Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 17, 2019


S02E10 - FINALLY, NICK


Episode Stats


Length

57 minutes

Words per minute

174.70175

Word count

9,958

Sentence count

1,057

Harmful content

Misogyny

94

sentences flagged

Hate speech

72

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Kevin and Yusong talk about Tommy Robinson's failed attempt to become a British MP, AOC's new tweet about Trump, and the return of the Beano character from the 80s, Dennis the Menace. Plus, a look at what it's like to grow up in the late 80s and early 90s.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
00:00:25.000 All the stories you were told of the kings and days of old, but there's no England now.
00:00:33.000 There's no England now.
00:00:36.000 All the lies you were told.
00:00:39.000 All the lies are told.
00:00:40.000 That's the kinks, right? 1.00
00:00:42.000 Living on a thin line.
00:00:44.000 Is there no England now?
00:00:47.000 There will be no England if Tommy Robinson is not elected to Parliament, which by the time you see this, will already know.
00:00:54.000 My gut says no.
00:00:56.000 My gut says he will lose, and that's too bad.
00:00:59.000 It would have been epic, Tommy.
00:01:01.000 It would have been.
00:01:03.000 So you know what's going on.
00:01:04.000 He's running for basically the British equivalent of Congress, where he'll be a representative representing Britain in the European Parliament, and it will be done as an F you to the people who refused Brexit.
00:01:18.000 I don't think Americans realize how big of a deal the Brexit refusal was.
00:01:24.000 It would be like the Mueller report came out and said Trump is innocent, and now he's just right now being prosecuted for collusion with Russia.
00:01:32.000 It's the opposite of the evidence.
00:01:35.000 The evidence had British people saying, no, we don't want this.
00:01:39.000 And then the British government going, well, you're getting it.
00:01:42.000 You're getting the European Union.
00:01:43.000 By the way, I'm wearing my little Beano outfit to commemorate the, what is it, the 50th anniversary of Dennis the Menace?
00:01:51.000 I just made up that number, by the way.
00:01:56.000 You don't have to celebrate 50th anniversaries on the exact day.
00:02:00.000 It could be the 57th year.
00:02:02.000 But I grew up with these comics, these British comics.
00:02:05.000 My grandfather from Scotland would send them to me in a big tube with like 100 of them every few months.
00:02:11.000 It was heaven.
00:02:12.000 There'd be candy in there and stuff.
00:02:14.000 God, it was the best.
00:02:15.000 But I decided I want to become a cartoonist.
00:02:18.000 And I was from, you know, when I left college till 21 or two, I said, I'm a cartoonist.
00:02:25.000 And then I realized you can't make any money.
00:02:27.000 There's no way I could ever have a family being a cartoonist.
00:02:31.000 I'd be doomed.
00:02:33.000 So I gave it up.
00:02:34.000 Actually, no, I gave it up after I did it with Vice for a while.
00:02:38.000 That's how I started at Vice as a cartoonist.
00:02:40.000 And then I thought it was more fun to write and do real stuff.
00:02:44.000 It's a very esoteric pursuit, comics.
00:02:49.000 We've got a lot to do.
00:02:50.000 I want to check in on Nick DiPaulo today.
00:02:52.000 How are we doing for Tazim?
00:02:54.000 Tazim?
00:02:55.000 Tazim?
00:02:58.000 30.
00:03:00.000 Okay.
00:03:02.000 I want to see if you can call Nick DiPaulo at some point.
00:03:04.000 And I want to call Sabo.
00:03:06.000 There's a lot going on this weekend.
00:03:09.000 Did you see what he did?
00:03:11.000 Trump called Pete Buddy Gig Alfred E. Newman.
00:03:16.000 And Sabo made a poster of it that is awesome.
00:03:21.000 And the thing I love about it is Pete Buddy Gig is, to quote General Akbar, a trap.
00:03:28.000 They want you to say, that guy's a fag. 1.00
00:03:31.000 And now you look like a traditionalist.
00:03:34.000 In fact, AOC said that.
00:03:36.000 She said, the GOP, they're basically Dwight Schrute.
00:03:38.000 That's what they're going for.
00:03:39.000 We're the squares.
00:03:40.000 We're the losers.
00:03:41.000 We are freaked out by gays. 1.00
00:03:43.000 And Trump refused to take the bait.
00:03:44.000 And he goes, no, he's Alfred E. Newman.
00:03:46.000 Yeah, look at this.
00:03:47.000 We're Dwight Truth.
00:03:48.000 No, lady, you are popular.
00:03:52.000 We are the outcasts.
00:03:54.000 I'm banned from all social media.
00:03:56.000 I remember one time some artist, like cartoonist Nate Turbo, he said, this is me when Gavin McInnis appears in my feeds.
00:04:05.000 And it had John Belushi smashing the guitar, that scene in Animal House, you know, when he's walking down the stairs.
00:04:10.000 See if you can find that.
00:04:13.000 And I said to Nate, who I used to be kind of okay with, what are you doing?
00:04:20.000 No, don't find the tweet.
00:04:21.000 Find the Animal House acoustic guitar scene.
00:04:24.000 Okay.
00:04:28.000 I said, sorry, dude.
00:04:30.000 Who's banned from campus?
00:04:31.000 Who's on double secret probation?
00:04:33.000 I am literally on double secret probation with YouTube right now.
00:04:38.000 So that's what Animal House we're on.
00:04:40.000 That's, what was their threat called?
00:04:42.000 Alpha Beta Phi or something?
00:04:45.000 We are Animal House.
00:04:46.000 That's us.
00:04:47.000 That's Laura Loomer and Alex Jones and Paul Joseph Watson and Jack Pasovic and Mike Cernovich.
00:04:54.000 That's us right there smashing that guitar.
00:04:57.000 You, AOC and the DNC, you're the pussies with the guitar. 1.00
00:05:02.000 I'm sorry.
00:05:04.000 And you try to fight us and you try to trick us by throwing a gay in our face and you think we're going to go, we're dwight trute. 0.83
00:05:10.000 We're scared of days.
00:05:12.000 And we turn him into Alfred E. Newman.
00:05:15.000 And we're going to talk to Sabo, who did that poster.
00:05:17.000 Have you got the Sabo poster?
00:05:19.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:05:20.000 For Pete's sake.
00:05:24.000 He's so good.
00:05:25.000 Yeah.
00:05:26.000 So not only do we not take the bait, but we tricked, and I'll get into that with Sabo about how Pete ended up looking like a buffoon because he's never heard of Alfred E. Newman.
00:05:35.000 And he pretended that's.
00:05:36.000 Alfred E. Newman's still going strong, folks.
00:05:38.000 It's not an old-fashioned thing.
00:05:40.000 And if you don't know who he is, you don't have any kids in your life.
00:05:42.000 And if you don't have any kids in your life, you're not a good president.
00:05:47.000 There, I said it.
00:05:48.000 No one should be president of this country if they're not married with children. 0.98
00:05:53.000 And I think they should be Christian, too.
00:05:55.000 75% of this country is Christian.
00:05:57.000 If you're going to be the president of Pakistan, the prime minister of Pakistan, you should be Muslim. 1.00
00:06:03.000 In other news, Sarah Silverman showed her tits this weekend. 0.99
00:06:08.000 They're great.
00:06:09.000 Sarah Silverman posted a photo of Naked Breast Instagram to make a critical point.
00:06:14.000 Critical point.
00:06:15.000 Crucial.
00:06:16.000 I'm a feminist. 1.00
00:06:17.000 This is when I get to be a feminist. 1.00
00:06:18.000 We would like to see more tits, please. 1.00
00:06:21.000 You see them in New York, too, going, we want the right to be barechested.
00:06:27.000 And it's totally And utterly legal in New York City.
00:06:32.000 So I don't know what you're protesting, fat lesbians. 1.00
00:06:35.000 And here's another thing: men like to see boobies. 0.71
00:06:39.000 So we want you to do that.
00:06:41.000 But, and this is something feminists are having a lot of trouble understanding: women are different than men. 1.00
00:06:46.000 Did you know that?
00:06:48.000 Women are sexually attractive. 1.00
00:06:50.000 A woman's bum bum looks different than a man's bum bum. 1.00
00:06:53.000 That's why you don't see women mooning very much. 1.00
00:06:56.000 When a man moons, it's funny.
00:06:58.000 When a woman moons, oh, that's what she put up too. 1.00
00:07:00.000 When a woman moons, it's erotic. 0.99
00:07:03.000 Because women are attractive. 1.00
00:07:05.000 They are more likely to be sex objects than men.
00:07:08.000 Doy.
00:07:09.000 Let's go see the picture, though, because I want to talk about tits for a second. 1.00
00:07:12.000 It's on the same post.
00:07:14.000 You just scroll down.
00:07:15.000 You can see there they are.
00:07:17.000 Now, she's old.
