Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 21, 2019


#141 | Lets catch up on some mail

Topics
Minnesota lake naming controversy ban for Pepsi joke
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Katsu Rivera Gavin Paul Robeson Howard Stern Anthony Cumia Bede Makaska John C. Calhoun Roger Stone Kate Smith Hitler Johnny Robin Jim Goad Creative Control Richard Sawinski Gwyneth Paltrow David Letterman Rupert Murdoch Ozzy Osbourne Derek Beckles and 37 more
S02E13 - THANK HEAVENS FOR LITTLE GIRLS S02E15 - VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR

Episode Stats


Length

47 minutes

Words per minute

179.66

Word count

8,546

Sentence count

800

Harmful content

Misogyny

42

sentences flagged

Toxicity

220

sentences flagged

Hate speech

34

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of Thick & Thin, the boys talk about Tommy Robinson, Burger King milkshakes, and the fact that planes are getting bigger and bigger. Also, we talk about how much better it is to be a flight attendant these days, and how much we would like to hop on a plane with Ryan and get stuck in the same seat with him for the entire six-hour flight. Also, the guys talk about what it's like to be on a flight with a fat ass, and why it's a good thing you don't have to pay for a seat in first class because you're not going to get a seat next to someone who's not as fat as you are! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The opinions expressed in this episode are our own and do not necessarily those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to either of these songs or any of the music used in them. If you like music, please leave us a review and tell us what you think about it on Apple Podcasts! or wherever else you re listening to music is listening to it. Thank you so much for listening and supporting this podcast, it really means a lot to us. Peace & Love, EJ & Rory. -The Best Fiends. Cheers, Caitlyn and Rory -Jon & Rory - The Good, Bad, Good Morning America and Jon & Garrett . Jon & Rory McInnes Caitlynchris Ben Carson Mikey Sarah Jake Matt Evan Ryan James Sam Julian Jack Alex Joe Michael Bobby Chad Jordan David Patrick John Will Ian Andrew Chris Tim Peter Matthew Paul Josh Brandon Canavan Tom Brian Isabel Jared Jeff Shane Dylan Brett Chelsie Justin Adam Christian Kevin Brad Emily Mark Dan Kieran & much more Thanks to: -Jon Nick

