Bankas Podcast - Mycal Latravious Dédé ｜ Bankas Podcast - #099

00:00:00.000 Sick. 0.99

00:00:01.160 Hell, yeah. 0.99

00:00:02.820 You play sports?

00:00:04.940 Yeah, I play sports. 0.94

00:00:06.260 I was only good at the gay ones. 1.00

00:00:10.220 What's tennis? 0.82

00:00:11.280 No.

00:00:12.080 Badminton?

00:00:12.680 Even gayer than that.

00:00:14.240 Pickleball?

00:00:15.040 I'm a two-time Division I national champion in college.

00:00:20.580 Cheerleading.

00:00:21.440 No.

00:00:22.920 Dude, all this makes so much more sense now.

00:00:25.560 Yeah.

00:00:26.800 Cheerleading, baby.

00:00:28.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:00:28.840 Okay, so you're the guy who would look at the pussy, holding her up. 1.00

00:00:33.520 Mm-hmm. 1.00

00:00:34.720 That's like, yeah.

00:00:37.380 Loved it. 1.00

00:00:38.060 That's like everybody thinks those guys are gay, but they're actually just perverts. 1.00

00:00:41.340 Yeah, they're just aggressively horny. 1.00

00:00:43.380 Yeah.

00:00:44.720 You're like, still running again. 0.97

00:00:47.560 Now that I think about it, I don't think I cheered with a single guy who wasn't also a sex pest a little bit. 0.97

00:00:52.920 Yeah?

00:00:53.240 But they were always.

00:00:54.280 Well, yeah.

00:00:55.440 Yeah.

00:00:55.720 I mean, they're cheerleading for the exercise.

00:00:59.300 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:00.000 I mean, what the fuck is that? 0.99

00:01:02.180 I can't believe this, though. 1.00

00:01:03.680 That's crazy.

00:01:04.100 Yeah.

00:01:04.260 It's crazy that you asked me if I played sports, but you were a cheerleader.

00:01:09.260 Yeah.

00:01:09.380 But you had a scholarship, it sounds like.

00:01:12.360 I'd have a scholarship.

00:01:13.080 But it was still good.

00:01:13.920 It was still fun.

00:01:14.600 They took it very seriously.

00:01:16.260 But that's not a sport.

00:01:17.960 Yeah.

00:01:19.380 That's a thing.

00:01:19.900 That's like being like, yeah, I love sports, background dancer for P. Diddy.

00:01:26.080 That's like, it's not a sport.

00:01:28.440 I'll never get mad at people when they're like, oh, cheerleading's not a sport.

00:01:32.420 I'm like, it's an activity.

00:01:33.840 All right?

00:01:34.020 It's a very aggressive event.

00:01:35.080 There are sport elements to it.

00:01:36.680 You have to flip.

00:01:37.460 You do have to hold people.

00:01:38.860 Sure.

00:01:39.280 Yeah.

00:01:39.460 No, it's athletic.

00:01:40.440 It's athletic.

00:01:41.040 There are competitions.

00:01:42.420 Yeah.

00:01:42.640 That's what we did, the competitions.

00:01:43.920 You would go to competitions as a kid?

00:01:46.240 No, in college.

00:01:47.880 So you just randomly started doing it in college?

00:01:49.940 Well, I did gymnastics. 0.99

00:01:52.180 And then when I went to college, I was like bored as shit. 1.00

00:01:55.900 I went to a small shit college called Stephen F. Austin. 0.99

00:02:00.100 And I was like, I got to do something. 0.99

00:02:01.900 So I joined the cheerleading team.

00:02:03.380 And then, yeah.

00:02:04.540 Your parents really didn't want you to be very masculine.

00:02:08.380 I don't think so.

00:02:09.820 Dude, I always joke about this, but I feel like.

00:02:12.040 Pulls up in a Prius.

00:02:12.920 He's like, yeah, I'm a two-time division two champion.

00:02:15.900 Division one?

00:02:17.180 Division one, yeah.

00:02:18.300 So you were doing it for like.

00:02:19.880 Top notch, baby.

00:02:20.960 Chappelle Lacey's better than me by a lot.

00:02:23.100 Is that a man?

00:02:24.300 Yeah, he's a comic.

00:02:25.740 You ever seen him?

00:02:26.420 Oh, he's also.

00:02:27.580 Yeah, he's a cheerleader. 1.00

00:02:29.060 He's big as fuck, man. 1.00

00:02:31.560 Wow. 1.00

00:02:32.280 Just aggressively big.

00:02:33.540 So you were there for all the big games, and you were like, give me an A.

00:02:36.340 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:37.120 You were doing all that kind of shit. 1.00

00:02:38.280 And then you do like a lot of stunts and flips and a lot of drinking. 1.00

00:02:42.060 That's mostly what it is. 0.97

00:02:42.660 There must have been some gay. 0.84

00:02:44.460 There were.

00:02:45.060 Yeah, there were some.

00:02:46.020 Yeah.

00:02:46.480 Like everybody else except you.

00:02:48.300 Yeah.

00:02:52.140 That's cool, though.

00:02:52.920 I mean, it's just a good way to say.

00:02:54.500 And I'm just like, oh, yeah, that's not my thing, but, you know, respect.

00:02:59.840 You're just at the party like, yo, you want to run like a thing where I could look at a 1.00

00:03:03.160 pussy again? 1.00

00:03:03.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:05.560 That's pretty sick, though.

00:03:06.700 No, I never.

00:03:08.080 I played like hockey and it was competitive, but it wasn't like high, super high level.

00:03:14.100 It was like high level, but not crazy, crazy.

00:03:17.120 Does everyone do hockey up there?

00:03:18.920 Yeah.

00:03:20.380 Hockey, baseball, a lot of soccer.

00:03:23.680 I didn't play soccer.

00:03:24.660 I did basketball.

00:03:26.780 No football.

00:03:27.880 I cannot hoop. 0.99

00:03:29.120 No, I cannot fucking play for it. 0.99

00:03:31.340 I feel like when people see me play basketball, they lose whatever little respect they had 0.98

00:03:37.380 for me already.

00:03:38.760 Oh, OK.

00:03:39.220 It's aggressive.

00:03:40.020 I can't dribble. 0.97

00:03:40.920 I thought you were going to say for black people. 0.72

00:03:42.300 Yeah, that I think. 0.90

00:03:48.480 That's how bad I am.

00:03:49.740 They just see you play basketball.

00:03:50.860 They're like, oh, they're not that scary.

00:03:53.680 Me shooting at three.

00:03:55.580 They just lose respect for the community.

00:04:00.060 Like, yeah, he threw up a brick and then got in a Prius.

00:04:04.360 He's like, I'm going to say it.

00:04:06.100 I'm going to.

00:04:06.940 There's a pom-pom hanging out of the back of his Prius.

00:04:09.520 I don't know.

00:04:13.840 You know, this is what it was.

00:04:14.840 Basketball is hard.

00:04:15.440 It is hard.

00:04:16.040 It's almost more like I played hockey, but I had more like injuries just like basketball

00:04:20.740 and getting elbows in the face or like ankle twists.

00:04:23.680 It's full contact on a hard floor.

00:04:26.080 Yeah.

00:04:26.660 With huge dudes.

00:04:28.160 It's crazy.

00:04:28.740 People think it's like less physical or like less of a contact sport, but it's.

00:04:33.380 It's insanely physical.

00:04:35.120 Yeah.

00:04:35.340 If you're not tall enough, you're just getting elbowed in the face every time.

00:04:38.340 If you're trying to go up.

00:04:39.480 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:39.860 And do shit. 1.00

00:04:41.180 Whereas hockey, like you at least have equipment. 1.00

00:04:43.140 Plus, like you're moving on ice.

00:04:45.280 So if you get knocked down, like the worst is like, obviously, if you get like, if you

00:04:50.120 just have your head down and some guy just completely takes you out.

00:04:53.140 But usually like you're moving a bit.

00:04:55.760 So it's like you slide.

00:04:57.140 Yeah.

00:04:57.340 It's like the physics of it.

00:04:59.500 Like he takes away some of the.

00:05:01.380 But those shoes in basketball are made to not slip.

00:05:04.520 So you're you get you're just flying off your feet.

00:05:08.020 Yeah.

00:05:08.320 What shoes do you wear for.

00:05:10.520 Truly.

00:05:11.060 Yeah.

00:05:12.320 There was a big trend to have really light shoes when I was growing up. 0.96

00:05:15.880 And then everyone realized that fucked up your feet. 0.97

00:05:17.980 And then we moved to Asics. 0.97

00:05:19.740 So basically all the dad shoes that people wear.

00:05:22.140 Right.

00:05:22.320 That's what people wear. 0.94

00:05:24.640 Were the female cheerleaders like they're not allowed to have sex with the people on 1.00

00:05:28.900 the teams. 0.97

00:05:29.420 Right.

00:05:29.600 Oh, I mean, yeah, you're not supposed to.

00:05:31.440 But it happened all the time.

00:05:32.580 There's so many cheerleader couples now that they're just together all the time. 0.98

00:05:37.640 You know.

00:05:38.220 Mm hmm.

00:05:38.920 Fun times.

00:05:40.860 Really, really fun times.

00:05:42.920 Yeah, that sounds.

00:05:44.800 When did you start doing comedy?

00:05:47.620 Graduated college and then I was 23.

00:05:50.080 OK.

00:05:50.440 So I did comedy from 23 and then I kind of soft quit when I was 27.

00:05:54.360 Then fully didn't do it at all from 28 to basically I was 32 and then started back up

00:06:00.000 when I was 32.

00:06:00.740 Because you're a regular at Mothership.

00:06:03.100 That's fine.

00:06:03.680 And you live here.

00:06:05.460 Yeah.

00:06:05.800 You've lived here for a long time.

00:06:07.120 I've lived here for three years.

00:06:08.020 Oh, OK.

00:06:08.440 So when I moved here, well, I started doing stand up the year before ish because I was

00:06:13.460 still in law school and then started doing it like for real, for real when I moved back

00:06:19.480 here.

00:06:19.660 And it's been great.

00:06:20.840 Yeah.

00:06:21.440 Yeah.

00:06:22.400 Yeah.

00:06:22.760 We have some we have some videos.

00:06:24.160 We want to pull up one of them. 0.99

00:06:25.580 But we I don't know some random shit. 0.86

00:06:27.400 We're going to talk about or like pull up nothing too political. 0.97

00:06:30.060 There's great this this episode.

00:06:32.000 I think it's going to come out a week after two weeks after the Elon thing.

00:06:36.200 That's so funny.

00:06:37.760 But it's right now we're like in the midst of it.

00:06:40.740 Yeah. 0.99

00:06:40.980 It sucks, man. 1.00

00:06:42.180 It sucks. 1.00

00:06:43.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:43.560 It does suck. 1.00

00:06:44.980 It is kind of funny that Trump was like, look, that guy's a crackhead. 1.00

00:06:48.460 And then he's like, well, you're a pedophile. 1.00

00:06:50.920 And I'm like that. 0.98

00:06:51.760 Dude, this is Drake.

00:06:52.560 Yeah.

00:06:52.760 This is Drake versus Kendrick, except for they're both Drake.

00:07:00.740 It's like NBA creative player.

00:07:02.540 Or it was like two Drake.

00:07:03.720 So it's like a Drake versus Drake.

00:07:04.980 Yeah.

00:07:05.280 One on one.

00:07:07.580 NBA street.

00:07:09.140 Yeah. 1.00

00:07:09.740 Meanwhile, all this shit's happening, though. 0.98

00:07:11.640 I don't know about how you feel about like humanoid delivery robots. 1.00

00:07:16.780 I hate them, dude. 1.00

00:07:17.380 But I want an immigrant to drop my shit off. 1.00

00:07:21.660 I had a bad immigrant today. 1.00

00:07:24.640 Really?

00:07:25.140 Yeah. 0.76

00:07:25.720 It was stinky.

00:07:26.780 Really?

00:07:27.540 Does the smell bother you?

00:07:29.080 Have you read that article where it's like, if certain smells bother you, that could mean

00:07:34.100 you're racist?

00:07:35.580 Yeah.

00:07:36.060 She was really big on Twitter for a little bit.

00:07:38.240 Yeah.

00:07:38.720 She was a journalist or something?

00:07:39.820 No, she got her PhD in smells, basically how like we judge people on how they smell.

00:07:46.740 And there may be a racial element to that.

00:07:48.780 Yeah.

00:07:49.300 But it also may not be.

00:07:50.680 And I thought that was really cool.

00:07:51.900 I feel like a day one Indian versus like a... 1.00

00:07:56.100 You know what I'm saying?

00:08:01.940 Day one Indian. 1.00

00:08:02.720 Versus like a fucking, you know, I went to Stanford and I'm Indian, but my parents came 0.99

00:08:13.140 here in the 70s. 0.99

00:08:14.160 Like that guy does not smell bad.

00:08:15.660 That's so funny, dude.

00:08:16.560 Jesus Christ.

00:08:17.760 Just the doctor.

00:08:21.220 Day one Indian. 0.98

00:08:22.320 Day one anything. 1.00

00:08:23.460 That is the funniest shit. 1.00

00:08:25.520 Today I had a day one Nigerian. 1.00

00:08:27.180 Day one Nigerian, yeah. 0.97

00:08:29.240 Not really.

00:08:29.780 But it was, I already talked about it on the last podcast, but it is crazy that he basically

00:08:36.800 had an Uber that smelled bad and he stopped at a gas station on the way here.

00:08:41.380 And you were just left in the car?

00:08:43.180 Well, he was just like, and then he was like, it's not working.

00:08:45.520 He's like, it's not working.

00:08:47.340 And then he like went to another, and I was like, bro, like we're kind of, we've been

00:08:50.200 here for 10 minutes.

00:08:51.100 Jesus Christ.

00:08:52.180 He was getting, he was getting phone calls from Uber on the screen, like being like,

00:08:57.540 why aren't you moving?

00:08:58.300 Because they know that it's not moving. 0.97

00:09:00.160 They're trying to like figure out if you've been kidnapped or whatever the fuck. 0.99

00:09:04.600 So bad. 0.85

00:09:06.220 But there was a guy trapped in a Waymo.

00:09:09.280 Yeah.

00:09:09.700 I don't know if you saw that.

00:09:10.540 Actually, you think we can find that?

00:09:12.100 But it's, there was, yeah, this dude was like.

00:09:14.960 Just screaming like Walter White. 0.97

00:09:16.720 He took an Uber to fucking LAX and it just started going in circles in a parking lot. 0.99

00:09:22.220 And, oh, the hell was that? 0.99

00:09:27.040 The first one was just, I think it's.

00:09:29.500 That guy?

00:09:30.400 No.

00:09:31.900 It's like from inside. 1.00

00:09:33.620 Oh shit. 0.99

00:09:34.100 He's in that. 1.00

00:09:34.880 There he is.

00:09:35.320 Yeah, there it is.

00:09:35.740 This is it.

00:09:36.420 This is it.

00:09:37.120 This is it.

00:09:38.440 Oh, it's in Scottsdale.

