Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 26, 2019


S02E51 - AND WE’RE BACK


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 3 minutes

Words per minute

178.479

Word count

11,265

Sentence count

1,225

Harmful content

Misogyny

85

sentences flagged

Hate speech

59

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this week's episode, the boys talk about their summer sunburns, the worst thing they've ever done to each other, and the one thing they would do to anyone else. They also talk about what it's like to have a kid with Down Syndrome, and how it's not as bad as you think it is.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:27.000 I know pain is as natural as the rain.
00:00:31.000 I just thought it didn't rain.
00:00:34.000 California Oh shit I have a red vest on Yeah.
00:00:50.000 That's really bad, isn't it?
00:00:52.000 Jeez.
00:00:53.000 Louise.
00:00:54.000 Yeah, you know what's funny about this sunburn too is I was sitting on the beach and my where these friends show up at like 3.30.
00:01:01.000 And they go, what are you doing?
00:01:03.000 Because they're all sunscreening up.
00:01:04.000 I go, you get sunburned from 11 till 3.
00:01:08.000 You're sitting there lathering and their daughter comes on.
00:01:10.000 She's like 10. 0.89
00:01:12.000 I go, stop.
00:01:13.000 You're not going to get sunburned anymore.
00:01:16.000 And then the next day I woke up just red lobster for the seafood lover in you.
00:01:20.000 And this is two days ago.
00:01:22.000 I've had this for two days.
00:01:23.000 This armpit you're seeing is two days old.
00:01:26.000 Look at that line.
00:01:28.000 That's terrifying.
00:01:29.000 But I'm still right.
00:01:31.000 I got this sunburn between 11 and 2.
00:01:33.000 I wore nothing.
00:01:35.000 I was under the impression that I had a little bit of African in me.
00:01:38.000 Apparently not.
00:01:41.000 What does your back look like?
00:01:42.000 It's not that bad.
00:01:45.000 Oh, no, it is.
00:01:46.000 That's a drastic different color than...
00:01:51.000 My arms were like this.
00:01:53.000 Yeah.
00:01:54.000 Forever.
00:01:56.000 Many hours, yeah.
00:01:57.000 Jeez, man.
00:01:59.000 This second angle really shows the redness.
00:01:59.000 Yeah.
00:02:01.000 I think the saturation's up or something.
00:02:03.000 Oh, let me see.
00:02:04.000 Well, I can't see because the camera's in the way.
00:02:06.000 It looks brutal.
00:02:07.000 So we don't have anything prepared.
00:02:08.000 Right.
00:02:09.000 So that's why we made it live.
00:02:10.000 Just spice it up.
00:02:11.000 Just let you know that the mic wasn't on for two seconds where you said goodbye, Brazy Point in the intro.
00:02:16.000 Why wasn't the mic on?
00:02:18.000 Because if that came up, then it would echo.
00:02:21.000 I put it down just to make sure that we don't stream some private info.
00:02:25.000 Yeah, we should have streamed some private info because the private info was that you kept fucking up. 0.67
00:02:30.000 I come into the studio.
00:02:31.000 I'm late, by the way.
00:02:33.000 Very late.
00:02:34.000 And he's napping.
00:02:35.000 I ran into things to do.
00:02:36.000 After we talked about napping.
00:02:37.000 Yeah, I ran into things to do sitting here.
00:02:40.000 And I was like, all right, let me sit on the couch and catch up with some things.
00:02:44.000 Like napping?
00:02:45.000 Baby's nap.
00:02:46.000 Geriatrics nap.
00:02:47.000 You're 29.
00:02:48.000 I got done 30.
00:02:50.000 I think I have Lyme's disease.
00:02:52.000 No joke.
00:02:52.000 That has to be.
00:02:54.000 That's good?
00:02:55.000 That's terrible.
00:02:55.000 Yeah.
00:02:56.000 No, it answers so many questions.
00:02:58.000 No, no, no.
00:02:59.000 Yes, it does.
00:03:00.000 I'm not mad at you.
00:03:01.000 You're like, if you were diagnosed with Down syndrome, I would go, no, no, no, no.
00:03:05.000 You're a genius.
00:03:06.000 I'd be so proud.
00:03:07.000 Right.
00:03:08.000 Of your boy.
00:03:09.000 So if you're sick and dying, that's great news.
00:03:11.000 I don't think I'm dying, but I'd.
00:03:12.000 Lyme disease is like dying.
00:03:14.000 It's like multiple sclerosis.
00:03:15.000 Yeah, I have it.
00:03:17.000 I'm sure of it.
00:03:18.000 I live upstate New York most of the time.
00:03:19.000 Did you ever have a bullseye?
00:03:21.000 Yeah.
00:03:22.000 I went to the, after California, I came back and I had this.
00:03:25.000 What do you mean after California?
00:03:27.000 Do you think my life, my calendar goes by when Ryan was in California?
00:03:27.000 When I came back from California.
00:03:32.000 Oh, yes.
00:03:32.000 My daughter was born shortly after Ryan got back from California.
00:03:36.000 AC.
00:03:36.000 Post-California.
00:03:37.000 Post-AC.
00:03:40.000 When was that?
00:03:41.000 Yeah, a couple years ago.
00:03:43.000 Did you think that's the one?
00:03:44.000 Okay, that's my German Siri.
00:03:46.000 Apparently we said something to make it go off.
00:03:50.000 Why is your phone on?
00:03:52.000 You're already up to like seven mistakes.
00:03:53.000 No, it's muted.
00:03:55.000 But if you say something that sounds like hey, Siri in German.
00:03:58.000 What's hey, Sirian German? 0.91
00:04:00.000 I haven't figured it out yet.
00:04:01.000 I just hold the button down.
00:04:03.000 His Siri is in German, by the way, folks at home.
00:04:05.000 Because he thinks that will teach him German.
00:04:08.000 That was pretty good.
00:04:12.000 So we got the Siri thing.
00:04:13.000 That counts as a mistake.
00:04:14.000 You're on a show.
00:04:15.000 Shit for brains.
00:04:17.000 we have the That was Vampire Weekend, by the way.
00:04:21.000 Cheating on, cheating on me.
00:04:23.000 It's kind of been the theme song for the summer.
00:04:26.000 My kids are even singing it a lot, which sounds weird hearing a 10-year-old sing about someone cheating on him.
00:04:34.000 What else?
00:04:36.000 Lyme disease.
00:04:37.000 Took you nine years to set everything up.
00:04:39.000 That's not really a mistake, though.
00:04:42.000 Napping.
00:04:43.000 Napping in there.
00:04:44.000 So three big mistakes so far.
00:04:46.000 This thing, you hate that.
00:04:48.000 You don't know.
00:04:49.000 That's nothing, dude.
00:04:50.000 You have no idea how annoying you are if you think that's particularly annoying.
00:04:56.000 So yeah, vacation's over.
00:04:57.000 We're going to start getting serious.
00:04:58.000 I guess tomorrow we'll get more hardcore with the news, Antifa stuff, Donald Trump stuff, free speech stuff.
00:05:06.000 We forgot to talk about Laura Loomer's case, which seems to be doing well.
00:05:11.000 Although, I don't want to trivialize her success, but I fear that this next step that the judge okayed her complaint to go through is just a technicality.
00:05:22.000 It's not that much of a dancing in the streets win.
00:05:25.000 But I'll take it.
00:05:27.000 It's a great step to her exposing big tech, and you were on your phone.
00:05:32.000 Who are you talking to?
00:05:33.000 The technician?
00:05:34.000 Why?
00:05:34.000 Yes.
00:05:35.000 Was there a problem with this live feed?
00:05:37.000 Five minutes ago, he said we weren't live.
00:05:40.000 But everything over here is normal.
00:05:42.000 Okay, so they missed the beginning of the show if they tuned in live?
00:05:45.000 Oh, okay, no.
00:05:46.000 Something was totally broken on the apps.
00:05:47.000 It's fixed.
00:05:48.000 Okay, so on the site, we would have been live.
00:05:50.000 Okay, yeah, we're good.
00:05:51.000 That's you.
00:05:52.000 All right, cool.
00:05:53.000 What was that win thing?
00:05:54.000 That was your voice coming.
00:05:55.000 I would just check the stream to see if it lies.
00:06:01.000 I guess we caught up on your vacation where you pay your lesbian friends to hang out with you. 1.00
00:06:05.000 We got that.
00:06:07.000 That's one way to put it, yeah.
00:06:10.000 But I had a fight with my wife we should discuss.
00:06:13.000 Right.
00:06:14.000 You seem kind of happy about this fight because you're like, wow, your life is kind of messed up too sometimes.
00:06:19.000 I don't think it's funny because it's messed up.
00:06:20.000 I just think it's like a kind of a cutesy fight.
00:06:24.000 And the fight is that my wife got the word fireball tattooed on her neck. 1.00
00:06:28.000 And she doesn't see how people Will immediately think of the whiskey when she says that, even though it's in a different font, it's in like an old school tattoo font.
00:06:35.000 That's cool.
00:06:36.000 Okay, I was having a hard time picturing it, but it's old-school tattoo.
00:06:39.000 And there's no fireball on it.
00:06:43.000 And she just likes fireballs. 1.00
00:06:45.000 I don't even, what is a fireball?
00:06:48.000 I've heard fire plug in reference to like, wow, she's a real fireplug. 1.00
00:06:53.000 But what is a like, do they occur in nature?
00:06:55.000 Is it when an asteroid comes through the Earth's atmosphere and bursts into flames?
00:06:59.000 Is that a fireball?
00:07:00.000 What's a literal fireball?
00:07:03.000 Not the whiskey.
00:07:04.000 Fireball definition.
00:07:06.000 A ball of flame or fire.
00:07:07.000 Yeah, but how does it occur in nature?
00:07:09.000 Oh, okay, here.
00:07:11.000 A crashed tanker exploded in a fireball.
00:07:15.000 A large bright meteor.
00:07:17.000 Or historical, a ball filled with combustibles or explosives fired at enemy or enemy fortifications.
00:07:22.000 A ball of explosives, like a cannon?
00:07:25.000 Or a person with a fiery temper or a great deal of energy.
00:07:29.000 Yeah, yeah, we got that.
00:07:30.000 That's not the question.
00:07:31.000 The question is, I like how you put your finger up.
00:07:34.000 Or, and then you use the metaphorical fireball.
00:07:36.000 I'm talking about literal fireballs.
00:07:38.000 Maybe look it up on YouTube.
00:07:39.000 Maybe there's a video.