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Let's catch up on some mail.
00:00:04.000 That's what this, that's what this ep will be dedicated to.
00:00:07.000 You mean, uh, we'll tap into the... Mailbag?
00:00:12.000 You should have that thing ready.
00:00:13.000 Yeah.
00:00:13.000 Every time we do anything.
00:00:14.000 Oh it is.
00:00:16.000 I gotta, but before we do that, I just gotta say, we're shooting all this content for the new website, so when you pay, you subscribe, $10 a month, there's tons of content there for you.
00:00:29.000 And I'm really looking forward to it because it's not gonna be like a normal show.
00:00:34.000 There's about 10 shows.
00:00:36.000 So it's mostly a show where we just sort of go through what happened today, like Get Off My Lawn always was or the Gavin McInnes Show.
00:00:44.000 But it's also like I might just go to Britain and check out what's going on with Tommy Robinson.
00:00:49.000 And this would be a good time to do that because. 0.75
00:00:52.000 They're attacking him everywhere he goes, and this is Tommy Robinson, the Brexit guy, he's not bananas about Islam, so that's fascist!
00:01:02.000 Even though if you go to Birmingham, where Ozzy Osbourne's from, you will not recognize it. 0.91
00:01:07.000 It's 100% Muslim, basically.
00:01:10.000 Same with Luton, same with a lot of places in Britain.
00:01:15.000 Anyway, he's against that, and that's fascist.
00:01:18.000 So people started throwing milkshakes at him, and then they started throwing milkshakes at everyone conserved.
00:01:23.000 That's the new thing, milkshakes.
00:01:24.000 So they just threw one at Nigel Farage today.
00:01:27.000 And Burger King is advocating this.
00:01:30.000 Burger King put out a tweet that said, hey Scotland, we'll be making milkshakes all weekend if you know what I mean.
00:01:36.000 Hashtag just saying. 1.00
00:01:39.000 That's how normal it is to be a piece of shit in Britain. 1.00
00:01:42.000 Meanwhile, of course, the retort to that is, oh, right wingers don't like having milkshakes for them. 1.00
00:01:49.000 They're such snowflakes.
00:01:50.000 They're so triggered.
00:01:52.000 Yeah, the milkshakes is just a tiny part of it, OK?
00:01:54.000 Tommy's gotta move his family out in the middle of the night because the Secret Service is telling him there's a credible threat against his life.
00:02:02.000 So it's not just a milkshake.
00:02:05.000 But anyway, it would be cool just to hop on a plane with Ryan.
00:02:08.000 Obviously you get a different seat so you don't have to sit next to him for six hours.
00:02:10.000 What? 0.99
00:02:11.000 I'll be in business class and you'll be in scumbag class. 0.99
00:02:15.000 Excuse me? 0.98
00:02:16.000 We won't do that then.
00:02:18.000 What do you mean?
00:02:19.000 When we bother the airwaves. 1.00
00:02:20.000 Oh yeah, holy shit. 0.99
00:02:22.000 We did that for an entire flight, didn't we? 1.00
00:02:24.000 Yes, we did.
00:02:25.000 We were that guy.
00:02:27.000 When I was in high school, we used to call that dramas.
00:02:30.000 Like when you would get locked into a character and just do it for hours at a time.
00:02:34.000 But yeah, I forgot.
00:02:36.000 We were wasted.
00:02:36.000 We were coming back from Dallas and we were the annoying Mexican slash doctor from 600 Pound Life just going,
00:02:44.000 Excuse me, what is she?
00:02:46.000 The lady there, she's playing Candy Crush. 1.00
00:02:48.000 Yeah.
00:02:49.000 And she has nine strawberries lined up in a row.
00:02:52.000 She's not going to touch that?
00:02:53.000 What is she doing?
00:02:55.000 What is she doing?
00:02:57.000 I've lost my guy a little bit.
00:02:58.000 Why does she have to... She gets to play a game. 1.00
00:03:01.000 Where's my game?
00:03:02.000 Does everyone get a game?
00:03:04.000 Sir, that's her personal phone.
00:03:08.000 Oh, I see.
00:03:09.000 So I don't have a personal... Everyone gets a personal phone?
00:03:13.000 Can you ask her if I can play next, please?
00:03:16.000 It must suck being a flight attendant these days because flying gets shittier every minute and cheaper and more inefficient and the delays seem to be getting worse and you're stuck there.
00:03:27.000 Plus it was glamorous in the day when they all had to be hot. 1.00
00:03:31.000 Now they can have huge fat asses. 1.00
00:03:33.000 You know one time I got on a plane and I saw a gigantic fat ass? 1.00
00:03:39.000 In the pilot seat. 0.99
00:03:40.000 Like I saw, you know how when you're getting on you can see the front windows, right?
00:03:44.000 Yeah.
00:03:45.000 And I saw a gigantic fat woman working her way into the main pilot seat. 1.00
00:03:51.000 And her ass was as big as a desk. 1.00
00:03:54.000 Now, I know ladies at home, you go, that's fucked up, they're human beings, it's just buttons, blah blah blah. 1.00
00:03:59.000 Okay, okay, okay. 0.97
00:04:02.000 Let's see you when you see that.
00:04:06.000 You know what I mean?
00:04:07.000 Yeah.
00:04:07.000 Like remember what's his name?
00:04:08.000 Ben Carson got fired from NPR because he said, I kind of get uncomfortable when I see Muslims wearing Muslim garb praying before they get on a flight.
00:04:18.000 He got fired for that. 0.99
00:04:19.000 Who the fuck isn't uncomfortable when right before a flight, at your gate, 0.99
00:04:24.000 You see a bunch of people with blankets on the floor praying, like something big's about to go down and they want to make sure they're covered. 0.99
00:04:33.000 Of course you're going to be fucking uncomfortable. 0.99
00:04:35.000 I bet Muslims would be uncomfortable. 1.00
00:04:37.000 Yeah, because they know what it means. 1.00
00:04:39.000 Yeah, they go, oh shit. 1.00
00:04:42.000 I'll take the next one. 1.00
00:04:44.000 So the person had a big ass, a big fatso? 1.00
00:04:48.000 I almost didn't get my job at CRTV because of that. 1.00
00:04:52.000 Because the butt plane thing? 0.99
00:04:53.000 I tweeted it. 1.00
00:04:54.000 I think I said, does anybody on this plane not have a huge ass? 1.00
00:04:57.000 You almost got fired over that? 1.00
00:04:58.000 No, I hadn't started yet.
00:05:00.000 And apparently a meeting was called.
00:05:03.000 And the head of CRTV, the gambling guy, they said, well, he's got some pretty contentious stuff in his past, you know, and he said some pretty outrageous things.
00:05:13.000 He said, like what? 0.99
00:05:14.000 And he said, well, he just an hour ago said this about fat, quote unquote, asses. 0.99
00:05:19.000 And he was pretty cool. 0.99
00:05:21.000 He goes, are they a protected class now? 0.98
00:05:24.000 Meaning the people of the large ass? 0.99
00:05:26.000 Right, right. 0.99
00:05:27.000 By the way, ladies, I can't make this clear enough.
00:05:29.000 I was just looking at some message board on some encrypted app that people can't even be on normal apps these days.
00:05:35.000 And it was this big woman with like big thighs, like a plus size model. 1.00
00:05:41.000 And the tone was sort of like, yes, we're big and we're beautiful.
00:05:46.000 And
00:05:47.000 Every plus size model, every man would kill for that. 1.00
00:05:50.000 When we say, ew gross, you're fat, we mean you're dying. 0.99
00:05:55.000 It's the huge dying ones that aren't popular. 0.99
00:05:58.000 Like that airplane pilot. 0.99
00:06:00.000 She was not, like her doctor, her doctor would look at her ass and go, oh Jesus. 1.00
00:06:05.000 But the normal big, even like a little bit of a gut, no real man has a problem with that, relax. 1.00
00:06:10.000 If you could land a plane on the pilot's ass, I wouldn't trust it to land the plane. 0.99
00:06:15.000 That's where I draw the line. 1.00
00:06:17.000 You know what else drives me nuts about flying is these goddamn Millennials treating it like it's a sleepover. 0.99
00:06:23.000 They bring pillows, they bring blankets. 0.99
00:06:26.000 My brother showed me this.
00:06:27.000 He took a picture of the guy.
00:06:28.000 He was going on the train from Toronto to Ottawa in Canada and he not only did he have a pillow and a blanket, he had a mattress.
