Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E84 - VETERAN'S DAY INVENTIONS

00:00:14.000 I'm from New York.

00:00:17.000 I'm nothing but talk, hips and you're all in the same but giving me the sweet talk fucking *Loud noise* Happy Veterans Day, folks at home.

00:00:46.000 We are back in New York City and ready to report on the world.

00:00:50.000 This helmet is very heavy and feels weird.

00:00:53.000 I can hear an echo.

00:00:56.000 Imagine having this on your head.

00:00:58.000 You're in a trench, and you realize this is on my head, so someone can't blow my head off.

00:01:07.000 How intense must that be?

00:01:09.000 Just too much.

00:01:11.000 Imagine being too stupid to even buckle it properly.

00:01:15.000 There.

00:01:16.000 That's perfect.

00:01:19.000 How do you do this buckle?

00:01:21.000 Just the amount of ammo wasn't sufficient, and then you just got this heavy rifle.

00:01:27.000 I shot an M1 Grand out in Vegas a couple years back, and man, is it heavy?

00:01:32.000 They get jammed up sometimes.

00:01:34.000 You don't have a lot of bullets, and they kick so hard, and the sight's not very good.

00:01:39.000 You have to really learn how to work that sight.

00:01:41.000 There's just so much fodder, human fodder, artillery fodder.

00:01:45.000 Everything was fodder.

00:01:46.000 Just mud.

00:01:48.000 It was like there was barely a delineation between the men dying and the mud around them.

00:01:54.000 It was just like, send some more mud over the hill.

00:01:57.000 Send them to die.

00:01:59.000 And they just went, well, I'm 18.

00:02:01.000 I don't even know what the fuck this stupid war is about.

00:02:04.000 They always say, like, with World War II, oh, they saw the Holocaust.

00:02:07.000 They were learning they hated the Nazis because they're anti-Semitic.

00:02:10.000 No one knew what the fuck the Nazis were doing with the Holocaust until way after the war.

00:02:15.000 Though the horror stories you heard and the shocking pictures you saw were in the 50s, late 40s.

00:02:23.000 And then everyone was mortified.

00:02:25.000 I was talking to G Vaucher from the Punk Band Krass, and she said, she was born around then.

00:02:31.000 And she said, it was such a strange time because there was this sense of excitement and happiness and Jubilee, little Queen's Jubilee.

00:02:38.000 But at the same time, we were seeing these pictures of the six million dead, and it was shocking and horrifying.

00:02:46.000 And that's why her art, if you ever look at her Givoche's collages, it's always like something really happy and a beautiful, happy family.

00:02:53.000 And why wouldn't you be looking this up while I'm talking about it?

00:02:55.000 Oh, Givoche's art?

00:02:57.000 Yeah, well, why don't you spell that name?

00:02:59.000 G-E-E-V-A-U-C-H-E-R. 1.00

00:03:01.000 But why wouldn't you start looking at that?

00:03:04.000 I'm talking about art on a show that has pictures.

00:03:07.000 Yeah.

00:03:08.000 Actually, one of them we have right up here.

00:03:10.000 Go wide?

00:03:13.000 No, it's not in the shot.

00:03:16.000 It's that one in the top left.

00:03:19.000 No.

00:03:20.000 The one with the smiling military guy.

00:03:22.000 Oh, yes, that's right.

00:03:23.000 My mother hates this picture.

00:03:26.000 She said, I don't want to light that on the wall.

00:03:29.000 It's trivializing what they went through.

00:03:31.000 And I'm like, no, mom, it's the opposite.

00:03:33.000 It's showing how macabre it all is and how we try to paint the war as something other than hell on earth.

00:03:41.000 It's horrific.

00:03:43.000 Anyway, she's also a great realist painter.

00:03:45.000 She's one of my favorite artists.

00:03:46.000 I'm going to write her a letter.

00:03:47.000 She did that one with the Statue of Liberty that's been used by everyone in the world, unfortunately.

00:03:55.000 That makes it less cool, kind of, right?

00:03:57.000 Yeah.

00:03:58.000 Oh, the opening band was the vaccines.

00:04:01.000 That song was, I think, from 2011, Norgad, about a pretty girl named Norgad who was unbelievably hot.

00:04:09.000 But she's only 17, so she's probably not ready.

00:04:15.000 I don't think they ever matched this jam.

00:04:17.000 They're still around, but how do you beat this?

00:04:19.000 Turn it up.

00:04:20.000 Show me 17, so she's probably not ready.

00:04:23.000 3-A-M-A-N, V-A-N-O. 1.00

00:04:26.000 I've got a star you want to cover.

00:04:27.000 Cross Bay Boulevard.

00:04:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:38.000 Beautiful.

00:04:38.000 Yes.

00:04:40.000 That's not my type.

00:04:41.000 Is that your type?

00:04:43.000 I mean, that's just a beautiful person.

00:04:45.000 Well, if that's your type, why didn't you hook up with that Texan, you pussy homo? 1.00

00:04:49.000 Whoa, whoa.

00:04:51.000 Easy.

00:04:52.000 I hate when young men have pussy handed to them on a silver platter and they're like, it wasn't the right time. 0.86

00:04:57.000 Sometimes people are just more than pussy, Gavin.

00:05:01.000 Yeah, there should be no situation where someone above a six offers you herself and you're like, oh, I got to go change my ramen noodle subscription.

00:05:11.000 I thought you're comeback and I set you up for a perfect one.

00:05:14.000 Sometimes people are more than pussy, Gavin.

00:05:15.000 You'd be like, yeah, not you.

00:05:17.000 Pussy? 1.00

00:05:18.000 That would have been good.

00:05:19.000 I should have said you're no more than a pussy. 1.00

00:05:21.000 Yes.

00:05:22.000 So yeah, this is Veterans Day episode.

00:05:26.000 And I have Max calling me from prison, Ulster Prison, in about 20 minutes.

00:05:33.000 So I'll ask if he's allowed for us to record it.

00:05:36.000 If not, I'll get up.

00:05:37.000 And Ryan, you can read some mailbag letters.

00:05:40.000 Okay.

00:05:40.000 Do you know my code on my computer?

00:05:42.000 Yep.

00:05:43.000 I'll set that up for you so it's all ready to go.

00:05:48.000 Got some good ones.

00:05:49.000 If they're boring and they're really long, don't read them.

00:05:51.000 If it's someone sending you a song, don't click on it.

00:05:53.000 Obviously, the people can't see you.

00:05:55.000 Just like an interesting paragraph.

00:05:57.000 Okay.

00:05:58.000 I wanted to start the show with this incredible video I saw.

00:06:02.000 This is 01.

00:06:03.000 Of this D-Day vet.

00:06:05.000 This is a British guy who was at D-Day, which I kind of feel a kinship with men who are D-Day because I saw Saving Private Ryan stoned.

00:06:14.000 And I feel like this is kind of my day.

00:06:18.000 Like him and I, if I saw him on the street, I would go like this.

00:06:22.000 And then he would nod back like, how stoned?

00:06:25.000 He'd probably want to know before he nods back.

00:06:26.000 And I go, we smoked like two joints.

00:06:29.000 I was there, dude.

00:06:32.000 Like, I had a bad acid trip.

00:06:34.000 Bullets are whizzing by my head.

00:06:37.000 Actually, I heard that the opening from Saving Private Ryan caused PTSD.

00:06:42.000 Wow.

00:06:43.000 Like, it traumatized.

00:06:44.000 My grandfather can't watch war movies.

00:06:48.000 Your grandfather can't watch war movies.

00:06:50.000 Certain war movies.

00:06:51.000 Some of the old 50s ones you could watch.

00:06:53.000 But he's a Vietnam vet, right?

00:06:56.000 I see it.

00:06:56.000 Look, I don't know about war, obviously.

00:06:58.000 And when we make jokes like this, I'm not trying to trivialize soldiers.

00:07:01.000 In fact, it's an homage to what a coward I am and how incredibly brave they are.

00:07:06.000 I hope that message always comes through.

00:07:08.000 But we should be allowed to just sort of conject.

00:07:13.000 And would you say, is it possible that Vietnam was like a never-ending D-Day in the jungle?

00:07:21.000 I couldn't imagine it.

00:07:22.000 I mean, you know, because you don't know where the hell they are.

00:07:25.000 And that's that to stop the boats getting too close?

00:07:29.000 Yeah, so that way they have to swim to shore or something like that, right?

00:07:31.000 Right.

00:07:32.000 And then that way there's easy targets right there.

00:07:35.000 Just slows them down.

00:07:36.000 Well, that's what they were.

00:07:36.000 I wonder how many men died on D-Day.

00:07:38.000 Sheesh.

00:07:39.000 Let me look that up because you're a fucking slowpoke guy.

00:07:40.000 Well, we're also watching a film, so I mean...

00:07:49.000 Half a million Allied and German troops killed.

00:07:56.000 209,000 Allied casualties, 37,000 dead amongst the ground forces, and a further 16,000 deaths amongst the Allied air forces.

00:08:05.000 Turn it up.

00:08:10.000 You think D-Day was bad?

00:08:12.000 Try this.

00:08:12.000 Stoned.

00:08:13.000 This scene causes PTSD, so for all our veterans watching, here's some of it.

00:08:18.000 What the fuck?

00:08:19.000 There's no World War II veterans watching this, you dimwit.

00:08:23.000 But it's still combat.

00:08:25.000 Yeah, I think Vietnam vets can watch this.

00:08:32.000 I didn't realize there were so many Air Force deaths.

00:08:35.000 16,000 deaths among the Allied Air Forces.

00:08:39.000 You always think of the beach.

00:08:43.000 200,000 Allied casualties.

00:08:47.000 The dead that you see on the ground, I hate to use the word only, but was only 37,000 out of half a million?

00:08:56.000 Well, the Heffernlands, including the Germans. 1.00

00:08:58.000 Hmm.

00:08:59.000 So I don't want to say...

00:09:05.000 Wait a minute.

00:09:06.000 What the fuck is going on here?

00:09:08.000 The Allied casualty figures for DDA have generally been estimated at 10,000.

00:09:13.000 Am I retarded?

00:09:14.000 This is terrible.

00:09:15.000 What kind of show practice is this?

00:09:16.000 But then it says...

00:09:24.000 Over 425.

00:09:26.000 I'm getting some disparate numbers here.

00:09:28.000 We'll get to the bottom of it.

00:09:33.000 What are the odds of surviving D-Day?

00:09:36.000 How many U.S. soldiers died D-Day?

00:09:39.000 6,000 Americans were killed on D-Day.

00:09:41.000 All right, this is...

00:09:46.000 I apologize.

00:09:46.000 We're a shitty show, but we have to get to the bottom of this because we're getting numbers from 10,000 to 400,000.

00:09:52.000 It says 6,000.

00:09:54.000 Oh, was I saying casualties?

00:09:56.000 No, killed.

00:09:57.000 Killed or wounded.

00:09:58.000 Allied and German troops killed.

00:10:00.000 And there couldn't have been that many Germans, right? 0.86

00:10:02.000 They were just picking us off.

00:10:03.000 Yeah.

00:10:06.000 In April and May 1944, the Allied air forces lost nearly 12,000 men and over 2,000 aircraft.

00:10:13.000 The Allied casualty figures for D-Day have generally estimated 10,000, including 2,500 dead.

00:10:18.000 Broken down by nationality, the usual D-Day casualty figures approximately 2,700 British, 946 Canadians, 6,000 Americans.

00:10:26.000 However, painstaking research by the U.S. National D-Day Memorial Foundation has achieved a more accurate and much higher figure for the Allied personnel who are killed on D-Day.

00:10:34.000 They've recorded the names of individual Allied personnel killed on June 6th, 1944 in Operation Overlord, and so far they've verified 2,499 American casualties and 1,915 from other Allied nations, a total of 4,000 dead.

00:10:50.000 So what was I, just reading a typo?

00:10:52.000 Jesus, Gavin, that's embarrassing.

00:10:54.000 And on Veterans Day.

00:10:57.000 4,000 to 9,000 German casualties on that day.

00:11:01.000 Oh, so we were pretty much tied because we have 4,000 dead.

00:11:06.000 It says Allies, this is right here.

00:11:08.000 It says Allied casualties were documented for at least 10,000 with 4,414 confirmed dead.

00:11:15.000 Yeah.

00:11:16.000 I don't know where the fuck we got that 425,000 thing from.

00:11:20.000 Sorry about that.

00:11:21.000 Ignoramus.

00:11:23.000 We learned together.

00:11:24.000 Yes.

00:11:26.000 So it was a 9-11.

00:11:29.000 I mean, it was in many ways much worse, but not a trivial event by any means.

00:11:37.000 So I saw this video of a D-Day vet, a man who was there in what they're depicting, and he went off on a tangent about free speech.

00:11:47.000 And it's a very compelling and shocking moment that I think is relevant to this show.

00:11:52.000 All of it comes back to me.

00:11:54.000 It's very emotional because so many died for nothing.

00:11:59.000 And how do you think about the fact that now, 74, 75 years later, we still remember and pay attention to what freedom means.

00:12:08.000 So the journalist isn't taking the bait.

00:12:10.000 He doesn't want to say what he's just heard.

00:12:13.000 So he changes it to sort of self-accolades to saying, how do you feel about 74, 75 years later, we're still talking about it?

00:12:22.000 What would you like, a thank you from him?

00:12:25.000 Thank you for remembering it.

00:12:26.000 So he's coaching the old, oh, the stupid old man.

00:12:30.000 He's coaching him to say something like, well, it was a big event, and I'm thankful that people still remember it.

00:12:36.000 But it shows you how consequential.

00:12:38.000 That's not what he's saying.

00:12:39.000 Listen with your ear holes there, you fucking boomer. 0.81

00:12:44.000 He said that the 4,000 that died that day died for nothing.

00:12:49.000 So it was murder.

00:12:50.000 His friends were murdered.

00:12:52.000 And why does he say it was for nothing?

00:12:54.000 Because we don't have free speech in this country.

00:12:56.000 So those men died so we could be free.

00:12:58.000 We're not free.

00:12:59.000 So Those men died for nothing.

00:13:01.000 That's what he just said.

00:13:02.000 And you just ignore it?

00:13:03.000 Because you think he's some dumb old man?

00:13:06.000 Journalists should have empathy if they want to do their job correctly.

00:13:09.000 They should like people, they shouldn't see people as below them.

00:13:12.000 But you see this so common, so much in Britain, especially with an accent like that old man has. 0.98

00:13:16.000 He's got an East London, Croydon working-class accent.

00:13:19.000 And you just get this patronizing tone from the media class over there.

00:13:23.000 And by the way, I don't like when people separate Britain and Canada and America.

00:13:28.000 We all have the same bullshit problems.

00:13:30.000 They're about five years more down the line with this bullshit, as Ezra Levant says, their dystopian time machine, where you can see where we'll be in five years.

00:13:37.000 But we're headed there.

00:13:42.000 Means, what do you think about that?

00:13:43.000 Well, we ain't exactly got a load of freedom.

00:13:46.000 If I said half what I'd like to say, I'd be arrested.

00:13:50.000 But I've got a medal here from the Americans.

00:13:54.000 That is the American Peace Medal.

00:13:56.000 And it says on there, freedom of speech.

00:14:00.000 But you can't say what you mean or mean what you say.

00:14:03.000 That's the trouble.

00:14:04.000 There's no real freedom.

