Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 22, 2021


GOML LIVE #99 - AFRICAN JAZZ (Part 1)

Topics
fishing trip beer-battered fish preparation tacticalwalls.com
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Ed Asner Martin Short Lee Ving Robert Lee Brock Johnny Apple CBD Barry Beckett Nita Fashions John Joseph Ian McKay Gavin Pillsbury Doughboy Mercedes Carrera Marianne Williamson Melinda Thomas Jeffrey Dahmer Justin Trudeau Elvis Costello Matt Grabowski Matthew Perry and 22 more
GOML LIVE #99 - AFRICAN JAZZ S03E112 - THE FAST SHOW

Episode Stats


Length

56 minutes

Words per minute

150.48

Word count

8,482

Sentence count

1,071

Harmful content

Misogyny

35

sentences flagged

Toxicity

222

sentences flagged

Hate speech

27

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this week s episode of the podcast, we have special guest Mercedes Carrera on the show to talk about the case of Melinda Thomas, who is serving a life sentence for the murder of her ex-boyfriend, Jeffrey Dahmer. We talk about her case and how she s been treated by the justice system and how it s effect s her life. We also talk about how the American justice system treats women, and how they re treated in general, especially in regards to the criminal justice system in general. We also get into the details of the case and what s going on with Melinda s case and why it s so important to have a prosecutor who s willing to take a look at a case and see if there s any hope of getting a plea deal for her. And, of course, we finish the episode with a special guest who s been in the news this week! The one and only Mercedes Cesar Carrera! Thank you so much to Mercedes for joining us on the podcast and for being our guest on this weeks episode. We couldn t do it without her. Thank you, Mercedes. We ll see you next week for coming back next week with a new episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills! . Thanks, Mercedes! XOXO, EJ & EJ! Enjoy, Ej and Elyssa! -Jon & Elesa ! Jon & Ej Don t forget to leave us a rating and review the show on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast! and review! If you like what you re listening to the show, leave a review and share it on iTunes, share it so we can spread the word around the world! or share it with your friends and tell your friends about the world about EJ and EJ is listening to us on social media! , EJ will be listening to EJ on the air! EJ can be reached on Insta- and Ej will be looking out there. Ej is looking out for EJ. -EJAY! EJ - EJ gets a new episodes on the next episode of EJ's new podcast EJ s new podcast EZY! & EZBOOO & much more. EJ does it all the way to the real EJ BAY!

