Classically Abby - MODESTY Q&A - Answering YOUR Questions! - Part 1 ｜｜ Modesty at the beach？ How short is too short？

00:00:00.000 Hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be doing a modesty Q&A. 1.00

00:00:08.100 So I asked you guys on Instagram to send in your modesty questions and I have a whole list of them

00:00:13.760 right here printed out and there are quite a few so I'm going to do my best to get to as many of

00:00:18.880 them as I can but we can always do a part two to this video and this is clearly a topic that a lot

00:00:24.280 of people have questions about. So I'm really excited to start chatting about this today.

00:00:27.640 I'm really excited to just have a space on my channel where we can talk about modesty because

00:00:32.380 I think that a lot of women feel uncomfortable talking about modesty because it feels like 0.76

00:00:35.960 oh it's oppressive when in my opinion it's not oppressive at all. So I'd really like to

00:00:40.640 talk about all of that and I want to preface this video with a few things. The first thing I want

00:00:45.580 to do is clarify what I mean when I speak about modesty. So on my channel I'm kind of talking

00:00:51.160 about the base level of modesty. I'm not talking about certain religious rules when it comes to

00:00:55.900 being modest. I'm just talking about the things that are just kind of like ground rules for

00:01:00.280 modesty. Ways to cover up very obviously sexual parts of the body. That's usually going to mean

00:01:05.140 covering up cleavage. It's going to mean shorts that cover your bottom. I'm not specifically talking

00:01:10.060 about wearing shirts that cover your shoulders or skirts that cover the knee or anything like that.

00:01:14.900 And the reason that I'm being a little bit less strict about modesty on my channel is for two

00:01:18.600 reasons. One is that I don't want to alienate anybody who is doing their best to be modest but maybe

00:01:24.040 hasn't decided that they want to go all the way to covering up their arms or wearing really long

00:01:28.820 skirts or whatever it is. I want people to feel like you're doing a great job even if you've just

00:01:33.360 decided that you're not going to wear something that's low cut or wear a really really short skirt.

00:01:37.320 That for me is a great place to start and it may be where you end up and that is totally fine.

00:01:42.340 But just starting there and having some certain ground rules about modesty to me is going to start

00:01:47.220 a conversation that is much more useful than just immediately going from okay this is what

00:01:53.180 the average woman might wear in 2020 to okay cover everything up. It just might be too hard of a 1.00

00:01:58.400 transition. So that's number one. And number two is that I want it to be attainable. If you are somebody

00:02:03.520 who isn't used to dressing modestly there are just a couple of things you can start off by doing that

00:02:07.920 will make your closet and your clothing a little bit more modest and it doesn't have to be this huge

00:02:12.800 enormous overhaul to what you're already wearing. Instead you can take small baby steps to become a

00:02:18.580 little bit more modest and if you decide you want to become even more modest over time do it. That's

00:02:23.120 great. I just want to make it a little bit more attainable for those people who are not used to

00:02:27.400 being modest and may want to become more modest over time. The next thing I want to address before

00:02:32.180 we get into the questions is why modesty is important and there's a lot of different reasons for

00:02:36.460 that. I've done a few videos on it so I'm not going to get super into it here. We want to be

00:02:40.620 modest for ourselves and that's for two reasons. One is that you want to treat your body with respect

00:02:45.700 and you don't want people to constantly be looking at your body before knowing who you are and your

00:02:50.300 personality because putting your body out first is going to act as a distraction from who you are

00:02:55.900 and from your personality because your body is the first thing that you're sharing with someone as

00:03:00.200 opposed to wearing something that's attractive and that accentuates your best features but isn't

00:03:03.660 putting your whole body out there on display. And then the other part of dressing modestly is that if

00:03:08.720 you want a certain kind of man and you're looking for a long-term relationship dressing in a certain

00:03:14.100 way may give men the wrong idea for what you are actually wanting to do and if you are dressed in a

00:03:19.420 way that is showing off a lot of skin then men may think that you're more interested in a short-term

00:03:25.400 relationship kind of thing than something that's more long-term because they're going to view you

00:03:30.480 more sexually than they are going to view you as a woman that they would want to date. So that's just a

00:03:36.240 couple of reasons that modesty is important. There are many many more but I did just want to touch on

