Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 18, 2019


S02E11 - ALL AMERICAN BOY


Episode Stats


Length

53 minutes

Words per minute

166.79175

Word count

8,890

Sentence count

962

Harmful content

Misogyny

111

sentences flagged

Hate speech

58

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On today's episode of Gavin Mcguinness' Get Off My Lawn, host Gavin McGuinness talks about his favorite Trump moments, why he thinks the word "anchor baby" is offensive, and why he doesn't like it when people misquote him.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:03.000 All American boy, rake those leaves. 0.67
00:00:07.000 All American boy, rake those leaves. 0.67
00:00:10.000 And oh, how you can ride a bike.
00:00:13.000 live from new york it's get off my lawn with gavin mcguinness Hello.
00:00:36.000 I'm in a bad mood.
00:00:37.000 I was just yelling at some people.
00:00:39.000 Now I have to get chirpy and positive.
00:00:42.000 Copper Keb wants me to pay for his food while he's here.
00:00:49.000 Right.
00:00:51.000 Does that sound normal to you?
00:00:54.000 I don't know, but I would like you to pay for my food.
00:00:57.000 Well, I said I'll give you some money.
00:00:59.000 I'll pay for the flight.
00:01:00.000 I'll give you some money for coming down.
00:01:04.000 But I'm not your mama.
00:01:06.000 I'm not buying you food.
00:01:07.000 How does that even work?
00:01:09.000 Here's your lunch money.
00:01:10.000 Here's your dinner money.
00:01:11.000 Here's your breakfast money.
00:01:13.000 Don't spend too much.
00:01:14.000 You bought me lunch before, and I made sure to pay it back.
00:01:17.000 It's like buying a pint.
00:01:18.000 Just go.
00:01:19.000 Hey.
00:01:23.000 I get very involved in this show.
00:01:24.000 I'm not just the host.
00:01:26.000 I get involved in booking guests.
00:01:27.000 And just had CNN pull a guy because of the Proud Boys.
00:01:33.000 So he refused.
00:01:34.000 He cannot appear on my show as a guest because I started The Proud Boys.
00:01:38.000 What the hell?
00:01:39.000 That's CNN.
00:01:41.000 What the hell kind of news station is that?
00:01:44.000 None of our anchors appear on shows where the host started a group that is listed as a hate group by the SBLC.
00:01:51.000 Full communism, full clown world.
00:01:54.000 Frankly, we're reaching full clown world.
00:01:58.000 That's really good.
00:01:59.000 Really?
00:02:00.000 Oh, maybe I can do a Trump.
00:02:00.000 Yeah.
00:02:02.000 Frankly, remember my favorite Trump moment, actually, my two favorites, it's hard to decide which is the winner, but I like when he was talking about anchor babies and the guy from Telemundo says, excuse me, excuse me, Mr. Trump, excuse me.
00:02:17.000 Why do you say anchor baby when you should say non-offensive word?
00:02:22.000 You have the clip.
00:02:23.000 Good.
00:02:24.000 The people across the board are rapists and murderers.
00:02:24.000 Good work.
00:02:27.000 No, no, no.
00:02:27.000 We're talking about illegal immigration, and everybody understands it.
00:02:30.000 And you know what?
00:02:31.000 That's a typical case.
00:02:33.000 Wait.
00:02:33.000 That's a typical case of the press with misinterpretation.
00:02:37.000 They take a half a sentence.
00:02:41.000 They take a half a sentence.
00:02:43.000 By the way, they take a half a sentence.
00:02:46.000 This isn't what I was talking about, genius.
00:02:48.000 What did he say when he says bad ombres?
00:02:51.000 Oh, my God.
00:02:52.000 I thought that because you know what I was thinking when you found that clip so fast?
00:02:56.000 I thought, I'm too hard on this guy.
00:02:58.000 Sometimes he really nails it.
00:02:59.000 And I was going to ask you, did you have a drink?
00:03:01.000 Because I poured myself a whiskey and I was like, maybe he had a whiskey.
00:03:04.000 I stopped drinking.
00:03:05.000 And it's making him better.
00:03:06.000 But no.
00:03:07.000 And then he finds you.
00:03:08.000 I said anchor baby.
00:03:10.000 You found a clip where he said bad ombre.
00:03:12.000 What?
00:03:13.000 Sit down and go back.
00:03:13.000 You got right was the ethnicity.
00:03:15.000 Sit down and go back to Univision?
00:03:18.000 Oh my God, that's two strikes.
00:03:19.000 Sit down.
00:03:20.000 Go ahead.
00:03:22.000 That's not an anchor baby.
00:03:24.000 Do you know what an anchor baby is?
00:03:26.000 What?
00:03:26.000 Yes.
00:03:27.000 It's a baby that they have in the United States so that way they can avoid being exterminated.
00:03:34.000 Yes, exterminated.
00:03:35.000 Because Trump's Gestapo goes door-to-door shooting illegal aliens in the head.
00:03:40.000 Exterminated?
00:03:42.000 Removed.
00:03:43.000 Removed?
00:03:45.000 Yes.
00:03:46.000 I can't.
00:03:47.000 Deported?
00:03:48.000 Is that the word you're trying?
00:03:49.000 Did you just confuse deported with exterminated?
00:03:51.000 Anyway, please stop helping me.
00:03:54.000 As Jason Riley says, the black man who is married to Naomi Schaefer-Riley, a great columnist, he wrote a book called Please Stop Helping Us, How Liberals Are Making It Harder for Blacks in America.
00:04:07.000 I'm paraphrasing this uphead.
00:04:08.000 Last try.
00:04:09.000 This is not it.
00:04:11.000 No, that's not it, you buffoon.
00:04:16.000 All right.
00:04:19.000 Anyway, so my two favorite Trump moments is one that he said, he was saying Anchor Baby in the Univision guy goes, excuse me, why do you say that?
00:04:27.000 Well, you should say the word is offensive.
00:04:30.000 And Trump goes, okay, well, what do you want me to say?
00:04:33.000 Open-minded, like, let's hear your side of it.
00:04:35.000 Let's hear both sides.
00:04:35.000 That's America, right?
00:04:37.000 And the guy doesn't have a response, of course.
00:04:39.000 You know, they don't have a plan B, the left.
00:04:41.000 They just want to destroy America with nothing to replace it with.
00:04:45.000 And so he says something like, maybe the undocumented, no, the child born of undocumented migrants or something.
00:04:56.000 It was equally as absurd.
00:04:58.000 You could tell the guy was just piecing it together as it came out of his mouth.
00:05:01.000 And Trump goes, it takes too long.
00:05:03.000 I'm going to say anchor babies.
00:05:04.000 Excellent moment.
00:05:06.000 But I think that was number two.
00:05:07.000 My number one was this guy yells, we love you.
00:05:12.000 And Trump goes, I love you too.
00:05:14.000 And then he goes, wait a minute.
00:05:15.000 And then he looks at the audience and he goes, that's a guy.
00:05:19.000 A guy just said that.
00:05:22.000 He's not presidential.
00:05:22.000 That's hilarious.
00:05:24.000 Yeah, I don't like the government.
00:05:26.000 I have no respect for the White House.
00:05:29.000 The White House is a giant DMV that the Canadians burned to the ground in 1812. 0.99
00:05:35.000 It is full of criminals.
00:05:38.000 They're not public servants.
00:05:39.000 They're public parasites.
00:05:43.000 Dude, you know what I saw Trump do?
00:05:44.000 He said motherfucker.
00:05:45.000 You ever hear Trump say motherfucker?
00:05:49.000 Don't.
00:05:50.000 You're trying to redeem yourself?
00:05:51.000 This better be good.
00:05:51.000 Anyway, it is good.
00:05:52.000 That opening song.
00:05:53.000 Okay, go ahead.
00:05:54.000 She said he's a pussy. 0.53
00:05:56.000 They're ripping the shit out of the sea.
00:05:58.000 We can't get a fucking school building.
00:06:01.000 You're not going to raise that fucking price.
00:06:04.000 I'm going to bomb the shit out of them.
00:06:06.000 Listen, you motherfuckers. 1.00
00:06:07.000 We're going to bomb you.
00:06:10.000 That's our president.
00:06:11.000 That's the best good.
00:06:13.000 I wasn't ready for that.
00:06:14.000 I thought it was just the one.
00:06:15.000 Like, what's the matter with comedians?
