Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 16, 2019


S02E09 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO BLOW DRY YOUR TOES


Episode Stats


Length

57 minutes

Words per minute

166.67834

Word count

9,509

Sentence count

1,004

Harmful content

Misogyny

31

sentences flagged

Hate speech

53

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the life of Cheech and chung, and what it's like to be a Mexican-American living in LA in the 70's and 80's. We also talk about drugs and acid.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:00:34.000 Oh, oh, oh, that was Low Rod by War.
00:00:42.000 That's their only hit, right?
00:00:44.000 Popular band in 1975, I believe.
00:00:48.000 Chee Jin Chong used that song for their opening credits about lowriders, the cars that Mexican-Americans, Chicanos, would do in East LA, the way they would soup up their cars. 1.00
00:01:01.000 You know what a Mexican told me once? 0.93
00:01:02.000 What's up?
00:01:04.000 He said, we get the funny ones.
00:01:06.000 We get the funny Mexicans.
00:01:08.000 Just like Britain, where the funny people are at the top in Scotland, and we proved that in the other show where we saw the guy trip on that plank and get hit in the head.
00:01:17.000 You're cut.
00:01:19.000 Everything Scottish is funny.
00:01:21.000 I'll never forget when I was running for the bus with my gran, my nana, probably around 1975, and she managed to catch it, and the bus driver goes, just you keep going, Hen, you're going to get downtown before I do.
00:01:37.000 That's just a bus driver randomly.
00:01:39.000 Like every single person is funny in Scotland, especially Glasgow.
00:01:42.000 And I'm told it's the same with the northern Mexicans.
00:01:46.000 That's their funny contingent.
00:01:48.000 And you'll notice if you've ever worked in a kitchen washing dishes, the riffing is very common.
00:01:55.000 It's an integral part.
00:01:56.000 A lot of pranks, a lot of giggling.
00:01:59.000 Very giggly bunch.
00:02:01.000 The Mexican people, the ones that tend to come here into our country. 1.00
00:02:06.000 And that's maybe why Cheech and Chong was such a popular song.
00:02:09.000 Do you have those opening credits?
00:02:10.000 Yep.
00:02:13.000 B.B. Dickerson, I believe, is on the sacks in that song.
00:02:16.000 Produced by a Jewish guy Who gets half the writing credits Music Hey, man. 1.00
00:02:27.000 Look at how he dressed.
00:02:30.000 I remember being a little kid and just going, that's the coolest person in the world.
00:02:34.000 Yeah.
00:02:35.000 That old Mexican guy with a cut-off woman's shirt and a wool hat. 1.00
00:02:41.000 I was just like, the fawns is more obvious.
00:02:44.000 I worship the fawns, but that guy was just like, that's, I need to get red suspenders.
00:02:48.000 I had a Chee Chin Chong shirt that was his shirt.
00:02:53.000 So it was like a print.
00:02:54.000 It said Chee Chin Chong, but it had a print of suspenders.
00:02:56.000 Oh, I see.
00:02:57.000 I'm still wearing them after all these years.
00:02:59.000 And then a print of that, and it had like a hairy belly button. 0.98
00:03:02.000 Like the body too.
00:03:04.000 So you were cheech when you wore it.
00:03:05.000 Oh, shit.
00:03:06.000 Hey, man, that's not a joint.
00:03:08.000 That's a toothpick.
00:03:09.000 Oh, yeah, man.
00:03:10.000 It is a toothpick.
00:03:11.000 Remember being a little kid and watching the sketch where he eats...
00:03:20.000 He eats poo?
00:03:21.000 Were they smoked shit?
00:03:23.000 Yeah, his dog ate his stash and then they get the dog feces and they roll a joint with it and get high.
00:03:29.000 That's not the one where Chong gets too high.
00:03:34.000 Well, there's one where there's a chick that snorts the bleach and she goes. 1.00
00:03:41.000 There's one where he, I don't know if he did acid or something, but Cheech Changes.
00:03:45.000 Cheek never smoked no shit like this before.
00:03:46.000 Yeah, Cheech goes, oh man, I never seen someone do that much acid.
00:03:49.000 You're going to be really high.
00:03:51.000 Chong starts freaking out.
00:03:52.000 You remember that?
00:03:53.000 We were six years old.
00:03:54.000 Seven, eight.
00:03:55.000 No, I shouldn't say six.
00:03:57.000 When was that movie?
00:04:00.000 No, 1978, yeah.
00:04:00.000 70 something?
00:04:02.000 I was eight.
00:04:03.000 I was eight years old watching that movie, laughing my head off while simultaneously going, what's pot?
00:04:09.000 And what's acid?
00:04:10.000 Mama talked to me credit.
00:04:12.000 Oh, that was, we got a show.
00:04:14.000 I should have made that the song.
00:04:15.000 Yeah, that's a good one.
00:04:16.000 Let's see that one.
00:04:17.000 Oh, wait, this is the two high.
00:04:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:23.000 Hey, hey, I got something to mail you out, man.
00:04:26.000 You're just fucking out here.
00:04:27.000 We didn't know what drugs were.
00:04:30.000 And he's Chinese?
00:04:31.000 He's Chang.
00:04:32.000 Chang is. 0.94
00:04:33.000 Yeah.
00:04:33.000 I think he's half Chinese.
00:04:34.000 I think he's Canadian originally.
00:04:36.000 What a weird man.
00:04:39.000 Half Asians are weird to you?
00:04:39.000 Why?
00:04:41.000 He talks that way, though.
00:04:45.000 Hey, man.
00:04:48.000 Hey man, I already took them, man.
00:04:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:52.000 Now what do you mean?
00:04:54.000 Wow, man.
00:04:56.000 Wow, me and me.
00:04:58.000 You just ate the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life.
00:05:04.000 Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man.
00:05:06.000 I hope you're not busy for about a month.
00:05:11.000 Dude, oh, that was back when comedy was funny.
00:05:14.000 See if you can find that song, though, where he's wearing the diapers and everything.
00:05:17.000 Danner Nerd, Dannernair.
00:05:18.000 Isn't Cheech Marin now doing a really important crime show?
00:05:22.000 Where he's like, we found the body.
00:05:23.000 I thought that was Joe Pantoliano, but maybe you're right.
00:05:25.000 No, Cheech Marin is in it.
00:05:30.000 Wait, I can't hear.
00:05:31.000 It's called Earache in My Eye.
00:05:33.000 Yeah.
00:05:34.000 This is punk.
00:05:36.000 This is back when punk influenced everything.
00:05:40.000 Can you move the monitor over here?
00:05:42.000 I can't see it very well.
00:05:44.000 It's behind-the-scenes stuff, folks.
00:05:50.000 Yeah.
00:05:51.000 In the late 70s, you just had to do punk.
00:05:54.000 Even if you were a black dude with a tiger skin shirt. 1.00
00:05:58.000 I mean, a zebra skin.
00:06:00.000 Tiger?
00:06:00.000 Tiger?
00:06:11.000 Cheech was in the NASH Bridges, but that stopped airing.
00:06:15.000 Yeah.
00:06:16.000 Hey, see if you can find the day my kid went punk.
00:06:19.000 It was an after-school special.
00:06:21.000 I'm sorry we're not doing very hard news today, folks.
00:06:23.000 It's the last day of the week for us.
00:06:25.000 Again, these are the pre-shows.
00:06:26.000 So when you register at free speech.tv, you have something to look at.
00:06:30.000 And it's not one show.
00:06:32.000 The day my son, what?
00:06:35.000 We had a rough week here.
00:06:36.000 Yeah.
00:06:38.000 the day my kid went punk, I believe it.
00:06:40.000 Now, do you know what an after-school special is?
00:06:42.000 Yes, let me just pause to explain to the rest of the millennials out there: when I was a young man, the 70s and early 80s, uh, when your mom worked, which mine did eventually, um, there was no one to look after you when you came home, so you would watch TV, and you'd watch TV from four to maybe six when your parents came back.
00:07:01.000 100% of all kids did that instead of playing.
00:07:03.000 We'd watch the Flintstones, we'd watch the Honeymooners.
00:07:05.000 TV sucked back then.
00:07:07.000 And then I guess the Powers at Bee realized they had a captive audience, so they started doing these after-school specials.
00:07:14.000 And because punk infiltrated everything, even candies were punk.
00:07:18.000 There was punker candies, and there was punk episodes of the Quincy had a punk episode, where someone was dying in the slam dancing pit.
