Bankas Podcast - June 17, 2025


Tony Casillas | Bankas Podcast - #098


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 23 minutes

Words per Minute

183.29393

Word Count

15,375

Sentence Count

5

Misogynist Sentences

37

Hate Speech Sentences

188


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the stinky stinky people ubers and the crazy things that happen when urinals smell like shit. We also talk about a guy who stole $5 worth of gas from a station and tried to move into my neighborhood.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 oh i just had the worst uber dude why i'm just trying to breathe the air the air is so good in
00:00:05.860 here compared to dude this fucking it was a stinky nigerian it was a fucking smelly like
00:00:13.000 it was just the worst i get in my wife made me a sandwich yeah and like a gatorade and a bat
00:00:20.280 and a target bag and i got in oh you're like her like 13 year old like little husband yeah
00:00:24.580 i like that she's like my little husband's going to podcast yeah yeah yeah my little husband's going
00:00:30.780 to do the show yeah no exactly but well it's you know it's nice it's it's a nice gesture but i put
00:00:37.580 it on the fucking seat and the guy was like can you not put it like he was like do not know what
00:00:44.880 did he ask me he goes is there liquid in that he goes is there liquid in that i'm like yeah yeah bro
00:00:53.100 hopefully i wish it was aerosol because i want to fucking spray some fucking lysol in your face
00:00:57.260 to be fair if he's from nigeria depending on how reason he got here he probably doesn't know what
00:01:03.320 water bottles what is he tsa he's like you need to empty your water bottle before you're getting a
00:01:10.220 uber the fuck it could be filled with gasoline fucking motherfuck and then he just smelled like
00:01:17.160 shit and then he that what i hate is when i have like poor people ubers and they come pick me up and
00:01:22.360 then they go this is a nice area what is he called how much is the rent i'm like too much for
00:01:28.180 you i lied i said it was like a fifteen hundred dollars more than it was so why because i don't
00:01:33.780 want him to move there i don't want him fucking every fucking uber move into my area because they're
00:01:41.700 like this is a nice area i wish i could live in an area like that he was like how much is it i was
00:01:48.340 like three three he was like three hundred thousand i was like no fucking three grand a month
00:01:54.380 and he's just like i could do that i can afford that i only have to drive 24 hour a day
00:02:01.580 seven day a week and then i can afford it oh my god dude it gave me a headache i legit have a
00:02:10.040 headache it smells like burning it smells like burning flesh whoa that's you know maybe that's
00:02:16.560 a side hustle just having a like really bad bo no he like burns like flesh like i don't know he's
00:02:23.840 like what is it like bring how you did i've been to fucking africans i did i've been to an african
00:02:31.020 house and the guy was boiling rocks in the fucking i'm not even joking why was he boiling rocks i asked
00:02:35.920 him he was like and he wasn't even that african he didn't have an accent but he was like oh yeah
00:02:40.020 it's like a thing we do i'm like bro for what to get rid of the smell i don't fucking know
00:02:46.840 i like the smell of a rock was he like a nice conversation at least no he was just trying to
00:02:52.900 move to my fucking neighborhood and then like right after he said that he's like i need to stop for gas
00:02:58.740 no he didn't he stopped for gas no he didn't he did during the uber ride yes how much did you tip
00:03:03.680 dude oh nothing i haven't even i'm gonna one star him and probably complain you're gonna one star
00:03:09.000 i might one star and be like this guy smells like shit and stop for gas maybe that's why he was asking
00:03:16.740 what's in the bottle he's like if there's gasoline please could i have it and then we don't he should
00:03:22.420 have been like the only way i would have accepted that uber he's like i am sorry i smell like shit
00:03:27.500 do you want to smoke inside did you get to eat your sandwich in the uber no i fucking didn't i
00:03:34.880 would have been fucking puked i don't even want to eat it now it probably smells like that guy's
00:03:39.580 fucking asshole so what was the smell can you describe the smell it smelled it's honestly smelled
00:03:44.940 like worse like you know when indians smell but that it was like less sweet yeah like an indian
00:03:53.540 stink is kind of like oh maybe they didn't want to eat something yeah but his stink was like bad like
00:03:59.200 it was just like a heavy yeah he did try to make conversation that that was the craziest part so he
00:04:04.000 goes into the gas station he's he stops for gas and it's like five minutes i'm look over i'm like
00:04:10.500 he's just staring at the machine and then i'm like i think he's gonna steal the gas like i think he just
00:04:16.000 filled his tank he's not gonna pay or something yeah then he gets in he's like dead one did not work
00:04:21.140 and he pulls to another pump and i'm like bro like i was kind of i was like bro like i'm kind of
00:04:28.660 like in a rut like right before he pulled in he's like are you in a rush i was like yeah
00:04:31.900 and he's like he took like 15 minutes at a gas station and then he he's like i only put five dollar
00:04:38.680 and then we're pulling out of the gas station he's like
00:04:41.800 elon musk and donald trump are mad at each other i'm like bro i'm interested in that but i don't want
00:04:49.800 to talk to you about it you know what i mean you've already ruined this how about fucking bathe
00:04:54.600 oh my god he obviously has shitty kids because his kids were writing all it was like a decently
00:05:01.520 nice car it was like a infinity or something like a lexus but his kids just rode all over the like
00:05:07.580 red leather seats with fucking pen on the back of the seats obviously or somebody did
00:05:13.320 like there was pen all over his car
00:05:15.620 this is this is when i get more did you get an uber with like a demon dude there's just red pen
00:05:24.180 everywhere dude no it was black pen on like a like a tan like like tan leather
00:05:29.560 he probably bought no i'm guessing he bought the car like that and he's like no i can maybe no i bet he
00:05:36.860 has shitty kids all those fucking ubers have shitty kids that's what makes me more racist sometimes
00:05:43.580 it's like i'll be like i'm not racist like i have friends who are you know black and chinese and
00:05:50.720 asian you know whatever like i do but then i see then out in the wild yeah i do international waters
00:05:59.960 you know fucking strip i don't think you're racist i think you just don't like bad people
00:06:05.500 like or bad people in general it's not racial i don't think it's bad people
00:06:08.900 it's it's not racial because i i have the same feeling of like
00:06:13.360 it's not hatred would you have given that guy a pass if his name was like chad
00:06:17.260 dude he was like i feel like i would have told him bro is there like liquid in there
00:06:22.140 bro i gotta go get gas real quick bro holy fuck the gas tank didn't work we're gonna have to go
00:06:30.760 that's the thing is if he was white i think i would have musk are like pissed at each other bro
00:06:34.940 would you have been a little less annoyed if he was white i would have felt less fear that i could
00:06:41.540 tell him what i actually thought like if he was white i could have been like bro it fucking smells
00:06:47.620 like shit in here what's going on you know what i mean or if he was white i could have been like
00:06:53.500 dude this is like this gas station thing is fucked like you know what i mean or like dude
00:06:58.920 i don't want to talk to you about it right now we have a surprise uber driver
00:07:03.960 please come in i am your best friend now what why do you want to ask me i swear he knows he smells
00:07:13.540 there was like a look on his face like he was like this man does not like my smell yeah but i
00:07:18.780 like that he doesn't like it now there's a what is it uh there are these there needs to be a new
00:07:25.800 word for like not racism but like you said like just hating like shitty like people who act like
00:07:32.700 fucking retarded no there's just i think there's a sprinkle you might have a sprinkle a whisper yeah
00:07:38.840 like a whisper don't you think you have like a whisper listen
00:07:44.160 like a like a like a touch you know like on the autistic board you're not like
00:07:54.020 outside good inside bet but you're just like um every time you leave you have to go switch on
00:08:01.140 switch off that's what you have you just have the quick like like a spectrum of racism yeah and
00:08:07.100 you're on like the the left end you're not you bear you barely have it yeah i'm just like but
00:08:11.760 then when you get in the stinky uber you're just when you get in the stinky uber it like pours
00:08:20.740 you're like what if it was a white guy oh yeah yeah all those stinky white ubers
00:08:24.340 this fucking guy's uber smells like a fucking man is freshly manicured poodle
00:08:36.420 well white guys i've been in the white people like care about like the uber smell
00:08:42.720 sometimes you've never been in a shitty i've been in it didn't smell it was i had an uber once
00:08:48.440 i had an uber once like shitty like the seats are falling apart there was a guy he looked like
00:08:53.960 i would say like taylor but a little bit if like taylor a little bit more hood and he picked me up
00:09:00.320 from the airport and he literally goes hey is this you and i just go sure yeah it's me put my bag in
00:09:08.520 the back of the car we drive he is bumping rap like just loud white yeah white just bumping and i'm
00:09:15.220 just like okay at least we're not gonna talk this is fine probably raised by blacks
00:09:18.820 i love that though when white people are like i was raised in a black area so now i talk like that
00:09:33.260 it's like no bro you're just retarded yeah no but he dropped me off and i just go hey just
00:09:37.880 pop the trunk i'm gonna go get my bag and i get out of the car and right as i close the back door he
00:09:44.000 just and i'm just like i like literally have to chase after the car and then he goes oh my bad
00:09:49.220 man and then pops the trunk like he drove away with you yeah without you without the bat with the bag
00:09:55.000 in the oh my god and then i'd go like hi hi and he go oh my bad man i had an uber in toronto that was
00:10:00.280 uh that fucking i got it like he didn't realize there was two guys my buddy ordered it and gets in
00:10:06.540 he's like are you so and so he's like yeah and i'm like the door is open and i'm like one leg in
00:10:12.160 and he starts pulling forward yeah and he was like fucking arab or something he's like oh my
00:10:17.960 brother i did not know i did not see it what do you fucking mean you don't you're picking people up
00:10:23.920 you look around you don't like anyway but i did think about this if you're bad at uber yeah that's
00:10:30.680 it you can't do anything you can't do anything in this world because if you can't simply have a
00:10:36.540 fucking car that smells okay pick people up properly safely drive them from one place to