00:07:19.000 I think she's older than me even.
00:07:21.000 I think she might be 50.
00:07:22.000 Those are great tits for a 50-year-old.
00:07:25.000 Now, I know you youngsters don't like anything that's not two basketballs, but you'll mature.
00:07:30.000 You'll get to this level of gourmand, where we have a much wider spectrum of boob tastes. 1.00
00:07:37.000 And we love those.
00:07:39.000 No, let's keep them going.
00:07:40.000 And we can have it on the show.
00:07:41.000 It doesn't count as nudity because it's a political statement.
00:07:46.000 And it brings the question, I think, to most men's mind, why do Jews always have such great tits? 1.00
00:07:52.000 Hispanic women tend to have big tits, but they're good and bad, and there's often droopers. 1.00
00:08:02.000 But Jewish women, like Scarlett Johansson, or remember Punky Brewster? 1.00
00:08:08.000 She was a cute little child actress that grew into a woman with tits bigger than this entire studio. 1.00
00:08:14.000 The biggest tits in the world. 0.93
00:08:16.000 Guinness World Records tits.
00:08:18.000 Guinness World Record tits.
00:08:19.000 Like tits you wouldn't want as a husband or as the owner. 1.00
00:08:23.000 Backbreaking tits she had. 1.00
00:08:25.000 She had medical emergency tits. 1.00
00:08:27.000 But find her picture of her with her big boobs. 1.00
00:08:31.000 She's since had them reduced.
00:08:32.000 Yeah, that's her now. 0.99
00:08:33.000 They're normal.
00:08:34.000 But just look up Punky Booster Big Tits, you dumbass. 1.00
00:08:37.000 Why are you being so bad at your job today?
00:08:39.000 Trying to find...
00:08:43.000 Not good.
00:08:44.000 Would you like that?
00:08:45.000 See, the problem with those on your wife is people come over for dinner and for a Christmas party or something, and you know all the dads are thinking about you and what you do with those and how lucky you are.
00:09:00.000 And it's like the elephants in the room.
00:09:03.000 It's constantly on everyone's mind.
00:09:07.000 Anyway, look her up. 0.99
00:09:08.000 Is she Jewish?
00:09:09.000 Because that would really drive my point home.
00:09:12.000 Solile moon fry.
00:09:15.000 Solile.
00:09:16.000 It's called Soleil.
00:09:17.000 It's French for sun.
00:09:18.000 Oh.
00:09:19.000 And I could criticize you for not going to college, but they don't learn stuff like that in college.
00:09:23.000 What's your...
00:09:28.000 Uh-huh.
00:09:31.000 Jew score eight. 0.95
00:09:32.000 That's pretty high.
00:09:35.000 Aren't you just Jewish or not?
00:09:37.000 No.
00:09:38.000 I mean, see, I think.
00:09:39.000 This better not be some white power cycle.
00:09:41.000 We just advertise.
00:09:42.000 But Hasid's are a 10, you know, and she's an eight. 0.96
00:09:48.000 Right?
00:09:50.000 Becoming Jewish is a big ordeal.
00:09:53.000 Ivanka Trump, it took her a long time.
00:09:54.000 She was in two.
00:09:55.000 It's not like being trans, or you just go, I'm a woman.
00:09:57.000 Right.
00:09:58.000 So just find out her ethnicity, dude.
00:10:00.000 Go to Wikipedia, you moron. 0.91
00:10:02.000 She's half Jewish by birth, dabbled in Scientology, but now back to Judaism. 0.75
00:10:07.000 Okay, so is her mother Jewish?
00:10:09.000 Because a lot of people think that they can be Jewish if their dad's Jewish.
00:10:12.000 I'm sorry.
00:10:13.000 That's not how it works.
00:10:19.000 Why are you reading some esoteric site?
00:10:21.000 Go to Wikipedia.
00:10:22.000 Why do I have to tell you this?
00:10:24.000 How can you not know that?
00:10:28.000 Like, why would you go to some weird site that could be Daily Stormer to find out a fact?
00:10:32.000 Not that my Wikipedia has any truth in it, but it does tend to get ethnicity, right?
00:10:39.000 It'll say personal life for the time.
00:10:41.000 Have you ever been to Wikipedia before?
00:10:43.000 Honestly, have you ever?
00:10:45.000 Yes.
00:10:46.000 Okay, it says early life is the next category.
00:10:50.000 Scroll down.
00:10:53.000 Scroll down.
00:10:54.000 Yes.
00:10:55.000 Early life.
00:10:56.000 Fry was born in California, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:58.000 Her father acted.
00:10:59.000 Her mother is a talent actor.
00:11:00.000 Two brothers.
00:11:02.000 Oh.
00:11:04.000 Caterer.
00:11:05.000 Palucci.
00:11:06.000 That doesn't sound very Jewish.
00:11:08.000 It doesn't, does it?
00:11:09.000 All right.
00:11:10.000 Anyway, that was way too long in a theory.
00:11:12.000 the future, we'll try not to waste your time by trying to figure out things.
00:11:15.000 But you cannot deny that the Jewish people, the female Jewish people, seem to have... 1.00
00:11:26.000 It's a whole Twitter page.
00:11:28.000 And they're all breathtakingly gorgeous.
00:11:31.000 And they all have bazooms out the wazoo. 1.00
00:11:34.000 Bazooms out the wazoo. 1.00
00:11:36.000 Yeah.
00:11:37.000 Or a shorter version is just wazooms. 0.99
00:11:42.000 Why are the women in the IDF so hot? 1.00
00:11:44.000 Is that a criteria?
00:11:45.000 Sorry, Fatso.
00:11:47.000 You can't fight.
00:11:49.000 We can't hire you. 0.58
00:11:50.000 Oh, there's some dogs.
00:11:51.000 Okay, they're not all knockouts.
00:11:53.000 All right, that's enough talk.
00:11:55.000 By the way, speaking of Sarah Silverman.
00:11:57.000 Oh, she did a Twitter thing. 1.00
00:11:58.000 Look at how sad this is.
00:12:00.000 I believe this was on Mother's Day, or it was around Mother's Day.
00:12:03.000 I used to live for the smell of my boyfriend's armpits, but I found if I work out hard enough, I can manifest that uber masculine post-coital smell in my own sweet armpits.
00:12:11.000 And I consider that a win.
00:12:14.000 Now, she's got a really Israeli, I think her sister lives in Israel, and she's a big pro-you know, Israel activist with tons of loving children that are her nieces.
00:12:24.000 She must, these aunts with their dried-up ovaries must be around their nieces and just go, well, at least I have a stand-up comedy career. 1.00
00:12:33.000 At least I can tell rude jokes about Jesus.
00:12:37.000 Utterly sad.
00:12:39.000 Almost as sad as a stay-at-home dad, a male nurse, and a male flight attendant.
00:12:44.000 You fucked up, Sarah.
00:12:46.000 And all women who let their ovaries dry up. 1.00
00:12:48.000 Have you noticed that life sucks now?
00:12:51.000 Especially when the libido goes down and men are just want to use you to bang you and you just want to be loved? 0.99
00:12:57.000 You know how much affection you get when you have kids, ladies? 1.00
00:13:00.000 Kids want to hug you.
00:13:01.000 They don't want to hug dads.
00:13:02.000 We're not exactly drowning in hugs.
00:13:04.000 But oh my God, you should have heard my son this weekend.
00:13:06.000 You know what he did?
00:13:08.000 We went to see the movie and he's on his phone.
00:13:11.000 Like he's checking his phone as he sits down, which is unacceptable.
00:13:14.000 I don't care if it's trailers.
00:13:16.000 I go, give me your phone.
00:13:17.000 And he goes, no.
00:13:18.000 Give me your phone.
00:13:20.000 And he goes, and then I hear this, the most audacious thing he's ever said to me in his life.
00:13:25.000 I hear him go, I swear to God.
00:13:33.000 He must have learned that from you.
00:13:35.000 What are you, Ralph Cramden?
00:13:36.000 One of these days, Dad, to the moon.
00:13:39.000 He's just flabbergasting.
00:13:40.000 Meanwhile, I'm giving him popcorn and, you know, allowed to have Coke when you're a kid, right?
00:13:45.000 I'm giving him a Coca-Cola slushie and a large popcorn as he's saying, I swear to God, I lost it, man.
00:13:57.000 He has not seen that phone since.
00:14:00.000 Wow.
00:14:01.000 I considered just ripping him out of the chair.
00:14:03.000 We're going home.
00:14:04.000 I swear to God, one of these days, old man, I'm going to knock your block off.
00:14:11.000 Reminds me of the time once my dad, we pulled into a gas station.
00:14:15.000 It was probably around my dad's age.
00:14:17.000 And my dad said, can you go and fill up the cop?
00:14:20.000 And I went, no.
00:14:22.000 And he just went, right.
00:14:24.000 And then he got out of the car, you know, like Scottish people, their rage is like, he broke the chair as he got out. 1.00
00:14:33.000 And I remember just going, that was a big mistake.
00:14:38.000 I should have put gas in the car.
00:14:39.000 I was in trouble for a long time for that.
00:14:42.000 Gotta watch the attitude there, young man.
00:14:45.000 Speaking of sex in this city, another funny thing happened this weekend.
00:14:52.000 So Georgia has this pretty rich, and I'm pro-life, pretty rich abortion laws. 0.88
