Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E163 - HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS [2020-05-13 - S02E163 - HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS]

00:00:05.000 Take me home tonight.

00:00:07.000 Oh, down beside that red firelight.

00:00:13.000 Live from New York.

00:00:15.000 Get off my lawn with Kevin McKinnon.

00:00:19.000 To make the rockin'world go round.

00:00:24.000 Hey! 0.99

00:00:27.000 I was just a skin lad.

00:00:35.000 Sorry to get you all pumped with that gem and then take it away from you.

00:00:38.000 That was mean.

00:00:39.000 I'm a mean guy.

00:00:41.000 Well, I made that very clear here.

00:00:42.000 Ain't no nice guy.

00:00:46.000 Lot going on today, folks.

00:00:48.000 We got a lot to show you.

00:00:49.000 I want to dive deep on these pickup artists I've become obsessed with.

00:00:54.000 But before we get to that excruciatingly long video, let's just catch up on the news.

00:01:00.000 I'm a little late today.

00:01:01.000 Ryan had to take the train and I didn't drive him because I took my motorcycle because a friend of mine died.

00:01:07.000 I didn't know him very well, but he was a guy at my gym.

00:01:10.000 I thought he was like 26, but he apparently has a 13-year-old son.

00:01:14.000 And he lost control on his motorbike, motorcycle, smashed into a parked car.

00:01:21.000 I think if you're on a motorcycle and you kind of lose control and do a rev, you can really get going.

00:01:27.000 I mean, you can sort of cannonball yourself, shoot yourself forward at 50 miles an hour overnight.

00:01:32.000 And then you hit the truck.

00:01:34.000 You hit a parked truck and just lights out instantly.

00:01:37.000 Crushed.

00:01:38.000 Brain bleed.

00:01:39.000 He's got a...

00:01:42.000 I sent you the article about it.

00:01:44.000 I didn't know his name was Jesus.

00:01:47.000 I know him as Alex Guatires.

00:01:50.000 But his real name is Jesus Alessandro Guatierez, I guess.

00:01:56.000 Oh, they don't have his name there.

00:01:59.000 Cutierz, probably, right? 0.94

00:02:01.000 Yeah.

00:02:02.000 I've never been to a Mexican funeral before, and I've never been to a pandemic funeral before.

00:02:07.000 So we all just talked on the lawn, and it was his different sort of groups.

00:02:10.000 There was his Mexican family.

00:02:12.000 Look, they already raised the 15 grand.

00:02:14.000 Nice.

00:02:15.000 There was the Mexican family, and then there was the people boxing, his boxing world, and then, you know, his, I guess, workplace.

00:02:24.000 He owned a Mexican restaurant in New Rochelle. 0.99

00:02:27.000 Fucking the dead with a 13-year-old kid. 1.00

00:02:31.000 Pretty. 1.00

00:02:32.000 But so it was weird.

00:02:35.000 I recorded, but I felt kind of bad on my motorcycle because he died on a motorcycle.

00:02:39.000 Is that like that Bill Hicks has a bit about when Jesus comes back and he sees a cross around people's necks, he's going to be traumatized.

00:02:46.000 But it's weird being at a funeral where a guy named Jesus died because it says RIP Jesus all over the cars.

00:02:52.000 You want to play that?

00:02:58.000 One of the crows had a sombrero.

00:03:05.000 It's weird too because some of the, like the boxing people, my coach was just wearing an undershirt with paint on it because he's painting his house.

00:03:13.000 But some of the Mexican women were wearing stilettos. 1.00

00:03:16.000 And you feel blasphemous being attracted to someone at a funeral.

00:03:20.000 So you have to sort of look away.

00:03:21.000 I wish they'd wear burkas. 1.00

00:03:23.000 I don't want to think about such things.

00:03:27.000 But yeah.

00:03:28.000 So what we did was we can't have a funeral or awake.

00:03:31.000 So we just made a convoy of cars.

00:03:33.000 They had balloons and stuff.

00:03:35.000 And we just drove down Main Street.

00:03:36.000 But it was a procession of maybe 50 cars.

00:03:41.000 So when we got to a traffic light, the snake got separated.

00:03:45.000 And then I made sure I was last because there was me and this other guy from the gym who was on his bicycle.

00:03:50.000 We didn't want to, I mean, I probably knew him the least out of everyone there.

00:03:55.000 So I made sure I was at the back, but sorry, I lost you.

00:03:58.000 You become irrevocably separated unless someone pulls over.

00:04:02.000 And I didn't get the route.

00:04:04.000 And even if I did have the route, there were so many traffic lights ahead of me that it was pointless.

00:04:08.000 So then I'm like, well, I'm just going to go to Manhattan and go to work.

00:04:12.000 And then there's these Mexican girls behind me. 1.00

00:04:14.000 And I'm thinking, wait a minute, are they following me?

00:04:16.000 Because when I veer off and go on the highway, they might end up following me to the studio.

00:04:25.000 How old was he?

00:04:26.000 God, he must have had that 13-year-old young.

00:04:29.000 Unbelievable guy.

00:04:31.000 So friendly.

00:04:31.000 Awesome dude.

00:04:32.000 Great boxer.

00:04:33.000 Really fast.

00:04:34.000 He always was there early.

00:04:35.000 I think he'd start his day there. 0.99

00:04:37.000 And he'd do weird shit too. 0.99

00:04:39.000 Like some guy at the gym, he just brought him a birthday present. 0.99

00:04:43.000 Or the coach, he bought him sneakers for Christmas.

00:04:47.000 Coach is like, oh, thanks.

00:04:48.000 No one's ever done this before.

00:04:51.000 Anyway, so that's a sad day, but that's enough of that.

00:04:55.000 You move on.

00:04:56.000 Front page of the Mets.

00:04:57.000 I mean, front page of the Post has the Mets.

00:04:59.000 I feel like the Post slightly prefers the Mets to the Yankees.

00:05:02.000 It's something I feel. 0.97

00:05:04.000 I apologize, by the way, about my nipples. 0.89

00:05:06.000 They're very hard today. 0.99

00:05:09.000 Criminals, recidivist criminals let out on the streets. 0.51

00:05:12.000 Proudboys, of course, can't leave, but these guys are just getting released and arrested and released and arrested.

00:05:17.000 But more importantly, look how hot Dakota Johnson is in the new issue of Mary Claire. 1.00

00:05:24.000 It kind of makes me think, kind of got me thinking a lot about tights.

00:05:32.000 Women in tights, the texture when you feel their thighs. 1.00

00:05:36.000 Their depression is beautiful.

00:05:37.000 Oh, yeah, it is beautiful. 0.95

00:05:40.000 You're a smoke show.

00:05:42.000 I love tights, especially, obviously brown nylons are a write-off.

00:05:47.000 We will accept them under no circumstances at all.

00:05:50.000 Your body's in a plastic bag. 1.00

00:05:51.000 It's disgusting. 0.77

00:05:52.000 But like orange tights or in the winter where they're sort of blue and woolly?

00:06:01.000 Blue and woolly.

00:06:02.000 When is this just me talking about fun stuff and hot chicks? 0.99

00:06:06.000 And when is it a disgusting pervert lurking? 0.97

00:06:11.000 When does it go to pick up artist territory? 0.98

00:06:13.000 Yeah, pickup artists.

00:06:16.000 All right. 0.97

00:06:17.000 So the reason I played that song, Fat Bottom Girls, I thought Freddie Mercury wrote that song and I thought it was funny to hear a gay talk about how hot big fat chicks are. 1.00

00:06:26.000 By the way, if I say that you have a nice butt, You should be insulted because I cannot lie, I like big butts. 1.00

00:06:34.000 So, if I say you have a nice butt, I mean you have a big butt. 1.00

00:06:36.000 So, you should be pissed off if a pig likes me, likes your ass. 1.00

00:06:40.000 But this was written by Brian May. 1.00

00:06:43.000 It's a great jam, and I feel passionate about it.

00:06:46.000 But the reason we played it is because we have some bad news. 0.76

00:06:52.000 Brian May hurt his butt, and the pain is relentless. 0.97

00:06:59.000 I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he tore his buttocks while gardening. 1.00

00:07:05.000 The man who loves fat bottom girls has an incredibly fragile butt. 0.99

00:07:12.000 And here he says, reality check for me. 0.99

00:07:14.000 No, the virus didn't get me yet.

00:07:15.000 Thank God.

00:07:15.000 Hope you're all keeping extra safe out there.

00:07:18.000 As well as getting overstretched and harassed by too many demands.

00:07:23.000 Oh, my.

00:07:25.000 I managed to rip my gluteus maximus to shreds.

00:07:30.000 What?

00:07:32.000 In a moment of overenthusiastic gardening.

00:07:38.000 I don't understand. 1.00

00:07:39.000 How do you rip your ass to shreds? 1.00

00:07:42.000 Isn't that a gay sex thing? 1.00

00:07:44.000 The butt cheeks? 1.00

00:07:45.000 You don't really use your butt cheeks when you're gardening, do you?

00:07:49.000 So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I've actually damaged myself.

00:07:54.000 Turns out I did a thorough job.

00:07:56.000 This is a couple of days ago, and I won't be able to walk for a while or sleep without a lot of assistance because the pain is relentless.

00:08:04.000 I don't like the butt cheek.

00:08:06.000 Who knew that a butt cheek fan, and I think Brian May and I are in the exact same boat as far as our taste for butts, but who knew that the butt cheek guy had such delicate buttocks? 1.00

00:08:19.000 He shredded them. 0.88

00:08:21.000 They're a mere shadow of their former self. 0.95

00:08:25.000 I mean, I'm tensing my buttocks right now.

00:08:28.000 It doesn't feel like a familiar muscle.

00:08:30.000 You go like this and you're like, oh yeah, I used that when I was playing frisbee with the kids. 0.99

00:08:34.000 But this one, when did you lose your butt? 1.00

00:08:37.000 When do you use your butt? 1.00

00:08:38.000 Maybe he heard it on his bicycle, bicycle. 1.00

00:08:43.000 Queen joke. 1.00

00:08:44.000 That was the shittiest, stupidest fucking joke I've ever heard. 1.00

00:08:47.000 And he already admitted he did it at gardening. 1.00

00:08:49.000 Yeah, that's why I said I thought. 1.00

00:08:51.000 Holy fuck, you make me mad. 1.00

00:08:55.000 Also in the news, do you remember Amy Siskind? 1.00

00:08:58.000 She's one of the worst people alive. 1.00

00:09:00.000 I think I might have this. 0.99

00:09:02.000 Remember where she attacked that loser, David Pachman? 0.99

00:09:05.000 So a long time ago, she said, if you're white or you're male, do not run for office. 1.00

00:09:14.000 Step aside.

00:09:15.000 It's a woman's turn. 0.99

00:09:16.000 And then David Pachman noticed, well, that's kind of shitty. 0.99

00:09:22.000 That's kind of racist and sexist, isn't it? 0.99

00:09:25.000 So then she called his school and demanded he be fired.

00:09:30.000 Right?

00:09:34.000 Yeah.

00:09:36.000 But I found a text or a post where she said, I'm calling.

00:09:41.000 I just called your school.

00:09:42.000 I'm going to get you fired. 1.00

00:09:45.000 So let me see what you put up there. 1.00

00:09:50.000 Yeah.

00:09:50.000 So then he brought it up later and she said, how dare you?

00:09:54.000 That's a lie.

00:09:57.000 I would never do such a thing.

00:09:59.000 And so I don't have it here.

00:10:01.000 Oh, here we go.

00:10:02.000 Okay.

00:10:03.000 Yesterday on the program, I called out Amy Siskind, a self-described feminist activist, because she tweeted a couple days ago that we should not vote for, that she will not vote for any white or male candidates.

00:10:17.000 Anyway, it's just retelling a story.

00:10:19.000 We don't need to find the exact tweet.

00:10:21.000 But she had a Facebook post where she said, I'm going to get you fired. 1.00

00:10:23.000 He brought it up like a year later.

00:10:25.000 And then she said, how dare you?

00:10:26.000 I'm going to sue you for saying such lies.

00:10:28.000 I would never do such a thing.

00:10:30.000 And he's like, here's the Facebook post where you said you're going to do exactly that.

00:10:34.000 I put it on my Telegram.

00:10:36.000 Now it's bugging me.

00:10:37.000 Anyway, so this is her latest stroke of genius.

00:10:40.000 And by the way, she's on my radar because she said, I've just found out Gavin McInnes lives in our community.

00:10:46.000 We should have a vigil at the temple or near my house or something to protest hate.

00:10:52.000 And this was like days after the synagogue shooting.

00:10:55.000 So I brought my family to her home and stood at the back as my wife said, we need to talk, Amy.

00:11:00.000 And she had my youngest son in her arms at the time, and Amy called the police.

00:11:05.000 What was I doing that was illegal?

00:11:09.000 Anyway, check out this tweet she just put up. 1.00

00:11:12.000 Rand Paul just tried to play a doctor on TV and Dr. Fauci is schooling him and exposing him as the fool he is. 0.98

00:11:21.000 She doesn't know that Rand Paul is an ophthalmologist. 0.99

00:11:26.000 And by the way, he had COVID.

00:11:29.000 Ophthalmologists, that's the guys who operate on eyeballs. 0.99

00:11:32.000 I mean, outside of neurosurgeon, I think that's the hardest shit you can do. 0.99

00:11:36.000 But he got COVID and then thought, Jesus, this is rough. 0.99

00:11:41.000 These people need help.

00:11:42.000 So he went back.

00:11:44.000 He's a practicing physician.

00:11:45.000 He went back to work, put on his scrubs and said, I'll help out for a while.

00:11:48.000 They don't need me at the House, the House of Representatives.

00:11:54.000 And Dr. Fauci, by the way, hasn't practiced medicine in about 30 years.

00:11:58.000 And I don't like him anymore.

00:12:01.000 Tucker brought this up.

00:12:02.000 He said, the thing about these doctors is they give these models, and I'm sorry to talk about Corona, but I'll drop it soon.

00:12:07.000 But the models are just based on academic and science.

00:12:12.000 And they say, oh, the virus could do this and it would kill this many people.

00:12:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:16.000 Your model doesn't include suicide, unemployment, poverty, businesses being irrevocably destroyed, you know, alcoholism, divorce, all kinds of other factors that might not obviously kill us in a medical way.

00:12:31.000 So I'm done.

00:12:33.000 My kids were playing the other day, but they had to be monitored.

00:12:36.000 They were playing baseball and they had to be six feet apart, but at least my son was able to see his friends for once. 0.99

00:12:40.000 That's the worst part right now is I just want my fucking kids to be able to play. 0.98

00:12:46.000 Here's a story I've been meaning to get to for a while. 0.99

00:12:49.000 Dave Rubin stole his book of ideas, Don't Burn This Book, is completely uncontroversial.

00:12:56.000 If you're going to make a book, it should have some controversy in it, like Women maybe aren't designed to be scientists for the most part. 1.00

00:13:03.000 Or blacks commit crime more than whites because welfare took away their fathers and they don't have discipline at home. 0.85

00:13:11.000 Those are controversial things to say. 0.98

00:13:12.000 We should abolish school and kids can homeschool from 9 to 12 and then play all day.

00:13:19.000 Those are controversial opinions I have.

