Bankas Podcast - Parx Casino Sold Out After Show ｜ Bankas Podcast

00:00:00.000 Portland, Oregon, August 27th to 29th.

00:00:04.540 We just added a matinee show on Saturday.

00:00:08.240 Go get your tickets.

00:00:09.500 BenBankus.com for all of these.

00:00:11.860 Charlestown, West Virginia, September 5th.

00:00:13.840 We sold out September 4th.

00:00:15.420 We got tickets.

00:00:17.040 Aurora, Illinois sold out.

00:00:18.540 Austin, Minnesota sold out.

00:00:19.940 Calgary, Alberta, two shows sold out, but we added a third.

00:00:23.100 September 13th, Sunday at Deerfoot Inn and Casino.

00:00:27.620 Syracuse, New York, we sold out, but we added a show.

00:00:30.260 Albany, New York, sold out.

00:00:31.900 Springfield, Massachusetts, still a couple tickets left for one show

00:00:35.140 on September 19th at our Roar Comedy Club.

00:00:39.520 Englewood, New Jersey, this is going to be the biggest comedy show

00:00:42.640 I've ever done in New Jersey at the Bergen Performing Arts Center

00:00:49.180 near Manhattan, Englewood, New Jersey, September 24th.

00:00:53.860 Get your tickets, bedbankist.com.

00:00:56.940 stroudsburg pa september 25th this will be the biggest show that i've ever done in pennsylvania

00:01:02.060 one couple seats bigger than the show i'm doing in ben salem that sold out

00:01:08.540 birmingham uh patch hog new york long island biggest show i've ever done in long island

00:01:14.540 tickets for september 26 are on sale there's a few left it's actually about 95 sold out

00:01:21.320 Birmingham Alabama September 30th October I'm in Atlanta Georgia Miami Salt Lake City Utah San

00:01:29.680 Diego California Pasadena California Hollywood California Ontario California Brea California

00:01:35.760 Nashville Tennessee Jacksonville Florida and then November New York City New York Comedy Festival

00:01:43.240 at Town Hall

00:01:45.620 November 12th

00:01:48.040 Port Charlotte, Florida, Tampa, Florida

00:01:49.840 Orlando, Florida, Sarasota, Florida

00:01:52.080 Naples, Florida

00:01:52.960 finishing the year off

00:01:55.320 in Niagara Falls, Canada

00:01:57.960 BenBankus.com, I love you guys

00:01:59.780 can't wait to see you, please share this podcast

00:02:02.040 with your friends, please like and subscribe

00:02:03.840 whether you're on Spotify, YouTube

00:02:05.700 Apple Podcasts, it doesn't matter

00:02:07.720 send this link to somebody because

00:02:09.280 my fans need to hear what I have to say

00:02:12.360 enjoy the show

00:02:13.840 there he is 1.00

00:02:15.400 that was a fucking hard slap 1.00

00:02:19.600 yeah 1.00

00:02:19.940 that just went in my ears

00:02:22.040 you should try working out with Josh

00:02:23.980 it's fun

00:02:24.460 that works out with Josh

00:02:26.040 he's into it

00:02:27.400 he hit a PR today

00:02:29.760 PR?

00:02:31.340 personal record

00:02:32.120 it's a new word

00:02:34.000 I heard about this word two days ago

00:02:37.440 but I say it like I knew it for my whole life

00:02:39.100 because I lost 20 to 40 pounds

00:02:40.620 so I'm just like PR PR

00:02:41.920 I keep breaking them

00:02:44.320 because you never set one

00:02:46.000 that's good

00:02:48.040 tonight was a PR for the

00:02:49.840 meet and greet

00:02:51.900 I mean PR for PA

00:02:53.660 PR for PA

00:02:55.000 most tickets sold at one show in Pennsylvania

00:02:58.080 ever

00:02:58.860 1500

00:03:00.140 probably one of the biggest shows on the east coast yet

00:03:04.280 I mean I have a few more coming up

00:03:06.000 that are similar size but that one was

00:03:08.020 wild to just

00:03:09.920 purely sell it out

00:03:11.280 that's where we are right now. That's what we just did

00:03:13.880 is

00:03:14.160 that show and Harrison was the

00:03:17.720 opener and this is his

00:03:19.300 friend Harrison. The other

00:03:21.780 Harrison. Her last name's Harrison.

00:03:23.980 Yeah. Slater, first name. 0.99

00:03:26.000 Slater. That's like

00:03:27.720 a serious name. I know.

00:03:29.340 Your parents were like fucking watching Tomb Raider or something. 0.99

00:03:32.140 Yeah, Saved by the Bell. 0.99

00:03:33.480 Is that what it's from? No.

00:03:35.560 Dazed and Confused actually.

00:03:37.200 Really.

00:03:39.360 But it was a great show.

00:03:41.120 But we were just talking about how I wish I could play a Game Boy Color and be happy, but I can't.

00:03:47.260 I tried playing like a Game Boy Color game on my Nintendo Switch.

00:03:53.220 I tried playing Men in Black.

00:03:55.680 You know the Men in Black game where you just run across the back and forth and shoot the aliens?

00:04:01.300 I never got to play that.

00:04:02.420 When I played that as a kid, I remember my dad bought me a Game Boy Color.

00:04:05.740 He went on tour with the Symphony.

00:04:07.800 and then when he came back

00:04:10.200 he brought me a game

00:04:10.900 it blew my mind

00:04:12.080 it was like the coolest thing

00:04:13.060 just holding it

00:04:14.460 I had the purple one

00:04:15.700 with the see-through

00:04:16.460 and it was just

00:04:18.500 bliss

00:04:20.040 I mean I was in grade

00:04:21.440 I was in the first grade

00:04:22.700 played it

00:04:24.120 till I was cross-eyed

00:04:25.660 and needed glasses

00:04:26.380 for the rest of my life

00:04:27.340 it probably made me 1.00

00:04:28.500 fuck my eyes 0.99

00:04:29.420 no that's how my parents 1.00

00:04:30.380 found out that I had

00:04:31.420 bad eyesight

00:04:32.060 because I was playing

00:04:32.840 the video game like this

00:04:33.900 I was like

00:04:34.340 oh yeah

00:04:35.660 you couldn't look at me

00:04:36.540 because that was the only way

00:04:37.600 I could see, so then they took

00:04:39.660 me to...

00:04:41.140 The optometrist. But what do you do?

00:04:43.240 These people want to...

00:04:44.980 I don't know if this should be in the frame.

00:04:49.040 These people

00:04:49.840 wanted me to gamble

00:04:55.400 tonight. They were like...

00:04:56.560 They want you to gamble? They want you to drink?

00:04:58.460 They did a lap.

00:05:00.160 They did a lap where they, instead of taking me

00:05:02.640 right to the hotel after, they drove

00:05:04.240 around the casino and then

00:05:06.520 through the front entrance

00:05:07.620 where they were kind of like,

00:05:09.280 huh?

00:05:10.140 You sure?

00:05:10.900 Because like,

00:05:11.420 I mean,

00:05:12.120 how many of their performers,

00:05:13.540 I mean,

00:05:13.820 I don't know.

00:05:14.160 I don't want to talk about it.

00:05:15.660 That was a scenic route.

00:05:17.340 But I like,

00:05:17.920 I gambled earlier.

00:05:19.320 I lost everything.

00:05:22.320 I was just about to say that.

00:05:23.880 I thought he was joking

00:05:25.020 when he said that you,

00:05:26.500 he said,

00:05:26.700 it was busy.

00:05:27.500 You lost too much?

00:05:28.140 You don't want to go back?

00:05:29.220 No,

00:05:29.460 I told you guys what happened,

00:05:30.720 but for the fans,

00:05:31.700 I will reiterate

00:05:32.460 what I did at the casino before.

00:05:34.340 This was my pre-show at Parks.

00:05:36.520 About 1 p.m., go to the casino.

00:05:38.980 It's packed, by the way. 1.00

00:05:40.240 A lot of Asians.

00:05:44.360 They're winning. 1.00

00:05:45.100 So I go straight for the high limit, because that's what I won in Vegas, the high limit slots.

00:05:52.960 Yeah.

00:05:53.440 And I put in 600 bucks, and I lost everything down to $45.

00:05:58.940 Then I took that out, put it in a machine called Money Again.

00:06:03.780 That sounds like a shirt thing.

00:06:05.340 Yeah.

