Hans Kim ｜ Bankas Podcast - #096
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 14 minutes
Words per minute
180.49498
Harmful content
Misogyny
42
sentences flagged
Toxicity
483
sentences flagged
Hate speech
98
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, we talk about politics, mental illness, and homeless people. We also talk about our plans for the future and what we would like to see happen in the future. We hope you enjoy, sit down, and have a nice drink.
Transcript
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You're like, yeah, he's like the new Asian in town, dude.
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I've been Asian here for a while now, so I'm used to it.
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I'm used to it, but he's nearly Asian in Texas.
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No, apparently we never met, but he said he knew about me.
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I like watching political shit because it's like relevant and it's also new like talking
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about dating like everyone's been dating, but like the new tariff bill.
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So is that what's going on with the tariff?
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I think the courts are blocking it now so that he can't do it.
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The only political shit from the left that's like annoying really is like the trans kids
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thing or like that's like that's the only thing where it's like, hey guys, like why
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Where like other stuff's like, yeah, we need to help poor people.
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You can't just yell your way out of this problem.
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You got to like put money into education and like create a bunch of like ways.
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But a lot of people are just mentally ill and can't be helped, which is kind of.
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Why do you think we create so many mentally ill people?
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I mean, are most homeless people black or white?
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It's like a disproportionate amount is black, but there's also whites out there.
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Like you can like work on solving the next round of it.
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You can educate kids and try to get them to be more into being successful.
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But you know, you're not going to help a 45 year old homeless guy unless he wants it.
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Remember that guy with the big booming voice that got a radio job.
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Would you want to do a challenge where you're homeless and you try to, you know, get a business
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But I mean, like there's programs like obviously they have like tons of criminal record.
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But like if they, you know, there's like that homeless place downtown in Austin.
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Like they can go there and be like, hey, I want to fix everything.
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I mean, if I'm just saying like it's better than being homeless.
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People are homeless is because they don't want to nine to five.
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I would be homeless than work at a fast food restaurant for 20 years.
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I don't want to like you could work at a fast food restaurant and like still have, you know,
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Like that's I mean, maybe they're getting laid.
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Maybe that's kind of like rape at that point.
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Can homeless people consent or are they so poor that at the back of their minds, they're
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just trying to get housing the whole time.
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So they're actually every time you fuck a homeless, you're raping them.
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The thing is, like in China, they have crazy people and homeless people.
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Like the countries where it's like, why aren't there any homeless people in this country?
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It's like a sign of a free country that you have people just who can just sleep outside
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It's better if you want to not be homeless and you're homeless.
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But if you just want to be homeless, it's probably better here because the weather's
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You can be homeless and be like, I'm going to go to California and be homeless.
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And like have the best homeless life or Seattle or here.
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But then it's overcrowded with other competitors.
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I would want to be homeless in Vancouver, BC if I had to be homeless in Canada.
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It's a bad place to be homeless, I think, because there's like so that's they were doing
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a thing like there was cartels there and they were like putting like weapons into people's
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They were just like, can you just hold on to this?
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And then they had to like raid all these tents and like they were just hiding all these
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Gang members were like hiding shit with the homeless.
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But I mean, I wish I was nicer to them day to day.
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But in person, you're like, get the fuck out of your face.
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In person, you're a Republican and then online you're a Democrat.
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Like if you live in a big city or you're brought up in a big city, you kind of have
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Like I have a buddy who's from the east coast of Canada and he's trying to live here.
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He's literally the Prince of Newfoundland.
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But he, some homeless person came up to him and was like saying some crazy shit.
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And he's like looking them right in the eye.
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He's like, oh, they have something to say to me.
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So homeless people in Austin are just the worst dressed homeless people.
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They're allowed to express themselves through nudity because it's the weather.
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They don't look as bad as like any single homeless person here.
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Actually, I took a video of a woman who was in a car accident.
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And I was like, right before we pulled up to it, I was like reaching over to my buddy's
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like steering wheel and pushing the horn because we were just in traffic on the smallest
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But then there was like a woman who had her face like, she was like clearly in a car
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When you're fucking crashed on the side of the road, you just see a bunch of people
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Poughkeepsie has like an unbelievable amount of car accidents.
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Maybe it's because the design of the roads or the people are angrier.
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It was raining and somebody was like, oh, when it rains here, everybody fucking crashes.