00:06:36.000 Now, not the mattress that you sleep on, but like the kind of mattress that would be at the dentist's office or something.
00:06:42.000 You know what I mean?
00:06:43.000 Like very thin and maybe three feet by two feet, like not a adult size, but just a large sleeping mat, I guess you'd call it.
00:06:52.000 But they'll just, they'll just lay out there at the gate like it ain't no thing in PJs and slippers. 0.79
00:07:00.000 That used to be reserved for crazy people and punks. 0.91
00:07:04.000 Now they just can't wait. 0.91
00:07:06.000 And even the way they dress with these shower shoes and the sweatpants that young people like you wear.
00:07:14.000 Oh man.
00:07:15.000 Sweatpants.
00:07:16.000 And the thing I hate about sweatpants too is someone will have a wallet and a phone or something in them and they start sagging down.
00:07:22.000 They start getting pulled down.
00:07:23.000 And then when they walk, the cell phone is flopping around in the pocket.
00:07:28.000 They can't run or it's just bouncing everywhere.
00:07:30.000 It's going to slip out.
00:07:32.000 And again, what if someone slaps your girl? 1.00
00:07:34.000 You got your phones flopping out of your stupid pajama bottoms? 1.00
00:07:42.000 I'm sorry. 1.00
00:07:43.000 I just got really, really mad.
00:07:46.000 Anyway, um...
00:07:48.000 Yeah, we were shooting stuff on Friday with this show, and I just like the idea of going to see Tommy for a week in Britain, or sometimes the show will be a super high budget thing, like we just shot Cornel West and Milo having an interesting discussion.
00:08:03.000 Holy crap, have those guys read a lot of books?
00:08:06.000 Chekhov, and Dostoyevsky, and Tolstoy, and what's the difference? 0.96
00:08:11.000 I think I've read one book by any of those people.
00:08:15.000 A very literate couple, those two.
00:08:19.000 Roger Stone, too.
00:08:21.000 I'd love to get Roger Stone with Noam Chomsky.
00:08:24.000 Wouldn't that be a... Because you know what you're going to discover when you put these two people together in the cage?
00:08:30.000 You're not going to have Siamese fighting fish ripping each other apart.
00:08:33.000 You're going to have a logical discussion.
00:08:35.000 And there'll be some differences, and there'll be a little bit of give and take, but not a lot. 0.94
00:08:41.000 The reason that we get depersoned and deplatformed is because the far radical left wants to perpetuate this myth that the people on the right are fascist Nazi psychopaths.
00:08:54.000 And they can't perpetuate that myth if we talk.
00:08:57.000 So they put tape over our mouths and say, you can't defend yourself. 0.98
00:09:01.000 I'm going to say that you believe this and you're going to be screwed. 0.81
00:09:06.000 And so they do it. 1.00
00:09:08.000 And then people meet you and they go, Oh shit, that's weird. 1.00
00:09:11.000 I thought you were a Nazi. 1.00
00:09:14.000 Why does your kid look like a little Indian kid? 1.00
00:09:18.000 My youngest looks so Chinese that I beat the shit out of our Chinese delivery guy who was around nine months before the baby was born. 0.99
00:09:28.000 I actually wrote that joke, um, at the gym and thought it was so funny. 0.99
00:09:32.000 I was laughing, hitting the heavy bag.
00:09:34.000 I laughed so hard the first time that I got nothing now.
00:09:39.000 I'm milked dry from that laugh, yeah.
00:09:40.000 Well, the context was funnier, too.
00:09:42.000 The context was some dude thought that I'd have a problem with his son, and his son is like slightly olive-skinned Italian.
00:09:48.000 Oh, yeah.
00:09:49.000 I'm like, meanwhile, my boy looks so Chinese.
00:09:51.000 I was playing soccer with my son.
00:09:52.000 My boy looks so Chinese, I beat up the Chinese delivery guy, blah, blah, blah. 1.00
00:09:56.000 All right.
00:09:57.000 So, should we get to some lets?
00:09:59.000 Now you've given me this annoying habit of abbreviating things.
00:10:03.000 Is that what you just did?
00:10:04.000 Yeah.
00:10:04.000 It was hard to determine what that was.
00:10:07.000 Because that was a short one, Let's.
00:10:08.000 But, uh, here we go. 1.00
00:10:10.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 0.99
00:10:15.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00
00:10:22.000 I wonder if your dad feels any remorse.
00:10:24.000 Like, does he ever go, whoa, what did I do?
00:10:26.000 Does he have another family?
00:10:29.000 Um, but yeah, he's got, he's got two kids that are, you know, the real, real, his real kids.
00:10:35.000 He's got two real kids?
00:10:36.000 Are they fully Japanese?
00:10:38.000 Oh yeah.
00:10:39.000 So he married a Japanese woman or he just boffed her?
00:10:41.000 Yeah, and then they, um, a little divorce, a little sloppy divorce. 0.99
00:10:46.000 Oh really?
00:10:48.000 Oh, she cheated on him? 0.98
00:10:49.000 Yep. 0.98
00:10:49.000 Why are you being so sensitive about a guy who threw your life in the garbage? 0.98
00:10:53.000 Who aborted you basically?
00:10:55.000 Well, you know.
00:10:56.000 You know what I realized recently?
00:10:58.000 By the way, you're a prime candidate for abortion.
00:11:01.000 In the sense that, in this feminist world they're all talking about, you screw some Japanese hairdresser, and then he skips town, and you're young. 0.98
00:11:09.000 I should have been an abortion. 1.00
00:11:10.000 And like, you're a normal definition of abortion. 1.00
00:11:14.000 For them, yeah.
00:11:15.000 Yeah.
00:11:16.000 So when they talk about abortion, they're talking about you, my friend.
00:11:19.000 Dang.
00:11:19.000 They're saying, we don't need more Ryan Rivera's in the world.
00:11:23.000 Let this Puerto Rican get rid of that Japanese baby. 1.00
00:11:26.000 We're a bunch of jerks. 1.00
00:11:28.000 Yeah, you should go to the next Pro Choice Rally and just be there with a big sign that says, thanks a lot. 1.00
00:11:33.000 Yeah.
00:11:34.000 I'm alive.
00:11:35.000 No thanks to you. 1.00
00:11:36.000 Bastards. 1.00
00:11:38.000 You could be with some people with Down Syndrome too. 1.00
00:11:41.000 We're around too.
00:11:43.000 No thanks to you.
00:11:44.000 Yeah.
00:11:48.000 Hi, Gavin.
00:11:49.000 I recently watched How to Be a Man.
00:11:51.000 This is a movie I did.
00:11:55.000 Do you have any funny or interesting stories related to making the movie?
00:11:59.000 Also, what happened in the movie with Jim Goett as the skinhead gang leader?
00:12:03.000 I like you more than a friend, Randall.
00:12:06.000 Okay, you recently watched How to Be a Man.
00:12:08.000 Any funny stories?
00:12:09.000 We shot it in no time.
00:12:11.000 We shot it in a month.
00:12:13.000 We wrote it in a month.
00:12:14.000 The whole thing was soup to nuts in two months.
00:12:17.000 That's why I'm not impressed when people talk about their movie they've been working on for five years.
00:12:22.000 Just pound it out.
00:12:22.000 We work 12 hour days.
00:12:24.000 Easy peasy.
00:12:26.000 Uh, as far as funny stories, nope, not that, not that come to mind.
00:12:32.000 Um, I was really impressed.
00:12:33.000 We got Diplo that express yourself just to release and go.
00:12:38.000 That manager was really cool.
00:12:41.000 And then, um,
00:12:43.000 I kind of became known as this evil hate figure much longer after, you know, there's another movie that Creative Control and I was, the SPLC was just starting their crusade to make me look bad.
00:12:52.000 Uh, as they were making the movie.
00:12:56.000 So when they started making the movie, there was no inclination that I'm evil, but by the end it was getting bad.
00:13:03.000 And, uh,
00:13:05.000 There's a scene in it where the guy's having a panic attack on drugs and the music is pretty boring.
00:13:13.000 And I said to the director at the premiere, I said, why didn't you make the movie?
00:13:17.000 The movie was great.
00:13:17.000 Good job.
00:13:18.000 But why didn't you make the music crazier during the panic attack?
00:13:24.000 And he said, he said,
00:13:29.000 I did.
00:13:29.000 I had awesome tunes.
