Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - #124 | Can I get some credit for shutting down the SPLC please

00:00:00.000 Can I get some credit for shutting down the SPLC, please?

00:00:03.000 I'm seeing all these articles about their imminent demise, and they're leaving out the imminent Jeevis. 1.00

00:00:12.000 Gavin!

00:00:13.000 I gotta work on that a little.

00:00:14.000 That wasn't quite as witty as it could be.

00:00:18.000 But it's hard to rhyme things with imminent demise, which is why you don't hear it in a lot of rap songs.

00:00:23.000 But for fuck's sakes, man!

00:00:26.000 Here's what happened.

00:00:27.000 They decided they were the arbiters of what is just and what is moral.

00:00:32.000 They attacked me.

00:00:34.000 They attacked Proud Boys.

00:00:36.000 They got Proud Boys fired.

00:00:38.000 36 of them fired.

00:00:40.000 They got all with this phony hate group designation.

00:00:44.000 They got people facing a year in prison.

00:00:48.000 Big J's facing a year in prison.

00:00:51.000 So I say, fuck that, and I fight back.

00:00:53.000 Now, I know others have fought back in the past.

00:00:56.000 There was Glenn Allen, who used to be a white nationalist, but isn't anymore.

00:01:01.000 And they found out that he was and they had him removed from the bar.

00:01:05.000 That's pretty shitty, but it's not like a kind of smoking gun I have.

00:01:11.000 And then there was Majid Nawaz, who sued them because they said he was a radical extremist anti-Muslim, but he's actually a Muslim who was against radical extremists.

00:01:25.000 So he got 3.7 million for that, but they could tell he wanted to settle.

00:01:29.000 And he was suing from Britain, which is like, it's like being sued from La La Land.

00:01:34.000 They don't have free speech there, so you just can't win when you get sued from Britain, so you just sort of say yes.

00:01:41.000 There's also my buddy Craig Nelson is suing them he He started this group.

00:01:49.000 He noticed that white men commit suicide more than any other group So it's crazy like 60% more than anyone else So he set up a boxing club to deal with that a fight club kind of thing where men can get their frustrations out and I cannot say enough about boxing and how healthy it is for you and

00:02:10.000 Mentally fuck fighting just mentally anyway.

00:02:14.000 He set up this club.

00:02:15.000 I probably got it here somewhere What's it called now it is called his name's Craig Nelson and The

00:02:32.000 The implication was that he was opening a whites-only club in Lexington, which wasn't true.

00:02:36.000 Anyone could join.

00:02:39.000 But it was directed toward white guys.

00:02:44.000 But anyone can join.

00:02:46.000 And I can't find the fucking name of it.

00:02:50.000 All right, here it is.

00:02:51.000 The Robinson Jeffers Boxing Club.

00:02:52.000 13-week residency program for men in distress and designed to address the particular challenges unique to white males in modern America.

00:02:59.000 White males are 30% of the population, but 70% of the nation suicides.

00:03:03.000 Moreover, I believe we were out of the gate days, maybe weeks ahead of Proud Boys.

00:03:07.000 Sure.

00:03:08.000 I'm sure Craig wants to take some credit.

00:03:10.000 Craig and I are strangely competitive for some reason.

00:03:14.000 The Center of Immigration Studies is suing him under the RICO Act.

00:03:17.000 That's how Giuliani got the mob shut down.

00:03:20.000 But the RICO Act is almost impossible to sue for.

00:03:23.000 So, the problem with Glenn's case is—he actually was a white nationalist—the problem with Craig's case is it was directed towards white males.

00:03:32.000 It was not a whites-only club, but that has stigma on it.

00:03:36.000 The problem with Majid's case is it was from Britain.

00:03:40.000 And the problem with the Center of Immigration Studies is it's Rico. 0.97

00:03:43.000 Now I'm not shitting on any of these people.

00:03:44.000 They're all great people.

00:03:45.000 And they're all right.

00:03:47.000 But my case is a guy who has some money, so I'm not willing to settle.

00:03:52.000 That's clear.

00:03:53.000 I'm also a funny man.

00:03:55.000 So it's a war on humor.

00:03:58.000 So they know I'm going to go all the way on this.

00:04:00.000 And I made it clear that I'm looking for discovery.

00:04:03.000 And what's discovery?

00:04:04.000 I want to see your emails.

00:04:06.000 Now that opens a whole Pandora's box because these guys are brutally corrupt.

00:04:13.000 Explain to me, riddle me this, why does a non-profit have any money in the Cayman Islands?

00:04:20.000 Now we know they have over half a billion here in America, that's curious enough, but why do you need money in the Cayman Islands?

00:04:29.000 And they say, oh, it's only $132 million.

00:04:31.000 Yeah, how do I know?

00:04:32.000 Do you promise?

00:04:34.000 Stamped your heart?

00:04:35.000 Crossed your heart?

00:04:36.000 Stamped no erasies?

00:04:39.000 So they're clearly concerned about that getting out and all their nefarious dealings.

00:04:48.000 Um, and I think what they're trying to do is just reboot the SPLC.

00:04:54.000 So when all of this shit comes out that I am exposing, oh, and one other thing too, by the way, if you go to defendgavin.com, please do, you'll see there's about 5,000 donors there.

00:05:04.000 So this isn't just Majid Nawaz.

00:05:06.000 This isn't one person who's annoyed with them.

00:05:08.000 This is a movement of people saying, all right, enough is enough.

00:05:12.000 Gavin was clearly joking around.

00:05:14.000 Fuck you.

00:05:16.000 And so, that's not something that you can just write away.

00:05:20.000 But when I say write away, I mean W-R-I-T-E. 1.00

00:05:24.000 Write off, I should have said.

00:05:27.000 After I filed, they said, this is so stupid.

00:05:30.000 What a loser.

00:05:31.000 Hey, I think you can kind of tell.

00:05:33.000 He goes, you can kind of tell that we're doing our job right when you see the caliber of our enemies.

00:05:33.000 Richard Cohen said this.

00:05:39.000 I mean, two weeks later, he quits.

00:05:43.000 Morris Dease.

00:05:45.000 Helps delay the case, I assume.

00:05:47.000 He's the top brass there.

00:05:48.000 They delayed the case 60 days.

00:05:50.000 60 days?

00:05:52.000 Why do you need it delayed if it's so frivolous?

00:05:54.000 Then, boom, he's fired.

00:05:57.000 And their legal... the head of their legal department... What's her name? 0.98

00:06:01.000 Braunstein?

00:06:03.000 Where do I have her? 1.00

00:06:06.000 Uh-oh.

00:06:06.000 It's not there.

00:06:11.000 What's her name?

00:06:13.000 I'm not doing a very good job, am I?

00:06:19.000 Head of the legal team.

00:06:20.000 Brown, Brownstein?

00:06:22.000 Look her up.

00:06:23.000 She left.

00:06:24.000 She quit. 1.00

00:06:26.000 And they pull in Michelle Obama's chief of staff.

00:06:30.000 Rhonda Brownstein.

00:06:30.000 What's her name?

00:06:31.000 Rhonda Brownstein.

00:06:32.000 Rhonda Brownstein, the head of the legal team over there.

00:06:35.000 She quits.

00:06:37.000 She's gone.

00:06:39.000 And they've hired Michelle Obama's chief of staff.

00:06:44.000 And her name is Tina Chen.

00:06:46.000 Sounds like she's hot, right? 1.00

00:06:49.000 She's not.

00:06:50.000 She looks like that Korean dude who played Kim Jong-un in the interview with James Franco and that other guy, Seth Rogen.

00:06:59.000 She is, wow. 0.85

00:07:02.000 She looks so much like a dude. 0.72

00:07:05.000 Asians rarely look like dudes. 1.00

00:07:07.000 And Asian men can look like women very easily. 0.99

00:07:10.000 Yeah.

00:07:11.000 We're just androgynous.

00:07:12.000 Is that why you have facial hair?

00:07:13.000 Just to make it clear?

00:07:15.000 Yep.

00:07:16.000 Maybe you're... You know what's not crazy, Ryan?

00:07:19.000 Maybe you're a factor.

00:07:21.000 What do you mean?

00:07:22.000 Me specifically?

00:07:22.000 Yeah.

00:07:23.000 Like they go, if anyone looks me up or checks out my show, they see it's, it's Ryan.

00:07:30.000 It's like Gavin and the Gavin and Ryan show.

00:07:32.000 Me and the Japanese Puerto Rican.

00:07:33.000 Well, I was in the contract to maintain ethnicity.

00:07:39.000 Furthermore, in this contract known as M.E.

00:07:43.000 because it's repeated so many times that we just go M.E.

00:07:48.000 That joke sucked.

00:07:49.000 I thought it was just a statement.

00:07:53.000 Well, that's a contract joke.

00:07:55.000 I mean, you haven't seen a lot of contracts, but if there's something long like Proud Boys of America, they just go PBA and furthermore.

00:08:03.000 Anyway, so this is great, and it's in the New Yorker.

00:08:08.000 It's funny, too, how all these people, all these mainstream lefty sources, were using the SPLC as a credible source and saying, yes, they're listed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

00:08:22.000 And then the Southern Poverty Law Center starts collapsing, and A, they leave me out of it, which pisses me off.

00:08:27.000 B, they don't mention the crowdfunding

00:08:29.000 Uh, Paige, which also pisses me off.

00:08:32.000 But C, they're just like, yep, they're fucked. 0.71

00:08:35.000 I mean, I don't give a shit.

00:08:36.000 But these were your guys!

00:08:39.000 It's like when everyone found out Rob Halford was gay, the metal community was rocked to its foundations. 0.99

00:08:45.000 Because they had been listening to FREEWHEEL BURNING!

00:08:49.000 This is sort of like metalheads going, Judas Priest are a bunch of homos, and uh, they suck and no one's ever listening to them again. 1.00

00:08:57.000 Like, you gotta stand by your boys!

00:09:00.000 MSM, Mainstream Media.

00:09:02.000 Remember in Heavy Metal Parking Lot where that girl, she did know Rob Halford was gay and she goes, Glenn Tipton, whatever the other guy's name was, you rock, Rob Halford don't know about you.

00:09:16.000 Everyone had their gaydar busted in the 70s.

00:09:20.000 We saw Liberace and we thought, I hope he finds a nice lady, because he's really good at, he's a really good penis.

00:09:28.000 Or we saw the YMCA, the village people, and they're singing about how it's a great place to go and meet guys and you can work out.

00:09:37.000 I'm like, good, get in shape, guys.

00:09:39.000 Get in shape, guy with a leather S&M fucking chest plate on.

00:09:43.000 I hope you work out a lot.

00:09:46.000 And there was Paul Land.

00:09:48.000 Paul Land, hi!

00:09:51.000 Rip Taylor with his confetti and his big mustache.

00:09:54.000 A fucking band who called themselves Queen.

00:09:59.000 Queen!

00:10:00.000 And the guy, the singer, with his little mustache, prants around on stage barefoot in leotards, and his goal with the band?

00:10:08.000 I want to bring opera to the masses.

00:10:11.000 That's my goal with Queen.

00:10:13.000 And we went, good, I hope you do that, and meet some hot chicks, Freddie. 1.00

00:10:18.000 Because you have some great jams, and I hope when you're bringing opera to the masses in your bare feet, you get some serious poontang.

00:10:25.000 Fuck.

00:10:28.000 Anyway, they're all imploding.

00:10:32.000 So I think what they're going to do with my case is say, yes, Gavin's right.

00:10:39.000 It was a shit show.

00:10:40.000 We were wrong.

00:10:41.000 We were half-assed about what we deemed hate.

00:10:46.000 But all those guys are gone now.

00:10:48.000 Richard Cohen, Morris Dees, even our head of the legal team is gone.

00:10:51.000 And we brought in the semi-androgynous Tina Tchen. 0.97

00:10:57.000 And she's got a stellar reputation, and she fixed us! 0.75

00:11:01.000 Well, I'm sorry, SPLC.

00:11:02.000 That's not the way it works.

00:11:03.000 If you sell toys to kids with lead paint, and the kids get contaminated, and you say, no, we don't use that paint anymore, the kids still got contaminated.

00:11:13.000 You still did the damage.

00:11:15.000 You're still culpable.

00:11:17.000 Monetarily culpable, SPLC.

00:11:21.000 So this will be fun.

00:11:22.000 I talked to James O'Keefe about deposition and he goes, I hope you're ready for those.

00:11:26.000 They're pretty grueling, man.

00:11:27.000 They're 12 hours.

00:11:29.000 I thought, I couldn't imagine anything I'd like to do more than a deposition.

00:11:34.000 Like when Richard Cohen was asked about my case, this is the guy who has since

00:11:40.000 Morris Dees was fired.

00:11:40.000 Quit.

00:11:42.000 Richard Cohen quit.

00:11:43.000 Ran home with his tail between his legs.

00:11:44.000 And by the way, when you're at that level of corporate business, quit and fired are the same.

00:11:50.000 They sit there and they go, well, what do you want to do?

00:11:52.000 Do you want us to say you were fired?

00:11:54.000 Maybe that'll help with whatever insurance you have.

00:11:57.000 Or should we say you quit?

00:11:59.000 It's irrelevant.

00:12:00.000 The only time quit and fired is different is at Arby's.

00:12:05.000 As soon as you go higher than fast food, then they're meaningless terms.

00:12:10.000 So he was either fired and said he quit, or quit and said he was fired.

00:12:14.000 But I remember when Richard Cohen said the case, he said that whole, like, called me a shithead, basically.

00:12:21.000 But his examples of how I'm evil are, were three cases.

00:12:26.000 One, he said Cory Booker is some kind of a Sambo.