00:06:17.000 They go, I'm really pissed off about Trump.
00:06:19.000 I don't want him.
00:06:20.000 We have a comedian in the White House.
00:06:20.000 What?
00:06:23.000 I think one of the problems with Trump's humor is he's so dry.
00:06:26.000 I was talking to Tucker Carlson about this.
00:06:29.000 They don't know that he's kidding.
00:06:31.000 because he does it with a straight face.
00:06:31.000 Uh-huh.
00:06:33.000 I think Americans aren't as good at sarcasm as, say, the Brits.
00:06:38.000 Because I've noticed that when I do jokes with a totally straight face, people go, Really?
00:06:41.000 What?
00:06:42.000 Really?
00:06:43.000 So, sorry, that intro was All-American Boy by Tom Wilson.
00:06:47.000 And my culture growing up in the 80s and 90s, a big part of alternative culture was outsider art.
00:06:57.000 And we would trade cassette tapes of mentally ill people making music and kind of, well, losers. 0.84
00:07:03.000 And we enjoyed loser art.
00:07:06.000 And it got to the point where we weren't being ironic anymore.
00:07:11.000 And we actually listened to it.
00:07:13.000 Like Daniel Johnson or what was that black guy who could draw things and he'd have an organ, Wesley Willis. 0.99
00:07:24.000 Wesley Willis would have songs like Northwest Airlines, Northwest Airlines.
00:07:32.000 And we weren't laughing.
00:07:34.000 We just liked that this guy was a freak.
00:07:38.000 Freak culture.
00:07:39.000 Anyway, Tom Wilson is part of that.
00:07:42.000 And there he is, Wesley Wilson.
00:07:43.000 I met him once, and he head-butted me really hard because that's how he meets.
00:07:48.000 You'll notice he has a scar on his forehead.
00:07:49.000 That's how he greets people.
00:07:50.000 He head-butts them.
00:07:52.000 And he said, how you doing, you big water tower head?
00:07:56.000 And I wanted to buy one of his drawings.
00:07:57.000 He can look at something and remember it perfectly and then recreate it and get license plates right and stuff like that and signs on buses just from memory.
00:08:05.000 He's an idiot Savant. 1.00
00:08:07.000 And he wanted to charge me like $600 for a drawing.
00:08:09.000 And there's a pretty girl next to me.
00:08:11.000 He's going to give it to her for $20.
00:08:14.000 And I was like, I'll pay you $200 to buy that and then give it to me.
00:08:19.000 She said, no way.
00:08:20.000 Yeah.
00:08:21.000 His drawings are nice.
00:08:23.000 They're really cool.
00:08:24.000 I love that they're GoPro.
00:08:26.000 Yeah.
00:08:27.000 They are GoPro.
00:08:28.000 Find one of his songs, though.
00:08:30.000 All right.
00:08:32.000 Yeah, they're fisheye. 0.89
00:08:34.000 Anyway, Tom Wilson is a gay man, and I have a show on this very network.
00:08:41.000 This is starting to get like Eddie Murphy playing all the characters in a movie.
00:08:45.000 It's like the Clumps.
00:08:47.000 This network is basically the Clumps.
00:08:50.000 And it's called Off the Record.
00:08:51.000 I talk about my record collection and the various musicians, and one of them is Tom Wilson.
00:08:57.000 Do you have Wesley Willis?
00:08:58.000 I got Wesley Willis, yep.
00:09:00.000 This song is called Get the Fuck Away From Me.
00:09:01.000 Get the fuck away from my car. 0.63
00:09:04.000 Get the fuck away from my house. 0.98
00:09:06.000 Get the fuck out of my face.
00:09:07.000 Get the fuck out of my reach. 0.83
00:09:09.000 Get the fuck away from me. 0.98
00:09:12.000 Get the fuck away from me. 0.98
00:09:16.000 Swear words on this episode.
00:09:19.000 That's not typical of his songs.
00:09:20.000 They're a little more jovial, usually.
00:09:22.000 But anyway, Tom Wilson is an eccentric gay man that my buddy Jeff Jensen, he lives in Jamaica.
00:09:31.000 It's hard to describe him.
00:09:32.000 He sort of crossed over to the dark side where he stopped being ironic.
00:09:36.000 He went to Jamaica on a lark because he was depressed.
00:09:39.000 And he went to Kingston where no white, there's no tourism in Kingston.
00:09:43.000 It's all black people. 1.00
00:09:48.000 I'm trying to get him on the show right now.
00:09:50.000 And I only have WhatsApp.
00:09:52.000 Yeah.
00:09:52.000 Who, Jeff?
00:09:53.000 Oh, cool.
00:09:54.000 But how am I going to do that?
00:09:56.000 Oh, you only have WhatsApp too?
00:09:58.000 Well, I could plug your phone in.
00:10:01.000 Yeah, I could try to make it happen.
00:10:01.000 Huh?
00:10:03.000 All right.
00:10:05.000 You can call him on that.
00:10:06.000 Maybe I'll just show it to the camera or something.
00:10:09.000 So he goes to Jamaica on a lark because he's depressed.
00:10:13.000 And he goes, I really like it here, man.
00:10:16.000 He's been there ever since.
00:10:17.000 This was like 10 years ago.
00:10:20.000 And every time I go to Jamaica, we hang out.
00:10:22.000 And he just, he speaks in patois to the locals.
00:10:25.000 Yo, rust of blood, Claro, go on.
00:10:28.000 Hey, man, can I get a refill on this red strap?
00:10:31.000 You're don't vex me so.
00:10:34.000 Bizarre, dude.
00:10:36.000 Anyway, if you, he turned me on to the Tom Wilson, and I looked him up online, and lo and behold, there's Jeff talking to Tom Wilson on American Apparel's radio station.
00:10:47.000 There he is.
00:10:48.000 He's a Mets fan, too.
00:10:49.000 He might be why I'm a Mets fan, actually.
00:10:52.000 But anyway, play that.
00:10:53.000 You know, I wouldn't even know who to compare you to, actually.
00:10:58.000 You're such a trailblazer in a way, Tom.
00:11:01.000 But you weren't going to be the next Bob Dylan, let's say.
00:11:03.000 But you were doing your own thing.
00:11:05.000 He tracked this guy down.
00:11:07.000 What inspired the second record?
00:11:09.000 You just had another batch of songs?
00:11:11.000 I was continuing to write, having new ideas, and wanting to do it.
00:11:16.000 You're boring, dude.
00:11:18.000 First record was gay. 0.98
00:11:19.000 He's Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy.
00:11:20.000 Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy.
00:11:23.000 He still whistles like this.
00:11:24.000 Okay, let's call Jeff now.
00:11:26.000 This is the kind of spontaneous stuff we do on this show.
00:11:32.000 I could plug it in.
00:11:34.000 I don't think you can plug it in.
00:11:40.000 We're calling Jeff.
00:11:43.000 Hey, man.
00:11:45.000 How are you?
00:11:46.000 How are you?
00:11:46.000 Good.
00:11:47.000 No, we're not doing that.
00:11:50.000 I'm in Jamaica.
00:11:51.000 Where are you in New York?
00:11:52.000 Yeah, you're on my new hit show.
00:11:55.000 I'm live on the air?
00:11:56.000 Yeah.
00:11:58.000 Oh, hey.
00:11:58.000 How's it going, everybody?
00:12:00.000 Hey, we were just listening to Tom Wilson, All-American Boy.
00:12:05.000 And I gotta say, it's kind of a creepy song.
00:12:08.000 It's got kind of a pedophile vibe.
00:12:10.000 He's like, mowing the lawn, riding your bike.
00:12:14.000 Isn't he, is he sexualizing a boy?
00:12:18.000 You know, I'm going to be honest with you.
00:12:20.000 I feel like that, even though that's the title song of the LP, it's not really one of the best songs on the record, and I never really got that into that particular song.
00:12:30.000 So I can't comment on the lyrics of that one.
00:12:33.000 Huh.
00:12:34.000 Listen to He Likes Me.
00:12:38.000 That is one of the best ones on there.
00:12:42.000 I mean, they're all kind of great.
00:12:43.000 I'd have to revisit the tracks.
00:12:45.000 It's been a while since I put that one on.
00:12:47.000 Would you say that you start watching this outsider art as a joke and then you get Stockholm Syndrome and the next thing you know you genuinely enjoy it?
00:12:55.000 I don't know if it's quite, I think that's an oversimplification of it, but in the case of Tom Wilson, it was just a record that Doug found at a dollar bin and he threw it on and the immediate first moment of his voice is hilarious.