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:03.000 Milk and Milky's comments and milk wagons and all of that.
00:00:14.000 I'm from New York!
00:00:16.000 Get off my lawn with Gavin Pimmons! 0.84
00:00:41.000 Hello.
00:00:43.000 What was that?
00:00:43.000 That was just sort of a meme song where they are mocking, I guess, those Indian dudes who get on social media and say, let me see your bobs.
00:00:54.000 Can you open up your cloths?
00:00:55.000 That's the chick from those commercials. 1.00
00:00:58.000 You know, we had the same manager for a while.
00:01:00.000 I recognize her.
00:01:01.000 Yeah, she's like the commercial chick with the huge bobs. 1.00
00:01:07.000 Any app is a dating app if you're Indian, buddy. 1.00
00:01:10.000 Send me neck-to-peak. 1.00
00:01:12.000 Bitch lasagna. 1.00
00:01:13.000 Neck-to-peak. 1.00
00:01:13.000 Your bubs are very big. 1.00
00:01:21.000 You know, I heard what they do.
00:01:23.000 It's called Romeo calling.
00:01:26.000 Where they just open up the yellow pages and they just call a female name. 0.99
00:01:29.000 They're like, hello, would you like to have sex with me? 0.99
00:01:33.000 And how? 1.00
00:01:33.000 I guess they have phone sex? 1.00
00:01:35.000 You know, they have so much time. 0.98
00:01:37.000 I bet what they do is they just call... Whoa.
00:01:41.000 Is that a Romeo dial?
00:01:42.000 Hello, who is this?
00:01:48.000 An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.
00:01:52.000 This call is not private.
00:01:54.000 It will be recorded and may be monitored.
00:01:56.000 If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number to accept this free call.
00:02:04.000 Press 1 to refuse this free call.
00:02:07.000 Thank you for using Securus.
00:02:09.000 You may start the conversation now.
00:02:12.000 Hey! 0.99
00:02:13.000 How you doing Mercedes?
00:02:18.000 Good.
00:02:18.000 You're live on the air.
00:02:20.000 I am live on the air.
00:02:22.000 Well, thank you.
00:02:23.000 So, you're talking to 25,000 people right now.
00:02:28.000 Well, hello 25,000 people.
00:02:31.000 Is there a particular message you want to say to them all?
00:02:34.000 Well, I love all of you.
00:02:37.000 That's pretty simple.
00:02:39.000 I miss all of you.
00:02:41.000 Any progress on your case?
00:02:45.000 Oh, I'm just sitting here rotting in jail and the courts haven't quite reopened and it's amazing the head game that they play out here in this district.
00:02:57.000 My DA has the nerve to say that it's my responsibility to throw her a deal.
00:03:05.000 Yeah.
00:03:07.000 Yeah, this is what San Bernardino County does.
00:03:09.000 Wait, I don't get it.
00:03:11.000 It's your responsibility to throw her a deal.
00:03:14.000 Yes, yes, and it better be in the high double digits, otherwise, you know, she's going to make sure that this trial is very hard on me. 0.99
00:03:22.000 So she wants you to come up with your own plea deal and it should be to the tune of like, what, double digits, like 99 years?
00:03:31.000 Yeah, and if not, then she's going to make sure that this trial is very hard on me.
00:03:36.000 So there was a covert threat wrapped up in this.
00:03:40.000 Yeah, this is what I'm dealing with out here, and I told you the story about Melinda Thomas.
00:03:44.000 They sentenced her to 18 years on the charge.
00:03:48.000 This is what I'm dealing with out here in San Bernardino County.
00:03:52.000 Well, I don't think it's just San Bernardino County.
00:03:54.000 It seems to be the American justice system these days.
00:03:57.000 Oh yeah!
00:03:58.000 We're in, you know, people talk about, you know, how could the Nazis have done this?
00:04:03.000 Or how could people have gotten away with this in Soviet Russia?
00:04:05.000 We're in it, people.
00:04:07.000 I'm a canary in a coal mine.
00:04:08.000 I'm telling you guys.
00:04:10.000 You know, I go to court and some of these cops, they look at me and they go, oh gosh, we know you don't belong here.
00:04:15.000 And I think to myself, well, you guys are doing this to me.
00:04:18.000 Yeah, you know we had a caller the other day who said woman don't belong in the military and they sentenced him to 46 days of hard labor and I just realized that's a gulag!
00:04:28.000 That's what a gulag is!
00:04:31.000 Well, we're in it right now.
00:04:32.000 You know, when I talk to these cops, and a lot of these cops know I shouldn't be here, and I go, well, you guys are doing this to me.
00:04:37.000 So every single one of you who knows I shouldn't be here, and yet you're doing this to me.
00:04:41.000 I mean, you guys have to understand, they put me in chains, like medieval chains.
00:04:45.000 I mean, like Jeffrey Dahmer style chains every time they transport me to court.
00:04:51.000 I have one set of clothing all week.
00:04:53.000 I have been waging a mini war all week long.
00:04:56.000 They gave me a blanket that's stained with some other woman's menstrual blood. 0.99
00:04:59.000 Oh my lord.
00:05:02.000 Mercedes, I can't hear you very well because you're on speakerphone in order for everyone else to hear, but I gotta get back to the show.
00:05:08.000 We just put your address up on the screen.
00:05:09.000 Bye. 0.93
00:05:32.000 That's Mercedes Carrera, porn star who is MAGA, who has, I believe, has been framed with some crazy pedophile charge. 1.00
00:05:40.000 I do think it's likely there was guns and meth in the same place, which is part of her charges, but I do not believe she molested her daughter.
00:05:51.000 You're innocent until proven guilty.
00:05:53.000 Anyway, that was a kooky call to get.
00:05:55.000 We have fish tacos here that Ryan made at home and brought into the studio.
00:06:00.000 Ay yi yi! 1.00
00:06:02.000 And I caught them.
00:06:03.000 That's right.
00:06:05.000 Feels good to catch your dinner.
00:06:07.000 There's something sort of primal about it.
00:06:09.000 So let's test it out, shall we?
00:06:14.000 I should put on some... I went fishing all day today off the coast of Long Island.
00:06:20.000 Taco music.
00:06:23.000 This is really good.
00:06:25.000 Right?
00:06:26.000 What's the white stuff? 0.99
00:06:26.000 That better not be cum. 0.99
00:06:28.000 It's cum. 0.99
00:06:29.000 Ryan! 0.99
00:06:30.000 Not again, right?
00:06:32.000 No, it's crema.
00:06:36.000 What's that?
00:06:37.000 Just like a Mexican sour cream.
00:06:43.000 It's really good, but you can't really go wrong with beer batters, right?
00:06:49.000 I use the king of all beer batters.
00:06:51.000 What's that?
00:06:52.000 Budweiser.
00:06:54.000 Oh.
00:06:56.000 Mmm.
00:06:58.000 Garnish with a little bit of radish on there.
00:07:04.000 This doesn't make for a very good radio.
00:07:10.000 No, I'm good.
00:07:12.000 I'm gonna go in here.
00:07:12.000 Don't do that.
00:07:15.000 I sent some pictures of the fish trip today. 0.99
00:07:17.000 This is black people's food.
00:07:19.000 I was fishing off the coast of Long Island and there was boats that had been rented. 0.92
00:07:24.000 I think it's $45 for four hours.
00:07:27.000 And they take you on these big party boats, they give you a rob.
00:07:30.000 And the beauty of this fish, porgy, oh, I should've played Georgie Porgy.
00:07:36.000 I love you, porgy.
00:07:38.000 Don't let him take, is that Nina Simone? 0.99
00:07:42.000 And the beauty of porgies is, there's no real limit.
00:07:46.000 Like, you can have 40.
00:07:47.000 Now, they're not a very meaty fish.
00:07:50.000 I'll show you the batter, I'll show you my prize.
00:07:53.000 And that was six 10 to 11 inchers.
00:07:57.000 And when I say an 11 inch, I mean like from the lips to the very, very end of the tail. 0.85
00:08:01.000 Um, so what these black guys do is they, they catch them all. 1.00
00:08:06.000 Then they just descale them, chop the head off and fry all of that. 0.99
00:08:10.000 And then they pick away at it. 0.73
00:08:12.000 This guy was explaining to me, he's like, excuse the imminent racism, but this is cops in the Bronx. 0.98
00:08:18.000 There's something about black people, they like picking at stuff. 1.00
00:08:21.000 He wasn't trying to be offensive. 0.99
00:08:23.000 He was being nice.
00:08:24.000 And he's like, they love chicken.
00:08:27.000 I don't like that.
00:08:29.000 I like steak.
00:08:30.000 I like when you get the food and it's there.
00:08:33.000 But they like picking away at stuff.
00:08:36.000 Like this, I had to have it...
00:08:40.000 Filleted, and then he took the spines out.
00:08:42.000 Like, go back to that video you were gonna show.