00:12:32.000 I did say that.

00:12:34.000 Oh, I thought you said he said that.

00:12:35.000 No, I said that.

00:12:36.000 So your oof was hearing my words. 0.67

00:12:39.000 Oh, no, that's coming.

00:12:40.000 I thought I said oof for a non-comedian to say that?

00:12:43.000 Right.

00:12:43.000 Well, if I was in a deposition and they asked me about that, I'd say, are you familiar with Cory Booker?

00:12:47.000 No.

00:12:48.000 Well, yes, I know who he is.

00:12:49.000 He's a New Jersey governor or something.

00:12:52.000 Where did he grow up?

00:12:53.000 What did his parents do?

00:12:53.000 I don't know.

00:12:54.000 I don't know.

00:12:56.000 I don't know.

00:12:56.000 Who's T-Bone?

00:12:57.000 OK, so you don't know about Cory Booker.

00:12:59.000 So you just know about the rude word Sambo.

00:13:01.000 And it was a rude word.

00:13:03.000 I've also heard him described as a wigger, which is very rude.

00:13:06.000 It's a colorful term, which is what you're... It's swear words.

00:13:09.000 It's like cunt.

00:13:10.000 Sambo is cunt. 0.68

00:13:10.000 Yeah. 0.68

00:13:11.000 Now, Ann Coulter and I have argued about this, and she says, because I'm a Canadian, I don't get the slavery angle, and I don't get that bad words when they're describing visible minorities are very different, especially blacks.

00:13:25.000 And I'm open to that possibility.

00:13:27.000 But anyway, I said a bad word.

00:13:29.000 But my point was, he grew up in a completely white neighborhood, the nicest area in New Jersey.

00:13:36.000 His parents were both successful black IBM executives.

00:13:41.000 He didn't grow up around any black people.

00:13:44.000 There's nothing black about his life experience at all.

00:13:48.000 And he's well aware of that, and he's very self-conscious about that.

00:13:51.000 Because although Obama and him, and who else is like this?

00:13:56.000 Melissa Harris Perry, she was adopted by whites and she grew up in Ohio, you know, listening to country music.

00:14:01.000 But then she has her fucking braids and she's... All her Instagram, I remember a couple years ago, was all like chitlins and grits and black people in every photo. 1.00

00:14:11.000 That's not her life.

00:14:13.000 She's as black as Rachel Dolezal. 1.00

00:14:15.000 In fact, Rachel Dolezal had her on her show and they talked about their hair. 0.86

00:14:21.000 That was one of the weirdest things.

00:14:23.000 Rachel Dolezal, they were talking about their weave and their frizzy hair and stuff.

00:14:27.000 Rachel has her hair permed to become black and frizzy.

00:14:32.000 By the way, Black and Frizzy's playing at the... it's a duet.

00:14:37.000 It's a duo.

00:14:38.000 You know who else Melissa Harris Perry had on her show was that tranny who was on the cover of the magazine Laverne Cox. 1.00

00:14:46.000 Who's very sexy, very beautiful.

00:14:50.000 I'd love to make love to her. 0.72

00:14:54.000 And they talked about being young black girls and sneaking how Stella got her groove back or something, the DVD from the local library, and running and taking it home.

00:15:04.000 And I'm watching the interview going, Melissa, A, you were white, so no one gave a shit. 1.00

00:15:10.000 Your white parents are going to go, what the fuck are you watching?

00:15:14.000 You watching a movie about black people you black person we adopted how dare you I Can tell you having kids who are non-white I pushed the American Indian stuff on them all the time and they don't they don't seem very excited about going to powwows and Learning how to fancy dance and all that stuff. 1.00

00:15:33.000 So it's a tough sell sometimes if they're not surrounded with it They'll probably get into it later.

00:15:37.000 I mean that that pride stuff comes later.

00:15:39.000 I

00:15:40.000 The identity of I didn't care about any of that stuff then I was like, hey, you know Japanese people are better To it at least it's also New York State They're they're Midwestern Indians and there's not a lot going on the zero of her tribe of their tribe up here But also like when they do a powwow in New York, it's an amalgam of tribes because there's so few up here anyway 0.76

00:16:02.000 Kaepernick, too, though, by the way.

00:16:03.000 He was raised by white parents, too, no?

00:16:05.000 Yep, Colin Kaepernick's another one.

00:16:07.000 And then there's people who had a black dad that was never around, but they just are part of the black experience, like Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey.

00:16:17.000 Or then you have Jordan Peele, who is exactly like Cory Booker.

00:16:22.000 But Jordan Peele isn't annoying.

00:16:25.000 Like his movies are very black, but he's a black guy.

00:16:27.000 I don't have no problem with Jordan Peele.

00:16:29.000 Well, sometimes Get Out kind of bothered me, but that's a whole other podcast.

00:16:34.000 But Cory Booker is very self-conscious about that because blacks don't like it. 1.00

00:16:39.000 Beto's getting this with the Hispanic vote. 0.94

00:16:42.000 They don't like that he's pretending to be Hispanic.

00:16:46.000 That's not cool.

00:16:48.000 And I agree with them.

00:16:52.000 So in order, and I've talked about this before, in order to cover up the fact that he's just basically a white dude with black skin, I mean, what's black about you if you grew up as a millionaire black guy in an all white neighborhood and went to all white schools and didn't know any black people growing up?

00:17:07.000 I'm genuinely asking that.

00:17:09.000 Isn't that kind of, I mean, it's an interesting question.

00:17:13.000 Well, I've experienced racism.

00:17:15.000 Have you?

00:17:17.000 Like, maybe someone yelled the N-word from their truck when you were camping in Northern Ontario once?

00:17:23.000 I don't know.

00:17:24.000 Without dice or any of the accoutrements that come with black culture. 1.00

00:17:30.000 You know?

00:17:31.000 You don't even know the food.

00:17:32.000 Anyway, because he was self-conscious about that, he invented a gangster buddy named T-Bone!

00:17:39.000 And that, to me, is a great example of what a phony he is.

00:17:42.000 That's why I said that horrible Sambo thing. 1.00

00:17:44.000 And when I worked at CRTV, they were pretty freaked out about it because there's a lot of Southerners at CRTV, and apparently in the South, that's heavy shit to say that word.

00:17:54.000 Up in Canada, not so much.

00:17:57.000 Not so much of a big deal, the word Sambo.

00:17:59.000 Anyways, that was one of Richard Cohen's beefs with me.

00:18:03.000 Before he quit his job, so he's laughing.

00:18:06.000 This is like, I'm trying to gloat here, but the media won't gloat along with me.

00:18:09.000 Maybe because I'm such an arrogant dick that they go, I don't want to gloat with that fucker.

00:18:13.000 They think the gloating's covered.

00:18:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:18:16.000 They're probably right.

00:18:18.000 But, um, uh, yeah, Richard Cohen sitting there laughing.

00:18:22.000 He thinks he can fuck with this SPLC.

00:18:25.000 What a loser.

00:18:26.000 Two weeks later, I quit.

00:18:28.000 It's hard here.

00:18:30.000 This is, we're having some troubles.

00:18:32.000 Yeah, you're having some troubles.

00:18:33.000 You know the troubles are too.

00:18:35.000 The troubles are it's a horrible place to work and it's steeped in racism and sexism.

00:18:42.000 The black people there get treated like shit and they are our thing of suing. 1.00

00:18:49.000 They are all

00:18:51.000 Banding together.

00:18:52.000 I think they wrote a big letter that about a hundred people signed talking about how all the top brass there are white.

00:18:59.000 All the money makers are white. 0.95

00:19:00.000 And every time a black person has power at the SPLC, it's some tokenistic position that doesn't really pay, or maybe pays 30 grand a year. 0.73

00:19:11.000 The ones making the big bucks?

00:19:13.000 All white. 0.68

00:19:15.000 Isn't it funny, too, that they were shitting on Proud Boys, who are, I would say, disproportionately black.

00:19:20.000 Meaning, blacks are 14% of the population.

00:19:23.000 In many cities, they're more than... Proud Boys were more than 14% black.

00:19:28.000 And so you have this all-white group criticizing blacks.

00:19:32.000 In fact, there was an Australian documentary called SRS, I think.

00:19:38.000 It was a division of NBC Australia.

00:19:40.000 And they did a feature on Proud Boys.

00:19:44.000 And then they went and talked to the Southern Poverty Law Center.

00:19:47.000 And they said, yeah, they're racist and they're white nationalists, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:50.000 And then the guy interviewing him goes, but a lot of the guys on it were black.

00:19:57.000 There are a lot of black proud boys with the ones I met in New York.

00:20:01.000 And then he says his defense to that allegation was, A, there's not that many of them, and B, that doesn't mean you're not racist, which is the stupidest thing.

00:20:15.000 That is peak clown world.

00:20:17.000 This concept of multi-racial white supremacy is the dumbest, the mainstream thought I think has ever been since flat earth.

00:20:26.000 I would put it up there with Flat Earth.

00:20:28.000 That black people are part of the KKK in your mind?

00:20:32.000 What an idiotic thing, what an embarrassing thing to say.

00:20:35.000 And by the way, when you say things that ridiculous, it's not like people go, oh, that's a wake-up call.

00:20:40.000 They just go, yeah, fuck off, I'm not listening to you anymore.

00:20:44.000 I think it was Daily Beast that talked about multiracial white supremacy soon after their viewership plummeted and they had to fire dozens of employees.

00:20:55.000 That's the thing about the firings that went on at BuzzFeed and Vice and Daily Beast and all those dumb Huffington Post Vox sites.

00:21:06.000 It happened right after they became these social justice warriors who said stupid shit like that.

00:21:11.000 And then they said we got to unionize because we're not making enough money.

00:21:14.000 You're not making enough money because you're just puking out bullshit.

00:21:18.000 You're talking about black people who join white nationalist clubs.

00:21:22.000 You know how idiotic you sound?

00:21:24.000 And that's what the SPLC was doing.

00:21:26.000 But I don't believe

00:21:28.000 I think the real reason that they're all quitting in droves goes deeper than just the fact that they're hypocrites and that they got us wrong and they got people fired for no reason.

00:21:35.000 I think the big reason they're firing is deep-seated corruption, financial corruption, and their determination to take over big tech.

00:21:47.000 Just when I filed suit, they're using my face as the logo for this, but it was called Change the Terms.

00:21:54.000 And it was a campaign to make it much stricter on the internet as far as censoring people.

00:22:02.000 Excuse me, that's disgusting.

00:22:07.000 And that's when I filed suit.

00:22:09.000 So I think a lot of my support was other people saying, I don't want to be part of this big tech censorship.

00:22:16.000 But a lot of their fear

00:22:19.000 Wasn't that related?

00:22:20.000 I think a lot of their fear is we're stealing money and we've gone from a noble group that was fighting the KKK many years ago to a wildly corrupt racket that is stealing money by lying and hiding said money.

00:22:43.000 And my money is on the Attorney General starting to investigate them and opening up their books.

00:22:54.000 And that is why Morris Deas and Richard Cohen and Rhonda Brownstein are gone.

00:23:01.000 I bet they're all hiding their money right now, burying it in big chests in the backyard, because this is going to be big.

00:23:10.000 And the mainstream press is writing about it.

00:23:13.000 I don't see my goddamn name anywhere.

00:23:15.000 How about just... even sometimes they'll mention other people, like the Family Research Council and Majid Nawaz.

00:23:26.000 And I don't get a goddamn shout-out.

00:23:29.000 Okay, so sorry.

00:23:31.000 This is whole things.

00:23:31.000 I wanted to catch up with the mail today, but I can't stop blabbing about this So so Richard Cohen's first allegation was that I called Cory Booker Sambo and I said a kind of Sambo and I think got a good point to He said that I said Richard Spencer Sounds kind of reasonable when you first meet him What the fuck's the matter with that?

00:23:54.000 Everyone sounds, Louis Farrakhan sounds reasonable.

00:23:58.000 I bet Jeffrey Dahmer, the cannibal, sounded pretty reasonable.

00:24:04.000 The reason why you would say that is because somebody is, you would consider them unreasonable.

00:24:09.000 Yeah, good point.

00:24:09.000 You know what I mean?

00:24:10.000 Yeah, you don't say that Oprah seems reasonable when you first meet her.

00:24:15.000 Wow, yeah.

00:24:16.000 Yeah, Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood seems really nice when you first meet him.

00:24:23.000 Then the real Mr. Rogers comes out.

00:24:27.000 And it's true, Richard Spencer's well-educated and rational about a lot of stuff.

00:24:32.000 And then he says he wants a homeland just for white people.

00:24:36.000 And you go, and I've had him on my show and debated him on this, and I say, that is mental.

00:24:40.000 What are you talking about?

00:24:41.000 Do you mean like cruise ships?

00:24:44.000 What about couples that are black and white married?

00:24:46.000 What about me?

00:24:46.000 Does my wife have to leave?

00:24:48.000 Do my kids have to leave?

00:24:50.000 What insane scenario are you talking about?

00:24:53.000 And he won't answer me, by the way.

00:24:55.000 He just says, well, we've done far more challenging things in our country's past, like the Civil War or something.

00:25:04.000 That's crazy talk.

00:25:05.000 It's ridiculous.

00:25:06.000 But Professor Griff, who Talib Starks has had on his show.

00:25:13.000 Professor Griff of Public Enemy, the rap band, feels the exact same way.

00:25:18.000 But blacks. 1.00

00:25:19.000 He wants seven states.

00:25:21.000 Actually, Griff's theory is kind of more plausible than Richard Spencer's, but equally insane.

00:25:28.000 So, Professor Griff wants seven states, like maybe Florida and the surrounding states, to be designated for black people, and others can't live there.

