Bankas Podcast - April 01, 2023


Nightmare on Hastings Street | The Bankas Show - #019


Episode Stats

Length

39 minutes

Words per Minute

172.17194

Word Count

6,816

Sentence Count

7

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

59


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Vancouver, Canada is a beautiful city, but it s becoming a dilapidating hellscape. The streets are filled with homeless people and it s a scary place to walk the streets. We talk about the issue with the homeless in Vancouver and how they are ruining the city.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 welcome to the bank is show everybody we are on tour we are in vancouver right now chilling we
00:00:05.740 have the day off this is our first day off since we flew out at uh 7 30 in the morning
00:00:12.280 on april or march 29th fuck feels like a week ago it's only been like two about a week ago we call
00:00:21.540 about a week ago i didn't have these sunglasses i know we went we bought these but yeah so we
00:00:29.580 we arrived um on the 29th in victoria bc the show was sold out for all intents and purposes there
00:00:37.820 was like 100 people there it was sold out we they were like we could have fit 130 i don't know how
00:00:41.900 they would have fit another 30 people but it was a dope ass show um people on the island are a little
00:00:47.600 different though they're a little they're slower people on the island they don't um you know they're
00:00:53.700 environmentally friendly people like they don't really know what's going on in the world if you
00:00:58.600 live on an island you don't really know what's going on you're just there going oh wow it's so
00:01:03.040 beautiful and you have to you have to take a boat to get here and that's the funny part is that they
00:01:07.780 think they're so green like liberal nd peers who live there and it the fact that they live there is
00:01:16.760 causing so much damage to the environment just the amount of 18 wheeler trucks that have to get onto
00:01:22.960 a boat that then dumps like gallon thousand gallons of gasoline into the beautiful ocean and they just
00:01:31.140 rip through all those yeah look at the islands look here and we're just shitting in the water and go
00:01:36.100 take a shit on this boat like we took like eight shits on that boat yeah we did take a lot of shits
00:01:41.340 but yeah vancouver uh victoria's nice and then we came to vancouver which is it's a beautiful city
00:01:49.400 that they've destroyed it's nice to look at from the safety of our apartment but walking around on
00:01:55.360 the streets is terrifying it's like i don't think people who live here know how scary it is like right
00:02:00.840 now i can see a building with a pride flag on the roof and in that building is just i don't know
00:02:09.020 domestic abuse all day i don't even know if that's the issue here i think the issue everybody's
00:02:13.320 just homeless and they come here to be homeless and the city is it it's becoming an american city
00:02:23.140 vancouver you're an american city where you can't really walk around toronto is much safer to walk
00:02:29.140 100 toronto we are much better at segregating the people that we don't want around um than vancouver
00:02:37.360 you guys vancouver you're crazy you're just like everybody can just live on this street and
00:02:41.680 vancouver they need a scarborough they need a scarborough and a mississauga they can send
00:02:46.300 they don't have that they have a surrey bc yeah but they need a i don't know i don't think it's working
00:02:52.060 vancouver is a dump but is a beautiful dump and i like that i like that you have the best scenery
00:03:03.040 of any city pretty much in canada and you your waterfront is beautiful and the trails and and
00:03:11.420 the buildings the architecture is beautiful for the most part there's some ugly buildings but even
00:03:16.200 ugly buildings in vancouver look cool and then you just destroyed this this beautiful opportunity to
00:03:22.860 have an amazing city probably would have been the best city in canada if not north america vancouver
00:03:27.440 has the potential to be the best city but it is it's uh it's a dilapidating hellscape every
00:03:36.620 starbucks i i don't even want to how much money is starbucks losing in vancouver because nobody wants
00:03:41.520 to go to starbucks anymore because they're scared that they're going to get uh you know filleted
00:03:45.680 filleted what do you think the solution is are we going to fix it i mean authoritarianism
00:03:54.880 yeah kill all the homeless well i mean at a certain point
00:04:00.420 i'm not saying to kill them but to just have them you can't you can't get rid of the problem
00:04:09.020 what are you gonna you like literally killing them is the only you think the solution is like
00:04:12.980 as the migrants are coming in through roxham road we're sending the homeless back into america
