Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 29, 2019


#135 | So they're coming after Robert Crumb now

Topics
Robert Crumb controversy Tina Chen Jussie Smollett case
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Trump Joe Dirt Tommy Lee Jones Hey Gavin Ryan Robert Crumb Hillary Howard Stern Kate Smith Carl Hart Steve Cuozzo Tina Chen Run Ronnie Run Rodney Dangerfield Archie Bunker Craig Fraser Lea DeLaria Redskins Michelle Hitler and 85 more
#134 | Roseanne just came out as queer #136 | Could you imagine liking Peter Gabriel?

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 7 minutes

Words per minute

162.56

Word count

11,011

Sentence count

1,195

Harmful content

Misogyny

77

sentences flagged

Toxicity

322

sentences flagged

Hate speech

69

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week, the boys talk about the new Robert Crumb movie, Tommy Robinson, and why they don t get things. They also talk about a woman who sang the National Anthem at Yankee Stadium, and the fact that she doesn t have a dad. Also, the guys talk about why they think it's a good idea to vilify people who don't get things, and how to deal with it. And, of course, there's a whole lot of talk about The Who and the Who's new album, and a lot of other things that don't really make sense, but they're good enough that you should know about them anyway. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. This episode was produced, written, produced, and produced by us. It was edited by us, not by our clients. If you have any objections, please reach out to us directly or through the proper channels. Thank you for any amount you can afford to support this podcast through our sponsorships, our social media platforms, etc. We appreciate the support, we really do appreciate it. We really do. Thanks to everyone who has been patient with us over the past few years, we've been working hard to make this podcast a good listen to this podcast. and have given us the chance to be able to make it a good listening experience, and we appreciate the feedback we've gotten over the last few months. - we really appreciate the love and support us throughout the past couple of months. Thank you all of the support we've done so much of late-afternoon thanks you've been kind of a chance to send us out in the past week. in advance of the next few weeks and we're looking forward to the rest of the rest in the coming months. We'll see you in the next couple of weeks, we'll get back in mid-summer and early mid-August and early-August, next month. Love ya'll! - Thank you, thank you, bye! - Tom and bye, bye. xoxo. Sarah Sarah and the gang. Cheers, Caitie,