00:08:45.000 You see how little meat you get?
00:08:46.000 Yeah.
00:08:53.000 We let him handle you, okay?
00:08:55.000 I mean, it's nothing.
00:08:58.000 And that still has to be de-skinned, that piece he just took off. 0.77
00:09:02.000 And then it still has to get de-boned, like the spine part taken out.
00:09:07.000 So black people just have the whole bottom half of that. 1.00
00:09:11.000 And then I guess with the knife, you pick away the meat from the bones. 0.99
00:09:17.000 Hey, we're all different.
00:09:18.000 Different cultural tendencies.
00:09:22.000 But yeah, I did that all day today.
00:09:24.000 Boy, it was fun.
00:09:25.000 You have a sinker with a worm, and we had this worm with pincers on it, and we had blood worms too.
00:09:31.000 And then a clam.
00:09:35.000 Guess how much a little container of clam bait was?
00:09:39.000 Four bucks.
00:09:40.000 $13.
00:09:41.000 Jeez.
00:09:43.000 That's a robin fish.
00:09:44.000 Most fishermen just kill those because they don't have any natural predators.
00:09:48.000 They're too spiky.
00:09:50.000 And so they just eat all the babies and they ruin fishing for everyone.
00:09:53.000 So you catch that, you chop his, you open up his guts and you throw him back in. 0.98
00:10:00.000 What else do you got there?
00:10:00.000 That's a big fin.
00:10:02.000 Do they breach the water?
00:10:03.000 That's what I asked.
00:10:04.000 Do those fly? 0.99
00:10:05.000 No, they don't fucking fly. 0.98
00:10:07.000 I was like, well, I don't know. 0.97
00:10:11.000 What else you got there?
00:10:11.000 From our fun day.
00:10:15.000 Let's see.
00:10:19.000 This is Barry Beckett, my fishing buddy.
00:10:25.000 So he bleeds them first.
00:10:27.000 So we keep them in that little well, so they stay fresh.
00:10:30.000 Then we get to our destination to... to... to... whatever you call them. 0.81
00:10:36.000 Uh... Stab them?
00:10:38.000 What do you call it when you get the meat off? 0.98
00:10:40.000 Filet-em?
00:10:40.000 Filet-em?
00:10:41.000 Or... there's a better word for them, I'm sure.
00:10:43.000 I forgot it.
00:10:44.000 Anyway, you bleed them out, and that makes it... it makes it better.
00:10:47.000 So you let them swim around there in the blood for a bit.
00:10:49.000 They don't really die. 0.98
00:10:53.000 Hey Jihadists, if you're out there trying to convert fish, and you want to smite ye above their necks, that's not going to kill them. 0.99
00:11:03.000 Keep going. 0.99
00:11:03.000 It does hurt though, right? 0.99
00:11:06.000 This poor guy?
00:11:06.000 I'm sure it's wildly uncomfortable.
00:11:09.000 Keep showing fishing picks, fucklips! 0.99
00:11:12.000 I keep opening this up and... 0.99
00:11:14.000 Well, you learn to work preview. 0.99
00:11:17.000 Yeah, previews can be a bitch sometimes. 0.95
00:11:19.000 All right, so we got those. 0.98
00:11:21.000 Yep.
00:11:23.000 We got those.
00:11:24.000 And you just drag them onto the app.
00:11:28.000 There we go.
00:11:29.000 That's his boat.
00:11:30.000 You know, these boats that you see, these wheeler boats, they're like used or they can be 90 grand.
00:11:35.000 Oof. 0.99
00:11:38.000 That's fucking expensive. 0.99
00:11:39.000 What's that little blue thing there? 0.99
00:11:41.000 That's just for, it's for your drink and then some bric-a-brac like a lure or something like that.
00:11:47.000 Keep going.
00:11:49.000 Okay, Ryan, come on, dude.
00:11:51.000 We can see your whole background there.
00:11:54.000 What are you doing?
00:11:56.000 Every time I try to open it, it doesn't work.
00:11:58.000 Same thing with last time.
00:11:58.000 Remember last time?
00:12:00.000 Well, figure out a way to do it where it's not annoying to everyone in the world.
00:12:07.000 There's a crab?
00:12:08.000 You should have seen his weird little face.
00:12:10.000 Zoom in on him.
00:12:12.000 Not Barry, but the crab.
00:12:13.000 T-minus.
00:12:17.000 Oh, that's me.
00:12:20.000 Look at that.
00:12:21.000 He's got a weird little, you can't really see it there, but he's got a weird little beak.
00:12:24.000 A snout.
00:12:25.000 Yeah, it's got a tiny little mouth. 0.99
00:12:28.000 That seems like a shitty design. 0.98
00:12:30.000 I think God sometimes looks at some of his work and just goes, pfft. 1.00
00:12:34.000 That one sucks. 0.99
00:12:36.000 Is it an edible fish? 0.99
00:12:38.000 A crab?
00:12:39.000 I don't think so, no.
00:12:41.000 There he is again.
00:12:42.000 Let's speed this up, please.
00:12:43.000 A little slideshow.
00:12:46.000 Now you're showing everyone all the pictures.
00:12:51.000 Come on, we're killing the momentum.
00:12:52.000 That's either a flounder or a fluke.
00:12:57.000 I'm not sure which.
00:12:58.000 Those have to be like 13 inches before you can keep them.
00:13:02.000 Next.
00:13:02.000 Both eyes on one side.
00:13:04.000 Thanks, Ryan.
00:13:06.000 We've already seen that.
00:13:09.000 We've seen that.
00:13:13.000 So that's what I got from six 10 inchers. 0.99
00:13:18.000 And then show the pile of beer battered shit that you had on your stove. 0.99
00:13:26.000 You sent that to me, right? 0.99
00:13:27.000 Yeah, I emailed it to you.
00:13:28.000 Okay.
00:13:30.000 So I brought it all over to Ryan's and I said, I'm going into the studio, meet me later and bring tacos or we will warm them up at the studio.
00:13:41.000 And, uh, that's what we did.
00:13:44.000 And yeah, I don't think I have that one.
00:13:48.000 I think I sent it to you very recently.
00:13:52.000 It would be in your recent sends.
00:13:54.000 Sometimes I accidentally send these to myself, though.
00:13:56.000 The last one I got was the Compound Boss' tweet.
00:14:01.000 Okay.
00:14:01.000 No, it was before that, for sure.
00:14:07.000 Tweet, tweet.
00:14:08.000 It's called Beer.
00:14:08.000 I'm sending it to you now.
00:14:10.000 Gotcha.
00:14:13.000 But yeah, it turned out delicious.
00:14:15.000 It came out real good.
00:14:17.000 Now, I'm dubious of beer-battered anything. 0.99
00:14:20.000 Like, couldn't this be beer-battered dog shit, and we'd be talking about how yummy it is? 0.99
00:14:24.000 Possibly. 0.99
00:14:25.000 I believe the fish has a good amount of, like, innate flavor, though.
00:14:29.000 Yeah.
00:14:30.000 You can definitely tell what's just batter and what's just not. 0.76
00:14:32.000 Well, the black dudes were sure digging them. 1.00
00:14:34.000 We ended up just following their boat around. 0.55
00:14:39.000 Mmm.
00:14:41.000 Yeah, and then you got some cabbage, finely chopped, tossed in lime juice.
00:14:46.000 So how did you prepare that beer batter?
00:14:48.000 How does that work?
00:14:49.000 Explain that to the folks at home.
00:14:50.000 It's an easy little recipe there with flour, cornstarch, salt, chili powder, beer, and one egg.
00:15:00.000 And then you make the dry stuff, where you just flour, really just flour, and some salt and pepper.
00:15:10.000 Okay.
00:15:11.000 And then you, uh, you know, you take them, you put them in the flour, then you put them in the batter, and then you fry them.
00:15:18.000 It's really nice.
00:15:21.000 I've never cooked porgy before.
00:15:22.000 Don't you double dip them?
00:15:23.000 No, some people like to double dip.
00:15:24.000 I don't like to double dip.
00:15:27.000 So you take the fish.
00:15:28.000 Then you get too much breading on there.
00:15:30.000 You put it in flour, you get it all floury both sides, right?
00:15:34.000 And then you submerge it in the batter.
00:15:37.000 Mm-hmm.
00:15:37.000 And then you put it in the oil.
00:15:39.000 How much oil do you have?
00:15:40.000 How deep?
00:15:41.000 Like two or three inches.
00:15:43.000 Oh, really deep?
00:15:43.000 Like a deep fryer?
00:15:43.000 A lot of oil.
00:15:44.000 Mm-hmm.
00:15:45.000 I use my cast iron skillet, and then you just let that get real hot.
00:15:50.000 Don't put more than like six pieces in there, otherwise it'll cool the whole temperature down.
00:15:54.000 Oh, I see.
00:15:55.000 Mm-hmm.
00:15:56.000 And then what are you gonna do with that oil now?
00:15:59.000 You gotta put it in a Ziploc bag when it's completely cold, and then you throw it away.
00:16:05.000 This has been a long intro to get to tactical walls.
00:16:09.000 Tacticalwalls.com, 20% off for everyone who uses a promo code Gavin.
00:16:15.000 We've been building the new studio and I set up my Tactical Walls shelf there on the wall.
00:16:22.000 And again, the main thing they do is you can display your gun collection in a beautiful, easy to grab, fun way.