00:13:31.000 But the musician found out that you were in the movie and he thinks that you think that trans people don't deserve to live. 1.00
00:13:40.000 Like I want them all dead. 0.98
00:13:42.000 And he removed his song, so I had to get a free song at the 11th hour. 0.99
00:13:46.000 That's why the song sucks. 0.99
00:13:47.000 You ruined it. 0.99
00:13:48.000 Then he sunk into a deep depression after that movie was out, and I don't know if he's worked since.
00:13:53.000 You don't want to make a movie with me, boy.
00:13:56.000 By the way, I read about some trans person who was shot recently, and the implication is that
00:14:03.000 There's incredible violence against trans in this country and they're dying left and right.
00:14:09.000 I think that's true that they do die disproportionately, but what you have to factor in is their lifestyle. 0.99
00:14:15.000 They are drug addicts.
00:14:17.000 They are disproportionately inclined to be addicted to drugs. 0.99
00:14:21.000 They have a predilection for mental illness and 0.98
00:14:25.000 A lot of the times these trainees will go home with some black dude, and he won't find out until the last second that he's with a dude. 0.97
00:14:33.000 Sometimes they've already done the act, and some communities are more homophobic than others, particularly black and Hispanic communities, or especially Muslim, I'd imagine. 0.56
00:14:45.000 And so when they find out they've been with a dude, they don't go, you!
00:14:50.000 You got me! 0.94
00:14:51.000 They kill the guy. 0.98
00:14:52.000 So you might want to throw that in the mix.
00:14:55.000 Also, what happened to the movie with Jim Goat as the skinhead gang leader?
00:14:58.000 I guess I can... Shall I announce the secret?
00:15:01.000 This is it.
00:15:01.000 You ready for what I've been holding back from you for all these years?
00:15:05.000 I did a movie...
00:15:06.000 That was a movie of my book, Death of Cool.
00:15:09.000 Jim Gold was in it, and it was just stories from my book.
00:15:13.000 And the skinhead gang leader was when I got beat up by Nazi skinheads when I was a teenager.
00:15:19.000 We reenacted that scene.
00:15:21.000 The whole story of Vice was in there.
00:15:24.000 And moving to New York, and Derek Beckles, and Shane and Saroosh, and Ryan McGinley, and all the early aughts in New York City.
00:15:34.000 It's a fantastic movie.
00:15:36.000 That's sitting on a shelf at 20th Century Fox right now.
00:15:40.000 I think the divisions called Fox Digital actually, but the story I got and it's tough getting the truth from all these people because they don't.
00:15:49.000 Want to get sued or whatever, but the story I got initially was that Vice was very unhappy that I was making such a film, even though the book already came out.
00:15:58.000 And they wanted to do everything they could to shut it down.
00:16:00.000 And I think they threatened to sue.
00:16:03.000 I was told that the, what's his name, Roger Murdoch, Rupert Murdoch's son, one of the Murdoch boys, is on the Vice board of directors.
00:16:13.000 And I was told that he walked into 20th Century Fox and he said, look, my daddy owns this whole place.
00:16:18.000 Uh, take out this movie.
00:16:20.000 Don't, don't distribute it.
00:16:21.000 And they said, okay, we'll just give us another 500 grand and we'll reshoot the Vice scenes and just take them out and we'll, we'll recreate a thread without Vice in it.
00:16:31.000 And I, I think, I have no evidence of this, it's all rumor, that he came back to them and he said, good news. 1.00
00:16:37.000 And they went, fuck you. 1.00
00:16:37.000 I did it. 1.00
00:16:38.000 We're not giving him 500 grand.
00:16:39.000 So,
00:16:42.000 That didn't work.
00:16:43.000 I think we did reshoot a new thread though without Vice.
00:16:47.000 Oh yeah, we did.
00:16:48.000 Because later on there was this distributor called Black Pill.
00:16:52.000 And then I'm told Black Pill was told by Vice to kill the project.
00:16:58.000 And they said if you don't kill the project we won't.
00:17:01.000 They allegedly said if you don't kill the project we won't work with you and you need our content.
00:17:05.000 Black Pill was apparently some new Netflix that was a French company that was going to compete with Netflix but their angle was no kid stuff. 0.72
00:17:14.000 Like it's an edgy Netflix with swearing and boobs and tits and x-rated stuff and nothing family. 0.95
00:17:21.000 We're the edgy Netflix. 0.98
00:17:23.000 Edgeflix they should have called it.
00:17:25.000 By the way I think Black Pilled
00:17:27.000 Is a term that means super duper alt-right. 0.98
00:17:31.000 Like full-on Nazi, anti-Semite, Jews, the moon landing didn't happen, like conspiracy, nut bar, super super out there, fluoride in the water, no vaccines. 0.97
00:17:42.000 I think. 0.97
00:17:43.000 So it's an unfortunate name for a distribution company, but anyway.
00:17:48.000 So I believe after threatening legal action and getting the board in there, they were finally able to do it via capitalism and say, we won't work with you if you work with him.
00:17:59.000 And it's put on a shelf.
00:18:00.000 But then this character assassination thing became so intense that I don't know if the people involved wanted their name on it.
00:18:09.000 Cause if it comes out now, especially in the Hollywood creative class, it's like, I worked with a hate figure and made a movie.
00:18:18.000 So they kind of got their way again.
00:18:20.000 Cause I even talked to the director and the producer and I said, well, you know, you know me, would you want your name on it?
00:18:27.000 And he was sort of like, he was very quiet.
00:18:31.000 And Last Pictures, the guy I used to do sketches with, they took all my videos down.
00:18:34.000 Even though they know that I'm a cool guy, but they want to start doing movies with Disney and stuff, and they don't want to be associated with me.
00:18:43.000 It's like, when you get this pariah status, even people who know you're cool don't want to get involved.
00:18:49.000 Like Ezra Levant, when I said, I assume you want me to come back to Rebel after I got fired from Blades, and he goes, I don't know dude, you kind of have a swarm of bees around you.
00:18:58.000 So I talked to them recently and I said, can I just buy the movie off you?
00:19:04.000 And they were throwing around numbers like 700 grand.
00:19:07.000 And I thought, if I were to buy that for 700 grand, could I make my money back with $5 a pop on a pay per view thing?
00:19:16.000 And I don't know if I could.
00:19:18.000 So I'm not into that.
00:19:20.000 But I don't know, maybe the guys behind my new thing, or if this new site makes a ton of money, maybe I'll buy it off them, and then we'll show it there.
00:19:28.000 But it is really fucking funny, it's super raunchy, it's ten times better than How to Be a Man, and it will likely never see the light of day.
00:19:39.000 It's my The Day the Clown Cried. 0.95
00:19:42.000 And I've never told anyone about this before because I was optimistic that we were going to get it, get it made and get it out.
00:19:49.000 What is made?
00:19:49.000 It's fully made.
00:19:50.000 There's two versions it's so made.
00:19:51.000 There's one without vice, one with vice.
00:19:54.000 I was confident it would come out and I thought, oh, we'll save all the story for when it comes out.
00:19:57.000 But I no longer have any confidence whatsoever that it will ever see the light of day.
00:20:02.000 So there's the story I've been saving all these years.
00:20:04.000 Oh, and Anthony Comey is in it.
00:20:05.000 He plays Richard Sawinski.
00:20:07.000 That was the billionaire who
00:20:09.000 Who brought us down to New York City from Montreal.
00:20:11.000 And he's amazing in it.
00:20:13.000 But I can't even get it to show to my friends.
00:20:16.000 Because they're scared I'm going to bootleg it.
00:20:18.000 So every time I get a copy, like say I want to show an investor or a rich guy who might buy it. 0.98
00:20:23.000 It has that fucking watermark across it that has his email. 0.97