00:06:05.560 that was the whole thing

00:06:06.640 that was cash again

00:06:09.300 that's what it's called

00:06:10.180 cash again

00:06:11.140 so all you have to do

00:06:12.660 is hit it

00:06:13.140 one thing has to be

00:06:14.680 cash again

00:06:15.300 and then

00:06:16.320 you get a chance

00:06:17.880 to spin for the jackpot

00:06:19.020 basically

00:06:19.340 and I was getting

00:06:20.300 like every time

00:06:21.000 or you

00:06:21.440 so I go

00:06:22.580 from 45 bucks

00:06:23.740 up to 400 and something dollars

00:06:25.540 so I guess cash again

00:06:26.560 does work

00:06:26.980 right

00:06:27.380 cash out

00:06:28.400 go to the

00:06:29.440 virtual roulette

00:06:30.660 lose

00:06:31.300 200 bucks

00:06:32.940 take the other 200 bucks 0.84

00:06:34.460 to the blackjack table

00:06:35.380 I'm playing, I'm up for a minute

00:06:37.620 then some Chinese guy sat beside me 1.00

00:06:39.520 and did some weird

00:06:40.200 he like started laughing, he was like

00:06:42.880 and then he like

00:06:45.080 and like took my chips or something

00:06:47.120 I'm pretty sure he might have stolen my chips

00:06:49.120 unconfirmed

00:06:51.120 allegedly, I don't know

00:06:53.300 I don't want, you know, the casino is going to be like

00:06:55.180 what happened, what was the time code

00:06:57.480 it's fine

00:06:58.520 let him have it, he stole like

00:07:01.240 60 bucks of like

00:07:03.420 $5 chips

00:07:04.460 probably less

00:07:06.600 like 40 bucks

00:07:08.200 yeah

00:07:08.660 and then

00:07:09.500 but then I won

00:07:10.420 on like a side bet

00:07:11.300 I put 25 dollars

00:07:12.400 on a side bet

00:07:13.040 and I won 100 bucks

00:07:14.060 and he's like

00:07:14.400 oh see

00:07:14.840 it's fun

00:07:15.280 he was kind of like

00:07:16.520 oh see

00:07:16.940 I stole your money

00:07:18.020 but I won it back

00:07:19.080 anyway

00:07:19.400 anyway

00:07:20.540 it was really creepy

00:07:21.240 and then his

00:07:21.800 what we were laughing at

00:07:23.160 is his son came over

00:07:24.580 and his son was like

00:07:25.900 a more obvious

00:07:26.660 like no accent

00:07:27.760 but he was like

00:07:28.400 an older person

00:07:28.940 or like a kid

00:07:29.480 the son

00:07:30.760 the son was like

00:07:31.640 I mean an adult

00:07:33.080 like 20

00:07:33.660 probably 22

00:07:34.440 and he was just like oh how's this

00:07:36.860 and his dad

00:07:38.140 dad's like go sit sit down

00:07:40.720 and then the son's like

00:07:42.120 I already lost everything he's like oh go get more

00:07:45.040 money bring it back

00:07:46.080 that's what he said to me

00:07:47.760 and then he stole my chips

00:07:49.800 he's like come on son this is the way you do it

00:07:52.800 yeah he was cool though

00:07:54.740 I liked him

00:07:55.320 I liked him until he stole my chips and I was like 0.99

00:07:58.580 fuck that's like real 1.00

00:08:01.000 it's almost like 1.00

00:08:02.880 respectable when it's like you actually won

00:08:04.960 my heart in like this little moment and stole

00:08:07.000 from me like it's almost like this weird like

00:08:09.000 that guy's like he does that

00:08:11.100 yeah that's not his first time

00:08:13.060 he does that all through the

00:08:14.920 casino with like everybody I mean the casinos

00:08:16.920 do not in Vegas we went

00:08:18.960 to where we were at Caesars

00:08:20.820 and I played something

00:08:23.080 and then they just the guy takes all

00:08:24.960 the people and they took my side bet

00:08:26.940 or something and I was like hey already know he's

00:08:28.940 taking all the side bets and then he took

00:08:31.000 my main bet and i go you just took my main bet and then he's like oh sorry and then he only gave

00:08:36.100 me two chips back but it was three chips really and then i was like no no we got to call the thing

00:08:40.440 and then they called in they look and they go yeah it was three chips wow so the guy worked there 0.98

00:08:45.740 just like snagged was just like ah fuck it like that's crazy dude like yeah you have to i've that's 0.97

00:08:50.520 i've had to have the casino call up a few times that happened winnipeg canada had to do it there 0.99

00:08:56.840 is like really sketchy.

00:08:57.880 Why are they targeting you?

00:08:59.580 I'll just see.

00:09:00.220 I mean,

00:09:00.620 it's,

00:09:01.120 I mean,

00:09:01.460 also it's not their fault.

00:09:02.880 They're just doing the same thing

00:09:04.060 over and over again

00:09:04.880 with their hands.

00:09:05.420 So they just like grab,

00:09:06.640 yeah,

00:09:06.900 they make mistakes.

00:09:08.640 It's not like on purpose.

00:09:10.020 I mean, 0.98

00:09:10.480 when it's a fucking 1.00

00:09:11.160 person playing you, 1.00

00:09:12.720 when it's telling you,

00:09:13.480 oh, 1.00

00:09:14.220 what a fucker. 1.00

00:09:17.400 Oh, 1.00

00:09:17.600 make mistake.

00:09:18.320 It was banka,

00:09:19.000 not prayer.

00:09:21.040 I love Mahjong,

00:09:23.100 by the way.

00:09:24.160 I don't know how to play that, 0.99

00:09:25.100 but it looks fucking dope. 0.99

00:09:26.020 It's very, 0.99

00:09:26.460 it's literally

00:09:27.240 it's like playing roulette

00:09:28.640 if it was only red and black

00:09:29.820 it's literally the whole thing

00:09:31.100 oh what

00:09:31.440 yeah

00:09:31.820 there's actually red black

00:09:33.320 and then tie

00:09:34.440 tie

00:09:35.400 it's the first

00:09:36.360 the first

00:09:36.960 so player and banker

00:09:38.180 there's two sides

00:09:39.060 they both get card

00:09:40.120 three cards

00:09:40.800 so whoever's closer

00:09:41.920 to the number nine

00:09:42.780 and that's okay

00:09:43.860 and tens are zeros

00:09:44.960 okay

00:09:45.600 and so like

00:09:46.360 if you get a tens

00:09:46.980 a zero

00:09:47.600 you're already lost

00:09:49.400 so if you get ten

00:09:50.400 nine

00:09:50.900 and then

00:09:51.680 you know

00:09:53.140 two 1.00

00:09:53.840 then you fucked out 1.00

00:09:54.880 you're over 0.99

00:09:55.480 you bust basically basically yeah oh so it's like blackjack and then if they got three then they won

00:10:01.940 yeah but if you got eight and they got three they won okay so i don't know i think that that might

00:10:09.080 even be wrong information but all you do is player banker you just put money on player bank and it's

00:10:13.500 one or the other that's it and you see that little graph where it's like oh why is the line going this

00:10:18.360 way now it's going it's because it kept going that one it's like red red red red red and then it

00:10:23.860 doesn't start the next one yeah so red's like whatever i don't know i love it i love gambling

00:10:29.500 but this casino i just so if you don't wait i feel like if you don't win right away it's like

00:10:34.480 you gotta go it's like bad juju but you never know in this one in particular no any any casino

00:10:39.480 like you walk in if your first spin is win keep gambling there it's like good luck yeah but if

00:10:45.560 you go there or like your first hand is a win but if you go and it's just like boom you lost you're 1.00

00:10:49.660 like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:10:50.520 I don't know. 1.00

00:10:51.000 I mean, obviously that's the addiction

00:10:53.960 is you want to just keep going.

00:10:55.320 That happens to me at every casino.

00:10:55.780 Which is lucky,

00:10:56.400 but my bank only lets me take out

00:10:58.060 like 200 bucks at a time.

00:11:00.480 I love that.

00:11:01.340 I love it.

00:11:01.620 Do you limit it when you're at a casino?

00:11:02.840 I don't know if it's because I'm at a casino.

00:11:04.960 They just limit it because...

00:11:07.340 I guess it's just limited.

00:11:10.720 Like, I could call in right now

00:11:12.760 and be like, hey, I'm at a casino.

00:11:15.620 I got to do it.

00:11:16.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:17.760 And, like, up it.

00:11:19.660 That was the one night in Vegas that I lost.

