Bankas Podcast - May 28, 2025


Bed Ridden with Armin Arbabi & Ari Shield ｜ Bankas Podcast - #095


Episode Stats


Length

38 minutes

Words per minute

144.66321

Word count

5,584

Sentence count

237

Harmful content

Misogyny

82

sentences flagged

Toxicity

373

sentences flagged

Hate speech

83

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

A police officer refuses to smoke weed in front of a black woman, a woman who wants to play basketball, and a man who thinks Muslims should be shot if they are not white. Also, we talk about why you should not be allowed to have a glass of milk with a snake in it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Welcome to Calling for a Muslim Genocide, episode 456 of The Bankist Show, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99
00:00:17.580 Today we are talking about why if you are from another country, you should not exist. 1.00
00:00:23.700 If you are not a white, you should be shot. 1.00
00:00:26.240 Anyway, guys, Boston, two shows tonight. 1.00
00:00:33.700 Really hope nothing bad happens.
00:00:37.220 Wonder why I have the highest security for every show.
00:00:41.380 What are my bids not aligning?
00:00:43.880 With the Human Rights Tribunal.
00:00:49.000 No, we're here. We're in Boston, in the room, tucked in with Ari.
00:00:56.240 The police officer just refuses to smoke weed.
00:01:04.020 He takes the weirdest inhale of the secondhand smoke.
00:01:08.860 Which is probably worse for you, huh?
00:01:11.620 Or a cigarette smoke.
00:01:14.500 Secondhand.
00:01:14.940 I think you should have a cigarette.
00:01:18.660 I think you should have a cigarette. Why not? Have one.
00:01:21.220 I had a coughing fit in the last podcast when I said the N-word and I was just...
00:01:27.520 It's from cigarettes.
00:01:28.880 Yeah, let's just say his name and address and social security number.
00:01:33.460 Yeah, when a good friend...
00:01:34.660 Yeah, when a good friend that's professional and has a career...
00:01:38.080 Let's say that he said the worst word you could say.
00:01:43.280 It's a good ad for Patreon.
00:01:45.040 It is a good ad.
00:01:46.120 This is pool jacked.
00:01:53.180 I want to see Caitlin Clark say the N-word so bad.
00:01:56.100 She says it.
00:01:57.560 Does she?
00:01:58.220 She has to. Are you kidding?
00:01:59.780 The amount of times...
00:02:00.320 That's how she has to ask for them to pass the ball? 0.95
00:02:02.640 Well, I think that's just how she can do it. 1.00
00:02:05.660 I'm open, I'm open. 1.00
00:02:06.840 Fuck it. 1.00
00:02:07.240 I think that's like her free throw ritual. 1.00
00:02:09.460 She just whispers it under her breath and bangs it home. 1.00
00:02:12.300 That's why all these black female players are trying to fuck her up. 1.00
00:02:15.940 But Brittany Griner is definitely not like a woman even, I don't even think. 1.00
00:02:20.600 No, no, she's like trans now, no? 1.00
00:02:22.300 She got her tits removed. 1.00
00:02:24.280 Yeah. 1.00
00:02:24.520 Something happened to her in that Russian prison.
00:02:27.640 Like something...
00:02:28.520 Yeah, they made her straight again.
00:02:32.840 She has a deeper voice than any of us.
00:02:35.960 Definitely you.
00:02:36.700 Yeah.
00:02:38.180 Brittany Griner?
00:02:39.220 Yeah, they have a voice.
00:02:39.960 I can't smoke any weed.
00:02:41.300 My name's Ari Shield of Alvin and the Chip Monks.
00:02:46.760 Alvin and the IDF Monks. 0.75
00:02:50.320 Why do you look like Alvin from Alvin and the Chip Monks?
00:02:53.480 You look like the Hebrew Alvin. 1.00
00:02:58.740 See, if you smoked weed, you'd be able to riff with it and not just take it personally. 0.92
00:03:02.100 You're so Jewish, you haven't even seen that movie because your parents wouldn't let you 1.00
00:03:05.660 watch non-Jewish films as a kid. 0.98
00:03:07.540 It's probably not kosher to see like a chipmunk enjoy life. 1.00
00:03:10.360 You can't watch a chipmunk and have a glass of milk at the same time.
00:03:13.840 You can't watch a Dream Monks film.
00:03:15.960 Otherwise, you'll end up in the next October 7th.
00:03:18.260 That's when that movie was released.
00:03:20.920 I did everything right and I still died on October 7th.
00:03:23.040 That's when that movie was released, October 7th, 2006.
00:03:25.520 All the people on the October 7th who died, they probably thought, at least I didn't have
00:03:30.380 a piece of bacon in my life.
00:03:34.640 Glad I did that so I could be chased down by a Hamas. 1.00
00:03:37.400 There is a shot in the head. 0.83
00:03:39.920 But at least I never had a glass of milk with a snake.
00:03:42.660 Yeah, I know.
00:03:43.220 You came here and you immediately ate like a leftover chicken sandwich.
00:03:46.940 That can't be kosher.
00:03:48.180 No, it's not kosher.
00:03:50.100 Leftovers in general?
00:03:51.560 No, the chicken sandwich.
00:03:53.280 Leftovers are kosher.
00:03:54.560 Why isn't chicken sandwich kosher?
00:03:56.380 Because it's from Burger King.
00:03:57.340 There was mayonnaise on it.
00:03:58.040 Because it's Burger King.
00:03:59.100 What do you mean because it's Burger King?
00:04:00.440 Because it's not like killed in the right way.
00:04:02.420 It's not like a kosher chicken.
00:04:05.880 Listen, kid, I'll tell you what's kosher and what's not kosher. 0.53
00:04:09.120 A Burger King burger?
00:04:10.940 That's kosher.
00:04:11.460 That's kosher if it's 2 a.m. 0.94
00:04:13.360 and you just lost $900 at the Venetian.
00:04:16.940 On slots.
00:04:17.820 You don't do slots?
00:04:24.160 You don't gamble, no.
00:04:25.580 Have you ever gambled?
00:04:26.240 I like to play like the poker games at the tables.
00:04:29.760 You know how to play poker?
00:04:31.160 Yeah.
00:04:32.820 Like four-card poker.
00:04:34.700 Let It Ride.
00:04:35.420 You ever play Let It Ride?
00:04:37.700 What are these weird Jewish games in the 70s? 0.99
00:04:38.940 They had that there in the 70s.
00:04:40.460 Did they really?
00:04:41.160 Yeah.
00:04:41.520 What's Let It Ride?
00:04:43.040 What is it?
00:04:43.700 It's like you get three cards or something, and then you try to build a hand.