00:07:40.000 It'd be cool if there's a thing where there's some sort of natural gas spring and then every four days, a giant ball of fire appears.
00:07:49.000 This, wait, I think this helps because up until the 1950s, the term fireball was barely used.
00:07:55.000 So it is kind of trending upwards.
00:07:57.000 Shut up, Brian.
00:07:58.000 It's getting more popular.
00:07:59.000 Just go to YouTube and see if you can find a fireball in nature.
00:08:03.000 Because if it just means an explosion, I mean, those are relatively spherical.
00:08:08.000 Sure.
00:08:09.000 They're not really balls.
00:08:11.000 Like, it goes.
00:08:12.000 And then there's like the tree part, like a nuclear explosion.
00:08:16.000 Holy shit, I thought of a funny joke.
00:08:19.000 You know what?
00:08:20.000 I woke up with the terrors last night, and I was thinking, I was just like doing odd jobs in my brain, which people that aren't retarded do. 1.00
00:08:27.000 Like you just go to sleep because there's nothing else.
00:08:29.000 I do little puzzles.
00:08:31.000 I do puzzles too.
00:08:32.000 So I went through your set as your set you did at Guitar Wizard.
00:08:37.000 Imperial Guitar.
00:08:39.000 And I started rewriting it.
00:08:40.000 Did you?
00:08:41.000 Yeah.
00:08:42.000 And I thought of some jokes you could add.
00:08:44.000 My dad is Japanese.
00:08:47.000 He was around a lot.
00:08:48.000 I remember there's a lot of fighting, and then poof, he was gone.
00:08:52.000 It was kind of like Hiroshima. 0.82
00:08:54.000 Like a lot of yelling, and then foom, in a cloud of smoke, he was gone.
00:08:59.000 Gotcha.
00:09:00.000 But I still talk to him sometimes.
00:09:01.000 You know, I still hang out with him.
00:09:03.000 We're close.
00:09:04.000 You know, I see him every 10 years or so, and we hang out for three hours.
00:09:07.000 And he's a very subdued dude.
00:09:10.000 So he's like, Ryan, we have to get somewhere.
00:09:14.000 We'll go to the beach, maybe.
00:09:17.000 But because he's kind of a Luddite, when he sends emails, they're in all caps.
00:09:23.000 And it's Nagasaki all over again. 0.68
00:09:23.000 Yes. 0.68
00:09:25.000 It's like, who put a quarter in you?
00:09:28.000 So he goes, Ryan, we need to go to the beach on Friday.
00:09:32.000 Oh, no.
00:09:33.000 Did you watch the set again?
00:09:34.000 No, I remember it.
00:09:35.000 Okay.
00:09:37.000 And you really ham up the screaming?
00:09:39.000 Yeah.
00:09:40.000 And then other people would get mad at him.
00:09:42.000 And then I thought, wait a minute, maybe that's why him and my mom split up.
00:09:46.000 Because she thought he was yelling.
00:09:48.000 The whole time.
00:09:49.000 And he's so subdued that when he blew up on the email, she went, that's it.
00:09:53.000 I can't handle it.
00:09:54.000 I must have really pissed him off.
00:09:55.000 She doesn't want to see him because she's like, wow, this guy's pissed.
00:09:58.000 And then you let a beat go.
00:09:59.000 You let the laughter die and you go, I'm an orphan of all caps.
00:10:04.000 That is funny.
00:10:05.000 I'm an all-caps orphan.
00:10:06.000 That is very funny.
00:10:07.000 Yeah.
00:10:08.000 I also had a nightmare that I know it's boring to talk about your dreams, but I woke up and then just made this into a movie.
00:10:14.000 Ready for this?
00:10:16.000 So the nightmare is that these women, this woman at a restaurant who co-owns a restaurant with her husband, she's been given this drug that makes her paralyzed.
00:10:26.000 She's still awake and everything.
00:10:28.000 And then two men rape her. 0.99
00:10:31.000 So you see her and they draw up the scene and they make the man, like you make it, it's a horror movie, really.
00:10:36.000 And you make the man like, and you just show her like absolute terror, but she can't do anything.
00:10:42.000 Maybe you see a tear sort of go, right?
00:10:45.000 It's not sexual, don't get me wrong.
00:10:48.000 So then I woke up and I was wanted for setting that up.
00:10:51.000 I didn't do the actual raping, but I have a lot of, believe it or not, I have a lot of nightmares about being falsely accused.
00:10:57.000 So I woke up and I was happy that, you know, when you think you lost your passport and you wake up and you realize it was just a dream.
00:11:02.000 I was happy I wasn't wanted for the most sadistic rapes in the history of America.
00:11:07.000 Then I thought, okay, how's this for a movie?
00:11:10.000 It's about a stalker.
00:11:11.000 Remember Robin Williams when he was the photographer and he collected pictures of people?
00:11:15.000 One hour photo.
00:11:16.000 So it's kind of like that.
00:11:16.000 One hour photo.
00:11:17.000 Did you ever show a fireball video?
00:11:19.000 I have one queued up.
00:11:20.000 Why didn't you just show it while I'm talking?
00:11:23.000 I don't want to interrupt you.
00:11:25.000 Fireball.
00:11:28.000 That's true, Jim Gaffigan fireball.
00:11:30.000 Why is he always hungry than fireballs?
00:11:32.000 Why is it exploding in the sky?
00:11:35.000 Hopefully it's made of bacon.
00:11:37.000 It's so pale.
00:11:39.000 He's so pale and fat.
00:11:44.000 That's cool.
00:11:45.000 It's a stalker type of guy, right?
00:11:47.000 Yeah.
00:11:48.000 And like Robin Williams in One Hour Photo, and he becomes obsessed with this really friendly, gregarious restaurant owner who's a really lovable guy, kind of a me kind of a guy, and his beautiful wife, loving wife, and they run this big restaurant.
00:12:01.000 It's got a bar, it's got different sections, got an outdoor section.
00:12:04.000 It's a pretty successful restaurant in a nice town like Vermont, right?
00:12:10.000 And this guy becomes obsessed with them.
00:12:12.000 And in the beginning of the movie, the obsessed guy seems like an okay guy.
00:12:16.000 And you're seeing him.
00:12:18.000 And then we start to see him looking at the wife.
00:12:21.000 And then they show him like this, like, and so he starts befriending the owner.
00:12:27.000 The owner often tends bar.
00:12:28.000 And the stalker becomes friendly with the owner.
00:12:31.000 And you can steal this for a movie, by the way.
00:12:35.000 And then he starts doing odd jobs around the restaurant for him, and they become friends.
00:12:40.000 And then the stalker decides, I'm in love with his wife.
00:12:45.000 I want her, and I want this restaurant.
00:12:48.000 And so he gets involved in like, he somehow finds criminals.
00:12:53.000 I got to figure that out.
00:12:54.000 But he sets up these guys.
00:12:55.000 he pays them $10,000 each to rape this woman, to gang rape her, and he gets the drugs and everything, right?
00:13:00.000 His plan is to...
00:13:09.000 So, this is another interesting twist of the film.
00:13:11.000 She's kind of a feminist icon where she doesn't let herself be defined by this rape and she continues to go to work. 1.00
00:13:16.000 And yes, she's shredded inside.
00:13:18.000 And yes, she has nightmares.
00:13:20.000 Yes, she's traumatized, but she keeps going to work and she keeps struggling.
00:13:24.000 So she's kind of, she kind of might be the protagonist of the whole film.
00:13:29.000 Maybe I wrote a chick flick. 0.61
00:13:31.000 Maybe it's J-Lo.
00:13:32.000 But anyway, so he says to the restaurant owner, I'm so fucking pissed about this.
00:13:37.000 What's his name?
00:13:38.000 Mark.
00:13:38.000 Marcus?
00:13:39.000 Yeah, Marcus.
00:13:40.000 I'm so fucking pissed about this, Marcus.
00:13:42.000 I'm going to help you get these guys.
00:13:44.000 Now, of course, Marcus, the guy who owns a restaurant, is insane with rage, right?
00:13:49.000 Charles Bronson shit.
00:13:50.000 So what he does is, with the goading of this psycho-stalker, they find the guys and he like drops them off.
00:13:59.000 He goes, I think I found them.
00:14:00.000 Meanwhile, of course, you found them.
00:14:01.000 You hired them to do the raping. 1.00
00:14:03.000 And he somehow washes his hands of it and brings this maybe Malcolm's a better name?
00:14:09.000 Brings this Marcus guy to where they are, gives them a gun and everything. 0.69
00:14:14.000 And he says the cereal lumber's been rubbed off.
00:14:17.000 It's safe.
00:14:18.000 He kills them.
00:14:20.000 But, of course, murder, it's the hardest thing in the world to pull off.
00:14:23.000 He gets caught, goes to jail, even though it's vigilante justice.
00:14:26.000 The judge doesn't care.
00:14:27.000 You can't go murdering people.
00:14:28.000 So he gets like 25 years.
00:14:31.000 And then the owner of the restaurant says, while you're there, can you look after the restaurant while I'm gone?
00:14:37.000 And he goes, I'll try, man.
00:14:39.000 I'll try.
00:14:40.000 So he starts looking after the restaurant.
00:14:42.000 And he now, he has his life.
00:14:45.000 And then he starts hitting on the wife.
00:14:47.000 She's not going to see her husband for 25 years.
00:14:49.000 She's going to have some wine.
00:14:50.000 She's still traumatized. 0.56
00:14:52.000 And then he starts slowly seducing the wife.
00:14:55.000 Now, that's all where I am with it.
00:14:59.000 Now, maybe there could be some giveaway.
00:14:59.000 Okay.
00:15:00.000 Like he wants her, when he has sex with her, he wants her to act paralyzed.
00:15:05.000 Oh, okay.
00:15:06.000 Or he only wants to have sex with her when she's like blackout, drunk, passed out, and she wakes up in the middle of it.
00:15:11.000 And she starts realizing what's going on.
00:15:13.000 So maybe she starts piecing it together.
00:15:15.000 And then she goes to the jail. 0.59
00:15:17.000 She still visits him.
00:15:18.000 And then he goes, you need to get out of there.
00:15:20.000 Holy shit, you're right.
00:15:21.000 He is evil, blah, blah, blah.
00:15:22.000 And she goes, I'm not going anywhere.
00:15:24.000 And then she starts seducing him and getting him to spill the beans. 1.00
00:15:28.000 And they make him confess.
00:15:30.000 Oh, okay.
00:15:32.000 Not confess, but they managed to trap him and, you know, get him on tape or whatever.