00:14:06.000 You're tied up with laws and rules that other silly buggers make, particularly politicians.

00:14:14.000 But still we have to inform the youth about liberation, about what happened.

00:14:19.000 That's very important.

00:14:20.000 Well, they didn't do much of that in England.

00:14:23.000 Not very many people heard about that.

00:14:25.000 D-Day land is there.

00:14:26.000 They don't teach them any.

00:14:27.000 I had to go around the schools and talk to them about it.

00:14:31.000 I've been to many schools and spent some very happy hours with the children.

00:14:36.000 But they're very difficult to...

00:14:47.000 Oh, there's no words to explain murder, because that's what it was.

00:14:54.000 Whoa.

00:14:55.000 So, that plays well with this Katie Hopkins video, where she made a comment about Muslim pedophile gangs.

00:15:04.000 You know, the people we fought against.

00:15:06.000 The Muslims were in bed with the Nazis in World War II.

00:15:10.000 The North African, the war took, much of the war was in North Africa.

00:15:14.000 We had, there was entire divisions where they had those stupid Shriner hats with the swastika on them. 1.00

00:15:20.000 They were our enemies.

00:15:21.000 And now we let them rape our children all over England.

00:15:25.000 And Katie Hopkins dared to point that out.

00:15:28.000 And the authorities came.

00:15:30.000 So why did this man lose 4,000 of his fellow men?

00:15:35.000 Just go to the video.

00:15:36.000 Yeah.

00:15:38.000 This is the Western world that that man almost died for.

00:15:43.000 I wanted to update you with a couple of things that have been going on behind the scenes in my world.

00:15:49.000 Police officers were dispatched to an address they believe to be mine from West Yorkshire.

00:15:55.000 My crime, as they see it, was reporting on the majority Pakistani Muslim grooming gang who have just appeared in Leeds Crown Court. 0.96

00:16:05.000 I reported information that was already in the public domain.

00:16:09.000 I reported information that had already been produced and reproduced by a major national newspaper together with names and photographs.

00:16:18.000 And I posted information without personal comment.

00:16:22.000 However, I was told that if I did not remove the information that I had posted, that I would be referred and a failure to comply with their demands would mean I would be referred to the Attorney General under Section 4 of the Contempt of Court Act.

00:16:38.000 And of course, the gentleman behind all of this and West Yorkshire Police coming to an address they believe to be mine was Judge Marson.

00:16:47.000 Now you remember his name perhaps.

00:16:49.000 He's the same judge that threw Tommy Robinson in prison for contempt of court without due process, something that was overturned on appeal.

00:17:00.000 So it's that same judge that then sent police officers from West Yorkshire Police to come to an address they believe to be mine to try to intimidate me and to force me to remove the post that I had made reporting information already in the public domain.

00:17:16.000 Those men in court have now been found guilty of the sexual assault and abuse of our young white girls.

00:17:23.000 Six of them were jailed and actually as it turns out one of those men has absconded.

00:17:29.000 He has eight years in jail.

00:17:30.000 He is not in jail because he's absconded to Pakistan and I suppose there is the madness of my country right now where our young white girls are being raped, where the men who are doing the rapes are able to escape without going to jail and yet I'm the one with police officers showing up threatening me with contempt of court from a judge who already threw someone in jail without following due process.

00:17:54.000 These are truly crazy times.

00:17:56.000 Now one thing I'm not clear of there, it sounds like she's talking about two cases.

00:18:00.000 The Pakistani, the man who absconded to Pakistan and isn't serving his sentence, that guy was one of the guys Tommy was exposing.

00:18:10.000 So that guy didn't do prison time for raping a girl, yet Tommy did prison time for embarrassing him.

00:18:17.000 Don't embarrass child rapists is the message we're getting here.

00:18:21.000 Isn't that incredible?

00:18:23.000 Just like Max and John up in Ulster prison right now.

00:18:28.000 They get four years for a consensual fight, and the judge, that same judge, allowed a rabbi to rape eight children. 0.92

00:18:36.000 And the sentence ended up being three months.

00:18:39.000 He'd already served something like seven, and it was 10, and there was something wrong with the trial.

00:18:45.000 Maybe they embarrassed the rabbi or they weren't kind enough to him during the trial or they dotted a T and crossed an I. But yeah, he got under a year, I believe, total time for raping children.

00:18:59.000 So we have two cases of children being raped with no punishment and men being punished for standing up for themselves, for being men.

00:19:12.000 Under the auspices of it's racism, it's Nazis, we have to stop the Nazis. 0.59

00:19:18.000 I feel like that's what that French journalist was getting at too.

00:19:21.000 He said, we have to teach the children about liberty.

00:19:24.000 I think he was saying we have to teach the world about fighting Nazis.

00:19:27.000 They don't give a shit about fighting Nazis.

00:19:29.000 Nazi Is a new word for my enemy.

00:19:32.000 And it's an effective way to control people.

00:19:35.000 So do what I say, or I'm going to call you racist.

00:19:37.000 And as we learned from Jeffrey Dahmer, the cannibal, who was petrified of being called a racist, though he happily admitted he was a cannibal, being called racist is the worst thing imaginable.

00:19:46.000 So people just make it up.

00:19:48.000 Have you met a racist?

00:19:50.000 Have you hung out with an anti-Semite who genuinely despises Jews?

00:19:55.000 It's pretty fucking rare.

00:19:57.000 And if you bring it up in public, everyone gasps because it's so esoteric.

00:20:02.000 But anyway, this is my last mention of Britain.

00:20:04.000 I know it's weird to be talking about Britain so much on Veterans Day in America.

00:20:11.000 But this just came out on Summit.news, my new favorite news site.

00:20:14.000 UK National Health Service to deny treatment to racists and sexists.

00:20:21.000 What?

00:20:23.000 What, what, what?

00:20:24.000 So you go to the ER, they look you up, and if you have a history of racism or sexism, you bleed to death.

00:20:31.000 Does that sound reasonable to you?

00:20:33.000 This is relevant for two reasons.

00:20:35.000 One, the worst horrible racist Holocaust denier, bad guy that everyone says is everywhere, but it's only about 17 people, that vile piece of shit deserves to get medical treatment.

00:20:48.000 If a murderer is stabbed in prison, he deserves to be stitched up and cured.

00:20:55.000 Not pedophiles.

00:20:56.000 We all want them dead.

00:20:58.000 But even the worst members of our society deserve medical care outside of pedophiles and like, you know, serial rapists.

00:21:06.000 You know what I mean?

00:21:07.000 But the reason that this is truly disturbing is because I know their definition of racist and sexist is fucking horseshit.

00:21:15.000 I'm definitely a sexist, according to them.

00:21:18.000 I'm definitely a racist, according to them.

00:21:20.000 I'm bleeding to death.

00:21:21.000 So is Ryan.

00:21:22.000 So is Andrew Dice Clay.

00:21:24.000 So is Tommy Robinson.

00:21:26.000 So are most comedians.

00:21:29.000 When you look at who gets punished for this shit, it's never like a bona fide racist.

00:21:35.000 Like when, say you were wildly left-wing and you read that article, you'd probably go, good.

00:21:40.000 Now, I disagree with you, but I get what you're saying.

00:21:42.000 But what you don't realize is they're not getting David Duke.

00:21:44.000 They're not letting like some Klansman who sits there going, don't want to be touched by any Negroes. 1.00

00:21:50.000 I'd rather bleed to death.

00:21:52.000 Okay, fine.

00:21:52.000 Bleed to death, you bitter old man.

00:21:54.000 That's not the scenario.

00:21:56.000 The scenario is this is a threat, this new rule with the UK Health Department.

00:22:01.000 And it's saying, step at a line and you'll bleed to death.

00:22:05.000 Don't cross us. 0.99

00:22:06.000 We define racist.

00:22:07.000 We define sexist.

00:22:08.000 We define Islamophobe. 0.69

00:22:10.000 We define transphobe.

00:22:13.000 It's just as ABC News said, it's very aggressive to stand your ground.

00:22:19.000 If some nut bar Indian is pounding a drum in your face, some hack, and you just stand there smirking, you're going to bleed to death. 1.00

00:22:27.000 The only way to get out of this is in the future if they deem racism or any sort of unpopular thoughts like that like mental illness.

00:22:36.000 Where like racism with the what the hell's the matter?

00:22:40.000 I don't know.

00:22:45.000 What were you, Baba Booe? 1.00

00:22:47.000 He does that?

00:22:48.000 Yeah, Robin.

00:22:50.000 Yeah, but could you picture that, though?

00:22:52.000 What do you think about that?

00:22:52.000 Mental illness.

00:22:53.000 Racism is actually mental illness.

00:22:55.000 Sure.

00:22:56.000 I mean, no, it's not mental illness.

00:23:00.000 Well, first of all, there's two things with that goddamn allegation.

00:23:03.000 One is, is it true?

00:23:05.000 Two is, are you using it to just wield power over people?

00:23:08.000 Now, in situation one, there are a tiny sliver of people who have those crazy beliefs.

00:23:13.000 They deserve medical care, okay?

00:23:15.000 David Duke deserves medical care.

00:23:19.000 But more importantly, outside of that stupid sliver, they are denying Medicare.

00:23:24.000 They are tyrannically opposing and oppressing people they disagree with.

00:23:29.000 Look at Trump.

00:23:30.000 How many times is Trump called a white nationalist?

00:23:32.000 It's a very mainstream opinion.

00:23:34.000 In fact, I think we've got that with 1-2.

00:23:39.000 This annoying homo who does Larry O'Donnell's show, Kyle Griffin. 1.00

00:23:43.000 Really smug.

00:23:45.000 To the left, it's just a fact that Trump is a virulent racist.

00:23:49.000 Click on that one.

00:23:50.000 Yeah.

00:23:51.000 Trump voters will have to ask themselves whether it is possible to go on believing that he's a man of sufficient character to hold the presidency.

00:23:57.000 They will have to ask themselves what it means to overlook his racism and what this says about them.

00:24:03.000 So if you, no, not that one.

00:24:05.000 If you support Trump, you are a racist.

00:24:10.000 And that second headline, by the way, said Republican support for him rises after racially charged tweets.

00:24:16.000 It's the journalists that are defining racially charged.

00:24:19.000 So the subtext there is the more racist he gets, the more he's loved.

00:24:22.000 No, no.

00:24:23.000 That's things that you deem as racist.

00:24:24.000 Like when he said that the illegals coming over the border tend to disproportionately be rapists.

00:24:30.000 They're sending rapists. 0.99

00:24:31.000 They're rapists.

00:24:32.000 Yes, a disproportionate number of Mexican illegals are rapists. 1.00

00:24:35.000 He didn't say Mexicans are rapists. 0.65

00:24:40.000 But that guy, Kyle Griffin, by the way, he sort of summarizes how the left sees Trump and everyone who likes him as a racist and someone who should bleed to death.

00:24:48.000 But you know who his husband is?

00:24:51.000 Joel Mears.

00:24:54.000 And they are both activists.

00:24:56.000 Kyle Griffin uses his activism to write Lawrence O'Donnell's show where they pretend everything is Russia, Russia, Russia and try to thwart Trump.

00:25:04.000 Joel Mears is the editor of Rotten Tomatoes.

00:25:08.000 And he's the reason every time there's a woke movie that sucks, it has 100% Rotten Tomatoes and a 2% audience rating.

00:25:17.000 Conversely, when it's something controversial like Dave Chappelle, it has a terrible Rotten Tomatoes rating because Joel's in charge of that.

00:25:24.000 These people are activists and they are determined to thwart our freedom.

00:25:32.000 And they pose, what bothers me, though, is they pose as journalists.

00:25:35.000 At least Antifa, I'm starting to like Antifa more and more these days.

00:25:39.000 They don't want to press charges.

00:25:41.000 They tell the cops to fuck off.

00:25:42.000 They want to handle this themselves.

00:25:44.000 They don't take you to court.

00:25:46.000 They do try to get you fired.

00:25:48.000 But at least they fight their own battles.

00:25:52.000 And they say, I'm an activist.

00:25:54.000 I'm here to destroy you.

00:25:56.000 You're not covert.

00:25:58.000 Yeah, I'm not a harmless.

00:25:59.000 Like, Look at his Twitter profile.

00:26:01.000 I'm a harmless little cartoon with sad puppy dog eyes.

00:26:05.000 And I'm not here to affect anyone's life.

00:26:08.000 I'm not trying to brainwash anyone.

00:26:10.000 I don't have an agenda.

00:26:11.000 I'm just a guy who fell off his bike.

00:26:15.000 Whamp.

00:26:16.000 All right, let's get back to America here.

00:26:18.000 Trump did a speech today for Veterans Day that we maybe should have started with.

00:26:26.000 I wonder if Max is going to call.

00:26:28.000 Does your phone not ring?

00:26:29.000 My phone doesn't ring.

00:26:31.000 I'll be on it.

00:26:32.000 Did you got that little button?

00:26:34.000 Yeah, the ringer.

00:26:35.000 Yeah, it's up.

00:26:35.000 Is that up?

00:26:36.000 My ringer's on full.

00:26:38.000 I'll be on my phone and then I'll see a missed call.

00:26:40.000 That happens to me sometimes, but not often.

00:26:45.000 You're saying it happens often.

00:26:46.000 I'm 17, but she's probably not ready.

00:26:49.000 Would you have sex with a 17-year-old?

00:26:52.000 Is that legal?

00:26:53.000 What's the age of consent in New York?

00:26:53.000 I'm going to say.

00:26:56.000 I wouldn't want to.

00:26:58.000 There's plenty of options to not have weird, trivial sex where you're worried about.

00:27:03.000 It's just okay.

00:27:04.000 Yeah, it's 17.

00:27:06.000 Could you be like 100?

00:27:08.000 You know, they, you know, I just heard recently the girl from Stranger Think, she's 12, and they put on like the sexiest girl magazine or some crap like that.

00:27:18.000 Sexiest girl.

00:27:19.000 Stranger things.

00:27:21.000 She's only 17, so she's probably not ready.

00:27:24.000 A.M., A.M. No, good.

00:27:28.000 No, I don't want to.

00:27:29.000 17-year-olds look like 13-year-olds.

00:27:31.000 So you're weird.

00:27:33.000 Oh, yeah, Millie Bobby Brown.

00:27:35.000 What was she? 0.85

00:27:35.000 14? 0.85

00:27:37.000 They're so determined to empower everyone that they might as well just go up to a nine-year-old and say, sexiest, or like that, Desmond Amazing.

00:27:46.000 Sexiest girl in the world award goes to Desmond the Amazing, the sexiest 10-year-old girl who's a boy.

00:27:53.000 Dude, aren't there other people out there?

00:27:55.000 13-year-old.

00:27:57.000 I was thinking this about Ariana Grande.

00:27:59.000 I was looking at a picture of her in the paper the other day, and she had on her thigh-high boots with stiletto heels and her long, long hair.

00:28:07.000 And I was just like, something's...

00:28:12.000 Hey, it was that picture.

00:28:13.000 The one where she's wearing the fur suit and the purse.

00:28:16.000 Yeah, it was that from that series.

00:28:19.000 She's walking around New York.

00:28:20.000 See if you can find her whole body with that series.

00:28:24.000 You go to that series.

00:28:24.000 And then click it.

00:28:25.000 And then, yeah, and you're looking for the, on the right-hand side, it should be related images.

