Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 08, 2019


GOML LIVE #20 | ATTACKED BY WATER


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour

Words per minute

165.12424

Word count

9,968

Sentence count

1,116

Harmful content

Misogyny

51

sentences flagged

Hate speech

47

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this week's episode of Get Off My Rod, the boys talk about a fake Louis Vuitton bag, Roger Stone being sentenced to the death penalty, and a story about a guy who thinks his bag is fake.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
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00:01:23.000 Gavin.
00:01:37.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Rod with Gavin McInnes.
00:01:59.000 Fake Louis Vuitton bag, but real Gucci sneakers.
00:02:09.000 Look at these puppies.
00:02:12.000 I just realized I have $1,000 shoes.
00:02:17.000 I have Milo's.
00:02:18.000 What do you mean you have Miles?
00:02:19.000 I have Milo's Louis Vuitton Air Jordan 1 looking things.
00:02:22.000 Because I had to...
00:02:22.000 Why?
00:02:28.000 He paid you $25 to pack his bags.
00:02:30.000 Yep.
00:02:31.000 The big bucks.
00:02:33.000 And why do you have his shoes?
00:02:36.000 Well, I forgot to give them to him, but that's okay because tomorrow pull them out.
00:02:41.000 Milu and I. Let's see.
00:02:43.000 All right, let me grab them.
00:02:45.000 I have them in the little Fourier area.
00:02:48.000 We have some terrible news, folks.
00:02:51.000 Roger Stone has been sentenced to the death penalty.
00:02:55.000 What the fuck?
00:02:57.000 No, we have some terrible news.
00:02:59.000 We shot a show in DC.
00:03:01.000 We just got back from D.C. right now.
00:03:03.000 And the audio is unusable.
00:03:07.000 Put your Louis Vuitton bag up next to mine.
00:03:07.000 It's terrible.
00:03:11.000 I love that song.
00:03:12.000 Thank you.
00:03:19.000 So your Japanese dad told you that your bag is fake.
00:03:24.000 Okay.
00:03:26.000 What are these now?
00:03:29.000 These are fancy.
00:03:32.000 I like these.
00:03:34.000 Not as much as my Gucci's, but I like them.
00:03:36.000 Yeah, like a...
00:03:38.000 Why would you put his shoes in your bag?
00:03:42.000 There was just no room, and I didn't want to squish him in the briefcase, in his suitcase.
00:03:45.000 Part of the deal with the $25 was to pack his bag.
00:03:50.000 Now he gets his stuff back?
00:03:53.000 Not to spread his stuff around various people's luggage.
00:03:57.000 The thing is, he received some gifts while he was there.
00:04:01.000 A fan tracked him down and gave him a big old box of stuff.
00:04:04.000 So he wound up leaving with more stuff that he came there with.
00:04:07.000 So there was less room in there.
00:04:10.000 Yeah, that's what $25 was for, Ryan.
00:04:12.000 This is why I'm mad at you for the audio not working.
00:04:16.000 You're paid to do a job.
00:04:18.000 That's a good point.
00:04:19.000 I mean, I improvised.
00:04:22.000 Did you improvise the show with Milo by having shitty sound?
00:04:27.000 Well, Milo's audio was good.
00:04:29.000 But your mic, something...
00:04:39.000 Well, I did learn a lot from the first two episodes, and I corrected a lot of mistakes, but this third one was quite bad.
00:04:39.000 Right.
00:04:47.000 You day drank?
00:04:48.000 Yeah, I didn't want to.
00:04:49.000 You pressured me into doing that.
00:04:50.000 You should day drink.
00:04:52.000 A man should be able to have a couple beers at lunch.
00:04:56.000 But I cannot.
00:04:56.000 You saw my face.
00:04:57.000 Remember?
00:04:58.000 Yeah, that's not right.
00:04:59.000 Yeah, I'm Japanese.
00:05:01.000 Fix it.
00:05:02.000 I don't think that I could be fixed.
00:05:04.000 Speaking of Japanese, your dad told you that your bag is fake.
00:05:08.000 Look at this.
00:05:09.000 You see the way this is cracking here?
00:05:13.000 This is a fake bag.
00:05:14.000 This cost me $40 on the streets of New York.
00:05:17.000 You can feel the leather.
00:05:19.000 It's thin.
00:05:20.000 This is a $40 bag.
00:05:22.000 Your dad told you this was...
00:05:26.000 His exact words were, I was like, wow, dad, thank you so much.
00:05:30.000 You know, I appreciate this gift.
00:05:31.000 And he said, don't worry about it.
00:05:33.000 It's fake.
00:05:35.000 He did that.
00:05:36.000 What did he say about your mom?
00:05:38.000 Oh, he said, your mother, not very smart. 0.99
00:05:41.000 She has no brain, but all heart. 0.82
00:05:44.000 She's a very, very sweet person.
00:05:48.000 I think your dad was lying.
00:05:50.000 I think he thinks so little of you that he was worried you would sell this.
00:05:55.000 Because this is like high-quality leather.
00:05:58.000 This is a real Louis Vuitton bag.
00:06:00.000 You know, Milo did say that, too.
00:06:02.000 Oh, really?
00:06:03.000 Yeah, he was like, no, that looks real.
00:06:05.000 He's a snob about that kind of stuff.
00:06:06.000 You can tell mine's fake by the way it deteriorates.
00:06:10.000 But he also said there's very convincing ones.
00:06:13.000 So.
00:06:14.000 Well, when it gets to the point where they're very convincing, you got to do it.
00:06:17.000 Then might as well, yeah.
00:06:18.000 What are we doing here?
00:06:23.000 So yeah, we have a terrible show for you today that involves Miles and I at a hotel.
00:06:29.000 We went to a pub Called the Alibi next to the courthouse, where we were investigating Roger Stone, sitting there through the pedantic trial, watching them go over the timeline.
00:06:42.000 Is that on the timeline, Michelle Taylor?
00:06:43.000 Michelle Taylor is this FBI agent who retired 14 years into her career, never heard of that before, became a consultant, and she's here to tell you all about Roger Stone.
00:06:56.000 Asian women seem to be really biased against him. 1.00
00:07:01.000 The head of the investigation was this woman, Rhee, R-H-E-E, who ran the FBI investigation. 0.98
00:07:08.000 This is Hillary Clinton's personal attorney.
00:07:11.000 The reason Roger Stone is in court this week, the next two weeks, is he blasphemed the Clintons, and we live in a monarchy, and you don't say shitty things about the queen.
00:07:24.000 He's the sex pistols.
00:07:25.000 They did God save the queen, and he's being persecuted for that.
00:07:31.000 And Asian women seem to be a large part of the war against him. 1.00
00:07:38.000 So today in the trial, it was just more of him saying that he wants Hillary's emails to be leaked, and then Hillary's emails being leaked right after.
00:07:51.000 Okay.
00:07:52.000 Like, I'm fine.
00:07:54.000 If I was the judge, I would say, I don't need to hear the defense.
00:07:58.000 I'll take the prosecution's case at face value.
00:08:02.000 Yes.
00:08:03.000 Guilty.
00:08:04.000 Guilty is charged.
00:08:07.000 $1,200 fine.
00:08:10.000 Smash the gavel.
00:08:12.000 Done.
00:08:13.000 Anyway, we were discussing this.
00:08:14.000 We're trying to live stream at Alibi, and an internet whore who sells her pictures online, nude pictures of herself, a piece of human garbage, poured water on us. 1.00
00:08:27.000 This is a clip of it.
00:08:29.000 If you're wondering why we look like wet cats, it's because we are cats, and we are wet.
00:08:35.000 Somebody just ran past her.
00:08:36.000 Fuck you! 0.99
00:08:38.000 A grumpy feminist just poured drinks on us. 1.00
00:08:40.000 We managed to get her back.
00:08:42.000 She's still yelling at us. 0.99
00:08:44.000 She was still going.
00:08:47.000 Do you actually quite like my hair like this?
00:08:49.000 I think I look kind of fresh and youthful.
00:08:50.000 But you've got a little moisture.
00:08:51.000 there for about 20 minutes they were listening to us no it was like they were there they had they were there for the full half an hour.
00:08:57.000 And then as they walked out, She said, you should be ashamed of yourself.
00:09:02.000 And then she screamed, kill yourself. 0.97
00:09:03.000 Kill yourself.
00:09:05.000 That hurt.
00:09:06.000 I'm not going to comply.
00:09:07.000 You know what's great about suits, though?
00:09:08.000 I'm not going to comply.
00:09:10.000 I just got that.
00:09:11.000 It's tropical lightweight wool, but it's.
00:09:13.000 The water dry.
00:09:15.000 It's moisture-wicky.
00:09:18.000 Now, if I was wearing a woolly sweater, I'd actually be upset.
00:09:22.000 But I think I look moist and musical.
00:09:26.000 Moist and musical.
00:09:27.000 Great band.
00:09:28.000 At the end of it, you could hear the woman saying, is everything all right? 0.99
