Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E25 - PARLER AVEC TWITTER

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 I always want to make it to the chorus of these songs.

00:00:43.000 I need someone to curr.

00:00:43.000 Curl.

00:00:46.000 Why don't you curr about me? 0.99

00:00:48.000 My favorite boy?

00:00:51.000 Curber. 1.00

00:00:52.000 Son of a bitch! 1.00

00:00:59.000 Hey, my ribs are getting better. 1.00

00:01:06.000 Nice.

00:01:07.000 Yeah, I put on that.

00:01:09.000 That's Nathaniel Ratcliffe.

00:01:11.000 Ratcliffe or Ratliff?

00:01:12.000 It's spelled R-A-T-E-L-I-F-F.

00:01:15.000 So Ratliff or Ratliff?

00:01:17.000 Okay. 1.00

00:01:18.000 Son of a bitch! 1.00

00:01:20.000 I put that on because whenever I wear this shirt, I feel like a guy from the 30s who escaped from prison. 1.00

00:01:27.000 Are you throwing your bloody gauze in the garbage again?

00:01:30.000 And I always think of that guy. 0.68

00:01:32.000 But I'm sort of re-listening to the song now as an intro. 1.00

00:01:35.000 And I'm thinking, fuck you. 1.00

00:01:37.000 Son of a bitch, get me a drink? 1.00

00:01:40.000 You get your own drink. 1.00

00:01:42.000 Don't you know bar etiquette? 1.00

00:01:45.000 In a bar, the idea of going up to someone and going, hey, you son of a bitch, give me a drink. 1.00

00:01:50.000 That's fighting words. 0.99

00:01:53.000 Even when someone offers you a drink, like there's a thing in New York, and I don't see this anywhere else, where the guys will go, I'll pay, I'm getting that one.

00:02:02.000 Now, they don't buy you a drink.

00:02:04.000 Like, you want a drink?

00:02:05.000 What are you having?

00:02:06.000 You order a drink, and then the bartender will say, that's on David. 0.98

00:02:10.000 I know that sounds gay.

00:02:11.000 Like, he looks over, the girl looks over, and you're like, hello, sweetie.

00:02:15.000 But it's not gay in New York. 0.90

00:02:17.000 It's just a thing we do here.

00:02:18.000 In Britain and Canada, you don't do that.

00:02:20.000 And I'm not criticizing it.

00:02:22.000 It is a little bit annoying.

00:02:24.000 When I first moved to America, I would always buy rounds.

00:02:27.000 All right, what do we have in here?

00:02:28.000 Because that's what you do in Canada and Britain.

00:02:30.000 And then I noticed people weren't buying them back.

00:02:32.000 So I said, I'll just get my own beers, thanks.

00:02:35.000 Then I got used to that.

00:02:36.000 And now as I get older, there's this sort of like, that's on David.

00:02:39.000 Okay, do I got to get him one?

00:02:42.000 Because I don't want to.

00:02:43.000 But you're very humble when someone buys you a drink. 0.98

00:02:46.000 Because you're a junkie, and you're nice to your drug dealer.

00:02:49.000 So I'm always very polite to my bartender.

00:02:51.000 I never criticize them.

00:02:53.000 They could take forever to bring me my beer, and I still go, thank you, thank you.

00:02:56.000 It's sort of like on a plane with a flight attendant.

00:03:00.000 You're like, might I perchance get a beer, maybe?

00:03:03.000 Okay, thank you.

00:03:06.000 Pushing the button feels so audacious.

00:03:08.000 Even though the button, the icon on the button is you serving me a drink.

00:03:12.000 It's a hand with a tray and a drink on it.

00:03:15.000 Sorry, I pushed the button that said to push.

00:03:17.000 Tray and a drink.

00:03:20.000 Can I please get a drink?

00:03:22.000 Waitress in the sky.

00:03:28.000 Yeah, we got a lot to discuss.

00:03:29.000 I'm on parlay now, as Gavin McInnes, all one word.

00:03:32.000 It's pronounced parlor to the neophytes, who aren't as cultured as, say, someone like myself, who speaks French perfectly.

00:03:42.000 And it seems to be an alternative to Twitter.

00:03:44.000 So we'll be talking to the CEO of that new app and asking him really important questions, like who is Tony Montana.

00:03:52.000 But before we get to that, wait a minute.

00:03:57.000 How are we doing for time here?

00:03:59.000 We have that.

00:04:02.000 I also want to talk to Homeless Gavin about that spelling bee, right?

00:04:05.000 Yes.

00:04:06.000 That's probably not long.

00:04:09.000 The funniest Asian I've ever seen. 1.00

00:04:12.000 The funniest Asian I've ever seen. 1.00

00:04:14.000 Bruce Springsteen?

00:04:16.000 Yes.

00:04:16.000 Nice.

00:04:17.000 Well, they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night, and they burned down his house, too.

00:04:24.000 Why don't we have any friends named the Chicken Man?

00:04:27.000 We could.

00:04:29.000 Actually, at my boxing gym, there's Hydro Man.

00:04:31.000 I think we talked about this already.

00:04:32.000 Hydro Man, yep.

00:04:33.000 Now, I notice you're dressed like you're going to court.

00:04:36.000 What's the occasion?

00:04:37.000 Well, it's because I looked at the notes in the Trump highlight.

00:04:42.000 I love when he wears the red tie and the Navy suit, and that's what I have.

00:04:46.000 What do you mean, the Trump highlight?

00:04:47.000 How does that convey anything to the viewers at home?

00:04:50.000 Well, he made a speech about his running again.

00:04:56.000 Running again.

00:04:57.000 He made a speech about his running again.

00:05:00.000 That's Ryan delivering the news.

00:05:02.000 So he's doing the running again?

00:05:04.000 Yeah.

00:05:05.000 What does that mean?

00:05:06.000 His 2020 running.

00:05:08.000 His 2020 running?

00:05:10.000 Yeah.

00:05:11.000 Wow.

00:05:12.000 I hope teachers from the South Bronx watch this show and see what they can do to a young man's brain. 0.97

00:05:18.000 I call him detective shitty behind the scenes because every hunch he has, every instinct he has is terrible. 0.97

00:05:26.000 Terrible. 0.99

00:05:28.000 You're wearing a suit.

00:05:30.000 Here's how this should have gone.

00:05:31.000 Hey, Ryan, I noticed you got a red tie suit on.

00:05:34.000 What's the occasion?

00:05:35.000 Well, Trump launched his campaign yesterday at around 8 o'clock.

00:05:39.000 o'clock at night he delivered a speech in florida that must have had a hundred thousand people there no actually only i think 10 or 15 000 could fit in the stadium it was in a giant airplane hangar but there was tens of thousands outside and you look at these anti-Trump rallies impeach Trump and you see a smattering of people Hillary, Jeb Bush, who's the Molester guy?

00:06:04.000 Ted Cruz? 0.99

00:06:05.000 No, dumbass. 1.00

00:06:06.000 Well, he looks like a Molester. 1.00

00:06:07.000 Joe Biden. 1.00

00:06:08.000 Joe Biden just fell out of my head there for a second.

00:06:10.000 No one comes to those.

00:06:12.000 They show up to Trump, though.

00:06:15.000 And he did a great speech.

00:06:17.000 If he was reading from a teleprompter, it was not obvious.

00:06:21.000 And the guy is just, I love when he's off the teleprompter.

00:06:24.000 My favorite Trump moment, there's been a few, but the number one is, we love you.

00:06:29.000 I love you too.

00:06:31.000 That's a guy.

00:06:32.000 That's a guy who said that.

00:06:35.000 Trump said that on TV.

00:06:36.000 He also swears all the time at these things, by the way. 1.00

00:06:38.000 Bullshit, motherfucker, all the time. 1.00

00:06:42.000 It takes the shit out of them. 1.00

00:06:45.000 He's great. 0.99

00:06:47.000 Why comedians don't like him, I don't understand.

00:06:49.000 He's the funniest president we've ever had.

00:06:52.000 And the material.

00:06:53.000 Anyway, it's probably going to be a little boring, but let's check out some highlights from his speech.

00:07:03.000 Campaign for a second term.

00:07:05.000 Why are you zoomed in like always?

00:07:10.000 I'd rather see slacks. 1.00

00:07:12.000 Exactly four years ago this week I announced my campaign for President of the United States.

00:07:22.000 And it turned out to be more than just a political campaign.

00:07:26.000 It turned out to be a great political movement because of you.