00:10:41.920 the other be polite say nothing don't ask people anything don't talk i have a thing i have a i have
00:10:47.840 a setting and it says no conversation they don't they don't give a fuck about that they don't give
00:10:52.480 a fuck that it says no conversation oh no conversation that means this motherfucker want
00:10:55.980 to talk no i don't i hate you yeah that's why at a certain point though you do kind of have to i
00:11:03.840 mean you have to organize private you have to do outside uber as somebody used to uber i you don't
00:11:09.160 really look at the details because they to be fair they are getting fucked the app the the uber
00:11:16.020 and lyft apps fuck the drivers you'll because i remember once um it was like a 30 drive and it was
00:11:24.220 like a two-hour drive it was like from here to like the south side of san antonio and i was like making
00:11:29.880 like 45 bucks on it and i asked the guy hey how much did it the app charge i just want to know how
00:11:35.440 much did the app charge you and he goes it charged me 140 jesus and i'm like oh i'm getting 40 of the
00:11:42.140 dollars and i'm doing all the work so yeah that's why i kind of saw the the apps are slowly fucking
00:11:48.620 people so i kind of get why they're like today i will keep it stinky right they really i that's
00:11:57.380 premiered that's like a 50 like that's not yeah but still there's or maybe no i think i did get the
00:12:04.100 cheap one yeah you got this is the thing is i'll go i'll have premieres and then i'm like okay what
00:12:08.180 am i doing who do i think i am yeah this is crazy i'm gonna get a i don't get uber x but i'll get
00:12:12.900 like a comfort yeah and then it stinks it doesn't matter it stinks like shit they're still getting
00:12:18.860 fucked i had such a bad one last night too the guy so this guy he was black um
00:12:24.720 which has honestly i don't even think he was i think he was half black half native american
00:12:30.660 okay how did you that's literally as bad as it gets was he a black guy wearing
00:12:34.720 with like a like i'm joking wearing like a dream catcher he had a dream catcher he had a dream
00:12:40.220 catcher hanging yeah and i wouldn't have known that he was i just thought like he likes dream
00:12:45.360 catchers whatever you know shit you know you don't like a dream catcher yeah yeah but
00:12:53.200 he got he fucking no i don't actually i fucking hate them hey motherfucker you ever catch your dream
00:13:00.340 clearly this thing isn't working because you're fucking driving an uber
00:13:06.420 my dream be running my dream be bad so i get in he has like a disco ball in the back but it's not
00:13:13.340 even like it's literally it's literally just it just the whole time you're driving it just feels
00:13:18.220 like you're being pulled over like it's just blue and red it's just like you're like i was like
00:13:23.060 are we being fucking pulled up i asked he was like are you uncomfortable with that sorry i kind
00:13:27.780 of spit there you're fine um i was like are you uncomfortable with that uh and he said that to me
00:13:32.540 i was like well i mean does kind of feel like you're being pulled over the whole time doesn't it yeah
00:13:37.240 like and he was like he goes yeah we i get pulled over about once a month because of this thing
00:13:44.960 and i was like well let's just turn it off why don't we do that why don't we have a
00:13:50.440 carefree ride back to my and then he goes yeah but when i got you know they just have nothing to do
00:13:56.560 they pull me over then i show them my aboriginal card or some or indian card or tribal he said tribal
00:14:02.820 card yeah what is that a tribal part of a tribe probably that he's probably native american yeah
00:14:08.400 because i was i'm so racist i was thinking like african
00:14:11.980 this guy's gotta be like i'm from wakanda but no that was like a card that you get from like a
00:14:20.120 mcdonald's happy meal that just says the official wakanda card but this is the thing that uber should
00:14:25.860 have is like you should be able to like say you take uber and then you you meet when you actually
00:14:30.300 like and you're like this car smells good yeah and this guy didn't really talk and but when i
00:14:35.940 talked he talked a little bit but then he didn't ask anything else yeah you know he got me there
00:14:40.620 quick you should be able to be like i like this guy you know like star him yeah and then be able
00:14:46.680 to like request specifically him you just want a private driver yeah exactly but i think that uber is
00:14:54.900 going to become that because it's like that's how i think i think they're losing a lot of like
00:14:58.880 something the guy last night was like oh it's a slow night it's like yeah because nobody wants
00:15:02.560 a fucking uber because you guys are all nuts yeah but it's also the at my that's like my thing it's
00:15:07.980 like uh i don't know pay the people more and you'll get better service yeah no of course yeah you're
00:15:15.360 gonna get crazy that's why it's way better to get that's why it's way better to pay a guy privately
00:15:20.000 even so if it's like 140 bucks he gets 140 bucks i used to do that when i first moved here and i was
00:15:24.660 ubering i would tell people to like tourists because i would take them to their hotel i'd be
00:15:28.960 like hey man here's my phone number call me and i'll take you all out all night so they'd pay me
00:15:35.280 like 150 bucks i'd take them to like one bar and then i would just chill in that area they'd text me
00:15:40.320 when they're done i'd pick them up again take them to another place they'd text me because i was like
00:15:44.320 it works out for me i don't have to pay the fucking bullshit app and they're chill they're not
00:15:49.180 gonna throw up in my car they're easy and then i'm making more money but yeah i used to do that i would be
00:15:53.400 like hey when you have to go to the airport call me no that's the future that's that's the future
00:15:58.580 but yeah just back out our future yeah back not everybody's future a lot of people's future is
00:16:04.600 just being in stinky ubers every day of their fucking life what a fucking but yeah apparently
00:16:10.120 elon or trump are fighting but which is pretty crazy did you see what elon said yeah he said his
00:16:16.000 like bill is disgusting and no but then he said today that the real reason uh they didn't release
00:16:21.180 the epstein files is because trump's on them and no he didn't he did say that it's going viral right
00:16:26.800 now it's so honestly kind of makes sense he'll find it oh yeah here it is 24 million views on this
00:16:36.780 tweet time to drop have a nice day djt can i read the whole thing read the whole thing it says time to
00:16:43.540 drop the really big bomb real donald trump is in the epstein files i love how that's like a shocking
00:16:51.180 there's literally videos of them dancing to like abba and people are like and he's like fucking
00:16:58.300 they're dancing as they're fingering like some random lady on the day and it says trump is on
00:17:03.000 the epstein files this is the real reason they have not been made public have a nice day djt and this
00:17:09.440 is what make this is why politics is so it's like so stupid i think it's stupid that i mean if if that
00:17:19.020 even if that's true it's like that trump's even dumber yeah for not like why would you try to piss
00:17:24.540 this guy off he owns twitter bro yeah but you know because it's the thing about the the republicans i
00:17:30.700 think it's like the battle of the egos where with the the liberals it was kind of like the old man
00:17:36.600 and who's the best person yeah the old man and the the the the un elon said he's gonna start a new
00:17:46.040 party though that kind of makes who who did you i voted i didn't vote this term no not voting but
00:17:52.460 you were saying like the not liberals but what do you mean you're like how are the like the the right
00:17:58.680 is the right ego contest yeah it's like an ego and then the left they're just kind of like this social
00:18:04.420 conscious they don't care either they're as bad as the right but they they they're lying they play
00:18:10.280 they're lying too come on about different stuff yeah they're both lying yeah one is just like we're
00:18:15.860 here for the working class no we're here for the working class and then they're both putting their
00:18:19.860 money their hands into a different money basket but do you feel that like and i agree with that
00:18:25.880 but i do feel like you know how because like america's obviously like you know people want to come
00:18:31.240 here and do stinky uber when i grow up like they're all all they're all lying but it's like
00:18:38.460 mommy when i grow up i will have an uber and it will be the stinkiest uber ever and a a fat white
00:18:50.040 man will get in and he will be pissed off the whole time
00:18:56.260 he will i will drive him to his podcast studio and he will be pissed off the whole time
00:19:07.600 and the dad's just like okay so my son has crazy dreams he's a dream that's why we bought him this
00:19:15.840 dream catcher all the ubers is just one person at this point i hope you only get stinky but i'm
00:19:25.260 saying that like there's obviously opportunity here that no it's again it's the same thing they're
00:19:31.480 both lying but like in weird way my things like i think i like i don't even care i've started to
00:19:37.280 realize like being on a team like yeah you kind of have to have your own idea of how to fix everything
00:19:42.180 and then that's like my i truly believe that if they just legalized weed across the board yeah
00:19:49.740 and like forced other countries to do that too yeah and then like force them to buy our weed
00:19:56.400 yeah dude it's crazy right now in texas i've been watching like these that's what mexico does yeah i've
00:20:02.340 been watching these little videos how texas they're trying to ban like delta eight delta nine all this
00:20:07.140 kind of stuff and they're like we're here we're protecting the kids and then they're like yeah
00:20:12.180 but what about the adults we don't care about the adult and i'm like you're just helping the cartel
00:20:18.160 out you know that right like people adults that just want to buy weed they're still gonna want to
00:20:23.100 get high and now you're just gonna ban it all because jesus didn't smoke weed like gaza should have
00:20:31.540 been smoking weed for like 15 years yeah like all that shit should have been just smoking weed
00:20:37.500 because this is not an issue like people are not even on the like wavelength of being able to think
00:20:45.780 about these types of conflicts when they're you know what i'm saying yeah and maybe that's a bad
00:20:50.800 thing yeah i just think it's but it's not that they're they're stupid to it it's just that they're
00:20:56.080 like bro there's better shit to do like let's go like let's try that new spot that new restaurant
00:21:02.980 let's you know i'm saying like i don't know why so much of the world and so many people are like and
00:21:10.020 and i it's like a lot of it's a money issue where it's just like if you throw money at people they
00:21:13.960 just act better yeah like look at fucking the saudi arabians and then you know they're just so rich so
