Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 28, 2020


S02E117 - MAILBAG CATCHUP [2020-01-28 - S02E117 - MAILBAG CATCHUP]


Episode Stats


Length

34 minutes

Words per minute

168.48688

Word count

5,883

Sentence count

623

Harmful content

Misogyny

34

sentences flagged

Hate speech

33

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of Get Off My Lawn: Live from New York, Kevin is joined by Charlie to talk about the latest in the war on white supremacy, and the latest on white power group Atom Waffen. Also, a new segment called "Get Off Your Lawn" is introduced.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:10.000 I call up Charlie about a quarter past nine.
00:00:14.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGinnis.
00:00:20.000 Holding a letter here tonight.
00:00:24.000 I said sometimes when I push stop on my portable stereo, it takes a second to take.
00:00:35.000 That was Andy Schelf, S-H-A-U-F.
00:00:40.000 Really cool dude I discovered recently who does like 70s music.
00:00:45.000 I think this album, Neon Skyline, I believe it's called, is all about one night.
00:00:50.000 It's like a concept album.
00:00:53.000 It's not very hot.
00:00:56.000 Kind of ugly.
00:00:58.000 Ugly, as my youngest says.
00:01:02.000 My wife was wearing a Willie Nelson shirt. 1.00
00:01:05.000 And he goes, why do you have that ugly guy on your shirt?
00:01:09.000 He won't watch Shrek because Shrek is so ugly.
00:01:14.000 How about the musical?
00:01:15.000 Ugh.
00:01:17.000 I don't know if I share your cringe.
00:01:21.000 I wound up liking it.
00:01:22.000 Do you like my fuck Antifa shirt, my Proud Boy's shirt?
00:01:25.000 I sure do.
00:01:26.000 We finally got this charity fund together for the wife of John Kinsman.
00:01:33.000 We'll be launching that soon.
00:01:34.000 Just have to do a few tweaks.
00:01:35.000 It only takes about four months to build a website that is hack-proof and has a payment processor that Antifa won't ruin.
00:01:44.000 It's amazing the shit they ruin.
00:01:46.000 Like that proud boy who was gay and OD'd, and they harassed his mother after his death so much she canceled the funeral. 1.00
00:01:55.000 You may not mourn your dead son because we think of him as a fascist.
00:02:01.000 And it always seems to be gays and blacks who are getting fucked over by these egalitarians, doesn't it? 0.99
00:02:08.000 Like John Kinsman's black kids. 1.00
00:02:12.000 They have to suffer.
00:02:15.000 We are in Wildwood, New Jersey, trying to get close to Trump.
00:02:22.000 What the fuck's with my voice these days?
00:02:23.000 I'm kind of stuttering.
00:02:25.000 What happened to it?
00:02:25.000 I think it might have been the coffee.
00:02:28.000 That Kevefe made me a little too thinky.
00:02:32.000 Got some tincture.
00:02:33.000 I'm not in the mood for tincture.
00:02:34.000 I already had some.
00:02:37.000 So we're going to mostly focus on letters today.
00:02:42.000 I want to catch up on the letters.
00:02:44.000 But I also want to talk about the myth of white supremacy on the rise.
00:02:50.000 So the beef with Andy No from these clowns is that he provides kill lists for Atom Waffen. 0.75
00:02:58.000 And you go, that sounds pretty bad.
00:03:01.000 So what is Atom Woffen?
00:03:03.000 Well, according to Antifa, Atom Waffen is a white power group in the South who randomly murders people.
00:03:13.000 And so when they get their kill lists from Andy No, they go, oh, okay.
00:03:17.000 So maybe we'll just go through Portland and kill these four guys.
00:03:20.000 And then we'll go over to Seattle, maybe kill those three.
00:03:23.000 Thanks for the kill list, Andy.
00:03:25.000 They must be very powerful.
00:03:27.000 I mean, the mafia had kill lists, and they murdered people.
00:03:31.000 MS-13 has kill lists.
00:03:33.000 So basically, Andy No is providing MS-13 with people to behead.
00:03:41.000 Big, if true.
00:03:44.000 Not true.
00:03:45.000 So I had never really heard of Adam Woffen before Antifa started bitching about them.
00:03:49.000 I looked them up recently, see if you can find this New York Times piece about them.
00:03:54.000 And they're so fucking dirty the way they write.
00:04:00.000 I've noticed this with journalism recently.
00:04:03.000 They'll say things and you'll get guilt by association or just the framing.
00:04:07.000 You'll go, they create a picture.
00:04:10.000 So go down a bit.
00:04:12.000 When a Florida man who had recently converted to Islam fatally shot two of his roommates, the name came up.
00:04:20.000 When the roommate he did not shoot was sentenced to five years for home at explosives, the name came up.
00:04:25.000 And when an arrest was made after a 19-year-old college student was found dead with more than 20 stab wounds, the name came up.
00:04:32.000 And you go, okay, so it's murdering people.
00:04:34.000 Isn't that the vibe you get?
00:04:37.000 So you click on the first one.
00:04:40.000 This is Adam Woffen, right?
00:04:42.000 This scary gang.
00:04:44.000 The only reason they're in the news.
00:04:46.000 Oh, dude, I thought you had signed up for this shit.
00:04:48.000 This makes us look very unprofessional.