00:25:39.000 And then again, even with Professor Griff, you say, wait a minute, what about a black and white couple?

00:25:44.000 What about a mulatto? 1.00

00:25:45.000 What about someone who's one-eighth, an octoroon?

00:25:48.000 Can he come?

00:25:49.000 What about someone who grew up in an all-black neighborhood, is white, but is sort of like Cory Booker in reverse, and they have white skin, but they identify with black culture, and they don't feel comfortable around white people?

00:26:00.000 Can that guy come?

00:26:01.000 So you're going to have this whole paperwork bureaucracy.

00:26:04.000 Just leave people alone.

00:26:06.000 If a bunch of black people like an area, it'll work itself out. 1.00

00:26:10.000 They can stay there.

00:26:10.000 No one's going to ban them.

00:26:13.000 So that was a dumb criticism.

00:26:19.000 And Marcus Garvey felt the same way.

00:26:22.000 Remember Marcus Garvey?

00:26:23.000 No, you don't.

00:26:24.000 You don't know anything.

00:26:25.000 I've heard the name.

00:26:26.000 Marcus Garvey, a Garveyist is someone who wants blacks to go back to Africa.

00:26:30.000 So it's kind of like the KKK and radical black people have the same mentality. 0.87

00:26:36.000 And he was very popular.

00:26:38.000 You know, the reggae band Burning Spear have an album dedicated to him.

00:26:44.000 It's very cool.

00:26:44.000 Hold on.

00:26:48.000 It's very cool in this sort of Black Lives Matter, radical Black Panther community to be a Garveyist, which I find amusing because that's the same as David Duke. 0.94

00:26:58.000 And it's also absurd.

00:27:00.000 It was actually tried, right?

00:27:02.000 A bunch of black radicals in the 60s, was it the 60s?

00:27:05.000 They left America and they formed a country in Africa called Liberia.

00:27:10.000 Which quickly turned to shit.

00:27:12.000 Alright, so...

00:27:14.000 I have no problem with that other thing.

00:27:16.000 I've made it very clear that I disagree with Richard Spencer when it comes to white nationalism, and so does everyone sane.

00:27:23.000 I mean, this is my problem.

00:27:26.000 Which this brings me to the other allegation, where I said, Cohen said that I said, this whole idea of white nationalism and white supremacy is a crock, such people don't exist.

00:27:35.000 Now, he does the liberal thing where he finds you some dude in a Klansman uniform and says, oh really?

00:27:41.000 What's this?

00:27:43.000 Yeah, okay.

00:27:44.000 Here's another statement.

00:27:45.000 Voodoo doesn't exist.

00:27:47.000 It's not a thing in America.

00:27:48.000 Oh, really?

00:27:50.000 What's this?

00:27:50.000 And then you show me some witch doctor who like slid a goat's throat and cursed someone in the Haitian community in New Orleans.

00:28:00.000 And New Orleans is full of voodoo shops, right? 1.00

00:28:03.000 You can buy all kinds of fucking dumb chicken bones to cast a spell on someone.

00:28:07.000 It's amazing.

00:28:08.000 You know what I did to my buddy once?

00:28:11.000 He was, I won't say his name, but I worked with him at Vice and he's superstitious and believes in all that stupid hocus pocus.

00:28:18.000 So he goes, can you get me a monkey paw when you're down there in New Orleans?

00:28:22.000 Now it's not a literal monkey paw.

00:28:24.000 It's a piece of plastic.

00:28:25.000 But it's supposed to have powers.

00:28:28.000 So I was busy and I was running around getting wasted and trying to get laid.

00:28:31.000 And then I went, oh yeah, I said I'd get him one of those stupid things.

00:28:34.000 So I jump into some voodoo shop and I say, I need a monkey pawn. 1.00

00:28:37.000 There's a big jar of them.

00:28:38.000 There's like 500 of them.

00:28:41.000 So I pull one out and I pay five bucks for it or something.

00:28:43.000 And then I give it to him when I get back to Montreal.

00:28:46.000 And he goes, um, all right, so what's the deal?

00:28:49.000 And I go, huh?

00:28:50.000 And he goes, well, like, what's the ceremony?

00:28:53.000 What am I supposed to do with it?

00:28:55.000 So I made up something.

00:28:57.000 I said, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:59.000 Okay.

00:29:00.000 So what you want to do, what they told me you have to do is you have to, uh,

00:29:07.000 Put it in water that's as hot as you can possibly handle.

00:29:10.000 Obviously you don't want to burn your fucking hand off, but get the water as hot as you, you personally can handle.

00:29:16.000 So I wouldn't boil it.

00:29:17.000 I would just get it from the tap, but hand burning hot.

00:29:21.000 And then you hold that and you hold it in your hand until your hand cools down.

00:29:25.000 And then you make a wish.

00:29:31.000 So he burnt the shit out of his hand until it looked like a lobster claw and held it.

00:29:36.000 And he wished that Vice would start making serious money.

00:29:41.000 Vice got bought soon after that by an eccentric millionaire and his girlfriend and his mother both got breast cancer.

00:29:48.000 Oh my Lord.

00:29:49.000 So he went, his first reaction of course is that fucking monkey bar.

00:29:56.000 Why did I do it?

00:29:57.000 Right.

00:29:58.000 Why did I give my loved ones cancer just to make money?

00:30:02.000 God damn it!

00:30:04.000 So in Costa Rica on vacation, he walks to the edge of a cliff and he hurls it off the cliff edge and it's dashed against the rocks.

00:30:13.000 This thing, by the way, is like the size of an earring.

00:30:16.000 It's like about as tall as a quarter and a half.

00:30:20.000 No, maybe just a quarter.

00:30:22.000 Oy vey.

00:30:23.000 He took it so seriously that he took it to Costa Rica to ceremoniously do away with it?

00:30:27.000 Correct.

00:30:28.000 Holy turkeys.

00:30:29.000 He did stuff like that all the time.

00:30:30.000 And you thought about that on the fly.

00:30:32.000 You were just like, uh, let me see, you gotta burn this, alright.

00:30:34.000 Totally and utterly meaningless.

00:30:35.000 In other words, it doesn't exist.

00:30:38.000 Yes, there was Charlottesville.

00:30:39.000 Yes, some teenager drew a swastika on a poster of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

00:30:45.000 As I've said a million times, and I keep sending people these articles, there is no surge in right-wing violence.

00:30:53.000 And what was the other one in the New York Post?

00:30:55.000 That was by David Harsiani.

00:30:57.000 Jonathan Tobin.

00:30:59.000 No, there's no Trump-fueled surge in anti-Semitism.

00:31:02.000 And all you have to do to check this is look around.

00:31:08.000 Like, when was the last time someone was talking about goddamn Negroes coming in here? 0.99

00:31:13.000 Fucking doing their shit, listening to their rap music.

00:31:17.000 No thanks.

00:31:19.000 Oh great, I just googled, I just clicked on my computer and it says, Judge Rules Omar Khadr's war crime sentence has expired.

00:31:26.000 This is how we treat a terrorist who tried to murder the Canadian and American military men who were trying to save him after he tried to kill them.

00:31:35.000 He knocked out one guy's eye

00:31:38.000 And Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada, rewarded him with 10 million dollars for the inconvenience of being arrested.

00:31:45.000 Amazing.

00:31:45.000 Why do I check the goddamn news?

00:31:49.000 That was a big mistake.

00:31:52.000 So yeah, those were Richard Cohen's three attacks, and I stand by them all. 0.74

00:31:57.000 Cory Booker's a white dude.

00:31:59.000 White supremacy is not a thing.

00:32:01.000 Now obviously when you say such people don't exist,

00:32:05.000 Finding one person does not refute it.

00:32:08.000 When I say voodoo doesn't exist and you find me a scene in New Orleans where they have plastic monkey paws, you're not disproving what I said. 1.00

00:32:17.000 It's implied when you say something doesn't exist.

00:32:20.000 It's implied of any consequence.

00:32:24.000 You know?

00:32:24.000 Yeah.

00:32:25.000 Like skateboarding dogs aren't a thing.

00:32:28.000 I realize there's probably three and they were on.

00:32:28.000 Yes.

00:32:32.000 That's incredible.

00:32:33.000 That doesn't mean that dog skateboarders are a thing.

00:32:36.000 Or if you started a company that was marketed towards skateboarding dogs, you'd make any money at all.

00:32:42.000 But there's little booties.

00:32:45.000 They're skate shoes for dogs.

00:32:47.000 They're available to three dogs.

00:32:51.000 All right, so that's me getting it off my skin.

00:32:55.000 I think someone sent me this, they sent me that list before doing an interview saying, we're going to be attacking you with all of these things and you're going to have to defend yourself.

00:33:10.000 And the reason I brought that up too is to say, when James O'Keefe was talking about a 12 hour deposition and how harrowing it is, I thought, yes, please bring it on.

00:33:18.000 Like what you would do with something like that is you'd say, what's the context?

00:33:22.000 And then they'd have to spread back and you'd say, no, no, give me more context until they'd have to give you like the 10 minutes that came from and the 10 minutes would be totally reasonable.

00:33:32.000 Or it would be a joke.

00:33:35.000 So yes, bring on the deposition, please.

00:33:38.000 I can't wait.

00:33:39.000 And it'll be a great story too.

00:33:41.000 Good content.

00:33:42.000 What are you doing?

00:33:45.000 I hope you're not asking me.

00:33:47.000 Who else am I asking?

00:33:48.000 I know, I'm just afraid to answer the question.

00:33:51.000 What are you doing?

00:33:55.000 I'm coloring a picture of Buzz Lightyear.

00:34:00.000 He made a great speech at college.

00:34:02.000 No, he did not.

00:34:05.000 My youngest kid is six.

00:34:07.000 If I asked him to color a picture of Buzz Lightyear, he'd say, why?

00:34:12.000 Because he's too old.

00:34:15.000 To be coloring a picture of Buzz Lightyear.

00:34:18.000 Have you noticed my background is Buzz Lightyear as well?

00:34:20.000 So you're a Buzz Lightyear fan?

00:34:22.000 Just all of a sudden, ever since you attribute my stupidity to that of the Buzz Lightyear quote, that's the epitome of my... Yeah, I'm embracing it.

00:34:35.000 Don't embrace it.

00:34:37.000 Don't embrace that.

00:34:41.000 Alright, so...

00:34:43.000 Let's try to get into this mailbag, shall we?

00:34:45.000 Oh man, okay.

00:34:47.000 I have 950 billion messages.

00:34:54.000 An amazing amount.

00:34:55.000 It's an inbox ruiner.

00:34:58.000 You know Tucker, maybe I shouldn't speak out of turn, but Tucker Carlson doesn't have email anymore.

00:35:05.000 I just couldn't take it anymore.

00:35:07.000 It's true, I spend the first third of my day going through all this shit.

00:35:11.000 I just ignore it and I don't care.

00:35:14.000 Like I'll look at some of them that catch my eye, the subject catches my eye, and I just can't find myself to give a fuck.

00:35:22.000 Well, we'll go through some of those too, but I'll make them super quick.

00:35:25.000 All right.

00:35:26.000 So that is the story in the SPLC.

00:35:28.000 If anyone brings it up in a bar, please say, yeah, that was Gavin McInnes is doing.

00:35:33.000 He's the one who shut them down.

00:35:35.000 And the fun part about this is I haven't even begun.

00:35:38.000 Like, they delayed it 60 days.

00:35:39.000 We're still in those 60 days.

00:35:41.000 So we haven't brought the hammer down.

00:35:42.000 We only have the first half of the complaint.

00:35:44.000 We don't have the Attorney General investigating them.

00:35:46.000 The Attorney General of Alabama is likely going to bring down the hammer on them.

00:35:53.000 That's a criminal investigation.

00:35:55.000 You can quit.

00:35:56.000 You can be fired.

00:35:58.000 You're still going to be criminally liable.

00:36:00.000 And you know what's going to happen, by the way?

00:36:01.000 They're going to deteriorate.

00:36:03.000 They're going to be exposed.

00:36:05.000 They're going to try to come back.

00:36:07.000 As a hodgepodge sort of bric-a-brac rickety rack jalopy version of themselves with much less money after paying out all these people and Tina Chen's gonna be running it and all these other people with good reputations and they'll fire everyone in the past and people go to jail.

00:36:26.000 And they'll be exposed.

00:36:28.000 And they'll have to, you know, pay all kinds of fines.

00:36:32.000 And I won't get credit for it.

00:36:34.000 And that'll be the end of that.

00:36:35.000 And they'll move on to the Anti-Defamation League or some other stupid racket.

00:36:40.000 Oh well.

00:36:41.000 You can't do it for the notoriety, folks.

00:36:43.000 You have to do it because you're doing what's right.

00:36:48.000 Okay.

00:36:49.000 So.

00:36:51.000 Best cry ever guy died.

00:36:54.000 Yes.

00:36:55.000 Now, this was a guy, a black guy from the show Intervention, and he would not been there for his, uh, do you have his cry?

00:37:02.000 Wait, is there another part to it?

00:37:15.000 Uh, there's the part before where he's like, I still love you!

00:37:19.000 Oh yeah, that whole family was really hamming it up that episode.

00:37:23.000 Even the sons and stuff.

00:37:25.000 It just seems so insincere, because I've known people with junky or alcoholic dads, and they're just totally flippant about it.

00:37:32.000 Their attitude is, yeah, that guy's a dick, he's a loser.

00:37:37.000 It's like you said about your mom.

00:37:39.000 You go, yeah, I don't care about my mom.

00:37:41.000 I love you more than my mom, and I don't care if you die right now.