00:11:22.300 My wife didn't come out with me that night,

00:11:24.460 and then she's good luck,

00:11:25.640 but I went out with just Armin,

00:11:26.740 and I'm just losing everywhere.

00:11:28.320 And it was just awful.

00:11:29.560 And I'm like pulling out Canadian debit cards,

00:11:32.180 and I'm putting it in.

00:11:33.920 It's like $800 for $400 in Canadian dollars

00:11:37.960 with the thing.

00:11:39.280 I remember when we were in Niagara,

00:11:41.320 and you were like...

00:11:41.620 I took out the max of every card,

00:11:43.120 which was like $300 on each card. 0.99

00:11:45.040 That's fucking insane. 1.00

00:11:46.080 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:11:46.640 But it's... 0.99

00:11:47.020 I mean, you don't want to have...

00:11:48.000 It's crazy to just be like,

00:11:49.340 yeah, I can take out 10 grand

00:11:51.100 in my bank account.

00:11:51.900 It's insane. 1.00

00:11:52.800 You're fucked. 1.00

00:11:55.280 Banks have to do it. 1.00

00:11:56.460 It's like a legal thing.

00:11:57.420 They probably got sued at one point.

00:11:59.040 Somebody who was like,

00:12:00.200 the first guy.

00:12:01.820 Yeah, the first guy to do it.

00:12:03.740 And that guy was a genius

00:12:04.620 because so basically he was like, 1.00

00:12:05.860 fuck it, I'll just go bankrupt, 1.00

00:12:07.320 ruin my life and then sue. 1.00

00:12:08.900 And it probably worked

00:12:10.260 over and over again

00:12:11.020 until people,

00:12:11.800 their bank was like,

00:12:12.580 okay, we have to like

00:12:13.360 put limits on the credit card

00:12:14.640 or debit card purchases.

00:12:16.000 Yeah, they have your location.

00:12:17.800 They're like,

00:12:18.120 He's spending it erratically.

00:12:19.600 We need to cap this off.

00:12:22.380 Norm MacDonald,

00:12:24.160 I was going to say

00:12:25.260 Mark Norm.

00:12:26.900 Norm MacDonald

00:12:27.820 loved to gamble.

00:12:31.380 His whole thing was like, what's so bad about

00:12:33.280 having an addiction to hope?

00:12:35.440 That's all it is. You're just addicted to hope.

00:12:37.620 I hope that it...

00:12:38.960 That's a good one. That's a good way to put it.

00:12:41.140 That makes me want to gamble.

00:12:42.760 It makes me want to gamble.

00:12:44.140 Honestly,

00:12:44.780 Honestly, it's probably better if we wait and then go back to the casino.

00:12:50.480 Because right now, if we had gone right away,

00:12:52.820 every single person from the show is there.

00:12:55.080 You can't win.

00:12:56.660 They're going to be all over you.

00:12:57.940 They're going to be, I want another picture.

00:12:59.400 I want a thing.

00:13:02.920 The only time I did well was, I think it was Mohegan's son,

00:13:07.820 and there was a 21-year-old kid and his dad that were fans,

00:13:10.740 and he was like, can my son play with you?

00:13:13.420 And I was like, yeah.

00:13:14.360 Can myself play with you? 1.00

00:13:15.920 And then, yeah, can you play with your little ding-a-ling? 0.99

00:13:18.380 No, play at blackjack. 0.65

00:13:22.480 And he sat, so this, it wasn't jerking me off. 0.92

00:13:27.580 It was all over the table. 0.58

00:13:31.140 And he played with me for a bit, and I won some money and left. 0.95

00:13:38.600 I mean, it kind of fucked me up, though.

00:13:39.680 It was one of those where you have to play the whole shoe if you start it,

00:13:43.300 which is like the good blackjack

00:13:44.860 and there was a guy

00:13:46.860 I liked it because it has

00:13:48.000 it's one of them where they have the jackpot

00:13:51.220 on the side bet

00:13:52.300 so every side bet you get a chance to

00:13:54.500 if it's like a flush it's like you win like 120 grand 0.98

00:13:57.420 or whatever the fuck it is 0.97

00:13:58.320 so it's 1.00

00:14:00.800 did you win that night

00:14:03.080 with the kid

00:14:04.680 that you played with

00:14:05.800 Josh

00:14:08.860 can I see that 0.99

00:14:10.320 i won with the kid he kind of fucked he kind of fucked me up though what do you mean 0.96

00:14:21.540 it's like i i don't like to talk about it 0.99

00:14:26.240 you're fine

00:14:39.740 Can I hit it?

00:14:41.240 He's scared that you're going to run out.

00:14:43.740 And not blow it out.

00:14:44.620 Yeah, I'm just going to inhale it and then swallow.

00:14:46.160 You can't set up for an alarm from the vape.

00:14:47.960 No, I'm cool.

00:14:50.960 We smoked so aggressively. 0.77

00:14:52.660 Armin and I, we had this shitty in Halifax, Canada, 0.99

00:14:56.820 which is like this shitty hotel. 0.80

00:15:01.540 But we had like a suite, and it was big, 0.98

00:15:03.920 but we were just obnoxious.

00:15:05.500 They had a window, but we opened the window,

00:15:07.020 but we were just pure just like any time we wanted a cigarette like just all day long

00:15:11.260 just cigarettes whatever and just yeah they came to the door and they were like you have to stop

00:15:16.880 smoking in here and then i was like what's what's what's the fine she was like two hundred dollars

00:15:21.840 i'm like okay charge me two hundred bucks and leave me alone yeah what do they say to that

00:15:26.920 you can't they just like mad they were just like woke it's funny how the woke places where they

00:15:30.880 allow more things to happen like drug use and open drug use but if you go to a hotel in a

00:15:36.900 woke state and smoke a cigarette inside,

00:15:38.980 they'll freak out. But if you were doing

00:15:41.000 heroin, it'd be happy in front of

00:15:42.940 the building.

00:15:44.180 It doesn't make

00:15:46.180 a lot of sense.

00:15:48.280 Oh, casinos.

00:15:49.940 Yeah, the kid. Was he a good luck charm or bad luck?

00:15:54.100 I didn't

00:15:54.980 win any. I think he kind of

00:15:56.800 fucked me up. That's what I was saying because the shoe was like 0.96

00:15:58.800 I had to play the whole shoe.

00:16:00.700 So it's like if you leave, you leave. You can't come

00:16:02.820 back.

00:16:04.080 I forget the rules.

00:16:07.240 That's why I was shocked when they don't even allow

00:16:09.020 cigarette smoking in here. I feel like casinos

00:16:10.980 is like fair game. Like you always see people

00:16:13.140 smoking inside. Yeah, Vegas.

00:16:14.980 I guess Mohegan didn't. Vegas lets you, no?

00:16:17.000 Vegas lets you. Vegas lets you do anything.

00:16:18.800 No, Vegas you can smoke inside, but here

00:16:20.620 some casinos, Canadian casinos, you can't

00:16:23.040 smoke inside. It's so weird. King of Prussia

00:16:24.820 they let you at certain slots. King of Prussia.

00:16:26.720 Yeah, yeah. If you're sitting at a 0.59

00:16:28.900 King of Prussia. Have you heard of that?

00:16:30.660 No, but I like it. It sounds like everything's allowed

00:16:33.040 there. Stress Factory. Oh, really?

00:16:34.980 It says the Stress Factory, Valley Forge. 1.00

00:16:36.900 Oh, oh, wow, shit. 0.99

00:16:39.580 It's good that you're, well, I mean, because, I mean, Harrison has seen, once you start 1.00

00:16:47.220 touring and coming with me, you know, he's like, oh, shit. 0.91

00:16:52.520 Like, you see a whole other, because until you actually go out and see what's happening, 0.98

00:16:57.020 you have no idea what's happening.

00:16:57.900 Oh, 100%.

00:16:58.660 I mean, I had no, even in Canada, I was touring in Canada, basically the same thing, except

00:17:03.500 Canadian comedy clubs, but still had no, it was all.