00:15:37.000 She honeypots him.
00:15:38.000 Honeypots him.
00:15:39.000 Yeah.
00:15:39.000 Uses her feminine wails.
00:15:41.000 Is that the word?
00:15:42.000 Wiles.
00:15:43.000 Like almost like she starts introducing that she likes it.
00:15:46.000 So she'll like be tied up.
00:15:48.000 Help.
00:15:48.000 I can't.
00:15:49.000 And then he gets out of jail.
00:15:50.000 The husband gets out of jail.
00:15:52.000 I'd have to talk to a lawyer about that, but couldn't you say like I was basically forced to kill those guys?
00:15:56.000 That would take a while.
00:15:57.000 Maybe he gets out of jail like maybe he does eight years.
00:16:01.000 And then they get out and they save and they're happy again.
00:16:04.000 What do you think of my horror thriller?
00:16:04.000 That's good.
00:16:06.000 I think the eight years helps because that makes there's more.
00:16:10.000 It's plausible.
00:16:12.000 No matter what the conditions, you can't just kill someone who raped your wife.
00:16:16.000 Right.
00:16:16.000 I mean, I want you to.
00:16:17.000 Yeah.
00:16:18.000 But as far as the law goes, you have to go to jail for a little bit.
00:16:21.000 And that's eight years that these two are together, the stalker and the victim chick.
00:16:25.000 No.
00:16:26.000 No, dumbass.
00:16:28.000 They're not together?
00:16:29.000 Nobody wants to watch a movie where Satan is fucking your wife for eight years.
00:16:34.000 They have sex like once.
00:16:36.000 He's in jail.
00:16:37.000 The whole her figuring out what's going on is only going to be like six months.
00:16:41.000 Oh, okay.
00:16:42.000 But you know the key to this movie is you have to make the guy, the psycho, really likable and cool.
00:16:49.000 So when you first see him looking at the wife's ass or whatever, you're just like, oh, well, shit happens.
00:16:55.000 Kind of rooting for him.
00:16:56.000 I mean, who hasn't coveted thy neighbor's wife? 1.00
00:16:56.000 Whatever. 1.00
00:16:59.000 And then he does it like a few more times and you're sort of going, all right, buddy, take it easy.
00:17:03.000 And then you don't want to admit that he's a psycho killer.
00:17:07.000 And you get, and like you're mad at yourself now.
00:17:10.000 Dang.
00:17:10.000 Because you're like, I fucking like that guy.
00:17:14.000 All right, I think my nipples are a little too hard for television.
00:17:17.000 They're a little too pink to be seen.
00:17:19.000 They're kind of blending right.
00:17:20.000 That's a good t-shirt.
00:17:21.000 Too pink to be seen.
00:17:23.000 We do, we need a printer.
00:17:25.000 It's the Caucasian equivalent of too black, too strong. 1.00
00:17:28.000 Too pink.
00:17:30.000 To be seen.
00:17:31.000 That's pretty dope.
00:17:32.000 That's our new John Cena.
00:17:33.000 You can't see me.
00:17:34.000 Anyway, so we got to talk about this fight with the wife and the fireball tattoo.
00:17:39.000 You were saying that one of the reasons...
00:17:44.000 Fireball.
00:17:46.000 Okay.
00:17:47.000 You were saying one of the reasons that she's being so stubborn about it and refusing to admit it was a mistake is that she can't remove it. 0.92
00:17:54.000 So it's like...
00:17:57.000 It's like a black person saying, I love being black. 0.51
00:17:59.000 What else are you going to say?
00:18:00.000 Not that black people don't like to be black.
00:18:02.000 That's a terrible analogy.
00:18:03.000 It's like a white person saying they love being white?
00:18:05.000 It's like you get a blue car and then it winds up being all shitty.
00:18:08.000 And then somebody else got the same car, but it's red, and they're like, I like this red car better.
00:18:12.000 And everybody's like, yeah, well, I like the blue one better.
00:18:15.000 You know what is good about your analogies?
00:18:17.000 It makes me understand the etymology of the term stink because they're so bad, I almost can smell them.
00:18:23.000 They're stinky?
00:18:24.000 They're stinky.
00:18:27.000 No, it's like someone with no arms.
00:18:30.000 Like, I kind of like it.
00:18:31.000 I wouldn't want arms.
00:18:33.000 Anyway.
00:18:34.000 But I think the reason, hold on, before that I got there is because we had good points, though, of saying, like, that's a team thing where you say if she dyed her hair, hopefully you want to check in with your significant other.
00:18:46.000 Just dye it back.
00:18:48.000 But that's something that you should clear with your significant other.
00:18:51.000 Hey, I'm going to dye my hair.
00:18:52.000 What do you think?
00:18:53.000 Yeah, that's valid.
00:18:54.000 If you do it by yourself, Right.
00:19:00.000 And I would be so mad.
00:19:02.000 But I mean, I wouldn't.
00:19:03.000 It's her choice, obviously.
00:19:05.000 Okay, let's get to the crux of this.
00:19:07.000 You ready?
00:19:08.000 Yes.
00:19:10.000 The fact that you have believed my wife got a neck tattoo that says fireball.
00:19:16.000 Are you serious?
00:19:17.000 For three days now.
00:19:20.000 I did.
00:19:21.000 Boggles the mind.
00:19:22.000 Are you...
00:19:28.000 Will you throw that phone in the toilet, please?
00:19:31.000 We woke up German Siri. 0.86
00:19:34.000 She's an upper middle-class woman with three kids. 1.00
00:19:37.000 She's in her 40s.
00:19:40.000 No one has a neck tattoo.
00:19:42.000 Like, you'd have to be.
00:19:43.000 It's like gangsters, tattoo artists.
00:19:45.000 You think a middle-aged woman is going to get fireball on her neck? 1.00
00:19:48.000 She's a cool person.
00:19:51.000 It's not cool to get fireball on your neck.
00:19:53.000 But she's spontaneal. 0.98
00:19:55.000 Spontaneal.
00:19:56.000 All I did on purpose.
00:19:57.000 So that's one purpose.
00:19:57.000 So you fell for that.
00:19:59.000 Yeah, I fell for your typo.
00:20:02.000 Yeah, dude.
00:20:03.000 She does not have a fireball tattoo on her neck.
00:20:06.000 I'm glad to hear that.
00:20:07.000 She's sitting in this passenger seat.
00:20:09.000 You were on speaker for you.
00:20:10.000 She's serious?
00:20:11.000 And she was laughing her head off. 1.00
00:20:13.000 And she kept saying, she didn't believe me.
00:20:15.000 She's like, you guys are pranking me.
00:20:18.000 He doesn't believe I have a fireball.
00:20:20.000 And then the fact that I told you that she doesn't see how people would think of it as the whiskey.
00:20:26.000 Right.
00:20:27.000 Like someone gets a fireball tattoo and it has nothing to do with the whiskey.
00:20:31.000 That doesn't happen.
00:20:32.000 You know, here's another thing, too, is I was like, what?
00:20:35.000 He's in a really good mood because you were like, yeah, dude, that's what I told her, too.
00:20:40.000 I was like, every time you brought up something about it, it was always idiotic, by the way. 0.99
00:20:44.000 I go, that's what I said.
00:20:45.000 Yeah.
00:20:46.000 And I was like, well, nailed it again, Ryguy.
00:20:50.000 That hurts.
00:20:52.000 Unbelievable.
00:20:54.000 It's the hardest I've heard her laugh in a long time.
00:20:57.000 You guys used to call me while you were just hanging out and then do your John Taffer version.
00:21:04.000 I'm a fireball.
00:21:05.000 Oh, yeah.
00:21:06.000 And then I used to do that, and then that was fun.
00:21:08.000 But this was harder laughs than that because I heard hard laughs for that.
00:21:11.000 Yeah, my wife just wanted to hear you do funny imitations. 1.00
00:21:13.000 That's just like a dog doing tricks.
00:21:20.000 But this is really.
00:21:23.000 I'm amazed.
00:21:24.000 I'm appalled at everybody.
00:21:26.000 You should be.
00:21:27.000 Yep.
00:21:28.000 You should be.
00:21:28.000 By the way, when I thought that Milo painted the Statue of Liberty Blue, I thought he just went up and just hit the toe with like a little paint.
00:21:35.000 So that's not entirely crazy.
00:21:37.000 Okay, let's just explain to the viewers that idiocracy.
00:21:41.000 I pre-recorded some episodes.
00:21:43.000 Today's not pre-recorded.
00:21:44.000 Today is Monday.
00:21:45.000 I don't have the paper on me.
00:21:46.000 Donald Trump is on the cover.
00:21:48.000 Him and Macron are having a fight because Macron invited some Iranian diplomat to a meeting they had, and Trump was pissed because he hates Iran, and he said no comment.
00:21:58.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:21:59.000 When you get to that level of foreign policy, I check out.
00:22:02.000 There's some things I check out on healthcare, global warming, China, China, China, frankly, China.
00:22:12.000 When you see these riots in China, do you feel anything?
00:22:15.000 It's like my dog.
00:22:16.000 I just look at it and go, die.
00:22:18.000 I just did because what they did was they chopped down, they removed one of those facial recognition towers and then they stomped on it.
00:22:27.000 I was like, yeah, I would want those things gone too.
00:22:29.000 Well, the Chinese thing is really spooky with this personality rating chart. 1.00
00:22:36.000 We have one, by the way.
00:22:37.000 It's just silent, right?
00:22:39.000 No.
00:22:40.000 No?
00:22:40.000 Well, we have a myriad of metaphorical ones, but we literally have one.
00:22:43.000 If you look up anyone's name, even your own name, or look up my name, Gavin McInnis personality chart, and they've just some random site rates people, which is an episode of Black Mirror.
00:22:57.000 So we're no longer predicting the dystopia, the big tech dystopia.
00:23:02.000 Is this it?
00:23:04.000 No, I don't know.
00:23:05.000 No, maybe I'm too famous.
00:23:07.000 But anyway, you look up random names and they have a little chart.
00:23:11.000 And in China, something like 80,000 people have been prevented from taking planes, flights, because their personality, they're not good enough people.
00:23:20.000 And of course, I think the government's mentality is you will defect if you leave Beijing and go somewhere fun like anywhere else.