00:28:28.000 Oh, yeah, they're not related.

00:28:29.000 They're not there.

00:28:31.000 But maybe click on that.

00:28:32.000 And there's another one in that article?

00:28:38.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:28:40.000 Now look at that.

00:28:41.000 That checks all the boner boxes.

00:28:44.000 Right?

00:28:45.000 But then you look at her.

00:28:46.000 You know she's tiny. 1.00

00:28:48.000 And you look at her face and you go, that's my daughter's friend.

00:28:52.000 It's not ready yet.

00:28:52.000 Yeah.

00:28:53.000 Like, I think you're a fucking perv if you want to fuck Ariana. 1.00

00:28:56.000 It's like an uncooked pie.

00:28:58.000 It's like a little girl dressed up as like a Puerto Rican single mother whore for Halloween. 1.00

00:29:04.000 And she was a Disney star like, what, three years ago?

00:29:07.000 She's basically a tranny. 1.00

00:29:10.000 Yeah.

00:29:10.000 It's just not a very beautiful young lady.

00:29:13.000 Yeah, but there's nothing that kind of you can grip onto and be like, that's.

00:29:16.000 That's the word.

00:29:17.000 Yeah, grip onto.

00:29:18.000 There's just nothing there.

00:29:19.000 It's just like, it's kind of Desmond is amazing.

00:29:22.000 Kind of plasticky.

00:29:23.000 Yeah, it's a child dressed up as a woman. 0.76

00:29:26.000 She's a handsome young chick. 0.99

00:29:28.000 She's still a child.

00:29:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:30.000 Look at her frame. 0.93

00:29:31.000 How old is she? 0.98

00:29:32.000 She's not baked fully yet.

00:29:34.000 Let me see.

00:29:36.000 She was a Disney star.

00:29:38.000 26 years old.

00:29:39.000 Okay, that's old enough to be a woman. 1.00

00:29:42.000 But when you think of her, you think, wasn't she like a mousketeer or something?

00:29:47.000 Yeah, like a Disney check.

00:29:48.000 How about these weird...

00:29:52.000 There's all these pictures of her as a little girl, a little precocious young girl.

00:29:57.000 Oh, there she is at the Kids Choice Awards wearing stilettos with a little cartoon handbag. 0.98

00:30:04.000 This is getting kind of weird.

00:30:05.000 Like, say you were trying to train a pedophile.

00:30:08.000 You'd show pictures of a little girl, and then you'd show her more mature, but with thigh-high boots on.

00:30:15.000 And you're like, sexy, little girl.

00:30:17.000 Sexy little girl.

00:30:18.000 Are they blending together?

00:30:18.000 Get it now?

00:30:20.000 I remember there was this video called, it was a video for the macarina, and it's like, don't bada daddy, bada beddi macarina.

00:30:26.000 And they had these sexy chicks in like short shorts and stilettos. 1.00

00:30:30.000 And then it would juxtapose them to the same thing, but like six-year-old girls.

00:30:35.000 But like the black one had a black six-year-old and the white one was a white one.

00:30:39.000 I don't think that's it.

00:30:42.000 It was like five or six different girls. 0.92

00:30:45.000 And it was like, is this a pedophile training video?

00:30:50.000 Society is showing you Britney Spears with Mickey Mouse ears.

00:30:55.000 And they're saying, you like that?

00:30:56.000 You like that?

00:30:56.000 All right.

00:30:57.000 Well, now she's a sex pot. 1.00

00:30:58.000 Keep looking at her.

00:31:00.000 Keep looking at her.

00:31:01.000 I have a whole theory about everything, the way where media is going.

00:31:06.000 And I don't know if you noticed this, but only recently did they start saying, being able to say shit and fuck on TV.

00:31:12.000 And I remember that being cool.

00:31:13.000 And what they did was they Trojan horsed it in with South Park, a cartoon, because you're like, oh, cool.

00:31:18.000 And now it's just wild.

00:31:20.000 And now all the kids are just filthier than adults.

00:31:22.000 And they don't realize that.

00:31:23.000 So I'm talking about the degradation of society and how pedophilia is becoming normalized.

00:31:28.000 You're like, yeah, but people can swear.

00:31:29.000 They're trying to make kids be like, you can look at all this dirty stuff.

00:31:35.000 Everything is being marketed to kids.

00:31:36.000 I think that another thing that's happening is we're so scared of racism, sexism, Islamophobia that the only taboo left is children.

00:31:45.000 So we end up trivializing, you know, or what's a better word for this?

00:31:52.000 Exploiting?

00:31:53.000 Yeah, we end up exploiting them.

00:31:55.000 And when it's pulled out of context, I'll send you an example.

00:32:00.000 If an offensive joke about a kid that was sexual appeared and it was amidst a bunch of other totally offensive jokes, you just say, okay, well, I'm an offensive joke guy.

00:32:11.000 I guess I have an offensive joke feed.

00:32:14.000 But now that we don't have that, you see a weird child sex joke and it's not with anything else and it looks incongruous.

00:32:25.000 I mentioned this on a previous episode where I saw this SNL sketch.

00:32:28.000 Don't bother trying to find it.

00:32:29.000 But it was like, Kristen Wigg played this guy's mother.

00:32:31.000 I just texted you an important picture.

00:32:32.000 Texted?

00:32:33.000 Yeah.

00:32:33.000 Okay.

00:32:34.000 And they had a relationship that was like incestuous.

00:32:38.000 And you go, that's gross.

00:32:40.000 But if it was on a show that was just full of gross stuff and the whole show was like, hey, I'm a racist and I farted.

00:32:46.000 You go, I'm watching a raunchy show with all kinds of raunchy jokes.

00:32:49.000 But that's the only time they're offensive.

00:32:52.000 And it looks like you're watching this weird child porn network.

00:32:57.000 Why are you doing that?

00:33:00.000 And this was a tweet I saw.

00:33:02.000 I just sent it to Ryan Anna Dresen.

00:33:06.000 I don't know who that is.

00:33:06.000 Do you?

00:33:08.000 It looks like one of these mediocre new female comedians. 1.00

00:33:08.000 Not her. 1.00

00:33:11.000 She says, I bring my 18-year-old son to the doctor every year to have them check if he still has a gorgeous tight little beanhole.

00:33:18.000 What?

00:33:20.000 Now, you go through all the other jokes in that feed for comedians, and there's nothing else offensive.

00:33:27.000 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:33:28.000 Like, I'm not for censorship, but when you just have one area where you can be offensive, you gross us out.

00:33:38.000 Wait, are you trying to understand that?

00:33:40.000 Yeah, where's the funny in there?

00:33:42.000 Is it just like a shock?

00:33:44.000 Yeah, and she clearly doesn't have an 18-year-old son.

00:33:47.000 And maybe it's referring to a news item.

00:33:48.000 I don't know.

00:33:49.000 Anyway, sorry, let's start the show.

00:33:50.000 It doesn't look like...

00:33:55.000 We'll see.

00:33:56.000 Let's go back to Trump's speech.

00:33:58.000 Sorry.

00:33:58.000 This should have been the beginning of the show.

00:34:01.000 I also want to thank the Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation, which provides scholarships to children of our fallen heroes.

00:34:10.000 To every Gold Star family, we will stand by your side forever.

00:34:15.000 It is very fitting that the Veterans Day parade begin right here in New York City.

00:34:21.000 Since the earliest days of our nation, New York has exemplified the American spirit and has been at the heart of our nation's story of daring and defiance.

00:34:33.000 On July 2, 1776, the British Armada sailed into New York Harbor, numbering more than 400 ships and carrying more than 30,000 men.

00:34:46.000 The British came here to snuff out what they thought was just a minor American revolution.

00:34:53.000 Didn't turn out to be that way.

00:34:55.000 But the Redcoats did know, what they did know was they were going to have a problem, but they didn't know that New York would meet them with the fearsome power of American patriots. 0.75

00:35:09.000 Can you just pause?

00:35:10.000 Or is it over?

00:35:11.000 Yep.

00:35:12.000 It's interesting, too, that the Brits, their final solution back then was to burn down your house and kill your wife and kids. 0.53

00:35:20.000 Really?

00:35:21.000 Wow, that's brutal.

00:35:21.000 Yep.

00:35:22.000 They did that with the South Africans in, what was it, 1800 when they took over South Africa.

00:35:29.000 And the South Africans were kicking their ass. 0.99

00:35:33.000 They were mobile.

00:35:36.000 They'd go to Germany and buy the latest guns.

00:35:38.000 And the Brits were so top-heavy back then, they would bring actual workout gyms with them, giant kitchen tents, and they'd build a little village.

00:35:46.000 Meanwhile, the Boers would just jump on their horse, shoot everyone, and then vanish into the night.

00:35:51.000 And so they were losing.

00:35:52.000 And then Churchill's boys said, all right, let's put in Operation Worst Humans Alive, Operation Nightmare.

00:36:00.000 And so they killed all the women and children that were waiting back home for their Boer husbands. 1.00

00:36:08.000 And it worked.

00:36:08.000 It demoralized the men and they crushed them.

00:36:10.000 They did the same to the Americans in the 1700s.

00:36:16.000 And it didn't work.

00:36:19.000 America is unique that way.

00:36:20.000 They said, you're going to fucking kill my family?

00:36:23.000 Then they get into punisher mode.

00:36:25.000 And instead of them being demoralized, it made them more ruthless.

00:36:29.000 And that's when they were able to overpower the English. 0.79

00:36:32.000 The English played dirty pool.

00:36:34.000 And Americans are a unique country.

00:36:36.000 Maybe because it takes a lot of grit to get over here.

00:36:39.000 I'm not trivializing the boars.

00:36:41.000 But it takes a lot of grit to get here and survive the Indians and survive the climate. 1.00

00:36:46.000 So when they started kicking at this wounded dog, it started snarling and it bit their head off.

00:36:51.000 I'm dead!

00:36:54.000 Dead!

00:36:54.000 Oh!

00:36:55.000 Brrrr! 0.98

00:36:58.000 That was a noble war.

00:36:59.000 How many died there?

00:37:03.000 You know.

00:37:05.000 Death's Revolutionary War was 6,800 Americans killed in action, 6,100 wounded, and upwards of 20,000 were taken prisoner.

00:37:16.000 Historians believe that an additional 17,000 deaths were the result of disease, including about 8,000 to 12,000 who died while prisoners of war.

00:37:23.000 Well, yeah, they put them on these barges.

00:37:25.000 I'm sorry to be rubbing my nose like this.

00:37:27.000 Ryan swept the studio before we started, turned the whole thing into dust particles.

00:37:31.000 So we're sitting here sneezing and itching our eyes.

00:37:34.000 Yeah.

00:37:35.000 Trying to survive this.

00:37:37.000 It's the least discomfort we could put ourselves through to try to.

00:37:41.000 Yeah, you think fighting the American Revolution was bad.

00:37:45.000 You think World War I was bad.

00:37:46.000 Try having an itchy nose.

00:37:47.000 Casualties two.

00:37:49.000 Strongest two you ever seen.

00:37:52.000 Is that all we have for that war stuff?

00:37:55.000 Oh, I did want to add.

00:37:56.000 Everyone shits on Trump for not going to Vietnam.

00:37:59.000 Oh, he dodged the draft in Vietnam.

00:38:01.000 Isn't that such a weird insult?

00:38:03.000 Because you think Vietnam was D-Day in the jungle, and now you're a pussy if you weren't there. 0.99

00:38:10.000 It was like your grandfather still can't talk about it.

00:38:14.000 It was so horrific.

00:38:15.000 They would call in airstrikes on themselves because they were so close to the enemy.

00:38:20.000 They would say, you know, the coordinates basically here.

00:38:22.000 And I'll just jump backwards when I hear the bombs drop.

00:38:27.000 Yeah, and I don't know.

00:38:31.000 Here's the thing, it's like they fight for the freedom to be just kind of a guy who's in America doing what Trump does.

00:38:37.000 The freedom to do that, you know?

00:38:39.000 So as long as you respect the soldiers fighting for that.

00:38:43.000 That's another curious thing where they have people, comedians and liberals going, actually, you know what?

00:38:48.000 I don't support the troops.

00:38:49.000 Fuck the troops.

00:38:50.000 Someone who signs up to do that for a living to go kill innocent people.

00:38:53.000 Okay, so what scenario, again, it always comes back to this.

00:38:57.000 What scenario are you suggesting?

00:38:59.000 We don't Have an army at all, like you said.

00:39:02.000 No borders, right?

00:39:03.000 Now, if there's an invasion, we have no army, and you don't want us to have guns.

00:39:07.000 So, what do we have?

00:39:09.000 And you hate the police, oink, oink, you monsters. 1.00

00:39:13.000 We still got to make that t-shirt.

00:39:15.000 Uh, we've talked about this.

00:39:16.000 That one I don't remember.

00:39:17.000 You don't know what I'm talking about?

00:39:18.000 Oink, oink you monsters. 1.00

00:39:20.000 Oh my god, maybe we didn't talk about on the show.

00:39:22.000 That one I'm not, I'm really this we're not.

00:39:24.000 I'm obsessed.

00:39:25.000 And every time I see a cop, I show them this picture.

00:39:29.000 They never laugh, too.

00:39:30.000 Maybe they don't trust me and they think I'm about to throw a milkshake on them or something.

00:39:35.000 But there was a massive protest in Brooklyn when the MTA decided they'd had enough of turnstile jumping.

00:39:41.000 Oh, yes.

00:39:42.000 Right?

00:39:45.000 Here it is.

00:39:46.000 You prefer email, right?

00:39:48.000 Yes.

00:39:53.000 And so they said that became the police are just terrorizing black people.

00:39:59.000 And AOC said, the reason they're jumping the turnstile is because they can't afford the subway to get to work.

00:40:06.000 You dicks.

00:40:08.000 And also, de Blasio made it not a thing.

00:40:12.000 You could just go ahead and do that and poo-poo in the streets. 0.89

00:40:16.000 So I go, what's your scenario?

00:40:16.000 Right.

00:40:20.000 The MTA is free.

00:40:22.000 No civilians have guns.

00:40:24.000 And there's no military.

00:40:26.000 Like, what country doesn't have a military?

00:40:29.000 Some stupid fake country like Switzerland or like Nepal or something. 0.63

00:40:34.000 America's not going to have a military?

00:40:36.000 So once you concede that America has to have a military, then how can you not see the bravery of the men signing up?

00:40:43.000 And then you also want to get rid of guns.

00:40:45.000 So the people aren't even armed themselves.

00:40:47.000 You admit that they have to have a military.

00:40:49.000 You know that it's very brave to be willing to die for your job.

00:40:54.000 I'm not willing to die to come here and do this show.

00:40:57.000 Well, almost.

00:40:58.000 I am.

00:41:00.000 And then you still call them, you still don't revere them.

00:41:03.000 Like, you understand that soldiers don't sit there at the board meetings going, can I say something, Captain?

00:41:09.000 What about if we invade Afghanistan?

00:41:12.000 Do you want to try that?

00:41:13.000 Right.

00:41:15.000 So have you never seen this photograph?

00:41:16.000 It's one of my, Okay, here we go.

00:41:22.000 Free speech t-shirt.

00:41:24.000 All right.

00:41:25.000 So there's wonderful things in this.

00:41:27.000 The only least uninteresting thing is in the foreground.