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It's like an hour and a half north of New York, basically.
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Apparently, Louis CK lives 20 minutes from that club now.
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That's where he worked on his whole hour, his new hour.
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You can just pick a town and live there when you get famous enough and just do sets every
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You're going over and then he's like, hey, Louis CK wants to do 30 minutes.
00:10:44.000
But yeah, no, I know what you mean, but also I feel like they knew like when, you know
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Like when he's not on tour, people, they just kind of know, but it also sells out the room.
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But I wonder what, I think he's still, I don't know if he's going up and doing half
00:11:03.000
He might even be doing just like the 10 minutes or whatever.
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I mean, standup becomes such a different thing at different points in your career.
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So to him, like a 30 minutes, that might be nothing.
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But I think they also value the 10 minute spot.
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Cause I think he values like not being able to do as much so he can only work on like.
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He's some new 10, write it out and recite it better.
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But he's, yeah, he's very, you know, the way he does it is very methodical for sure.
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Like that's on some shows it's important, but it's like 10 comics.
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They grew up with that and that they need to know how long they're doing.
00:12:04.000
And then if they miss, you mean like if you're headlining?
00:12:14.000
Because there's, I mean, they're trying to get so many people into the show in a limited
00:12:21.000
But like, yeah, I mean, it helps to get the show moving, but why do they have time limits?
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There used to be a show when I started doing comedy and it was in a weed vape lounge in
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And every Sunday they would have a show at 1 p.m. called do an hour dummy.
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But you just do an hour or try to a lot of people would bail after like 20 minutes because
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I would try to do the full hour, just like make it up, do whatever, do crowd work.
00:13:32.000
Like South America, how they don't have like, like nobody stops at this red light.
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And then you'll have more organic sets and people.
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And like, oh, if you do 15, that means, you know.
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Well, I think 10 is the max when they say 10 minutes.
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Well, because they're not very good and they're struggling.
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I mean, sometimes I book them on the regular show every Tuesday at the Vulcan.
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But no, I think I think it's just like like the host might not be there and watching like
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I mean, at Mothership, it's because there's so many, you know, there's a lot of comics
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It's hard to convey how much time you want people to do without setting a limit.
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And then people are just going to do up to that time.
00:15:07.000
I just think people are too obsessed with the time.
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Like sometimes it'll work in like liberal rooms and not.
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And like there's so many more valuable traits of a comedian than how much time they
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I'd rather see someone kill for five than bomb for 30.
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You just want to be ruthless and be like, this guy sucks.
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You're not supposed to go like four minutes over.
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Have you gone over the time limit before and gotten like in trouble or something?
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I like when I like when you tell a guy to do 10.
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Hey, sometimes I don't give people the right amount of time.
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But if you're murdering, you also are like, hey, that was 10 minutes.
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If you're doing if you're doing 14, you bombed.
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It's more like three columns made that shit up, didn't you?
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Oh, I mean, I have several notebooks, but you use a notebook to write your set list
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Um, or just, you just sit and critique yourself.
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I don't think anything about being good at something is healthy necessarily.
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But if you're not good at anything, that's probably not healthy either.
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McDonald's or you want to fucking do heroin on the street?
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00:19:10.000
If you for homeless people that are willing to do a five minute spot.
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Or just do kill Tony with homeless people.
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They get vetted though a little bit like they're going to walk in as a metal detector.
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If you're like a heroin addict and you walked in to sign up for kill Tony like they would
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know and probably be like, no, you can't do it.
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But if but if you wanted that, if you made an ad where you're like all homeless people of Austin, Texas, free food and drinks.
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If you come to and perform comedy, you just have to do.
00:19:57.000
Maybe we could find a purpose for them where they aren't so outward with what their thoughts are because I don't really want to know what their thoughts are.
00:20:06.000
Maybe they could take up something that's easier to ignore like painting.
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I think the only way to make them better is to euthanize just like have like a like a bottom rung that just gets murdered.
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I was still thinking about my comedy time limit thing.
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So if somebody is like, how much material do you have?
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Your set list is just on one of those scrolls.
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Do you think I'm racist towards Chinese people?
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I found a way to be in a good place with black people.
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I was a little rude to Uber recently that I was like, drop me off on the side.
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I have a joke about this, but like she literally was.