00:13:22.000 95% of women would be happier at home, more fulfilled, and the society would be a better place. 0.98

00:13:26.000 Close the borders to manufacturing, build as much stuff here as we possibly can, all that kind of stuff.

00:13:32.000 His ideas are like, be kind to people.

00:13:35.000 We need to be slightly stricter about immigration and stop with illegal immigration. 0.99

00:13:39.000 We need an open dialogue.

00:13:41.000 Ooh, they've spooked me.

00:13:44.000 But anyway, he did an interview with Bridget Fatassi, who if I was single, I think she'd be at the top of my list.

00:13:51.000 She's intelligent and sexual. 0.86

00:13:54.000 She did a sex column for Playboy, and she's recently read Pilled, which is my favorite kind of chick. 0.99

00:13:59.000 But you can show the article anytime you'd like, Ryan.

00:14:03.000 I'm writing my book too.

00:14:05.000 So he's talking to Bridget Fatassi at her show.

00:14:08.000 I had her on my show too. 0.93

00:14:09.000 She's on this website if you look at the CRTV archives.

00:14:11.000 And she says, she was born with factory settings.

00:14:16.000 And you can scroll down.

00:14:17.000 And what she's talking about is like America's racist.

00:14:21.000 We was built on slavery, stolen from the Indians, all these sort of normie views we all have when we're 15, 16, 17. 0.95

00:14:28.000 Because the teacher's brainwashes.

00:14:30.000 And then in the interview, she goes, I joke that, and everyone's like, and I don't buy the shtick that you don't know anything.

00:14:35.000 But I really didn't know anything.

00:14:36.000 Unlike you, I didn't come from a poli-sci background.

00:14:38.000 I didn't have an ideology.

00:14:40.000 I call them fact in the book I'm writing.

00:14:42.000 It's called factory settings.

00:14:44.000 I was born into a democratic liberal home.

00:14:46.000 So I love that.

00:14:49.000 I never questioned anything.

00:14:50.000 And then I was high and drunk until I was 35 years old.

00:14:53.000 I love that you're calling it that.

00:14:55.000 I love that.

00:14:56.000 Factory settings.

00:14:58.000 Because it was.

00:14:59.000 Because that's so right.

00:15:00.000 And it's so interesting because I'm writing my book too.

00:15:02.000 And I'm not going to steal factory settings, obviously.

00:15:05.000 Please do not steal factory settings from your book.

00:15:08.000 And I'm not going to, but I have been writing about that concept at the default, blah, blah, blah.

00:15:13.000 And then he writes, he writes, he puts factory settings in his book.

00:15:19.000 Someone sent me this, Bridget Fitassi, discussing a book she's writing.

00:15:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:25.000 Yeah, but I'm like.

00:15:26.000 Well, we just heard it.

00:15:27.000 You don't need to hear it again.

00:15:28.000 And then I think if you scroll...

00:15:34.000 Does he mention factory settings there?

00:15:37.000 I think I'm live on YouTube.

00:15:39.000 We have a little stream episode there.

00:15:42.000 But let me see if we have like a picture of the quote.

00:15:48.000 Yeah.

00:15:48.000 So then he says, like most Americans, spent the majority of his adult life subscribing to certain lefty political narrative, which is fed to all of us through the culture polygram and media machine, fed up with these quote unquote.

00:15:58.000 I think he thinks it's okay because he put factory settings in quotes.

00:16:02.000 All you had to do, dude, was say, fed up with what Bridget Fatasi wittily calls factory settings, which my friend Bridget Fatasi, a term my friend Bridget Fatasi coined.

00:16:15.000 That's all you got to do.

00:16:17.000 That's all you got to do.

00:16:21.000 Of course, was performing the song by Beefeater.

00:16:25.000 Remember them?

00:16:26.000 DC hardcore band?

00:16:30.000 They stayed at my house, my punk house, when they were on tour.

00:16:34.000 And the singer, Tomas, he slept in the middle of the kitchen on the floor with, he didn't want a bed.

00:16:45.000 We had a bed for him.

00:16:46.000 He slept in the kitchen floor with a small little Mexican blanket, a rock on one side of him, and a long stick on the other side of him.

00:16:56.000 That's how he slept.

00:16:56.000 No blanket.

00:16:58.000 What a fucking weirdo. 1.00

00:17:04.000 Should we get to that pickup artist video? 1.00

00:17:07.000 No.

00:17:09.000 Let's still do some more news.

00:17:12.000 Today in Black People, which is my new category for my notes, this fake racist graffiti, after racist graffiti shows up near Shelburne, that's like, I think, near Toronto, a community bands together to fight the bad words. 0.97

00:17:31.000 Imagine it said fuck on a rock and they talked about the community banding together. 0.99

00:17:36.000 So it said black niggers in Shelburne eating watermelon. 1.00

00:17:39.000 Of course, the news can't even show you this because it's so horrific. 0.99

00:17:44.000 So they cut out watermelon and they blur out that horrible word.

00:17:49.000 And you're looking at it going, yeah, I don't believe you.

00:17:52.000 That's not.

00:17:53.000 So this is a girl who discovered it, right?

00:17:56.000 I don't know why she had to call the police and have the community come together.

00:18:00.000 Just wash it off.

00:18:02.000 But she clearly spray painted it there herself, and she's calling herself a person of color.

00:18:07.000 No, not really.

00:18:09.000 But go up a bit.

00:18:11.000 My friend Robbie sent me this.

00:18:12.000 No, no, go up a bit.

00:18:14.000 That's down.

00:18:17.000 Anti-black racist graffiti spray painted across a large rock near Shelburne, Nova Scotia, sorry, has been removed thanks to people who took a stand after seeing it on Facebook.

00:18:26.000 How brave.

00:18:27.000 God, we're weak.

00:18:28.000 We're so scared of swear words.

00:18:30.000 Keep going down.

00:18:33.000 Oh my God, Ryan.

00:18:34.000 Just said down.

00:18:35.000 Yeah, you not to the bottom.

00:18:37.000 I want to read the next paragraph.

00:18:38.000 The graffiti, which used the N-word, blah, blah, blah.

00:18:41.000 Hartley 20, who is black, yeah, and lives in Shelburne, immediately posted the photo with the N-word covered up.

00:18:48.000 I just characterize it as hate.

00:18:50.000 And I, being a person of color, I've experienced so much hate. 1.00

00:18:54.000 Bullshit. 0.99

00:18:57.000 That I don't understand how one person could do it anymore. 1.00

00:19:00.000 See, you know what's funny?

00:19:02.000 That's a really clunky, weird sentence.

00:19:04.000 Like, you don't do hate.

00:19:05.000 And the graffiti is also clunky weird. 0.99

00:19:07.000 Black niggers, as opposed to what? 1.00

00:19:09.000 White niggas? 1.00

00:19:10.000 Eating watermelon? 0.99

00:19:12.000 What?

00:19:12.000 In Nova Scotia?

00:19:14.000 What?

00:19:15.000 She wrote that.

00:19:16.000 That's how she talks.

00:19:17.000 She talks funny.

00:19:21.000 So scared of bad words.

00:19:25.000 With that same logic, right? 0.99

00:19:27.000 You'd have to freak out if you saw the word cunt. 0.99

00:19:30.000 The community would have to band together. 1.00

00:19:32.000 I was in one of the bathroom stalls, and someone had drawn a penis and balls. 1.00

00:19:36.000 The balls had hairs on them, and the penis had pee coming out of it, and it said cock. 1.00

00:19:42.000 So I got the community together, and we painted, we banded together, and that penis is long gone. 1.00

00:19:48.000 Painted over. 0.98

00:19:49.000 You can't even see it through the paint.

00:19:52.000 All right.

00:19:54.000 Well, let's get serious for one second.

00:19:58.000 What is going on with ObamaGate?

00:20:00.000 It should be the biggest story in the world.

00:20:03.000 It is in here, but it takes a while to get there.

00:20:08.000 You have Richard Grenell, who was like the German ambassador for a while.

00:20:12.000 I know this dude. 0.99

00:20:13.000 He's a homo, a really cool, conservative homo. 1.00

00:20:16.000 But acting director of national intelligence, Richard Grinnell, has declassified the names of Obama administration officials who were allegedly behind the unmasking of formal national security advisor Michael Flynn. 0.96

00:20:28.000 Isn't this a big...

00:20:33.000 Watergate was him spying on people and recording their conversations.

00:20:38.000 Then, I am not a crook.

00:20:40.000 He was impeached.

00:20:41.000 The end of Nixon.

00:20:43.000 This is the exact same thing, is it not?

00:20:46.000 Go to that 1.5, the Zero Hedge article.

00:20:55.000 Obamagate Trump tweets Tucker Carlson's crushing breakdown why the former president should be panicking.

00:21:01.000 So go to round 215 in that clip.

00:21:03.000 He said, continue to seek everything ever been asked.

00:21:09.000 This exchange would define Barack Obama forever.

00:21:12.000 Obama would be known as the disgraced former president who used federal law enforcement to hurt his political enemies.

00:21:18.000 That's what he did.

00:21:20.000 Unfortunately, this is not a normal period.

00:21:22.000 Already today, Obama's order that Comey investigate Donald Trump has been relegated to a little-known footnote.

00:21:29.000 Joe Biden happened to be sitting in the room when this happened.

00:21:32.000 Has Biden ever been asked about that?

00:21:34.000 It's possible he never has been.

00:21:36.000 Most media outlets have ignored the origins of the Russia conspiracy hoax completely.

00:21:41.000 And as a result of that, Barack Obama's plan to derail his successor unfolded with very little opposition along the way, including from Republicans.

00:21:50.000 The entire country, therefore, spent the first three years of the Trump administration hyperventilating about Russian collusions.

00:21:58.000 That's enough.

00:21:59.000 Sometimes I get I agree with the Groupers and Michelle Malkin about Khan Inc., Conservative Inc. 0.98

00:22:06.000 Like they totally fucking dropped the ball on this story. 0.94

00:22:10.000 Just like the Proud Boys, there was no Daily Wire there. 0.99

00:22:12.000 They were scared they'd be called racist too.

00:22:14.000 So they just the Daily News, the New York Post didn't even go near the story.

00:22:19.000 The Daily News got to go there, hide John's black wife and take pictures of John Lowe, so it looks like he's Zeke Heiling. 0.99

00:22:26.000 And we know that our enemies, our shitty magicians, are going to be trying to fuck with us, but where are we? 0.99

00:22:31.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:22:33.000 In short, during the Obama administration, the NSA database was continually used to conduct surveillance.

00:22:38.000 They were spying on Trump and other Republicans.

00:22:41.000 They had a whole laundry list of enemies.

00:22:43.000 This is the critical point that leads to understanding the origin of Spygate as it unfolded in the spring and summer of 2016.

00:22:49.000 It was the discovery of the database exploitation and removal of access as a surveillance tool that created their initial problem.

00:22:56.000 Anyway, just show the top of that article because I'd have to read the whole thing.

00:22:59.000 It's really good.

00:23:00.000 That's what it's called.

00:23:02.000 And it's on Zero Hedge, which is not going to be around for long.

00:23:09.000 Oh, here's a doozy.

00:23:12.000 And this is related.

00:23:14.000 1-6.

00:23:17.000 So NBC admits Chuck Todd's Meet the Press dissembly edited Barr remarks on Flynn, right?

00:23:24.000 You are being lied to.

00:23:26.000 So go down to the tweet that it's a guy from Daily Wire, I think, posted.

00:23:31.000 Yeah, that one.

00:23:32.000 So click on that.

00:23:36.000 You brought up Bill Barr.

00:23:37.000 Peggy Noonan, I want you to listen to this Bill Barr answer to a question about what will history say about this.

00:23:44.000 When do you hear this answer?

00:23:45.000 Take a listen.

00:23:46.000 When history looks back on this decision, how do you think it will be written?

00:23:52.000 Well, history is written by the winner, so it largely depends on who's writing the history.

00:23:58.000 I was...

00:24:02.000 It's a correct answer, but he's the Attorney General.

00:24:05.000 He didn't make the case that he was upholding the rule of law.

00:24:08.000 He was almost admitting that, yeah, this is a political job.

00:24:13.000 When history looks on this.

00:24:16.000 So what you just saw was Chuck Todd's edit.

00:24:19.000 This is how it actually played out.

00:24:22.000 And how do you think it will be written?

00:24:25.000 Well, history is written by the winner, so it largely depends on who's writing the history.

00:24:31.000 But I think a fake history would say it was a good decision because it upheld the rule of law.

00:24:39.000 It upheld the standards of the Department of Justice.

00:24:42.000 And it undid what was an injustice. 0.99

00:24:45.000 Minor fucking... 0.99

00:24:50.000 It drives me nuts when she's on Tucker. 0.99

00:24:52.000 She could be so pretty, and she has basically my hair. 0.97

00:24:58.000 You have more feminine hair than her. 1.00

00:25:00.000 But anyway, yeah, you are being lied to by shitty magicians. 1.00

00:25:04.000 That pisses me off. 1.00

00:25:07.000 Should be fired by Concast for this fraud.

00:25:10.000 He knew exactly what he was doing.

00:25:11.000 Public airways equal fake news.

00:25:12.000 It's so true. 0.98

00:25:15.000 All right, let's get to, let's have some fun and make fun of losers, shall we? 0.95

00:25:19.000 Let's get to, let's get to. 0.90

00:25:26.000 Hello, folks. 1.00

00:25:27.000 I'd like to introduce you to some sad fucking losers. 0.99

00:25:30.000 And this is going to be a strange journey because I feel bad for the plight of man, but this horror show of bottom feeders feeding on nerds who are slightly lower than them is shocking to witness. 0.99

00:25:44.000 So we're going to be insulting these people, but also feeling some sympathy for them.

00:25:47.000 Let's see if that's possible.

00:25:49.000 So this guy with his strange collection of barn wood, he calls a face.

00:25:54.000 Look at those teeth. 1.00

00:25:57.000 Women aren't horny for you when you have shitty teeth because it Shows that you had a shitty childhood where your parents didn't care about you, and it means that you're going to be a shitty dad. 1.00

00:26:06.000 And so it turns off women. 1.00

00:26:07.000 They see a shitty son when they see you because you are. 1.00

00:26:11.000 So this sad nerd calls himself Wet Movie. 0.99

00:26:15.000 It's a strange, kind of a clammy pornography name, Wet Movie One. 0.73

00:26:19.000 And he just vlogs his life. 0.96

00:26:22.000 So he's seen to losers as the king of the shitheads, which is kind of good, I guess, because he obviously is never going to be able to pick up girls in person at a bar or something. 0.98

00:26:35.000 But if you have an entourage of friends and a project, you're going to have like a friend's sister. 0.98

00:26:39.000 There's hope for you yet.

00:26:41.000 But not picking up chicks.

00:26:42.000 So don't bother spending a night with pickup artists.

00:26:44.000 It'll do you no good.

00:26:45.000 I promise you, you will not get a phone number.

00:26:47.000 Promise.

00:26:49.000 Hey guys, Wet Movie One back here again.

00:26:51.000 Hi, Wet Movie One.

00:26:52.000 For another tonight in a life video for you guys today.

00:26:54.000 And in this video, we're gonna be doing something a little bit special and a little bit different.

00:26:59.000 You guys may be going home.

00:27:00.000 Oh my God, what kind of crazy stuff are you guys going to get into?