00:04:50.000 How many times have we been through this?
00:04:55.000 The first story, they're in the news because they were murdered by a Muslim. 0.99
00:05:02.000 Polaricle.
00:05:03.000 So they're the victims.
00:05:06.000 Like them or not, in that particular story, they are the victims of an extremist Muslim. 0.71
00:05:10.000 Their name did come up, though.
00:05:12.000 Their name did come up.
00:05:13.000 But it was as the victim.
00:05:14.000 And then the second one, what's the second one?
00:05:19.000 Because one of the stories is that Adam Woffen murdered two people, a couple, mom and dad.
00:05:26.000 And then you look up the story and the parents didn't like that he was a Nazi, so they forbid the daughter from seeing him.
00:05:34.000 And so he went nuts and killed the parents.
00:05:37.000 Not exactly, like obviously the guy's a fucking psychopath.
00:05:43.000 And then there's this guy who had home.
00:05:45.000 Oh my God, I don't want to see that again.
00:05:49.000 Me neither.
00:05:50.000 Well, then log in.
00:05:51.000 I mean, how can you not have an account?
00:05:53.000 I've signed up.
00:05:54.000 They only let you get a certain amount of articles?
00:05:56.000 No, you sign up for IP.
00:06:02.000 I don't know.
00:06:03.000 But I thought we handled this.
00:06:04.000 Then you talked about a private browser and shit, and that didn't work?
00:06:07.000 Yeah, I'm doing the private browser.
00:06:08.000 Oh, that's taking no time.
00:06:13.000 Okay, so one of them had homemade explosives.
00:06:16.000 So they caught a nut.
00:06:17.000 That's great.
00:06:18.000 Good work, guys.
00:06:19.000 Doesn't make Adam Waffen a threat.
00:06:21.000 And by the way, you don't seem to talk about jihadists getting caught with explosives very often.
00:06:26.000 That doesn't seem to come up.
00:06:27.000 But anyway, the FBI, whatever, caught a nut.
00:06:30.000 So story two is great.
00:06:31.000 I'm still not seeing this Adam Woffen threat, though.
00:06:34.000 I'm not seeing this Adam Waffen threat looming.
00:06:37.000 And then, what's the third story?
00:06:38.000 I think the third story was the parents being killed by a psycho who was.
00:06:44.000 That's not really a racial attack, that's a scorned lover who lost his mind. 0.66
00:06:51.000 Is this late article?
00:06:52.000 Yep.
00:06:56.000 Connected to four other murders.
00:06:58.000 See, that's what they do.
00:07:00.000 So, one of them gets murdered, and now that group is connected to a murder.
00:07:06.000 Not really.
00:07:07.000 It's sort of like Dylan Roof, too.
00:07:09.000 I'm so sick of people using Dylan Roof as an example of this looming hate.
00:07:13.000 Has anyone looked at his fucking face?
00:07:16.000 This guy is not indicative of a pattern.
00:07:18.000 He's a nut bar.
00:07:21.000 That's not Dylan Roof, obviously.
00:07:23.000 Do you know who Dylan Roof is, Ryan?
00:07:25.000 Yeah, Bull Cook kid.
00:07:27.000 Yes.
00:07:28.000 So this guy is an example of the looming Nazi threat in America. 0.83
00:07:33.000 He's burning a flag, by the way.
00:07:35.000 Oh, yeah, good point.
00:07:36.000 A la Antifa.
00:07:38.000 But is this guy really indicative of a pattern?
00:07:42.000 Are we seeing a lot more of this fucking lunatic?
00:07:42.000 Really?
00:07:47.000 He's much more closely associated with Adam Lanza than he is Adam Waffen or Hans Landa.
00:07:56.000 Go show Adam Lanza.
00:07:59.000 Like, the other thing that people never talk about with these fucking nuts is they're all heavily medicated.
00:08:06.000 Look at this guy.
00:08:07.000 What's wrong with that?
00:08:09.000 Or that.
00:08:10.000 Yeah.
00:08:11.000 That's Dylan Roof, basically.
00:08:13.000 That's your category, and it's called over-medicated, severely mentally ill.
00:08:18.000 Look how much Adderall that poor bastard's on. 0.68
00:08:21.000 I guess I shouldn't say poor bastard.
00:08:23.000 That's way before when he was a little kid.
00:08:26.000 And then I'm going to do a separate video about this.
00:08:29.000 Maybe put it on YouTube.
00:08:31.000 But then the other big threat with white supremacy is the base, which is apparently an English translation.
00:08:39.000 This is 2-1 of Al-Qaeda.
00:08:44.000 That means the base too.
00:08:46.000 So revealed, this is this clown.
00:08:49.000 What's his name?
00:08:50.000 Jason.
00:08:51.000 No, the author.
00:08:53.000 Oh, Jason Wilson.
00:08:54.000 Jason Wilson.
00:08:55.000 He came up to me once at a Tommy Robinson thing and said, hello, I'm from The Guardian, UK.
00:09:01.000 And I said, yeah, I know it's UK.
00:09:03.000 I can tell by your teeth.
00:09:05.000 We got in a fight.
00:09:06.000 I called him a feckless cunt.
00:09:10.000 Anyway, this guy writes this article about how we found the head of the base, exclusive to the Guardian.
00:09:16.000 And then he buries the lead, which is, yeah, I think it's an FBI CIA plant.
00:09:23.000 In fact, it's looking a hell of a lot like that.
00:09:25.000 So he makes the whole front of the article about how we track down the leader of this white supremacist evil gang.