00:03:40.980 that quickly before getting into the rest of this video. So let's get into it. So the first question

00:03:45.300 we've got here is what are your thoughts on modesty at the beach? And I have gotten so many questions

00:03:50.440 like this because I think that dressing modestly at the beach is really hard. We are living in a time

00:03:54.900 where people are basically wearing underwear to the beach so it is difficult to kind of understand and

00:03:59.680 figure out what would be modest. So for me because we are talking kind of basic level of modesty I would

00:04:07.000 say that there are a few different ways to be modest at the beach but I would definitely say that

00:04:10.840 wearing a string bikini isn't one of them. Wearing a string bikini or wearing a thong that kind of

00:04:17.100 stuff to me shows too much skin. Wearing a string bikini may attract attention that you don't want

00:04:21.620 as well as it's just not really respecting your body in a way that you're kind of putting everything

00:04:26.740 out there. So when I'm talking about modesty at the beach what I generally recommend is wearing a

00:04:31.560 one-piece. I think that one-pieces do cover up more of the body than just a two-piece. Of course I'm not

00:04:38.100 talking about a mono-kini or something that is basically a two-piece but has like mesh over it

00:04:43.280 but I'm talking about like a real one-piece. Another good option is wearing a high-waisted bikini with

00:04:48.180 kind of like a sports bra top. That to me is more modest than a string bikini because you are covering

00:04:52.780 more skin. Things are a little bit more tucked away. It's not like you're putting everything out

00:04:57.280 on display. Wearing a more full coverage bottom rather than a thong where you're kind of just

00:05:02.520 putting your entire butt out for everyone to see is something I would consider immodest so wearing a

00:05:07.840 more full coverage bottom is more modest to me. And wearing rash guards is a really good option not

00:05:13.300 only because it's more modest but because it is better for your skin. It protects you from sunburns.

00:05:18.460 Do I always wear a rash guard? No. But I do kind of switch off in between. I have a few bathing suits

00:05:24.380 that are rash guards and I do like those on days where it's really hot really sunny because I don't

00:05:29.220 have to worry about getting that really horrible sunburn on your shoulders. So I like the idea of that

00:05:35.280 too. Now if you want to be more modest than that you can wear swim shorts. I think that that's really nice

00:05:40.500 or a swim skirt but it's not to me necessary. It's more up to you. If you're more comfortable covering up

00:05:47.240 that makes sense to me. But those are the rules that I follow when it comes to modesty at the beach

00:05:51.500 because you're not showing off your boobs. You're not showing off too much but it's more about

00:05:55.860 wearing something that's comfortable that you can play at the beach and not worry that things are

00:05:59.660 going to fall out and it also just makes you a little bit more covered up when you are wearing

00:06:03.980 a high-waisted bikini or a one-piece. Number two is how to dress modestly as a teenager. So I totally

00:06:09.920 understand this question because dressing as a teenager is slightly different than dressing as an adult

00:06:13.840 woman. You are going to be wearing probably more casual clothing, things that just you can hang out

00:06:19.420 in, not so much business wear. It's just more things that you can hang out in and have fun. So I understand

00:06:24.320 why that's difficult especially now because I look at teenagers in 2020 and they're wearing less clothing

00:06:30.900 than I think ever before and it's confusing and it would be difficult to kind of navigate that as a

00:06:37.300 modest teenager. So what I would recommend is wearing a lot of dresses. I think that'll make things

00:06:41.600 easier. They can be casual but wearing a t-shirt dress that comes a little bit longer than your

00:06:45.160 fingertips will be easy for you and it won't draw attention to the fact that you're being modest.

