Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #53 | PARLER IS LIT

00:00:14.000 In New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnon! 1.00

00:00:29.000 Holy shit, I'm strong. 0.99

00:00:30.000 Did you see how I pulled that ghetto blaster off the table? 1.00

00:00:33.000 I did.

00:00:34.000 Dude, muscle milk and boxing every day, I'm turning into a beast. 0.91

00:00:38.000 Although I look like an AIDS patient. 0.72

00:00:41.000 From the neck up.

00:00:43.000 And from the neck down, actually.

00:00:45.000 What do you think of this new addition?

00:00:50.000 The fanny pack?

00:00:51.000 Love it.

00:00:51.000 I'm a fanny packer.

00:00:55.000 I mean, I don't even know if I'm being ironic anymore.

00:00:57.000 I'm never being ironic when I wear a fanny.

00:01:00.000 You know what?

00:01:00.000 When we were kids, like the grunge years as Gen X, we weren't really being ironic.

00:01:06.000 When we were being ironic.

00:01:08.000 Like, we go to second-hand clothing stores, which my generation basically invented. 0.94

00:01:11.000 My generation invented the whole grunge thing of not having brand names, not needing a Nike swoosh on your shirt.

00:01:19.000 Military-looking gear, like that green.

00:01:20.000 Yeah, all that used clothing stuff, that was us.

00:01:22.000 You're welcome for that.

00:01:25.000 But if we saw a shirt that said, like, Jesus Camp,

00:01:30.000 Sleep at your best.

00:01:32.000 And it had a little kid sleeping with a big giant cross and had Jesus looking down.

00:01:37.000 You'd wear that shirt and you weren't really like, ha ha.

00:01:41.000 You weren't really Christian.

00:01:42.000 I'm not gonna pretend it was like an ode to Christianity.

00:01:44.000 But it wasn't really ha ha.

00:01:46.000 It was just sort of like, here's a weird shirt.

00:01:48.000 Yeah.

00:01:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:01:49.000 The weirdness of it.

00:01:50.000 Like you might as well have a baseball hat that said Korean Burgers. 0.99

00:01:54.000 It was just like, here's a thing.

00:01:57.000 I found, like, a weird feather in the jungle, and I put it in my hat.

00:02:01.000 What do you think about me getting Crocs?

00:02:05.000 Uh, you should also, if you're gonna get Crocs, I would suggest you work on your resume!

00:02:11.000 You're saying that I'd be fired from here?

00:02:13.000 Yes.

00:02:14.000 Instantaneously.

00:02:16.000 I actually don't even think there'd be a question. 1.00

00:02:18.000 It would be like if you worked at a gay conversion place, and you showed up sucking a dick. 1.00

00:02:24.000 It'd be like, well, you're done. 1.00

00:02:26.000 I assume you knew that.

00:02:29.000 You can't just come in here and say F you to everybody.

00:02:31.000 Is this lighting right?

00:02:33.000 It seems a little dim.

00:02:35.000 And for some reason the host looks really old.

00:02:39.000 Like look at this.

00:02:40.000 I notice I can see these wrinkles in my eyes more than ever before.

00:02:44.000 That shouldn't be a thing.

00:02:46.000 Tucker and Hannity are older than me.

00:02:48.000 They look like spring chickens.

00:02:51.000 Nope.

00:02:56.000 Get Off My Lawn, says Mr. Burns.

00:03:00.000 Whatever happened to those commercials we did?

00:03:02.000 Remember those?

00:03:04.000 Which ones?

00:03:04.000 What?

00:03:05.000 We did a bunch of Get Off My Lawn.

00:03:07.000 Oh, that was only for... We spliced Get Off My Lawn from Gran Torino.

00:03:11.000 Yeah, that was for CRTV, though.

00:03:14.000 Correct, but where did those ever go?

00:03:16.000 I guess we could repurpose them.

00:03:18.000 Remember, they were on YouTube. 0.96

00:03:19.000 That was fucking awesome. 0.95

00:03:20.000 People were like, dude, I just saw you on YouTube. 0.96

00:03:22.000 You don't remember that?

00:03:23.000 We can reshoot them, I guess.

00:03:25.000 Yeah.

00:03:25.000 But do you have them on any hard drive somewhere?

00:03:27.000 Yeah, I think I could find them.

00:03:28.000 Let me see.

00:03:29.000 Because one of them was, Clint Eastwood going, get off my lawn.

00:03:33.000 And then I go, no, you get off my lawn.

00:03:36.000 And then he goes, we used to stack you gooks nine foot high, use you as body bags. 0.98

00:03:41.000 No, use your bags, your bodies as like... Sandbags. 1.00

00:03:45.000 And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:03:45.000 Sandbags. 1.00

00:03:48.000 Just get off my lawn.

00:03:49.000 You were in Korea?

00:03:50.000 You were in the war?

00:03:51.000 Yeah.

00:03:53.000 Before we get started with the show, I think it's very important to announce that I am quitting YouTube.

00:04:03.000 After being perma-banned, I decided that it would be in my best interest to permanently quit the platform to never return.

00:04:14.000 So, uh, I'm done.

00:04:17.000 You know, I made some mistakes in the past.

00:04:20.000 I understand that there are terms of services

00:04:23.000 Broad, and I don't want to try to kowtow to that. 0.72

00:04:27.000 So, as of only three days after YouTube permanently banning me forever, I'm done. 1.00

00:04:36.000 Fuck you, YouTube. 1.00

00:04:37.000 You can't fire me. 1.00

00:04:39.000 I quit.

00:04:42.000 I'd like to tell you about something called ExpressVPN.

00:04:45.000 Now, we're living in

00:04:47.000 Crazy times.

00:04:48.000 Censorship is rampant.

00:04:51.000 I came up with this name, censored.tv, after freespeech.tv had been censored.

00:04:58.000 We are constantly, I had to spend so much time, I should say my tech guy, I had to spend so much time hack-proofing censored.tv.

00:05:07.000 It took forever, and I'm reluctant to even say that because hackers see that as kind of a challenge.

00:05:11.000 But why do we have to do all this?

00:05:14.000 Because we're not living in a free time anymore.

00:05:15.000 We're not living in a First Amendment America.

00:05:17.000 We're not living in a First Amendment world.

00:05:21.000 So this episode is brought to you by expressvpn.com forward slash Gavin.

00:05:26.000 Why should you be using expressvpn.com forward slash Gavin?

00:05:29.000 Because sensor.tv uses expressvpn.com forward slash Gavin.

00:05:34.000 And because we've all searched things we don't want other people seeing.

00:05:37.000 I don't know about that.

00:05:43.000 I don't want them knowing where I shop.

00:05:45.000 I'm not looking at porn.

00:05:48.000 Instinctively, we go to incognito mode, but it really doesn't hide your web activity.

00:05:52.000 Your internet service provider can still see every single website you visited.

00:05:56.000 That's why we're using ExpressVPN.com forward slash Gavin.

00:06:00.000 Protect your online activity today with the VPN rated number one by CNET and Wired.

00:06:06.000 Visit my exclusive link.

00:06:08.000 That's ExpressVPN.com forward slash Gavin and get an extra three months free from Sensor.TV.

00:06:15.000 It does not matter if you're using Verizon, Comcast, whatever, ExpressVPN keeps all of your information secure by encrypting 100% of your data.

00:06:23.000 ExpressVPN.com forward slash Gavin three months free VPN.

00:06:29.000 ExpressVPN.com forward slash Gavin.

00:06:32.000 And also I think the people that can't watch our stuff and remember they were banning us.

00:06:36.000 Yeah, that's a major detail.

00:06:37.000 So Sky News and I think Virgin has banned us in certain places like New Zealand and parts of Britain where people have paid their money.

00:06:48.000 To be, to watch a private show, this, nobody's beeswax. 0.98

00:06:51.000 These guys can watch the most disgusting porn on earth.

00:06:55.000 They can watch snuff films, they can watch people eating live mice, they can watch ISIS videos, ISIS beheadings, they can subscribe to jihadist networks, but you cannot watch censored.tv. 0.94

00:07:08.000 So, if these people use ExpressVPN, they can watch our network.

00:07:13.000 It's crazy!

00:07:16.000 That this show is considered so controversial.

00:07:19.000 The number one solution to watching stuff that's not available in your country?

00:07:24.000 VPN. 0.99

00:07:25.000 I'll tell you what, if I was... Because I remember in the 90s when we started Vice, we were into the craziest shit. 0.98

00:07:31.000 In fact, I was in a band called Leatherass Buttfuck, and we got that name from we were in Amsterdam, and we went up to one of these porn shops, and we're like, what's your worst, craziest thing? 0.99

00:07:44.000 They're like, well, we have this, it's got woman being spankin' schlampin' and funchin' and then there's a lady going pee. 1.00

00:07:51.000 And we're like, I want like, you could get fired for telling me about this. 0.60

00:07:56.000 You have to go to the back room.

00:07:58.000 And the guy was like, all right, I do have something, but it's $15, which when you're, when you're a 24 year old is paying $15 for a magazine is the craziest thing you've ever heard.

00:08:11.000 And we're like, I'm in.

00:08:13.000 Just for fun, you know?

00:08:14.000 It's not like we were dying for porn.

00:08:15.000 So he goes to the back and he comes in a sealed silver laminate bag.

00:08:20.000 $15.

00:08:20.000 You can't look in it.

00:08:21.000 I'm like, I hope this isn't kiddie porn or someone being murdered.

00:08:26.000 So we pay for it and we get it and we go outside.

00:08:29.000 Don't open that in here.

00:08:31.000 I don't want people seeing that you can get this level of insane intensity.

00:08:36.000 So we go, okay.

00:08:38.000 We're about to throw it out, by the way.

00:08:40.000 It's not like we're gonna keep it. 0.98

00:08:41.000 So we open it up, and the mag- the magazine, all one word, leather-ass buttfuck. 1.00

00:08:47.000 And so it's a gay mag, with a bunch of dudes, just like leather, all wearing leather, spanking each other and fornicating and... Just a leather gay mag. 1.00

00:08:57.000 Well that's- This sounds very gay. 1.00

00:08:59.000 There goes my 15 bucks. 0.99

00:09:03.000 Um, expensive prank on you.

00:09:05.000 But so if I was like, because this is back in the early 90s, there was a thing called hate literature, and it wasn't racist or anti-semitic.

00:09:12.000 It was just like serial killer trading cards.

00:09:15.000 Jim Gold was sort of the president of this type of literature.

00:09:19.000 Answer Me was his magazine, but there was a magazine called FUKT. 0.96

00:09:22.000 F-U-K-T. 0.95

00:09:25.000 Sewer Cunt was a big one. 1.00

00:09:28.000 That was from Sweden.

00:09:29.000 And it was just like... It's hard to explain to this generation, this day and age, but it was just like...

00:09:36.000 Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite records.

00:09:38.000 It was just like, bleh.

00:09:40.000 You know what I mean? 0.74

00:09:41.000 Yeah, just filthy. 0.87

00:09:42.000 Just, like, gross. 0.99

00:09:43.000 Filth. 0.97

00:09:44.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:09:44.000 And not gross in the sense that, like, here's the rarest, youngest porn you can find. 0.97

00:09:49.000 It was more just, like, trivializing death.

00:09:52.000 And, like, for example, Debbie Goad worked at a suicide hotline and encouraged people to kill themselves. 0.55

00:09:59.000 So it was just sinister.

00:10:00.000 It's kind of like Crack Magazine.

00:10:03.000 You remember that?

00:10:05.000 It's like Mad Magazine, but just a little filthier?

00:10:10.000 Never heard of that.

00:10:14.000 Did you just freeze?

00:10:23.000 Here, Sten, did I ask you if you knew what Cracked Magazine was? 0.99

00:10:28.000 No, I am floored like Nagasaki that you think I'm talking about fucking Cracked Magazine. 0.99

00:10:39.000 I'm talking about people with their heads cut off. 0.99

00:10:42.000 I'm talking about like an interview with a cannibal.

00:10:47.000 And you're talking about a Mad Magazine ripoff that was just exactly the same as Mad Magazine.

00:10:54.000 Jesus.

00:10:55.000 H. Christ.

00:10:56.000 Ryan, do not contribute to the conversation if you have nothing- Look up Sewer Cunt. 1.00

00:11:02.000 I tried.

00:11:03.000 Yeah, it's probably banned.

00:11:05.000 There's Faces of Death.

00:11:06.000 Yeah, okay, thanks. 0.99

00:11:08.000 I'm familiar with Faces of fucking Death. 0.99

00:11:10.000 Cracked Magazine. 0.99

00:11:12.000 Folks at home who are my age, can you believe what just happened live on the show?

00:11:18.000 I'm talking about the darkest literature ever created, which sometimes got so dark I was like, I'm out.

00:11:24.000 Like, Boyd Rice.

00:11:27.000 I can't handle it.

00:11:28.000 And he's like, what about that cartoon, Cracked, where the guy was like, blech. 0.83

00:11:38.000 Anyway, that was one for the record, dude.

00:11:42.000 Just to sort of clarify who I work with here, Ryan was going to get milkshakes at a local diner, and he said, uh, you want a milkshake?

00:11:50.000 I go, what am I, ten?

00:11:52.000 No, I don't eat ice cream, I don't have candy bars, I don't get a milkshake.

00:11:57.000 What adult male gets a milkshake? 0.91

00:12:02.000 They're tasty.

00:12:03.000 Mmm.

00:12:04.000 Oh, I like when you put M&Ms in it.

00:12:06.000 No, I don't.

00:12:06.000 Do you also trick-or-treat?

00:12:07.000 What was your costume last year? 1.00

00:12:10.000 What were you, a fag? 1.00

00:12:11.000 I was... Because you're supposed to wear a costume. 1.00

00:12:14.000 I helped you scare children.

00:12:17.000 Yes.

00:12:17.000 So I was a zomb.

00:12:19.000 A zomb.

00:12:20.000 Anyway, so he... I guess... I send my text, I go, no, I don't want to fuck it, I don't eat candy.

00:12:25.000 A male. 1.00

00:12:26.000 An adult male.

00:12:27.000 But he got the thing too late.

00:12:29.000 So he comes back to the studio and he's like,

00:12:31.000 There's your shake.

00:12:33.000 I don't... To me, that's a pacifier.

00:12:37.000 Or it's a Pedialyte. 1.00

00:12:39.000 Like it's for fucking babies. 1.00

00:12:43.000 All these guys, even you assholes who have your Dunkin' Donuts Super Coffees with the... Foam? 1.00

00:12:50.000 I don't like the foam. 0.99

00:12:51.000 You know you're a fat chick, right? 1.00

00:12:55.000 Like, you know what? 1.00

00:12:56.000 You're eating a milkshake for a young fat woman, like 15-year-old fatties. 1.00

00:13:01.000 That's what you are if you eat that. 0.99

00:13:03.000 You know what?

00:13:05.000 You swirl it around.

00:13:06.000 So anyway, I'm disgusted.

00:13:07.000 And I go, get this out of here.

00:13:09.000 Put it in the studio fridge.

00:13:11.000 And then he goes, well, that's a waste.

00:13:14.000 So he puts it in the freezer.

00:13:16.000 He thinks I'll probably want it in a couple days.

00:13:18.000 And this is a couple days.

00:13:20.000 We've arrived at a couple days.

00:13:21.000 So he took it out at about, I'm gonna guess what, 6 p.m.?

00:13:24.000 A little later.

00:13:26.000 Okay, so a little too late.

00:13:28.000 7 p.m.?

00:13:28.000 It's not defrosted.

00:13:30.000 He puts it on the counter.

00:13:31.000 He's like, let's let that defrost and I can have a delicious children's treat.

00:13:38.000 Sure.

00:13:40.000 You're basically E.T.

00:13:41.000 You're like Reese's Pieces.

00:13:43.000 I like a nice sweet treat every now and then.

00:13:47.000 Anyway, um, so I'm in the kitchen.

00:13:50.000 Not really a kitchen, it's just like a fridge and a counter.

00:13:53.000 And, uh, I go, that's my milkshake?

00:13:55.000 He goes, yeah, yeah, I just froze it and then I'm gonna thaw it out a little bit. 0.99

00:13:59.000 He's always really enthusiastic about his bullshit. 0.99

00:14:01.000 Like, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:14:03.000 Stepped on a rat, and I'm gonna see if it stinks in a few days.

00:14:08.000 It's usually hemorrhaging blood, because it ate rat poison.

00:14:11.000 So we'll see what happens, and I'll clean it up.

00:14:13.000 I'm invested in my own life.

00:14:14.000 There's a lot of rat feces around here, so I knew he was nearby.

00:14:19.000 So he goes, not sure it's ready.

00:14:22.000 And this is the whole point of the story.

00:14:24.000 He squeezes it, right?

00:14:26.000 Not sure it's ready.

00:14:27.000 And then he goes like this. 0.99

00:14:32.000 Who the fuck sniffs a milkshake? 1.00

00:14:35.000 What do you expect to smell? 1.00

00:14:36.000 Rotten jizz? 0.89

00:14:38.000 What is gonna be in the milkshake that stinks?

00:14:40.000 They don't go bad!

00:14:41.000 They're frozen!

00:14:43.000 Well, the thing is... And it was two days ago!

00:14:46.000 Like, even if it was warm milk... If it was warm milk that was sat on the counter for the past two days, it still wouldn't go bad.

00:14:54.000 Oh, no.

00:14:55.000 Oh, no, no, no, no.

00:14:56.000 That would go bad, of course.

00:14:57.000 No, that would not go bad, of course.

00:14:58.000 Remember Maniscalco talking about the ice cubes smell like vegetables?

