Classically Abby - The Big LIE I Realized About Women And Careers

00:00:00.000 hello classic crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about

00:00:04.960 why we feel like we need to find our purpose through our careers

00:00:15.200 so if you are new to my channel here we talk about traditional values and classic living and

00:00:20.880 i've started a series on my channel where i just kind of share my thoughts on things that i've been

00:00:26.240 pondering lately and things that have been bothering me or things that have been affecting me

00:00:32.560 and i want to talk about them openly and honestly with you guys and just start a conversation so i'm

00:00:38.720 not even really here to change minds that's really not the point of this i'm not trying to get anyone

00:00:44.400 to agree with me i just want to start a conversation and be able to do that in this space and that's

00:00:50.240 something i do love about the classically abby community is that we can all chat about these

00:00:55.600 things even though in a lot of different spaces on the internet you might not be able to chat about

00:00:59.760 them openly here we can so today i want to focus on the careerification of purpose my husband actually

00:01:07.920 came up with that phrase because we were chatting about this together so if you aren't already

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00:01:21.520 make sure you head over there it's classicallyabby.substack.com and you'll get access to a ton

00:01:26.560 of exclusive content including my book club and my exclusive podcast now let's get into today's video

00:01:33.600 so something i've been thinking a lot about lately is this idea that we need to find our purpose we feel

00:01:40.960 like we need to find our purpose in a big way that a lot of us feel like we have this mission that can

00:01:49.760 only be accomplished if we're quote unquote changing the world and a lot of that also means that you

00:01:56.240 have to go outside of your home have a big career do something really important in order to show that

00:02:03.360 you have meaning and fulfill your purpose and i think that this is a mistake this is something i've been

00:02:11.520 grappling with myself this journey of motherhood this journey of you know becoming somebody who loves

00:02:18.560 being at home and loves being part of my community the faith family community aspect of kind of what i

00:02:26.000 talk about on my channel all the time you know i i grew up thinking that i needed to make a difference

00:02:35.120 now that in and of itself isn't a bad thing the idea of making a difference in the world but what does

00:02:45.040 make a difference really mean i think that there's this misperception and one that i definitely had

00:02:50.560 i 100 had it that i needed to make a difference by changing the world in a big way and so my purpose

00:03:00.160 needed to be something big and huge and outside of my home outside of my family outside of my community

00:03:09.600 i needed to do something big huge even in order to make a mark on the world and that would be

00:03:16.960 my purpose that would be me finding meaning and finding my mission it puts a lot of pressure on us

00:03:24.400 to do something that takes so much and so few of us can accomplish and the big problem with this kind

00:03:33.360 of thinking is that every person does make a difference but it might not be a public facing

00:03:42.720 difference it might not be something that's huge and that everyone sees it might be just the difference

00:03:48.720 of you being a good family member a good community member i have really discovered this idea that

00:03:55.440 i want to find my purpose and my mission in a small way and that means at home and in my community

00:04:08.560 you know what i do on my channel i love it and i do love that i feel like i'm making a difference

00:04:15.280 but if that were my only goal i would be neglecting the things that make my channel what it is which is

00:04:22.240 my faith my family and my values if i were to focus all of my energy on the mission of my channel

00:04:32.640 and ignore the mission that might seem small but is actually much grander like what would it what would

00:04:41.840 my channel even be about you know i'd be making a difference when i can't even practice it at home for

00:04:48.400 myself something that stands out to me a lot is this idea that if every single person

00:04:56.400 viewed their mission as being smaller in the sense of it's more contained because it's more within

00:05:03.840 your direct circle we were all trying to be good parents we were all trying to be good siblings we

00:05:08.800 were all trying to be good family members we were all trying to be good community members

00:05:13.120 how many issues would be solved in our society it's funny to think about right that like if

00:05:22.080 every single person focused on what we kind of think of as like small things not huge you know

00:05:31.040 mission finding my mission through my career finding my mission outside of the home if everyone focused

00:05:36.480 it at home how much less would we have to do as a society for things to actually be good