00:09:31.000 You want me to make a report?
00:09:32.000 You want to call the police?
00:09:33.000 They bought us a bunch of booze.
00:09:34.000 A lot of booze.
00:09:35.000 Which, with your red cheeks, was not helping things.
00:09:38.000 Yes, which is why today's show sucks, because I got an Asian drunk. 1.00
00:09:42.000 That's a good point.
00:09:43.000 I take full responsibility.
00:09:44.000 I do apologize.
00:09:45.000 I wish there was some way that I could monitor the audio, and in the future, I will learn from that.
00:09:49.000 Frankly.
00:09:49.000 Okay.
00:09:50.000 I had to learn a lot of things.
00:09:52.000 No, we need a totally different audio system.
00:09:54.000 This stupid recording into your phone shit does not work.
00:09:57.000 We need Zooms. 0.96
00:09:58.000 We need labs.
00:09:59.000 We might need two Zooms. 0.96
00:10:00.000 Two Zooms.
00:10:01.000 What?
00:10:02.000 Why can't you have one Zoom with two labs plugged into it?
00:10:05.000 For instance, yesterday's episode or Wednesday's episode was really, I thought it was really good.
00:10:10.000 Interviews were great.
00:10:11.000 A lot of stuff happening there.
00:10:13.000 We throw away these little clips in between.
00:10:16.000 So that interview wouldn't have been able to have happened that way.
00:10:19.000 You would have had wires connecting to this one Zoom in the middle of you, either on a small table.
00:10:24.000 Yeah, it would have worked fine.
00:10:25.000 What are you talking about?
00:10:26.000 We were all two feet from each other.
00:10:29.000 All those interviews.
00:10:30.000 So one of you would have a, think about it, a wire running from you to another person's pocket or something.
00:10:35.000 Correct.
00:10:36.000 Okay.
00:10:37.000 If that's not unnecessary.
00:10:38.000 If the finger's on the ground, whatever.
00:10:39.000 It wouldn't reach the ground.
00:10:41.000 It wouldn't reach the ground.
00:10:42.000 I'm trying to get a little bit of a turn.
00:10:42.000 That's the thing.
00:10:42.000 I got a finger in my pocket.
00:10:44.000 At least we got audio.
00:10:45.000 All that matters in anything is audio.
00:10:48.000 Video is irrelevant.
00:10:48.000 That's true.
00:10:50.000 Well, yeah, yeah.
00:10:54.000 We're preparing you for a terrible show, folks.
00:10:56.000 You want to do the live reads now or do you want to let the Milo ones happen?
00:11:00.000 Anyway, that woman poured water on us, and then I'm sitting there with a giant Guinness in my hand.
00:11:07.000 You know that's going on you, right?
00:11:10.000 Not a thoughtful person.
00:11:11.000 That's how it works.
00:11:12.000 I don't know if you ever had a sibling before, but if someone gives you a Charlie horse, you give them a Charlie horse.
00:11:18.000 So I drenched her in Guinness, covered her in brown ale.
00:11:23.000 I wish I saw it.
00:11:24.000 I was in the bathroom.
00:11:25.000 She got really mad and she just started screaming, fuck you! 0.94
00:11:30.000 Fucking kill yourself.
00:11:33.000 Which I saw Will Sommer at the courthouse and I said, hey, Will, how's fighting hate going?
00:11:40.000 And he goes, unfortunately, there's a lot.
00:11:42.000 There's a lot of it.
00:11:45.000 And I walked over to him and I said, I just find it strange that your job is fighting hate, right?
00:11:53.000 But you've chosen like white nationalism, which is a very esoteric group of people.
00:12:01.000 In fact, Milo got served a subpoena because he has that Richard Spencer footage.
00:12:08.000 And on it, they had a list.
00:12:11.000 On his subpoena, they had a list of everyone they were suing for Charlottesville.
00:12:19.000 And I'm looking at this list, and I'm thinking, yeah, that's pretty much every racist in America.
00:12:28.000 I'll hold it up.
00:12:28.000 You want to keep talking?
00:12:30.000 Ew, I just said hold.
00:12:35.000 There you go.
00:12:36.000 Jason Kessler, Richard Spencer, Christopher Kid.
00:12:40.000 Well, I'm looking at this list and I'm going, yeah, that's pretty much all of them.
00:12:44.000 So imagine devoting your life, as Will Summer and Christopher Matthias and Andy Campbell and Charitable.
00:12:51.000 They're devoted to catching these 13 bad guys.
00:12:56.000 And I said, why wouldn't you focus on Islamic hate or the black Hebrew Israelites or a different group that has hate? 0.56
00:13:04.000 And he goes, well, everyone has their beat.
00:13:07.000 Now, I didn't say this.
00:13:08.000 I thought of this later.
00:13:10.000 But I should have said, What about the Aryan Brotherhood? 0.80
00:13:15.000 Like, what about these bona fide white power gangs that run prisons?
00:13:21.000 If you're so concerned, if this is such a scourge, then why are you not focused on them?
00:13:29.000 Anyway, he said, we all have our beats, you know.
00:13:32.000 I go, okay, so you've chosen this esoteric sliver beat.
00:13:37.000 And I said, it's not about that.
00:13:40.000 Well, it's because you're a fucking pussy. 1.00
00:13:45.000 And he ran away.
00:13:47.000 He said, all right, Gavin.
00:13:49.000 And he stormed away with his, he's kind of like duck-footed.
00:13:52.000 He's waddly.
00:13:53.000 He waddles away with his little brown cords.
00:13:56.000 He's a diminutive little man.
00:13:58.000 And we know what this is really about, ultimately.
00:14:00.000 All these guys fighting Nazis don't really care about hate.
00:14:05.000 They care about masculinity and they resent masculinity.
00:14:10.000 So they purport to be about preventing fascism.
00:14:15.000 But to them, fascism is the guy who wedgied them in high school.
00:14:20.000 They're not really about fighting hate at all.
00:14:23.000 It just sounds good.
00:14:24.000 And it might get them a little tiny bit of pussy. 1.00
00:14:27.000 It might get these pussies some pussy. 1.00
00:14:30.000 These lesbians some scissoring. 1.00
00:14:33.000 But obviously, if they were concerned about hate, they would investigate Islam. 0.98
00:14:39.000 They'd investigate bona fide white power groups.
00:14:41.000 They don't.
00:14:42.000 They find someone who said the N-word when they were drunk 10 years ago.
00:14:47.000 Why do they do that?
00:14:48.000 Because they want to ruin lives.
00:14:49.000 They want to get people fired.
00:14:50.000 Why do they want to get people fired?
00:14:52.000 They're vindictive cunts.
00:14:54.000 Not unlike the judge in Roger Stone's trial.
00:14:57.000 She's a vindictive cunt. 1.00
00:14:59.000 She subpoenaed Jacob Engels, who we saw today.
00:15:01.000 Oh, Jacob Engels.
00:15:02.000 Yeah, we were with him outside today.
00:15:04.000 He's banned from the courtroom.
00:15:06.000 As of last night, or, you know, the night before.
00:15:08.000 Because he pointed out that one of the jurors they got has a husband in the DOJ.
00:15:14.000 Mrs. Kangaroo, Mrs. Star Chamber, is allowing to be jurors.
00:15:20.000 She is allowing an Obama-era White House communications director to be a juror whose husband works in the deep state intelligence community.
00:15:32.000 Everyone needs to be there.
00:15:33.000 Everyone go support Roger because this is bigger than Roger Stone now.
00:15:35.000 They are literally railroading him.
00:15:38.000 I've never.
00:15:40.000 And it's confirmed that it's the former Obama communications director will lead the jury.
00:15:44.000 She'll probably make her the foreman. 1.00
00:15:51.000 And then the two Republicans, I don't think there's enough spotlight on the fact that only two Republicans got nixed from the thing.
00:15:58.000 And one of them was like an old lady. 1.00
00:16:00.000 And so the judge's defense with that allegation and why she banned Jacob, who we just saw, who was wearing sunglasses, I think because he has a wandering eye.
00:16:11.000 If I had a wandering eye, I would wear an eye patch.
00:16:15.000 And a mohawk.
00:16:16.000 The sunglasses, you called his hair a mohawk.
00:16:18.000 That was infuriating.
00:16:19.000 I know.
00:16:22.000 How is that a mohawk?
00:16:24.000 How do you not know what a mohawk is?
00:16:26.000 I don't know.
00:16:27.000 Anyway, her contention is, hey, Jacob, you're banned from the courtroom.
00:16:33.000 I didn't allow that juror.
00:16:36.000 Yeah, I know you didn't allow that juror because we all freaked out and wouldn't shut up about it.
00:16:40.000 This is why we need free speech.
00:16:42.000 This is why we have to keep talking because judges go any way the wind blows.
00:16:48.000 All they care about is their reputation.
00:16:50.000 They don't care about justice.