00:09:39.420 I'm in a Waymo car.

00:09:45.680 Connected to rider support.

00:09:47.240 This call may be recorded for quality assurance.

00:09:49.560 This car is just going in circles.

00:09:51.720 I don't like this scab.

00:09:53.160 I'm calling from Waymo support.

00:09:54.580 I'm just calling because I received a notification that your car might be experiencing some routing

00:09:58.900 issue.

00:09:59.720 Please bear with me while I am in a circle.

00:10:01.180 Yeah.

00:10:01.600 I got a flight to catch.

00:10:02.860 Why is this thing going in a circle?

00:10:04.460 I'm getting dizzy.

00:10:05.160 It's.

00:10:05.760 I'm looking at this too.

00:10:06.540 It's circling around a parking lot.

00:10:17.740 I got my seatbelt on.

00:10:19.280 I can't get out the car.

00:10:20.840 Has this been hacked?

00:10:21.760 What's going on?

00:10:22.260 I feel like I'm in the movies.

00:10:24.460 Is somebody playing a joke on me?

00:10:26.760 And I got a flight to catch.

00:10:29.400 I understand, Mike.

00:10:30.540 I'm really sorry for this.

00:10:31.820 We're working with this, but if you have a chance, do you have an access to your Waymo app

00:10:35.400 right now?

00:10:36.940 It's crazy because it's like, I rather that than a Nigerian. 0.98

00:10:42.660 I rather go in circles in a parking lot and not even get on the flight than have a guy 1.00

00:10:48.320 be like, do you mind if I go to a gas station?

00:10:53.180 Yeah, I totally mind. 0.99

00:10:54.200 If you fucking go to a gas station, we're not running errands. 0.99

00:10:57.500 Do you take me to fucking Trader Joe's? 1.00

00:10:59.280 It's crazy. 1.00

00:10:59.860 And he smelled bad, and he had the windows locked.

00:11:05.720 That's insane.

00:11:07.420 I have had one where a lady wouldn't turn down the AC. 1.00

00:11:11.660 She just rolled down the windows.

00:11:12.920 I'm like, this is Texas.

00:11:14.400 It's hotter with the windows down.

00:11:16.080 She wouldn't turn it up?

00:11:17.100 She wouldn't turn the AC up.

00:11:18.460 Up?

00:11:19.080 Yeah.

00:11:19.280 Like, it was hot?

00:11:20.080 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:20.680 Oh, that's fucked. 1.00

00:11:21.680 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:21.920 It was, I mean, I'm slow.

00:11:24.020 I'm going to turn it down.

00:11:24.720 That was a very low in the temperature.

00:11:26.040 You're like, it's a little cold in here.

00:11:31.440 I'm on my way to the cheer finals.

00:11:33.400 Yeah, it's, I don't know, man.

00:11:42.940 Yeah, the robots are now scaring me.

00:11:47.740 Elon going crazy like that today made me be afraid of everything that he does.

00:11:54.220 I just feel like the government should be in charge of all of this just because I'm okay

00:12:00.080 with the government stalking me, like any government, because I feel like there's so many, like,

00:12:05.440 think about how inefficient everything in the government is, that I feel like if they

00:12:09.840 wanted the robots to take over, it would take them a while so we could, like, leave. 0.99

00:12:13.060 But if it was, like, an Elon or just one asshole who's, like, in the fucking K-hole, he's like, 1.00

00:12:18.320 that's it. 1.00

00:12:18.660 I want to kill everyone. 1.00

00:12:19.420 He just has to, like, push the button on his bed, and now the robots are, like, sodomizing 1.00

00:12:23.700 us or something.

00:12:24.500 Yeah.

00:12:25.280 No, I know what you mean, but it's also who's going to, is the government going to be

00:12:30.060 going to want the robots to, I don't know.

00:12:33.700 I don't know.

00:12:34.360 Would you want a robot around your family, around your kids?

00:12:36.920 No. 1.00

00:12:37.520 Fuck no. 1.00

00:12:37.900 You don't trust that? 1.00

00:12:38.680 No.

00:12:39.660 It's crazy.

00:12:40.360 I don't even trust, like, my cousin, you know?

00:12:43.940 He's way into Emma Watson, and I feel like that's a red flag.

00:12:47.580 I'm like, you're not watching my kids.

00:12:49.180 I might trust a robot more than a non-white. 1.00

00:12:53.040 I mean, no, I think a lot of people will.

00:12:58.960 I mean, I don't, obviously, but, like...

00:13:01.100 Like, you take your kids to high school, and they see you got a...

00:13:03.500 She's got, like, a... 0.87

00:13:04.340 Your son has got a hot English teacher.

00:13:06.340 You're like, no.

00:13:08.160 Why? 0.99

00:13:08.640 Because they're always fucking the kids, the hot English teacher. 1.00

00:13:11.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:12.480 But what's that similar to robots?

00:13:15.780 Yeah.

00:13:16.100 Robot racism?

00:13:17.160 Yeah.

00:13:17.920 There's just going to be a lot of robot racism, is what I mean.

00:13:20.420 Like, it's going to be, like, the first people to lose their jobs are not going to be white. 0.97

00:13:27.000 Yeah, true. 1.00

00:13:28.420 It's going to be, like, Mexicans and shit. 1.00

00:13:30.060 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:30.740 But I would keep it OG, because, like, even now, I don't...

00:13:34.120 I only let real, like, artists do my flyers.

00:13:37.040 I won't use AI.

00:13:38.280 And so when I know, I'm still going to keep, like, the same...

00:13:42.440 I thought you meant with Uber.

00:13:43.580 Uber.

00:13:45.660 You're just like, nah, I'm on some other app where they still got humans doing it.

00:13:49.420 That would be sick if there was another app where humans could...

00:13:52.620 You could...

00:13:53.260 You know what I mean?

00:13:54.160 Choose.

00:13:55.100 Do you want a human?

00:13:56.100 Do you want a robot?

00:13:57.020 I would want...

00:13:58.580 No one wants a robot.

00:14:00.920 No one will admit that, but, like, Uber could make a lot of money if they let you pick the

00:14:04.180 race with your driver.

00:14:05.260 For sure.

00:14:06.700 For sure.

00:14:08.200 Except if you're, like...

00:14:09.160 But then you'd be, like, oh, white, 35 minutes. 0.75

00:14:11.800 Yeah.

00:14:12.020 Black, 25, Mexican, five minutes. 0.95

00:14:15.980 Yeah.

00:14:16.440 Every time.

00:14:17.340 Every time.

00:14:19.520 Easy.

00:14:20.720 Yeah, it's...

00:14:21.720 Everything's...

00:14:23.400 America's much less racist than Canada, where I'm originally from, I think.

00:14:27.380 Do you think it's because, like, we live amongst each other?

00:14:29.840 Yeah, people are like, we're all American.

00:14:32.480 Yeah.

00:14:32.780 But also, people want to be American.

00:14:35.600 You know what I mean?

00:14:36.580 Even the Nigerian guy, like, you could tell he wanted to be American.

00:14:42.520 But if he was in Canada, I feel like, I don't know.

00:14:44.960 Like, it was almost kind of more American to be like, can I stop at a gas station?

00:14:48.040 Or maybe that's kind of Nigerian. 0.92

00:14:49.640 I don't know. 1.00

00:14:51.560 I think being an asshole transcends culture. 1.00

00:14:53.860 But people are just more... 1.00

00:14:55.340 Like, even conservatives...

00:14:56.680 Like, people think, like, my comedy, it's like, oh, conservatives are going to laugh at

00:14:59.260 that.

00:14:59.460 It's like, a liberal might laugh harder because they know I'm not serious.

00:15:03.040 Yeah.

00:15:03.340 Whereas, like, a conservative would just be like, I agree with this point.

00:15:07.080 And it's like, whoa.

00:15:08.900 That's crazy.

00:15:09.920 He's giving a manifesto for us.

00:15:11.920 But there's too many weird...

00:15:12.900 There's too many weird conservative, like, laws now with, like...

00:15:19.840 They just need a blend.

00:15:21.260 Like, why can't we just have a blend?

00:15:22.860 Best of both.

00:15:23.800 Yeah.

00:15:24.760 Best of both.

00:15:25.580 The Republicans have kind of become what the Democrats were in, like, 2013.

00:15:30.440 They're always mad about something.

00:15:32.020 They're making very restrictive laws for no reason.

00:15:35.840 I don't know why.

00:15:36.740 Yeah.

00:15:37.060 It's like, every state has, like, its own weird thing where it's like, yeah, we can't

00:15:40.900 have...

00:15:41.540 We can't have... 0.94

00:15:42.680 Trans people cannot sing the Pledge of Allegiance. 1.00

00:15:45.560 They just can't.

00:15:46.300 Is that a thing?

00:15:47.000 Yeah.

00:15:47.380 Basically.

00:15:47.960 Probably in Arkansas or something like that.

00:15:49.540 That, I...

00:15:50.120 See, that's one of the good ones.

00:15:53.400 That's...

00:15:54.000 Not actually...

00:15:57.000 I mean, I don't know what the good ones are.

00:15:58.740 Yeah.

00:15:58.900 Why can't they just...

00:15:59.920 They should just make weed legal everywhere. 0.63

00:16:02.000 Yeah.

00:16:02.240 That should be the easiest number one.

00:16:03.820 That's number one. 0.99

00:16:05.020 Let everybody out of jail who's in jail for, like, weird weed shit. 0.99

00:16:08.420 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:09.080 And then, from there, robots, legal weed, then the conservative stuff, kick out all

00:16:17.720 the, like, gang member illegals, not, like, just people here, but, like, MS, like, that 1.00

00:16:23.020 shit makes sense. 1.00

00:16:24.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:25.060 And cartel.

00:16:25.900 And then, that's pretty much it.

00:16:28.480 And besides that, just keep running into the ground.

00:16:31.580 Yeah.

00:16:31.920 Because you're not going to...

00:16:32.680 Like, Elon wants...

00:16:33.520 It's like, it's too much money.

00:16:35.320 We need to be... 1.00

00:16:35.940 Shut up. 1.00

00:16:36.920 How are we going to do that? 1.00

00:16:38.400 Yeah.

00:16:39.000 I hate the...

00:16:39.900 I hate it so much because the only way we're going to get out of that is just by taxing

00:16:43.400 them at 90%, which we should do, but who cares?

00:16:47.520 Oh, the government's in debt.

00:16:48.440 It's not real money, dude.

00:16:49.620 Just spend it.

00:16:51.340 Let people have a little fun.

00:16:52.680 He's too autistic, though. 0.99

00:16:53.480 He's like...

00:16:54.460 The numbers must...

00:16:56.320 Donald.

00:16:58.220 A hundred trillion.

00:16:59.360 Well, a hundred trillion does sound bad, but...

00:17:02.640 Or what is it?

00:17:03.420 Is it a hundred trillion?

00:17:04.360 I think it's, like, 27 trillion or something like that.

00:17:07.820 But that's the thing.

00:17:08.840 It's kind of like, you ever go out drinking, and then you see your bill from the next night,

00:17:13.280 you're like, 36.

00:17:14.240 That's not real.

00:17:14.940 36 trillion.

00:17:15.900 So, it's low.

00:17:16.640 It's low.

00:17:17.280 Yeah, it's not bad.

00:17:18.920 We can get the 50.

00:17:19.580 36 is not a high number.

00:17:21.460 It's not that bad.

00:17:22.560 It's not that bad.

00:17:23.720 Like, when I see 36, I go, oh, out of a hundred?

00:17:26.600 Yeah.

00:17:28.720 What are we talking about here?

00:17:30.600 36 trillion.

00:17:31.480 I mean, it is crazy.

00:17:33.860 We, like, owe more money than there are, like, stars in the galaxy.

00:17:38.720 It's like...

00:17:39.920 I don't even think...

00:17:40.480 Isn't stars of the galaxy in the billions?

00:17:42.760 I think so.

00:17:43.580 That's it.

00:17:44.280 Yeah.

00:17:45.360 Just straight dollars.

00:17:46.480 That's so bad.

00:17:47.560 That's fine. 0.99

00:17:48.400 But the reason why all that shit's bad is because it's just, like, gross to hear these numbers. 0.99

00:17:52.720 Like, for most people, it'll just be like, yeah, 20 million and then 100 billion. 0.98

00:17:56.280 It's just like...

00:17:57.700 Yeah.

00:17:58.320 400 billion.

00:17:59.160 We owe more money than there are stars in the galaxy.

00:18:01.220 By exponentially.

00:18:03.360 By...

00:18:04.480 Yeah, that's crazy.

00:18:05.240 I think people wouldn't mind paying taxes if they saw...

00:18:09.480 Like, I would pay more in taxes if I didn't have to see a homeless person ever.

00:18:14.280 Yeah.

00:18:14.920 Like, that's how much it means to me to not see them.

00:18:18.440 Or if, like, I knew teachers didn't have to, like, buy their supplies.

00:18:22.480 But I do say...

00:18:23.500 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:24.040 You know, like, that kind of shit. 1.00

00:18:25.100 I asked a Chinese person about this and they were like, well, in China... 1.00

00:18:27.720 Because in China, they don't really have homeless people.

00:18:29.960 Yeah.

00:18:30.180 But that's because...

00:18:31.220 I don't know why I said people kind of Chinese.

00:18:32.820 People.

00:18:34.300 They don't.

00:18:35.280 They just get rid of them. 0.99

00:18:36.820 They just fucking find them and they're like... 0.99

00:18:38.800 Which is basically what you want your tax dollars to do. 1.00

00:18:41.180 Because, like, at the end of the day, people are crazy.

00:18:43.620 They want to wander the streets.

00:18:45.200 I say this all the time.

00:18:46.820 Because I used to be a big, like, prison abolitionist guy.

00:18:49.240 But then after working in law for a little bit, I do...

00:18:52.520 After working around and learning from a lot of whites... 0.99

00:18:55.080 Let me tell you.

00:18:56.520 Hand sanitizer is 99.9% effective.

00:19:00.440 There's always going to be a little bit.

00:19:02.180 The same way...

00:19:03.000 Look, we have rules on how society is structured.

00:19:05.360 Jesus, you're Hitler. 0.59

00:19:06.480 This can't...

00:19:07.360 Not everyone is going to be able to...

00:19:09.080 We need to sanitize 99.9% of these people.

00:19:11.920 And by that, I mean... 1.00

00:19:12.680 Burn them alive. 0.99

00:19:15.220 There's only so many things you can do. 1.00

00:19:17.320 Like a Jew in Colorado. 1.00

00:19:20.080 It's been three weeks.

00:19:22.320 Wait, what happened in Colorado?

00:19:23.600 Did someone...

00:19:24.140 Some, like...

00:19:25.200 Oh, that attack. 0.69

00:19:25.860 Muslim guy, like, threw a, like, Molotov cocktail at, like, an old Jewish lady. 1.00

00:19:32.660 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:19:33.580 Burned her alive a little bit. 1.00

00:19:34.860 It is kind of crazy how, like, wildly anti-Semitic things are getting right now.