00:04:52.440 Let me explain Let It Ride.
00:04:54.080 Yeah.
00:04:54.540 That's what we just asked you, Brian.
00:04:55.800 I don't remember.
00:04:56.580 I haven't played in a while.
00:04:57.340 But I won $1,000 playing Let It Ride in Vegas.
00:05:01.320 Really?
00:05:01.940 The greatest night of my life.
00:05:02.860 $1,000.
00:05:03.820 I still have it.
00:05:07.380 I used it to plant trees in Israel.
00:05:09.480 The best night of my life.
00:05:10.360 I sent it to the IDF.
00:05:13.740 Plant trees in Israel.
00:05:15.380 Yeah. 1.00
00:05:15.640 What the fuck, dude? 1.00
00:05:16.640 Did you really? 1.00
00:05:17.340 What are those?
00:05:18.040 Of course not.
00:05:19.700 Well, I don't know.
00:05:20.360 What did you spend it on?
00:05:21.460 Do you remember?
00:05:22.240 Yeah.
00:05:22.480 I spent it on personal training.
00:05:25.000 Oh, yeah.
00:05:25.460 It worked out.
00:05:25.940 It looked great.
00:05:28.600 Should have went to Toiki. 0.99
00:05:30.140 Oh, come on, dude.
00:05:33.820 I want to go to Turkey, but now that's like the Hamas headquarters. 0.98
00:05:37.820 Scary stuff.
00:05:39.040 They're not after you.
00:05:40.080 They went to you to get your hair cut so you can pay for Hamas. 0.98
00:05:44.900 Yeah. 0.97
00:05:46.340 Hamas is just funded by bald Jewish guys. 0.99
00:05:51.180 I mean, they're killing Jews, but am I supposed to not have hair? 1.00
00:05:55.760 Planting some trees in my forehead. 0.98
00:06:01.520 Dude, you're planting trees. 0.99
00:06:03.240 I'm not going to be a dick, but I don't know. 0.69
00:06:05.400 The haircut you had when you came to do Ben's shows in Toronto was a lot better than this
00:06:09.560 one.
00:06:09.780 Did you go to a different guy?
00:06:11.160 No, I went to the same guy.
00:06:12.260 I asked for the exact same thing. 1.00
00:06:13.620 Damn. 0.99
00:06:16.100 Make me look like I'm on the front lines against the- 1.00
00:06:18.700 Is he Jewish?
00:06:19.380 War on there.
00:06:20.440 Okay.
00:06:21.240 Is it the guy you took me to?
00:06:22.860 Yeah.
00:06:23.600 Who is this guy?
00:06:24.340 He gives you a shot of whiskey.
00:06:26.120 Yeah.
00:06:26.460 It's pretty good.
00:06:27.420 Oh, okay.
00:06:28.240 I thought it was going to be an old man. 0.97
00:06:29.660 Then he tells you that he's Jewish.
00:06:31.440 And ruins it.
00:06:32.080 Yeah.
00:06:33.660 And then he smacks you with a-
00:06:36.240 Torah?
00:06:38.260 Or a towel.
00:06:40.320 Oh.
00:06:41.120 Oh.
00:06:42.620 Does a little towel play.
00:06:45.760 Yeah.
00:06:47.500 Old Bukharian guy. 0.93
00:06:49.140 I feel like this guy's molested Ari before. 0.59
00:06:52.560 That's why I go there.
00:06:54.020 The towel.
00:06:54.800 I feel like Ari's been molested a lot. 1.00
00:06:56.760 He's been molested on this podcast.
00:06:58.760 Just verbally.
00:07:00.580 Verbally molested.
00:07:03.000 Wait till the camera's off. 0.65
00:07:04.840 Patreon. 0.83
00:07:06.100 I rape Ari's shield. 1.00
00:07:07.580 What's verbal molest? 0.97
00:07:09.720 This?
00:07:11.020 This isn't verbal molestation.
00:07:12.680 This is like-
00:07:13.340 Verbal molestation would be like, 1.00
00:07:14.840 Take your fucking clothes off, 1.00
00:07:16.960 You fucking faggot little cake. 1.00
00:07:19.120 I mean, that was the last one. 1.00
00:07:20.420 That was the last one.
00:07:23.380 He's not wrong. 0.53
00:07:24.980 He is Jewish.
00:07:26.580 He's correct.
00:07:27.240 That's a lawyer thing to do. 1.00
00:07:28.840 He was correct.
00:07:29.840 You did make him take his shirt off.
00:07:31.380 In this episode.
00:07:32.420 Oh yeah.
00:07:33.000 I'm taking my shirt off.
00:07:34.260 Welcome to Pool Jacked,
00:07:36.840 Episode 1,
00:07:37.640 Molestation of Ari's shield.
00:07:40.200 Exhibit A.
00:07:42.660 The molestation. 0.95
00:07:45.260 The rape. 0.98
00:07:46.680 Of Ari's shield.
00:07:48.880 Live.
00:07:50.000 In Boston.
00:07:51.620 Bent over.
00:07:52.880 A bed in a nondescript hotel room. 1.00
00:07:58.620 Would you get raped for show business? 1.00
00:08:01.020 No. 1.00
00:08:01.160 No, there's no gig that you would take.
00:08:04.140 Like if someone guaranteed you'd be like Matt, right? 0.99
00:08:06.560 If you wouldn't get raped? 0.99
00:08:08.120 Nah. 1.00
00:08:09.260 I might like, I don't know, 0.92
00:08:10.480 Tickle some balls or something. 0.66
00:08:12.680 Something that wouldn't like- 0.98
00:08:13.520 Come here.
00:08:14.020 Yeah.
00:08:19.520 I don't even-
00:08:20.420 Yeah, definitely not my-
00:08:21.100 Set it on camera.
00:08:22.220 We got it.
00:08:23.060 We got it.
00:08:24.080 That's consent.
00:08:25.140 That's consent.
00:08:26.460 I would like-
00:08:26.960 I would probably,
00:08:27.540 If you told me like,
00:08:28.800 I could make like millions of dollars
00:08:30.700 And showbiz, 0.91
00:08:31.560 If I just like jerk somebody off, 0.90
00:08:32.880 I'd probably do that. 0.98
00:08:33.600 That somehow feels gayer 0.99
00:08:35.060 Than just getting raped. 0.96
00:08:36.300 Nah. 1.00
00:08:36.660 The funny part about that is like,
00:08:38.220 You still need talent.
00:08:42.500 So mean. 1.00
00:08:43.900 So you're not even worth getting raped. 1.00
00:08:45.300 Who do I jerk off? 1.00
00:08:46.520 Eh, kid, 1.00
00:08:47.000 You're not funny enough to jerk me off. 0.98
00:08:48.440 Kid, 1.00
00:08:48.680 You're not even worth getting raped. 1.00
00:08:51.220 If I raped you, 1.00
00:08:51.900 I'd be wasting it. 1.00
00:08:53.920 Wasting it on someone 1.00
00:08:54.680 Who deserves to be raped. 1.00
00:08:55.800 Yeah, no, they all act like, 1.00
00:08:56.940 Everybody acts like,
00:08:57.660 It's like all those women in Hollywood 1.00
00:08:58.800 That like blew Harvey Weinstein
00:09:00.340 And they all act like,
00:09:01.940 Oh, well, yeah,
00:09:02.980 They just blew him
00:09:03.860 And got the show.
00:09:04.580 It's like,
00:09:04.740 They were all so talented.
00:09:06.040 Dude, have you seen the-
00:09:07.000 And hot.
00:09:07.600 Yeah, have you seen the memes recently
00:09:09.020 Where it's like,
00:09:10.080 That's the reason we have so many 0.99
00:09:11.320 Like ugly actresses 1.00
00:09:12.440 Is because he stopped raping 1.00