00:04:17.480 just a little trade
00:04:18.580 there is no solution it's just this is how we live now this is the society we live in
00:04:26.900 is filled with homeless people and i get it i see them walking around and i get it uh you know
00:04:38.040 being a human being is hard we've been kind of coached to think that you know the
00:04:44.480 the hollywood dream this is what a life is this is what a marriage is this is what no we're
00:04:50.200 fucking animals on this planet and if you don't get your shit right you're fucked you're just
00:04:55.780 fucked forever so yeah like last night when we were driving back to the to where we're staying
00:05:02.940 from surrey there was like it's zombies it's a zombie apocalypse and then i said it to the
00:05:11.300 woman at nordstrom i was like this is she's like yeah well we have less deaths now because we're
00:05:16.520 administering narcan to all the homeless people i'm like yeah and then they come back to life as a
00:05:21.620 fucking zombie and stab you at starbucks we should like i'm sorry to say this but how many times can
00:05:28.020 you get narcan and brought back to life before you start getting violent and you act zombie like i mean
00:05:35.300 and are these people they're narcanning them are they uh vaccinated are these homeless people
00:05:40.720 vaccinated they're every the vaccine was the big thing especially in vancouver especially in bc where
00:05:47.880 people tend to be woke and look you have unvaccinated narcan zombies wandering around the city
00:05:58.060 terrorizing people basically uh i mean there are the liberals oh they keep to themselves those are
00:06:05.240 liberals who grew up in vancouver they grew up in a different vancouver and now they live here and
00:06:09.360 they go well it's just they i feel bad for no it's extreme guys i'm from toronto we have homeless
00:06:16.240 people too it's a bigger city it's not this bad i don't even know what maybe we're sending all the
00:06:22.920 homeless from toronto to here or they're making their way here but what the fuck guys i mean it is
00:06:29.840 it's a hellscape i just can't get over how bad the city uh looks on the ground it's only nice when you
00:06:38.220 look out the window you look at all the buildings oh that's pretty there's a mountain and then you walk
00:06:43.020 around and it's zombie apocalypse narcan victims they're victims of narcan they should have they
00:06:51.860 should have shoulda woulda coulda for the betterment of society i didn't say it no i think that
00:07:00.340 my fans here are cool as shit and they make the people who are my like the whites is what
00:07:08.340 no my fans are very diverse by the way if you guys are wondering the show last night in surrey there
00:07:15.360 was uh tons of brown people because it's surrey no there was there's brown people yeah there was
00:07:22.280 an indian guy there was a trinidadian guy there was asian couple there was another asian guy
00:07:26.820 there was like eight people that weren't white and they had a great time they felt like they were in
00:07:35.080 a safe space it is safer that's for sure i mean like you know if it was an all black crowd
00:07:42.060 i didn't like that doggy you know but i didn't like that doggy i did get at the first show was i
00:07:50.860 had a hat thrown at me i had a hat thrown at why did you not see no i was shooting you gotta start
00:07:57.500 watching my sets you gotta watch my sets i have to watch your set they go oh yeah yeah the whole time
00:08:02.540 boy he just told the owner of the club that he was a loser what are we gonna do i'm not gonna get paid
00:08:08.920 no um no last night at the show in surrey a woman threw a hat at me and it was a hat like a j-lo
00:08:20.000 2004 oh one of those hat and she was sitting in the front row with i'm not gonna say who but a certain
00:08:26.920 someone who works at a certain company that rhymes with uh ebble bebble booze bebble shoes
00:08:35.640 and one of their guests their friends um got upset because the casino at one point during my show
00:08:46.900 all of the uh visa machines went down oh so she got mad at you just wait just wait a second
00:08:52.280 just shut up and listen for god's sakes she she wasn't mad at me the visa machines went down this
00:08:59.860 shit like this always happens at shows and then i get mad and then i get mad because the show is
00:09:06.180 just supposed to be a show people are supposed to come to the show be able to pay with the way that
00:09:10.140 they pay but for some reason um and it's i guess it's not anybody's fault it's not the comedy club's
00:09:16.880 fault but they shut down all visa and debit service during the show so basically everybody there was
00:09:25.080 gonna pay with a card and then halfway through the show they're like no so but this woman was making
00:09:29.780 a big deal about it during my act right as i was starting to bring up the good stuff the theresa tam