00:41:29.000 Poverty is not a crime.

00:41:30.000 Yes, that's true, lady.

00:41:32.000 But jumping turnstiles is.

00:41:35.000 But this is my favorite.

00:41:36.000 Zoom in on the bottom right there.

00:41:38.000 Oink, oink, you monster. 1.00

00:41:42.000 And she's crying.

00:41:44.000 A rich white girl. 1.00

00:41:46.000 Look at the dumb white girl with the blood. 1.00

00:41:48.000 I mean, the Crips bandana on.

00:41:50.000 You know that you're calling bloods pussies when you wear that color around your neck, don't you? 0.60

00:41:56.000 Anyway, she's got, she sat there on a piece of two inch by two inch cardboard and wrote, oink, oink, you monsters. 0.84

00:42:07.000 Then she's holding it up and crying.

00:42:14.000 Oink, oink is probably the cutest onomatopoeia duplicate. 1.00

00:42:17.000 Oink, oink, you monsters. 1.00

00:42:19.000 There's so much going on with this photo.

00:42:21.000 Like, imagine a cop seeing that and going, fuck.

00:42:26.000 Yeah.

00:42:26.000 Fuck you.

00:42:29.000 Oink, oink. 0.75

00:42:30.000 That's a pig reference, isn't it?

00:42:33.000 But also imagine going to a rally with a sign this big.

00:42:37.000 You packed your sign?

00:42:38.000 It's in my pocket.

00:42:38.000 Yep.

00:42:38.000 Where is it?

00:42:40.000 Okay.

00:42:41.000 What are you going to hold it up?

00:42:43.000 Yeah.

00:42:44.000 I'm going to be crying, so I'll have that.

00:42:46.000 And then this picture is the gift that keeps on giving.

00:42:49.000 If you look in the background, we see a sign that says, make the MTA free.

00:42:57.000 Just make it free.

00:42:58.000 Free subway.

00:43:01.000 The sandwich chain subway should also be free.

00:43:05.000 $3 foot long.

00:43:07.000 And this goes back, by the way, to the British Health Service saying, I don't want racists.

00:43:11.000 This is all about power.

00:43:13.000 So the MTA is free.

00:43:15.000 School is free.

00:43:16.000 Healthcare is free.

00:43:17.000 Who controls it?

00:43:18.000 The government.

00:43:19.000 I'll be your mommy.

00:43:20.000 I'll feed you.

00:43:21.000 I'll decide what you get.

00:43:22.000 If you oppose me, you'll get less.

00:43:25.000 I'll call you a racist.

00:43:26.000 And then you'll bleed to death or you won't get food or you won't be able to ride the subway.

00:43:32.000 I mean, we had the Amtrak cancel Milo's ticket.

00:43:37.000 We had to cause a stink to get it back.

00:43:40.000 All right.

00:43:44.000 I wanted to get to this.

00:43:48.000 Yeah, there's nothing too pressing right now.

00:43:50.000 Oh, there's all those videos I sent you.

00:43:52.000 Shit.

00:43:53.000 So much, so much to cover.

00:43:55.000 Let's just, maybe we could cover that tomorrow.

00:43:58.000 Let's, I've been working on some inventions, and I don't have time to pursue these.

00:44:04.000 I don't want to start a new career as an inventor.

00:44:06.000 So I've decided it would be generous to give them to you.

00:44:11.000 I am about to give you 15 free inventions that I came up with off the dome.

00:44:17.000 I'll explain to you why they're relevant.

00:44:19.000 It's basically like I'm sending you to Shark Tank with a great idea, and it's up to you to take it from here.

00:44:24.000 And I'm not going to sue you when you make a billion dollars with these.

00:44:27.000 Go nuts.

00:44:28.000 Ladies and gentlemen, 15 free inventions.

00:44:31.000 15 free inventions.

00:44:40.000 15 free inventions.

00:44:42.000 These are a gift to you.

00:44:44.000 Wait, why'd you say 10 free inventions?

00:44:46.000 On the card?

00:44:47.000 Yeah, there's 15 here.

00:44:48.000 No, some of them aren't.

00:44:51.000 You're contesting my inventions?

00:44:51.000 Well, you'll see.

00:44:54.000 Yeah, I mean, some of them are very close to things that might exist.

00:44:57.000 Wow.

00:44:58.000 You want a jump frog?

00:44:59.000 Jump.

00:45:00.000 I don't know what that means, but yeah, I'll jump.

00:45:02.000 I appreciate the nuts.

00:45:03.000 You got nuts, kid.

00:45:04.000 Thanks.

00:45:04.000 You got nuts.

00:45:05.000 The Italians call it Moxie.

00:45:07.000 These inventions, I'm not going to sue you when you invent them.

00:45:11.000 You will make tons of money.

00:45:12.000 They are brilliant ideas that I have had.

00:45:15.000 And I don't want to put the money down and get the trademark and go through all that crap.

00:45:21.000 I don't have time for that shit.

00:45:23.000 So you have to get the venture capital.

00:45:24.000 I'm not funding it, by the way.

00:45:25.000 Don't ask me for any money.

00:45:27.000 And I've already invented a bunch of stuff.

00:45:29.000 I'm done with inventings, But I still have an inventor's brain.

00:45:31.000 So I'm passing these on to you as a gift.

00:45:35.000 All right.

00:45:35.000 Number one.

00:45:36.000 You're like a shark tank cuck.

00:45:38.000 This is a free shark tank cuck.

00:45:40.000 I'm like shark tank Santa.

00:45:42.000 Cuck.

00:45:42.000 Oh my a cuck.

00:45:44.000 Because you're watching other people pitch your inventions.

00:45:47.000 Yeah.

00:45:47.000 Whatever.

00:45:50.000 You're really sassy today.

00:45:52.000 Yeah.

00:45:53.000 When it comes to inventions, you know.

00:45:54.000 Number one, this place in history.

00:45:57.000 It's an app for your phone.

00:46:00.000 And what you do is, you know how there's those, I was going to say astrology apps.

00:46:06.000 Astronomy apps.

00:46:07.000 Not girls, boys. 0.99

00:46:09.000 Where you can lie down in your backyard at night and you shine your phone up and it tells you what all the constellations are.

00:46:18.000 Oops.

00:46:20.000 What the fuck are you doing?

00:46:21.000 You just disappeared.

00:46:22.000 Hold on, one second.

00:46:25.000 Well done.

00:46:27.000 Your arrogance seems really justified.

00:46:30.000 Arrogance.

00:46:31.000 So yeah, it tells you what the planets are, what the stars are, what the constellations are.

00:46:37.000 And if it's any constellation, I don't know a lot of them either.

00:46:43.000 And you can move your phone all over the place, and it automatically maps where you're going.

00:46:46.000 Play that video.

00:46:48.000 Has everyone seen this before?

00:46:50.000 I mean, it's not great for us city folks because we rarely see the stars, but for the rest of the people out there, we don't need the audio.

00:46:57.000 I just think it would be nice if it was moving.

00:47:00.000 For some reason, they kept it on a pause here.

00:47:04.000 Really?

00:47:04.000 Nothing moves here.

00:47:05.000 Yeah.

00:47:06.000 This guy's got a lame video.

00:47:08.000 Huh.

00:47:09.000 Anyway, so it's that, but you're in New York and you scan it down.

00:47:13.000 Like I went to Aldo's Shoes on Broadway because Bill the Butcher was killed there.

00:47:17.000 And I told the people at Aldo, I go, did you know Bill the Butcher died here?

00:47:19.000 And they go, I don't like that.

00:47:21.000 We don't care.

00:47:22.000 It was the manager.

00:47:23.000 And I guess she didn't want tourists coming by and wasting her time.

00:47:25.000 I kind of get where she's coming from.

00:47:27.000 She was like, shut up.

00:47:28.000 I don't want people to know.

00:47:30.000 But Ryan claims there's a problem with this investment.

00:47:33.000 Wait, let me finish it before you poo-poo it. 1.00

00:47:36.000 So there's a Gangster New York tour on your phone.

00:47:39.000 And you look at a topographical map and you can see like where the Know-Nothings were, where the Bowery boys were, what the various TERFs were.

00:47:49.000 And then you can go to the spot where this guy died or this battle was.

00:47:52.000 And then there's a separate one for jazz.

00:47:55.000 And you have a topographical map and it shows you where Louis Armstrong got in a fist fight with Clarence Clements.

00:48:02.000 I don't know anything about jazz.

00:48:04.000 Nor should anyone.

00:48:05.000 And all the photography, whatever you want.

00:48:08.000 There's different apps for different things.

00:48:10.000 And you just shine your phone around.

00:48:12.000 And it could even show you what the building looked like back when Bill the Butcher was killed.

00:48:19.000 So throughout history, it'll show you what stuff looks like.

00:48:22.000 Yes.

00:48:23.000 Well, this is the Freedom Tower elevator.

00:48:26.000 So it takes you up.

00:48:27.000 It shows you when it was merely grasslands and swamplands.

00:48:30.000 Real estate was much cheaper then, obviously.

00:48:32.000 A couple beads.

00:48:33.000 We bought that for some beads and $14, but that was a fuck ton of money back then.

00:48:38.000 And there's no evidence that the Indians we bought Manhattan from owned Manhattan. 0.88

00:48:42.000 They may have just been passing through and they went, thanks for the $14.

00:48:46.000 And so now they're going through the history of built.

00:48:53.000 That's okay, that is a lot of my idea.

00:48:56.000 But my idea is more about this location, this happened.

00:49:02.000 But all right, fine.

00:49:03.000 Someone's thought of that before.

00:49:04.000 You have some building blocks.

00:49:06.000 You may have to talk to the Freedom Tower people about copyrights.

00:49:10.000 So that one's crossed out.

00:49:11.000 Number two, I was going to call this the child safety feature filter, sorry, but that's confusing.

00:49:20.000 It's basically a no kids hurt filter.

00:49:22.000 I don't like children in peril.

00:49:25.000 I hate it and it ruins my day.

00:49:27.000 Like this story, some kid fell down a well and died.

00:49:30.000 A three-year-old was trapped there for three days.

00:49:34.000 That cripples my soul.

00:49:35.000 That makes me feel like someone has shearing scissors and they're cutting from the inside of my body up my rib cage and then I'm in pain all day.

00:49:43.000 I don't want to know that.

00:49:44.000 It's in Spain.

00:49:46.000 So I want there to be a filter on my phone.

00:49:48.000 Actually, can you get that off?

00:49:50.000 I want there to be a filter on my phone where if I go to dailymail.uk or whatever and there's some baby found in a dumpster or something, that's just gray.

00:50:01.000 I don't want to know.

00:50:02.000 And I hate it in movies too.

00:50:03.000 Like Manchester by the Sea starts out with dead children that died in a house fire and we see their charred bodies being put in an ambulance because a log rolled out of the fireplace onto the carpet.

00:50:15.000 How many times does that happen?

00:50:16.000 What family with kids doesn't have a fire guard in front of their fireplace?

00:50:20.000 Anyway, I don't like it in movies, but I can look it up first and make sure I don't see those movies, but I hate it in news, so get it out of my news.

00:50:28.000 But you go, Gavin, what about patterns like these drag queen story hours for kids or these hormone blockers they're giving kids to prevent trans kids from going through puberty? 0.76

00:50:40.000 That's a war on children you need to know about.

00:50:42.000 Yes.

00:50:43.000 If it is indicative of a pattern, then yes, do include it in my newsfeed.

00:50:48.000 But if it's some freak accident or freak sicko that did something horrible to a baby or a child in another part of the world or even in Florida, I don't want to hear about it.

00:50:58.000 Please invent that filter.

00:51:00.000 And that one has not been invented.

00:51:02.000 That's correct.

00:51:03.000 That's mine.

00:51:04.000 All right, so that's essentially number one, but we'll go with the original numbering system.

00:51:07.000 Number three, fight consent app.

00:51:11.000 Now, because we live in the least romantic time possibly in history, when two young people want to get together, they dig up their phones and it says, we will be screwing now.

00:51:21.000 And I guess you click up various boxes.

00:51:24.000 Like, what about, is there an anal box or an oral? 0.52

00:51:27.000 Shall we do 69s?

00:51:29.000 No, I'm not checking the 69 box.

00:51:32.000 And then you sign it or click on it, whatever.

00:51:34.000 Okay, fine.

00:51:36.000 I'm not horny anymore, but fine.

00:51:38.000 But what about the same thing for fights?

00:51:41.000 Two guys don't like each other.

00:51:43.000 They want to take it outside.

00:51:44.000 They don't want to get arrested.

00:51:45.000 They don't want to go to jail.

00:51:46.000 They don't want to get sued.

00:51:47.000 You look at Max and John in prison right now for four years for fighting Antifa.

00:51:52.000 Voluntary fight.

00:51:53.000 Both sides wanted to do that.

00:51:56.000 And now one side, even though the Antifa side said, fuck off, pig, One side is in prison for four years.

00:52:01.000 They wouldn't have had as easy of a case if there was an app that Antifa had signed saying, Yes, let's do this.

00:52:08.000 The mods and the rockers in Brighton Beaches were voluntarily fighting.

00:52:12.000 No one got in trouble because it was consensual.

00:52:15.000 So I want a fight app that says, Let's do this.

00:52:18.000 Although it's going to be weird because we're now going from, you want to step outside to, you want me to get the app?

00:52:21.000 I'll load it up.

00:52:22.000 It's loading up right now.

00:52:23.000 Here it is.

00:52:23.000 Oh, I got updated.

00:52:24.000 Okay, hold up.

00:52:25.000 Updating the app?

00:52:26.000 Yeah, as soon as that updates, it's going down.

00:52:28.000 You're helping each other?

00:52:29.000 No, no, dude, it's that button.

00:52:31.000 Yeah.

00:52:31.000 You see the update.

00:52:32.000 No, no, that's not on the main menu anymore.

00:52:34.000 You know, you can sign up with your Touch ID, right?

00:52:36.000 Here.

00:52:37.000 I didn't know that.

00:52:38.000 No, this is what you do.

00:52:39.000 And then you can go right to the consent form without, you skip the intro here.

00:52:42.000 Yeah, there you go.

00:52:43.000 It'll call you the accidentally make friends app.

00:52:46.000 Yeah, they totally simmer down during the thing.

00:52:49.000 Like, oh, that's pretty cool.

00:52:50.000 What is that?

00:52:50.000 An iPhone 11?

00:52:51.000 Yeah, it's an iPhone 11, yeah.

00:52:53.000 It's not much better.

00:52:54.000 Like, it's not worth the extra money.

00:52:55.000 I would have stuck with that if I could have.

00:52:57.000 In the way that, like, the sex apps take away all the romance, the fight apps take away all the heat.

00:53:02.000 Yeah.

00:53:03.000 We can use this unromantic behavior to calm down more incendiary impulses.

00:53:11.000 It's amazing.

00:53:11.000 It's like a contraceptive and a fight simmer downer.

00:53:15.000 Number four, depending who's counting, portable drink holder.

00:53:15.000 All right.

00:53:19.000 So I came up with some of these while drinking, and I'm not proud of the drunk ones.

00:53:26.000 They're not good.

00:53:26.000 It's like when you have a brilliant idea, when you're dreaming, and you go, I'm going to be fucking rich.

00:53:31.000 And then you wake up and you're like, a sedu, a sedu for sand?

00:53:36.000 What?