00:19:38.960 And I'm on the left, and I feel like if I say that, people are like...

00:19:41.680 But I'm like, dude, I'm still...

00:19:43.960 You know, it's still...

00:19:45.320 You know, free pal.

00:19:45.880 Trans rights.

00:19:46.560 I get you, like...

00:19:47.320 Free pal is not kill all the Jews, but what's going on here? 1.00

00:19:49.720 Yeah, like, fuck, dude. 1.00

00:19:50.900 Well, I mean, the people on the left who, with the Jew stuff, they just have... 1.00

00:19:57.700 They've been in denial about a lot of stuff, and then people on the right are, like, just,

00:20:02.180 like, coming out with, like, a lot of, like, heat, where they're like, Epstein, Weinstein, 1.00

00:20:07.340 oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, and the Jews are like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:20:10.640 I mean, even the Jews are kind of like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:20:12.500 But it's like, to get... 1.00

00:20:15.160 Like, they want to get rid of Israel, blah, blah, I don't know.

00:20:20.060 They're not getting rid of Israel.

00:20:21.580 They want to, though.

00:20:22.460 Dude, it's too late.

00:20:24.260 Oh, what is Israel?

00:20:25.120 It's like, what, 70?

00:20:26.120 It's too late, dude.

00:20:26.920 It's not that big.

00:20:27.740 It's not that big.

00:20:28.580 They could move, but, like, no.

00:20:30.020 We're not putting them all...

00:20:30.480 The whole country would fit into, like, four Bass Pros.

00:20:34.200 It's not that big.

00:20:35.580 77 years old.

00:20:37.480 We could give all the Jews North Dakota and all the Palestinians South Dakota. 1.00

00:20:40.560 They just don't want it.

00:20:41.520 They want the thing.

00:20:42.960 But it's like, people are... 0.97

00:20:45.680 Like, poor people are mad, and they're crazy. 1.00

00:20:49.060 Like, you go crazy if you're that poor. 0.88

00:20:51.040 That's why they're doing it.

00:20:52.220 Yeah.

00:20:53.040 I mean, I think about that all the time.

00:20:54.720 Like, if...

00:20:55.700 I think I see two sides of it. 0.96

00:20:57.840 Because, one, like, if I was in Palestine, and, like, you killed my dad with, like, a fricking 1.00

00:21:02.100 curvy sword, like some Jewish blade, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to join Hamas. 1.00

00:21:05.700 I'm going to paraglide into, like, whatever. 1.00

00:21:08.200 We're listening to fucking... 1.00

00:21:10.220 More like a 10,000 pound bomb. 1.00

00:21:13.020 What was that?

00:21:15.080 They had an EDM concert next to, like, a concentration camp when the October 7th started.

00:21:20.000 Well, that's what they said.

00:21:20.880 I mean, there's, like, a lot of...

00:21:22.960 Like, I mean, if we're going to go there...

00:21:25.260 They're listening to Teddy Swims.

00:21:28.900 But they say it's, like, a concentration camp.

00:21:30.780 But then, now that they blew it up, they're like, look how beautiful it was.

00:21:33.560 It's like, you can't be both.

00:21:35.080 You can't say it's a concentration camp and then be like, we used to have airports, you

00:21:40.720 know what I mean?

00:21:41.340 Or we used to have shopping malls.

00:21:43.060 But then I've seen videos recently where it's, like, there's still parts that, like, aren't

00:21:46.300 bombed out.

00:21:46.980 Like, they just never show those parts.

00:21:49.000 Yeah.

00:21:49.640 But, I mean, but, dude, they've...

00:21:50.880 I think the thing is...

00:21:51.300 They've blown up a lot of it.

00:21:52.520 They have blown up a lot of it.

00:21:53.740 This is the thing with Israel. 0.99

00:21:55.380 It's not great, but at the same...

00:21:56.680 You got your lick back, dude.

00:21:58.700 That's what I thought, like, day one.

00:22:00.380 Yeah.

00:22:00.500 I was like, they were like, they killed 2,300 people in 10 minutes.

00:22:02.820 I'm like, oh, that's...

00:22:03.580 Dude, you got your lick back?

00:22:05.080 We're even?

00:22:05.640 Yeah.

00:22:06.000 Keep going? 1.00

00:22:06.700 Fucking stop. 1.00

00:22:07.440 But the problem is that if they stopped... 1.00

00:22:09.680 Then they'll do it again. 1.00

00:22:10.800 Because they fucking dug all those fucking tunnels. 1.00

00:22:14.320 Yeah. 1.00

00:22:14.440 And, like, they had this whole terror network.

00:22:16.740 And, like, they didn't build any shelters for any of the...

00:22:19.380 Purposely, they don't want the civilians to have shelter because then they can't blow up...

00:22:26.540 Be like, look at all the dead civilians.

00:22:28.200 I mean, that's what I've been told.

00:22:30.280 I don't know what to believe. 1.00

00:22:31.460 I think they're all crazy. 0.90

00:22:33.580 You should watch this documentary called No Other Land. 1.00

00:22:38.500 It's about, like, how these Jewish people just go into the West Bank and they just start fucking up people's homes and shit. 1.00

00:22:45.040 But I didn't realize that people just live out in the... 0.99

00:22:47.480 They just live out in the desert sometimes.

00:22:49.500 That's how they want to do.

00:22:50.420 They just want to...

00:22:51.120 They're like the Amish, but they're, like, more chill.

00:22:53.260 They just want to...

00:22:53.900 It's kind of like the show Owning New York.

00:22:57.120 You know, most people...

00:22:58.720 No, no, no.

00:22:59.740 Like, the real estate shows.

00:23:01.860 I haven't seen that.

00:23:02.980 It's just, like, a realtor doing, like, million-dollar listings.

00:23:06.320 And I was just saying that's basically what the guys going to the West Bank and stealing land are doing.

00:23:10.740 They're just like, well, I have a joke about that where I'm like, you know, Jews are natural real estate agents. 0.96

00:23:17.000 So if you give them an AK-47, they're like, is it for sale?

00:23:20.060 Like, I don't know, but... 1.00

00:23:21.760 Or a fucking M-60 or whatever. 0.99

00:23:23.440 They bulldozed a school and a playground in that documentary. 1.00

00:23:28.180 And the kids are just, like, playing on it. 1.00

00:23:30.340 And there's no way to see that and not be like, dude, fuck you. 1.00

00:23:33.920 Like, that's the knee-jerk reaction. 1.00

00:23:36.320 I think that's the most logical reaction.

00:23:37.820 If you see someone, like, destroying a playground that your kid is playing on, it's like, what is your problem?

00:23:42.500 Yeah, but, I mean, you know, those kids are good terrorists.

00:23:47.000 I mean, they're not.

00:23:49.420 I mean, they're not.

00:23:50.300 It's bad.

00:23:50.940 You shouldn't bulldoze playgrounds.

00:23:52.580 But sometimes you got to make room for some more Jews. 0.94

00:23:56.540 Yeah.

00:23:56.900 You got to do unto others.

00:23:58.860 Is it a Jewish playground? 0.97

00:23:59.980 No. 1.00

00:24:00.280 They're fucking blowing up. 0.99

00:24:01.680 It's so funny. 1.00

00:24:02.560 They tear down the playground.

00:24:03.660 They rebuild the exact same playground.

00:24:05.680 Yeah.

00:24:06.660 They're like, Jews only. 1.00

00:24:08.140 I don't understand why.

00:24:11.340 Like, I understand why Jews originally wanted to go there. 0.99

00:24:13.520 But, like, the obsession of, like, again, if you're super religious and it's, like, the big, you know, it's, like, people go to Mecca or fucking other super, you know, Vatican or, but it's, like, who cares?

00:24:27.220 When they came up with the idea for Zionism, one of the original locations was going to be, I believe. 0.97

00:24:33.380 Like, Madagascar or, like.

00:24:34.900 Yeah.

00:24:35.080 It was going to be somewhere in Africa.

00:24:36.400 That's the funny thing about that story is that, like, a group of Jews, like, every 10 years, like, went on some weird, like, real estate adventure where they're, like. 0.97

00:24:44.100 They were, like, we could be Jewish.

00:24:45.040 Take me.

00:24:45.540 Let's go see a couple properties.

00:24:47.020 We could have actually had.

00:24:48.180 They're, like, here, what, do you like Africa? 0.79

00:24:50.680 They're, like, no, this is awful.

00:24:51.940 That would have been so funny. 0.94

00:24:52.960 We would have actually had, like, legit black Israelites if they went to Africa. 0.98

00:24:57.320 But also, they would have probably had, I mean, not as much security, but I'm sure, like, a good amount of walled off.

00:25:06.980 I live in Houston, and I feel like black people and Jewish people get along very fine.

00:25:10.780 I think it would have worked.

00:25:12.200 Yeah.

00:25:12.960 More so than what's going on now.

00:25:15.220 Yeah.

00:25:15.620 Yeah. 0.99

00:25:16.060 But the problem is that the fucking, they were, that's where they wanted, you know, the OG spot. 0.99

00:25:21.200 Yeah. 0.99

00:25:21.480 I don't, see, there's another thing that you can't say if you're on the left, which is, like, everyone's, like, well, why don't the Jews go back? 0.98

00:25:27.080 I'm, like, dude, I think you should really read history.

00:25:30.020 Go back where?

00:25:30.600 To Europe.

00:25:31.640 I think you should read history from the 1700s to the 1700s. 1.00

00:25:34.260 Because there's too many fucking Muslims there. 1.00

00:25:36.080 That's why. 1.00

00:25:36.940 In Europe?

00:25:37.780 Yeah.

00:25:38.380 Is it?

00:25:38.860 Is that what we're taking over?

00:25:40.680 That's not why they aren't, but, like, well, there's way, like, I mean, yeah, there's a lot of, like, it's, Europe's going to be 50% Muslim in, like, 2050 or something. 0.68

00:25:48.800 I love it.

00:25:49.740 You like that?

00:25:50.500 Well, I'm Muslim, so I like it. 0.99

00:25:51.920 Well, it's disgusting. 0.98

00:25:54.880 It's great. 0.99

00:25:55.600 You're actually Muslim?

00:25:56.360 Like, from birth?

00:25:57.740 No.

00:25:58.200 Not from birth.

00:25:58.620 Oh, okay.

00:25:58.940 Well, that's, you know, that's not Muslim. 1.00

00:26:01.160 Got raped. 1.00

00:26:02.360 That's not Muslim. 1.00

00:26:03.760 Muslim.

00:26:04.720 I did an American History XL. 1.00

00:26:05.300 Muslim is, like, your fucking sister wore a burqa. 1.00

00:26:08.040 No, no, no. 1.00

00:26:08.860 That's, would you put your kids in burqas? 0.99

00:26:12.140 No, that'd be ridiculous. 0.98

00:26:14.160 Yeah. 0.90

00:26:14.640 So, you're not really Muslim. 0.99

00:26:16.020 You're just like, you're like black Muslim where you're just like, yeah, I read the fucking Malcolm X or whatever. 1.00

00:26:24.560 Was he Muslim? 0.99

00:26:26.520 He wasn't Muslim.

00:26:26.960 Well, he wasn't Muslim at first.

00:26:28.700 He was in the Nation of Islam, which is a cult. 0.99

00:26:30.780 And then he became Muslim.

00:26:32.180 But this is different than, like...

00:26:37.780 Yeah, you're talking about religious fundamentalism, which is, like, always a problem.

00:26:43.360 Well, but it's spreading through Europe.

00:26:45.400 But if...

00:26:46.040 Yeah.

00:26:46.500 I didn't know this.

00:26:47.660 I mean, Jews are still the highest persecuted. 0.96

00:26:52.220 Let me say, Jews are the highest persecution. 0.97

00:26:56.140 Yeah. 0.90

00:26:56.360 But, I mean, they don't want to live in Europe because they're...

00:26:59.040 I mean, that's the thing, though.

00:27:00.240 Like, in the 1700s and 1800s, they did try to get rid of the Jews multiple times through crazy methods.

00:27:06.460 But, like, they got...

00:27:08.960 50 million Muslims in Europe. 1.00

00:27:10.800 Holy shit. 1.00

00:27:11.400 Is that cool? 1.00

00:27:12.180 That's bad.

00:27:13.700 No, it says it's 4% of the population, 6% of the population in Germany.

00:27:18.120 6% is bad.

00:27:18.560 In France, they've got a lot of Muslim people in France.

00:27:22.020 That's crazy.

00:27:24.040 We got to get those numbers up, baby.

00:27:28.060 I don't think...

00:27:29.300 Taylor, are you Muslim?

00:27:30.720 You're not...

00:27:31.320 Are you religious?

00:27:32.300 Yeah, I'm pretty religious.

00:27:33.240 I pray every day.

00:27:34.160 I go to church on Fridays.

00:27:36.240 Church?

00:27:36.780 Yeah.

00:27:37.060 You mean a mosque?

00:27:37.720 Mosque, yeah.

00:27:38.740 You take the shoes off and you...

00:27:40.700 Yeah, you got to do a little shower before you... 1.00

00:27:42.420 Fuck. 1.00

00:27:42.740 Oh, God. 1.00

00:27:43.520 Make sure you're clean. 1.00

00:27:44.740 I wish my Nigerian Uber was fucking Muslim. 1.00

00:27:48.880 I think his car was just dirty. 1.00

00:27:50.860 So you go to, like, a mosque and just shower the bunch of immigrants? 0.99

00:27:54.200 No, you don't shower.

00:27:55.500 It's like you do what you do.

00:27:57.900 You, like, wash your feet, wash your hands, wash your mouth, wash your face upon your ears. 0.51

00:28:01.700 And then everybody's just looking at you like this...

00:28:03.560 Everyone does it.

00:28:04.760 You're like in a...

00:28:05.280 They like you there?

00:28:06.180 Yeah, it's great.

00:28:07.520 They speak English?

00:28:08.700 Yeah, they speak English.

00:28:09.760 I mean, you pray...

00:28:10.880 You do the ending prayer and the starting prayer, you do it in Arabic.

00:28:14.900 It's cool.

00:28:15.160 And what is the prayer?

00:28:17.120 What do you mean what is the prayer?

00:28:18.200 It's, you know...

00:28:18.720 What are you praying for?

00:28:19.860 The downfall of Israel? 0.79

00:28:21.460 Yeah, that's mostly it.

00:28:23.660 Don't lie. 0.99

00:28:24.220 They definitely say some shit like that. 0.99

00:28:26.120 That'd be so fast. 1.00

00:28:27.280 Every single prayer, it's just...

00:28:30.600 No, you start off, you know, you always say, you know, look, I attest that there's no God

00:28:35.140 but God and Muhammad was his final messenger.

00:28:37.500 And then you, you know, thank God for all the other stuff.

00:28:40.820 What about the other better religions?

00:28:42.700 There's no other religion, dude.

00:28:44.620 Christianity? 0.62

00:28:45.460 No.

00:28:46.580 You're brought up Christian. 0.99

00:28:47.780 Yeah.