00:37:50.000 So thank you for letting us know that.

00:37:52.000 That's very, very... My wife, she cares when people that are famous die.

00:37:57.000 Like she bawled her eyes out when Prince died.

00:37:59.000 I was very sad when Stephen Brody Stevens died.

00:38:01.000 This whole weekend I was watching his stuff.

00:38:04.000 Really?

00:38:04.000 Yeah.

00:38:05.000 When I read it I was like, oh no, oh no.

00:38:07.000 I said that out loud.

00:38:08.000 He hanged himself because he was depressed, like all comedians, and they get up on stage and they tell you why you're wrong and why life sucks.

00:38:18.000 He was different.

00:38:19.000 Well, he was very positive.

00:38:20.000 He was very weird, yeah.

00:38:21.000 Yes!

00:38:21.000 Positive energy!

00:38:23.000 Why do you do that?

00:38:25.000 Yeah.

00:38:26.000 But anyway, he was switched on to Lexapro and that fucked him up.

00:38:30.000 I blame the Lexapro.

00:38:32.000 No.

00:38:33.000 No?

00:38:35.000 Well, maybe.

00:38:35.000 He was trying to do the right thing and just fix it.

00:38:39.000 Gavin, just wondering what your thoughts are.

00:38:40.000 This is from Louis.

00:38:43.000 Louis O'Neal.

00:38:43.000 What are your thoughts on the voting system on one's IQ so that higher intellect people have more power to vote?

00:38:50.000 No, I'm not into that.

00:38:52.000 I don't like stupid as an insult.

00:38:55.000 Most of my best friends are stupid.

00:38:56.000 Now, there's... I was thinking about this today.

00:38:59.000 There's boobs, like Justin Trudeau, who's basically Jeff Spicoli.

00:39:04.000 I might like Justin Trudeau.

00:39:05.000 My fucking brother went camping with him, and he was the dummy of the group, who was worried about their carbon footprint when they started a small fire for their campsite.

00:39:16.000 That's all true.

00:39:18.000 It's Trudeau.

00:39:24.000 But running a country and deciding if young men die in wars?

00:39:27.000 No, thank you.

00:39:29.000 So, I don't know if I... No, I don't think high IQ people should vote or be exclusively allowed to vote.

00:39:35.000 Also, us dummies are in the same country as you.

00:39:38.000 We should have some say.

00:39:39.000 No, there's a million reasons why that's a dumb idea.

00:39:42.000 It's sort of like when people say, hey, you need a license to drive a car.

00:39:45.000 Shouldn't you have a license to have kids? 1.00

00:39:47.000 Yeah, who's going to be monitoring that?

00:39:49.000 The government?

00:39:50.000 No, thank you.

00:39:51.000 Just nosy people?

00:39:54.000 Jaden Lawrence, the last podcast was the worst one!

00:39:57.000 Holy turkeys.

00:39:59.000 But it's a clickbait subject header.

00:40:02.000 He's reeling us in.

00:40:04.000 Oh, he did the same thing that we did.

00:40:06.000 Yes.

00:40:07.000 Hilarious.

00:40:07.000 Not because of your content, which was very interesting and eye-opening as it usually is.

00:40:11.000 See, us fans can be clickbaity as well.

00:40:13.000 But because of that dumb cunt's accent. 1.00

00:40:15.000 Good lord, I could not stand it.

00:40:17.000 Made me want to walk into traffic.

00:40:19.000 That elitist drawl and how she kept saying McGannis.

00:40:23.000 Now that gentleman is, this is an old letter.

00:40:26.000 He's talking about Jill Abramson, the executive editor of the New York Times.

00:40:29.000 Who says in the Rubicon of Truth is Always Stranger Than Fiction, McGinnis started a white nationalist gang and was recently arrested in New York City for trying to fuck a dead

00:40:53.000 Dog that was in the middle of the road, which is false.

00:40:57.000 It was alive.

00:40:58.000 Okay.

00:41:00.000 It was dead to me because we're never speaking again.

00:41:03.000 Cause you came and I don't love it.

00:41:09.000 That'd be funny if back in your one night stand days, if just as she's leaving, she goes, you go, Hey, Hey, you're dead to me. 0.99

00:41:17.000 For no reason actually one time dude there was this chick in Montreal that I was not interested in I thought she was boring and I don't know how our first kiss happened, but I was walking her home. 1.00

00:41:30.000 I think and we kissed for some stupid reason and

00:41:34.000 I remember I said she lived with a baby, because her friend had a baby, and I go, what's it like living with a baby?

00:41:39.000 We were probably 24 or 5 at the time.

00:41:42.000 And she goes, oh my god, it's so cool because you come home and the baby looks at you and you're like, you know me!

00:41:53.000 And I just thought, this bitch has got to get the fuck out of my life. 1.00

00:41:57.000 So, as we're walking, we make out for some reason, and it's the craziest thing ever, dude.

00:42:04.000 Fireworks!

00:42:05.000 What?

00:42:07.000 It was like being on MDMA.

00:42:09.000 I'm such a retard, I thought you meant fireworks started going off by coincidence.

00:42:13.000 You're so exhausting.

00:42:15.000 But it was that good, though?

00:42:16.000 It was insane!

00:42:19.000 It was like doing a bump of coke.

00:42:21.000 It was the weirdest thing.

00:42:22.000 I've never experienced it, really.

00:42:25.000 And so we go back and we fuck.

00:42:26.000 And I don't think she was experiencing it the same way I was, but I think a lot of women, when you're seducing them, are like, wow, this guy seems really into it.

00:42:33.000 And that's what they pick up.

00:42:34.000 Yeah.

00:42:36.000 At least I'm not going to be, you know, thrown to the curb after.

00:42:39.000 Like, at least this guy

00:42:41.000 It's kind of hard to explain because we're talking about something that you'd have to be a woman to understand. 1.00

00:42:45.000 But I remember women have said this to me in the past, like one of the reasons I took you home is because you just seem so into it. 0.93

00:42:50.000 That I thought you'd probably do a good job.

00:42:54.000 They want to be loved and appreciated.

00:42:56.000 Right, like to say do a good job is misleading because it implies like a woman really wants you to rub one out. 0.99

00:43:02.000 I knew you'd pay attention to my tits, lick my nipples and stuff, and you know, pay attention to my butthole. 1.00

00:43:08.000 A lot of guys don't pay attention to that.

00:43:09.000 So I took you home because I knew I'd get the full treatment.

00:43:13.000 They're not like that.

00:43:13.000 Like a guy watching his car get cleaned?

00:43:15.000 Exactly.

00:43:16.000 Hey, get the mat, under the mat there. 0.72

00:43:18.000 Exactly.

00:43:18.000 What they mean is love.

00:43:20.000 Way to leave your phone on during a podcast.

00:43:22.000 That was a mistake.

00:43:22.000 Real professional.

00:43:24.000 Is it your girlfriend calling again?

00:43:25.000 No, it's Altoona, Pennsylvania.

00:43:27.000 I think it's a bill collector.

00:43:29.000 There are so many I can't even know.

00:43:31.000 But yeah, go ahead.

00:43:35.000 And now you threw off the whole rhythm of the whole thing.

00:43:37.000 Oh, anyway, so we horse around.

00:43:39.000 It's awesome.

00:43:41.000 And

00:43:43.000 As she's, I leave in the morning, early in the morning, and I'm by the door and she reaches up as though to touch me.

00:43:52.000 And she goes, Kevin, Kevin.

00:43:55.000 And I turned to her and she says, please don't tell anyone that this happened.

00:44:02.000 And I was like, goodbye, my sweet angel.

00:44:06.000 She actually had a boyfriend in town, a local drummer.

00:44:13.000 And we all used to go to this bar called La Biff Tech in Montreal on St.

00:44:16.000 Laurent Street.

00:44:17.000 So he decided he was going to come kill me.

00:44:20.000 This has been happening to me my entire life.

00:44:22.000 Fuck the SPLC. 0.73

00:44:23.000 Since I was a kid, there's always like that dude who was going to kill me.

00:44:27.000 Ashley McClymont, Pat O'Connor.

00:44:31.000 Since grade school, Barry Pablo.

00:44:35.000 So this guy was- but he didn't have the courage, so he came to the bar and I was sitting there and he had his- I was at a table and he was at the bar, but we were right next to each other.

00:44:43.000 So I guess he thinks, I'll get some liquid courage and then I'll kick his fucking ass.

00:44:49.000 So he, uh- wait a minute, what is this letter here?

00:44:56.000 Attorneys at Law?

00:44:58.000 Uh-oh.

00:44:59.000 That's never a good sign.

00:45:00.000 I thought that was a good thing.

00:45:06.000 Paid.

00:45:09.000 What is this?

00:45:09.000 Holy crap, that's a lot of money.

00:45:16.000 Is that good?

00:45:16.000 I don't know.

00:45:20.000 Or bad news.

00:45:20.000 Is that good news or bad news?

00:45:24.000 Oh! 0.60

00:45:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:26.000 It's just my SPLC bill.

00:45:29.000 Oh, I see.

00:45:30.000 It's the lawyers saying you've paid this much so far.

00:45:33.000 That's a lot of thousands!

00:45:40.000 That's tens and tens and tens of thousands of dollars.

00:45:42.000 I think that's the other reason the SPLC cowered is because they realized that I'm not looking to spend $14,000 and get a $10,000 payout.

00:45:48.000 This is not a minute to win it.

00:45:55.000 Anyway, so he gets super wasted and he drinks a whole pitcher of beer, which is a lot.

00:46:01.000 Sure is.

00:46:02.000 I'd reckon it's the size of the pitchers there.

00:46:05.000 It's probably about four pints, five pints.

00:46:07.000 And he finally drinks the whole thing by himself.

00:46:10.000 And then without even turning around, he just goes, yeah, McInnes is a fucking asshole!

00:46:18.000 Yells that at the bar and we're all sitting at the table going, okay.

00:46:24.000 Is that it?

00:46:25.000 It's my name.

00:46:26.000 And then I think he stormed out of the bar after that.

00:46:30.000 Dude, just punch me in the face for fuck's sake.

00:46:32.000 I fucked your girlfriend. 1.00

00:46:34.000 Have some dignity.

00:46:35.000 Grow some balls and smash a bottle on my head for crying out loud. 0.97

00:46:40.000 All right, this is from Chachar Chehan.

00:46:43.000 That's a funny name.

00:46:44.000 Hey immigrants, I understand you're gonna have a funny last name.

00:46:48.000 Name your kids John.

00:46:51.000 You know what I mean?

00:46:52.000 Like Talib.

00:46:52.000 I was saying this to Talib Starks.

00:46:54.000 Why did his dad name him Talib?

00:46:56.000 I think it's because it must be a bummer if you're black and you were part of the cool Muslim movement. 1.00

00:47:04.000 You know what I mean?

00:47:04.000 Like Muhammad Ali and what's the basketball player?

00:47:10.000 Kyrie Irving?

00:47:11.000 No, no, the old school 70s guy.

00:47:16.000 Oh God, why can't you help me once?

00:47:19.000 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

00:47:20.000 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, yes.

00:47:22.000 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and then even later on like Talib Kweli.

00:47:25.000 They have great prices there, by the way.

00:47:27.000 And Mos Def. 0.87

00:47:29.000 Isn't he Muslim?

00:47:30.000 So right up until the September 11th, before we knew what Islam was, wait, what?

00:47:35.000 Did you ever drink there?

00:47:37.000 Where?

00:47:37.000 At the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

00:47:40.000 Yeah, they don't serve alcohol.

00:47:42.000 Right.

00:47:44.000 And it was also the Nation of Islam.

00:47:45.000 I mean, before we knew that they hate Jews and that they think that white people were created in a lab by an alien, a really ugly looking alien, by the way, created white people just to mess with blacks. 0.57

00:47:59.000 That's what the Nation of Islam believes.

00:48:01.000 So before we knew all that ridiculous hocus pocus, they looked really cool with little bow ties and Malcolm X and everything.

00:48:08.000 It makes you stand out.

00:48:09.000 You're different.

00:48:10.000 It's like it's something cool.

00:48:11.000 So it must suck

00:48:12.000 To be a Talib now, now that we totally know Islam and we know that the Prophet's first wife was nine years old and all this other stuff and the gays being thrown off the buildings and all that shit. 0.99

00:48:25.000 You must go, damn it.

00:48:27.000 Why can't I be the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Muslim?

00:48:30.000 Anyway, so if I was named Cheyenne and I emigrated here, I'd name my kid Mike.

00:48:36.000 Hi G-Dog, the problem with that cunt, oh yeah, Merchant of Homos, he's talking again, that's two letters about Jill Abramson, is she said you hired female writers so you can fuck them. 1.00

00:48:47.000 Here's the problem, people never had a business, don't under, people that, and by the way, it's people who, if you're talking about people, say who, not that.

00:48:55.000 Here's the problem, people who never had a business don't understand how it works.

00:49:00.000 I assume you'd pay your writers at least 45k a year along with taxes, insurance, everything else, you're looking around 60k.

00:49:06.000 What are you doing?!

00:49:07.000 That was a mistake.

00:49:11.000 Um... Why in hell a business owner...

00:49:15.000 By the way, the grammar here is... I'm gonna assume it's a second language here.

00:49:19.000 His only goal is to generate equity.

00:49:21.000 Will spend $60K to fuck someone?

00:49:23.000 You just pay a prostitute $500. 1.00

00:49:24.000 Also, when you're a successful business owner, ladies tend to be attracted to you so you don't need to hire a fucking employee to pay them $60K to your cash flow. 1.00

00:49:30.000 Just so you can boner. 1.00

00:49:31.000 The left that hate business don't understand how it works.