00:05:41.760 we'd have good parents we'd have children raised in good homes and that is the foundation of everything

00:05:47.600 right we know statistically that you know good communities start at home and children who are

00:05:54.640 raised in a in a strong home have a good basis to grow so why do we feel like we need to find

00:06:03.280 mission and purpose in a bigger way or even if it's not like huge even if it's not like public facing

00:06:13.040 it's still outside of the home in your career this is where Jacob came up with the phrase

00:06:17.200 careerification of purpose the idea that you need to find your purpose and your purpose can't just be

00:06:24.800 being a dad being a mom having a job that provides for your family it has to be my purpose is my job

00:06:32.080 and the other stuff will come later like the other stuff is fine the other stuff will figure itself

00:06:37.520 out we literally give people a pass to be worse parents or worse community members if we feel like

00:06:47.680 their mission outside of the home is important enough which is so backwards if you think about it 1.00

00:06:55.200 it it's backwards to think that the important thing is what's going on out there and not here

00:07:03.200 with your family and that thing that's going to provide your children with a really good strong

00:07:09.280 foundation i think men and women are encouraged nowadays to find their mission and their purpose

00:07:16.640 in the workplace and i want to understand why and i think a big part of the reason is that we are

00:07:23.520 trying to distinguish ourselves as individuals as opposed to knowing our worth within a context of other

00:07:32.000 people i'm thinking this through now i've been reading a lot of books on this kind of topic

00:07:38.080 of this rise of individualism but none of us are people within a vacuum we are all people within context

00:07:44.800 of those around us you know i'm my mom's daughter i'm jacob's wife i'm this person's friend that's not

00:07:53.840 all that i am but all of those things together are a big part of what defines me so why do we need to

00:07:59.600 find our mission in the workplace as opposed to at home and with our family and with our community

00:08:05.600 because in the workplace you get to be an individual you get to say i'm important because i did this

00:08:15.600 as opposed to i'm important because i gave this to my daughter or i'm important because i helped the

00:08:25.280 community grow i am important in the context of my role to others not i'm important because look at me

00:08:35.600 you know it's a very modern understanding of the world to view ourselves in a vacuum separate from

00:08:43.520 other people but it's not necessarily a good thing i don't think it is i mean when we think about it

00:08:50.560 what's engraved on our tombstones it's not employee of the month 2020 it's it's mother wife daughter

00:09:01.120 it's who we are in the context of other people so maybe we shouldn't be finding our mission and our

00:09:06.720 purpose outside of our families and outside of our communities we can love what we do and we can

00:09:14.800 additionally find a purpose through our work but if that is more the focus then a smaller mission which

00:09:24.160 has greater impact that of family member that of wife that of daughter i think that's more important

00:09:34.960 i don't want to be somebody who feels like my mission has to be greater than the people i take care of

00:09:44.320 and the people who i love and who love me

00:09:47.200 you know mission doesn't have to be world changing in the sense that we are literally changing the

00:09:55.920 world i think i mentioned this in another video but there's something in judaism where it says

00:10:01.600 every life is like a world so when you are a mother or you're married or you're a daughter

00:10:08.800 your mission to change the world can be being a strong influence on the people around you

00:10:17.920 and that that's okay that can be enough we are enough even if it's only a small circle

00:10:28.080 even if it's not out there even if it's not me me my individual accomplishments in the workplace

00:10:40.240 it's okay to be understood in the context of others so that's what i've been thinking about

00:10:45.680 let me know your thoughts in the comments i i'm curious to know what you guys think about this topic

00:10:50.560 i hope you guys enjoyed today's video let me know in the comments what you think and if you aren't

00:10:55.120 already subscribed to my channel make sure to do so now if you aren't already subscribed to my substack

00:10:59.360 make sure to head over to classicallyabbey.substack.com and if you'd like to follow me on social media

00:11:04.000 it's at classicallyabbey absolutely everywhere thank you so much for watching and i'll see you guys in my

00:11:08.800 next video bye

Classically Abby - January 27, 2022

The Big LIE I Realized About Women And Careers

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