Bankas Podcast - Tony Casillas ｜ Bankas Podcast - #098

00:00:00.000 oh i just had the worst uber dude why i'm just trying to breathe the air the air is so good in 1.00

00:00:05.860 here compared to dude this fucking it was a stinky nigerian it was a fucking smelly like 1.00

00:00:13.000 it was just the worst i get in my wife made me a sandwich yeah and like a gatorade and a bat 1.00

00:00:20.280 and a target bag and i got in oh you're like her like 13 year old like little husband yeah

00:00:24.580 i like that she's like my little husband's going to podcast yeah yeah yeah my little husband's going

00:00:30.780 to do the show yeah no exactly but well it's you know it's nice it's it's a nice gesture but i put 0.95

00:00:37.580 it on the fucking seat and the guy was like can you not put it like he was like do not know what 0.96

00:00:44.880 did he ask me he goes is there liquid in that he goes is there liquid in that i'm like yeah yeah bro 0.99

00:00:53.100 hopefully i wish it was aerosol because i want to fucking spray some fucking lysol in your face 1.00

00:00:57.260 to be fair if he's from nigeria depending on how reason he got here he probably doesn't know what 0.99

00:01:03.320 water bottles what is he tsa he's like you need to empty your water bottle before you're getting a 1.00

00:01:10.220 uber the fuck it could be filled with gasoline fucking motherfuck and then he just smelled like 1.00

00:01:17.160 shit and then he that what i hate is when i have like poor people ubers and they come pick me up and 1.00

00:01:22.360 then they go this is a nice area what is he called how much is the rent i'm like too much for 0.98

00:01:28.180 you i lied i said it was like a fifteen hundred dollars more than it was so why because i don't 0.96

00:01:33.780 want him to move there i don't want him fucking every fucking uber move into my area because they're 1.00

00:01:41.700 like this is a nice area i wish i could live in an area like that he was like how much is it i was 0.98

00:01:48.340 like three three he was like three hundred thousand i was like no fucking three grand a month 0.97

00:01:54.380 and he's just like i could do that i can afford that i only have to drive 24 hour a day

00:02:01.580 seven day a week and then i can afford it oh my god dude it gave me a headache i legit have a

00:02:10.040 headache it smells like burning it smells like burning flesh whoa that's you know maybe that's

00:02:16.560 a side hustle just having a like really bad bo no he like burns like flesh like i don't know he's 0.97

00:02:23.840 like what is it like bring how you did i've been to fucking africans i did i've been to an african 0.98

00:02:31.020 house and the guy was boiling rocks in the fucking i'm not even joking why was he boiling rocks i asked 0.99

00:02:35.920 him he was like and he wasn't even that african he didn't have an accent but he was like oh yeah 0.98

00:02:40.020 it's like a thing we do i'm like bro for what to get rid of the smell i don't fucking know 0.90

00:02:46.840 i like the smell of a rock was he like a nice conversation at least no he was just trying to 0.92

00:02:52.900 move to my fucking neighborhood and then like right after he said that he's like i need to stop for gas 0.98

00:02:58.740 no he didn't he stopped for gas no he didn't he did during the uber ride yes how much did you tip 0.99

00:03:03.680 dude oh nothing i haven't even i'm gonna one star him and probably complain you're gonna one star 0.98

00:03:09.000 i might one star and be like this guy smells like shit and stop for gas maybe that's why he was asking 0.98

00:03:16.740 what's in the bottle he's like if there's gasoline please could i have it and then we don't he should 0.99

00:03:22.420 have been like the only way i would have accepted that uber he's like i am sorry i smell like shit 0.98

00:03:27.500 do you want to smoke inside did you get to eat your sandwich in the uber no i fucking didn't i 0.99

00:03:34.880 would have been fucking puked i don't even want to eat it now it probably smells like that guy's 1.00

00:03:39.580 fucking asshole so what was the smell can you describe the smell it smelled it's honestly smelled 1.00

00:03:44.940 like worse like you know when indians smell but that it was like less sweet yeah like an indian 1.00

00:03:53.540 stink is kind of like oh maybe they didn't want to eat something yeah but his stink was like bad like

00:03:59.200 it was just like a heavy yeah he did try to make conversation that that was the craziest part so he

00:04:04.000 goes into the gas station he's he stops for gas and it's like five minutes i'm look over i'm like

00:04:10.500 he's just staring at the machine and then i'm like i think he's gonna steal the gas like i think he just

00:04:16.000 filled his tank he's not gonna pay or something yeah then he gets in he's like dead one did not work

00:04:21.140 and he pulls to another pump and i'm like bro like i was kind of i was like bro like i'm kind of

00:04:28.660 like in a rut like right before he pulled in he's like are you in a rush i was like yeah

00:04:31.900 and he's like he took like 15 minutes at a gas station and then he he's like i only put five dollar

00:04:38.680 and then we're pulling out of the gas station he's like

00:04:41.800 elon musk and donald trump are mad at each other i'm like bro i'm interested in that but i don't want 0.98

00:04:49.800 to talk to you about it you know what i mean you've already ruined this how about fucking bathe 0.99

00:04:54.600 oh my god he obviously has shitty kids because his kids were writing all it was like a decently 0.99

00:05:01.520 nice car it was like a infinity or something like a lexus but his kids just rode all over the like 1.00

00:05:07.580 red leather seats with fucking pen on the back of the seats obviously or somebody did 0.98

00:05:13.320 like there was pen all over his car 0.99

00:05:15.620 this is this is when i get more did you get an uber with like a demon dude there's just red pen

00:05:24.180 everywhere dude no it was black pen on like a like a tan like like tan leather

00:05:29.560 he probably bought no i'm guessing he bought the car like that and he's like no i can maybe no i bet he 1.00

00:05:36.860 has shitty kids all those fucking ubers have shitty kids that's what makes me more racist sometimes 1.00

00:05:43.580 it's like i'll be like i'm not racist like i have friends who are you know black and chinese and 1.00

00:05:50.720 asian you know whatever like i do but then i see then out in the wild yeah i do international waters 0.96

00:05:59.960 you know fucking strip i don't think you're racist i think you just don't like bad people 0.99

00:06:05.500 like or bad people in general it's not racial i don't think it's bad people 0.98

00:06:08.900 it's it's not racial because i i have the same feeling of like

00:06:13.360 it's not hatred would you have given that guy a pass if his name was like chad

00:06:17.260 dude he was like i feel like i would have told him bro is there like liquid in there 0.96

00:06:22.140 bro i gotta go get gas real quick bro holy fuck the gas tank didn't work we're gonna have to go 0.99

00:06:30.760 that's the thing is if he was white i think i would have musk are like pissed at each other bro 0.99

00:06:34.940 would you have been a little less annoyed if he was white i would have felt less fear that i could 1.00

00:06:41.540 tell him what i actually thought like if he was white i could have been like bro it fucking smells 1.00

00:06:47.620 like shit in here what's going on you know what i mean or if he was white i could have been like 1.00

00:06:53.500 dude this is like this gas station thing is fucked like you know what i mean or like dude 0.99

00:06:58.920 i don't want to talk to you about it right now we have a surprise uber driver 0.99

00:07:03.960 please come in i am your best friend now what why do you want to ask me i swear he knows he smells

00:07:13.540 there was like a look on his face like he was like this man does not like my smell yeah but i

00:07:18.780 like that he doesn't like it now there's a what is it uh there are these there needs to be a new

00:07:25.800 word for like not racism but like you said like just hating like shitty like people who act like 0.99

00:07:32.700 fucking retarded no there's just i think there's a sprinkle you might have a sprinkle a whisper yeah 0.99

00:07:38.840 like a whisper don't you think you have like a whisper listen 1.00

00:07:44.160 like a like a like a touch you know like on the autistic board you're not like 0.90

00:07:54.020 outside good inside bet but you're just like um every time you leave you have to go switch on

00:08:01.140 switch off that's what you have you just have the quick like like a spectrum of racism yeah and

00:08:07.100 you're on like the the left end you're not you bear you barely have it yeah i'm just like but

00:08:11.760 then when you get in the stinky uber you're just when you get in the stinky uber it like pours 0.99

00:08:20.740 you're like what if it was a white guy oh yeah yeah all those stinky white ubers 1.00

00:08:24.340 this fucking guy's uber smells like a fucking man is freshly manicured poodle 1.00

00:08:36.420 well white guys i've been in the white people like care about like the uber smell 1.00

00:08:42.720 sometimes you've never been in a shitty i've been in it didn't smell it was i had an uber once 0.95

00:08:48.440 i had an uber once like shitty like the seats are falling apart there was a guy he looked like 0.60

00:08:53.960 i would say like taylor but a little bit if like taylor a little bit more hood and he picked me up

00:09:00.320 from the airport and he literally goes hey is this you and i just go sure yeah it's me put my bag in

00:09:08.520 the back of the car we drive he is bumping rap like just loud white yeah white just bumping and i'm 0.84

00:09:15.220 just like okay at least we're not gonna talk this is fine probably raised by blacks 0.99

00:09:18.820 i love that though when white people are like i was raised in a black area so now i talk like that 0.96

00:09:33.260 it's like no bro you're just retarded yeah no but he dropped me off and i just go hey just 0.85

00:09:37.880 pop the trunk i'm gonna go get my bag and i get out of the car and right as i close the back door he 0.92

00:09:44.000 just and i'm just like i like literally have to chase after the car and then he goes oh my bad

00:09:49.220 man and then pops the trunk like he drove away with you yeah without you without the bat with the bag

00:09:55.000 in the oh my god and then i'd go like hi hi and he go oh my bad man i had an uber in toronto that was 0.88

00:10:00.280 uh that fucking i got it like he didn't realize there was two guys my buddy ordered it and gets in 0.99

00:10:06.540 he's like are you so and so he's like yeah and i'm like the door is open and i'm like one leg in 0.99

00:10:12.160 and he starts pulling forward yeah and he was like fucking arab or something he's like oh my 0.99

00:10:17.960 brother i did not know i did not see it what do you fucking mean you don't you're picking people up 0.98

00:10:23.920 you look around you don't like anyway but i did think about this if you're bad at uber yeah that's 0.93

00:10:30.680 it you can't do anything you can't do anything in this world because if you can't simply have a 0.99

00:10:36.540 fucking car that smells okay pick people up properly safely drive them from one place to 0.98

00:10:41.920 the other be polite say nothing don't ask people anything don't talk i have a thing i have a i have 1.00

00:10:47.840 a setting and it says no conversation they don't they don't give a fuck about that they don't give 1.00

00:10:52.480 a fuck that it says no conversation oh no conversation that means this motherfucker want 1.00

00:10:55.980 to talk no i don't i hate you yeah that's why at a certain point though you do kind of have to i 1.00

00:11:03.840 mean you have to organize private you have to do outside uber as somebody used to uber i you don't 0.94