00:09:13.860 And now it's like, 0.86
00:09:14.540 It's coming back
00:09:15.240 Where people are like, 0.97
00:09:15.860 We need Hollywood with rape. 1.00
00:09:17.660 Harvey Weinstein needs to redo 0.98
00:09:19.500 Snow White and Little Mermaid.
00:09:21.540 First of all,
00:09:22.120 Little Mermaid
00:09:22.840 Isn't even hot. 0.54
00:09:26.320 Like, she's not a hot black. 1.00
00:09:27.680 She's like, 0.81
00:09:28.280 Her eyes are like,
00:09:29.500 She's got like dolphin head. 1.00
00:09:32.900 It's authentic mermaid.
00:09:34.180 Yeah, I guess so.
00:09:35.380 Looks like a fish. 1.00
00:09:36.060 We need an ugly black woman 1.00
00:09:37.700 Who looks like a fish 1.00
00:09:38.860 To play the mermaid. 0.98
00:09:40.620 Can you guys bring in a black woman 1.00
00:09:41.880 That looks like she was trapped
00:09:42.820 At Marine Land? 0.99
00:09:43.520 There's so many fucking attractive 1.00
00:09:45.340 White women that could have played Ariel 1.00
00:09:47.420 And just been like,
00:09:48.940 It's like,
00:09:49.740 Why? 0.94
00:09:51.020 Because the black girl 1.00
00:09:52.780 Who played the mermaid, 0.99
00:09:54.880 She's not even going to be
00:09:56.260 Like, nothing is going to come of that.
00:09:59.740 You know what I mean?
00:10:00.400 It's just a waste of a role.
00:10:01.840 I know.
00:10:02.160 Where you're going to just put
00:10:02.920 The hottest white chick ever 1.00
00:10:04.040 And she would have been famous forever.
00:10:05.540 Exactly.
00:10:05.900 Yeah.
00:10:06.240 Well, that's the problem.
00:10:07.220 I think everyone kind of knows
00:10:08.500 And not Sydney Sweeney.
00:10:10.300 Oh, come on. 1.00
00:10:11.280 Not fucking any of these fake hot 1.00
00:10:13.540 Sydney Sweeney's fake hot? 1.00
00:10:15.240 She is fake hot, bro. 1.00
00:10:16.420 She looks like a retard elf. 1.00
00:10:18.060 No. 0.99
00:10:18.500 She looks like Dumbo.
00:10:24.120 No, she doesn't.
00:10:25.180 Sydney Sweeney is not attractive, bro.
00:10:28.600 Then who's attractive?
00:10:31.420 The cartoon Ariel.
00:10:37.120 The drawing.
00:10:38.620 The pure white on paper.
00:10:40.980 Paper white.
00:10:43.100 A sheet of paper.
00:10:44.560 It was an attractive thing in the world.
00:10:47.220 The original Snow White was hot.
00:10:49.920 It's a cartoon.
00:10:54.660 What do you think of it?
00:10:55.440 No, like Jessica Alba was hot 1.00
00:10:57.180 When she was like at her prime.
00:10:58.480 Yeah, she was.
00:10:58.760 She was bad.
00:10:59.420 She was way hotter than 1.00
00:11:00.660 Fucking Sydney Sweeney. 1.00
00:11:01.780 Sydney Sweeney just looks like 1.00
00:11:02.820 Frumpy, fat tit retard. 1.00
00:11:04.740 It might be a generational thing 1.00
00:11:06.100 Because maybe it's because
00:11:06.800 Sydney Sweeney's like 1.00
00:11:07.820 Oh, fuck. 1.00
00:11:08.460 We said we weren't going to talk shit. 1.00
00:11:09.880 So we're not talking shit. 0.99
00:11:11.660 I just said that 0.99
00:11:12.400 Sydney Sweeney was a frumpy 0.83
00:11:13.740 Well, yeah, she's going to see
00:11:15.840 Dumbo
00:11:16.440 Looking
00:11:17.540 Oh my God
00:11:18.320 Ben Bankus will not be on
00:11:19.540 Season 3 of Euphoria
00:11:20.620 He will not be in an
00:11:22.340 A24 film
00:11:23.220 He will not go
00:11:23.760 Come on, bro
00:11:26.420 We're three guys
00:11:27.720 I should be in an A24
00:11:28.860 You should
00:11:29.800 Somebody just ruined it
00:11:32.100 Well
00:11:33.000 Guys
00:11:33.920 That's been
00:11:34.860 The Bankus Show
00:11:35.720 That's been
00:11:39.580 The Monetized
00:11:40.340 With Ben Bankus
00:11:41.220 That's been
00:11:44.280 Throwing away my career
00:11:45.480 Every day
00:11:46.120 In front of a camera
00:11:47.080 For three years
00:11:49.200 Half of these women 1.00
00:11:52.840 They're not even hot enough 1.00
00:11:53.880 To get raped 1.00
00:11:54.600 They got no talent 1.00
00:11:55.980 What are you going to do with it 1.00
00:11:56.660 You got raped 0.99
00:11:57.100 Then what? 1.00
00:11:57.960 Get a rape kid 1.00
00:11:58.520 Go home 1.00
00:11:58.960 Hey, great
00:11:59.660 Congrats
00:12:00.840 Good job
00:12:02.060 Hey, you did JFL
00:12:03.020 Click the clap
00:12:04.020 Alright, what do you think?
00:12:07.200 You going to keep staring off
00:12:08.100 Like you just came back
00:12:08.820 From Iraq 1.00
00:12:09.420 Fuck, man 1.00
00:12:10.780 Holy shit 1.00
00:12:12.220 Slap, smile 1.00
00:12:13.500 Add something
00:12:14.180 He's chewing gum
00:12:15.800 And drinking coffee 1.00
00:12:16.620 Like a fucking mental patient 1.00
00:12:18.120 You like have the 1.00
00:12:21.180 You have the energy
00:12:22.620 Of a guy
00:12:23.260 Who like is like
00:12:23.980 Waiting to
00:12:24.740 Talk about his
00:12:25.580 Speeding ticket
00:12:26.240 To the police
00:12:26.980 Yeah, you're like
00:12:29.720 In civil court 1.00
00:12:30.800 The fuck, man 1.00
00:12:33.520 What do you think 1.00
00:12:35.920 About Sydney Sweeney?
00:12:36.900 She's hot 1.00
00:12:37.540 Get this kid 1.00
00:12:40.400 The fuck out of my room 1.00
00:12:41.320 This is like 1.00
00:12:42.100 Asking your like
00:12:42.900 16 year old cousin
00:12:43.980 Like questions
00:12:44.700 Like what do you think
00:12:45.320 Of that?
00:12:45.560 He's like
00:12:45.800 I don't know
00:12:46.200 I like it
00:12:46.860 No, Sydney
00:12:48.180 Okay, she's obviously
00:12:49.380 Like she's hot 1.00
00:12:50.620 But like
00:12:51.020 I get what you're saying
00:12:52.640 She's not
00:12:53.220 Like beautiful
00:12:54.780 Like you know
00:12:55.740 She's a normal looking
00:12:57.980 Blonde chick 1.00
00:12:58.580 With big tits 1.00
00:12:59.540 And weird ears 1.00
00:13:02.940 Like she has
00:13:03.680 Dumbbell ears
00:13:04.420 Oh, come on
00:13:04.800 Dude, you're looking
00:13:05.300 Who looks at a girl's ears? 1.00
00:13:08.420 Yo, I won't fuck you 1.00
00:13:09.460 Because of those ears 1.00
00:13:10.380 How dare you?
00:13:12.960 Imagine the hottest girl ever
00:13:14.220 But with Ari's ears
00:13:15.580 Gargoyles 1.00
00:13:19.400 Make me cum 0.99
00:13:20.180 Oh my god 1.00
00:13:21.660 Imagine the hottest girl ever