00:06:49.600 It'll just kind of be cute and comfortable but also is more on the modest side. And then wearing

00:06:55.180 t-shirts is a really easy way to get around the modesty question because t-shirts are basically modest

00:06:59.460 without trying and wearing just fun jeans or a little bit of a longer short, maybe some cut-offs,

00:07:05.200 is another way that you can dress a little bit more on the modest side. But you can generally still find

00:07:09.820 things that are still kind of fun and fashionable for your teen years that are modest. I definitely

00:07:15.420 did that. I lived that. So there is a way for you to do it and for you to still feel like you're

00:07:20.280 fashionable and you can still have fun in what you're wearing. Next up we've got the question

00:07:24.420 which retailers are the easiest to shop for modest clothes and which ones are the hardest? So I did get

00:07:29.880 a lot of questions similar to this so maybe this will answer some of them. What I'll say about shopping

00:07:34.280 for clothing is that I don't have specific stores that I shop at because they sell a lot of modest

00:07:40.480 clothing. I just find that a lot of stores have a lot of different options and there may be mostly

00:07:45.100 immodest clothing but you'll always find those hidden gems at those stores. But an easy one is

00:07:50.680 mod cloth. I always really liked mod cloth because a lot of their clothing is more classic, is more

00:07:55.640 feminine, and does have that modest twist which makes things easier. Is it a little bit pricey?

00:08:00.740 Yes, so I don't really shop there as much anymore, but they do have a lot of really beautiful dresses,

00:08:06.440 a lot of beautiful skirts that do go with a more modest aesthetic. And then as well I find that H&M

00:08:12.160 has a lot of really pretty skirts that are a bit longer so I do appreciate that H&M does that

00:08:16.960 and they're more on the affordable side so I do find that they have a lot of nice clothing.

00:08:21.880 I also shop at TJ Maxx. TJ Maxx has a lot of dresses depending on the season and those dresses can look

00:08:27.220 great and be very modest. And then even Forever 21 sometimes has dresses that are on the longer

00:08:32.560 side. They'll say that they're middies or whatever but they are actually pretty modest, especially if

00:08:37.440 you wear like a top underneath or you wear a jacket over, something like that. Forever 21 can have some

00:08:43.460 good options. But Forever 21 is also probably one of the more difficult ones because a lot of their

00:08:48.600 clothing is just really far afield, very difficult to find anything that actually looks modest.

00:08:54.160 Target also has some really great options when it comes to longer dresses and some cute pants and 0.78

00:09:00.740 tops and things like that. But the thing for me is that I don't really look at any retailers as oh my

00:09:05.320 gosh it's impossible to find anything modest there because if you look through the racks you'll

00:09:09.360 generally find a skirt or a pair of pants or a top that does fit your modesty standards. So I'm pretty

00:09:15.360 flexible when it comes to shopping. I just like to pop my head into different places and see what they

00:09:19.340 have that might work. But the stores that I mentioned also have a pretty good selection.

00:09:22.840 Number four is what are some ways to practice modesty that don't have to do with clothing?

00:09:27.280 I really like this question because modesty isn't just about clothing. It's about who you are and how

00:09:32.980 you behave. And I like that people are trying to think outside the box of just what clothing

00:09:37.500 you should wear. So that's a really good way to put it. The thing for me with modesty is mostly about

00:09:43.300 not taking for granted the things that you have. I think a lot of being modest comes down to being

00:09:48.340 grateful that you have what you have and being grateful to God for helping you be where you are

00:09:54.120 today. Because we can work hard and we can affect change but without God we wouldn't be anywhere. So

00:10:00.660 having that feeling of being grateful and recognizing where everything that you have comes from

00:10:06.820 I think keeps us modest and keeps us grounded. I also think that modesty comes into play when you're

00:10:12.920 hanging out with people of the opposite gender. If you hang out with a guy in private alone in his 0.99

00:10:18.560 room I think that can very quickly go from what was just a friendly hangout session to something that

00:10:24.920 is more immodest. So being smart about those situations is going to protect you and also keep

00:10:32.020 you being a modest young woman. And then of course modesty has to do with humility. So being humble about

00:10:38.560 what you've accomplished, not to say that you can't be confident, but also recognizing that you're not

00:10:43.720 better than anybody else, that to me is a good practice of modesty. I'm not a huge proponent of

00:10:48.820 modesty being about not being a loud person. I think that if you're loud and that's in your personality

00:10:54.260 I have no issue with that. It's more about being a good person and being humble and being grateful.

00:11:00.920 Next up is how do you dress modestly but not look dowdy? So I actually did a whole video on this

00:11:06.080 basically saying that dressing modestly doesn't have to mean looking frumpy. I am personally not a

00:11:10.580 proponent of that at all. I think you can absolutely dress modestly and look attractive.

