Bankas Podcast - Minneapolis & Philly Recap ｜ Bankas Podcast

00:00:00.000 welcome back to bankers podcast everybody it's almost june and uh it's time for you to like and

00:00:07.860 subscribe to the channel on youtube um or spotify apple podcast wherever you might be listening

00:00:15.400 today you're at the gym you're in your car driving to work thinking about how horrible it's going to

00:00:23.080 be once you get there and how you hate everybody um that works there and you question every day

00:00:29.000 why did i go to school so i could do this job that i don't even understand why it's so evil but i do it

00:00:37.260 that's for my rich fans my poor fans i'm sorry that you're working at a grocery store right now i hope

00:00:43.440 i'm glad that they're letting you listen to this though through hopefully some headphones i have

00:00:47.900 some construction workers who are my fans that hopefully you guys have a speaker at the

00:00:54.800 construction site you can put on bankers podcast i had some cops at my show in minneapolis um friends

00:01:01.980 of derrick and i hope that they um you know play the podcast in the squad car for the

00:01:10.100 black people that they arrest everybody we need to spread the word that's how we're going to spread

00:01:16.040 the word about bankers podcast to the black community to the the urban community by um

00:01:23.260 every squad car in america playing bankers podcast for all of the um potential alleged

00:01:31.180 uh abuses of power police brutality i don't buy it folks um and if you speaking of buying stuff

00:01:40.740 patreon.com slash ben bankers easiest way to support me five bucks a month as you can see if

00:01:47.400 you're watching on youtube the the studio just keeps improving we got um you know paintings up we got

00:01:54.920 we you know we're saving up for another camera we're gonna do two angles and then eventually um

00:02:01.660 expand the room but yeah it's been great man i was in minneapolis four shows

00:02:06.620 definitely a weird town not gonna lie to you i mean i didn't go anywhere except the airport

00:02:12.760 and the mall of america so i didn't really see minneapolis i didn't see the sights

00:02:17.940 you know i i was i didn't have time to go down to the george floyd memorial which i i wish i had made

00:02:26.140 time to do that um at midnight i don't know it's a little bit of a sketchy area i heard so i don't i

00:02:35.040 didn't i i skipped that tourist attraction but mall of america it really is america they got

00:02:43.860 they got everybody there they got somalians they got black kids with uh you know ski masks on

00:02:52.700 walking around pretending like they're not trying to rob people and then they got the good old gullible

00:02:58.460 whites walking around the mall like it's everything's fine and it's the 90s

00:03:04.100 and they're not in severe danger now it was a cool vibe um i mean not a cool vibe at the mall it's

00:03:12.940 i don't think malls have cool vibes but they had a vibe of you know poor families some some couple at

00:03:23.160 my show was traveled what six hours not to like they not to just do my like to go to the mall

00:03:30.480 i was like the cherry on top of their weekend they got to see ben bank his slate show at the mall

00:03:39.040 of america and oh boy was it it was glorious the first the early shows of both nights were

00:03:47.460 more sold we didn't sell out any of the shows i'm not gonna sit here and

00:03:52.380 lie to you although i want to and just say it was sold out but um minneapolis it's a new market

00:04:01.060 that's what it's a new market i haven't been there yet and the people who know me love me

00:04:06.960 we had we had you know there was fans at every show but that's how it goes when you go to a market

00:04:12.540 the first time i went to tampa we sold 40 tickets in may of 2024 and then when i came back like not even

00:04:19.720 that many months later like seven months later we sold out the first show and the early like late

00:04:26.140 show we had like 30 tickets left like before we sold out so and it grows man that's how it grows

00:04:34.240 you gotta you gotta drop in what's this like people tell people a lot a lot of this a lot of this

00:04:41.280 business is a way to mouth you understand it's like this comedy is like the ultimate it's like doing

00:04:46.860 real estate in a weird fucked up way where it's like yeah you can pay for all the ads you want you

00:04:52.980 can have a uh you know the hugest instagram following but it's way to mouth you need somebody