00:17:06.880 places you've heard of even like americans almost have heard of calgary i mean there was a lot of

00:17:11.260 small towns and stuff but america has places you haven't heard of that aren't small i mean king of

00:17:16.980 pressure i mean it's part basically part of philly right i'd say yeah like 20 minutes outside but

00:17:21.760 it's its own thing yeah canada doesn't really canada has more there's nothing for a bit and

00:17:27.020 then another thing so we don't realize how many things but there we we drove through a beautiful

00:17:32.140 I took a wrong turn today

00:17:34.020 I didn't have my

00:17:35.140 the sound on

00:17:37.340 the audio

00:17:37.820 the lady telling me

00:17:38.660 what to do

00:17:39.120 so we just

00:17:40.080 went the wrong way

00:17:40.920 and then it had to

00:17:41.500 we get off

00:17:42.320 but we cut through

00:17:43.340 this really nice area

00:17:44.260 I think it was called

00:17:44.820 Longwoods or something

00:17:46.020 Longbridge

00:17:47.760 probably

00:17:48.240 no

00:17:48.980 I know where that is

00:17:50.400 no it was

00:17:50.840 it was like woods

00:17:51.740 something

00:17:52.020 really nice

00:17:54.060 little farmhouses

00:17:55.400 and

00:17:55.980 church is beautiful

00:17:57.620 I like church

00:17:58.420 yeah it's actually nice

00:18:00.120 I'm very shocked by that

00:18:01.500 because I just think, like, toilet water.

00:18:03.840 Well, that's because the northern part.

00:18:05.720 It's the New York propaganda.

00:18:08.140 The New York propaganda is that nowhere's better than New York.

00:18:10.940 They even have those signs, a New Yorker is a New Yorker. 1.00

00:18:14.400 It's all bullshit. 0.99

00:18:16.120 They have that in Jersey? 1.00

00:18:17.600 No, when you're in New York, in New York there's signs that are like,

00:18:20.840 only a New Yorker knows how to live in New York.

00:18:24.640 Some way to make you be like, yeah, I know you pay for an overpriced 1.00

00:18:28.540 and you live in shit. 1.00

00:18:30.900 No, Jersey. 1.00

00:18:31.880 Oh, yeah, that's dirty.

00:18:32.900 It's like you drive.

00:18:33.640 It's a garden state.

00:18:34.680 It's beautiful.

00:18:35.440 The luscious thing.

00:18:38.860 All the states.

00:18:39.700 I love all the catchphrases for things

00:18:42.300 because there's Philly,

00:18:44.180 city of brotherly love.

00:18:45.740 It's so true.

00:18:47.600 What's Jersey's?

00:18:49.240 Jersey's garden state.

00:18:50.920 Yeah, but is there like...

00:18:51.620 Is it for cities?

00:18:52.920 Newark?

00:18:53.220 Yeah.

00:18:53.500 Can we look up the Newark...

00:18:56.500 Yeah, the Newark slogan, unbelievable.

00:19:01.880 The Newark needs some new time.

00:19:04.300 I don't know.

00:19:04.880 What do you do in Newark? 0.99

00:19:07.220 Get shot.

00:19:08.560 Is it sketchy as well? 0.95

00:19:09.940 It was for a long time.

00:19:11.460 There's a lot of auto body shops.

00:19:12.980 When I went to Newark, it's like auto body shops

00:19:15.200 and like the scariest Popeyes you've ever seen.

00:19:17.440 Yeah.

00:19:18.240 And just.

00:19:19.160 My buddy got his car stolen there.

00:19:20.960 They found it like.

00:19:21.520 Yeah.

00:19:21.660 Like a mile or two.

00:19:23.260 No, not Popeyes.

00:19:24.260 I was like, I knew better.

00:19:25.880 Come on, that's their fault

00:19:28.020 Stole it at Popeye's

00:19:31.540 No slogan for Newark?

00:19:35.260 Newark?

00:19:37.340 I was going to say

00:19:38.280 Newark or New York?

00:19:39.840 No, Newark

00:19:41.320 That's great 1.00

00:19:43.480 So Newark is such a shithole 1.00

00:19:45.060 The only people come here to come out 0.99

00:19:48.620 And fly in and fly out, that's it

00:19:50.400 Toronto's is

00:19:52.200 Hogtown

00:19:55.180 What the hell does that mean?

00:19:55.840 And Big Smoke.

00:19:57.400 That's what they call it.

00:19:58.400 Because the fires?

00:19:59.260 Well, because it's the biggest city in Canada,

00:20:02.060 so it's like, oh, the Big Smoke, Toronto.

00:20:04.060 Oh, the Big City.

00:20:06.000 Big Smoke?

00:20:07.640 They call it the Big Smoke.

00:20:09.520 Yeah, and then Hogtown,

00:20:11.020 because it used to be where they had the pork business.

00:20:15.500 Oh, I was so much over there? 1.00

00:20:16.380 They had all the fucking slaughterhouses and shit. 1.00

00:20:21.180 Wow. 1.00

00:20:21.760 Well, New York's the city that never sleeps.

00:20:23.460 Chicago's the

00:20:24.920 Windy City

00:20:25.620 L.A.'s

00:20:27.060 Tinseltown

00:20:28.240 Right?

00:20:30.260 Yeah

00:20:30.520 Yeah

00:20:31.140 And then

00:20:31.860 Vegas is

00:20:33.760 Sin City

00:20:35.420 Yeah

00:20:35.920 And then

00:20:37.300 Nothing else

00:20:39.840 Austin's

00:20:40.860 Austin's just

00:20:41.640 Keep it weird

00:20:42.880 Yeah that's right

00:20:43.300 What is it?

00:20:43.820 Emerald City

00:20:44.560 Emerald City

00:20:45.420 Where?

00:20:46.500 Seattle?

00:20:47.240 Really?

00:20:47.980 Why?

00:20:49.360 It's like doors

00:20:49.840 See this is my thing

00:20:51.200 I like

00:20:52.300 I like the

00:20:54.320 woker cities more

00:20:56.860 to live.

00:20:58.180 I mean, yeah, they're cool.

00:20:59.720 As far as the cities...

00:21:01.040 Even Austin itself is like,

00:21:02.700 oh, this is like...

00:21:03.580 I mean, Dallas is freaking nice.

00:21:06.140 Houston's pretty kind.

00:21:07.420 But it's like,

00:21:08.040 I can't live in those places.

00:21:10.140 But Jersey,

00:21:10.880 I want to live in like a...

00:21:11.900 I don't commute every day.

00:21:15.420 I commute to an airport

00:21:16.380 and then I go to a place.

00:21:18.200 I don't need to live.

00:21:19.880 That's why I'm obsessing with 0.88

00:21:21.220 like you know now i'm looking up fucking zillow here yeah i could i could live here 0.85

00:21:28.260 it's fucking beautiful not pa yeah okay i i love i love it i love it i love it no it's lush actually 0.92

00:21:36.520 pa is beautiful too i mean if you go to pittsburgh pittsburgh dude pittsburgh's like a mini 0.95

00:21:42.480 manhattan it's on a little mini island and then it's surrounded by these like big basically on

00:21:49.100 not mountain, but kind of like

00:21:51.160 a mountain. Yeah. And water.

00:21:53.380 You get the best of both worlds. It's the bridge

00:21:55.160 city. I think it's the city of bridges or something.

00:21:57.620 That's what Pittsburgh's called.

00:21:59.320 No, it's because they have the most bridges

00:22:01.260 per capita or something.

00:22:04.460 Pittsburgh's steel,

00:22:05.460 but they also... What's the bridge

00:22:07.260 thing? Oh, steel. Yeah, you're right.

00:22:08.820 Can you look up Pittsburgh Bridge?

00:22:10.740 What's bridge slogan? I feel like they have...

00:22:12.820 I know it was Steel Town.

00:22:14.780 Or Steel City. Pittsburgh is great, though.

