How NOT To ＂Lose Yourself＂ In Motherhood!
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Summary
In this episode, I talk about 5 ways that you can be the best version of yourself as a mom. I know that there is a narrative that goes around that you lose yourself in motherhood, that you just aren t who you once were, and that you re just lost like you don t feel like you anymore. I actually found the opposite. I felt like I never felt like myself before becoming a mom, and I think a lot of women feel that way. But there are ways to feel good and not overwhelmed or stretched thin as a mother, and most of them come down to taking care of yourself and enjoying your day-to-day.
Transcript
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Today I want to talk about how to feel like the best version of you as a mom. If you are new to
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my channel here we talk about classic living and traditional values and I would love if you would
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consider subscribing and hitting that notification bell. Lately we've been really focusing on
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motherhood and homemaking because that's where my mind is at but I also talk about cultural
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commentary, dating, modesty, fashion, all those kinds of things. So make sure to subscribe so
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you can be notified of all of my new videos. But in today's video I want to talk about five ways
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that you can feel your best as a mom. I know that there's this kind of narrative that goes around
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that you really lose yourself in motherhood, that you just aren't who you once were and that you're
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just lost, like you don't feel like you anymore. I actually found the opposite. I felt like I found
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myself in motherhood and I think a lot of women feel that way and especially if you allow yourself
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to feel that way and not feel guilty about the changes that occur when you do become a mother
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and how your priorities shift, then you can embrace this new version of yourself and enjoy it. But there
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are ways to feel good and not overwhelmed or stretched thin as a mom and most of them come down to taking
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care of yourself and also just enjoying your day-to-day. So I want to share a few tips that I use to feel
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really good about me as a mom and also just ways that I can feel strong and healthy and true to
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myself. So I'm really excited to share these with you guys today. So let's just get right into it.
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The first way that you can be the best version of yourself as a mom is figure out what your style is
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right now, not the aspirational version of it. So I feel like this is really important because let's
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take me for an example. I love classic style. I love wearing feminine dresses and wearing heels
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and wearing things that are more structured and tailored. None of that works with being a mom.
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None of that works with the amount of flexibility I need to be able to run after my kiddo and pick
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him up and get dirty and play in the mud. Like I need to have clothes that I can easily wash and dry
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that I can bend over in without a problem that aren't going to be dry clean only and that are
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going to stretch. So what that means is I have had to really renegotiate what my style looks like
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during this stage of my life. It may be that when my children are grown and out of the house I return
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to the style that I once had but at this point I can't wear pieces that are super nice unless I'm
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going on a date night or something. And so the clothes that I wear day-to-day is going to look very
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different than what I would have worn before I had children. So figure out what your style looks like
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now. For me it's a lot of light flowy dresses especially now that I'm pregnant that kind of
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allow me to move freely and not flash people and comfortable shoes but shoes that I still like
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and for me style also includes my hair and my makeup. So those are things that I can have a nice
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hairstyle. I can have nice makeup on and that won't need to change because my son is running
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around or making a mess. So a lot of my focus has kind of moved towards my hair and makeup rather than
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my clothing but I've definitely changed the way that I dress. So for me it's comfort but also still
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fashion. I love the clothes that I wear. They're just not what I would have described my fashion sense
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as before. The same might be true for you. If you find that you really like to wear pencil skirts and
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then you're having a child and you can't bend over in a pencil skirt you may have to figure out what
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your style looks like now. So start actually reckoning with what you're wearing and then maybe go on
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Pinterest and look up different pictures of clothes that you think would work with your day-to-day with
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your lifestyle and that you also think are really cute. And just embrace where you're at with your
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life and your style. Number two is read a book, any book, and finish it. I find that if I can pick up
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one book and finish it I just feel really good about myself. Now I mostly listen to audiobooks because
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I find that finding the time to sit down and read and not have to do anything else is a lot more
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difficult than listening to a book while I'm driving or while I'm doing chores. But finishing
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books makes you feel like you've finished a project and that makes you feel really good about yourself.
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So find a book whether it be serious, funny, educational, or just fun and actually devote time
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to finishing it in whatever form whether that be reading it or listening to it. I think that giving
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yourself the opportunity to do something that is just for you and is just nice gives you a feeling
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of accomplishment that has nothing to do with anything else going on in your life. It's just
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like I did something nice for me and that can make you feel really good. So that's number two. Number
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three is choose a chore that you know you'll always be able to get done and just stay on top of that one
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chore. Now we have many chores as mothers of course but there are certain chores that if they don't get
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done the house can feel like a mess no matter how clean the rest of the house is. I think a very good
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example is dishes. If you let the dishes pile up in the sink you really can't navigate your kitchen
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very well and it makes you feel like your whole house is dirty even if it's just the dirty dishes. So
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maybe that's a chore that could work for you that you could stay on top of and you're like
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this is the chore that I know I'm always going to get done no matter what. I'm always going to have
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my dishes clean, put them in the dishwasher, and never keep a big dirty pile of dishes in my sink.
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That again gives you a sense of accomplishment in something that you know you'll always have
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completed and you can feel good about that. Again as mothers you don't want to feel overwhelmed
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and flustered all the time. So giving yourself accomplishable tasks, that's not a word, but tasks
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that you can actually accomplish. It's a very good way to feel more in control and that is one of the
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best ways to be the best version of yourself. When we feel out of control we start to kind of lose it
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I think mentally. We start to feel like oh my gosh everything is going crazy and we can't actually be
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the collected gathered people we need to be. But if we feel more in control and give ourselves goals
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that are actually possible then we can actually be better people because we don't feel crazy and
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crazed. So choose a chore whatever that chore is for you that feels like you can actually do it
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every day. So it might be making the bed, it might be washing the dishes, it might be vacuuming every
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night. But just find something that you feel confident you could do every day and actually do it.
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Number four is get physical activity every day. I find that if I don't move every single day,
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whether that be a short walk, whether that be going to the gym, whether that be doing a five
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minute yoga video, just doing something physically active with your body gets you back into your body
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and makes you feel more like yourself. And that's a really good feeling. I don't like the idea that we
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put our physical needs on the back burner when we become moms. I think it's really important that
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we do take care of ourselves physically not only because it is incredibly important for us to be
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physically capable to help our children and our families but also for our own health and mental
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health. I think it's so good to be in our bodies and understand our bodies and you know our bodies do
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need to move. That's important for how they function. So giving yourself an opportunity to have some sort of
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physical exercise every day and ideally being outside for five minutes every day at least is
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just really going to refresh you and remind you of who you are even in the context of motherhood.
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Last but not least is eat well and nourish your body. Now when I say that I don't just mean eat
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healthy. I mean make foods for you. Don't just stuff your face and run on to the next thing which is
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okay. During the first three months postpartum I feel like that's what you end up doing. You just eat
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whatever's available because you're just constantly being pulled in 20 different directions
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but what I think is really important is actually making it a priority to eat well. To eat things you
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like. To eat full meals. Not just to eat leftovers of your kids food from their tray. Like eat foods
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that are for you and that'll make you feel again more like yourself. If you're eating salads once a day
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or even if you're making yourself an iced coffee in the morning because it just feels nice for you.
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Like give yourself, dedicate to yourself time to eat and to nourish your body. It's important to do so.
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In the same way that exercise is important, food is important. And respect your body and yourself
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enough to dedicate those moments to yourself. So those are five ways I think you can feel like the
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best version of you as a mom. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments down below. Make sure
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to drop a comment there and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!