Bankas Podcast - June 03, 2025


Hans Kim ｜ Bankas Podcast - #096

Topics
homelessness in Austin homeless programs and challenges homelessness in Canada comedy mothership Korean food Patreon robots pool situation
Hosted by
Ben Bankas
Mentioned
Kill Tony Hans Kim Austin Tim Dillon Optimus Roger Preacher Lawson Luke Lawrence Andre Kim Ben Bankus Jesse Burlingam Nathan Fielder Brian Redman David Jolly Joe Rogan Hastings Steven Jimmy O. Yang Kim Kardashian Brian Redband and 19 more
Bed Ridden with Armin Arbabi & Ari Shield ｜ Bankas Podcast - #095 Andre Kim ｜ Bankas Podcast - #097

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 14 minutes

Words per minute

180.49

Word count

13,492

Sentence count

2,238

Harmful content

Misogyny

42

sentences flagged

Toxicity

483

sentences flagged

Hate speech

98

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about politics, mental illness, and homeless people. We also talk about our plans for the future and what we would like to see happen in the future. We hope you enjoy, sit down, and have a nice drink.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Get more if we need it.
00:00:06.000 So people think you're political.
00:00:08.000 Yeah.
00:00:09.000 Who?
00:00:10.000 Brian Redman and Andre Kim.
00:00:14.000 Andre Kim's just trying to chirp.
00:00:16.000 You're like, yeah, he's like the new Asian in town, dude. 1.00
00:00:18.000 Yeah, maybe he's feeling a little insecurity.
00:00:21.000 Yeah, being so Asian. 1.00
00:00:23.000 Yeah, he's been called Hans Kim a lot.
00:00:26.000 I've been Asian here for a while now, so I'm used to it. 1.00
00:00:29.000 I'm used to it, but he's nearly Asian in Texas. 0.81
00:00:32.000 Yeah, it's a different vibe.
00:00:34.000 Yeah.
00:00:35.000 Did you know you knew him from New York?
00:00:37.000 No, apparently we never met, but he said he knew about me.
00:00:41.000 That's sick.
00:00:42.000 Yeah.
00:00:43.000 But why?
00:00:44.000 What do they say?
00:00:45.000 Like your political like left wing?
00:00:47.000 They think definitely.
00:00:50.000 I mean, what does that even mean though?
00:00:53.000 Really?
00:00:54.000 That I pay too much attention to the news.
00:00:57.000 Do you?
00:00:58.000 Yeah, I guess so.
00:00:59.000 You're watching that every day.
00:01:01.000 I'm watching like streamers.
00:01:03.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:01:04.000 I like watching political shit because it's like relevant and it's also new like talking 0.99
00:01:09.000 about dating like everyone's been dating, but like the new tariff bill. 0.99
00:01:14.000 Plato doesn't know shit about that. 0.92
00:01:17.000 So is that what's going on with the tariff? 0.97
00:01:19.000 I think the courts are blocking it now so that he can't do it.
00:01:24.000 I feel like the tariffs never happened.
00:01:26.000 Yeah.
00:01:27.000 It was just a myth.
00:01:28.000 Yeah.
00:01:29.000 It's like the gold standard.
00:01:30.000 It's kind of smart though.
00:01:31.000 No, to like just lie.
00:01:33.000 Yeah.
00:01:34.000 I mean, I guess so.
00:01:35.000 Then you don't have to do anything.
00:01:36.000 You can just talk all day.
00:01:38.000 Yeah.
00:01:39.000 I mean, he got.
00:01:40.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:01:41.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:01:42.000 I'm trying to. 1.00
00:01:43.000 I don't even. 1.00
00:01:44.000 The only political shit from the left that's like annoying really is like the trans kids 1.00
00:01:50.000 thing or like that's like that's the only thing where it's like, hey guys, like why 0.99
00:01:54.000 are we focusing on this?
00:01:56.000 Yeah.
00:01:57.000 You know what I mean?
00:01:58.000 Where like other stuff's like, yeah, we need to help poor people.
00:02:01.000 I just don't think that.
00:02:02.000 Like I think.
00:02:03.000 Yeah.
00:02:04.000 Poor people need help.
00:02:05.000 I don't know if they need money though.
00:02:06.000 Yeah.
00:02:07.000 Like they need money.
00:02:08.000 What are you going to do?
00:02:09.000 Yell at them?
00:02:10.000 Yeah.
00:02:11.000 You can't just yell your way out of this problem.
00:02:15.000 No, but you got to like educate.
00:02:17.000 You got to like put money into education and like create a bunch of like ways.
00:02:21.000 But a lot of people are just mentally ill and can't be helped, which is kind of.
00:02:25.000 Part of the issue. 0.53
00:02:26.000 Why do you think we create so many mentally ill people? 1.00
00:02:31.000 Where does that come from? 1.00
00:02:33.000 Bad upbringings and blacks. 1.00
00:02:36.000 I mean, are most homeless people black or white? 0.99
00:02:39.000 I feel like they're white. 0.96
00:02:40.000 You think so? 0.88
00:02:41.000 In Austin, they're pretty black. 0.76
00:02:43.000 I think it's like football. 0.64
00:02:45.000 It's like a disproportionate amount is black, but there's also whites out there. 0.94
00:02:50.000 So there's more black homeless. 0.94
00:02:52.000 Yeah. 0.92
00:02:53.000 I mean, well, black homeless. 0.92
00:02:55.000 We know why that's happening. 0.97
00:02:57.000 White. 0.98
00:02:58.000 Gangster rep. 0.97
00:02:59.000 Just no.
00:03:00.000 No.
00:03:01.000 Daddy wasn't there.
00:03:02.000 Yeah.
00:03:03.000 The war on drugs.
00:03:04.000 No, I don't.
00:03:05.000 I mean, or they just leave.
00:03:07.000 That's a southern thing. 0.99
00:03:08.000 I think that there's a homeless thing.
00:03:10.000 You can't solve that.
00:03:12.000 Like that isn't a solvable thing.
00:03:14.000 Okay.
00:03:15.000 I mean, you can solve it later.
00:03:16.000 Like you can like work on solving the next round of it.
00:03:19.000 You know what I mean?
00:03:20.000 Yeah.
00:03:21.000 Like the next, like the kids.
00:03:22.000 We can cut it off at the joke or the street.
00:03:24.000 You can educate kids and try to get them to be more into being successful.
00:03:29.000 But you know, you're not going to help a 45 year old homeless guy unless he wants it.
00:03:35.000 Yeah.
00:03:36.000 I'm sure there.
00:03:37.000 Remember that guy with the big booming voice that got a radio job.
00:03:41.000 His name was like John Lennon or something.
00:03:43.000 It was like a famous guy.
00:03:44.000 His name was also his name.
00:03:46.000 There's a lot of help for homeless people.
00:03:48.000 They just don't take it.
00:03:49.000 I think.
00:03:50.000 Would you want to do a challenge where you're homeless and you try to, you know, get a business
00:03:56.000 going or sell lemonade or something?
00:03:58.000 Yeah.
00:03:59.000 I mean, not even that.
00:04:00.000 But I mean, like there's programs like obviously they have like tons of criminal record.
00:04:04.000 But like if they, you know, there's like that homeless place downtown in Austin.
00:04:09.000 Arch.
00:04:10.000 Yeah.
00:04:11.000 Like they can go there and be like, hey, I want to fix everything.
00:04:13.000 I want to get clean.
00:04:14.000 I want to get a job.
00:04:15.000 I want to get a house.
00:04:16.000 They'll help you do it.
00:04:17.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:04:18.000 But what's the fucking reward? 0.99
00:04:20.000 You get to work at McDonald's. 1.00
00:04:22.000 Congrats.
00:04:23.000 I mean, for a bit.
00:04:24.000 Yeah.
00:04:25.000 I mean, if I'm just saying like it's better than being homeless.
00:04:28.000 I think that's why people are street.
00:04:29.000 People are homeless is because they don't want to nine to five.
00:04:32.000 They're just lazy, bro.
00:04:33.000 But it's and they're true. 0.99
00:04:35.000 They're addicted to drugs.
00:04:36.000 They're addicted to drugs.
00:04:37.000 Drugs.
00:04:38.000 I would be homeless than work at a fast food restaurant for 20 years.
00:04:42.000 Yeah.
00:04:43.000 I did it for like a year.
00:04:45.000 I wouldn't.
00:04:46.000 You'd rather work at a fast food restaurant.
00:04:48.000 I mean, I rather do this, but I mean the best.
00:04:54.000 Yeah.
00:04:55.000 But like job.
00:04:56.000 Yeah.
00:04:57.000 I don't want to like you could work at a fast food restaurant and like still have, you know,
00:05:01.000 get like laid and stuff.
00:05:03.000 You're just like a homeless guy.
00:05:05.000 Like that's I mean, maybe they're getting laid. 0.99
00:05:07.000 Maybe that's kind of like rape at that point. 0.98
00:05:10.000 But everything's rape for them. 0.91
00:05:13.000 Can homeless people consent or are they so poor that at the back of their minds, they're
00:05:18.000 just trying to get housing the whole time. 1.00
00:05:20.000 So they're actually every time you fuck a homeless, you're raping them. 1.00
00:05:24.000 The thing is, like in China, they have crazy people and homeless people. 1.00
00:05:27.000 They just put them in jail right away.
00:05:29.000 Like, you know what I mean?
00:05:30.000 Like, you know what I mean?
00:05:31.000 Like the countries where it's like, why aren't there any homeless people in this country?
00:05:35.000 Because they don't because it's like illegal.
00:05:37.000 You know what I mean?
00:05:38.000 It's like a sign of a free country that you have people just who can just sleep outside
00:05:42.000 all the time.
00:05:43.000 But Canada is better than America.
00:05:46.000 We're homeless for homeless.
00:05:48.000 Probably not just in the sense that.
00:05:51.000 There's probably more programs like that.
00:05:54.000 It's better if you want to not be homeless and you're homeless.
00:05:56.000 Yeah.
00:05:57.000 You know what I mean?
00:05:58.000 But if you just want to be homeless, it's probably better here because the weather's
00:06:01.000 warmer.
00:06:02.000 Yeah.
00:06:03.000 You can be homeless and be like, I'm going to go to California and be homeless.
00:06:06.000 Yeah.
00:06:07.000 And like have the best homeless life or Seattle or here.
00:06:10.000 But then it's overcrowded with other competitors.
00:06:13.000 But they like that.
00:06:14.000 That's like their little village.
00:06:16.000 I would want to be homeless in Vancouver, BC if I had to be homeless in Canada.
00:06:21.000 Hastings?
00:06:22.000 Hastings?
00:06:23.000 East Hastings?
00:06:24.000 You've seen it?
00:06:25.000 That's where all the Indians are? 1.00
00:06:26.000 That's where all the homeless people are.
00:06:27.000 Yeah.
00:06:28.000 Is that a part of downtown?
00:06:30.000 Yeah.
00:06:31.000 Pretty much.
00:06:32.000 It's like the east part of downtown.
00:06:34.000 It's just.
00:06:35.000 Yeah.
00:06:36.000 It's kind of bad.
00:06:37.000 It's a bad place to be homeless, I think, because there's like so that's they were doing
00:06:42.000 a thing like there was cartels there and they were like putting like weapons into people's
00:06:47.000 tents.
00:06:48.000 They were just like, can you just hold on to this?
00:06:49.000 And then they had to like raid all these tents and like they were just hiding all these
00:06:54.000 like weapons. 0.99
00:06:55.000 Gang members were like hiding shit with the homeless. 1.00
00:06:58.000 Nice. 1.00
00:06:59.000 I mean, it's.
00:07:00.000 Yeah.
00:07:01.000 You think about homeless people a lot?
00:07:04.000 Uh, I guess so.
00:07:06.000 Politically.
00:07:07.000 Yeah.
00:07:08.000 But I mean, I wish I was nicer to them day to day.
00:07:11.000 But politically, I want to help them. 1.00
00:07:13.000 But in person, you're like, get the fuck out of your face. 0.99
00:07:16.000 It's hilarious. 0.99
00:07:17.000 It's hilarious.
00:07:18.000 In person, you're a Republican and then online you're a Democrat.
00:07:21.000 Yeah.
00:07:22.000 If they're far away, it's easy to be nice.
00:07:24.000 Well, you lived in New York.
00:07:25.000 Like if you live in a big city or you're brought up in a big city, you kind of have
00:07:30.000 a way of dealing with homeless people.
00:07:32.000 It's harsh, but you pretty much have to do it.
00:07:34.000 Yeah.
00:07:35.000 Like I have a buddy who's from the east coast of Canada and he's trying to live here.
00:07:41.000 Luke.
00:07:42.000 Hey.
00:07:43.000 Luke Lawrence.
00:07:45.000 Luke Lawrence. 1.00
00:07:46.000 He fucking. 1.00
00:07:47.000 Prince of. 1.00
00:07:48.000 Prince of Newfoundland, dude.
00:07:50.000 He's literally the Prince of Newfoundland. 0.99
00:07:51.000 But he, some homeless person came up to him and was like saying some crazy shit. 0.99
00:07:55.000 And he's like looking them right in the eye. 0.99
00:07:57.000 And he's like, what?
00:07:58.000 What?
00:07:59.000 And it's like, no, dude, you don't do that.
00:08:00.000 You just go, sorry, I don't have.
00:08:02.000 Huh?
00:08:03.000 What are you saying?
00:08:04.000 Yeah.
00:08:05.000 Yeah.
00:08:06.000 That's literally what he did.
00:08:07.000 I literally can't understand you right now.
00:08:09.000 Yeah.
00:08:10.000 He's like, say it again.
00:08:11.000 I'm like, dude, just let them go.
00:08:13.000 But yeah, it's.
00:08:14.000 Yeah.
00:08:15.000 He's like, oh, they have something to say to me.
00:08:17.000 It's like, it's just nonsense.
00:08:19.000 They do that.
00:08:20.000 So homeless people in Austin are just the worst dressed homeless people.
00:08:24.000 Like people are like, they're so bad here.
00:08:26.000 It's like the worst.