00:09:36.000 some of the other shit and so she's freaking out and being like to the waitress well i don't know how
00:09:42.260 i want to pay with things i know so i started making fun of her and then i you know and then i told her like
00:09:49.020 we had to kick another woman out just like you and then i was like yeah she was fat and and everybody
00:09:56.040 was laughing having a good time and she got mad and she threw a hat at me which is assault it's assault
00:10:02.440 it's assault but i didn't um do anything about it because i don't care it's it's surrey bc
00:10:11.940 it's the most dangerous city in canada surrey bc look it up it has the highest murder rate
00:10:20.120 of any city i'm pretty sure in canada and the worst thing that happened to me was i got a hat thrown at
00:10:28.060 me and it wasn't even a turban so i'm not that upset about it at all what's the what's the death
00:10:34.500 toll i mean i don't really understand what the statistic is but it says 71.4 percent level of
00:10:41.940 crime 71.1 what what is it in toronto worries car stolen it's all it's basically all like
00:10:49.380 yeah grand theft auto this is literally grand theft auto city let's see toronto murder rate
00:10:55.320 i'm gonna close this door
00:11:04.700 well it doesn't say like the percent like that but there was only 80 homicides
00:11:19.100 in 2021 which what in toronto yeah it's not bad and how many in surrey let's see
00:11:26.760 guys this is bad why is everybody so angry here it's it's so nice the weather's nicer than every
00:11:34.900 other city maybe that's why okay so that's why florida's fucked up so we have the first quarter of
00:11:40.180 uh 2022 only one heim aside one homicide for the first quarter heim aside but we have uh 549
00:11:48.780 violent crimes they're all in total in the quarter it's because the sikh guys are allowed to have
00:11:57.200 they're allowed to have not 1600 violent crimes did you know that that the sikh guys are allowed to
00:12:03.100 have knives really it's like because it's like a religious object it's a pretty sick religion
00:12:09.900 it's a good religion it's pretty sick trudeau loves i'd love security maybe that's why he did
00:12:18.300 maybe that's what yeah trudeau just felt scared at the party they were playing rap music on them
00:12:23.500 at all times no but victoria uh was a beautiful city and they have homeless people there too but
00:12:29.880 the homeless people aren't as aggressive but it's more of a small town but vancouver i just can't get
00:12:36.600 over this i didn't even see them like i'm i just i'm from toronto so all my street instincts like
00:12:43.740 kick in but like then you just you can't really enjoy the city like certain parts of it you can't
00:12:49.200 really even walk around in toronto or here oh here yeah hastings hastings is far there's parts of
00:12:55.180 toronto that have homeless but it's like not even an area that it's like a corner it'll be like on a
00:13:00.100 corner they'll have they have a tent city in toronto but it's not even it's under a bridge so who cares
00:13:04.440 yeah they're hiding here they're like i might there was a tent outside of the art gallery which
00:13:11.060 by the way we tried to be cultured individuals and go to the art gallery in vancouver here and i didn't
00:13:20.220 feel it wasn't it was an uninclusive environment there was a trans flag at the door so i immediately
00:13:27.080 felt like i was not wanted there no i mean i'm joking about that but part of me you know part of it is like
00:13:33.580 here's a flag and it's like like if i put i do a joke in my act i don't want to give it away but i
00:13:38.980 talking about how the uh the fuck trudeau flag you know and it's like would the fuck if the fuck trudeau
00:13:45.980 flag was hanging outside of an art gallery would and i'm not saying the trans flag is but the trans
00:13:55.120 flag is the opposite of the fuck trudeau flag is the pride flag like that's like those are the polar
00:14:01.320 opposites of our society right now and you can't go out around hanging fuck trudeau flags everywhere
00:14:08.000 on you know on government buildings on high schools in front of art galleries so why do we need to have
00:14:17.380 like if you go to an art gallery just as a regular person and want to see art why does it have to be
00:14:25.480 through the lens of the the minority groups like you know because that's who's all making the art
00:14:35.400 though because all the conservative people i think they just make money go to like finance and get like
00:14:39.840 real jobs so only minorities make art i think i think so because usually art's made by like the
00:14:45.360 subjugated and like the poor people of a community so currently it's like the minorities so now we're
00:14:50.500 i'm a minority i'm half jewish there's not a lot of us i'm a half jew and i hate the
00:14:58.240 don't hate anybody i love everybody no i love i actually do not i mean you had a trans fan come