00:09:32.000 And then like paragraph 68, you find out around the same time, Speer filmed it, that's his name, filmed a series of short instructional presentations on the tactics and strategy of guerrilla warfare.
00:09:46.000 In an archive of those videos on the far-right site BitChute, he is identified as defense studies expert and former CIA field intelligence officer Norman Speer.
00:10:02.000 So once again, the government in their quest to eradicate hate has created hate where there was none.
00:10:11.000 The base is clearly a CIA operative who started a thing in order to, an FBI honeypot, as they're called, in order to bring in guys.
00:10:20.000 But they end up just sort of taking these sad, lonely, incel losers.
00:10:25.000 And they hear, the white man is under siege.
00:10:28.000 We got to fight back.
00:10:29.000 And they go, yeah, okay.
00:10:30.000 Can we be friends, though?
00:10:31.000 Will you hang out with me?
00:10:32.000 Yeah, I'll be your best friend.
00:10:34.000 Now you have friends.
00:10:36.000 Hey, I have friends now.
00:10:37.000 And then, poof, I caught him.
00:10:39.000 Throw him in prison.
00:10:42.000 It's fucking ridiculous.
00:10:43.000 And this happened when I was a kid in Canada.
00:10:45.000 I've told you about this before.
00:10:47.000 The government got tons of money to fight Nazis.
00:10:51.000 So they started the Heritage Foundation and they put out pamphlets all about Jews and blacks and even though there's really not any Jews or blacks or Indians in Canada, especially in the 80s.
00:11:03.000 And they put out all this propaganda about how great it is to be a Nazi skinhead.
00:11:08.000 And people started going, kids started going, yeah, that sounds reasonable.
00:11:12.000 I'm a Nazi skinhead. 0.76
00:11:14.000 So they created a Nazi skinhead movement where there was none. 0.53
00:11:18.000 And when I was a kid, they were everywhere.
00:11:20.000 And I don't mean Nazis like the way they say today.
00:11:22.000 I mean swastika on your arm, swastika patch, Klansmen tattooed on Francois' back.
00:11:31.000 They all went to jail.
00:11:32.000 They all ended up dying.
00:11:34.000 In that sense, you could argue the Canadian CIA, they're called CESIS, murdered those kids by brainwashing them into becoming Nazis, which is a no-future lifestyle. 0.69
00:11:44.000 Nazis don't end up with a garden and two kids slowly tending to their artichokes.
00:11:50.000 They end up dead or in jail, inevitably.
00:11:54.000 So the base and Adamwaffen are a non-existent scam, and they're not indicative of a pattern.
00:12:01.000 And the reason I hate it is because then when a Patriot Prayer or Proud Boys or Three Percenter or any other normal group come along, they link them to this bullshit and they throw them in prison for four years.
00:12:14.000 So this myth is damaging.
00:12:19.000 Canada-sponsored neo-Nazi group.
00:12:23.000 I mean, it's like climate change, really.
00:12:26.000 You get this hysteria going and it generates income.
00:12:29.000 So you get this hysteria going about white supremacy and you get checks.
00:12:35.000 But people want results for their checks.
00:12:38.000 They want bad guys.
00:12:39.000 So what do they do?
00:12:40.000 They leave a Ferrari in Harlem with the keys in it.
00:12:43.000 Black kid comes in, drives it away. 1.00
00:12:45.000 We catch him.
00:12:46.000 We got him.
00:12:47.000 Now we're stopping car thieves.
00:12:49.000 No, you're not.
00:12:50.000 You're creating car thieves, you fuckers.
00:12:53.000 Anyway, let's, this is a special episode where we catch up on the letters.
00:12:58.000 So shall we jump to the mailbag?
00:13:02.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:13:06.000 Let's turn the rice to Captain's mailbag. 0.99
00:13:12.000 Let me touch it.
00:13:14.000 Letter number one.
00:13:17.000 Subject Matiodell Sucks.
00:13:19.000 Text.
00:13:20.000 The Matiodell interview was the most boring, shitty waste of time.
00:13:24.000 I can tell that you cheaped out on the production because it looks as bad as it sounds.
00:13:29.000 I'm canceling my subscription.
00:13:31.000 Fuck you.
00:13:34.000 Sheesh.
00:13:35.000 Just kidding.
00:13:36.000 Oh.
00:13:36.000 Doesn't say that.
00:13:38.000 I was like, what?
00:13:39.000 It says, Maddie Odell is a hit.
00:13:41.000 Maddie O'Dell needs a no-political show. 1.00
00:13:44.000 What the fuck is that?
00:13:46.000 Like a non-political show?
00:13:48.000 Oh, non-political show.
00:13:50.000 Also, a comment section on your videos would cut down on mailbag.
00:13:53.000 Yes, we will have a comment section soon.
00:13:57.000 And I was a big fan of the Maddie O'Dell thing.
00:14:00.000 I am not bananas about how it looks, Ryan, to be frank.
00:14:03.000 Yeah.
00:14:04.000 I think we need lighting.
00:14:05.000 How can we make it look like the previous place?
00:14:10.000 We don't have the type of lens that they have.
00:14:10.000 We can't.
00:14:14.000 And we'd have to block out the sunlight or just hit it with our lights, and then we could just dim it and post.
00:14:19.000 But we had some lighting issues.
00:14:21.000 So we need a fancy lens.
00:14:23.000 Yeah, and I've never been one to just light a shoot or shoot anything.