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 So they're coming after Robert Crumb now.
00:00:04.000 Ryan, of course, runs to the bathroom right when we start the show.
00:00:07.000 This is a thing he has.
00:00:09.000 A compulsion, I think it's insecurity, where he can't commit to anything.
00:00:15.000 So, like, he couldn't leave the house this morning on time.
00:00:18.000 He had to take an Uber to work, which cost him $80.
00:00:19.000 He has no money.
00:00:21.000 He's $12,000 in debt.
00:00:25.000 He's finally paid off the $700 he owed his landlord for busting the door down because he lost his keys.
00:00:31.000 He didn't lose his keys, they were in his girlfriend's jacket, which was his jacket.
00:00:36.000 She was cold so she was wearing his jacket and she didn't seem to notice that his keys were in there, nor did he.
00:00:41.000 Sorry.
00:00:42.000 $700 down the door or when we were going skiing we're leaving the liquor store.
00:00:46.000 We're walking and he goes.
00:00:47.000 Hey, do you want to get a flask?
00:00:50.000 Okay, so then he goes back to get a flask like we can never do the thing You know those kind of people they think they left the stove on or something They just can't it's it's like the opposite of an entrepreneur an entrepreneur says let's take risks.
00:01:03.000 Let's make mistakes and
00:01:05.000 The timid sit back and are scared.
00:01:08.000 And again, it's because he doesn't have a dad.
00:01:11.000 And he never had a dad.
00:01:13.000 Your dad is the one who goes, just try it, boy!
00:01:16.000 Just do it! 0.99
00:01:17.000 Fucking do it! 1.00
00:01:19.000 And your mother goes, be careful! 1.00
00:01:21.000 Wear a helmet! 1.00
00:01:22.000 And your dad goes, don't worry about a fucking helmet, that's stupid. 1.00
00:01:24.000 Helmets are for retards and the mentally ill. 1.00
00:01:30.000 But yeah, they're coming after Robert Crumb. 0.65
00:01:34.000 And it's a perfect example of people that just don't get things.
00:01:38.000 When you hear about a villain like Tommy Robinson or me or anyone, and you're looking into it, don't look at what people are saying about the thing.
00:01:47.000 Look at the actual person's expression in context.
00:01:52.000 And you know, vilifying someone is a big deal.
00:01:56.000 So if you're going to do that, it takes a lot of work.
00:02:00.000 Like sometimes,
00:02:02.000 I don't care, like Pete Townshend I heard was looking at kiddie porn, and then I looked it up on Wikipedia and it said that he was researching for a role where he played a pedophile, and I just thought, meh.
00:02:12.000 Pete Townshend isn't part of my life.
00:02:14.000 I mean, I listen to The Who occasionally, but I'm not bothering with this.
00:02:19.000 I don't care. 0.86
00:02:21.000 I mean, I obviously do care if someone's a pedophile.
00:02:23.000 I don't think I could listen to Michael Jackson ever again, but I never listened to Michael Jackson, so it's not my concern.
00:02:28.000 He's dead.
00:02:31.000 But, um...
00:02:33.000 Robert Crumb was an artist.
00:02:34.000 He is one of the greatest artists of our time by any metric.
00:02:40.000 By sheer talent.
00:02:41.000 Look at his landscapes.
00:02:43.000 Look at the drawings he does of old French homes.
00:02:46.000 Look at his sketchbooks.
00:02:48.000 Base it on that.
00:02:49.000 You don't even have to get into the fact that he revolutionized comics and invented
00:02:54.000 Underground comics.
00:02:55.000 He invented autobiographical comics.
00:02:58.000 Before him, there was, you know, some weird European stuff, but it was mostly, in America, it was superheroes.
00:03:04.000 And he invented something that I would argue is a totally different genre.
00:03:09.000 There's superhero comics and there's alternative comics.
00:03:11.000 They shouldn't be called the same thing.
00:03:13.000 He invented that.
00:03:15.000 And he had some controversial stuff in there.
00:03:18.000 He did a thing on incest, you know, that seemed to be pro-incest.
00:03:22.000 It was just like crazy art, like punk songs.
00:03:26.000 It was meant to be offensive. 1.00
00:03:27.000 He had two of his most controversial ones were when the goddamn Jews run the world and when the effing N's, Negroes, but the worst word, 1.00
00:03:40.000 Take over America, but in both of those cases they were parodying bigotry. 0.99
00:03:45.000 The first one was a mockery of the way anti-semites see Jews and the second one was a mockery of the way racists fear blacks.
00:03:54.000 And it was kind of obvious when you actually spent the time to read them. 0.98
00:03:58.000 They're four pages each and the world that exists with all these black militant Black Panthers taking over the entire world and torturing, you know, your wife and 1.00
00:04:10.000 Are clearly absurd. 0.99
00:04:13.000 But in this day and age, we don't.
00:04:17.000 Look up that, who's that woman who sang the Yankees anthem? 1.00
00:04:21.000 There was a good New York Post article about it.
00:04:24.000 Where this guy, what's his name?
00:04:27.000 He's the guy who said, watch Saturday Night Fever again.
00:04:32.000 The way they portray Italians is shocking.
00:04:36.000 Kate Smith.
00:04:37.000 Kate Smith.
00:04:38.000 Yeah, so she, they played her at Yankee Stadium, the National Anthem.
00:04:42.000 You've all heard this story by now.
00:04:44.000 And look up the New York Post article about her by Antonio Scolarioso.
00:04:49.000 It'll be a recent one.
00:04:53.000 And it's a beautiful song, and she does a great job, and it's iconic.
00:04:57.000 But back in the 30s?
00:05:00.000 What does it say?
00:05:01.000 What's the headline?
00:05:02.000 Well, that was by Joshua Miller something.
00:05:04.000 A different article.
00:05:06.000 But this says, Mayor of Newsy.
00:05:08.000 No, no, no.
00:05:08.000 I wouldn't be looking for something that boring and newsy.
00:05:11.000 It's, it's, I think it was on Sunday, and it was like, um... Uh...
00:05:20.000 Her racist songs?
00:05:21.000 Keep Kate Smith's rendition out of Yankee Stadium? 0.99
00:05:25.000 Racist song?
00:05:27.000 No.
00:05:27.000 You think it's racist?
00:05:28.000 No.
00:05:29.000 No.
00:05:30.000 No.
00:05:30.000 It's basically the author.
00:05:32.000 It's got an Italian name.
00:05:36.000 Antonio?
00:05:39.000 Says that this is only the beginning.
00:05:40.000 We should just dismantle the whole country.
00:05:43.000 Steve Cuozo.
00:05:45.000 Yeah.
00:05:47.000 Yeah, there we go.
00:05:48.000 There we go.
00:05:48.000 Steve Cuozo?
00:05:49.000 Yep.
00:05:51.000 Okay, it says, Yankees' Kate Smith ban could lead to the breakup of America itself.
00:05:57.000 Right.
00:05:58.000 He's being hyperbolic, obviously.
00:06:02.000 Oh, he calls her Kate, that's why it was effing up.
00:06:06.000 It's a really good article.
00:06:08.000 Steve Cuozzo, and again, he turned me on to Saturday Night Fever and how unbelievably racist it is against Italians. 1.00
00:06:16.000 They are retards! 1.00
00:06:18.000 Like, I did a video about this, but the woman goes, you gotta get your shit together, Johnny, or whatever his name is, and he's like, hey, that ain't hard, you just put the shit in the bowl, then you get a potato masher, and you mash, I'm not kidding. 1.00
00:06:30.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:06:31.000 And he has, the father hits him, and he's like, he hits my hair! 1.00
00:06:35.000 I work all night on my fucking hair, and he's hitting me in the hair! 0.99
00:06:39.000 It's way beyond Andrew Dice Clay. 1.00
00:06:42.000 Steve Quozo, great guy.
00:06:44.000 Anyway, he says yes, this woman did sing an offensive song in the 30s called That's Why Darkies Were Born. 1.00
00:06:53.000 And it's a very rude ditty.
00:06:58.000 I don't know if it was... it could have also been a parody of racism.
00:07:02.000 I know that a popular black performer at the time, Paul Robeson, he also recorded it.
00:07:09.000 Now, obviously a black guy recording That's Why Dark is Reborn is a parody of racism, but let's just say it's racist, right? 0.61
00:07:16.000 Her record label makes her do a song.
00:07:18.000 That's the way it is back then. 1.00
00:07:19.000 And it was the fucking 1930s! 0.97
00:07:22.000 I apologize if someone from a hundred years ago appears old-fashioned. 0.99
00:07:30.000 What are you doing?
00:07:32.000 What are you talking about?
00:07:33.000 Do you also hate that food goes bad?
00:07:37.000 Are you shocked when a glass of milk curdles?
00:07:41.000 You know what time is, right?
00:07:43.000 You know what change is?
00:07:45.000 But do we now have to go backwards through time, making everyone perfect?
00:07:50.000 And Steve Cuozzo points out in The Post that Francis Scott Key, who wrote the lyrics to The Star-Spangled Banner, owned slaves.
00:07:56.000 George Washington owned slaves.
00:07:58.000 Should we get him off the bill?
00:08:01.000 Everyone was racist back then.
00:08:04.000 We had a civil war ending slavery.
00:08:06.000 It took a long time to recover.
00:08:08.000 We had the civil rights era.
00:08:11.000 Buchanan summed up all of this greatly.
00:08:13.000 He said,
00:08:15.000 Our behavior was not... He says something like, our behavior was not expected of those to whom the Sermon on the Mount was divine command.
00:08:27.000 We didn't seem very Christian when you look back at a lot of the things we did with the Indians and blacks and slavery and anti-semitism and sexism and homophobia, all of that.
00:08:39.000 Obviously, 1.00
00:08:41.000 We didn't have shoes when we were fucking cavemen! 0.99
00:08:44.000 I don't understand your point! 0.98
00:08:46.000 So he goes on to say Francis Scott Key wrote the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner in 1814.
00:08:49.000 He owned slaves.
00:08:51.000 At least six of them.
00:08:54.000 So we should get rid of him.
00:08:55.000 That's why I was so mad about those statues being taken down.
00:08:59.000 The southern... They were the losers! 1.00
00:09:01.000 You don't have a statue for a loser! 1.00
00:09:02.000 You have a statue to show something. 0.97
00:09:06.000 To show... Should you have a statue of Hitler?
00:09:10.000 Look, China's covered in statues of Mao. 0.99
00:09:15.000 And why does every single fucking argument end up with Hitler? 1.00
00:09:18.000 It's like the abortion argument where they go, Oh, uh, what if she was raped by her father? 0.99
00:09:23.000 You mean all one case in America's history?
00:09:26.000 What are you doing right now?
00:09:28.000 Bumpers. 0.99
00:09:29.000 Okay.
00:09:30.000 You're not tweaking the intro.
00:09:31.000 No.
00:09:33.000 And it's happening with Robert Crumb.
00:09:37.000 So, uh, there was, um, they were, he's been removed from the, the museum in Massachusetts.
00:09:48.000 Um... While presenting the award for Outstanding Artist, the cartoonist Ben Passmore, who is black, asserted that comics is changing.