00:08:27.000 They just look bad.
00:08:28.000 Yeah.
00:08:29.000 They're really bad.
00:08:30.000 They're allowed to express themselves through nudity because it's the weather.
00:08:34.000 So good.
00:08:35.000 But there's almost people in New York.
00:08:36.000 They don't look as bad as like any single homeless person here.
00:08:41.000 They just look terrible.
00:08:42.000 They got the jeans are falling off.
00:08:44.000 I took a picture of this guy on the subway.
00:08:47.000 His whole leg was swollen.
00:08:49.000 Wow.
00:08:50.000 And there was like pus coming out of it.
00:08:52.000 You took a picture of that.
00:08:53.000 Yeah.
00:08:54.000 I just saw a guy suffering.
00:08:55.000 I did that recently.
00:08:56.000 Actually, I took a video of a woman who was in a car accident.
00:08:59.000 And I was like, right before we pulled up to it, I was like reaching over to my buddy's
00:09:04.000 like steering wheel and pushing the horn because we were just in traffic on the smallest
00:09:10.000 like road. 0.99
00:09:11.000 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99
00:09:12.000 I'm like, eh, eh, eh, eh. 0.99
00:09:13.000 People started moving after that.
00:09:15.000 But then there was like a woman who had her face like, she was like clearly in a car 0.97
00:09:19.000 accident.
00:09:20.000 And I was just like taking a video. 0.99
00:09:23.000 It's pretty fucked up. 0.99
00:09:24.000 When you're fucking crashed on the side of the road, you just see a bunch of people 1.00
00:09:28.000 Ben Bank is using it as promo. 0.99
00:09:30.000 With your mouth wide open?
00:09:32.000 I'll be in Poughkeepsie tonight.
00:09:33.000 Poughkeepsie has like an unbelievable amount of car accidents.
00:09:36.000 That's where it happened.
00:09:37.000 That's where we saw it.
00:09:39.000 Interesting.
00:09:40.000 In New York?
00:09:41.000 Yeah.
00:09:42.000 Pennsylvania?
00:09:43.000 No, it's New York.
00:09:44.000 I wonder why.
00:09:45.000 Maybe it's because the design of the roads or the people are angrier. 0.97
00:09:49.000 It was raining and somebody was like, oh, when it rains here, everybody fucking crashes. 0.98
00:09:54.000 What's wrong with you people? 0.92
00:09:57.000 I mean, the roads are pretty weird.
00:09:59.000 Like they're like tiny roads.
00:10:01.000 Have you been to Poughkeepsie?
00:10:03.000 I don't think so.
00:10:04.000 It's like an hour and a half north of New York, basically.
00:10:08.000 Yeah.
00:10:09.000 I mean, I've probably been near it.
00:10:11.000 I went all the way up and down that thing.
00:10:14.000 Apparently, Louis CK lives 20 minutes from that club now.
00:10:18.000 There.
00:10:19.000 Laugh it up, Poughkeepsie.
00:10:20.000 That's where he worked on his whole hour, his new hour.
00:10:23.000 That's cool.
00:10:24.000 You can just pick a town and live there when you get famous enough and just do sets every
00:10:28.000 day.
00:10:29.000 Yeah.
00:10:30.000 That's really what I want to do.
00:10:31.000 To be honest.
00:10:32.000 Imagine going up at a weekend in Poughkeepsie.
00:10:34.000 You're like, I got my hour.
00:10:35.000 You're going over and then he's like, hey, Louis CK wants to do 30 minutes.
00:10:39.000 Is that okay?
00:10:40.000 Yeah.
00:10:41.000 Well, at that point.
00:10:42.000 Yeah.
00:10:43.000 You should.
00:10:44.000 But yeah, no, I know what you mean, but also I feel like they knew like when, you know
00:10:49.000 what I mean?
00:10:50.000 Like when he's not on tour, people, they just kind of know, but it also sells out the room.
00:10:53.000 So.
00:10:54.000 Oh yeah.
00:10:55.000 He doesn't need to go up.
00:10:56.000 People are in your show.
00:10:57.000 But I wonder what, I think he's still, I don't know if he's going up and doing half
00:11:02.000 an hour.
00:11:03.000 He might even be doing just like the 10 minutes or whatever.
00:11:05.000 I'm just doing a lot of it.
00:11:06.000 I mean, standup becomes such a different thing at different points in your career.
00:11:11.000 So to him, like a 30 minutes, that might be nothing.
00:11:14.000 Yeah.
00:11:15.000 But I think they also value the 10 minute spot.
00:11:20.000 Cause I think he values like not being able to do as much so he can only work on like.
00:11:25.000 He's some new 10, write it out and recite it better.
00:11:28.000 But he's, yeah, he's very, you know, the way he does it is very methodical for sure.
00:11:34.000 Well, I think it's thought out.
00:11:35.000 I think we shouldn't be so obsessed with time.
00:11:39.000 I think it should be like, Hey, go up there.
00:11:41.000 See how you do.
00:11:42.000 I'll be watching the whole thing.
00:11:43.000 Just leave whenever you got to leave.
00:11:45.000 Like everyone's like 10 minutes.
00:11:47.000 You do 15.
00:11:48.000 You do 12.
00:11:49.000 It's like, who really cares?
00:11:50.000 Like that's on some shows it's important, but it's like 10 comics.
00:11:55.000 Yeah.
00:11:56.000 Just, you just don't want people to go over.
00:11:58.000 Yeah.
00:11:59.000 But some people need that.
00:12:00.000 They grew up with that and that they need to know how long they're doing.
00:12:03.000 Yeah.
00:12:04.000 And then if they miss, you mean like if you're headlining?
00:12:07.000 No, just in general, just like, yeah.
00:12:11.000 Time.
00:12:12.000 Why is it so strict?
00:12:14.000 Because there's, I mean, they're trying to get so many people into the show in a limited
00:12:18.000 amount of time.
00:12:19.000 Yeah.
00:12:20.000 Yeah, I guess so.
00:12:21.000 But like, yeah, I mean, it helps to get the show moving, but why do they have time limits?
00:12:26.000 Why can't every comic do an hour?
00:12:28.000 There used to be a show when I started doing comedy and it was in a weed vape lounge in
00:12:34.000 Toronto that doesn't even exist anymore.
00:12:36.000 It was called Village Vapor Lounge.
00:12:37.000 It was like in the gay area. 1.00
00:12:39.000 And every Sunday they would have a show at 1 p.m. called do an hour dummy.
00:12:46.000 And only like four comics would show up.
00:12:48.000 But you just do an hour or try to a lot of people would bail after like 20 minutes because
00:12:54.000 there's all open micers.
00:12:55.000 I would try to do the full hour, just like make it up, do whatever, do crowd work.
00:13:02.000 There'd be like one audience member.
00:13:04.000 It was basically doing it for no one.
00:13:05.000 It was crazy.
00:13:06.000 Yeah.
00:13:07.000 It's like I could have done this at home.
00:13:08.000 But I want to bring that back.
00:13:10.000 Just do it.
00:13:11.000 Everybody do an hour.
00:13:12.000 Every comic on the show do an hour.
00:13:14.000 It's a five hour show.
00:13:15.000 It's five comics. 0.97
00:13:17.000 It's ridiculous. 0.75
00:13:18.000 Yeah. 0.88
00:13:19.000 It's kind of fun.
00:13:20.000 Consumable or good for business.
00:13:22.000 No, no.
00:13:23.000 That's why we have time limits, bro.
00:13:25.000 I don't think you need it for every show.
00:13:27.000 Do you go over?
00:13:28.000 Do you go over?
00:13:29.000 No.
00:13:30.000 I just think like some shows, it's necessary.
00:13:32.000 Like South America, how they don't have like, like nobody stops at this red light. 1.00
00:13:35.000 Just fucking keep going. 0.98
00:13:36.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:13:37.000 I think it should be more free flowing.
00:13:38.000 And then you'll have more organic sets and people.
00:13:40.000 Like you should have like a time max.
00:13:43.000 And like, oh, if you do 15, that means, you know.
00:13:46.000 Well, I think 10 is the max when they say 10 minutes.
00:13:49.000 It's supposed to be the max.
00:13:50.000 You're supposed to like wrap it up at nine.
00:13:52.000 Yeah.
00:13:53.000 But it's not like you can go under and then.
00:13:55.000 You could if you want.
00:13:56.000 Right.
00:13:57.000 But you have to let them know.
00:13:58.000 But why would anybody want to do less comedy?
00:14:01.000 Well, because they're not very good and they're struggling.
00:14:04.000 Yeah.
00:14:05.000 And now you want them up there for 10 minutes.
00:14:06.000 Are you on the shows with those people?
00:14:09.000 I mean, sometimes I book them on the regular show every Tuesday at the Vulcan.
00:14:15.000 Yeah.
00:14:16.000 But no, I think I think it's just like like the host might not be there and watching like
00:14:22.000 he's expecting.
00:14:23.000 I remember that next time.
00:14:24.000 I'm going to be like, Ben, you did 20 minutes.
00:14:26.000 I thought there was no, no term limits.
00:14:29.000 No term limits.
00:14:30.000 Yeah, I think.
00:14:31.000 No time limits.
00:14:32.000 No term limits.
00:14:33.000 I think it's I think it's unnecessarily rigid.
00:14:36.000 Rigid.
00:14:37.000 Enforced.
00:14:38.000 Yeah.
00:14:39.000 Yeah.
00:14:40.000 I mean, at Mothership, it's because there's so many, you know, there's a lot of comics
00:14:44.000 are trying to get in.
00:14:45.000 And then the shows.
00:14:47.000 They run pretty long, though.
00:14:49.000 Like this.
00:14:50.000 It's not like they're.
00:14:51.000 Yeah.
00:14:52.000 Like an hour and 10 minute show.
00:14:53.000 It's like a.
00:14:54.000 Yeah.
00:14:55.000 It's a.
00:14:56.000 It's hard to convey how much time you want people to do without setting a limit.
00:14:59.000 And then people are just going to do up to that time.
00:15:02.000 Yeah.
00:15:03.000 Yeah.
00:15:04.000 It's crazy that you thought about this.
00:15:06.000 Yeah, I know.
00:15:07.000 I just think people are too obsessed with the time.
00:15:10.000 Like who?
00:15:11.000 Like the people.
00:15:12.000 Like comedians.
00:15:13.000 Like, how much do you have?
00:15:14.000 I have 30 minutes.
00:15:15.000 It's like who.
00:15:16.000 Like sometimes it'll work in like liberal rooms and not.
00:15:19.000 And like there's so many more valuable traits of a comedian than how much time they
00:15:25.000 can do. 0.94
00:15:26.000 I'd rather see someone kill for five than bomb for 30. 0.98
00:15:29.000 Biggest comedian in the world. 0.98
00:15:30.000 He does.
00:15:31.000 It's not the example that was in my head.
00:15:38.000 Yeah.
00:15:39.000 But I know what you mean.
00:15:40.000 But like also.
00:15:41.000 Yeah.
00:15:42.000 Like.
00:15:43.000 But what you're saying is more. 1.00
00:15:44.000 You just want to be ruthless and be like, this guy sucks. 0.99
00:15:45.000 He should do two minutes. 0.99
00:15:46.000 This guy's great.
00:15:47.000 Do 20.
00:15:48.000 This guy is brutal.
00:15:50.000 Do four.
00:15:51.000 Which is even funnier.
00:15:52.000 Actually.
00:15:53.000 Really.
00:15:54.000 You want to be stricter with times.
00:15:55.000 No.
00:15:56.000 You know, I want people to.
00:15:57.000 And I should only be doing two.
00:15:59.000 You should feel like it should be over.
00:16:01.000 You should be like, oh, OK, I'm done now.
00:16:03.000 You shouldn't just like struggle.
00:16:06.000 Like.
00:16:07.000 Um.
00:16:08.000 It's like driving a manual car.
00:16:10.000 You just.
00:16:11.000 Without putting the clutch in or something.
00:16:13.000 You just feel it.
00:16:14.000 Yeah.
00:16:15.000 Is that what you.
00:16:16.000 I don't know.
00:16:17.000 I don't know about this theory on comedy.
00:16:19.000 No more time limits.
00:16:20.000 I just think.
00:16:21.000 Everybody just do what they want.
00:16:22.000 I think like 10 minutes.
00:16:24.000 Everyone does 10 minutes.
00:16:25.000 Oh, everyone.
00:16:26.000 Had 10 minutes exactly to say.
00:16:28.000 Some people had more.
00:16:29.000 Some people have less.
00:16:30.000 Yeah.
00:16:31.000 But people go under and over.
00:16:32.000 It's just.
00:16:33.000 It's like.
00:16:34.000 Yeah.
00:16:35.000 Marker.
00:16:36.000 You're not supposed to go like four minutes over.
00:16:37.000 It's not a marker.
00:16:38.000 It's a deadline.
00:16:39.000 It's strict.
00:16:40.000 Have you gone over the time limit before and gotten like in trouble or something?
00:16:46.000 I'm sure I have.
00:16:48.000 It's not like my.
00:16:49.000 It's not like what I do, though.
00:16:51.000 It's not your thing.
00:16:52.000 It's a black comic thing.
00:16:54.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:16:56.000 Time works a little different for them.
00:16:57.000 Yeah, they're more organic.
00:16:59.000 That's what I like.
00:17:01.000 I like when I like when you tell a guy to do 10.
00:17:04.000 He does 35.
00:17:05.000 Hmm.
00:17:06.000 That's what you like.
00:17:07.000 Maybe 14.
00:17:09.000 14.
00:17:10.000 Hey, sometimes I don't give people the right amount of time.
00:17:13.000 I mean, if you're murdering.
00:17:14.000 Yeah.
00:17:15.000 But if you're murdering, you also are like, hey, that was 10 minutes.
00:17:17.000 I'm done.
00:17:18.000 Yeah.
00:17:19.000 You don't want to risk it.
00:17:20.000 If you're doing if you're doing 14, you bombed.
00:17:21.000 Probably.
00:17:22.000 Most likely.
00:17:23.000 Yeah.
00:17:24.000 Comedy is as a wicked mistress.
00:17:28.000 Yeah.
00:17:29.000 You still have the spreadsheet.
00:17:32.000 It's not really a spreadsheet.
00:17:34.000 You gave it up. 0.99
00:17:35.000 It's more like three columns made that shit up, didn't you? 0.99
00:17:38.000 No, you had it at one point. 0.99