00:23:31.000 You know what's better than Beijing?
00:23:33.000 Everything.
00:23:34.000 Some guy sent me a letter, by the way, saying, you were saying Moscow sucks and Glasgow is way better, even though Glasgow sucks.
00:23:41.000 And I'm just like, those kind of debates.
00:23:45.000 It's almost like a gay guy going, you like tits? 1.00
00:23:47.000 You're wrong.
00:23:48.000 No, I'm not, dude.
00:23:50.000 You're wrong.
00:23:51.000 You're weird.
00:23:52.000 This is weird?
00:23:54.000 ESTP.
00:23:55.000 What's that?
00:23:56.000 I don't know.
00:23:57.000 And somebody comments, I understand what people think ESTP, but y'all mother effers got it backwards.
00:24:04.000 EXTP, something wrong with anybody that says J. What the fuck is this?
00:24:08.000 What is going on?
00:24:09.000 This is weird.
00:24:10.000 E, 93%.
00:24:12.000 S, 78%.
00:24:13.000 Onwards and upwards.
00:24:14.000 27 votes.
00:24:16.000 The promoter.
00:24:18.000 Second place, the field marshal.
00:24:19.000 Inventor, counselor.
00:24:22.000 This is how people have personality database.
00:24:25.000 What the hell is E?
00:24:27.000 Oh, this should help.
00:24:28.000 Dom is C. Aux is T. Turfed is Phi.
00:24:33.000 And then if is Ni.
00:24:34.000 Ah, okay.
00:24:35.000 That's by functions.
00:24:36.000 Now I get it.
00:24:37.000 Yes.
00:24:38.000 Now I get it.
00:24:38.000 I should have mentioned that.
00:24:39.000 I'm sorry.
00:24:40.000 But yeah, Hong Kong is mad because they're a free country, sort of.
00:24:44.000 And Britain treated them well and got the free market going and they had free speech.
00:24:50.000 And then we gave them back in, what, the 90s, 92?
00:24:54.000 And then they said, I'll give you 10 years to be normal, but then we really get you back.
00:25:01.000 Sort of like if you got your kidnapped child bride back and she was 13 and they said, all right, but I want to have sex with her. 0.99
00:25:09.000 But at 23, I want to start having sex with her.
00:25:11.000 So China wants to have sex with Hong Kong. 0.91
00:25:13.000 And Hong Kong doesn't want to have sex with her because China has STDs. 1.00
00:25:18.000 And so they're riding in the streets.
00:25:19.000 And I don't give a shit.
00:25:20.000 I don't care.
00:25:22.000 I think it's cool that they like Pepe the Frog and they're wearing Trump hats.
00:25:25.000 Oh, look how much shit is in the streets.
00:25:27.000 What is this, India?
00:25:31.000 Those are obviously gas canisters.
00:25:32.000 That's a joke.
00:25:33.000 Oh, fuck.
00:25:34.000 Yeah, those are really dark Pepsi cans.
00:25:40.000 And that's interesting that they're patriotic and they're talking about becoming refugees.
00:25:45.000 And I'm into that.
00:25:46.000 I wish Trump would take Chinese Hong Kong refugees or South African farmer refugees or Tommy Robinson as a refugee.
00:25:54.000 Do you hear about that chick from Britain First is facing nine years in prison or something? 1.00
00:25:59.000 Oh, that one that went up to the motherfucking tits? 1.00
00:26:02.000 Yeah.
00:26:03.000 Britain first. 0.98
00:26:06.000 She has a name like Jada Pinkett-Smith.
00:26:09.000 Jada Franson?
00:26:11.000 That sounds right.
00:26:12.000 Yep, I think it's her.
00:26:13.000 Is she going to jail? 0.97
00:26:14.000 She's facing nine years?
00:26:16.000 That sucks, dude.
00:26:18.000 She was convicted.
00:26:19.000 Okay, this is from Martin.
00:26:21.000 I'm not a boob guy, but I respect boob guys.
00:26:24.000 It's sort of like Trump, although I am a Trump guy.
00:26:27.000 The thing I like best about Trump is his supporters.
00:26:29.000 They all just seem like great, good old-fashioned Americans.
00:26:32.000 And with guys who love tits, it's not my cup of tea. 1.00
00:26:34.000 I'm more of an ass man.
00:26:36.000 But whenever I meet a tit guy, he's always a good guy.
00:26:38.000 He was a big guy.
00:26:40.000 Usually a hard-working guy.
00:26:42.000 Kind of a 70s guy.
00:26:43.000 Tit men also seem to like Bushes. 0.99
00:26:46.000 They're adamant Bushmen. 0.99
00:26:46.000 Huh. 0.99
00:26:50.000 A good name for a band.
00:26:51.000 The adamant Bushmen.
00:26:52.000 Yeah, that is fucking great.
00:26:54.000 So she's convicted over hate speech. 0.53
00:26:56.000 Is she going to jail? 0.97
00:26:57.000 Like, when is that article?
00:26:58.000 March, when?
00:27:00.000 2019.
00:27:03.000 Jail for hate speech.
00:27:05.000 What the fuck is hate speech?
00:27:07.000 What is it?
00:27:08.000 And her other two compatriots there, Paul Golding and John Banks and Paul Rimmer, are the two guys.
00:27:15.000 Do we know Paul Golding?
00:27:16.000 They were acquitted on similar charges.
00:27:18.000 But she wasn't.
00:27:19.000 No.
00:27:22.000 Okay, you go read up on that on your own time and then tell me if she's in prison, going to prison.
00:27:28.000 I saw on Infowars they said we have an exclusive interview with her.
00:27:32.000 You're not allowed to interview people in prison.
00:27:33.000 I guess we should go to Britain, right?
00:27:35.000 Yeah.
00:27:36.000 We should go to Israel. 0.98
00:27:37.000 We should go to Britain. 0.97
00:27:38.000 I just hate traveling so much.
00:27:40.000 You do?
00:27:41.000 Hate it.
00:27:41.000 Oh, man.
00:27:42.000 It's so much time for so little.
00:27:46.000 Like, we could go out in Manhattan today and just shoot man on the streets.
00:27:50.000 And as far as what that would do to the quality of the site, it would be just about the same as going to fucking Israel, which would cost thousands of dollars and take days and days and days and days.
00:28:02.000 Do you know when you're looking up something, you click the search news and it becomes chronological?
00:28:08.000 Did you even know that?
00:28:09.000 Poop.
00:28:10.000 You didn't know that?
00:28:11.000 Nope.
00:28:11.000 The latest thing that I see is all from March and May.
00:28:14.000 So I don't.
00:28:17.000 You can't tell if she's in prison or not?
00:28:20.000 Maybe check her Wikipedia.
00:28:21.000 Maybe learn how to do your job.
00:28:22.000 I don't know.
00:28:27.000 So yeah, vacation's over.
00:28:28.000 We had fun, but man, having three kids in an area, like Breezy Point is great because they go out and stuff.
00:28:38.000 But you still have to be kind of a camp counselor.
00:28:42.000 And what the girl likes to do, the boy doesn't necessarily like to do.
00:28:46.000 And then the youngest boy, I got six, 11, and 12.
00:28:49.000 So the 11-year-old boy is just baseball.
00:28:51.000 The 12-year-old girl is like into weirdo stuff. 0.96
00:28:52.000 She really just wants to be around 12-year-old girls that are also weird.
00:28:56.000 Can't be like lacrosse normies.
00:28:58.000 They don't even like girls who wear crocs and stuff. 0.75
00:29:01.000 That's out.
00:29:03.000 Oh, she got 36 weeks.
00:29:05.000 36 weeks.
00:29:06.000 Yeah.
00:29:07.000 And she's serving them right now? 0.97
00:29:11.000 No, that was the 2018 conviction, so I don't think she's in right now.
00:29:16.000 Oh, I see.
00:29:18.000 Who would Infowars say she got nine years? 0.75
00:29:20.000 Maybe it was one of those things where the sentence said nine years, but the actual time served was 36 weeks.
00:29:24.000 Yeah.
00:29:25.000 So confusing, all this lost stuff.
00:29:26.000 And I never used to know any of it.
00:29:28.000 I'd have like the one friend who got busted for pot.
00:29:31.000 Now I'm talking about lawyers and courts and judges and DAs and special prosecutions and this jury and this appeal on a daily basis.
00:29:41.000 All my friends are going to jail.
00:29:43.000 We got Jeffrey Young, the proud boy who's still doing weekends and will be doing them until November.
00:29:50.000 Then we have John and Max facing nine years for a fist fight outside one of my talks.
00:29:58.000 We got Tommy Robinson in jail now.
00:30:02.000 And then we got Jaden.
00:30:03.000 What's her name?
00:30:04.000 God, what?
00:30:04.000 Jada Franson.
00:30:05.000 Do you ever have one of those names that just does not fit into your brain?
00:30:08.000 Yep.
00:30:10.000 This show isn't going very well, is it?
00:30:13.000 I thought it was pretty good.
00:30:14.000 Really?
00:30:14.000 Maybe I should have had notes ready.
00:30:16.000 Nah.
00:30:18.000 What about that idea about raiding the news?
00:30:21.000 Yeah, but you have to pull up the Twitter moments.
00:30:23.000 Let's see what the news is.
00:30:25.000 Yeah.
00:30:26.000 You know what I like about Twitter moments?
00:30:28.000 If you check Breitbart, you see all the sort of Trump, anti-Trump stuff that's going on.
00:30:32.000 If you check the New York Times, you see that narrative of what's going on with the left and their apocalyptic view of the world.
00:30:39.000 And they're both kind of myopic.
00:30:42.000 But when you check Twitter trends, then it might just be mostly sports.
00:30:49.000 And that's actually a better metric of the climate of the country.
00:30:53.000 Because if you go outside right now and start talking to people and say, how about Macron inviting that Iranian diplomat to the talks with Trump?
00:31:00.000 They'll go, what?
00:31:01.000 They're more concerned with college football.
00:31:04.000 So you actually get a better perspective.
00:31:05.000 And it's actually, I find it a little more heartening because I see Twitter moments and I go, oh, not everyone's obsessed with all this shit.
00:31:14.000 Some of them just are into silly crap.
00:31:16.000 Like astronaut declares.
00:31:18.000 This astronaut chick who is, what would you say she is? 1.00
00:31:23.000 She's got some features that look foreign, but like they make sense.
00:31:27.000 So I'd say she's like a 4.8. 0.59
00:31:29.000 Exactly.
00:31:30.000 Correct.
00:31:30.000 She's a lesbian, too.
00:31:32.000 You know how we did that heroes of color thing where we talked about all the backgrounds of all these great heroes of color?
00:31:36.000 Yes.
00:31:37.000 What about heroines?
00:31:40.000 That's the problem with female heroes is it sounds like the drug. 1.00
00:31:44.000 But feminist icons, and then you show all these great successful women, and coincidentally, they're all lesbians. 1.00
00:31:54.000 Or divas.
00:31:55.000 No.
00:31:55.000 Divas of.
00:31:56.000 Shut up. 0.95
00:31:57.000 Coincidentally, they're all lesbians. 1.00
00:31:58.000 Because women are obsessed with proving they're equal to men. 1.00
00:32:01.000 They're just as good.
00:32:02.000 They can be astronauts.
00:32:03.000 They can be soccer players.
00:32:04.000 But have you ever noticed that when they take over these things that are predominantly male, they're lesbians? 1.00
00:32:10.000 So what that means is the only time that we're as good as men is when we have tons of testosterone coursing through our veins and we're actually more male than most women. 0.84
00:32:22.000 I'm not talking about performers and singers and dancers and all that shit, fashion designers.
00:32:26.000 I'm talking about astronauts and athletes and that kind of predominantly male things.
00:32:30.000 So they're actually disproving what they're setting out to prove.
00:32:35.000 Yeah, this woman, this successful astronaut, is a lesbian. 1.00
00:32:38.000 That's something no one talks about either is gay divorce. 0.90
00:32:41.000 We let gays get married fairly recently, especially in America, and no one is talking about this massive wave of gay divorce.
00:32:51.000 And I've heard through the grapevine that the lesbian divorces are brutal, fighting over the rights to a song. 1.00
00:32:59.000 And in this case, this lesbian astronaut was allegedly trying to access her ex-wife's bank account while in outer space, making her the first Martian bank robber. 0.89
00:33:12.000 That's pretty cool.
00:33:13.000 The first 4.8 bank robber.
00:33:14.000 Imagine a movie around that mundane of a crime.
00:33:19.000 Yes.
00:33:19.000 It's just a false password.
00:33:21.000 She put a password in the wrong Chase account.
00:33:26.000 Let's put up the numbers for phone numbers, too.
00:33:28.000 We haven't talked to our people in a long time.
00:33:30.000 Oh, Trudette. 0.97
00:33:31.000 Well, the number is as follows.
00:33:33.000 Oh, you have to set up the Skype and all that?
00:33:35.000 That's something different.
00:33:38.000 You have to set up the Skype and all that.
00:33:40.000 I saw a great movie.
00:33:41.000 I'll talk about this movie first.
00:33:43.000 I'd already seen it, of course, Cabin in the Woods.
00:33:46.000 Can you maybe pull up that trailer while I talk, have it playing silently in the background?
00:33:49.000 Sure, sure.
00:33:52.000 And it's kind of a Twilight Zone Black Mirror parody of four movies.
00:33:58.000 I think it came out in 2012, as I just said.
00:34:02.000 And I'd already seen it.
00:34:03.000 But I'm learning.
00:34:04.000 When I first moved to America, I didn't get this whole watching a movie more than once thing.
00:34:09.000 Like they watch The Godfather every Thanksgiving, and it doesn't compute.
00:34:13.000 But now I'm learning, if you wait like six years, you get to see the movie through a whole new perspective, and it's actually really cool.
00:34:22.000 And I learned a lot this second time around.
00:34:24.000 And I learned that it's about, so it starts out like a normal horror movie, and they're going to the country, just like Friday the 13th.
00:34:31.000 And there's the stoner, the slut, the jock, the virgin, and the athlete, right? 0.99
00:34:38.000 As there is in pretty much all these type of horror movies.
00:34:41.000 And there's the Harbinger.
00:34:44.000 They all eventually get killed.
00:34:46.000 Now, spoiler alert, spoiler alert.
00:34:48.000 This is a spoiler alert.
00:34:50.000 We learn later that this whole thing is set up by the government, and the cabin's fake, the monsters are, the monsters are real, but we send the monsters in to kill you.
00:35:00.000 And the reason we do it is because there's these giant evil gods that live under the earth.
00:35:05.000 And they need these five sacrifices.
00:35:07.000 They need regular sacrifices.
00:35:09.000 They need little Japanese girls in Japan. 1.00
00:35:11.000 And all over the world, we set up these scary scenarios where people are killed.
00:35:15.000 And then we use their blood and we give it to the gods as a sacrifice.
00:35:21.000 And that stops the world from ending.
00:35:23.000 Now, this pothead in the movie, he realizes that this is all a lie and this is all fake and we're all being puppets.
00:35:31.000 Look, that hawk's about to get zapped. 0.82
00:35:32.000 Yep.
00:35:34.000 And so the writer of the movie must be a pothead.
00:35:38.000 This is maybe why I wrote that great thriller last night in my dreams because I was watching this with such an analytical mind.
00:35:44.000 See, they send out gases.
00:35:46.000 The problem with that girl is she's too intelligent and the gods want like a dumb whore. 1.00
00:35:50.000 So they give her these gases to make her hornier and stupider. 1.00
00:35:53.000 And the blonde she was wearing, that stuff sleeps in her head. 1.00
00:35:56.000 Anyway, so the pothead is immune to this brainwashing.
00:36:00.000 Oh, I remember that.
00:36:01.000 Yes.
00:36:02.000 And so the subtext is, the pothead, pot is awesome.
00:36:06.000 And there's a recurring theme where every time there's major trouble, he has this homemade bong and he pulls it out and saves the day and kills people.
00:36:14.000 So the bong is like this empowering sword like King Arthur.
00:36:18.000 This is him discovering everything.
00:36:20.000 So the moral up to now is that pot is awesome and the government doesn't want a smoking pot because we'll figure out what they want to do with our brains.
00:36:29.000 And that's like the cliche thing you think of when you're in college about pot.
00:36:32.000 And that's why they made it illegal because everyone protesting the Vietnam War was smoking pot.
00:36:38.000 And they said, we can't control these people if they don't have pot. 1.00
00:36:42.000 All right, got it.
00:36:43.000 But here's a super duper spoiler alert.
00:36:47.000 At the end of the movie, Sigourney Weaver explains to the Virgin in the pothead, the only ones left alive, guys, you were supposed to die.
00:36:53.000 You weren't supposed to get back here.
00:36:54.000 You weren't supposed to figure out this whole thing.
00:36:56.000 We need to kill you now.
00:36:58.000 And they go, no, and they kill her. 0.90
00:37:00.000 And so the end of the movie, which I'm now ruining for you, is that the dark gods beneath the earth aren't getting their sacrifices, so they're going to come up and destroy the earth. 0.95
00:37:09.000 And the last scene is a hand, like this is a house, a hand as big as Trump Tower coming down and killing him.
00:37:14.000 Well, maybe Trump Tower is evil.
00:37:16.000 Maybe Trump's the evil god.
00:37:17.000 So at the last minute, it's actually kind of a conservative film because it's saying these potheads with their anarchist no borders, no wall, no USA at all, from Palestine to Mexico, all these walls have got to go.
00:37:31.000 That mentality is going to destroy us, going to destroy our country.
00:37:39.000 How long have we been talking for?
00:37:41.000 About 40 minutes now.
00:37:44.000 So it's actually an anti lefty mentality.
00:37:48.000 It kind of exposes them as these nihilists who just want to watch the world burn.
00:37:54.000 And they say as much.
00:37:56.000 All right, now you got a bunch of calls?
00:37:57.000 I do.
00:37:58.000 I want to start a new way of doing call-in shows.
00:38:00.000 Okay.
00:38:01.000 Where it's like, you know, the song The Bumblebee?
00:38:03.000 Yeah.
00:38:05.000 So they call in, name and place, we get the thing, then you hang up.
00:38:08.000 I answer the question next.
00:38:09.000 Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
00:38:11.000 No more like, thanks for calling.
00:38:13.000 Oh, my second part of the question.
00:38:16.000 Uh-oh.
00:38:17.000 Well, that's going to bum out this one guy who says he has multiple topics.
00:38:20.000 No, multiple topics.
00:38:21.000 That's called me and a friend.
00:38:23.000 Sir, you got to pick one.
00:38:25.000 Just have him talk.
00:38:26.000 All right.
00:38:27.000 And we're going to Stevie Boy.
00:38:31.000 Stevie Boy from Boston.
00:38:32.000 What's up, fellas?
00:38:33.000 Hey, man.
00:38:35.000 All right.
00:38:37.000 I know you said I can't do multiple topics.
00:38:40.000 Wicked echo, by the way.
00:38:43.000 Wait, why'd you say after multiple topics?
00:38:45.000 Point an echo.
00:38:48.000 Yes.
00:38:50.000 Perfect.
00:38:51.000 Second question.
00:38:55.000 Go.
00:38:55.000 How was your vacation?
00:38:57.000 Okay, goodbye.
00:38:58.000 Thank you for calling.
00:39:00.000 My vacation was fine.
00:39:01.000 Thank you very much.
00:39:02.000 But as I was trying to imply earlier, I find my job a lot easier.
00:39:08.000 Right now, I have to entertain you guys, and clearly you signed up because we agree on the stuff we want to talk about.
00:39:14.000 So I just talk about shit.
00:39:15.000 Ease peas.
00:39:16.000 In fact, I can't believe almost an hour has gone by.
00:39:18.000 But a six-year-old wants Minecraft, 11-year-old wants baseball, 12-year-old wants weirdo chicks.
00:39:22.000 Like, where do we even fucking eat?
00:39:24.000 So my wife rented this insane, slippy slide, inflatable thing that's honestly bigger than your house. 1.00
00:39:31.000 She rented that for one day, and that swallowed up a good five hours.
00:39:34.000 We still got all of August.
00:39:37.000 I got Bruce talking about China.
00:39:39.000 I fucking hate the heat, too.
00:39:40.000 I want to do a wife swap. 1.00
00:39:42.000 A wife swap. 0.64
00:39:43.000 Hey, man, how's it going?
00:39:46.000 Good.
00:39:46.000 Nice to talk to you.
00:39:47.000 I just want to see what you think about this China situation.
00:39:51.000 So we go to shit.
00:39:52.000 The guy called an asshole.
00:39:55.000 And I kind of feel the same way.
00:39:59.000 About what?
00:39:59.000 China?
00:40:02.000 About China?
00:40:03.000 Yeah.
00:40:04.000 So you're saying that you want China to blow up?
00:40:09.000 Right.
00:40:10.000 I don't even get again.
00:40:11.000 This is just like my dog.
00:40:12.000 I don't give a shit either way.
00:40:14.000 Like, they've been around for 40,000 years.
00:40:17.000 They still think that a tiger's eyeball gives them a boner.
00:40:21.000 They've murdered bears because there's something in their gallbladder they think is fucking magic.
00:40:26.000 They can't get enough shark fins and all that bullshit.
00:40:29.000 Rub your toe to cures colon cancer.
00:40:32.000 What are you doing, guys?
00:40:33.000 Ever heard of trial and error?
00:40:34.000 40,000 years of this and you have the shitty communist civilization?
00:40:38.000 Yeah, it's good that Hong Kong is fighting them and maybe liberating some people there, but I got enough people here in the West to worry about before I go over to a billion lunatics over in China.
00:40:49.000 So whether they work it out or not, I honestly don't give a shit.
00:40:52.000 And I'm a little bit surprised myself.
00:40:54.000 It's almost like when you see a mudslide in Myanmar or somewhere in Indonesia and they go, oh my God, the whole village was wiped out and washed into the sea.
00:41:02.000 And you go, oh yeah?
00:41:04.000 Sorry, I guess a bunch of people are dead.
00:41:06.000 What's happening now?
00:41:07.000 I'm sorry.
00:41:08.000 I ran out of care juice.
00:41:12.000 We got Connor.
00:41:13.000 Hey, Connor, what's up?
00:41:15.000 Connor, you're on.
00:41:17.000 Yeah, Gavin, from Bridgeport, Connecticut.
00:41:20.000 I was just going to ask, I was thinking about taking the metrics north to New Haven.
00:41:27.000 How the fuck do you do that?
00:41:29.000 You have to get on opposite ways ahead.
00:41:33.000 How the hell do you go about doing something like that?
00:41:36.000 Well, it might be a person who is trying not to implicate himself for a federal crime.
00:41:41.000 Have you considered that?
00:41:42.000 And one may have changed the locations of the trains in order to obfuscate his direct route so he doesn't go to jail.
00:41:50.000 Next, we got Jose.
00:41:52.000 Yes, Jose.
00:41:53.000 Jose.
00:41:55.000 Hey, Ryan and Gavin.
00:41:59.000 Just wanted to say, love the show.
00:42:01.000 Love the mailbag.
00:42:02.000 And just asking Gavin, are you, would you ever do like a suit special?
00:42:07.000 Or I don't know.
00:42:08.000 I know you've done something on the Rebel before, but just curious.
00:42:13.000 A suit special?
00:42:14.000 Like suits you wear?
00:42:17.000 Like a fashion special?
00:42:17.000 Exactly, because you have an awesome fashion scent.
00:42:21.000 Okay, that's a good idea.
00:42:22.000 Let's do a little fashion show.
00:42:23.000 Heck yeah.
00:42:25.000 All right, we got John.
00:42:26.000 John, are you there?
00:42:28.000 Johnny?
00:42:30.000 Yeah, I'm here.
00:42:31.000 Where are you from, John?
00:42:32.000 Yeah, I was just wondering if you had heard what happened to our old friend from the Gavin McGuinness show.
00:42:37.000 Mercedes Ferreira got himself into a lot of trouble.
00:42:42.000 Some kitty porn stuff or something.
00:42:44.000 Yeah, she was frank.
00:42:46.000 Have you heard anything about that?
00:42:47.000 I haven't heard much new news about it since it happened, but she has this born-again Christian husband who got into her daughter's head and made her, polluted her into saying all this horrible shit.
00:42:59.000 And then the cops went to Mercedes' house.
00:43:02.000 They found drugs and guns, which was stupid, right?
00:43:05.000 Like meth, I believe.
00:43:07.000 But they also found camera equipment.
00:43:09.000 So when the husband said she's making kiddie porn, the police went, well, here's proof because there's a camera there.
00:43:14.000 But every porn star on earth has a camera in her bedroom. 1.00
00:43:18.000 So I think she's innocent.
00:43:20.000 I haven't spoken to her since I don't think anyone has.
00:43:23.000 But no matter what happens, she'll be bankrupted and her life is over.
00:43:29.000 All right.
00:43:30.000 We got Alex.
00:43:32.000 I mean, her relationship with her daughter is ruined no matter what, right?
00:43:35.000 It's terrible, yeah.
00:43:37.000 Hell A. But I don't think she's important.
00:43:39.000 Love you, dog and raw guy.
00:43:40.000 I just wanted to ask if you guys do any more boxing things at the gym.
00:43:44.000 I thought that was pretty cool when you beat Coppercap that. 0.95
00:43:46.000 Yeah, I was thinking about doing that.
00:43:48.000 I want to do a how-to box tutorial for people, but it's not how to box.
00:43:54.000 It's how to cheat.
00:43:56.000 Like when they make you do burpees, you can buy 15 seconds by going, oh, burpees like here, because I don't want to get in anyone's way.
00:44:04.000 And they're like, no, no, don't do them over there.
00:44:06.000 Or you ask questions about LATS, slows them down.
00:44:09.000 Or say you're exhausted in the middle of pads.
00:44:12.000 You say mid-round, because the rounds in sparring are two and a half fucking minutes.
00:44:16.000 That's insane.
00:44:17.000 So you go, I can't get the left hook.
00:44:20.000 Is it, do I swim my body?
00:44:22.000 And then they're excited, right?
00:44:23.000 Because they know so much about a left hook.
00:44:24.000 Well, that was an uppercut.
00:44:26.000 But they'll go, no, what you got to do is it might feel more comfortable to go like this, but your fist has to be parallel to the ground.
00:44:33.000 Now you've had five seconds to breathe.
00:44:35.000 Or the best is when they make you put on that weight vest and they say run around the block.
00:44:40.000 You run up to one end of the block, down to the other end of the block, right?
00:44:44.000 You time that.
00:44:45.000 It's usually about 15 seconds.
00:44:47.000 And then you go, all right, 15 times 4, 60 seconds.
00:44:52.000 It's probably going to take a minute, but those other parts of the block are longer.
00:44:55.000 So you can sit there, have a cigarette, whatever.
00:44:57.000 And you just make sure you sprint like a lunatic up the stairs.
00:45:01.000 Like, oh, oh, oh.
00:45:03.000 Now, I've timed it wrong a few times, and the coach is like, holy shit, you really.
00:45:08.000 And I was like, you're impressed?
00:45:09.000 Yeah, I've never seen anyone go around the block in a weight fest that fast.
00:45:13.000 And then he goes, wait a minute.
00:45:15.000 So there's a lot of good fighting tricks in order to prevent you from doing the workout that you've been instructed to do.
00:45:22.000 That's a good thing.
00:45:23.000 Sleight of man.
00:45:25.000 Sleight of man magic.
00:45:26.000 We got Jim talking about David Packman.
00:45:28.000 Find out where they are, too.
00:45:29.000 Does it say where they are?
00:45:30.000 No, guys, start mentioning where you're from, please.
00:45:32.000 Do you feel banging going on next door?
00:45:34.000 Yep.
00:45:35.000 Okay.
00:45:36.000 Something's banging.
00:45:37.000 Nothing to see here.
00:45:38.000 Sounds like Juggernaut is trying to get in.
00:45:39.000 Hey, how's it going?
00:45:40.000 Who are you and where are you from?
00:45:42.000 Who, who, who are you, and what you, and what do you do, guys?
00:45:45.000 David Packman.
00:45:46.000 I mean, Jim.
00:45:49.000 Okay.
00:45:51.000 I just wanted to say check out David Packman's show.
00:45:54.000 It's really nice.
00:45:55.000 Huh.
00:45:56.000 Okay, stranger.
00:45:57.000 That sounds really interesting.
00:45:59.000 I think I'll check him out.
00:46:01.000 We got Ben Miller having guests on the show.
00:46:06.000 Where are you from?
00:46:06.000 Hey, Ben.
00:46:10.000 And this is Sam from Freslo, California.
00:46:14.000 Cool.
00:46:15.000 Wondering if you guys have Sam Hyde again or Owen Benjamin.
00:46:19.000 They're good guests.
00:46:20.000 They are good guests.
00:46:21.000 I will have Owen on.
00:46:22.000 And yeah, Sam Hyde, he said he'd come on if I go to him.
00:46:27.000 And he said, I'll do it if you come to where I am and do my show.
00:46:31.000 I think it's about four hours, maybe five hours from New York.
00:46:34.000 That might be a fun drive.
00:46:35.000 Hell yeah, brother.
00:46:36.000 We could make it like a two-part episode.
00:46:39.000 What's his thing called again?
00:46:41.000 Gum Road.
00:46:41.000 Gum Road.
00:46:42.000 Is that like Wars?
00:46:44.000 He's at Hyde Wars, but it's on Gum Road.
00:46:46.000 Do you pay for that subscription?
00:46:47.000 Yeah.
00:46:48.000 How much is it?
00:46:49.000 Five bucks.
00:46:50.000 Five bucks a month?
00:46:51.000 Yeah.
00:46:51.000 Is it half as good as this show?
00:46:54.000 I'm a company man, so nothing is better than this show.
00:46:57.000 Does he post as regularly as we do?
00:46:59.000 No, no, no, no.
00:47:00.000 It's about, I think, every 15th, the 15th of every month, something like that.
00:47:05.000 But he'll post some other things.
00:47:07.000 But it's pretty heady stuff.
00:47:09.000 I'm not shitting on Sam, by the way.
00:47:10.000 I'm just saying that people say that $10 is too much.
00:47:13.000 You get new content every day.
00:47:16.000 And this is the shittiest it gets.
00:47:18.000 When I just dropped off my daughter, I said, I got to go do the show.
00:47:21.000 We're late.
00:47:22.000 I'm banging it out here.
00:47:23.000 I was napping.
00:47:25.000 Napping.
00:47:26.000 And jabbing.
00:47:26.000 Can you believe a grown man naps?
00:47:29.000 I think I have lines.
00:47:30.000 Oh, you know what's weird?
00:47:31.000 I just felt right now getting back into the rhythm.
00:47:34.000 You feel good right now?
00:47:34.000 This first 50 minutes, I was trying to, because it's sort of like when you haven't seen your wife in a week and you sort of go, hello, who are you?
00:47:41.000 Like when I got back to the studio, I felt a little uneasy.
00:47:44.000 And I just, just insulting you for napping there, just was like, see, now we're calibrated.
00:47:50.000 I do serve a purpose.
00:47:52.000 We got anarchy.
00:47:54.000 Yeah, Sam from Missouri.
00:47:55.000 What's up, Sam?
00:47:57.000 Hey, what's up?
00:47:59.000 Love you guys more.
00:48:00.000 Like you more than a friend?
00:48:01.000 Cool.
00:48:01.000 Hello.
00:48:02.000 Almost said love.
00:48:04.000 Yeah, I hate when people say that.
00:48:07.000 If you love me more than a friend, we're not friends.
00:48:09.000 It's supposed to be an announcement that I'm moving to love.
00:48:12.000 Yeah.
00:48:14.000 What's up?
00:48:15.000 Yeah, so I got a bunch of friends who have been talking about being anarchists and all this.
00:48:19.000 I was kind of wondering what you thought about it and if you think it's a left or right ideology.
00:48:26.000 Yeah, look, I'm thinking about getting an anarchy tattoo because I'm an anarchist.
00:48:30.000 I don't want any government.
00:48:32.000 I want minimal government.
00:48:33.000 Like, let's have an army, fine.
00:48:35.000 Roads?
00:48:35.000 I don't even think so.
00:48:37.000 The prison system, I got to admit, I'm a little uncomfortable about the privatization of that.
00:48:42.000 It sounds like you're providing an incentive to get as many criminals as possible.
00:48:45.000 Those are your customers at that point.
00:48:47.000 So I get all that part.
00:48:48.000 But I hate the fucking government.
00:48:51.000 And people go, Trump's not presidential.
00:48:53.000 I think the problem with all this Trump hatred is they don't get how little respect we have for the White House.
00:48:58.000 I don't see him as God Emperor.
00:49:01.000 I see him as Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack.
00:49:04.000 I like that he's a CAD.
00:49:06.000 I like that he's an asshole.
00:49:08.000 I like the typos in his tweets.
00:49:09.000 Fuck the White House. 0.98
00:49:11.000 Fuck the government.
00:49:12.000 Fuck all these people who think they're voting for a brighter future.
00:49:16.000 I'm voting for hope and change.
00:49:19.000 You fell for a campaign scam, you stupid bitch. 1.00
00:49:24.000 But the definition of anarchist today, of course, has nothing to do with hating the government and wanting independence and DIY, do it yourself.
00:49:32.000 It has to do now with more government.
00:49:36.000 They literally call themselves communist anarchists, anarcho-communist.
00:49:40.000 What the fuck?
00:49:41.000 So you want maximum government, but minimum government at the exact same time?
00:49:46.000 That's even stupider than being bisexual. 1.00
00:49:50.000 So I don't think your friends are intellectual enough to understand what anarchist really means.
00:49:53.000 What they really mean when they say anarchist is, I want to be a fucking pain in the ass.
00:49:59.000 I want to break windows and dress in black and pretend I'm trans because that's the hot new thing. 1.00
00:50:06.000 And if you're young, dumb, and full of cum, go nuts, make mistakes, whatever, who cares?
00:50:11.000 I'd like to announce that we're on both iPhone and Android.
00:50:14.000 Major detail.
00:50:16.000 Apps.
00:50:16.000 Free apps.
00:50:17.000 If you get the subscription, you could get the app and then you get push notifications for shows like this when we're live.
00:50:22.000 Can we download audio yet?
00:50:24.000 That's coming.
00:50:25.000 It's coming right around.
00:50:26.000 It's like right around the corner.
00:50:27.000 And also streaming to SimuCasting, your TVs or whatever.
00:50:31.000 What's called streaming?
00:50:32.000 Is that German streaming?
00:50:34.000 What did I say?
00:50:34.000 Streaming?
00:50:35.000 Streaming?
00:50:37.000 Yes.
00:50:38.000 And if you want to have a nap, if you're Schlaventy, then go to niche Zus until you're ready to get back to work. 0.94
00:50:44.000 But we'll be streaming the entire time you're sleeping.
00:50:48.000 Yes, and we're schlepping to get the apps out there.
00:50:52.000 But you didn't have an ending for that.
00:50:56.000 I knew you were so excited to have schlepping.
00:50:58.000 And then you're like, come on, brain.
00:51:00.000 Just come up with some on the fly.
00:51:02.000 And your brain was like, what do you mean, someone the fly?
00:51:05.000 Should have mentioned the apps?
00:51:08.000 Just say schlepping again next time.
00:51:09.000 Me.
00:51:10.000 But yeah, we got those.
00:51:11.000 And then if you can give me a little fly.
00:51:12.000 What do you think about what schlepping means?
00:51:14.000 Like, kind of like slowly getting to something?
00:51:16.000 Nope.
00:51:17.000 Like dragging ass to something?
00:51:18.000 It means having to carry a bunch of stuff.
00:51:20.000 Like, I got to schlep all these bags up a hill.
00:51:22.000 I get the gist.
00:51:22.000 Carrying.
00:51:24.000 Yeah.
00:51:24.000 Transporting.
00:51:25.000 So we're schlepping these.
00:51:26.000 It means transporting something when it's a pain in the ass to transport.
00:51:29.000 And that's true.
00:51:29.000 It's a lot of hard work.
00:51:30.000 So we are schlepping the...
00:51:33.000 Okay.
00:51:33.000 So yeah, we finally got on the iPhone app, finally got on Android, and downloading will be great too, because that's how I listen to shows also.
00:51:40.000 I like to download them.
00:51:41.000 And then it's funny because women complain about housework, but when you have a downloaded podcast or vidcast, you're like, I don't mind if I'm cleaning up Diarrhea Barf. 1.00
00:51:50.000 Yeah.
00:51:51.000 It could be here all day.
00:51:52.000 It's like sometimes it feels like those are your buddies.
00:51:55.000 So, hey, everybody, you're doing a great job.
00:51:57.000 Keep grinding.
00:51:59.000 One of the worst jobs you can have to do is clean up bear garbage. 1.00
00:52:03.000 A bear, especially if you have young kids, a bear rips into your garbage.
00:52:07.000 He eats all the diapers.
00:52:08.000 He loves shit because, everybody, animals are losers.
00:52:17.000 And this loser eats your baby's shit. 1.00
00:52:19.000 That's how, isn't that proof that animals are losers?
00:52:22.000 Your baby's shit, the worst it has, the worst you have to offer as a family is gold to him.
00:52:29.000 That's the best.
00:52:30.000 So baby shit, top for him, baby shit, bottom for us.
00:52:35.000 We're touching at least.
00:52:36.000 There is a Venn diagram.
00:52:37.000 Whoa.
00:52:38.000 But cleaning up that bare garbage, you have to sit there with like tongs and pick up each individual thing.
00:52:44.000 Because it's not just garbage.
00:52:45.000 Everything's been shredded.
00:52:46.000 So it takes like two hours.
00:52:48.000 And you can't just leave it there, of course.
00:52:49.000 But you put a little podcast on, put it on a little get off my lawn.
00:52:54.000 Maybe there's a metaphor when Owen says him and the bears, because conservatives and people that are outcasted have eaten so much shit that they're bears. 0.94
00:53:05.000 Dude, we eat as much shit as actual bears.
00:53:05.000 You know?
00:53:09.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:53:10.000 Bears aren't really known for eating shit, though.
00:53:12.000 The baby diaper thing is a delicacy.
00:53:13.000 They eat shit.
00:53:14.000 They eat a lot of shit.
00:53:14.000 Yeah, but how many times do they get access to diapers?
00:53:17.000 You're telling me for the first time.
00:53:17.000 Oh, I don't know.
00:53:18.000 Don't you live in the country?
00:53:19.000 Didn't you grow up upstate?
00:53:20.000 No, but I've never seen bears up there.
00:53:21.000 You don't see bears upstate?
00:53:23.000 And we don't have baby shit in our garbage. 0.99
00:53:25.000 So that's that.
00:53:27.000 What do you mean you can't hear me?
00:53:28.000 You got baby shit in your garbage? 1.00
00:53:30.000 I think I have a, well, I don't want to say STD.
00:53:33.000 Okay, well, say the nice term for it.
00:53:35.000 I have baby shit in my garbage.
00:53:37.000 You know what I mean?
00:53:38.000 That's how a woman says she has a yeast infection. 1.00
00:53:40.000 That's the politically correct way to say yeast infection.
00:53:43.000 She has, let's say, baby shit in her garbage, if you know what I mean. 1.00
00:53:48.000 That is so crass.
00:53:49.000 That's not a great substitute at all.
00:53:51.000 Hello.
00:53:52.000 I wouldn't say I have a yeast infection.
00:53:54.000 I think the term that I would prefer to use is that I have baby shit in my garbage. 0.98
00:53:58.000 All right, next caller.
00:53:59.000 All right, we got, there's another one about Mercedes.
00:54:03.000 Okay.
00:54:05.000 Hello?
00:54:05.000 Hello?
00:54:06.000 Kevin, the greatest of all time bit was when you fucked Mercedes Carrera via the green screen.
00:54:13.000 When is she coming on again?
00:54:15.000 Dude, she's not getting out of jail. 0.76
00:54:17.000 Her life is over.
00:54:18.000 Thank you for calling.
00:54:19.000 I'm very uncomfortable hearing her name.
00:54:22.000 Yeah, that is terrible.
00:54:23.000 Because it's my theory that she's been framed.
00:54:28.000 And I believe her letter, but this is my belief.
00:54:32.000 So, I mean, I know her.
00:54:33.000 I stand by her.
00:54:35.000 I don't see how that could possibly be true.
00:54:38.000 Let me put it that way.
00:54:40.000 All right, next call.
00:54:42.000 Steve weddings.
00:54:46.000 Hello?
00:54:47.000 Steve.
00:54:47.000 Hey, how's it going, Steve?
00:54:49.000 Hello?
00:54:49.000 Hey.
00:54:51.000 Hey, yeah, I was just wondering what your opinion on when you go to a wedding and the MC will be like, here's the bride of, the cousin of the bride, Brenda, and here's the fucking co-worker of the groom bike.
00:55:07.000 And everyone's like, who gives a shit?
00:55:08.000 Yeah, fucking.
00:55:09.000 Tell me what your opinion on that is.
00:55:10.000 There should be five speeches max.
00:55:13.000 And the speeches are the best man, the groom, maybe one of the fathers and mothers.
00:55:20.000 We're up to four now, my friend.
00:55:23.000 Now we can do, like, I don't know, say there was, he's a musician, like a pianist, and there's some mentor he had at the fame school, like that white-bearded guy, and that guy saved his life and got him his job at the fucking Philharmonic Orchestra.
00:55:38.000 Okay, you can come up.
00:55:39.000 But that's five.
00:55:41.000 Weddings are way too big.
00:55:43.000 Here's the rule for weddings from now on.
00:55:45.000 When you're making the list, would it be weird if I called you and said, hey man, I'm going to go buy pants.
00:55:50.000 Want to come?
00:55:51.000 If the guy goes, yeah, okay, where are you going?
00:55:54.000 The Levi's?
00:55:55.000 Yeah, I guess I'll go.
00:55:57.000 Invite him to the wedding.
00:55:58.000 If the person would go, what?
00:56:01.000 This is Jerry.
00:56:03.000 Yeah, no, I'm not pants.
00:56:06.000 Now, some people think that's too strict, and that makes your wedding like 35 people, which sounds fine to me.
00:56:14.000 I will go this far with it.
00:56:17.000 Would it be weird for me to call you, beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop?
00:56:21.000 Hey man, I'm going to go get a beer.
00:56:22.000 You want to grab a beer?
00:56:23.000 If that person would go, what?
00:56:25.000 Like, for example, my kid's coach in baseball.
00:56:29.000 I love the guy.
00:56:30.000 And if we sit next to each other at some sort of dinner function, it's a great time.
00:56:34.000 But it would be weird if I called him in for a beer.
00:56:37.000 I think he'd go, Duncan's dad?
00:56:41.000 Okay, I guess.
00:56:42.000 Yeah, sure.
00:56:43.000 When?
00:56:44.000 That would be weird.
00:56:46.000 So he's not coming to the wedding.
00:56:48.000 Your lists are too big, folks.
00:56:51.000 We got Kevin talking liberals.
00:56:53.000 What's up, Kevi?
00:56:56.000 What's up, Kevin?
00:56:58.000 Hey, man.
00:57:02.000 Shouldn't the street look good, mom?
00:57:04.000 You sound like you're talking aliens.
00:57:05.000 This sounds cool.
00:57:06.000 This sounds like we are communicating with Martians, which isn't cool because then I wouldn't be a Christian anymore if there was aliens.
00:57:16.000 What are you saying?
00:57:17.000 We can't hear you.
00:57:17.000 Is this the episode where Pretty Girls Shouldn't Be Walking Down the Street with Their Moms?
00:57:22.000 No!
00:57:23.000 That was last episode.
00:57:25.000 This episode is the spontaneous just got back from vacation episode.
00:57:30.000 This is where we catch up on summer hijinks.
00:57:32.000 Last episode was pretty girls shouldn't be walking around with their mothers. 1.00
00:57:38.000 Hang up, bastards.
00:57:42.000 Yeah.
00:57:43.000 Hey, Patrick.
00:57:46.000 Hey, Peter.
00:57:47.000 Do these calls just keep growing and growing?
00:57:49.000 No.
00:57:51.000 We got two more.
00:57:52.000 This is the second to last one.
00:57:53.000 Okay.
00:57:54.000 What's up, dog?
00:57:56.000 Yo.
00:57:56.000 Hey, man.
00:57:57.000 What's up, guys?
00:57:57.000 All right, you got a fuck one, Mary one, kill one.
00:57:59.000 AOC, Alan, or Rashida.
00:58:04.000 Challenging call.
00:58:05.000 Challenging call from a caller and uh FMK.
00:58:09.000 That's a lot of work to have to do after a holiday when we're soft and sunburned and ill-prepared to do a show.
00:58:17.000 So fuck Mary Kill. 1.00
00:58:18.000 And it's Ilhan, Rashid, and who was the other one?
00:58:22.000 Cortez.
00:58:24.000 I got mine.
00:58:25.000 Fuck Mary Kill. 1.00
00:58:26.000 Fuck Mary Kill. 1.00
00:58:28.000 Well, clearly the most Attractive one is AOC and probably the least putrid of a human being, and she's not old, so maybe you could de-brainwash her. 1.00
00:58:40.000 I'm gonna reluctantly marry AOC.
00:58:42.000 Yep, and then I've got Talib and uh, who?
00:58:48.000 Oh, the Somalian, yeah. 0.56
00:58:49.000 I can't, I can't fuck her. 1.00
00:58:52.000 I, I, yeah, I'm not.
00:58:53.000 This is very easy.
00:58:54.000 Yeah, I've seen her without her headdress on, and her head is just like Derek Beckles.
00:58:59.000 It's just like a frazzled afro. 0.98
00:59:02.000 So what is your name again?
00:59:04.000 Ilhan Omar.
00:59:05.000 Yes.
00:59:06.000 So that's Mary AOC, kill, what's her name? 0.79
00:59:10.000 Which will be Ilhan Omar, which of course will be taken out of context, and I'll be calling for death threats, and we'll lose our app status.
00:59:16.000 This is FMK.
00:59:17.000 And then Rashid Dalit Tlib, whatever her name is. 0.61
00:59:21.000 I would, I guess I'd fuck her. 1.00
00:59:23.000 Yeah.
00:59:25.000 You're the same?
00:59:26.000 It wouldn't be a bummer.
00:59:27.000 I kind of like Middle Eastern women. 1.00
00:59:29.000 Same?
00:59:30.000 Let's see them.
00:59:31.000 Can you pull them up?
00:59:32.000 Yep.
00:59:32.000 No one ever talks about the black chick in the squad.
00:59:34.000 Oh, look, there she is with her gross hair. 1.00
00:59:36.000 Wait, where was the gross hair?
00:59:37.000 The mug shot right in front of your fucking face.
00:59:40.000 Oh, there we go.
00:59:40.000 Okay.
00:59:41.000 That was tiny.
00:59:42.000 Look how unattractive she is. 1.00
00:59:43.000 First of all, she has not even an eight head.
00:59:45.000 It's a 16 head.
00:59:47.000 She has a 16 head, and her hair is just like an afterthought. 0.92
00:59:50.000 Yeah, but there's something about her that's kind of like...
00:59:57.000 Dude, you remember the one where she was like running away?
00:59:59.000 Like, she was like, you're all crazy.
01:00:00.000 And she was being a squirrel. 0.99
01:00:02.000 Yeah, she's got passion. 1.00
01:00:03.000 That kind of jiggle is kind of fun.
01:00:04.000 I know when women have complete meltdowns in public, it's kind of a turn on because you go, even now, at your least attractive, you're still feminine somehow. 1.00
01:00:13.000 You're still frail.
01:00:14.000 You're still delicate.
01:00:15.000 You're still elegant.
01:00:17.000 As you flail around the airport and attack the guy behind the desk, you're still somehow elegant.
01:00:22.000 You're like a deer.
01:00:24.000 And I feel like that woman would be good. 0.99
01:00:26.000 She's very 69-friendly.
01:00:28.000 Who?
01:00:29.000 The Palestinian Rashid Tlaib.
01:00:32.000 Really?
01:00:32.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:00:33.000 I think that bum in your face would be a bummer. 1.00
01:00:36.000 Well, that's because you're a young man.
01:00:38.000 Maybe.
01:00:39.000 I feel like it'll be stinky.
01:00:40.000 You'll catch up.
01:00:41.000 I'm almost 50.
01:00:42.000 You'll get here.
01:00:43.000 It'll be stinky down there.
01:00:45.000 But look at.
01:00:45.000 See, look, look.
01:00:46.000 I like that.
01:00:47.000 She's trying to be a reckless brute barbarian, and she still has that spring in her step and skinny ankles. 1.00
01:00:54.000 Yeah, that's kind of fun.
01:00:55.000 Great.
01:00:55.000 Now I'm married to Alexandria Kizio-Cortez.
01:00:58.000 That would be the easiest, dude.
01:01:01.000 It's pretty much a no-brainer, that question.
01:01:03.000 I'm literally bummed out.
01:01:06.000 Nah, you're fine.
01:01:08.000 She would get a tattoo of fireball on her neck.
01:01:10.000 You think my wife would get, I thought she's just like fun, just like wacky. 1.00
01:01:18.000 She's like, I don't know.
01:01:19.000 I got it just to be fun.
01:01:20.000 I could see that.
01:01:20.000 Isn't that fun?
01:01:22.000 Yes, it is.
01:01:23.000 She's at the parent-teacher meetings with little Johnny, six years old.
01:01:26.000 And she's letting them know.
01:01:27.000 And they're playing with blocks, and then there's my wife. 1.00
01:01:30.000 The fireball.
01:01:31.000 Yeah.
01:01:32.000 Fireball on her neck. 0.95
01:01:33.000 That looks like a prison nickname.
01:01:35.000 We got Ryan the Free Speech Child.
01:01:37.000 Also, by the way, if that was your prison nickname, people are going to think you have diarrhea in your garbage.
01:01:41.000 That's good.
01:01:43.000 Go ahead.
01:01:44.000 Okay.
01:01:45.000 Talking about Ryan the Free Speech child.
01:01:48.000 I totally agree with Roshida thing.
01:01:50.000 She's totally ugly. 1.00
01:01:52.000 Anyways.
01:01:53.000 Was it really.
01:01:54.000 How's Michael Savage?
01:01:55.000 Have you guys heard anything from him?
01:01:57.000 Oh, we keep forgetting.
01:01:58.000 After you suggest that, we go, great idea, and then we just sort of peace out right after.
01:02:03.000 Wait, who?
01:02:03.000 Michael Savage?
01:02:05.000 He used to be a liberal, and he's not any mo. 0.95
01:02:09.000 He don't dance, no mo. 1.00
01:02:12.000 And I think that a lot of lefties think that's like a gotcha, but I think that's perfectly healthy to change your views.
01:02:18.000 Who knows?
01:02:19.000 After being married to AOC for a while, I might become a democratic socialist that wants less government and more government at the exact same time.
01:02:26.000 Guys, that was quite a long up.
01:02:28.000 I thought that would just be a shorty.
01:02:29.000 Tomorrow will be a normal up.
01:02:31.000 I'll get the suit back on.
01:02:32.000 We'll probably get some guests.
01:02:33.000 We should probably talk to Laura Loomer about her lawsuit.
01:02:38.000 And her run for Congress. 0.86
01:02:39.000 And I want to do some new, more free speech presents.
01:02:41.000 I want to do a definitive list on all the people Antifa have killed.
01:02:46.000 We've talked about it on the show already, but we'll make that a separate video we could put on YouTube eventually.
01:02:50.000 And then I also want to do an in-depth look at this Antifa fight where three people got away with beating the shit out of a journalist and stealing his stuff when Max and John are looking at nine years in prison.
01:03:02.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.