00:49:34.000 Because it never opened a business.

00:49:36.000 Well, business business.

00:49:37.000 Dude, your English sucks.

00:49:38.000 I hope you weren't born here.

00:49:39.000 But that's a very good point.

00:49:42.000 Even if you were to hire your brother,

00:49:45.000 There's resentment from the other people in the office.

00:49:47.000 That's one thing this guy didn't mention is, say you were to hire a super hot chick just so you could boner, I don't know why you would do that, A. B, your other business partners are going to hate you for draining the bank account on this whim that you're going to get laid. 1.00

00:50:03.000 I think a lot of lefties who've never run a business, they just assume that you have infinite money.

00:50:09.000 And you don't.

00:50:10.000 Even when you're General Motors, you don't have... it's not like a big Lord of the Rings pile of gold that you can just go in and grab a bunch of gold coins.

00:50:20.000 There's a budget.

00:50:21.000 Everything is accounted for.

00:50:24.000 So, for Jill Abramson to say that we hired women just to sleep with them, and she bases this on the fact that Shane Smith ended up marrying a girl who works there, is just such a flimsy, stupid premise that shows she knows nothing about business.

00:50:38.000 Thank you for that letter, Shachar.

00:50:41.000 Here's Lee S. University of Missouri cop was fired over a Flavor Flav blackface photo.

00:50:49.000 Police officer,

00:50:51.000 At University of Missouri.

00:50:52.000 Wait a minute, is he a police officer or a student?

00:50:55.000 Maybe he's like a guard, you know?

00:50:57.000 No, you're not a police officer there.

00:51:01.000 Yeah, the MU Police Department.

00:51:04.000 Officer Marcus Collins of the MU... Are we giving these campus police too much credit?

00:51:10.000 That kind of trivializes real cops, does it not?

00:51:12.000 A little bit.

00:51:13.000 Yeah, you fight, you have to... What are you worried about students doing?

00:51:18.000 Being late?

00:51:19.000 Like garage cops?

00:51:20.000 Yeah, all you're dealing with is rape.

00:51:22.000 You're not gonna get shot.

00:51:24.000 Anyway, yeah, Flavor Flav.

00:51:27.000 We should do a whole podcast on blackface. 0.94

00:51:29.000 I just found recently Billy Crystal.

00:51:33.000 He used to do Sammy Davis Jr.

00:51:35.000 and he would of course be in blackface.

00:51:38.000 And he somehow skipped, like Jimmy Fallon got in trouble for it, Jimmy Kimmel got in trouble for it.

00:51:44.000 All these people are being discovered.

00:51:45.000 Joni Mitchell used to dress up as a black guy, a black pimp.

00:51:49.000 She had a name for him.

00:51:50.000 And she'd dress like him at parties and stuff.

00:51:52.000 I think she was sick of being recognized because she was famous. 1.00

00:51:57.000 People have been doing this forever, and yes, it's often disrespectful.

00:52:02.000 Sometimes, believe it or not, it's irreverent, and sometimes it has nothing to do with America.

00:52:05.000 All over Europe, they have blackface traditions, like Black Pete, which is Santa's helper in, I think, Amsterdam. 0.99

00:52:16.000 Or the Black and White Minstrel Show was the most popular show in Britain when I was a kid.

00:52:20.000 It was not malicious.

00:52:23.000 All right, what else?

00:52:24.000 Don't send me news pieces.

00:52:26.000 I have access to the news.

00:52:28.000 Art Nouveau was the name of the character that Joni Mitchell... Oh, his name was Art Nouveau.

00:52:34.000 Yeah.

00:52:36.000 You hear that?

00:52:36.000 The blackface pimp.

00:52:38.000 The hippies in the 70s considered blackface Art Nouveau.

00:52:42.000 Brian McDonald.

00:52:43.000 Hey Gavin, we're the same age.

00:52:44.000 Whatever happened to the code never being a tattletale?

00:52:47.000 When we were kids, ratting out to a grown-up was considered the lamest, weakest thing you could do.

00:52:51.000 It was like the kid's version of Omerta, right?

00:52:54.000 Now, tattletailing is the single organizing principle of the left.

00:52:57.000 It's like every kid you hated has made it a positive value instead of being the shameful act it should be.

00:53:02.000 Excellent point, Brian.

00:53:04.000 Yeah, and you know what I've noticed too is military guys ratting out their fellow military guys for being proud boys.

00:53:12.000 This one guy was wearing the black and white Fred Perry, and they were sitting having beers, and he said something like, venerate the housewife, and he said, you're starting to sound like a proud boy, and he says, I am.

00:53:21.000 And then that night, or maybe the next day, the guy that he said that to went and reported him to his superior officer.

00:53:30.000 Now the thing that sketches me out about that is, aren't you supposed to go to war with these guys?

00:53:36.000 Like, aren't you supposed to jump on a landmine for this person?

00:53:40.000 But you rat him out for being the member of an SPLC hate group?

00:53:46.000 Isn't that fucked up?

00:53:49.000 Here's the rules with tattling.

00:53:51.000 This is the rules for all things, actually.

00:53:53.000 You ready?

00:53:54.000 You never jeopardize a man's family,

00:53:59.000 Relationship, no, family, home, or job.

00:54:04.000 So, here's family.

00:54:06.000 Family includes relationship.

00:54:08.000 So say you're, this is a very meek, minor one, but it still works.

00:54:14.000 Say you smoke a lot, and your girlfriend doesn't know you smoke, and your buddy says something to your girlfriend that rats you out for smoking, and she's pissed.

00:54:24.000 You just jeopardized that guy's relationship.

00:54:27.000 That's fucked up.

00:54:28.000 That guy should never speak to you again.

00:54:30.000 That's an X as far as I'm concerned.

00:54:33.000 What about the job?

00:54:34.000 Same thing, you know, rats somehow make some inappropriate comment around your boss or fucks with your job and then your boss finds out and then you could have gotten fired.

00:54:43.000 That's fucked up.

00:54:44.000 That's an X. Never speak to him again.

00:54:46.000 Now the home one, that goes back more to the 1500s.

00:54:49.000 That's an antiquated thing.

00:54:52.000 I just like saying things in threesome, holding on to it.

00:54:54.000 But here's an example of how it could be relevant in 2019.

00:54:58.000 You're having a party at your house, your apartment.

00:55:02.000 And the super comes by to say it's too loud, and your buddy tells the super to go fuck himself.

00:55:08.000 Oof.

00:55:09.000 Now, he's jeopardizing your home.

00:55:12.000 Right.

00:55:12.000 And that's an ex.

00:55:15.000 And those are all forms, the tattletailing is in there.

00:55:18.000 Alright, Timothy Ryan Fernandez.

00:55:22.000 Watched it with Owen last night, blah blah blah, and he plans for another show.

00:55:24.000 Um, fuck off.

00:55:27.000 Yes.

00:55:29.000 This other guy sent me this message twice because he's so convinced it's awesome.

00:55:33.000 And it's a picture of Obama, you've probably seen it before, sitting on a couch very close to a guy with a mustache.

00:55:39.000 He then lists a bunch of reasons why he thinks it's proof Obama's gay.

00:55:45.000 I've heard a lot of these, yeah.

00:55:46.000 Yeah, I don't care.

00:55:48.000 All right.

00:55:50.000 I grew up on Long Island.

00:55:51.000 I know your friend Leslie.

00:55:53.000 She didn't hang out with us too much.

00:55:55.000 Anyway, the thing about all those betas from back in those days is they're all clones of her.

00:56:00.000 Insanely sanctimonious left-wingers.

00:56:01.000 Physically weak, never been in a fight.

00:56:03.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:56:04.000 All right?

00:56:04.000 That's not interesting.

00:56:06.000 This is from Billy Leishman.

00:56:07.000 Love the show.

00:56:08.000 Couldn't help but overhear that you're Scotch-Irish.

00:56:10.000 I myself am also that.

00:56:12.000 So I guess my question for you is, has anyone ever made fun of your name by calling you Grabbin' My Penis?

00:56:17.000 Mm, I saw that one, yeah.

00:56:18.000 That's really funny.

00:56:20.000 Michael Shane.

00:56:22.000 Coming from a military family, my dad was really touch and feel.

00:56:26.000 No, was really touch, and I feel like people growing up around me lack that experience.

00:56:30.000 I think he means tough.

00:56:32.000 So now there's a bunch of pussies entering their mid-twenties. 1.00

00:56:34.000 I got in a fight the other day with some asshole over a road rage, and immediately everyone pulled out their phones and called the cops.

00:56:39.000 Yeah, that really is starting to piss me off.

00:56:41.000 This constantly calling the goddamn cops.

00:56:44.000 These guys went to the police academy, okay?

00:56:48.000 A cardboard person jumped out with a gun.

00:56:51.000 They shot at that person.

00:56:53.000 A cardboard person jumped out and didn't have a gun.

00:56:56.000 They didn't shoot that person.

00:56:57.000 And if they did, they lost points and they would do it again.

00:57:00.000 And practice and practice, figuring out the bad guys to shoot.

00:57:04.000 And you call them because you're on your rascal, like Mary Mobility.

00:57:09.000 You gotta look up Mary Mobility. 0.90

00:57:12.000 And someone walking their dog wouldn't get out of the way?

00:57:16.000 Like some of these cops must get calls where they go, what's the problem here?

00:57:21.000 Like the cop in my neighborhood who was told that someone drove by her house

00:57:30.000 Her friend's house, and she was worried that it made her friend feel unsafe.

00:57:33.000 It's a long story.

00:57:34.000 I won't bother filling you all in on, but... The cop goes, well, I don't understand what the crime is here.

00:57:39.000 Like, you have to name a crime.

00:57:42.000 They're at the point now where they just call the cops when they're inconvenienced, and something didn't go their way.

00:57:48.000 You need a cri- Call the cops?

00:57:49.000 I don't even think cops should be called for fights.

00:57:52.000 When my dad was a young man,

00:57:54.000 When I was a little kid, he'd come home with a broken nose all the time.

00:57:58.000 And it would be because someone wouldn't pick up their dog's shit, or just a dumb brawl, or someone said something rude about my mother while he was in a...

00:58:07.000 Why are you coloring Buzz Lightyear?

00:58:08.000 There's a million colored pictures of him on the internet.

00:58:11.000 What are you going to do with that?

00:58:13.000 I have ADHD, I took an Adderall.

00:58:16.000 I'm multitasking.

00:58:18.000 And I listen so much better when my hands are doing something.

00:58:21.000 I know, but you could have found me Mary Mobility or something.

00:58:24.000 I'm not hiring you to color in Toy Story characters.

00:58:28.000 Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

00:58:30.000 This is the problem with not having a dad.

00:58:32.000 You don't have any shame.

00:58:33.000 I shouldn't be ashamed of this.

00:58:34.000 I'm a proud boy.

00:58:36.000 But not a proud boy.

00:58:37.000 I'm a proud male, is what I mean.

00:58:41.000 Anyway, that's a good point.

00:58:43.000 The real problem here with this next generation is the lack of dads.

00:58:49.000 And I was just on Reddit Cringe and I saw these two guys.

00:58:55.000 One of them was having trouble waking up from his nap in the middle of the day.

00:58:58.000 And then the other one was so fat that while his cat appeared to be being murdered in the other room, you could hear it going, he couldn't really get it together to go look into it.

00:59:10.000 Because he was just too fat.

00:59:11.000 You know these fatties today where their cheekbones are sort of protruding and making them have a different face than their face?

00:59:21.000 There's fat guys that have their face and then the rest of them is fat.

00:59:25.000 Then there's fat guys where the fat is coming up the cheeks and it's changing their whole shape.

00:59:31.000 Like tectonic plates clashing just like pushing more features where there are none usually.

00:59:40.000 Syrian Wilcox, you can now buy a pooch selfie stick that has a squeaky tennis ball built in so you can get the perfect pup selfie every time.

00:59:51.000 Thank you for that.

00:59:52.000 What this reader is showing us, listener, is it's a phone with a tennis ball stuck on the top.

00:59:58.000 So when you pull out your phone to get a selfie, the dog is fixated on the tennis ball and you get a really good dog selfie.

01:00:07.000 Saw this car driving home yesterday and it said, my kid has paws.

01:00:14.000 How is that?

01:00:15.000 Saying it's a dog mom.

01:00:17.000 Gosh.

01:00:19.000 I'm a 32 year old married woman with a dream of soon becoming a stay at home mom.

01:00:23.000 Amanda, your time is running out.

01:00:28.000 Until I get a baby inside me, I'm stuck in the workforce and often have problems with other women out there. 1.00

01:00:32.000 It's tricky directing, delegating, confronting women at work because they're so damn emotional. 0.97

01:00:36.000 I love the way you deal with confrontation, how you confidently take on leadership roles and call out all the bullshit.

01:00:39.000 I admire this about you and want So Badly to be more like that.

01:00:42.000 What advice can you give me that would help navigate the workforce with other women? 0.99

01:00:46.000 It might be helpful to note that I work in a preschool.

01:00:49.000 Here's my advice, Amanda.

01:00:51.000 Lie.

01:00:52.000 Do not tell women like it is. 0.99

01:00:54.000 Do not explain to them that they're incompetent, that they fucked up.

01:01:00.000 You're going to get in trouble and you're going to be accused of being hard to work with.

01:01:04.000 So I think the advice for a lot of women in the workforce is the same with millennials, and that is kiss their ass, tell them they're wonderful, don't be mean to them, and 0.99

01:01:17.000 You constantly sort of become a mommy and hug them and say, you did a great job.

01:01:22.000 I know that sounds ridiculous, but that's what I've learned.