00:15:04.620 to the show i had a trans fan come to i know we had there was a trans fan in victoria i'm pretty sure
00:15:11.340 probably the only trans person in victoria and there was a trans fan last night i'm pretty sure there
00:15:17.660 was a couple there was even some like sort of gender neutral non-binds so i love everybody and
00:15:23.940 the jokes are for everybody i don't care like i don't care if the trans like there i just think
00:15:28.880 it's fun to talk about that it's this is a phenomenon that's happening now our society is
00:15:34.300 becoming and you know we want to become as accepting as possible but we're doing it in
00:15:42.040 like a low-key authoritative authoritarian ish way where it's like we're changing everything
00:15:50.820 like that's never going to be easy for a society to go through and that's what i don't like with
00:15:56.720 the left is like why does the left think it should just be so easy for everybody to just go we're
00:16:03.780 changing everything we're like we're changing what your kids are learning in school we're changing um
00:16:09.440 you know the the look of our cities with you know even just the woke stuff with the bike lanes and
00:16:16.420 half the bike lanes have are just pride colors um you know all kind and i'm not saying these things
00:16:24.000 are like a big deal in the left they'll be like well what's the big deal with that why oh that bugs
00:16:28.620 you you're transphobic and it's like i get that argument but at a certain point it's like this is just
00:16:33.500 buggy this is just like too much of anything like the same if the right took over tomorrow and started
00:16:40.880 putting fuck trudeau flags everywhere and fuck trudeau painted on sidewalks that would also be
00:16:45.880 scary that's also authoritarian it's like i'm just saying that it's a like it's a propaganda it's gone
00:16:52.420 past the point of being hey we're just this accepting society i thought we were already that
00:16:58.000 like nobody like i and i get that there are minority groups that were like no no that we
00:17:02.900 weren't but now we are i don't know if that's true i just feel like we've emboldened a lot of people who
00:17:09.160 are crazy and i'm not saying all people who are lgbt whatever are crazy or mentally ill by no means
00:17:16.340 that's not true but the mentally ill ones are being emboldened to be fucking out of their minds now
00:17:26.620 like we had that there was the trans shooter the trans school shooter that went to a school in the
00:17:33.240 u.s and look this the u.s is fucked you guys have shooters all the time so it's not even really it's
00:17:39.140 like see they're trans now like it's one out of thousands so and and you can't look at it like that
00:17:47.420 but it was shocking it was scary i think it scared people on the right i think people on the right were
00:17:53.640 like holy shit they're fucking a trans with the ar that's they were i think in some ways they half
00:17:59.340 respect him because it was like second amendment they like respected it but they were like god damn
00:18:04.400 trans got done did something other than tiktok so that's i mean i like this gender but i just i don't
00:18:11.560 think that we're why what i say when what i mean when i say that we're going too far is that we're
00:18:17.880 pushing and changing and we're not respecting the people who are voicing their concerns and we're
00:18:24.000 just pointing a finger at them and going you're a fucking racist piece of shit and you need to fall
00:18:28.380 in line and and this is what society is now i think that's the bad part here you'll like because it
00:18:34.180 could happen for some other ideology that's way scarier than trans or gay like covid which it basically
00:18:40.900 happened so you'll like this so there's a bunch of gender activists that are outraged because people
00:18:47.440 are dead naming the name of the trans shooter so dead naming is when you say the person's name
00:18:52.400 before they transitioned so they're mad not that this person killed children in a preschool but the
00:18:58.340 fact that uh you're saying audrey hale the uh the original name now there's like outrage for that
00:19:05.300 well yeah the uh the new york times like apologized that's insane they or they didn't apologize they
00:19:12.000 didn't say sorry but they basically put out an apology they're like we would like to put out a
00:19:16.400 correction we had mentioned that it was a woman and uh we now understand that that person identified
00:19:22.380 as a man they're a murderer it just murdered kids i know and then it's i mean like i get it the crazy
00:19:31.000 trans people though that's now a martyr for them because they're like see look that they they died
00:19:36.940 so that i could be pro like have my pronouns said correct it's just all a lot and guys i think we
