Bankas Podcast - Hans Kim ｜ Bankas Podcast

00:00:00.000 Get more if we need it.

00:00:06.000 So people think you're political.

00:00:08.000 Yeah.

00:00:09.000 Who?

00:00:10.000 Brian Redman and Andre Kim.

00:00:14.000 Andre Kim's just trying to chirp.

00:00:16.000 You're like, yeah, he's like the new Asian in town, dude.

00:00:18.000 Yeah, maybe he's feeling a little insecurity.

00:00:21.000 Yeah, being so Asian.

00:00:23.000 Yeah, he's been called Hans Kim a lot.

00:00:26.000 I've been Asian here for a while now, so I'm used to it.

00:00:29.000 I'm used to it, but he's nearly Asian in Texas.

00:00:32.000 Yeah, it's a different vibe.

00:00:34.000 Yeah.

00:00:35.000 Did you know you knew him from New York?

00:00:37.000 No, apparently we never met, but he said he knew about me.

00:00:41.000 That's sick.

00:00:42.000 Yeah.

00:00:43.000 But why?

00:00:44.000 What do they say?

00:00:45.000 Like your political like left wing?

00:00:47.000 They think definitely.

00:00:50.000 I mean, what does that even mean though?

00:00:53.000 Really?

00:00:54.000 That I pay too much attention to the news.

00:00:57.000 Do you?

00:00:58.000 Yeah, I guess so.

00:00:59.000 You're watching that every day.

00:01:01.000 I'm watching like streamers.

00:01:03.000 Yeah.

00:01:04.000 I like watching political shit because it's like relevant and it's also new like talking

00:01:09.000 about dating like everyone's been dating, but like the new tariff bill.

00:01:14.000 Plato doesn't know shit about that.

00:01:17.000 So is that what's going on with the tariff?

00:01:19.000 I think the courts are blocking it now so that he can't do it.

00:01:24.000 I feel like the tariffs never happened.

00:01:26.000 Yeah.

00:01:27.000 It was just a myth.

00:01:28.000 Yeah.

00:01:29.000 It's like the gold standard.

00:01:30.000 It's kind of smart though.

00:01:31.000 No, to like just lie.

00:01:33.000 Yeah.

00:01:34.000 I mean, I guess so.

00:01:35.000 Then you don't have to do anything.

00:01:36.000 You can just talk all day.

00:01:38.000 Yeah.

00:01:39.000 I mean, he got.

00:01:40.000 Yeah.

00:01:41.000 Fuck.

00:01:42.000 I'm trying to.

00:01:43.000 I don't even.

00:01:44.000 The only political shit from the left that's like annoying really is like the trans kids

00:01:50.000 thing or like that's like that's the only thing where it's like, hey guys, like why

00:01:54.000 are we focusing on this?

00:01:56.000 Yeah.

00:01:57.000 You know what I mean?

00:01:58.000 Where like other stuff's like, yeah, we need to help poor people.

00:02:01.000 I just don't think that.

00:02:02.000 Like I think.

00:02:03.000 Yeah.

00:02:04.000 Poor people need help.

00:02:05.000 I don't know if they need money though.

00:02:06.000 Yeah.

00:02:07.000 Like they need money.

00:02:08.000 What are you going to do?

00:02:09.000 Yell at them?

00:02:10.000 Yeah.

00:02:11.000 You can't just yell your way out of this problem.

00:02:15.000 No, but you got to like educate.

00:02:17.000 You got to like put money into education and like create a bunch of like ways.

00:02:21.000 But a lot of people are just mentally ill and can't be helped, which is kind of.

00:02:25.000 Part of the issue.

00:02:26.000 Why do you think we create so many mentally ill people?

00:02:31.000 Where does that come from?

00:02:33.000 Bad upbringings and blacks.

00:02:36.000 I mean, are most homeless people black or white?

00:02:39.000 I feel like they're white.

00:02:40.000 You think so?

00:02:41.000 In Austin, they're pretty black.

00:02:43.000 I think it's like football.

00:02:45.000 It's like a disproportionate amount is black, but there's also whites out there.

00:02:50.000 So there's more black homeless.

00:02:52.000 Yeah.

00:02:53.000 I mean, well, black homeless.

00:02:55.000 We know why that's happening.

00:02:57.000 White.

00:02:58.000 Gangster rep.

00:02:59.000 Just no.

00:03:00.000 No.

00:03:01.000 Daddy wasn't there.

00:03:02.000 Yeah.

00:03:03.000 The war on drugs.

00:03:04.000 No, I don't.

00:03:05.000 I mean, or they just leave.

00:03:07.000 That's a southern thing.

00:03:08.000 I think that there's a homeless thing.

00:03:10.000 You can't solve that.

00:03:12.000 Like that isn't a solvable thing.

00:03:14.000 Okay.

00:03:15.000 I mean, you can solve it later.

00:03:16.000 Like you can like work on solving the next round of it.

00:03:19.000 You know what I mean?

00:03:20.000 Yeah.

00:03:21.000 Like the next, like the kids.

00:03:22.000 We can cut it off at the joke or the street.

00:03:24.000 You can educate kids and try to get them to be more into being successful.

00:03:29.000 But you know, you're not going to help a 45 year old homeless guy unless he wants it.

00:03:35.000 Yeah.

00:03:36.000 I'm sure there.

00:03:37.000 Remember that guy with the big booming voice that got a radio job.

00:03:41.000 His name was like John Lennon or something.

00:03:43.000 It was like a famous guy.

00:03:44.000 His name was also his name.

00:03:46.000 There's a lot of help for homeless people.

00:03:48.000 They just don't take it.

00:03:49.000 I think.

00:03:50.000 Would you want to do a challenge where you're homeless and you try to, you know, get a business

00:03:56.000 going or sell lemonade or something?

00:03:58.000 Yeah.

00:03:59.000 I mean, not even that.

00:04:00.000 But I mean, like there's programs like obviously they have like tons of criminal record.

00:04:04.000 But like if they, you know, there's like that homeless place downtown in Austin.

00:04:09.000 Arch.

00:04:10.000 Yeah.

00:04:11.000 Like they can go there and be like, hey, I want to fix everything.

00:04:13.000 I want to get clean.

00:04:14.000 I want to get a job.

00:04:15.000 I want to get a house.

00:04:16.000 They'll help you do it.

00:04:17.000 Yeah.

00:04:18.000 But what's the fucking reward?

00:04:20.000 You get to work at McDonald's.

00:04:22.000 Congrats.

00:04:23.000 I mean, for a bit.

00:04:24.000 Yeah.

00:04:25.000 I mean, if I'm just saying like it's better than being homeless.

00:04:28.000 I think that's why people are street.

00:04:29.000 People are homeless is because they don't want to nine to five.

00:04:32.000 They're just lazy, bro.

00:04:33.000 But it's and they're true.

00:04:35.000 They're addicted to drugs.

00:04:36.000 They're addicted to drugs.

00:04:37.000 Drugs.

00:04:38.000 I would be homeless than work at a fast food restaurant for 20 years.

00:04:42.000 Yeah.

00:04:43.000 I did it for like a year.

00:04:45.000 I wouldn't.

00:04:46.000 You'd rather work at a fast food restaurant.

00:04:48.000 I mean, I rather do this, but I mean the best.

00:04:54.000 Yeah.

00:04:55.000 But like job.

00:04:56.000 Yeah.

00:04:57.000 I don't want to like you could work at a fast food restaurant and like still have, you know,

00:05:01.000 get like laid and stuff.

00:05:03.000 You're just like a homeless guy.

00:05:05.000 Like that's I mean, maybe they're getting laid.

00:05:07.000 Maybe that's kind of like rape at that point.

00:05:10.000 But everything's rape for them.

00:05:13.000 Can homeless people consent or are they so poor that at the back of their minds, they're

00:05:18.000 just trying to get housing the whole time.

00:05:20.000 So they're actually every time you fuck a homeless, you're raping them.

00:05:24.000 The thing is, like in China, they have crazy people and homeless people.

00:05:27.000 They just put them in jail right away.

00:05:29.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:05:30.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:05:31.000 Like the countries where it's like, why aren't there any homeless people in this country?

00:05:35.000 Because they don't because it's like illegal.

00:05:37.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:38.000 It's like a sign of a free country that you have people just who can just sleep outside

00:05:42.000 all the time.

00:05:43.000 But Canada is better than America.

00:05:46.000 We're homeless for homeless.

00:05:48.000 Probably not just in the sense that.

00:05:51.000 There's probably more programs like that.

00:05:54.000 It's better if you want to not be homeless and you're homeless.

00:05:56.000 Yeah.

00:05:57.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:58.000 But if you just want to be homeless, it's probably better here because the weather's

00:06:01.000 warmer.

00:06:02.000 Yeah.

00:06:03.000 You can be homeless and be like, I'm going to go to California and be homeless.

00:06:06.000 Yeah.

00:06:07.000 And like have the best homeless life or Seattle or here.

00:06:10.000 But then it's overcrowded with other competitors.

00:06:13.000 But they like that.

00:06:14.000 That's like their little village.

00:06:16.000 I would want to be homeless in Vancouver, BC if I had to be homeless in Canada.

00:06:21.000 Hastings?

00:06:22.000 Hastings?

00:06:23.000 East Hastings?

00:06:24.000 You've seen it?

00:06:25.000 That's where all the Indians are?

00:06:26.000 That's where all the homeless people are.

00:06:27.000 Yeah.

00:06:28.000 Is that a part of downtown?

00:06:30.000 Yeah.

00:06:31.000 Pretty much.

00:06:32.000 It's like the east part of downtown.

00:06:34.000 It's just.

00:06:35.000 Yeah.

00:06:36.000 It's kind of bad.

00:06:37.000 It's a bad place to be homeless, I think, because there's like so that's they were doing

00:06:42.000 a thing like there was cartels there and they were like putting like weapons into people's

00:06:47.000 tents.

00:06:48.000 They were just like, can you just hold on to this?

00:06:49.000 And then they had to like raid all these tents and like they were just hiding all these

00:06:54.000 like weapons.

00:06:55.000 Gang members were like hiding shit with the homeless.

00:06:58.000 Nice.

00:06:59.000 I mean, it's.

00:07:00.000 Yeah.

00:07:01.000 You think about homeless people a lot?

00:07:04.000 Uh, I guess so.

00:07:06.000 Politically.

00:07:07.000 Yeah.

00:07:08.000 But I mean, I wish I was nicer to them day to day.

00:07:11.000 But politically, I want to help them.

00:07:13.000 But in person, you're like, get the fuck out of your face.

00:07:16.000 It's hilarious.

00:07:17.000 It's hilarious.

00:07:18.000 In person, you're a Republican and then online you're a Democrat.

00:07:21.000 Yeah.

00:07:22.000 If they're far away, it's easy to be nice.

00:07:24.000 Well, you lived in New York.

00:07:25.000 Like if you live in a big city or you're brought up in a big city, you kind of have

00:07:30.000 a way of dealing with homeless people.

00:07:32.000 It's harsh, but you pretty much have to do it.

00:07:34.000 Yeah.

00:07:35.000 Like I have a buddy who's from the east coast of Canada and he's trying to live here.

00:07:41.000 Luke.

00:07:42.000 Hey.

00:07:43.000 Luke Lawrence.

00:07:45.000 Luke Lawrence.

00:07:46.000 He fucking.

00:07:47.000 Prince of.

00:07:48.000 Prince of Newfoundland, dude.

00:07:50.000 He's literally the Prince of Newfoundland.

00:07:51.000 But he, some homeless person came up to him and was like saying some crazy shit.

00:07:55.000 And he's like looking them right in the eye.

00:07:57.000 And he's like, what?

00:07:58.000 What?

00:07:59.000 And it's like, no, dude, you don't do that.

00:08:00.000 You just go, sorry, I don't have.

00:08:02.000 Huh?

00:08:03.000 What are you saying?

00:08:04.000 Yeah.

00:08:05.000 Yeah.

00:08:06.000 That's literally what he did.

00:08:07.000 I literally can't understand you right now.

00:08:09.000 Yeah.

00:08:10.000 He's like, say it again.

00:08:11.000 I'm like, dude, just let them go.

00:08:13.000 But yeah, it's.

00:08:14.000 Yeah.

00:08:15.000 He's like, oh, they have something to say to me.

00:08:17.000 It's like, it's just nonsense.

00:08:19.000 They do that.

00:08:20.000 So homeless people in Austin are just the worst dressed homeless people.

00:08:24.000 Like people are like, they're so bad here.

00:08:26.000 It's like the worst.

00:08:27.000 They just look bad.

00:08:28.000 Yeah.

00:08:29.000 They're really bad.

00:08:30.000 They're allowed to express themselves through nudity because it's the weather.

00:08:34.000 So good.

00:08:35.000 But there's almost people in New York.

00:08:36.000 They don't look as bad as like any single homeless person here.

00:08:41.000 They just look terrible.

00:08:42.000 They got the jeans are falling off.

00:08:44.000 I took a picture of this guy on the subway.

00:08:47.000 His whole leg was swollen.

00:08:49.000 Wow.

00:08:50.000 And there was like pus coming out of it.

00:08:52.000 You took a picture of that.

00:08:53.000 Yeah.

00:08:54.000 I just saw a guy suffering.

00:08:55.000 I did that recently.

00:08:56.000 Actually, I took a video of a woman who was in a car accident.

00:08:59.000 And I was like, right before we pulled up to it, I was like reaching over to my buddy's

00:09:04.000 like steering wheel and pushing the horn because we were just in traffic on the smallest

00:09:10.000 like road.

00:09:11.000 I'm like, what the fuck?

00:09:12.000 I'm like, eh, eh, eh, eh.

00:09:13.000 People started moving after that.

00:09:15.000 But then there was like a woman who had her face like, she was like clearly in a car

00:09:19.000 accident.

00:09:20.000 And I was just like taking a video.

00:09:23.000 It's pretty fucked up.