00:21:20.260 they're like opulence there was a town where they uh a town that was struggling and they gave uh
00:21:25.100 like a basic income what was it called uh ubi ubi and they gave them just an extra five hundred
00:21:30.740 dollars a month and crime went down by a pretty good percentage and like people were like not
00:21:36.260 calling into work like sick as much and i think that is good you find like bad areas get these
00:21:42.500 rich just throw a few extra because i dude when i have an extra five my fans are gonna be like
00:21:47.180 ben bankus is a communist he's agreeing with that ubi no but i do like it for i like it for poor people
00:21:54.040 because just keep them like but the problem is i don't want to pay more tax for it you know i'm
00:21:59.100 saying no i i'm not if i'm the thing is in general i don't think people like you should be paying more
00:22:04.340 tax i think it should be people like mr musk yeah mr musk calling out the epstein files
00:22:10.140 it is weird that people with like people who make like 90 grand a year like bro like what so you can't
00:22:19.200 get rich in this country anymore and it's like but these guys are so much richer like you can't get
00:22:23.880 as rich as him no it's impossible did you watch the interview of someone uh they were interviewing
00:22:28.500 musk could try after he got kicked out of the white house and he's back at tesla and they're like so uh
00:22:34.900 what was it like being at the white house and he's like i really don't want to talk uh politics
00:22:41.540 anymore just let's build more cars and they're like yeah but like what about when you two days
00:22:49.520 later yeah donald trump was on the epstein list i think dude honestly i think he realized he fucked
00:22:56.340 up so much because he lost a shit ton of money with this this past few months because with the stocks
00:23:02.220 tanking everywhere people are like fuck this guy so they're like hey man you kind of have to
00:23:07.800 him you want you want to stay the ceo of tesla you have to politically kill donald trump he's like
00:23:15.500 okay i like he's trying to act like he's not mad about the ev cuts like that's the only thing on that
00:23:21.040 bill that affects him at all i mean i don't know anything about the bill that is all i've heard that
00:23:26.060 like i i i love coming to terms with like because there is this we have this urge now where you go
00:23:34.840 online and it's like whatever he just said is like a tweet and then you're like yeah yeah
00:23:40.640 and you start telling people but it's like yeah guys like this are our news source guys that wear
00:23:46.000 skater t-shirts and shorts a guy off camera just be like hey i heard this that runs a podcast studio
00:23:51.800 next to a barbershop where you can't smoke in it yeah this is our jake tapper of our generation he
00:23:57.720 told me the the mexican tattoo guys will get mad if i smoke in here i'm like that's that shouldn't be a
00:24:03.500 those are awesome mexican tattoo guys yeah they really they care about their work um what was
00:24:10.240 i gonna say that it doesn't make you laugh though that they're fine it's not no nobody knows what's
00:24:14.380 in the bill the people who wrote the bill don't know what's it come on like there's like one guy
00:24:18.020 there's one guy maybe maybe five guys who are like i actually could i could sit you down for five
00:24:23.320 hours and explain this to you and you'll probably want to kill yourself at the end because it's too much
00:24:27.460 information scary yeah i think it's funny though because the trump elon thing is like a sugar baby
00:24:33.300 like situation where elon was his like sugar daddy pay oh you want more ads i got you honey you want
00:24:41.760 this and then eventually he was like it's time to pay the pipe it's time to suck the dick and trump
00:24:47.420 was like oh you're all i don't want to suck your dick and he's like well you're a pedophile then
00:24:53.000 yeah i'm gonna ruin your life but yeah it's i mean trump elon even tweeted too that he like you
00:25:01.460 wouldn't have been able to win without me and that's probably true 100 sure so what i don't know
00:25:07.920 this is a little scary what's scary about it's funny it's funny right now today but in like two
00:25:14.380 weeks when it you know this could like trump might want to do more censorship all of a sudden
00:25:20.140 because oh yeah because but then if he does that he's just fucking himself i think elon
00:25:27.280 knows he has the upper hand he might not because then the lip like the liberals right now are the
00:25:33.020 people that we have to feel sad for because they don't know who to hate right now because they're
00:25:36.440 like wait yeah elon he's the good oh wait no he's saying crazy shit oh trump's gonna do censor
00:25:41.360 elon maybe trump's then all of a sudden the people from the left yeah but liberals will change
00:25:45.720 the mind remember how we hated george trump could literally just come out and be like i'm more of a
00:25:49.640 democrat really the thing about all of a sudden liberals is if you switch sides to the right point
00:25:54.640 again they'll like you again look at george w bush hated oh you killed kids in iraq and afghanistan
00:26:00.620 you're a murderer da da da and then years later he comes out and he goes i drove pictures of sad
00:26:06.280 soldiers and they're like oh look at him he's so sweet and then they're like what do you think
00:26:11.160 about trump george bush i think he's kind of wacky and i don't like him and they're like oh we like
00:26:16.700 you george so that's what elon's don't because it's the same with like zuckerberg zuckerberg did
00:26:21.960 the same shit where he was kind of like a left-leaning tech guy and then uh he knew trump was gonna win
00:26:29.180 and he goes man i think liberals are bad people these these these guys are the most autists
00:26:35.500 they just want to be liked what do you think about elon musk's bruise on his eye what do you think
00:26:42.980 that's from probably from like weird sex yeah he probably likes getting hit by a beautiful woman
00:26:49.420 yeah yeah i don't think it's anything crazy i really think that's just a lady you think that's a sex uh
00:26:58.500 sex robot maybe an optimist that'd be cool if trump just whacked people are saying that people
00:27:05.040 are saying that they think trump might have punched him in the face right before that that actually would
00:27:09.840 be so funny wait is that the is it is it enhanced in the other one look at his eyes why does it the top
00:27:17.700 one looks enhanced go to the other one that does yeah it looks that does look like someone's grandma
00:27:23.980 at thanksgiving he loves you honey is grandpa treating you okay grandpa loves you you know he
00:27:32.400 just has his little moments and she's just like why does a bruise look so much uh more appropriate
00:27:42.060 on an elderly like when you see an elderly with a bruise you're like good because i think they
00:27:48.000 they bruise easily you know they bruise easily yeah i i hope he hit him i really do i hope every
00:27:55.600 politician just gets hit like i think what what social media is showing with paul do you think he
00:28:01.620 has neural link like there's something about him that makes me think like he he's done some shit to
00:28:06.040 himself like you know the top most sensitive stuff where they're like we could put a brain chip in you
00:28:12.880 like it's not that test like i feel like he would do something that's not that tested just if it like
00:28:16.960 gave him some abilities i think it's just the cat i mean you think he's on the drugs and no he
00:28:21.860 literally was saying he was taking a lot of cat i mean for a while that's why he's kind of during the
00:28:27.980 whole like the past few months he was going to like political campaigns he was he was going to
00:28:35.040 political campaigns with like a chainsaw going like we're gonna cut these bills and then he was just
00:28:40.180 like i am mean i am hey man they they said like comedy was like not cool man like that's why he
00:28:48.520 was literally becoming like a uh a 15 year old high school stoner like he's just drugged out
00:28:55.200 that's why they need to legalize it they need to legalize most things because i think that
00:29:00.920 like for your average person their big worry every day is like is a normal thing that i'm doing illegal
00:29:06.400 yeah which is crazy yeah that's why this is like we were like why are bong stores allowed
00:29:14.100 you know what i mean it's like you can buy everything to smoke this stuff smoking tobacco
00:29:18.300 but it's retarded no i remember in high school we got yes we got kicked out of a smoke shop
00:29:24.200 can i get a bong and they're like get out these are tobacco bongs and i go who's taking tobacco to the
00:29:32.900 dome like that you put your remember they used to go you put your whatever they call it they're
00:29:37.380 like i guess they call it your herb your herb put your herb here what are we doing yeah yeah
00:29:45.480 what the fuck are we doing you put it in the bowl and then you and you get that nicotine rush and i
00:29:53.040 was like yeah i'm not gonna smoke there was this place i'm trying to smoke weed that's what i would
00:29:57.260 say in toronto try to get high toronto canada there's a place like so queen street used to be
00:30:03.760 before weed was legal it used to be like all the head shops were there and like a lot you know when
00:30:09.800 kids are young the teenagers they you know they want to go to the head shop and the people working
00:30:14.500 there are probably pedophiles or something and they're like because they would just they knew we
00:30:20.140 were right oh he's from maryland because we all had fakes fake ids oh he's from maryland he's from
00:30:26.020 maryland going california sorry sorry i'm from maryland sorry no all the canadian kids like when
00:30:32.240 we were in high school we'd have fake ids but they were all from different u.s states yeah that's
00:30:35.800 what i'm saying which is funny this guy's california we're all just happen to be 15 and i'm from
00:30:41.560 maryland and we're just hanging out and we're trying to get we're exactly 21 because we're too stupid
00:30:46.940 to say we're any older than that and like you know as yeah it's so obvious but some of those places
00:30:53.980 this one place that was actually like the best one because i don't forget they had some
00:30:57.780 they've been written about in one of those whatever that weed magazine what's the weed
00:31:01.720 big weed high times they've been like written about thank you jake tapper that's what jake
00:31:08.560 tapper he knows all the information yeah he's good he's really good um not so good with the red and
00:31:14.960 blue yeah who wants a red okay no um but this one place it was a fuck the name's escaping right now
00:31:25.180 smoke was it called like smoke shop oh no it was called friendly stranger oh i like that it was a
00:31:30.880 cool it was like they had it was like the best smoke like bong store yeah when we were kids and it
00:31:36.480 just had like cool logo and you'd go in the best bong stores were kind of like fucking you are smoking
00:31:42.540 weed bro like you know what i mean they're like fucking you're gonna smoke weed right yeah um and
