Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E148 - CELEBRITIES SUCK [2020-04-08 - S02E148 - CELEBRITIES SUCK]

00:00:16.000 Okay, let's start the show.

00:00:18.000 Fuck.

00:00:27.000 Do it.

00:00:28.000 It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog.

00:00:31.000 Let surprise take a slog.

00:00:33.000 And if you get a knife from behind, I know you're nice and impressed.

00:00:36.000 Get off my lawn.

00:00:37.000 Do it.

00:00:38.000 Do it.

00:00:39.000 I won't say a word'til I've walked a mile in your shoes.

00:00:42.000 But once a mile from you, sign up to what the fuck I choose.

00:00:46.000 Wearing nice new shoes.

00:00:48.000 Do it.

00:00:49.000 Do it.

00:00:50.000 If you're going through hell.

00:00:55.000 If you're going through hell.

00:01:00.000 You going through hell?

00:01:01.000 If you're going through hell.

00:01:07.000 If you're going through hell.

00:01:10.000 Keep going.

00:01:12.000 Hold it.

00:01:13.000 Now, five times rise up six.

00:01:17.000 That's the streets, Mike Skinner, a guy I signed with Vice Records.

00:01:23.000 Very skeptical was Skinner about an American audience getting him.

00:01:29.000 But they did, especially the Canadian audience, really loved him because Canada gets along with Britain, gets Britain more than America does.

00:01:39.000 Remember when we signed Mike?

00:01:42.000 We took him to a Chinese restaurant, and he'd never been before.

00:01:46.000 And he thought it was too weird.

00:01:47.000 And it wasn't, this is in New York City, so it's not like it's fucking turtle soup or anything.

00:01:53.000 It's all Americanized Chinese food.

00:01:54.000 And he was like, oh, Mike, this is fucking no thanks.

00:01:58.000 You got anything normal?

00:01:59.000 You got burger chips.

00:02:02.000 Anything else the shrapnel my pocket can afford?

00:02:05.000 Yesterday was an exceptionally good show.

00:02:08.000 So this show is going to suck because we have to even it out.

00:02:12.000 It's sort of like the way the union works where you don't want to work too hard or the boss will expect that of you.

00:02:19.000 So I got wasted last night with my wife and I'm hungover and don't get your hopes up for this show.

00:02:28.000 In fact, if you're going to not watch a show ever this week, I would choose this one.

00:02:34.000 I would piece up.

00:02:35.000 You know how wasted I got?

00:02:37.000 My wife said, we were talking about murder and I was, I can't remember how it came up, but we were talking about kill your, we were talking about Lacey Peterson and Scott Peterson and how he put her, his wife in a Tupperware thing.

00:02:49.000 And if I was ever to kill you, I would lie you down then with chicken wire, I put big cinder blocks on you, then wrap you and the cinder blocks in chicken wire and then throw that overboard. 0.95

00:03:01.000 So as you decomposed, your head wouldn't float up because it would still be wrapped in the chicken wire and the rocks would weigh you down.

00:03:07.000 And she goes, yeah, that's a good idea.

00:03:09.000 But you couldn't kill me.

00:03:10.000 I go, I could just strangle you to death right now.

00:03:13.000 She goes, no, you could, and I'd overpower you.

00:03:16.000 How many times, like women think, I think they watch too much TV, too many action movies. 1.00

00:03:22.000 I can beat up basically everyone but Ronda Rousey. 1.00

00:03:26.000 Run through a motherfucker face. 1.00

00:03:28.000 So I go, how about this?

00:03:30.000 I'll strangle you, right?

00:03:31.000 You can do whatever you want.

00:03:32.000 And then just when it's very clear that I could continue, I won't, obviously.

00:03:36.000 I won't kill you.

00:03:37.000 So she goes, go ahead, try.

00:03:39.000 Now I have little nicks on me, little cuts from her fingernails, but I just overpowered her, held her down, and she's like, oh my God.

00:03:48.000 And I'm just like, and so you get the idea.

00:03:50.000 I'm just like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:03:51.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:03:55.000 And she was totally stunned.

00:03:57.000 What are you going to do?

00:03:59.000 Like, what the fuck did you think?

00:04:02.000 Imagine that just improves the overall just marriage altogether.

00:04:06.000 Well, I think it made her a little hony. 1.00

00:04:09.000 So some stuff may or may not have happened immediately following that.

00:04:13.000 Just too much of indecence.

00:04:16.000 I'm actually getting a boner just talking about it.

00:04:20.000 What else?

00:04:21.000 We saw God Bless Ozzy Osborne, a 2011 documentary last night.

00:04:26.000 Fucking rules.

00:04:28.000 They did kick Ozzie out of Black Sabbath. 0.98

00:04:31.000 I didn't know any of this.

00:04:31.000 He was fired.

00:04:32.000 But it was the same reason they kicked Vince Neal out of Motley Crew.

00:04:36.000 He was so wasted that they couldn't get any work done.

00:04:40.000 So in both cases, they essentially quit.

00:04:44.000 But he really reminds me of my dad.

00:04:46.000 Birmingham is very much like Glasgow.

00:04:47.000 It's a working town, poor town, an industrial town.

00:04:52.000 In an industrial town in Glasgow.

00:04:57.000 But it's got tons of Black Sabbath footage.

00:05:00.000 What a fucking band.

00:05:02.000 That was all 1970.

00:05:05.000 Their first song was 1970, in 71, 72.

00:05:08.000 And then all the Aussie shit was like the early 80s. 1.00

00:05:14.000 But, you know, people should talk more about the entrepreneurial ship and bravery it takes.

00:05:20.000 That song that we just heard from the streets, Fall Down Five Times, Get Up Six.

00:05:25.000 Entrepreneurs have this ability to take it on the chin.

00:05:29.000 They're like boxers.

00:05:30.000 They get knocked out.

00:05:31.000 I've always said for every successful business endeavor I have, 12 have failed.

00:05:36.000 And you just have to keep getting up.

00:05:39.000 And it must be even harder with music, where not only do you have to take it on the chin, not only do you have to play a bunch of shitty gigs that no one goes to, but it's this intense marriage where it's not just you and your spouse that have to get along.

00:05:55.000 It's you and five other people or four other people.

00:05:59.000 And you have to have this magical chemistry.

00:06:02.000 You have to get along great.

00:06:03.000 You have to work together creating these songs.

00:06:06.000 And on top of all of that, just like a business, it has to be a new concept, a cool idea.

00:06:12.000 And Black Sabbath just said, hey, you know how the movie theater downstairs, that was their practice base, was movie theater?

00:06:20.000 They play these horror movies, right?

00:06:23.000 What if we were to make music that's like spooky?

00:06:27.000 It's horror music.

00:06:29.000 Exactly the same as a horror movie, but it's just scary.

00:06:33.000 And then he's like, fucking dragons that dying.

00:06:40.000 Down.

00:06:43.000 New, new, new.

00:06:45.000 Finally, see, I forget the words.

00:06:45.000 I forget.

00:06:48.000 Oh, no, no, no, please, God help them.

00:06:54.000 Fucking went straight to number one.

00:06:57.000 And then he goes so low and fucking does it again. 0.98

00:07:02.000 Like, I want to hear more about the economics.

00:07:04.000 Same with the economics of KISS.

00:07:06.000 They were stun, fucked, broke.

00:07:09.000 And then they said, well, how are we broke?

00:07:11.000 We're the number one rock band in the country.

00:07:13.000 Yeah, you have shitty managers.

00:07:16.000 Oh, I don't know why I said that with a European accent.

00:07:19.000 And then they said, let's just market our fucking name and have Kiss dolls and KISS beer and KISS. 1.00

00:07:25.000 We'll have a KISS comic book that's made with KISS's blood, which they did. 0.81

00:07:30.000 They just put some of their blood in the ink mix.

00:07:33.000 Smashing success, totally fucking rich.

00:07:35.000 Worked out great.

00:07:36.000 Or Billy Idol.

00:07:38.000 He's got Generation X. What's that music?

00:07:41.000 Look it up by KISS.

00:07:43.000 A successful punk band.

00:07:45.000 Punk's kind of waning now.

00:07:47.000 And in the early 80s.

00:07:50.000 And everyone's into dance music, disco and shit.

00:07:53.000 Fuck.

00:07:54.000 I know.

00:07:55.000 I'll invent a new kind of music, punk dance.

00:07:58.000 And I'll fly to New York, even though I'm not that popular of a pop star.

00:08:02.000 Like I'm very big in sort of the London punk scene, but I'm virtually unheard of in New York City.

00:08:07.000 But I've got a little bit of clout and a little bit of money.

00:08:10.000 I'm going to go to fucking New York City and start my new kind of music called Dance Punk.

00:08:18.000 And in Ozzy's case, his endeavor was perpetuated by Randy Rhodes.

00:08:23.000 That was the missing link.

00:08:25.000 And in Billie Idol's case, it was that guy, Steve Stevens.

00:08:32.000 So he's got an electro beat.

00:08:33.000 He's using an 808, I guess.

00:08:35.000 And then he still screams like he's punk.

00:08:37.000 Fucking brilliant.

00:08:40.000 That's why I always say venerate the entrepreneur, you know?

00:08:43.000 Like Michelle Malkin.

00:08:44.000 Oh, she's that Asian chick who's really angry. 1.00

00:08:46.000 Yeah, she's also an incredible entrepreneur. 0.99

00:08:49.000 Started hot air, sold it for a fortune.

00:08:51.000 Like, she's, what else did she start?

00:08:54.000 Oh, that Twitter thing, Twitchy?

00:08:57.000 Not the thing that you watch people play video games on, but the thing that only does Twitter news about tweets.

00:09:05.000 She created that and sold it. 1.00

00:09:07.000 She's a fucking little go-getter. 1.00

00:09:13.000 That's what we need more of.

00:09:14.000 We need to venerate the entrepreneur.

00:09:15.000 We need to inspire more entrepreneurs.

00:09:17.000 And when we do documentaries and stuff, I want to hear the economics of it.

00:09:21.000 I want to hear how much they made, how much was spent, how much was lost, how it could have been prevented.

00:09:26.000 You know what we should do?

00:09:27.000 We should do a whole economics of Larry Barnes.

00:09:30.000 He's broke, and he was the welterweight champion of the world.

00:09:35.000 I think his manager ripped him off for $800,000 fucking dollars.

00:09:42.000 I'm going to drive to his house today and just give him some dough.

00:09:46.000 I mean, he's essentially an employee of the show, right?

00:09:50.000 You know what else I saw the other night?

00:09:52.000 Did I tell you this?

00:09:52.000 Training day?

00:09:54.000 No.

00:09:56.000 So fucking retarded. 1.00

00:09:59.000 Did I tell you about the Vin Diesel one, too?

00:10:02.000 No.

00:10:02.000 Okay, there's two movies that I saw recently that I don't recommend.

00:10:05.000 Bloodshot?

00:10:06.000 Yeah, Bloodshot, the new one where they replaced his skin cells, his blood cells, with nanotechnology.

00:10:15.000 So they say in the movie, like he's worth billions of dollars.

00:10:19.000 And you know what they do with this billion-dollar hitman?

00:10:21.000 They have him kill their enemies, like competitors in the same nanotech industry.

00:10:26.000 Why don't you just hire MS-13 for like 500 bucks? 1.00

00:10:30.000 Why'd you spend $5 billion on a super killer?

00:10:34.000 People get whacked for like 500 to 10,000 bucks, depending on the quality of the whacking you want done.

00:10:41.000 Or 3,000.

00:10:42.000 Or you can kill Carol Baskins for $3,000.

00:10:47.000 And they wipe his memory, right?

00:10:51.000 Again, way too much technology.

00:10:53.000 They can program his brain to think that whoever they want to die killed his wife.

00:10:59.000 Meanwhile, she hasn't seen him in years and she's moved on and had a family.

00:11:02.000 She's fine.

00:11:04.000 Fucking terrible movie.

00:11:05.000 But training day, I don't like looking at hunks. 1.00

00:11:08.000 Maybe I'm jealous, but Ethan Hawk, hunks ruin shit for me.

00:11:12.000 Especially when they're like you're a cop in Detroit or wherever the fuck they are, South Central or something in some shitty neighborhood, and you're a gorgeous babe. 0.76

00:11:22.000 It's like that show, Prison Break.

00:11:24.000 Remember that one with a bunch of smoldering hunks?

00:11:27.000 The guy wants to break his brother out of prison.

00:11:29.000 He gets a tattoo on his back of the prison.

00:11:31.000 It looks like a castle, but it's actually a blueprint.

00:11:34.000 And he gets, punches a cop or something, gets put in jail.

00:11:37.000 And then he breaks him and his brother out.

00:11:39.000 But he's like, melt in your mouth gorgeous.

00:11:42.000 And you go, I've visited people in prison before.

00:11:44.000 There's no hunks at all.

00:11:46.000 There's not one hunk in prison. 0.97

00:11:48.000 There's zero hunk rate.

00:11:50.000 And remember those cops we showed, that montage of cops who committed suicide?

00:11:54.000 You'll notice there was not a lot of hunks.