00:09:56.000 And it's not an accident.
00:09:57.000 He lamented the continued industry's presence of quote-unquote creeps and apologists.
00:10:01.000 That would be me.
00:10:02.000 Then called out the Godfather by name. 1.00
00:10:05.000 Shit's not gonna change on its own. 1.00
00:10:07.000 You gotta keep on being annoying about it. 0.99
00:10:09.000 A while ago, someone like R. Crumb would be outstanding.
00:10:11.000 Yeah?
00:10:15.000 Try to draw a hand the way he draws a hand.
00:10:18.000 He's one of the best artists on earth.
00:10:24.000 The room erupted with boos and booing.
00:10:27.000 And a little while ago, there'd be no boos, Pasmo responded.
00:10:30.000 I wouldn't be up here.
00:10:31.000 Real talk. 1.00
00:10:32.000 And yo, fuck that dude. 1.00
00:10:34.000 The crowd burst into applause. 1.00
00:10:36.000 Now, I shouldn't have actually made the parallels with Katie Smith.
00:10:40.000 Katie Smith sang a racist song.
00:10:43.000 I'm pretty sure.
00:10:45.000 Robert Crumb was not and is not a racist. 0.95
00:10:49.000 Yes, he did depict blacks like with the cannibal Africans with the huge lips boiling someone alive. 0.99
00:10:57.000 That was the way blacks were drawn up until the 60s. 0.99
00:11:02.000 Look at Disney.
00:11:03.000 Disney used to do that with Popeye.
00:11:06.000 It's just the style.
00:11:08.000 Yeah, it's a racist style. 0.88
00:11:11.000 He was having fun with all that when he did the is his like you're looking at a guy who did Incestuous incestual comics about a dad fucking his daughter So you think he was clearly joking about that, but he was serious about everything else The guy is a classical liberal. 0.96
00:11:33.000 He's like Jordan Peterson Dave Rubin And you made him out to a racist because he drew a black guy funny 1.00
00:11:40.000 Because you're a pussy. 1.00
00:11:43.000 That's really what it comes down to. 1.00
00:11:46.000 We have handed over the reins. 0.98
00:11:47.000 The lunatics are no longer running the asylum. 0.98
00:11:49.000 We tried that. 1.00
00:11:50.000 They were trans. 1.00
00:11:51.000 They were too crazy. 1.00
00:11:52.000 Now we've given over society to the pussies. 1.00
00:11:56.000 And pussies can't take a fucking joke. 1.00
00:12:00.000 Luckily, Gary Groth got involved in this. 1.00
00:12:03.000 He's the guy who publishes Fantagraphics.
00:12:05.000 I know you don't care about comics like I do, but...
00:12:11.000 What was it?
00:12:11.000 Gary Groth's, uh... Oh, shoot.
00:12:17.000 Sorry.
00:12:18.000 This is sloppy.
00:12:23.000 Oh yeah.
00:12:26.000 The spontaneity and vehemence of the backlash, Groth says, surprised me.
00:12:31.000 And I guess what also disheartened me was I was pretty sure the vast majority of people booing Krum are not familiar with his work.
00:12:38.000 Perfect.
00:12:39.000 This is what outrage culture is. 1.00
00:12:41.000 They don't talk about the actual work.
00:12:43.000 They talk about someone else's terrible interpretation of it.
00:12:49.000 And...
00:12:52.000 And the spontaneity and vehemence is relevant, too.
00:12:55.000 The same thing happened with me.
00:12:56.000 I was a totally normal guy up until October 12th, and then the midterms were coming and someone high up decided to make me the bad man, and then, boom.
00:13:06.000 My friends are all going to prison, deplatformed on everything, vilified everywhere I go.
00:13:11.000 Bad guy overnight.
00:13:12.000 And you go, wow, you sure hate Otoya Yamaguchi.
00:13:18.000 That's who, that was the night I did the talk celebrating Otayi Yamaguchi.
00:13:22.000 You guys really are into 1960 Japan and the way they treated the socialists back then.
00:13:30.000 No, it's not that.
00:13:31.000 It's fashion.
00:13:32.000 That's what all of this is.
00:13:35.000 It's actually more
00:13:38.000 Shallow than sports.
00:13:39.000 Because you follow your team and you stick around.
00:13:42.000 This is fashion.
00:13:44.000 This is, bell-bottoms are in this year, high-waisted jeans.
00:13:47.000 Actually, it's even quicker than fashion, because I'm fine now.
00:13:51.000 So that was October to November, December, January, February, March, April.
00:13:56.000 I was, so it's six months.
00:13:57.000 Yeah, that's about right for a fashion trend.
00:14:00.000 It's more like a club night.
00:14:02.000 You know when there's like, oh, it's Morrissey night at this bar.
00:14:06.000 And that usually lasts for about six months.
00:14:09.000 That's what it is.
00:14:11.000 That's why it's so spontaneous.
00:14:13.000 Because it's not based on anything real.
00:14:15.000 And these people don't actually care.
00:14:17.000 They don't really feel the way they do.
00:14:19.000 Like I remember recently, Howard Stern was in trouble with Tommy Lee from Motley Crue.
00:14:27.000 Not the guy who was chasing Harrison Ford.
00:14:29.000 That's Tommy Lee Jones.
00:14:31.000 And they were talking about Heather Locklear, who Howard Stern's a big fan of because she always had his back, even when he was a little small-town radio guy.
00:14:41.000 And he said, poor girl, and she's suffering from depression and mental illness, whatever now. 0.99
00:14:46.000 And he goes, it was probably, you know, Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi and Tommy Lee both have huge cocks. 0.99
00:14:53.000 So I wouldn't be surprised if it was their cocks that drove her nuts, you know? 1.00
00:14:59.000 Dick that big, it's gonna break you. 1.00
00:15:01.000 Tommy Lee's dick is why she's so fucked up right now. 1.00
00:15:04.000 Obviously kidding. 1.00
00:15:06.000 And some tabloid ran with it and said, Howard Stern claims that Tommy Lee is responsible for Heather Locklear's depression. 1.00
00:15:16.000 And then Tommy Lee tweets out, fucking queen of all media, I'll kick your ass or something like that. 0.99
00:15:24.000 So he's not going to the original source, he's going to that 1.00
00:15:27.000 Person who was knowingly lying.
00:15:34.000 And so, you go, you don't really care.
00:15:38.000 Like when they read that thing about Howard Stern, and pretended to be outraged, they don't really care.
00:15:43.000 Tommy Lee doesn't really care.
00:15:47.000 And that pisses me off.
00:15:49.000 Because you're acting like you care and you're getting in my face.
00:15:52.000 I don't care if you don't care. 0.92
00:15:53.000 But I don't like liars.
00:15:56.000 And we keep getting these people who are freaking out about something like immigration, where they go, we're a nation of immigrants. 1.00
00:16:03.000 Fuck you, Trump. 1.00
00:16:05.000 And you go, okay, how many immigrants do we have in this country? 1.00
00:16:09.000 And they go, I don't know.
00:16:11.000 Illegal, by the way.
00:16:13.000 Now the correct answer, by the way, is between 15 and 50.
00:16:15.000 The left lies and says 15.
00:16:18.000 The right knows it's more like 30 to 50.
00:16:23.000 But they'll say crazy numbers and I go, all right, I don't expect you to be an immigration expert, but you're screaming about it right now.
00:16:31.000 So why do you care?
00:16:33.000 Or why?
00:16:35.000 Sorry, more importantly, why do you pretend to care?
00:16:37.000 Why are you wasting my time?
00:16:39.000 It's just like someone... I don't know anything about football.
00:16:42.000 And it's like me getting in your face if you have a Cincinnati Reds shirt on.
00:16:46.000 I'm not even sure that's a football team. 1.00
00:16:48.000 And I'm like, fucking Dallas Cowboys! 1.00
00:16:49.000 They're the best team ever! 1.00
00:16:50.000 Your team sucks! 1.00
00:16:52.000 Dallas Cowboys rock! 1.00
00:16:53.000 And then the other guy goes, who's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys?
00:16:57.000 And I go, I'm not sure.
00:16:59.000 But I know that they're the number one team!
00:17:02.000 And then a few months later, I've totally forgotten about the Dallas Cowboys.
00:17:06.000 That was actually kind of happened to the Redskins.
00:17:08.000 Remember that controversy where they said the Redskins name?
00:17:12.000 No one cared about it for decades.
00:17:13.000 Then everyone was furious.
00:17:15.000 And then they didn't change the name.
00:17:18.000 And then they moved on.
00:17:18.000 They stopped caring.
00:17:21.000 One of the guys, you know Ron Coleman, my lawyer on this SPLC thing, he fought hard for that band The Slants to have the right to use their name in trade market and he won in the Supreme Court and I think the people from that team, the Redskins, I think they were involved in the case too because they had a vested interest in copywriting a name that some see as a racial epithet.
00:17:47.000 I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people booing Krum are not familiar with his work.
00:17:51.000 That is it in a nutshell.
00:17:56.000 And they're getting people fired.
00:18:01.000 They're ruining people's lives based on rumors.
00:18:05.000 Like all these guys with these fake rape allegations.
00:18:08.000 Mattress Girl walks around Columbia with a mattress. 1.00
00:18:12.000 Under her arm.
00:18:13.000 And the guy that she was with now, he's a villain.
00:18:17.000 No courtroom.
00:18:18.000 Kale Hartman gets accused of rape.
00:18:21.000 He begs the girls.
00:18:23.000 What's her name there? 0.79
00:18:25.000 The chick? 0.94
00:18:27.000 Allison... Nope.
00:18:34.000 Beth Stelling.
00:18:37.000 That was 2016.
00:18:38.000 And they had a fight.
00:18:43.000 They're kind of horsing around.
00:18:45.000 Her legs were all bruised because she was trying to hold her down.
00:18:49.000 She was kicking at him and when women are good at kicking and women get bruised. 1.00
00:18:54.000 It was not a rape, but she posted a picture of it later and said, this is what it's like to be in an abusive relationship.
00:19:02.000 Twitter's fear of social media went nuts.
00:19:06.000 And that was it.
00:19:08.000 He ended up, uh,
00:19:11.000 What's this?
00:19:11.000 A comedian called out an alleged rapist and was sued for $38 million?
00:19:18.000 Oh, that was another case.
00:19:20.000 But they included the Kale Hartman case in there.
00:19:22.000 So he can't defend himself because they never, and he can't sue them because they never named him.
00:19:28.000 Someone else just sussed it out.
00:19:29.000 Oh yeah, Beth was dating Kale.
00:19:31.000 And then Kale's, you don't know how much of a villain he is. 0.96
00:19:34.000 He's way out in buttfuck Idaho now, just like working construction or something. 0.56
00:19:39.000 And he goes to an open mic.
00:19:42.000 and starts doing it and uh he can't date by the way because you google him and you see rapist so that's dating is out because that's what people do now when they hear your name he refuses to change his name i think he should probably 0.99
00:19:54.000 Uh, he doesn't open mic and they go, holy fuck, you're funny. 0.98