00:15:02.000 I mean, what does it mean?

00:15:04.000 So you were worried it would smell of the freezer?

00:15:06.000 Well, yeah, that freezer, that, that chemically freezer, frayon stuff.

00:15:12.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:15:13.000 I feel like Billy Connolly here.

00:15:14.000 That was a million tangents to get back to.

00:15:18.000 If I was a weirdo who was into like the latest, weirdest, coolest, what's the most banned thing?

00:15:24.000 What can I not see?

00:15:26.000 Nazi.

00:15:27.000 You can not see Nazis.

00:15:29.000 Who has a .50?

00:15:31.000 Pifty, of course, is the EGOT of band.

00:15:34.000 PayPal, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube.

00:15:38.000 I have a pifty.

00:15:39.000 I have the EGOT.

00:15:40.000 And then you've paid the money, you saw this show, and you went, what?

00:15:43.000 Is it- can he at least be racist? 1.00

00:15:46.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:15:48.000 This is the most banned man in America? 1.00

00:15:51.000 This is lame!

00:15:52.000 Yeah, I agree with you, dude.

00:15:54.000 America is at- I don't wanna say America's lame, but America is at a lame point.

00:16:04.000 But before we get to the piffties, I cannot recommend enough Blue Chew. 0.92

00:16:10.000 This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew.

00:16:12.000 Do you need a little extra oomph in the bedroom?

00:16:14.000 Then you need Blue Chew. 0.88

00:16:16.000 Is your girlfriend constantly bitching, making you limp like Linguini? 1.00

00:16:21.000 Dude, I'm not reading these anymore. 0.97

00:16:23.000 You gotta not write these.

00:16:26.000 Like, actually, your girlfriend bitching, I think, would kind of turn you on a little bit. 0.99

00:16:32.000 It's your girlfriend not giving a fuck whether you're home or not. 1.00

00:16:35.000 And watching Real Housewives on her laptop alone in her room. 0.99

00:16:39.000 That's the linguine.

00:16:42.000 But, uh, go to bluechew.com.

00:16:44.000 This is... I'm not sure I'm allowed to say this, but it's all the active ingredients of Viagra.

00:16:49.000 But for a fraction of the price.

00:16:51.000 A fraction of the price.

00:16:52.000 You go to bluechew.com, use promo code GAVIN, your first order's free, just pay $5 shipping, no embarrassing doctor visits, www dot, in case you're...

00:17:03.000 89 years old, and you don't understand that www.

00:17:06.000 just automatically does it when you type it in a URL, Vincent.

00:17:10.000 Bluechew.com, promo code Gavin.

00:17:13.000 Bluechew.com, promo code Gavin.

00:17:16.000 And I've said this every time I talk about this thing, if you're single, you should always have it in your wallet for emergencies.

00:17:24.000 You might do a little too much hokey pokey.

00:17:26.000 I don't know.

00:17:27.000 And you might have trouble getting hokey pokey.

00:17:29.000 That's when you bring in the big guns.

00:17:31.000 Hokey pokey?

00:17:32.000 Or if you're married.

00:17:34.000 No, no, no, no.

00:17:34.000 What are you doing?

00:17:37.000 Okay.

00:17:38.000 If you're married.

00:17:39.000 And you finally get a night.

00:17:41.000 You finally get an opening.

00:17:42.000 The kids are finally gone or asleep.

00:17:45.000 And something's not working for you.

00:17:46.000 You need to have this.

00:17:47.000 You know what it's like?

00:17:49.000 It's like, um, what's that thing called?

00:17:51.000 An alternator?

00:17:53.000 What do you have?

00:17:53.000 A generator!

00:17:54.000 Like, in my house, when the power goes out, I spent a fortune, like 13 grand, on this giant fridge that's next to my house.

00:18:03.000 And as soon as the power goes out, there's a thing in the fuse box that goes click, and just goes chk!

00:18:11.000 And our power can never go out.

00:18:13.000 I have a backup.

00:18:14.000 I have a plan B. By the way, Anthony's fucking backup is literally the size of this studio. 0.99

00:18:21.000 He can still heat his pool. 0.99

00:18:23.000 I'm not exaggerating.

00:18:24.000 Yeah, no, he's talked about it for years.

00:18:26.000 It's as big as the studio.

00:18:29.000 Like, if you lived in Manhattan in the East Village and someone offered you an apartment the size of the generator for his house, you'd go, yes!

00:18:37.000 Yeah.

00:18:37.000 I'm rich!

00:18:39.000 You would be jazzed.

00:18:40.000 This is a great, like, three grand a month?

00:18:43.000 Absolutely.

00:18:44.000 It's the size of our studio.

00:18:46.000 Yeah.

00:18:46.000 So I think it's good for him for, like, three weeks or something.

00:18:49.000 And then he goes, after that, I would just rob people with a gun for propane.

00:18:55.000 All right.

00:18:57.000 Speaking of being banned, I want to put together a chart of a sort of a hierarchy of bandness.

00:19:06.000 Now I'm sure there's an EGOT chart.

00:19:10.000 Look that up.

00:19:12.000 EGOT chart, where they have like John, Chrissy Teigen's husband, I think has one.

00:19:18.000 Whoopi Goldberg has one.

00:19:22.000 What's that now?

00:19:23.000 So EGOT is a noun.

00:19:25.000 You are an EGOT if you have won all these things.

00:19:29.000 I don't know, but... This is how long it took them to get that, so... So who, are all those EGOTs?

00:19:36.000 Yes.

00:19:37.000 I don't like the way they did that chart.

00:19:40.000 But I get it, okay.

00:19:41.000 So I think Pifty is much smaller than that.

00:19:45.000 Mel Brooks?

00:19:47.000 What a weird combination of names.

00:19:50.000 Are they all Jewish?

00:19:51.000 Who the hell's Robert Lopez?

00:19:54.000 Who's Robert Lopez?

00:19:55.000 Who's Robert Lopez?

00:19:58.000 Robert Lopez, if you're watching, please call in during the call-in session.

00:20:02.000 Who are you? 1.00

00:20:03.000 Who the fuck? 1.00

00:20:05.000 He won all things? 1.00

00:20:07.000 Oh, he's probably a composer.

00:20:09.000 Yeah.

00:20:11.000 Good work, Rob.

00:20:15.000 Nickels, probably same thing.

00:20:17.000 There's a tick crawling on the ceiling.

00:20:19.000 What?

00:20:19.000 That might be what gave you Lyme.

00:20:23.000 I'll take care of that. 0.99

00:20:27.000 So you're a weird homo about bugs, right? 1.00

00:20:29.000 No, that's not a tick. 0.96

00:20:32.000 If it's a tick, we have to prevent anybody from getting hurt.

00:20:38.000 Anyway, so all I can think of who has a pifty is Laura Loomer, Enrique Tarrio, Alex Jones.

00:20:45.000 And it's kind of hard to ask people because some people, like Roger Stone, I don't know if he's tried to have a YouTube channel.

00:20:53.000 So luckily I know most of these people.

00:20:55.000 I'm going to be texting them over the course of the next week or so, the weekend, and say, are you banned from YouTube or you just don't have a YouTube?

00:21:04.000 Because I think Milo is an ift.

00:21:08.000 I think he's only been banned from Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. 0.95

00:21:10.000 I thought he was a poof. 1.00

00:21:13.000 That's what's fun about pifty.

00:21:15.000 Ifty sounds funny.

00:21:17.000 Ift sounds funny.

00:21:19.000 So we'll have a chart, a pifty chart.

00:21:22.000 But as far as I know, cause PayPal is the ultimate jewel.

00:21:26.000 Being banned from YouTube is easy, but being banned from a payment system where you can pay your rent.

00:21:33.000 And they don't want your money.

00:21:34.000 They don't want your money. 0.92

00:21:35.000 It's dirty.

00:21:37.000 And what about the banks, too?

00:21:38.000 Because you got Chase, Chase Bank, Loomer, and Tario are off of Chase.

00:21:45.000 Yep.

00:21:46.000 So is it piff-de-bluh?

00:21:48.000 No.

00:21:49.000 No, that counts as PayPal.

00:21:50.000 PayPal sort of counts as banking, I'm going to say.

00:21:55.000 Soon you're going to have to add cell phone carriers in there.

00:21:58.000 In other news, I fought a giant beast today at the gym.

00:22:06.000 And it is the worst thing in the world.

00:22:09.000 Do you know why?

00:22:10.000 Why?

00:22:11.000 Not because they punch you, but because the only way you could not get punched by a beast is to just be constantly punching him.

00:22:20.000 So it's the most exhausting thing imaginable.

00:22:24.000 Like I told you I bring a Home Depot bucket full of ice and I put water in it to dip my head in because I can't handle these temperatures.

00:22:32.000 But fighting someone, like the big guys, what they do is they just, they wear you out and they block all the punches and wait for the one time to give you the big Deontay Wilder super punch.

00:22:42.000 I don't want that, obviously.

00:22:44.000 So I just keep going.

00:22:46.000 It's sort of like getting laid. 0.97

00:22:47.000 You're just talking, talking, talking, talking, talking, talking, hoping they don't notice that you have a boner. 0.88

00:22:55.000 And I did have a boner in the ring today. 0.94

00:22:59.000 All right, should we start the show?

00:23:02.000 Oh, it's kind of weird here.

00:23:04.000 So this is still going to be on censored YouTube.

00:23:08.000 So I'm still careful about what I say, I guess. 0.98

00:23:12.000 Not that I really give a fuck anymore. 0.98

00:23:14.000 You know, to be totally honest, I'm 50 years old. 0.97

00:23:20.000 And I started Vice Magazine so I could say whatever I want. 0.99

00:23:25.000 And back in the 90s, back in answer me days, we could do the craziest shit. 0.99

00:23:31.000 The Vice Guide to Slavery. 1.00

00:23:33.000 I had an interview with God, all the races I hate. 1.00

00:23:37.000 Of course you'd include whites in there. 0.98

00:23:41.000 Um, and the satire was, you know, palpable.

00:23:44.000 You could figure it out. 1.00

00:23:46.000 Jokes like, uh, women think I'm sexist cause they're too stupid to get my jokes. 1.00

00:23:53.000 Like that's a Norm Macdonald type of joke that explains itself. 0.99

00:23:56.000 But in this day and age, you can't do that anymore.

00:23:58.000 So I started it up, it got to Kowtow Town.

00:24:03.000 I had to get the hell out of town.

00:24:05.000 And then I did an ad agency and stuff.

00:24:07.000 And then I did CRTV.

00:24:09.000 And I thought, all right, let's try to be mainstream.

00:24:13.000 As one of the guys at CRTV who set it all up said, you want your kids to be able to watch your show. 0.99

00:24:17.000 And so I tried that for a while, and I didn't say fuck even. 0.99

00:24:20.000 Did not swear. 0.99

00:24:20.000 We had to bleep every curse. 0.99

00:24:22.000 Yeah.

00:24:22.000 Crowder.

00:24:23.000 We were very Crowder-esque. 0.99

00:24:24.000 I remember I let the word cunt slip once. 0.99

00:24:27.000 I was like, my heart was racing. 0.98

00:24:28.000 What have I done?

00:24:30.000 It was great.

00:24:31.000 And I was just like, I don't do that anymore.

00:24:33.000 So then we have this and it's finally our pirate ship.

00:24:35.000 We can do whatever we want. 0.99

00:24:36.000 But on Thursdays we have to kiss YouTube ass. 0.98

00:24:40.000 And when I was finally booted, I was sort of like, all right, finally we can chill out and make jokes like 1.00

00:24:50.000 Women think I'm sexist because they're stupid. 1.00

00:24:51.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:24:57.000 I've never looked at the censored Dot TV's YouTube before.

00:25:00.000 It's been pretty active lately. 0.96

00:25:03.000 The accounts are pathetic. 0.98

00:25:05.000 Yeah, a little bit. 0.99

00:25:07.000 10,000, 2,000, 3,000.

00:25:09.000 But you know what?

00:25:11.000 Short by biggest hits.

00:25:14.000 That's all that matters.

00:25:15.000 Most popular.

00:25:21.000 Half a million.

00:25:21.000 Okay, so that's just a sizzle reel, copper cab.

00:25:23.000 Quarter million, another quarter million.

00:25:26.000 Joe Rogan.

00:25:27.000 I should talk about Joe Rogan, I guess, more and make fun of celebrities more.

00:25:31.000 Dude, there was a time, look at all this.

00:25:33.000 There was a time when they didn't, remember when we knew that we were being compressed?

00:25:36.000 Oh look, that's interesting.

00:25:37.000 They're all from the same time.

00:25:38.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:39.000 Ten months ago, nine months ago, nine months ago, eight months ago, nine months ago, ten months ago, eight months ago.

00:25:46.000 We started being squished, for sure.

00:25:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:49.000 So at that point, you're just sort of like, fuck you. 1.00

00:25:51.000 Yeah, it's very disheartening. 0.99

00:25:53.000 But there's clips from all shows on there for anybody curious.

00:25:56.000 Okay, so as we get close to the end, and I thought we were banned from podcasts, but we're still on podcasts.

00:26:05.000 When I'm doing the Pifty, you have to sort of draw the line, right?

00:26:09.000 Like, I'm not going to include podcasts, I'm not going to include Chase, and I'm not going to include MailChimp.

00:26:13.000 For example, which we're banned from.

00:26:15.000 And I believe we're banned from- I'm banned from Pinterest.

00:26:18.000 Which is very painful.

00:26:20.000 Because I love clicking on my favorite socks.

00:26:24.000 But check out this video, 1-1.

00:26:26.000 Who's Jenna Marbles again? 0.99

00:26:28.000 She does, like, corny Zoomer comedy, right?

00:26:33.000 Yeah, well, she was big back in, like, Jersey Shore days, kinda.

00:26:36.000 Is she pretty or not? 1.00

00:26:37.000 It's hard to tell with women. 1.00

00:26:39.000 I don't know.

00:26:40.000 I don't know.

00:26:42.000 All right, so I get it.

00:26:44.000 No, but she might clean up good, you know? 1.00

00:26:46.000 By the way, dads, if your daughter's wearing that around her neck, she's a slut. 1.00

00:26:50.000 That's a slut thing. 1.00

00:26:52.000 Where we are purging ourselves of anything and everything toxic.

00:26:58.000 And I'm being requested that I address things that I've done in my past.

00:27:08.000 I also get a lot of tweets from people that are saying like, we love you, you unproblematic queen, which always makes me uncomfortable. 0.99

00:27:17.000 Look at the fucking kowtowing of white America. 1.00

00:27:21.000 No masochism. 1.00

00:27:23.000 It is pathetic. 1.00

00:27:26.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:27:27.000 Maybe it's because America is mostly genetically Germanic and I'm Scottish. 1.00

00:27:33.000 I just see this fucking constant capitulation is revolting. 0.99

00:27:40.000 Like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon trying to preemptive strike their imminent demise. 0.99

00:27:48.000 Turn this up.

00:27:50.000 Okay, so pause. 0.97

00:27:54.000 So everyone is, all these white people are paranoid about someone going back in their past and finding a dumb joke that will be taken out of context. 0.99

00:28:00.000 Because they see someone like Tina Fey, who mocked blackface, getting a shit for even having blackface existing. 1.00

00:28:07.000 I want to explain something to you. 0.96

00:28:08.000 We're going to explain this after the break, after the paywall.

00:28:11.000 Um, they don't want your apologies.

00:28:14.000 When I say they, I mostly mean BLM and Antifa and the alt-left.

00:28:20.000 They don't want your apologies.

00:28:21.000 They want revenge.

00:28:24.000 They want to hurt you. 0.99

00:28:26.000 They want separate drinking fountains, but they want them to have the good drinking fountain and you to have the shitty drinking fountain. 0.98

00:28:34.000 When Lexie Page,

00:28:36.000 was taken from her family on the Indian Reunification Act, whatever it's called, because she was 1.2% Native American and to move her to this family would make that particular family like 1.6, because there was another 1.1 there.

00:28:53.000 I said, this is insane.

00:28:55.000 You're, you're ripping a girl from her foster parents who love her.

00:28:58.000 Those siblings are her siblings.

00:29:01.000 And I talked to Indians.

00:29:03.000 I forget what the tribe was.

00:29:04.000 I don't think it was Cherokee.

00:29:07.000 Sioux?

00:29:08.000 And I said, guys, I managed to get a hold of one who was remotely involved in the case and was in that same district.

00:29:15.000 And she said, basically like a black woman almost.

00:29:18.000 Choctaw.

00:29:19.000 Choctaw.

00:29:20.000 She said, yeah, this is what we went through all those years.

00:29:23.000 I was like, okay, I get it. 0.69

00:29:24.000 Stab me. 0.99

00:29:26.000 Like put cigarettes out in my eyes if you want revenge. 0.99

00:29:29.000 This girl's four.

00:29:31.000 And then she wouldn't call me back.

00:29:32.000 Because it wasn't about justice, it's about revenge.

00:29:37.000 So you see this in Israel, too, with the Palestinians.

00:29:40.000 They don't want a beautiful, equitable relationship with Israel. 0.93

00:29:45.000 They want to be Israel. 0.99

00:29:46.000 They want to kick all the Jews out and sit there in their chairs and have their world and then have the Jews outside and in Palestine. 1.00

00:29:54.000 They want to switch places. 0.99

00:29:56.000 That's what this is about.

00:29:58.000 And we saw this in South Africa, where they said, I want that.

00:30:02.000 I want your farm.

00:30:03.000 OK, here.

00:30:04.000 And then...