00:13:17.000 Okay, he likes me.
00:13:21.000 Would you say the same thing happened with Jamaica?
00:13:24.000 You sort of went there in a lurk, and the next thing you know, you're a Jamaican man? 0.94
00:13:29.000 No.
00:13:30.000 I mean, not, it's not.
00:13:33.000 The experience of living in Jamaica for seven years is not directly analogous to the Tom Wilson record, my relationship with that.
00:13:41.000 But yeah, I did slowly get sort of drawn in in ways I can't exactly explain.
00:13:48.000 But it has more to do with the natural charms of the island.
00:13:52.000 All right, that sounds Iri, man. 0.88
00:13:54.000 We got Babylon closing in on us.
00:13:55.000 We gotta go, you know.
00:13:57.000 All right, Gavin.
00:13:58.000 It's good to hear from you, man.
00:13:59.000 Yeah.
00:14:04.000 Okay, we're big upping him.
00:14:07.000 You know, that might be the only way we can get spontaneous interviews on this show, so I just call them on my phone.
00:14:13.000 All right, Jesus, we're really spending a lot of time on the opening song.
00:14:16.000 There's so much to discuss.
00:14:18.000 You know, so we're good with that, right?
00:14:21.000 All-American Boy? 0.72
00:14:22.000 All right.
00:14:24.000 A new movie's coming out May 15th.
00:14:26.000 And I know if you're watching this, it's probably in June.
00:14:29.000 So you're watching a banked episode that I'm recording.
00:14:32.000 So when you sign up for free speech.tv, there's not nothing there.
00:14:37.000 But it's done by those guys.
00:14:39.000 You know the guys, George and Cowlin?
00:14:43.000 Kalen, Colin?
00:14:44.000 No, no, no.
00:14:45.000 They're the guys that big beef with Ezra at Rebel, where they had a big expose.
00:14:50.000 They do not get along.
00:14:52.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:14:53.000 So it's one of those weird things where I should never speak to them again because I'm Ezra's boy and I'm very loyal.
00:15:00.000 But I'm also Alex Jones' bro, and this movie was Alex Jones doing it.
00:15:07.000 So I said, sure, I did it.
00:15:09.000 And it's looking very beautiful.
00:15:11.000 They're very good cinematographers, those two, despite stabbing Ezra in the back.
00:15:16.000 You want to see a clip?
00:15:18.000 Of course I do.
00:15:19.000 Why is one side of my mustache always up?
00:15:24.000 This is not very good, dude.
00:15:27.000 What's the matter with you?
00:15:28.000 You know what's interesting about this movie is you can't retweet it.
00:15:32.000 So it's been ghosted on retweets, the trailer.
00:15:34.000 So what people are doing is they're filming their phone and then sending that video as the retweet.
00:15:40.000 Look at this.
00:15:41.000 Shadow blocked.
00:15:42.000 So they have to film their phone to show you the video.
00:15:45.000 Don't these assholes realize they're making us cool?
00:15:50.000 That's a t-shirt right now.
00:15:52.000 These assholes are making us.
00:15:53.000 Don't these assholes realize they're making us cool?
00:15:55.000 Question mark.
00:15:57.000 Like, you're making us taboo.
00:15:59.000 You're making us the in-crowd.
00:16:01.000 You're making us heavy metal.
00:16:03.000 We're basically Black Sabbath in the 70s right now.
00:16:07.000 You're making us rock.
00:16:09.000 You're making us punk.
00:16:11.000 You're making us verboten.
00:16:13.000 Don't you understand that young people love stuff that you're not supposed to look at?
00:16:17.000 And the underdogs.
00:16:19.000 You're making us the underdogs.
00:16:20.000 Yeah.
00:16:20.000 People always root for the underdogs.
00:16:22.000 If my daughter ever starts dating a guy that I don't want her to date, I'm going to love him.
00:16:28.000 I'm going to say, hey, Sophie, where's Max?
00:16:31.000 He's a lot of fun.
00:16:32.000 I'd love Max to come by.
00:16:34.000 And then I'll say things like, that sounds like something Max would say.
00:16:37.000 Classic Max.
00:16:39.000 Until she dumps him. 1.00
00:16:42.000 The last thing you want to do as a dad is go, where's that bad boy?
00:16:45.000 The one on the motorcycle who picked you up and had you back past curfew.
00:16:49.000 Ooh, that guy.
00:16:51.000 No way.
00:16:51.000 I'm running out to that guy's motorbike and going, nice, but what is that?
00:16:54.000 A thousand CCs?
00:16:55.000 Whoa, that's a hell of a ride.
00:16:56.000 I bet it never overheats.
00:16:57.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:16:58.000 Your carburetors sound a little bit blocked up.
00:17:00.000 Want me to help you clean them out?
00:17:02.000 That's right.
00:17:03.000 That's what you do.
00:17:04.000 And so you dummies are saying, don't date Gavin.
00:17:08.000 Don't date Laura.
00:17:09.000 Don't date Alex.
00:17:10.000 Don't date Paul Joseph Watson.
00:17:11.000 Don't date Tommy Robinson.
00:17:12.000 He's too hot.
00:17:15.000 This is like the Avengers right here.
00:17:17.000 You're making us the Avengers.
00:17:18.000 Tonight, we present this special report on social media.
00:17:24.000 Remember that idiotic statue?
00:17:26.000 That little girl?
00:17:28.000 Where they put her in front of the Wall Street bull, where in real life, that child would die.
00:17:34.000 She'd be gored to death by a bull. 1.00
00:17:36.000 So what you accidentally did was prove what we're saying, which is women are vulnerable. 0.93
00:17:43.000 It was so perfect when it was there.
00:17:45.000 I talked about it in a bar once with this guy for like an hour.
00:17:49.000 I think it was Freddie someone from National Review.
00:17:52.000 And we just talked about how perfect it is to have that little girl there because there's tomes and tomes of metaphors going on.
00:17:59.000 Like it shows the hubris of feminists and how naive they are to think they can stand up to a bull. 1.00
00:18:05.000 And it also shows free market versus communism.
00:18:10.000 It was the city that allowed that there.
00:18:12.000 The bull, the Wall Street bull, wasn't a plan.
00:18:15.000 An artist just stuck it there.
00:18:16.000 It's essentially vandalism.
00:18:19.000 That Italian guy who made it, he just plopped it there.
00:18:22.000 Anyway, so great that they did that.
00:18:25.000 And so now what they've done is they've moved it.
00:18:27.000 And she's just sitting somewhere else.
00:18:29.000 I got to work on this mustache.
00:18:31.000 Go ahead.
00:18:32.000 Thank you.
00:18:34.000 Zuckerberg's power, unprecedented and un-American.
00:18:38.000 Listen, this is not just targeting one side of the political system.
00:18:41.000 Yes, it is.
00:18:42.000 It's the first time that the High Court will examine free speech rights and social media.
00:18:47.000 This is a monopoly.
00:18:48.000 There is no competition, and there's no accountability.
00:18:51.000 Facebook or Google are not government actors, so the First Amendment does not speak to their conduct.
00:18:56.000 Certain voices and messages should be excluded from their platforms.
00:19:02.000 Why?
00:19:04.000 We're not in Kansas anymore.
00:19:06.000 We're not in Kansas anymore.
00:19:08.000 I shouldn't have played that twice.
00:19:09.000 Should have just been, we're not in Kansas anymore.
00:19:11.000 This is not a lifestyle for people who are weak-minded.
00:19:15.000 I mean, I didn't just get depressed.
00:19:16.000 I felt straight up super.
00:19:18.000 Can you just pause it there?
00:19:19.000 That's an interesting point.
00:19:20.000 I've been thinking a lot about this recently, is how harrowing it is.
00:19:24.000 And my wife doesn't enjoy conflict. 1.00
00:19:26.000 I love it.
00:19:26.000 I love being yelled at.
00:19:27.000 I love fighting.
00:19:29.000 I Love danger.
00:19:33.000 But so I'm perfectly cut out for this.
00:19:37.000 I think it's a Scottish thing.
00:19:38.000 The Scots were under siege from the English for 700 years.
00:19:41.000 And so the ones that don't like conflict are extinct.