00:13:23.140 But it's just Ari Shield
00:13:24.120 On his knees
00:13:25.760 Oh my god
00:13:28.740 Ari 0.99
00:13:30.060 Ari 1.00
00:13:30.680 I want you to eat my ass 1.00
00:13:31.940 You didn't have to do that 1.00
00:13:32.980 For the 10 minute spot
00:13:34.120 But I liked it
00:13:36.820 We wouldn't do 1.00
00:13:38.160 Ate my ass 1.00
00:13:39.620 Oh 1.00
00:13:40.100 Have you ever eaten ass? 1.00
00:13:45.180 Dirty bank of this 1.00
00:13:46.180 Yeah 0.97
00:13:46.740 Is that kosher?
00:13:48.680 Yeah
00:13:49.080 I don't know
00:13:49.420 That's a good question
00:13:50.180 If you sing
00:13:52.220 Having a gila
00:13:52.860 While doing it
00:13:53.420 Is kosher
00:13:53.920 You put a
00:13:54.960 Yeah, you know when they say 1.00
00:14:06.940 Like when you eat pussy 1.00
00:14:07.800 You should like 1.00
00:14:08.300 Use your tongue
00:14:08.800 To make the alphabet
00:14:09.420 He like
00:14:10.060 Does the first few pages
00:14:11.400 Of the Torah 0.55
00:14:12.020 Gobbledy goop
00:14:17.440 This guy's eating ice
00:14:18.400 This guy's eating ice
00:14:19.880 Into the mic
00:14:20.580 He's in the waiting room
00:14:22.720 In an SED clinic case
00:14:23.980 No, seriously
00:14:24.520 You're like
00:14:24.980 Just watch your girl
00:14:25.940 Get an abortion
00:14:26.680 Vibes
00:14:28.560 What is this vibe, dude?
00:14:30.560 I don't know
00:14:30.860 I'm just having fun
00:14:31.700 Listening to you guys
00:14:32.880 Yeah, we're doing a thing
00:14:35.740 Where if you want to just
00:14:36.580 Sit and listen to the
00:14:37.680 Potted person live
00:14:38.960 Yeah, we're actually
00:14:40.360 Selling tickets to
00:14:41.380 To our hotel room
00:14:43.000 Six tickets available
00:14:44.400 Sitting here
00:14:46.600 That would actually
00:14:47.340 Be kind of funny
00:14:47.980 That would be so
00:14:48.780 People probably would
00:14:49.560 Didn't we do that
00:14:50.420 Just charge like
00:14:51.100 150 bucks a ticket
00:14:52.360 What was that
00:14:52.820 We were in London
00:14:53.560 When that happened
00:14:54.300 There was some guy
00:14:54.960 That came and sat
00:14:55.960 Like on the edge
00:14:56.640 Of my bed
00:14:57.280 For like 10 minutes
00:14:58.680 And he was like
00:14:59.500 Anyways, boys
00:15:00.340 I just want to say
00:15:00.880 I thought you guys
00:15:01.440 Were really funny tonight
00:15:02.460 And a big fan
00:15:03.520 You were like
00:15:04.420 We were going to have 1.00
00:15:05.500 Sex with that man 0.99
00:15:06.820 Sidney Sweeney is not 0.98
00:15:09.820 Taunt
00:15:10.040 Wasn't it a comic?
00:15:11.320 No
00:15:11.680 It was just some guy
00:15:12.800 That came to the show
00:15:13.760 I swear it was a
00:15:14.580 Comedian though
00:15:15.280 Who didn't get on
00:15:16.300 Maybe
00:15:17.460 Maybe I'm remembering
00:15:18.340 It wrong
00:15:18.780 But
00:15:19.120 I hope it was
00:15:21.180 A guy
00:15:21.780 Random guy
00:15:22.560 I come to the room
00:15:24.800 Sidney Sweeney's not hot
00:15:25.840 Because I wish she was
00:15:26.540 A man 1.00
00:15:27.540 She's got no cock 1.00
00:15:30.200 And balls 1.00
00:15:30.820 What am I supposed 1.00
00:15:32.020 To suck on 1.00
00:15:32.540 Those big tits 1.00
00:15:33.280 Disgusting 1.00
00:15:34.180 I mean 0.99
00:15:39.920 I'm just saying 0.98
00:15:40.520 She's no fucking 1.00
00:15:41.240 Nicole Kidman 0.99
00:15:42.160 In her prime 1.00
00:15:42.840 She's no fucking 1.00
00:15:44.060 She's no Gwyneth Paltrow 1.00
00:15:45.620 Gwyneth Paltrow is bad
00:15:47.000 They're all way
00:15:48.080 More attractive than her
00:15:49.340 She's not going to
00:15:50.920 Look good old
00:15:51.580 Yeah
00:15:52.660 Those things will sag
00:15:53.760 But she gets
00:15:55.340 That's like a thing
00:15:56.260 Girls my age
00:15:57.000 Get Botox really young
00:15:58.280 So that they like
00:15:59.080 They won't
00:16:00.080 They don't age as much
00:16:01.060 Sidney
00:16:05.060 Sweeney
00:16:06.820 She's not even
00:16:08.620 In any movies
00:16:09.300 Good movies
00:16:09.900 She's not even
00:16:10.240 A good actress
00:16:11.000 Yeah I know
00:16:12.020 That's because she was 0.96
00:16:12.520 The girl that took 1.00
00:16:13.060 Her tits on 1.00
00:16:13.540 Euphoria 1.00
00:16:13.920 That's her career 0.99
00:16:14.620 Tits
00:16:15.620 I know
00:16:17.880 But she shouldn't
00:16:18.740 Be
00:16:19.520 We need more
00:16:22.500 Black mermaids 0.98
00:16:23.800 Black women 1.00
00:16:24.680 I want to see a black woman 1.00
00:16:26.680 Take her hair off 1.00
00:16:27.620 That's better than
00:16:28.940 Sidney Sweeney
00:16:29.520 Isn't it
00:16:30.000 Take your hair off
00:16:31.860 Do you like when
00:16:32.760 Dust comes out of
00:16:34.020 A wig 1.00
00:16:34.960 And the fucking 1.00
00:16:35.760 Then you got 1.00
00:16:37.300 The ashy neck
00:16:38.920 You don't like that
00:16:40.320 You don't like 0.99
00:16:41.720 When black women 1.00
00:16:43.100 Have acne 0.99
00:16:43.620 And it's just
00:16:44.080 Black scars
00:16:45.420 On the face
00:16:46.060 You don't like that
00:16:47.000 Welcome to
00:16:50.800 Bank's podcast
00:16:51.960 Welcome to
00:16:54.200 Pool podcast
00:16:55.200 Ben Jacked
00:16:56.880 This podcast
00:16:58.600 About
00:16:59.080 Going to the pool
00:17:00.280 We review
00:17:04.300 Above ground
00:17:05.040 Pools
00:17:05.800 With our guest
00:17:08.620 Ari Shield
00:17:09.260 The esteemed Jew
00:17:10.520 From New York
00:17:11.800 Tell us what it's like
00:17:13.040 Being Jewish
00:17:13.760 In the center of Jewish 1.00
00:17:14.800 It's the best bro
00:17:16.420 Controlling everything
00:17:19.160 You're like
00:17:22.960 Adding to this pod
00:17:23.800 Like a dude
00:17:24.320 Bombing on a hinge date
00:17:25.440 One word answers
00:17:27.320 No questions
00:17:29.100 I mean this has been
00:17:31.020 The dynamic
00:17:31.780 For the entire time
00:17:32.980 We've been hanging out
00:17:34.200 So
00:17:34.480 I'm suddenly going to
00:17:36.060 Turn into a guy
00:17:36.720 That talks
00:17:37.180 That doesn't stop talking
00:17:38.040 Because there's a microphone
00:17:38.840 In front of me
00:17:39.340 You want me to change
00:17:39.740 My whole personality