00:20:27.000 Like this is for Ryan Katsu Rivera. 1.00
00:20:30.000 In big ghost letters on it.
00:20:32.000 To the point where it's totally distracting.
00:20:34.000 Like it takes up the whole screen.
00:20:36.000 So I can't even really see it myself.
00:20:39.000 That's the weird thing about film and TV.
00:20:41.000 There's stuff just sitting on shelves, rotting, that's awesome, and it'll never see the light of day.
00:20:49.000 Anyway, that was a long letter.
00:20:51.000 Next letter.
00:20:52.000 Gavin, I was listening to old G-O-M-M-L podcast this past week and rediscovered some gem Gavin stories.
00:20:58.000 Specifically of interest was the one about your times as a young lad skiing without a helmet and snow gear. 0.94
00:21:03.000 People are raising pussies nowadays and as evidence I cite this personal anecdote. 0.97
00:21:07.000 I was driving home from the gym and saw a helicopter mom on a walk with her two sons and a baby in a stroller. 0.99
00:21:13.000 The boys were on their bikes and fully decked out in helmets, shoulder pads, elbow pads, knee pads.
00:21:20.000 Shoulder pads?
00:21:21.000 How are you going to fall on your shoulders?
00:21:23.000 Gloves?
00:21:24.000 This pissed me off in and of itself.
00:21:26.000 However, there's an additional twist to the story. 0.99
00:21:27.000 Their fucking bikes also had training wheels, making it virtually impossible for them to fall. 1.00
00:21:33.000 This is the fucking problem. 1.00
00:21:34.000 Prepping for non-existent danger. 1.00
00:21:36.000 Yeah, Nick DiPaolo talks about that in his last special.
00:21:38.000 About how he's in the woods in Westchester on a mountain bike, and he sees the guy with a helmet on.
00:21:43.000 I wish people who wear helmets on bicycles could see themselves through my eyes.
00:21:48.000 I am so disappointed in you. 1.00
00:21:51.000 You look like such a loser, like such a pussy, like such a total and utter waste of space. 1.00
00:22:00.000 When are you gonna fall and bonk your noggin? 1.00
00:22:03.000 And then, of course, every time I say this, they say, actually, my cousin went into a telephone pole and he would have died if he didn't have a helmet on.
00:22:10.000 Yeah, yeah, okay.
00:22:11.000 It's a very rare occurrence.
00:22:15.000 I grew up in the 70s.
00:22:17.000 We didn't even know the word helmet.
00:22:20.000 And everyone was just fine.
00:22:22.000 Dudes had motorbikes.
00:22:23.000 They had motocross bikes.
00:22:25.000 Rich kids, usually kids going through a divorce, like my friend Steve, his parents were getting divorced and he just had everything he wanted.
00:22:31.000 Like he had the top skis, ski boots, and he had a motocross bike when we were like 13.
00:22:36.000 He was fine.
00:22:41.000 It's not the kids' fault, either. 1.00
00:22:43.000 It's these dumb, danger-aware moms and pussy dads to blame for this, he says. 1.00
00:22:47.000 I even had once, back when I lived in Brooklyn, my kids were about five, and they're on these little scooters, and they know to stop at the corner, and they whiz by some childless hag, and she goes, uh, helmets! 1.00
00:23:00.000 So now we're so brainwashed into thinking everyone's gonna die that they yell at people who they don't even know.
00:23:06.000 And she's never gonna have kids, but she's worried about mine.
00:23:09.000 I'm telling you, a ski hill is functioning at 100% helmet rate.
00:23:15.000 Right, Ryan?
00:23:16.000 Remember we went to Okimo?
00:23:17.000 We were the only ones not wearing helmets.
00:23:19.000 Yeah, that was bizarre.
00:23:20.000 And we were dressed really like, you know, being a little cold wasn't the end of the world.
00:23:25.000 Yeah, I had jeans on and a flannel.
00:23:28.000 Everyone's got their little plastic snow pants.
00:23:32.000 Oh no, my bum might get wet!
00:23:34.000 You know, I thought I needed the snow pants, remember?
00:23:37.000 So you brought a pair for me.
00:23:38.000 And it's like, I feel like without snow pants, you're less likely to fall because you're like, I don't want to get my pants wet.
00:23:46.000 So you're just better.
00:23:46.000 Well, you do fall about every four feet.
00:23:49.000 That's an exaggeration, but I do fall a lot.
00:23:52.000 Okay?
00:23:54.000 Furthermore, I finally ponied up $12 to watch How to Be a Man.
00:23:57.000 Oh, good.
00:23:58.000 I guess that's two letters about How to Be a Man.
00:24:01.000 I guess it's available on YouTube now?
00:24:04.000 I really hope you're the one who profits from this purchase.
00:24:06.000 I do not.
00:24:07.000 Totally life-changing.
00:24:08.000 Although I've been an avid follower for some time, I've already absorbed many blah blah blah.
00:24:10.000 It's an interesting hour, blah blah blah blah.
00:24:14.000 I like your new sunglasses.
00:24:17.000 It makes me more pumped to start sending my money out.
00:24:17.000 What does he say?
00:24:19.000 Let's get some info on the new website.
00:24:21.000 Any news of the Hidaway baseball product recommendation from a few emails ago?
00:24:21.000 P.S.
00:24:27.000 I'm telling you, your boy will obviously start to crush baseballs after using it.
00:24:29.000 Okay, stop talking to me like we're friends.
00:24:36.000 Here's one from Keaton. 1.00
00:24:38.000 I recently discovered that my 28-year-old brother is a fag. 1.00
00:24:41.000 And no, I don't mean that he is a homosexual. 1.00
00:24:45.000 Worse, actually.
00:24:46.000 He told me he saw The Avengers two times right as it came out.
00:24:49.000 He's seven years older than me, and I still can't get him to understand that watching fictional kids movie is bad. 0.94
00:24:56.000 We had a long text conversation about this, and he defended his actions by calling this fucking superhero movie creative, heroic, and inspiring. 0.99
00:25:04.000 G-Dog, what the fuck do I do with this goof? 0.99
00:25:06.000 Also, Ryan Katsu is the man. 0.99
00:25:08.000 Oh, cool.
00:25:10.000 And here he is saying,
00:25:12.000 And then he showed me a screen grab of the text with his brother where he says, get bodied.
00:25:16.000 I don't know where this email is from.
00:25:18.000 Maybe he's British. 0.99
00:25:20.000 I don't know what get bodied mean. 0.94
00:25:21.000 It means like die.
00:25:22.000 Oh, I never heard that.
00:25:23.000 Body is like a rap thing.
00:25:24.000 Like you got bodied, like destroyed or dead.
00:25:27.000 Oh, okay. 0.74
00:25:28.000 And then his brother says, you say mindless.
00:25:30.000 I say creative, heroic, and inspiring.
00:25:32.000 Just because something is fictional doesn't mean it's worthless.
00:25:35.000 And then he has laughing and I hope you're joking.
00:25:38.000 I just think the best thing to do and thank you for your letter sir is to just continue making fun of Your brother as much as possible every time you see him Say like oh, maybe Wolverine can come and save us and what's the deal now with? 0.97
00:25:54.000 With Superman now if if does it matter how big the piece of kryptonite is or you know just keep asking him superhero questions about their stupid universe 0.99
00:26:05.000 Guy at the gym today was telling me to go fuck myself and that Endgame rocked, because he listens to the podcast. 0.99
00:26:13.000 And I can't beat him up, so I just had to say... I just had to say, uh, thank you very much. 0.99
00:26:19.000 OK.
00:26:21.000 I hope you enjoy your movie.
00:26:23.000 Oh, yeah, it was all right. 0.99
00:26:25.000 He was like, OK, that scene where they all come out of all the different worlds show up to kick everyone's ass. 0.99
00:26:30.000 Yeah, OK, fine. 1.00
00:26:31.000 One scene.
00:26:33.000 Where everyone in the entire universe shows up to kill a universe of bad guys.
00:26:38.000 Yes, that's interesting.
00:26:39.000 It's like an interesting drawing.
00:26:40.000 Sure, whatever. 0.99
00:26:43.000 But you cannot ignore the fucking, she's got the backup, where nine female superheroes fill the screen, including fucking Gwyneth Paltrow. 1.00
00:26:54.000 That's, wait, that's just me criticizing that particular, um, 0.99
00:26:59.000 Uh, action movie.