00:16:30.000 But they do a million different things.
00:16:32.000 The guy is a vet, very handy.
00:16:37.000 They made us that cool shelf that I put up in the new studio.
00:16:41.000 Places to hide your gun equipment in cool secret spots.
00:16:47.000 They also do stuff just for organizing your office and organizing your bike, your sports equipment.
00:16:53.000 Go to the site tacticalwalls.com and just peruse it.
00:16:58.000 And I guarantee you'll see something you like 20% off.
00:17:00.000 And you're supporting Patriots who support us.
00:17:03.000 Look at that.
00:17:03.000 Look at that variety.
00:17:06.000 So you're supporting someone who busts their ass, keeping America great, war vets who put their life on the line for this country, and you're helping them develop their business and help employ Americans during the pandemic. 0.94
00:17:20.000 I mean, it's win-win-win. 0.97
00:17:22.000 I can't see a scenario where going to tacticalwalls.com and using the promo code GAVIN doesn't benefit you and the country and this show.
00:17:32.000 So please do.
00:17:33.000 Also, a little note on yesterday's, our last show's sponsor, Nita Fashions.
00:17:38.000 I don't think I made it clear enough.
00:17:40.000 Maybe you can put this on the screen.
00:17:43.000 They don't go around the world anymore, or they won't until this pandemic ends.
00:17:47.000 So you contact them and set up an appointment.
00:17:51.000 So that's info at nitafashions.com.
00:17:57.000 No, no, that's an email address we want you to mail it to.
00:18:02.000 Info at netafashions.com.
00:18:05.000 Maybe it's on the site.
00:18:05.000 See if you can find it under contact.
00:18:07.000 Yeah, contact does.
00:18:10.000 Sales?
00:18:11.000 No, it's info we want.
00:18:14.000 So, I don't know.
00:18:16.000 Can you type that out and make it appear on the screen nice and big somehow?
00:18:18.000 I can put in post.
00:18:20.000 Definitely put in post.
00:18:21.000 Okay, well we're live now.
00:18:23.000 So just type it out in your email.
00:18:24.000 Go to your email and make an email that says info at netafashions.com.
00:18:31.000 See, this is why I was trying to grab you well before the show started.
00:18:38.000 So you go there, you make an appointment, all you need is a measuring thing, right?
00:18:45.000 You know, if you don't have that tailor's tape that has the numbers on it, like the tailor measuring thing-a-ma-doodle, you could just take a string, you do the measurement, and then you go to a measuring tape and you stretch it out.
00:19:01.000 You know what I mean?
00:19:03.000 So any shoelace, you go around the neck as he tells you to, you pinch that, then you undo it and then you lay it out on a measuring tape.
00:19:10.000 Anyway, you get all your measurements, you get your, the range of prices is great too.
00:19:15.000 You can get a $60 shirt that fits you perfectly, like pajamas.
00:19:19.000 You know how uncomfortable you are when you do the top button with your tie?
00:19:23.000 This is nothing.
00:19:24.000 If you can get your finger in there, it's all your suits become PJs overnight.
00:19:28.000 And that helps you in meetings. 0.99
00:19:30.000 It helps you be more successful at work because you're comfortable and you're not sitting there going, having a panic attack, dreaming of getting home and putting on your fucking sweatpants. 0.99
00:19:43.000 So, we got that done. 0.99
00:19:45.000 We've featured everything about the fish. 0.98
00:19:46.000 Man, I am fucking stuffed even from those few bites. 0.99
00:19:49.000 Really? 0.99
00:19:49.000 Oh, dang. 0.99
00:19:52.000 That's enough for Need of Fashions. 0.93
00:19:54.000 They're doing every second week.
00:19:56.000 I think we can start the show now.
00:19:58.000 Right?
00:20:00.000 We've done some promos.
00:20:01.000 We explained why there's a plate of fish tacos on the thing.
00:20:05.000 I showed you all the pictures of the fish.
00:20:07.000 Wait, did you show the picture of me holding my fish?
00:20:09.000 No, you didn't.
00:20:10.000 No. 0.99
00:20:11.000 Dude, you gotta figure out a way to fucking handle pictures. 0.99
00:20:15.000 Like, it's sub-1950s here. 0.99
00:20:17.000 Wait, we did see that.
00:20:19.000 You have the picture of me holding up my... Yeah, I remember that.
00:20:23.000 That?
00:20:24.000 You showed that one?
00:20:25.000 The zoom isn't right, but yes.
00:20:29.000 Well, I must have been looking down.
00:20:31.000 That's a good trick, by the way, when someone's photographing your fish.
00:20:35.000 You put it close to the camera.
00:20:37.000 You've got the face on the fish cropped.
00:20:41.000 Yeah, there we go.
00:20:42.000 He looks kind of freaked out, doesn't he?
00:20:44.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:20:45.000 Black people eat those by the dozens. 0.99
00:20:49.000 Pretty damn good. 0.99
00:20:50.000 Yeah, delicious. 0.79
00:20:51.000 The chicken of the sea.
00:20:54.000 All right.
00:20:57.000 This is a totally random thing that my buddy sent me.
00:21:01.000 And he was like, how is this hunting?
00:21:06.000 So it's an ad from some Chinese company.
00:21:09.000 This is a picture I sent you.
00:21:12.000 No, no, no.
00:21:15.000 Yep.
00:21:18.000 And it's obviously, you know, foreigners doing stuff, and they're talking about how great this flashlight is. 0.64
00:21:23.000 Lighting is kind of weird, right?
00:21:25.000 You sit on a car and you can, I guess, see the sky better?
00:21:28.000 No, you can't.
00:21:29.000 There's no flashlight that lights up the universe.
00:21:32.000 Walk?
00:21:32.000 Well, you mean walking, but okay.
00:21:35.000 Sold.
00:21:35.000 Gotcha.
00:21:36.000 Camping?
00:21:37.000 That looks amazing.
00:21:39.000 Camping is really cool.
00:21:40.000 Wow, you really lit up that place.
00:21:42.000 You can set up your tent in the dark.
00:21:44.000 Expedition, that looks more like spelunking, but sure, you could argue that's an expedition. 0.93
00:21:49.000 And then fishing, sure.
00:21:51.000 You already said camping, but okay.
00:21:53.000 Reading, yep.
00:21:53.000 Night walk, that's similar to walking.
00:21:55.000 And then the reason I brought this to the show, to your attention, is obviously human hunting. 0.99
00:22:02.000 What the fuck are you talking about, dude? 0.99
00:22:05.000 Hunting? 1.00
00:22:06.000 What are you hunting?
00:22:08.000 What's down the stairs?
00:22:10.000 A bear?
00:22:11.000 There's no animals down there!
00:22:12.000 And he doesn't have a weapon! 0.99
00:22:17.000 So I guess he's looking for people to kill. 1.00
00:22:20.000 It's a rapist. 1.00
00:22:22.000 Raping it should say. 1.00
00:22:24.000 This is a great raping flashlight. 1.00
00:22:26.000 Like woman pussy hunting. 1.00
00:22:28.000 I mean what else could that be? 0.99
00:22:30.000 There's no weapon involved and it's not a place animals go. 0.98
00:22:35.000 Anyway, cute ad for raping. 1.00
00:22:39.000 Also, and so this is the new thing at the beginning of the show is just random clown world news and silly things I've noticed on the World Wide Web. 0.98
00:22:49.000 Uh, Justin Trudeau, this is one too, has a shitty HP computer.
00:22:56.000 He probably has to use it because everyone in the government uses it and they have protocol. 0.96
00:23:00.000 But it's not cool, an HP or whatever it is, a Google Chrome pad or some shit.
00:23:05.000 But maybe you need all the different ports.
00:23:07.000 I don't have notes.
00:23:09.000 What?
00:23:10.000 You didn't get the notes?
00:23:13.000 Well, when you said you didn't have the opening song, I assumed that you had the notes, but you couldn't find the opening song.
00:23:20.000 Okay.
00:23:21.000 Well.
00:23:22.000 This is a problem.
00:23:23.000 It's in the scent?
00:23:25.000 No, it was never scent.
00:23:26.000 I didn't put scent.
00:23:28.000 So here's me making a mistake now.
00:23:31.000 The flashlight would have come in handy for this.
00:23:33.000 Although you could have said, hey, I didn't get the notes for today's show.
00:23:37.000 Sometimes live we don't do notes.
00:23:38.000 That's why I was like, oh.
00:23:39.000 We're going note-less.
00:23:41.000 So what he does is he puts, uh, try to just get to the picture next time and not show everyone the whole process.
00:23:52.000 You get me?
00:23:53.000 Like, even that's TMI.
00:23:56.000 But you can tell by the number of ports on the side that it's not any kind of MacBook. 0.97
00:24:04.000 They never have fucking ports, which is a very annoying feature. 0.97
