Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - #143 | I hate the New York Times

00:00:00.000 I hate the New York Times.

00:00:02.000 It's shocking too when you hear people who don't hate it.

00:00:06.000 You sort of go, oh you didn't get the memo?

00:00:08.000 Like they think that it's still the New York Times that it was in the 50s.

00:00:13.000 When, who was it, Punch Sulzberger?

00:00:16.000 It's Arthur Sulzberger Jr., his son who took it over.

00:00:19.000 They call him Pinch to make fun of him.

00:00:23.000 But yeah, it was flushed down the toilet a long time ago.

00:00:27.000 Early 2000s is when it really was done.

00:00:30.000 Bill McGowan wrote a book called Coloring the News, and he talked about the way they report and how bad they are at it.

00:00:36.000 Like that guy, what was his name, Amadou Diallo?

00:00:41.000 um he was shot about 50 times and including in the bottom of his feet and um yeah and the story was that the cops the implication was the cops were just like let's go hunting negros die boy and then after he's down they're just like shooting at his feet

00:01:02.000 That was the Times' version, and then, you know, they put cops in danger when they make up lies like that. 0.99

00:01:07.000 The truth was, I think it was in the Bronx, and, uh, the Bronx is a fucking... 1.00

00:01:15.000 Shithole. 1.00

00:01:16.000 The Bronx, the South Bronx in particular, is an absolute war zone. 1.00

00:01:22.000 If you're a cop there right now, you are a dead man. 0.51

00:01:25.000 I was talking to a guy whose brother's a cop the other day, and he said that he heard guys talking on their walkie-talkies about killing him. 0.99

00:01:33.000 Like, yo, there's a cop on my, uh, on my corner right now. 1.00

00:01:36.000 Should I just shoot him from here, or should I go up and blow his head off? 1.00

00:01:40.000 He's like, hey guys, I'm on the same radio. 1.00

00:01:43.000 I can hear you.

00:01:46.000 Now one time I went away, well last time I went away to Jamaica, I came back and I had a week's, ten days worth of New York Posts, and I just started flipping through them all, and you get a really interesting perspective on New York when you read ten New York Posts in a row.

00:02:01.000 And the perspective I got was, uh, this place is on fire!

00:02:07.000 Like they had stories, there was at least three every paper, and the Post doesn't have that many stories.

00:02:14.000 And it was like guys getting knocked out in the knockout game and then kids just running their pockets, I believe it's called, where you go up to an unconscious or possibly dead person and you take all his money and his cell phone and everything.

00:02:28.000 It was like one like that every day.

00:02:29.000 Fires, gang warfare.

00:02:32.000 There's still a lot of gangs in New York.

00:02:34.000 DDP, Dominicans Don't Play! 1.00

00:02:40.000 And by the way, the actual shape of the New York Post is so much less

00:02:44.000 You're more pretentious and intrusive than the New York Times.

00:02:47.000 You read the New York Times in the train, it's basically like opening an umbrella indoors.

00:02:52.000 You're in everyone's grill.

00:02:54.000 You're in everyone's face.

00:02:56.000 And you've got it all spread out. 0.99

00:02:58.000 It's like you're unfolding a fucking map on the subway. 0.99

00:03:00.000 The New York Post is just you. 0.99

00:03:02.000 You're not impinging on anyone else's personal freedom.

00:03:06.000 You're not liberal spreading.

00:03:10.000 But yeah, they reported the shooting of Amadou Diallo like it was some sort of sport.

00:03:16.000 And it was the Bronx.

00:03:17.000 There was a rash of shootings.

00:03:18.000 A bunch of officers got placed on special duty to try to take down the murderings that were going on.

00:03:24.000 They see someone acting suspicious.

00:03:25.000 I think he was illegal.

00:03:26.000 I'm not sure.

00:03:27.000 But he was from Guinea.

00:03:31.000 Or maybe he was... Yeah, he's from Liberia originally.

00:03:34.000 And he's acting weird, probably because he's a sketched out African immigrant and doesn't know what's going on. 1.00

00:03:39.000 Probably in his home country, cops actually do hunt for sport.

00:03:43.000 I bet.

00:03:44.000 So anyway, he's acting weird and they're like, show your hands, show your hands!

00:03:49.000 And then he's acting even weirder.

00:03:50.000 I think he was like messing with the lock of a building where there had been murders.

00:03:55.000 And it was just, he couldn't get his keys right. 0.86

00:03:57.000 I'm not saying it was fun to shoot him or it was cool to shoot him, but he was acting very weird.

00:03:57.000 He was innocent by the way.

00:04:02.000 And the police just followed their training.

00:04:03.000 Put your hands up, put your hands up.

00:04:05.000 He refused to put his hands up or do anything.

00:04:06.000 He kept staring at them.

00:04:07.000 Then she gets into the lobby of the building.

00:04:09.000 And then at the 11th hour, he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his black wallet.

00:04:14.000 In a way that was gun-like.

00:04:16.000 You know, thrusting it forward.

00:04:18.000 And they all just panicked, went... And yes, he was shot way too many times.

00:04:22.000 41 shots, 19 struck him.

00:04:25.000 Somewhere in the bottom of his feet.

00:04:27.000 The detail everyone leaves out is that these all happened in about four or five seconds.

00:04:34.000 This was not a long cowboy movie shootout.

00:04:38.000 Minor detail there, New York Times.

00:04:41.000 But stories like that ruined them.

00:04:45.000 And then they just got worse and worse. 0.96

00:04:46.000 I remember there was this story that I read about straight men who meet for blowjobs in some soccer parking lot. 0.77

00:04:53.000 I've been trying to find this ever since.

00:04:56.000 And I'm sure it's happened.

00:04:58.000 I'm sure guys in straight marriages with kids who live in the burbs go and get a beach. 0.98

00:05:04.000 Closeted fags exist, sure. 1.00

00:05:08.000 But the tone of this New York Times article was that it's a trend and you could smell between the lines that it was just a fuck you to families. 0.99

00:05:18.000 Like there's this, if you read it there, there's a lot of single mothers on pedestals and women's sisters doing it for themselves and then a lot of anti-family stuff that you read and a lot of anti-capitalist, pro-socialist stuff like charter schools. 1.00

00:05:31.000 Everything you read about charter schools in the Times is shit. 0.85

00:05:34.000 And my favorite headline ever was, though charter schools thrive, they're not available to everyone or they're still not for everyone. 0.99

00:05:44.000 And that's a double entendre, right?

00:05:45.000 Still not for everyone, meaning like spicy foods are not for everyone.

00:05:49.000 No, no, no.

00:05:50.000 What they actually...

00:05:52.000 Mean is not everyone can get into a charter school because they're rare. 0.97

00:05:57.000 Because there's so many shitty public schools in New York.

00:06:00.000 And if you want to see how bad public schools are, just text anyone who grew up in New York City. 0.98

00:06:05.000 Just text them.

00:06:07.000 And you will see the dollar sign on the other side of the 20 and other shocking mistakes.

00:06:14.000 Working class people of New York have been deprived an education. 0.99

00:06:19.000 And it's because of the shitty public schools. 0.95

00:06:21.000 And charter schools could save that, but the Times doesn't like that. 1.00

00:06:25.000 And it sucks. 0.98

00:06:25.000 They hate it too, because blacks thrive in Harlem at charter schools, and that's not part of the narrative. 0.98

00:06:30.000 We can't have the free market helping poor black people. 1.00

00:06:33.000 Those are our pets. 0.98

00:06:34.000 And we use them to push socialism.

00:06:37.000 Don't go stealing my doggies, says the Times.

00:06:40.000 And then they got so bad that they went bankrupt.

00:06:43.000 Carlos Slim had to bail them out.

00:06:45.000 He's a guy who makes money every time an illegal sends money home or calls his family.

00:06:49.000 He gets a cut and he's since become one of the richest men in the world.

00:06:53.000 And he bailed them out.

00:06:55.000 It's not free when someone bills you out, by the way.

00:06:57.000 Jeff Bezos buys the Washington Post and all his Trump gripes come out through the pages.

00:07:03.000 Carlos Slim buys the New York Times.

00:07:05.000 And first of all, there's like three glowing pieces on Carlos Slim and how awesome he is.

00:07:12.000 And then there's all these stories about how illegals are awesome and we're way too hard on them and yada, yada, yada. 1.00

00:07:18.000 You know, changing the narrative.

00:07:20.000 That's why people buy newspapers. 0.55

00:07:23.000 So, I had a guy call me from the New York Times recently, and I don't think people understand that when you are being, when you get a call from the New York Times, it's not like a guy in a suit anymore.

00:07:38.000 It's a teenage, no, I was gonna say, it's a teenage mutant ninja turtle.

00:07:44.000 Because I'm looking up emails as I talk, and my wires got crossed.

00:07:53.000 It's a social justice warrior.

00:07:56.000 It's a little kid.

00:07:58.000 And their sources are usually Antifa and Quilliam and the same social justice warriors that drive you nuts.

00:08:09.000 So I got a call from this guy, Rob Kuznia.

00:08:12.000 K-U-Z-N-I-A. 1.00

00:08:13.000 I think it's a Polish name. 0.98

00:08:16.000 And, uh, he says, I want to talk to you about, uh, I'm doing a thing on masturbation and porn and, and Proud Boys are mentioned in it.

00:08:25.000 And I understand you're not with them anymore.

00:08:27.000 That's correct.

00:08:28.000 I've been forbidden by the FBI from hanging out with my friends.

00:08:32.000 Um, but would you still talk on that?

00:08:34.000 I mean, you came up with the idea.

00:08:35.000 Yes, I did.

00:08:35.000 I'm happy to talk about it.

00:08:37.000 And I send them to officialproudboys.com because there's a lot of myth busting there.

00:08:41.000 And then he proceeds to send me emails with myths in them that are busted on the site.

00:08:49.000 Um, so he says, he says, I was actually, uh, interested in something based on this article.

00:08:56.000 And then he shows me an article that was in, uh, what's it called?

00:09:01.000 Medium.

00:09:02.000 Now medium is a site where they'll just publish absolutely anything by anyone.

00:09:06.000 So it's like Twitter basically.

00:09:08.000 But yet the New York times seems to see it as a news source.

00:09:13.000 So he shows me this article.

00:09:15.000 And first of all, I'm really interested in porn and what it does to your brain, and I think that's a cool thing to write an article about, right? 0.99

00:09:27.000 I've said this a million times, but I think porn in a marriage, when you're in the doghouse, you go beat off to a bunch of tens and you no longer give a shit that you're sleeping on the couch. 0.97

00:09:36.000 And I think it leads slowly to divorce because couples separate. 0.99

00:09:41.000 I think it's bad for millennial men, especially now when they're seen as a bunch of rapists. 0.99

00:09:47.000 and they think hmm I could be me too'd and end up like that guy who fucked a mattress girl in the ass and ended up being known as a rapist and it ruined his life because she carried a mattress around with no real trial or Kale Hartman who was also framed or Terry Richardson or Dove Charney the list goes on and on Anthony Cumia got framed 0.99

00:10:11.000 So I could just stay at home and beat off and not talk to chicks. 0.99

00:10:14.000 So they get out of the running too. 0.95

00:10:16.000 The next thing you know, porn has ruined humanity.

