Dale Partridge - September 23, 2020


Real Christianity #112: How to Break Free From Pornography


Episode Stats


Length

22 minutes

Words per minute

159.83421

Word count

3,548

Sentence count

212

Harmful content

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Welcome to this episode of Real Christianity. My name is Dale Partridge, where each week
00:00:13.140 I offer 15 to 20-minute answers to tough theological and pastoral questions. This is
00:00:19.100 a 100% listener-supported audio ministry of relearn.org. And for those who don't know,
00:00:25.720 our mission at relearn.org is to educate and equip ordinary Christians to plant biblical,
00:00:31.860 confessional, and missional house churches. For more information, just visit relearn.org
00:00:37.580 forward slash house. Okay, big question here. Do you look at pornography? If not, statistics say
00:00:45.560 that you absolutely know somebody who does. Recent studies have shown that somewhere between 95 and
00:00:51.840 98% of men have looked at porn at least once. Women aren't far behind at 70% to 80%. 0.54
00:00:58.400 60% to 70% of Christian men and 35% to 45% of Christian women say they look at porn
00:01:05.600 on a monthly basis. And about 10% to 25% of porn users would call themselves
00:01:11.140 addicted or long-term users. And the big question of the day is, do you? Are you a regular or
00:01:18.800 recurrent porn user? And what does the Bible have to say about this, and how can you find healing?
00:01:26.340 Well, we're going to be discussing this and more, but before we begin, I just want to make
00:01:30.480 one quick announcement. Because this episode is on pornography, I have to tell you about
00:01:36.380 our program that I developed at standinvictory.org. I developed it specifically for this reason,
00:01:44.820 And if you're struggling to break free from pornography, consider enrolling at standinvictory.org.
00:01:51.660 It's a short program.
00:01:53.000 It's just made up of three 15 to 20-minute lectures and three study guide PDFs.
00:01:59.320 The program is very affordable, and we've had nearly 1,000 men and women find healing from pornography through this simple gospel-centered online course.
00:02:12.200 And so you can enroll anytime at standinvictory.org.
00:02:16.860 We even offer it for free for those who can't truly afford it.
00:02:22.060 And so please don't abuse that.
00:02:23.820 We have to get those costs covered by somebody, another donor.
00:02:27.980 But if you can't afford it at all, we have a way for people to get that for free as well.
00:02:35.020 We are also noticing, as you guys may have heard, there's a huge spike on pornography use since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic, which I think leads us to some pretty serious conclusions and also a dire need for a conversation.
00:02:53.000 And that's what we're doing today.
00:02:54.420 Today's question is from an anonymous gentleman in Wheaton, Illinois, and he asks,
00:02:59.640 Pastor Dale, I have been going to church for almost 10 years, but I must confess that I have
00:03:05.420 been looking at porn the entire time. I have what seems to be gaps of infrequency, but at the end of
00:03:12.560 the day, I keep returning to porn. I have read scripture, prayed over it, and even fasted once,
00:03:18.580 but nothing seems to work. I want to be free. Can you help me? Well, first, thank you for writing
00:03:25.560 this question. I expect actually that thousands of people, men and women, are going to be edified
00:03:32.520 by your willingness to make such a vulnerable question and for sending that into us. This is
00:03:38.000 such a large discussion that I'm going to try to be very careful on what I say and what I don't say.
00:03:43.860 We only have 15 to 20 minutes. We might go over just a tad here on this one. And I'll start by
00:03:49.040 reminding us about just an important truth. Anyone with a recurrent porn habit doesn't have a porn
00:03:56.520 problem. You have a bondage to sin problem. And there's only one way to be set free from the
00:04:02.380 bondage of sin, and that's through the gospel of Jesus Christ. And I'll probably be quite raw
00:04:09.680 on this topic, but only because the Bible is raw on this topic. So whenever a person who calls
00:04:17.540 themselves, a Christian, admits to an ongoing, habitual, patternistic, long-term, and bondage-like
00:04:26.760 experience with any sin. I believe these are valid pastoral grounds for questioning someone's
00:04:35.780 conversion. In other words, has this person truly been born again? Because my experience as a pastor
00:04:42.260 has taught me that just because somebody says that they're a Christian doesn't necessarily mean
00:04:46.480 that they're saved. I've personally known and heard of people who thought they were Christians
00:04:53.160 for many years. They end up having a born-again experience right there in the pew that they've
00:04:59.380 been sitting at for the past decade. And Jesus talks about this in Matthew 15, 8, when he says,
00:05:06.580 this people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. Titus 1, 15 through 16 says,
00:05:11.980 to the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and the unbelieving, nothing is pure,
00:05:15.680 but their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God,
00:05:20.300 but they deny him by their works. Pretty fascinating that these people would act this