00:11:09.160 really look at the details because they to be fair they are getting fucked the app the the uber 0.89

00:11:16.020 and lyft apps fuck the drivers you'll because i remember once um it was like a 30 drive and it was 0.96

00:11:24.220 like a two-hour drive it was like from here to like the south side of san antonio and i was like making 0.98

00:11:29.880 like 45 bucks on it and i asked the guy hey how much did it the app charge i just want to know how

00:11:35.440 much did the app charge you and he goes it charged me 140 jesus and i'm like oh i'm getting 40 of the

00:11:42.140 dollars and i'm doing all the work so yeah that's why i kind of saw the the apps are slowly fucking 0.83

00:11:48.620 people so i kind of get why they're like today i will keep it stinky right they really i that's

00:11:57.380 premiered that's like a 50 like that's not yeah but still there's or maybe no i think i did get the

00:12:04.100 cheap one yeah you got this is the thing is i'll go i'll have premieres and then i'm like okay what

00:12:08.180 am i doing who do i think i am yeah this is crazy i'm gonna get a i don't get uber x but i'll get 0.95

00:12:12.900 like a comfort yeah and then it stinks it doesn't matter it stinks like shit they're still getting 0.99

00:12:18.860 fucked i had such a bad one last night too the guy so this guy he was black um 0.99

00:12:24.720 which has honestly i don't even think he was i think he was half black half native american 1.00

00:12:30.660 okay how did you that's literally as bad as it gets was he a black guy wearing 1.00

00:12:34.720 with like a like i'm joking wearing like a dream catcher he had a dream catcher he had a dream

00:12:40.220 catcher hanging yeah and i wouldn't have known that he was i just thought like he likes dream 0.88

00:12:45.360 catchers whatever you know shit you know you don't like a dream catcher yeah yeah but 1.00

00:12:53.200 he got he fucking no i don't actually i fucking hate them hey motherfucker you ever catch your dream 1.00

00:13:00.340 clearly this thing isn't working because you're fucking driving an uber 1.00

00:13:06.420 my dream be running my dream be bad so i get in he has like a disco ball in the back but it's not 0.99

00:13:13.340 even like it's literally it's literally just it just the whole time you're driving it just feels

00:13:18.220 like you're being pulled over like it's just blue and red it's just like you're like i was like

00:13:23.060 are we being fucking pulled up i asked he was like are you uncomfortable with that sorry i kind 0.99

00:13:27.780 of spit there you're fine um i was like are you uncomfortable with that uh and he said that to me 0.97

00:13:32.540 i was like well i mean does kind of feel like you're being pulled over the whole time doesn't it yeah

00:13:37.240 like and he was like he goes yeah we i get pulled over about once a month because of this thing

00:13:44.960 and i was like well let's just turn it off why don't we do that why don't we have a

00:13:50.440 carefree ride back to my and then he goes yeah but when i got you know they just have nothing to do

00:13:56.560 they pull me over then i show them my aboriginal card or some or indian card or tribal he said tribal

00:14:02.820 card yeah what is that a tribal part of a tribe probably that he's probably native american yeah

00:14:08.400 because i was i'm so racist i was thinking like african

00:14:11.980 this guy's gotta be like i'm from wakanda but no that was like a card that you get from like a

00:14:20.120 mcdonald's happy meal that just says the official wakanda card but this is the thing that uber should

00:14:25.860 have is like you should be able to like say you take uber and then you you meet when you actually

00:14:30.300 like and you're like this car smells good yeah and this guy didn't really talk and but when i

00:14:35.940 talked he talked a little bit but then he didn't ask anything else yeah you know he got me there

00:14:40.620 quick you should be able to be like i like this guy you know like star him yeah and then be able

00:14:46.680 to like request specifically him you just want a private driver yeah exactly but i think that uber is

00:14:54.900 going to become that because it's like that's how i think i think they're losing a lot of like

00:14:58.880 something the guy last night was like oh it's a slow night it's like yeah because nobody wants 0.95

00:15:02.560 a fucking uber because you guys are all nuts yeah but it's also the at my that's like my thing it's 0.99

00:15:07.980 like uh i don't know pay the people more and you'll get better service yeah no of course yeah you're 1.00

00:15:15.360 gonna get crazy that's why it's way better to get that's why it's way better to pay a guy privately

00:15:20.000 even so if it's like 140 bucks he gets 140 bucks i used to do that when i first moved here and i was

00:15:24.660 ubering i would tell people to like tourists because i would take them to their hotel i'd be

00:15:28.960 like hey man here's my phone number call me and i'll take you all out all night so they'd pay me

00:15:35.280 like 150 bucks i'd take them to like one bar and then i would just chill in that area they'd text me

00:15:40.320 when they're done i'd pick them up again take them to another place they'd text me because i was like 0.99

00:15:44.320 it works out for me i don't have to pay the fucking bullshit app and they're chill they're not 0.98

00:15:49.180 gonna throw up in my car they're easy and then i'm making more money but yeah i used to do that i would be 0.99

00:15:53.400 like hey when you have to go to the airport call me no that's the future that's that's the future

00:15:58.580 but yeah just back out our future yeah back not everybody's future a lot of people's future is 0.99

00:16:04.600 just being in stinky ubers every day of their fucking life what a fucking but yeah apparently 0.99

00:16:10.120 elon or trump are fighting but which is pretty crazy did you see what elon said yeah he said his 1.00

00:16:16.000 like bill is disgusting and no but then he said today that the real reason uh they didn't release

00:16:21.180 the epstein files is because trump's on them and no he didn't he did say that it's going viral right

00:16:26.800 now it's so honestly kind of makes sense he'll find it oh yeah here it is 24 million views on this

00:16:36.780 tweet time to drop have a nice day djt can i read the whole thing read the whole thing it says time to

00:16:43.540 drop the really big bomb real donald trump is in the epstein files i love how that's like a shocking 0.98

00:16:51.180 there's literally videos of them dancing to like abba and people are like and he's like fucking 0.96

00:16:58.300 they're dancing as they're fingering like some random lady on the day and it says trump is on

00:17:03.000 the epstein files this is the real reason they have not been made public have a nice day djt and this 0.99

00:17:09.440 is what make this is why politics is so it's like so stupid i think it's stupid that i mean if if that 0.99

00:17:19.020 even if that's true it's like that trump's even dumber yeah for not like why would you try to piss 0.99

00:17:24.540 this guy off he owns twitter bro yeah but you know because it's the thing about the the republicans i 0.97

00:17:30.700 think it's like the battle of the egos where with the the liberals it was kind of like the old man

00:17:36.600 and who's the best person yeah the old man and the the the the un elon said he's gonna start a new

00:17:46.040 party though that kind of makes who who did you i voted i didn't vote this term no not voting but

00:17:52.460 you were saying like the not liberals but what do you mean you're like how are the like the the right

00:17:58.680 is the right ego contest yeah it's like an ego and then the left they're just kind of like this social

00:18:04.420 conscious they don't care either they're as bad as the right but they they they're lying they play

00:18:10.280 they're lying too come on about different stuff yeah they're both lying yeah one is just like we're

00:18:15.860 here for the working class no we're here for the working class and then they're both putting their 0.93

00:18:19.860 money their hands into a different money basket but do you feel that like and i agree with that

00:18:25.880 but i do feel like you know how because like america's obviously like you know people want to come

00:18:31.240 here and do stinky uber when i grow up like they're all all they're all lying but it's like 0.98

00:18:38.460 mommy when i grow up i will have an uber and it will be the stinkiest uber ever and a a fat white 0.99

00:18:50.040 man will get in and he will be pissed off the whole time 0.98

00:18:56.260 he will i will drive him to his podcast studio and he will be pissed off the whole time

00:19:07.600 and the dad's just like okay so my son has crazy dreams he's a dream that's why we bought him this

00:19:15.840 dream catcher all the ubers is just one person at this point i hope you only get stinky but i'm

00:19:25.260 saying that like there's obviously opportunity here that no it's again it's the same thing they're

00:19:31.480 both lying but like in weird way my things like i think i like i don't even care i've started to

00:19:37.280 realize like being on a team like yeah you kind of have to have your own idea of how to fix everything

00:19:42.180 and then that's like my i truly believe that if they just legalized weed across the board yeah

00:19:49.740 and like forced other countries to do that too yeah and then like force them to buy our weed

00:19:56.400 yeah dude it's crazy right now in texas i've been watching like these that's what mexico does yeah i've

00:20:02.340 been watching these little videos how texas they're trying to ban like delta eight delta nine all this

00:20:07.140 kind of stuff and they're like we're here we're protecting the kids and then they're like yeah

00:20:12.180 but what about the adults we don't care about the adult and i'm like you're just helping the cartel

00:20:18.160 out you know that right like people adults that just want to buy weed they're still gonna want to

00:20:23.100 get high and now you're just gonna ban it all because jesus didn't smoke weed like gaza should have 1.00

00:20:31.540 been smoking weed for like 15 years yeah like all that shit should have been just smoking weed 0.96

00:20:37.500 because this is not an issue like people are not even on the like wavelength of being able to think 0.98

00:20:45.780 about these types of conflicts when they're you know what i'm saying yeah and maybe that's a bad 0.96

00:20:50.800 thing yeah i just think it's but it's not that they're they're stupid to it it's just that they're 0.98

00:20:56.080 like bro there's better shit to do like let's go like let's try that new spot that new restaurant 0.98

00:21:02.980 let's you know i'm saying like i don't know why so much of the world and so many people are like and 0.97

00:21:10.020 and i it's like a lot of it's a money issue where it's just like if you throw money at people they 0.96

00:21:13.960 just act better yeah like look at fucking the saudi arabians and then you know they're just so rich so 0.94

00:21:20.260 they're like opulence there was a town where they uh a town that was struggling and they gave uh 0.99

00:21:25.100 like a basic income what was it called uh ubi ubi and they gave them just an extra five hundred

00:21:30.740 dollars a month and crime went down by a pretty good percentage and like people were like not

00:21:36.260 calling into work like sick as much and i think that is good you find like bad areas get these

00:21:42.500 rich just throw a few extra because i dude when i have an extra five my fans are gonna be like

00:21:47.180 ben bankus is a communist he's agreeing with that ubi no but i do like it for i like it for poor people

00:21:54.040 because just keep them like but the problem is i don't want to pay more tax for it you know i'm

00:21:59.100 saying no i i'm not if i'm the thing is in general i don't think people like you should be paying more

00:22:04.340 tax i think it should be people like mr musk yeah mr musk calling out the epstein files

00:22:10.140 it is weird that people with like people who make like 90 grand a year like bro like what so you can't

00:22:19.200 get rich in this country anymore and it's like but these guys are so much richer like you can't get

00:22:23.880 as rich as him no it's impossible did you watch the interview of someone uh they were interviewing