00:09:24.000 When you're fucking crashed on the side of the road, you just see a bunch of people

00:09:28.000 Ben Bank is using it as promo.

00:09:30.000 With your mouth wide open?

00:09:32.000 I'll be in Poughkeepsie tonight.

00:09:33.000 Poughkeepsie has like an unbelievable amount of car accidents.

00:09:36.000 That's where it happened.

00:09:37.000 That's where we saw it.

00:09:39.000 Interesting.

00:09:40.000 In New York?

00:09:41.000 Yeah.

00:09:42.000 Pennsylvania?

00:09:43.000 No, it's New York.

00:09:44.000 I wonder why.

00:09:45.000 Maybe it's because the design of the roads or the people are angrier.

00:09:49.000 It was raining and somebody was like, oh, when it rains here, everybody fucking crashes.

00:09:54.000 What's wrong with you people?

00:09:57.000 I mean, the roads are pretty weird.

00:09:59.000 Like they're like tiny roads.

00:10:01.000 Have you been to Poughkeepsie?

00:10:03.000 I don't think so.

00:10:04.000 It's like an hour and a half north of New York, basically.

00:10:08.000 Yeah.

00:10:09.000 I mean, I've probably been near it.

00:10:11.000 I went all the way up and down that thing.

00:10:14.000 Apparently, Louis CK lives 20 minutes from that club now.

00:10:18.000 There.

00:10:19.000 Laugh it up, Poughkeepsie.

00:10:20.000 That's where he worked on his whole hour, his new hour.

00:10:23.000 That's cool.

00:10:24.000 You can just pick a town and live there when you get famous enough and just do sets every

00:10:28.000 day.

00:10:29.000 Yeah.

00:10:30.000 That's really what I want to do.

00:10:31.000 To be honest.

00:10:32.000 Imagine going up at a weekend in Poughkeepsie.

00:10:34.000 You're like, I got my hour.

00:10:35.000 You're going over and then he's like, hey, Louis CK wants to do 30 minutes.

00:10:39.000 Is that okay?

00:10:40.000 Yeah.

00:10:41.000 Well, at that point.

00:10:42.000 Yeah.

00:10:43.000 You should.

00:10:44.000 But yeah, no, I know what you mean, but also I feel like they knew like when, you know

00:10:49.000 what I mean?

00:10:50.000 Like when he's not on tour, people, they just kind of know, but it also sells out the room.

00:10:53.000 So.

00:10:54.000 Oh yeah.

00:10:55.000 He doesn't need to go up.

00:10:56.000 People are in your show.

00:10:57.000 But I wonder what, I think he's still, I don't know if he's going up and doing half

00:11:02.000 an hour.

00:11:03.000 He might even be doing just like the 10 minutes or whatever.

00:11:05.000 I'm just doing a lot of it.

00:11:06.000 I mean, standup becomes such a different thing at different points in your career.

00:11:11.000 So to him, like a 30 minutes, that might be nothing.

00:11:14.000 Yeah.

00:11:15.000 But I think they also value the 10 minute spot.

00:11:20.000 Cause I think he values like not being able to do as much so he can only work on like.

00:11:25.000 He's some new 10, write it out and recite it better.

00:11:28.000 But he's, yeah, he's very, you know, the way he does it is very methodical for sure.

00:11:34.000 Well, I think it's thought out.

00:11:35.000 I think we shouldn't be so obsessed with time.

00:11:39.000 I think it should be like, Hey, go up there.

00:11:41.000 See how you do.

00:11:42.000 I'll be watching the whole thing.

00:11:43.000 Just leave whenever you got to leave.

00:11:45.000 Like everyone's like 10 minutes.

00:11:47.000 You do 15.

00:11:48.000 You do 12.

00:11:49.000 It's like, who really cares?

00:11:50.000 Like that's on some shows it's important, but it's like 10 comics.

00:11:55.000 Yeah.

00:11:56.000 Just, you just don't want people to go over.

00:11:58.000 Yeah.

00:11:59.000 But some people need that.

00:12:00.000 They grew up with that and that they need to know how long they're doing.

00:12:03.000 Yeah.

00:12:04.000 And then if they miss, you mean like if you're headlining?

00:12:07.000 No, just in general, just like, yeah.

00:12:11.000 Time.

00:12:12.000 Why is it so strict?

00:12:14.000 Because there's, I mean, they're trying to get so many people into the show in a limited

00:12:18.000 amount of time.

00:12:19.000 Yeah.

00:12:20.000 Yeah, I guess so.

00:12:21.000 But like, yeah, I mean, it helps to get the show moving, but why do they have time limits?

00:12:26.000 Why can't every comic do an hour?

00:12:28.000 There used to be a show when I started doing comedy and it was in a weed vape lounge in

00:12:34.000 Toronto that doesn't even exist anymore.

00:12:36.000 It was called Village Vapor Lounge.

00:12:37.000 It was like in the gay area.

00:12:39.000 And every Sunday they would have a show at 1 p.m. called do an hour dummy.

00:12:46.000 And only like four comics would show up.

00:12:48.000 But you just do an hour or try to a lot of people would bail after like 20 minutes because

00:12:54.000 there's all open micers.

00:12:55.000 I would try to do the full hour, just like make it up, do whatever, do crowd work.

00:13:02.000 There'd be like one audience member.

00:13:04.000 It was basically doing it for no one.

00:13:05.000 It was crazy.

00:13:06.000 Yeah.

00:13:07.000 It's like I could have done this at home.

00:13:08.000 But I want to bring that back.

00:13:10.000 Just do it.

00:13:11.000 Everybody do an hour.

00:13:12.000 Every comic on the show do an hour.

00:13:14.000 It's a five hour show.

00:13:15.000 It's five comics.

00:13:17.000 It's ridiculous.

00:13:18.000 Yeah.

00:13:19.000 It's kind of fun.

00:13:20.000 Consumable or good for business.

00:13:22.000 No, no.

00:13:23.000 That's why we have time limits, bro.

00:13:25.000 I don't think you need it for every show.

00:13:27.000 Do you go over?

00:13:28.000 Do you go over?

00:13:29.000 No.

00:13:30.000 I just think like some shows, it's necessary.

00:13:32.000 Like South America, how they don't have like, like nobody stops at this red light.

00:13:35.000 Just fucking keep going.

00:13:36.000 Yeah.

00:13:37.000 I think it should be more free flowing.

00:13:38.000 And then you'll have more organic sets and people.

00:13:40.000 Like you should have like a time max.

00:13:43.000 And like, oh, if you do 15, that means, you know.

00:13:46.000 Well, I think 10 is the max when they say 10 minutes.

00:13:49.000 It's supposed to be the max.

00:13:50.000 You're supposed to like wrap it up at nine.

00:13:52.000 Yeah.

00:13:53.000 But it's not like you can go under and then.

00:13:55.000 You could if you want.

00:13:56.000 Right.

00:13:57.000 But you have to let them know.

00:13:58.000 But why would anybody want to do less comedy?

00:14:01.000 Well, because they're not very good and they're struggling.

00:14:04.000 Yeah.

00:14:05.000 And now you want them up there for 10 minutes.

00:14:06.000 Are you on the shows with those people?

00:14:09.000 I mean, sometimes I book them on the regular show every Tuesday at the Vulcan.

00:14:15.000 Yeah.

00:14:16.000 But no, I think I think it's just like like the host might not be there and watching like

00:14:22.000 he's expecting.

00:14:23.000 I remember that next time.

00:14:24.000 I'm going to be like, Ben, you did 20 minutes.

00:14:26.000 I thought there was no, no term limits.

00:14:29.000 No term limits.

00:14:30.000 Yeah, I think.

00:14:31.000 No time limits.

00:14:32.000 No term limits.

00:14:33.000 I think it's I think it's unnecessarily rigid.

00:14:36.000 Rigid.

00:14:37.000 Enforced.

00:14:38.000 Yeah.

00:14:39.000 Yeah.

00:14:40.000 I mean, at Mothership, it's because there's so many, you know, there's a lot of comics

00:14:44.000 are trying to get in.

00:14:45.000 And then the shows.

00:14:47.000 They run pretty long, though.

00:14:49.000 Like this.

00:14:50.000 It's not like they're.

00:14:51.000 Yeah.

00:14:52.000 Like an hour and 10 minute show.

00:14:53.000 It's like a.

00:14:54.000 Yeah.

00:14:55.000 It's a.

00:14:56.000 It's hard to convey how much time you want people to do without setting a limit.

00:14:59.000 And then people are just going to do up to that time.

00:15:02.000 Yeah.

00:15:03.000 Yeah.

00:15:04.000 It's crazy that you thought about this.

00:15:06.000 Yeah, I know.

00:15:07.000 I just think people are too obsessed with the time.

00:15:10.000 Like who?

00:15:11.000 Like the people.

00:15:12.000 Like comedians.

00:15:13.000 Like, how much do you have?

00:15:14.000 I have 30 minutes.

00:15:15.000 It's like who.

00:15:16.000 Like sometimes it'll work in like liberal rooms and not.

00:15:19.000 And like there's so many more valuable traits of a comedian than how much time they

00:15:25.000 can do.

00:15:26.000 I'd rather see someone kill for five than bomb for 30.

00:15:29.000 Biggest comedian in the world.

00:15:30.000 He does.

00:15:31.000 It's not the example that was in my head.

00:15:38.000 Yeah.

00:15:39.000 But I know what you mean.

00:15:40.000 But like also.

00:15:41.000 Yeah.

00:15:42.000 Like.

00:15:43.000 But what you're saying is more.

00:15:44.000 You just want to be ruthless and be like, this guy sucks.

00:15:45.000 He should do two minutes.

00:15:46.000 This guy's great.

00:15:47.000 Do 20.

00:15:48.000 This guy is brutal.

00:15:50.000 Do four.

00:15:51.000 Which is even funnier.

00:15:52.000 Actually.

00:15:53.000 Really.

00:15:54.000 You want to be stricter with times.

00:15:55.000 No.

00:15:56.000 You know, I want people to.

00:15:57.000 And I should only be doing two.

00:15:59.000 You should feel like it should be over.

00:16:01.000 You should be like, oh, OK, I'm done now.

00:16:03.000 You shouldn't just like struggle.

00:16:06.000 Like.

00:16:07.000 Um.

00:16:08.000 It's like driving a manual car.

00:16:10.000 You just.

00:16:11.000 Without putting the clutch in or something.

00:16:13.000 You just feel it.

00:16:14.000 Yeah.

00:16:15.000 Is that what you.

00:16:16.000 I don't know.

00:16:17.000 I don't know about this theory on comedy.

00:16:19.000 No more time limits.

00:16:20.000 I just think.

00:16:21.000 Everybody just do what they want.

00:16:22.000 I think like 10 minutes.

00:16:24.000 Everyone does 10 minutes.

00:16:25.000 Oh, everyone.

00:16:26.000 Had 10 minutes exactly to say.

00:16:28.000 Some people had more.

00:16:29.000 Some people have less.

00:16:30.000 Yeah.

00:16:31.000 But people go under and over.

00:16:32.000 It's just.

00:16:33.000 It's like.

00:16:34.000 Yeah.

00:16:35.000 Marker.

00:16:36.000 You're not supposed to go like four minutes over.

00:16:37.000 It's not a marker.

00:16:38.000 It's a deadline.

00:16:39.000 It's strict.

00:16:40.000 Have you gone over the time limit before and gotten like in trouble or something?

00:16:46.000 I'm sure I have.

00:16:48.000 It's not like my.

00:16:49.000 It's not like what I do, though.

00:16:51.000 It's not your thing.

00:16:52.000 It's a black comic thing.

00:16:54.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:16:56.000 Time works a little different for them.

00:16:57.000 Yeah, they're more organic.

00:16:59.000 That's what I like.

00:17:01.000 I like when I like when you tell a guy to do 10.

00:17:04.000 He does 35.

00:17:05.000 Hmm.

00:17:06.000 That's what you like.

00:17:07.000 Maybe 14.

00:17:09.000 14.

00:17:10.000 Hey, sometimes I don't give people the right amount of time.

00:17:13.000 I mean, if you're murdering.

00:17:14.000 Yeah.

00:17:15.000 But if you're murdering, you also are like, hey, that was 10 minutes.

00:17:17.000 I'm done.

00:17:18.000 Yeah.

00:17:19.000 You don't want to risk it.

00:17:20.000 If you're doing if you're doing 14, you bombed.

00:17:21.000 Probably.

00:17:22.000 Most likely.

00:17:23.000 Yeah.

00:17:24.000 Comedy is as a wicked mistress.

00:17:28.000 Yeah.

00:17:29.000 You still have the spreadsheet.

00:17:32.000 It's not really a spreadsheet.

00:17:34.000 You gave it up.

00:17:35.000 It's more like three columns made that shit up, didn't you?

00:17:38.000 No, you had it at one point.

00:17:42.000 I still use it.

00:17:43.000 I don't have a notebook.

00:17:44.000 You only write shit in the.

00:17:46.000 Yeah.

00:17:47.000 Graph paper.

00:17:48.000 Yeah.

00:17:49.000 You just have a great.

00:17:50.000 You have like a notebook.

00:17:51.000 But instead of lines, just graphs.

00:17:52.000 Yeah.

00:17:53.000 Just a number links to my documents.

00:17:57.000 Yeah.

00:17:58.000 I have a notebook.

00:18:00.000 Oh, I mean, I have several notebooks, but you use a notebook to write your set list

00:18:05.000 or do you not do set lists?

00:18:06.000 I do set lists on the phone.

00:18:09.000 Um, notebook I use for.

00:18:11.000 That's what I do.

00:18:12.000 Just kind of brainstorming mostly.

00:18:13.000 Or like reviewing.

00:18:14.000 That's good to write.

00:18:15.000 Reviewing.

00:18:16.000 Um, sets.

00:18:17.000 Yeah.

00:18:18.000 Um, or just, you just sit and critique yourself.