00:10:20.000 But the way we, so those are all the serious things.

00:10:23.000 And every time someone brings it up, I suggest they see the documentary, Your Brain on Porn.

00:10:27.000 And then I suggest they check out the NoFap. 0.98

00:10:30.000 Those guys are super serious about it.

00:10:32.000 The way we got to it, I mean, me and Proud Boys and everyone else, is a lark.

00:10:38.000 I had comedian Dante Nero on my show.

00:10:41.000 We were joking around, as is our want, and we were talking about not beating off, and this is a, we did this in high school, we'd have challenges, and it was all, you know, it was all, what's it called, honor system.

00:10:56.000 You would just say, I blew it last night, literally.

00:11:02.000 Or Seinfeld, it was a Seinfeld episode. 0.77

00:11:03.000 So it's just a silly game, right?

00:11:04.000 And I said, I could do 10 days.

00:11:06.000 And Dante goes, I'll do 30 days. 1.00

00:11:09.000 And I go, fine, you're on, bitch. 1.00

00:11:12.000 So we did it as a bet. 0.99

00:11:14.000 And then I would correspond with Dante a lot and I was, I'd say, Hey dude, have you noticed that you're like singing in the shower and skipping when you walk down the street and you feel like you could beat up anyone in the world and you're totally comfortable talking to anyone at any time, even if you're hung over in the morning on the train?

00:11:30.000 He's like, yep.

00:11:32.000 And then he became my sponsor.

00:11:36.000 And I would text him and I think he would text me too, I can't remember, but I'd say, dude, I blew it last night.

00:11:42.000 I fell off the horse.

00:11:43.000 And he'd be like, oh, you just got to get right back on.

00:11:45.000 You can do this.

00:11:48.000 And yeah, it improved my marriage, improved everything.

00:11:51.000 It made me fight better in the gym.

00:11:53.000 It just, it makes you a better person. 0.98

00:11:54.000 Of course you're going to fuck up once in a while, especially if you're sick or something, but generally it's a good goal. 0.99

00:12:01.000 Interesting story, right? 0.99

00:12:02.000 Okay, there's your story.

00:12:03.000 We got it.

00:12:04.000 And you could look up, like, there is data on how much porn leads to divorce.

00:12:08.000 So, you got your story there.

00:12:09.000 That's not this guy's angle.

00:12:11.000 Rob Kuznia seems to have a different plan.

00:12:13.000 He sends me to some chick on Medium who has a big article about Nazis.

00:12:23.000 Yes. 0.95

00:12:24.000 It is now anti-Semitic to be against porn. 0.99

00:12:32.000 And her article said, uh, said, you know, uh, a lot of the Nazis talk about how Jews dominate American porn and how you're letting the Jew destroy the American family by masturbating. 1.00

00:12:48.000 Again, it's the all cats are mammals, all dogs are mammals, all dogs are cats bullshit. 1.00

00:12:53.000 Hitler used toilet paper. 1.00

00:12:54.000 I use toilet paper. 0.98

00:12:55.000 Ergo, I'm a Nazi.

00:12:58.000 And I said, of all the... I just bombarded this reporter.

00:13:02.000 I think he may have killed the story now. 0.51

00:13:03.000 Because my last email to him was, dude, I smoked you.

00:13:07.000 But...

00:13:10.000 There's so many things wrong with that. 0.99

00:13:12.000 Yes, it's true that Nazis think that porn is a Jew thing. 0.99

00:13:16.000 Great. 0.99

00:13:16.000 Wonderful. 0.99

00:13:19.000 I'm against porn in Turkey. 0.98

00:13:20.000 I'm against Canadian porn. 0.91

00:13:24.000 Does that matter? 0.90

00:13:26.000 What about German porn? 0.98

00:13:27.000 Is that run by German Jews? 1.00

00:13:30.000 Also, the term wanker has been an insult for centuries. 0.59

00:13:36.000 Ever heard of Harry Palms?

00:13:38.000 And then this woman, see if I can find it here, I can't seem to dig it up. 1.00

00:13:43.000 But this woman goes off on this tangent about how there's this massive agenda, right? 1.00

00:13:49.000 And what they're really trying to do is control your brain.

00:13:55.000 So you say, in Proud Boys for example, you say,

00:13:59.000 Okay, you can't, you can't, uh... Sorry, I'm trying to find this text.

00:14:06.000 Okay, you can't beat off.

00:14:08.000 Now, she claims, when the man has the desire, instead of thinking about naked ladies, he's thinking about the group.

00:14:15.000 So it's a way to replace lust with allegiance to the gang.

00:14:20.000 What?

00:14:21.000 What?

00:14:23.000 I gotta just take a little sexist moment here to say that I've noticed a pattern with females in writing where they don't really get to the point. 1.00

00:14:32.000 And you read an article written by a woman and it is often way too verbose. 0.94

00:14:38.000 It looks like the notes for an article.

00:14:40.000 Like Cathy Young just wrote a hit piece on Dave Rubin that's pretty timid.

00:14:45.000 And it's like 5,000 words.

00:14:47.000 It just goes on and on and on and on.

00:14:49.000 And you're reading it going, what's your point?

00:14:51.000 I don't know where you're going with this.

00:14:54.000 If you can't say something in a thousand words, it's probably not worth saying.

00:14:59.000 And you think, okay, you've written out your general thoughts and this is a sort of a giant bucket where you've thrown in all your notes and every one you've interviewed.

00:15:07.000 Now let that sit for 24 hours and then write your article.

00:15:09.000 You want to write a good article?

00:15:10.000 I was a columnist for 15 years.

00:15:12.000 Write it.

00:15:14.000 Then delete it.

00:15:16.000 Wait 24 hours and then write it again.

00:15:18.000 And you will have ironed out all the kinks and contradictions and come up with new points.

00:15:24.000 Oh god, my back's so itchy!

00:15:28.000 So, she writes this article.

00:15:31.000 I gotta find it, man.

00:15:34.000 And makes this all like she just crowbars. 0.50

00:15:37.000 Sorry.

00:15:37.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:37.000 Sorry.

00:15:37.000 I was doing a sexist tangent.

00:15:39.000 So yeah, it's it's it's just nattering on and on with no real point.

00:15:43.000 It's just a big pile of data.

00:15:45.000 Now that being said, most of my favorite columnists are female. 1.00

00:15:49.000 Ann Coulter, Naomi Schafer-Riley.

00:15:52.000 Some of my favorite writers, book writers, are also women. 0.91

00:15:56.000 Like the woman who wrote Unbroken.

00:16:02.000 Wait a minute, what's this book called?

00:16:04.000 Unbroken... Laura Hildebrand, that's her name.

00:16:08.000 Or the Great Boar War book. 0.99

00:16:12.000 Shut up. 0.98

00:16:14.000 What's... What's her name? 0.99

00:16:18.000 Oh, Hero of the Empire, that's it.

00:16:20.000 Hero of the Empire.

00:16:24.000 That was a book about Churchill, and that was written by Candace Millard.

00:16:28.000 So, yes.

00:16:30.000 Though I wouldn't be surprised if half of my favorite authors are female.

00:16:34.000 That being said, generally, female writers tend to be rambling messes. 1.00

00:16:39.000 And, I see you found it.

00:16:43.000 Yeah.

00:16:43.000 Is that it?

00:16:44.000 Lux Alpatrom?

00:16:46.000 What kind of name is that?

00:16:47.000 Futuristic Space Woman. 0.99

00:16:52.000 Why are the Proud Boys so obsessed with not masturbating? 0.85

00:16:57.000 Who says they're obsessed? 1.00

00:16:59.000 Like, even your fucking shit title is garbage. 1.00

00:17:03.000 And this is on Medium, and it's some, like, sex writer. 1.00

00:17:06.000 By the way, when someone says they're a sex writer, they're almost always shitty in bed. 1.00

00:17:11.000 And if a girl is shy and doesn't really want to get into it, she tends to be a fucking rocket in the sack. 1.00

00:17:17.000 So, just keep that in mind. 1.00

00:17:19.000 If someone is a tit columnist, they have shitty tits. 1.00

00:17:21.000 But this girl with the made-up name Lux Alpatran has taken... What is she, uh... 1.00

00:17:28.000 Wife of the sea, mother of dragons, she, her.

00:17:30.000 Yeah, that's when someone says their pronouns in their write-up, it means I'm lonely.

00:17:36.000 Here are the pronouns to use when you talk to me because no one talks to me.

00:17:41.000 So yeah, masturbation bans are popular among organizations that seek to enhance group loyalty.

00:17:47.000 Yeah, that's the goal.

00:17:48.000 So both the head and the subhead have errors in them. 0.97

00:17:52.000 The head says, why are they so obsessed with not masturbating? 0.94

00:17:54.000 That's just false. 0.98

00:17:55.000 It's a joke.

00:17:56.000 It's a dare.

00:17:57.000 It's a game.

00:17:58.000 They also, we also say, no flip-flops.

00:18:01.000 In fact, there's Proud Boys with shirts that have flip-flops and cargo shorts crossed out.

00:18:06.000 Why are the Proud Boys so obsessed with flip-flops?

00:18:08.000 Fear of men's feet show a deep, latent homophobia. 0.99

00:18:12.000 Like, they start with this bizarre hypothesis, and then, like a snowplow, just go... through information to get to the end, pushing out anything that doesn't fit their stupid hypothesis. 0.98

00:18:26.000 Masturbation bans are popular among organizations that seek to enhance group loyalty. 0.99

00:18:31.000 Says who? 0.65

00:18:32.000 And you know what else annoys me about this?

00:18:34.000 It's that academic writing where they basically in school you could say anything. 0.99

00:18:42.000 Hippopotamuses are gay. 0.98

00:18:45.000 And you just need three supporting paragraphs. 0.99

00:18:47.000 And it's, they're really not trying to prove a hippopotamus is gay.

00:18:50.000 They're just showing you how to make an argument.

00:18:52.000 You need this hypothesis, then your three supporting paragraphs, and then your conclusion.

00:18:56.000 And it's just, it's basically practicing debate. 1.00

00:18:58.000 But then these people leave school, and they use that stupid hippo gay shit to crowbar in their own lies. 1.00

00:19:06.000 And the next thing you know, they're trying, they got a picture of me, and they're talking about how fucking the KKK was against masturbation too. 1.00

00:19:16.000 Anyway, this makes me just hammer that fucking guy. 0.99

00:19:20.000 And I point out to him that this cunt Lex Albatreen, whatever her name is, I go through her Twitter. 0.99

00:19:27.000 And by the way, Twitter has ruined left-wing journalists who solicit people for stories and say, hey, I'm a totally impartial journalist. 0.96

00:19:34.000 I'd love to talk to you.