00:07:31.000 A great movement.

00:07:32.000 Can you just pause it for a sec?

00:07:34.000 So he's kind of at a disadvantage right now because he's known as the change president.

00:07:39.000 I'm a new guy.

00:07:40.000 I'm going to come in and rock your world and totally change things up.

00:07:43.000 But now that he's the incumbent, he's the establishment.

00:07:46.000 So it's kind of hard for him to say, I'm going to rock the world when he's the president of the United States.

00:07:51.000 But what he did at this talk is he basically said, no, I'm still the rock your world president.

00:07:56.000 I just need another four years to keep doing my changes.

00:08:01.000 And then he's talked about draining the swamp and everyone was going, drain the swamp, drain the swamp, drain the swamp.

00:08:07.000 What's the matter with you, punk rockers?

00:08:09.000 You don't want a president to be screaming, I'm getting rid of politicians.

00:08:13.000 I'm draining the swamp.

00:08:14.000 I'm getting rid of corruption.

00:08:15.000 He's the most anarchist president since Ronald Reagan.

00:08:19.000 He's the most anti-government politician since Margaret Thatcher.

00:08:25.000 He also looks out and he sees CNN and all this stuff and he goes, a lot of fake news out there.

00:08:30.000 And then they all started going, fake news, fake news.

00:08:33.000 No, CNN is fake. 0.99

00:08:35.000 What the hell? 0.99

00:08:36.000 CNN fake news? 0.98

00:08:38.000 I forget the exact chant, but it was the whole stadium cheering.

00:08:42.000 Nice.

00:08:44.000 2016 was not merely another four-year election.

00:08:49.000 This was a defining moment in American history.

00:08:54.000 Ask them right there.

00:08:56.000 Oh, here it is, right?

00:08:57.000 Thank you.

00:09:02.000 By the way, that is a lot of fake news back there.

00:09:08.000 Look at them.

00:09:10.000 You know, remember Bob Odenkirk, the comedian, getting all mad?

00:09:13.000 You know, Better Call Saul?

00:09:15.000 And he lost his temper and he goes, he's not presidential. 1.00

00:09:18.000 Fuck the presidency. 1.00

00:09:20.000 Screw the White House. 1.00

00:09:22.000 I have zero reverence for the government.

00:09:26.000 The White House is a giant DMV.

00:09:28.000 Don't revere these people.

00:09:30.000 They want to control your life.

00:09:31.000 Don't give them your money.

00:09:33.000 Don't give them your responsibilities.

00:09:35.000 Stop calling the cops all the time.

00:09:37.000 Enough with the nanny state. 0.68

00:09:40.000 I just saw this video.

00:09:41.000 We could watch it later where some kid, some animal rights activist grabs a guy's fish and throws it into the water to save the fish's life.

00:09:47.000 And everyone's on the phone calling the police, calling the park boards. 0.96

00:09:50.000 Just shove them, punch them. 1.00

00:09:52.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:09:52.000 Handle it yourself. 1.00

00:09:55.000 America is not about revering people who want to control you.

00:09:58.000 It's about revering the people who actually build things.

00:10:01.000 Let's revere the working class, the housewife, the entrepreneur.

00:10:06.000 Not some bureaucrat who wants to tell you how to live.

00:10:12.000 Another interesting thing about that was he got Melania Trump out first.

00:10:17.000 She gets up to the podium with her funny accent and she says that she's very excited to serve this place.

00:10:24.000 I think these are separate emails I sent me afterwards.

00:10:27.000 To serve this country.

00:10:29.000 And she looked fantastic, you guys.

00:10:32.000 Sorry, I was born in England.

00:10:34.000 I care about fashion.

00:10:35.000 It's not a hobby.

00:10:37.000 But look at that outfit. 1.00

00:10:39.000 By the way, my favorite kind of body too, her tits are a little big for my taste, but I love like a big lady, a mountain you can climb. 1.00

00:10:48.000 You know what I mean? 0.98

00:10:49.000 Petite isn't my cup of tea.

00:10:50.000 Although I'm not going to kick any petites out for eating crackers in bed. 1.00

00:10:54.000 I have a very wide spectrum of what I find attractive. 0.98

00:10:57.000 It's called being a dirty old man. 0.96

00:10:58.000 But look how classy she is. 1.00

00:11:01.000 Scroll down.

00:11:03.000 Canary yellow.

00:11:04.000 Isn't this a way better First Lady? 1.00

00:11:07.000 Remember George Bush Sr.'s wife?

00:11:09.000 One time they were in Saudi Arabia and some chic, Sikh, chic, no chic, says to him, oh, I'm so happy that you brought your mother to this meeting. 0.98

00:11:20.000 Oh my God.

00:11:21.000 That's my wife. 1.00

00:11:22.000 She just, she looks very, very, very, very old. 0.78

00:11:25.000 It's worse than the pregnancy.

00:11:27.000 Like, oh, when are you expecting it?

00:11:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:29.000 Yikes.

00:11:30.000 Or that'd be funny if you see a guy's wife and you think you're being flattering and you go, well, what did you have him when you were eight years old?

00:11:36.000 You barely look older than him.

00:11:38.000 I'm actually younger than him.

00:11:39.000 I'm his wife, not his mother.

00:11:41.000 Oh, my God.

00:11:43.000 When I first moved to the burbs, I was talking to some woman at my son's baseball practice and she had like, I thought she was pregnant.

00:11:52.000 And I was going to do my running joke.

00:11:53.000 I always do, every time I see a pregnant woman, I go, I used to have that problem too. 0.96

00:11:56.000 And then I just stopped Guinness and I went to Bud Light and it just, it went away.

00:12:01.000 It's a corny joke, but it always slam dunks.

00:12:04.000 Although one liberal woman who hated me, I didn't realize she knew who I was. 0.99

00:12:07.000 And I said it and she goes, it's a little more complicated than that.

00:12:11.000 Jesus.

00:12:12.000 Yeah.

00:12:12.000 Giving birth is more complicated than changing beers.

00:12:16.000 Thanks, joke police.

00:12:18.000 Joke Nazi, I was going to say.

00:12:20.000 But I didn't say anything about her pregnancy.

00:12:24.000 And then I realized as she shifted around that she wasn't pregnant.

00:12:27.000 And I was just driving home going, thank God I didn't say that joke.

00:12:33.000 Oh, you didn't?

00:12:34.000 No.

00:12:35.000 Praise Jesus.

00:12:38.000 By the way, speaking of my son, remember I told you that he said to me, I swear to God, when I took something away from him?

00:12:45.000 Yeah.

00:12:45.000 And I was like, you want to go?

00:12:48.000 There's a new one now.

00:12:50.000 His bedtime is a normal kid bedtime, but I noticed at 10.45, he's still up.

00:12:54.000 And he comes into the master bedroom where my wife is watching Game of Thrones on Netflix.

00:12:59.000 And he goes, what are you doing?

00:13:00.000 And she goes, I'm watching Netflix.

00:13:02.000 What are you doing?

00:13:03.000 Why are you up?

00:13:04.000 And then he says, this is a 10-year-old.

00:13:06.000 He says, no, No, no, it's way too late.

00:13:08.000 You're going to be exhausted tomorrow.

00:13:11.000 He told her to turn off.

00:13:12.000 Is that a joke?

00:13:13.000 Yeah, no, he's dead serious.

00:13:16.000 Sheesh, where does this guy get the gumption?

00:13:19.000 Sheesh! 0.96

00:13:21.000 Tyler down a notch, smartass.

00:13:24.000 Go to that other thing where they talk about her in her Milano-blonic polka dot shoes.

00:13:29.000 I think I said it as a separate email right before we started the show.

00:13:32.000 But she's got this beautiful white smock on. 0.99

00:13:35.000 Throws on Shade's Ralph Lauren jumpsuit for the...

00:13:41.000 I love Ralph Lorraine.

00:13:42.000 Jewish kid, grew up in Queens or something.

00:13:44.000 Ralph Lipschitz, worst name ever.

00:13:48.000 And he's sleeping in a bed with his brothers his whole life, speaking of Revere the Entrepreneur.

00:13:53.000 Then he goes, I want to create a waspy fashion line that sort of glorifies American elites and doesn't try to be British or anything.

00:14:02.000 You know, cowboy boots, but rich, and makes it happen.

00:14:06.000 And now he's loaded.

00:14:08.000 Temporarily embarrassed millionaires.

00:14:10.000 That's what the poor are in America.