00:27:00.000 Uh-oh.
00:27:02.000 I peed my pants last night and I got so drunk I passed out on the couch and I'm just seeing that it went into my phone case.
00:27:08.000 You're kidding me.
00:27:08.000 You don't have any Clorox wipes, do you?
00:27:10.000 Yes, I do.
00:27:12.000 Happy to help.
00:27:13.000 I had a note wedged into my case that said, if found, please call my wife and then had her number.
00:27:21.000 But now that note has been pee-peed.
00:27:25.000 So yeah, I can't believe I have to keep repeating this, but you don't need to wear a helmet ever.
00:27:31.000 Maybe on a motorcycle, we can talk.
00:27:34.000 But I'll tell you what, I wouldn't be wearing one if it wasn't illegal in New York to not wear one.
00:27:43.000 Like in Pennsylvania, you don't have to wear one.
00:27:46.000 Oh, I was going to ask, is the drinking limit the same for a motorcycle and a car?
00:27:53.000 Like is it .08?
00:27:54.000 I think so, I don't know.
00:27:57.000 It shouldn't be, it's a hell of a lot easier to drive drunk. 0.88
00:28:01.000 Although I have driven fucking, when I was a young man, I would, I had a Suzuki GS 850, like a chips highway patrol bike. 0.83
00:28:09.000 And I used to drive, I'm not proud of this at all, but I would drive blackout drunk. 0.96
00:28:13.000 One time I lost my motorcycle for about a week in Montreal.
00:28:17.000 And then I was walking by a gas station on St.
00:28:19.000 Laurent, Sherbrooke, and there's my bike. 0.99
00:28:23.000 Oh shit. 0.67
00:28:24.000 I guess I parked it at the gas station. 1.00
00:28:26.000 Wow.
00:28:27.000 But it's the same, by the way.
00:28:28.000 Motorcycle rider with the blood alcohol content of .08 in New York.
00:28:35.000 All right, you ready?
00:28:36.000 How are we doing for time?
00:28:38.000 Pretty good.
00:28:39.000 30 minutes in.
00:28:40.000 So this is from a guy who calls himself Jack Pancake.
00:28:45.000 He says, liberal outrage in Minnesota.
00:28:48.000 Is the outrage mob right this time?
00:28:50.000 And then he shows me an article that says Minnesota DNR to challenge appeals court ruling on renaming Lake Calhoun BDA BDA Maka Ska.
00:29:02.000 So they, they want to rename it BD Maka Ska?
00:29:06.000 Makaska?
00:29:08.000 No, it's those are two different words, Maka and Ska.
00:29:12.000 DNR Commissioner Sarah Sturman said the Waltz administration will teach them... The court held that only the legislature, not the DNR, can change a lake name that's been in use for more than 40 years.
00:29:23.000 Why do they want to change it?
00:29:25.000 You mentioned that people will put down and pick up controversy whenever they see fit, a la Robert Crumb.
00:29:30.000 Minnesota liberals are up in arms recently about the naming of a body of water known both as Lake Calhoun and Bede Makaska.
00:29:36.000 Sounds like a reggae band, right?
00:29:38.000 The lake was known by its original unpronounceable name up until the 19th century when the then secretary of war, John Calhoun, sent the army to survey the region and eventually took the name Calhoun Lake based on the maps made by their, man, this is a boring letter.
00:29:54.000 Yeah.
00:29:55.000 This is a real snoozefest. 0.99
00:29:57.000 I kind of like the brother who's a fag a lot more than this. 1.00
00:30:00.000 It was known as both names until the liberal outrage mob found a new voice after the clearly unrelated roof massacre in Charleston blah blah blah. 0.96
00:30:09.000 Now that the Minnesota Court of Appeals ruled last week, oh my Facebook is bursting with virtue signal outrage, however, they might have a point.
00:30:18.000 Calhoun was one of the most adamant proponents of slavery in U.S.
00:30:22.000 history and stoked the flames of the civil- blah blah blah blah blah.
00:30:26.000 No, the outrage mob doesn't have a point.
00:30:29.000 Stop changing history. 0.99
00:30:31.000 I don't give a shit if some statue said something rude 200 years ago. 0.99
00:30:37.000 We're taking down all these statues, removing everything because someone had a slave, someone said something rude. 1.00
00:30:43.000 Look, Beda Makaska is a ridiculous name. 0.94
00:30:45.000 It's not English. 0.97
00:30:47.000 It's hard to pronounce.
00:30:49.000 It's Calhoun Lake.
00:30:51.000 Stop renaming everything.
00:30:53.000 Stop trying to erase history.
00:30:55.000 It's so petty.
00:30:58.000 That's why Unite the Right had so many people, by the way, because they didn't sell it as a Nazi festival.
00:31:06.000 They sold it as a rally to protest taking down statues.
00:31:11.000 And then they slowly ramped up the alt-right stuff towards the very end and said, actually, we're going to have a bunch of tiki torches and say Jews will not replace us.
00:31:21.000 Some were already there when they found out what was going on.
00:31:23.000 A lot of people didn't participate in the march and didn't like the tiki torch thing.
00:31:27.000 That's what Trump said and that was twisted into Trump saying, I think the Nazis are really cool guys. 0.80
00:31:35.000 No.
00:31:37.000 So don't mess with history.
00:31:38.000 The only argument I've ever heard that I thought was pretty good because I was saying, um, don't take down this slavery guy.
00:31:46.000 It's part of our history.
00:31:46.000 Don't take down that.
00:31:47.000 We all overcame it together and we're all here together now.
00:31:50.000 And then someone said, okay, so can we have Hitler statues in Germany?
00:31:55.000 That's a pretty good point.
00:31:56.000 That's hard to imagine.
00:31:58.000 But man, we're so petrified of something like that, that we've swung the pendulum way too far the other way.
00:32:05.000 And I was quick to point out when that was brought up that Mao statues are all over China and he killed 80 million of them.
00:32:12.000 We're the only ones that are obsessed with correcting our history.
00:32:17.000 You can't go back in time.
00:32:19.000 Just accept it. 1.00
00:32:21.000 Wouldn't it be funny if you went back in time to kill Hitler as a baby and then your time machine broke and you spent the rest of your life in prison as a baby murderer? 1.00
00:32:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:32:29.000 That would stink. 0.99
00:32:31.000 That would suck. 0.81
00:32:32.000 Hi Gavin, I just wanted to share this with you.
00:32:34.000 It gives a little dimension to the whole Kate Smith, That's Why Dark Years Were Born thing. 0.87
00:32:38.000 Oh my God!
00:32:39.000 That timing is so serendipitous, you're likely to think that I planned this letter.
00:32:44.000 I swear to God, I was just thinking about Kate Smith.
00:32:47.000 That's the woman who sang a racist song a million years ago, and the Yankees stadium is no longer using her national anthem because she uttered a racist song once. 0.63
00:32:59.000 Um...
00:33:00.000 It was first done by black singer and activist Paul Robeson.
00:33:05.000 Paul Robeson.
00:33:07.000 Her version was done with the best intentions.
00:33:09.000 Considerably so, it being the 30s.
00:33:12.000 What kind of grammar is that?
00:33:14.000 Considerably so it being the 30s?
00:33:16.000 I can't read that sentence.
00:33:18.000 But really, I wish I had the power to swing back the track at Yankee Stadium during the National Anthem to Paul Robeson's That's Why Dark Years Were Born.
00:33:25.000 Wouldn't that be something?
00:33:26.000 So what he's saying here is that it was done sarcastically.
00:33:31.000 And if you hear the song, the lyrics are like, that's why darkies were born, who else could carry out the slop and who else could stink or something like that. 1.00
00:33:38.000 It's clearly a parody.
00:33:39.000 Let me look it up right now.
00:33:42.000 It's not like a serious song like, hey, I don't know if you know this, why darkies were born, but one of the reasons is because someone has to clean out the slop. 1.00
00:33:52.000 Someone had to pick the cotton. 0.89
00:33:53.000 Someone had to pick the corn. 0.96
00:33:54.000 Someone had to slave and be able to sing. 1.00
00:33:56.000 That's why darkies were born. 1.00
