Inauguration's Eve ｜ Bankas Podcast on Patreon - #056
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
157.70424
Summary
A new chapter in my life is about to be written in the history books, and I can't be more excited about it. I talk about the new chapter and how we are now in a new chapter, and how it's time to turn up the heat.
Transcript
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welcome to patreon everybody it's ben bank is comedian you know me from uh your phone i'm on
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your phone saying uh shit that you'd probably get fired for two years ago but now if you show
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your boss one of my videos you might actually get a raise that's that's what i'm talking about baby
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all the dei shit is done they're scrapping it reason being woke people suck at working they're
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never the best at anything i mean they're not they can't look at biden he's great look at camilla she
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can't fucking win an election because uh she's woke you wouldn't hire that if you worked at a
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company that made tons and tons of money you wouldn't hire some dumb woke person to do anything
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so my point is we are now in a new chapter folks right now i'm recording this on inaugurations eve
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beautiful time happy inaugurations eve everybody that's right tomorrow or whenever you're watching
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this trump becomes president officially and again you know second time he's back all these people
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want to be like oh my god it's oh it's so horrible but he was already he already did it he already did
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where this is around two and you know all the good stuff that he did in the first round of his
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presidency got undone by biden isn't that nice isn't that nice all the stuff he fixed one of my
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friends told me yesterday he goes yeah they had 30 grand in my bank uh you know when when trump was
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leaving office now i have zero so i hope he makes more than 30 grand in four years but for real
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it's real out there folks people had a better go at things when trump was in office and they're
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gonna have a better go again when he's in office so i'm pretty fucking excited i'm excited for it to
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happen for too long i mean for the last four years biden's been president and that was the time when i
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really did a lot of work and i think i'm gonna blow up even bigger because trump's in office um but i did
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a lot of work a lot of comedy to make light of the ridiculousness that that biden and the other
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you know in canada trudeau you know these guys don't know what they're doing at the end of the day
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it's like they're woke they progressive they don't know what they're doing they don't care about the
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vast majority of people and their struggles they really just care about some bullshit and people
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want to say oh trump doesn't care he he only cares about rich people bro his rich friend you know
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how many you know how many people his him and his friends employ and those are the people oh those are
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the poor people they're not the people he employs aren't even that poor because they got a good job
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sorry but a lot of poor people it's just like yo you you don't you're not really trying let's be
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honest you're not really trying to do much right i mean every poor person you know are they
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working four jobs and still can't afford anything no they're just poor they're lazy they they do
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you know this a little bit of this a little bit of that it's embarrassing i'm sorry but it's time
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now if you're poor right now and trump's coming into being president this is your opportunity start a
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business move to a state with low taxes buy five thousand dollars worth of pool equipment
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and and hire a couple mexicans on task rabbit figure it out okay this is your opportunity to
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stop being poor seriously if you're still poor after trump for the next four years that's on you
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100 i mean it was still on you when biden was in but it's a kind of a good excuse i'm poor biden
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you're like people like i get it but now there's no excuse it's time to turn up the heat and in the
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last year you know that's what i've been doing now obviously we're in this new little spot um where are
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we doesn't matter this studio we're gonna be doing a lot of things this might be one of the last
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podcasts on this camera i got this beautiful camera hanging off the ceiling here which i like
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and um you know we're gonna get set up another chair right here and we're gonna have a wide
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angle lens over there we'll have this camera over here or maybe we'll i'll hang that camera somewhere
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else high up um to get these cool cool little angles i think probably even put the camera over
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there might even be better lots to look forward to this year is all i'm saying and you know
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if you're listening to this on patreon if you're listening to this for free it doesn't matter
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you're supporting me patreon by the end of this year we're gonna you know it's just you know we're
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gonna do what we gotta do but the bullshit is mostly over i did a free podcast with mark
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breslin who always supported me throughout the pandemic even though we had some different views
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on on some things but we he always supported me let me say whatever the fuck i wanted
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and i really respect him for that and thank him for that and of course yuck yucks
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and and all the people who work at the head office um jenny and the other people ryan the people that
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alex the people that helped put together my package to be able to come to the u.s and work here you
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know the the i had to submit a lot of signatures and get signatures and they were always really cool
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about it and getting me that type of stuff really quick and yeah because this is going to be a big
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this is a big year i don't know about you guys but i'm going to be on tour a lot i'm having a kid
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i'm having a second kid and i'm living in austin texas is coming up on one full year
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and i love it here i'll be honest with you all the canadians like how do you like it how do you like
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i'm like i love it i love it there was a comic the other day saying that they hated it
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here and i asked why and they were like oh my roommate something so i'm like bro i can't hear
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this i can't i don't want to roommate what the i mean if you're okay look really if you're over 25
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with a roommate i know there's people in their 40s with roommates you know i know times get tough
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25 30 cut off i get it maybe if my mom hadn't had dementia and
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been you know maybe i would still live with her if she didn't have dementia and if she hadn't died
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um so maybe i'm just talking shit but no i mean i i had moved out of my mom's i was multiple times
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and then kind of came back um and it's nice i i envy the people that have that the parents i want
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to give that to my kids i want to be able to be like yeah move back move out who cares i don't even
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notice come in come out but that kind of shit fucking grows you up when you have a parent that
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passes away and you're you're under 40 really like it's even after 40 it's hard but under 40 you really
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got to grow up especially if you have kids a lot of people now they don't have kids they're fucking in
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their late 30s and they're just they're moping around society going from bar to bar oh i don't
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know i don't know what to do like and then they end up getting laid and then they're still not happy
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i don't know the only thing that can cure that is have a kid like if you're out getting laid all the
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time and you're not happy you need to have a family i think that's probably why you're sad
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because once you have a family you'll be sad too because then you'll be like well but not really
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only if if you're not think about it think about all the people you know with families
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who prioritize family prioritize family are they sad no they're fucking happy for the most part be honest
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they don't and maybe they're not as outgoing and interested in everything everybody else is doing
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yeah because they've that that's the point that's when you meet people who are just like and how are
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you and what's the it's give it a rest you know what i mean you got somebody at your office who's
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always oh and how was i don't care anymore i have a family i don't i don't i want to hear what the
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fuck you're telling me about your fucking day and what you did on the weekend i don't care and then
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they go what did you do it's like i don't even want to why do i gotta tell you what i did with my
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you know what i hung out with my my fucking family bro what are you what it's crazy
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but as we get into the um paid portion of the show so the way we do patreon the first 10 minutes
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is free after that we put it behind a paywall and that's how you support me guys it's an incredible
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way to support me if you love my comedy i know some of you guys like people who are making me these
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the monkey mask things and people are making dolls and um giving me gifts at shows that i really
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appreciate i really felt bad some when somebody gave me a really nice gift i forgot it at the show
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and then they were like i saw you walk out without my gift and i was like shit i fucked up um but
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i really appreciate you guys and the way you can really help me out go over to patreon.com
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slash ben bank is sign up and it's four bucks a month and you'll get the rest of this podcast and
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the rest of this podcast i'm going to be talking about my little weekend uh performing at comedy
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mothership was lucky enough to perform there with brian callen and uh yeah so follow me on patreon
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subscribe and you can hear the rest of this pod
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