00:53:39.000 So this was, we're standing on the train drinking beer and you're getting jostled around.

00:53:43.000 You want to check your phone or whatever.

00:53:45.000 And you got this beer in your hand and you wish you could just put it somewhere.

00:53:47.000 So I thought, what about a sticky pad that's flat, right?

00:53:51.000 You put it in your briefcase, whatever.

00:53:52.000 It folds out and it can carry a beer on it, but it's soft, light cardboard and it's got an adhesive backing.

00:53:59.000 And then I realized, if this is later, I realized that if it's got an adhesive backing, it's strong enough to hold a beer, it's probably going to be really hard to get off the wall.

00:54:10.000 Now you're leaving stick all over the wall.

00:54:13.000 You would have to be plastic and it'd have to be screwed in, and those have been invented.

00:54:17.000 Kind of like that, yeah.

00:54:18.000 Yeah, I basically invented this, but cardboard.

00:54:22.000 And it's like, what are you doing?

00:54:24.000 And it's not going to be strong enough.

00:54:25.000 And the best case scenario is that you vandalize the train, and now everyone has this weird texture of sticky tape.

00:54:32.000 All right, they're not all gems.

00:54:35.000 They're not all going to get you rich.

00:54:36.000 This one I'm very proud of.

00:54:37.000 And it's numbered here as number five.

00:54:40.000 Thick pockets.

00:54:42.000 Now, in the summer, if you're like me, you hate being hot.

00:54:46.000 I hate the heat.

00:54:48.000 And one thing I really hate about the heat is I'm not a shorts guy when it's work time, obviously.

00:54:52.000 And when you're wearing pants, suit pants, any kind of pants, in Manhattan in July, your legs sweat so much, you have wet legs.

00:55:02.000 Now, if you have thin material on your pants, then you can breathe and you get some air up there, and it's livable.

00:55:09.000 But the problem is, and by the way, this article is written by a woman.

00:55:12.000 I guarantee you, the art department, whatever, who did this is a gay. 1.00

00:55:18.000 And no one tucks their shirt in like that.

00:55:21.000 And when they say bulging pockets, the visual they just made here isn't a bulging pocket.

00:55:26.000 This is the problem with these gay magazines like GQ. 1.00

00:55:29.000 The final product isn't what the writer was going for.

00:55:34.000 But they just sort of like this, I have a magazine background, so I'm pretty finicky about this.

00:55:40.000 They farm it all out to the different departments, and then they make something like this.

00:55:43.000 This is not what bulging pockets look like.

00:55:45.000 Bulging pockets have the pocket, and I can't do it here, but you have like your car keys are ridiculously big now, right?

00:55:53.000 So you have your car keys, it's got all your house keys, all your other crap on, you got your AirPods, and you end up with a pretty sizable fist of crap.

00:56:02.000 Now, when you have thin materialed pants, those bulge out like crazy, not like this at all, GQ.

00:56:08.000 And it looks like you have these two tumors on your upper thighs.

00:56:13.000 And we can see the exact shape of your keys.

00:56:15.000 It's annoying.

00:56:17.000 So most people give up on thin pants just because of that.

00:56:20.000 Here's my solution.

00:56:22.000 The material, your pocket, actual material, this stuff, right, is thick as denim.

00:56:30.000 Thick as thieves.

00:56:33.000 So you have thin material pants, but with a pocket that is like industrial denim.

00:56:40.000 Like the kind that the union was using in 1832.

00:56:43.000 Thick as shit, fucking canvas.

00:56:46.000 And now that thick pocket will sort of hold in the bulge of the keys.

00:56:51.000 I mean, there'll still be a part that goes out, but it won't be all like jaggedy and shapey.

00:56:55.000 It'll be more like a boo.

00:56:57.000 You get me?

00:56:58.000 And then you still get the thin-skinned legs.

00:57:00.000 That's good.

00:57:01.000 I'm really happy with that one.

00:57:02.000 That's why I took so long on it.

00:57:05.000 Number six, depending who's counting.

00:57:08.000 Why can't you dial 911 on your computer?

00:57:12.000 What if there's an emergency, you have no phone, and you want to dial 911?

00:57:16.000 Well, you got to go on Skype or something?

00:57:18.000 There should be a 911 URL you can just go to and that calls your local 911.

00:57:25.000 And the 911 operator should come on as a chat and you can talk to her.

00:57:29.000 Like, what if there's a shooting on the train, right?

00:57:32.000 You don't want to go, hi, 911, there's a guy with a gun here and he's killing people.

00:57:37.000 You're underneath a chair.

00:57:38.000 You're freaking out.

00:57:39.000 Bullets are whizzing overhead.

00:57:41.000 You open up your laptop and you call 911 on your computer and then you chat with her.

00:57:46.000 And yeah, he's Muslim and he's screaming Ala Akbar and we're all going to die. 1.00

00:57:50.000 We're on the G train headed to Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

00:57:55.000 Help.

00:57:56.000 No problem.

00:57:57.000 We'll be right there.

00:57:58.000 Thank you for your URL contact.

00:58:02.000 This is just 911.gov.

00:58:04.000 Oh, shit.

00:58:05.000 Wait a minute.

00:58:06.000 Need to call or text 911?

00:58:12.000 Holy shit.

00:58:13.000 We're down to nine.

00:58:14.000 Well, no, no, no.

00:58:15.000 Look, emergency assistance not available through this website.

00:58:18.000 There you go.

00:58:19.000 Oh, so when you click on that, they go, well, you should get on a phone then and call them.

00:58:24.000 Phew.

00:58:24.000 Yeah, that's terrible.

00:58:25.000 Okay, we're back up to 10.

00:58:26.000 Or at least, I don't know why you say 10, but I'm going to take Your word for it.

00:58:31.000 This one, charge me.

00:58:33.000 I invented this.

00:58:34.000 It's a cord where you plug in your phone to your girl's phone and it usurps the power. 0.74

00:58:42.000 So, say she's at zero and you're at 100.

00:58:44.000 You use this magic cable and it drains your power and gives it to her. 0.95

00:58:48.000 Now you're both at 50.

00:58:51.000 And that's as simple as that.

00:58:54.000 It's a way to turn your phone into an external battery.

00:58:56.000 It's amazing.

00:58:58.000 It would look something like this, I suppose.

00:59:00.000 That is my invention.

00:59:03.000 Did you make a video for this one already?

00:59:05.000 No, someone has gone into a time machine.

00:59:07.000 Oh.

00:59:08.000 watched this video.

00:59:10.000 This is weird, because the reason they stole this idea from me is because of this video, yet we're using their...

00:59:25.000 Oh, this is them reviewing your product in the future?

00:59:27.000 Basically, yes.

00:59:28.000 Okay, so those aren't your hands?

00:59:29.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:59:30.000 I gave away this idea.

00:59:31.000 Oh, that's right.

00:59:32.000 Is that an Indian guy?

00:59:34.000 And he can do it.

00:59:35.000 I never even thought of that.

00:59:36.000 Different phones.

00:59:37.000 Yeah.

00:59:39.000 Not bad, buddy.

00:59:41.000 You are on duty, buddy.

00:59:45.000 Okay, here's one.

00:59:47.000 It's a bird app.

00:59:48.000 You know, Shazam, where you can just hold up your phone?

00:59:50.000 A lot of these are media phone related.

00:59:52.000 There's not a lot of cool man stuff here.

00:59:54.000 Like a sledgehammer with ergonomic grip so your hands don't get blisters.

00:59:59.000 You can tell what a pussy I am by my inventions. 1.00

01:00:02.000 Like this one.

01:00:03.000 It's a bird app.

01:00:04.000 Like you know Shazam when you're just like, I love that Tyler, the Creator song.

01:00:07.000 Well, this one is like, you know how you want to identify birds?

01:00:10.000 And you're like, what is that?

01:00:11.000 Is that a keel build mot mot?

01:00:12.000 And you can't tell, right?

01:00:15.000 You're like, the J has like the meanest call ever.

01:00:19.000 It's like, rah, rah.

01:00:20.000 Oh, that's a dove.

01:00:21.000 And you just hold it out.

01:00:23.000 And then you can hear, your phone will hear what that bird is.

01:00:27.000 It'll identify it, show it to you.

01:00:28.000 I have a bird.

01:00:29.000 I'm into birds.

01:00:30.000 But the problem with birds is it's like learning guitar.

01:00:33.000 There's just so many species that you just cannot get a grip on it.

01:00:38.000 And I have this $17 app that I can look up a bird.

01:00:41.000 It'll tell me everything there is to know about it.

01:00:43.000 But if I have a call, it can't sort the call.

01:00:47.000 It can tell me every bird's call.

01:00:49.000 But that's the horse before the cart.

01:00:51.000 I feel like the cart before the horse.

01:00:53.000 This kind of maybe you were inspired from this when I showed you this app on my phone where you could you point your camera to a tree or a plant and it tells you what it is.

01:01:03.000 No, I've thought of this for years.

01:01:05.000 Oh, because somebody else might have been inspired.

01:01:07.000 If they can do that with plants, why can't they do it with birds?

01:01:10.000 What's this?

01:01:11.000 You see.

01:01:11.000 Oh, they can.

01:01:13.000 ID birds by their songs.

01:01:14.000 Fuck.

01:01:15.000 Yeah.

01:01:17.000 Okay.

01:01:17.000 In my defense, I invented this about three years ago, maybe more.

01:01:17.000 Okay.

01:01:22.000 And I scoured the web for one because I wanted one.

01:01:25.000 It wasn't like I didn't want to be identified.

01:01:27.000 But at that time, there was one school that was doing it for just a few local birds.

01:01:34.000 I wanted an app for all birds everywhere and they weren't done.

01:01:37.000 But apparently they finished their work and pursued my invention.

01:01:41.000 Okay.

01:01:42.000 I'm going to buy it.

01:01:43.000 So it can do any species hit species there.

01:01:46.000 Because it better not be like four blue jays and an owl.

01:01:53.000 a great movie that's when i play bird poker that's the the best hand you could possibly get that's the full house yeah okay so they just got a lot of birds so you you can just point it to the any bird sound and it'll do it i'm gonna buy this i'm gonna buy this and get back to you but if it's a ripoff then i'm up to 11 and not down to 10.

01:02:16.000 All right.

01:02:16.000 Number quote-unquote nine.

01:02:19.000 It's called Live Feed Bar.

01:02:24.000 Now, I was going to call it Bar Feed, but it looks like Bar Feed, like someone puked on you.

01:02:30.000 I am an old man.

01:02:32.000 Will you stop showing our phone number, Tardo?

01:02:35.000 Sorry.

01:02:36.000 I'm an old man, and I have my three local bars, and there's certain bartenders I like, certain bartenders I don't like, certain patrons, regulars I like, certain I avoid like the plague.

01:02:48.000 And if there's one thing as old guys hate, it's a bar jam-packed with millennials.

01:02:53.000 I am a Klansman in Harlem when there are millennials in a bar. 1.00

01:02:58.000 It makes my skin crawl.

01:03:00.000 I'd rather die.

01:03:01.000 I'll open the door, I'll see it's packed with millennials, and just close the door, and I don't care if I have to walk 10 miles back. 1.00

01:03:07.000 And as a guy who doesn't like to drink and drive, I often walk to these bars or take my bicycle if it's in the next town three miles away.

01:03:16.000 Now, I don't want to trek all the hell out there if there's a douchey, boring bartender, some chick who's always looking at her phone, and the regulars are retards. 1.00

01:03:26.000 So you sign up to an app.

01:03:28.000 Now, my kids'baseball games have this.

01:03:30.000 There's stadiums that have these little cameras, and you can watch your son's games.

01:03:34.000 So you've got to work that day or something, you're not in town.

01:03:36.000 You can watch your son at work.

01:03:38.000 I mean, sorry.

01:03:38.000 You can watch your son play baseball via this app.

01:03:41.000 So your bar should have a camera where you can see, like this setup, there's a bunch of normies playing pool.

01:03:47.000 Bartender looks kind of okay.

01:03:50.000 He's engaging the staff.

01:03:52.000 Yes, I want to go here.

01:03:53.000 I'll just ignore Tubby two times over there.

01:03:56.000 The pool whale.

01:03:58.000 She's no pool shark. 1.00

01:04:00.000 And I'll enjoy myself here, makers.

01:04:02.000 Maybe watch the game or something.

01:04:04.000 I won't pay any attention to him.

01:04:05.000 I would go to that bar.

01:04:07.000 That's an ideal scenario.

01:04:09.000 And I know people are probably saying, well, no, no.

01:04:12.000 You don't want to do that because it could discourage people from going to the bar if they see that it sucks.

01:04:16.000 No.

01:04:17.000 Honesty is the best policy.

01:04:19.000 Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

01:04:21.000 You don't want people to be duped.

01:04:23.000 If your bar is so shitty that you have to hide the fact that it's empty and you hope someone stumbles in and you get them like you're some sort of fish trap, then you're a shitty bar.

01:04:33.000 You should be proud of whatever is going on in your bar at whatever time.

01:04:37.000 And the more information, the better.

01:04:38.000 The more interesting.

01:04:39.000 I believe, ultimately, it will make more people come to your bar.

01:04:42.000 And another thing they'll do is they'll start organizing their time better.

01:04:46.000 They'll be like, oh, Tuesday, November.

01:04:48.000 nights is like uh ladies night i know not to go there it'll be jam-packed with horny dudes and annoying young girls wednesday people are too hungover to come in and wednesday is a good time to go Sorry, that took way too long for a very simple concept.

01:05:03.000 Hope that hasn't been invented.

01:05:04.000 All right, number 10, but probably not number 10.

01:05:08.000 New York Post URL.

01:05:10.000 This one is incredibly boring, so hear me out.

01:05:11.000 Ryan, if you show the fucking phone number one more time, I'm going to whip that at your head.

01:05:16.000 Do you need to put stickers on your buttons?

01:05:18.000 No.

01:05:19.000 Why do you keep doing that?

01:05:20.000 Just get rid of that.

01:05:22.000 Okay.

01:05:23.000 Jesus Lord.

01:05:25.000 It's okay to make a mistake, but to make the same mistake three times is Homer Simpson shit.

01:05:34.000 Dough.

01:05:36.000 The problem, I love reading the New York Post.

01:05:38.000 I love reading the paper.

01:05:39.000 Okay, boomer, you got me.

01:05:41.000 I like actual paper.

01:05:42.000 But the problem with the New York Post is you read some crazy article.

01:05:45.000 Like I read about this guy who runs a fruit stand.

01:05:48.000 His name's Muhammad.

01:05:49.000 He runs a fruit stand in the Upper West Side, and there's no fruit in it.

01:05:53.000 And all the bourgeois, rich white people are totally verclamped because they go, oh, he's not making money.

01:05:59.000 And they want to have a fundraiser for him.

01:06:01.000 And I'm reading it going, a Muslim is on your corner every day with a giant fruit cart with just empty boxes. 1.00

01:06:07.000 Can we investigate this guy, please?

01:06:09.000 This is sounding a little spooky.

01:06:12.000 No one, that hasn't occurred to anyone in the article.

01:06:14.000 So I thought it was an interesting article.

01:06:16.000 Now, I want to put that out on my ghetto social media, the few places I'm still allowed, like Telegram and Parlor.

01:06:23.000 But I need the URL.

01:06:24.000 The New York Post doesn't have the same URL as the paper.