00:16:53.000 They don't care about getting the bad guy and putting him in prison.
00:16:56.000 They care about their career, their reputation.
00:16:58.000 The reason that, what's his name, Mark Dwyer, put John of Max in prison for four years was to kiss Cuomo's ass.
00:17:07.000 And that will help his career.
00:17:09.000 That was a good move for him.
00:17:11.000 That bullshit he said about how this reminds me of 1930s Europe.
00:17:15.000 Perfect.
00:17:16.000 That's good for your career.
00:17:16.000 Great.
00:17:18.000 It's bad for justice.
00:17:19.000 You put two men in prison that didn't deserve to be there, but it's good for your career.
00:17:23.000 And this judge needs to be exposed.
00:17:28.000 You need to talk about her.
00:17:29.000 You need to talk about Roger Stone.
00:17:31.000 So when she comes up with the verdict, she will have to weigh her reputation because that's all she cares about.
00:17:39.000 And the Clintons are pushing her hard to incriminate, to imprison this man.
00:17:45.000 So we need to be on the other side.
00:17:47.000 So if you do, you fucking bitch, we will expose you just like we exposed that juror you got whose husband worked in the DOJ and was a fucking Obama administration chief. 1.00
00:18:02.000 When I say chief, I mean douchebag.
00:18:05.000 So how did they find that out?
00:18:07.000 Because that happened just the night before.
00:18:09.000 Overnight, they found out that he was on InfoWars and said that.
00:18:12.000 So who's I'm surprised?
00:18:15.000 Is it the judge watching it or are they having a touch?
00:18:17.000 No, it can't be the judge.
00:18:18.000 It's Tattletales.
00:18:19.000 Journalists have become Tattletales.
00:18:21.000 Remember when Ezra Levant was in Britain with Tommy Robinson?
00:18:25.000 Oh, yeah.
00:18:26.000 And Tommy went by near a window, and the people in the street saw him, and they all started cheering.
00:18:31.000 500 people were cheering.
00:18:32.000 I was there.
00:18:34.000 And Ezra filmed it.
00:18:36.000 And then all the journalists said, that's contempt of court.
00:18:39.000 He's got his phone out in the old bill, in the old Bailey.
00:18:44.000 That's illegal.
00:18:45.000 You can't do that.
00:18:46.000 So The Guardian and the BBC were complaining that Ezra Levant cheated.
00:18:53.000 They're tattletales.
00:18:54.000 They're activists.
00:18:56.000 They're hall monitors.
00:18:58.000 That's what journalists are today.
00:18:59.000 Hall monitors.
00:19:01.000 Cunts, bitches. 1.00
00:19:02.000 Horrible pieces of shit.
00:19:04.000 Losers.
00:19:05.000 And so are judges and so are prosecutors.
00:19:07.000 The prosecutor in Roger Stone's trial is a HuffPo blogger.
00:19:12.000 And I noticed Huffington Post, while reporting on this trial, neglected to mention that.
00:19:18.000 Anyway, what a shit show. 0.69
00:19:19.000 I'm just watching it going.
00:19:21.000 So what's going on here?
00:19:22.000 He wanted Julian Assange to release Hillary's emails.
00:19:25.000 So did I. Should I go to jail?
00:19:27.000 Isn't it kind of like the majority of the people?
00:19:28.000 They're hypnotizing People into thinking that it's about this instead of what it's actually about.
00:19:34.000 It's like droning hypnosis.
00:19:34.000 Yeah.
00:19:36.000 I was sitting there.
00:19:37.000 We were talking about that earlier.
00:19:38.000 It's like Ryan was accused of rape, and we want to make it clear that rape is bad.
00:19:45.000 And then you have a bunch of PowerPoints about rape and how horrible it is.
00:19:49.000 And you show that, you know, 3,000 women get raped a day or something like that.
00:19:53.000 And then you have a picture of a woman who's just been raped.
00:19:56.000 Now, you haven't proved that Ryan's a rapist, but you've been talking about Ryan and rape for the past hour, and it's just getting in the jury's heads.
00:20:04.000 That's what was going on today.
00:20:06.000 Michelle Taylor, this retired FBI agent, just going over the fact that he has appeared on shows.
00:20:13.000 I don't want to talk about it anymore.
00:20:15.000 I think we've covered it.
00:20:16.000 Did Jacob English get punched in the face today?
00:20:18.000 Where did you find that?
00:20:19.000 Oh, yeah, I just heard about that.
00:20:21.000 I'm trying to look for it, but I can't find it.
00:20:23.000 By the way, somebody says, we were at the alibi today with you.
00:20:26.000 I think Schlane Irish Whiskey was your favorite.
00:20:29.000 Was that a normal day for you guys?
00:20:30.000 Whiskey, then weirdness?
00:20:32.000 That's weird.
00:20:33.000 Was that the bartender?
00:20:34.000 People are out there.
00:20:35.000 That must be the bartender.
00:20:36.000 I don't know, but they were fans.
00:20:37.000 They came up to be like, hey, big fan, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:39.000 And unfortunately, they did pick Milo over you.
00:20:45.000 That hurts.
00:20:46.000 Oh, there was a black bartender who after we got drenched, he said, you know, this is actually kind of good because I'm a big fan of you, Milo, and I wouldn't have been able to talk to you if we didn't have this segue.
00:21:00.000 They're very pro.
00:21:01.000 They're pro, though.
00:21:02.000 They're very nice.
00:21:02.000 I gotta say, suits seem to be designed for drenchings.
00:21:06.000 Oh, yeah.
00:21:07.000 Because it was water and we had some cloth.
00:21:11.000 We went like that.
00:21:12.000 I was fine in 30 seconds.
00:21:14.000 Literally, you went, yeah, on the tape, it was literally like about 15 minutes after this happened and you're dry.
00:21:20.000 My cotton shirt absorbed some.
00:21:22.000 God bless your cotton shirt.
00:21:23.000 This just choop, choop, choop, you're done.
00:21:26.000 Milo's been hitting me with water this entire vacation.
00:21:29.000 I said.
00:21:30.000 Vacation.
00:21:31.000 Wow.
00:21:32.000 That explains a lot.
00:21:35.000 That explains a lot.
00:21:36.000 Anything that's away from home is a vacation.
00:21:38.000 Like, in the Bronx, you go to Seatown, that's a vacation.
00:21:41.000 That's a lie.
00:21:41.000 Okay.
00:21:42.000 I just made that up.
00:21:43.000 But he would, yeah, drench me with water.
00:21:45.000 And then I was really upset because this is my only dress shirt.
00:21:47.000 And it did dry in 20 seconds.
00:21:50.000 I only brought one pair of underwear that entire four days.
00:21:52.000 What happened to him?
00:21:53.000 I peeked them.
00:21:55.000 And so I couldn't wear them again.
00:21:58.000 Wearing, you know, even if you dry the pee, you have, it smells like pee.
00:22:02.000 Can we be transparent about the hotel situation?
00:22:06.000 Okay, because last night I was working on the episode until super late.
00:22:06.000 Sure.
00:22:11.000 I had the option.
00:22:12.000 I fell asleep waiting for it to export.
00:22:15.000 And then I wake up knowing that maybe you might be kind of a there might be a chance that your bed's wet for whatever reason.
00:22:23.000 Whether or not you want to go into that, I'm not ashamed.
00:22:27.000 I have nothing to hide.
00:22:28.000 I wet the bed Tuesday night and last night.
00:22:33.000 Okay.
00:22:34.000 And you couldn't crawl into bed with me.
00:22:36.000 I'm so cheap that I made all three of us stay in one hotel room.
00:22:40.000 For one night.
00:22:41.000 For one night.
00:22:42.000 To be fair.
00:22:43.000 And, well, they also were sold out.
00:22:46.000 And I was sober enough to organize my clothes and make sure that my suit was hung up.
00:22:51.000 Then I went to bed nude and pissed the bed.
00:22:54.000 Right.
00:22:54.000 So you're just sleeping in a toilet, basically.
00:22:57.000 Yeah.
00:22:58.000 It seems freeing.
00:23:00.000 You know, the hotels, they have to factor this in.
00:23:04.000 They have a sheet that goes above the mattress that is a non-permeable membrane.
00:23:12.000 And they have to have the alcoholic caveat.
00:23:17.000 And they did.
00:23:18.000 So poor Ryan was in a situation where it was either sleep in bed with a gay man or sleep in bed with a P-man. 1.00
00:23:29.000 G-Man the P-Man. 0.96
00:23:31.000 Yeah.
00:23:31.000 It was either.
00:23:32.000 I picked the gay man.
00:23:33.000 Dicks or what Dicks produced. 1.00
00:23:34.000 So you just snuggled right in with Milo.
00:23:36.000 Yeah, it wasn't that snuggling, though.
00:23:38.000 He's a married man.
00:23:39.000 I would never.
00:23:40.000 That's why you don't fuck Milo because he's married.
00:23:43.000 Yeah.
00:23:43.000 Otherwise, just.
