Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E29 - WITHNAIL & I

00:00:29.000 That's Jimi Hendrix, all along the Watchtower.

00:00:32.000 I chose that song because this episode is dedicated to Withnail and I. The next four episodes are the holiday episodes.

00:00:38.000 They're pre-tapes because I'm on vacation, hence the shirt.

00:00:42.000 And I'm just going to go through a movie every episode, okay?

00:00:48.000 And this, it's my four favorite movies, and this movie is Withnail and I. Are you sure you're recording, sir?

00:00:54.000 Everything's on.

00:00:55.000 The mics are on.

00:00:56.000 Recording.

00:00:58.000 We still don't have Ryan back.

00:01:01.000 I'm still mad at him.

00:01:02.000 He's still fired.

00:01:05.000 What happened now?

00:01:06.000 So yeah, he was going out with this crazy, I won't call her a B-word because I'm sure he has legal troubles, but they would have crazy fights.

00:01:15.000 And he'd have to call the police because she threatened to kill herself twice.

00:01:21.000 And they'd get fights and the neighbors would call the cops, the hotels would call the cops, people would call the cops.

00:01:28.000 And he went to jail because that's how it works in this country.

00:01:32.000 It's funny, too, because as a man with a daughter, I'm like, good.

00:01:36.000 If anyone gets called, throw them in jail because I want women to be protected in society. 0.99

00:01:41.000 But it's possible that some ladies may take advantage of that culture. 1.00

00:01:48.000 Anyway, I bailed him out the first time, $1,000.

00:01:51.000 I didn't bail him out the second time, his grandparents did, I believe.

00:01:55.000 And he got out of jail and I said, I told you to stay away from her.

00:01:58.000 You had a restraining order.

00:01:59.000 You kept going back for more.

00:02:00.000 What the fuck are you doing, you fucking idiot?

00:02:03.000 And he was like, then he decided to get like go on the offensive with me and go, well, you're addicted to alcohol.

00:02:12.000 And alcohol doesn't text you all the time and say, come over, I miss you.

00:02:16.000 I love you.

00:02:16.000 I'm going to kill myself if you don't come over.

00:02:20.000 Like, what?

00:02:20.000 What are we talking about?

00:02:22.000 And he goes, you know, you could get taken away if you drive drunk and you got kids.

00:02:26.000 You get deported.

00:02:28.000 And I'm like, I am a pretty heavy drinker.

00:02:31.000 All Scottish people are.

00:02:33.000 But this is not really the time when I'm doing.

00:02:37.000 And I told you so because exactly what I said would happen happened several times.

00:02:44.000 So fuck you. 0.68

00:02:46.000 You're fired.

00:02:47.000 And I already, this is after I'd already done a show at a different studio because he wasn't able to do his job.

00:02:54.000 I mean, if McDonald's, you don't show up.

00:02:56.000 You don't do your job.

00:02:57.000 Anyway, I know you guys miss Ryan.

00:03:00.000 That's life.

00:03:01.000 Tell him not to get addicted to crazy girls.

00:03:04.000 That's really what's happening here.

00:03:06.000 I'm getting kind of an echo because I can hear myself.

00:03:08.000 Can you close that door?

00:03:09.000 That'll be much more convenient.

00:03:11.000 Anyway, the next four episodes are short episodes.

00:03:16.000 They're dedicated to movies.

00:03:18.000 And they'll only be like half an hour.

00:03:20.000 And then we'll be back, you know, the Monday after July 4th.

00:03:26.000 You shouldn't be sitting at home watching my show anyway on July 4th.

00:03:30.000 No caller ID.

00:03:31.000 Let's see who this is.

00:03:33.000 Hello?

00:03:35.000 Hi, honey.

00:03:36.000 It's dad.

00:03:37.000 Hey, Dad, how you doing?

00:03:40.000 Everything is wonderful.

00:03:41.000 I'm delighted to get through to you, Pedo.

00:03:44.000 Well, you're such a cheap ass that you use this dumb free software and you always come in as no caller ID.

00:03:51.000 So I don't know.

00:03:53.000 We're calling you on Google Hangouts.

00:03:58.000 Yeah, that's what cheap people do. 0.96

00:04:00.000 And it's impossible for me to see your fucking number. 0.62

00:04:03.000 Well, honey, we're just cheap.

00:04:06.000 Sorry about that.

00:04:08.000 Well, it's hurting your relationship with your family.

00:04:12.000 Well, honey, the member, the less I spend, the more you get.

