Classically Abby - How NOT To ＂Lose Yourself＂ In Motherhood!

In this episode, I talk about 5 ways that you can be the best version of yourself as a mom. I know that there is a narrative that goes around that you lose yourself in motherhood, that you just aren t who you once were, and that you re just lost like you don t feel like you anymore. I actually found the opposite. I felt like I never felt like myself before becoming a mom, and I think a lot of women feel that way. But there are ways to feel good and not overwhelmed or stretched thin as a mother, and most of them come down to taking care of yourself and enjoying your day-to-day.

00:00:00.000 Today I want to talk about how to feel like the best version of you as a mom. If you are new to

00:00:06.460 my channel here we talk about classic living and traditional values and I would love if you would

00:00:10.560 consider subscribing and hitting that notification bell. Lately we've been really focusing on

00:00:15.200 motherhood and homemaking because that's where my mind is at but I also talk about cultural

00:00:20.220 commentary, dating, modesty, fashion, all those kinds of things. So make sure to subscribe so

00:00:26.540 you can be notified of all of my new videos. But in today's video I want to talk about five ways

00:00:32.120 that you can feel your best as a mom. I know that there's this kind of narrative that goes around

00:00:38.000 that you really lose yourself in motherhood, that you just aren't who you once were and that you're

00:00:43.300 just lost, like you don't feel like you anymore. I actually found the opposite. I felt like I found

00:00:49.380 myself in motherhood and I think a lot of women feel that way and especially if you allow yourself

00:00:54.360 to feel that way and not feel guilty about the changes that occur when you do become a mother

00:01:00.060 and how your priorities shift, then you can embrace this new version of yourself and enjoy it. But there

00:01:07.340 are ways to feel good and not overwhelmed or stretched thin as a mom and most of them come down to taking

00:01:15.980 care of yourself and also just enjoying your day-to-day. So I want to share a few tips that I use to feel

00:01:23.500 really good about me as a mom and also just ways that I can feel strong and healthy and true to

00:01:30.880 myself. So I'm really excited to share these with you guys today. So let's just get right into it.

00:01:36.740 The first way that you can be the best version of yourself as a mom is figure out what your style is

00:01:41.920 right now, not the aspirational version of it. So I feel like this is really important because let's

00:01:48.160 take me for an example. I love classic style. I love wearing feminine dresses and wearing heels

00:01:55.240 and wearing things that are more structured and tailored. None of that works with being a mom.

00:02:02.560 None of that works with the amount of flexibility I need to be able to run after my kiddo and pick

00:02:08.380 him up and get dirty and play in the mud. Like I need to have clothes that I can easily wash and dry

00:02:14.580 that I can bend over in without a problem that aren't going to be dry clean only and that are

00:02:19.660 going to stretch. So what that means is I have had to really renegotiate what my style looks like

00:02:26.760 during this stage of my life. It may be that when my children are grown and out of the house I return

00:02:31.760 to the style that I once had but at this point I can't wear pieces that are super nice unless I'm

00:02:36.580 going on a date night or something. And so the clothes that I wear day-to-day is going to look very

00:02:40.400 different than what I would have worn before I had children. So figure out what your style looks like

00:02:45.880 now. For me it's a lot of light flowy dresses especially now that I'm pregnant that kind of

00:02:53.680 allow me to move freely and not flash people and comfortable shoes but shoes that I still like

00:03:01.020 and for me style also includes my hair and my makeup. So those are things that I can have a nice

00:03:07.580 hairstyle. I can have nice makeup on and that won't need to change because my son is running

00:03:13.780 around or making a mess. So a lot of my focus has kind of moved towards my hair and makeup rather than

00:03:20.060 my clothing but I've definitely changed the way that I dress. So for me it's comfort but also still

00:03:25.880 fashion. I love the clothes that I wear. They're just not what I would have described my fashion sense

00:03:32.040 as before. The same might be true for you. If you find that you really like to wear pencil skirts and

00:03:37.780 then you're having a child and you can't bend over in a pencil skirt you may have to figure out what 0.64

00:03:42.780 your style looks like now. So start actually reckoning with what you're wearing and then maybe go on

00:03:49.320 Pinterest and look up different pictures of clothes that you think would work with your day-to-day with

00:03:55.540 your lifestyle and that you also think are really cute. And just embrace where you're at with your

00:04:01.660 life and your style. Number two is read a book, any book, and finish it. I find that if I can pick up

00:04:08.020 one book and finish it I just feel really good about myself. Now I mostly listen to audiobooks because

00:04:13.960 I find that finding the time to sit down and read and not have to do anything else is a lot more

00:04:20.060 difficult than listening to a book while I'm driving or while I'm doing chores. But finishing

00:04:25.960 books makes you feel like you've finished a project and that makes you feel really good about yourself.