00:22:17.120 They have a bunch of old factories that they turn 0.89

00:22:19.000 into like loft apartments and shit like but they kept everything so it's like the heinz factory

00:22:24.020 the ketchup city of bridges i was right and bridges somebody to see people tell you these

00:22:29.600 things where you go that was that was a cool um yeah we did a show in pittsburgh at the fire hall 0.84

00:22:36.240 were you at did you film that no that was fucked up man why uh well we could smoke and drink inside 0.85

00:22:43.860 which was cool 0.98

00:22:44.440 but it was like crazy

00:22:45.460 so I was just like

00:22:47.000 hammered

00:22:47.720 like ate beers 1.00

00:22:48.600 like fucking cigarettes 1.00

00:22:50.120 on stage 1.00

00:22:50.920 like

00:22:51.180 oh yeah

00:22:52.060 it was

00:22:53.200 I would have loved it

00:22:54.620 with like basically

00:22:55.360 no spotlight

00:22:56.380 like in the dark

00:22:57.380 just hammered

00:22:58.160 just all you could see

00:22:58.800 is the cigarette butt

00:22:59.800 like lighting up 1.00

00:23:01.200 like a fucking 1.00

00:23:01.920 jazz musician 1.00

00:23:02.860 that's awesome

00:23:03.240 it was

00:23:03.640 yeah it was kind of cool

00:23:04.860 but

00:23:06.000 when was this

00:23:08.140 last year

00:23:08.860 or two years ago

00:23:09.560 maybe last

00:23:10.300 2025

00:23:10.840 oh god

00:23:11.740 yeah

00:23:13.500 a lot of shows

00:23:14.800 I want to

00:23:15.300 I mean it's crazy

00:23:17.540 I mean I don't want

00:23:18.180 to toot my own horn

00:23:19.420 but

00:23:19.700 do you have a favorite

00:23:20.620 place

00:23:21.320 or one club

00:23:22.540 you look forward

00:23:23.080 to going back to

00:23:23.860 um

00:23:25.460 I mean

00:23:27.220 Yuck Yucks

00:23:27.740 in Toronto

00:23:28.340 I got the tattoo

00:23:30.200 so

00:23:31.040 oh yeah

00:23:32.020 you're a life right now

00:23:32.700 I mean I'm

00:23:33.360 I rap Yuck Yucks

00:23:34.600 because Mark Breslin

00:23:35.800 put up with

00:23:38.260 a lot of people

00:23:39.780 trying to like

00:23:40.320 tell him to

00:23:41.240 not let me

00:23:42.340 even before I had a phone

00:23:43.360 before i had a following when i was signed they're like you should let him be here yeah then when i

00:23:48.020 started doing the like covid satire they were like oh you got to get rid of him now and then

00:23:55.120 he never did and he just kept and he liked my comedy and he just and then when i you know i

00:24:01.060 remember the this night that i took armin to one of the first shows that i had him open for me in

00:24:07.460 burlington he was a guest spot so that they the way they do it is like i was the headliner

00:24:13.220 for the weekend but i still got like two three hundred bucks a show yeah canadian and then the

00:24:18.700 host got 150 and then the middle got 75 or whatever bullshit yeah but then i brought armin

00:24:25.220 in addition to do to like a guest spot yeah and then anyway everybody was there for me there was 0.89

00:24:31.820 nobody there who wasn't a fan and i realized like i can't fucking and then i talked to you i so 0.83

00:24:36.860 So before I, at first Yucks was like skeptical. 0.82

00:24:40.800 They were like, I don't know if you can sell out on a Wednesday.

00:24:45.180 You know, like we still think that we're helping you sell out because of our name.

00:24:48.800 Because those shows just sell out at Yucks.

00:24:52.200 Not all of them, but they sell well.

00:24:53.760 Like people just buy tickets to Yuck Yucks.

00:24:55.360 They don't know who's going to be there.

00:24:56.920 They just love it for the game of it.

00:24:58.160 It's like, it's a thing in Canada.

00:24:59.920 Let's go to Yuck Yucks.

00:25:00.880 You can get hammered and comics are nobody's.

00:25:03.820 Stop on stage.

00:25:04.360 The comics are nobody's. 0.99

00:25:05.480 You can yell at them and heckle them and they're just losers and they're not filming it. 0.96

00:25:09.940 It's like a complete joke. 1.00

00:25:11.200 It's a fucking complete joke. 0.99

00:25:13.220 But it's, I mean, it is, but it's genius and I love it. 0.99

00:25:19.880 But it allows comedians to have an audience.

00:25:22.800 Like you can audition for something and then you're headlining or opening or whatever.

00:25:27.160 And there's actually people there and you can just kill and then you can capture it on video.

00:25:31.700 And now you have this great video of you in an actual place.

00:25:33.980 so that's what I used it for

00:25:35.900 but after that

00:25:37.860 they said kind of I'm not ready yet

00:25:40.240 to do a door deal kind of thing

00:25:42.180 with me so I did it at this place

00:25:44.300 called Lula Lounge

00:25:45.940 in Toronto and they did

00:25:48.320 drag brunches 1.00

00:25:49.380 but they allowed me to do it

00:25:51.700 but I had some of my fans

00:25:54.100 at the time emailing them

00:25:55.640 emailing me

00:25:57.320 going you need to cancel your show here 1.00

00:25:59.860 because they do drag brunches you can't support 1.00

00:26:02.140 them, I'm like, if they do drag brunches 1.00

00:26:04.020 and have me, I don't give a shit. 1.00

00:26:06.320 Have everything. 0.98

00:26:08.180 Don't ban anything, really.

00:26:09.760 If it's bringing money into your business, do it.

00:26:12.800 And it's legal. 1.00

00:26:15.340 Drag brunches are legal. 1.00

00:26:17.240 I guess. 1.00

00:26:17.900 It's semi-legal.

00:26:19.780 These days.

00:26:21.080 Keep it indoors.

00:26:22.020 Call the police.

00:26:23.860 Probably illegal in PA.

00:26:27.140 Harrisburg.

00:26:27.920 Harrisburg. 0.99

00:26:29.240 Six jack Nazi guys go beat them. 0.95

00:26:32.140 so the show was like sold out 0.81

00:26:39.260 it was like my first like sold out like getting

00:26:41.180 a check for like what I actually

00:26:43.340 like my tickets and I think

00:26:45.120 I sold my own tickets through

00:26:47.140 Eventbrite and like I just got like it was cool

00:26:49.340 and

00:26:50.720 right away the venue was like we want

00:26:53.280 to do this again and I was like

00:26:55.100 well let's wait a bit because I just

00:26:56.840 in my mind I was like I just exhausted a lot of

00:26:59.220 people and I'm gonna

00:26:59.980 a lot maybe they're going to be the same people yeah like newer at selling tickets

00:27:04.060 and uh i waited like six eight months and then i emailed them back and i go hey i want to do it

00:27:10.280 now and then or maybe it was like four months and then they were like hey yeah we don't we

00:27:14.020 can't do it because like whatever the drag brunch people said they would stop doing it if they let

00:27:19.920 us do it again oh my gosh did they see your show no are they just i had one bit about it but i 0.98

00:27:25.920 literally said what i told you guys yeah who gives a shit yeah let him fucking do it as long 0.97

00:27:30.600 as i can say this so the drags kicked you out of there yeah they did the lula lounge and then it 0.99

00:27:37.140 was like a salsa lounge it was like a spanish salsa lounge and then so we moved it to some

00:27:42.800 this place called the royal comedy theater which i actually helped build in toronto and then the

00:27:49.220 guy and i lived with a guy who built it and i started selling out shows doing weekly shows

00:27:54.720 And then they started selling out like every week.

00:27:56.600 And I had like two weeks ahead sold out.

00:27:59.520 It was only like 80 people, 85 people.

00:28:01.580 But it was still sick.

00:28:02.600 For a weekly show, I could work out.

00:28:04.560 I could try stuff.

00:28:05.840 I had all my friends on.

00:28:07.180 I hosted it.

00:28:08.220 So it was like, or I forget.

00:28:09.560 Maybe I headlined it.

00:28:10.320 I forget.

00:28:10.760 But anyway, he shuts down the whole club.

00:28:15.140 As soon as I started selling it out, we spent all this time building it. 0.99

00:28:18.340 And bing, bing, bing on the wall and fucking wood. 0.98

00:28:22.340 wood and two by fours and paint and fucking i had found i found other comedians and people to help 0.99

00:28:30.120 that were better than me that this one girl sarah donelson that was really always cool with me that 1.00

00:28:35.580 was just a wild comedian and always worked she she was like a stage hand too and builds 1.00

00:28:40.480 sets for like movies so she was like boom boom knew everything how to do it and like we and then

00:28:46.640 he just and finally get the show selling out the weekends are starting to sell out there he was

00:28:51.580 having a bunch of comics

00:28:53.780 from the States,

00:28:54.540 Finance and all those people

00:28:56.100 from the Dark Comedy Festival.

00:28:58.220 And then he just,

00:28:59.160 one day he just goes,

00:28:59.940 yeah, I'm selling the club.

00:29:00.740 I hate it.

00:29:01.640 I'm like, dude,

00:29:02.760 we have two weeks.

00:29:03.780 He's like, no,

00:29:04.160 you got to refund everybody.

00:29:05.120 I can't do it.

00:29:05.620 I'm moving to Argentina.

