Bankas Podcast - August 27, 2024


Hanging out in Chandler Arizona with Armin Arbabi ｜ The Bankas Show on Patreon - #046


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

157.10815

Word Count

1,703

Sentence Count

242

Misogynist Sentences

14

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It's been a while since Ben has been on the pod, but he's back! In this episode, Ben talks about his time in a weird hotel room in St. Louis, and how he met Ari Shafir. He also talks about the time he shot a porno on his dad's old camcorder.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.140 Alright, that was a good episode.
00:00:04.880 Let's go to the pool.
00:00:11.020 School's out for summer.
00:00:15.380 Ben Bank has just abandoned his family in a strange place in America to come hang out with an Iranian guy in a hotel room.
00:00:22.800 We have to close all the curtains because it looks like we're making the worst porn in America.
00:00:30.980 I don't even think that's legal in Arizona.
00:00:33.340 Making porn?
00:00:34.260 Maybe not.
00:00:35.800 No.
00:00:36.420 No.
00:00:37.160 They got legal weed, so it must be legal to...
00:00:39.420 Just film tooth.
00:00:42.200 Fat?
00:00:43.880 Skinny fat and fat fat.
00:00:48.160 What, you don't like this? You don't like this look?
00:00:50.380 Do I not look good?
00:00:52.800 Welcome to the show, everybody.
00:00:54.480 It has been too long.
00:00:57.220 It's been almost 10 days since the last podcast.
00:01:00.960 I had to do one in a weird hotel room in Stanford, Connecticut, which was a really fun time because I was telling you earlier, I did my show there.
00:01:11.300 And then I got to do spots that were like all weekend.
00:01:14.940 And it was fucking dope.
00:01:16.460 So shout out, Stanford.
00:01:18.000 Stamford.
00:01:18.700 You almost called it shit.
00:01:20.140 Oh.
00:01:20.480 A Freudian slip, nugget.
00:01:25.960 Shout out to that shit.
00:01:27.780 No, it's not a shithole.
00:01:29.020 No, it's definitely very beautiful, I'm sure.
00:01:30.720 Well, I wish I saw it.
00:01:32.160 I wouldn't go that far.
00:01:37.040 Downtown Hamilton is beautiful.
00:01:38.640 No, they have like a downtown.
00:01:42.580 It's obviously close to New York, so it's pretty much still New York.
00:01:46.500 Oh, it's like one of the boroughs.
00:01:47.500 It's a New York comedy club location in Stanford.
00:01:51.580 So it's pretty sick.
00:01:52.580 Oh, okay.
00:01:53.440 How far of a drive is that?
00:01:54.780 It's like an hour.
00:01:55.620 Oh, that's not terrible at all.
00:01:56.980 So basically, since the last time I talked to you guys, I went to Rhode Island.
00:02:05.040 I met up with a guy named Ari, which we filmed a Patreon episode, but he filmed it on his dad's ancient 1985 camcorder.
00:02:13.420 So I don't know if we're ever.
00:02:14.260 I don't know what the status is of that, the editing process of that, but that hopefully is coming actually this weekend from Ari.
00:02:23.980 I got to remind him on Patreon in Manhattan, basically.
00:02:28.640 So that's where we did the pod, but I met up with him in Rhode Island.
00:02:31.820 He's a guy that I met at Yuck Yucks.
00:02:33.660 Yeah, that they advertised as Ari Shafir.
00:02:36.100 By accident.
00:02:36.740 Yeah, they advertised him as Ari Shafir, and it was just this random Jewish kid with 1,600 followers from Manhattan.
00:02:45.040 Who's like, dad is 93 years old.
00:02:47.980 Yeah.
00:02:48.680 And so he came through.
00:02:52.400 Basically, so I met him in Toronto at Yuck Yucks, and then that night he filmed my set.
00:02:57.300 My camera didn't work or something.
00:02:58.960 Or Boardman forgot to press record.
00:03:01.080 Oh, good Lord.
00:03:01.920 Boardman was there?
00:03:02.980 Yeah.
00:03:03.380 Oh.
00:03:04.600 So Boardman, who's currently.
00:03:08.260 But he was supposed to press record on my camera, which was all set up, and then he just didn't press record.
00:03:13.380 Oh, the easiest job.
00:03:14.980 The easiest.
00:03:15.900 Yeah, literally.
00:03:16.760 And I had to do the Jewish yelling at him thing, where you're like, how could you do this?
00:03:22.100 How could you not fucking?
00:03:23.880 How could you?
00:03:25.300 This was the greatest set of my career.
00:03:27.900 Yeah, and so I murdered really hard.