00:19:35.000 Then you go to their Twitter and it's just Trump bashing and climate change and trans this. 1.00

00:19:40.000 And in amongst her Twitter, I find some guy who yelled Nazi at me at a fucking children's baseball game. 0.99

00:19:47.000 And I go, this is your source, New York Times. 0.99

00:19:50.000 God, I was listening to Howard Stern talk about the New York Times.

00:19:54.000 And he said, it's a gift from God.

00:19:55.000 The world would be much better off.

00:19:57.000 It's an incredible institution. 0.99

00:20:00.000 He's such a bourgeois prick. 0.98

00:20:03.000 He's also the same guy who threw Alex Jones under the bus. 0.99

00:20:05.000 Mr. Free Speech goes, well, you know, free speech isn't free.

00:20:09.000 It doesn't include hate speech and it doesn't include lying.

00:20:12.000 And he brought up Sandy Hook.

00:20:13.000 This is seven years after Alex Jones had made that mistake.

00:20:18.000 Howard Stern.

00:20:21.000 And by the way, Bill McGowan wrote another book about the New York Times that is much more conclusive and it's called Grey Lady Down.

00:20:30.000 And maybe it's because I've read both of those books that when I hear people talking about the New York Times and not laughing I go, what?

00:20:35.000 How can you not know?

00:20:40.000 Didn't you get the memo?

00:20:42.000 It's like the SPLC.

00:20:43.000 Like there was a story in Spokane, Washington that was written and it made it to the Associated Press and it was, 0.98

00:20:51.000 Hate has a resurgence in the Pacific Northwest and of course they use the same picture that this bitch uses in Medium just basically because when you go to Getty Images and you look up Proud Boys you see this cool picture of me looking incredibly stylish with my skull and crossbones tie holding my fist up by the way and saying Uhuru at a Berkeley free speech rally where Ann Coulter had been banned so I read her speech and this is used as an example of the neo-fascist whatever stupid terms they come up with. 0.98

00:21:19.000 And they use my picture for that.

00:21:21.000 And they do this thing where they include all these bonafide Nazi groups, and then they throw in Proud Boys and other ones that aren't Nazis.

00:21:27.000 And that, you know, to the incurious, it all looks like the same thing.

00:21:30.000 Luckily, the comments were really good, and I had my lawyers contact them and change the picture.

00:21:39.000 But the Times, the Times, this is how they do journalism.

00:21:43.000 So when you're reading these articles, know that the sources that they're using are from Medium, Twitter, Antifa.

00:21:53.000 Um.

00:21:55.000 So he says, yeah, I was hoping to talk to you about how, according to what I've read, members of the Proud Boys must restrict their porn use to once a month.

00:22:03.000 I wanted to ask about this and other related matters.

00:22:06.000 By the way, here are the rules that we came up with.

00:22:08.000 You may beat off once a month.

00:22:11.000 Two porn on your own. 0.99

00:22:14.000 Otherwise, every single time you ejaculate, it has to be within one yard of a lady with her consent. 1.00

00:22:20.000 We didn't apply this thing to gays because they don't seem to have a problem getting off the couch and getting laid. 0.95

00:22:25.000 This is for straight males.

00:22:27.000 And well, what if my wife's pregnant? 1.00

00:22:29.000 Well, maybe she can just like touch your balls or something while you rub one out. 1.00

00:22:34.000 At least you're retaining your relationship. 1.00

00:22:36.000 You're establishing intimacy.

00:22:38.000 That's what it's really about.

00:22:39.000 Establishing intimacy. 0.71

00:22:41.000 It's not about brainwashing you to hate Jews. 1.00

00:22:44.000 Like what the fuck? 1.00

00:22:46.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:22:50.000 So I said to him, sure I'll talk to you, blah blah blah.

00:22:53.000 I said, has it ever occurred to any of you, and by the way I also said, whenever I start these discussions with a journalist, especially from left-wing media like the New York Times, I try to start out nice.

00:23:02.000 Because journalists are petty. 1.00

00:23:05.000 And when you start out going, you're a fucking joke. 0.99

00:23:08.000 They sit behind the typewriter and these little beta male nerds, who are relatively anonymous, 1.00

00:23:14.000 They get their revenge and they're like, this blumbering fool was drunk and hungover and he came swinging in smelling of bad B.O. 0.99

00:23:23.000 or whatever. 1.00

00:23:23.000 They just throw in a bunch of bullshit to get revenge. 1.00

00:23:26.000 So I try to be nice but it never lasts. 0.99

00:23:29.000 And inevitably I end up saying the words, you people.

00:23:33.000 Meaning the left.

00:23:35.000 I had to clarify that too.

00:23:37.000 In case he was Jewish and he thought I was being anti-semitic.

00:23:40.000 Um...

00:23:42.000 I said I'm tired of media calling everyone who doesn't abide by the latest lefty fads quote-unquote far right.

00:23:49.000 Proud Boys are multi-racial, multi-ethnic, gays, Jews, couldn't care less about gay marriage, want to legalize drugs, many atheists and outright hedonists, etc, etc. 0.91

00:23:56.000 Stop being such a drama queen. 0.86

00:23:59.000 I said if you don't play baseball, you're not anti-baseball.

00:24:08.000 Reese Seinfeld.

00:24:09.000 And then he's trying to be friendly.

00:24:10.000 Is the origin the episode where the characters have an abstinence contest?

00:24:14.000 I think Seinfeld won.

00:24:15.000 They always do this too.

00:24:16.000 They're all buddy-buddy with you. 0.96

00:24:18.000 It's like pedophiles.

00:24:19.000 With the van and the candy.

00:24:21.000 And they come out and they're like, hey buddy!

00:24:23.000 Oh yeah, I remember that Seinfeld.

00:24:25.000 I think Seinfeld won! 1.00

00:24:27.000 Anyway, you're dope. 1.00

00:24:31.000 Fuck off. 1.00

00:24:32.000 I'm not looking for friends. 1.00

00:24:33.000 I've been down this road a million times.

00:24:35.000 I remember one journalist I sat with at the Village Voice.

00:24:38.000 Another thing they do too is they lead boring lives and they have no exciting friends.

00:24:43.000 They live in their little media bubble and hang out with their interns.

00:24:46.000 So they want to get beers with you.

00:24:48.000 Especially if you're interesting.

00:24:50.000 So this guy I sat with, it was after work and I was already at the bar anyway, but it ended up being like seven hours total.

00:24:56.000 And I explained everything and I made it clear who I am and what I believe in and blah, blah, blah, which is just a normal dad.

00:25:02.000 And the article came out and it said, Gavin McInnes totally, totally, really badly wants you to think he's not a white supremacist.

00:25:10.000 And this is after he'd been all buddy, buddy, hanging out and ugh.

00:25:17.000 I said, it's a very old dare among normal men.

00:25:22.000 Uh, what else did I say? 0.83

00:25:26.000 Um, oh, and then, and then he talks about, well, they, he shows me some link where some Stormfront guy was shitting on Al Goldstein. 0.99

00:25:35.000 Al Goldstein is like a seventies porn guy. 0.97

00:25:38.000 I'm very familiar with Al Goldstein and his pornography was not pushed by his Judaism. 0.99

00:25:45.000 His pornography was pushed by his corrupt background because he's a mafia dude. 0.94

00:25:51.000 He's much more linked to Italians than he is to Jews. 0.61

00:25:54.000 Al Goldstein grew up in what is now Red Hook in the 50s and 60s where it was totally normal to see a dead body on the street.

00:26:03.000 Check out the book Growing Up Mafia and if you open up the picture section in the middle he's all over it smoking his big fat cigars.

00:26:13.000 So if you had to blame anyone on Al Goldstein's New York City pornography, it would be the mafia.

00:26:20.000 And again, how do you explain other countries and pornography? 0.95

00:26:24.000 Pornography fucks up your marriage if you live in Utrecht. 0.99

00:26:29.000 That's got nothing to do with Jews. 1.00

00:26:33.000 I said to him, this is why that article and leftist thinking in general is shit. 0.99

00:26:38.000 You people, and I've already gone to you people, take an innocuous detail and puff it up into some kind of sinister trait. 1.00

00:26:44.000 It's because you tend to be over-educated pussies. 1.00

00:26:46.000 Well, I'm not really making any friends here, am I? 0.99

00:26:49.000 With no true understanding of what real people are like.

00:26:52.000 If you're not invited to the party or if the party goers don't take you seriously, it must mean the new Hitler youth has arrived. 0.91

00:26:59.000 Normal, boring fact that all clubs say.

00:27:02.000 If you don't come to meetings, you're not a Proud Boy.

00:27:04.000 This isn't an online club.

00:27:05.000 It's not virtual.

00:27:06.000 It's real.

00:27:07.000 That's me talking about the rules for the club and how they're not sinister. 0.97

00:27:15.000 And by the way, if you do beat off and you're in the Proud Boys, nothing fucking happens. 0.97

00:27:20.000 We don't burn you with the logo. 0.98

00:27:25.000 And then I said, ridiculous academic interpretation, colon, the far right men's club only, men's only club demands its members eschew social media and focus on in-person meetings while elder members can control the discussion.

00:27:36.000 See, I'm, I'm saying a normal thing about a men's club, which is if you don't go to meetings, then you're not in it.

00:27:42.000 And then I'm showing how they would interpret that.

00:27:45.000 You must focus on in-person meetings where elder members can control the discussion.

00:27:49.000 Members inevitably become cut off from their other friends, and the club becomes their only contact with the outside world.

00:27:58.000 And then he starts distancing himself from the woman who wrote the piece, saying, It sounds like me.

00:28:02.000 Her piece isn't very accurate.

00:28:04.000 In any case, my interest isn't in her interpretation, but rather in some of these parallel movements among disparate conservative right-wing groups to swear off point- Why are they so obsessed?

00:28:13.000 With the far right.

00:28:16.000 Or what they call the far right. 1.00

00:28:17.000 Why don't they give a fuck about Islam? 1.00

00:28:19.000 They talk about hate groups and hate gangs in New York. 1.00

00:28:24.000 Nary a peep about actual gangs and MS-13.

00:28:27.000 You know how many black men are murdered a day in gang warfare?

00:28:31.000 About 20. 0.78

00:28:32.000 Yet the media jumps to heather higher again and again and again.

00:28:37.000 You know why? 0.99

00:28:38.000 Because they don't really give a shit about the truth or hate or racism or equality or men dying or gangs or violence. 1.00

00:28:46.000 That's all bullshit. 1.00

00:28:48.000 This is all a silly gay fashion trend to them. 1.00

00:28:53.000 And they have their little group and this week it's pretending everyone's a Nazi. 0.99

00:28:58.000 So that's what they pursue.

00:29:02.000 And I said, if other non-liberal clubs do it, there is no link to us.

00:29:11.000 We're more closely associated with NoFap.

00:29:13.000 I'm repeating myself here.