00:05:01.040 to go hey you heard of this guy who fucking does the chinese fucking thing and that's how we do

00:05:08.700 business baby so minneapolis yeah it was it was nice i had a they you know they just give me random

00:05:16.780 openers i wasn't able to take my openers and i had a somalian guy the fat somalian which was nice to

00:05:27.420 see that's that's what i call americanized that's what i call assimilating but he was uh you know he's

00:05:36.820 pretty chill it was it was a chill time he you know he was funny um there's another comic who

00:05:42.800 drove me back to my hotel because he like apparently my hotel was in the mall but i couldn't get to it

00:05:50.980 through the mall or he was trying to i don't know what the fuck it was maybe he was trying to fuck me

00:05:55.640 to be honest um but i did give him a five minute spot of the late show in the second night because of

00:06:01.360 that nice gesture and uh he bombed he did bomb so that happens sometimes folks yeah you know a comic

00:06:11.340 does a nice thing you're like okay what two minutes you got one minute four minutes um

00:06:19.780 do your kill Tony minute you got one minute um he did five and he didn't do great but it was you

00:06:29.720 the late show stand-up comedy late show the early shows were pretty well sold oh you know 150 170

00:06:39.960 people the late shows were like 60 70 people so people were still there there was still a show it

00:06:49.260 was just the late show at mall it's weird doing a comedy show at a mall when the mall's closed you know

00:06:56.680 that vibe where people are just thinking like fuck i gotta get back to my car somehow it's gonna be

00:07:03.120 empty it's gonna be creepy it's gonna be scary so it's a bit of a scare it's a bit of a scare show

00:07:09.780 but we got through them and then we went to philly and when i'm the show i did in philly i gotta be honest

00:07:17.560 it was one of the best comedy shows in a long time in a long time it was just fucking incredible

00:07:25.780 the energy it felt like yuck yucks you know a year two years ago when you know when we first started

00:07:34.020 selling out at yucks in toronto it was just packed fucking everybody was hyped and it was just great

00:07:40.880 and yeah philly's just a good fucking town man i don't know everybody that look at all the talent

00:07:49.720 that comes out of philadelphia all the comedians shane um you know all this like you know shane and

00:07:56.100 mccusker and all all those guys are fucking hilarious and people are just kind of funny there like when

00:08:01.760 you walk around you hear people making jokes as you know when you walk past people and you just hear

00:08:07.480 like boring conversations in philly people are having like funny conversations when you're just

00:08:12.920 walking down the street it's it's it's very interesting it's a different place than toronto

00:08:18.500 where you walk down the street and you just hear

00:08:20.100 so it's nice to hear just whites and blacks being funny that's what america's built on

00:08:33.840 and philadelphia is definitely got a lot of people who are the backbone you know when they say the

00:08:42.800 backbone of american truckers yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of people who are the backbone in

00:08:49.080 in philadelphia i've got to admit i'm not from a place with a lot of backbone toronto we don't have

00:08:56.020 backbone we have uh we have goody bone it's so bad but traveling that many days something so i didn't get

00:09:08.640 drunk i didn't drink for like a week after whatever shows that i had the previous week which was

00:09:15.260 um fuck i forget somebody whatever i had last week

00:09:22.480 austin and detroit so i had austin detroit and then after that i was like i'm not going to drink

00:09:29.640 and i just didn't want to and i didn't drink for like a week and then the late show the second night

00:09:35.740 in minnesota i was like fuck i need i think i need a drink for this so i drank and i kind of got drunk i

00:09:42.200 had like two of those like ipas local ipas 6.5 6.8 percent and it kind of fucked me up

00:09:51.200 and i and then i went home and ate taco bell i like starved myself all day basically did like a

00:09:58.980 25 hour fast and then just did taco bell right to the to to a bunch of alcohol and pretty much no food

00:10:06.500 and and yeah i puked aggressively and luckily in the toilet in my hotel room but i did

00:10:14.780 stub my toe on the way to go puke in minneapolis in the dark um unable to sleep because i was so drunk