00:04:30.880 So find a book whether it be serious, funny, educational, or just fun and actually devote time

00:04:39.180 to finishing it in whatever form whether that be reading it or listening to it. I think that giving

00:04:44.340 yourself the opportunity to do something that is just for you and is just nice gives you a feeling

00:04:53.200 of accomplishment that has nothing to do with anything else going on in your life. It's just

00:04:57.440 like I did something nice for me and that can make you feel really good. So that's number two. Number

00:05:02.780 three is choose a chore that you know you'll always be able to get done and just stay on top of that one

00:05:09.120 chore. Now we have many chores as mothers of course but there are certain chores that if they don't get

00:05:15.260 done the house can feel like a mess no matter how clean the rest of the house is. I think a very good

00:05:21.940 example is dishes. If you let the dishes pile up in the sink you really can't navigate your kitchen

00:05:27.640 very well and it makes you feel like your whole house is dirty even if it's just the dirty dishes. So

00:05:34.360 maybe that's a chore that could work for you that you could stay on top of and you're like

00:05:38.880 this is the chore that I know I'm always going to get done no matter what. I'm always going to have

00:05:43.620 my dishes clean, put them in the dishwasher, and never keep a big dirty pile of dishes in my sink.

00:05:50.240 That again gives you a sense of accomplishment in something that you know you'll always have

00:05:56.720 completed and you can feel good about that. Again as mothers you don't want to feel overwhelmed

00:06:00.680 and flustered all the time. So giving yourself accomplishable tasks, that's not a word, but tasks

00:06:06.440 that you can actually accomplish. It's a very good way to feel more in control and that is one of the

00:06:12.620 best ways to be the best version of yourself. When we feel out of control we start to kind of lose it

00:06:17.500 I think mentally. We start to feel like oh my gosh everything is going crazy and we can't actually be

00:06:23.240 the collected gathered people we need to be. But if we feel more in control and give ourselves goals

00:06:28.660 that are actually possible then we can actually be better people because we don't feel crazy and

00:06:35.440 crazed. So choose a chore whatever that chore is for you that feels like you can actually do it

00:06:40.320 every day. So it might be making the bed, it might be washing the dishes, it might be vacuuming every

00:06:45.900 night. But just find something that you feel confident you could do every day and actually do it.

00:06:51.600 Number four is get physical activity every day. I find that if I don't move every single day,

00:06:58.700 whether that be a short walk, whether that be going to the gym, whether that be doing a five

00:07:03.980 minute yoga video, just doing something physically active with your body gets you back into your body

00:07:09.500 and makes you feel more like yourself. And that's a really good feeling. I don't like the idea that we

00:07:15.660 put our physical needs on the back burner when we become moms. I think it's really important that

00:07:22.200 we do take care of ourselves physically not only because it is incredibly important for us to be

00:07:27.740 physically capable to help our children and our families but also for our own health and mental

00:07:32.800 health. I think it's so good to be in our bodies and understand our bodies and you know our bodies do

00:07:38.840 need to move. That's important for how they function. So giving yourself an opportunity to have some sort of

00:07:44.080 physical exercise every day and ideally being outside for five minutes every day at least is

00:07:49.640 just really going to refresh you and remind you of who you are even in the context of motherhood.

00:07:55.500 Last but not least is eat well and nourish your body. Now when I say that I don't just mean eat

00:08:00.320 healthy. I mean make foods for you. Don't just stuff your face and run on to the next thing which is

00:08:07.200 okay. During the first three months postpartum I feel like that's what you end up doing. You just eat

00:08:11.260 whatever's available because you're just constantly being pulled in 20 different directions

00:08:14.580 but what I think is really important is actually making it a priority to eat well. To eat things you

00:08:22.320 like. To eat full meals. Not just to eat leftovers of your kids food from their tray. Like eat foods

00:08:28.880 that are for you and that'll make you feel again more like yourself. If you're eating salads once a day

00:08:35.660 or even if you're making yourself an iced coffee in the morning because it just feels nice for you.

00:08:40.720 Like give yourself, dedicate to yourself time to eat and to nourish your body. It's important to do so.

00:08:48.560 In the same way that exercise is important, food is important. And respect your body and yourself

00:08:54.100 enough to dedicate those moments to yourself. So those are five ways I think you can feel like the

00:09:00.760 best version of you as a mom. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments down below. Make sure

00:09:05.560 to drop a comment there and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!

Classically Abby - November 30, 2023

How NOT To ＂Lose Yourself＂ In Motherhood!

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