00:27:04.000 I'm with the special guest right now.

00:27:06.000 Come on over here, special guests.

00:27:08.000 Pause, you know how blacks have a different accent? 1.00

00:27:10.000 And because it's a different culture, I'm noticing nerds have a whole different accent, manners.

00:27:16.000 They always pose like this in photos.

00:27:20.000 They have different DNA.

00:27:22.000 It's a different culture.

00:27:24.000 And this is comic book guy from The Simpsons.

00:27:26.000 Hollywood, outside of the Capitol building, and we're about to go to a seminar.

00:27:32.000 Only building that's remotely interesting in all of that shithole called LA.

00:27:38.000 They contacted us, or we've been messaging back and forth, and they'll be like, yo, you want to know how to pick up women?

00:27:43.000 Come to Hillary. 1.00

00:27:45.000 I looked up these guys' videos.

00:27:46.000 Not these guys, but the pickup artists you're about to meet who are mind-blowing.

00:27:50.000 And they generally have about 115 views, 55 views.

00:27:54.000 They don't have a microphone. 0.99

00:27:55.000 So even in the pathetic world of being a YouTuber, they suck. 1.00

00:27:59.000 And these guys look up to them as gods. 1.00

00:28:01.000 See, there's tears.

00:28:03.000 When you see a really sad nerd, he's looking up to a rock star that you wouldn't let shine your boots.

00:28:10.000 Speaking, we're going to give you the right tips and tricks on how to pick up women and things. 1.00

00:28:16.000 Because, you know, I don't know what the hell I'm doing when it comes to that.

00:28:18.000 I kind of do, a little bit.

00:28:20.000 Sort of.

00:28:20.000 But we're going to be going to.

00:28:23.000 You know what your hope is? 0.99

00:28:24.000 Your hope is a nerdy girl who's part of some dumb club and doesn't care about teeth. 1.00

00:28:29.000 Your only hope is for a roadie vibe. 0.99

00:28:32.000 So don't wear shorts like the comic book dude from The Simpsons.

00:28:35.000 Grow more of a beard so you look less like the comic book dude.

00:28:39.000 And wear like jeans and boots so people think you're a roadie from motorhead or something.

00:28:43.000 And smoke.

00:28:44.000 Smoke cigarettes.

00:28:46.000 Going down to the seminar in a couple minutes and seeing how this thing turns out.

00:28:50.000 And we're on the Hollywood Walk of Fame right now.

00:28:52.000 But Aaron, dude, what are we getting into right now?

00:28:54.000 How do you know these?

00:28:56.000 Well, I mean, they're on Facebook and stuff.

00:28:58.000 And these guys are actually pretty popular.

00:29:00.000 And hey, hey guys, let's go on.

00:29:02.000 Okay, this pod here.

00:29:03.000 So that's part of his nerd crew.

00:29:06.000 This guy's bit is that he walks around with mannequin legs.

00:29:08.000 I just thought of something.

00:29:09.000 Can you imagine how sad it is this concept?

00:29:12.000 This is where we get into mockery and sympathy at the same time.

00:29:15.000 Can you imagine how sad it is, the concept of being a regular customer for pickup artists?

00:29:21.000 You didn't just go to one seminar.

00:29:23.000 You go to all of them and you know the guys' names and stuff.

00:29:27.000 How heartbreaking is that?

00:29:29.000 Hey guys, you want to get any chick you want?

00:29:32.000 Buy a bag of cocaine. 0.97

00:29:34.000 Sorry.

00:29:36.000 What's up, bro?

00:29:37.000 What up, buddy?

00:29:38.000 You know, me and Aaron are kind of busy tonight.

00:29:42.000 What are you doing?

00:29:45.000 This is a comedy act you're seeing.

00:29:46.000 Yeah, we had dinner earlier, so it's kind of hard.

00:29:48.000 Yeah, dude, but right now, me and Aaron are about to go meet up these pickup artists.

00:29:52.000 You want to come along with us?

00:29:53.000 I think it might do him some good, actually.

00:29:55.000 How to pick up a bro woman? 1.00

00:29:56.000 I heard he has a woman, and I guess you wouldn't mind if I tag a lot of it?

00:30:00.000 You can come along.

00:30:01.000 That's okay.

00:30:02.000 He's definitely got some Mexican in him.

00:30:05.000 That guy seems reasonable.

00:30:10.000 That guy managed to pick up a chick. 1.00

00:30:11.000 You just go black. 1.00

00:30:12.000 If you go black, you can get anyone you want. 1.00

00:30:17.000 Okay, this is the part that breaks my heart. 0.98

00:30:20.000 There's clientele.

00:30:21.000 People go to see these pickup artists.

00:30:23.000 Now, maybe the pickup artists faked this seminar and had their friends come, but I don't think so.

00:30:29.000 Now, this is the problem with the state of men today.

00:30:32.000 When I was young, men were rock stars.

00:30:34.000 Burt Reynolds had his big hairy body in Playgirl, a centerfold.

00:30:39.000 You could see big, fat, not fat, but big, hairy Burt Reynolds.

00:30:42.000 The way we dressed when we were teens was like a cutoff t-shirt showing our gorgeous bellies and like short shorts with tube socks and feathered hair with like a coral choker.

00:30:53.000 I see these photos of me when I was like 12 and I'm going, yeah, with like sunglasses like this.

00:30:59.000 We thought we were gods because men were treated well in the media.

00:31:04.000 There was like Smokey and the Bear and the Dukes of Hazard and men were cool.

00:31:07.000 Then somewhere around the 80s, feminism ended all men's clubs. 0.86

00:31:11.000 That's why the Proud Boys are verboten today. 1.00

00:31:15.000 And men became pieces of shit. 1.00

00:31:16.000 So we went from like my three sons and the Brady Bunch where dads are cool to like Homer Simpson and Dad Suck. 1.00

00:31:22.000 And the male suicide rate is going through the roof because guys don't know who they are anymore.

00:31:27.000 They've had their identity taken away and they don't know how to talk to girls apparently, a lot of them.

00:31:33.000 So their confidence is devastated.

00:31:34.000 The suicide rate is going through the roof for men, especially white males.

00:31:38.000 So this just breaks my heart to see. 0.97

00:31:41.000 Guys, you want to get laid? 0.81

00:31:42.000 Go to bars and get wasted and talk to everyone. 1.00

00:31:45.000 Talking, laughing, fucking. 1.00

00:31:47.000 That's all you need to know about chicks. 1.00

00:31:49.000 Just don't shut up.

00:31:51.000 Let's see how this turns out.

00:31:53.000 Aaron, what are we doing?

00:31:56.000 Hey, we're in Hollywood.

00:31:57.000 I think that's everything goes, right?

00:31:58.000 I guess so.

00:31:59.000 So we're heading on in to the seminar right now there.

00:32:02.000 Now, are you excited?

00:32:04.000 You think you're going to learn anything?

00:32:06.000 I'm really excited.

00:32:07.000 Are you excited too?

00:32:08.000 I'm excited.

00:32:08.000 We are excited.

00:32:09.000 Are you excited about your hilarious joke?

00:32:11.000 Hi, everybody.

00:32:12.000 Welcome.

00:32:13.000 Okay, so, just pause. 0.62

00:32:14.000 This freak is a nerd named Arash. 0.55

00:32:19.000 His name is Arash. 0.82

00:32:21.000 He is Arash.

00:32:23.000 Arash D Bazaar? 0.69

00:32:27.000 Oh, look, this is his protege who dresses like him and does all his tech equipment. 0.99

00:32:32.000 So, this guy's just, he couldn't get laid, so he covered himself in tattoos and turned himself into this mystical weirdo that I guess in a dark club, some girls think, oh, I'm gonna fuck him, a shitty bad guy from a kid-friendly horror movie like Goosebumps or This Old House. 0.99

00:32:52.000 He's a Disney villain. 0.99

00:32:53.000 Or something wicked this way comes.

00:32:54.000 Let's get started.

00:32:55.000 What I can do, nobody can do.

00:32:57.000 That's it.

00:32:58.000 There's nobody on the entire planet that can do what Arash can do.

00:33:01.000 Some of you have seen it.

00:33:04.000 You saw it last week, they went out with me last week.

00:33:06.000 Some of you have seen it on other levels. 0.99

00:33:07.000 He's seen a bunch of shit that's not explainable. 0.98

00:33:10.000 He gave away that a lot of his customers are actually friends he had come in. 0.99

00:33:13.000 You saw it last week when we were hanging out because we're friends.

00:33:16.000 And to get to where I'm at is going to require a tremendous amount of commitment.

00:33:21.000 But I am here to inspire something new.

00:33:25.000 What's happening is what's happening?

00:33:27.000 What's happening?

00:33:28.000 Why is there a mannequin here?

00:33:28.000 What is that?

00:33:29.000 What do we have to find?

00:33:30.000 So this again is a joke.

00:33:32.000 This is obviously staged, and now they're doing a comedy turn.

00:33:36.000 Bro, I told you.

00:33:38.000 Go for anybody go for it to the party.

00:33:40.000 In a way, yeah.

00:33:41.000 Yeah?

00:33:42.000 Who are you guys?

00:33:43.000 I've been seeing you guys.

00:33:44.000 Are you students here?

00:33:44.000 Are you spies?

00:33:45.000 Spies.

00:33:46.000 Spies.

00:33:47.000 When nerds do art. 1.00

00:33:49.000 Their students are half gay, half not gay, half animal lovers. 0.97

00:33:55.000 He's wearing OR scrubs, a black silk t-shirt, and fancy dress shoes. 0.94

00:33:59.000 And why is there a woman there? 1.00

00:34:01.000 How to pick up me?

00:34:03.000 Bring him to spies?

00:34:04.000 You're his dad? 1.00

00:34:04.000 He's gay. 1.00

00:34:05.000 I'm gay. 0.93

00:34:06.000 You're gay lovers together? 0.97

00:34:07.000 I'm not against gay, you guys.

00:34:09.000 These guys have all agreed to be there.

00:34:11.000 You would be too ashamed to let someone say that.

00:34:12.000 We're just trying to get some tips on, you know, we want to spice up our love level.

00:34:15.000 Well, let's start with a tip. 0.99

00:34:16.000 Don't bring a fucking mannequin to a place like this. 0.99

00:34:19.000 I've talked to him before, and he said that he thinks that it makes other women jealous because he's fuck off your restaurants. 1.00

00:34:26.000 Yeah, that makes sense. 0.96

00:34:27.000 I want to hear more of what a rash has to say.

00:34:29.000 I didn't know a rash could talk.

00:34:31.000 How about that continuum?

00:34:33.000 I also know I dress nice.

00:34:35.000 I know there's many things about me that can be admired.

00:34:39.000 I'll start there.

00:34:41.000 Without thinking about sex.

00:34:42.000 He has his eyelids tattooed.

00:34:44.000 Covered his face and head with tattoos.

00:34:49.000 Okay. 1.00

00:34:50.000 For sure, we're going to have sex when the right fucking time comes. 1.00

00:34:54.000 For you and for me. 1.00

00:34:56.000 When is the right time for your rosh when she's begging me? 1.00

00:34:59.000 How about that?

00:35:00.000 Be clear here. 0.99

00:35:01.000 He's telling these nerds who can't get laid that the best time for them to have sex with a woman is when she's on her hands and knees pleading and begging for it. 0.93

00:35:11.000 Is that really good advice for these guys? 0.99

00:35:13.000 For Garbage Mouth? 1.00

00:35:14.000 Is that really good advice for them? 1.00

00:35:16.000 That's when I want to have sex.

00:35:18.000 What if that is going to take about 300 years? 1.00

00:35:21.000 Fingering the shit out of her or licking her pussy or doing whatever the fuck I'm doing. 1.00

00:35:25.000 And I know she wants to fuck. 1.00

00:35:26.000 And now it's getting awkward that I'm not fucking her. 1.00

00:35:29.000 We both can feel it. 0.99

00:35:30.000 How much money do you think these guys make?

00:35:32.000 How much are these tickets?

00:35:35.000 That moment arrives if you do that long enough.

00:35:37.000 And then I say to you.

00:35:38.000 Remember Rouch V. He's all into trad cat stuff now, traditional Catholicism and living in the woods in the middle of nowhere. 0.98

00:35:45.000 But that used to be his bag.

00:35:48.000 How to pick up chicks. 0.98

00:35:49.000 And sometimes I think the tickets are 320 bucks.

00:35:53.000 So we make men feel terrible about themselves. 0.99

00:35:55.000 They live in perpetual fear of getting me-tooed like Aziz Ansari did when seven blowjobs meant that seven blowjobs meant that he was raping her. 0.99

00:36:11.000 We've talked about it a million times. 0.99

00:36:11.000 Remember that story? 0.99

00:36:13.000 She blew him seven times in a date, and then later, two years later, said that he basically raped her. 1.00

00:36:22.000 I know her language by then. 1.00

00:36:23.000 Don't blow your rapist. 1.00

00:36:25.000 That's my advice. 1.00

00:36:26.000 That's my seminar. 1.00

00:36:29.000 Then you have to tell me, Arash, fuck me. 1.00

00:36:31.000 And every single time, they're like, what? 1.00

00:36:36.000 What the fuck did you just say? 0.99

00:36:38.000 And I say, no, I'm serious, actually. 0.99

00:36:40.000 But if you want.

00:36:40.000 We don't have to.

00:36:41.000 He's on his phone during his seminar.

00:36:44.000 Okay, this guy is named Vince.

00:36:47.000 Do you remember his second name?

00:36:50.000 Vince Nevik or something?

00:36:51.000 I don't know.

00:36:52.000 He's got some weird foreign accent.

00:36:55.000 I guarantee you he has a wife and kids back in his home country of maybe Poland and or Italy.

00:37:03.000 I don't think Italy.

00:37:06.000 Vince Kelvin?

00:37:07.000 Vince Kelvin.

00:37:08.000 That's his name.

00:37:09.000 He's been on Steve Harvey.

00:37:10.000 Oh my God.

00:37:11.000 He's lived an incredible life. 0.96

00:37:12.000 And he has a weird shitty mohawk where it's as long as my hair on the sides. 0.98

00:37:17.000 And then he just has this long hair that he combs and dyes into a chick's mohawk, like a sexy girl's mohawk. 0.98

00:37:27.000 Like, what's her name?

00:37:28.000 Brody from the distillers.

00:37:30.000 And it goes over one eye.

00:37:32.000 It's sort of like that dude, Sway, who would put his dreads in a big, tall Marge Simpson, like African wrap until someone said, dude, that's what African women do. 0.99

00:37:43.000 Men don't put their hair in a big tall thing. 1.00

00:37:45.000 And then he stopped doing it.

00:37:46.000 This guy is doing the same thing, but with punk chicks. 1.00

00:37:49.000 And he has on all this pink jewelry.

00:37:52.000 His face is covered in piercings, just like a rash. 0.99

00:37:55.000 And then he's got these like goth boots from fucking Burning Man. 1.00

00:38:01.000 I really want to meet someone who fucks him. 1.00

00:38:04.000 I really want to meet her, and I want to interview her vagina. 1.00

00:38:06.000 Same with the other guy. 1.00

00:38:08.000 I'm stunned anyone fucks them. 0.99

00:38:10.000 And the fact that these sad nerds are taking advice from them shows you how far man has plummeted. 0.99

00:38:16.000 Talk about toxic masculinity. 1.00

00:38:18.000 This masculinity smells like a bad fart. 0.93

00:38:21.000 Do not always keep it.