00:19:44.680 should just acknowledge that this is all just a lot and we have people being stabbed and we have
00:19:50.140 people being shot and then you still just see white people jogging around like nothing like that's like
00:19:55.100 armin's joke like but you know the whites are just well we're more jogging around and like it's just all
00:20:00.620 kinds of crazy shit and the online indoctrination of people like even my fans are crazy but i think i mean
00:20:08.280 for the most part they're just like they're mostly potheads or or they're just people that like
00:20:14.420 they're regular they just like south park they love the fucking accents and the shit they talked
00:20:19.340 about controversial topics and that's what comedy fucking should be they grew up with my type of and
00:20:23.860 this it's it's which is people making fun of everybody and everything and not not trying to be
00:20:32.180 politically correct just for the sake of you know just for the sake of what like i don't even know
00:20:39.740 what the the point of that would would necessarily be to just you know i get that for me as as my
00:20:47.560 upbringing like i get when comics are you know they're doing their clean shit and this cbc and you
00:20:52.780 know jfl like i did a showcase for jfl at the best set of the night i'm gonna i'm i think that's true
00:20:59.900 and uh we talked to the guy and you know my pr lady she's talking to them and but
00:21:06.000 we're working on it but they still want me to send them like clean stuff and it's like
00:21:11.480 well just put me on the dirty don't like that well people don't care that's the other thing too is i
00:21:17.640 think they they themselves care so they want to like enact what they think people should like but
00:21:22.600 people don't like that well that's what i'm talking about with this it's gone too far thing
00:21:26.800 is the authoritarian oh well i saw that you killed but you swore and you said some offensive
00:21:33.900 things so can you kill when you don't swear and say non-offensive things and it's like yes okay
00:21:38.060 i'll do that for you but just understand that people are going to buy tickets to see me because
00:21:43.940 all my show will be part of just for laughs you're basically saying we're not we're not considering you
00:21:50.700 for any of the galas like any of the things that all these other comedians compete for
00:21:55.240 which is kind of a compliment because they're basically saying look you're above that yeah but
00:22:01.420 you need to have a certain level of whatever to to get it but at that point it's like well i'm doing
00:22:06.340 a show in montreal on june 1st a month before just for laughs what's like it's stupid it's they don't
00:22:14.220 care about funny anymore they don't want to listen to the audience's laughs and it's depressing
00:22:18.980 can we get a water you can you grab us a couple of areas
00:22:22.640 we went to the uh the shoppers drug mart here i think they also have shoppers but it was it's
00:22:30.640 called london drugs maybe that's what the main shopping shoppers is here which is like the cbs or
00:22:36.400 whatever but london drugs the down we went to the downtown one it's fucking terrifying they have like
00:22:41.960 eight security guards in there it's like a third world country it's insane everything and then they
00:22:47.840 still have all the fucking stupid covid you know glass tempered glass to protect the employees from
00:22:55.360 honestly the i feel like the tempered glass went from protecting people from the disease to just
00:23:01.260 protecting them from getting stabbed people just feel safer behind glass i feel safer if you're working
00:23:08.700 in a you know same with like the cab drivers they put up the the the new york cabs used to always
00:23:14.700 have that for safety a barrier between the driver but so i don't know
00:23:21.160 vancouver man what a town it's it's really wild here i want to i want to see what the like we
00:23:29.480 haven't really seen any of the nightlife or anything but what's what's interesting is we
00:23:32.920 have they're just bums like we have like three times as many homeless people as vancouver
00:23:37.140 actually really yeah we have almost 8 000 in toronto that are experiencing homelessness vancouver
00:23:42.780 only has 2 000 what so it's like they they're just so maybe some of those people aren't even
00:23:47.860 homeless they're just drug out of their goddamn mind just like to lurk but they're probably i bet
00:23:53.520 there's a lot of homeless people that they're like housing yeah so they don't count see how many are
00:23:58.060 like housed because toronto is probably housing less of them and they're not or they're counting it
00:24:07.140 different because they're just like oh yeah these people are homeless but now they live at some hotel
00:24:10.880 that the government's renting out for homeless people to live in so we're counting them as not