00:23:44.000 We have our sponsors, Bet DSI and JohnnyCBD.com.
00:23:49.000 But we have Milo reading those out, right?
00:23:51.000 We do, yes.
00:23:52.000 Now, I believe betdsi.com has upped their bonus to 125%.
00:23:59.000 I'm not 1,000% positive on that.
00:24:02.000 That's ironic because I don't like anything over 100%.
00:24:06.000 But I think that if you put down $25, they will guarantee that and another 25% more if you use the promo code Gavin.
00:24:17.000 That is at betdsi.com.
00:24:20.000 You can bet on NAACPs, celebrities, reality shows, all sports, 100% of sports.
00:24:30.000 And johnnycbd.com, also with the promo code GAVIN.
00:24:35.000 This is johnny as in j-o-h-n-n-y-c-b-d.com.
00:24:40.000 You're familiar with CBD.
00:24:41.000 It's like pot without the pot.
00:24:43.000 And you take these gummies and these tinctures and these different things.
00:24:48.000 They're really good.
00:24:48.000 They take the edge off of everything.
00:24:50.000 Take the edge off of life.
00:24:51.000 And it's great for when you're swollen after working out.
00:24:56.000 A great anti-inflammatories.
00:24:58.000 Everyone at my gym uses CBD.
00:25:01.000 So you can bet on the NAACP?
00:25:04.000 Is that what I said?
00:25:05.000 You did.
00:25:07.000 It's been a long day.
00:25:08.000 That's not what I meant.
00:25:09.000 I know.
00:25:11.000 We got to go home.
00:25:11.000 It's been a long day.
00:25:12.000 But now I have to know what's going on.
00:25:13.000 And also, the last train is not too far from here, so we should probably wrap it up.
00:25:21.000 We're in an empty building with no doorman.
00:25:25.000 If you want to kill us, now is a good time.
00:25:28.000 It's always a little creepy.
00:25:29.000 If you want to pour water on us, this is a good time.
00:25:32.000 God, she was so mad.
00:25:35.000 Fuck you.
00:25:36.000 Yeah.
00:25:36.000 Fucking kill yourself.
00:25:38.000 I have the tweet.
00:25:39.000 In this episode, what you will find, though, is what's it called?
00:25:44.000 Your reaction to that, you know, which we just showed.
00:25:47.000 Actually, that kind of spoils it.
00:25:48.000 But you also see her tweets and all this stuff because she deleted everything because she's a little scared about it.
00:25:54.000 It's weird that, like, say Mil and I are Satan, evil, horrible human beings who are committing, you know, racism every day.
00:26:04.000 Aren't you scared of us?
00:26:06.000 Like, if I was near, if I was having lunch next to El Chapo, I'd be pooping my pants.
00:26:13.000 I would say, Nana, run!
00:26:15.000 I would pour a drink on El Chapo.
00:26:15.000 And then I would throw the thing.
00:26:17.000 You know what I mean?
00:26:18.000 So the fact that she's pouring water on us concedes that we're not a genuine threat.
00:26:23.000 With her granny. 0.99
00:26:24.000 What if I punched you in the face?
00:26:25.000 Like, what if I grabbed your granny? 0.99
00:26:28.000 I grabbed your granny. 1.00
00:26:29.000 What if I choked out your granny? 1.00
00:26:34.000 That's why they never talk about the Aryan Brotherhood and genuine bad guys is because they don't have the courage. 1.00
00:26:39.000 So they choose these made-up bad guys.
00:26:42.000 Anyway, yeah, let's go to Miles and I at the hotel and be prepared for some of the worst audio in the history of FreeSpeech.tv.
00:26:49.000 It's absolutely fucking terrible.
00:26:51.000 You're going to hate it.
00:26:52.000 It's a total waste of time.
00:26:54.000 And I apologize.
00:26:55.000 I'm sorry, too.
00:26:56.000 I apologize for Ryan.
00:26:58.000 It's my fault.
00:27:00.000 I got an Asian drunk.
00:27:01.000 It doesn't go well.
00:27:03.000 And I almost got fired, and I did get in trouble, and I was brave, and I didn't stop fighting.
00:27:08.000 I was brave.
00:27:17.000 Hello, I'm TV's Miley Anopoulos.
00:27:19.000 And I'm here to tell you about Johnny Apple CBD, a company I've only just heard of, but I've been given some notes about it, and they sound great.
00:27:27.000 Johnny Apple is the only CBD brand that will put respect on your name.
00:27:30.000 So it says here.
00:27:32.000 Founded in 2015 with Quality In Mind, Johnny Apple CBD, did you see what they did there?
00:27:36.000 Is made using US-grown hemp and third-party testing.
00:27:39.000 Amazing selection, including gummies, supplements, ointments, and even things for your pet.
00:27:42.000 You won't get high, but you will feel great.
00:27:44.000 Super fast, discreet, and free shipping.
00:27:46.000 And 20% off when use the code GAVIN at checkout.
00:27:49.000 That's jacbd.com.
00:27:51.000 J-A-C-B-D.com. 0.90
00:27:53.000 Go there, get some amazing CBD products, use the code GAVIN to support free speech and free speech businesses.
00:27:59.000 I don't take it because I'm not a downless person, but apparently it's great.
00:28:04.000 Enjoy yourself.
00:28:07.000 Hello folks, welcome to Get Off My Lawn.
00:28:10.000 We are here in DC.
00:28:12.000 We are hiding out in our hotel because we're petrified of young men.
00:28:18.000 Literally shaking.
00:28:20.000 We're scared of girls throwing stuff at us. 0.93
00:28:23.000 So we ran here in tears.
00:28:25.000 We were just at a bar called The Alibi next to the courthouse.
00:28:30.000 You gotta get off your phone if we're on TV.
00:28:33.000 I'm very uninterested in everything you're saying.
00:28:35.000 If you're more interesting, I'll put it down.
00:28:37.000 Ooh, that's a challenge.
00:28:39.000 We were at a bar called The Alibi next to the courthouse.
00:28:42.000 lady poured water on us.
00:28:44.000 We've since...
00:28:49.000 I threw a pint of Guinness on her.
00:28:51.000 And she said, go fuck yourself. 1.00
00:28:54.000 She's also said, kill yourself.
00:28:56.000 If you're wondering why we look like wet cats, it's because we are cats and we are wet.
00:29:02.000 Somebody just ran past it.
00:29:04.000 Fuck you! 0.99
00:29:05.000 A grumpy feminist just poured drinks on us. 1.00
00:29:08.000 We managed to get her back.
00:29:09.000 She's literally watering.
00:29:10.000 She's still yelling at us. 0.99
00:29:11.000 She's from a quarter mile away.
00:29:14.000 Do you know I actually quite like my hair like this?
00:29:16.000 I think I look kind of fresh and youthful.
00:29:18.000 But she's got a little moisture.
00:29:19.000 She's been there for about 20 minutes.
00:29:21.000 No, it was like, they were there for a full half an hour.
00:29:24.000 And then as they walked out, and only with water, which is so lame.
00:29:28.000 She said, you should be ashamed of yourself.
00:29:29.000 And then she screamed, kill yourself. 0.97
00:29:31.000 Kill yourself.
00:29:32.000 That hurt.
00:29:33.000 I'm not going to comply.
00:29:34.000 You know what's great about suits, though?
00:29:36.000 Everything just white soft.
00:29:39.000 It's tropical lightweight wool, but the water is dry.
00:29:42.000 It's moisture wicked.
00:29:45.000 Now, if I was wearing a woolly sweater, I'd actually be upset.
00:29:49.000 But I think I look moist and look fine.
00:29:54.000 Do you guys want to make a report?
00:29:56.000 Do you want me to call a cop?
00:29:58.000 And we've since looked her up, and I think she is, she sort of personifies a young millennial in stock.
00:30:06.000 She's posted about dead cops being the only good cops.
00:30:09.000 Sure.
00:30:10.000 She has, well, we'll flash up the screen show, I think.
00:30:14.000 No, you're so cool with the sunny lights.
00:30:17.000 So hang out with the pie.
00:30:19.000 You're not cool with anything.
00:30:21.000 I don't know about anything.
00:30:22.000 I mean, you were in the'90s, man.
00:30:24.000 No.
00:30:29.000 She sells nudes online, which if her grandmother, who was with her at lunch today, didn't know before, she will by the end of the day. 0.99
00:30:38.000 She sells nudes online.
00:30:40.000 She is, as you correctly say, the archetype, the epitome of an ethan.
00:30:48.000 And do you know what?
00:30:50.000 I'm in two minds about pressing charges.
00:30:53.000 Because on the one hand, I want these people to suffer.
00:30:55.000 And just for the sheer vindictive pleasure of it, I mean, we deserve to...
00:31:04.000 But on the other hand, isn't she going to punish herself enough?
00:31:09.000 It's not my cup of tea to do that level of petty lawfare, but I get it.
00:31:14.000 But it's not money.
00:31:15.000 That's not what lawfare is.
00:31:17.000 Lawfare is when you can't win on the merits, outspend them in court to make them go away or to destroy their life.
00:31:24.000 That's lawfare.
