Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E24 - MOVIE MAGIC

00:00:10.000 There's a war on nature.

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGinnis.

00:00:20.000 Well, you can be an Earth Warrior too.

00:00:25.000 Cause I'm a warrior.

00:00:29.000 How about you?

00:00:31.000 Whoa, I'm a warrior.

00:00:35.000 That's an Earth Warrior.

00:00:40.000 A shockingly corny band from the Netherlands who sing in all kinds of different languages and they believe in the Earth so much that they want you to believe also.

00:00:55.000 Go back to the beginning of that video.

00:00:56.000 The very, very beginning.

00:00:57.000 It has a weird disclaimer.

00:01:00.000 Can you make that full screen so I can see it?

00:01:04.000 They are terrible.

00:01:06.000 No, no, no.

00:01:07.000 Before that, very beginning, very beginning.

00:01:10.000 It is permitted to watch this video in whatever way you like.

00:01:10.000 There we go.

00:01:13.000 There are no penalties or prison sentences if you watch this outside your home, in a tent, on an oil platform, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:01:21.000 You may even stick it up your nose if you like.

00:01:24.000 Hey, Europeans, I don't know what it is about you, but you're so profoundly uncool. 1.00

00:01:30.000 Maybe it's because we have blacks. 1.00

00:01:32.000 But when whites are left to their own devices, the way they talk, hey man, I'm going down to the disco. 0.95

00:01:37.000 Wait, go back to the disclaimer.

00:01:39.000 The views and opinions expressed by the pagan folk band in this video are wholly and completely shared by pagan scum records.

00:01:47.000 It's affiliates and its parent company.

00:01:48.000 You know, this is a singer, and he owns the record label and everything about this.

00:01:54.000 Omni's not a band of corporate enslaved pussies prostituting themselves for money. 0.67

00:02:00.000 Omni is a self-managed band of actual activists and free-thinking musicians.

00:02:06.000 Hokahey's even got his own.

00:02:07.000 We should get a saying like a Hokahe. 1.00

00:02:11.000 I guess we have Uhuru.

00:02:14.000 Check out this video.

00:02:15.000 It is so unbelievably bad.

00:02:20.000 That's nice.

00:02:21.000 I like nature.

00:02:22.000 By the way, you're not blowing any minds by being in the woods.

00:02:26.000 Rednecks are never not in the woods. 1.00

00:02:29.000 Look at this.

00:02:30.000 Wait, turn it up.

00:02:31.000 So if you feel like I feel the love of the earth, well, you can...

00:02:37.000 Hey, how is clubbing baby seals hurting the earth?

00:02:43.000 What is on your head?

00:02:43.000 Look at him.

00:02:44.000 And meth addict.

00:02:50.000 He moves like he's singing speed metal, but he's singing weird reggae.

00:02:55.000 And you know what else they're doing?

00:02:57.000 They don't appropriate black culture, so they're not using a Jamaican accent.

00:03:02.000 Turn it up.

00:03:04.000 Dredge.

00:03:15.000 Pretty hot.

00:03:17.000 There's a lot of hot chicks in the Earth activism movement. 1.00

00:03:22.000 Except half of them are dead.

00:03:25.000 You got one chick and one dead chick for all those burly earth men. 0.94

00:03:29.000 My children, my children, their freedom, my goal.

00:03:33.000 I'll be fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting.

00:03:36.000 Fighting for the earth?

00:03:37.000 What are you going to do?

00:03:37.000 Beat up the oil company?

00:03:39.000 Oh! 0.60

00:03:40.000 Leaf booze.

00:03:41.000 Did they film this at a Renaissance fair?

00:03:43.000 They did.

00:03:44.000 They did do that.

00:03:46.000 But is that all Renaissance?

00:03:48.000 I mean, no, I think that's their friends.

00:03:51.000 Look, even the old man is in there for some pussy. 1.00

00:03:55.000 Oh, anything to get laid. 0.99

00:03:58.000 Since my divorce, it's become very hard to meet young women.

00:04:01.000 Until I became an Earth warrior.

00:04:04.000 Whoa, what about that?

00:04:05.000 They're pro-war. 0.97

00:04:07.000 But their guns are axes.

00:04:11.000 Turn it up, dude.

00:04:11.000 I can't hear it.

00:04:13.000 It's loud in the mix.

00:04:13.000 Alright, that's enough.

00:04:24.000 That's exactly like the.

00:04:27.000 I want to catch up on some videos this particular episode.

00:04:32.000 That's exactly like the Targaryen chick. 0.83

00:04:35.000 Yeah, that's off the same album.

00:04:37.000 It's Clean Reggae for White People. 1.00

00:04:40.000 Sans Jamaican influence.

00:04:42.000 I'm a Rastafarian Targaryen.

00:04:45.000 I got some dragons in there.

00:04:47.000 Conascarian.

00:04:49.000 That blew her off the hot babe list. 0.99

00:04:51.000 And I think she was number three.

00:04:53.000 Something good in that shit.

00:04:55.000 She was right up there.

00:04:56.000 Number three.

00:04:57.000 Do you like the song Eat the Meek by No Effects?

00:05:00.000 No, I don't like No Effects.

00:05:01.000 I don't like 90s punk.

00:05:03.000 It's not punk.

00:05:03.000 It's PowerPop.

00:05:04.000 Okay.

00:05:05.000 Although, I will say, we were sort of snobby about Rancid because they were so late to the game.

00:05:12.000 But as far as the punk experience, they were an authentically punk band and had maybe even as many hits as The Clash.

00:05:20.000 There, I said it.

00:05:21.000 And I regret poo-pooing them in the past. 0.90

00:05:25.000 That guy, Tim Armstrong, I think pitching a fastball over 100 miles an hour and writing a lot of pop songs is an incredible gift that some don't have.

00:05:37.000 I think I'm going to have to turn it up manually on the speaker, you shithead.

00:05:39.000 What a weird thing to play guitar.

00:06:00.000 That guy, the other guy in that video, not the singer, that's Lars Fredrickson, the guy with the fat head who does that All I Want to Do is fight.

00:06:08.000 He's got some great jams too.

00:06:09.000 I suspect Tim Armstrong wrote them as a favor.

00:06:13.000 You'll notice that when people are hanging around really good songwriters, they're really good songwriters and then they're not, when they're not hanging around them.

00:06:20.000 Like Courtney Love got real good at writing songs when she was dating Kurt Cobain.

00:06:26.000 Then when he blew his head off, the quality in the songs got a little bit worse.

00:06:30.000 Interesting.

00:06:31.000 Hmm.

00:06:32.000 What a funny.

00:06:32.000 Ryan just had a tooth removed, by the way.

00:06:35.000 It's very unique.

00:06:36.000 How are you feeling, Rye guy?

00:06:37.000 Let's have a look at you.

00:06:38.000 Feeling good.

00:06:38.000 Let me get these.

00:06:40.000 I just gotta get this camera on real quick.

00:06:43.000 Okay.

00:06:44.000 I also took some things for the pain.

00:06:49.000 So you're feeling funny.

00:06:50.000 Now that I had a painkiller day, now you have a painkiller day.

00:06:53.000 That's right.

00:06:54.000 So you're going to be a little lowgie, as the diabetics like to say.

00:06:57.000 But these are legal painkillers.

00:06:58.000 Do you ever hang out with a diabetic and you're talking to him and he just starts acting weird?

00:07:03.000 No.

00:07:04.000 Yeah, it's a thing.

00:07:05.000 When you hang out with diabetics, when they're low on blood sugar, they just start going, I guess.

00:07:12.000 Oh, dude, wait, wait, wait.

00:07:13.000 I think I have diabetes then.

00:07:14.000 And then you go, I got to get you a Gatorade like now.

00:07:17.000 And you get him a Gatorade and he's like, whoa, what the hell was that about?

00:07:22.000 Speaking of songwriting on today's Super Video app, by the way, you must be enjoying my vintage t-shirt, Operation Desert Storm.

00:07:30.000 Do you remember that one?

00:07:31.000 1991?

00:07:32.000 That was when Saddam Hussein said, no, I'm going to control the oil, actually.

00:07:39.000 Kuwait is now mine and I handle all oil prices.

00:07:42.000 And we went, those were the glory days when we would turn the desert to glass if it rubbed us the wrong way.

00:07:55.000 Some of the greatest war movies came from that war.

00:07:57.000 Oh, like what?

00:07:58.000 Like In the Army Now with Pauly Shore and Andy Dick.