00:10:24.140 with a flight at 6 a.m the next day or that morning in a few hours from this point and walking to the

00:10:31.840 bathroom i stubbed my toe and i think i broke it it's like black or was i think it's better

00:10:38.660 but it was bad and when i puke when i get drunk and i puke it like all the fucking blood vessels

00:10:47.540 in my face just burst and i just look insane like i look like it almost looks like freckles

00:10:53.080 if you see me up close and that's what it used to always be but now i've started like getting black

00:10:59.100 eyes almost like when i puke i just like there's so much force on my face because i'm so probably

00:11:06.280 because i'm fat and i'm just and like and then yeah it just bursts and it looked like i had a black

00:11:15.240 eye fucking going through tsa flying to philadelphia they probably looked at the black eye and looked at

00:11:23.000 my ticket and go he's going to philly it makes perfect sense so showed up there like 10 a.m luckily

00:11:31.440 i was able to fucking crash couldn't get my hotel room for another hour and a half

00:11:36.400 and i was just standing around the lobby being like fuck and there was no food open it was like

00:11:42.980 right downtown at 11 i got a ramen thank god the ramen saved my you ever have a ramen that saves your

00:11:51.120 life hungover puking four hour flight or whatever it was i think i had to switch flight i might have even

00:12:00.620 been too or maybe was direct right from minneapolis middle seat i mean i i have i've had so many

00:12:10.620 middle seats recently it's really i'm not i'm not a middle seat guy i really shouldn't be a middle seat

00:12:16.040 guy but i am a middle seat guy right now which is why you have to support me on patreon

00:12:21.160 i mean i'm just too i've done first class a few times like when i've booked a flight like two and

00:12:31.000 a half months out and it's like okay this is 200 bucks but sometimes it's crazy guys i'm not fucking

00:12:37.520 you know i'm trying to be responsibly i have children

00:12:40.080 so a lot of middle seats and it's been tough and i had a middle seat i have a middle seat tomorrow

00:12:49.060 i'm flying i was so after philly i flew back to austin and i did some my you know i did vulcan and

00:12:59.000 mothership um on monday night i did crew show at mothership and the can't can't even comedy

00:13:09.180 um over at vulcan in in austin texas and it was a cool vibe i mean the vulcan was packed

00:13:17.600 mothership obviously is always packed little boy did a did a five minute you know it's it's

00:13:23.360 it's nothing major but went out nonetheless and see comics i was walking down the street and this

00:13:31.780 comic goes whoa what are you doing here i thought you were on tour i'm like i don't know

00:13:38.220 magic what like what do you want me to tell you in that moment yeah man uh fucking the tour fell

00:13:48.880 through i'm yeah well like what do you want me to tell you yeah there's a tour i took a break and

00:13:54.340 came back i i'm from here i was telling this to another comic and he was saying like yeah people

00:14:00.520 are just like yeah let me know when you're around let me know it's like bro i live here

00:14:03.980 i abandoned my country of canada to move to texas texas

00:14:11.560 all the canadians is is it better is it better yes of course it's fucking better

00:14:18.860 i mean i'm there are aspects of canada that are better i think and then but you know for what i do

00:14:27.440 not for what you guys do is it better i mean you work you know i don't know what fucking job

00:14:33.880 in some office in canada like you're not going to be able to figure it out i'm sorry you're not going

00:14:39.660 to be able to move here and be successful and be a regular at the mothership and have you know you're

00:14:48.820 not you're just not so just leave it to me that's why i'm an alien of extraordinary ability

00:14:55.700 and my job here is to dunk on the aliens with no ability i call them some call them illegal aliens

00:15:04.620 i call them uh what are they called paperless

00:15:10.840 we're not calling them illegal aliens anymore we're calling them paperless and we're going we're

00:15:17.600 going paperless

00:15:18.520 that's what jesus yeah so

00:15:24.280 you can't move here how do i get you know canadians message me how do i get a visa how do i move to