00:11:15.580 And I think what it comes down to is wearing things that fit you and balancing volume. If you're wearing

00:11:20.860 too much volume on top and on bottom you are going to look frumpy, you're going to look dowdy.

00:11:26.240 But if you're wearing a top that's a little bit more fitted and a bottom that is a little bit more

00:11:30.340 flowy, that's going to look so good. It's going to look perfect on you. And if you wear something

00:11:35.300 that's a little bit more blousey on top but a more fitted pant, that also works really well. 0.99

00:11:40.560 So I'll link that video up in the eye because I think it's really important to know that you don't

00:11:45.980 have to look frumpy just because you are dressing more modestly. Dressing modestly doesn't mean

00:11:51.300 dressing unattractively. It just means not showing that much skin and drawing attention to your cleavage

00:11:57.480 for example first before you and your smile and your personality. Number six is what are your

00:12:03.460 thoughts on hair covering after marriage? So this is a reference to a Jewish law that says that after

00:12:08.280 a woman gets married she covers her hair because that's a part of her nakedness. It's a part of her 1.00

00:12:13.160 that she shares only with her husband and she doesn't share with other people. It's something

00:12:17.200 that's just for him. So I obviously don't cover my hair on a regular basis but I have a lot of friends

00:12:22.860 and family who do so I'm not against it at all. For me I don't know that I'll ever be comfortable

00:12:27.820 with that. My mother never covered her hair so that's not something I really am used to and it's

00:12:32.980 not something I think I'll ever do regularly. Whenever I go to synagogue though or whenever

00:12:37.060 I'm in a religious setting I do try and cover my hair because I think it's respectful of the people

00:12:41.940 around me who are covering their hair, who are married, and who think that that's an important

00:12:47.100 part of being religious. So I don't see that happening for me in my everyday life but if I'm ever in a

00:12:51.780 religious Jewish situation I definitely adhere to those laws. Number seven is how short is too short 1.00

00:12:57.580 when wearing shorts. Short, short, shorts. For me the thing that makes a short too short is if I can

00:13:03.460 see the under part of your butt cheek. That to me is too short but if you are wearing shorts that are

00:13:08.780 even a little bit longer than that and are covering more of your bottom that to me is more on the modest

00:13:14.940 side. Do I try and wear longer shorts? I am currently trying to transition over to that. The majority of my

00:13:20.940 shorts are a little bit shorter than a Bermuda short but I think I want to start transitioning

00:13:25.620 over to wearing more Bermuda shorts but I don't think either one is immodest. It really is just

00:13:30.540 your preference as long as your bottom is covered. What are your husband's thoughts on your way of

00:13:36.060 dressing? By the way, love your sense of fashion. Thank you. My husband really likes when I wear modest

00:13:42.260 clothing. It actually means a lot to him when I do. To him it's a sign of respect that I'm not trying to

00:13:48.160 attract people that aren't him. I like to look nice and I can look pretty but it's not oh I'm putting

00:13:54.940 out a sexual message to men who are not my husband and he really appreciates that. Does he force it on

00:14:00.720 me? No. This is my decision but it's something that he loves that I do. The next one is any tips on

00:14:06.500 finding modest fashion that isn't out of date or looks like it comes from 2012? I don't personally find

00:14:12.340 this to be a big issue because I think in 2020 we actually have a lot of different fashion senses and

00:14:17.780 styles that fit into that modest fashion. So there's the boho style which is a lot of long

00:14:23.340 dresses and if you're into that then it's modest and it's a different aesthetic or if you want to

00:14:27.980 dress a little bit more 50s there are a lot of midi skirts that are cut just below the knee that are

00:14:32.200 very very modest. There are just a lot of ways to embrace modesty without having to go back to

00:14:37.540 looking like you're in 2012 with like a big infinity scarf. Not that I'm opposed to them but basically

00:14:43.480 the tips that I would give are figure out what kind of style you like, what kind of era you're

00:14:47.880 inspired by. For me it's probably the 40s and the 50s. I really like that aesthetic and then find

00:14:52.960 clothing that's cut similarly but that still is very modern. So this little jumpsuit that I'm wearing

00:14:58.120 is probably more 50s era and I really like the way it looks but the way that it's cut is still very

00:15:04.380 modern and makes me feel very modern plus you can accessorize it in ways that are very modern.