00:04:19.000 Oh, then by all means, continue to use Google Hangouts.

00:04:22.000 It sounds like a good idea.

00:04:27.000 When are you going to go, by the way?

00:04:29.000 Aren't you like 89?

00:04:34.000 I mean, no way.

00:04:36.000 I always get confused with when you get to my age, you get confused with numbers.

00:04:43.000 And what I never understood, what is it called when you get numbers backwards?

00:04:51.000 Dyslexia, I guess?

00:04:52.000 Dyslexia.

00:04:54.000 And people always went on to me about how sexy, how sexy a 69 was.

00:05:04.000 Well, let me tell you, after trying 96 for God knows how long, I thought, this is overrated.

00:05:12.000 What, you had mom lying on your back?

00:05:18.000 Let me tell you, a 96 does not work.

00:05:24.000 You mean it's 96?

00:05:27.000 If you two are still around at 96, I think I may have to leave the car, the garage door closed while you pull into the driveway so you get a nice dose of carbon monoxide.

00:05:42.000 Listen, don't die, just do not discarbon monoxide.

00:05:48.000 That is seemingly what we're trying to do with carbon dioxide in getting rid of carbon dioxide and breaking it down into carbon monoxide.

00:06:03.000 Because once you have carbon dioxide, you end up with two parts carbon monoxide, which is much more healthy.

00:06:13.000 Yeah, that sounds good.

00:06:14.000 Let's have more carbon monoxide in the atmosphere.

00:06:18.000 Dad, I'm recording my holiday shows because I'm going away for a vacation on Monday.

00:06:24.000 So you're actually on my show right now.

00:06:27.000 I'm on your show.

00:06:28.000 Yeah, I put you on speakerphone and we're recording an episode.

00:06:32.000 Oh, my God.

00:06:35.000 So I've got you there talking about 69ing my mother on, you know, the internet.

00:06:43.000 That's wonderful.

00:06:44.000 Thank you, honey.

00:06:49.000 I'll call you when I'm done.

00:06:50.000 I'll be done in about an hour or two.

00:06:54.000 Okay, honey.

00:06:56.000 Wait, I heard a cough.

00:06:57.000 Is that a sign that you're on your way out?

00:07:04.000 Let me tell you, you know, the fucking will.

00:07:08.000 Okay, well, then why talk?

00:07:13.000 The will.

00:07:14.000 How much is I'm rich?

00:07:15.000 What's he going to give me?

00:07:16.000 Like 300 grand?

00:07:17.000 Fuck you.

00:07:17.000 I spend that on cocaine every weekend.

00:07:22.000 Yeah, that was my folks.

00:07:23.000 So yeah, we'll see what happens with Ryan.

00:07:26.000 It's not looking very good, is it?

00:07:28.000 He's out of jail, though.

00:07:30.000 And he's going to have to trial.

00:07:31.000 I mean, I don't think the trial is going to mean anything.

00:07:34.000 She's probably not going to show up.

00:07:36.000 I probably shouldn't be discussing any of this anyway.

00:07:38.000 But, you know, it makes me wonder when you see a prison.

00:07:42.000 And we had Michelle Malkin and Michael Eric Dyson on the show, and we were talking about incarceration.

00:07:49.000 And when you're naive and you don't know people, then you go, well, jail.

00:07:55.000 It's for murderers, right?

00:07:56.000 It's where murderers go. 0.97

00:07:57.000 In fact, Dr. Dyson was talking about that with his own brother.

00:07:59.000 His brother was accused of murder.

00:08:01.000 And his first attitude was, well, fuck you, my brother.

00:08:06.000 You're a crack dealer, a pot dealer.

00:08:08.000 You probably did murder the guy.

00:08:09.000 You're in jail.

00:08:10.000 And then he starts looking into it and sees that the only evidence was the dying man slowly mumbled Dyson's brother's name.

00:08:19.000 30 years in prison.

00:08:21.000 I got to stop using that gesture or they're going to fucking freeze it as Ezeki Kyle.

00:08:24.000 Did you see Kyle, my brother?

00:08:27.000 My brother's name is Kyle.

00:08:30.000 And then you start realizing all of these people are in jail for what?

00:08:34.000 I told you I talked to a corrections officer once and I said, how many guys are here?

00:08:38.000 Because some couple had a fight. 0.95

00:08:40.000 She charged him.

00:08:42.000 He had a restraining order.

00:08:43.000 She seduced him again. 0.78

00:08:44.000 He started living there.