00:18:22.000 Sometimes.

00:18:23.000 Yeah.

00:18:24.000 It's good.

00:18:25.000 Like a lot.

00:18:26.000 I should do it.

00:18:27.000 I should do that every day.

00:18:28.000 I wake up and.

00:18:29.000 What the fuck was this?

00:18:30.000 I don't know.

00:18:31.000 It just seems a little.

00:18:32.000 Yeah.

00:18:33.000 No, it's.

00:18:34.000 I mean, it probably.

00:18:35.000 I don't know about healthy.

00:18:36.000 I don't think anything about being good at something is healthy necessarily.

00:18:39.000 But if you're not good at anything, that's probably not healthy either.

00:18:42.000 And then you're home.

00:18:44.000 Yeah.

00:18:45.000 And you fucking.

00:18:46.000 McDonald's or you want to fucking do heroin on the street?

00:18:48.000 You got.

00:18:49.000 I'm a fucking liberal.

00:18:50.000 I'm a compassionate liberal.

00:18:51.000 You don't want to do.

00:18:52.000 You don't want to work at McDonald's.

00:18:53.000 You stay there.

00:18:54.000 I'll find some tax dollars for you.

00:18:56.000 You got to go to the homeless.

00:18:58.000 Be like, hey, do some time.

00:19:00.000 Do five minutes.

00:19:01.000 Exactly.

00:19:02.000 Do a homeless comedy show with no time limits.

00:19:06.000 It'll help.

00:19:08.000 Creek in the cave.

00:19:09.000 Free food.

00:19:10.000 If you for homeless people that are willing to do a five minute spot.

00:19:16.000 Or just do kill Tony with homeless people.

00:19:18.000 That's what we already do.

00:19:20.000 Yeah, but they're not like.

00:19:23.000 Like you don't.

00:19:24.000 I don't know.

00:19:25.000 You don't need a police officer on stage yet.

00:19:28.000 You know, they got patted down.

00:19:29.000 They get vetted though a little bit like they're going to walk in as a metal detector.

00:19:33.000 If you're like a heroin addict and you walked in to sign up for kill Tony like they would

00:19:37.000 know and probably be like, no, you can't do it.

00:19:39.000 But if but if you wanted that, if you made an ad where you're like all homeless people of Austin, Texas, free food and drinks.

00:19:50.000 If you come to and perform comedy, you just have to do.

00:19:54.000 They need a purpose like no time limit.

00:19:57.000 Maybe we could find a purpose for them where they aren't so outward with what their thoughts are because I don't really want to know what their thoughts are.

00:20:04.000 I just want them to get better.

00:20:06.000 Maybe they could take up something that's easier to ignore like painting.

00:20:10.000 I think the only way to make them better is to euthanize just like have like a like a bottom rung that just gets murdered.

00:20:22.000 But I mean, I don't know.

00:20:25.000 I don't know.

00:20:26.000 I don't think about homeless people.

00:20:27.000 I think that they don't deserve.

00:20:29.000 I was still thinking about my comedy time limit thing.

00:20:34.000 Yeah.

00:20:35.000 You.

00:20:36.000 So what?

00:20:37.000 How much?

00:20:38.000 So how much material?

00:20:39.000 So if somebody is like, how much material do you have?

00:20:40.000 You just say.

00:20:42.000 I have a lot of 50,000.

00:20:44.000 50,000 characters.

00:20:46.000 Yeah.

00:20:47.000 They're all Chinese.

00:20:49.000 500,000 characters in Korea.

00:20:51.000 Yeah.

00:20:52.000 Your set list is just on one of those scrolls.

00:20:56.000 This Korean fucking.

00:20:58.000 I mean.

00:20:59.000 Not a Jewish thing too.

00:21:01.000 Yeah, I guess so.

00:21:02.000 It's all.

00:21:03.000 Do they have scrolls for Chinese?

00:21:05.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:21:06.000 For Korean and shit.

00:21:07.000 They look different.

00:21:09.000 Maybe the dragon.

00:21:10.000 Yeah.

00:21:11.000 It's more ornate.

00:21:13.000 Do you think I'm racist towards Chinese people?

00:21:17.000 No.

00:21:19.000 Are you?

00:21:20.000 I think you're racist to lots of people.

00:21:23.000 Equally.

00:21:24.000 Yeah.

00:21:25.000 Yeah.

00:21:26.000 I think.

00:21:27.000 But for fun only.

00:21:28.000 Yeah.

00:21:29.000 I mean, it doesn't affect your day to day.

00:21:32.000 Depends if I had a coffee or not that day.

00:21:35.000 I mean.

00:21:36.000 I found a way to be in a good place with black people.

00:21:40.000 I was a little rude to Uber recently that I was like, drop me off on the side.

00:21:46.000 I have a joke about this, but like she literally was.

00:21:49.000 She literally said no speaking English.

00:21:52.000 No speaking.

00:21:53.000 I hate that shit.

00:21:54.000 Cause you know, they understand what you stop left.

00:21:57.000 Right.

00:21:58.000 They understand the basics, but she's like no speaking.

00:22:00.000 And I was like, you better fucking learn speaking.

00:22:02.000 I'm the fucking.

00:22:03.000 You said that.

00:22:05.000 Yeah.

00:22:06.000 Yeah.

00:22:07.000 They should.

00:22:08.000 No, I didn't say it like that.

00:22:09.000 I was like, well, you know, you should really learn English.

00:22:11.000 You should really learn English.

00:22:13.000 And then when I was getting up.

00:22:14.000 When you're talking to English speakers all day, you don't want to pick something up.

00:22:18.000 At the very least, you should learn English for, you know, to, for your inevitable ice

00:22:23.000 arrest.

00:22:24.000 Yeah.

00:22:25.000 So you can have a, I guess they do.

00:22:26.000 I have.

00:22:27.000 I know.

00:22:28.000 Yeah.

00:22:29.000 I guess they do speak Spanish.

00:22:30.000 I think.

00:22:31.000 Yeah.

00:22:32.000 I mean, some people like foreigners, they'll be like, I don't want to participate in your

00:22:37.000 social game.

00:22:38.000 So I'm just going to say, I don't speak English.

00:22:40.000 But a lot of these people are taking jobs from the homeless.

00:22:43.000 Like you want a homeless Uber driver?

00:22:46.000 Well, he wouldn't have been homeless if a Mexican didn't steal his dad.

00:22:49.000 So now he has a job forever.

00:22:52.000 But that's like one of the things where you're like, Oh, would you rather be homeless or

00:22:55.000 like working at McDonald's?

00:22:56.000 Like the fucking immigrants are like riding on the top of a train for like a week.

00:23:04.000 And like working with cartels just to do that.

00:23:08.000 So I think that it is.

00:23:10.000 And then they're them.

00:23:11.000 Yeah.

00:23:12.000 Oh, sure.

00:23:13.000 How's that?

00:23:15.000 My wife is a solar salesman.

00:23:18.000 Oh, shit.

00:23:21.000 I don't know.

00:23:22.000 It's a package.

00:23:25.000 It scared the shit out of me.

00:23:28.000 Why is the solar sale?

00:23:30.000 I don't know.

00:23:31.000 I thought because my wife lost her key or needed to get back in.

00:23:37.000 Yeah.

00:23:38.000 You might have had to get up.

00:23:39.000 I know.

00:23:40.000 That would have been awful.

00:23:41.000 Yeah, I think I think comedy, you know, like I don't think that I took a picture next

00:23:51.000 to David Lucas.

00:23:52.000 I look fucking anorexic.

00:23:54.000 I look like I look like but I think I'm getting thinner.

00:23:58.000 I keep getting thinner and then fatter and then thinner again.

00:24:00.000 Well, maybe you could just say you're big, not fat.

00:24:03.000 You're just a big guy.

00:24:05.000 I'm fat, bro.

00:24:06.000 Even if you got skinny, like I'm technically obese, you'd still be a big guy.

00:24:10.000 So it's not like you have an incentive to get small.

00:24:13.000 If I was skinny, I wouldn't be fat.

00:24:16.000 I don't like fat.

00:24:18.000 I don't like fat people.

00:24:20.000 You don't think that's how you are naturally.

00:24:22.000 You're just like a fat guy.

00:24:23.000 No, I've been thin, dude.

00:24:25.000 Oh, really?

00:24:26.000 Yeah.

00:24:27.000 Like last year, like literally gaining 50 pounds moving here.

00:24:30.000 I just think your body is just kind of big and that's great.

00:24:34.000 You know, I wish I had a big body.

00:24:36.000 It's horrific.

00:24:37.000 It was a horrible body.

00:24:38.000 You have a lot of stuff going on.

00:24:39.000 Like I'm just like easily compartmentalized.

00:24:42.000 It just put me away, stash me up.

00:24:45.000 You don't eat.

00:24:46.000 You just eat kimchi.

00:24:48.000 I eat.

00:24:49.000 Yeah, no.

00:24:50.000 I did go to your house and kimchi was the only thing in your fridge.

00:24:54.000 That's because I eat out.

00:24:55.000 I do DoorDash a lot.

00:24:58.000 So convenient.

00:24:59.000 Did you ever work DoorDash?

00:25:01.000 Yeah.

00:25:02.000 When you first moved to Austin?

00:25:03.000 Maybe.

00:25:04.000 More in New York.

00:25:05.000 I had so much money when I moved here.

00:25:08.000 From?

00:25:09.000 From COVID government shit.

00:25:11.000 Oh.

00:25:12.000 I was loaded.

00:25:13.000 What's loaded to you?

00:25:14.000 Like $3,000 in the bank.

00:25:19.000 That's fucking almost homeless.

00:25:21.000 You think so?

00:25:22.000 That's like a month.

00:25:23.000 That's less than a month.

00:25:26.000 Well, now that's like rent.

00:25:29.000 Yeah.

00:25:30.000 But back then I was living in a van.

00:25:33.000 Very little was going out.

00:25:35.000 Yeah.

00:25:36.000 $3,000 was enough for me.

00:25:38.000 I had food stamps.

00:25:39.000 But then you, yeah.

00:25:40.000 Then I remember when you were on Kill Tony, you used to, I feel like, didn't Tony used

00:25:44.000 to ask you how much money you, like, you're like, how much do you have now?

00:25:47.000 Or some shit.

00:25:48.000 Probably.

00:25:49.000 You'd be like 20 grand.

00:25:50.000 Yeah.

00:25:51.000 Then you got your first apartment and stuff.

00:25:53.000 Which is pretty sweet.

00:25:55.000 Yeah.

00:25:56.000 I think it's not that much more.

00:25:57.000 Comedy is really, um, a wild ride.

00:26:01.000 And like, if you can do it, like a lot of people, like you meet them and you're like,

00:26:05.000 there's no, this is not gonna, you're not gonna, you know what I mean?

00:26:09.000 You get two minutes.

00:26:10.000 Yeah.

00:26:11.000 A lot of two minute open micers out there.

00:26:15.000 They just don't, they just have no idea, like, how fucking like long the road, like,

00:26:23.000 you know what I mean?

00:26:24.000 Like they have to keep doing it.

00:26:25.000 Like they, people just think like, oh, like for instance, like you got on Kill Tony, you

00:26:29.000 did your minute.

00:26:30.000 Was it the first time you did that, that you became a regular?

00:26:34.000 No.

00:26:35.000 Like third time.

00:26:36.000 So third time.

00:26:37.000 That's how many weeks did you wait for that?

00:26:40.000 Probably like 20, 15, 10.

00:26:44.000 Uh, I got here in March and May.

00:26:46.000 So like two months.

00:26:47.000 Two months.

00:26:48.000 So, but you went every week.

00:26:49.000 Yeah.

00:26:50.000 And I've been doing it 10 years.

00:26:51.000 So that's still like eight.

00:26:52.000 Yeah.

00:26:53.000 So you already did it 10 years.

00:26:54.000 Then you fucking did like eight, eight weeks waiting around third spot.

00:26:59.000 Then once you're regular, you had to come every week.

00:27:02.000 You know what I mean?

00:27:03.000 Like people like comics just think like, okay, if I could just get this one line.

00:27:06.000 If I could just get this one little thing.

00:27:08.000 Yeah.

00:27:09.000 Then it'll, it's like, no, that's just, if you get that, you're going to have to actually

00:27:13.000 do something a lot.

00:27:14.000 You're going to have to do way more shit.

00:27:16.000 Yeah.

00:27:17.000 That's why like people that get successful right away and then they go headlining.

00:27:20.000 It's like, fuck, now you have to do 50 minutes.

00:27:23.000 It's like, you just started.

00:27:25.000 It's like, even if you get success that early, it's what's the point?

00:27:28.000 Right.

00:27:29.000 Like how early?

00:27:30.000 Like who?

00:27:31.000 Like two years in like Preacher Lawson.

00:27:33.000 Preacher Lawson is a great comic, but like people like that.

00:27:37.000 Like Preacher Lawson is, was only two years in when you know, like people like the people

00:27:42.000 that have like a, like this guy's great.

00:27:44.000 I mean, you don't think that people who are two years, or like TikTok comics.

00:27:49.000 It's like, I'm agreeing with you.

00:27:52.000 Uh, yeah.

00:27:53.000 Like, um, agreeing with me.

00:27:55.000 Yeah.

00:27:56.000 Oh, like I thought you got to keep doing it.

00:27:58.000 Like if you're two years in and you get success, like some people have done, it's like, there's

00:28:04.000 no way to capitalize on it.

00:28:06.000 Cause you're like, I have to headline now.

00:28:08.000 So it's like, you got to do more of the thing that you wanted to go.

00:28:10.000 Yeah.

00:28:11.000 That's the thing too.

00:28:12.000 It's like, I'm two years in.

00:28:13.000 I'm going to move to Austin and try to get on Kill Tony.

00:28:15.000 It's like, yeah, you should just go to your town and do like eight years there and like

00:28:21.000 get some sort of popularity or some, some level of success, or at least learn whatever motivation

00:28:27.000 you need to write.