00:19:45.000 But what I've also seen, I've seen people break down and some people go nuts.
00:19:48.000 Like, remember that guy, Johnny Benitez?
00:19:50.000 He was a proud boy, and now he lives in Columbia, and he's a cowboy.
00:19:54.000 He changed his name.
00:19:55.000 Really?
00:19:56.000 Yeah.
00:19:57.000 So they go that route.
00:19:59.000 They totally change their identity.
00:20:00.000 Then there's Pax Dickinson, who is now like farming ostriches out in the middle of nowhere.
00:20:05.000 So that's one route.
00:20:08.000 Another is just a complete nervous breakdown.
00:20:09.000 I mean, Laura Loomer is on the verge of suicide, and she'll happily discuss that with you.
00:20:13.000 I'm not speaking out of turn.
00:20:16.000 And another thing they do, though, when they get isolated is they become the Nazis that you say they are. 0.64
00:20:22.000 I'm not going to name names, but I know of guys where they were just asking questions.
00:20:26.000 They were genuinely curious.
00:20:27.000 And then the next thing you know, they were pushed to the outskirts of society where they became alt-right because everyone kept saying, you're alt-right, you're altruist, alt-right, you're alt-right, you're alt-right, until no one would hang out with them.
00:20:39.000 And they end up talking to Nazis and they end up getting radicalized.
00:20:42.000 So the irony, I remember the Southern Poverty Law Center blamed Proud Boys for radicalizing.
00:20:46.000 They said, you want bigots, Gavin?
00:20:47.000 This is how you get bigots.
00:20:48.000 No, you are how we get bigots.
00:20:51.000 You isolated that young man until he had no one else to talk to and he became a Nazi. 0.81
00:20:57.000 You are creating hate.
00:20:59.000 The SPLC manifested hate where there was none.
00:21:03.000 This vilification, this depersoning of people is creating Nazis. 0.75
00:21:09.000 And I saw this happen in the 80s with the government.
00:21:12.000 They started this anti-Nazi campaign and ended up trying to lure Nazis in by creating the Heritage Foundation, they were called. 0.53
00:21:19.000 And the next thing you know, they created a Nazi movement. 0.59
00:21:22.000 That's not how you conduct a free society.
00:21:25.000 You know how you conduct a free society?
00:21:28.000 And please don't take this quote out of context.
00:21:29.000 You allow a Holocaust denier the right to talk.
00:21:33.000 And you know what happens then?
00:21:36.000 Intelligent people explain to him how he's wrong, and that idea gets quashed.
00:21:43.000 So if it's a tweet, then there can be a thread, and you have intelligent people, I've talked about this before, like say Prager or Ezra, explain to the guy why he's wrong, and you can rescue him from the precipice of extreme anti-Semitism.
00:21:56.000 But when you isolate him, he becomes more anti-Semitic, and then you end up creating this sort of Nazi cabal.
00:22:02.000 We've tried the non-freedom thing before.
00:22:05.000 It was called socialism.
00:22:07.000 It's called communism.
00:22:08.000 It's called Cuba.
00:22:09.000 It doesn't work.
00:22:10.000 We got here to freedom with trial and error.
00:22:14.000 Anyway, go ahead and play that.
00:22:15.000 Depressed?
00:22:16.000 I felt straight up suicidal.
00:22:19.000 Very soon, time soon, then the relocation of my family will be needed.
00:22:27.000 I wake up, the first thing I do, before I talk to anyone, before I turn on my phone, is go on my YouTube channel and make sure it's still there.
00:22:34.000 I mean, I lost my job.
00:22:36.000 I lost my social media platforms.
00:22:39.000 I lost my vocation in a sense.
00:22:43.000 If we don't fight back if we don't do something soon, I'm worried that we may fall.
00:22:48.000 We may lose what makes this country great, and that is the fact that we have free speech.
00:22:54.000 The government cannot broadly restrict anything that it might label hate speech, but platforms can if they wish to.
00:23:01.000 Let's talk about YouTube, the second biggest search engine in the world.
00:23:05.000 The more they try to send to the people who are being tangible, the more frustration there will be already.
00:23:11.000 A progressive publisher fears those on the left like her may soon face the very same hurdles as conservatives.
00:23:16.000 I was used as the straw man.
00:23:20.000 Once the public took the bait, took the hook in their mouth, then everyone else would fall.
00:23:28.000 We were winning.
00:23:30.000 We're losing.
00:23:32.000 That's not very inspiring.
00:23:35.000 It's a new documentary where Gavin McGinnis ends the trailer with, we're losing.
00:23:40.000 Nice dude, bummer.
00:23:41.000 Yeah, womp.
00:23:42.000 I don't like stuff like that where there's no hope.
00:23:44.000 But I talked to the filmmakers and I said, I hope this isn't like, we're the victims and I might get kicked off YouTube and my neighbors were mean to me.
00:23:52.000 And we, I hope it's not whiny.
00:23:54.000 No.
00:23:55.000 You know what it is?
00:23:56.000 It's like you need to be told you're losing so that way you could fight harder to win.
00:24:02.000 Yeah.
00:24:02.000 All right.
00:24:03.000 I think we're getting a little too serious here and we're bumming people out.
00:24:06.000 Let's go back to the 25 hottest women and throw in my new favorite chick, Nanastasia Natasia. 1.00
00:24:16.000 God, I hate all foreign names.
00:24:18.000 Natasia?
00:24:20.000 What is with Greeks and their stupid names? 1.00
00:24:24.000 Theodora Cropolis.
00:24:28.000 Let's go and I think our 25 hottest chicks list needs a serious overhaul. 1.00
00:24:33.000 So let's just go through it again and see how it's changed to sort of lighten the mood here.
00:24:38.000 We're getting a little heavy.
00:24:39.000 Sunday school, he asked about All-American, All-American.
00:24:43.000 All-American.
00:24:51.000 Hello, gentlemen.
00:24:53.000 Oh, sorry, I didn't say that in the mic.
00:24:55.000 Hello, gentlemen.
00:24:56.000 We are constantly updating the top 25 hottest women.
00:24:59.000 We all know that Beatrice Dowell in Betty Blue was the pinnacle of beauty, but she's an old hag now. 1.00
00:25:05.000 And ladies, while you're watching this and you're seeing what men love, try to make yourself more like these women. 0.76
00:25:12.000 So I think this is good for women too to watch this list.
00:25:16.000 But men, you should watch this list, and this is who you should be attracted to.
00:25:20.000 And it's not my personal opinion.
00:25:22.000 These are facts.
00:25:24.000 These are beauty facts.
00:25:25.000 I'm a beauty guru.
00:25:27.000 So I want to announce, kind of an exciting announcement to make.
00:25:30.000 As you know, we're constantly kicking people off the list and putting people on the list.
00:25:33.000 It's a sort of an art.
00:25:34.000 It's not a science.
00:25:35.000 It's an amorphous moving top 25 list.
00:25:38.000 Kate Blanchett just got pushed out. 0.98
00:25:40.000 She was number 25.
00:25:42.000 It was specifically her in the movie Ragnarok, where she's got black hair and she looks kind of rugged, haggard.
00:25:50.000 We like that look as men.
00:25:52.000 But I'm excited to announce a new person jumps onto number 11 from Zero.
00:25:58.000 I didn't know she existed until I started watching What we do in the shadows on FX, a vampire show, where she plays a vampire.
00:26:04.000 She should try to pull up one of those. 0.70
00:26:05.000 But Natasha Natasia Demetrio is my new favorite chick.
00:26:11.000 There she is as a vampire. 0.97
00:26:14.000 She seems like pretty fat on the show, but she's always wearing lots of stuff, so it's hard to tell.
00:26:18.000 She's a Greek-British woman, hence the stupid name Natasia. 1.00
00:26:22.000 Should be named Polly. 1.00
00:26:23.000 I like the name Polly for a girl. 1.00
00:26:26.000 But she is more than just a looker. 0.96