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Cause you know, they understand what you stop left.
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They understand the basics, but she's like no speaking.
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And I was like, you better fucking learn speaking.
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I was like, well, you know, you should really learn English.
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When you're talking to English speakers all day, you don't want to pick something up.
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At the very least, you should learn English for, you know, to, for your inevitable ice
00:22:32.000
I mean, some people like foreigners, they'll be like, I don't want to participate in your
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So I'm just going to say, I don't speak English.
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But a lot of these people are taking jobs from the homeless.
00:22:46.000
Well, he wouldn't have been homeless if a Mexican didn't steal his dad.
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But that's like one of the things where you're like, Oh, would you rather be homeless or
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Like the fucking immigrants are like riding on the top of a train for like a week.
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And like working with cartels just to do that.
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I thought because my wife lost her key or needed to get back in.
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Yeah, I think I think comedy, you know, like I don't think that I took a picture next
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I look like I look like but I think I'm getting thinner.
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I keep getting thinner and then fatter and then thinner again.
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Well, maybe you could just say you're big, not fat.
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Even if you got skinny, like I'm technically obese, you'd still be a big guy.
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So it's not like you have an incentive to get small.
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You don't think that's how you are naturally.
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Like last year, like literally gaining 50 pounds moving here.
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I just think your body is just kind of big and that's great.
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I did go to your house and kimchi was the only thing in your fridge.
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Then I remember when you were on Kill Tony, you used to, I feel like, didn't Tony used
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to ask you how much money you, like, you're like, how much do you have now?
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And like, if you can do it, like a lot of people, like you meet them and you're like,
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there's no, this is not gonna, you're not gonna, you know what I mean?
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They just don't, they just have no idea, like, how fucking like long the road, like,
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Like they, people just think like, oh, like for instance, like you got on Kill Tony, you
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Was it the first time you did that, that you became a regular?
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Then you fucking did like eight, eight weeks waiting around third spot.
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Then once you're regular, you had to come every week.
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00:27:03.000
Like people like comics just think like, okay, if I could just get this one line.
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Then it'll, it's like, no, that's just, if you get that, you're going to have to actually
00:27:17.000
That's why like people that get successful right away and then they go headlining.
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It's like, fuck, now you have to do 50 minutes.
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It's like, even if you get success that early, it's what's the point?
00:27:33.000
Preacher Lawson is a great comic, but like people like that.
00:27:37.000
Like Preacher Lawson is, was only two years in when you know, like people like the people
00:27:44.000
I mean, you don't think that people who are two years, or like TikTok comics.
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Like if you're two years in and you get success, like some people have done, it's like, there's
00:28:08.000
So it's like, you got to do more of the thing that you wanted to go.
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I'm going to move to Austin and try to get on Kill Tony.
00:28:15.000
It's like, yeah, you should just go to your town and do like eight years there and like
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get some sort of popularity or some, some level of success, or at least learn whatever motivation
00:28:28.000
Some people need to be in New York to be like, Oh, I'm so close to making it.
00:28:34.000
Yeah, it is really, um, you need a lot of jokes, especially if you're going to be posting
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jokes all the time, or if you're going to put out specials, like you kind of.
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Once you're actually touring and you're on the circuit, like you have to fucking get
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You can't go back to some city like seven months later with the same fucking act.
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Cause half the audience likes already saw you.
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And then like Louie talks about that as like, you can do it like the first time.
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And then they're like, okay, that's what that guy does.
00:29:23.000
So you kind of have to, you have to be willing to burn a lot of material.
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Cause like comedy, you hear a joke and then you like know it, but music, you like, you
00:29:41.000
Like a joke sometimes only works like a hundred times and then it just starts getting weirder
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or you don't tell it the same or it's a weird, the same.
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You learn a lot about people's brains and words and ideas just by like how they handle
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Being up there, like seeing how they react and then be like, oh, they're done with that
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I mean, it's, it's a tough, like every show is kind of different.
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Like, you know, you're meeting people for the first time.
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So you're kind of, you know, you, you really have to learn how to be yourself, like let
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And then it's hard to be like consistent with that.
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Cause sometimes you're like, fuck these people.
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I don't want to be myself, you know, but you kind of have to.
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I mean, I don't know if it has the most shows, but it, I think it has the best shows.
