Bankas Podcast - March 25, 2023


Ottawa pt 1. Tales from the Econolodge (Free Sample) ｜ The Bankas Show - Patreon Bonus #015


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

203.37454

Word count

2,254

Sentence count

285

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

119

sentences flagged

Hate speech

26

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Ronan and I went to a comedy show and it was a total disaster. It's a good thing we stayed in the Econo Lodge after the show because it was the only place we had a place to stay that wasn't too sketchy.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I'm jacking up, I didn't know this, that.
00:00:03.380 Anyway, we're kind of skipping some stuff.
00:00:06.320 We are, because the whole thing was traumatic.
00:00:09.240 So anyway, let's go back.
00:00:10.340 Let's keep going.
00:00:11.020 We're at the hotel.
00:00:12.240 We're in the Econo Lodge.
00:00:14.240 There's bruised and battered Filipinos. 0.99
00:00:16.380 There's Muslim families. 0.99
00:00:18.580 There's scary people. 0.99
00:00:21.260 We're smoking inside.
00:00:22.920 Ronan's mad.
00:00:23.680 We go to the show. 1.00
00:00:24.420 I give Ronan shit about the Econo Lodge. 0.99
00:00:26.320 I bring. 1.00
00:00:28.260 Oh, no, we left.
00:00:29.340 We literally went and checked into it. 0.97
00:00:30.860 I literally got a, we went on Hotwire and I fucking got a Sheridan. 0.91
00:00:34.760 And Mike Cardis. 0.95
00:00:35.860 And then Mike Cardis comes with us. 1.00
00:00:37.740 He fucked you too somehow. 1.00
00:00:38.980 He somehow screwed me over. 1.00
00:00:40.720 He made you spend $800 at a Sheridan.
00:00:42.540 Oh, yeah.
00:00:42.820 He's like, use Hotwire.
00:00:44.040 It's cheaper.
00:00:45.000 And then it ended up being in US dollars.
00:00:47.580 And it was like 200.
00:00:49.080 It was like 220.
00:00:51.880 So.
00:00:52.500 Yeah.
00:00:53.000 So we checked into a nice Sheridan.
00:00:55.060 No.
00:00:55.620 Yeah.
00:00:55.760 We checked into the Sheridan, which was a great hotel.
00:00:57.940 Oh, it was great.
00:00:59.780 It was great.
00:01:00.400 I would have stayed there the whole time.
00:01:02.060 And if we, if we were even had room, like, you know, it was one room for two people, but 0.96
00:01:06.040 there's like enough room that it wasn't fucked up. 0.96
00:01:08.260 Yeah. 0.82
00:01:08.700 It felt like a nice.
00:01:09.740 It was like a dorm room, like a big dorm room.
00:01:12.200 And then Cardis in the middle.
00:01:15.060 So anyway, so we go there.
00:01:16.800 We're at the Sheridan.
00:01:17.740 We're chilling.
00:01:18.180 We're drinking.
00:01:18.700 We go to the show. 1.00
00:01:19.620 We're ready to kill it. 0.99
00:01:20.940 It's packed. 0.99
00:01:21.780 I'm kind of excited, even though I know it's going to be shit because it's like all 90 year 0.99
00:01:25.340 olds. 1.00
00:01:25.940 And I'm giving Ronan shit because the fucking Econolodge sucked. 1.00
00:01:29.020 And I told him that I'm staying in a nice place. 1.00
00:01:31.160 And then anyway, we go on stage.
00:01:33.380 Oh, no.
00:01:33.840 He didn't want to start the show.
00:01:35.240 Yeah.
00:01:35.360 He wanted to wait 45 minutes.
00:01:36.920 They come up.
00:01:37.260 He comes up to me.
00:01:37.900 I'm like, why isn't the show starting?
00:01:39.160 It's eight o'clock.
00:01:39.700 The show's supposed to start at eight o'clock.
00:01:41.260 It was like eight, 10 or something.
00:01:44.080 And he's like, oh, we're going to wait 25 minutes until we find a spotlight because he
00:01:48.080 says we don't have a spotlight.
00:01:50.260 And I said, no, we're starting it now.
00:01:52.060 Luckily, I did that because they couldn't find a spotlight for like an hour.
00:01:54.740 And then they found it and then they brought it down and they turned it on and they couldn't 0.89
00:01:58.620 even fucking turn the lights in the building off. 0.99
00:02:00.540 It was just such a fucking disaster. 1.00
00:02:01.880 The whole thing was a disaster. 1.00
00:02:03.540 It was an unbelievable disaster.
00:02:04.920 And then the show, there was a million comedians on it.
00:02:08.260 And half of them were like, you know, unfortunately, you know, and they were disabled people in