00:28:48.520 And you think it's... 0.98

00:28:49.480 I knew it was bullshit from when I was like five. 0.99

00:28:52.820 Which part? 0.99

00:28:53.780 What's the biggest question? 0.99

00:28:54.840 I would go to a black-ass church and they had like a white Jesus there. 1.00

00:28:57.620 I was like, this is some bullshit. 1.00

00:28:59.680 That's like you being a cheerleader, though. 1.00

00:29:01.400 Yeah.

00:29:03.860 It's like he doesn't...

00:29:04.680 Oh, is it white?

00:29:05.300 Oh, is it...

00:29:06.060 Wait, is it...

00:29:06.680 They didn't have black Jesus? 0.99

00:29:08.580 Nah. 0.67

00:29:09.060 And then I went to another church, they did have a black Jesus.

00:29:11.420 This is what's funny, though. 0.65

00:29:12.260 I went to one church, they had white Jesus, but they had black Santa Claus. 0.95

00:29:15.640 Then went to another church, they had black Jesus and a white Santa Claus. 0.81

00:29:18.660 I was like, do you see my wires are crossed right?

00:29:21.800 At least you're allowed to draw the guy, right?

00:29:23.780 Yeah.

00:29:23.980 That's why I don't like...

00:29:25.160 That's why I like this.

00:29:25.820 You can't draw.

00:29:26.660 No one knows what he looks like.

00:29:28.200 I know.

00:29:28.880 I mean, we all know.

00:29:31.380 But... 1.00

00:29:31.900 He looks like a fucking terrorist. 1.00

00:29:33.540 No. 1.00

00:29:34.700 He's probably real handsome.

00:29:36.100 He led more, dude.

00:29:37.780 He had a turban.

00:29:39.280 Yeah, something like that.

00:29:41.100 It's not my culture.

00:29:42.600 No, I'm just kidding.

00:29:43.760 No, I like it.

00:29:44.620 I think that all religions are equally not necessarily...

00:29:50.300 Like, they all kind of miss the mark on everything. 0.91

00:29:52.480 I do think that we can say that some religions are more goofy than others. 0.98

00:29:59.540 But I think the majority of Muslims... 0.98

00:30:02.400 More Muslims are religious fundamentalists than any other religion. 0.98

00:30:07.120 Yeah, I don't know if that's necessarily true or not.

00:30:10.560 I'd have to dig into it.

00:30:12.400 It is not.

00:30:12.640 Can we Google it?

00:30:13.840 I do know more.

00:30:14.860 But I do know a lot of these places...

00:30:17.160 How can they know that?

00:30:18.420 Well, a lot of these places, they either are in conservative places, or America has helped

00:30:25.400 prop up a conservative government to, like...

00:30:28.200 Are you not allowed to drink if you're Muslim? 1.00

00:30:30.180 Yeah, I'm not supposed to. 0.89

00:30:31.660 I drink too much.

00:30:33.540 All I've been doing all summer...

00:30:34.760 You're just all these...

00:30:35.940 You're like Sims, and then you just, like, randomize, like, four times, and then it's

00:30:42.420 like...

00:30:42.640 Yeah.

00:30:42.980 He's a Muslim cheerleader who drinks. 1.00

00:30:45.040 Mm-hmm.

00:30:46.020 Does comedy.

00:30:47.120 I've done so many things in my life.

00:30:48.900 I've never heard you talk about the cheerleading on stage.

00:30:51.200 Yeah, I used to, but then Chappelle Lacey does all of my jokes so much better than me.

00:30:55.300 Oh.

00:30:56.060 Some guy stole your bit? 0.67

00:30:57.400 No, he didn't steal my joke.

00:30:58.700 He just had a better take on being a cheerleader, and I just... 0.69

00:31:01.460 Was he also black?

00:31:02.400 Yeah.

00:31:03.220 And I feel like I couldn't think of anything funnier than what he said, and so I just kind

00:31:07.020 of stopped for a little bit.

00:31:08.780 But there's got to be something there. 1.00

00:31:11.360 There's tons of shit. 1.00

00:31:12.300 Just talk about how you were sex best. 1.00

00:31:14.180 Yeah.

00:31:14.900 Were you?

00:31:15.680 No. 0.99

00:31:16.100 I mean, I had a sex with a few teammates, but, you know, just chill. 0.99

00:31:19.920 Had a sex? 0.99

00:31:21.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:31:21.420 Is that a Muslim thing? 0.89

00:31:22.460 Yeah.

00:31:23.040 They count them out?

00:31:23.800 Mm-hmm. 1.00

00:31:25.500 Joe, because you can only fuck one way. 1.00

00:31:27.340 I have a joke I want to do where I go... 1.00

00:31:29.260 Facing...

00:31:30.320 You know, now everybody thinks the Jews... 0.97

00:31:32.980 Every time there's a Muslim terrorist attack, they think it's Jews. 0.99

00:31:35.440 Like, the Jews did it so that people hate the Muslims. 0.99

00:31:38.300 It's like... 0.90

00:31:39.280 But, like, a Jew never does it. 1.00

00:31:40.760 Like, he's never like, I'm going to blow myself up so then I can go to heaven and get

00:31:44.100 72% off.

00:31:48.460 It's a 72 version.

00:31:50.600 You like that?

00:31:52.460 Let's go.

00:31:53.000 72% off.

00:31:56.540 I thought of a really funny sketch, and it would be...

00:32:00.480 You ever seen one of those Get Ready With Me videos?

00:32:02.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:32:03.760 Like, Get Ready With Me?

00:32:04.880 I thought it'd be funny to do, like, a Get Ready With Me as I go to the comedy mothership

00:32:10.120 to globalize the intifada by converting Joe Rogan to Islam. 0.94

00:32:14.580 And I thought that would be really funny.

00:32:15.280 Well, folks, thank you for tuning into the show.

00:32:17.480 No, it's been great having you on.

00:32:21.060 I thought that would be so funny, because he's obviously not going to do it, but just

00:32:24.020 the idea of me filling a backpack with a bunch of Muslim materials and then just, like,

00:32:28.160 riding a bike to him.

00:32:30.360 I thought that would be so funny.

00:32:33.060 No one else thinks this is funny but me.

00:32:34.840 But I'm like, we're not making fun of anyone.

00:32:37.460 I feel like that don't even...

00:32:38.560 It's one of those things, like, who is that even offensive to?

00:32:41.880 It's offensive to Muslim people more than anything. 0.66

00:32:48.600 It's just...

00:32:49.400 I don't know. 0.98

00:32:50.000 It's such a ridiculous thing. 0.99

00:32:51.220 It's like, my next thought is, this guy's a terrorist. 1.00

00:32:54.400 Yeah. 0.98

00:32:57.980 Muslims riding bicycles, Muslims... 1.00

00:33:00.360 That's a new drone attacks. 0.99

00:33:01.260 That's...

00:33:02.060 You know, I've seen Team America.

00:33:06.700 They're good, they're good.

00:33:08.100 No, it's...

00:33:08.640 I mean, it's bad that I think this way.

00:33:12.080 But I just...

00:33:13.020 I don't know.

00:33:13.680 I think that it's okay to want to preserve certain cultural norms.

00:33:21.360 Mm-hmm.

00:33:22.100 You know?

00:33:23.640 Like, that's what...

00:33:24.720 Well, like, the Jews do it. 1.00

00:33:26.280 They have the Israel. 0.96

00:33:27.080 They want it to be a certain way.

00:33:28.580 The Muslims have their countries. 0.99

00:33:29.920 They want it to be a certain way.

00:33:31.260 But then, both of them come to other countries and they're like, hey, it's time to change.

00:33:37.100 Yeah.

00:33:38.240 I've never felt like...

00:33:39.340 I mean, it's not.

00:33:40.200 But, like, you know, when I see a mosque, I'm not exactly excited. 1.00

00:33:44.220 Why not?

00:33:44.900 They're great places.

00:33:45.400 I go, well, this area's done.

00:33:50.100 It used to be a nice area.

00:33:53.700 You're a block away from a mosque right now.

00:33:56.420 Well, now that I know that, I'll never do that.

00:33:59.680 Come on, dude.

00:34:00.380 It's a great mosque.

00:34:00.900 No, I don't actually care.

00:34:02.220 But, like, there is this, like, part of me that goes, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.

00:34:09.680 Yeah, because it's just different.

00:34:10.960 Maybe I'm Jew.

00:34:11.660 But I was never religious.

00:34:13.020 I was never...

00:34:14.260 You know, I did Christmas.

00:34:15.600 Yeah.

00:34:16.500 Are you Jewish?

00:34:16.980 As a Christian, my dad is.

00:34:18.780 But he's not religious either.

00:34:19.980 But, like, my mom wasn't religious, but she was, like, Christian.

00:34:23.540 We did Christmas.

00:34:25.260 And Christmas just, you know, there's no burkas. 1.00

00:34:29.660 There's no...

00:34:30.500 There's no turbans.

00:34:34.720 I'm just saying that it's...

00:34:37.500 You have to get used to it.

00:34:39.280 Yeah.

00:34:39.680 You know, when you see a burka at the mall... 1.00

00:34:42.460 Like, what do you think?

00:34:43.240 You think, good.

00:34:43.920 We're happy.

00:34:44.920 Let's go. 0.99

00:34:45.560 I feel like I don't really give a shit. 0.99

00:34:47.040 I'm like, that's y'all's business. 0.99

00:34:48.420 Yeah.

00:34:48.920 I wish I...

00:34:49.540 See, maybe it's a Canadian thing where we just, like, we're like, ugh, look at this.

00:34:53.640 Do you own a home?

00:34:55.020 No.

00:34:55.580 Okay.

00:34:56.800 I have a theory that owning a home turns you into a conservative.

00:35:00.540 Yeah.

00:35:01.240 I feel like everyone...

00:35:02.960 Like, that's why millennials are the most liberal, because we don't own homes.

00:35:06.220 But I talk to my friends who own homes. 1.00

00:35:08.240 They're massive assholes now. 1.00

00:35:10.520 They, like, they used to be so cool. 1.00

00:35:12.260 They own a home now, and they're like, my neighbor's not cutting his grass. 1.00

00:35:14.740 Why do you give a fuck, dude? 1.00

00:35:16.360 Go outside. 1.00

00:35:17.440 Go get some pussy like you used to. 1.00

00:35:19.440 Like, oh, he's not taking... 1.00

00:35:20.260 Well, that's home poor.

00:35:22.100 What do you mean?

00:35:22.620 They spend all their money on a home.

00:35:24.240 Yeah.

00:35:24.680 There's a lot of that.

00:35:25.220 That's a problem.

00:35:26.660 But I would only rent.

00:35:27.840 No, but I mean, I rent, but if I'm walking around, you know, recently there's been a

00:35:32.520 couple more...

00:35:34.480 There was Muslims with kefias on, and they said hi to my wife.

00:35:39.660 Dude, they're so nice.

00:35:40.680 They'll literally invite you over and make you dinner.

00:35:42.920 Yeah.

00:35:43.420 Yeah.

00:35:43.760 Yeah.

00:35:45.200 It's a great, very welcoming community.

00:35:46.440 You think?

00:35:46.940 I definitely, I 1,000% think so. 1.00

00:35:49.080 And they won't even talk about Muslim shit. 0.99

00:35:50.520 And then during the dinner, I go, so what do you think of the Israel Palmas night? 1.00

00:35:53.920 And you're going to...

00:35:55.880 Brother, you're going to unlock some...

00:35:57.940 They're just like, uh, Hamidi, you're very nice.

00:36:02.820 You're family.

00:36:03.440 Come for dinner.

00:36:04.080 And then we get there.

00:36:04.660 I'm like, I'm Jewish.

00:36:06.140 I support Israel.

00:36:07.160 No, I don't.

00:36:07.780 I don't.

00:36:08.260 I know.

00:36:09.260 I swear to God.

00:36:10.300 You're not allowed to.

00:36:11.220 Even if you do, even if you secretly, you're like, yeah, blow them all up.

00:36:14.020 But, um...

00:36:15.580 I do wish...

00:36:16.580 I do wonder, like, if, um, how I would feel if, like, after...

00:36:21.420 Because Israel was made after the Holocaust, right? 0.98

00:36:23.940 So I do feel like after, like, if the American government killed Martin Luther King, I don't

00:36:29.240 know, JFK got on the news and was like, hey, sorry about that.

00:36:33.360 We took it a little too far.

00:36:34.760 Am I right, guys?

00:36:35.680 Look, we're going to give you guys California.

00:36:37.360 California, and we'll give you a bunch of money to make California awesome, and we'll

00:36:41.000 have endless defense contracts with California, and you can turn into, like, a nigga utopia, 1.00

00:36:45.440 right?

00:36:46.900 Oh, yeah.

00:36:47.400 That'll go well.

00:36:48.240 Yeah.

00:36:48.540 If it was just all of us just in, no interference, we got to do whatever we wanted, you know?

00:36:53.560 It was just like a...

00:36:54.220 You mean like Africa? 1.00

00:36:56.060 No, like season four of Atlanta, like that kind of shit. 0.99

00:36:58.320 Like, it would be like that. 0.99

00:36:59.180 Like, we get inland...

00:37:00.060 It'd be like our own Wakanda. 1.00

00:37:01.240 I don't know if I would...

00:37:04.720 I don't know what I would do to preserve something like that.

00:37:08.880 I think that's my thing.

00:37:10.380 Right.

00:37:10.560 If the American government was fully behind the back of preserving and creating a special

00:37:15.900 place for black people to thrive and succeed, that was specifically our own, and we were

00:37:21.380 given, like, endless resources to make it that way.

00:37:24.300 I don't know how kind I would be to someone wanting to call for the dissolution of that.

00:37:31.660 Just because I'm thinking about, like, my own history or, like, my own family's history

00:37:35.540 or what they've been through, yeah, I don't know.

00:37:38.160 I would love to have gone...

00:37:39.580 I'd be a totally different person if I went to elementary schools where I was not, like,

00:37:43.460 othered, you know?

00:37:44.960 I just know that.

00:37:46.580 Because I went to some...

00:37:47.640 So you went to some good schools.

00:37:49.080 I went to, like, full black schools.

00:37:50.860 I went to schools where I was the only black person.

00:37:54.040 I went to schools where everyone was black, and there's just a noticeable difference in,

00:37:58.200 like, how I was treated, how I was expected to perform, the level of books I was given,

00:38:05.060 you know?

00:38:05.440 Like, I remember in high school...

00:38:06.660 So you're at the black school, what?

00:38:07.880 You were given lower-level books? 0.65

00:38:10.000 No, just, like, I was told you can do whatever you want.

00:38:12.700 And at the white schools, it was like...

00:38:13.940 Like, I remember a white teacher in high school told me...

00:38:16.660 I did her a book report on, like, The Road by Cormac McCarthy, and she was like,

00:38:20.580 you didn't read this book. 0.96

00:38:21.900 I was like, why wouldn't I have read fucking Cormac McCarthy? 0.98

00:38:24.520 She was like, you can't read that. 0.96

00:38:26.220 You got it offline. 0.99

00:38:27.420 And I was like, what the fuck is... 0.99

00:38:29.480 What is your problem? 1.00

00:38:30.660 Like, you can't fucking read, you know? 1.00

00:38:33.000 Did you? 0.99

00:38:33.620 Yeah, I read it.