00:26:28.000 The reason that you are so attracted to her is she's smart and funny and has this incredible soothing aura about her.
00:26:40.000 If you go look her up, go find her on any talk show.
00:26:43.000 And when she opens her mouth, it's just niceness comes out.
00:26:48.000 She's just such a nice, good quality.
00:26:51.000 This is her with her brother.
00:26:52.000 She did a show with her brother.
00:26:54.000 And they're just like, because they're quite immature as characters, even though they're sort of our ages.
00:27:01.000 It's that like stupid, like brother and sister, best friends, like watching TV on the sofa, having crisps and chats.
00:27:09.000 Nowadays, me and Jamie, we're in casinos.
00:27:11.000 You know, we're drinking champagne.
00:27:13.000 We're only playing poker.
00:27:15.000 It's a very joke.
00:27:16.000 Did you catch that?
00:27:17.000 Like, that's how funny she is.
00:27:18.000 She's joking around, making fun of the characters she plays and saying they're kind of trashy.
00:27:22.000 And then she realizes that that sounds pompous.
00:27:26.000 So she exaggerates that and talks about how she is always playing poker and drinking champagne because she's rich now. 0.91
00:27:33.000 Here she is doing a parody of the way Russians see America. 1.00
00:27:37.000 This chick is scared shitless. 1.00
00:27:38.000 She's being held captive.
00:27:40.000 And this is just a ditzy Russian who has no idea what she's talking about. 1.00
00:27:43.000 And she's trying to look like a stupid loser. 1.00
00:27:46.000 And she's still so amazingly attractive.
00:27:49.000 And again, I'm not lusting her.
00:27:51.000 I'm not coveting thy neighbor's wife.
00:27:52.000 I'm happily married.
00:27:53.000 This is for you to cherish.
00:27:56.000 I'm helping you cherish.
00:27:59.000 My name is Rowdy Rebecca.
00:28:02.000 Watch out.
00:28:03.000 And my name is very small, sweet, lovely Bula.
00:28:06.000 Shh, don't be poloising.
00:28:08.000 I'm very swing.
00:28:10.000 We eat, sleep, and pray, and drink with the Americans.
00:28:14.000 For us, American City is the most important city in the world, baby.
00:28:19.000 And this is our top 10 things.
00:28:20.000 Very well in the Americas. 0.98
00:28:22.000 That's a really funny video, too, by the way.
00:28:24.000 So that's a wife. 1.00
00:28:25.000 If you see someone who's that soothing, funny, and smart, just throw a ring on it.
00:28:31.000 I don't care what you have to do.
00:28:33.000 Put her in a bag.
00:28:34.000 Put a potato sack over her head and throw her in a van. 1.00
00:28:37.000 And eventually she'll get Stockholm Syndrome and fall in love with you.
00:28:40.000 All right, so let's just briefly go through the list and check out the new editions.
00:28:44.000 Because the last time we did this, that was a long time ago, I'd forgotten about Fox News, Kimberly Guilfoyle, all that stuff.
00:28:50.000 So Cheryl Burke is the least attractive woman in the top 25 most beautiful women in the world. 0.87
00:28:57.000 Cheryl Burke was much hotter when she was younger. 1.00
00:28:59.000 She's getting a little older now, and we have to base this on 2019.
00:29:04.000 So you can't say Sophia Lorraine or Bridget Bardot in the 50s.
00:29:08.000 That's not attainable.
00:29:09.000 She might divorce her husband. 1.00
00:29:11.000 He seems like a loser.
00:29:13.000 And then you might be able to get her.
00:29:15.000 But if you're young, don't, because I don't think she's fertile.
00:29:18.000 24, Laura Greener.
00:29:20.000 Now, she is just something about her on Shark Tank.
00:29:23.000 You just want to jump into the TV and eat her up. 1.00
00:29:26.000 But I Google imaged her, and she does not Google image well.
00:29:29.000 So I think times are not looking good for Laurie.
00:29:33.000 She's just too away from being pushed out of the top 25.
00:29:37.000 Liz Plank, of course, still remains at 23. 0.97
00:29:39.000 Her politics are infuriating. 1.00
00:29:41.000 She's a tedious and dogmatic feminist who is uninformed and terrible at debates and just parrots DNC talking points to pedantic levels of tedium. 1.00
00:29:53.000 But you're going to deny that she's breathtakingly gorgeous?
00:29:58.000 It's that Montreal curse. 1.00
00:30:00.000 Every woman from Montreal is a nine. 1.00
00:30:02.000 If you go there, by the way, and you're a nine, you're going to feel hideous.
00:30:06.000 22, Leah Michelle from Glee.
00:30:09.000 No idea why she's so hot. 1.00
00:30:11.000 Google image her.
00:30:12.000 She's got this gigantic schnauz, absolutely zero boobs, and there's just something incredibly attractive about her and matronly too. 1.00
00:30:22.000 Like there's something about some of these women where you don't just want to bang them in an alleyway. 1.00
00:30:26.000 You want to marry them. 0.53
00:30:28.000 They seem like they'd be good moms.
00:30:30.000 She's not that attractive, but she has that, you know who's like this, that singer, Demi Lovato? 1.00
00:30:36.000 She has this Italian kind of, I'll be a great mom for your kids kind of thing. 1.00
00:30:41.000 And in this list, we're including that as a thing.
00:30:43.000 This isn't about banging chicks. 1.00
00:30:45.000 This is about getting married.
00:30:47.000 21, Doodle on a Motorcycle.
00:30:50.000 Just very special gal who does motorcycle repair. 1.00
00:30:54.000 20, Allison Stoke.
00:30:56.000 I don't like her on this list.
00:30:58.000 She doesn't like being ogled. 0.99
00:30:59.000 She's married to some Olympian javelin thrower or something.
00:31:05.000 But again, unbelievably hot.
00:31:07.000 Maybe Google image her. 0.59
00:31:08.000 Because I'm actually resenting.
00:31:10.000 And this list confuses me just as much as it confuses you.
00:31:14.000 Like Lauren Chen, roaming millennial. 0.81
00:31:16.000 She's nowhere on this list.
00:31:18.000 And she's more attractive technically than others. 0.99
00:31:21.000 I can't explain that.
00:31:22.000 That might be an example of my bias because I see her as a daughter figure to me.
00:31:28.000 That's Allison Stoke.
00:31:30.000 What an insane knockout. 1.00
00:31:32.000 A golfer?
00:31:34.000 Okay.
00:31:35.000 Wow.
00:31:39.000 Yeah.
00:31:40.000 All right.
00:31:41.000 19.
00:31:42.000 Corianca Kilcher, the fake American Indian who's actually half Peruvian.
00:31:49.000 She's a knockout. 1.00
00:31:50.000 Her chin's a little big.
00:31:51.000 Some of these are not aging very well.
00:31:53.000 18.
00:31:53.000 Now this is up there with Natasia, Katie Mixon.
00:31:57.000 She's, that's not a great picture of her, but she is kind of chubby now. 0.88
00:32:02.000 She's on this show American Housewife, I think it's called. 0.99
00:32:05.000 And you can look at old pictures of her when she was like a Maxim type of model.
00:32:09.000 And now she's chubby. 1.00
00:32:10.000 You get to see her boobs in Eastbound and Down, and they are something to write home about, boy. 0.78
00:32:16.000 Those are fake?
00:32:17.000 Okay.
00:32:18.000 Well, still, thanks for ruining that for me.
00:32:20.000 Even now, as a fatso, I am all about it.
00:32:24.000 Oh, she's the one married to a javelin guy. 0.77
00:32:26.000 She's married to some Olympic athlete.
00:32:28.000 I know he gets out of bed.
00:32:33.000 So that's her when she was a young, gorgeous star, and this is her now.
00:32:38.000 That seems, 18 seems a little high.
00:32:41.000 this list is constantly changing.
00:32:43.000 17, the chick in the USAA ad, who's pregnant, so that's kind of perverted of you to put her there.
00:32:51.000 But yeah, this chick does an insurance ad, and I don't want to take away a wife from a military man, but if God forbid anything happens to him, this would be a good wife. 1.00
00:33:01.000 16, Tulsi Gabbard, old as hell.
00:33:05.000 I think she might be my age.
00:33:07.000 And in some pictures, she has a white streak in her hair.