00:11:56.000 Out of the one cop suicides a month, I can't believe I'm saying this, only about one was reasonable, as hot as me, say.

00:12:04.000 Have you actually noticed that the victims that we've lost to COVID are very almost exclusively unhot? 0.98

00:12:12.000 I have not.

00:12:13.000 It's an ugly disease.

00:12:15.000 Oh my God, I'm terrible.

00:12:16.000 Get this guy off the stage.

00:12:18.000 Yeah, it's not hurting actual people.

00:12:21.000 It's hurting old people, fat people, and ugly people. 1.00

00:12:23.000 Uglies. 0.90

00:12:24.000 And the poor.

00:12:25.000 So if China is doing this to start a war with us, all you're doing is polishing our populace. 0.85

00:12:31.000 We're doing pretty good.

00:12:32.000 The hunks are fine.

00:12:34.000 They're going to continue to make shitty movies.

00:12:36.000 This literally looks like the opposite of Pornhub.

00:12:41.000 Well, they had the front page of the post yesterday, and it was who we've lost.

00:12:45.000 And I'm looking at it going...

00:12:47.000 Ha ha ha!

00:12:52.000 Oh, them?

00:12:55.000 I'm not going to miss them.

00:12:57.000 I thought it was bad for a second.

00:12:59.000 Well, call me back when things get really bad.

00:13:02.000 Have you got it?

00:13:04.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:13:04.000 I just did.

00:13:05.000 That is it.

00:13:06.000 Oh, it's right there.

00:13:06.000 Okay.

00:13:07.000 Let's see this.

00:13:08.000 Terrible.

00:13:10.000 We're going to hell.

00:13:11.000 Wait, my monitor's not on, dude.

00:13:13.000 Say what?

00:13:15.000 Oh.

00:13:16.000 I can't really see.

00:13:18.000 That whole time, I've been looking at your computer, actually.

00:13:22.000 We're almost as shitty as Seth Meyer and Samantha B. We're almost touching twice as good as Conan levels.

00:13:32.000 This guy's pretty handsome, but he has a do-rag on, so he's trash. 0.91

00:13:36.000 This guy looks pretty cool.

00:13:38.000 He looks like James Rowl Jones, but he's clearly old, so he can go.

00:13:41.000 This guy's ugly.

00:13:42.000 This is like a four.

00:13:44.000 This guy, pretty ugly and old. 0.67

00:13:48.000 This guy's young, but he seems like he could be a dick.

00:13:51.000 She's an old lady. 1.00

00:13:52.000 She's an old lady. 1.00

00:13:53.000 She's ugly. 1.00

00:13:54.000 He looks pretty important, like a doctor.

00:13:57.000 So that's sad.

00:13:58.000 That guy, he's old and ugly, boring.

00:14:02.000 And he's a male nurse or something?

00:14:03.000 Maybe he's a doctor.

00:14:04.000 He's right on the edge.

00:14:05.000 But definitely this is sad and that's sad.

00:14:08.000 But otherwise, it's not so bad.

00:14:13.000 It's not such a bad plague.

00:14:16.000 Just kidding.

00:14:19.000 So yeah, Training Day has Ethan Hawk come out.

00:14:22.000 And at the beginning of the movie, Denzel wants to become a detective and Denzel Washington is there to help him.

00:14:30.000 And Denzel Washington goes, you need to know what you're doing on the streets here.

00:14:32.000 Smoke some crack.

00:14:33.000 And he goes, do it now.

00:14:35.000 And Ethan Hawk goes, okay.

00:14:39.000 Smokes crack.

00:14:41.000 What?

00:14:41.000 I thought it was angel dust.

00:14:43.000 Whatever the fuck.

00:14:44.000 Yeah.

00:14:45.000 And then he said, and the threat before that is, or get out of the car.

00:14:48.000 In other words, lose your chance to become a detective.

00:14:50.000 Okay.

00:14:51.000 I guess I'm not a detective.

00:14:52.000 Bye.

00:14:53.000 Like, what'd you think was going to happen when you smoked fucking PCP, you boob? 0.97

00:14:58.000 What?

00:14:59.000 Go up to any cop.

00:15:00.000 They test your piss all the time.

00:15:02.000 And being a detective is definitely more profitable than being a street cop.

00:15:07.000 It's not that much more.

00:15:08.000 It's maybe like another 20 grand a year.

00:15:10.000 I'm not going to smoke crack and now you can lord that over me.

00:15:12.000 End of the movie.

00:15:13.000 The movie could have ended like two minutes in.

00:15:16.000 No thanks.

00:15:17.000 But he, yeah, no, thank you.

00:15:19.000 Go offer a cop PCP and tell me how that goes.

00:15:24.000 And tell him, say to the cop, if you don't smoke this PCP, then you're fucking out of my car.

00:15:29.000 Guess what's going to happen?

00:15:31.000 You know what's fucking weird, Ryan?

00:15:32.000 What?

00:15:33.000 When you move around in that chair, your wheels sound like someone giggling and it makes me feel like I'm cracking you up.

00:15:40.000 No, I giggle every time I move my chair.

00:15:42.000 I'm giggling so hard.

00:15:43.000 It's me.

00:15:44.000 It tickles your buttocks. 0.53

00:15:45.000 I don't know you like to get wet.

00:15:47.000 I'm Denzel Washington.

00:15:50.000 That wasn't too good.

00:15:51.000 That was Denzel Washington?

00:15:53.000 Show your face.

00:15:55.000 Okay.

00:15:56.000 Okay.

00:15:58.000 Oh, it crashed.

00:15:59.000 Oh, great.

00:16:00.000 It didn't crash, though.

00:16:03.000 I'm Denzel Washington.

00:16:06.000 Holy shit, that is terrible.

00:16:10.000 Can I hear him first?

00:16:12.000 I didn't know you can't do Denzel Washington.

00:16:14.000 I have to hear him.

00:16:15.000 I didn't know you were that untalented.

00:16:17.000 Let me see.

00:16:18.000 I'm Denzel Washington.

00:16:24.000 Holy shit.

00:16:25.000 Wait, let me hear him.

00:16:26.000 It's like some guy hangs a rat and he has a micropenis.

00:16:29.000 That's what that was just like.

00:16:32.000 What's his voice sound like?

00:16:34.000 We're not working in your denzel today.

00:16:34.000 Forget it.

00:16:36.000 Another important piece of news.

00:16:38.000 You know that video we showed yesterday about the Nazi?

00:16:41.000 Yeah.

00:16:42.000 I was thinking about it all day.

00:16:45.000 Pull it up.

00:16:46.000 It actually makes being a Nazi look awesome. 0.82

00:16:49.000 He accidentally made a propaganda ad that says being a Nazi is cool. 0.63

00:16:54.000 Like at the very beginning, the Nazi family, clearly a very wealthy and loving family that have beautiful little birthday parties for their kid. 0.91

00:17:03.000 Being an illegal alien looks pretty good too, by the way. 0.98

00:17:06.000 But you're supposed to make being a Nazi look bad.

00:17:09.000 And look at this.

00:17:10.000 Beautiful, loving family.

00:17:12.000 Southern California.

00:17:14.000 Look at them.

00:17:15.000 They're so sweet and clean.

00:17:18.000 So that's them.

00:17:19.000 And then we see a little bit later on, right?

00:17:21.000 He meets his skinhead pals, who this skinhead we see that he meets when he's a teenager ends up being his best pal for like decades.

00:17:32.000 He stands by him.

00:17:34.000 So now what logic is saying is if you're a Nazi, you'll have a loving family and your friends will stick by you forever, right?

00:17:43.000 And your brother will be there for you too, even though he hides his boots from.

00:17:47.000 But go farther down.

00:17:52.000 Yeah, these guys, it looks awesome.

00:17:55.000 You talk around a campfire, you joke around, and this guy sticks around with this guy his entire life.

00:18:03.000 And then go forward to the bar scene.

00:18:07.000 In the bar scene, so this guy is, I guess, causing problems.

00:18:13.000 And now look, so just hold on, stop, stop.

00:18:17.000 So what this is saying is, if you're going up and harassing a mixed couple and anyone fucks with you, another Nazi from the bar will come over with a knife ready to kill anyone who hurts you.

00:18:28.000 Sounds like gangs to me.

00:18:30.000 You know, like the Bloods or the...

00:18:35.000 It's like, you should join the Aryan Brotherhood. 1.00

00:18:38.000 Yes, there will be freak accidents where you'll fall on your own knife.

00:18:42.000 But I even have good news there.

00:18:44.000 When you get to the hospital, right, with your Nazi tattoos all over you, no matter how ethnic the surgeons are, they're still going to treat you. 0.92

00:18:52.000 You're still going to live.

00:18:53.000 You'll be fine.

00:18:55.000 Way to go, Logic.

00:18:56.000 Logic is a...

00:18:59.000 He has propaganda.

00:19:00.000 He does Nazi propaganda.

00:19:02.000 I love when you discover things like this.

00:19:04.000 Like America First, Nick Fuentes, they're promoting a diversity agenda because they clearly don't want all blacks to go back to Africa. 0.92

00:19:12.000 And they don't want every visible minority to suddenly have to get a mixed race couple.

00:19:17.000 They obviously don't expect me and my wife to divorce and my wife to take the kids, I don't know, back to America where Indians come from, right?

00:19:24.000 But they do want to close borders now and they want to stop this diversity agenda now. 0.99

00:19:28.000 Okay.

00:19:30.000 I get that argument, of course.

00:19:32.000 But America is like 65, 60% white, depending on what you call non-white Hispanics, 14% black, as high as like 30% Hispanic.

00:19:44.000 So that's a pretty diverse group.

00:19:47.000 So, this America First they're talking about today is a diverse country.

00:19:51.000 So, America First, those guys that keep getting called alt-right, are pushing a diverse agenda.

00:20:00.000 Speaking of celebrities, speaking of celebrities, remember that, this is kind of old news now, but I got to get it out.

00:20:09.000 This is one, two.

00:20:12.000 Remember the guy who played the Flash?

00:20:14.000 He's some hot, hunk, smoldering Jewish man. 1.00

00:20:18.000 I think he's Jewish.

00:20:19.000 Evan Williams or something?

00:20:21.000 When I saw the poster, uh-oh.

00:20:25.000 Well, just look up the flash that chokes a girl. 1.00

00:20:27.000 When I saw the poster for the event, No, it was like the Justice League.

00:20:33.000 Yeah.

00:20:34.000 And it was at Davin Buster's.

00:20:36.000 And I went, what the fuck are they doing now?

00:20:38.000 Now they're making the Flash a chick. 1.00

00:20:40.000 My sons are going to grow up seeing a Flash be a chick with her little boobs. 1.00

00:20:45.000 But it's not a chick.

00:20:46.000 It's just a very feminine looking star.

00:20:50.000 Oh, ew, that guy?

00:20:52.000 Yeah, that's not the picture I was talking about.

00:20:53.000 But even then.

00:20:54.000 I hate that.

00:20:55.000 I hated that guy so bad.

00:20:57.000 Look, look.

00:20:57.000 It's a hot chick.

00:21:02.000 What did they do to his uniform?

00:21:04.000 And I know I said I don't care about comic books.

00:21:07.000 This is my kids.

00:21:07.000 I don't.

00:21:08.000 I don't want propaganda going into my kids' eyes.

00:21:11.000 Oh, he choked a fan?

00:21:12.000 Did you want to fight?

00:21:13.000 Is that the new?

00:21:18.000 What the fuck is he wearing?

00:21:20.000 Got a pink scarf, a woman's coat, and foot flats.

00:21:23.000 But it's from you and your wife's hangout last night.

00:21:27.000 It's me and my wife getting drunk watching Aussie docks.

00:21:29.000 What the hell is the context?

00:21:30.000 She's doing a weird dance up to him.

00:21:33.000 What is the context?

00:21:34.000 This is so weird.

00:21:36.000 I don't know.

00:21:36.000 But I kind of get his sentiment if she was fucking with him.

00:21:39.000 Like, I remember at a free speech event in D.C., this reporter comes up to me and he goes, so as you know, Proud Boys were in Charlottesville.

00:21:48.000 And I said, what are we doing here?

00:21:50.000 Let's just fight.

00:21:52.000 I mean, you're fucking with me.

00:21:54.000 You are out to destroy me and hurt my family.

00:21:58.000 So I see that as a violent act.

00:22:00.000 I'm happy to fight you.

00:22:01.000 I want to hurt you for wanting to hurt me.

00:22:03.000 So rather than play games with these silly questions and this passive-aggressive bullshit with your little notepad, let's just cut to the quick.

00:22:12.000 Cut out the middleman and let's just fucking fight right now. 0.88

00:22:16.000 And it scared the shit of him and he walked away.

00:22:19.000 Why is he grabbing her by the throat?

00:22:20.000 This is awkward.

00:22:21.000 He's grabbing her by the throat, taking her to the ground.

00:22:23.000 Why is she playfully? 0.91

00:22:25.000 I don't give a fuck what some teenager said on Reddit. 0.87

00:22:25.000 Why are you pulling this up? 0.87

00:22:27.000 He's wearing sandals in the snow.