00:07:26.000 This is pre-mosh pit.
00:07:27.000 Chips had a punk episode.
00:07:29.000 Oh, we gotta find those now, too.
00:07:31.000 But this was the day my kid went punk.
00:07:33.000 And I think it was kind of a serious drama about this kid who became a punk.
00:07:40.000 What's the matter with that?
00:07:42.000 The day my kid went punk.
00:07:44.000 With horror fonts.
00:07:45.000 Well, that's the NWA font.
00:07:47.000 I think it's called Mistrow.
00:07:48.000 Huh?
00:07:51.000 Okay, you can skip ahead.
00:07:52.000 Let's see him go punk.
00:07:54.000 Yeah, let's see this kid punk out.
00:07:56.000 Yeah.
00:07:57.000 Oh, there he is.
00:07:58.000 Punk.
00:07:58.000 What have you done?
00:07:59.000 Going down to the corral.
00:08:01.000 Hey.
00:08:02.000 He even walks punk.
00:08:03.000 It was just the theater day, the makeup.
00:08:05.000 Yeah, well, it was, but I decided I like it.
00:08:08.000 Why?
00:08:09.000 What makes me look cool?
00:08:11.000 You know the problem with punks in TVs and movies?
00:08:15.000 Actors are rarely willing to shave their head into a real mohawk because they want a gig next week.
00:08:21.000 So they'll comb it down, but it's still their brown hair, and then they'll use that temporary spray for the rest. 0.78
00:08:27.000 Now, if you were a punk rocker and you did that in real life, you'd be the laughingstock.
00:08:31.000 Could you get us into the alley Friday night?
00:08:33.000 We called, but they said it was all full.
00:08:36.000 Um, yeah.
00:08:37.000 Yeah, punks get into anything. 1.00
00:08:42.000 Punks have the key to the city.
00:08:46.000 And punk men never wore makeup.
00:08:48.000 What'd they get that for?
00:08:52.000 You just got two chicks into a concert. 1.00
00:08:52.000 Why? 1.00
00:08:55.000 What's the problem, Dad?
00:08:57.000 Change the wrapping.
00:08:59.000 See you later.
00:09:01.000 What the heck?
00:09:02.000 Fuck.
00:09:05.000 This is a day my kid went punk.
00:09:07.000 He looks like Patrick Coffin.
00:09:09.000 Go find another punk part.
00:09:11.000 There must be something dangerous that happens, like they get into a punk knife fight.
00:09:14.000 So I can play first violin?
00:09:20.000 My pet monster?
00:09:20.000 What is this?
00:09:22.000 Oh, it's an interesting look.
00:09:23.000 Oh, that's the guy from Fame.
00:09:26.000 Turn it up.
00:09:27.000 I can't hear it.
00:09:28.000 Yes, but years ago, man, they played in white wigs and white stockings.
00:09:32.000 But today, we are playing in dark suits and short hair.
00:09:36.000 And may I add only the women wear makeup? 1.00
00:09:38.000 You're not being fair.
00:09:40.000 Terry.
00:09:41.000 You're not being fair.
00:09:42.000 All right, that's enough for that.
00:09:43.000 No, we can't have that.
00:09:44.000 I hereby command you find the Quincy punk episode.
00:09:49.000 Hopefully it's just a highlight.
00:09:50.000 I don't want to watch the whole thing.
00:09:52.000 And then we have to find the chips punk episode.
00:09:54.000 And I bet you'll see the same thing where they just sort of push down brown hair and then add colors.
00:09:59.000 Just go to the punk area and find actual punks.
00:10:03.000 They're broke.
00:10:04.000 They'll do $100.
00:10:06.000 Although sometimes back then there was all these rules about selling out.
00:10:09.000 I got those apps.
00:10:11.000 You know what else I got?
00:10:12.000 You know that the Chee Chin Chang? 0.99
00:10:12.000 What? 0.99
00:10:15.000 Why don't you show yourself while you speak, sir?
00:10:16.000 Oh, yeah.
00:10:19.000 Well, let me just do that.
00:10:21.000 Instantaneously, boom, we can see Ryan.
00:10:24.000 It's going to happen.
00:10:25.000 All you have to do is ask.
00:10:26.000 And by the way, while he figures out how to work his own equipment, I would like to apologize for not getting Nick D'Apollo yesterday.
00:10:33.000 We will definitely have him today.
00:10:35.000 And I've realized this new thing where we do interviews live.
00:10:38.000 I'm going to ask more people.
00:10:40.000 So I'll try to get like five people and maybe three will drop out and I'll have two cool interviews.
00:10:45.000 So I asked a bunch.
00:10:46.000 I asked Tommy Robinson too.
00:10:48.000 So we'll get Tommy Robinson on the show just spontaneity, spontaneous-like.
00:10:53.000 And then we'll also talk to Nick because that's how popular I am.
00:10:57.000 I just call him up.
00:10:58.000 I'm sort of like LeBron James where I could just say, call up Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy would answer.
00:11:05.000 Well, what did you find?
00:11:08.000 Do you remember this part of the Cheech and Chang movie?
00:11:11.000 Stacy Keats.
00:11:14.000 Any questions?
00:11:15.000 This song right here?
00:11:17.000 This has nothing to do with punk, dude.
00:11:19.000 This has to do with Cheech and Chang, but I didn't know you were going to move on from it.
00:11:22.000 I did a cover of this song.
00:11:24.000 I don't care.
00:11:25.000 No one cares.
00:11:27.000 I did a cover of this song, but you sound like a parody of a dumb guy.
00:11:32.000 This is worse than the stand-up video.
00:11:34.000 I don't care.
00:11:35.000 It's not the Ryan show, dude.
00:11:38.000 God.
00:11:40.000 Hey, while we're talking about punk, I did a cover of a Cheech and Chong song.
00:11:44.000 While we're talking about Chee Chin Chong. 0.60
00:11:45.000 We're not talking about Chee Chin Chong.
00:11:47.000 You missed the boat on that.
00:11:48.000 So I didn't want to interrupt it.
00:11:50.000 I waited till you were done with your Cheech and Chong.
00:11:52.000 In other words, you ruined it.
00:11:54.000 All right, so go back to Quincy.
00:11:55.000 I almost want to try to edit out that horrible flub and post.
00:11:58.000 By the way, War also did Why Can't We Be Friends?
00:12:00.000 So they're not a one-hit wonder.
00:12:02.000 Why?
00:12:03.000 Well, I don't know that song.
00:12:04.000 I know Why Can't We Be Friends by The Cure.
00:12:06.000 Oh, okay.
00:12:07.000 No, that's Why Can't I Be You?
00:12:08.000 Why Can't I Be You?
00:12:11.000 What's this now?
00:12:12.000 Quincy Punk?
00:12:13.000 But you gotta find a highlight.
00:12:14.000 I want to see the punks.
00:12:19.000 I was always drawing on their face.
00:12:22.000 Punks didn't do that. 1.00
00:12:23.000 That's where we are today.
00:12:24.000 Oh my God.
00:12:25.000 Do the world.
00:12:37.000 Only they worked their tails off to change it.
00:12:40.000 Trying to end a war they didn't believe in, trying to correct injustices that they saw.
00:12:44.000 Yeah, punks.
00:12:45.000 You know what?
00:12:46.000 What you do is gripe.
00:12:47.000 Look, we have reason to believe that she's with Zach's real murderer, Molly Howard, and Molly is trying to push her into a codeine overdose.
00:12:55.000 So please, have you have any information?
00:12:57.000 That's a crop, mister.
00:12:58.000 You think we're all zombie killers?
00:13:00.000 Again, with the strength.
00:13:04.000 Look at that.
00:13:06.000 Some makeup artists who said to the pieces, I know what punk is, trust me.
00:13:10.000 Oh my god, what doesn't anyone have punk hair? 1.00
00:13:14.000 The whole point of punk was that it was irreversible.
00:13:17.000 At least it would take a month to recover.
00:13:19.000 You can't just draw on your face.
00:13:22.000 All right, now find the punk chips.
00:13:27.000 You know, the more I look at old TV, the TV that us latchkey kids had to watch from four to six every day of our lives, the more I realize how bad it was.
00:13:37.000 Baby boomers really are the worst generation. 1.00
00:13:40.000 And they made the crappiest TV.
00:13:43.000 Yeah, Gavin, but you're being, this is crappy TV right now.
00:13:46.000 We're just watching you watch crappy TV.
00:13:50.000 I strongly disagree.
00:13:51.000 And by the way, the budget is a little different.
00:13:53.000 That Quincy episode you just saw involved, what, 150 employees, probably cost.
00:13:59.000 The budgets back then were probably mental, probably 200 grand.
00:14:03.000 And I'm not adjusting for inflation.
00:14:06.000 What's this now?
00:14:07.000 Are those punks?
00:14:08.000 Chips, Battle of the Bands, paying rooftop scene.