00:33:10.000 She is a keeper.
00:33:12.000 Although I think she hates Trump.
00:33:14.000 15, of course.
00:33:15.000 Now they're getting easy.
00:33:16.000 Kimberly Guilfoyle.
00:33:18.000 With that Katie Mixon picture, I was doubting myself and thinking about changing the list.
00:33:22.000 But now it's going to be all smooth sailing.
00:33:23.000 Kimberly Guilfoil, as one guy at a bar put it to me, he said, she is the kind of woman you would kill your kids on Christmas morning just to be able to eat her ass. 1.00
00:33:35.000 That's highly offensive.
00:33:37.000 And I don't agree with that.
00:33:38.000 But she inspires hyperbole. 1.00
00:33:40.000 Oof.
00:33:43.000 This is not a good...
00:33:47.000 Find a better picture of her because, or she's off.
00:33:50.000 That's 24 material, not very close to the top 10.
00:33:58.000 Okay, that's much better.
00:33:59.000 Oh, and another thing that's incredibly attractive about her is she does these YouTube videos where she torments telemarketers and she cracks herself up, and that's very attractive. 0.94
00:34:12.000 But yeah, I'm having second thoughts about her.
00:34:15.000 13.
00:34:16.000 We already talked about her.
00:34:17.000 Demi Lovato, again, has the like, you'd be a great mom vibe.
00:34:22.000 You choose the worst pictures, Ryan.
00:34:24.000 What do you think of her?
00:34:25.000 Do you find her attractive?
00:34:30.000 She has the that's my friend's sister vibe.
00:34:32.000 Why can't we see you?
00:34:33.000 Is that too much technology?
00:34:36.000 I can make it happen.
00:34:37.000 Well, let's see it.
00:34:38.000 Oh, uh-oh, behind the scenes.
00:34:42.000 Yeah, a big part, Google Image her too.
00:34:44.000 That's two missions I have for you.
00:34:45.000 A big part of these are, can I spend the rest of my life with you?
00:34:50.000 And I think, Demi, I can tell she will age well.
00:34:53.000 She's going to get fat. 1.00
00:34:55.000 So whoever's out there marrying her, know that she's going to be pretty big when she's in her, when she gets closer to 50. 0.58
00:35:01.000 But that's going to be great.
00:35:02.000 More cushioned for the pushin'.
00:35:05.000 Can you Google image her yet?
00:35:07.000 Slow ass? 1.00
00:35:08.000 Well, I'm doing, I'm catching up.
00:35:11.000 Okay.
00:35:11.000 And what am I doing?
00:35:13.000 What are you doing?
00:35:15.000 This is live.
00:35:16.000 Do this.
00:35:17.000 Do what?
00:35:19.000 Why are you so slow?
00:35:22.000 What an incompetent boob. 1.00
00:35:24.000 Oh, this is the guy.
00:35:25.000 Now, who is the sexiest so far, Ryan?
00:35:27.000 Would you say?
00:35:28.000 Oh, my God.
00:35:30.000 That'll be taken out.
00:35:31.000 Who's the sexiest so far? 0.99
00:35:33.000 Let's see your face.
00:35:35.000 You are, boss.
00:35:36.000 No, no.
00:35:37.000 Out of the list so far, who is the sexiest, do you think?
00:35:41.000 Let's see your face.
00:35:43.000 Oh, you can remember.
00:35:45.000 Who's the sexiest so far? 0.99
00:35:47.000 Well, who's number one?
00:35:49.000 No, no.
00:35:49.000 Out of the ones we've said, so far.
00:35:51.000 This is an undeniable list.
00:35:53.000 Who's the sexiest so far? 0.99
00:35:55.000 It would be Kimbra.
00:35:57.000 No, that's the number one on the list.
00:35:59.000 I said that we've mentioned so far.
00:36:01.000 You dunce.
00:36:02.000 Well, that would be because it's the last one, Demi Lovato.
00:36:06.000 Because she's 13.
00:36:07.000 That is the last number.
00:36:09.000 So mathematically, the closest to one means the sexiest.
00:36:12.000 Okay, so Google image her.
00:36:14.000 And while you looked that up, I just want to announce to the folks at home that Ryan is so pussy whipped. 0.63
00:36:19.000 No, I'm in love.
00:36:20.000 He will not ever describe a beautiful woman because his girlfriend has forbidden it.
00:36:26.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:36:27.000 So he's not allowed to say women are attractive.
00:36:31.000 That's why he's hiding from this question.
00:36:33.000 Have you ever seen anything more pathetic?
00:36:36.000 Happy wife, happy life.
00:36:37.000 Yeah, my wife's perfectly happy with this. 1.00
00:36:39.000 I'm not sitting here fondling myself looking at women. 0.76
00:36:42.000 We're just discussing beauty.
00:36:45.000 God, you let your girlfriend tell you what to think, you loser.
00:36:49.000 Nope.
00:36:50.000 Yes, yep.
00:36:51.000 All right, let's see more of her.
00:36:53.000 She's kind of tacky and trashy, too.
00:36:54.000 I think I mentioned that.
00:36:55.000 Ooh, that's very masculine.
00:36:56.000 And I'm racist against Italians. 0.95
00:36:58.000 You're racist against Italians?
00:36:59.000 I'm developing a hatred for the Italian. 1.00
00:37:01.000 Oh, I love Italians.
00:37:02.000 The great thing about Italians, too, is she'll be wearing stilettos when she's 60. 1.00
00:37:06.000 Whoa, that one is a zinger. 0.89
00:37:08.000 Okay, let's get back to work here.
00:37:11.000 Number 12, and I am deeply sorry that it took me so long to remember Lisa Booth, the Bambi cartoon.
00:37:21.000 You're going to have a cartoon in your house forever if you marry her, and she's going to age well. 0.89
00:37:27.000 Number 11, of course, was Natasia.
00:37:30.000 Look at her.
00:37:31.000 Oh, my God.
00:37:32.000 Just hanging out with her.
00:37:33.000 I bet she's just shooting the shit. 1.00
00:37:34.000 It's just heaven.
00:37:35.000 Just having, screw screwing her. 0.99
00:37:38.000 Imagine having tea with her.
00:37:40.000 And I said I. I didn't mean I. I meant you.
00:37:44.000 Number 10, Naomi Scott, in the Charlie's Angels reboot.
00:37:47.000 She Google images real well, too.
00:37:49.000 Lots of variety with her. 0.71
00:37:51.000 Number nine, Nuala from the show Escaping Alaska.
00:37:55.000 I married one of these.
00:37:57.000 I cannot recommend Indians enough.
00:37:59.000 They can be pretty hard to court because the ones that were welcoming to white people are all dead.
00:38:05.000 So we're just left with the grumpy ones.
00:38:07.000 But once you can get through that hard shell exterior, they're the best.
00:38:12.000 And they can drink.
00:38:14.000 Number eight, Emmanuel Chirqui.
00:38:18.000 Oh, now she's a Moroccan Jew from Montreal. 0.97
00:38:23.000 You could just read that on paper and know that she's going to be an insane 10. 1.00
00:38:29.000 And she probably has great tits. 1.00
00:38:31.000 We've noticed that with the Jews. 1.00
00:38:33.000 Number seven, Kat Dennings, another Jew with fantastic bosom. 1.00
00:38:37.000 I don't like her.
00:38:38.000 I bet she's annoying. 1.00
00:38:39.000 She's probably an actress. 1.00
00:38:41.000 And we are basing a lot of personality on this.
00:38:44.000 It's not just looks.
00:38:46.000 So, but those boobs, I mean, she could be a mass murderer. 1.00
00:38:51.000 And I think she could be an abortion doctor who only does third trimester abortions illegally in a basement. 1.00
00:38:57.000 And I feel like we could work something up.
00:39:00.000 Number six, Grace Fulton. 1.00
00:39:04.000 I just discovered her in the movie Shazam.
00:39:06.000 She usually does horror movies. 0.98
00:39:07.000 That's what she's in front of. 0.70
00:39:09.000 What an insane knockout. 1.00
00:39:11.000 Now it's all creme de la creme.
00:39:13.000 Number five, of course, Kim Taylor Bennett, who is unbelievably gorgeous, but I don't think you could ever get her, so just ogle her. 1.00
00:39:23.000 Number four, Camilla Cabello.
00:39:26.000 Now, this is weird, too, because she's a famous person.
00:39:29.000 She looks like Leah Michelle.
00:39:30.000 She's a famous person.
00:39:31.000 I left a lot of famous people out of this list because I feel like they'd be annoying.
00:39:34.000 That's a bad picture of her, dude. 1.00
00:39:36.000 I'm going to send you new pictures.
00:39:37.000 But in that movie, and the beginning of that video is super funny.