00:31:48.660 that place uh just stayed open for and and even through legalization and then they got a license
00:31:57.580 and now they find now they actually sell it like properly they like you know they had to pay like
00:32:02.920 a hundred grand or whatever crazy amount of money you have to pay in canada to get your license to do
00:32:06.520 it that's crazy i remember in new orleans i was in new orleans recently and i was looking for a vape
00:32:13.360 and every gas station or little mart they don't sell vapes vapes are illegal in new orleans which i was
00:32:18.140 like i go there are literally people drinking on the street throwing up and they're like you can't
00:32:23.980 smoke that's not good for you and i'm like that lady is literally running around naked he's going
00:32:29.180 they're they're after me they're after me but like i can't smoke my watermelon ice
00:32:33.760 and the cops are like ah janice uh what a silly goose and so my a guy that lived there flap he's a
00:32:43.460 rapper from new orleans shout out flap um he just he's a white rapper from new orleans i love him to
00:32:48.880 death does he do uber on the side no no but um he goes he just went man i got the spot for you
00:32:56.220 and uh we walk into the store that's completely empty it's literally it kind of looks like this
00:33:02.700 podcast it's like a cat couch this and there's maybe 12 cigarette packs behind the why are they
00:33:13.800 making random shit illegal they're like yo hair dries ain't legal in this state yeah you want a hair
00:33:19.280 dry you got to go to a weird spot but there's like 12 cigarette packs behind the cash cash register
00:33:24.180 and then i just go hey i'm looking for a vape and he goes follow me and we walked up two flights
00:33:31.300 of stairs and then there was just a mountain of vapes and then he just goes all right which one do
00:33:37.920 you want and i would go that one and then you grab it take me i didn't even pay for it upstairs he'd
00:33:42.660 just take me back to the normal cash cash register i was like they're gonna see that i'm buying this
00:33:48.520 from you and he goes yeah we just gotta keep them hidden how are people like it's just like
00:33:52.440 why are politicians focusing on these these these weird dystopian like control measures of like
00:34:00.740 random things and that people are gonna do no matter what whether it's certain drugs or fucking
00:34:06.960 cigarettes or fucking vapes or you know why it's like in california because they love us and they
00:34:15.460 want us it's such a pretend it's such a fake they want us to live forever yeah they want us to be a
00:34:22.220 happy family and live forever but like in cali have you you know when you're in cali and you're at the
00:34:29.860 hotel yeah and they have signs in the hall at the hotel california well have you been to a hotel in cali
00:34:39.140 yeah they have signs in the lobby that are like when you go outside you might breathe be breathing
00:34:44.980 in chemicals in the air yeah like they have like a law there where they have to like tell you that
00:34:49.580 everything's bad yeah and it's like bro what the fuck just don't like that's the crazy because they
00:34:56.480 have like some of the best laws for a lot of shit like you can babe you can smoke you can but then at
00:35:01.600 the end but then they have this warning where they're like yeah everything outside's really bad
00:35:06.020 because they're putting shit in the air my sister called me a few months ago she was in california
00:35:10.680 she called me distressed she goes yeah me and my friend had to just like run because it's like
00:35:15.560 naked homeless guy was chasing us and then i was like oh that's scary and then we got in the hotel
00:35:20.740 lobby and we're like yeah that this homeless guy was chasing us and they're like yeah and the hotel
00:35:27.320 guy was just like yep yeah they don't all right have a good night it's california is crazy with the
00:35:33.700 what city what city was la yeah that makes sense los angeles but if you go to like uh san diego's
00:35:40.280 pretty nice and he goes nice certain certain towns it'd be sick to just live in like a californian
00:35:46.100 town what does this say warning chemicals known to the state of california to cause cancer or birth
00:35:52.640 defects or other reproductive harm may be present in the foods or beverages sold or served here at denny's
00:36:00.360 well that makes sense but they have this in front of every if you're going to denny's for like good
00:36:05.580 food like for healthy food what are we doing that's what you're going to denny's sullivan goes
00:36:10.980 yeah he has a salad yeah we go to denny's to have birth defects we can't have abortions in texas
00:36:18.120 so we go to denny's and we get the grand slam which and we hope that sandwich just crushes the baby
00:36:23.660 that's why we go but would you rather i don't know i don't know what's it's just funny to me
00:36:30.440 why can't they just make the country it's funny to me though that all these these freedom
00:36:35.100 they're all fucking america's free they voted for the they vote for the right the people that
00:36:43.080 want you to be like this weird clean christian so i should be able to say whatever i want and then
00:36:49.380 you say shit in front of like your nana and she slaps you and she goes god doesn't want you to say
00:36:53.360 shit and then slap the the right is the most censored party they don't want you doing drugs
00:36:59.420 if you smoke weed you're you're useless to society you're i think they need to like get hip to that
00:37:05.240 though because they have to know they all do it they have to know that like everybody like on their
00:37:10.220 team or was i mean it the way people thought during the election versus now is totally different
00:37:18.140 like if there was an election today people would probably go just do kamala that was fun to like
00:37:23.220 it was fun to just yeah especially after musk all this this whole thing like it's like he's not gonna
00:37:28.960 win but all they have to do all the fucking democrats have to do is go we're gonna legalize
00:37:34.080 marijuana we're gonna make it a big deal and we promise and we swear to god and we're gonna talk
00:37:38.560 because so many people would vote for that yeah because really make the country as shitty as you want
00:37:44.220 but put a fucking dispensary with 39 infused blunts right there yeah and you can have a shitty
00:37:50.620 economy and nobody gives a fuck yeah if you were if you were stoned out of your mind you'd have been
00:37:54.920 in stinky uber going like wow we're driving fast you get you and then he would have been like i have to
00:38:00.720 go to the gas station you're like i do have the munchies you would have yeah it's true though like let
00:38:08.500 that's what because that's what they did during the lockdowns that's why the first two weeks of the
00:38:11.900 lockdowns everybody was kind of happy was because they were just like get fucked up they let liquor
00:38:18.240 stores up like get fucked up hey smoke all your weed no that was some that's why everything's bad
00:38:26.120 though that's why everything not bad but that's why everything's like topsy-turvy is because of
00:38:32.100 the locking people in a room yeah they they yeah they didn't put that into consideration where you get
00:38:38.740 too high and if you just stuck in a room you're gonna go crazy yeah like i binge watched ben shapiro
00:38:44.440 ben shapiro for like two weeks during the lockdown and it was the worst version of me i was just like
00:38:50.660 maybe maybe gay people shouldn't get married i was just like i like i was like well maybe it is
00:38:56.220 maybe jesus doesn't want this like i started talking like him for like two i was like oh fuck this is
00:39:00.700 not good yeah did you get a lot done though no i got less no they literally said there is like a
00:39:09.160 weird they said tony if you go outside you're dead all these guys are freaking out now because they're
00:39:14.600 like why doesn't anybody care anymore why is anybody like because all their viewership's down it's like
00:39:18.700 because people don't they never cared they were just locked inside yeah and they were forced to care
00:39:23.860 about politics because it's like the politics is literally this guy says outside's good yeah this guy
00:39:29.320 says outside's bad yeah everybody's in on that we're concerned this guy says that we should be
00:39:35.220 allowed to go to restaurants oh this guy said that restaurants shouldn't exist like everybody's
00:39:40.560 involved in politics and then when they go back to normal people don't even like it i think people
00:39:44.840 are just now two years three years after getting a little bit back to normal also i think these people
00:39:52.220 got too famous and then their real sides came out like when um what's his face steven crowder that
00:39:57.060 fucking silly bitch he was like fucking killing it during cover right so it's about all right
00:40:03.400 and then a video comes out of him just yelling at his wife she's like can i go to the grocery store
00:40:08.960 but but what if i have to see my friends and she's like but the children are hungry and the dog needs
00:40:14.480 food then maybe walk to the grocery store and she's like eight months pregnant and then she's like i think
00:40:20.660 i want to divorce and he goes yeah laws in this country are fucked up women can just ask for a
00:40:26.280 divorce that's what he said and then even his own fans were just like you say so if like you're just
00:40:34.120 being abusive and she doesn't want to be married to you you you should be able to say no you're stuck
00:40:38.120 with me forever yeah and his even his fans were like yeah man that doesn't seem like great like my mom
00:40:43.740 got out of an abusive relationship because my dad would come home and just beat the shit out of her
00:40:48.620 because meatloaf was cold i'm glad my mom got out of that situation yeah she should have stayed she's
00:40:54.800 she's a bitch she should have been a warrior instead taking those punches that's what i think
00:41:00.060 a lot of guys they were just getting affirmated from their fans you're right you're right then the
00:41:04.900 real opinions came out and the people were like oh you're crazy you know what i mean it's like you're
00:41:10.920 nuts yeah a woman should have to suck your dick if you ask if you say please they should have to
00:41:17.680 suck your dick and then people are like maybe they don't have like you you mean well like tate
00:41:23.820 and tate was like got probably the most famous person during covid oh yeah and then he was like
00:41:31.840 rape is okay yeah whatever you said yeah and then yeah crowd find a bunch of whores and just steal
00:41:39.560 money from them and you're just like ah that's still thievery that's still yeah but also it's like
00:41:45.320 you have to yeah that's what's nice about comedy is you can just say something and be like yeah
00:41:49.600 you know just kidding
00:41:50.720 like andrew tate you know there's not there's no i think yeah i mean he i don't think he's ever
00:42:02.020 said something crazy and been like i was going for just just the effect we wanted the effect
00:42:07.540 yeah you know i think and i think people are just annoyed are just done with like rich people