00:14:12.000 No, this is not it.
00:14:14.000 I can't find the Chips TV show.
00:14:16.000 That looked pretty punk.
00:14:17.000 Wait, go back.
00:14:18.000 It was pretty punk.
00:14:21.000 What do they get up to?
00:14:28.000 Oh, I know that guy.
00:14:29.000 Yeah, he looks familiar.
00:14:30.000 He was in Boardwalk Empire.
00:14:31.000 Yeah, didn't he have a mustache?
00:14:33.000 He was like white, a white Chicano gangster. 0.95
00:14:36.000 That's cool that he got an actual mohawk.
00:14:38.000 I was trying to win bands off that breaking point stage and those kids are going to be screaming for more.
00:14:41.000 Yeah, Potato Head's right.
00:14:43.000 I can hear him now.
00:14:45.000 That's Ballsy.
00:14:46.000 Hey, Potato Head's right.
00:14:49.000 Well, those guys are bad.
00:14:51.000 Burns his friend, but then he kisses him.
00:14:54.000 Hey, look at those California Highway Patrol losers. 1.00
00:14:58.000 Let's throw a bottle at them, man.
00:15:00.000 It's the cops.
00:15:01.000 The ones that were after you.
00:15:03.000 Understash that base.
00:15:04.000 They'll be looking for it.
00:15:09.000 You want this level of guitar?
00:15:11.000 they can have it what the these punk rockers oh i hate punks the aptly named punks Look, if this boomers indulging themselves correctly incorrectly. 0.70
00:15:35.000 All right, that's enough.
00:15:36.000 We should probably start the show at some point.
00:15:39.000 So yeah, Tommy Robinson, looking forward to that.
00:15:44.000 Looking forward to Nick DePaulo to talk about the new special, which we covered on the previous episode, if you're just tuning in now.
00:15:51.000 But let's get down to the new.
00:15:52.000 Oh, I also have a very in-depth look.
00:15:56.000 Homeless Gavin has an in-depth look at the state of kids today and just how completely fat and useless they are.
00:16:02.000 I was making fun of baby boomers, but Gen Y or whatever you call these kids, they're actually worse off than we were. 1.00
00:16:10.000 And we had a shitty childhood watching TV.
00:16:13.000 They are just making these YouTube videos where a cat is dying in the next room and they're too fat and lazy to go get it.
00:16:19.000 They stayed up all night playing video games and now they're all tie-tie in the day.
00:16:24.000 We'll be discussing that.
00:16:27.000 And then, of course, I hope we have time for the mailbag.
00:16:30.000 But here's an interesting story.
00:16:32.000 So they caught this gay serial killer. 1.00
00:16:35.000 And I know the guy who caught him.
00:16:38.000 I know one of the cops.
00:16:39.000 I'm drinking in a pub in Midtown.
00:16:43.000 And in walks a guy I haven't seen in a while.
00:16:45.000 I won't say his name because you guys are jerks about doxing people.
00:16:49.000 And he's in the best mood ever.
00:16:50.000 He walks in.
00:16:51.000 He looks way fatter than I last saw him.
00:16:52.000 I go, dude, you look like an Easter cream egg.
00:16:55.000 I may have just given away his race.
00:16:57.000 And he's like, fuck you.
00:16:59.000 And he's just beaming.
00:17:00.000 He buys drinks for everyone.
00:17:01.000 He's toasting.
00:17:02.000 I go, who put a quarter in you?
00:17:04.000 Wait, you just show the mattress ad and nothing else?
00:17:08.000 Sex offender arrested in New York for hacking a man 77 to death with a sword in Florida, confesses that he is a serial killer and tells cops he's left a trail of six other victims across the U.S. since he was 12 years old.
00:17:20.000 Here's what I think happened.
00:17:22.000 Now you scroll up.
00:17:23.000 This is Daily Mail.
00:17:24.000 So they always have 9,000 pictures.
00:17:27.000 You should maybe get an ad blocker.
00:17:29.000 Look at that guy.
00:17:30.000 Here's my theory.
00:17:31.000 I think he's gay. 1.00
00:17:31.000 Ready? 1.00
00:17:33.000 I think he was an effeminate boy.
00:17:36.000 I think gay predators sensed that and molested him at a very young age.
00:17:42.000 Well, since he was 12, right?
00:17:44.000 And that made him sort of a weird gay homophobe because he wanted revenge for these old. 0.99
00:17:49.000 That's why the guy who he macheted was 77.
00:17:52.000 So he's been killing old gays ever since for molesting him. 0.77
00:17:56.000 I just made up that theory, but I think it's a pretty good one.
00:18:00.000 But that's not why I bring up this story.
00:18:02.000 The reason I bring up this story is that cop, cops are disgusting, right?
00:18:08.000 ACAB, all cops are bastards.
00:18:10.000 Why are the cops not heroes here?
00:18:12.000 Why are we hearing about the MIPD?
00:18:13.000 You know how they caught him, by the way?
00:18:16.000 When you use your credit card to buy a subway card, right?
00:18:21.000 They now track your movements with the subway card.
00:18:23.000 Maybe I'm talking out of turn, telling some press.
00:18:26.000 Oh, that's true.
00:18:27.000 You knew that already?
00:18:29.000 So they track you.
00:18:30.000 So they were able to track him down.
00:18:32.000 They were following his movements.
00:18:33.000 They could see him going all over the city when they caught him.
00:18:37.000 They caught a serial killer who was murdering gays.
00:18:37.000 Boom.
00:18:41.000 Hey, liberals, aren't you happy about that?
00:18:43.000 Aren't you excited that we caught a guy murdering gays? 1.00
00:18:47.000 No, they don't care about that.
00:18:49.000 They only care about the narrative.
00:18:52.000 Screw the cops.
00:18:53.000 We don't care that they just saved, I don't know how many lives.
00:18:57.000 How many gays did they just stop from dying by catching this guy? 0.95
00:19:02.000 And they do the same thing with Islam. 0.91
00:19:04.000 You know, those guys want to throw gays off buildings, right?
00:19:06.000 Extremist Islam? 0.60
00:19:07.000 Yeah.
00:19:08.000 I once talked to a liberal about it, to a comedian, and I go, why don't you ever talk about Islam?
00:19:13.000 You hate homophobia and sexism and all this stuff, but you're focused on some rednecks you're never going to meet. 1.00
00:19:18.000 And he goes, that's my culture.
00:19:20.000 I don't know other culture.
00:19:21.000 I can't speak to that.
00:19:23.000 I thought we're all one big earth.
00:19:26.000 You're worried about the whole world when you talk about climate change.
00:19:28.000 Aren't you worried about the whole world when we're talking about throwing gays off buildings? 1.00
00:19:34.000 It just pissed me off.
00:19:36.000 and cops aren't looking for that, they're not looking for glory.
00:19:38.000 So, for him, just knowing that they caught a major guy, and you know, if a cop gets a guy with a joint, he gets made fun of at the station.
00:19:47.000 This is the opposite.
00:19:48.000 This guy's a hero now at the station, that's all they go for.
00:19:51.000 Meanwhile, you have all these Me Too, the women's movement, they're getting up there for their pathetic accomplishments like Alyssa Milano and Madonna and Donna Hilton, the woman who murdered a homosexual to death with a pipe by sodomizing him after kidnapping him. 0.86
00:20:07.000 She did 20 years for that crime. 1.00
00:20:09.000 She was a speaker at the Women's March.
00:20:12.000 Are you seeing some inconsistencies here?
00:20:14.000 So, another example of this was this school shooter.
00:20:18.000 Now, I sort of waited a day to report on this because it's really confusing.
00:20:25.000 And I wasn't sure what was going on here.
00:20:28.000 This is the problem with all this trans stuff. 1.00
00:20:30.000 So the story we got was he's the shooter, and then there's another shooter.
00:20:35.000 By the way, that's an old picture of him.
00:20:36.000 He's got like purple hair now.
00:20:39.000 And there's another shooter who's trans. 0.78
00:20:42.000 But there was one victim, and I'm looking at the victim going, is that a trans kid?
00:20:47.000 And because they wouldn't show pictures of the trans person because they might want to try him or her as an adult.
00:20:55.000 Do you have that picture?
00:20:56.000 So that's the kid.
00:20:57.000 He looks way punkier and weirder now.
00:20:59.000 Those are old pictures.
00:21:00.000 See if you can find him with purple hair, but scroll down.