00:14:58.000 One miss period and you're done.
00:15:00.000 At any time, I can sense a heartbeat.
00:15:02.000 And the heartbeat can be detected as early as six weeks.
00:15:05.000 And there's other things going on there, like if you go out of state to get an abortion, you can be punished with jail time.
00:15:12.000 Because they see it as murder.
00:15:15.000 Now, again, I don't know why this keeps coming up as a feminist issue. 1.00
00:15:18.000 It's an ethical issue.
00:15:19.000 About 50% of women think that abortion is murder. 0.96
00:15:24.000 So if you make abortion legal, you are allowing murder in a society where these women live. 1.00
00:15:29.000 So what about those women's rights? 1.00
00:15:33.000 Anyway, did we talk about Ben Shapiro, by the way, last episode?
00:15:38.000 I don't think so.
00:15:39.000 He cut an interview short?
00:15:40.000 Nope.
00:15:41.000 Oh, okay.
00:15:42.000 So he was talking on the BBC, and he's talking to a conservative, actually.
00:15:45.000 I think he worked at the American Spectator, but he was calling these laws draconian.
00:15:50.000 And he was saying, do you support these laws?
00:15:53.000 How can you?
00:15:54.000 A woman should go to jail for 40 days. 1.00
00:15:57.000 Look it up, Wiener Roast.
00:15:59.000 Yeah, I'm in the.
00:16:00.000 It's not in the notes.
00:16:01.000 Oh.
00:16:05.000 No.
00:16:06.000 Are you having your period soon?
00:16:08.000 That's what's going on.
00:16:09.000 It's PMS.
00:16:11.000 Maybe.
00:16:12.000 You have PMS and it's ruining this show.
00:16:14.000 I really thought it would be in the notes.
00:16:16.000 No, I just said, did we talk about this yesterday?
00:16:18.000 Then I wouldn't have put it in the notes if I wasn't sure.
00:16:21.000 I'm sorry, folks at home.
00:16:22.000 You have to see mom and dad fight.
00:16:24.000 And don't Photoshop that into a Zeek Heyle, please. 0.99
00:16:27.000 Uh-oh.
00:16:28.000 So, yeah, Ben Shapiro was on this show, and he cut the interview short because the guy was being a snarky little bitch. 1.00
00:16:35.000 Go ahead.
00:16:37.000 Six weeks is not a return to the dark ages.
00:16:41.000 What's your answer?
00:16:42.000 My answer is something called science.
00:16:44.000 Human life exists at conception.
00:16:46.000 It ought to be protected.
00:16:47.000 Now, back to my question to you.
00:16:49.000 You purport to be an objective journalist.
00:16:50.000 BBC purports to be an objective down-the-middle network.
00:16:53.000 It obviously is not.
00:16:54.000 It never has been.
00:16:55.000 And you, as a journalist, are proceeding to call one side of the political aisle ignorant, barbaric, and sending us back to the Dark Ages.
00:17:01.000 Why don't you just say that you're on the left?
00:17:03.000 Is this so hard for you?
00:17:04.000 Why can't you just be honest?
00:17:06.000 Seriously, it's a serious question.
00:17:08.000 Mr. Shapiro, if you only knew how ridiculous that statement is, you wouldn't have said it.
00:17:12.000 I just asked you a question.
00:17:14.000 And I asked you a question.
00:17:15.000 You failed to answer a single one of mine.
00:17:17.000 Frankly, I find this whole thing a waste of time.
00:17:19.000 If you want to read the book and critique the book, why don't you read and critique the book?
00:17:22.000 If you want to critique me, you can think whatever you want of me.
00:17:25.000 Why don't you frankly give a damn what you think of me since I've never heard of you?
00:17:30.000 And I've never heard of you until I brief myself for this.
00:17:33.000 But that's not the issue.
00:17:34.000 You haven't read it.
00:17:36.000 It's an interesting book.
00:17:38.000 But my point is, your book claims that you've got to be able to do it.
00:17:40.000 You quote it from time to time.
00:17:41.000 Anyway, your book.
00:17:42.000 Just skip ahead.
00:17:43.000 I've done so several times.
00:17:44.000 Have him leave.
00:17:45.000 He does something that drives me nuts, by the way.
00:17:47.000 All right.
00:17:47.000 Well, thank you for your time and for showing that anger is not part of American political discourse now, Mr. Shapiro.
00:17:54.000 We'll say goodbye.
00:17:55.000 Yeah.
00:17:56.000 They're removing the mic.
00:17:57.000 Drives me nuts.
00:17:58.000 You're in a rage.
00:18:00.000 Okay?
00:18:01.000 Just walk up and leave.
00:18:03.000 Let the mic break. 0.61
00:18:05.000 Let the lav slip behind you.
00:18:06.000 Let their things fall on the ground.
00:18:08.000 You're like, screw you.
00:18:10.000 I'm done with this place.
00:18:11.000 Fuck everyone here.
00:18:13.000 Thank you Okay.
00:18:25.000 Now I'm out.
00:18:28.000 What is that?
00:18:30.000 Why are you so worried about their $136 mic cord?
00:18:34.000 Leave. 0.99
00:18:35.000 Storm out.
00:18:35.000 This is a rage.
00:18:36.000 People don't know how to have temper tantrums anymore. 0.97
00:18:38.000 I saw a kid at baseball.
00:18:40.000 He lost his temper and he threw his mid on the ground and started jumping on it on third base and he was removed from the game.
00:18:45.000 And like, I'm not a baseball expert, so I try to keep my mouth shut, but I was watching it going, I was disappointed in that temper tantrum.
00:18:53.000 I think he should have whipped his glove over the fence or something or kicked the wall.
00:18:57.000 What's the matter with losing your temper?
00:18:59.000 Having a temper tantrum is a very healthy thing.
00:19:02.000 Like, who's that fix-me guy?
00:19:04.000 That comedian, Joe Fixing Joe?
00:19:08.000 Fixing Joe.
00:19:09.000 Joe Mataris?
00:19:10.000 Joe Mataris.
00:19:10.000 I talked to him once, the comedian, and he was like, yo, I used to be really bad, man.
00:19:16.000 I would lose my temper.
00:19:18.000 I'm not doing a good Joe, man.
00:19:20.000 Can you do a Joe?
00:19:20.000 Yeah.
00:19:21.000 Yeah, I was losing my temper.
00:19:22.000 Use your camera.
00:19:23.000 I was losing my temper really bad.
00:19:24.000 Wait, why aren't we seeing you?
00:19:26.000 Because you got to give me a second.
00:19:28.000 Oh.
00:19:31.000 Long ass second, dude.
00:19:33.000 Now it's working.
00:19:34.000 Now it's back on there.
00:19:36.000 I was losing my mind up there, man.
00:19:38.000 I was going crazy.
00:19:39.000 And I had to do my Prolexa.
00:19:41.000 I was on my Prolexa at the time.
00:19:43.000 Yeah, he's always talking about his medication.
00:19:45.000 It's so unmanly.
00:19:46.000 Yeah.
00:19:47.000 It's like Nick DiPaulo was talking about how guys wearing helmets.
00:19:51.000 You should find that bit.
00:19:53.000 It's downright embarrassing how many men wear, grown men wear helmets. 1.00
00:19:57.000 Go to a ski hill, everyone has a helmet on.
00:20:00.000 100% of fatalities on the ski hill come from the guy not wearing a helmet.
00:20:06.000 Yeah.
00:20:06.000 And how many fatalities is that?
00:20:08.000 One a year?
00:20:09.000 Two a year?
00:20:10.000 It's not common out of the billions of times people are going down a ski hill.
00:20:15.000 But anyway, sorry.
00:20:16.000 All right, you can show that.
00:20:18.000 This is Joe Mataris, basically, talking about his medication.
00:20:22.000 A fucking helmet.
00:20:23.000 What's a raccoon going to throw a rock at you?
00:20:28.000 Everybody's like a safety nut.
00:20:29.000 I'm on my bike in the woods in Westchester County, New York.
00:20:32.000 I'm in the woods on a Sunday afternoon on my bike.
00:20:34.000 There's a guy coming at me my age.
00:20:36.000 No kids with him.
00:20:37.000 In the woods, remind you.
00:20:38.000 He's got a helmet on.
00:20:42.000 A fucking helmet.
00:20:43.000 What's a raccoon going to throw a rock at you?
00:20:45.000 What are you doing?
00:20:47.000 Really?
00:20:50.000 Don't you have to think about these decisions before you make them?
00:20:55.000 Don't you?
00:20:56.000 Don't you go, let me see.
00:20:58.000 How many guys my age have fallen off their bike and bang their head and die?
00:21:02.000 And what are my chances of getting laid with this stupid helmet on?
00:21:04.000 Yeah, it's nothing.
00:21:06.000 Yeah, I bet your wife, when you put on your little helmet and you're with your wife, I bet she looks over and it's just like, meh.
00:21:13.000 Remember we're talking about Judd Appetow's wife, how she must see him tweeting, this is the very worst humanity has to offer.
00:21:19.000 And she must think, can't you just fuck me? 1.00
00:21:21.000 Just once?
00:21:22.000 Can't you be a man?
00:21:24.000 They said that her middle name was Should Have Married a Real. 1.00
00:21:27.000 Yes, because her name's Leslie Mann. 0.99
