Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - #148 | Antifa is trying to SWAT our July 6th rally

00:00:00.000 Antifa is trying to swat our July 6th rally.

00:00:03.000 Do you know what swatting is?

00:00:06.000 Like, uh, you call the feds so that way they come and swat you.

00:00:10.000 Yeah, a guy got killed.

00:00:11.000 A dude got killed.

00:00:14.000 Some, some joker can look this up. 0.99

00:00:17.000 He's a really ugly dude. 1.00

00:00:19.000 Um, like his, you look at his face, his head, the shape of his head, and you just go, you're like, God fucked up. 1.00

00:00:27.000 You're just bad. 1.00

00:00:28.000 You're like a bug that became a man. 1.00

00:00:31.000 You know how when you get punished, you're reincarnated as something horrible? 1.00

00:00:35.000 Well, sometimes when you're a really good bug, you get reincarnated as a human, but you're a shitty human. 0.99

00:00:41.000 Yeah, that's him. 0.98

00:00:43.000 We're doing something kind of interesting now.

00:00:45.000 We're showing this podcast video-wise on freespeech.tv.

00:00:52.000 So you get a bunch of different shows on freespeech.tv, but you also get this podcast, which is very similar to Get Off My Lawn the show,

00:01:01.000 Um, but it's more talky and, uh, there's more stuff.

00:01:06.000 And for example, right now when we talked about that ugly dude who got a guy killed by swatting, we're looking at him.

00:01:13.000 But you can't see him cause you're on iTunes.

00:01:17.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

00:01:19.000 You can't see that his eyes are all weird, his eyebrows are all weird and patchy.

00:01:23.000 And he's got like a lightbulb head and a weird goblin nose. 0.98

00:01:27.000 He looks like that guy from Harry Potter, the little cute guy.

00:01:30.000 Dobby.

00:01:31.000 Dobby.

00:01:32.000 No, Dobby, no!

00:01:34.000 He looks like Dobby.

00:01:37.000 What if your name was Dobby?

00:01:39.000 Anyway, Abu Dhabi.

00:01:43.000 So yeah, he swatted some dude in the, you know, he didn't act perfectly when the whole SWAT team was there. 0.99

00:01:48.000 The cops fucked up and shot the man dead. 0.99

00:01:51.000 So that guy went to jail. 0.99

00:01:52.000 This guy, he was charged of manslaughter.

00:01:57.000 So Antifa has told the DC police that Jack Posobiec and I, and don't take this quote out of context, are bringing grenades and rocket launchers. 1.00

00:02:10.000 If I had a rocket launcher, some son of a bitch would die. 1.00

00:02:14.000 Do you know that song? 1.00

00:02:15.000 That sounds like Bruce Springsteen again.

00:02:17.000 That's Bruce Cockburn.

00:02:19.000 Oh.

00:02:20.000 Pronounced Coburn.

00:02:23.000 You Americans don't realize that in Canada we grew up with Canadian content laws.

00:02:27.000 So incredibly bad music skyrocketed to number 10.

00:02:31.000 To top 10.

00:02:32.000 Because the radio stations were forced to play... It varied over the years.

00:02:36.000 Sometimes it was 40% Canadian content, aka CanCon.

00:02:41.000 Sometimes it was like 90%.

00:02:43.000 So you know when you watch Steven Crowder and there's that guy going, You're a strange animal, that's what I know.

00:02:50.000 That was Gowan, he was called.

00:02:54.000 Unbelievably corny, terrible music.

00:02:57.000 We talked about Parachute Club.

00:02:58.000 Rise up, rise up, rise up, fill your power.

00:03:03.000 Spirit time has come. 0.98

00:03:06.000 And when my wife's with me up in Canada, she goes, what the fuck are we listening to? 0.99

00:03:09.000 I go, we're listening to the Parachute Club. 0.98

00:03:12.000 The top 10 hits of Canada.

00:03:15.000 And then Bruce Coburn has, if I had a rocket, don't play it because we're, we might put this on.

00:03:21.000 Oh yeah.

00:03:22.000 Oh no, we won't put it on you.

00:03:23.000 Oh, we might put it on YouTube.

00:03:24.000 Yeah.

00:03:25.000 So the reason I'm doing this is because.

00:03:28.000 You're getting free content, but I want you to come to freespeech.tv and I want to give you an incentive.

00:03:32.000 So now it is, you can see this show and a bunch of other shows.

00:03:35.000 We have Free Speech Presents, where we have funny little skits and whatever. 0.99

00:03:39.000 Don't play the song, genius ass! 0.99

00:03:41.000 I got it. 1.00

00:03:42.000 If you slow it down, you can play it.

00:03:44.000 What do you mean, slow it down?

00:03:45.000 Are you going to slow it down now?

00:03:47.000 Yeah.

00:03:47.000 You're going to do it in post?

00:03:49.000 Just stop! 0.89

00:03:51.000 Jesus Christ.

00:03:53.000 There's just a live stream that me and Milo do.

00:03:57.000 There's free speech, the show, and that's where I have a liberal and a conservative sit down and have a civil conversation about what they agree on.

00:04:04.000 Then there's Get Off My Lawn, the news show.

00:04:06.000 Now there's Get Off My Lawn, the video version of the podcast.

00:04:11.000 And there's also Off the Record, where I go through my records.

00:04:14.000 So that's just six shows off the dome that I can think of.

00:04:21.000 So yeah, they've told the DC police, who have failed to contact me, I'm not sure they take this threat seriously, that we're bringing grenades and rocket launchers.

00:04:32.000 Now this goes back to what we always talk about where we go, play it through.

00:04:35.000 Let's just play it out here.

00:04:37.000 So how, somehow, we get a hold of RPGs.

00:04:41.000 That must be pretty much the hardest thing in the world. 0.97

00:04:44.000 I bet it's easier to rob a bank and have people whacked and, I don't know, blow up a dirty bomb.

00:04:50.000 What could be harder as a criminal than getting RPGs?

00:04:55.000 Has that ever been in the news?

00:04:57.000 Bank robbers use rocket propelled grenades to blow up front of bank.

00:05:05.000 Crips take rocket launchers to Blood's headquarters and just... Even in a movie, if you saw that, you'd go, man, this movie's stupid. 1.00

00:05:16.000 Now, it could be in a comedy, but the comedy would be an over-the-top, super hilarious, crazy Sacha Baron Cohen thing. 0.98

00:05:26.000 Want to cut to the wide for a second here?

00:05:28.000 Yeah.

00:05:29.000 Oh, rocket launcher toted in an armed car robbery.

00:05:32.000 It has happened.

00:05:32.000 Where is that?

00:05:34.000 Los Angeles.

00:05:35.000 Los Angeles.

00:05:38.000 You can use a... Rocking in L.A.

00:05:40.000 Rocket launching in L.A. 0.75

00:05:42.000 Rocket launching in L.A. 0.75

00:05:44.000 Nobody launches in L.A.

00:05:47.000 Robbers armed with explosives and a rocket launcher.

00:05:51.000 Okay, I apologize.

00:05:52.000 Wow.

00:05:54.000 It has happened.

00:05:55.000 Attacked an armored delivery van.

00:05:57.000 Where did they get it from?

00:05:58.000 They did not fire the rocket launcher, but used explosives to break the van's locks.

00:06:02.000 Who are these mental patients?

00:06:04.000 Jesus, guys.

00:06:06.000 What are they gonna get, too?

00:06:08.000 Oh, no, no, wait, that's the LA Times, but it was in southeastern France.

00:06:11.000 Oh, there you go.

00:06:12.000 Yeah.

00:06:14.000 That makes sense.

00:06:14.000 I guess, I guarantee they're not French-born.

00:06:18.000 Yeah.

00:06:20.000 But they say French Nationals or something.

00:06:22.000 I'm guessing they came from West Africa.

00:06:26.000 And they are used to having rocket launchers where they can shoot cows for sport and occasionally rob a bank.

00:06:34.000 What is it?

00:06:35.000 Who's that guy?

00:06:36.000 General Butt Naked?

00:06:37.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:38.000 He's impervious to bullets?

00:06:40.000 When he's naked.

00:06:42.000 When he's naked, yeah. 0.81

00:06:44.000 Uh, no offense, General Butt-Naked, I don't want to denigrate you in front of your soldiers, but can I just test that out, please? 1.00

00:06:50.000 In the balls? 1.00

00:06:51.000 Can I just put this gun up to your balls? 1.00

00:06:53.000 Pew! 1.00

00:06:54.000 Oh, okay, it's true. 1.00

00:06:56.000 I had no idea that you are capable of bouncing bullets off your balls. 1.00

00:07:02.000 Well, he's not exactly butt naked. 1.00

00:07:04.000 He's got a hat on and some kind of vest.

00:07:07.000 Occasionally.

00:07:07.000 Yeah.

00:07:08.000 So you define butt naked as 0% clothing.

00:07:12.000 Yep.

00:07:13.000 Like if you were to wear a Make America Great Again hat and you're totally naked, you're not butt naked.

00:07:19.000 No.

00:07:20.000 That's fair.

00:07:21.000 I'm down with that.

00:07:21.000 Specialships.

00:07:23.000 That's what's up.

00:07:23.000 Oh man.

00:07:25.000 Um, so yeah.

00:07:27.000 Let's just play this through, right?

00:07:29.000 Somehow these guys, Jack and me, get these... This would be a book about the attack called Jack and me.

00:07:35.000 Jack and me get a hold of these insane weapons that are hard for the American military to get a hold of.

00:07:40.000 Or Crimson King songs. 0.99

00:07:41.000 I bet if you were in Afghanistan and you go, Jesus, we could do with some more RPGs, and you called your superiors, they'd go, damn it, dude. 0.93

00:07:48.000 I mean, I guess I could get them shipped there in like a month. 0.95

00:07:52.000 But no, I need them tonight.

00:07:53.000 I can't get you RPGs tonight. 0.99

00:07:55.000 What the fuck do you think this is? 0.99

00:07:58.000 So, there's a crowd of Antifa, they're all like in one area, and then two guys, I don't know why, maybe some of the other speakers are there, I think there's about 10 speakers there. 0.99

00:08:09.000 By the way, I hope it gets shut down, I hate rallies.

00:08:12.000 I hate speeches.