00:21:03.000 Yeah, that's the victim.
00:21:05.000 And I know that person looks androgynous.
00:21:07.000 I don't mean to disrespect the dead.
00:21:09.000 But that's a Hispanic gentleman who was shot through the chest.
00:21:14.000 But there was a lot of heroes in this case.
00:21:17.000 The weird thing is, too, I saw this thing in the news where these kids, it's right next to Columbine, like 10 minutes away from Columbine.
00:21:23.000 These kids walked out of this vigil for the victims, the victim, Castillo, because they're mad at politicians for not doing better with guns.
00:21:33.000 The guns were illegal handguns that they pulled out of a guitar case.
00:21:37.000 What do you want us to do with the laws?
00:21:38.000 This is what drives me nuts about gun laws.
00:21:40.000 They go, we need stricter laws.
00:21:41.000 Yeah, but you're talking about a scenario with illegal guns.
00:21:45.000 What do you want the government to do?
00:21:47.000 I'll tell you what, when the government wants to take your guns, there's nothing you can do.
00:21:50.000 The government wants to take all guns out of the south side of Chicago.
00:21:53.000 They cannot.
00:21:55.000 It's called the cops.
00:21:56.000 It's called illegal.
00:21:57.000 It's called every city that has strict gun laws has murders going through the roof.
00:22:04.000 Just get rid of them. 0.51
00:22:05.000 Okay, A, you're talking about wizard stuff.
00:22:08.000 And B, okay, we get rid of them.
00:22:11.000 How long before they're back?
00:22:12.000 John Lotto says this.
00:22:14.000 You magically just make them all vanish.
00:22:17.000 Now what?
00:22:18.000 Yeah, they are.
00:22:18.000 Are they back?
00:22:20.000 That hour.
00:22:22.000 So we recently saw, if you go to the bottom of these links, we recently found out who this trans person is.
00:22:31.000 This is the other shooter.
00:22:32.000 Nope, I said the bottom of these links, it says, here's the other trans shooter. 0.99
00:22:39.000 Got it.
00:22:40.000 Got it.
00:22:41.000 All the links should be open, my man.
00:22:44.000 Maya McKinney.
00:22:45.000 Uh-oh, a fellow Scott.
00:22:46.000 I don't like the narrative anymore.
00:22:48.000 Second Colorado shooting suspect identifies as male named Alec.
00:22:55.000 Again, I want to apologize for calling trans mentally old gays.
00:22:58.000 That was way out of line.
00:22:59.000 Big mistake.
00:23:00.000 You were right to shut down my ad agency.
00:23:02.000 And there's this kid.
00:23:03.000 See the video?
00:23:04.000 It's got a long commercial.
00:23:04.000 Don't play it.
00:23:05.000 Scroll down?
00:23:06.000 That's these kids walking out of the vigil because in protest of politicians.
00:23:13.000 What?
00:23:14.000 We've lost practicality here.
00:23:16.000 We're just like, you might as well walk out of your vigil in protest of death.
00:23:21.000 The underage student is reportedly in the process of transitioning from female to male, but Sheriff Tony Spurlock would not confirm if the young suspect was transgender.
00:23:29.000 Well, I don't know what that means.
00:23:31.000 I mean, don't you just call it male now?
00:23:35.000 Castillo, the 18-year-old student, who was three days from graduating.
00:23:38.000 Classmates said Castillo was among a group of three students who tried to take down one of the shooters by tackling them, you've got to say them now, when they stormed the classroom.
00:23:47.000 The father of one of those heroic students, Brendan Biali, told the New York Times that the trio tackled the shooters when they entered the classroom and one pulled a gun out of a guitar case.
00:23:56.000 So Castillo is the hero in this story.
00:24:00.000 And you're not going to hear much about it because one of the shooters was trans.
00:24:04.000 So that doesn't fit the narrative.
00:24:06.000 This story is going to die on the vine.
00:24:10.000 All right.
00:24:11.000 We're already running out of time, believe it or not.
00:24:13.000 I assume, especially when we talk to old T.R., let's just check my phone because I just tech.
00:24:21.000 I can just text people right before we do a show.
00:24:26.000 Did Tommy respond to you at all?
00:24:28.000 Not yet.
00:24:29.000 Okay, but he will, obviously.
00:24:31.000 And what about old Nick Dipp?
00:24:35.000 Nope, but he moved to a different time zone, I think, right?
00:24:39.000 He's in Georgia.
00:24:40.000 Okay, so I believe Atlanta is on the same.
00:24:41.000 I don't know how fat Georgia is. 1.00
00:24:43.000 It's the same time zone.
00:24:44.000 It's the same time zone.
00:24:45.000 It's just down, I believe.
00:24:47.000 Delay.
00:24:48.000 Delay.
00:24:48.000 Takes a while.
00:24:49.000 It's different down there.
00:24:50.000 They like to sleep in.
00:24:52.000 It's the big easy.
00:24:53.000 No, that's New Orleans.
00:24:54.000 Well, you know what I mean.
00:24:55.000 Anywhere it's hot, people are different.
00:24:56.000 They're slower to the draw or whatever.
00:24:59.000 Let's check in with Homeless Me and the State of Pathetic Kids. 0.69
00:25:06.000 bumper What is going on with the kids today?
00:25:19.000 Is it too much shame or is it too much pride?
00:25:22.000 I don't understand.
00:25:23.000 On the one hand, I go, hey, fatso, hey, cheeks protruding out of your face.
00:25:28.000 Hey, guy who's about to pop like a balloon.
00:25:31.000 You need to be ashamed of yourself.
00:25:33.000 But on the other hand, I think actually it's a lack of pride that brought you here in the first place.
00:25:39.000 Your father leaving, your mother being a lazy slut who watches TV all day and lets you eat sugar corn pops for dinner. 1.00
00:25:46.000 So it's kind of a conflation of a lack of shame and a lack of pride.
00:25:53.000 And what I think it really comes down to is no one gives a shit about young men anymore.
00:25:58.000 So they're on their own.
00:25:59.000 And you know what little kids do when they're on their own?
00:26:02.000 It becomes Lord of the Flies.
00:26:04.000 So Piggy has the conch shell, and this other sleeping loser look at him. 0.70
00:26:10.000 Look at this guy.
00:26:12.000 He's high-tie because the fatso got him up at 9:30 in the morning.
00:26:17.000 They have no jobs, they have no future, they have nothing going on.
00:26:22.000 So, what do they do?
00:26:22.000 They make a YouTube video about their pathetic friendship.
00:26:27.000 Let's watch.
00:26:28.000 Yo, it's your boy Arstafetti and Robert.
00:26:31.000 You kind of won't be fast because A, we need to get ready to record some videos.
00:26:37.000 Hey, to put up, but B, I want to make a response video for some of you fans.
00:26:43.000 Like, I tried recording this earlier, and I said a lot of wrong things.
00:26:47.000 Well, not wrong, but like, I said it in the wrong way.
00:26:50.000 Can you look at this guy through the lens of a doctor?
00:26:55.000 This child is dying.
00:26:58.000 This mother needs to be slapped in the face. 1.00
00:27:01.000 What are you doing?
00:27:02.000 If, like, he's going to be dead in the next 10 years.
00:27:06.000 If you were giving a child heroin or doing something else that was going to jeopardize the child's life so imminently, that mother would be a pariah.
00:27:15.000 But somehow, feeding a child to death is like, whatever, just a different race. 0.99
00:27:20.000 He's a fat guy.
00:27:21.000 I think he calls himself on his YouTube something like, Joe the fat guy and my buddy Robert.
00:27:27.000 Look at this.
00:27:30.000 Look at this lazy piece of human garbage. 0.69
00:27:34.000 Just send him to the military.
00:27:35.000 Why does this kid, even like I've slept for two hours before, I don't sit there going, oh man, oh, I'm so groggy.
00:27:44.000 Go ahead.
00:27:46.000 So I want to clear this up with you guys and have Robert put his say in it.
00:27:52.000 Robert, yeah, 100% honest.
00:27:53.000 Like, we have a relationship where we're dicks to each other, aren't we?
00:27:57.000 Yeah.
00:27:58.000 Well, you don't hate each other.
00:28:00.000 Well, you may have like other times.
00:28:02.000 Oh, yeah.
00:28:02.000 I mean, there's times where we're going to be able to do it.
00:28:04.000 So you know what I'm starting to worry?
