Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E86 - RIDICULOSITY

00:00:20.000 I don't know where I'm going, but I know what I'm showing.

00:00:24.000 Feeling that's what I'm pulling.

00:00:26.000 What the fuck is your motive?

00:00:28.000 And I wish you were yo, what's up, New York City and beyond?

00:00:36.000 Fucking Australia, UK, Germany, Canada.

00:00:43.000 Hey, oh, drinking pea, riding my skateboard.

00:00:51.000 Hanging out with a giant black dude who's my best friend.

00:00:55.000 What is with these small rich men and their giant black friends who are paid to be there? 1.00

00:01:03.000 It's a weird thing.

00:01:04.000 I've seen a lot of white dudes do that.

00:01:06.000 Like there was this rap label DEF CON that I used to work with.

00:01:10.000 And the main guy, the owner, clearly just started the label so you could hang out with black dudes.

00:01:15.000 And you could tell the black dudes were sort of like, yeah, you're the owner of the label. 0.66

00:01:18.000 I'll hang around.

00:01:19.000 But we don't text each other.

00:01:22.000 You know, it's weird too.

00:01:23.000 Yeah, there's a guy who just photographs, like, two of my friends just photograph black people.

00:01:28.000 That's so weird.

00:01:30.000 Mostly rappers, yeah.

00:01:31.000 I don't know.

00:01:32.000 I mean, isn't it just as racist to cherish a group as to denigrate them?

00:01:38.000 It's demeaning because it's itemizing people.

00:01:42.000 Thanks.

00:01:43.000 Philosopher Dunce.

00:01:48.000 Speaking of which, I was talking to some people about Stephen Miller last night because I'm still looking for the horrible thing he did.

00:01:55.000 And I was told through a friend of a friend that he can't go outside.

00:02:00.000 Like he's holed up in his house, permanently ruined by the SPLC because a slew of emails were discovered that shows him never saying anything good about people of color and bitching about immigration constantly and saying, you mean to do this and that, and it sounds like white nationalism.

00:02:19.000 And they sort of couch it.

00:02:21.000 They say like, appears to be a white nationalist and stuff like that.

00:02:24.000 And in a lazy and curious time, we go, oh, okay.

00:02:27.000 Here's a minor detail I didn't mention yesterday.

00:02:34.000 The emails were to the immigration reporter at Breitbart.

00:02:39.000 So yeah, they were all about immigration.

00:02:42.000 And I'm sorry I didn't talk about how funny Richard Pryor is or how dope Tyler the Creator is.

00:02:48.000 That was Tyler the Creator, by the way, doing the opening song.

00:02:51.000 But that's not really pertinent.

00:02:53.000 So I bet if you read any immigration reporters' emails at a conservative site, you're going to see a very anti-immigration sort of trend.

00:03:02.000 Look at how they, look at me, see that collage?

00:03:07.000 Bright bars.

00:03:08.000 It honestly looks like something Pat Dixon made.

00:03:10.000 Yeah, and you see in the corner there, you can kind of see the blood of the swastika, the red, and children just trying to get to a better life.

00:03:17.000 I mean, it's sinister propaganda is what it is.

00:03:20.000 That looks evil.

00:03:21.000 It looks like they stole it from...

00:03:26.000 It's grotesque.

00:03:26.000 So that's what they do now.

00:03:27.000 They just end people.

00:03:28.000 They did it to me, done it to Stephen Miller.

00:03:31.000 Anyone who gets in the way of the SPLC, and they're doing this, by the way, to fight hate, which is why you've seen so many articles about them from them, about the Aryan Brotherhood, for example.

00:03:44.000 Is there a conspiracy about him being Roy Cohn's son or something?

00:03:49.000 Apparently there is because I Googled it and it came up.

00:03:52.000 I don't care.

00:03:53.000 I don't care who is whose son. 0.59

00:03:54.000 But yesterday we were also...

00:03:59.000 Remember we were talking about that 18-year-old boy's butthole?

00:04:01.000 Please don't take that out of context.

00:04:04.000 I didn't realize it, but some viewers wrote in and said, dude, she's making fun of the T.I. thing. 0.98

00:04:09.000 Yes.

00:04:11.000 So T.I. was on the news because he has the gynecologist check his girlfriend his 18-year-old girl's hymen, which may or may not be true, by the way.

00:04:20.000 I didn't see the actual context, but that could be the kind of thing you say where you're like, yo, I'm worried about my daughter.

00:04:27.000 I don't want her having sex. 1.00

00:04:28.000 She's got to stay a virgin. 1.00

00:04:29.000 Every time I go to the gynecologist, I say, check that hymen. 0.97

00:04:32.000 It's like Tracy Morgan.

00:04:34.000 Somebody's getting pregnant. 1.00

00:04:35.000 Imagine that was a headline.

00:04:37.000 Tracy Morgan claims he will be impregnating the woman at a television station during a morning news show.

00:04:44.000 The woman was not available for comment.

00:04:48.000 But my joke, my message still stands.

00:04:51.000 I missed the joke.

00:04:52.000 That is true.

00:04:53.000 But can you go to the tweet?

00:04:55.000 It'd be kind of hard to find.

00:04:56.000 It'll be in yesterday's notes.

00:04:58.000 Oh, gotcha.

00:05:02.000 She's making a joke about an 18-year-old's tender little butthole. 1.00

00:05:06.000 And my point was, we only have one offensive joke area where you're allowed to be offensive, and it's children and sex.

00:05:13.000 So that tends to permeate modern comedy, Twitter, stand-up comedy, SNL, that kind of stuff, movies.

00:05:20.000 And when it's not surrounded with other stuff, it feels incongruous.

00:05:24.000 So just because I didn't get the joke doesn't really matter.

00:05:27.000 My point was these types of jokes are really sticking out like a sore thumb in the era of thought policing.

00:05:35.000 Trying to remember, what was that under?

00:05:37.000 Didn't I send it to you as a picture separately?

00:05:40.000 Yeah.

00:05:40.000 I think I airdropped it to you as a picture.

00:05:42.000 True that.

00:05:43.000 Got it.

00:05:44.000 On it.

00:05:48.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:05:50.000 There it is.

00:05:53.000 I miss being Canadian.

00:05:54.000 You could be so much lazier with your pronunciation.

00:05:56.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:05:57.000 There's that tweet there.

00:05:58.000 Fucking Anna Dresden there shooting the shit there, talking about her 18-year-old son going to the doctor every day. 0.99

00:06:03.000 Fucking Alan Shuckbe still has a gorgeous tight little beanhole, right?

00:06:06.000 By the way, Anna, I don't know if you know this, but boys and girls are different.

00:06:11.000 A woman's chastity is more valuable than a man's. 1.00

00:06:15.000 When we find out a teacher slept with a 16-year-old boy and she's hot, the dads tend to high five.

00:06:21.000 I'm not going to pass judgment on that.

00:06:23.000 When it's a male teacher and the girl is 16, someone's getting knifed in the parking lot.

00:06:29.000 And by the way, why would his beanhole be in jeopardy?

00:06:33.000 Well, I guess even worse than that, she's saying that she has a gay son, right?

00:06:38.000 Well, not worse.

00:06:38.000 I mean, that's you know, it's fine, of course.

00:06:44.000 But yeah, are we supposed to pretend that a gay's a gay teenager's chastity is as valuable as a woman's? 0.80

00:06:51.000 I mean, they're going to have, what, 50,000 partners over the course of a lifetime in every SCD known to man?

00:06:57.000 Sometimes several partners a day.

00:06:59.000 I mean, you see that in gay pride.

00:07:00.000 A big part of gay pride is we fuck all the time. 0.99

00:07:03.000 Watch, we're doing it now.

00:07:06.000 If a woman did that, she'd be known as a whore. 1.00

00:07:08.000 And that's not because of conditioning and sexism.

00:07:12.000 That's because women make babies. 1.00

00:07:15.000 And if a million men have sex with them and we don't know who the fathers are, society ceases to exist.

00:07:21.000 And those children have horrible lives.

00:07:24.000 This one seems kind of woke.

00:07:25.000 I feel like models would be bad at parallel parking, not because they're pretty, but because they're 12. 0.98

00:07:31.000 Yeah, I should say, I don't like policing jokes.

00:07:34.000 In fact, the reason I brought up her butthole joke was to say, stop policing jokes because you're only allowing one category and it looks weird.

00:07:41.000 Let all the offensive jokes back in.

00:07:44.000 Let me back on Twitter, please.

00:07:47.000 When I first got booted off of Twitter, people would come up to me and go, how you holding up?

00:07:52.000 Well, since I got cancer and it metastasized and I have a week to live?

00:07:56.000 Or because I got kicked off of a social media app?

00:07:59.000 Yeah.

00:08:00.000 I'm getting through it, getting through it.

00:08:02.000 Making silly quips isn't happening as often as it did.

00:08:06.000 Anyway, important news item.