00:38:39.280 Sure about that, pal?

00:38:40.400 Yeah, I turned it in, and then she... 1.00

00:38:43.500 I remember this, because this was like...

00:38:44.960 How old was she? 1.00

00:38:45.660 She was old as shit. 1.00

00:38:47.960 That lady was the oldest... 1.00

00:38:48.540 That must have been a really good school, though.

00:38:50.520 What, that one?

00:38:51.280 No.

00:38:51.700 No, it wasn't even that good of a school. 1.00

00:38:52.540 Just an old white lady be like, you didn't read this, motherfucker. 1.00

00:38:56.520 This motherfucker talking about he read some fucking Cormac... 1.00

00:38:58.980 She starts doing black voice. 1.00

00:39:02.000 Shit. 1.00

00:39:05.360 That motherfucker talking about he read some Cormac McCarthy. 1.00

00:39:07.700 Come on. 1.00

00:39:09.280 Mm-hmm.

00:39:10.400 Did she know you were a cheerleader? 0.62

00:39:14.120 I wasn't a cheerleader yet.

00:39:15.420 Oh.

00:39:16.080 She made you into one.

00:39:17.360 She made me, yeah.

00:39:18.120 Turned into Spike.

00:39:18.820 No, but so...

00:39:20.180 That's crazy, though.

00:39:22.060 But, like...

00:39:23.180 I feel like everybody's kind of an other.

00:39:26.460 No?

00:39:29.200 Aren't whites the other now? 0.99

00:39:30.900 No, I think you guys still got it.

00:39:32.640 You think?

00:39:33.280 Yeah.

00:39:34.140 I think we lost it.

00:39:35.160 Well, you know what you lost?

00:39:37.120 I think you guys just lost control of your women, 0.99

00:39:39.120 and you don't know how to reel them back in,

00:39:41.760 and it's really, really, really taking a hit on your community.

00:39:45.020 Oh, yeah. 0.60

00:39:45.320 All those videos of white women twerking on top of cars 1.00

00:39:48.620 and beating the shit out of people at Walmarts. 1.00

00:39:51.740 Yeah. 0.94

00:39:52.040 I'm just kidding.

00:39:52.720 No, no, it is. 0.98

00:39:53.080 But that is a lot of black people doing that. 0.98

00:39:55.080 Yeah, but, like, we, you know, we're still in good... 0.93

00:39:57.480 This is what I've realized.

00:39:58.480 But we just don't like, like, white people just look at other white people

00:40:02.080 and go, that's just a person.

00:40:03.600 Mm-hmm.

00:40:04.660 We don't, you don't apply it to the whole...

00:40:06.000 We don't, but then we don't, but we don't, like, have a connection to them.

00:40:11.480 You know what I'm saying?

00:40:12.440 Whereas I feel like other races kind of, like, Filipinos see other Filipinos

00:40:15.880 and they're like, we don't have that.

00:40:18.680 You don't have that solidarity. 1.00

00:40:19.200 We just have to look at each other and be like, we're both evil pieces of shit, 1.00

00:40:22.460 and we should be shot, according to... 1.00

00:40:26.700 You know what, though? 0.96

00:40:27.600 You wouldn't have to feel that way if you guys would just give us reparations.

00:40:31.120 Because that's the biggest thing I have for reparations is that...

00:40:35.160 I don't think we feel guilty, but I'm just saying that we don't...

00:40:37.700 I think you could get rid of that feeling if you gave people reparations.

00:40:40.620 You'd be like, look, we gave you all your money. 1.00

00:40:42.360 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:40:43.340 And then that would be it. 1.00

00:40:44.220 No, I think we'd get that feeling if we did slavery again.

00:40:50.160 Then I could be like, yo, what's up, man?

00:40:51.940 Bring it back, though.

00:40:53.520 I've always said that white people would never deport us because they love us too much.

00:40:59.380 I think whites and blacks get along fine.

00:41:01.900 I think it's the other, you know, the mystery race.

00:41:07.480 That's what I think immigrants don't understand is that the racial conversation 0.99

00:41:11.380 is a conversation between black and white people.

00:41:14.060 And then anytime they try to...

00:41:16.300 The one that black people are having is between black people and white people. 1.00

00:41:20.300 The one white people are having is, who the fuck are these people? 1.00

00:41:24.020 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:24.420 Not blacks, but like... 0.98

00:41:25.520 It's these other people.

00:41:26.660 Yeah.

00:41:27.220 Because like, oh, we can't get into Harvard.

00:41:29.020 I'm like, that's not...

00:41:30.420 We don't care about that.

00:41:31.480 This is a black, white thing.

00:41:32.980 To me, Somalian's not black. 0.87

00:41:34.640 Somalian's not black. 0.99

00:41:35.660 Why?

00:41:35.980 Because they have a country? 0.96

00:41:37.080 Because they have a weird head. 0.98

00:41:38.260 It'd be so funny if you weren't a racist, but you're just a pure phrenologist.

00:41:45.140 You're just measuring skulls. 0.82

00:41:47.020 I am.

00:41:48.900 I'm not even racist.

00:41:50.260 I just...

00:41:51.100 I'm not racist in the sense of like, you know, as long as I smell okay.

00:41:57.980 Yeah.

00:41:58.620 That's what you... 0.95

00:41:59.600 It's a black guy walking over a Michael Jordan cologne. 0.82

00:42:03.600 You're like, I like that.

00:42:04.540 Yeah.

00:42:05.420 Yeah.

00:42:06.280 No, I don't think...

00:42:08.140 I think being racist is just what, like, default.

00:42:15.700 That's like everybody's default setting.

00:42:17.660 Yeah.

00:42:18.640 Because like, anybody can be racist.

00:42:20.620 You can be racist at any given time.

00:42:22.720 Yeah.

00:42:23.620 For any...

00:42:24.260 And sometimes it's more of just like a time kill.

00:42:27.140 Yeah.

00:42:27.800 I could agree with that.

00:42:28.660 You know what I mean?

00:42:29.280 Like, it's not even like a...

00:42:31.040 Like, you're on a plane for four hours.

00:42:32.720 You're like, what am I going to... 0.99

00:42:34.720 Look at this fucking... 1.00

00:42:35.720 And I mean, black people... 1.00

00:42:37.860 Come on. 0.99

00:42:38.380 Black people do that all the time. 1.00

00:42:39.620 They do it all the time. 0.99

00:42:40.000 They're on a plane and they're like, look at this white mother... 1.00

00:42:42.380 Some white guy snoring or something.

00:42:44.200 They're like...

00:42:44.540 Yeah.

00:42:45.540 But it's just every...

00:42:46.700 But the problem is that everybody's annoying.

00:42:49.760 Irregardless of race or anything.

00:42:51.420 Yeah.

00:42:51.620 It's just so easy just to be like you're annoying because of that.

00:42:54.680 Yeah.

00:42:55.200 But it's just...

00:42:55.660 We just all hate each other for...

00:42:57.800 That's what I kind of meant with the white thing where I'm like...

00:43:00.720 People... 0.71

00:43:01.080 Like, when I hate a white guy, it's just like, oh, yo, they're having beef. 0.94

00:43:04.400 But it's not... 0.98

00:43:04.840 But if they weren't white, then it's racial. 0.59

00:43:07.360 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:07.660 But it's like, I just hate people.

00:43:09.380 You know what I mean?

00:43:10.420 Yeah.

00:43:10.620 And I like people, too, because people who aren't retarded are fun. 1.00

00:43:14.140 Yeah.

00:43:14.720 You can hang out with them.

00:43:16.620 You can... 1.00

00:43:17.400 You can do cool shit with them. 0.99

00:43:18.520 You can talk about racist stuff. 0.99

00:43:20.560 That is the best part.

00:43:21.840 I have a friend named Zod Devji.

00:43:23.160 Great guy.

00:43:24.160 We talk about this all the time.

00:43:25.800 Me have...

00:43:26.200 We have a podcast...

00:43:26.760 We had a podcast guest with another guy named Trey Tutson, other black dude.

00:43:30.040 Zod is Indian. 0.78

00:43:31.580 And we say racism is amazing. 0.96

00:43:35.220 The people who ruined racism were racist.

00:43:38.680 Right.

00:43:39.260 If you have that...

00:43:40.740 Once you take it to...

00:43:41.600 Like, it's...

00:43:42.280 It's like the movie Rush Hour, where there is no plot to that movie other than, what if

00:43:46.180 a black guy knew a Chinese guy?

00:43:47.980 That is the whole point of that movie.

00:43:49.860 And it's funny because we all kind of know, like, oh, they're friends at the end of this.

00:43:53.900 There's this long friendship that happens at it.

00:43:55.860 You can't make that movie now because it's like nonstop stereotypes for two and a half hours.

00:44:00.240 And how racist me and Zod get with one another is funny because we all know, like, dude,

00:44:06.080 I would literally take a bullet for you. 0.97

00:44:07.640 You're going to be in my wedding. 1.00

00:44:08.560 Like, you're one of those kind of guys.

00:44:10.240 So if there was...

00:44:10.840 A burrit. 1.00

00:44:11.360 A bur... 1.00

00:44:12.080 I wouldn't...

00:44:16.080 See, that's the thing is, like, I would say that to, like, a friend.

00:44:19.220 Yeah.

00:44:19.340 But then, like, when push came to shove, I'd be like... 0.99

00:44:22.140 I'm going to take a bullet for you. 1.00

00:44:23.560 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:24.300 No, I... 1.00

00:44:25.060 Kill the brownie. 1.00

00:44:26.340 No, I know what you mean. 0.99

00:44:27.420 But yeah, obviously, the more you're willing to take a bullet for somebody, the more you

00:44:30.340 feel like you can make fun of them because you know they're not going to be pissed off.

00:44:33.400 But that's, like, another thing where it's like racism...

00:44:36.420 Getting rid of racist jokes makes racism so serious that then it becomes, like, an actual

00:44:41.760 thing.

00:44:42.720 Whereas I think it's, like, fun to joke about it because then it's, like, after, like, 0.98

00:44:46.120 the cathartic effect is, like, wow, I really don't even give a fuck at all. 0.98

00:44:50.040 Yeah. 0.97

00:44:50.220 It's all just funny.

00:44:51.260 And then you kind of just go on with our lives.

00:44:53.480 Which is the best...

00:44:54.320 I mean, which is what America is doing to an extent.

00:44:58.480 I mean, besides the Elon Trump thing, like, people have been checked out a little bit from

00:45:04.380 the news recently.

00:45:05.040 People have been.

00:45:05.660 People really don't give it. 0.99

00:45:07.200 People on the left, that's why we're losing because no one gives a fuck anymore. 0.99

00:45:12.080 Like, Trump is able to do a lot of shit that wouldn't have flown in 2012 or even 2015 or 1.00

00:45:17.300 16. 0.99

00:45:18.060 But I think people on the left are so burnt out because you all asked us to pretend

00:45:22.320 Hillary Clinton was cool, which is a really hard ask.

00:45:25.100 I mean, that was... 1.00

00:45:27.060 I'm as liberal as they come, but you're fucking asking me to pretend this fucking white lady 1.00

00:45:32.500 is cool? 1.00

00:45:33.160 Come on, dude.

00:45:33.820 Then you give me the oldest white guy ever who's, like, on film hanging out with a segregationist.

00:45:39.480 You're like, yeah, you got to vote for him instead of Bernie.

00:45:41.420 Sorry. 0.98

00:45:41.780 I'm like, dude, you guys are fucking killing me now. 0.99

00:45:44.560 Who's the segregationist? 0.99

00:45:46.380 Stormthroman or whatever.

00:45:47.280 He, like, spoke at his funeral. 0.99

00:45:48.200 Then they give us another black lady who's the worst. 1.00

00:45:52.020 I'm like, dude, what does she do? 0.99

00:45:53.860 She's clearly on Perks.

00:45:56.380 Kamala was on... 0.99

00:45:57.140 She was on Perks the whole fucking election, which is cool. 0.99

00:46:01.420 But this is really cool. 0.99

00:46:04.860 I'm like, dude, she has no policies or anything like that.

00:46:07.600 And I think people just gave up.

00:46:08.080 I think it was more that she wasn't nominated.

00:46:09.600 If she had actually been nominated properly through a primary, then people would have... 0.98

00:46:13.740 Yeah, no one was going to...

00:46:14.100 She would have been backed more. 0.64

00:46:15.600 I think so, too.

00:46:16.380 But the fact that, like, when they did that, she got voted out first. 0.99

00:46:19.640 It's fucked up. 0.97

00:46:20.680 Yeah, she got less than 2% of all the votes. 1.00

00:46:22.780 So stupid. 1.00

00:46:23.220 No one liked her. 1.00

00:46:24.740 Why not just do the second runner-up?

00:46:26.900 Yeah.

00:46:27.620 Just find another guy. 0.80

00:46:28.460 Let her take a break and just... 1.00

00:46:30.280 Bring her back next year.

00:46:31.600 Like, put her on some steroids or something. 0.76

00:46:33.600 Because now she's done forever.

00:46:34.800 She's done forever.

00:46:35.520 So she lost. 0.99

00:46:36.260 She's got that loser's stance to her. 1.00

00:46:37.820 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:38.440 Yeah.

00:46:38.900 She's just not fun. 1.00

00:46:41.080 She's not old enough.

00:46:42.380 That's why.

00:46:43.000 You need somebody to be fun.

00:46:43.800 We need an old... 0.58

00:46:45.320 I'm telling you, the first female president is going to be an old, mean Jewish lady. 1.00

00:46:50.260 She's going to be old as fuck. 1.00

00:46:52.820 89. 1.00

00:46:54.260 Ann Richards style. 0.69

00:46:55.680 White hair.

00:46:56.320 Linda McMahon haircut. 0.99

00:46:57.400 Yeah.

00:46:57.520 No, no, no.

00:46:58.600 Nancy can't do it. 1.00

00:46:59.520 She's too Italian. 1.00

00:47:02.260 That's her problem. 0.99

00:47:05.160 You ever see pictures of her when she was young?

00:47:07.080 Yeah, she was kind of hot. 1.00

00:47:08.000 Yeah.

00:47:08.500 Really hot.

00:47:09.200 So was Hillary Clinton.

00:47:10.000 Let's switch it up.

00:47:11.580 We got another video?

00:47:12.960 Yeah.

00:47:14.360 What time is it?

00:47:15.920 Yeah, we're doing it on time.

00:47:16.740 This is fun.

00:47:17.240 6.30.

00:47:17.840 We're at 48 minutes.

00:47:19.600 Yeah.

00:47:21.480 Yeah, let's...

00:47:22.880 I guess we'll change the vibe.

00:47:23.900 Let's see.

00:47:24.440 I feel not racist now.

00:47:28.720 I feel like I got it all out.

00:47:30.220 This is just...

00:47:30.900 Ooh, that's bad.

00:47:38.820 Jesus.