00:29:14.000 Sorry, I'm telling you things.

00:29:20.000 I know you've rejected white nationalism in the alt-right, but, what's a but?

00:29:25.000 Some leaders, this is him talking, some leaders and elder statesmen of these movements, they're not movements!

00:29:30.000 They're not elder statesmen!

00:29:32.000 It's not a thing!

00:29:34.000 Such as Kevin MacDonald and David Duke.

00:29:36.000 What power do these guys have?

00:29:39.000 How often do they come up in legitimate discourse?

00:29:43.000 When was the last time they went, oh, well that shooting was a David Duke shooting.

00:29:50.000 When are they legislating?

00:29:51.000 What cultural movements do they dominate?

00:29:53.000 This is all about thwarting Trump, you realize.

00:29:55.000 And I don't even think Rob Kuznia and the New York Times know they're doing it.

00:30:00.000 They don't realize they're doing it.

00:30:01.000 They actually have brainwashed themselves into thinking they're these civil rights freedom fighters crusading for justice and preventing Nazis. 0.99

00:30:08.000 And they float along based on some bullshit study that says, actually, white nationalism, terrorism, that kind of terrorism is way more than jihadists. 1.00

00:30:17.000 And they'll find like Christchurch and fucking 1.00

00:30:22.000 What's my call? 0.99

00:30:25.000 Unite the right.

00:30:29.000 Alright, am I done with this?

00:30:32.000 I'm turning into Lenny Bruce.

00:30:36.000 Why, what did he do?

00:30:38.000 When he got into it with his pornography charges, his obscenity charges, he would bring his court documents on stage.

00:30:45.000 And he would just go through like, here's another thing, see?

00:30:48.000 These cats are claiming that I did a violation.

00:30:52.000 I'm turning into Tony Sprantle.

00:30:55.000 It's a violation.

00:30:57.000 And then he would just bore people to death with the semantics of his court case.

00:31:01.000 It's one of those things, everyone's more interested in their court case than anyone else.

00:31:05.000 But I just thought this was a good example of the kind of journalism that goes on today.

00:31:11.000 I mean, look at his sources.

00:31:13.000 And, by the way, there was a great thread on Twitter. 0.95

00:31:16.000 I mentioned it on my Telegram, which is real Gavin McInnes, where this guy looked at thousands and thousands of Twitter journalists, journalists in general on Twitter, and linked them to Antifa and saw how many of them were using Antifa as a source, sometimes the only source, and creating these shit articles that get people fired.

00:31:38.000 You know, I've talked about this many times, but 0.86

00:31:42.000 There's a witch hunt going on, which is pretty bad.

00:31:44.000 But it's a witch hunt run by festering babies. 1.00

00:31:48.000 Losers. 1.00

00:31:49.000 Dumb bitches. 1.00

00:31:51.000 Who say, you want bigots, Kevin? 1.00

00:31:52.000 This is how you get bigots! 0.99

00:31:55.000 Like brats. 0.85

00:31:56.000 It would be one thing if you were up against Gore Vidal. 0.87

00:32:00.000 Or, you know, a liberal of yore.

00:32:03.000 Where they have intellect and they've looked stuff up.

00:32:06.000 And they can, they're saying points that you haven't heard before.

00:32:10.000 I was just thinking today, you know, when people talk about, oh, this is a reputable source, the New York Times or the media, blah, blah, blah, said this about Trump. 0.94

00:32:18.000 You're talking about an era where the media convinced half the country that Donald Trump, the president of the United States, paid prostitutes to piss on a bed that Obama once slept in. 0.96

00:32:32.000 That was a fake document pushed by the Daily Beast and it one day magically became fact because we're living in clown world.

00:32:40.000 Not one person went, yeah, I don't think that sounds... What's your source for that?

00:32:47.000 It's like they have no instincts anymore.

00:32:52.000 And I also said, white supremacist terrorism does not outnumber jihadist attacks. 0.77

00:32:57.000 If you fall for that stat, you're an incurious amateur. 0.99

00:33:01.000 I said, roping Proud Boys into Nazi anti-porn shit is exactly the kind of trick the left uses to pump up the number of alt-right incidences in America. 0.99

00:33:09.000 Catholics are anti-masturbation too. 1.00

00:33:11.000 Are they anti-Semitic?

00:33:13.000 Athletes avoid it, especially before a major competition.

00:33:15.000 Do they hate Jews?

00:33:20.000 And, you know, I used to say, look, tell me something that the Knights of Columbus don't have in common with Proud Boys.

00:33:28.000 Or any other club.

00:33:29.000 It's just men's clubs.

00:33:30.000 They used to be ubiquitous.

00:33:32.000 Now you're a pariah if you're in one.

00:33:34.000 And you have to quit your job.

00:33:36.000 And I can't use that anymore.

00:33:38.000 You know why?

00:33:39.000 Because they are calling the Knights of Columbus a hate group.

00:33:44.000 In fact, I think it was Brett Kavanaugh or some other congressman who was asked, were you aware when you joined a men's only club that it was anti a woman's right to choose?

00:33:59.000 That was her question. 0.97

00:34:01.000 She was talking about the Knights of fucking Columbus, who are obviously Catholic, and yeah, if you're Catholic, you're against abortion. 0.98

00:34:09.000 But instead of saying this, a charity, the Knights of Columbus, 80, I'm in the Knights of Columbus, 80% of what we do is charity. 0.98

00:34:17.000 And when you go to meetings, a third of it is, okay, we got this raffle coming up, is anyone paying their dues?

00:34:23.000 All right, this has to go to the sisters, and they're buying more diapers.

00:34:27.000 Now that's a hate group in today's day and age.

00:34:35.000 Jews tend to dominate medicine. 0.84

00:34:38.000 Are anti-vaxxers anti-semitic?

00:34:43.000 I also said if you pursue the angle that no wanks is in any way linked to anti-semitism, me and the Proud Boys are never gonna let it go.

00:34:54.000 And then I said, do you realize how weird and sad you look digging up the legs of Kevin McDonald and David Duke?

00:35:00.000 Why not go to any campus in America and ask them about Israel?

00:35:04.000 Why not follow Ben Shapiro or Alan Dershowitz or Dennis Prager to a college campus?

00:35:10.000 I said.

00:35:12.000 And it's true. 0.56

00:35:13.000 Or here's another one I didn't include.

00:35:17.000 And by the way, don't do that without security.

00:35:23.000 Because it could get very dangerous.

00:35:25.000 And I didn't say the north of Morocco.

00:35:28.000 I didn't say the north of Lahore, Pakistan.

00:35:30.000 I said the north of Paris. 0.98

00:35:33.000 Then I added, Farrakhan has a box set out with Stevie Wonder and fucking Snoop Dogg. 1.00

00:35:38.000 He also said Jews are termites. 1.00

00:35:40.000 You are focusing on the Covington Catholic school kids doing nothing wrong while the black Hebrew Israelites are right next to them screaming out all the bigotry a New York Times reporter could ever dream of. 0.98

00:35:51.000 That's obviously an analogy.

00:35:56.000 And another thing these journalists do too is they go, I'd love to talk to you.

00:35:59.000 Uh, how about Friday at two?

00:36:02.000 Like back when I did reporting, I would take 24 hours a day.

00:36:06.000 Anytime you want to talk, let's talk right now.

00:36:08.000 Yes, please.

00:36:09.000 You're my story.

00:36:11.000 Why are you scheduling an interview? 0.99

00:36:13.000 It's not 60 fucking minutes. 0.99

00:36:14.000 We're not sitting down with cameras. 0.99

00:36:16.000 You should have your phone next to your bed.

00:36:18.000 If you're in this business, there's no time off.

00:36:20.000 If you're reporting breaking news,

00:36:24.000 And they spend months on these stories, too.

00:36:25.000 I don't know how much they get paid.

00:36:28.000 If a story takes you two months, that means you do six a year.

00:36:31.000 If you're gonna make 60 grand, you get paid 10,000 a story? 0.99

00:36:35.000 That seems like a hell of a lot of fucking money. 0.95

00:36:42.000 I ask because Proud Boys is often mentioned alongside those other individuals in your opinion, but what they have to say is newsworthy. 0.99

00:36:47.000 The piece about various corners of the right is shoe porn for various reasons.

00:36:51.000 The aim isn't to say they're all doing so out of a sense of anti-semitism.

00:36:55.000 I have a fact check.

00:36:56.000 The Medium blog isn't the only article that says the PB has several levels of membership and that swearing off masturbation is one of them.

00:37:04.000 Yeah, again,

00:37:07.000 The group is called Proud Boys.

00:37:09.000 It's named after a gay song in Aladdin.

00:37:12.000 You have to name five breakfast cereals where guys pound you. 0.90

00:37:15.000 They're anti-flip-flops.

00:37:17.000 There's an offshoot of Proud Boys called the Margarita Boys, who wear Hawaiian shirts and drink margaritas all over the world.

00:37:27.000 Has humor occurred to anyone in any of these?

00:37:30.000 No.

00:37:31.000 They say Bizarre Rituals.

00:37:35.000 Is it possible it's funny rituals?

00:37:37.000 And sometimes they just laugh at the name.

00:37:41.000 That name isn't cool.

00:37:42.000 Yeah, it's not the Deadly Tigers.

00:37:46.000 Or Venom Snake.

00:37:48.000 Or Death Wish.

00:37:50.000 Or Skull Givers.

00:37:54.000 We're definitely trying to scare you by calling... Oh, I should... Sorry, I'm not allowed to say that anymore.

00:37:59.000 They're definitely trying to scare you by calling themselves Proud Boys.

00:38:05.000 Oy.

00:38:07.000 Um... What else have I got here?

00:38:11.000 I already said that.

00:38:12.000 Already said that.

00:38:15.000 And then he brings up the whole, what about the fourth degree?

00:38:17.000 Isn't that beating Antifa? 0.99

00:38:20.000 I had to send him a link that is also on officialproudboys.com where it says it's a consolation prize for when you get fucked over. 0.98

00:38:27.000 And it was invented, I believe, the night Trump won. 0.97

00:38:30.000 Because there was some woman, we're in New York City, throwing glass bottles at a couple who were wearing MAGA hats. 0.94

00:38:35.000 They were there for our party.

00:38:36.000 We rented a bar that night.

00:38:38.000 And a hell of a party when Trump won.

00:38:41.000 And they pushed her for throwing glass at them. 0.99

00:38:45.000 Cops showed up and threw everyone in the tombs.

00:38:48.000 And they stayed there for, I think, 24 hours.

00:38:55.000 And they missed Trump's inauguration.

00:38:57.000 They missed Trump becoming president.

00:39:00.000 So, we said, you're fourth degree now.

00:39:02.000 Again, there's a sense of humor in there.

00:39:05.000 By the way, the guy who was in prison, in the tombs, in jail that night, he told me that all the black dudes that were with him thought they're never getting out. 1.00

00:39:14.000 That's how brainwashed they are by all these bullshit Nazi lies. 0.99

00:39:18.000 So, day one, Trump goes, alright, everyone in every country, everyone in every country, I can't do a good Trump. 1.00

00:39:29.000 Everyone locked up.