00:19:57.000 You should be a comedian. 0.99
00:19:58.000 He goes, okay.
00:19:59.000 Why don't you come in next week and we'll actually pay you?
00:20:02.000 Okay, comes in next week.
00:20:03.000 Then they start printing flyers.
00:20:05.000 Hey, Cale Hartman, this new comic is here.
00:20:07.000 People find out about it in LA.
00:20:10.000 They call the place and get him thrown out.
00:20:13.000 If he goes to somewhere like UCB,
00:20:17.000 Upright Citizens Brigade and sits there to watch a comedy show.
00:20:20.000 This happened.
00:20:21.000 Someone will come over and touch him and say, like the manager will say, uh, you have to leave.
00:20:25.000 I think you understand why.
00:20:27.000 And he'll just be removed. 1.00
00:20:29.000 Based on a fucking rumor! 1.00
00:20:33.000 No evidence! 1.00
00:20:34.000 He was crying on his hands and knees begging these girls to take him to court.
00:20:39.000 Charge me so I can prove that I'm innocent.
00:20:43.000 Nope.
00:20:44.000 We have kangaroo courts.
00:20:45.000 Isn't this why we had the law in the first place?
00:20:47.000 Isn't this why we've evolved law and order from the Magna Carta till now?
00:20:52.000 So someone isn't ruined based on a rumor, based on hearsay? 0.99
00:20:55.000 When did we all become junior high shitheads? 0.99
00:20:59.000 When did we all become these cunty little mean girls who want to ruin Jennifer's life because Mark likes her? 1.00
00:21:07.000 That's really what my vilification came down to, was that I was good at ridiculing Hillary and the left, and Proud Boys made loving Trump look fun. 0.50
00:21:19.000 No.
00:21:20.000 I don't like that that guy likes you.
00:21:23.000 I don't like that you and Trump are friends.
00:21:26.000 I want to ruin it!
00:21:30.000 Based on what? 0.63
00:21:33.000 This mythical universe where Trump is Hitler.
00:21:38.000 I just saw this Jewish organization called, um, we've seen this before dot com.
00:21:45.000 And it's American Jews against Trump. 1.00
00:21:50.000 A hundred percent of his children are having sex with a Jewish person right now. 1.00
00:21:55.000 Except for the ten-year-old. 1.00
00:21:58.000 But I'm sure he'll follow suit.
00:22:00.000 He moved the embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem.
00:22:05.000 See, this is what people don't understand about Trump.
00:22:08.000 He's the least racist person in that echelon of rich.
00:22:16.000 That's why old money hates him.
00:22:19.000 This is Trump.
00:22:19.000 Let me explain him to you and stop me if I've already said this.
00:22:22.000 Did I talk about this in the last podcast?
00:22:24.000 How he's a... they're wasps?
00:22:28.000 Tucker Carlson is the quintessential wasp.
00:22:30.000 White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. 0.65
00:22:32.000 Old money, rich guy.
00:22:33.000 Right?
00:22:35.000 Those people have their country clubs and they're very snooty.
00:22:41.000 Tucker isn't.
00:22:43.000 And they have their culture and it goes back to the beginning of America.
00:22:46.000 They built America.
00:22:48.000 They can afford to be arrogant.
00:22:50.000 Their religion, their values, that is the American dream in a nutshell.
00:22:57.000 So thank you wasps for all your hard work.
00:22:59.000 I'm not a wasp.
00:23:01.000 I'm an Irish Catholic. 1.00
00:23:02.000 I like trash. 1.00
00:23:03.000 Robert Crumb, by the way, is very waspy. 0.99
00:23:06.000 He hates tackiness.
00:23:07.000 He hates garter socks.
00:23:09.000 He hates Hawaiian shirts.
00:23:11.000 That's why he moved to France.
00:23:12.000 He's a classical liberal. 0.99
00:23:16.000 I like gaudy, shitty, loud music. 0.99
00:23:18.000 I like the air conditioning. 0.99
00:23:20.000 I like being loud. 0.88
00:23:25.000 I'm more black than any of these anti-racist liberals. 0.95
00:23:31.000 In fact, Thomas Sowell blames black culture 0.96
00:23:36.000 On the Scots.
00:23:38.000 He said when the slaves were freed, they had to subsume culture.
00:23:42.000 And there was the Irish being loud and partying and being gaudy and audacious and occasionally violent. 1.00
00:23:51.000 And they said, okay, let's be like these guys.
00:23:54.000 And I'm like, you're welcome.
00:23:56.000 That's fun.
00:23:59.000 So Trump is my people.
00:24:01.000 He's Scottish.
00:24:03.000 And he had these country clubs and the wasps didn't want him in because he's nouveau riche.
00:24:08.000 And wasps hate nouveau riche.
00:24:11.000 So his country clubs have a rule.
00:24:14.000 If you can afford to be here, you're in.
00:24:16.000 There's not a Jewish thing.
00:24:17.000 There's not a black thing. 1.00
00:24:19.000 We don't have different sections.
00:24:20.000 Everyone comes in.
00:24:21.000 It's a big patch quilt of rich people.
00:24:25.000 And the wasps hate that because you've just cheapened the idea of wealth.
00:24:29.000 You know, tacky Theodoracopulos is, ironically, totally against anything tacky.
00:24:34.000 And on his boat, he used to scream at all the other boaters because he could tell when they were nouveau riche in France.
00:24:41.000 And he'd be screaming from his boat, Screaming at them in disgust.
00:24:51.000 And now, Rodney Dangerfield and Caddyshack is what I'm talking about.
00:24:55.000 That's the ethos.
00:24:56.000 That's my people.
00:24:57.000 That's Trump.
00:24:58.000 Well, I just stepped on a duck, that thing. 1.00
00:25:00.000 I know you've heard me say this a million times, I don't give a fuck, okay? 0.99
00:25:03.000 I'm doing my hits. 0.99
00:25:05.000 And the only thing I don't like about Trump is that he resents that.
00:25:10.000 And he wants tuckers, he wants the wasps to take him in under their wing.
00:25:14.000 And he wants them to say, no, no, no, no, you're not Nouveau Riche, you're not Tacky, you're not Rodney Dangerfield, you're a wasp. 0.84
00:25:22.000 You're just like us.
00:25:23.000 You're just like all the old money people. 1.00
00:25:25.000 You don't eat McDonald's on your hundred million dollar jet.
00:25:28.000 No, no, no. 1.00
00:25:29.000 You're not... You're not a fat pig who cheats at golf. 1.00
00:25:33.000 You're an old, erudite, monocle-wearing, pipe-smoking, British person. 1.00
00:25:39.000 You're transatlantic, buddy.
00:25:41.000 He wants that so badly.
00:25:43.000 I think that's all he truly cares about, is being accepted by the wasps. 1.00
00:25:48.000 And it's never gonna happen, and it's a really stupid thing to care about. 1.00
00:25:52.000 Fuck them. 1.00
00:25:53.000 Fuck the rich. 1.00
00:25:54.000 The rich are corny. 1.00
00:25:55.000 You know what rich people do? 0.99
00:25:58.000 I saw this rich person after Hillary lost, and she saw Hillary on a, she was walking back to her fucking $120,000 Mercedes wagon, which is an idiotic thing to buy, and she sees the Hillary sticker on her car. 0.99
00:26:14.000 She had lost maybe two days before. 0.99
00:26:15.000 She stopped,
00:26:17.000 She put her two fingers together like the way you would if you were gonna eat Nutella out of a jar.
00:26:23.000 Little scoopy way.
00:26:25.000 She puts her two fingers together, kisses them, then she reaches down and she touches her kissed fingers to the bumper sticker.
00:26:34.000 What are you doing? 1.00
00:26:36.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00
00:26:41.000 Did that little sticker go, like the Pillsbury Doughboy? 1.00
00:26:46.000 Or did just a tiny atom of love go through the sticker into the cosmos and touch Hillary's broken heart? 1.00
00:26:56.000 Is that what happened, you dumb cunt? 1.00
00:27:03.000 So... I like filth. 1.00
00:27:07.000 What else is there? 0.58
00:27:08.000 I like junk food.
00:27:11.000 Why would you want to be something you're not? 0.65
00:27:14.000 I used to work with a guy who would talk black, white guy, because he played basketball his whole life.
00:27:20.000 He was tall.
00:27:21.000 And he wasn't playing basketball anymore.
00:27:23.000 We were adults.
00:27:23.000 And he was always like, yo, not for nothing.
00:27:26.000 Basically, what's going on?
00:27:28.000 Yo, yo, what's up? 0.87
00:27:29.000 Yo, handshake and the hug thing and everything, especially around black dudes. 1.00
00:27:34.000 He was really exhausted around black dudes because he'd really turn it up. 1.00
00:27:37.000 By the way, I'd love to tell you that 0.94
00:27:40.000 The black dudes would see me not doing the handshake and just being white and never going, yo, or saying, that's what's up.
00:27:47.000 And they respected that.
00:27:49.000 That's a better story, but it's not the truth.
00:27:51.000 When I would shake their hand normally, I refused to do the hip hop handshake.
00:27:54.000 When I would shake their hand normally, it was awkward and they didn't like it.
00:27:58.000 And when Rob would be like, yo, not for nothing, what's up, they did like it better.
00:28:04.000 Sorry, the story isn't as cool as I wanted it to be.
00:28:06.000 But anyway, I'll just say to him, Rob, so do the math here.
00:28:11.000 You're 70 years old.
00:28:12.000 You're living in Cape Cod.
00:28:13.000 You're tending to your garden. 0.99
00:28:14.000 Are you still like, yo, I got to fucking plant these daffodils, yo. 0.98
00:28:18.000 Like when does this end? 0.99
00:28:21.000 When is this fake?
00:28:21.000 It must be so exhausting to do a fake persona.
00:28:24.000 Even when I do Miles McKinnon's shit. 1.00
00:28:27.000 After about 10 minutes, I'm done. 0.99
00:28:28.000 Remember we did those live streams?
00:28:32.000 I said to Ezra, I don't know if I can do these anymore.
00:28:35.000 Like, an hour of being a character is just brutally exhausting.
00:28:39.000 Remember you had that theory, I don't know what it was for, I think it was like the gay voice, maybe? 0.66
00:28:44.000 Where it's like, if you scare them in the middle of the night, do they really sound like that when they pop up out of sleep? 0.99
00:28:49.000 Yeah, like, what if I scared this guy in the middle of the night and he's like, HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON? 0.99
00:28:53.000 I mean, yo! 0.99
00:28:54.000 Yo, why you gotta do that, bro?
00:28:57.000 Why you gotta front on me like that?
00:28:59.000 I'm bugging now!
00:29:03.000 Um...
00:29:06.000 Yeah.
00:29:07.000 Very frustrating.
00:29:08.000 And that's what annoys me too when people say, like, I get accused of doing this conservative character because the punk thing wasn't working and the hipster thing ran out.
00:29:16.000 So now I got to do this.
00:29:17.000 People, I mean, outside of sociopaths, people don't become a guy. 0.93
00:29:23.000 Like I've been doing the same shit now since I was 14. 0.86
00:29:28.000 There's no different, there's no act here. 0.99
00:29:32.000 I got my son really good last night.
00:29:35.000 Right?
00:29:36.000 My six-year-old.
00:29:39.000 Emily wanted to watch Joe Dirt.