00:38:23.000 You cannot just smile or just, you know, you got to be alive with your face, with your soul, your heart, your guts, and your soul. 0.99

00:38:33.000 Your testicles. 0.99

00:38:35.000 We have a lady here. 1.00

00:38:37.000 Let's watch that 950 points. 1.00

00:38:40.000 Your testicles we have a lady here who have to be. 1.00

00:38:43.000 Sounds like he's saying electric eels. 1.00

00:38:45.000 Your testicules. 0.98

00:38:47.000 And your. 1.00

00:38:49.000 Your testicles we have a lady here. 1.00

00:38:51.000 We have to be. 1.00

00:38:53.000 In between.

00:38:54.000 We call them yes, but.

00:38:56.000 Everybody, yes.

00:38:57.000 Yes.

00:38:58.000 Speaking of butt. 1.00

00:38:58.000 But. 1.00

00:38:59.000 Wait a minute.

00:38:59.000 This guy Is Arash's man.

00:39:01.000 I wonder what he thinks of Vince.

00:39:03.000 I wonder if he's like Vince, because he hasn't taken any of Vince's look.

00:39:07.000 He's 100% Arash. 1.00

00:39:09.000 So I wonder if he's sort of like, oh, great, now Vince is here.

00:39:11.000 He probably says to Arash, dude, you should do your own seminars.

00:39:14.000 You're so much better than Vince. 0.99

00:39:15.000 He looks like a goof. 0.99

00:39:16.000 You look like a magician. 1.00

00:39:17.000 Look at fucking comic book guy. 1.00

00:39:21.000 He's an exact clone. 1.00

00:39:24.000 Really?

00:39:24.000 Black dudes?

00:39:25.000 Really? 0.99

00:39:28.000 Do you walk around with legs like that?

00:39:31.000 Yeah, sometimes.

00:39:32.000 Sometimes.

00:39:33.000 May I see them?

00:39:34.000 May I borrow them?

00:39:36.000 Won't it be okay if you see a man walk around with legs like that? 0.70

00:39:40.000 Don't eye-seekiness.

00:39:42.000 Yeah?

00:39:43.000 I would walk around with that and say, excuse me, excuse me, have you seen the top?

00:39:51.000 Those tools I give you right now.

00:39:53.000 Excuse me, excuse me, have you seen the top?

00:39:56.000 Let's get to it.

00:39:57.000 And the guy is ancient.

00:39:59.000 He's older than me.

00:40:01.000 And he's dressed like a Ten year old anime Punk chick Those tools that I gave you right now You need to be a mouse This is so amazing. 0.99

00:40:11.000 Not only does he have this unbelievable chick hair, emo fucking geek. 0.99

00:40:18.000 He also has wool that he's stitched into his hair, woven in. 0.98

00:40:23.000 He has multicolored dreads coming out the back, but he also has this gray wool ponytail, three mouth piercings, and then nose and eye piercings.

00:40:34.000 Could you do worse?

00:40:36.000 I don't know a woman that I've, in my entire, like all my friends, all my friends' friends. 1.00

00:40:42.000 I don't know of a woman that would fuck him under any circumstances. 1.00

00:40:46.000 Super sharp. 1.00

00:40:48.000 You need to know them in your sleep.

00:40:49.000 You do either. 0.99

00:40:50.000 At some point, it's still a process of discovery, but it's like, you know, these guys are like, they're like parasites. 1.00

00:40:57.000 They're like rats. 1.00

00:40:59.000 So we have this rotting corpse of masculinity in this country. 0.99

00:41:03.000 And then these little scavengers come in and just start picking off and breaking off little pieces.

00:41:07.000 Like this well-trained surgeon.

00:41:11.000 Or, like, all-time classic in a parallel reality.

00:41:17.000 Right now, you and I are dry humping so good.

00:41:21.000 You're on that wall.

00:41:23.000 Remember when Ricky Gervais, or I should say David Brent in the office, he has that song, Hot Love on the Hot Love.

00:41:30.000 And then he says, I saw a cowboy crying.

00:41:35.000 And he ends it with, I had a lot of women, but none of them was you. 0.98

00:41:40.000 And then the other guy goes, oh, he's gay.

00:41:43.000 And he goes, no, no. 0.91

00:41:44.000 He's not talking to the cowboy anymore.

00:41:45.000 He has a picture of his girl that he's holding up.

00:41:48.000 And he's looking at the picture.

00:41:50.000 In the video, you'll see that. 0.95

00:41:51.000 So David Brent fucked up and changed out the person without telling the listener. 0.96

00:41:55.000 That's exactly what he did. 0.99

00:41:57.000 He's sitting here talking to these guys, saying, you need to go out and talk to girls and you need to do this.

00:42:01.000 You need to do that. 0.99

00:42:02.000 And then he switches it to a chick and says, in a parallel universe, you and I are fucking. 0.99

00:42:06.000 So everyone in the seminar goes, wait, you and I are fucking? 1.00

00:42:10.000 That's how bad he is at talking. 0.99

00:42:14.000 Go back a little bit.

00:42:23.000 You're on that wall.

00:42:24.000 You're begging for more.

00:42:26.000 You're at that place when you want it to stop because it's so strong and you want it to last forever at the same time.

00:42:32.000 And the two are coming together.

00:42:35.000 And you go inside one and the other one is back and forth.

00:42:38.000 And dry humping.

00:42:44.000 Hey, you want to dry hump in my car? 0.55

00:42:46.000 Rub each other's jeans together? 0.98

00:42:49.000 What you wanted?

00:42:51.000 I'm wondering if I fell down, did you guys catch me?

00:42:54.000 Or take it? 1.00

00:42:56.000 Come and suck my dick, his jacket says. 1.00

00:42:59.000 He's smoking a cigarette and drinking health grass juice. 1.00

00:43:04.000 If you look at the look, you miss out on things that, if let's say.

00:43:11.000 This is how bad things are, that people actually listen to this man who does not speak English and cannot convey a thought.

00:43:19.000 See if you can understand what he's about to say.

00:43:21.000 It's one of the most confusing moments in the history of the human experience.

00:43:27.000 You miss out on things that, if let's say, you're talking to a man and you say something that's pretty clever, wouldn't you say that what I said is clever and funny?

00:43:37.000 Not everybody may appreciate it, but it's clever and funny.

00:43:40.000 And the best response the man would give you, let's say, you share some principles that you share and the guy goes, oh, yeah.

00:43:51.000 You would put in the right perspective. 0.99

00:43:53.000 You would be like, that's completely retarded. 1.00

00:43:55.000 Who is that human being? 0.99

00:43:57.000 what I'm thinking right now.

00:44:06.000 That's the one crumb in this entire video that sort of made sense.

00:44:11.000 And he's saying when you go out and try to pick up chicks and they reject you, don't take it personally.

00:44:15.000 Okay?

00:44:16.000 That's not easy to do, especially as you get older and your ego becomes more important to you.

00:44:21.000 But thanks, I guess, for the tip.

00:44:23.000 Punk chick? 0.98

00:44:24.000 Look at him. 0.92

00:44:26.000 Somebody responds minimally, not much.

00:44:28.000 Then he thinks something is wrong with him.

00:44:30.000 But if you don't have that, you stay.

00:44:33.000 It's just about a matter of having the right candidates.

00:44:36.000 See, let's see.

00:44:37.000 Let's set it down.

00:44:39.000 Yeah, let's do some more leg jokes. 0.95

00:44:40.000 Those are great.

00:44:41.000 I kind of like the height right there.

00:44:44.000 Because I love tall girls, so oftentimes, like it's a little bit of a mismatch. 0.97

00:44:49.000 I love hips higher than mine. 1.00

00:44:51.000 Sir, would you fuck that mannequin? 1.00

00:44:53.000 Ah, no. 1.00

00:44:54.000 Come on.

00:44:56.000 Look, just pause. 1.00

00:44:58.000 What the fuck is this? 1.00

00:45:00.000 This is a tiny dwarf who's handicapped who rides around in a neon toy with blue hair making jokes. 1.00

00:45:09.000 I don't know if he's part of wet movies crew or if there's just the streets of LA are just littered with freaks. 0.99

00:45:16.000 But he likes to fuck mannequins according to their joke. 1.00

00:45:21.000 Dude, bring it. 1.00

00:45:23.000 You might want to be careful, dude, because he has all.

00:45:25.000 I'm actually about to take it out, bro.

00:45:27.000 Okay, have fun, bro.

00:45:29.000 You don't know what kind of disease.

00:45:30.000 I know exactly what I'm going to do, bro. 1.00

00:45:32.000 This bitch, bro. 1.00

00:45:33.000 I've never been before. 1.00

00:45:33.000 This is my little girl. 1.00

00:45:35.000 Oh, dude, he's taking your shit, homie. 1.00

00:45:38.000 This is my ex, but, like, you get habit, bro. 1.00

00:45:40.000 Cause, like, I've been there, done that.

00:45:42.000 Floppy seconds, bro.

00:45:43.000 Okay. 0.97

00:45:43.000 God, imagine the kind of game you'd have to be if you were a crippled dwarf. 0.97

00:45:47.000 Like, you're going to do better than being the funniest guy alive and having blue hair.

00:45:51.000 Wait, what's he saying?

00:45:53.000 Okay.

00:45:54.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:45:55.000 You might want to wash your hands though, okay, homie? 1.00

00:45:57.000 Did I ever tell you about the time I met this hot Asian chick because she sent Vice her zine and it was pretty interesting? 0.92

00:46:04.000 So I started corresponding with her.

00:46:06.000 And eventually she said, hey, I'm going to be in New York.

00:46:10.000 I thought, yes, let's meet up.

00:46:12.000 And she'd sent me pictures of her.

00:46:14.000 I think this is like 2000.

00:46:16.000 And she'd sent me a few pictures of her.

00:46:17.000 There wasn't a lot of social media back then. 0.63

00:46:19.000 And she looked super fucking hot in these pictures. 1.00

00:46:22.000 So I meet her at, what's it called? 0.73

00:46:25.000 It's on 10th Street, Webster Hall.

00:46:28.000 And I can't find her anywhere.

00:46:30.000 And I go upstairs, downstairs, which she's not the place we agreed to meet.

00:46:34.000 And then I finally see her.

00:46:36.000 She's sitting down.

00:46:37.000 They have high tables there, the kind that you stand and lean on.

00:46:40.000 She's sitting down below one.

00:46:41.000 So it's like over her head. 1.00

00:46:42.000 And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:46:43.000 Why don't you sit on a stool? 1.00

00:46:44.000 And then I realize that she's crippled. 0.98

00:46:47.000 She's in a wheelchair. 0.85

00:46:50.000 And her legs are pipe cleaners. 1.00

00:46:52.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:46:54.000 And I said, oh, you didn't tell me you're in a wheelchair. 1.00

00:46:56.000 And she goes, yeah, I did.

00:46:57.000 No, you didn't.

00:46:58.000 Believe me, I would not forget that.

00:47:00.000 And then I guess she's been through this before.

00:47:02.000 So she picks up her body and her little spaghetti legs sort of follow her. 1.00

00:47:05.000 And she sits on the bench now.

00:47:06.000 And she goes, try it.

00:47:07.000 Try it.

00:47:08.000 I guess that's the icebreaker that she does. 0.92

00:47:10.000 And it kind of worked.

00:47:12.000 I sat in it and there was zero friction.

00:47:15.000 The technology on these things is amazing.

00:47:17.000 I could do that sort of spin thing and the lean back thing.

00:47:20.000 And from the slightest push, I was like across the room.

00:47:23.000 So that was fun.

00:47:24.000 But I got to get out of this. 1.00

00:47:25.000 I'm not going to fuck a cripple. 1.00

00:47:27.000 And so she has like this guy there, and he's her best friend's boyfriend. 1.00

00:47:33.000 And he's sort of monitoring me and monitoring the situation.

00:47:36.000 Whatever, dude.

00:47:36.000 I'm not interested.

00:47:38.000 So we go to this dive bar that's on 14th Street.

00:47:40.000 I forget what it was called.

00:47:42.000 But we go to the back and she starts getting drunk. 0.95

00:47:46.000 Now, girls can't handle their liquor. 1.00

00:47:47.000 Asians can't handle their liquor. 1.00

00:47:49.000 Crippled Asian females, I mean, you just have to sort of breathe beer vapors on them and they're shit-faced. 1.00

00:47:55.000 So I'm talking to the guy and not really including her in the conversation because she's lower than us. 1.00

00:48:01.000 And I don't mean that in a class way.

00:48:03.000 But when someone's in a chair, you have to keep going like this to talk to them and it hurts your back.

00:48:08.000 So they tend to get ignored.

00:48:09.000 It's just more comfortable.

00:48:11.000 In fact, there's these parties in New York where they would cut styrofoam for your shoes and make everyone six feet tall.

00:48:19.000 They were called like height parties or something.

00:48:22.000 So everyone was the exact same height.

00:48:24.000 And it's true. 0.56

00:48:24.000 I noticed at parties, you'll see like the tall people will end up talking to each other because they're sick of doing this all the time. 0.56

00:48:30.000 And same with the shrimps. 0.94

00:48:31.000 They're sick of going like that, so they'll hang out.

00:48:33.000 Anyway, so she starts getting more and more wasted and she takes off her shirt and she's got her phone stuffed into her bra in case she gets an important call. 0.98

00:48:42.000 And she goes, why does everyone think blowjobs are such a big deal? 0.98

00:48:49.000 And she's saying that really, really loud. 0.98

00:48:50.000 And we're both like, okay. 0.96

00:48:52.000 And she goes, they're so fucking easy. 0.96

00:48:56.000 That's what she yelled. 1.00

00:48:58.000 And then I start getting attracted to her.

00:49:01.000 And oh, there we go.

00:49:04.000 And then her boyfriend senses that.

00:49:08.000 Or not her boyfriend, her bodyguard, I guess.

00:49:10.000 And then he's sort of getting territorial.

00:49:12.000 And then we start having this sort of chest puffing stance where I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll probably take her on.

00:49:17.000 He's like, no, I got her.

00:49:18.000 Don't worry about it.

00:49:18.000 I got her.

00:49:19.000 I'm like, oh, no, she'll be safe with me too.

00:49:19.000 She'll be safe with me.

00:49:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:23.000 And eventually he won and wheeled her out of there with her little skinny legs ranting and screaming at the top of her lungs about fellatio. 1.00

00:49:29.000 And I thought, I wonder what that would have been like that night. 0.99

00:49:33.000 Her legs had zero meat on the bones. 1.00

00:49:36.000 And you'd think she'd wear high-heel shoes, too. 1.00

00:49:38.000 If anyone's going to wear high-heel shoes, it's someone who doesn't have to walk in them.

00:49:41.000 That kind of pissed me off.

00:49:42.000 Anyway, so this guy's probably in the same boat. 0.99

00:49:45.000 Poor bastard. 0.98

00:49:46.000 You can tell he's working hard, though. 1.00

00:49:49.000 Do y'all come on that shit or what? 1.00

00:49:49.000 Should I wash my hands? 1.00

00:49:51.000 All of us did earlier. 1.00

00:49:53.000 We were cocky on that motherfucker. 1.00

00:49:54.000 Appreciate it. 1.00

00:49:55.000 Okay, cool.