00:14:26.000 That's never been my thing.
00:14:28.000 But I looked into it a lot.
00:14:30.000 And I think that's what we need.
00:14:32.000 Lighting and maybe a better camera if you want it to look that way.
00:14:36.000 Because they have just really intense 4K shit.
00:14:41.000 You know, the background's blurry.
00:14:43.000 We don't really have that.
00:14:45.000 We don't have that type of lens.
00:14:46.000 With the depth of field.
00:14:49.000 And it's just so fucking expensive.
00:14:50.000 It's crazy.
00:14:51.000 Like, the guests were a fortune.
00:14:53.000 And then the venue, it ends up being thousands of dollars.
00:14:57.000 Each time, yeah.
00:14:58.000 And for people to mostly consume it audio anyway, I just tried to make sure the audio was as tight as possible.
00:14:58.000 Each time.
00:15:05.000 It did sound a little staticky, to be honest.
00:15:07.000 Yeah, there's a bit of a shh.
00:15:10.000 We forgot to unplug their stuff.
00:15:12.000 It goes away about halfway in, if what you're hearing is what I'm hearing.
00:15:15.000 It goes away, like, turned off and went vv.
00:15:17.000 And I was like, oh.
00:15:18.000 It's like a breath of fresh air.
00:15:20.000 Yeah, they got something going on back there that stopped about halfway through.
00:15:23.000 That stopped about halfway through.
00:15:25.000 Didn't you hear it?
00:15:27.000 When I was monitoring it?
00:15:28.000 No, no, I didn't.
00:15:32.000 There's Dean Wells.
00:15:37.000 I'm jumping into the PS here.
00:15:39.000 Google me, Dean Wells, Married at First Sight, Australia.
00:15:43.000 And you will see the bullshit Australian media and feminists have put me through basically for just expressing normal traditional views on a reality TV show in Australia.
00:15:51.000 Even though those views come from a very informed, post-feminism, politically-minded mindset, I literally became the most hated man in Australia and was on the highest rated TV show ever in this country.
00:16:03.000 So he was on a reality show called Married at First Sight, and he's saying that he was pilloried because he just had traditional normal values.
00:16:12.000 I looked into this.
00:16:13.000 He was pilloried because he cheated on his love interest in the show and said it was because she's ugly.
00:16:23.000 Well, his exact words were, her looks are not her best feature. 1.00
00:16:28.000 Which is harsh to whisper into your pillow when you're alone, but to say it loud and proud on a reality TV show where everyone's going to hear it.
00:16:37.000 Go to YouTube, though.
00:16:38.000 There's way better footage there.
00:16:41.000 Dean, stop doubting yourself, Gavin.
00:16:43.000 Dude, lately you've been letting some negative emails and dropping subscriber numbers and dropping subscriber numbers get to you.
00:16:49.000 Yeah, over Christmas, etc., some of the shows were a bit lame and your frequency was off, but you're still killing it and there's still no one else quite like you, brother.
00:16:56.000 You were at your best when you were confident and arrogant as fuck.
00:16:59.000 The God thing was hilarious and spot on every time.
00:17:02.000 Haha.
00:17:03.000 The first one I could defend.
00:17:05.000 Second one, I am pretty late to the Gav train having only discovered you a year ago, so I'd be devastated if you canceled Gmail and censored.tv.
00:17:12.000 I'm never fucking canceling it.
00:17:14.000 The free market is the only thing that could cancel it.
00:17:19.000 He's deemed rapping.
00:17:21.000 And I would like to wrap it for you right now.
00:17:24.000 That's the really dumped.
00:17:26.000 Are you kidding me?
00:17:27.000 If you're getting someone else to write it, like, really?
00:17:32.000 She does look a bit odd, doesn't she?
00:17:35.000 She looks a little Star Trek. 0.91
00:17:37.000 Like, you know, those aliens that are beautiful but not human?
00:17:41.000 Like, she could be green. 0.85
00:17:42.000 Isn't that like an avatar, babe?
00:17:44.000 Yeah, like, she's got these weird things by her eyes and then her fucking fake lips. 1.00
00:17:49.000 Listen to the rip that I'm about to drop.
00:17:51.000 You look pretty fit, but you're not that hot.
00:18:00.000 I've been drogging like a kangaroo my entire life.
00:18:03.000 You call that thing a knife?
00:18:05.000 No, this is a knife.
00:18:07.000 In his next level, come on, show me what you got.
00:18:09.000 We tied the knot at first sight, it's so tight.
00:18:12.000 And when we get to talk and go, we stay up all night.
00:18:15.000 It's all that we can do.
00:18:16.000 Look up a fair with him.
00:18:18.000 In saying that, no one gives a fuck about your boxing technique videos.
00:18:23.000 That wasn't really a boxing technique video if you watch it, sir.
00:18:29.000 And I would still like to see you talk more about politics.
00:18:31.000 It's not tired, and it's always evolving.
00:18:33.000 I'm a hardcore slash punk fan and skater from back in the day.
00:18:38.000 It's changed my life to have discovered you.
00:18:39.000 Unfortunately, I can't even explain you to anyone here in Australia as everyone is so judgmental and brainwashed that they just don't get it.