00:31:24.000 What we would be doing is legitimately exercising our rights to justice.
00:31:29.000 We were assaulted, unprompted, by two women. 0.98
00:31:34.000 We are entitled to insist that they're held for committing assault.
00:31:39.000 That's not lawfare.
00:31:40.000 It is a bitch move because the right thing to do would be to punch him in the face. 1.00
00:31:44.000 But we both get deported, so that option is not available to us.
00:31:47.000 What about if the punishment and the judge decided that her grandmother and her had to give us each a blowjob? 1.00
00:31:54.000 You could have both.
00:31:56.000 I would consider that fair.
00:31:59.000 A good blowjob. 0.55
00:31:59.000 I don't want any ET for it. 0.55
00:32:02.000 The girl can obviously give a banger because she spends her entire life, you know, getting $20 here, $40 here. 1.00
00:32:09.000 She's a whore. 1.00
00:32:11.000 She's literally also Greek from the surname.
00:32:15.000 Oh, yeah.
00:32:16.000 Imagine assaulting somebody and being so dumb that you leave behind your credit card receipt that has your name on it.
00:32:21.000 And what is her name?
00:32:22.000 Elizabeth?
00:32:22.000 It's Elizabeth Papadopoulos.
00:32:25.000 How can I mock Greek names?
00:32:27.000 Why do you guys have such incredibly complicated names?
00:32:29.000 They're rich.
00:32:30.000 Theodorocropoul.
00:32:32.000 Theodorocopoulos.
00:32:33.000 By the way, it's Tom Hills.
00:32:34.000 For years and years, Every time I type your name, I have to Google it and then cut and paste it.
00:32:39.000 Imagine being me.
00:32:42.000 Could you spell that for me?
00:32:43.000 Nope.
00:32:45.000 Elizabeth Pappillardo.
00:32:47.000 Appalardo.
00:32:48.000 Pappillardo.
00:32:48.000 Now, what I find interesting about all this is she hates us.
00:32:52.000 Let's go big picture here because we're trad Catholic conservatives who think that women would be better off with families than whatever they have.
00:33:05.000 And what's she doing?
00:33:06.000 She's online selling nudes, guaranteeing that she'll be alone and miserable forever. 0.99
00:33:10.000 In about six years, she'll be a blogger for Walcat.
00:33:15.000 You know what it's exactly like?
00:33:16.000 It's exactly like fat people pouring drinks on trainers. 0.96
00:33:21.000 On personal trainers?
00:33:22.000 Yeah.
00:33:22.000 Because that's what we are.
00:33:23.000 We're personal trainers for the soul.
00:33:24.000 You think I'm fat?
00:33:25.000 Yes.
00:33:26.000 You'd be much happier with a normal BMI under 200 pounds.
00:33:31.000 We are personal trainers for the soul.
00:33:33.000 So when you think about it, ideological trainers, you know?
00:33:33.000 Yes.
00:33:41.000 We are creating legions of terror in our minds.
00:33:45.000 And people with good souls, people in good shape, don't hate personal trainers.
00:33:51.000 And that black guy who was the boss boy came up to you later.
00:33:55.000 unfortunately thinks you're have more merit than I do but he said what's the What's the unprompted, unsolicited selfie?
00:34:05.000 5'4.
00:34:06.000 It's 5'3.
00:34:07.000 Fuck you.
00:34:08.000 5'3 ⁇ .
00:34:09.000 It is 6'3, because that was number 6.
00:34:11.000 No, he didn't take a picture.
00:34:12.000 It doesn't matter.
00:34:14.000 We have a mutually agreed addendum to the competition, which is if somebody comes up to us and says, I love you guys, and we ask, no pressure, but who do you like more, and whichever one they pick has an extra point.
00:34:28.000 And he picked me with no hesitation whatsoever.
00:34:30.000 Doesn't go backwards.
00:34:31.000 With no hesitation whatsoever.
00:34:32.000 Let me ask you folks at home.
00:34:33.000 6-3.
00:34:34.000 We have a $500 bet.
00:34:35.000 That owes me $500.
00:34:38.000 But this bet, and we can show the footage.
00:34:41.000 Come on, man.
00:34:44.000 Definitely won that.
00:34:46.000 I'm the cops guy.
00:34:49.000 The thing is, while you've had a much longer career, I was, briefly, much more famous than you.
00:34:56.000 Only for about nine months, but I was.
00:34:58.000 So, it's going to be very catchy wherever we go.
00:35:01.000 Very difficult to predict.
00:35:03.000 Every cop knows who I am.
00:35:06.000 Don't fucking cop nose who you are! 1.00
00:35:08.000 Evidently not.
00:35:10.000 Well, we can have a little game while we're here this week if you like.
00:35:13.000 Yes, let's have a game!
00:35:15.000 Let's pull a fucking game!
00:35:17.000 Fine, Byron.
00:35:19.000 You're curving the copper camp.
00:35:20.000 I can't solicit it.
00:35:22.000 Whoever gets the largest number of...
00:35:27.000 How's that?
00:35:28.000 Fine.
00:35:29.000 Good.
00:35:30.000 I paid myself $500.
00:35:32.000 One zero.
00:35:34.000 And then when we get back on the train on Thursday.
00:35:37.000 Fine.
00:35:38.000 This vet was created after I had drank half a bottle of bourbon.
00:35:41.000 Why?
00:35:42.000 And I'm not saying yes or no.
00:35:43.000 Do you speak of a vet where someone said half a bottle of bourbon is a legitimate title?
00:35:48.000 Do you know how ungallant?
00:35:49.000 I was drinking too, but do you know how ungallant you look?
00:35:51.000 Do you know how entirely without honor you are?
00:35:53.000 I'm posing right now.
00:35:56.000 You're being slippery and slimy and disreputable and dishonest and dishonorable to vote.
00:36:02.000 Which is why.
00:36:03.000 Which is why.
00:36:04.000 No, it's on footage.
00:36:05.000 We have it on film.
00:36:06.000 He admitted it.
00:36:08.000 Which is why, in anticipation of you weaseling out of this like I knew you would, I spent $482 on room surface during this trip.
00:36:17.000 You're fucking kidding me.
00:36:19.000 No, no, because I knew I'd win and I knew you'd weasel out of it.
00:36:22.000 What did you order?
00:36:24.000 Alcohol, snacks at night.
00:36:26.000 I had to work hard to spend that much in a place this cheap.
00:36:32.000 I'm gone snack.
00:36:35.000 I spent $182.
00:36:37.000 Yes, because I knew, A, that I would win, and B, that you would be a slippery, disreputable, dishonest cunt about it. 0.87
00:36:43.000 You would try to slip.
00:36:44.000 You focus weasel your way out of paying to legitimate bet.
00:36:49.000 This man is cashed in his bet before he won.
00:36:51.000 No, I wasn't.
00:36:52.000 I have been winning since the beginning of the bet.
00:36:54.000 Before you went, the deal watched me to get back to New York.
00:36:56.000 You've never been ahead of me.
00:36:57.000 No.
00:36:59.000 Again, another detail you don't remember.
00:37:00.000 That's on tape.
00:37:01.000 No.
00:37:01.000 The deal watched that we get on the train.
00:37:04.000 No, when we arrive in Grand Central, when we arrive in New York.
00:37:07.000 If you manage to get a new base.
00:37:08.000 You've already cashed in on a bet that you made with a chief man.
00:37:11.000 If you manage, if you manage to pull it back from 6'3, I'll pay you double.
00:37:17.000 Because I know you won't.
00:37:19.000 We're going to spend some time outside.
00:37:20.000 I got to get seen.
00:37:23.000 You have to be seen.
00:37:24.000 I'll go to Kelly Jackson Times.
00:37:25.000 You know what?
00:37:26.000 I'd love you there.
00:37:27.000 And unfortunately, no one cares.
00:37:32.000 It's funny that we have a second edition.
00:37:34.000 You've been seen and drenched.
00:37:38.000 You've been seen and found drenched.
00:37:42.000 That's true, but I absolutely hate being famous.
00:37:45.000 I would love to push a magic button.
00:37:47.000 Oh my god, me too.
00:37:49.000 Is that why you're so bad at it?
00:37:55.000 It's a nightmare.
00:37:56.000 And you know what else is disturbing about being famous?
00:37:59.000 Is these young millennial men, they'll put up in a picture with me, right? 1.00
00:38:03.000 And they'll put their arm around me, and I can feel them shaking.
00:38:06.000 Yeah, I get that too, but rather than you being a dick about it, and I can't feel shaking these little millennial men, when you have looked up to somebody, when they've like shaped your value system, it petrifies you when you meet them in real life because you want them to like you. 0.68
00:38:22.000 You never thought you'd actually meet them in real life.
00:38:24.000 It's overwhelming.
00:38:26.000 No.
00:38:26.000 Every man should see all men as peers.
00:38:29.000 You shouldn't have this hierarchy in your head where you're being a god.
00:38:33.000 And yet you agreed to a wager on the basis of you being seen as a god.
00:38:38.000 No, I agreed to a wager.