00:42:12.020 complaining like like rich people just going like it's like the nelk boys or whatever they're just
00:42:18.880 going like man this country's going to shit that's one video and then the next video is like we're
00:42:24.260 doing 14 lines of cocaine and we're gonna do 24 hours at the nightclub while we spend 150 million
00:42:29.780 dollars and you're like why are you complaining about america america's doing you really did they
00:42:36.360 i thought they complained about canada no but they come to america they're like kamala oh yeah
00:42:41.760 they helped uh we can't this country trump this country's under biden this country's nuts and i'm
00:42:47.280 like i just watched everybody wanted trump i just watched a video of the 12 the 12 blow job a night
00:42:52.360 challenge and it seems like your life is pretty sick you know tonight stony is getting 12 blow jobs and
00:43:00.780 then he gets his 12 blow jobs he's like this is the greatest night ever then the next video is like
00:43:04.840 the economy is crashing pick a lane like you can't like yeah it cost me 13 more to fill up my
00:43:14.780 maserati this country's going to shit and it's like shut up yeah but i i agree with you and i agree
00:43:23.280 with them because if you and and you probably would if you were rich too because you'd be like
00:43:27.040 fuck i thought i was rich yeah why is it so expensive to be you know yeah it is expensive
00:43:34.300 why is it so expensive doing seven homes well yeah that's my thing is like i think there should
00:43:39.740 be a law if you don't have someone living in the home you don't get the home like this idea where
00:43:45.880 it's so hard to be a homeowner of seven homes nowadays used to be so much easier it's like but
00:43:51.320 why do you need seven homes sometimes i want to go to paris for a week
00:43:54.560 yeah i don't know why i just have this maybe it's like uh the the jewish half of me that's like
00:44:01.380 sometimes you gotta own a couple of properties yeah yeah i mean maybe you want to airbnb them but
00:44:07.040 like i get what you mean if you're just don't give a shit but then that fucks the economy because like
00:44:12.180 so much of the economy like the majority of people buying homes are just rich people buying homes for
00:44:16.540 fun yeah that's what happened to austin when everybody was flooding austin but very few people
00:44:21.780 own homes and don't make money off them in some way dude the apartment i live in because i remember
00:44:27.160 looking at the same apartment i live in now when first moved to austin when the influx was happening
00:44:32.600 it was 1250 a month it's a shithole studio apartment it's like 400 square feet it's small right and now
00:44:40.780 i'm paying 750 in just two years difference and less no it's just 750 now which is like normal for
00:44:50.200 that kind of but like that's i think because they realized oh we need tenants so if you don't allow
00:44:59.340 rich people just to hoard homes i think housing prices would go down and more people could afford
00:45:04.280 homes but if you're just allowing rich people to buy buy buy or like these corporations like blackrock
00:45:10.180 to just buy properties that's why it's so expensive to buy a home nowadays yeah because it also makes it
00:45:16.640 cheaper to rent true and like why does anybody like i get owning a home like every month it's like
00:45:22.720 you're putting money into a bank account and it's like you're saving that money to maybe sell it but
00:45:28.460 you're also risking a lot and then you're focused on i have to pay this house off versus just being
00:45:34.340 like i rent i don't care it's an expense it's a life expense yeah or business like if you like do what
00:45:40.780 we do you can write off most of your rent is like yeah i fucking have a home office
00:45:44.700 yeah but i think most people just want something that they're this is mine oh i can pass this down
00:45:50.580 to my kids this is like you know i don't have once it's paid off i don't have to worry about this this
00:45:55.880 is like my thing yeah but the problem is that for fucking the they're not worth more anymore i know
00:46:02.620 it's like i bought it for 700 and then my kid got it it was worth 400 yeah it's like well then why
00:46:09.200 don't you just fucking rent and then focus on making other money and putting money into i think
00:46:15.460 it's just safety tesla tesla so why can you look up why elon and trump are fighting like
00:46:23.400 it's because he fired trump basically fired him from doge oh sorry and um because i want them to
00:46:30.700 be friends this is gonna fuck up a lot of things
00:46:33.740 trump must feud wow they just don't look like they should be friends
00:46:44.460 they look like you can you go look at that picture again real quick can you go up you know
00:46:50.700 back in the day when your your mom you're like there's an ad for ridge wall yeah when you like
00:46:55.840 your mom was friends with someone and she's like we're going to fucking tracy's house and be nice to
00:47:03.120 kevin kevin sucks kevin's like annoyed like he like picks his fucking nose and it's gross mom
00:47:10.800 yeah but like i want to hang out with tracy so you got to hang out with kevin just like
00:47:14.720 just play xbox yeah but he like cheat like this is what it looks like where it's like two kids that
00:47:20.260 don't like each other but are forced to hang out look at him he's like do you like this movie yeah
00:47:26.320 sure trump i like this movie shut up can you stop talking about the movie i'm watching the goddamn movie
00:47:32.060 well i think trump was desperate to win and he was willing to do anything and i don't think he
00:47:37.500 really thought through what it would mean to bring elon on and then act like you know this guy's my
00:47:45.940 little bitch and elon's like bro i'm the like straight up the richest guy in the world like i don't
00:47:50.020 give a fuck like you know what i mean it's like i'm the first south african president of the united
00:47:55.200 states thought that through the immediate trigger was musk's one big beautiful bill act
00:48:02.360 he called it a disgusting abomination
00:48:04.780 oh because of the 2.4 trillion increase that is funny to be like you're gonna
00:48:11.800 the immediate trigger was musk's vehement opposition to trump's signature legislation the one
00:48:18.680 big beautiful bill act which is i can't even believe that's actually what he called it musk
00:48:25.120 criticized it's the one big beautiful act musk criticized the bill as a disgusting abomination
00:48:32.880 due to its projected 2.4 trillion increase to the national deficit and its cuts to electric ev tax
00:48:39.820 credits which directly impact tesla he also condemned the bill for preserving fossil fuel subsidies while
00:48:45.200 slashing clean energy incentives trump responded by accusing musk of self-interest suggesting that
00:48:51.020 musk's opposition was driven by the bill's negative effects on his business he further retaliated by
00:48:56.980 threatening to revoke government contracts and subsidies for musk's companies including spacex okay
00:49:01.980 this is getting bad those are good companies we don't we want to go to mars no no i don't know
00:49:08.900 should we stop with that i think no i just think it's is it fake no i just think it's silly
00:49:14.020 it's mars fake i think it's silly to go to go we got to cut spending and then to go yeah like give
00:49:20.320 me more that's i think the hypocrisy is that idea of cut spending but then when he wants but it's
00:49:26.920 also when he wants but when he wants government money he just goes but why isn't the piggy bank open
00:49:33.160 for me i think it's it's that's i think what people don't like about musk where it's you almost made
00:49:38.920 him sound indian for so i thought he was a stinky uber guy yes hello why do you have my money for
00:49:45.220 my day i am elon musk i like i have many children i have 12 children i have 12 children why does he
00:49:53.680 like the problem is that the environment apparently is getting worse so that's why the evs were
00:50:00.800 started in the first place and you know the ethical questions around like is it like if somebody's
00:50:07.180 trying to make money off something that's bettering society yeah but they're still trying to make
00:50:12.000 money off it's not like they're like you know his things like yeah i'm just trying to trying to make
00:50:16.820 things better but it's like bro you're also trying to be the richest man in the world which is cool
00:50:20.480 and fine but my point is like if you like if you the environment doesn't matter in this feud at all
00:50:31.640 but it's going to be interesting for the people on the left because they're going to be like well
00:50:35.220 you know this is why i liked you on the first place you know he cares about the environment
00:50:41.680 or whatever because that's obviously what he's gonna that's his angle here yeah i think republicans
00:50:47.620 realize i don't know man this is so weird it's so weird i can't wait to see what happens it's just
00:50:52.100 it's all a shit show i don't really care i did my my whole thing's like i like the 51st state
00:50:59.380 what's rfk jr is just in the corner so many guys like i feel like trump just says don't don't do
00:51:08.080 any interviews like he basically just tells everybody like you can't do shit yeah and
00:51:12.300 rfk jr is just like mcdonald's
00:51:14.680 mcdonald's still bad jd vance might run though he'll probably be he could be the next president
00:51:22.300 yeah you think he would he's going to yeah you think him and some woman tulsi gabbard or
00:51:29.440 something that'd be cool yeah and then i think the democrat i think the leading guy right now is
00:51:34.460 pete budich edge is that the gay guy is it he's he's like going up in the polls see i don't think
00:51:41.700 gays should be allowed to i'm just kidding you've been watching ben shapiro videos gay people's
00:51:48.780 anatomy i mean i don't know i do feel like gay people don't procreate
00:51:55.300 so like they shouldn't have
00:51:59.600 i mean i'm joking but there is like a weird thing there is like a weird thing when i you know gay
00:52:07.460 people are like doctors explain yourself just like pediatrician we went to a pediatrician who
00:52:19.480 was gay and i was like what do you why why i i don't you know what i mean no i don't like i don't
00:52:27.440 know like i know i don't like pediatrician should be a woman who has a family or guy who has a family
00:52:32.940 no no no no there's too much emotion yeah yeah a gay doctor is just like you want just a fucking
00:52:39.760 gay pediatrician talking to your two-year-old being like sony and fyaing
00:52:44.460 fuck that fuck that
00:52:49.040 so oh like literally the first thing he did was touch my kid's dick there's a baby i took a baby
00:52:57.640 there and he literally he went like this with the dick he like folded it over to the other side
00:53:04.360 that was the first thing he did because they're like get the baby naked put it down and the baby's
00:53:10.140 there he's like let's take a look here's this cock and here's this ball looks great like what the
00:53:16.960 fuck is this i'm sorry but like am i a bad person because i don't like that and that's why i voted for