01:01:24.000 I've worked with millennials since there were millennials.

01:01:27.000 And when you say things like, hey man, if you could stay this weekend, we'd pay you double what we usually pay you.

01:01:32.000 Not interested.

01:01:33.000 Money's not an incentive to them.

01:01:36.000 But love is.

01:01:38.000 They need hugs.

01:01:39.000 They need to feel like they're part of a family.

01:01:42.000 And that is remarkably annoying.

01:01:46.000 Why don't you just use the paint bucket?

01:01:49.000 That's whack.

01:01:51.000 Why?

01:01:54.000 It's not fun.

01:01:54.000 Then the whole thing's done in like two minutes.

01:01:58.000 I never understood chores where they didn't have to be done.

01:02:02.000 There's so many things that should be done, like repairs and stuff.

01:02:07.000 I don't understand why you would purpose, like, it's like a sand sculpture or something that you just throw away into the wind when you're done.

01:02:15.000 It's just, uh, but it's, you know, it's your, your passing time with, uh... Can you believe what I have to work with, folks?

01:02:21.000 And this guy can take abuse.

01:02:23.000 You know, my dad always said, and this doesn't apply to you, Amanda, Amanda, you have to kiss their ass and get out of the workforce. 0.99

01:02:29.000 You need to find a man fast. 0.94

01:02:31.000 Come on, Amanda. 1.00

01:02:33.000 Get a man, Amanda. 1.00

01:02:35.000 Here's what you have to do.

01:02:36.000 What do you need?

01:02:36.000 A man.

01:02:37.000 Duh.

01:02:39.000 Um, I might, ladies, if you're listening out there, you may want to try marriage rape. 1.00

01:02:45.000 There's a friend of mine did this.

01:02:47.000 She kept talking about marriage with her boyfriend.

01:02:50.000 And then he said, yeah, I would probably have to use the ring that my grandmother had.

01:02:56.000 It's like a family tradition.

01:02:57.000 I mean, a lot to my mother.

01:02:58.000 She goes, Oh, cool.

01:02:59.000 Let me see it.

01:03:00.000 So he goes and gets it.

01:03:02.000 And the next time they meet, he has it.

01:03:04.000 She grabs it.

01:03:05.000 They've been dating now for like a year and she goes, Oh my God, it's beautiful.

01:03:09.000 Yes, I do.

01:03:10.000 Oh.

01:03:12.000 And the next thing you knew, they were on their way to marriage.

01:03:14.000 I guess that's how that works.

01:03:16.000 Especially in New York, where men will just have options forever.

01:03:19.000 I'm 48.

01:03:19.000 I could probably get a hot 25-year-old.

01:03:22.000 And I look like Donald Sutherland with AIDS.

01:03:25.000 So the only way you can get a man is just to make him say shit or get off the pot. 0.51

01:03:29.000 Because if you keep giving the milk away for free, no one's going to buy the cow.

01:03:34.000 And don't be tough on women.

01:03:36.000 Oh yeah, that's what I was going to say.

01:03:37.000 My dad said, you know, I'm not pleasant to work with.

01:03:42.000 I'm very congenial in a social setting.

01:03:46.000 And he is quite a charmer when I bring him to parties and stuff.

01:03:48.000 But as far as work goes, he's a dick.

01:03:52.000 And I'm like that too.

01:03:54.000 I think work is where you have to get the job done.

01:03:57.000 You want to have fun?

01:03:57.000 Let's go out for beers after.

01:03:59.000 But work should not be fun.

01:04:02.000 It's like digging a hole.

01:04:03.000 You have a job to do.

01:04:04.000 There's no tickling.

01:04:06.000 There's no giggling.

01:04:07.000 You can make some, you know, insulting quips to help alleviate the tension sometime, but for the most part, it should be hard.

01:04:14.000 You should not be coloring Buzz Lightyear.

01:04:16.000 Don't you have anything important to do?

01:04:18.000 Well, I was lining up the footage before, so I did all that.

01:04:21.000 I lined up the audio to the video, but now I'd have to listen, so nothing that wouldn't obstruct the thing.

01:04:28.000 Well, you haven't helped.

01:04:29.000 You got Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, but it was late.

01:04:32.000 And then, yeah, I got the Art... Joni Mitchell's alter ego.

01:04:38.000 Art Nouveau.

01:04:39.000 All right, Jeff Williams.

01:04:40.000 This is exciting.

01:04:41.000 I pulled this one up, too.

01:04:43.000 Ready for this one?

01:04:45.000 The issue I am presenting to you is a case of my client who did not will fortune to any next of kin.

01:04:52.000 I am now faced with who to pass the fortune to.

01:04:55.000 It involves a time deposit of US $9.3 million?

01:05:00.000 Holy turkeys.

01:05:01.000 Oh my god.

01:05:03.000 The circumstances surrounding the death of the depositor with no known nominated successors made it difficult to locate anyone who is directly related to the deceased.

01:05:09.000 The strategy is to use my position as his attorney to present you, meaning me, as next of kin and beneficiary of the time deposit for capitalization to your account and sharing amongst us.

01:05:22.000 I expect your response and shall provide further details.

01:05:25.000 I shouldn't be reading this out loud.

01:05:28.000 Is this Nigerian scams? 1.00

01:05:30.000 No, dude.

01:05:31.000 I am about to get 9.3 million.

01:05:34.000 Sheesh.

01:05:35.000 Wow.

01:05:36.000 And that's from a fan?

01:05:39.000 That is from the attorney of the deceased.

01:05:43.000 It's pretty amazing that you are falling for this.

01:05:47.000 It makes me worried.

01:05:47.000 No, it's spam folder stuff.

01:05:50.000 So, it's JeffWilliams101 at Yandex.com.

01:05:55.000 I looked up Yandex.com.

01:05:56.000 It appears to be a search engine.

01:05:57.000 Have you ever heard of that?

01:05:58.000 Yandex?

01:05:59.000 Nope.

01:05:59.000 Dex.

01:06:00.000 Hmm.

01:06:02.000 It's probably Eastern European.

01:06:04.000 Sounds legit.

01:06:06.000 All right.

01:06:06.000 Matt Mullen.

01:06:08.000 Beginning of the current podcast made me think of this.

01:06:10.000 My brother-in-law's a very wealthy guy.

01:06:12.000 When he's in town, he invites his cousins and friends to meet him at the bar.

01:06:15.000 When you walk in, he asks what you're drinking and gets it for you.

01:06:18.000 Everybody usually starts out with a light beer.

01:06:20.000 Or, sorry, starts out light with a beer.

01:06:22.000 He won't accept money.

01:06:23.000 He says, buy me the next round.

01:06:25.000 Once everybody arrives and gets their first drink, he closes his tab immediately and tells the bartender that everyone's buying his drinks for the night.

01:06:32.000 And he suddenly switches from beer to top-shelf liquor.

01:06:34.000 Oh, fuck.

01:06:35.000 He never spends more than 40 bucks.

01:06:37.000 It's a good, smart trick I'm going to start doing.

01:06:39.000 Good, smart?

01:06:40.000 What a fucking asshole.

01:06:41.000 What are you talking about?

01:06:43.000 Well, that's fair.

01:06:45.000 Is it?

01:06:46.000 Yeah.

01:06:47.000 I'll tell you what though, this weekend my brother was in town and I violated all the downer rules.

01:06:55.000 Almost all of them.

01:06:57.000 Went more than 15 hours.

01:06:59.000 Saturday was...

01:07:01.000 Unbelievable AIDS.

01:07:03.000 Saturday was four hours of walking around.

01:07:06.000 The rest was just crying and moaning in bed.

01:07:09.000 And the worst part was, we went to White Horse Tavern in the West Village, and I sat down at a table with a bunch of people.

01:07:16.000 Some coming, some going.

01:07:18.000 And guess what the bill was?

01:07:22.000 There was about 37 Budweisers included in that.

01:07:25.000 Frick.

01:07:26.000 I had just sat here preaching on this microphone,

01:07:30.000 To young people and saying, don't sit in a big group.

01:07:33.000 And then I sat in a $500 pile of shit.

01:07:36.000 Do as I say, not as I do.

01:07:38.000 And of course it was the woman who didn't pay her share. 1.00

01:07:42.000 I only had a few wines.

01:07:44.000 So I ended up, and I was drinking nothing but bud.

01:07:46.000 I must've paid 150 bucks for those fucking Budweiser's. 0.99

01:07:50.000 Frick.

01:07:51.000 All right.

01:07:52.000 This is from Bogtan Punchkov.

01:07:56.000 I'm a Ukrainian student who's going to intern in Ottawa this summer.

01:07:58.000 Could you do an episode about do's and don'ts of Ottawa?

01:08:00.000 No.

01:08:01.000 Next.

01:08:02.000 What's this one now?

01:08:04.000 Oh, this is a news story.

01:08:08.000 You know what?

01:08:08.000 I'm going to start recording episodes of this show soon.

01:08:11.000 He's talking about Ali, Ozrael Avi, Avi Yemeni, of Australia, who's a Jewish guy, friend of mine, who does videos, and he was interviewed by Jim Jefferies.

01:08:24.000 And Jim Jefferies tried to frame him and make him look like he hates Muslims.

01:08:29.000 And the way Jim did this was he said he hates Muslims and he drew Muhammad.

01:08:35.000 And he said that he doesn't trust them and a whole bunch of anti-Muslim rhetoric, Jim Jeffries said, but Avi was recording it.

01:08:46.000 Now, this is on TR News.

01:08:50.000 You can find Avi Yamini at O-Z-R-A-E-L-I, like Israeli, but from Oz, so it's Ozraeli, Ozraeli Avi.

01:09:01.000 And you can see him, it's his pinned tweet.

01:09:04.000 And I'm worried it's not going to get that much views.

01:09:08.000 It ought to.

01:09:08.000 It only has about 9,000 views, but the comedy show

01:09:15.000 Um, the Daily Show tried to do that, do that to me and duped me.

01:09:19.000 That's what you have to understand when you see these, these, um, when you see these, you know, gotcha shows, they're fake.

01:09:29.000 The person doing it has been duped into saying the evil things.

01:09:35.000 A lot of Bruno was like that, too.

01:09:37.000 Not Bruno, but the most recent Sacha Baron Cohen thing.

01:09:39.000 He had Dick Cheney sign a water bottle that was used to torture someone, to waterboard someone.

01:09:49.000 That was Dick Cheney dealing with a war vet.

01:09:51.000 You don't know if the guy has mental problems, PTSD, so you're nice to him.

01:09:56.000 Or the other ones that Sacha Baron Cohen got was teaching little kids how to use guns.

01:10:03.000 Yeah, that was sort of what he did, but you neglected to mention the part where it was for an Israeli school that had been shot up recently.

01:10:12.000 So people don't know what Israel is like, and they are on the side of caution and say, okay, I guess

01:10:17.000 Little kids are getting shot.

01:10:18.000 Yeah, they should be armed.

01:10:20.000 So that was another scam.

01:10:22.000 You're taking advantage of people who are trying to be nice to someone when they don't know their backstory.

01:10:29.000 And they're not fucking with people, they're doing the opposite.

01:10:32.000 And you're taking advantage of their kindness.

01:10:36.000 That's why I don't like a lot of prank calls, especially to pizza joints and stuff, where some zit-faced teenager is trying to make some money for himself.

01:10:43.000 And you're like, yeah, you shower and I'll show her.

01:10:52.000 Louise Sheehan.

01:10:54.000 I work in a workshop.

01:10:56.000 That sounds kind of worrying.

01:10:58.000 What is it?

01:10:59.000 All female carpenters? 1.00

01:11:01.000 No, thanks.

01:11:05.000 I work in a workshop with three other girls and we listen to your podcast sometimes at work.

01:11:08.000 You gave some solid advice on your recent one, but please don't encourage guys to show off their bulges.

01:11:15.000 Look, we don't have a lot.

01:11:41.000 You have tits. 1.00

01:11:42.000 You have butts. 1.00

01:11:44.000 You have your fucking eyelashes.

01:11:46.000 You have a different outfit on every day.

01:11:48.000 We don't have a lot of places to shine.

01:11:50.000 We can get a fancy watch.

01:11:52.000 We can have a pocket square.

01:11:54.000 We can have a kooky tie.

01:11:56.000 We can have funny socks.

01:11:59.000 And then as far as showing off stuff, we can show off our arms in the summer and our gorgeous legs.

01:12:05.000 But as far as sexual things, all we have is balls.

01:12:09.000 And if you, if you, if we were living in a more sexually liberated time where men weren't seen as disgusting pariahs, you would like a crotch shot.

01:12:19.000 Not dick pics.

01:12:20.000 I'm not that stupid.

01:12:22.000 But back when I grew up in the 70s, women really appreciated men.

01:12:26.000 Like look up that picture of Burt Reynolds in Playboy.

01:12:29.000 His big hairy chest.

01:12:30.000 Not you, Ryan.

01:12:31.000 I mean in general.

01:12:32.000 He's got his big hairy chest.

01:12:33.000 He's holding a football.

01:12:35.000 Women were like, yeah, man, big hairy man is going to fuck me. 1.00

01:12:39.000 Not like some homo with a six pack. 1.00

01:12:42.000 In fact,

01:12:44.000 Men were so sexualized, everyone was sexualized back in the 70s and 80s, but it was so intense that, and this is kind of gross, but as a young man, like as a kid, we thought we were sexy.

01:12:57.000 So we'd be like 10 and we'd have cut off t-shirts with like a coral choker, long feathered blonde hair,

01:13:06.000 Tube socks and in every picture I look at my me and my friends when we were 10 We look like fucking we're in Motley Crue or something like a bunch of whores. 0.99

01:13:13.000 Yeah, like the way we're standing We're just like yeah, you like that.