00:08:01.000 Yeah, that's a really good example of a great war movie, Ryan.

00:08:05.000 It holds up.

00:08:06.000 It's so funny.

00:08:07.000 Okay.

00:08:09.000 Speaking of songwriting, look down at my notes here to yesterday.

00:08:15.000 Yesterday's this movie, I think it might already be out.

00:08:18.000 know um and it's about Okay.

00:08:22.000 Not that far down.

00:08:23.000 Stony baloney.

00:08:24.000 Quarter, dude.

00:08:24.000 Gotcha.

00:08:27.000 It's about a guy who, there's a weird sort of blip.

00:08:31.000 It's like the earth gets rebooted and thousands of cities go without power.

00:08:35.000 And at the same time, he hits his head.

00:08:37.000 Which is, wait a minute.

00:08:38.000 The hitting your head and having a new magical thing is the same as Amy Schumer in Pretty Girl.

00:08:44.000 She feels bad about herself because she's an ugly five. 1.00

00:08:48.000 Then she hits her head and then she comes out and she sees herself as a 10, which makes her come across as a D Y K E? 0.99

00:08:59.000 What?

00:09:00.000 I was going to say as a 7.

00:09:06.000 You really are the shittiest detective in the world.

00:09:11.000 You are like, get smart.

00:09:14.000 You need to market that, dude.

00:09:15.000 You have an ability to get the worst possible answer to every question.

00:09:20.000 What's two and two?

00:09:21.000 What's two plus two?

00:09:23.000 Music.

00:09:24.000 Yeah, it would be something, not a number.

00:09:27.000 Oh, man.

00:09:28.000 I should be on like the boardwalk.

00:09:29.000 Like, you put a quarter on me, and I'm just like, yeah.

00:09:33.000 Oh, great.

00:09:34.000 Oh, great, shitty detective.

00:09:36.000 Oh, tell me what.

00:09:37.000 If Amy Schumer's a five in real life and she hits her head and feels like a 10, what is she?

00:09:42.000 The answer, by the way, is seven.

00:09:43.000 Not to spell the word dyke.

00:09:48.000 I hope you didn't show any compromising either.

00:09:50.000 I got a when you did that.

00:09:54.000 What's going on here?

00:09:55.000 So yeah, show the trailer for yesterday.

00:09:58.000 You can handle that.

00:09:59.000 I got you.

00:10:00.000 I could do your job.

00:10:02.000 Passed out.

00:10:03.000 Yep.

00:10:04.000 Blackout drunk.

00:10:05.000 I've asked you to find this link now about two hours ago.

00:10:09.000 And how are we doing with it?

00:10:10.000 Doing good better.

00:10:11.000 What are you doing?

00:10:12.000 Jamil unused.

00:10:14.000 No, it's in today's notes, you retard! 1.00

00:10:17.000 Okay, hold on.

00:10:19.000 Here we go.

00:10:21.000 What are you doing?

00:10:24.000 Oh, I don't even know where you are.

00:10:25.000 No, that's another email.

00:10:26.000 Are you high?

00:10:28.000 There's a couple emails.

00:10:29.000 Hold on.

00:10:29.000 Yeah, song is the first one.

00:10:31.000 That starts with the Earth song.

00:10:32.000 Then you go down like eight links and you see yesterday.

00:10:36.000 Oh, I got you.

00:10:39.000 Wow.

00:10:41.000 That was tough.

00:10:42.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:10:43.000 Show the logos.

00:10:44.000 You should have had all these ready, by the way.

00:10:48.000 This was my last gig.

00:10:51.000 If it hasn't happened by now, it's like a miracle.

00:10:53.000 Miracles happen.

00:10:57.000 I hate that production companies show you their logos in the opening.

00:11:02.000 So all the lights go out in the whole world.

00:11:04.000 What happened?

00:11:06.000 Electricity flicked off all over the world.

00:11:08.000 Sheesh! 0.96

00:11:11.000 Yesterday.

00:11:12.000 Ellie bought you a present.

00:11:14.000 Oh, my troubles seem so far away.

00:11:19.000 Now it looks as though they're here to stay.

00:11:23.000 Oh, I believe in the world.

00:11:26.000 It's weird watching a trailer on a show.

00:11:29.000 I mean, I'm into it.

00:11:31.000 Why did you write that?

00:11:33.000 I didn't write it.

00:11:34.000 Paul McCartney wrote it.

00:11:35.000 The Beatles.

00:11:36.000 Who?

00:11:38.000 Is it the guy who did Thor?

00:11:40.000 No.

00:11:41.000 The Beatles.

00:11:43.000 It's the guy who did Slum Dog Millionaire.

00:11:46.000 Oh, okay.

00:11:48.000 See, no one's heard of the Beatles.

00:11:50.000 No one's heard of John Lennon.

00:11:51.000 No one's heard of Paul McCartney.

00:11:54.000 And he's a failed musician who is about to give up his career.

00:11:57.000 And he finally is realizing now that the Beatles don't exist.

00:12:00.000 Whoa, snap. 0.62

00:12:01.000 So he's just going to steal all their songs.

00:12:04.000 Wow.

00:12:05.000 Mother Mary comes to me.

00:12:08.000 Sorry.

00:12:09.000 I'm just listening to Jack's new song.

00:12:10.000 What's this one called?

00:12:12.000 Leave It Be.

00:12:13.000 Let it be.

00:12:13.000 Leave It Be.

00:12:14.000 Leave It Be.

00:12:15.000 They do that joke a few times, even in the trailer.

00:12:17.000 I want to hold your hand.

00:12:23.000 Hi, we should talk.

00:12:25.000 See, we pay.

00:12:25.000 All right, so anyway, you get the idea.

00:12:27.000 He becomes a super famous millionaire musician, and then some supermodel wants to date him.

00:12:32.000 But should I stay with the girl I had at the beginning?

00:12:35.000 They always have to put a romance thing in there, so girls will come to the movie too, and they got to double their revenue that way. 0.81

00:12:41.000 But the guys are sitting there going, why is there a love story, a love thread?

00:12:45.000 Even my son, we went to see Spider-Man, the one with Kirsten Dunce.

00:12:49.000 And he's like, why do I got to watch these two go on dates?

00:12:52.000 I just want to see Spider-Man.

00:12:54.000 We're at Spider-Man, not Spidey the Love Bug.

00:12:59.000 Anyway, so that's a cool idea for a movie, and it looks like it's really well done, and I bet it's going to be good.

00:13:06.000 But you can't just take the part of Hot Tub Time Machine that you thought was a really good part.

00:13:15.000 In Hot Tub Time Machine, Lou, what's his name?

00:13:18.000 Turn it up.

00:13:21.000 He starts Google.

00:13:22.000 My real passion's music, though.

00:13:23.000 So pissed the band broke up.

00:13:25.000 Band?

00:13:26.000 What band were you ever in?

00:13:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:30.000 Motley Lou.

00:13:32.000 Yeah, and he starts Lugal instead of.

00:13:34.000 Yeah, Lugal is a search engine he started.

00:13:37.000 He went back in time.

00:13:38.000 You know I'm a dreamer, but my heart's a gold.

00:13:45.000 Director Steve Pink.

00:13:48.000 Oh my god, if I changed my name, I think it'd be Steve Pink.

00:13:52.000 Isn't that an awesome name?

00:13:53.000 Yeah.

00:13:57.000 Oh wait, this is the actual credits for the movie.

00:13:59.000 This is the ending of the movie.

00:14:01.000 So Steve Pink's a real guy.

00:14:03.000 I don't know why you laughed at that.

00:14:04.000 I thought, fuck you, Steve.

00:14:06.000 I thought you were just laughing at his name.

00:14:07.000 No.

00:14:08.000 But it reminds me also of Office Space.

00:14:14.000 What are you doing?

00:14:19.000 Did that almost make you puke?

00:14:21.000 I got more where that comes from.

00:14:24.000 He's throwing bloody wads of gauze into the office wastebasket.

00:14:31.000 Told you we should put a bag in there, and you're like, nah.

00:14:34.000 Oh, I want to talk about puke as a weapon later on.

00:14:37.000 After we do this.

00:14:38.000 But yeah, so Hot Tub Time Machine has this thing where Lou goes back in time.

00:14:41.000 He starts Lugal.

00:14:43.000 And then he also goes back in time and just shows Motley Crue and Nikki Sixx all of his own songs.

00:14:51.000 I wonder if that would...