00:30:07.000 The farm deteriorates.

00:30:08.000 So this woman is basically giving up her content farm and I promise you no one will pick up the slack and it'll just be less farming on YouTube. 1.00

00:30:19.000 You stupid bitch. 1.00

00:30:20.000 I always try to do that and I try to make fun content, inclusive content. 1.00

00:30:26.000 Yeah, you did.

00:30:27.000 Things that don't offend people or upset people and

00:30:32.000 That's kind of where I am.

00:30:34.000 Okay, just pause.

00:30:34.000 Can we just see her most popular video?

00:30:37.000 Because I'm old.

00:30:40.000 And young queers like you probably like... I've never gotten a gentleman. 1.00

00:30:45.000 Jenna is awesome! 0.98

00:30:46.000 How can you not know all the time she went and she got a milkshake and then she froze it and thawed it out and smelled it.

00:30:52.000 I don't know her kind.

00:30:54.000 I bet her top video is like a billion views.

00:30:56.000 Yeah, she was big back in the day. 0.98

00:30:59.000 She used to be like a... What's this? 0.99

00:31:00.000 Oh, just 69 million views.

00:31:03.000 Nine years ago.

00:31:04.000 How to trick people into thinking you're good-looking.

00:31:05.000 Hello there, friends, and welcome to my tutorial on how to trick people into thinking you're really good-looking. 0.99

00:31:12.000 If you were born really ugly like me, have no fear. 0.51

00:31:15.000 There's steps you can take to be good-looking, kind of. 0.98

00:31:18.000 I've already taken some steps before we even start. 0.95

00:31:21.000 I bleached the absolute shit out of my hair, and I tanned my skin to pull that off. 0.87

00:31:26.000 So it's very sort of mediocre, good, clean, like, fun. 0.98

00:31:31.000 Like, Nickelodeon jokes.

00:31:33.000 Yeah.

00:31:34.000 With the odd swear word. 0.99

00:31:35.000 Silly dancing and stuff like that. 0.98

00:31:37.000 I remember there was some dance video. 0.98

00:31:38.000 Wait, keep going with that?

00:31:41.000 So there you have it. 1.00

00:31:42.000 Tricking people into thinking that you're good looking when you're really just a fucking weirdo. 0.98

00:31:47.000 I realize that this video is not helpful to men. 0.99

00:31:50.000 You're just gonna have to find a girl that thinks you're funny.

00:31:54.000 Great.

00:31:55.000 Standard meat and potatoes comedy.

00:31:59.000 And the mob came after her.

00:32:04.000 Alright, so we're going to get more into Black Lives Matter and the mob and how dangerous they can be and what went on in Brixton last night where they attacked the police and then got mad at the police for not coming back when they were stabbing each other. 0.99

00:32:17.000 But that's for people who pay.

00:32:20.000 And soon,

00:32:22.000 I imagine this will only be behind the paint wall, and I won't have to differentiate.

00:32:27.000 But in the post-roll giveaway, meaning after we cut the cord here, we will be having some pretty insane giveaways involving JohnnyAppleCBD.

00:32:38.000 I want to give a shout out to JohnnyAppleCBD, by the way.

00:32:42.000 They were there for us from the very beginning.

00:32:45.000 Also JohnnyApple.com, both work.

00:32:48.000 They're for patriots of free speech, CBD.

00:32:51.000 Johnny Apple CBD is my CBD right now.

00:32:53.000 All of my listeners get 20% off all orders.

00:32:56.000 Go to JACBD.com.

00:32:59.000 Enter promo code Gavin, get 20% off.

00:33:01.000 JACBD.com.

00:33:02.000 Promo code Gavin, 20% off.

00:33:05.000 And tonight, the first four listeners to email an ExpressVPN signup confirmation form

00:33:15.000 And that's at ExpressVPN forward slash Gavin.

00:33:19.000 The first four listeners to sign up for ExpressVPN and send proof of their confirmation, I guess that could be just be called confirmation, to mailbag at censored.tv get a loot crate and a box of meat sticks.

00:33:36.000 Obviously this only pertains to subscribers.

00:33:40.000 So I shouldn't have said that until we were behind the paywall.

00:33:45.000 All right, kiddies.

00:33:46.000 One of our fans posted that they got the meat sticks.

00:33:48.000 It was like a bunch of them.

00:33:49.000 They look great.

00:33:51.000 So I was like, can you send me some of those meat sticks?

00:33:55.000 Why would you ask someone for their food?

00:33:57.000 No, not the fan.

00:33:59.000 I asked our advertiser guy.

00:34:00.000 Oh, I was like, you got some meat sticks?

00:34:02.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:34:26.000 Marathon.

00:34:29.000 Ryan's like, OK, we got 34 seconds for the music.

00:34:32.000 Why?

00:34:32.000 Because that song's so important?

00:34:36.000 Them's the rules.

00:34:38.000 By the way, I had an important thought today.

00:34:42.000 So the guy who made me that music, he has a cafe and down in California.

00:34:49.000 And he said, uh, yeah, my employees found out I'm a proud boy.

00:34:53.000 They're thinking of quitting.

00:34:54.000 Um, and that worked itself out.

00:34:57.000 But then he said, some woman's coming over and she wants to talk cause she's worried about a Dylan Roof type shooting if I'm a fascist or something. 1.00

00:35:05.000 And that worked itself out.

00:35:06.000 And then he said, this is all by the way in a week.

00:35:08.000 And then he goes, Oh, my wife, Jen is, um, getting kicked out of her book club cause we're MAGA. 1.00

00:35:17.000 And I said to him, what I say to everyone when this kind of shit happens, I think our biggest problem is we put our brains in their brains and we go, no, no, that's not what happened. 0.97

00:35:29.000 And we assume like they're like us and they're looking for logic and truth and reasoning. 1.00

00:35:34.000 No, you're, you're talking to a piece of shit. 1.00

00:35:38.000 Don't waste your time talking to human garbage. 1.00

00:35:41.000 And I know this sounds classist, like I'm rich and smart and they're poor and dumb. 1.00

00:35:45.000 Some of my best friends are poor and dumb. 1.00

00:35:48.000 And I'm a fucking loser when it comes to a million things, like cars and guns and that kind of knowledge. 1.00

00:35:54.000 So I'm not talking about that. 1.00

00:35:55.000 When I say piece of shit, I just mean someone who is dishonest and doesn't want 0.99

00:36:02.000 for everyone to figure it out, to get better. 1.00

00:36:06.000 These people are just shit, like the gremlins, like Jared Holt, who report on us and try to sabotage our lives and send this quote to this person out of context. 1.00

00:36:16.000 You can't sit there and go, no, no, no, that quote's out of context. 1.00

00:36:19.000 No, hey, what did you do?

00:36:21.000 They're just like flies. 1.00

00:36:24.000 They're garbage. 1.00

00:36:25.000 They've never accomplished anything. 1.00

00:36:27.000 They'll have no legacy.

00:36:28.000 They'll have no children, by the way.

00:36:32.000 So I said to him, it's not like I, Gavin, your friend, your peer, I didn't kick Jen out of her book club. 1.00

00:36:40.000 Some useless cunt did. 1.00

00:36:42.000 And the only thing your wife should be worried about is her bad judgment to start a book club with flies. 1.00

00:36:50.000 So it's such a waste of time to sit and try to explain.

00:36:54.000 Like, for example, I heard this black guy who was shot in Chaz is now saying it was a Proud Boy.

00:37:00.000 And I go, oh, Jesus, that can't

00:37:02.000 I look it up and it turns out he refused to talk to the police.

00:37:06.000 And then, um, one of the guys died.

00:37:10.000 They both refused to talk to the police.

00:37:11.000 Hold on a second.

00:37:17.000 And one of the guys died.

00:37:18.000 That was too much of indecence.

00:37:20.000 And, uh, so then obviously Chas people got in his head.

00:37:25.000 And he made a statement to the press today.

00:37:29.000 And he goes, yeah, so I was outside of Chaz.

00:37:32.000 I wasn't even in Chaz.

00:37:33.000 And then I called the police because I'd been shot.

00:37:35.000 And they didn't care.

00:37:37.000 And the guy I looked up, I couldn't tell if he was KKK or Proud Boys.

00:37:42.000 But he shot me. 1.00

00:37:44.000 He said, fucking nigger. 1.00

00:37:48.000 Proud Boys or KKK. 1.00

00:37:49.000 I couldn't tell if it was a Fred Perry or a Clint Eastwood.

00:37:54.000 Or what?

00:37:55.000 Or clanhood, yeah.

00:37:56.000 Clanhood, yeah.

00:37:56.000 They look so similar.

00:37:57.000 And I just look at that and I'm like, normally me, if a year or two ago, I'd go, what?

00:38:04.000 No, no, no.

00:38:05.000 That guy, and I want to explain it to people, that guy didn't have a statement before, and how do you confuse KKK and Proud Boy?

00:38:10.000 What does KKK mean?

00:38:12.000 Like a KKK patch? 0.87

00:38:14.000 Oh no, you know why?

00:38:16.000 They're probably like, and by the way, we're

00:38:18.000 And they sound very similar.

00:38:20.000 But also he was fading because of his bullet wound.

00:38:24.000 Oh. 1.00

00:38:25.000 And one thing you should know, that you just got shot by the motherfucking girl. 1.00

00:38:34.000 God, I couldn't care, I can't remember if it was a puh or a kuh. 1.00

00:38:39.000 So you just look at that and you laugh. 1.00

00:38:41.000 And you go, what a fucking dumb liar. 1.00

00:38:43.000 Another Bubba Wallace, another Juicy Smoley. 1.00

00:38:47.000 And there will be people that believe this horseshit. 0.98

00:38:51.000 And you laugh at them! 1.00

00:38:53.000 Stop putting your brain, like I remember when I first moved to New York City in 1999, I'd see bums and I'd go, oh man, that sucks. 1.00

00:39:00.000 You're homeless and you got dreads and you fucking reek. 1.00

00:39:03.000 And then I'd be walking around and I'd see like a building where you don't have to buzz to get in. 1.00

00:39:09.000 And then I'd see a little enclave above a door.

00:39:12.000 I was like, you could come here late at night, sleep there, right?

00:39:16.000 You could put a little, that curtain you could put there and hide there, right?

00:39:21.000 No one would see you come in.

00:39:23.000 And then after a while you could wash dishes, and you'd get enough money to maybe get a roommate, right?

00:39:30.000 You wash up and stuff, cut your hair with your dishes money, and then answer an ad on Craigslist for a roommate, maybe 600 bucks a month, 700 bucks a month, then you could maybe start adding, that could add up, maybe you could have your own apartment eventually, and I'm like, I'm just making me the bum! 0.81

00:39:46.000 He's a bum. 0.89

00:39:48.000 The flies are flies. 0.97

00:39:49.000 What are you gonna do?

00:39:50.000 Explain to them the truth?

00:39:51.000 I'm not racist.

00:39:52.000 I'm not racist.

00:39:55.000 No, it wasn't Proud Boys that shot that guy.

00:39:57.000 It wasn't Proud Boys.

00:40:01.000 As a friend of mine said, let the dogs yap.

00:40:06.000 It really is.

00:40:07.000 It didn't have a lot of impact when he said that to me the first time.

00:40:11.000 Reporter identifies man who assaulted him and tried to steal his phone.

00:40:13.000 Isn't that the guy who got shot?

00:40:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:15.000 Andy Ngo identified him as the guy who stole his phone and assaulted him on June 14th.

00:40:22.000 And that's when Andy Ngo called the KKK Proud Boys.

00:40:25.000 Right.

00:40:26.000 And said, I need you to go into Chaz and get revenge. 1.00

00:40:29.000 Yeah.

00:40:29.000 That's the thing.

00:40:30.000 I'll describe him.

00:40:30.000 He's a black man with short hair.

00:40:33.000 Here's another thing they always say. 0.93

00:40:35.000 They say Andy Ngo provides kill lists for Atomwaffen.

00:40:40.000 Like that sounds like Chinese to you, and it should, because it's fly talk. 0.99

00:40:44.000 This is all how, this is all bzzz, this is how flies talk. 0.99

00:40:49.000 So Atomwaffen is this esoteric white power group of a bunch of little kids that has had zero impact on society, and they've had like three deaths associated with them, and two of them have been them getting killed by people, Muslims and shit. 0.99

00:41:04.000 And the idea that Atomwaffen is looking for people to kill, 0.99

00:41:09.000 Like a Santa list.

00:41:11.000 And they're just like, oh, okay.

00:41:13.000 Uh, we're in the ends now.

00:41:15.000 Andy NGO.

00:41:16.000 Okay. 0.99

00:41:17.000 Can someone kill Andy? 0.97

00:41:18.000 No.

00:41:20.000 How do you know who Andy No is?

00:41:21.000 Um.

00:41:24.000 His name was provided to us.

00:41:26.000 Kill list? 0.73

00:41:27.000 Like you're a kid.

00:41:28.000 You're playing a video game.

00:41:30.000 Remember the quote we talked about the other day?

00:41:33.000 Proud Boys are going to be in Portland. 0.99

00:41:35.000 They'll be shooting anyone who looks Mexican or gay. 1.00

00:41:37.000 Right. 1.00

00:41:38.000 See, I think another problem is we have way too much access to way too many stupid quotes. 1.00

00:41:45.000 So I'm talking about flies buzzing around you. 1.00

00:41:47.000 You usually only see a fly if it's in the room you're in.

00:41:50.000 Right now, we're seeing all of the flies in America. 0.99

00:41:54.000 So we pick up our fly meter and we go... We go, what the fuck's going on? 0.99

00:42:01.000 I got a lot of fixing to do. 0.99

00:42:03.000 No you don't.

00:42:04.000 There's just flies. 1.00

00:42:07.000 Don't waste your fucking time with the flies. 1.00

00:42:10.000 Enjoy them. 1.00

00:42:12.000 Have a good laugh.

00:42:13.000 Yeah, but at my work they'll fire me. 0.63

00:42:14.000 And get fired.

00:42:16.000 Get in trouble.

00:42:17.000 My cousin got fired because he was MAGA.

00:42:20.000 He's had a new job now. 0.99

00:42:21.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.99

00:42:23.000 There was some bitch complaining about the fridge. 1.00

00:42:25.000 The lack of variety of snacks. 0.99

00:42:27.000 They fired her. 1.00

00:42:28.000 And now the fridge is just beer.

00:42:30.000 All different types of beer.

00:42:33.000 It all seems to work out.

00:42:34.000 Yeah, it'll work out.

00:42:37.000 Anyway, also in the news, so Jenna Marbles has quit YouTube just like me. 1.00

00:42:45.000 We both quit together, holding hands.

00:42:50.000 She probably didn't.

00:42:50.000 You can quit YouTube after you're banned.

00:42:54.000 Yeah.

00:42:55.000 It's just your way of saying I'm not coming back.

00:42:59.000 I never liked you anyway.

00:43:02.000 Um, so Carpe donked him.

00:43:03.000 We had him on the show this week.

00:43:05.000 Uh, he was kicked off of Twitter for violating the copyright of a toddler video, which was a black boy and a white boy running towards another.

00:43:15.000 And that was a major symbol that shocks the world because it's unfathomable to us that a black kid and a white kid could be friends.

00:43:24.000 We've never heard of such a thing. 1.00

00:43:26.000 So when we see it, we go, what the fuck? 0.99

00:43:31.000 Shouldn't he be, shouldn't, what the, shouldn't they be stabbing each other? 1.00

00:43:35.000 Shouldn't the white kid be dragging the black kid behind his pickup truck? 1.00

00:43:40.000 They can't! 0.96

00:43:41.000 This is like, remember that commercial where they had the screen, the x-ray screen?

00:43:47.000 You gotta find that, man.

00:43:50.000 It was like for, I think it was for a soap, but it was about love knows no boundaries.

00:43:55.000 And it was a Macklemore song.

00:43:58.000 And they go behind this.

00:43:59.000 So they start behind the screen.

00:44:01.000 You just see skeletons.

00:44:03.000 And then the skeletons go like this, like, and you go, well, the only relationships possible are a white male and a white female.

00:44:11.000 Those are the only people that can love, right?

00:44:15.000 Yeah, this is it. 0.94

00:44:16.000 And then they come out from behind the screen and it's like lesbians. 1.00

00:44:20.000 And you go, wait, what? 0.82

00:44:24.000 There are lesbians on earth? 1.00

00:44:27.000 Like, how did I know that word?

00:44:29.000 If I'm shocked.

00:44:30.000 But one of the most egregious ones was they come out and it's a little girl with Down syndrome and her brother.

00:44:36.000 And they're like, wait a minute, are you accusing me of not thinking that a handicapped child deserves love?

00:44:44.000 Look at the way they react. 1.00

00:44:44.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:44:46.000 Is that throwing tomatoes? 1.00

00:44:47.000 I can't change!

00:44:51.000 See?

00:44:51.000 Lesbians can love each other.

00:44:53.000 Yay! 1.00

00:44:54.000 I give a shit! 1.00

00:44:57.000 I give a shit that lesbians are in love. 1.00

00:45:00.000 Wait, what's this? 1.00

00:45:01.000 It's a white male and a white female, right? 0.86

00:45:04.000 That's the only kind of love there is.

00:45:06.000 Wait, whoa, whoa!

00:45:07.000 No, no, no, no, no, no!

00:45:09.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

00:45:11.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

00:45:13.000 You'll notice this too, by the way, when you see mixed race couples that are black and white, especially if it's a black woman and another.