00:28:05.000 This often happens with millennials.
00:28:07.000 I start to get concerned that I'm making fun of the mentally handicapped.
00:28:12.000 Like, if this guy should be in a home and I'm saying, what a loser, what a stupid piece of garbage, then I feel bad.
00:28:19.000 I don't want to make fun of the mentally handicapped.
00:28:22.000 But that's the problem with millennials today.
00:28:24.000 You go, should I be snapping you into shape or should I be feeling bad and sending you to a home for fucking losers?
00:28:36.000 There's one of those times where you're ready to throw hands with each other, but like you said, we're always friends at the end.
00:28:45.000 I don't care.
00:28:47.000 I made a video to tell you that I'm friends with my friends.
00:28:51.000 Just give me five minutes, man, and you can go back and take a nap.
00:28:55.000 He's brilliant.
00:28:55.000 Take a nap?
00:28:56.000 I would like to get some Star Wars videos.
00:28:58.000 Naps are for senior citizens. 1.00
00:29:00.000 He's tired, very obviously.
00:29:02.000 I had a long night.
00:29:03.000 So, like I said, he wanted me to get him up earlier.
00:29:09.000 Or not super early, but it's going like, what, 10 o'clock?
00:29:12.000 I ain't taking a picture of it.
00:29:14.000 And I'm 30.
00:29:16.000 10 30.
00:29:16.000 Whoa.
00:29:17.000 I want to make this video real quick.
00:29:18.000 Now, the reason, just pause.
00:29:20.000 The reason I chose this, I know it feels like it's going nowhere.
00:29:22.000 The fat kid's cat starts to get murdered.
00:29:26.000 And both of them decide to handle it like men, modern men, modern young men, modern abandoned men, modern abandoned men with no father, and a mother who doesn't care if they live or die, and a sister who hates them, and an entire community that thinks they're irrelevant.
00:29:43.000 So what do men who are seen as totally irrelevant do when their domesticated animal is dying?
00:29:50.000 They go, oh, it's Lord of the Flies.
00:29:54.000 That's Piggy with the conch shell, and that's the guy who killed Piggy with the conch shell.
00:30:00.000 It's total and utter anarchy.
00:30:04.000 Let's see if the cat dies soon because we may have to fast forward to that because I realize this is getting tedious.
00:30:10.000 Okay, good?
00:30:12.000 Yeah, just really, really groggy.
00:30:16.000 Groggy.
00:30:17.000 No son of mine will ever say the word groggy.
00:30:19.000 Congratulations to Mike for accomplishing something so epic is graduating.
00:30:25.000 So he'll be graduating no later than tomorrow.
00:30:28.000 And look at this.
00:30:30.000 Like I said, I just want to make a quick video with Robert to let you guys know that, yeah.
00:30:37.000 Well, there we go.
00:30:38.000 There's the cats.
00:30:38.000 Some cats PO'd just pop.
00:30:42.000 This is the guy's house or his friend's house.
00:30:45.000 And he goes, well, some cats PO'd.
00:30:49.000 Like, I don't care about animals.
00:30:50.000 I'm not an animal guy.
00:30:51.000 I eat them all the time.
00:30:53.000 But if you've domesticated an animal, maybe care when it's dying.
00:31:07.000 Scratching, junkie.
00:31:10.000 Get up!
00:31:11.000 Question, is there a window open in that room?
00:31:14.000 I don't think so.
00:31:19.000 How can you be dying that you?
00:31:22.000 But then this I can go to sleep, dude.
00:31:24.000 Okay.
00:31:25.000 So, Robert.
00:31:26.000 I need to nap.
00:31:27.000 Am I like.
00:31:28.000 Besides the times I am a dick.
00:31:30.000 Like, am I a dick?
00:31:32.000 And would you like to nap?
00:31:34.000 Just pause.
00:31:36.000 This show should be called, Am I a Dick and Are You Gonna Take a Nap?
00:31:40.000 A cat is dying.
00:31:42.000 I don't care about cats.
00:31:43.000 I don't like cats.
00:31:46.000 If I worked at a vet and my job was to kill dying cats, that would be fine with me.
00:31:50.000 I would have a paper cutter maybe and just sort of go, ka-chunk, ka-chunk.
00:31:54.000 But I would only do it to cats where they had to be put down.
00:31:56.000 I have no problem with killing cats.
00:31:58.000 I have no problem with eating a Chick-fil-A, killing chickens.
00:32:00.000 It's weird, by the way.
00:32:02.000 We have all this shit about big game hunters and, ooh, they killed a lion.
00:32:07.000 Hey, solipsystic pussies. 0.99
00:32:10.000 When you kill a lion in Zimbabwe, you're actually helping lions in Zimbabwe. 0.52
00:32:15.000 I know it sounds kooky.
00:32:17.000 It's called counterintuitive thinking, something the kids today are incapable of.
00:32:22.000 But without that, the animals die.
00:32:24.000 You have to monetize it.
00:32:26.000 You have to create an incentive.
00:32:27.000 Hunters are the best thing for wildlife, And that goes from ducks unlimited all the way over to lions.
00:32:37.000 So we need to kill animals, but surely you have some heart when you've domesticated an animal and he's not to be hunted for sport.
00:32:48.000 And he's in your house, apparently getting maimed by a larger cat.
00:32:52.000 But let's see where they take this.
00:32:56.000 Like I said, I explained things completely wrong earlier.
00:32:59.000 Your cat's being killed.
00:33:01.000 He has his flaws, like, he has poor barrel control when it comes to the other stuff.
00:33:08.000 He can agree to that.
00:33:09.000 Like, he does have poor barrel control for what it is.
00:33:13.000 And that's because we're out of practice because even I'm having trouble with barbara right now.
00:33:18.000 Like, legit.
00:33:19.000 Okay, after we finish off this video, I'm checking that because...
00:33:24.000 Fuck that.
00:33:25.000 I'm going to check that now.
00:33:26.000 Woo! 0.99
00:33:29.000 Powerment going.
00:33:30.000 I'm going to check it now.
00:33:33.000 If you could say anything to let people know that you're okay, like.
00:33:36.000 What about the cat?
00:33:38.000 I'm just really, really groggy right now.
00:33:41.000 So I'm going to let him take another hour nap.
00:33:43.000 It's just really, really cool.
00:33:44.000 We're going to get together.
00:33:45.000 We're going to take the lightscapers out.
00:33:47.000 We're going to duel like crazy.
00:33:49.000 Yeah, he has poor barrel control of their slaves.
00:33:52.000 Currently, I'm having trouble with it.
00:33:54.000 Just pause.
00:33:56.000 Can we talk about this divot, please?
00:33:59.000 So this is where his head wants to be.
00:34:02.000 This is where God made his skull.
00:34:04.000 And then this is where the burritos gave him a neck pillow on the back of his neck.
00:34:10.000 Surely as a parent, you go, oh, my son has a neck pillow underneath his skin.
00:34:17.000 Surely you're concerned about that.
00:34:19.000 No?
00:34:20.000 You want your kid to die?
00:34:22.000 How is this different from having a junkie son?
00:34:24.000 Look at his face.
00:34:26.000 Look at those cheeks. 0.97
00:34:27.000 They're not meant to be like that.
00:34:29.000 I want to find this mother.
00:34:31.000 I want to talk to her.
00:34:33.000 Go ahead.
00:34:35.000 So we have our flaws, and I was super tired and annoyed last night.
00:34:41.000 Like, there was just so much going through my head at that moment that I said a lot of things that, A, yeah, he does bump my mother sometimes.
00:34:50.000 The kids are.
00:34:51.000 Yeah, he's having trouble with barrel patrol.
00:34:53.000 But like, that's just basic shit to complain about.
00:34:57.000 It's nothing about that guy.
00:35:01.000 My mother's going to get new glasses here in the next few weeks. 1.00
00:35:04.000 My mother's going to get me glasses.
00:35:06.000 Just pause.
00:35:07.000 I know this is superfluous and this guy is not you.
00:35:10.000 But for the record, never say the words, my mother, ever, in a sentence, ever.
00:35:17.000 No one wants to hear about your mother.
00:35:19.000 And when you are talking to women and you mention my mother in a sentence, their vaginas turn to the Sahara Desert. 1.00
00:35:27.000 And water, moisture will never go near them ever again.
00:35:31.000 Don't say my mother.
00:35:33.000 This guy won't shut up about his mother, which is very telling, by the way.
00:35:37.000 Small print, but that's it.