00:39:42.000 So I think she's hilarious. 0.99
00:39:46.000 Third most beautiful person in the world is Larissa Swanson from an episode of The Prophet where her dad was a shady fish salesman who kept burning down his properties, I believe, as an insurance scam.
00:40:03.000 But holy crap, what a looker.
00:40:05.000 And again, that's one of the worst pictures you could possibly find of her. 1.00
00:40:08.000 Number two, Sonoya Mizuno.
00:40:12.000 Just, I would, you should marry this if it has, if she's in a coma. 0.96
00:40:20.000 If she's in a coma at the hospital, you should get married and have the ceremony at the hospital. 0.97
00:40:25.000 She is perfect.
00:40:27.000 And I know this is just from a silly movie, but that is a great look, ladies.
00:40:31.000 I'm not a big bob guy, but if you got, you know, full-bodied hair, this is a great look.
00:40:36.000 She's British, by the way. 0.94
00:40:38.000 And you know what else about Sonoya that makes her unbelievably awesome?
00:40:42.000 She's a ballerina. 1.00
00:40:44.000 She's a very accomplished ballerina. 0.98
00:40:47.000 That's why she's the second most beautiful woman in the world on the inside and the out.
00:40:52.000 And of course, always in the top spot is the breathtakingly gorgeous Kimbra, who's also a talented musician. 1.00
00:41:00.000 And she's in that song, Somebody That I Used to Know.
00:41:02.000 I think she co-wrote it with that other guy.
00:41:04.000 And that is the up-to-date 25 Most Beautiful Women in the World. 0.97
00:41:11.000 All-American, swim those laps.
00:41:14.000 All-American, boy.
00:41:15.000 Make that call.
00:41:18.000 It's funny that I said we're going to overhaul that list, and I came from it thinking it needs some serious overhauls.
00:41:25.000 Like, I don't like Demi Lovato in there anymore, and I don't like that American housewife's chick. 1.00
00:41:30.000 Sorry, but you're not pretty anymore.
00:41:32.000 Or the pole vaulter, right?
00:41:34.000 The pole vaulter, I want her out of there. 1.00
00:41:36.000 She has a six-pack.
00:41:37.000 Imagine you're going down on a woman and you look up and there's some David Beckham stomach in front of your eyes.
00:41:44.000 That's not the deal.
00:41:45.000 We like a little flesh down there.
00:41:47.000 It's a third boob.
00:41:50.000 I want to talk about something.
00:41:52.000 I saw that there's a new movie out where this white guy is a black woman.
00:42:00.000 Can we see the trailer for that?
00:42:01.000 See if you can dig up the trailer for that.
00:42:03.000 But everyone is furious.
00:42:04.000 They're calling it blackface.
00:42:05.000 And I'm realizing that blackface is not over in America. 0.52
00:42:09.000 It's actually pretty darn popular.
00:42:12.000 Can you show the tweet there?
00:42:14.000 What in the blackface hell is this? 1.00
00:42:17.000 That's actually a kind of a cool sentence, isn't it?
00:42:21.000 I like the cadence of that.
00:42:23.000 What in the blackface hell is this? 1.00
00:42:24.000 I'm going to start saying that.
00:42:26.000 Like when something is crazy, I'll just go, what in the blackface hell? 1.00
00:42:30.000 Get down from there.
00:42:32.000 That is pretty fun.
00:42:33.000 Yeah, when you go into the kitchen, the kids are having a food fight, and you're like, what in the blackface hell is going on in here? 1.00
00:42:39.000 I think the confusion helps the chaos stop, too.
00:42:41.000 They're like, what?
00:42:42.000 What are you saying?
00:42:43.000 Blackface hell? 0.98
00:42:44.000 What is blackface hell? 1.00
00:42:46.000 The Clumps.
00:42:48.000 Go back, go back.
00:42:48.000 I want to see his tweet.
00:42:50.000 Laquitia is the hilarious, heartwarming story of Joe, an astute, underachieving Detroit bartender of Valerie's Truth, blah, blah, blah, who does a black female personality. 0.99
00:42:58.000 And he becomes a successful radio star.
00:43:01.000 And then as he gets more and more popular, I think he has to hire like an actress to play him.
00:43:06.000 But do they do a black woman's voice or do they have him doing a black woman's voice?
00:43:11.000 Find the trailer.
00:43:14.000 But I realize that this is not uncommon.
00:43:17.000 It's a thing.
00:43:17.000 And by the way, blackface is grossly misunderstood.
00:43:22.000 Blackface is often in history, in the 50s, it was used to lampoon African Americans.
00:43:32.000 But maybe 10 to 15% of the time.
00:43:35.000 The other 80, 85% of the time, it was actually an homage to blacks. 0.95
00:43:40.000 Whites sensed they were boring. 0.96
00:43:42.000 Remember, these were the Puritans who came here.
00:43:45.000 And after blacks were liberated from slavery, white people thought they were cool and exciting.
00:43:51.000 Yes, there was, of course, racism.
00:43:53.000 But they were also deeply enamored with African peoples.
00:43:57.000 And so when they were on stage, they would dress up as them and say, I'm one of these exciting Negroes that you keep seeing around town.
00:44:04.000 And then in Europe, it was totally mainstream and it wasn't racist.
00:44:08.000 There was a show when I was a kid in England called the Black and White Minstrel Show.
00:44:13.000 See if you can dig that up.
00:44:14.000 And it was on Friday nights at 8 p.m.
00:44:17.000 And it was like a vaudevillian entertainment show where every single person on it had black face. 0.65
00:44:24.000 No, the black and white minstrel show.
00:44:27.000 It's a video.
00:44:29.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:44:31.000 Yeah, well, clearly I want a video.
00:44:32.000 We're a video show.
00:44:34.000 What is this, an article?
00:44:35.000 Are we an article?
00:44:37.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:44:38.000 There, they're wearing sombreros.
00:44:40.000 This was a very popular show, and it wasn't meant to lampoon black people.
00:44:45.000 And then you have Black Pete in the Netherlands, who is Santa's right-hand man, and everyone in town wears blackface to celebrate Santa's black, I guess, helper. 0.88
00:44:58.000 So we're just so desperate for racism, though, that we find that percentage of blackface that was lampooning blacks and then say anyone.
00:45:05.000 Like Fred Armerson, when he played Barack Obama on SNL, he couldn't make his face darker because that would be blackface. 1.00
00:45:13.000 So it just looked like Barack Obama has food poisoning and he's really, really sick.
00:45:18.000 All right, let's play the Laquitia trailer.
00:45:18.000 Yeah.
00:45:21.000 I'm really just talking to myself.
00:45:24.000 I don't charge for my advice.
00:45:26.000 Well, you should, because it was amazing.
00:45:29.000 I saw this And I thought of you.
00:45:31.000 You will be a hit in no time.
00:45:32.000 Welcome to the Joe Show.
00:45:34.000 I submitted myself to a radio station for my own show.
00:45:38.000 Congratulations.
00:45:39.000 They rejected me.
00:45:40.000 Well, congratulations.
00:45:43.000 You weren't right for your own show.
00:45:45.000 You aren't good at playing drunk.
00:45:47.000 Need to get the money for this school.
00:45:50.000 $13,000 a semester?
00:45:53.000 Dashie needs her own show. 1.00
00:45:54.000 If I was a black woman, I'd be perfect. 0.87
00:46:00.000 She's brilliant.
00:46:01.000 I know.
00:46:01.000 Get her into the biggest thing in radio.
00:46:05.000 But I still need my inanimity.
00:46:06.000 You nervous?
00:46:07.000 That doesn't sound like a black woman. 1.00
00:46:10.000 It sounds like a white guy doing a black woman's voice.
00:46:13.000 What's your problem?
00:46:13.000 Hi, Luquisha.
00:46:14.000 Hi, Luquisha.
00:46:15.000 It's free.
00:46:16.000 Oh, I ain't talking to you.
00:46:18.000 Not the way you sound.
00:46:19.000 Next caller.
00:46:19.000 You go, girl.
00:46:21.000 You just be good to her.
00:46:22.000 If you good to yourself.