00:17:42.000 I still use it.
00:17:43.000 I don't have a notebook. 0.99
00:17:44.000 You only write shit in the. 1.00
00:17:46.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:17:47.000 Graph paper.
00:17:48.000 Yeah.
00:17:49.000 You just have a great.
00:17:50.000 You have like a notebook.
00:17:51.000 But instead of lines, just graphs.
00:17:52.000 Yeah.
00:17:53.000 Just a number links to my documents.
00:17:57.000 Yeah.
00:17:58.000 I have a notebook.
00:18:00.000 Oh, I mean, I have several notebooks, but you use a notebook to write your set list
00:18:05.000 or do you not do set lists?
00:18:06.000 I do set lists on the phone.
00:18:09.000 Um, notebook I use for.
00:18:11.000 That's what I do.
00:18:12.000 Just kind of brainstorming mostly.
00:18:13.000 Or like reviewing.
00:18:14.000 That's good to write.
00:18:15.000 Reviewing.
00:18:16.000 Um, sets.
00:18:17.000 Yeah.
00:18:18.000 Um, or just, you just sit and critique yourself.
00:18:22.000 Sometimes.
00:18:23.000 Yeah.
00:18:24.000 It's good.
00:18:25.000 Like a lot.
00:18:26.000 I should do it.
00:18:27.000 I should do that every day.
00:18:28.000 I wake up and. 0.99
00:18:29.000 What the fuck was this? 0.99
00:18:30.000 I don't know. 0.99
00:18:31.000 It just seems a little.
00:18:32.000 Yeah.
00:18:33.000 No, it's.
00:18:34.000 I mean, it probably.
00:18:35.000 I don't know about healthy.
00:18:36.000 I don't think anything about being good at something is healthy necessarily.
00:18:39.000 But if you're not good at anything, that's probably not healthy either.
00:18:42.000 And then you're home.
00:18:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:18:45.000 And you fucking. 1.00
00:18:46.000 McDonald's or you want to fucking do heroin on the street? 1.00
00:18:48.000 You got. 1.00
00:18:49.000 I'm a fucking liberal. 1.00
00:18:50.000 I'm a compassionate liberal. 1.00
00:18:51.000 You don't want to do.
00:18:52.000 You don't want to work at McDonald's.
00:18:53.000 You stay there.
00:18:54.000 I'll find some tax dollars for you.
00:18:56.000 You got to go to the homeless.
00:18:58.000 Be like, hey, do some time.
00:19:00.000 Do five minutes.
00:19:01.000 Exactly.
00:19:02.000 Do a homeless comedy show with no time limits.
00:19:06.000 It'll help.
00:19:08.000 Creek in the cave.
00:19:09.000 Free food.
00:19:10.000 If you for homeless people that are willing to do a five minute spot. 0.99
00:19:16.000 Or just do kill Tony with homeless people. 0.99
00:19:18.000 That's what we already do. 0.97
00:19:20.000 Yeah, but they're not like.
00:19:23.000 Like you don't.
00:19:24.000 I don't know.
00:19:25.000 You don't need a police officer on stage yet.
00:19:28.000 You know, they got patted down.
00:19:29.000 They get vetted though a little bit like they're going to walk in as a metal detector.
00:19:33.000 If you're like a heroin addict and you walked in to sign up for kill Tony like they would
00:19:37.000 know and probably be like, no, you can't do it. 0.96
00:19:39.000 But if but if you wanted that, if you made an ad where you're like all homeless people of Austin, Texas, free food and drinks.
00:19:50.000 If you come to and perform comedy, you just have to do.
00:19:54.000 They need a purpose like no time limit.
00:19:57.000 Maybe we could find a purpose for them where they aren't so outward with what their thoughts are because I don't really want to know what their thoughts are.
00:20:04.000 I just want them to get better.
00:20:06.000 Maybe they could take up something that's easier to ignore like painting.
00:20:10.000 I think the only way to make them better is to euthanize just like have like a like a bottom rung that just gets murdered.
00:20:22.000 But I mean, I don't know.
00:20:25.000 I don't know.
00:20:26.000 I don't think about homeless people.
00:20:27.000 I think that they don't deserve.
00:20:29.000 I was still thinking about my comedy time limit thing.
00:20:34.000 Yeah.
00:20:35.000 You.
00:20:36.000 So what?
00:20:37.000 How much?
00:20:38.000 So how much material?
00:20:39.000 So if somebody is like, how much material do you have?
00:20:40.000 You just say.
00:20:42.000 I have a lot of 50,000.
00:20:44.000 50,000 characters.
00:20:46.000 Yeah.
00:20:47.000 They're all Chinese. 0.98
00:20:49.000 500,000 characters in Korea.
00:20:51.000 Yeah.
00:20:52.000 Your set list is just on one of those scrolls. 1.00
00:20:56.000 This Korean fucking. 1.00
00:20:58.000 I mean. 1.00
00:20:59.000 Not a Jewish thing too.
00:21:01.000 Yeah, I guess so.
00:21:02.000 It's all.
00:21:03.000 Do they have scrolls for Chinese?
00:21:05.000 Yeah, I think so. 1.00
00:21:06.000 For Korean and shit. 1.00
00:21:07.000 They look different. 1.00
00:21:09.000 Maybe the dragon.
00:21:10.000 Yeah.
00:21:11.000 It's more ornate.
00:21:13.000 Do you think I'm racist towards Chinese people?
00:21:17.000 No.
00:21:19.000 Are you?
00:21:20.000 I think you're racist to lots of people.
00:21:23.000 Equally.
00:21:24.000 Yeah.
00:21:25.000 Yeah.
00:21:26.000 I think.
00:21:27.000 But for fun only.
00:21:28.000 Yeah.
00:21:29.000 I mean, it doesn't affect your day to day.
00:21:32.000 Depends if I had a coffee or not that day.
00:21:35.000 I mean.
00:21:36.000 I found a way to be in a good place with black people.
00:21:40.000 I was a little rude to Uber recently that I was like, drop me off on the side.
00:21:46.000 I have a joke about this, but like she literally was.
00:21:49.000 She literally said no speaking English.
00:21:52.000 No speaking. 1.00
00:21:53.000 I hate that shit. 1.00
00:21:54.000 Cause you know, they understand what you stop left. 1.00
00:21:57.000 Right.
00:21:58.000 They understand the basics, but she's like no speaking. 1.00
00:22:00.000 And I was like, you better fucking learn speaking. 1.00
00:22:02.000 I'm the fucking. 1.00
00:22:03.000 You said that. 1.00
00:22:05.000 Yeah.
00:22:06.000 Yeah.
00:22:07.000 They should.
00:22:08.000 No, I didn't say it like that.
00:22:09.000 I was like, well, you know, you should really learn English.
00:22:11.000 You should really learn English.
00:22:13.000 And then when I was getting up.
00:22:14.000 When you're talking to English speakers all day, you don't want to pick something up. 1.00
00:22:18.000 At the very least, you should learn English for, you know, to, for your inevitable ice
00:22:23.000 arrest.
00:22:24.000 Yeah.
00:22:25.000 So you can have a, I guess they do.
00:22:26.000 I have.
00:22:27.000 I know.
00:22:28.000 Yeah.
00:22:29.000 I guess they do speak Spanish.
00:22:30.000 I think.
00:22:31.000 Yeah.
00:22:32.000 I mean, some people like foreigners, they'll be like, I don't want to participate in your 1.00
00:22:37.000 social game.
00:22:38.000 So I'm just going to say, I don't speak English.
00:22:40.000 But a lot of these people are taking jobs from the homeless.
00:22:43.000 Like you want a homeless Uber driver? 0.53
00:22:46.000 Well, he wouldn't have been homeless if a Mexican didn't steal his dad. 1.00
00:22:49.000 So now he has a job forever.
00:22:52.000 But that's like one of the things where you're like, Oh, would you rather be homeless or
00:22:55.000 like working at McDonald's? 1.00
00:22:56.000 Like the fucking immigrants are like riding on the top of a train for like a week. 1.00
00:23:04.000 And like working with cartels just to do that. 1.00
00:23:08.000 So I think that it is.
00:23:10.000 And then they're them.
00:23:11.000 Yeah.
00:23:12.000 Oh, sure.
00:23:13.000 How's that?
00:23:15.000 My wife is a solar salesman. 1.00
00:23:18.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:23:21.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:23:22.000 It's a package.
00:23:25.000 It scared the shit out of me. 0.54
00:23:28.000 Why is the solar sale?
00:23:30.000 I don't know.
00:23:31.000 I thought because my wife lost her key or needed to get back in.
00:23:37.000 Yeah.
00:23:38.000 You might have had to get up.
00:23:39.000 I know.
00:23:40.000 That would have been awful.
00:23:41.000 Yeah, I think I think comedy, you know, like I don't think that I took a picture next
00:23:51.000 to David Lucas. 0.99
00:23:52.000 I look fucking anorexic. 0.99
00:23:54.000 I look like I look like but I think I'm getting thinner. 1.00
00:23:58.000 I keep getting thinner and then fatter and then thinner again.
00:24:00.000 Well, maybe you could just say you're big, not fat.
00:24:03.000 You're just a big guy. 0.99
00:24:05.000 I'm fat, bro. 0.97
00:24:06.000 Even if you got skinny, like I'm technically obese, you'd still be a big guy.
00:24:10.000 So it's not like you have an incentive to get small.
00:24:13.000 If I was skinny, I wouldn't be fat.
00:24:16.000 I don't like fat.
00:24:18.000 I don't like fat people. 0.66
00:24:20.000 You don't think that's how you are naturally. 1.00
00:24:22.000 You're just like a fat guy. 0.94
00:24:23.000 No, I've been thin, dude. 0.99
00:24:25.000 Oh, really?
00:24:26.000 Yeah.
00:24:27.000 Like last year, like literally gaining 50 pounds moving here.
00:24:30.000 I just think your body is just kind of big and that's great.
00:24:34.000 You know, I wish I had a big body.
00:24:36.000 It's horrific.
00:24:37.000 It was a horrible body.
00:24:38.000 You have a lot of stuff going on.
00:24:39.000 Like I'm just like easily compartmentalized.
00:24:42.000 It just put me away, stash me up.
00:24:45.000 You don't eat.
00:24:46.000 You just eat kimchi.
00:24:48.000 I eat.
00:24:49.000 Yeah, no.
00:24:50.000 I did go to your house and kimchi was the only thing in your fridge.
00:24:54.000 That's because I eat out.
00:24:55.000 I do DoorDash a lot.
00:24:58.000 So convenient.
00:24:59.000 Did you ever work DoorDash?
00:25:01.000 Yeah.
00:25:02.000 When you first moved to Austin?
00:25:03.000 Maybe.
00:25:04.000 More in New York.
00:25:05.000 I had so much money when I moved here.
00:25:08.000 From? 1.00
00:25:09.000 From COVID government shit. 1.00
00:25:11.000 Oh. 1.00
00:25:12.000 I was loaded.
00:25:13.000 What's loaded to you?
00:25:14.000 Like $3,000 in the bank. 0.99
00:25:19.000 That's fucking almost homeless. 0.99
00:25:21.000 You think so? 0.99
00:25:22.000 That's like a month.
00:25:23.000 That's less than a month.
00:25:26.000 Well, now that's like rent.
00:25:29.000 Yeah.
00:25:30.000 But back then I was living in a van.
00:25:33.000 Very little was going out.
00:25:35.000 Yeah.
00:25:36.000 $3,000 was enough for me.
00:25:38.000 I had food stamps.
00:25:39.000 But then you, yeah.
00:25:40.000 Then I remember when you were on Kill Tony, you used to, I feel like, didn't Tony used
00:25:44.000 to ask you how much money you, like, you're like, how much do you have now? 0.96
00:25:47.000 Or some shit. 0.99
00:25:48.000 Probably. 0.99
00:25:49.000 You'd be like 20 grand.
00:25:50.000 Yeah.
00:25:51.000 Then you got your first apartment and stuff.
00:25:53.000 Which is pretty sweet.
00:25:55.000 Yeah.
00:25:56.000 I think it's not that much more.
00:25:57.000 Comedy is really, um, a wild ride.
00:26:01.000 And like, if you can do it, like a lot of people, like you meet them and you're like,
00:26:05.000 there's no, this is not gonna, you're not gonna, you know what I mean?
00:26:09.000 You get two minutes.
00:26:10.000 Yeah.
00:26:11.000 A lot of two minute open micers out there.
00:26:15.000 They just don't, they just have no idea, like, how fucking like long the road, like,
00:26:23.000 you know what I mean? 0.75
00:26:24.000 Like they have to keep doing it.
00:26:25.000 Like they, people just think like, oh, like for instance, like you got on Kill Tony, you
00:26:29.000 did your minute.
00:26:30.000 Was it the first time you did that, that you became a regular?
00:26:34.000 No.
00:26:35.000 Like third time.
00:26:36.000 So third time. 0.67
00:26:37.000 That's how many weeks did you wait for that?
00:26:40.000 Probably like 20, 15, 10.
00:26:44.000 Uh, I got here in March and May.
00:26:46.000 So like two months.
00:26:47.000 Two months.
00:26:48.000 So, but you went every week.
00:26:49.000 Yeah.
00:26:50.000 And I've been doing it 10 years.
00:26:51.000 So that's still like eight.
00:26:52.000 Yeah.
00:26:53.000 So you already did it 10 years. 0.98
00:26:54.000 Then you fucking did like eight, eight weeks waiting around third spot. 0.96
00:26:59.000 Then once you're regular, you had to come every week. 0.99
00:27:02.000 You know what I mean?
00:27:03.000 Like people like comics just think like, okay, if I could just get this one line.
00:27:06.000 If I could just get this one little thing.
00:27:08.000 Yeah.
00:27:09.000 Then it'll, it's like, no, that's just, if you get that, you're going to have to actually
00:27:13.000 do something a lot. 1.00
00:27:14.000 You're going to have to do way more shit. 1.00
00:27:16.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:27:17.000 That's why like people that get successful right away and then they go headlining. 0.99
00:27:20.000 It's like, fuck, now you have to do 50 minutes. 0.98
00:27:23.000 It's like, you just started. 0.99
00:27:25.000 It's like, even if you get success that early, it's what's the point?
00:27:28.000 Right.
00:27:29.000 Like how early?
00:27:30.000 Like who?
00:27:31.000 Like two years in like Preacher Lawson.