01:13:16.000 I'm so fucking hot right now It was weird.

01:13:20.000 I know what you mean.

01:13:21.000 Yeah Yeah, like in like the basketball shorts super short like even that show.

01:13:26.000 What is it that camp show?

01:13:29.000 It's that comedy thing with Jeanine Graffalo, Paul Rudd.

01:13:32.000 Wet Hot American Summer.

01:13:33.000 Yeah, like even that, like the style, it's true to that whole like, look at me.

01:13:36.000 And even that movie too, everyone is super sexy.

01:13:39.000 Right.

01:13:40.000 Sex, like that's a little too much, but the pendulum swung too far the other way, and now there's no sex.

01:13:46.000 Mormons.

01:13:47.000 They're Mormons.

01:13:49.000 Okay, we're running out of time here, right?

01:13:52.000 How long have we been chatting for?

01:13:53.000 An hour fifteen.

01:13:54.000 Oh good, perfect.

01:13:57.000 Still barely took a chip out of the goddamn mail.

01:14:01.000 My name's Adam Scarmazino, and I play in a punk rock thrash band called Cosmic Kahuna from Melbourne, Australia.

01:14:08.000 We do pretty well, we toured Europe, Australia with hard-ons, celibate rifles.

01:14:13.000 If you were familiar with punk, you would know that those, I'm talking now by myself, those are the two, the biggest hardcore band in Australia I would say is the hard-ons, and the biggest punk band was the celibate rifles, as far as, you know, going back to the 80s.

01:14:27.000 And then he goes, because I was talking about those three bands that got banned in Austin,

01:14:31.000 He says the the level at which bands are getting banned in Australia has truly reached mega clown world proportions.

01:14:39.000 It would be funny if it wasn't completely ruining the live music scene.

01:14:43.000 It started with silly comic book slasher type death metal bands like Hortopsy having their shows cancelled because they have a scary name and violent lyrics that incite violence against women.

01:14:55.000 This happening, of course, after the show was sold out and thousands of dollars were spent on promo, and ignoring the fact that plenty of women bought tickets. 1.00

01:15:03.000 Then, it extended to gig flyers, album art, etc.

01:15:07.000 Some punk band was banned because they had a swastika on one of their EPs from 1978.

01:15:14.000 Which was just part of a collage of gnarly images, like Sid Vicious used to wear.

01:15:19.000 I'm talking by myself now, right?

01:15:20.000 And all the bikers would wear swastikas back in the 70s, like there was a Bronx gang called the Chingalings. 0.69

01:15:27.000 I think they still have a swastika on their logo.

01:15:29.000 Back then, in the 70s and early 80s, a swastika just meant, fuck you.

01:15:34.000 I'm bad.

01:15:36.000 It didn't mean I deny the Holocaust. 0.99

01:15:40.000 Okay, back to the letter.

01:15:42.000 But the biggest, most insane, ridiculous kicker of all was the hard-ons, which I think they're Asian, being called out and chastised for being racist for touring with pub rock legends Rose Tattoo because Angry Anderson criticized Islam a few years ago. 0.51

01:16:03.000 Fun little side note, folks, Angry Anderson was the guy from, uh,

01:16:11.000 Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, who gets his feathers shot off by Mad Max.

01:16:16.000 Right?

01:16:18.000 I don't know.

01:16:19.000 I found this article, though.

01:16:22.000 You wanna hear that kid's band, Cosmic Kahuna?

01:16:24.000 Sure.

01:16:33.000 Okay, we're good.

01:16:34.000 It's called Stay in the Garage.

01:16:35.000 Yeah, Angry Anderson is the singer of Rose Tattoo, and he was the bald guy in Mad Max who had that mask over his head that had the long hair.

01:16:44.000 Such a cool costume.

01:16:46.000 God, that movie was cool.

01:16:48.000 You know, when we were in high school, we used to rent them all, all three, and stay up all night watching them.

01:16:53.000 First one is kind of plotless.

01:16:56.000 It goes on forever.

01:16:57.000 Anyway.

01:17:00.000 So, Angry Anderson criticized Islam.

01:17:03.000 So you can't tour with them now?

01:17:06.000 If the singer said something?

01:17:07.000 This is like that NASCAR guy who got in trouble because his father used the n-word in the 80s.

01:17:15.000 Yeah, the Hardons are three dudes and one of them's Asian. 1.00

01:17:20.000 But they're racist because they toured with a band whose singer said a rude thing a long time ago.

01:17:26.000 Anyway, back to the letter.

01:17:27.000 So where we're at now is young white lefty cunts in their 20s and 30s calling a band made up of a Korean and Sri Lankan immigrants white supremacists.

01:17:35.000 I'm pals with Hard On's bassist Ray On, who has told me crazy stories about having to deal with actual Nazis at shows in the 80s.

01:17:43.000 But now he's a Nazi and naturally finds the whole thing pretty upsetting. 0.74

01:17:46.000 I won't even get into diversity quotas and false rape accusations, otherwise this letter will go on forever.

01:17:51.000 Yeah, that's another thing, by the way.

01:17:52.000 Now it's me talking.

01:17:54.000 When I was a young punker in the 80s, fucking Nazis were everywhere.

01:17:59.000 Nazis made up Nazis. 0.80

01:18:02.000 I'm talking about Nazi Nazis, with swastikas tattooed on their fucking bodies.

01:18:08.000 And they would beat the shit out of us.

01:18:11.000 And they had, they were Nazi skinheads with 14-hole Dr. Martens and red suspenders and weapons. 0.81

01:18:19.000 They were homeless.

01:18:20.000 They had no families.

01:18:22.000 They had nothing to lose.

01:18:23.000 And they would come to shows and they'd stand on the edge of the pit and punch people in the head.

01:18:28.000 They'd come to our homes and hit us with baseball bats.

01:18:31.000 I sound like I'm reading this from something.

01:18:33.000 But yeah, it was harsh.

01:18:34.000 I remember one time we were at a, we were at a party and about 10 skinheads came in with baseball bats, smashed the shit out of everyone, including Aiden Gert, who hasn't quite been the same since, and girls running up the stairs, smashing them.

01:18:48.000 Then they went out the back and the car had circled the block and they went through the another property and then boom, they were on the, uh, back in the car and they're off.

01:19:00.000 Anyway.

01:19:03.000 One thing I can never wrap my head around is when I tell my friends and colleagues that all this censorship is exactly the same as Tipper Gore in the 80s with the PMRC cultural conservatives and all that.

01:19:13.000 You simply can't compute it all and just give me a blank stare and say something about white privilege.

01:19:17.000 Everything Tipper Gore was saying in the 80s is being parroted by the majority of the punks in Melbourne today.

01:19:22.000 Tipper Gore is basically Sid Vicious of 2019.

01:19:29.000 And then he just has to throw this in.

01:19:31.000 P.S.

01:19:31.000 Budweiser is not the king of beers.

01:19:34.000 It's for fags. 0.74

01:19:36.000 American beer is like having sex in a canoe fucking close to water, which by the way is our joke Australian person Find some Victoria bitter or Melbourne bitter blah blah blah. 0.52

01:19:47.000 Don't tell me how to drink beer Greg Johnson Dude, you were so lucky lucky to be happily married I just reentered the online dating world and Jesus Christ the amount of trannies and deceptive land whales is overwhelming I think it's even worse for me as I'm in Minneapolis and this town is essentially the Portland of the Midwest 1.00

01:20:06.000 Nope.

01:20:06.000 No.

01:20:27.000 Well, we did something for my friend's show where we pretended to be women to catfish guys.

01:20:33.000 Then we had them call in thinking I was a paraplegic Asian.

01:20:36.000 So I look like a normal girl, but my body's not functional.

01:20:41.000 And they called in and I would be like, all right, so you want to meet up?

01:20:44.000 And they're like, yeah, I'll meet up with you.

01:20:46.000 And they would agree to do anything with this paraplegic girl. 0.62

01:20:52.000 Gross.

01:20:53.000 Yeah.

01:20:54.000 So besides that, no.

01:20:55.000 What do you think, every time I ask someone this, they sort of go, meh.

01:20:59.000 What do you think about a guy, a six foot tall guy, dating, falling in love with a midget? 1.00

01:21:05.000 Creepy.

01:21:07.000 Now, isn't that fucked up to tell that midget she can't love? 1.00

01:21:11.000 No.

01:21:12.000 It's just like, be reasonable.

01:21:18.000 Love has boundaries.

01:21:20.000 I think it's the gross.

01:21:21.000 You think it's the gross?

01:21:23.000 I think it's the gross.

01:21:23.000 I think the difference in age, difference in size.

01:21:26.000 Age?

01:21:26.000 I never said age.

01:21:28.000 No, I know, but I'm saying, I'm listening.

01:21:29.000 Oh, I see.

01:21:30.000 Difference in age, difference in size, skin color.

01:21:33.000 Just kidding.

01:21:34.000 So she can date like a five foot tall guy like you? 1.00

01:21:38.000 I think, wait, you said like six foot something, right?

01:21:41.000 And then like a four foot something.

01:21:42.000 What about a 5'11 guy and a midget girl? 1.00

01:21:45.000 They're both in high school.

01:21:46.000 She has blonde hair.

01:21:46.000 I saw this on that midget show.

01:21:48.000 Like Little People something. 0.81

01:21:50.000 Oh, she's a midget. 1.00

01:21:51.000 Actual midget? 0.99

01:21:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:21:52.000 Yeah, she's fine.

01:21:53.000 She can do whatever she wants.

01:21:53.000 What did you think I meant?

01:21:55.000 Like just a very small, short girl. 0.99

01:21:59.000 Okay.

01:22:00.000 But a midget, yeah, of course. 1.00

01:22:02.000 But isn't it kind of weird that he's attracted to something that resembles a child so much?

01:22:06.000 Maybe he just likes her for who she is.

01:22:10.000 And she just so happens to be tiny. 0.99

01:22:13.000 Yeah, but, okay.

01:22:15.000 It would be weird if you fell in love with a woman who had a swastika tattooed on her face.

01:22:20.000 Okay, yeah, sure.

01:22:21.000 That would be very distracting.

01:22:22.000 Yes.

01:22:23.000 Well, isn't it distracting that your girlfriend has a kid's body? 0.99

01:22:27.000 I'm sure a lot of the time it is, actually, yes.

01:22:31.000 Like I saw this couple on the L train once, and she was short, like shorter than you, if you can imagine that.

01:22:38.000 That's not very nice, but go ahead.

01:22:39.000 Like 4'11".

01:22:41.000 It's way shorter than me.

01:22:43.000 It's about you.

01:22:44.000 You without shoes on.

01:22:45.000 I'm 5'0".

01:22:46.000 Yeah, 5'0".

01:22:48.000 That's not true.

01:22:52.000 So she's short, and okay, whatever, people are short.

01:22:56.000 Her boyfriend was about 6'1".

01:22:57.000 Alright.

01:23:00.000 Now, she also had on a baseball shirt that had like the number 11 on it, green sleeves, and then she had on short shorts, like denim shorts that were kind of frayed, but they were very short, and then tube socks, and white chucks, and this is the worst part, pigtails.

01:23:19.000 Oof.

01:23:20.000 Basically, she looked exactly like a little kid.

01:23:23.000 That's a little baby girl, yeah.

01:23:25.000 Isn't that fucked up?

01:23:26.000 Of course.

01:23:26.000 Now, I want her to have a loving relationship, and they're both consenting adults, but like... Something's not right.

01:23:37.000 Yeah, I see what you mean.

01:23:38.000 Because it seems like it's like a cosplay of a child.

01:23:42.000 Exactly.

01:23:43.000 Right.

01:23:44.000 And at the very least, it should distract you.

01:23:48.000 Like I think it's cool someone can fall in love with a guy who's missing an arm, but he looks like an adult.

01:23:58.000 I see what you're saying there.

01:23:59.000 All right.

01:24:00.000 Hey Gavin, you're subdued delivery of my zingers blah blah.

01:24:03.000 I have a band and we're really good.

01:24:06.000 I want you to hear this song.

01:24:07.000 Let's play the song.

01:24:08.000 Tell me if you and Gavin like it.

01:24:15.000 That's Evenflow.

01:24:16.000 Arian McCurdy!

01:24:18.000 Is that not Evenflow?

01:24:19.000 What?

01:24:20.000 That's Evenflow by Pearl Jam.

01:24:23.000 I don't know.

01:24:24.000 Gavin, what are your thoughts on my 600-pound life?

01:24:26.000 It is my favorite show.

01:24:27.000 Thank you for asking.

01:24:29.000 These people complain about their mean parents, thus the need to add several hundred pounds at the age of 15.

01:24:34.000 How life was so hard for them because their grandparents died, blah blah blah.

01:24:36.000 Would love your rant.

01:24:37.000 Thank you, Ari McCurdy.

01:24:39.000 Interesting letter.

01:24:41.000 Yes, there was one recently we watched, a guy named Aaron in Texas, who was up to, I believe, 740!

01:24:49.000 And he was, he eventually did very well.

01:24:52.000 I think he got down to 400.

01:24:54.000 So he lost three me's.

01:24:57.000 Um, but the thing about this guy was his dad was a military dude.

01:25:03.000 And he said, yeah, my dad was really strict.

01:25:05.000 And that's one of the reasons I, I would eat was to alleviate the stress.

01:25:10.000 And that sounds good in a movie, but I was talking to my wife about this.

01:25:14.000 You could say this about so much shit.

01:25:17.000 Like, my friend died when I was 13.