00:29:41.000 I love Joe Dirt.
00:29:41.000 So we put on Joe Dirt with the kids.
00:29:43.000 By the way, Joe Dirt, I think, was 2001.
00:29:45.000 Run, Ronnie, Run, where David Cross is a mulleted redneck, is 2002. 0.67
00:29:53.000 Now, movies take a while to make.
00:29:56.000 And Run, Ronnie, Run was already an established character.
00:29:59.000 But look that up.
00:30:00.000 Did someone steal from someone there?
00:30:02.000 Because they are alarmingly similar movies.
00:30:06.000 It's the story of a crazy redneck. 0.92
00:30:08.000 It's like Forrest Gump meets Redneck. 0.61
00:30:11.000 Both of them are that movie exactly.
00:30:14.000 Now, Run Ronnie Run was a character from Mr. Show.
00:30:19.000 But... I don't know.
00:30:21.000 So anyway, I told my son, my youngest boy, he goes, is this the Avengers?
00:30:26.000 And I go, yep.
00:30:27.000 And so he watches the whole movie thinking we're watching Endgame.
00:30:32.000 The Avengers movie.
00:30:33.000 That's so mean.
00:30:34.000 And so he watches the whole movie.
00:30:37.000 He's pretty low on superheroes.
00:30:39.000 And I had forgotten I told him this lie.
00:30:41.000 And he's loving the movie, by the way.
00:30:43.000 And then there's a scene towards the end where Joe Dirt's gonna kill himself.
00:30:46.000 And he's standing on the edge of a bridge.
00:30:48.000 And Johnny looks at me.
00:30:50.000 And he goes, is Spider-Man coming?
00:30:58.000 Spider-Man's coming to save Joe Dirt!
00:31:02.000 And then all the Avengers are coming!
00:31:04.000 Captain Marvel's coming!
00:31:05.000 The Hulk!
00:31:06.000 Don't kill self, Joe Dirt!
00:31:10.000 Hulk save!
00:31:14.000 I said, no, this isn't the Avengers.
00:31:15.000 And then he just started bawling his eyes out.
00:31:17.000 He thinks it's like, you know, like, you know, Spider-Man gets his powers.
00:31:20.000 Joe Dirt's like, he has the power of dirt or something.
00:31:23.000 Like, he sounds like a superhero.
00:31:26.000 He's Joe Dirt.
00:31:28.000 He covers his enemies in dirt.
00:31:33.000 So that was a funny part of the weekend that you just ruined.
00:31:36.000 Another funny thing, I was goofing with the gals, the ladies. 1.00
00:31:40.000 We watched, there was so much baseball this weekend with my boy.
00:31:43.000 Five games!
00:31:45.000 So I just did nothing the entire weekend but stand in the rain watching baseball.
00:31:51.000 Which is good when he wins, but I don't like it when he loses.
00:31:55.000 But the moms had had a few pinot grigios. 0.99
00:31:58.000 And I made some joke about Mother's Day.
00:32:01.000 Like, what are we doing for Mother's Day, ladies Chippendales? 1.00
00:32:04.000 And they go, oh no, we're going to be at home having our vino.
00:32:07.000 Oh, and I said, are we going to be having our pinot grigio on Mother's Day?
00:32:12.000 And they go, oh, no pinot grigio.
00:32:13.000 It's going to be rosé.
00:32:15.000 And there's going to be a lot of, and then this sort of other woman goes, there's going to be a lot of rosé and a lot of menage a trois. 1.00
00:32:25.000 And then I go, Oh, I'm all for that.
00:32:27.000 I mean, depending on who my wife picks, but yeah, I would like as many of those as possible.
00:32:32.000 Let's have five menage a trois. 1.00
00:32:35.000 And then I realized that woman, there's a wine called menage a trois and I don't think she knows what it means.
00:32:42.000 And then it also occurred to me, maybe you don't know what it means.
00:32:46.000 Do you?
00:32:46.000 Could have been a threesome.
00:32:49.000 Yeah.
00:32:50.000 Okay, good.
00:32:50.000 Phew.
00:32:54.000 Yeah, I thought that was pretty fucking funny. 0.97
00:32:57.000 And I said to my wife later, how many menage a trois do you want on Mother's Day? 0.91
00:33:00.000 Because I don't think I have much more than one in me.
00:33:03.000 I could maybe do two if we did one super early in the morning and then one much later at night, but she should be pretty hot. 1.00
00:33:11.000 If we just do one, she could be a real tub. 1.00
00:33:15.000 And I'm fine.
00:33:16.000 Fine with that.
00:33:17.000 Tub.
00:33:17.000 A real tub-alart.
00:33:19.000 A real tub-o.
00:33:20.000 Another thing I overheard with the baseball parents was this one dad going, I hate guns. 0.97
00:33:25.000 Probably Jewish. 0.97
00:33:27.000 And I think Jewish liberals see the synagogue shooting as a gun issue.
00:33:33.000 This is before the shooting on the weekend, by the way, where that woman took a bullet for a rabbi.
00:33:39.000 I don't think I'm that brave.
00:33:41.000 I would take a bullet for my kids, but you never know in a situation how brave you're going to be until you do it. 1.00
00:33:46.000 Everyone likes to think that they would action movie it up, but God, wouldn't it be mortifying to find out in the actual moment that you're a fucking pussy? 1.00
00:33:55.000 Not that you're a pussy if you don't take a bullet. 1.00
00:33:57.000 I'm sort of changing the subject. 1.00
00:33:59.000 Like say five black teens are piling up on this white old white lady and you go, well, here we go. 0.98
00:34:04.000 I might get stabbed, but I got to save the day. 1.00
00:34:07.000 And then all of a sudden you freeze and you go, what the fuck? 1.00
00:34:12.000 I'm a pussy? 1.00
00:34:14.000 And you didn't know till now because you were never confronted. 1.00
00:34:20.000 That's the beauty of boxers.
00:34:21.000 They don't, they lost their fear gene.
00:34:23.000 They carry around their mouthpieces and when they see a fight on the train, they just put in their mouth guard and walk over.
00:34:28.000 I'm not there yet.
00:34:30.000 I'm actually, oh, that reminds me.
00:34:31.000 I wanted to talk about, I'm quite nervous about this fight with Copper Cab.
00:34:37.000 As you should be.
00:34:38.000 He, he can knock me out.
00:34:40.000 He's Iron Cab. 0.52
00:34:41.000 That's what he is now.
00:34:43.000 Finally, a good joke!
00:34:45.000 Well, he made that up.
00:34:47.000 Yeah, because I was boxing a cop this morning and I can be impossible to hit.
00:34:54.000 Like, say there's a superhero called Slippery.
00:34:58.000 I'm the king of the slip, but I use up all my life energy.
00:35:03.000 The little green at the top of the screen, it's just going boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. 0.98
00:35:07.000 And by the end of the first round, I am fucking beat. 0.98
00:35:11.000 So then you just, for the second round, I think we did four rounds, but by the third round, I was just an asleep person that you could kill at will. 0.98
00:35:22.000 And I like that box they were saying to you, what you do is you gotta go body blows, body blows, you break them down over six rounds. 0.97
00:35:29.000 Dude, I'm not sure I could fucking do somersaults for six rounds. 0.96
00:35:38.000 It's unimaginably exhausting. 0.98
00:35:41.000 And you can do pads, you can do anything else for 12 rounds, no prob.
00:35:45.000 But getting in the ring, the panic, the fear of being hit, it tires the fuck out of you.
00:35:51.000 Because your whole body is in fight or flight mode.
00:35:55.000 And then you go, well, what you got to do is calm down, relax, and just take a punch.
00:36:00.000 Yeah.
00:36:00.000 Why don't you calm down and relax and just get tased?
00:36:03.000 Take a blow to the head. 1.00
00:36:04.000 What is, what's a giant cop punching in the head? 0.99
00:36:07.000 Big deal.
00:36:10.000 Anyway,
00:36:12.000 That woman was very, very brave.
00:36:15.000 What an epic move.
00:36:16.000 What a hero.
00:36:20.000 But yeah, I overheard these liberal dads talking about guns.
00:36:24.000 I hate guns.
00:36:25.000 And I just, I thought, what a weird thing to say.
00:36:29.000 You hate guns.
00:36:32.000 A gun is a device.
00:36:34.000 I hate hammers.
00:36:36.000 I hate car tires.
00:36:37.000 No, but guns kill people. 0.99
00:36:39.000 Well, yeah, if guns were going around killing people, I'd understand.
00:36:43.000 And I guess what they're saying is they shouldn't be available for mass shootings.
00:36:47.000 But I think the worst mass massacres, the worst massacres in history were 9-11.
00:36:54.000 Those were planes.
00:36:55.000 And then the even with kids, it wasn't Sandy Hook.
00:36:58.000 It was used with it was fertilizer.
00:37:00.000 And I think it was like in the 1800s.
00:37:04.000 But I guess the argument is there's these military-style machine guns, which isn't true.
00:37:08.000 They just look like that.
00:37:09.000 They're not military-grade weapons.
00:37:11.000 They just look like it. 0.86
00:37:12.000 And they're going and killing people. 0.59
00:37:14.000 The example would be the mosque in Christchurch and the synagogue in Philadelphia.
00:37:19.000 I get that.
00:37:21.000 But... Then you take it a step further and you go, okay, so tell me what to do.
00:37:27.000 I erase all guns from America.
00:37:29.000 Magically.
00:37:29.000 This is a John Lott's whole thing.
00:37:32.000 Poof! 0.99
00:37:32.000 They're gone. 0.99
00:37:33.000 How long before guns are back?
00:37:36.000 An hour?
00:37:36.000 Two hours?
00:37:38.000 I'm guessing about zero hours before they start pouring over the border again.
00:37:46.000 And then they go, well, Britain doesn't have any gun violence.
00:37:49.000 Britain has plenty of gun violence.
00:37:50.000 Well, Australia, they outlawed guns and their gun violence went down.
00:37:53.000 No, their gun violence was already going down.
00:37:55.000 That's another myth.
00:37:57.000 All of these tropes are myths.
00:37:59.000 Look them up.
00:38:01.000 And then another dad goes, well, they say they don't want the government to take their guns, but if the government want your guns, they're getting them.
00:38:15.000 And I say, first of all, there was the Bundy Ranch thing, where the government was trying to kick out the last rancher, and if you're not on the side of Clive and Bundy, you didn't look it up.
00:38:28.000 The government abuses these ranchers.
00:38:31.000 All over the country.
00:38:32.000 They have no idea what they're doing.
00:38:33.000 They fuck up the land, they ruin it, they destroy the land, and then one rancher will be having a brush fire, which is an integral part of running a ranch, and he'll go a puuuube too far.
00:38:44.000 And the next thing you know he's looking at 15 years in jail because he burned up a quarter mile of government land. 0.99
00:38:53.000 Meanwhile they deal with hundreds of square miles every fucking day. 0.98
00:38:57.000 It really is outrageous what is going on with these ranchers. 0.98
00:39:01.000 So anyway when the government, when Obama went down to confiscate the Cliven Bundy Ranch
00:39:06.000 Not just the Bundys and the local ranchers, but ranchers from all over the country and supporters from all over the country showed up with guns.