00:21:29.000 I have to explain the joke that you don't set up properly.
00:21:33.000 Yeah, so Joe Matarista says, yeah, before I was on my medication, it was really bad.
00:21:38.000 Like I'd punch holes in the wall.
00:21:40.000 Yeah, my entire adult life, I've had a spackle guy. 1.00
00:21:44.000 I have a Mexican who comes in about three times a year and just fixes the holes in the wall. 0.69
00:21:52.000 Even I kicked a hole through the door at the Cumia studio because the lock was kind of jiggly.
00:21:57.000 That's right.
00:21:58.000 That hole is still there.
00:21:59.000 That's part of being a man.
00:22:00.000 I remember one time when I was a kid, my dad's foot came into my room.
00:22:08.000 Their bedroom was next to my room, by the way.
00:22:12.000 They also shamelessly would have sex and the headboard would go bang, bang, bang, bang against my wall. 0.96
00:22:17.000 That's terrible.
00:22:18.000 I look back at that now.
00:22:19.000 Like then I was just like, oh, shut up and put my pillow over my head.
00:22:22.000 Now I look back, that was bizarre.
00:22:25.000 But yeah, he put his foot.
00:22:26.000 It looks like you're involved.
00:22:27.000 He put his foot through the wall.
00:22:29.000 It was after his parents died.
00:22:30.000 I can't remember.
00:22:31.000 His mom died.
00:22:33.000 Your grandmother.
00:22:34.000 Yeah.
00:22:35.000 So, by the way, back to that Ben Shapiro thing briefly.
00:22:39.000 I don't think Americans, speaking of the British upbringing, quite get the devil's advocacy that Brits like to do.
00:22:47.000 So what that guy who is a conservative was doing was he was setting up an egregious argument for Ben to knock down.
00:22:54.000 So he said, tell me, Ben, why this abortion law isn't an example of us going back into the dark ages.
00:23:02.000 The interviewer doesn't think that abortion, that abortion law is putting us back into the dark ages.
00:23:07.000 But he wants, he's setting up Ben to explain why.
00:23:10.000 But Ben didn't get the nuance and he thought he was talking to a liberal.
00:23:14.000 Can you call Nick DiPaulo?
00:23:16.000 Yeah.
00:23:18.000 Because he just moved to Georgia where this law, it's funny, everyone's talking about banning Georgia and Nick DePaulo gets in his U-Haul and moves there.
00:23:26.000 Yeah.
00:23:28.000 Yeah.
00:23:30.000 Yeah, but wait, before we talk to Nick, assuming you can get him.
00:23:36.000 So they make this abortion law and it pisses everyone off.
00:23:39.000 So the feminists come up with a plan. 1.00
00:23:40.000 You know what they're going to do?
00:23:42.000 They are going on sex strike.
00:23:46.000 Just to be clear here, traditionalist Christians in Georgia get their way and they say there's too much premarital sex going on.
00:23:55.000 Abortion is being used as birth control.
00:23:57.000 I've had enough of it.
00:23:59.000 We think it's murder.
00:24:00.000 So stop.
00:24:01.000 And you know what the feminists say in retaliation? 1.00
00:24:03.000 They go, oh yeah, we're not having any more premarital sex.
00:24:08.000 Sex strike.
00:24:11.000 And I think they got it from, I think there was some Indian tribe like the Navajos stopped some civil war with some other tiny group, like a division of an Indian tribe, and it worked.
00:24:21.000 Their sex strike worked and the warriors stopped killing each other.
00:24:24.000 It doesn't apply to modern Georgia law, state law.
00:24:30.000 So these dumb feminists have gone on a sex strike and refused to have sex with their wimpy liberal boyfriends. 1.00
00:24:38.000 What?
00:24:38.000 They were going to have tons of sex with conservatives.
00:24:40.000 And they've essentially done exactly what the bill was designed to do.
00:24:44.000 Encourage marriage, encourage marital sex, and discourage premarital sex. 0.96
00:24:49.000 Sex strike.
00:24:51.000 How?
00:24:52.000 They're so bad at this.
00:24:53.000 This is what I keep saying.
00:24:55.000 We are not dealing with worthy adversaries.
00:24:59.000 Watching guys explain that women don't like sex has been the greatest parade of self-owns I've ever seen.
00:25:04.000 Sex strike.
00:25:06.000 They do not get it at all.
00:25:09.000 All right, while we still have Nick on the brain, track him.
00:25:13.000 Please tell me you can just track him down.
00:25:14.000 We're going to hit a bumper first.
00:25:16.000 Okay, bump it out.
00:25:22.000 Nick, are you there, sir?
00:25:24.000 I am, Gavin.
00:25:25.000 Look at you.
00:25:25.000 You look tremendous.
00:25:26.000 I'm going for like a...
00:25:29.000 What the fuck's going on?
00:25:30.000 I'm going for like a British comic book look today.
00:25:33.000 It's sort of the theme of the show.
00:25:35.000 I won't take up too much of your time, but I got to say, we've been listening to A Breath of Fresh Air.
00:25:39.000 I'm reluctant to play any of it on the show that you don't tweet out because I don't want to ruin any of the bits, but it is a breath of fresh air.
00:25:46.000 It sounds like you finally got the gloves off.
00:25:48.000 You know what I mean?
00:25:50.000 Finally.
00:25:52.000 I've been spewing this stuff forever.
00:25:54.000 I mean, it's just the world has become, as you know, nobody knows better than you, increasingly Politically correct to the point where it sounds like I'm getting more radical, which is not the case.
00:26:05.000 I'm just using logic and being honest as far as being a straight, white, old guy who's supposedly the problem.
00:26:16.000 But I've been, you know, I've been doing what I'm doing.
00:26:20.000 And this one, you know, like I said, because the world has gone nuts, this one seems so controversial, apparently, I feel weird about it.
00:26:28.000 I'm like, I was excited because it's got over 330,000 views.
00:26:32.000 But another part of me, you know, people are so angry.
00:26:35.000 I'm like, I felt like I committed some type of crime.
00:26:38.000 But in the end, I go, fuck them.
00:26:40.000 And I take a nice nap.
00:26:42.000 It might be psychosomatic on my part.
00:26:45.000 And it might be because I know that you just moved to Georgia from New York.
00:26:49.000 You said, fuck this shithole.
00:26:50.000 But it could just be in my own head.
00:26:52.000 But I just feel like you were trying to be nice.
00:26:55.000 And maybe I'll get a sitcom.
00:26:56.000 Maybe I'll be the new king of queens.
00:26:58.000 And then like a week ago, you just said, you know what?
00:27:02.000 Screw Hollywood.
00:27:03.000 Screw TV.
00:27:04.000 I'm making all my jokes now.
00:27:05.000 Maybe not the same jokes.
00:27:07.000 A week ago, I said, we don't have it.
00:27:11.000 No, I gave up on the fucking Hollywood sitcom shit at least 20 years ago.
00:27:19.000 I got in trouble.
00:27:20.000 Matter of fact, this is when I gave up on it officially.
00:27:23.000 I had a deal with Dennis Leary's company, Apostle Pictures, Dennis' company.
00:27:27.000 They were going to do a sitcom.
00:27:28.000 We went out and met writers and stuff.
00:27:30.000 And we were in a meeting with NBC.
00:27:33.000 We had already taken three meetings with all the other major networks.
00:27:36.000 And there were no guys.
00:27:37.000 There was one gay guy in the meeting.
00:27:39.000 All the meetings were like all women and stuff. 1.00
00:27:41.000 And by the time we got to NBC, I was just fed up with the questioning because the first question is, what is the wife like in the show?
00:27:50.000 Yeah.
00:27:51.000 Yeah, they go, can you explain?
00:27:53.000 I said, well, in the pilot, she's pregnant, and I push her down the stairs. 1.00
00:27:57.000 I said that in a meeting, thinking Dennis Larry would laugh.
00:28:00.000 His buddy Jimmy would laugh.
00:28:02.000 All of them just looked at me.
00:28:03.000 Even Dennis and they looked at me like I was fucking crazy.
00:28:07.000 And I'm sitting there.
00:28:09.000 It's just like being on stage.
00:28:10.000 The joke doesn't work.
00:28:11.000 Dennis actually, his company sent her like a dozen roses the next day.
00:28:19.000 That's not a land of sitcom, huh?
00:28:21.000 The woman's pregnant. 1.00
00:28:21.000 I push her down the stairs. 1.00
00:28:22.000 But they want a joke.
00:28:24.000 They want the woman. 0.99
00:28:25.000 They're paranoid that you're going to make Edith from All in the Family, and they want the woman to be empowered and to kick ass because that's the obsession with everyone. 1.00
00:28:32.000 And it's ruined TV, and we talk about this all the time.
00:28:34.000 It's ruined movies.
00:28:36.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:28:39.000 Whether it's a sitcom or a scene in a movie, let's say it gives away the ending now.