00:08:10.000 We were making fun of Gene Simmons yesterday, and we caught a clip of him putting makeup on his daughter, kiss makeup on his daughter.

00:08:18.000 And we thought, oh, she's aged gracefully.

00:08:22.000 We saw her with that reality show a few years ago, and now she's working for, I don't know, Cosmopolitan Magazine or something.

00:08:28.000 And then we did a bit of hunting because we're intrepid reporters.

00:08:32.000 We research for this show.

00:08:33.000 We've done our homework.

00:08:35.000 And we noticed that she is...

00:08:39.000 You're watching Cosmopolitan.com.

00:08:41.000 And today, my favorite.

00:08:42.000 What possibly a nine?

00:08:46.000 Guys, get a Jew. 1.00

00:08:48.000 Look at that perfect nose. 0.67

00:08:50.000 They say black don't crack and white and crackers crack. 0.98

00:08:53.000 Jews don't really crack.

00:08:56.000 And I've known older Jewish women, my friends who are married to them.

00:08:59.000 The libido just keeps on going.

00:09:03.000 So I would recommend a Jew. 0.97

00:09:06.000 Look at this smoke.

00:09:08.000 Now, obviously, Gene Simmons is hideous, and he married a supermodel, so it's not going to be bad.

00:09:12.000 But look at her shape.

00:09:14.000 Look at that stuff.

00:09:16.000 What would you say she is, Mr. Weird Picky Guy who always likes?

00:09:19.000 Well, I think she is.

00:09:22.000 That's not true.

00:09:23.000 I like Brunettes just as much. 1.00

00:09:25.000 Even more so, actually.

00:09:27.000 She's a, I mean, an 8-point something.

00:09:30.000 Yeah.

00:09:31.000 That's an 8.4.

00:09:31.000 Yeah, 9 felt a little...

00:09:36.000 Yeah, 8.3 or 4.

00:09:39.000 8.3 or 4?

00:09:40.000 Yeah.

00:09:40.000 It's sub 5.

00:09:41.000 And now that changes things.

00:09:44.000 That butt, can we get back to that butt? 1.00

00:09:48.000 That butt, I've never felt this before.

00:09:50.000 I want my face on those cheeks so bad that I got mad at my face for not achieving that.

00:09:56.000 Yeah, I'm mad at my face.

00:09:56.000 You know what I mean?

00:09:57.000 Like, I want to fuck you, face. 1.00

00:10:00.000 Why can't you do that?

00:10:02.000 Bad face.

00:10:03.000 It's a waste of face.

00:10:04.000 I'm mad at my face.

00:10:05.000 It's like if you saw a cobra in a cage with a mouse and it wasn't eating it, I go, what the hell's the matter with you?

00:10:10.000 Took care of that.

00:10:11.000 Oh, I see.

00:10:11.000 Defective.

00:10:13.000 It's defective.

00:10:14.000 Imagine that those buns were in your life.

00:10:17.000 I sent you, what was that?

00:10:19.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:20.000 Her Instagram.

00:10:21.000 Or I think, what did I, I sent you the Maxim.

00:10:23.000 But if you check her Instagram, something horrible has happened to her.

00:10:26.000 Yes.

00:10:28.000 She has decided that she's a disgusting fat pig. 1.00

00:10:31.000 She ruined it.

00:10:33.000 And she's turned herself into the 12-year-old models we were just hearing about. 0.70

00:10:37.000 I don't think I put it in the notes.

00:10:38.000 I got it.

00:10:39.000 It'll come up.

00:10:41.000 And there's these pictures of her losing weight.

00:10:44.000 And you're just standing there as a heterosexual man going, no. 0.60

00:10:50.000 What have you done, you fool?

00:10:55.000 You dummy.

00:10:58.000 Just Sophie tweet Simmons Instagram, dunce.

00:11:01.000 Oh.

00:11:02.000 What are you doing?

00:11:04.000 Because I actually had the picture.

00:11:06.000 It'll be in the Instagram and that shows us more variety.

00:11:06.000 I don't care.

00:11:09.000 You're so fucking lugubrious.

00:11:12.000 Oh, okay.

00:11:13.000 Let me try to find it.

00:11:14.000 You know what you should do on your off time?

00:11:16.000 Just Google stuff.

00:11:17.000 Like, look up, hey, an albino fox.

00:11:19.000 See how long it takes you.

00:11:20.000 Practice.

00:11:21.000 Where are you going now?

00:11:25.000 Okay, let's see some.

00:11:26.000 I had a good before and after.

00:11:28.000 Oh, my word.

00:11:29.000 Look at that middle Polaroid.

00:11:31.000 What the hell is going on with you?

00:11:34.000 Whoa.

00:11:37.000 What else do we got?

00:11:39.000 Slow poke.

00:11:41.000 Oh, her hair is so healthy because she's been rich her whole life and she's been eating a lot of French food with butter in it.

00:11:46.000 So she doesn't look too skinny there. 0.80

00:11:50.000 No, there's that before and after I pulled up.

00:11:56.000 Oh, no, no, no.

00:11:59.000 She's got that kind of face too that's perfectly made for plumpness. 1.00

00:12:02.000 You need this before and after here.

00:12:03.000 And when you wreck it with losing weight, now your big full lips and your sort of these eyes and your cheeks and everything, I mean, she was this hot, if you can believe that.

00:12:15.000 That all just looks extraneous.

00:12:19.000 I call this the travesty of our times.

00:12:21.000 Look at, she became ugly. 1.00

00:12:23.000 And by the way, you're not pretty when you come out of the water.

00:12:23.000 Yeah.

00:12:26.000 You're all wet and cold and stuff.

00:12:27.000 She looks fucking fantastic in that first before pick. 0.96

00:12:31.000 And the second one, hi, I'm back at the hotel.

00:12:33.000 Skinny now.

00:12:35.000 Womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, woman. 1.00

00:12:37.000 She squared up.

00:12:39.000 Zoom out of that a bit.

00:12:40.000 Okay, that ass should be in the news. 0.99

00:12:44.000 And then the new ass is my dad's ass.

00:12:48.000 Oh, that reminds me.

00:12:49.000 My death has.

00:12:56.000 Wow, her test got way smaller too, by the way.

00:13:00.000 But she has that gap now.

00:13:02.000 Yeah, hold on.

00:13:04.000 So anyway, don't lose weight.

00:13:06.000 You turned yourself from an 8.6 to a, I'm going to say a 6.

00:13:11.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:13:12.000 I got to go.

00:13:12.000 Oh, shit.

00:13:13.000 6.4?

00:13:16.000 hold on a sec.

00:13:17.000 I was looking at a picture of Post Malone, and he has a butt diarrhea on his neck.

00:13:22.000 No.

00:13:23.000 Yeah.

00:13:24.000 That's weird.

00:13:25.000 It really is.

00:13:26.000 That's ridiculous-osity, wouldn't you say?

00:13:35.000 Um isn't that kind of ridiculous tenocity?

00:13:40.000 It is ridiculousness.

00:13:41.000 But uh check out so what it is is it's a well here.

00:13:44.000 You got the picture yet?

00:13:46.000 I just emailed to you this second.

00:13:47.000 Oh.

00:13:48.000 Oh, you're the king of oh oh oh.

00:13:50.000 I didn't know.

00:13:50.000 You didn't tell me.

00:13:53.000 You just told me.

00:13:55.000 There.

00:13:56.000 Okay.

00:13:56.000 So what it really is, is I think it's that he's Texan or something or southern.

00:14:01.000 He's from upstate New York.

00:14:03.000 So it's a skull of a cow.

00:14:04.000 But if you don't look at the horns, you see my dad's ass having explosive diarrhea all over his Adam's apple. 0.98

00:14:12.000 A bucket of hot diarrhea.

00:14:14.000 I do see that.

00:14:16.000 Which reminds me, okay, let's But let's start, before we do get ridiculous, with this dude.

00:14:28.000 Oh, I just wrecked it.

00:14:30.000 I'll blank it out.

00:14:33.000 The power of editing.

00:14:37.000 Let's start with this.

00:14:40.000 This is in Queens. 0.62

00:14:42.000 Jamaica.

00:14:43.000 If it was a white dude, it would be all about white violence and stuff, but it's a black guy, so it's all about the street it is. 0.60

00:14:48.000 It's in Jamaica, Queens.

00:14:49.000 It's in the area.

00:14:50.000 But check this out.

00:15:01.000 Get off the bus, yo!

00:15:03.000 Get off the bus!

00:15:04.000 oh my god There's no way to treat a kid.

00:15:14.000 No, it's mean.

00:15:19.000 Okay?

00:15:22.000 That's not a kid.

00:15:24.000 Stupid fucking fundamental.

00:15:26.000 Oh, no.

00:15:28.000 That's not a kid.

00:15:29.000 She's trying not to laugh.

00:15:32.000 So that's well done.

00:15:33.000 Clearly fake.

00:15:35.000 But who paid for that?

00:15:37.000 Like, getting a school bus is no easy feat.