00:38:40.000 After a bottle of bourbon.
00:38:42.000 No, now it's a bottle, having been half a bottle earlier.
00:38:45.000 Why are you drinking so much at the moment?
00:38:48.000 Wages in my family.
00:38:49.000 Because you've passed out every night.
00:38:51.000 You have done unspeakable things.
00:38:56.000 Every night.
00:38:56.000 You've pissed yourself twice in a row.
00:38:59.000 You have urinated in the bed while asleep.
00:39:01.000 Wow, when you hear that in a row.
00:39:05.000 It's not surprising.
00:39:06.000 It is disgusting.
00:39:09.000 I'm drinking yourself into.
00:39:12.000 Because, I mean, if it was feces, I'd be like, oh, not this again.
00:39:18.000 no one pisses the bed.
00:39:19.000 Seven-year-olds piss the bed.
00:39:21.000 All Scots drinks.
00:39:22.000 You have been drinking yourself to oblivion every night for the last four days, and I want to know why because I care about you.
00:39:28.000 And also, if you die, I won't get paid.
00:39:30.000 So, what's going on?
00:39:32.000 I'm away from my family.
00:39:33.000 I consider business trips a form of a vacation.
00:39:36.000 Is this fun for you?
00:39:37.000 Pissing yourself and waking up with no memory of the last four hours of the previous night?
00:39:40.000 Is that a vacation?
00:39:42.000 I would say four hours.
00:39:43.000 I would say you lost.
00:39:44.000 You lose two and a half.
00:39:45.000 Actually, no, I didn't lose anything last night I went to bed.
00:39:47.000 You dignity.
00:39:48.000 Did you see my suit?
00:39:48.000 Your dignity.
00:39:49.000 My suit was laid out neatly.
00:39:50.000 I took my horse.
00:39:51.000 Your suit off.
00:39:52.000 Your suit was laid out neatly at the end of the bed.
00:39:55.000 No, it wassued.
00:39:56.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:39:57.000 Your heads wouldn't get wrinkled.
00:39:58.000 The jacket was hung up.
00:40:00.000 The jacket was hanging neatly.
00:40:01.000 There were clothes.
00:40:03.000 Hung. 0.54
00:40:03.000 Hang is the people. 0.54
00:40:05.000 There were clothes on the bed, neatly there, and your legs were that side of them. 0.86
00:40:10.000 And something about you, despite the fact that you literally sit in the bed.
00:40:15.000 The suit that I'm wearing.
00:40:16.000 You were not.
00:40:17.000 It was perfectly preserved.
00:40:18.000 So I remember everything about last night.
00:40:20.000 I remember Jacob Wool.
00:40:23.000 And yet you still pissed yourself.
00:40:25.000 Yes.
00:40:27.000 I just want you to understand that moment.
00:40:28.000 We're not joking.
00:40:29.000 This is not a metaphor.
00:40:31.000 This is not a funny flight of fancy.
00:40:34.000 He pisses the bed.
00:40:37.000 I piss the bed.
00:40:38.000 It's not high enough.
00:40:40.000 If you do do it out.
00:40:42.000 $5,000 couch.
00:40:43.000 You haven't owned up yet too.
00:40:45.000 You're saying that on camera.
00:40:48.000 Yes.
00:40:48.000 Really?
00:40:49.000 We want to shut down.
00:40:52.000 Well, anyways.
00:40:53.000 Let me tell you about the time.
00:40:54.000 So about five days ago.
00:40:56.000 I was there on camera, but we were taking pictures of my disgusting luggage strewn across the hotel room floor.
00:41:03.000 Yeah, way worse.
00:41:04.000 So I went the couch last week, and my wife's parents are very wealthy.
00:41:12.000 They don't like me, so they won't buy meat shit, but they'll buy her furniture.
00:41:15.000 So our furniture is maliciously pissed on it.
00:41:18.000 Our furniture is absurdly lavish.
00:41:20.000 And we have this like $10,000 couch.
00:41:24.000 So I piss it because I don't want to piss the bed.
00:41:28.000 Don't be on your phone on TV.
00:41:29.000 I've heard this so many times, and it's so disagreeable.
00:41:31.000 Have you heard this story?
00:41:32.000 Yes, I have.
00:41:33.000 I'm trying not to focus on the best.
00:41:35.000 Or the couch cushions.
00:41:36.000 Yes.
00:41:37.000 Because this one's removable and the other ones aren't because you're like a Chester champ.
00:41:40.000 And then I asked you about how many times have you urinated the bed with your wife in it? 0.99
00:41:45.000 You said about 30.
00:41:47.000 About 30 times your wife has woken up because she feels damp.
00:41:51.000 And she is getting the point now where it is as bad as infidelity.
00:41:55.000 Like I'm not, if I was having an affair or I went to bed, I think she'd be the same amount of mad. 0.95
00:42:02.000 100% I would rather my husband was unfaithful rather than incontinent.
00:42:08.000 100%.
00:42:09.000 You have this ritual down now.
00:42:10.000 So you now have an iron hot and I take all the sheets off and then I push the iron on the mattress and you're pushing down this hot iron and steam is rising up and it's ice steam.
00:42:22.000 And you're fanatic when you're doing it because as a married man you only get maybe like two hours alone with a mattress without your wife in the house.
00:42:31.000 So she's like driving someone to a movie or something and you're like steaming the beds out of a mattress. 0.99
00:42:39.000 It's so stressful dude.
00:42:41.000 By the time you're done, you're drenched in sweat.
00:42:43.000 The only other it's like escaping from prison.
00:42:45.000 The only other people I know have this problem are people that do ketoning four days a week for 10 years.
00:42:51.000 And they just simply have no bladder control.
00:42:54.000 In my book, I said, you know, I had kids and then I settled down and I stopped partying and my kids are my drugs.
00:43:01.000 But I'm actually sort of thinking about it, I might be more wasted now than I was like with Vice and Johnny Knoxville and the East Village and all that.
00:43:10.000 Because now there are no consequences.
00:43:11.000 Yeah, now there's just as much hedonism.
00:43:15.000 I mean, there's not infidelity, but there is unbelievable partying, vomiting.
00:43:20.000 Like, I woke up, I went to see a fight the other night, and I checked my Harrington the next day, and there's vomit on it.
00:43:27.000 What's a Harrington?
00:43:28.000 A Harrington is the Steve McQueen Jacket.
00:43:30.000 Oh, Jacket.
00:43:32.000 There's vomit on it.
00:43:33.000 I have no idea how everybody under 50 words than the circle.
00:43:38.000 Oh, you'd be surprised.
00:43:39.000 Oh, speaking of which, now that Milo and I is number one, and we've switched to a new Friday night format, I no longer have minutes until Gavin is 50, which I do once a fortnight.
00:43:50.000 But I can tell you.
00:43:50.000 Surely you can bring it.
00:43:51.000 I can tell you it's about 300,000.
00:43:54.000 I couldn't be happier.
00:43:56.000 I'm totally elated about being 50.
00:43:58.000 I think 50 is an age where you can buy yourself a Rolex.
00:44:02.000 Why would you not have bought yourself a Rolex?
00:44:04.000 Well, it's hard to explain to someone who's not gay. 0.97
00:44:08.000 Sorry, someone who is gay. 1.00
00:44:10.000 But unbelievable expenditures are very traumatic to normal straight man.
00:44:16.000 Like you're, what's your, that jacket with the fur that you have?
00:44:18.000 $20,000.
00:44:19.000 $20,000.
00:44:20.000 That's unfathomable to a straight man.
00:44:22.000 That's not true.
00:44:25.000 It's not true.
00:44:25.000 I've got two teens.
00:44:26.000 They're both in school.
00:44:27.000 I've got school fees to find.
00:44:29.000 All kinds of other things.
00:44:30.000 My monthly bonus is like, you know, an extraordinary amount of money.
00:44:33.000 I've got to make it.
00:44:33.000 I've got to find it.
00:44:34.000 But the difference between you and me is, although I have the appearance of a loosh and a party boy, I actually spend 16 hours a day in front of a laptop working.
00:44:44.000 Whereas you spend 16 hours a day drinking.
00:44:47.000 So the reason that you are more respectful of money is it's more hard to come by for you because you can't hold it together for more than a day.
00:44:53.000 That's actually patently false, Milo.
00:44:56.000 That's patently false.
00:44:58.000 Drowning in money.
00:44:58.000 Patently false is code for got me there.
00:45:01.000 No, but I'm not saying my problem is genetic.
00:45:04.000 Genetically spending money, like buying a $26,000 watch feels physically painful, but every man wants a Rolex. 0.55
00:45:14.000 And I think you can get yourself a Rolex when you're 50.
00:45:17.000 You wear a watch that looks like it came out of a Christmas cracker.
00:45:22.000 And not the good one.
00:45:24.000 You've got like the third best gift at the table.
00:45:26.000 It is.