00:28:28.000 Some people need to be in New York to be like, Oh, I'm so close to making it.

00:28:31.000 Whatever helps motivate you write more jokes.

00:28:34.000 Yeah, it is really, um, you need a lot of jokes, especially if you're going to be posting

00:28:39.000 jokes all the time, or if you're going to put out specials, like you kind of.

00:28:44.000 Once you're actually touring and you're on the circuit, like you have to fucking get

00:28:49.000 rid of material.

00:28:50.000 You can't go back to some city like seven months later with the same fucking act.

00:28:57.000 Cause half the audience likes already saw you.

00:29:00.000 Yeah.

00:29:01.000 I mean, it's a, or you cancer cell.

00:29:04.000 You got to constantly renew or you can.

00:29:07.000 I'm like music.

00:29:08.000 And then like Louie talks about that as like, you can do it like the first time.

00:29:13.000 Then they want to come back and see you.

00:29:14.000 And then they see that you do the same thing.

00:29:16.000 And then they're like, okay, that's what that guy does.

00:29:19.000 And then they don't come back.

00:29:21.000 They don't come.

00:29:22.000 They don't come.

00:29:23.000 So you kind of have to, you have to be willing to burn a lot of material.

00:29:27.000 Yeah.

00:29:28.000 That's comedy.

00:29:29.000 Cause like comedy isn't like music.

00:29:30.000 Cause like comedy, you hear a joke and then you like know it, but music, you like, you

00:29:35.000 want to feel it again.

00:29:37.000 Yeah.

00:29:38.000 Well, music's like easier to recreate.

00:29:40.000 Yeah.

00:29:41.000 Like a joke sometimes only works like a hundred times and then it just starts getting weirder

00:29:45.000 or you don't tell it the same or it's a weird, the same.

00:29:49.000 You learn a lot about people's brains and words and ideas just by like how they handle

00:29:55.000 it.

00:29:56.000 Being up there, like seeing how they react and then be like, oh, they're done with that

00:30:00.000 one.

00:30:01.000 Yeah.

00:30:02.000 Yeah.

00:30:03.000 I mean, it's, it's a tough, like every show is kind of different.

00:30:06.000 Like, you know, you're meeting people for the first time.

00:30:10.000 Um, no matter what, like every show you do.

00:30:14.000 So you're kind of, you know, you, you really have to learn how to be yourself, like let

00:30:19.000 people know who you are like quickly.

00:30:21.000 Mm hmm.

00:30:22.000 You know what I mean?

00:30:23.000 Yeah.

00:30:24.000 And then it's hard to be like consistent with that.

00:30:25.000 Cause sometimes you're like, fuck these people.

00:30:27.000 I don't want to be myself, you know, but you kind of have to.

00:30:31.000 So it's a bit of a, yeah.

00:30:34.000 Yeah.

00:30:35.000 But Austin's like the best scene.

00:30:37.000 I think it is the best scene.

00:30:39.000 I mean, I don't know if it has the most shows, but it, I think it has the best shows.

00:30:43.000 Yeah.

00:30:44.000 Good comedy ratio of comedians to audience.

00:30:47.000 Like obviously if you're at the cellar in New York, it's packed, it's sold out, but

00:30:52.000 the vibes are way different than here.

00:30:54.000 The vibes here are like, people are like, this is, I came here for this.

00:30:59.000 It's the perfect crowd.

00:31:00.000 Yeah.

00:31:01.000 But then you go to like Roscoe's and it's like a totally different crowd from mothership

00:31:06.000 or like sunset.

00:31:07.000 Like they're all people who are just kind of like, I guess, I guess, I guess you can say

00:31:13.000 that.

00:31:14.000 And they're like sarcastically cheering.

00:31:15.000 They're more like, it's more like a Brooklyn-y vibe.

00:31:18.000 Yeah.

00:31:19.000 And they're confused.

00:31:20.000 They don't know who they are.

00:31:21.000 Cause if you try to talk to them like a liberal, they're like, we're in Texas.

00:31:25.000 But then if you try to talk to them like they're Texan, they're like, that's actually very wildly

00:31:29.000 offensive.

00:31:30.000 It's like weird.

00:31:31.000 They just choose whatever.

00:31:33.000 So you just have to like, get them on your side.

00:31:36.000 Yeah.

00:31:37.000 I'm not a huge fan of, um, like, like I would do like, you know how people are like eight,

00:31:45.000 I did like eight shows tonight.

00:31:46.000 It's like, dude, it's like, it's crazy.

00:31:49.000 You know what I mean?

00:31:50.000 Like, I guess if you're doing open mics and you're still trying to like, get your shit

00:31:54.000 together, but at a certain point it's like, okay, three shows.

00:31:57.000 I think if I do three shows, I'm like, that's a good amount of shows.

00:32:00.000 Yeah.

00:32:01.000 But they're also doing shorter sets.

00:32:02.000 They're doing five minutes, right?

00:32:03.000 Yeah.

00:32:04.000 But still five, eight, five minutes.

00:32:06.000 I don't know if that's helping.

00:32:08.000 Yeah.

00:32:09.000 Unless you're filming every single set and trying to go viral every single time, which

00:32:12.000 is really what some comics have started doing.

00:32:14.000 Cause they're just going viral.

00:32:15.000 Like at open mics saying wild shit.

00:32:18.000 Have you seen those videos?

00:32:19.000 A little bit.

00:32:20.000 It's like a comic.

00:32:21.000 I'll just have like 300,000 likes on a video of them in a room with like four people bombing.

00:32:26.000 You're like, this is crazy.

00:32:27.000 Yeah.

00:32:28.000 But that's, that's where shit's at though.

00:32:30.000 Like, I mean, I've, I see a lot more people with bigger rooms.

00:32:35.000 Do you think Austin's like, you love, like you're going to stay here.

00:32:39.000 You'd stay here no matter what.

00:32:42.000 Um, no, I'd move.

00:32:46.000 Did you, um, it's kind of comfortable here.

00:32:49.000 We don't have to talk about this, but I did hear that.

00:32:52.000 I don't know if this is true, but were you like robbed?

00:32:55.000 Robbed.

00:32:56.000 Yeah.

00:32:57.000 You were like robbed, but for like something really nice.

00:33:00.000 Yeah.

00:33:01.000 That's super sad.

00:33:02.000 Yeah.

00:33:03.000 I mean, can you tell us what happened?

00:33:05.000 Yeah.

00:33:06.000 Hooker.

00:33:07.000 Uh, I had sex with her.

00:33:09.000 She wasn't, I didn't know she was a hooker.

00:33:10.000 I didn't give her any money on purpose, but, uh, I invited her to my home.

00:33:16.000 Uh, it was a hooker.

00:33:18.000 She drugged my food.

00:33:20.000 I ordered food.

00:33:21.000 I passed out.

00:33:23.000 She stole my Rolex and like $20,000 in cash.

00:33:28.000 Wow.

00:33:29.000 Holy fuck.

00:33:30.000 When was this?

00:33:32.000 It was like two years ago, a year and a half ago.

00:33:34.000 Oh, okay.

00:33:35.000 Okay.

00:33:36.000 That's, uh, I thought somebody told me you got like mugged like on the way home.

00:33:40.000 No, that would be worse, right?

00:33:43.000 I guess so.

00:33:46.000 That's crazy.

00:33:47.000 You got drugged.

00:33:48.000 Yeah.

00:33:49.000 Did it where you, did you at least have sex?

00:33:51.000 Yes.

00:33:52.000 So you kind of deserved it.

00:33:54.000 I guess so.

00:33:55.000 So you didn't want to pay up.

00:33:57.000 No, she didn't tell me to give her any money.

00:34:00.000 She took a shit at my toilet.

00:34:02.000 She took a shit at your house.

00:34:03.000 Yeah.

00:34:04.000 Drugged you and then stole your shit.

00:34:06.000 Yeah.

00:34:07.000 And were you ever like, yo, should I call the cops or something or no?

00:34:10.000 They arrested her.

00:34:11.000 She's in the court system now.

00:34:13.000 She's arrested.

00:34:14.000 Yeah.

00:34:15.000 Did you get your shit back?

00:34:16.000 Not yet.

00:34:17.000 What do you mean?

00:34:18.000 Not yet.

00:34:19.000 Like, is it?

00:34:20.000 I haven't got it back.

00:34:21.000 But like somebody has it.

00:34:22.000 I don't know.

00:34:23.000 God damn, bro.

00:34:25.000 Sad.

00:34:26.000 How much was it rolly?

00:34:28.000 I don't want to think about it.

00:34:29.000 I don't want to think about it.

00:34:33.000 It's just, you're, you're not materialistic though.

00:34:37.000 Exactly.

00:34:38.000 If anything, that was like a donation to the homeless.

00:34:43.000 Yeah.

00:34:44.000 I'm involved because I want to be nice to people.

00:34:47.000 It's because you were liberal.

00:34:48.000 I deserve it.

00:34:49.000 Cause I, I'm nice to homeless people.

00:34:51.000 Cause you voted for.

00:34:52.000 Is that how you, was she homeless?

00:34:55.000 No, I don't think so.

00:34:56.000 God damn.

00:34:57.000 Damn.

00:34:58.000 That's scary, dude.

00:34:59.000 I had a, what are you going to do?

00:35:00.000 There's people out there like that.

00:35:02.000 But, um, you know, overall it's a lot more than I made.

00:35:07.000 Did that make you want to move?

00:35:08.000 Like when that happened?

00:35:09.000 Well, it is like a Texas thing, right?

00:35:12.000 Like there's a lot of like poor people here and to have sex and steal all your shit.

00:35:17.000 That's a Texas thing.

00:35:18.000 People drug each other here a lot.

00:35:20.000 I hear a lot.

00:35:21.000 Jesus.

00:35:22.000 Why?

00:35:23.000 Cause they think that it's okay.

00:35:25.000 And like they're okay with a certain level of violence.

00:35:28.000 Yeah.

00:35:29.000 That doesn't happen as much in New York is what you're saying.

00:35:32.000 I just think it's a thing here.

00:35:34.000 A lot of poor people.

00:35:36.000 Okay with violence, you know?

00:35:39.000 Yeah.

00:35:40.000 But no, I think, uh, anywhere you go, you're going to experience robbers and thieves.

00:35:45.000 Yeah, bro.

00:35:47.000 I don't know.

00:35:48.000 I didn't judge Texas based on that incident.

00:35:51.000 That's tough.

00:35:52.000 Okay.

00:35:53.000 We don't have to talk about it anymore, bro.

00:35:56.000 I'm sorry.

00:35:57.000 Well, uh, I mean, it's a, yeah, it sucks.

00:36:00.000 You just want to sit in it.

00:36:01.000 Just sit on how much it sucks.

00:36:03.000 I'm over it.

00:36:04.000 It happened a while ago.

00:36:05.000 It seemed like a different person that was robbed.

00:36:07.000 That's good.

00:36:08.000 You're more careful now.

00:36:11.000 Um, yeah, I guess so.

00:36:13.000 Yeah.

00:36:14.000 No.

00:36:15.000 Yeah.

00:36:16.000 Not at all.

00:36:17.000 Not at all of my life.

00:36:18.000 Just worse.

00:36:19.000 I don't want to let, uh, let some dumb hooker affect my life.

00:36:24.000 That's a funny way.

00:36:26.000 That's a funny sentence.

00:36:28.000 But yeah, it's, that's fucking crazy, dude.

00:36:31.000 I would, um, you never safe.

00:36:34.000 Nothing.

00:36:35.000 I do.

00:36:36.000 She fucking, what'd she like pull your hand?

00:36:38.000 Like pull your hand.

00:36:39.000 I had more money in the safe.

00:36:40.000 I had money outside the safe.

00:36:41.000 Oh, that's pretty baller though.

00:36:43.000 Yeah.

00:36:44.000 God damn.

00:36:45.000 So what's, uh, what's your, what are your thoughts on Austin?

00:36:48.000 You like it here?

00:36:49.000 Um, I think it's, yeah.

00:36:50.000 Um, I think it's, yeah.

00:36:52.000 I mean, like I said, like there's nowhere else to go really.

00:36:58.000 Yeah.

00:36:59.000 Like, unless you want to downgrade your lifestyle to New York.

00:37:01.000 Yeah.

00:37:02.000 The quality of life sucks.

00:37:03.000 Yeah.

00:37:04.000 Like you can go to nice restaurants and shit, but you're living in like a, in a tiny little

00:37:08.000 box.

00:37:09.000 I don't know if I could switch to that now.

00:37:12.000 I think this is the spot.

00:37:13.000 New York is also not as conducive to comedians.

00:37:19.000 They're kind of like a walled garden.

00:37:22.000 It's not like a slippery slope of up and down this.

00:37:25.000 Comedians here are like a, like the upper class or something.

00:37:31.000 Like if you're a comic in Austin, it's kind of like, Oh, comedy.

00:37:34.000 Cause it's like, like people see comics as like helping Austin be a place, like be a

00:37:40.000 cool place.

00:37:41.000 Yeah.

00:37:42.000 Well, I think it's more about just individuals and celebrities that people like, like Tim

00:37:45.000 Dillon, like who cares where he lives?

00:37:47.000 People just like him for sure.

00:37:49.000 But like, even if you're not Tim Dillon, like if you're just like me or like somebody

00:37:52.000 else and this is like, Oh, you moved here for comedy.

00:37:55.000 That's sick.

00:37:56.000 Like, Oh yeah.

00:37:57.000 Fucking comedy is sick.

00:37:58.000 I heard it's really popping here.

00:38:00.000 Like everybody kind of knows it's like a vibe.

00:38:02.000 It's, it's more of a vibe than the tech thing now.

00:38:05.000 I think, I mean, there's more tech.

00:38:07.000 It's like a, it's like a Woodstock festival that just is forever ongoing.

00:38:13.000 Yeah.

00:38:14.000 It's, it's, I think it's the best.