00:03:29.940 And then Ari, this guy from New York who just did a spot on the show, but they thought he was Ari Shafir, was like, I actually recorded you set on my dad's.
00:03:40.280 Oh, on this camera.
00:03:42.880 There's like a famous Jewish camera store in New York called Baruch Hashem.
00:03:46.660 Oh, nice.
00:03:47.240 Is that what?
00:03:47.780 It's like B&H, and that's, yeah, his dad's all is like old equipment from there for like 50, 20.
00:03:52.060 Yeah, it was kind of sick.
00:03:53.020 But it was really bad quality.
00:03:54.540 So I think I did use the clip, but it was like so bad quality.
00:03:58.740 And then I think the clip was just me making fun of Ari.
00:04:01.780 Oh, yeah.
00:04:02.180 It was just me going on stage.
00:04:04.140 Fuck, that might have been too Jewish.
00:04:06.260 I can't even like all this.
00:04:07.640 I was like killing people.
00:04:08.740 We're just loving it.
00:04:10.120 Anyway, he back then, that was like six months ago, maybe before I even was touring the U.S. at all.
00:04:18.380 Yeah.
00:04:19.040 And I think I was probably only at 85,000 followers at that point.
00:04:31.820 Jen Zucato is about a comedy.
00:04:33.340 Yeah, yeah, we have to tell that story.
00:04:38.820 But no, he.
00:04:44.640 Fuck, this water is so fire.
00:04:46.700 It's like actual water as opposed to Canadian water, which is it's fake.
00:04:53.060 It's 5G.
00:04:54.400 5G water.
00:04:57.920 Anyway, so six months and he kept in touch.
00:05:01.060 He was like, you know, he followed me on IG and he was just like, yo, if you're ever out in Rhode Island or New York and need his spots.
00:05:07.400 And then when I started like posting my thing, he was like, he asked me like two months ago, can I do a spot in Rhode Island?
00:05:13.840 And I just like didn't even remember who it was.
00:05:16.200 But I was just like, yeah, sure.
00:05:18.180 Like, because I basically, you know, I was just like, OK, it's either this guy or the club.
00:05:25.880 Yeah.
00:05:26.080 Like, but I like half remembered it.
00:05:27.780 But yeah, I was just like, yeah.
00:05:29.520 But then I forgot.
00:05:30.740 So they they had an extra guy.
00:05:32.180 He had to do a guest spot.
00:05:35.420 The Rhode Island's like, what, like a two hour, three hours.
00:05:37.720 He was already there.
00:05:38.720 Oh, OK.
00:05:39.220 His parents like live there or whatever.
00:05:40.500 Fair enough.
00:05:41.060 But then he drove another two.
00:05:42.560 Yeah.
00:05:42.780 Three hours back to New York.
00:05:44.160 He helped me out, though.
00:05:48.080 He did.
00:05:48.420 He did let you stay.
00:05:49.280 You sent me photos of that.
00:05:50.820 Picked up my family from the airport.
00:05:52.600 Yeah.
00:05:52.760 He sent me photos of the rent control department with the roaches and the mold.
00:05:56.480 Oh, yeah.
00:05:57.300 Bathroom door that doesn't close.
00:06:00.120 So.
00:06:03.840 Yeah.
00:06:05.340 I was in New York doing that.
00:06:06.900 And then my family came.
00:06:10.480 And now I'm here.
00:06:11.360 Where the fuck are we?
00:06:12.280 We're in Phoenix.
00:06:12.900 We went back from New York to Austin.
00:06:17.520 I signed up for Kill Tony.
00:06:19.000 I didn't get on.
00:06:20.420 People are coming up to me going.
00:06:23.320 Shouldn't you be like a guest?
00:06:25.900 And I'm like, yeah, kid, you got to sell some tickets.
00:06:33.380 So dark.
00:06:34.300 I know.
00:06:34.780 Yeah.
00:06:35.140 But.
00:06:36.640 And it was Matt Reif on.
00:06:38.380 Apparently.
00:06:39.140 Fat Reif.
00:06:40.040 Fat Reif.
00:06:40.900 Check me out.
00:06:42.100 Yo, Matt Reif.
00:06:43.760 Yo, Matt.
00:06:44.900 What do you think the secret is, bro?
00:06:47.640 Yeah.
00:06:48.000 I'm Fat Reif, guys.
00:06:51.220 This is such a fat guy thing to do.
00:06:52.920 Just pulling down.
00:06:54.300 Pulling down anything is such fat guy shit.
00:06:56.460 Yeah, and that was fucking cool.
00:07:08.920 The DNC is going viral, which is, I, the footage is just so pathetically bad.
00:07:13.200 I know.
00:07:13.760 That it's like sad compared to the RNC, which was Hulk Hogan ripping his shirt open.
00:07:20.160 Cool ass shit.
00:07:20.900 Cool ass shit.
00:07:21.200 It's like the DNC is just like a dude in a wheelchair.
00:07:24.180 Oh, yeah.