00:08:46.000 And then they got in another fight and it was a violation of the restraining order.

00:08:49.000 And he goes, I don't know about that particular case, but about a third of the people are here for domestics.

00:08:54.000 I don't think Ryan, by the way, was charged with domestic.

00:08:57.000 I think it was just causing a disturbance at a hotel or something.

00:09:01.000 Anyway, we'll see.

00:09:03.000 I told you so!

00:09:05.000 And by the way, while we're on the subject, Anthony Kumia, I told him so.

00:09:10.000 We all told him that that woman was trouble. 0.99

00:09:12.000 But no, or Artie Lang with the Coke and the smack.

00:09:17.000 Everyone said, stop, stop, stop.

00:09:21.000 Ends up in prison.

00:09:22.000 God gives you two fuck-ups.

00:09:24.000 Remember when I went to the train yards, allegedly?

00:09:28.000 He gave me two trains to look through.

00:09:30.000 And then he said, all right, you're done here.

00:09:33.000 Your phone isn't here.

00:09:34.000 By the way, Grand Central found it.

00:09:35.000 Incidentally, I'm very impressed that New York City you can lose something and lost and found in Grand Central.

00:09:42.000 I went there a few days ago and they had this bucket of phones from June.

00:09:47.000 It was June phones, it said on the bucket, and it was probably 50 phones.

00:09:51.000 They found mine.

00:09:52.000 I'm blown away.

00:09:55.000 Maybe there's still traces of Mayberry in New York City.

00:09:59.000 But fuck, did I forget what I was talking about?

00:10:06.000 Prison and phones and prison and phones and shit.

00:10:13.000 Ryan's a fuck up with a stupid girlfriend.

00:10:16.000 Don't call her stupid because that's going to make the case worse.

00:10:20.000 The case is ongoing.

00:10:21.000 Are they going to use this?

00:10:23.000 I don't fucking know.

00:10:25.000 But yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

00:10:26.000 With Artie, he was doing drugs.

00:10:28.000 He kept going.

00:10:29.000 And oh yeah, the Lord gave me two trains.

00:10:32.000 And then he said, all right, dude, your phone isn't here.

00:10:34.000 Let's go.

00:10:34.000 God says, dude, he's cool.

00:10:36.000 And then I said, no, God, I'm going to do one more train.

00:10:39.000 And he goes, all right, well, I'm getting you caught and it's going to fuck up your day because you're an asshole.

00:10:44.000 I know I'm contradicting myself because I'm implying that people are in jail because they fucked up and they just kept pushing it and pushing it and pushing it.

00:10:52.000 Sort of.

00:10:53.000 But do you belong in jail for a year because you kept going back to a, I'm not going to say crazy bitch, but a very dramatic person who has mental issues? 1.00

00:11:05.000 I don't think so.

00:11:07.000 You know, I've talked to so many prisoners.

00:11:08.000 I mentioned this on the last free speech episode with Michelle Malkin and Dyson.

00:11:13.000 And I say to the prisoners, I go, how many people do you think here are incompatible with society?

00:11:18.000 And they always say 5%.

00:11:20.000 Even murderers.

00:11:21.000 Murderers tend not to be serial murderers.

00:11:24.000 They tend to do one murder and it's in the heat of passion.

00:11:26.000 It's usually related to jealousy and someone's fucking your wife. 1.00

00:11:30.000 You know, the penitentiary that started the word pen, it comes from penance, right?

00:11:36.000 It's in Pennsylvania.

00:11:37.000 And I went there and back then they did it right.

00:11:40.000 Even murder, you'd get like five years.

00:11:43.000 And you would just sit in a room and read the Bible and you'd have a little area you could walk out and it was very civil and it was about penance and religion and it worked and they stopped doing that and now we just throw people in cages and they get mired in this tar of bureaucracy where they could be waiting a year at Rikers.

00:12:02.000 Anyway, this is all covered in my free speech episode with Dr. Michael Eric Tyson and Michelle Monken.

00:12:08.000 I sat with Michelle and had a beer after the show.

00:12:11.000 That woman is so fascinating, it's disturbing.

00:12:16.000 She's a genius.

00:12:18.000 And it's one thing to be smart, but to be smart and interesting is rare.

00:12:23.000 Like Peter Brimelow is seen as this evil villain because he's anti-immigration.

00:12:27.000 But, you know, he did that article where he defended smoking and said it's good for you.

00:12:31.000 I don't know if that's true or not, but at least it's interesting.

00:12:34.000 It's new.

00:12:35.000 And Michelle was talking to me about pain management and how some of these parents with these children who are suffering from chronic pain, they subsume their pain and it becomes their identity, like the people with trans kids.

00:12:48.000 And it becomes sort of a Munchausen syndrome where the parents enable these kids to whine.

00:12:54.000 And look, if you have chronic pain, you have chronic pain.

00:12:57.000 But a big part of surviving chronic pain is bucking up and just taking it, becoming Walt Kowalski and Gran Torino.

00:13:04.000 I had never thought of that before.

00:13:07.000 It's the opposite of boring.

00:13:09.000 And that's why I get mad at people who call in and have a big long intro.

00:13:13.000 I have limited time here, like my dad.

00:13:15.000 I'm dying.

00:13:16.000 So I want you to say things I've never thought of before.

00:13:19.000 And that's what's great about experiencing different cultures.

00:13:23.000 And when I say different cultures, I mean like cops, different Western cultures, talking to different people, meeting people who have been to prison.

00:13:31.000 You know, you gain more empathy, you gain more humanity the more people you meet.

00:13:37.000 And talking to Dr. Michael Eric Tyson, Dyson, I don't know, he said he'd been on a ride along, but I'm dubious.

00:13:44.000 Because when you ride along with a cop, you go, oh, this is what it's like.

00:13:47.000 Or even when we did a commercial once with Rooster, it was called How to Survive in Prison, and we were in an abandoned prison in the Bronx.

00:13:53.000 I mean, they had kiboshed it and moved to a nicer one, but they still kept it open for commercial shoots and stuff.

00:13:59.000 And just when you're in that cell and the doors go gong, that gun, knowing you can't leave, it's up to someone else when you leave, it strikes you deep in your spine.

00:14:14.000 I mean, I'm an ex-con.

00:14:16.000 I was in prison for four hours.

00:14:18.000 And even those four hours, when the door went gong, and I was in a cool part of the jail where I could hang out with the detectives, like in the show Barney Miller, I could have my hands leaning out and I was riffing with them.

00:14:29.000 We were talking.

00:14:30.000 It was awesome.

00:14:31.000 They didn't put me down with the animals because they knew I beat up a guy who beat up a woman.

00:14:35.000 So they're like, he's one of the good criminals.

00:14:39.000 And even then, even in that ideal environment, the gong, it's primal.

00:14:44.000 It makes you feel weird.

00:14:46.000 Anyway, Jimi Hendrix, All Long the Watchtower.

00:14:51.000 That's for this particular episode is going to be with Nail and I. Did I explain this already?

00:14:56.000 We've had some technical difficulties, so I don't know if I'm repeating myself.

00:14:59.000 But the next four episodes, because I'm away for July 4th, will be dedicated to my favorite films, my four favorite films.

00:15:07.000 Today we're doing with Nail and I. But before we start, I wanted to tell a very important story about Jimi Hendrix.

00:15:13.000 One, I don't know why, but I have this incredible gift where I can do any Jimi Hendrix song perfectly with my bouche, with my mouth.

00:15:24.000 I can amuse you with my bouche.

00:15:27.000 For example, all along the Watchtower, which you just heard.

00:15:30.000 Well, why don't you play it?

00:15:31.000 Can you just play some of it?

00:15:32.000 We'll play it here on YouTube, and then I will do it with my mouth, and you'll see there's...

00:15:52.000 Watch this thing.

00:15:53.000 And by the way, I'm as freaked out as you are by this talent.

00:15:56.000 *Sings* Thank you.

00:16:14.000 Is that eerie?

00:16:16.000 And it's like having a birthmark on your face.

00:16:18.000 It's just something I was born with.

00:16:20.000 I don't understand it either.

00:16:22.000 And I can also talk exactly like him.

00:16:24.000 Listen, not necessarily a stone, but beautiful.

00:16:29.000 What's happening?

00:16:30.000 I'm not Gavin anymore.

00:16:32.000 I'm Jimi Hendrix.

00:16:35.000 Now, I was born shortly after he died, I believe.

00:16:38.000 And it's possible that he's entered my body.

00:16:41.000 He's come from behind and just sort of gone into me and filled me up with Jimmy.

00:16:48.000 Speaking of Jimmy, my second story about Jimi Hendrix, it's very important to tell.

00:16:52.000 I lived in Taiwan for about four months.

00:16:55.000 I was teaching English there.

00:16:57.000 I didn't have a lot going on, so I just absconded to the Orient.

00:17:01.000 And while I was there, I got all the white pussy I could handle. 1.00

00:17:08.000 All the other white guys who were there, and there was not a lot.

00:17:12.000 In the whole city of Taipei, there was maybe 100 at the most.

00:17:17.000 And actually, that sounds like a lot.

00:17:20.000 There was one white bar we'd go to, and it would be pretty empty.

00:17:24.000 Justin Thoreau, actually, I found out later, went to that same bar.

00:17:27.000 He designed signs for them.

00:17:29.000 He lived in Taipei, too.

00:17:33.000 That's a guy who wrote Tropic Thunder and married Jennifer Anison.

00:17:37.000 So the Asian women were not attracted to me because I'm hairy, and facial hair is not a thing in Asia. 0.55

00:17:43.000 They don't grow facial hair.

00:17:44.000 In fact, I used to teach a lot of kindergarten classes because the other guys there didn't like kids and I love kids.

00:17:49.000 So I would handle, I took that lion's share of those clients and I would teach at actual kindergarten schools.

00:17:56.000 And every time they draw me, they draw hairs all over my arms.

00:17:58.000 Like even having hairy arms is a big deal, and I don't really have hairy arms.

00:18:01.000 They draw my legs with hairs.

00:18:03.000 It was so hot you're wearing shorts all the time.

00:18:04.000 But anyway, I dated this Australian girl there. 0.94

00:18:08.000 Hello.

00:18:09.000 Yeah, what are you doing?

00:18:10.000 Yeah.

00:18:11.000 That accent is gross.

00:18:12.000 But she was cool.

00:18:13.000 Some blonde chick. 1.00

00:18:14.000 Birkenstocks, which was a huge turnoff.

00:18:16.000 But besides that, she was a cool hippie chick. 1.00

00:18:18.000 And we got along great.

00:18:21.000 We were, I guess, dating for a couple weeks.

00:18:23.000 Then she moved back.

00:18:24.000 She was staying in Seattle with some family.

00:18:26.000 And I went on a road trip with my buddies.

00:18:30.000 And Seattle included that.

00:18:32.000 We had a Dodge Dart with three on the floor.

00:18:37.000 You've heard of four on the floor and three in the tree?

00:18:40.000 We had a gear shift that had three gears on the floor.

00:18:44.000 You ever heard of that before?

00:18:45.000 Me neither.

00:18:45.000 It's like one, two, three gears.

00:18:47.000 So it was a manual with three gears.

00:18:49.000 Anyway, it was a cool car, and I was unfortunately cool.

00:18:53.000 And I guess you didn't know that in Taipei because I was a weirdo with my beard and I was like a kind of a loser, I guess.

00:18:59.000 All the jocks were cool there.

00:19:00.000 But back in the city, I'm cool now.

00:19:03.000 I have a black friend, which is very cool, as you know.

00:19:05.000 The only thing cooler than a black friend is an old black friend. 1.00

00:19:09.000 Like, say, you know, some 80-year-old black man who plays the blues with his old hands.

00:19:14.000 That's the ideal friend.

00:19:15.000 Also, a cooler friend would be maybe a deaf friend or a blind friend.

00:19:19.000 But I had a black friend, Derek Beckles.

00:19:21.000 He doesn't like me anymore, of course, who does.

00:19:25.000 And another cool friend, Mike Bannis.

00:19:28.000 And we were doing this road trip, and I had blue hair, and he had blonde dreads and whatever.

00:19:32.000 And when we showed up to her house, I know this sounds gay, but I think she was intimidated by how cool we were.

00:19:39.000 And we were just ready to rock.

00:19:41.000 That's the thing about us awesome cool people is we didn't we're over the fact that we're amazing.

00:19:45.000 We just want to hang out with you.

00:19:46.000 Tell us something interesting.

00:19:48.000 Become Michelle Malkin.

00:19:50.000 But she was acting really weird and uncomfortable.

00:19:52.000 Although it's just occurred to me now, what if she was just racist and she didn't like that we brought a black guy to her house?

00:20:00.000 No, I don't think so.

00:20:01.000 She was a hippie. 0.98

00:20:02.000 Anyway, we go to this bar in Seattle.

00:20:05.000 Let's go get wasted, as one does. 0.98

00:20:07.000 She's like, yeah, okay, I guess.

00:20:09.000 What?

00:20:10.000 And is this AC on, dude?

00:20:13.000 I'm cooking in here.

00:20:15.000 It's definitely on.

00:20:20.000 And there's in the bar, there's this bust.

00:20:24.000 It's a huge bust of Jimi Hendrix, because he's from Seattle, right?

00:20:28.000 And it's huge.

00:20:29.000 But then for some stupid reason, in the same plexiglass case, is the exact same bust, again, but tiny.

00:20:36.000 You got to put it on like maximum fan and not eco, but cool.

00:20:41.000 You young people don't understand extremism.

00:20:44.000 Everything has to be to the max in life.

00:20:47.000 There we go.

00:20:50.000 You guys are so subtle.

00:20:52.000 You youngsters.

00:20:57.000 So I'm just joking around with my friends.

00:20:58.000 She just got up to go pee, and I go, hey guys, guys.

00:21:02.000 Jimmy! 0.85

00:21:04.000 Jimmy! 0.85

00:21:05.000 Did you hear that?

00:21:06.000 The second Jimmy was very quiet because it was a little head.

00:21:09.000 Not the funniest joke in the world.

00:21:10.000 I'll concede that.

00:21:12.000 In fact, I only remember it because of this story.

00:21:14.000 So we're driving home back to her place after the bar.

00:21:18.000 She's been kind of quiet.

00:21:19.000 And then I'm looking over at her in the passenger seat and I go, are you okay?

00:21:25.000 Driving.

00:21:26.000 And she goes, I'm a little pissed off, actually.

00:21:30.000 And I go, what's the problem?

00:21:31.000 She goes, you know what the problem is.

00:21:33.000 I go, no, I have no fucking idea.

00:21:36.000 And she goes, I don't like being made fun of.

00:21:38.000 I don't like being ridiculed.

00:21:40.000 I don't like being trivialized.

00:21:42.000 What?

00:21:43.000 I didn't even think we were going to fuck because I was with two friends.

00:21:46.000 I didn't know she's staying at someone else's house.

00:21:48.000 So I'm solely here for your personality.

00:21:52.000 And it wasn't, I mean, we're on a road trip here.

00:21:54.000 I had to detour quite a bit to get to your stupid house.

00:21:57.000 And you've been a cunt all night. 1.00

00:21:59.000 I didn't say any of this.

00:22:00.000 But now there's a problem.

00:22:01.000 I go, what are you talking about, Jen?

00:22:03.000 Her name was Jen.

00:22:04.000 And she goes, when I got up to go pee, you right behind my beak, said, Jenny, Jenny.

00:22:14.000 That's what she overheard when I did my Jimmy Jimmy joke.

00:22:17.000 She heard Jenny Jenny.

00:22:19.000 And the irony is, from that moment forward, I did think Jenny.

00:22:22.000 I did think, fuck you.

00:22:25.000 You self-obsessed, paranoid bitch. 1.00

00:22:28.000 We never spoke again.

00:22:29.000 That was the end of Jen. 0.99

00:22:31.000 All thanks to Jimi Hendrix.

00:22:34.000 All right, so we talked about Ryan.

00:22:36.000 We talked about, God, I told him so many times, you are in danger, you dumbass.

00:22:44.000 And then I'd snoop, I'd see text.

00:22:48.000 Hey, where are you?

00:22:49.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:22:50.000 What are you doing?

00:22:52.000 But he just kept going back.

00:22:54.000 And he's an integral part of the show.

00:22:56.000 I know some people hate him, some people love him.

00:22:58.000 But he's not just an engineer.

00:22:59.000 He's a co-host.

00:23:01.000 So I'm not excited about this firing.

00:23:03.000 It's not advantageous to the brand.

00:23:07.000 And what the hell is he going to do now?

00:23:08.000 He always said if he got fired from this job, he'd join the Air Force.

00:23:12.000 What?

00:23:13.000 The Air Force?

00:23:14.000 Don't you have to be really good at math?

00:23:17.000 Don't you have to fly a plane to be in the Air Force?

00:23:20.000 It's not like the Army where they go, we'll take anyone.

00:23:22.000 We got to kill people.

00:23:23.000 The Air Force is flying machines.

00:23:26.000 I mean, now with his criminal record, I don't think any of them are going to take him.

00:23:29.000 Really?

00:23:30.000 Not even the Army, I don't think, yeah.

00:23:32.000 You can't be going to jail.

00:23:33.000 Just like, I'm signing up.

00:23:36.000 Yeah, that's the option they give you.

00:23:38.000 They say, it's either jail or join the Marines.

00:23:40.000 Sometimes they say that, or at least they did in my day.

00:23:45.000 I used to clean up at a barracks, an Army barracks near Montreal.

00:23:53.000 And a lot of those dudes in the Army were dudes who the judge said, you can either join the Army or go to jail.

00:24:00.000 Some of them seemed like Nazi skinheads.

00:24:02.000 But I had my hair dyed blonde, but it was like cone spikes, like GBH.

00:24:08.000 But I'm not going to do my hair all spiky to go pick up beer bottles at a barracks.

00:24:14.000 So I would just leave it like after the shower.

00:24:17.000 So I had like gorgeous blonde, like faggot hair. 1.00

00:24:20.000 Like I look like Farah Fawcett.

00:24:22.000 Bleached blonde.

00:24:24.000 I looked like a raging homosexual. 0.67

00:24:26.000 And all these guys have crew cuts, of course.

00:24:27.000 And as I'm picking up their beer, they would just always say, and they'd be drunk too.

00:24:30.000 They were allowed to drink on the barracks for some reason.

00:24:33.000 And they would just go, what the fuck is going on with your hair?

00:24:35.000 Do you have a mirror?

00:24:36.000 Look at yourself.

00:24:37.000 And they would offer me money to cut my hair.

00:24:40.000 I said, dudes, when I get it all set up, it looks tough.

00:24:44.000 Anyway, this episode is only half an hour.

00:24:47.000 This week it's all short episodes.

00:24:48.000 I didn't want to deny you the gav, like we've denied Jen all these years. 0.61

00:24:54.000 But I can't do a whole episode.

00:24:56.000 You're not getting hour episodes.

00:24:58.000 This is lean, mean, fight and machine holiday episodes.

00:25:02.000 How many minutes are we in now?

00:25:03.000 Do you know?

00:25:04.000 25.

00:25:05.000 Okay.

00:25:05.000 Shit, we're done.

00:25:07.000 Pretty much.

00:25:09.000 Do you want to watch a minute of the movie?

00:25:12.000 Wow.

00:25:14.000 Well, this is one of the, I think, it's not my favorite movie.

00:25:16.000 My favorite movie is Animal House, but this is in my top four.

00:25:21.000 It's Richard E. Grant and some other dude.

00:25:24.000 I think the guy who made this, he only did this and How to Get Ahead in Advertising, which is also a fucking masterpiece.

00:25:32.000 But because I blathered on so much, why don't you, actually, can you look up Star Wars with Nail and I?

00:25:40.000 Do you have the power to look up stuff?

00:25:43.000 I do, but would you say Star Wars?

00:25:45.000 Star Wars with Nail and I. So what they've done is they've taken parts of With Nail and I and dubbed it into Star Wars, and it might be a fun way to get you interested in this movie, which I'm at the point now where I'm jealous of people who haven't seen it because I've seen it So many times that I'm just watching, like, I'm just like putting on the Rolling Stones and listening to satisfaction.

00:26:05.000 It's just like a greatest hits kind of thing.

00:26:10.000 But yeah, the plot is two out-of-work actors in 1970 London who cannot get work and they have a rich uncle, Uncle Monty, and Monty loans them his summer cabin, which it turns out is a piece of shit because rich people, they like to be rustic in Britain.

00:26:30.000 Old money rich people in Britain, they have like a tiny stone cabin where you have to do everything yourself because they're not, you know, nouveau riche.

00:26:38.000 They don't have a Miami palace.

00:26:40.000 So it's about them suffering through that.

00:26:42.000 Pretty sure I got it if you want.

00:26:43.000 Life in London.

00:26:44.000 But I'm jumping ahead here, assuming you've seen the movie, which you haven't, to a Star Wars version of the film.

00:26:56.000 outside penriff Okay, too much.

00:27:07.000 Scroll ahead.

00:27:10.000 Oh, my boys, my boys.

00:27:13.000 Forgive me.

00:27:15.000 It wasn't considered to be an option television.

00:27:21.000 You have to know the movie to find this plan.

00:27:25.000 Garlic.

00:27:26.000 Rosemary and salt.

00:27:27.000 We're intercepted no justice.

00:27:29.000 This is a consular ship.

00:27:31.000 We're on a diplomatic mission.

00:27:34.000 There.

00:27:34.000 Now, garlic.

00:27:37.000 No, this is terrible.

00:27:40.000 I can never touch meat until it's cooked.

00:27:42.000 As a youth, I used to weep in horseshoes.

00:27:46.000 Stop, stop, stop.

00:27:47.000 That's terrible.

00:27:49.000 This is only for fans.

00:27:50.000 I shouldn't have forced you to endure that.

00:27:53.000 That's only wonderful to those who have seen it.

00:27:55.000 Free to those who can afford it.

00:27:58.000 But that was wonderful.

00:27:59.000 They were talking, of course, about Uncle Monty, who is a raging homosexual. 0.99

00:28:03.000 I left out that detail.

00:28:04.000 Who's hitting on the one that's not his kin when he goes to greet them at the cabin?

00:28:10.000 And he says, he doesn't like meat, and that's why he just said, as a boy, I used to weep in butcher shops.

00:28:18.000 Can you look up Uncle Monty?

00:28:20.000 Let's just have a sizzle reel. 1.00

00:28:21.000 Because he's really the best part of the whole film.

00:28:23.000 He was in Harry Potter, too.

00:28:25.000 I think he died.

00:28:25.000 Yeah, he died recently.

00:28:26.000 Fucking Richard E. Grant came to New York City recently and did a Q ⁇ A about Whitnail and I for fans, and I didn't know about it until it was over.

00:28:36.000 If I get a time machine, I'm not killing Hitler. 0.56

00:28:39.000 I'm going to that.

00:28:44.000 But the quotes from it, and my wife and I, we don't agree on politics and we can drift apart sometimes, but every time our marriage is not going perfectly, we watch that movie together and it just realigns us.

00:28:56.000 We get drunk and we watch the whole thing and just, you know, recite it as it's going.

00:29:03.000 And it reminds both of us how much we love each other and how much we have in common.

00:29:06.000 Another fun thing to do with your wife, by the way, is we lie on the carpet and we listen to records because we have the same taste in music. 0.94

00:29:14.000 Hooskerdew and, you know, old sort of 90s, 80s hardcore, the replacements, Minneapolis kind of Midwest stuff, Diekrutsen even.

00:29:24.000 She loves all that stuff.

00:29:25.000 And that again realigns us and we remember what we have in common.

00:29:29.000 It's very important to have date night with your wife.

00:29:31.000 I'm just blathering here hoping that you can find something.

00:29:35.000 I found a bunch of Uncle Monty clips, but there's only single clips, no like compilation.

00:29:39.000 Okay, fine.

00:29:41.000 I can't believe I thought I was going to watch this movie with you for half an hour and my verbal diarrhea drowned you all.

00:29:52.000 I've never had Michelob Ultra before.

00:29:54.000 It's very pleasant.

00:29:59.000 Oh, this is a classic case to do.

00:30:03.000 God fulfills himself in many ways.

00:30:08.000 And soon.

00:30:09.000 We shall be swept away by some tumor.

00:30:14.000 I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumor.

00:30:19.000 Just pause.

00:30:20.000 How about the writing in this film?

00:30:23.000 And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumor.

00:30:32.000 I bought the screenplay because sometimes you just have to read that because Uncle Monty packs so much into every sentence.

00:30:39.000 And as he's saying this, I think Richard Grant is his nephew, so he's fine.

00:30:44.000 But the other guy is starting to realize, this guy's a raging homosexual who wants to fuck me. 0.89

00:30:49.000 I'm not comfortable here.

00:30:51.000 Keep going.

00:30:53.000 Oh, my boys.

00:30:54.000 My boys.

00:30:55.000 My boys, we're at the end of an age.

00:30:59.000 We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shoveled up by labor.

00:31:09.000 And here we are, we three.

00:31:12.000 Perhaps the last island of beauty in the world.

00:31:18.000 I've just realized here that I'm telling you about a very important movie, and I'm just showing you clips of a homosexual and then giggling maniacally. 1.00

00:31:26.000 You think I'm gay.

00:31:28.000 We're also out of time.

00:31:30.000 Well, thanks a lot for thinking that I'm gay, but please see that movie.

00:31:35.000 It defines a lot of the humor of this show.

00:31:39.000 I showed it to my father-in-law, actually, thinking we would bond, you know, because his daughter loves it.

00:31:45.000 And he goes, and I go, you didn't love that?

00:31:49.000 And he goes, I guess I'm not cool.

00:31:51.000 And then walked away.

00:31:53.000 So it's conceivable that you will not take these movie recommendations to heart, but you will on tomorrow's episode because it involves Animal House.

00:32:08.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:32:12.000 And by the way, when I say get fired, I don't mean for dating a lunatic.

00:32:16.000 I mean for being yourself and being proud of who you are.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 01, 2019

S02E29 - WITHNAIL & I

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