00:46:24.000 Let's hear you do a black woman's voice. 1.00
00:46:24.000 All right, that's enough. 1.00
00:46:27.000 I ain't fucking with y'all, motherfuckers.
00:46:30.000 On the swearing episode.
00:46:31.000 I'm sure I could do another one.
00:46:35.000 So that movie's getting some.
00:46:38.000 I bet that they're super politically correct at the end, and he's really sorry.
00:46:43.000 I bet it's a PC movie, but just the concept is getting them in trouble.
00:46:48.000 But this is not a foreign concept.
00:46:50.000 Like there's a movie where David Cross plays a guy who, no, it's a black guy who speaks white, and they use David Cross's voice, and his life becomes super successful after he becomes a white guy. 0.55
00:47:04.000 So white face, the exact same premise, is reversed, and that's totally fine because you're recognizing that white people get all this privilege they don't deserve.
00:47:14.000 It's just based on their voice.
00:47:17.000 I'm just out here surviving.
00:47:21.000 And what I'm doing right now won't even matter.
00:47:23.000 Baby, baby, it will always matter.
00:47:30.000 It's like showing a sex scene in a trailer.
00:47:39.000 Is this trailer the longest trailer in the world?
00:47:43.000 God made this land for all of us.
00:47:45.000 Greedy people like you want to hog it to yourself and just jump ahead, dude.
00:47:48.000 This is tedious.
00:47:51.000 I kind of like him.
00:47:52.000 This is Langston from Regal View.
00:47:54.000 As always, we'll be getting that out to you right away.
00:48:00.000 You're doing so good with the voice thing.
00:48:02.000 Holla, holla, holla, holla, holla.
00:48:04.000 Oh, yeah.
00:48:06.000 All right.
00:48:07.000 So that's fine.
00:48:08.000 You can be a black guy doing a white guy. 0.88
00:48:10.000 You can't do a white guy doing a black person.
00:48:13.000 But this is happening in real life.
00:48:15.000 Do you remember Mindy Kaling's brother got into med school as a black man?
00:48:20.000 So he's Indian, as you may have guessed from Mindy Kaling's face.
00:48:24.000 And he shaved his head bald.
00:48:26.000 He did a Sean King.
00:48:28.000 He cut his hair so short, you couldn't tell that it wasn't an Afro. 1.00
00:48:33.000 But he talked about how he had perfect grades, and so did his friend, and they couldn't get into med school.
00:48:39.000 So his buddy's name was Boots.
00:48:41.000 What happened to Boots next chilled me to my marrow?
00:48:43.000 He began applying to medical schools, and we both figured we would sail through, get many interviews, and then have his pick.
00:48:48.000 Boots was a year older, and medical school was everything he'd worked for since starting at the University of Chicago.
00:48:52.000 His grades and test scores were better than mine because, unlike me, he actually studied.
00:48:56.000 But when he applied to 15 medical schools, got only two interviews and was accepted to exactly zero schools.
00:49:04.000 He felt like a college running back who thinks he'll go to the Patriots in the second round and is done when he's relegated to play in the CFL.
00:49:10.000 So, and Mindy must have been pissed about this because it was all over the news. 0.88
00:49:15.000 So, he pretended to be black and got into med school.
00:49:20.000 Now, you know what's weird?
00:49:21.000 When Elizabeth Warren did that and pretended she was an American Indian, it pissed me off because she's taking a place in American Indian, a real one could have had. 1.00
00:49:30.000 But this case, it doesn't piss me off.
00:49:33.000 Why is that?
00:49:34.000 I guess because I'm a hypocrite.
00:49:37.000 Third example, a white guy pretended to be Chinese for a poetry contest, and it worked.
00:49:46.000 At the back of the 2015 edition of the Best American Poetry Posey, Yi Fen Chao is revealed as the pen name of Michael Derek Hudson from Indiana.
00:49:55.000 Hudson writes that his poem chosen for the anthology, The Bees, the Flowers, Jesus, Ancient Tigers, Poseidon, Adam, and Eve, was rejected under his real name 40 times before he sent it out as Yi Fen Chao, when it was rejected nine times before getting accepted.
00:50:10.000 If indeed this is one of the best American poems of 2015, it took quite a bit of effort to get it into print.
00:50:16.000 But I'm nothing if not persistent, writes Hudson.
00:50:20.000 This is the tangled web we weave when we ignore truth and meritocracy and try to correct the universe that God made.
00:50:29.000 If someone is qualified for medical school, by the way, I'm about to say a bunch of horrible, racist, revolutionary, radical stuff.
00:50:37.000 You ready for this?
00:50:39.000 If someone is good at giving advice, they should have a radio show.
00:50:44.000 If a man is on the phone and has a black accent, he should still be effective. 0.99
00:50:51.000 If a man is qualified for medical school, he should get in.
00:50:55.000 If a guy writes a good poem, the merit of that poem should be based on the poem.
00:51:02.000 How did we get here in this savage clown world where we're constantly trying to correct society's wrongs?
00:51:08.000 All right, we're out of time.
00:51:10.000 I want to end with an optimistic video here on the swearing episode.
00:51:16.000 This is a guy doing what we would all do if we saw a sloth.
00:51:19.000 He's picking it up and putting it on a tree.
00:51:22.000 And because sloths might be the coolest animal in the world, I think I want to pet sloth.
00:51:28.000 Can you get, is it legal to domesticate them?
00:51:30.000 I'll find out.
00:51:31.000 They probably poo once a month.
00:51:33.000 They're like women. 1.00
00:51:34.000 They're like slow.
00:51:34.000 You can catch it.
00:51:35.000 When they're about to shit on your fucking carpet, you can catch them.
00:51:38.000 Yeah.
00:51:39.000 You just put a little tissue down.
00:51:40.000 Hey, dude, don't do that.
00:51:41.000 We'll be back in an hour.
00:51:42.000 I'm going to get some milk while you shit before it touches the carpet. 1.00
00:51:45.000 Watch your potty mouth. 1.00
00:51:46.000 We allow swearing on this show, but it shouldn't become a crutch.
00:51:49.000 All right, show this guy.
00:51:52.000 Sorry, can you just pause it here?
00:51:54.000 Hey, God, if you're watching, what is a sloth's defense for predators?
00:52:01.000 Guilt.
00:52:02.000 Like a turtle has a shell.
00:52:04.000 Other things, maybe they taste really disgusting.
00:52:08.000 They don't look like they're up for much of a fight.
00:52:11.000 They look cute, so you don't want to pass with them.
00:52:14.000 I feel like a mouse could eat it.
00:52:16.000 Just take little bites as is his want.
00:52:19.000 Stop.
00:52:21.000 Hey, man, stop eating me, dude.
00:52:24.000 Look at him.
00:52:25.000 What's better than a sloth?
00:52:28.000 I can't believe I called Opie Hughes a torpid sloth.
00:52:32.000 You did call him that, yes.
00:52:33.000 Because it's a compliment.
00:52:34.000 Yeah.
00:52:35.000 He's a sloth.
00:52:36.000 Well, it's not great on a comedy talk show.
00:52:39.000 But look at this guy.
00:52:41.000 And I love that the dude doesn't just drop him off.
00:52:43.000 He makes sure he's got the tree.
00:52:45.000 You good?
00:52:46.000 You good?
00:52:46.000 You got it?
00:52:47.000 You got it?
00:52:47.000 It just starts climbing.
00:52:48.000 Let me get your leg there. 1.00
00:52:49.000 Yeah, you good?
00:52:50.000 And then check it out.
00:52:51.000 He says, bye.
00:52:52.000 And the sloth's like, see you later, dudes.
00:52:58.000 And he smiles.
00:52:59.000 Look at his face.
00:53:01.000 Hey, man.
00:53:02.000 I'm really, really stoned.
00:53:05.000 I had edibles.
00:53:06.000 I like your new sunglasses.
00:53:09.000 You're the sunglasses.
00:53:09.000 I like your new sunglasses.
00:53:10.000 Bye.
00:53:12.000 Thank you.
00:53:13.000 Thank you.
00:53:15.000 Get fired.
00:53:16.000 Get in trouble.
00:53:17.000 Be brave.