01:06:28.000 So the moment Hong Kong protesters set man on fire, in the newspaper, it'll be called Fires in Hong Kong.

01:06:34.000 Protesters do this to a dude.

01:06:36.000 And you can't find it.

01:06:38.000 So you have to look up the author and then see their most recent articles, then click on it.

01:06:41.000 It's a huge pain in the ass.

01:06:43.000 So what the New York Post paper should do is they have the article at the very end, there's a tiny URL.

01:06:49.000 And it says tinyurl e4xb.com.

01:06:52.000 And then you just manually type that out in your social media and you get straight to the article.

01:06:58.000 And now you can computer tweet whatever about what you read in the actual physical paper.

01:07:04.000 So you can have that for free, New York Post.

01:07:07.000 Number 11.

01:07:09.000 This one's pretty drastic and it might freak you out.

01:07:13.000 But it's called Medically Dangerous.

01:07:16.000 Number 11 is a special, probably a skull.

01:07:21.000 Yeah, it's a skull logo that you put on products that are FDA unapproved and incredibly dangerous.

01:07:28.000 Like I remember I had that water problem with my ear?

01:07:31.000 I had wished, and I was considering using actual pliers, I wished there was some pliers I could use to pry open my ear and to drain it out.

01:07:39.000 That's incredibly dangerous and really stupid, and no doctor would do that.

01:07:43.000 But I would like the prerogative to do my own hillbilly medicine.

01:07:46.000 In Canada, we'd call it hoser medicine.

01:07:48.000 I performed an ingrown toenail operation on myself using pliers in a six-pack and a pair of tiny Swiss Army knife scissors.

01:07:56.000 Cured it.

01:07:58.000 We cut out a guy's tumor once with just a knife and some scraper.

01:08:03.000 It came out like goristle.

01:08:05.000 It was in the vice party issue.

01:08:05.000 Yeah.

01:08:08.000 He just got to numb it.

01:08:10.000 Anyway, I'm not, please don't try that at home.

01:08:12.000 But I understand that we have the FDA and it doesn't want us doing things.

01:08:16.000 They don't want some company selling you some eye shit that's going to make you go blind.

01:08:19.000 But that should be your prerogative.

01:08:21.000 And especially if you're dying of cancer.

01:08:24.000 If you're dying of cancer, you should be able to take the skull route where there's this incredibly dangerous radioactive heavy shit where you know you're going to die anyway and you voluntarily agree to try it out.

01:08:37.000 And the great thing about that is we have all these free guinea pigs, all these free bunnies that are willing to die to test our product.

01:08:45.000 Now, we know if it works probably 15 years before the FDA, the FDA, by the way, takes forever to approve something.

01:08:52.000 You know how they have a cochlear implant that cured deafness?

01:08:55.000 We had a similar thing going for blindness, but the FDA approval time was going to be about 15 years.

01:09:00.000 John Stossel talks about this.

01:09:02.000 So the investors, they don't wait 15 years for a return on their investment, and they just said, ah, fuck it.

01:09:07.000 And now blind people are still blind. 0.95

01:09:09.000 If blind people want to sign up for the skull program, maybe we should call it the skull program. 1.00

01:09:14.000 Medically dangerous, isn't that catchy? 0.81

01:09:16.000 Make it the skull program.

01:09:19.000 They should have the right to.

01:09:20.000 It's a free country.

01:09:21.000 You're allowed to kill yourself.

01:09:24.000 Number 12.

01:09:26.000 This one's kind of weird.

01:09:27.000 I call this the bouncer wall.

01:09:29.000 Now, I went to Israel and I saw the wall that they built that brought terrorism in Israel down to zilch.

01:09:36.000 Zero.

01:09:37.000 From about one a day, about an attack a day, to absolutely nothing.

01:09:41.000 And you've seen the big wall that Banksy is scared of, and it's like 11 meters high.

01:09:47.000 I met the guy who built it, fascinating guy.

01:09:52.000 But that giant part of the wall that you see, that's right, you know, downtown Tel Aviv, whatever, that's only 5% of the wall.

01:09:59.000 Most of the wall is this.

01:10:01.000 It's just a smart fence.

01:10:03.000 And it's pretty easy to get over.

01:10:05.000 But as soon as you go within, like, where those dogs are, we have an alarm and we have a Jeep there within a minute and a half that will get those guys and put them back over the wall or detain them or whatever.

01:10:17.000 So I want to duplicate that.

01:10:19.000 And I know you go, Gavin, that's not an invention you made.

01:10:22.000 That's an invention that, oh, God, what was his name?

01:10:25.000 Rod Tarzer?

01:10:27.000 Anyway, that's an invention that he made.

01:10:31.000 Well, here's my twist.

01:10:33.000 This whole detaining illegals after they cross the border and putting children in cages. 0.66

01:10:38.000 Ooh, I just did air quotes unironically.

01:10:41.000 Putting children in cages and the whole stop separating families.

01:10:44.000 That's us taking on this massive burden of millions of illegals crossing the border and then trying to ethically house them while we figure out what to do with them. 0.98

01:10:53.000 Now, the left solution is just let them run free.

01:10:55.000 No borders, no wall, no USA at all. 0.94

01:10:57.000 That's their solution for turnstile jumpers.

01:10:59.000 Make the subway free.

01:11:01.000 Okay, that's a great solution.

01:11:03.000 I like that too.

01:11:04.000 Can we make hot chick pussy free? 1.00

01:11:07.000 Like all the plus size models at Victoria's Secret, can I just have them? 1.00

01:11:11.000 Because I want those.

01:11:13.000 Oh, and my wife can't get mad. 1.00

01:11:15.000 Can you make my wife like that too? 1.00

01:11:18.000 I want everything.

01:11:19.000 I don't like responsibility.

01:11:20.000 I don't like having to pay.

01:11:22.000 I don't like getting things I deserve.

01:11:24.000 I want things I don't deserve.

01:11:26.000 Anyway, so don't do that with them.

01:11:29.000 Don't Detain them and take them somewhere safe.

01:11:32.000 You catch them at the border wall because we have the same setup as Israel. 0.93

01:11:36.000 Then you put them back over the wall and you stand there.

01:11:40.000 Now, I know that sounds infantile, but I've been bringing this up for a long time, and no one can really give me a solution.

01:11:46.000 Why not?

01:11:47.000 It's sort of like I was saying recently: why did we colonize the world?

01:11:51.000 Like, why bother?

01:11:52.000 Why not just buy shit from them, buy tobacco?

01:11:54.000 We could set up a tobacco factory over there.

01:11:56.000 They're too stupid.

01:11:57.000 And then we'll just pay them a dividend, a stipend, and not have to deal with all this conquering crap.

01:12:04.000 Anyway.

01:12:05.000 Danny Tierza, by the way.

01:12:06.000 Danny Tierza, that's his name.

01:12:07.000 And how do you spell that?

01:12:08.000 It's a weird name.

01:12:09.000 T-I-R-Z-A, I think. 0.99

01:12:10.000 Yeah, Danny Tierza.

01:12:12.000 T-I-R-Z-A. 1.00

01:12:13.000 Great guy.

01:12:14.000 And Trump should have him working around the clock in America right now, building this.

01:12:19.000 So you just put them back over the edge.

01:12:22.000 Oh, there's little kids there?

01:12:23.000 Sorry, kids.

01:12:24.000 I wish you nothing but the best.

01:12:25.000 And then say the kid dies, God forbid.

01:12:27.000 It wouldn't be on my newsfeed because I have a filter for that.

01:12:30.000 Kid died in Mexico.

01:12:32.000 Parents brought kid to border, was turned away at border, kid died in desert.

01:12:37.000 Don't bring kids to a border.

01:12:40.000 Sounds reasonable to me.

01:12:41.000 That's what we do at Yankee Stadium.

01:12:43.000 Someone sneaks in, you catch him, oh, you don't have a ticket, you kick him back out, and then the bouncer stands there until he's sure he's gone.

01:12:50.000 Now we don't have to worry about cages or separating families.

01:12:53.000 All the problems that illegals are doing are kept in Mexico. 0.58

01:12:57.000 Now Mexico has a problem with people dying, not us.

01:13:01.000 Why bring them here and then risk them dying?

01:13:04.000 They brought a fucking baby on a trek through the desert, and now it gets sick and it's our fault?

01:13:10.000 Let's keep the culpability where it belongs.

01:13:12.000 All right, this one is fun.

01:13:15.000 Motorcycle backpack.

01:13:16.000 This is number 13, although I'm having a lot knocked off the charts here.

01:13:20.000 So you got a bicycle.

01:13:21.000 It's a normal bicycle, right?

01:13:23.000 But say you have to go long distances and you really need to not be peddling like a lunatic all day.

01:13:29.000 You put on this backpack and it's got wires that go to these little cogs on the wheel and you start her up. 0.96

01:13:36.000 It could be electric, could be gas-powered, I don't know.

01:13:39.000 And now you have a portable engine that turns your bike into a motorcycle.

01:13:45.000 Drive it around, you're going 60 miles an hour.

01:13:48.000 I'm not sure you're going to be allowed to go that fast.

01:13:51.000 And then when you're done, you want your bicycle back, you just take off the backpack.

01:13:54.000 Huh.

01:13:55.000 I'm just wondering if this one's electric or gas-powered.

01:13:59.000 Alrighty then.

01:14:00.000 The one that he's driving.

01:14:01.000 So this has been invented, unfortunately.

01:14:03.000 That's actually way better than mine, because mine means you have to lug a backpack around.

01:14:08.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:14:09.000 So they screw it onto the back tire and then it's got big rubber treads that, uh...

01:14:21.000 Okay.

01:14:22.000 A lot of time travelers watching this show.

01:14:25.000 We've got a very elite demographic.

01:14:28.000 Now, okay, let me just say one thing.

01:14:31.000 That's a lot of manufacture.

01:14:33.000 With my thing, the cogs are there, and you just put the backpack on.

01:14:38.000 I'm going to make mine battery-powered now, because they've ruined it with their gas shit.

01:14:43.000 And mine, you just plug in two wires, and everything else is already there.

01:14:48.000 These guys have a lot of setting up to do.

01:14:52.000 You got some setting up to do.

01:14:53.000 But I guess no matter what, setting up a rotating sort of a wheel that spins your actual bicycle wheel is going to take a few bolts.

01:15:03.000 You don't just like magically turn your tires into magic.

01:15:06.000 I don't get that one.

01:15:06.000 All right.

01:15:08.000 God, there's a lot of people on this planet inventing stuff that I'm trying to invent.

01:15:12.000 Okay, here's an esoteric one I don't think has been invented.

01:15:16.000 I'm 99% sure.

01:15:17.000 It's called Nosy.

01:15:20.000 Again, it's not a very masculine invention, but it's my number 14 here.

01:15:27.000 You know how when you personally go to YouTube, you see things that you like?

01:15:32.000 Well, when I go to YouTube, I see this.

01:15:35.000 I see a lot of cops.

01:15:36.000 I see a lot of comedy sketches.

01:15:38.000 I see myself a lot, that master clipper guy.

01:15:42.000 I'll see comedians, Kian Pee and stuff, maybe some weird animal stuff, lots of cops.

01:15:46.000 I love watching slingshot videos.

01:15:48.000 I always get my Trump stuff, my subscriptions, like Crowder, Red Letter Media, a lot of Don Trump Jr. stuff, my own, or my own company.

01:15:58.000 Sorry, that's not mine.

01:15:59.000 Don't shut it down.

01:16:01.000 I can't believe I'm still on YouTube.

01:16:02.000 It's got to be seconds before they cut me loose, right?

01:16:05.000 We're also hearing, by the way, that after they shut down your YouTube, they can shut down your Google account.

01:16:10.000 And now you lose all your kids' pictures.

01:16:13.000 They just, I don't know, do they delete them or they hold them for ransom?

01:16:18.000 Anyway, we'll be figuring that out.

01:16:19.000 I think we have till December 10th.

01:16:22.000 So say you're curious about someone else's algorithms.

01:16:25.000 Like, I was kind of surprised that there's so much cop shit in my feed.

01:16:33.000 Maybe some celebrity like Taylor Swift could go, hey, check out my algorithms. 1.00

01:16:37.000 And you can see, like, girls would love this.

01:16:39.000 They'd love to see what Taylor Swift's Pinterest recommendations are.

01:16:43.000 I mean, that's probably worth money.

01:16:45.000 So it's called Nosy, and you get to see your computer the way, you get to see things that are algorithm-based, like YouTube, Pinterest, I don't know, all the others, Snapchat.

01:16:55.000 You get to see those based on someone else's data.

01:16:59.000 Of course, they have to give permission first and say, yeah, you can peer at my algorithms.

01:17:04.000 What's so funny?

01:17:05.000 It's kind of romantic.

01:17:08.000 You can peer at my algorithms.

01:17:09.000 I want to peer at your algorithms.

01:17:12.000 Number 15, which apparently is number 10.

01:17:15.000 This one is super nerdy.

01:17:18.000 Ad stories.

01:17:20.000 Now, if you were to have an ad for diarrhea, right?

01:17:25.000 And it showed someone going, oh, oh, oh.

01:17:28.000 And then the next ad is an ad for a Italian restaurant, local Italian restaurant.

01:17:34.000 I'm not hungry, dude.

01:17:36.000 I just watched some black chick have explosive diarrhea. 1.00

01:17:39.000 I'm not going to be hungry for like a day.

01:17:42.000 So I understand that a lot of shows are desperate for commercials and they'll take whatever they can get.

01:17:48.000 But in a scenario wherein this show or this internet site or something is already drowning in ads, we sell a separate feature that's called ad stories.

01:18:00.000 And what we do is we spend about 2 million bucks researching how ads play together.

01:18:06.000 And we notice that, like, an ad for a sexy dress, if the next ad is about a Weight Watcher's thing, a working out, going to a gym, Equinox, it does much better.

01:18:17.000 So now they're both helping each other.

01:18:20.000 So the Equinox and the Sexy Dress ad are working together in the exact opposite way the diarrhea ad and the restaurant ad are working together.

01:18:28.000 And it could even be in threes.

01:18:30.000 Like there's a sexy dress ad, then there's an Equinox ad, and then there's a dating site ad.

01:18:37.000 Now we're building what I like to call, oh, I almost did it again, ad stories.

01:18:42.000 And you sell that to the advertiser.

01:18:44.000 So you say to Equinox, we're not just going to throw you in next to some diarrhea.

01:18:48.000 We're going to put you in an ad story where you will follow a bunch of sexy dresses and you'll be right before dating apps. 1.00

01:18:54.000 And it'll be a really nice environment for you to be in.

01:18:57.000 And that's extra.

01:18:58.000 It's extra.

01:18:58.000 And the advertiser will want to do it.

01:19:01.000 Oh, look at this.

01:19:01.000 It's always a black woman and a white guy.

01:19:04.000 I've seen that couple like three times in my life.

01:19:08.000 But on TV, it's about 90%.

01:19:11.000 What is there?

01:19:12.000 I don't understand the agenda.

01:19:13.000 White women want white men to be with black women. 1.00

01:19:17.000 Or maybe they want to fantasize that they're black women. 0.98

01:19:19.000 Yeah, that's probably it.

01:19:20.000 White women see themselves as boring, and they're like, no, I'm a sista. 1.00

01:19:24.000 I have a big afro with a black power pick fist in it. 0.99

01:19:32.000 So yeah, the ad stories is contingent on you having more ads than you know what to do with and you're not desperate.