00:30:47.000
Like obviously if you're at the cellar in New York, it's packed, it's sold out, but
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The vibes here are like, people are like, this is, I came here for this.
00:31:01.000
But then you go to like Roscoe's and it's like a totally different crowd from mothership
00:31:07.000
Like they're all people who are just kind of like, I guess, I guess, I guess you can say
00:31:15.000
They're more like, it's more like a Brooklyn-y vibe.
00:31:21.000
Cause if you try to talk to them like a liberal, they're like, we're in Texas.
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But then if you try to talk to them like they're Texan, they're like, that's actually very wildly
00:31:33.000
So you just have to like, get them on your side.
00:31:37.000
I'm not a huge fan of, um, like, like I would do like, you know how people are like eight,
00:31:50.000
Like, I guess if you're doing open mics and you're still trying to like, get your shit
00:31:54.000
together, but at a certain point it's like, okay, three shows.
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I think if I do three shows, I'm like, that's a good amount of shows.
00:32:09.000
Unless you're filming every single set and trying to go viral every single time, which
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I'll just have like 300,000 likes on a video of them in a room with like four people bombing.
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But that's, that's where shit's at though.
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Like, I mean, I've, I see a lot more people with bigger rooms.
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Do you think Austin's like, you love, like you're going to stay here.
00:32:49.000
We don't have to talk about this, but I did hear that.
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I don't know if this is true, but were you like robbed?
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You were like robbed, but for like something really nice.
00:33:09.000
She wasn't, I didn't know she was a hooker.
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I didn't give her any money on purpose, but, uh, I invited her to my home.
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It was like two years ago, a year and a half ago.
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That's, uh, I thought somebody told me you got like mugged like on the way home.
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Did it where you, did you at least have sex?
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No, she didn't tell me to give her any money.
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And were you ever like, yo, should I call the cops or something or no?
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It's just, you're, you're not materialistic though.
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If anything, that was like a donation to the homeless.
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I'm involved because I want to be nice to people.
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But, um, you know, overall it's a lot more than I made.
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Like there's a lot of like poor people here and to have sex and steal all your shit.
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And like they're okay with a certain level of violence.
00:35:29.000
That doesn't happen as much in New York is what you're saying.
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But no, I think, uh, anywhere you go, you're going to experience robbers and thieves.
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It seemed like a different person that was robbed.
00:36:19.000
I don't want to let, uh, let some dumb hooker affect my life.
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But yeah, it's, that's fucking crazy, dude.
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She fucking, what'd she like pull your hand?
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So what's, uh, what's your, what are your thoughts on Austin?
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I mean, like I said, like there's nowhere else to go really.
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Like, unless you want to downgrade your lifestyle to New York.
00:37:04.000
Like you can go to nice restaurants and shit, but you're living in like a, in a tiny little
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00:37:13.000
New York is also not as conducive to comedians.
00:37:22.000
It's not like a slippery slope of up and down this.
00:37:25.000
Comedians here are like a, like the upper class or something.
00:37:31.000
Like if you're a comic in Austin, it's kind of like, Oh, comedy.
00:37:34.000
Cause it's like, like people see comics as like helping Austin be a place, like be a
00:37:42.000
Well, I think it's more about just individuals and celebrities that people like, like Tim
00:37:49.000
But like, even if you're not Tim Dillon, like if you're just like me or like somebody
00:37:52.000
else and this is like, Oh, you moved here for comedy.
00:38:02.000
It's, it's more of a vibe than the tech thing now.
00:38:07.000
It's like a, it's like a Woodstock festival that just is forever ongoing.
00:38:16.000
I think that mothership is really, really just the way they've designed the club perfectly.
00:38:23.000
And the, you know, the acoustics and the way it's run.
00:38:29.000
Um, you know, there aren't really, it's kind of like a one of a kind thing.
00:38:33.000
I think, I mean, comedy stores, the most, the closest to, I mean, you know what I mean?
00:38:40.000
I think every city should have it like an upper tier, like heaven.
00:38:50.000
Maybe they will open multiple ones in different, in different spots.
00:38:57.000
The comedy, comedy mothership, what's great about it is like people there, like Joe Rogan.
00:39:02.000
You can't just have like a bunch of, you know, like famous people in every city.
00:39:11.000
Like it wouldn't be the exact same, but it would, you know what I mean?