00:15:34.480 america i mean bro what do you do you're you're a carpenter yeah they they got a visa

00:15:40.840 not enough sorry what do you do you're uh

00:15:45.520 nothing you're nobody you're fucked sorry you're trapped you can't leave just enjoy it just embrace

00:15:56.800 it if you're canadian you're listening to this and you want to move to america really bad just just

00:16:01.420 embrace it mark carney we got to get mark carney in blackface and a turban that's that's got to be

00:16:08.340 the initiation for prime minister of canada for the rest of time it really should be

00:16:13.620 can't be prime minister if you haven't done brownface and war at turban

00:16:18.060 but it's it's very cool flying around the country it is i mean it's every almost every weekend now for

00:16:31.180 for a little bit i've been flying to different parts of the u.s last year we did a full like that

00:16:36.020 was a crazy tour it was like two weeks straight of shows 13 shows and 15 nights or something crazy like

00:16:42.840 that and i mean detroit detroit's on the come up it's not as bad as people want to i mean it's bad

00:16:53.440 but if it's like retro it's like so bad that it's like retro it's like wow this used to be a city but

00:17:03.320 it is but there's still people here it's like the city fell and then the people just stayed and then

00:17:10.380 other people are moving there you can you know there's it's it's interesting there's a comedy scene

00:17:15.540 there a lot of com some comics move there sam talent move there it's cool it's got a vibe it's

00:17:25.780 no austin they don't have mothership i'm sorry house of comedy not exactly

00:17:30.600 mothership but i'm flying out tomorrow middle seat i'm flying to newark which i know i've heard that

00:17:41.240 apparently they don't have air traffic control and nobody knows what's going you know they're just

00:17:47.220 the planes are just figuring it out but i'm going middle seat 38 throw i'm on my way poughkeepsie

00:17:57.300 new york we just sold out let's fucking go not like when it's you know sometimes i have comics it's

00:18:05.020 like it's it's sold they go is it sold out they're opening for me and they go is it sold out and i go

00:18:10.880 almost and then they take a picture and they go ben bank is packing the room like it's like just say

00:18:16.740 nothing just post the picture and let people use their imagination is it so it looks sold out looks

00:18:22.120 packed it's packed aka it's not sold out stop doing that please just take the pic but poughkeepsie sold

00:18:33.080 out boston friday night we're gonna sell out both shows i mean we're going to see that's another tactic

00:18:38.960 we're gonna sell out i don't know the late show sold out the early show is almost sold out there's

00:18:45.300 like 15 to 20 tickets left saturday i think there's a few more tickets left so go get those tickets but

00:18:53.140 tell your friends if you're in boston just send it out i'm gonna run an ad we'll run an ad for you

00:18:59.200 the ads do help because there's a lot of people think that you know you're just running an ad and

00:19:08.240 it's all new people that are going to see that ad and then you know want to you know follow you from

00:19:14.860 that or whatever but really what it is is you're actually advertising to mostly people who already

00:19:21.520 know who you are like there's people who are fans of you who don't even follow you on ig but they know

00:19:25.940 who you are you know i mean they don't they don't they're not up on most people have lives they're not

00:19:31.220 just sitting there waiting you know the hardcore fans like you guys i know you're listening i love

00:19:37.560 you but there are casual fans that you gotta make an ad because they don't fucking know they don't even

00:19:44.680 know like i have people who you know i have facebook fans guys and if you comment below if you're a

00:19:52.640 facebook fan listening to this you need this you should be every day that you as soon as you start

00:19:57.680 doom scrolling be like fuck i'm gonna put on bank as a podcast like it'll help you i think it'll help

00:20:04.780 because i'm doing cooler stuff than you so you should be listening to me feeling like you could be more

00:20:13.620 than what you are and then maybe doing that or not or just enjoying it while you doom scroll and

00:20:19.140 comment crazy shit and dm people crazy shit because you're fucking crazy

00:20:24.440 but bokeepsie and boston is it going to be a fun time bringing armin he's going to come through