00:39:12.000 And there was a standoff with the citizenry, the armed citizenry, and the military.
00:39:18.000 And guess what happened?
00:39:20.000 Obama chickened out and went home.
00:39:24.000 It worked.
00:39:25.000 The government failed.
00:39:27.000 And then you compare that to Occupy Wall Street, where all these kids are going up screaming in cops' faces and just getting pepper sprayed and pushed back and losing.
00:39:37.000 Also, the government is trying to take your guns.
00:39:41.000 They're desperately trying to take your gun in East New York and the South Side of Chicago and Baltimore.
00:39:47.000 I said that to my wife and she goes, is the government trying to take their guns?
00:39:50.000 I go, have you not been paying attention?
00:39:53.000 They're all highly illegal in all of those places.
00:39:56.000 Everywhere there's brutal gun violence, there is the strictest gun laws imaginable.
00:40:02.000 Just as strict as Britain's and Australia's.
00:40:05.000 We're a different culture, folks.
00:40:07.000 Stop comparing us to... England. 1.00
00:40:11.000 As Archie Bunker said, England is a fag country! 1.00
00:40:16.000 England is a fag country! 1.00
00:40:19.000 I don't want no fruit flies running around this house. 1.00
00:40:23.000 He's as queer as a four dollar bill and he knows it. 1.00
00:40:31.000 So you cook all the meals at your house? 0.98
00:40:33.000 Your husband cooks all the meals at your house?
00:40:35.000 Yes.
00:40:36.000 What's the matter with that, Arch?
00:40:38.000 Oh, aren't you kind of afraid of how that's going to look?
00:40:41.000 Oh, what?
00:40:42.000 Like I'm a bad wife? 1.00
00:40:44.000 No, that he's a fag. 1.00
00:40:47.000 Or maybe it wasn't like that. 1.00
00:40:48.000 Maybe it was more like, no, that he's a fag. 1.00
00:40:52.000 No, it was the way that you said it. 1.00
00:40:53.000 It was whispering, right? 1.00
00:40:55.000 No, that he's a fag. 1.00
00:40:57.000 Is this it? 1.00
00:40:58.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:40:59.000 Pardon me asking, but does your husband do a lot of the cooking?
00:41:03.000 He does all of it.
00:41:07.000 He loves it.
00:41:10.000 Well, uh, ain't you a little afraid of what people could think?
00:41:13.000 You mean that I'm a lazy wife? 1.00
00:41:16.000 No, that he's a fag. 1.00
00:41:17.000 Yeah, I was wrong. 1.00
00:41:19.000 You were wrong, too. 1.00
00:41:20.000 No, that he's a fag. 1.00
00:41:21.000 No, I thought it was, he's a fag, like he was whispering it. 1.00
00:41:24.000 Oh, okay. 0.99
00:41:25.000 But he's, he's like, it's like he's talking about tomatoes or something. 1.00
00:41:29.000 No, that he's a fag. 1.00
00:41:30.000 No, an antelope tomato. 1.00
00:41:31.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:41:32.000 No, that he's a fag. 1.00
00:41:35.000 I'll bet you anything 0.99
00:41:37.000 That the remake they do of Archie Bunker, Jimmy Kimmel and Woody Harrelson of all people. 0.99
00:41:42.000 Woody Harrelson is playing Archie Bunker in some short-lived remake coming up and I'll bet you anything, I'll bet you a hundred bucks that they PC it up and Arch loses all his charm and it just becomes boring propaganda that will flop, just like Ghostbusters 2, which you like, which is proof that you suck. 0.98
00:42:04.000 I didn't mind it. 0.69
00:42:05.000 But if you do want to bet on that, you should go to BetDSI.com and you should sign up at BetDSI.com forward slash Gavin and make sure you deposit some money.
00:42:16.000 BetDSI will double your money when you do that.
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00:42:31.000 And all other major sports.
00:42:33.000 Actually, I don't think you can bet on March Madness anymore.
00:42:36.000 It's a little late for that.
00:42:37.000 Maybe you could bet on next year's?
00:42:39.000 Politics, reality TV, eSports, virtually everything.
00:42:42.000 BetDSI has a very user-friendly interface and mobile site.
00:42:46.000 BetDSI has the fastest payouts in the industry.
00:42:49.000 Simply play, win, and get paid.
00:42:53.000 You have to use the code GAVIN, though.
00:42:55.000 And you have to put some dough down.
00:42:56.000 But you get it.
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00:43:02.000 They've been paying winners for 20 years.
00:43:04.000 So you use the link betdsi.com slash Gavin to deposit with a credit card or Bitcoin and get a hundred percent bonus.
00:43:11.000 New members get a hundred percent bonus match using the promo code Gavin.
00:43:15.000 That's more than double your money to start winning today.
00:43:18.000 Also by using Gavin, you will automatically be granted a free $25 wager.
00:43:23.000 And while you're spending or if you win big,
00:43:29.000 Make sure you go to DefendGavin.com.
00:43:33.000 Let's close the gap on that.
00:43:34.000 We're at 97%. 0.99
00:43:37.000 And I think the SPLC is 97% fucked. 0.99
00:43:42.000 What is going on over there? 0.99
00:43:44.000 I think there might be some criminal stuff. 1.00
00:43:47.000 I think this is going to go way past me just saying, you guys are dicks. 0.99
00:43:51.000 Torturous interference. 1.00
00:43:52.000 You guys are meddling.
00:43:54.000 And it's going to be police getting involved and saying, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:43:59.000 They're doing more than destroying free speech.
00:44:01.000 They're stealing money.
00:44:03.000 That is my theory, by the way.
00:44:05.000 Don't sue me.
00:44:07.000 Sue me for my theory.
00:44:08.000 Are we done with the read?
00:44:11.000 Hold on.
00:44:13.000 Yeah, okay, we're done.
00:44:18.000 That really added a lot to the show.
00:44:20.000 Ryan, thank you for that.
00:44:21.000 That was wonderful.
00:44:24.000 But why did Morris Deas, the founder of the SPLC, why did he step down?
00:44:29.000 I don't buy the sexism and racism.
00:44:31.000 Wasn't he there for 80 years?
00:44:34.000 And, or I should say, I don't buy that it was just sexism and racism.
00:44:39.000 And the president then quitting?
00:44:41.000 And the head of legal?
00:44:42.000 The head of legal, huh?
00:44:44.000 Wouldn't you have some culpability if they were doing something illegal?
00:44:50.000 Are you hiding some more dough, guys?
00:44:53.000 What are you up to, you sneaky little beets?
00:44:56.000 And I love that they got a visible minority woman in there, Tina Tchen.
00:45:03.000 Actually, they got two.
00:45:04.000 I think the new head is a black woman. 0.56
00:45:06.000 And then they said, let's get Michelle's chief of staff in there, Tina Tchen. 1.00
00:45:10.000 And then we find out Tina Tchen was the one carrying out Michelle's orders to snuff the Jussie Smollett case. 1.00
00:45:16.000 Ooh, and there's, I think she's being subpoenaed. 1.00
00:45:19.000 On that, I think Kim Foxx is in big shit. 1.00
00:45:23.000 And Tina Tchen's name is ruined. 0.99
00:45:27.000 All for Jussie Smollett?
00:45:28.000 Way to go, Michelle.
00:45:31.000 Becoming Michelle.
00:45:33.000 Alright, let's, uh, we're going way too long here.
00:45:36.000 Let's do the mailbag.
00:45:39.000 Shall we do some mailbag?
00:45:40.000 We shall. 1.00
00:45:44.000 Ryan, shut up! 1.00
00:45:48.000 Here it comes. 1.00
00:45:53.000 Oh, that only took you an hour.
00:45:57.000 What are you doing?
00:45:59.000 Shouldn't it be like right ready to rock? 1.00
00:46:01.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 0.98
00:46:05.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00
00:46:08.000 Let me touch it.
00:46:13.000 What does he want to touch? 1.00
00:46:14.000 My bag, dumbass. 1.00
00:46:16.000 Oh. 1.00
00:46:17.000 Do you know anything in the world?
00:46:21.000 Sometimes.
00:46:21.000 Do you get lost when you drive?
00:46:23.000 No.
00:46:23.000 No, not at all.
00:46:25.000 If you asked me that before and I've... Because sometimes when I'm driving and I'm having trouble navigating, I think, wow, I'm not dumb and I'm having trouble getting to my destination. 0.97
00:46:34.000 Dumb people must just be driving in circles.
00:46:36.000 No, I do pretty good driving. 1.00
00:46:38.000 Hmm.
00:46:42.000 Um, James Majury.
00:46:45.000 Dear GOML, 0.99
00:46:47.000 I was recently trying to introduce one of my liberal friends to your stuff to show them that you aren't the alt-right hate monster that scares all ethnic children the media portrays you as.
00:46:55.000 He was somewhat shocked to find out that on certain topics they actually agreed with you and worst of all on several occasions actually laughed at what you were saying.
00:47:03.000 It got us talking about the media deliberately misrepresenting people's views and I couldn't think of anyone who has been as blatantly misrepresented as yourself.
00:47:10.000 Is that the case? 1.00
00:47:12.000 Are you really the top of the pile when it comes to pieces of shit? 1.00
00:47:15.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:47:16.000 I hate you guys. 1.00
00:47:16.000 No, just kidding. 1.00
00:47:18.000 Um, is there someone else there that's in that that can claim that crown?
00:47:24.000 Yes.
00:47:25.000 Tommy Robinson is at the top of the heap when it comes to deliberate media lies.
00:47:32.000 Pretty much everyone who isn't a frothing Trump derangement syndrome liberal is being lied about.
00:47:38.000 Sargon of Akkad, portrayed as a racist.
00:47:42.000 Count Dankula, who has to pay, who's refusing, but he was fined hundreds of pounds for teaching his pug to zeig Heil.
00:47:53.000 Because that's racist.
00:47:56.000 Even though a genuine Nazi wouldn't like that. 0.70
00:48:02.000 By the way, Count Dankula was recently in George Square, which is like the Times Square of Glasgow, and Antifa surrounded him.
00:48:13.000 They still think he's guilty, by the way.
00:48:15.000 They don't get the joke.
00:48:16.000 And they go, here you, here is your dog-a-boot.
00:48:21.000 They call a dog a Doug there.
00:48:24.000 And he goes, no, isn't he here?
00:48:25.000 Why?
00:48:26.000 He goes, because if it was, we'd kick it. 1.00
00:48:32.000 Because his dog's racist. 0.99
00:48:34.000 Right. 1.00
00:48:34.000 So they'd like to hit, they'd like to kick a Nazi dog. 1.00
00:48:38.000 You talk about clown world. 1.00
00:48:40.000 Why don't you, so if you punch his pug, have you punched a Nazi? 0.99
00:48:43.000 Do you feel good? 0.96
00:48:44.000 And then what started according to Danky was a little inter discussion on, uh, dogs and kicking dogs.
00:48:53.000 Cause that's animal abuse, animal cruelty.
00:48:55.000 And he goes, look guys, we're no kicking a dog. 0.96
00:49:00.000 Um, Trump himself lied about, like, Trump is anti-Semitic.
00:49:05.000 We've seen this before. 1.00
00:49:06.000 That's just a crazy, silly myth. 0.97
00:49:11.000 Or, um, Roger Stone. 0.97
00:49:15.000 They sent more people to get him than Bin Laden. 0.96
00:49:19.000 Helicopters.
00:49:22.000 They hired the news, CNN.