00:24:14.760 being homeless
00:24:15.340 they don't even really have accurate numbers actually they're saying it's like an estimate
00:24:22.420 because those are the people that'll go to the shelters so then they're counting that so there
00:24:26.180 might even be more just i bet here no i bet that's why it's so low here it says it's low because
00:24:31.820 so few of these people go to shelters they just hang out on what is it east hastings yeah east i'm
00:24:37.340 reading about that now yeah the patricia hotel is 450 rooms all given to the homeless the government
00:24:43.120 purchased the hotel so 450 rooms that means and think about how many of them are fucking and how
00:24:48.320 just disturbing that hotel is like to walk around in this is nice by the end of february vancouver is
00:24:54.760 expected to see the first of two uh tiny shelters set up in parking lots around the city that'll be able
00:25:00.200 to house 18 people so that's nice parking lots just in a parking lot you'll just have
00:25:06.660 little homeless party get your car stolen guys this is not a solution this is this is mentally ill
00:25:13.900 put them in the fucking forest build it like a proper place for them to fucking be insane we have
00:25:19.600 all those islands ship fucking fentanyl send them to none of the blow they want all the fucking dope
00:25:27.060 they want the heroin send it all to a forest put them in a forest right clear out a little area
00:25:33.720 forest and be like you guys live here now give them electricity give them fucking water or maybe
00:25:40.380 not even running water just deliver deliver fucking nestle pure life and just let those people live
00:25:45.520 there intense because all they want to do is do drugs and act crazy why does a city need to be so
00:25:54.900 unsafe so scary and part of the reason it's unsafe by the way is because gangs use the homeless people
00:26:01.100 to like house their weapons that they sell so they'll just like come to some like drug addict
00:26:06.320 and be like i'm gonna put my uh yeah hold this hold this and then if you don't do it we fucking kill
00:26:12.660 you or whatever not to mention they profit the amount of people that probably die and nobody even
00:26:16.580 knows like in the city of of like it's dark vancouver man building a the bc government shows are sold
00:26:24.780 out seven million dollars on a work camp housing for the homeless but it doesn't count to the people
00:26:29.840 living in tents on hastings just the people living in shelters that are vetted
00:26:35.140 i'll be honest with you i haven't seen zero chinese people since i've been here yeah except for
00:26:42.080 our driver everybody says oh vancouver is so chinese yeah where yeah i know it's chinatown is
00:26:47.340 all all homeless white people every single fucking area of this city is just whites struggling i know
00:26:54.900 like the most i've never seen more grizzled out white dudes just looking like they like like a
00:27:00.640 old school hobo like living on a train fucking insanity here surrey seemed nice the shit the the
00:27:10.640 the casino seemed nice compared to downtown van downtown van what did you guys do what did you
00:27:23.240 guys do here it's like they're too busy looking at how beautiful the mountains are we went to bet
00:27:27.400 we went to best buy and there was an alarm went off every five seconds of somebody just walking out
00:27:33.160 with stolen goods and they can't do a thing yeah i know the mountains are beautiful and people just get
00:27:39.000 that's that's the distraction but i i feel like most of these homeless people don't even see the
00:27:43.460 mountains they just live deep in the city lurking so much lurking here a lot of lurky like followy
00:27:52.180 follow you around kind of sketchy vibes you said someone was trying to follow us earlier no i felt
00:27:58.280 like yeah some guy like followed us into best buy and wanted to see like how much money i think you
00:28:02.160 probably want to see oh these guys are buying a tv or fuck that's how people get their tvs robbed from
00:28:07.320 their home really like tips off they bought a tv tries to go like i don't fucking know it goes in
00:28:12.900 the garbage who the fuck can i was getting the receipt i don't know what the fuck these people
00:28:16.600 do they're fucking criminals this is a seedy place that we but you know i love it i love being here
00:28:24.740 and uh even though it's seedy i got noticed i got some guy yeah we're standing outside uh you were
00:28:32.000 scared he thought he was gonna stab you and then you were like oh that's a fan he's a nice guy he's
00:28:38.140 like yo but bank is bank is for mayor holy shit are you performing here yeah yo can i get tickets no
00:28:44.440 it's sold out yo what else you do i'm doing a show tonight and random place just a guest spot
00:28:51.020 yo dog where yo message me i'll give you a free ticket that was the whole conversation