00:28:44.000 Everything, it's so PC, you know, like when I see a commercial or a sitcom, a husband's playing his wife in one-on-one basketball.
00:28:50.000 Do you really think the husband, you don't know how that's going to end?
00:28:53.000 Yeah.
00:28:54.000 Or I can't watch Angelina Jolie in a movie beating up six Navy SEALs and shit. 0.98
00:28:58.000 I can't suspend my disbelief.
00:29:00.000 You got it.
00:29:01.000 The same reason I don't watch Star Wars and that shit.
00:29:03.000 I can't fucking get there.
00:29:04.000 No, I want a fucking falling trophy and a talking vacuum cleaner. 0.99
00:29:07.000 I want to watch you watching Endgame because it is brutal.
00:29:11.000 There's a feminist with short hair at the end who beats up a spaceship and saves the universe, not just the world. 1.00
00:29:17.000 But there's this one scene where this woman goes, some guy says to the female superhero, you think you got this?
00:29:24.000 And she goes, yeah.
00:29:25.000 And then this African woman from Wakanda shows up and says, she has backup. 1.00
00:29:30.000 And then nine female superheroes fill the screen, including Gwyneth Paltrow, who's wearing an Iron Man suit that Tony Starks gave her.
00:29:39.000 And the entire screen is just nine female superheroes about to kill the worst guy literally in the entire universe. 1.00
00:29:46.000 And you just, even my kids were going, oh my God.
00:29:50.000 It's fucking what's the kryptonite for that superwoman? 1.00
00:29:55.000 Is it a dick?
00:29:56.000 Oh, we have a cup of spray.
00:29:58.000 Getting off her ass in the middle of the day and doing something. 0.93
00:30:01.000 I was watching a Western movie a few years ago.
00:30:06.000 It's set in like 1850 out west somewhere.
00:30:10.000 And the wife is making talking points for feminists today, like contemporary talking points. 1.00
00:30:14.000 You know what I mean?
00:30:15.000 It didn't even fit.
00:30:16.000 They can't put their fucking ideology aside.
00:30:20.000 You know what I mean?
00:30:21.000 It's one thing to take poetic license, they call up, but she sounded like a housewife from a 1996 sitcom, busting his balls and don't pick on the daughter. 1.00
00:30:29.000 And the daughter's talking back.
00:30:31.000 Oh, yeah, a six-year-old girl talked back to her dad in 1850.
00:30:34.000 She get an axe handle out the neck. 1.00
00:30:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:30:36.000 I've noticed this, too, when we take the kids to places like we were in London, we took them to Jack the Ripper, and it's like this experience where you walk through and you go to these different rooms and there's actors who play the roles and there's Sweeney Todd who's like eating people and stuff.
00:30:50.000 But they have to inject women into it. 1.00
00:30:52.000 So they have all these brassy broad murderer women saying, why, Tap of the Marne, welcome to the most dangerous place in all of London. 1.00
00:31:02.000 You better watch yourself, mate.
00:31:04.000 And she's got a knife or something and you're like, you would just get stabbed in the face if it was Jack the Ripper days.
00:31:09.000 What are we pretending for?
00:31:10.000 They ruin everything.
00:31:13.000 They're coming out with a sequel Jane the Raper.
00:31:17.000 Well, they were trying to push a black female James Bond. 0.99
00:31:22.000 And I was talking to Kumi about this.
00:31:24.000 What are the sex scenes in the black female James Bond? 0.95
00:31:27.000 Like, she just has this cuck, white guy who happily goes down on her and then skitters away when he's done.
00:31:33.000 Yeah.
00:31:34.000 Fucking, it's, you know who, what's his fucking name on MSNBC?
00:31:38.000 O'Donnell.
00:31:40.000 Yeah, yeah, Lawrence O'Donnell.
00:31:42.000 Lawrence O'Donnell.
00:31:43.000 That would be the, that would be the cuck.
00:31:45.000 And there's plenty of guys like that, you know.
00:31:47.000 Oh, we're feminists in the name. 1.00
00:31:49.000 Well, the amazing thing about that, though, is everyone knows, right, that if you made a black female James Bond, it wouldn't appeal to anyone, really. 0.91
00:31:57.000 And so it would bomb.
00:31:59.000 And that's why they don't care.
00:32:02.000 They just want to have fun and they want to be James Bond for a day, even if that's going to ruin it.
00:32:07.000 It's like if you and I insisted that our short Chinese friends got to join the NBA.
00:32:11.000 It would ruin the game, but our friends would get to play basketball in front of a bunch of people.
00:32:16.000 But the ratings would go through the roof.
00:32:18.000 That's actually a pretty good idea.
00:32:20.000 Really?
00:32:21.000 Yeah, you wouldn't go to a game and try to, you know, fucking watching Kevin Durant post up against Ding Chao Fling. 1.00
00:32:30.000 You know, his balls keep hitting the Chinese guy in the forehead. 1.00
00:32:33.000 The ratings would go through the roof.
00:32:35.000 But yeah, I can't, well, I just can't suspend my disbelief.
00:32:40.000 It's propaganda.
00:32:41.000 That's why you said they don't care.
00:32:43.000 they don't, although they make a lot of money.
00:32:46.000 Disney, I blame Disney for most of this.
00:32:48.000 The PC stuff.
00:32:49.000 Really?
00:32:50.000 Oh, they're the exporters of PC.
00:32:52.000 You ever look at a kid's Disney cartoon now?
00:32:55.000 It's just so diverse, it's creepy. 1.00
00:32:58.000 I like the old cartoons where, you know, fucking Bluto was trying to fucking force himself in olive oil.
00:33:07.000 And then, you know, the hero, the white guy, the Popeye would intervene.
00:33:11.000 Yeah.
00:33:11.000 You're right.
00:33:12.000 All cartoons now are female scientists kicking butt and men acting like complete doofs and little boys acting like complete losers. 0.98
00:33:21.000 It's like the Homer Simpson model has just taken over everyone.
00:33:26.000 Go ahead, sorry.
00:33:27.000 How about the commercials like during the masters?
00:33:30.000 Golf is still, you know, an old school old white guy. 0.71
00:33:33.000 But all the commercials, they're trying to turn it around, you know?
00:33:36.000 Hey, Mercedes, they have some angry-looking black chick. 1.00
00:33:39.000 She's like, you know, 16.
00:33:40.000 Hey, Mercedes, how about making a car for somebody who doesn't play golf? 1.00
00:33:45.000 Yeah.
00:33:46.000 Well, it's tuck commercials.
00:33:48.000 The whole message was like, why do you fucking start ignoring the old crusty white guys? 0.99
00:33:52.000 And that's the message.
00:33:54.000 That's fine.
00:33:54.000 You're the one who turned me on to that one where she goes, she's driving and he's in the passenger seat and he's going, shouldn't we park there?
00:34:01.000 Shouldn't we park there?
00:34:02.000 And she goes, yeah, I might as well just leave the car at home.
00:34:04.000 And then she goes, we're going to park right up the gut.
00:34:07.000 And then she parks up there and goes, someone's got to wear pants in this family. 1.00
00:34:10.000 Yoga pants are pants. 1.00
00:34:15.000 Can you imagine what that creative meeting looked like?
00:34:17.000 Nine girls with crew cuts and 11 rings in their noses. 0.87
00:34:21.000 Just fucking furies at the world and right up the gut.
00:34:25.000 Yeah, because women have fucking... 1.00
00:34:27.000 That's the only time.
00:34:28.000 I watch the Middle East and they talk about Saudi Arabia and how they don't allow women to drive.
00:34:32.000 I watched a bride try to Parallel Park the other day. 1.00
00:34:35.000 I thought I was ready for a woman president. 1.00
00:34:37.000 I watched her try to Parallel Park for like 11 minutes and I went, not that driving has much to do with being president.
00:34:44.000 They drive you around, but I'm just saying, enough is enough.
00:34:47.000 Please.
00:34:48.000 I want Sharia law in this country. 0.98
00:34:50.000 I want these gorgeous women covered up. 1.00
00:34:52.000 I can't stop thinking about them when they walk down the street.
00:34:54.000 And I don't want women on the road. 1.00
00:34:55.000 I want them to have to ask their Dali or whatever the guy's called who gives them permission. 0.99
00:35:00.000 We need Islam in this country.
00:35:03.000 These feminists are out of control. 1.00
00:35:05.000 Well, you're not going to have to wait too long.
00:35:07.000 You go to Dearborn, Michigan.
00:35:08.000 It's like being in a Turkish bazaar in 1650.
00:35:12.000 You're shopping at a, waiting for a bomb to go.
00:35:14.000 But yeah, no, I'm so tired of it.
00:35:18.000 And are you still kicked off PayPal and everything?
00:35:20.000 I can't believe what they've done to you.