00:18:46.000 But please know that some of us out here really rely on your show and bold staunts.
00:18:53.000 Nice to know.
00:18:54.000 The last scandal that we've seen in these experiments.
00:18:57.000 It was surprising.
00:18:59.000 It was shocking.
00:18:59.000 *Dramatic Music*
00:19:00.000 That's what he ends up with.
00:19:02.000 She's hot, but she also has fake lips. 1.00
00:19:04.000 What are you doing, girls? 0.96
00:19:07.000 oh i think Do you want to pursue that?
00:19:19.000 I do.
00:19:20.000 A private conversation?
00:19:21.000 No, no, it's good.
00:19:23.000 I feel like I've stepped in.
00:19:24.000 Should I go and sit over there?
00:19:25.000 I don't know.
00:19:26.000 Doesn't she look weird?
00:19:29.000 She looks like a normal girl. 0.94
00:19:30.000 No, she's had plastic surgery melted. 1.00
00:19:36.000 She looks like a normal, pretty girl wearing a mask.
00:19:40.000 I'm really into you.
00:19:42.000 I think you're amazing.
00:19:44.000 She looks like Sophia the robot if they paid more attention to what the robot looked like, as opposed to her looks are not her best quality.
00:19:53.000 Well, that that's not a that's kind of good.
00:19:56.000 Yeah, your best quality.
00:19:58.000 She looks great, but her personality is even better.
00:20:01.000 Wow, that's how great she is. 0.98
00:20:03.000 Why do they want to be so pretty? 1.00
00:20:05.000 All right, Neil.
00:20:06.000 That's it, it is.
00:20:07.000 I mean, I don't know what that is.
00:20:08.000 You know what?
00:20:09.000 Like a coordinate.
00:20:10.000 I like that my looks aren't my best feature.
00:20:12.000 Because I've got a great personality.
00:20:13.000 And she's like, I forgive you.
00:20:15.000 Let's be together.
00:20:16.000 And he's like, well, there's other things too.
00:20:19.000 This is from Neil.
00:20:20.000 Sue Chuck Polonik.
00:20:22.000 Wow, the character named Gavin McInnes is a self-hating gay.
00:20:25.000 That's the only possible reason he'd be right-wing.
00:20:28.000 Chuck Polonik's a gay Portlander and has completely lost touch.
00:20:31.000 He's basically writing revenge porn for his bubble-induced worldview.
00:20:35.000 No better way to red pill someone than to get litigious. 0.64
00:20:37.000 David Fincher made Fight Club a cultural happening from Chuck's fantasy of an alpha-dominant top who'd impale him with his turd sword.
00:20:46.000 After that, Hollywood threw him a bone with choke, and nobody's cared about him since.
00:20:49.000 He's an incredibly overrated writer.
00:20:51.000 Bury him.
00:20:53.000 P.S. Only side complaint is the missing list of bands playing Mercury Lounge, and I wouldn't mind more a cappella funk punk.
00:21:01.000 I love a cappella funk punk.
00:21:03.000 I'm going to say that next time people ask me what kind of music I like.
00:21:06.000 You probably wouldn't like it.
00:21:07.000 No, I'm interested in all genres.
00:21:09.000 Acapella funk punk.
00:21:11.000 Or as my friend, ex-girlfriend Nancy Wong used to say, whenever people asked her what kind of music she liked, she goes, early Jane, late chains, peppers and rage.
00:21:21.000 Actually, you probably like those bands.
00:21:23.000 Sounds like Nick.
00:21:24.000 It sounds like Nate Ober.
00:21:25.000 That joke is probably your record collection.
00:21:28.000 I've never heard any of those things.
00:21:29.000 Alice in Chains, yes.
00:21:31.000 Early Jane's Addiction.
00:21:32.000 Late Alice in Chains.
00:21:33.000 Red Out Chili Peppers.
00:21:33.000 Yes.
00:21:34.000 No.
00:21:35.000 Rage Against the Machine.
00:21:36.000 No.
00:21:36.000 So two for four.
00:21:38.000 But you like Alice in Chains.
00:21:41.000 They rock.
00:21:41.000 Hell yeah, bro.
00:21:43.000 Imagine liking Alice in Chains.
00:21:45.000 How dare you?
00:21:46.000 Imagine having that CD in your home.
00:21:48.000 I will not stand up.
00:21:50.000 Let me put on some Alice in Chains.
00:21:52.000 And yet I find.
00:21:54.000 Yet I find this.
00:21:56.000 I'd rather hold a dick. 0.56
00:21:58.000 That's terrible.
00:22:00.000 To get back to the Chuck Polynik thing, he's talking about, of course, Milo read from his new book that has me fillating my therapist.
00:22:08.000 And to be totally honest, I don't get it.
00:22:12.000 What's he going for?
00:22:14.000 Is he trying to make me mad?
00:22:16.000 Does he think that's going to make my blood boil?
00:22:18.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:22:20.000 Like, I don't give a shit about homosexuality. 0.97
00:22:22.000 So you might as well make me Amish in your book or an albino vegan.
00:22:28.000 It's gayer to describe a blowjob the way he did than...
00:22:34.000 Is he?
00:22:35.000 Yes.
00:22:36.000 We just said that.
00:22:37.000 Oh, I didn't hear the gay party.
00:22:38.000 A gay Portlander and has completely lost touch.
00:22:41.000 Do you remember that from one minute?
00:22:42.000 What is the word gay?
00:22:43.000 You know, everybody's gay that we don't like. 1.00
00:22:45.000 This is what he looks like.
00:22:47.000 A man, a young man, has done up an inflatable sex doll so it looks exactly like the woman he's obsessed with.
00:22:53.000 He's just all set.
00:22:54.000 Is he wearing a...
00:22:57.000 Oh, yes, he is.
00:22:58.000 Is he interrogating me in the tombs in Lower Manhattan?
00:23:01.000 You want a cigarette?
00:23:02.000 Is this the guy that offers you the cigarette or the bad cop?
00:23:04.000 Yeah, are you the good cop or the bad cop?
00:23:07.000 I think the good cop sits down.
00:23:08.000 Yes.
00:23:08.000 And the bad cop comes in, slaps around, and leaves.
00:23:10.000 So he's got to that.
00:23:13.000 And at the end of the scene.
00:23:14.000 But I honestly don't get the insult.
00:23:16.000 I guess he assumes I'm a homophobe, so I'm going to see that and my blood's going to boil.
00:23:20.000 Sorry, dude.
00:23:20.000 Maybe it's an invitation.
00:23:22.000 I like you.
00:23:22.000 Off the mark.
00:23:24.000 This is what it could be like.
00:23:26.000 All right.
00:23:26.000 But you're a ginger in it, by the way.
00:23:28.000 I'm a ginger.
00:23:29.000 I think you're a ginger.
00:23:30.000 Is that also supposed to make me mad?
00:23:32.000 You're right?
00:23:33.000 I don't know.
00:23:33.000 I would never have red hair, Chuck.
00:23:35.000 Fuck you.
00:23:37.000 Anyway, I don't think I can sue, technically, because he changed one letter.
00:23:42.000 And gave you a middle name, Baker.
00:23:44.000 Yeah.
00:23:46.000 And all they have to do at the beginning is say the people in this book may bear resemblance, but have no blah, blah, blah.
00:23:53.000 You know that disclaimer they say?
00:23:54.000 Or fiction and not based on anyone in reality.
00:23:57.000 And anyway, what's my case?
00:24:00.000 I don't like that.
00:24:01.000 Some people are going to read that and think I sucked a dick.
00:24:04.000 And I won't get a job, and I'll be ostracized in my community.
00:24:08.000 I went for a job interview at Chase Bank the other day, and they googled me, and after five pages of Nazi bullshit, they finally found a blowjob paragraph.
00:24:18.000 And after reading that, they said, you're out of here.
00:24:22.000 No Chase Bank for you, cocksucker. 1.00
00:24:25.000 So it's kind of a tough case.
00:24:27.000 You literarily suck cock. 0.90
00:24:31.000 Yeah.
00:24:32.000 And first and foremost, I don't give a tenth of a shit about this.
00:24:39.000 So I'm not randomly litigious.
00:24:41.000 I'm suing the SPLC with good reason and have a solid case that is crumbling their institution as we speak.
00:24:50.000 That's a case.
00:24:54.000 This is from James.
00:24:55.000 Gavin, I need help.
00:24:57.000 Uh-oh.
00:24:59.000 I love everything about the show.
00:25:00.000 Legitimately don't have any complaints with the amount of content I'm getting.
00:25:03.000 Anyway, I have a major issue in my life.
00:25:04.000 I have lived in an extremely Christian family my whole life.
00:25:07.000 And for the past five years or so, I have lost my faith.
00:25:10.000 I believe in God like you do, Gavin.
00:25:12.000 I'm a deist, but I don't believe in most of what my family does.
00:25:15.000 Everything and absolutely everyone I'm close to in my life is associated with these beliefs.
00:25:19.000 I have five siblings and 10 nieces and nephews I all love desperately and love to be around, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep pretending I believe what they do.
00:25:27.000 I've told no one.
00:25:29.000 How often does it come up?
00:25:31.000 Like when you sit in church, I don't think a deist would feel ostracized at a Catholic church.
00:25:38.000 Like they never very rarely specifically talk about what Jesus Christ did and the miracles, for example.
00:25:44.000 A lot of it is about interesting platitudes on how to live your life better.
00:25:48.000 And then you turn around and you say, peace be with you, peace be with you, peace be with you.
00:25:52.000 So I would say that if you are just focused on the main thing, God, and you are having trouble with the frills, that's nobody's business.
00:26:01.000 Just keep that to yourself.
00:26:03.000 And sometimes it might be a phase.
00:26:06.000 Who knows?
00:26:07.000 Yeah.
00:26:07.000 Just ignore it.
00:26:08.000 I mean, do they come up to you and go, hey, that was cool when Jesus turned all the water into wine, right?
00:26:13.000 And you go, I'm having a bit of trouble with that particular part.
00:26:18.000 What the fuck did you just say?
00:26:20.000 When is that going to come up?
00:26:22.000 It's not Islam. 1.00
00:26:23.000 That's the cool thing.
00:26:24.000 I'm almost 23 and I've never had a girlfriend.
00:26:24.000 I just feel completely alone.
00:26:26.000 Yeesh.
00:26:28.000 Anyone I know won't work out of faith.
00:26:32.000 You need a miracle to get laid. 1.00
00:26:35.000 You better get back to Jesus and pray for some pussy. 1.00
00:26:38.000 Trying to part the pink sea with the old staff rule.
00:26:41.000 You know what I mean?
00:26:42.000 I'm almost 23.
00:26:43.000 I've never had a girlfriend.
00:26:44.000 Anyone I know won't work out because there are different beliefs.
00:26:46.000 And anyone I could meet outside of my church circles would mean I'd have to tell everyone what I believe.
00:26:51.000 What?
00:26:52.000 Why?
00:26:54.000 Why is it anyone's business?
00:26:57.000 You know, one of the reasons I got into religion too, besides seeing my daughter's heel, was my wife.
00:27:03.000 I saw her.
00:27:04.000 We moved in together.
00:27:04.000 She's burning sage, which is some Indian bullshit hocus pocus.
00:27:09.000 And when you smell it, you say.
00:27:13.000 Holy fuck.
00:27:14.000 It's so weird seeing that little kid because he's gone.
00:27:16.000 Yeah.
00:27:17.000 Like now Johnny's tall.
00:27:18.000 Now he's got a chip on the shoulder.
00:27:20.000 He literally has a chip on his shoulder.
00:27:22.000 That little baby is gone.
00:27:24.000 I'll never see that again.
00:27:25.000 And it's almost like the new Johnny, like off him.
00:27:29.000 Yeah.
00:27:29.000 And with his brother, that kid used to make Spider-Man costumes himself and make robotic arms and stuff.
00:27:37.000 He'd recreate movie trailers.
00:27:39.000 There's some website that does frame-by-frame movie trailers, but they make them out of cardboard and stuff.
00:27:43.000 He would do all that stuff.
00:27:44.000 Then one day, baseball.
00:27:46.000 Baseball, baseball, stats.
00:27:48.000 He used to show that on the show all the time.
00:27:50.000 Like, look what he made.
00:27:50.000 And it was like crazy.
00:27:51.000 He hasn't made shit.
00:27:52.000 Like, Fortnite stuff.
00:27:54.000 He hasn't made shit in two years.
00:27:55.000 Nothing.
00:27:56.000 You should just stay here.
00:27:56.000 Although his Halloween costume was over the top.
00:27:58.000 It was the hamburger guy from Fortnite.
00:28:01.000 Right, right.
00:28:03.000 I'm generally a very happy person, but recently I'm becoming increasingly depressed and sometimes suicidal.
00:28:08.000 Same Christian guy? 1.00
00:28:08.000 Jesus, dude. 1.00
00:28:09.000 Yeah.
00:28:10.000 I really don't know what to do.
00:28:11.000 I feel stuck.
00:28:12.000 I could get more into the differences in beliefs, but just know they're not compatible.
00:28:15.000 I don't know what to do.
00:28:16.000 I've lived in Phoenix my whole life.
00:28:17.000 I'm so emotionally tied to everyone here.
00:28:19.000 And I love the climate.
00:28:20.000 It's a great place to work.
00:28:21.000 How can you love the climate in fucking Phoenix?
00:28:24.000 Are you a matchstick?
00:28:27.000 It's a great place for the work I do, so I don't want to leave, but I feel like that might be my best bet.
00:28:31.000 I desperately need your help, Gavin.
00:28:32.000 Thanks.
00:28:33.000 James.
00:28:34.000 James, dial it back in.
00:28:38.000 Tabernac to call this.
00:28:40.000 Modi kidis.
00:28:45.000 If you're a deist, that's like being a gay who doesn't like anal and only sucks dicks. 1.00
00:28:52.000 No one's going to find out.
00:28:54.000 It's nobody's business.
00:28:55.000 I don't, like, you're talking about these beliefs.
00:28:57.000 That's not going to come up.
00:28:59.000 You believe in God.
00:29:00.000 You're a Christian.
00:29:01.000 I'm sorry.
00:29:02.000 I'm sorry if you're having trouble with Jesus and the miracles.
00:29:05.000 Keep that to yourself.
00:29:06.000 Not everyone has to know everything about you.
00:29:08.000 Not everything has to be an open book.
00:29:10.000 I remember this about being a young man.
00:29:12.000 I cheated on my girlfriend when I was like 20 or 19.
00:29:16.000 And the first thing I did was, we were living together at the time, was come.
00:29:19.000 No, I called her from a payphone because I was in another city.
00:29:22.000 I called her and told her what I had done the night before.
00:29:25.000 Stefani, I'm sorry, but I cheated on you last night. 0.97
00:29:30.000 Tears.
00:29:31.000 What was I thinking?
00:29:34.000 Shut the fuck up, me. 0.99
00:29:37.000 Look, I've said this before and I'll say it again.
00:29:42.000 Women, your friends, not everyone has to know everything, especially if it's something that can hurt you. 0.99
00:29:47.000 Don't give your enemies fodder.
00:29:49.000 Don't give your friends fodder.
00:29:51.000 Don't make yourself vulnerable.
00:29:53.000 If you are running down the street and you trip with a cake in your hand and you fall face first in the cake, don't tell any women that that happened.
00:30:01.000 That's none of their business.
00:30:03.000 Might tell your very close friends.
00:30:04.000 That's funny.
00:30:05.000 Humiliating stories are self-deprecation is good with your close, close friends.
00:30:09.000 But don't tell chicks. 1.00
00:30:11.000 So why does she have to know about these different beliefs?
00:30:13.000 Fuck your beliefs.
00:30:15.000 Spirituality and faith is a very private thing.
00:30:18.000 So your take on it is 100% your business and nobody else's.
00:30:24.000 So I would just stop thinking so much, dude.
00:30:27.000 Maybe grab a six-pack once in a while.
00:30:30.000 And the fact that you haven't been laid, well, that's a whole other kettle of fish.
00:30:34.000 You're obviously too caught up in your own thoughts.
00:30:38.000 Here's my advice.
00:30:40.000 Talk.
00:30:41.000 Not about that, but just talk and talk and talk.
00:30:44.000 That's how you get laid. 1.00
00:30:45.000 You don't stop talking.
00:30:46.000 Talking, laughing, fucking.
00:30:49.000 Talk them all the way back to their apartment, right up into bed, start making out.
00:30:52.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:30:54.000 Don't let them get a word in edgewise.
00:30:56.000 Don't shut up.
00:30:57.000 That's how you get laid. 1.00
00:30:58.000 And that's, once you get laid, all these other problems will pale in comparison.
00:31:02.000 All right, we got room for one more.
00:31:06.000 This is from a guy named Miles, my brother's name.
00:31:09.000 Three profound philosophical questions.
00:31:15.000 Number one, is it really true that personality can make up for a lack of good looks?
00:31:21.000 Should I date a six if she's really cool? 1.00
00:31:24.000 Okay, so that's kind of two different things.
00:31:26.000 Because a man with a great personality, funny guy, he'll start making money.
00:31:30.000 He's charismatic.
00:31:31.000 And then women will be attracted to the money and the power and the charisma. 1.00
00:31:35.000 So I hope you agree that a guy with a scintillating personality can do very well for himself, which is why women aren't funny. 1.00
00:31:43.000 Because they don't have to be.
00:31:44.000 Christopher Hitchens explained this very well.
00:31:46.000 If men aren't funny, they're dead in the water. 0.79
00:31:48.000 So we develop a good sense of humor.
00:31:52.000 But as far as a chick goes, that's pretty tough. 1.00
00:31:56.000 I would recommend reading Charles Murray, The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead.
00:32:00.000 He talks about how you know how to choose a mate.
00:32:03.000 And there's a lot of important features.
00:32:05.000 Like, say you're punctual and neat, she should probably be punctual and neat. 0.99
00:32:10.000 There's certain differences you don't want to have.
00:32:15.000 But as far as just fucking chicks goes, sometimes it can be very good for you to fuck a six. 1.00
00:32:21.000 For example, the guy from the bleachers, he started fucking Lena Dunham for about a year, maybe two, and ruined her life.
00:32:30.000 She never got over it.
00:32:31.000 Her ovaries dried up.
00:32:32.000 Now she lives like an old lady in the West Village. 0.99
00:32:34.000 But for him, it gave him this credibility.
00:32:38.000 And he can date a fucking supermodel now, anyone he wants, because he showed that he's not shallow and he'll date the ugliest tub of shit available.
00:32:48.000 This guy is a hit maker.
00:32:50.000 He's had like several successful top five hits and he chose her.
00:32:55.000 So now he's gold.
00:32:57.000 When you're with a six, a lot of sevens go, I got this.
00:33:00.000 Yeah.
00:33:02.000 And a six is a good way to sort of keep.
00:33:04.000 It's like sparring.
00:33:05.000 You're not really fighting.
00:33:06.000 You're not trying to throw a punch to knock someone out, but you're staying in shape.
00:33:09.000 A six is just like keeping you in the game.
00:33:11.000 Now, you want to impress your friends.
00:33:14.000 It's a bummer if your friends aren't impressed with who you're dating.
00:33:18.000 So sometimes you got to throw a couple eights in there.
00:33:22.000 But yes, the short answer is yes, you should date a six if she's really cool. 0.99
00:33:26.000 Sixes were my bread and butter for many years.
00:33:28.000 Number two, is it true that less attractive women are more willing to do whatever you want in bed? 1.00
00:33:34.000 I just assume this is the case, but it might be because I'm a bit of a prick.
00:33:38.000 That is absolutely true, especially with regards to chubby chicks and fella.
00:33:44.000 And the funny thing about fucking a fat five is you will remember it for the rest of your life.
00:33:50.000 The supermodel, not so much.
00:33:53.000 They tend to fade away in your brain.
00:33:57.000 What are you doing?
00:33:57.000 I don't know that I was playing back there.
00:34:00.000 But yeah, you'll have the craziest night of your life with a big, fat, ugly pig. 1.00
00:34:05.000 I highly recommend it.
00:34:07.000 Number three, how does your wife not get pissed off at you for talking about all this stuff?
00:34:11.000 Does she not watch the show?
00:34:13.000 No, she cannot watch the show.
00:34:15.000 She hasn't read my book.
00:34:16.000 All this shit stresses her out.
00:34:18.000 So I don't even like, people will show me a clip and if she's in the room, I'll go, no, no, no, no.
00:34:24.000 She doesn't want to know it.
00:34:25.000 I might as well, literally, I'm not exaggerating.
00:34:28.000 I might as well do gay porn. 0.99
00:34:30.000 Like she wants to see this show as much as she wants to see me fucking a dude up the ass. 0.71
00:34:36.000 So I don't show her fucking a dude up the ass.
00:34:38.000 All right.
00:34:38.000 We got to go to New Jersey.
00:34:41.000 What was that?
00:34:42.000 Nothing wrong with that.
00:34:44.000 That's not a good clip.
00:34:45.000 I got to fix the volume.
00:34:46.000 Yeah.
00:34:46.000 Why don't you just call him and have him say nothing wrong with that?
00:34:49.000 Or I could overdub myself.
00:34:51.000 Yeah, overdub yourself.
00:34:52.000 And there won't be nothing wrong with that clip.