00:39:14.000
Like it would probably be more focused around touring, like comics who are, you know what
00:39:23.000
Would go there from like regulars would go and tour for a week.
00:39:29.000
And it would be like, it'd be less people, but it'd be like three of us go with, you know,
00:39:34.000
so like whoever that's killing it and, um, sell it all out.
00:39:40.000
It would, they wouldn't, maybe they'd only have one room kind of thing.
00:39:47.000
They wouldn't, they obviously wouldn't have Kill Tony on stuff like that.
00:40:15.000
I mean, I, dude, I wouldn't, if I told 25 year old me like, yo, Austin, but the, and
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But then I'd be like, Oh, but like Rogan's there.
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It's like, you know, I think it's, it doesn't really for the type of comedy that I'm doing.
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00:40:40.000
Like if you're doing fucking really woke, like experimental hypothetical, you know, all
0.99
00:40:49.000
Like, yeah, obviously go to New York where people are going to fucking appreciate it.
1.00
00:40:58.000
Would you want to live in like multiple places?
00:41:07.000
I like some of the like secondary celebrity class of comedians.
00:41:14.000
Like some people are shitting on Austin, you know, like Tim Dillon said Austin is over,
0.71
00:41:20.000
but it's like, it's good to have a third city.
0.95
00:41:26.000
Like this brings another group of like comics into the forefront.
0.88
00:41:31.000
I mean, if you're, look, if you're fucking touring and making money and you're like our
0.64
00:41:37.000
age ish, like early thirties, late twenties, like, yeah, come here.
0.97
00:41:56.000
I thought, I think mid, I think mid is 34 to 36.
00:42:14.000
Um, I think that rigid time structures aren't the best for artistic expressions.
00:42:46.000
What would that, how, what would that, what was the purpose of that?
00:43:06.000
That almost sounds like it makes more sense in English.
0.99
00:43:10.000
They have two ways of counting and that's better for math.
00:43:19.000
Uh, I think just philosophically, like ideologically.
00:43:52.000
No, I feel like that'd be funny if like all like a bunch of Koreans and like Japanese
1.00
00:43:58.000
did that and found out they had like, they were like half Chinese.
00:44:04.000
They're like, they've been calling us Chinese.
1.00
00:44:13.000
Culturally they hate the Chinese, but genetically they are Chinese.
1.00
00:44:20.000
Some people are black and they don't even know it.
0.97
00:44:34.000
It's like a little corner that the Arabs have, but they have like the alien head.
1.00
00:44:44.000
Uh, and they have like, have invented a few more.
00:45:03.000
You literally sounded like you were trying to auction off a Somalian.
00:45:31.000
I like cats, but I don't like the shedding thing.
00:45:34.000
I think, um, I like a hairless cat, but apparently they're the most, they're like
00:45:39.000
the most, if you're allergic to cats, they're like the worst.
00:45:42.000
They just constantly shedding through their pores.
00:45:44.000
Cause it's not like the people think there are people who are allergic or allergic to the
00:45:47.000
hair, but they're actually like allergic to like the skin.
00:45:51.000
So it's like the hairless cat gives off more shit that people are allergic.
1.00
00:46:00.000
Our fucking, fucking Asians don't even have allergies, bro.
1.00
00:46:09.000
Like an Asian person be like, I have a seafood.
1.00
00:46:33.000
Were there, I guess, but that was all fake.
0.99
00:46:35.000
All those videos of people dying and shit.
0.98
00:46:37.000
That was, it's just a lot of people squeeze into a small area.
0.99
00:46:41.000
That viruses are going to be like, that is a prime target.
00:46:50.000
Did you see the video of the Chinese guy fucking the chicken or whatever?
1.00
00:46:56.000
Cause that one video, you thought we were clean five seconds ago.
00:47:01.000
Somebody told me something weird yesterday that like Asian or like Chinese moms or something
00:47:07.000
like if the kid like does well, they'll like blow their son or something.
00:47:18.000
If you do well in school, your mom is going to blow you.
0.99
00:47:26.000
How do you look at your mom the same way if she's blowing you?
0.99
00:47:30.000
I mean, you gotta hand her 60 bucks after that.
0.96
00:47:35.000
No, it's, I mean, Asian culture doesn't have a lot of room for like comedy and shit,
1.00
00:47:48.000
Like, I mean, in Asia, you, well, you just went to Asia.