00:35:21.000 Oh, I'm kicked off absolutely everything.
00:35:23.000 I got on YouTube through a lawyer, but they've demonetized it so I can't make a cent.
00:35:31.000 Really?
00:35:32.000 Yeah.
00:35:32.000 And that's a matter.
00:35:33.000 I've been told by insiders at YouTube that I'm on double secret probation and they're just waiting for a reason.
00:35:40.000 They'll send me a copyright strike from something that's 15 years old.
00:35:43.000 So the teeth are out.
00:35:46.000 The claws are out.
00:35:48.000 Last question, Nick.
00:35:50.000 Did you, you know, I thought the controversy with the cover there, the guy giving the finger, isn't it funny that no one describes how that activist was killed?
00:35:50.000 Yes, sir.
00:36:00.000 That he was killed by a black junkie in a horrible crime-strewn area where the police just couldn't get there in time? 1.00
00:36:08.000 Yeah, he was riding his bike in New Orleans or something.
00:36:11.000 That's all the details I could find because the three articles I looked up, they all said the same thing.
00:36:17.000 It said details were not known at the time.
00:36:20.000 But if Whitey shot him, they'd have every detail.
00:36:24.000 What color his fucking pupils were.
00:36:27.000 But the reason, and I'm taking some flack from my fans for apologizing.
00:36:31.000 And the reason I did was because that wasn't my intention to be giving the finger to a dead guy.
00:36:37.000 It wasn't my intention, you know?
00:36:38.000 So that's why I apologize.
00:36:40.000 But I also said on this show last week, I hate everything the kids stood for.
00:36:44.000 And I'm sure he would have hated it.
00:36:45.000 Black Lives is a fucking thug terrorist group that was founded on a myth. 1.00
00:36:50.000 And they bully people on college campuses.
00:36:53.000 Five cops in Dallas was shot by a guy who was related to that group.
00:36:56.000 Everybody forgets that.
00:36:58.000 But I apologize more so for the family and that I didn't intend to be doing it.
00:37:02.000 If I did, I would have said, fuck you.
00:37:05.000 You can't win me.
00:37:06.000 What are you, pussy? 1.00
00:37:08.000 No, I'm just trying to be a little decent.
00:37:10.000 No, no one's saying had a problem with that apology.
00:37:13.000 It made perfect sense.
00:37:14.000 And it also didn't let them go off on a tangent with it.
00:37:17.000 So just to wrap up here, so your contention is that those of us who think that this is some sort of liberation, this is the Georgian Nick DiPaulo, now that he's living in the South, that's all in our heads.
00:37:29.000 And you haven't changed, and this special is no different from any other?
00:37:34.000 Well, I did the special before I moved here.
00:37:36.000 And, you know, but yeah, no, I'm no, here's how you look at it.
00:37:42.000 Here's where I got out of New York.
00:37:43.000 I was living in Westchester County, literally four miles from Hillary Clinton's house.
00:37:47.000 So I was behind enemy lines.
00:37:49.000 That stuff starts to wear on you.
00:37:50.000 You start to get paranoid about stuff.
00:37:52.000 Like my dentist wouldn't return my call.
00:37:54.000 I'm like, that motherfucker's a limb.
00:37:55.000 He hates my comedy.
00:37:57.000 Shit like that.
00:37:58.000 Yeah, no, I'm in Westchester, and I get the same thing.
00:38:00.000 I get notes on my driveway, and they put hate has no home here, signs on my lawn.
00:38:04.000 They are, this is the Trump derangement syndrome capital of the world.
00:38:09.000 Yeah, I wasn't that far.
00:38:10.000 A lot of this, you know, but yeah, a banker trying to get a loan through it and they're making me jump to a thousand hoops.
00:38:16.000 It starts to wear on you.
00:38:18.000 I'm like, this guy knows who I am.
00:38:19.000 I guarantee it, because that's the level they play at.
00:38:22.000 So I picked a state that I would agree with their politics.
00:38:26.000 Here I am.
00:38:27.000 I'm already chewing tobacco.
00:38:28.000 So is the wife.
00:38:29.000 And, you know, and I love it down here.
00:38:32.000 Sure, it's going to be 117 in a couple weeks.
00:38:37.000 But you know what?
00:38:39.000 I went to Chick-fil-A the minute I got here with a handgun on my lap just to become a southerner.
00:38:45.000 That's awesome.
00:38:46.000 Well, I'll be joining you there soon enough.
00:38:47.000 Nick, thanks for coming on the show.
00:38:48.000 You do, man.
00:38:49.000 I would love you as a neighbor guy.
00:38:51.000 That special is epic.
00:38:53.000 We're going to push it like crazy on the show.
00:38:54.000 Thanks for coming on.
00:38:56.000 I can't thank you enough.
00:38:57.000 And should we have them run clips?
00:38:59.000 Let me get back to you on that one and see if my manager says.
00:39:01.000 Okay.
00:39:02.000 I'll only run Twitter clips from now on.
00:39:04.000 Or the trailers you can put out there.
00:39:05.000 Yes.
00:39:06.000 You're the best, man.
00:39:06.000 But I appreciate it.
00:39:07.000 Rock on, dude.
00:39:13.000 You know what?
00:39:14.000 What's up?
00:39:15.000 I don't think that interview went very well.
00:39:17.000 No, why?
00:39:19.000 I think I like Nick too much.
00:39:21.000 Oh.
00:39:22.000 And I'm kind of a fanboy, and I get too excited.
00:39:26.000 You think that, yeah, you get a little too.
00:39:28.000 And Nick's kind of an alpha, so he doesn't enjoy subservience.
00:39:34.000 So I come on sort of like those cartoon dogs where the little dog's like, what are we going to do now?
00:39:38.000 Yeah.
00:39:38.000 We're going to get him.
00:39:39.000 Let's go get him.
00:39:40.000 Yeah.
00:39:42.000 There were some ups and downs there.
00:39:44.000 And I apologize, folks at home.
00:39:45.000 Not every interview is out of the park sometime.
00:39:48.000 Plus, we've been trying to get him for so long that I was so excited.
00:39:52.000 I was like a kid in a candy store.
00:39:53.000 It finally works.
00:39:54.000 That wasn't very badass.
00:39:56.000 Next time, from now on, I'm going to be a badass.
00:39:59.000 God.
00:40:00.000 Hey, Nick.
00:40:01.000 Hey, Nick, what's up, dude?
00:40:03.000 Fucking so much bullshit out there, right?
00:40:06.000 Oh, my God.
00:40:08.000 Anyway, I just called to say, fuck you.
00:40:11.000 All right, later, I'm going to go drink whiskey and bang brads.
00:40:15.000 That was fucking weird.
00:40:18.000 Guy fucking calls me up on SkyTube.
00:40:21.000 He sounds, as you point out, he has a Boston accent and a New York accent at the same time.
00:40:25.000 Simultaneously.
00:40:26.000 And he sounds like a dispatcher from the 40s in Brooklyn.
00:40:30.000 Car 22, Car22, you there?
00:40:33.000 225.
00:40:34.000 You're going to need to pull this shit in.
00:40:35.000 I mean, we fucking had you at there at 6 in the morning.
00:40:38.000 What the fuck is your SkyTube?
00:40:40.000 He does.
00:40:42.000 Oh, my God.
00:40:43.000 He was born in the wrong time.
00:40:45.000 Yeah.
00:40:45.000 Like, if he was in Lenny Bruce's era, just driving a yellow cab, he'd be a superstar.
00:40:51.000 Yeah.
00:40:52.000 Wish he had kids.
00:40:54.000 He's got a great story.
00:40:55.000 He doesn't?
00:40:57.000 Nope.
00:40:57.000 He's got a great story about his neighbors.
00:41:00.000 He had like these, I think he lived on Long Island, and he had these hillbilly neighbors who they were like related to his neighbors.
00:41:08.000 So it was like a cousin or something.
00:41:09.000 And they just built a shack in between their two houses on the lawn and lived in it.
00:41:15.000 And they would have no shoes and throw rocks at cars and they were a nightmare.
00:41:19.000 And eventually they moved down south or something.
00:41:21.000 And the DiPaolos would fight them and hated them.
00:41:24.000 And they would shoot each other with BB guns.
00:41:26.000 And then he goes, the weirdest thing.
00:41:28.000 Then on the day they were leaving, they had packed up an old pickup truck and they're heading down and we're waving goodbye.
00:41:33.000 And I look over at my dad and he's crying.
00:41:37.000 I'm not doing it an ounce of justice.
00:41:39.000 But, God, it's the best story.
00:41:41.000 He's had a crazy life, man.
00:41:47.000 Yeah, we got to talk to Sabo.
00:41:48.000 See if you can call him.
00:41:51.000 It's kind of a weird thing, too.
00:41:52.000 And I'm glad I used the analogy.
00:41:54.000 It's like fighting 100 chicks because they're terrible at this, but they're kind of winning. 0.99
00:41:58.000 Like, I can't use PayPal.
00:42:01.000 Enrico Tario of the Proud Boys cannot use his own personal bank account that he's had for his whole life.