00:27:33.000 Preacher Lawson is a great comic, but like people like that.
00:27:37.000 Like Preacher Lawson is, was only two years in when you know, like people like the people
00:27:42.000 that have like a, like this guy's great.
00:27:44.000 I mean, you don't think that people who are two years, or like TikTok comics.
00:27:49.000 It's like, I'm agreeing with you.
00:27:52.000 Uh, yeah.
00:27:53.000 Like, um, agreeing with me.
00:27:55.000 Yeah.
00:27:56.000 Oh, like I thought you got to keep doing it.
00:27:58.000 Like if you're two years in and you get success, like some people have done, it's like, there's
00:28:04.000 no way to capitalize on it.
00:28:06.000 Cause you're like, I have to headline now.
00:28:08.000 So it's like, you got to do more of the thing that you wanted to go.
00:28:10.000 Yeah.
00:28:11.000 That's the thing too.
00:28:12.000 It's like, I'm two years in.
00:28:13.000 I'm going to move to Austin and try to get on Kill Tony.
00:28:15.000 It's like, yeah, you should just go to your town and do like eight years there and like
00:28:21.000 get some sort of popularity or some, some level of success, or at least learn whatever motivation
00:28:27.000 you need to write.
00:28:28.000 Some people need to be in New York to be like, Oh, I'm so close to making it.
00:28:31.000 Whatever helps motivate you write more jokes.
00:28:34.000 Yeah, it is really, um, you need a lot of jokes, especially if you're going to be posting
00:28:39.000 jokes all the time, or if you're going to put out specials, like you kind of. 0.94
00:28:44.000 Once you're actually touring and you're on the circuit, like you have to fucking get 0.96
00:28:49.000 rid of material. 0.99
00:28:50.000 You can't go back to some city like seven months later with the same fucking act. 0.99
00:28:57.000 Cause half the audience likes already saw you. 0.99
00:29:00.000 Yeah. 0.66
00:29:01.000 I mean, it's a, or you cancer cell.
00:29:04.000 You got to constantly renew or you can.
00:29:07.000 I'm like music.
00:29:08.000 And then like Louie talks about that as like, you can do it like the first time.
00:29:13.000 Then they want to come back and see you.
00:29:14.000 And then they see that you do the same thing.
00:29:16.000 And then they're like, okay, that's what that guy does.
00:29:19.000 And then they don't come back.
00:29:21.000 They don't come.
00:29:22.000 They don't come.
00:29:23.000 So you kind of have to, you have to be willing to burn a lot of material.
00:29:27.000 Yeah.
00:29:28.000 That's comedy.
00:29:29.000 Cause like comedy isn't like music.
00:29:30.000 Cause like comedy, you hear a joke and then you like know it, but music, you like, you
00:29:35.000 want to feel it again.
00:29:37.000 Yeah.
00:29:38.000 Well, music's like easier to recreate.
00:29:40.000 Yeah.
00:29:41.000 Like a joke sometimes only works like a hundred times and then it just starts getting weirder
00:29:45.000 or you don't tell it the same or it's a weird, the same.
00:29:49.000 You learn a lot about people's brains and words and ideas just by like how they handle
00:29:55.000 it.
00:29:56.000 Being up there, like seeing how they react and then be like, oh, they're done with that
00:30:00.000 one.
00:30:01.000 Yeah.
00:30:02.000 Yeah.
00:30:03.000 I mean, it's, it's a tough, like every show is kind of different.
00:30:06.000 Like, you know, you're meeting people for the first time.
00:30:10.000 Um, no matter what, like every show you do.
00:30:14.000 So you're kind of, you know, you, you really have to learn how to be yourself, like let
00:30:19.000 people know who you are like quickly.
00:30:21.000 Mm hmm.
00:30:22.000 You know what I mean?
00:30:23.000 Yeah.
00:30:24.000 And then it's hard to be like consistent with that. 1.00
00:30:25.000 Cause sometimes you're like, fuck these people. 0.99
00:30:27.000 I don't want to be myself, you know, but you kind of have to. 0.99
00:30:31.000 So it's a bit of a, yeah.
00:30:34.000 Yeah.
00:30:35.000 But Austin's like the best scene.
00:30:37.000 I think it is the best scene.
00:30:39.000 I mean, I don't know if it has the most shows, but it, I think it has the best shows.
00:30:43.000 Yeah.
00:30:44.000 Good comedy ratio of comedians to audience.
00:30:47.000 Like obviously if you're at the cellar in New York, it's packed, it's sold out, but
00:30:52.000 the vibes are way different than here.
00:30:54.000 The vibes here are like, people are like, this is, I came here for this.
00:30:59.000 It's the perfect crowd.
00:31:00.000 Yeah.
00:31:01.000 But then you go to like Roscoe's and it's like a totally different crowd from mothership
00:31:06.000 or like sunset.
00:31:07.000 Like they're all people who are just kind of like, I guess, I guess, I guess you can say
00:31:13.000 that.
00:31:14.000 And they're like sarcastically cheering.
00:31:15.000 They're more like, it's more like a Brooklyn-y vibe.
00:31:18.000 Yeah.
00:31:19.000 And they're confused.
00:31:20.000 They don't know who they are.
00:31:21.000 Cause if you try to talk to them like a liberal, they're like, we're in Texas.
00:31:25.000 But then if you try to talk to them like they're Texan, they're like, that's actually very wildly
00:31:29.000 offensive.
00:31:30.000 It's like weird.
00:31:31.000 They just choose whatever.
00:31:33.000 So you just have to like, get them on your side.
00:31:36.000 Yeah.
00:31:37.000 I'm not a huge fan of, um, like, like I would do like, you know how people are like eight,
00:31:45.000 I did like eight shows tonight.
00:31:46.000 It's like, dude, it's like, it's crazy.
00:31:49.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:31:50.000 Like, I guess if you're doing open mics and you're still trying to like, get your shit
00:31:54.000 together, but at a certain point it's like, okay, three shows.
00:31:57.000 I think if I do three shows, I'm like, that's a good amount of shows.
00:32:00.000 Yeah.
00:32:01.000 But they're also doing shorter sets.
00:32:02.000 They're doing five minutes, right?
00:32:03.000 Yeah.
00:32:04.000 But still five, eight, five minutes.
00:32:06.000 I don't know if that's helping.
00:32:08.000 Yeah.
00:32:09.000 Unless you're filming every single set and trying to go viral every single time, which
00:32:12.000 is really what some comics have started doing.
00:32:14.000 Cause they're just going viral. 1.00
00:32:15.000 Like at open mics saying wild shit. 0.99
00:32:18.000 Have you seen those videos? 1.00
00:32:19.000 A little bit.
00:32:20.000 It's like a comic.
00:32:21.000 I'll just have like 300,000 likes on a video of them in a room with like four people bombing.
00:32:26.000 You're like, this is crazy.
00:32:27.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:32:28.000 But that's, that's where shit's at though. 0.98
00:32:30.000 Like, I mean, I've, I see a lot more people with bigger rooms. 0.98
00:32:35.000 Do you think Austin's like, you love, like you're going to stay here.
00:32:39.000 You'd stay here no matter what.
00:32:42.000 Um, no, I'd move.
00:32:46.000 Did you, um, it's kind of comfortable here.
00:32:49.000 We don't have to talk about this, but I did hear that.
00:32:52.000 I don't know if this is true, but were you like robbed?
00:32:55.000 Robbed.
00:32:56.000 Yeah.
00:32:57.000 You were like robbed, but for like something really nice.
00:33:00.000 Yeah.
00:33:01.000 That's super sad.
00:33:02.000 Yeah.
00:33:03.000 I mean, can you tell us what happened?
00:33:05.000 Yeah.
00:33:06.000 Hooker. 1.00
00:33:07.000 Uh, I had sex with her. 1.00
00:33:09.000 She wasn't, I didn't know she was a hooker. 1.00
00:33:10.000 I didn't give her any money on purpose, but, uh, I invited her to my home. 0.99
00:33:16.000 Uh, it was a hooker. 1.00
00:33:18.000 She drugged my food. 0.99
00:33:20.000 I ordered food.
00:33:21.000 I passed out.
00:33:23.000 She stole my Rolex and like $20,000 in cash.
00:33:28.000 Wow. 1.00
00:33:29.000 Holy fuck. 1.00
00:33:30.000 When was this? 1.00
00:33:32.000 It was like two years ago, a year and a half ago.
00:33:34.000 Oh, okay.
00:33:35.000 Okay.
00:33:36.000 That's, uh, I thought somebody told me you got like mugged like on the way home.
00:33:40.000 No, that would be worse, right?
00:33:43.000 I guess so.
00:33:46.000 That's crazy.
00:33:47.000 You got drugged.
00:33:48.000 Yeah. 0.87
00:33:49.000 Did it where you, did you at least have sex? 0.75
00:33:51.000 Yes. 0.98
00:33:52.000 So you kind of deserved it.
00:33:54.000 I guess so.
00:33:55.000 So you didn't want to pay up.
00:33:57.000 No, she didn't tell me to give her any money. 1.00
00:34:00.000 She took a shit at my toilet. 1.00
00:34:02.000 She took a shit at your house. 1.00
00:34:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:34:04.000 Drugged you and then stole your shit. 1.00
00:34:06.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:34:07.000 And were you ever like, yo, should I call the cops or something or no?
00:34:10.000 They arrested her.
00:34:11.000 She's in the court system now. 1.00
00:34:13.000 She's arrested.
00:34:14.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:34:15.000 Did you get your shit back? 1.00
00:34:16.000 Not yet. 1.00
00:34:17.000 What do you mean?
00:34:18.000 Not yet.
00:34:19.000 Like, is it?
00:34:20.000 I haven't got it back.
00:34:21.000 But like somebody has it.
00:34:22.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:34:23.000 God damn, bro. 1.00
00:34:25.000 Sad. 1.00
00:34:26.000 How much was it rolly?
00:34:28.000 I don't want to think about it.
00:34:29.000 I don't want to think about it.
00:34:33.000 It's just, you're, you're not materialistic though.
00:34:37.000 Exactly.
00:34:38.000 If anything, that was like a donation to the homeless.
00:34:43.000 Yeah.
00:34:44.000 I'm involved because I want to be nice to people.
00:34:47.000 It's because you were liberal.
00:34:48.000 I deserve it.
00:34:49.000 Cause I, I'm nice to homeless people.
00:34:51.000 Cause you voted for.
00:34:52.000 Is that how you, was she homeless?
00:34:55.000 No, I don't think so. 1.00
00:34:56.000 God damn. 1.00
00:34:57.000 Damn. 1.00
00:34:58.000 That's scary, dude. 0.99
00:34:59.000 I had a, what are you going to do?
00:35:00.000 There's people out there like that.
00:35:02.000 But, um, you know, overall it's a lot more than I made.
00:35:07.000 Did that make you want to move?
00:35:08.000 Like when that happened?
00:35:09.000 Well, it is like a Texas thing, right? 1.00
00:35:12.000 Like there's a lot of like poor people here and to have sex and steal all your shit. 1.00
00:35:17.000 That's a Texas thing. 1.00
00:35:18.000 People drug each other here a lot.
00:35:20.000 I hear a lot.
00:35:21.000 Jesus.
00:35:22.000 Why?
00:35:23.000 Cause they think that it's okay.
00:35:25.000 And like they're okay with a certain level of violence.
00:35:28.000 Yeah.
00:35:29.000 That doesn't happen as much in New York is what you're saying.
00:35:32.000 I just think it's a thing here.
00:35:34.000 A lot of poor people.
00:35:36.000 Okay with violence, you know?
00:35:39.000 Yeah.
00:35:40.000 But no, I think, uh, anywhere you go, you're going to experience robbers and thieves.
00:35:45.000 Yeah, bro.
00:35:47.000 I don't know.
00:35:48.000 I didn't judge Texas based on that incident.
00:35:51.000 That's tough.
00:35:52.000 Okay.
00:35:53.000 We don't have to talk about it anymore, bro.
00:35:56.000 I'm sorry. 0.99
00:35:57.000 Well, uh, I mean, it's a, yeah, it sucks. 0.96
00:36:00.000 You just want to sit in it. 0.99
00:36:01.000 Just sit on how much it sucks. 0.99
00:36:03.000 I'm over it. 0.86
00:36:04.000 It happened a while ago.
00:36:05.000 It seemed like a different person that was robbed.
00:36:07.000 That's good.
00:36:08.000 You're more careful now.
00:36:11.000 Um, yeah, I guess so.
00:36:13.000 Yeah.
00:36:14.000 No.
00:36:15.000 Yeah.
00:36:16.000 Not at all.
00:36:17.000 Not at all of my life.
00:36:18.000 Just worse. 1.00
00:36:19.000 I don't want to let, uh, let some dumb hooker affect my life. 1.00
00:36:24.000 That's a funny way. 1.00
00:36:26.000 That's a funny sentence. 0.99
00:36:28.000 But yeah, it's, that's fucking crazy, dude. 0.98
00:36:31.000 I would, um, you never safe. 0.98
00:36:34.000 Nothing.
00:36:35.000 I do. 1.00
00:36:36.000 She fucking, what'd she like pull your hand? 1.00
00:36:38.000 Like pull your hand. 1.00
00:36:39.000 I had more money in the safe.
00:36:40.000 I had money outside the safe.
00:36:41.000 Oh, that's pretty baller though.
00:36:43.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:36:44.000 God damn. 0.99
00:36:45.000 So what's, uh, what's your, what are your thoughts on Austin? 0.99
00:36:48.000 You like it here?
00:36:49.000 Um, I think it's, yeah.
00:36:50.000 Um, I think it's, yeah.
00:36:52.000 I mean, like I said, like there's nowhere else to go really.
00:36:58.000 Yeah.
00:36:59.000 Like, unless you want to downgrade your lifestyle to New York.
00:37:01.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:37:02.000 The quality of life sucks. 0.98
00:37:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:37:04.000 Like you can go to nice restaurants and shit, but you're living in like a, in a tiny little 0.97
00:37:08.000 box. 0.97