00:14:11.000 Look at that ensemble. 1.00

00:14:13.000 I guess her tits are fake, huh? 1.00

00:14:15.000 Keep going. 1.00

00:14:16.000 Look at those soiliers. 1.00

00:14:18.000 Look at those shoes. 0.88

00:14:21.000 Her shoe game is so nuts they should call them cashews. 1.00

00:14:24.000 Nah, I get it.

00:14:25.000 Look at them.

00:14:26.000 They're giants, by the way.

00:14:27.000 That is my suit.

00:14:29.000 Yeah, I'm sure it's exactly the same as this.

00:14:31.000 Where'd you get that suit?

00:14:32.000 Arby's? 1.00

00:14:33.000 Look at crap around your desk. 0.99

00:14:35.000 They don't sell suits. 1.00

00:14:36.000 You look like the typical Asian workshop sleep under your desk guy. 1.00

00:14:40.000 You got a water bottle. 0.83

00:14:41.000 You got pills for your teeth.

00:14:43.000 Three hats.

00:14:46.000 Separate pair of shoes.

00:14:47.000 Some track pants, some little sport pants, and then just like rolled up tissues. 0.99

00:14:54.000 This isn't your bedroom, dumbass. 0.99

00:14:56.000 I'm going through a lot. 1.00

00:14:57.000 It's a live TV studio.

00:15:00.000 Thank God that Jim helped me out because no pain and feels better.

00:15:07.000 So I know that's the update for all the fans.

00:15:10.000 Did you also get a lobotomy at the dentist?

00:15:12.000 What else did they remove?

00:15:13.000 Part of your brain that was hurting?

00:15:15.000 No.

00:15:15.000 No pain and feel good?

00:15:19.000 Make me more Japanese than before, but feel good. 0.99

00:15:23.000 Yeah, I got a foreign injection.

00:15:28.000 Yeah, that's what your mom got.

00:15:30.000 Oh, because your mother, she was with an Asian guy.

00:15:37.000 Oh.

00:15:38.000 All right, I got some angry news before we settle down.

00:15:45.000 You ready to get mad?

00:15:47.000 I got three stories, actually, that made me mad.

00:15:51.000 Wait, is it two?

00:15:52.000 Two or three?

00:15:53.000 Anyway, this is the first one.

00:15:55.000 So look at this headline, right?

00:15:58.000 By the way, I'm also on Telegram as real Gavin McInnes.

00:16:02.000 So Telegram and Parlay is where I am.

00:16:04.000 P-A-R-L-E-R. 1.00

00:16:06.000 And on parlay, I'm Gavin McInnes.

00:16:09.000 This one is called Mom's Murder Son.

00:16:12.000 Why are you having so much trouble with the notes?

00:16:14.000 It's the only thing we haven't talked about from the top to the bottom.

00:16:20.000 Are you on the wrong notes page, Dimwit?

00:16:24.000 Jeez.

00:16:25.000 These were sent very early.

00:16:27.000 11.49 a.m.

00:16:29.000 I sent you these notes.

00:16:31.000 We've got John from Parlay.

00:16:32.000 We already talked about that.

00:16:34.000 Look at you.

00:16:35.000 You even have the notes.

00:16:36.000 Why do we print out the notes, too? 0.99

00:16:39.000 You're so bad at your job that I'm starting to feel like I'm abusing people with mental issues. 0.98

00:16:39.000 You know what? 0.98

00:16:45.000 I feel like I should be going, that's good, Ryan.

00:16:48.000 Okay, buddy.

00:16:49.000 Let's see if we can find the notes for today.

00:16:53.000 What are you doing?

00:16:57.000 Today's notes, Dimwit!

00:17:00.000 I got nothing today.

00:17:02.000 You didn't send it.

00:17:03.000 This is from yesterday?

00:17:07.000 Well, that means that I'm wrong.

00:17:11.000 Right.

00:17:12.000 And I didn't actually send you the email.

00:17:14.000 No.

00:17:15.000 But what you did do was yesterday you sent a premature show rundown.

00:17:21.000 So I thought that was that.

00:17:22.000 This is embarrassing.

00:17:23.000 All right.

00:17:24.000 Let's cut to the funniest Asian in the world, and I will send you the email. 1.00

00:17:30.000 And I guess I have to.

00:17:31.000 Apologize.

00:17:34.000 Look, Ryan, I yelled at you about an email that I thought I sent you.

00:17:36.000 Insaneus So I just want you to know That I'm Sssssss Ha Ha You can do it.

00:17:42.000 I am a...

00:17:44.000 Just...

00:17:48.000 It's a two-syllable word.

00:17:55.000 I am deeply, from the bottom of my heart, hey, guys.

00:18:12.000 I know that you, you know, we try to avoid race on this show because it's seen as racist, but there are white people, black people, Jews, and Asians, basically.

00:18:22.000 And each group has their funniest member.

00:18:25.000 Funniest Jew, the funniest black, the funniest white, the funniest Asian. 1.00

00:18:28.000 Well, I thought you might want to meet the funniest Asian. 0.94

00:18:30.000 I know you might think it's my counterpart, Ryan Katsu Rivera.

00:18:35.000 He can do some funny imitations.

00:18:37.000 He has his moments, but he is not the funniest Asian in the world. 1.00

00:18:41.000 This guy is.

00:18:42.000 Take it away.

00:18:44.000 Funniest Asian ever. 1.00

00:18:47.000 Heron. 0.70

00:18:48.000 Can you please be the word?

00:18:50.000 Heron.

00:18:53.000 Please give me the definition.

00:18:55.000 A wing bird that has a long neck and legs, a long tapering bill with a sharp point and sharp cutting edges.

00:19:02.000 Heron.

00:19:02.000 Large wings and plumage.

00:19:05.000 Can you please be the word?

00:19:07.000 Heron.

00:19:09.000 H-E-R-O-N. 1.00

00:19:10.000 May you please use in the sentence?

00:19:14.000 If Gail had not seen the heron fly down from the tree, she would have insisted that the bird nested on the side.

00:19:20.000 One of the reasons I love this guy is because he doesn't seem particularly popular. 0.99

00:19:24.000 His hairdo sucks. 0.99

00:19:26.000 His bangs are airbrushed. 1.00

00:19:28.000 He has like a wet bowl cut.

00:19:30.000 I don't think she likes him.

00:19:31.000 And maybe he has two friends.

00:19:34.000 Maybe he has two friends.

00:19:36.000 And he's decided to amuse them by torturing this woman, this humorless cow, and making her explain heron a hundred times, which is one of the easiest words in the world to spell. 0.97

00:19:52.000 Please speak the word.

00:19:53.000 Heron.

00:19:54.000 Please speak the word.

00:19:58.000 What's the word again?

00:19:59.000 Heron.

00:20:00.000 Herwink? 0.97

00:20:02.000 Her wink.

00:20:03.000 Her robe.

00:20:04.000 Hairbow.

00:20:05.000 Heron.

00:20:06.000 Hairline?

00:20:11.000 Herlink?

00:20:12.000 Herling.

00:20:13.000 Heron.

00:20:15.000 Can you please speak the word?

00:20:17.000 Heron.

00:20:19.000 Heron's humor lady.

00:20:21.000 He's messing with you.

00:20:25.000 Ever hear a joke?

00:20:29.000 Heron.

00:20:30.000 H-E-R-O-N. 1.00

00:20:32.000 Herring.

00:20:35.000 He didn't even say herring.

00:20:37.000 He said herring.

00:20:40.000 A ring?

00:20:46.000 Heron.

00:20:47.000 Heroin.

00:20:48.000 Heroin.

00:20:49.000 Just pause.

00:20:50.000 This is one thing that Sasha Baron Cohen tries to capitalize on, which I think he fails at because he'll have, you know, children who were murdered in an Israeli kindergarten or a guy who survived a massive attack in Afghanistan who wants a waterboarding thing signed by Dick Cheney.

00:21:07.000 He chooses weird targets.

00:21:09.000 This guy is actually mocking her for thinking that Asians have Down syndrome.

00:21:16.000 What he's really doing is noting that she thinks he's mentally handicapped because she's never really known any Asians. 0.65

00:21:24.000 He's kind of mocking her for being racist.

00:21:28.000 That's good comedy.

00:21:29.000 Hero.

00:21:32.000 Heroin?

00:21:33.000 No.

00:21:34.000 Maybe speak the word.

00:21:35.000 Please.

00:21:36.000 Heron.

00:21:40.000 Maybe please give me the definition.