00:15:42.000 You know what?

00:15:42.000 Maybe.

00:15:43.000 I think you don't have to have a school bus.

00:15:46.000 You just dress your friend like a kid and make him go on the bus and then film the results.

00:15:51.000 So they're walking around Queens looking for a bus?

00:15:53.000 That's Detective Shitty Strikes again.

00:15:55.000 Let's catch up on some dope-ass videos with our new hit show, Ridiculositiness.

00:15:55.000 All right.

00:16:02.000 Don't try to be too cool or not cough.

00:16:04.000 Cause I want you like the gun.

00:16:05.000 Walk, fuck that.

00:16:06.000 Okay, say, get it.

00:16:08.000 Fuck that.

00:16:09.000 Okay.

00:16:10.000 Yo, what's up, fucking Ollie?

00:16:15.000 Welcome to Ridiculosity, where we catch up on some videos that aren't quiet, that are toad, that are the GOAT.

00:16:24.000 You're going to watch them and be like, dead.

00:16:26.000 They're super mad.

00:16:29.000 I said all the ones on my list there.

00:16:32.000 Hype's old, isn't it?

00:16:32.000 A hype.

00:16:34.000 Okay, let's just go.

00:16:36.000 I've been accumulating these videos.

00:16:38.000 We tend to show one at the end of the show.

00:16:39.000 Yo, that ain't enough, yo.

00:16:41.000 I got mad examples.

00:16:44.000 You want to check out all the symbos in these videos?

00:16:48.000 So I don't know what order they're in, but let's just check out the first one.

00:16:52.000 Together, and we'll be all hyped and freak out and go, yo, when the person slips away from the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a horrifying random attack.

00:17:01.000 Yeah, for this one, though.

00:17:04.000 A bucket of his diarrhea.

00:17:06.000 I didn't want it to be in my mouth, but it was running down my eyes.

00:17:10.000 For over a year, the NBC4i team has been tracking crimes where the...

00:17:17.000 Oh, yeah, look at this.

00:17:18.000 Jesus, stop, stop, stop.

00:17:20.000 There's too much going on, yo.

00:17:24.000 When I first saw this story, I was honestly happy to see that he's in LA.

00:17:29.000 It's a weird feeling to have to go, whew, he can't get me in New York because the diarrhea man's not going to get on a plane. 1.00

00:17:36.000 He doesn't have a plane ticket.

00:17:37.000 But you know, something is horrific when you're happy that it's 3,000 miles away.

00:17:43.000 I know you've seen it.

00:17:45.000 This was viral yesterday, but pouring hot diarrhea in her face.

00:17:50.000 And I like how they're all serious about this event.

00:17:52.000 And obviously, if you're the woman, then yeah, it is fucking serious.

00:17:57.000 But how could they not be laughing?

00:17:59.000 100% of the people who heard this story were laughing.

00:18:02.000 And you know what's funny?

00:18:03.000 I have like a mental shit list of everyone who's fucked me over, and I swear I'll get them one day, but it'll probably be a long time.

00:18:08.000 And I've always thought, worst case scenario, when we're 80 at an old age home, I'll come up to them with like a large pint glass of diarrhea and just when they're on their deck chairs go, that was for 1994 when you sued me.

00:18:23.000 And he is obviously catching up on his literal shit list.

00:18:26.000 She must have crossed him somehow by not giving him enough change.

00:18:30.000 These guys are just cleaning up their shit list.

00:18:33.000 Okay, go ahead.

00:18:34.000 Tonight we have learned those incidents are skyrocketing.

00:18:38.000 Like you've seen reporter Joel Grover running.

00:18:40.000 Look, he went right over their heads.

00:18:41.000 That one is brutal.

00:18:44.000 He didn't get his head run over, though.

00:18:45.000 That looks like the same guy in the same spot.

00:18:47.000 Keep your eye on the woman walking out of this apartment building. 0.98

00:18:50.000 A homeless man approaches and suddenly smacks her in the house.

00:18:54.000 By the way, just pause.

00:18:55.000 This is a trick that the news does where they want to show ridiculosity, but they don't want to look base.

00:19:02.000 So they'll say, this is a serious crime web going on, and it's our problem with the way we deal with mental health.

00:19:08.000 Anyway, we're going to show you that same bitch getting hit in the head 10 times and then once in slow motion because we think it's cool too. 1.00

00:19:16.000 But it's a crisis.

00:19:18.000 Over to you, Larry.

00:19:20.000 There are now thousands of crimes a year left.

00:19:22.000 They've already showed this the three times.

00:19:24.000 The suspects are homeless and in many cases suffering from mental illness or substance Abuse.

00:19:30.000 It's so traumatic.

00:19:34.000 Heidi Van Tassel was walking to her car near Hollywood's Walk of Fame when, according to police and court records, a transient with schizophrenia and psychotic disorders dumped species all over her.

00:19:47.000 It wasn't a transient, it was a businessman.

00:19:49.000 It was a banker with a PhD in gross.

00:19:54.000 I shouldn't have talked over her.

00:19:54.000 Go back.

00:19:55.000 She talks about it coming off her eyes.

00:19:58.000 Yeah, it was liquid, hot liquid.

00:20:01.000 I was soaked, and I couldn't see it was coming off of my eyelashes into my eyes.

00:20:07.000 Paramedics rushed her to the hospital, and she now needs to be tested for infectious diseases every three months.

00:20:14.000 It's something I won't ever forget.

00:20:16.000 It was, I mean, it was disgusting.

00:20:19.000 Yeah, that's clear.

00:20:21.000 By the way, guys, if you want to buy low and sell high, and she's out of your league, meaning you're kind of ugly, this would be a good time to go for her because there's not a lot of competition for at least the next two weeks. 1.00

00:20:32.000 Sort of like Monica Lewinsky, maybe two months after that whole shit went down, would have been a great time to get in there. 1.00

00:20:38.000 The eagle seeks his prey.

00:20:39.000 That's how I met my wife. 0.88

00:20:40.000 She was depressed after a wedding and she had broken up with some guy after five years.

00:20:44.000 And I was just like, kawaia, kawaa.

00:20:47.000 The eagle seeks his prey.

00:20:49.000 It's talons snatch.

00:20:51.000 All right, so that's enough of diarrhea face.

00:20:53.000 Oh my God.

00:20:53.000 She's going to have that nickname, right?

00:20:55.000 Like, you know, you realize when she walks into a bar, if she has like a local bar, they'll go, that's the diarrhea girl. 1.00

00:21:01.000 That's the diarrhea chick? 1.00

00:21:03.000 Yeah.

00:21:04.000 Katie Bengelson is the girl who had the bucket hot.

00:21:07.000 Oh my God.

00:21:09.000 I want to ask her about it.

00:21:10.000 She cries every time.

00:21:10.000 Don't.

00:21:12.000 And then people maybe will want to be your friends because they'll want to hear the story.

00:21:15.000 I bet she could feel the chunks. 0.89

00:21:17.000 I bet she could feel like a ray of sunshine, but it was a ray of cornshine just dripping down her cheek and maybe just like popping off. 0.77

00:21:28.000 I think it's mad cool that she said, she added, she will never forget that.

00:21:31.000 Yeah, I'll never forget it.

00:21:33.000 Hey, did you have a bucket of hot diarrhea poured on your head?

00:21:36.000 Did I?

00:21:37.000 Did I, did I, did I?

00:21:39.000 You mean like a bucket, like a homeless man bucket with boiling hot diarrhea that would be running off my eyelashes?

00:21:47.000 I don't think.

00:21:49.000 Oh, I did.

00:21:50.000 Yes, I did.

00:21:51.000 I don't remember if it was hot, though.

00:21:53.000 Three days ago.

00:21:54.000 Could have been warm.

00:21:55.000 Homeless man, drenched, drenched. 0.59

00:21:58.000 Even if you're at the ER and that guy, she shows up and she's like, hi, I need.

00:22:04.000 I'd say, we need an outdoor hose, please.

00:22:06.000 Like, I don't want you in my hospital.

00:22:08.000 Even as a health person, it can't be good to have.

00:22:12.000 We're not India. 0.99

00:22:13.000 We can't have diarrhea particles everywhere.

00:22:16.000 It's not healthy.

00:22:18.000 Okay, what's next?

00:22:19.000 Oh, this one I'm a huge fan of.

00:22:21.000 It deserves, it needs no narration.

00:22:23.000 Let's just let it be.

00:22:32.000 Oh, that didn't play so smooth, dude.

00:22:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:22:37.000 Yeah.

00:22:39.000 On my computer, he's like, stop the ride.

00:22:41.000 Stop the ride right now.

00:22:43.000 I'm shooting.

00:22:44.000 And he just vanishes.

00:22:45.000 But the play, the frame rate is a bit annoying.

00:22:48.000 Let's see here.

00:22:48.000 I'm sorry.

00:22:55.000 Yeah, that one was better.

00:22:58.000 You know, if I was the guy working on that ride, I really am doing it.