00:20:33.020 i'd like to bring him to austin after and get him on the podcast sitting in this other

00:20:39.220 chair here and we'd have three cameras if he came so we could have one wide shot two

00:20:45.860 close-up shots could be really sick uh but he's like doing like the persian thing where he's like

00:20:56.840 hangs out with like family members and that you know i have families families living with us right

00:21:02.800 now yeah jesus christ stop that stop that for the love of god but he's coming uh re shield another

00:21:14.380 opener i brought him to toronto friend of mine i call my friends openers i don't really have friends

00:21:19.520 i just have openers that's actually a pretty good line who needs him am i right but one of my openers

00:21:28.280 one of my close openers got bed bugs which sucks because i used to make my other close openers stay

00:21:37.640 at his apartment in new york city but now that's pretty much grounds for a potential labor lawsuit

00:21:47.200 at this point yeah my uh my master i don't know what what's it called how does it like i call them

00:21:55.720 openers they call me god and i say and they go god do i really have to sleep at this guy's house that

00:22:06.420 has bed bugs on this 25 year old couch that is covered now in plastic do i have to do this and i go

00:22:13.860 yeah and and then he sues me but it's worth it because no i mean look these are the these are my

00:22:23.280 openers if you're coming to see me one of them has bed bugs one of them lives with his cousin

00:22:29.320 don't say i'm not diverse don't say that i don't promote diversity inclusion one of them's jewish and

00:22:39.760 one of them's persian guess guess which one's which yep you're right the jew had bed bugs

00:22:46.360 and the persian lives with his cousin

00:22:49.060 but it will be nice it'll be nice to to be with friends and and do sold out shows i mean everybody

00:23:00.880 like you know obviously you want your shows to sell out that was the one guy that i fired in san diego

00:23:06.640 from being on the show he was an opener he was an opener that came out of nowhere

00:23:17.100 booked by the club i brought arman to san diego and this opener was very feisty

00:23:27.400 what'd he say to me he goes he goes um yeah do you like do you usually try to sell these out

00:23:38.520 because it was one of the shows where it's like seats 280 we sold 222

00:23:45.440 so it's a good show it's packed but it's not

00:23:52.540 all the way sold out

00:23:56.600 so he said that to me and i i took offense and then he went on stage and bombed

00:24:07.120 so aggressively this comic was just doing he was talking about how he hates comedy and

00:24:13.160 like on stage just being like i hate comedy i'm not funny

00:24:16.400 bro you're not the right you can't open it can't open

00:24:21.420 can't close can't open

00:24:24.420 go somewhere in the middle of a show with 40 comics on it but

00:24:30.240 you cannot fucking open for me so i fired him that night he was like trying to come in the green

00:24:38.220 room after and he was doing jokes that weren't working and then saying like oh you guys just

00:24:42.680 want the racist guy to come out here right to my like to my fans who were waiting to see me there

00:24:47.680 it was fucking that was bad but yeah i told him i was like don't come back tomorrow man

00:24:52.700 and he was like oh you could do that you have the power to do them like i am doing that

00:24:58.380 that's what i'm doing you're you're done

00:25:00.520 but it's nice to come back to austin and just do family stuff

00:25:11.560 that's really i mean that's what maturing is i think you get to a point

00:25:18.260 like a lot of people who don't have kids or wait so long to not have like to have kids and then

00:25:24.740 they're like fomo they're all like i don't know if i want a family like i just love going out and i

00:25:30.860 love you love going out going out it's awful really for the most part i mean it's fun once in a while

00:25:39.540 if you do it every weekend i mean come on i mean look also i'm fat so maybe it's a fat like if you're

00:25:46.000 thin and hot and maybe it's great maybe going out it's great but for me it's i'm tired i'm sweaty

00:25:52.120 i'm hungry i gotta eat then i ate too much then i'm you know acid reflux bad sleep these are this

00:26:01.180 is like reality folks you want to live in reality you don't go out you stay in you cook at home