00:35:39.000 And she's doing okay right now.
00:35:42.000 She's currently sleeping.
00:35:44.000 And yeah.
00:35:48.000 As a father, this is.
00:35:50.000 As you can see, he's got a lot of changes or anything.
00:35:54.000 Like, we've got him set up to succeed.
00:35:56.000 And by the way, Robert, I don't know if you're listening, but later on, let's record a lightsaber duel for your channel.
00:36:04.000 And then we'll log you on on my laptop and we'll upload it.
00:36:08.000 And it'll be like your first video.
00:36:10.000 He wants to fight with a plastic sword that little kids play with.
00:36:14.000 A lightsaber, a plastic lightsaber.
00:36:16.000 They're going to have a lightsaber fight with plastic toys.
00:36:19.000 Go and get your cat. 0.98
00:36:20.000 Hopefully you don't get like I have right now where people are thinking, yeah, I'm always going to be dick to you, but no, we're dicks to each other.
00:36:28.000 Are we giving up on this cat?
00:36:30.000 At the end of the day, we know we care about each other.
00:36:32.000 All right, Ryan, we're going to have to scroll forward and see if anything happens.
00:36:35.000 Interest for each other.
00:36:37.000 Deputy was here.
00:36:44.000 Is there another kitty in here?
00:36:46.000 Just pause.
00:36:48.000 Cats don't speak English.
00:36:50.000 They don't understand when you ask them a question like, was there another kitty in here?
00:36:54.000 How about let's see how the cat responds to this question.
00:36:58.000 Waiting for a reply.
00:37:00.000 That's your question.
00:37:03.000 Hello?
00:37:06.000 Right now this cat is in the middle of being like Tane.
00:37:11.000 What did he say?
00:37:12.000 The mental like tane?
00:37:17.000 It's in the middle of being like Tane.
00:37:24.000 Was that you freaking out a minute ago?
00:37:26.000 It's a cat, sir.
00:37:28.000 He's just giving me that death stare.
00:37:31.000 Let me try.
00:37:34.000 Without pissing it off.
00:37:37.000 Okay, okay, okay.
00:37:39.000 I'm going to back off now.
00:37:42.000 No need to like this.
00:37:46.000 That is the young men today approaching a woman.
00:37:51.000 Women in general, but a woman. 1.00
00:37:54.000 They have totally polluted the female species by allowing feminism to foster. 1.00
00:38:00.000 Men are responsible for feminism. 0.99
00:38:02.000 We let this shit get out of control.
00:38:04.000 And we hear women dying.
00:38:06.000 We hear them rearing and screaming in the other room.
00:38:10.000 And we go, yeah, I'll get to it.
00:38:11.000 What's more important is my friend, my relationship with my groggy friend Robert.
00:38:17.000 And then we finally meet a woman and we go, was that you?
00:38:20.000 What were you doing?
00:38:20.000 And then she goes, and we go, all right, forget it.
00:38:24.000 That's called the end of the human race.
00:38:31.000 Stop masturbating. 0.72
00:38:33.000 Stop watching porn.
00:38:34.000 Stop playing video games.
00:38:35.000 Stop giving a shit about superheroes.
00:38:37.000 Get a job.
00:38:38.000 Move out of your parents' house.
00:38:41.000 Go to bed at a normal hour and take cold showers.
00:38:44.000 That is the solution to the youth of today.
00:38:47.000 And I also want to give a shout out, by the way, to the heroes in this shooting.
00:38:51.000 I think it was a little confusing because you keep saying trans, trans, trans, and then they show you a picture of Castillo.
00:38:56.000 And you go, is he, was he a girl and now he's a Boy.
00:39:00.000 No, the trans person was the one we showed you.
00:39:03.000 That's Alec McKinney, Maya McKinney, actually, now.
00:39:06.000 But the Hispanic-looking guy was the hero.
00:39:09.000 He's an all-male, born-male hero who stored that kid, is the hero of the story.
00:39:14.000 And from now on, when they do these shootings, I wish they would just focus more on the heroes because a lot of the time, these people who do it, I'd say 90, John Lott says 90% of the time, they're doing it because they're suicidal and they want to really blow up the spot.
00:39:28.000 So you're looking at a hero there.
00:39:29.000 You have the other hero, Brendan Bialy?
00:39:32.000 Be hypocritical, Amina. 0.98
00:39:34.000 What does that say?
00:39:34.000 Show that headline.
00:39:36.000 Marine recruit and other Colorado STEM school students helped disarm gunmen.
00:39:42.000 We're seeing more bravery now with these shootings, aren't we?
00:39:45.000 Remember there was the...
00:39:47.000 There he is.
00:39:47.000 That's a hero.
00:39:48.000 Marine recruit.
00:39:49.000 And he lived.
00:39:51.000 Castillo was the only one who died.
00:39:53.000 Did you say nope?
00:39:56.000 Not to that.
00:39:58.000 I don't know if I did say nope.
00:40:00.000 I don't know.
00:40:00.000 Okay.
00:40:01.000 Or you said they shouldn't be forgotten.
00:40:03.000 I said nope.
00:40:04.000 No.
00:40:04.000 Something where it was necessary to say nope.
00:40:06.000 All right.
00:40:07.000 If I did say it.
00:40:08.000 I assume, is Nick on hold or is Tommy Robinson on hold or how are we doing here?
00:40:13.000 Now I'm saying nope.
00:40:15.000 They're not on hold.
00:40:18.000 Their tech must be.
00:40:19.000 We have better tech than a lot of other people, so maybe it's the slower to get.
00:40:25.000 Yeah, no, it's cool.
00:40:26.000 I got my own shit going on.
00:40:28.000 I don't even care, actually.
00:40:30.000 I actually almost feel sorry for them.
00:40:32.000 Me too.
00:40:33.000 Because this is a great opportunity, and they're blowing it.
00:40:38.000 It actually looks bad on them.
00:40:40.000 Yeah, they're probably panicking.
00:40:41.000 Yeah.
00:40:41.000 Can we get them?
00:40:43.000 I'm a very talented cartoonist, and back in early Vice days, when we were waiting for the, back when we were newsprint, and we were waiting to see them come off the reels at the printing plant to make sure the colors were right and all that, it would take like four hours.
00:40:55.000 So we'd be sitting in this room at a printing plant board, and I would draw these caricatures of my Vice's co-founders, Shane and Sarouche.
00:41:02.000 And I'm pretty good.
00:41:04.000 And I would make them so insulting.
00:41:07.000 Like, I'd draw these horrible bags under Sarouche's eyes, and I'd make Shane a big fat pig.
00:41:12.000 And I draw the stink lines and have zits and stuff.
00:41:15.000 And really, like the caricatures you get at Disneyland or whatever, but very, very, very insulting.
00:41:21.000 Maybe Johnny Ryan level insulting, if you know that cartoonist.
00:41:26.000 Don't show that.
00:41:27.000 Okay.
00:41:28.000 And I remember Shane, he looked at it and he was pissed off.
00:41:32.000 He was very sensitive.
00:41:33.000 And he goes, you know what, actually, this makes you look bad.
00:41:37.000 And I go, really?
00:41:38.000 It looks a lot like you to me.
00:41:40.000 And he goes, no, because it shows how you see people.
00:41:43.000 And it shows that you have a very negative opinion of people.
00:41:46.000 So this actually makes you look.
00:41:47.000 So that's how I feel about Tommy and Nick not being available at the drop of a hat.
00:41:51.000 I think this makes them look bad.
00:41:53.000 It does.
00:41:54.000 Yeah.
00:41:55.000 I feel bad for them.
00:41:56.000 I feel bad for Tommy that he didn't get to be on this show.
00:42:00.000 You know, he's running for the British equivalent of Congress, right?
00:42:05.000 I've heard.
00:42:06.000 Yeah.
00:42:07.000 In the Northwest.
00:42:08.000 And he might win because people are pretty angry about Brexit.
00:42:12.000 It's almost like we got the Mueller report back.
00:42:14.000 It said no Russia collusion.
00:42:16.000 And we started prosecuting Trump for collusion.
00:42:18.000 That's what happened.
00:42:19.000 Britain voted for Brexit, and the British Parliament went, no.
00:42:26.000 I'm sorry?
00:42:27.000 Yeah, no, we're not doing it.
00:42:30.000 So I think Tommy's motto is, let's send them a message they'll never forget.
00:42:37.000 Is that a t-shirt right there?
00:42:40.000 We're going to send you a message you're never going to forget.
00:42:44.000 Yeah, you do it as Tony Soprano.
00:42:46.000 We're going to schedule a best that was going to be delicious.