00:45:19.000 They walk down the street holding hands, looking at you like, well, what do you think of this? 1.00

00:45:23.000 And you're like, I don't fucking care that you're sucking the dick of someone you love. 1.00

00:45:28.000 You're not brave. 1.00

00:45:30.000 You're in a relationship.

00:45:31.000 Oh, there it is.

00:45:32.000 There it is.

00:45:32.000 Go back.

00:45:33.000 Go back.

00:45:35.000 Wait, are they children?

00:45:36.000 Just go back.

00:45:36.000 This makes me physically ill.

00:45:39.000 To see Down Syndrome people with love?

00:45:41.000 Yes, they don't deserve love! 1.00

00:45:43.000 They're retarded! 1.00

00:45:45.000 They need to be exterminated! 1.00

00:45:50.000 Yay! 1.00

00:45:51.000 Oh, that's her sister, right? 1.00

00:45:52.000 I love my fucking handicapped sister! 1.00

00:45:54.000 And they're blowing our minds! 1.00

00:45:57.000 Like, it's so insulting to imply that when I see a blind person, or I see a handicapped person, I don't think of them as human.

00:46:05.000 That's what this campaign is saying.

00:46:07.000 Is this aimed towards the devil? 1.00

00:46:09.000 The devil him-fucking-self? 1.00

00:46:11.000 It's aimed towards ISIS. 1.00

00:46:13.000 Yeah, this is an ISIS commercial. 1.00

00:46:16.000 The only people that have a problem with any of this shit are fucking jihadists. 1.00

00:46:20.000 Yeah, they would be going nuts. 1.00

00:46:22.000 What?

00:46:22.000 Old Asians can be in love?

00:46:26.000 That's fake.

00:46:28.000 There's no such thing as an old Asian in love. 1.00

00:46:31.000 Wait, patty cake, patty cake?

00:46:32.000 Uh oh.

00:46:34.000 Does one of them have an eye patch?

00:46:38.000 One's a midget? 1.00

00:46:39.000 What's the matter?

00:46:39.000 What are those two?

00:46:40.000 I don't know.

00:46:41.000 They were just little girls.

00:46:43.000 They weren't even handicapped.

00:46:44.000 You think I don't think little girls can be friends? 0.87

00:46:49.000 Alright, anyway.

00:46:50.000 Oh man.

00:46:51.000 Anyway, that's the whole thing with the toddlers.

00:46:53.000 That's three minutes long too.

00:46:55.000 So they had a black toddler and a white toddler running at each other.

00:46:58.000 Like, it's supposed to show you that racism can be cured, and I find that it's racist, because you're implying that that blows my mind. 1.00

00:47:07.000 Fuck you, by the way. 1.00

00:47:09.000 It's like a relative of mine said, after Obama was elected, he goes, it's kind of a surprise, you know, a country this racist would elect a black president. 1.00

00:47:18.000 And I just went, fuck you. 1.00

00:47:20.000 And I don't even, I was barely American at the time, right? 1.00

00:47:25.000 I just moved here.

00:47:26.000 Eight years previous. 0.97

00:47:27.000 But I was insulted as an American that you think we can't handle a black president.

00:47:35.000 We're not racist.

00:47:36.000 Racism isn't a thing. 1.00

00:47:38.000 Stop shoving it up our fucking ass, please. 1.00

00:47:42.000 So anyway, black kid, white kid. 1.00

00:47:44.000 So Carpe Duntum got the joke and he said, this is fucking stupid. 1.00

00:47:47.000 So he said he mocked their 1.00

00:47:51.000 Nefarious intentions.

00:47:53.000 Because, as I just wasted a lot of time explaining, making that go viral is essentially calling you racist.

00:48:00.000 It's essentially saying you think this is a big deal.

00:48:04.000 And it's some racist who probably has never seen black kids and white kids hang out together.

00:48:08.000 It's probably shocked themselves by it. 0.76

00:48:11.000 They go, you shouldn't be shocked by this.

00:48:13.000 It happens.

00:48:15.000 And you better accept it.

00:48:16.000 It's actually beautiful.

00:48:17.000 Look, they're hugging.

00:48:18.000 You got a problem with that? 1.00

00:48:20.000 No, nobody does shit for brains. 0.99

00:48:22.000 So, um, Carpe changes it, and he makes it into a racist baby, and we showed that on the show the other day, right? 0.99

00:48:28.000 He takes the end and puts it at the beginning, and says, racist baby attacking.

00:48:32.000 And so he's banned from Twitter, and that was all this, but now they're going farther.

00:48:37.000 Now, what is it now?

00:48:40.000 Click to the original Zero Hedge thing?

00:48:43.000 Parents of toddlers in viral video to sue Trump?

00:48:50.000 And Carpe donctum over the meme.

00:48:52.000 Because I guess Trump forwarded it?

00:48:55.000 Yeah, he retweeted it, yup. 1.00

00:49:00.000 Okay, so peak clown world is now the dumbest thing to say ever. 0.98

00:49:06.000 That's like being in the fires of Nagasaki. 0.97

00:49:09.000 I'm using a lot of Nagasaki things.

00:49:11.000 And say, hot enough for ya?

00:49:14.000 There's no peak.

00:49:16.000 There's no peak.

00:49:16.000 We're in a thunderstorm.

00:49:18.000 We're in a tornado.

00:49:19.000 You can't say, this is as windy as it's going to get.

00:49:22.000 Good news.

00:49:24.000 What?

00:49:26.000 As of two hours ago?

00:49:28.000 Carpe says, on parlor, he parlayed, I've retained Ron Coleman as my attorney, and in regards to legal matters, he will accept any and all service on my behalf, so let it be written, let it be done.

00:49:38.000 Oh, cool.

00:49:38.000 We're the same lawyer.

00:49:39.000 Isn't it funny how, like, there's this war on such a small group of people, and we all know them? 0.91

00:49:45.000 Like, I talked to Carpe today, I talked to Ron Coleman today, talked to James O'Keefe today, I talked to fucking Glenn Beck today.

00:49:54.000 Speaking of James O'Keefe, he sent me this little, I talked to Dinesh today. 0.89

00:49:59.000 So, he went undercover on Facebook.

00:50:03.000 In Facebook?

00:50:04.000 At Facebook?

00:50:05.000 Well, I'll let him explain.

00:50:11.000 Hello everyone, we have breaking news at Project Veritas after our Facebook investigation.

00:50:15.000 A senior HR business partner at Facebook, Leslie Brown, has just been fired.

00:50:22.000 Leslie Brown sent me a text message saying, quote, I've now been fired.

00:50:28.000 This is Leslie's LinkedIn page.

00:50:30.000 She was working for Facebook as a senior human resource business partner, and over there, US Tech Solutions is the name of the contractor she was working through.

00:50:39.000 I've contacted US Tech Solutions.

00:50:41.000 I spoke to their CEO, a man named Minaj Agarwal, CEO, and he told me he cannot talk about his clients, his NDAs, but he did tell me on the phone when I spoke to him that it was the decision of the client to do this.

00:50:56.000 So apparently it was Facebook's decision.

00:50:58.000 We have reached out to Facebook.

00:51:00.000 They have, in fact, given us a comment, but not related to Leslie Brown.

00:51:04.000 And Facebook's comment was, quote,

00:51:07.000 The comments made are not consistent with our policies.

00:51:10.000 They were reviewing, training, and oversight.

00:51:13.000 Someone has been terminated.

00:51:15.000 Let's take a look at what she said.

00:51:17.000 This is Leslie Brown talking about white people and how they're treated. 0.83

00:51:20.000 Specifically James Moore.

00:51:22.000 Just pause.

00:51:23.000 That's a very cool setup he's got there.

00:51:25.000 I was thinking the same thing.

00:51:26.000 It looks like Shep Smith, but it's probably cost, it's just an office with a bunch of monitors.

00:51:32.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:32.000 But it has the same quality as Shep Smith with his stupid gigantic iPads everywhere. 0.99

00:51:37.000 I think he's canceled, isn't he? 1.00

00:51:41.000 He started hating Fox and everyone.

00:51:44.000 Yeah, remember his set?

00:51:45.000 It was all gigantic iPads.

00:51:49.000 All right, go back to James O'Keefe there.

00:51:51.000 Wow.

00:51:52.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:51:53.000 That's maniacal. 1.00

00:51:54.000 It looks stupid. 1.00

00:51:55.000 That's retarded. 1.00

00:51:56.000 It just looks like an Apple store. 0.99

00:51:59.000 Intelligence, right, right. 0.78

00:52:03.000 Yes, he's a white man.

00:52:06.000 Yeah, white man, so no problem. 0.53

00:52:08.000 He can't do it that easily.

00:52:10.000 You know what I think's great about that?

00:52:13.000 She wasn't saying that's good or bad.

00:52:29.000 So if the boss, the affirmative action hire, Minhaj, had any gumption or honor or character or anything, he'd say, she was saying an unfortunate truth, but that's the way it is.

00:52:41.000 It's very easy to fire white men, but it's very difficult to fire gays or anyone else. 0.72

00:52:46.000 That's just a hate fact. 0.98

00:52:49.000 Sorry.

00:52:51.000 And she's fired for that. 1.00

00:52:52.000 Good.

00:52:54.000 Good.

00:52:56.000 But Gavin, it was an unjust firing.

00:52:58.000 Yeah.

00:52:59.000 But Gavin, they're talking about firing Jimmy Kimmel for jokes that weren't even racist.

00:53:04.000 Yeah, good.

00:53:06.000 Fire Jimmy Kimmel, fire her, fire Jimmy Fallon, fire them all. 0.68

00:53:12.000 That's the only way.

00:53:13.000 I'm stealing this from Milo, but he's right.

00:53:16.000 This won't change until they fire Ben Shapiro and Dave Rubin and the moderates.

00:53:22.000 Firing the alleged radicals like me

00:53:26.000 Don't matter.

00:53:27.000 Dinesh sent me this thing the other day, and again, I didn't have the courage to tell him about the Toad t-shirt.

00:53:35.000 Just pause.

00:53:36.000 We talked about other stuff.

00:53:38.000 I said, I said, this is, this looks like a fantastic movie.

00:53:41.000 Unfortunately, the Zoomer and Groipers are obsessed with demographics, and they don't really care about socialism. 0.98

00:53:48.000 They think that's a distraction.

00:53:52.000 I said, why can't it be both?

00:53:54.000 Why can't you see the idea of America totally changing its demographics and also socialism as bad things?

00:54:04.000 And he didn't respond and I didn't bring up the dode.

00:54:09.000 I feel like I'm a dode.

00:54:12.000 He confides in you and tells you that?

00:54:14.000 Gavin, I have to tell you something.

00:54:16.000 What if he called me, he's like, you know, um,

00:54:19.000 The reason I use that dode analogy is because I actually do feel like I'm a dode.

00:54:24.000 Crazy Dinesh thinks he's a dode. 0.54

00:54:27.000 And I was throwing it out there to see if you guys would think I was crazy. 0.56

00:54:31.000 If you saw me.

00:54:31.000 And clearly... Spreading my legs in a swamp.

00:54:35.000 Jumping around.

00:54:36.000 I would pay so much money for that.

00:54:38.000 To see that.

00:54:39.000 What's my 50th birthday soon?

00:54:41.000 I should... I can ask for pretty much anything.

00:54:43.000 He flops out of a cake. 0.98

00:54:45.000 I want Dinesh D'Souza to jump around in a swamp nude and say he's a toad.

00:54:51.000 Actually, I said to my wife, she's like, okay, so we could do this and then we could go to that place and then we could have a boat, we could rent a boat or something.

00:54:59.000 And then we could even go to Scotland or the travel ban.

00:55:02.000 And I was like, do you want me to be honest?

00:55:03.000 She's like, tell me what you want.

00:55:05.000 I go,

00:55:06.000 I would like to rent my local dive bar, free booze for everyone, have like 40 of my male friends, no woman allowed, and just four girls in bikinis and high heel shoes walking around with sausage rolls. 1.00

00:55:22.000 They're not strippers or anything.

00:55:24.000 Sausage rolls?

00:55:25.000 And she's like, you have hurt me today.

00:55:31.000 You have hurt me today.

00:55:36.000 That's not infidelity.

00:55:37.000 It's not like Tune In Tokyo.

00:55:38.000 They're just eye candy.

00:55:42.000 I don't like the butt cheek.

00:55:44.000 Won't be butt cheek. 1.00

00:55:45.000 It's not like you're gonna... Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah! 1.00

00:55:50.000 Fucking them would be the weirdest, grossest thing. 1.00

00:55:52.000 That would be so... One of them is in the bathroom and some old dad is like... I simply ain't that straight. 1.00

00:56:00.000 This is not Bushwick. 0.99

00:56:03.000 Did I tell you one time my buddy went to a bachelor party in Bushwick, and it was all black dudes, and they were lining up, they were in a lineup of maybe 12 guys, and there was a big fat black woman lying back on the tile floor, and there was just, I think she may have had a towel underneath her, I'm not sure, and there were just guys lining up, fucking her, and then moving on, fucking her, moving on, fucking her, moving on. 0.99

00:56:27.000 Lining up like they were there to get a thawed out milkshake. 0.99

00:56:32.000 I would definitely smell that first.

00:56:33.000 Romance!

00:56:36.000 I felt ugly. 0.84

00:56:37.000 I felt gay. 0.64

00:56:38.000 I also confided in her that I don't really care.

00:56:41.000 Like women, their 50th, their 40th, their 20th anniversary, they have all these plans.

00:56:47.000 But men... I don't really give a shit about my fucking birthday. 1.00

00:56:51.000 What am I, 10? 0.99

00:56:53.000 That's how guys talk to one another.

00:56:55.000 So look at the new Dinesh D'Souza video movie.

00:56:58.000 There's a trailer.

00:56:59.000 When is it out?

00:57:00.000 August 7th.

00:57:02.000 A Tampa Bay pastor has been arrested for violating coronavirus social distancing rules.

00:57:09.000 We will shut you down.

00:57:11.000 Do you know that Dinesh D'Souza and Michael Moore are neck and neck for top most watched documentaries of all time?

00:57:18.000 Nobody knows this.

00:57:19.000 They assume it's Michael Moore and then Dinesh D'Souza down with the slugs.

00:57:25.000 Dinesh has like, it's like Michael Moore has the number one spot and Dinesh has the number two and three spot.

00:57:30.000 It's something like that. 0.92

00:57:32.000 You had a movie in the fuckin' theaters. 0.99

00:57:34.000 In the fuckin' theaters, dude. 1.00

00:57:35.000 About Hillary. 1.00

00:57:42.000 We continue?

00:57:43.000 Yeah.

00:57:43.000 Okay.

00:57:44.000 We will arrest you, and we will take you- Pause.

00:57:47.000 Now that's the mayor of Chicago, right?

00:57:51.000 What happened to that woman? 1.00

00:57:53.000 What do you mean?

00:57:53.000 Look her up.

00:57:54.000 She was an attractive woman, and we turned her into something out of Beetlejuice. 0.99

00:57:59.000 Not the Whack Pack. 0.99

00:58:01.000 But the movie, what have we done to this woman? 1.00

00:58:05.000 She is hideous. 1.00

00:58:08.000 It's too much of indecence. 0.83

00:58:10.000 What's her name?

00:58:10.000 Uh, Lightfoot.

00:58:14.000 Lightfoot.

00:58:14.000 That's such a fake Indian name.

00:58:16.000 But look at her like a few years ago.

00:58:19.000 Oh yeah.

00:58:20.000 Cause she got a little more full in the face. 0.95

00:58:21.000 Oh wow.

00:58:22.000 She looks like a person.

00:58:23.000 Look at that one.

00:58:24.000 Yeah.

00:58:24.000 That one.

00:58:25.000 You're like, okay, you're like a nice black mom.

00:58:28.000 And then, yeah, the eyes, you know, she dropped the glass.

00:58:31.000 Four hours of sleep a night.

00:58:34.000 Look at this.

00:58:36.000 She looks like a torture victim. 1.00

00:58:37.000 It looks like she's been rescued from ISIS after four weeks in a cave.

00:58:44.000 She's alive.

00:58:45.000 Thank God.

00:58:47.000 It looks like one of the creatures from the new Star Wars, like the prequels.

00:58:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:58:52.000 That woman with the asshole eyes. 1.00

00:58:54.000 Yeah, that's exactly the one. 1.00

00:58:57.000 She's like, I don't really.

00:58:58.000 That woman. 1.00

00:59:00.000 There she is still.

00:59:00.000 She's still a human there.

00:59:02.000 Yeah.

00:59:02.000 What happened?

00:59:03.000 It's the eyes.

00:59:04.000 She needs glasses. 1.00

00:59:04.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:59:05.000 She turned into Star Wars. 0.66

00:59:06.000 Well, look at, you know, Sharpton.

00:59:08.000 Before he lost the weight, he looked better.

00:59:10.000 All right.

00:59:12.000 We're not doing this.

00:59:12.000 Okay.

00:59:13.000 Everyone's seen before and after Sharpton. 0.81

00:59:15.000 It looks like a gross weirdo now, gotta say that.

00:59:17.000 You're also seeing a guy in the 80s and comparing him to a guy now.

00:59:21.000 So yes, he looks older.

00:59:22.000 Didn't he have, I met a girl once who, Kenny of Kenny versus Spenny, Kenny Hotts, his wife is a very young model and one of her fellow models was dating Al Sharpton a few years ago.

00:59:37.000 A few years ago?

00:59:38.000 Oh yeah.

00:59:39.000 So she would have been like 21 and he would have been whatever he is, 72.

00:59:45.000 Anyway, go back to Beetlejuice.

01:00:12.000 There are certainly aspects of them that are true to a cause.

01:00:15.000 That is a good cause.

01:00:17.000 It says it right in the name.

01:00:18.000 Antifa.

01:00:18.000 Anti-fascism.

01:00:22.000 I went to the big guys for the money. 1.00

01:00:24.000 I was ready to prostitute myself. 0.91

01:00:25.000 The Bidens have done very well, and Joe Biden's been very sophisticated and shrewd in the way he's done it. 0.98

01:00:31.000 He's essentially offshored the corruption.

01:00:34.000 I'm leaving in six hours.

01:00:35.000 Just pause.

01:00:36.000 We gotta get better cameras, Ryan.

01:00:38.000 I wanna be able to do, like, house sit-ins.

01:00:42.000 Like that.

01:00:42.000 What do you mean?

01:00:44.000 Let me see.

01:00:45.000 Like that one where he's sitting with the guy and he's talking with the Biden.

01:00:48.000 Like that camera.

01:00:49.000 We need that quality.

01:00:50.000 Yeah, with depth.

01:00:51.000 We could probably change out the lens.

01:00:52.000 It'll probably do a lot.

01:00:53.000 You need that depth of field.

01:00:54.000 Yeah, we need to get, I don't care if they're 2,000 bucks each.

01:00:57.000 Very sophisticated and shrewd in the way he's done it.

01:01:01.000 He's essentially offshored the corruption.

01:01:03.000 I'm leaving in six hours.

01:01:05.000 If the prosecutor's not fired, you're not getting the money. 1.00

01:01:08.000 Oh, son of a bitch. 1.00

01:01:09.000 So, 1.00

01:01:12.000 Trump was on the chopping block for quid pro quo, where he was accused of saying, I'm not going to fund you guys unless you investigate Joe Biden. 0.93

01:01:24.000 Here is Joe Biden talking about the same fucking country, Ukraine, and saying, drop this investigation or you're not going to get money. 0.90

01:01:34.000 And people go, that's badass. 1.00

01:01:37.000 He said, son of a bitch. 1.00

01:01:38.000 Okay, play. 1.00

01:01:40.000 Got fired.

01:01:44.000 We have to say yes to socialism, to the word and everything.

01:01:47.000 We are living in many ways in a socialist society right now.

01:01:51.000 Only in America, when the president tweets about liberation, does he mean go back to work.

01:01:56.000 I think a lot of people should just say no.

01:02:12.000 Rip that down! 1.00

01:02:13.000 And by that, I mean Dinesh.

01:02:15.000 The moment I am looking down, my hands are being put in handcuffs, my ankles are shacked.

01:02:20.000 Shackled.

01:02:22.000 Yeah.

01:02:23.000 When you've been shackled so much, you just nickname it.

01:02:25.000 Like, I got shacked.

01:02:27.000 I think he meant a tall basketball player rammed into his ankles.

01:02:33.000 Honestly, I think you should let me run the country.

01:02:38.000 He understands that what's at stake is the American dream itself.

01:02:45.000 The best is yet to come.

01:02:48.000 That looks exciting.

01:02:52.000 Hell yeah, brother.

01:02:54.000 As exciting as that Uncle Tom movie, which someone snuck me a link to so we can watch that together nude.

01:03:03.000 What?

01:03:05.000 When I said together nude, that wasn't me thinking something and it accidentally falling out of my mouth.

01:03:11.000 It was me joking.

01:03:13.000 It's just a joke.

01:03:14.000 I switched around my camera.

01:03:15.000 So it looks like we're facing each other, but I think, um, dude, that was not a Freudian slip.

01:03:22.000 That was a joke.

01:03:25.000 You should keep it as it was, dude.

01:03:29.000 You should keep it flipped the other way.

01:03:30.000 It looks better.

01:03:31.000 All right.

01:03:32.000 Just don't say any naked stuff anymore.

01:03:35.000 Naked stuff, it's chasing you.

01:03:38.000 No. 0.95

01:03:39.000 Running up dirty hills. 0.86

01:03:42.000 Naked stuff, it's in your pants. 0.76

01:03:46.000 It's like a spider. 0.99

01:03:48.000 Running up dirty hills.

01:03:51.000 You want to take some galls eventually?

01:03:53.000 No, I'm not done my chatting.

01:03:54.000 Oh, okay.

01:03:56.000 Chaz, BLM.

01:03:58.000 Remember we were talking about the Bubba Wallace theme?

01:04:00.000 Meme, sorry?

01:04:01.000 Where it had a mechanic covered in grease and it said, Bubba Wallace discovers man in blackface in his garage? 0.89

01:04:09.000 That's real.

01:04:11.000 Ooh, I got some Bubba Wallace goss, by the way.

01:04:13.000 Apparently it's even worse than we think it is.

01:04:18.000 Okay, stop the insanity, says Cruz.

01:04:21.000 Mary Poppins branded racist by U.S.

01:04:23.000 academics.

01:04:25.000 Over soot scene.

01:04:27.000 This is not a joke.

01:04:30.000 Independent, like zoom out a little bit more so people can look it up.

01:04:34.000 Independent.co.uk.

01:04:36.000 Not a joke.

01:04:38.000 By the way, people were covered in soot back then because they didn't have catalytic converters and there was just dust and garbage and coal everywhere.

01:04:48.000 And chimney sweeps would just be black with coal. 0.99

01:04:53.000 It was a brutal time of incredibly hard work.

01:04:56.000 Every streetlight was hand-lit.

01:04:58.000 And hand-put out.

01:05:00.000 Men would go down putting out all the streetlights. 0.99

01:05:03.000 With the little fuckin' candle doohickey. 0.98

01:05:06.000 That's so weird. 0.94

01:05:08.000 You know what's messed up at Genius is the people that are protesting against the system, but it's never the system that gets the brunt of it.

01:05:16.000 It's always just the people that had no choice, but that was just how people spoke when they said Negro or whatever. 0.92

01:05:22.000 Yeah, even with Jimmy Fallon, not that I don't want him to get fucked, Jimmy Fallon was just doing what his contract said. 0.89

01:05:29.000 Someone wrote a sketch for him, and he does a good Chris Rock, so they dressed him up. 0.96

01:05:33.000 And he had to sit there in the makeup chair.

01:05:36.000 Um, but I got some goss.

01:05:37.000 Apparently the Bubba Wallace thing is even worse than what we reported.

01:05:41.000 They found a garage pull, but that's just because they found a garage pull.

01:05:46.000 If there was no garage pulls, ever, in the history of man, he still would have filed that charge.

01:05:53.000 He made up an allegation.

01:05:56.000 They assumed it was based on a garage pull, but I don't think it was.

01:06:01.000 Now I'm getting this news from the gym, so...

01:06:05.000 But yeah, I think he just made up a story, totally lazy like Juicy Small A. They saw the garage pull and thought, let's just say it's that.

01:06:15.000 Right.

01:06:16.000 But I don't think it was that.

01:06:18.000 So he didn't even have any physical noose at all?

01:06:20.000 No, I think he just went, there's a noose there.

01:06:23.000 It was a Proud Boy or KKK. 0.61

01:06:25.000 Proud Boy, KKK, noose.

01:06:27.000 We should sell nooses. 0.98

01:06:29.000 Oh my God, no.

01:06:30.000 That are called Proud Boy, KKK, nooses.

01:06:31.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:06:33.000 But they never come.

01:06:33.000 It's just an empty package.

01:06:34.000 They never come. 1.00

01:06:35.000 We just send them a note that goes, you're a fucking racist. 1.00

01:06:38.000 Here's your money back, dick. 1.00

01:06:41.000 Is he another half white, just like Jussie too? 1.00

01:06:43.000 Yeah, but his mom's black. 1.00

01:06:45.000 Oh. 0.80

01:06:46.000 Which is weird.

01:06:49.000 So, I have to get through this.

01:06:50.000 We're going to be late for calls, but... Whatever.

01:06:53.000 1-6, I think this shows you that these people ultimately, with the rioters and the radicals and the Antifa and the BLM, they just want to be heard in a world that isn't listening.

01:07:04.000 And I think they make that so clear when they do what we call direct action.

01:07:10.000 This is great.

01:07:22.000 Is this someone being killed by a deflating balloon?

01:07:30.000 You didn't choose the best yeller, did you?

01:07:32.000 The guy's not so bad, but she sounds like a balloon.

01:07:40.000 This is to the people of Walmart.

01:07:44.000 Can you be louder?

01:07:45.000 Could you guys be louder?

01:07:50.000 Like, if I was organizing this political demonstration... That's what it is.

01:07:54.000 So let me hear your screams first. 1.00

01:07:56.000 Sorry, Deshawn. 0.92

01:07:58.000 You're too balloony.

01:08:01.000 We need more like... Is someone stepping on a baby seal?

01:08:10.000 And then he bows.

01:08:11.000 Was that a guy?

01:08:12.000 Yeah.

01:08:14.000 It looked like a guy.

01:08:15.000 Um, sounded like a woman. 1.00

01:08:17.000 Okay, so you know how earlier I was saying, no one's looking for equality here.

01:08:20.000 They're looking for revenge. 0.97

01:08:22.000 And I don't want to say black people, because this is really Antifa, BLM, which is like a very small percentage of radical black gays. 0.99

01:08:31.000 So when I say they, I just mean the rioters. 0.98

01:08:34.000 And they're not, maybe like 48% black. 0.99

01:08:38.000 Burn it down. 1.00

01:08:39.000 You said burn it down. 0.99

01:08:40.000 It's time.

01:08:55.000 So that makes me think that you want to burn it down.

01:08:58.000 I said, if this country, if this country doesn't give us what we want, then we will burn down this system and replace it.

01:09:07.000 All right.

01:09:07.000 And I could be speaking figuratively.

01:09:10.000 I could be speaking literally.

01:09:12.000 It's a matter of interpretation.

01:09:14.000 Like. 0.78

01:09:17.000 We want to burn it down.

01:09:18.000 By the way, Parler, did we talk about this already on the show?

01:09:20.000 Parler is blowing up.

01:09:23.000 We didn't mention that.

01:09:23.000 We're only going to be showing parlour, parlays they're called.

01:09:27.000 Their tweets are called parlays.

01:09:29.000 Parlays?

01:09:29.000 Yeah.

01:09:30.000 Parlays.

01:09:31.000 Oh parlays?

01:09:32.000 Yeah.

01:09:33.000 I mean parlour is technically pronounced parlay.

01:09:35.000 Right.

01:09:36.000 But no one does that.

01:09:37.000 So we say parlour and when you have an individual parlour, it's a parlay. 0.98

01:09:42.000 But yeah, the past two days it's gone absolutely fucking mental. 0.93

01:09:45.000 I'm having a blast. 0.95

01:09:47.000 And now when I'm scrolling through it, it just feels like Twitter 10 years ago where you could say anything you want.

01:09:52.000 Oh yeah, we did talk about this.

01:09:53.000 I said my woman joke. 1.00

01:09:54.000 Alright, sorry folks.

01:09:55.000 You can now use hashtags and stuff like that.

01:09:58.000 I don't know if you were before.

01:10:00.000 And then upload videos.

01:10:01.000 That's one kind of a flaw though.

01:10:02.000 It's so new that when you do a hashtag, it'll often have nothing related to it.

01:10:08.000 Because it hasn't accrued enough traction yet.

01:10:10.000 You hit a hashtag like blood oranges,

01:10:15.000 On Twitter.

01:10:16.000 And, you know, they've been around for so long, you're going to have a bunch of people talking about blood oranges.

01:10:23.000 Nothing there.

01:10:24.000 Yeah, we could be the first one.

01:10:25.000 That's kind of the exciting part about that right there.

01:10:28.000 Yeah.

01:10:28.000 Bam!

01:10:29.000 First blood orange. 0.61

01:10:30.000 Say you think blood oranges are lame, go, blood orange, lame.

01:10:35.000 I'm going to do that.

01:10:36.000 Do it right now.

01:10:37.000 Let's show live parlay.

01:10:39.000 What's new?

01:10:40.000 So blood orange, lame, hashtag, right?

01:10:42.000 No, no, no.

01:10:43.000 No, no, no.

01:10:44.000 Stop.

01:10:44.000 Go.

01:10:45.000 Anyone hate hashtag blood orange?

01:10:53.000 Now space the fruit in brackets, in brackets.

01:11:02.000 As much as me?

01:11:04.000 Question mark?

01:11:06.000 Partly.

01:11:10.000 Oh, that would suck if some blood orange just got on Parlor, and that's the first thing they see. 1.00

01:11:15.000 That sucks. 0.98

01:11:17.000 That would be terrible. 0.99

01:11:18.000 If there's a blood orange... Or the band.

01:11:20.000 I hate clean humor.

01:11:21.000 The band Blood Orange.

01:11:22.000 All right, so let's look at their demands.

01:11:24.000 This is 1-8.

01:11:25.000 We're almost done here.

01:11:26.000 I've got two more links for Chaz Chaps. 1.00

01:11:30.000 So this is the demands.

01:11:32.000 Center for Multicultural Blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabl

01:11:56.000 Um, the history of these names along with the blah blah blah with the names will not be welcomed.

01:12:01.000 I gotcha.

01:12:02.000 They're always so verbose here.

01:12:03.000 Like, just say the first part.

01:12:04.000 We know why you want them removed.

01:12:07.000 Number two, make the Harrisonburg JMA police accountable for any actions towards students and will no longer be dismissive of asservations?

01:12:17.000 Asseverations?

01:12:18.000 I've never heard that word before.

01:12:19.000 Before.

01:12:20.000 You wanted to Google it?

01:12:22.000 Asseverations?

01:12:24.000 And to say the police have to be held accountable, I thought that was already a thing.

01:12:31.000 To asseverate is to declare seriously or positively.

01:12:34.000 So asseveration is a declarement of seriousness.

01:12:37.000 Declarement?

01:12:39.000 A declaration.

01:12:39.000 The solemn affirmation of truth of a statement.

01:12:42.000 Asservation.

01:12:43.000 Okay.

01:12:44.000 Never.

01:12:44.000 Sorry.

01:12:44.000 I'm dumb.

01:12:45.000 That's didactic. 0.97

01:12:46.000 So this is, these demands are just from that school, but let's keep going.

01:12:50.000 Uh, where was the answer?

01:12:53.000 It was number two.

01:12:53.000 Okay, there we go.

01:12:55.000 Make the blah blah blah no longer be dismissive of asservations. 0.96

01:13:01.000 Ooh, asservirations.

01:13:03.000 Make every space on campus a safe space for black students. 0.92

01:13:05.000 What does that mean?

01:13:08.000 No more lynching rooms? 0.78

01:13:10.000 Make diversity education such as, and there's some dumb class, a requirement for all students. 0.97

01:13:16.000 Okay.

01:13:17.000 Promote CMSS to incoming students while on tour. 1.00

01:13:22.000 Oh, fuck off. 1.00

01:13:22.000 I'm so exhausted with all this shit. 1.00

01:13:24.000 Have a larger pool of tenured professors of color and more people of color who are qualified to hold positions in departments. 0.99

01:13:31.000 Yeah, you know how they do that?

01:13:32.000 They lower the bar of PhDs.

01:13:35.000 Be conscious of where JMU is housing incoming black students along with students of color, as well as who they are randomly, quote unquote, because we know you put us with Nazi skinheads chosen to live with. 0.92

01:13:48.000 Create and support student.

01:13:49.000 All right.

01:13:50.000 Visibly increase support for multicultural Greek letter organizations.

01:13:55.000 Ah, this is boring.

01:13:57.000 Allow students of color to participate in the making of any new policies and the revision of older policies.

01:14:01.000 So this reminds me of, um, when NYU went on strike and one of their demands was free tuition to Palestinian students, which is code for, I want to have a Palestinian friend.

01:14:15.000 This is my friend from, from Gaza.

01:14:19.000 He's wearing a keffiyeh that he actually got in Jordan.

01:14:23.000 I wore one.

01:14:24.000 He brought me one too. 1.00

01:14:25.000 We fucking hate Jews. 1.00

01:14:26.000 It's like eating curry, but you could hang out with it. 1.00

01:14:29.000 Okay.

01:14:29.000 Well, then this was the best thing on earth and it's Brixton last night.

01:14:34.000 Um, they have a, they have a spontaneous dance party and as one does, they start shooting each other.

01:14:43.000 Oh no.

01:14:45.000 Well, it's not, no longer available.

01:14:50.000 When did you parlay this?

01:14:52.000 This morning.

01:14:54.000 There it is.

01:14:55.000 Oh my gosh.

01:14:55.000 That's it.

01:14:57.000 A network error caused the media to fail partway.

01:15:00.000 What the heck?

01:15:01.000 This is a Tommy thing that you echoed, right? 0.70

01:15:04.000 Yep.

01:15:06.000 He's been banned from Parler.

01:15:07.000 I'll try to get to the bottom of this.

01:15:08.000 So, I'll just tell you the story in case it doesn't load.

01:15:12.000 They have a big party in Brixton.

01:15:14.000 Brixton is a predominantly black neighborhood.

01:15:17.000 All the Yardies in the 70s came there.

01:15:19.000 That's why you have the clash song, The Guns of Brixton.

01:15:22.000 When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come?

01:15:26.000 With your hands on your head, or on the trigger of your gun.

01:15:31.000 And the Yardies, the Jamaicans, assimilated beautifully.

01:15:34.000 Worked out.

01:15:35.000 Rocky couple years, but it worked out.

01:15:37.000 And so now it's contentious again.

01:15:39.000 Because it has to be because we're all about unassimilating and So They have a rave, an illegal rave, whatever, who cares.

01:15:51.000 The cops are letting them rave and then there's a shooting that goes on so the cops have to come.

01:15:57.000 The cops come and then This was this morning around 9 a.m.

01:16:03.000 for Tommy's Timeline

01:16:06.000 What are you doing, dude?

01:16:07.000 I thought everything was fine on Parlor.

01:16:09.000 11 hours ago. 0.99

01:16:12.000 And so, the police come, but instead of saying, thank you for coming, police officers, they start destroying the fucking place. 0.99

01:16:20.000 This was around 12 hours ago. 0.99

01:16:22.000 This is what happens when- Yeah, there you go.

01:16:27.000 So they destroy the cop cars.

01:16:32.000 So the cop cars get the fuck out of there. 0.95

01:16:35.000 And then... I don't think we're going to find this video.

01:16:39.000 It should be next to it.

01:16:40.000 It said Brixton in big letters on it.

01:16:42.000 And then... They start stabbing each other.

01:16:46.000 After chasing the cops away.

01:16:49.000 And so, the reaction is... 1.00

01:16:52.000 How dare these fucking pigs take so long. 1.00

01:16:55.000 And she's sitting there going, where are the fucking police? 1.00

01:16:57.000 My friend's bleeding out. 1.00

01:16:59.000 He's been stabbed.

01:17:00.000 He's been stabbed. 1.00

01:17:01.000 And there's no fucking police. 0.99

01:17:03.000 We've been here for almost an hour. 1.00

01:17:05.000 And she's recording the 911 call saying, he's going to die.

01:17:09.000 Where are you? 1.00

01:17:10.000 Where are the fucking police? 1.00

01:17:13.000 And you go, that is perfect. 1.00

01:17:16.000 That is perfect.

01:17:17.000 It's a petulant teen who says, I hate it here, dad.

01:17:21.000 Moves out and then... Oh, that looks like it might be it in the top left.

01:17:32.000 Come on, video.

01:17:33.000 Come on.

01:17:34.000 Video loading. 1.00

01:17:35.000 Fucking video. 0.99

01:17:38.000 No thanks. 1.00

01:17:38.000 Allow. 1.00

01:17:42.000 Come on, son.

01:17:43.000 Come on, mirror. 1.00

01:17:45.000 Bloody bastard. 1.00

01:17:46.000 Fucking bastard. 1.00

01:17:48.000 Fucking hell. 1.00

01:17:50.000 Anyway, yeah, you get the idea. 0.98

01:17:52.000 And the dispatcher was saying, we'll get there as soon as we can.

01:17:56.000 I'm so sorry.

01:18:02.000 So we don't got it?

01:18:03.000 All right.

01:18:05.000 So that's the end of our show.

01:18:07.000 We will now be taking calls.

01:18:09.000 I'll be doing drawings.

01:18:10.000 Why don't you show the charitable auctions, doodle link.

01:18:16.000 So on censored.tv of course.

01:18:18.000 Go to censored.tv.

01:18:20.000 I've got an idea for today's drawing.

01:18:25.000 Inspired by Simon in the land of chalk drawings.

01:18:34.000 And you know my name is Simon and the things I draw come true.

01:18:39.000 You take me, take me, take me on.

01:18:39.000 Wow.

01:18:42.000 Remember that song?

01:18:45.000 Yeah, what is it from?

01:18:46.000 Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings. 0.76

01:18:49.000 And you know my name is Drew.

01:18:51.000 Yeah.

01:18:52.000 Yeah, that is very cool.

01:18:52.000 Oh, that's good money.

01:18:56.000 And then... You know that song?

01:18:58.000 Pull it up.

01:18:58.000 Yeah.

01:18:59.000 Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings. 0.76

01:19:02.000 That was big when I was a little kid in England.

01:19:04.000 He would make a chalk drawing and it would come true.

01:19:06.000 It's beautiful.

01:19:14.000 Wow, this is a lot more lo-fi than I remember.

01:19:37.000 As told by Bernard Cribbins.

01:19:39.000 Fast forward from that version of London.

01:19:42.000 Wait, go back.

01:19:43.000 So yeah, that was 1970s Britain compared to today. 0.99

01:19:47.000 Where the fuck off, police? 1.00

01:19:49.000 Where the fuck are the police? 1.00

01:19:51.000 That video that Tommy reposted of that cop, the fake cop, talking about the events of the evening? 1.00

01:19:58.000 Uh-huh.

01:20:00.000 Pretty genius.

01:20:00.000 Worth looking at.

01:20:01.000 We found a strange figure waiting for him by the fence.

01:20:04.000 Simon recognizes it once.

01:20:06.000 Why, you're the drawing I did yesterday.

01:20:08.000 You didn't finish me.

01:20:11.000 I am indeed, and if you'll be so kind as to complete me, I would like to take you somewhere.

01:20:18.000 You look like a refugee. 1.00

01:20:20.000 No.

01:20:23.000 I drew a police officer and you erased him, stabbed each other and then asked me to draw him again.

01:20:28.000 I'm not drawing any more police officers.

01:20:30.000 Yeah, you seem to not like them very much.

01:20:31.000 You don't seem to enjoy it.

01:20:33.000 I don't think you chalk drawings know what you want.

01:20:36.000 I'm not drawing a knife either. 1.00

01:20:36.000 I think you just want revenge and fucking chaos and for me to sew up your fucking knife wounds. 1.00

01:20:42.000 Well, no. 1.00

01:20:43.000 I'm done drawing you.

01:20:45.000 Hurt people hurt people, but you're not really hurt, are you?

01:20:48.000 You know what I'm gonna draw from now on?

01:20:51.000 Cages!

01:20:51.000 I'm gonna use this ladder.

01:20:55.000 You better get used to the smell of Wyrmwood scrubs.

01:20:59.000 Yeah, then you go to the Land of Chalk Drawings and you see all these unfinished drawings.

01:21:04.000 A lot of them are pissed off.

01:21:08.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:21:09.000 This is like, uh, the premise of Monkeybone.

01:21:12.000 This is like the premise of Monkeybone!

01:21:14.000 Remember Monkeybone?

01:21:15.000 No.

01:21:16.000 Uh, this cartoonist played by, cartoonist, played by Brendan Fraser, uh, like gets knocked out, he's in a coma, and then he goes to like a purgatory thing where all of his creations are there.

01:21:27.000 And, um, it's pretty, pretty cool.

01:21:30.000 Well he stole it from Simon in the land of chalk drawings.

01:21:33.000 Seems like he did, yeah.

01:21:34.000 Um, show me the Tommy video you were talking about.

01:21:37.000 Oh, of course.

01:21:38.000 I don't mind denying all these callers their time. 1.00

01:21:41.000 Fuck them. 1.00

01:21:42.000 Tommy Robinson. 1.00

01:21:45.000 That reminds me of the song Cop Killer by Body Count.

01:21:47.000 I know your mama's grieving. 1.00

01:21:49.000 Fuck her. 1.00

01:21:50.000 Cop killer, cause tonight we get even. 1.00

01:22:00.000 He's been real active, Tommy.

01:22:01.000 It's pretty cool.

01:22:03.000 Hello, I'm Sergeant Constable Detective Officer Peter Pisspot from Twat Valley Police.

01:22:09.000 Many of you will be aware that 22 of my fellow officers were injured during a largely peaceful Black Lives Matter musical gathering in Brixton last night.

01:22:18.000 Police were called to the scene by Brixton residents complaining about noise and violence.

01:22:24.000 The substantial gathering of revellers was asked by officers to disperse and leave, which they respectfully declined to do.

01:22:32.000 Very quickly, more officers arrived at the scene to assist with doing absolutely nothing.

01:22:38.000 Several officers were pelted with bottles, although it is not clear whether that was a malicious act or whether revelers were simply trying to share their beverages with police due to the hot weather.

01:22:51.000 A number of officers were chased down the street by a spirited mob of partygoers shouting, run them out! 1.00

01:22:57.000 Fucking guy. 1.00

01:23:00.000 Tommy thought it was good. 1.00

01:23:02.000 Yeah, that's one of his 900 Parleys today.

01:23:06.000 You sure it's called Parley? 1.00

01:23:08.000 Yeah, the word Parley has been on your desktop in front of your face as you click on these fucking things. 1.00

01:23:14.000 Alright. 0.99

01:23:15.000 So I'd consider that evidence.

01:23:17.000 So this will be a big ol' winner IF they prove the VPN thing, right?

01:23:24.000 Uh... I guess we're not giving out free shit to people. 0.98

01:23:29.000 But if they confirm they do the VPN thing... Well, how are they gonna do that? 0.92

01:23:34.000 Send it to... Yeah, that's a separate thing.

01:23:36.000 Oh, okay, so we're not doing... Mike!

01:23:39.000 No, no gifts for Mike.

01:23:41.000 Sorry, Mike.

01:23:43.000 Hey, so you've been talking about cow-towing for a while.

01:23:50.000 Yep.

01:23:51.000 So, Nashville has combined the douchiest part of their city 0.97

01:23:59.000 With the douchiest part of our country. 0.75

01:24:00.000 Oh, fun.

01:24:01.000 And the police, a police sergeant in Nashville just released a video of his ballad to George Floyd.

01:24:14.000 Oh my God.

01:24:17.000 And it is gruesome.

01:24:20.000 So I'm just going to let you guys enjoy that.

01:24:24.000 And I'm going to hang up and watch.

01:24:26.000 Okay, thank you for that.

01:24:28.000 Bless your sweet little heart.

01:24:29.000 Thank you for that, Colin.

01:24:30.000 You know, that's some more gossip I heard at the gym today.

01:24:32.000 I heard there's a high-ranking official in the NYPD, a captain or something, who was told, hey, we're gonna need you to, at this conference here, we're gonna need you to get on your knees and kneel to George Floyd.

01:24:46.000 It would look good for everyone involved.

01:24:48.000 And he said, uh, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

01:24:50.000 And they go, well, actually, you have to do that. 1.00

01:24:53.000 I mean, he goes, 27 years on the force, and I'm taking this moment to say fuck you! 1.00

01:24:59.000 Wow. 1.00

01:24:59.000 And he's retiring. 1.00

01:25:02.000 He is using that moment to retire.

01:25:04.000 Now, he'll still get his pension. 0.93

01:25:06.000 27 years, you can't not get your pension, but it's amazing that after all these years on the force, all these ups and downs, I assume David Dinkins, Ed Koch, Bloomberg, Giuliani, 9-11, all of this shit, and he's like, you know what? 1.00

01:25:21.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:25:21.000 I'm done. 1.00

01:25:22.000 I'm not kneeling for anyone.

01:25:29.000 Ew! 0.98

01:25:31.000 I'm already puking. 1.00

01:25:37.000 He's a mess head porn star who abandoned his children. 1.00

01:25:40.000 That helps. 1.00

01:25:44.000 How dare you?

01:25:45.000 You forgot fentanyl, okay?

01:25:48.000 He's gotten two folded flags, separate occasions.

01:25:51.000 Which, you know, marines with no legs get, or their mothers, when they die.

01:25:58.000 Maybe a folded biodome flag. 0.99

01:26:00.000 I bet you those fucking flags are, like, in a closet somewhere or whatever. 1.00

01:26:03.000 Holy shit, this is fucking epic. 1.00

01:26:16.000 No, Unity. 1.00

01:26:17.000 I'm out.

01:26:18.000 We're over, Unity.

01:26:19.000 This is the end of Unity.

01:26:21.000 This video is the end of Unity.

01:26:23.000 It's us and them.

01:26:24.000 And you're them, dude.

01:26:31.000 I'm angry, I'm sad.

01:26:33.000 I'm a whole lot confused.

01:26:35.000 Just pause, just pause too.

01:26:37.000 He's saying that it was so unjustified.

01:26:39.000 He's a cop.

01:26:40.000 We haven't gone through all the evidence yet.

01:26:42.000 We're still figuring it out.

01:26:44.000 And he's already made a decision.

01:26:46.000 So that is, he's judge, jury, and executioner.

01:26:49.000 At once. 1.00

01:26:51.000 Like that's, that's a fuck you to all your cop, your fellow cops. 1.00

01:26:57.000 Take two steps forward then come all unblued. 1.00

01:27:02.000 This day.

01:27:02.000 We never wanted this kind of fame.

01:27:05.000 Clever.

01:27:25.000 No.

01:27:26.000 This kind of thing?

01:27:27.000 No, yeah, but I'm sorry.

01:27:28.000 I don't like the thing with the guy with the neck thing, the guy who died.

01:27:33.000 I don't like that thing.

01:27:35.000 The breathy preventy?

01:27:36.000 That's how mobsters talk.

01:27:39.000 Did you take care of that thing?

01:27:40.000 Yeah.

01:27:42.000 I don't like that thing with you dying on the ground.

01:27:45.000 I hate that kind of thing.

01:27:47.000 It's a badass room though, man.

01:27:54.000 I think.

01:27:54.000 I'm not surprised by the turnout.

01:27:57.000 What do you mean?

01:27:58.000 There's no one there. 1.00

01:27:59.000 He sucks. 1.00

01:28:01.000 He's social distancing. 1.00

01:28:02.000 Yeah.

01:28:04.000 Love conquers all.

01:28:06.000 What are you talking about?

01:28:07.000 Apparently not obesity.

01:28:08.000 That doesn't mean anything. 0.99

01:28:09.000 Unless you're a hateful person.

01:28:11.000 So when you see someone on fentanyl and meth using phony money and resisting arrest, you should learn to love.

01:28:20.000 It's love.

01:28:21.000 You are seen, heard, valued.

01:28:24.000 Hate, hate. 0.98

01:28:26.000 I hate hate.

01:28:28.000 Well then you hate.

01:28:29.000 Right.

01:28:30.000 Just hate.

01:28:30.000 You're using it.

01:28:31.000 Alright, that's enough. 1.00

01:28:34.000 What a shizzit shizzo. 1.00

01:28:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:38.000 It's done. 0.97

01:28:39.000 I'm drawing this motorcycle and it is fucking hard. 1.00

01:28:42.000 Which is why this drawing fucking sucks. 0.99

01:28:45.000 It just says scrotumzit in one of my tabs and I was like, what the hell is that? 0.99

01:28:50.000 It is up for auction. 0.76

01:28:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:28:53.000 No one's bid on it yet.

01:28:54.000 That's not a good sign.

01:28:57.000 We got... Somebody says Gavin's wrong about communists or something.

01:29:04.000 Oh.

01:29:05.000 Hello?

01:29:06.000 Yes.

01:29:07.000 Yes, hi.

01:29:07.000 How are you guys doing?

01:29:08.000 Hi, we're good.

01:29:09.000 How are you?

01:29:11.000 Super, super good.

01:29:13.000 Hey, Gavin, you know, before I say this, I'd like to ask you to confirm.

01:29:18.000 Maybe you're right.

01:29:19.000 So you said, uh, uh, in, in, uh, in communist, the main thing is basically, this is the cornerstone from each according to his ability to each.

01:29:30.000 Yes, you're correct, sir. 0.98

01:29:32.000 I made a mistake during a political quiz and I fell for communist rhetoric that sounded good, but was actually a bunch of Marxist bullshit. 0.97

01:29:45.000 No, because this is the definition of exploitation. 0.95

01:29:48.000 I mean, you never fulfill your, your ability.

01:29:50.000 You can always do more.

01:29:51.000 And how much do you need?

01:29:52.000 A person needs very little.

01:29:54.000 So basically subjugation incorporated.

01:29:56.000 Yes.

01:29:57.000 We've, we covered this on the show, sir.

01:29:58.000 We cover this on the show.

01:29:59.000 I accidentally, I accidentally okayed Marxism and I was wrong.

01:30:05.000 Okay.

01:30:06.000 Okay.

01:30:06.000 Hey, Gavin, do you believe that God has a sense of humor?

01:30:10.000 What's the question?

01:30:12.000 Do you believe God has a sense of humor?

01:30:14.000 In other words, do you believe in destiny?

01:30:17.000 It's the same question.

01:30:19.000 I believe that, I think 5% of you is nurture, and yes, I believe in destiny.

01:30:26.000 I see, I see, I see.

01:30:27.000 So then if the future already has been told, then I can have a sense of humor.

01:30:31.000 No, no, no, no.

01:30:32.000 There is a percentage that you can manipulate your predicament, but not 100%.

01:30:41.000 Well, I mean, it's either God knows what's going to happen or not.

01:30:44.000 It's not somewhere in the middle.

01:30:45.000 It's yes or no.

01:30:46.000 So in other words, it's not a yes or no. 0.98

01:30:49.000 You can spontaneously kill yourself right now, which I kind of recommend. 0.97

01:30:54.000 All right. 0.99

01:30:58.000 Thanks for calling.

01:30:59.000 Try to assimilate better.

01:31:01.000 Here in the West, we're not quite as annoying as that.

01:31:05.000 Thank you for your call.

01:31:06.000 And don't, when you talk to people, don't lay traps.

01:31:09.000 That's a British thing I've noticed too.

01:31:11.000 When you're in a pub, they'll be like, they try to lure you in, you know, like, yeah, so don't you think that murdering people unjustly the way the English did to the Scots was wrong?

01:31:20.000 Yes.

01:31:21.000 Oh, so to burn a woman alive would be unjust, right? 0.99

01:31:25.000 Yeah.

01:31:27.000 Braveheart did that.

01:31:28.000 That was kind of a lure.

01:31:30.000 All right.

01:31:31.000 Okay.

01:31:31.000 So you did lure.

01:31:33.000 Luring is lame.

01:31:34.000 Especially when I'm trying to draw a motorbike.