00:08:14.000 I like getting paid five grand to do a speech, that's fun, just show up there, make some jokes and leave.

00:08:19.000 But I don't like doing these things for next to nothing, having to fly to DC, take a train to DC, whatever. 0.98

00:08:25.000 You gotta get a hotel, you get out there, people are screaming, yelling shit at you, pepper spraying you.

00:08:31.000 It's not exactly a pleasant forum for comedy. 0.99

00:08:35.000 So, yeah, shut it down for all I care.

00:08:38.000 No, I'm just kidding.

00:08:39.000 It's very important that we have free speech in this country.

00:08:42.000 And I'll also be using it to push my website, freespeech.tv.

00:08:46.000 So part of it is selling out, whatever you want to call it.

00:08:50.000 I'm picking my nose because I forgot we're videotaping this.

00:08:54.000 So yeah, let's play it through.

00:08:57.000 So there's a crowd over there.

00:08:58.000 You throw a grenade in there.

00:09:00.000 We have several grenades.

00:09:01.000 Let's guess that they're saying that Jack and I have like five each, right?

00:09:06.000 Surely when you throw the first one...

00:09:09.000 That's it.

00:09:09.000 I mean, the National Guard's coming.

00:09:11.000 You're not going to be throwing grenades for the better part of the day.

00:09:13.000 So, with the rocket launcher and the grenades, the first rocket launch, that's the day done.

00:09:20.000 I mean, the Army's now involved.

00:09:23.000 So, I don't think you need to bring a bunch of grenades and a rocket launcher.

00:09:28.000 It's not like you're going to get a lot of shots in.

00:09:32.000 So, let's just say one of our shots.

00:09:35.000 By the way, how do we hide these?

00:09:37.000 You walk up to the podium and you happen to be carrying a giant cylindrical tube with a rocket in the tip?

00:09:44.000 But let's say somehow you put it in, I don't know, a big hockey gear bag.

00:09:48.000 So you throw the grenade and then everyone's freaking out and you blow them up and there's limbs everywhere.

00:09:55.000 I mean, it would be one of the most consequential terrorist attacks in history.

00:09:59.000 It's obviously not as many people as 9-11, but people would talk about it in the same breath.

00:10:03.000 Like, remember those white power Nazis or whatever they called it?

00:10:06.000 Because they wouldn't just say,

00:10:08.000 You know, multiracial libertarians who are slightly right of center and like Trump.

00:10:14.000 That's too fair.

00:10:15.000 So they'd say Nazis, whatever.

00:10:19.000 And they say, remember when they threw grenades at innocent people, liberals, people that disagree with them?

00:10:23.000 Yeah, they never say Antifa.

00:10:24.000 They say people who disagree with them, not actual designated terrorists.

00:10:31.000 What's the truth on that?

00:10:34.000 Was the Department of Homeland Security designated Antifa terrorist group?

00:10:39.000 Right?

00:10:41.000 Yes.

00:10:41.000 The Antifa, yeah.

00:10:43.000 But who exactly did that?

00:10:44.000 I thought it was New Jersey.

00:10:46.000 Oh yeah, it was in a particular state.

00:10:47.000 Yeah.

00:10:50.000 Walking in LA!

00:10:51.000 So then you do that.

00:10:53.000 And there's body parts everywhere.

00:10:54.000 You've killed, you know, brothers, sons and daughters of people.

00:10:58.000 You've killed family members, murdered innocent Americans. 0.99

00:11:02.000 Yeah, well until the innocent Americans. 0.98

00:11:04.000 I don't want them to die.

00:11:05.000 That's the crazy thing too. 0.99

00:11:07.000 Like they say, they want to kill us, literally murder us. 1.00

00:11:12.000 And it's under the auspices that we want them to die. 1.00

00:11:14.000 You don't want trans people to exist. 1.00

00:11:16.000 What? 1.00

00:11:17.000 No, I'm just not taking the bathroom shit seriously. 0.99

00:11:19.000 I don't want to kill anyone. 1.00

00:11:20.000 Are you crazy? 1.00

00:11:21.000 You're the guys who talk about killing all the time. 1.00

00:11:24.000 With fucking comedians carrying Trump's head all bloodied. 1.00

00:11:28.000 What is this? 1.00

00:11:29.000 security officials have classified the left-wing group Antifa as domestic terrorists.

00:11:29.000 U.S.

00:11:35.000 But what U.S.

00:11:36.000 security officials?

00:11:36.000 What does that mean?

00:11:37.000 Oh, the Department of Homeland Security, DHS,

00:11:40.000 That doesn't sound like they're deemed a terrorist group.

00:11:42.000 This is like more fake news.

00:11:43.000 Yeah, that's pretty soft.

00:11:44.000 It's like when they said the Proud Boys were

00:12:11.000 Deemed an extremist group and it was wrong.

00:12:14.000 Only difference is with Proud Boys, they were wrong.

00:12:16.000 With Antifa, they're right.

00:12:18.000 They use terror and violence to achieve political gains.

00:12:23.000 That's what terrorism is.

00:12:25.000 All Proud Boys say is, don't hit that guy. 0.94

00:12:29.000 So yeah, so we blow them up with grenades and then what?

00:12:32.000 And then like cop cars show up and those get hit with the RPGs, but they know we love cops.

00:12:39.000 So who are we shooting with the RPGs?

00:12:41.000 Another mob? 0.98

00:12:43.000 Didn't we already blow them up with grenades?

00:12:45.000 Maybe, like, you're a little, like, vain and, like, other speakers, like your fellow speakers, you're like, I wanna do the best speech. 0.93

00:12:52.000 So you blow up Jack himself.

00:12:54.000 So you and Jack are battling.

00:12:54.000 Oh, I see, yeah.

00:12:55.000 It's gonna be an RPG duel.

00:12:57.000 We do ten paces and then turn around and just... Yeah.

00:12:57.000 Yeah.

00:13:04.000 What if we're just super fun rednecks and we're like, free speech, fucking rocks, let me hear ya! 0.99

00:13:09.000 And then we take a grenade and throw it straight up in the air and it just goes... Yeah, god damn it! 0.99

00:13:14.000 And then we take an RPG and just sink the rocket in the thing and it just goes... Just explodes safely in the sky. 0.92

00:13:22.000 I call those simper fireworks.

00:13:26.000 Bring out the tannerite.

00:13:27.000 I can't hear you, do you like free speech? 0.98

00:13:31.000 Goddamn right you do! 0.96

00:13:34.000 Wow, looking at it, it's a packed crowd. 0.93

00:13:34.000 Yeah! 0.93

00:13:36.000 There's a full house.

00:13:37.000 Speaking of full house, you ever meet Danny Tannerite?

00:13:40.000 Load him up, boy! 0.92

00:13:53.000 See, that's another comedy moment you'll miss by not going to freespeech.tv.

00:13:57.000 Yeah.

00:13:58.000 Because we do this adorable thing where I punish him for making crappy jokes and relying too heavily upon puns.

00:14:06.000 Danny Tannerite.

00:14:08.000 Danny Tannerite. 0.99

00:14:10.000 Rick-diculous. 1.00

00:14:11.000 That's your fucking nickname. 1.00

00:14:13.000 That's pretty good. 1.00

00:14:16.000 Oh, you know what I wanted to talk about?

00:14:18.000 We were talking on freespeech.tv.

00:14:21.000 About this guy Max Landis.

00:14:24.000 So Max Landis was the son of John Landis.

00:14:27.000 John Landis did Animal House, Blues Brothers, American Woman in London, basically all your favorite movies.

00:14:33.000 And he's worth $150 million because of it.

00:14:35.000 And lo and behold, when you have $150 million in the bank, your son's a douche.

00:14:41.000 But the question is, is being a douche illegal?

00:14:46.000 So he's been moving up the ladder.

00:14:49.000 And he directed, he wrote Bright on Netflix about orcs, which is a really cool show that everyone hated because they thought it was politically incorrect.

00:15:02.000 But he's got these accusations now. 0.72

00:15:05.000 Eight women have come forward accusing him of being a repeated sexual predator.

00:15:10.000 And you look it up and you realize coming forward means Twitter. 1.00

00:15:13.000 They've been tweeting, this guy's a dick. 1.00

00:15:16.000 And you go, I dicks are jerks by definition. 1.00

00:15:21.000 But if you're going to ruin a guy's career, maybe you should go to the cops, especially if he's a serial rapist. 1.00

00:15:27.000 Don't you want him off the street so he won't do it again?

00:15:30.000 So I went into a Max Landis wormhole.

00:15:35.000 And Jesus Lord, does it make you hate millennials?

00:15:40.000 I'm, I'm, I fear for my children, both the daughter and the sons, because it's like these kangaroo courts of rumors and innuendo. 0.67

00:15:50.000 Look, if a guy's a rapist, yeah, ruin his career, throw him in jail.

00:15:54.000 It's we got, we usually do 15 years for rape, but outside of court, you're just doing this based on stories.

00:16:01.000 So I combed through all the stories.

00:16:04.000 And I found a bunch of like, he would hit hands, hit food out of my hands when I was eating and he called me fat all the time.

00:16:12.000 Oh my God, are you okay?

00:16:14.000 One of them goes, you don't know it's abuse until, until it's over.

00:16:18.000 And then you look back and go, I was abused.

00:16:20.000 Uh, if you don't know you're being abused, then it's not that bad.

00:16:24.000 It's not illegal bad, it's not ruin a career bad. 1.00

00:16:27.000 So I found two instances where it was not just some asshole being a dick, it was someone committing crimes. 0.99

00:16:35.000 And one of them was, this chick was super drunk, like zombie drunk, and he was about to fuck her, and she was saying her boyfriend's name, or ex-boyfriend's name, so she was so wasted that she was completely out of it. 1.00

00:16:50.000 That's illegal! 1.00

00:16:52.000 Fornicating with someone who's dead to the world is rape. 0.80

00:16:55.000 So apparently that woman went to, she filed a domestic violence thing and Max Landis' lawyer allegedly, all of this is alleged, allegedly talked her out of it saying you're going to have to relive the whole experience.

00:17:09.000 And she goes, oh, I don't want to do that then.

00:17:11.000 The end.

00:17:12.000 Wait a minute.

00:17:13.000 If he really did that, you're letting a rapist free.