00:42:51.000 It's going to be carrots.
00:42:53.000 You can dip in some red.
00:43:06.000 I'm really stressed out, and I've just been.
00:43:09.000 Yeah, I haven't watched Sopranos in a long time.
00:43:13.000 Yeah, you know how Tony Soprano was always talking about food?
00:43:18.000 All right.
00:43:21.000 I'm sorry to keep looking at the clock.
00:43:23.000 That's not pleasant for you.
00:43:24.000 I just...
00:43:34.000 How does Tucker do it?
00:43:34.000 He just has all these people just waiting the whole time with zero technical difficulties?
00:43:39.000 I don't think I've ever seen Tucker have a guest where they couldn't hear them.
00:43:42.000 Hello?
00:43:43.000 Hello?
00:43:43.000 Sorry, we're going to have to let you go.
00:43:45.000 See you on CNN a lot.
00:43:46.000 Yeah, I guess that's going to be our show.
00:43:49.000 All right, let's look at a letter from my mailbag.
00:43:56.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:44:00.000 Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
00:44:06.000 Let me touch it.
00:44:07.000 Who is that old guy you have playing me in those credits?
00:44:12.000 You have some 90-year-old man?
00:44:15.000 Why wouldn't you just use my face?
00:44:17.000 That is your face.
00:44:19.000 That's an apple that was left in the back of a car in July.
00:44:22.000 That's a newly born Sharpei.
00:44:24.000 That's a naked mole rat.
00:44:26.000 Well, it's you, though, is the subject.
00:44:28.000 No, that's me with the texture of a rubber carpet on my face that's been crunkled up.
00:44:35.000 There's some crunkles.
00:44:36.000 Oh, my God.
00:44:37.000 I got nine bags under each eye.
00:44:39.000 But on the right side, they're smooth.
00:44:42.000 Yeah, there is one area, one square centimeter, that's not wrinkly.
00:44:46.000 Yeah.
00:44:46.000 Damn, I'm old as hell.
00:44:48.000 One time I was going to a club.
00:44:51.000 That was a long-ass time ago.
00:44:54.000 So I was probably like 36.
00:44:56.000 And I was with some friends.
00:44:58.000 I think it was Halloween.
00:44:59.000 I was dressed as a punk rocker.
00:45:01.000 And because I saved all my clothes, so I just put that on for Halloween.
00:45:05.000 Anyway, they get ID, the two girls I was with, and then I go to take out my ID.
00:45:09.000 And he goes, not you, you old as hell. 0.93
00:45:14.000 You can't be in here, you old ass motherfucker. 0.99
00:45:17.000 Hey, watch the language.
00:45:19.000 I'm sorry.
00:45:22.000 Mr. McInnes, my woman left me because I got into one bar fight.
00:45:26.000 Maybe you could show the letter.
00:45:28.000 Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me after I got into a fist fight in a bar.
00:45:31.000 Now, I'm not saying I should have been fighting, and I don't think violence is something to be glorified.
00:45:37.000 But I mean, it was one fight.
00:45:39.000 We've been together for quite a while, and we were getting pretty serious talking about kids and marriage and stuff.
00:45:44.000 Even though she would tell me almost daily she's never met a man that treats her as well as I do, blah, blah, blah.
00:45:48.000 I spent five years in the Marine Corps infantry, so I do have a short fuse at times, but I've never even raised my voice to her.
00:45:53.000 However, because I got violent with some fellows at a bar, she said she can't be with a violent man.
00:45:58.000 I told her I'd work on it.
00:45:59.000 I know it's an issue, blah, blah, blah.
00:46:01.000 She said it's a theme and cited another instance where someone almost tebo my vehicle and I threatened them.
00:46:07.000 She said she can't be with a man that gets violent.
00:46:11.000 Um he's got a second part, but I'll deal with this first.
00:46:16.000 There's two things you could do here.
00:46:19.000 You could take, I don't know why I'm an advice column, by the way.
00:46:22.000 I think a lot of millennials, they send me a message because they're spoiled brats. 1.00
00:46:27.000 Not that many Marines are spoiled brats.
00:46:28.000 And they just go, hey, I got ripped off.
00:46:31.000 I mean, I do it too.
00:46:32.000 When something bad happens to me, I'll bring it up at the gym.
00:46:34.000 Like, no, my car's still not ready.
00:46:37.000 Guy's like, hell yeah.
00:46:40.000 I don't care.
00:46:41.000 Oh, I had a funny idea at the gym.
00:46:42.000 You know what's never been done?
00:46:45.000 And you're so confident this one's going to be a knockout that you just go, bug a boom, or boom.
00:46:52.000 And you don't even pull it back.
00:46:53.000 You just, it's done.
00:46:54.000 Boom.
00:46:55.000 You know the way in movies where there's an explosion and they throw it back and they just walk away from the explosion?
00:47:00.000 I've never in my life seen a fight where the guy was so sure he had a knockout that he just ended it just by going, and whack-a-mole.
00:47:08.000 And then left his arm out.
00:47:09.000 Like a golf swing.
00:47:10.000 Yeah, just like, and you're down.
00:47:14.000 Now let me just enjoy the fruits of my labor.
00:47:17.000 It would be better as a jab because he would just go, and boom.
00:47:20.000 Maybe not even look at him, just boom.
00:47:22.000 Yeah.
00:47:23.000 And then maybe do a weird thing where he turned around and then just sort of walked back to his corner and then met his coach.
00:47:30.000 Didn't even turn around to see if the guy got up.
00:47:32.000 Because every time they knock a guy out, they're back and ready and stuff, that's not as cool.
00:47:36.000 It's not as Hollywood.
00:47:39.000 So here's two things.
00:47:41.000 If you really want this relationship, then don't make it a democracy.
00:47:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
00:47:46.000 I'm violent.
00:47:47.000 Okay.
00:47:47.000 Yeah, it's a big problem.
00:47:49.000 I tell you, I can name 100 relationships where these guys broke up, serious relationships, because she wanted to.
00:47:55.000 And then she comes up to him at a party.
00:47:57.000 Actually, here's a trip.
00:47:58.000 This might be a message from God.
00:48:00.000 Joshua Okan is a Mexican photography teacher and photographer and artist.
00:48:08.000 He's the guy who, at the beginning of the show, I mentioned, told me that Cheech and Chong and the Mexicans we get are the funny ones. 1.00
00:48:16.000 He's my Mexican pal.
00:48:18.000 And he had this with his wife, and she came up to him crying at a party and said, why didn't you fight for me?
00:48:24.000 And I've heard that at least three times.
00:48:26.000 I know I said 100.
00:48:27.000 I tend to exaggerate.
00:48:29.000 So fight for her, but know that this may be just a warning from the big guy saying that this is not the one.
00:48:39.000 If she's willing to throw away the relationship.
00:48:42.000 So it's either her getting an excuse to get out or it's a test.
00:48:50.000 I think a lot of young women too, especially in the 20s today, they're petrified of getting married.
00:48:57.000 People don't have balls. 0.77
00:48:58.000 It's the pussification of America.
00:49:00.000 So a woman will sabotage. 1.00
00:49:01.000 I know a guy who was living with a woman from 20 to 25, took her to Europe to her grandfather's, the town her grandfather was from.
00:49:10.000 I think they went to his grave too.
00:49:12.000 And he said, isn't it funny how two people meet and then they make your parents and then your parents make you and then I meet you just because two people got married?
00:49:19.000 She goes, yeah, it's incredible.
00:49:20.000 And then he got down on one knee and said, will you marry me?
00:49:22.000 They've been married for five, I mean, together for five years.
00:49:24.000 He asked the dad permission.
00:49:26.000 Everyone was happy about it.
00:49:27.000 She goes, no, I'm too young.
00:49:31.000 What does that mean?
00:49:32.000 You want more dicks? 1.00
00:49:34.000 You didn't get enough sex from strangers?
00:49:37.000 So my advice to you, Mr. Infantryman, would be to totally ignore her.
00:49:45.000 Sorry, it's not up to you.
00:49:47.000 He adds another addendum, though.
00:49:49.000 Also, in the subject of toe drying, when I was in the military, my corpsman, is it corpsman or corpsman, right?