00:38:16.000 I think that mothership is really, really just the way they've designed the club perfectly.

00:38:23.000 And the, you know, the acoustics and the way it's run.

00:38:28.000 I think it's just great.

00:38:29.000 Um, you know, there aren't really, it's kind of like a one of a kind thing.

00:38:33.000 I think, I mean, comedy stores, the most, the closest to, I mean, you know what I mean?

00:38:40.000 I think every city should have it like an upper tier, like heaven.

00:38:44.000 Yeah.

00:38:45.000 And then everyone can work towards it.

00:38:46.000 Yeah.

00:38:47.000 They should open.

00:38:48.000 Maybe.

00:38:49.000 I mean, eventually maybe they will.

00:38:50.000 Maybe they will open multiple ones in different, in different spots.

00:38:54.000 I don't think that that's a bad idea at all.

00:38:56.000 I think.

00:38:57.000 The comedy, comedy mothership, what's great about it is like people there, like Joe Rogan.

00:39:01.000 Yeah.

00:39:02.000 You can't just have like a bunch of, you know, like famous people in every city.

00:39:08.000 No.

00:39:09.000 But I think, uh, it's good.

00:39:10.000 It would probably be different.

00:39:11.000 Like it wouldn't be the exact same, but it would, you know what I mean?

00:39:14.000 Like it would probably be more focused around touring, like comics who are, you know what

00:39:22.000 I'm saying?

00:39:23.000 Would go there from like regulars would go and tour for a week.

00:39:28.000 Yeah.

00:39:29.000 And it would be like, it'd be less people, but it'd be like three of us go with, you know,

00:39:34.000 so like whoever that's killing it and, um, sell it all out.

00:39:39.000 Like it wouldn't run the same.

00:39:40.000 It would, they wouldn't, maybe they'd only have one room kind of thing.

00:39:43.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:44.000 Yeah.

00:39:45.000 Yeah.

00:39:46.000 I think that'd be dope.

00:39:47.000 They wouldn't, they obviously wouldn't have Kill Tony on stuff like that.

00:39:49.000 That's the way comedy clubs should be.

00:39:51.000 What did you think of Kill Tony at Vulcan?

00:39:53.000 It was fun.

00:39:58.000 It was great.

00:39:59.000 Yeah.

00:40:00.000 Were you on both shows?

00:40:02.000 No, just one.

00:40:03.000 The late?

00:40:04.000 Yeah.

00:40:10.000 Yeah.

00:40:11.000 Lingering cough.

00:40:13.000 Damn.

00:40:14.000 Yeah.

00:40:15.000 I mean, I, dude, I wouldn't, if I told 25 year old me like, yo, Austin, but the, and

00:40:28.000 I'd be like, where I wouldn't even know.

00:40:30.000 But then I'd be like, Oh, but like Rogan's there.

00:40:32.000 Tony's there.

00:40:33.000 Like, I'd be like, that's sick.

00:40:34.000 It's like, you know, I think it's, it doesn't really for the type of comedy that I'm doing.

00:40:40.000 Like if you're doing fucking really woke, like experimental hypothetical, you know, all

00:40:48.000 that kind of bullshit.

00:40:49.000 Like, yeah, obviously go to New York where people are going to fucking appreciate it.

00:40:52.000 Nobody's going to appreciate it here.

00:40:54.000 Yeah.

00:40:55.000 I think it's good to have multiple cities.

00:40:57.000 Everyone finds their own lane.

00:40:58.000 Would you want to live in like multiple places?

00:41:00.000 Yeah.

00:41:01.000 Yeah.

00:41:02.000 Tim Dillon here, New York, LA.

00:41:04.000 Yeah.

00:41:05.000 That's pretty much it.

00:41:06.000 There's nowhere else.

00:41:07.000 I like some of the like secondary celebrity class of comedians.

00:41:12.000 Yeah.

00:41:13.000 That's good that it opened up.

00:41:14.000 Like some people are shitting on Austin, you know, like Tim Dillon said Austin is over,

00:41:20.000 but it's like, it's good to have a third city.

00:41:23.000 Yeah.

00:41:24.000 Like the more diversity, the better.

00:41:26.000 Like this brings another group of like comics into the forefront.

00:41:31.000 I mean, if you're, look, if you're fucking touring and making money and you're like our

00:41:37.000 age ish, like early thirties, late twenties, like, yeah, come here.

00:41:41.000 Have a better look.

00:41:42.000 Mid thirties.

00:41:43.000 How old are you?

00:41:44.000 I'm mid thirties.

00:41:45.000 Are you?

00:41:46.000 Yeah.

00:41:47.000 What?

00:41:48.000 35.

00:41:49.000 You're 35.

00:41:50.000 Yeah.

00:41:51.000 Around there.

00:41:52.000 Oh shit.

00:41:53.000 Okay.

00:41:54.000 I'm 33.

00:41:55.000 At this point.

00:41:56.000 I thought, I think mid, I think mid is 34 to 36.

00:41:59.000 Yeah.

00:42:00.000 And late.

00:42:01.000 Like early is 30 to 33.

00:42:03.000 Yeah.

00:42:04.000 And then late is 38 to 40.

00:42:08.000 Huh?

00:42:09.000 10 minutes.

00:42:10.000 You got 10 minutes.

00:42:11.000 You get the late.

00:42:12.000 Um, yeah, you get the light at 40.

00:42:14.000 Um, I think that rigid time structures aren't the best for artistic expressions.

00:42:21.000 Oh, you got 15 minutes.

00:42:27.000 I am as a construct.

00:42:30.000 Do you know how to count in Korean?

00:42:33.000 Yeah.

00:42:34.000 How do you count to 10?

00:42:36.000 I'm just in Korean.

00:42:37.000 Just use Korean words for all the numbers.

00:42:40.000 Can you do it?

00:42:41.000 Yeah.

00:42:42.000 Can you?

00:42:43.000 Do you want me to count in Korean?

00:42:45.000 To 10?

00:42:46.000 What would that, how, what would that, what was the purpose of that?

00:42:49.000 I mean, I just want to hear it.

00:42:51.000 Yeah.

00:42:52.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

00:43:00.000 6, 8, 10.

00:43:02.000 That's pretty sick.

00:43:03.000 6, 10, 8, 6, 10, 7.

00:43:05.000 God damn.

00:43:06.000 That almost sounds like it makes more sense in English.

00:43:09.000 Uh, they have another way of counting.

00:43:10.000 They have two ways of counting and that's better for math.

00:43:13.000 Why?

00:43:14.000 That's the bad one?

00:43:15.000 Because the Chinese, the Chinese translation.

00:43:17.000 Because they had the Korean.

00:43:19.000 Uh, I think just philosophically, like ideologically.

00:43:22.000 Yeah.

00:43:23.000 Have you ever done an ancestry.ca?

00:43:25.000 Do you know for a fact that you're.

00:43:26.000 .ca?

00:43:27.000 Or .com.

00:43:29.000 Canada.

00:43:30.000 That's hilarious.

00:43:31.000 We have .ca.

00:43:32.000 Yeah.

00:43:33.000 Google.ca.

00:43:34.000 Yeah.

00:43:35.000 No.

00:43:36.000 Google.com.

00:43:37.000 I don't think we have .ca.

00:43:38.000 So you do use .com.

00:43:39.000 We have both.

00:43:40.000 Hmm.

00:43:41.000 Yeah.

00:43:42.000 No, I've never done ancestry.ca.

00:43:45.000 Find out you're Canadian.

00:43:47.000 Yeah.

00:43:48.000 You've done ancestry.com.

00:43:49.000 No, I thought that was just for white people.

00:43:52.000 No, I feel like that'd be funny if like all like a bunch of Koreans and like Japanese

00:43:58.000 did that and found out they had like, they were like half Chinese.

00:44:01.000 Didn't even know.

00:44:02.000 Cause then it's like all these years.

00:44:04.000 They're like, they've been calling us Chinese.

00:44:06.000 He's fucking racist.

00:44:07.000 And then they do ancestry.com.

00:44:08.000 And it's like.

00:44:09.000 Well, culturally.

00:44:10.000 Turns out.

00:44:11.000 Turns out you're fucking Chinese.

00:44:13.000 Culturally they hate the Chinese, but genetically they are Chinese.

00:44:17.000 Wild.

00:44:18.000 It happens.

00:44:20.000 Some people are black and they don't even know it.

00:44:23.000 Yeah.

00:44:24.000 Like Somalians.

00:44:25.000 Yeah.

00:44:26.000 Are Somalians black even?

00:44:28.000 Arabs.

00:44:29.000 They're half Arabs.

00:44:30.000 They're almost Indian.

00:44:31.000 Yeah.

00:44:32.000 The further, the further you go that way.

00:44:34.000 It's like a little corner that the Arabs have, but they have like the alien head.

00:44:40.000 Yeah.

00:44:41.000 Yeah.

00:44:42.000 Which is, you'd think they would.

00:44:44.000 Uh, and they have like, have invented a few more.

00:44:47.000 They have thinner skin.

00:44:48.000 I think.

00:44:49.000 Thin skin.

00:44:50.000 Yeah.

00:44:51.000 Smooth, thin skin.

00:44:52.000 Like an Arab.

00:44:53.000 That's all.

00:44:54.000 You sound like a dog.

00:44:55.000 Yeah.

00:44:56.000 Yeah.

00:44:57.000 Yeah.

00:44:58.000 Like petting a Somalian.

00:44:59.000 Yeah.

00:45:00.000 Yeah.

00:45:01.000 They have different skin.

00:45:03.000 You literally sounded like you were trying to auction off a Somalian.

00:45:06.000 I was like, feel the skin.

00:45:09.000 Feel that.

00:45:10.000 This is a Pekingese.

00:45:11.000 Good material.

00:45:12.000 This is a Afghan.

00:45:13.000 Are you, you have cats or something?

00:45:15.000 Yeah.

00:45:16.000 Forgot not to wear black.

00:45:18.000 Shit.

00:45:19.000 Yeah.

00:45:20.000 I got a cat.

00:45:21.000 Is it?

00:45:22.000 Yeah.

00:45:23.000 Roll all over you.

00:45:24.000 No, it's just, uh, the couch and the sofa.

00:45:27.000 It's in the air.

00:45:28.000 Goddamn.

00:45:29.000 Yeah.

00:45:30.000 Yeah.

00:45:31.000 I like cats, but I don't like the shedding thing.

00:45:34.000 I think, um, I like a hairless cat, but apparently they're the most, they're like

00:45:39.000 the most, if you're allergic to cats, they're like the worst.

00:45:41.000 Huh?

00:45:42.000 They just constantly shedding through their pores.

00:45:44.000 Cause it's not like the people think there are people who are allergic or allergic to the

00:45:47.000 hair, but they're actually like allergic to like the skin.

00:45:50.000 Yeah.

00:45:51.000 So it's like the hairless cat gives off more shit that people are allergic.

00:45:56.000 Yeah.

00:45:57.000 Yeah.

00:45:58.000 I didn't know that.

00:45:59.000 Do they even have that?

00:46:00.000 Our fucking, fucking Asians don't even have allergies, bro.

00:46:04.000 I don't know.

00:46:05.000 We're pretty much Jewish people.

00:46:08.000 I've never heard it.

00:46:09.000 Like an Asian person be like, I have a seafood.

00:46:11.000 Like I can't eat seafood.

00:46:12.000 I can't eat this.

00:46:13.000 I can't eat this crab.

00:46:16.000 I think Asians are very sickly people.

00:46:21.000 They're sick all the time.

00:46:23.000 Yeah.

00:46:24.000 COVID.

00:46:25.000 Yeah.

00:46:26.000 But that was, that was, that was their fault.

00:46:30.000 No, but that wasn't, um, they weren't sick.

00:46:33.000 Were there, I guess, but that was all fake.

00:46:35.000 All those videos of people dying and shit.

00:46:37.000 That was, it's just a lot of people squeeze into a small area.

00:46:41.000 That viruses are going to be like, that is a prime target.

00:46:44.000 It's just a, they're so clean.

00:46:46.000 Yeah.

00:46:47.000 We have to be.

00:46:48.000 I mean, there was the video.

00:46:50.000 Did you see the video of the Chinese guy fucking the chicken or whatever?

00:46:53.000 People are like, people are disgusting.

00:46:55.000 So now we're disgusting.

00:46:56.000 Cause that one video, you thought we were clean five seconds ago.

00:47:00.000 Yeah.

00:47:01.000 Somebody told me something weird yesterday that like Asian or like Chinese moms or something

00:47:07.000 like if the kid like does well, they'll like blow their son or something.

00:47:10.000 I don't know.

00:47:11.000 Does well in school.

00:47:12.000 I don't know.

00:47:13.000 Is that just a video online?

00:47:14.000 It's just literally somebody told me that.

00:47:16.000 Somebody told me that to my son.

00:47:18.000 If you do well in school, your mom is going to blow you.

00:47:21.000 Pretty sick.

00:47:22.000 That would be horrific.

00:47:24.000 That'd be crazy, right?

00:47:25.000 It'd be traumatizing.

00:47:26.000 How do you look at your mom the same way if she's blowing you?

00:47:30.000 I mean, you gotta hand her 60 bucks after that.

00:47:34.000 Let's just have it.

00:47:35.000 No, it's, I mean, Asian culture doesn't have a lot of room for like comedy and shit,

00:47:43.000 but like now they do.

00:47:45.000 Cause there's like really successful comics.

00:47:48.000 Like, I mean, in Asia, you, well, you just went to Asia.

00:47:51.000 Yeah.

00:47:52.000 Yeah.

00:47:53.000 Like Jimmy O. Yang.

00:47:54.000 And, um, who's that guy that does the daily show?

00:47:57.000 Mr. Roger.

00:47:58.000 Dr. Roger.

00:47:59.000 Uncle Roger.

00:48:00.000 Uncle Roger.

00:48:01.000 Um, the guy on the daily show.

00:48:05.000 Bobby Lee.