00:23:01.000 I was making fun of Ridiculosity, but this is Ridiculosity.

00:23:06.000 It's funny when you start out making fun of something and then you are it.

00:23:11.000 Yeah, I think if the guy worked there, if I was him, I'd take your break now.

00:23:15.000 That guy's going to be delirious when he gets back.

00:23:18.000 So I would go get some cotton candy and egg cream and have a cigarette, maybe let that die down a bit because he's going to be ballistic.

00:23:26.000 Can you imagine being next to him on the ride as he was freaking out the whole time?

00:23:30.000 That's like my favorite.

00:23:32.000 We could do a whole segment.

00:23:33.000 Actually, we will.

00:23:34.000 We will do a whole segment on slingshots.

00:23:38.000 I love slingshots.

00:23:40.000 I don't really like seeing little kids on them because they freak out.

00:23:43.000 And old people handle it a little too well, especially really old people. 1.00

00:23:47.000 They're just like, well, this is very scary.

00:23:50.000 But people fainting, African Americans seem to be very dramatic on it. 1.00

00:23:57.000 Guys fainting next to their girls is really hilarious.

00:24:01.000 But that's a whole other segment.

00:24:03.000 Actually, you know what, Ryan?

00:24:05.000 Let's live life on the edge.

00:24:06.000 Find me a slingshot fainting when we're live on the show.

00:24:11.000 This is the way we do shit.

00:24:13.000 This is how we do it.

00:24:18.000 You can tell my references are pretty modern, huh?

00:24:19.000 Salt and pepper.

00:24:20.000 I was about to make a sling blade reference.

00:24:22.000 I got a sling blade passing out.

00:24:25.000 That's not ridiculosity, dude.

00:24:27.000 That's not dope.

00:24:28.000 Oh, the reason I brought this up, though, is one of my favorite things about sling blade videos, slingshot videos is when they go, just pause, pause, pause.

00:24:28.000 My bad.

00:24:36.000 When they go, oh, okay, you want, and then they're freaking out.

00:24:42.000 And then the guy goes, there's something wrong with your seatbelt.

00:24:44.000 Your seatbelt's not right.

00:24:45.000 And they go, what?

00:24:46.000 What?

00:24:47.000 And then they start checking.

00:24:48.000 Then they go, ka-chung, foom, and send them off. 1.00

00:24:52.000 But let's see who freaks out more.

00:24:55.000 We'll use this to summarize both races for eternity.

00:24:58.000 Anecdotal evidence pertaining to brilliant people.

00:25:05.000 I think the black guy's going to go. 1.00

00:25:07.000 Yeah.

00:25:11.000 Oh, this is great when they wake up and then start screaming.

00:25:18.000 Oh, this is the classic one, yo.

00:25:19.000 Yeah, this is one of the best ones.

00:25:21.000 You're just...

00:25:23.000 Ah, shit!

00:25:26.000 No!

00:25:28.000 He's made it about three times so far.

00:25:35.000 You okay?

00:25:36.000 You okay?

00:25:37.000 Oh, don't hold his hand, dude.

00:25:41.000 Shit.

00:25:42.000 So we're going to buy this.

00:25:51.000 Okay, that's enough.

00:25:52.000 Anyway, these guys have a sense of humor.

00:25:55.000 You'll notice there's a sense of humor lacking in most of these videos.

00:25:58.000 Like, we're talking to Miss Diarrhea bucket about what happened to her face and being super serious about it.

00:26:04.000 But at least when you watch those slingshot videos, people are laughing their heads off.

00:26:09.000 All right, what do we got next, Rygai?

00:26:11.000 What's the next ridiculosity, yo?

00:26:12.000 Because if it's going to take a while, I'm just going to ollie around on my deck.

00:26:15.000 Oh, no, that won't be necessary.

00:26:18.000 Did you see the guy I'm making fun of, Rob Drydeck, when he had this show, Robin Big, and when he was around Big, his black bodyguard, his black friend that he bought, he would be way more down, yo. 0.57

00:26:32.000 And then now that he has his other shows, he's more like, hi, I'm not really as black as I am when I'm around a black guy that I bought.

00:26:38.000 That's whack.

00:26:39.000 Yo, that's whack.

00:26:40.000 Whatever happened to the black dude?

00:26:42.000 He died, actually.

00:26:43.000 He did.

00:26:44.000 He's a big fat dude.

00:26:45.000 He lost the weight and died.

00:26:46.000 But him and Rob had a falling out because he wanted more money because Rob had all this shit on the back end.

00:26:52.000 And the black dude didn't appreciate that. 0.76

00:26:54.000 You're going to be able to do that.

00:26:54.000 Don't panic.

00:26:55.000 And this black dude don't appreciate water and giant fish. 1.00

00:26:58.000 What kind of fish is that? 0.98

00:27:00.000 Six shot?

00:27:01.000 Yeah, I like six.

00:27:01.000 Six shot.

00:27:02.000 The gram.

00:27:05.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh, if it's for the thumbnail.

00:27:07.000 Thumbnail, bro.

00:27:08.000 Just hop on it.

00:27:08.000 Hop on it.

00:27:09.000 Oh, no, no, hey, I don't think I'm going to float.

00:27:11.000 No, no, no, no.

00:27:12.000 No, no, no.

00:27:13.000 Get me out.

00:27:15.000 Give me a hit. 0.91

00:27:15.000 Get me out. 0.91

00:27:16.000 Has he never been in water before in his whole life?

00:27:19.000 How do you not know that we're not stones at that age?

00:27:23.000 Like, I get the concept if you just landed on Earth and you go, wait a minute, my feet sunk.

00:27:28.000 My whole body's going to sink.

00:27:30.000 But then you try it when you're two and you go, oh, I have a life jacket on.

00:27:33.000 Or even if you don't, you float.

00:27:35.000 Does anyone, they always say that some people float, some people sink.

00:27:38.000 Does anyone just get in the water and go, no, it's hard to sink.

00:27:42.000 You have to breathe all your air out.

00:27:44.000 And like when we go scuba diving, you need a weight belt to get down there.

00:27:49.000 And then also when people kill each other in the mob and stuff, they have to like puncture their organs so that way.

00:27:55.000 That's why they got cement shoes and shit when someone's a snitch. 0.99

00:28:00.000 They sleeping with the fishies.

00:28:01.000 No, no, no.

00:28:02.000 Please don't let them know.

00:28:03.000 No, no, no.

00:28:03.000 You're good, bro.

00:28:04.000 You're sure?

00:28:04.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:28:05.000 I've seen this a million times.

00:28:05.000 I'm not.

00:28:06.000 You're good.

00:28:07.000 I promise.

00:28:07.000 Bro, please.

00:28:07.000 You're good.

00:28:08.000 Let me get it with you.

00:28:09.000 I'll get it with you.

00:28:10.000 Hold on.

00:28:11.000 Look, look, look.

00:28:12.000 Hold me slowly until I float.

00:28:13.000 Okay.

00:28:15.000 You got the lights back on, man.

00:28:15.000 Let's go.

00:28:17.000 You're good.

00:28:18.000 You're good.

00:28:18.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:28:19.000 You're good.

00:28:19.000 I'm floating.

00:28:20.000 You're good.

00:28:20.000 No.

00:28:21.000 Hold on.

00:28:21.000 You're floating right now.

00:28:23.000 Hold on to the fish.

00:28:24.000 This fixes Lee.

00:28:25.000 Here we go.

00:28:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:35.000 I think I would freak out, though.

00:28:38.000 I remember one time in Costa Rica, I had a place there, and there was this porch that was totally open.

00:28:45.000 And it was pretty cool.

00:28:46.000 You'd leave a mango there, and you just see a monkey go and run away.

00:28:52.000 And one time there was this crab there, a really fluorescent big crab, and it was standing there.

00:28:58.000 And I thought, I want to catch it.

00:29:00.000 Maybe I'll put a towel on it, right?

00:29:02.000 And as I got closer, it just went, and I went, holy fuck.

00:29:07.000 And to this day, my wife teases me and says, I'm scared of crabs.

00:29:12.000 Told the kid that the kids that dad is scared of crabs.

00:29:14.000 But when a strange-looking animal moves quickly, I don't care if it's a chiquada. 1.00

00:29:19.000 It freaks you out.

00:29:21.000 So I'm not defending that guy when he was getting in the water, but post-Wiggly fish, we're on the same page.

00:29:28.000 All right, what other ridiculosity do you got?

00:29:31.000 Yo.

00:29:32.000 Dang.

00:29:33.000 We got managerial issues.

00:29:36.000 Oh, isht. 0.96

00:29:39.000 Okay, this is awesome.

00:29:41.000 I ain't done.

00:29:42.000 I'm a woman.

00:29:42.000 What's up?

00:29:43.000 Okay.

00:29:44.000 On my side.

00:29:45.000 What's up?

00:29:45.000 I ain't got shit.

00:29:46.000 I ain't got shit.