00:29:07.000 I'm like, yeah. 0.99

00:29:08.800 He was just like a nutcase. 1.00

00:29:10.620 He was doing too much blow and shit 1.00

00:29:12.560 and he got crazy 0.99

00:29:13.620 and he just, 1.00

00:29:14.680 and then it was so fucking retarded. 0.99

00:29:17.980 And I was, 0.99

00:29:19.020 and like,

00:29:19.560 I'm pretty sure my wife

00:29:20.500 was like pregnant at the time so i was like pissed because i was like i would have had this

00:29:24.440 but anyway so then i told yucks and then they were like okay let's try it and then i sold out

00:29:29.400 immediately and just and they started doing really good things with me and deals and um 0.98

00:29:35.700 so that's your favorite that's why it's my favorite fucking place fuck yeah i can't say 0.97

00:29:40.440 the cool you know it's i performed at the belly room of the comedy store it's just cool there 0.99

00:29:45.020 like it's so cool

00:29:46.260 it just

00:29:47.200 the vibe there

00:29:48.040 is

00:29:48.300 it's just cool

00:29:49.040 I

00:29:49.560 Infinity Money

00:29:51.540 I'd live in LA

00:29:52.940 or New York

00:29:53.720 you know

00:29:54.120 but I feel like

00:29:55.040 Austin is a good place

00:29:56.200 to start out

00:29:56.820 because you can

00:29:57.560 you can have

00:29:58.280 a better lifestyle

00:29:59.060 you can't have

00:30:00.420 that lifestyle

00:30:00.980 it's like

00:30:01.500 quadruple the price

00:30:03.020 in any

00:30:03.540 major city

00:30:05.700 but I want

00:30:08.720 I don't know

00:30:09.600 I wish

00:30:10.900 I wish I could

00:30:12.080 experience LA

00:30:12.780 when it was at its best

00:30:13.540 but it's still

00:30:14.440 great yeah like people go oh it's not it's like yeah but like nowadays if you're smart like

00:30:22.240 you you get you you either get into a car or an uber and then you go to the place the restaurant

00:30:28.560 the and that's it yeah and you only go to places that are like actually legit and like have like

00:30:33.860 i mean i guess you go to like you the biggest chance you take is at noon when you go to a 0.76

00:30:39.280 fucking coffee shop really who knows what's gonna happen but you don't go anywhere anyway yeah you 0.93

00:30:47.460 guys do because you're in new york you walk around you live in manhattan yeah i'm in brooklyn yeah 1.00

00:30:52.140 yeah so you love it across from fucking manhattan though you love it i love you're deep you're deep 0.79

00:30:56.920 brooklyn yeah i'm deep deep in the boondocks but i mean i love new york you just have to it's this 0.96

00:31:02.100 like lifestyle where you kind of sacrifice like okay i'm never gonna own anything i'm never gonna

00:31:06.280 do yeah it's just like i'm just paying for a life experience like it's an expense to like

00:31:11.620 whereas i mean i think that you know i think he should quit his job and move to austin 0.90

00:31:18.340 pay him enough and do you go on tour and i mean that's it what else are you gonna fucking do 0.87

00:31:24.960 i mean you know answer but even you know like okay whatever your rent is yeah yeah that's a 0.95

00:31:34.260 fucking that's a mortgage payment on like a 0.99

00:31:36.160 4,000 square foot house in fucking 1.00

00:31:38.320 Texas or 1.00

00:31:40.040 and what is the purpose oh I

00:31:42.300 need to be in Manhattan because of

00:31:44.360 the open mic scene I mean it's bull

00:31:45.980 they're terrible

00:31:47.480 I mean what's the okay

00:31:50.080 SNL is that you know

00:31:52.160 I mean I could I mean I could

00:31:54.180 see you I could see you doing it I could

00:31:56.160 see you doing it I mean I'm

00:31:58.320 probably shot I don't think they would

00:32:00.220 I

00:32:00.660 You're like, I'm past my SNL prime.

00:32:05.020 No, I think I'd like to host it one day.

00:32:08.060 I think that's a dream.

00:32:09.460 I don't want to be, I don't think that they would choose me,

00:32:12.440 but I would audition or whatever too.

00:32:14.840 But my point is there's that, there's late night,

00:32:18.640 but if you actually start making money,

00:32:21.800 if you become following and then you have a following

00:32:25.840 and you're touring the country,

00:32:27.240 now everything's more expensive

00:32:28.320 because every flight's in and out of New York.

00:32:30.140 Yeah.

00:32:30.660 Your business is in New York

00:32:33.800 Your LLC is in New York

00:32:34.980 So now you got all these high corporate taxes 1.00

00:32:36.900 And the Muslim tax and the trans tax 1.00

00:32:39.020 And the fucking whatever tax 1.00

00:32:41.240 And the Jew tax and the Israel tax 1.00

00:32:43.280 That's just tax 0.98

00:32:43.960 Yeah that's just tax

00:32:45.960 Coin clipping tax

00:32:49.460 I'm just saying then you're like 0.99

00:32:52.880 Holy fuck and now why am I here 0.99

00:32:54.300 Because now I'm traveling so much 0.99

00:32:55.880 I don't even do show

00:32:57.680 I go to Austin I do

00:32:59.040 okay next week maybe i'll put in my name for wednesday or thursday but thursday i can't

00:33:04.720 so wednesday so i'll do a spot and every once a month i'll do the bottom of the barrel yeah 0.80

00:33:11.180 it's great but i mean even that it's like i could live in fucking the middle of nowhere and do 0.64

00:33:17.360 nothing and then just an hour from an airport is all i need yeah that's true and a cheap airport

00:33:22.540 that's why i was all fantasizing about vegas for a minute but then i was like i can't live there

00:33:27.020 i can't i looked at a i looked at a a rental there and it was too it was too weird there was um

00:33:34.780 it was big it was nice yeah it was it was really big it was like 7 500 square feet

00:33:41.380 no you don't want to bang for your buck but no base my current place has like a base like so

00:33:46.360 it's like if you don't one floor really nice pool in the backyard but no green yeah it's all just

00:33:54.740 rocks rocks and pool and fake grass and it was and it was in this weird gated community that was

00:34:01.600 like in a ghetto but then all of a sudden they just put a wall up and they're just like big homes

00:34:06.160 and it was just a circle it was just a circle the whole neighborhood you go in the gate it's just

00:34:10.860 one you drive around not a circle but like this kind of shape like a rectangle type thing oh god

00:34:16.720 that's like truman showy and it was very truman showy super truman and there was people like

00:34:21.340 looking at us like i don't know if you want to live here but there was some nice nice cars

00:34:24.600 nice houses the houses are like million dollar houses to a couple maybe a couple million dollars

00:34:29.380 i i don't want to i wouldn't buy it and i wouldn't i don't know if i could live and then we went to a

00:34:34.420 shopping what was the closest shopping strip mall strip mall just to see like what their grocery

00:34:40.340 store situation terrifying really i mean there was people just crashed on the parking lot

00:34:46.360 there's like a lot of like it's a lot of stuff going on there like there's a lot of i'm shocked