00:22:28.500 musk could try after he got kicked out of the white house and he's back at tesla and they're like so uh

00:22:34.900 what was it like being at the white house and he's like i really don't want to talk uh politics

00:22:41.540 anymore just let's build more cars and they're like yeah but like what about when you two days 0.99

00:22:49.520 later yeah donald trump was on the epstein list i think dude honestly i think he realized he fucked 0.93

00:22:56.340 up so much because he lost a shit ton of money with this this past few months because with the stocks 0.91

00:23:02.220 tanking everywhere people are like fuck this guy so they're like hey man you kind of have to 0.98

00:23:07.800 him you want you want to stay the ceo of tesla you have to politically kill donald trump he's like 0.99

00:23:15.500 okay i like he's trying to act like he's not mad about the ev cuts like that's the only thing on that

00:23:21.040 bill that affects him at all i mean i don't know anything about the bill that is all i've heard that

00:23:26.060 like i i i love coming to terms with like because there is this we have this urge now where you go

00:23:34.840 online and it's like whatever he just said is like a tweet and then you're like yeah yeah

00:23:40.640 and you start telling people but it's like yeah guys like this are our news source guys that wear

00:23:46.000 skater t-shirts and shorts a guy off camera just be like hey i heard this that runs a podcast studio

00:23:51.800 next to a barbershop where you can't smoke in it yeah this is our jake tapper of our generation he 0.63

00:23:57.720 told me the the mexican tattoo guys will get mad if i smoke in here i'm like that's that shouldn't be a 0.99

00:24:03.500 those are awesome mexican tattoo guys yeah they really they care about their work um what was

00:24:10.240 i gonna say that it doesn't make you laugh though that they're fine it's not no nobody knows what's

00:24:14.380 in the bill the people who wrote the bill don't know what's it come on like there's like one guy

00:24:18.020 there's one guy maybe maybe five guys who are like i actually could i could sit you down for five

00:24:23.320 hours and explain this to you and you'll probably want to kill yourself at the end because it's too much

00:24:27.460 information scary yeah i think it's funny though because the trump elon thing is like a sugar baby

00:24:33.300 like situation where elon was his like sugar daddy pay oh you want more ads i got you honey you want 1.00

00:24:41.760 this and then eventually he was like it's time to pay the pipe it's time to suck the dick and trump 1.00

00:24:47.420 was like oh you're all i don't want to suck your dick and he's like well you're a pedophile then 1.00

00:24:53.000 yeah i'm gonna ruin your life but yeah it's i mean trump elon even tweeted too that he like you 1.00

00:25:01.460 wouldn't have been able to win without me and that's probably true 100 sure so what i don't know

00:25:07.920 this is a little scary what's scary about it's funny it's funny right now today but in like two

00:25:14.380 weeks when it you know this could like trump might want to do more censorship all of a sudden 0.96

00:25:20.140 because oh yeah because but then if he does that he's just fucking himself i think elon 0.97

00:25:27.280 knows he has the upper hand he might not because then the lip like the liberals right now are the 0.98

00:25:33.020 people that we have to feel sad for because they don't know who to hate right now because they're 0.99

00:25:36.440 like wait yeah elon he's the good oh wait no he's saying crazy shit oh trump's gonna do censor 0.99

00:25:41.360 elon maybe trump's then all of a sudden the people from the left yeah but liberals will change 0.98

00:25:45.720 the mind remember how we hated george trump could literally just come out and be like i'm more of a

00:25:49.640 democrat really the thing about all of a sudden liberals is if you switch sides to the right point

00:25:54.640 again they'll like you again look at george w bush hated oh you killed kids in iraq and afghanistan

00:26:00.620 you're a murderer da da da and then years later he comes out and he goes i drove pictures of sad 0.77

00:26:06.280 soldiers and they're like oh look at him he's so sweet and then they're like what do you think 0.98

00:26:11.160 about trump george bush i think he's kind of wacky and i don't like him and they're like oh we like

00:26:16.700 you george so that's what elon's don't because it's the same with like zuckerberg zuckerberg did 0.85

00:26:21.960 the same shit where he was kind of like a left-leaning tech guy and then uh he knew trump was gonna win 0.96

00:26:29.180 and he goes man i think liberals are bad people these these these guys are the most autists 0.99

00:26:35.500 they just want to be liked what do you think about elon musk's bruise on his eye what do you think 0.99

00:26:42.980 that's from probably from like weird sex yeah he probably likes getting hit by a beautiful woman 1.00

00:26:49.420 yeah yeah i don't think it's anything crazy i really think that's just a lady you think that's a sex uh 1.00

00:26:58.500 sex robot maybe an optimist that'd be cool if trump just whacked people are saying that people 0.98

00:27:05.040 are saying that they think trump might have punched him in the face right before that that actually would 0.97

00:27:09.840 be so funny wait is that the is it is it enhanced in the other one look at his eyes why does it the top

00:27:17.700 one looks enhanced go to the other one that does yeah it looks that does look like someone's grandma

00:27:23.980 at thanksgiving he loves you honey is grandpa treating you okay grandpa loves you you know he

00:27:32.400 just has his little moments and she's just like why does a bruise look so much uh more appropriate

00:27:42.060 on an elderly like when you see an elderly with a bruise you're like good because i think they 1.00

00:27:48.000 they bruise easily you know they bruise easily yeah i i hope he hit him i really do i hope every

00:27:55.600 politician just gets hit like i think what what social media is showing with paul do you think he 0.99

00:28:01.620 has neural link like there's something about him that makes me think like he he's done some shit to 0.99

00:28:06.040 himself like you know the top most sensitive stuff where they're like we could put a brain chip in you 0.90

00:28:12.880 like it's not that test like i feel like he would do something that's not that tested just if it like

00:28:16.960 gave him some abilities i think it's just the cat i mean you think he's on the drugs and no he

00:28:21.860 literally was saying he was taking a lot of cat i mean for a while that's why he's kind of during the

00:28:27.980 whole like the past few months he was going to like political campaigns he was he was going to

00:28:35.040 political campaigns with like a chainsaw going like we're gonna cut these bills and then he was just

00:28:40.180 like i am mean i am hey man they they said like comedy was like not cool man like that's why he

00:28:48.520 was literally becoming like a uh a 15 year old high school stoner like he's just drugged out

00:28:55.200 that's why they need to legalize it they need to legalize most things because i think that

00:29:00.920 like for your average person their big worry every day is like is a normal thing that i'm doing illegal

00:29:06.400 yeah which is crazy yeah that's why this is like we were like why are bong stores allowed 0.98

00:29:14.100 you know what i mean it's like you can buy everything to smoke this stuff smoking tobacco

00:29:18.300 but it's retarded no i remember in high school we got yes we got kicked out of a smoke shop 0.78

00:29:24.200 can i get a bong and they're like get out these are tobacco bongs and i go who's taking tobacco to the

00:29:32.900 dome like that you put your remember they used to go you put your whatever they call it they're

00:29:37.380 like i guess they call it your herb your herb put your herb here what are we doing yeah yeah 0.99

00:29:45.480 what the fuck are we doing you put it in the bowl and then you and you get that nicotine rush and i 0.89

00:29:53.040 was like yeah i'm not gonna smoke there was this place i'm trying to smoke weed that's what i would 0.99

00:29:57.260 say in toronto try to get high toronto canada there's a place like so queen street used to be

00:30:03.760 before weed was legal it used to be like all the head shops were there and like a lot you know when

00:30:09.800 kids are young the teenagers they you know they want to go to the head shop and the people working

00:30:14.500 there are probably pedophiles or something and they're like because they would just they knew we

00:30:20.140 were right oh he's from maryland because we all had fakes fake ids oh he's from maryland he's from

00:30:26.020 maryland going california sorry sorry i'm from maryland sorry no all the canadian kids like when

00:30:32.240 we were in high school we'd have fake ids but they were all from different u.s states yeah that's

00:30:35.800 what i'm saying which is funny this guy's california we're all just happen to be 15 and i'm from 0.97

00:30:41.560 maryland and we're just hanging out and we're trying to get we're exactly 21 because we're too stupid 0.57

00:30:46.940 to say we're any older than that and like you know as yeah it's so obvious but some of those places

00:30:53.980 this one place that was actually like the best one because i don't forget they had some

00:30:57.780 they've been written about in one of those whatever that weed magazine what's the weed

00:31:01.720 big weed high times they've been like written about thank you jake tapper that's what jake

00:31:08.560 tapper he knows all the information yeah he's good he's really good um not so good with the red and 0.98

00:31:14.960 blue yeah who wants a red okay no um but this one place it was a fuck the name's escaping right now 0.98

00:31:25.180 smoke was it called like smoke shop oh no it was called friendly stranger oh i like that it was a 0.58

00:31:30.880 cool it was like they had it was like the best smoke like bong store yeah when we were kids and it 0.98

00:31:36.480 just had like cool logo and you'd go in the best bong stores were kind of like fucking you are smoking 0.99

00:31:42.540 weed bro like you know what i mean they're like fucking you're gonna smoke weed right yeah um and 0.99

00:31:48.660 that place uh just stayed open for and and even through legalization and then they got a license 0.98

00:31:57.580 and now they find now they actually sell it like properly they like you know they had to pay like

00:32:02.920 a hundred grand or whatever crazy amount of money you have to pay in canada to get your license to do

00:32:06.520 it that's crazy i remember in new orleans i was in new orleans recently and i was looking for a vape

00:32:13.360 and every gas station or little mart they don't sell vapes vapes are illegal in new orleans which i was

00:32:18.140 like i go there are literally people drinking on the street throwing up and they're like you can't

00:32:23.980 smoke that's not good for you and i'm like that lady is literally running around naked he's going 1.00

00:32:29.180 they're they're after me they're after me but like i can't smoke my watermelon ice 0.68

00:32:33.760 and the cops are like ah janice uh what a silly goose and so my a guy that lived there flap he's a 0.64

00:32:43.460 rapper from new orleans shout out flap um he just he's a white rapper from new orleans i love him to 0.94

00:32:48.880 death does he do uber on the side no no but um he goes he just went man i got the spot for you

00:32:56.220 and uh we walk into the store that's completely empty it's literally it kind of looks like this

00:33:02.700 podcast it's like a cat couch this and there's maybe 12 cigarette packs behind the why are they 0.84

00:33:13.800 making random shit illegal they're like yo hair dries ain't legal in this state yeah you want a hair 0.81

00:33:19.280 dry you got to go to a weird spot but there's like 12 cigarette packs behind the cash cash register 0.98

00:33:24.180 and then i just go hey i'm looking for a vape and he goes follow me and we walked up two flights

00:33:31.300 of stairs and then there was just a mountain of vapes and then he just goes all right which one do

00:33:37.920 you want and i would go that one and then you grab it take me i didn't even pay for it upstairs he'd