00:33:58.000 Someone had to laugh at trouble, though he was tired and worn.
00:34:01.000 Had to be contended with any old thing.
00:34:02.000 That's why darkies were born. 1.00
00:34:04.000 Sing when you're weary.
00:34:05.000 Sing when you're blue.
00:34:06.000 Yeah.
00:34:07.000 That's a positive thing.
00:34:10.000 Someone had to fight the devil, shout about Gabriel's horn.
00:34:12.000 Someone had to stoke the train.
00:34:14.000 That would bring God's children to green pastures.
00:34:16.000 That's why darkies were born. 1.00
00:34:17.000 That doesn't sound so bad.
00:34:18.000 Sounds very positive.
00:34:21.000 Most of this, like I heard Anthony Cumia talking about Howard Stern once.
00:34:24.000 He had a Klansman on his show when he had a TV show, and he had the Klansman order all the different groups in order of merit, and like gays were at the bottom, and blacks were there, and Jews, and the guy was wearing his Klansman uniform, and there was a black woman there, too, watching him do it.
00:34:38.000 Robin?
00:34:39.000 And Robin was also there, so two black women. 1.00
00:34:41.000 Oh, I see.
00:34:42.000 But now they're saying, why does Howard get away?
00:34:46.000 And, you know, Anthony understood this, too, but I'm just bringing him in.
00:34:51.000 Howard Stern's point was clear to lampoon racism.
00:34:54.000 He was clearly mocking the Klan.
00:34:56.000 But we're losing all this nuance because we are desperate to find Nazis because we want to prove that hate is everywhere.
00:35:07.000 And your hate has no home here sign doesn't mean anything if there's no hate.
00:35:11.000 So you say this person's hate and this song has hate in it.
00:35:17.000 So take it down.
00:35:22.000 Uh...
00:35:24.000 Kevin C has something to say.
00:35:26.000 On one of your recent podcasts, singular, you were talking about how after many years of fornicating with women as a single man, you decided to settle down.
00:35:34.000 In your opinion, how many women should a man spread his wild seeds on until he decides to select one to build a life with? 0.88
00:35:41.000 Also, how many charitable beddings of sub fives and fat chicks should a man take upon himself before he settles down and get married? 0.99
00:35:47.000 The reason I ask is that I believe practice would aid in the reduction of fat, ugly feminists, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1.00
00:35:51.000 Okay. 0.99
00:35:52.000 So ideally,
00:35:54.000 You are a virgin when you get married and you marry your college sweetheart that you saved yourself for and she's the one and you guys learn about sex together from scratch and you start pumping out kids at a very young age, maybe 20.
00:36:12.000 And you make six kids.
00:36:14.000 That's ideal.
00:36:15.000 And you will, I've said this a billion times, you will never see a happier couple than two Catholics who got married early and had kids right away.
00:36:25.000 Now, we are living in a crazy time when even if you are in that situation, you propose to her, she'll say no. 0.99
00:36:34.000 Because she's been brainwashed into thinking she has to try a hundred dicks. 1.00
00:36:38.000 So that's the ideal is pretty rare, unfortunately. 0.78
00:36:44.000 So I would say if you can't get that ideal and you're living in a world where that's just not possible, like I think it's still possible in the South and parts of the Midwest, Texas, Florida, I don't really consider them the South, but you know, in the Northeast and Canada and stuff and Britain, it's pretty hard to pull that off.
00:37:03.000 So within the paradigm of not being able to settle down to your 25,
00:37:09.000 I think variety is key.
00:37:11.000 I think you really gotta try different fruits. 0.98
00:37:14.000 And one good thing about sleeping around as a young man is, you're walking down the street and you go, I know what it's like to be with her, I know what it's like to be with her, I've been with a fatty, I've been with a black chick, I've been with a no-ass, I've been with a big-ass. 1.00
00:37:26.000 You know, you don't have the grasses greener because you've been on all the grass. 0.96
00:37:31.000 But the funny thing about settling down is
00:37:35.000 You get these guys, they first get drunk when they're 14 and then they, uh, they decide like at 40, they're thinking about settling down.
00:37:44.000 Wait a minute, 14, 24, 34.
00:37:49.000 You've almost gone three decades.
00:37:53.000 How much decadence do you want to fit into your life?
00:37:57.000 Don't you get the idea?
00:37:59.000 Like your hangovers are starting to get bad in your mid thirties.
00:38:03.000 Why, and it's not like you can't party when you get married, but how much cocaine do you have to do?
00:38:09.000 How much beer do you have to drink?
00:38:11.000 How many threesomes do you have to have? 1.00
00:38:13.000 I think a decade of decadence is a hell of a lot.
00:38:18.000 So 10 years is pretty darn good, 14 to 24.
00:38:23.000 But in New York, being married at 24 would be insane.
00:38:30.000 Um, so my answer for that is, yeah, not a lot, not as much as we're doing.
00:38:36.000 I think, I think tens a ton.
00:38:41.000 Now I'm someone who's had been around the block quite a bit, and I, I didn't learn anything from it.
00:38:48.000 You know, David Letterman was recently saying his biggest regret in life is waiting so long to start a family, and I'm inclined to agree.
00:38:53.000 I can't possibly have any more kids, my wife's too old, 1.00
00:38:59.000 And I only got three and I wish I had five.
00:39:01.000 I wish I had six.
00:39:02.000 You know what's a trip about kids, by the way?
00:39:05.000 They die.
00:39:07.000 Sort of.
00:39:09.000 Like my little Johnny now.
00:39:10.000 He's a funny guy and I love talking to him and stuff.
00:39:13.000 But there was this baby Johnny.
00:39:15.000 That you can see in the video, How to Fight a Baby, where he was this loud mouth little guy who couldn't talk, right?
00:39:21.000 He was only two.
00:39:22.000 And I'd just be taking a dump or something.
00:39:23.000 He'd walk.
00:39:24.000 We had one bathroom that doesn't have a lock.
00:39:26.000 It's a sliding door.
00:39:27.000 And he would just push open the sliding door and go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:39:33.000 And then walk out again.
00:39:36.000 And it's so weird that that kid is gone.
00:39:39.000 Or my middle child, he used to, he was kind of nerdy.
00:39:43.000 Now he's more of a jock.
00:39:44.000 He's kind of cool, but he wasn't cool when he was a little, little kid.
00:39:47.000 He was really into superheroes and making stuff, little arts and crafts stuff, like robot arms and stuff.
00:39:52.000 And he used to make up these sayings that he would say on a daily basis, like, the Bob Marley has begun.
00:39:59.000 Or scientists say, when you read a book to love, you just fall apart.
00:40:04.000 Or what'd you say?
00:40:06.000 I said, bow.
00:40:07.000 What'd you say?
00:40:09.000 Or he'd ask me, did you say bow?
00:40:11.000 I have no idea what any of this means, by the way.
00:40:15.000 What else would he say? 0.97
00:40:16.000 Badass means good ass. 0.99
00:40:19.000 You're laughing at me, not with me. 0.99
00:40:21.000 That was another one.
00:40:23.000 Some of these we would hear so much, I'd say, stop saying that!
00:40:28.000 But those are all gone.
00:40:29.000 That person is 100% gone.
00:40:32.000 It's not like he's sort of like that now.
00:40:34.000 And then there was another guy who would just have his little soother in his face and he wouldn't say a word and just stare at everyone.
00:40:40.000 Or my daughter!
00:40:42.000 When she was a little baby, she had a ponytail on the top of her head and she called Cookie Monster, Queena. 0.79
00:40:48.000 And she would take dumps in her diaper in my home office behind the door. 1.00
00:40:52.000 That was like her little spot.
00:40:54.000 That person is gone!
00:40:57.000 The Dora the Explorer girl, gone.
00:41:01.000 Now you get over it because you get a new kid, but it's almost like being a foster parent where you lose all these kids.