00:47:54.000
And, um, who's that guy that does the daily show?
00:48:40.000
I thought it was a great community and, uh, you know, like ecosystem to be in.
00:48:49.000
It's like getting on, uh, fucking Kim Kardashian or something, or like even Steven for me, even
0.98
00:49:11.000
No, the .ca thing is, they should have never done that, but every country has that.
00:49:43.000
I just go to the river, just pull out a trout, just start eating it like golem.
0.99
00:50:08.000
So I used to go to a restaurant called Korean Village all the time that my dad would always
00:50:11.000
take me to and like the, it's like a family restaurant and then the mom died and then
00:50:15.000
it was just sad and then the sun started running it and COVID happened.
00:50:21.000
They always give me the side dish, like a good, like a sprout, the sprout side dish,
1.00
00:50:26.000
like the pickled sprout and fucking all the spicy fucking.
1.00
00:50:49.000
Cause then you can actually sit down and not watch the TV.
00:50:53.000
So you have to get out of the house just to talk to the people.
00:51:01.000
Did you grow up with, uh, I do have a dining room.
00:51:07.000
Have you noticed that a dining room is not a thing anymore?
00:51:10.000
Like my house, my apartment doesn't even have a dining room.
00:51:15.000
I want to, I think, um, I, I'm pretty close to buying a dining room table.
00:51:34.000
I mean, it seems kind of like I already have money.
00:52:00.000
I have to explain to people like you really have to join.
0.99
00:52:03.000
And like, people are like, I don't, I don't know how it's like, shut the fuck up.
1.00
00:52:09.000
But like a lot of people like who aren't on it would be, they just like are kind of late.
1.00
00:52:13.000
Like they don't cause dude, how many fucking things like you pay for page.
0.81
00:52:19.000
It doesn't mean that you have to watch every episode either.
00:52:22.000
Like it's really a low risk, low reward kind of thing.
00:52:34.000
I mean, they get to listen to you, you know, talking shit or talking about whatever you
1.00
00:52:52.000
It is kind of funny that people give more money to comedians and only fans models, like
00:52:58.000
on a monthly basis, like subscriptions, then you know, like African kids.
00:53:04.000
Like, remember that was a big thing where it's like, Oh, $1 a day.
00:53:19.000
Now it's like, no, no, I give five bucks to Ben Bankis on Patreon.
1.00
00:53:21.000
I'd rather give Ben Bankis five bucks than some kid with flies in his eyes.
00:53:35.000
You want five bucks, five bucks a month so you can make enough money to go to Nairobi
00:53:42.000
That would be a fun thing is like go every go to like all the McDonald's in like every
00:53:47.000
country or something like one McDonald's in every country that would take a decade.
00:53:50.000
And then there'd be new ones that pop up that you'd have to go to.
00:53:53.000
It'd be like the line of Chinese people walking in.
1.00
00:53:56.000
Did you go when you did you go to American fast food when you're in Asia recently?
00:54:03.000
I went to McDonald's once in Japan, Korea, Japan.
00:54:37.000
Like, you know, like you're just like burger and fries.
00:55:02.000
The other things like all the other jobs just have more people now.
00:55:17.000
There was like a cleaning robot for the restaurant or you just put your trays in it.
00:55:38.000
Would it be like a self-defense robot too?
0.99
00:55:43.000
I mean, the second that we all have robots in our house, like we're so screwed kind of.
00:55:49.000
Like we're so like at risk of everything getting weird.
1.00
00:55:59.000
Probably women will be the first to fuck them.
1.00
00:56:05.000
Because there's no hole, but they have like fingers.
00:56:10.000
Like they keep it all pent up because if you like show any interest in a man, they're going
0.99
00:56:15.000
So they're like, oh, I just wish I could be safe around a man who's not going to like
0.99
00:56:21.000
There might be a bit of robot rape, which I'm not.
0.98
00:56:24.000
Women would be the first to rub themselves on a robot.
1.00
00:56:29.000
Yeah, I think that they were just so horny.
0.97
00:56:31.000
Well, the Optimus, like imagine being in a house and you're a woman and you're alone
00:56:38.000
I was like, can you just put your finger out like that?