00:14:56.000 Maybe you have X amount of gas in the tank, and if you were to give Nikki Six all his awesome songs that he wrote, like Home, Sweet Home, or Coming Home, whatever that was, maybe that would save his gas, and then he'd still have another 12 super hits because he didn't spend it on those super hits.

00:15:14.000 So he's obviously a talented songwriter.

00:15:16.000 Then you could go back in time again and show him those 24 super hits.

00:15:20.000 Then he writes 12 more.

00:15:21.000 When would it end?

00:15:23.000 He could have like 500 super hits.

00:15:26.000 Anyway, so Office Space had a thing where they shaved the fraction off every transaction.

00:15:31.000 Do you remember this?

00:15:34.000 On 1,000,210.

00:15:36.000 Compounds the interest, right?

00:15:37.000 It uses all these extra decimal places that just get rounded up.

00:15:41.000 So we simplified the whole thing and we just rounded them all down and just dropped the remainder into an account that we opened.

00:15:49.000 So you're stealing?

00:15:52.000 No, no, you don't understand.

00:15:55.000 It's very complicated.

00:15:57.000 It's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny here.

00:16:01.000 And over time, they add up to a lot.

00:16:04.000 Oh, okay.

00:16:06.000 So you're going to make a lot of money, right?

00:16:08.000 Right?

00:16:08.000 Yeah.

00:16:09.000 It's not yours?

00:16:11.000 Well, it becomes ours.

00:16:13.000 How is that not stealing?

00:16:18.000 I don't think that I'm explaining this very well.

00:16:21.000 You remember this part?

00:16:22.000 The 7-Eleven.

00:16:22.000 So every transaction has a bunch of different decimal places, and you have to round it up or down.

00:16:28.000 So instead of rounding it up, they round it down and they get those little shavings, those penny shavings, and they add up, which is the plot of Superman 3.

00:16:36.000 There are always fractions left over in big corporations, but they round it down to the lowest whole number.

00:16:44.000 What am I supposed to do with half a cent, buy a third red mouse?

00:16:47.000 You mean everybody loses those fractions?

00:16:49.000 They don't exactly lose them.

00:16:50.000 You can't lose what you never got.

00:16:52.000 Then what happens to those half cents?

00:16:54.000 The company gets it?

00:16:55.000 No, not really.

00:16:56.000 They can't be bothered to collect a half cent from your paycheck any more than you could.

00:17:00.000 Then what happens to them?

00:17:02.000 They're just floating around out there.

00:17:04.000 The computer's nowhere.

00:17:06.000 How many sugars?

00:17:08.000 One and a half.

00:17:09.000 One and a half.

00:17:12.000 Anyway, if you recall, the way Office Space dealt with that is they said someone explains the shaving of the scent.

00:17:20.000 They go, yeah, no, it was the same as it was in Superman 3.

00:17:25.000 So they just quote Superman 3 in the movie Office Space, which, by the way, was written by Mike Judge, one of the greatest comedy writers of all time.

00:17:34.000 You got to see that movie he did about working at a soda factory, or was it a beer factory?

00:17:39.000 God, it was good.

00:17:40.000 He talks about how you have to get home.

00:17:42.000 If you want to have sex with your wife, you have to get home before she does the drawstring on her sweatpants when she comes home to change. 1.00

00:17:48.000 And they see him racing to get home and someone talks to the guy for too long.

00:17:51.000 And he finally gets in the door just as Kristen Wigg is like tying up the sweatpants and he's like, damn it! 0.96

00:18:00.000 So yeah, it's a brilliant trick to get away with murder.

00:18:04.000 You just say, yeah, I stole it from Superman 3.

00:18:09.000 What do you want to do about it, bitch? 1.00

00:18:11.000 So go to the very end of the notes because you making me barf reminded me of this vomit as a weapon.

00:18:18.000 It's the fourth last link on our notes.

00:18:22.000 Okay, check this out.

00:18:23.000 Make this full screen.

00:18:24.000 This is a fight going on at some parking garage, and some woman comes up with a new weapon that snakes and a lot of reptiles have been using for a while.

00:18:33.000 But this is the first time I've seen a human use it.

00:18:37.000 No audio?

00:18:39.000 Okay, keep your eye on the fat chick. 1.00

00:18:41.000 Was it audio on yours?

00:18:42.000 I don't know.

00:18:43.000 When you saw it?

00:18:44.000 I don't think so.

00:18:45.000 Maybe not.

00:18:46.000 I don't remember.

00:18:47.000 Here we go.

00:18:49.000 Okay, keep your eye on the fat chick. 1.00

00:18:51.000 The fat chick on the far left. 1.00

00:18:54.000 She's about to unleash. 0.92

00:18:55.000 By the way, warning, trigger warning, this is gross.

00:18:58.000 And then she gets in there with a good one.

00:18:58.000 Blah.

00:19:01.000 Oh, oh.

00:19:03.000 Wow.

00:19:05.000 Whoa, I just had a laugh, cough, barf.

00:19:08.000 Oh, oh, she did it again. 1.00

00:19:09.000 She did it again? 1.00

00:19:10.000 Oh, go back.

00:19:11.000 Wow, she's almost like a fucking. 1.00

00:19:12.000 I was too busy talking about myself.

00:19:15.000 Oh, now she's using it on other people. 1.00

00:19:19.000 I clicked off because I couldn't look at it.

00:19:21.000 Wait, go back.

00:19:22.000 Are they all her enemies?

00:19:23.000 Is she getting the right people or is she getting some allies? 0.98

00:19:26.000 Is there some friendly fire in there?

00:19:28.000 Oh, I got another one.

00:19:29.000 No, that one was just...

00:19:29.000 Ew.

00:19:33.000 That poor bastard is, how does he not puke now?

00:19:36.000 Covered in bitch. 1.00

00:19:38.000 So, anyway, I go, well, that's the only time that's going to be on camera.

00:19:42.000 Nope.

00:19:43.000 I have a Jewish gentleman and a person of color getting in a tiff.

00:19:49.000 Of course, every time you look up this link, it's all about racism, but who knows?

00:19:53.000 It could have been the same as the last time.

00:19:55.000 But this, that Hasidic Jew, or is he Orthodox?

00:19:58.000 He doesn't like that person of color. 1.00

00:20:05.000 wow It's a vampire.

00:20:12.000 Oh, no.

00:20:13.000 Did he just break a bottle on her head?

00:20:15.000 I tried.

00:20:17.000 Anyway, I love you.

00:20:19.000 I'm not the fan.

00:20:23.000 And then does nothing.

00:20:25.000 You know what that might be?

00:20:29.000 Get out of there.

00:20:30.000 You gotta go.

00:20:30.000 Fast.

00:20:31.000 What the fudge?

00:20:32.000 It might have had his mouth full of like a drink.

00:20:34.000 Because it looked a little...

00:20:37.000 It didn't...

00:20:38.000 There wasn't a lot...

00:20:39.000 I looked too in control.

00:20:40.000 The other one was like...

00:20:41.000 Yeah.

00:20:46.000 I think we're still at one example of barf.

00:20:51.000 I don't know, because I see you smiling.

00:20:53.000 Look at this.

00:20:54.000 I see open mouth.

00:20:59.000 Oh, you.

00:21:01.000 I think that's like, pew, have you ever been barfed on?

00:21:08.000 I made people barf.

00:21:10.000 You feel sick?

00:21:11.000 Yeah.

00:21:13.000 Whoa, that would be cool if watching those clips made you so sick that you threw up and then you barfed on me.

00:21:19.000 Yeah.

00:21:20.000 That would suck.

00:21:21.000 All right, let's start the show, right?

00:21:24.000 Yeah.

00:21:24.000 Jesus.

00:21:25.000 We're already pretty deep into it.

00:21:28.000 I was going to choose this song.

00:21:31.000 Now you're over to Link 2, my friend.

00:21:34.000 And it's by Woody Guthrie.

00:21:36.000 Show the picture when you show this, because he's got his guitar.

00:21:38.000 This guitar kills fascists.

00:21:40.000 This machine kills fascists.

00:21:42.000 God, folk music is boring, isn't it?

00:21:44.000 Turn it up.

00:21:45.000 I can't hear anything today.

00:21:46.000 It's in the mix real good.

00:21:48.000 I'm not in the mix.

00:21:49.000 I'm not in the mix.

00:21:54.000 Hi, I like folk music.

00:21:56.000 It's just a little plucking on the guitar and then me saying a poem.

00:22:00.000 In other words, it's kind of just part of a song.