00:17:40.540 Yeah I thought you were
00:17:42.680 A different guy
00:17:43.240 I guess this isn't
00:17:45.460 Working out
00:17:45.900 You're fine
00:17:46.220 I do think
00:17:46.660 You were a different guy
00:17:48.120 For the first like
00:17:48.940 Two years
00:17:51.040 That we knew you
00:17:51.660 Because he's been
00:17:52.600 Stopping smoking weed
00:17:54.040 In the last four days
00:17:55.180 You've been a little
00:17:56.020 Sober
00:17:57.180 Not smoking weed
00:17:59.620 You're just
00:18:00.060 You're becoming more Zionist 1.00
00:18:01.580 Maybe 0.93
00:18:02.300 You look so scary
00:18:05.440 Yeah dude
00:18:06.040 You look angry
00:18:06.960 I'm not angry
00:18:08.020 I'm not
00:18:09.200 I don't deeply
00:18:11.220 Resent you
00:18:12.600 For your success
00:18:13.620 And
00:18:14.260 Get
00:18:15.220 Feel
00:18:15.740 Insecure
00:18:16.580 That
00:18:17.040 My father's
00:18:18.320 400 years old
00:18:19.380 And I
00:18:19.900 Sleep on his floor
00:18:21.560 You think I resent
00:18:25.320 Your success
00:18:26.100 Oh my god
00:18:27.120 We've opened up a cast
00:18:28.140 No I mean
00:18:29.840 I'm grateful to be here 0.97
00:18:30.840 This is fucking awesome 0.97
00:18:31.700 You're fine 0.99
00:18:32.780 Are you grateful 0.99
00:18:34.600 God damn it 1.00
00:18:35.840 You're fucking fine 1.00
00:18:36.800 God damn it 0.99
00:18:37.560 How fucking grateful are you 1.00
00:18:39.040 Who would you get on your knees 1.00
00:18:40.760 And show me
00:18:41.200 Name my top three bits go
00:18:42.340 Top three bits
00:18:43.540 Yeah you're fine 0.97
00:18:44.060 God damn it 0.99
00:18:45.280 Name every joke 0.99
00:18:47.300 I've ever told
00:18:47.760 Go
00:18:48.620 Well there's the one
00:18:50.160 Where you just go 1.00
00:18:50.780 Jews are evil 1.00
00:18:51.600 We all know Jews are evil 1.00
00:18:52.900 Why are you spoiling the bits 1.00
00:18:54.160 Now why are you stealing bits
00:18:56.740 On the podcast
00:18:57.220 That's not a bit
00:19:00.120 That's a transition
00:19:01.000 I got that one bit
00:19:05.640 Where you go on stage
00:19:06.280 And you say
00:19:06.640 Happy to be here in Boston
00:19:07.860 It's a tough gig kid
00:19:13.060 Get with the program
00:19:14.560 Long way to the top
00:19:18.080 And then once you're at the top
00:19:19.280 You gotta hang out with people like you
00:19:20.580 I know
00:19:21.100 Welcome to the abuse my friend podcast
00:19:29.360 Where we make ourselves look like 1.00
00:19:33.760 Big pieces of shit 1.00
00:19:35.220 Laying in bed 1.00
00:19:36.640 Wow you really talk to your friends like that 1.00
00:19:40.140 No wonder you're a fat slob racist piece of shit 1.00
00:19:43.940 The podcast is blowing up 1.00
00:19:47.240 I like how it's like
00:19:48.400 You're in the main bed 0.98
00:19:49.900 And then I'm in the shitty 1.00
00:19:51.080 The shitty little bed 0.99
00:19:52.920 Like he's on his way to the main bed 0.99
00:19:54.680 This guy's in a chair
00:19:56.400 One day you'll be there
00:19:57.620 And he'll be here
00:19:58.700 And I'll be in another room
00:19:59.700 He had a pendulum
00:20:00.580 I'll be hanging out with more important people
00:20:03.040 I'll never talk to you again
00:20:03.860 One day we'll sell out every show
00:20:05.460 And then I'll still somehow
00:20:07.140 Force you to sleep in here
00:20:08.700 I mean you only have 150k
00:20:11.800 You gotta sleep in my room
00:20:12.800 Well it's good 0.99
00:20:19.820 There's not that many blacks 1.00
00:20:20.860 Oh shit 1.00
00:20:23.840 That was Vegas podcast 1.00
00:20:24.700 That was shit 0.99
00:20:26.600 Vegas podcast 0.99
00:20:27.420 Back to pool jack 1.00
00:20:28.040 Sidney Sweeney's nipples 1.00
00:20:29.980 She probably has sick nipples 1.00
00:20:32.840 Let's look at them 1.00
00:20:33.620 Ari vamp
00:20:35.860 Vamp while I look up Sidney Sweeney's news
00:20:38.200 What's vamp man
00:20:38.980 What's vamp 1.00
00:20:41.320 Like just fucking 1.00
00:20:42.280 You know 0.99
00:20:42.740 Talk
00:20:43.860 Talk
00:20:45.120 Say something
00:20:45.540 That's a real word
00:20:46.260 It's a real word
00:20:46.860 Yeah
00:20:47.080 It's a new thing
00:20:48.880 Vamp
00:20:49.580 Vamping's been a thing for a minute 1.00
00:20:51.360 Vamp
00:20:52.560 Like vampire
00:20:53.860 Vamping
00:20:54.880 Oh it's vamp
00:20:57.500 I don't know
00:20:58.460 Maybe
00:20:58.640 Vent 1.00
00:20:59.540 You fucking retard 1.00
00:21:01.520 I don't mean vent 1.00
00:21:02.680 Vamp
00:21:03.280 No that's a thing
00:21:04.060 Yo can you vamp it up
00:21:05.060 No that's a thing
00:21:05.920 We're trying to vamp up this 1.00
00:21:07.340 No fuck that 0.99
00:21:08.060 I'm looking this up 0.99
00:21:08.700 It's not
00:21:09.140 Dude there's no such thing as vamp
00:21:10.560 Unless that's some like slang
00:21:12.320 That you just made up
00:21:13.180 Like three weeks ago
00:21:14.080 No no no
00:21:15.120 No
00:21:18.500 Okay Ari keep vamping 1.00
00:21:20.500 Oh this might
00:21:22.560 Yeah maybe
00:21:23.260 I had a schizophrenic episode
00:21:25.520 It's like camping
00:21:26.420 But it's a
00:21:27.080 It's a concentration game
00:21:28.760 Ari vamp
00:21:32.040 Maybe I did
00:21:32.700 Make this up
00:21:33.740 Maybe I am
00:21:35.880 Retard on prison 1.00
00:21:37.800 Is this the future of podcasting
00:21:43.080 This honestly kind of is
00:21:44.640 Yeah
00:21:44.860 It's a guy in a hat 1.00
00:21:46.200 Looking up tits 1.00
00:21:47.060 Look at those 1.00
00:21:48.980 Oh shit 1.00
00:21:50.320 Holy fuck 1.00
00:21:53.040 Her tits were actually out 1.00
00:21:54.160 In the euphoria 0.99
00:21:54.800 Bro yeah
00:21:55.620 Why do you think she's so 1.00
00:21:56.480 Oh my god
00:21:57.120 She's a great actress
00:21:58.120 Deserves awards
00:21:59.780 I guess we agree
00:22:01.640 Well
00:22:02.040 Your wife's gonna get 1.00
00:22:02.720 I might have
00:22:03.440 Well
00:22:04.520 Might have
00:22:05.940 Jumped the gun on
00:22:07.180 I know
00:22:08.200 This guy's like
00:22:08.660 She's just got 1.00
00:22:09.580 Great tits 1.00
00:22:10.860 What's so good about that 0.99
00:22:12.140 It's
00:22:14.020 It's