00:57:04.000
Because of a guilty conscience or like they are afraid of like people that they owned
00:57:13.000
Anyways, like even if the robots destroy them, it's like, oh, Americans, we're going
1.00
00:57:17.000
Like it's the there's we already have like one higher than us.
00:57:22.000
You think Americans are trying to destroy Asia?
00:57:28.000
I think it's a side effect of what they if they get what they want.
00:57:32.000
I think it's just like it's just that they're in the way.
00:57:40.000
Oh, like I'm just talking about like America can like it's the uneasy feeling of like
00:57:46.000
knowing that there's like a kid above your antel.
00:57:51.000
But yeah, it's just like I think that we don't have like the fear like we're already, you
00:57:58.000
We're not going to go lower than the Africans.
1.00
00:58:06.000
I mean, like nobody like no offense to no offense.
00:58:13.000
No, but I just mean like if you go to a neighborhood and it's all Asian people like as a white person
00:58:18.000
like you don't like you don't like it, but you're not afraid.
00:58:21.000
You're like a lot of Asians, but you're not like.
1.00
00:58:25.000
Oh, yeah, I mean you're like I'm still I'll still go into a store.
00:58:33.000
I feel like Filipinos get when they get a little more dangerous.
1.00
00:58:38.000
Yeah, there are more Mexican, but like Korean like if you go like in Canada, there's a in
0.99
00:58:44.000
Toronto Shepard and the fuck is it young and Shepard young and whatever.
0.87
00:58:49.000
There's like a whole strip, which is basically like there's like two Korea towns, but this
0.98
00:58:54.000
like the bigger one and everybody's great like everybody.
00:58:58.000
They have fucking and it's just like it's sick.
1.00
00:59:01.000
It's sick like you people go there to be like let's go there for food.
1.00
00:59:05.000
Yeah, it's like the Korean food so fucking good there.
0.98
00:59:08.000
You know what I mean, but like you know, no one goes to Compton.
00:59:11.000
Nobody's like oh, let's go to that jerk chicken spot at midnight.
00:59:17.000
I think we're the Asians you can pick on them and they'll be oh, what's going on?
00:59:22.000
Oh, you know, but I think they're scary Filipinos like they they have a limit.
1.00
00:59:28.000
Like it doesn't matter how what their status hierarchy at some point.
0.82
00:59:37.000
What'd you say about my fucking Filipino motherfucker?
1.00
00:59:39.000
Yeah, like Korean guy would be like, yeah, whatever.
1.00
00:59:46.000
You can't like Filipinos and like fucking they're like dogs.
1.00
00:59:54.000
I mean, I didn't say that the liberal said that the Asian hierarchy is very rigid.
0.99
01:00:02.000
The white Asians, you know, we're not connected to our natural being.
0.99
01:00:18.000
It would be cool to see which group of Asians has the biggest dicks.
1.00
01:00:32.000
Because once you start living in cities, your dicks get smaller.
1.00
01:00:38.000
Chinese is probably one of those up there.
0.99
01:00:41.000
But like, honestly, their dicks obviously work very well because they have like a shit ton of people.
0.99
01:00:50.000
It's like everyone pair up and do what you're told.
0.99
01:01:01.000
Like I kind of like a, I kind of like a small dick in the, I don't like when she's
0.99
01:01:08.000
I don't want to feel guilty and like, you know, feel empathy.
01:01:11.000
No, you don't want it to be really small, but you want it to be like your size or like
01:01:18.000
But you don't want it to be like a fucking, like a micro penis, like a little clip.
1.00
01:01:33.000
No, but if, I mean, if it was funny enough, I bite.
0.97
01:01:44.000
I think the porn industry was created by Jewish people to subvert, subvert the country,
1.00
01:01:55.000
I mean, so many videos of like women on the street saying the craziest shit.
1.00
01:02:00.000
Like I, it's scary to like, I feel bad for like guys who are single and like are like,
0.99
01:02:11.000
Like, I think I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, it's just crazy.
01:02:20.000
It's like, I fucking had a fucking train right on me like eight times.
0.99
01:02:33.000
Or is that maybe I think it's partly it is.
0.54
01:02:38.000
But when I was like, when we were kids, like it was only the guys who watch porn, but I
01:02:54.000
And if both of them are watching, it just goes, you put it crazy in her.