00:47:43.180 Me wondering why all the machines are broken.

00:47:46.220 Then post...

00:47:46.920 Wait, wait.

00:47:47.540 Just pause it.

00:47:48.300 Yeah.

00:47:48.500 Well, I mean, I just wanted the video...

00:47:50.020 It's kind of funny to watch this guy, like, pretend like this is such a big deal.

00:47:54.200 It's so funny that he cares that much.

00:47:55.820 There's a whole genre of men who are just mad at women online. 0.97

00:47:58.880 And I'm like, just jack off. 0.99

00:48:02.140 Stop. 0.99

00:48:03.560 These guys are semen retention. 0.96

00:48:05.340 They're just so mad, dude. 0.97

00:48:07.160 Let's see.

00:48:08.300 Yeah, what does he say?

00:48:09.120 This video, disrespecting gym equipment, dropping the weights, as if that's something to brag

00:48:14.220 about.

00:48:15.120 And the look on your face when you do it...

00:48:17.400 Yeah, you tell her, bro.

00:48:18.540 The only time it's okay to do this, to drop the weights, is if you're at risk for injury.

00:48:24.420 Yeah.

00:48:24.700 Which, obviously, she's not.

00:48:26.600 She is blatantly disrespecting the gym equipment. 1.00

00:48:29.840 Yeah.

00:48:31.140 Bro, he's...

00:48:32.040 This guy cares...

00:48:32.580 He's so mad. 0.99

00:48:33.400 He probably cares more about gym equipment than black people, right? 1.00

00:48:36.220 Definitely. 0.98

00:48:36.860 And women, for sure. 1.00

00:48:37.860 Oh, yeah.

00:48:39.020 There's no way she would have, like, just casually put down tins and be like, what a

00:48:43.040 nice, kind lady. 0.96

00:48:44.000 I mean, she kind of looks trans. 0.98

00:48:45.400 She's jacked, right? 0.99

00:48:47.440 Because she's so jacked? 1.00

00:48:48.960 Well, go back to, like, her ass was there for a second. 1.00

00:48:51.820 It just looked like a... 0.99

00:48:52.660 Yeah, that doesn't... 1.00

00:48:53.580 That looks like a dude's ass. 1.00

00:48:55.160 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:56.260 That's what happens. 1.00

00:48:57.140 If you're a white girl and you have no ass and you start working out too much, you just 1.00

00:49:00.660 get a boy ass like that. 1.00

00:49:02.200 That's why just... 1.00

00:49:03.240 You got to stay in your element, dude.

00:49:05.320 Like, that's why you see black girls and they try to get the white girl hair in the 1.00

00:49:08.240 It just looks... 0.54

00:49:09.060 Stop.

00:49:10.360 I know.

00:49:10.860 Get dredged.

00:49:11.540 I like the... 0.99

00:49:12.020 That's not our shit. 1.00

00:49:12.940 I like black girl hair. 1.00

00:49:15.120 Yeah.

00:49:15.500 It's nice hair.

00:49:16.680 Don't try to white girl your hair. 0.99

00:49:17.900 The same white white girl. 1.00

00:49:18.680 Don't try to black girl your booty. 1.00

00:49:19.840 You can't do it. 0.99

00:49:20.900 Look at that.

00:49:21.440 That's bad.

00:49:21.780 I like white girl hair too, but on white girls. 1.00

00:49:23.960 Yeah.

00:49:24.800 But if...

00:49:25.300 But like...

00:49:26.800 There's nothing wrong with the bald.

00:49:29.340 Nothing wrong with the bald.

00:49:30.480 Eve was... 0.90

00:49:31.120 Dude, I think that was one of my first crushes.

00:49:32.780 But it's crazy to wear like...

00:49:34.600 Like a thing where it almost looks like a...

00:49:36.940 Like chicken wire.

00:49:39.200 The wig?

00:49:41.280 Well, it's like a wig, but it's like trying not to be a wig.

00:49:43.700 Yeah.

00:49:43.940 They like put like chicken wire down first and then there's the...

00:49:46.700 It's like what's the...

00:49:47.820 Nobody cares.

00:49:49.500 Get your hair out. 1.00

00:49:50.320 They're going to fuck you either way. 1.00

00:49:52.180 Yes. 1.00

00:49:52.800 Once you realize that whoever was going to fuck you was going to fuck you no matter what. 1.00

00:49:56.560 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:56.800 Like, oh, I only fuck girls with wigs on. 1.00

00:49:59.380 You do? 1.00

00:49:59.900 No, I'm saying like...

00:50:01.020 Who says that?

00:50:02.480 No.

00:50:02.860 You do that?

00:50:04.680 Yeah.

00:50:05.160 I'm actually Orthodox Jewish.

00:50:09.220 Do you see that one thing where there's a little Orthodox Jewish girl and then she walks

00:50:13.860 up to this black guy and he's like, man, I'm sorry they did that to you because 0.99

00:50:16.940 her hair is like all fucked up? 0.99

00:50:18.700 No. 0.99

00:50:19.260 Can we pull that up?

00:50:20.360 Oh, man.

00:50:20.800 It's so funny.

00:50:21.700 I think your Mac's about to die, dude.

00:50:22.840 You might want to plug it in.

00:50:25.780 Do you have to unplug your Mac because it starts electrocuting you?

00:50:28.700 Mine's been doing that.

00:50:31.200 That's probably not good, right?

00:50:32.640 Let me see if I can find... 1.00

00:50:35.640 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:50:37.960 The entire podcast is lost. 0.99

00:50:39.840 What is the video of the Orthodox girl?

00:50:47.800 It's the Orthodox Jewish.

00:50:48.820 She's like four years old.

00:50:50.260 They're in a playground.

00:50:51.500 She loses her ball, walks up to this black guy and he goes, hey, man, I'm sorry they 1.00

00:50:55.120 did that to you. 1.00

00:50:56.140 That's some fucked up shit. 1.00

00:50:57.160 They shouldn't have did that shit to you at all. 1.00

00:50:59.040 Like, good luck if you can find it. 1.00

00:51:08.320 Here it is.

00:51:09.780 There it is.

00:51:11.420 That'd be so funny.

00:51:12.200 Oh, is it this one?

00:51:17.160 Taylor, I'm going to send it to you on Instagram.

00:51:18.740 Can I do that?

00:51:19.480 Yeah.

00:51:19.880 Yeah.

00:51:20.600 You have it?

00:51:21.240 I think I do because my friend Eddie sends me a thousand reels a day.

00:51:25.920 Shout out to Eddie.

00:51:27.060 Oh, there it is.

00:51:27.860 Is this it?

00:51:28.680 Yes, that's it.

00:51:29.420 Is it it?

00:51:29.820 Yes.

00:51:30.060 Okay, cool.

00:51:31.440 I have seen this.

00:51:33.380 Dude, this is so funny.

00:51:34.620 No.

00:51:35.100 That's not it. 1.00

00:51:36.120 They fucking... 1.00

00:51:38.400 They tricked us. 1.00

00:51:39.540 Was it?

00:51:40.560 Those people. 1.00

00:51:42.520 Fucking Jews. 1.00

00:51:44.200 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:46.360 It's probably in a montage.

00:51:52.460 These are the funniest.

00:51:53.400 That's it.

00:51:53.760 That's it.

00:51:54.060 That's at the top.

00:51:54.820 Yeah.

00:51:55.740 This one?

00:51:56.440 I think so.

00:51:56.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:51:58.440 Oh, you apologized.

00:51:59.720 Good.

00:52:00.220 Good.

00:52:01.220 Send them to Israel. 1.00

00:52:02.080 Send them to Auschwitz. 0.97

00:52:02.380 It's disturbing to watch. 0.77

00:52:04.100 I'll be crying if I look like that too, bro.

00:52:05.980 That's what they be doing to y'all.

00:52:07.800 A young Hasidic Jewish boy is... 1.00

00:52:09.980 That's fucking what they be doing to y'all. 1.00

00:52:16.840 A young Hasidic Jewish boy look like that too, bro. 1.00

00:52:19.080 That's fucking much. 1.00

00:52:20.100 I'll be crying if I look like that too, bro. 1.00

00:52:22.060 That's fucking what they be doing to y'all. 1.00

00:52:23.820 A young Hasidic... 1.00

00:52:24.640 It's funny that they caption it, like, to you.

00:52:29.580 Like, they don't, like, put to y'all.

00:52:31.440 Yeah.

00:52:32.340 Because they're like, well, we have white people watching tonight.

00:52:34.640 We want to explain what he's saying properly.

00:52:37.240 It's like, bro.

00:52:38.180 I ran into a real... 1.00

00:52:40.060 It is a thing that happens sometimes, is that, like, racist shit happens. 0.99

00:52:43.260 It's racist, but only I know it's racist, but I work in an environment where it's only white people. 0.99

00:52:48.180 And so if I say anything, I sound crazy because I don't have nobody to back me up on it.

00:52:52.600 So I sound like a conspiracy theorist.

00:52:54.000 But I used to do these...

00:52:56.660 I do these things, and I represent doctors a lot in the practice that I work in.

00:53:02.460 And nurses will write down, like, what the patient said to them.

00:53:08.440 And I feel like a lot of these nurses, when it's a white patient, they'll write perfect English.

00:53:12.820 But when it's a black patient, they'll be like, and she's bees wondering who's chickened. 1.00

00:53:17.280 I'm like, that's not how they talk. 1.00

00:53:19.220 That's not how that fucking person talks. 1.00

00:53:20.920 Stop doing that. 1.00

00:53:21.600 Do you think the nurse is white or black?

00:53:22.900 Yeah, they're white.

00:53:23.760 I feel like any time I'd be a white nurse, she always started writing in AAV. 0.99

00:53:27.200 I'm like, that's not how they fucking talk. 0.99

00:53:28.720 That's fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:53:29.260 Stop fucking doing that. 1.00

00:53:30.760 But I can't say that. 0.99

00:53:32.120 And there's no, like, what are they going to do? 1.00

00:53:33.540 You want me to go find them and say, hey, stop being racist when you transcribe your shit? 1.00

00:53:36.860 Probably a funny nurse. 1.00

00:53:41.540 Just fucking writing in the notes. 1.00

00:53:43.320 Shit, I don't feel that good. 1.00

00:53:45.620 I mean, I would do that. 0.99

00:53:46.720 Y'all stay cool out there today, boys. 0.98

00:53:49.760 It's possible it's a black nurse when she's... 0.99

00:53:52.220 No, I wouldn't know the race. 0.53

00:53:53.760 I would immediately look up the race.

00:53:54.600 By the handwriting?

00:53:55.720 No, because they're clients.

00:53:57.620 Oh.

00:53:57.940 Yeah.

00:53:58.500 I immediately look up the race.

00:54:00.480 Before I take on any client, I'm like...

00:54:02.760 I thought you said, but the pro bono, you don't know any of the race.

00:54:05.660 No, you don't know that.

00:54:06.400 I would never do that kind of stuff.

00:54:07.580 But you can guess.

00:54:08.440 Yeah.

00:54:08.720 You're like, yeah.

00:54:09.780 By the crime.

00:54:10.920 By the name.

00:54:11.840 Yeah.

00:54:13.160 The Chauvin-E Williams.

00:54:15.780 Aquarius.

00:54:16.940 That's a great name.

00:54:18.020 Isn't that your...

00:54:18.600 What's your middle name?

00:54:20.980 Latrevious.

00:54:21.720 Latrevious.

00:54:22.180 Yeah.

00:54:22.500 That's a good...

00:54:22.900 Is that real?

00:54:23.460 It's a good ghetto middle name. 1.00

00:54:24.740 Is it real?

00:54:25.380 Yeah, it's real.

00:54:26.060 That's your real middle name?

00:54:26.880 I love a good ghetto name, dude.

00:54:29.620 I like Latrevious.

00:54:30.800 Latrevious is a solid one.

00:54:32.240 Let's see another one.

00:54:33.060 Tremaine.

00:54:33.720 That's killer.

00:54:34.420 Jermaine?

00:54:35.040 Tremaine with a T.

00:54:35.800 Oh, Tremaine.

00:54:36.920 Yeah.

00:54:37.460 Wow.

00:54:38.880 We've got another one.

00:54:40.460 Davion?

00:54:41.200 Davion is so good.

00:54:42.660 Davion.

00:54:43.300 That sounds like a water brand.

00:54:44.720 It does.

00:54:46.500 Wow.

00:54:46.900 That's good. 1.00

00:54:48.060 Fuck, I'm thirsty. 1.00

00:54:49.380 Do you have any Davion in the fridge? 1.00

00:54:53.100 Who's got a good one in the NFL right now?

00:54:56.380 Jeru Holiday, and his name is just Drew.

00:54:58.800 That's insane.

00:54:59.840 Jeru?

00:55:00.480 Yeah.

00:55:01.140 Is it like J-E-R-U? 1.00

00:55:02.760 It's J-R-U-E. 1.00

00:55:05.840 Jeru Holiday.

00:55:06.700 And it's Drew Holiday.

00:55:08.300 That's crazy.

00:55:10.880 Yeah.

00:55:11.800 Type in top 10 black baby names.

00:55:16.880 Timothy Chalamet is the most ghetto name, I think.

00:55:19.200 Really?

00:55:19.800 Timothy Chalamet with those extra E's.

00:55:22.460 Is one word?

00:55:23.880 Timothy.

00:55:24.280 Yeah, it's Timothy, one word, and then Chalamet is his last name.

00:55:28.420 I'm just seeing if there's something on there.

00:55:30.180 Oh, I saw one called Dacoltis.

00:55:31.380 That was his name?

00:55:32.200 Do you see that one?

00:55:32.940 No.

00:55:33.480 The Colvin.

00:55:36.840 Let's see.

00:55:37.900 Drake.

00:55:39.220 Drake is good. 0.98

00:55:40.240 I think the white guys are killing it now. 0.98

00:55:42.180 Bo, Brock. 0.99

00:55:43.240 Dallas.

00:55:43.700 Hey, let me get it with no team names.

00:55:45.200 Yeah.

00:55:45.680 Say only black. 0.99

00:55:49.040 Oh, dude, we're falling off. 0.99

00:55:50.380 Yeah.

00:55:50.840 Quinyon is the only one.

00:55:52.080 Dacoltius.

00:55:53.680 Terrian.

00:55:54.100 That's not that good.

00:55:55.660 Quinyon.

00:55:57.420 Yeah, these aren't that good, dude.

00:55:58.920 Two Xaviers, though.

00:55:59.900 That's wild.

00:56:01.320 Laoshu?

00:56:02.120 Laotu?

00:56:02.640 Yeah, that's one of those island names.

00:56:04.840 It's like a Hawaiian?

00:56:06.320 Yeah, something like that.

00:56:07.300 New York.

00:56:07.920 Oh, no, I thought that was his name.

00:56:10.220 Malik. 0.76

00:56:11.580 Just ask what top 10 black baby names for 2021.

00:56:18.120 Yeah.

00:56:19.840 Say black baby names, because then otherwise they don't think you're being racist.