00:22:03.000 Well, let's bore everyone to tears.

00:22:08.000 By the way, just pause for a second.

00:22:12.000 You see, this machine kills fascists.

00:22:14.000 The left, back in World War II, was totally pro-communist, pro-Russia.

00:22:23.000 And then they...

00:22:29.000 I'm screwing up this story.

00:22:31.000 I think they may have even been pro-Nazi.

00:22:35.000 I think the left was sympathetic to Germany in World War II.

00:22:40.000 And then they started killing Jews.

00:22:42.000 And then they started saying, oh, no, no, no, fascists.

00:22:45.000 And then Woody Guthrie was like, this machine kills fascists.

00:22:48.000 We hate.

00:22:49.000 Let me go double check that before I go making it part of my news program.

00:22:55.000 Or maybe you can look it up.

00:22:56.000 But yeah, the whole this machine kills fascists is a 90-degree turn on their views of either Nazis or communists.

00:23:04.000 They're both the same to me.

00:23:06.000 But anyway, this is a really good article.

00:23:08.000 Nolte, John Nolte over at Breitbart.

00:23:11.000 And they've decided, or sorry, some Native American activist has decided that Woody Guthrie is racist.

00:23:17.000 And that song, you're familiar with the song, right?

00:23:21.000 This land is your land, this land is my land, from Vancouver Island to the Himalayan Mountains.

00:23:21.000 Yeah.

00:23:30.000 And it's all, it's actually a pro-Indian song because it's saying the colonists, the landowners, they don't own this land.

00:23:36.000 We own this land together.

00:23:38.000 But this writer was taking, this Smithsonian writer was taking it to mean that this is America's land.

00:23:44.000 The song, This Land Is Our Land, was meant as a rebuke of God bless America because he thought that was too patriotic.

00:23:53.000 But John Nolte's a great writer.

00:23:54.000 Pull that article up.

00:23:55.000 See if I can read it.

00:23:58.000 Blow it up.

00:24:01.000 The fascist woke tards are now attacking. 1.00

00:24:06.000 Do you feel weird?

00:24:08.000 Yeah.

00:24:09.000 Okay.

00:24:09.000 The fascist woke tards are now attacking communist folk singer Woody Guthrie for the patriotic rhetoric in his classic anthem, This Land is Your Land.

00:24:16.000 By the way, there's an asterisk on communist because he wasn't technically a member.

00:24:20.000 An American Indian writer at Smithsonian Folklife admits the lyrics to This Land is Your Land shake me up like a soda can every time I hear them.

00:24:27.000 As an activist folk musician and songwriter in Lula Wildes and recent label mate of Woody Guthrie on Smithsonian Folkways recordings, oh, I'm already tedioused to death.

00:24:38.000 My social circles tend to worship Guthrie as the father of all musical protests.

00:24:42.000 But as a native person, I believe This Land is Your Land falls flat.

00:24:46.000 Oh.

00:24:47.000 By critiquing This Land is Your Land, I don't mean to imply that Guthrie himself promoted conquest, but the song is indicative of American leftist role in native invisibility.

00:24:56.000 Oh my God.

00:24:59.000 It's like working out reading their writing.

00:25:00.000 But scroll way down.

00:25:02.000 Not way down, but no, no, Lord.

00:25:03.000 No, back to where we were.

00:25:07.000 Okay, this is one of my favorite paragraphs and why I brought it up.

00:25:11.000 The overall piece is some 2,700 tedious and self-aggrandizing words long, one of those endless simpering essays that is three times longer than necessary because the writer is so terrified of saying something incorrect that the unfortunate reader is buried in all her ass covering. 0.55

00:25:31.000 My Canadian accent peaked out there with buried.

00:25:34.000 That is so true, and I'm sorry to be sexist, but I find it true of women's writing in particular, especially young women. 0.79

00:25:42.000 When they write, holy crap, do they go on?

00:25:44.000 Which brings me to the hot story of the day, according to Twitter Moments, which I think is a great place to go for the top stories.

00:25:58.000 Because, like, you look at the top stories At CNN, and it's focused on politics and global policy and war.

00:26:05.000 And you look at Fox News, and it's more like the GOP perspective.

00:26:09.000 Although there is a lot of liberal perspective, believe it or not, on Fox News if you ever actually watch it.

00:26:13.000 But Twitter moments encapsulate everything.

00:26:17.000 So if sports is big that day, if LeBron James broke his leg, it's on the front page.

00:26:22.000 So you don't really get what's important.

00:26:24.000 You get what's important to all of America.

00:26:28.000 And that's often inane trash.

00:26:31.000 Anyway, today's inane trash.

00:26:34.000 Where is it in my notes?

00:26:35.000 I'm having trouble finding it now.

00:26:37.000 It might be on the more on one.

00:26:40.000 Yeah, but that's just more on it.

00:26:42.000 Oh.

00:26:45.000 Oh, the original one that's in there.

00:26:47.000 From the first email that would be after Norm...

00:26:54.000 Yeah.

00:26:56.000 Oh, isn't it?

00:26:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:58.000 Yeah, so go to that one.

00:27:01.000 That's John Landis' son.

00:27:02.000 John Landis did Animal House, the greatest work of art the world's ever seen.

00:27:06.000 It should be in the Louvre.

00:27:07.000 It's a masterpiece.

00:27:08.000 He's worth $150 million.

00:27:11.000 And I don't think it's possible to have $150 million and not have a kid that's a douche.

00:27:18.000 Like, he's had, he has nerf parties at his house.

00:27:20.000 He started this sort of group of kids called the Color Collective or the Color Family or something like that.

00:27:27.000 And he makes these terrible videos or made those terrible videos that were just about him getting laid.

00:27:35.000 And the guy's a douche and he appears to be a total asshole, but that's not illegal.

00:27:39.000 And this guy's career is over now because you just showed his face, by the way, Ryan, without the headline.

00:27:44.000 That's not interesting to the people at home.

00:27:46.000 Multiple women come forward with allegations of abuse by Hollywood screenwriter Max Landis.

00:27:51.000 Look at his ears.

00:27:53.000 He should have known this was coming.

00:27:56.000 He should have heard these rumors from a mile away.

00:27:59.000 He can hear the future.

00:28:00.000 He can hear this right now.

00:28:01.000 We'll probably get a text.

00:28:03.000 Hey, I couldn't help but hear that on the other end of the continent, you guys are planning to discuss the end of my career.

00:28:11.000 So, you know, as I've said a million times, I ran to a guy at a bar last night, by the way, recognized me.

00:28:18.000 He goes, hey, man, big fan of the show.

00:28:21.000 You got to stop repeating your stories.

00:28:23.000 And I said, fuck you.

00:28:25.000 They're greatest hits.

00:28:26.000 Tell the stones to stop doing satisfaction.

00:28:30.000 But as I always say, seven years ago, if I heard about some serial rapist, I'd say, let's go get him.

00:28:37.000 Let's get the baseball bats, boys.

00:28:39.000 Today I go, let me look into this.

00:28:41.000 Now, looking into this means going into Millennial Land.

00:28:46.000 And Millennial Land is a chore.

00:28:50.000 First of all, look at this article, this Daily Beast article.

00:28:53.000 So now we're over to more on Mike Landis.

00:28:55.000 The article...

00:29:00.000 Daily Beast article?

00:29:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:03.000 Sorry.

00:29:03.000 You're right.

00:29:04.000 But this is just, that's another example of what the Daily Beast is.

00:29:08.000 Go down to here is the article.

00:29:10.000 It's a little below that.

00:29:11.000 Alrighty.

00:29:13.000 Gotcha.

00:29:14.000 The writing.

00:29:15.000 Okay, so this is by a girl named Amy What's Hame?

00:29:18.000 Kimmelman?

00:29:19.000 Scroll down.

00:29:20.000 Oh, foot. 0.95

00:29:21.000 Eight Woman Accuse. 0.95

00:29:23.000 Well, you already saw the title.

00:29:25.000 Amy Zimmerman.

00:29:26.000 Okay.

00:29:26.000 So she's probably like, I don't know, 24.

00:29:29.000 Look at how these kids write.

00:29:30.000 Watch how long that is.

00:29:31.000 Just scroll.

00:29:32.000 Just show the sheer length.

00:29:35.000 It's like a Woody Guthrie song, eating Yaka Yaka. 1.00

00:29:39.000 Look at that.

00:29:40.000 I thought that was the end banner.

00:29:42.000 No.

00:29:44.000 Yeesh.