00:53:26.020 jd vance jd vance said no more gay doctors what do you want you can either have uh gay doctors and
00:53:34.900 weed or no gay doctors no weed then i wouldn't care but it is crazy it's crazy to be like
00:53:44.340 yeah our pediatrician's a gay guy for our baby he looks at our baby's cock
00:53:50.080 i don't think he likes your baby's cock
00:53:53.900 if you were there and then like the conversation we'd be having on the way back like the walk back
00:54:00.900 to the car you'd be like kind of looked at your baby's cock for a while there that was a little
00:54:05.740 but again that's you know one stinky uber doesn't
00:54:11.080 one gay pediatrician staring at my baby's cock
00:54:17.680 it doesn't really was your baby laughing um no it was crying
00:54:23.740 even your baby was just like my gravy was like i'm being molested in front of you
00:54:28.300 by a gay dog and you're you're not even being a man father
00:54:32.040 no and i'm just i'm just like being a man father and stepping up what's wrong with this dick why
00:54:36.520 do you really do you have to do that
00:54:39.540 give me a minute
00:54:43.660 so bad but i don't know there's certain things like that's not
00:54:50.360 listen i don't actually care though like i don't think yeah that all of that's a joke
00:54:56.620 but uh to an extent yeah yeah but yeah but at least we at least we got that at least we got
00:55:04.280 comedy we can just feel like maybe it maybe good night maybe my baby got molested yeah thank you
00:55:14.260 good night that's that's a wild take yeah i think yeah i think he was just trying to check out
00:55:20.140 see if your baby's balls and testicles were all right but it was just the way i don't know
00:55:26.120 like the way he like handled it like it was like a little
00:55:31.040 like he pinched it like that with his pinkies oh did you want him to go like that i don't know
00:55:37.580 like uh touch your child's penis maybe like that maybe like that like you know like with the back
00:55:44.700 of the hand kind of like flick it over like tsa yeah like this yeah yeah no but you know what i mean
00:55:52.600 kind of like i don't i don't know is that the does that what they go to med school they go to ut med
00:55:58.220 school they go take the baby dick like this and look the parents right in the eye and go i'm
00:56:02.800 molesting a child
00:56:03.760 is that what they maybe i think yeah i think you were overthinking all i'm saying is that we need
00:56:12.720 a um just straight whites only area only straight people and whites no whites and blacks and that's
00:56:20.460 it i think whites and blacks and then everybody else kind of mexicans are cool
00:56:27.000 like mexicans i do too but you know you let in one yeah mexicans are really cool yeah and then
00:56:39.400 they go do you mind if my cousin got me and then his cousin what's your deal with mexicans you're
00:56:44.580 from canada i don't think you guys have mexicans exactly that's the one thing here and it's a
00:56:50.420 culture that's the one thing i miss it's the no mexicans what do you miss about canada um
00:56:56.420 now that you're in the greatest country in the world probably just what i was talking about earlier
00:57:04.260 and just like the the setups like with like the dispos and stuff like that but like other than
00:57:10.700 that really not much really no what was toronto specifically has good food and stuff but i kind of
00:57:17.540 i i i just don't i couldn't be there right now um why not
00:57:25.260 i mean the mayor of toronto who i've made fun of before and she's but she's know who you are i think
00:57:34.720 she does but she's just like so it's like so over the top crazy that if you're there you can't really
00:57:41.480 escape it like here no i honestly don't know who the mayor is of austin i i have i've asked people
00:57:47.140 several times i never remember the name i don't know what they look like you know i like that you
00:57:52.620 know i'm saying like i don't need to live in a place because can remember you're talking about
00:57:55.580 all the the um those like talking heads getting super famous and yeah whatever it's the same for
00:58:02.040 the politicians they all got so famous especially in canada they got they're just famous yeah where
00:58:08.240 everybody knows the mayor of every city and everybody knows the fucking it's weird so anytime
00:58:13.160 so she's now playing into it she wears like feathery outfits she has the chinese accent she's like drunk
00:58:19.860 she's just she's drunk she well she looks kind of drunk and she she just recently made a video and
00:58:25.880 everybody wants me to make this video into one of my videos we can pull it up the most recent video
00:58:31.780 she pledged to give four hundred thousand dollars to the gay pride parade if you go on x and just search
00:58:39.700 olivia chow she'll uh the the newest video will come up but um people are like rattled about this
00:58:47.600 that she's that she's offered to because basically like home depot and all these companies pulled out
00:58:53.640 of the pride parade yeah because it's just the toronto one's like so extreme with like so much
00:58:59.100 yeah this is a
00:59:00.880 toronto have lost some corporate sponsor because they just don't know who they are huh they're short-sighted
00:59:11.600 they don't know who they are and the first round of corporate cuts about three hundred thousand
00:59:19.780 dollars the city of the one guy laughed you know what we're gonna come to the table we will provide
00:59:25.940 a grant that is 350 000 and every year for five years 62 percent increasing the funding by 2027
00:59:37.800 so this and people are people are like how can you make fun of this woman like you know what i mean
00:59:44.860 like she literally has a strong chinese accent she sounds drunk and she's wearing a feathery
00:59:51.620 i love her cabinet though her what her cabinet yeah santa claus i don't that's like park i don't
00:59:58.580 know what that is that's part of the pride yeah i have no idea what the fuck any of this is and
01:00:03.820 people are like make fun of this i'm like but but if in toronto like like if i live there this is all
01:00:09.740 i would do yeah because it's like what else it's just it's part of the reality and it's so nice to be
01:00:14.920 away from it but then i see it and i'm like fuck this would be good but she's also sounds so chinese
01:00:20.580 it's not even funny if i dub it anymore because she well that was fucking hilarious yeah like
01:00:26.140 does it get better than that we will provide a grant that is 350 000 i don't i can't do but she stole
01:00:33.740 my act did she not sound as chinese back in the day no she didn't she like started sounding more and
01:00:41.420 more chinese recently because she saw my videos i talk about this i'm gonna put it put out a little
01:00:46.900 mini special soon uh in the next like two three weeks and um well we're in a week we're gonna
01:00:53.460 announce it but uh officially but and i do a whole bit about it but basically yeah she saw the videos
01:00:59.740 before she was sounding like very like hello everybody i have a little tiny bit of it and then
01:01:08.400 she saw how you know me be like
01:01:10.980 and now she's i think she's like an alcoholic and she's sad about those videos and now she just
01:01:20.640 sounds more chinese on purpose play it again keep playing it
01:01:26.140 and every year for five years what's the hand motion this is
01:01:32.080 increasing the funding by 2027
01:01:36.980 so they're just gonna make gay pride
01:01:41.800 i'm gonna have to dub this one i'm gonna have to go home and do this bro she has the burger king
01:02:02.460 and like fucking juice world behind her it's crazy this is so why why people like why don't you want
01:02:08.780 to move back so they're they're funding it because the corporations backed out yeah so now taxpayers
01:02:15.520 have to pay for the pride parade in toronto yeah which uh why did the corporations back yeah
01:02:20.780 because trump got rid of the dei shit and they're all american corporations so they're like yeah no
01:02:28.940 we're not approving that because like the canadian you know the ceo of home depo canada
01:02:35.920 yeah but he still fucking answers to some yeah they're like yeah we're not we don't do that
01:02:41.580 shit anymore which is kind of sick wow makes me want to go to home depot
01:02:45.880 makes me want to go get a sub at home depot you ever get us you ever i don't know if they do this
01:02:52.240 in the states i've never been to american home depot but in canada they would have
01:02:55.520 like a there's a canadian burger joint called harvey's they would have them in home depots
01:03:01.300 and and subways wow do they have that here no you can't get a sub at home depot no we kind of like
01:03:07.180 we keep our sandwich and house house building separate house building separate church and
01:03:13.820 finally somewhere for the mexicans to work the subway and the home depot yeah the mexicans were just
01:03:20.560 eating all the swami can we have another can we do one more lone star yeah that's crazy
01:03:26.180 you want to do one i'll do one more we're at an hour i'm just letting you know okay so
01:03:30.580 don't miss can i've never been to can i've been to niagara falls and that's about it
01:03:36.680 dude i miss like the people that i know and like certain things but
01:03:41.060 fuck man it's just you just saw with that it's to live in that it's different to watch that for
01:03:47.940 america and be like look how fucking stupid they are is it that crazy it's that crazy there's like
01:03:53.340 protests every fucking like four times a week all like everybody's just up in arms about
01:03:58.880 everything everything the jews are and then the palestinians and then the indians are marching and
01:04:05.040 then the the other the other indians are marching against those indians because the
01:04:09.560 sikhs and the it's like what the fuck is everybody doing here like just fucking chill yeah but it's not
01:04:17.400 and it's just yeah so and then drake got attacked and then that problem yeah that was uh
01:04:24.160 that was rough i mean but canada's they're so ruth like they'll turn pretty quick what do you mean
01:04:32.060 like canada recently has started backing its people more than it ever did in the sense that
01:04:41.440 like bieber when bieber was popular canadians canadians were like yeah he's a fucking pussy
01:04:49.360 kind of thing which is you know a lot of people said that but like it wasn't like they were like
01:04:54.960 hey he's canada you know he's one he's our guy they didn't give a fuck same thing with when drake was
01:05:00.780 you know a lot of canadians are like oh drake that's shit music they didn't support him you know
01:05:06.280 what i mean like he he got more support in america what i'm saying is that when canadians
01:05:10.400 go to america and americans support them then canadians then canadians will be like okay like
01:05:15.820 you know bieber obviously like jim carrey and like john candy and stuff okay but that's also because
01:05:21.800 there's just a ceiling of what you can accomplish there there's not you know trailer park boys did
01:05:26.760 pretty good but i mean if they had done that same stuff in the states they'd probably be worth way
01:05:32.940 more and probably bigger empire that's true i'm re-watching it right now it's a great show it is