00:07:24.740 The one guy was just like.
00:07:28.100 And then she's like, that means that he's really happy to be here.
00:07:31.460 He's probably saying, kill me now.
00:07:33.260 I don't want to live anymore.
00:07:34.620 I'm pretty sure that was that woman's husband.
00:07:36.780 Like, she was like, we met at the Biden-Harris blah, blah, blah.
00:07:41.020 And it's just him being like.
00:07:44.000 Yeah, like Trump pussy must smell like cigarettes, but Biden pussy is just in a wheelchair.
00:07:48.140 I don't even think Trump pussy is probably just much more normal than any of the liberal
00:07:53.760 pussies that, like, Kamala Harris's daughter, stepdaughter.
00:07:58.780 Is she hot?
00:07:59.540 She's like.
00:08:00.480 Wait, is she of age?
00:08:01.620 She looks like she lives in downtown Austin, like in a sewer.
00:08:04.800 Whoa.
00:08:05.360 I want to look her up.
00:08:06.580 Yeah, you'd probably actually like her.
00:08:08.100 I'd probably match with her.
00:08:09.740 Yeah.
00:08:10.100 I've been on vacation.
00:08:11.160 I haven't done anything.
00:08:11.680 She's like super woke looking.
00:08:13.140 I've just been living in Ben's house being uncle.
00:08:15.920 Kamala's stepdaughter?
00:08:16.920 Oh, let's see this.
00:08:21.520 Let's see it.
00:08:24.300 Oh, yeah.
00:08:25.380 Dude, she's hot.
00:08:26.440 How old is she?
00:08:27.460 Before we.
00:08:30.960 My Republican fans are not going to like the incident.
00:08:35.840 I mean, she's not ugly.
00:08:37.740 She's just super woke.
00:08:39.380 Oh, yeah.
00:08:39.620 She's super woke.
00:08:40.380 But that means like her vagina, like, doesn't work functionally.
00:08:44.380 Functionally, like, it's just a whole.
00:08:49.400 You know what I mean?
00:08:50.400 Like, she's not using those ovaries.
00:08:52.140 She's just getting loads dropped and off.
00:08:55.480 Yeah.
00:08:56.580 That's what you like.
00:08:57.960 Yeah, of course.
00:08:59.800 I like a nice woman who wants a family.
00:09:01.760 Oh, hey.
00:09:02.980 Yeah, I guess she's hotter.
00:09:09.460 But like, I don't know.
00:09:11.440 Trump's.
00:09:12.120 I mean, people were calling Trump's stepdaughter hot.
00:09:14.920 But then she was like 17 or something.
00:09:17.500 Oh, no.
00:09:18.080 Or not his stepdaughter is like granddaughter.
00:09:20.200 Oh, that's crazy.
00:09:21.260 Yeah.
00:09:21.760 Yeah.
00:09:21.960 We're like, this is what a woman should look like.
00:09:24.460 It's like, I'm literally 17.
00:09:26.140 Is this a teenager?
00:09:27.320 And then like, I'm like, I'm not defending.
00:09:29.740 Yeah.
00:09:30.280 That's crazy.
00:09:31.160 That's wild.
00:09:31.980 That's wild.
00:09:32.660 But it is.
00:09:33.240 But I mean, then there was a video of Trump's son.
00:09:38.760 What's his name?
00:09:39.400 No.
00:09:40.040 Eric?
00:09:40.720 The other one.
00:09:41.780 Donald?
00:09:42.620 Junior?
00:09:43.400 Does he have a Donald Junior?
00:09:44.420 Yeah, Don Junior.
00:09:45.560 The slick back hair guy.
00:09:47.060 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:47.840 He is like in this video with his daughter being like, you're looking sexy tonight.
00:09:54.200 I mean, it's kind of funny.
00:09:56.840 They're like geniuses.
00:09:58.060 No, Trump's whole thing.
00:09:59.220 But people were like calling your daughter sexy.
00:10:01.680 He's kind of fucked up.
00:10:02.680 I mean, he's just doing it for views.
00:10:04.860 It's viral.
00:10:05.740 Right.
00:10:06.360 You know what I mean?
00:10:06.840 People are going to like that's that's the masterment marketer.
00:10:10.280 That's why Trump won.
00:10:11.520 Just Tim Walls calling fucking Camilla's husband being like,
00:10:17.220 you're sexy tonight.
00:10:19.280 Yeah, just wearing like with the hoop thing.
00:10:22.040 And it's just like 32 years old.
00:10:23.500 I live in your basement.
00:10:25.080 Studied my PhD in vaginas.
00:10:29.560 Thank you for listening to the podcast.
00:10:31.600 The rest of this podcast is available on my Patreon.
00:10:34.880 Patreon.com slash Ben Bank is B-E-N-B-A-N-K-A-S.
00:10:39.500 Join today.
00:10:40.460 It's only like four bucks a month.
00:10:42.180 It helps out a lot.
00:10:43.160 And you get a full bonus podcast every week.
00:10:48.040 Appreciate you guys.
00:10:49.320 And we'll see you over on Patreon.