00:37:09.000 I don't know if I could switch to that now.
00:37:12.000 I think this is the spot.
00:37:13.000 New York is also not as conducive to comedians.
00:37:19.000 They're kind of like a walled garden.
00:37:22.000 It's not like a slippery slope of up and down this.
00:37:25.000 Comedians here are like a, like the upper class or something.
00:37:31.000 Like if you're a comic in Austin, it's kind of like, Oh, comedy.
00:37:34.000 Cause it's like, like people see comics as like helping Austin be a place, like be a
00:37:40.000 cool place.
00:37:41.000 Yeah.
00:37:42.000 Well, I think it's more about just individuals and celebrities that people like, like Tim
00:37:45.000 Dillon, like who cares where he lives?
00:37:47.000 People just like him for sure.
00:37:49.000 But like, even if you're not Tim Dillon, like if you're just like me or like somebody
00:37:52.000 else and this is like, Oh, you moved here for comedy.
00:37:55.000 That's sick.
00:37:56.000 Like, Oh yeah. 1.00
00:37:57.000 Fucking comedy is sick. 0.99
00:37:58.000 I heard it's really popping here. 1.00
00:38:00.000 Like everybody kind of knows it's like a vibe.
00:38:02.000 It's, it's more of a vibe than the tech thing now.
00:38:05.000 I think, I mean, there's more tech.
00:38:07.000 It's like a, it's like a Woodstock festival that just is forever ongoing.
00:38:13.000 Yeah.
00:38:14.000 It's, it's, I think it's the best.
00:38:16.000 I think that mothership is really, really just the way they've designed the club perfectly.
00:38:23.000 And the, you know, the acoustics and the way it's run.
00:38:28.000 I think it's just great.
00:38:29.000 Um, you know, there aren't really, it's kind of like a one of a kind thing.
00:38:33.000 I think, I mean, comedy stores, the most, the closest to, I mean, you know what I mean?
00:38:40.000 I think every city should have it like an upper tier, like heaven.
00:38:44.000 Yeah.
00:38:45.000 And then everyone can work towards it.
00:38:46.000 Yeah.
00:38:47.000 They should open.
00:38:48.000 Maybe.
00:38:49.000 I mean, eventually maybe they will.
00:38:50.000 Maybe they will open multiple ones in different, in different spots.
00:38:54.000 I don't think that that's a bad idea at all.
00:38:56.000 I think.
00:38:57.000 The comedy, comedy mothership, what's great about it is like people there, like Joe Rogan.
00:39:01.000 Yeah.
00:39:02.000 You can't just have like a bunch of, you know, like famous people in every city.
00:39:08.000 No.
00:39:09.000 But I think, uh, it's good.
00:39:10.000 It would probably be different.
00:39:11.000 Like it wouldn't be the exact same, but it would, you know what I mean?
00:39:14.000 Like it would probably be more focused around touring, like comics who are, you know what
00:39:22.000 I'm saying?
00:39:23.000 Would go there from like regulars would go and tour for a week.
00:39:28.000 Yeah.
00:39:29.000 And it would be like, it'd be less people, but it'd be like three of us go with, you know,
00:39:34.000 so like whoever that's killing it and, um, sell it all out.
00:39:39.000 Like it wouldn't run the same.
00:39:40.000 It would, they wouldn't, maybe they'd only have one room kind of thing.
00:39:43.000 You know what I mean?
00:39:44.000 Yeah.
00:39:45.000 Yeah.
00:39:46.000 I think that'd be dope.
00:39:47.000 They wouldn't, they obviously wouldn't have Kill Tony on stuff like that.
00:39:49.000 That's the way comedy clubs should be.
00:39:51.000 What did you think of Kill Tony at Vulcan?
00:39:53.000 It was fun.
00:39:58.000 It was great.
00:39:59.000 Yeah.
00:40:00.000 Were you on both shows?
00:40:02.000 No, just one.
00:40:03.000 The late?
00:40:04.000 Yeah.
00:40:10.000 Yeah.
00:40:11.000 Lingering cough. 1.00
00:40:13.000 Damn. 1.00
00:40:14.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:40:15.000 I mean, I, dude, I wouldn't, if I told 25 year old me like, yo, Austin, but the, and
00:40:28.000 I'd be like, where I wouldn't even know.
00:40:30.000 But then I'd be like, Oh, but like Rogan's there.
00:40:32.000 Tony's there.
00:40:33.000 Like, I'd be like, that's sick.
00:40:34.000 It's like, you know, I think it's, it doesn't really for the type of comedy that I'm doing. 0.88
00:40:40.000 Like if you're doing fucking really woke, like experimental hypothetical, you know, all 0.99
00:40:48.000 that kind of bullshit. 0.99
00:40:49.000 Like, yeah, obviously go to New York where people are going to fucking appreciate it. 1.00
00:40:52.000 Nobody's going to appreciate it here. 0.97
00:40:54.000 Yeah.
00:40:55.000 I think it's good to have multiple cities.
00:40:57.000 Everyone finds their own lane.
00:40:58.000 Would you want to live in like multiple places?
00:41:00.000 Yeah.
00:41:01.000 Yeah.
00:41:02.000 Tim Dillon here, New York, LA.
00:41:04.000 Yeah.
00:41:05.000 That's pretty much it.
00:41:06.000 There's nowhere else.
00:41:07.000 I like some of the like secondary celebrity class of comedians.
00:41:12.000 Yeah.
00:41:13.000 That's good that it opened up. 0.90
00:41:14.000 Like some people are shitting on Austin, you know, like Tim Dillon said Austin is over, 0.71
00:41:20.000 but it's like, it's good to have a third city. 0.95
00:41:23.000 Yeah.
00:41:24.000 Like the more diversity, the better.
00:41:26.000 Like this brings another group of like comics into the forefront. 0.88
00:41:31.000 I mean, if you're, look, if you're fucking touring and making money and you're like our 0.64
00:41:37.000 age ish, like early thirties, late twenties, like, yeah, come here. 0.97
00:41:41.000 Have a better look.
00:41:42.000 Mid thirties.
00:41:43.000 How old are you?
00:41:44.000 I'm mid thirties.
00:41:45.000 Are you?
00:41:46.000 Yeah.
00:41:47.000 What?
00:41:48.000 35.
00:41:49.000 You're 35.
00:41:50.000 Yeah.
00:41:51.000 Around there. 1.00
00:41:52.000 Oh shit. 0.99
00:41:53.000 Okay. 1.00
00:41:54.000 I'm 33.
00:41:55.000 At this point.
00:41:56.000 I thought, I think mid, I think mid is 34 to 36.
00:41:59.000 Yeah.
00:42:00.000 And late.
00:42:01.000 Like early is 30 to 33.
00:42:03.000 Yeah.
00:42:04.000 And then late is 38 to 40.
00:42:08.000 Huh?
00:42:09.000 10 minutes.
00:42:10.000 You got 10 minutes.
00:42:11.000 You get the late.
00:42:12.000 Um, yeah, you get the light at 40.
00:42:14.000 Um, I think that rigid time structures aren't the best for artistic expressions.
00:42:21.000 Oh, you got 15 minutes.
00:42:27.000 I am as a construct.
00:42:30.000 Do you know how to count in Korean?
00:42:33.000 Yeah.
00:42:34.000 How do you count to 10?
00:42:36.000 I'm just in Korean.
00:42:37.000 Just use Korean words for all the numbers.
00:42:40.000 Can you do it?
00:42:41.000 Yeah.
00:42:42.000 Can you?
00:42:43.000 Do you want me to count in Korean?
00:42:45.000 To 10?
00:42:46.000 What would that, how, what would that, what was the purpose of that?
00:42:49.000 I mean, I just want to hear it.
00:42:51.000 Yeah.
00:42:52.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
00:43:00.000 6, 8, 10.
00:43:02.000 That's pretty sick.
00:43:03.000 6, 10, 8, 6, 10, 7. 1.00
00:43:05.000 God damn. 0.99
00:43:06.000 That almost sounds like it makes more sense in English. 0.99
00:43:09.000 Uh, they have another way of counting.
00:43:10.000 They have two ways of counting and that's better for math.
00:43:13.000 Why?
00:43:14.000 That's the bad one?
00:43:15.000 Because the Chinese, the Chinese translation.
00:43:17.000 Because they had the Korean. 0.99
00:43:19.000 Uh, I think just philosophically, like ideologically.
00:43:22.000 Yeah.
00:43:23.000 Have you ever done an ancestry.ca?
00:43:25.000 Do you know for a fact that you're.
00:43:26.000 .ca?
00:43:27.000 Or .com.
00:43:29.000 Canada.
00:43:30.000 That's hilarious.
00:43:31.000 We have .ca.
00:43:32.000 Yeah.
00:43:33.000 Google.ca.
00:43:34.000 Yeah.
00:43:35.000 No.
00:43:36.000 Google.com.
00:43:37.000 I don't think we have .ca.
00:43:38.000 So you do use .com.
00:43:39.000 We have both.
00:43:40.000 Hmm.
00:43:41.000 Yeah.
00:43:42.000 No, I've never done ancestry.ca.
00:43:45.000 Find out you're Canadian. 0.91
00:43:47.000 Yeah.
00:43:48.000 You've done ancestry.com.
00:43:49.000 No, I thought that was just for white people.
00:43:52.000 No, I feel like that'd be funny if like all like a bunch of Koreans and like Japanese 1.00
00:43:58.000 did that and found out they had like, they were like half Chinese.
00:44:01.000 Didn't even know.
00:44:02.000 Cause then it's like all these years.
00:44:04.000 They're like, they've been calling us Chinese. 1.00
00:44:06.000 He's fucking racist. 1.00
00:44:07.000 And then they do ancestry.com. 1.00
00:44:08.000 And it's like.
00:44:09.000 Well, culturally.
00:44:10.000 Turns out. 1.00
00:44:11.000 Turns out you're fucking Chinese. 1.00
00:44:13.000 Culturally they hate the Chinese, but genetically they are Chinese. 1.00
00:44:17.000 Wild. 0.98
00:44:18.000 It happens. 0.99
00:44:20.000 Some people are black and they don't even know it. 0.97
00:44:23.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:44:24.000 Like Somalians. 1.00
00:44:25.000 Yeah.
00:44:26.000 Are Somalians black even? 0.99
00:44:28.000 Arabs.
00:44:29.000 They're half Arabs.
00:44:30.000 They're almost Indian.
00:44:31.000 Yeah.
00:44:32.000 The further, the further you go that way.
00:44:34.000 It's like a little corner that the Arabs have, but they have like the alien head. 1.00
00:44:40.000 Yeah.
00:44:41.000 Yeah.
00:44:42.000 Which is, you'd think they would.
00:44:44.000 Uh, and they have like, have invented a few more.
00:44:47.000 They have thinner skin.
00:44:48.000 I think.
00:44:49.000 Thin skin. 0.57
00:44:50.000 Yeah.
00:44:51.000 Smooth, thin skin.
00:44:52.000 Like an Arab. 1.00
00:44:53.000 That's all. 1.00
00:44:54.000 You sound like a dog. 0.97
00:44:55.000 Yeah. 0.94
00:44:56.000 Yeah.
00:44:57.000 Yeah.
00:44:58.000 Like petting a Somalian. 1.00
00:44:59.000 Yeah.
00:45:00.000 Yeah.
00:45:01.000 They have different skin.
00:45:03.000 You literally sounded like you were trying to auction off a Somalian.
00:45:06.000 I was like, feel the skin.
00:45:09.000 Feel that.
00:45:10.000 This is a Pekingese.
00:45:11.000 Good material.
00:45:12.000 This is a Afghan.
00:45:13.000 Are you, you have cats or something?
00:45:15.000 Yeah.
00:45:16.000 Forgot not to wear black. 1.00
00:45:18.000 Shit. 1.00
00:45:19.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:45:20.000 I got a cat.
00:45:21.000 Is it?
00:45:22.000 Yeah.
00:45:23.000 Roll all over you.
00:45:24.000 No, it's just, uh, the couch and the sofa.
00:45:27.000 It's in the air. 0.99
00:45:28.000 Goddamn. 0.99
00:45:29.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:45:30.000 Yeah.
00:45:31.000 I like cats, but I don't like the shedding thing.
00:45:34.000 I think, um, I like a hairless cat, but apparently they're the most, they're like
00:45:39.000 the most, if you're allergic to cats, they're like the worst.
00:45:41.000 Huh?
00:45:42.000 They just constantly shedding through their pores.
00:45:44.000 Cause it's not like the people think there are people who are allergic or allergic to the
00:45:47.000 hair, but they're actually like allergic to like the skin.
00:45:50.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:45:51.000 So it's like the hairless cat gives off more shit that people are allergic. 1.00
00:45:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:45:57.000 Yeah.
00:45:58.000 I didn't know that.
00:45:59.000 Do they even have that? 1.00
00:46:00.000 Our fucking, fucking Asians don't even have allergies, bro. 1.00
00:46:04.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:46:05.000 We're pretty much Jewish people.
00:46:08.000 I've never heard it.
00:46:09.000 Like an Asian person be like, I have a seafood. 1.00
00:46:11.000 Like I can't eat seafood.
00:46:12.000 I can't eat this.
00:46:13.000 I can't eat this crab. 1.00
00:46:16.000 I think Asians are very sickly people. 1.00
00:46:21.000 They're sick all the time. 1.00
00:46:23.000 Yeah.
00:46:24.000 COVID.
00:46:25.000 Yeah.
00:46:26.000 But that was, that was, that was their fault.
00:46:30.000 No, but that wasn't, um, they weren't sick.
00:46:33.000 Were there, I guess, but that was all fake. 0.99
00:46:35.000 All those videos of people dying and shit. 0.98
00:46:37.000 That was, it's just a lot of people squeeze into a small area. 0.99
00:46:41.000 That viruses are going to be like, that is a prime target.
00:46:44.000 It's just a, they're so clean.
00:46:46.000 Yeah.
00:46:47.000 We have to be.
00:46:48.000 I mean, there was the video. 1.00
00:46:50.000 Did you see the video of the Chinese guy fucking the chicken or whatever? 1.00
00:46:53.000 People are like, people are disgusting. 1.00
00:46:55.000 So now we're disgusting. 0.85
00:46:56.000 Cause that one video, you thought we were clean five seconds ago.
00:47:00.000 Yeah.
00:47:01.000 Somebody told me something weird yesterday that like Asian or like Chinese moms or something
00:47:07.000 like if the kid like does well, they'll like blow their son or something.
00:47:10.000 I don't know.
00:47:11.000 Does well in school.
00:47:12.000 I don't know.
00:47:13.000 Is that just a video online?
00:47:14.000 It's just literally somebody told me that.