00:49:55.000 All right, man.

00:49:56.000 You down to go to the Roosevelt with us?

00:49:57.000 Let's do it.

00:49:58.000 All right, man.

00:49:58.000 The party's moving on over to the Roosevelt.

00:50:01.000 Okay, guys, before we head on over to the Roosevelt, we're going on over to Vince's apartment, the Pussy Palace, and see what it is. 0.98

00:50:09.000 Way better name than the Fag Zone. 1.00

00:50:11.000 All right, Vince, we're finally in the city.

00:50:12.000 Okay, so this is his apartment, right?

00:50:14.000 It appears to be a bachelor pad, like a bachelor apartment, like a one-bedroom, which in Hollywood, in LA, that must be dirt cheap.

00:50:25.000 This must be $900 a month.

00:50:27.000 Maybe $1,100? 1.00

00:50:30.000 He's a loser. 1.00

00:50:32.000 Finally, in your pad here, as I called it outside the Pussy Palace, and you even have a stripper pole here. 1.00

00:50:37.000 These guys are kings of the shitheads. 1.00

00:50:40.000 In the middle of your room here. 1.00

00:50:43.000 Do you have a stripper pole in your room? 1.00

00:50:45.000 It has a stripper pole, actually. 0.85

00:50:46.000 It's just pants on it.

00:50:47.000 So it depends, you know?

00:50:48.000 Oh.

00:50:49.000 Yeah, it's in my pads.

00:50:51.000 We got a little history with some of the things we put down in the garage here.

00:50:54.000 Okay.

00:50:55.000 That's on the Steve Harvey show right there.

00:50:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:58.000 That's the CNN week.

00:51:00.000 I like that clip.

00:51:01.000 That's our event, the Golden Player.

00:51:02.000 Oh, we listen to Lisa Ling's show. 0.88

00:51:04.000 That's the pig party last year.

00:51:07.000 And that's the Russian I, Will Kings will pick up. 0.93

00:51:09.000 That's pretty cool, man.

00:51:10.000 This is like, this is kind of like a pad I wish I had, to be honest.

00:51:14.000 You know what I mean?

00:51:14.000 Like, I don't know about the stripes.

00:51:15.000 It's a girl's pad. 1.00

00:51:16.000 It's not just a girl's pad. 1.00

00:51:18.000 It's a fat girl's pad. 1.00

00:51:20.000 If you go home with a fat female bartender in New Orleans, this is exactly what her place will look like. 1.00

00:51:26.000 Oh, great. 1.00

00:51:26.000 You have a black cock tattooed to your stomach. 1.00

00:51:32.000 Didn't occur to you that it's black when you were doing the pun? 1.00

00:51:35.000 Some of them did just go, yeah, sure.

00:51:38.000 No, but guys, I have a quick question.

00:51:39.000 Since we're going down, we're going to party in Hollywood together.

00:51:43.000 These wool dreads. 1.00

00:51:47.000 Hey, with that shitty attitude, what do you think the chances are of me, you might as well go bet all your fucking money on a lotto when you talk like that? 0.99

00:51:56.000 Let's reword it, right? 0.99

00:51:57.000 Okay, we're going to go to Hollywood right now.

00:52:00.000 You're going to Roosevelt Hotel, which seems to be a weird destination.

00:52:03.000 I've never thought of that until you're going to be a fun party zone.

00:52:06.000 I don't know.

00:52:07.000 Who goes to a hotel?

00:52:08.000 Vince, are you like that?

00:52:11.000 We finally got out of Vince's apartment over here. 0.72

00:52:14.000 This is like a fancy ass thing.

00:52:14.000 I know.

00:52:16.000 We're going to be getting into this car.

00:52:17.000 I feel like a rock.

00:52:18.000 So I know what's going on here.

00:52:20.000 I got it figured out. 1.00

00:52:22.000 This guy is king of the shitheads. 1.00

00:52:23.000 He's the top nerd in the loser community. 1.00

00:52:27.000 The two, Ash Arash and Vince, prey on these sad losers. 0.96

00:52:33.000 So they say, hey, we want to be on your YouTube channel. 0.92

00:52:36.000 You can interview us, spend a night with us rocking.

00:52:38.000 And you can come to one of our seminars.

00:52:40.000 It's going to be good for you.

00:52:41.000 It'll be good for us because it'll be advertising. 0.98

00:52:43.000 We can show you losers how cool we are.

00:52:45.000 And as you can see by that apartment, you don't have to be very cool to impress these guys. 0.97

00:52:49.000 Oh, by the way, in that stripper pole thing, he says, I could never have one in my room.

00:52:54.000 This nerd says that because I don't have the confidence.

00:52:59.000 Do you realize what he thinks?

00:53:00.000 He thinks that Vince strips for his dates.

00:53:04.000 They sit on the bed and then he, I don't know, goes upside down and like slides down the pole really slow.

00:53:09.000 Is this still recording, Ryan?

00:53:10.000 Everything fine?

00:53:15.000 So Vince, do you usually ride in cars like car stores?

00:53:18.000 What they did was they booked like a super fancy Uber X or maybe even rented a car so they can look like badasses in this clip to the nerds. 0.95

00:53:27.000 This is just, this is evil.

00:53:33.000 So if it's pre-planned, we have a couple drivers we work with.

00:53:36.000 We just arrived in the room.

00:53:37.000 A couple of drivers we work with. 0.99

00:53:39.000 What are you talking about, you effing liar? 1.00

00:53:43.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:53:44.000 Oh, I think something over here at the Bluebell. 1.00

00:53:47.000 Okay, so what is that black chick? 1.00

00:53:48.000 She has wool hair.

00:53:50.000 She looks like she's 45. 0.86

00:53:52.000 She's a four.

00:53:54.000 And I don't think these guys just picked her up.

00:53:56.000 think they called her and said hey can we pick you up at the club so we just yeah I picked up a four.

00:54:14.000 No, you didn't, and that's not impressive.

00:54:17.000 And you can't get a bald chick. 1.00

00:54:19.000 A fat, bald, old chick. 1.00

00:54:23.000 Look at his head. 1.00

00:54:24.000 What has he done to himself? 1.00

00:54:25.000 He likes pussy so much, he's disfigured himself. 0.99

00:54:29.000 I mean, we like it too, but we're not going to tattoo our eyelids to get our numbers up. 0.99

00:54:38.000 I don't care.

00:54:38.000 This is the weird part.

00:54:39.000 Vince leaves.

00:54:43.000 Wow.

00:54:44.000 You were over here at Craig.

00:54:47.000 So, what do you do when you want to pick up chicks? 0.96

00:54:49.000 You go to a strip club where lots of naked ladies are. 1.00

00:54:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:54.000 And those naked ladies like you a lot. 0.99

00:54:57.000 They want to date you. 0.94

00:54:59.000 All it takes is throw, literally throwing money at them.

00:55:04.000 So what he does is he takes these girls outside and he says, you can plug your Instagram.

00:55:11.000 Follow me on Instagram at F-U-underscore I'm going to go to.

00:55:15.000 Nice work, wet movie.

00:55:16.000 You got a girlfriend.

00:55:17.000 She loves you.

00:55:20.000 You know who's allowed to go to strip clubs and hang out with chicks? 1.00

00:55:25.000 Every male person of drinking age in the world.

00:55:30.000 This is not an accomplishment.

00:55:31.000 Although I'll tell you what is an accomplishment. 0.99

00:55:33.000 I've taken my phone out of strip clubs before and they get fucking pissed. 0.99

00:55:38.000 They get really mad. 0.97

00:55:40.000 Even if you take out your phone and look at your texts, they get mad at the idea that you might be filming.

00:55:44.000 Music I'm partying.

00:55:53.000 She had a rash on her shoulder there.

00:55:57.000 All right, guys, we just got out of the club.

00:55:58.000 Hang on.

00:55:59.000 We met Liles Davis?

00:56:00.000 We're heading on back to the Roosevelt. 0.68

00:56:03.000 Yeah, that's gremlin.

00:56:06.000 All right, everyone.

00:56:07.000 We've come down to the coke sinking in.

00:56:13.000 I got the girls back there doing their stuff. 1.00

00:56:16.000 What do his eyelids say? 0.99

00:56:18.000 I killed another. 1.00

00:56:22.000 Fuck you? 1.00

00:56:25.000 Fuck the rest. 1.00

00:56:27.000 Yeah, it says fuck you. 1.00

00:56:28.000 It says fuck you. 1.00

00:56:30.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:56:32.000 Wow. 1.00

00:56:33.000 I know this guy, a rash.

00:56:35.000 He's such a badass. 1.00

00:56:36.000 It says fuck you on his eyes. 1.00

00:56:38.000 That's how badass he is. 1.00

00:56:41.000 Wow.

00:56:42.000 I appreciate you guys being here.

00:56:43.000 I had a good time with you.

00:56:44.000 I hope you had a good time.

00:56:45.000 Yeah, we had a lot of time.

00:56:47.000 I had a good time advertising to you nerds.

00:56:50.000 Pretending that I can get you laid. 1.00

00:56:52.000 And all I can do is get you less pussy by making you look like a freak. 1.00

00:56:57.000 I'm a total nerd. 1.00

00:56:58.000 Anyway, he goes on to plug his website.

00:57:00.000 And I think we should definitely check these guys out.

00:57:02.000 Maybe get them on the show. 0.98

00:57:04.000 I like the idea of mocking these parasite rats who feed on lonely nerds. 0.99

00:57:10.000 And you're ready for life. 0.99

00:57:12.000 Oh, and you give it all you've got.

00:57:17.000 I'm hooked.

00:57:18.000 Are you hooked?

00:57:19.000 I'm Vince and Narash?

00:57:21.000 I want to know everything about them.

00:57:23.000 I want to know, this is sort of like the room with Vince.

00:57:26.000 We don't know his, what country he's from.

00:57:28.000 He's a midget and he's got dark hair, so I'm thinking Italian. 1.00

00:57:34.000 He's shockingly, he's shorter than Ronnie James Dio, by the way.

00:57:38.000 If you see him, I saw other people.

00:57:39.000 You'll notice when he's talking to people like my height, I'm 5'11.

00:57:42.000 He's talking like this.

00:57:44.000 He looks way up.

00:57:46.000 Oh, he's got an IMDB. 1.00

00:57:48.000 What a fucking loser. 1.00

00:57:50.000 Dude, you have the hair of a hot, fat, punk chick. 1.00

00:57:55.000 Wait, what's this? 0.98

00:57:57.000 Best Science Fiction Feature Film Award.

00:58:00.000 Amazing.

00:58:01.000 Oh, we're watching that.

00:58:03.000 Look, Tarash is in it too.

00:58:05.000 Yes, he is.

00:58:07.000 I got mirrors sent to the house. 0.99

00:58:10.000 So we can, we don't have to use my daughter's giant fucking wood mirror. 1.00

00:58:14.000 Yeah, we should watch that. 0.98

00:58:16.000 We should also watch 90 Day Fiancé, which I watched with my daughter last night. 1.00

00:58:20.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:58:21.000 That guy, I think my favorite one, obviously Big Ed is the winner. 0.99

00:58:26.000 But it's almost like it's lame now to like Big Ed.

00:58:29.000 You know, when Your band, like the replacements, when they had Sarima forgot to take out the trash, they were your band.

00:58:34.000 And then when they got big with Please to Meet Me, you're like, ah, I don't like them anymore.

00:58:38.000 I like their old stuff.

00:58:39.000 I'm like that too.

00:58:40.000 I'm a 90-day snob.

00:58:42.000 He's Tiger King now.

00:58:43.000 Yeah, he's Tiger King.

00:58:44.000 Sorry, it's whack.

00:58:46.000 You're corny if you're into big head.

00:58:47.000 No, the cool guy.

00:58:49.000 I don't know.

00:58:50.000 That's enough of it.

00:58:52.000 The cool guy now is David.

00:58:55.000 The guy who spent $100,000 on, I think her name is Maria.

00:59:00.000 Atlanta?

00:59:01.000 Atlanta.

00:59:02.000 She stood him up five times over the course of seven years.

00:59:07.000 And this is, they just showed her for the first time.

00:59:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:12.000 By the way, my daughter and I are obsessed with this jacket.

00:59:15.000 Is there a worse jacket available?

00:59:18.000 First of all, that color.

00:59:20.000 What is that?

00:59:20.000 Hot mustard?

00:59:23.000 No, it really is.

00:59:24.000 It's like champagne bronze or something.

00:59:28.000 What is that?

00:59:29.000 Could you choose a less attractive?

00:59:31.000 There's not a less attractive color in the world palette.

00:59:35.000 Where did you get that?

00:59:36.000 Who sees a gold, weird bronzy gold shirt?

00:59:40.000 Like, if I see a car that color, I have to speed and pull up next to him because I just have to see who the person is.

00:59:47.000 But the jacket is way worse.

00:59:50.000 The jacket is leather, right?

00:59:54.000 But it's a trench coat, but it's also somewhat quilted.

00:59:59.000 You'll see in close-ups, the collar has some sort of a mush, like a thin layer of cotton ball lint that's sort of stitched and quilted in.

01:00:10.000 Look, and his pants are too long.

01:00:13.000 You know the story with him.

01:00:14.000 His friend met a Ukrainian girl online on the internet, and they're happily married, and they're good friends of his.

01:00:20.000 So he wants the same.

01:00:21.000 But the woman that is the family friend, she had a normal dating site, like a Facebook thing that she had to pay for. 0.99

01:00:29.000 And she didn't take money from him and say, buy me flowers, buy me chocolates. 0.89

01:00:34.000 She's not a scam. 0.98

01:00:35.000 Your chick is a scam. 1.00

01:00:36.000 But I guess they finally met in the new episode. 0.93

01:00:40.000 Well, what do I mean?

01:00:41.000 I guess I saw the episode.

01:00:42.000 They do finally meet.

01:00:45.000 It's been seven years in the making.

01:00:47.000 Thousands of hours of chat.

01:00:48.000 I am beyond ready.

01:00:51.000 But my excitement is being tempered by my nervousness.

01:00:55.000 Another thing my daughter pointed out, that's a wig. 1.00

01:00:58.000 It is a wig?

01:00:58.000 He's 60 years old.

01:01:01.000 His hair is perfect in every shot.

01:01:03.000 That same like ch thing.

01:01:06.000 Of what that first meeting is going to be like.

01:01:08.000 He's bald.

01:01:10.000 I want someone who shows affection.

01:01:12.000 Can I get that from just knowing somebody through chat for seven years?

01:01:17.000 This is Independent Square.

01:01:22.000 And the monument that I'm going to meet her in is right there.

01:01:26.000 I told her 11 o'clock at this spot.

01:01:30.000 There is no room for error on this.

01:01:31.000 By the way, you know what I told you in this episode?

01:01:33.000 He arrives on Friday and she goes, I'm sorry, I can't meet you till Monday.

01:01:38.000 I have to go to my nephew's hockey game.

01:01:42.000 I'd like to come.

01:01:43.000 I'm your fiancé.

01:01:45.000 No, it's very just family, very private hockey game that lasts all weekend. 1.00

01:01:51.000 And he just goes, damn, shit. 1.00

01:01:57.000 Her to meet me under the monument. 1.00

01:02:00.000 Everybody knows Independent Square.