01:19:37.000 But I think a lot of companies are in that situation and it's something where it's win-win for everyone involved.

01:19:42.000 I don't think the diarrhea wants to be next to an Italian restaurant.

01:19:46.000 I know if I was diarrhea, I wouldn't want to be next to an Italian restaurant. 0.78

01:19:51.000 So this appears to be 10 free inventions that you can have.

01:19:55.000 Go get rich, and you're welcome.

01:19:56.000 Go get rich, and you're welcome.

01:20:06.000 She don't want to go study. 1.00

01:20:07.000 She's only 17, so she's probably not ready.

01:20:10.000 A.M. A.M. Please know again.

01:20:13.000 I saw you on the cover.

01:20:14.000 Backstreet Boulevard.

01:20:16.000 Be no, me, no.

01:20:17.000 Whee.

01:20:19.000 You know what I thought about for the boy?

01:20:21.000 Oh, one thing I want to make clear about that last one, which I thought was number 15, but apparently is number 10.

01:20:26.000 Ad stories.

01:20:29.000 They're not all one commercial.

01:20:31.000 We already have that.

01:20:32.000 We have Sesame Street with State Farm.

01:20:35.000 This is the same commercials you always saw.

01:20:38.000 It's just the way they're stacked is determined by computers.

01:20:43.000 So computers have noticed that these stack better in this order than that order.

01:20:47.000 And the algorithms go this kind, this kind, this kind, this kind.

01:20:51.000 So it's the playlist that the computer comes up with.

01:20:54.000 And you pay for a more effective playlist.

01:21:01.000 I see.

01:21:02.000 I thought it was one story that was like, guy eats a mentos, and then a woman comes out of the bathroom because she has her regular game.

01:21:08.000 Maybe I should have called it ad playlists.

01:21:10.000 Yeah.

01:21:11.000 Also, the bar one, too.

01:21:13.000 What about, you know, you want to sneak away from your wife and go to this bar?

01:21:16.000 You're probably not going to go to that bar.

01:21:17.000 It's not like a, I got to go to the street.

01:21:20.000 That's a valid point.

01:21:20.000 But if your wife is so domineering that she is tuned into your bar's app, you got other problems.

01:21:28.000 Right.

01:21:29.000 That's a good point.

01:21:30.000 That's a good point.

01:21:30.000 You know?

01:21:31.000 Why are you hiding?

01:21:31.000 Man, I don't see...

01:21:32.000 Like that kind of guy who sneaks off to the bar and his wife can't know, and now she knows if he has a...

01:21:40.000 That does present other problems, though.

01:21:41.000 Like I've noticed there's certain bars I go to that don't have a big window in the front and men like it there because not everyone knows how much they drink.

01:21:49.000 Or there's another person that I'm very close to who spreads out his visits in bars.

01:21:56.000 So people at each bar think he goes to the bar like once every couple days or once every four days, but he's actually going once a day to three different ones.

01:22:04.000 That's genius.

01:22:05.000 That guy, by the way, I'm so close with him that I washed his penis this morning. 0.80

01:22:12.000 Do you piss his bed sometimes?

01:22:14.000 He has done.

01:22:16.000 That's funny.

01:22:16.000 I think those days are gone, though.

01:22:18.000 There's a guy that I know that.

01:22:19.000 That's funny.

01:22:20.000 There's a guy that I know who occasionally wets the bed.

01:22:28.000 I want to talk about two things.

01:22:29.000 One is Drake getting booed off stage.

01:22:34.000 Do you have that?

01:22:35.000 That's 1-4.

01:22:40.000 Always running with my motherfucking voice.

01:22:42.000 But you gotta understand when it's yours.

01:22:44.000 They don't really need your ass with a motherfucking choice, man.

01:22:48.000 Blow no make some noise for yourself tonight.

01:22:53.000 Doesn't sound like much of a boo.

01:22:55.000 You know.

01:22:56.000 No.

01:22:57.000 I'm gonna tell you.

01:22:58.000 Maybe it's a wait for it thing?

01:22:59.000 Like I said, I'm here for you tonight.

01:23:01.000 If you wanna keep going, I will keep going tonight.

01:23:05.000 If you wanna keep going, I will keep going tonight.

01:23:10.000 No.

01:23:12.000 As he's named from Trump, booze are hard to hear.

01:23:19.000 What the hell?

01:23:20.000 That's weird.

01:23:21.000 I would hate if a group of people were speaking for me, and I was like, no, I would like you to continue.

01:23:25.000 Hey, who helped him?

01:23:26.000 Yeah.

01:23:27.000 So I have a theory about this.

01:23:28.000 It goes back to the gays. 1.00

01:23:30.000 They wanted, that was at a Tyler the Creator concert.

01:23:33.000 He's a gay. 1.00

01:23:34.000 They wanted Frank Ocean to come on.

01:23:36.000 Yeah.

01:23:37.000 Tyler the Creator's gay? 0.74

01:23:40.000 I don't know.

01:23:40.000 Wow.

01:23:41.000 I thought he was straight.

01:23:42.000 Detective shitty strikes again.

01:23:44.000 I thought Frank Ocean was the gay one. 1.00

01:23:46.000 He's not the gay one. 1.00

01:23:47.000 He is another gay one. 1.00

01:23:49.000 I had no idea well.

01:23:51.000 But it's all these young teenage girls, like 13-year-old girls, that go to these concerts.

01:23:55.000 Now, rap is now for young hipster white girls who like black gays. 1.00

01:24:00.000 It's no longer the masculinity, the war on masculinity has finally hit rap.

01:24:05.000 And now they want homosexuality in their rap.

01:24:09.000 What are you looking at?

01:24:11.000 Gay rappers? 0.78

01:24:13.000 You're just learning this now?

01:24:15.000 And I think it's sort of like, you know, like two generations ago, girls were really into horses when they would start out.

01:24:22.000 And it's because they genetically feel this compulsion where they're attracted to men, but like, oh man, hey, how's it going?

01:24:28.000 Want to kiss one?

01:24:30.000 That's way too gross.

01:24:32.000 So they would, would, they liked horses because it seemed male and it's muscular and strong, but it's my slave and I get to decide what it does.

01:24:40.000 And I'll just ride it around.

01:24:42.000 And I sort of, I get to sort of almost know what gays are like.

01:24:48.000 I mean, sorry, what men are like.

01:24:50.000 And then you see this with boy bands too.

01:24:52.000 It's like, I'm a guy, but I'm kind of a girl.

01:24:55.000 Hi, I love you.

01:24:57.000 And I have blonde hair and stuff.

01:24:58.000 And then even like Motley Crew and those glam bands, they all looked like sexy women. 1.00

01:25:02.000 So it was a way to sort of like almost be attracted to men.

01:25:06.000 I would say the glam is more of a working class version of the boy band.

01:25:09.000 But in both cases, it's these incredibly feminized men.

01:25:14.000 And now they're like, I like men.

01:25:16.000 Black men seem virile and masculine, but I don't want a black man. 1.00

01:25:19.000 How about a gay black who's silly, like Tyler the Creator? 1.00

01:25:23.000 And then Drake comes on and is like, yo, I'm a badass.

01:25:26.000 I'm a fuck up.

01:25:26.000 A motherfucker.

01:25:28.000 And they go, ew, gross.

01:25:31.000 Why is he even here?

01:25:35.000 That's crazy.

01:25:37.000 He's not kooky enough.

01:25:39.000 You know?

01:25:39.000 Yeah.

01:25:40.000 He's just a dude.

01:25:42.000 Just a dude.

01:25:43.000 Also in the news, this is a subject I've kind of been avoiding, but it's become unavoidable.

01:25:48.000 There was a schism in the new right.

01:25:51.000 And the sort of the remember about three or four years ago, we heard that Generation Z, or whatever they're called, the Zoomers, 25% of them identify as conservative.

01:26:06.000 They go, great.

01:26:09.000 But that's more than ever.

01:26:12.000 But there's a schism going on now where we have sort of these trad con, paleocon types who are disgusted by Drag Queen Story Hour and all that and say a lot of anti-Semitic shit that makes me very uncomfortable.

01:26:26.000 And then there's the sort of Charlie Kirk, Prager USA, Dave Rubin, Jordan Peterson turning point group that is like okay with gays and loves Israel.

01:26:37.000 I would put myself, I'm not a Charlie Kirk guy, but I would put myself more in that camp.

01:26:43.000 And I know it doesn't sound very Catholic to not give a shit who's gay, but sorry, that's just where I'm at. 0.79

01:26:50.000 That's my upbringing.

01:26:51.000 It actually does sound Catholic because you don't judge other people.

01:26:54.000 If you're Christian.

01:26:54.000 Right.

01:26:55.000 Well, the Groipers are really clinging to the Joker and the incoming Boogaloo, the imminent Boogaloo, which is the huge civil war that's supposed to be happening.

01:27:04.000 And there's a schism there.

01:27:05.000 And I'm not a schism guy. 0.80

01:27:07.000 I want Nick Fuentes to be friends with Charlie Kirk.

01:27:10.000 Milo is the opposite.

01:27:11.000 Milo wants all out war.

01:27:13.000 He loves this.

01:27:15.000 In fact, I think he's going to have Nick Fuentes on his show.

01:27:18.000 And I was uncomfortable with that because I think he said some things denying the Holocaust.

01:27:23.000 And I said, all right, well, it's your show, not mine.

01:27:26.000 But if you have him on, you have to address those quotes and those things.

01:27:31.000 You can't just have them on.

01:27:33.000 Because then if you don't bring it up, you're normalizing it, validating it.

01:27:39.000 And he was talking about pairing him with a very left-wing guess.

01:27:43.000 I won't give it away yet.

01:27:44.000 I don't want to jinx it.

01:27:45.000 But that would be a cool combination.

01:27:47.000 So if you're my age, if you're almost half a century, you're probably not familiar with the schism that's happening, but I would be remiss not to report it.

01:27:55.000 So here's a fun little montage of what's been going on with the Charlie Kirk.

01:28:00.000 And I would put like Charlie Kirk, Ben Shapiro, maybe even Steven Crowder.

01:28:04.000 These guys are being vilified by this sort of a trad Catholic right who says things like, why do you worship Israel so much?

01:28:14.000 And how is the West going to be saved by anal sex? 0.99

01:28:21.000 This is the pendulum swinging back the other way.

01:28:21.000 Yeah.

01:28:23.000 Right.

01:28:23.000 All the way the other way.

01:28:24.000 I think we lose with the schism. 0.59

01:28:26.000 Yeah, we do.

01:28:29.000 A quick and fun, light-hearted question for you, Charlie.

01:28:32.000 So I know you gave a speech in Jerusalem early this year.

01:28:36.000 Were there any like awesome, fun dance parties that you guys hit afterwards?

01:28:39.000 Because I heard that Israelis are some of the best dancers in the world.

01:28:42.000 I mean, if you guys don't believe me, just Google Dancing Israelis.

01:28:44.000 It's insane how good the dance is.

01:28:46.000 Would you agree or disappoint?

01:28:49.000 So he's saying that Israelis were dancing after 9-11.

01:28:52.000 Oh, I see.

01:28:53.000 Right, right.

01:28:54.000 Charlie, I speak for not insignificant coalition of students in your organization that believes that your movement is utterly toothless.

01:29:00.000 I don't really think it matters how many young leadership, whatever conferences you hold, Demographics are going to catch up to you and you're going to lose.

01:29:06.000 This is a culture where you're going to get rocketed in.

01:29:09.000 They're smart.

01:29:10.000 Maybe I do like this.

01:29:11.000 I mean, it's hard because, you know, I don't like...

01:29:11.000 They're kind of smart.

01:29:17.000 I don't like being pushed around.

01:29:19.000 Like, if I don't say shit about Jews, now I'm not part of your thing. 1.00

01:29:22.000 Like, fuck you.

01:29:23.000 So, as long as I can think whatever I want, which I don't really think anything.

01:29:26.000 I'm a joker.

01:29:28.000 I don't believe in anything.

01:29:29.000 But, you know, it's fucking gay. 0.99

01:29:31.000 Well, I can't get past not supporting Israel. 0.98

01:29:34.000 Yeah.

01:29:34.000 And then they go, oh, so we should give them $3.5 billion a year.

01:29:39.000 That's about a day and a half of government spending.

01:29:42.000 And I've met plenty of Israelis that go, yeah, Ezra Levant included, don't send $3.5 billion.

01:29:48.000 We're a successful country, viable on our own, and it's generating too much animosity, and it's generating anti-Semitism.

01:29:54.000 So I think a lot of these people who hate Israel need to go there and see that there's a lot of like-minded people there.

01:30:00.000 There's a lot of pro-Trump people there.

01:30:02.000 I'm very frustrated by the anti-Trump people in Israel, but that's another story.

01:30:07.000 Yeah, there's a lot of problems out there and to like nitpick what the right's doing that they should be doing.

01:30:12.000 Like, it's not the time for that right now.

01:30:13.000 There's leftists that want us dead, you know?

01:30:16.000 Yeah.

01:30:17.000 And we're going to be talking about it.

01:30:18.000 You don't exactly fucking think this, do you?

01:30:20.000 Like, shut the fuck up. 0.96

01:30:22.000 I'm of two, I really, and one of the reasons I've made me been avoiding this subject is I'm of two minds.

01:30:26.000 Like, I like raucous debate and I like seeing people brawl, but I'm also petrified of losing 2020.

01:30:35.000 Play some more of it.

01:30:37.000 My wife just texted me about someone hurting a finger. 0.97

01:30:41.000 Advocated on behalf of accepting homosexuality, accepting homosexual acts as normative in the conservative movement.

01:30:50.000 How does anal sex help us win the culture war? 0.99

01:30:56.000 So my name is Patrick Casey.

01:30:57.000 I'm an American nationalist and America first patriot.

01:31:00.000 And thanks guys.

01:31:03.000 ATPUSA did improve its relationship with Ashley St. Clair, who all she really did was take a picture with Nick Quentin.

01:31:11.000 It was in the same room.

01:31:12.000 That was a bummer.

01:31:12.000 My question to you, Carly, is as someone who, you know, purports to be pro-debate and free speech and change of ideas, do you support black body people based on having controversy or people?

01:31:25.000 Yeah, because I think that's what started that whole thing.

01:31:27.000 I'm not sure.

01:31:28.000 Yes.

01:31:28.000 It is.

01:31:29.000 Who's Ashley St. Clair again?

01:31:30.000 I'm too old for this shit.

01:31:31.000 She's, it's kind of...

01:31:36.000 No.

01:31:37.000 Well, no, they got some controversial.

01:31:40.000 They're just a little extreme about certain things.

01:31:43.000 But yet again, I don't know.

01:31:44.000 I think they kind of focus on certain things, and that's their whole thing now.

01:31:48.000 So I don't know if I'm doing what leftists do when you say one thing, now they're those people.

01:31:53.000 Because you made a black joke, now you're the racist guy.

01:31:55.000 I don't know.

01:31:55.000 I don't watch enough of it.

01:31:56.000 I know Nick Francis is funny.

01:31:57.000 He's intelligent.

01:31:58.000 We hung out in DC.

01:31:59.000 It was very funny.

01:32:00.000 Well, it was mostly funny.