00:22:14.460 Just watching
00:22:15.300 Okay give me my phone back
00:22:16.780 It's just watching
00:22:18.560 There's a lot of it
00:22:20.040 Yeah
00:22:20.600 What's your back
00:22:22.320 What
00:22:23.520 What are you doing
00:22:25.660 Oh
00:22:25.860 I thought you were going through my texts
00:22:33.260 It's a compilation
00:22:35.000 What do you think of this 0.99
00:22:38.380 Good tits 1.00
00:22:42.660 They are great tits 0.99
00:22:43.920 If Sydney Sweeney walked into this room 0.98
00:22:46.760 What do you think she would say
00:22:47.680 She'd probably say
00:22:54.820 I can't believe you think this is entertainment
00:22:56.860 I've been in movies
00:22:59.140 How dare you
00:23:00.180 Say that I'm ugly 0.95
00:23:02.380 Look at me 1.00
00:23:03.020 You fucking loser 1.00
00:23:03.960 You're in a bed 1.00
00:23:04.880 You're fat 1.00
00:23:05.480 You're nothing 1.00
00:23:08.300 Your show isn't even sold out tonight 1.00
00:23:11.940 You fat fuck 1.00
00:23:14.620 Nobody wants to fuck you 1.00
00:23:17.740 Your wife doesn't even want to fuck you 1.00
00:23:19.120 Oh fuck 1.00
00:23:20.280 Oh 1.00
00:23:21.680 Damn bro 1.00
00:23:22.960 Even if you were a millionaire 1.00
00:23:24.200 And the best comedian 1.00
00:23:24.960 And the best fucking actor in Hollywood 1.00
00:23:26.540 I still wouldn't suck you 1.00
00:23:27.320 That is why I resent her 0.99
00:23:35.140 Because I made up this whole scenario
00:23:36.460 In my head
00:23:36.960 Of what she may say to me
00:23:38.220 And I do not like it
00:23:39.380 She might though
00:23:41.640 What if she
00:23:42.480 Where's she coming here 1.00
00:23:43.380 And be like
00:23:43.700 Oh my god
00:23:44.040 Is that Ben Banker
00:23:44.660 Imagine
00:23:46.580 That'd be sick 0.86
00:23:47.540 I'm just sitting here
00:23:48.760 I get to watch 1.00
00:23:49.020 You the guy who farts and shits 1.00
00:23:50.360 Says the N-Wood 1.00
00:23:52.640 So hot
00:23:55.200 You're my favorite comedian 0.76
00:23:58.260 You're the farting 1.00
00:23:59.060 Shitting 1.00
00:23:59.420 Fat 1.00
00:24:00.920 Chinese accent 0.97
00:24:04.480 If you do the Chinese accent right now 1.00
00:24:07.100 I'll suck your dick 1.00
00:24:07.720 Welcome to Pool's Act 1.00
00:24:15.320 We did it
00:24:18.440 We've created a new podcast
00:24:20.200 We did a podcast
00:24:21.080 Where Ben doesn't crash out about his reel
00:24:22.660 Figured out a way to talk to a Bernal 0.99
00:24:25.240 Without bringing up his reel
00:24:27.600 Bro I haven't
00:24:31.440 I haven't
00:24:32.000 I woke up this morning to you
00:24:34.040 It is funny how there was like a period
00:24:36.560 Where I'd just be doing a regular podcast
00:24:38.280 And I'd be like
00:24:38.780 The fake babies that they're showing
00:24:46.620 Holding up is a doll
00:24:47.920 It's not a real baby
00:24:48.940 They're not dead 1.00
00:24:51.060 They're fucking dolls 1.00
00:24:52.260 Just telling all your Gentile fans 1.00
00:24:55.060 Subscribe to this
00:24:56.660 You watching the podcast bro?
00:25:02.700 Just in the meet and greet
00:25:03.960 You gotta check it out
00:25:06.640 You ever see CNN?
00:25:09.460 It's kind of like that 0.99
00:25:10.080 You ever see fucking Wolf Blitzer? 0.99
00:25:14.840 This is Ben Blitzer 1.00
00:25:15.740 Ben Blankets
00:25:18.840 Jesse Waters
00:25:21.340 You got Jesse Waters
00:25:24.520 Then you got Bankist Podcast
00:25:25.620 Ben the host of a podcast
00:25:28.060 That has changed names more times
00:25:29.980 Than he has viewers
00:25:30.920 Look if we change the name
00:25:34.960 They will not find out
00:25:35.860 That I'm talking about Israel 0.66
00:25:36.760 In episode 56 of Pool Jacked
00:25:41.400 For some reason
00:25:42.140 Ben was ranting
00:25:43.240 And had a
00:25:43.760 By himself
00:25:46.740 He had a completely different logo
00:25:48.180 In the background
00:25:48.840 And he was saying the Edward
00:25:51.040 Saying the Edward
00:25:53.600 The Edward
00:25:55.160 That world game
00:25:55.880 That guy probably hates Kansai so much
00:26:00.040 I was at first 1.00
00:26:02.580 Oh shit 0.99
00:26:06.600 Broke the rule again 1.00
00:26:07.820 Welcome back to Bankist Podcast
00:26:10.140 Welcome to Bankist Podcast
00:26:11.220 Where he tells everyone
00:26:12.140 To do the things that he does 1.00
00:26:13.360 Don't you dare talk shit 0.99
00:26:15.840 About anybody 0.99
00:26:16.420 Anybody 0.76
00:26:16.800 Sidney Swinney is gross 0.98
00:26:18.000 And this guy is Chinese 0.99
00:26:19.300 There was a Chinese comedian
00:26:22.360 That almost won
00:26:23.120 A million dollars in Canada
00:26:25.820 And he hates me
00:26:28.540 And he stole my bit
00:26:29.560 He stole multiple bits of mine
00:26:31.320 He recently stole the bit
00:26:34.620 Where I did the thing
00:26:35.980 Like he did it on
00:26:37.020 Where I talk about Olivia Chow
00:26:40.920 Really?
00:26:42.300 I know
00:26:42.660 I know he's talking about Olivia Chow
00:26:44.680 No he's just talking about like
00:26:46.360 He's using the joke
00:26:47.500 I don't want to spoil the joke
00:26:48.860 Right okay okay
00:26:49.660 Tell me after that
00:26:50.320 He's just like saying the joke
00:26:51.560 I don't care
00:26:57.520 He can steal my whole act 0.98
00:26:58.560 I don't give a fuck 0.99
00:26:59.280 You should make tea kettles 0.99
00:27:01.640 When the water boils
00:27:02.780 It just goes
00:27:03.260 Makes the noise
00:27:05.660 It goes 1.00
00:27:06.140 Here you say the fucking like race 1.00
00:27:14.680 And I'll do the most racist accent 1.00
00:27:16.140 I can of the race 0.97
00:27:17.360 Somalia
00:27:17.840 Okay next
00:27:24.380 Mongolian 0.69
00:27:25.940 Russian
00:27:33.420 Mexican 1.00
00:27:39.800 So fucked 1.00
00:27:56.580 Next 1.00
00:27:59.960 Ari throw one in there 1.00
00:28:01.860 Australian
00:28:02.480 Australian
00:28:02.660 Australian
00:28:02.700 It's all the same
00:28:09.380 You throw me a race
00:28:12.540 I'll do the same
00:28:13.240 Noice
00:28:14.080 Hello
00:28:14.460 French
00:28:21.240 I said the most racist
00:28:30.640 To be fair
00:28:31.280 It's fair 0.56
00:28:32.100 It's fair 0.56