00:49:23.000 They tipped off CNN.
00:49:25.000 They had boats waiting in the harbor in case he jumped underwater and got on some like those underwater scuba things that James Bond has. 0.89
00:49:33.000 And 27 heavily armed Marines or Navy SEALs or whatever the fuck they were.
00:49:42.000 I believe it was double what, um, I believe it was double what bin Laden had. 0.80
00:49:47.000 It's two people more than, uh, when they got Arnold Schwarzenegger in the middle of, uh, True Lies.
00:49:53.000 In the beginning of True Lies. 0.98
00:49:54.000 The fuckin' scuba gear. 0.99
00:49:57.000 Um... 0.98
00:49:59.000 About the topic you brought up, this is from a guy named Ben Wilkinson.
00:50:03.000 Hey Gavin, about the topic you brought up, contrasting Scottish people being blunt versus Asian saving face, I too taught in Asia for a brief stint.
00:50:10.000 When I was thirsty I'd go to the water dispenser and use these little pieces of paper that folded nicely into a cone and have a drink.
00:50:15.000 A few months after I'd been inconspicuously gifted a mug out of nowhere, I found out that it had really annoyed the whole office that I didn't stop using the little pieces of paper. 0.95
00:50:25.000 I developed a theory that saving face is just a strategy for banding together against someone for really petty bullshit.
00:50:33.000 Also, I don't recommend going abroad to teach for anyone that doesn't have a genuine interest and maybe even some background in teaching. 0.95
00:50:39.000 Being a student in Asia was fucking awesome, but the business you can teach for are usually pretty awful. 0.82
00:50:44.000 Businesses. 0.96
00:50:45.000 Would love to hear your thoughts.
00:50:47.000 I think it's a great way to make money.
00:50:48.000 I made a ton of money doing it.
00:50:51.000 And I was making like 25 bucks an hour back right after college when I was a useless 21 year old with nothing going on.
00:51:02.000 Yeah, I got out of high school early.
00:51:04.000 I started college at 18.
00:51:04.000 I see these 26 year olds in school and I just think, don't you want to start your life at some point?
00:51:11.000 Why are you sitting in class getting berated by professors and other students that tell you how much you suck all day? 0.98
00:51:20.000 Um, here's one I wanted to get to though. 0.98
00:51:23.000 From abroad.
00:51:25.000 And it's both a broad and she is from abroad.
00:51:32.000 Oh, Jade Reeves. 0.87
00:51:36.000 This is an intelligent letter from a woman.
00:51:39.000 If you can believe that.
00:51:41.000 Wagwan from London.
00:51:43.000 So you might get annoyed by this email, but as a long-time listener I have the impression your view on men seems to be with slightly rose-tinted glasses at times. 0.99
00:51:49.000 I agree a lot on your viewpoints, especially on feminism and the war on men, but I've got to say that your whole, if a little girl with a cleft palate went to school she would have no friends whereas the male equivalent would have tons of friends, that's all in quotes, is complete shite. 0.99
00:52:03.000 Maybe she's Scottish. 0.99
00:52:10.000 First of all, fat women don't become feminists because they get abused. 1.00
00:52:17.000 Fat women become feminists because they get rejected. 1.00
00:52:20.000 And I'm sorry, I'm not attracted to people that are dying. 0.98
00:52:22.000 It's not natural.
00:52:25.000 Now we're pretty reasonable with chubbiness.
00:52:28.000 And if you go to Walmart and you see some giant sphere who just looks like a bowling ball that someone drew a face on and some sweatpants, she'll have kids and she'll be with a man. 1.00
00:52:39.000 Every time I watch My 600-lb Life, there's some fucking boyfriend in there with her, feeding her. 1.00
00:52:47.000 I saw one, this black woman on 600-lb Life the other day. 1.00
00:52:49.000 She had a really tiny voice.
00:52:52.000 She was weird.
00:52:54.000 And her boyfriend broke up with her cause she started to lose weight.
00:52:57.000 I'm talking like she went down from 700 to 680. 1.00
00:53:00.000 Nah, he doesn't like skinny bitches. 1.00
00:53:05.000 So he was out. 1.00
00:53:08.000 All right.
00:53:09.000 Anecdotal evidence coming up.
00:53:10.000 I've worked in schools for a few years now.
00:53:12.000 In my experience, seven times out of 10, the kid with the gammy leg is getting bullied by lads.
00:53:19.000 Hmm.
00:53:21.000 If he's getting bullied, it's being bullied by lads.
00:53:23.000 That's a pretty good point.
00:53:26.000 I gotta admit.
00:53:27.000 Yeah.
00:53:28.000 But I wasn't talking about, and I guess I was talking about young kids.
00:53:34.000 Well, lads bully him, but also lads take him in.
00:53:38.000 You know, but women kind of will only do one thing. 1.00
00:53:40.000 They'll only bully and then... Yeah, maybe their bullying is a hazing.
00:53:44.000 It is!
00:53:44.000 To toughen them up.
00:53:46.000 I bullied a kid named Spirit on Mitsutakis and he's actually in the right wing thing too.
00:53:52.000 He knows he's in the same circles of people that we are and we became friends.
00:53:55.000 Well, black kids in New York are often accused of being much harder, bigger bullies than white kids, especially in like ghetto Bronx schools. 0.97
00:54:03.000 If you're a handicapped black kid and you went to an all black school, you got it way worse than a handicapped white kid would at a white school. 0.98
00:54:10.000 But maybe the justification for that is we got to toughen you up because you're in a much tougher neighborhood. 0.98
00:54:15.000 I agree.
00:54:16.000 You know what's weird?
00:54:17.000 It's like instinctual too, because I would be the kid that put my arm around him when he was crying.
00:54:21.000 We went to like a camp trip, and although I bullied him in regular school, he was crying because he missed home, and I put my arm around him.
00:54:27.000 I was like, what's the matter, dude?
00:54:28.000 It's like a connection, you know?
00:54:30.000 And nobody teaches you to do that.
00:54:31.000 Bully him, and then when he's sad, be there for him.
00:54:34.000 Nobody tells you that.
00:54:35.000 I thought that was weird.
00:54:36.000 I remember our gang was beating up Craig Fraser, the Falcons, when we were in second grade.
00:54:42.000 And then Craig Fraser was crying.
00:54:44.000 He said, everyone hits me.
00:54:45.000 No one likes me.
00:54:46.000 I didn't do anything to you guys.
00:54:48.000 And then Mike Reed left the gang and goes, I'll be your friend, Craig.
00:54:51.000 And they walked off together and they were friends for about 10 days.
00:54:53.000 10 days.
00:54:56.000 That's not bad.
00:54:56.000 That's pretty cool.
00:54:57.000 Okay, let's get back to this interesting letter. 0.99
00:54:59.000 A woman will whisper a mean joke to their friend quietly about the fatty on the dance floor, whereas men are far more likely to shout out fat cunt in a packed pub, if you know what I mean. 0.99
00:55:08.000 I'm not taking that because that's a pub. 0.99
00:55:10.000 People are drunk.
00:55:13.000 And I'm sure drunk chicks are just as bad, so we're not gauging 50% of the world's population based on a drunk guy in a British pub.
00:55:21.000 Back to the letter.
00:55:22.000 The only thing you guys beat us on is that we are more materialistic.
00:55:26.000 We're very shallow when it comes to things, but males are just as shallow and mean when it comes to looks.
00:55:30.000 Also, from the top of my head, 1.
00:55:32.000 Men have a rating system for women's looks. 1.00
00:55:34.000 Women don't. 1.00
00:55:36.000 2.
00:55:36.000 There are plenty of cases of female 10s dating male 4s.
00:55:40.000 Harvey Weinstein's wife springs to mind.
00:55:42.000 There are no examples of male 10s dating the female equivalent of Harvey Weinstein.
00:55:47.000 That is true, but there are a lot of male 6.8s dating female 4s.
00:55:56.000 Hugh Jackman?
00:55:57.000 No, that's a ten dating a... You just want to correct his number. 0.65
00:56:03.000 Hugh Jackman is, and Pierce Brosnan, there are about, I think Jon Bon Jovi, there are about five celebrities with ugly wives. 0.99
00:56:13.000 But there are a lot of 6.5 guys dating threes.
00:56:19.000 6.5 guys, burgers and fries.
00:56:21.000 Just a bunch of okay looking dudes.
00:56:27.000 And yes, men have a rating system, but both men and women define women by their beauty. 1.00
00:56:35.000 Look at the fucking beauty magazines women read. 1.00
00:56:38.000 And I think if you look at female bullying online, yes, women do get it worse, but no one mentions that the bullying is coming from women. 0.99
00:56:48.000 Yeah, but that's a fairly good point about men having a rating system, but men aren't attractive generally.
00:56:57.000 And we have other responsibilities in society that go back to cave days.
00:57:00.000 We're here to protect you.
00:57:02.000 We're here to make sure there's always a roof over your head and you always have health care.
00:57:08.000 Finally, if we are as mean and as cruel as you make out we are, how can you then say that we should be using our natural maternal caregiving traits as mothers, because by nature we are more caring than men and too sensitive for the workforce?
00:57:23.000 I'm a fan, I say all this with love, but it seems like your outlook on females seems a bit hypocritical at times, and your outlook on men is very biased at times.
00:57:31.000 I have donated to DefendGavin.com.
00:57:33.000 Good luck.
00:57:34.000 And Ryan's current hairstyle, and I use the word style lightly, makes him look like Liza Minnelli.
00:57:39.000 Wow.
00:57:40.000 Okay, you know what?
00:57:41.000 Cheers, Jade. 0.97
00:57:42.000 How dare you.
00:57:45.000 I think that's too flattering. 1.00
00:57:46.000 I think his hair makes him look like a fucking giant Muppet dog. 1.00
00:57:53.000 Fragile rock. 1.00
00:57:54.000 Kind of cool.
00:57:55.000 No, it's not.
00:57:56.000 No, it is not.
00:57:59.000 But wait a minute here.
00:58:01.000 What do you have to say about the maternal thing? 0.99
00:58:03.000 Yeah, women are bitchy cunts before they have babies because they're competing for a mate. 1.00
00:58:11.000 That's all. 1.00
00:58:12.000 I'm sure you'll see the same in the animal kingdom.
00:58:14.000 Yeah, that's true. 0.99
00:58:14.000 So when they're out there and the male birds are doing their little dance to get the female bird, the women are bitches. 0.99
00:58:20.000 In fact, there is a bird, I forget what it's called, 0.99
00:58:24.000 Thresher or something?
00:58:25.000 It goes to the other bird's nests and smashes their eggs, kills the babies, so those women will be less appealing to the male. 1.00
00:58:35.000 They sabotage the other birds. 0.90
00:58:37.000 And I think women do that too. 1.00
00:58:39.000 Then, after menstruating for 10 years, they finally get a man, have kids, and a serenity falls over them. 0.92