00:29:47.000 What's up?

00:29:49.000 Just pause.

00:29:50.000 So the more, what's the word I'm looking for?

00:29:54.000 Diminutive lady there. 1.00

00:29:56.000 It was a shoplifter.

00:29:57.000 She was caught.

00:29:58.000 And at Staples, in certain neighborhoods, they kick your ass if you're caught stealing.

00:30:03.000 So that other woman in the red sweatshirt, she has a Staples uniform underneath.

00:30:07.000 She's the manager who's about to open up a can of whoop ass on this bitch. 1.00

00:30:14.000 Get in my coat.

00:30:14.000 I ain't got shit.

00:30:15.000 Uh-oh.

00:30:15.000 Get in my coat.

00:30:16.000 You're stuck now.

00:30:16.000 I ain't got shit.

00:30:18.000 Fucking I stuffed you stole.

00:30:19.000 Right.

00:30:21.000 Is she trying to leave with the stuff she stole? 0.63

00:30:23.000 That's Eric.

00:30:25.000 Look at that.

00:30:25.000 Whoa.

00:30:29.000 Fuck the fuck up.

00:30:34.000 Going down.

00:30:38.000 Everything is on camera now.

00:30:41.000 Every event is on camera.

00:30:46.000 I think we have another freak out.

00:30:49.000 That's the crazy thing about in the hood.

00:30:51.000 A lot of people don't oblige by their dress code, so they're undercover at the same time and the security guard.

00:30:58.000 Oh, which is totally hype.

00:31:00.000 Yeah, that's maybe why that bitch got caught stealing because the manager was disguised. 1.00

00:31:06.000 Oh, this is a great one.

00:31:07.000 This is some tempers like I've never seen before in my life.

00:31:10.000 Okay, so just to set the stage here, this obese woman here wants to return some pants and buy a shirt. 1.00

00:31:18.000 But I don't believe she has the receipt for the pants.

00:31:21.000 And I'm sorry, you can't just come in here with some pants and expect money.

00:31:26.000 So she wants her pants back and she wants the shirt. 0.99

00:31:29.000 It's not that clear exactly what she wants, but I think we're on this woman's side until, of course, she completely loses it. 0.98

00:31:38.000 Get your pants and go! 1.00

00:31:43.000 I want my shirt.

00:31:45.000 I told you you ain't getting shit.

00:31:46.000 I want my shirt.

00:31:48.000 Say, I'm like, I'm a little bit of a shit.

00:31:49.000 You ain't put your shot.

00:31:50.000 Now say, get this pants, because you already know. 0.99

00:31:53.000 You already know.

00:31:54.000 Can you just pause?

00:31:55.000 Get your out of here.

00:31:57.000 Like, you were talking about that fight you had upstate with that guy.

00:32:00.000 Yeah.

00:32:01.000 You guys weren't yelling that loud.

00:32:03.000 I don't think I've ever in my life yelled at someone that loud, including Antifa and, you know, major battles.

00:32:10.000 Maybe for a joke.

00:32:12.000 That is full-on freaking out, losing your temper on both sides.

00:32:16.000 They are both at 10.

00:32:19.000 They're both keeping it 100.

00:32:20.000 It's almost like that's a fight of its own.

00:32:22.000 I mean, I've been that mad personally and punched a hole in the wall, but like two people on 10, you don't see that that often.

00:32:29.000 Not at the family dollar.

00:32:32.000 Fuck outta here.

00:32:41.000 What's good?

00:32:43.000 What are her bangs?

00:32:44.000 Just like a little dupe?

00:32:47.000 Like that fish that attracts people with its light?

00:32:49.000 That might be a bandani.

00:32:51.000 Oh.

00:32:53.000 In solidarity with Anglo Fish.

00:32:56.000 That's what they call it.

00:32:56.000 Angler Fish.

00:33:01.000 I'm refusing to corporate.

00:33:03.000 I can refuse sale to anyone.

00:33:05.000 Where's the sign?

00:33:06.000 Where's your sign?

00:33:08.000 Where's y'all sign?

00:33:09.000 Where's your sign?

00:33:10.000 You working with me on the screen.

00:33:14.000 That's okay.

00:33:14.000 I'll send this to corporate.

00:33:16.000 I've been recording the whole time.

00:33:18.000 I'll send it to corporate.

00:33:19.000 God.

00:33:20.000 We've become a nation of tattletales.

00:33:22.000 Just have an argument.

00:33:23.000 Scream it out.

00:33:24.000 Wait, what's going on in the corner there?

00:33:27.000 She's holding her back? 0.73

00:33:29.000 Maybe they're thinking it's a good time to steal or something.

00:33:32.000 Ooh.

00:33:33.000 That looks weird.

00:33:34.000 That looks suspicious.

00:33:35.000 That's a suspicious huddle.

00:33:36.000 That's pisnicious.

00:33:38.000 Yeah.

00:33:39.000 I don't want to go spilling tea, but it looks like they're up to no good.

00:33:43.000 You could spill tea.

00:33:44.000 Okay.

00:33:45.000 Tea spilled.

00:33:46.000 They're doing something shady.

00:33:47.000 Okay, now she's fully lost her temper. 1.00

00:33:49.000 Ain't nobody talking to you!

00:33:53.000 Help me, I'm just saying!

00:33:54.000 God, the drama.

00:33:59.000 Look at her.

00:34:02.000 And the other woman, like, when someone has lost their temper that much, you go, geez, I better get out of here. 1.00

00:34:06.000 But the other woman's just like, fuck you, bitch. 1.00

00:34:09.000 Mid-temperate.

00:34:14.000 Don't you kind of wish that both sides were unleashed?

00:34:17.000 Yes, I do.

00:34:18.000 Although every girl fight is just hair pulling and let go of my hair and blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:34:23.000 I'm telling you, if you live in a poor neighborhood in America, shave your head bald if you're a woman and you will win every fight in the world. 0.89

00:34:32.000 It's sort of like when we were kids, we had this game.

00:34:35.000 Something about Canada meant that about half the kids were circumcised and half weren't.

00:34:40.000 I guess because there's so many British immigrants.

00:34:41.000 I have a foreskin.

00:34:43.000 And so we would split into teams and fight each other.

00:34:46.000 And we would say, the call for the foreskin guys was, Awa! 0.93

00:34:53.000 Awa! 1.00

00:34:55.000 And you'd start forming in one side of the room.

00:34:58.000 And then the circumcised guys, their call was snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip. 0.89

00:35:03.000 So sometimes you'd look around the room and you'd go, wait a minute.

00:35:06.000 About eight of the ten people here, ten dudes, have British parents.

00:35:12.000 And then you just see this circumcised guy going.

00:35:16.000 Snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip.

00:35:23.000 And so we're fighting, and you end the fight by yanking the guy's underwear.

00:35:27.000 You give him an atomic wedgie.

00:35:28.000 Everything ended with atomic wedgies when I was in high school.

00:35:31.000 Not just nerds.

00:35:32.000 We didn't actually wedgie nerds, come to think of it.

00:35:35.000 But we would rip off the waistband.

00:35:37.000 The waistband has to come all the way off.

00:35:39.000 So I get Paul down.

00:35:40.000 I'm winning.

00:35:41.000 And then I reach down to pull up his underwear.

00:35:43.000 And I'm just going, what the hell?

00:35:46.000 Where are these undies? 1.00

00:35:48.000 Where did they go?

00:35:49.000 And then I look at him and he's going.

00:35:53.000 He had beat the system.

00:35:54.000 He had outsmarted us by not wearing underwear.

00:35:58.000 So he had me feeling all around his buns, giving him a bun massage. 0.99

00:36:04.000 Can't wedgie me if I don't have underwear on.

00:36:07.000 Smart.

00:36:08.000 The dumbest thing you could do is wear boxers because they don't really wedgie or tear.

00:36:13.000 So you just cut your butt cheeks in half. 1.00

00:36:15.000 And then your waist is up here and your legs are five feet long.

00:36:21.000 No, not this one yet.

00:36:22.000 Let's go to the extras.

00:36:24.000 Because we're done that round, right?

00:36:26.000 Yeah.

00:36:27.000 Okay.

00:36:28.000 Then let's check out the ridiculosity of the other ones that I sent you at the last second.

00:36:32.000 Yo.

00:36:34.000 Oh, this is a football player and a wrestler.

00:36:36.000 This is an important lesson that I've learned after watching approximately 9 million fights on the internet.

00:36:53.000 Got him.

00:36:54.000 Is that what they said?

00:36:55.000 Got him?

00:36:56.000 Yeah.

00:36:57.000 Got him!

00:36:58.000 Oh my God!

00:36:59.000 Look up!

00:37:00.000 You got him!

00:37:01.000 You got him!

00:37:03.000 No, he said, got him.

00:37:04.000 You're done.

00:37:05.000 They do say that, though.

00:37:06.000 Got him.

00:37:10.000 See, you sit there with boxing and you learn, oh, there's an uppercut.