00:02:13.460 the show.
00:02:13.880 And it was just it was just hectic.
00:02:15.880 And everybody did like so much time.
00:02:18.940 And it was like a two hour and 45 minute long show.
00:02:21.820 Really?
00:02:22.740 And people were just leaving in droves because they were too old to stay and all the lights
00:02:26.960 were on.
00:02:27.500 So it just made it feel like the show was over for the whole time. 0.98
00:02:30.380 And yeah, I shit on some girl because she my opening thing, I went up and got everybody 0.99
00:02:37.140 used to the fact that the lights were going to be on and the microphone was shit and you 0.99
00:02:40.560 had to stand in one area or else it would fucking like make a terrible noise. 0.99
00:02:45.380 And then I bring her on. 0.95
00:02:46.760 I don't know her name.
00:02:47.580 I go, what's your name?
00:02:48.420 She's screaming from the back or any or any. 1.00
00:02:51.180 And I go horny, borny or whatever the fuck. 1.00
00:02:55.140 And she comes on as super offended that I fucked up her name. 1.00
00:02:57.900 She's obviously some open mic or like nobody. 0.93
00:02:59.840 She's like, I performed comedy in Alaska.
00:03:02.100 It's like, OK, you didn't know. 1.00
00:03:03.720 Mike, what the fuck? 1.00
00:03:04.960 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:03:05.960 Performed comedy where no one lives. 1.00
00:03:07.900 So anyway, yeah.
00:03:08.940 So she goes up and she's like, COVID is bad.
00:03:11.840 I wish my aunt was here, but she's dead because of COVID.
00:03:14.460 COVID kills, unlike some comedians.
00:03:17.060 And that was her opener.
00:03:18.240 And then she bombed the whole time. 0.60
00:03:19.700 Yeah, she bombed. 1.00
00:03:20.240 And then I went on and then I pointed that out and I was an asshole about it. 0.99
00:03:23.100 And I was like that. 0.99
00:03:24.140 Remember when she said that I didn't kill and then she bombed? 0.94
00:03:27.280 And I just embarrassed her because she deserved that because she thought she could just go on and say that.
00:03:32.200 And I was going to be like, oh, I'm defeated.
00:03:34.500 You won. 0.99
00:03:35.260 I bombed and you killed. 1.00
00:03:37.140 But no, fuck you. 1.00
00:03:38.340 I'm not getting if I was getting paid twelve hundred dollars or fifteen hundred dollars or more. 1.00
00:03:42.260 Maybe I keep my mouth shut. 1.00
00:03:43.280 But for the price they were paying me, it's like, fuck you. 1.00
00:03:45.420 Yeah, fuck this bitch. 1.00
00:03:46.720 Made fun of her. 1.00
00:03:47.700 Made fun of somebody in the audience.
00:03:49.260 Then brought Ronan on.
00:03:51.460 He did OK.
00:03:53.100 Came back on. 0.99
00:03:54.620 I killed. 0.98
00:03:55.700 Brought a brought an arm and he killed. 0.94
00:03:58.260 And then after that, just the show went down.
00:04:00.360 And then it was just a long, long show.
00:04:04.140 And then, of course, you know, Mike Curtis calls us in the middle of the night after we're chilling at the hotel.
00:04:12.800 And it's just like, I need to come to your hotel.
00:04:15.780 There's cockroaches in the Econa Lodge.
00:04:17.700 I was like, yeah, I told you guys.
00:04:19.400 I can't believe you were willing to stay there at all.
00:04:21.860 You have no self-respect.
00:04:24.700 So then he had to come here. 1.00
00:04:26.340 Fucking Mike Curtis had to come all the way to fucking the goddamn Sheridan. 1.00
00:04:31.140 Keep us up all night. 1.00
00:04:32.640 And keep us up and just fucking be annoying. 0.99
00:04:35.040 Snore and make noise. 0.99
00:04:36.480 Snoring.
00:04:36.980 Ruffle a jacket.
00:04:38.460 Ugh.
00:04:39.780 It was terrible.
00:04:40.620 It was really just an awful experience.
00:04:42.940 Yeah.
00:04:44.060 And now we're in a comfort inn.
00:04:47.360 Yeah.
00:04:48.800 Which is worse.
00:04:50.200 Yeah.
00:04:51.680 We'll have to bleep that out.
00:04:53.560 Yeah.
00:04:53.840 But that was the story.
00:04:56.360 We've already told this story like 45 times today.
00:04:58.840 So it's too.
00:05:00.280 It's too traumatic at this point.
00:05:02.100 It was very traumatic.
00:05:02.940 I'll be honest with you guys.
00:05:03.860 It was traumatic.
00:05:04.660 It was a lot.
00:05:05.360 Then I wake up today to Ronan freaking out at my publicity.