00:05:28.360 way and profess to know God, but they deny them by their works. Then Jesus says in Matthew 7,
00:05:34.260 21 through 23, which we covered in last week's episode, go back there if you haven't listened to
00:05:38.420 it. He says, quote, Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven,
00:05:44.380 but he who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me that day, Lord, Lord, have we
00:05:48.740 not prophesied in your name, cast out demons in your name, and done many wonders in your name?
00:05:52.680 And then I will declare to them, I never knew you. Depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.
00:05:58.520 Now, I want you to remember this statement, you who practice lawlessness. We're going to talk
00:06:03.740 about that later in today's episode. Basically, what we need to swallow is the reality that many
00:06:09.580 people have come to church without coming to Christ, and they've confused religious moralism
00:06:16.360 for regeneration of the soul. And they have not been set free from the bondage of sin because
00:06:23.100 they were never really presented the gospel of Jesus Christ. Instead, they were presented a
00:06:29.080 man-made effort to convert them with an emotional moment where they prayed a prayer, and they were
00:06:35.280 told that they were saved by some minister who had bad doctrine. Now, I'm generalizing here,
00:06:40.340 but years later, these falsely assured people in the church begin to realize that they've been
00:06:48.260 made better by good behavior, by religious good behavior, but they've not been made new by the
00:06:55.000 power of the Holy Spirit. And they begin to notice that the sin in their life has a grip on their
00:07:02.140 heart. And they're actually just like the Pharisees, whitewashed tombs, right? Clean on the outside and
00:07:08.300 wretched on the inside. And I said the quote last week from Dr. Stephen Lawson, I'm going to put it
00:07:13.560 in this episode too. He says, the only thing worse than not having the assurance of salvation is
00:07:19.540 having the false assurance of salvation. In fact, I would say too often our pride won't let us see
00:07:26.060 our true spiritual status in these situations where we're falsely assured. It almost always
00:07:34.460 requires a preacher to boldly proclaim the gospel over and over and over, and in God's timing,
00:07:40.640 he opens up their eyes, and they finally let go of their dead testimony and truly
00:07:47.180 come to Christ in genuine repentance and saving faith. And if you haven't read my testimony,
00:07:52.040 again, that's at relearn.org forward slash testimony. And I speak with authority on this
00:07:56.960 because this was me. This was me. I was dead in the pew for many, many years.
00:08:03.760 Now, I'm not saying that if you look at porn that you're not saved. Thomas Watson said it best when
00:08:11.700 he wrote, while sin still remains in the born-again Christian, sin does not reign in the born-again 0.65
00:08:19.500 Christian. So Christians sin, but they're not slaves to sin. Christians fall, but they don't
00:08:25.340 lay in the mud, right? Christians fail, but they fail less and less as they are sanctified by 1.00
00:08:31.240 Christ. And we're never going to be perfect until we're glorified, but there is a improving or a
00:08:37.660 maturity that's occurring. And what I'm saying is that if you look at porn in a long-term,
00:08:44.540 habitual, addictive-like manner, you'd be wise to, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 13,
00:08:50.580 5, examine yourself to see if you're in the faith. And I can also confirm that we've had many people
00:08:59.160 who have testified personally in writing after going through our program at standinvictory.org
00:09:06.460 that they finally realized that they actually weren't born again. And that through that very
00:09:13.900 real self-examination process by God's grace, they found themselves still spiritually dead
00:09:18.720 and in bondage to sin when they thought that they just needed to work harder to not look at porn.
00:09:24.820 They just thought they just needed to work harder. And sometimes there is a discipline
00:09:30.180 of just being obedient. And that is part of that. But the deeper discussion, we're going to try to
00:09:37.300 have a bit of it today. And if you want to learn more, you can go to the program. But again, if
00:09:42.180 you're a regular porn viewer who's calling themselves a Christian, you may be a new 0.73
00:09:49.580 believer and you just need more information about what the Bible says about sexual immorality, 0.99
00:09:53.720 meaning that you may simply just be ignorant of God's will regarding pornography and sexual 0.93
00:09:59.120 immorality. And once you hear the truth in these matters, you're going to find freedom through
00:10:03.200 spirit-empowered obedience. But on the other hand, you might also find out that you're not actually
00:10:08.520 born again, and you're actually still in bondage to your sin, and you can't quit because you don't
00:10:14.260 have the Spirit of God assisting you through conviction and strength, and your religious
00:10:19.340 behavior modification has come to the end of its rope, and you actually need to come to Christ for
00:10:24.540 the first time to be set free. So you might be in one of these camps. You know, since we have a