00:37:13.000 You got to bend your knees, get up in it.

00:37:16.000 Oh, you might want to try the overhand.

00:37:17.000 Right.

00:37:18.000 That's really handy.

00:37:19.000 Everyone's talking about your hips and your legs and you got to twist your ankle and all this shit.

00:37:23.000 But the odds of you getting all that power and then hitting the target perfectly, kind of low, especially in a crazy street fight.

00:37:31.000 Almost without exception, every time someone picks a guy up and flips him down, it's the end of the fight.

00:37:36.000 And he's often knocked out.

00:37:38.000 So if you're ever in trouble, I would suggest picking someone up and throwing them down, assuming you're capable of that.

00:37:44.000 It's also humiliating to be picked up like a little kid and thrown away like a piece of garbage.

00:37:50.000 Oh, this one's a doozy.

00:37:52.000 I should have put this with the other.

00:37:55.000 So just pause.

00:37:56.000 So this guy, this guy snuck behind the counter or jumped over the counter because he was pissed off at them.

00:38:01.000 And they start fighting back.

00:38:03.000 This guy with the blonde hair, his pants, by the way, are so low, there's no way he can walk.

00:38:07.000 They're way below his balls.

00:38:10.000 But this guy should be a boxer because he takes about 100 hits to the face and is fine.

00:38:18.000 That should be the end.

00:38:19.000 Punch me down, punch me back up. 0.96

00:38:21.000 Then he comes back for more.

00:38:23.000 And they go, all right, we have more.

00:38:24.000 It's called this, this, this.

00:38:29.000 And he gets, I think he gets knocked unconscious there with a kick.

00:38:32.000 And then he gets knocked reconscious again.

00:38:34.000 They rebooted his hard drive.

00:38:36.000 So they're...

00:38:40.000 No, we're getting more.

00:38:42.000 Boom.

00:38:43.000 Look, he's got the opposite of a glass jaw.

00:38:46.000 He's invincible.

00:38:49.000 Those were like 10 knockout punches and kicks, and he's fine.

00:38:56.000 I've actually noticed a pattern here of employees at fast food places fighting back more.

00:39:00.000 Okay, is that it for the extras?

00:39:02.000 No, no, no.

00:39:02.000 There's that car thing, right?

00:39:04.000 Yeah.

00:39:05.000 All right, let's check this out.

00:39:07.000 Because this relates to the last one.

00:39:08.000 The last one is next.

00:39:09.000 No, no, the other car when I sent in the extras.

00:39:11.000 Oh.

00:39:12.000 Did we use up all the extras?

00:39:14.000 Yep.

00:39:15.000 Oh, maybe I didn't.

00:39:16.000 Did I not send it?

00:39:17.000 There's only two.

00:39:19.000 Damn.

00:39:20.000 What's it called?

00:39:21.000 Maybe I can find it.

00:39:23.000 I'm getting good at it, if you will.

00:39:25.000 No, we'll make it the last video of the show.

00:39:27.000 All right.

00:39:28.000 Yeah, check this out.

00:39:30.000 So this dude's pissed because someone done stole his weed.

00:39:34.000 I'm gonna suck the fuck out too, Brad.

00:39:38.000 I'll show you, bro.

00:39:39.000 I'm a weed.

00:39:41.000 They just took my weed up in this matchup, bro.

00:39:45.000 This guy with the black pants just pulled over this car because the guy in there stole his weed.

00:39:52.000 Now, I don't know what stole his weed means.

00:39:54.000 Maybe he took the money and just kept the weed or something.

00:39:56.000 He's winded because he jumped in and he punched the guy through the window or something.

00:40:01.000 And this guy is sort of like, so what?

00:40:02.000 I stole your weed.

00:40:03.000 Get over it.

00:40:05.000 Bruh.

00:40:06.000 Look, I'm not a judge, but maybe someone steals your weed.

00:40:08.000 You punch them in the face and then move on with your life and never see them again.

00:40:13.000 But this is just a little extreme.

00:40:15.000 What should you do if someone steals, I assume it's like 50 bucks of stuff from you and you can't call the cops?

00:40:15.000 I don't know.

00:40:20.000 Take his hat?

00:40:21.000 Retaliation is necessary.

00:40:24.000 Maybe.

00:40:25.000 Punch him, take his hat.

00:40:26.000 I don't know.

00:40:27.000 I'm petrified of condoning violence now because everyone goes to jail when I say it.

00:40:33.000 So they keep nattering on about this, right?

00:40:36.000 But I think the guy in the black pants went, all right, I beat you up.

00:40:41.000 I punched you a bunch of times.

00:40:43.000 I'm never getting the weed back.

00:40:44.000 Fuck you.

00:40:44.000 But this guy's got a very arrogant attitude, the weed thief.

00:40:48.000 And that's not a good attitude to have.

00:40:55.000 It's not about the weed, it's about the principles.

00:40:57.000 Yeah.

00:40:58.000 In the symbos.

00:40:59.000 There's like stealing your house or your car, and they're stealing some drug paraphernalia.

00:41:07.000 Darius, quit instigating.

00:41:10.000 Darius, quit instigate.

00:41:12.000 Typical Darius.

00:41:13.000 Darius, seriously, dude.

00:41:15.000 Okay, we should warn you, this is NSFW.

00:41:17.000 You're not going to enjoy it.

00:41:20.000 But just pause it here.

00:41:23.000 If someone is erratic, they've just fought you, their adrenaline is pounding, they do something weird with their car, get in your car, go out the passenger side, run around to the other side of your car.

00:41:35.000 These people aren't rational.

00:41:37.000 So I understand if you think you can take them and they don't seem to have a weapon and you're like, what?

00:41:42.000 What, bitch? 1.00

00:41:44.000 I guess I get that mentality.

00:41:46.000 But if they're armed or anything else, stand back.

00:41:49.000 Get the hell out of there.

00:41:51.000 What's with the arrogance when someone has...

00:41:54.000 Two tons?

00:41:55.000 When someone has a two-ton weapon aimed at you and you're like, what you gonna do, bitch? 1.00

00:42:02.000 I guess you know where this is going.

00:42:09.000 Oh my god.

00:42:13.000 Oh my god.

00:42:16.000 We kind of have to see that again.

00:42:18.000 Okay, I will look away this time.

00:42:21.000 So it looks like he broke his left leg at best.

00:42:24.000 Probably crushed his hip.

00:42:25.000 I wish we had a doctor here.

00:42:28.000 It just crumples like a piece of paper.

00:42:33.000 Got him.

00:42:35.000 Oh.

00:42:36.000 I didn't look.

00:42:37.000 Oh my God.

00:42:38.000 What did you think was going to happen, dude?

00:42:40.000 Like, why'd you call his boss?

00:42:43.000 That guy's going to jail for a long time.

00:42:45.000 Isn't that attempted murder?

00:42:46.000 I would assume so.

00:42:47.000 Vehicular assault, maybe attempted manslaughter.

00:42:50.000 Maybe attempted manslaughter, yo.

00:42:52.000 And you saw it first right here on Ridiculacity-thacity.

00:42:56.000 Ridiculacity-thacity-thacity.

00:43:06.000 Pretty ridiculosis, huh?

00:43:08.000 Yeah.

00:43:09.000 Chronicles of Redick.

00:43:11.000 I'm Ric Diculous.

00:43:12.000 That's my character today.

00:43:14.000 You're like Vin Ridiculous.

00:43:17.000 Vin Ricdiculous from the Chronicles of Redick.

00:43:20.000 Ulossity.

00:43:22.000 Dope.

00:43:25.000 Those shows do really well.

00:43:26.000 I feel kind of differently now about him.

00:43:29.000 Deer Day?

00:43:30.000 Yeah.

00:43:31.000 What's up with my boy?

00:43:31.000 Why?

00:43:33.000 Well, I was making fun of him all day, but spending some time in his shoes, I'm kind of learning to like the guy.

00:43:39.000 It's a great business model.

00:43:40.000 It's a great business model.

00:43:41.000 It's so cheap.

00:43:43.000 You just call up the YouTube user and you go, hey, man, we'll pay you $300 for that.

00:43:49.000 You driving a boat through a dock and into your cottage, which costs you, you know, $20,000 and would cost us that much to stage.

00:43:57.000 So you get all this high-quality action footage of crazy shit.

00:44:03.000 And then you just have a set.

00:44:05.000 You don't probably don't pay the guests.

00:44:07.000 The studio audience is free.

00:44:09.000 Yeah, and if a YouTube viewer tries to hardball you, there's over 1,300,000 viewers on YouTube.

00:44:22.000 Wow, you only delivered that fast.

00:44:24.000 I'm trying to find the exact number of how many videos are on YouTube, but it would be going up and going up and going up.

00:44:28.000 We should talk about the imminent purge that's happening at YouTube.

00:44:32.000 December 10th, have you seen these warnings?

00:44:34.000 We are changing our terms and conditions.

00:44:36.000 Do you want to review or are you just okay with that?

00:44:39.000 And you go, what am I going to do?

00:44:42.000 I'm going to read your 32 pages of terms and conditions and then see something I don't like.

00:44:47.000 Like, if we find that something is considered hateful, then we will take it down.

00:44:52.000 Like, I don't like section 13, line two.

00:44:56.000 Strike it. 0.93

00:44:58.000 Also, if you're out of there, if you're not commercially viable.

00:45:01.000 So they've deplatformed everybody who they don't agree with already, and so they could just boot you for not making the money.

00:45:08.000 Well, I've been demonetized for a couple years now.

00:45:12.000 So am I making the money?

00:45:14.000 Are there ads when I play my videos?

00:45:17.000 No, I think you have to have AdSense.

00:45:19.000 Yeah, I don't have AdSense.

00:45:20.000 And they took away my AdSense and then told me that there's no way I could appeal.

00:45:28.000 I'm not eligible for appeal.

00:45:31.000 You know, I wasn't ever making that much money from YouTube.

00:45:35.000 I had How to Fight a Baby with 13 million views.

00:45:38.000 I got on that a little late, so I missed a good 10 million of them.

00:45:42.000 But I got maybe 2 million, so I think it's up to 14.

00:45:45.000 And then I had millions of other videos.

00:45:48.000 I always did pretty well, you know, 100,000, 20,000.

00:45:51.000 But my checks were like 300 bucks, $300,000 to $400 a month.

00:45:56.000 So I would just put it on my PayPal, and then I go on eBay and buy dumb shit like an old ashtray.

00:46:02.000 I told you this before.

00:46:03.000 I don't know.

00:46:05.000 I don't think I've heard that because I've always wanted to see if you were a hood rich at one point.

00:46:11.000 You just buy stupid stuff like I do when I'm not rich.

00:46:13.000 Well, it doesn't seem like real money, YouTube money, because it goes to PayPal and PayPal is just on the internet.

00:46:18.000 And then I'm banned from PayPal.

00:46:22.000 I'm missing the email here.

00:46:23.000 And by the way.

00:46:24.000 What email?

00:46:25.000 Did you send that?

00:46:26.000 Oh, did I not send that thing yet?

00:46:27.000 Yeah.

00:46:28.000 Also, I do apologize.

00:46:30.000 There was some keying issues, but you was on a roll, so I didn't want to spill no tea.

00:46:34.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:46:35.000 You had the doohickey.

00:46:38.000 It was fuzzies.

00:46:40.000 I didn't send you this video yet?

00:46:41.000 Jeez.

00:46:42.000 Come on, G-Dog.

00:46:43.000 So the video we were just talking about on my new hit show, Ridiculosity, is now being sent to Ryan.

00:46:51.000 This is why it's good to have your computer on your desk while you're doing the show.

00:46:54.000 So yeah, Lumerd.com has a big thing about YouTube.

00:46:58.000 I guess, hey, guys, take whatever you want off of there.

00:47:00.000 I already moved it all to BitChute. 1.00

00:47:02.000 I knew I was living on borrowed time anyway.

00:47:04.000 I don't know how many subscribers come from our YouTube plugs.

00:47:09.000 You know?

00:47:11.000 Yeah, who knows?

00:47:12.000 I should probably get the Ezra Levant 10 Things I Love About the Jews, the whole conversation up there.

00:47:18.000 That would be a good ad.

00:47:19.000 I would like that.

00:47:20.000 That would be good.

00:47:21.000 That's a good ad.

00:47:22.000 I love when he arrived.

00:47:24.000 He comes in just with like a bag and glasses.

00:47:27.000 And he said, ah, Ezra, still a nerd, I see.

00:47:31.000 So demeaning and funny.

00:47:36.000 We have a funny relationship because in every relationship, there's a Batman and a Robin.

00:47:42.000 And it just, you feel it naturally.

00:47:43.000 Like you're obviously Robin on Batman.

00:47:45.000 And at the boxing gym, I'm pretty much robbing coast to coast, right?

00:47:49.000 That's why they say good when I punch them in the face as hard as I can.

00:47:52.000 And breathe when I'm halfway through a round.

00:47:56.000 Rounds, by the way, I said they were two and a half minutes.

00:47:58.000 Our rounds are three mins.

00:48:00.000 Sheesh.

00:48:02.000 Oi, hey.

00:48:03.000 But when you go to a bar, do you become the Batman?

00:48:05.000 Like when they're in your turf?

00:48:07.000 Oh, that's an interesting question.

00:48:09.000 Sometimes a student becomes a teacher.

00:48:12.000 Yo, when you're in my hood, like when we did that Peaky Blinders pub crawl?

00:48:16.000 Exactly.

00:48:17.000 They all had like jeans on and one Peaky Blinders hat and then like sneakers.

00:48:21.000 Only three of us dressed up.

00:48:22.000 I showed you the picture.

00:48:23.000 And I had a perfect outfit.

00:48:25.000 There's only one guy that was in my league and he had a pocket watch that actually worked.

00:48:30.000 So I was kind of more of the Batman then.

00:48:32.000 Yeah.

00:48:33.000 Which is strange because it's kind of like when your little brother beats you up, all of a sudden Robin's running the show.

00:48:38.000 But anyway, when I'm with Ezra, it's a weird kind of a bat rob. 1.00

00:48:43.000 Yeah, I noticed that.

00:48:44.000 Bat rob.

00:48:48.000 Bat rob.

00:48:52.000 Because he's been my boss.

00:48:53.000 He's called me a shithead before.

00:48:57.000 But I'm also clearly cooler and much sexier.

00:49:01.000 I don't know.

00:49:02.000 Anyway, Jesus, we're taking a very long time.

00:49:04.000 Should we say anything more about the YouTube thing?

00:49:06.000 No, I'm going to be dead soon.

00:49:08.000 Well, this is all there is.

00:49:09.000 Of course, this is getting attacked on a daily basis.

00:49:11.000 We have InfoWars levels of wall after wall after wall just to keep this alive.

00:49:16.000 One important thing is I think they might be able to take away your whole Google account, yo.

00:49:20.000 Oh, that was it.

00:49:21.000 Ryan was saying that they take away your whole Google account, then they take away your whole cloud, and now the pictures of your kids from when they were one are gone.

00:49:28.000 I would migrate to elsewhere.

00:49:30.000 You definitely migrate to BitChute, but as far as your pictures go, I guess you got to get like a terabyte.

00:49:36.000 I have like, I would say a terabyte of pictures floating around.

00:49:41.000 No nudes, unfortunately, ladies. 0.99

00:49:45.000 All right, without further ado.

00:49:49.000 It's amazing how people correct me about that.

00:49:51.000 Jim Goad texts me.

00:49:52.000 He's like, it's further ado, dude.

00:49:54.000 Yeah, I know.

00:49:55.000 That's insulting.

00:49:56.000 Let's watch the video that we were talking about.

00:49:57.000 Oh, you want to end with that video?

00:49:59.000 Maybe it's a good end video.

00:50:00.000 Yeah, okay.

00:50:01.000 Well, then let's check out the mail B. Okay.

00:50:06.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:50:10.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailback.

00:50:16.000 Let me touch it.

00:50:20.000 Anthony wants to know, thoughts on going vegan?

00:50:23.000 Gay?

00:50:25.000 Boring?

00:50:26.000 Stupid.

00:50:27.000 I was a vegetarian for 15 years, and one of the reasons I quit is I thought, I'm just eating soy powder with bacon flavoring on it for like all the faking and all the fake meat and stuff.

00:50:39.000 And you go, that's what they do with dog food. 0.98

00:50:41.000 They have sawdust with a little bit of protein, and then they dip it in some sort of bacon-tasting thing and trick the dog.

00:50:48.000 I'm a dog.

00:50:49.000 No.

00:50:50.000 Plus, it's very easy to get ethical meats like from Neiman Ranch.

00:50:55.000 So if you farm locally and you buy locally, I think the cow is having an okay life.

00:51:02.000 And here's another thing.

00:51:06.000 This whole idea of like, I'm doing my part, like I heard about this chick at some dive bar, the same chick who's trying to kick me out of the dive bar, by the way, harassing the owners for serving me. 0.93

00:51:15.000 She goes, me and my brother, of course it's not a husband, we are not, what is it?

00:51:21.000 We don't eat meat because we're concerned about greenhouse gases because we know cow farts are a thing.

00:51:27.000 Have you heard of a more irrelevant gesture?

00:51:29.000 Like, is it conceivable that there's a farmer somewhere who went, oh, well, can't buy as many cows this year because there's too many vegetarians?

00:51:38.000 Has that ever happened?

00:51:39.000 If you kill less cows, there's more cow farts.

00:51:43.000 What?

00:51:44.000 If you kill less cows, are not there more cow farts?

00:51:48.000 Yeah, well, that's another way to see it, too.

00:51:50.000 When you get that sort of macro with anything, it's hard to understand the mathematics of what they're doing.

00:51:55.000 For example, when someone says, we're not having kids, the world's overpopulated.

00:52:00.000 I got to make this graphic somehow.

00:52:02.000 Let's take 7.5 billion grains of sand, right?

00:52:06.000 And you were probably going to have, what, two, three kids?

00:52:09.000 Now take a picture of that.

00:52:11.000 Now go over and take the three grains that you were going to add to that.

00:52:15.000 Take them away.

00:52:16.000 How does your pile of sand look now?

00:52:19.000 And I have no idea what 7.5 billion grains of sand.

00:52:23.000 Maybe it fills up this whole apartment.

00:52:25.000 And you're taking away three grains of sand?

00:52:28.000 Thanks.

00:52:29.000 Thanks for coming out.

00:52:30.000 Same with the environment, with this like Canada's cracking down on their carbon footprint because they're responsible for 1.5% of the world's...

00:52:39.000 1%?

00:52:40.000 You're going to tax Canadians to death to get down to 1%?

00:52:43.000 Well, there's plastics in the ocean.

00:52:45.000 Yeah, that's not us.

00:52:46.000 That's China. 0.88

00:52:49.000 Is meditating gay? 0.91

00:52:51.000 Whatever works, dude.

00:52:53.000 It's not my cup of tea.

00:52:55.000 But if it works, like, boxing is my meditation.

00:52:59.000 That's my Irish therapy.

00:53:01.000 If it works for you to do it, fine.

00:53:02.000 I even feel the same way about Scientology.

00:53:06.000 How's that for controversial?

00:53:07.000 Dang.

00:53:08.000 I know, I'm told it's evil, but Joy Villa was a meth addict. 0.99

00:53:11.000 Her life was getting flushed down the toilet.

00:53:13.000 She got into Scientology, got her life together.

00:53:15.000 It worked for her.

00:53:17.000 And they say, well, they separate you from your family.

00:53:19.000 Actually, I don't want to defend Scientology.

00:53:21.000 Forget it.

00:53:21.000 I think it's more of the power of structure in that.

00:53:25.000 Yo, Gavin and Ryan, wondering who could beat who in an arm wrestling contest.

00:53:30.000 It'd be great to see it and show winner Gavin shave that fucking cow pie on Ryan's head. 0.93

00:53:34.000 You for sure.

00:53:35.000 Oh, I don't know about that, dude.

00:53:36.000 You're ripped.

00:53:37.000 It's nothing to do with ripped.

00:53:38.000 It's to do with leverage.

00:53:39.000 A lot of it's leverage.

00:53:40.000 Well, let's have an arm wrestle. 0.98

00:53:41.000 Okay.

00:53:47.000 Now, the key before you start is, it has to make a square.

00:53:53.000 Oh, I see.

00:53:54.000 That looks like a square.

00:53:55.000 Cool.

00:53:56.000 I'm kind of nervous.

00:53:57.000 I'm going to lose.

00:53:58.000 Well, I'm actually not nervous because I know I'm going to lose.

00:54:00.000 Robin can't beat Batman or he's fighting.

00:54:03.000 I might throw this.

00:54:04.000 I understand?

00:54:05.000 Okay, ready?

00:54:06.000 Don't throw it.

00:54:06.000 One, two, three, go.

00:54:09.000 Ah, shit.

00:54:10.000 Ah, shit.

00:54:12.000 I'm leaving.

00:54:14.000 I'm just going to wait for you to tire yourself out.

00:54:19.000 I worked out today.

00:54:20.000 It took a lot of weightlifting.

00:54:24.000 Fucking shit.

00:54:26.000 Fucking shit.

00:54:30.000 I'm going to park.

00:54:32.000 Are you kidding?

00:54:38.000 Oh, you fucker. 0.99

00:54:39.000 Yeah.

00:54:47.000 *laughs*

00:54:48.000 Were you toying with me?

00:54:49.000 No, I was just trying to...

00:54:54.000 We were in like that.

00:54:56.000 Oh, that hurt my heart.

00:54:57.000 We were like in a lightsaber.

00:54:59.000 Just nobody was budging.

00:55:01.000 Oh, my heart is pounding.

00:55:02.000 My arm feels weird.

00:55:05.000 I started to get kind of claustrophobic and hot.

00:55:10.000 Barfy.

00:55:11.000 As we were doing that, I was saying to myself, second we're done, I'm taking this fucking shirt off.

00:55:16.000 Your superpowers, your sounds were hilarious.

00:55:20.000 And I laughed and I was like, that's the end of me.

00:55:23.000 And I felt you actually exhale and I felt some room.

00:55:27.000 And when I heard you breathe, I was like, wait, I'm breathing too.

00:55:30.000 And I was like, let me take the opportunity to not breathe and try to finish this.

00:55:33.000 Okay.

00:55:35.000 Don't let anyone crap on you for an app or your shows.

00:55:38.000 I love everything.

00:55:39.000 But I want you to show the videos of you doing survivalist videos.

00:55:42.000 They're hilarious.

00:55:43.000 Don't know if that shoe company owns them or you do.

00:55:47.000 Can't you just look them up online?

00:55:49.000 That was something I was thinking because I'm looking around my house and I see a hundred hard drives.

00:55:55.000 I've saved everything over the years.

00:55:57.000 So I think I'll just load them up and it'll be a sketch show.

00:56:06.000 The Bees one is my favorite.

00:56:08.000 Yeah, that was mostly done in post.

00:56:10.000 Yes.

00:56:11.000 That was on my property upstate that my family made me sell because they didn't like it up there.

00:56:15.000 Wait, how do you make fun of my hair?

00:56:17.000 What's going on there?

00:56:20.000 You live and you learn, right?

00:56:21.000 Touche.

00:56:23.000 Touche.

00:56:23.000 Wait, that one's a pretty good one.

00:56:24.000 More like two.

00:56:25.000 Look at that one.

00:56:26.000 This was about how to start a fire in the woods and how to use the various techniques.

00:56:31.000 I got excited because I saw a bit of smoke and I overreacted.

00:56:34.000 You can't take the bait.

00:56:35.000 You can only stop doing what you're doing when you see flames and a lot of smoke.

00:56:39.000 I'm not going to make that same mistake again.

00:56:43.000 Still not stopping.

00:56:47.000 I'm not stopping until I see actual flames.

00:56:52.000 What the hell?

00:56:53.000 And nervous.

00:56:54.000 Really?

00:56:54.000 Yes.

00:56:56.000 Why did I get kicked out of comedy?

00:56:57.000 I'm funny.

00:56:58.000 Yeah, your other thing, what is it, the karaoke in the woods thing?

00:57:02.000 I don't know what that was, but that was hilarious.

00:57:04.000 Oh, yeah, that wasn't me.

00:57:05.000 That was the guys from Savvy Fav.

00:57:09.000 We're the start of the show, though.

00:57:10.000 Maybe in the clip you saw.

00:57:12.000 All right, boys, we're out of time.

00:57:14.000 Let's end on the video that I was talking about when we were totally peacing out with Ridiculosity.

00:57:21.000 And I didn't know arm wrestling was such a workout.

00:57:24.000 I'm a little winded.

00:57:26.000 This is the exact same, basically, as the video we showed you before, and the same lesson prevails.

00:57:31.000 Beware of cars.

00:57:33.000 Be wary of extreme force.

00:57:38.000 Why do I have to say that?

00:57:39.000 Yeah, people should just know that to be the truth.

00:57:41.000 What's the matter?

00:57:42.000 It's not playing?

00:57:43.000 No, it is.

00:57:43.000 No.

00:57:47.000 We are singing now.

00:57:49.000 Oh! 0.60

00:57:51.000 But she's kicking a car. 1.00

00:57:53.000 You better have, if you're going to kick someone's car, you should have an escape route.

00:57:57.000 And look, she gets, uh-oh, he's coming at me.

00:57:59.000 But even then, she's not getting out of the way.

00:58:02.000 And then, crunch.

00:58:05.000 She finally gets her leg injured.

00:58:06.000 Still not safe, though.

00:58:08.000 Getting the passenger.

00:58:10.000 You are exposed.

00:58:12.000 Is her leg broken?

00:58:14.000 Go back.

00:58:15.000 Go back.

00:58:17.000 It's not hard to break a leg.

00:58:19.000 Oh, actually, I saw it do the thing.

00:58:21.000 It bend the wrong way.

00:58:22.000 It did, right?

00:58:23.000 That seemed to bend the wrong way.

00:58:25.000 I'm curious to see it again, but I think it did bend the wrong way.

00:58:28.000 God, we're resilient, aren't we, as humans?

00:58:30.000 A car can run over our leg, and we're like, all right, I'll just put a cast on.

00:58:36.000 Get fired.

00:58:37.000 Get in trouble.

00:58:38.000 Be brave.

00:58:39.000 And never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 13, 2019

S02E86 - RIDICULOSITY

Episode Stats

Summary

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