00:21:42.000 A wading bird that has a long neck and legs, a long tapering bill with a sharp point and sharp cutting edges.

00:21:50.000 Heroin.

00:21:51.000 H-E-R-O-N. 1.00

00:21:53.000 Heron.

00:21:56.000 And yeah, friend, I want you to be my F-R-I-E-N-D.

00:22:01.000 F-R-I-E-N-D. 1.00

00:22:02.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

00:22:06.000 I can't get clean. 1.00

00:22:08.000 I'm on the beach.

00:22:11.000 I think I get it now. 1.00

00:22:12.000 He's trying to get clean because he's in rehab and he's not at a bar saying, excuse me, son of a bitch, can you get me a drink? 1.00

00:22:19.000 He's sitting there with the shakes going, son of a bitch, I need a drink. 1.00

00:22:24.000 Can someone get me a drink? 1.00

00:22:25.000 I need a drink.

00:22:28.000 Even then, I think it's a little rude. 0.99

00:22:30.000 If I was at rehab, I'd say to my counselor, I'd really like a fucking drink right now, please. 0.98

00:22:36.000 What do you got there? 0.99

00:22:42.000 You're playing music, Juniors.

00:22:46.000 Are you on pills?

00:22:48.000 Please tell me there's some sort of medication that's making you be so terrible.

00:22:51.000 And I don't think you have the right happy days clip.

00:22:53.000 It's Tylenol with Codeine.

00:22:55.000 I was rushing.

00:22:58.000 Ralph, I was.

00:23:03.000 I was not exactly right.

00:23:05.000 There you go.

00:23:06.000 I'm not exactly not...

00:23:11.000 So you're sure you sent him now?

00:23:14.000 Okay.

00:23:15.000 Yeah, you have them?

00:23:16.000 I do. 0.97

00:23:16.000 Mom's murderous son. 0.97

00:23:17.000 Gotcha.

00:23:19.000 I like to keep the show kind of fun, but occasionally let's just rail at the evil that is going on in this country, the fake news that we are told.

00:23:31.000 Mom, it's the British newspaper, is accused of beheading her son a year after. 0.99

00:23:36.000 Holy crap. 0.99

00:23:37.000 Sheesh. 0.98

00:23:38.000 They changed the title.

00:23:39.000 No.

00:23:40.000 Yes.

00:23:41.000 It doesn't even say edited. 0.98

00:23:43.000 Holy crap.

00:23:44.000 Oh, wait, no, no, updated 1024 of the 19th. 0.96

00:23:48.000 Holy crap.

00:23:50.000 This changes my story. 0.98

00:23:52.000 This is another infuriating thing about the media. 0.99

00:23:55.000 It's an amorphous blob that when you go, hey, that's fucked up. 0.99

00:23:58.000 It goes, what? 0.97

00:23:59.000 It's sort of like those cancer cells where they find a way to choose it and it just goes, no, now I'm AIDS.

00:24:07.000 Now I'm crabs.

00:24:08.000 Now I'm gonorrhea.

00:24:09.000 What?

00:24:10.000 Somebody take that out of context, please. 0.99

00:24:14.000 Holy crap. 1.00

00:24:15.000 So, after tearing off his penis, this... 1.00

00:24:21.000 Yeah, do Time Machine. 1.00

00:24:22.000 How do we do that?

00:24:23.000 I don't know.

00:24:24.000 Time Machine, that link.

00:24:26.000 So what it used to say was, woman kills son, beheads son after discovering he wanted to be a girl.

00:24:38.000 Right?

00:24:40.000 That was the article.

00:24:42.000 And this story is so sadistic, it's going to give you nightmares.

00:24:45.000 So I'm not really talking about the story itself like it's a trend.

00:24:49.000 Oh, there it is.

00:24:50.000 There it is.

00:24:50.000 Nice.

00:24:51.000 Oh, Time Machine Works.

00:24:52.000 Cool. 0.97

00:24:52.000 Hell yeah, dog. 0.97

00:24:53.000 Mom beheaded son, nine, after stabbing him 12 times because he wanted to be a girl. 0.99

00:24:58.000 Whoa. 0.80

00:24:59.000 So you read that and you go, oh, transphobia.

00:25:02.000 They're probably Christians. 1.00

00:25:03.000 Disgusting. 1.00

00:25:04.000 And you don't read the article because people just see that. 0.96

00:25:06.000 And then that'll come up in a bar. 0.89

00:25:08.000 Well, they'll go, you don't think trans violence is real? 1.00

00:25:11.000 Just the other day, a little kid was killed by his mother for asking to be a girl.

00:25:15.000 And you go, that doesn't sound right.

00:25:18.000 Are you sure? 0.99

00:25:19.000 And then you look it up and you find that it's two lesbians who hate men, hate men. 1.00

00:25:27.000 And this boy was allegedly the product of a rape, even though the father, the biological father goes, didn't rape her. 0.99

00:25:33.000 She stole the kid and escaped.

00:25:36.000 I couldn't find the kid.

00:25:38.000 They've been on the run. 0.87

00:25:39.000 So this couple, I think they're the ones who decided he wanted to be a girl, these lesbians. 0.99

00:25:45.000 And you know what they did to the boy? 1.00

00:25:46.000 They cut his penis off in a home surgery. 0.99

00:25:54.000 So they probably like tied rubber bands around it till it died and then he just would pee out a hole. 1.00

00:25:59.000 Oh my God.

00:26:00.000 Oh my god.

00:26:00.000 Oh my God.

00:26:02.000 And then a year later, as he has this mutilated penis, these women claiming that he wanted to be a girl, which I don't believe. 0.99

00:26:09.000 He's a little kid. 0.99

00:26:10.000 He's nine years old.

00:26:12.000 He's a year younger than my boy.

00:26:15.000 Can you show the article, please?

00:26:17.000 Scroll down.

00:26:18.000 I think they have a picture of the kid.

00:26:19.000 There he is.

00:26:20.000 Oh.

00:26:22.000 Why wouldn't you be showing that while I'm talking about it?

00:26:25.000 Because there's actually seven different captures of this article.

00:26:27.000 So I think they might have updated it.

00:26:29.000 The body of it also?

00:26:31.000 Huh.

00:26:32.000 Multiple times.

00:26:33.000 I think they got in trouble for this.

00:26:34.000 Plus, a lot of this times it's interns who get farmed out and they go, write a salacious article.

00:26:38.000 We need some clicks.

00:26:40.000 But they're never salacious about the other side. 0.99

00:26:43.000 They don't say like, gays, go on this child murdering rampage. 0.99

00:26:46.000 And this story will die, just like the school shooting. 0.98

00:26:48.000 Does anyone remember this?

00:26:49.000 The school shooting where one of them was trans and she was an anchor baby of an illegal alien? 0.98

00:26:56.000 Story died two days later.

00:26:58.000 Unlike Heather Heyer, where we hear about it every single day and every time white supremacy comes up, we have to hear about how it's killing people. 1.00

00:27:09.000 For example, Heather Heyer. 0.99

00:27:11.000 But yeah, a year after these mentally ill lesbians mutilated this nine-year-old boy's penis, they also cut his face off, gouged his eyes out with a knife, cut him into small pieces, tried to incinerate his body on a barbecue. 1.00

00:27:25.000 They were too stupid to figure that out, so they eventually put him in a suitcase and threw him in the sewer. 1.00

00:27:31.000 I hope that their fellow prisoners can dole out a little more punishment than just jail, because this doesn't deserve simply sitting in a cell. 1.00

00:27:44.000 This deserves the same sadism that they doled out.

00:27:48.000 Eye for an eye.

00:27:50.000 Speaking of sentencing, check out this other story that made me furious.

00:27:56.000 A Canadian man who aided in the 2009 murder of five American soldiers in Iraq was sentenced to 26 years in jail by a Brooklyn federal judge Tuesday despite objections from the victims' families.

00:28:10.000 You notice we've totally forgotten about the victims' families.

00:28:12.000 Like the Central Park 5.

00:28:14.000 What was her name again?

00:28:15.000 Taisha Miel or something?

00:28:19.000 Those teens were wilding on a regular basis through Central Park. 1.00

00:28:23.000 This woman was raped by a serial murderer, serial rapist. 1.00

00:28:27.000 If you can be both, he was. 1.00

00:28:29.000 And they were exonerated in order to take his confession. 0.66

00:28:32.000 They may not have raped her, but they were there during the rape, holding her legs down and robbing her and beating her within an inch of her life. 0.99

00:28:41.000 Beating her so severely that she, the prost the detectives just treated it as a homicide because they assumed she wouldn't be coming back from that.