00:58:50.000 And they totally change. 1.00
00:58:53.000 This is why I call old childless feminists shit chests. 1.00
00:58:59.000 Because it was like if Tony Stark took out that glowing blue thing in his chest and he put a piece of poo in there. 1.00
00:59:07.000 They act like broken robots.
00:59:09.000 Because they are. 0.99
00:59:10.000 They've gone against their instincts and it's fucked them up. 1.00
00:59:14.000 In a big ass motherfucker way. 1.00
00:59:18.000 Should I keep doing these podcasts after I have my show? 0.99
00:59:20.000 Would that drive more people to subscribe or would it be out of sight out of mind?
00:59:29.000 And does the podcast help advertise the show?
00:59:34.000 Well if it's not a sample of the show it's probably not doing much to advertise it but it's advertising you and you are the show so it's a hard... Maybe we could shrink them down and it would be the audio would be a highlight
00:59:46.000 Yeah, that's what we'll do.
00:59:47.000 The audio will be a highlight from the show.
00:59:49.000 Or a recap of the show.
00:59:50.000 And you'll hear us discussing... No, not a recap. 1.00
00:59:53.000 You'll hear us discussing things that you can't see and you'll go, fuck! 1.00
00:59:57.000 I wish I could see this. 1.00
00:59:59.000 That's what we'll do.
01:00:00.000 That's more work for you.
01:00:01.000 It's alright.
01:00:05.000 Alright, is that all?
01:00:06.000 Did I tell you the story about this woman trying to get me kicked out of my pub? 1.00
01:00:10.000 My dive bar?
01:00:12.000 No. 0.92
01:00:12.000 I'm out in the burbs, there's a shitty dive bar, and by that I mean awesome. 0.92
01:00:17.000 It's kind of far from my house, about five miles from my house, but I like it there. 0.98
01:00:21.000 And this grumpy, ugly little feminist who's a teacher, of course. 1.00
01:00:26.000 She's wearing those Australian boots that you have the little tag on the back that you slip on. 0.99
01:00:30.000 You know those ones with the elastic on the ankle?
01:00:32.000 Yeah, it's called the Chelsea boot.
01:00:35.000 I hate those.
01:00:37.000 Is that what it's called?
01:00:37.000 The Chelsea boot.
01:00:39.000 Yeah, they suck. 1.00
01:00:42.000 I don't think you're right. 1.00
01:00:43.000 I think I am.
01:00:44.000 I'm talking about the Blundstone pull-on boots.
01:00:51.000 Blundstone.
01:00:52.000 Oh, that's a certain brand of it.
01:00:53.000 Yeah, but the design is the Chelsea boot.
01:00:55.000 Yeah, I think you're right.
01:00:56.000 Okay.
01:00:57.000 So of course she has those on and the little side tote that goes over your shoulder.
01:01:02.000 That's also a very Marxist teacher thing. 0.98
01:01:04.000 And then she looks like the ugly lesbian in Orange is the New Black. 1.00
01:01:09.000 Um, there's a couple. 0.99
01:01:11.000 There is a couple.
01:01:12.000 The one that's a drag queen. 1.00
01:01:13.000 Okay.
01:01:14.000 Yet again. 0.98
01:01:14.000 Oh, it's the black king. 0.98
01:01:17.000 The black guy, right? 0.98
01:01:19.000 No, it's, uh,
01:01:21.000 Lea DeLaria?
01:01:22.000 Oh, I don't know.
01:01:25.000 That one. 0.55
01:01:25.000 I know the other, the black one. 0.55
01:01:29.000 Isn't it?
01:01:30.000 Can you imagine talking to some of these women about Trump?
01:01:34.000 No.
01:01:34.000 Imagine saying, what would you rather do?
01:01:36.000 Eat stinging nettles or have to sit with Lea DeLaria for eight hours and hear her talk about Trump?
01:01:46.000 You know, I've heard people that don't like Trump, but I've been surprised that they actually have some point of view.
01:01:51.000 Like Dante Nero, for instance.
01:01:53.000 He talked to me about why he didn't like Trump.
01:01:55.000 What did he say?
01:01:56.000 What was his best point? 0.99
01:01:57.000 It was actually, it was just that, um, he knows that Hillary's awful, but she has more connections and stuff like that, and she knows how to run that whole, she knows how to play the politics game, lie to the people, do shit behind closed doors. 0.99
01:02:11.000 Yeah, I don't like that, Dante. 0.98
01:02:13.000 Exactly.
01:02:14.000 That's called corruption.
01:02:15.000 He's just like, well, I don't know.
01:02:16.000 I like that he's a peak, I want Rodney Dangerfield in there wrecking it. 0.76
01:02:19.000 I want a bull in the China shop because I hate China.
01:02:22.000 Did you get that double entendre? 0.84
01:02:25.000 That was pretty witty.
01:02:29.000 She looks so much like Lea DeLaria that they could be twins.
01:02:36.000 Anyway, I see her going, when I walk in and she's talking to other people.
01:02:40.000 And then she goes, that's a proud boy.
01:02:44.000 And then she shows her phone to the people around her.
01:02:47.000 I mean, this is a man's bar, right? 0.99
01:02:49.000 It's all, like, blue-collar dudes that go there.
01:02:51.000 It's really busy at 3, because, you know, they've been working since 5.
01:02:56.000 And that's when they get off work.
01:02:58.000 It's electricians and stuff and guys who work on the roadways.
01:03:00.000 So I don't know what you're doing telling people at this bar who can and can't be there.
01:03:06.000 You're on our turf, honey.
01:03:07.000 You're behind enemy lines.
01:03:09.000 So anyway, she shows the phone and of course it's the Southern Poverty Law Center and other liars, the same kind of people who say, you know, Howard Stern said that Tommy Lee made Heather Locklear insane. 0.99
01:03:23.000 And they don't give a shit, by the way. 0.97
01:03:25.000 So she has a little more liquid courage and then she comes up to me and she goes, I have a real problem with you being here. 0.99
01:03:32.000 And I go, why are you making your problem my problem?
01:03:34.000 Are you sure I haven't told this story before?
01:03:37.000 You told it to me off air.
01:03:38.000 Really?
01:03:39.000 Yeah.
01:03:39.000 All right.
01:03:41.000 No, I said the matriarch thing. 1.00
01:03:43.000 Oh, well, sorry guys.
01:03:44.000 You're going to get some stories repeated. 0.99
01:03:46.000 And, uh, I said, you, I meant to say you bitches are all worried about the patriarchy, but you are just as bad. 1.00
01:03:53.000 You're, you're the matriarchy. 1.00
01:03:56.000 But I just said, look, do you have any kids?
01:03:58.000 Cause you're a matriarch. 1.00
01:04:00.000 So I didn't articulate that part as well as I could have, probably because I was so scared that she was going to beat me up.
01:04:06.000 And I said, look, you got your coat on, you're all ready to go.
01:04:10.000 Just go.
01:04:10.000 What are you doing here?
01:04:11.000 What are you talking?
01:04:12.000 She goes, the way you feel.
01:04:13.000 Okay.
01:04:14.000 Other people here don't feel that way.
01:04:15.000 I go, you have no idea how I feel.
01:04:17.000 You don't know what I believe.
01:04:18.000 You don't know anything.
01:04:19.000 You don't know what you're talking about.
01:04:21.000 And she goes, and no one, something like no one here wants you here.
01:04:25.000 And I go, this is my bar lady. 1.00
01:04:26.000 Get out of here.
01:04:28.000 So she storms out and then I make a point to go there as much as possible after that and every waking moment I'm dipping down there wasting money on gas just to torment her and the two days later I see her there again and there I am and I wave and I see her panic and then she runs out and gets on her phone there's this local activist who's really irritating I think she called her said like he's here what should I do?
01:04:53.000 And then she just darts out of there and never to be seen again. 1.00
01:04:57.000 So then I say to the owner, did that fucking ugly bitch come by again? 1.00
01:05:00.000 And he goes, oh yeah, she was here. 1.00
01:05:03.000 She's been no end of a hassle to me there, Gavin.
01:05:09.000 Apparently she came by the next day and said, you have to stop serving him or I'm going to cause you problems. 0.80
01:05:17.000 This guy's an old Irish cop who could beat up Mike Tyson.
01:05:20.000 In fact, he has a Mike Tyson boxing glove on his wall.
01:05:24.000 And he's like, no.
01:05:28.000 And she found out that his wife owns the building.
01:05:31.000 So she starts demanding that the wife know what he's up to. 1.00
01:05:36.000 And then she's texting him articles and getting up in his grill like she's going to kick his ass. 1.00
01:05:42.000 Like their faces are a centimeter apart. 0.99
01:05:45.000 I just found out that, that's a new one I didn't know before.
01:05:48.000 Like, look you better do something buddy, you hear me?
01:05:50.000 Or there's gonna be trouble!
01:05:51.000 Like tough guy stuff.
01:05:52.000 She's a midget too. 0.99
01:05:54.000 She's like five feet tall. 0.89
01:05:57.000 And then she would come and just scowl, not sit at the bar and say, did you tell your wife?
01:06:01.000 Does your wife know?
01:06:02.000 Did you tell your wife?
01:06:04.000 Again, the matriarch. 1.00
01:06:06.000 Like how, that is the exact complaint they have about the patriarchy.
01:06:13.000 You know, I don't think we're going to be reading a lot of letters on this show, because we'll have live call-ins.
01:06:18.000 So that may... It probably should have been lower on your to-do list, I'm afraid.
01:06:23.000 But whatever.
01:06:25.000 Ryan's making a graphic for the mailbag.
01:06:27.000 But I'm not sure we'll have much letters when we have the live show.
01:06:31.000 It will be live though, folks.
01:06:32.000 You can call in.
01:06:33.000 Doesn't that look cooler?
01:06:34.000 You can call in and insult me.
01:06:35.000 Yeah, it looks really good.
01:06:37.000 Maybe we'll do one letter a show or something.
01:06:39.000 I used to like that on 60 Minutes when they'd have it at the end, but they didn't have live Collins.
01:06:43.000 So anyway, she screams at him, does your wife know? 0.99
01:06:46.000 And that's, that's, that, like imagine a world where you go, I don't want this bitch in my, uh, in the bar. 1.00
01:06:53.000 And there's some barmaid, and you keep saying to the barmaid, did you tell your husband? 1.00
01:06:59.000 Did you tell your husband that this slut is in the fucking bar? 1.00
01:07:02.000 Tell your husband! 1.00
01:07:03.000 That's the exact definition of sexism. 1.00
01:07:05.000 That's what everyone thinks the patriarchy is.
01:07:08.000 Which it isn't, by the way.
01:07:09.000 That would never happen.
01:07:13.000 So, then she just gives up.
01:07:15.000 She lost.
01:07:15.000 It didn't work.
01:07:16.000 She wasn't able to ban my bar from me.
01:07:19.000 My old man bar.
01:07:20.000 My greasy old man bar.
01:07:22.000 And so now she just walks by and gives the owner the finger every time she walks by. 0.99
01:07:28.000 Clown world, folks. 0.83
01:07:31.000 Clown world. 1.00
01:07:36.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 1.00
01:07:41.000 That's it for this show and also the mailbag. 1.00