00:26:09.060 right you do fun things you take your just take your family places i want to go to tokyo japan with

00:26:17.420 my family really bad but i don't know what to do with my dogs maybe we could bring the dogs to

00:26:23.240 japan i'll be so fucked 13 hour flight with the dogs jesus christ fucking dogs are holding back my

00:26:32.000 family right now because if i didn't have dogs i could take my family to a lot more places

00:26:37.400 i'm going to new york tomorrow my family could come i mean then we have to then i have to rent a car

00:26:43.340 it does get more expensive i mean ari is going to pick me up in his uh bed bug mobile uh it's a vw bed

00:26:51.680 bug and if i was bringing my family i wouldn't want to put them in ari's bed bug car which i don't

00:27:03.440 even really want to be in i've contemplated renting a car but the problem is i too am half jewish and the

00:27:12.200 cheap the cheapness of well it's it runs doesn't have any shocks his car doesn't have any shocks

00:27:19.720 or suspension it does feel horrible going down the road it's a it's a bad drive it is not a smooth

00:27:26.360 drive i want to rent a car i might i might that's a good investment in safety in not having to be in a

00:27:37.120 bed bug car or a guy a car of a guy who had a bed bug it's good i mean he's jewish too with that's

00:27:45.800 kind of that's gross so might have to rent a car to drive from new york to poughkeepsie

00:27:58.080 to boston because i don't think i'm gonna fly to boston it's a three-hour drive

00:28:06.420 and sometimes those drives are fun i mean especially when you're not

00:28:10.920 you know it's summer it's not a blizzard and i'm a comedian new to the country a year just over a

00:28:20.640 year that i've been living in the u.s i don't know those back places and i want to drive through there

00:28:27.200 because then when you're on stage in boston you you know you throw out a reference some random

00:28:33.280 town you drove through that everybody knows that nobody you know boom you're a fucking stock

00:28:40.240 you're a star because you did a drive this kid's a star he fucking drove for three hours and he

00:28:48.260 figured three town names out he fucking killed because he killed he might it

00:28:53.120 so that's important the drives the little drives then i'll be back austin texas

00:29:03.920 doing shows hanging out

00:29:07.360 i wish canada wasn't so fucked like part of me wants to i mean look

00:29:14.540 you guys have to you know you know what it is this this podcast has no ads people are like this guy

00:29:22.140 mentioned patreon three times dude there's no ads i don't have any sponsors because i did too much

00:29:27.700 olivia chow so here we are scraping away at

00:29:33.640 you know i have fans who don't they don't understand like i have a great fan base and i have a unique fan

00:29:41.560 base and a lot of my fans aren't necessarily like a lot of my fans are comedy fans and no other

00:29:49.980 comedy comedy and podcasts but a lot of my fans don't know anything about comedy really other than

00:29:59.380 like i've done a chinese accent and that's great because i need you guys to start listening to my

00:30:05.100 podcast which it's better because then you you've you'll never listen to anybody else's because you

00:30:09.560 don't really care about the the grand scheme of things you're just you know you're down for the

00:30:16.220 for the cause for the ben bankers cause so i'm transitioning i'm transitioning my fans to

00:30:25.460 come over the podcast because it's it's just a fun time

00:30:30.960 thank you guys for listening and we will see you next week

00:30:40.200 if you're looking for a bonus episode another episode go to patreon.com slash ben bankers there's

00:30:48.060 always a bonus every week so if you love the podcast you felt today was too short go over to

00:30:53.760 patreon.com slash ben bankers right now and sign up five bucks a month and the next podcast i think

00:31:00.680 will probably do from uh poughkeepsie with armin and ari it'll be fun see you guys on patreon you can

00:31:11.100 join for free by the way and then like see what like you know it's not like you don't get access to

00:31:15.680 anything but you can join and see all the posts and it'll make you want to you know actually join

00:31:22.260 all right so thank you guys good night

Bankas Podcast - May 21, 2025

Minneapolis & Philly Recap ｜ Bankas Podcast - #094

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