00:17:15.000 And we don't know if he really did it because he didn't go to court.

00:17:20.000 So then the other one I found was he said, this woman said that he lay on top of her and was trying to force her legs apart.

00:17:27.000 She kept saying no, and eventually he stopped.

00:17:29.000 And she's, there's all this bias too.

00:17:30.000 Like it says he got bored and stopped. 0.99

00:17:33.000 And then when he's asked about that particular incident, he says, no, I was trying to fuck her. 1.00

00:17:36.000 And she said, no. 1.00

00:17:37.000 So I stopped.

00:17:38.000 And you go, all right, those two are very different.

00:17:40.000 One's attempted a rape, which is sexual assault.

00:17:43.000 And the other is just something didn't work out.

00:17:46.000 This is why we have the law.

00:17:47.000 This is why we have to go to court.

00:17:48.000 I'm sorry if it's uncomfortable to go to court.

00:17:52.000 But I, I guess who that is?

00:17:58.000 Grape Lady.

00:17:59.000 Grape Lady.

00:18:00.000 Good boy.

00:18:01.000 Grape Lady.

00:18:02.000 Good boy.

00:18:03.000 Thanks.

00:18:07.000 But I'm looking at all of these, his friends throw him under the bus.

00:18:12.000 And you know, you could see that as evidence that he was an evil person. 1.00

00:18:15.000 Or you could just see it as pussy town. 0.99

00:18:18.000 And where is this now? 0.99

00:18:21.000 Is this Brad Gage?

00:18:22.000 Yeah.

00:18:23.000 I got it, it's right here.

00:18:25.000 Don't do British accents, dude. 1.00

00:18:26.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:18:29.000 Your British accents suck balls. 1.00

00:18:31.000 Your Scottish makes my ears bleed and all your English accents are terrible. 1.00

00:18:36.000 Do them on your own time. 0.98

00:18:39.000 My Australian's really good.

00:18:40.000 Let's hear it, he says with trepidation.

00:18:43.000 Well, I don't know.

00:18:46.000 The biggest shame of my life was knowing that I was friends with Max Landis.

00:18:49.000 Recently there have been several women to come forward with statements about Max's extreme manipulation and sexual, emotional and verbal abuse.

00:18:58.000 Okay, that's a pretty good accent by the way.

00:19:01.000 So this is his best friend of 10 years. 0.99

00:19:05.000 And the shit hits the fan in a day and all of a sudden this guy, who I guess didn't know him for 10 years, 0.99

00:19:12.000 I had no idea my best friend was doing extreme manipulation. 1.00

00:19:17.000 What the fuck is extreme manipulation? 0.98

00:19:19.000 I read more about this dude. 0.99

00:19:20.000 Cuz daddy's rich, he'd have these parties where he'd throw down like 50k.

00:19:24.000 And everyone wanted to be around him. 0.99

00:19:27.000 So he took advantage of that and fucked all the girls in the group. 0.99

00:19:29.000 Made sure the group was very girl heavy. 1.00

00:19:32.000 And uh... Yeah, they would be in his little stupid video shorts and go to his parties and have a gay old time. 1.00

00:19:42.000 And that's extreme. 1.00

00:19:44.000 It's sort of like that Nexum guy, you know, the sex cult guy.

00:19:48.000 Now, if you, I don't know all the details of the case, but you know, kidnapping is a major crime.

00:19:56.000 And if he was locking a woman in a room,

00:19:59.000 And abusing her?

00:19:59.000 Yeah, we got laws for that.

00:20:00.000 That's great.

00:20:01.000 That's kidnapping.

00:20:01.000 You're in jail.

00:20:02.000 But a lot of what I read was like, he would manipulate these women and he would have sex with them and tell them that they were nothing. 0.98

00:20:09.000 And he would make them go to these meetings and they'd have to be naked at the meetings. 0.97

00:20:13.000 And you go, wait a minute, what do you mean make?

00:20:16.000 Was it at gunpoint?

00:20:17.000 No, he was just, it was like a cult.

00:20:20.000 He was so manipulative.

00:20:21.000 And you're reading a lot of this and it says it was like a cult.

00:20:23.000 A cult?

00:20:24.000 Is that illegal?

00:20:25.000 Is it illegal to have a cult?

00:20:27.000 I mean, isn't Scientology a cult?

00:20:30.000 Did L. Ron Hubbard do anything illegal?

00:20:35.000 Anyway.

00:20:36.000 I think it's freedom of assembly, right?

00:20:38.000 This is his best friend throwing him under the bus, which... 1.00

00:20:41.000 If this guy, it's a lose-lose for you, Brad Gage, you fucking millennial turd. 1.00

00:20:47.000 You either hung out with a rapist for 10 years or you didn't have your buddy's back when he was accused of being a rapist. 1.00

00:20:54.000 So lose-lose for loser Brad Gage. 0.99

00:20:57.000 The biggest, what does he say? 0.98

00:20:59.000 Because I know these women and I know they're telling the truth.

00:21:02.000 Their truths are why I completely cut ties with Max over two years ago.

00:21:06.000 Oh, sorry.

00:21:07.000 So he took care of this two years ago.

00:21:08.000 They were only friends for eight years.

00:21:10.000 These women's stories are real and honest and should be taken seriously.

00:21:14.000 For me, this is absolutely the most important takeaway.

00:21:20.000 I don't even like snitches if the person's guilty.

00:21:26.000 Now that this is all coming tonight, it's even clearer to me, you mean now that my ass is on the line, that everyone deals with shame on their own timeline.

00:21:35.000 What? 0.99

00:21:36.000 Don't you hate Millennials? 0.80

00:21:39.000 Hate has a home here, and it's hate for the kids today.

00:21:44.000 Everyone deals with shame on their own timeline. 0.98

00:21:46.000 In other words, I'm a pussy, I let my friend get away with abusing a woman because he was rich and we had awesome parties, and now that everyone knows about it, my timeline is now. 0.98

00:21:57.000 Now I'm out. 1.00

00:21:58.000 I'm dealing with shame now.

00:22:00.000 Some timelines are more convenient and opportunistic than others, okay?

00:22:04.000 For the past two years, I've spent an incredible amount of time wondering how I enabled Max's duplicity. 0.99

00:22:10.000 Yeah, so are we, pussy. 1.00

00:22:13.000 Of course I feel dumb for believing a friend was getting better when he said he was. 1.00

00:22:17.000 Of course I feel guilty remembering moments where I should have more thoroughly checked in with my... Ew! 0.89

00:22:22.000 They all speak in this like therapist... clap trap.

00:22:26.000 You know what I'm talking about?

00:22:28.000 Howard Stern talks like this too.

00:22:31.000 So are you getting to know yourself better?

00:22:33.000 Are you acquiring the tools that are required to fix your life?

00:22:37.000 Are you armoring yourself for any letdowns?

00:22:41.000 Are you solving problems?

00:22:44.000 Of course I feel guilty remembering moments where I should have more thoroughly checked in.

00:22:48.000 What does he end it with?

00:22:50.000 When I could tell he was causing distress.

00:22:52.000 This is why I cut ties after only eight years.

00:22:57.000 We all want to believe that people closest to us are telling the truth and aren't manipulating us.

00:23:01.000 It's not a crime to manipulate. 0.99

00:23:02.000 It's called an asshole move. 0.96

00:23:04.000 And if someone is being manipulative, then just peace out. 0.99

00:23:08.000 It's not your problem.

00:23:09.000 Get out of there.

00:23:10.000 You can't cry about it and now he can't do movies because he manipulated you?

00:23:15.000 What are you doing with that camera?

00:23:15.000 Don't put that camera there.

00:23:17.000 No, I'm trying to see if I could just have it pick up my mouth.

00:23:21.000 Nothing bad is happening.

00:23:23.000 Nothing bad is happening?

00:23:24.000 Yes.

00:23:25.000 Instead I see the most dangerous people are the monsters. 0.70

00:23:28.000 My friend was a monster!

00:23:30.000 I know that waiting for someone to appear as an entirely good guy or entirely a monster can allow manipulation, secrecy, and shame. 0.97

00:23:37.000 Shame!

00:23:38.000 This is why they hate the Proud Boys, because shame is their currency. 1.00

00:23:41.000 Isn't it ironic, by the way, how manipulative this thread is, this little pussy, is manipulating everyone around him because he doesn't want to lose his girlfriends and his 1.00

00:23:52.000 His gigs. 0.99

00:23:53.000 Hollywood is, of course, as we learned from the Landis case, one little flub.

00:23:57.000 Not that this was a little flub, sorry. 1.00

00:23:58.000 But once your shit explodes, you're done. 1.00

00:24:01.000 His career is over. 1.00

00:24:02.000 This is probably bad for John Landis at this point.

00:24:06.000 I bet his Wikipedia will now say, his son was manipulative.

00:24:10.000 Max operated in everyone's blind spot, but the great thing about that is, once you learn your blind spot, he has no power in your life anymore.

00:24:20.000 This is such an LA, Hollywood thing.

00:24:23.000 When someone gets in trouble, they cannot wait to cut the cords. 0.95

00:24:26.000 And it's ironic, because New Yorkers are mean, and they'll die for you. 1.00

00:24:33.000 They're like, get the fuck out of here, you stupid bitch. 1.00

00:24:37.000 That's a guy talking to a guy, and then he's in trouble. 1.00

00:24:40.000 Yeah, okay, I'll pay you fucking bail, but what the fuck have you done now? 0.99

00:24:44.000 No, I won't talk about it. 1.00

00:24:50.000 He has no power, and they hug you all the time.

00:24:53.000 I was talking about this in the last episode, and they tell you you're gorgeous.

00:24:55.000 Oh my God, we're gonna do all these great projects together. 1.00

00:24:58.000 And then they're full of shit. 0.99

00:25:00.000 Like when I would pitch TV shows there, they go, it sounds great, let's get started. 1.00

00:25:04.000 And I write the pilot, and I get the money for the pilot.

00:25:07.000 Hey, so when are we starting on this?

00:25:08.000 Oh, that, we can't do that.

00:25:09.000 No, we're not doing that. 0.75

00:25:11.000 Oh, so we just did all that for the garbage? 0.98

00:25:13.000 Yeah, that's Hollywood. 0.99

00:25:15.000 New York is the opposite of that.