00:10:30.880 limited amount of time here, I'm going to just walk us through just one text that I have found
00:10:36.900 to be very fruitful for dealing with people in the church who have long-term habitual porn
00:10:43.760 viewing, I guess, habits. It's 1 John 3, 4 through 10. And I'm going to read it here in the ESV. But
00:10:55.540 now I want you to remember, remember I said earlier to keep the verse in Matthew in mind
00:11:01.740 where Jesus said, I never knew you depart from me, you who practice lawlessness. I need you to see
00:11:08.420 how that verse in Matthew connects to the verse we're about to read here in 1 John. So
00:11:13.580 So in 1 John, the Apostle John writes, and I quote,
00:11:18.180 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness.
00:11:23.640 Sin is lawlessness.
00:11:24.940 You know that he appeared in order to take sin away.
00:11:28.780 And in him, there is no sin.
00:11:31.220 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning.
00:11:34.240 No one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him.
00:11:38.020 Little children, let no one deceive you.
00:11:39.840 Whoever practices righteousness is righteous as he is righteous.
00:11:44.800 Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning.
00:11:50.540 The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.
00:11:54.580 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him,
00:11:59.900 and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.
00:12:04.980 By this, it is evident who are the children of God and who are the children of the devil.
00:12:10.780 Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God.
00:12:14.980 Dot, dot, dot, end quote.
00:12:16.600 Okay, now I wish I could just deliver an entire 60-minute expository sermon on this passage of Scripture,
00:12:23.700 but I'm going to have to settle for a brief explanation and some application instead.
00:12:27.600 But again, in our online program, I dive into greater detail on this passage if you feel like
00:12:34.580 you need it. The first question we have to ask is, what does it mean to practice something,
00:12:43.520 to practice lawlessness, as the apostle says, and as Jesus is away from me, depart from me,
00:12:48.940 you who practice lawlessness? What does it mean to practice something?
00:12:52.980 Well, it means you're getting better at it.
00:12:56.200 And in relationship to porn, this may mean that you're learning what websites that you like or what kind of porn you prefer.
00:13:04.800 In other words, you're improving your experience.
00:13:07.500 This is a form of practice.
00:13:08.920 It might also mean that you're getting better at hiding it.
00:13:12.120 You know when to look at porn and how to hide your online trail.
00:13:16.520 Again, you're improving.
00:13:17.480 You're getting better at it.
00:13:18.420 It also means that you enjoy it and that's why you improve at it. Now you might say, no, Dale,
00:13:25.120 I actually hate it. I just can't stop. I would disagree with you. Dynamic sin, meaning committing
00:13:34.560 sin, not omitting, like not the sin of omission, but the sin of commission. Dynamic sin doesn't
00:13:42.700 happened to us. We choose it. Now, I know that you may hate the way it makes you feel after you
00:13:50.160 look at it or the way that it hurts your spouse because you look at porn, but you don't hate
00:13:58.180 porn. You actually love it. And again, I'm not talking about the one-time user who fails once
00:14:06.000 per year or less, confesses the sin, repents, and moves on. I'm not talking about you.
00:14:12.280 I'm talking about the habitual porn user who calls himself or herself a Christian. 0.89
00:14:17.820 And if this sounds like you, if you practice the sin of pornography in this manner, 0.71
00:14:24.540 this passage in 1 John should cover you in the fear of the Lord. Verse 6 says,
00:14:29.980 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning. No one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known
00:14:35.540 him. I think it's 17th or 18th century, I believe 18th century, theologian John Gill commented on
00:14:43.160 this verse saying, this does not mean that he has no sin in him or lives without sin, but that he
00:14:51.360 does not live in sin, nor does he give himself up to a vicious course of life, for this would be
00:14:58.700 inconsistent with his dwelling in Christ and enjoying communion with him. Nor has he ever
00:15:06.020 savingly known him or been truly acquainted with him, for though he may profess to know him in
00:15:12.300 words, he denies him in works. The next verse, I believe verse 7, says, Little children, let no one
00:15:20.260 deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous as he is righteous. Whoever makes a
00:15:26.300 practice of sinning is of the devil. This is basically teaching the idea good trees bear good
00:15:33.380 fruit and bad trees bear bad fruit. And if you're not bearing good fruit, Jesus in Matthew 7, 16
00:15:40.680 through 20 tells us of false Christians, he says, quote, so every healthy tree bears good fruit, 0.62
00:15:47.620 but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, 0.85
00:15:53.980 nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down
00:16:01.360 and thrown into the fire. Thus, you will recognize them by their fruits. Right? And this is a good
00:16:08.780 example. If you think about a tree, a tree that generally produces good fruit will still have a