00:29:45.000 And the Woody Guthrie song isn't long, you dummy.

00:29:49.000 It was the article about it that was long.

00:29:50.000 Look at this thing.

00:29:52.000 Hey, lady, these are your notes. 1.00

00:29:56.000 This is crazy.

00:29:57.000 No, no, now you're into other articles, dude.

00:29:59.000 Oh.

00:30:01.000 But I'm reading it going, all right, what did you do exactly?

00:30:05.000 Now, I found two things, two accusations.

00:30:07.000 One was that this girl was super wasted and her roommate heard her saying, like, hey, what is that, Ryan?

00:30:16.000 And she goes, Ryan's her boyfriend, or her ex-boyfriend or something.

00:30:20.000 She's with Max.

00:30:21.000 Oh, my God.

00:30:23.000 He's convinced her that he's Ryan.

00:30:25.000 She's so annihilated.

00:30:28.000 And now he's going to try to have sex with her as someone else while she's blackout drunk, basically passed out.

00:30:33.000 So she runs and chases him off. 0.94

00:30:35.000 That's, even though you don't put your penis in, that's sexual assault. 0.73

00:30:40.000 So that could be a doozy.

00:30:41.000 And having sex with a woman who thinks you're someone else and is blind drunk is also rape. 0.53

00:30:47.000 Then there was another story.

00:30:48.000 By the way, this is me parsing through thousands and thousands of just rumors and slander and tweets.

00:30:55.000 Again, I'm not defending the guy.

00:30:57.000 I'm covering my ass here.

00:30:58.000 I'm not defending the guy, but you just ended his career.

00:31:02.000 And you didn't go to the cops.

00:31:06.000 At one point, the one woman who was on the couch said she went to the cops.

00:31:10.000 And what was it?

00:31:13.000 The lawyer said, oh yeah.

00:31:16.000 Shortly after they filed the report, so she did file a report, which is what you need to do.

00:31:21.000 If someone is sexually assaults you, you need to file a report.

00:31:24.000 Shortly after filing the report, Dion complained Callie and her mother, sorry, accompanied Callie and her mother to the courthouse for hearing.

00:31:31.000 As they were sitting in the waiting area of the courtroom, Dion recalled Max's attorney approaching them.

00:31:35.000 She began speaking, and her tone was condescending and aggressive. 0.98

00:31:39.000 Yeah, she's defending a guy you accused of rape.

00:31:43.000 She's your enemy. 0.76

00:31:45.000 We had 620,000 men die in the Civil War.

00:31:48.000 Can you be uncomfortable for a little bit to stop rape?

00:31:53.000 Asking Allie if she understood what the process would be like, she indicated it would be long and she would have to talk about the assault over and over.

00:32:00.000 The attorney came off as patronizing.

00:32:02.000 Like, this is what makes me nuts about society today is any kind of confrontation.

00:32:07.000 And I felt uncomfortable and I felt unsafe.

00:32:09.000 Yeah, you're fighting rape.

00:32:11.000 It's a war.

00:32:12.000 You got to get tough.

00:32:13.000 I'm sorry.

00:32:14.000 I'm sorry if it's uncomfortable.

00:32:15.000 And there's eight women making allegations.

00:32:18.000 And most of these allegations, by the way, are just, he's a dick.

00:32:21.000 He's an asshole.

00:32:23.000 One of them is I was in a relationship with him and he kept telling me I was fat.

00:32:28.000 And he made me lose 15 Pounds and he would hit food out of my mouth.

00:32:32.000 Dump him.

00:32:35.000 That's called an asshole.

00:32:37.000 You don't get to whine about it and ruin his career because you were stupid enough to keep dating him.

00:32:42.000 One of the other women in this, and this is the problem with Ryan having his teeth taken out, is I end up reading all this crap and learning. 0.73

00:32:49.000 I've never been on the Daily Beast before.

00:32:51.000 It is terrible.

00:32:53.000 It's just salacious gossip.

00:32:54.000 It's just girls nattering is what the Daily Beast is. 1.00

00:32:58.000 And when I say girls, I include the beta males who have the same level of testosterone.

00:33:05.000 She said, you know, you don't know when you're in it that you're in an abusive relationship.

00:33:10.000 You don't know until you're after.

00:33:12.000 Yeah, if you don't know that you're being abused, the abuse isn't that bad.

00:33:17.000 Get out of the relationship, ladies. 1.00

00:33:20.000 I could feel that Callie was overwhelmed.

00:33:22.000 Callie sat there, tears running down her face, holding hands with her mother and with me.

00:33:26.000 Callie said she did not want to go through with the process.

00:33:30.000 Way to go!

00:33:32.000 So you get to just do it from your phone?

00:33:34.000 That's how you get to ruin lives?

00:33:35.000 That's not the way it works, ladies. 1.00

00:33:37.000 There's a Magna Carta.

00:33:39.000 You have to actually proceed with these things.

00:33:42.000 Max Landis did Beast, by the way.

00:33:44.000 No, Bright.

00:33:45.000 That Netflix show with the demon orc.

00:33:48.000 It got terrible reviews.

00:33:49.000 Daily Beast hated it.

00:33:51.000 Actually, go back to Here's the Beginning.

00:34:01.000 That's in More.

00:34:04.000 It's one of the last links on that More thing.

00:34:08.000 There's a man who broke the story, and then a woman who just, I don't know, interviewed everyone in the world and got their take on it and wrote about it.

00:34:14.000 But this guy, Marlo Stern, is a beta male, big fat loser, who's obviously a critic.

00:34:19.000 Those who can't do, teach. 1.00

00:34:20.000 And those who can't teach, write about people who do stuff.

00:34:23.000 And look at the, yeah, there he is.

00:34:25.000 But look at the opening to his article about how Max Landis sucks.

00:34:29.000 You realize that he's just jealous and he wishes he got a show on Netflix.

00:34:34.000 Why am I the editor, the entertainment editor, a daily beast?

00:34:38.000 But read the first paragraph.

00:34:39.000 That's the subhead.

00:34:40.000 Netflix's first blockbuster movie, the $90 million fantasy actioner Bright, is a steaming pile of orc shit, a nonsensical garbage pile featuring Ells, orcs, and a checked-out Will Smith.

00:34:50.000 Chicane X. What the hell is that?

00:34:52.000 Oh my God, he's being gender neutral on the word Chicano. 0.98

00:34:57.000 Oh no, yeah, that's free Latino. 1.00

00:34:59.000 What a pussy. 1.00

00:35:00.000 They're called Latinx.

00:35:01.000 I don't want to say Chicano.

00:35:02.000 I don't want to hurt anyone.

00:35:03.000 Chicane X, gangster stereotypes, worse than regrettable homies figurines. 0.99

00:35:08.000 A trademark of its director, David Iyer, and a slow-motion shootout set to Bastille that'll make you want to go full Sam Neil on the final third of Event Horizon.

00:35:16.000 Must be a video game.

00:35:18.000 That is rip your own eyes out and run around naked attacking people.

00:35:22.000 It's also, according to the testimonies of several industry people, on Twitter, written by an alleged sexual predator.

00:35:28.000 And then they just go on.

00:35:29.000 So he admits his beef, his bias there is that I didn't like Bright.

00:35:33.000 And Bright's a really good show.

00:35:34.000 They didn't like the show, the movie, because it featured some gangster stereotypes.

00:35:39.000 Ooh, yeah, there's no such thing as MS-13.

00:35:41.000 There isn't a disproportionate number of Latinx in south central Los Angeles.

00:35:48.000 Isn't to say that it's racist against Mexicans to show hoodlums?

00:35:53.000 It's like you're saying that all Mexicans are hoodlums.

00:35:56.000 It's like regular Mexicans don't like the gangsters either.

00:35:59.000 It's okay to say gangsters.

00:36:01.000 To be offended by that is to assume that it's normal.

00:36:05.000 You know, I want to take a timeout while we're making fun of total beta male losers like that Daily Beast guy because it reminded me of the Homeless Gavin video with that super awkward Asian dude. 0.99

00:36:16.000 Not you, but the guy who's the most awkward kid.

00:36:20.000 The levels of no testosterone we have in this country today are stultifying.

00:36:26.000 Check this out.

00:36:31.000 What would it be like if you were an adult male and you never had any sort of boobies in your life or ever kissed a girl?

00:36:39.000 What would happen is your heart would start gyrating in your chest and you go, oh, it's a horrible thing to happen to a man.