01:05:38.200 a really really top five sitcoms of all time were they famous before the before they hit the states
01:05:44.960 before the states got a hold of them even yeah so certain guys like canada like i was lucky enough
01:05:51.940 to have like a canadian following before u.s following you know what i mean but that's new that's
01:05:57.940 like a new thing in the last like five ten years that they've been willing to i mean trailer park boys
01:06:02.280 do you know them i've met them a long time ago are they sweet uh they're cool they're like
01:06:08.020 they're just like they are in the show pretty much except not really i mean the guy who plays
01:06:13.920 bubbles is like weirdly like this like super intellectual guy oh that's cool yeah he's just
01:06:18.400 like hello how are you i play bubbles it's kind of over the top yeah yeah that's cool i went to a
01:06:27.700 premiere of a movie one of their movies have you ever seen the movies they've done yeah with
01:06:31.920 with like the trailer park boy movies yeah i forget what one of them they have the one called
01:06:36.580 the movie then they have the christmas special and then they have another one the other it's the
01:06:41.380 other one where it's like they create their own youtube in the movie yeah it's like only them being
01:06:50.300 like ricky's gonna fucking do it i don't know it's pretty funny it's like it doesn't make any sense now
01:06:55.620 that like social media exists but the way it does but it was it was cool we got to meet them
01:07:00.940 they did like the q a it was like a premiere that i got to that it because a friend of
01:07:05.960 you're american now premiere is it premiere yeah it's not premier not premier no
01:07:11.540 holy shit not in my country it's not is it zed what's zed that's how can i say z zed yeah
01:07:22.300 yeah it's not horrible yeah it's awful you don't like that no i don't like something what's zed's
01:07:28.360 dead you never heard of the zed's dead yeah zed is a name zed zed dd why do that why that's weird
01:07:35.400 where it's like yo why are we saying it different because you guys are fucked you guys are fucked and
01:07:41.900 we're gonna take it dude it was so funny because canadians are kind of silly especially the canadians
01:07:48.520 that come to the mothership sometimes where uh these guys had canada is not for sale hats on
01:07:55.040 and then i was like oh so you guys like support biden and i know we like trump and i'm like that's
01:08:00.240 the fucker that wants to buy y'all yeah and they're like really and i was like yeah you guys
01:08:08.300 are idiots that's what's so sad is everybody's just so confused it's the the only like logical option
01:08:14.100 is to stand very far back and start watching what's going on what's your opinion if when you
01:08:19.300 see like a 20 or 30 year old wearing a maga hat i i feel sad for them because i i go wear a wear like
01:08:28.040 a cowboys hat or a you know a hockey team or a like a music label like why you're like you're 30
01:08:37.000 and you're wearing a politician's hat makes me sad it same with like when i see like a 20 or 30
01:08:45.600 when i see a 20 or 30 year old wearing like a i would never wear kamala let her speak kamala
01:08:51.480 you know i think there was a time like right before like leading up to the election like it was kind of
01:08:56.980 more popular and acceptable too because it was kind of like everybody got like rah rah like a
01:09:03.200 little bit for but so and you know and then the liberals like wear the masks or wear whatever they
01:09:09.440 wear um so it's like yeah people just wear dumb shit but like it's like they don't even know really
01:09:17.760 why but that's like the canadians were like well we like trump but then trump tried to buy us so now
01:09:22.640 we're like canada but like we want trump but it's like bro like it's sad it's just sad and there's
01:09:30.900 too many fucking indian people in the country i like indian people what is not here in canada yeah
01:09:38.920 i heard there a lot in canada but it's not even like and that's the thing is like i don't actually
01:09:43.020 say that as like a bad thing like
01:09:44.860 like like there's too many not like because like wait i don't like them but just like there's
01:09:51.800 legitimately like like crowds of people on the streets like there's too many people
01:10:00.520 like even if they had that many white people standing around we'd be like why are white people
01:10:05.040 but if you put it in the perspective of the indian people for for you as a white canadian you know
01:10:11.440 there's too many people on the street put it in the perspective of the indian they're like
01:10:15.340 there's nobody on these streets compared to india right compared to india they're like this is
01:10:21.940 fantastic but the problem is it like this is crazy i mean the problem i don't have this problem
01:10:27.980 necessarily the people who have the problem like so like people say like i was joking when i said
01:10:35.100 there's too many indians like it's i mean i'm not but i was trying to get a laugh but
01:10:40.980 but people who legitimately think that and then you'll be like bro like that's the difference between
01:10:49.920 american canada where like american people like this is a problem that problem you're like eh i know
01:10:54.180 but in canada it's like no there's too many indians and then you walk outside you're like
01:10:57.400 whoa what the fuck you know i'm saying yeah but are you like scared it's because it's not like just
01:11:07.020 families and shit it's just like hordes of men everywhere yeah you know i'm saying it's like
01:11:12.980 you don't want to do things like imagine sixth street was all indians well there's nights they have
01:11:22.440 there's some nights yeah yeah i don't i don't go out on those nights i don't know i i think hordes
01:11:29.980 of people i don't like big hordes of people in general that's my thing no like you're there's too
01:11:36.160 many just people people all i'm saying is the too many for what and it's too many to have whatever the
01:11:45.960 country was before and i get that it's like this is what the country is now we're changing it yeah but
01:11:51.040 nobody had a say in that yeah so it does feel crazy yeah and now obviously the housing prices are
01:11:58.460 like way up because i hear toronto's pretty expensive right toronto's expensive yeah it's
01:12:03.100 like as expensive as austin or more wow yeah it's crazy so it's gonna be okay it's going down though
01:12:12.220 medium price of rent is 2300 that's pretty crazy but it's gonna be all right we're gonna be okay
01:12:19.800 they only want to tell you
01:12:21.740 approximately 3000 yeah it's been going down so right now it's like the like if i spent what i'm
01:12:30.440 spending here in toronto i could have like a nice spot but i couldn't have like a backyard i could have
01:12:35.620 like a big deck you'd have like a condo it's very much a condo city like so is austin but not really
01:12:40.920 yeah there's way more condos in toronto than there than here but no they don't stink but
01:12:48.880 but this is what i'm saying is i don't want to be racist like i genuinely and like i don't like
01:12:56.420 one-on-one like if i meet an indian guy and you know we have a moment i'd be like you know i have
01:13:01.400 i have a joke about this where i'm like you know my thing is i'll meet it i can meet an indian guy and
01:13:07.600 have like a great company and then all of a sudden i'm like i fucking love these people but then one
01:13:11.280 guy will like stink and i'm like i fucking get rid of them all kind of thing you know what i'm saying
01:13:17.240 which is fucked up but what kind of childhood i have a lot of i have a lot of indian fans what
01:13:23.420 kind of childhood did you have growing up
01:13:25.280 not a stinky one
01:13:29.160 two-parent household
01:13:32.600 yeah for the most part
01:13:34.360 12 or 13 i forget when they
01:13:37.600 separate 10 11 something like that
01:13:39.920 yeah
01:13:40.180 good
01:13:41.900 they still like each other
01:13:43.860 well my mom's dead
01:13:45.500 oh i'm sorry
01:13:46.500 yeah
01:13:47.240 how'd she die
01:13:48.140 uh
01:13:49.020 dementia
01:13:49.940 oh wow
01:13:51.080 pancreatic cancer
01:13:52.340 damn
01:13:53.280 yeah
01:13:53.960 like last year
01:13:55.220 oh i'm sorry
01:13:56.440 i'm sorry
01:13:58.100 no
01:13:58.840 i mean she was retarded for like four years so we needed her to die
01:14:02.540 like i don't
01:14:04.120 like it was sad like i mean you know you get you get over these things
01:14:11.240 like yeah
01:14:11.660 no but my mom i was telling my wife this i was making her laugh the other day i'm like
01:14:16.020 you know every time i get sad about my mom being dead and then i remember how much she fed me
01:14:20.080 like mcdonald's when i was like too young for that and got so fat as a kid and got bullied i'm like
01:14:25.200 yeah she's a fucking bitch
01:14:26.400 because i wasn't by her bedside when she died i was uh i was uh uh stand-up new york and connect
01:14:35.420 and i remember calling my dad my dad's like seven years younger than my mom and i was like you know she's about to die
01:14:43.140 like you know i'm fit the filipinos holding the phone to facetime her and she's just sitting there like
01:14:48.100 just shitting her pants
01:14:52.080 and um and i'm like i have like screenshots every time
01:14:56.900 i have screenshots of her wanting to die so bad
01:15:04.960 sitting in a wheelchair with this filipino filmed it and be like are you going to come
01:15:10.080 say back to your mother
01:15:11.200 i'm like
01:15:12.720 no i'm doing i'm living my dream
01:15:15.600 solano and 20 tickets tonight what do you know about that
01:15:19.680 seats 240
01:15:21.220 anyway
01:15:21.920 but for real though like you're like yo yo my fans are here
01:15:29.660 mom
01:15:30.320 mom
01:15:31.040 but uh i told my dad i'm like you know fuck should i after the show tomorrow i have two days off
01:15:38.700 like i was just gonna stay here and do spots but like should i go back and he's just like
01:15:43.760 no
01:15:44.940 you know like they were divorced for a long time but
01:15:48.120 but he was kind of right
01:15:50.240 my dad's a musician he's like he's like soviet from the soviet union so he's like the show must go on
01:15:56.700 really
01:15:57.320 kind of thing
01:15:58.120 your dad's russian
01:15:58.780 uh lithuanian but he was it was russia
01:16:01.240 it was technically russia when he lived there he speaks russian
01:16:03.940 holy fuck
01:16:04.840 fluently and shit
01:16:05.660 reads it writes and shit
01:16:07.020 oh that makes sense
01:16:08.160 you make sense now
01:16:09.680 yeah
01:16:10.300 you have that russian flair that cold russian flair
01:16:13.480 well he's like they're lithuanian they don't like that
01:16:16.120 like if you say to him like you're russian they're like
01:16:18.220 you think you think this is russian
01:16:23.380 you think because i said that you can make russian name russian
01:16:29.120 and i go yes sir
01:16:32.320 but they're uh they're not they're like slightly different
01:16:34.760 oh
01:16:35.280 like it's latvia lithuania or lithuania and estonia
01:16:39.560 so like oh so your dad's like ari maddie
01:16:42.480 my dad's like uh