00:33:42.660 just take me back to the normal cash cash register i was like they're gonna see that i'm buying this

00:33:48.520 from you and he goes yeah we just gotta keep them hidden how are people like it's just like

00:33:52.440 why are politicians focusing on these these these weird dystopian like control measures of like 0.96

00:34:00.740 random things and that people are gonna do no matter what whether it's certain drugs or fucking 0.97

00:34:06.960 cigarettes or fucking vapes or you know why it's like in california because they love us and they 0.98

00:34:15.460 want us it's such a pretend it's such a fake they want us to live forever yeah they want us to be a 0.99

00:34:22.220 happy family and live forever but like in cali have you you know when you're in cali and you're at the

00:34:29.860 hotel yeah and they have signs in the hall at the hotel california well have you been to a hotel in cali

00:34:39.140 yeah they have signs in the lobby that are like when you go outside you might breathe be breathing

00:34:44.980 in chemicals in the air yeah like they have like a law there where they have to like tell you that 0.99

00:34:49.580 everything's bad yeah and it's like bro what the fuck just don't like that's the crazy because they 0.99

00:34:56.480 have like some of the best laws for a lot of shit like you can babe you can smoke you can but then at 0.99

00:35:01.600 the end but then they have this warning where they're like yeah everything outside's really bad 0.97

00:35:06.020 because they're putting shit in the air my sister called me a few months ago she was in california

00:35:10.680 she called me distressed she goes yeah me and my friend had to just like run because it's like 0.98

00:35:15.560 naked homeless guy was chasing us and then i was like oh that's scary and then we got in the hotel

00:35:20.740 lobby and we're like yeah that this homeless guy was chasing us and they're like yeah and the hotel

00:35:27.320 guy was just like yep yeah they don't all right have a good night it's california is crazy with the

00:35:33.700 what city what city was la yeah that makes sense los angeles but if you go to like uh san diego's

00:35:40.280 pretty nice and he goes nice certain certain towns it'd be sick to just live in like a californian 1.00

00:35:46.100 town what does this say warning chemicals known to the state of california to cause cancer or birth

00:35:52.640 defects or other reproductive harm may be present in the foods or beverages sold or served here at denny's

00:36:00.360 well that makes sense but they have this in front of every if you're going to denny's for like good

00:36:05.580 food like for healthy food what are we doing that's what you're going to denny's sullivan goes

00:36:10.980 yeah he has a salad yeah we go to denny's to have birth defects we can't have abortions in texas

00:36:18.120 so we go to denny's and we get the grand slam which and we hope that sandwich just crushes the baby

00:36:23.660 that's why we go but would you rather i don't know i don't know what's it's just funny to me

00:36:30.440 why can't they just make the country it's funny to me though that all these these freedom

00:36:35.100 they're all fucking america's free they voted for the they vote for the right the people that 0.85

00:36:43.080 want you to be like this weird clean christian so i should be able to say whatever i want and then 1.00

00:36:49.380 you say shit in front of like your nana and she slaps you and she goes god doesn't want you to say 1.00

00:36:53.360 shit and then slap the the right is the most censored party they don't want you doing drugs 1.00

00:36:59.420 if you smoke weed you're you're useless to society you're i think they need to like get hip to that 1.00

00:37:05.240 though because they have to know they all do it they have to know that like everybody like on their

00:37:10.220 team or was i mean it the way people thought during the election versus now is totally different

00:37:18.140 like if there was an election today people would probably go just do kamala that was fun to like

00:37:23.220 it was fun to just yeah especially after musk all this this whole thing like it's like he's not gonna 0.98

00:37:28.960 win but all they have to do all the fucking democrats have to do is go we're gonna legalize 0.95

00:37:34.080 marijuana we're gonna make it a big deal and we promise and we swear to god and we're gonna talk 0.99

00:37:38.560 because so many people would vote for that yeah because really make the country as shitty as you want 0.99

00:37:44.220 but put a fucking dispensary with 39 infused blunts right there yeah and you can have a shitty 1.00

00:37:50.620 economy and nobody gives a fuck yeah if you were if you were stoned out of your mind you'd have been 1.00

00:37:54.920 in stinky uber going like wow we're driving fast you get you and then he would have been like i have to 0.99

00:38:00.720 go to the gas station you're like i do have the munchies you would have yeah it's true though like let 0.84

00:38:08.500 that's what because that's what they did during the lockdowns that's why the first two weeks of the 0.95

00:38:11.900 lockdowns everybody was kind of happy was because they were just like get fucked up they let liquor 0.98

00:38:18.240 stores up like get fucked up hey smoke all your weed no that was some that's why everything's bad 0.99

00:38:26.120 though that's why everything not bad but that's why everything's like topsy-turvy is because of 0.99

00:38:32.100 the locking people in a room yeah they they yeah they didn't put that into consideration where you get

00:38:38.740 too high and if you just stuck in a room you're gonna go crazy yeah like i binge watched ben shapiro

00:38:44.440 ben shapiro for like two weeks during the lockdown and it was the worst version of me i was just like

00:38:50.660 maybe maybe gay people shouldn't get married i was just like i like i was like well maybe it is 0.98

00:38:56.220 maybe jesus doesn't want this like i started talking like him for like two i was like oh fuck this is 0.98

00:39:00.700 not good yeah did you get a lot done though no i got less no they literally said there is like a 0.75

00:39:09.160 weird they said tony if you go outside you're dead all these guys are freaking out now because they're

00:39:14.600 like why doesn't anybody care anymore why is anybody like because all their viewership's down it's like

00:39:18.700 because people don't they never cared they were just locked inside yeah and they were forced to care

00:39:23.860 about politics because it's like the politics is literally this guy says outside's good yeah this guy

00:39:29.320 says outside's bad yeah everybody's in on that we're concerned this guy says that we should be

00:39:35.220 allowed to go to restaurants oh this guy said that restaurants shouldn't exist like everybody's

00:39:40.560 involved in politics and then when they go back to normal people don't even like it i think people

00:39:44.840 are just now two years three years after getting a little bit back to normal also i think these people

00:39:52.220 got too famous and then their real sides came out like when um what's his face steven crowder that 0.98

00:39:57.060 fucking silly bitch he was like fucking killing it during cover right so it's about all right 1.00

00:40:03.400 and then a video comes out of him just yelling at his wife she's like can i go to the grocery store 1.00

00:40:08.960 but but what if i have to see my friends and she's like but the children are hungry and the dog needs

00:40:14.480 food then maybe walk to the grocery store and she's like eight months pregnant and then she's like i think 1.00

00:40:20.660 i want to divorce and he goes yeah laws in this country are fucked up women can just ask for a 1.00

00:40:26.280 divorce that's what he said and then even his own fans were just like you say so if like you're just 0.98

00:40:34.120 being abusive and she doesn't want to be married to you you you should be able to say no you're stuck

00:40:38.120 with me forever yeah and his even his fans were like yeah man that doesn't seem like great like my mom 0.97

00:40:43.740 got out of an abusive relationship because my dad would come home and just beat the shit out of her 1.00

00:40:48.620 because meatloaf was cold i'm glad my mom got out of that situation yeah she should have stayed she's 1.00

00:40:54.800 she's a bitch she should have been a warrior instead taking those punches that's what i think 1.00

00:41:00.060 a lot of guys they were just getting affirmated from their fans you're right you're right then the 1.00

00:41:04.900 real opinions came out and the people were like oh you're crazy you know what i mean it's like you're 1.00

00:41:10.920 nuts yeah a woman should have to suck your dick if you ask if you say please they should have to 1.00

00:41:17.680 suck your dick and then people are like maybe they don't have like you you mean well like tate 1.00

00:41:23.820 and tate was like got probably the most famous person during covid oh yeah and then he was like 1.00

00:41:31.840 rape is okay yeah whatever you said yeah and then yeah crowd find a bunch of whores and just steal 1.00

00:41:39.560 money from them and you're just like ah that's still thievery that's still yeah but also it's like 0.97

00:41:45.320 you have to yeah that's what's nice about comedy is you can just say something and be like yeah

00:41:49.600 you know just kidding

00:41:50.720 like andrew tate you know there's not there's no i think yeah i mean he i don't think he's ever

00:42:02.020 said something crazy and been like i was going for just just the effect we wanted the effect

00:42:07.540 yeah you know i think and i think people are just annoyed are just done with like rich people

00:42:12.020 complaining like like rich people just going like it's like the nelk boys or whatever they're just 1.00

00:42:18.880 going like man this country's going to shit that's one video and then the next video is like we're 0.98

00:42:24.260 doing 14 lines of cocaine and we're gonna do 24 hours at the nightclub while we spend 150 million 0.99

00:42:29.780 dollars and you're like why are you complaining about america america's doing you really did they

00:42:36.360 i thought they complained about canada no but they come to america they're like kamala oh yeah

00:42:41.760 they helped uh we can't this country trump this country's under biden this country's nuts and i'm 0.93

00:42:47.280 like i just watched everybody wanted trump i just watched a video of the 12 the 12 blow job a night 0.95

00:42:52.360 challenge and it seems like your life is pretty sick you know tonight stony is getting 12 blow jobs and 0.89

00:43:00.780 then he gets his 12 blow jobs he's like this is the greatest night ever then the next video is like

00:43:04.840 the economy is crashing pick a lane like you can't like yeah it cost me 13 more to fill up my 1.00

00:43:14.780 maserati this country's going to shit and it's like shut up yeah but i i agree with you and i agree 0.99

00:43:23.280 with them because if you and and you probably would if you were rich too because you'd be like 1.00

00:43:27.040 fuck i thought i was rich yeah why is it so expensive to be you know yeah it is expensive 0.95

00:43:34.300 why is it so expensive doing seven homes well yeah that's my thing is like i think there should 0.99

00:43:39.740 be a law if you don't have someone living in the home you don't get the home like this idea where

00:43:45.880 it's so hard to be a homeowner of seven homes nowadays used to be so much easier it's like but

00:43:51.320 why do you need seven homes sometimes i want to go to paris for a week

00:43:54.560 yeah i don't know why i just have this maybe it's like uh the the jewish half of me that's like

00:44:01.380 sometimes you gotta own a couple of properties yeah yeah i mean maybe you want to airbnb them but 0.98

00:44:07.040 like i get what you mean if you're just don't give a shit but then that fucks the economy because like 0.97

00:44:12.180 so much of the economy like the majority of people buying homes are just rich people buying homes for 0.99

00:44:16.540 fun yeah that's what happened to austin when everybody was flooding austin but very few people

00:44:21.780 own homes and don't make money off them in some way dude the apartment i live in because i remember

00:44:27.160 looking at the same apartment i live in now when first moved to austin when the influx was happening

00:44:32.600 it was 1250 a month it's a shithole studio apartment it's like 400 square feet it's small right and now