00:56:25.580 Let's see what it says. 0.78

00:56:27.100 Black baby names.

00:56:28.260 Deshaun.

00:56:30.560 Omari is good.

00:56:32.100 Zaire is great.

00:56:34.220 Travion.

00:56:35.260 Zaire is perfect. 0.89

00:56:36.320 I don't know my kid's name.

00:56:37.100 DeAndre is a classic.

00:56:38.220 DeAndre is a classic.

00:56:39.200 Kareem.

00:56:39.600 Kareem is, yeah.

00:56:40.300 That's awesome, too.

00:56:41.220 Nasir is great, too.

00:56:42.720 Muslim names are great.

00:56:44.660 The girl names are a little tough, because, like, Aaliyah, perfect, right?

00:56:49.140 Jasmine with a Z, amazing.

00:56:52.020 Kiara is amazing.

00:56:52.940 I've never met a girl named Kiara that wasn't the most beautiful woman ever.

00:56:57.940 But there are some red flags in there, you know?

00:57:00.600 Brielle.

00:57:01.940 That's kind of white, Brielle. 0.94

00:57:04.780 Shaniqua's crazy. 0.55

00:57:05.920 I don't even think, I've never met an actual Shaniqua in my town. 0.97

00:57:08.560 Type in white baby. 0.70

00:57:09.760 It's the Karen for, like, her black man. 0.98

00:57:10.980 It's the Karen for black, yeah. 0.99

00:57:12.920 It's like, I need to make fun of a black woman. 1.00

00:57:14.640 I'm going to say the word Shaniqua. 1.00

00:57:15.900 I had a Shaniqua in my, uh, she was a track star in my grade school.

00:57:19.380 Word?

00:57:19.900 Yeah.

00:57:21.040 She was white.

00:57:21.980 You want to watch this video, Ben?

00:57:23.720 Oh, yeah.

00:57:24.060 Oh, yeah.

00:57:24.260 Let's watch the last one, yeah.

00:57:25.400 Who's that?

00:57:25.800 Some people, but not me. 0.99

00:57:27.980 When you're younger in your 20s, like, who the fuck wants to get married and settle down? 0.99

00:57:31.420 Yeah. 0.99

00:57:31.540 Some people, but not me at that point.

00:57:33.120 Yeah.

00:57:33.220 I was like, I want to feel the thrill.

00:57:34.940 I want to be getting my head bashed in the mattress. 1.00

00:57:37.800 Type shit. 1.00

00:57:37.820 I want to be getting flipped upside down. 1.00

00:57:39.280 And then I want to be getting ghosted the next day. 0.93

00:57:41.200 I want to have my heart ripped out of my chest.

00:57:42.860 And I want to do it all over again.

00:57:44.680 And then some.

00:57:45.940 And then when you get a little older, you're kind of like, I literally don't have time.

00:57:50.220 Yeah.

00:57:51.000 This is what I mean by, like, y'all have lost control of your women. 0.68

00:57:53.260 That's crazy.

00:57:54.160 Yeah.

00:57:54.760 That's what I mean.

00:57:55.280 Like, I date white girls now because I didn't have to do that when I was in Houston. 1.00

00:57:59.160 And I date white girls now. 1.00

00:58:00.220 And I don't know how y'all deal with that shit. 1.00

00:58:02.820 What's happening? 1.00

00:58:03.920 I don't know how y'all date white women like this. 1.00

00:58:06.600 Like, I've dated three white girls since I've been in Austin. 1.00

00:58:10.380 And they're, like, I think they're clinically insane. 0.99

00:58:14.700 Yeah. 0.98

00:58:15.060 Well, obviously.

00:58:16.880 But what are they, like, an example? 0.98

00:58:20.200 I think some of them are, like, sociopaths. 0.77

00:58:23.900 You know what it is? 0.95

00:58:24.520 They're all in therapy.

00:58:25.660 But they're getting therapy from white women therapists. 1.00

00:58:29.260 And I don't think white girls should have white girl therapists. 1.00

00:58:31.520 Because, like, you can't get sick. 0.97

00:58:33.560 You can't get healthy in the same thing that made you sick. 1.00

00:58:36.200 And they're all fucked up because their moms are fucked up. 1.00

00:58:38.640 Right? 1.00

00:58:38.980 So they get, it's a feedback loop of craziness. 1.00

00:58:41.760 I can't deal with this shit. 1.00

00:58:43.560 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:43.680 Yeah, it's, uh, how old?

00:58:46.180 That sounds like a young.

00:58:47.380 It sounds like a young.

00:58:48.240 Nah, bro.

00:58:48.780 It's 30s.

00:58:50.200 30s?

00:58:50.840 20s?

00:58:51.540 I've controlled.

00:58:53.120 But I think I just need to find higher quality whites. 1.00

00:58:56.440 Pussy's fire, though, no? 1.00

00:58:57.980 It's all right. 1.00

00:58:59.640 It's available, bro. 1.00

00:59:01.400 Is it Houston black pussy's better? 1.00

00:59:03.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:04.240 100%. 1.00

00:59:04.800 Fuck. 1.00

00:59:05.740 Ship it out here. 1.00

00:59:06.920 Yeah, I don't want to.

00:59:08.060 Traffic it out.

00:59:12.320 Three hours. 1.00

00:59:14.780 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:59:15.960 Would you go to a Diddy Freak Off? 1.00

00:59:19.100 Uh, now?

00:59:21.840 No, not now.

00:59:22.680 I'm just saying, like, if you was in L.A., I'm 25.

00:59:25.660 Peak Diddy.

00:59:26.300 Yeah, Peak Diddy.

00:59:26.920 Of course.

00:59:27.860 That's the thing.

00:59:28.440 I think everyone, because it was Diddy.

00:59:29.780 We didn't know he was a freak then.

00:59:31.700 You probably wouldn't even know it was his party.

00:59:33.660 Somebody would just be like a big celebrity.

00:59:35.480 Let's go.

00:59:36.180 And then you'd get there. 0.99

00:59:37.220 And then it'd be like, oh, shit, it's Diddy's party. 0.97

00:59:38.560 I will tell you, I opened for a comic, like, a year or two ago. 0.99

00:59:42.080 A year ago.

00:59:43.160 And this is before any allegations with Diddy came out.

00:59:46.300 I opened for him, featured for him.

00:59:48.080 He said, hey, man, look, I just want you to know.

00:59:49.900 Find out who it is.

00:59:52.340 He goes, hey, man, I want you to know, bro, I can see you going real far in this business,

00:59:55.960 man.

00:59:56.140 Like, I think you're really funny.

00:59:57.640 I just want you to know that, like, when you move to L.A., don't go hang out with Diddy.

01:00:02.120 I was like, what?

01:00:02.940 He goes, don't.

01:00:04.080 Don't. 1.00

01:00:04.440 He's going to invite you to the house, and you're going to see some shit you wish you'd never seen. 0.99

01:00:07.520 I was like, what? 0.99

01:00:09.660 He goes, I got to go on stage now. 0.99

01:00:12.360 It's like, that's the craziest shit that ever happened. 0.98

01:00:15.460 And then literally, like, two, three months later, I told my girl about it, because I 0.99

01:00:18.460 had a girlfriend at the time.

01:00:19.160 I was like, he told me, don't hang out with P. Diddy.

01:00:20.760 I was like, why would I do that?

01:00:22.100 Two months later, that's when I was like, Diddy was beating Cassie with a flip-flop in

01:00:25.420 the hallway. 1.00

01:00:25.820 I was like, oh, shit. 0.99

01:00:27.940 That's like nothing compared to what he's actually doing. 1.00

01:00:31.440 But that's crazy.

01:00:32.780 He tried to kill Kid Cudi.

01:00:35.020 Did he actually?

01:00:35.700 I thought he just opened his Christmas presents.

01:00:37.580 Bro, that's insane.

01:00:38.820 That's still insane.

01:00:40.480 Would you do that?

01:00:41.420 Would I?

01:00:41.920 If a girl cheated on me? 1.00

01:00:43.140 Is that why he did it?

01:00:44.260 No, because they broke up, and then she started dating Kid Cudi, and he was like, I'm about

01:00:47.940 to go open this nigga a Christmas present. 1.00

01:00:49.720 God damn. 1.00

01:00:50.260 And he went over there and, like, scared his dog and shit. 1.00

01:00:53.480 That kind of makes me like him. 0.99

01:00:55.600 Why? 0.95

01:00:55.980 Because Kid Cudi's kind of gay. 0.92

01:00:58.580 A little bit. 0.93

01:00:59.100 He's just like, oh, Diddy, get out.

01:01:03.080 No, he was chill about it, though.

01:01:04.260 He was like, yeah, Diddy was smoking a cigarette outside. 1.00

01:01:07.100 Yeah, Diddy was fucking. 0.99

01:01:09.640 He's humming. 0.99

01:01:10.200 No, I liked Kid Cudi.

01:01:11.620 Yeah.

01:01:13.520 Like, can you please say yes or no when I ask you a question?

01:01:15.920 Hmm. 1.00

01:01:19.820 The whole jury's nodding to it, like, fuck you. 1.00

01:01:21.980 Day and night. 1.00

01:01:29.100 God.

01:01:30.020 Yeah, but Diddy stuff, like, people are just acting like this is all so surprising.

01:01:35.820 It's not very surprising.

01:01:37.120 Yeah, it's not.

01:01:37.440 I have a bit about this where it's like, you know, is it bad that I watched the Chris Rock,

01:01:43.540 Chris, Chris Rock, the Chris Brown documentary, and I, you know, the abuse documentary, and I

01:01:50.480 just feel like it was all the women's fault. 1.00

01:01:53.700 Like, is that bad?

01:01:55.480 Because it's like.

01:01:56.480 Bro, how?

01:01:57.900 Keep going, keep going.

01:01:58.740 I want to hear it.

01:01:59.120 Well, you know, the story will be like, oh, you know, some girl, some woman will be like, 1.00

01:02:03.720 I was invited to a party with Chris Brown, and they told us to not bring our cell phones

01:02:08.620 in and put them in this bag, and I didn't, and I took it in, and I took a picture of him,

01:02:12.280 and he saw me do it, and then he punched me in the face.

01:02:14.100 He's like, whoa. 1.00

01:02:16.200 The fuck? 1.00

01:02:17.040 You're like, I wouldn't have handled it that way. 1.00

01:02:18.780 Yeah, well.

01:02:20.480 She's lucky she got off with her son.

01:02:23.260 Jesus.

01:02:23.580 But, well, no, but I mean, but that's like a woman thing where it's like the no fear. 1.00

01:02:28.800 Like, as a guy, if you're going into like.

01:02:30.960 Yeah, no.

01:02:31.620 Some.

01:02:32.260 No.

01:02:33.440 Party where, you know, with a high up person, they were like, yo, no phones, put them in the

01:02:36.960 thing, and you didn't, and then you, you know, you'd be expected to get punched in the face.

01:02:40.880 Yeah, that is, that is fair, but that's also.

01:02:44.080 But it's also, I'm trying to be funny.

01:02:45.280 Like, I don't fully agree with it, but it is, there is something there.

01:02:48.020 Like, but then also that, like, you know, there's another woman who's like, oh, I was, 0.99

01:02:51.540 you know, I fucking Chris Brown raped me. 1.00

01:02:55.940 Jesus. 1.00

01:02:56.220 And, and all I was trying to do was go to L.A. to become a dancer.

01:03:00.520 I'm like, well, what'd you think was going to happen?

01:03:05.500 You know, I mean, but seriously, like, I'm going to L.A. to become a background dancer 0.99

01:03:09.500 in fucking rap music videos. 0.99

01:03:11.280 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:03:11.580 How'd I get raped? 0.98

01:03:13.200 Like, that's. 0.99

01:03:15.540 That's insane.

01:03:17.240 I know, but it does get a laugh.

01:03:18.700 I was graped.

01:03:20.080 I hate that people say graped so much now.

01:03:22.840 You have no idea how much I hate it.

01:03:24.800 Who says that?

01:03:25.720 It's like on TikTok.

01:03:28.280 People will be having serious conversations.

01:03:30.420 And they grape me.

01:03:31.420 It's like the unalive thing.

01:03:32.920 Yeah.

01:03:33.180 I'm like, I can't take you seriously.

01:03:35.640 You're an adult. 0.99

01:03:36.280 Women are just obsessed with this, uh, with being raped. 1.00

01:03:41.800 What? 0.99

01:03:43.460 It's all they did. 0.98

01:03:44.760 Rape and the abortion. 0.64

01:03:46.520 Like, all they talk about is, like, the worst things of all time. 0.99

01:03:51.960 They're just like, rape, abortion. 1.00

01:03:53.720 Hello. 1.00

01:03:55.320 I sucked a million cocks, but I was raped. 1.00

01:03:58.560 Shut up. 1.00

01:04:00.440 Fucking whore. 1.00

01:04:01.320 Dude, have you seen the most iconic tweet of all time? 1.00

01:04:08.760 It's, uh, this guy who says, it's a white woman humor.

01:04:13.260 Google, I want him to read this.

01:04:14.900 Is it white woman humor tweet meme?

01:04:18.760 Uh, you may have to do it on Google.

01:04:26.160 It's a guy named Grisham.

01:04:28.420 Let's see if we can find it.

01:04:29.760 Nah, do it on Google.

01:04:32.220 You'll find it real easy.

01:04:33.240 Just type in white, white woman humor. 1.00

01:04:37.500 And I wanted to see if you agree with it.

01:04:39.600 Yeah, that one.

01:04:40.320 Top one.

01:04:41.040 Yes.

01:04:41.780 I do feel like this is a lot of stand-up comedy.

01:04:46.400 This guy took, white woman humor would be like, 1.00

01:04:48.500 this guy took a shit and didn't wipe his ass after, 1.00

01:04:51.440 and he came inside of me, and that's it. 1.00

01:04:54.460 That'd be the entire show.

01:04:56.380 Is that not most of what their sets are sometimes? 0.98

01:04:59.760 They're like, I fucked a guy, and he didn't have a bed, 0.98

01:05:02.440 and then I had to take plan B, and now I'm yeasty, 0.99

01:05:06.120 and I'm like, where's the joke?

01:05:08.300 What's funny about that?

01:05:09.500 Stop doing that.

01:05:10.420 That's so gross. 0.89

01:05:11.000 You're 29. 0.95

01:05:12.400 You don't have to do that anymore.

01:05:13.580 But it's like that video that we just watched of the girl being like, 1.00

01:05:17.100 that I fucking wanted to be robbed when she's got that big dick sucker mouth. 1.00

01:05:22.920 It's just like, it's like, shut that fucking trap, bitch. 1.00

01:05:26.600 That's about to go to a fucking mosque. 1.00

01:05:29.100 Shut that fucking, thank you. 1.00

01:05:30.500 I don't need to hear that. 1.00

01:05:31.060 Seriously, yeah.

01:05:31.940 I'm praying right now.

01:05:32.800 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:33.520 Put a fucking hijab on. 1.00

01:05:36.200 Close the mouth. 1.00

01:05:37.760 I love when the song is like, we don't let our women talk like that. 1.00

01:05:40.420 We put them on.