01:16:43.960 he's like an old ari maddie
01:16:45.520 no but he's jewish
01:16:46.720 oh wow
01:16:47.860 so it's like evil
01:16:49.040 are you jewish
01:16:53.360 i mean he is
01:16:54.840 but you're not
01:16:55.560 i didn't have a bar mitzvah i didn't
01:16:57.020 why not
01:16:58.080 he didn't have one either
01:16:59.940 can we throw you a bar mitzvah
01:17:01.140 that'd be fun
01:17:01.800 can we do like a podcast bar mitzvah for you
01:17:03.980 that'd be fun
01:17:04.180 my yeah
01:17:04.880 my uh
01:17:06.040 he doesn't have
01:17:07.360 yeah
01:17:07.840 that'd be great
01:17:08.640 read the torah you know
01:17:10.220 get a full rabbi in and shit
01:17:12.180 yeah
01:17:12.560 that'd be sick
01:17:13.140 that'd actually be pretty cool
01:17:14.320 my thing is
01:17:15.420 he wasn't bar mitzvah because his parents were like holocaust survivors
01:17:19.600 and they
01:17:21.120 basically after the holocaust
01:17:23.620 were like yeah we're not
01:17:24.760 we don't do that anymore
01:17:26.640 that kind of thing
01:17:27.660 because they're too afraid
01:17:28.680 oh they were scared yeah
01:17:30.040 because they had had two children
01:17:31.680 um before the holocaust
01:17:33.800 and they were like murdered
01:17:35.080 whoa
01:17:35.960 i was like babies
01:17:37.580 they would just like take the babies in the night or whatever
01:17:39.540 and like
01:17:39.980 never see them again
01:17:41.680 um
01:17:42.580 that was like before they were in the concentration camps
01:17:44.920 like they would just be in like the ghettos
01:17:46.420 and they would just like raid the ghettos
01:17:48.380 and like go in and like take
01:17:49.640 like the
01:17:50.360 kids
01:17:51.260 that's great
01:17:52.220 babies
01:17:52.480 and like use their blood for like blood transfusion
01:17:55.220 for like the troops at the front line
01:17:56.760 and shit
01:17:57.080 um
01:17:58.320 so they would
01:17:59.320 that's how they would kill them
01:18:00.300 and then after that
01:18:02.300 my grandparents were like separated
01:18:04.420 and did different concentration camps
01:18:05.840 and then
01:18:06.360 they both like
01:18:07.380 did different jobs
01:18:08.500 and they escaped
01:18:09.060 they like somehow escaped
01:18:10.220 which i could tell you the stories
01:18:12.180 if you want
01:18:12.760 please do
01:18:13.340 but i don't know if we have time
01:18:14.760 but
01:18:15.080 we're at an hour 18
01:18:16.560 yeah
01:18:17.000 he's like uh
01:18:18.060 the holocaust didn't happen
01:18:19.720 there's the end of the story
01:18:22.280 tell us one of the stories
01:18:24.720 um
01:18:25.280 well like so my grandfather put
01:18:27.000 apparently
01:18:27.520 i mean
01:18:27.860 i don't know if
01:18:28.880 you know
01:18:29.400 i don't know
01:18:30.000 yeah
01:18:30.400 it's all fake
01:18:31.460 uh
01:18:33.200 he put bombs on airplanes
01:18:34.520 for like the nazis
01:18:35.780 yeah
01:18:36.380 that's what they would have
01:18:37.320 some of
01:18:38.160 you know
01:18:38.760 the men do
01:18:40.280 whatever
01:18:40.600 and then my grandmother
01:18:42.080 sewed
01:18:43.120 like nazi uniforms
01:18:44.180 like they would
01:18:44.620 force other jews
01:18:45.860 so like sew
01:18:46.440 yeah
01:18:46.980 it's basically slavery
01:18:48.140 and then
01:18:49.240 they after
01:18:50.540 like
01:18:51.400 like for my grandfather
01:18:53.880 like okay
01:18:54.720 we're kind of losing the war
01:18:55.860 so we're just gonna kill these people
01:18:57.100 and we're gonna get out of here
01:18:58.260 and so they like
01:18:59.500 tried to take them
01:19:00.180 into the forest
01:19:00.820 to just like
01:19:01.320 they would just shoot
01:19:01.980 a lot of people
01:19:02.700 um
01:19:03.880 like they would just line them up
01:19:05.140 and like
01:19:05.420 shoot them in the
01:19:06.120 into like a grave
01:19:07.180 and then like
01:19:07.720 cover it
01:19:08.400 and whatever
01:19:08.880 yeah
01:19:09.340 so they like ran away
01:19:10.800 before the car stopped
01:19:12.120 and then
01:19:13.080 they ran for like weeks
01:19:14.620 or some shit
01:19:15.260 holy fuck
01:19:16.040 to like Russia
01:19:16.980 cause they were that close
01:19:18.960 and then when they got to the Russian
01:19:21.220 not Russia
01:19:21.860 but the front
01:19:22.540 cause they were coming into Lithuania
01:19:24.620 as well
01:19:25.540 that's how they took it over
01:19:27.260 and then
01:19:28.200 so but then they got to the front
01:19:29.720 and they were like
01:19:30.220 the Russians were like
01:19:30.860 we're gonna kill you
01:19:31.560 we think we're German spies
01:19:32.840 and then some guy had to
01:19:34.100 like show
01:19:34.980 like a passport
01:19:35.700 was like sewn into his jacket
01:19:37.520 that he was
01:19:38.140 like from some
01:19:38.820 you know Lithuania
01:19:39.880 or whatever
01:19:40.400 so then they let them in
01:19:42.300 and then my grandfather
01:19:43.100 he was a barber
01:19:43.980 so he just like cut hair
01:19:45.300 for like all the guys
01:19:47.100 who would go and die
01:19:48.420 on the front
01:19:49.260 holy fuck
01:19:50.240 but he was yeah
01:19:50.940 pretty Jewy
01:19:51.620 that he would get like
01:19:52.300 so he would get like
01:19:53.340 the last supper every night
01:19:54.500 but I mean
01:19:55.460 he just escaped the Holocaust
01:19:56.500 so he kind of deserved it
01:19:58.100 but anyway
01:20:01.920 they were
01:20:02.620 you know
01:20:03.040 and then after
01:20:03.820 so
01:20:04.400 and my grandmother's story
01:20:05.920 is kind of just
01:20:07.040 you know
01:20:07.300 she was on a train
01:20:08.320 and the train stopped
01:20:10.420 and then she asked
01:20:12.900 like the fucking security yard
01:20:14.500 if she could just like
01:20:15.200 go to the bathroom
01:20:15.940 off the train
01:20:16.760 while it was stopped
01:20:17.560 they're all naked too
01:20:19.440 so then she was
01:20:20.660 like
01:20:21.060 she just kind of like
01:20:22.200 you know
01:20:22.500 you know
01:20:26.540 yeah
01:20:27.760 some bullshit
01:20:28.760 please
01:20:30.300 I will suck your dick
01:20:31.680 if you let me
01:20:32.400 I don't know what she was saying
01:20:33.340 but anyway
01:20:33.720 she got off
01:20:34.440 and then just like
01:20:36.080 the train started moving
01:20:37.080 so she just like
01:20:37.680 laid down
01:20:38.260 in like a field
01:20:39.020 like a cornfield type thing
01:20:40.360 wow
01:20:40.860 or like tall grass
01:20:42.400 and then
01:20:43.720 the guy didn't
01:20:45.200 the security guy
01:20:46.260 didn't say anything
01:20:47.020 because he was like
01:20:47.840 I'll get shot
01:20:48.660 for letting her do that
01:20:49.700 yeah
01:20:50.000 so then she just stayed there
01:20:51.620 and somebody saw it happen
01:20:52.800 they came and like
01:20:53.620 rescued her
01:20:54.340 and like
01:20:54.740 kept her in their house
01:20:56.420 for like six months
01:20:57.720 whoa
01:20:58.480 yeah
01:20:59.300 but then they went back
01:21:00.660 to the same city
01:21:01.520 and met each other
01:21:02.340 and had two more kids
01:21:03.500 and that was my dad
01:21:04.300 and my aunt
01:21:05.180 and then they were like
01:21:05.940 yeah we're not gonna
01:21:06.620 no more latkes
01:21:08.900 no more latkes
01:21:12.740 we're not bankesses anymore
01:21:13.860 no more menorahs
01:21:14.900 we're Johnson's
01:21:15.800 we're Johnson's name
01:21:18.080 I don't think they were
01:21:18.700 legally allowed to change names
01:21:20.000 because
01:21:20.460 like they wanted to
01:21:22.240 like the Russians wanted to know
01:21:23.420 if they were Jewish too
01:21:24.200 they put like Jew
01:21:25.120 they would have Jew
01:21:26.160 on their passports
01:21:27.000 really
01:21:27.300 yeah
01:21:27.780 wow
01:21:29.040 yeah Jews really
01:21:31.520 it's pretty sick
01:21:32.840 they get it rough
01:21:33.660 yeah
01:21:34.440 that's the story
01:21:38.180 I was told
01:21:39.020 like yeah
01:21:41.420 we've had a rough time
01:21:42.480 anyway
01:21:42.760 have you tried the wine
01:21:43.660 anyway
01:21:44.440 it's been horrible
01:21:45.880 have you tried the
01:21:46.760 did you like the
01:21:48.520 yeah
01:21:49.060 get filled
01:21:50.840 no I mean
01:21:53.940 Jews have done well
01:21:54.840 and they're smart
01:21:55.580 so they deserved it
01:21:57.340 my grandparents
01:21:59.180 deserved all that
01:22:00.120 but I was
01:22:05.100 you know
01:22:05.360 did they ever give you
01:22:07.260 like a bad like gift
01:22:08.380 and you're just like
01:22:09.180 fuck I wish you were
01:22:10.160 like grandparents
01:22:11.080 yeah
01:22:11.500 they were like dead
01:22:12.660 by the time I was like
01:22:13.620 sentient
01:22:14.240 oh
01:22:14.760 yeah
01:22:16.440 like my grandfather
01:22:17.660 died of something
01:22:18.660 and then my grandmother
01:22:19.660 had like Alzheimer's
01:22:20.900 yeah
01:22:21.840 just
01:22:22.600 so they died
01:22:23.540 when I was like
01:22:24.060 before I was like four
01:22:25.740 oh okay
01:22:26.620 yeah
01:22:27.200 I'm sorry
01:22:27.980 don't but dude
01:22:30.320 it's kind of funny
01:22:31.500 no
01:22:31.760 I wouldn't say
01:22:33.240 it's not like a lot
01:22:34.040 you have grandparents
01:22:34.680 like you grew up
01:22:35.360 with grandparents
01:22:35.880 yeah
01:22:36.440 my grandma just died
01:22:37.980 oh
01:22:38.560 yeah it was really
01:22:39.700 heartbreaking
01:22:40.240 oh
01:22:41.080 for me
01:22:42.280 that's why I'm
01:22:43.040 bringing emotion
01:22:43.640 I'm bringing emotion
01:22:44.880 to it
01:22:45.220 sorry
01:22:45.660 for me
01:22:46.220 that's a big deal
01:22:47.060 but for you
01:22:47.700 for you
01:22:48.180 it's just
01:22:49.340 another stink Uber
01:22:50.400 you just denied
01:22:52.480 your grandpa's story
01:22:53.840 about surviving
01:22:54.520 the Holocaust
01:22:55.040 but
01:22:55.580 yeah I'm like
01:22:56.540 yeah
01:22:56.780 my grandparents
01:22:58.100 my grandparents
01:22:58.780 were German
01:22:59.300 during the
01:22:59.960 they were probably
01:23:01.400 looking for them
01:23:02.660 yeah my grandparents
01:23:03.940 fucking fuck
01:23:04.840 your grandparents up
01:23:05.880 yeah
01:23:06.360 my grandma still
01:23:08.440 has a dress
01:23:09.540 that needs to be sewn
01:23:11.100 so maybe I can send
01:23:12.280 it to your dad's house
01:23:13.100 can you put a
01:23:16.260 swastika on this
01:23:17.360 yeah
01:23:17.940 got any more
01:23:21.060 of those gold stars
01:23:21.920 yeah
01:23:22.240 dude this is really
01:23:24.960 fun bro
01:23:25.500 this is great
01:23:26.040 thanks for having me
01:23:26.800 yeah
01:23:27.120 do you have any
01:23:27.800 I mean
01:23:28.560 you're a mothership
01:23:29.460 all the time
01:23:30.020 you can find me
01:23:31.000 at comedian
01:23:31.500 Tony Casillas
01:23:32.360 on Instagram
01:23:33.040 and then
01:23:33.940 I'm gonna be in
01:23:35.300 Vegas
01:23:35.820 June 20th
01:23:37.800 and 21st
01:23:38.500 headlining at
01:23:39.080 Wise Guys
01:23:39.800 fuck yeah
01:23:40.520 so come out to that
01:23:41.480 thank you bro
01:23:42.420 thank you for having me
01:23:43.240 thank you for coming on
01:23:44.160 come on again soon
01:23:45.460 that was really fun
01:23:46.240 I'm down
01:23:46.800 and please
01:23:48.260 yeah
01:23:48.980 all the other shit
01:23:49.780 I'll figure out
01:23:50.340 thank you for having me
01:23:51.800 thank you for having me