00:39:30.000 Everyone locked up. 0.99

00:39:31.000 Especially the blacks. 1.00

00:39:33.000 You're gonna stay there, frankly. 1.00

00:39:34.000 Just throw away the key.

00:39:35.000 You're gonna spend a long time.

00:39:38.000 You got a Jay Walker in there?

00:39:40.000 He's just sentenced to life.

00:39:43.000 Seem reasonable?

00:39:44.000 That's not even a good fictional movie line. 0.98

00:39:48.000 If you saw that in a movie, you'd go, this movie sucks. 0.98

00:39:51.000 So basically, the far left is living in a shitty movie. 1.00

00:39:55.000 These Nazis everywhere. 0.99

00:39:57.000 Antifa being cool. 0.53

00:39:59.000 Needing Antifa to defend people? 0.71

00:40:01.000 The idea that Trump is rounding up handicapped and trans?

00:40:05.000 That's not an exaggeration.

00:40:06.000 I saw that after he won.

00:40:07.000 They had a sign in a high school that said, I stand behind my immigrant students.

00:40:12.000 I stand behind my trans students.

00:40:15.000 I stand behind my disabled students. 0.97

00:40:18.000 Round them up, boys.

00:40:20.000 I'm president now. 1.00

00:40:21.000 I want all handicapped kids dead. 1.00

00:40:27.000 The bottom of cliffs start reeking because there's all these kids with MS just piled up there, rotting. 1.00

00:40:33.000 They just hurl them off. 1.00

00:40:35.000 What fucking planet are you living on? 1.00

00:40:42.000 And then he mentions Vox. 1.00

00:40:44.000 I go, so this is, I go, dude, Vox, seriously?

00:40:47.000 Nobody over 20 reads those SJW blogs.

00:40:49.000 Daily Beast, HuffPo?

00:40:51.000 I said, the ominous fourth degree was quickly taken out of context by conservative gadflies, meaning flies who fly around conservatives, desperate to find violence and danger where there was none.

00:41:01.000 You need to understand, you are researching a group that is under an avalanche of fake news.

00:41:05.000 Going to these sites for information is like asking the Yankees about the Red Sox.

00:41:10.000 Truly.

00:41:11.000 They go to our enemies, and our enemies have compiled all these out-of-context soundbites and they go, well, there's our facts.

00:41:17.000 And by the way, our enemies include Wikipedia.

00:41:21.000 Um...

00:41:24.000 Also, please be sure that any probable you're talking about isn't someone who was disavowed or booted out.

00:41:28.000 I've put together a list of 35 of us who were fired.

00:41:30.000 They become ostracized and unemployable.

00:41:32.000 It drives the weak ones nuts.

00:41:34.000 Some go alt-right.

00:41:35.000 Some go alt-right.

00:41:36.000 Yeah.

00:41:37.000 All right, I'm boring you.

00:41:38.000 Sorry.

00:41:39.000 By the way, I was looking at people who've been banned and debanked.

00:41:43.000 No, not deplatformed on social media.

00:41:45.000 Prevented from banking.

00:41:48.000 And I knew them all in the article.

00:41:50.000 It was Laura Loomer, Joe Biggs, Martina Marcotta, and Enrique Tarrio.

00:41:56.000 Enrique Tarrio is a black dude who's ex-Cuban.

00:42:00.000 And ex-Cubans hate socialism and they love Trump because socialism got them kicked out of their country. 0.99

00:42:07.000 But people go, yeah, those black Cubans are racist. 1.00

00:42:09.000 Those black Hispanics are racist. 1.00

00:42:11.000 Martina Marcotta, performance artist living in New York. 1.00

00:42:14.000 She sees these women get old and get forgotten. 1.00

00:42:17.000 If you want to see women get abused, live in New York City and see them just get used as fuck puppets their whole lives and then dumped when they get really, really disgusting and old like 32. 1.00

00:42:29.000 Seriously. 1.00

00:42:30.000 So it's a sexist paradise, New York City. 1.00

00:42:33.000 Ugly old men get to fuck whoever they want, whenever they want. 1.00

00:42:37.000 You get girls way out of your league in New York because the ratio is off. 1.00

00:42:41.000 And so, Martina over time developed a liking for traditionalism.

00:42:46.000 Thinking, I want to get married. 0.50

00:42:47.000 I don't want to get tossed in the garbage.

00:42:48.000 I don't want to be some booty call.

00:42:51.000 That's evil in this day and age.

00:42:53.000 So she's debanked. 0.65

00:42:55.000 Can't work with Chase.

00:42:57.000 Laura Loomer.

00:42:58.000 Laura Loomer is very emotional.

00:43:02.000 She can be a bit of a bull in a china shop. 1.00

00:43:04.000 We need a bull in a china shop. 1.00

00:43:05.000 Trump is a bull in a china shop.

00:43:08.000 And as far as racism, whatever goes, she is very concerned about anti-Semitism within Islam, as one should be. 1.00

00:43:18.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:43:19.000 She's the only one who called out Farrakhan for saying, I'm not an anti-Semite, I'm anti-termite.

00:43:27.000 And she pointed out that what do you do when you have termites?

00:43:29.000 You call an exterminator.

00:43:31.000 When she handcuffed herself to Twitter, that tweet was above her head.

00:43:35.000 And she showed Farrakhan's termite tweet and her tweet.

00:43:38.000 She can't use, she can't bank now.

00:43:40.000 She can't have a source of income. 1.00

00:43:43.000 And Joe Biggs is a fucking combat veteran. 1.00

00:43:47.000 He was in Afghanistan. 0.99

00:43:48.000 I can't actually can't remember if it was Iraq or Afghanistan or where in the Middle East, but he got hit with a, what's it called?

00:43:56.000 And I always get the birth control mixed up with the IED improvise explosion, explosive device.

00:44:03.000 He was soaring through the air in his Humvee in the hot desert.

00:44:08.000 He saw his pen rotate next to his head in slow motion.

00:44:13.000 Everything slowed down.

00:44:15.000 He almost died for his country, but he can't bank because he likes Trump.

00:44:20.000 That's what all this comes down to.

00:44:22.000 Big Tech, DNC, Antifa, Soros funded groups.

00:44:27.000 They're all the same.

00:44:29.000 They're all the same behemoth.

00:44:31.000 And that behemoth is doing everything it can to make sure influential people who support Trump are deplatformed, debanked, castrated.

00:44:40.000 That's what's going on here.

00:44:41.000 And you have writers like Rob Kuznia going to Vox and Medium and Antifa and all these other sources to talk about the impending threat of Hitler Youth that has somehow risen up from the German grave like a zombie. 0.99

00:45:00.000 Grow the fuck up! 0.99

00:45:03.000 Your life, your entire existence, your raison d'etre, 1.00

00:45:11.000 Is a shitty movie. 0.99

00:45:13.000 It's not even a good movie. 1.00

00:45:15.000 It's like you're seeing the world through shit colored glasses. 0.99

00:45:19.000 All right, Ryan, get the mailbag ready. 0.97

00:45:21.000 You haven't been contributing to this episode, so I assume you have the mailbag ready to rock and you don't have to search it.

00:45:28.000 Like the song for the mailbag.

00:45:30.000 Of course.

00:45:31.000 No, I mean.

00:45:33.000 That should just be on your desktop.

00:45:35.000 So you double-click it.

00:45:36.000 It should be a QuickTime movie. 0.98

00:45:37.000 Look at you digging through the crates like a fuckin' 90s DJ. 0.97

00:45:41.000 I was gonna explain. 0.98

00:45:42.000 Here we go. 1.00

00:45:43.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 1.00

00:45:48.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00

00:45:54.000 Let me touch it.

00:45:56.000 Hey, Gavin ordered the bidet.

00:45:58.000 He's talking, of course, about Biffy.com, a free sponsor.

00:46:03.000 It's a super jet. 0.99

00:46:05.000 You attach the tank of your toilet, Biffy.com, and it splashes your ass with such intense water, you don't even need toilet paper. 0.99

00:46:15.000 And if you become a real anal ninja, you can relax your anal lips into a baby yawning, and the next thing you know, you're blasting water up your butt. 1.00

00:46:23.000 As a drunk, I find it very helpful. 1.00

00:46:26.000 And by the way, drunks, if you're wondering why your ass is a mess, it's because you're shitting out stomach acid. 1.00

00:46:34.000 You had 37 shits this morning, because your body's overdigesting, because your body's confused about what's in it, and they think it's poison, so it overdigests. 0.99

00:46:44.000 And the next morning, you have 37 shits from all the work your body's been doing, and they run out of food pretty quick, so the next thing you know, 0.99

00:46:52.000 They're burning your ass with stomach acid and bile. 0.99

00:46:54.000 I'm almost 40 and I can't shit without toilet paper. 1.00

00:47:00.000 And read that it looks like someone wiped a rusty 8-inch nail on it after slaughtering someone in cold blood. 0.98

00:47:05.000 Also just want to say thank you for not allowing Ryan's obtuse and borderline handicap responses to your questions and statements go unpunished.

00:47:11.000 As draining and torturous as he is to listen to, you make it work. 1.00

00:47:16.000 I said old shit on Ryguy in a shit letter. 1.00

00:47:20.000 Dear Gavin, I stopped using condoms, like you said, and now I got fucking AIDS. 1.00

00:47:25.000 Thanks a lot, Kevin. 0.98

00:47:27.000 Sorry, Kev.

00:47:28.000 You think that's real?

00:47:30.000 I believe there's a cure for that.

00:47:33.000 Hi Gavin, this is Tom from Bummingham!

00:47:36.000 On your latest episode, you said you were in a movie with Amber Heard, and played her lover.

00:47:40.000 What movie was this, and was your role cut back?

00:47:43.000 Because I can only find one more time, the movie One More Time, and you were in it for about 30 seconds.

00:47:51.000 I've never watched the movie, but is it called One More Time?

00:47:55.000 I think it is.

00:47:57.000 Yes it is.

00:47:59.000 Christopher Walken, Amber Heard. 0.98

00:48:01.000 I owned a recording studio and we were fuck buddies in the movie.

00:48:09.000 So there's pictures of us online next to each other and I always say that I broke up her and Johnny Depp because we look like we're in a relationship because we were being filmed in a relationship. 0.58

00:48:18.000 But yeah, it's totally possible they cut me down to nothing.

00:48:21.000 You should see me in the studio with her and then I go for a long walk with her where I'm trying to get her back.

00:48:26.000 But uh, who cares?

00:48:29.000 Dear Gav, what's your opinion on Showtime performers on the subway?

00:48:33.000 I was recently subjected to this while heading up to Harlem and the guy was performing solo.

00:48:36.000 He didn't have great moves and then got really negative and hostile when people didn't give him enough money.