01:32:00.000 He was laughing at the shit that I was saying.

01:32:02.000 But he's smart.

01:32:04.000 And I think it's the fans, yet again, it's losers that will sit there and watch too much shit, and then they'll attack you.

01:32:11.000 That's leftist behavior, you know?

01:32:13.000 Yeah.

01:32:13.000 Trolls.

01:32:14.000 Right.

01:32:15.000 Well, my one problem with the Tradcast 2 is they say, hey, you're for free speech, but you don't want to talk about the JQ or you don't want to talk about the Holocaust. 0.65

01:32:24.000 And Mike Cernovich put it best.

01:32:26.000 He goes, you know what?

01:32:27.000 I'll happily talk about that like once a month.

01:32:30.000 But you want to talk about it every fucking time and you just keep pushing it and pushing it. 0.63

01:32:35.000 And it becomes like an obsession.

01:32:36.000 It's like vegans and Bitcoin guys.

01:32:40.000 They just get locked into that fucking rut and it's all they want to talk about again and again.

01:32:45.000 And here's another thing I've noticed.

01:32:46.000 They're all into trad cath and all tradition and marriage and gays are gross. 1.00

01:32:52.000 Where's your girlfriend? 0.98

01:32:54.000 Like you're 27.

01:32:55.000 Shouldn't you be married by now? 0.90

01:32:56.000 That's pretty darn traditional.

01:32:58.000 Get married.

01:33:00.000 Make babies.

01:33:01.000 Stop calling everyone else a hedonist when you're basically living the same life, but just with less Coke and less gay friends.

01:33:08.000 I thought you were going to find a new way to end the show.

01:33:10.000 Get married.

01:33:11.000 Make babies.

01:33:13.000 Chill the fuck out.

01:33:15.000 Yeah.

01:33:15.000 Anyway, I'm taking out of it for now.

01:33:17.000 And when you think about all that, I don't know.

01:33:18.000 It just owns too much real estate in your head.

01:33:20.000 Like I was telling a friend that was complaining the other day, I was like, you know, you complain about this person all the time.

01:33:24.000 They own your mind.

01:33:25.000 They're in your brain all the time.

01:33:26.000 Yeah, good point.

01:33:27.000 You know what I mean?

01:33:28.000 So, I don't know.

01:33:29.000 Just relax, folks.

01:33:30.000 All right.

01:33:31.000 I think we're out of time.

01:33:32.000 We'll do a mailbag tomorrow.

01:33:36.000 But let's end with this shocking video.

01:33:39.000 This is the very last video I sent you.

01:33:42.000 This is shocking, and it shows you when you know how to fly a plane, how a high IQ can save your life.

01:33:52.000 Just knowing the tricks of the trade and being aware of what's around you can really help save your life.

01:33:58.000 This is shocking to see.

01:33:58.000 This was terrifying.

01:34:01.000 A first real emergency.

01:34:04.000 I shouldn't be filming this, but if anything happens, I want everybody to know.

01:34:10.000 You know what?

01:34:10.000 Cut this out.

01:34:12.000 See?

01:34:13.000 I'm not even sure it's legal for us to show a man dying.

01:34:17.000 That's snuff. 0.91

01:34:20.000 I don't know if that's snuff is.

01:34:21.000 And we don't know the circumstances of what happened to him in that plane.

01:34:24.000 Maybe someone rigged up the plane and he was murdered.

01:34:27.000 Or maybe he was killing himself.

01:34:28.000 What if you save it for last?

01:34:32.000 Oh.

01:34:32.000 You mean we come back to it?

01:34:34.000 Yeah.

01:34:35.000 No.

01:34:36.000 Maybe we could show it tomorrow.

01:34:38.000 We'll talk to our lawyers and show it tomorrow.

01:34:40.000 But I wanted to show you this.

01:34:41.000 Tara LaRosa is this MMA chick. 1.00

01:34:44.000 She seems quite big for an MMA chick, but whatever. 1.00

01:34:46.000 So the Patriot Prayer in Seattle, which has become ground zero for this Antifa versus Patriots thing, for Veterans Day, they were waving American flags.

01:35:02.000 This sort of loops back nicely to that British guy at the beginning.

01:35:06.000 No, I sent this to you as a separate video, Genie R.C. Yeah, I'm looking.

01:35:10.000 I don't think I got it.

01:35:11.000 No, I sent it to Airdrop.

01:35:13.000 Oh, gotcha.

01:35:20.000 And all they were doing is standing on a bridge waving American flags, which is verboten in these Antifa towns.

01:35:28.000 So this professor comes up and starts beating on them.

01:35:32.000 And Tara knows how to fight. 1.00

01:35:34.000 So she doesn't want to get arrested.

01:35:36.000 So she doesn't knock out the chick, but she breaks up the fight where someone was already retaliating against the Antifa professor and just takes her down. 0.99

01:35:44.000 And this is after she's taken down the Antifa professor.

01:35:47.000 And you can see what these people are like.

01:35:51.000 You see that these people, these Antifa types, they've never really experienced conflict.

01:35:58.000 So when they actually get in a serious situation that they started, they have a complete meltdown.

01:36:05.000 So this is a woman, you know how there's a man, you can tell when a man hasn't been punched in the face in his life? 0.94

01:36:09.000 This is a woman who hasn't experienced physical conflict yet seems to push for it on a regular basis with the revolution. 0.93

01:36:18.000 I heard somebody was saying that calling.

01:36:20.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:36:21.000 Good, good.

01:36:22.000 But the guys are staying away.

01:36:24.000 I'm calling.

01:36:25.000 I'm calling this girl assaulted.

01:36:28.000 I can't quit.

01:36:29.000 You couldn't breathe.

01:36:30.000 You couldn't talk.

01:36:31.000 You're going to jail.

01:36:31.000 Let's go be able to pull you.

01:36:32.000 You're going to jail.

01:36:33.000 How do you like brown boys now? 0.95

01:36:35.000 We didn't fuck with this.

01:36:36.000 This fucking girl.

01:36:38.000 Let's say.

01:36:39.000 Stop going to jail.

01:36:41.000 We lost you.

01:36:42.000 You had to have it.

01:36:43.000 Now you.

01:36:43.000 You lost it.

01:36:44.000 No.

01:36:45.000 You're going to jail.

01:36:46.000 I am the professor.

01:36:48.000 It doesn't matter.

01:36:49.000 Oh my God, you're a professor.

01:36:51.000 Oh, let's go.

01:36:52.000 Wait, I had no idea.

01:36:53.000 Get off of her.

01:36:53.000 That's a professor.

01:36:54.000 Yeah, Professor Boobite.

01:36:56.000 Oh, yeah, she bit her tip.

01:36:58.000 And broke her skin.

01:36:59.000 Yeah.

01:37:02.000 She doesn't know about her that.

01:37:03.000 You need to get it.

01:37:04.000 You're going to jail.

01:37:05.000 Ruin this country.

01:37:06.000 I'm going to jail.

01:37:07.000 Stay calm.

01:37:09.000 Stay calm.

01:37:10.000 Stay calm from the police game, mom.

01:37:15.000 She's having a panic attack.

01:37:19.000 Why confront a mob of people when you lack constitution?

01:37:24.000 You should vaguely know the consequence of doing something.

01:37:27.000 You should vaguely know, like, yeah, this kind of makes sense.

01:37:29.000 Yeah, it's like If you think this group is MS-13, then why are you going up to them and punching them in the face?

01:37:35.000 What do you think you're going to do?

01:37:36.000 Beat them all up?

01:37:37.000 Look at his boots.

01:37:39.000 He works hard for a living.

01:37:41.000 I can't breathe.

01:37:42.000 You can't do it.

01:37:43.000 I'm not moving.

01:37:43.000 Please.

01:37:44.000 Just get out of me. 0.98

01:37:45.000 No, you are moving.

01:37:46.000 Stop.

01:37:48.000 You assaulted me.

01:37:48.000 I did assault.

01:37:50.000 Yeah, you did.

01:37:52.000 There's a periscope showing her pulling the hair of one of the girls there. 0.89

01:37:56.000 Please!

01:37:57.000 I can't breathe.

01:37:58.000 Have you seen that angle?

01:37:59.000 Get off of this.

01:38:02.000 I just saw the end of the fight where the Patriot girl is fighting back. 0.95

01:38:05.000 Don't fucking attack anybody, if She gets- If you get up, don't attack her!

01:38:10.000 You're breathing, stop!

01:38:11.000 I can't breathe.

01:38:12.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:38:13.000 Is that a clump of hair, dude?

01:38:15.000 Oh, from the other chip?

01:38:17.000 Wowzers.

01:38:18.000 And these aren't black girls with weaves. 1.00

01:38:20.000 No, that's real hair.

01:38:22.000 That's a clump.

01:38:23.000 That's real hair.

01:38:24.000 Get up, don't attack me.

01:38:25.000 That's a good hair.

01:38:26.000 You're breathing, stop.

01:38:28.000 Just relax.

01:38:28.000 Get off.

01:38:29.000 Relax.

01:38:29.000 Get off.

01:38:30.000 Relax.

01:38:31.000 Get off me. 0.85

01:38:32.000 I don't like consequences.

01:38:34.000 Get off.

01:38:37.000 This is America.

01:38:38.000 This is the West that that War vet was talking about.

01:38:46.000 She looks like a boner. 1.00

01:38:46.000 She does look like a boner. 1.00

01:38:49.000 Just let me breathe.

01:38:50.000 Then fucking stop.

01:38:52.000 Stop fucking talking about this.

01:38:53.000 This is the interesting part.

01:38:54.000 Stop.

01:38:56.000 I mean, I didn't mean stop.

01:38:57.000 I meant stop talking me.

01:39:00.000 You see their bizarre psychosis that goes on here.

01:39:04.000 It's possible that Portland and these Antifa towns and Antifa the organization is actually attracting mentally ill people who are violent, vindictive, and bizarre because this woman is acting like a lunatic. 0.99

01:39:20.000 We're not trying to do anything.

01:39:23.000 We're just here waiting for you.

01:39:24.000 Hear that?

01:39:24.000 She goes racism and then she gets hot and has to take her jacket off.

01:39:31.000 So what?

01:39:33.000 I know.

01:39:37.000 I can't believe this.

01:39:38.000 Why would you do this?

01:39:39.000 This has been my whole life.

01:39:40.000 I've always had to be the person.

01:39:43.000 What?

01:39:43.000 Yes, sir.

01:39:45.000 To show.

01:39:47.000 What?

01:39:47.000 You're not doing anything.

01:39:49.000 You don't know what Donald Trump is.

01:39:53.000 This has been my whole life.

01:39:54.000 I've always been the person that has to show you don't know what Donald Trump is.

01:40:00.000 So there's been all these people just like eating something racist, and she's had to jump in and go, stop.

01:40:04.000 That's a noose.

01:40:07.000 You're eating noose cake.

01:40:10.000 If she auditioned for the part of the crazy religious lady in the movie The Mist, they'd be like, nah, that's too much. 0.99

01:40:16.000 A little too on the nose.

01:40:17.000 Too cartoony.

01:40:17.000 Take it for our alien movie.

01:40:20.000 We're not about Trump.

01:40:20.000 Trump.

01:40:22.000 We're left over right now.

01:40:23.000 This is about our veterans.

01:40:24.000 I know.

01:40:25.000 Why do you gotta assault me, boys?

01:40:27.000 I know.

01:40:29.000 You're wrong.

01:40:31.000 You're wrong.

01:40:32.000 We're not racist.

01:40:33.000 All of us are racist.

01:40:38.000 Proud boys, please.

01:40:39.000 Help me.

01:40:40.000 Proud boys racism.

01:40:41.000 Help me.

01:40:42.000 Proud boys, please.

01:40:43.000 Proud boys racism.

01:40:46.000 Me, professor.

01:40:47.000 You shame radio professor and teaching cave talk?

01:40:53.000 jeez Oh, I think police were there?

01:41:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:05.000 And on her periscope, the MMA girl that took her down, the Proud Girl, she was talking to the police and blah, blah, and giving them the whole report.

01:41:13.000 And they're like, all right, well, and, you know.

01:41:16.000 So I think all of them the professor did.

01:41:20.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:41:21.000 Yeah.

01:41:22.000 And they showed that that hair pulling was pretty brutal.

01:41:26.000 Well, we have to show it now.

01:41:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:27.000 I'm going to find it.

01:41:29.000 Her name is Tara La Roca, right?

01:41:31.000 La Rosa.

01:41:32.000 La Rosa.

01:41:34.000 But this is what happened in Portland, too.

01:41:36.000 Proud boys crossed the bridge, planted one American flag on the ground, and then walked away and came back over the bridge.

01:41:44.000 So that picture you see is them crossing back over the bridge after they've planted an American flag and done nothing else.

01:41:52.000 The whole event that they advertised for days and days was about showing that Antifa are reckless mental patients, and they just left the flag there, went back over the bridge, and Antifa proceeded to just destroy Portland.

01:42:04.000 There's the professor in slow motion attacking a woman at the Veterans Day.

01:42:07.000 All right, grabs her flag on Veterans Day.

01:42:10.000 Right.

01:42:17.000 Goes in for the kill.

01:42:18.000 You can hear Tara going, calm down, calm down.

01:42:20.000 And then you hear her go, all right, here we go.

01:42:22.000 Yeah, there we go.

01:42:23.000 New video.

01:42:24.000 This is the new video of the.

01:42:25.000 Not exactly.

01:42:26.000 This one isn't slow motion.

01:42:27.000 This is regular.

01:42:29.000 And then there's her periscope.

01:42:31.000 Oh, snap. 0.99

01:42:32.000 There's the damage.

01:42:33.000 Wow.

01:42:34.000 She really bit her good. 1.00

01:42:36.000 It looks kind of like the professor grabbed the flag and then they both punched each other at the same time.

01:42:42.000 Yeah.

01:42:44.000 That wasn't Tara, by the way, who had the flag grabbed. 1.00

01:42:46.000 Tara was over a bit and then went over when they started fighting. 0.98

01:42:54.000 Yeah, I saw this one too.

01:42:55.000 Oh, you did?

01:42:56.000 Okay.

01:42:56.000 What's up, everybody?

01:42:58.000 This is right when it happens.

01:42:59.000 We're live in Portland.

01:43:02.000 We're live in Portland.

01:43:02.000 Waving Americans flag on Veterans Day.

01:43:05.000 Hey! 0.99

01:43:06.000 Yo, guys, stop.

01:43:08.000 Stop! 1.00

01:43:08.000 Hey! 1.00

01:43:09.000 Stop! 1.00

01:43:10.000 Hey, stop! 1.00

01:43:11.000 Bring it up! 1.00

01:43:12.000 Bring it up! 1.00

01:43:12.000 Come on! 1.00

01:43:13.000 Break it up! 1.00

01:43:13.000 Alright, break it up! 1.00

01:43:14.000 And then we see, and then the next part is what you just saw.

01:43:18.000 Alright, we have to get that out.

01:43:19.000 Oh, I felt like I was going to be able to do it for Veterans Day.

01:43:20.000 Way over time here.

01:43:21.000 Get fired.

01:43:22.000 Get in trouble.

01:43:23.000 Be brave.

01:43:24.000 And never stop fighting.

01:43:26.000 Let's see if I can punch this pen right into the camera.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 12, 2019

S02E84 - VETERAN'S DAY INVENTIONS

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