00:28:32.680 Chinese
00:28:34.060 We're gonna make a million dollars
00:28:45.380 Welcome to the pool jack
00:28:48.240 Where's the pool 1.00
00:28:50.020 The fuck is pool jack 1.00
00:28:51.760 You guys are repeating that 1.00
00:28:53.100 You don't know what pool jack is
00:28:54.940 What is that
00:28:55.440 Explain it
00:28:56.840 So when Ben was doing commercial real estate
00:28:59.880 He had like a work trip to Vegas
00:29:02.620 They took his company to Vegas
00:29:03.940 And then one of the like head partners
00:29:05.600 Or senior sales guys
00:29:07.740 Was just like
00:29:08.400 Look bankers
00:29:09.100 Look at me
00:29:09.420 Pool jacked 0.99
00:29:10.680 And it's just a fat guy 0.52
00:29:11.800 But he's like shoulder height in the pool 0.98
00:29:13.400 So it looks like he's jacked
00:29:15.300 So when Ben and I went to
00:29:18.640 When Ben
00:29:19.400 Ben and I allegedly did
00:29:21.180 Mic Drop Mania
00:29:21.900 And we were in Chandler Arizona
00:29:23.740 They had a resort
00:29:26.420 And we were in the pool
00:29:27.340 And the whole time
00:29:27.920 We just kept being like
00:29:28.640 Pool jacked
00:29:29.360 Pool jacked
00:29:30.420 And then I was like
00:29:31.160 Yo we should call the podcast this
00:29:32.620 Instead of 0.93
00:29:33.160 Kill up your Palestinian show 1.00
00:29:34.780 With Ben Bankers 0.99
00:29:35.840 And then
00:29:36.320 It took us three years
00:29:37.980 And now we're here
00:29:39.260 Welcome to this
00:29:42.320 By the way
00:29:42.660 The pool is located within
00:29:43.900 The Israeli territory
00:29:45.420 Is a salted pool
00:29:47.680 Is a salt water pool
00:29:50.040 We didn't say what kind of pool
00:29:52.620 Pool jacked
00:29:53.660 Is when you blow up a Palestinian pool 0.99
00:29:55.500 Blow him to smithereens 1.00
00:30:00.400 Every single piece of his body 1.00
00:30:01.900 Babies without faces 1.00
00:30:08.480 No darkness without borders 1.00
00:30:12.000 Babies without fucking heads 1.00
00:30:15.760 Not even real babies 1.00
00:30:17.980 Why are they mad at us
00:30:19.280 Yeah why are they upset
00:30:20.180 They hate us
00:30:20.840 Because they hate us 0.98
00:30:21.860 Yeah Jews are pretty smart 0.98
00:30:25.160 You mad because we're successful 0.99
00:30:28.060 No you made that baby 0.81
00:30:30.080 Not have a head
00:30:30.740 Well yeah
00:30:31.520 That was an accident
00:30:32.180 That's why you're mad
00:30:33.820 Because I'm successful 1.00
00:30:34.400 In killing kids 1.00
00:30:35.120 Everything I do 0.99
00:30:36.780 I accomplish
00:30:37.440 Next week we're going to have
00:30:41.240 Nick Fuentes on the show
00:30:42.700 We're going to have Dave Portnoy
00:30:44.020 Sitting in that chair
00:30:44.860 And he's going to have
00:30:46.080 The exact same amount
00:30:46.940 Of words to say
00:30:47.620 And he's going to send you guys
00:30:49.120 To Auschwitz
00:30:49.700 I'd go to Auschwitz 0.94
00:30:53.380 Be a good bet
00:30:54.480 Not even now
00:30:55.500 I'd go
00:30:56.520 Yeah
00:30:57.100 80 years ago
00:30:57.920 For fun
00:30:58.700 I heard they have a swing pool
00:31:00.300 I heard you could get
00:31:02.160 Really jacked
00:31:03.360 Make you work all day long
00:31:05.440 Trying to lose some weight
00:31:06.460 Go to Auschwitz 0.77
00:31:07.440 It's right beside Equinox
00:31:12.180 I was watching Holocaust 1.00
00:31:13.520 But it's like
00:31:13.940 Oh that's so thin
00:31:14.760 I wish I was that thin
00:31:16.340 What gym do you go to
00:31:17.760 I used to go to Equinox
00:31:19.280 Now I go to Auschwitz
00:31:20.260 It's the best gym
00:31:22.600 It's a good bit for you actually
00:31:25.260 It's a good bit
00:31:26.140 Some loaf of bread
00:31:28.440 I need to lose weight
00:31:29.320 I don't want to go to like
00:31:30.060 Fat rehab
00:31:30.800 It's just Auschwitz 0.93
00:31:31.700 I wish you could do Auschwitz 1.00
00:31:33.880 But then leave
00:31:34.660 You know 1.00
00:31:34.960 I wish I could take my dick out 1.00
00:31:36.300 And jack off 1.00
00:31:36.920 All of Rahari's bald spots 0.93
00:31:38.720 The hair grows back
00:31:42.820 I planted some trees in Israel
00:31:45.740 All you needed was to get 0.97
00:31:46.740 Cummed on kid 0.99
00:31:47.540 Oh my god
00:31:48.400 That's the secret
00:31:49.240 The molestation
00:31:51.380 If that was the secret
00:31:52.280 Would you let me do it
00:31:53.280 For your hair
00:31:54.200 That's a great question
00:31:55.300 Probably not 0.99
00:31:57.700 If you jerked off into a cup 0.99
00:31:59.500 No it has to be like 0.99
00:32:01.380 Like a 0.99
00:32:02.580 Jerked off into a cup 0.93
00:32:03.940 It's somehow weirder 0.93
00:32:04.960 It has to be hot
00:32:05.940 The heat
00:32:08.560 Jerk off onto my head
00:32:09.940 The heat that warms it up 0.98
00:32:10.980 Yeah
00:32:11.600 Yeah
00:32:11.940 The primordial soup
00:32:14.260 Of where your keeper
00:32:14.940 Should have been 0.81
00:32:15.480 I'll just go bald
00:32:17.400 It's fine
00:32:18.120 Just wear a keeper
00:32:19.840 I should right
00:32:21.400 I should go back to God
00:32:22.420 You guys coming with me?
00:32:26.460 Do you think you strayed?
00:32:28.660 Yeah on purpose
00:32:29.520 Why? 1.00
00:32:31.320 Because it's all bullshit 1.00
00:32:32.300 Whoa 1.00
00:32:33.840 Whoa
00:32:34.540 Whoa
00:32:35.060 Whoa
00:32:35.700 Whoa
00:32:36.100 You're in the synagogue
00:32:37.480 So you're telling me 0.97
00:32:38.720 They're killing Palestinians 1.00
00:32:39.720 With nothing? 0.99
00:32:42.600 It's only they invented
00:32:43.620 This old book 0.98
00:32:44.200 Just to kill Eric 0.98
00:32:44.700 One big lie 1.00
00:32:45.600 I thought it was
00:32:47.020 Because it was fun
00:32:47.960 Love of the game
00:32:51.160 It's like doing open mics
00:32:53.620 You just do it
00:32:54.340 Bro that's not funny bro
00:32:55.560 Like bro humor bro
00:32:56.880 That's not funny
00:32:57.820 Because like
00:32:58.300 People are actually done bro 0.98
00:33:00.360 Shut up 0.98
00:33:01.980 I think the worst things 0.99
00:33:10.600 In the world are funny 0.96
00:33:11.320 Because I'm mentally ill
00:33:12.560 I stay in bed all day
00:33:15.000 Because I'm afraid