00:49:56.000 Corpsan.
00:49:56.000 Yeah, because it's a corps.
00:49:57.000 Marine Corps.
00:49:58.000 My corpsman would always stress to us to dry our feet and even push blow-drying our toes.
00:50:03.000 Now, I took this at face value, being as he was a medical professional.
00:50:06.000 I assume that this is sound medical advice.
00:50:08.000 However, after your podcast on toe-drying, and to be clear, I mentioned that at my gym, one of my trainers, who's a Puerto Rican, won't put his shoes on, won't put his socks on after he has a shower for about 20 minutes so he doesn't get toenail fungus because his toes have to dry out.
00:50:22.000 And I told him, that's old Puerto Rican lady, B.S. And then he told me about a black dude who blew dry his toes.
00:50:28.000 And I said, okay, so now it's black and Hispanic B.S. I don't believe it. 0.99
00:50:32.000 Then we looked it up and we couldn't really find any evidence that you need that much care.
00:50:37.000 Wet feet are bad, but you don't need that much care to make them unwet.
00:50:42.000 So anyway, he's talking about the podcast, the audio podcast.
00:50:46.000 Mike Corman was a New Yorkan, and now I believe that his toe-drying instructions was just his personal opinion and had no medical basis.
00:50:53.000 Tanner Johnson.
00:50:55.000 We've solved a mystery here, folks.
00:50:57.000 You do not have to over-dry your toes.
00:51:00.000 Let's make that the title of this particular toes.
00:51:05.000 You don't have to over-dry your toes.
00:51:08.000 All right, we're out.
00:51:10.000 Oh, one more thing on the Lowrider thing.
00:51:14.000 This is pertinent.
00:51:16.000 I don't know if you've ever seen this scene.
00:51:19.000 This better be pertinent to the topic and not a tangent.
00:51:22.000 Well, instead of going out with Lowrider, I figured we can go out with Lowrider from Timothy Green.
00:51:27.000 And it's not cringe.
00:51:28.000 Isn't he dying in this movie?
00:51:29.000 Yeah, something like that.
00:51:30.000 So this is kind of a triumphant.
00:51:34.000 Kind of testing out the piano.
00:51:36.000 Well, when you're a kid who's dying, you're just like, this is my musical presentation.
00:51:40.000 Yeah.
00:51:41.000 Nothing.
00:51:42.000 Pretty choppy.
00:51:45.000 Just get him, maybe.
00:51:46.000 Just a.
00:51:48.000 Hey, that's the kid from Sixth Sense, isn't it?
00:51:50.000 That dad?
00:51:52.000 Is it?
00:51:52.000 Isn't that the kid who sees dead people?
00:51:54.000 No.
00:51:55.000 Isn't that Haley Joe Osmond?
00:51:56.000 Yes, it is.
00:51:57.000 No, it's not.
00:51:58.000 I think it is.
00:51:58.000 It's not.
00:51:59.000 I think it is.
00:52:00.000 It's not.
00:52:00.000 I think it is.
00:52:02.000 It's not him.
00:52:03.000 I think it is.
00:52:04.000 It's not.
00:52:04.000 I think it is.
00:52:06.000 It's not him.
00:52:06.000 It's a different guy.
00:52:07.000 I think it is.
00:52:08.000 I know what you think it is.
00:52:09.000 It's not him, though.
00:52:10.000 I'm pretty sure it is.
00:52:11.000 It's a different guy.
00:52:12.000 I'm starting to doubt myself, actually.
00:52:16.000 I'm losing my conviction.
00:52:17.000 It's certainly not.
00:52:18.000 Oh, wait, it's Low Rider.
00:52:20.000 Yeah.
00:52:25.000 This is douche chill cringe.
00:52:29.000 It's a beautiful moment.
00:52:31.000 No, it's not.
00:52:32.000 Oh, look at them laughing.
00:52:39.000 I have actual goose pimples on my arm.
00:52:42.000 My skin is reacting to how douchey this is.
00:52:46.000 I have literal douche chills.
00:52:48.000 It's triumphant.
00:52:50.000 I love this movie with Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton.
00:52:54.000 Well, I was right that it's a Joel.
00:52:55.000 That was never...
00:52:58.000 Sorry.
00:53:01.000 It's a Joel.
00:53:02.000 So wait, they just dance.
00:53:03.000 And you can't add music.
00:53:05.000 Movie.
00:53:06.000 Coming soon to Disney Blu-ray.
00:53:08.000 You can't add music and show how great the song was.
00:53:11.000 You know what that is?
00:53:12.000 That's a half-assed rip-off of About a Boy where the kid comes out and he's playing the guitar.
00:53:16.000 He's singing a song like Killing Me Softly or something.
00:53:19.000 And then Hugh Grant comes out with a guitar and does the real job and it makes the kid look good and then everyone's happy.
00:53:28.000 Do you have that?
00:53:29.000 It's like Hugh Grant About a Boy.
00:53:32.000 What would you call that?
00:53:33.000 The song section?
00:53:35.000 No, no, no.
00:53:35.000 Killing Me Softly.
00:53:37.000 I don't think it's Killing Me Softly.
00:53:38.000 Yeah, it is.
00:53:39.000 Oh, it is?
00:53:39.000 Yep.
00:53:40.000 No, this is Haley Joe Husband.
00:53:44.000 They stole this scene.
00:53:46.000 It's the exact same thing.
00:53:49.000 This is a classic American move. 0.88
00:53:51.000 Archie Bunker was steptoe and son.
00:53:53.000 Three as a company was, I think it's called Three's a Crowd.
00:53:57.000 They keep just stealing stuff.
00:53:59.000 Yeah, kiss the song, man.
00:54:01.000 Yeah, you little twerp.
00:54:04.000 Hold on a sec.
00:54:05.000 Just pause.
00:54:08.000 We're way over time here.
00:54:09.000 We're just like right over time.
00:54:10.000 Shouldn't a kid be kind of bullied a little bit if he wants to sing Killing Me Softly to his entire school with a bolt cut?
00:54:16.000 Yeah.
00:54:16.000 I mean, do we praise everyone for everything now?
00:54:21.000 Who's going to be telling them to be better?
00:54:23.000 This is Proud Boys, by the way.
00:54:24.000 It all started because I saw a kid sing Proud of Your Boy at a music recital where everyone else at the recital was playing guitar and piano and doing stuff they had worked on for months and months and months.
00:54:34.000 And then this kid just comes out and sings the song from Aladdin.
00:54:37.000 And I'm sitting in the audience going, I bet no one's proud of this boy.
00:54:40.000 Yeah.
00:54:42.000 Okay, go ahead.
00:54:44.000 This is for my mom.
00:54:46.000 Yeah, you're right to laugh.
00:54:50.000 Mom's gay. 0.99
00:54:51.000 But he sang a good song.
00:54:55.000 You're hamming it up a little bit there, kid actor.
00:55:01.000 And so I came to see him today.
00:55:05.000 This is terrible.
00:55:07.000 They should laugh at him.
00:55:13.000 Like, if you're a little kid and you go, I want to do something for my mom, I could sing Killing Me Softly.
00:55:17.000 Well, I don't play an instrument, though.
00:55:18.000 That would be stupid.
00:55:20.000 He is rubbish.
00:55:21.000 He's singing about a guy.
00:55:25.000 Oh, yeah.
00:55:27.000 You're killing your dad softly, too.
00:55:30.000 I think his dad is dead in this.
00:55:33.000 Good for him.
00:55:34.000 Wait, yeah, the song is about sex.
00:55:37.000 Strumming me softly with his fingers.
00:55:40.000 If that kid isn't supposed to be ridiculed.
00:55:42.000 So yeah, then Hugh Grant comes out.
00:55:45.000 Telling my whole life?
00:55:46.000 What?
00:55:46.000 Three years?
00:55:48.000 How old are you?
00:55:51.000 He's off rhythm.
00:55:55.000 He's picking up the pace because he's like, let's make this go faster.
00:55:58.000 Handsome man to the rescue.
00:56:00.000 Yay! 0.99
00:56:02.000 Handsome mum's boyfriend. 0.62
00:56:04.000 He's okay, that's pathetic.
00:56:06.000 Straight grown man Splaining. 0.98
00:56:08.000 We are, you know, strong men create good times.
00:56:13.000 Good times.
00:56:14.000 Stop that music.
00:56:16.000 Oh.
00:56:17.000 What did you do?
00:56:20.000 Did you turn off my mic?
00:56:21.000 I just pressed the different.
00:56:22.000 No, no.
00:56:22.000 The pussification of America.
00:56:24.000 Strong men create good times.
00:56:26.000 Good times create weak men.
00:56:29.000 Weak men create hard times.
00:56:31.000 And so on and so on.
00:56:33.000 We are currently in a situation where hard times have created weak men.
00:56:39.000 And weak men are running the show at this point.
00:56:42.000 We really are in a tornado of pussification.
00:56:49.000 But you can change it by fighting back, by raising strong sons, and by taking chances.
00:56:59.000 Get fired.
00:57:00.000 Get in trouble.
00:57:02.000 Be brave.