00:47:16.000 Somebody told me that to my son.
00:47:18.000 If you do well in school, your mom is going to blow you. 0.99
00:47:21.000 Pretty sick. 0.98
00:47:22.000 That would be horrific.
00:47:24.000 That'd be crazy, right?
00:47:25.000 It'd be traumatizing.
00:47:26.000 How do you look at your mom the same way if she's blowing you? 0.99
00:47:30.000 I mean, you gotta hand her 60 bucks after that. 0.96
00:47:34.000 Let's just have it. 0.99
00:47:35.000 No, it's, I mean, Asian culture doesn't have a lot of room for like comedy and shit, 1.00
00:47:43.000 but like now they do. 0.96
00:47:45.000 Cause there's like really successful comics.
00:47:48.000 Like, I mean, in Asia, you, well, you just went to Asia.
00:47:51.000 Yeah.
00:47:52.000 Yeah.
00:47:53.000 Like Jimmy O. Yang.
00:47:54.000 And, um, who's that guy that does the daily show?
00:47:57.000 Mr. Roger.
00:47:58.000 Dr. Roger.
00:47:59.000 Uncle Roger.
00:48:00.000 Uncle Roger.
00:48:01.000 Um, the guy on the daily show.
00:48:05.000 Bobby Lee.
00:48:06.000 Andre Kim.
00:48:09.000 Brian Redband.
00:48:10.000 One of the best Asian comedians.
00:48:11.000 He's Asian at heart.
00:48:13.000 Yeah.
00:48:14.000 I swear.
00:48:15.000 He squint.
00:48:16.000 He squints on purpose.
00:48:17.000 With more Asians. 0.99
00:48:20.000 Yeah.
00:48:21.000 It's how long have you been on kill Tony?
00:48:25.000 Like four years now, five years.
00:48:26.000 Yeah.
00:48:27.000 Four years. 1.00
00:48:28.000 Fucking sick. 0.99
00:48:29.000 Thank you. 0.99
00:48:30.000 Did you, did you want that?
00:48:33.000 Like, did you come to us wanting it?
00:48:35.000 Yeah.
00:48:36.000 I love the show.
00:48:37.000 Yeah.
00:48:38.000 I was a huge fan of the show.
00:48:39.000 I thought it was a great idea.
00:48:40.000 I thought it was a great community and, uh, you know, like ecosystem to be in.
00:48:45.000 Yeah.
00:48:46.000 And it, uh, I grew up on it.
00:48:47.000 So I was like, yeah, that'd be great. 0.95
00:48:49.000 It's like getting on, uh, fucking Kim Kardashian or something, or like even Steven for me, even 0.98
00:48:56.000 Steven. 0.99
00:48:57.000 That's just pretty.
00:48:58.000 Yeah.
00:48:59.000 That's a heavy reference.
00:49:00.000 Killed Tony's.
00:49:01.000 Did you see that on Disney.ca or?
00:49:04.000 Yeah.
00:49:05.000 Did you not have Disney channel up there?
00:49:07.000 Yeah.
00:49:08.000 Well, no, we have all the same stuff.
00:49:09.000 Nice.
00:49:10.000 Um, yeah.
00:49:11.000 No, the .ca thing is, they should have never done that, but every country has that.
00:49:15.000 Yeah.
00:49:16.000 Like KR.
00:49:17.000 Ko.kr.
00:49:18.000 We got to put a ko.kr.
00:49:19.000 What's that?
00:49:20.000 Kazakhstan?
00:49:21.000 No, Korea. 0.99
00:49:22.000 Oh, KR. 0.87
00:49:23.000 Ko.
00:49:24.000 Ko.
00:49:25.000 Ko.
00:49:26.000 Ko.
00:49:27.000 What's the, what's the Korean store here?
00:49:29.000 H Mart?
00:49:30.000 Here?
00:49:31.000 Yeah.
00:49:32.000 H Mart.
00:49:33.000 What do you go? 1.00
00:49:34.000 Do you go there, get live crabs and shit? 1.00
00:49:35.000 No. 1.00
00:49:36.000 Put them in your fridge?
00:49:37.000 I don't cook.
00:49:38.000 All I do is kimchi. 0.51
00:49:39.000 I don't cook.
00:49:40.000 You don't make sushi at all?
00:49:42.000 Yeah.
00:49:43.000 I just go to the river, just pull out a trout, just start eating it like golem. 0.99
00:49:47.000 Have you ever made like, like Korean food?
00:49:50.000 Yeah.
00:49:51.000 When I was a kid in college.
00:49:52.000 Your parents forced you to do it.
00:49:53.000 No, I missed it.
00:49:54.000 It's good food.
00:49:55.000 Like, what is it?
00:49:56.000 Just like rice and like.
00:49:58.000 Rice and curry or soup and side dishes.
00:50:05.000 Dude, I love side dishes.
00:50:07.000 Yeah.
00:50:08.000 So I used to go to a restaurant called Korean Village all the time that my dad would always
00:50:11.000 take me to and like the, it's like a family restaurant and then the mom died and then
00:50:15.000 it was just sad and then the sun started running it and COVID happened.
00:50:19.000 But it's really good.
00:50:21.000 They always give me the side dish, like a good, like a sprout, the sprout side dish, 1.00
00:50:26.000 like the pickled sprout and fucking all the spicy fucking. 1.00
00:50:30.000 The dishes at a Korean place. 1.00
00:50:32.000 There's no good Korean fucking food here. 1.00
00:50:34.000 I guess they're, I mean. 1.00
00:50:35.000 Ask Brian Redman.
00:50:36.000 There's Korean barbecue.
00:50:38.000 He likes to go out.
00:50:39.000 Yeah.
00:50:40.000 I don't like to sit in a restaurant.
00:50:42.000 I'd rather sit at home.
00:50:44.000 Just.
00:50:45.000 I have a family though.
00:50:46.000 So it's like a whole, it's like an activity.
00:50:47.000 Yeah.
00:50:48.000 It might be good to do.
00:50:49.000 Cause then you can actually sit down and not watch the TV.
00:50:51.000 You have to be present.
00:50:52.000 Yeah.
00:50:53.000 So you have to get out of the house just to talk to the people.
00:50:55.000 You don't have dinner and have TV on.
00:50:59.000 It's crazy.
00:51:00.000 Did you have a dining room?
00:51:01.000 Did you grow up with, uh, I do have a dining room.
00:51:04.000 We haven't set it up yet.
00:51:05.000 We just eat at like a, the breakfast nook.
00:51:07.000 Have you noticed that a dining room is not a thing anymore?
00:51:10.000 Like my house, my apartment doesn't even have a dining room.
00:51:13.000 Yeah.
00:51:14.000 Mostly they got rid of it.
00:51:15.000 I want to, I think, um, I, I'm pretty close to buying a dining room table.
00:51:21.000 Um, two more patrons, two more patrons.
00:51:26.000 Amazon wishlist.
00:51:27.000 No, that's crazy. 1.00
00:51:28.000 People just buy shit. 1.00
00:51:29.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:51:30.000 Yeah.
00:51:31.000 Do you have one?
00:51:32.000 No, I should though.
00:51:33.000 Would you?
00:51:34.000 I mean, it seems kind of like I already have money.
00:51:38.000 Like, why am I asking people to give me money?
00:51:41.000 I guess that's what a job is.
00:51:43.000 Get them more.
00:51:44.000 Do you have a Patreon?
00:51:46.000 Yeah.
00:51:47.000 Do, are you making some money on it?
00:51:50.000 Like, come on.
00:51:51.000 I'm making like 10 bucks.
00:51:52.000 10 bucks.
00:51:53.000 Yeah.
00:51:54.000 I think I got two.
00:51:55.000 600 bucks. 1.00
00:51:56.000 Let's fucking go. 1.00
00:51:57.000 Join. 0.99
00:51:58.000 People.
00:51:59.000 People.
00:52:00.000 I have to explain to people like you really have to join. 0.99
00:52:03.000 And like, people are like, I don't, I don't know how it's like, shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:52:07.000 Pull out your fucking phone right now. 0.99
00:52:09.000 But like a lot of people like who aren't on it would be, they just like are kind of late. 1.00
00:52:13.000 Like they don't cause dude, how many fucking things like you pay for page. 0.81
00:52:18.000 You're paying for somebody's Patreon. 0.66
00:52:19.000 It doesn't mean that you have to watch every episode either.
00:52:22.000 Like it's really a low risk, low reward kind of thing.
00:52:27.000 Like for them.
00:52:28.000 Right.
00:52:29.000 Yeah.
00:52:30.000 Five bucks a month.
00:52:31.000 And you can sometimes.
00:52:32.000 High reward.
00:52:33.000 And yeah. 0.99
00:52:34.000 I mean, they get to listen to you, you know, talking shit or talking about whatever you 1.00
00:52:39.000 want to fucking talk about. 1.00
00:52:40.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:52:41.000 You could be like, I sponsor that guy.
00:52:43.000 I help that guy live.
00:52:44.000 Yeah.
00:52:45.000 That guy is talking about Mexicans right now.
00:52:47.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:52:48.000 Like you can sponsor a comedian.
00:52:49.000 It's pretty much what it is. 1.00
00:52:50.000 It's like the fucking. 1.00
00:52:51.000 It's like a patron. 1.00
00:52:52.000 It is kind of funny that people give more money to comedians and only fans models, like
00:52:58.000 on a monthly basis, like subscriptions, then you know, like African kids.
00:53:04.000 Like, remember that was a big thing where it's like, Oh, $1 a day.
00:53:07.000 Yeah.
00:53:08.000 For an African kid. 0.95
00:53:09.000 And you can write them a letter.
00:53:11.000 Nobody does that anymore.
00:53:12.000 We've totally just gone.
00:53:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:53:14.000 Fuck them. 1.00
00:53:15.000 Like remember foster children. 1.00
00:53:17.000 That used to be a thing. 0.99
00:53:18.000 Nobody gives a fuck. 0.99
00:53:19.000 Now it's like, no, no, I give five bucks to Ben Bankis on Patreon. 1.00
00:53:21.000 I'd rather give Ben Bankis five bucks than some kid with flies in his eyes.
00:53:27.000 That's it needs it.
00:53:28.000 Yeah.
00:53:29.000 He doesn't have a dining room table.
00:53:31.000 No, they don't need it.
00:53:32.000 I thought they're homeless.
00:53:33.000 They like it.
00:53:34.000 Yeah.
00:53:35.000 You want five bucks, five bucks a month so you can make enough money to go to Nairobi
00:53:40.000 and work at McDonald's.
00:53:42.000 That would be a fun thing is like go every go to like all the McDonald's in like every
00:53:47.000 country or something like one McDonald's in every country that would take a decade.
00:53:50.000 And then there'd be new ones that pop up that you'd have to go to.
00:53:53.000 It'd be like the line of Chinese people walking in. 1.00
00:53:56.000 Did you go when you did you go to American fast food when you're in Asia recently?
00:54:00.000 Maybe.
00:54:01.000 What do you have?
00:54:02.000 I did like McDonald's.
00:54:03.000 I went to McDonald's once in Japan, Korea, Japan.
00:54:07.000 You didn't go to anything.
00:54:08.000 I might have.
00:54:09.000 What's it like in Korea?
00:54:12.000 It's like a little bit more Korean.
00:54:14.000 Is it better?
00:54:16.000 No, I like American better.
00:54:18.000 It was like the bread was a little stiff.
00:54:20.000 It's like it just made like to stand up. 0.98
00:54:22.000 Americans are like all sloppy. 1.00
00:54:24.000 It's made to eat. 1.00
00:54:25.000 It tastes better than it looks.
00:54:27.000 Hmm.
00:54:28.000 Do they?
00:54:29.000 What's the most Korean thing to have?
00:54:31.000 Don't know.
00:54:32.000 You didn't order it.
00:54:34.000 Yeah, it's pretty American.
00:54:35.000 What did you get?
00:54:36.000 Like a burger?
00:54:37.000 Like, you know, like you're just like burger and fries.
00:54:40.000 Yeah.
00:54:41.000 Did you say it's all on the iPad?
00:54:44.000 Oh, there's no.
00:54:45.000 There's no people.
00:54:46.000 Yeah, that's all it is in Asia.
00:54:47.000 There's no waiters. 0.99
00:54:48.000 That's fucked up. 0.98
00:54:49.000 It's so much money that we're saving. 0.99
00:54:51.000 Or do they have homeless?
00:54:52.000 Not as many.
00:54:53.000 I saw a couple.
00:54:55.000 So what are they?
00:54:56.000 How is if there's everything's automated?
00:54:59.000 What are people even doing for a living?
00:55:01.000 I don't know.
00:55:02.000 The other things like all the other jobs just have more people now.
00:55:07.000 There's more janitors and bus drivers. 0.97
00:55:12.000 Aren't the buses fucking automated? 0.98
00:55:14.000 Not yet. 0.98
00:55:15.000 Do you see robots there?
00:55:16.000 They have a lot of robots.
00:55:17.000 There was like a cleaning robot for the restaurant or you just put your trays in it.
00:55:21.000 But they didn't have any humanoid bots.
00:55:24.000 No.
00:55:25.000 I'm waiting for that.
00:55:26.000 I want the human.
00:55:27.000 Yeah.
00:55:28.000 I would have a Tesla robot 100%.
00:55:31.000 Walk my guest to the door, Optimus.
00:55:34.000 Just walks you to the door.
00:55:36.000 That'd be dope. 1.00
00:55:37.000 How fucking sick would that be? 0.99
00:55:38.000 Would it be like a self-defense robot too? 0.99
00:55:41.000 Like the Terminator?
00:55:42.000 Dude, I'm so terrible. 0.94
00:55:43.000 I mean, the second that we all have robots in our house, like we're so screwed kind of.
00:55:49.000 Like we're so like at risk of everything getting weird. 1.00
00:55:54.000 You think we're going to fuck them? 1.00
00:55:58.000 No doubt we're going to fuck them. 1.00
00:55:59.000 Probably women will be the first to fuck them. 1.00
00:56:02.000 Why? 1.00
00:56:03.000 Like the Optimus ones.
00:56:04.000 They can't resist.
00:56:05.000 Because there's no hole, but they have like fingers.
00:56:07.000 So they could probably like finger bang. 0.79
00:56:09.000 And it's like safe.
00:56:10.000 Like they keep it all pent up because if you like show any interest in a man, they're going 0.99
00:56:14.000 to try to rape you. 0.86
00:56:15.000 So they're like, oh, I just wish I could be safe around a man who's not going to like 0.99
00:56:19.000 try to like, you know, marry me. 0.91
00:56:21.000 There might be a bit of robot rape, which I'm not. 0.98
00:56:24.000 Women would be the first to rub themselves on a robot. 1.00
00:56:28.000 That's what I think. 0.99
00:56:29.000 Yeah, I think that they were just so horny. 0.97
00:56:31.000 Well, the Optimus, like imagine being in a house and you're a woman and you're alone