00:24:07.000 I can't believe they do that. 1.00
00:24:08.000 I don't know why the fuck they do that. 1.00
00:24:10.000 Is that cool? 1.00
00:24:12.000 And so he sticks a fucking Apple sticker on it. 0.99
00:24:15.000 And you can see the HP through the Apple. 1.00
00:24:17.000 Oh yeah! 1.00
00:24:21.000 What an imbecile! 1.00
00:24:23.000 Why would you do that? 1.00
00:24:26.000 Like I can see doing that if you're 12 and you live in a trailer park and you're embarrassed that you're poor and all the kids have apples and you don't want to be known as the poor kid so you put a sticker on but you're gonna get made fun of.
00:24:38.000 You know what that reminds me?
00:24:39.000 Jump Ahead to 1-7.
00:24:42.000 Remember the commercial that was big?
00:24:43.000 I think it's gone viral since I saw you last but he swirls around and someone asks him about Israel.
00:24:51.000 And he says, yeah, you can ask that question if I can run you over first.
00:24:57.000 And then he goes, I'm just kidding.
00:24:58.000 Just kidding.
00:24:59.000 Which, of course, no matter what Trump had said, if he made that joke, we wouldn't be hearing the end of it for about a week.
00:25:06.000 But someone pointed this out.
00:25:08.000 He's not driving.
00:25:13.000 Can he drive?
00:25:15.000 Fake election, fake news, and now fake driving.
00:25:18.000 And click on the next one because you can see they show, look.
00:25:23.000 What?
00:25:23.000 Oh.
00:25:25.000 There he is. 1.00
00:25:28.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:25:30.000 We have a president who's running the free world. 1.00
00:25:34.000 He is the head of the most powerful machine on earth, America. 1.00
00:25:40.000 And he can't drive a fucking car in an empty parking lot. 1.00
00:25:44.000 That's pretty symbolic. 1.00
00:25:45.000 Isn't that amazing?
00:25:46.000 He's playing the passenger but in the driver's seat. 1.00
00:25:50.000 What is that stupid car? 1.00
00:25:51.000 I don't fucking know. 1.00
00:25:52.000 What is that dumb paint job? 1.00
00:25:53.000 Looks like that Zambian car that that kid made. 0.99
00:25:56.000 It looks like a bad guy from Batman.
00:25:59.000 Is that Car-Man?
00:26:02.000 Get it out of here. 1.00
00:26:03.000 Stupid paint job. 1.00
00:26:04.000 I built a car. 1.00
00:26:07.000 For the President of the United States.
00:26:13.000 Here's a funny story.
00:26:18.000 Today I learned that a man is suing TIL.
00:26:22.000 I asked Ryan what TIL is, he didn't know.
00:26:24.000 Correct.
00:26:25.000 He's supposed to be grunge.
00:26:27.000 He's supposed to be a young man.
00:26:29.000 In young vernacular, TIL is, today I learned, a Virginia man sued himself for $5 million, claiming that he violated his own civil rights by committing crimes and being sent to prison.
00:26:40.000 He asked the state to pay the $5 million on his behalf, since he was a ward of the state.
00:26:48.000 Dude, if that works, that is pretty awesome.
00:26:51.000 Isn't it?
00:26:53.000 Is there more to it than that?
00:26:58.000 No, looks like not.
00:27:02.000 Okay, so what's the Reddit?
00:27:03.000 What's the link?
00:27:05.000 Yeah, there we go.
00:27:07.000 Auto-litigation.
00:27:11.000 That's a thing.
00:27:13.000 In 1995, Robert Lee Brock, a guest at the Indian Creek Correctional Center in Virginia, sued himself in federal court for violating his own rights.
00:27:21.000 I caused myself to violate my religious beliefs.
00:27:25.000 Unsurprisingly, Brock turns out to be one of those inmates who files frivolous lawsuits repeatedly until a court finally tells him to cut it out, but normally those lawsuits are aimed at a laundry list of sometimes celebrity defendants.
00:27:36.000 That's probably why the judge, who dismissed this case, noted that he had presented an innovative approach to civil rights litigation.
00:27:43.000 The one drawback being that it was totally ludicrous.
00:27:50.000 Also, very important news.
00:27:51.000 I'm sure you're familiar with fear.
00:27:53.000 That's too many of us!
00:27:54.000 That's too many of us!
00:27:54.000 That's too many!
00:27:55.000 That's too many of us!
00:27:56.000 That's too many!
00:27:56.000 Let's start a war!
00:27:58.000 Remember that guy?
00:27:59.000 They were on SNL.
00:28:00.000 John Joseph of the Cro-Mags was at that show. 0.99
00:28:02.000 I think Ian McKay from Minor Threat was there, too, in the audience at SNL. 1.00
00:28:07.000 And they told him to fuck shit up and be punkers, and they did. 1.00
00:28:11.000 They wrecked the place. 1.00
00:28:12.000 They wrecked NBC Studios.
00:28:14.000 Great time.
00:28:14.000 Lee Ving was awesome.
00:28:16.000 But actually, don't show this picture.
00:28:18.000 Just look up fear Lee Ving.
00:28:21.000 Or fear SNL would be good too.
00:28:26.000 No, that's not it.
00:28:26.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:28:28.000 That's right.
00:28:29.000 No, don't show that.
00:28:31.000 Show fear on SNL.
00:28:33.000 It's in the icon in the top left, Ryan.
00:28:35.000 That's what I clicked.
00:28:37.000 Oh, so they just used a shitty thumbnail. 1.00
00:28:39.000 Yep, those sons of bitches. 1.00
00:28:41.000 Fuckers. 1.00
00:28:42.000 That, to me, I know this was like the 80s, I guess, but it seems to me to be very recent. 1.00
00:28:54.000 John Joseph and Ian McKay are in the audience right now.
00:29:04.000 Hey, he's trans!
00:29:13.000 How many stage dive when there's six people in the crowd? 0.89
00:29:16.000 Okay, there he is.
00:29:23.000 Rockin' out. 0.99
00:29:26.000 And then I saw this picture from the other day and I went, holy shit, am I old. 0.98
00:29:30.000 Look at 1-4. 0.98
00:29:32.000 That's him today.
00:29:36.000 Pretty brutal, huh?
00:29:37.000 He's the one on the left, right?
00:29:39.000 No, the one on the right.
00:29:42.000 I can't even see that first guy in there.
00:29:44.000 Yes you can, the nose.
00:29:47.000 Whoa.
00:29:54.000 Time is officially passing.
00:29:58.000 Also in the news, very important, I sent you a lizard pic.
00:30:02.000 And it's a lizard hanging out with a leaf.
00:30:07.000 Now, I don't know what song you hear when you see this picture, but I hear Allison.
00:30:15.000 Who does that one? 1.00
00:30:17.000 It's 1-1 in the notes.
00:30:19.000 Oh.
00:30:22.000 Now look at this picture and listen to this song.
00:30:29.000 Don't lizards have cocks? 1.00
00:30:34.000 It kind of looks like Elvis Costello.
00:30:39.000 A little bit.
00:30:45.000 How did they do that?
00:30:46.000 Is that just luck or is that a dead lizard that someone got creative with? 1.00
00:30:52.000 Where's your dick, dude? 1.00
00:30:55.000 Maybe unsheathes. 1.00
00:30:58.000 Don't worry, we're gonna have some substance soon.
00:31:00.000 Let's jump into a TV segment.
00:31:04.000 Friends had a reunion and Matthew Perry was drunk for it.
00:31:11.000 Oh, this is him.
00:31:12.000 He's now marketing shirts.
00:31:14.000 White hoodies based on how wasted he was.
00:31:17.000 Are they broke?
00:31:19.000 Those people?
00:31:20.000 There he is.
00:31:21.000 Could I be more me?
00:31:23.000 He's looking pretty Lee Ving-y there himself.
00:31:26.000 Somewhat turgid.
00:31:29.000 You know, that's the problem with those boozers. 0.99
00:31:31.000 We get a little flushed.
00:31:33.000 We look like Pillsbury Doughboy.
00:31:35.000 Looks like Harlan Williams.
00:31:37.000 Click on the video though.
00:31:41.000 So jump ahead to where he's sitting there.
00:31:44.000 Yeah, there you go.
00:31:46.000 Go back a bit.
00:31:46.000 It's nice to reach out and touch base and have a call.
00:31:51.000 I mean, I'm speaking for myself because I'm the only one that doesn't live in California.
00:31:56.000 I live in New York.
00:31:58.000 So that's been nice.
00:31:59.000 While being a really close-knit group, we don't see each other, all six of us, a lot.
00:32:05.000 What does that remind me of?
00:32:10.000 I don't know.
00:32:11.000 A lot.
00:32:11.000 We don't see each other.
00:32:13.000 A lot.
00:32:14.000 Oh, it kind of reminds me of Martin Short where he's, I'm not that strong of a swimmer, but that's not, that's totally different.
00:32:21.000 I don't know why it reminded me of that.
00:32:24.000 It's just that Martin Short's characters are usually that sort of out of it.
00:32:31.000 Oh my god, that just reminded me of something I gotta send you.
00:32:34.000 Show him talking again and tell me that's not a Martin Short character.
00:32:49.000 Wait, what are you doing?
00:32:50.000 Did they not let him speak very much?
00:32:51.000 He talks very little in it.
00:32:52.000 Yeah, it's almost like they knew he was bummed.
00:32:53.000 Very, very, very sexual.
00:33:13.000 Okay, you know what that was?
00:33:14.000 They said, so we're like siblings.
00:33:16.000 And he goes, very, very, very sexual.
00:33:19.000 Yes.
00:33:20.000 You mean like siblings?
00:33:22.000 Wait, go back.
00:33:23.000 It's really honest and it's really... What are you doing, Ryan?
00:33:25.000 You're driving me crazy. 0.96
00:33:26.000 Very sexual. 0.99
00:33:27.000 Go before that.
00:33:29.000 I would assume sisters are like... Like siblings, I would say. 0.99
00:33:32.000 Yeah.
00:33:33.000 Like siblings.
00:33:34.000 Very supportive. 0.76
00:33:35.000 Very, very, very sexual.
00:33:38.000 Yeah.
00:33:40.000 What is Joey now Armando Sante?
00:33:42.000 At its core. 1.00
00:33:44.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:33:44.000 He's like an old Italian Hollywood guy now? 1.00
00:33:47.000 Yeah.
00:33:49.000 Dude, talk about embarrassing.
00:33:51.000 This guy comes to my gym.
00:33:53.000 He's new.
00:33:54.000 I've told you about him before, but I just can't get over it.
00:33:57.000 He's still coming in.
00:33:59.000 First thing he does is set up the auxiliary with the Bluetooth and gets his mix on and plays himself.
00:34:07.000 Himself doing trap music. 1.00
00:34:10.000 That sucks. 1.00
00:34:10.000 His song. 1.00
00:34:11.000 His band.
00:34:12.000 And then he's sitting there skipping rope or whatever in an area, in the weight area, which is not where you skip rope.
00:34:18.000 And there he is just grooving to himself.
00:34:21.000 Is it good?
00:34:22.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:34:23.000 I can't tell with that shit. 1.00
00:34:24.000 Yeah, true. 1.00
00:34:26.000 It sounds like all the other stuff, that's probably a good sign, right?
00:34:29.000 Right.
00:34:30.000 Yeah.
00:34:30.000 Let's play it safe.
00:34:31.000 You can do that once.
00:34:33.000 If you've been there for four months, and your band just has a new demo, you can pop it in the cassette player and be like, hey guys, sorry to bug everyone, but check out my new song.
00:34:42.000 Even that's kind of whack.
00:34:44.000 Right, it is whack.
00:34:44.000 Like, I feel like I would just directly email the person and say, hey, what do you think of this track?
00:34:50.000 Is he announcing it like, hey guys, this is me, or that's what gets him pumped up?
00:34:53.000 It's for him.
00:34:55.000 I think he's just, he can't have a dad.
00:34:58.000 That's the whole origin of, aren't you embarrassed?
00:35:02.000 Is these people with no dad.
00:35:03.000 So dads have never said, stop that, click, turn it off.
00:35:07.000 So he's just like, he's behaving the way you would behave if you were just alone on a desert island.
00:35:13.000 So yeah, it's all for him.
00:35:15.000 But if someone's impressed by it, yeah, sure, you should be.
00:35:18.000 It's really good.
00:35:19.000 But check out this thing I just sent you.
00:35:21.000 And then, you know what we'll do?
00:35:24.000 Yeah, we'll talk about TV shows and then we'll leave the free zone and get serious.
00:35:29.000 Okay, this is Ed Asner.
00:35:31.000 You're a little young to know who Ed Asner is.
00:35:33.000 He was in some Curb Your Enthusiasms, but he was in the Mary Tyler Moore Show.
00:35:39.000 I think he was the editor of the newspaper she worked at.
00:35:42.000 He was a grumpy old guy, but his background's comedy, straight man kind of comedy.
00:35:46.000 He's not very funny.
00:35:47.000 This is SCTV.
00:35:51.000 Which was a popular Canadian sketch comedy show that would lampoon terrible entertainment.
00:35:57.000 This is real, but it is as bad as an SCTV parody. 0.98
00:36:02.000 I cannot fucking believe this exists. 0.97
00:36:03.000 This is Ed Asner doing a one-man show about his prostate cancer scare. 0.99
00:36:10.000 Take it away, Ed.
00:36:11.000 Ed Asner in A Man and His Prostate.
00:36:16.000 As you have probably guessed from the title, this play concerns my prostate.
00:36:20.000 Picture me in an examination room. 1.00
00:36:23.000 Before I knew what was happening, Dr. Carini had his hand in a latex glove and one finger deep up my ass. 1.00
00:36:33.000 Asked to describe my symptoms. 0.99
00:36:36.000 I had to do so by combining English and Marcel Marceau.
00:36:41.000 To indicate that I was getting up nine times a night to take a piss, I went... Why couldn't he talk?
00:36:59.000 I was breaking wind in ways previously unheard of by the human ear.
00:37:05.000 There was a sonic boom, another brought to mind an elderly Vietnamese woman slurping her noodles. 0.98
00:37:14.000 Those are fake laugh tracks.
00:37:22.000 Look at the people in the audience.
00:37:25.000 Yeah, the audio is they're laughing hysterically.
00:37:40.000 Look at the one guy.
00:37:41.000 So she's amused.
00:37:44.000 He's like, what?
00:37:45.000 He doesn't know why he's there. 1.00
00:37:47.000 That guy is like, I better be fucking her tonight. 1.00
00:37:50.000 I'm going to be really mad. 1.00
00:37:51.000 He's almost pissed.
00:37:52.000 And then that guy, the guy in the glasses is like, I can see how that's amusing.
00:37:56.000 Yeah.
00:37:57.000 It takes some thinking.
00:38:01.000 There it is.
00:38:03.000 That's the one I was looking for.
00:38:04.000 I don't remember seeing one smile in there.
00:38:05.000 There could be.
00:38:07.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:38:08.000 Something fishy is going on here.
00:38:10.000 Because that's the same group.
00:38:13.000 And you can see at the top it sort of peters out.
00:38:16.000 Yeah.
00:38:16.000 Wait, is that all?
00:38:17.000 I think there might be 60 people there.
00:38:21.000 In total total.
00:38:22.000 And it's all his friends. 1.00
00:38:25.000 Oy vey, what a fucking embarrassment. 1.00
00:38:27.000 Is this new? 1.00
00:38:28.000 That's from last year.
00:38:30.000 Awesome.
00:38:32.000 Poor guy.
00:38:34.000 He's doing a one-man show but he can't stand or remember very long or memorize anything so he's just reading from some notes.
00:38:43.000 It's a book reading.
00:38:45.000 Yeah nice one-man show.
00:38:51.000 Speaking of
00:38:54.000 TV.
00:38:56.000 I cannot get enough of my new hit show, Secrets Uncovered on Oxygen. 0.98
00:39:01.000 I mean, I've always said fiction is for fags. 1.00
00:39:04.000 You go to see these things. 0.96
00:39:05.000 I saw this one the other night called Plot Twist about this guy, drama club guy, and they find out he was using the ATM of some dead dude.
00:39:18.000 And you go, what was all that about?
00:39:20.000 Well, we didn't know he was dead at the time and, uh, uh, he killed his girlfriend and that's, it's, they're really long.
00:39:28.000 They can be like an hour and a half.
00:39:30.000 So they take, you got to do them in small dose, I mean, in dosages.
00:39:35.000 But, uh, you're watching and you're like, oh, I get it.
00:39:37.000 Some ex-Marine, uh, or sorry, some Marine, no, no, it's just thinking of the ex-Marine. 1.00
00:39:41.000 Some Marine, uh, wanted to fuck his girlfriend. 1.00
00:39:44.000 She had broken up with him, so he killed her and then he went on the run. 1.00
00:39:48.000 Got it.
00:39:48.000 Okay.
00:39:49.000 Wait, we're only a third in?
00:39:51.000 Then you find out. 0.91
00:39:53.000 No, some psycho drama club kid wanted his ATM card so he killed him. 0.94
00:39:59.000 Then he killed the guy's girlfriend to make it look like
00:40:03.000 The first thing I just said happened and he sawed off the head of the Marine and after stabbing literally shooting him in the back of the head and cut him into pieces and then threw the pieces into various places all over town and you go wow that's not even close to what I thought at the beginning.
00:40:21.000 Then there's a third act
00:40:24.000 And you find out the girlfriend, um, this is another great one.
00:40:28.000 I haven't seen this one.
00:40:28.000 I bet it's awesome.
00:40:30.000 The girlfriend had basically brainwashed him into murdering the guy.
00:40:33.000 This is not, that's not the episode, but that's good too, I'm sure.
00:40:37.000 So he ends up doing life.
00:40:39.000 I think he, I think he gets the electric chair.
00:40:41.000 I'm not sure.
00:40:41.000 And then she gets 14 months for accessory to murder.
00:40:46.000 Awesome show.
00:40:46.000 I know I'm a chick.
00:40:48.000 I didn't realize chicks were watching such cool shit. 1.00
00:40:50.000 They do watch a lot of murder stuff. 1.00
00:40:52.000 They love murder stuff.
00:40:53.000 Are you just getting into this for the first time?
00:40:55.000 Yes!
00:40:55.000 Yeah, because I never liked that stuff, but I figure that comes with age maybe.
00:40:59.000 No, I just find it's chick stuff. 1.00
00:41:01.000 It's like sucking dicks. 1.00
00:41:02.000 It's not my cup of tea. 1.00
00:41:03.000 But it is murder and shit. 1.00
00:41:04.000 I just started sucking a dick and went, oh my God, these are delicious. 1.00
00:41:06.000 Where have you been all my life, erect cock? 1.00
00:41:11.000 But it's true. 1.00
00:41:13.000 Now, I tell you what turns me off is that white haired dude whose hair is like this and he reads you a bedtime story and he goes, Claire didn't know.
00:41:24.000 She was gonna find out where her dinner was coming from.
00:41:28.000 Would it be from a friend?
00:41:30.000 Or would it be from a long lost love? 1.00
00:41:33.000 Can you just tell the fucking story and stop reading bedtime shit to me? 1.00
00:41:42.000 But he's an integral part of the show. 1.00
00:41:43.000 He's in at least, I don't know, a third of the episodes.
00:41:48.000 So that's a great show you should check out.
00:41:50.000 Then I also saw these two TLC shows.
00:41:53.000 One was Finding Sister Wives.
00:41:56.000 I'm not sure that's the exact name. 0.99
00:41:57.000 You can just look this shit up on YouTube. 0.96
00:41:59.000 I'm gonna watch them on green screen because they are bizarre. 0.99
00:42:02.000 So finding sister wives you just presume oh it's some weird like Amish whatever Salt Lake City Mormon thing and I don't know that religion I don't know that culture but they've been doing it for generations and it's just weird and none of my beeswax. 0.98
00:42:17.000 Then you watch and you go no they're just normal people who want to have a ton of wives. 1.00
00:42:24.000 What?
00:42:24.000 Oh, she's trying to get citizenship.
00:42:25.000 So she'll marry them and then split. 1.00
00:42:27.000 I was going to publicity school.
00:42:28.000 Eww, that kiss! 0.99
00:42:51.000 So then there's another, there's a black dude who talks about his kingdom and he doesn't, he doesn't, he's anti-gay. 1.00
00:42:58.000 So when the, when the girl that he's interviewing says, I'm a lesbian, I'm bisexual, he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's fucked up. 0.99
00:43:05.000 What? 0.99
00:43:06.000 I assumed you were in this for the orgies, but he's not.
00:43:11.000 Dude, that whole show.
00:43:13.000 Oh, that's him.
00:43:14.000 Wait, is it?
00:43:17.000 This whole show is just a great example of how depraved we've become.
00:43:21.000 What a tangled web we weave when we try to reinvent the wheel.
00:43:26.000 Traditionalism is corny. 0.99
00:43:28.000 Marriage is gay. 0.99
00:43:30.000 I'm not doing it. 0.94
00:43:30.000 I've got a new thing. 0.94
00:43:32.000 And you go, all right, what are you doing?
00:43:33.000 What are you throwing out?
00:43:34.000 What are you replacing our society with? 0.97
00:43:38.000 And then you look at it and you go, oh my God, you're monsters. 1.00
00:43:42.000 You're disgusting, weird monsters. 1.00
00:43:45.000 Ew, look at her touching her toes. 1.00
00:43:47.000 Is that someone filming their TV?
00:43:47.000 That's unlistenable.
00:43:48.000 Okay, so that's a show we gotta get deeper into, Finding Sister Wes. 1.00
00:44:10.000 The dudes are fucking losers. 0.99
00:44:11.000 There's this weird beta dude with a little goatee and he wears a vest and a soft little sweatshirt. 1.00
00:44:17.000 You know those sweatshirts?
00:44:18.000 I hate these sweatshirts where the hood is all thin like sock material.
00:44:22.000 If you're going to wear a hoodie, that's because it's cold out.
00:44:25.000 So you put the big hood up and now you're warm.
00:44:28.000 You're protected from the elements.
00:44:30.000 But these new hoodies where it falls on your head like Darth Vader's boss?
00:44:35.000 Yeah.
00:44:36.000 It's infuriating. 1.00
00:44:38.000 They do suck. 0.99
00:44:39.000 What's it for when there's a slight breeze? 0.99
00:44:42.000 Like when it plummets from 72 degrees to 68 degrees?
00:44:46.000 Is that when you put on your little flim flam?
00:44:51.000 Okay, last show.
00:44:53.000 It's this albino adoption show.
00:44:57.000 Adopting albinism or something?
00:45:00.000 Just look up albino TLC adoption or something.
00:45:04.000 And these people adopt kids.
00:45:06.000 Great!
00:45:07.000 I think it's great that you adopt kids.
00:45:08.000 Thank you for doing that.
00:45:09.000 We don't want them in orphanages.
00:45:11.000 You provided them with a home.
00:45:12.000 You're awesome.
00:45:14.000 And then you go, wait a minute, why are you only adopting albinos?
00:45:18.000 And you think, is this?
00:45:20.000 Like, they're coming across as heroes.
00:45:22.000 Thank you so much for doing this.
00:45:25.000 Um, can you not find it?
00:45:29.000 Hmm.
00:45:30.000 Look up, did I, did you type in albinism?
00:45:33.000 Yeah, that was the first one.
00:45:34.000 Adopting albinism?
00:45:36.000 Oh, true life?
00:45:37.000 I'm an albino?
00:45:38.000 No.
00:45:39.000 No, no.
00:45:39.000 It's on TLC?
00:45:40.000 I'm pretty sure it's on TLC, yeah.
00:45:43.000 I'll find it.
00:45:44.000 It's about adopting albinos?
00:45:45.000 Could it be on Netflix?
00:45:48.000 Hmm, I don't think so.
00:45:49.000 But anyway, say you have six, you adopt six kids, and they're all albinos, save one.
00:45:56.000 Like, I guess the rationale is we want them to be comfortable around other albinos.
00:46:01.000 Look, albinos... I say you're in a house with a hundred albinos. 1.00
00:46:05.000 The second you walk outside, you're a freak. 0.87
00:46:07.000 So, you better get used to it, okay?
00:46:09.000 You can't go out when it's too sunny, you're gonna burn.
00:46:12.000 You look weird.
00:46:12.000 That's them.
00:46:15.000 What's their show called?
00:46:17.000 Born With Albinism.
00:46:19.000 Born With Albinism.
00:46:21.000 So, it gets to the point where they're just collecting them, I think.
00:46:25.000 Whoa.
00:46:27.000 And we're the Grabowskis.
00:46:28.000 And we collect freaks.
00:46:29.000 I don't think I can do anything more than that!
00:46:32.000 We're the Grabowskis!
00:46:34.000 We met at college.
00:46:36.000 We were good friends for about eight months.
00:46:38.000 And then we officially started dating.
00:46:40.000 We got married a year later.
00:46:42.000 Married a year later.
00:46:43.000 Yep, the rest is history.
00:46:46.000 Making pancakes.
00:46:47.000 Making pancakes.
00:46:47.000 Very much.
00:46:48.000 Okay, so that is just- Wait, wait, wait.
00:46:49.000 Stop. 1.00
00:46:50.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:46:51.000 What the fuck were you just doing? 1.00
00:46:52.000 That was not a pancake. 0.99
00:46:53.000 And what were you doing?
00:46:54.000 A little dance with it?
00:46:56.000 Tapping at it?
00:46:57.000 Yeah.
00:46:58.000 What is that?
00:46:58.000 You know.
00:46:59.000 Oh, she's taking an edge off to eat. 0.94
00:47:01.000 Oh.
00:47:02.000 That's her first pancake she's ever made.
00:47:04.000 That's not the physics of a pancake that I'd like to eat.
00:47:06.000 Yeah, what are you doing?
00:47:07.000 Very much.
00:47:10.000 Okay, so that is just with buckwheat flour.
00:47:12.000 It just makes them look kind of gray.
00:47:14.000 Oh, okay.
00:47:15.000 The kids like them?
00:47:17.000 Yeah, they do.
00:47:18.000 Or they've gotten used to them.
00:47:20.000 Okay.
00:47:21.000 Who puts buckwheat in your pancakes? 1.00
00:47:23.000 What a bummer.
00:47:24.000 Why don't you have a wheat chocolate bar while you're at it?
00:47:26.000 Oh wait, sorry, go back.
00:47:29.000 So we had some kids and they died in a horrible electric flash.
00:47:33.000 We have two biological children.
00:47:35.000 Our oldest is Micah and he's 21.
00:47:38.000 And our second oldest is Alex and he is 19.
00:47:41.000 So after we had both of our boys, we did try to have a girl for a while and that didn't work out.
00:47:48.000 So she's got empty nest syndrome. 1.00
00:47:50.000 And we knew that China had so many little girls who were in orphanages, and they told us after the paperwork was submitted that it would be six to eight months before we were matched with a little girl.
00:48:02.000 And so I dreamed of, you know, this little petite, brown-eyed, dark-haired little girl.
00:48:09.000 And I opened my inbox on my email one day and it said, we have a referral for you.