00:25:18.000 New Yorkers are kind of like Parisians. 0.99

00:25:20.000 They're really shitty to you for the first two months, because they don't trust you, and then once you're in, alright, ride or die. 0.75

00:25:28.000 Yeah, same go- LA, like, I made a lot of friends real quick, and, uh, not none of them are hardcore.

00:25:34.000 I joined a band that lasted two days.

00:25:37.000 Really?

00:25:38.000 Yeah, just, they're flaky.

00:25:40.000 Sorry. 1.00

00:25:42.000 So anyway, he spins this bullshit web about how, I hate my friend. 0.99

00:25:47.000 I was trying to change him for eight years, going to his $50,000 parties where we had giant Nerf fights and water balloon fights with naked chicks, that I hated it, but I thought he could change. 0.99

00:26:01.000 And on my own timeline, I realized, by the way, that's me talking.

00:26:05.000 It's indistinguishable from his rant. 0.99

00:26:08.000 And then eventually I realized he's been tricking me into getting blowjobs from hot chicks all these years. 1.00

00:26:14.000 I hated the blowjobs. 0.99

00:26:16.000 I got them and as I was getting them, I was going, young lady, when you're done with this, we need to talk because I want to help. 0.99

00:26:24.000 You're a special person. 0.56

00:26:25.000 You don't need to be doing this salacious sex act. 0.98

00:26:29.000 Oh Lord! 0.97

00:26:30.000 Oh Lord have mercy!

00:26:32.000 It's like the televangelists. 0.56

00:26:35.000 So anyway, he says all this.

00:26:38.000 I don't know what Max's future holds.

00:26:39.000 He's done, dude.

00:26:41.000 And you just put the last thing of dirt on his grave.

00:26:44.000 Again, I don't know the details of the case.

00:26:47.000 I'm not saying he should or shouldn't be done.

00:26:49.000 I don't know.

00:26:49.000 This is all rumors.

00:26:50.000 Go to court if you've been sexually assaulted.

00:26:56.000 I mean, people are calling the police on everything.

00:26:58.000 Isn't that a weird dichotomy?

00:27:00.000 So, someone is a serial rapist and it's like, I didn't feel safe.

00:27:03.000 Everyone deals with manipulation in their own way.

00:27:06.000 Then, there's a rally on and someone touches someone's shoulder.

00:27:08.000 Assault!

00:27:09.000 I'm calling the cops!

00:27:11.000 We were just, on today's episode, we were talking about some guy who steals a fisherman's fish, because he's an animal rights activist, and throws it in the river.

00:27:20.000 Everyone's running to the cops.

00:27:21.000 Cops! 0.78

00:27:22.000 Cops! 0.78

00:27:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:23.000 Well, I think the guy wanted to kick his ass, but he knew he was on film. 1.00

00:27:26.000 So let me get this straight. 1.00

00:27:28.000 The cops must be called if someone touches your shoulder, because that's what I want to touch, but being raped is mommy's private time. 1.00

00:27:37.000 And you deal with that on your own. 1.00

00:27:39.000 What kind of fucking clown world are these young people pushing for? 1.00

00:27:44.000 I'd rather just do kangaroo courts, thank you very much, where I just send a tweet and then BuzzFeed turns it into a 7,000 word article and then the guy's career is flushed down the toilet. 0.99

00:27:54.000 Now, obviously I have a bias here because I've seen this happen to innocent people a million times and I talked about Cale Hartman, which this story has a lot of similarities.

00:28:04.000 Cale Hartman, Anthony Cumia, Joseph Cumia, Dov Charney, Terry Richardson.

00:28:11.000 And in every case,

00:28:13.000 If the guys were saying, yeah, let's go to court, please.

00:28:17.000 I'd love to clear my name.

00:28:18.000 Kale Hartman would love to clear his name.

00:28:20.000 No, I'll just stick to innuendos.

00:28:22.000 Thanks. 0.67

00:28:23.000 Anyway, so the guy has this bullshit 10 tweet rant about how I'm actually innocent, even though I was there for 80% of the time. 0.91

00:28:32.000 And one of the accusers takes it hook, line, and sinker because they're really just looking for drama, a lot of these people. 0.87

00:28:39.000 And she says, I can't even fully process the healing of a message this thorough from a man that was once closest to him.

00:28:48.000 I'm so grateful, Brad.

00:28:50.000 I am still learning.

00:28:52.000 Thank you Can we get some grenades and rocket launchers, please?

00:28:58.000 And just aim them at an entire generation That is FBI.

00:29:02.000 That is a joke.

00:29:04.000 Please don't arrest me.

00:29:05.000 And here's another joke that really puts the AIDS and grenades.

00:29:08.000 Okay And then it says all these other beta males piling on hoping that they're not part of it

00:29:17.000 Like Brian Koppelman, the showrunner for billions who definitely wants a job next year and doesn't want to be seen as anything.

00:29:24.000 He probably partied with this guy too.

00:29:26.000 So everyone who ever partied with him and took advantage of his $50,000 parties is like, I was there to see if I could help.

00:29:33.000 And he goes, Brian Koppelman goes, Shame!

00:29:56.000 We all, in brackets, men.

00:29:58.000 Does that mean Jewish men if it's in brackets?

00:30:00.000 Have to get better at listening.

00:30:02.000 Picking up signals.

00:30:04.000 Being allies.

00:30:05.000 That's so true.

00:30:06.000 As Michelle Obama said to Oprah, Be better.

00:30:10.000 Be better.

00:30:11.000 Be better.

00:30:12.000 Be better.

00:30:13.000 Be better.

00:30:14.000 Be better.

00:30:15.000 Be better.

00:30:16.000 Be better.

00:30:17.000 Be better.

00:30:18.000 Be better. 1.00

00:30:20.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:30:22.000 Hey, Oprah's dad, why don't you be better and stop raping your daughter? 1.00

00:30:25.000 Or no, Oprah's dad abandoned him. 1.00

00:30:28.000 It was, I think, her uncle that raped her. 0.97

00:30:30.000 What's that supposed to mean? 0.82

00:30:31.000 And Michelle Obama, why don't you talk about your awesome dad, who was a cripple, who wore those gimpy crutches on his forearms, and went to work for the Chicago Transit Authority every single day in the south side of Chicago, gave you a normal name, Michelle, and you ended up a very well-educated billionaire, basically. 0.99

00:30:52.000 Look at this guy.

00:30:55.000 Wow, you really sort of blow your sound effect chips all at once, huh?

00:30:58.000 Well, you open the gate?

00:31:01.000 Open the gate, Nate.

00:31:03.000 I'd heard rumors about Max, but still communicate with him and his peers about movies and TV online.

00:31:08.000 Instead of doing due diligence on the rumors, it's a form of enabling, and we all have to stop.

00:31:15.000 And then this chick, Anna Akana, who's dating, I went deep into this, so I'm now an expert on millennials.

00:31:22.000 Anna Akana was one of the first to say, he's a sexual predator, just on Twitter, which was so brave.

00:31:29.000 And then Gabe, the redhead, Brad Gage, he's the one that did that 10 tweet thing about how, I have to have shame on my own timeline.

00:31:39.000 So she goes,

00:31:41.000 It is important to listen when women come forward, when they have identical, horrifying stories of abuse and rape.

00:31:46.000 When you find yourself wondering, why social media?

00:31:49.000 Why not the police?

00:31:50.000 Yeah!

00:31:51.000 That's what I'm screaming!

00:31:53.000 Wait a minute.

00:31:55.000 She just said, when you find yourself wondering, why social media?

00:31:58.000 Why not the police?

00:32:00.000 That's what you did!

00:32:01.000 Listen when they tell you exactly why.

00:32:03.000 Trauma requires healing.

00:32:06.000 Okay, people?

00:32:08.000 And most often these women just want to warn others so they don't suffer the same way. 1.00

00:32:11.000 They want to focus on their healing.

00:32:13.000 They don't want to be tied up in legal battles for several years.

00:32:16.000 Wow.

00:32:17.000 Too bad.

00:32:19.000 That's a doozy.

00:32:20.000 We just want to point blame, get the conviction, and go on with our lives.

00:32:24.000 Lady, we need to know if it's true.

00:32:26.000 You can't give a tweet this kind of authority.

00:32:29.000 No one wants to live in a society like that.

00:32:32.000 Evidence is painful, and it's really kind of like...

00:32:36.000 So what happened after that, ma'am?

00:32:55.000 Okay, now go to the notes and find This Is Max Landis, because he started his career doing this really weird and irritating thing, video, which you can't see, audio people, called Wrestling Is Not Wrestling.

00:33:12.000 And it's a story, just pause, maybe go back to the beginning, but remember that timestamp.

00:33:21.000 It's the history of some wrestling character he's focused on.

00:33:24.000 Now obviously this is a bored rich kid, so his level of education is just watching wrestling because daddy lets him do whatever he wants.

00:33:30.000 So it's time to make a movie.

00:33:32.000 He just steals drunk history, but without the drunk part.

00:33:36.000 And he tells a story of a wrestler and his career and his storyline, right?

00:33:40.000 His own timeline of shame.

00:33:42.000 And he adds, he has these super hot chicks act it out. 1.00

00:33:48.000 And one of them is the big-titted girl from those Switch to Mobile cell phone commercials. 1.00

00:33:55.000 And the other is Anna Akana, the one who just said, don't go to the police.

00:34:02.000 So she was part of this entourage where all these hot chicks surrounded him, appeared in his movies, appeared in his little video shorts, went to his parties, and then said, I was at the party before I realized that he was manipulative.

00:34:16.000 Oh, really?

00:34:16.000 How long did that take?

00:34:17.000 We would party with him for about six years.

00:34:21.000 Like, he had an entourage called the Color Group or something, or the Color Package.

00:34:26.000 Anyway, show this movie.

00:34:32.000 Here it comes.

00:34:33.000 A weird thing to defend.

00:34:59.000 By the way, just pause it.

00:35:05.000 His hair is covering his ears there, which I recommend if you have the ears he has.

00:35:09.000 His ears make me question plastic surgery.

00:35:13.000 He can hear things from around the world.

00:35:16.000 It must be a nightmare.

00:35:17.000 He can probably hear this.