00:48:42.000 Although I saw multiple people hand him dollar bills.

00:48:44.000 He said it's a beautiful day outside, I could be out there instead of dancing on the subway. 0.90

00:48:49.000 We didn't buy tickets to his retarded performance and afterwards he's ranting like a spoiled baby. 1.00

00:48:53.000 Thoughts? 0.98

00:48:53.000 Yes, it's called You Don't Have a Dad. 0.98

00:48:57.000 The subway kids are fucking losers and they have no shame because they never had a dad slap them upside the head and say, don't beg. 1.00

00:49:07.000 Don't go on the subway and dance around on a stripper pole. 1.00

00:49:11.000 And then say, can you give me money because I spun around in circles on a pole like a fucking stripper wearing sweatpants and swinging their head by people? 0.99

00:49:22.000 Look, it's not easy to fight seven very fit teens from the hood who have no idea what consequences are, what ramifications mean, so they don't think they're going to jail. 1.00

00:49:36.000 If they beat the shit out of you or kill you. 1.00

00:49:38.000 So it's not easy to just beat them all up and say, get the fuck out of my face. 1.00

00:49:42.000 Though I think I've seen that. 1.00

00:49:43.000 I think some guy, I saw some guy once say, if anyone in those fucking shoes touches me or anyone in the subway, you're all dead. 1.00

00:49:51.000 Pretty big balls to take on a mob of teens, but some of them need their fucking asses kicked. 1.00

00:50:00.000 I hate it. 1.00

00:50:02.000 I hate the loud music I didn't ask for. 1.00

00:50:04.000 I hate the shitty dancing. 1.00

00:50:06.000 It's not good. 1.00

00:50:07.000 You're just swinging around in a pole.

00:50:09.000 But one thing you could try and don't, you know, don't do this if you don't feel safe.

00:50:15.000 So don't sue me if you do this and get shot.

00:50:18.000 But one thing I like to do if I want to confront people and not get stabbed, you do an accent and you come on to them like a very friendly tourist.

00:50:30.000 Like I do this with cab drivers sometimes, but I'll get to that in a sec because it's slightly different.

00:50:34.000 I say,

00:50:35.000 Excuse me, excuse me, I'm from a place just outside of Moscow called Shlufngat.

00:50:40.000 And um... No, that sounds German.

00:50:44.000 Think of a Russian name first.

00:50:46.000 Yukrashkis. 0.87

00:50:47.000 Look, I'm from a place outside of Moscow called Yukrashkis. 0.69

00:50:51.000 And where I am from, we have adult dancers and they go on what is called stripping pole.

00:50:57.000 But it is only women who learn this. 1.00

00:51:00.000 Here in America, men also learn the stripping pole 0.87

00:51:04.000 And they're like, nah man, this ain't stripping.

00:51:07.000 Oh, I'm sorry, I misunderstand.

00:51:10.000 In my country, it's naked ladies who do this sport. 1.00

00:51:12.000 But here it's for everyone? 0.99

00:51:15.000 Look man, we're not fucking strippers, aight? 0.98

00:51:18.000 That's a fun way to confront, like those guys with the blackberry margaritas, I confronted as a Scottish man. 0.98

00:51:24.000 I said, excuse me, I'm just curious here.

00:51:26.000 There's a woman having a stella and then you two are having, what are those?

00:51:29.000 They're called raspberry margaritas.

00:51:33.000 Sometimes it doesn't work because they don't get mad enough.

00:51:35.000 Aren't you afraid that the teens would be like, uh, well, actually this is not strip dancing.

00:51:41.000 This is a form of street urban hip hop dance.

00:51:43.000 And if I may, your accent seems to come from maybe a Polish blend and like, you might be bullshitting me. 0.88

00:51:50.000 Um, I don't know what, you know, it's like stolen Polack valor. 1.00

00:51:53.000 And he's like, yo, uh, Kurowski, Knizgi, uh, Groszkinig, uh,

00:51:58.000 That's Russian.

00:51:59.000 Yo, what particular county is Ushkerevin in and when did it separate from Moscow as a separate suburb? 0.94

00:52:07.000 Oh, these are very silly details. 0.80

00:52:09.000 I have to go. 0.83

00:52:10.000 It's missing my train.

00:52:11.000 Goodbye.

00:52:13.000 We're not at the station yet though.

00:52:15.000 No, we are.

00:52:15.000 I have to go.

00:52:17.000 It's real Russian.

00:52:18.000 Is that really?

00:52:18.000 Yeah.

00:52:25.000 I fucking hate those fuckers. 1.00

00:52:31.000 Dancers are Russians. 1.00

00:52:33.000 I have no feelings for Russians. 1.00

00:52:35.000 They're like my dog. 1.00

00:52:36.000 They can all die tomorrow. 1.00

00:52:37.000 I wouldn't blink. 1.00

00:52:39.000 But yeah, people who dance on the trains and the way they have their hands out, it's just fucking pathetic. 0.98

00:52:45.000 Oh, and then one other one I like to do to cab drivers, you go, they're talking on the phone, some guy from Lahore, Pakistan. 0.98

00:52:57.000 And I go, I'm sorry, you're talking to me?

00:53:00.000 And he goes, oh, no, I'm talking to my friend.

00:53:02.000 Wait, that's Russian.

00:53:04.000 No, I'm talking to my friend.

00:53:05.000 Oh, OK.

00:53:06.000 Just sort of confusing, because when I grew up, guys, people who talk on the phone a lot, it's usually 13 year old girls or gays. 0.77

00:53:14.000 Are you a gay?

00:53:15.000 No! 0.89

00:53:17.000 I'm not a gay!

00:53:20.000 Okay, I'm just misunderstanding.

00:53:21.000 It's just different culture, I guess.

00:53:22.000 Because here, you know, nattering away for hours and hours on the phone, someone who's babysitting, like a girl, who's watching, like, the Jonas Brothers, or a raging homosexual. 0.89

00:53:31.000 But I guess in your culture, it's also, what, straight men? 0.67

00:53:35.000 I'm not gay!

00:53:37.000 That's funny.

00:53:42.000 What else do we got?

00:53:45.000 This one's weird.

00:54:03.000 I moved out since I bought the bike, so now I need to change the address on the registration before I can renew the registration.

00:54:09.000 I'm now waiting for the DMV to email me my new address papers so that I can fill out the form a second goddamn time to actually get the fresh registration. 0.98

00:54:18.000 And don't forget the close to $200 I'll be out before I can finally sell the damn thing. 0.98

00:54:22.000 Isn't this what I pay taxes for? 0.98

00:54:24.000 So that the paperwork I'm required to have can be at no cost?

00:54:28.000 I've already set the sail up.

00:54:29.000 I was ready to rock on and roll in a single day.

00:54:31.000 I was ready to rock and roll in a single day.

00:54:33.000 But now I have to wait for my old senile Uncle Sam to put his teeth in and turn his 15-year-old Windows PC 95 on.

00:54:41.000 Also, I just found out that the EMS services aren't government-provided. 0.97

00:54:44.000 Where the fuck are my taxes going? 0.97

00:54:46.000 They certainly aren't fixing the god-awful roads in Pennsylvania. 0.99

00:54:49.000 This is why Trump won and this is why he'll win again.

00:54:52.000 I'd like to see that. 0.95

00:54:54.000 A nice curmudgeon bitching. 1.00

00:54:57.000 I noticed that in the burbs. 0.95

00:54:59.000 They're not big on bitching. 1.00

00:55:02.000 We were at this park the other day, and I was sitting down with new parents, trying to ingratiate myself into a neighborhood that wasn't going well. 0.99

00:55:08.000 And I said, this fucking park, how long are they working on this? 0.99

00:55:11.000 It's just a bunch of parts you assemble. 1.00

00:55:14.000 It's like a giant baby playset.

00:55:17.000 It's like a crib.

00:55:18.000 Just put it together.

00:55:19.000 I could put this- I could have built this whole park with five guys in three days. 0.99

00:55:24.000 But instead, it's been what, two years they've been working this shit? 0.99

00:55:27.000 They're not even done! 0.99

00:55:29.000 And then I realize I'm talking to someone who helped set up the fundraiser to build the park and they're like, well, it actually went really well.

00:55:35.000 We're happy about, you know, there's a lot of paperwork. 1.00

00:55:37.000 Yeah, fuck off. 1.00

00:55:39.000 You're not bitching. 1.00

00:55:40.000 You're not a good parent.

00:55:43.000 Daniel Bragg.

00:55:45.000 Gavin, you said you peed the bed often. 0.98

00:55:47.000 I wake up twice night to piss like a 90 year old. 0.81

00:55:47.000 I'm 28. 0.81

00:55:50.000 I think I'd have more restful nights.

00:55:52.000 Any tips on learning not to pee the bed?

00:55:54.000 You gotta get your tolerance up.

00:55:56.000 I have pissed the bed many times post-lent.

00:55:59.000 Because my tolerance goes back to zero and drinking half a bottle of Makers is just not possible.

00:56:06.000 You also piss the bed if you have amphetamines or coke because you're drinking more than your body would normally allow.

00:56:12.000 But once you get your tolerance up, you stop pissing in bed.

00:56:14.000 But I would also recommend, if you've been drinking like crazy, train your brain to not let your body go to bed and to sleep on a leather couch in the basement.

00:56:24.000 And then it's just your genes.

00:56:27.000 Second question, there's a ton of blood on the paper when I wipe. 1.00

00:56:30.000 Why did I become Dr. Shit? 0.99

00:56:33.000 I'm not answering your poo questions. 1.00

00:56:34.000 Figure it out, fuck. 1.00

00:56:36.000 Stupid ass, you useless assholes. 1.00

00:56:40.000 I'm writing this in a hurry. 1.00

00:56:43.000 I met with one of these older, decrepit women in her late 30s or 40s. 1.00

00:56:47.000 I'm 28, and I was trying to hook up, but it didn't happen.

00:56:50.000 Um, what ensued was a heated conversation with her African-American friend.

00:56:55.000 I should have seen this coming as she was very outspoken, had said the bartender had mistreated her because she was black, asked me to guess her age. 1.00

00:57:02.000 I asked, how am I supposed to know that?

00:57:03.000 100? 0.99

00:57:03.000 I fucking hate when people say that. 0.99

00:57:05.000 How old do you think I am? 0.99

00:57:07.000 Especially when men, grown men, it's usually millennials.

00:57:10.000 How old do you think?

00:57:10.000 How old are you?

00:57:12.000 Uh, fuck off o'clock? 1.00

00:57:15.000 You're faggot years old? 1.00

00:57:18.000 I noticed Gary Coleman did that. 1.00

00:57:19.000 He's like, how old are you now? 0.84

00:57:20.000 He's like, Oh, well, you know, I, um, uh, shut up. 1.00

00:57:24.000 Shut up. 0.99

00:57:25.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:57:25.000 You look gorgeous. 1.00

00:57:27.000 So I'm going to guess 22.

00:57:28.000 I'm actually 25.