00:42:07.000 Like that was his little piggy bank when he had a paper root.
00:42:10.000 No more.
00:42:12.000 I'm trying to hook up with this math teacher, sexually, I mean, on Grinder, who she just got fired from her job as a math teacher because they found out that she's a conservative and she supports Trump and she worked with David Horowitz.
00:42:27.000 No, you may not find the surface area of 3x plus y cube spun about the z-axis.
00:42:32.000 You're going to draw little swastikas in your formulas and brainwash our kids into being fascists. 0.97
00:42:37.000 David Horowitz.
00:42:39.000 David Horowitz, by the way, is about as liberal as conservatives get.
00:42:44.000 He very reluctantly had me at one of his freedom weekends because I was right on the edge.
00:42:49.000 He is, and I love him, by the way.
00:42:50.000 I think he's a great guy.
00:42:51.000 I think he's a brilliant activist, but he was a liberal most of his life.
00:42:55.000 He is the most, I don't want to call him milquetoast because he's a real firebrand, especially when it comes to Israel, but he's not remotely controversial.
00:43:04.000 But if you work with him, you may not teach math to children.
00:43:07.000 Seem logical to me?
00:43:09.000 Seem clown world enough yet?
00:43:12.000 Well, it does make sense.
00:43:13.000 This is a, you know, Trump supporter plus math teacher minus logic equals fire teacher.
00:43:19.000 That wasn't a bad joke.
00:43:20.000 Thanks.
00:43:22.000 So, yeah, it's fighting 100 women at once. 1.00
00:43:26.000 They will win.
00:43:27.000 They'll eventually just sort of mob.
00:43:29.000 You'll sort of be like, get off, get off.
00:43:31.000 Like zombies.
00:43:32.000 Like zombies.
00:43:33.000 They're like zombies.
00:43:33.000 Exactly.
00:43:34.000 And the zombies eventually win.
00:43:37.000 But you shoot a bunch.
00:43:38.000 No, I'm not talking about shooting.
00:43:39.000 Wait a minute.
00:43:40.000 Hey, FBI.
00:43:41.000 That was an analogy gone wrong.
00:43:42.000 I'm not killing anyone.
00:43:44.000 They don't have to talk like that.
00:43:45.000 And by the way, teachers can sit there and talk about killing cops. 0.81
00:43:49.000 They can talk about how white people are evil.
00:43:52.000 They can make white people apologize.
00:43:54.000 They can talk about how evil America is, how it was stolen from the Indians, how it was built on slavery. 0.64
00:43:59.000 Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. 0.59
00:44:01.000 How Columbus Day should be changed to Indigenous Peoples' Day, which my kids were taught in school.
00:44:08.000 They literally had a Howard Zinn journal, like aficionado.
00:44:12.000 He's the head of the Howard Zinn Society.
00:44:14.000 That's a radical leftist, by the way, who thinks that we are all evil.
00:44:17.000 And his People's History of America is just like evil white colonists destroying everything. 0.95
00:44:24.000 But they read his essays in school.
00:44:27.000 But yeah, you can't have right-wing politics.
00:44:30.000 Anyway, so if you're fighting 100 women at once, in the short term, someone's going to go, man, you're going to go, and that's what happened with this Pete Butley gig.
00:44:41.000 It was the lamest trap ever set.
00:44:45.000 Trump jumped over it and then threw Pete in it by showing that he knows nothing about kids and Alfred E. Newman.
00:44:54.000 Oh, I got Sabo, by the way.
00:44:55.000 You better, because I just set it up right there.
00:44:58.000 And if he was not on the line, I would look like a total imbecile.
00:45:01.000 I got him.
00:45:02.000 Sabo, are you there?
00:45:05.000 I am here.
00:45:06.000 I'm glad to see you're still alive.
00:45:08.000 I'm still ticking along.
00:45:09.000 Still at war with the mob of Trump Derangement Syndrome lunatics.
00:45:14.000 And they're getting crazier, I've noticed.
00:45:17.000 Oh, they're going to get worse, dude.
00:45:19.000 I honestly believe they're going to get worse.
00:45:24.000 Hey, I want to talk to you about your Pete Butley gig poster.
00:45:29.000 It's beautiful, as per you.
00:45:31.000 I didn't know Marines could be so creative.
00:45:34.000 But here's what I love about the whole thing.
00:45:37.000 Pete Butleygig is a human trap.
00:45:40.000 And what you're supposed to do is make butt jokes, and you're supposed to say, I don't want no fairies in the White House, blah, blah, blah. 1.00
00:45:47.000 And then the conservatives are the old, boring traditionalists, and they get swept out to sea like an old dying person.
00:45:56.000 And the progressives are cool.
00:45:58.000 Trump didn't take the bait.
00:46:00.000 He called him Alfred E. Newman, which you helped drive home with your poster.
00:46:05.000 And then Pete got screwed because he said, oh, I had to Google it.
00:46:08.000 It's really old-fashioned.
00:46:09.000 Alfred E. Newman is not old-fashioned.
00:46:13.000 My kids still love Alfred E. Newman.
00:46:16.000 He's still, Madden Magazine is killing it.
00:46:18.000 He just showed that he doesn't know anyone with kids.
00:46:20.000 He doesn't know anything about kids.
00:46:24.000 Yeah, I guess.
00:46:25.000 You know, they almost found the perfect guy.
00:46:27.000 He's gay and he's got the name Butt in his name. 0.95
00:46:30.000 But unfortunately, he looks like a 19-year-old that hasn't quite filled in his father's suit.
00:46:35.000 Yes.
00:46:37.000 It's like we're up against, it's sort of like fighting 100 chicks. 0.97
00:46:41.000 Like it's a nightmare and they fall on top of you and you can't breathe at times.
00:46:45.000 But the actual battles, we're dealing with total amateurs.
00:46:49.000 You think I'm going to fall for your gay trick, you dummies? 1.00
00:46:53.000 Yeah, you know, it's like volleyball.
00:46:55.000 It's kind of like the Democrats set up the shot and Trump, and they were expecting Trump to spike it in, but he just standing there looking at you like, no, I don't think so.
00:47:06.000 And you know, the beauty of his insults, like low energy Jeb was low energy Jeb from that moment forward.
00:47:13.000 You couldn't see him.
00:47:14.000 And then what did he call Little Marco Rubio, Little Marco?
00:47:18.000 And then boom, that's what he is.
00:47:19.000 And now, every time I look at Pete, I see Alfred E. You do realize that's Batman.
00:47:30.000 No, it's not.
00:47:32.000 Oh, shit, that's Alfred.
00:47:34.000 Look at that.
00:47:35.000 You're such a smart ass.
00:47:36.000 You think I use just for men?
00:47:38.000 You think this is Batman?
00:47:43.000 But you know, I hope it gets hilarious.
00:47:47.000 I've been doing this crazy shit forever, and then I see all these trunk people come in and they kind of like amp it up two notches.
00:47:55.000 And then I kind of want to like step back and go, okay, can we all like relax a little bit?
00:48:00.000 But the fact of the matter is, dude, I mean, you're probably going to have to strap up and put the armor on because it's going to get brutal.
00:48:07.000 And I have to come to terms with that.
00:48:09.000 I mean, you've suffered more than most anyone I know.
00:48:13.000 And if I were you, I probably would have lost it by now.
00:48:17.000 You know this anyways?
00:48:19.000 Boxing.
00:48:20.000 You go boxing every morning.
00:48:23.000 It just trains.
00:48:24.000 I'm talking jiu-jitsu for the first time tonight.
00:48:26.000 Oh, good.
00:48:27.000 All right.
00:48:27.000 We're out of time, Sabo.
00:48:28.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:48:30.000 And your poster was beautiful.
00:48:32.000 Well, thank you, man.
00:48:32.000 All right.
00:48:33.000 Thanks for having me.
00:48:34.000 Always lost in bloody hearts.
00:48:38.000 And when they come...
00:48:41.000 Now, that interview went much better because I like Sabo, but not too much.
00:48:49.000 Maybe I'm gay and I lust Nick DePau.
00:48:52.000 Ah, and you're not attracted to Sabo, which is insulting.
00:48:56.000 Yeah.
00:48:56.000 You're not attracted to Sabo.
00:48:57.000 He's too old for me.
00:48:59.000 I like young, sexy men.
00:49:01.000 How old is Nick?
00:49:03.000 Actually, they're probably the same age, right?
00:49:05.000 I would think so.
00:49:06.000 It must be arduous to be a homosexual.
00:49:09.000 You know what I mean?
00:49:10.000 I mean, it's not...
00:49:12.000 You must get...
00:49:16.000 So you're getting settled in with a guy.
00:49:17.000 Like, I knew a dude.
00:49:18.000 I used to have these gay neighbors, Jason and Manuel.
00:49:22.000 No.
00:49:23.000 Miguel.
00:49:24.000 What the hell was his name?
00:49:26.000 Maurizio.
00:49:27.000 That's it.