00:33:15.780 God is mad at me
00:33:17.140 Do not want to see
00:33:20.400 What he has in store
00:33:21.160 For me outside
00:33:21.920 I will go to the show
00:33:24.580 And take my risks there
00:33:26.200 Then I will come back
00:33:28.480 Up to the room
00:33:29.080 Then I will find the most
00:33:30.240 Canadian restaurant
00:33:32.900 In the area
00:33:33.600 Yeah well that's
00:33:34.560 What direction
00:33:35.060 Just ended up going
00:33:36.420 To a box
00:33:36.920 Hey what's good around here
00:33:39.060 I want to know
00:33:39.460 What restaurants
00:33:39.980 To never go to
00:33:40.580 Let's get the security
00:33:44.800 Guard over here
00:33:45.520 And bother them
00:33:46.100 For 45 minutes
00:33:47.080 Can you list out
00:33:49.840 Every menu item
00:33:50.620 From the top three
00:33:51.580 Restaurants
00:33:52.280 And then do you mind
00:33:54.660 Writing them down
00:33:55.520 So we make sure
00:33:56.060 We don't accidentally go
00:33:57.340 We're going to go
00:34:00.200 To a different place
00:34:00.860 Called Moxie's 1.00
00:34:02.100 It's a shithole 0.99
00:34:03.480 And we like it 0.99
00:34:04.360 It's honestly not bad
00:34:07.760 Though it was lit there
00:34:08.860 I feel like
00:34:09.640 It's funny because
00:34:10.460 Canadians are like 1.00
00:34:11.580 Yeah Moxie's is like 1.00
00:34:12.560 Whatever
00:34:12.860 But like Americans 1.00
00:34:14.220 Are like oh my god
00:34:15.160 Oh my god
00:34:15.680 You guys want the Moxie's 0.99
00:34:17.020 You got money
00:34:17.980 No I just think
00:34:20.020 It's like yeah
00:34:20.500 It's like
00:34:20.820 It's like
00:34:21.400 It's high end food
00:34:23.300 For
00:34:23.980 Black 0.64
00:34:26.020 Black 0.99
00:34:26.940 Black people 0.93
00:34:29.100 I didn't see
00:34:32.900 Multiple like
00:34:33.540 Black people dates
00:34:34.380 There being like 0.98
00:34:35.060 She you got a state 0.99
00:34:36.340 Mother
00:34:36.660 That's expensive
00:34:38.800 Sixty dollars
00:34:42.740 Gee
00:34:43.260 Could have got another
00:34:48.500 Fake diamond on your ring
00:34:50.200 With that
00:34:50.780 Sixty dollars 1.00
00:34:52.320 God damn 0.99
00:34:55.240 Oh 0.99
00:34:56.060 Ari Shields
00:34:59.880 So what do you think
00:35:00.260 About that Ari
00:35:00.760 Was any of this racist
00:35:01.760 Nah
00:35:03.260 Did you enjoy any of this
00:35:06.200 Yeah
00:35:06.720 Pull my finger
00:35:10.480 Reach over
00:35:12.300 And pull his finger
00:35:13.260 Crawl
00:35:14.260 No do it
00:35:17.040 Good bit for the camera
00:35:18.520 We like to do physical comedy
00:35:19.960 On this podcast
00:35:20.640 I can't reach
00:35:21.460 Need a reason for people
00:35:22.560 To want to watch it
00:35:23.460 Not just listen
00:35:24.280 Pull Armand's finger
00:35:25.620 The one coming out 0.96
00:35:27.860 Of his groin 1.00
00:35:28.760 Pull his wiener 1.00
00:35:32.320 Pull it with your mouth 1.00
00:35:33.500 Pull it with your asshole 1.00
00:35:35.900 Pull my finger 1.00
00:35:40.700 With your asshole 1.00
00:35:41.580 Welcome to the podcast 1.00
00:35:49.020 Where we insinuate 0.99
00:35:50.180 That we have gay sex 1.00
00:35:51.060 With this Jewish guy 1.00
00:35:51.820 That looks like 1.00
00:35:52.500 He's been raped 0.99
00:35:53.360 Fifteen hundred seats 0.97
00:35:55.160 Left for trial
00:35:55.840 Is this thing
00:36:04.780 Is this thing Jewish 0.97
00:36:07.760 Alright so you drove
00:36:08.880 Back to your parents
00:36:10.600 Home in Providence
00:36:11.880 Last night
00:36:12.740 I did
00:36:13.900 What did you do
00:36:16.080 I went to bed
00:36:17.400 Do you think
00:36:18.140 This is unwatchable
00:36:18.960 This is the best episode
00:36:24.720 We've ever done
00:36:25.440 Thank god
00:36:29.440 I've always wanted to do
00:36:32.600 A podcast lying down
00:36:33.560 To be honest
00:36:34.140 It doesn't get
00:36:35.140 It's pretty good
00:36:35.820 The podcast ends
00:36:36.600 When we fall asleep
00:36:37.620 Podcast ends
00:36:40.520 When we have to eat
00:36:41.340 Alright Ari
00:36:43.200 What does
00:36:44.260 Give me dates
00:36:45.160 Just kidding
00:36:46.080 Where are you next
00:36:51.420 Where I am
00:36:52.200 If you're lucky 1.00
00:36:53.680 If you fucking 0.99
00:36:55.680 Say something 1.00
00:36:57.280 You see something
00:36:58.360 Yeah make a joke
00:36:59.300 Be funny
00:37:00.300 Go
00:37:00.920 Oh there you go
00:37:03.940 Hey
00:37:04.640 Reflexes have gotten better 1.00
00:37:06.940 I actually want to see Ari
00:37:10.540 If you move slow 0.98
00:37:12.060 Like an elderly Jew 1.00
00:37:13.820 For some reason
00:37:14.640 I want to see you do
00:37:15.600 Like a legit reflex test
00:37:17.040 I think I have
00:37:17.480 Eczema on my eyebrow
00:37:18.560 Probably got it from me
00:37:20.920 It's transmissible 0.99
00:37:22.600 Is it?
00:37:23.900 No 0.99
00:37:24.080 Fucking 1.00
00:37:27.500 I don't believe you 1.00
00:37:28.880 Yeah you're
00:37:29.900 Shower at your house
00:37:30.880 So many weird soaps
00:37:32.700 So many medical soaps
00:37:34.480 You are a medical soap guy
00:37:36.740 You also had bugs
00:37:37.700 In your bathroom
00:37:38.400 Bugs
00:37:39.400 Yeah 0.97
00:37:39.940 Bugs in your brain 1.00
00:37:41.340 But you're a Jew 0.99
00:37:44.120 You're one of the chosen 0.98
00:37:45.060 Chosen by the bed bugs 1.00
00:37:47.200 Chosen by the fucking cockroaches 1.00
00:37:48.880 To live in your fucking basement 1.00
00:37:50.060 Chosen by the rent control committee 1.00
00:37:51.840 To live here
00:37:52.540 In this bed ridden
00:37:53.780 Bed ridden
00:37:55.780 The whole apartment's a bed
00:37:58.100 Tuck me in Ari 0.57
00:38:04.060 You got enough time to nap
00:38:08.180 Before the show
00:38:08.980 Good night
00:38:15.180 Ladies and gentlemen
00:38:16.340 Ladies and gentlemen
00:38:16.360 Yes
00:38:17.240 I got습니다
00:38:18.160 To live in the dark
00:38:19.140 I got enough
00:38:20.140 To live in my Act
00:38:24.320 прос AF
00:38:27.340 I don't need it
00:38:29.200 But you can see if I could
00:38:31.580 Love again
00:38:32.180 Can I shake my wrist
00:38:32.520 Because you want me to
00:38:35.520 Gorilla taylor