0.97
01:03:05.000
It's like, you know, in moderate, like, you know, once in a while you fucking or you're
0.54
01:03:09.000
on the road or something, you know, but like watching it every day is definitely not
0.91
01:03:31.000
They should have that experience on the VR porn.
01:04:15.000
Cause like, I just didn't like, I don't like, what do you like?
01:04:19.000
Well, you know, Tony always asked, what do you do for fun?
01:04:48.000
Like making a good city or like attacking other cities.
0.96
01:04:51.000
Like making, like build a city, like build the highway and all that shit.
0.85
01:04:59.000
Also, I, I actually enjoy flying like the virtual flight.
01:05:05.000
Like if I had a million bucks, I would definitely have like a whole room of just like the fucking.
0.99
01:05:16.000
He like did the V, like the virtual assistant flying program.
01:05:29.000
He used HBO to pay for his flight sim training.
01:05:32.000
And now it's like, he's like one of the guys with like the most hours on that simulator
01:05:41.000
So just to be that funny, he like went that hard.
01:06:02.000
Uh, I'm sure he would like, no, he, he would find the joy in some parts of it.
01:06:08.000
Is he completely the same as his, he is on the show?
01:06:15.000
You kind of made it seem like you knew him a bit.
01:06:20.000
So everyone's talking about how Nathan Fielder is a pilot.
01:06:36.000
I guess he made a lot of money off his show, but are you, uh, what do you got coming up?
01:07:01.000
We're thinking about changing the name of the show to pool jacked.
01:07:05.000
Who's we, um, me and, um, my one friend and I guess my graphic designer.
01:08:01.000
We got so many fucking floaties, but are you going to have a lot of people there?
0.96
01:08:46.000
I thought he has an apartment that he sometimes goes to.
01:08:57.000
I mean, if I, I would, I wouldn't mind a fucking multiple.
0.93
01:09:00.000
I would, I'd love, I mean, that's what we're all, you know, people want to have multiple
0.99
01:09:07.000
Like, you know, I'm not going to argue with that.
01:09:19.000
I mean, how fucking far in the suburbs that you can't just drive home, but yeah, I don't
0.84
01:09:38.000
Just every white person on the outside surrounding the blacks.
1.00
01:09:48.000
They really got gentrified out of the East though.
0.98
01:10:12.000
I mean, I think it's good to have people that live in a place for a while.
01:10:17.000
You know, when everyone has been there for a while, just makes it kind of cool.
01:10:21.000
It's even more interesting when you go, how long you been here?
01:10:30.000
What's the cruelest thing policy that you're okay with?
01:10:44.000
No, I mean, I wouldn't be, I don't know what I'm okay with.
01:10:59.000
I just think that like people who aren't doing like actual, like, like, I think the drug,
0.99
01:11:07.000
I think it's okay to discriminate in your business.
1.00
01:11:12.000
Like if you don't want to serve like gay people.
0.99
01:11:19.000
But you should also be aware that people can get online and say that.
01:11:22.000
So I went to an optic optometrist today in a very gay area of Austin and everyone is
1.00
01:11:36.000
You know, they let each other more than straight couples.
01:11:42.000
They want to get along with dudes who are just bros.
01:11:51.000
A lot of lesbians are like really in a bad mood all the time.
1.00
01:11:59.000
They never have like, they can never get too happy.
01:12:01.000
Like I was so kind to the lesbian woman at the optometrist, like the assistant or whatever.
01:12:14.000
It's like, why can't you just be like, you're welcome.
01:12:22.000
The gay guy wouldn't even look at me in the eye.
1.00
01:12:24.000
He was like, why would a straight man come to the fucking optometrist?
1.00
01:12:30.000
Sometimes the gay or is, or is it just a woman?
1.00
01:12:35.000
Then it was like a straight woman who was the actual optometrist.
1.00
01:12:40.000
Was she like a fresh off the boat or a good English?
1.00
01:13:13.000
Or they just like did a minor adjustment so they could just charge me.
01:13:16.000
Cause otherwise it's like, bro, why I have the same prescription.
0.97
01:13:19.000
Why the fuck do I have to do this every two years?
0.88
01:13:21.000
Otherwise they won't like let you order glasses if you haven't done.
0.98
01:13:26.000
But there's some websites where you can do that.
01:14:14.000
We're going to see you and check out Hans at Hans Kim.