00:49:28.000 And one day, Jason, they've been living together for years.
00:49:33.000 And one day, Jason said, I don't like that you're drinking so much.
00:49:38.000 And I think you're partying too hard.
00:49:40.000 And I need you to settle down.
00:49:41.000 And just be more of a mellow dude.
00:49:44.000 And Maurizio just goes, you're dumped.
00:49:45.000 Get out.
00:49:46.000 Pack your bags.
00:49:48.000 That was it.
00:49:49.000 Damn.
00:49:50.000 Jason was gone.
00:49:51.000 They lived together and they had a country house together.
00:49:54.000 That's how they were my neighbors.
00:49:55.000 And next thing you know, you never see Jason ever again.
00:49:58.000 Just boom.
00:49:59.000 Yeah, you're a lippy.
00:50:00.000 Because they have the top and the bottom thing exaggerated.
00:50:03.000 They're very fickle.
00:50:04.000 They have domestic abuse problems too, especially lesbians.
00:50:06.000 You know what lesbians do? 1.00
00:50:08.000 They adopt a hyperbolic version of what we were in the 50s.
00:50:14.000 So they have the sideburns and the tank tops and like, where's my fucking dinner?
00:50:18.000 Where's my dinner?
00:50:19.000 And then she's an exaggeration of the little timid housewife, the lipstick lesbian. 1.00
00:50:24.000 So she's like, sorry, sorry, I'll have it ready.
00:50:26.000 This is not all lesbians, obviously, but a contingent of the sort of freakier ones. 1.00
00:50:30.000 This.
00:50:31.000 Especially in.
00:50:32.000 Joe Calderon, Lady Gaga's character.
00:50:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:50:36.000 Especially in San Francisco and stuff where they really got it down to an art form.
00:50:39.000 And they will have like brutal divorces, domestic abuse. 1.00
00:50:46.000 I think a very unreported statistic is lesbian domestic violence.
00:50:51.000 And it's really just an act.
00:50:53.000 It's really just them pretending to be something that I don't even think was true.
00:50:59.000 Like this whole notion of the wife beater with the beer in Brooklyn coming up.
00:51:04.000 Hey, where the fuck?
00:51:05.000 Shut up. 0.95
00:51:07.000 I don't know.
00:51:08.000 I shouldn't say it just seems dubious, but I don't know.
00:51:12.000 I wasn't around in Brooklyn in the 40s and 50s.
00:51:15.000 Yeah, you were.
00:51:18.000 That's a burn.
00:51:20.000 What?
00:51:21.000 That was supposed to be a sick burn.
00:51:23.000 Oh, because I look old?
00:51:26.000 That's not a sick burn at all.
00:51:28.000 You could have said, could have fooled me.
00:51:30.000 Ah, that is good.
00:51:32.000 That would have been a much better burn.
00:51:33.000 Well, from now on on that.
00:51:34.000 And I can't believe I have to hand you the knife, hold it up to my chest, and say, now push.
00:51:39.000 Push in the rapier. 0.99
00:51:40.000 There you go.
00:51:41.000 And you want to get my sternum. 0.93
00:51:43.000 It's like when I'm showing my kids how to fight.
00:51:46.000 My kid beat me the other day.
00:51:47.000 We play this game where you have to slap the guy, not hard, but this doesn't count.
00:51:52.000 You can't flick him.
00:51:53.000 It has to make a psh.
00:51:55.000 So just like a little psh.
00:51:57.000 And he's beaten me three times.
00:51:58.000 That doesn't surprise me.
00:52:02.000 So I tried to use the same thing, but the difference.
00:52:04.000 All right, we're out of time, folks.
00:52:05.000 I would like to end, not with my mailbag, but with a guy we discovered.
00:52:11.000 Fred Armison is not exaggerating.
00:52:14.000 This is a Fred Armison character that is real.
00:52:17.000 I actually emailed this to Fred.
00:52:19.000 He's one of the few celebrities that will still speak to me very occasionally.
00:52:23.000 That's the secret to maintaining your celebrity friends.
00:52:26.000 You only email them once a year.
00:52:27.000 But this guy's not kidding.
00:52:30.000 He is a goth.
00:52:32.000 And this has like 172 views.
00:52:34.000 Many of his videos have zero views.
00:52:37.000 I call him Mr. Noview.
00:52:38.000 So you shared this.
00:52:41.000 No, I have no social media.
00:52:43.000 I don't know how he got up to 173.
00:52:44.000 Did you email this to Fred?
00:52:46.000 Maybe he showed people.
00:52:48.000 Like an hour ago.
00:52:49.000 Oh.
00:52:49.000 While we were doing show prep.
00:52:51.000 Oh, oh.
00:52:52.000 So this, 173 is insane for him.
00:52:55.000 Yeah, his biggest one was 12 or 24.
00:52:57.000 Yeah, right.
00:52:59.000 But I've never seen a YouTube channel where many things have zero views.
00:53:04.000 Like, don't you show your mom?
00:53:07.000 Don't you have one friend?
00:53:09.000 You're watching it on your computer, and then I put it on mine.
00:53:12.000 I said, oh, one view.
00:53:13.000 Who could that have been?
00:53:16.000 Okay, so this guy is simply going through Amazon and looking at pictures of things that are like goth, whatever he is, and he's describing them.
00:53:28.000 That's it.
00:53:28.000 There's nothing else to this video.
00:53:30.000 Check it out.
00:53:33.000 $13.98.
00:53:35.000 Very cool.
00:53:37.000 Very chic.
00:53:39.000 Very different.
00:53:42.000 Is he on medication?
00:53:43.000 Is that opioids?
00:53:45.000 I think so.
00:53:46.000 This week in makeup.
00:53:47.000 All right.
00:53:47.000 In makeup news is basically Manic Panic Virgin Dreamtone Gothic Foundation Vampire White by Manic Panic.
00:53:56.000 Daya paid up to $18 for in the store.
00:54:00.000 Stop.
00:54:00.000 How is this news?
00:54:03.000 Was this just released?
00:54:05.000 Well, then you have to say it's just been released.
00:54:08.000 Is it news that it exists on there?
00:54:10.000 And he's just found.
00:54:11.000 Yeah, is that his news?
00:54:12.000 Things exist?
00:54:13.000 In the news today, an Urwelly thing I won in Orlando.
00:54:20.000 Also in the news, a bell.
00:54:23.000 Also in the news, fingers like this that say, please be a fart. 0.70
00:54:27.000 That are made of plaster, I believe.
00:54:30.000 A color-changing cup.
00:54:33.000 That's Groundskeeper Willie.
00:54:35.000 Urwoolly is from Scottish Comics.
00:54:39.000 And now get online at, you guessed it, Amazon.com.
00:54:45.000 Oh, my God.
00:54:46.000 $6 and.
00:54:47.000 He sounds like annoyed that he has to do.
00:54:50.000 You don't have to do this, dude.
00:54:55.000 You guessed it, fuck.
00:54:57.000 Also, White Foundation, also from Manic Pennic.
00:55:02.000 That's all the makeup advice I will have.
00:55:04.000 Jeez, you guys just really are demanding I do this.
00:55:08.000 Talk about dots.
00:55:11.000 Does he have a bumper?
00:55:13.000 Oh, no.
00:55:13.000 This weekend music.
00:55:15.000 Music this month.
00:55:16.000 We have a self-titled release.
00:55:19.000 His tongue is too big for his goth face.
00:55:22.000 Yeah, his tongue's falling out of his face.
00:55:26.000 This looks like a little Nikki character. 1.00
00:55:28.000 And as it happens, if you liked our jingle for the intro of the show, that was a gift from Klaus Larsen.
00:55:38.000 Thank you, Klaus.
00:55:39.000 Hope all is well in Denmark.
00:55:41.000 All right.
00:55:41.000 I like his name.
00:55:43.000 Show his name, though, so people can look him up.
00:55:44.000 Sure.
00:55:45.000 Because he is a treasure trove.
00:55:46.000 I find him so soothing, too.
00:55:48.000 I don't know.
00:55:49.000 It's almost like a fountain.
00:55:50.000 Like, I could have him reading Amazon in the background, and I would just like, while I'm doing the dishes or something, show his page with his name so we can see him.
00:55:58.000 This guy rules.
00:55:59.000 Nate Ober.
00:56:01.000 Nate Ober, Mr. Noviews.
00:56:02.000 Let's see some of his other videos.
00:56:04.000 Please.
00:56:05.000 I discovered him because he green screened me with this hideous four views, seven views, seven views.
00:56:12.000 Yeah, we might as well show it now.
00:56:13.000 This is how I came across him.
00:56:17.000 So I've just been told I'm on double secret probation or some sort of 30-day watch on YouTube where if I do anything wrong.
00:56:25.000 That is the beauty of free speech.
00:56:26.000 Everyone gets a voice, even people with absolutely nothing to say.
00:56:32.000 I think he's the greatest little nigga. 1.00
00:56:34.000 Today in makeup, there exists goth makeup. 0.94
00:56:36.000 You may have noticed from my face that I've covered with goth makeup.
00:56:40.000 All right, guys, we're out of time.
00:56:42.000 Let's have some fun tomorrow.
00:56:43.000 I'd thank my guests, Nick DiPaolo and Sabo.
00:56:47.000 And I implore you to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:56:59.000 I'm not doing that again.