00:35:19.000 Yeah, I heard he used that joke on our show.

00:35:20.000 People whisper in front of him and he's like, don't bother.

00:35:23.000 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

00:35:24.000 It's funny he's wearing a Motorhead t-shirt in that video because they are the loudest band in the history of rock and roll and he must sit at the next county with pillows on his head to hear their concerts.

00:35:36.000 Jesus Lord those things are insane!

00:35:39.000 Is he like trying to own it by having short hair?

00:35:44.000 He can't ride a motorbike without a helmet or he's gonna go two miles an hour.

00:35:49.000 There's sales!

00:35:51.000 Anyway, um, then he has, so then later on in the video, so skip ahead now to the old timestamp.

00:35:58.000 It's his narration, but with like a hundred hot chicks. 1.00

00:36:03.000 The budget on this silly little video short looks like it was about, honestly, $200,000.

00:36:07.000 Now go back to the old timestamp.

00:36:09.000 It was 209.

00:36:17.000 Okay, see those hot chicks that are dressed like strippers? 1.00

00:36:20.000 One of them is Anna Akana.

00:36:22.000 And they're supposed to be male wrestlers. 1.00

00:36:24.000 Turn it up.

00:36:25.000 So while he's saying that, they have girls lip syncing his voice.

00:36:27.000 Which is what they do in Drunk History!

00:36:45.000 Hey, Millennials, can you get your own ideas, please? 1.00

00:36:48.000 Drunk History, this was 2014.

00:36:50.000 Drunk History had been around before it was on TV, on Comedy Central.

00:36:55.000 It was on Funny or Die.

00:36:56.000 I think that was around 2009.

00:36:58.000 I remember talking to Derek Waters about Drunk History.

00:37:02.000 We were both Windy City Heat fans.

00:37:05.000 So I'm watching this and it's clear that the guy was just pouring money on people in Hollywood, young peers in Hollywood.

00:37:13.000 Guess what happens when you do that?

00:37:15.000 You end up with an entourage of super hot chicks. 1.00

00:37:17.000 Guess what happens when you do that?

00:37:18.000 You start abusing your power.

00:37:20.000 Unless you're a really awesome dude.

00:37:22.000 Like, I don't think I would abuse my power.

00:37:23.000 I'd be cool.

00:37:25.000 Well, I guess I did have that with Vice, right?

00:37:26.000 There was chicks everywhere. 1.00

00:37:28.000 I was cool.

00:37:31.000 And by cool, I mean I didn't rape.

00:37:32.000 I wasn't a me too-er.

00:37:34.000 Oh, Seth Green and Macaulay Culkin.

00:37:36.000 Oh, they're in this?

00:37:37.000 Yep, they are.

00:37:39.000 So is Jamie Whatever's Face and Adam Savage.

00:37:43.000 Oh, so he was like the in-crowd guy who would shell out money and he was the guy to be with.

00:37:47.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:37:48.000 And then he got drunk with power, started hitting food out of fat chicks' hands. 1.00

00:37:53.000 Like, one of the things he's being accused of is he told a woman that she was a girlfriend, that she was fat all the time, and she had an eating disorder. 0.98

00:38:02.000 Yeah, that's not illegal. 0.99

00:38:04.000 That's shitty. 0.58

00:38:06.000 Like, half of the accusations are just... It's called a shitty guy. 0.99

00:38:09.000 Stop hanging around with him. 1.00

00:38:11.000 And I bet...

00:38:13.000 That none of it could hold a candle to the life of, say, Motley Crue.

00:38:17.000 So these are groupies, Motley Crue groupies, who have decided, yeah, I didn't like having to blow Vince Neil after every show.

00:38:24.000 That's an element of what's going on here, I will say.

00:38:28.000 I don't want to say that's everything that's going on here. 0.99

00:38:30.000 But I remember Fred Armisen was in big shit about five years ago because he kept screwing girls. 0.99

00:38:35.000 That's it. 1.00

00:38:36.000 Not manipulation, none of that.

00:38:38.000 But it said, Fred Armisen is getting a reputation.

00:38:42.000 And you're reading it going, what happened? 0.93

00:38:44.000 Yeah, he just uses these girls for sex and he, you know, then there's another girlfriend next week and you go, so your beef is that he's not marrying the first one? 0.89

00:38:52.000 I don't understand. 0.99

00:38:53.000 What's the problem here?

00:38:53.000 He's getting laid too much?

00:38:55.000 Yeah, he had Portlandia.

00:38:57.000 He was on SNL.

00:38:58.000 He was also a wildly successful musician who played with all his favorites, like everyone from the Sex Pistols, everyone from The Clash.

00:39:06.000 He played with them, making comedy sketches with them.

00:39:09.000 He had a series on HBO that mocked documentaries.

00:39:12.000 Like, he's one of the most successful comedians of all time as an alternative kind of a comedian, you know?

00:39:17.000 Like, Adam Sandler's successful, but he has mainstream stuff. 0.90

00:39:20.000 All of Fred's shit is esoteric, and it was all a smash hit. 0.97

00:39:23.000 I'm sorry the guy got intensely laid. 0.99

00:39:27.000 What do you want him to do, not be laid? 0.99

00:39:29.000 And I talked to him about it actually and then we were saying well I'll say I was saying um this is the same as Motley Crue and Motley Crue they just went it was groupies like Pamela Barr I think her name was wrote a book called I'm With The Band and it was about how awesome it was to be a groupie and meanwhile she's just being manipulated by fucking rock stars. 0.98

00:39:49.000 So it sounds like this guy was a rock star who over-manipulated. 1.00

00:39:52.000 But anyway, one of the tangents I got on was how shitty this guy's shit is. 0.99

00:39:56.000 Like how terrible that mini-doc is. 0.99

00:39:59.000 You can look up on your own.

00:40:00.000 Wrestling isn't wrestling. 1.00

00:40:01.000 It's so crappy and half-assed and it just looks like indulgent rich kids fucking around making a piece of shit of a video short. 0.98

00:40:12.000 And then I look up Brad Gage, who was dating Anna Akana, and he had his own show. 0.98

00:40:19.000 Ready for this original idea?

00:40:21.000 It's called Drunk Driving with Brad Gage, and he picks up people who are drunk and drives them home.

00:40:30.000 And Anna Akana is one of his guests!

00:40:32.000 And you ready for even more half-assedness?

00:40:36.000 Uh, they're not drunk.

00:40:38.000 He's lying.

00:40:40.000 This woman, Anna Akana, is clearly, she's Asian, right?

00:40:44.000 So, you know, it doesn't take much to get her red-cheeked. 1.00

00:40:47.000 And she's so not drunk.

00:40:48.000 Let's play some of the audio.

00:40:50.000 You can see the video at freespeech.tv.

00:40:55.000 Strawberry what?

00:40:56.000 Meals.

00:40:57.000 Meals?

00:40:57.000 Like the camel.

00:40:58.000 Meals.

00:41:00.000 They're not like camels. 0.90

00:41:00.000 They're like the donkey. 0.90

00:41:02.000 Like the mule. 0.99

00:41:03.000 I'm a drunk chick.

00:41:05.000 I didn't drink for a long time because I was like one of those dare kids.

00:41:09.000 Like I got offered alcohol a lot and I was like I'm not gonna let my parents down.

00:41:14.000 I'm not gonna let my friends down.

00:41:17.000 You were like a really good kid and you were super, you were into dare?

00:41:19.000 It worked on you?

00:41:20.000 I wasn't like into dare.

00:41:21.000 Like why not just get drunk for this? 0.95

00:41:24.000 How lazy are you? 0.93

00:41:26.000 No, I'll just act drunk. 0.91

00:41:27.000 I'm a really good actor.

00:41:28.000 What if she was drinking, then she just did ketamine?

00:41:32.000 That kind of explains the behavior.

00:41:36.000 She's way too articulate, too, for a drunk.

00:41:38.000 They repeat themselves.

00:41:39.000 Turn it up.

00:41:42.000 How is this a show, too?

00:41:47.000 That's the first time I heard that.

00:41:49.000 You had a revelation.

00:41:50.000 Yeah, because we saw a dog.

00:41:52.000 And I was like, we had, I remember it was Malibu rum.

00:41:56.000 And we were drinking it in the car.

00:41:58.000 Anyway, you can hear how unbelievably dull that is.

00:42:01.000 Me and my girlfriend go on a drive, and my girlfriend pretends to be drunk.

00:42:06.000 Yeah.

00:42:06.000 How many views does it have?

00:42:09.000 67,000.

00:42:12.000 And it's drunk history again.

00:42:15.000 Derek Waters has one great idea that he does.

00:42:18.000 By the way, he kind of ruined that show towards the last couple seasons where it became all about political correctness and making it all about women and

00:42:26.000 Incredible women in history and making black dudes all these white dudes so now we have black dudes in American history because it's important to have multiculturalism even if it's a lie about 1810 and it just got tedious and it was you know hammering you over the head with all this social justice and he kind of ruined his show actually towards the end I got tired of it but it in the in the beginning it was a brilliant show 0.84

00:42:49.000 Um, but it's possible Max Landis, he made all those wrestlers in his story hot chicks because he wanted to bone them. 0.96

00:42:57.000 But I bet it was under the auspices of political correctness.

00:43:00.000 And let's shake things up.

00:43:02.000 Why can't we have women playing male wrestlers? 1.00

00:43:05.000 Why not?

00:43:05.000 Especially when we do the funny drunk history lip sync thing.

00:43:10.000 And then I'm looking, I'm sorry to get so in depth in this, but Ryan was getting a root canal and I had like five hours to kill at the studio.

00:43:18.000 Just a wisdom tooth removal.

00:43:19.000 So Anna Akana, she reckons herself a musician now, her music is terrible, but she writes a love song and then when they do the video they go, you know what, let's make it chicks.

00:43:33.000 So now they're politically correctly changing the story and making it two chicks.

00:43:39.000 And you can tell these two chicks are part of the Max Landis entourage.

00:43:43.000 But she's not a lesbian. 1.00

00:43:45.000 So she's trying to rock our world by making a love song that involves two chicks. 1.00

00:43:50.000 But she's not a lesbian. 1.00

00:43:51.000 And this, again, is what happens with affirmative action and political correctness.