00:28:51.000 She now does lectures about brain damage to brain surgeons.

00:28:56.000 There she is.

00:28:57.000 Tricia Mailey.

00:28:58.000 Tricia Mailey.

00:28:59.000 And I got it.

00:29:00.000 My wife subscribes to Vanity Fair and it came with a supplement, an awards supplement. 0.96

00:29:04.000 And there was Ava DuVernay holding one of the black actors, who's a little tiny sweet boy in the movie, as opposed to a tall teenager who was raping chicks. 0.99

00:29:15.000 And it's all about the Central Park Five and justice and how it's not...

00:29:23.000 They never show her pictures in articles about Ava's Netflix movie.

00:29:30.000 It's just about the way we see people and how wrong it is, how evil we can be.

00:29:36.000 All right.

00:29:38.000 Okay, here's one last thing before we talk to Joe Matzy Mates, whatever his name is, John.

00:29:44.000 John Mates.

00:29:47.000 Remember, we're talking about Carlos Mazza?

00:29:49.000 Can we just have normal names, please?

00:29:51.000 I have the most normal name on earth.

00:29:53.000 It's completely 100% phonetic.

00:29:55.000 There's even a double consonant next to the I, so you know it's I. Gavin McInnes.

00:30:00.000 Even Siri calls me McGinnis.

00:30:03.000 It's infuriating.

00:30:04.000 Meanwhile, we got John Matza and Carlos Mazza.

00:30:09.000 I correct people every time they say McGinnis.

00:30:11.000 I give up.

00:30:12.000 It bothers me.

00:30:13.000 I'm like, you see a C in there.

00:30:15.000 I give up.

00:30:17.000 So there was a BuzzFeed article, and it was about dogs in the workplace.

00:30:22.000 No, that's not it.

00:30:23.000 I sent it as a separate email.

00:30:27.000 Dogs in the workplace.

00:30:28.000 And as, this is what happened to the far-left media. 1.00

00:30:32.000 They said, everything is white supremacists and everything, everyone's a Nazi, and you got to punch a Nazi and Trump's a Nazi. 0.99

00:30:39.000 And that's against trans people. 1.00

00:30:41.000 And it's LGBTQQ now. 0.85

00:30:43.000 This is why coffee is insensitive to aboriginals.

00:30:47.000 And this is why braiding your hair is cultural appropriation.

00:30:50.000 And this is why Beyonce is an actual goddess and she should be worshipped in church.

00:30:55.000 And this is why someone got a PhD in Beyoncé versus Star Wars and why one is more relevant. 1.00

00:31:01.000 So they turned the news into garbage, just babysitter agenda shit. 0.99

00:31:06.000 And people went, I'm not enjoying this. 1.00

00:31:07.000 This isn't interesting. 0.94

00:31:08.000 It's just a one-sided lunatic freak.

00:31:11.000 Very far, like all this HuffPo, BuzzFeed, Daily Beast, they represent a tiny sliver of the American population.

00:31:18.000 It's very esoteric.

00:31:20.000 I mean, I've always known these radicals.

00:31:21.000 I used to go to anarchist gatherings, and they were a tiny, even back then, it was a tiny group of radicals.

00:31:26.000 And I kind of liked them.

00:31:27.000 Like, I'd meet these lesbian separatists that don't want to touch your hand when they shake hands. 1.00

00:31:31.000 And I kind of like the, I know freaks, right? 0.93

00:31:34.000 Did I not send you that email?

00:31:37.000 Nope.

00:31:38.000 Well, I got this.

00:31:40.000 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

00:31:41.000 Okay.

00:31:43.000 And then these radicals take over a large swath of the mainstream and they go, we're not making any money because there's no money in it.

00:31:51.000 So then what do they do?

00:31:52.000 They start a union and start complaining and then more get fired.

00:31:56.000 So look at this.

00:31:57.000 Leaked messages reveal BuzzFeed staff rowed.

00:31:59.000 That's fighting.

00:32:00.000 A lot of British news today.

00:32:02.000 Over having emotional support puppies as 15% are axed.

00:32:07.000 I remember there was a story a few years ago about a bunch of interns who had to have a dress coat at this corporation they were working at. 0.99

00:32:14.000 So the interns went on strike and said, we don't want to have to wear a suit and tie at this stupid corporation. 0.99

00:32:20.000 And the corporation said, well, you're fired, dummies. 1.00

00:32:23.000 And then they were all freaked out. 0.95

00:32:24.000 That's exactly what's going on here.

00:32:26.000 They write terrible stories. 0.97

00:32:27.000 They write totally utter crap, like that 9,000-word Max Landis essay we were discussing yesterday. 0.99

00:32:34.000 And then the free market goes, I can't afford you anymore. 0.99

00:32:36.000 This is just charity at this point.

00:32:38.000 So then they go, I want my puppies here.

00:32:40.000 I want to be able to wear what I want.

00:32:42.000 And I'm forming a union to get paid more.

00:32:44.000 And they go, you can't get blood from a stone.

00:32:47.000 Bye-bye.

00:32:49.000 So Carlos Matza was talking about, who is it now?

00:32:53.000 Vox?

00:32:54.000 This is in Moore Matzah.

00:32:55.000 By the way, go back to that article that's right there. 0.99

00:32:58.000 I could do a whole separate show on that piece of shit, Jonah Paretti. 1.00

00:33:01.000 He's one of the worst people around. 1.00

00:33:04.000 He's actually, the family in the movie Get Out is based on him. 0.97

00:33:08.000 I swear to God.

00:33:08.000 No.

00:33:09.000 Yes.

00:33:10.000 Chelsea Peretti.

00:33:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:11.000 Chelsea Peretti's brother.

00:33:13.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Chelsea and Jonah Peretti. 1.00

00:33:14.000 Chelsea Pereti.

00:33:15.000 She's married to Jordan Peel.

00:33:18.000 Jonah Peretti has started a bunch of businesses, and he does things like he, see if you can look this up.

00:33:26.000 Jonah Peretti, he took on the identity of John Lott, the gun expert, and then had a website where you could email John Lott at thewebsite.com.

00:33:34.000 John Lott had to sue him to stop him smearing his name.

00:33:38.000 He also had a dating app he was working on, and there was some like Valentine's special thing.

00:33:45.000 Yeah.

00:33:46.000 The incredible thing the site CEO did using my name without permission.

00:33:51.000 BuzzFeed and me.

00:33:52.000 So the go back to that.

00:33:54.000 Why do you keep clicking away all the time?

00:33:56.000 Because now I'm looking for the Valentine's Day thing.

00:33:58.000 It's in that article.

00:33:59.000 Oh.

00:34:02.000 He also started a dating app thing, and he took on the guy's name.

00:34:08.000 The dating guy joined John on this website because he didn't have anyone.

00:34:11.000 Yeah, Joan F. Predty set up the website jeffgoldblatt.com under the pretense that it was Goldblatt's personal website.

00:34:17.000 Predi sent out emails from me at jeffgoldblatt.com that, according to Goldblatt, contained multiple lies about me and portrayed me as an arrogant jerk who was bragging about how I stole the idea of the New York City rejection line.

00:34:29.000 So this article is about two personalities that Jonah Paretti subsumed in order to defame them so he could be more successful at his particular job.

00:34:42.000 Anyway, go back to Matt's thing, because that was a tangent.

00:34:46.000 I just find it interesting that these dunce caps, they just squeeze and squeeze the hand that feeds them and then get bit and go, oh.

00:34:59.000 It's like those Antifa pink kids who got punched in the face with a helmet on the end of yesterday's show and you see one of them just going like, what the hell just happened? 0.87

00:35:09.000 I've never been hit before.

00:35:11.000 There's consequences?

00:35:12.000 There's things called ramifications.

00:35:14.000 I thought nose were for smelling things.

00:35:17.000 I thought nose were for nose rings. 0.58

00:35:21.000 Putting in butts.

00:35:24.000 BuzzFeed News employees are planning to stage a walkout on Monday in a push to get management to recognize their union.

00:35:30.000 But you don't have the Matzah comment on this?

00:35:33.000 Huh.

00:35:34.000 Because Matzah commented on this and he retweeted and he was like, that's it.

00:35:38.000 You go, girl.

00:35:39.000 Empower yourself.

00:35:41.000 Don't let them walk out on you.