00:36:49.000 It's like the sperm in his body starts going into his bloodstream and it makes him gyrate where even the biggest dork loser, fake European dude with his mom's wig on becomes intimidating.

00:37:02.000 Even your friend who has an egghead and looks like a character from the Rugrats, even he is the fonts compared to you.

00:37:10.000 And you're just, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:37:13.000 This is really sad.

00:37:15.000 It's heartbreaking actually as a dude to watch.

00:37:18.000 You know, when I say interview, you know, I'm walking into everybody, you know, you just keep walking, you know?

00:37:24.000 Yeah, Dan.

00:37:25.000 Why you keep walking, man?

00:37:26.000 Why you keep walking?

00:37:27.000 I don't know.

00:37:28.000 I just walk.

00:37:30.000 What is wrong with you?

00:37:32.000 How harsh is that?

00:37:34.000 I don't know.

00:37:34.000 I just walk.

00:37:37.000 As a dude, as a member of the dude community, that just, it's like watching starving children in the third world.

00:37:45.000 But it sex. 0.81

00:37:47.000 I don't know, he's kind of, he's kind of, you know.

00:37:50.000 Everything's always wrong with me, you know, right?

00:37:54.000 I'm just walking around with the drink.

00:37:55.000 That's the cool guy in this equation.

00:37:57.000 What's your name, my friend?

00:37:58.000 Until everything okay, my friend?

00:38:01.000 Hmm.

00:38:02.000 I'm sure it's gonna be okay.

00:38:04.000 Just please.

00:38:05.000 Hmm.

00:38:06.000 I'm sure it's gonna be okay.

00:38:07.000 What does that mean?

00:38:09.000 Why are things going to be okay soon?

00:38:12.000 What is he talking about?

00:38:15.000 What's your name, my friend?

00:38:16.000 Until then?

00:38:18.000 Everything okay, my friend?

00:38:19.000 Hmm.

00:38:20.000 I'm sure it's gonna be okay.

00:38:22.000 Okay, you're not upset with me or anything?

00:38:24.000 Why would I be?

00:38:26.000 Okay, give me a kiss.

00:38:26.000 That was almost normal.

00:38:27.000 Oh, really?

00:38:30.000 Okay, nice to meet you, my friend.

00:38:32.000 Even this guy, that guy has no nerve endings in his face.

00:38:36.000 And he's the fonts of this deal.

00:38:38.000 Look, the way we deal with allergies is we give people a little bit of peanut dust and it builds up an immune system to peanuts.

00:38:45.000 The way you deal with these guys who have never been near a chick, look, even this chick is like, I don't understand what's happening here.

00:38:51.000 When you're around a guy like that, what you do is some woman will grow nipple hairs, take one of the nipple hairs out with tweezers, consensually, obviously, and then just put it on his leg and say, that's a nipple hair. 1.00

00:39:02.000 And he will slowly become acclimated to the female species.

00:39:08.000 Because this, this, we can't have this.

00:39:13.000 We got to keep on fighting for all the little birds and all the trees.

00:39:20.000 Yeah, pretty bad, huh?

00:39:22.000 We got some notes from yesterday's show.

00:39:24.000 We were talking yesterday about...

00:39:29.000 I guess it's too late now.

00:39:30.000 Let's get him on tomorrow's show.

00:39:32.000 All right.

00:39:34.000 I was saying that some jokes are acceptable and some aren't.

00:39:38.000 And you can laugh at white South African farmers being slaughtered, but you can't make a joke about Rosa Parks, for example.

00:39:45.000 And then someone sent me a great example from Britain where there was that old music guy.

00:39:51.000 That's the picture I sent separately.

00:39:56.000 He used to work for NME.

00:39:58.000 Yeah, there is Danny Baker.

00:39:59.000 He's like a major icon in Britain.

00:40:01.000 I don't know who to compare him to here because we don't really have radio culture like they do in Britain.

00:40:06.000 But he's like the Rush Limbaugh rock and roll.

00:40:09.000 No, but he's not conservative at all.

00:40:11.000 But he, there was a picture of a little chimpanzee dressed in a suit, and it was two people walking out of a fancy building holding its hands.

00:40:18.000 I think they were royalty, actually.

00:40:20.000 And so he said, oh, Prince Harry returns with the royal baby.

00:40:24.000 Now everyone got racial about it.

00:40:25.000 He didn't mean it to be racial.

00:40:27.000 His brain didn't go there.

00:40:28.000 It's just like the coolest monkey in the jungle, right?

00:40:31.000 And so they said, oh, you're calling the baby a monkey?

00:40:34.000 Meanwhile, Megan Markle, she couldn't look whiter.

00:40:38.000 Like if I bet there's times where she goes, no, really?

00:40:41.000 No, I know.

00:40:42.000 I am black.

00:40:43.000 Yeah.

00:40:44.000 No, one of my parents is black.

00:40:45.000 Yeah, I know.

00:40:46.000 I know.

00:40:46.000 Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.

00:40:48.000 I bet she has to do that. 1.00

00:40:49.000 There's the picture.

00:40:51.000 So, and then the baby of Prince Harry the Ginger and that very, very, very white-looking black woman is obviously not going to look remotely black. 0.83

00:40:58.000 So the idea that he meant, haha, look at this chimp is ridiculous. 1.00

00:41:03.000 So he was castigated for that.

00:41:06.000 I think he was fired.

00:41:07.000 He may have got his job back.

00:41:08.000 He may have been able to explain it, but it's the Roseanne Barr thing all over again where you're assuming the person meant to make a joke about an old chimp joke, which is like, when was the last time someone called a black person a chimp?

00:41:21.000 Like, that's 1940s shit.

00:41:23.000 The last time was when they accused him of meaning that in a racist way.

00:41:27.000 Yeah.

00:41:28.000 Like, go comb through the worst racists in the world and find me these guys going, look at that monkey Obama running up a tree eating bananas.

00:41:36.000 What?

00:41:37.000 Like, you'd say pardon?

00:41:40.000 But go back to that picture of the two.

00:41:42.000 So he was pilloried for making that mildly silly joke that's neither good nor bad.

00:41:47.000 Just, and I'm sure that's what he meant it as.

00:41:51.000 No, no, the picture of them, God, Stony Baloney.

00:41:54.000 And then the one next to her where she, so BBC, wait, Danny Baker fired from BBC for making that chimp joke. 0.99

00:42:02.000 And then Joe Brand, who made a joke where Tommy Robinson was hit with a vanilla milkshake.

00:42:09.000 He was milkshaked.

00:42:10.000 And she says, oh, I wish it was battery acid.

00:42:13.000 Wow.

00:42:14.000 And then the BBC defends her.

00:42:15.000 So it's okay to throw acid on Tommy Robinson.

00:42:19.000 That's a reasonable joke.

00:42:21.000 But you had better not accidentally make a conceivably racist joke.

00:42:28.000 That's dumb.

00:42:30.000 We also got notices from people who said, I was talking about how Norm McDonald is a perfect example of someone who just feels comfortable doing what he's doing.

00:42:40.000 This is the NBC link.

00:42:42.000 And they said, really?

00:42:44.000 Richard Jewell is doing a show.

00:42:49.000 You're not allowed in there?

00:42:50.000 I can't play that for some reason.

00:42:53.000 Hmm.

00:42:54.000 Okay.

00:42:54.000 It's ad black or I got this.

00:42:56.000 Okay.

00:42:57.000 Let's do it.

00:42:57.000 Richard Jewell was a guy at the Olympics.

00:42:59.000 He was a security guard, and there was a bomb.

00:43:01.000 I forget what Olympics it was, but there was a bomb that Olympic Park bombing, yeah.

00:43:08.000 And Richard Jewell, the security guard, was accused.

00:43:10.000 And the news, I think it was CNN, just proudly said, yeah, that was him.

00:43:14.000 You can go up to the previous link.

00:43:16.000 The fat guy from that Tanya Harding movie is going to play Richard Jewell.

00:43:20.000 But anyway, he didn't have anything to do with the bomb.

00:43:23.000 His name's not Muhammad.

00:43:24.000 That's the guy.

00:43:25.000 That's the actor who's going to be playing Richard Jewell.

00:43:28.000 And Richard Jewell, it was assumed he was a terrorist for, I think, years, like two years.

00:43:35.000 And then he sued CNN and he got a ton of money.

00:43:38.000 So he appeared on SNL with Norm McDonald.

00:43:40.000 And a viewer sent this in as an example of Norm McDonald not being cool.

00:43:45.000 Hmm.