00:16:12.240 apple on it. You know, you can sin, fail, and still have a bad fruit moment. But the idea is
00:16:17.420 if you're walking in habitual bad fruit, this is a different situation, right? Ultimately,
00:16:23.680 the text is teaching us that there are people who sin, and there are people who practice sin.
00:16:29.580 And Christians sin, but we don't practice sin. For those who practice sin, the apostle is saying
00:16:36.280 they are not sons and daughters of God. They are sons and daughters of the devil.
00:16:42.700 So what's the solution? We find it in verse 9. It says, quote,
00:16:47.900 quote, no one born of God makes a practice of sinning for God's seed abides in him and he
00:16:54.780 cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. And what I, what he means by that is he
00:17:00.420 cannot keep on sinning willfully, uh, habitually. It's too painful because he understands that he's,
00:17:08.440 he's spitting in the face of the savior when he does that, right? It's too painful to do it
00:17:15.800 habitually. We all fall. We all have these moments, but to do it habitually is a different
00:17:20.820 situation. The only path to freedom from the bondage of any category of sin is through the
00:17:27.900 spiritual process of being born again, and that's something that's a work fully of the Lord.
00:17:34.920 Because we're born in bondage to our sin by the cause of Adam, the only way for our hearts to be
00:17:42.280 redeemed and restored, is to be born again by the cause of Christ. This happens only by
00:17:50.720 humbly coming to the Lord, recognizing that without Christ, you are guilty against a holy God
00:17:56.440 and deserving of the eternal consequences. And this means that you really need to
00:18:04.140 cast yourself at the feet of Christ and trust in him alone, in his righteousness alone,
00:18:11.760 for him to earn the righteous verdict that you cannot earn on judgment day when you stand before
00:18:18.800 God. And this means also that you repent of your sin and you turn away from your sin and you turn
00:18:25.420 to Christ for strength and sanctification. You know, without Christ, you cannot conquer any sin,
00:18:32.180 None of it. And this means that the gospel is really the only path to true freedom from the
00:18:43.020 bondage of pornography. Now, I wish that I could spend more time breaking this down. And again,
00:18:49.040 that's why we created StandinVictory.org as a companion ministry to what we do. In order to
00:18:55.340 have healthy churches, you have to have healthy Christians. And we find that people in churches
00:19:01.500 have to deal with this issue of pornography or marriage. And that's why we've created some of
00:19:05.120 these companion ministries that support our church ministry. My prayer for anyone who feels right now
00:19:11.900 the weight of their sin at this moment, praise God. This is the Lord drawing you and making you aware
00:19:22.080 that you need to repent and come to the Lord, potentially for the first time.
00:19:29.320 and I would say, get before the Lord quietly in a room and beg him to save you. Just scream out,
00:19:38.220 save me. Jesus says in John 6, 37, all that the father gives me will come to me and whoever comes
00:19:43.800 to me, I will never cast out. If you come, he will not turn you away. What a wonderful promise that
00:19:51.060 is, I am praying for you through these words that you may come to know him in a born-again
00:19:59.280 experience and free, find yourself free from the bondage of pornography.
00:20:04.780 I am also going to leave you guys with a few resources that you could find on the post
00:20:09.660 page for this episode at relearn.org.
00:20:12.100 This is episode titled, How to Break Free from Pornography.
00:20:15.300 It's number 112, and two resources.
00:20:19.180 One is a video. It's titled, You're Not Addicted, The Power to Resist Pornography by John Piper.
00:20:25.540 It's a five-minute video. I actually break this down in detail in the program. So you can see it
00:20:32.820 there, but you can also see it outside of the program. Another video is How to Fight Addiction
00:20:37.440 in a Pornographic Culture by Votie Bauckham, another great resource. And we also provided a
00:20:44.080 link for Stand in Victory for you there as well. Thank you guys for listening to this episode. If
00:20:49.620 you're a regular listener to this podcast, we would appreciate if you could leave us a review.
00:20:53.240 You just need to tap the stars. But if you don't want to write anything, you don't have to. But
00:20:59.640 if you do write something, I will read it. And they are very encouraging to us. It's a blessing
00:21:05.180 to see you guys encourage and hear some of your stories. So thank you for those who have left a
00:21:10.420 review. And then the last thing I want to say is, if you don't follow our ministry on Instagram,
00:21:16.600 you can do that. Just search for relearn.org on Instagram, and you will find us there.
00:21:21.360 And we'd love to have you as we produce resources to plant healthy house churches.
00:21:26.920 On that note, my name is Dale Partridge, and I will see you guys next week.
00:21:33.240 Thank you for listening to this episode of Real Christianity. If you're a regular listener to
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00:22:08.880 on this episode of Real Christianity. We'll see you next Wednesday.