01:02:02.000 Everybody knows the monument.

01:02:04.000 There is only one place that could be.

01:02:07.000 Five more minutes.

01:02:10.000 It's a super cold day.

01:02:11.000 So the good thing is that it's so cold that I don't think anybody's going to be here.

01:02:15.000 It's just going to be me and her. 1.00

01:02:17.000 Button up your stupid jacket. 1.00

01:02:20.000 I guarantee that, what is this, TLC? 1.00

01:02:23.000 Just said, we'll give you 500 bucks.

01:02:25.000 You got to show up.

01:02:30.000 Or she caught wind of the show, maybe.

01:02:34.000 Why would she want to be on the show? 0.99

01:02:36.000 She's a scam artist. 1.00

01:02:37.000 1059. 0.57

01:02:42.000 Now I'm starting to get nervous.

01:02:43.000 Imagine living in Eastern Europe. 0.66

01:02:45.000 Everything's so cold and dirty.

01:02:48.000 I don't know what she'll be doing.

01:02:50.000 It's the least cozy part of the world.

01:02:53.000 Look at their rust diorama there.

01:02:57.000 Marble.

01:02:58.000 And they don't have catalytic converters, so every time you touch something, it's soot.

01:03:01.000 China's like that, too.

01:03:02.000 11 o'clock. 0.98

01:03:04.000 Everything is dirty.

01:03:08.000 She's not late yet there, David.

01:03:11.000 You should talk to a pickup artist.

01:03:13.000 Yeah, she wouldn't wait down there.

01:03:15.000 There is another statue across the street.

01:03:20.000 She wouldn't think it was there.

01:03:23.000 Where is Lana?

01:03:24.000 Where is she?

01:03:25.000 I can't take it anymore.

01:03:26.000 Can we fast forward to Lana, please?

01:03:28.000 Or does she not even...

01:03:33.000 That is her.

01:03:37.000 Hi, thanks for the 120 grand.

01:03:44.000 Oh, my God.

01:03:46.000 Oh, you're much fatter than I imagined. 1.00

01:03:49.000 Oh, you're the man who has been masturbating to me and sending me $120,000. 1.00

01:03:55.000 That's me. 1.00

01:03:57.000 It's all a bunch of wankers. 1.00

01:04:00.000 Chronic masturbators. 1.00

01:04:01.000 All right, should we do the... 0.99

01:04:09.000 1-7.

01:04:11.000 Ryan has an interesting theory I haven't brought up yet.

01:04:15.000 Oh, that's this Arash before he had his beard. 0.99

01:04:17.000 Before he had his rash. 0.94

01:04:20.000 Who is that midget? 1.00

01:04:21.000 Where's that midget from? 1.00

01:04:22.000 He's an Italian midget. 1.00

01:04:23.000 Have you seen it? 0.99

01:04:24.000 No, I haven't. 1.00

01:04:25.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:04:26.000 Okay, it's brilliant. 1.00

01:04:27.000 Resource.

01:04:28.000 I haven't.

01:04:28.000 Have you seen it?

01:04:29.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:04:30.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:04:32.000 I haven't, but I watched it. 1.00

01:04:32.000 Have you seen it? 1.00

01:04:34.000 I'm picking up Ecuadorian vibes from his schnaz. 0.97

01:04:37.000 Oh, that's not terrible.

01:04:40.000 It's brilliant.

01:04:41.000 Like, you need to watch it.

01:04:42.000 It's not just a movie.

01:04:43.000 It's a lot.

01:04:44.000 Ecuador would explain the height thing.

01:04:48.000 And yeah, and the rock aware.

01:04:50.000 Like, the rocker wear, excuse me.

01:04:52.000 They love mana and mago de Os.

01:04:55.000 But the scene where he's...

01:04:56.000 Yeah, but that's not...

01:04:58.000 He comes from a...

01:05:01.000 Look at 2-0.

01:05:03.000 I was looking at 2-0s. 0.89

01:05:08.000 This is on Vince Kelvin's own site.

01:05:10.000 2-0, I said.

01:05:16.000 So you get a good look at his face here.

01:05:20.000 There should be an app where you can just plug in a face and it tells you like the 23andMe just by the bone structure.

01:05:26.000 Okay, scroll down.

01:05:28.000 That was on Steve Harvey.

01:05:31.000 Keep going.

01:05:33.000 There.

01:05:34.000 Oh.

01:05:36.000 Is that Ecuador?

01:05:37.000 No.

01:05:38.000 It looks pretty Italian to me.

01:05:39.000 It looks Italian.

01:05:40.000 Yeah, Roberto Benini. 1.00

01:05:42.000 Yeah, and Italians are fucking shrimps. 1.00

01:05:46.000 No, like if you go to Italy, I recommend you go to Italy. 1.00

01:05:50.000 Well, I can't go. 1.00

01:05:52.000 You're too retarded to get on a plane. 1.00

01:05:54.000 But no, you go to Italy, you go to your used clothing store, and all the suits are super tight and pee-hermin-y, which I like. 0.99

01:06:01.000 There's nothing worse than a big suit.

01:06:03.000 The Milano fit.

01:06:04.000 And that's because they're all like midgets who are wearing oversized suits. 1.00

01:06:08.000 So it ends up fitting you perfectly.

01:06:09.000 That's why they have great fabric, too.

01:06:10.000 They don't have to use very much of it.

01:06:14.000 Yeah, very Italian. 0.99

01:06:15.000 So anyway, Ryan's theory is that they're fags. 0.99

01:06:15.000 I'm picking up. 0.99

01:06:18.000 Yeah.

01:06:18.000 And they're trying to seem like macho guys in front of these nerds.

01:06:24.000 And they're like, I pick up women, I eat the vaginas. 1.00

01:06:27.000 Yeah, the way they talk about sex reminds me of the 40-year-old virgin. 1.00

01:06:30.000 You know, when you're fucking and you switch holes. 1.00

01:06:34.000 No, switch holes. 0.99

01:06:36.000 Maybe in pornography they do that, but it's not really a thing.

01:06:36.000 No.

01:06:40.000 And they love pink so much and they love makeup so much.

01:06:43.000 Yeah.

01:06:44.000 We'll show these clips.

01:06:45.000 Well, look at 1-8.

01:06:50.000 That's something they've never looked at.

01:06:51.000 1-8.

01:06:52.000 There was the outer appearance, and there was what was really happening. 0.99

01:06:57.000 I can meet a woman and go, that bitch will be in my future as long as I can talk to her. 1.00

01:07:04.000 If my future, she accepts it, she does better. 0.99

01:07:08.000 She lives better, then I don't have to apologize for taking that.

01:07:12.000 He's still holding that imagination for me.

01:07:17.000 I'm going to get everything out of you.

01:07:18.000 Yeah, she's scared.

01:07:18.000 Whoa!

01:07:19.000 She's going to fall.

01:07:21.000 Now, the beautiful part of you and I is that my friendship with you is first. 0.99

01:07:25.000 Thick, thin, good, bad, ugly, whatever the fuck it is. 0.98

01:07:30.000 Ryan's theory is, and I'll add something to it. 1.00

01:07:34.000 He gets these losers, you get them drunk, you take them to a strip club, they get all horny, and then you somehow, sort of like Tiger King with the meth guys, you brainwash them into thinking getting a blowjob is not really gay. 0.99

01:07:48.000 That's just what buddies are. 1.00

01:07:49.000 Like, look, you touch her like this.

01:07:51.000 See how I put my hand on your leg like this? 1.00

01:07:53.000 Here, let me show you how good a blowjob can feel. 1.00

01:07:55.000 And you're going to be getting one of them from a girl. 1.00

01:08:00.000 And they're like drunk and tired and sad.

01:08:04.000 And they're so excited to be with these cool guys who have sort of mohawks and tattoos. 0.99

01:08:12.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:08:13.000 That they blow them. 1.00

01:08:14.000 Yeah.

01:08:15.000 Would real cool guys let just nerds all hang out with them on tattoos?

01:08:20.000 Yeah.

01:08:21.000 That's our event, the global SLR, Playboy Radio.

01:08:24.000 They're showing off for them.

01:08:25.000 Okay, go back.

01:08:26.000 Now, look at 1.9. 0.98

01:08:27.000 Because that 1.8 I showed you was very gay. 0.99

01:08:30.000 1.9 is also extremely gay. 0.97

01:08:34.000 And then there was the outer appearance. 0.94

01:08:36.000 Is that 1.9?

01:08:38.000 Yeah, it's two time codes.

01:08:39.000 There's two under one.

01:08:40.000 Oh, I see.

01:08:40.000 Yeah.

01:08:41.000 Okay, so show that time.

01:08:42.000 That was just a particularly gay moment in that same video.

01:08:44.000 Okay.

01:08:45.000 So here, this one, right?

01:08:46.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, this one.

01:08:48.000 Without a doubt, you throw a guy to go in a room.

01:08:53.000 Okay?

01:08:53.000 Let him be there for a very long time and nobody else.

01:08:55.000 Something's going to happen with those two.

01:08:57.000 Like over the years, you know?

01:08:59.000 Over the years.

01:09:00.000 You don't have to teach them.

01:09:01.000 Throw two women. 1.00

01:09:03.000 You put a man and a woman in a room for years and they're going to end up fucking? 1.00

01:09:06.000 Yeah, probably. 1.00

01:09:09.000 They're also going to go insane.

01:09:13.000 Are you feeding them?

01:09:13.000 Good tips.

01:09:14.000 Good pickup tips. 1.00

01:09:15.000 At some point, his penis is going to get hard, she's going to get aroused, and they're going to explore and figure this shit out. 1.00

01:09:22.000 No one has to come up with that. 1.00

01:09:23.000 You're a genius.

01:09:23.000 Right?

01:09:26.000 Why are we allowing immigrants to come here from Iran? 0.99

01:09:29.000 By religion.

01:09:29.000 Bye.

01:09:30.000 All right, let's close the show-ish. 1.00

01:09:36.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 0.99

01:09:41.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00

01:09:46.000 Let me touch it.

01:09:50.000 This is from Lara.

01:09:51.000 Lara?

01:09:52.000 Hey, did you zoom in more?

01:09:54.000 No.

01:09:56.000 On you?

01:09:56.000 Yeah.

01:09:57.000 No.

01:09:59.000 I thought my helmet was in frame.

01:10:01.000 Maybe because did you knock it with the microphone?

01:10:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:10:04.000 I got this from in Japan.

01:10:07.000 Oh, nice.

01:10:07.000 And it's a triple XL, and it barely fits on my head.

01:10:11.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's another shrimpish gland. 0.99

01:10:15.000 Holy crap. 0.98

01:10:16.000 Look, my beard sticks out of the bottom. 1.00

01:10:20.000 But you look like a stormtrooper.

01:10:23.000 Yeah. 0.56

01:10:25.000 My dad used to be a motor psychoresa.

01:10:28.000 I think he was into some mischief.

01:10:30.000 Nothing wrong with that.

01:10:36.000 My son and I are really into dad jokes.

01:10:38.000 He would post them on a whiteboard on the outside of his dorm room door to amuse his classmates.

01:10:42.000 He picked up a new joke book yesterday while running some errands.

01:10:45.000 We were sampling his new material when we came across this little gem.

01:10:48.000 The joke itself was not very funny, but the cruel irony gave us a chuckle.

01:10:51.000 I guess you could file this in things that didn't age well.

01:10:55.000 Like you more than a friend, Lara.

01:10:57.000 What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Time?

01:11:00.000 Whoops.

01:11:02.000 Now he has passed. 1.00

01:11:04.000 Yes, you can say my name because I don't give a fuck you with my heels on what anyone thinks. 1.00

01:11:09.000 There you go. 0.99

01:11:11.000 You should remember that when you feel anxious about something.

01:11:14.000 Like you have to go to a party and you're like, I don't really know anyone there.

01:11:18.000 And if it sucks, leave.

01:11:18.000 Just go check it out.

01:11:20.000 You're not marrying this party. 0.84

01:11:22.000 You get invited to some seminar or something.

01:11:24.000 Check it out.

01:11:25.000 And if it's boring, stand up and walk out. 0.99

01:11:28.000 Now, I know if you're on a cruise and you go to their comedy club and you sit in the front, and after 15 minutes you decide this sucks, and you're one of seven people and you have to stand up and walk out, yeah, that can be pretty rough, but fuck it. 0.99

01:11:44.000 That's the guilt tip. 0.98

01:11:45.000 You're the customer that you're you mentioned in the strip club, the guilt tip. 0.85

01:11:50.000 Oh, yeah, did I mention that in the video?

01:11:52.000 You did, I think.

01:11:53.000 We did a couple takes, but yeah, those fat uglies, especially if you're in a strip club like in Greenpoint or the Bronx or Long Island City, and it's like early.

01:12:08.000 It's like a Monday at 4 p.m. 0.98

01:12:10.000 That's when they really roll out the pigs. 1.00

01:12:13.000 Hey, Gavin Ryan, any tips for getting hard and fucking chicks while drunk as shit? 1.00

01:12:19.000 I'm 18 years old and I never have an issue when sober, but when I drink, it's tough. 0.99

01:12:23.000 I've had a few close calls in the past where I almost couldn't get it up, blah, blah, blah.

01:12:28.000 We have Blue Chew, our sponsor, and if you use the promo code Gavin, you get they only have to pay for shipping. 0.99

01:12:35.000 But my friend Dan Morrissey once said, smelling a girl's ass, the poor man's Viagra, her butt cheeks. 1.00

01:12:44.000 And I think it's because you're kind of shocked that you like it and you go, Jesus, I'm a real pig. 1.00

01:12:52.000 I don't like the butt cheeks. 0.98

01:12:53.000 You have a coconut smasher. 1.00

01:12:55.000 Or sometimes just thinking about her ass, even though she's right there, will save the day. 1.00

01:13:01.000 I hate your ass. 1.00

01:13:06.000 That's what dreams are made of. 1.00

01:13:09.000 You better have You Hurt Me today. 0.99

01:13:11.000 You know what I have to do?

01:13:12.000 I have to counter the music in it.

01:13:14.000 So I have to like, because there's music full-blown in it.

01:13:18.000 So?

01:13:19.000 Okay.

01:13:20.000 You have hurt me today.

01:13:22.000 Hey, Gavin, Ryan, love your show.

01:13:24.000 I'm confident you've seen this before, but sometimes it's good to have a refresher.

01:13:26.000 Seems timely.

01:13:26.000 It's about a four-minute gig.

01:13:28.000 Chris Rock, How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police. 0.99

01:13:30.000 Yeah, we've seen that before. 0.99

01:13:31.000 Thank you, Elizabeth, for showing us something we've all seen a million times.

01:13:37.000 Hey, Gabarino, in episode 162, you showed a video of two cops from Canada forming someone.

01:13:43.000 I'm a paramedic in Alberta and I...

01:13:49.000 What's forming?

01:13:49.000 Isn't that what sex is when you're married?

01:13:52.000 Were they made of clay?

01:13:52.000 Were they sculpting them?

01:13:54.000 Can you read your letters before you send them to us?

01:13:56.000 I'm a paramedic in Alberta, and I have to...

01:14:01.000 I'm not sure if what those cops did was actually legal.

01:14:04.000 A Form 10 or a Form 2 is an order under the Mental Health Act.