00:15:09.680 And looking up looks online that inspire you but that may not be totally modest you can kind of

00:15:14.580 look at it and do a twist on that look to make it more modest. So if somebody's wearing a cute blouse 0.99

00:15:19.960 with very short shorts maybe just getting a longer short with a blousy top might end up working better

00:15:25.460 for you and you would like that look or whatever it is that works for you. So finding modern looks

00:15:31.240 and then kind of tweaking them to look a little bit more modest is a good place to start. The next one

00:15:36.340 is what are your thoughts on off the shoulder tops? As I said I'm really just talking about the

00:15:40.300 basic ground rules of modesty so I have no issue with off the shoulder tops. It's whatever you're

00:15:44.500 comfortable with when it comes to that. The next one is tips for girls who are new to modesty. I am

00:15:49.160 excited about this question because I think there's a lot of really good places to start if you want

00:15:53.480 to become more modest and you want to take it slow which I think is a smart idea. You don't want to

00:15:57.920 just rush headlong into dressing a different way because you may not end up loving it and it's best to dip

00:16:03.200 your toe in and then maybe follow it up. But the first thing I would recommend is get a nude cami.

00:16:08.600 So I'm wearing one under my jumpsuit just because this v-neck theoretically could drop a little bit

00:16:13.560 lower than I'm comfortable with and it's such a good security blanket for me that I'm not going to

00:16:17.680 be showing off cleavage. It's just an easy way for me to be modest without having to think about it.

00:16:23.220 So if you have a lot of tops that you like that are more of a v-neck getting a nude cami to wear

00:16:28.200 underneath is something that's going to not draw attention away from your top but it will prevent you

00:16:33.000 from showing cleavage. So it's kind of like that perfect middle ground where you're not showing

00:16:37.160 off your cleavage but you're also not distracting from your own fashion. So that's number one. The

00:16:41.480 next thing I would do is get some dresses and skirts that you really love and have them be a 0.97

00:16:45.660 little bit longer at least as long as your fingertips if not a little bit longer because wearing a

00:16:50.460 skirt is so pretty and so feminine and takes away that desire to wear really short shorts because

00:16:56.240 they're very breezy. They're not going to make you overheat. So I think that those two things,

00:17:00.440 starting off by getting some camisoles, nude or other colors, and then also getting some dresses

00:17:05.460 and skirts is a really good place to start. Another thing to do that I recommend is getting 1.00

00:17:10.320 some tunics to wear over leggings. If you're a leggings kind of a person and you like to wear

00:17:14.880 them quite a bit, I'm not a fan of wearing leggings outside of the gym without something on to cover your

00:17:20.540 bottom. So wearing a long sweater or a tunic is a really good way to continue to wear leggings but

00:17:26.220 also be modest. There are so many more questions here that I wish I could get to but I have been

00:17:31.800 sitting in front of the camera for over an hour so I'm gonna have to call it quits now but maybe

00:17:37.880 we'll do a part two to this video. Let me know in the comments if that's something you'd be interested

00:17:41.520 in. Hey guys, this is Editing Abby here. As I was editing today's video, I realized that I had

00:17:46.880 way too much to say for one video so I'm actually going to do a part two anyways and I'm hopefully

00:17:52.480 going to post that this week so even though I'm asking if you guys want a part two, you're getting

00:17:57.760 a part two anyways. So I guess the question is do you want a part three and a part four? Also let

00:18:02.580 me know in the comments if you have any other questions that I didn't get to in this video or if you

00:18:06.780 agree or disagree with my answers. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you guys so much for

00:18:11.180 watching today's video. Please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already. Head over to

00:18:15.920 my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and follow me there. Hit that notification bell to get notified of all

00:18:20.440 my new videos. Hit that like button. Please head over to classicallyabbey.locals.com if you'd like

00:18:25.160 to support my channel, see more of this content, and be part of our community, and I'll see you guys

00:18:29.080 in my next video. Bye!

Classically Abby - August 10, 2020

MODESTY Q&A - Answering YOUR Questions! - Part 1 ｜｜ Modesty at the beach？ How short is too short？

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