00:43:47.000 So where's this?

00:43:51.000 The 1996 Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta may have claimed more than one victim.

00:43:56.000 Shortly after the incident, the FBI falsely accused Atlanta security guard Richard Jewell of the crime, then waited nearly a year to publicly clear his name.

00:44:06.000 Oh, sorry, one year.

00:44:06.000 With us tonight to discuss his ordeal is Richard Jewell.

00:44:10.000 Richard, thanks for coming on, Weekend Update.

00:44:13.000 I assume it's about to get very awkward.

00:44:15.000 That first part was Norm McDonald at its finest.

00:44:18.000 So if you were going to show me, I guess you can't timestamp these NBC clips, but if you're going to show me him being awkward, you should have started now.

00:44:25.000 Because that Norm McDonald was a man in his job doing exactly what he was supposed to do and not gesticulating or saying like as I gesticulate.

00:44:34.000 And say like, and say like.

00:44:36.000 Because he's in the right position.

00:44:37.000 Now, if this does get awkward, it's not an example of Norm not being cool.

00:44:42.000 It's an example of Saturday Night Live having the stupidest setup ever where you have to read cue cards.

00:44:50.000 It is so awkward.

00:44:51.000 And it's even more awkward when you have a guy who's super nervous and has never acted before.

00:44:57.000 Because that's actually the real Richard Jewell.

00:44:59.000 Oh.

00:45:00.000 My pleasure, Norm.

00:45:04.000 Now, Richard, in the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that as a result of Tom Broca's on-air statement that you were in fact the bomber, our network, NBC, was forced to pay you the undisclosed sum of money.

00:45:18.000 That's correct, Norm.

00:45:21.000 Now, Richard, I should point out that it is pretty unusual for Tom Brokaw to make a mistake.

00:45:26.000 I mean, nearly three-quarters of the time, like 60, 70% Of the time, his stories are accurate.

00:45:32.000 I understand that.

00:45:34.000 Yeah, but you're telling us, though, that this just happened to be one of those one in three or maybe one in 2.7 times that he got it wrong.

00:45:42.000 Well, I guess I just got to believe you.

00:45:44.000 I didn't do it, Norm.

00:45:45.000 I see.

00:45:46.000 So, in other words, okay, you're right.

00:45:48.000 Here you got Tom Grosser.

00:45:49.000 That is a hundred stories.

00:45:51.000 This is a non-actor on a show live in front of a studio audience, pooping his panties, and Norm McDonald having to follow everything to the letter.

00:46:00.000 Right, right.

00:46:01.000 Isn't it infuriating that Dr. Evil has the most successful comedy show of all time, and it sucks?

00:46:10.000 What's his name again?

00:46:12.000 Lauren Michaels.

00:46:13.000 Lauren Michaels.

00:46:14.000 Did you know this?

00:46:14.000 Here's a funny, fun fact.

00:46:16.000 David Spade is the guy who, or maybe it was Dana Carvey.

00:46:20.000 Dana Carvey made the impressions.

00:46:22.000 Yes, Dana Carvey is the one who came up with this.

00:46:24.000 Doctor Evil, Lauren Mike.

00:46:26.000 It's just an imitation of Lauren Michaels. 0.92

00:46:29.000 And what's his name?

00:46:32.000 Mike.

00:46:33.000 Myers?

00:46:33.000 Mike Myers goes, oh, that's funny.

00:46:35.000 I'm going to start doing that imitation.

00:46:37.000 And then he said it was Dr. Evil.

00:46:39.000 So Dr. Evil is actually Dana Carvey's imitation of Lauren Michaels.

00:46:47.000 Did you know that?

00:46:48.000 Is that common knowledge?

00:46:48.000 That'd be embarrassing if I had all these fun facts, this amazing trivia, and everyone knows them.

00:46:54.000 That's not super common, no.

00:46:55.000 Did you know that cockroaches will be the only thing left after a nuclear war?

00:47:00.000 And then not only is it outdated, it's like actually they changed that.

00:47:04.000 The science community updated that.

00:47:05.000 Did you know that life needs light to live?

00:47:09.000 Actually, that has been updated.

00:47:11.000 And they've discovered life deep inside rocks that have never been exposed to light at any time.

00:47:17.000 Oh, speaking of which, did you know that Bodhi McBoatface was launched?

00:47:22.000 They had an underwater sub, and they left it up to the public.

00:47:27.000 And nerds are humorless, and we're not allowed to wedgie them anymore. 1.00

00:47:31.000 So we said, yeah, okay, we have a name for your super duper sub. 0.99

00:47:35.000 It's called Bodhi McBoatface.

00:47:38.000 Look.

00:47:38.000 Are you serious?

00:47:39.000 Auto sub, long range's 27 debut outing provides new insight into causes of warming ocean abyss.

00:47:45.000 There's still, look, the National Oceanography Center is still super serious about it.

00:47:50.000 It says Bodhi McBoatface on the side.

00:47:54.000 Oh, nerds. 1.00

00:47:56.000 Auto sub long range, also known as Bodhi McBoatface.

00:47:59.000 Unfortunately, some of the jocks took our survey and changed it to Bodhi McBoatface.

00:48:06.000 So we're not happy about that.

00:48:07.000 Yeah, would it fall asleep at a frat party?

00:48:10.000 It's like it has a big penis drone on the side.

00:48:14.000 But yeah, nerds are boring, and the stuff they do is gay. 0.99

00:48:21.000 But look how boring this video is.

00:48:24.000 Play that.

00:48:25.000 That's Bodhi McBoat face on the way down as the depth goes.

00:48:30.000 I guess it did a lot of spinning as it went down.

00:48:33.000 Getting real dizzy, that robot?

00:48:35.000 After a cake stand?

00:48:36.000 Boring nerds.

00:48:40.000 However, then the thing that we give them money to do, come back with cool footage, happens, and we get to see awesome stuff like that, vampire?

00:48:53.000 Yeah, vampire squid.

00:48:54.000 Vampire squid.

00:48:55.000 Look at this thing.

00:48:58.000 This is before whatever they're called, anthropods, split and went to squids and octopuses.

00:49:05.000 No, it's not octopod.

00:49:06.000 That's Latin.

00:49:06.000 It's not?

00:49:07.000 Oh, okay.

00:49:09.000 This is back before Satan went to hell and he would just leave shrapnel in the water.

00:49:16.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

00:49:17.000 Yeah, dude.

00:49:18.000 That's crazy.

00:49:19.000 It's like that frilled shark.

00:49:22.000 Satan laughing makes a squid.

00:49:27.000 Wow, that's pretty good for someone on painkillers.

00:49:29.000 Look at that.

00:49:30.000 Cool and terrifying.

00:49:32.000 Wouldn't that be awesome if you were a billionaire and you just, as people walk in, there's this giant aquarium and you're always wearing white suits and you just go, hello, welcome.

00:49:42.000 And there's that vampire squid just going behind you.

00:49:46.000 And all your servants are albinos.

00:49:48.000 Oh my God.

00:49:49.000 That's one of your rules.

00:49:50.000 That's terrifying.

00:49:52.000 And they only work at night.

00:49:54.000 Yes.

00:49:55.000 For they will burn in the sun.

00:49:58.000 All right.

00:49:59.000 We're running out of time.

00:50:00.000 We're not going to have room for the mailbag.

00:50:02.000 I wanted to show this really weird part.

00:50:04.000 There is a strange altercation.

00:50:08.000 Oh, that's the frilled shark.

00:50:09.000 Yeah.

00:50:10.000 It's got these cool teeth that sort of pull back on themselves.

00:50:14.000 So if you get bit by one.

00:50:16.000 What is that?

00:50:16.000 Someone hanging out with one?

00:50:17.000 Yeah.

00:50:18.000 I thought they lived 9 million miles under the sea.

00:50:21.000 Those have not changed since God first made a shark.

00:50:24.000 Jeez.

00:50:25.000 Yeah, that's like really.

00:50:26.000 And as I've made clear on other shows, animals are fucking losers.

00:50:29.000 How much does that thing suck?

00:50:32.000 It's when God was half-assed.

00:50:34.000 Look at that dude.

00:50:35.000 I guess that's a shark.

00:50:36.000 Yeah.

00:50:37.000 No, no, no.

00:50:38.000 Hold on.

00:50:39.000 I'm going to make them way more like Jaws.

00:50:41.000 This is my first try.

00:50:42.000 It's like a shitty tadpole with spikes everywhere.