00:48:14.000 Up pops up this child with white hair and pale skin and blue eyes.
00:48:21.000 Uh-oh.
00:48:23.000 No thanks.
00:48:24.000 They just blocked him.
00:48:31.000 That's a tough sell, dude.
00:48:32.000 I mean... 0.94
00:48:34.000 But I get it if they're good Christian souls and they go, okay, this guy's having trouble finding a home, we're not assholes, we'll take him in. 0.86
00:48:42.000 That's cool, we advocate that.
00:48:44.000 It's when you have six more, we start getting curious.
00:48:50.000 And that wasn't the same child that I've been thinking about all this time, but we switched gears.
00:48:56.000 I mean, within moments, we're responding, yes, yes, yes.
00:49:00.000 That's the kind of people we are.
00:49:02.000 Okay, so fine.
00:49:04.000 I'm not telling you to stop.
00:49:05.000 I'm telling them to stop.
00:49:06.000 Fine.
00:49:07.000 You got it.
00:49:07.000 You got it, kid.
00:49:08.000 You were cool enough not to be freaked out by the albinism.
00:49:12.000 Now stop.
00:49:14.000 But no.
00:49:15.000 And I'll buy no sister again.
00:49:23.000 Is that a dig on her? 0.99
00:49:25.000 Don't you think it's weird that they're grey and white?
00:49:28.000 I'm Lily, I'm 11 years old and I was the first to be adopted. 0.98
00:49:39.000 Boy, this is a long fucking tweet. 0.98
00:49:41.000 Tweet, yeah. 0.99
00:49:42.000 It's a tweet.
00:49:42.000 Thanks.
00:49:43.000 Yeah, we're familiar with albinos.
00:49:44.000 Matt Grabowski.
00:49:58.000 See this is what I'm talking about.
00:49:59.000 You know these parents with the trans kids where they're collecting children like action figures and putting them on a shelf? 1.00
00:50:07.000 I think there's this bizarre tendency just like the previous show where I said what a tangled web we weave and then we get into this depraved like sister-wife shit. 0.98
00:50:17.000 I think we're so okay with everything that when someone develops a bizarre compulsion to collect humans, a certain, and by the way, she dresses them in all white. 0.98
00:50:27.000 Yeah.
00:50:27.000 So she'll have, like, I don't, they probably won't show it in this clip, but she'll, there's like seven or eight of them living in her house now and they're all in all white, top to bottom.
00:50:37.000 What the hell?
00:50:40.000 Wait, let's see the end of that.
00:50:46.000 And it can affect anyone in the world, regardless of skin color and race.
00:50:50.000 Thanks.
00:50:54.000 Anybody up yet besides you?
00:50:55.000 I don't think so.
00:50:58.000 Most people are familiar with the term albino, but what they don't realize is that that term can be offensive or derogatory.
00:51:07.000 So now she has an oppressed child.
00:51:11.000 Right.
00:51:12.000 Now she's oppressed. 1.00
00:51:13.000 Love me, love my person of no color.
00:51:17.000 That I own and I collect. 0.99
00:51:20.000 Anyway, we'll be getting deeper into that fucking bizarre show because just like that handsome dude who would interview handicapped people and he's like, I'm talking to someone today with no fucking face. 1.00
00:51:32.000 And you go, that's cool of you, I guess. 0.97
00:51:34.000 I'm assuming you have a variety of guests.
00:51:36.000 And then you notice that a hundred percent of his guests are brutally disfigured.
00:51:43.000 And then he comes and he's the star of the show because he's so kind to speak to them.
00:51:47.000 And then he comes across a guy whose body ends here, but the guy's kind of an alpha.
00:51:52.000 An alpha stub?
00:51:54.000 And he's like, so how many of these interviews do you do, man?
00:51:56.000 And how long have you been doing it for?
00:51:57.000 And the guy's like, I tend to run the show here.
00:52:02.000 And all of a sudden, he's not the super sweet guy pandering to the severely disfigured person. 0.71
00:52:07.000 And he loses his identity.
00:52:09.000 And you realize this isn't about them.
00:52:12.000 This is about you virtue signaling. 1.00
00:52:15.000 You fucking weirdo. 1.00
00:52:17.000 You're collecting freaks. 1.00
00:52:20.000 I mean, is that what Howard Stern does with his Whack Pack?
00:52:23.000 How is this different from a Whack Pack? 0.99
00:52:26.000 This guy is like a homicidal maniac. 0.99
00:52:29.000 Not him. 1.00
00:52:31.000 He survived some horrific burn.
00:52:33.000 And look at him!
00:52:35.000 I'm so cool to talk to these people like they're human.
00:52:44.000 Now since I've reached this level of confidence, I want to help them get there.
00:52:50.000 I find joy in almost anything and I love to make fun of people, especially myself.
00:52:57.000 Imagine he's like, okay, let's go.
00:53:00.000 Let's go, you and me. 1.00
00:53:01.000 I love to roast people who are ugly. 1.00
00:53:03.000 Here, you get me and I'll get you one. 0.99
00:53:07.000 Well, that's a Key and Peele sketch, right?
00:53:09.000 Where the guy's in a wheelchair in the audience and he goes, roast me and he's speaking to you. 0.90
00:53:13.000 He said, you told me to roast you and he's like, I thought I could handle it, but I can't. 0.94
00:53:20.000 All right, we're about to go behind the Pizzay wall, but before we go, I would like to say thank you to our oldest running sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD, constantly harassed by Antifa and the SJW freaks, the tattletale journalists who pray for our demise every day, try to hack through our servers, try to fucking destroy this company.
00:53:41.000 It's so weird that we've been sequestered to a corner of the internet where we can't be on YouTube and we can't have social media and all that, and we go, okay,
00:53:49.000 We'll build our own thing there.
00:53:50.000 And they just keep hammering us and removing our payment processors.
00:53:54.000 We get a new payment processor.
00:53:55.000 We sue people who take our credit card info.
00:53:59.000 When Stripe tried to take our credit card info, we threatened to sue them.
00:54:02.000 Got it all back.
00:54:04.000 Constantly fighting for the back end, just like Crowder is with his suing YouTube.
00:54:08.000 And all of these sites have to constantly go through this.
00:54:12.000 And the other thing they do is they attack our advertisers.
00:54:15.000 So when you see Johnny Apple here, for all of these years, you know that not only are they selling quality CBD, which includes isolates and waxes, supplements,
00:54:26.000 Pet friendly CBD tincture.
00:54:29.000 Topicals, cookies, the cartridges, the stem vaporizer, the gummies for sleeping.
00:54:35.000 The only thing I haven't tried is the gummies.
00:54:37.000 I'm going to start trying those because I can't seem to sleep through the night.
00:54:41.000 I keep waking up at like 4.30 thinking of the worst things in the world.
00:54:46.000 Like what if my son gets sick or something?
00:54:49.000 Do you guys get that?
00:54:50.000 Is that a normal thing?
00:54:51.000 The night terrors?
00:54:53.000 This one has nighttime gummies with combined melatonin.
00:54:58.000 Precisely.
00:54:59.000 I'm going to try that and get back to you next week. 0.98
00:55:03.000 But yeah, thank you for putting up with all these assholes harassing you, johnnyapple.com. 0.98
00:55:08.000 And then people say to us, you give us confusing messages. 0.98
00:55:11.000 Is it johnnyapple.com or is it jacbd.com?
00:55:14.000 The answer is yes.
00:55:16.000 They were smart enough to get both URLs.
00:55:18.000 So, when you use the promo code Gavin, you get 20% off everything at JACBD.com.
00:55:25.000 That's JohnnyApple.com.
00:55:27.000 Promo code Gavin.
00:55:28.000 Thank you to them for sticking by us all these years.
00:55:32.000 And, what was I gonna say?
00:55:38.000 Thanks to them for sticking by us all these years?
00:55:40.000 They did stick by us, yes.
00:55:41.000 And, oh yeah, and when you go to JohnnyApple.com, you're helping to support the show.
00:55:46.000 So don't get your CBD anywhere else.
00:55:49.000 Go to tacticalwalls.com, go to Nita Fashions, and go to johnnyapple.com.
00:55:56.000 Okay?
00:55:57.000 Because we need your help, too. 1.00
00:55:58.000 We need your support to keep doing this shit. 0.99
00:56:02.000 Anyway, we're now going to go through to the paywall. 0.99
00:56:04.000 We've got a few more things to discuss.
00:56:06.000 And then we're going to take some calls.
00:56:09.000 And for you folks here just getting the freebie, the weekly freebie on the podcast, we end all shows with get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:56:21.000 We're good to go.