00:44:40.780 i'm paying 750 in just two years difference and less no it's just 750 now which is like normal for

00:44:50.200 that kind of but like that's i think because they realized oh we need tenants so if you don't allow

00:44:59.340 rich people just to hoard homes i think housing prices would go down and more people could afford

00:45:04.280 homes but if you're just allowing rich people to buy buy buy or like these corporations like blackrock

00:45:10.180 to just buy properties that's why it's so expensive to buy a home nowadays yeah because it also makes it

00:45:16.640 cheaper to rent true and like why does anybody like i get owning a home like every month it's like

00:45:22.720 you're putting money into a bank account and it's like you're saving that money to maybe sell it but

00:45:28.460 you're also risking a lot and then you're focused on i have to pay this house off versus just being

00:45:34.340 like i rent i don't care it's an expense it's a life expense yeah or business like if you like do what 0.78

00:45:40.780 we do you can write off most of your rent is like yeah i fucking have a home office 0.97

00:45:44.700 yeah but i think most people just want something that they're this is mine oh i can pass this down

00:45:50.580 to my kids this is like you know i don't have once it's paid off i don't have to worry about this this 0.98

00:45:55.880 is like my thing yeah but the problem is that for fucking the they're not worth more anymore i know 0.97

00:46:02.620 it's like i bought it for 700 and then my kid got it it was worth 400 yeah it's like well then why 0.98

00:46:09.200 don't you just fucking rent and then focus on making other money and putting money into i think 0.92

00:46:15.460 it's just safety tesla tesla so why can you look up why elon and trump are fighting like 0.99

00:46:23.400 it's because he fired trump basically fired him from doge oh sorry and um because i want them to

00:46:30.700 be friends this is gonna fuck up a lot of things 0.87

00:46:33.740 trump must feud wow they just don't look like they should be friends

00:46:44.460 they look like you can you go look at that picture again real quick can you go up you know

00:46:50.700 back in the day when your your mom you're like there's an ad for ridge wall yeah when you like 0.61

00:46:55.840 your mom was friends with someone and she's like we're going to fucking tracy's house and be nice to 0.99

00:47:03.120 kevin kevin sucks kevin's like annoyed like he like picks his fucking nose and it's gross mom 0.99

00:47:10.800 yeah but like i want to hang out with tracy so you got to hang out with kevin just like 0.99

00:47:14.720 just play xbox yeah but he like cheat like this is what it looks like where it's like two kids that

00:47:20.260 don't like each other but are forced to hang out look at him he's like do you like this movie yeah 0.99

00:47:26.320 sure trump i like this movie shut up can you stop talking about the movie i'm watching the goddamn movie 0.98

00:47:32.060 well i think trump was desperate to win and he was willing to do anything and i don't think he 0.99

00:47:37.500 really thought through what it would mean to bring elon on and then act like you know this guy's my 0.95

00:47:45.940 little bitch and elon's like bro i'm the like straight up the richest guy in the world like i don't 1.00

00:47:50.020 give a fuck like you know what i mean it's like i'm the first south african president of the united 0.99

00:47:55.200 states thought that through the immediate trigger was musk's one big beautiful bill act 1.00

00:48:02.360 he called it a disgusting abomination

00:48:04.780 oh because of the 2.4 trillion increase that is funny to be like you're gonna

00:48:11.800 the immediate trigger was musk's vehement opposition to trump's signature legislation the one

00:48:18.680 big beautiful bill act which is i can't even believe that's actually what he called it musk

00:48:25.120 criticized it's the one big beautiful act musk criticized the bill as a disgusting abomination

00:48:32.880 due to its projected 2.4 trillion increase to the national deficit and its cuts to electric ev tax

00:48:39.820 credits which directly impact tesla he also condemned the bill for preserving fossil fuel subsidies while

00:48:45.200 slashing clean energy incentives trump responded by accusing musk of self-interest suggesting that

00:48:51.020 musk's opposition was driven by the bill's negative effects on his business he further retaliated by

00:48:56.980 threatening to revoke government contracts and subsidies for musk's companies including spacex okay

00:49:01.980 this is getting bad those are good companies we don't we want to go to mars no no i don't know

00:49:08.900 should we stop with that i think no i just think it's is it fake no i just think it's silly

00:49:14.020 it's mars fake i think it's silly to go to go we got to cut spending and then to go yeah like give

00:49:20.320 me more that's i think the hypocrisy is that idea of cut spending but then when he wants but it's

00:49:26.920 also when he wants but when he wants government money he just goes but why isn't the piggy bank open

00:49:33.160 for me i think it's it's that's i think what people don't like about musk where it's you almost made 0.93

00:49:38.920 him sound indian for so i thought he was a stinky uber guy yes hello why do you have my money for 0.99

00:49:45.220 my day i am elon musk i like i have many children i have 12 children i have 12 children why does he

00:49:53.680 like the problem is that the environment apparently is getting worse so that's why the evs were

00:50:00.800 started in the first place and you know the ethical questions around like is it like if somebody's

00:50:07.180 trying to make money off something that's bettering society yeah but they're still trying to make

00:50:12.000 money off it's not like they're like you know his things like yeah i'm just trying to trying to make

00:50:16.820 things better but it's like bro you're also trying to be the richest man in the world which is cool

00:50:20.480 and fine but my point is like if you like if you the environment doesn't matter in this feud at all

00:50:31.640 but it's going to be interesting for the people on the left because they're going to be like well

00:50:35.220 you know this is why i liked you on the first place you know he cares about the environment

00:50:41.680 or whatever because that's obviously what he's gonna that's his angle here yeah i think republicans

00:50:47.620 realize i don't know man this is so weird it's so weird i can't wait to see what happens it's just 0.93

00:50:52.100 it's all a shit show i don't really care i did my my whole thing's like i like the 51st state 0.87

00:50:59.380 what's rfk jr is just in the corner so many guys like i feel like trump just says don't don't do 0.99

00:51:08.080 any interviews like he basically just tells everybody like you can't do shit yeah and 0.84

00:51:12.300 rfk jr is just like mcdonald's 0.81

00:51:14.680 mcdonald's still bad jd vance might run though he'll probably be he could be the next president

00:51:22.300 yeah you think he would he's going to yeah you think him and some woman tulsi gabbard or

00:51:29.440 something that'd be cool yeah and then i think the democrat i think the leading guy right now is

00:51:34.460 pete budich edge is that the gay guy is it he's he's like going up in the polls see i don't think

00:51:41.700 gays should be allowed to i'm just kidding you've been watching ben shapiro videos gay people's 0.97

00:51:48.780 anatomy i mean i don't know i do feel like gay people don't procreate 0.97

00:51:55.300 so like they shouldn't have

00:51:59.600 i mean i'm joking but there is like a weird thing there is like a weird thing when i you know gay 0.95

00:52:07.460 people are like doctors explain yourself just like pediatrician we went to a pediatrician who

00:52:19.480 was gay and i was like what do you why why i i don't you know what i mean no i don't like i don't 0.91

00:52:27.440 know like i know i don't like pediatrician should be a woman who has a family or guy who has a family 1.00

00:52:32.940 no no no no there's too much emotion yeah yeah a gay doctor is just like you want just a fucking 1.00

00:52:39.760 gay pediatrician talking to your two-year-old being like sony and fyaing 1.00

00:52:44.460 fuck that fuck that 1.00

00:52:49.040 so oh like literally the first thing he did was touch my kid's dick there's a baby i took a baby 1.00

00:52:57.640 there and he literally he went like this with the dick he like folded it over to the other side 0.99

00:53:04.360 that was the first thing he did because they're like get the baby naked put it down and the baby's 0.99

00:53:10.140 there he's like let's take a look here's this cock and here's this ball looks great like what the 0.99

00:53:16.960 fuck is this i'm sorry but like am i a bad person because i don't like that and that's why i voted for 1.00

00:53:26.020 jd vance jd vance said no more gay doctors what do you want you can either have uh gay doctors and 0.99

00:53:34.900 weed or no gay doctors no weed then i wouldn't care but it is crazy it's crazy to be like 1.00

00:53:44.340 yeah our pediatrician's a gay guy for our baby he looks at our baby's cock 1.00

00:53:50.080 i don't think he likes your baby's cock 1.00

00:53:53.900 if you were there and then like the conversation we'd be having on the way back like the walk back 1.00

00:54:00.900 to the car you'd be like kind of looked at your baby's cock for a while there that was a little 0.99

00:54:05.740 but again that's you know one stinky uber doesn't 1.00

00:54:11.080 one gay pediatrician staring at my baby's cock 1.00

00:54:17.680 it doesn't really was your baby laughing um no it was crying 1.00

00:54:23.740 even your baby was just like my gravy was like i'm being molested in front of you 1.00

00:54:28.300 by a gay dog and you're you're not even being a man father 1.00

00:54:32.040 no and i'm just i'm just like being a man father and stepping up what's wrong with this dick why 1.00

00:54:36.520 do you really do you have to do that 0.99

00:54:39.540 give me a minute

00:54:43.660 so bad but i don't know there's certain things like that's not

00:54:50.360 listen i don't actually care though like i don't think yeah that all of that's a joke

00:54:56.620 but uh to an extent yeah yeah but yeah but at least we at least we got that at least we got

00:55:04.280 comedy we can just feel like maybe it maybe good night maybe my baby got molested yeah thank you

00:55:14.260 good night that's that's a wild take yeah i think yeah i think he was just trying to check out 0.99

00:55:20.140 see if your baby's balls and testicles were all right but it was just the way i don't know 0.99

00:55:26.120 like the way he like handled it like it was like a little 0.99

00:55:31.040 like he pinched it like that with his pinkies oh did you want him to go like that i don't know 0.99

00:55:37.580 like uh touch your child's penis maybe like that maybe like that like you know like with the back 0.99

00:55:44.700 of the hand kind of like flick it over like tsa yeah like this yeah yeah no but you know what i mean 0.99

00:55:52.600 kind of like i don't i don't know is that the does that what they go to med school they go to ut med 0.99

00:55:58.220 school they go take the baby dick like this and look the parents right in the eye and go i'm 0.99

00:56:02.800 molesting a child 1.00

00:56:03.760 is that what they maybe i think yeah i think you were overthinking all i'm saying is that we need 0.98

00:56:12.720 a um just straight whites only area only straight people and whites no whites and blacks and that's

00:56:20.460 it i think whites and blacks and then everybody else kind of mexicans are cool

00:56:27.000 like mexicans i do too but you know you let in one yeah mexicans are really cool yeah and then

00:56:39.400 they go do you mind if my cousin got me and then his cousin what's your deal with mexicans you're 1.00

00:56:44.580 from canada i don't think you guys have mexicans exactly that's the one thing here and it's a

00:56:50.420 culture that's the one thing i miss it's the no mexicans what do you miss about canada um