00:35:42.000 I mean, don't let them dominate you.

00:35:45.000 And they're all going to get fired.

00:35:47.000 That's already happened.

00:35:48.000 There's already been a huge wave of firings, at Vice, at BuzzFeed, Daily Beast, all these articles, they get fired in droves.

00:35:58.000 They get dumped, basically.

00:36:00.000 And then they go, I demand that you sleep with me more and buy me chocolates and flowers for Valentine's Day.

00:36:06.000 Sorry, dude.

00:36:08.000 All right, let's talk to John Matz about Parlay, because I like Telegram, but Parlay really feels like it could replace Twitter.

00:36:17.000 I'm calling on me My heart is a pain John Mates, are you there, sir?

00:36:27.000 Yes.

00:36:29.000 Those earbuds drive me nuts.

00:36:31.000 They look like pearl earrings.

00:36:33.000 I think they look incredibly douchey.

00:36:36.000 You look like John J.R. Binks.

00:36:37.000 You look like something under the Star Wars bar.

00:36:41.000 Well, the worst part is when you're on an airplane and one of them falls out when they're taken off and it just shoots all the way to the back of the plane.

00:36:48.000 Yeah.

00:36:48.000 Have you seen there's now cords that you can attach to them so you don't lose them?

00:36:53.000 You might as well just plug it in at that point, right?

00:36:55.000 Exactly.

00:36:55.000 It's like been uninvented.

00:36:59.000 So I had no idea you were so breathtakingly gorgeous.

00:37:06.000 I don't know what to say to that.

00:37:08.000 Do you think you're better looking than me?

00:37:11.000 Well, I don't know.

00:37:12.000 I'm not as hipster, I guess.

00:37:13.000 I don't really have the whole hipster vibe going on, which is kind of unfortunate.

00:37:18.000 I'm dressed like a guy who escaped prison in 1932.

00:37:24.000 I don't know.

00:37:25.000 I don't know.

00:37:26.000 The mustache is pretty cool.

00:37:27.000 I could never pull it off.

00:37:28.000 This is as much facial hair as I've ever had in my life, and I still can't patch it in here or here.

00:37:33.000 It just kind of doesn't do its job.

00:37:34.000 I think you're a 7.85.

00:37:42.000 And I'm a 7.

00:37:45.000 I'm a 6.91.

00:37:50.000 All right, I got a lot of questions for you.

00:37:51.000 So you're the CEO of Parlay?

00:37:55.000 Yes.

00:37:56.000 Do you pronounce it parlay or the wrong way?

00:38:00.000 I've been pronouncing it the wrong way because people could actually download the app if I pronounced it the wrong way.

00:38:05.000 Gotcha.

00:38:06.000 But I like parlay, especially because when you create a post, we call it a parlay.

00:38:11.000 It says you parlayed information to people.

00:38:13.000 Oh, I get it.

00:38:14.000 Nice, nice.

00:38:14.000 That's probably the Latin origin of the term right there.

00:38:18.000 Ryan, take your stupid shirt off the back of your chair. 1.00

00:38:24.000 We're doing a show here. 1.00

00:38:25.000 You got bananas on your desk.

00:38:27.000 It's not very professional. 0.99

00:38:30.000 God, we're not out of sleep over, you dunce.

00:38:34.000 So you started parlay, and it seems to be very similar to Twitter. 0.95

00:38:39.000 And a lot of people are heading over there, especially in the past three weeks, I've noticed.

00:38:43.000 Would you say that you are the new Twitter?

00:38:49.000 I think that we're doing what Twitter should have done when they started.

00:38:52.000 I think we're going to be catching up.

00:38:54.000 By no means can I call us the new Twitter right now because we don't have like 4,000 employees to constantly keep everything running smoothly.

00:39:00.000 but I definitely think we're a great contender.

00:39:04.000 And I think we're going to do a lot more than Twitter.

00:39:06.000 They've been basically stagnant for like three years.

00:39:09.000 I don't think they've really done anything interesting or new, you know, other than censoring people.

00:39:16.000 Now, what are the copyright parameters?

00:39:19.000 Like, they have Twitter moments.

00:39:20.000 Can you have parlay events?

00:39:23.000 They have DMs.

00:39:24.000 Can you have fairly direct messages?

00:39:27.000 Well, I mean, everyone has direct messages.

00:39:29.000 There's nothing unique or interesting about that.

00:39:31.000 And, you know, the way we're going to be doing it is different than how they do it and how a lot of other sites do it.

00:39:36.000 And we eventually introduce DMs because we don't have them today.

00:39:39.000 We're trying to do it in a way that's more secure and more focused on privacy of individuals talking to one another without us being able to see their messages.

00:39:47.000 So you're trying to give yourself less power, less rights.

00:39:51.000 Yeah, I think that's really important now.

00:39:54.000 I mean, look, I understand why Twitter did it.

00:39:57.000 And not just Twitter, right?

00:39:58.000 This is all like the, you know, Facebook, all these guys.

00:40:02.000 They all want more power because it gives them more leverage, more control, and more money.

00:40:05.000 But the reality is it's very short-sighted, in my opinion, because they're going to go out of business doing that.

00:40:12.000 They're going to disenfranchise their user base, abuse their trust, and it's not going to work.

00:40:16.000 They're huge now, but they're not going to be in five years.

00:40:18.000 Yeah, I think when you kill the conversation, you just get in this bubble.

00:40:22.000 Like I just read a second ago on parlay, by the way, that the MTV Music Awards, their viewership has gone down 36%, despite the show being forced onto like 20 different channels.

00:40:35.000 And I think it's because of political correctness and wanting to please everyone and eschewing meritocracy.

00:40:42.000 And you get to the point where you're just in a babysitter's head and it's not fun anymore.

00:40:48.000 There's no danger.

00:40:49.000 Well, no, but it's even worse than that on Twitter.

00:40:51.000 I mean, I guess it is pretty similar too, though.

00:40:53.000 But what I had an interviewer asking me yesterday for a published article.

00:40:59.000 And they were saying, you know, how are you going to handle hate?

00:41:02.000 And I'm like, well, you know, people are leaving Twitter because it's probably the most hateful place on the internet. 1.00

00:41:07.000 And I mean, when the president makes a post and it's just like, you're dumb, orange mad, bad, like all this stuff. 0.99

00:41:15.000 It's just, it's, it's really hateful. 0.99

00:41:17.000 People are leaving because they just don't want to get yelled at by internet trolls on the left, who are actually really bad trolls, too.

00:41:23.000 Yeah, the vitriol you get from the left, they're all about love and they hate hate.

00:41:28.000 And they just talk, they talk in a weird way.

00:41:29.000 Even I remember back in Sarah Palin days, I was talking to Anthony Bourdain, and he said, it was in private, but he's dead now, so whatever. 0.96

00:41:38.000 He said, yeah, I'd love to cut her skin off in slow, long strips. 1.00

00:41:44.000 Like the way the left talks about their enemies, it sounds like the South African farmers. 0.99

00:41:49.000 Like it's pure sadism.

00:41:51.000 By the way, I think that's bannable on parlay to say that.

00:41:55.000 Not because it's leftist, but I mean, because it's like awkwardly sexual and not relevant to society.

00:42:00.000 I feel like that's...

00:42:08.000 Is there anything you censor?

00:42:10.000 Because I had this dumb forum, the little chat thing on my old website, and I originally started saying, no rules at all.

00:42:17.000 No rules. 0.96

00:42:18.000 And then you get two groups, the Holocaust-denying anti-Semites and the didn't do nothings with the racist cartoon black joke things. 0.76

00:42:27.000 And you go, oh, that makes me uncomfortable, but maybe I need to be uncomfortable.

00:42:30.000 And then it's like putting a drop of blank ink into a glass of water.

00:42:35.000 They just spread and spread and just dominate the conversation.

00:42:40.000 Yeah, we do eliminate things, but it's only things that are not allowed by the FCC.

00:42:49.000 So we kind of want to base everything in law.

00:42:51.000 So if we can find precedence in the FCC or we can find precedence in the Supreme Court, then we'll throw that in there as our rules.

00:42:58.000 And we've got a chart and try to make it really easy.

00:43:01.000 So technically, we do allow racist things because it's hard to define what racism is specifically to the point where, okay, is racism now making fun of somebody's, I don't know, illegal or versus legal citizenship status?

00:43:15.000 At what point do you draw the line, right?