00:22:29.000 This is not news.

00:22:30.000 He's wearing sandals.

00:22:31.000 We're trying to do celebrity reporting on their new celebrity-based show.

00:22:36.000 I thought this was funny.

00:22:38.000 For all the people who sit there and they look at movie stars and they must just be thinking, God, I'm a piece of white trash.

00:22:48.000 Don't pull it up yet.

00:22:49.000 I'm a piece of white trash.

00:22:51.000 My wife, she partied a little too much in her heyday, and now she's had some kids.

00:22:56.000 She looks like a fucking meth addict. 1.00

00:22:57.000 I look like a fucking racist loser piece of shit.

00:23:00.000 I wish I could be a movie.

00:23:02.000 I wish I was a rock star and my wife was a beautiful movie star and we weren't the white trash that we are. 1.00

00:23:08.000 Guys, don't have such silly thoughts because rock stars look like you and celebrities look like your wife on a bad day.

00:23:20.000 Okay?

00:23:21.000 This is what they look like.

00:23:23.000 Stars, they're just like us.

00:23:24.000 Ugly.

00:23:27.000 Look how bad she looks there.

00:23:28.000 Time to get stuffed.

00:23:30.000 Yeah, it's the stupid some dumb grocery stores motto.

00:23:35.000 Why would you make that the takeaway?

00:23:39.000 Look, that's the guy who I rent a wood chipper from when I'm taking down branches of my property.

00:23:46.000 And that's the woman at AA who talks too much. 1.00

00:23:52.000 So that was fun.

00:23:53.000 Oh, speaking of disgusting celebrities and rock stars, Lizzo is under the impression that she's not disgusting.

00:24:00.000 And my wife's a huge Lizzo fan. 0.95

00:24:02.000 Sorry to keep mentioning my wife, but I'm not exactly socializing very much these days.

00:24:08.000 And she has brainwashed herself into thinking she's not fucking disgusting. 0.85

00:24:16.000 Has she seen her ass? 1.00

00:24:19.000 Now, there's ways to not be disgusting if you're Lizzo with a photograph.

00:24:23.000 Like look up and get some cleavage in. 1.00

00:24:25.000 Maybe this area at the right angle we could work with.

00:24:28.000 Maybe a thigh, maybe a foot in a high heel.

00:24:31.000 If you could find a high heel that doesn't look like Pillsbury chocolate dough is oozing out of it because your fat foot has to stick in there.

00:24:39.000 But this is one of the worst asses I've ever come across in all my days of assing.

00:24:46.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

00:24:50.000 It looks like a rotten chocolate bun, doesn't it?

00:24:54.000 Look at that.

00:24:56.000 It looks like a burnt hamburger bun that somehow was left in the cold rain overnight.

00:25:03.000 And then she wedgies herself. 1.00

00:25:05.000 And we got to look at this shit, too.

00:25:09.000 I guess there's black guys out there that are horny enough for that. 0.98

00:25:13.000 But God bless them, man.

00:25:14.000 I wouldn't be that horny if I just got out of jail after five years of solitary confinement.

00:25:20.000 I don't think I could get it up for that.

00:25:22.000 Do you?

00:25:23.000 Hell no.

00:25:26.000 I'm not sure you can get a penis in.

00:25:28.000 I don't think you can get a penis in the vagina there. 1.00

00:25:28.000 I don't know if I can get it. 1.00

00:25:31.000 Do the physics work out?

00:25:34.000 I guess they do, right?

00:25:36.000 Isn't that weird, by the way?

00:25:38.000 On all these 600-pound life shows, they always have a girlfriend?

00:25:47.000 Remember that burn victim I showed you the other day?

00:25:50.000 Yeah.

00:25:51.000 Where is that now?

00:25:52.000 Did I not put...

00:25:56.000 Maybe it's not in the notes.

00:25:57.000 Every time I see Lizzo, I think of this, though.

00:26:00.000 Yeah.

00:26:01.000 That's one big pile of shit.

00:26:04.000 Remember that someone put that up, like Steven Spielberg or something, and there was big game hunting, and some fucking idiots were mad that they killed that creature.

00:26:14.000 Wow.

00:26:17.000 Yeah, I saw this burn victim in Britain who was burnt as a toddler, 90% of her body.

00:26:22.000 She has no hands, no hair.

00:26:24.000 She looks like a duckling, an albino duckling on a bad day.

00:26:30.000 And she just got married.

00:26:32.000 And I'm thinking, why can't, like, what's the matter with the rest of us?

00:26:36.000 Why can't we get laid? 1.00

00:26:37.000 And the same with the 600-pound life.

00:26:38.000 They'll have a guy, and he's sitting there, he can't get up, and he has three kids, and he's on his second marriage.

00:26:45.000 Who the fuck?

00:26:49.000 Have you got her there?

00:26:50.000 It's not in the notes, right?

00:26:52.000 No.

00:26:53.000 No, this woman is like the least attractive woman imaginable. 0.99

00:26:58.000 And I'm not shitting on her.

00:26:59.000 She survived a horrible burn.

00:27:01.000 My problem is, what's the matter with you?

00:27:04.000 Why can't you get laid? 1.00

00:27:05.000 It's way worse than this.

00:27:07.000 Like, she has nothing.

00:27:09.000 Oh, there she is.

00:27:11.000 Yeah, that's when she was younger.

00:27:12.000 That's obviously a wig.

00:27:14.000 She just got married.

00:27:16.000 This Tales from the Crypt just got married. 0.88

00:27:20.000 What the fuck's the matter with you?

00:27:22.000 Lizzo's out there getting laid.

00:27:24.000 This chick's married, and you're sitting at home alone beating off to kink.com. 1.00

00:27:30.000 She's married to zombie Al Bundy. 0.92

00:27:35.000 That's her dad, by the way, not her husband.

00:27:36.000 Oh, okay.

00:27:40.000 What's one five?

00:27:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:42.000 Remember Kumal Nanjiani, that fucking annoying Pakistani dude? 1.00

00:27:49.000 And he said, yes, people are making fun of us.

00:27:53.000 We're walking around and we are practicing safe distancing and we can hear people snickering.

00:27:59.000 Guys, this isn't a joke.

00:28:00.000 Look, people are snickering at us as we work super hard to keep six feet away, buddy.

00:28:06.000 And then you're getting kind of dehydrated, buddy.

00:28:10.000 Oh my god, do you dare me to call him?

00:28:12.000 The guy?

00:28:14.000 Yeah.

00:28:15.000 As him?

00:28:17.000 No?

00:28:19.000 Are you just going to call him?

00:28:20.000 Yeah, why not?

00:28:22.000 What the hell is his name?

00:28:23.000 That could be a good idea.

00:28:25.000 The number you are trying to call is not reachable.

00:28:30.000 PPS 6.

00:28:32.000 I haven't talked to him.

00:28:33.000 Did somebody change their number, daddy?

00:28:36.000 Somebody's changing their number, buddy.

00:28:39.000 I'll ask Curtis.

00:28:41.000 Mayfield?

00:28:42.000 Yeah, he's dead, but retard. 1.00

00:28:44.000 Oh.

00:28:45.000 Why would you ask him?

00:28:47.000 Curtis Brown.

00:28:50.000 The black guy who was a Nazi skinhead in the 80s.

00:28:56.000 So yeah.

00:28:57.000 So people are snickering at Kumail because he's practicing six feet.

00:29:01.000 And then this picture comes out and you go, maybe they're snickering because you're a fucking cuck joke who carries his wife's coffee.

00:29:11.000 Why would you carry your wife's coffee? 0.99

00:29:13.000 And by the way, you're not doing six feet.

00:29:16.000 They're snickering at you because you're fucking hilarious with your stupid face and your cocked eyebrow.

00:29:22.000 And now Marvel got you buff.

00:29:27.000 That's why they're snickering.

00:29:28.000 I just snickered.

00:29:30.000 It's a natural reaction.

00:29:32.000 All right.

00:29:34.000 But there is a group of celebrities that are even below celebrities.

00:29:38.000 Are we all on the same page now that celebrities are below us?

00:29:41.000 I think that Twitter has shown a lot of this.

00:29:44.000 Me too, Harvey Weinstein.

00:29:45.000 We realize that they're just incredibly vain, low IQ losers, right?

00:29:50.000 I mean, does anyone envy them?

00:29:52.000 Do people wish they could be married to Cameron Diaz still?

00:29:57.000 I guess with our subscription base, I'm guessing we're at like a 92% see celebrities as below us, right?

00:30:05.000 But there's a group even lower than that, and that is YouTubers.

00:30:09.000 This is like the low IQ of celebrities, but somehow even stupider and more annoying and shitty and inarticulate.

00:30:21.000 This guy is one of the best.

00:30:22.000 He has a new show where he goes to YouTubers' house and shows all their awesome stuff.

00:30:27.000 Look at the way they dress.

00:30:28.000 Look at his fanny pack and this guy's hair.

00:30:30.000 I want to dedicate to you.

00:30:31.000 Kate, turn it up.

00:30:34.000 Second off, this year I became one of the most hated YouTubers on the platform.

00:30:39.000 That's maybe because I let Risegum punch me in the face, or maybe because I came out and said 99% of the pranks on YouTube are fake.

00:30:46.000 Just pause.

00:30:47.000 Like, you thought celebrity politics were boring when they get up there and they talk about Trump and Meryl Streep says that Donald Trump was making fun of a disabled person, the most powerful voice in the land, was mocking someone less able, someone underprivileged.

00:31:04.000 That was annoying.

00:31:05.000 This is even more shitty.

00:31:07.000 This is below tedious celebrity rants.

00:31:12.000 That woman isn't even looking at him. 0.99

00:31:15.000 He's doing his thing.

00:31:15.000 I'm going to say this.

00:31:16.000 For a long time, I looked at myself in the mirror and I based myself based on what I read on the comments.

00:31:21.000 I felt worthless.

00:31:22.000 I felt ugly.

00:31:23.000 I felt gay.

00:31:24.000 I felt that no, like, that's based on what they told me.

00:31:28.000 But I reminded myself the two most gaffe.

00:31:30.000 Because a gaff like that, where you say, I felt ugly.

00:31:35.000 We got to make that a video drop, by the way.

00:31:37.000 I felt ugly.

00:31:37.000 I felt worthless.

00:31:38.000 I felt gay.

00:31:40.000 You know all those shitty things to feel.

00:31:42.000 But what did they do in the audience?

00:31:44.000 I want to say this.

00:31:45.000 For a long time, I looked at myself in the mirror and I based myself based on what I read on the comments.

00:31:50.000 I felt worthless.

00:31:51.000 I felt ugly.

00:31:52.000 I felt gay.

00:31:53.000 I felt that note of like that just based on what they told me.

00:31:58.000 What's her name?

00:31:59.000 Yeah, yeah, Melissa or whatever the fuck. 1.00

00:32:02.000 Lily Singh, the bisexual woman of color who doesn't want you to know that she's just a boring Canadian Indian and she's not actually a black woman. 1.00

00:32:10.000 I know you guys are probably bothered that I'm brown and I'm on the stage, but you're not bisexual, okay? 0.71

00:32:16.000 You're straight and you got drunk and made out with another pretty chick.

00:32:20.000 Sorry, that's not a bisexual.

00:32:22.000 There's no such thing as a fucking bisexual. 0.92

00:32:25.000 You're either into dicks or you're into cunts. 0.94

00:32:27.000 That's the end of the story.

00:32:29.000 But I remind them.

00:32:30.000 Talk to a gay about a pussy. 1.00

00:32:32.000 I do this all the time.

00:32:33.000 I'm like, you like boobs, right?

00:32:35.000 And they go, yeah, I can get, I've made out with chicks, probably more than you. 0.99

00:32:37.000 They always say that.

00:32:38.000 I've made out with more chicks than you. 1.00

00:32:39.000 And the number is always like 20.

00:32:41.000 20?

00:32:42.000 That was me just warming up when I was 16.

00:32:45.000 I'm in the hundreds, my friend.

00:32:47.000 I've had every STD except crabs and syphilis.

00:32:51.000 It's easier to list the STDs I haven't had.

00:32:54.000 I'm not bragging.

00:32:55.000 I'm not bragging.

00:32:57.000 But then you ask them about a pussy and without a, without, without exception, they always go, oh, and they go, don't you just want to get in there and just eat it? 1.00

00:33:07.000 And then as it gets wet, you drink the juice and they're like, and then when you talk to lesbians about dicks, they're like, I think it would be cool to have one. 1.00

00:33:18.000 They seem handy.

00:33:19.000 It beats like having to wear a strap on.

00:33:22.000 They go, but what about just like getting right in, just smoking a hog, licking a guy's big hairy balls. 0.95

00:33:29.000 You can smell his ball sweat.

00:33:31.000 And again, they're like, oh!

00:33:34.000 But to go from eating this one to smoking another, maybe if you're drunk in college, but no, it's not a thing.

00:33:41.000 Sorry, sing.

00:33:42.000 Myself, the two most important words of my life that I had to use for myself whenever I was fighting my mental illness.

00:33:49.000 Those two words are I am.

00:33:52.000 Doesn't that mean like I am gay?

00:33:54.000 I am.

00:33:55.000 Yeah, that's shitty.

00:33:57.000 Because every day when I looked at myself in the mirror, every day when I looked at myself in the mirror, listen to the crowd kind of just so dumb.

00:34:03.000 Two most important words of my life that I had to use for myself.

00:34:06.000 You never thought you could get lower than celebrities.

00:34:08.000 Like if you read a celebrity magazine, you feel kind of dirty after.

00:34:11.000 You have to wash your hands and like read Kierkegaard to sort of cleanse your brain.

00:34:16.000 But watching YouTubers, like this, okay, we have to do this.

00:34:19.000 What's that guy?

00:34:20.000 Yousef?

00:34:20.000 FouziTube.

00:34:21.000 FouziTube?

00:34:22.000 Yeah.

00:34:22.000 Look up FouziTube's new show, and he goes to Logan Paul's house, and they see what a Mac he is.

00:34:29.000 You know what's funny too about YouTubers? 0.86

00:34:31.000 That fucking Bernie argument where 1% makes over 80% of the money and 90% of the top 2%.

00:34:40.000 This is true of YouTubers. 1.00

00:34:42.000 You can apply it to pretty much everything, Bernie.

00:34:45.000 So why would you think YouTubers are anything different? 0.98

00:34:48.000 The top 1% of YouTubers are making 80% of the cash and over 76 to 80% of YouTubers, people who put stuff on YouTube, don't monetize anything.

00:34:58.000 We have this tiny group of YouTubers that are dominating all of the YouTube income.

00:35:03.000 And YouTube is making over $2.7 billion a year and it's only going into the hands of maybe 15 different people.

00:35:13.000 And then YouTube is taking the lion's share of the profits.

00:35:18.000 1% of the people who play basketball are in the NBA.

00:35:22.000 You have these millionaires making $30 million a year when 98% of people who play basketball don't make any money.

00:35:30.000 Yeah, there's exceptional people.

00:35:33.000 99% of the people who do mathematics are not very good at it and have trouble.

00:35:38.000 And you have the only people who win the Fields Medal in mathematics are maybe one person a year.

00:35:44.000 And those are the only people making money.

00:35:45.000 1% of people who do math make money from mathematics.

00:35:49.000 Yeah.

00:35:50.000 There's exceptional basketball players.

00:35:53.000 There's very lucky idiots.

00:35:56.000 There's people who are really good at math.

00:36:00.000 Like everything is 95.5, Bernie.

00:36:02.000 Do you want to change that?

00:36:04.000 YouTube, I actually love this analogy because say we did that and we spread all the money around.

00:36:08.000 You'd have all these shitty videos on YouTube making money.

00:36:12.000 And these guys at people, I guess young people like this shit, not making any money.

00:36:17.000 What's up with his hand?

00:36:20.000 Ew.

00:36:21.000 I think it's a tattoo.

00:36:25.000 So this is what you do with money.

00:36:27.000 Do you really make?

00:36:28.000 Well, today, we're going to find out.

00:36:30.000 Here on my new show, YouTube Cribs, we're going to visit the homes of some of the top YouTube creators to see how they like to spend their money.

00:36:37.000 Our first episode, Logan Paul.

00:36:40.000 Logan has had a massively successful career, starting on vine and then taking ugly and gay. 1.00

00:36:46.000 I felt ugly.

00:36:47.000 I felt gay.

00:36:48.000 And even ugly form on November 9th in the 16th century.

00:36:52.000 Jump ahead and see Logan Paul's stupid house.

00:36:59.000 Yo, check it out.

00:37:01.000 I spent five grand on a lamp.

00:37:03.000 It's a giant plastic horse.

00:37:05.000 So this was a store.

00:37:07.000 It is.

00:37:07.000 That it is.

00:37:07.000 Check it out.

00:37:08.000 Yo, check it out.

00:37:09.000 This is like a room where I have a bunch of my merch.

00:37:12.000 Oh, wow.

00:37:13.000 And then there's a guy who takes orders through PayPal here, and then we ship them.

00:37:17.000 This was the Kong den.

00:37:19.000 Sometimes he sleeps there.

00:37:20.000 Look at his Gucci purse.

00:37:22.000 He has a Gucci handbag.

00:37:25.000 This is, I put my dog in the fireplace.

00:37:26.000 These are my fucking dogs.

00:37:28.000 Like, what the fuck?

00:37:30.000 You know who's got a great house, by the way?

00:37:32.000 Speaking of blow Ike you, lots of money.

00:37:35.000 Tracy Morgan.

00:37:36.000 Look that up.

00:37:37.000 She's a little bit more.

00:37:37.000 Tracy Morgan house tour.

00:37:39.000 This is what happened with Tracy Morgan. 0.97

00:37:40.000 He was making good money.

00:37:41.000 He was probably worth like a million bucks.

00:37:43.000 And he got in that car accident where everyone died.

00:37:47.000 And he's a kid from the streets.

00:37:49.000 He's a Brooklyn kid.

00:37:50.000 And he went, you know, let me just tell you how Brooklyn goes.

00:37:54.000 One time my wife slipped at a CVS in Brooklyn.

00:37:57.000 And this Puerto Rican woman says, stay down, stay down. 1.00

00:38:00.000 I got you.

00:38:02.000 Every time they get into an accident, they just think, how we're going to monetize it.

00:38:05.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:38:06.000 You're going way too fast.

00:38:10.000 Look, look, just go back.

00:38:12.000 I love the games he chose.

00:38:14.000 They're so shitty.

00:38:16.000 It's like Gallagher and Donkey Kong.

00:38:22.000 Sorry, just let it play.

00:38:26.000 Here we go.

00:38:27.000 So what he did after the car accident was he probably just went like, I'm retarded now. 0.80

00:38:33.000 I can't do comedy no more.

00:38:36.000 Maybe he whispers to his wife, like, I'm actually fine, but we got to play this out for a bit.

00:38:40.000 And he doesn't talk.

00:38:41.000 He doesn't appear anywhere.

00:38:43.000 And he just sits in the hospital like, I don't know what that is.

00:38:46.000 Is that a pen?

00:38:48.000 And then he gets a settlement, which I'm, my gut says 280 million.

00:38:54.000 Judging by the way he spends money.

00:38:57.000 Or more.

00:38:57.000 I mean, he has like a $2 million car.

00:39:00.000 And he has a bowling lane in his house.

00:39:02.000 And then the second he gets that check, what's up?

00:39:06.000 I'm Tracy Morgan.

00:39:07.000 Everyone's getting pregnant tonight. 1.00

00:39:10.000 What the fuck?

00:39:11.000 Boom, he's on.

00:39:11.000 He's all better all of a sudden.

00:39:13.000 You could just see that insurance company going, motherfucker.

00:39:17.000 Son of a bitch. 0.88

00:39:18.000 But if you are going to give someone $250 million, please make it Tracy Morgan.

00:39:23.000 He has albino amphibian alligator fish in his pool table.

00:39:31.000 Like they live in the base of his pool table.

00:39:34.000 Check it out.

00:39:38.000 The seats have bass drum.

00:39:40.000 They have speakers in them.

00:39:42.000 So when it's like shit.

00:39:45.000 The seats were making it so awesome.

00:39:47.000 The popground.

00:39:49.000 So you just don't hear the sound.

00:39:51.000 You can feel it.

00:39:53.000 And you in the picture.

00:39:55.000 You're in a picture.

00:39:56.000 And you did it that way.

00:39:58.000 I'm glad.

00:39:59.000 And then I have an indoor basketball court.

00:40:00.000 I got indoor basketball court with certain players of the Knicks.

00:40:06.000 Pop wall.

00:40:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:09.000 This part is wife because he's like the next Spike Lean.

00:40:12.000 Actually, it's better, easier to say the first Tracy Morgan.

00:40:15.000 And look at his cars.

00:40:16.000 Go forward a bit.

00:40:18.000 Well, that's the fish tank.

00:40:19.000 No, they They think a foyer is pronounced foyer.

00:40:26.000 Foyer.

00:40:28.000 Wait, go to the pool table.

00:40:30.000 Do you miss it?

00:40:33.000 No, it's after this.

00:40:36.000 There it is.

00:40:38.000 Wow.

00:40:38.000 What the fuck are those?

00:40:40.000 Sturgeons?

00:40:40.000 I don't know.

00:40:41.000 No, he said they're alligators.

00:40:44.000 It's like a type of alligator fish.

00:40:46.000 Turn it up.

00:40:47.000 Yeah, well, I'm the first Tracy Mog, and it's easier.

00:40:49.000 Yeah.

00:40:50.000 Well, that's true.

00:40:51.000 We have a fish tech in our pool table with two platinum alligator garb.

00:40:56.000 They have teeth.

00:40:58.000 What the fuck is alligator garb?

00:41:00.000 It's what you wear when you go to the fucking.

00:41:02.000 It's never going to swear on their boots.

00:41:06.000 All right, you get the idea.

00:41:07.000 Look at this.

00:41:09.000 Walmart wants the millions back from Tracy Mogan.

00:41:12.000 Videos, pictures.

00:41:14.000 Let's see.

00:41:15.000 $13.9 million mansion.

00:41:18.000 $90 million plus settlement from Walmart.

00:41:20.000 $90 million plus settlement.

00:41:22.000 Three of that on a car?

00:41:24.000 That's not good spending, dude.

00:41:29.000 Are we reading that?

00:41:30.000 No, I can't read it.

00:41:31.000 Can you read it?

00:41:32.000 so it Well, just after receiving a settlement, pictures surface of him driving around a 400,000,000 444,000 Lamborghini he bought.

00:41:52.000 Then came the news that he also purchased a five-bedroom, nine-bathroom, $13.9 million mansion.

00:41:57.000 Sprawling $218.

00:41:58.000 I don't understand why they want their money back.

00:42:00.000 Tracy has a new Netflix staying alive carrying Walmart.

00:42:03.000 Like what'd you think he was going to do when you gave a poor kid from the Bronx and Brooklyn $90 million?

00:42:10.000 Tracy Morgan's been ordered to testify under oath by Walmart's insurance company about the multi-million dollar crash settlement that he from...

00:42:19.000 And you read so badly.

00:42:22.000 The store is insurer, Ohio Casualty, is demanding that the comic be deposed over the estimated blah, blah, blah.

00:42:28.000 They're asking that he turn over his medical records, income statements, information related to his future earning potential, and even documents pertaining to appearances he made on SNL.

00:42:37.000 Sometimes no matter how much you bone, you have to fly low-key.

00:42:40.000 Court documents.

00:42:42.000 Yeah, I figured as much.

00:42:43.000 It's really about the medical record.

00:42:46.000 By the way, find him on, I don't think I put this in the notes, but he was just on, you know that woman with the fucked up, he's on the Today Show. 0.53

00:42:53.000 Ota?

00:42:55.000 Yeah.

00:42:56.000 I hate her name.

00:42:59.000 Why do we cripple kids with names that no one can pronounce?

00:43:03.000 If you're born in America, call your kid John.

00:43:10.000 My kids have weird Indian middle names, but they don't have to use them if they don't want to.

00:43:14.000 Tracy Morgan's with us.

00:43:16.000 His show, The Last OG, it returns to TBS tonight with his character Trey continuing the fight of reminding people of what his Brooklyn used to be like.

00:43:27.000 Take a look.

00:43:28.000 Looks like Louis Armstrong.

00:43:32.000 That's over funny.

00:43:36.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:43:37.000 Pardon me, sir.

00:43:38.000 These people paid good money for an authentic tour of Brooklyn.

00:43:41.000 So if you'll excuse us, we'll be on our way.

00:43:43.000 Authentic.

00:43:44.000 Y'all want authentic?

00:43:46.000 Y'all call us Brooklyn?

00:43:47.000 We call Crooklyn.

00:43:49.000 Crooklyn.

00:43:50.000 Sorry, Tracy.

00:43:51.000 How do you mean?

00:43:52.000 Good morning.

00:43:53.000 I'm good.

00:43:54.000 Good morning to you.

00:43:55.000 Hey, baby.

00:43:55.000 Good morning to you.

00:43:56.000 My mother-in-law, Chrissy, says good morning.

00:43:58.000 She loves you.

00:43:59.000 Well, I'll tell her I love her back.

00:44:01.000 Tell me about what life is like being at home for Tracy and his family.

00:44:08.000 Oh, well, me and my wife have been quarantining here for like three weeks, so she's pregnant three times.

00:44:13.000 Every week she got pregnant. 0.97

00:44:15.000 Okay.

00:44:16.000 So, you know.

00:44:17.000 So, and we also, we're role-playing a lot now.

00:44:21.000 We're role-playing.

00:44:22.000 She's playing a young maiden whose grandfather was infected with coronavirus.

00:44:26.000 And I'm the scientist who discovered the cure.

00:44:29.000 And she'll do anything to save her grandfather's life.

00:44:32.000 Not me, anything.

00:44:36.000 He's the best.

00:44:38.000 By the way, I'm not shitting on him for ripping off that insurance company.

00:44:42.000 Whatever.

00:44:42.000 That's none of my business.

00:44:43.000 I love Tracy Morgan.

00:44:44.000 You know those Gary Goldman?

00:44:45.000 Oh, no, it gets better.

00:44:46.000 That was Gary Goldman's joke in Joker?

00:44:49.000 What was?

00:44:49.000 He's like, me and my wife like to role play.

00:44:52.000 She's the student, blah, blah, and I'm the teacher, and she'll do anything to pass.

00:44:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:57.000 He says, pass all weird.

00:44:59.000 You are a creative one.

00:45:01.000 All right.

00:45:01.000 So tell me.

00:45:02.000 Now, we know what your house looks like because you know what, Tracy Willie took us on a tour. 0.94

00:45:06.000 We know what's going on in that home of yours.

00:45:08.000 There's a bowling.

00:45:10.000 That's not important.

00:45:12.000 I mean, even like I was just watching the show, this tiger and the bronze oak got me scared.

00:45:18.000 So I'm going to get all my pets tested.

00:45:21.000 I'm getting my sharps tested.

00:45:23.000 I'm getting my more eel tested.

00:45:25.000 I just bought a 600-pound silverback gorilla.

00:45:28.000 I'm going to take him down to New York Presbyterian And get him tested.

00:45:32.000 Gorillas only get around 400 pounds, by the way.

00:45:35.000 Yeah, it's a comedian doing a comedy bit, Ryan.

00:45:38.000 But thank you for that update.

00:45:39.000 You know, Hoda is one of Bill Schultz's crushes.

00:45:42.000 He loves Hoda.

00:45:44.000 Oh, my God.

00:45:44.000 She's a thousand years old.

00:45:47.000 Gross.

00:45:48.000 He's got a mummy fetish.

00:45:50.000 What a fucking weirdo.

00:45:52.000 Every time I hang out with Bill, I go, can you just stop this and just become a fag? 1.00

00:45:56.000 Like, all your friends are girls.

00:45:58.000 You've got your flip-flops on.

00:46:00.000 You're just, you're wasting time and occupying a lot of the straight male world. 0.99

00:46:04.000 Get out of here.

00:46:05.000 I have no interest in big gay. 1.00

00:46:08.000 Chelsea, just be a fag. 1.00

00:46:10.000 Stop wasting everyone's time.

00:46:13.000 Okay.

00:46:14.000 So we're done, the celebrity mix.

00:46:17.000 I wanted to talk about God Emperor Trump for a second.

00:46:22.000 Someone put up on the Gavin Reddit this softball question that Obama got.

00:46:27.000 When you juxtapose Obama's treatment with Trump's treatment, it is stunning.

00:46:34.000 It's two totally different universes.

00:46:37.000 Like, this is basically pornography.

00:46:40.000 This is mixed-race porn where a white woman blows a black guy with all the fervor of someone whose grandfather has COVID and he's a scientist who has the cure. 1.00

00:46:54.000 And Christy, you are going to get the last question.

00:46:56.000 Christy is I've been knowing her since Springfield, Illinois.

00:47:05.000 When I was a state senator, she listened to what I had to say.

00:47:10.000 So the least I can do is get rid of the last question.

00:47:17.000 There you go.

00:47:18.000 Go ahead.

00:47:20.000 Mr. President.

00:47:22.000 It has been a long time.

00:47:22.000 Turn up.

00:47:23.000 Thank you.

00:47:24.000 And I have a personal question for you.

00:47:26.000 It's going to be tough.

00:47:28.000 Got the president's ear.

00:47:30.000 The First Lady put the stakes of the 2015 election in very personal terms in a speech that resonated across the country.

00:47:38.000 And she really spoke the concerns of a lot of women, LGBT folks, sip the coffee.

00:47:44.000 Do you know what she's saying?

00:47:46.000 She's saying that when Trump, the threat of Trump, scared Michelle, because now that Trump's elected, he's going to be really hard on gays and women.

00:47:55.000 It's me, grabbing women's pussies and just electrocuting gays. 1.00

00:47:59.000 Because a fucking Pepe meme is where she gets her facts. 1.00

00:48:03.000 She really spoke the concerns of a lot of women, LGBT folks, people of color, many others.

00:48:11.000 And so I wonder now how you and the First Lady are talking to your daughters about the meaning of this election and how you interpret it for yourself and for them.

00:48:24.000 Mr. Paz.

00:48:25.000 So this is the answer you're supposed to say.

00:48:28.000 Thank you very much, Catherine Perkins, whatever the fuck your name is.

00:48:33.000 We live in a very troubled society with systemic racism and sexism, and Trump helps those people get out of the closet.

00:48:40.000 But what I can tell my two young black girls is that I'm a black president, and I am living proof that America's sometimes not racist.

00:48:50.000 So yes, they're going to see Klan rallies and stuff in Trump's America.

00:48:54.000 But sweeties know that for eight years, America was not racist, and it can be un-racist again if you just have faith.

00:49:05.000 That's basically what she's saying.

00:49:07.000 I mean, it's a rhetorical question that has an answer built into it and getting good at it, if you will.

00:49:13.000 I can't even say the fucking word it ever again.

00:49:15.000 It's ruined.

00:49:16.000 Or even if anything said with the cadence.

00:49:19.000 And that's because of have my arm chopped off, bring it to the hospital, and as they're trying to figure out if they can put it back on, they can say, well, how long did you have it?

00:49:30.000 Well, I had it, and I started getting good at it, if you will.

00:49:33.000 So being good at it, if you will.

00:49:36.000 It's ruined the word it for me.

00:49:38.000 I can't even watch the movie it.

00:49:40.000 Did Shane get back to me?

00:49:42.000 Oh, good.

00:49:44.000 He got back to me.

00:49:45.000 I felt ugly.

00:49:46.000 I felt gay.

00:49:51.000 That's my favorite drop.

00:49:53.000 That's just the short version.

00:49:54.000 Wait, you got to have the worthless, too.

00:49:56.000 I felt worthless.

00:49:57.000 I felt ugly.

00:49:58.000 I felt gay.

00:49:59.000 Yeah, that's the only one.

00:50:00.000 Comedy comes in threes.

00:50:02.000 Okay, so don't.

00:50:03.000 Okay, I'm calling him.

00:50:05.000 You know who I'm calling?

00:50:06.000 No?

00:50:07.000 The buddy guy.

00:50:08.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:50:10.000 and being good at it, if you will.

00:50:13.000 Thank you.

00:50:17.000 My phone battery has learned to die right before I start texting out things that I'm gonna regret.

00:50:23.000 Nice.

00:50:24.000 I'm really happy about it.

00:50:24.000 Because I used to back when I was on social media, I would wake up and read my tweets.

00:50:28.000 Oh no.

00:50:32.000 I'll text him.

00:50:38.000 I feel like I'm a doad.

00:50:43.000 Okay, I need the dehydrated daddy story.

00:50:46.000 All right, so should we even bother watching his response?

00:50:50.000 I mean, it's going to be so derivative.

00:50:51.000 Go ahead, Obama.

00:50:53.000 You know, Hussain. 0.64

00:50:55.000 Iraq Hussein.

00:50:57.000 Basil Belt.

00:50:58.000 Every parent brags on their daughters or their sons.

00:51:02.000 I'm not that special.

00:51:03.000 You have daughters too.

00:51:05.000 I'm just a dad.

00:51:06.000 Yes, I'm the president.

00:51:07.000 Yes, I'm magic.

00:51:08.000 Well, I'm also a human being.

00:51:10.000 Man, my bad.

00:51:10.000 Spot on Pete Buttigig impression.

00:51:14.000 And they just surprise and enchant.

00:51:20.000 Listen to him.

00:51:21.000 He's so boring.

00:51:22.000 He's just dancing around.

00:51:25.000 He's the most boring president we've ever had.

00:51:29.000 You know, sometimes I learn more from them than they learn from me.

00:51:32.000 In many ways, they're my dad.

00:51:35.000 And they're the president of Barack Obama.

00:51:40.000 As parent to child, but also we learn from them.

00:51:44.000 Yes.

00:51:44.000 We learned from them.

00:51:46.000 And I think it was really interesting.

00:51:48.000 Shaman Obama.

00:51:49.000 I hate this piece of shit.

00:51:51.000 They were disappointed.

00:51:55.000 He's like a noble sage.

00:51:56.000 Okay, so that's an Obama press conference, right?

00:51:59.000 We had To put up with that for eight years, and by the way, we didn't have ODS, we didn't have Obama derangement syndrome when he won.

00:52:06.000 I remember the night he won.

00:52:07.000 The fucking streets in Williamsburg, Brooklyn were mental.

00:52:11.000 People were cheering, they were climbing up telephone poles.

00:52:14.000 The street Bedford Avenue, which you saw on the NYC tour the other day where they were lining up for Whole Foods or whatever.

00:52:20.000 Bedford Avenue was packed with people dancing and cheering that the racists got kicked in the ass.

00:52:26.000 And I felt like just going out there and going, but America's not racist, you fucking dumbasses.

00:52:32.000 They voted for him.

00:52:33.000 No one lost.

00:52:34.000 The Klan is not going, oh, god darn it.

00:52:37.000 The Klan is fucking 16 guys that could fit in one living room.

00:52:40.000 This isn't a victory against racism.

00:52:43.000 And one more thing, he's not the fucking Messiah.

00:52:46.000 Okay, stop talking like Jesus has come back.

00:52:51.000 Oh, he said LOL.

00:52:52.000 Who is this?

00:52:54.000 Gavin.

00:52:57.000 I'm doing...

00:53:00.000 That's easier for people to understand.

00:53:02.000 My internet television show.

00:53:05.000 Mikey! 0.65

00:53:06.000 Mikey! 0.65

00:53:12.000 Okay, I'm calling him back because he texted me back.

00:53:14.000 You can text, you can talk.

00:53:18.000 What's up, dog?

00:53:19.000 You're live on Get Off My Lawn. 1.00

00:53:22.000 Believe it or not, I got another fucking baby here with me now.

00:53:26.000 A grandbaby.

00:53:27.000 Holy.

00:53:28.000 Unbelievable.

00:53:29.000 Shit never stops.

00:53:30.000 What?

00:53:31.000 A grandbaby?

00:53:32.000 What a surprise.

00:53:33.000 Fuck, I haven't seen you in so long you became a grandfather.

00:53:38.000 Yeah, I mean, you know, probably had a few more kids.

00:53:40.000 A lot of stuff's happened.

00:53:42.000 How are you doing?

00:53:44.000 I'm feeling good, man.

00:53:46.000 What is going on here?

00:53:48.000 You're talking about that doctor with the Lyme's disease?

00:53:51.000 Is that what I'm talking about?

00:53:52.000 Yes, it was about Lyme.

00:53:53.000 It was five years ago.

00:53:55.000 I've told this story about 10 times.

00:53:56.000 People made a t-shirt of it, and people keep getting me to repeat it, but it's been so long, it's getting a little threadbare, and I'm forgetting details.

00:54:05.000 Can you just glide through it quickly?

00:54:08.000 Yeah, the long and the short.

00:54:09.000 It was after Aiden had been diagnosed with Lyme's disease.

00:54:16.000 He was like two years old.

00:54:18.000 And that was my fourth kid.

00:54:22.000 So I was an expert at that point.

00:54:24.000 Yeah, living upstate, everyone gets it with kids.

00:54:27.000 But yeah, he all of a sudden, after three, four days of treatment, he got paralyzed.

00:54:33.000 And then, you know, he couldn't walk.

00:54:37.000 He was just basically paraplegic, whatever.

00:54:42.000 What was the thing he would say?

00:54:43.000 Like, I'm the speedy guy or something?

00:54:46.000 Yeah, he was like, I got this fast button.

00:54:48.000 He's like, he's like, my fast button's not working.

00:54:52.000 He's like, I got to use my slow speed strength or whatever.

00:54:55.000 It was just like watching a fucking, your kid go from like, you know, like this maniac, you know, daredevil two and a half year old to like, you know, just fucking, you know, like a, I don't know what, whatever, some horrible cerebral palsy style situation or something.

00:55:13.000 Yeah, anyway, I don't know.

00:55:14.000 So we, you know, in the morning brought him, they, and I went to a few doctors, but the first initial doctor, you know, is this Indian dude, and he's like just a condescending freak show. 1.00

00:55:27.000 And yeah, like one of the many questions was, did you have playtime today, Daddy?

00:55:37.000 Yeah, bitch, I did have fucking playtime. 1.00

00:55:40.000 What is that?

00:55:41.000 I was like, what does that even got to do with what's going on with this paralyzed kid? 0.86

00:55:46.000 So he's like, he's like, maybe the park, you went and play a little too much, dehydration, think of daddy.

00:55:54.000 And I'm like, dude, I'm like, this is not a dehydration.

00:55:59.000 And at the time, you remember Mel, you know, she was younger.

00:56:02.000 So she probably, I don't know if this guy thought it was like I said, our first kid, but I was like, either way, I was like, you don't go from your kid backflipping off of his fucking dresser to paralyzed.

00:56:13.000 That ain't like from, you know, being on the slide too.

00:56:16.000 Yeah, that's not from being fucking thirsty.

00:56:19.000 Yeah, I was like, you know, I know when they need Pedialite or whatever, it's like, yeah, with a fever and shit, not from like just an extra, like, double-dutch session or something.

00:56:31.000 Yeah, the dude was a, yeah, but that was it, man. 0.97

00:56:33.000 That was a little maybe dehydrated, Daddy.

00:56:37.000 Do you think play too much?

00:56:39.000 Did we have playtime today?

00:56:41.000 Do you still have that shirt?

00:56:43.000 Yeah.

00:56:44.000 Well, I have a picture.

00:56:45.000 I'm going to find it in my shirt.

00:56:47.000 I'll send it to you.

00:56:48.000 But that shirt is, I've moved around a lot.

00:56:51.000 It's somewhere in a storage ben or something.

00:56:55.000 Okay, well, thanks for updating us.

00:56:57.000 I got to get back to the show.

00:56:59.000 Yeah, dude, later.

00:57:00.000 Hope that was helpful.

00:57:00.000 Later.

00:57:01.000 Have a good one.

00:57:04.000 That was the phrase I forgot.

00:57:05.000 Did we have playtime today, Daddy?

00:57:08.000 Meanwhile, Lymes, as you help stators put it, has very specific symptoms.

00:57:15.000 And it's very weird symptoms.

00:57:17.000 It's like you start to seize.

00:57:19.000 It's almost like your joints don't have oil.

00:57:21.000 Yeah, there's tons of different ones.

00:57:23.000 Sometimes it mimics MS. Yeah. 1.00

00:57:26.000 13.

00:57:26.000 And you behead people for drugs.

00:57:30.000 Okay, so sorry, that was a little side bit.

00:57:34.000 But I've been looking at questions for Trump.

00:57:36.000 One of the questions he got the other day was, so I understand that you encourage people to go vote in Wisconsin and a large number of them got sick.

00:57:45.000 Do you feel any culpability for their illness?

00:57:49.000 Do you think that you jeopardize their safety in any way?

00:57:51.000 And he goes, all I did was endorse a candidate.

00:57:54.000 I don't know how their voting booths work.

00:57:56.000 And that's my job, to endorse candidates.

00:57:59.000 Like, what a fucked up question.

00:58:02.000 And the other one I saw the other day was they said, so you said that a lot of the times we're conveying this disease to each other in crowded places.

00:58:11.000 And it happens in businesses that are open still.

00:58:14.000 Wouldn't it make sense just to shut down every single store, all business, and enforce like a curfew?

00:58:21.000 What?

00:58:22.000 Like gas stations, grocery stores, pharmacies?

00:58:26.000 You want me to completely shut down this entire fucking country?

00:58:32.000 What a dare to ask.

00:58:34.000 But I think I have a couple of them here.

00:58:37.000 What's 178?

00:58:40.000 Did serve in the previous administration?

00:58:42.000 Oh, you didn't tell me that.

00:58:44.000 Oh, I see.

00:58:45.000 You didn't tell me that, John.

00:58:47.000 You didn't tell me that.

00:58:48.000 Did serve in the previous administration?

00:58:50.000 You mean the Obama administration?

00:58:51.000 So he's saying he's talking about incompetence in the Trump administration, but he's talking about someone who was appointed by Obama.

00:58:59.000 Thank you for telling me that.

00:59:01.000 See, there's a typical fake news deal.

00:59:05.000 I told you she was appointed a third.

00:59:08.000 Keep going.

00:59:10.000 She was appointed by your race reporter. 0.94

00:59:12.000 And what you just said is a disgrace, okay?

00:59:15.000 You asked me, you said, sir, just got appointed.

00:59:18.000 Take a look at what you said now.

00:59:19.000 I said, when did they, when did this person, how long in government?

00:59:23.000 Well, it was appointed in the Obama administration.

00:59:26.000 Thank you very much, John.

00:59:28.000 Thank you very much.

00:59:29.000 You will never make it.

00:59:30.000 Wow.

00:59:33.000 Wow.

00:59:33.000 You know what?

00:59:34.000 Oh, back to the fellow this.

00:59:36.000 He would just march off in a huff.

00:59:38.000 He would not have the balls.

00:59:39.000 He's way too much of a prima donna to handle any kind of aggression.

00:59:43.000 In fact, I know that for a fact because when he met John Lott, he said, oh, you're the gun guy.

00:59:50.000 And John Lott goes, well, I think that the data on guns and crime is often misdiagnosed, but I'd love to sit with you and discuss it.

00:59:59.000 And Obama just went, hmm, and stormed off.

01:00:02.000 This is back when they were both professors at Chicago College.

01:00:05.000 All right.

01:00:06.000 Check out 17B.

01:00:11.000 Doesn't know the price of oil.

01:00:13.000 Oh, this was good too.

01:00:14.000 I checked oil today.

01:00:15.000 So this guy's pretending that he's really into the stock market when he's just trying to have a gotcha moment.

01:00:20.000 And Trump smells the bullshit and catches him.

01:00:23.000 This is why it's great to have a New Yorker as a president.

01:00:25.000 They're going to vote for the right candidate.

01:00:27.000 Yeah, please.

01:00:30.000 Just checking on oil again today.

01:00:32.000 Yeah.

01:00:33.000 visit today?

01:00:34.000 Well, I was Give me the price.

01:00:38.000 I'm not sure, to be honest.

01:00:40.000 How can you ask a question when you don't know the price?

01:00:43.000 I'll look it up for you.

01:00:44.000 Let me do something else.

01:00:45.000 Go ahead.

01:00:46.000 You've done it.

01:00:48.000 You'll never make it.

01:00:49.000 You're fucking lying.

01:00:50.000 Wow, look at his smile.

01:00:52.000 Like, talk about a great bullshit detector.

01:00:53.000 He just sees this hair and he sees he's a fat piece of shit and he goes, you don't really follow the stock market.

01:00:58.000 Someone told you that oil is down and it's in a dangerous low or something.

01:01:03.000 You thought, oh, good, I'll use that to fuck with the president at this press conference.

01:01:07.000 Look at this smile develop.

01:01:10.000 I'll look it up for you.

01:01:12.000 Let me do somebody else's question when you're on the press.

01:01:16.000 Now, then there's Biden, the DNC candidate.

01:01:21.000 Now I'm fascinated.

01:01:22.000 I've noticed liberals back when Trump was winning, I'd still, before Trump derangement syndrome really kicked off, like the first week of his presidency, liberals would come to me just perplexed, like, so you're happy about all this?

01:01:35.000 Like, you didn't mind the pussy joke? 1.00

01:01:38.000 And I would have to explain to them that they thought I was like a weird specimen.

01:01:41.000 But I feel that way now about people who support Biden.

01:01:45.000 Like, it doesn't even feel victorious.

01:01:47.000 I'm not like, like with AOC and the goon squad, I'm like, this woman is a fucking terror. 1.00

01:01:52.000 She's really bad news, you fucking dummies.

01:01:54.000 But with Biden, I'm just sort of like, uh, so how you feeling?

01:01:59.000 I mean, you really are stuck with a piece of shit, huh?

01:02:04.000 Like, they can't possibly be for it.

01:02:06.000 By the way, Ryan, I'm looking at your bike.

01:02:08.000 The bike shop is open.

01:02:09.000 You can just walk it over there and get the tower.

01:02:11.000 The tower is fixed.

01:02:14.000 But yeah, you've seen this gaff a million times, but we got to put it up.

01:02:19.000 This is 1-8.

01:02:23.000 Mr. Vice President, experts are saying things are going to get a lot worse in the coming weeks, possibly the next three weeks or so, especially in this state of New York.

01:02:32.000 They say a best case scenario is one where 100 or 200,000 people die in this country.

01:02:39.000 That is astounding to me.

01:02:40.000 In this country?

01:02:41.000 Even say those words.

01:02:43.000 Americans are terrified.

01:02:45.000 What is your message to them?

01:02:48.000 My message is that the president has to move more rapidly.

01:02:51.000 You know, we've known from experience that speed matters.

01:02:55.000 You know that you can't go...

01:02:55.000 Just pause.

01:02:58.000 You hear they said, we've know from experience.

01:03:02.000 Really?

01:03:04.000 You know, we've known from experience that speed matters.

01:03:08.000 We know that you can't go too fast.

01:03:10.000 It's about going too slow.

01:03:12.000 What?

01:03:13.000 Whoa.

01:03:14.000 We know you can't go too fast.

01:03:16.000 It's about going too slow.

01:03:17.000 So you just said we should go faster, but not too fast?

01:03:21.000 Experience that speed matters.

01:03:23.000 We know that you can't go too fast.

01:03:25.000 It's about going too slow.

01:03:27.000 And in order to avoid those very high numbers, we have to do at least several things.

01:03:31.000 One.

01:03:32.000 At least several things.

01:03:33.000 Wait, does that make sense?

01:03:36.000 No.

01:03:37.000 Several.

01:03:38.000 We can't go too fast.

01:03:39.000 Like, it's not possible to go too fast.

01:03:41.000 It's about being too slow.

01:03:43.000 Yeah, that does not make sense.

01:03:44.000 Oh.

01:03:44.000 Okay.

01:03:45.000 And in order to avoid that, those very high numbers, we have to do at least several things.

01:03:50.000 One, we have to depend on what the president's going to do right now.

01:03:55.000 And first of all, he has to tell, wait till the cases before anything happens.

01:04:01.000 Look, the whole idea is Like, I'm not even enjoying this anymore.

01:04:06.000 This isn't fair.

01:04:07.000 This is like playing tennis with a toddler.

01:04:09.000 I don't, am I supposed to, like, I'm not finding this so funny.

01:04:12.000 This sounds like something you would say when you're holding in diarrhea.

01:04:15.000 They're not sending their best.

01:04:17.000 This is not a worthy.

01:04:19.000 This is me being pulled over by a cop when I'm shit-faced.

01:04:23.000 It's not about going.

01:04:25.000 I was driving.

01:04:26.000 I was not trying.

01:04:27.000 Well, it's not about going too slow.

01:04:29.000 I was trying to get home.

01:04:30.000 I turned right on a red and I know you can't do that here.

01:04:33.000 And now I know, and you're great.

01:04:35.000 You have to wait for the cases.

01:04:36.000 Actually, that was much more articulate than MPS.

01:04:39.000 He's got to get in place things that we're shortages of.

01:04:43.000 We're not testing enough people.

01:04:45.000 Our first responders, docs and nurses don't have the gloves, the masks.

01:04:49.000 They don't have the equipment they need.

01:04:51.000 We're short on ventilators.

01:04:53.000 And as this spreads to other areas, which is likely to do, we don't have the capacity to surge the equipment that they need.

01:05:00.000 We have to surge the Defense Production Act much more aggressively, including not just ventilators, but getting gloves, masks, getting mashed gowns, et cetera.

01:05:11.000 So you're saying move more rapidly.

01:05:13.000 What exactly, what are the steps that that takes to happen?

01:05:17.000 What does that look like for you at this very moment?

01:05:21.000 At this very moment, it means the president has to surge more equipment to New York and other places that are clearly in distress.

01:05:30.000 And that means he has to be able to provide for, providing significantly more masks to protect these First Nations. 0.96

01:05:38.000 Significantly no more masks and nurses.

01:05:40.000 He has to provide the gowns so they're not wearing garbage bags to protect themselves.

01:05:44.000 The shields around their faces when they're taking the blood and moving people.

01:05:50.000 The testing, just the mere testing, significantly increased the number of tests available.

01:05:56.000 The president said that a couple weeks ago that every CVC and other, he named four outlets, were going to have testing sites outside of their stores and the various places that they exist, when in fact there's only been four, F-O-U-R, that have been put in place so far.

01:06:14.000 It requires much more rapid response to the needs of the first responders to detect where the people are.

01:06:21.000 We get it.

01:06:22.000 I don't know.

01:06:22.000 We get it.

01:06:23.000 Yeah, that's terrible.

01:06:24.000 Go to unfilteredpolitics on Instagram, because that's not the clip I thought.

01:06:28.000 Do you feel kind of...

01:06:33.000 Like we have adversaries, but one thing that pisses me off is that they're not sending their best.

01:06:40.000 Here, let me see all of them.

01:06:42.000 Part of the top 1%.

01:06:44.000 Keep going down.

01:06:48.000 That's it right there, right?

01:06:49.000 Yeah, that might be it.

01:06:50.000 Yeah, I mean, we gotta transcribe.

01:06:53.000 We've never allowed any crisis from the Civil War straight through to the pandemic of 17, all the way around 16.

01:07:01.000 We have never, never let our democracy second fiddle ways that we can both have a democracy and elections and at the same time correct the public health.

01:07:11.000 The case where we cannot.

01:07:13.000 That's bad.

01:07:14.000 When you write it out like that, that's bad.

01:07:16.000 Yeah.

01:07:17.000 And go back.

01:07:19.000 This is like a top DNC advisor on the pandemic doesn't know how to wear a fucking surgical mask.

01:07:25.000 She's got her nostrils sticking out. 1.00

01:07:27.000 You're getting corona air into those nostrils, you fucking buffoon.

01:07:34.000 Yeah, they're not sending their best.

01:07:36.000 And I don't know, it kind of pisses me off how easily we succumb to these fucking losers.

01:07:44.000 For example, that guy I was talking about the other day.

01:07:50.000 Well, De Blasio is a good example of it, but the guy I was talking about the other day, this Ethiopian communist terrorist, this is 2-0. 0.97

01:07:57.000 I skipped over the de Blasio one.

01:08:00.000 Really good video on Rebel.

01:08:02.000 Make sure you show the title.

01:08:05.000 Make sure you show the title.

01:08:06.000 Yeah, five awful facts about who's Tedros.

01:08:09.000 Okay, pause, pause, pause.

01:08:10.000 So this guy, Tedros ad, you'll find this on Rebel and watch the whole thing.

01:08:14.000 It's really well researched.

01:08:15.000 They got a great young kid there doing an incredible job.

01:08:19.000 But this guy, Tedros, isn't just a fucking buffoon.

01:08:24.000 He's a communist terrorist Ethiopian. 1.00

01:08:27.000 And when you look up his name, for some reason, Ethiopians, when you look them up on Wikipedia, they show their stupid name in their unbelievably archaic language, which is like a cave language. 0.99

01:08:38.000 I used to make fun of Chinese and Arabic because you need a paintbrush to write them. 1.00

01:08:44.000 I think for Ethiopian, you need a rock, a dirty rock to write it. 1.00

01:08:48.000 It's fucking pathetic.

01:08:50.000 Look at this.

01:08:52.000 Oh, wow.

01:08:53.000 Can you show that screen?

01:08:54.000 Look at this shit.

01:08:56.000 What the fuck is that?

01:08:57.000 That's your language?

01:08:58.000 Look at that.

01:09:01.000 Do I have to break a pencil and burn it for 10 minutes in order to use that?

01:09:06.000 Like, it's fucking sub-caveman.

01:09:09.000 The second character looks like a balls and peepee. 0.90

01:09:13.000 That's pretty funny.

01:09:13.000 And like a little monster.

01:09:15.000 And I think this dude is actually a retard. 1.00

01:09:20.000 Can you spell his name by describing each character?

01:09:23.000 Let's see.

01:09:24.000 A sword with a balloon on the end of it, a penis and balls, a small. 0.51

01:09:29.000 He looks like Barack Obama.

01:09:30.000 A penis and balls. 0.96

01:09:32.000 And they have a seed with the growth.

01:09:34.000 So here's the deal.

01:09:35.000 China obviously has a lot of influence in the World Health Organization.

01:09:38.000 They just throw money at problems and they decided, well, we suck and we're probably going to start a plague.

01:09:43.000 So let's get a communist in there.

01:09:46.000 And someone, I guess, said, well, we have a communist in Ethiopia.

01:09:50.000 Okay, but it's the World Health Organization.

01:09:52.000 Is he a doctor?

01:09:53.000 Yes, he's a doctor of philosophy.

01:09:56.000 Oh, well, as long as we can say doctor, what's his past like?

01:09:59.000 Oh, he was a brutal dictator who murdered thousands of his own people, ran a police state that was just rivers of blood and carnage.

01:10:08.000 Okay, but is he communist?

01:10:10.000 Yes.

01:10:11.000 All right, well, maybe no one will bring up the terrorist thing.

01:10:14.000 How is he smarts-wise?

01:10:15.000 He's a retard. 1.00

01:10:17.000 Well, does he know anything?

01:10:18.000 Like, can he answer questions?

01:10:19.000 He's going to be asked questions, obviously, before he becomes the head, the chief of the World Health Organization.

01:10:25.000 He will not be able to answer any questions.

01:10:27.000 He actually won't even be able to understand them.

01:10:30.000 And it still works.

01:10:33.000 Like, we should be concerned that people like Biden and this buffoon are in our orbit.

01:10:39.000 Like, why do they even get to step to us?

01:10:41.000 You know what I mean?

01:10:43.000 Like, if someone, if I'm in the ring, I want to fight someone where I'm tired and scared.

01:10:49.000 They keep putting babies in the ring with us. 0.98

01:10:51.000 That's what pisses me off.

01:10:52.000 And it might be our fault.

01:10:54.000 But go back to this.

01:10:55.000 So this is when he's being appointed.

01:10:57.000 They're deciding whether they should appoint him.

01:10:59.000 Stop, stop, stop.

01:10:59.000 You got to go back a little bit.

01:11:01.000 And this is him being quizzed about how he will perform as the head of the World Health Organization.

01:11:09.000 Thank you very much, Dr. Tedros, for your presentation.

01:11:12.000 You focus on fragile states and hard-to-reach settings, but with very little clarity on the WHO mission in terms of the development agenda.

01:11:22.000 So how can we translate your views in terms of a development candidate?

01:11:30.000 Thank you for your question.

01:11:33.000 I think one of the problems in the developing world is that we're using first world standards on third world countries.

01:11:40.000 Yes, we want to discourage coal energy in places like America, where it's an integral part of the economy, but we can afford to do it.

01:11:53.000 When we start enforcing those same standards on countries in Africa, we hinder them. 0.97

01:11:58.000 And we have places now, we have diseases all over Africa where people are using burning dung as a fuel source, and they're getting sick from it.

01:12:08.000 So I want to have a different set of standards for the third world. 1.00

01:12:11.000 And I think we should allow Africa to have coal energy and let them get on their feet before we inflict what some would say are draconian environmental laws. 1.00

01:12:20.000 And I think that will really help Africa and the rest of the developing world develop faster and catch up faster and close the gap.

01:12:27.000 That's my answer, sir.

01:12:28.000 Let's see how Tedros handles it.

01:12:35.000 Sorry, but the question is not clear.

01:12:36.000 Can you clarify, if I may ask?

01:12:39.000 Sorry.

01:12:39.000 Could you write it with a burnt rock, please?

01:12:42.000 How can you better explain your claim of being a candidate from the South, a development agenda candidate?

01:12:53.000 Will you say the President's candidate linking it to sustainable development goals?

01:13:03.000 I would like to ask you, which technical cooperation areas do you regard?

01:13:06.000 I think they just abandoned that question entirely.

01:13:08.000 Because he's already, China's already made him the chief.

01:13:12.000 But this is just they have to go through the motion.

01:13:13.000 It would be nice to have our so-called pet topics of the member states in which the WHO is currently active, and you see the least value added in the organization's action.

01:13:25.000 Thank you.

01:13:27.000 Okay, let's wait, go back.

01:13:28.000 could not fucking now I'm turning into Tedros in which CW2 is going to go back more you say that you say Candidate linking it to sustainable development goals.

01:13:44.000 I would like to ask you which technical cooperation areas do you regard being the nice to have or so-called the pet topics of the member states in which the WHO is currently active and you see the least value added in the organization action.

01:13:59.000 Thank you.

01:14:00.000 Nothing.

01:14:01.000 Okay, I think he's saying what departments are the most valuable going forward and what are the least valuable.

01:14:07.000 And I'm sorry to repeat myself, but I think with the developing world, we need to focus on energy.

01:14:12.000 You can't create things if you don't have electricity.

01:14:14.000 You can't have an economy if you don't have air conditioning.

01:14:18.000 We need to have a real push for energy in these countries.

01:14:22.000 And again, sorry to repeat myself, but if you're asking about the least important elements of the WHO, I would say enforcing first world laws.

01:14:31.000 I'm sorry to repeat myself, but you keep asking the same questions.

01:14:34.000 Let's see what Tedros does.

01:14:38.000 Maybe if you can repeat, not clear or if you can.

01:14:42.000 During times of crisis, the mainstream media will be the first to wave their arms and scream at you.

01:14:47.000 Wow.

01:14:49.000 And speaking of shitty socialists.

01:14:51.000 Wait, is there more on him?

01:14:53.000 What's 22?

01:14:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:14:54.000 I think they're calling for him to resign.

01:14:56.000 But it took a pandemic for us to discover this fucking clown, this communist terrorist.

01:15:04.000 And I think I've said this before, but the one thing I've learned about this pandemic is that I should have had more focus on this show on communism and maybe less focus on radical Islam.

01:15:17.000 Communism is clearly a much bigger threat.

01:15:19.000 And, you know, we do have Ilhan Omar in our government, but we also have a lot of fucking socialists.

01:15:28.000 World Health Organization ignored Taiwan's coronavirus warnings to cover for China.

01:15:33.000 It costs lives.

01:15:34.000 Did he even know?

01:15:36.000 Maybe that's why they chose him, because he's so fucking stupid that he's just like a little puppet.

01:15:45.000 And speaking of socialists, de Blasio, this is, I think, before the coronavirus got big.

01:15:50.000 This is 19.

01:15:52.000 De Blasio, I got to do an interview soon for, what's that guy's name?

01:15:57.000 Slightly offensive.

01:15:58.000 Just pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause.

01:16:09.000 Look at her.

01:16:10.000 How much fucking food does she consume? 1.00

01:16:13.000 How much fried chicken?

01:16:14.000 How much electricity does it take to keep this bloated pig fed? 1.00

01:16:18.000 She's the head of the DFP.

01:16:21.000 That was another great line.

01:16:22.000 Remember I told you about it in the Louis C.K. video?

01:16:24.000 He goes, what if God comes and he goes, you're not fucking these animals?

01:16:27.000 They're to fuck.

01:16:28.000 You eat them?

01:16:29.000 That's disgusting.

01:16:30.000 Why would you eat a perfectly fuckable pig? 0.97

01:16:36.000 But you have these guys going up and down the escalator with worst mayor ever.

01:16:39.000 So I don't want you to get distracted by them.

01:16:41.000 They're obviously wonderful.

01:16:42.000 And you'll notice, by the way, when socialists come, they all have the same beautifully made Kinko signs.

01:16:48.000 And when movements are authentically grassroots, you can tell the signs are handmade.

01:16:52.000 Like when they protested my talk, every sign was gorgeous.

01:16:56.000 It looked like it was done by a design firm because it was.

01:17:00.000 But listen to what this silly cow has to say. 0.94

01:17:02.000 A family friend, they found his body three days later.

01:17:05.000 Included lost a family friend.

01:17:08.000 They found his body three days later after the storm Maria hit.

01:17:12.000 *Gunshot*

01:17:14.000 They were flooded out.

01:17:16.000 They lost everything, including their homes.

01:17:19.000 New York City will not survive without a racial, a radical action to stop climate change. 0.75

01:17:25.000 Are you following any of this?

01:17:27.000 She's talking about Hurricane Sandy, and she's saying that was caused by our pollution or whatever.

01:17:33.000 And the lack of recycling, not having a green enough economy.

01:17:37.000 That's why the hurricane hit us because hurricanes didn't happen before we started pollution.

01:17:43.000 Hurricanes are a brand new thing.

01:17:45.000 And then she's pointing out that someone died during it.

01:17:47.000 So her contention is that lack of attention given to green concepts is killing people.

01:17:55.000 These storms are going to get far worse if the world doesn't act.

01:18:01.000 New York City will drown as sea level rises.

01:18:07.000 New York City will drowns as sea level rises.

01:18:10.000 This is what I'm screaming about.

01:18:12.000 All of this shit.

01:18:14.000 They're not sending their best.

01:18:16.000 Like those reporters that go to attack Trump, you're talking about the price of oil and you have no idea what it is.

01:18:23.000 We have communist terrorists running the World Health Organization.

01:18:27.000 So a Chinese puppet is running the world's health. 1.00

01:18:32.000 And then you have this disgusting, useless pig saying, New York City drowns as ocean levels rise.

01:18:39.000 That's Elad.

01:18:44.000 Oh, that's Elad.

01:18:45.000 Yes.

01:18:47.000 As our city drowns, it will be baking under heat waves like what we see.

01:18:54.000 Now you might think I've given up hope.

01:18:58.000 It is not the case at all.

01:19:01.000 No, I've been fighting back activism.

01:19:05.000 We can still turn around and create good union jobs while doing that.

01:19:11.000 And I am so proud and happy to be standing here today.

01:19:15.000 And that's because what a pile of shit.

01:19:18.000 What a bunch of fucking losers.

01:19:21.000 Should we get to mail?

01:19:23.000 We shall get to mail.

01:19:25.000 We have to.

01:19:29.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a death.

01:19:34.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:19:40.000 Let me touch it.

01:19:44.000 This is from Lucian.

01:19:46.000 He's in Texas.

01:19:48.000 Gav, I've read everything there is on the JFK assassination, and I'm not sure what Roger Stone is talking about, but there's a lot of horse manure there.

01:19:56.000 I don't really want to get into it because we can go on and on, but here are a few things.

01:19:59.000 First of all, Leo Harvey Oswald shot the president from the sixth floor of the school book depository with an Italian carcino that he ordered through the mail.

01:20:06.000 He didn't hide the rifle.

01:20:07.000 He just left it there.

01:20:08.000 There were three black janitors or workmen or some sort on the fifth floor directly below.

01:20:13.000 They heard the brass hit the floor.

01:20:15.000 They heard the action cycle.

01:20:16.000 That's how close they were.

01:20:18.000 He wasn't eating lunch.

01:20:19.000 He bailed out immediately.

01:20:21.000 Well, isn't there a picture of him eating lunch?

01:20:23.000 There's no picture, but there was the staircase.

01:20:27.000 There was a power outage at the time, apparently, and there was a woman on the staircase that didn't hear or see him.

01:20:32.000 Furthermore, an entire neighborhood watched him shoot J.D. Tippett.

01:20:36.000 I've also been to the grassy knoll.

01:20:38.000 It's fairly small.

01:20:39.000 There were hundreds of people standing around.

01:20:41.000 If someone else had fired a weapon, even a silence one, everyone would have noticed.

01:20:45.000 Nobody reacts that way on the Zapruder film.

01:20:48.000 I hate to be a wet blanket because I know this is a sacred cow for everybody, but people just want to believe, man.

01:20:55.000 The fact is, all the little conspiracies can be debunked, but nobody wants to hear it.

01:21:00.000 I'm telling you, I've spent hours reading everything there is to read about this case.

01:21:04.000 Hours, days, weeks.

01:21:06.000 Stone is just telling another version like everyone has their 9-11 version.

01:21:09.000 Don't get me wrong, there are some anomalies and such, but that would be the case if you microanalyzed any major event.

01:21:15.000 There was no magic bullet.

01:21:17.000 There wasn't somebody in the gutter with a gun for Christ's sakes.

01:21:20.000 There was no crossfire.

01:21:21.000 LHO blew his goddamn brains out from that window.

01:21:24.000 The end.

01:21:25.000 Let's fuck to a slow song.

01:21:28.000 Interesting.

01:21:29.000 Always good to get another take.

01:21:31.000 N. Snuffy, this guy's name is.

01:21:34.000 I don't out names, but if they're a joke name, I don't think I'm threatening anyone.

01:21:37.000 You ever wonder why Jordan Peterson just suddenly disappeared?

01:21:41.000 Sure, the official story is that he got hooked on pain meds, tried some experimental cure, and hurt himself, but where the fuck is he?

01:21:46.000 We all know his daughter's into some weird all-meat diet. 0.99

01:21:49.000 I think she ate him.

01:21:51.000 Love the show.

01:21:52.000 Thanks for doing that, Amy, on that shitty Discord.

01:21:54.000 It was fun.

01:21:55.000 Terrible theory.

01:21:59.000 It's from Max.

01:22:00.000 Hey, Faggots, Saskatoon listener here. 1.00

01:22:03.000 Gavin, have you ever looked into the Society of St. Pius X?

01:22:07.000 And if so, what do you think of them?

01:22:09.000 Did you know that Torinana lips on a homosexual is one of the Otis Simbos? 1.00

01:22:13.000 I'll look into that, I guess.

01:22:15.000 It's one of the Otis Simbos. 1.00

01:22:18.000 You know, do we feel sympathy or anger when we see these retards like Otis Simbos and Joe Biden? 1.00

01:22:28.000 I think it varies.

01:22:30.000 When I see Joe Biden, I don't feel anger because I know he's going to lose in a landslide.

01:22:35.000 And I just feel like the DNC can see how shitty they are.

01:22:39.000 Did my hand get cut off there?

01:22:41.000 No.

01:22:41.000 So he's actually very an educational tool.

01:22:45.000 Like my kids, they're not right or left, obviously.

01:22:47.000 But last they were saying, so who's Gagaz, with the Ho-Chunk word for grandma?

01:22:52.000 Who's Gaga going to vote for? 1.00

01:22:54.000 And she goes, well, she always votes Democrat. 0.98

01:22:55.000 She's stuck with this guy, Biden.

01:22:57.000 Why is he suck?

01:22:58.000 And I just played the clip we just showed.

01:23:01.000 I just played that and I go, this is how he talks.

01:23:04.000 So he's self-explanatory.

01:23:06.000 But the WHO guy, like I had to kind of dig to get that rebel video.

01:23:12.000 So that pisses me off.

01:23:14.000 And then De Blasio pisses me off too because he ruined New York City.

01:23:19.000 But that big fat clown talking about New York underwater, I saw her as educational. 0.99

01:23:24.000 So it's funny.

01:23:25.000 It depends on the case.

01:23:26.000 It depends on how effective they are.

01:23:30.000 This is one of the oldest symbols.

01:23:32.000 Like with that one, I feel like everyone in that room was laughing.

01:23:35.000 They were.

01:23:35.000 So I feel bad.

01:23:37.000 He's like Joe Biden.

01:23:40.000 It's two separate categories.

01:23:42.000 Dear Lone Ranger and Tonto.

01:23:44.000 Brian Rose would be a great guest, as would David Ick.

01:23:48.000 David Ike.

01:23:49.000 David Icke.

01:23:50.000 Isn't he a Holocaust denier?

01:23:52.000 I don't know.

01:23:54.000 I don't know who this is.

01:23:57.000 I mean, a lot of people, even when we have a cure for the coronavirus, maybe, they're not going to be going out to eat as often.

01:24:02.000 Wait, what the?

01:24:03.000 Yeah, I've announced that.

01:24:04.000 Is this an ad?

01:24:07.000 There's a lot of small retailers that were just barely hanging on.

01:24:10.000 Can I not skip around this?

01:24:11.000 That's weird.

01:24:13.000 I can't skip around.

01:24:14.000 This is from Justin.

01:24:15.000 What's up, Gav?

01:24:16.000 Just want to say Ryan's video drops really make the show really make the show.

01:24:20.000 My fiancé doesn't really watch GML, but she's usually listening in the background while I'm watching in the mornings before work.

01:24:25.000 The other day, she reminded me that it was our two-year anniversary, and I said, wow, two years already?

01:24:28.000 To which she replied, time flies when you're having sex and getting good at it, if you will.

01:24:34.000 It was hilarious.

01:24:34.000 Love the show.

01:24:35.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on. 1.00

01:24:38.000 And being good at it, if you will.

01:24:41.000 Hey, Gaster, I was going through the archive show and I stumbled across Ryan correcting you for something that didn't warrant correcting whatsoever.

01:24:48.000 In this clip from June 2019, you said you had said, I want to talk now to homeless me about Nazi graffiti.

01:24:57.000 And Ryan, for some reason, thought you said homeless graffiti, imbecilic oblivion.

01:25:02.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:25:03.000 Do you have that one?

01:25:04.000 I do.

01:25:06.000 This will be typical.

01:25:07.000 I'm trying to not show the email with it, but we might have to.

01:25:13.000 Oh, you're going to pull it up?

01:25:16.000 Let me try to zoom in.

01:25:17.000 We're going to see his email.

01:25:18.000 No, we're good.

01:25:21.000 So those are my three neutron bombs.

01:25:24.000 I want to talk now to Homeless Me about Nazi graffiti and how I don't believe you that you've invented a magic thing.

01:25:34.000 This guy is running.

01:25:35.000 I'm sorry, you said homeless graffiti?

01:25:37.000 Nazi graffiti.

01:25:38.000 Nazi graffiti.

01:25:39.000 Sorry.

01:25:41.000 I like that you believed that, though.

01:25:44.000 That was not intentional.

01:25:45.000 I didn't mean that.

01:25:46.000 Well, when you say things with authority, you just go, wow, this guy must know what he's talking about.

01:25:52.000 You didn't trump me.

01:25:53.000 You didn't say.

01:25:53.000 What are the oil prices?

01:25:55.000 Yeah.

01:25:56.000 How did I say homeless graffiti?

01:25:57.000 So what did I say before?

01:25:58.000 I just repeated myself.

01:26:00.000 You're done.

01:26:01.000 Next.

01:26:02.000 This is from John.

01:26:04.000 Interesting article from Windsor, Ontario.

01:26:05.000 In the middle of our quarantining, some dudes decide to have a machete fight in front of an oil change place.

01:26:10.000 Another dude ended it with a pickup truck.

01:26:12.000 There's a video.

01:26:13.000 He doesn't include it, by the way.

01:26:15.000 But then he sent another one.

01:26:16.000 Pickup truck interrupts machete fight.

01:26:18.000 And then he pulls it up.

01:26:19.000 I hate machete fights.

01:26:21.000 They're so hard to watch because you see machetes, like even a baseball bat, it has to connect really well before it does permanent damage.

01:26:29.000 Everyone's seen this video a million times.

01:26:30.000 Why are you sending me viral videos?

01:26:31.000 Those are top spots.

01:26:33.000 With a machete, like you block it and it's still going to go right through.

01:26:37.000 You get it in the head.

01:26:38.000 You're going to be bleeding everywhere.

01:26:39.000 I don't understand how machete fights exist.

01:26:42.000 Like, how do they not last one second?

01:26:45.000 You get me here.

01:26:46.000 I'm gone.

01:26:48.000 You hit me like this.

01:26:49.000 I go to block it.

01:26:50.000 I'm bleeding like a stuck pig now.

01:26:52.000 There's a video I can't get out of my head where in Brazil, exactly that happened.

01:26:55.000 the guy's arm's gone, and he jumps on a moped on the way to the hospital, but you're just...

01:26:58.000 You're toast.

01:26:59.000 I just felt so...

01:27:02.000 I don't want to pick it up, but it was in Brazil.

01:27:05.000 Some guy broke into a dude's house and the dude was like a samurai ninja sword dude.

01:27:11.000 And he was just like, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.

01:27:12.000 And the guy's lying on a gurney going, and he has these fucking giant slices all over him.

01:27:21.000 And he's going, he couldn't have survived.

01:27:25.000 That sucks.

01:27:26.000 Yeah.

01:27:27.000 The two worst things as far as fight videos are anything with a machete and seeing someone get kicked in the head when they're unconscious.

01:27:35.000 Yeah.

01:27:37.000 Gentlemen, two of my beta male friends have both lost their spices to women due to their lack of traditional male attributes. 0.98

01:27:42.000 Two of my beta male friends have both lost their spouses to women due to their lack of... 0.98

01:27:55.000 Do you mean two of my friends got divorced because they were pussies? 1.00

01:27:59.000 That I can understand.

01:28:01.000 Two of my beta male friends have both lost their spouses, gotcha, to women. 1.00

01:28:08.000 So the women became lesbians due to their lack of traditional male attributes. 1.00

01:28:12.000 They love Marvel Comics video games and still build Lego sets.

01:28:17.000 Is it possible to make fun of them until they convert from tall toddlers to strapping lads?

01:28:23.000 Yeah, of course it's possible, but will it work is the million dollar question.

01:28:27.000 There's so much support for all these fucking pussies, but I would relentlessly make fun of them until they didn't want to hang out with you anymore. 1.00

01:28:36.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:28:37.000 I was watching a documentary called Rainman Twins about these lady twins who are autistic savants, and it's pretty fascinating and worth a watch, I guess.

01:28:43.000 But what I mostly took away from it was that at about 48 seconds in, you guys get it mentioned.

01:28:49.000 I attached the clip.

01:28:50.000 Enjoy it.

01:28:51.000 This will be our last letter.

01:28:52.000 They are retarded, and in some ways, they're geniuses. 0.93

01:28:57.000 Well, that's a video drop right there.

01:28:59.000 Thank you for adding to our video drop list.

01:29:02.000 Yes, that will be saved.

01:29:03.000 All right.

01:29:04.000 So let's jump to the end here.

01:29:09.000 Oh, I want to see this.

01:29:10.000 Check out this cop that got attacked in the Bronx yesterday.

01:29:12.000 This is exactly what I was talking about in the NYPD Lives Matter video.

01:29:18.000 We instill in these young black and Hispanic kids the lie that cops are just fucking with them for no reason, that that person was just like eating a hoagie and the cops ran up and beat the shit out of him. 0.97

01:29:30.000 And he said, I have my hands up.

01:29:32.000 Don't shoot.

01:29:32.000 And they were just bullying him.

01:29:34.000 So these kids want revenge.

01:29:36.000 I would too, if I had been convinced that cops are just hunting guys with mustaches for sport.

01:29:42.000 I'd be fucking pissed.

01:29:44.000 I had to shave my mustache.

01:29:45.000 You media, you did this.

01:29:50.000 You got to zoom it out a bit, dude.

01:29:52.000 That's as much as all right.

01:29:54.000 Let's watch it.

01:29:55.000 I'm recording this shit.

01:29:56.000 You see him getting psyched.

01:30:00.000 What a pussy, too. 1.00

01:30:01.000 There's this sucker punch thing.

01:30:02.000 Yo, yo! 1.00

01:30:08.000 What the fuck?

01:30:10.000 Why didn't you chase him?

01:30:11.000 Look how he runs, too.

01:30:13.000 I guess because his pants are so low.

01:30:15.000 Get him.

01:30:18.000 Get the fucker. 1.00

01:30:20.000 Get fired.

01:30:20.000 Get in trouble.

01:30:21.000 Be brave.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 08, 2020

S02E148 - CELEBRITIES SUCK [2020-04-08 - S02E148 - CELEBRITIES SUCK]

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