01:05:41.100 That's such a funny joke, man.

01:05:42.580 Yeah, sometimes I feel like it's.

01:05:48.240 Are you into red pill stuff?

01:05:51.220 I feel like I was.

01:05:52.280 I mean, during COVID, I fully lost my mind, but also like I was trapped inside. 0.96

01:05:56.060 But I was also like, yo, I wasn't cool with like a lot of the shit was going on. 0.98

01:05:59.860 Yeah. 0.98

01:06:00.840 And then I feel like, you know, with Trump, like I felt like I didn't want the Democrats to come in.

01:06:08.920 Like, it's almost like you could.

01:06:09.880 It's like, oh, you switch sides, this, that, or like, not me, but in general, a lot of people do.

01:06:14.880 And it's like, well, yeah, because sometimes this, at this moment in time, it's better to be a Republican or vote that way.

01:06:22.500 Not be one, but you can vote for somebody and not be it.

01:06:25.640 You know what I mean?

01:06:26.700 And then sometimes it's better to be Democrat. 1.00

01:06:30.040 I didn't think Kamala was, I thought she was going to, she was going to go too hard against the censorship and too much shit. 1.00

01:06:36.400 And then Trump winning, now the Democrats have realized, okay, we can't win on that. 0.99

01:06:42.880 Like, we can't just be, so like maybe, and then they'll come back and they'll be like, okay, legalize weed and say whatever you want.

01:06:48.740 And sorry. 0.99

01:06:49.620 And fucking two, you know, two genders. 1.00

01:06:52.180 I mean, you can be trans, but it's not going to be on your passport. 1.00

01:06:54.580 Sorry.

01:06:54.840 And then everybody will be like, that's the more, the better idea to vote for, right?

01:07:01.940 Because like, the only way people win is having the people in the middle who don't really care, but are kind of steering the ship. 1.00

01:07:09.620 Be like, okay, well, fuck, I'm going to vote for Trump because of this shit. 1.00

01:07:13.140 Or I'm going to vote for whoever because of it. 1.00

01:07:15.760 So I don't know.

01:07:17.000 I don't know what is red-pilled anymore.

01:07:19.100 It's like, bro, go down the rabbit hole and find out, and it was this, and it was, it's like, it's, I almost don't want to.

01:07:25.500 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:26.000 You don't want to find out more shit. 0.99

01:07:27.620 Like, it's like, I already know what it is. 1.00

01:07:29.740 Like, the Jews and the whites and the fucking rich people, all the rich people basically are controlling everything. 0.99

01:07:36.960 Well, we kind of knew that. 1.00

01:07:38.440 Yeah. 0.80

01:07:38.580 It's like, it's like a whole, what's the word, where it's like, it's like a lot of, it's a lot of bullshit to just figure out what we've always known since I was probably like 10 years old. 0.68

01:07:48.520 Like, yeah, rich people control the world. 0.98

01:07:50.340 Whoa, whoop-de-doo.

01:07:51.480 That'd be so funny, imagine him at 10 and be like, yeah, Jews did this, for sure, definitely. 1.00

01:07:58.740 That's a Jewish cloud. 1.00

01:08:00.160 He's learning about the clouds.

01:08:02.160 Yeah.

01:08:02.380 No, I guess Jews, I don't know how much bad stuff, like, it's, it's just easy to, to do it because it's a funny word. 1.00

01:08:10.420 Everybody, anybody who's rich is doing bad stuff.

01:08:12.960 Yeah.

01:08:13.500 Because that's how you get rich.

01:08:15.300 That's how you get that rich.

01:08:16.440 You don't get that rich by, by, on accident. 1.00

01:08:19.760 There's, there's billionaires in Africa that are doing fucked up shit. 1.00

01:08:22.920 There's billionaires in China. 1.00

01:08:24.360 Yeah.

01:08:24.580 India. 1.00

01:08:25.200 And they're doing fucked up shit. 1.00

01:08:26.860 Every country. 1.00

01:08:27.600 And they're, they all know each other and they're all like, yo, why don't you guys do this?

01:08:31.340 So then we'll make a bit of a thing and then you do that and all the, it's all.

01:08:35.880 What's your most left-leaning belief?

01:08:38.480 Like your most leftist.

01:08:39.700 Probably that like, you should have legal weed, the legal.

01:08:44.460 Really?

01:08:44.860 That's it?

01:08:46.240 Legal.

01:08:47.400 Like, I think abortion should be legal.

01:08:50.060 I don't think, I think that it should be shame.

01:08:52.580 Like we could, I don't think it should be like a protected speech thing where it's like, don't make fun of that. 0.97

01:08:57.300 It's like, I think women who do it should have some form of shame unless obviously it's like a medical procedure or fucking, what if she was raped? 0.99

01:09:06.160 Oh, well, then she should definitely have the kid. 1.00

01:09:09.500 But, no, but I'm, I'm joking.

01:09:11.420 But I mean, like, yeah, I think it should be legal.

01:09:13.240 I think that, like, what are, you know.

01:09:14.920 My most leftist belief is. 1.00

01:09:16.140 Porn, hookers, whatever. 1.00

01:09:18.140 My most leftist belief is there should be a maximum salary. 0.99

01:09:21.160 Like, you should only, you should only be able to have $3 billion.

01:09:27.100 And then once you, yeah, once you get to $3 billion, if you, you get a certificate that says congrats, you won capitalism, and then we take 100% of your money and spread it out. 0.98

01:09:36.940 If you try to circumvent that, then we kill you. 0.93

01:09:42.080 But that's just communism. 0.99

01:09:43.540 Yeah, it is.

01:09:44.560 But you get to be a billionaire.

01:09:46.240 There can be multiple billionaires.

01:09:48.680 Yeah, but.

01:09:49.140 Have at it.

01:09:49.560 Yeah, but.

01:09:50.860 You don't need $10 billion.

01:09:52.380 That has a ripple effect.

01:09:53.860 Good.

01:09:55.000 Of people not wanting to be billionaires.

01:09:57.480 Good.

01:09:58.200 No. 1.00

01:09:58.820 Because we just said you only get that kind of money if you're doing evil shit. 1.00

01:10:01.860 I'm not saying you only get it if you do evil shit. 0.99

01:10:03.940 I'm saying once you get it, you are now just have more control. 0.99

01:10:07.620 You want to have a freak off.

01:10:08.760 I say evil, but what I really mean is just control.

01:10:11.340 Yeah.

01:10:11.940 Not everybody's doing freak off.

01:10:13.340 Some of them are doing other stuff. 0.98

01:10:14.860 But, like, who gives a shit if they want to freak off? 0.99

01:10:16.680 Like, if it's consensual or whatever, like, who gives a fuck? 0.99

01:10:20.380 I want to have a freak off, but just like me and the homies. 1.00

01:10:23.920 And we're not having sex. 0.95

01:10:25.060 We're just kind of, like, chilling.

01:10:26.560 I think that billionaires should.

01:10:29.640 A geek off?

01:10:30.420 Maybe be taxed a little bit more.

01:10:32.260 But I don't think.

01:10:32.880 I think it's good to have billionaires be billionaires.

01:10:38.200 Maybe trillionaires.

01:10:39.200 Maybe, what's that, 999 billion?

01:10:44.300 That's a lot.

01:10:45.620 That's a lot of money.

01:10:46.660 I think if you get too much money, we have to take it from you.

01:10:50.380 It's a public health hazard at that point.

01:10:53.180 But then those people are going to hire their own armies and, you know what I mean?

01:10:59.560 That's all you got.

01:11:00.080 You got to nip that in the bud.

01:11:01.420 Like, once you get to, like, oh, I want to fly a rocket into space.

01:11:05.520 I want to see what's on Mars.

01:11:06.700 I got that kind of money.

01:11:07.720 Like, no, we got to.

01:11:09.440 Come here, man.

01:11:11.460 Stand right here.

01:11:12.480 Yeah.

01:11:13.480 You know, you're not wrong about it being disgusting and a lot, but also.

01:11:18.960 I'll tell you my most Republican belief next, which is that I don't think more.

01:11:23.280 I do think more people should be in jail.

01:11:26.800 That's my most Republican belief.

01:11:29.060 But just rich people.

01:11:30.260 No, I mean, some of that, yeah, I do think, like, white-collar crime, because I work in white-collar crime,

01:11:34.080 it's not taken as seriously as it should be, and it harms way more people.

01:11:39.200 If I rob you, you're hurt.

01:11:40.560 If the people who are doing massive-scale medical fraud, Medicare fraud, Medicaid fraud,

01:11:46.300 they are hurting, I haven't seen situations where I haven't hurt thousands of people with

01:11:51.960 their decision-making or something like that.

01:11:54.080 I think they should serve real jail time.

01:11:56.140 But I'm also, I think people who, like.

01:11:59.260 It's good industry.

01:12:00.420 Yeah.

01:12:00.980 It's a good one to make a little bit of money, you know, if you guys want to get into it.

01:12:03.760 My most Republican is bring back segregation.

01:12:11.120 I don't know.

01:12:14.380 You know who loves segregation? 0.98

01:12:17.380 Blacks. 1.00

01:12:18.020 My great-grandpa. 0.57

01:12:19.340 He owned the meat market in New Orleans.

01:12:23.000 And, well, it was a town outside of New Orleans. 0.96

01:12:24.460 And so, if you were black, and you wanted meat, you had to go to his place. 0.94

01:12:30.000 He had 100% of all the black dollars if you wanted meat. 1.00

01:12:33.100 He was fucking rich. 0.99

01:12:34.480 He loved it. 0.99

01:12:35.620 You know, he was like, it was perfect. 0.99

01:12:37.260 And they switched it up, and they could go to fucking the white store and get, like, 0.99

01:12:40.140 he couldn't, like, fucking Jew him on the price anymore. 0.99

01:12:43.600 He was Jewish, by the way. 1.00

01:12:45.100 He was a black Jew. 0.87

01:12:47.540 Real Jew or, like, convert? 0.98

01:12:49.240 He was real.

01:12:49.900 I feel like you have a long history of people who just randomly convert to random British people.

01:12:55.800 Yeah, well, he started off Chinese.

01:12:58.940 Did he look Jewish?

01:13:01.360 No, he looked Chinese.

01:13:03.020 Actually?

01:13:03.560 No, no.

01:13:04.060 He wasn't Jewish at all. 0.87

01:13:04.860 He was just black. 0.92

01:13:05.640 He was Creole. 1.00

01:13:06.320 He looked way lighter than me.

01:13:08.380 Creole.

01:13:08.720 Do you see a picture of him?

01:13:09.960 What does that look like?

01:13:10.600 A shrimp?

01:13:11.360 Yeah.

01:13:12.400 It was a shrimp.

01:13:13.360 What was the market called?

01:13:14.540 Do you know?

01:13:14.900 I don't remember what it was called.

01:13:15.920 Did he look like Forrest Gump's friend from...

01:13:17.920 Bubba?

01:13:21.560 Like, Bubba, dude, that'd be so funny.

01:13:24.980 Just show him that you're a Bubba girl. 0.93

01:13:28.340 That'd be so funny, dude.

01:13:30.300 No, this one looked good.

01:13:32.660 Oh, let me take it out of my grandma.

01:13:33.860 Grandpappy.

01:13:34.820 So that's great-grandpa.

01:13:35.980 He's a teacher.

01:13:37.280 He's a professor.

01:13:38.200 Yeah, he's a professor in Africa.

01:13:39.600 He looks white, doesn't he? 1.00

01:13:40.360 Holy fuck, he does look Chinese. 1.00

01:13:42.560 No, that's his... 1.00

01:13:44.520 That's great-great-grandpa.

01:13:46.400 Is he white?

01:13:47.220 He looks white.

01:13:47.820 Doesn't he?

01:13:48.200 Yeah.

01:13:48.400 No, he's Creole. 1.00

01:13:49.620 Yeah. 0.54

01:13:50.240 I see the black now. 0.70

01:13:51.380 Yeah.

01:13:51.760 You see the black now? 0.76

01:13:53.640 And then that's great-great-grandpa right there.

01:13:57.180 Indian?

01:13:57.880 Yeah, pretty much.

01:13:58.900 That's basically what they were. 1.00

01:13:59.880 Holy fuck. 1.00

01:13:59.900 Like West Indies? 1.00

01:14:01.060 Yeah. 0.98

01:14:01.780 Because they were from Haiti and shit like that. 1.00

01:14:04.200 And then somehow you got back to black. 0.99

01:14:06.360 Got to back to black.

01:14:07.360 It's a whole rigmarole.

01:14:09.620 Yeah.

01:14:10.440 That's like Guyanese. 0.98

01:14:11.520 I'm trying to get a Waysian so I can just get the white and the Asian every, bring it 1.00

01:14:16.180 all in.

01:14:16.620 Wow.

01:14:17.520 You want Blasian, Waysian kids. 1.00

01:14:20.500 Yeah.

01:14:20.900 It's beautiful.

01:14:21.780 Beautiful.

01:14:22.580 I want, it would be, it would mean so much to me if like I come back to life five generations

01:14:27.980 down and my whole family is speaking Korean. 0.99

01:14:29.720 I'm like, fuck yeah. 1.00

01:14:31.420 I did that. 1.00

01:14:32.300 Yeah.

01:14:32.980 Started a trend. 0.74

01:14:34.220 For me, I'd rather they be white but eat Korean food. 0.99

01:14:41.120 Like, yeah, give me some more bulgogi. 1.00

01:14:44.620 It's good shit. 0.99

01:14:45.740 Have you tried this? 1.00

01:14:46.500 Don't touch the pot.

01:14:47.680 It's hot.

01:14:49.340 You have a great special out.

01:14:51.280 Thank you.

01:14:51.600 Don't tell.

01:14:52.220 Yeah.

01:14:52.860 Thank you.

01:14:53.400 Thank you.

01:14:53.720 How can people watch it?

01:14:55.260 YouTube.

01:14:56.020 Type in my name, M-Y-C-A-L-D-E-D-E, and should be the first thing that comes.

01:15:01.340 If not, then it'll just be the second thing.

01:15:04.360 I've said your name and people are like, is that African?

01:15:08.240 I get Nigerian a lot from my name. 1.00

01:15:11.080 The fuck? 1.00

01:15:12.460 I heard that. 1.00

01:15:13.080 As soon as you say African, the car starts. 1.00

01:15:16.040 Is that Uber driver coming back?

01:15:21.020 But thanks.

01:15:21.820 Yeah.

01:15:22.580 You're at Mothership a bunch of times during the week.

01:15:24.820 So if you're in Austin.

01:15:25.660 This is fun, man.

01:15:26.260 Thanks for getting me on.

01:15:26.820 Thank you.

01:15:27.120 Thanks for coming out too.

01:15:28.100 Yeah, of course, man.

01:15:28.660 Appreciate you.

01:15:30.080 Guys.

01:15:31.340 Bye.

01:15:31.620 Bye.

Bankas Podcast - June 24, 2025

Mycal Latravious Dédé ｜ Bankas Podcast - #099

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