00:57:29.000 Oh my God.

00:57:30.000 You look way too gorgeous for 25.

00:57:33.000 I love looking at your cheeks and trying to guess how old they are by the little laugh lines.

00:57:39.000 Let's look at my face together.

00:57:41.000 Shall we?

00:57:42.000 God.

00:57:44.000 That's a conversation ender, by the way.

00:57:46.000 You should have just ended the conversation there.

00:57:48.000 It's the same with astrology.

00:57:49.000 Are you a Scorpio?

00:57:50.000 I am not talking to you anymore. 0.97

00:57:53.000 And just walk away.

00:57:55.000 Guess how old I am. 1.00

00:57:56.000 Fuck off! 1.00

00:57:58.000 Anywho, to break the ice, I asked her what she thought about guys with man buns. 1.00

00:58:02.000 She said, it wasn't any of her business what people do with their lives.

00:58:05.000 Live and let live.

00:58:06.000 Yeah, he wasn't about to kill the guy.

00:58:08.000 Again, he's not Mao.

00:58:11.000 It's not a dictum.

00:58:12.000 It's not about to become the anti-man bun law.

00:58:18.000 So being interrogative, I asked you if there's a line to be drawn for murderers, et cetera.

00:58:22.000 She admitted that murderers and rapists are an exception.

00:58:24.000 Oh my God, dude, what are you doing?

00:58:27.000 If you're with someone who is this not talk-to-able, just drop it.

00:58:32.000 Like, why would you have an intellectual discussion with a baby?

00:58:35.000 She obviously doesn't want to explore anything.

00:58:38.000 You know, a good test is to say, would you rather drown or be buried alive?

00:58:44.000 And if they say neither, then drop the conversation.

00:58:48.000 Cause you're not talking to someone who likes talking.

00:58:50.000 You know, it's a keeper where they make up a third option.

00:58:53.000 Like I'd rather drink bleach. 0.99

00:58:55.000 I'd rather get shot in the head. 0.99

00:58:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:57.000 Yeah.

00:58:57.000 That sounds great.

00:58:58.000 I'm sorry.

00:58:58.000 That's not on the list.

00:59:00.000 Oh, I don't want to do either.

00:59:01.000 Oh, okay.

00:59:02.000 Then you're, you're free to go.

00:59:03.000 Or if they say both, another keeper.

00:59:08.000 Yeah.

00:59:08.000 Like buried in wet mud.

00:59:10.000 Yeah.

00:59:12.000 While I'm being buried alive, my head's being sawed off. 0.99

00:59:14.000 What a fucking intense nightmare that would be. 0.99

00:59:16.000 It's a 25 foot hole and they just start filling it with wet mud. 0.99

00:59:21.000 You probably start floating up with it for a bit, but then, and then it would hit you on the head and then blah blah. 1.00

00:59:27.000 Damn. 1.00

00:59:29.000 That's awful, man. 1.00

00:59:30.000 I asked her, what are you worried about?

00:59:31.000 We live in California.

00:59:33.000 She said, don't we, don't we live in, wait a minute, she admitted murders, she said that four states had already brought up harsh abortion laws.

00:59:40.000 And I asked her to name them.

00:59:41.000 She couldn't.

00:59:41.000 And I said, what are you worried about?

00:59:42.000 We live in California.

00:59:44.000 There's no way it's going to get overturned.

00:59:46.000 And I also said, you know, women are pretty split on the issue, right? 0.97

00:59:49.000 Why are you getting this deep with this woman? 0.97

00:59:52.000 And I've noticed pro-choice people rarely realize that.

00:59:57.000 That almost 50% of women are pro-life.

01:00:00.000 So... Yeah, but it's a woman's choice. 1.00

01:00:03.000 Not really.

01:00:04.000 It's not a gang... It's not a blood's choice to shoot a crip. 1.00

01:00:08.000 You don't get a choice when it's considered murder by half the population.

01:00:13.000 Anyway... I said that it's funny how this topic, abortion, men aren't allowed a voice while there's no other topic when it comes to women.

01:00:21.000 Yeah, like... Women are allowed to discuss conscription when men get drafted into a war.

01:00:28.000 She then brought up rape and said a relative had been raped by her stepbrother at 11, child was born and nothing happened to the rapist, which is not, that's against the law.

01:00:37.000 Anyway, I'm bored with this letter. 1.00

01:00:38.000 You were stupid to have engaged her. 1.00

01:00:41.000 I heard Trump is saying he wants, um, like exclusions for those type of things, by the way, like reasonable abortion. 1.00

01:00:48.000 You know, the way I am with abortion is I just want the,

01:00:52.000 Entire discussion to stay in the same window of rape incest and 22 weeks right if we could just get it there Then we're good.

01:01:01.000 That's now.

01:01:02.000 I'm I'm more of a conception guy Rape and incest I think is an interesting discussion But uh we too far stray from there Okay, here's an interesting one muscular genius

01:01:22.000 Hey Gavin, blackpilled doesn't mean very alt-right, it means cynical or nihilist in relation to something.

01:01:26.000 Like how John is redpilled on X topic, you would say I'm blackpilled on X topic.

01:01:30.000 It's BS, it's rigged.

01:01:32.000 Whitepilled means you've learned something that has made you hopeful.

01:01:34.000 Huh.

01:01:35.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

01:01:37.000 I thought blackpilled was like super duper alt-righty.

01:01:40.000 These terms are used by people in the alt-right, the new right, and other peripheral reactionary movements.

01:01:45.000 It's important to distinguish movements further right than Proud Boys, but not alt-right in terms of brands.

01:01:50.000 The alt-right is unsalvageable, which is unfortunate because the name is perfect.

01:01:56.000 I think, yeah.

01:01:59.000 I remember what alt-right two years ago was kind of normal.

01:02:02.000 You had Tila Tequila in it, Ezra Levant.

01:02:06.000 It just meant a person on the right who was still cool.

01:02:11.000 And alternative. 0.92

01:02:12.000 And then there was that NPR, not N, there was some conference at some government building and everyone was there having fun, being silly.

01:02:24.000 Still wasn't my cup of tea.

01:02:25.000 It was too right for me.

01:02:26.000 But Richard Spencer got up and he said, hail H-A-I-L Trump.

01:02:33.000 Now H-A-I-L sounds a lot like H-E-I-L.

01:02:38.000 And I think?

01:02:55.000 Tanked his own movement and made it go farther right and more esoteric.

01:02:59.000 Just, I don't know why.

01:03:01.000 It's sort of like a band not signing to a major.

01:03:03.000 They always want to be on the outskirts.

01:03:05.000 Same with libertarians.

01:03:07.000 I know I've told you this story before.

01:03:08.000 They were really making headway with Gary Johnson.

01:03:12.000 He was doing really well as an independent.

01:03:14.000 And then at one conference, this one guy, Fat Pig, gets up and just starts taking all his clothes off.

01:03:20.000 As part of an important discussion. 0.92

01:03:22.000 And dancing on his underwear.

01:03:24.000 And I think it was their way of saying, we want to stay punk rock.

01:03:28.000 We want to stay on the outskirts.

01:03:29.000 We don't want to be mainstream.

01:03:31.000 Okay.

01:03:32.000 Bye.

01:03:36.000 People like Richard Spencer, Patrick Little, I don't know who that is, David Duke, and straight-up Nazi boomers have made it untouchable by people who share a handful of overlapping views. 0.92

01:03:43.000 Think civic nationalists who acknowledge there are problems with diversity and cohesion between different racial groups. 0.85

01:03:49.000 Before you say who fucking cares, I think it's important for the movement as a whole 0.64

01:03:53.000 And I guess by the movement he means the non-liberal group. 0.98

01:03:57.000 Everyone, right of center.

01:03:59.000 If we can be aware of specific bubbles within the right for our own sake and for the sake of the fence-sitters.

01:04:05.000 It's like when you made that map of the right on your show.

01:04:07.000 Although it's not linear, it's more dynamic.

01:04:09.000 Anyway, big fan, my man.

01:04:11.000 Watching your videos.

01:04:12.000 When I was a far-left liberal and you red-pilled me.

01:04:15.000 Or you pulled me out of that mind virus, thanks.

01:04:19.000 I think that's why I'm in so much trouble, too.

01:04:21.000 For red-pilling millennials. 0.99

01:04:24.000 Gavin, superheroes are gay. 0.99

01:04:28.000 That said, I'm surprised you spend so much time harping on them because your hobbies are pretty gay too. 1.00

01:04:33.000 Wow, that hurts. 0.99

01:04:35.000 You're a middle-aged man who likes comic books, shitty punk music, and fashion. 0.98

01:04:41.000 Honestly, I just saw that list of hobbies. 0.97

01:04:43.000 I would assume you like superheroes too. 0.95

01:04:45.000 You lecturing us on gay hobbies is even worse than ex-skinheads lecturing on tolerance because at least they stopped being skinheads before they started lecturing. 1.00

01:04:53.000 Your hobbies are for fags and your shit's all retarded. 1.00

01:04:56.000 Jake E. Jake E. First of all, Jake E. The reason I talk about superheroes so much is because they're everywhere. 1.00

01:05:05.000 Every time I check the news, it's endgame.

01:05:07.000 I mean, that's finally settling down, but everywhere I go, there's grown men wearing superhero t-shirts.

01:05:14.000 When I go to the gym, when I go to the train, when I go to important meetings, some guy's got a wolverine on his chest.

01:05:20.000 Every party I go to, all the bars, they're talking about Endgame.

01:05:23.000 They're talking about Star Wars.

01:05:25.000 Especially online media.

01:05:27.000 You look at Twitter moments.

01:05:29.000 Checking out the news, wondering if there's been a terrorist attack. 1.00

01:05:31.000 And it's like, the new Jedi trailer shows that women can kick ass too! 1.00

01:05:36.000 Oh my god. 0.99

01:05:37.000 You gotta see the new Batwoman trailer. 0.98

01:05:39.000 It is un- it's a lesbian 1.00

01:05:42.000 The new Batwoman is a lesbian whose black female wife was in the NYPD and she was killed by bad guys, so she's out for revenge. 1.00

01:05:50.000 And all the men are bumbling fools going, whoa, what? 1.00

01:05:52.000 You shouldn't go in there! 1.00

01:05:55.000 And... Or, if they're not bumbling idiots who are scared of her, they're, you know, fucking gigantic deathly murderers who she kicks the living shit out of on a regular basis. 1.00

01:06:07.000 Four at once, no problem. 1.00

01:06:10.000 So...

01:06:12.000 That's why I harp on them so much, that that one's shot down.

01:06:15.000 You're a middle-aged man, that's true.

01:06:17.000 Who likes comic books?

01:06:18.000 Not really.

01:06:18.000 I was a cartoonist in 1991, and I've tried to explain the context of that in terms of living in Quebec and French culture, bande dessinée they called it, but I understand it's a hard sell.

01:06:31.000 I don't really see comic books anymore, and I definitely don't look at superhero comic books.