00:05:09.760 The most Jewish argument I would see. 1.00
00:05:12.360 You called my publicity behind my back.
00:05:14.220 You complained.
00:05:15.120 And then I'm like, Conalage.
00:05:16.540 You put me in the college.
00:05:17.400 And I paid me in the.
00:05:19.940 Because I woke up and then.
00:05:21.340 Conalage.
00:05:21.840 Conalage.
00:05:22.280 What it was is I woke up.
00:05:24.620 And you were yelling at something.
00:05:26.460 I don't remember.
00:05:27.060 And then you were like, breakfast is done in 30 minutes.
00:05:29.180 And then we went and just like ate the most food I think we've ever eaten in a short amount of time.
00:05:34.280 And we came upstairs for you to just immediately start arguing with Ronan again. 0.50
00:05:38.920 Like you were like, round two.
00:05:40.580 There was no break.
00:05:41.720 I went and took a shower and I came out. 1.00
00:05:43.640 And you were just like, fucking this asshole. 1.00
00:05:46.540 He's unprofessional. 1.00
00:05:47.500 He's a hack. 0.99
00:05:48.420 He has no talent.
00:05:49.860 He's not going to make it. 1.00
00:05:50.900 His career is shit. 1.00
00:05:52.500 I'm telling you. 1.00
00:05:53.280 He's shit. 1.00
00:05:55.120 Curtis is just like dead at this point. 1.00
00:05:57.080 I swear.
00:05:57.480 I thought he OG'd. 1.00
00:05:58.700 He had a fucking jacket over his head. 1.00
00:06:00.740 Over his head. 1.00
00:06:01.440 Like I thought he was dead.
00:06:03.220 I was just yelling.
00:06:04.720 You were just screaming.
00:06:05.680 You were just screaming.
00:06:05.980 You were just screaming.
00:06:06.560 Top of your lungs for like two hours.
00:06:08.760 And then you're like, we got to lay check in so I can fight with my publicist about Ronan Geisler.
00:06:12.660 It's the most psychotic morning. 0.99
00:06:17.600 And then we're like, we have to do a fucking show today. 1.00
00:06:21.580 And then we tried to get gay tattoos. 1.00
00:06:23.840 We tried to get magic tattoos. 0.73
00:06:25.040 I regret not doing that.
00:06:35.320 This is comedy, folks.
00:06:36.660 This is what it is.
00:06:37.380 It's just really arguing with Jews about where you're going to stay. 0.86
00:06:40.640 What's even funnier is Biden is flying into Ottawa as I'm here.
00:06:45.820 He's probably in the Econ Lodge.
00:06:48.060 Ronan Geisler booked him in the Econ Lodge.
00:06:50.360 Oh, Joe.
00:06:51.360 You're also at the Econ Lodge. 1.00
00:06:53.120 I guess you also have Jews booking a fucking hotel. 0.99
00:06:57.760 I think he's in the Sheraton, dude. 1.00
00:06:59.820 Joe Biden at the Sheraton.
00:07:02.280 I wouldn't be surprised.
00:07:02.780 Definitely not.
00:07:03.280 He's staying at the fair or whatever there, like the Chateau Laurier.
00:07:06.620 Yeah, but they booked out every room.
00:07:08.860 Isn't that what they do?
00:07:09.440 Yeah, for all the staff.
00:07:10.840 Maybe some staff or something, you know?
00:07:12.680 Yeah, I saw a lot of diplomat cards, which was cool. 1.00
00:07:15.000 I'm here to be a fucking queer. 0.99
00:07:17.280 I'm here to try to pass another bill, 1.00
00:07:19.840 letting trans people do whatever they want to anyone. 0.94
00:07:21.520 I want to pass a bill where if a comedian goes to a Jewish comedy festival
00:07:24.700 and he makes fun of everybody, then he goes to jail for one day.
00:07:28.420 We have the Geisler bill.
00:07:31.200 The Geisler Accords. 1.00
00:07:32.620 Dude, he was fucking so like, you guys are pieces of shit. 1.00
00:07:38.560 They're great comics, but you're pieces of shit. 1.00
00:07:40.960 And I kept trying to explain to him, like, dude, that's why we're funny 1.00
00:07:43.840 is the fact that we're insane.
00:07:46.400 Like, you know who's not insane? 1.00
00:07:47.980 Fucking Orly Matlow. 0.99
00:07:50.420 He gets on stage. 1.00
00:07:51.360 My boyfriend's going to email young publicist about how awful this was.
00:07:56.360 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:07:57.300 The main reason he was upset, too, wasn't that these people are upset.
00:08:00.180 I said, you could have lost a sponsor for some Israeli bonds. 1.00
00:08:03.820 Fucking Ukrainian. 1.00
00:08:05.580 Forex trading company. 1.00
00:08:06.700 Money smuggling. 1.00
00:08:07.880 Fucking tax evasion clinic. 1.00