01:14:09.000 It allows you to hold someone for 24 hours against their will, pending assessment by a physician in regards to patients' mental state.

01:14:14.000 Usually you can only form somebody.

01:14:16.000 What is he talking about?

01:14:17.000 Those forms he had, remember?

01:14:19.000 That were passed down.

01:14:22.000 Usually you can only form somebody if they have intentions to harm themselves or intent to harm others or if they're a danger to themselves.

01:14:30.000 I understand that Canada was never a free country, but if peacefully protesting is now considered a danger to yourself and others, then I shudder to think where we'll be in 10 years.

01:14:37.000 Maybe it's the booze talking, but I kind of thought, and this isn't very liberty, but if someone's going to kill themselves, we send police over for a wellness check.

01:14:48.000 If you're on a hunger strike, aren't you trying to kill yourself?

01:14:52.000 No, it's your right. 0.96

01:14:53.000 Sorry.

01:14:56.000 But the law says harm to yourself and others.

01:14:59.000 That's a hunger strike is harm to yourself.

01:15:01.000 So aren't they just following the law?

01:15:04.000 I think it does fall under.

01:15:05.000 Where's this little cuff to happen?

01:15:11.000 Here's a rapper I think is very attractive.

01:15:13.000 I'd give her a 7.8.

01:15:20.000 I'm going to say that's pretty accurate.

01:15:26.000 Perfect amount of fat.

01:15:28.000 Yep, 7.8.

01:15:30.000 She should make a rock band called Thin Lizzo. 0.84

01:15:33.000 Not bad.

01:15:35.000 This is from Levi.

01:15:36.000 Oh, no makeup they put attitude.

01:15:40.000 Oh, wow. 1.00

01:15:41.000 Total fucking smoke show. 1.00

01:15:43.000 It's very Hawaiian, right? 1.00

01:15:44.000 Sure.

01:15:45.000 Like that cartoon.

01:15:47.000 Lilo and Stitcher Moana.

01:15:49.000 Isn't it funny how I talk about something adult, like a book, Albion Seed or something, and you never have any idea.

01:15:56.000 The second I mention anything kid, you're like, oh yeah, that's when Super Grover had a fight with Elmo, and they didn't speak until Big Bird made them be friends again.

01:16:08.000 Just want to let you guys know I looked up historical temps for Waco during the timeframe of the events.

01:16:13.000 Thank you, sir.

01:16:14.000 April 19th, the last day, it was 74.

01:16:18.000 March 16th, the midpoint, it was 66.

01:16:21.000 I don't think I could wear a sweater at 66.

01:16:25.000 I think I'd start having a panic attack.

01:16:27.000 By the way, in case you're not familiar, we were totally distracted in that awesome Netflix series, Waco, by the V-neck sweaters that are crowbarred into every scene. 0.98

01:16:36.000 I think the stylist spent her entire budget on V-neck sweaters and had to put a different one in every fucking shot. 1.00

01:16:43.000 And you don't wear sweaters in Texas ever. 0.97

01:16:46.000 They're not basing that off of the footage, right?

01:16:48.000 Or the real people? 0.99

01:16:49.000 Shut up. 0.99

01:16:51.000 February 28th, day one, it was 54. 1.00

01:16:53.000 Even 54 is too...

01:16:56.000 And I was riding my motorcycle on the highway.

01:16:59.000 My hands got a little chilly, but I had my t-shirt.

01:17:03.000 I wasn't wearing this.

01:17:04.000 I'm wearing this because it's the last day of Brooks Brothers Week.

01:17:07.000 And I felt cool air on my t-shirt.

01:17:10.000 That's a motorcycle, which lowers the temperature by like 10.

01:17:14.000 I don't think the sweaters are historically accurate.

01:17:17.000 Thank you, Levi.

01:17:18.000 Are you an Indian?

01:17:19.000 American Indian?

01:17:21.000 I've only ever met Indian Levi's. 1.00

01:17:24.000 Hey guy, I thought you would enjoy this video of a guy destroying a Toronto cop car while the female officer does fuck all. 0.99

01:17:31.000 The confrontation tases him and runs away. 0.99

01:17:34.000 The confrontation ends when a male cop arrives and takes the guy down with ease. 1.00

01:17:37.000 Just another example of how totally useless female cops are. 1.00

01:17:41.000 We don't call them female cops anymore. 1.00

01:17:43.000 They are human radios.

01:17:45.000 Right.

01:17:45.000 Exactly.

01:17:46.000 Can somebody film this?

01:17:47.000 Yeah.

01:17:51.000 Look at that.

01:17:53.000 Give her a gun or don't give her a badge. 1.00

01:17:57.000 Look at how useless she is. 1.00

01:18:00.000 By the way, he's been brainwashed by all this propaganda. 1.00

01:18:04.000 So he's.

01:18:04.000 The propaganda has put his life in danger.

01:18:07.000 Because if that cop was armed, they would be justified in shooting him.

01:18:13.000 Thanks for helping out, lady.

01:18:15.000 Oh, no. 0.90

01:18:16.000 You almost hit her with that freaking. 0.99

01:18:21.000 Just run, lady. 1.00

01:18:22.000 Nobody wants you to come.

01:18:23.000 Thanks for helping out.

01:18:25.000 Thanks for coming out.

01:18:27.000 Drive away, buddy.

01:18:31.000 But she didn't have a taser on her at the time.

01:18:34.000 Now she's finally got her.

01:18:35.000 Oh.

01:18:36.000 It's a taser.

01:18:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:18:39.000 This reminds me of European cops. 0.76

01:18:46.000 Oh, you got a lot of angles on this.

01:18:48.000 Hi, I'm a man.

01:18:50.000 I have good upper body.

01:18:53.000 What are you doing?

01:18:54.000 It's coming to an end there.

01:18:56.000 Oh, we don't get to see it?

01:18:59.000 Oh, there you go.

01:19:00.000 And boom. 0.96

01:19:02.000 And look at her strut over after she takes him down. 1.00

01:19:05.000 Thanks.

01:19:06.000 That was a great clip, Nick. 1.00

01:19:09.000 Dear Gav and the fag. 1.00

01:19:12.000 I don't get it. 0.99

01:19:13.000 I was watching episode 162 from Tuesday at 148 in which you rate girls with perfect chub.

01:19:18.000 Ryan complains because she has nipple knees and quote-unquote looks degenerate on an album cover.

01:19:24.000 He is spiritually female. 0.97

01:19:27.000 And it continues to astound me. 0.99

01:19:28.000 Yeah, he calls his apartment the fag zone. 0.89

01:19:31.000 I've never called it zone.

01:19:32.000 That should be the first tip.

01:19:34.000 It's not anything I've ever said.

01:19:36.000 This is from Joshua.

01:19:37.000 I just finished Death of the West.

01:19:38.000 It's crazy how it seems more pertinent now than in 2001.

01:19:43.000 Which book from Milo's America First do you think would be best to read after the Death of the West?

01:19:48.000 Heels, Sunglasses?

01:19:51.000 I think the best book is a book I'm reading right now, and it's called Warning to the West.

01:20:01.000 And it is by the guy who did the Gulag Archipelago, Alexander Solzhenitsyn.

01:20:10.000 Solzhenitsyn.

01:20:11.000 It's just a collection of his speeches transcribed.

01:20:13.000 It's just a thin little book.

01:20:14.000 It's a fun read.

01:20:16.000 And then maybe Mark Stein?

01:20:22.000 What's a good Mark Stein book?

01:20:28.000 I find Mark Stein pretty dense.

01:20:31.000 Maybe Mark Stein America Alone.

01:20:35.000 Or After America. 0.59

01:20:38.000 Those are good ones.

01:20:39.000 And then you can join me in reading Albion Seed, which I haven't been doing a very good job at.

01:20:44.000 I've been getting so drunk at night that I usually pass out by 10 p.m. and don't remember anything.

01:20:51.000 Oh, when you read, you don't remember what you read.

01:20:53.000 Oh, that stinks, yeah.

01:20:57.000 This is from William.

01:20:59.000 Hello, Gav, Monesti. 0.99

01:21:01.000 That's Quebecoa for hello, Gav, my, well, it means the host, but it basically means fuck. 1.00

01:21:07.000 It basically means, hey, Gav, you fucker. 0.99

01:21:10.000 I like when you talk about movies and TV shows and when you give us your non-political opinions about general culture. 0.99

01:21:14.000 Another way of changing people, other than implicitly telling them to do what to do or swearing at them for doing something wrong, like you do with Ryan, is recommending TV shows, books, and movies that would improve their personalities and increase their IQ.

01:21:25.000 These would not necessarily be about politics or the culture wars.

01:21:28.000 Would love a weekly show.

01:21:30.000 Also, could you talk about the Ricky Gervais show on air?

01:21:33.000 C'est d'rol on tabarnak.

01:21:35.000 And can I get a job on your show?

01:21:37.000 No and no.

01:21:39.000 Uh, coolman.

01:21:42.000 Kuhlman.

01:21:43.000 You've told the story of Albert Hammond Jr. and the strokes a million times.

01:21:47.000 It's one of your quote-unquote hits.

01:21:49.000 During that time, did you ever run into Ryan Adams?

01:21:52.000 They say he hung with the strokes and he actually got Albert hooked on heroin.

01:21:55.000 Yeah, I did hear that.

01:21:57.000 No, I've never met him. 1.00

01:21:59.000 But I did hear he was a real fucker with that. 1.00

01:22:01.000 And by the way, if you introduce people to heroin and they die, you're a mass murderer. 1.00

01:22:09.000 Corey B. Horrible attempt at proving racism. 0.84

01:22:15.000 Supposedly, this is a good representation to prove racism killed, armed robbery, or whatever that copper thief's name is.

01:22:21.000 Thoughts?

01:22:22.000 Keep up the good work.

01:22:27.000 An episode of Cops.

01:22:29.000 I'm running with the TV.

01:22:30.000 Someone's gonna stop me now for sure.

01:22:32.000 Because if not, what was the problem with the mod?

01:22:39.000 Oh, hey, hey.

01:22:45.000 All right, I figured it out.

01:22:47.000 I got my hat on backwards.

01:22:48.000 I'm shirtless.

01:22:49.000 Like I'm on some episode of Cops.

01:22:51.000 I'm running with the TV.

01:22:52.000 Someone's gonna stop me now for sure.

01:22:54.000 Because if not.

01:22:57.000 There had been repeated break-ins at that construction site.

01:23:01.000 A. Michael, Greg McNeil, whatever his name was, McMichael, recognized the perp because he'd arrested him before for bringing an illegal gun to school.

01:23:11.000 And we noticed patterns.

01:23:14.000 Generally, when you see, you don't see white people running with TVs. 0.98

01:23:17.000 When you see blacks running with TVs, a disproportionate number of them have stolen said TV. 1.00

01:23:23.000 They are overrepresented in petty crime. 0.99

01:23:27.000 Oh, look, here I am.

01:23:28.000 Just, I'm here to help an old lady. 1.00

01:23:35.000 Again, we know the Ahmed Arbery thing is bullshit and people are clinging to this stupid narrative that he was jogging. 0.99

01:23:43.000 But the real question we need to crack as a team is why? 0.99

01:23:48.000 Why does that guy want it to be an example of racism?

01:23:52.000 That's what I might spend the rest of my life trying to figure out.

01:23:58.000 It keeps going to a whole other thing?

01:24:01.000 What's the other thing? 1.00

01:24:02.000 Crap. 1.00

01:24:06.000 Keep going. 1.00

01:24:07.000 Who's that chief in the t-shirt thing?

01:24:09.000 This guy.

01:24:10.000 Politician.

01:24:11.000 What is this?

01:24:12.000 It's the very people you'd think.

01:24:13.000 Politicians, the ultra-rich.

01:24:15.000 Ooh, the ultra-rich.

01:24:16.000 I hate the ultra-rich.

01:24:17.000 Media mobile.

01:24:18.000 Monarchs?

01:24:19.000 Hi, I'm Sean Morrow, the host of WhoIS the Podcast, the first podcast from Now This and iHeartRadio.

01:24:26.000 On Who Is, I'll dive deep into the fascinating lives of the people who run things.

01:24:31.000 The globalists, you mean George Soros, where you'll be raking him over the coals?

01:24:35.000 How did they get where they are today?

01:24:37.000 And knowing that, what might they do next?

01:24:40.000 How do they use all this power they've accumulated?

01:24:42.000 Boy, if there's one thing I love, it's being lectured by a 21-year-old about life and the power structure of the political system.

01:24:52.000 Can you tell me about Jared Kushner, please?

01:24:54.000 Can you tell me about globalism and free trade?

01:24:58.000 Please.

01:24:59.000 I love listening to children tell me about the world.

01:25:06.000 Jake.

01:25:08.000 Gavin, is it in essence or is it in a sense?

01:25:13.000 It's in a sense.

01:25:14.000 Also, here's a very well-known lone gummon clip with spooky 9-11 foreshadowing that retard Ryan couldn't find last week. 1.00

01:25:21.000 Love you, Ryan, but fuck guy, eh? 0.99

01:25:24.000 It's like four minutes, but I'm pretty sure you get a kick out of it. 1.00

01:25:26.000 It's beyond weird. 0.99

01:25:27.000 Hope you guys are doing good, and I want to suck you with my funglasses. 1.00

01:25:30.000 No homos. 1.00

01:25:33.000 If some terrorist group wants to act out this scenario, why target you for assassination?

01:25:40.000 Depends on who your terrorists are.

01:25:47.000 Well, we'd already had the World Trade Center attacked, right?

01:25:49.000 ...to commit a terrorist act against a domestic airline.

01:25:51.000 There you go.

01:25:52.000 Inditing the entire government, as usual, to faction.

01:25:55.000 A small faction for what possible gain?

01:25:59.000 The Cold War is over, Jesus.

01:26:01.000 But there's no clear space against the arms market factors.

01:26:05.000 But bring down a fully loaded 727 to the middle of New York City, and you'll find a dozen tin past dictators all over the world just climbing to take responsibility. 0.93

01:26:15.000 Begging to be smart.

01:26:17.000 I can't believe this.

01:26:18.000 This is about increasing arms sales.

01:26:22.000 When?

01:26:24.000 Tonight.

01:26:25.000 How are you going to do it?

01:26:26.000 It's interesting.

01:26:27.000 Thank you.

01:26:28.000 That's what it looks like.

01:26:29.000 This is from Joe, the old firm Casuals, Perry Boy's official video.

01:26:34.000 I know this is five years old, but will they come for Lars next?

01:26:36.000 I know this is five years old, but will they come for Lars next?

01:26:51.000 You know what's weird? 0.83

01:26:52.000 I like Lars Fredrickson a lot, but he has like his Lars Fredrickson and the Bastards, and those songs are all fucking epic.

01:27:02.000 And then he has these songs that are just sort of mediocre.

01:27:05.000 I think What's His Name wrote all the songs for that?

01:27:09.000 All I want to do is fight.

01:27:11.000 Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose.

01:27:13.000 It's like Courtney Love, when she was with Kurt Cobain, she had all these Olympia, awesome songs, and then after he died, she just was a mediocre musician.

01:27:23.000 Tim, what's his name from Rancid?

01:27:25.000 Of course you don't know.

01:27:26.000 It's not related to Elmo.

01:27:29.000 Tim Armstrong?

01:27:30.000 Yeah, Tim Armstrong.

01:27:32.000 Tim Armstrong has one of those one in a million abilities to just start pumping out hits.

01:27:38.000 And after he's got like $10 million in the bank, he's like, hey, dude, I'll write you some hits.

01:27:41.000 just put your name on him.

01:27:49.000 Fred Perrys are incredibly common, dude.

01:27:50.000 What are you talking about?

01:27:54.000 Go to the streets?

01:27:57.000 Brock Tease.

01:27:57.000 All right.

01:27:58.000 But it is funny how I remember when the Proud Boys began, I kept getting asked by journalists, why did you choose a shirt that is so quickly associated with Nazi skins?

01:28:08.000 Like, it isn't.

01:28:09.000 Ever heard of Mods?

01:28:10.000 Ever heard of the streets?

01:28:11.000 Ever heard of Amy Winehouse?

01:28:14.000 I mean, what are you talking about?

01:28:15.000 It's just like a British geezer shirt.

01:28:19.000 And they never said that to the streets when he started wearing it.

01:28:24.000 They just had to crowbar it in.

01:28:27.000 First off, Gavin is right.

01:28:29.000 Ryan is wrong.

01:28:30.000 Agreed. 0.99

01:28:32.000 That's what living in the fag zone will do. 1.00

01:28:33.000 It makes you always wrong. 0.99

01:28:35.000 Just about everything?

01:28:36.000 Ryan, until you own a car or anything that is an engine, don't give advice to people that have those things.

01:28:41.000 Ryan's mom was doing it right.

01:28:42.000 If you talk to a mechanic, they will tell you not to let your tank go below half.

01:28:46.000 If you go to empty, your fuel pump will go out sooner, which is about $1,400 to fix.

01:28:51.000 The other reason is emergencies, like getting stuck in the snow or stranded somewhere.

01:28:55.000 You now have a heat slash AC for more time.

01:28:58.000 Your parents, mine, are doing it the worst way possible.

01:29:02.000 They will spend more money on repairs because they are more likely to ruin the fuel pump.

01:29:06.000 That reminds me, my motorcycle's idling really loud.

01:29:10.000 I think it's a pretty simple fix.

01:29:12.000 That's what's so cool about YouTube.

01:29:14.000 You go, hey, when I indicate right on my motorcycle, it goes hazards.

01:29:19.000 It doesn't go right or left.

01:29:20.000 YouTube it, boom, video right there shows you exactly what to do.

01:29:23.000 Hey, I'm on the highway.

01:29:26.000 Not on the highway, sorry, but I'm during that funeral procession.

01:29:29.000 I'm stuck at a red light.

01:29:30.000 I Google how to fix the idling on a Triumph Bonneville.

01:29:34.000 Bloop, there's a video.

01:29:37.000 Look at this cringe.

01:29:38.000 I was driving by this house in my work truck and spotted this gem.

01:29:43.000 Keep up the fantastic work. 1.00

01:29:45.000 Scientists, doctors, nurses, first responders, fuck off. 1.00

01:29:50.000 They're really ruining their job. 1.00

01:29:52.000 This is like when the FDNY does that sexy calendar. 0.98

01:29:56.000 I just go, guys, the role of a doctor, an ER guy, a cop, a fireman is to be stoic.

01:30:03.000 That's what I love about baseball. 1.00

01:30:06.000 They get a fucking home run. 1.00

01:30:07.000 They don't do a stupid little dance in the end zone. 1.00

01:30:10.000 They just run the field in a normal way to continue the game. 1.00

01:30:14.000 They run the bases, walk off home plate, get some high fives, that's it. 0.99

01:30:18.000 There's no like, yeah, fucking, I rock. 0.99

01:30:25.000 Okay, this is the last one. 0.99

01:30:27.000 With all this spending, $1.8 trillion ongoing from the federal government, I have total disgust for both political parties, especially democratic socialism.

01:30:36.000 I consider myself a fiscal conservative, minimal government influence, spending, blah, blah, blah.

01:30:40.000 I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico.

01:30:42.000 What I see in the bureaucrats' mindset in this time of crisis, they are leaning into Keynesian economics.

01:30:49.000 Keynesian economics argued that an interventionist government could help smooth out recessions by using fiscal policy to prop up aggregate demand.

01:30:58.000 I disagree.

01:30:59.000 What are your Thoughts on how the government should have dealt with the pandemic in terms of fiscal policy?

01:31:03.000 What consequences will unfold in the future?

01:31:06.000 Stagnation, higher taxes, inflation?

01:31:08.000 What are your thoughts on Milton Friedman?

01:31:10.000 I think he was a brilliant man.

01:31:13.000 I love the show.

01:31:14.000 I'd love to hear more and see more interviews as you did in the past, like Charles C. Johnson, Matt Welsh, Kat Tempt, Telief Strux, and the best, KT McFarland.

01:31:21.000 Thanks.

01:31:22.000 Also, the drawings Gavin makes on air should be sold to your viewers.

01:31:25.000 Yeah, I guess I'll start selling those drawings and donate the money to justiceforliberty.com.

01:31:34.000 We'll get on that.

01:31:35.000 Nothing wrong with that.

01:31:37.000 Nothing.

01:31:39.000 I should set, so there's websites you can do charity auctions, right?

01:31:43.000 Yep. 0.99

01:31:43.000 I guarantee you I will get booted for trying to raise money for little black kids. 0.99

01:31:52.000 What was I going to say, though? 0.99

01:31:53.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:55.000 The answer to your question is the government is incapable of anything.

01:31:59.000 I don't want them involved in anything but keeping us safe with police force, not even fire departments, police force and military, enforcing the borders, ICE, just our safety.

01:32:10.000 I want to privatize education, privatize the energy sector.

01:32:10.000 That's it.

01:32:16.000 As John Stossel says, I'll give you a thousand bucks for everything you can show me that the government does better than the private market.

01:32:22.000 Oh yeah, you hate roads?

01:32:24.000 Dude, it costs me 20 bucks to go upstate and back with all these tolls.

01:32:28.000 The roads are already privatized.

01:32:31.000 So stop talking about roads and healthcare?

01:32:34.000 Yeah, you had an argument when we were a normal country, but with an obesity epidemic and 30 million illegals, there's just too much abuse going on to have free Medicare.

01:32:47.000 So no, not even that.

01:32:50.000 All right, let's end the show with some fun stuff.

01:32:53.000 We like to end it with a kooky video.

01:32:54.000 I'm sorry this show is late.

01:32:57.000 I was at a funeral.

01:32:59.000 First of all, 2-1. 0.95

01:33:01.000 this looks really fucking fun and it must feel like what it feels like to be Superman. 0.85

01:33:14.000 How do they film this? 0.96

01:33:16.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:33:21.000 I don't understand how you film this.

01:33:24.000 A drone?

01:33:25.000 I don't know if a drone could follow a person that quick.

01:33:28.000 There's got to be maybe some sort of thing hanging from the overall thing.

01:33:31.000 But you don't see it and there's no, like, there's no thing going from his helmet to a camera.

01:33:36.000 Right.

01:33:37.000 But when he drops, it like kind of drops too.

01:33:39.000 does like a bound like right there I'm confused.

01:33:51.000 That must be so fun.

01:33:52.000 I want to do that.

01:33:55.000 Reverse bungee jumping.

01:33:59.000 Yeah, and after you do the initial thing, you're just weightless.

01:34:03.000 Yeah.

01:34:04.000 Cannot figure out how that was filmed.

01:34:07.000 If that guy was using a drone, we need him in the military stat.

01:34:14.000 Here's a thing that's going around.

01:34:16.000 They say Jeff Goldblum lookalike.

01:34:18.000 I don't really see it, but it was two ex-Marines and some drunk guy with no shirt on said something rapey about the other guy's wife.

01:34:23.000 So he said, let's fight.

01:34:25.000 This is the way life should be.

01:34:27.000 Mutual combat.

01:34:29.000 Don't call the cops.

01:34:30.000 Don't sue anyone.

01:34:32.000 This is a great fight.

01:34:38.000 Don't tall guys have reach.

01:34:39.000 I hate fighting tall guys. 1.00

01:34:42.000 I can never get to their fucking head. 1.00

01:34:48.000 Boom, boom. 1.00

01:34:50.000 Great use of a kick.

01:34:51.000 I've never seen so much kicking in a fight.

01:34:53.000 And then a roundhouse kick, and then some punches.

01:34:56.000 You're done.

01:34:57.000 So now he's having trouble recovering.

01:34:58.000 And then...

01:35:03.000 You told him, like, just stay right there.

01:35:05.000 He, like, preps him for it.

01:35:07.000 I love that.

01:35:08.000 I love a rib kick. 0.86

01:35:10.000 I hate when they catch a criminal robbing them and they punch him in the face a bunch of times and throw him around.

01:35:14.000 He's going to be fine in like a day.

01:35:16.000 You break someone's ribs like six weeks.

01:35:21.000 You can't sneeze.

01:35:22.000 You can't laugh.

01:35:23.000 You need help getting out of bed.

01:35:26.000 If someone robs my store, I'm not even going to punch them in the face. 0.99

01:35:30.000 I'm going to get them on the ground and just really destroy the ribs. 0.99

01:35:34.000 That will give them something to remember. 0.86

01:35:36.000 A face?

01:35:36.000 There's a skull in a face.

01:35:38.000 Oh, I have a black eye.

01:35:39.000 It looks cool.

01:35:40.000 Thanks a lot.

01:35:41.000 Ooh, I got a bloody nose.

01:35:42.000 Ooh, ooh, my nose is broken.

01:35:45.000 You reset it, boom.

01:35:47.000 So that's the guy who posted it.

01:35:51.000 Leo Senpai.

01:35:52.000 What does senpai mean, Nip?

01:35:55.000 Like daddy or master or something like that?

01:35:58.000 Isn't that sensei?

01:35:59.000 Did you notice me, senpai?

01:36:02.000 I know it contextually, but not necessarily.

01:36:08.000 He's got a bunch of tweets of this fight because it went viral.

01:36:17.000 That was such a good move.

01:36:19.000 Oh, my God.

01:36:22.000 Great fighting, sir.

01:36:24.000 Okay, go back.

01:36:26.000 I don't care.

01:36:27.000 But let's see.

01:36:28.000 Someone added music to it.

01:36:33.000 Oh yeah, another angle.

01:36:34.000 We're on the bench.

01:36:35.000 We're on the bench.

01:36:40.000 That's how equipped everyone is with phones now.

01:36:43.000 Anything goes on, and there's three angles. 0.99

01:36:46.000 Open your window, dickhead. 0.99

01:36:51.000 Did your window not open? 1.00

01:36:53.000 This is terrible.

01:36:54.000 Scroll down.

01:36:56.000 Someone had a music.

01:36:59.000 That's round two.

01:37:01.000 What?

01:37:01.000 Round two?

01:37:03.000 The guy's got a weapon.

01:37:05.000 Now he's using his shirt against him.

01:37:06.000 He said he was going to call the coffee.

01:37:07.000 Oh, now he's got the stick.

01:37:08.000 Adina, your car.

01:37:11.000 Okay, is there round three? 1.00

01:37:13.000 Man, the myth, the fucking legend. 0.99

01:37:18.000 He wants a picture with you. 1.00

01:37:20.000 No.

01:37:22.000 The man.

01:37:22.000 Oh, that's him?

01:37:23.000 Yeah.

01:37:24.000 Just smoking a cig.

01:37:26.000 But is there one with music to it?

01:37:28.000 Let's run.

01:37:32.000 Run.

01:37:33.000 Finish him. 0.96

01:37:50.000 So GoFundMe for the GoBloom Doppelganger.

01:37:55.000 Why?

01:37:55.000 What does he deserve money for?

01:37:56.000 I don't know.

01:37:58.000 Jesus, they're raising money for Alex so they can send his body back to Mexico so he can be buried with his father.

01:38:04.000 This guy doesn't deserve $2,000 for winning a fight.

01:38:08.000 Or a SoundCloud rap.

01:38:11.000 Oh, they made a song about him?

01:38:21.000 I saw one that had added funny music to it.

01:38:28.000 What are you doing, Rygai?

01:38:30.000 We're about to end the show.

01:38:30.000 We want to end on a funny note.

01:38:35.000 Here's where we were.

01:38:36.000 Here's where we were. 0.99

01:38:46.000 Oh, it sucks. 0.98

01:38:47.000 It had sound effects. 0.99

01:38:50.000 here it improves I don't think he hit him with that crazy kick.

01:39:05.000 Not even a little bit in the draw.

01:39:06.000 I kept rewinding it.

01:39:07.000 I thought I saw some drawings.

01:39:08.000 They're both ex-Marines.

01:39:09.000 *laughs*

01:39:18.000 Oh, I need a break.

01:39:20.000 You don't get breaks in fights, do you?

01:39:22.000 Oh, you'll get a break, all right.

01:39:23.000 Yeah, you get a fracture.

01:39:25.000 Boom! 0.99

01:39:27.000 That's the funniest rib kick I've ever seen.

01:39:29.000 With a Nike free run where it's the rib to song.

01:39:33.000 Boom.

01:39:38.000 All right, that's enough.

01:39:39.000 Hold this.

01:39:40.000 Test your might.

01:39:43.000 Test your might.

01:39:48.000 Everyone loves a good fight.

01:39:51.000 I hate the police.

01:39:52.000 No sound effects on that one.

01:39:54.000 Boo.

01:39:58.000 Is that the Street Fighter?

01:39:59.000 yeah i think it is You can't be sounding.

01:40:08.000 Come on, dude.

01:40:09.000 Jeez.

01:40:10.000 With sound effects.

01:40:15.000 I have this video game.

01:40:17.000 Stand up.

01:40:17.000 That's enough.

01:40:30.000 That's enough.

01:40:31.000 It's not.

01:40:33.000 Handle it yourself.

01:40:35.000 Don't call the police.

01:40:36.000 Don't sue.

01:40:37.000 Don't look to authority figures to solve your problems.

01:40:39.000 You guys have beef.

01:40:40.000 Settle it like men. 1.00

01:40:42.000 If you have beef at work, settle it there.

01:40:45.000 I don't care what the boss says.

01:40:46.000 Get fired.

01:40:47.000 Get in trouble.

01:40:48.000 Be brave.

01:40:49.000 and never stop fighting.

01:40:56.000 And you don't see this every day.

01:40:58.000 The tall, skinny, lanky version of Jeff Goldblum in the movie Jurassic Park facing off against a man who thinks it's cool to get the devil tattooed to the front of his forehead.

01:41:07.000 And let's see, the fight begins.

01:41:08.000 Quick punches being exchanged, and Jeff is in the lead. 0.68

01:41:11.000 Big kick. 0.58

01:41:12.000 Didn't expect that.

01:41:14.000 And a roundhouse kick up against the car. 0.98

01:41:17.000 And now he's beating the shit out of him. 0.96

01:41:19.000 Wow. 0.97

01:41:20.000 And he's wondering if he should go in for more. 1.00

01:41:22.000 It seems he threw in the white flag, but Jeff doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:41:26.000 And now both men must go with their tails between their legs back to their wives and explain how this happened randomly on a Thursday afternoon. 0.99

01:41:36.000 Back to you, Peter.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 13, 2020

S02E163 - HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS [2020-05-13 - S02E163 - HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS]

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