00:28:57.200 then he walked away then we got an uber and i put these glasses on i couldn't see anything
00:29:03.260 which was better it was nice when you couldn't see and then you got your contact yeah it looks
00:29:07.760 like toronto and it's when i'm when i'm blind yeah the shows have been uh fire the surrey show the
00:29:15.020 early show was fire as fuck we it was packed and people were just so fired up my material was
00:29:22.820 really tight i tightened everything up i've been working hard on you know from the shows in ottawa
00:29:28.900 and all this stuff getting everything nice and tight for you guys tight it's comedy's good when
00:29:35.880 it's tight but sometimes some nights were loose the early show i was tight and the late show i was loose
00:29:42.400 loose loose and tight doesn't mean good or bad it's just like you know when you see chapelle and he's
00:29:48.960 like doing bits but he's he's also extrapolating and trying new that's loose so i was second show
00:29:58.020 was actually a special show for the people who came we were loose and we uh tried a bunch of new
00:30:03.320 material i came up with a really funny joke i don't want to give it away but um it has to do with
00:30:08.380 chinese people surprise surprise you're fired supplies there was a joke that my um my mom's
00:30:22.680 boyfriend told me at one point it was like there was uh like this guy was climbing mount ever everest
00:30:29.700 and he had like a the mongolian like helper or whatever helping him up the mountain and then
00:30:38.220 um he goes okay i'm gonna go start the fire and build the tent you go get supplies
00:30:45.240 and you guys go okay okay and so then he builds builds the tent gets the fire going and then
00:30:52.100 the chinese guy shows up and he goes he goes did you get the supplies he goes surprise
00:30:58.580 he just didn't have anything he thought he meant surprise surprise
00:31:05.380 there's a joke that was told to me it's a pretty good joke supplies
00:31:13.820 that's how you say it supplies it was a surprise
00:31:19.420 but the fans love it they love the chinese because it's so funny because it's not even
00:31:27.820 really a chinese it's just a fucking funny voice we should just get you the monkey mask at this point
00:31:32.380 i know we have to we just have to let's look it up today after after we record this podcast
00:31:37.080 we are going to find a monkey mask um
00:31:44.200 unless we should keep that as a surprise maybe we should keep it as a surprise for the fans
00:31:52.760 yeah well you don't have to i mean i feel like they all they all kind of know
00:31:57.200 they know it's coming they know it's coming yeah there will come a day when ben bank is
00:32:02.800 just does an hour in a gorilla suit
00:32:05.040 fuck no i think people know i think it's i think it's good to not you establish like i'm
00:32:12.100 actually a stand-up comic yeah i mean obviously i don't want i don't know then you'd be just
00:32:16.200 i'd really hate to see you just devolve into being a prop comic oh my god yeah i don't want to bring
00:32:24.320 anything on like turbans and swords just fucking juggling and shit i feel like that's what some of
00:32:30.420 my fans want but that's not what they're gonna get because i'm actually a funny comedian and i don't
00:32:35.020 do shit like that because it's gay obviously but the monkey mask we might figure something out we
00:32:40.680 might do a something for uh one specific show so that's the surprise we're not going to do it for
00:32:45.660 every show but there may be a specific show where um and if you and if that is the show that you're at
00:32:51.620 just know that is a very special show we're not going to tell you the show so you buy tickets to
00:32:56.080 every show yeah and come multiple times to see whether or not the monkey ask well it was it's
00:33:01.900 sold out well but folks the tour continues tomorrow night vancouver two shows sold out back to back
00:33:13.840 on east hastings in the fucking the show is in the ghetto in the circle of hell it's going to be
00:33:22.740 probably not the last night of our lives but it's going to be good uh the next time we come here
00:33:29.100 we're doing a massive theater and never doing any of this again i love how all the people like
00:33:33.120 remember the original venue i booked and people were like oh that's the nice neighborhood i don't
00:33:38.620 have money to go there why wouldn't i want to do it in the nice neighborhood i was going to stay in a
00:33:43.300 nice neighborhood i was going to do it in a nice neighborhood and then guess what this is where
00:33:47.640 we're at east hastings uh at the racetrack so it is a fuck casino baby so you're going to see some
00:33:56.240 some sadness there so uh but that's that's the perfect place for comedy where there's sadness
00:34:00.900 nearby so that show is going to be those shows are going to be awesome uh sunday i think i'm doing