00:41:09.000 I can't look at pictures of them.
00:41:10.000 You know what's a trip by the way?
00:41:12.000 If you look at a picture or video of your kid from like four years before, it's like your modern kid now but was in a car accident and can't speak properly.
00:41:23.000 No one ever talks about that.
00:41:25.000 I miss the babies.
00:41:28.000 What happened to my little babies?
00:41:29.000 Oh my God.
00:41:30.000 Soon they're going to be soon.
00:41:31.000 My sons are gonna have mustaches and be like, Hey dad, what's up?
00:41:35.000 Do you need help changing this transmission?
00:41:39.000 Yes, I do.
00:41:39.000 Little guys.
00:41:42.000 That's if they're nice.
00:41:43.000 I mean, my little cousin at the latest family get-together, he tells my girlfriend, he's like, I mean, look at Ryan.
00:41:49.000 Who would be afraid of that?
00:41:51.000 Just look at him. 1.00
00:41:52.000 And I'm like, you little shit. 1.00
00:41:53.000 He was so nice before. 1.00
00:41:55.000 You should have shoved him.
00:41:57.000 I didn't hear him say that.
00:41:58.000 I was told that.
00:41:59.000 So he said that behind my back.
00:42:01.000 He's like, look at him.
00:42:01.000 He's never been in a fight.
00:42:03.000 Who would be afraid of that? 1.00
00:42:05.000 Wow, what a bitch. 1.00
00:42:06.000 I would have popped him one. 1.00
00:42:07.000 How old is he?
00:42:08.000 He's graduating high school this year.
00:42:13.000 Let's get in the Chevy Nova with ski masks on and baseball bats.
00:42:18.000 Go pay him a visit.
00:42:19.000 Wait, you do that and then I save him.
00:42:23.000 Great.
00:42:24.000 And then I spend the weekend in the tombs.
00:42:28.000 What's up Gavin and Ryan? 1.00
00:42:29.000 Just here to let you know your method of wearing shoes all day, even inside your own house, is dumb. 0.97
00:42:34.000 As I'm running out of room on my card, go against... 0.98
00:42:39.000 Go against your natural instinct and do not reference Jimmy McInnes's gross Chinese torture feet in your rebuttal.
00:42:45.000 Oh, okay. 1.00
00:42:46.000 Anyways, you mean to tell me you walk around shitty Manhattan streets, the world's most worn-out trail of shoes, tracking dog shit, vomit, spit, fucking rat shit, human shit, you bring all of that into your home where your kids inevitably walk around barefoot and then jump on the pillows with shitty city feet and sleep on them after? 1.00
00:43:06.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:43:08.000 Oh, that guy's mean. 1.00
00:43:09.000 But have you noticed the grammar in a lot of these letters? 1.00
00:43:12.000 Anyways, you mean to tell me you walk around shitty Manhattan streets the world's most worn-out trail of shoes-tracking dog shit? 0.97
00:43:18.000 There should be a semicolon there. 0.99
00:43:20.000 Come on, guys. 0.99
00:43:21.000 Have you noticed this, by the way, with the goddamn dollar sign? 0.99
00:43:24.000 I'm sure I mentioned this before, but it's driving me insane. 0.97
00:43:27.000 This past year, the dollar sign has moved from before the number to after the number.
00:43:32.000 And intelligent people of not all ages, I would say under 35,
00:43:37.000 Don't even know that the dollar sign goes before the number. 0.96
00:43:40.000 You wouldn't believe how often I see it on the wrong goddamn side. 0.98
00:43:44.000 It's infuriating. 0.99
00:43:45.000 Mandela effect.
00:43:46.000 Anyway, to answer your story, sir, you're not talking about me stepping on actual poo.
00:43:52.000 Because if I stepped on actual poo, I would feel it, I would see it, and I would smell it. 0.99
00:43:57.000 When you step on dog shit, it reeks up everywhere you go and you gotta leave your shoes outside and spray them down. 1.00
00:44:03.000 That's a big deal. 1.00
00:44:05.000 Stepping on actual poo. 0.99
00:44:07.000 Now if you're referring to like poo powder, like basically shit was there at some point, that powder just falls off. 0.98
00:44:15.000 Like when I walk from outside into my home, I'm not really tracking anything into the house. 0.91
00:44:20.000 There's no, all the powder of the dirt of the city has fallen off. 0.72
00:44:25.000 Now I think it's gross to wear flip-flops because inevitably there is a moment where you touch poo, or a syringe, or all kinds, or you just get filthy feet and we all have to look at your black toes. 0.99
00:44:39.000 But no, I don't track shit. 0.99
00:44:41.000 You're talking about microscopic amounts. 0.99
00:44:44.000 And my kids don't jump up and down on the pillows in my bed.
00:44:50.000 We have a Tempur-Pedic mattress.
00:44:51.000 And third, kids wear bare feet all over the place. 0.99
00:44:55.000 So the kids are bringing in probably more dog shit into the house than I am. 0.99
00:45:01.000 And they're putting it directly on my pillow. 0.99
00:45:03.000 I don't put my feet on the bed.
00:45:04.000 But I don't like the look of socks.
00:45:06.000 I used to hate that in parties in Canada, where everyone would show up, there'd be a big pile of shoes at the front, and you're trying to mack on a girl in socks. 0.83
00:45:15.000 It just doesn't work. 0.99
00:45:15.000 They look kind of cute in socks, unless they have like a dress on, and they just have like pantyhose with their stupid feet there with no shoes. 0.99
00:45:24.000 Like a whole dress that hinges around knee-high boots, and then the knee-high boots are off, so they're just like, they got those stupid nylon toes. 0.99
00:45:31.000 Um, but yeah, being a dude and hanging around a party in socks is just a bad look. 0.93
00:45:36.000 Sounds like the entire thing that you just said was a Cosby bit. 0.97
00:45:41.000 The poo is a poo powder, you see.
00:45:43.000 Falls off of the foot.
00:45:45.000 But the children's little feet, they step in the poo.
00:45:49.000 Then you can't talk to the girls when you got the socks on. 0.90
00:45:53.000 Because you don't feel cool. 1.00
00:45:55.000 So you drug them and then you rape their ass. 1.00
00:45:58.000 No woman wants to talk to a man in the socks. 1.00
00:46:02.000 It's just a mathematical fact.
00:46:05.000 Unless she's high.
00:46:07.000 Unless she's unconscious, though.
00:46:11.000 I think we're out of time, Ryguy.
00:46:12.000 I think so, too.
00:46:14.000 I would like to- Oh, wait.
00:46:16.000 Let's do one more.
00:46:18.000 I was on Face- This is Slacker Chief, he calls himself.
00:46:20.000 I was on Facebook on my page and made a post using the informative information... What?
00:46:26.000 Uh-oh.
00:46:28.000 Whoops.
00:46:29.000 And a pic of Ryan hosting your show from your Pepsi story from the last podcast.
00:46:33.000 I got a month-long ban for a Pepsi joke.
00:46:36.000 Also, here is a ban name.
00:46:38.000 Fecal Occult Blood Test.
00:46:40.000 So wait, what's going on here? 1.00
00:46:41.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:46:42.000 That was crazy. 1.00
00:46:43.000 So you hosted my show?
00:46:46.000 Yeah.
00:46:47.000 With the Gavin McKenna Show?
00:46:49.000 Yeah.
00:46:50.000 Yeah.
00:46:50.000 Twice.
00:46:51.000 Oh.
00:46:54.000 You don't remember that.
00:46:57.000 So only you can see this post.
00:46:59.000 So he posted a picture of you reading the mail.
00:47:02.000 I remember that. 1.00
00:47:03.000 You did that for your stupid, give me money again. 1.00
00:47:05.000 Oh, no, no, no. 1.00
00:47:05.000 I did not do that. 1.00
00:47:06.000 And then he wrote for public with the picture. 0.99
00:47:08.000 He wrote, I didn't know that Pepsi could be used as a derogatory word towards French Canadians in bread, white trash. 0.99
00:47:14.000 I'll have to use it next time I see one. 0.99
00:47:17.000 So he got banned for that.
00:47:18.000 Wow.
00:47:18.000 Well, at least that's unique.
00:47:21.000 You're usually allowed to say whatever you want about white people. 0.99
00:47:23.000 That's crazy, man. 0.98
00:47:25.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
00:47:26.000 Alright, folks, that's it.
00:47:28.000 I'll see you soon, and remember, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.