00:48:06.000 Andre Kim.

00:48:09.000 Brian Redband.

00:48:10.000 One of the best Asian comedians.

00:48:11.000 He's Asian at heart.

00:48:13.000 Yeah.

00:48:14.000 I swear.

00:48:15.000 He squint.

00:48:16.000 He squints on purpose.

00:48:17.000 With more Asians.

00:48:20.000 Yeah.

00:48:21.000 It's how long have you been on kill Tony?

00:48:25.000 Like four years now, five years.

00:48:26.000 Yeah.

00:48:27.000 Four years.

00:48:28.000 Fucking sick.

00:48:29.000 Thank you.

00:48:30.000 Did you, did you want that?

00:48:33.000 Like, did you come to us wanting it?

00:48:35.000 Yeah.

00:48:36.000 I love the show.

00:48:37.000 Yeah.

00:48:38.000 I was a huge fan of the show.

00:48:39.000 I thought it was a great idea.

00:48:40.000 I thought it was a great community and, uh, you know, like ecosystem to be in.

00:48:45.000 Yeah.

00:48:46.000 And it, uh, I grew up on it.

00:48:47.000 So I was like, yeah, that'd be great.

00:48:49.000 It's like getting on, uh, fucking Kim Kardashian or something, or like even Steven for me, even

00:48:56.000 Steven.

00:48:57.000 That's just pretty.

00:48:58.000 Yeah.

00:48:59.000 That's a heavy reference.

00:49:00.000 Killed Tony's.

00:49:01.000 Did you see that on Disney.ca or?

00:49:04.000 Yeah.

00:49:05.000 Did you not have Disney channel up there?

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 Well, no, we have all the same stuff.

00:49:09.000 Nice.

00:49:10.000 Um, yeah.

00:49:11.000 No, the .ca thing is, they should have never done that, but every country has that.

00:49:15.000 Yeah.

00:49:16.000 Like KR.

00:49:17.000 Ko.kr.

00:49:18.000 We got to put a ko.kr.

00:49:19.000 What's that?

00:49:20.000 Kazakhstan?

00:49:21.000 No, Korea.

00:49:22.000 Oh, KR.

00:49:23.000 Ko.

00:49:24.000 Ko.

00:49:25.000 Ko.

00:49:26.000 Ko.

00:49:27.000 What's the, what's the Korean store here?

00:49:29.000 H Mart?

00:49:30.000 Here?

00:49:31.000 Yeah.

00:49:32.000 H Mart.

00:49:33.000 What do you go?

00:49:34.000 Do you go there, get live crabs and shit?

00:49:35.000 No.

00:49:36.000 Put them in your fridge?

00:49:37.000 I don't cook.

00:49:38.000 All I do is kimchi.

00:49:39.000 I don't cook.

00:49:40.000 You don't make sushi at all?

00:49:42.000 Yeah.

00:49:43.000 I just go to the river, just pull out a trout, just start eating it like golem.

00:49:47.000 Have you ever made like, like Korean food?

00:49:50.000 Yeah.

00:49:51.000 When I was a kid in college.

00:49:52.000 Your parents forced you to do it.

00:49:53.000 No, I missed it.

00:49:54.000 It's good food.

00:49:55.000 Like, what is it?

00:49:56.000 Just like rice and like.

00:49:58.000 Rice and curry or soup and side dishes.

00:50:05.000 Dude, I love side dishes.

00:50:07.000 Yeah.

00:50:08.000 So I used to go to a restaurant called Korean Village all the time that my dad would always

00:50:11.000 take me to and like the, it's like a family restaurant and then the mom died and then

00:50:15.000 it was just sad and then the sun started running it and COVID happened.

00:50:19.000 But it's really good.

00:50:21.000 They always give me the side dish, like a good, like a sprout, the sprout side dish,

00:50:26.000 like the pickled sprout and fucking all the spicy fucking.

00:50:30.000 The dishes at a Korean place.

00:50:32.000 There's no good Korean fucking food here.

00:50:34.000 I guess they're, I mean.

00:50:35.000 Ask Brian Redman.

00:50:36.000 There's Korean barbecue.

00:50:38.000 He likes to go out.

00:50:39.000 Yeah.

00:50:40.000 I don't like to sit in a restaurant.

00:50:42.000 I'd rather sit at home.

00:50:44.000 Just.

00:50:45.000 I have a family though.

00:50:46.000 So it's like a whole, it's like an activity.

00:50:47.000 Yeah.

00:50:48.000 It might be good to do.

00:50:49.000 Cause then you can actually sit down and not watch the TV.

00:50:51.000 You have to be present.

00:50:52.000 Yeah.

00:50:53.000 So you have to get out of the house just to talk to the people.

00:50:55.000 You don't have dinner and have TV on.

00:50:59.000 It's crazy.

00:51:00.000 Did you have a dining room?

00:51:01.000 Did you grow up with, uh, I do have a dining room.

00:51:04.000 We haven't set it up yet.

00:51:05.000 We just eat at like a, the breakfast nook.

00:51:07.000 Have you noticed that a dining room is not a thing anymore?

00:51:10.000 Like my house, my apartment doesn't even have a dining room.

00:51:13.000 Yeah.

00:51:14.000 Mostly they got rid of it.

00:51:15.000 I want to, I think, um, I, I'm pretty close to buying a dining room table.

00:51:21.000 Um, two more patrons, two more patrons.

00:51:26.000 Amazon wishlist.

00:51:27.000 No, that's crazy.

00:51:28.000 People just buy shit.

00:51:29.000 Yeah.

00:51:30.000 Yeah.

00:51:31.000 Do you have one?

00:51:32.000 No, I should though.

00:51:33.000 Would you?

00:51:34.000 I mean, it seems kind of like I already have money.

00:51:38.000 Like, why am I asking people to give me money?

00:51:41.000 I guess that's what a job is.

00:51:43.000 Get them more.

00:51:44.000 Do you have a Patreon?

00:51:46.000 Yeah.

00:51:47.000 Do, are you making some money on it?

00:51:50.000 Like, come on.

00:51:51.000 I'm making like 10 bucks.

00:51:52.000 10 bucks.

00:51:53.000 Yeah.

00:51:54.000 I think I got two.

00:51:55.000 600 bucks.

00:51:56.000 Let's fucking go.

00:51:57.000 Join.

00:51:58.000 People.

00:51:59.000 People.

00:52:00.000 I have to explain to people like you really have to join.

00:52:03.000 And like, people are like, I don't, I don't know how it's like, shut the fuck up.

00:52:07.000 Pull out your fucking phone right now.

00:52:09.000 But like a lot of people like who aren't on it would be, they just like are kind of late.

00:52:13.000 Like they don't cause dude, how many fucking things like you pay for page.

00:52:18.000 You're paying for somebody's Patreon.

00:52:19.000 It doesn't mean that you have to watch every episode either.

00:52:22.000 Like it's really a low risk, low reward kind of thing.

00:52:27.000 Like for them.

00:52:28.000 Right.

00:52:29.000 Yeah.

00:52:30.000 Five bucks a month.

00:52:31.000 And you can sometimes.

00:52:32.000 High reward.

00:52:33.000 And yeah.

00:52:34.000 I mean, they get to listen to you, you know, talking shit or talking about whatever you

00:52:39.000 want to fucking talk about.

00:52:40.000 Yeah.

00:52:41.000 You could be like, I sponsor that guy.

00:52:43.000 I help that guy live.

00:52:44.000 Yeah.

00:52:45.000 That guy is talking about Mexicans right now.

00:52:47.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:52:48.000 Like you can sponsor a comedian.

00:52:49.000 It's pretty much what it is.

00:52:50.000 It's like the fucking.

00:52:51.000 It's like a patron.

00:52:52.000 It is kind of funny that people give more money to comedians and only fans models, like

00:52:58.000 on a monthly basis, like subscriptions, then you know, like African kids.

00:53:04.000 Like, remember that was a big thing where it's like, Oh, $1 a day.

00:53:07.000 Yeah.

00:53:08.000 For an African kid.

00:53:09.000 And you can write them a letter.

00:53:11.000 Nobody does that anymore.

00:53:12.000 We've totally just gone.

00:53:13.000 Yeah.

00:53:14.000 Fuck them.

00:53:15.000 Like remember foster children.

00:53:17.000 That used to be a thing.

00:53:18.000 Nobody gives a fuck.

00:53:19.000 Now it's like, no, no, I give five bucks to Ben Bankis on Patreon.

00:53:21.000 I'd rather give Ben Bankis five bucks than some kid with flies in his eyes.

00:53:27.000 That's it needs it.

00:53:28.000 Yeah.

00:53:29.000 He doesn't have a dining room table.

00:53:31.000 No, they don't need it.

00:53:32.000 I thought they're homeless.

00:53:33.000 They like it.

00:53:34.000 Yeah.

00:53:35.000 You want five bucks, five bucks a month so you can make enough money to go to Nairobi

00:53:40.000 and work at McDonald's.

00:53:42.000 That would be a fun thing is like go every go to like all the McDonald's in like every

00:53:47.000 country or something like one McDonald's in every country that would take a decade.

00:53:50.000 And then there'd be new ones that pop up that you'd have to go to.

00:53:53.000 It'd be like the line of Chinese people walking in.

00:53:56.000 Did you go when you did you go to American fast food when you're in Asia recently?

00:54:00.000 Maybe.

00:54:01.000 What do you have?

00:54:02.000 I did like McDonald's.

00:54:03.000 I went to McDonald's once in Japan, Korea, Japan.

00:54:07.000 You didn't go to anything.

00:54:08.000 I might have.

00:54:09.000 What's it like in Korea?

00:54:12.000 It's like a little bit more Korean.

00:54:14.000 Is it better?

00:54:16.000 No, I like American better.

00:54:18.000 It was like the bread was a little stiff.

00:54:20.000 It's like it just made like to stand up.

00:54:22.000 Americans are like all sloppy.

00:54:24.000 It's made to eat.

00:54:25.000 It tastes better than it looks.

00:54:27.000 Hmm.

00:54:28.000 Do they?

00:54:29.000 What's the most Korean thing to have?

00:54:31.000 Don't know.

00:54:32.000 You didn't order it.

00:54:34.000 Yeah, it's pretty American.

00:54:35.000 What did you get?

00:54:36.000 Like a burger?

00:54:37.000 Like, you know, like you're just like burger and fries.

00:54:40.000 Yeah.

00:54:41.000 Did you say it's all on the iPad?

00:54:44.000 Oh, there's no.

00:54:45.000 There's no people.

00:54:46.000 Yeah, that's all it is in Asia.

00:54:47.000 There's no waiters.

00:54:48.000 That's fucked up.

00:54:49.000 It's so much money that we're saving.

00:54:51.000 Or do they have homeless?

00:54:52.000 Not as many.

00:54:53.000 I saw a couple.

00:54:55.000 So what are they?

00:54:56.000 How is if there's everything's automated?

00:54:59.000 What are people even doing for a living?

00:55:01.000 I don't know.

00:55:02.000 The other things like all the other jobs just have more people now.

00:55:07.000 There's more janitors and bus drivers.

00:55:12.000 Aren't the buses fucking automated?

00:55:14.000 Not yet.

00:55:15.000 Do you see robots there?

00:55:16.000 They have a lot of robots.

00:55:17.000 There was like a cleaning robot for the restaurant or you just put your trays in it.

00:55:21.000 But they didn't have any humanoid bots.

00:55:24.000 No.

00:55:25.000 I'm waiting for that.

00:55:26.000 I want the human.

00:55:27.000 Yeah.

00:55:28.000 I would have a Tesla robot 100%.

00:55:31.000 Walk my guest to the door, Optimus.

00:55:34.000 Just walks you to the door.

00:55:36.000 That'd be dope.

00:55:37.000 How fucking sick would that be?

00:55:38.000 Would it be like a self-defense robot too?

00:55:41.000 Like the Terminator?

00:55:42.000 Dude, I'm so terrible.

00:55:43.000 I mean, the second that we all have robots in our house, like we're so screwed kind of.

00:55:49.000 Like we're so like at risk of everything getting weird.

00:55:54.000 You think we're going to fuck them?

00:55:58.000 No doubt we're going to fuck them.

00:55:59.000 Probably women will be the first to fuck them.

00:56:02.000 Why?

00:56:03.000 Like the Optimus ones.

00:56:04.000 They can't resist.

00:56:05.000 Because there's no hole, but they have like fingers.

00:56:07.000 So they could probably like finger bang.

00:56:09.000 And it's like safe.

00:56:10.000 Like they keep it all pent up because if you like show any interest in a man, they're going

00:56:14.000 to try to rape you.

00:56:15.000 So they're like, oh, I just wish I could be safe around a man who's not going to like

00:56:19.000 try to like, you know, marry me.

00:56:21.000 There might be a bit of robot rape, which I'm not.

00:56:24.000 Women would be the first to rub themselves on a robot.

00:56:28.000 That's what I think.

00:56:29.000 Yeah, I think that they were just so horny.

00:56:31.000 Well, the Optimus, like imagine being in a house and you're a woman and you're alone

00:56:35.000 and you have Optimus.

00:56:36.000 There's Iron Man right there.

00:56:37.000 Yeah.

00:56:38.000 I was like, can you just put your finger out like that?

00:56:41.000 And I'm going to.

00:56:43.000 I don't know.

00:56:44.000 Why would it say no?

00:56:45.000 I'd be curious.

00:56:46.000 Erase memory.

00:56:48.000 Fuck.

00:56:49.000 Clean your mouth hole.

00:56:52.000 I think it's a victimless crime.

00:56:55.000 Asians love robots so much.

00:56:58.000 Yeah.

00:56:59.000 We're not afraid of them.

00:57:00.000 Yeah.

00:57:01.000 Why are white people afraid of them?

00:57:02.000 Because we made movies about them being evil.

00:57:04.000 Because of a guilty conscience or like they are afraid of like people that they owned

00:57:10.000 uprising against them.