00:43:18.000 So what we're doing is trying to find a basis in the FCC, which typically means that when these crazy anti-Semites and other people get on there, they generally jump to violence pretty quick, which makes it very easy to boot them off.

00:43:34.000 So we've kicked off a few neo-Nazis already just because they jump to violence so fast, and we just don't tolerate that.

00:43:43.000 Yeah, I mean, if you look at the political spectrum, my mustache is in the middle.

00:43:46.000 It goes like this. 0.92

00:43:47.000 And the nuts on the far right, the like kill all the Jews types, it really is a sliver. 0.88

00:43:55.000 And I think Twitter used to have a problem with that sliver. 0.98

00:43:58.000 And then they became drunk with power.

00:43:58.000 They got rid of it.

00:44:01.000 And they made that sliver into basically everyone to the right of Mao.

00:44:06.000 So it's a slip.

00:44:07.000 It's not even a slippery slope.

00:44:08.000 I don't like that term. 0.89

00:44:10.000 But it's like you get rid of a few genuinely mentally ill anti-Semites, and then you say, okay, well, now that I've done that, let's get rid of anyone who doesn't like the teachers' union.

00:44:20.000 You get a little bit of a power rush, and you go, okay, let's start banning more and more people. 0.95

00:44:24.000 The reality is, is they're like a rogue dictatorship.

00:44:26.000 They just have some guy in charge who just makes arbitrary decisions and they don't really have any direction or basis in something like bigger than them, if you will.

00:44:34.000 And that's why we picked the Supreme Court.

00:44:37.000 Well, you seem to know what you're talking about.

00:44:38.000 You seem to have things under control.

00:44:40.000 We just did some research here, and Twitter, as of this morning, on the NASDAQ, is worth 16 zillion, kajillion, nillion, billion. 0.99

00:44:49.000 Are you going to be fucking rich? 0.99

00:44:53.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:44:55.000 At this rate, I'm going to be happy if I sleep right now.

00:44:58.000 That's kind of where I'm concerned with.

00:45:00.000 But there's a lot of very interesting and prominent and wealthy people involved in the platform in terms of like showing interest in investing and getting this thing to grow.

00:45:10.000 Maybe.

00:45:11.000 It'd be cool.

00:45:12.000 I don't really think that's my number one priority right now.

00:45:15.000 Can I have a Rolex, the gold kind, that keeps the date?

00:45:20.000 Once I buy a watch, I'll get you a Rolex afterwards.

00:45:24.000 Okay, two more things before we go.

00:45:28.000 So you weren't that well known a month ago, and then there was some fake news that Trump was moving to parlay, and everything just exploded.

00:45:38.000 This seems to be the case, yeah.

00:45:39.000 I mean, I don't really know how fake news decides to start.

00:45:43.000 Um, I have a feeling I know the origin of this one, but can you tell us?

00:45:48.000 What?

00:45:49.000 What's the origin?

00:45:51.000 Uh, I think it was the Politico article by Ben.

00:45:55.000 I can't remember his last name, but Ben's really awesome.

00:45:58.000 I, you know, to be honest, for a Politico, I, you know, I was so worried talking to them.

00:46:02.000 I thought that it would be like the, all right, this is going to be a hit list on John.

00:46:07.000 How do we take him down and destroy his site?

00:46:09.000 You know, he did very good research.

00:46:11.000 He did a good job, but I mean, then he just threw out this fake news at the end, I think, to make his article popular.

00:46:19.000 Yeah, well, another funny, interesting thing about you, nobody knows, is you're not really into pop culture or, you know, the political icons.

00:46:28.000 You're a programming guy.

00:46:30.000 Yeah, no, I'm a software engineer.

00:46:32.000 I built the iPhone app.

00:46:33.000 I did that all myself.

00:46:35.000 So if you ask me about sports or pop culture, I literally won't be able to answer any of your questions.

00:46:41.000 All right, well, let's do it then.

00:46:43.000 Question one.

00:46:44.000 Who is Tony Montana?

00:46:50.000 You don't know who Tony Montana is?

00:46:52.000 I don't know who Tony Montana is.

00:46:54.000 What does the expression, say hello to my little friend, mean?

00:47:02.000 Is that Arnold Stewart's finger?

00:47:06.000 Don't guess these.

00:47:08.000 What is planking?

00:47:11.000 I know what planking is.

00:47:13.000 Is that like a workout thing? 1.00

00:47:15.000 No, no, it's when they try to go between the two benches and they lay down like an idiot. 1.00

00:47:19.000 Well, yeah, they're both. 0.99

00:47:20.000 I mean, it is a workout, but it's also a trend where you make yourself into a board and you photograph yourself in weird places. 1.00

00:47:27.000 Yeah, idiots between the benches. 1.00

00:47:29.000 What about parkour? 1.00

00:47:32.000 Parkour.

00:47:33.000 It's like jumping around and working out, right?

00:47:35.000 Who is Questlove?

00:47:35.000 Good, good.

00:47:40.000 Just say I don't know.

00:47:42.000 What are you going to do?

00:47:42.000 Think about it?

00:47:44.000 Figure it out?

00:47:44.000 What are you going to do?

00:47:46.000 It sounds like some sort of maybe a musician.

00:47:48.000 Maybe he plays drums, African-American gentleman. 1.00

00:47:52.000 I'm just like thinking, you know, maybe I do know who this is, but let me make sure I don't before I tell you I don't.

00:47:58.000 Who is Jordan Peterson?

00:48:00.000 I know who that is.

00:48:01.000 He's the angry professor from Canada. 0.99

00:48:03.000 Who talks like Kermit the Frog?

00:48:05.000 What is the intellectual?

00:48:07.000 What is the intellectual dark web?

00:48:12.000 I know what the dark web is, like the forbidden portion of the web, but in terms of the intellectual part, I don't know.

00:48:18.000 What is the alt-light?

00:48:22.000 I don't know.

00:48:24.000 What is a flying V?

00:48:28.000 It's a snowboard.

00:48:31.000 We got that one.

00:48:32.000 Well, good.

00:48:33.000 No.

00:48:33.000 I'm glad that our nerds, first of all, I'm surprised they're breathtakingly gorgeous, but I'm glad that our nerds are focused on what's important and not wasting their time with Eddie Van Halen's friend's guitar.

00:48:46.000 All right.

00:48:47.000 That is.

00:48:49.000 That's my questions.

00:48:50.000 Now, you're going to be going, you're sort of in the zone now.

00:48:52.000 I mean, this is all, it's like on.

00:48:54.000 You've got to sort of take this moment and crowbar it open because this is your window.

00:48:59.000 Yeah, that's basically what we've been trying desperately to do.

00:49:02.000 You know, keep in mind, we have got 10 people total working on this, really.

00:49:07.000 And, you know, we're up against people who have thousands.

00:49:09.000 We're also being attacked by the people of thousands. 0.55

00:49:12.000 And they're throwing their media at us.

00:49:13.000 They're throwing their engineers at us.

00:49:15.000 They're throwing everything at us to just destroy us.

00:49:18.000 Are they trying to hack this site?

00:49:21.000 We haven't had any major hackings yet.

00:49:25.000 But we have had a hacking group attack us and then give us a sheet afterwards telling us what they attacked us over, which was kind of nice of them.

00:49:35.000 But really, the biggest part right now has been mostly political.

00:49:43.000 I mean, I knew we were going to get attacked by the left, but I didn't, I mean, because I'm not right-leaning, by the way.

00:49:48.000 I'm like a libertarian.

00:49:50.000 I just, you know, spend a lot of time with the right-leaning crowd because they're the ones who will give me the time of the day.

00:49:55.000 But, you know, they're really attacking us on every front.

00:49:58.000 I mean, to the point where they're trying to undermine our status on various app stores, which we've solved, I think.

00:50:04.000 And they're trying to, you know, basically hit us with any dirty move they've got, they're throwing at us.

00:50:10.000 It's kind of overwhelming.

00:50:11.000 It's amazing that, and you don't have a policy.

00:50:13.000 It's not like, welcome to parlay where the alt-right can thrive.

00:50:18.000 Your agenda is just freedom where everyone can speak, and they're mad at that.

00:50:22.000 They're mad at free speech.

00:50:24.000 That's disturbing.

00:50:25.000 They don't want you to leave their control.

00:50:27.000 It goes back to that thing.

00:50:28.000 It's a rogue dictator in charge of their platforms.

00:50:30.000 They don't want that control to be given up.

00:50:34.000 You'd get the same treatment in Cuba or Venezuela.

00:50:38.000 Yeah.