00:08:10.800 Do you know how hard I worked with my accountant to fucking burn the books? 1.00
00:08:14.400 Do you know how hard it was to get a Jew to give me money? 0.99
00:08:17.100 It took me five years.
00:08:18.940 I've been booking this show for five years.
00:08:20.820 He's like, how much did he give you?
00:08:22.180 A thousand dollars. 1.00
00:08:24.520 Shut up, Ronan, you fucking idiot. 1.00
00:08:26.700 Get a real job, dude. 1.00
00:08:27.980 Yeah, what is your job? 0.98
00:08:28.860 I'm trying to scam old Jews into seeing me do comedy. 1.00
00:08:33.300 I've been pimping my Yugoslavian stripper girlfriend for months. 1.00
00:08:37.240 I love that he just has this, like, group of, like, bad Jewish comics that he wants. 1.00
00:08:41.960 And then he brings in me.
00:08:43.060 And then I'm like, put Armin on. 0.99
00:08:44.360 We both kill. 0.99
00:08:45.460 I literally called out all the Jews for being bad at comedy. 1.00
00:08:48.420 Dude, the people that don't come because it's too offensive and all this stuff, 0.98
00:08:52.760 he's going to make up with people who are like, oh, did you hear about this Jewish comedy thing 0.99
00:08:56.740 where it's just, like, fucking crazy? 0.99
00:08:59.140 Yeah. 1.00
00:08:59.680 What the fuck is this whole, like, oh, my God. 0.99
00:09:02.540 Bad for business. 0.99
00:09:03.220 He's like, don't you do corporate gigs for yuck yucks?
00:09:06.040 I mean, not really.
00:09:06.960 I've done, like, two.
00:09:07.900 And it was for, like, a construction company.
00:09:09.600 And remember when we did, I took you to that corporate gig where it was all those OPP officers?
00:09:13.780 Yeah, I remember that one.
00:09:14.820 And then they were mad at me because I ate too many chicken wings and all the kinds of things. 1.00
00:09:19.040 It's like, fuck that. 0.99
00:09:20.280 I'm done with all this, like, you ate too much. 1.00
00:09:22.260 You did that.
00:09:22.780 I'm doing my own shows.
00:09:24.140 They're sold out. 1.00
00:09:25.000 Suck my dick. 1.00
00:09:25.760 I'm eating as much as I fucking want, dude. 1.00
00:09:27.780 I do like the shitty shows, though, sometimes. 0.99
00:09:30.680 I do like the, like, just it's something to talk about. 1.00
00:09:33.560 It's cathartic for sure to just go up there and be like, fuck it. 0.99
00:09:38.620 People are impressed. 0.99
00:09:39.680 And, like, we don't even know why because we don't get it.
00:09:42.580 It's just, like, who would go in front of a group of people like that and say the things that we said?
00:09:46.920 I mean, it's absolutely insane.
00:09:48.840 Yeah.
00:09:49.460 I like how that one guy goes up and goes, Ben Bankus is courageous for that.
00:09:53.340 And then it's just, like, people are, like, the people who are mad are probably like, but they were probably gone at that point.
00:09:59.240 Let's be honest.
00:09:59.760 The people who are writing emails left within 15 minutes or they died.
00:10:03.220 They passed away.
00:10:04.260 I know.
00:10:04.480 Ronan's like, I got one email.
00:10:05.900 The radiation killed him.
00:10:07.780 Ronan's like, I go.
00:10:09.360 I'm like, how often do you even want to do shows here?
00:10:11.580 He's like, once a year?
00:10:12.760 I'm like, okay.
00:10:13.320 Oh, my God.
00:10:14.040 These people have Alzheimer's.
00:10:15.180 You think in a year from now, they're going to be like, oh, that was the scary show we went to where the Jew talked about the transgender rights. 1.00
00:10:22.540 And it was funny.
00:10:23.500 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:10:24.140 If you're enjoying this episode and you want to listen to the rest of it, go to Patreon.com slash Ben Bankus.
00:10:30.880 That is the best way to support Ben and his comedy career, his future.
00:10:35.140 You get access to bonus content from everything you like, from the podcast to stand up to the human monkey hybrid to Teresa, Teresa, the human monkey hybrid.
00:10:48.940 And even Handong.
00:10:52.540 I'm sorry.
00:10:53.620 Handong.
00:10:54.600 Don't be so mean to.
00:10:56.040 So if you want bonus podcasts and all of this content, you want to support my career, go over to Patreon.com slash Ben Bankus right now.
00:11:04.320 Thank you so much.