00:34:52.380 I don't think it was the nicest area

00:34:56.220 in Vegas I think there are better areas

00:34:58.180 and I would still be interested

00:35:00.380 to look there

00:35:01.000 that would be one place that I would go

00:35:03.380 I like it there a lot

00:35:05.560 but it's a lot

00:35:07.600 and every night you want to do

00:35:09.000 but I like that because my wife and I want to go out

00:35:12.220 we can't go out

00:35:14.180 I mean in Austin

00:35:15.980 what are we going to do go to 6th street 0.98

00:35:17.600 like we're fucking 17 and dance around 0.98

00:35:20.300 Jason Aldean 0.99

00:35:21.980 that didn't fall

00:35:23.040 did it

00:35:23.580 that was normal

00:35:24.720 it's not that fun

00:35:27.160 I mean it's

00:35:28.180 we can go to

00:35:29.580 dinner

00:35:30.640 there's a couple

00:35:31.580 nice restaurants

00:35:32.160 we've been to some

00:35:32.800 nice restaurants

00:35:33.420 but now I'm all 0.99

00:35:35.060 healthy and shit 0.98

00:35:36.140 and it's like 0.99

00:35:36.860 I don't even want to

00:35:37.760 I just

00:35:38.140 I'll eat at home

00:35:39.000 we'll go

00:35:39.320 we go to nice restaurants

00:35:41.060 but Austin's

00:35:42.680 not the healthiest

00:35:43.640 nice restaurants

00:35:44.400 it's kind of like 0.98

00:35:45.100 fucking 1.00

00:35:45.580 pork and shit 1.00

00:35:47.760 steak 0.99

00:35:48.860 and a lot of

00:35:49.600 you know

00:35:50.180 and barbecue

00:35:51.720 and it's great

00:35:53.680 and I love it

00:35:54.420 and I do now

00:35:55.500 love Austin

00:35:56.280 but I feel like

00:35:56.840 I'm trapped there

00:35:57.400 because I love it

00:35:58.260 it is quite

00:36:00.200 reasonable flights

00:36:01.860 in and out

00:36:02.440 compared to New York

00:36:04.340 or you know

00:36:05.260 flying out of JFK

00:36:06.080 every time

00:36:06.460 and the flights

00:36:07.420 are kind of shorter

00:36:08.140 because I'm going

00:36:08.820 you know

00:36:09.120 I'm going to

00:36:09.740 St. Louis

00:36:10.460 and all those

00:36:11.300 places it's quick

00:36:12.460 Denver's quick

00:36:14.220 LA's quicker than here

00:36:16.300 obviously way quicker

00:36:17.260 half the time

00:36:19.260 so 0.98

00:36:19.660 it's a real fucking thing where you if you're living in a big city and paying those big bucks 0.98

00:36:27.020 that those you know comedians want to start their career it's like i mean austin i think austin's 0.99

00:36:32.560 better you got the chance to go and kill tony there's no that's like that's like a casino

00:36:37.920 that's like a lottery every weekend you just pull that thing and you might get on and you if you 0.59

00:36:42.920 kill you might have a shot at something yeah that's the hope thing and you meet people and

00:36:47.960 And there's a lot. 0.72

00:36:49.520 I mean, how many celebrities,

00:36:50.740 do you guys see some celebs at some of the shows or what?

00:36:54.220 I mean, I see them on the street.

00:36:55.620 Because there's like, by the comedy cellar,

00:36:58.320 you'll bump shoulders with these people all the time.

00:37:00.760 But as far as like, you know, doing bar shows, no.

00:37:03.460 But if you're getting up at Greenwich Village

00:37:05.460 or New York Comedy Club or Comedy Cellar,

00:37:08.000 you'll be seeing these people a lot.

00:37:09.340 I saw Jim Norton walk by.

00:37:11.580 I was with you.

00:37:12.120 Yeah, and he was so nice to me.

00:37:13.800 He said to you, he was like,

00:37:14.660 dude, I fucking love what you're doing. 0.97

00:37:16.160 I think this was comedy. 0.99

00:37:16.340 That was crazy, right?

00:37:17.320 it was really cool

00:37:18.200 I was saying

00:37:18.860 that was nice

00:37:19.520 because he

00:37:20.180 I love him

00:37:21.240 because I was

00:37:22.160 because he commented

00:37:23.280 on my Renee Good bit

00:37:25.700 that was yeah

00:37:26.240 and he goes 0.98

00:37:26.980 this is fucking hilarious 0.98

00:37:28.120 this is the type of comedy 0.98

00:37:29.320 we need in these dark times

00:37:30.480 or something like that

00:37:31.200 and then a bunch

00:37:32.620 because it went so viral

00:37:33.600 a bunch of people

00:37:34.180 were like on him

00:37:35.120 being like 1.00

00:37:35.500 you're a fucking 1.00

00:37:36.160 watch the blues 1.00

00:37:37.080 everything 1.00

00:37:37.740 and fuck you 1.00

00:37:38.560 and like 1.00

00:37:39.020 you're not

00:37:39.820 because he was siding

00:37:41.660 with somebody

00:37:42.180 who's like

00:37:42.720 not politically correct

00:37:43.800 or something 0.99

00:37:44.200 so it was just bullshit 0.99

00:37:45.780 but that was cool 0.97

00:37:47.300 I haven't really met Colin Quinn, but I've seen him there around.

00:37:52.160 But again, I mean, Austin, Ray Romano dropped in. 0.98

00:37:56.460 That was fucking crazy. 0.98

00:37:58.060 Oh, that was cool. 1.00

00:37:58.480 That was insane.

00:37:59.560 Yeah.

00:37:59.980 And he just, he's so nice.

00:38:03.500 So chill.

00:38:04.020 But also, I just love learning from people about the nuance.

00:38:10.220 Yes.

00:38:10.660 Because the nuance, and I'm even getting better.

00:38:13.320 You know, these guys are in their almost 70s.

00:38:16.320 70s he's in 70s he's a professional nose show business he made it he's worth hundreds of

00:38:23.160 millions of dollars and he's just there and you know i talked to him he's just like he's like 0.90

00:38:27.540 but he i could he could tell that i was not just a fucking bum like he kind of could just tell 0.99

00:38:35.360 and then he went on and he just fucking murdered killed for like 10 minutes 15 minutes and then 0.99

00:38:43.540 he just got the light and he just wrapped it up and he was like thank you and he just left and 0.98

00:38:49.320 that was cool i mean i've seen i mean i've seen rogan there i've seen obviously i mean he's almost

00:38:56.140 every tuesday or whatever that they're there wednesday um tony and all that like there's a

00:39:01.800 lot more i mean shane matt mccuska i mean they're all there so it's much more saturated there

00:39:09.680 yeah but there's nothing

00:39:11.860 what you

00:39:12.300 what you guys need to learn is there's nothing else

00:39:15.780 to do

00:39:16.960 besides go to the gym

00:39:19.880 make content

00:39:21.040 and do the thing

00:39:23.060 and if you're not in

00:39:24.820 Austin

00:39:26.020 then you're not participating in the

00:39:29.740 Kill Tony thing

00:39:30.900 and then that's 0.99

00:39:32.540 it's like a

00:39:33.680 it's this hurricane that can catch you

00:39:37.220 and it can't

00:39:39.160 I mean, I did it, I was lucky enough and I'm really, you know, indebted in some way to

00:39:45.380 Tony and thankful for his show because I was, you know, when I visited here and then, you

00:39:51.860 know, did it and then people found out about, you know, and then I did it again and people

00:39:57.460 find out about you and it just word of mouth and then it helps.

00:40:01.320 Anything helps.

00:40:02.200 It's like a, it's like people say, get as many streams of income as you can.

00:40:07.060 get as many streams of people coming to your comedy as you can that's why i do the podcast

00:40:11.880 do i have to no we just i just sold out 1500 seats i don't need to do a podcast to sell out

00:40:17.800 the tickets apparently but maybe we do two two next year that's what i want to do i want to do

00:40:22.720 two 1500 seaters yeah they said they do two in a night here so really they've done that for the for

00:40:28.880 So there's many things you can get.

00:40:32.700 But Austin has that opportunity.

00:40:36.340 If I was, you know what I mean?

00:40:38.860 Every week you sign up.

00:40:40.280 You just roll the dice.

00:40:41.620 And if you're not, you meet people there.

00:40:44.060 Yeah, it's all wins.

00:40:46.940 It's not a bad thing to do.

00:40:48.480 New York is like everybody's very snooty and like, oh, wow.

00:40:53.040 There's a lot of egos for sure.

00:40:54.240 People are competing for things that there's nothing to compete.