00:45:28.000 It's a night, NITE.
00:45:29.000 It cost me $700.
00:45:31.000 Yeah, but it looks like it costs you $70.
00:45:35.000 Look at this, I wouldn't even...
00:45:41.000 I'm going to put it on.
00:45:42.000 Look, so the bracelet it's next to.
00:45:46.000 This was $700.
00:45:48.000 Yeah, it costs like a 16th of the bracelet it's next to.
00:45:48.000 Yeah.
00:45:52.000 Is that $7,000?
00:45:54.000 You can tell.
00:45:54.000 $7,000.
00:45:55.000 No, it's not true.
00:45:56.000 Was I there when you got that?
00:45:57.000 Yeah, I think you were, so you know it was only about four.
00:45:59.000 But $7,000 cold change.
00:46:05.000 It was a gift to me from someone else, who then they let me go pick it up myself, which was nice.
00:46:12.000 From whom?
00:46:13.000 From my husband.
00:46:15.000 Oh.
00:46:16.000 So from me.
00:46:18.000 Yeah, with your money.
00:46:20.000 No, he owns his own money.
00:46:21.000 He's a strong, independent black gentleman who don't need no man.
00:46:25.000 Who you give all your money to?
00:46:27.000 Most of it, to be honest.
00:46:28.000 'Cause it's four of us and it's him and two kids.
00:46:28.000 Yeah.
00:46:30.000 So I haven't bought myself anything for a very long time.
00:46:35.000 I am.
00:46:36.000 I haven't really.
00:46:38.000 What?
00:46:38.000 Well, I just want to know if someone's caught up, because it might be a...
00:46:46.000 We can put Ryan in there and take him home in a barrel.
00:46:52.000 No, if it's my lawyer, I can pretend to leave.
00:46:56.000 I've got to leave the show.
00:46:57.000 Oh, speaking of which, we were on the train on the way here.
00:47:01.000 Ooh! 0.96
00:47:04.000 And this has got to go as my son.
00:47:07.000 I'm just going to break my legs.
00:47:10.000 No, I was not being bombastic.
00:47:11.000 I was merely at a medium volume.
00:47:15.000 No, you were very loud, but that's a very simple.
00:47:16.000 At a medium volume, previewing one of the songs from my upcoming musical, He Him the Opera, which is going to be the Christmas special episode of Friday Night's All Right.
00:47:28.000 So look forward to that.
00:47:29.000 End of the year, Christmas special is going to be the musical, He Him the Opera, about a man who cuts his cock off and then regrets it.
00:47:37.000 But basically, laughing very loud.
00:47:40.000 Just laughing, really.
00:47:41.000 Just laughing.
00:47:42.000 Just infected with the joy of existence, you know, with the divine comedy, whatever.
00:47:48.000 We know what laughing is.
00:47:51.000 I was just being florid.
00:47:53.000 Okay.
00:47:54.000 I was just being a little pumped.
00:47:57.000 And there's smoke.
00:48:00.000 Are you smoking your vape?
00:48:02.000 Give me the vape.
00:48:04.000 Give me the vape.
00:48:04.000 Why don't you stick a butt plug in your vape every day?
00:48:07.000 Give me the vape.
00:48:08.000 I'll see if I can fit in there, but.
00:48:09.000 I'm trying to do a show and you got smoke going all over the room.
00:48:13.000 Give me the damn vape. 1.00
00:48:16.000 See, this is my working out of it.
00:48:16.000 I'll hurt you.
00:48:18.000 So sorry, sit down.
00:48:19.000 Please return to this.
00:48:21.000 Okay, so as Milo was laughing in like a fucking human cacophony, I got an email.
00:48:29.000 I prefer to think of myself as a sort of a camp.
00:48:33.000 Like a hyena.
00:48:34.000 I'm like a hyena, sure.
00:48:35.000 That'll do.
00:48:36.000 That's accurate.
00:48:38.000 And as he was doing that, I got an email from Amtrak that said, please contact Amtrak.
00:48:44.000 Milo's tickets cancelled.
00:48:47.000 So we think that I might be banned from a federally subsidized, state-subsidized, effectively a government department.
00:48:52.000 And we called lawyers about it, and they said, you're fucked.
00:48:56.000 Yeah, I spoke to two.
00:48:57.000 Well, actually, so I didn't call, but I spoke to two lawyers in the courtroom, the courthouse today, where we're here for the Roger trial.
00:49:05.000 More about that later.
00:49:06.000 But I spoke to two of them, and they both said, yeah, they can ban you from Amtrak.
00:49:11.000 You can ban you from anywhere.
00:49:12.000 In fact, the government can ban you much more readily and with fewer consequences than the private companies can, because who is it that enforces or overturns bans to private companies?
00:49:21.000 The government.
00:49:21.000 They can do whatever they want.
00:49:23.000 If you go into a courthouse and someone doesn't like the look of you, they can ban you and just make up that you were being disrupted.
00:49:27.000 Likewise, Amtrak could just say you were disrupting other passengers, refuse to do this, that, and the other.
00:49:32.000 There's no camera footage.
00:49:33.000 It's your word against theirs. 0.92
00:49:34.000 You're banned.
00:49:34.000 You've done it.
00:49:35.000 So here's the email.
00:49:37.000 It says, please contact Amtrak.
00:49:39.000 And this arrived three to four minutes after a very fat, very gay train conductor walked past and scowled at us, right? 0.91
00:49:47.000 Do you remember that?
00:49:48.000 Do you remember that fat fag? 1.00
00:49:50.000 And we did make a few quips quietly to ourselves.
00:49:53.000 But possibly.
00:49:54.000 Tickets, please.
00:49:56.000 Oh, yeah, we do.
00:49:57.000 I forgot about that.
00:49:58.000 Tickets, please.
00:50:00.000 Tickets, please.
00:50:00.000 Tickets money pass the ball.
00:50:02.000 You're still in the car.
00:50:03.000 Teas, coffee, hot chocolate.
00:50:06.000 we were doing that.
00:50:06.000 Anyway, You can't ride the train if you're.
00:50:10.000 Dear Amtrak customer, we've noticed a problem with your reservation.
00:50:14.000 Please call Amtrak at 1800 blah, blah, blah.
00:50:16.000 As soon as possible to reconfirm your travel plans and ensure your itinerary is properly reserved.
00:50:20.000 Provide the customer service agent with your reservation number below.
00:50:23.000 Review Amtrak's refund policy for details.
00:50:25.000 Refund penalties up to and including the forfeit of your entire ticket may apply if you do not notify Amtrak in advance.
00:50:30.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:50:32.000 But four minutes after this guy walks through the carriage, this email from Amtrak arrives.
00:50:38.000 So we're going to call Amtrak now.
00:50:40.000 Gavin will speak to them as the person who purchased the tickets.
00:50:44.000 And we will see what they have to say.
00:50:46.000 One am I going to say you have to say rail?
00:50:48.000 I'm going to say, my friend has AIDS.
00:50:51.000 And he uses Gallows Human to get through the pain.
00:50:53.000 Hi, La Julie.
00:50:54.000 Amtrak on Digit Agent to check if a particular train is running on time.
00:50:59.000 Milo is gracious.
00:51:00.000 She has been, she just opened the door.
00:51:08.000 Sorry, I can't tell whether you said yes or no.
00:51:11.000 I said hello.
00:51:14.000 I still can't tell whether you said yes or no.
00:51:17.000 I said hello.
00:51:20.000 Okay, I'll transfer you to any track agent.
00:51:23.000 All of our reservation sales agents are currently assisting other customers.
00:51:30.000 Let's see how long it's going to be.
00:51:34.000 Thanks.
00:51:37.000 Probably start with a free Amtrak customer.
00:51:38.000 Okay, well, let's just leave it there.
00:51:40.000 Let's just leave it there.
00:51:42.000 But if I'm banned from Amtrak, that is a new escalation in the conservative sense of because private companies, even all the way up to banks, have been doing it.
00:51:50.000 If one or more of us is now just passing you over to the ticket holder, one moment, please, sir.
00:52:00.000 Hello?
00:52:02.000 Yes.
00:52:03.000 I got a notice recently about a reservation I have that has been canceled for some reason.
00:52:10.000 Okay, do you have the reservation number?
00:52:11.000 Yes, reservation number is 4306B4.
00:52:17.000 Fine, fine.
00:52:24.000 Can I go ahead and consider the name of the reservation?
00:52:29.000 Uh, Milo Giannopoulos.
00:52:31.000 Okay, email the term name of the reservation.
00:52:34.000 Uh Gavin at free speech.tv Okay, and the last further information I need to verify this reservation is he'll be departing for him.
00:52:44.000 He's departing from DC and arriving in Newark.
00:52:49.000 Uh check for um okay when did you get this email?
00:52:55.000 Um Monday yeah while we were on our way to DC on the outlet like great would that be Sunday yeah oh I have it here November 4th 907 p.m.
00:53:15.000 Yeah.
00:53:15.000 That's what he says before he jumps.