00:57:11.000 Like Asians are fucked right now.

00:57:13.000 Anyways, like even if the robots destroy them, it's like, oh, Americans, we're going

00:57:16.000 to do it anyways.

00:57:17.000 Like it's the there's we already have like one higher than us.

00:57:20.000 You guys are at the top.

00:57:21.000 There's no one higher.

00:57:22.000 You think Americans are trying to destroy Asia?

00:57:27.000 I don't think they're trying.

00:57:28.000 I think it's a side effect of what they if they get what they want.

00:57:32.000 I think it's just like it's just that they're in the way.

00:57:35.000 They'll use them.

00:57:36.000 Like what country is being destroyed though?

00:57:38.000 Korea?

00:57:39.000 I'm not saying.

00:57:40.000 Oh, like I'm just talking about like America can like it's the uneasy feeling of like

00:57:46.000 knowing that there's like a kid above your antel.

00:57:49.000 Yeah.

00:57:50.000 Yeah.

00:57:51.000 But yeah, it's just like I think that we don't have like the fear like we're already, you

00:57:56.000 know, as low as we're going to go.

00:57:58.000 We're not going to go lower than the Africans.

00:58:00.000 I feel like Asians are way higher up.

00:58:04.000 Definitely.

00:58:06.000 I mean, like nobody like no offense to no offense.

00:58:12.000 It's just economic.

00:58:13.000 No, but I just mean like if you go to a neighborhood and it's all Asian people like as a white person

00:58:18.000 like you don't like you don't like it, but you're not afraid.

00:58:20.000 You know what I mean?

00:58:21.000 You're like a lot of Asians, but you're not like.

00:58:25.000 Oh, yeah, I mean you're like I'm still I'll still go into a store.

00:58:28.000 They respect laws.

00:58:29.000 You can sue that.

00:58:31.000 They don't like getting sued.

00:58:33.000 I feel like Filipinos get when they get a little more dangerous.

00:58:36.000 Yeah, and Vietnamese and shit.

00:58:38.000 Yeah, there are more Mexican, but like Korean like if you go like in Canada, there's a in

00:58:44.000 Toronto Shepard and the fuck is it young and Shepard young and whatever.

00:58:49.000 There's like a whole strip, which is basically like there's like two Korea towns, but this

00:58:54.000 like the bigger one and everybody's great like everybody.

00:58:57.000 They have Korean banks.

00:58:58.000 They have fucking and it's just like it's sick.

00:59:01.000 It's sick like you people go there to be like let's go there for food.

00:59:05.000 Yeah, it's like the Korean food so fucking good there.

00:59:07.000 It's cool.

00:59:08.000 You know what I mean, but like you know, no one goes to Compton.

00:59:11.000 Nobody's like oh, let's go to that jerk chicken spot at midnight.

00:59:15.000 That's like a daytime or like an Uber Eats.

00:59:17.000 I think we're the Asians you can pick on them and they'll be oh, what's going on?

00:59:21.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:59:22.000 Oh, you know, but I think they're scary Filipinos like they they have a limit.

00:59:28.000 Like it doesn't matter how what their status hierarchy at some point.

00:59:31.000 They're just a human being.

00:59:32.000 They just act blacker.

00:59:34.000 Yeah, they're more in the moment.

00:59:35.000 They're more like they're not covered.

00:59:37.000 What'd you say about my fucking Filipino motherfucker?

00:59:39.000 Yeah, like Korean guy would be like, yeah, whatever.

00:59:43.000 Yeah.

00:59:44.000 Ha ha.

00:59:45.000 Fuck you legally.

00:59:46.000 You can't like Filipinos and like fucking they're like dogs.

00:59:51.000 They're like dogs.

00:59:54.000 I mean, I didn't say that the liberal said that the Asian hierarchy is very rigid.

01:00:02.000 The white Asians, you know, we're not connected to our natural being.

01:00:05.000 Our dicks are small.

01:00:06.000 We're more in our heads.

01:00:07.000 So Filipinos have bigger dicks.

01:00:09.000 Phillip.

01:00:10.000 I don't know.

01:00:11.000 Depends.

01:00:12.000 I don't know.

01:00:13.000 I have no idea.

01:00:14.000 Depends on.

01:00:15.000 Depends on how jungle.

01:00:18.000 It would be cool to see which group of Asians has the biggest dicks.

01:00:22.000 Who are the blacks of the Asians?

01:00:24.000 Yeah.

01:00:25.000 Probably.

01:00:26.000 Probably the jungle.

01:00:27.000 Indonesian.

01:00:28.000 Whoever was civilized the latest.

01:00:31.000 Uh.

01:00:32.000 Because once you start living in cities, your dicks get smaller.

01:00:35.000 Chinese.

01:00:38.000 Chinese is probably one of those up there.

01:00:41.000 But like, honestly, their dicks obviously work very well because they have like a shit ton of people.

01:00:46.000 Yeah.

01:00:47.000 I mean, it's like a organization thing.

01:00:50.000 It's like everyone pair up and do what you're told.

01:00:52.000 I've seen Asian porn.

01:00:53.000 Like the dicks aren't really that.

01:00:55.000 Sometimes I want.

01:00:56.000 They used to be.

01:00:57.000 I think they got bigger.

01:00:58.000 Yeah.

01:00:59.000 They got bigger.

01:01:00.000 I want them to be smaller though.

01:01:01.000 Like I kind of like a, I kind of like a small dick in the, I don't like when she's

01:01:04.000 got a, when it's abnormally small.

01:01:06.000 It's like concerning.

01:01:07.000 I feel bad for the guy.

01:01:08.000 I don't want to feel guilty and like, you know, feel empathy.

01:01:11.000 No, you don't want it to be really small, but you want it to be like your size or like

01:01:16.000 slightly smaller.

01:01:17.000 Yeah.

01:01:18.000 But you don't want it to be like a fucking, like a micro penis, like a little clip.

01:01:21.000 Yeah.

01:01:22.000 That's distracting.

01:01:23.000 That's just that.

01:01:24.000 At that point.

01:01:25.000 I can't jerk off.

01:01:26.000 Then you want to share the video.

01:01:27.000 That's not me.

01:01:28.000 I can't relate to that.

01:01:29.000 I'm like, I want to send this to my boys.

01:01:30.000 No, I just.

01:01:31.000 Yeah.

01:01:32.000 Send porn to your friends.

01:01:33.000 No, but if, I mean, if it was funny enough, I bite.

01:01:35.000 Do you want to start?

01:01:36.000 We could just be like, what are you jerking?

01:01:39.000 I'm on the road.

01:01:41.000 Yeah.

01:01:42.000 I'll send you some vids.

01:01:44.000 I think the porn industry was created by Jewish people to subvert, subvert the country,

01:01:53.000 destroy families.

01:01:55.000 I mean, so many videos of like women on the street saying the craziest shit.

01:02:00.000 Like I, it's scary to like, I feel bad for like guys who are single and like are like,

01:02:04.000 I'm looking, I want a family.

01:02:06.000 Cause it's like, you're fucked.

01:02:08.000 There's like every woman on the streets.

01:02:10.000 Like, yeah.

01:02:11.000 Like, I think I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, it's just crazy.

01:02:16.000 You know what I'm talking about?

01:02:17.000 Like, yeah.

01:02:18.000 It was just like the college.

01:02:19.000 What's the worst thing you've ever done?

01:02:20.000 It's like, I fucking had a fucking train right on me like eight times.

01:02:24.000 And then my mom blew them or something.

01:02:25.000 Great.

01:02:26.000 Like shit like that.

01:02:27.000 And you're like, whoa.

01:02:28.000 Yeah, that's.

01:02:29.000 That's bad.

01:02:30.000 That's not.

01:02:31.000 I don't know.

01:02:32.000 That's porn.

01:02:33.000 Or is that maybe I think it's partly it is.

01:02:37.000 Is that just.

01:02:38.000 But when I was like, when we were kids, like it was only the guys who watch porn, but I

01:02:43.000 feel like the girls are like into it now.

01:02:48.000 So now they're all fucking crazy.

01:02:50.000 Yeah.

01:02:51.000 It's this feedback loop.

01:02:53.000 Men are.

01:02:54.000 And if both of them are watching, it just goes, you put it crazy in her.

01:02:58.000 She puts crazy in you.

01:02:59.000 Just gets crazy.

01:03:00.000 It's like a tornado.

01:03:01.000 It's not.

01:03:02.000 Like, I feel like porn.

01:03:04.000 It's like anything.

01:03:05.000 It's like, you know, in moderate, like, you know, once in a while you fucking or you're

01:03:09.000 on the road or something, you know, but like watching it every day is definitely not

01:03:14.000 good.

01:03:15.000 Like we can all agree.

01:03:16.000 We all know that.

01:03:17.000 Right.

01:03:18.000 You do it.

01:03:19.000 I guess so.

01:03:20.000 You do it anyway.

01:03:21.000 I do it.

01:03:22.000 Sometimes it's better than getting robbed.

01:03:26.000 I feel like that.

01:03:27.000 Rubbed by a robot.

01:03:28.000 Oh, robbed.

01:03:29.000 Yeah.

01:03:30.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:03:31.000 They should have that experience on the VR porn.

01:03:35.000 Just getting robbed.

01:03:36.000 Some people are into that.

01:03:37.000 Do you have VR?

01:03:38.000 Fin Dom.

01:03:39.000 Do you have VR at home?

01:03:40.000 Yeah.

01:03:41.000 Is it legit?

01:03:42.000 You use it a lot?

01:03:43.000 Yeah.

01:03:44.000 No, I don't use it a lot.

01:03:45.000 Why?

01:03:46.000 It's just a lot.

01:03:49.000 I can just do everything on my computer.

01:03:52.000 What VR do you have?

01:03:54.000 Like the Apple one?

01:03:55.000 Oculus.

01:03:56.000 So you can do what?

01:03:57.000 Like it's like a computer.

01:03:59.000 Yeah, I can do Beat Saber.

01:04:01.000 I can do poker.

01:04:03.000 I can watch porn.

01:04:06.000 What?

01:04:07.000 That's not even that fun.

01:04:08.000 Yeah.

01:04:09.000 You don't use it.

01:04:10.000 No, I never fuck dude.

01:04:11.000 I like I had a PS through five.

01:04:13.000 I gave it away to my buddy.

01:04:15.000 Cause like, I just didn't like, I don't like, what do you like?

01:04:19.000 Well, you know, Tony always asked, what do you do for fun?

01:04:21.000 He's like, dude, I don't know.

01:04:22.000 What do you like?

01:04:23.000 What do you do?

01:04:24.000 You do do.

01:04:25.000 You have some hobbies though.

01:04:26.000 You fly like drones.

01:04:28.000 Starcraft to Catan.

01:04:34.000 Yeah, that's pretty much it.

01:04:35.000 I used to like Civ.

01:04:36.000 Civilization.

01:04:37.000 Paddle boarding.

01:04:38.000 You're like Civ?

01:04:39.000 No.

01:04:40.000 Civ six.

01:04:41.000 It's okay.

01:04:42.000 I got bored of it.

01:04:43.000 I like city building games.

01:04:45.000 Actually.

01:04:46.000 I was pretty into those for a bit.

01:04:48.000 Like making a good city or like attacking other cities.

01:04:51.000 Like making, like build a city, like build the highway and all that shit.

01:04:55.000 I used to do that.

01:04:56.000 But talking about it makes me want to do it.

01:04:59.000 Also, I, I actually enjoy flying like the virtual flight.

01:05:03.000 Like Microsoft flight simulator.

01:05:04.000 Yeah.

01:05:05.000 Like if I had a million bucks, I would definitely have like a whole room of just like the fucking.

01:05:12.000 Like Nathan Fielder.

01:05:13.000 Does he have one?

01:05:14.000 Uh, he's really into flying.

01:05:16.000 He like did the V, like the virtual assistant flying program.

01:05:20.000 And now he's like a pilot.

01:05:21.000 Wow.

01:05:22.000 Yeah.

01:05:23.000 I saw him in the cockpit.

01:05:24.000 So that's real.

01:05:25.000 Yeah.

01:05:26.000 It's a valuable skill.

01:05:27.000 That's crazy.

01:05:28.000 Yeah, it is.

01:05:29.000 He used HBO to pay for his flight sim training.

01:05:31.000 Mm hmm.

01:05:32.000 And now it's like, he's like one of the guys with like the most hours on that simulator

01:05:37.000 now.

01:05:38.000 Just cause he did it for a joke.

01:05:40.000 That's insane.

01:05:41.000 So just to be that funny, he like went that hard.

01:05:44.000 Yeah.

01:05:45.000 And like fully got his pilot's license.

01:05:46.000 Yeah.

01:05:47.000 Now he's like flying commercial airlines.

01:05:48.000 Yeah.

01:05:49.000 Giant 747s.

01:05:50.000 That's fucking insane.

01:05:51.000 Yeah.

01:05:52.000 But that's why, uh, he's Canadian.

01:05:55.000 He's from Toronto, I think.

01:05:56.000 Yeah.

01:05:57.000 He's Canadian.

01:05:58.000 For sure.

01:05:59.000 Good for him.

01:06:00.000 Yeah.

01:06:01.000 I'm sure he'd love my comedy.

01:06:02.000 Uh, I'm sure he would like, no, he, he would find the joy in some parts of it.

01:06:07.000 I've never met him.

01:06:08.000 Is he completely the same as his, he is on the show?

01:06:11.000 I don't know.

01:06:12.000 Have you met him?

01:06:13.000 No.

01:06:14.000 Oh.

01:06:15.000 You kind of made it seem like you knew him a bit.

01:06:16.000 No, I met like on the show.

01:06:17.000 He's doing a season on flying right now.

01:06:20.000 So everyone's talking about how Nathan Fielder is a pilot.

01:06:23.000 It's a common thing.

01:06:24.000 I'm surprised he's never been on Kill Tony.

01:06:25.000 He'd be a good Kill Tony guy.