00:56:35.000 and you have Optimus.
00:56:36.000 There's Iron Man right there.
00:56:37.000 Yeah.
00:56:38.000 I was like, can you just put your finger out like that?
00:56:41.000 And I'm going to.
00:56:43.000 I don't know.
00:56:44.000 Why would it say no?
00:56:45.000 I'd be curious.
00:56:46.000 Erase memory. 1.00
00:56:48.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:56:49.000 Clean your mouth hole. 1.00
00:56:52.000 I think it's a victimless crime. 0.99
00:56:55.000 Asians love robots so much.
00:56:58.000 Yeah.
00:56:59.000 We're not afraid of them.
00:57:00.000 Yeah.
00:57:01.000 Why are white people afraid of them? 0.89
00:57:02.000 Because we made movies about them being evil.
00:57:04.000 Because of a guilty conscience or like they are afraid of like people that they owned
00:57:10.000 uprising against them. 1.00
00:57:11.000 Like Asians are fucked right now. 1.00
00:57:13.000 Anyways, like even if the robots destroy them, it's like, oh, Americans, we're going 1.00
00:57:16.000 to do it anyways.
00:57:17.000 Like it's the there's we already have like one higher than us.
00:57:20.000 You guys are at the top.
00:57:21.000 There's no one higher.
00:57:22.000 You think Americans are trying to destroy Asia?
00:57:27.000 I don't think they're trying.
00:57:28.000 I think it's a side effect of what they if they get what they want.
00:57:32.000 I think it's just like it's just that they're in the way.
00:57:35.000 They'll use them.
00:57:36.000 Like what country is being destroyed though?
00:57:38.000 Korea? 0.70
00:57:39.000 I'm not saying.
00:57:40.000 Oh, like I'm just talking about like America can like it's the uneasy feeling of like
00:57:46.000 knowing that there's like a kid above your antel.
00:57:49.000 Yeah.
00:57:50.000 Yeah.
00:57:51.000 But yeah, it's just like I think that we don't have like the fear like we're already, you
00:57:56.000 know, as low as we're going to go.
00:57:58.000 We're not going to go lower than the Africans. 1.00
00:58:00.000 I feel like Asians are way higher up. 1.00
00:58:04.000 Definitely.
00:58:06.000 I mean, like nobody like no offense to no offense.
00:58:12.000 It's just economic.
00:58:13.000 No, but I just mean like if you go to a neighborhood and it's all Asian people like as a white person
00:58:18.000 like you don't like you don't like it, but you're not afraid.
00:58:20.000 You know what I mean?
00:58:21.000 You're like a lot of Asians, but you're not like. 1.00
00:58:25.000 Oh, yeah, I mean you're like I'm still I'll still go into a store.
00:58:28.000 They respect laws.
00:58:29.000 You can sue that.
00:58:31.000 They don't like getting sued.
00:58:33.000 I feel like Filipinos get when they get a little more dangerous. 1.00
00:58:36.000 Yeah, and Vietnamese and shit. 1.00
00:58:38.000 Yeah, there are more Mexican, but like Korean like if you go like in Canada, there's a in 0.99
00:58:44.000 Toronto Shepard and the fuck is it young and Shepard young and whatever. 0.87
00:58:49.000 There's like a whole strip, which is basically like there's like two Korea towns, but this 0.98
00:58:54.000 like the bigger one and everybody's great like everybody.
00:58:57.000 They have Korean banks. 1.00
00:58:58.000 They have fucking and it's just like it's sick. 1.00
00:59:01.000 It's sick like you people go there to be like let's go there for food. 1.00
00:59:05.000 Yeah, it's like the Korean food so fucking good there. 0.98
00:59:07.000 It's cool. 0.93
00:59:08.000 You know what I mean, but like you know, no one goes to Compton.
00:59:11.000 Nobody's like oh, let's go to that jerk chicken spot at midnight.
00:59:15.000 That's like a daytime or like an Uber Eats.
00:59:17.000 I think we're the Asians you can pick on them and they'll be oh, what's going on?
00:59:21.000 Oh, I'm sorry. 0.97
00:59:22.000 Oh, you know, but I think they're scary Filipinos like they they have a limit. 1.00
00:59:28.000 Like it doesn't matter how what their status hierarchy at some point. 0.82
00:59:31.000 They're just a human being.
00:59:32.000 They just act blacker. 0.99
00:59:34.000 Yeah, they're more in the moment.
00:59:35.000 They're more like they're not covered. 1.00
00:59:37.000 What'd you say about my fucking Filipino motherfucker? 1.00
00:59:39.000 Yeah, like Korean guy would be like, yeah, whatever. 1.00
00:59:43.000 Yeah.
00:59:44.000 Ha ha. 1.00
00:59:45.000 Fuck you legally. 1.00
00:59:46.000 You can't like Filipinos and like fucking they're like dogs. 1.00
00:59:51.000 They're like dogs. 1.00
00:59:54.000 I mean, I didn't say that the liberal said that the Asian hierarchy is very rigid. 0.99
01:00:02.000 The white Asians, you know, we're not connected to our natural being. 0.99
01:00:05.000 Our dicks are small. 1.00
01:00:06.000 We're more in our heads. 1.00
01:00:07.000 So Filipinos have bigger dicks. 1.00
01:00:09.000 Phillip. 1.00
01:00:10.000 I don't know.
01:00:11.000 Depends.
01:00:12.000 I don't know.
01:00:13.000 I have no idea.
01:00:14.000 Depends on.
01:00:15.000 Depends on how jungle. 1.00
01:00:18.000 It would be cool to see which group of Asians has the biggest dicks. 1.00
01:00:22.000 Who are the blacks of the Asians? 1.00
01:00:24.000 Yeah.
01:00:25.000 Probably.
01:00:26.000 Probably the jungle.
01:00:27.000 Indonesian.
01:00:28.000 Whoever was civilized the latest.
01:00:31.000 Uh. 0.99
01:00:32.000 Because once you start living in cities, your dicks get smaller. 1.00
01:00:35.000 Chinese. 0.99
01:00:38.000 Chinese is probably one of those up there. 0.99
01:00:41.000 But like, honestly, their dicks obviously work very well because they have like a shit ton of people. 0.99
01:00:46.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:00:47.000 I mean, it's like a organization thing.
01:00:50.000 It's like everyone pair up and do what you're told. 0.99
01:00:52.000 I've seen Asian porn. 1.00
01:00:53.000 Like the dicks aren't really that. 1.00
01:00:55.000 Sometimes I want. 0.98
01:00:56.000 They used to be.
01:00:57.000 I think they got bigger.
01:00:58.000 Yeah.
01:00:59.000 They got bigger.
01:01:00.000 I want them to be smaller though. 0.99
01:01:01.000 Like I kind of like a, I kind of like a small dick in the, I don't like when she's 0.99
01:01:04.000 got a, when it's abnormally small. 1.00
01:01:06.000 It's like concerning.
01:01:07.000 I feel bad for the guy.
01:01:08.000 I don't want to feel guilty and like, you know, feel empathy.
01:01:11.000 No, you don't want it to be really small, but you want it to be like your size or like
01:01:16.000 slightly smaller.
01:01:17.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:01:18.000 But you don't want it to be like a fucking, like a micro penis, like a little clip. 1.00
01:01:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:01:22.000 That's distracting.
01:01:23.000 That's just that.
01:01:24.000 At that point. 0.99
01:01:25.000 I can't jerk off. 0.85
01:01:26.000 Then you want to share the video. 0.99
01:01:27.000 That's not me.
01:01:28.000 I can't relate to that.
01:01:29.000 I'm like, I want to send this to my boys.
01:01:30.000 No, I just.
01:01:31.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:01:32.000 Send porn to your friends. 0.99
01:01:33.000 No, but if, I mean, if it was funny enough, I bite. 0.97
01:01:35.000 Do you want to start? 0.66
01:01:36.000 We could just be like, what are you jerking?
01:01:39.000 I'm on the road.
01:01:41.000 Yeah.
01:01:42.000 I'll send you some vids. 0.84
01:01:44.000 I think the porn industry was created by Jewish people to subvert, subvert the country, 1.00
01:01:53.000 destroy families. 1.00
01:01:55.000 I mean, so many videos of like women on the street saying the craziest shit. 1.00
01:02:00.000 Like I, it's scary to like, I feel bad for like guys who are single and like are like, 0.99
01:02:04.000 I'm looking, I want a family. 1.00
01:02:06.000 Cause it's like, you're fucked. 1.00
01:02:08.000 There's like every woman on the streets. 1.00
01:02:10.000 Like, yeah.
01:02:11.000 Like, I think I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, it's just crazy.
01:02:16.000 You know what I'm talking about?
01:02:17.000 Like, yeah.
01:02:18.000 It was just like the college.
01:02:19.000 What's the worst thing you've ever done? 0.99
01:02:20.000 It's like, I fucking had a fucking train right on me like eight times. 0.99
01:02:24.000 And then my mom blew them or something. 0.99
01:02:25.000 Great. 1.00
01:02:26.000 Like shit like that. 1.00
01:02:27.000 And you're like, whoa. 1.00
01:02:28.000 Yeah, that's.
01:02:29.000 That's bad.
01:02:30.000 That's not.
01:02:31.000 I don't know.
01:02:32.000 That's porn. 0.91
01:02:33.000 Or is that maybe I think it's partly it is. 0.54
01:02:37.000 Is that just.
01:02:38.000 But when I was like, when we were kids, like it was only the guys who watch porn, but I
01:02:43.000 feel like the girls are like into it now. 1.00
01:02:48.000 So now they're all fucking crazy. 0.99
01:02:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:02:51.000 It's this feedback loop.
01:02:53.000 Men are.
01:02:54.000 And if both of them are watching, it just goes, you put it crazy in her. 0.97
01:02:58.000 She puts crazy in you. 0.88
01:02:59.000 Just gets crazy.
01:03:00.000 It's like a tornado.
01:03:01.000 It's not.
01:03:02.000 Like, I feel like porn.
01:03:04.000 It's like anything. 0.99
01:03:05.000 It's like, you know, in moderate, like, you know, once in a while you fucking or you're 0.54
01:03:09.000 on the road or something, you know, but like watching it every day is definitely not 0.91
01:03:14.000 good.
01:03:15.000 Like we can all agree.
01:03:16.000 We all know that.
01:03:17.000 Right.
01:03:18.000 You do it.
01:03:19.000 I guess so.
01:03:20.000 You do it anyway.
01:03:21.000 I do it.
01:03:22.000 Sometimes it's better than getting robbed.
01:03:26.000 I feel like that.
01:03:27.000 Rubbed by a robot.
01:03:28.000 Oh, robbed.
01:03:29.000 Yeah.
01:03:30.000 Yeah, definitely.
01:03:31.000 They should have that experience on the VR porn.
01:03:35.000 Just getting robbed.
01:03:36.000 Some people are into that.
01:03:37.000 Do you have VR?
01:03:38.000 Fin Dom.
01:03:39.000 Do you have VR at home?
01:03:40.000 Yeah.
01:03:41.000 Is it legit?
01:03:42.000 You use it a lot?
01:03:43.000 Yeah.
01:03:44.000 No, I don't use it a lot.
01:03:45.000 Why?
01:03:46.000 It's just a lot.
01:03:49.000 I can just do everything on my computer.
01:03:52.000 What VR do you have?
01:03:54.000 Like the Apple one?
01:03:55.000 Oculus.
01:03:56.000 So you can do what?
01:03:57.000 Like it's like a computer.
01:03:59.000 Yeah, I can do Beat Saber.
01:04:01.000 I can do poker. 0.98
01:04:03.000 I can watch porn. 0.95
01:04:06.000 What? 0.94
01:04:07.000 That's not even that fun.
01:04:08.000 Yeah.
01:04:09.000 You don't use it. 0.99
01:04:10.000 No, I never fuck dude. 0.99
01:04:11.000 I like I had a PS through five. 0.97
01:04:13.000 I gave it away to my buddy.
01:04:15.000 Cause like, I just didn't like, I don't like, what do you like?
01:04:19.000 Well, you know, Tony always asked, what do you do for fun?
01:04:21.000 He's like, dude, I don't know.
01:04:22.000 What do you like?
01:04:23.000 What do you do?
01:04:24.000 You do do.
01:04:25.000 You have some hobbies though.
01:04:26.000 You fly like drones.
01:04:28.000 Starcraft to Catan.
01:04:34.000 Yeah, that's pretty much it.
01:04:35.000 I used to like Civ.
01:04:36.000 Civilization.
01:04:37.000 Paddle boarding.
01:04:38.000 You're like Civ?
01:04:39.000 No.
01:04:40.000 Civ six.
01:04:41.000 It's okay.
01:04:42.000 I got bored of it.
01:04:43.000 I like city building games.
01:04:45.000 Actually.
01:04:46.000 I was pretty into those for a bit.
01:04:48.000 Like making a good city or like attacking other cities. 0.96
01:04:51.000 Like making, like build a city, like build the highway and all that shit. 0.85
01:04:55.000 I used to do that.
01:04:56.000 But talking about it makes me want to do it.
01:04:59.000 Also, I, I actually enjoy flying like the virtual flight.
01:05:03.000 Like Microsoft flight simulator.
01:05:04.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:05:05.000 Like if I had a million bucks, I would definitely have like a whole room of just like the fucking. 0.99
01:05:12.000 Like Nathan Fielder. 0.99
01:05:13.000 Does he have one?
01:05:14.000 Uh, he's really into flying.
01:05:16.000 He like did the V, like the virtual assistant flying program.
01:05:20.000 And now he's like a pilot.
01:05:21.000 Wow.
01:05:22.000 Yeah.
01:05:23.000 I saw him in the cockpit.
01:05:24.000 So that's real.
01:05:25.000 Yeah.
01:05:26.000 It's a valuable skill.
01:05:27.000 That's crazy.
01:05:28.000 Yeah, it is.
01:05:29.000 He used HBO to pay for his flight sim training.
01:05:31.000 Mm hmm.
01:05:32.000 And now it's like, he's like one of the guys with like the most hours on that simulator
01:05:37.000 now.
01:05:38.000 Just cause he did it for a joke.
01:05:40.000 That's insane.
01:05:41.000 So just to be that funny, he like went that hard.
01:05:44.000 Yeah.
01:05:45.000 And like fully got his pilot's license.
01:05:46.000 Yeah.
01:05:47.000 Now he's like flying commercial airlines.
01:05:48.000 Yeah.