01:06:36.000 So we're not counting that, I'm afraid.

01:06:38.000 Shitty punk music.

01:06:40.000 Again, I don't listen to music anymore.

01:06:41.000 I mean, in the car I'm listening to Howard Stern, or Raw Dog, Comedy, or Patriot Radio.

01:06:49.000 Having kids ends music.

01:06:51.000 Because I was listening to Memphis Rap, Three Six Mafia, and Project Pat, and stuff like that.

01:06:57.000 And metal and stuff that's scary and has swear words. 1.00

01:07:00.000 The kids hate that kind of shit. 0.99

01:07:02.000 So I couldn't listen to it in the car, couldn't listen to it at home. 1.00

01:07:04.000 And you just sort of

01:07:06.000 We don't

01:07:25.000 That's called getting dressed?

01:07:27.000 Like, fashion as a hobby implies that you go shopping all the time, and you have catalogs and stuff, and you like a new designer. 1.00

01:07:34.000 Just because you dress well doesn't mean fashion is your fucking hobby, you dunce. 0.99

01:07:39.000 So that, I'm sorry, I don't mind getting shat on, especially when it's accurate, but that was just pathetic. 0.99

01:07:47.000 All right, I think we're running out of time here. 0.94

01:07:49.000 I'm stoked for the new website.

01:07:51.000 We'll be there, any info ahead of time?

01:07:53.000 No, I'm gonna wait.

01:07:54.000 I'm fighting Copper Cab.

01:07:56.000 Uh, this week.

01:07:57.000 In a private gym.

01:07:58.000 And that'll only be available on the site. 0.97

01:08:02.000 I was nervous about it, but he's getting on my fuckin' nerves.

01:08:06.000 With all this, like, uh, cause I offered to pay for his flight and everything, and now he's like, Is there gonna be money for food? 0.84

01:08:13.000 What?

01:08:14.000 Okay, can you meet me at the airport with some money for food?

01:08:17.000 I go, what are you, a homeless man?

01:08:20.000 Also, I can't get a check because my bank's really small and there's no Brent. 1.00

01:08:25.000 Fuck off! 1.00

01:08:27.000 You know, an adult says, yeah, let's agree on this price and then invoices and then he gets the money 30 days later. 1.00

01:08:32.000 Not, can you meet me when I get off the plane and put jujubes in my mouth?

01:08:35.000 I'm hungry. 1.00

01:08:38.000 So it'll be fun punching him in the fucking face. 1.00

01:08:40.000 And I don't even care if he wins. 1.00

01:08:42.000 Because I definitely am going to get some nice blows. 0.98

01:08:46.000 And I don't mean fellatio on the way down. 0.98

01:08:50.000 Um... Blah blah blah. 1.00

01:08:53.000 I want to find Gavin McInnes is a fucking asshole on IMDB. 1.00

01:08:56.000 I had that as a DVD for a while. 1.00

01:08:58.000 It's just a collection of my sketches.

01:09:00.000 I have some copies at home.

01:09:01.000 I don't know.

01:09:02.000 Who cares?

01:09:02.000 That's a really old compilation of comedy sketches I put out in 2008.

01:09:11.000 Um, thanks for doing what you do. 0.93

01:09:12.000 My friends and I are loudmouthed shitheads when we talk politics, especially with soy-infused beta lefties. 0.99

01:09:17.000 We are sick of our choices, faith in the Constitution being shit on on the right, being too polite to return fire. 0.99

01:09:23.000 Having you espouse traditional beliefs in a funny, endearing way is akin to bringing a bazooka to a knife fight. 0.98

01:09:29.000 He's trying to use big words that aren't in his normal vocabulary.

01:09:33.000 Um, alright.

01:09:34.000 Thank you, man.

01:09:35.000 That letter was boring.

01:09:37.000 I have a letter.

01:09:38.000 I have a letter.

01:09:39.000 It kind of pertains to the wanking.

01:09:44.000 It directly pertains to the wanking. 0.93

01:09:46.000 Oh, I like how you say wanking all sexy. 0.94

01:09:48.000 Tonight I'm gonna get up to the wanking. 0.98

01:09:51.000 Hey honey, tonight's wank night. 0.99

01:09:54.000 God, imagine your wife lusted you so much that you had wank night. 1.00

01:09:58.000 Can I watch you wank? 0.99

01:09:59.000 Or she'd just watch you beat off and she'd be like, oh my god, that's so hot. 1.00

01:10:05.000 I think they have a pill for that. 0.85

01:10:06.000 I saw a horny pill on TV. 0.69

01:10:09.000 It was like, men have erectile dysfunction, but women have trouble with blah blah blah arousal too. 0.77

01:10:16.000 Yeah, it exists.

01:10:18.000 It's called a gift card for Sephora.

01:10:24.000 Nice one, dude.

01:10:25.000 Thanks, man. 0.99

01:10:26.000 Good fucking joke, bro. 0.99

01:10:30.000 Yeah, there's no laughing. 1.00

01:10:32.000 It's just like, dude, that joke rocked. 0.99

01:10:34.000 Fucking awesome joke, bro. 0.99

01:10:36.000 Dude, you fucking nailed it. 1.00

01:10:38.000 Great setup, punchline rocked. 0.99

01:10:42.000 So this is a little poo-pooing on the advice of the old no winks.

01:10:46.000 Okay, morning. 0.99

01:10:47.000 Love your work and all that, my favorite podcast, but I think you're spreading dangerous misinformation about this non-wanking shit. 0.97

01:10:55.000 Caveat, I have a malignant ball removed a few years ago, so this may only apply to other single shooters, but I'm on the back... Oh, minor detail. 0.96

01:11:03.000 That's a pretty big detail, but I'm on the back of like a month, maybe even two, of unspanking and I'm writing right now from a fresh ball doctor's office after being given all the all-clear from recurring testicle cancer.

01:11:14.000 Good job.

01:11:15.000 Yeah, you sound like a typical case. 0.99

01:11:17.000 My remaining bollocks been on fucking fire for the last week or something. 0.99

01:11:21.000 Still is. 0.99

01:11:22.000 Was almost choosing coffin sizes.

01:11:24.000 Was considering the most polite and convenient form of suicide. 0.99

01:11:27.000 Emotional shitstorm. 0.98

01:11:29.000 Anyway, skipping to the end. 0.81

01:11:30.000 Okay, so this guy 1.00

01:11:33.000 His balls are so fucked up. 1.00

01:11:36.000 His genitalia is so destroyed that he's considering suicide. 1.00

01:11:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:11:41.000 And he's here to tell us about genitalia. 0.99

01:11:44.000 Half of his genitalia. 1.00

01:11:45.000 How to keep your dick right. 1.00

01:11:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:11:47.000 Anyway, skipping to the end, I didn't mention this to the doctor, but I'm putting it all down to this born-again wanking shit. 1.00

01:11:53.000 It's rubbish. 0.99

01:11:54.000 It gave me terrifying ball pain, terrifying psychic pain, and it didn't help me want to bang the old lady at all, which is probably my main motivation. 0.99

01:12:03.000 The fact is, it just made me want to assail anything else with an observable pair of tits, and to which, disgustingly, I genuinely regret to say, I did. 0.99

01:12:13.000 I got spaz a few weeks ago and poked this grotesque cougar who's been stalking me for years at the pub. 0.98

01:12:18.000 I never would have thought I was capable of it and I couldn't be less attracted to the chick. 1.00

01:12:22.000 A total professional rapist fat bird by the way. 0.99

01:12:24.000 Preys on the drunk and helpless around three in the morning and strikes me like a clumsy Glenn Close. 0.99

01:12:30.000 I was destroyed and carrying a little liter of spoiling spunk in my bag.

01:12:34.000 I had no chance.

01:12:35.000 And now God punishes me. 0.99

01:12:37.000 So I blame you cunts, and to a lesser degree, dot dot dot, myself. 1.00

01:12:41.000 You're selling a bag of shit. 1.00

01:12:42.000 Cheers. 1.00

01:12:44.000 Well that was mean.

01:12:47.000 But he's leaving out a major detail.

01:12:49.000 How long did he go without beating off?

01:12:51.000 We never, like when we say don't beat off to porn, we're not saying don't come.

01:12:57.000 In fact, I think that's a nofap thing. 0.98

01:12:59.000 I think they have some weird details where you, you can't jizz for like 40 days or something.

01:13:04.000 We never said that.

01:13:06.000 We're happy with you blowing a load 10 times a day.

01:13:10.000 Okay.

01:13:11.000 That's maybe a bit rough, but you know what I'm saying?

01:13:15.000 So if he went like a month, that's not what it's about.

01:13:17.000 It's about getting you off the couch.

01:13:21.000 Hmm.

01:13:22.000 So what is the maximum?

01:13:25.000 It's once a month, right?

01:13:26.000 Didn't you say that?

01:13:27.000 Yeah, that's how much you can beat off, but you're supposed to be ejaculating once every two days? 0.97

01:13:32.000 But with a female? 0.97

01:13:33.000 With a female. 0.91

01:13:34.000 Gotcha.

01:13:34.000 So he's either got a problem with his relationship, or if he's single, he's not getting out there enough.

01:13:39.000 Like, even if you're a single male in the city, you should be getting laid once every three or four days. 1.00

01:13:45.000 And if that means fucking a fat pig once in a while, fine. 1.00

01:13:49.000 That still means you're fucking a babe once a week. 1.00

01:13:53.000 So I think this guy's problem is not that he wasn't wanking, his problem is that he was not, uh, fucking, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? 0.99

01:14:02.000 Normal? 0.99

01:14:04.000 Um, he wasn't ejaculating and we've never been against that.

01:14:08.000 So that's just a misunderstanding. 0.98

01:14:09.000 Also, he's got, I wonder if, uh, two balls worth of semen fills up the, just the one, you know? 0.99

01:14:17.000 Oh yeah. 0.99

01:14:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:14:18.000 That's another thing. 1.00

01:14:19.000 You have a weird dick, dude. 1.00

01:14:20.000 Ball. 1.00

01:14:22.000 Well, genitalia. 1.00

01:14:23.000 Yeah, he has weird genitals. 0.99

01:14:24.000 All right, are we done? 1.00

01:14:25.000 I think so.

01:14:27.000 Good.

01:14:28.000 Oh, we've got a new sponsor coming up, but I'll announce that.

01:14:31.000 I'm not announcing the name of the site or anything until it's done.

01:14:36.000 I like you more than a friend, and as we say on our new show, which should be launching, well, the schedule says June 1st, but I don't want to launch it until it's perfect, so it might be a little later than that.

01:14:47.000 But it'll be launching there with my Copper Cab fight, some debates, Roger Stone, Cornel West, Milo Yiannopoulos, Nick DiPaolo, that little chick Soph, lots of interesting people you haven't heard of, and crazy shit like that. 0.96

01:15:04.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 0.96

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 29, 2019

#143 | I hate the New York Times

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript