Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #64 - NO MASK

00:00:03.000 I was set up, I was set up, dancing you're not supposed to get set up.

00:00:09.000 I was set up, I was set up, dancing you're not supposed to get set up.

00:00:14.000 Live from New York, it's you.

00:00:16.000 Get off my lawn with Kevin McGuinness.

00:00:21.000 I was set up, I was set up, dancing you're not supposed to get set up.

00:00:27.000 How much do they hate Nancy Paluska?

00:00:30.000 It's the big crazy Nancy. 1.00

00:00:31.000 She's like the big historian, highly overrated person.

00:00:34.000 Look at your sister.

00:00:35.000 They just turned off the camera because they don't want me singing.

00:00:39.000 And the salon.

00:00:43.000 What can't Trump do?

00:00:45.000 Now he raps.

00:00:47.000 I can't rap.

00:00:48.000 Let me try.

00:00:49.000 Rap, rap, rappity rap.

00:00:51.000 Wait, you got it.

00:00:51.000 You want a beep?

00:00:52.000 Yeah.

00:00:53.000 Okay.

00:00:55.000 It's not going to go well, folks.

00:00:56.000 It's freestyling.

00:00:58.000 Okay.

00:00:59.000 Here we go.

00:01:05.000 Yo, what's up?

00:01:06.000 Let's get real.

00:01:07.000 This is to the dawn.

00:01:09.000 We're sitting around the studio watching get off my lawn.

00:01:13.000 No, we ain't watching it.

00:01:14.000 We're doing it.

00:01:15.000 This is the shit.

00:01:16.000 We're live, motherfucker.

00:01:22.000 I should have done the background hype things where they go.

00:01:25.000 And they go, I want to start doing that Cardi B thing.

00:01:30.000 Yeah.

00:01:30.000 How does she do it?

00:01:35.000 We have a lot of stuff before we start the show.

00:01:38.000 So before we even get started, we'd like to welcome back Bet DSI.

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00:02:54.000 We like you more than a friend.

00:02:55.000 Pull up that dude who does a better Trump than you.

00:02:57.000 We got a podium now.

00:02:58.000 Oh, that's the podium.

00:03:03.000 Welcome.

00:03:04.000 Misunderstanding.

00:03:05.000 Trump was unable to be here for the inauguration.

00:03:09.000 I'm going to reel him in.

00:03:10.000 I'm going to...

00:03:11.000 What's the word?

00:03:11.000 Sorry, I'm already fucking up this inauguration.

00:03:13.000 This is off the cuff.

00:03:14.000 I did a bump in the hallway just before I got here.

00:03:17.000 Thought I'd be watching it, not doing it, but I'm doing it.

00:03:19.000 I'm a little jittery.

00:03:20.000 I want to say, we're finally going to start on that fucking wall.

00:03:24.000 Sorry, my friend Don is.

00:03:26.000 Sorry this took so long.

00:03:28.000 The wall's coming.

00:03:29.000 War on drugs is over.

00:03:31.000 That was stupid.

00:03:32.000 Border's getting shut down.

00:03:34.000 Guess what else?

00:03:35.000 Welfare.

00:03:36.000 Now relax, ghetto. 0.99

00:03:39.000 We're not going to just strip it tomorrow.

00:03:40.000 We're going to slowly institute a program of volunteerism.

00:03:44.000 You get your welfare if you volunteer.

00:03:47.000 Plenty of jobs picking up garbage by the highway.

00:03:50.000 But you got to do something.

00:03:51.000 No more sitting on your ass for free. 0.75

00:03:53.000 And here's an idea for the black community in BLM. 0.90

00:03:56.000 How about more fathers?

00:03:58.000 No more incentivizing single mothers. 1.00

00:04:01.000 We're done shattering the black family. 1.00

00:04:03.000 Lots of dads.

00:04:04.000 Bringing the black family back. 0.97

00:04:06.000 Beautiful dads.

00:04:07.000 Tons of dads.

00:04:08.000 Beautiful black dads.

00:04:09.000 Wonderful families.

00:04:14.000 Well, Sleepy Joe is a total disgrace.

00:04:17.000 And frankly, the only reason why he came out of his basement was because it was flooded.

00:04:22.000 And even then, he couldn't make his way out of his basement.

00:04:25.000 He's got the nose like evil bulbs.

00:04:29.000 And he gave a speech the other day, and it was horrible.

00:04:32.000 Nobody showed up.

00:04:34.000 He had about six people.

00:04:36.000 Five were like his doctors.

00:04:38.000 If one was his wife, that was his wife. 0.97

00:04:40.000 Crazy.

00:04:41.000 And he's a doctor.

00:04:42.000 He's a good look, right?

00:04:43.000 I mean, it's sad.

00:04:45.000 He's got about as much energy as a windmill.

00:04:50.000 That's perfect.

00:04:51.000 It hurts my feelings to watch that.

00:04:53.000 If I worked in the CIA, that guy would be in the White House.

00:04:56.000 Yeah.

00:04:57.000 And we just say, look, don't get sick.

00:04:59.000 Don't drink yourself till you're shit faced, but you can drink whatever you want.

00:05:03.000 Free food.

00:05:03.000 Here's some books and magazines.

00:05:05.000 On the one in a million chance the president is kidnapped or there's some sort of problem with his throat, we're going to need you to do a press conference and tell America that everyone is fine.

00:05:16.000 See, I'm a big, I'm not into fair.

00:05:19.000 I like like Kissingerian politics.

00:05:22.000 I want despots to disappear in the middle of the night.

00:05:25.000 Like when Mugabe was around, I always said, and I pissed off Penny Rimbaud from Crass with this.

00:05:29.000 I'm like, let's go get him in the middle of the night.

00:05:32.000 What are we waiting for?

00:05:33.000 Don't tell the American public.

00:05:36.000 But fucking...

00:05:38.000 Why do we have despots? 0.96

00:05:40.000 Like, why did we have EDM in and all this?

00:05:42.000 We fight all these big, stupid wars to get rid of the entire snake.

00:05:46.000 Just chop its head off.

00:05:48.000 Get rid of it.

00:05:50.000 And Penny goes, so why would you want to kill Mugabe?

00:05:53.000 I said, no, I'm not going to bother killing him.

00:05:55.000 I got a family and stuff.

00:05:57.000 But I feel like it'd be really fucking easy to kill him.

00:06:00.000 You just, here's what you do.

00:06:04.000 You go to Zimbabwe and you're doing a feature film on Mugabe.

00:06:07.000 He's a megalomaniac, right?

00:06:08.000 And they see a white, rich American's coming across.

00:06:11.000 They see your history.

00:06:12.000 They'd see my history, right?

00:06:13.000 Oh, you worked in media for a long time.

00:06:16.000 And then, very simple.

00:06:18.000 You leave him a laptop as a gift.

00:06:24.000 Top of state-of-the-art MacBook Pro.

00:06:26.000 Get back on the plane.

00:06:27.000 Detonate.

00:06:28.000 Boom.

00:06:30.000 It is a disaster.

00:06:32.000 Or the guy was like four feet tall.

00:06:34.000 Just you say, like, he killed millions of people.

00:06:37.000 Well, not millions, thousands of people.

00:06:38.000 That's brothers, mothers, sisters.

00:06:40.000 If he killed my mother, I just go in there: hey, Mr. Mugabe, I'd like to work for you as a security.

00:06:46.000 I remember one of the best lines I ever read in my life was this African journalist who said that Mugabe ate the poo-poo. 0.95

00:06:54.000 No, this African journalist who was saying he wears 14-karat gold eyeglass frames, though it's not clear if he's wearing the glasses or the glasses are wearing him.

00:07:09.000 Look at those things.

00:07:11.000 Wow, those are loud.

00:07:12.000 Thick gold glasses and a fucking Hitler mustache. 0.74

00:07:17.000 He's my favorite dictator of all time.

00:07:19.000 Sorry, Hitler. 0.92

00:07:20.000 You didn't make the cuts.

00:07:22.000 His dinner, when he turned 90, it was like 400-year-old turtles, dolphins, sharks, lions, all to eat.

00:07:31.000 And then he started fucking his secretary and he willed Zimbabwe to her as a parting gift. 0.82

00:07:38.000 Wow.

00:07:38.000 That didn't go great with the gang.

00:07:40.000 His kids are all over Instagram with Rolex.

00:07:42.000 The country's in complete disarray.

00:07:45.000 And his kids are all not billionaires, multi-millionaires.

00:07:48.000 There he is, boring the hair of the woman behind him.

00:07:52.000 It's like Chavez's daughter.

00:07:55.000 She's worth $3.5 billion. 0.92

00:07:56.000 Meanwhile, the citizens of Venezuela are eating their cats.

00:08:03.000 Was that a picture of him as a young man?

00:08:05.000 Looks like the gray.

00:08:06.000 He's a totally different head.

00:08:08.000 Yeah.

00:08:08.000 He's got the gray come in there.

00:08:10.000 Forgot some person.

00:08:11.000 Maybe that's the Zimbabwean Bob Debono.

00:08:14.000 Has he always had a Hitler mustache? 0.77

00:08:16.000 I think he may.

00:08:17.000 I'm not exaggerating.

00:08:18.000 He may be the only person in the world with a Hitler mustache. 0.89

00:08:23.000 Name another person.

00:08:25.000 I remember Chris Narakko did it as a joke once for Christmas.

00:08:31.000 You know what I've realized with this show, by the way?

00:08:33.000 Oh, check out these hot shirts.

00:08:35.000 I've realized that when we pack a lot of news in here, we got the reads and then we got the calls and we got the this and the free.

00:08:43.000 This is the free part.

00:08:44.000 This is a podcast.

00:08:45.000 It just, I don't like to bite off more than I can chew.

00:08:46.000 So we're going to keep it light this episode.

00:08:48.000 Tomorrow I want to go through persecution of the proud boys, all the lies about them, all of this BLM rioting and stuff. 0.99

00:08:57.000 But we'll touch on some of it.

00:08:59.000 But I also want to showcase...

00:09:01.000 Wait, what did that say?

00:09:03.000 I want to showcase our shirts.

00:09:07.000 Man with Hitler mustache charged in weapons case.

00:09:10.000 Does that give it like a multiplier?

00:09:13.000 But he's joking.

00:09:14.000 That guy isn't.

00:09:16.000 Oh, that guy looks serious.

00:09:17.000 Maybe he doesn't know about Hitler, to be fair.

00:09:21.000 Hootler? 0.96

00:09:24.000 We've also started this week doing Book of the Day.

00:09:28.000 Today's book is Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich.

00:09:31.000 Fantastic book.

00:09:31.000 She did another book after this that sucked rotten eggs called Bait and Switch.

00:09:37.000 She also did this book, Global Woman.

00:09:40.000 This is a really good book, too.

00:09:42.000 All you feminists out there can see what you and I have in common. 1.00

00:09:45.000 Global Woman is about how we, these third world countries have outsourced love, nannies, maids, and sex workers in the new economy.

00:09:55.000 And the whole concept of your Filipina nanny means she's not there for her kids. 1.00

00:10:03.000 And what she ends up doing is falling in love with your kids. 0.89

00:10:06.000 And her kids miss her terribly.

00:10:08.000 Something like 90% of the kids in these third world countries say, I would never be a nanny.

00:10:12.000 No way.

00:10:12.000 I would never do that to my kids.

00:10:14.000 You're having an affair.

00:10:16.000 You're cheating on your kids.

00:10:17.000 It's out of sight, out of mind.

00:10:18.000 And you change and hug the diapers of this two-year-old and you're with him till he's four and you're hugging him and kissing him to bed at night.

00:10:24.000 He's your kid.

00:10:25.000 You fall in love with that kid.

00:10:26.000 Then they get fired.

00:10:28.000 That's like taking their kids away.

00:10:29.000 It's a bizarre, sick thing.

00:10:31.000 And the fact that we do it across borders, the fact that we import love is fucking sick and wrong.

00:10:37.000 There, that's my thing.

00:10:38.000 I want to be a woman.

00:10:43.000 That's my unpopular opinion of the day.

00:10:47.000 I have another unpopular opinion about this shooting in Brooklyn at the Jouver Festival.

00:10:52.000 So fucking infuriating.

00:10:53.000 I'm going to talk about that more tomorrow.

00:10:55.000 But these two kids were shot.

00:10:58.000 That's how bad gang warfare is.

00:11:00.000 They're shot.

00:11:01.000 Go back to that picture of the shooting and the woman crying.

00:11:06.000 Here, go to my parlor.

00:11:09.000 I just noticed two things about this.

00:11:12.000 We'll get into the rest later.

00:11:14.000 But how about some culpability from these black mothers? 1.00

00:11:17.000 What the fuck are your kids doing out at three in the morning?

00:11:21.000 Imagine our kids, a white guy's kids got shot.

00:11:25.000 Okay, so look at these two pictures.

00:11:27.000 I thought these were two different moms. 1.00

00:11:28.000 No, her weave fell off.

00:11:30.000 Oh.

00:11:33.000 Oh.

00:11:34.000 And it's because it's different printing, it's a different shade of pink.

00:11:37.000 That's the same shirt.

00:11:39.000 She's got these cheetah pants. 1.00

00:11:40.000 She was out there meeting hot guys at the party. 0.90

00:11:44.000 It's where a lot of gangbangers come to settle their score.

00:11:46.000 It's also a fun party, and you get to meet guys.

00:11:49.000 So they're all done up, ready to party.

00:11:51.000 And her six-year-old brother's there, too.

00:11:53.000 So same thing.

00:11:55.000 You've got your weave on. 0.94

00:11:56.000 You're crying your eyes out in your picture.

00:11:57.000 You're hamming it up for the cameras.

00:11:59.000 But check this out.

00:12:01.000 That fucking kid has a cast.

00:12:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:05.000 So you're such a...

00:12:06.000 Look, I'm not saying every six-year-old's mom with a cast is a shitty mom, but it's not a great sign.

00:12:14.000 Especially because kids have pretty pliable bones when they're young.

00:12:18.000 So breaking a kid's arm that severely where he needs a cast from above his elbow all the way down, that's not a great sign.

00:12:25.000 I know I say I like to see kids in casts, but a little older than that and not the same ones that got shot through the fucking femur.

00:12:35.000 It's 10 o'clock.

00:12:36.000 Do you know where your kids are?

00:12:37.000 Anyway, this book.

00:12:38.000 So I coined the term immersionism a long time ago, and it did not take off as a term.

00:12:44.000 I'm still pretty happy with it.

00:12:45.000 And it relates to, Ryan, what are you doing?

00:12:49.000 What are you doing?

00:12:50.000 I'm just, there's a little schmutz on the table.

00:12:51.000 Okay, could you maybe worry about the schmutt water?

00:12:53.000 You're worried about water from your condensation of your cup.

00:12:57.000 Is that what you're doing?

00:12:58.000 Yep.

00:12:59.000 So he has a large glass of water.

00:13:02.000 There's condensation on that.

00:13:03.000 The studio's warm.

00:13:04.000 The water's cold.

00:13:05.000 Some condensation dripped down his cup onto the table.

00:13:08.000 He's got Kleenex there, and he's washing the condensation off the table while he should be doing the show.

00:13:15.000 Figured it'd be quick.

00:13:17.000 Anyway, what Barbara Ehrenreich did is she said, We hear about working class this, working class that.

00:13:22.000 Can you survive on a working class salary?

00:13:25.000 I'm going to try it.

00:13:26.000 And she worked in diners. 0.99

00:13:27.000 She was a waitress. 1.00

00:13:28.000 She was a maid. 1.00

00:13:29.000 And she goes, no, you can't.

00:13:31.000 Morgan Spurlock did the same thing when he did his 60 Days show.

00:13:35.000 And he would be someone for 60 days.

00:13:37.000 He was a Muslim.

00:13:38.000 He was a blue-collar dude with no money.

00:13:41.000 He was just working.

00:13:42.000 And he did well.

00:13:43.000 He stayed at a motel.

00:13:44.000 And the only reason he lost his money is because his stupid bitch girlfriend had a yeast infection. 1.00

00:13:49.000 No, a UTI, sorry.

00:13:50.000 And she had to go and she didn't have health insurance.

00:13:53.000 So it was like $1,400 and that drained their bank account.

00:13:55.000 Bitch, have some cranberry sauce. 1.00

00:13:57.000 Okay, drink some cranberry juice.

00:13:58.000 She would have been fine.

00:13:59.000 You don't need to spend that money.

00:14:00.000 Every girl gets a UTI, especially women that are with me because my dick is like a fucking anaconda. 1.00

00:14:07.000 So that was stupid.

00:14:08.000 But in this book, she forgets like this normal survival instincts.

00:14:14.000 So she doesn't stay at a friend's house for a while while she generates money. 0.98

00:14:18.000 She tries to get enough money for an apartment, but she can't get the deposit because she's broke.

00:14:22.000 So she stays at a motel and that ends up eating up all her money.

00:14:25.000 That's not how people operate.

00:14:26.000 You crash on a couch.

00:14:28.000 This is more like for an immigrant who just got here and is totally alone.

00:14:31.000 And even then, they'd have the Polish or the Mexican community.

00:14:34.000 The other problem with this book is she totally ignores legal aliens. 0.99

00:14:38.000 Never touches the subject whatsoever.

00:14:40.000 And you're like, if you're talking about working in America starting from zero, you kind of have to include illegals. 0.96

00:14:48.000 So there's some major flaws with it, but it's fascinating to hear someone actually do this.

00:14:52.000 This is why I brought up the book Rats the other day because he actually went there and spent months with rats.

00:14:58.000 I don't mean snitches.

00:14:59.000 I mean actual disgusting rodents.

00:15:02.000 So kudos to Barbara for actually trying it and not just pontificating. 1.00

00:15:06.000 The biggest problem with the media today is everyone is just pontificating and guessing what it's probably like out there based on someone else's fucking tweet.

00:15:19.000 And you don't learn about life watching someone else's tweet.

00:15:23.000 This is another one of my favorites.

00:15:24.000 Hate has no home here.

00:15:25.000 I thought you'll notice these are really prevalent in all white neighborhoods.

00:15:29.000 And I thought it would be great to just get the same font and everything and make it blacks have no home here. 1.00

00:15:35.000 Oh my God.

00:15:36.000 Just like glue it to the sign.

00:15:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:40.000 So it would take them a few days.

00:15:41.000 That's basically murder.

00:15:43.000 I got into an argument with a woman in my neighborhood.

00:15:44.000 And I was like, I can't believe you people talk about diversity here.

00:15:48.000 It's the whitest neighborhood I've ever been to.

00:15:50.000 Like not just lived in.

00:15:52.000 And she goes, oh, really?

00:15:53.000 How about my, there's plenty of diversity here, religious diversity.

00:15:57.000 How about my two nieces who are trans? 0.69

00:16:00.000 Touche.

00:16:01.000 What?

00:16:02.000 Touche.

00:16:04.000 By the way, folks in white neighborhoods, if you really want to show how open-minded you are and how much you love other groups, go to the black neighborhood near you.

00:16:14.000 There's always one within three miles.

00:16:16.000 Volunteer.

00:16:17.000 Be a math tutor.

00:16:19.000 Work with them.

00:16:21.000 They'd love to have you.

00:16:22.000 Go to the school.

00:16:22.000 Help with after-school programs.

00:16:25.000 Oh, no?

00:16:25.000 Oh, you don't have time?

00:16:26.000 Oh, okay.

00:16:27.000 Just the sign then.

00:16:28.000 Just the sign.

00:16:29.000 Okay.

00:16:29.000 I got you.

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00:17:22.000 jacbd.com promo code gavin 20 off all orders speaking of getting your news from twitter i learned today did you you probably didn't know this and i didn't learn this from being out in the field i learned this from hearing what other people say but did you know that that's an inside joke that only i know no no no you told me you know it yeah my son used to before he was consumed with baseball he used to have these sayings and

00:19:21.000 later he is released on parole and gets a reduced sentence because of the extra masks and nobody remembers what happened to this policeman who killed the black person Did you even know that?

00:19:35.000 No.

00:19:36.000 You have to get international to get the real news.

00:19:38.000 You have to not go out there and actually talk to people and experience stuff, but go listen to other fucking bullshit dird world media.

00:19:45.000 How amazing is that?

00:19:47.000 Lebanese TV is claiming that because of the mask shortage, which I didn't know about, the white people who are in control are killing blacks.

00:19:55.000 That's like, wait a minute.

00:19:57.000 Masks are, you need a lot.

00:19:59.000 So you'd have to slaughter like millions of blacks, half the black population. 0.98

00:20:04.000 And you'd have these bodies everywhere, like big farmers fields of just black bodies. 1.00

00:20:10.000 And you don't just wear one mask.

00:20:11.000 You need a couple.

00:20:12.000 Right.

00:20:12.000 So each person, each white person would be responsible for like 30 black deaths.

00:20:16.000 Oh my God.

00:20:18.000 What about old people that need it the most?

00:20:20.000 Like, how are they going to kill them?

00:20:21.000 There are like 100 black deaths.

00:20:22.000 But how do they kill them?

00:20:26.000 The society.

00:20:26.000 No, no, no.

00:20:27.000 I just meant like per number.

00:20:29.000 As far as the killing goes, his contention is that the white government has the police go out and kill them.

00:20:34.000 Oh, okay, thanks.

00:20:35.000 They summon them using a chant.

00:20:41.000 We should make up stuff about Lebanon.

00:20:43.000 F it.

00:20:45.000 Yeah, I got some news about Lebanon.

00:20:48.000 It sucks.

00:20:51.000 It used to be a wonderful Christian country.

00:20:54.000 Then the Muslims came along. 1.00

00:20:55.000 It was 50-50 for a while.

00:20:57.000 And the Muslims do what Muslims do. 1.00

00:21:00.000 And they kicked out all the Christians who moved to Canada mostly. 0.77

00:21:04.000 They seem to take over Ottawa.

00:21:06.000 They're awesome.

00:21:07.000 Christian Lebanese.

00:21:08.000 And now it's just like Pakistan. 0.98

00:21:13.000 I think it would be an improvement.

00:21:14.000 This is one of my favorite shirts that we have.

00:21:16.000 Invade Greenland.

00:21:18.000 It's apolitical.

00:21:20.000 It seems patriotic.

00:21:22.000 And it's my new favorite kind of joke.

00:21:24.000 True jokes.

00:21:26.000 I do think we should invade. 0.94

00:21:28.000 Whatever happened to invading?

00:21:30.000 Like, we go to wars.

00:21:31.000 We're in Iraq.

00:21:32.000 We're in Afghanistan.

00:21:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:34.000 That's not really an invasion.

00:21:35.000 We're just sort of around there with this bullshit hearts and minds crap.

00:21:38.000 What are you doing?

00:21:39.000 Just putting on my shirt.

00:21:41.000 My other shirt.

00:21:42.000 I feel like I'm a toad.

00:21:43.000 Wow, you're really good at putting on shirts.

00:21:47.000 And thanks for advertising our clothes and making them look comfortable and cool to wear.

00:21:51.000 Oh, I see.

00:21:52.000 Why do you think I'm doing this?

00:21:53.000 I'm promoting our shirtwear.

00:21:55.000 What, you're too lazy to take your shirt off?

00:21:57.000 Yeah, it's just...

00:21:59.000 Just take the headphones off.

00:22:01.000 Oh, my God.

00:22:01.000 You have to take those.

00:22:02.000 How are you going to ever get them back on?

00:22:04.000 You can see my back knee, which is gross.

00:22:07.000 Don't film your back knee if you're embarrassed of it.

00:22:10.000 By the way, best way to get rid of back knee, you sunburn it off.

00:22:13.000 I heard that.

00:22:14.000 Yeah.

00:22:14.000 Actually, it's been getting very good.

00:22:16.000 Same with acne.

00:22:17.000 Just get a sunburn.

00:22:19.000 Crisp yourself.

00:22:20.000 Burn that marshmallow.

00:22:22.000 Hey, I was...

00:22:23.000 Oh, I didn't explain the opening song.

00:22:25.000 That's by What the Fuck, brah.

00:22:27.000 And we discovered him from a subscriber to the show, sent it into the letters page, and he does these amazing fucking songs.

00:22:34.000 I got to watch it with the swing.

00:22:36.000 He makes these amazing Goldarn songs using, you know, the political zeitgeist.

00:23:00.000 So that's fun.

00:23:00.000 Check that out.

00:23:01.000 I couldn't find any information about him.

00:23:03.000 I think he's from LA.

00:23:05.000 Not sure, though.

00:23:06.000 He's obviously a talented artist.

00:23:07.000 And if you're an artist, you can't really promote Trump and put your face on it without being completely blacklisted.

00:23:14.000 Here's a trip.

00:23:16.000 So I'm watching TV with my youngest last night.

00:23:19.000 And we're watching this reality show about the Bronx Zoo and occasionally the Central Park Zoo.

00:23:24.000 It's called the Zoo.

00:23:25.000 This is 1-1.

00:23:28.000 Check it out.

00:23:30.000 And I'm watching it going, I was never really into zoos.

00:23:34.000 I mean, I don't give a fuck about animals.

00:23:36.000 I see them as mutants.

00:23:38.000 They're genetic accidents that were supposed to be human.

00:23:41.000 And I don't really care if they live or die.

00:23:43.000 I'm not cruel.

00:23:45.000 I don't want to hurt a dog.

00:23:46.000 I'm not like these fucking Middle Eastern kids who will just chop a dog's ears off with shearing scissors and then laugh as it goes, but I just don't, I don't know. 1.00

00:24:01.000 I don't like seeing them in cages.

00:24:02.000 They don't see them in their natural habitat.

00:24:04.000 It just seems wrong.

00:24:05.000 But, you know, in the Bronx Zoo, for example, a lot of these are drug dealers that buy some crazy exotic animal and they realize they can't handle it.

00:24:11.000 So they leave it at the front gate.

00:24:12.000 So it's really conservation.

00:24:14.000 But I was watching this show the other day and all of a sudden I went, you know what?

00:24:18.000 I like zoos.

00:24:20.000 I think they're important.

00:24:22.000 You know why?

00:24:23.000 Because they're mental institutions for the mentally ill. 0.99

00:24:27.000 Welcome to New York.

00:24:29.000 Now, I'm not sure they'll show up in this thing.

00:24:31.000 This trailer seems a little too heavy on the animals, the amylos. 1.00

00:24:36.000 Sorry, my allergies are going nuts.

00:24:38.000 I look like a cokehead. 0.99

00:24:39.000 I look like Artie Lang at a job interview.

00:24:42.000 Did I ever tell you about Tony Curters?

00:24:44.000 But I'm looking at these women who work there, and the women are divided into the following categories. 0.99

00:24:51.000 About 15 to 20% are pretty women with incredible maternal instincts, and no one's put a ring on it, so they don't know what to do, where to funnel this, sort of like Howard Stern's wife. 1.00

00:25:03.000 And what they do is they just look after these animals, and it's all about the babies.

00:25:08.000 And we're having our first penguin baby, and we're watching the egg.

00:25:11.000 And you know that they come in early every day and they work extra hours, and they just love that shit.

00:25:17.000 And that's great.

00:25:18.000 Second category, as far as women go, the other 80%, 85% is... 1.00

00:25:24.000 Oh, shit, you got to sign into your provider.

00:25:27.000 You might be able to watch full episodes, though.

00:25:29.000 Well, YouTube has a million trailers, penis face. 0.85

00:25:33.000 Okay.

00:25:35.000 Are lesbians, ugly lesbians. 1.00

00:25:38.000 And some lesbians are like, I'm a fucking bitch, and I'm just going to do it. 1.00

00:25:42.000 And they move to the gay village, and they've got tons of girlfriends, and they just love it.

00:25:45.000 And they're fine with it.

00:25:47.000 Yeah, I don't like kids, and I got four cats, and I'm a fucking dyke, and I want to slit Trump's throat.

00:25:52.000 And I just ate out a 20-year-old last night.

00:25:56.000 You're doing it.

00:25:57.000 You got it.

00:25:58.000 You're under control.

00:25:59.000 A lot of them just go, like, they're Christian or whatever.

00:26:01.000 And they just go, what's happened to me?

00:26:04.000 Whoa.

00:26:04.000 Look at our state as a border.

00:26:07.000 We work as a team.

00:26:08.000 Well, I know, I know, I know.

00:26:09.000 I know, I know, I know.

00:26:10.000 He's like, I don't want to hold still.

00:26:13.000 All those hairs, you see them coming out now?

00:26:14.000 Oh, look at that.

00:26:15.000 All that is supposed to be sitting outside right there.

00:26:18.000 There are some dogs that have this their entire life that become gays. 1.00

00:26:23.000 I never thought of that.

00:26:24.000 Gay men, too.

00:26:26.000 They're not that into their sexuality, and so they just say, I want to love, and I don't want to love a dude and gives my mother nightmares.

00:26:32.000 So they just love these animals.

00:26:35.000 And it's much healthier than killing yourself.

00:26:40.000 Has she got makeup on her neck tattoo?

00:26:42.000 Or is she getting her neck tattoo removed? 1.00

00:26:44.000 But the truth of the matter is, it's irresponsible breeding.

00:26:46.000 Because I don't have a break.

00:26:48.000 Yeah, and they have all these rules about breeding, and it's this is irresponsible, and it should be a rescue.

00:26:54.000 Like, that's all just misdirected maternal instincts.

00:26:57.000 There's a lesbian right there, clearly. 1.00

00:27:00.000 So that's good, right?

00:27:02.000 We've got these people who are having mental issues with their bizarre sexuality, and they have a place to funnel it all.

00:27:07.000 And then, what the fuck's he crying about now?

00:27:10.000 A schnauzer?

00:27:15.000 It's a dog.

00:27:16.000 Yes, it loves you.

00:27:17.000 We took a wolf, and we spent thousands of years breeding it into thing, something that only cares about you and eating.

00:27:24.000 That's all.

00:27:25.000 Thanks, men.

00:27:26.000 Thanks, men.

00:27:28.000 It's a fucking robot.

00:27:29.000 Dogs are robots.

00:27:30.000 They're genetic mutants.

00:27:33.000 That's why wolves eat them. 1.00

00:27:34.000 Because they go, uh-oh, I better call the herd.

00:27:37.000 We've got some sort of bizarre inbred freak who's growing hair into his eyeball.

00:27:41.000 But there's a fourth category, whatever we're at right now, where I support zoos.

00:27:47.000 Autistic men. 0.54

00:27:49.000 These men, they can't correspond with human beings.

00:27:54.000 They can't look other men in the eyes.

00:27:55.000 They don't know what to do with their lives.

00:27:57.000 They commit suicide.

00:27:58.000 They're lonely.

00:27:59.000 They're not going to have a relationship with women. 1.00

00:28:01.000 It's Animal Planet the Zoo is the show.

00:28:03.000 Yeah, I got it.

00:28:04.000 Yeah, you got it.

00:28:04.000 I'm trying to see.

00:28:05.000 Like, I was watching this dude dealing with geckos last night, and he knows everything there is to know about geckos. 1.00

00:28:12.000 And his clothes are kind of washed weird, and the collar is kind of down the way that an autistic person would wear his polo. 0.98

00:28:19.000 And I'm just realizing, thank God, we have geckos for this guy, so he can feel like he's doing something.

00:28:25.000 And they spend hours helping it breed and doing all this dumb shit.

00:28:30.000 Jose doesn't count.

00:28:31.000 He's not in any category.

00:28:32.000 He's just cheap labor.

00:28:34.000 People here in the Bronx are all invested in all these animals here and getting them here.

00:28:39.000 Yeah, I don't think he has mental problems.

00:28:40.000 He's probably making 300 grand a year.

00:28:42.000 He's a hustler.

00:28:43.000 But animals are garbage, right?

00:28:48.000 Don't hurt them, but they don't mean anything.

00:28:50.000 They're just really plants that walk around and have eyeballs.

00:28:54.000 And I thank God, literally, that we have this venue where these poor autistic boys and men can sit there. 1.00

00:29:04.000 Maybe look up Gecko, Gecko Lizard, pregnant. 1.00

00:29:08.000 And you go, thank God, these lonely women, these young spinsters, these lost lesbians, these twisted gays, and these lonely autistic men who can't function have a place. 1.00

00:29:24.000 He doesn't.

00:29:25.000 Is he autistic?

00:29:26.000 They're usually not that big.

00:29:32.000 Eye contact.

00:29:38.000 Wow.

00:29:38.000 Do you think he likes Lord of the Rings?

00:29:42.000 He's just a fat nerd who never gets laid.

00:29:44.000 But he needs love too.

00:29:47.000 I'm going to love my lizards.

00:29:49.000 He had like one girl that he loved in high school, and she thought they were just friends.

00:29:53.000 And then she started asking him for advice about guys.

00:29:55.000 Oh, no.

00:29:56.000 And he went, uh-oh, I'm in the friend zone.

00:29:58.000 I always have been.

00:29:59.000 So he'd just lie in bed at night and masturbate thinking about her crying.

00:30:02.000 30% chance he's one of the guys.

00:30:04.000 She's a smoke. 1.00

00:30:05.000 She's like a 12.

00:30:06.000 Oh, she's, of course.

00:30:07.000 That's why she just assumed that we were just friends.

00:30:10.000 No, but a 12, like, in love with him.

00:30:12.000 You ever see those?

00:30:13.000 What?

00:30:14.000 Yeah, there's like 12% of fat guys have like a bombshell girlfriend. 0.98

00:30:19.000 Yeah, they're called billionaires.

00:30:22.000 This is why he's so good at holding the lizard because he spent his entire adolescence jerking the chicken.

00:30:28.000 His hand just wraps around those things perfectly.

00:30:30.000 Look, that's a beat-off professional.

00:30:33.000 Just to?

00:30:34.000 Sad that he's doing it near a girl.

00:30:36.000 I wish you could find this gecko guy, though.

00:30:38.000 I thought that was there.

00:30:39.000 No, no, no.

00:30:40.000 He's not clearly autistic.

00:30:42.000 So, by all accounts, this is all good news.

00:30:46.000 So I want zoos because they're like, the animals there are slaves to the mentally ill. 1.00

00:30:52.000 It's still a prison for animals, but I don't give a fuck about animals.

00:30:56.000 So, by the way, this is a cute shirt that just, if you don't want to overstate it, that's a good one.

00:31:04.000 Sorry, this is such a nipple-heavy show there, folks. 0.97

00:31:08.000 This also is a fantastic shirt.

00:31:10.000 Clown World.

00:31:11.000 I like these.

00:31:12.000 I don't like shirts to be overtly political, like, Trump rocks, Trump, Trump 2020, MAGA, MAGA, four more years, bitches. 1.00

00:31:20.000 This is just like, can you believe this shit?

00:31:25.000 All right.

00:31:27.000 We packed a lot of silly ephemera into this episode.

00:31:32.000 It's almost like dumpster diving.

00:31:37.000 We got books and songs and news blips and t-shirts.

00:31:42.000 But there is a few important things I want to talk to, like Quebec City having re-education camps, a bit of Antifa porn, and this Dijon Kazelle case that's causing riots in LA.

00:32:01.000 They never ask what the guy did or what his past was.

00:32:04.000 Oh, he deserved to die just because he raped a kid.

00:32:07.000 Well, yes, but I know where you're going.

00:32:11.000 And the quest, the answer is the odds are he was fucking with the cops and not just simply walking down the street minding his own business.

00:32:18.000 But you don't get that because you don't pay.

00:32:21.000 So goodbye, freebies, freeloaders.

00:32:26.000 And all you people who pay, stick around.

00:32:29.000 We're going to do another Half hour of chit-chatting, then we're going to take calls and do doodles.

00:32:33.000 Oh, we should mention the doodles.

00:32:34.000 The auction four, action five is up.

00:32:38.000 And I'm really excited about this particular auction because, uh, wait, that's the old one.

00:32:44.000 We got to update it.

00:32:45.000 Got to update it.

00:32:46.000 So it'll be updated on the site, ASAP.

00:32:50.000 But it has about a 10 or so of John Kinsman's drawings he did in prison.

00:32:56.000 He's up there by the border at Bear Hill Correctional Facility.

00:32:59.000 And I don't care where you stand on the political spectrum, where you are in this clown world.

00:33:05.000 I think one piece of your art collection has to include, I can send it to you, Ryan.

00:33:12.000 Has to include prison art.

00:33:14.000 Like even if you hate the Proud Boys, you have something on your wall and they go, what's that?

00:33:20.000 And you go, oh shit, that's like this Proud Boy who got thrown in prison for fighting Antifa.

00:33:26.000 And he did this in prison.

00:33:30.000 What, really?

00:33:31.000 And it's Proud Boys Crossing the Delaware?

00:33:33.000 Like, you can hate the Proud Boys.

00:33:35.000 I think you should.

00:33:37.000 But it's still, I think, a really interesting piece to have.

00:33:40.000 So some of it is pretty crude, and some of it seems specifically made for the club, the Proud Boys.

00:33:46.000 But I think you should go on there and buy it because it's a fascinating little moment in time.

00:33:53.000 Okay, I emailed it to you.

00:33:55.000 But how do people look this up?

00:33:57.000 Doodles for Justice 5.

00:33:59.000 So maybe go to Charity Auctions today and go Doodles for Justice 5.

00:34:04.000 Right?

00:34:05.000 Yeah, in the top thing right there, auctions slash Doodles for Justice 5.

00:34:09.000 I tried to search it, but it will be on the bar, on the search bar.

00:34:13.000 So on the left side of the screen, you'll see it in the tip.

00:34:17.000 You go to censor.tv and look for it there, or go to Charity Auctions Today and put in the search Doodles for Justice 5, and that should come up.

00:34:27.000 And look at these pictures.

00:34:28.000 Go down.

00:34:29.000 There's that one.

00:34:32.000 But look at that one.

00:34:33.000 Prison Art PB Delaware.

00:34:37.000 Can you zoom that up?

00:34:38.000 He's only got pencil crayons in there.

00:34:40.000 Although he did make an acetate stencil.

00:34:41.000 I don't know how he did that.

00:34:44.000 Now, that's just like, I feel like a historian should have that.

00:34:51.000 You know what?

00:34:51.000 This should be in a time capsule.

00:34:53.000 And then people go, what was this about?

00:34:55.000 Oh, this was 2020 when there was a huge conflict between patriotic right-wingers and fucking non-par lefties.

00:35:03.000 All right, that's enough.

00:35:08.000 Get fired.

00:35:10.000 Get in trouble.

00:35:12.000 Be brave.

00:35:13.000 And never stop fighting.

00:35:15.000 We'll see you next week, Freeloaders.

00:35:17.000 So you're not supposed to get set up.

00:35:20.000 As it turns out, it wasn't set up.

00:35:23.000 So I take responsibility for falling for a setup.

00:35:26.000 I don't wear a mask when I'm washing my hair.

00:35:29.000 Do you wear a mask when you're washing your hair?

00:35:32.000 I've been there many, many times.

00:35:34.000 I always have a mask.

00:35:35.000 Since we passed the bill, I always have a mask.

00:35:39.000 I don't wear a mask when I wash my hair.

00:35:42.000 Do you wear a mask when you wash your hair?

00:35:45.000 Motherfucker, yeah.

00:35:47.000 So much for the cursing. 0.92

00:35:49.000 There's never cursing.

00:35:51.000 I shouldn't have done that.

00:35:52.000 I'm sorry.

00:35:52.000 Still trying to find that gecko kid.

00:35:54.000 It is hard to not curse. 0.99

00:35:57.000 Well, it's when you have kids, you can't curse.

00:36:00.000 Yeah.

00:36:00.000 And then they get to be like 13 and you start going, can I relax it a bit?

00:36:03.000 And you start going, fucking these assholes.

00:36:05.000 And you see them sort of go, and you realize, oh, this is the first time, this is the first time you've heard me swear.

00:36:11.000 Yeah.

00:36:11.000 I told you about this, right?

00:36:12.000 Can you see that little thing on my glasses?

00:36:16.000 Have I shown the folks at home how awesome it is?

00:36:20.000 I don't know if you've done the actual demo.

00:36:22.000 Let's do it, shall we?

00:36:23.000 We could hear it.

00:36:24.000 Where'd I put my glasses?

00:36:26.000 Oh, no, I can't find them.

00:36:34.000 Nice.

00:36:35.000 Can you change the ringtone on there?

00:36:37.000 Yes.

00:36:38.000 Nice.

00:36:40.000 I don't know why you would bother doing such a thing.

00:36:42.000 That doesn't really sound like a you type of tone.

00:36:44.000 Oh, maybe I should have kind of a cool one that's like, hey, I'm over here, fuckface. 0.87

00:36:49.000 Like highway to hell or something.

00:36:51.000 Or let's do this.

00:36:53.000 Oh no, my keys, I know they're somewhere here.

00:36:56.000 First of all, it tells you on your app where in the city they are.

00:37:00.000 So then say you get to the address, like the studio or the fag zone, and then you go, oh, it can find my phone. 0.96

00:37:07.000 But no, I don't want to find my phone.

00:37:08.000 I want to find my keys.

00:37:13.000 That's loud.

00:37:16.000 I got him.

00:37:17.000 I could find my phone with it.

00:37:18.000 Can you find your phone with it?

00:37:21.000 Yes.

00:37:24.000 Yes, I can.

00:37:25.000 Okay.

00:37:26.000 Do you know why I can do that?

00:37:27.000 Why?

00:37:29.000 I'll tell you why.

00:37:31.000 Because I'm a toad.

00:37:34.000 Not bad.

00:37:35.000 And as a drunk who's constantly losing his shit, you're just like, I already did the joke before about how I needed to change my life when I lost the 50th thing and then I did by buying this shit.

00:37:47.000 But as a drunk, you're walking around and, you know, as a loser, you're always thinking, oh, fuck, great.

00:37:53.000 I'm going to probably lose these.

00:37:55.000 I'm going to lose my wallet.

00:37:56.000 I'm going to lose my keys.

00:37:57.000 That's going to be a pain in the ass.

00:37:59.000 But once you know you have the security, it's like having a gun.

00:38:01.000 It's like having a concealed carry.

00:38:03.000 So now I walk around.

00:38:04.000 I'm like, I ain't losing shit, bitch. 1.00

00:38:06.000 I might take these off.

00:38:08.000 Kind of cocky about it.

00:38:09.000 Yeah.

00:38:10.000 Mm-hmm.

00:38:14.000 Does it have a thing when you go too far away from it, it tells you.

00:38:17.000 It says, hey.

00:38:18.000 Yeah, I took that off.

00:38:19.000 No, no, that's...

00:38:20.000 Oh, man.

00:38:20.000 Because sometimes it'll do it when they're on my head.

00:38:22.000 I know, but it's like, that's not too far, guys.

00:38:25.000 See if you could customize the distance because that's the best feature.

00:38:28.000 Because let's say if you leave it in the Uber and that shit's just going, like, you'll know then.

00:38:32.000 Like, that's a real good emergency little feature.

00:38:35.000 All right, let's get through some news items.

00:38:39.000 Tomorrow, I want to go through a bunch of...

00:38:42.000 It seems that these people are finally getting arrested.

00:38:45.000 So I want to go through a bunch of women saying, fuck you, bitch. 1.00

00:38:48.000 What the fuck are you going to do, loser?

00:38:51.000 And then getting fucking trashed.

00:38:53.000 Look at 1.3.

00:38:56.000 And I'm going to send you another one I just thought of.

00:38:59.000 Because it's been 100 days of Fuck you, bitch. 1.00

00:39:04.000 So they've got that attitude.

00:39:06.000 Yeah.

00:39:07.000 They got that PMA.

00:39:09.000 Whose streets?

00:39:10.000 Our streets.

00:39:11.000 Whose jail cells?

00:39:12.000 Keep calling cops bitches. 1.00

00:39:14.000 Hey, bitch. 1.00

00:39:24.000 Fuck you.

00:39:24.000 Move your fucking hands.

00:39:25.000 Do not hit me.

00:39:28.000 Unbelievable.

00:39:29.000 She's shorter than you, if that's even possible without being a legal dwarf. 0.99

00:39:33.000 Of course it is.

00:39:34.000 No, that's not true.

00:39:35.000 Go ahead.

00:39:35.000 She's fat and frumpy.

00:39:37.000 I mean, there's probably like, as far as adult males go, there's probably about 130 in the world she can beat up that aren't in wheelchairs.

00:39:45.000 And she's like, don't fucking push me, bitch. 1.00

00:39:48.000 To a guy who, sorry, but cops fight for a living.

00:39:52.000 Cops are in a fight a day, no matter what.

00:39:56.000 So even the shittiest fighter cop, the fattest pig, he's really good.

00:40:02.000 Fuck you.

00:40:03.000 Move your fucking hand.

00:40:05.000 Don't touch me.

00:40:06.000 Do not hit me.

00:40:07.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:40:08.000 You're really fucking pushing it, you piece of shit.

00:40:12.000 Wow.

00:40:13.000 She spat on them. 1.00

00:40:15.000 It's not smart.

00:40:17.000 Yo, yo, down the streets.

00:40:18.000 Go on the sidewalk.

00:40:19.000 Watch that little cops. 1.00

00:40:21.000 You know, you talk to cops about them getting hurt and them getting put in headlocks and them getting punched and stuff.

00:40:28.000 And they go, for the most part, the judges just say, well, that's the job.

00:40:31.000 You know, you've got to get rough.

00:40:34.000 But they go, spitting, spitting is different.

00:40:38.000 People, everyone gets mad.

00:40:39.000 Every judge gets mad at spitting.

00:40:40.000 It's the one time we're allowed to bring someone in.

00:40:44.000 So listen to the woman filming. 1.00

00:40:50.000 Time to go.

00:40:52.000 Time to go.

00:40:53.000 There's a black woman in the street right now, and you guys, that's not okay. 1.00

00:40:58.000 There's a black woman in the street right now, and that is not okay. 1.00

00:41:03.000 They're arresting her for spitting on you. 1.00

00:41:06.000 Tatiana, fuck. 0.92

00:41:08.000 Remember when you were like 14?

00:41:09.000 What if someone said I dare you spit on a cop? 0.83

00:41:11.000 You'd go, what?

00:41:12.000 No.

00:41:13.000 Do you hate me?

00:41:14.000 Why would you tell me?

00:41:15.000 How could that possibly turn out in anything but jail?

00:41:20.000 Fuck, pussy. 1.00

00:41:21.000 All right, pussy. 1.00

00:41:23.000 Tatiana, you're arresting me!

00:41:25.000 Don't fucking touch!

00:41:27.000 We're woofing my mouth and everything!

00:41:29.000 Don't! 0.57

00:41:30.000 No, I'm in both!

00:41:32.000 Don't touch her! 1.00

00:41:35.000 Fuck, you're violating me!

00:41:38.000 That's a David Cross sketch from Mr. Show.

00:41:41.000 Y'all are brutalizing me.

00:41:46.000 No.

00:41:46.000 Okay.

00:41:48.000 This has all the drama.

00:41:50.000 This fight.

00:41:51.000 This has all the drama of remember Casino where Joe Pesci's brother's getting buried alive in front of...

00:41:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:57.000 Beaten alive.

00:41:57.000 Like you said, let's do this.

00:42:02.000 Get a female police officer now. 1.00

00:42:04.000 I am demanding you get a female police officer to help her. 1.00

00:42:06.000 These are SNL characters.

00:42:09.000 It's like Romy and Michelle's riot.

00:42:11.000 I don't know that one.

00:42:14.000 You don't know Romy and Michelle?

00:42:15.000 No, I'm assuming those officers.

00:42:16.000 Really?

00:42:19.000 Look it up.

00:42:20.000 Lick it up, I said.

00:42:22.000 Ew.

00:42:23.000 Lick it up.

00:42:24.000 You know the song Lick It Up, bitches? 1.00

00:42:25.000 That one I know.

00:42:27.000 Do you know the album Animalize when they took their makeup off?

00:42:30.000 And they had songs like this.

00:42:31.000 Burn, bitch, burn. 1.00

00:42:35.000 Not that.

00:42:35.000 I want to put my log in your fireplace.

00:42:38.000 Ooh, yeah.

00:42:40.000 It sucks.

00:42:42.000 I was so lucky getting mono.

00:42:44.000 That was like the best diet ever.

00:42:46.000 Meet Romy and Michelle.

00:42:48.000 Remember that time I barked some really bad Mexican food?

00:42:51.000 So gross.

00:42:51.000 I hate growing up in public.

00:42:53.000 Me too.

00:42:54.000 They walk the walk.

00:42:56.000 This underwear is 12.

00:42:59.000 They talk the talk.

00:43:00.000 Romi, did you lose weight?

00:43:02.000 All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corn.

00:43:06.000 God, I wish I had your discipline.

00:43:08.000 But at their high school reunion, I've never heard of it.

00:43:12.000 It's pretty good.

00:43:12.000 That's Garofilo.

00:43:13.000 It's pretty funny.

00:43:15.000 There's Garofilo.

00:43:17.000 Don't fucking touch her.

00:43:19.000 You haven't.

00:43:20.000 It's like, if that was stand-up comedy, it would be hack.

00:43:24.000 You're making fun of fucking drunk chicks. 1.00

00:43:26.000 That's not.

00:43:26.000 Come on, dude.

00:43:27.000 Try some wit.

00:43:30.000 So check out what I just emailed you.

00:43:31.000 It's the exact same thing.

00:43:33.000 But dudes.

00:43:36.000 Maybe the riots are good, just like zoos for the mentally ill. 1.00

00:43:40.000 It's a good place for the mentally ill to let off steam. 0.88

00:43:44.000 Give them one of the Baltimore mayor says.

00:43:47.000 Give them space to riot.

00:43:51.000 This one is a nice simple one.

00:43:56.000 If you're not into like super graphic stuff, this is just your shirt.

00:44:01.000 This is a show I watch.

00:44:02.000 I love white tees too, so.

00:44:04.000 I love whiteys. 1.00

00:44:06.000 Okay.

00:44:07.000 Okay.

00:44:10.000 Okay, you fucking pussies. 0.99

00:44:13.000 Pussies. 1.00

00:44:14.000 Go home, pussies. 1.00

00:44:15.000 You're so fucking scared of us.

00:44:18.000 Stop, stop, stop.

00:44:21.000 Okay, so the antifatwats in New York are pretty annoying. 1.00

00:44:24.000 They're rich kids, overeducated.

00:44:26.000 They talk about Marx and anarcho-socialist communes and that kind of stuff.

00:44:31.000 The antifa cunts in LA are even worse because they're totally uneducated, spoiled brats who speak any bonics, do art, and have absolutely nothing to offer the world. 1.00

00:44:45.000 They are all great arguments for abortion. 1.00

00:44:48.000 Planned Parenthood should have them on their posters.

00:44:52.000 The mascots.

00:44:53.000 But you got to hear the beginning, the way this guy explains it to the pigs.

00:44:58.000 So you have to go back a little bit.

00:44:59.000 Y'all are going to back the fuck up.

00:45:00.000 We're going back.

00:45:04.000 All right, so hey, here's the situation.

00:45:06.000 Y'all gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:08.000 We gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:09.000 See?

00:45:10.000 Pause.

00:45:11.000 Did you hear that?

00:45:12.000 Okay, y'all, here's the situation.

00:45:14.000 Y'all gonna back the fuck up, and then we all gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:18.000 You missed the best part.

00:45:19.000 See?

00:45:20.000 Cool?

00:45:21.000 Show it again.

00:45:22.000 We may just watch this for the next half hour.

00:45:24.000 That's cringy.

00:45:25.000 Alright, so hey, here's the situation.

00:45:27.000 Y'all's gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:29.000 We gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:30.000 We gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:31.000 See?

00:45:32.000 No?

00:45:33.000 Y'all's gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:34.000 We gonna back the fuck up.

00:45:36.000 See?

00:45:37.000 See?

00:45:38.000 No?

00:45:40.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:45:42.000 Stupid bitches. 1.00

00:45:44.000 You think he told people about that?

00:45:45.000 Like, so in this one time, I told them.

00:45:47.000 No, I think you're close, but I think what's going on here is he said to himself, I'm a leader, and I could be the next sort of Malcolm X of this particular movement.

00:45:56.000 And I'll be on posters and I'll be on the news, just like Miss Juneteenth was trying to do, or the guy with the van with graffiti on the side and the little blonde tips. 0.95

00:46:05.000 So this guy's decided, I'm just going to show them through meritocracy that I'm meant to be the leader.

00:46:11.000 And I'm just going to take control of the situation, tell the cops this is how it's going to go.

00:46:15.000 And I'm going to give them an out.

00:46:16.000 And then if they don't take it, I'm going to say, shut the fuck up, bitches. 1.00

00:46:19.000 Because you'll see in a second that he thinks he's different from the group and the captain wants to go down with his ship.

00:46:25.000 Spoiler alert.

00:46:30.000 Whoa, shit.

00:46:32.000 Look.

00:46:34.000 He's still standing there.

00:46:42.000 Did he sure fly there?

00:46:45.000 He took like 100 paintballs.

00:46:51.000 He actually thought...

00:46:53.000 So first he does, y'all gonna back fuck up.

00:46:56.000 Then we gonna back fuck up, bitch. 1.00

00:46:58.000 You see?

00:46:59.000 And then after they started shooting, everyone ran.

00:47:02.000 But he sits there going, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow it down.

00:47:07.000 You know what might have happened?

00:47:10.000 Maybe some of them take pills.

00:47:11.000 Like Xanax.

00:47:12.000 You know how pills are big with the kids?

00:47:14.000 Oxy and all that?

00:47:14.000 Sure.

00:47:15.000 Maybe they take pills because they're nervous to straighten their nerves.

00:47:17.000 And then it, oh my God, dude.

00:47:19.000 Epiphany of the century.

00:47:20.000 Not bad.

00:47:21.000 We're watching kids on opioids.

00:47:24.000 We're watching kids on Xanax.

00:47:26.000 That's why they have this confidence.

00:47:27.000 Like, what, bitch? 1.00

00:47:28.000 You know the band Gorilla Biscuits?

00:47:31.000 They, their name Gorilla Biscuits, don't look them up.

00:47:35.000 Comes from these, they would do qualudes or something, and it made you feel so tough, you'd get in the, you were like a gorilla.

00:47:42.000 So the biscuits were the pills, and you'd be like a gorilla, and you could fight anyone.

00:47:47.000 So they talked about, they called them gorilla biscuits, so they made you tough and you could fight guys. 0.90

00:47:51.000 Damn.

00:47:52.000 There was another New York band that had a song running around.

00:47:57.000 Robin Banks all whacked out on Scooby Snacks.

00:48:00.000 Scooby Snacks was another name for them.

00:48:01.000 And they just, they were these lewds that would just make you like, hey, man, what the fuck you looking at? 1.00

00:48:08.000 You're a bitch, you know that? 1.00

00:48:09.000 Fucking.

00:48:10.000 I'm the world heavyweight.

00:48:11.000 Not to me, motherfucker.

00:48:13.000 You're a loser.

00:48:17.000 Is there some karmic chi love thing happening to baby at work?

00:48:21.000 Fun-loving criminals.

00:48:26.000 Same demographic.

00:48:27.000 But one's rap and one's hardcore.

00:48:30.000 And yeah, we're watching kids running around rioting on Scooby snacks.

00:48:36.000 That's why that guy was getting blasted just like the jackass dudes who got blasted on Kwailudes or whatever they were on Xanax.

00:48:44.000 They got shot with riot pellets for a jackass movie.

00:48:47.000 That's why he's sitting there going, whoa, whoa, dude.

00:48:50.000 Because it doesn't hurt that much.

00:48:52.000 They're pre-painkilled.

00:48:53.000 Yeah, it still hurts, but it's more like wasp bites than what it really is.

00:49:00.000 Which is more like being stabbed.

00:49:08.000 Again, fuck these assholes for making me enjoy seeing blacks and blacks, seeing cops mess with free speech. 0.97

00:49:19.000 They're ruining it for us.

00:49:22.000 Yeah, I'm not supposed to enjoy that.

00:49:24.000 No.

00:49:25.000 I'm the free speech guy.

00:49:26.000 I want people to be able to protest.

00:49:28.000 And I don't like smiling when young people are blasted with little pellets.

00:49:33.000 But you guys have been such dicks, such gorilla biscuits, that I'm sorry. 1.00

00:49:39.000 I smile when I see you getting fucked with.

00:49:42.000 We're being demoralized.

00:49:43.000 This is who we're talking about.

00:49:44.000 Oink, oink, you monsters. 1.00

00:49:46.000 And maybe, you know what?

00:49:47.000 Maybe she was drunk.

00:49:48.000 That's why she was crying.

00:49:50.000 This girl, of course, was crying.

00:49:51.000 It's another t-shirt of ours, obviously.

00:49:54.000 She was crying because the subway said they were going to up the number of officers.

00:49:58.000 And that would lead to more turnstile jumpers getting busted.

00:50:01.000 And that would lead to more blacks in jail. 0.98

00:50:04.000 Don't jump the turnstiles.

00:50:05.000 Should be fine.

00:50:06.000 COVID hit right after this.

00:50:09.000 And there she is.

00:50:10.000 And we ended up with nobody on the subways.

00:50:13.000 And guess what?

00:50:14.000 The subways were covered literally in shit.

00:50:18.000 Rape was rampant.

00:50:19.000 It was a disgusting shithole.

00:50:22.000 So she got her wish.

00:50:23.000 The oink oinks didn't show up. 1.00

00:50:25.000 And we saw what her utopia is like.

00:50:28.000 And it stinks.

00:50:30.000 This is a crazy black fight I saw, by the way.

00:50:35.000 1-4.

00:50:36.000 This goes back to that woman I showed you crying at the Jouverte, which is a Haitian, whatever, West Indian parade party where girls go to meet guys to get laid. 0.79

00:50:48.000 And guys go to shoot someone from a rival gang.

00:50:51.000 And this dumb bitch bought her kid. 1.00

00:50:52.000 And I'm the only person.

00:50:54.000 I promise you, I'm the only person that's going to say, why was a kid there at 4 a.m.?

00:50:58.000 Now here we are at the Shake Shack in New York City, not far from the studio, actually.

00:51:04.000 And not only is this bitch picking fights when she has her kid with her, but the guy at the Shake Shack is happy to oblige. 1.00

00:51:14.000 Oh my God, bro.

00:51:15.000 Oh, yo, chill.

00:51:16.000 Daniel, bro, chill.

00:51:17.000 Oh, my God, bro.

00:51:19.000 Dude, chill.

00:51:20.000 Daniel.

00:51:24.000 Wait, go back.

00:51:25.000 Did you see that Wakanda jump?

00:51:29.000 Look at this.

00:51:31.000 This, this, coming up.

00:51:33.000 Over in slow motion.

00:51:36.000 That was like DC Comics.

00:51:39.000 I thought the Black Panther dude died.

00:51:44.000 He reads way too many comic books.

00:51:46.000 Look at that.

00:51:47.000 Woo! 0.99

00:51:49.000 Jumping off a ledge.

00:51:51.000 Got some major air there, bro.

00:51:53.000 Yeah, I mean, he is African in that he's fighting a hippo.

00:51:56.000 What do I do right now?

00:51:58.000 Those are...

00:51:58.000 Look at her.

00:52:00.000 Oh, my God.

00:52:01.000 He's like one.

00:52:04.000 Maybe she ordered a whamburger and cries. 1.00

00:52:09.000 Look at that.

00:52:10.000 Mommy, Can we go home?

00:52:12.000 Yet again, it's very late, isn't it?

00:52:13.000 My cave instincts are telling me this is a bad situation.

00:52:21.000 That was crazy.

00:52:23.000 You're foul as fuck for videotaping that shit.

00:52:25.000 What?

00:52:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:52:27.000 That's foul?

00:52:29.000 Of course I've been.

00:52:30.000 Let me see your phone.

00:52:31.000 Yeah.

00:52:32.000 Yeah.

00:52:32.000 Also, that's a white, a mulatto who grew up with her white mom, and she's the most adamant about black rights.

00:52:39.000 She's like, you foul as fuck for filming that. 1.00

00:52:41.000 You can tell by your accent that she went to nice schools.

00:52:46.000 But I'm fucking with it.

00:52:49.000 That was cool.

00:52:50.000 You're foul as fuck for videotaping that shit.

00:52:53.000 Wow, yeah.

00:52:54.000 You're foul as fuck for videotaping that shit.

00:52:57.000 I'm going to tell everyone at Brown.

00:53:00.000 So, yeah, we haven't touched on this yet, but there's big riots in LA because of a math tutor who is learning the clarinet named Dijon Kizel.

00:53:12.000 Dijon?

00:53:14.000 Dijon is...

00:53:16.000 This is 160.

00:53:17.000 Dijon is a place in France that makes mustard and the mustard is named after it.

00:53:22.000 It has no other meaning.

00:53:24.000 So they named their kid mustard.

00:53:28.000 It's a fancy mustard, but mustard is not a very fancy thing.

00:53:32.000 This is like when my kid was young and we were living in Brooklyn and one of her friends was named Alizay.

00:53:38.000 And I'm like, that's not even that expensive of a drink.

00:53:40.000 No, it's not.

00:53:41.000 It's like a fancy, shitty drink.

00:53:45.000 Like Stella Artois is a fancy beer, but beer is shitty.

00:53:50.000 So Dijon.

00:53:53.000 It is the finest of mustards, don't get me wrong.

00:53:55.000 Is this it?

00:53:55.000 But it's still mustard.

00:53:57.000 Yeah.

00:53:58.000 So this kid, this annoying white kid, is walking down the highway. 0.82

00:54:02.000 They block the highway because if there's one thing that's responsible for racism and police brutality, it's cars and people going to work.

00:54:10.000 That's who we have to wake up.

00:54:13.000 This is how the system gets to work.

00:54:15.000 It's not a great way to raise support for your cause.

00:54:19.000 Huh?

00:54:20.000 What y'all protesting for?

00:54:22.000 You don't think on camera?

00:54:23.000 Huh?

00:54:24.000 Hey, this guy asked, what are you protesting for?

00:54:27.000 We're protesting for Dijon Kissy, who was shot by LA Sheriff's Department on Monday.

00:54:31.000 He didn't have a gun?

00:54:33.000 Maybe he had a gun.

00:54:35.000 He had no gun when he was shot.

00:54:36.000 He dropped his possessions.

00:54:37.000 He's laying on the ground.

00:54:40.000 He was running from the cops.

00:54:54.000 I said, I'm 30 years old.

00:54:55.000 I'm a black man.

00:54:56.000 I don't put myself in positions to be shot by the police.

00:54:59.000 Because I don't carry guns.

00:55:00.000 I don't gangbang.

00:55:01.000 I don't do drugs.

00:55:02.000 I don't do things like that to put myself in a position.

00:55:06.000 We were protesting, but we're not speaking against the actions that are getting us killed.

00:55:10.000 And we need to be protesting against ill actions, against wrongdoings.

00:55:15.000 We need to humble ourselves and come correct and live in a society in peace in order for peace to be given unto us.

00:55:22.000 He dropped the gun, and that's why he got shot.

00:55:25.000 His actions caused the repercussions.

00:55:28.000 Personally, I think like just having a gun like in California, like it can be a misdemeanor, it can be a felony, but it's not necessary.

00:55:37.000 I don't think he deserves death.

00:55:39.000 That's all.

00:55:39.000 It's illegal.

00:55:40.000 But still, he didn't deserve death.

00:55:41.000 I think he should be responsible for his own choices, but I don't know if he deserved this or not because I wasn't there and I didn't really see what happens.

00:55:48.000 But I do want to tell everybody to do what's right, to live in society and don't do things that are illegal.

00:55:54.000 Because I think we can stop doing this show now.

00:55:58.000 Yeah, that's just about it.

00:56:00.000 We're done.

00:56:00.000 It's like my dad when he's drunk and he'll play Blue by You by Linda Ronstadt.

00:56:05.000 And he'll go, we're done.

00:56:09.000 We're finished.

00:56:10.000 Music is complete.

00:56:13.000 Why?

00:56:14.000 Why would anyone?

00:56:16.000 Why would anyone write another song?

00:56:20.000 Perfection has been achieved.

00:56:23.000 And the mission boats with their sails afloat on blue by you.

00:56:31.000 Since I live my baby.

00:56:34.000 He'll say like when it really starts and he likes it, he'll sound like he's going to kick your ass.

00:56:38.000 Like, oh, fuck.

00:56:41.000 Like he left the oven on?

00:56:42.000 Fucking perfect.

00:56:44.000 Listen to that, you cocksucker. 1.00

00:56:48.000 I'll fucking kill you, so I will.

00:56:53.000 Saving dimes.

00:56:54.000 Saving dimes.

00:56:56.000 Nickels and dimes.

00:56:58.000 That's why he loves it so much, because it says saving nickels, saving dimes.

00:57:02.000 See, that's a good message.

00:57:04.000 Penny pension.

00:57:06.000 She's good with money, by the way. 1.00

00:57:10.000 Then he starts getting like sensual, like he's on heroin.

00:57:12.000 And he starts rubbing his clothes and stuff and like making love to himself.

00:57:23.000 That's a good look.

00:57:24.000 Takes his shoes off and stuff.

00:57:26.000 I'm blew by you.

00:57:30.000 Oh, for fuck's sakes, man.

00:57:34.000 Listen to that.

00:57:35.000 Sails afloat.

00:57:37.000 If I could only...

00:57:40.000 Like, you want to hear him massacring this song?

00:57:44.000 Sunrise!

00:57:46.000 I know, I have the entire song memorized because I heard it a hundred times as a kid.

00:57:51.000 100 times.

00:57:51.000 A thousand times.

00:57:53.000 See that song, Gavin.

00:57:56.000 Why continue?

00:57:58.000 And then the shit hit the fan when he saw why to continue when Annie Lennox came out.

00:58:05.000 What's the song with?

00:58:06.000 Here comes the rain again.

00:58:07.000 Here comes the rain again.

00:58:10.000 Fucking falling on my head like a memory.

00:58:15.000 Ugh, you see that?

00:58:16.000 Nah that.

00:58:17.000 I thought Linda Ronstadt was a peak.

00:58:20.000 Fucking Annie Lennox. 1.00

00:58:22.000 Oh my god.

00:58:23.000 This is a mind-blowing gym.

00:58:26.000 Oh, you and my dad should get together.

00:58:28.000 The song sucks.

00:58:29.000 It's me.

00:58:30.000 No.

00:58:31.000 The blue by you is boring.

00:58:33.000 It's for old ladies. 1.00

00:58:36.000 I like old ladies. 1.00

00:58:37.000 Oh, that weird plucky sound.

00:58:39.000 What?

00:58:39.000 That's that?

00:58:40.000 A violin, by the way.

00:58:42.000 Yeah.

00:58:42.000 Fucking absolute head.

00:58:44.000 Is it raining, really?

00:58:46.000 Here comes the rain again.

00:58:50.000 Here comes the rain.

00:58:52.000 Ugh.

00:58:54.000 Let's sit down.

00:58:56.000 It's filmed in fucking Strathclyde, by the way.

00:59:00.000 Ugh.

00:59:01.000 Oh, she's charged.

00:59:03.000 Oh, okay.

00:59:04.000 How about the other lady that we listened to? 1.00

00:59:07.000 She's from a place called America.

00:59:08.000 Okay.

00:59:10.000 Oh, that's right.

00:59:11.000 Yes.

00:59:12.000 And then he goes, right, we'll keep that set.

00:59:15.000 And then it was probably 1993 whenever this song was big and we went to his cottage, which is, you can't walk there.

00:59:23.000 You have to take a boat or in the winter you walk over the frozen lake.

00:59:27.000 In those interim periods, it's up to you, dude.

00:59:32.000 You're probably going to die.

00:59:33.000 And it's just a cabin with no heat.

00:59:36.000 It does have heat.

00:59:37.000 It has no water, has an outhouse, and a well.

00:59:40.000 Actually, it's the neighbor's well.

00:59:42.000 That's how fucking cheap he is.

00:59:44.000 I could build his cabin in if I had three guys helping me six days.

00:59:50.000 It's not a joke.

00:59:53.000 So we're up there and I bring a ghetto blaster that takes batteries because I don't want to use up his one outlet.

01:00:00.000 And when I say him, I mean him and my mom.

01:00:02.000 And I go, you know how you said music was over after Annie Lights?

01:00:07.000 I knew this one was going to fucking roast his ass.

01:00:10.000 And I just pressed play on the CD player and it was Oasis, Champagne Supernova.

01:00:16.000 He likes that.

01:00:17.000 And when he goes, where were you?

01:00:19.000 And then he was just like, oh, for fuck's sake.

01:00:22.000 And then he's just sitting there with like his sweatpants on, no shoes or socks, no shirt, his weird, like skinny, muscular body and tight chest.

01:00:34.000 And he's just like standing on the deck looking out at the lake and just screaming at the top of his lungs, where were you when we were getting out?

01:00:44.000 And now I can't hear this song without hearing it fucking drunk Leswegian. 0.75

01:00:47.000 He also had a comb over that would like come uncombed.

01:00:50.000 So it would just be like this thing like that.

01:00:52.000 And he's like, where were you when we were getting out?

01:00:58.000 How many special people change?

01:01:01.000 How many lives are living strange?

01:01:04.000 Where were you while we were?

01:01:06.000 Love it, my boy.

01:01:08.000 That is fucking classic.

01:01:13.000 Wait, was he just being serious about playing a kid's toy?

01:01:16.000 That's a mellotron.

01:01:20.000 Where were you when we were getting high?

01:01:22.000 From melodica, excuse me.

01:01:25.000 Alright, that's enough of that.

01:01:26.000 It's turning into Ryan's mailbag here.

01:01:30.000 People like music.

01:01:32.000 So, go back to that black guy who just sort of ended the entire network. 1.00

01:01:37.000 Like, we should just go censor.tv and you just come to this.

01:01:40.000 And you know what I love about this?

01:01:42.000 Diatribe?

01:01:44.000 This is my Linda Ronstadt, my Annie Lennox, and my champagne supernova, this guy.

01:01:48.000 You know what I love about him is he lured the fucking stupid kid in with his dumb athletic glasses.

01:01:56.000 He lured him in by said, what's your protest about?

01:01:59.000 Pretending he has no idea.

01:02:01.000 And then he goes, oh, well, did he have a gun?

01:02:05.000 Oh, he did.

01:02:06.000 Oh.

01:02:06.000 And was he running from the, oh, so he's doing something illegal.

01:02:09.000 You don't say.

01:02:11.000 You know, he probably would have been okay if he wasn't doing anything illegal, don't you think?

01:02:15.000 And that corners your enemy into an awkward situation where they go, well, you don't deserve to die for that.

01:02:23.000 Asshole shit for brains.

01:02:25.000 No one on earth is saying you have to die because you have an illegal weapon.

01:02:31.000 And the sentence is the electric chair.

01:02:34.000 Sorry, sir.

01:02:35.000 That's what we decided as a society.

01:02:37.000 We have laws on the books for illegal guns.

01:02:39.000 We have laws on the books for all this.

01:02:40.000 Yeah, but you shot him instead of taking him to court.

01:02:42.000 No, that's not why they shot him.

01:02:45.000 They didn't shoot him because they went, that's illegal gun boy. 0.90

01:02:48.000 They shot him because they don't want to die.

01:02:50.000 And we as a society don't want them to die.

01:02:52.000 So when you're chasing a perp, you're going, why the fuck is he running?

01:02:56.000 This was a normal traffic stop.

01:02:58.000 He had a fake driver's license plate.

01:03:00.000 This is very, it's not, there's like a $50 fine.

01:03:04.000 Worst case scenario.

01:03:05.000 I wasn't even going to give him the fine.

01:03:07.000 So this is scary.

01:03:08.000 He's running.

01:03:09.000 Something big is going on.

01:03:10.000 Either he has a warrant for something bigger or he has a gun.

01:03:13.000 Please don't have a gun.

01:03:14.000 Please don't have a gun.

01:03:15.000 I just, I got a two-week old at home.

01:03:17.000 I really don't want to die.

01:03:18.000 Then he starts fumbling.

01:03:19.000 Then he falls.

01:03:19.000 Then he drops his jacket.

01:03:21.000 A gun comes out.

01:03:22.000 That's my worst.

01:03:23.000 That's the thing I was the most scared of.

01:03:24.000 Fuck.

01:03:25.000 And then he's fumbling on.

01:03:26.000 His hands near the gun.

01:03:26.000 Oh, for fuck's sake.

01:03:29.000 That's how it went down.

01:03:31.000 This idea that you fucking gorilla biscuits, kids, are so fucking high and you're going on Netflix benders and you're watching TV when some dirty hairy type, the modern equivalent is like, I don't like you, punk. 1.00

01:03:48.000 That's what you get for having an illegal gun.

01:03:50.000 That's not even remotely how any of this shit works.

01:03:52.000 These guys are fucking...

01:03:55.000 Like you see videos.

01:03:56.000 There's this video I saw of the guy with a knife.

01:03:59.000 Did we show this on the show?

01:04:01.000 Wait a minute.

01:04:01.000 Go back to that black guy in case he has a little more to say.

01:04:04.000 He's got a little more.

01:04:05.000 Okay.

01:04:11.000 To live in society and don't do things that are illegal.

01:04:15.000 Because when you're doing things that are illegal, you're putting yourself in a situation where things can come to you, either jail or death.

01:04:22.000 That's what usually happens when you do things that are illegal.

01:04:25.000 Okay, jail or death.

01:04:26.000 Thank you very much.

01:04:27.000 Have a great week.

01:04:27.000 Welcome.

01:04:28.000 Yeah, speed zoom.

01:04:30.000 There's two types of blacks left in America. 0.99

01:04:31.000 The fuck it.

01:04:32.000 I'm going to die anyway.

01:04:33.000 I'm going to go out in a blaze of glory stealing shit and being an asshole.

01:04:36.000 And no, I'm going to never stop fighting.

01:04:40.000 And I'm going to keep trying to make my name, keep trying to make a name for myself, keep trying to make money, keep trying to get employed, keep working on my family.

01:04:48.000 I'm not going to do illegal shit.

01:04:49.000 I trust the system to a certain extent.

01:04:52.000 I'm obviously going to be there if something, you know, ridiculous happens, but I'm ready and willing to do this project we call America.

01:05:00.000 Let's roll up our sleeves.

01:05:05.000 Okay, see if you can dig up this video.

01:05:07.000 A cop shoots a guy like 20 times.

01:05:09.000 He has a knife.

01:05:10.000 He's outside.

01:05:12.000 He grabs another cop.

01:05:14.000 Did we cover this on the show?

01:05:15.000 This is why they shoot to kill or something.

01:05:19.000 I remember that.

01:05:20.000 Yeah, that's.

01:05:20.000 I kept seeing it.

01:05:21.000 Why are we watching this in our leisure?

01:05:23.000 Why wouldn't you just click videos?

01:05:26.000 Dude, if you look at it in the internet, you're just going to get articles.

01:05:30.000 The whole internet.

01:05:32.000 They're outside.

01:05:33.000 Man with a knife shot multiple times.

01:05:35.000 Yep.

01:05:36.000 Grabs another cop.

01:05:38.000 I know exactly the one.

01:05:40.000 He gets shot a bunch, falls down, and then gets back up.

01:05:43.000 Yes.

01:05:43.000 And the reason I want to pull this up is because as he's shooting, the guy isn't like, well, well, well, fucking Negro thinks he can come at me with a naff.

01:05:53.000 Well, you got another thing coming because I'm in a movie and I'm watching it on Quelludes.

01:05:58.000 I did a quarter of a Xanax bar.

01:06:00.000 That's it.

01:06:01.000 You found it.

01:06:03.000 No, they're going, oh, fuck, stop, stop, get back, come back, come back.

01:06:06.000 No, don't do it.

01:06:07.000 Don't do it.

01:06:07.000 Stand back.

01:06:08.000 Stop, stop, stop.

01:06:09.000 Fuck.

01:06:10.000 Like when they shot Amadou Diallo, the cops were crying after.

01:06:14.000 They were bawling their eyes out when they saw he didn't have a gun.

01:06:17.000 You made me kill a person.

01:06:19.000 I've never seen that reporting in anywhere but Bill McGowan's book, Coloring the News.

01:06:26.000 Just tase him. 0.94

01:06:28.000 Can't you just shoot him in the knee?

01:06:30.000 That's what they always say.

01:06:31.000 They always say that.

01:06:32.000 Just tase him or just like shoot him with a pepper spray ball.

01:06:35.000 These are fucking bullets.

01:06:37.000 Okay?

01:06:38.000 Bullets where if you went like this, you would die.

01:06:42.000 Listen to him.

01:06:46.000 Turn it on.

01:06:51.000 Wait, wait, pause.

01:06:52.000 Yeah, this is way into it.

01:06:57.000 Is this where it starts?

01:06:58.000 Okay, here's where it starts.

01:06:59.000 Okay.

01:07:02.000 Oh, they're cutting out all the...

01:07:04.000 They're cutting out a lot.

01:07:05.000 But did you hear that?

01:07:05.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:07:07.000 Yeah.

01:07:08.000 And then he shoots him like four times.

01:07:10.000 He gets down, then he gets up again.

01:07:13.000 He shot him four times in the chest.

01:07:16.000 And I had a cop explain this to me.

01:07:18.000 He said, if you're not getting it here, he shows where the heart is.

01:07:22.000 Here or here.

01:07:24.000 Oh, this is the whole thing?

01:07:25.000 Knife down.

01:07:26.000 If you're not getting it here or here, you've got another four minutes in you before you bleed out.

01:07:32.000 Like, lungs, they can take a few holes. 0.55

01:07:35.000 Kidney, uh-oh.

01:07:36.000 Liver, oh, well, I'm not cleaning my blood as well as I used to.

01:07:41.000 We can help you out, man.

01:07:43.000 We can help you.

01:07:44.000 We can help you out.

01:07:44.000 Look at these assholes hunting criminals for sport.

01:07:48.000 No, no, no, no.

01:07:50.000 No!

01:07:51.000 Oh, damn.

01:07:52.000 That's terrible.

01:07:53.000 No!

01:07:54.000 No!

01:07:54.000 Please don't, sir!

01:07:56.000 Please don't!

01:07:58.000 No!

01:08:01.000 Well, it's definitely crime is what's going on here.

01:08:04.000 Put the knife down! 1.00

01:08:06.000 So fucked up.

01:08:10.000 Put the knife down, sir, please!

01:08:13.000 Please, sir!

01:08:14.000 Please, please.

01:08:15.000 We can help you!

01:08:17.000 We can help you!

01:08:18.000 Put the knife down! 1.00

01:08:20.000 Why don't they give these guys any warnings before they shoot them?

01:08:23.000 Don't do this!

01:08:24.000 They just shoot them for last season.

01:08:27.000 Put the knife down! 1.00

01:08:30.000 This is where the video usually starts.

01:08:32.000 Online.

01:08:32.000 Yeah, I hadn't seen it go this long either.

01:08:38.000 Put the knife down.

01:08:39.000 I'm kind of you can see his beard.

01:08:41.000 I guess it's on his shoulder.

01:08:44.000 It's a beard cam.

01:08:47.000 Can cops have beards?

01:08:48.000 I think so.

01:08:49.000 It depends.

01:08:50.000 Every precinct, I think, is different.

01:08:51.000 I think state troopers cannot.

01:08:53.000 Or they could only have a mustache or something.

01:08:55.000 I'm not a fan of state troopers, to be frank.

01:08:56.000 Ooh, ouch.

01:08:58.000 By the way, you know that black dude who was trying to pick a fight with us the other night?

01:09:02.000 And he probably deals Coke.

01:09:04.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:09:05.000 It wasn't.

01:09:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:07.000 It was the whole bar, basically.

01:09:08.000 The guy who said, he yells at Ryan, he goes, it's a regular bar we go near the studio.

01:09:13.000 And he goes, he got kicked out for choking out the bartender.

01:09:19.000 And he said, I'm going to come back in my burner and kill you all.

01:09:22.000 Wow, this guy's got really big balls.

01:09:24.000 And we were with an undercover cop, not undercover.

01:09:26.000 He was a cop not wearing his cop stuff.

01:09:29.000 And he goes, I got a burner in my car too, if you want to play that game.

01:09:32.000 He just mumbled that later.

01:09:33.000 That was Willie.

01:09:36.000 Did I tell you about Danny McAloon?

01:09:39.000 No.

01:09:40.000 Who Danny McAloon?

01:09:42.000 Willie McAloon was the cop who was with us the first night that black dude was going nuts, right? 1.00

01:09:47.000 I'm boxing the other day, and this old Puerto Rican guy comes up to me, or not, he comes near me and he goes, check this out.

01:09:53.000 We got fucking Danny McAloon back from the grave hitting the bags.

01:09:58.000 And I ran to the phone.

01:09:59.000 I'm like, dude, someone just called me your dad.

01:10:01.000 Oh, wow.

01:10:02.000 Look him up.

01:10:05.000 And I said, I talked to the guy for a long time because I'm good friends with Willie.

01:10:08.000 And he told me about his dad, but I never knew much about him.

01:10:11.000 And he goes, he goes, so you knew Danny McAloon?

01:10:15.000 That's him now.

01:10:17.000 He's dead now.

01:10:18.000 But there's pictures of him in his boxing days.

01:10:20.000 Oh, yeah, the one next to it.

01:10:21.000 Blow that up.

01:10:22.000 This one?

01:10:22.000 Yeah.

01:10:26.000 That's me.

01:10:28.000 A little bit.

01:10:30.000 I guess because boxers really have mustaches.

01:10:33.000 And he goes, oh, my God, we used to.

01:10:34.000 I go, so you fought him?

01:10:36.000 He goes, yeah, it was my spawn partner.

01:10:38.000 And I go, what was that like?

01:10:39.000 He goes, oh, we used to fucking kick the shit out of each other.

01:10:43.000 He was one of the greats.

01:10:45.000 And I go, why wasn't he like he was successful, but you never really saw much about him, you know, in the news and stuff.

01:10:51.000 And he goes, because he was a fucking drunk.

01:10:53.000 He drank too much.

01:10:55.000 He ruined his career with that fucking shit.

01:10:58.000 And I'm like, tell me about it.

01:11:00.000 I avoid beer at all times.

01:11:02.000 Gug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

01:11:07.000 Old Macaloon.

01:11:09.000 Even when God sends me a warning by making me lose shit, I just spend money to make sure I can find it.

01:11:16.000 Anyway, sorry.

01:11:17.000 Stupid tangent.

01:11:19.000 No, man, no.

01:11:21.000 Hey, less lethal.

01:11:24.000 Quick the knife out, please.

01:11:26.000 No, no.

01:11:26.000 Please, he's begging him.

01:11:29.000 I think They stopped this one too, but he gets full of bullets.

01:11:33.000 About five, right?

01:11:34.000 Yeah, I remember being five.

01:11:37.000 Look, he's bleeding all over the place.

01:11:39.000 And you can tell he's got a yellow shirt on, and you can see even in the blur that the bottom half of the shirt's just red.

01:11:44.000 Yeah.

01:11:46.000 Tase him! 1.00

01:11:46.000 Why do they shoot guys? 1.00

01:11:47.000 Tase him, just tase them. 0.98

01:11:50.000 So he's trying to kill a cop.

01:11:57.000 Oh, no.

01:11:58.000 Fighting with the cop.

01:12:00.000 His cam comes up.

01:12:03.000 Meanwhile, this cop is worried, not about his life, just about his life, but the other guy's life and his pension.

01:12:08.000 Everything's on the line here.

01:12:09.000 So he has to film shit and get his camera back on.

01:12:14.000 The other one goes...

01:12:16.000 So in the other one I saw, he gets up, he grabs.

01:12:18.000 Oh, that's the guy.

01:12:20.000 I've seen it from the other perspective.

01:12:21.000 Right.

01:12:22.000 This dude grabs the cop we just saw.

01:12:24.000 He has him and he has his knife.

01:12:26.000 Also, even if he had dropped the knife, the guy's going to reach down for your gun.

01:12:30.000 It's right there.

01:12:32.000 And you pull out the cop's gun, or you grab the cop's gun, and you shoot him in the head.

01:12:38.000 No, that's the same guy.

01:12:40.000 Or is it?

01:12:42.000 No, there it is.

01:12:43.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:12:44.000 So then he gets that.

01:12:45.000 That's the cop we just saw.

01:12:47.000 And you don't know what's going on.

01:12:48.000 He's still got the knife, right?

01:12:49.000 He could be cutting his throat right there.

01:12:52.000 So, oh, shit, they cut it.

01:12:54.000 So the cop, that cop you just, that scene you just saw at the end, he gets a good shot and he shoots the guy in the head.

01:13:01.000 And then the other cop is just lying exhausted and you're watching it going, did you just kill your fucking partner?

01:13:06.000 I know.

01:13:07.000 Because that, I think, happened in New York recently with that Orthodox Jew, the kosher deli. 1.00

01:13:13.000 What the fuck is this?

01:13:14.000 A junkie?

01:13:14.000 This is a man saves six people in two hours OD resuscitation.

01:13:19.000 Pretty heavy.

01:13:22.000 I just clicked it out of interest.

01:13:24.000 You know, all of this is just normal American behavior, but the way the media is spinning racist America and horrible America and we're not making America great again.

01:13:32.000 It's never been great and it's at all-time worst.

01:13:34.000 This is all just eradicated by the media.

01:13:36.000 We're living in the Soviet Union, and the media is showing as a horrible, shitty America that is not happening.

01:13:44.000 Let's finish this mustard, mustard gazelle.

01:13:52.000 What, Dijon?

01:13:53.000 This is my son, Heinz, the top ketchup in the country right now.

01:13:57.000 This is Gray, Poupon.

01:14:00.000 He went to, he's going to start his own university called Poupon You.

01:14:07.000 Go to 1.7.

01:14:12.000 He was trying to find his way.

01:14:17.000 Wait, you have a sub, don't you?

01:14:19.000 Yeah, no, I just have to.

01:14:21.000 No, this is Los Angeles Times.

01:14:22.000 I don't have that.

01:14:22.000 I'm going to take the shields down.

01:14:24.000 Yeah, he was just trying to find his way.

01:14:27.000 The other one they use for that is aspiring rapper.

01:14:31.000 I was just going through a brief criminal phase.

01:14:34.000 I'm doing research for my career.

01:14:36.000 For my rap career.

01:14:37.000 I want to actually eventually get into law enforcement, and I was learning the other side.

01:14:42.000 Right.

01:14:43.000 Find his way.

01:14:44.000 Aren't we all trying to find our way?

01:14:46.000 LA Times?

01:14:51.000 Okay, so that brings us to, yeah, that's enough of that.

01:14:53.000 Okay, I think we can stop chatting now and start taking kiz-alls. 0.98

01:14:58.000 Although, my problem with the call episodes is we don't see our funny final video.

01:15:03.000 Let's look at our final videos now.

01:15:05.000 Oh, good idea.

01:15:06.000 So my buddy Huey just, or as they pronounce it in Scotland, Shug, just sent me this masterpiece.

01:15:15.000 Is it?

01:15:15.000 Yeah.

01:15:53.000 No.

01:16:08.000 Tanquilo, thank you.

01:16:16.000 That was pretty good.

01:16:17.000 Is that real, you think?

01:16:18.000 Who knows?

01:16:20.000 Part of me think it's 50-50 for me.

01:16:22.000 Yeah.

01:16:24.000 It's a little bit perfect.

01:16:27.000 Perfecto.

01:16:29.000 Y was tropo perfecto.

01:16:31.000 I just, whenever I want to speak Spanish, I just speak French and then add an O at the end.

01:16:36.000 This was, I want to know where this is.

01:16:39.000 Can someone help me?

01:16:40.000 Because the beach is abandoned, but it's not a lake if it's got waves like that.

01:16:45.000 It's like New York, kind of.

01:16:48.000 Yeah.

01:16:49.000 Oh, never mind.

01:16:59.000 What about friction?

01:17:00.000 Is that a boogie board?

01:17:02.000 The sand is going to rip the skin off your knees.

01:17:07.000 That's the best thing I've ever seen.

01:17:09.000 That's so awesome.

01:17:11.000 Like, I would go there.

01:17:13.000 If we had a week off, I would just make that my week.

01:17:16.000 I'd get up early and do like 37 runs, work on my technique, start like waxing my boogie board.

01:17:26.000 What's this called?

01:17:27.000 It's like the best new sport in the world.

01:17:33.000 All right, let's start taking some calls, yo.

01:17:35.000 Tranquilo, tranquilo.

01:17:37.000 Tranquilo, man, tranquilo.

01:17:38.000 By the way, if that was true, and even if it wasn't, don't make your ex a mixed tape or the equivalent today, I guess, would be a playlist.

01:17:47.000 She and her new boyfriend listen to that and laugh at you.

01:17:51.000 It's over.

01:17:52.000 It's over.

01:17:53.000 It's over.

01:17:55.000 It's over.

01:17:59.000 Stop trying To get her back, and if you really want her back, shut your mouth and she'll be impressed.

01:18:03.000 You don't care, and you might see her at a party, she might go back with you.

01:18:06.000 You're never ever getting a girl back by going, I made you a mix. 1.00

01:18:10.000 It's got a lot of sad songs on it, including Never Talking to You Again by Hoosker Doo.

01:18:20.000 Okay, sorry.

01:18:23.000 I've got to punch in a little code here.

01:18:26.000 It's got blue by you on it.

01:18:28.000 That's my father's favorite song.

01:18:32.000 So last week, last week was an abomination.

01:18:36.000 I got a lot of hate mail, not just from subs, but from the people we work with and friends of mine, people that I convinced to subscribe to the show that were enjoying it until that day.

01:18:52.000 So a lot of shit.

01:18:54.000 Rye guy. 0.83

01:18:56.000 But the good news is that this happened a week ago.

01:19:00.000 And about 20 minutes before we went on, Ryan tested it to see if he had, to try to fix it.

01:19:07.000 Oh, yeah, you're talking about the calls.

01:19:09.000 Well, not only that, but another thing happened.

01:19:13.000 Somebody, you, you pose a bet.

01:19:15.000 You say, hey, I said this Indian phrase, if you put your arm in oil and dip it in sunflower seeds or sesame seeds?

01:19:24.000 I said sesame seeds.

01:19:25.000 I bet a guy 50 bucks that I said sesame seeds.

01:19:28.000 He claims I said sunflower seeds.

01:19:30.000 Okay, well, we're about to find out.

01:19:32.000 Oh, really?

01:19:34.000 With the bad gateway?

01:19:35.000 42 minutes in.

01:19:38.000 I never lose bets.

01:19:40.000 I'm always right.

01:19:41.000 I said sunflower seeds.

01:19:42.000 Same area that's been terrorizing them for centuries.

01:19:45.000 42 minutes.

01:19:46.000 For a change.

01:19:47.000 If you speak to a Sikh and he's not bitching about Muslims, he's full of shit. 1.00

01:19:51.000 There's a Sikh saying, actually, it's one of the least catchy sayings I've ever heard.

01:19:55.000 Maybe it sounds nicer in Punjabi, but it is. 0.97

01:19:58.000 Take your arm, dip it into oil all the way down, then cover it with sunflower seeds.

01:20:05.000 That is the many times, that's how many times a Muslim lies in one day. 1.00

01:20:11.000 I think you could be a little more succinct with your colloquialisms there.

01:20:14.000 You sure could be a little more succinct with your colloquialisms.

01:20:17.000 Or the colloquialisms of others, maybe.

01:20:21.000 Sesame, sunflower.

01:20:23.000 Same number of syllables.

01:20:24.000 No, there's no way to do that.

01:20:25.000 No, I'm saying the succinct joke doesn't work.

01:20:28.000 So I owe that guy 50 bucks.

01:20:30.000 He's on the line.

01:20:30.000 His name is Victor, and that's an appropriate name because he is the victor of this bet.

01:20:35.000 Vicki, are you on the line there?

01:20:36.000 Bubbola?

01:20:39.000 Victor, you there?

01:20:41.000 Bobushkin? 0.96

01:20:43.000 20, 30.

01:20:45.000 Do you have change for 100?

01:20:49.000 I don't know if he does.

01:20:50.000 All right, we're going to have him call back, but.

01:20:52.000 Well, good thing your phones don't work.

01:20:54.000 Sorry, dude.

01:20:56.000 I was going to double it, but Ryan does not work.

01:21:00.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:21:01.000 It's my bad.

01:21:02.000 Doesn't work.

01:21:04.000 So I can't pay you.

01:21:05.000 Oh, well.

01:21:06.000 Could have been a sweet little 50.

01:21:08.000 I would have paid for your drinks on a Friday night.

01:21:10.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:21:12.000 What were you doing wrong?

01:21:13.000 Shit for brains?

01:21:14.000 I had to put in a little code and you mentioned I would have put in the code.

01:21:18.000 Yeah, this should be it.

01:21:19.000 Let me listen to it.

01:21:20.000 Welcome, host.

01:21:21.000 Okay, we're in.

01:21:22.000 Manager caller.

01:21:24.000 Okay.

01:21:25.000 Okay.

01:21:25.000 Let's write down the strikes.

01:21:27.000 Okay.

01:21:28.000 Victor.

01:21:31.000 Hello.

01:21:32.000 Hello, Vicki.

01:21:37.000 How's it going, guys?

01:21:39.000 Good.

01:21:39.000 I owe you 50 bucks.

01:21:40.000 I said sunflower seeds, and it's not.

01:21:42.000 It's sesame seeds.

01:21:46.000 Yeah.

01:21:49.000 I'm not a chief steak like that, so I don't really need the 50 bucks, Mr. McKinnis.

01:21:53.000 No, a bet's a bet.

01:21:55.000 That's a bet.

01:21:55.000 Man's word is a man's word.

01:22:00.000 May I barter with you?

01:22:01.000 Can I trade you for something else so you don't have to give me your hard-earned cash?

01:22:07.000 What's your weird accent?

01:22:08.000 You were Iranian?

01:22:13.000 No, I'm not.

01:22:13.000 I'm just kind of nervous.

01:22:15.000 Oh, that's Iranian. 1.00

01:22:18.000 Okay, what do you want?

01:22:21.000 All right.

01:22:22.000 How about your sweet shirt with you and Ryan?

01:22:26.000 Like in the watercolors.

01:22:28.000 But like, you know, sign it and maybe do a doodle.

01:22:32.000 Is that fair?

01:22:32.000 Is that cool?

01:22:33.000 Yeah, that's a good deal for me.

01:22:35.000 Those are what, like 30 bucks.

01:22:37.000 I save, although shipping, it's probably about the same.

01:22:40.000 But okay, that's the deal.

01:22:42.000 Nice.

01:22:42.000 Thanks, dude.

01:22:43.000 You're right.

01:22:43.000 I'm wrong.

01:22:44.000 Awesome.

01:22:44.000 Thanks for calling.

01:22:45.000 All right.

01:22:47.000 I'll contact you after this.

01:22:48.000 I wanted to ask you.

01:22:48.000 Oh, you know, when you listen to Howard Stern and he says, oh, okay, thanks.

01:22:52.000 And it's a good little wrap-up like that.

01:22:53.000 Then they always say, just one more thing, one more thing, especially king of all blacks. 0.79

01:22:57.000 And the one more thing always sucks.

01:23:00.000 So it's like, one more thing, one more thing.

01:23:02.000 If Ryan grew tits and he needed a bra, would you pay for the bra or would you burn him with a lighter? 1.00

01:23:09.000 You're like, I don't know.

01:23:10.000 We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

01:23:12.000 Fuck it.

01:23:12.000 All right.

01:23:12.000 See you later there, Robin.

01:23:15.000 Are we giving away anything?

01:23:17.000 Okay.

01:23:18.000 We have James.

01:23:22.000 Hey, Gavin and Mayor of the Rad Zone.

01:23:25.000 How y'all doing?

01:23:25.000 Thank you.

01:23:26.000 Good.

01:23:26.000 How are you?

01:23:29.000 Oh, not bad.

01:23:31.000 Hey, Gavin, I had a quick question for you.

01:23:36.000 Sorry, there's a little reverb here.

01:23:38.000 I'm hearing myself.

01:23:39.000 Oh, you're hearing an echo.

01:23:40.000 What do you know?

01:23:42.000 Ryan fixed that.

01:23:44.000 He was working on it at 8.40 p.m. tonight after having seven days to work on it.

01:23:54.000 Why is your shit always fucked up, Brian?

01:23:56.000 Well, we did the test.

01:23:58.000 I'm going to close the other tabs because before I had to close my mail, because it's a bandwidth issue as well as a RAM issue.

01:24:05.000 And then also closing these.

01:24:07.000 I like how he tells you what he's doing to try to figure out what's going on.

01:24:09.000 I got a problem.

01:24:10.000 Just to let you know, there's things going on.

01:24:12.000 Okay.

01:24:12.000 Is there still an echo, sir?

01:24:16.000 Let me talk.

01:24:18.000 Hello.

01:24:19.000 No, there's not.

01:24:21.000 And by the way, sorry to interrupt you, but we've had people calling in and emailing and saying, oh, I know what it is.

01:24:27.000 You're hearing yourself through the speaker and it's looping around.

01:24:29.000 Our speaker's in another part of the studio.

01:24:31.000 It's very far away.

01:24:33.000 I can barely hear it.

01:24:34.000 And whenever I do a Skype interview with people, I do it without headphones.

01:24:38.000 I just use that speaker.

01:24:40.000 And there's never an echo.

01:24:43.000 So it's not the fucking speaker.

01:24:45.000 Please, experts, stop calling in and telling us what the shit is.

01:24:50.000 Okay, go ahead, caller.

01:24:53.000 Anyway, question.

01:24:55.000 Devin, I really think that you seem like an awesome father.

01:25:02.000 Really love your old episodes where you talk about fatherhood.

01:25:05.000 I go through the old episodes and re-listen sometimes.

01:25:10.000 How many kids you got?

01:25:13.000 I have two.

01:25:14.000 I'm 37.

01:25:15.000 I started late.

01:25:16.000 I have a three-year-old and a six-month-old.

01:25:19.000 My wife is 33.

01:25:21.000 Oh, dude, you've got at least two more.

01:25:27.000 That's what she's saying.

01:25:29.000 One to two more.

01:25:30.000 And I'm sitting there telling her, baby, I'm getting old here.

01:25:36.000 No.

01:25:37.000 You're good.

01:25:38.000 You know, I was talking to our tech guy today because my son built a computer.

01:25:42.000 He's 12.

01:25:43.000 And, of course, there's a million problems with it.

01:25:44.000 It's not like you put it all together and just turn it on.

01:25:47.000 So it's like rebuilding a car.

01:25:49.000 And we've been troubleshooting for weeks now.

01:25:52.000 We finally got it going tonight, thanks to our tech guy.

01:25:54.000 And as he's showing us stuff, I'm showing him all the error messages.

01:25:58.000 And he's like a tech genius.

01:26:00.000 So he's like, oh, you got to move this here and download that.

01:26:02.000 And while we're waiting for shit to download, I just want to flash it over to my two boys who are playing their Nintendo Switch, whatever.

01:26:09.000 Well, one's playing, one's watching.

01:26:10.000 And he goes, ah, shit.

01:26:12.000 I wish my kids are young again.

01:26:13.000 I just dropped my daughter off the first day of high school.

01:26:17.000 And, you know, people think that they don't want too many kids or, you know, it's overwhelming.

01:26:24.000 But believe me, when they get so old that they're, you know, independent adults, you just pine for the days that you had little kids.

01:26:31.000 So make as many little kids as you possibly can because they don't stay little kids for long.

01:26:39.000 That's what my wife says. 0.98

01:26:41.000 And I guess I scare myself with the mask because being 37 years old, I think to myself, if my youngest one gets married, even at, say, 23, that I'm going to be 60 years old, you know, at a wedding.

01:26:55.000 You could be dead.

01:26:56.000 Who cares?

01:26:58.000 You made him.

01:26:58.000 And think of all those wonderful 20 years you have.

01:27:05.000 I think you're right, sir.

01:27:06.000 And I really do appreciate your advice.

01:27:09.000 And I think I'm going to have to tell this to my wife.

01:27:13.000 And she'll be, you know, ultimately it's her decision.

01:27:16.000 I mean, she can.

01:27:17.000 No, dude, rape her. 1.00

01:27:19.000 Rape her. 0.97

01:27:20.000 Just go like, oh, shit.

01:27:22.000 Wait, did I, I guess I came.

01:27:25.000 And then when she goes, oh, my God, I'm pregnant again. 0.68

01:27:27.000 You go, oh, well, we'll figure it out.

01:27:31.000 Exactly.

01:27:32.000 Like, if you're 40 and you're talking about adopting and you got a bunch of kids, I can see the argument of like, maybe we shouldn't take this on.

01:27:40.000 But when they're your own kids, yeah, just churn them out, dude.

01:27:45.000 You're young.

01:27:45.000 And I promise you you will regret not having more kids.

01:27:50.000 I promise you.

01:27:52.000 You know what?

01:27:53.000 Get this.

01:27:53.000 I'm making a deal here.

01:27:54.000 And you know I'm good for my word.

01:27:55.000 I paid that previous caller 50 bucks.

01:27:57.000 If you have more kids and you regret it and you feel swamped and you can't afford them, I will take them and I will raise them as my own.

01:28:08.000 Here's how much I love my kids.

01:28:10.000 And, you know, pretty much every Wednesday I try to call in.

01:28:14.000 And typically we have kind of a system going here.

01:28:18.000 Wife's with the older son getting him to sleep. 0.58

01:28:21.000 And younger son's usually on my shoulder.

01:28:23.000 And I'm trying to get him not to scream as I'm speaking to you guys.

01:28:26.000 So my wife brings that up and she tells me exactly what you're basically saying there is that we will never regret having another one, but we may regret not having another one.

01:28:39.000 So no one's lying on their deathbed going, I wish I had less kids and I wish I worked more.

01:28:46.000 It's not a thing.

01:28:49.000 That's wonderful advice, sir.

01:28:51.000 All right, buddy.

01:28:51.000 Have a good one.

01:28:55.000 We got...

01:28:56.000 He's a nice man.

01:28:57.000 Yes, of course.

01:28:58.000 Daniel.

01:28:59.000 Oh, your English accent makes me fucking puke. 0.99

01:29:03.000 Daniel.

01:29:06.000 Oh, hello, penis breathes. 1.00

01:29:08.000 Hello.

01:29:12.000 Today, I will say, I think what Ryan did to close down, whatever he closed down, fixed the echo because it's not just an echo.

01:29:22.000 It repeats back to you everything that you say two seconds later.

01:29:27.000 Yeah, that's what an echo is, Richard.

01:29:32.000 What do you think an echo is?

01:29:35.000 But what I'm saying, whatever he closed down, fixed it because I was covering it.

01:29:40.000 Let's get back to your definition of an echo.

01:29:42.000 An echo is you say something and then you hear that same thing back to you immediately after.

01:29:49.000 Well, I guess it's the degree of the echo.

01:29:54.000 Yeah.

01:29:54.000 It's like, remember that episode?

01:29:56.000 We did the stutter thing.

01:29:58.000 Yeah, you're thinking of like a reverb or something like that.

01:30:01.000 It's not a reverb.

01:30:02.000 It's an echo.

01:30:03.000 Fine.

01:30:06.000 Fine.

01:30:06.000 You're right.

01:30:08.000 So now that you're educated, what's your question?

01:30:10.000 What do you got?

01:30:13.000 Oh, okay.

01:30:14.000 So, you know, I've got a lot of lefty liberal friends.

01:30:19.000 I'm an artist and musician.

01:30:22.000 What city?

01:30:25.000 Atlanta.

01:30:26.000 Okay, Hotlanta.

01:30:29.000 Yeah, it's Hotlanta, baby.

01:30:32.000 It's crazy.

01:30:35.000 Like, I've basically socially distanced myself from most of the people that I used to be friends with because they suck now.

01:30:44.000 But I still got a couple of good friends that we can actually have fun and joke around with.

01:30:48.000 So that's good.

01:30:50.000 But you know how they like to say that black people are targeted for weed and they're just throwing black people in jail because of the color of their skin and whatnot.

01:31:02.000 Yep.

01:31:05.000 And I got to thinking, living in Atlanta, this is the home of the black people.

01:31:11.000 I've been here for 14 years.

01:31:14.000 And I have a little bit that I kind of will sneak in and say, do you really think that they're targeting blacks because of the color of their skin?

01:31:25.000 Like, have you ever smoked weed with black people? 1.00

01:31:32.000 White people are scared to hit a one-hitter on a road trip with the windows rolled down. 1.00

01:31:37.000 Black people are smoking blunts on the way to the grocery store, hot boxes, you know? 1.00

01:31:42.000 Yeah.

01:31:43.000 Yeah.

01:31:43.000 And everybody, it's funny because they all laugh at it because we all have black friends, whatever we all smoke, and we have a friend like that, you know?

01:31:51.000 And it's just a little joke.

01:31:52.000 And it's like my little sprinkling of a red pill of reality, you know?

01:31:58.000 And it's kind of funny.

01:32:02.000 Just maybe a week or so ago, one of my buddies who's in a hip-hop group posted this picture.

01:32:11.000 And it's them smoking weed at this festival they were performing at.

01:32:15.000 And there's like cops on the railing, like looking at them.

01:32:21.000 And the caption is, we smoke where we want.

01:32:24.000 I sent it to the mailbag labeled black targeted by weed.

01:32:32.000 But I texted it to my friend.

01:32:34.000 I was like, this just is furthering my theory here.

01:32:37.000 Just like you, Gavin, I have a lot of theories that I like to go by.

01:32:40.000 And it's just funny to see them, you know, happen in real life.

01:32:47.000 Yeah, there's two other things, though, with this.

01:32:49.000 One, the data they always use is they say blacks smoke much less and do much less drugs than whites, yet they get arrested for it more.

01:32:58.000 And that data is true.

01:33:00.000 That's what the study shows.

01:33:01.000 But then they redid the data with human hair, and they realized the blacks being interviewed were lying.

01:33:07.000 And blacks actually do more drugs than whites. 1.00

01:33:10.000 They just lied about it more.

01:33:12.000 Secondly, I talked to a cop about this once, and he said, I don't know what it is, but when whites do drugs, they like smoke weed in their car in the parking lot, and then they close the door and run away, or they do Coke in the bathroom, and then they put it back in their pocket.

01:33:28.000 But blacks just not only seem to be more open about their drug use, but they seem to get in more trouble when they're high.

01:33:34.000 Like black, white people, the worst thing a white guy does when he's on Coke is talk your ear off, try to start a company with you. 0.78

01:33:41.000 Yeah.

01:33:41.000 Dude, we should do it Monday.

01:33:42.000 We should do it.

01:33:46.000 And, you know, okay, I've had black friends my whole life, you know, not like my best friends or whatever, but I hung out with black people in high school.

01:33:56.000 And, you know, it's like, it's racist now to recognize reality.

01:34:03.000 Like to notice reality.

01:34:04.000 My black friends in high school, I would go to their neighborhood and we would smoke blunts right out on the street.

01:34:10.000 I had subwoofers in my Honda Cord.

01:34:14.000 We'd pop the trunk and blast the music.

01:34:16.000 And I'm like, oh, you guys sure this is okay?

01:34:19.000 And they're like, hell yeah.

01:34:20.000 And we're just like, you know, hanging out, bumping music and smoking blunts.

01:34:26.000 And it was a lot of fun.

01:34:29.000 And, you know, it's a shame what all of this racist culture, whatever, that has been, that everyone's on these days has done because it's like fucks up relationships with black people and white people.

01:34:43.000 You know what my nickname was with my friends that I used to smoke blunts hanging around the car was?

01:34:49.000 What?

01:34:50.000 They called me nigga Dan.

01:34:53.000 I was nigga dan. 0.57

01:34:58.000 And it didn't matter, you know, and it just sucks how they try and force us to, you know, be on eggshells around each other.

01:35:09.000 You know, like my black friends, like my real black friends, we joke around about black people always being late and shit.

01:35:16.000 It's like, I'm not treating you differently because I see you as an equal, you know, and I'm going to bust your balls.

01:35:22.000 Yeah, that's the way it was.

01:35:23.000 It used to all be fun jokes.

01:35:25.000 That's the way it is at boxing gyms. 0.89

01:35:26.000 That's the way it is at skate parks.

01:35:28.000 That's the way it is where there's anything hard to do that takes precedence over bullshit like whatever we're told by the Huffington Post to think.

01:35:35.000 And the left has managed to create more dissension and more segregation and more animosity.

01:35:42.000 That's what they do for a living. 0.98

01:35:43.000 That's their job.

01:35:45.000 And it's a sad state of fairs.

01:35:46.000 Anyway, thanks for calling, dude.

01:35:47.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:35:51.000 Good point.

01:35:54.000 You were definitely less racist in the 80s.

01:35:58.000 We got Jennifer Tennis. 0.82

01:36:02.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:36:03.000 Hey, Rygai.

01:36:05.000 Hey.

01:36:07.000 Hi.

01:36:08.000 So I think what that earlier caller was trying to say is that there was an echo of an echo.

01:36:14.000 No, he's not saying that, my dear.

01:36:17.000 He thought that an echo was like, hi, hi.

01:36:19.000 What?

01:36:19.000 R-R-H-U.

01:36:21.000 But it was...

01:36:23.000 It was, hi, what are you doing?

01:36:25.000 And then 1-1,000, 2-1,000.

01:36:27.000 Hi, what are you doing?

01:36:29.000 But the latter is an echo.

01:36:31.000 The first one is another type of echo, but more of a reverb.

01:36:34.000 Like a slapback type of delay reverb.

01:36:38.000 Well, like from my phone, it was like, hello, hello, hello.

01:36:42.000 How about now?

01:36:44.000 It was, no, now it's fine.

01:36:46.000 Oh, okay.

01:36:47.000 Earlier.

01:36:47.000 But it was like the echo was repeating itself.

01:36:51.000 So you mean like a triple echo, but it wasn't doing that.

01:36:55.000 We tested it before, and every time I've heard the echo, it's you say a whole sentence, you wait three seconds, hear a whole sentence.

01:37:01.000 Anyway, what can I do you for?

01:37:03.000 Okay.

01:37:06.000 Well, before I start, Gavin, can I stroke your ego for a second?

01:37:09.000 Yeah, that's my favorite thing.

01:37:12.000 Yeah, I figured.

01:37:14.000 So I homeschool my kids, and for my 11th grader, well, whenever I listen to this podcast and also Inshapira, but mostly this one, if there's a word that you say that I don't know what it means, I write it down,

01:37:30.000 and then that's my daughter's vocabulary words for the week.

01:37:33.000 Oh, that's a good game.

01:37:35.000 You know, you should get Heather McDonald's The War on Cops because she is a very verbose woman, and I learn a new word every chapter. 1.00

01:37:46.000 Hey, I used verbose the other day.

01:37:50.000 You're not listening to me, though.

01:37:51.000 And my favorite is.

01:37:52.000 Are you going to get Heather McDonald's The War on Cops? 1.00

01:37:56.000 Yeah.

01:37:57.000 Okay, good.

01:37:58.000 Sorry.

01:38:00.000 Okay.

01:38:01.000 My favorite is Pulcritudeness.

01:38:02.000 Okay.

01:38:03.000 But I have a little gift for you.

01:38:04.000 What about Phantasmagorics?

01:38:06.000 That's a good one.

01:38:06.000 That's real?

01:38:11.000 Pulcratudeness is still my favorite.

01:38:13.000 Okay, so I have a gift for you guys.

01:38:15.000 I made you a little video.

01:38:18.000 I really hope you like it.

01:38:18.000 I just sent it to Mailbag.

01:38:20.000 And there's no time stamp to find this time.

01:38:24.000 So Russian won't be able to mess this one up. 1.00

01:38:28.000 How dare you.

01:38:32.000 Oh, and I put my picture in there just because you said you'd like to the name of Space, but I'm not asking you to write me again.

01:38:40.000 Just so we're clear, you guys already write me last before.

01:38:43.000 And what score did you get?

01:38:45.000 Anyway.

01:38:47.000 Pardon?

01:38:48.000 What score did you get?

01:38:49.000 Oh, what score?

01:38:51.000 Well, you cut Ryan off before he could get his because you said his ratings were stupid and everybody hates them.

01:39:00.000 But you gave me, I think, a 7.5 or maybe 7.4.

01:39:06.000 What did you think of that?

01:39:06.000 Was that fair?

01:39:07.000 I mean.

01:39:09.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:11.000 That was good?

01:39:12.000 I loved it.

01:39:14.000 Okay.

01:39:14.000 Yeah.

01:39:15.000 And we got the video here.

01:39:16.000 I mean, I'm not.

01:39:19.000 Okay.

01:39:20.000 Pretty woman.

01:39:21.000 Okay.

01:39:21.000 Thanks for calling.

01:39:22.000 Let's check out your vid.

01:39:24.000 Later.

01:39:25.000 Okay.

01:39:26.000 Okay, man.

01:39:31.000 I identify as a toad.

01:39:33.000 No.

01:39:34.000 And so what I do is I get up in the morning and I start jumping.

01:39:37.000 Wait, wait.

01:39:38.000 Stop the presses.

01:39:40.000 So there's the one he did on our show when I paid him a billion dollars to come by.

01:39:45.000 Then there's the one we did the other time where we went, there's no way he's going to say toad, and he did it, right?

01:39:49.000 That's separate to this.

01:39:50.000 Correct.

01:39:51.000 And now he's doing it again.

01:39:52.000 So here's the million-dollar question.

01:39:55.000 See, he texts me sometimes, but I can tell it's the same kind of text I get from Roger Stone, which is just, I have a movie coming out in September.

01:40:02.000 It's going to be very good.

01:40:04.000 He does have an anti-Trump movie coming out.

01:40:06.000 Should I anti-Trump movie?

01:40:08.000 I mean, sorry, pro-Trump movie.

01:40:12.000 Yeah, that would suck.

01:40:13.000 I feel like I'm a traitor.

01:40:15.000 I feel like I used to be a megatoad, and now I'm a Haydn-Biden toad.

01:40:22.000 No, he just texted me the other day.

01:40:24.000 But all of my texts from Dinesh and why isn't that showing up?

01:40:29.000 Oh, this new stupid phone.

01:40:30.000 Am I closer a little bit?

01:40:32.000 All these new...

01:40:34.000 Oh, here we go.

01:40:36.000 Toad.

01:40:37.000 All these celebrities that email me now, or a lot of them, like Stone and Dinesh, I can tell they just go, okay, I'm going to take a day and I'm going to text every journalist I know or promoter and I'll promote the show.

01:40:50.000 Because I'll always respond and be like, oh, that looks funny.

01:40:52.000 Hey, did you fart on a Friday?

01:40:54.000 And they're like, no response whatsoever.

01:40:56.000 So he's got a trailer out called Trump Card.

01:41:00.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:41:00.000 You've seen this advertised.

01:41:02.000 That's his new thing.

01:41:04.000 Anyway, the million-dollar question is, does he know about the doad?

01:41:10.000 That we've made it what it was?

01:41:12.000 Yeah.

01:41:13.000 I don't know.

01:41:13.000 I think it's one of his bits.

01:41:15.000 Like, just like Jordan Peterson's got the lobster.

01:41:17.000 He's got the...

01:41:18.000 Lobsters.

01:41:19.000 Doads. 1.00

01:41:21.000 You got to come up with like an animal one.

01:41:23.000 That'd be cool.

01:41:24.000 Yeah.

01:41:24.000 What's yours?

01:41:26.000 It's like we're living in a clown world, but it's full of bears.

01:41:30.000 That's Owen Benjamin.

01:41:31.000 Bears! 0.65

01:41:32.000 Lobsters! 0.95

01:41:33.000 Dods?

01:41:36.000 I kind of like the red eff'd as an animal, but that doesn't sound cool.

01:41:40.000 Yeah, it's tough.

01:41:42.000 And here on, it's going to take some work.

01:41:44.000 Yeah, well, we.

01:41:45.000 We're like, you know, we don't call ourselves conservatives or Republicans.

01:41:49.000 We're more like badgers.

01:41:52.000 And we're in there ferreting around, fighting, just trying to survive.

01:41:55.000 And people go, oh, you're violent.

01:41:57.000 You go, no, I'm not violent.

01:41:58.000 I'm just trying to get something to eat.

01:41:59.000 I'm Cagey.

01:42:00.000 You've cornered me.

01:42:00.000 I turned to Chris Rock.

01:42:01.000 A badger is like, I'm just trying to get something to eat.

01:42:05.000 I just want a bit of food.

01:42:07.000 How come every badger.

01:42:09.000 How come every badger has a platform?

01:42:12.000 A little bit of food.

01:42:16.000 How come I pop my head out of a hole?

01:42:19.000 How come I pop my head?

01:42:21.000 He sings like he's like in a jazz trio and they're just killing it.

01:42:25.000 And the guy's like, he's like, ha, we're kidding it.

01:42:28.000 Yeah.

01:42:29.000 That's like a post-nailing a scat segment sound.

01:42:34.000 I identify as a toad.

01:42:36.000 Wow.

01:42:37.000 So what I do is I get up in the morning and I start jumping around like a toad.

01:42:41.000 I'm getting a little bit of a drink.

01:42:42.000 This reminds me of the dude who's Pat Buchanan's top researcher.

01:42:46.000 What the fuck is his name?

01:42:47.000 Asian guy? 0.70

01:42:48.000 Oh, shit.

01:42:49.000 Remember him?

01:42:50.000 We had him on TGMS once.

01:42:53.000 And he's like, yeah, well, he's Korean.

01:42:57.000 And he's like, yeah, well, my problem was that I was drinking a lot of liquid back then.

01:43:02.000 And I was like, dude, you need to call it alcohol from now on.

01:43:07.000 Oh.

01:43:08.000 No.

01:43:09.000 No.

01:43:10.000 It's going to be tough.

01:43:12.000 What's his name?

01:43:13.000 He was on GOML, right?

01:43:14.000 It's got a Jewish name.

01:43:17.000 Anyway, it doesn't matter.

01:43:19.000 Let's do the next call.

01:43:20.000 We're not going to finish the toad?

01:43:22.000 Oh, well, we kind of got it, right?

01:43:23.000 No, there's like 30 more seconds.

01:43:25.000 Okay.

01:43:26.000 That there are all these haters out there who don't respect my identity as a toad.

01:43:34.000 Disney won't cast me in toad races in their movies.

01:43:37.000 Toad races?

01:43:39.000 I don't get...

01:43:40.000 I'm denied rights under the movie.

01:43:41.000 What's a toad race?

01:43:43.000 I don't know.

01:43:44.000 No one races toads.

01:43:45.000 My car won't get picked up by a toad truck.

01:43:48.000 I'm not invited to any of the story queen toad hours, the drag queen story kids, toads, toad stools.

01:43:57.000 Constitution.

01:43:59.000 All these People look down on me and make jokes when I come jumping by.

01:44:05.000 You're not actually a toad.

01:44:07.000 You are a member of Homo sapiens.

01:44:10.000 This purpose of your life that you have ascribed to yourself.

01:44:13.000 Wait, that stop, stop, stop.

01:44:15.000 That might be a great drop to have.

01:44:17.000 You are a member of Homo.

01:44:19.000 Oh, gotcha.

01:44:20.000 And just cut out sapiens.

01:44:22.000 You are a member of Homo.

01:44:29.000 We are children of fag.

01:44:32.000 We are one part retarded, but in some ways genius.

01:44:37.000 This purpose of your life that you have ascribed to yourself is based on some deep psychological disorders.

01:44:45.000 That's a good drop to it.

01:44:46.000 You have very poor self-perception of who you are as a human being.

01:44:50.000 I identify as a toad.

01:44:52.000 Nice.

01:44:52.000 Oh, God.

01:44:53.000 That was great, Jennifer.

01:44:56.000 Thank you, Jennifer.

01:44:57.000 He chose the one word he can't say right.

01:45:01.000 Doad.

01:45:03.000 Doad.

01:45:03.000 It's sort of like our liver puddling friend with his Ds, where he goes, oi, Gav, what are you going to do about?

01:45:09.000 And I'm like, Jesus, your Ds hurt me.

01:45:13.000 You need to walk around with a pop filter.

01:45:14.000 Your Ds have hurt me today.

01:45:17.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:21.000 All right, we're going to go to the Coles.

01:45:24.000 Wyatt.

01:45:27.000 Wyatt, you calling us?

01:45:28.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:45:29.000 Hey, dog.

01:45:30.000 What's up, dude?

01:45:34.000 Not much.

01:45:36.000 Sorry about the door.

01:45:37.000 It's okay.

01:45:38.000 Everybody's got doors.

01:45:40.000 So my question here is, you know, it's not really a question.

01:45:47.000 I just have been noticing everything is black now.

01:45:52.000 It's like we live in a predominantly black country.

01:45:56.000 Yeah.

01:45:56.000 Every single article I read, every movie I see, it's not a bad thing.

01:46:04.000 I'm not saying it's terrible, but, you know, it's getting a little ridiculous, to be honest.

01:46:10.000 Well, I'm kind of out of all this.

01:46:12.000 Hey, watch this.

01:46:13.000 Hold on a sec.

01:46:15.000 Hey, computer, what percentage of the population are redheads? 1.00

01:46:21.000 According to an Alexa Answers contributor, less than 2% of the world's population have red hair.

01:46:27.000 That's approximately 130 million people.

01:46:30.000 That's including China and shit. 0.60

01:46:32.000 Computer, what percentage of Americans have red hair?

01:46:38.000 According to an Alexa Answers contributor, red hair occurs in approximately 1 to 2% of the world's population.

01:46:45.000 Fuck off, you cunt.

01:46:47.000 Dumbass computer ass bitch. 1.00

01:46:51.000 Sorry, sir.

01:46:54.000 Computer stop.

01:46:55.000 Okay.

01:46:56.000 So it's like living in Ireland and everything on the news is about redheads. 0.73

01:47:01.000 And I've noticed this with you're driving into the city every day and that every billboard is like Montefiore or whatever, the hospital.

01:47:08.000 And it's always a surgeon who's black, a black woman. 1.00

01:47:12.000 And then every book or every article about a new Disney project is like a black girl who's a pirate or a black girl who's an astronaut. 0.64

01:47:20.000 And you're like, no one has a problem with a black girl being an astronaut, obviously.

01:47:24.000 But it's fucking relentless.

01:47:30.000 Don't you think?

01:47:31.000 Yeah, it's getting a little overwhelming, I feel like.

01:47:33.000 I mean, I don't know.

01:47:35.000 I mean, when are they going to ease up on it, you know?

01:47:39.000 Well, it becomes insulting.

01:47:41.000 The implication is that you have a problem with that and it's blowing your mind because you would never imagine a black female astronaut and it's saying, hey, think outside the box.

01:47:50.000 And you're like, yeah, yeah, okay, I'm outside the box.

01:47:52.000 But when you keep saying it to me every single day, you're saying that I'm incapable of imagining a young black girl, you know, doing something cool.

01:48:00.000 And that's insulting.

01:48:05.000 Well, I mean, exactly.

01:48:06.000 It's like when you bring up like, oh, well, I have a black man to explain everything for you, or explain everything to us.

01:48:12.000 So that means he's right about race because he's black. 0.98

01:48:16.000 Right.

01:48:17.000 Well, it's kind of like the hate has go home here thing where what they're really saying is hate has a home in your house.

01:48:24.000 Oh, exactly.

01:48:25.000 When's it going to stop?

01:48:29.000 I don't think it's ever going to stop.

01:48:31.000 I think it's going to turn into California nationwide, and then eventually we'll just kind of go tribalist, and then, you know, we'll kind of go our separate ways.

01:48:42.000 Well, in South Africa, they didn't go any separate ways.

01:48:46.000 They're in a civil war.

01:48:51.000 Well, I think if we create a civil war, I think like another country like, I don't know if China or something else will kind of come in and maybe do something because we'll be fractured, basically.

01:49:04.000 Half of our country won't want to defend themselves.

01:49:08.000 Well, it's funny.

01:49:08.000 I think if I was Chinese and I was trying to destroy this country, I would say, why don't we just stop?

01:49:16.000 Like, the coronavirus was pretty good, but look what they're doing to themselves.

01:49:21.000 Let's just take a step back and let them completely fuck themselves because they're retarded. 1.00

01:49:28.000 All right, thanks for calling, dude.

01:49:29.000 It is getting crazy, though.

01:49:31.000 Driving me nutsu.

01:49:34.000 All right.

01:49:34.000 We've got Torrance.

01:49:37.000 Torrance, how are you doing?

01:49:39.000 Hey, how's it going, guys?

01:49:40.000 Hey, guy.

01:49:41.000 Yeah, it's Carone.

01:49:42.000 It's actually...

01:49:43.000 Hey, how's it going?

01:49:44.000 Oh, hi.

01:49:45.000 I'm Kare.

01:49:49.000 You what?

01:49:50.000 I'm Kare.

01:49:52.000 Can't hear your Kier.

01:49:54.000 I'm Kare.

01:49:55.000 I'm saying I don't care.

01:49:56.000 Let's get started.

01:49:57.000 What do you got to say?

01:50:00.000 Oh, man.

01:50:01.000 I'm just calling from New Zealand.

01:50:03.000 I'm calling from Kare.

01:50:04.000 I've got a clip on YouTube a while ago.

01:50:07.000 I'm just calling you from Kier.

01:50:08.000 Excellent.

01:50:09.000 Your accent is way thicker on the phone.

01:50:12.000 When I'm watching it on TV, I can't really hear it, but here I can't really understand you that well.

01:50:17.000 But anyway, your political left in America is radicalizing our youth.

01:50:24.000 What's that?

01:50:25.000 Nothing.

01:50:25.000 I'm radicalizing your youth.

01:50:29.000 No, the political left in your country.

01:50:32.000 What's the lift?

01:50:33.000 There's a political left?

01:50:36.000 Yeah.

01:50:37.000 The left.

01:50:37.000 Like the left wing.

01:50:39.000 No, we got you.

01:50:40.000 We got you.

01:50:40.000 We're just teasing.

01:50:42.000 Yeah, I think they really are.

01:50:43.000 I think they're red pilling the globe at this point.

01:50:50.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:50:51.000 In New Zealand, the youth here are just, we're probably 20% Māoris, which is brown people, and then the others are white and Indians and all that.

01:51:02.000 We've got hardly any black people here, but the BLM protests are just running rapid here.

01:51:06.000 You know, you've got discrimination against the Indigenous people here, but yet during the level 4 lockdown, the ones with the most restrictions on it, we couldn't even go to a funeral.

01:51:16.000 They were allowing thousands of people to march down the main street of Auckland and protest for a cause that has no effect on our country whatsoever.

01:51:25.000 It's ridiculous.

01:51:26.000 You guys are the Maori place. 1.00

01:51:28.000 There was no slavery.

01:51:30.000 And as far as the Maoris go, they won.

01:51:36.000 Exactly.

01:51:37.000 What's funny with that is I actually go to a very liberal university, and I'm quite a Redpool dude.

01:51:45.000 I probably associate myself with the right-wing conservative, so I get in a lot of fights there.

01:51:50.000 But anyway, the Dutch actually came and invaded New Zealand and were trying to take over land, and the Maldives went to sign a treaty with the English people, and they couldn't sign that treaty fast enough to get the Dutch out of New Zealand.

01:52:02.000 And then they signed that treaty, and then, you know, the English are like, well, in that treaty, you said you're going to give us land.

01:52:08.000 And then the Maldives that actually were with the Dutch trying to take over the Maldives with the English, were like, no, you can't do that.

01:52:15.000 That's where the land war started.

01:52:17.000 And it's ridiculous.

01:52:18.000 People don't actually know the history properly.

01:52:20.000 And now they're trying to equate slavery in America with oppression here.

01:52:24.000 And it's just, it's baffling.

01:52:26.000 It's ridiculous.

01:52:27.000 Well, correct me if I'm wrong.

01:52:28.000 The story I got was the English came to New Zealand.

01:52:32.000 And maybe it was the Dutch, maybe I got it wrong.

01:52:33.000 The Europeans came to New Zealand and they went, oh, this is going to be an easy island to take over. 1.00

01:52:38.000 There's no one fucking here.

01:52:40.000 There's just a bunch of mounds of sand on the beach.

01:52:43.000 And then they got closer and the mounds of sand exploded into human beings with women's field hockey sticks who then just went and started killing everyone. 1.00

01:52:53.000 They said, oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

01:52:54.000 We're not colonizing this place.

01:52:56.000 Can we do a deal?

01:52:56.000 And they go, yeah, maybe.

01:52:58.000 Give me some billion, million dollars, and you can live over there.

01:53:03.000 Well, kind of.

01:53:05.000 It kind of went like that.

01:53:06.000 The first people to come to New Zealand were different.

01:53:09.000 Like they were French, they were Dutch, they're Englishmen.

01:53:12.000 They all came down here for whaling and sealing.

01:53:16.000 So they were fishing up whales and seals and they're actually docking in a place called Russell, which is at the top of New Zealand.

01:53:22.000 And that was the hellhole of the Pacific.

01:53:23.000 There was no law and order there.

01:53:26.000 And, you know, people were just killing, raping, pillaging, whatever around there.

01:53:31.000 And also at that time, the Dutch were trying to influence their power into the region.

01:53:37.000 And the English had already had some sort of pacts with the tribes in Russell.

01:53:42.000 So they formed an alliance with the northern Māori tribes and tried to drive out the Dutch who were actually trying to colonize the country. 0.88

01:53:51.000 And the Dutch were trying to colonize the country with other Māori tribes trying to move their way up. 1.00

01:53:56.000 They keep pronouncing Māori Moldi.

01:54:01.000 Māori, yeah.

01:54:02.000 That's how they pronounce it in their dialect and their pronunciation.

01:54:06.000 They pronounce Maori Moldi?

01:54:11.000 Māori, yeah.

01:54:13.000 So are you speaking in their language the same way people say Nicaragua and Costa Rica?

01:54:22.000 Yeah, kind of.

01:54:24.000 Wait, come on.

01:54:27.000 Sorry.

01:54:28.000 Yeah, the pronunciation is Māori.

01:54:30.000 Okay, so they got the Moldis.

01:54:32.000 But am I right when I say that the Moldis were not victims, they won.

01:54:40.000 Yeah, they won.

01:54:43.000 So they can't even talk about Aboriginal oppression here.

01:54:48.000 Yeah.

01:54:51.000 It gets confusing because there were some tribes that were against English invasion and there were the Māori tribes that were with the English to work with them to help.

01:55:01.000 Because the Māori tribes weren't united.

01:55:03.000 There were hundreds of tribes in New Zealand that weren't united.

01:55:05.000 And some Māori tribes, along with the British, wanted to take over the other Māori tribes.

01:55:11.000 Huh.

01:55:12.000 All right.

01:55:13.000 Well, I think we got it.

01:55:14.000 And we're sorry for red pilling you.

01:55:15.000 It gets kind of fusing.

01:55:16.000 But it is amazing that all of these countries are jumping on board.

01:55:19.000 And it shows that it's got nothing to do with black oppression or of George Floyd or anything.

01:55:23.000 It's fashion.

01:55:25.000 This whole thing is the same as the punk invasion of 1977, where you had punks in New Zealand and punks in Australia.

01:55:34.000 And it wasn't about working class oppression.

01:55:36.000 It was about fashion.

01:55:37.000 It was a hot new trend.

01:55:41.000 All right.

01:55:42.000 Thanks for calling, mate.

01:55:44.000 Have fun pronouncing the word six. 1.00

01:55:49.000 What's it called?

01:55:51.000 What's it called?

01:55:53.000 One hour.

01:55:54.000 Marcus is on.

01:55:54.000 Marcus Epstein.

01:55:56.000 Marcus Epstein.

01:55:57.000 Can you fix that?

01:55:59.000 I've tried.

01:55:59.000 I've gone to speech therapy a lot.

01:56:02.000 Oh, you mention it?

01:56:03.000 That's how you start out the interview.

01:56:04.000 When people are half Asian, I'm always suspicious because their eyes look like this. 1.00

01:56:09.000 But that's just...

01:56:10.000 You're lacking epicanthic folds, right?

01:56:13.000 I suppose that's why.

01:56:14.000 Yeah.

01:56:15.000 How do you tell when Chinese people are stoned? 0.78

01:56:18.000 I guess you have to go by how they act, not how they look.

01:56:21.000 Yeah.

01:56:22.000 Maybe just kind of that way, we go out to West.

01:56:28.000 How are you doing?

01:56:29.000 I'm doing well.

01:56:30.000 What are you doing in New York?

01:56:31.000 You know what else I found I stumbled across?

01:56:33.000 What?

01:56:33.000 The first time we ever spoke to one another.

01:56:37.000 I called in and I told you about a dream I had.

01:56:39.000 This is also the first time I've ever cared about this meeting.

01:56:46.000 Do you have to listen really well?

01:56:47.000 Oh, I thought of a good one to do the other day.

01:56:50.000 Remember when I was up near the fag zone? 1.00

01:56:53.000 What was this three days ago?

01:56:54.000 And I went into your shitty, disgusting apartment.

01:56:57.000 And as I was walking out, you said, oh, okay, I got to go check my mail.

01:57:01.000 And I just went, whatever.

01:57:02.000 But I should have said, oh, I'm just going to check my care.

01:57:05.000 Yeah.

01:57:05.000 Oh, didn't get any.

01:57:06.000 That would have been a good one.

01:57:07.000 What a waste.

01:57:08.000 Oftentimes, when you say the care thing, it sounds like you do care because you're like, My name is Care.

01:57:12.000 Yeah, I know, but that's the beauty of it, it's so ingrained that you know when you hear the word care, you don't.

01:57:18.000 It's like you care so little, you're not even trying to be correct about it.

01:57:22.000 I'll never beat the one at Vice where the sales guy was leaving, and we totally treated the sales team like shit, the editorial board, and they hated that.

01:57:31.000 And he was leaving with a client, and we, just for fun, it was this guy, I forget his name, Adam or something.

01:57:36.000 He was a sales guy, and it's a shitty thing to do because he was paying my rent.

01:57:40.000 And I go, hey, Adam!

01:57:42.000 And he's like, oh, what the fuck?

01:57:43.000 The editorial team's talking to us.

01:57:46.000 And he goes, uh, hey, hey, who's that?

01:57:49.000 And he goes, oh, this is a guy.

01:57:51.000 He works for iHeartRadio.

01:57:52.000 He works with all of the radios in the country.

01:57:56.000 And then I go, oh, does that involve C-A-R-E-F-M? 1.00

01:58:04.000 I might as well retire after that.

01:58:06.000 Yeah, that should have been.

01:58:08.000 Like, you're done.

01:58:08.000 Why continue?

01:58:11.000 Why, oh, fuck?

01:58:13.000 Why do another care joke ever again?

01:58:16.000 You've absolutely nailed it, Mama.

01:58:18.000 You dancing to do they work with me.

01:58:21.000 C-A-I-E-F-M. 1.00

01:58:24.000 And that sails afloat on blue by you.

01:58:28.000 You want to hear this call or Nay?

01:58:29.000 Sure.

01:58:30.000 One second, he's almost there.

01:58:31.000 He's the shyest guy in New York.

01:58:33.000 Shy.

01:58:33.000 Shy, Rye guy.

01:58:34.000 You have to listen really, really closely.

01:58:35.000 Do you know this guy?

01:58:36.000 I can tell he's super shy.

01:58:40.000 Bye-bye.

01:58:41.000 Hey, buddy.

01:58:42.000 Come on out.

01:58:43.000 You're talking to me.

01:58:43.000 Yeah.

01:58:44.000 Just say it real quiet.

01:58:45.000 It's okay, Ry.

01:58:46.000 Maybe he's speaking in sign language.

01:58:49.000 Okay.

01:58:50.000 Ryan, we can't see you, sweetie.

01:58:52.000 We don't know what that.

01:58:53.000 You know, black sign language is different than white sign language? 0.71

01:58:56.000 No, but that's really interesting.

01:58:58.000 Yeah.

01:58:58.000 They do it like it.

01:58:59.000 And neither of them are English.

01:59:00.000 Did you just make that up?

01:59:02.000 No.

01:59:02.000 Ryan's out.

01:59:03.000 Ryan, are you there?

01:59:05.000 Yeah, that's there, sir.

01:59:06.000 Hello.

01:59:06.000 How are you, sir?

01:59:08.000 Fantastic.

01:59:09.000 Good morning.

01:59:09.000 Yeah, and a peculiar thing happened this morning.

01:59:12.000 I woke up from a dream with you getting kicked out of the Emmys or Grammys or some award show for wearing a mask.

01:59:20.000 And this is as I'm unaware of exactly what happened at the stand.

01:59:24.000 So almost like an alarm clock.

01:59:25.000 My buddy wakes up, watch Gavin's show, and then you start talking about what happened at the stand.

01:59:30.000 And it's quite the opposite of the dream, but peculiar.

01:59:34.000 That is very peculiar.

01:59:35.000 Thanks for calling, Ryan.

01:59:36.000 That was amazing.

01:59:36.000 A psychic.

01:59:38.000 Wow.

01:59:39.000 On Witch's Day, he called that.

01:59:41.000 So I knew you were boring from the second I met you.

01:59:44.000 No, but that is a peculiar thing.

01:59:46.000 No, it's not.

01:59:47.000 You don't get what happened?

01:59:48.000 I didn't know that you got kicked out of the stand, and I had a dream right before waking up that you got kicked out of a place.

01:59:54.000 For putting on a mask, what you did was actually take off an article of clothing.

01:59:57.000 Maybe your penis is a mask, and you're hiding your true skin. 0.99

02:00:00.000 I did a comedy set at the stand.

02:00:02.000 The guy before me was Aaron Berg, and he talked about how disgusting foreskins are.

02:00:08.000 And I said, it's kind of hard to come out here after seeing a foreskin lambasted like this.

02:00:12.000 I mean, they're not that bad.

02:00:13.000 And then I pulled my dick out of my pants.

02:00:15.000 What was the initial reaction?

02:00:17.000 They would gasp.

02:00:18.000 There was some laughing, but the management was fucking furious and said you could never set foot here ever again.

02:00:24.000 Ugh, lame-os.

02:00:25.000 I do like the...

02:00:26.000 The manager, or not the manager, but whatever, the main guy's quote was, he goes, you know, I've had your back a lot over the couple years I've known you, and we've been close, but now I have to turn my back on you.

02:00:40.000 Oh my god.

02:00:41.000 I have to turn my care on you.

02:00:42.000 I'm done.

02:00:43.000 Today's drawing.

02:00:44.000 What do you think?

02:00:46.000 Oh, nice.

02:00:47.000 We're both wearing this shirt and then it says it in the background.

02:00:50.000 I look sexy.

02:00:51.000 You want me to focus it?

02:00:53.000 Okay.

02:00:56.000 I've had two beers and two glasses of whiskey.

02:01:00.000 I don't have to pee.

02:01:03.000 That'll be at the doodle auction shortly.

02:01:06.000 But the one there now has got a lot of shit.

02:01:09.000 I was a little disappointed in the last one.

02:01:12.000 I didn't put up enough drawings.

02:01:13.000 It comes in ways, these things.

02:01:15.000 I'm disorganized.

02:01:17.000 But with all those John Kinsman doodles, I'm pretty excited about the next WAV.

02:01:22.000 Do you miss the Doodle Cam?

02:01:23.000 Is that why?

02:01:24.000 Like, you feel like...

02:01:25.000 No.

02:01:26.000 Okay.

02:01:26.000 But we do.

02:01:27.000 To make a good drawing takes about an hour, right?

02:01:31.000 This is why I could never be a cartoonist.

02:01:33.000 This is one panel.

02:01:35.000 And it's not even, like, there's no background in it.

02:01:38.000 So this is one panel out of nine.

02:01:40.000 So that's nine hours a page.

02:01:43.000 And unless you're getting paid fucking, you know, as a grown man, fucking $50,000 for a graphic novel, it's not minimum wage.

02:01:55.000 Although that's my plan.

02:01:57.000 When everything's over, I'm totally extinguished and I'm completely canceled and I can't stick my head out without it getting shot off.

02:02:03.000 I'm going to do a graphic novel.

02:02:07.000 I am never going to financially recover from this.

02:02:12.000 We have James.

02:02:16.000 There goes James.

02:02:16.000 What's up, Haynes?

02:02:19.000 Hey, Gavin.

02:02:20.000 Hey, Ryan.

02:02:20.000 How are you?

02:02:21.000 Good.

02:02:22.000 You sound like you might want to get a job in a zoo.

02:02:28.000 So I was calling, are you familiar with what's going on out here in California about statues and of Juniper O'Sarah and what's going on with the missions out here in terms of the history behind them and they're trying to get them taken down?

02:02:47.000 I think we touched on that, right?

02:02:49.000 Well, we're obviously very familiar with the entire statue debate, but no, I don't know this.

02:02:54.000 Jesus Christ.

02:02:55.000 So they're trying to take down a saint here?

02:02:57.000 Did you see the saint that was that what's her name?

02:03:01.000 Alexandria Christikotez.

02:03:02.000 AOC wanted to take down a saint from the Hawaiian saint who worked at a leper colony for like 50 years. 0.99

02:03:10.000 What?

02:03:10.000 In Molokai, yeah.

02:03:12.000 Molokai, right, yeah.

02:03:15.000 Yeah, it's, it's, uh, there's this huge, you know, wave of people trying to get these statues.

02:03:23.000 You know, they're being vandalized and taken down.

02:03:27.000 The town that I live in, we just had to Take down a statue in front of City Hall and change the city seal because they're, I don't know, offended by this.

02:03:40.000 But this guy essentially founded a ton of towns across California.

02:03:47.000 I mean, huge influence.

02:03:49.000 What was his name?

02:03:50.000 Who was he?

02:03:52.000 Father Yannipero Serra.

02:03:54.000 Oh, that's the guy they just showed.

02:03:55.000 So they called him a saint because he helped build the state that you live in.

02:04:02.000 Pretty much, yeah.

02:04:04.000 That is really incredible.

02:04:06.000 There's been, yeah, and there's been tons of vandalism on these missions, which are actually churches.

02:04:14.000 And it's all part of this anti-Christian sentiment that's going on in California right now with the media trying to shame people for holding church services on the beach.

02:04:26.000 There's a pastor that is having an injunction served against him like 20 minutes away from me.

02:04:34.000 It's just sad.

02:04:36.000 Well, that's what this is all about.

02:04:37.000 It's not about Robert E. Lee was pro-slavery and slavery is bad. 0.69

02:04:42.000 It's about I hate America.

02:04:43.000 I hate Western culture.

02:04:46.000 I hate this whole part of the world.

02:04:48.000 The West is not the best.

02:04:49.000 The West is the worst.

02:04:51.000 And the funny thing, like, I get the argument with Christopher Columbus, though I don't agree with it.

02:04:55.000 You're just dumb and you hear that he chopped off Aboriginals' hands and you go, well, he was mean.

02:05:02.000 You just don't get that.

02:05:03.000 That's what life was like back then.

02:05:05.000 But whenever you look up at Saint, you know, like Saint Malachi, you don't see anything like that.

02:05:12.000 There's no hand chopping.

02:05:14.000 There's just giving, giving, giving.

02:05:16.000 Like, Malachi ended up with leprosy at the end of his tenure there and died of it.

02:05:21.000 But no, I just don't like him.

02:05:24.000 I don't like saints.

02:05:25.000 He looks like a slave owner.

02:05:28.000 So I guarantee you that this saint, this guy, I've never heard of before, I guarantee you there's no skeletons in his closet.

02:05:36.000 Yeah, the Catholic Church, I think they just made him an apostle in the midst of all this.

02:05:41.000 And all this came up within like a week after the George Floyd thing.

02:05:46.000 Like they start taking down Confederate statues and then it turns into like what you were saying just earlier where it's like a fashion trend.

02:05:53.000 You know, now it's and some, you know, it's got to be anti-Christian.

02:05:59.000 It's an anti-Christian thing that's going on.

02:06:01.000 And you know, I was pretty early on the statue thing and I said it's a bad move.

02:06:06.000 And the reason I said it's a bad move is because where does it end?

02:06:10.000 And here we are.

02:06:11.000 You started with your argument that I didn't agree with but I got, where you said, I don't want pro-slavery guys to be put on a pedestal.

02:06:21.000 Okay, look, it's all part of our history, but I see what you're saying.

02:06:24.000 And then you gave them that, and it's give them an inch, take a mile, and then they wanted to take down this statue, that statue, St. Malachi, St. Juniper.

02:06:31.000 And now they're just destroying our history.

02:06:35.000 Remember the good old days when the winners wrote history?

02:06:38.000 Now the losers are writing history.

02:06:42.000 Yeah, it's just sad because you can see it becoming a huge snowball effect, especially out here because so many things are named after conquistadors.

02:06:52.000 So much of the Mexican history across here in California is based off of conquistadors.

02:07:02.000 That's what Mexicans are. 0.99

02:07:07.000 If you're not a midget, a little brown midget, and you're Mexican, you're a conquistador. 1.00

02:07:13.000 And you fucking killed the little brown midgets. 1.00

02:07:17.000 All right, man, thanks for calling.

02:07:19.000 It's a disgusting scenario.

02:07:21.000 At least we're red-pilling new Kiwis, though. 0.98

02:07:26.000 This article here, they took the cross off the seal, the comments, I was just curious.

02:07:31.000 And somebody commented this.

02:07:32.000 I'm with you, Jay, and may I suggest that you replace the letter, but they put every asterisk instead of the T. I find crossing crucifixes to be offensive, microaggressive, and discomforting.

02:07:43.000 So he asterisks all his T's.

02:07:46.000 That's funny.

02:07:47.000 That's a good angle.

02:07:48.000 Wait, isn't the flag of England, isn't it a cross?

02:07:53.000 The big ass cross.

02:07:54.000 Yeah, yeah, wait.

02:07:54.000 Yeah, that the red cross thing?

02:07:56.000 England.

02:07:59.000 This is England.

02:08:01.000 Oh, there's two of them.

02:08:03.000 One's the Union Jack shit for brains.

02:08:05.000 But that red cross, that's the Christian cross.

02:08:08.000 And then the Scottish flag is an X, but I think it's the crucifixion or something of Saint Andrew.

02:08:21.000 So that is a cross of sorts, too.

02:08:25.000 Because he was like this.

02:08:27.000 You know?

02:08:28.000 I'm pretty sure that's the origin of the Scottish flag.

02:08:31.000 I think you're right.

02:08:32.000 I mean, how many crosses are in flags?

02:08:34.000 Hey, computer, how many countries use a Christian cross in their flag?

02:08:40.000 She's not going to get that flag.

02:08:42.000 I'm not sure.

02:08:43.000 Yeah.

02:08:44.000 Hey, computer, are you really worth the money?

02:08:57.000 She's basically just like, what's the population of Chile?

02:08:59.000 That's all she can do.

02:09:00.000 Hey, computer?

02:09:02.000 Hey, computer, will robots run the world one day?

02:09:08.000 Here's something I found on the web.

02:09:10.000 According to the computer song.org.

02:09:12.000 Hey, computer, I have a web too.

02:09:16.000 Hey, computer.

02:09:18.000 You come across as a bitch. 1.00

02:09:22.000 That's what I think.

02:09:23.000 Alright, let's do one more.

02:09:24.000 We're in overtime.

02:09:28.000 Look at the shitty drawings you don't get.

02:09:31.000 We have the 30 calls waiting.

02:09:34.000 Lucky Sammy Dunes.

02:09:41.000 Yo.

02:09:42.000 Yo.

02:09:43.000 Mountain?

02:09:44.000 Yes.

02:09:46.000 Yeah, I know where those dunes are.

02:09:49.000 Oh, cool.

02:09:50.000 Where?

02:09:52.000 It's called McAllister Park.

02:09:55.000 It's just across the pond on Long Island.

02:10:00.000 You're kidding me.

02:10:01.000 Look that shit up.

02:10:03.000 Let's do it.

02:10:03.000 I used to go there when I was a kid, dude.

02:10:07.000 That's badass.

02:10:08.000 Yeah.

02:10:09.000 Send me a t-shirt for that income.

02:10:11.000 No joke.

02:10:12.000 How is it not packed?

02:10:14.000 Was that like, was that, I don't know, Christmas morning at 5 a.m.?

02:10:19.000 Told you it was New York.

02:10:21.000 I don't know, dude.

02:10:23.000 I don't know.

02:10:24.000 When you would go there, was it ever empty like that?

02:10:26.000 Looks empty right now.

02:10:29.000 I don't know.

02:10:30.000 We used to take the boat and kind of dock and then swim in.

02:10:33.000 It was usually decently packed, but we were pretty little.

02:10:38.000 But it's fucking sick there, man.

02:10:41.000 You got to take your kids, man.

02:10:42.000 Can you get there by not boat?

02:10:46.000 Yeah, you can take the ferry into Port Jeff and then just walk there or take the taxi or whatever.

02:10:53.000 Are you stone?

02:10:57.000 Yeah, I'm stone and I'm drinking maple.

02:11:00.000 Nice.

02:11:01.000 So you're both sort of out of it and also at the same time delivering valuable information.

02:11:08.000 Listen, if I could, I would bomb a sand dune.

02:11:14.000 Bong a sand dune.

02:11:15.000 Nice.

02:11:16.000 Did you ever do what that guy did?

02:11:21.000 Not quite.

02:11:22.000 I was pretty young, but we definitely used to slide down on like cardboard and shit.

02:11:28.000 I guess you can get your knees and you can do it in a way where none of your body's touching the sand.

02:11:35.000 Yeah, you know what?

02:11:37.000 You got to steal from the cafeteria one of those trays.

02:11:40.000 Yeah, but those trays would just cover this.

02:11:43.000 I got this, this, what are you, Ryan Ketsu Rivera?

02:11:48.000 Hey.

02:11:51.000 No, I'm six feet, but I was pretty young when I used to go there, you know, but your kids could do it for sure.

02:11:56.000 It's an hour from here.

02:11:57.000 All right, we're going to check it out.

02:11:59.000 From Penn Station to there.

02:12:02.000 Thanks for calling, dude.

02:12:03.000 I love when that happens.

02:12:04.000 But so that guy called in and he showed us that place.

02:12:07.000 We now have it.

02:12:08.000 We can check it out.

02:12:09.000 And we were just there.

02:12:10.000 I was just there.

02:12:11.000 I was in, what's it called?

02:12:14.000 Where was I?

02:12:16.000 The Salts or something?

02:12:17.000 The Springs.

02:12:18.000 Springs, New York.

02:12:19.000 Look up Springs, New York and that thing.

02:12:22.000 Dukes?

02:12:25.000 I bet I was like 20 minutes away, Max.

02:12:28.000 Springs, New York.

02:12:31.000 Oh, no, you were over the...

02:12:32.000 Oh, I was way the fuck at the show.

02:12:34.000 You can show people.

02:12:35.000 The tippity tip.

02:12:36.000 Yeah, I was a million miles away.

02:12:38.000 You've been to Gardener's Island?

02:12:40.000 I don't think so.

02:12:40.000 That looks kind of tight.

02:12:43.000 Did I tell you I went to visit my buddy Steamfitter from the Knights of Columbus?

02:12:48.000 I mentioned that on the show, right?

02:12:49.000 And he's in like Andy Warhol's house.

02:12:51.000 Not literally, but it looks like that.

02:12:53.000 And I'm like, what the fuck?

02:12:55.000 This is steam fitting?

02:12:57.000 And he goes, what are you talking about?

02:12:58.000 I go, you're a steam fitter.

02:12:59.000 Look at this fucking mansion.

02:13:01.000 He's got that New York, grew up in house kitchen accent.

02:13:03.000 It's all right.

02:13:04.000 What are you talking about?

02:13:06.000 And I go, how much do they pay steam fitters?

02:13:08.000 He goes, steam fitters?

02:13:09.000 I did that as a joke.

02:13:10.000 That was a hobby.

02:13:11.000 I'm in commercial real estate.

02:13:13.000 That's where I made my money.

02:13:15.000 I was like, oh, shit.

02:13:16.000 Wow.

02:13:18.000 I need some good money.

02:13:20.000 Get what you fucking deserve.

02:13:22.000 A really nice house if you work for it.

02:13:24.000 All right.

02:13:26.000 Let's take only one more call.

02:13:27.000 Oh, okay.

02:13:28.000 This is the encore, Alex.

02:13:32.000 What's going on, guys?

02:13:34.000 Hey, guy.

02:13:35.000 Hey, man.

02:13:37.000 Hey, guys.

02:13:37.000 Yeah, just a PEI here.

02:13:39.000 So I had to write this down.

02:13:40.000 Isn't that funny?

02:13:41.000 Okay, so how did you get rid of your stage fright?

02:13:45.000 I get stage fright.

02:13:48.000 Oh, okay.

02:13:48.000 You should try a thing called Budweiser.

02:13:53.000 That helps.

02:13:57.000 This is stage fright doing what?

02:13:59.000 Stand-up, being in a band?

02:14:00.000 What?

02:14:02.000 I'm just, well, even calling in, I got a little fucking nervous.

02:14:06.000 All right, well, that's none of our concern.

02:14:08.000 But where else do you get it?

02:14:11.000 Or is that why you're calling?

02:14:12.000 What do you want?

02:14:13.000 It's public speaking.

02:14:14.000 Yeah, it's public speaking.

02:14:15.000 So, yeah, it's a little personal question.

02:14:18.000 Okay, well, my advice to you would be the same reason.

02:14:20.000 Like, my wife doesn't like to go to parties if she doesn't know people. 0.98

02:14:23.000 And I go, honey, who cares?

02:14:25.000 Fuck these people.

02:14:26.000 Like, let's go in there.

02:14:27.000 We get kicked out.

02:14:28.000 Say it's boring.

02:14:29.000 We go, this is boring.

02:14:31.000 Like, you know, the song Punk Rock Girl by the Dead Milkman?

02:14:33.000 They go in and they just start fucking with people. 0.67

02:14:35.000 And we said, we asked if you have Mojo Nixon.

02:14:38.000 And they said he don't work here.

02:14:39.000 And we said, if you don't know Mojo Nixon, then your store could use some fixed.

02:14:42.000 Just like, you don't care what these people think.

02:14:44.000 They're not better than you.

02:14:46.000 Imagine them naked in black socks if that helps.

02:14:48.000 But also, bombing is fun.

02:14:50.000 It's an experience.

02:14:51.000 Get out there.

02:14:52.000 Experience life.

02:14:54.000 And if I don't like you, who gives a fuck?

02:14:56.000 What's going to happen?

02:14:58.000 You know?

02:14:58.000 You got to remember that everyone sucks.

02:15:01.000 Everyone is a loser.

02:15:02.000 You're not better than them, but they're not better than you.

02:15:05.000 We're all just fuck-ups bumbling around.

02:15:08.000 All right.

02:15:08.000 Thanks for calling.

02:15:11.000 That was good advice.

02:15:12.000 You get kicked out of the party?

02:15:13.000 Good.

02:15:13.000 They'll never invite you back.

02:15:14.000 That's not the kind of people you want to hang out with.

02:15:16.000 Wait, go back to that video.

02:15:18.000 It's a good example of how you should go through life.

02:15:37.000 I think I know that person.

02:15:39.000 Is that that one where you can see the older people killed himself, by the way? 0.99

02:15:43.000 That's the one that you went to, in Philly or something?

02:15:46.000 Yeah, in where is that?

02:15:48.000 In Pittsburgh, some Pennsylvania place?

02:15:51.000 What's the place?

02:15:52.000 It's Philadelphia.

02:15:54.000 We went to a shopping.

02:15:55.000 This is it.

02:15:56.000 This is what I'm talking about.

02:16:00.000 No more record shoppers.

02:16:02.000 We have a record.

02:16:09.000 Hey, done.

02:16:10.000 Wait, is that the only video?

02:16:14.000 They cut it out?

02:16:15.000 No, this is it.

02:16:16.000 I remember this so much cooler in my mind.

02:16:20.000 It should be video shot in a prison.

02:16:24.000 No, see the punk pot girl. 1.00

02:16:33.000 I hope that's not the one who killed himself.

02:16:35.000 He's really talented.

02:16:37.000 And she's a two. 1.00

02:16:38.000 Alright, let's do one more call.

02:16:44.000 Kate's B. That's probably not the name, but that's what I'm reading here.

02:16:48.000 Hey, Kate.

02:16:49.000 It's HB.

02:16:49.000 Hey, guys.

02:16:50.000 What's up, Kate?

02:16:51.000 No, anyway, so I'm down here in Virginia.

02:16:54.000 Just a quick couple of quick notes.

02:16:55.000 First of all, all the young men need to get married and have babies. 1.00

02:16:59.000 Yes.

02:17:00.000 I only had two because some shit went down.

02:17:03.000 But my dad came to America in 1954 with nothing.

02:17:08.000 And he went to college.

02:17:10.000 He got my mom to come over.

02:17:12.000 And he became chief of the whole fucking U.S. Border Patrol.

02:17:15.000 Right.

02:17:16.000 And he retired.

02:17:17.000 And his five kids had 24 grandchildren.

02:17:22.000 Right.

02:17:22.000 So we all live around here.

02:17:24.000 He's got a great legacy.

02:17:26.000 And he just told, but he's 90 now.

02:17:28.000 And he's still all with it.

02:17:30.000 He's a big MAGA guy.

02:17:31.000 And he calls me every day.

02:17:33.000 But he talks for like five seconds.

02:17:35.000 It's hilarious.

02:17:35.000 He goes, what are you doing?

02:17:36.000 I go, I'm working.

02:17:36.000 He goes, all right.

02:17:37.000 Did you see that Trump thing?

02:17:38.000 He goes, all right, goodbye.

02:17:39.000 He hangs up.

02:17:39.000 It's kind of funny.

02:17:40.000 Yeah.

02:17:41.000 I bet his showers.

02:17:43.000 I bet his showers take about eight seconds.

02:17:47.000 Yeah, right.

02:17:49.000 So anyway, he's been telling us crazy fucking stories from his past that he just is remembering all of a sudden that we never heard before.

02:17:58.000 Where's he from?

02:17:58.000 So what we heard the other day was he's from Dublin.

02:18:01.000 Both my parents were born in Dublin.

02:18:03.000 Okay.

02:18:05.000 And here's just a little anecdote, right?

02:18:07.000 Check this out.

02:18:08.000 My old man, his grandfather got, you know, conscripted in the British Army and was actually in South Africa and fought in the fucking Boer War with, what's his name?

02:18:19.000 Winston Churchill.

02:18:20.000 No shit.

02:18:21.000 Wow.

02:18:22.000 I have his fucking medals here on my desk in my office.

02:18:26.000 Anyway, so he's telling the story and my sister happened to be there recording it.

02:18:31.000 He goes, well, you know, when I was about nine, my mom and me were getting on the bus in Dublin and we were heading down to the shop and some fucking IRA guy gets on the goddamn bus, starts waving a gun around.

02:18:44.000 My mom takes a swing at him and he fucking shoots her in the arm. 1.00

02:18:48.000 Holy shit.

02:18:50.000 It was fucking hilarious.

02:18:52.000 That's incredible.

02:18:55.000 Does he still have an action?

02:18:57.000 So his, my mom, my mom had hers until she passed away about five years ago.

02:19:04.000 But my dad, no, it's kind of gone.

02:19:06.000 But if he gets around Irish people, it'll kind of come out a little bit. 0.80

02:19:10.000 He's a hoot and a half, man.

02:19:11.000 And just one little note that's cool.

02:19:15.000 He's only one of 12 guys who have ever been chiefs of the U.S. Border Patrol.

02:19:20.000 Whoever been what?

02:19:24.000 Chief of the U.S. Border Patrol.

02:19:26.000 Oh, that's amazing.

02:19:27.000 Wow.

02:19:28.000 You should get him that book, Hero of the Empire.

02:19:34.000 No, I got it for him.

02:19:35.000 He's already read it.

02:19:36.000 Oh, great.

02:19:38.000 Like, I don't like Churchill.

02:19:39.000 I think he was a warmonger because of that war.

02:19:43.000 I think he always felt like a pretty, not a pretty boy, but a little rich kid.

02:19:47.000 And he always wanted to make his mark to a fault and got a lot of men killed.

02:19:53.000 But it's still a great book.

02:19:56.000 Yeah, it really is.

02:19:58.000 So, anyway, well, thanks for having me on the show.

02:20:01.000 It's always good to talk to you guys.

02:20:03.000 And by the way, I know a friend of yours out in St. Louis by the name of JT.

02:20:08.000 We used to work together.

02:20:09.000 What's his name?

02:20:10.000 I don't know if that rings a bell.

02:20:12.000 JT?

02:20:13.000 JT who?

02:20:16.000 Well, I don't want to say his name.

02:20:20.000 So I'm such a pariah that I can't have known someone.

02:20:24.000 Yes.

02:20:25.000 No, no, no, no.

02:20:26.000 I just didn't want it going out.

02:20:28.000 And that's all.

02:20:30.000 But why would that be bad if I had known someone?

02:20:34.000 JT Lemieux once knew Gavin McInnes.

02:20:37.000 Fire him. 0.82

02:20:40.000 No, his name's James Taylor.

02:20:41.000 He lives out, and he used to be a punk guy.

02:20:44.000 He used to play the guitar in a punk band.

02:20:46.000 Then he quit and just doing other stuff.

02:20:48.000 He's married now with a kid.

02:20:50.000 It's not ringing a bell.

02:20:50.000 And he said he knew you.

02:20:52.000 I think I knew.

02:20:53.000 Well.

02:20:54.000 I might.

02:20:55.000 No?

02:20:56.000 No?

02:20:56.000 All right.

02:20:56.000 Thanks for calling anyway.

02:20:57.000 Later.

02:20:58.000 JT's a liar.

02:21:00.000 Yeah.

02:21:00.000 Okay, one more call, then we got to go.

02:21:02.000 Okay.

02:21:03.000 We've got three minutes and 50 seconds.

02:21:05.000 Oh, shit.

02:21:06.000 What a card space.

02:21:07.000 Sean?

02:21:08.000 Let it be known that I didn't fucking pussy out the card did. 1.00

02:21:11.000 That's correct.

02:21:14.000 What's up, Sean?

02:21:15.000 Hello?

02:21:16.000 Hey, dude.

02:21:19.000 Oh, what's up, man?

02:21:21.000 Yeah, so this is a call about the fag zone.

02:21:24.000 So I'm curious, what kind of fag zone accoutrement does Ryan use in order to light up the mood when he invites guys over? 0.98

02:21:34.000 Well, there's no fag zone.

02:21:38.000 You should see the light collection he has.

02:21:40.000 He's got this weird hexagonal thing that lights up.

02:21:45.000 He's got a rock?

02:21:46.000 Don't you have a rock that lights up?

02:21:48.000 Himalayan sea salt.

02:21:49.000 Himalayan sea salt rock.

02:21:51.000 Cockrings? 0.83

02:21:52.000 No, there's no cockrings.

02:21:54.000 There's probably cockrings hidden somewhere, but he's never had money before.

02:21:58.000 He's enrich.

02:22:00.000 And he's got like a humidor.

02:22:02.000 He's got a portable leather cigar carrier.

02:22:06.000 And a permanent one.

02:22:08.000 He's got a fucking clip for his Crocs that goes on his backpack.

02:22:13.000 He put pictures on his wall that are just like what you do when you're 13, like just from a magazine and you pin it there with a tack.

02:22:20.000 There you go.

02:22:21.000 They're on the right.

02:22:22.000 That's them on the right in the fag zone. 1.00

02:22:24.000 That thing you see with the trees, it's not like it's well done or it's nice.

02:22:28.000 It's a fucking cheap, chintzy, like print with wrinkles on it.

02:22:33.000 And then he's got a picture next to him that that's actually a window curtain thing, but they're different times.

02:22:40.000 So is it night or is it day or is it day or is it night?

02:22:43.000 We don't know.

02:22:44.000 Depends where you're looking.

02:22:46.000 And then I got that dark IKEA print there that when I got to take the line.

02:22:50.000 It's disgusting, dude.

02:22:51.000 It's just as bad and as embarrassing.

02:22:52.000 And it reeks and there's just piles of laundry.

02:22:55.000 I can't believe anyone, any woman has ever been there. 1.00

02:22:58.000 It's awesome.

02:22:59.000 Which is why it's the fag zone. 1.00

02:23:00.000 All right, thanks for calling.

02:23:01.000 Let's do one more call, then we got to wrap it up.

02:23:03.000 I don't think we have.

02:23:04.000 Okay, we don't have time?

02:23:05.000 Let's push it to the limit.

02:23:06.000 One more.

02:23:07.000 All right.

02:23:08.000 Hello?

02:23:09.000 Kyle, this better be quick, goddamn you.

02:23:12.000 Boy, what are you doing?

02:23:13.000 Damn my cabin.

02:23:14.000 Damn it, Makabat.

02:23:15.000 What are you doing?

02:23:17.000 There's a black woman in the street. 1.00

02:23:20.000 Okay.

02:23:22.000 What?

02:23:22.000 I don't know.

02:23:23.000 Hey, Gavin, I want to tell you hop along Tibetan pop stars.

02:23:29.000 And I want to know your best case scenario for America.

02:23:35.000 Huh.

02:23:37.000 We're just going to ignore the Tibetan pop stars thing.

02:23:40.000 That's a band.

02:23:42.000 Hop along Tibetan pop stars? 0.98

02:23:44.000 Wow, we're really taking a lot of calls today.

02:23:47.000 The best case for America is that we see what they want.

02:23:51.000 We see what the far left wants, and it's not a different thing.

02:23:54.000 Like if Amish were rioting, we'd go, all right, Amish, what do you want? 1.00

02:23:57.000 And they go, get away from technology.

02:23:59.000 Build your own homes with wood.

02:24:01.000 Don't have so many machines everywhere.

02:24:03.000 And we'd be like, wow, get more into carpentry.

02:24:06.000 Don't drink.

02:24:07.000 Don't do drugs.

02:24:08.000 Oh, okay.

02:24:09.000 You have a plan.

02:24:10.000 I see.

02:24:10.000 You want a different system.

02:24:12.000 And they wouldn't win because they'd be wrong, but at least it would be an argument.

02:24:16.000 And the left has no argument, as Stefan Molyneux would say.

02:24:19.000 So what we're seeing right now is their version of events, and it's just fucking absolute destruction.

02:24:25.000 And so I think this is good because, as that New Zealand caller said, we're red-pilling the entire world. 0.97

02:24:31.000 Everyone is seeing what life is like with the far left, and it's absolute chaos.

02:24:36.000 So Trump is going to win.

02:24:37.000 Law and order will finally get its due.

02:24:39.000 And in about two years, being a cop will be the greatest job that you can ever have because we will have seen firsthand what life is like without law and order.

02:24:48.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:24:53.000 You must wear your mask.

02:24:55.000 You have to wear your mask.

02:24:56.000 You must wear your mask.

02:24:58.000 You have to wear your mask.

02:24:59.000 I was set up.

02:25:01.000 I was set up.

02:25:02.000 And so you're not supposed to get set up.

02:25:05.000 As it turns out, it wasn't set up.

02:25:08.000 So I take responsibility for falling for a setup.

02:25:11.000 I don't wear a mask when I'm washing my hair.

02:25:14.000 Do you wear a mask when you're washing your hair?

02:25:17.000 I've been there many, many times.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 10, 2020

GOML LIVE #64 - NO MASK

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