01:06:27.000 He's not really a standup guy.

01:06:29.000 Isn't he?

01:06:30.000 I thought he was.

01:06:31.000 He was.

01:06:32.000 He started with standup.

01:06:33.000 Yeah.

01:06:34.000 But maybe he stopped doing it.

01:06:35.000 Yeah.

01:06:36.000 I guess he made a lot of money off his show, but are you, uh, what do you got coming up?

01:06:41.000 Do you want to play?

01:06:42.000 I have a birthday party tomorrow.

01:06:44.000 I want to plug my birthday party.

01:06:45.000 Thank you.

01:06:46.000 Did I invite you?

01:06:47.000 You did.

01:06:48.000 Yeah.

01:06:49.000 Feel free to come.

01:06:50.000 It's at 3 PM.

01:06:52.000 Is the pool party.

01:06:53.000 And then the real parties at 9 PM.

01:06:55.000 Where's what's the pool situation?

01:06:57.000 It's my apartment pool.

01:06:59.000 I'm a big pool guy.

01:07:01.000 We're thinking about changing the name of the show to pool jacked.

01:07:04.000 Actually.

01:07:05.000 Who's we, um, me and, um, my one friend and I guess my graphic designer.

01:07:12.000 Is he on the podcast ever?

01:07:14.000 Yeah.

01:07:15.000 He's on the last episode.

01:07:16.000 Oh, so it's just like a soul.

01:07:18.000 He's like a common guest.

01:07:19.000 We're current guests.

01:07:20.000 He might be a common guest.

01:07:21.000 He might be a cohost.

01:07:22.000 Uh, I would just have to have them live here.

01:07:26.000 He doesn't live here right now, but yeah.

01:07:29.000 But he's a part of this project spiritually.

01:07:32.000 Yeah.

01:07:33.000 Pretty much.

01:07:34.000 Yeah.

01:07:35.000 That's cool.

01:07:36.000 He's in the room.

01:07:37.000 Yeah.

01:07:38.000 I was wondering where he was.

01:07:39.000 There's a, there's multiple people involved.

01:07:40.000 So what's the pool?

01:07:41.000 Is it a shared pool?

01:07:42.000 Yeah.

01:07:43.000 It's the apartment pool.

01:07:44.000 Oh yeah.

01:07:45.000 It's like a high up.

01:07:46.000 Yeah.

01:07:47.000 It's like on the eighth floor.

01:07:48.000 That's pretty sick.

01:07:49.000 Yeah.

01:07:50.000 Come through.

01:07:51.000 Yeah.

01:07:52.000 Should I bring my family?

01:07:53.000 Yeah.

01:07:54.000 It's a apartment pool.

01:07:55.000 So the pool.

01:07:56.000 Yeah.

01:07:57.000 Just kind of fun.

01:07:58.000 Floaties.

01:07:59.000 Yeah.

01:08:00.000 Do you send the flip over?

01:08:01.000 We got so many fucking floaties, but are you going to have a lot of people there?

01:08:04.000 I hope so.

01:08:05.000 It really depends on who shows up.

01:08:07.000 Is it?

01:08:08.000 Well, how'd you send the invite?

01:08:10.000 Just individual?

01:08:11.000 Yeah.

01:08:12.000 Individually.

01:08:13.000 Just like I sent it to you.

01:08:15.000 Who's said no so far?

01:08:17.000 Jesse Burlingam and David Jolly.

01:08:21.000 Jesse is a, he's a local guy.

01:08:23.000 Local guy.

01:08:24.000 David Jolly said no.

01:08:25.000 Yeah.

01:08:26.000 He's just straight up.

01:08:27.000 Yeah.

01:08:28.000 Oh, he's on the road.

01:08:29.000 That's pretty sick.

01:08:30.000 Is Tony going to go?

01:08:32.000 I don't know.

01:08:33.000 Did you ask him?

01:08:34.000 On the show.

01:08:35.000 And he said no.

01:08:39.000 Fuck.

01:08:40.000 Red band?

01:08:41.000 No.

01:08:42.000 I asked him.

01:08:43.000 He didn't say yes.

01:08:45.000 He lives close to you.

01:08:46.000 I thought he has an apartment that he sometimes goes to.

01:08:50.000 True.

01:08:51.000 True.

01:08:52.000 But he likes being in the suburbs.

01:08:54.000 Yeah.

01:08:55.000 Do you like it in the burbs?

01:08:56.000 I do.

01:08:57.000 I mean, if I, I would, I wouldn't mind a fucking multiple.

01:09:00.000 I would, I'd love, I mean, that's what we're all, you know, people want to have multiple

01:09:05.000 fucking houses.

01:09:06.000 It's pretty nice.

01:09:07.000 Like, you know, I'm not going to argue with that.

01:09:09.000 Uh, what, why do you have two hours?

01:09:11.000 Why do you have three hours?

01:09:12.000 Yeah.

01:09:13.000 I mean, that must be nice.

01:09:15.000 If you can afford it.

01:09:16.000 Yeah.

01:09:17.000 It might be cheaper than a hotel.

01:09:19.000 I mean, how fucking far in the suburbs that you can't just drive home, but yeah, I don't

01:09:24.000 know.

01:09:25.000 There's a lot of suburbs around Austin.

01:09:27.000 Yeah.

01:09:28.000 It's mostly suburbs.

01:09:29.000 Yeah.

01:09:30.000 Which is nice.

01:09:31.000 It feels like a, what American city should be.

01:09:33.000 You know?

01:09:34.000 Yeah.

01:09:35.000 It is.

01:09:36.000 How American cities are.

01:09:37.000 A lot of whites.

01:09:38.000 Just every white person on the outside surrounding the blacks.

01:09:41.000 The blacks ready to pounce.

01:09:42.000 Yeah.

01:09:43.000 The blacks like to keep them down.

01:09:48.000 They really got gentrified out of the East though.

01:09:53.000 Yeah.

01:09:54.000 Sorry.

01:09:55.000 Yeah.

01:09:56.000 We made it better.

01:09:57.000 They used to have a comedy scene here too.

01:09:59.000 Yeah.

01:10:00.000 No.

01:10:01.000 Do we make it better?

01:10:02.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:10:04.000 Yeah.

01:10:05.000 But they're not happy about it.

01:10:06.000 It's like, Oh, what I have to do.

01:10:07.000 They have to try now.

01:10:09.000 I like not trying for 10 years.

01:10:11.000 Yeah.

01:10:12.000 I mean, I think it's good to have people that live in a place for a while.

01:10:15.000 Cause it does something interesting.

01:10:17.000 You know, when everyone has been there for a while, just makes it kind of cool.

01:10:21.000 It's even more interesting when you go, how long you been here?

01:10:23.000 Your whole life?

01:10:24.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:10:25.000 You're all gone.

01:10:26.000 Is that interesting or just fun?

01:10:28.000 It's fun.

01:10:29.000 It's not interesting.

01:10:30.000 What's the cruelest thing policy that you're okay with?

01:10:35.000 In favor of?

01:10:36.000 Yeah.

01:10:37.000 I mean, concentration camps.

01:10:40.000 Like Japanese.

01:10:41.000 For the homeless.

01:10:42.000 Oh yeah.

01:10:43.000 Like.

01:10:44.000 No, I mean, I wouldn't be, I don't know what I'm okay with.

01:10:48.000 I'm okay with abortion.

01:10:51.000 You're okay with abortion?

01:10:53.000 Yeah.

01:10:54.000 Being banned.

01:10:55.000 Oh, being banned.

01:10:56.000 No, I'm not.

01:10:57.000 I don't know.

01:10:58.000 I don't know what I'm okay with, dude.

01:10:59.000 I just think that like people who aren't doing like actual, like, like, I think the drug,

01:11:05.000 I think the drug laws are stupid, but.

01:11:07.000 I think it's okay to discriminate in your business.

01:11:10.000 I think that's already legal.

01:11:12.000 Like if you don't want to serve like gay people.

01:11:14.000 Yeah.

01:11:15.000 They already have that.

01:11:16.000 Yeah.

01:11:17.000 That's allowed.

01:11:18.000 It's like everywhere.

01:11:19.000 But you should also be aware that people can get online and say that.

01:11:22.000 So I went to an optic optometrist today in a very gay area of Austin and everyone is

01:11:28.000 gay.

01:11:29.000 They treated me very well.

01:11:30.000 I kind of like in that moment.

01:11:31.000 I was like, I like this.

01:11:32.000 I like the gays.

01:11:33.000 I like the lesbian.

01:11:34.000 I like lesbians.

01:11:35.000 I think more than gays.

01:11:36.000 You know, they let each other more than straight couples.

01:11:39.000 Yeah.

01:11:40.000 They also like, I feel like this.

01:11:42.000 They want to get along with dudes who are just bros.

01:11:44.000 Yeah.

01:11:45.000 Like lesbian.

01:11:46.000 It's important to them to be one of the guys.

01:11:49.000 Yeah.

01:11:50.000 Like, what's up, man?

01:11:51.000 A lot of lesbians are like really in a bad mood all the time.

01:11:55.000 Like their hormones aren't right.

01:11:57.000 So they're always.

01:11:58.000 Yeah.

01:11:59.000 They never have like, they can never get too happy.

01:12:01.000 Like I was so kind to the lesbian woman at the optometrist, like the assistant or whatever.

01:12:06.000 And like, I was like, thank you so much.

01:12:08.000 And like, you know, you're welcome.

01:12:10.000 You're, you're welcome.

01:12:11.000 Like, it's like, that's their max.

01:12:12.000 They always sound like that.

01:12:13.000 Yeah.

01:12:14.000 It's like, why can't you just be like, you're welcome.

01:12:16.000 I have.

01:12:17.000 Yeah.

01:12:18.000 Grab.

01:12:19.000 You're welcome.

01:12:20.000 Not even that.

01:12:21.000 That was like the gay guy.

01:12:22.000 The gay guy wouldn't even look at me in the eye.

01:12:24.000 He was like, why would a straight man come to the fucking optometrist?

01:12:28.000 But it was a really good optometrist.

01:12:30.000 Sometimes the gay or is, or is it just a woman?

01:12:34.000 No, it was a woman.

01:12:35.000 Then it was like a straight woman who was the actual optometrist.

01:12:37.000 Maybe she's an ally.

01:12:38.000 She was Asian.

01:12:40.000 Was she like a fresh off the boat or a good English?

01:12:44.000 She was like one or two.

01:12:46.000 You know how they got one, two.

01:12:49.000 Yeah.

01:12:50.000 You didn't like that one?

01:12:51.000 That was great.

01:12:52.000 No.

01:12:53.000 But it is.

01:12:54.000 Yeah.

01:12:55.000 One or two.

01:12:56.000 What's your, what's your prescription?

01:12:59.000 Two.

01:13:00.000 No.

01:13:01.000 What's your, what's your negative 1.5.

01:13:05.000 Oh, it's not bad at all.

01:13:07.000 Thank you.

01:13:08.000 Damn.

01:13:09.000 It's getting worse.

01:13:10.000 Mine just got better.

01:13:12.000 Wow.

01:13:13.000 Or they just like did a minor adjustment so they could just charge me.

01:13:16.000 Cause otherwise it's like, bro, why I have the same prescription.

01:13:19.000 Why the fuck do I have to do this every two years?

01:13:21.000 Otherwise they won't like let you order glasses if you haven't done.

01:13:24.000 Yeah.

01:13:25.000 And I examined like two years or whatever.

01:13:26.000 But there's some websites where you can do that.

01:13:28.000 Yeah.

01:13:29.000 Yeah.

01:13:30.000 There was one.

01:13:31.000 Is any?

01:13:32.000 Yeah.

01:13:33.000 That's what I used.

01:13:34.000 Anything else?

01:13:35.000 Any dates?

01:13:38.000 It's all topsy-turvy right now.

01:13:40.000 So just check the calendar.

01:13:41.000 Hans Kim.

01:13:42.000 Hans Kim.

01:13:43.000 .org.

01:13:44.000 DJ Hans Kim.

01:13:45.000 .ca.

01:13:46.000 Hans Kim.

01:13:47.000 .ca.

01:13:48.000 Yeah.

01:13:49.000 Yeah.

01:13:50.000 I have a link to ancestry.ca on there.

01:13:52.000 Yeah.

01:13:53.000 Just check me out online.

01:13:54.000 Showing me you're 40% Chinese.

01:13:56.000 Ethically Chinese.

01:13:58.000 Mostly Chinese.

01:14:00.000 That's awesome.

01:14:01.000 Wish I knew any Chinese.

01:14:03.000 Thank you for coming here.

01:14:04.000 Thanks for having me.

01:14:06.000 It's really far.

01:14:07.000 Glad we got to shoot this shit.

01:14:08.000 How long did it take you to get here?

01:14:10.000 22 minutes.

01:14:11.000 Let's go.

01:14:12.000 All right, bro.

01:14:13.000 Happy birthday.

01:14:14.000 We're going to see you and check out Hans at Hans Kim.

01:14:17.000 What is your Instagram?

01:14:19.000 At the real Hans Kim.

01:14:20.000 .org.

01:14:21.000 .org.

01:14:22.000 Hans Kim.

01:14:23.000 .org.

01:14:24.000 If you look hard enough, you'll find it.

01:14:26.000 He's like an NGO.

01:14:28.000 Yeah.

01:14:29.000 Help the homeless.

01:14:31.000 .org.

01:14:32.000 Nonprofit.

01:14:33.000 Help the homeless.

01:14:34.000 Also be rude to their face.

01:14:35.000 .org.

01:14:36.000 I'm a nonprofit.

01:14:37.000 I give all my money to hookers.

01:14:39.000 Yeah.

01:14:40.000 Accidentally.

01:14:41.000 Not on purpose.

01:14:43.000 Thank you guys.

01:14:44.000 Good night.

Bankas Podcast - June 03, 2025

Hans Kim ｜ Bankas Podcast - #096

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