00:43:55.000 So it's not appealing to straight people, but it's also not appealing to lesbians. 1.00

00:43:59.000 Because they go, no, that's not really what we do.

00:44:01.000 You got us wrong.

00:44:02.000 And so it's appealing to zero people. 0.99

00:44:05.000 And it's a shitty song. 0.77

00:44:07.000 But let's listen to that for a second and you folks at home can see it. 0.98

00:44:09.000 I say, hey baby, don't you worry.

00:44:16.000 This is who's deciding whose careers are ruined or not.

00:44:20.000 I don't think she can play the guitar.

00:44:23.000 Just pause for a sec.

00:44:25.000 Can you hear the latent?

00:44:42.000 Megalomania that all millennials seem to have in that song.

00:44:47.000 Like the way she sings, the beat, everything just screams me, me, me, me, me.

00:44:54.000 Don't you think?

00:44:55.000 Like she's not trying.

00:44:56.000 So therefore, I don't need to try. 0.96

00:44:58.000 I'm so fucking beautiful that I can just sit here and you can look at me. 0.97

00:45:03.000 And she's not, by the way. 0.99

00:45:04.000 And just me exist- Well, you don't like Asian. 1.00

00:45:06.000 No, but she's- I could- She's gross. 1.00

00:45:09.000 She's not gross, dude. 0.99

00:45:10.000 She is gross. 1.00

00:45:12.000 What do you think she is? 1.00

00:45:14.000 I think she's a four point something. 1.00

00:45:16.000 You're an imbecile. 1.00

00:45:17.000 Dude, look at her. 1.00

00:45:18.000 She looks like a skeleton chick. 1.00

00:45:20.000 Big fucking nose. 1.00

00:45:21.000 No lips. 1.00

00:45:22.000 Alien head.

00:45:23.000 She is 7.4 is the lowest I would ever go.

00:45:26.000 Look at her side profile. 1.00

00:45:27.000 Pathetic. 1.00

00:45:28.000 Pathetic? 1.00

00:45:28.000 Shut up. 1.00

00:45:29.000 Look at this. 1.00

00:45:30.000 Meanwhile, you dress like a freggle. 1.00

00:45:31.000 You stand behind that?

00:45:32.000 You have bangs in your eyes like the dog from Scooby-Doo. 0.98

00:45:34.000 That is an Ecuadorian. 0.99

00:45:35.000 That looks like a lost mummified skull. 0.73

00:45:38.000 The dog from Scooby-Doo.

00:45:39.000 What about the white chick? 1.00

00:45:39.000 What do you think she is? 1.00

00:45:42.000 What do you think the white chick is? 1.00

00:45:43.000 Um, way more than her.

00:45:46.000 Okay, give me a number.

00:45:48.000 I'd say they're both 7.4s.

00:45:52.000 That is not true.

00:45:53.000 They're about seven apart.

00:45:55.000 Seven apart?

00:45:55.000 They're about seven apart.

00:45:57.000 All right, you set up the mailbox while I talk about our new sponsor, Blue Chew.

00:46:04.000 Now, as you get older, erectile dysfunction isn't necessarily a serious problem, but I think you forget what your boners were when you were 14.

00:46:14.000 They were wood.

00:46:15.000 They were like

00:46:18.000 Now we just sort of get the thing going enough to use.

00:46:21.000 It's sort of like a brand new car versus a car where you've replaced the transmission.

00:46:25.000 Like it's still, it's sort of, you got to pull the choke out.

00:46:28.000 It's still like, and then we're going to get there to our destination.

00:46:33.000 But with Bluetooth,

00:46:36.000 And you can go to bluechew.com.

00:46:38.000 That's blue, like the color blue.

00:46:40.000 B-L-U-E. 1.00

00:46:41.000 You can remember what it's like to have a 14-year-old bone.

00:46:43.000 And I don't mean you having someone else's 14-year-old bone.

00:46:47.000 I mean your 14-year-old bone.

00:46:51.000 It's a way to go back in time to your heyday.

00:46:55.000 Now there's other times when you might need this thing.

00:46:57.000 You may be involved in, uh, you may be a little too wasted or something.

00:47:02.000 And sometimes when you find the one, I've noticed this is a problem with young men too.

00:47:06.000 They're dating, they're talking.

00:47:08.000 It takes like six hours to close the deal.

00:47:11.000 And by the time you finally managed to get to home, you are so destroyed that you just pass out.

00:47:17.000 That happened to me once back in my single days.

00:47:21.000 Uh, this solves that problem.

00:47:24.000 So say you were, you spent five, because sometimes getting your girl to go home can take five hours of talking and you finally convince her, want to come back and smoke a joint?

00:47:34.000 You finally get back there and you're like, you know what?

00:47:37.000 Getting, getting you to come back here took about a hundred beers.

00:47:41.000 I would much rather just go to sleep right now.

00:47:43.000 And something tells me you feel the same way.

00:47:45.000 Let's, let's hit the hay. 0.95

00:47:48.000 Or, I'm not capable of completing the task.

00:47:52.000 I think the Dead Kennedys have a song about this.

00:47:55.000 Blue Chew solves this problem, too.

00:47:58.000 And this isn't just for guys who can't perform.

00:48:00.000 It's for any guy who wants extra function to enhance the performance in the bedroom.

00:48:07.000 For instance, most guys talk a good game, but if you're one and done, Blue Chew can help your follow through for round two.

00:48:12.000 And that's something that's come up with no wanks. 0.97

00:48:14.000 Guys go, yeah, I don't masturbate, but... 0.90

00:48:18.000 When it's time to rock, I last about 30 seconds and then I don't feel like going again. 0.98

00:48:22.000 This can make sure you come again.

00:48:25.000 Whoops.

00:48:25.000 Double entendre.

00:48:26.000 I remember hearing about this guy.

00:48:28.000 My wife told me about this guy who couldn't get it up with some chick and whatever that happens. 1.00

00:48:34.000 And, uh, I think his name was David.

00:48:37.000 And she told me that when he would walk into the bar after that, his nickname was poor David.

00:48:43.000 And when he walked in, they would start whispering there's poor David.

00:48:47.000 Now, that's terrible.

00:48:48.000 That's more shame culture. 0.99

00:48:50.000 A timeline of shame!

00:48:52.000 But when she told me that story, I thought, I never want to be poor, David.

00:48:56.000 I always want to have some emergency backup in case it's an incredibly crucial lay.

00:49:01.000 What if this is your future wife? 0.90

00:49:04.000 So, Blue Chew is prescribed online and shipped straight to your door in a discreet package, so no in-person doctor's visits, no waiting in the pharmacy, and best of all, no more awkwardness.

00:49:14.000 They're made in the USA, and since Blue Chew prepares and ships direct, they're cheaper than a pharmacy.

00:49:20.000 Right now, we've got a special deal for our listeners.

00:49:23.000 Visit bluechew.com, B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com, and get your first shipment free

00:49:31.000 When you use our special promo code GAVIN, just pay the $5 shipping.

00:49:36.000 Again, that's B-L-U-E CHEW dot com, promo code GAVIN, to try it for free.

00:49:44.000 Blue Chew is the better, cheaper, faster choice.

00:49:47.000 And we thank them very much for sponsoring the podcast.

00:49:51.000 All right, shall we get into the mail? 0.98

00:49:53.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 0.99

00:49:58.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00

00:50:04.000 Let me touch it.

00:50:05.000 I wonder if your biological dad ever found out about all this.

00:50:09.000 He'd probably be surprised.

00:50:10.000 He'd go, wow, you keep mentioning that I was not around.

00:50:13.000 That was the deal.

00:50:15.000 He's French.

00:50:16.000 Has he ever said, Ryan, maybe I should have stuck around a little bit.

00:50:22.000 No, but he says he's like he'll tell people about me and like like he's a very cool like he does a cool thing. 0.82

00:50:30.000 He's crazy.

00:50:34.000 Didn't he hit on your girlfriend once? 0.99

00:50:37.000 She met him and she was saying about he was talking about her nails.

00:50:42.000 Oh, very pretty and crazy nails. 0.98

00:50:44.000 And she's like, Yeah, Ryan likes when I scratch him. 0.93

00:50:46.000 He's like, Oh, yeah, Ryan's crazy.

00:50:48.000 And she's like, How long has he been here for 40 years? 0.97

00:50:52.000 Can you do better than crazy?

00:50:53.000 And how about he gets that accent a little more anglicized?

00:50:58.000 Yeah.

00:51:00.000 So crazy.

00:51:00.000 Something like that.

00:51:01.000 That's how he talks.

00:51:04.000 Something.

00:51:05.000 Something like that.

00:51:07.000 Again, if I lived in Japan for five years, I would speak perfect Japanese with no accent.

00:51:11.000 I learned French in about a year in Montreal and had it pretty much down about five years in.

00:51:18.000 If I go to France or Quebec, I can listen to the radio, watch TV, all in French.

00:51:23.000 You have to try, immigrants. 1.00

00:51:23.000 It's not that hard. 1.00

00:51:26.000 Try! 0.94

00:51:27.000 It's almost harder to speak a different language without doing the accent.

00:51:29.000 Like, I'm learning German, and if it was like... I can't even, like, do it English.

00:51:39.000 You gotta speak German.

00:51:40.000 Let's hear your German accent.

00:51:45.000 What'd you just say?

00:51:46.000 Uh, could you say that more slowly?

00:51:49.000 Hmm.

00:51:49.000 Yeah.

00:51:51.000 This is from an Arab.

00:51:53.000 Amjad Abu Salim.

00:51:55.000 Bless you.

00:51:55.000 Gavin, I really do not like proverbs, but I just read an Arabic proverb that I thought you would appreciate.

00:52:01.000 Do not kill your country's lions to let your enemy's dogs eat you.

00:52:07.000 The West is getting rid of its lions and it's such a shame because you've had some badass lions.

00:52:12.000 Thank you, Amjad.

00:52:13.000 That's a great point.

00:52:15.000 Although, maybe they don't translate well, but Arabic sayings never really have the same punch as English sayings, you know?

00:52:22.000 That's no, a stitch in time saves nine.

00:52:25.000 Or remember that there was a Sikh cab driver that said to me once, I go, it's funny how people think Sikhs and Muslims are the same thing when Muslims killed about a million of you. 0.79

00:52:36.000 Or maybe it was they've killed a million Hindus. 0.95

00:52:38.000 They killed a lot.