00:56:56.420 now that you're in the greatest country in the world probably just what i was talking about earlier

00:57:04.260 and just like the the setups like with like the dispos and stuff like that but like other than

00:57:10.700 that really not much really no what was toronto specifically has good food and stuff but i kind of

00:57:17.540 i i i just don't i couldn't be there right now um why not

00:57:25.260 i mean the mayor of toronto who i've made fun of before and she's but she's know who you are i think

00:57:34.720 she does but she's just like so it's like so over the top crazy that if you're there you can't really

00:57:41.480 escape it like here no i honestly don't know who the mayor is of austin i i have i've asked people

00:57:47.140 several times i never remember the name i don't know what they look like you know i like that you

00:57:52.620 know i'm saying like i don't need to live in a place because can remember you're talking about

00:57:55.580 all the the um those like talking heads getting super famous and yeah whatever it's the same for

00:58:02.040 the politicians they all got so famous especially in canada they got they're just famous yeah where 0.82

00:58:08.240 everybody knows the mayor of every city and everybody knows the fucking it's weird so anytime 0.95

00:58:13.160 so she's now playing into it she wears like feathery outfits she has the chinese accent she's like drunk 1.00

00:58:19.860 she's just she's drunk she well she looks kind of drunk and she she just recently made a video and

00:58:25.880 everybody wants me to make this video into one of my videos we can pull it up the most recent video

00:58:31.780 she pledged to give four hundred thousand dollars to the gay pride parade if you go on x and just search

00:58:39.700 olivia chow she'll uh the the newest video will come up but um people are like rattled about this

00:58:47.600 that she's that she's offered to because basically like home depot and all these companies pulled out

00:58:53.640 of the pride parade yeah because it's just the toronto one's like so extreme with like so much

00:58:59.100 yeah this is a

00:59:00.880 toronto have lost some corporate sponsor because they just don't know who they are huh they're short-sighted

00:59:11.600 they don't know who they are and the first round of corporate cuts about three hundred thousand

00:59:19.780 dollars the city of the one guy laughed you know what we're gonna come to the table we will provide

00:59:25.940 a grant that is 350 000 and every year for five years 62 percent increasing the funding by 2027

00:59:37.800 so this and people are people are like how can you make fun of this woman like you know what i mean 1.00

00:59:44.860 like she literally has a strong chinese accent she sounds drunk and she's wearing a feathery 0.98

00:59:51.620 i love her cabinet though her what her cabinet yeah santa claus i don't that's like park i don't 0.98

00:59:58.580 know what that is that's part of the pride yeah i have no idea what the fuck any of this is and

01:00:03.820 people are like make fun of this i'm like but but if in toronto like like if i live there this is all

01:00:09.740 i would do yeah because it's like what else it's just it's part of the reality and it's so nice to be 0.89

01:00:14.920 away from it but then i see it and i'm like fuck this would be good but she's also sounds so chinese 0.79

01:00:20.580 it's not even funny if i dub it anymore because she well that was fucking hilarious yeah like 1.00

01:00:26.140 does it get better than that we will provide a grant that is 350 000 i don't i can't do but she stole 0.93

01:00:33.740 my act did she not sound as chinese back in the day no she didn't she like started sounding more and

01:00:41.420 more chinese recently because she saw my videos i talk about this i'm gonna put it put out a little

01:00:46.900 mini special soon uh in the next like two three weeks and um well we're in a week we're gonna

01:00:53.460 announce it but uh officially but and i do a whole bit about it but basically yeah she saw the videos

01:00:59.740 before she was sounding like very like hello everybody i have a little tiny bit of it and then

01:01:08.400 she saw how you know me be like

01:01:10.980 and now she's i think she's like an alcoholic and she's sad about those videos and now she just

01:01:20.640 sounds more chinese on purpose play it again keep playing it

01:01:26.140 and every year for five years what's the hand motion this is

01:01:32.080 increasing the funding by 2027

01:01:36.980 so they're just gonna make gay pride

01:01:41.800 i'm gonna have to dub this one i'm gonna have to go home and do this bro she has the burger king 0.98

01:02:02.460 and like fucking juice world behind her it's crazy this is so why why people like why don't you want 0.98

01:02:08.780 to move back so they're they're funding it because the corporations backed out yeah so now taxpayers 0.96

01:02:15.520 have to pay for the pride parade in toronto yeah which uh why did the corporations back yeah 0.97

01:02:20.780 because trump got rid of the dei shit and they're all american corporations so they're like yeah no 0.97

01:02:28.940 we're not approving that because like the canadian you know the ceo of home depo canada 0.99

01:02:35.920 yeah but he still fucking answers to some yeah they're like yeah we're not we don't do that 0.99

01:02:41.580 shit anymore which is kind of sick wow makes me want to go to home depot 0.99

01:02:45.880 makes me want to go get a sub at home depot you ever get us you ever i don't know if they do this 0.99

01:02:52.240 in the states i've never been to american home depot but in canada they would have

01:02:55.520 like a there's a canadian burger joint called harvey's they would have them in home depots

01:03:01.300 and and subways wow do they have that here no you can't get a sub at home depot no we kind of like

01:03:07.180 we keep our sandwich and house house building separate house building separate church and

01:03:13.820 finally somewhere for the mexicans to work the subway and the home depot yeah the mexicans were just 1.00

01:03:20.560 eating all the swami can we have another can we do one more lone star yeah that's crazy 0.95

01:03:26.180 you want to do one i'll do one more we're at an hour i'm just letting you know okay so

01:03:30.580 don't miss can i've never been to can i've been to niagara falls and that's about it

01:03:36.680 dude i miss like the people that i know and like certain things but 0.95

01:03:41.060 fuck man it's just you just saw with that it's to live in that it's different to watch that for 1.00

01:03:47.940 america and be like look how fucking stupid they are is it that crazy it's that crazy there's like 1.00

01:03:53.340 protests every fucking like four times a week all like everybody's just up in arms about 1.00

01:03:58.880 everything everything the jews are and then the palestinians and then the indians are marching and 0.98

01:04:05.040 then the the other the other indians are marching against those indians because the 0.99

01:04:09.560 sikhs and the it's like what the fuck is everybody doing here like just fucking chill yeah but it's not 0.97

01:04:17.400 and it's just yeah so and then drake got attacked and then that problem yeah that was uh 0.99

01:04:24.160 that was rough i mean but canada's they're so ruth like they'll turn pretty quick what do you mean

01:04:32.060 like canada recently has started backing its people more than it ever did in the sense that 1.00

01:04:41.440 like bieber when bieber was popular canadians canadians were like yeah he's a fucking pussy 0.99

01:04:49.360 kind of thing which is you know a lot of people said that but like it wasn't like they were like 1.00

01:04:54.960 hey he's canada you know he's one he's our guy they didn't give a fuck same thing with when drake was 0.96

01:05:00.780 you know a lot of canadians are like oh drake that's shit music they didn't support him you know 0.97

01:05:06.280 what i mean like he he got more support in america what i'm saying is that when canadians 0.94

01:05:10.400 go to america and americans support them then canadians then canadians will be like okay like

01:05:15.820 you know bieber obviously like jim carrey and like john candy and stuff okay but that's also because

01:05:21.800 there's just a ceiling of what you can accomplish there there's not you know trailer park boys did 1.00

01:05:26.760 pretty good but i mean if they had done that same stuff in the states they'd probably be worth way

01:05:32.940 more and probably bigger empire that's true i'm re-watching it right now it's a great show it is

01:05:38.200 a really really top five sitcoms of all time were they famous before the before they hit the states

01:05:44.960 before the states got a hold of them even yeah so certain guys like canada like i was lucky enough

01:05:51.940 to have like a canadian following before u.s following you know what i mean but that's new that's

01:05:57.940 like a new thing in the last like five ten years that they've been willing to i mean trailer park boys

01:06:02.280 do you know them i've met them a long time ago are they sweet uh they're cool they're like

01:06:08.020 they're just like they are in the show pretty much except not really i mean the guy who plays

01:06:13.920 bubbles is like weirdly like this like super intellectual guy oh that's cool yeah he's just

01:06:18.400 like hello how are you i play bubbles it's kind of over the top yeah yeah that's cool i went to a

01:06:27.700 premiere of a movie one of their movies have you ever seen the movies they've done yeah with

01:06:31.920 with like the trailer park boy movies yeah i forget what one of them they have the one called

01:06:36.580 the movie then they have the christmas special and then they have another one the other it's the

01:06:41.380 other one where it's like they create their own youtube in the movie yeah it's like only them being

01:06:50.300 like ricky's gonna fucking do it i don't know it's pretty funny it's like it doesn't make any sense now 0.86

01:06:55.620 that like social media exists but the way it does but it was it was cool we got to meet them 0.94

01:07:00.940 they did like the q a it was like a premiere that i got to that it because a friend of

01:07:05.960 you're american now premiere is it premiere yeah it's not premier not premier no

01:07:11.540 holy shit not in my country it's not is it zed what's zed that's how can i say z zed yeah 0.86

01:07:22.300 yeah it's not horrible yeah it's awful you don't like that no i don't like something what's zed's 0.98

01:07:28.360 dead you never heard of the zed's dead yeah zed is a name zed zed dd why do that why that's weird 1.00

01:07:35.400 where it's like yo why are we saying it different because you guys are fucked you guys are fucked and 0.99

01:07:41.900 we're gonna take it dude it was so funny because canadians are kind of silly especially the canadians 1.00

01:07:48.520 that come to the mothership sometimes where uh these guys had canada is not for sale hats on 0.96

01:07:55.040 and then i was like oh so you guys like support biden and i know we like trump and i'm like that's 0.97

01:08:00.240 the fucker that wants to buy y'all yeah and they're like really and i was like yeah you guys 1.00

01:08:08.300 are idiots that's what's so sad is everybody's just so confused it's the the only like logical option 1.00

01:08:14.100 is to stand very far back and start watching what's going on what's your opinion if when you 1.00

01:08:19.300 see like a 20 or 30 year old wearing a maga hat i i feel sad for them because i i go wear a wear like

01:08:28.040 a cowboys hat or a you know a hockey team or a like a music label like why you're like you're 30

01:08:37.000 and you're wearing a politician's hat makes me sad it same with like when i see like a 20 or 30

01:08:45.600 when i see a 20 or 30 year old wearing like a i would never wear kamala let her speak kamala 0.92

01:08:51.480 you know i think there was a time like right before like leading up to the election like it was kind of

01:08:56.980 more popular and acceptable too because it was kind of like everybody got like rah rah like a

01:09:03.200 little bit for but so and you know and then the liberals like wear the masks or wear whatever they 0.99

01:09:09.440 wear um so it's like yeah people just wear dumb shit but like it's like they don't even know really 0.99

01:09:17.760 why but that's like the canadians were like well we like trump but then trump tried to buy us so now 0.99

01:09:22.640 we're like canada but like we want trump but it's like bro like it's sad it's just sad and there's

01:09:30.900 too many fucking indian people in the country i like indian people what is not here in canada yeah 1.00

01:09:38.920 i heard there a lot in canada but it's not even like and that's the thing is like i don't actually 0.99

01:09:43.020 say that as like a bad thing like

01:09:44.860 like like there's too many not like because like wait i don't like them but just like there's

01:09:51.800 legitimately like like crowds of people on the streets like there's too many people

01:10:00.520 like even if they had that many white people standing around we'd be like why are white people

01:10:05.040 but if you put it in the perspective of the indian people for for you as a white canadian you know

01:10:11.440 there's too many people on the street put it in the perspective of the indian they're like 0.97

01:10:15.340 there's nobody on these streets compared to india right compared to india they're like this is

01:10:21.940 fantastic but the problem is it like this is crazy i mean the problem i don't have this problem

01:10:27.980 necessarily the people who have the problem like so like people say like i was joking when i said

01:10:35.100 there's too many indians like it's i mean i'm not but i was trying to get a laugh but 1.00

01:10:40.980 but people who legitimately think that and then you'll be like bro like that's the difference between

01:10:49.920 american canada where like american people like this is a problem that problem you're like eh i know

01:10:54.180 but in canada it's like no there's too many indians and then you walk outside you're like 0.94

01:10:57.400 whoa what the fuck you know i'm saying yeah but are you like scared it's because it's not like just 0.99

01:11:07.020 families and shit it's just like hordes of men everywhere yeah you know i'm saying it's like 1.00

01:11:12.980 you don't want to do things like imagine sixth street was all indians well there's nights they have 1.00

01:11:22.440 there's some nights yeah yeah i don't i don't go out on those nights i don't know i i think hordes

01:11:29.980 of people i don't like big hordes of people in general that's my thing no like you're there's too

01:11:36.160 many just people people all i'm saying is the too many for what and it's too many to have whatever the

01:11:45.960 country was before and i get that it's like this is what the country is now we're changing it yeah but

01:11:51.040 nobody had a say in that yeah so it does feel crazy yeah and now obviously the housing prices are

01:11:58.460 like way up because i hear toronto's pretty expensive right toronto's expensive yeah it's

01:12:03.100 like as expensive as austin or more wow yeah it's crazy so it's gonna be okay it's going down though

01:12:12.220 medium price of rent is 2300 that's pretty crazy but it's gonna be all right we're gonna be okay

01:12:19.800 they only want to tell you

01:12:21.740 approximately 3000 yeah it's been going down so right now it's like the like if i spent what i'm

01:12:30.440 spending here in toronto i could have like a nice spot but i couldn't have like a backyard i could have

01:12:35.620 like a big deck you'd have like a condo it's very much a condo city like so is austin but not really

01:12:40.920 yeah there's way more condos in toronto than there than here but no they don't stink but

01:12:48.880 but this is what i'm saying is i don't want to be racist like i genuinely and like i don't like

01:12:56.420 one-on-one like if i meet an indian guy and you know we have a moment i'd be like you know i have

01:13:01.400 i have a joke about this where i'm like you know my thing is i'll meet it i can meet an indian guy and 0.79

01:13:07.600 have like a great company and then all of a sudden i'm like i fucking love these people but then one 0.77

01:13:11.280 guy will like stink and i'm like i fucking get rid of them all kind of thing you know what i'm saying 0.99

01:13:17.240 which is fucked up but what kind of childhood i have a lot of i have a lot of indian fans what 0.98

01:13:23.420 kind of childhood did you have growing up 0.99

01:13:25.280 not a stinky one

01:13:29.160 two-parent household 0.66

01:13:32.600 yeah for the most part

01:13:34.360 12 or 13 i forget when they

01:13:37.600 separate 10 11 something like that

01:13:39.920 yeah

01:13:40.180 good

01:13:41.900 they still like each other

01:13:43.860 well my mom's dead

01:13:45.500 oh i'm sorry

01:13:46.500 yeah

01:13:47.240 how'd she die

01:13:48.140 uh

01:13:49.020 dementia

01:13:49.940 oh wow

01:13:51.080 pancreatic cancer 1.00

01:13:52.340 damn 1.00

01:13:53.280 yeah 0.99

01:13:53.960 like last year

01:13:55.220 oh i'm sorry

01:13:56.440 i'm sorry

01:13:58.100 no 0.98

01:13:58.840 i mean she was retarded for like four years so we needed her to die 1.00

01:14:02.540 like i don't 0.52

01:14:04.120 like it was sad like i mean you know you get you get over these things

01:14:11.240 like yeah

01:14:11.660 no but my mom i was telling my wife this i was making her laugh the other day i'm like

01:14:16.020 you know every time i get sad about my mom being dead and then i remember how much she fed me

01:14:20.080 like mcdonald's when i was like too young for that and got so fat as a kid and got bullied i'm like 1.00

01:14:25.200 yeah she's a fucking bitch 1.00

01:14:26.400 because i wasn't by her bedside when she died i was uh i was uh uh stand-up new york and connect 1.00

01:14:35.420 and i remember calling my dad my dad's like seven years younger than my mom and i was like you know she's about to die

01:14:43.140 like you know i'm fit the filipinos holding the phone to facetime her and she's just sitting there like 0.93

01:14:48.100 just shitting her pants 1.00

01:14:52.080 and um and i'm like i have like screenshots every time 0.99

01:14:56.900 i have screenshots of her wanting to die so bad

01:15:04.960 sitting in a wheelchair with this filipino filmed it and be like are you going to come

01:15:10.080 say back to your mother

01:15:11.200 i'm like

01:15:12.720 no i'm doing i'm living my dream

01:15:15.600 solano and 20 tickets tonight what do you know about that

01:15:19.680 seats 240

01:15:21.220 anyway

01:15:21.920 but for real though like you're like yo yo my fans are here

01:15:29.660 mom

01:15:30.320 mom 0.99

01:15:31.040 but uh i told my dad i'm like you know fuck should i after the show tomorrow i have two days off 0.97

01:15:38.700 like i was just gonna stay here and do spots but like should i go back and he's just like 0.94

01:15:43.760 no

01:15:44.940 you know like they were divorced for a long time but

01:15:48.120 but he was kind of right

01:15:50.240 my dad's a musician he's like he's like soviet from the soviet union so he's like the show must go on

01:15:56.700 really

01:15:57.320 kind of thing

01:15:58.120 your dad's russian

01:15:58.780 uh lithuanian but he was it was russia

01:16:01.240 it was technically russia when he lived there he speaks russian 0.99

01:16:03.940 holy fuck 1.00

01:16:04.840 fluently and shit 1.00

01:16:05.660 reads it writes and shit 1.00

01:16:07.020 oh that makes sense 0.99

01:16:08.160 you make sense now

01:16:09.680 yeah

01:16:10.300 you have that russian flair that cold russian flair

01:16:13.480 well he's like they're lithuanian they don't like that

01:16:16.120 like if you say to him like you're russian they're like

01:16:18.220 you think you think this is russian

01:16:23.380 you think because i said that you can make russian name russian

01:16:29.120 and i go yes sir

01:16:32.320 but they're uh they're not they're like slightly different

01:16:34.760 oh

01:16:35.280 like it's latvia lithuania or lithuania and estonia

01:16:39.560 so like oh so your dad's like ari maddie

01:16:42.480 my dad's like uh

01:16:43.960 he's like an old ari maddie 0.99

01:16:45.520 no but he's jewish

01:16:46.720 oh wow 0.98

01:16:47.860 so it's like evil 0.99

01:16:49.040 are you jewish 0.98

01:16:53.360 i mean he is

01:16:54.840 but you're not

01:16:55.560 i didn't have a bar mitzvah i didn't

01:16:57.020 why not

01:16:58.080 he didn't have one either

01:16:59.940 can we throw you a bar mitzvah

01:17:01.140 that'd be fun

01:17:01.800 can we do like a podcast bar mitzvah for you

01:17:03.980 that'd be fun

01:17:04.180 my yeah

01:17:04.880 my uh

01:17:06.040 he doesn't have

01:17:07.360 yeah

01:17:07.840 that'd be great

01:17:08.640 read the torah you know 1.00

01:17:10.220 get a full rabbi in and shit 0.99

01:17:12.180 yeah 1.00

01:17:12.560 that'd be sick 0.86

01:17:13.140 that'd actually be pretty cool

01:17:14.320 my thing is

01:17:15.420 he wasn't bar mitzvah because his parents were like holocaust survivors

01:17:19.600 and they

01:17:21.120 basically after the holocaust 0.66

01:17:23.620 were like yeah we're not

01:17:24.760 we don't do that anymore

01:17:26.640 that kind of thing

01:17:27.660 because they're too afraid

01:17:28.680 oh they were scared yeah

01:17:30.040 because they had had two children

01:17:31.680 um before the holocaust 0.89

01:17:33.800 and they were like murdered

01:17:35.080 whoa

01:17:35.960 i was like babies

01:17:37.580 they would just like take the babies in the night or whatever 0.97

01:17:39.540 and like

01:17:39.980 never see them again

01:17:41.680 um

01:17:42.580 that was like before they were in the concentration camps

01:17:44.920 like they would just be in like the ghettos 1.00

01:17:46.420 and they would just like raid the ghettos 0.80

01:17:48.380 and like go in and like take

01:17:49.640 like the

01:17:50.360 kids

01:17:51.260 that's great

01:17:52.220 babies

01:17:52.480 and like use their blood for like blood transfusion

01:17:55.220 for like the troops at the front line 0.99

01:17:56.760 and shit 0.99

01:17:57.080 um 1.00

01:17:58.320 so they would 1.00

01:17:59.320 that's how they would kill them 1.00

01:18:00.300 and then after that 0.58

01:18:02.300 my grandparents were like separated

01:18:04.420 and did different concentration camps

01:18:05.840 and then

01:18:06.360 they both like

01:18:07.380 did different jobs

01:18:08.500 and they escaped

01:18:09.060 they like somehow escaped

01:18:10.220 which i could tell you the stories

01:18:12.180 if you want

01:18:12.760 please do

01:18:13.340 but i don't know if we have time

01:18:14.760 but

01:18:15.080 we're at an hour 18

01:18:16.560 yeah

01:18:17.000 he's like uh

01:18:18.060 the holocaust didn't happen 1.00

01:18:19.720 there's the end of the story

01:18:22.280 tell us one of the stories

01:18:24.720 um

01:18:25.280 well like so my grandfather put

01:18:27.000 apparently

01:18:27.520 i mean

01:18:27.860 i don't know if

01:18:28.880 you know

01:18:29.400 i don't know

01:18:30.000 yeah

01:18:30.400 it's all fake

01:18:31.460 uh

01:18:33.200 he put bombs on airplanes

01:18:34.520 for like the nazis

01:18:35.780 yeah

01:18:36.380 that's what they would have

01:18:37.320 some of

01:18:38.160 you know

01:18:38.760 the men do

01:18:40.280 whatever

01:18:40.600 and then my grandmother

01:18:42.080 sewed

01:18:43.120 like nazi uniforms

01:18:44.180 like they would

01:18:44.620 force other jews 1.00

01:18:45.860 so like sew

01:18:46.440 yeah

01:18:46.980 it's basically slavery

01:18:48.140 and then

01:18:49.240 they after

01:18:50.540 like

01:18:51.400 like for my grandfather

01:18:53.880 like okay

01:18:54.720 we're kind of losing the war 1.00

01:18:55.860 so we're just gonna kill these people 1.00

01:18:57.100 and we're gonna get out of here 1.00

01:18:58.260 and so they like

01:18:59.500 tried to take them

01:19:00.180 into the forest

01:19:00.820 to just like 0.97

01:19:01.320 they would just shoot 0.99

01:19:01.980 a lot of people 0.97

01:19:02.700 um

01:19:03.880 like they would just line them up

01:19:05.140 and like 1.00

01:19:05.420 shoot them in the 1.00

01:19:06.120 into like a grave 1.00

01:19:07.180 and then like

01:19:07.720 cover it

01:19:08.400 and whatever

01:19:08.880 yeah

01:19:09.340 so they like ran away

01:19:10.800 before the car stopped

01:19:12.120 and then

01:19:13.080 they ran for like weeks 0.99

01:19:14.620 or some shit 1.00

01:19:15.260 holy fuck 1.00

01:19:16.040 to like Russia 1.00

01:19:16.980 cause they were that close

01:19:18.960 and then when they got to the Russian

01:19:21.220 not Russia

01:19:21.860 but the front

01:19:22.540 cause they were coming into Lithuania

01:19:24.620 as well

01:19:25.540 that's how they took it over

01:19:27.260 and then

01:19:28.200 so but then they got to the front

01:19:29.720 and they were like

01:19:30.220 the Russians were like 1.00

01:19:30.860 we're gonna kill you 0.99

01:19:31.560 we think we're German spies 1.00

01:19:32.840 and then some guy had to

01:19:34.100 like show

01:19:34.980 like a passport

01:19:35.700 was like sewn into his jacket

01:19:37.520 that he was

01:19:38.140 like from some

01:19:38.820 you know Lithuania

01:19:39.880 or whatever

01:19:40.400 so then they let them in

01:19:42.300 and then my grandfather

01:19:43.100 he was a barber

01:19:43.980 so he just like cut hair

01:19:45.300 for like all the guys

01:19:47.100 who would go and die

01:19:48.420 on the front 1.00

01:19:49.260 holy fuck 0.99

01:19:50.240 but he was yeah 1.00

01:19:50.940 pretty Jewy 1.00

01:19:51.620 that he would get like

01:19:52.300 so he would get like

01:19:53.340 the last supper every night

01:19:54.500 but I mean

01:19:55.460 he just escaped the Holocaust

01:19:56.500 so he kind of deserved it

01:19:58.100 but anyway

01:20:01.920 they were

01:20:02.620 you know

01:20:03.040 and then after

01:20:03.820 so

01:20:04.400 and my grandmother's story

01:20:05.920 is kind of just

01:20:07.040 you know

01:20:07.300 she was on a train

01:20:08.320 and the train stopped

01:20:10.420 and then she asked 0.99

01:20:12.900 like the fucking security yard 0.99

01:20:14.500 if she could just like 1.00

01:20:15.200 go to the bathroom

01:20:15.940 off the train

01:20:16.760 while it was stopped

01:20:17.560 they're all naked too

01:20:19.440 so then she was

01:20:20.660 like

01:20:21.060 she just kind of like

01:20:22.200 you know

01:20:22.500 you know

01:20:26.540 yeah 1.00

01:20:27.760 some bullshit 1.00

01:20:28.760 please 1.00

01:20:30.300 I will suck your dick 1.00

01:20:31.680 if you let me 1.00

01:20:32.400 I don't know what she was saying

01:20:33.340 but anyway

01:20:33.720 she got off

01:20:34.440 and then just like

01:20:36.080 the train started moving

01:20:37.080 so she just like

01:20:37.680 laid down

01:20:38.260 in like a field

01:20:39.020 like a cornfield type thing

01:20:40.360 wow

01:20:40.860 or like tall grass

01:20:42.400 and then

01:20:43.720 the guy didn't

01:20:45.200 the security guy

01:20:46.260 didn't say anything

01:20:47.020 because he was like

01:20:47.840 I'll get shot 0.89

01:20:48.660 for letting her do that 1.00

01:20:49.700 yeah

01:20:50.000 so then she just stayed there

01:20:51.620 and somebody saw it happen

01:20:52.800 they came and like

01:20:53.620 rescued her 0.76

01:20:54.340 and like

01:20:54.740 kept her in their house

01:20:56.420 for like six months

01:20:57.720 whoa

01:20:58.480 yeah

01:20:59.300 but then they went back

01:21:00.660 to the same city

01:21:01.520 and met each other

01:21:02.340 and had two more kids

01:21:03.500 and that was my dad

01:21:04.300 and my aunt

01:21:05.180 and then they were like

01:21:05.940 yeah we're not gonna

01:21:06.620 no more latkes

01:21:08.900 no more latkes

01:21:12.740 we're not bankesses anymore

01:21:13.860 no more menorahs

01:21:14.900 we're Johnson's

01:21:15.800 we're Johnson's name

01:21:18.080 I don't think they were

01:21:18.700 legally allowed to change names

01:21:20.000 because

01:21:20.460 like they wanted to

01:21:22.240 like the Russians wanted to know

01:21:23.420 if they were Jewish too

01:21:24.200 they put like Jew 0.97

01:21:25.120 they would have Jew 0.99

01:21:26.160 on their passports

01:21:27.000 really

01:21:27.300 yeah

01:21:27.780 wow

01:21:29.040 yeah Jews really 1.00

01:21:31.520 it's pretty sick 1.00

01:21:32.840 they get it rough

01:21:33.660 yeah

01:21:34.440 that's the story

01:21:38.180 I was told

01:21:39.020 like yeah

01:21:41.420 we've had a rough time

01:21:42.480 anyway

01:21:42.760 have you tried the wine

01:21:43.660 anyway

01:21:44.440 it's been horrible

01:21:45.880 have you tried the

01:21:46.760 did you like the

01:21:48.520 yeah

01:21:49.060 get filled

01:21:50.840 no I mean

01:21:53.940 Jews have done well

01:21:54.840 and they're smart

01:21:55.580 so they deserved it

01:21:57.340 my grandparents

01:21:59.180 deserved all that

01:22:00.120 but I was

01:22:05.100 you know

01:22:05.360 did they ever give you

01:22:07.260 like a bad like gift

01:22:08.380 and you're just like 1.00

01:22:09.180 fuck I wish you were 1.00

01:22:10.160 like grandparents 1.00

01:22:11.080 yeah

01:22:11.500 they were like dead

01:22:12.660 by the time I was like

01:22:13.620 sentient

01:22:14.240 oh

01:22:14.760 yeah

01:22:16.440 like my grandfather

01:22:17.660 died of something

01:22:18.660 and then my grandmother

01:22:19.660 had like Alzheimer's

01:22:20.900 yeah

01:22:21.840 just

01:22:22.600 so they died

01:22:23.540 when I was like

01:22:24.060 before I was like four

01:22:25.740 oh okay

01:22:26.620 yeah

01:22:27.200 I'm sorry

01:22:27.980 don't but dude

01:22:30.320 it's kind of funny

01:22:31.500 no

01:22:31.760 I wouldn't say

01:22:33.240 it's not like a lot

01:22:34.040 you have grandparents

01:22:34.680 like you grew up

01:22:35.360 with grandparents

01:22:35.880 yeah

01:22:36.440 my grandma just died

01:22:37.980 oh

01:22:38.560 yeah it was really

01:22:39.700 heartbreaking

01:22:40.240 oh

01:22:41.080 for me

01:22:42.280 that's why I'm

01:22:43.040 bringing emotion

01:22:43.640 I'm bringing emotion

01:22:44.880 to it

01:22:45.220 sorry

01:22:45.660 for me

01:22:46.220 that's a big deal

01:22:47.060 but for you

01:22:47.700 for you

01:22:48.180 it's just

01:22:49.340 another stink Uber

01:22:50.400 you just denied

01:22:52.480 your grandpa's story

01:22:53.840 about surviving

01:22:54.520 the Holocaust 0.82

01:22:55.040 but

01:22:55.580 yeah I'm like

01:22:56.540 yeah

01:22:56.780 my grandparents

01:22:58.100 my grandparents

01:22:58.780 were German

01:22:59.300 during the

01:22:59.960 they were probably

01:23:01.400 looking for them

01:23:02.660 yeah my grandparents 1.00

01:23:03.940 fucking fuck 1.00

01:23:04.840 your grandparents up 1.00

01:23:05.880 yeah

01:23:06.360 my grandma still

01:23:08.440 has a dress

01:23:09.540 that needs to be sewn

01:23:11.100 so maybe I can send

01:23:12.280 it to your dad's house

01:23:13.100 can you put a

01:23:16.260 swastika on this

01:23:17.360 yeah

01:23:17.940 got any more

01:23:21.060 of those gold stars

01:23:21.920 yeah

01:23:22.240 dude this is really

01:23:24.960 fun bro

01:23:25.500 this is great

01:23:26.040 thanks for having me

01:23:26.800 yeah

01:23:27.120 do you have any

01:23:27.800 I mean

01:23:28.560 you're a mothership

01:23:29.460 all the time

01:23:30.020 you can find me

01:23:31.000 at comedian

01:23:31.500 Tony Casillas

01:23:32.360 on Instagram

01:23:33.040 and then

01:23:33.940 I'm gonna be in

01:23:35.300 Vegas

01:23:35.820 June 20th

01:23:37.800 and 21st

01:23:38.500 headlining at

01:23:39.080 Wise Guys 0.99

01:23:39.800 fuck yeah 1.00

01:23:40.520 so come out to that 0.99

01:23:41.480 thank you bro

01:23:42.420 thank you for having me

01:23:43.240 thank you for coming on

01:23:44.160 come on again soon

01:23:45.460 that was really fun

01:23:46.240 I'm down

01:23:46.800 and please

01:23:48.260 yeah 1.00

01:23:48.980 all the other shit 0.99

01:23:49.780 I'll figure out 0.99

01:23:50.340 thank you for having me

01:23:51.800 thank you for having me

Bankas Podcast - June 17, 2025

Tony Casillas ｜ Bankas Podcast - #098

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