00:50:44.000 God was inspired by Jaws. 0.77

00:50:48.000 Whoa, that was an intense movie, man.

00:50:50.000 There should be a shark. 0.76

00:50:52.000 God's a hoser.

00:50:54.000 So anyway, speaking of hosers, we'll end with this video. 1.00

00:50:56.000 So Hamilton is a suburb outside of Toronto.

00:51:02.000 And I just think of it as it's a college town, but I just think of it as hosers and a great place to drink. 1.00

00:51:08.000 I haven't been there in a million years, but it's also very Berkeley because there's a big school there.

00:51:13.000 So there's all kinds of clashes with Antifa and the sort of Joey Gibson Patriot Prayer of Canada.

00:51:20.000 So there was a big rally to be gay, which is awesome.

00:51:25.000 And Antifa showed up with a giant black curtain to hide the Christian signs. 0.98

00:51:33.000 And just watching it, I'm just looking at both sides going, what does this accomplish?

00:51:38.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:51:40.000 So then they go around the curtain so they can say, repent, sinners.

00:51:44.000 Oh, and then look at this guy with the headband.

00:51:47.000 Turn it up for the 50th time.

00:51:51.000 Cowards!

00:51:54.000 He's so Game of Thrones.

00:51:58.000 Cowards.

00:52:01.000 Can you hear him?

00:52:03.000 Cowards.

00:52:09.000 I want to beat him for now.

00:52:12.000 Is that all we get at him?

00:52:13.000 I want more of him.

00:52:14.000 Go over there.

00:52:14.000 Yeah, here.

00:52:15.000 there You so Game of Thrones.

00:52:28.000 Yeah.

00:52:32.000 I feel sorry for you.

00:52:33.000 I actually feel bad for you.

00:52:34.000 Remember that old high school trick these girls would say about other girls? 1.00

00:52:38.000 I don't hate her.

00:52:39.000 I feel bad for her.

00:52:40.000 So that's like the pink Antifa prairie.

00:52:42.000 But I don't understand what they're doing here.

00:52:45.000 So those Christians are saying you're repent. 0.90

00:52:48.000 Being gay is a sin. 1.00

00:52:50.000 And then the gays are dancing around. 1.00

00:52:52.000 Can't you just not look at those signs?

00:52:54.000 Yeah.

00:52:54.000 No, keep watching.

00:52:55.000 It goes on and on and on.

00:53:01.000 Got you on camera.

00:53:06.000 Just fight.

00:53:07.000 Like, stop recording everything.

00:53:09.000 Just fight.

00:53:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:53:12.000 Am I old-fashioned?

00:53:13.000 And now, of course, they get the cops involved.

00:53:17.000 This is like elaborate foreplay to a fight.

00:53:21.000 It's nipple-licking, like we were talking about yesterday. 0.99

00:53:24.000 Nipple-licking.

00:53:25.000 That's nipple-licking. 1.00

00:53:25.000 Well, anyway, go up. 1.00

00:53:26.000 They're calling them Canadian Pan-Man.

00:53:27.000 Remember, Rufio Pan Man was that proud boy who knocked out the Antifa?

00:53:31.000 And I guess Hamilton Christians have their own Pan Man. 0.99

00:53:34.000 And it's the cigarette in the mouth.

00:53:37.000 If you're ever going to get in a fight, you cannot be cooler than having a cigarette in your mouth as you're pounding the guy.

00:53:44.000 It's the best possible look.

00:53:45.000 The best possible look is like someone attacks you, blah, blah, blah.

00:53:48.000 You knock them down, you got him by the jacket, and you're just putting the boots to him with your cigarette in your mouth.

00:53:53.000 It's the best possible look.

00:53:55.000 And it's a very Canadian thing.

00:53:56.000 They call it smoking a dart.

00:53:58.000 Hey, you got a dart?

00:53:59.000 And I think it's linked to hockey.

00:54:01.000 But Canadians are very polite.

00:54:03.000 They don't like confrontation.

00:54:04.000 Of course, there's boobs involved. 1.00

00:54:06.000 This country's going right down to shit.

00:54:09.000 No free speech in this country.

00:54:10.000 This country's going down to shit.

00:54:14.000 When you're so Canadian, you have an Italian accent.

00:54:16.000 This country's going down to shit.

00:54:19.000 There's no free speech in this country.

00:54:22.000 Fuck this shit, she says.

00:54:28.000 Look at, they always have the same attitudes on both sides.

00:54:32.000 I'm obviously on the Christian side of this one.

00:54:34.000 But no, go up to Canadian Pan Man. 0.78

00:54:36.000 It's a different link.

00:54:39.000 That was the free speech part.

00:54:41.000 It's right above it.

00:54:44.000 And it's a great way to end the show.

00:54:47.000 And it's endorsing violence.

00:54:49.000 I don't know.

00:54:49.000 No one's talking about stabbing.

00:54:52.000 Turn it up.

00:54:53.000 Hey, hey, watch it!

00:54:58.000 When you...

00:54:58.000 Dude!

00:55:00.000 Zoom out!

00:55:02.000 Every fucking time you do this!

00:55:04.000 You just ruined this awesome moment.

00:55:06.000 That is as zoomed out as it is.

00:55:07.000 No, it's not!

00:55:08.000 Look, look, look.

00:55:10.000 Look.

00:55:12.000 That's border.

00:55:14.000 I promise you.

00:55:15.000 Okay, sorry, I lost my temper.

00:55:17.000 Go back to the beginning now.

00:55:18.000 This is like Father's Day.

00:55:20.000 Stop.

00:55:21.000 My wife took me to a place that has hand-cut fries.

00:55:23.000 I didn't eat all day because I wanted to really pig out.

00:55:26.000 And so I'm finally excited.

00:55:27.000 I get the fish and chips, sit down.

00:55:28.000 It's at the Brazen Fox.

00:55:30.000 I'm happy to expose them.

00:55:31.000 They put the plate down.

00:55:33.000 These aren't frozen fries.

00:55:35.000 They lied to her on the phone.

00:55:37.000 They are frozen fries.

00:55:38.000 Yeah.

00:55:39.000 They're hand-cut fries.

00:55:41.000 I don't want to do air quotes, but it's a style of frozen fry.

00:55:44.000 It's the hand-cut style.

00:55:46.000 So yeah, the frozen bag says hand-cut because that's what they're meant to imitate.

00:55:53.000 Anyway, that's why I'm a little on edge, and I'm sorry to scream at you.

00:55:56.000 It's okay.

00:55:56.000 Japanese man.

00:55:57.000 Oh, hey.

00:56:09.000 And look at this deke.

00:56:12.000 Get out of my fucking way, guy.

00:56:14.000 And then look at the Antifa.

00:56:16.000 They've never been hit in the face before.

00:56:18.000 Look, they're touching their faces.

00:56:20.000 What the hell was that?

00:56:22.000 I think I got stunned.

00:56:24.000 Go back to when they feel their noses.

00:56:28.000 A helmet doesn't hurt that much.

00:56:30.000 That's not a steel helmet.

00:56:31.000 That's just like a whatever helmet.

00:56:32.000 It's actually bending in the wind.

00:56:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:56:34.000 But this is on it.

00:56:35.000 Look at them.

00:56:36.000 This is the first punch.

00:56:37.000 They're so stunned.

00:56:39.000 It's like Mike Tyson says, everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face.

00:56:43.000 That's why, I don't want to sound like I'm endorsing bounce, especially when all my friends are on trial, but can't say enough about a good punch in the face.

00:56:50.000 And, you know, you can just sort of, you know, this gay face? 0.95

00:56:53.000 Well, there's never been punched in the face face.

00:56:56.000 And when you talk to those guys, you can just tell when someone has a snarky attitude around you, you're like, yeah, I can tell.

00:57:02.000 You're one of them.

00:57:03.000 You're one of the never punched in the face.

00:57:05.000 You need to get punched in the face.

00:57:06.000 You need to experience.

00:57:11.000 Acrimony.

00:57:12.000 Oh.

00:57:12.000 You need to experience suffering.

00:57:14.000 You need to unleash the savage gene.

00:57:16.000 It's a gene that only comes out when you're in trouble.

00:57:19.000 And I think it's very healthy to suffer.

00:57:22.000 I think acrimony is good for us.

00:57:24.000 And to be constantly scared of getting in trouble, getting fired is no way to live.

00:57:31.000 You have to embrace your fears.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 18, 2019

S02E24 - MOVIE MAGIC

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Summary

Transcript