Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E126 - MAILBAG CATCHUP 2 [2020-02-18 - S02E126 - MAILBAG CATCHUP 2]

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 You had a blue jean.

00:00:27.000 Your eyes couldn't hide.

00:00:35.000 I saw you leaving that's good music to listen to by yourself, this Mordocoil like a kangaroo staring 1.00

00:01:09.000 You know, when their other big hit is on the floating shapeless ocean.

00:01:09.000 out.

00:01:19.000 I mean, if you look up this mortal coil, it'll be the first thing that comes up.

00:01:23.000 When I rose, song to the sirens.

00:01:26.000 Songs of the sirens, that's it.

00:01:27.000 Oh, there's a video.

00:01:29.000 I fucked this girl, by the way. 1.00

00:01:30.000 That's a leaf.

00:01:32.000 Oh.

00:01:34.000 I actually did fuck a swamp once.

00:01:37.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:38.000 That's right.

00:01:39.000 You literally fucked the world.

00:01:41.000 Yeah, we were tree planting.

00:01:42.000 Someone said, fuck the world.

00:01:43.000 And I said, I will fuck the world.

00:01:44.000 watch this.

00:01:44.000 And I got a boner and I went over to the swamp and I started.

00:01:47.000 Oh, All right, let's hear this.

00:01:53.000 I did all my best in smiles.

00:02:00.000 What kind of music is this?

00:02:04.000 Anyways, good band, this Mortal Coil, British Band.

00:02:07.000 Like Sinead O'Connor in the shower? 1.00

00:02:09.000 I was having sex with Stephanie Alcock was her name, unfortunately. 1.00

00:02:14.000 And I did, this is back when it was like my first or second time, and it wasn't going in.

00:02:20.000 It was going in between her legs and into the dirt. 0.98

00:02:23.000 And the leaves.

00:02:25.000 I have fucked a leaf.

00:02:27.000 And my foreskin had like twigs in it the next day.

00:02:31.000 So I fucked the world twice.

00:02:33.000 And she found out that she was on my list of girls that I've done it with, which was not a very big list back then.

00:02:39.000 And she goes, I want to get my name off that fucking list.

00:02:42.000 You didn't fuck me.

00:02:44.000 Have you seen her here?

00:02:47.000 She must be 50 years old.

00:02:49.000 It's weird because I'm expecting a punk.

00:02:52.000 Hmm.

00:02:53.000 They really mean Timker?

00:02:53.000 No.

00:02:57.000 Yes, it is.

00:03:02.000 I bet I can find her.

00:03:05.000 Yeah, there she is. 1.00

00:03:07.000 And I saw you walking out in space.

00:03:11.000 Oh, is this an autofocus?

00:03:13.000 I don't believe so.

00:03:14.000 You can bring it to this one.

00:03:20.000 That's her there.

00:03:27.000 Oh, you can use this bike.

00:03:34.000 That's her there.

00:03:38.000 Red hair, huh?

00:03:39.000 Pink.

00:03:40.000 This is back when punk began.

00:03:42.000 I'm in here somewhere.

00:03:45.000 There I am.

00:03:49.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:52.000 That's me and the other.

00:03:55.000 Want to see my graduation photo?

00:03:58.000 Okay.

00:04:00.000 Fine, I'll find it.

00:04:02.000 See.

00:04:05.000 Look at...

00:04:06.000 Look at my buddy Paul Toddy.

00:04:08.000 He made his name Wolfgang Rosenpenis.

00:04:11.000 Wow.

00:04:14.000 How do you do that?

00:04:16.000 Thank you.

00:04:18.000 Oh, they changed it to Wolfgang Rosenpeter.

00:04:21.000 He originally wrote Wolfgang Rosen Penis.

00:04:26.000 There we go.

00:04:30.000 Is that focused?

00:04:31.000 I can't believe you make fun of my hair, but it was awesome.

00:04:33.000 That's cool hair.

00:04:34.000 Yeah, my hair was awesome, too.

00:04:36.000 No, no.

00:04:37.000 Look, I've got the sides are dyed black, and then the top is blonde.

00:04:40.000 So I just needed a dye dog. 0.83

00:04:43.000 Listen to this.

00:04:47.000 Where is it now?

00:04:50.000 This is from Big Kimmy, the girl I lost my virginity to.

00:04:52.000 Gav, I've really enjoyed our four years together, and I do mean together.

00:04:57.000 I hope you enjoyed eating my pussy and fucking my brains out. 0.99

00:05:00.000 It was a real fantasy.

00:05:01.000 Even though you're moving out next year, we're still going to get together because I think I'm addicted to you.

00:05:05.000 I hope I made your first time memorable for those kinky notes you wrote me. 0.99

00:05:09.000 I'll show them to my grandchildren.

00:05:11.000 They'll love them.

00:05:12.000 You're an excellent lay.

00:05:13.000 Keep the magic in your penis and always keep in touch. 0.91

00:05:19.000 She is a grandmother now.

00:05:21.000 That's weird.

00:05:22.000 You know what happened to her?

00:05:23.000 She decided to pursue a career in crack cocaine.

00:05:28.000 In Oshawa, Ontario, they would make all the crack for Toronto because the local cops didn't recognize the smell.

00:05:36.000 You can't make crack in bulk in a big city because cops will suss it out.

00:05:41.000 But these small-town cops didn't get it.

00:05:43.000 And so they would make crack in Oshawa, which was a GM town outside of Toronto.

00:05:49.000 And then, because there's crack everywhere, people started doing crack.

00:05:53.000 And I think this is, my theory with her is sex is better on crack and speed and stuff.

00:05:58.000 And I think she was a born nymphomaniac.

00:06:04.000 And she went to crack because it made her sex better. 0.99

00:06:08.000 Sort of like Indians, like American Indians, First Nations in Canada.

00:06:12.000 They'll do crack, but I don't think it's for the crack.

00:06:14.000 It's so they can drink more beer.

00:06:17.000 But she did crack so she could have more sex. 1.00

00:06:18.000 It's an enhancer for your original vice.

00:06:21.000 Yeah, and she was so libidinous that she made five kids from like 19 to 24. 1.00

00:06:28.000 And then abandoned the whole family, All her children to pursue crack. 1.00

00:06:28.000 Wow. 1.00

00:06:32.000 Pursue crack.

00:06:34.000 A career in crack.

00:06:36.000 Welcome to day two of the catching up on the mailbag.

00:06:40.000 I hope you don't mind that we're doing two days of mail.

00:06:44.000 Actually, I don't give a shit what you think.

00:06:45.000 I think these letters are really good and it's a great way to have variety in a show.

00:06:52.000 Hit it.

00:06:54.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:06:58.000 Let's turn our eyes together.

00:07:04.000 Let me touch it.

00:07:05.000 Wait a second.

00:07:08.000 Sorry, I didn't have it prepared here.

00:07:09.000 It's not very professional of me.

00:07:12.000 This is from Dennis.

00:07:15.000 We don't give a damn.

00:07:17.000 Adam Schiff explained.

00:07:20.000 Twilight Zone episode from 1962, 4 o'clock.

00:07:25.000 I judge others.

00:07:26.000 It's my duty.

00:07:27.000 What's the time code on that?

00:07:29.000 The time?

00:07:30.000 There's no time code.

00:07:31.000 It's two minutes.

00:07:32.000 I don't threaten people.

00:07:34.000 I compile them.

00:07:36.000 He looks like Adam Schiff.

00:07:38.000 Investigate them, analyze them.

00:07:42.000 Then I categorize them and I judge them.

00:07:46.000 If they're impure and evil, then they must be punished.

00:07:49.000 If, on the other hand, they're simply misled or naïve or unsophisticated, then I point out to them the right way.

00:07:58.000 Oh, is that?

00:08:00.000 Oh, I mean, is that what you're doing?

00:08:02.000 You know what you should do?

00:08:03.000 Indeed.

00:08:04.000 Go to the culture.

00:08:06.000 Mrs. Chloe Witch.

00:08:07.000 Culture C-U-L-T-T-T-U-R-E, H-Q. 1.00

00:08:11.000 Go to Culture Instagram right now.

00:08:13.000 I recently unearthed because that is an interesting Twilight Zone, and it reminded me of what modern journalism has become, which is just tattletale culture.

00:08:24.000 Tattling.

00:08:25.000 Not getting the news, not informing people, not discovering things, but just ratting people out.

00:08:31.000 And the best example of this are these hate watch losers like Andy Campbell at Huffington Post, Will Summer, what's his name?

00:08:43.000 Christopher Matthias.

00:08:45.000 All these guys that just like hunt proud boys and are obsessed with proud boys.

00:08:50.000 Like, why don't you make your own thing and stop worrying about other people?

00:08:53.000 And if you're against hate, why don't you give a shit about the black Hebrew Israelites or jihadism or homophobia?

00:08:59.000 And I actually confronted Will Summer at Roger Stone's trial and I said, hey, I'm just curious why you only focus on white people when it comes to hate, especially white males.

00:09:09.000 Like you don't seem to care about anyone else hating.

00:09:13.000 And he goes, well, every reporter has their beat, you know?

00:09:15.000 And I said, no, that's not why, Will.

00:09:17.000 It's because you're a fucking pussy. 1.00

00:09:19.000 And I said, fucking like, fuck you with my heels on.

00:09:23.000 I said, it's because you're a fucking pussy. 1.00

00:09:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:28.000 And he goes, alrighty.

00:09:30.000 And then he just sort of trotted off like a pussy. 1.00

00:09:32.000 But the culture thing I'm talking about is Jacob Wohl, who's mad woke in a good way, has been accruing evidence that Will Summer is a, nope, that's not it.

00:09:49.000 Is a spook, a Fed.

00:09:53.000 Where is it now?

00:09:54.000 Is it on their story?

00:09:56.000 No, it's appeared on their doohickey.

00:10:00.000 So it's not.

00:10:01.000 Why isn't it appearing there for you?

00:10:02.000 Is it already delivered?

00:10:03.000 IGTV, maybe.

00:10:05.000 No?

00:10:06.000 No, it's culture.

00:10:07.000 The culture fucking Instagram.

00:10:09.000 Yeah, yeah, I'm on there, but there's three different things.

00:10:10.000 You can go to tagged.

00:10:12.000 You can go to IGTV, which is their little like.

00:10:16.000 This is a six-minute thing.

00:10:17.000 It could be this.

00:10:18.000 No, it's not that.

00:10:20.000 Fuck.

00:10:21.000 I don't understand why it's on my thing and not your thing.

00:10:24.000 Let me see what it looks like.

00:10:26.000 Look up Jacob Wohl.

00:10:27.000 Do you know who that is?

00:10:28.000 Yeah.

00:10:31.000 Talking about Will Summer.

00:10:34.000 Because a lot of these tattletales are more than just tattletales.

00:10:38.000 They are feds who are sent in to disrupt, disarm Trump.

00:10:44.000 That's the real beef with Proud Boys, is that they are making Trump look appealing.

00:10:49.000 And we can't have that.

00:10:50.000 We have to turn them into Nazis. 0.97

00:10:53.000 I suspect that what you're really asking is is No.

00:10:58.000 This is annoying.

00:11:02.000 No.

00:11:07.000 Why is something appearing on mine and not yours?

00:11:13.000 And why are people at home?

00:11:15.000 You know, it reminds me of when Ezra Levant was in Britain covering Tommy Robinson's trial.

00:11:22.000 And they said, oh, he took a picture of Tommy in the hallway of the old Bailey, the oldest court in the land.

00:11:32.000 Now, you're not allowed to use your phones in court, and technically, you could argue that using them in...

00:11:46.000 Oh, I thought this was new or something.

00:11:49.000 Well, it's pretty new.

00:11:50.000 It's one, two, three, four, five, six, eight.

00:11:53.000 What does it look like, though?

00:11:54.000 This.

00:11:57.000 Which one?

00:11:58.000 This!

00:11:59.000 Oh, the guy's face?

00:12:02.000 Yeah, because I have nothing to bounce it off of.

00:12:05.000 Because you don't know who Jacob Wall is because you're incurious.

00:12:08.000 No, nobody looks like it.

00:12:09.000 It doesn't really look like that, usually.

00:12:11.000 Well, why did that take you so long?

00:12:12.000 I was a media professional who writes hit piece after hit piece about myself, Laura Loomer.

00:12:18.000 I recently unearthed an article about Will Summer from 2007 called Blogger Unearths Pro-Moroccan Propaganda Campaign.

00:12:29.000 And it shows Will Summer posted overseas someplace with a tough book, you know, one of those old laptops from 2007, writing blog posts.

00:12:39.000 You know, Will went to Georgetown, an infamous spook school. 1.00

00:12:43.000 Is it possible that Will Summer is CIA?

00:12:46.000 Sure looks like it.

00:12:47.000 I think we need to look a little more deeply.

00:12:50.000 Is Will Summer a mockingbird CIA asset?

00:12:54.000 It's not everybody that just goes to Georgetown, lives in D.C., makes a living inexplicably well.

00:13:00.000 Mysteriously writes about pro-Moroccan propaganda campaigns in 2007.

00:13:06.000 Are you kidding me?

00:13:08.000 This guy's a spook. 1.00

00:13:09.000 You guys know our friend Will Summer.

00:13:11.000 So that's interesting.

00:13:12.000 That's a funny thing, too.

00:13:13.000 Like, our side is full of fake fucking plants, like the base.

00:13:19.000 Oh, hate is on the rise in America.

00:13:21.000 Look, there's a group called The Base run by a CIA analyst.

00:13:26.000 Meanwhile, their side is just openly full of hate.

00:13:32.000 Like Ilhan Omar and Rashid Talib.

00:13:36.000 We are fucking up against some shit here, boys.

00:13:39.000 All right, let's lighten the tone.

00:13:42.000 The fake, this is from Poff, Poi.

00:13:45.000 The fake face shit, like the Ezra Levant thing, is fucking comedy gold.

00:13:48.000 Just plan that shit better.

00:13:50.000 Okay?

00:13:51.000 Yeah, I like when we have guests on with weird mouths. 0.99

00:13:58.000 Coke and Parkinson's.

00:13:59.000 Dude, this is the same guy just sending me emails like we're friends.

00:14:03.000 That's one of the reasons, too, this email clogs up so much because there's people just going, hey man, have you ever tried Diet Pepsi?

00:14:10.000 It's pretty good.

00:14:13.000 Hey, my mom's here.

00:14:14.000 I gotta go.

00:14:15.000 That's nice.

00:14:16.000 Dude, are you serious?

00:14:17.000 I only tried Coke because of how to be a man. 0.85

00:14:20.000 And now you're telling me I'm gonna have Michael J. Fox hands?

00:14:23.000 You need to gargle a 10-gallon cock if this is true. 0.80

00:14:26.000 Jesus.

00:14:27.000 I can't handle a 10-gallon ding-dong. 1.00

00:14:31.000 That's not how you measure ding-dong, by the way.

00:14:34.000 This is from Benny.

00:14:35.000 I agree with the 95% theory.

00:14:38.000 It reminded me of a Seinfeld episode in which he says 95% of the population is undateable.

00:14:43.000 Going out on a blind date?

00:14:45.000 I'm not worried.

00:14:46.000 He sounds like he's really good looking.

00:14:48.000 laughter We going by sound?

00:14:50.000 What are we, whales?

00:14:53.000 I think I can tell.

00:14:54.000 Owen, what percentage of people would you say are good looking?

00:14:56.000 This is all we need to be given.

00:14:58.000 25%?

00:14:59.000 No way.

00:15:00.000 It's like 4-6%.

00:15:02.000 It's a 20-to-one shot.

00:15:04.000 You're way off.

00:15:05.000 Way off?

00:15:05.000 Yeah.

00:15:06.000 Have you been to the Motor Vehicle Bureau?

00:15:07.000 It's a leper colony, then. 0.63

00:15:10.000 Basically, what you're saying is 95% of the population is undatable.

00:15:15.000 Undatable!

00:15:17.000 How are all these people getting together?

00:15:19.000 Alcohol.

00:15:22.000 That's funny.

00:15:23.000 That's the line definitely written by Larry David.

00:15:26.000 And then he has George Costanza, who is Larry David, look at the guy and go, hmm, yeah, pretty smart guy.

00:15:34.000 Stand in me agrees.

00:15:35.000 Boy, Stand in Me is a big fan of my writing.

00:15:39.000 Yeah, I think we're on to something here.

00:15:41.000 This is one of the, the 95% thing is one of the oldest symbos in the history of civilization.

00:15:49.000 I really feel like this 95 thing is a message from God.

00:15:52.000 Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.

00:15:56.000 Never.

00:15:57.000 The symbols.

00:15:58.000 It's never not going to be funny.

00:16:03.000 It could be a message from God where he says, look, I'm handling it, nature nurture, and I got you 95%.

00:16:09.000 But if I handled 100%, this would just be a Sims game and you'd be robots.

00:16:13.000 So I'm giving you five.

00:16:15.000 Don't fuck up.

00:16:17.000 And people have done a lot with that five.

00:16:21.000 It's true.

00:16:22.000 It's true.

00:16:23.000 That's true.

00:16:25.000 This is from David.

00:16:26.000 Holy fuck, it says.

00:16:30.000 What did you do that for?

00:16:34.000 I was trying to do this.

00:16:37.000 Trying to do this.

00:16:38.000 That's true.

00:16:40.000 Let's play a game, Gavin.

00:16:41.000 I'm going to be Gavin.

00:16:42.000 You play Ryan.

00:16:43.000 I say to you, holy fuck, why did you breathe?

00:16:45.000 You say, I know I kind of took a deep breath there.

00:16:48.000 Two minutes later, holy fuck, Ryan, never speak when I'm talking about something.

00:16:51.000 You say, oh, okay.

00:16:53.000 Two minutes later, I say, Jesus Christ, did you think that was funny?

00:16:56.000 You say, two minutes later, I say, tabarnak, are you fucking breathing again?

00:17:03.000 And then I say, yeah, sorry.

00:17:05.000 This happens a dozen times a show recently.

00:17:08.000 As a viewer, it's past the point of annoying.

00:17:11.000 It's not funny.

00:17:15.000 There's no back and forth.

00:17:16.000 It's always just you shitting on him.

00:17:18.000 So with all this being written, shit or get off the pot, Ryan.

00:17:22.000 Oh, should have got off the pot with Ryan.

00:17:24.000 That's what he's saying.

00:17:26.000 Chill out.

00:17:26.000 Teach him to be better.

00:17:27.000 Be better.

00:17:28.000 Or replace his ass.

00:17:29.000 I still love you more than a friend, but you may simply be friend zone of this.

00:17:32.000 Can people get our sayings right?

00:17:35.000 It's, I like you more than a friend.

00:17:38.000 I love you more than a friend.

00:17:40.000 It's, I like you more than a friend, and I like your new sunglasses.

00:17:43.000 Stop saying, I love your new sunglasses.

00:17:45.000 The guy's a real fool.

00:17:48.000 You know, he's got a lot to say, but frankly, he's a fool.

00:17:54.000 But he was defending Ryan.

00:17:56.000 Do you think I'm too hard on Ryan, Mr. President?

00:17:58.000 I think Ryan has a lot to learn.

00:18:00.000 He's a young guy, bright guy.

00:18:02.000 But, you know, when you make mistakes, somebody's got to call you out.

00:18:06.000 You know, Nancy Pelosi recently said that you shouldn't have gotten involved in the Roger Stone case.

00:18:12.000 Shouldn't have even said anything.

00:18:13.000 Do you agree with that?

00:18:14.000 She is the wicked witch of the left. 1.00

00:18:18.000 That's what I'm going to call her.

00:18:20.000 So you don't agree with her?

00:18:22.000 What are you going to do about Roger Stone?

00:18:27.000 Hello?

00:18:28.000 Hello, Mr. President.

00:18:31.000 What's your plan with Roger Stone?

00:18:32.000 Well, if you want me to tell you the truth, I'm going to pardon him when the election is over.

00:18:38.000 So he's only going to be in there for a little bit.

00:18:42.000 I'm going to grow this beard out until he's free.

00:18:45.000 Oh, that's why you have that weird mustache, that weird Chinese mustache. 1.00

00:18:49.000 It's not weird.

00:18:51.000 It looks pretty weird.

00:18:52.000 It looks adolescent.

00:18:53.000 It's a great mustache.

00:18:55.000 Okay.

00:18:55.000 Clearly, you don't know mustaches.

00:18:57.000 I know mustaches.

00:18:58.000 Nobody knows mustaches like I know mustaches.

00:19:00.000 And this is a great jab.

00:19:02.000 Okay.

00:19:03.000 Well, thank you for your help.

00:19:04.000 You're welcome.

00:19:08.000 Captain Geese.

00:19:10.000 Tuesday's show, Jim Carrey is an asshole, was the best show you have ever put together.

00:19:16.000 I experienced, in this order, happiness, sadness, anger, and disgust.

00:19:22.000 And thank you for using the Oxford comma there, sir.

00:19:26.000 All before going into my work on my day off.

00:19:28.000 You dudes made the shitty Day Bearable.

00:19:30.000 Fuck Jim Carrey in the eye.

00:19:32.000 Been a subscriber since almost the beginning, and this was your best work.

00:19:36.000 Thank you.

00:19:36.000 Ooh, that's good to know.

00:19:38.000 Also, I loathe when people email to give you show suggestions, so I guess I'm an asshole.

00:19:43.000 But would you guys consider doing a history of English rock show?

00:19:46.000 No.

00:19:47.000 Curious why the music from different cities took on such different sounds, even though geographically they're fairly close and all the people are presumably English.

00:19:54.000 I'm curious enough to watch, but not curious enough to look it up for myself.

00:19:57.000 Figured a Scottish punk rocker would have an interesting take on the subject.

00:20:01.000 British people are parochial. 1.00

00:20:03.000 That's why you have a different accent every 10 miles. 0.99

00:20:06.000 They don't move around.

00:20:07.000 Because all of the ambitious ones came to America or were killed in World War II.

00:20:14.000 So you're left with people who don't feel like moving around much.

00:20:19.000 And that's why Welsh sounds like a whole different language than Scottish or English.

00:20:25.000 Now, they're also very good at music, and that's because the weather sucks.

00:20:29.000 So they stay indoors a lot.

00:20:31.000 And what do you do when you're indoors?

00:20:32.000 Well, TV is pretty recent.

00:20:34.000 So up until then, you'd be like, Someone wrote in a letter, maybe we'll get to it today, where they said, actually, Jim Carrey is really funny.

00:20:46.000 Fuck you.

00:20:47.000 And he's actually a really good artist.

00:20:49.000 I mean, you might not agree with him politically, but if you check out his Instagram or something and his sketches, his sketches suck shit.

00:20:59.000 They are juvenile.

00:21:01.000 He uses markers like a little kid does.

00:21:04.000 He's a fucking useless artist.

00:21:07.000 Look at that.

00:21:08.000 Look at that.

00:21:10.000 I'm not exaggerating.

00:21:11.000 I know this is a cliche.

00:21:12.000 My kids are better artists than that.

00:21:14.000 Look at that Robin Williams one.

00:21:17.000 Robin Williams.

00:21:18.000 Oh, this is his best work of art.

00:21:21.000 Look at the stupid scribbling with the yellow and the green.

00:21:26.000 And his gay signature.

00:21:28.000 Look at that.

00:21:29.000 He's fucking terrible at drawing.

00:21:33.000 Oh.

00:21:34.000 I didn't think I could look any worse.

00:21:42.000 Abe Lincoln's crying.

00:21:44.000 Jim Carrey is the absolute fucking worst.

00:21:48.000 At least you know who it is, though.

00:21:49.000 That's Giuliani, right?

00:21:50.000 Yep.

00:21:51.000 Okay.

00:21:51.000 That's Tump taking a toxic dump thing.

00:21:56.000 What do you call them?

00:21:57.000 Obstiferous bloating.

00:22:01.000 Whatever.

00:22:02.000 Bloviating. 0.73

00:22:04.000 Gav, I seen your bit on Jim Carrey.

00:22:08.000 Who writes I seen your bit?

00:22:10.000 Is that a hoser or a New Yorker?

00:22:12.000 They both say use guys.

00:22:14.000 I seen your bit on Jim Carrey and think you missed the biggest points of why he's a douche.

00:22:18.000 I think you should do a follow-up, eh?

00:22:20.000 One, on the Andy Kaufman Netflix docs you refer to, it was discussed that Jim Carrey had a fully kitted out actress trailer, which he never used once as he was in the character of Andy Kaufman.

00:22:31.000 He totally pissed off the rest of the cast and the director.

00:22:35.000 Two, Jerry Lawler, the wrestler that befriended the real Andy Kaufman, said Jim was a fucking complete asshole and stayed in character when Andy was such a nice and kind man.

00:22:46.000 I think Jerry might have hit Jim Carrey on the set, but I can't find the link.

00:22:51.000 Yeah, that was the thing.

00:22:52.000 He's like, oh, the studios didn't want people to think I'm an asshole.

00:22:55.000 No, they didn't want people to know you're an asshole.

00:22:57.000 Well, I'm not an asshole.

00:22:58.000 I was doing Andy Kaufman.

00:23:00.000 Andy Kaufman was one of the nicest, coolest guys ever.

00:23:04.000 He was not known as an asshole.

00:23:06.000 You are, Jim.

00:23:08.000 Even Lawler in that documentary was like, he wasn't like that.

00:23:12.000 We have respect for each other.

00:23:16.000 Number three.

00:23:18.000 Jim Carrey was one of the guests on Norm McDonald's talk show on Netflix.

00:23:21.000 On a number of occasions, he corrected Norm when referring to him as he.

00:23:26.000 Jim doesn't exist.

00:23:27.000 He's just an entity or some shit like that.

00:23:30.000 Oh, that we got to dig up.

00:23:34.000 Jim doesn't, he doesn't think he exists.

00:23:37.000 That's kind of true, actually.

00:23:40.000 Because everyone thinks he's such a great comedic actor.

00:23:43.000 He's just doing all the TV characters he's seen.

00:23:48.000 He just mimics the TV.

00:23:50.000 He's Zealig. 1.00

00:23:51.000 He's just a mirror.

00:23:53.000 I found the clip, but I think we can do better on actual Netflix because there's shows there in HD.

00:23:59.000 And there's only one clip, and I don't know if it's the one.

00:24:02.000 But we would have got the idea, Ryan.

00:24:05.000 Okay.

00:24:10.000 Let's start here.

00:24:10.000 You have a chair.

00:24:11.000 No.

00:24:12.000 I'm completely sensitive to camera angles.

00:24:14.000 I know exactly what I'm doing.

00:24:16.000 Excellent.

00:24:16.000 I guess Jim Carrey, who knows cameras.

00:24:19.000 Yeah.

00:24:19.000 Have you ever made love to a camera, literally?

00:24:22.000 To a camera?

00:24:23.000 Yeah, they say.

00:24:26.000 This is pretty interesting, isn't it?

00:24:27.000 This is the first.

00:24:30.000 Is this a chair?

00:24:31.000 Is it a shit shot with a box of film?

00:24:34.000 Yeah.

00:24:35.000 No.

00:24:36.000 Where can you obtain this?

00:24:37.000 It's only good if you sport this one.

00:24:39.000 Look at that.

00:24:41.000 The cow.

00:24:43.000 The cow.

00:24:46.000 This is good stuff.

00:24:47.000 You know what I think is going on here?

00:24:50.000 Jim recognizes that Norm is much funnier than him.

00:24:52.000 And he has to do something.

00:24:54.000 And he's uncomfortable.

00:24:55.000 So he's like, rather than compete head-to-head, I'm just going to go right off the edge.

00:24:59.000 Yeah, because then he'd be a straight man.

00:25:01.000 Yeah, I can't a market of free jokes.

00:25:08.000 Yeah, that's plus.

00:25:10.000 Plus, it has ghee, which is purified butter.

00:25:13.000 It is the greatest drink that you can put in your body.

00:25:17.000 Oh, but Jim.

00:25:20.000 It's working!

00:25:27.000 Oh, God.

00:25:29.000 Man, I'm so sorry.

00:25:30.000 Butter disrespect. 0.98

00:25:31.000 Did he break one of the letters?

00:25:34.000 He took off the.

00:25:35.000 In a moment.

00:25:38.000 What a shit stain.

00:25:41.000 Yikes.

00:25:42.000 I'm tired.

00:25:44.000 Dude, lay down.

00:25:46.000 Jim Carrey makes me want to lay down.

00:25:50.000 Alrighty then.

00:25:52.000 Alrighty then.

00:25:54.000 Wondering, after all you've done in your career and in your life, is there anything still left on your bucket list?

00:25:59.000 Just you.

00:26:00.000 I want to date you until you commit suicide.

00:26:03.000 It's all done now.

00:26:06.000 I don't know what to say to that.

00:26:08.000 Just own it.

00:26:09.000 Okay, I'm owning it now.

00:26:11.000 Oh.

00:26:13.000 *Groan*

00:26:17.000 Hi.

00:26:20.000 I want you to know that you're wonderful.

00:26:23.000 And if I was a lot younger, we'd be dating.

00:26:27.000 We'd swing on a swing set and roast marshmallows and tell ghost stories by the campfire.

00:26:35.000 But I'd have a few wrinkles and a few lines and seen a few things, done some stuff.

00:26:44.000 So I'm too old for you.

00:26:48.000 Let's see what he says.

00:26:49.000 Smart and kind-hearted.

00:26:53.000 And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you.

00:26:56.000 The REM, this is number four.

00:26:58.000 The REM song Man on the Moon, I assume, isn't your taste?

00:27:01.000 No, it's not.

00:27:01.000 Although I heard some good gossip about Michael Stipe.

00:27:05.000 I heard he reeks.

00:27:06.000 Ew.

00:27:07.000 Yeah.

00:27:08.000 No one wants to go near him.

00:27:09.000 And he loves to go to shows.

00:27:11.000 And every time he's at a show, there's like a five-foot radius around him.

00:27:15.000 Like he reeks like a homeless man.

00:27:19.000 The REM song Man on the Moon, Jim Carrey, refused to be in the video for as the character of Andy was no longer being played.

00:27:27.000 And Jim did not know of a movie.

00:27:33.000 Oh, so he's in character for as long as the movie is.

00:27:36.000 And then when the movie's done shooting, that Andy Kaufman's dead.

00:27:41.000 And so when they go, hey, Jim, can you be in this movie?

00:27:43.000 He's like, what movie?

00:27:45.000 I remember up until September 3rd.

00:27:48.000 And then there's a jump to February 6th.

00:27:53.000 Apparently I was someone else.

00:27:55.000 Will you fuck off?

00:27:57.000 Daniel Day-Lewis does this shit too, where he's a gimp in my left foot, and the PAs have to carry him like from his wheelchair and shit. 1.00

00:28:10.000 Like there's a lot of people I don't like.

00:28:11.000 Like Jeremy Piven gives me the heebie-jeebies, but I love hating him.

00:28:16.000 Or Alan Cummings is super fucking annoying.

00:28:19.000 I hate Common, the rapper intellectual who's a retard. 1.00

00:28:26.000 But Jim Carrey's different.

00:28:30.000 You don't laugh at him like you want to stab him.

00:28:34.000 I want to throw him off a cliff.

00:28:38.000 I want to lower him really slowly into a volcano.

00:28:50.000 But that's Andy wasn't like that.

00:28:53.000 He's doing the wrestling heel character.

00:28:55.000 Yeah.

00:28:57.000 I'll tell you something.

00:28:58.000 You are not welcome here, okay?

00:29:00.000 You are not welcome here.

00:29:01.000 Alright, Lawler?

00:29:02.000 I'm not afraid of you.

00:29:06.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:29:08.000 Don't scare me.

00:29:09.000 You have to work now.

00:29:10.000 Andy, you are here to work.

00:29:14.000 It's Bob Zamuda.

00:29:16.000 Andy, Andy.

00:29:19.000 You know, everyone has to play this stupid game?

00:29:23.000 How self-indulgent can you get?

00:29:26.000 I'm sorry, folks, for wasting so much of your time on this fucking horrible shit stain.

00:29:29.000 It takes the energy out of my human body.

00:29:32.000 Out of my human being.

00:29:33.000 But you did say that, though.

00:29:35.000 I feel like taking a nap.

00:29:36.000 And we started this show with this mortal coil, and the mortal coil is your body.

00:29:41.000 When you die, you say you're leaving this mortal coil.

00:29:45.000 In this link, Sasha, this is number five now.

00:29:47.000 In this link, Sasha Baron Cohen, Jim Carrey, and several other Hollywood actors sat around while Sasha reminisces on how upset he was when Trump won the election.

00:29:59.000 He passionately describes his distaste and upset while Jim smiles and nods with an asshole smug face.

00:30:04.000 Check it out.

00:30:08.000 And then in the end, I was so angry, I felt I actually have to channel that into some characters who could sit with some of those people.

00:30:19.000 You know, because I wanted to sit with those people who were his friends.

00:30:24.000 You know, and that was actually what you sometimes do through other artistic means.

00:30:29.000 I was like, it was strange because I come out of a period of doing a bunch of movies.

00:30:33.000 I'm like, I have to go back to this old style of comedy that's difficult for me to do, but I have to do it because I'm so upset.

00:30:42.000 Why does everyone worship Sasha Baron Cohen so much?

00:30:45.000 Borat was groundbreaking and hilarious.

00:30:48.000 The dictator was a total flop because it sucked. 0.84

00:30:52.000 Then he had that soccer hooligan thing where he was so mad at the singer of Oasis that he built a whole show on The Boys Grimsby, Brothers Grimsby.

00:31:02.000 It's called The Brothers Grimm, I think.

00:31:04.000 It's actually a great movie to show your 10-year-old boy.

00:31:07.000 It's juvenile.

00:31:09.000 But it flopped.

00:31:12.000 The Alley G movie sucked and didn't go anywhere.

00:31:15.000 So he's had like one hit.

00:31:17.000 The Bruno movie sucked.

00:31:18.000 It was just like watching Bruno on HBO.

00:31:20.000 Maybe because he's been tamed.

00:31:23.000 He was pretty not PC talking about.

00:31:25.000 He's super Jewy and he's into Israel and he's a Zionist. 0.65

00:31:29.000 You got your perfect president.

00:31:31.000 There's no possible president who could be more pro-Israel and pro-Jew than Donald Trump.

00:31:37.000 And you're fucking so mad.

00:31:39.000 Why?

00:31:41.000 I didn't really care how the show went down.

00:31:44.000 I mean, I showed him going to be upset about this.

00:31:47.000 I said to him, okay, I'm not doing any publicity because I just had to get it out of my system.

00:31:53.000 I'm curious about sitting with the various people.

00:31:57.000 Turn it up.

00:31:59.000 That you had struck gold.

00:32:00.000 What were you looking for?

00:32:01.000 What was success?

00:32:03.000 You feel it in the room.

00:32:05.000 I mean, the difference of kind of his show had people being duped, and it showed how dumb conservatives are.

00:32:14.000 Like, this guy wants to show you how to get kids in a classroom, in a kindergarten classroom, to use a machine gun or something.

00:32:21.000 And you go, what a dumbass.

00:32:22.000 He wants four-year-olds to have machine guns.

00:32:24.000 No, you left out the part where you told, you were an Israeli and you were talking to some southern Politician about gun use in Israel.

00:32:33.000 Now, Israel's under siege.

00:32:35.000 There are rockets coming over that wall on a daily basis.

00:32:39.000 So he doesn't know the context.

00:32:41.000 Maybe it's, I went to one town that was right bordering Gaza, and it was a fucking absolute war zone. 0.99

00:32:48.000 The kids' schools were, what the hell was the name of this town?

00:32:52.000 Shadat, Shtarat, or something like that.

00:32:55.000 And the kids' school, the kindergarten, looked like a bunker.

00:32:59.000 It was a bunker.

00:33:00.000 And the bus stops had cement this thick, so they doubled as bomb shelters.

00:33:05.000 To throw away a bubblegum wrapper in a trash was like, plop, bruh, because they were putting bombs in garbages.

00:33:13.000 So the garbages have cement all around them and these big iron tops.

00:33:17.000 So I don't know.

00:33:19.000 Maybe those kids, if there's bullets coming in the window, maybe they should have guns.

00:33:23.000 But Sasha twisted it and he made that into dumb right-wing conservatives want little kids to have guns. 0.97

00:33:30.000 And then other times he was, oh, then he got McCain or someone to sign a jug that was used in waterboarding.

00:33:40.000 And you're watching it going, yeah, this guy's a vet who asked him to sign it.

00:33:45.000 He might be suffering from mental illness.

00:33:46.000 Oh, it's Dick Cheney.

00:33:47.000 Dick Cheney.

00:33:48.000 He might be suffering from PTSD.

00:33:51.000 This is a very weird thing to do, but I'm going to be benevolent to a soldier, and I'm going to.

00:33:57.000 Which was your favorite war and why?

00:33:59.000 Oh, I think it was what we did in Desert Storm.

00:34:02.000 I really do.

00:34:03.000 I never thought of it as having a favorite war.

00:34:06.000 Of course, but you've got to enjoy it too.

00:34:08.000 Sure.

00:34:08.000 I loved being Secretary of Defense, especially in wartime.

00:34:14.000 They're the elites.

00:34:16.000 You can just spot them a mile away now, can't you?

00:34:19.000 They're pretentious.

00:34:20.000 They don't do anything of note.

00:34:22.000 And they want to tell you how to live your life.

00:34:24.000 Anyway, I used to love Jim Carrey movies.

00:34:26.000 Well, I suppose Dumb and Dumb is still one of my favorites, but it is forever tainted now that I learned how much of a fag he has become. 1.00

00:34:34.000 This is from Brandon.

00:34:35.000 Ridiculous video of divorced family.

00:34:41.000 I lost my shit.

00:34:43.000 Oh, this is our guy.

00:34:45.000 Who is?

00:34:46.000 This is the guy, the gandrepreneur who was arrested for fraud, I believe.

00:34:54.000 And told us that you shouldn't laugh at crippled kids. 1.00

00:34:57.000 Thanks, Kevin.

00:34:58.000 Did you have fun at your dad's?

00:35:00.000 Yeah.

00:35:01.000 We had so much fun.

00:35:02.000 Darman.

00:35:03.000 Fishing.

00:35:04.000 Kev, I gotta go.

00:35:07.000 No, Dad, I don't want you to go.

00:35:09.000 Sorry, buddy, but you know I can't stay.

00:35:12.000 I'll see you next week.

00:35:13.000 James, since it's Mother's Day, we're thinking about going to Disneyland.

00:35:19.000 Would you want to go with us?

00:35:22.000 Yeah, Dad, please.

00:35:23.000 Can you go with us?

00:35:24.000 Wait a minute.

00:35:25.000 pause.

00:35:25.000 Sorry, buddy, but...

00:35:29.000 In the day there?

00:35:30.000 Yeah, is it 2 o'clock?

00:35:31.000 When are you thinking of breezing by Disneyland?

00:35:33.000 Do you live in Disneyland?

00:35:36.000 Is it downstairs?

00:35:38.000 Is that a Mother's Day thing to do? 0.97

00:35:40.000 Yeah, it's Mother's Day.

00:35:41.000 We're going to go downstairs to Disneyland from 4 to 7 p.m., even though we have to buy a day pass.

00:35:48.000 That's a 50-year-old Mother's Day thing. 0.60

00:35:50.000 This guy's brain-dead, this dar man. 1.00

00:35:53.000 Like, he creates these bizarre worlds that couldn't possibly exist, like the crippled adopted kid. 1.00

00:36:00.000 This is more sci-fi than the Twilight Zone.

00:36:03.000 It really is.

00:36:04.000 I can't.

00:36:07.000 Okay.

00:36:09.000 We're not married anymore.

00:36:10.000 Why would I want to spend Mother's Day with you?

00:36:12.000 I know we're not married anymore.

00:36:15.000 It's not about us.

00:36:17.000 It's about our son.

00:36:18.000 You're my ex-wife. 1.00

00:36:20.000 I pay my child support.

00:36:21.000 That's all you're going to get out of me, alright?

00:36:24.000 I am definitely not spending Mother's Day with you.

00:36:27.000 Oh, calm down.

00:36:28.000 I'm just talking about being civil.

00:36:31.000 For Kevin's sake.

00:36:33.000 Whatever.

00:36:33.000 For Kevin's sake.

00:36:38.000 See you later, Kevin.

00:36:41.000 Bye, Dad.

00:36:43.000 You know what, Mom?

00:36:45.000 I don't want to go anymore.

00:36:48.000 Oh, okay.

00:36:49.000 Explain it, Dharman.

00:36:51.000 Oh, it's still going.

00:36:53.000 Who is this guy?

00:36:55.000 Oh, that's the adopting dad.

00:36:57.000 Yeah.

00:36:58.000 So this guy made some money being a gonjrepreneur, and now he pays actors to act out his terrible fucking little sketches.

00:37:06.000 Hey, I just dropped Kevin off at his mom's house, so I'm free.

00:37:08.000 Let's go down and catch a game somewhere.

00:37:10.000 I came, bro.

00:37:11.000 I'm cooking for Claire.

00:37:13.000 Claire?

00:37:14.000 Your ex-wife, Claire? 0.97

00:37:16.000 I thought it would be nice to spend some time.

00:37:18.000 I thought it would be nice and my son for Mother's Day.

00:37:22.000 Did you guys forget that you had a divorce or something, man?

00:37:25.000 Why would you do anything for her?

00:37:28.000 I know that we're divorced.

00:37:29.000 Because I know that we're divorced, but you see.

00:37:31.000 Hey, Eddie.

00:37:32.000 Good here.

00:37:34.000 Hey, Jesse.

00:37:35.000 Dad, I missed you.

00:37:37.000 Hey, little man.

00:37:38.000 Hey, little man.

00:37:39.000 What kind of world?

00:37:41.000 He's the worst actor I've ever seen.

00:37:45.000 But he is fighting the stereotype that blacks overact.

00:37:49.000 He's underacting.

00:37:50.000 Hey, little man.

00:37:51.000 How are you?

00:37:53.000 Hey, Claire.

00:37:54.000 Welcome to my kitchen.

00:37:56.000 I know we're divorced, but I want to be civil.

00:37:58.000 So I'm going to make you some chitlins and grits.

00:38:02.000 Black Eyed Peas and Collard Greens.

00:38:05.000 All kinds of shit that white people don't... 0.52

00:38:10.000 Sugar bacon?

00:38:11.000 White people don't use enough spice, right, little man? 1.00

00:38:14.000 I don't know what you're talking about, Dad.

00:38:16.000 Salt corn.

00:38:18.000 Pompla mousse.

00:38:19.000 Pig lip.

00:38:21.000 Chicken scratch.

00:38:25.000 Pork knuckles.

00:38:27.000 Rooster sounds.

00:38:29.000 I'm going to eat rooster sounds.

00:38:30.000 Chitlins.

00:38:33.000 Saragratta greens.

00:38:35.000 Groblets. 1.00

00:38:36.000 One time I was at the airport at JFK and it was Thanksgiving and there was this black customs guy and we're all walking by him with our bags and goes, Thanksgiving.

00:38:45.000 This is it.

00:38:46.000 Big weekend.

00:38:49.000 Colored greens.

00:38:51.000 Black Ibe. 0.99

00:38:54.000 Cranberry salt! 0.99

00:38:55.000 He was just for like an hour as people walked by.

00:39:00.000 Course turkey.

00:39:05.000 This guy is very soothing.

00:39:07.000 He's like a weird little turtle man.

00:39:08.000 Happy Mother's Day.

00:39:09.000 Happy Mother's Day.

00:39:11.000 That's so sweet.

00:39:13.000 This is gay. 0.62

00:39:16.000 Thank you.

00:39:18.000 Oh, you made it.

00:39:22.000 Oh, Disneyland tickets.

00:39:24.000 ORG.

00:39:24.000 Where's the Disneyland thing?

00:39:27.000 Well, it's the juxtaposition, right?

00:39:30.000 Have you noticed, by the way, like in the previous one, the adopting couple was black and they were the wonderful, good people.

00:39:36.000 And the white guy was the stupid asshole.

00:39:38.000 He's like, you don't want that kid.

00:39:39.000 He's crippled.

00:39:40.000 Crippled kids are fags. 1.00

00:39:42.000 He's garbage.

00:39:43.000 And then in this one, the guy's like, I'm not going to Disneyland.

00:39:46.000 You're a cunt. 1.00

00:39:47.000 And I'm going to go hang out with my black friend.

00:39:49.000 I'm sorry, man.

00:39:50.000 I'm too busy doing the right thing, helping people.

00:39:54.000 Look at his ears.

00:39:56.000 Yeah.

00:39:56.000 Not the size, but like there's no movement in there.

00:39:59.000 There's no like.

00:40:01.000 Do you see what I'm seeing?

00:40:02.000 They're like built like elephants.

00:40:04.000 Can you see what I see?

00:40:06.000 Wait, wait, his ears?

00:40:09.000 There's like, there's like no contour in there.

00:40:13.000 Your ears aren't finished, dude.

00:40:16.000 Unfinished ears.

00:40:17.000 If I was in an art class and I was a teacher, I'd go, okay, that's just finish up the ears and we're good to go.

00:40:23.000 That's a very good drawing.

00:40:24.000 It looks like that imbecile who was arrested for fraud and tries to tell people lessons that make no sense.

00:40:30.000 But yeah, finish the ears and we're good to go.

00:40:33.000 Yeah, hey, F on your project making ears guy.

00:40:36.000 Hey, what?

00:40:37.000 Hey, Darman, your ears aren't done.

00:40:39.000 Your chest is done.

00:40:40.000 Look at his woman's dance skin shirt, too. 0.90

00:40:44.000 God, he's a turd.

00:40:45.000 Anyway, go back.

00:40:46.000 I want to see the rest of this.

00:40:47.000 Same.

00:40:47.000 Oh, we're going to go to Disneyland.

00:40:49.000 Again, I hope they're going to Disneyland like the next day because it's dinner time.

00:40:54.000 When are you going to Disneyland?

00:40:55.000 You need a fast pass.

00:40:58.000 Play.

00:41:01.000 Sweetie, look what your dad got us.

00:41:03.000 Yes.

00:41:04.000 Thank you so much.

00:41:07.000 Wow.

00:41:08.000 Are you coming with us?

00:41:09.000 Of course, son.

00:41:10.000 Of course, son.

00:41:11.000 I know that it's yours and your mom's favorite place.

00:41:13.000 I wouldn't miss it for the world.

00:41:14.000 Did they pay him an opium?

00:41:16.000 He's mummified.

00:41:18.000 This is like something out of Egypt. 0.95

00:41:20.000 They just took him out of a tomb and said, watch this.

00:41:22.000 If we put car battery up his ass, it makes it look like he's alive.

00:41:27.000 Of course, son.

00:41:28.000 I wouldn't miss it for the world.

00:41:30.000 I wouldn't only been dead for 3,000 years.

00:41:32.000 I'm a sarcophagi.

00:41:37.000 Really, Eddie.

00:41:39.000 I'm considering remarrying you.

00:41:42.000 Gay. 0.98

00:41:44.000 Oh.

00:41:45.000 We might even make love.

00:41:46.000 I gotta go grab Luke's bag out of the car.

00:41:48.000 Come on, Luke.

00:41:50.000 Come on, Luke.

00:41:50.000 Come with me to grab your bag.

00:41:52.000 What is it?

00:41:52.000 400 pounds?

00:41:53.000 Oh, man, look at you.

00:41:55.000 What's the matter with you, man?

00:41:56.000 She is your ex-wife. 1.00

00:41:58.000 Why are you doing anything for her at all?

00:42:01.000 I don't do all these things for her.

00:42:04.000 I do it for my boy.

00:42:05.000 I do it for my son.

00:42:06.000 Your son?

00:42:07.000 Your son's talking stupid.

00:42:09.000 I'm talking about my son growing up knowing how to treat women.

00:42:15.000 You see, the reason I spend time with my ex-wife is because regardless of our differences, she is still my son's mother.

00:42:24.000 And the way I treat her will impact the way he treats her.

00:42:27.000 She's been dead for a hundred years.

00:42:29.000 I tried to scare him with my smile.

00:42:31.000 It did not work.

00:42:34.000 Shortly after I died, I realized that I can still be a father to my son if I'm propped up accordingly and I face him.

00:42:43.000 If I am weakened at Bernie's over to his house, people use sticks to make me smile and they lean me up against a chair.

00:42:52.000 My son loves it.

00:42:54.000 And there's no smell at all because I'm embalmed.

00:42:58.000 The makers of Gorilla Glue are kind enough to whip up a special settler's formula. 1.00

00:43:05.000 And if I want him to be a good man, this guy could afford to circumcise his message a little bit here.

00:43:15.000 A little bit.

00:43:15.000 Like, I get it.

00:43:16.000 Don't be mean to your ex-wife.

00:43:17.000 By the way, this is totally off topic.

00:43:19.000 This is a seven-minute video.

00:43:21.000 But I got to ask.

00:43:26.000 The thing I don't get about guys who are friends with their ex-wife is, so you drop off your son.

00:43:31.000 He goes upstairs.

00:43:32.000 It's nine.

00:43:33.000 I met this guy who said he dropped his son and he had a bottle of wine with his wife, his ex-wife.

00:43:37.000 Now, you know each other's bodies perfectly in and out.

00:43:40.000 You've had a bottle of wine.

00:43:42.000 How can you not fuck her? 1.00

00:43:45.000 Yeah.

00:43:46.000 Like if when I was single, I'd meet an ex-girlfriend.

00:43:48.000 I was always trying to get in there.

00:43:52.000 Now, if we're in the same home and we just had a bottle of wine.

00:43:56.000 Yeah.

00:43:58.000 I've got the brains.

00:44:00.000 You've got the looks.

00:44:02.000 Let's make lots of money.

00:44:04.000 All right.

00:44:05.000 Let's go back to this and just jump to the end and hear his message.

00:44:09.000 How many views did these get?

00:44:11.000 Looks like it goes on.

00:44:16.000 A black man taught me how to be a good person.

00:44:18.000 And mom and the kid are just hanging out.

00:44:21.000 Kind of weird.

00:44:23.000 What'd you do on Thursday?

00:44:24.000 I sat on the couch with my mom.

00:44:25.000 She stroked my hair and we just talked.

00:44:28.000 Come on, honey. 1.00

00:44:29.000 I'm sure you don't.

00:44:30.000 Oh, it's still the Disneyland thing.

00:44:31.000 No.

00:44:32.000 How much time has gone by?

00:44:34.000 Must be like seven o'clock now.

00:44:35.000 They're still talking about Disneyland.

00:44:38.000 Mom, it closes in two hours.

00:44:41.000 We could get in for last call.

00:44:42.000 We could get on one ride.

00:44:44.000 Yeah, because wasn't the guy making dinner?

00:44:47.000 Yeah.

00:44:47.000 Black guy making dinner?

00:44:48.000 Yeah, he was making dinner.

00:44:50.000 You guys going to go see the fireworks there?

00:44:51.000 Mother's Day.

00:44:52.000 I mean, I think it is open till like midnight or 1 a.m.

00:44:56.000 So I guess they're more like night crawlers.

00:44:58.000 Maybe it's Florida in the summer and the heat is just unbearable in the day.

00:45:03.000 And I want to spend time with you.

00:45:04.000 What's behind?

00:45:05.000 Why is your arm back there?

00:45:06.000 Whatever could be in this door was open so I just kind of figured out a way.

00:45:12.000 James, what are you doing back here?

00:45:14.000 Hey, Alice, I'm just doing what the black guy told me to do. 0.93

00:45:20.000 A dead black guy.

00:45:23.000 I was talking to a dead black guy.

00:45:25.000 Who, OJ?

00:45:27.000 He's alive, you stupid bitch. 1.00

00:45:28.000 You're beautiful.

00:45:30.000 Thanks.

00:45:30.000 You don't have to put your hands behind your back anymore.

00:45:32.000 You don't have to be a parade rest.

00:45:35.000 You are such an amazing mom.

00:45:36.000 On your feet, soldier.

00:45:38.000 Underfeet, 13-year-old haircut.

00:45:40.000 You're such an amazing mom.

00:45:41.000 You deserve flowers.

00:45:43.000 It's a double fist.

00:45:44.000 It's a bag.

00:45:45.000 I got you a bag that you can put a present in sometime.

00:45:48.000 Is it Disneyland tickets in a large bag?

00:45:52.000 Yes, it is.

00:45:52.000 And he stole it from...

00:45:57.000 I'm coming with you guys.

00:45:58.000 Wait, where'd you get those ears?

00:45:59.000 They're only for sale at Disneyland.

00:46:01.000 What the hell?

00:46:02.000 Did you go to Disneyland, buy three hats, and then come back?

00:46:05.000 You got tickets while you're there, right?

00:46:06.000 Disneyland like Popeyes?

00:46:08.000 Is it just everywhere?

00:46:09.000 There's a drive-thru for the merch.

00:46:11.000 It's a CVS of amusement parks.

00:46:13.000 These are aftermarket Chinese knockoffs.

00:46:15.000 And I thought you said that.

00:46:16.000 Listen, I am so sorry.

00:46:18.000 I'm a complete imbecile who can flip on a dime.

00:46:21.000 I should have never treated you that bipolar.

00:46:24.000 You are still the mother of our son.

00:46:26.000 Yes.

00:46:27.000 And I realize the way I treat you is so important for what kind of man Kevin.

00:46:34.000 Even if you don't put out.

00:46:35.000 Can you forgive me?

00:46:37.000 Listen, pointless pockets.

00:46:40.000 Look at the pockets on these shirts.

00:46:42.000 Wait, is Dharman going to come in at the end and tell us what we just heard 90 times?

00:46:46.000 Space Mountain.

00:46:48.000 I love Space Mountain, but only myself.

00:46:49.000 I love Space Mountain.

00:46:50.000 Hey, Darman Fam.

00:46:51.000 I hope you love that message about Darman Fam.

00:46:56.000 Why you should always set a good example for your child.

00:47:00.000 I appreciate you watching.

00:47:01.000 And remember, we're not just telling stories, we're changing lives.

00:47:05.000 And when you share my videos, you're helping to change lives.

00:47:13.000 I appreciate you, and I'll see you in the next video.

00:47:17.000 Bye, Dharman.

00:47:18.000 How many people have watched that?

00:47:19.000 I don't know.

00:47:20.000 Doesn't it show up?

00:47:22.000 Let me see.

00:47:23.000 Oh, wow.

00:47:25.000 Watching right now, 3,000.

00:47:29.000 What?

00:47:30.000 Look, it says that.

00:47:31.000 That makes me worried about humanity.

00:47:33.000 I don't know if I should believe that, but it says people watching.

00:47:36.000 Well, he is a con man.

00:47:38.000 Let me refresh and see if it says something good.

00:47:41.000 Wow.

00:47:43.000 People watching right now.

00:47:44.000 And by the way, yeah, you should be civil with your ex-wife. 0.97

00:47:47.000 Did you hang out with her?

00:47:48.000 What if she cheated on him? 0.88

00:47:50.000 Like, what if you found out your wife was having an affair for five years?

00:47:55.000 We're not going to Disneyland, bitch. 1.00

00:47:56.000 Fuck you.

00:47:59.000 I would not fuck them with my heels on.

00:48:04.000 You know what?

00:48:05.000 I don't like you.

00:48:06.000 I would never fuck you with my heels on, and I have no interest in riding on your ding-dong. 1.00

00:48:11.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah. 1.00

00:48:13.000 No.

00:48:14.000 Let me ride on your ding-dong. 0.98

00:48:15.000 You may not ride on my ding-dong.

00:48:19.000 You'll be waiting a long time, Mr. Speaker.

00:48:22.000 No, I don't want to fuck you to any songs.

00:48:24.000 Okay.

00:48:24.000 Oioi, Gav.

00:48:26.000 Greetings from Birmingham.

00:48:28.000 New subscriber, loving it so far, babes.

00:48:30.000 Birmingham.

00:48:31.000 She was a girl from Birmingham.

00:48:34.000 Birmingham, of course, is gone.

00:48:36.000 It is now Islamingham.

00:48:40.000 And it used to be a beautiful British town.

00:48:43.000 Isn't I think Ozzy's from Birmingham?

00:48:47.000 Anyway.

00:48:48.000 Oh, Rose.

00:48:50.000 And you know what I realized the other day?

00:48:52.000 I was listening to Warpigs. 0.96

00:48:54.000 He's a good singer.

00:48:55.000 Yeah.

00:48:56.000 It's not monotone.

00:48:57.000 No.

00:48:57.000 Satan loving spreads his wings all over ya.

00:49:02.000 Students gathered in their classes.

00:49:06.000 Dude, vibrato.

00:49:07.000 He's got vibrato.

00:49:08.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 And you know who else is an underrated singer?

00:49:11.000 He's freely.

00:49:12.000 Joey Ramon.

00:49:13.000 Huh.

00:49:17.000 I don't want to be buried in a pet cemetery.

00:49:21.000 Brain is hanging upside down.

00:49:23.000 The brain is hanging upside down.

00:49:30.000 Oh, I got to hear that song now.

00:49:31.000 It's awesome.

00:49:36.000 Again.

00:49:39.000 This is a rocker.

00:49:41.000 They were a rock band.

00:49:42.000 They were not a punk band.

00:49:43.000 They were a fast rockabilly band.

00:49:48.000 You've got to pick up the pieces.

00:49:50.000 You've got to pick up the pieces.

00:49:55.000 Go on, stop, man, you better.

00:49:59.000 Boys are gonna love me.

00:50:00.000 This was when Howard Stern was at its peak.

00:50:02.000 And then he went, left the remones, he started doing radio.

00:50:05.000 He became a mom.

00:50:08.000 I go to university in Bradford second year, and I'm really regretting it, mate.

00:50:12.000 Anyways, the uni I go to has an LGBTQ plus group.

00:50:17.000 Today, they sat up a table with some posts of these fucking lesbians who were the first gay people to get married in Northern Ireland. 1.00

00:50:24.000 Whoopty fucking do.

00:50:26.000 These links below.

00:50:28.000 Problem is that being in Bradford, the uni I go to has just a few Muslim students and they are pissed. 1.00

00:50:35.000 You know, Islam and the radical left, we should just put them in a room and close the door. 1.00

00:50:41.000 And be like, this is a hate Trump fest.

00:50:44.000 The cats eat the rats and the rats eat the cats and we sell the skins for free.

00:50:48.000 Let the rat eats the cat and the cats eats the rat.

00:50:50.000 That's a who's kiddoo song.

00:50:51.000 Same-sex marriage.

00:50:52.000 Couple make history first in NL.

00:50:55.000 Great.

00:50:55.000 That's shit on Catholicism where it was born.

00:50:58.000 Wow, good point.

00:51:00.000 Problem is that being in Bradford, universities, a few Muslims there are pissed, a few of them started to attack this LGBT group today and was ripping up their posters, screaming at them, etc.

00:51:08.000 The gay group has caused problems at events that students, non-Muslim students, have tried to have.

00:51:13.000 They never caused problems for the events Muslim students have organized.

00:51:16.000 They wouldn't dare.

00:51:17.000 Muslim students put up posters all the time at my uni, never an issue.

00:51:21.000 I'm not a fan of this LGBT group. 1.00

00:51:23.000 I'm not a fan of these Muslims, but I'm a fan of freedom of speech.

00:51:26.000 I try to stick to my principles regarding freedom of speech, even for my enemies, as I think it's important in making a case for freedom of speech when it comes up.

00:51:34.000 My question is, do I make a point of sticking up and protecting the rights of this LGBT group to have these posters at the uni in the future?

00:51:43.000 Even though I couldn't care less?

00:51:45.000 Or should I sit back with some popcorn and watch these gay lefties realize how uncivil Islam really is? 1.00

00:51:50.000 I would like to try and stick to my principles, but the cunt in me wants to see these gay lefties get to taste their own medicine by the very group they jump to protect. 1.00

00:51:58.000 I do know that in the past, two of these gays, lesbians of course, have gone to anti-Tommy protests when he was running for MEP position.

00:52:07.000 Tommy had a crowd of about 500 people.

00:52:09.000 The anti-Tommies had about 30 tops.

00:52:11.000 And I remember seeing one of them post on Facebook how this was proof that Britain and slash Brexit is racist.

00:52:19.000 Should I try my bit proving a point of free speech or should I let them learn the hard way?

00:52:23.000 What do you reckon?

00:52:24.000 P.S. I can't make up my mind whether a fringe with a bob haircut is a good look or outdated.

00:52:28.000 My boyfriend thinks so.

00:52:30.000 Oh, I thought it was a dude the whole time.

00:52:34.000 But I've always wanted to go for the Chrissy Hine look.

00:52:36.000 What do you think?

00:52:37.000 Yay or nay?

00:52:39.000 Well, boy, they really throw a wrench in the works at the 11th hour there, right?

00:52:43.000 Chrissy Hine.

00:52:46.000 I remember she had good bangs.

00:52:49.000 Well, now she's super old. 0.99

00:52:52.000 Let's go young.

00:52:52.000 You know, Chrissy Hind taught Sid Vicious how to play the bass?

00:52:56.000 I yelled that at her once. 0.94

00:52:58.000 I saw her at a hope.

00:52:59.000 She was staying at my hotel in LA.

00:53:01.000 And as she was heading the car, I go, thanks for teaching Sid to play the bass.

00:53:05.000 I like your new sunglasses.

00:53:08.000 No, look up young Chrissy Hind, you tard. 1.00

00:53:10.000 Young.

00:53:11.000 We don't want to see her frazzled gray pubes. 1.00

00:53:14.000 Speak for yourself.

00:53:17.000 So to answer your question, ma'am, I think a Chrissy Hind hairdo is a great look.

00:53:21.000 I love bangs.

00:53:23.000 I wish it was a tiny bit longer, but yeah, she is so fucking hot. 1.00

00:53:29.000 What a looker.

00:53:33.000 I'm back on the chain, gang.

00:53:40.000 Back on the chain, gang.

00:53:45.000 So to answer your question, you know the motto of this show, get fired, get in trouble.

00:53:51.000 So I would recommend you find a happy medium between defending LGBT and stirring up the pot. 0.95

00:53:59.000 Tell the Muslims that there's an LGBT group. 1.00

00:54:03.000 Get them angry about it.

00:54:05.000 Tell the gays that the Muslims are doing something. 1.00

00:54:09.000 Sort of like we talk about when there's someone on a plane acting hysterical.

00:54:13.000 You want to egg them on.

00:54:16.000 So they won't even let you stand up and get a drink.

00:54:19.000 Man, they disrespecting you.

00:54:22.000 Get them madder and madder and madder until they start to go crazy.

00:54:28.000 That's what I think you should do.

00:54:29.000 Just do a little trolling.

00:54:31.000 But yeah, troll.

00:54:32.000 Troll it up.

00:54:33.000 I heard something about the memes for a max thing, by the way.

00:54:36.000 What?

00:54:39.000 I believe you could only send four images.

00:54:44.000 That's what I heard.

00:54:44.000 That's what they said on.

00:54:46.000 That's what Milo and Chadwick said.

00:54:47.000 They said they looked into it.

00:54:48.000 Four images per letter, per entry.

00:54:52.000 So if you want it to get to them, you can like if you, that Dolly Parton meme, you know, where it's like Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter.

00:55:01.000 It's like four different things.

00:55:02.000 Why aren't you showing yourself while you blather?

00:55:04.000 I'm looking for this meme just to show you an example.

00:55:09.000 That Dolly Parton meme like this, yeah.

00:55:11.000 So that, I think that is technically too many images.

00:55:15.000 Oh, I see.

00:55:16.000 But that would count as four?

00:55:17.000 Yeah.

00:55:18.000 See that.

00:55:20.000 Is that eight?

00:55:21.000 Yeah, this is two put together.

00:55:22.000 You know, the one that I'm going to go.

00:55:23.000 I understand.

00:55:24.000 So what is the COC?

00:55:26.000 That's four images.

00:55:28.000 I never heard that before.

00:55:29.000 That's what I heard.

00:55:30.000 What about that guy who sent the meme coffee table book?

00:55:33.000 That's a book of images.

00:55:34.000 It's a book.

00:55:36.000 But if you want to send a letter and send a meme and a page or whatever.

00:55:39.000 All right, so we'll look into that further.

00:55:40.000 But for now, folks, don't send more than four memes.

00:55:43.000 Four images.

00:55:44.000 Four images.

00:55:44.000 Yeah.

00:55:46.000 To our boys in blue.

00:55:50.000 Not in blue.

00:55:52.000 Sorry, our boys in prison.

00:55:54.000 Our boys in blue.

00:55:55.000 Our boys in blue put our boys in prison in prison.

00:56:01.000 Come on, wake him up.

00:56:03.000 Okay, let's do a couple more.

00:56:06.000 Gavin and Ryan, not sure if my meme postcard will make it past the prison censors.

00:56:11.000 Sent a couple screenshots more about me trolling being racially fluid.

00:56:14.000 Best way to fight insanity is trolling with greater insanity.

00:56:17.000 That's what we were just telling Emma.

00:56:19.000 Get in there.

00:56:19.000 Have fun.

00:56:20.000 And if you get kicked out of college, good.

00:56:22.000 That college sucked.

00:56:25.000 No one looks at your resume.

00:56:26.000 No one looks at resumes anymore.

00:56:29.000 They have you intern and see if you're fun to work with.

00:56:33.000 And then you start getting opportunities to do more and more and more.

00:56:35.000 And then you work there.

00:56:37.000 Magic.

00:56:38.000 That applies to media stations, jewelers.

00:56:43.000 And then, of course, what you should be doing if you're a man is getting a trade.

00:56:47.000 That's just an apprenticeship away.

00:56:51.000 I know a guy who installs HVAC systems, like designs them, doesn't actually literally put them in.

00:56:58.000 He just designs them and then maintains them, makes sure they work.

00:57:00.000 He's got his steam fitters license.

00:57:02.000 He's got his plumber's license.

00:57:03.000 He's got his electricity license for high voltage, low voltage.

00:57:06.000 The guy is, you could push him out of an airplane and he'd land somewhere and have a job in an hour.

00:57:12.000 I mean, look at him.

00:57:13.000 He's pimping.

00:57:15.000 I also know a plastic surgeon who's fucking broke.

00:57:18.000 Because if you're not in Beverly Hills, people don't really get plastic surgery that's.

00:57:22.000 Ain't nobody got time for this.

00:57:24.000 Are you showing this guy's letter?

00:57:26.000 Love and respect from Arizona.

00:57:27.000 Thank you for your service in the war against freedom and masculinity.

00:57:30.000 I use trolling, tolling?

00:57:32.000 I think he means trolling.

00:57:33.000 As my weapon in the war.

00:57:35.000 I'm a cisgendered heterosexual male inflicted and suffering from toxic masculinity.

00:57:39.000 However, my racial identity is fluid.

00:57:42.000 That makes me trans, racial, racial fluid.

00:57:44.000 I know it might sound like something you get at an auto parts store, but I assure you, it's my legit identity.

00:57:49.000 Although I was born a peckerwood, white trash, when I get profiled and harassed for being a motorcycle enthusiast, I identify as a black man in America.

00:57:56.000 But until I get murdered in cold blood, when I completely comply with all the officers the way Philando Castile was, I will not complete the transition.

00:58:04.000 If this happens, I have a brother from work that said he will apply blackface to my corpse to complete the transition.

00:58:10.000 So I got that going for me, which is nice.

00:58:12.000 Humor is the best medicine.

00:58:13.000 I hope it's helping.

00:58:14.000 You gentlemen are on the right side of history and are living legends.

00:58:17.000 Thank you for standing up, Mad Mike.

00:58:20.000 We're living legends, Ryan.

00:58:22.000 Dang.

00:58:24.000 That's pretty badass.

00:58:26.000 And who'd he send it to?

00:58:27.000 John Kinsman.

00:58:28.000 Good.

00:58:29.000 I hope these guys are getting these letters.

00:58:30.000 Yeah, I was showing all the images.

00:58:33.000 I'm not sure Fight the Police State is going to make it, though.

00:58:37.000 Do they ban it?

00:58:38.000 I should find out more what they ban.

00:58:43.000 Contra-banned, controversial banned material.

00:58:49.000 Here's another one.

00:58:50.000 I think a good segment for the show would be to have Ryan approach the black Hebrew Israelites with two smoke show once-a-year black playmate hot sisters. 0.99

00:58:58.000 Then tell the black Hebrew Israelites, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. 1.00

00:59:01.000 Then proceed to switch back and forth, making out with both of them.

00:59:04.000 Kind of what you did with Milo in Florida without being gay. 0.89

00:59:07.000 Not sure how much longer I'll be on paid leave from work.

00:59:09.000 If you want to fly me out to do it, I might be better for the role, being a white guy that's covered in tattoos.

00:59:14.000 I like you more than a friend.

00:59:15.000 Mountains of debt, but I paid for a year membership to Free Speech TV.

00:59:19.000 So there's a picture of him.

00:59:21.000 Let's zoom in on that chick on his locker. 1.00

00:59:27.000 You want to try that?

00:59:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:30.000 There we go.

00:59:32.000 Can you do more?

00:59:36.000 Oh, she's pretty hot. 1.00

00:59:38.000 That's not a magazine photo.

00:59:39.000 That's like a personal he's dating.

00:59:43.000 That's a PP.

00:59:44.000 What do you think?

00:59:44.000 It's hard to see if she's...

00:59:47.000 Latina? 0.70

00:59:48.000 Latina.

00:59:48.000 Or Italian?

00:59:50.000 Italian Latina?

00:59:52.000 Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of it.

00:59:53.000 It's like being married to an Italian. 0.99

00:59:55.000 I bet it's great.

00:59:56.000 God is loud.

01:00:00.000 All right.

01:00:01.000 Running out of time here.

01:00:05.000 This is from Will.

01:00:06.000 Grown-ups playing with Legos.

01:00:08.000 Hey, I gather you watch the Super Bowl, and this is essentially an ancient Chinese secret, but can I remark on this ad spot for a new show where grown-ups do nothing but build Legos? 0.69

01:00:15.000 I watch this show with my kids.

01:00:17.000 I fucking love it.

01:00:17.000 My only beef with it is that Will Arnett...

01:00:22.000 Will Arnett?

01:00:24.000 That looks like something I would wear.

01:00:25.000 That seems like a lie.

01:00:27.000 That seems like a lie.

01:00:29.000 He's got an evil man voice.

01:00:31.000 I think the competitors get stoned to death with Lego.

01:00:33.000 I don't know how it works.

01:00:34.000 I haven't read the rule book yet.

01:00:36.000 It's death by Lego.

01:00:40.000 Lego Masters is really about people who are really passionate about building Lego.

01:00:45.000 I don't know if I brought this up already.

01:00:47.000 Look at that guy.

01:00:48.000 He's wearing an overall dress shorts.

01:00:52.000 He lost, by the way, the first episode.

01:00:54.000 Oh, you've seen this?

01:00:56.000 Yeah.

01:00:56.000 It's great for the kids.

01:00:58.000 But this guy's right.

01:00:59.000 These people are absolute fucking losers.

01:01:02.000 I can't believe they play with Lego, especially the Puerto Rican father and son team. 1.00

01:01:07.000 I like to spend time with my dad and we make things.

01:01:10.000 You do Lego with your dad?

01:01:11.000 Ever heard of going to a bar and having a fucking beer?

01:01:14.000 But the truth is, if they're smart, I got an account set up in the Caymans and I can make it happen.

01:01:22.000 We played Blackjack with him once in Vegas.

01:01:25.000 Did you ever play Black, I mean Jack Black with him?

01:01:29.000 No, we had a really good time.

01:01:30.000 He's a fucking hilarious dude.

01:01:31.000 He's a Canuck.

01:01:33.000 He's Canadian.

01:01:34.000 We had the worst dealer in the universe.

01:01:35.000 He was like this the whole time.

01:01:37.000 And I said, I made Will do a spit take.

01:01:41.000 I said, dealer, I'm just curious, when did you first have people calling you Mr. Grump?

01:01:48.000 Or something like, how'd you get the nickname Mr. Grump?

01:01:51.000 Yeah.

01:01:51.000 And he would get really pissed off and we'd go, hit me, Mr. Grump.

01:01:56.000 And that didn't sound as funny when I recreated it, but it was really funny.

01:02:00.000 I could understand how that would be funny.

01:02:02.000 You know how we were doing Coke there?

01:02:04.000 No, I don't know.

01:02:05.000 At the blackjack table?

01:02:06.000 Oh, how?

01:02:09.000 We put it in a nasal thing.

01:02:13.000 Oh, like a Flonase deal.

01:02:15.000 A Flonase.

01:02:15.000 Not a Flon...

01:02:16.000 But you know that...

01:02:17.000 You don't really see them that much anymore.

01:02:18.000 But for people with stuffed noses, you have that...

01:02:21.000 There's like a little...

01:02:25.000 Whatever it is.

01:02:26.000 That little, I have a cold thing.

01:02:27.000 We put Coke in that.

01:02:29.000 So you're there at the table playing Blackjack doing Coke.

01:02:33.000 Playing Black Jack.

01:02:35.000 Jack Black.

01:02:36.000 Oh my God.

01:02:36.000 Jack Black.

01:02:37.000 Thank you for coming on the show.

01:02:38.000 Chilloo.

01:02:39.000 It's a good bass.

01:02:41.000 You know, we've had a lot of celebrity guests recently, and I am shocked at how bad all their teeth are.

01:02:47.000 Yep.

01:02:48.000 I think Hollywood needs to get a dental plan. 0.99

01:02:51.000 Whoa.

01:02:52.000 What happened there?

01:02:53.000 You got mad?

01:02:54.000 Chilloo.

01:02:55.000 Chillo.

01:02:56.000 Are you there?

01:02:58.000 Yeah.

01:02:58.000 Rock on, man.

01:03:02.000 Okay.

01:03:02.000 Rock and roll.

01:03:05.000 And don't forget it.

01:03:07.000 Are you cracking up?

01:03:08.000 Is this Carol Burnett now?

01:03:13.000 Weird cameos.

01:03:16.000 You know society has arrived at peak perpetual adolescence when grown-ups tune in to watch other grown-ups play with color blocks without a child in sight.

01:03:23.000 Yeah.

01:03:24.000 Oh, fucking.

01:03:25.000 Blocks of color, sir.

01:03:26.000 Jesus.

01:03:28.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:03:29.000 I just saw that.

01:03:30.000 This is the last one, I think.

01:03:32.000 Yeah, I gotta go.

01:03:33.000 Hey, Gavin, just saw the clip of the titsucker where you discussed said video where the news crews were attacked getting into someone else's business.

01:03:40.000 Here's a clip of my late...

01:03:43.000 I don't know.

01:03:44.000 Here's a clip of my late grandfather, Larry, and Uncle Cal and expose, and the expose the local news tried to run on them.

01:03:51.000 Oh, he's talking about that guy who fought the journalist after getting in trouble for sucking the tit. 0.78

01:03:56.000 Stop, stop.

01:03:57.000 So what he's discussing, in case you're not familiar with this, is there was some girl filmed a guy in front of his own news clothing store, and there's a woman who appears homeless, and he sucks on her tit.

01:04:08.000 Big deal.

01:04:09.000 It was consensual.

01:04:10.000 It's two old, ugly people making out.

01:04:12.000 Mind your own beeswax.

01:04:13.000 But a news crew decided to go there and investigate, so he attacked them, punched at them, and shoved them and stuff, as one would do.

01:04:20.000 They're trying to ruin his reputation for something that was none of his goddamn business, fucking Puritans. 1.00

01:04:26.000 Anyway, this reader is saying a similar thing happened to my grandfather.

01:04:30.000 Cal Dietz is the king of real estate in Nuego.

01:04:33.000 His brokerage with five offices and 45 salespersons is by far the largest.

01:04:38.000 But Dietz, a self-proclaimed millionaire, dominates more than just real estate.

01:04:43.000 During the past decade, Dietz has had a grip on the criminal justice system in Nuego County.

01:04:48.000 A TB13 investigation found that Dietz has spun an uncanny web of influence.

01:04:53.000 Judges, prosecutors, and police have been compromised through gifts, favors, and business deals.

01:04:58.000 The officials profit from Dietz's wealth, he benefits through their power and prestige of office.

01:05:04.000 The apparent loser is criminal justice in Nuego County.

01:05:07.000 Dietz scoffs at the law.

01:05:09.000 A TV13 news crew found that out the hard way in trying to interview Dietz outside a Nuego restaurant.

01:05:15.000 So that's his grandfather's Larry.

01:05:17.000 Hello.

01:05:20.000 Hello.

01:05:22.000 Who are you?

01:05:23.000 those are the good old days.

01:05:24.000 Why are you intimidating me?

01:05:28.000 Oh, ha, ha, That was a great punch.

01:05:34.000 Smiles right afterward.

01:05:36.000 Look.

01:05:37.000 Was that right on the chin?

01:05:39.000 Hey, wait, go back.

01:05:40.000 Let's see that frame by frame.

01:05:42.000 Oh, we can't see it.

01:05:44.000 I think that might have been a chin.

01:05:47.000 That's the ingredients for a knockout. 1.00

01:05:49.000 How badass would it be if you just knocked out the news guy?

01:05:53.000 Ah, damn it.

01:05:57.000 I think that's right on the chin.

01:05:59.000 Oh, that bald guy should get into boxing.

01:06:02.000 He's got an iron jaw.

01:06:03.000 Turned his face into like a monster jump scare face.

01:06:10.000 There's Uncle Cal.

01:06:13.000 Who's next?

01:06:14.000 You want some more?

01:06:15.000 We want to talk to Mr. D. Get your ass. 1.00

01:06:17.000 My name.

01:06:17.000 Go, Mr. Kill.

01:06:19.000 No, you can't.

01:06:20.000 Why is that?

01:06:20.000 Talk to Mr. D. Put your foot behind him and trip him.

01:06:23.000 Because why?

01:06:23.000 We'd like to ask you, did you buy off public officials, sir?

01:06:27.000 That bunch, motherfucker.

01:06:28.000 Let's have lunch.

01:06:31.000 How about a knuckle sandwich, fucko?

01:06:33.000 Larry.

01:06:33.000 One minute.

01:06:34.000 Larry.

01:06:35.000 I ain't gonna be intimidated.

01:06:39.000 See, what these news crews don't seem to get is you're trying to ruin a man's life.

01:06:44.000 Yeah, I'm not gonna participate.

01:06:46.000 Sorry.

01:06:46.000 So you're picking a fight.

01:06:48.000 And then you get punched?

01:06:51.000 No, you got bloody.

01:06:52.000 He's never been punched before.

01:06:53.000 Mr. Dietz, can you tell me about some of the Las Vegas trips that you've taken public officials on with you and paid their way?

01:07:03.000 These are just simple questions.

01:07:04.000 Why can't we just sit down and talk about it?

01:07:07.000 Four days later, the same TV-13 news crew was assaulted by a car driven by Cal Dietz.

01:07:14.000 What the hell are you doing?

01:07:23.000 They cut him right off guard.

01:07:25.000 Look at his fucking stupid face.

01:07:27.000 What the hell are you doing?

01:07:34.000 The Nuego County Prosecutor has not yet determined whether criminal charges will be filed against Dietz in the apparent auto assault.

01:07:42.000 There were several other attempts by Dietz to stop this special report.

01:07:45.000 Dietz threatened journalist Alan Higbee, who assisted TV13 with research.

01:07:50.000 One instance occurred when Higbee and his wife were walking down a Muskegon sidewalk.

01:07:55.000 Positioned his car so that it blocked the sidewalk and leaned out the window of his car and asked me if I was paid up.

01:08:05.000 I asked him what he meant and he said, are you paid up?

01:08:10.000 And I said, how do you mean?

01:08:13.000 And he looked at my wife and said, your life insurance.

01:08:17.000 And then looked back at me and he said, are you paid up?

01:08:22.000 And then he said, because you're going to need it, this is going to be the end for you.

01:08:27.000 This special 10-part series took several months to produce.

01:08:30.000 TV13's Mark Lager quit.

01:08:32.000 If you look in the book of names, that's Santa's book.

01:08:35.000 Naughty, nice.

01:08:38.000 Here you are, right under naughty.

01:08:40.000 Mr. Dietz, how do you respond to being on Santa's naughty list?

01:08:44.000 That's really what they're doing.

01:08:46.000 So, Tattletale Journalism has been around for a while, I guess.

01:08:48.000 I bet.

01:08:49.000 And don't pick a fight with someone if you're not ready to get your ass fucking beat. 0.80

01:08:53.000 Yeah.

01:08:54.000 Because the propensity for crime is much lower, statistically, than it ever has been.

01:09:02.000 Talib Starks.

01:09:03.000 GM, what up, GM?

01:09:05.000 Why am I just seeing your mouth and nothing else?

01:09:08.000 What do you mean?

01:09:10.000 Oh, because your tech guy, statistically, messes up a lot more than the propensity for crime.

01:09:18.000 But weren't you looking at the monitor when you did that?

01:09:21.000 I was looking at the preview, not the program.

01:09:23.000 That's a problem.

01:09:24.000 I got two screens.

01:09:26.000 Well, it looks like Ryan is closely following the motto that ends our show because he just got fired.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 18, 2020

S02E126 - MAILBAG CATCHUP 2 [2020-02-18 - S02E126 - MAILBAG CATCHUP 2]

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