00:53:29.000 We did take that train.
00:53:33.000 We had a great time.
00:53:34.000 But I'm concerned that because of my comrade's political affiliations.
00:53:41.000 Oh, no.
00:53:42.000 It was sexual preference.
00:53:45.000 It's not because I'm a Republican.
00:53:47.000 It's because I have AIDS.
00:53:49.000 He's also wildly gay.
00:53:52.000 Like, makes Oscar Wilde look like Bruce Banner.
00:54:00.000 Make RuPaul look like Steve McQueen.
00:54:13.000 I'm a fan of your ticket.
00:54:14.000 And they went ahead and canceled that board.
00:54:16.000 And he created e-mail for $192.
00:54:19.000 But why was the ticket canceled?
00:54:22.000 There was a very overweight, very obnoxious train conductor.
00:54:27.000 And I'm wondering if he took a disliking to me because I'm quite a well-known author.
00:54:31.000 Maybe he read my book.
00:54:33.000 He didn't like the jokes or something.
00:54:35.000 But I don't understand why that could have happened because he knew I was on the train.
00:54:38.000 Okay.
00:54:40.000 I'm reporting here as well.
00:54:40.000 I'm out of position.
00:54:41.000 I'm taking my report.
00:54:42.000 Maybe you could call him and ask him.
00:54:44.000 You can't ban people because of their books.
00:54:48.000 No, he's not allowed to.
00:54:50.000 That's a good part of my policy.
00:54:51.000 Okay.
00:54:51.000 Okay.
00:54:51.000 Thanks.
00:54:52.000 We'll file a suit.
00:54:55.000 First of all, don't worry about this.
00:54:57.000 No, no, no.
00:54:57.000 Do not worry about it.
00:54:58.000 You idiot.
00:54:58.000 Don't.
00:55:00.000 Because you know nothing of the world and you are a demetrious retard, you should never, ever, ever make any legal threats because they have to stop what they're doing and pass you on to lawyers. 1.00
00:55:10.000 And they can't, as soon as you make a legal threat, they can no longer help you because they're instructed.
00:55:14.000 The moment you say it, mention anything about a lawsuit, it goes straight to the lawyers and you will never see it again.
00:55:18.000 You'll never get your money back.
00:55:19.000 I'm glad I did that.
00:55:20.000 All he cares about right now is his job.
00:55:22.000 The worst fucking thing you can ever do is threaten someone with a lawsuit.
00:55:26.000 If you want to file a lawsuit against someone, go and file it or send them a letter saying, do this or we're filing lawsuits.
00:55:31.000 It's called a letter before action.
00:55:32.000 Never, ever, ever, ever, ever threaten people with lawsuits because they, not because it's a shitty thing to do or not effective, because the second anybody hears that, they have to shut the call down and pass you on to somebody else and it becomes a nightmare.
00:55:43.000 Well, it becomes a legal matter.
00:55:45.000 You've started the proceedings.
00:55:47.000 And then they will only deal with lawyers, so you are compelled, if you want your money back, or to get a resolution, go hire an actual lawyer and you were like, oh, I was just trying to get my money back.
00:55:56.000 Don't do it if you're watching this at home.
00:55:58.000 Don't do it.
00:55:59.000 It doesn't work.
00:55:59.000 I'm in a series of...
00:56:02.000 Oh, please, madam. 0.99
00:56:02.000 And then you're done. 0.99
00:56:03.000 You're done.
00:56:04.000 You're fucked.
00:56:04.000 What if an addictive bitch, if it was this train conductor, what a bitchy thing to do.
00:56:11.000 Just be like, oh my God, he's on the train.
00:56:13.000 Cancel it.
00:56:14.000 No, what he did was he went and he said, he forfeited the ticket, meaning didn't get on this train.
00:56:20.000 So that the return ticket would get cancelled, so that we'd get to the room for me to go on in a minute.
00:56:25.000 So now what they've done is they've issued you with a voucher, right?
00:56:28.000 Which we didn't know, so I have no ticket returning, so the price might go up in the meantime.
00:56:32.000 Right?
00:56:36.000 I've got a $194 voucher.
00:56:38.000 There might not even be a seat on the train for me.
00:56:40.000 I'd like to take his.
00:56:41.000 I was talking to Michael Caputo yesterday and Anthony Cumia today, and he said, we're getting to be, well, Anthony goes, we're like Russia.
00:56:50.000 And I said, that's what Caputo said yesterday.
00:56:52.000 He goes, we're Russia.
00:56:53.000 But I was talking to someone else about this, Charles Johnson, actually.
00:56:57.000 And he said, at least in Soviet gulags, you would go, you'd be persecuted, you'd go to re-education.
00:57:04.000 Yes.
00:57:04.000 Hello.
00:57:05.000 Yeah, I'm here.
00:57:07.000 Oh, I see.
00:57:08.000 So apparently we need to get you in two weeks and three.
00:57:14.000 Oh, no.
00:57:16.000 He must have done that.
00:57:21.000 We were on the train.
00:57:22.000 We were there.
00:57:22.000 He scanned my friend's tickets.
00:57:24.000 There was three of us, right?
00:57:25.000 Yeah, we scanned the tickets.
00:57:26.000 Two people on a different reservation.
00:57:27.000 He scanned the tickets.
00:57:29.000 So obviously with mine, he's deliberately not done it.
00:57:31.000 I might have it on camera.
00:57:34.000 Can you just restore the old booking?
00:57:36.000 Can you do that?
00:57:37.000 Can we just restore the old booking?
00:57:38.000 Because I want to go home today on the train.
00:57:39.000 Okay, fine, fine.
00:57:44.000 Watch your best.
00:57:46.000 Why is that on my camera?
00:57:47.000 What?
00:57:48.000 Depending on where we started shooting.
00:57:49.000 Because we shot for 20 minutes straight.
00:57:53.000 Tickets.
00:57:53.000 After you, right after you got on the train.
00:57:55.000 Tickets.
00:57:55.000 Tickets.
00:57:56.000 Hey, you gotta do me.
00:57:57.000 I gotta piss.
00:57:58.000 No, no, I can't do this without you.
00:58:00.000 I can be you.
00:58:01.000 I can do you.
00:58:03.000 It's easy.
00:58:04.000 All right, well, I need the train ticket.
00:58:05.000 Gavin McKinnon.
00:58:06.000 What do I do if I want you to take Gavin?
00:58:08.000 Just piss myself?
00:58:09.000 No, just kind of talk like this and don't hold the phone at me.
00:58:14.000 up just shut up you're not the boss of me uh hi thank you thank you uh yeah i'll take a look thank you uh i mean look if you say you've if you say you've done it i'm sure that's fine is there anything else i'm gonna think of it well i don't know i just i just wanna know how i'm gonna avoid in future um you know, 0.81
00:58:44.000 crazy leftist activist employees of yours maliciously cancelling my tickets. 0.57
00:58:57.000 Okay, even if he's fat, he hates me.
00:58:59.000 Okay, even if he's fat, he's fat.
00:59:06.000 I'm sorry.
00:59:09.000 Okay, listen, I'm really grateful for your help.
00:59:11.000 Can I say your name, please?
00:59:13.000 Oh, Wally.
00:59:14.000 Wally.
00:59:14.000 Oh, that's an excellent name.
00:59:16.000 Alright, listen, thank you very much, Wally, and thank you for fixing that.
00:59:19.000 You don't like feminists, do you? 1.00
00:59:21.000 These like, you know, crazy, like, angry, fat, gay feminists. 1.00
00:59:24.000 You're not about that, right?
00:59:25.000 I don't know.
00:59:26.000 I'm not about that.
00:59:27.000 Okay, good, good, good.
00:59:28.000 Alright.
00:59:28.000 Thank you, Wally.
00:59:29.000 God bless.
00:59:31.000 Take care.
00:59:31.000 Thanks, man.
00:59:32.000 Thank you.
00:59:32.000 Bye.
00:59:37.000 I said, how do I avoid your fat, angry, far-leftist employees doing this again?
00:59:42.000 He says, when you get on the train, make sure the conductor scans your ticket.
00:59:45.000 And I said, even if he's fat and he hates me?
00:59:47.000 And he said, yes, even if he hates you.
00:59:50.000 So then I was like, what's your name, Wally?
00:59:52.000 Oh, it's a good name.
00:59:53.000 Wally, you don't like fat, angry feminists, do you? 1.00
00:59:56.000 Wally?
00:59:56.000 He's like, no, no, no.
00:59:57.000 I like everybody.
01:00:00.000 This has been a great show.
01:00:01.000 He's reinstated the tickets that we can actually get back to New York.
01:00:03.000 Which means you'll see me.
01:00:05.000 Friday night, 8 p.m., or whenever I get around to actually appearing, because it is my gay progressive to be late.
01:00:10.000 Friday night's alright on free speech.tv.
01:00:13.000 Gather, of course, is back in his regular slot.
01:00:15.000 We've had fun in DC and there'll be more news from me on Friday night and next week about the Roger Stone trial.
01:00:20.000 Thank you very much for joining us.
01:00:21.000 Anything you'd like to add?