00:40:57.920 they're competing to get a podcast on a network it's like bro all you have to do is buy a camera 0.99

00:41:04.080 and a fucking microphone you boom you have a podcast you know and i get it if you have a 0.97

00:41:09.180 network it helps you know i'd love a network to pick me up and then i you know my manager's been 1.00

00:41:14.040 talking about maybe you should do a different type of show where it's you and like there's a

00:41:18.560 like a producer with the screen and you you know like a news show not even like a late night but

00:41:23.580 more okay we do 10 topics and i go through every news article and like i wanted and i and i will

00:41:29.440 do that but i need that's that but a podcast we're doing it right now yeah could have been

00:41:35.220 losing thousands of dollars on the casino casino floor instead we're entertaining but a nice man

00:41:42.020 and a son i feel like that's that's what you need would be nice you know the people are nice it

00:41:47.940 really is nice to meet them and we had at the very end there was a really nice guy that was

00:41:52.420 um in walker oh yeah he waited the entire time how did he get the last in line i don't know how

00:42:00.920 the staff nobody just noticed that and goes hey you want to yeah he was standing there where guy

00:42:05.400 waited for 30 minutes 25 minutes in line and then comes up last and goes i like your disabled jokes

00:42:14.820 he's like you're more disabled and i was like that's awesome so that made me that made me feel

00:42:20.200 less bad 0.51

00:42:20.860 because I do that joke

00:42:22.860 I mean I won't

00:42:23.540 you know expose

00:42:24.200 but whatever

00:42:24.700 but I mean we're filming

00:42:25.720 the special next week

00:42:26.620 anyway so 0.97

00:42:27.160 I'm fucking done with it 0.96

00:42:30.400 I do want to 0.99

00:42:33.060 that's the type of joke

00:42:33.920 where I'm like

00:42:34.300 okay can we just film it

00:42:35.360 get it out there

00:42:35.900 I'm sick of doing it 0.99

00:42:37.020 every fucking 0.99

00:42:37.660 because it's like 0.99

00:42:38.800 I like it

00:42:39.740 it's a great joke

00:42:40.520 but eventually

00:42:41.920 I'm like okay

00:42:42.500 because then

00:42:43.860 something bad happens

00:42:45.500 and then I'm like

00:42:46.160 well I was doing that bit

00:42:47.640 you know what I mean 0.99

00:42:48.760 pretty fucked up 0.99

00:42:50.180 So it's time to just... 0.99

00:42:52.560 That one, I'm excited.

00:42:54.500 It's time for just, yeah, marker 0.99

00:42:56.400 and fucking rolling, rolling, rolling. 0.99

00:43:01.220 The crowd was great. 1.00

00:43:02.640 It was such a wide spectrum of people.

00:43:04.580 I didn't know what to expect, but it was just

00:43:06.660 they ran the whole gamut, that crowd.

00:43:08.640 There was younger people.

00:43:10.480 There was...

00:43:11.400 There was like teenagers there.

00:43:13.260 Yeah.

00:43:13.760 Or like 18-year-olds.

00:43:14.940 Yeah.

00:43:15.360 I don't know.

00:43:15.880 Nobody under 21 was allowed, technically.

00:43:18.520 Okay, then maybe they were 20-20.

00:43:19.440 Unless they just snuck in, but 21, yeah, he's like, Harrison, Harrison's like.

00:43:26.740 There were 16-year-olds there. 1.00

00:43:27.620 What the fuck are you saying, dude? 1.00

00:43:29.920 Oh, wow. 1.00

00:43:30.620 You don't look for that.

00:43:32.240 No, there were definitely some 16-year-olds.

00:43:36.220 All right, all right, whatever.

00:43:38.560 You know what?

00:43:39.220 Keep going.

00:43:40.600 No, there was some, like, 14-year-olds there.

00:43:44.500 Look, I don't know if they were leaving 12 for sure.

00:43:46.520 I saw 12.

00:43:47.100 yeah i i didn't but from that to like people knocking on death's door like it was like the

00:43:52.760 whole what i've noticed recently is like the people who sit up front are like the most like

00:43:57.300 there was a woman asleep i know there was one woman asleep is that am i speaking right one

00:44:03.540 woman was asleep in the front and i was like i just didn't mention it because i was like 0.97

00:44:08.800 fuck it but she was old she was very old she was very old she was just and i was like 0.99

00:44:14.980 Ted in the front, the whole show. 1.00

00:44:17.300 So there was a wide spectrum.

00:44:19.740 We had literal people who had been deceased for maybe 10 minutes in the crowd.

00:44:25.800 We had 16-year-olds that Harrison...

00:44:28.780 Harrison's talking to the camera guy in the back like,

00:44:30.960 can you focus in on me?

00:44:33.220 And we had everybody.

00:44:36.620 There were some Asians. 0.99

00:44:37.420 Apparently some Asians walked out, which upsets me because I want them to laugh.

00:44:41.280 I mean, the joke is really not that upsetting. 1.00

00:44:43.120 They like Tesla because the Tesla knows how to drive.

00:44:46.200 I mean, come on. 1.00

00:44:47.840 Give me a fucking break. 1.00

00:44:49.960 You could say so much worse. 0.99

00:44:51.580 Yeah, if you're getting offended at that, I mean, it's like, 0.95

00:44:54.480 I mean, it's like, what I thought, and then there was another Asian woman 0.98

00:45:01.940 who was like, I heard some Asian women walk down,

00:45:04.220 and she was like, yeah, I don't know. 1.00

00:45:05.200 They were in front of us.

00:45:06.600 And I was like, yeah.

00:45:08.640 So they probably weren't offended.

00:45:10.060 they were probably just worried it was going to be bad luck

00:45:12.060 for the gambling after

00:45:13.800 and then she just didn't laugh

00:45:15.560 and I was just like yeah whatever

00:45:16.900 the only agent that waited in line

00:45:19.520 and I made a weird joke 1.00

00:45:20.480 the first people in line was a black woman

00:45:23.400 and her Jewish husband 0.99

00:45:26.460 and then she didn't want to be in the picture

00:45:28.400 oh really?

00:45:30.740 but then she did

00:45:31.600 I was like what's your name 0.99

00:45:34.340 she's like Letitia

00:45:35.420 there's a picture of me with a 0.72

00:45:39.560 a Jewish guy

00:45:40.880 and his black wife

00:45:41.960 who's just 1.00

00:45:42.360 she just looks like this.

00:45:45.460 Imagine

00:45:45.900 you're going to love

00:45:47.600 this guy.

00:45:50.640 And she's like 1.00

00:45:51.500 what the fuck 1.00

00:45:52.300 did you take me to? 0.99

00:45:54.160 But it's

00:45:54.740 you know 1.00

00:45:55.080 there's women 1.00

00:45:57.200 who love it too 0.99

00:45:57.900 and they're

00:45:58.480 raucous fans

00:46:00.260 or whatever

00:46:00.980 the word is

00:46:01.740 but

00:46:01.980 so it's

00:46:03.660 everybody has a good time

00:46:04.860 really.

00:46:05.420 I mean a couple

00:46:05.840 people leave.

00:46:07.400 That's not

00:46:07.880 bad.

00:46:08.720 That's fun.

00:46:09.340 when somebody walks out of it

00:46:11.460 I've walked out of a comedy show 1.00

00:46:13.180 and then I went fuck I wish I did 0.99

00:46:16.100 but it's an emotional thing 1.00

00:46:17.860 where you just go fuck I just don't want to be in here anymore 1.00

00:46:19.940 and that's what you do 1.00

00:46:21.080 you get up and leave

00:46:22.180 you don't freak out, you don't scream, you don't yell

00:46:24.580 you're an adult, you go I don't like it

00:46:26.620 I've done it

00:46:27.740 it's like walking out of a movie kind of

00:46:29.880 like if it's not your vibe 0.92

00:46:31.540 you're Asian and then it gets to the Ching Chong Bing Bang part

00:46:34.640 and then everybody's like 1.00

00:46:35.580 somebody is shit out of the fucking head 1.00

00:46:37.920 And you're just like, oh, let's go back around. 1.00

00:46:42.440 It's a no-brainer.

00:46:46.480 Let's see our movie.

00:46:48.740 Who are we at?

00:46:49.840 Oh, we did good.

00:46:52.140 What should I do?

00:46:52.920 Should we do a...

00:46:54.520 Just run it and then...

00:46:56.240 Yeah?

00:46:57.300 Why don't I do the last 15 Patreon?

00:47:00.620 All right.

00:47:01.520 Smart.

00:47:02.300 So thank you for listening to the podcast.

00:47:05.900 The shows are amazing in Philadelphia.

00:47:07.920 check out Harrison Marks

00:47:10.760 check out Slater Harrison

00:47:12.400 I mean it's completely insane

00:47:15.140 but

00:47:16.540 but

00:47:20.580 that's been the free podcast

00:47:23.580 please support

00:47:25.040 Patreon

00:47:26.300 we're going to do 15

00:47:28.580 maybe we'll do 20 minutes

00:47:29.820 we don't know

00:47:30.920 we're having a good time actually

00:47:32.380 this is our first pod I think

00:47:35.020 we'll do one in Kansas City

00:47:36.940 That was a good one too

00:47:39.560 That was actually a really good one

00:47:41.120 That's our first one

00:47:42.160 No that one I think has the most views

00:47:45.820 On the YouTube channel

00:47:46.760 That one and the tracks one

00:47:49.900 So

00:47:50.420 Thank you and see you

00:47:53.820 Over on Patreon

Bankas Podcast - September 18, 2026

Parx Casino Sold Out After Show ｜ Bankas Podcast

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