00:52:40.000 And, uh, what are you doing?

00:52:42.000 I'm preparing for a... 1.00

00:52:47.000 To thank the people... You're preparing to do a free plug after we just showed our podcaster that pays good money to be a sponsor of the show, you fucking dumbass? 0.99

00:52:56.000 Well, they sent it to me. 0.98

00:52:58.000 So?

00:53:00.000 You don't just put up stuff for free, we're still working out what the cost of that sponsorship is.

00:53:04.000 I'm not gonna tell you who sent the coffee, but when they pay, we'll tell them. 0.98

00:53:08.000 You can either pay a normal amount of money for a sponsorship on this show, or just give Ryan free shit and he'll run and go, there it is! 0.98

00:53:19.000 There's coffee out there. 1.00

00:53:20.000 You don't have a dad or a brain. 0.99

00:53:23.000 Um, yeah, and the Sikh said, Oh, the Muslim experience is, is, no one understands. 1.00

00:53:30.000 Let me tell you about Muslims, my friend.

00:53:32.000 You take your arm, you dip it into a barrel of oil, and then you spray it with sesame seeds, cover the arm with sesame seeds. 0.96

00:53:43.000 That is how many times a Muslim lies in one day. 1.00

00:53:47.000 I'm like, you gotta tighten that little saying. 0.83

00:53:52.000 It takes me about an hour.

00:53:54.000 How long do I gotta sit there with sesame seeds making your thing come true?

00:54:01.000 I like the sentiment, I guess.

00:54:03.000 Nick Hizella.

00:54:05.000 Greetings, G-Dog. 0.99

00:54:06.000 My beloved father has a pair of baby fucking blue Converse. 1.00

00:54:12.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:54:13.000 But wait, it gets worse. 1.00

00:54:15.000 My darling mother also has a pair matching baby blue Converse on a couple who are well into their 60s.

00:54:22.000 That is not acceptable.

00:54:25.000 Baby blue?

00:54:25.000 When are baby blue Converse acceptable?

00:54:27.000 I think only on women and only women under six.

00:54:32.000 So I guess girls is the word?

00:54:35.000 I think we can all agree this is a close third after the Holocaust and slavery for crimes against humanity. 0.80

00:54:41.000 That's a very offensive analogy, sir, as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez just learned.

00:54:47.000 Is it millennial-splaining if I give them your advice on how to dress their age? 0.89

00:54:51.000 Yeah, you just walk up to both your parents and go, what are those?

00:54:57.000 Also, congrats on the new site, just signed up, looking forward to all the new content.

00:55:00.000 Well, you can see now your letter on video as opposed to just audio.

00:55:04.000 Please, can you ask your web developers to make it so that it remembers a timestamp where you were on a video like YouTube does?

00:55:10.000 Yes, we will get on that.

00:55:11.000 We're currently developing the app.

00:55:13.000 Lots to come down the pipeline.

00:55:17.000 And then he says, I like your new website!

00:55:19.000 And he asks that that is read to the tune of, I like your new sunglasses.

00:55:24.000 This reminds me of a letter we got recently about a chick who's having a lot of trouble dating. 1.00

00:55:30.000 She begged and pleaded to remain anonymous, but fuck that. 0.99

00:55:35.000 We're gonna say her name and show her picture. 0.99

00:55:37.000 Just kidding.

00:55:39.000 But I had to see a picture of her in order to gauge

00:55:44.000 How pretty she is.

00:55:46.000 And she's a blonde chick. 1.00

00:55:48.000 I would say she's an eight. 1.00

00:55:50.000 Uh, Ryan, I'm going to forward you a picture of her, right?

00:55:53.000 Sure.

00:55:54.000 Sure.

00:55:54.000 Now don't put the picture up on the site, but find someone who is similar.

00:56:00.000 And luckily she's not Asian. 1.00

00:56:02.000 So I know you're going to give a fair number.

00:56:04.000 Okay.

00:56:05.000 I consider it to be, well, I said eight cause you always go high when you're talking to girls, but she's definitely above 7.5.

00:56:11.000 Okay.

00:56:14.000 So find someone similar and then we'll put that picture up.

00:56:16.000 All right.

00:56:17.000 Here's her letter.

00:56:20.000 Dear Gavin and Ryan, I hardly get asked out and the last couple of times this is what happened.

00:56:24.000 Now I'm already pissed off that this 7.5 to 8.5, let's call her an 8, doesn't get hit on. 0.65

00:56:30.000 This is porn dudes. 0.98

00:56:31.000 Young men. 1.00

00:56:33.000 are so busy on Twitter disavowing their friends and being pussies and then jerking off to a computer that they're not getting out there. 0.99

00:56:41.000 I used to, you remember Patrice, not Patrice O'Neill, Dante Nero? 0.99

00:56:45.000 You got to throw five bricks a day, right?

00:56:47.000 Five of them?

00:56:48.000 I'm not letting you get away with that.

00:56:54.000 Five Bicks a day. 0.90

00:56:56.000 Sorry Bicks, I used up my R in the Frive. 1.00

00:57:00.000 I'm out of R's.

00:57:03.000 You use five hours a day and apparently that's your sixth.

00:57:06.000 Five bricks a day, Dante Nero says, because he has a nephew who just cannot get laid.

00:57:12.000 And the five bricks are just talking to girls. 0.97

00:57:14.000 Hey man, I like your dress.

00:57:16.000 Good morning.

00:57:17.000 Anything.

00:57:18.000 Anything. 1.00

00:57:19.000 Not like, nice fucking ass. 1.00

00:57:21.000 Hey, I wish I was that bike seat. 1.00

00:57:25.000 Normal shit. 1.00

00:57:26.000 Like, you look great. 1.00

00:57:27.000 Wow.

00:57:27.000 That's good.

00:57:28.000 No, that's cat calling.

00:57:30.000 No, it's not. 1.00

00:57:30.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:57:31.000 Cat calling. 1.00

00:57:32.000 Half the cat calling these Puerto Ricans do in the hood is like, God bless you, baby. 1.00

00:57:37.000 You look beautiful.

00:57:38.000 Ooh, let's prevent them from saying that.

00:57:42.000 Anyway, so I'm already pissed off.

00:57:45.000 You see her?

00:57:45.000 Yep.

00:57:46.000 I'm looking for a... What do you do?

00:57:48.000 You could take that image and put it in Google Images and then see what else comes up.

00:57:53.000 You know what I mean?

00:57:54.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:57:55.000 Reverse image search it.

00:57:56.000 Yeah.

00:57:57.000 All right.

00:57:57.000 I was recently dating a guy for a couple months.

00:57:59.000 This is that same girl.

00:58:00.000 Everything was going great.

00:58:01.000 I really liked him until one day he asked me if he could, if I would ever hook up with a girl.

00:58:05.000 Common question.

00:58:05.000 I'm fine with it.

00:58:07.000 The answer is no.

00:58:07.000 Cause I'm attracted to men.

00:58:08.000 Too bad.

00:58:09.000 Uh, anyway, he told me that he actually hooked up with a transvestite a couple of weeks before we went on our first date.

00:58:15.000 What?

00:58:20.000 He went through an app to set it up.

00:58:23.000 Pardonnez-moi?

00:58:25.000 He wanted to make sure he wasn't gay, she puts in quotes, and sought this person via online. 0.94

00:58:31.000 He ended up being totally addicted to porn and stayed up for days playing the new video game, Kerbal. 0.60

00:58:37.000 I don't know what that means.

00:58:38.000 Do you?

00:58:39.000 No.

00:58:40.000 K-E-R-B-A-L. 1.00

00:58:42.000 He was a really nice guy, but I had to draw the line somewhere.

00:58:45.000 We aren't dating anymore. 1.00

00:58:46.000 And the whole thing, the whole hooking up with a dude thing really made me feel like I needed to have a vagina and a penis for this guy. 1.00

00:58:51.000 And that I don't have. 1.00

00:58:53.000 Yeah, ladies, the second a guy says he likes being pegged or... Oh, so it's not a sex game?

00:59:00.000 No.

00:59:00.000 Kerbal?

00:59:00.000 It's a no sex game.

00:59:05.000 All video games are no sex games.

00:59:07.000 Hey, adult males, please stop playing video games.

00:59:11.000 They are for little kids.

00:59:12.000 And please stop talking about Star Wars and superhero movies.

00:59:16.000 They are for little kids.

00:59:19.000 What am I, 10?

00:59:20.000 What am I, five?

00:59:21.000 Why am I playing video games?

00:59:23.000 The only adult thing you do is beat off, and you should stop doing that too.

00:59:26.000 Alright, this is where it gets good.

00:59:29.000 A couple months before that, I was on Bumble for literally a couple days until this happened.

00:59:34.000 There was a guy that I thought was hot, and part of it was his profile, which showed his 67 Mustang.

00:59:40.000 He was a marine, had a beard, nice eyes, and cut, strong arms, etc.

00:59:45.000 Nice eyes.

00:59:46.000 I love the way women talk about dudes. 1.00

00:59:48.000 No dude has ever said, she's fucking, she's got the most nice eyes. 1.00

00:59:53.000 I was going to do that as a sketch once, where guys are talking about chicks the way chicks talk about chicks. 0.99

00:59:57.000 Like, dude, she walks in, mile-high cheekbones, fucking runway model looks, totally flaxen hair, perky breasts. 1.00

01:00:06.000 In a fashion sense, that is fashion forward. 0.99

01:00:12.000 I'd say this, she looks like Jennifer Lawrence, kind of. 1.00

01:00:17.000 No, that's way too high, you stupid piece of shit. 1.00

01:00:20.000 The most beautiful woman in the world who makes millions and millions of dollars just because she's pretty? 1.00

01:00:26.000 See, I think people are getting pretty confused with no flaws.

01:00:29.000 Like she doesn't have any notable flaws.

01:00:31.000 No, she's remarkably attractive. 0.99

01:00:33.000 Back to the drawing board.

01:00:34.000 Did you do the Google image thing I said?

01:00:35.000 Yeah.

01:00:36.000 And it was terrible.

01:00:37.000 Just awful.

01:00:40.000 It was not good.