01:31:37.000 Which is pretty cool.

01:31:39.000 I got Dan.

01:31:40.000 By the way, um, the, the Discord, uh, server got shut down.

01:31:47.000 What?

01:31:47.000 Yeah.

01:31:48.000 When?

01:31:48.000 Today.

01:31:50.000 I was just looking at it like a few hours ago.

01:31:52.000 Yeah.

01:31:53.000 Man, they are coming down hard on the G-Dog.

01:31:56.000 Hmm.

01:31:57.000 Wait, my phone's dead.

01:31:58.000 Can you charge my phone?

01:32:00.000 Oh! 0.60

01:32:03.000 That's brand new.

01:32:04.000 What, me learning how to catch?

01:32:05.000 But how did they know it existed?

01:32:07.000 And it wasn't, it wasn't really, uh, like, first of all, I couldn't, I couldn't figure out the discord.

01:32:12.000 I'm too old.

01:32:12.000 So I just see like 9 million people having random conversations about like their ex-boyfriend or something.

01:32:19.000 It wasn't planning the next revolution. 0.97

01:32:23.000 It was pretty fucking benign. 0.96

01:32:27.000 So it's gone. 0.96

01:32:31.000 But what was it called?

01:32:36.000 Holy gadzooks. 0.99

01:32:40.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.99

01:32:45.000 So that, you know what that means, by the way, that means that flies are following me and censored TV and saying, shut it down. 1.00

01:32:55.000 Which is just like, imagine being that pathetic of a fly that you want to shut down some stranger's conversation. 0.92

01:33:03.000 I really, I really don't think I can imagine that. 0.99

01:33:07.000 They act like a scorned ex.

01:33:09.000 Yeah, they really do.

01:33:11.000 They revolve around you.

01:33:12.000 Their life is you.

01:33:13.000 Well, they often are a scorned ex.

01:33:16.000 And they can't get revenge on the ex for whatever reason, so they choose us.

01:33:22.000 Dan, you're on the line.

01:33:25.000 Hey, you got my name wrong, dude.

01:33:27.000 It's Ben, not Dan.

01:33:28.000 Okay, well you got my care wrong.

01:33:30.000 It's zero, not one.

01:33:33.000 It's a binary care system.

01:33:35.000 No, it's Ben, like short for Benjamin.

01:33:37.000 Oh, that's good to know.

01:33:38.000 I'll be using that again in the future.

01:33:42.000 Fantastic.

01:33:43.000 Anyway, I was just calling because I'm a music producer from Australia.

01:33:46.000 I just wanted to say I think it's hilarious that I have to completely hide the fact that I watch any kind of news media or video content by an author such as yourself. 0.92

01:33:55.000 Um, it seems that there isn't a single person I've met in the music industry that doesn't have a really like firm leftist view and tries to weave that into nearly every fucking conversation. 0.93

01:34:04.000 And it's just mind-numbing at this point.

01:34:08.000 You know, when I was your age, when I was your age, that wasn't a thing.

01:34:13.000 Like we didn't know what someone else's, and even if it was like, Ron Reagan was the worst thing in the world.

01:34:19.000 He was the Trump of that time.

01:34:21.000 And if you heard someone was into Ron Reagan, even in the punk scene, you'd go, oh, that's kind of weird.

01:34:26.000 Like the band Gangrene seemed to be into him.

01:34:29.000 And obviously Johnny Ramone was into Ronald Reagan.

01:34:33.000 And it was just like edgy and weird. 0.99

01:34:35.000 It wasn't like the end of your fucking career, which it is now. 0.99

01:34:42.000 Yeah, fully. 0.95

01:34:43.000 I mean, I was reading a book and I was trying to ask you, I was going to ask you if you would run into any of that kind of thing in New York back in the early 2000s.

01:34:50.000 And, you know, if people were constantly propping up feminism and like immigration rights and all that bullshit. 1.00

01:34:58.000 And like, if you went against that, they might not want to work with you anymore.

01:35:02.000 No, it wasn't really a thing.

01:35:04.000 I mean, in the early aughts in New York City, it was maybe because everyone was still dying of heroin and stuff, we had other priorities.

01:35:14.000 So if someone had, you know, unfortunate political beliefs, like I would wear a screwdriver shirt as a gag. 0.99

01:35:24.000 And people would see me, it said screwdriver, and it had a picture from Robert Crumb's When the Goddamn Niggers Take Over America. 1.00

01:35:32.000 And that was in here, and it would just, it looked not dissimilar to this. 1.00

01:35:37.000 And like an old black dude from the punk scene would see it and laugh his head off and go, where the fuck did you get that shit? 1.00

01:35:44.000 Hmm. 1.00

01:36:01.000 Yeah, I just have one more question. 0.96

01:36:03.000 I'd love to know if you copped any shit as a result of passing out on, I think it was the Strokes stage mid-set or the Kinks stage mid-set in your book? 0.97

01:36:15.000 Kinks? 0.99

01:36:16.000 What, when I was doing my time-traveling rock and roll tour?

01:36:20.000 I think it was the Strokes.

01:36:23.000 It was the Strokes, yeah. 0.99

01:36:25.000 No, I didn't get any shit for that. 0.74

01:36:27.000 Do you have to deal with anything after that? 0.97

01:36:33.000 What's the question?

01:36:36.000 Did we do anything after that?

01:36:37.000 Well, I noticed it in your book. 0.98

01:36:39.000 No, like, did you have to deal with any employers or people thinking that you're a fucking shitbag after passing out on their stage in the middle of their performance? 0.99

01:36:49.000 No, no one found out, really, about my shitbag behavior. 0.99

01:36:54.000 NME asked me for my article, and I didn't really have anything ready, so I just kind of made up a whole fucking story that was complete horseshit, and they were happy. 0.98

01:37:05.000 The strokes were not impressed. 0.96

01:37:07.000 The strokes were not nuts about my made-up story where I talked about getting wasted with them and all kinds of stuff that was absolutely not true.

01:37:15.000 But I never really paid the piper for that crime.

01:37:20.000 All right, that's enough.

01:37:21.000 Thanks for calling.

01:37:22.000 I'm going to leave you with one more thing.

01:37:24.000 You should look up Selaine Brock.

01:37:25.000 No, we don't.

01:37:26.000 That's too many things.

01:37:27.000 You've already had too many things.

01:37:29.000 Didn't you get him in trouble with his wife or somebody's fiancée?

01:37:33.000 Well, that was an assumption.

01:37:34.000 No, Fabrizio Moretti was the drummer.

01:37:39.000 And they said, where was Fabrizio? 0.99

01:37:40.000 And I didn't remember talking to him, I was so shit-faced. 0.98

01:37:43.000 So I went, uh, he went off with some groupie. 0.98

01:37:47.000 And it turns out he was dating Drew Barrymore at the time.

01:37:52.000 So I basically framed him for an infidelity that he did not commit.

01:37:57.000 My God, that's irresponsible. 0.99

01:37:58.000 Yeah, that was fucking lame. 1.00

01:38:01.000 Oh my God. 0.99

01:38:02.000 But that's rock and roll!

01:38:04.000 Speaking of rock and roll, there's Matthew McConaughey on the line.

01:38:09.000 Maybe you can explain the why of things.

01:38:11.000 Hello, Gavin.

01:38:13.000 Hey, Matthew.

01:38:14.000 Gavin?

01:38:14.000 Yeah.

01:38:15.000 Hey, Matt.

01:38:17.000 Gavin, I got a bone to pick with you.

01:38:19.000 Okay.

01:38:20.000 Now, I saw the video you did of me and my good friend Emmanuel, too.

01:38:26.000 Yep.

01:38:27.000 Bless you, by the way.

01:38:29.000 You know why I think you're sneezing is the air conditioning over there in Texas.

01:38:36.000 Well, it is quite hot in Texas, but

01:38:39.000 I would like to just go over with you the when, how, how, who, why, and what of the why of how I came to come across you seeing that video.

01:38:50.000 First of all, the when, it was last Friday, the day after Thursday, and the how was my agent showed it to me.

01:39:01.000 And the who is I had to ask, who are you?

01:39:04.000 I'm not familiar with your work.

01:39:07.000 And my agent told me that you are the leader of a hate group.

01:39:11.000 Yes.

01:39:11.000 And the why I'm calling you is because I feel it is my duty to reach out to you and try and bring you to the light, Gavin.

01:39:21.000 I'm worried about you.

01:39:24.000 And I guess the what is I wonder, what is your problem with racism?

01:39:28.000 What is

01:39:30.000 Why do you feel the need to not try and end it?

01:39:33.000 It seems like you're trying to have a dialogue with a monologue.

01:39:36.000 Yeah, I feel like you're getting to a point where you need to know things that you believe, that you think that we should not necessarily believe, but understand to be believed.

01:39:47.000 And I get that.

01:39:49.000 I get that because it's about knowing not just what you want to say, but what words can be and what will be heard in your ear holes.

01:39:57.000 That's too good.

01:40:01.000 Well, that's an interesting point, Gavin.

01:40:04.000 Thank you, Matt.

01:40:08.000 Thanks for calling, Matt.

01:40:09.000 You're a huge inspiration. 0.97

01:40:13.000 I just want to like, remember Carl Pilkington, he said, I want to be bullshit man. 0.99

01:40:17.000 And I fly through the air and I say, when someone's bullshitting, I just land with my cape and I go, bullshit. 1.00

01:40:23.000 I just want to fly to Matthew McConaughey and go, bullshit. 1.00

01:40:28.000 What you're saying is bullshit. 1.00

01:40:34.000 We got... Johanna. 1.00

01:40:37.000 Joanna.

01:40:38.000 Johanna.

01:40:39.000 Johanna? 1.00

01:40:40.000 Are you retarded? 1.00

01:40:41.000 It says Johanna. 1.00

01:40:43.000 No, that's how you spell Joanna, you fuckwit. 1.00

01:40:46.000 Is it? 1.00

01:40:47.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:40:48.000 How can you know so little about everything? 1.00

01:40:51.000 J-O-H-A-N-N-A? 1.00

01:40:54.000 Yeah.

01:40:54.000 Joanna.

01:40:55.000 Oh.

01:40:58.000 Go ahead, Joanna.

01:41:01.000 It's Yohannes.

01:41:02.000 It's a dude.

01:41:05.000 I knew it.

01:41:05.000 Yohanna.

01:41:06.000 Oh, so it's not Johanna.

01:41:08.000 It's Yohanna.

01:41:10.000 No, Yohannes.

01:41:12.000 Go ahead, Yohannes.

01:41:13.000 First of all, how you guys doing?

01:41:14.000 Go ahead, your honor.

01:41:18.000 Gavin, I don't think it's said often enough.

01:41:19.000 I really just called in to thank you for what you do, and I think your show is super high quality.

01:41:24.000 I love tuning in to it every night, or I guess four nights a week.

01:41:28.000 And no one makes me laugh the way you do.

01:41:31.000 It's kind of like what Joe Rogan, I think, said, once it's involuntary laughter, that's how you like measure if someone's funny or not.

01:41:38.000 And you make me laugh when I least expect it and God bless you for it.

01:41:41.000 Thank you, sir.

01:41:42.000 Appreciate that very much.

01:41:45.000 Nice.

01:41:50.000 OK, calling about a song.

01:41:52.000 Oh, by the way, that song that

01:41:56.000 Ooh, that smell!

01:41:58.000 Love it.

01:42:01.000 You're on the line, 636.

01:42:05.000 Da Vinci and Ry Colangelo, how we doing, boys?

01:42:10.000 What's up, guy?

01:42:10.000 Hey.

01:42:12.000 So, I'm a music producer, and I'm working with a hot new artist.

01:42:17.000 He goes by Ricky, the Handyman.

01:42:19.000 He's out of Newark, New Jersey. 1.00

01:42:21.000 Okay, sounds like he sucks. 1.00

01:42:25.000 Yeah, he's a big fat guy. 1.00

01:42:27.000 He looks just like Vito in The Sopranos.

01:42:30.000 Does he act like Vito?

01:42:33.000 If we catch him somewhere, is he going to say it's a joke? 1.00

01:42:38.000 It's a fucking joke! 1.00

01:42:40.000 Please, it's a fucking joke! 1.00

01:42:42.000 He wrote you a homoerotic love song. 1.00

01:42:45.000 He really wanted you to hear it.

01:42:49.000 If you go on YouTube, Ryan, and just put in Ricky the Handyman.

01:42:55.000 Boots on.

01:42:57.000 Boots on?

01:42:59.000 Yep, boots on.

01:43:00.000 It should be the first result.

01:43:01.000 Oh, okay.

01:43:02.000 I got it.

01:43:04.000 Yep, there you go.

01:43:05.000 And it's to the tune of a song I think you guys will recognize.

01:43:09.000 Alright.

01:43:12.000 Enjoy.

01:43:12.000 Thank you.

01:43:13.000 Thank you very much.

01:43:16.000 Oh no.

01:43:16.000 This is actually good.

01:43:18.000 This is really good. 1.00

01:43:45.000 I've been dreaming about your thicc hog Meet me out back, back Let's fuck till some black flag I know you don't like it diva, yeah But you know I fucking need ya Fuck those little soy boys I'm a man who's employed So let me make you proud boy 1.00

01:44:05.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:44:36.000 Hey, what's up?

01:44:37.000 It's your boy Ricky. 0.97

01:44:39.000 I've been on discord all night looking at Gavin's ass listen, bro If you want some real love give me a call we can hit the music 0.97

01:45:05.000 The symbols! 0.97

01:45:06.000 I'm not even like joke listening anymore.

01:45:09.000 Now I'm just like drawing, listening to music.

01:45:11.000 I feel like Ozzy Osbourne.

01:45:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:19.000 Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.

01:45:40.000 No, it's great.

01:45:40.000 We should play, um, uh, Booyah Nigga.

01:45:43.000 Right.

01:45:44.000 Now how do I get there?

01:45:46.000 Is it in the notes?

01:45:47.000 It's in the Discord. 0.98

01:45:48.000 I mean, it's in the, um, fucking, uh, Reddit. 0.98

01:45:54.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:45:55.000 Gotcha.

01:45:56.000 That still exists.

01:45:56.000 I also parlied it.

01:45:58.000 That still exists.

01:45:59.000 Oh, you did?

01:46:00.000 Okay, we'll go to the parley.

01:46:01.000 No, I didn't parley it, actually.

01:46:03.000 Okay, well then you lied. 0.97

01:46:03.000 It has the word nigga in it. 0.97

01:46:04.000 I chickened out. 0.97

01:46:05.000 Right.

01:46:06.000 Um... Let's take a call.

01:46:08.000 Somebody wants to talk about the book.

01:46:10.000 Uh, what?

01:46:11.000 301.

01:46:12.000 Hey Gavin, am I on?

01:46:14.000 Hey man!

01:46:15.000 Hello?

01:46:15.000 Hello, hello!

01:46:16.000 Yeah, sweet! 0.93

01:46:17.000 Uh, so I got two quick questions.

01:46:19.000 Okay.

01:46:20.000 So, I know you said Lily Allen is a perfect 10 in her sailor outfit, right? 0.69

01:46:24.000 Correct.

01:46:27.000 Do you know Ali Z, the French singer?

01:46:30.000 Ali G? 0.82

01:46:31.000 You find him harder?

01:46:32.000 Ali Z, Ali Z.

01:46:36.000 A-L-I-Z-E. 0.98

01:46:37.000 You heard her?

01:46:37.000 No.

01:46:38.000 Who's that?

01:46:39.000 How do you spell it?

01:46:41.000 A-L-I-Z-E-E. 0.85

01:46:44.000 A-L-I-Z-E-F. 0.99

01:46:45.000 A-L-I-Z-E-E. 0.85

01:46:46.000 Okay.

01:46:48.000 I bet we're not gonna agree on this.

01:46:49.000 And then she has a song.

01:46:51.000 Jen I Marie, I guess.

01:46:54.000 What does that translate?

01:46:55.000 I'm fed up the way she dances. 1.00

01:46:59.000 That's a 10.

01:47:01.000 In her long stockings.

01:47:03.000 And her heels on?

01:47:06.000 Yeah, do you see a black outfit?

01:47:09.000 Yeah, it's a live performance with a four-year-old playing guitar?

01:47:13.000 Yes.

01:47:14.000 Yes.

01:47:18.000 That's like very country looking, like kind of... I think she's a 10.

01:47:24.000 That is a 10.

01:47:27.000 That is a 10, thanks.

01:47:29.000 And then I have a second question about your book.

01:47:32.000 Are you familiar with the chapter, Hey Dude, Where's My Nose?

01:47:36.000 I am very familiar with my own life, yes. 0.97

01:47:41.000 I just want to know what the fuck Jeff was doing while you and Bullshitter Shane were getting your mouse, like, caved in. 1.00

01:47:50.000 Was he just in the back with... 0.99

01:47:52.000 Calling for help or he was just chillin'?

01:47:54.000 He was just chillin'. 1.00

01:47:55.000 I mean, I drove us to the hospital with blood shooting out of my nose and he was so wasted and he was such an asshole that he was just like sitting like, this sucks. 1.00

01:48:05.000 Actually, Shane wanted to go to the clubs in Hull. 0.99

01:48:08.000 He was like, this isn't such a big deal.

01:48:10.000 But, um... Yeah, he was just... I don't even remember if he was at the hospital.

01:48:15.000 I think he may have just taken a cab home.

01:48:17.000 No, actually, I'm pretty sure he stayed there the whole time, in retrospect. 1.00

01:48:20.000 But yeah, what a fucking moron. 1.00

01:48:23.000 Like, it's okay to pick fights. 1.00

01:48:25.000 Wait, go ahead.

01:48:28.000 It's okay to pick fights if you're prepared to, you know, do the dirty work.

01:48:34.000 Alright, thanks for calling.

01:48:40.000 No, no, no, no more of that.

01:48:42.000 I've had enough of that.

01:48:46.000 One more before I leave.

01:48:47.000 If you had to do the laundry and your house was like really hot and you could have been nude but like a painter was coming by to do some touch-ups on your office, would you stay nude or would you have like sweatpants nearby in case you like, you know, you had to answer the door in the nude?

01:49:09.000 We got Brennan.

01:49:14.000 This is Eric, actually.

01:49:16.000 Oh, my bad.

01:49:17.000 Who cares?

01:49:19.000 Yeah, I just wanted to say, Gavin, I think you... I watch your show all the time, and I just found out I'm gay, and I can only watch your show in five-second increments, because I will ruin my boxers if I watch it for any longer.

01:49:35.000 Oh, thank you very much.

01:49:36.000 That's very sweet. 0.96

01:49:38.000 And my question for you is, how do I come out to my dickhead conservative dad? 0.99

01:49:43.000 Just say, just say, Dad, I have AIDS. 0.99

01:49:47.000 And then when he starts crying, go, just kidding, I'm just gay. 0.99

01:49:50.000 Oh yeah. 0.88

01:49:52.000 Okay. 0.95

01:49:53.000 And Ryan, if I get kicked out and my dad disowns me, can I come live in the fag zone with you? 0.99

01:49:58.000 Um, sir, I think, I think wherever you go is the fag zone. 1.00

01:50:03.000 Up top. 0.98

01:50:04.000 Am I right?

01:50:04.000 I'm straight.

01:50:05.000 Nice.

01:50:07.000 Um, thanks for calling.

01:50:07.000 Let's drop the call.

01:50:08.000 It's,

01:50:12.000 Bad service.

01:50:13.000 Pretty funny if I got all mad about those calls. 0.94

01:50:15.000 Like, on Stern, they call this place where the trades like junk.

01:50:22.000 It's called Swap Shop or something.

01:50:24.000 And after, when they get the prank calls, the guy's like, all right, well, it just seems like some people aren't mature enough to handle a Swap Shop show, so we're just going to cut the line.

01:50:33.000 So I hope that person's proud of himself.

01:50:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:36.000 It's all business here, bastards. 1.00

01:50:40.000 Next call, you're on the line. 1.00

01:50:43.000 What's up, G-Dog?

01:50:44.000 What's up, RiceGuy?

01:50:45.000 RiceGuy? 0.80

01:50:47.000 What the... Hey, real quick. 0.99

01:50:50.000 I just moved out here not too long ago to Texas, and I hit up the mall with my wife and kids, and we're walking through, and a typical SJW-looking white bitch passed by and looked at me crazy, you know? 1.00

01:51:07.000 And I asked my wife, I'm like, is she looking at me? 0.98

01:51:10.000 She's like, no, I don't think so.

01:51:12.000 And then she yelled that there was a white supremacist in the mall. 1.00

01:51:17.000 And I didn't, I didn't know.

01:51:18.000 And when I got in the car, I realized I was wearing my Gavin and my, and Ryan, the cartoon one that I ordered from online.

01:51:24.000 So I guess she was talking to me and, um, that bears a question.

01:51:30.000 What, um, how well known are you in that community?

01:51:35.000 You know, that they, uh, they can identify you through a cartoon picture and call a Hispanic guy, a white supremacist. 1.00

01:51:41.000 That's fucking nuts, dude. 0.99

01:51:43.000 So that's the one where I'm holding Ryan's hand and he's super short? 0.99

01:51:47.000 Yeah.

01:51:48.000 This is crazy.

01:51:51.000 It's crazy.

01:51:53.000 They've gone full Hitler. 1.00

01:51:56.000 It's fucking nuts. 1.00

01:52:00.000 Wow. 1.00

01:52:01.000 Uh, I guess I'm very famous.

01:52:03.000 Like I'm famous across the world as this fake boogeyman and they use it to, uh,

01:52:10.000 I don't know, to answer all their problems.

01:52:12.000 I'm impressed, though, that she recognized me from that shirt.

01:52:16.000 You better get that shirt off. 0.88

01:52:20.000 Yeah, I'm gonna burn it.

01:52:23.000 Alright, thanks for calling.

01:52:26.000 Alright, we got Tom.

01:52:28.000 These markers are dead, man.

01:52:29.000 Dang.

01:52:31.000 Tom, you weren't lying, dawg.

01:52:34.000 Hey Gavin, I just want to thank you for posting that

01:52:38.000 YouTube video with Paul Harvey, the policeman.

01:52:42.000 Really, it was just fantastic, and I'm glad you shared that.

01:52:45.000 What are you talking about?

01:52:48.000 Well, you posted a Paul Harvey video, the policeman, on YouTube.

01:52:51.000 You shared it on, I think, Pauler.

01:52:53.000 And it was about explaining what the police... Is Paul Harvey again?

01:52:57.000 It was about what the policeman has to do and all that stuff, and how it just helped me reach out to my niece who was on the job.

01:53:04.000 And it was a really very powerful video.

01:53:08.000 Okay, cool.

01:53:09.000 Wait, let me see.

01:53:10.000 What's this?

01:53:11.000 Is this guy here?

01:53:12.000 Paul Harvey.

01:53:12.000 Oh, that one.

01:53:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:53:14.000 That's a classic.

01:53:15.000 That's a classic. 0.99

01:53:16.000 Isn't it sad that you have to go back to, I think Paul Harvey was from like the 60s, to explain to people what this fucking job is. 0.99

01:53:26.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:53:28.000 Nice job, Gavin.

01:53:29.000 Thank you.

01:53:30.000 Thank you.

01:53:31.000 Thanks for calling.

01:53:33.000 You're good.

01:53:34.000 Yeah, he was a big, he was like the Rush Limbaugh of the 60s.

01:53:40.000 Uh oh, what's this? 1.00

01:53:44.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

01:53:45.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:47.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:47.000 Bring out whiskey. 1.00

01:53:49.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:50.000 Bring out whiskey. 1.00

01:53:50.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:51.000 Here you go. 1.00

01:53:52.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:54.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:55.000 Get shit hammered. 1.00

01:53:56.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:57.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:53:58.000 On the show! 0.99

01:54:02.000 Dude, yee-yee.

01:54:03.000 Drunk. 1.00

01:54:04.000 Nigga is drunk. 1.00

01:54:05.000 Yee-yee. 0.99

01:54:07.000 Pissed.

01:54:08.000 What? 1.00

01:54:08.000 I'm fucking pissed. 1.00

01:54:10.000 Whoa. 0.99

01:54:10.000 Plastered. 0.99

01:54:11.000 I'm fucking plastered. 0.99

01:54:13.000 Yee-yee. 1.00

01:54:13.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

01:54:14.000 Let me restart the whole thing. 1.00

01:54:15.000 I'm close to canceling this show. 0.98

01:54:17.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:19.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:19.000 Bring out whiskey. 1.00

01:54:21.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:22.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:23.000 There you go. 1.00

01:54:24.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:25.000 Some more whiskey. 1.00

01:54:26.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:27.000 Get shit hammered. 1.00

01:54:28.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:28.000 Some more whiskey. 1.00

01:54:29.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:54:30.000 On the show! 0.98

01:54:34.000 Whoever did that, pretty damn good.

01:54:36.000 It's good at their job.

01:54:37.000 To be clear, booyah nigga. 1.00

01:54:38.000 Nigga means that. 0.98

01:54:40.000 Booyah means don't want. 0.96

01:54:42.000 So when every time, I've been to China many times, but when we were last there in Singapore.

01:54:47.000 With the David Cross shooting, the Vice travel thing.

01:54:50.000 All these people come up with these little pamphlets of fake Rolex and stuff, and, hey, you'll buy, you'll buy. 0.73

01:54:57.000 And it's annoying, and you're just like, and then after a while we're like, booyah, nigga. 0.95

01:55:01.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:55:02.000 Because it means I don't want that. 1.00

01:55:04.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:55:04.000 Yeah, that's right. 1.00

01:55:05.000 Booyah, nigga. 1.00

01:55:06.000 It was fun.

01:55:08.000 Then we liked them coming by because we got to rap.

01:55:11.000 We got Brian talking about punk rock.

01:55:18.000 Go ahead, Brian.

01:55:20.000 Do your thing, Brian.

01:55:20.000 Go up.

01:55:21.000 Go up.

01:55:22.000 Go up.

01:55:23.000 I just made that up right now.

01:55:24.000 What's up, gentlemen?

01:55:26.000 What's up, dude?

01:55:29.000 Not much.

01:55:31.000 I think it goes without saying that our lifetime, we won't see a reunion of Anal Chinook, unfortunately. 0.83

01:55:39.000 I mean, I'd have to truck all the way up to Canada and then spend like three weeks practicing.

01:55:46.000 Also, I started a hardcore cover band here in New York and it is exhausting!

01:55:51.000 That's what I was going to ask you about.

01:55:54.000 Jumping around and you get a headache from the screaming.

01:55:57.000 It's a young man's game. 0.87

01:56:00.000 So you did like 80s hardcore punk, right?

01:56:03.000 Yeah, you can find it online.

01:56:06.000 Oh, it was on my YouTube page.

01:56:08.000 I saw you in a parking lot.

01:56:10.000 Yeah, we did a show in a parking lot once and we just did like, you know, it was really, we, we did, you know, uh, we did Cro-Mags and, and Minor Threat and stuff. 1.00

01:56:20.000 Bad Brains was a fucking bitch. 1.00

01:56:23.000 And Black Flag was basically impossible outside of six pack. 1.00

01:56:26.000 Even six pack was unbelievably hard.

01:56:29.000 Those guys are jazz musicians.

01:56:32.000 You would think that it would just be four, four, three power chords.

01:56:37.000 One, two, three, four.

01:56:38.000 It is 90% of the time with 90% of the bands, but Black Flag and Bad Brains were in a different universe.

01:56:43.000 And we didn't realize until we were... Well, I don't play an instrument, but until those guys were like... I can't do this.

01:56:48.000 I can't do this. 0.99

01:56:53.000 Chromags and fucking Agnostic Front though. 0.99

01:56:55.000 That was some easy peasy lemon squeezy. 0.99

01:56:59.000 What was the name of the band?

01:57:00.000 You do your video?

01:57:02.000 I think it was 80's Hardcore.

01:57:04.000 It was 80S and then HC.

01:57:07.000 So.

01:57:09.000 Ah.

01:57:09.000 Or maybe it's all one word.

01:57:11.000 80SHC.

01:57:12.000 Anyway, thanks for calling, buddy.

01:57:17.000 I'm looking for it, because I remember- So we don't do the Discord anymore, it's gone.

01:57:21.000 It sucks, right?

01:57:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:57:22.000 Isn't that- this week is nuts! 0.99

01:57:24.000 Mm-hmm.

01:57:26.000 All the bots- Anyway, I'm done my drawing.

01:57:29.000 Oh! 0.60

01:57:32.000 Give a little rotate for us here.

01:57:35.000 Maybe it's easier to see with this camera.

01:57:41.000 Not great.

01:57:42.000 That's pretty cool, I thought.

01:57:44.000 Might look nice framed.

01:57:47.000 You know, if you can explain the whole story.

01:57:49.000 I think it's pretty cool.

01:57:53.000 Got Max.

01:57:54.000 Talk about Disco.

01:57:58.000 Uh, yeah.

01:57:58.000 Hey.

01:57:59.000 So maybe I can answer some of your questions about Discord.

01:58:03.000 About a week ago when you opened Discord, yeah.

01:58:08.000 The Discord program.

01:58:11.000 So about a week ago when you launched Discord, they had a banner at the top of the program which said

01:58:16.000 Discord is now committed to Black Lives Matter.

01:58:19.000 Click here to read more.

01:58:21.000 And you click on it and it tells you how they're going to shut down hate discords and all this nonsense.

01:58:26.000 And so the Gavin McGinnis Discord was renamed to the Justice for Floyd Discord.

01:58:32.000 Hopefully they wouldn't delete it.

01:58:34.000 But they deleted it anyways.

01:58:37.000 So there's an alternative.

01:58:39.000 You know, we have to keep making alternatives for everything.

01:58:41.000 They ban you off Twitter.

01:58:42.000 You got to have Parler.

01:58:43.000 I don't know if you know this.

01:58:46.000 Did I ever say black lives don't matter?

01:58:48.000 Like, why am I the anti-black guy? 1.00

01:58:54.000 I know more black people than any of the people coming up with these stupid rules. 1.00

01:59:00.000 Yeah, could be. 1.00

01:59:02.000 But I just want to let all the listeners know what the alternative is.

01:59:05.000 Okay.

01:59:05.000 So if you go to rebrand.ly slash censored TV, that'll forward you over to it's a platform called matrix.

01:59:14.000 You access it through something called riot.

01:59:16.000 And it's basically discord, but you host it yourself.

01:59:19.000 It's decentralized, it's open source, it's encrypted, so they can never shut it down.

01:59:23.000 So go back and show yourself typing that in one more time.

01:59:27.000 It's rebrand.

01:59:30.000 Rebrand.ly slash censored TV.

01:59:36.000 You'll have to make an account.

01:59:37.000 Ryan, show yourself typing that in.

01:59:45.000 Rebrand.ly slash censored dot TV?

01:59:49.000 Nope.

01:59:50.000 Censored TV.

01:59:50.000 No, just just censored TV.

01:59:52.000 You've already done your dot.

01:59:54.000 The actual, the actual link is, uh,

01:59:57.000 Harder to say on the air.

01:59:58.000 So this is just forwarding you. 0.93

02:00:03.000 Isn't it crazy how this is, you know, I remember having friends who lived in Moscow in the nineties and they would, they'd always have weird shit like this. 0.91

02:00:13.000 We are living in Russia.

02:00:16.000 They're always like, yes, I can watch any movie I want, but I have to get through my encrypted VPN.

02:00:22.000 All right, don't go showing them all that, but thank you for showing us that.

02:00:25.000 So Riot.HM, I guess it is.

02:00:30.000 Uh, yeah.

02:00:30.000 And this is, yeah, pretty much the same Discord, but they can never shut it down because no corporation controls it.

02:00:36.000 Um, but there's another website to check out as well.

02:00:38.000 So there's, uh, the Donald.Win.

02:00:40.000 I don't know if you know about this, but once Reddit shut down the Donald subreddit, some guys created their own version of Reddit.

02:00:46.000 Show yourself typing it in.

02:00:48.000 The Donald.

02:00:49.000 The Donald.Win.

02:00:52.000 Yeah, this is basically Reddit for only Donald Trump, and they plan on adding a Gavin McGinnis censored TV section to that website.

02:01:00.000 So we'll have our own private Discord on Riot, and we have our own private Reddit on TheDonald.Win.

02:01:05.000 Cool, when is that all going to happen? 0.99

02:01:08.000 We have to run our own shit, Dave. 0.99

02:01:11.000 Soon is what I heard for TheDonald.Win thing. 0.99

02:01:14.000 But people can join the Riot right now.

02:01:17.000 Well, it makes sense that we would have to do all this encryption and hiding.

02:01:20.000 I mean, we are trafficking in the adrenochrome of young startled babies and having bizarre, elaborate satanic ceremonies on a regular basis.

02:01:32.000 So that's not going to be mainstream.

02:01:36.000 Right?

02:01:37.000 Yeah, I know.

02:01:39.000 Well, yeah.

02:01:40.000 Have a good night, guys.

02:01:41.000 You too.

02:01:42.000 Thanks for calling.

02:01:43.000 And that is our show, folks.

02:01:45.000 We're out of time. 0.99

02:01:46.000 Um, I'd like to end this evening with a call to arms where I would say, not just get fired, but what the fuck is going on? 1.00

02:01:59.000 We are getting buried in bullshit. 0.99

02:02:03.000 We are getting hidden and driven from the cities, driven from the internet. 0.99

02:02:08.000 There's something they don't want us to see.

02:02:11.000 There's something they don't want others to hear us say.

02:02:14.000 And you know what that is?

02:02:16.000 That's the truth.

02:02:17.000 And you know what the solution to that is?

02:02:20.000 Keep saying the truth.

02:02:22.000 Keep fighting.

02:02:24.000 Keep winning.

02:02:26.000 Get fired.

02:02:27.000 Get in trouble.

02:02:28.000 Be brave.

02:02:29.000 And never stop fighting. 0.95

02:02:31.000 Booyah, nigga! 1.00

02:02:32.000 Get shithammered! 1.00

02:02:33.000 Booyah, nigga! 1.00

02:02:34.000 Booyah, nigga! 1.00

02:02:35.000 On the show! 0.99

02:02:39.000 Dude, yee-yee! 1.00

02:02:40.000 Drunk! 1.00

02:02:41.000 Nigga is drunk! 1.00

02:02:42.000 Yee-yee! 1.00

02:02:44.000 Pissed!

02:02:45.000 What? 1.00

02:02:45.000 I'm fucking pissed! 1.00

02:02:46.000 Woah! 0.99

02:02:47.000 Plastered! 0.99

02:02:48.000 I'm fucking plastered! 0.99

02:02:50.000 Yee-yee! 1.00

02:02:50.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

02:02:52.000 Let me restart the whole thing. 1.00

02:02:52.000 I'm close to cancelling this show. 1.00

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 26, 2020

GOML LIVE #53 | PARLER IS LIT

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Summary

Transcript