00:50:38.000 Well, they're bigger than Cuba and Venezuela.

00:50:40.000 They're bigger than governments at this point.

00:50:42.000 They can make or break elections.

00:50:44.000 True, true.

00:50:45.000 All right, John, thanks for coming on the show.

00:50:47.000 I like you more than friend. 0.96

00:50:48.000 And if either of us become gay and our wives die, God forbid, we should start dating. 0.98

00:50:56.000 I certainly hope my wife doesn't die anytime soon. 0.98

00:50:58.000 Well, just keep an open mind.

00:51:00.000 That's what parlay is all about.

00:51:02.000 All right.

00:51:03.000 See ya.

00:51:04.000 See ya.

00:51:04.000 I'm shaking.

00:51:06.000 I was crawling on me.

00:51:08.000 My heart was aching. 0.80

00:51:12.000 What a hunk.

00:51:13.000 Hunkosaurus Rex.

00:51:15.000 Yes. 0.97

00:51:15.000 If I was gay, that'd be my type. 0.97

00:51:17.000 Tall, dark, and handsome. 0.65

00:51:18.000 I guess that's everyone's type, right?

00:51:20.000 My cousin has black hair.

00:51:21.000 He's part Mexican.

00:51:22.000 And even now that he's an old man, we'll be at a thing, like a family event, and there'll be some woman there just talking his ear off. 1.00

00:51:29.000 Like, bitch, he's married. 1.00

00:51:31.000 Boy, when he was young. 1.00

00:51:34.000 In Glasgow, Scotland, being part Mexican, it was criminal. 1.00

00:51:38.000 I brought a black guy to Glasgow, Scotland once, Derek Beckles.

00:51:42.000 It was like The Walking Dead.

00:51:44.000 We'd be talking and they'd start slowly appearing, leaning on the jukebox.

00:51:48.000 We had to leave several bars because he was getting stalked.

00:51:51.000 He was in the Beatles, basically.

00:51:53.000 My uncle, too, had jet black hair.

00:51:55.000 He had jet black hair with a white streak that went.

00:51:59.000 He had my same hairdo, but jet black and then a white streak.

00:52:01.000 He never had a mustache, unfortunately. 1.00

00:52:03.000 He was a closeted gay who he would have done great if he was fat, but in the straight world, he would have just slayed pussy. 1.00

00:52:11.000 Remind me to bring in the picture of him at my parents' wedding because she was a smokeshoe. 1.00

00:52:16.000 Oh, he was married.

00:52:18.000 No.

00:52:19.000 Oh, but he had a long-term beard?

00:52:22.000 All right.

00:52:23.000 Remind me to tell you about the chick he brought to my parents' wedding. 0.85

00:52:27.000 Oh, he was married.

00:52:28.000 Because people can only come to a wedding if they're married.

00:52:31.000 You can't bring your girlfriend, right? 0.96

00:52:34.000 But he had a hot beard?

00:52:35.000 How long did he have a beard for?

00:52:36.000 It wasn't a beard.

00:52:37.000 He was trying to be straight. 0.97

00:52:39.000 Yeah, a beard is when you're gay and trying to be straight. 0.98

00:52:42.000 No, a beard is when you're trying to look straight. 0.94

00:52:45.000 I think he didn't want to be gay. 0.79

00:52:47.000 He clearly didn't if he was in the closet his whole life.

00:52:51.000 Anyway, I was talking earlier about authority and how we all call the police and the phones thing.

00:52:59.000 Like someone, anything goes wrong and we get out our phones so we can document it.

00:53:03.000 We've become a nation of snitches. 1.00

00:53:05.000 Snitches and bitches. 1.00

00:53:07.000 You don't record it. 1.00

00:53:08.000 It doesn't have to be on film.

00:53:09.000 If someone takes your fish.

00:53:11.000 I'm sorry.

00:53:12.000 I hope this doesn't sound like I'm advocating violence, but is that not grounds for a fight? 1.00

00:53:17.000 Punch him in the fucking face. 1.00

00:53:19.000 the first reason to ever fight somebody ever. 1.00

00:53:21.000 At the very least, Yeah, a caveman steals a caveman's dinner. 0.99

00:53:27.000 You're going to get clubbed over the head. 0.99

00:53:29.000 But surely if you're going to be stealing someone's food, you're prepared to get punched in the face. 1.00

00:53:35.000 But this guy, judging by his footwear choice, it hasn't occurred to him that shit's going to go down. 0.99

00:53:41.000 No, the police will handle it for me. 0.99

00:53:43.000 Go ahead.

00:53:45.000 Call the police.

00:53:46.000 Call the police.

00:53:47.000 I just saved a fish's life.

00:53:48.000 How about that?

00:53:49.000 Call the police.

00:53:50.000 I just saved your video.

00:53:52.000 I just saved the fish's life.

00:53:53.000 By the way, there's no evidence of that.

00:53:55.000 It could be a dead fish floating around in the water right now.

00:53:59.000 You hear the bald, tough guy?

00:54:01.000 This is harassment.

00:54:02.000 This is theft.

00:54:04.000 You stole that fish out of his home.

00:54:06.000 I'm calling the police officer.

00:54:06.000 You stole that fish out of his home.

00:54:09.000 I don't care what that person thinks that it's okay to teach kids to kill animals.

00:54:12.000 Do you think that's okay?

00:54:14.000 Do you think that's okay?

00:54:15.000 No, I don't, but they're not paying attention.

00:54:16.000 You're making them pay attention to the family.

00:54:17.000 Do you know how many gazillions of fish are killed every day for food?

00:54:22.000 He's in the wrong place.

00:54:23.000 Go to a fish factory, dude.

00:54:25.000 Or go to one of those giant tankers with the nets that take in approximately nine jajillion, zillion, billion fish, more than the GDP of Google and Twitter combined.

00:54:38.000 I'm really good at evaluations today.

00:54:40.000 Yeah, but fish kill other fish. 1.00

00:54:42.000 I'm wrong for telling you.

00:54:43.000 Yeah, so what about fish kills New York?

00:54:46.000 Where we get our water from?

00:54:48.000 Oh, yes.

00:54:48.000 That means nothing.

00:54:49.000 That's the kind of thing you say.

00:54:50.000 Yeah, it was.

00:54:52.000 It's violence.

00:54:53.000 Killing fish is no kindness.

00:54:55.000 It's not food.

00:54:57.000 It's violence.

00:54:58.000 Wait, wait, do you hear that chant?

00:54:59.000 Killing fish is no kindness.

00:55:02.000 It's not food, it's violence.

00:55:04.000 First of all, kindness and violence don't rhyme.

00:55:07.000 Secondly, who says something is no kindness?

00:55:11.000 So keep going.

00:55:14.000 This goes on and on and on.

00:55:15.000 It's a really long video.

00:55:16.000 And he's like, that makes no sense.

00:55:17.000 He keeps saying, that makes no sense.

00:55:19.000 And the other guy's like, look, dude, I don't want to go to jail.

00:55:22.000 I don't want to fight you.

00:55:24.000 That's the other problem, too, with all this litigation, right?

00:55:27.000 Like when Nick DiPaulo got punched in the face by that woman at the comedy show, he just has to sit there and call the police and threaten to sue her.

00:55:35.000 Waste everyone's time.

00:55:36.000 Look, so this is what the police do.

00:55:38.000 They go, just call the park guard.

00:55:40.000 So the park guards show up.

00:55:41.000 It's some dude in a t-shirt and some chick in a t-shirt that says the park.

00:55:45.000 And what are they going to do?

00:55:46.000 So anyway, don't steal his fish.

00:55:48.000 And then he leaves. 0.72

00:55:52.000 Everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face.

00:55:54.000 There's two types of people in the world.

00:55:55.000 People who've been punched in the face and people who haven't.

00:55:57.000 I've been punched in the face.

00:55:58.000 I've been punched in the face this week.

00:56:00.000 And I'm a better person for it.

00:56:02.000 I'm not saying you should randomly punch people in the face, but I am saying you shouldn't call the cops every time there's a slight conflict and get authorities involved and document it.

00:56:12.000 Can we solve our own problems, please?

00:56:14.000 We're living in a climate of fear where everyone's so petrified of ramifications.

00:56:19.000 Embrace the ramifications.

00:56:21.000 Get fired.

00:56:22.000 Get in trouble.

00:56:23.000 Be brave.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 19, 2019

S02E25 - PARLER AVEC TWITTER

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Summary

Transcript