01:05:49.000 Giant 747s. 0.99
01:05:50.000 That's fucking insane. 0.99
01:05:51.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:05:52.000 But that's why, uh, he's Canadian.
01:05:55.000 He's from Toronto, I think.
01:05:56.000 Yeah.
01:05:57.000 He's Canadian.
01:05:58.000 For sure.
01:05:59.000 Good for him.
01:06:00.000 Yeah.
01:06:01.000 I'm sure he'd love my comedy.
01:06:02.000 Uh, I'm sure he would like, no, he, he would find the joy in some parts of it.
01:06:07.000 I've never met him.
01:06:08.000 Is he completely the same as his, he is on the show?
01:06:11.000 I don't know.
01:06:12.000 Have you met him?
01:06:13.000 No.
01:06:14.000 Oh.
01:06:15.000 You kind of made it seem like you knew him a bit.
01:06:16.000 No, I met like on the show.
01:06:17.000 He's doing a season on flying right now.
01:06:20.000 So everyone's talking about how Nathan Fielder is a pilot.
01:06:23.000 It's a common thing.
01:06:24.000 I'm surprised he's never been on Kill Tony.
01:06:25.000 He'd be a good Kill Tony guy.
01:06:27.000 He's not really a standup guy.
01:06:29.000 Isn't he?
01:06:30.000 I thought he was.
01:06:31.000 He was.
01:06:32.000 He started with standup.
01:06:33.000 Yeah.
01:06:34.000 But maybe he stopped doing it.
01:06:35.000 Yeah.
01:06:36.000 I guess he made a lot of money off his show, but are you, uh, what do you got coming up?
01:06:41.000 Do you want to play?
01:06:42.000 I have a birthday party tomorrow.
01:06:44.000 I want to plug my birthday party.
01:06:45.000 Thank you.
01:06:46.000 Did I invite you?
01:06:47.000 You did.
01:06:48.000 Yeah.
01:06:49.000 Feel free to come.
01:06:50.000 It's at 3 PM.
01:06:52.000 Is the pool party.
01:06:53.000 And then the real parties at 9 PM.
01:06:55.000 Where's what's the pool situation?
01:06:57.000 It's my apartment pool.
01:06:59.000 I'm a big pool guy.
01:07:01.000 We're thinking about changing the name of the show to pool jacked.
01:07:04.000 Actually.
01:07:05.000 Who's we, um, me and, um, my one friend and I guess my graphic designer.
01:07:12.000 Is he on the podcast ever?
01:07:14.000 Yeah.
01:07:15.000 He's on the last episode.
01:07:16.000 Oh, so it's just like a soul.
01:07:18.000 He's like a common guest.
01:07:19.000 We're current guests.
01:07:20.000 He might be a common guest.
01:07:21.000 He might be a cohost.
01:07:22.000 Uh, I would just have to have them live here.
01:07:26.000 He doesn't live here right now, but yeah.
01:07:29.000 But he's a part of this project spiritually.
01:07:32.000 Yeah.
01:07:33.000 Pretty much.
01:07:34.000 Yeah.
01:07:35.000 That's cool.
01:07:36.000 He's in the room.
01:07:37.000 Yeah.
01:07:38.000 I was wondering where he was.
01:07:39.000 There's a, there's multiple people involved.
01:07:40.000 So what's the pool?
01:07:41.000 Is it a shared pool?
01:07:42.000 Yeah.
01:07:43.000 It's the apartment pool.
01:07:44.000 Oh yeah.
01:07:45.000 It's like a high up.
01:07:46.000 Yeah.
01:07:47.000 It's like on the eighth floor.
01:07:48.000 That's pretty sick.
01:07:49.000 Yeah.
01:07:50.000 Come through.
01:07:51.000 Yeah.
01:07:52.000 Should I bring my family?
01:07:53.000 Yeah.
01:07:54.000 It's a apartment pool.
01:07:55.000 So the pool.
01:07:56.000 Yeah.
01:07:57.000 Just kind of fun.
01:07:58.000 Floaties.
01:07:59.000 Yeah.
01:08:00.000 Do you send the flip over? 0.87
01:08:01.000 We got so many fucking floaties, but are you going to have a lot of people there? 0.96
01:08:04.000 I hope so. 0.98
01:08:05.000 It really depends on who shows up.
01:08:07.000 Is it?
01:08:08.000 Well, how'd you send the invite?
01:08:10.000 Just individual?
01:08:11.000 Yeah.
01:08:12.000 Individually.
01:08:13.000 Just like I sent it to you.
01:08:15.000 Who's said no so far?
01:08:17.000 Jesse Burlingam and David Jolly.
01:08:21.000 Jesse is a, he's a local guy.
01:08:23.000 Local guy.
01:08:24.000 David Jolly said no.
01:08:25.000 Yeah.
01:08:26.000 He's just straight up.
01:08:27.000 Yeah.
01:08:28.000 Oh, he's on the road.
01:08:29.000 That's pretty sick.
01:08:30.000 Is Tony going to go?
01:08:32.000 I don't know.
01:08:33.000 Did you ask him?
01:08:34.000 On the show.
01:08:35.000 And he said no. 1.00
01:08:39.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:08:40.000 Red band? 1.00
01:08:41.000 No.
01:08:42.000 I asked him.
01:08:43.000 He didn't say yes.
01:08:45.000 He lives close to you.
01:08:46.000 I thought he has an apartment that he sometimes goes to.
01:08:50.000 True.
01:08:51.000 True.
01:08:52.000 But he likes being in the suburbs.
01:08:54.000 Yeah.
01:08:55.000 Do you like it in the burbs?
01:08:56.000 I do. 0.99
01:08:57.000 I mean, if I, I would, I wouldn't mind a fucking multiple. 0.93
01:09:00.000 I would, I'd love, I mean, that's what we're all, you know, people want to have multiple 0.99
01:09:05.000 fucking houses. 0.96
01:09:06.000 It's pretty nice. 1.00
01:09:07.000 Like, you know, I'm not going to argue with that.
01:09:09.000 Uh, what, why do you have two hours?
01:09:11.000 Why do you have three hours?
01:09:12.000 Yeah.
01:09:13.000 I mean, that must be nice.
01:09:15.000 If you can afford it.
01:09:16.000 Yeah.
01:09:17.000 It might be cheaper than a hotel. 0.65
01:09:19.000 I mean, how fucking far in the suburbs that you can't just drive home, but yeah, I don't 0.84
01:09:24.000 know. 0.88
01:09:25.000 There's a lot of suburbs around Austin.
01:09:27.000 Yeah.
01:09:28.000 It's mostly suburbs.
01:09:29.000 Yeah.
01:09:30.000 Which is nice.
01:09:31.000 It feels like a, what American city should be.
01:09:33.000 You know?
01:09:34.000 Yeah.
01:09:35.000 It is.
01:09:36.000 How American cities are.
01:09:37.000 A lot of whites. 0.94
01:09:38.000 Just every white person on the outside surrounding the blacks. 1.00
01:09:41.000 The blacks ready to pounce. 1.00
01:09:42.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:09:43.000 The blacks like to keep them down. 1.00
01:09:48.000 They really got gentrified out of the East though. 0.98
01:09:53.000 Yeah.
01:09:54.000 Sorry.
01:09:55.000 Yeah.
01:09:56.000 We made it better.
01:09:57.000 They used to have a comedy scene here too.
01:09:59.000 Yeah.
01:10:00.000 No.
01:10:01.000 Do we make it better?
01:10:02.000 Yeah, definitely.
01:10:04.000 Yeah.
01:10:05.000 But they're not happy about it.
01:10:06.000 It's like, Oh, what I have to do.
01:10:07.000 They have to try now.
01:10:09.000 I like not trying for 10 years.
01:10:11.000 Yeah.
01:10:12.000 I mean, I think it's good to have people that live in a place for a while.
01:10:15.000 Cause it does something interesting.
01:10:17.000 You know, when everyone has been there for a while, just makes it kind of cool.
01:10:21.000 It's even more interesting when you go, how long you been here?
01:10:23.000 Your whole life? 1.00
01:10:24.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
01:10:25.000 You're all gone. 1.00
01:10:26.000 Is that interesting or just fun?
01:10:28.000 It's fun.
01:10:29.000 It's not interesting.
01:10:30.000 What's the cruelest thing policy that you're okay with?
01:10:35.000 In favor of?
01:10:36.000 Yeah.
01:10:37.000 I mean, concentration camps.
01:10:40.000 Like Japanese. 1.00
01:10:41.000 For the homeless.
01:10:42.000 Oh yeah.
01:10:43.000 Like.
01:10:44.000 No, I mean, I wouldn't be, I don't know what I'm okay with.
01:10:48.000 I'm okay with abortion. 0.79
01:10:51.000 You're okay with abortion?
01:10:53.000 Yeah.
01:10:54.000 Being banned.
01:10:55.000 Oh, being banned.
01:10:56.000 No, I'm not.
01:10:57.000 I don't know.
01:10:58.000 I don't know what I'm okay with, dude.
01:10:59.000 I just think that like people who aren't doing like actual, like, like, I think the drug, 0.99
01:11:05.000 I think the drug laws are stupid, but. 0.96
01:11:07.000 I think it's okay to discriminate in your business. 1.00
01:11:10.000 I think that's already legal. 0.93
01:11:12.000 Like if you don't want to serve like gay people. 0.99
01:11:14.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:11:15.000 They already have that.
01:11:16.000 Yeah.
01:11:17.000 That's allowed.
01:11:18.000 It's like everywhere.
01:11:19.000 But you should also be aware that people can get online and say that.
01:11:22.000 So I went to an optic optometrist today in a very gay area of Austin and everyone is 1.00
01:11:28.000 gay. 0.93
01:11:29.000 They treated me very well.
01:11:30.000 I kind of like in that moment.
01:11:31.000 I was like, I like this.
01:11:32.000 I like the gays. 0.58
01:11:33.000 I like the lesbian. 1.00
01:11:34.000 I like lesbians. 1.00
01:11:35.000 I think more than gays. 0.99
01:11:36.000 You know, they let each other more than straight couples.
01:11:39.000 Yeah.
01:11:40.000 They also like, I feel like this.
01:11:42.000 They want to get along with dudes who are just bros.
01:11:44.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:11:45.000 Like lesbian. 1.00
01:11:46.000 It's important to them to be one of the guys.
01:11:49.000 Yeah.
01:11:50.000 Like, what's up, man? 0.98
01:11:51.000 A lot of lesbians are like really in a bad mood all the time. 1.00
01:11:55.000 Like their hormones aren't right. 0.97
01:11:57.000 So they're always.
01:11:58.000 Yeah.
01:11:59.000 They never have like, they can never get too happy.
01:12:01.000 Like I was so kind to the lesbian woman at the optometrist, like the assistant or whatever.
01:12:06.000 And like, I was like, thank you so much.
01:12:08.000 And like, you know, you're welcome.
01:12:10.000 You're, you're welcome.
01:12:11.000 Like, it's like, that's their max.
01:12:12.000 They always sound like that.
01:12:13.000 Yeah.
01:12:14.000 It's like, why can't you just be like, you're welcome.
01:12:16.000 I have.
01:12:17.000 Yeah.
01:12:18.000 Grab.
01:12:19.000 You're welcome.
01:12:20.000 Not even that. 0.98
01:12:21.000 That was like the gay guy. 1.00
01:12:22.000 The gay guy wouldn't even look at me in the eye. 1.00
01:12:24.000 He was like, why would a straight man come to the fucking optometrist? 1.00
01:12:28.000 But it was a really good optometrist. 1.00
01:12:30.000 Sometimes the gay or is, or is it just a woman? 1.00
01:12:34.000 No, it was a woman. 0.99
01:12:35.000 Then it was like a straight woman who was the actual optometrist. 1.00
01:12:37.000 Maybe she's an ally.
01:12:38.000 She was Asian.
01:12:40.000 Was she like a fresh off the boat or a good English? 1.00
01:12:44.000 She was like one or two.
01:12:46.000 You know how they got one, two.
01:12:49.000 Yeah.
01:12:50.000 You didn't like that one?
01:12:51.000 That was great.
01:12:52.000 No.
01:12:53.000 But it is.
01:12:54.000 Yeah.
01:12:55.000 One or two.
01:12:56.000 What's your, what's your prescription?
01:12:59.000 Two.
01:13:00.000 No.
01:13:01.000 What's your, what's your negative 1.5.
01:13:05.000 Oh, it's not bad at all.
01:13:07.000 Thank you. 0.99
01:13:08.000 Damn. 0.99
01:13:09.000 It's getting worse. 1.00
01:13:10.000 Mine just got better.
01:13:12.000 Wow.
01:13:13.000 Or they just like did a minor adjustment so they could just charge me.
01:13:16.000 Cause otherwise it's like, bro, why I have the same prescription. 0.97
01:13:19.000 Why the fuck do I have to do this every two years? 0.88
01:13:21.000 Otherwise they won't like let you order glasses if you haven't done. 0.98
01:13:24.000 Yeah.
01:13:25.000 And I examined like two years or whatever.
01:13:26.000 But there's some websites where you can do that.
01:13:28.000 Yeah.
01:13:29.000 Yeah.
01:13:30.000 There was one.
01:13:31.000 Is any?
01:13:32.000 Yeah.
01:13:33.000 That's what I used.
01:13:34.000 Anything else?
01:13:35.000 Any dates?
01:13:38.000 It's all topsy-turvy right now.
01:13:40.000 So just check the calendar.
01:13:41.000 Hans Kim.
01:13:42.000 Hans Kim.
01:13:43.000 .org.
01:13:44.000 DJ Hans Kim.
01:13:45.000 .ca.
01:13:46.000 Hans Kim.
01:13:47.000 .ca.
01:13:48.000 Yeah.
01:13:49.000 Yeah.
01:13:50.000 I have a link to ancestry.ca on there.
01:13:52.000 Yeah.
01:13:53.000 Just check me out online.
01:13:54.000 Showing me you're 40% Chinese. 1.00
01:13:56.000 Ethically Chinese.
01:13:58.000 Mostly Chinese.
01:14:00.000 That's awesome.
01:14:01.000 Wish I knew any Chinese.
01:14:03.000 Thank you for coming here.
01:14:04.000 Thanks for having me.
01:14:06.000 It's really far. 1.00
01:14:07.000 Glad we got to shoot this shit. 1.00
01:14:08.000 How long did it take you to get here? 1.00
01:14:10.000 22 minutes.
01:14:11.000 Let's go.
01:14:12.000 All right, bro.
01:14:13.000 Happy birthday.
01:14:14.000 We're going to see you and check out Hans at Hans Kim.
01:14:17.000 What is your Instagram?
01:14:19.000 At the real Hans Kim.
01:14:20.000 .org.
01:14:21.000 .org.
01:14:22.000 Hans Kim.
01:14:23.000 .org.
01:14:24.000 If you look hard enough, you'll find it.
01:14:26.000 He's like an NGO.
01:14:28.000 Yeah.
01:14:29.000 Help the homeless.
01:14:31.000 .org.
01:14:32.000 Nonprofit.
01:14:33.000 Help the homeless.
01:14:34.000 Also be rude to their face.
01:14:35.000 .org.
01:14:36.000 I'm a nonprofit. 1.00
01:14:37.000 I give all my money to hookers. 1.00
01:14:39.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:14:40.000 Accidentally.
01:14:41.000 Not on purpose.
01:14:43.000 Thank you guys.
01:14:44.000 Good night.