00:34:07.320 something some surprise event tonight i'm doing a couple surprise events um and then
00:34:14.180 next week tuesday we're flying to colonna colonna bc there's still tickets i think for the late show
00:34:21.920 the early show is sold out that's april 4th then april um what is it 6th calgary we're coming
00:34:32.200 we're gonna be there first show sold out there's still some very few tickets available for the late
00:34:38.140 show i think only like 30 tickets or something like that uh and then the seventh edmonton is sold out
00:34:44.180 there's no more tickets for that show i am sorry better luck next time uh buy tickets earlier we
00:34:50.920 also they also changed the capacity on me there should have been more tickets but then they're like
00:34:55.060 oh we're full actually okay so there's that and then april uh 8th red deer alberta so if you can't
00:35:05.560 make calgary or edmonton go to red deer stay in a nice stay in a micro hotel or whatever terrible hotels
00:35:12.560 there um and then april 9th we are in fort mcmurray that is going to be a wild ass show it's in the
00:35:23.620 middle of nowhere i've been there once before i kind of know what to expect but it is a wild town so
00:35:29.240 we're going to be there then we're going to be somehow getting from there i guess we're probably
00:35:33.840 going to fly because i do not want to fucking drive we're going to fly to uh rejar saskatoon
00:35:41.220 saskatoon we're doing two nights 13th and the 14th the 13th i never announced because for some reason
00:35:47.980 i was told not to the 14th how dare you make money on this show yeah the plaza hotel um the 14th
00:35:58.840 in saskatoon the 15th in regina i don't know where somewhere and then from the 20th until the uh 28th
00:36:11.760 both weekends i will be doing shows at the new yuck yucks at what is it what's is it the fairmont
00:36:20.280 the marriott it's the marriott it's the fairmont or something it's something apparently it's the
00:36:25.400 nicest that's what everybody's telling me it's the nicest hotel i keep looking at it on google
00:36:31.180 there you go so yuck yucks is putting us in the nicest hotel in winnipeg
00:36:36.580 and giving us very little money so there's that but um so next time we go to winnipeg we'll probably
00:36:45.440 just do one show it'll be a banger instead of spreading all my crowd out through a bunch of shows
00:36:51.180 so that'll be interesting that's gonna be fun i might be performing for 15 people every night
00:36:55.540 i have no idea what to respect oh no these glasses are hurting my head i'm gonna have to take them
00:37:00.040 back there's no refunds i'll sell them i'm gonna have to give sell them for crack tonight
00:37:04.880 these tastings let's just start let's just go there and be like can we join you guys can we do
00:37:09.800 how do we belong here um that's basically the first leg of the tour and then the second one
00:37:18.720 kind of uh starts with right when we get back march uh may may 4th kingston kingston ontario
00:37:27.100 there's only like 50 tickets left go get them then we do montreal i think there's probably only 50
00:37:35.840 tickets or less for that june 1st and then june 17th in toronto we're bringing it home so folks
00:37:42.640 support us support the show on patreon patreon.com slash ben bankus that is where you can support my
00:37:51.660 career there's people who are like i don't want to give you money on there but go on something else
00:37:56.660 just fucking join patreon for the love of god six dollars a month um and you get access to a bonus
00:38:07.540 podcast every week we're about to put out a bonus podcast right now and then we're doing another
00:38:11.160 bonus podcast um for next week so join the club we're i think there's we're two away from 100 i think
00:38:19.760 by the end of this tour i should easily be at two or three hundred on patreon because you guys are the
00:38:25.500 best fans in the world the ben bankus fans are the best fans in the world everybody comes for
00:38:31.320 something different but i think once people realize the podcast even happens like i think a lot of my
00:38:36.200 fans are like you have a podcast they do not know i have a podcast if you did the podcast with the
00:38:41.640 monkey face filter the whole time i know maybe i know but i have a lot of og fans from before
00:38:47.160 the monkey so pre-monkey maybe they'll like this but anyway guys i love you guys you're the best
00:38:53.680 follow armin at armin our bobs a-r-m-i-n-a-r-b-o-b-z or z if you're in canada or u.s i forget which
00:39:06.380 one's which i gotta take these off like oh my god oh it's hurting my head it's hard being rich
00:39:13.560 yeah it's hard clothes are uncomfortable you're always at risk you're scared to walk the streets
00:39:22.800 of vancouver
00:39:23.440 yeah it's it's a beautiful city that just been should be nuked good night guys
00:39:34.800 you