01:25:19.000 He was raped and murdered by this other kid at a neighboring school.

01:25:23.000 I couldn't make a whole intervention about that.

01:25:25.000 Wait, what?

01:25:26.000 Yeah, Trevor Coles.

01:25:27.000 Holy moly.

01:25:28.000 It was 1983 or 4.

01:25:31.000 Sheesh.

01:25:32.000 Uh, I could write a whole thing about that and say, I was never the same since.

01:25:37.000 And my dad was strict.

01:25:39.000 Here's a new theory I have.

01:25:41.000 You know, my uncles were kind of useless pieces of shit.

01:25:45.000 And one of them died.

01:25:46.000 He drank himself to death.

01:25:48.000 And his father, my grandfather, Johnny McInnes, was really hard on him.

01:25:51.000 But maybe when you're like a useless pussy of a kid, your dad seems strict because he's trying to save you. 1.00

01:25:59.000 Now, my grandfather did punch Alan in the face, like the way you would punch a man today.

01:26:04.000 And that's when he was a boy.

01:26:05.000 That does seem harsh.

01:26:07.000 But maybe these tyrannical fathers we keep hearing about are sensing an intense pussy of a son and trying to right the shift by being particularly strict.

01:26:17.000 And then these pussies who were going to be pussies whether their father was strict or not, 1.00

01:26:23.000 It was the dad who was mean.

01:26:24.000 So, I think that the strict cop

01:26:38.000 Every time I look over at this clown, Ryan, he's adding another layer of stars to his colored-in Buzz Lightyear.

01:26:47.000 It looks very good.

01:26:47.000 Like, it's funny we're talking about how millennials are infants and they can't grow up, and he's sitting there trying different hues of galaxy behind Mr. Lightyear.

01:26:58.000 It's certainly an improvement from this.

01:26:59.000 That's stark.

01:27:00.000 It's cartoony.

01:27:01.000 You know, I've been talking to people who work on My 600-lb Life.

01:27:04.000 I've managed to track down the production company.

01:27:08.000 I really want to get Dr. Now, but he'd have to be making fun of his own show.

01:27:13.000 Right.

01:27:14.000 And that's not going to happen.

01:27:15.000 He could probably be light about it.

01:27:17.000 Well, someone had a very interesting idea.

01:27:20.000 Let's just take his shit out of context.

01:27:25.000 So I'll say, I'll be sitting in a chair that'll be like the chair that's in the show.

01:27:30.000 And I'll say, uh, yeah, I was, I was 183.

01:27:34.000 I was trying to get down to 179, but I just was retaining water.

01:27:38.000 And then we cut to him going, why are you, what are you talking about?

01:27:41.000 Why are you lying to me?

01:27:42.000 Oh, from the show?

01:27:43.000 Yeah.

01:27:43.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:27:44.000 That'll work.

01:27:45.000 Like Elizabeth, what's her name?

01:27:46.000 Stuckley did to Alexandria Cortez.

01:27:49.000 Faked an interview.

01:27:50.000 Oh, that was fun.

01:27:53.000 And it's like they can't get mad because it's like built, they know that it's, you know, fake.

01:28:00.000 Clyde always wants to point out that shampoo is an ugly word.

01:28:03.000 Thanks for sending me that fucking message there, dickweed. 0.98

01:28:07.000 Joseph Schulich, my son, said the coolest thing the other day.

01:28:12.000 He's six years old and he goes, Dad, Dad, Dad, you shouldn't call your interviews a show because a show is like gumball.

01:28:22.000 And then my other son goes, Johnny, Gumball's a cartoon.

01:28:25.000 And then Johnny goes, it's the exact same thing, Nimrod!

01:28:28.000 It's the exact same thing, Nimrod.

01:28:34.000 He calls us Nimrod and his other one is Pinhead.

01:28:37.000 Like, he's really good at... Those are classics.

01:28:40.000 He'll kick your ass.

01:28:41.000 Those are classics.

01:28:43.000 He makes his older brother cry.

01:28:45.000 He'll punch him.

01:28:46.000 Oh, shit.

01:28:48.000 Um, this is from Joseph Shulick.

01:28:51.000 Gavin, a few months ago you mentioned a trick used to get women in the mood to dill some fiddle and it went something like saying, I'm calling the cops.

01:28:57.000 These weapons are clearly illegal and slapping their breasts and or ass cheeks. 0.99

01:29:01.000 Last night with the cards stacked against me, it worked like a charm.

01:29:04.000 I've had an eight-month dry spell with women, which is sad considering I'm 20, and somehow found myself in bed with a dying piece.

01:29:11.000 Her boyfriend just died and she wasn't reciprocating with attempts to round third base and head home.

01:29:15.000 It was a very difficult situation.

01:29:18.000 My mick charm and neck-sucking was enough, so I threw the Hail Mary, grabbed the phone, and used your trick. 0.81

01:29:22.000 Needless to say, my wee-wee is still sore.

01:29:25.000 Oh, okay, so you're... This is weird.

01:29:27.000 It's how to pick up chicks when they're nude in bed. 1.00

01:29:32.000 I didn't know that was a thing.

01:29:33.000 I thought we were pretty much good to go once everyone's naked and in bed.

01:29:38.000 I don't remember giving that tip, but I like it.

01:29:41.000 I think, here's a secret, gentlemen, to getting laid.

01:29:44.000 Channel Bill Murray from Stripes in that scene where he's putting the spatula under her butt and he's pretending that, I think he turns on the boiler at one part.

01:30:00.000 You're gonna dig that up?

01:30:01.000 Okay, this is how you get laid. 1.00

01:30:05.000 I don't hear it.

01:30:09.000 Turn it up.

01:30:16.000 He's not gentle.

01:30:18.000 Are they hearing this on the show?

01:30:19.000 Because I'm not.

01:30:20.000 Takes her belt off.

01:30:32.000 He's clearly very horny, but not threatening because there's humor.

01:30:37.000 So just pause it for a second.

01:30:39.000 This is, he's a fucking scientist when it comes to getting laid.

01:30:42.000 So you have to show aggression because it turns women on. 1.00

01:30:46.000 But the last thing you want to do is scare them.

01:30:48.000 So you're aggressively funny.

01:30:51.000 It has to be clear that you really, really want to bone her, bone her.

01:30:55.000 But also if she really, really is against it, then you're just going to walk away and there's no genuine threat there.

01:31:04.000 But there still has to be an air of threat.

01:31:06.000 It's hard to explain.

01:31:13.000 He's making her giggle.

01:31:14.000 He's basically tickling her.

01:31:17.000 And now he's rubbing her with a rolling pin.

01:31:19.000 She's laughing her head off.

01:31:22.000 He's got her blood flowing.

01:31:24.000 Now he's got an ice cream scooper.

01:31:30.000 Kind of hurting her a little bit.

01:31:31.000 And Bill Murray's hideous.

01:31:33.000 Okay, kiss her, you fool.

01:31:35.000 All right.

01:31:36.000 We're running out of time here.

01:31:38.000 We've got to close this up soon.

01:31:39.000 Remember to tell everyone that I shut down the SPLC.

01:31:59.000 Eric Loopersblack sent us this video from The Killers, and it's called Land of the Free.

01:32:08.000 And it's about how much America sucks, and how we're so mean to immigrants, and how we have so many people incarcerated.

01:32:17.000 Oh, what's this one?

01:32:25.000 We've got more people locked up than the rest of the world.

01:32:30.000 Yes, that's true and it sucks and we're against the prison system and especially what welfare has done to the black family in sending innocent, not innocent, but mildly guilty men to prison.

01:32:41.000 We hate the prison industrial complex in this world, I mean in America.

01:32:45.000 But just for the record, we have more locked up in America because China kills theirs. 0.98

01:32:51.000 Venezuela kills theirs. 0.64

01:32:53.000 The Middle East kills theirs. 1.00

01:32:56.000 So, I hate the prison system, but you're doing it wrong, the killers.

01:33:00.000 Anyway, that's an annoying song.

01:33:01.000 Thank you, Eric.

01:33:02.000 William Control.

01:33:04.000 Now remember, this was the guy... I'm going to do a whole video on bands that have been shut down.

01:33:10.000 Okay?

01:33:12.000 I think it's jealous.

01:33:14.000 Jealous dorks who aren't good enough to play an instrument, who wish they were in a band, they just, out of vindictiveness, they want to shut down these bands.

01:33:23.000 So one of them was William Control, and he said his life was shut down.

01:33:29.000 And then I got an email from a guy named Mitch Weiss, and he said, hey man, love your podcast,

01:33:38.000 About this William Control guy, his accusations are legit.

01:33:42.000 My ex-girlfriend's twin sister was fucked by this dude when she was 15 to 16. 0.89

01:33:45.000 No joke.

01:33:47.000 Years later, I found out that this guy was also grooming her sister.

01:33:52.000 That was my girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend at the time, and had been for years.

01:33:57.000 What?

01:33:58.000 First of all, I knew this story was bullshit when I heard grooming.

01:34:01.000 How do you groom a girl for years? 0.82

01:34:04.000 You mean court her for years?

01:34:06.000 What are you talking about?

01:34:08.000 I think that's what that means, yeah.

01:34:10.000 You just stay in their life, just kind of like throw something at them.

01:34:12.000 Yeah, that's not grooming.

01:34:14.000 That's hoping.

01:34:14.000 What is grooming?

01:34:16.000 No, grooming is like what the Pakistani gangs do in Britain. 0.96

01:34:20.000 What is the difference there like what is the you need some sort of inherent power that you're lording over her The fact that you want a boner one day. 1.00

01:34:27.000 Yeah, I'm grooming Eva Mendes right now.

01:34:30.000 Oh, I see.

01:34:30.000 Okay.

01:34:30.000 Let's see if she breaks I know this dude.

01:34:36.000 This is just one dude's word.

01:34:37.000 Anyway, I thought whatever I sent it to the guy and

01:34:43.000 He says to the guy, cool story bro, funny, I've been sober for 19 years and can remember every girl I fucked.

01:34:50.000 And she wasn't 15, she was almost my age.

01:34:53.000 And then, he contacts her.

01:34:57.000 And he says, hey there, I have a question for you.

01:34:58.000 You ever dated a guy named Mitch Vice?

01:35:01.000 And she goes, no.

01:35:03.000 And he goes, this guy is claiming that he dated a girl with a twin sister and I was grooming her and stuff.

01:35:07.000 And she goes, holy shit, people are still trying to go after you about that bullshit.

01:35:11.000 That was 10 years ago.

01:35:12.000 Yeah, that was definitely not me.

01:35:17.000 So then he says, yeah, this is just another example of me being framed.

01:35:22.000 And then the dude Mitch Weiss contacts me and goes, hey man, hitting you up since William reached out to me and set the record straight on some shit.

01:35:29.000 Consider my ass converted.

01:35:31.000 Women are fucking crazy, bro. 1.00

01:35:33.000 Yeah, Mitch.

01:35:34.000 Thanks, man.

01:35:36.000 We, we have a court of law.

01:35:40.000 Ladies, if someone molests you, go to the cops. 1.00

01:35:45.000 Don't destroy his career based on a rumor.

01:35:50.000 I mean, it's one thing if you want to replace the Magna Carta because you have a much better judicial system.

01:35:56.000 All right, I'm all ears.

01:35:57.000 What do you got?

01:35:58.000 But they don't.

01:35:59.000 They have a much worse judicial system and they just shut down these people's lives on a whim for nothing.

01:36:07.000 Isn't that fucked up?

01:36:09.000 How many guys do we know?

01:36:10.000 How many Cale Hartmans? 1.00

01:36:11.000 How many William Controls?

01:36:12.000 How many bands have been shut down because of some rumor that some guy said something?

01:36:18.000 You'd rather have it go to the court.

01:36:21.000 Yeah, well, Cale would love them to take him to court.

01:36:24.000 And also, Charles Johnson pointed out, he said, we sometimes we call this communism and we say this is like, this is like Eastern Europe, but no, Eastern Europe is worse. 0.68

01:36:36.000 I mean, sorry, better.

01:36:37.000 Because they send you on a gulag, and then you come back and your record is expunged.

01:36:45.000 Here, these rumors stick with you forever.

01:36:47.000 Kale will always be known as the rape guy. 0.57

01:36:50.000 He never got a trial, he never got a gulag, he never got his say.

01:36:54.000 That's just who he'll be for the rest of his life.

01:36:57.000 Trial free.

01:36:59.000 And people go, well, you know, that's the free market.

01:37:02.000 No.

01:37:03.000 If the mob is roasting people,

01:37:07.000 Then that's just as bad as the government doing it because you're still unemployed.

01:37:12.000 You're still fucking fired.

01:37:15.000 All right, I gotta go.

01:37:16.000 I've been ignoring a lot of calls.

01:37:18.000 I gotta get on with my life.

01:37:19.000 That includes a lawsuit against the Southern Poverty Law Center for, among other things, extreme corruption.

01:37:28.000 I fought back after they lied about me

01:37:32.000 And said I was a bigot and said my super fun fraternal men's club was a hate group and they got at least 36 members fired.

01:37:42.000 I fought back after that.

01:37:44.000 They laughed in my face, then begged for a 60 day, um, uh, delay.

01:37:52.000 Then the founder was fired.

01:37:55.000 Then the president quit.

01:37:57.000 And then the head of their legal team also left.

01:38:01.000 So it looks like I was right and they were wrong.

01:38:05.000 You're welcome, Liberty.

01:38:06.000 Please go to DefendGavin.com and help me continue to punish these frauds because the SPLC is only the beginning.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 27, 2019

#124 | Can I get some credit for shutting down the SPLC please

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