01:00:41.000 So just complete a task for once, please.

01:00:45.000 You want me to do it?

01:00:46.000 Cause it's, it's not good.

01:00:49.000 Just find someone who looks like her.

01:00:50.000 How is that so hard?

01:00:51.000 Jennifer Lawrence.

01:00:54.000 Also, can you find someone who boxes like me?

01:00:56.000 I found someone.

01:00:58.000 Deontay Welder.

01:00:59.000 That's about you.

01:01:00.000 You know, six foot seven. 0.53

01:01:03.000 Bricks in his gloves.

01:01:06.000 Anyway, we go on this date and meet at this nice restaurant in La Jolla, California.

01:01:10.000 He's handsome, tall, but has a lispy voice.

01:01:15.000 I think that's a deal breaker.

01:01:17.000 We start talking and he's ordering me drinks because couldn't you fix that?

01:01:20.000 Like Ben Shapiro has that horrible squeak and I've told him a million times, you need to drink a bottle of whiskey and scream into a pillow for an hour. 0.99

01:01:27.000 Why'd you get buttfucked? 1.00

01:01:28.000 No. 1.00

01:01:29.000 Scream into the pillow for an hour and then smoke a cigar.

01:01:31.000 So at least it could be like this.

01:01:33.000 That'd be a little better.

01:01:33.000 Like Alex Jones has kind of a nasally voice, but it's still kind of deep at the same time.

01:01:38.000 All right.

01:01:42.000 That might do.

01:01:43.000 She kind of looks like Amanda Bynes. 1.00

01:01:46.000 Do you want to show the picture?

01:01:48.000 Yeah, that's basically what we're dealing with.

01:01:51.000 This Amanda Bynes is a little prettier than the girl we're talking about. 0.97

01:01:56.000 But yeah, that's about right.

01:01:57.000 So take that down one notch.

01:02:00.000 Oh, good. 0.99

01:02:01.000 So Amanda Bynes is fat and ugly now. 1.00

01:02:03.000 So this woman looks in between Amanda Bynes hot and Amanda Bynes fat and ugly. 1.00

01:02:08.000 She's somewhere in between the two Amanda Bynes. 1.00

01:02:12.000 What do you think of Trump?

01:02:33.000 I say, excuse me?

01:02:34.000 I'm completely taken aback.

01:02:35.000 And the way he asked this question led me to believe he had been building up to this one moment.

01:02:39.000 How can Marines not like Trump?

01:02:42.000 And we're getting to that. 1.00

01:02:43.000 I cannot make this shit up. 0.99

01:02:44.000 Why are politics in my dating life? 0.99

01:02:46.000 I literally sat there for three hours with this guy talking about politics while he asked me where I get my sources and that I'm brainwashed.

01:02:52.000 I felt responsible to at least give this guy a different perspective.

01:02:55.000 He was a total lefty.

01:02:57.000 How can you be a lefty and a Marine at the same time?

01:02:59.000 I've heard of this quite a few times.

01:03:00.000 I've heard of cops.

01:03:02.000 ...who are liberals.

01:03:03.000 It just confuses me.

01:03:04.000 I know of, and I've met, I don't know them, at least two cops who hate cops.

01:03:12.000 Isn't that bizarre?

01:03:13.000 Yeah. 0.73

01:03:14.000 One of them is a black dude who I think it just got so sick of defending his profession that he's like, look man, it's a job. 0.99

01:03:21.000 You're right. 1.00

01:03:21.000 They fucking suck. 1.00

01:03:22.000 Like that. 1.00

01:03:23.000 He just, he just got broken down. 0.98

01:03:25.000 And the other dude, he fucked up his back in the eighties. 0.99

01:03:29.000 So maybe it was a different time back then, but he's like, no, you can't fucking trust them. 0.99

01:03:33.000 They'll fucking net. 0.98

01:03:34.000 You got to watch your back. 1.00

01:03:36.000 Even at the station house, they'll fucking rob shit from your locker. 1.00

01:03:40.000 Fucking cops. 1.00

01:03:41.000 He still works with cops and helps rookies and stuff. 1.00

01:03:43.000 Sounds like he got hazed and took it personally, so now he's like, yeah, I am a cop, but fuck cops. 1.00

01:03:49.000 You know? 1.00

01:03:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:50.000 My cop friends told me that the top brass is investigating who, what cops I know.

01:03:56.000 He says he's friends with a lot of cops.

01:03:58.000 Does anyone know who these cops are? 1.00

01:04:01.000 Losers. 1.00

01:04:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:03.000 They care about that?

01:04:06.000 But, like, can you investigate jihad, please? 1.00

01:04:10.000 Why are you investigating a drunk who makes stupid fart jokes? 1.00

01:04:13.000 Because he's a leader of a hate group. 1.00

01:04:15.000 No, you banned me from that.

01:04:17.000 The FBI prevented me.

01:04:19.000 You put my friends in cages for saying that I knew them.

01:04:23.000 Alright, well, he still probably knows some.

01:04:25.000 He knows a cop.

01:04:26.000 Probably gonna bring rocket launches to some sort of talk. 0.64

01:04:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:04:33.000 Your reality is a shitty action movie. 0.99

01:04:38.000 Time to recalibrate your truths. 1.00

01:04:41.000 When, if what you say were to play out, people would stop watching it because it's a shitty movie. 0.95

01:04:48.000 Like that one I rented the other day where these guys rob Fort Knox during a hurricane and guess who stops them? 0.95

01:04:56.000 They're all ex-Marines. 0.99

01:04:58.000 Some skinny bitch with long blonde hair saves the day. 1.00

01:05:03.000 Anyway, I'm getting a cool voice with all this talking today. 0.99

01:05:07.000 At this point the people in the bar can see what's going on.

01:05:09.000 So I don't want to end the convo abruptly because now I feel like I'm trying to be a good example.

01:05:13.000 I don't know what that means like for as a Trump supporter.

01:05:16.000 He's drunk now, by the way.

01:05:17.000 I am chilling.

01:05:18.000 This isn't my first rodeo.

01:05:20.000 Oh, and mid-debate slash conversation, he keeps asking me to come back to his place so I can meet his amazing cat.

01:05:29.000 Like more than once, because he is missing the cat throughout the night.

01:05:29.000 Oof.

01:05:34.000 Yes, his cat.

01:05:35.000 What's it like? 0.99

01:05:36.000 We always talk about how hard it is for young men in this day and age, but being a young woman must be fucking rough. 0.96

01:05:41.000 And when I say young woman, I mean young sane woman who is a good person and is slightly patriotic. 0.95

01:05:48.000 I'm 29, doing prerequisites for nursing school, real estate agent, and notary.

01:05:53.000 I'm blonde 5'5 and I am not fat.

01:05:56.000 But I guess I could lose 15 pounds?

01:05:58.000 I work out though.

01:05:59.000 Anyway, I'm trying to make the point that I am probably a 6-8 depending on the guy and the day.

01:06:04.000 But whatever.

01:06:05.000 I don't know where the men are at, so I am burying myself in school and work to stay busy.

01:06:10.000 That's not a good idea, lady. 0.99

01:06:11.000 Don't give up.

01:06:12.000 Never stop fighting.

01:06:14.000 Recently I've become infatuated with the idea of getting my M1 license and just riding solo.

01:06:19.000 What's an M1 license?

01:06:20.000 A motorcycle license?

01:06:22.000 Is this a mid-life 30s crisis?

01:06:25.000 Lady, you are at the danger zone. 0.90

01:06:27.000 What is she, 29?

01:06:28.000 This is it.

01:06:29.000 This is it.

01:06:30.000 You gotta get serious.

01:06:32.000 All right, here's what you gotta do.

01:06:33.000 Start wearing heels a lot.

01:06:36.000 At least three to four days a week, you have to wear heels.

01:06:40.000 I don't care how uncomfortable they are. 0.99

01:06:41.000 I don't wanna hear shit about that. 0.98

01:06:42.000 If they're really hurting your feet, take them off when you sit down under the table where no one can see. 0.99

01:06:49.000 You need to start dressing up and you need to stop giving anyone the time of day who sucks. 1.00

01:06:54.000 Someone says they fucked a tranny, buh-bye. 1.00

01:06:57.000 Someone says they love—oh, that looked like a Z Kyle. 1.00

01:07:00.000 Someone says they miss their cat, buh-bye.

01:07:03.000 Hear a lisp, buh-bye.

01:07:04.000 Boom, boom, boom.

01:07:05.000 Speed dating is what you need now. 1.00

01:07:07.000 Here's my other advice.

01:07:09.000 Immigrants. 1.00

01:07:11.000 I know, coming from a crazy dude. 0.92

01:07:13.000 Immigrants who are on your same wavelength, are dedicated, tenacious, they managed to get here. 0.99

01:07:19.000 Canadians, Australians and Brits particularly make great boyfriends because these guys busted their ass to get down to America and they're going to be hustling. 0.93

01:07:29.000 What you're looking for in a man, ladies, is ambition, not necessarily success. 0.98

01:07:35.000 If a guy gets up at 9 a.m. 0.98

01:07:37.000 on a Monday and he has some dumb pursuit like DJ or photographer or he wants to be a movie director like Max Landis, those are all ridiculous, retarded pursuits. 0.99

01:07:47.000 But if he's busting his ass all the time at them, he'll make money and that's what you want. 0.99

01:07:52.000 Not money. 0.97

01:07:53.000 You want drive.

01:07:55.000 If a guy's playing video games all night, like Kerbal, 1.00

01:08:00.000 Then dump his ass. 1.00

01:08:01.000 Stop wasting your time. 1.00

01:08:03.000 The hourglass turns upside down from 30 to 35.

01:08:06.000 You were one year away from the ovary sands going through the hourglass.

01:08:11.000 You should be getting married now.

01:08:15.000 Anyway, that's all the time we have for today.

01:08:17.000 I'd like to thank our new sponsor, bluechew.com, and welcome to a new show on freespeech.tv, which is the GML podcast vidcast, where you can actually see Ryan and I riffing and see some of the videos that we're talking about on the show.

01:08:34.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:08:36.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:08:43.000 Don't use music we can't use!

01:08:44.000 It's mine!

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 19, 2019

#148 | Antifa is trying to SWAT our July 6th rally

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript