Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E62 - POLITICS AS FASHION

00:00:37.000 That was Alice Cooper.

00:00:38.000 I feel bad cutting out the song so early.

00:00:41.000 No more, Mr. Nice Guy.

00:00:44.000 Whoa, that was good.

00:00:46.000 Did you hear that?

00:00:47.000 That was very good.

00:00:48.000 Just happened to me.

00:00:49.000 I thought I pressed play accidentally.

00:00:51.000 No more, Mr. Nice Guy.

00:00:54.000 That was it as good.

00:00:55.000 Yeah.

00:00:56.000 I'm losing it already.

00:01:07.000 And I'm feeling real shot down now.

00:01:11.000 I'm feeling that.

00:01:12.000 That sounds sucks.

00:01:13.000 What?

00:01:16.000 I don't know.

00:01:17.000 Well, you don't get to hear it anymore then.

00:01:18.000 You want to know a secret about Alice Cooper?

00:01:19.000 Yeah.

00:01:21.000 You know how these bands all have hired guns?

00:01:24.000 The hired guns on Alice Cooper's band are always the top guys.

00:01:28.000 So the basist he gets is always the top studio musician bassist in the world.

00:01:33.000 And once you've been on Alice Cooper's band, then you get gigs forever.

00:01:37.000 You're known as a guy.

00:01:40.000 Kind of like Ozzy Osbourne, right?

00:01:42.000 Exactly.

00:01:42.000 Yeah.

00:01:43.000 I think they compete.

00:01:44.000 Ah.

00:01:45.000 Yeah.

00:01:45.000 They don't get that much money, those guys.

00:01:47.000 They get like a per show per diem.

00:01:49.000 They're not in the band.

00:01:49.000 That's terrible.

00:01:51.000 So that was sent in by a viewer who pointed out that the lyrics kind of sum up the G-Dog.

00:01:58.000 We just saw them right there.

00:01:59.000 I got no friends because they read the papers.

00:02:01.000 They can't be seen with me, and I'm getting real shot down, and I'm feeling mean.

00:02:07.000 Speaking of which, I was at my kids' baseball game this weekend, and I was talking to a Jewish woman from Israel and feeling very comfortable.

00:02:17.000 We talked about Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, totally comfortable around, especially Orthodox Jews.

00:02:22.000 And then I saw a guy show up, and he had pumas on, kind of tight hipster jeans, and a shirt that had a black Rasta on it.

00:02:32.000 I couldn't tell if it was like HR from Bad Brains or like Prince Fari or something.

00:02:40.000 Some Rasta dude, right?

00:02:41.000 On his shirt.

00:02:42.000 And I got scared.

00:02:45.000 You felt dread.

00:02:46.000 I felt dread.

00:02:49.000 The dreads gave me dread.

00:02:50.000 Yes.

00:02:51.000 Do you know why?

00:02:52.000 Why?

00:02:53.000 I'll tell you why.

00:02:58.000 Politics is fashion now.

00:03:00.000 So if someone's into fashion, they might be an enemy of mine.

00:03:03.000 If someone's intelligent, then they're curious, then they've looked me up and they know where I'm coming from.

00:03:10.000 Like the intelligent Jewish woman I was talking to.

00:03:13.000 I know she knows the truth and doesn't fall for fucking fake news.

00:03:17.000 But someone who's got a cool hipster shirt on is going to think I'm a Nazi and could cause a scene and might affect my children's social life.

00:03:25.000 And I kind of had an epiphany because I realized politics is just fashion now.

00:03:32.000 It's just a trend.

00:03:33.000 So when I see fashionable people, I go, uh-oh, we got a problem.

00:03:38.000 Fashionable people are my enemy because the fashion right now is Nazis are everywhere.

00:03:43.000 I'm a Nazi.

00:03:44.000 Watch out for white nationalism.

00:03:46.000 And we're going to go in depth on that on today's show.

00:03:50.000 We're going to go to the green screen room and just break down the myth that white supremacy is on the rise.

00:03:56.000 And it's especially relevant because Candace Owens was just lampooned and lambasted and pilloried for saying white nationalism isn't a thing.

00:04:05.000 I'm having trouble speaking today.

00:04:07.000 What happened?

00:04:08.000 I don't know.

00:04:08.000 I couldn't even say bad brains.

00:04:10.000 You got to just do some mouth exercise.

00:04:12.000 You know, you stretch out your cheeks.

00:04:14.000 My buddy Sebastian taught me that.

00:04:15.000 He said, if you're going home and you're drunk, you don't want your wife to know, stretch out your cheeks.

00:04:19.000 Manescalco?

00:04:21.000 No.

00:04:22.000 If you've been drinking a little bit, you've got to stretch out your cheeks.

00:04:27.000 That's the worst impression.

00:04:28.000 That was a terrible Sebastian Maniscalco.

00:04:30.000 But you have a new impression.

00:04:32.000 Oh, do I?

00:04:33.000 Wait, what is it?

00:04:34.000 We should debut it right now.

00:04:35.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Ketsu Rivera has a new guy he does, and it's called 80s Trump.

00:04:43.000 He recently realized that this guy, frankly, is not how he talked at all.

00:04:49.000 In the 80s, he used to talk totally differently.

00:04:51.000 I worked on it all weekend, and I just can't do it.

00:04:54.000 Some people got it, some people don't.

00:04:54.000 I'm not sure.

00:04:57.000 You ever see this clip?

00:04:59.000 Better yet.

00:05:00.000 1980s.

00:05:00.000 Here's a 1980s Trump clip that I think.

00:05:03.000 And he leans down, too.

00:05:05.000 I'm thinking about running for president.

00:05:05.000 Yeah, as well.

00:05:06.000 I might run for president.

00:05:07.000 I don't know if I'm going to do it.

00:05:08.000 He does kind of, you know, put his head down, frankly.

00:05:11.000 It's like he's getting it over with.

00:05:18.000 If you had to choose one, if it was a life and death.

00:05:21.000 I can't hear anything.

00:05:22.000 Which one would you choose?

00:05:24.000 I would probably choose love.

00:05:27.000 You would?

00:05:27.000 I think so, yes.

00:05:29.000 Despite the fact that you spend all your time working, achieving, creating.

00:05:34.000 The happiest people tend to be the people that are making a nice income, that really enjoy their life and their family life, and not the people of tremendous wealth that are constantly driven to achieve more and more success.

00:05:47.000 You're expected to be a certain kind of a person.

00:05:50.000 What he does is he kind of like talks about where he does stand, and then the...

00:05:55.000 Here's where I don't stand, and here's the reason why I don't stand there.

00:05:58.000 And frankly, standing there is...

00:06:01.000 Well, let's see you.

00:06:02.000 Could you ask me a question about anything?

00:06:04.000 Yeah.

00:06:05.000 No, no, show the video you made.

00:06:07.000 Oh, you want to show that?

00:06:08.000 Alrighty.

00:06:10.000 It's private, so I got to find it.

00:06:13.000 What do you mean, you got to find it?

00:06:15.000 It's like a private.

00:06:18.000 He's barely listening to himself when he talks.

00:06:20.000 I don't know.

00:06:20.000 You don't think so?

00:06:21.000 He's like the sound of it.

00:06:22.000 I think love is very important.

00:06:24.000 And, you know, there's many times that I haven't loved, and I regret those times very much.

00:06:28.000 And now I'm focusing more on being a loving person.

00:06:31.000 I think love is a very exciting thing.

00:06:32.000 Frankly.

00:06:34.000 Still does Frankly.

00:06:34.000 Frankly's never left him.

00:06:36.000 No, frankly, it's never left.

00:06:37.000 I mean, there's a lot of things that have left, but one of the things that hasn't left is Frankly.

00:06:40.000 He kind of sounds like Johnny Depp doing Hunter Thompson.

00:06:43.000 Yeah.

00:06:48.000 What do you think of this year's presidential race?

00:06:50.000 Frankly, I think one of the issues right now is that our current mayor, president, and governor, they're all quite losers, and they've made boatload of decisions that are just terrible, really, frankly.

00:07:00.000 Terrible decisions.

00:07:02.000 And, you know, if I were to go in there, I would know how to clean it up and make things the right way.

00:07:06.000 But they're just a bunch of losers.

00:07:07.000 And actually, frankly, I think they're borderline homosexuals, which there's nothing wrong with that, but they do hide it behind closed doors. 1.00

00:07:14.000 They're doing a lot of butt stuff.

00:07:15.000 You know, we all like butt stuff, but they like it a little too much.

00:07:19.000 They ask for it.

00:07:20.000 I believe you're not supposed to ask for it.

00:07:22.000 You're supposed to let the women do that. 1.00

00:07:24.000 Just kind of hope for it.

00:07:25.000 But they ask for it.

00:07:26.000 You know, they're real creeps.

00:07:28.000 This sounds like political presidential talk to me.

00:07:31.000 And I know people have talked to you about whether or not you want to run.

00:07:34.000 Would you start?

00:07:35.000 Well, I'm not sure about that, Oprah, but I will tell you one thing.

00:07:38.000 I've sat on the sidelines.

00:07:40.000 I've seen a lot of unfairness, a lot of losers out there making advancements and getting far in their business.

00:07:46.000 So it pretty much goes on from there.

00:07:47.000 No, no, no.

00:07:48.000 Let's see it.

00:07:48.000 How long is it building?

00:07:50.000 I was going to play it on the mailbag show when they finally do that.

00:07:53.000 Oh, too late, Bill.

00:07:54.000 We've already done it.

00:07:55.000 You can't never show this again, so you might as well enjoy it.

00:07:57.000 Oh, frick.

00:07:59.000 I think one of the main problems that everybody's facing right now in this country, and I've seen it firsthand personally, frankly, deeply, is the epidemic of smelling like the way a carnival looks like.

00:08:09.000 When you put on this axe body spray, you really do smell like a sweet treat, and it's disgusting.

00:08:13.000 It's not manly at all.

00:08:15.000 And they combine things like conditioner and shampoo and body wash into one body.

00:08:18.000 That's not funny anymore.

00:08:19.000 That's really real.

00:08:20.000 But that was good.

00:08:21.000 Next.

00:08:22.000 You have a new guy.

00:08:23.000 There's a lot of things that are good, frankly, but one of the things that aren't good is the thing that I did not do.

00:08:27.000 But of course, frankly, there are things that I do do.

00:08:29.000 Doo-doo. 1.00

00:08:30.000 You said doo-do.

00:08:31.000 Is it distracting to have my keyboard on the desk?

00:08:33.000 I don't think so.

00:08:34.000 Okay.

00:08:36.000 I have a new guy I like.

00:08:38.000 Who?

00:08:39.000 Mark Ruffalo is so stupid, and I don't bandy that word around.

00:08:44.000 I actually don't like people saying stupid all the time because some of my best friends are stupid and some of my least favorite people are incredibly intelligent.

00:08:52.000 They're called nerds and they're no fun.

00:08:55.000 But Mark Ruffalo has drifted into Down syndrome territory.

00:08:59.000 And I love him now.

00:09:02.000 I used to hate him, but look at him.

00:09:06.000 He's Lawrence.

00:09:07.000 You know Lawrence from the SC TV show Half Wits, where Martin Short, he blackened out his teeth, the bottom half of his teeth, and he looks like he's part Lawrence and part Dr. Bruhl.

00:09:20.000 Yeah, this is Lawrence.

00:09:22.000 One of my favorite characters.

00:09:23.000 Arthur, I don't really care at this point.

00:09:24.000 Lawrence Orbach.

00:09:25.000 Arthur, I don't care what you do.

00:09:27.000 Thank you.

00:09:28.000 Lawrence, you were telling us you're still in school.

00:09:31.000 Right-oh, Alex.

00:09:32.000 Post-graduate.

00:09:33.000 Right-oh, Alex.

00:09:34.000 No, high school.

00:09:35.000 I'm having some degree of difficulty getting through high school.

00:09:39.000 I see.

00:09:40.000 Well, good to have you do it.

00:09:41.000 I'm sure you will, Lawrence.

00:09:43.000 Because I have certain goals in life I feel compelled to do.

00:09:46.000 Okay, so that's enough, Lawrence.

00:09:47.000 Now check out Mark Ruffalo.

00:09:49.000 He's the same guy.

00:09:52.000 No way.

00:09:53.000 He's so simple.

00:09:55.000 Like, I want to have him around.

00:09:57.000 He's like a toy.

00:09:58.000 Everybody, Mark Ruffalo here with the Solutions Project talking about the climate strikes Friday the 20th.

00:10:07.000 It is.

00:10:08.000 And want to make sure you know about it and want to make sure you turn out.

00:10:13.000 We're going to back up our young people in their cry for a climate future and a livable future.

00:10:22.000 There's going to be 500 strikes throughout the nation, thousands throughout the world.

00:10:27.000 It'll be historical.

00:10:28.000 He's going to be great.

00:10:30.000 He's simultaneously making an argument for AIDS awareness.

00:10:33.000 Did you just say simutaneously?

00:10:37.000 Simultaneously.

00:10:38.000 Simutaneously?

00:10:40.000 Is that like cutaneous?

00:10:42.000 What is simutaneously?

00:10:44.000 It's incorrect.

00:10:46.000 Show Dr. Bruhl, because he's also Dr. Bruhl.

00:10:48.000 Dr. Bruhl's rules.

00:10:50.000 Dr. Bruhl and Lawrence had a baby and that baby is...

00:11:00.000 Hello.

00:11:01.000 What do you do in this office?

00:11:03.000 Well, we're fertile practice. 0.84

00:11:05.000 We went over to Moby's house where he lives with my mother, name of Doris Pringle Salahari Brule now.

00:11:18.000 That really is pretty funny, huh?

00:11:21.000 Weird.

00:11:24.000 We have a lot to catch up on.

00:11:25.000 We're going to do the Antifa thing.

00:11:26.000 We have Michelle Malkin on the show. 0.56

00:11:27.000 We're going to talk to her about this new DHS Department of Homeland Security decision that they're going to focus, really focus on white supremacy.

00:11:37.000 Which, by the way, means that my friends are going to jail for nine years because the jury is going to read this bullshit and go, uh-oh, I better take care of this.

00:11:47.000 I better fight the good fight.

00:11:49.000 Prevent another night of the long knives.

00:11:56.000 What a mess.

00:11:58.000 But we'll cover some news first.

00:12:00.000 We have a lot to cover here.

00:12:03.000 We have a Louisiana guy.

00:12:05.000 I'm mean, as we discovered in the opening song.

00:12:08.000 And when I saw this, I'm sorry.

00:12:11.000 But I just thought, what a fucking absolute loser.

00:12:14.000 A man drowned while proposing to his girlfriend in Shithole, Africa, Tanzania.

00:12:20.000 Oh, wait a minute.

00:12:21.000 Yeah, that's in East Africa.

00:12:24.000 What were you doing?

00:12:25.000 God, she's got some legs on her. 1.00

00:12:27.000 A Louisiana man has died after asking his girlfriend to marry her.

00:12:30.000 There was Gams.

00:12:32.000 His fiancé is now sharing his proposal.

00:12:34.000 Ladies.

00:12:35.000 If you are single, wear high-heel shoes three times a week and you will have a man. 0.88

00:12:42.000 I can't even see her face.

00:12:42.000 No man.

00:12:44.000 No man sees those stilettos and those legs and doesn't want to put a ring on it. 1.00

00:12:48.000 Yeah.

00:12:49.000 Wow.

00:12:51.000 That guy likes your legs so much, he put pants on. 0.96

00:12:53.000 He's like, I'm hiding mine.

00:12:55.000 That joke sucked.

00:13:00.000 His fiancé is now sharing video of the proposal.

00:13:03.000 She's like, it went horribly wrong.

00:13:06.000 This morning, the chance for a lifelong memory turning tragic.

00:13:12.000 Stephen Weber and his drowning race and Antoine were on vacation off the coast of East Africa, staying at this resort that features an underwater room.

00:13:20.000 Hey, Huey.

00:13:21.000 Omar.

00:13:22.000 Yeah, the only problem is it's 40 feet down.

00:13:25.000 That's not even that low.

00:13:27.000 Here by Antoine, who was in the future.

00:13:28.000 That's low.

00:13:29.000 Dude, that's fucking low.

00:13:30.000 A pool is often just 15 feet, 10 feet.

00:13:35.000 He went down three pool links and then wrote a long, long letter.

00:13:40.000 So she'd have to read it.

00:13:41.000 And it said, I can't hold my breath long enough.

00:13:43.000 Clearly.

00:13:45.000 Yeah.

00:13:48.000 I would have taped it to a shark and made him pass by.

00:13:50.000 He's got a bicycle tattoo on his wrist.

00:13:52.000 I think he might be like an Antifa type of guy.

00:13:55.000 Maybe.

00:13:56.000 What's it say on the back?

00:13:58.000 Anyway, just, will you marry me?

00:14:01.000 And you know what?

00:14:01.000 Yeah.

00:14:02.000 Put it on a little sign and then lower it down.

00:14:06.000 Put a weight on it and then lower it down.

00:14:09.000 Hang it there.

00:14:10.000 Go get a beer.

00:14:11.000 Oh, did you see the sign yet?

00:14:12.000 What?

00:14:13.000 What sign?

00:14:14.000 Oh, go to the room, you'll see.

00:14:15.000 I'll be here at the bar to hear your decision.

00:14:19.000 Everything I love about you.

00:14:21.000 Will you please be my wife?

00:14:23.000 That's when something went wrong.

00:14:24.000 Weber swims away and he never resurfaces.

00:14:27.000 Presumably drowning.

00:14:29.000 Antoine writing in an emotional Facebook.

00:14:31.000 Wait, what do you mean presumably drowning?

00:14:34.000 Did he fucking drink?

00:14:35.000 Wow, that's a brave assumption.

00:14:37.000 Yeah, if you go into water and you don't come out, you have drowned.

00:14:41.000 Right.

00:14:43.000 Allegedly.

00:14:44.000 I remember in Costa Rica, we used to have a house in Costa Rica and there was this guy on the beach who's such a douche.

00:14:49.000 And we said, we heard someone drowned last night.

00:14:51.000 Yeah, but they're okay.

00:14:53.000 And I go, what?

00:14:54.000 If you drown, you're dead.

00:14:56.000 It's to die by drowning.

00:14:59.000 It's a way to die.

00:15:00.000 And he goes, he got super mad.

00:15:02.000 He goes, you don't have to die if you drown.

00:15:06.000 And me and my buddy were going, yeah, no, I'm pretty sure you do.

00:15:10.000 That's death by drowning.

00:15:12.000 It was a non-lethal hanging.

00:15:14.000 We presume he drowned.

00:15:15.000 It could have done anything.

00:15:16.000 Maybe he was shot.

00:15:18.000 And he didn't drown at all.

00:15:21.000 You never emerged.

00:15:23.000 So you never got to hear my answer.

00:15:25.000 Yes, yes, a million times.

00:15:27.000 Yes, I will marry you.

00:15:29.000 Super bright, intelligent, bad swimmer.

00:15:32.000 Loving.

00:15:34.000 Wise.

00:15:35.000 Friends and family.

00:15:38.000 Wise?

00:15:40.000 I wouldn't go with wise.

00:15:41.000 That's sad, though.

00:15:43.000 If I was a good person, look, ain't no nice guy.

00:15:43.000 I know.

00:15:47.000 Motorhead song.

00:15:48.000 I'm not a good person.

00:15:50.000 And I saw that and I felt nothing.

00:15:52.000 I just thought, you fucking loser.

00:15:54.000 What have you done now?

00:15:56.000 You dummy.

00:15:57.000 40 feet dive?

00:15:59.000 What are you, a pro?

00:16:01.000 What are you, Mark Ruffalo?

00:16:03.000 Yes, we're all going to go down and dive together.

00:16:06.000 We're just going to help the kids in their cry.

00:16:09.000 No, he has a smile on his face the whole time, like Lawrence.

00:16:13.000 We're going to help the kids.

00:16:15.000 Here, you do that imitation.

00:16:16.000 You should work on that.

00:16:17.000 Let me hear him.

00:16:18.000 It'll be historical.

00:16:20.000 Just pause.

00:16:21.000 He looks like such a buffoon that his glasses and his mouth look like an Instagram filter.

00:16:26.000 Yeah, a little bit of a moron.

00:16:29.000 That's just all around terrible.

00:16:31.000 Look at him.

00:16:32.000 Hey, I'm Mark Rouvo.

00:16:35.000 Just stuff of nightmares.

00:16:36.000 The kids cry for change.

00:16:39.000 100% renewable energy.

00:16:42.000 Great plan.

00:16:43.000 The respect of indigenous rights and treaties, biodiversity, environmental justice, sustainable agriculture.

00:16:51.000 Indigenous treaties?

00:16:53.000 What has that got to do with anything?

00:16:55.000 I don't know.

00:16:56.000 That's a hell of intersectionality you got there.

00:16:58.000 And I think we're pretty good on Indigenous treaties.

00:17:01.000 My kids and my wife get a check every month from some fucking 300-year-old land deal. 1.00

00:17:06.000 I think he means like candy and prizes.

00:17:09.000 Oh, treats.

00:17:10.000 Oh, treaties.

00:17:10.000 Little treaties.

00:17:11.000 And French fries and burgers.

00:17:14.000 His wife probably said, Mark, if you make a video, I'll give you treaties.

00:17:17.000 And he went, okay.

00:17:19.000 The commitment to treaties.

00:17:21.000 After all videos that are made, children are crying.

00:17:25.000 They're screaming.

00:17:26.000 I'm doing this for the content of a pinata.

00:17:28.000 I have my own shoes, and I wear them whenever I want.

00:17:32.000 I'm strong.

00:17:34.000 I play the Hulk in a movie, but I'm not really the Hulk.

00:17:37.000 Let me hear him.

00:17:39.000 Better place for the next 10 generations. 0.71

00:17:42.000 In earnest in dealing with this catastrophe.

00:17:46.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:17:47.000 Hey, that reminds me.

00:17:48.000 Skip way ahead.

00:17:49.000 Way, way ahead to Child Miners Aged 4.

00:17:56.000 Wow, you're a minor and a minor in every sense of the word.

00:18:00.000 It's like the fourth last link.

00:18:02.000 It's in mailbag, but we're jumping ahead here.

00:18:06.000 Child miners aged 4 living hell. 0.99

00:18:08.000 So your electric car requires what?

00:18:14.000 Cobalt?

00:18:15.000 I think.

00:18:16.000 The batteries require cobalt.

00:18:18.000 And you get that from the Congo.

00:18:20.000 And the Congo uses tiny bare hands. 0.81

00:18:24.000 What does it say there?

00:18:25.000 Throw a mountain of huge rocks with his tiny bare hands.

00:18:28.000 The exhausted little boy.

00:18:31.000 Look at this.

00:18:32.000 This is your electric car, Mark Caruffalo.

00:18:34.000 This is your renewable energy.

00:18:38.000 See, this goes back to what I was saying about fashion.

00:18:41.000 That fashionable guy, like, they don't really care.

00:18:44.000 They're not into the truth.

00:18:46.000 This whole white supremacy thing has nothing to do with the truth.

00:18:49.000 If you could give them just a little toot of heroin and get them to speak the truth, they go, what?

00:18:54.000 I know they're not Nazis, man.

00:18:57.000 It's the thing to do now.

00:18:59.000 Talk about climate change and call everyone a Nazi.

00:19:04.000 That's what everyone's doing now.

00:19:06.000 So that's what I'm doing.

00:19:08.000 But I don't believe, I don't give a fuck about little kids in the Congo. 0.99

00:19:12.000 I just, everyone has electric cars, so I got an electric car.

00:19:16.000 Anyway, do you got any more of this shit?

00:19:18.000 That's really good stuff.

00:19:20.000 I'm so itchy.

00:19:23.000 That's a really good Brule.

00:19:24.000 Which in turn means a really good Ruffalo and a really good...

00:19:28.000 Lawrence.

00:19:29.000 Lawrence.

00:19:30.000 Okay, so that guy could afford to be a little scareder of water.

00:19:34.000 By the way, a buddy of mine, at my behest, I think I've told you this before, and don't say his name if you know what I'm talking about.

00:19:41.000 He took my advice for his proposal and he said, Let's go to Ireland and then look at your grandparents' grave and go, Isn't it funny how those two met each other, then they made your parents and your parents made you and here we are?

00:19:55.000 You know, you make this decision and then you become paired up with someone and it changes society forever.

00:20:02.000 It changes lives.

00:20:04.000 People make babies.

00:20:05.000 It's crazy.

00:20:06.000 She goes, yeah, that is really weird.

00:20:07.000 Then he gets down on one knee.

00:20:09.000 This is how I had planned it.

00:20:11.000 Well, will you marry me and continue this cycle?

00:20:15.000 And she goes, no.

00:20:17.000 Wow.

00:20:20.000 No.

00:20:21.000 I'm too young.

00:20:22.000 She was 25.

00:20:24.000 They met when she was 20.

00:20:27.000 They'd been living together for almost five years.

00:20:29.000 They were inseparable.

00:20:30.000 But because she's 25, I'm not ready.

00:20:33.000 In other words, I need more dicks. 1.00

00:20:34.000 Now, I've seen a lot of dicks at the gym. 0.99

00:20:37.000 They're all basically the same.

00:20:39.000 There's the occasional huge one, the occasional small one.

00:20:41.000 They're all pretty medium.

00:20:43.000 Why do you need so many dicks? 1.00

00:20:44.000 I don't know if it's the dicks.

00:20:46.000 What is it then?

00:20:46.000 For women, it's probably like the experience of being swept away by some Burt Reynolds.

00:20:52.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:20:53.000 So that guy could afford to be a little more scared of water.

00:20:59.000 But this guy is too scared of water.

00:21:03.000 This is Guy in Water in the notes, and it said the hurricane recently.

00:21:08.000 What's the source?

00:21:10.000 Oh, did I send it?

00:21:11.000 It's Guy in Water?

00:21:12.000 Yeah, no, no, no.

00:21:13.000 In the notes?

00:21:14.000 Like, Vanity Fair or Parlor?

00:21:14.000 Not the headline.

00:21:17.000 Parlor.

00:21:17.000 Okay.

00:21:19.000 I got it.

00:21:22.000 No.

00:21:24.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:21:25.000 You post on Parlor.

00:21:27.000 Like, Guy in Harvey?

00:21:29.000 Oh, geez, the whole thing.

00:21:30.000 How have you not clicked on the links yet?

00:21:32.000 No, I have.

00:21:33.000 It's clearly they're all open there.

00:21:35.000 But you have to do all this shit.

00:21:38.000 You can't send Parlor links.

00:21:39.000 It doesn't work.

00:21:40.000 Okay, well, why are you finding that out now?

00:21:44.000 This is the first time you sent one, I believe.

00:21:48.000 Well, this is going to slow down the show, but it has to happen.

00:21:52.000 I need you to see this.

00:21:53.000 Is there no way to find the article elsewhere?

00:21:55.000 No, it's a picture I took of the New York Post.

00:21:57.000 Oh.

00:21:58.000 But it has to be seen, to be believed, because it is pathetic.

00:22:03.000 And it's one of those things that you don't, if you don't have an analytical mind and you're just sort of incuriously breezing through the paper, you won't notice this.

00:22:12.000 And you just go, oh, man, they only had high water in Texas again.

00:22:16.000 Remember, we had this with Hurricane Harvey not too long ago?

00:22:22.000 So they had another hurricane, brutal flooding in Texas.

00:22:26.000 And this absolute loser of a zero, I've emailed this to you now, Ryan.

00:22:33.000 Is standing on the hood of his car.

00:22:36.000 What?

00:22:37.000 If you can stand on the hood of your car in a flood, then it's only two feet deep?

00:22:44.000 Look at this clown.

00:22:47.000 What are you doing?

00:22:49.000 Oh, you're scared of the undertow?

00:22:51.000 You can have a, first of all, you can see there's no undertow, or the water would be cresting all over the car.

00:22:56.000 But secondly, if it's only two feet deep, three feet deep, then the undertow is not going to do shit to you.

00:23:02.000 Look at that person in the background, just walking around.

00:23:06.000 And then they bring him a life jacket.

00:23:08.000 Why?

00:23:09.000 Because he can't swim?

00:23:10.000 Then don't swim.

00:23:12.000 You're in two and a half feet of water.

00:23:15.000 Look at this.

00:23:16.000 Meanwhile, those people should be out rescuing old ladies or something.

00:23:20.000 Not some fit black dude with aquaphobia.

00:23:25.000 What?

00:23:25.000 Oh, look, it's a cameraman.

00:23:27.000 Is that not somebody with an umbrella in a wheelchair?

00:23:30.000 What?

00:23:31.000 That's what I see.

00:23:34.000 No, I don't know what that is.

00:23:35.000 I think it's just an umbrella without a person.

00:23:39.000 But yeah, maybe you're right.

00:23:40.000 It looks to me like a...

00:23:42.000 Someone rolling down the street.

00:23:48.000 I'm sorry to be unsympathetic about the Louisiana guy who drowned in Africa, but that was idiotic. 0.98

00:23:54.000 And this is just as bad.

00:23:56.000 He needs two people to help him down.

00:23:58.000 What an absolute pussy. 1.00

00:24:00.000 It reminds me of the previous time Texas was bombarded by storms.

00:24:05.000 And they had this iconic photo that became, you know, the photo for the, it represented Hurricane Harvey and everyone coming together.

00:24:14.000 And this guy is carrying a woman in ankle-deep water.

00:24:18.000 Yes, that link is in the stuff.

00:24:19.000 It's not a parlor link.

00:24:21.000 Oh, like guy in water.

00:24:23.000 It's New York Daily News.

00:24:24.000 Come on, Ryan, please.

00:24:26.000 Yeah, there you go.

00:24:27.000 So that's the kind of thing your eye just sort of goes, oh, good.

00:24:30.000 And you change, you read the article, you move on.

00:24:33.000 But look how deep the water is.

00:24:35.000 It's about six inches of water.

00:24:39.000 Not even a foot.

00:24:41.000 And she has rubber boots on.

00:24:43.000 And a baby of that age, Catherine Pham, weighs maybe 11 pounds.

00:24:50.000 And it's asleep.

00:24:51.000 What are we doing?

00:24:53.000 It is cozy.

00:24:54.000 Why is he carrying her?

00:24:57.000 Like, from now on, if there's a flood, we're only rescuing old ladies and people who are paralyzed.

00:25:05.000 I'm done with carrying people in six inches of water.

00:25:07.000 And check this out.

00:25:09.000 There's another link I sent you there.

00:25:11.000 This cuck, Tom Pham, these immigrants come here from Thailand, I guess. 1.00

00:25:16.000 And she demands that we waste our rescue guys carrying her. 1.00

00:25:21.000 Meanwhile, he is carrying his shoes.

00:25:24.000 Look at him.

00:25:29.000 What's his name?

00:25:30.000 Something Pham?

00:25:32.000 Kathy Pham?

00:25:33.000 Yeah, that's her. 0.60

00:25:34.000 I said his.

00:25:35.000 Oh, that seems like.

00:25:36.000 Troy Pham, I think.

00:25:38.000 Yeah.

00:25:38.000 Is his name?

00:25:39.000 Hey, Troy, put your fucking shoes on.

00:25:42.000 Tell that guy, the Marine SWAT team dude, to go rescue old ladies. 1.00

00:25:46.000 And you get your nikes wet, carrying your baby, and your wife, she can walk. 0.99

00:25:52.000 Why can't she walk? 0.99

00:25:56.000 And it's funny, too, because people just sort of accept it and smile.

00:25:59.000 This goes Back, this actually is becoming the theme of the show.

00:26:02.000 This goes back to fashion.

00:26:03.000 So people just go, Yeah, that's cool.

00:26:05.000 He's rescuing people.

00:26:06.000 No one goes, Wait a minute, what?

00:26:08.000 How deep is the water?

00:26:10.000 It's like when Anderson Cooper, remember, he was like, Oh, there he is.

00:26:14.000 There's the cuck.

00:26:16.000 When Anderson Cooper was like sitting in the water and then talking about how dangerous the flooding is, and then someone just sort of walks by in the background and he said, he's ankle deep.

00:26:29.000 That was great.

00:26:30.000 That was hilarious.

00:26:32.000 And then he tried to cover it up.

00:26:34.000 He said, no, the land was all over the place.

00:26:36.000 I was just in a dip.

00:26:38.000 So why were you in the dip, stupid?

00:26:40.000 Yeah, get out of the dip. 0.92

00:26:42.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:26:43.000 There it is.

00:26:46.000 Look at this.

00:26:47.000 We are water pussies.

00:26:52.000 He jumped into a hole.

00:26:56.000 I've heard people debunk that and say, no, that wasn't Hurricane Harvey.

00:26:59.000 That was a different hurricane.

00:27:01.000 Okay, I don't care what hurricane it was.

00:27:03.000 It's still fake news.

00:27:05.000 Did Trump really say fucking fake news?

00:27:07.000 You're fucking fake news.

00:27:09.000 When?

00:27:09.000 My mom said he did.

00:27:10.000 And that's where I get my news from.

00:27:13.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:27:15.000 All right, so that's our little water segment.

00:27:18.000 Also in the news.

00:27:19.000 Miley Cyrus and her friend are no more.

00:27:23.000 Miley Cyrus was married for about an hour and a half to some guy named Liam Hemsworth or something.

00:27:28.000 And then that other chick was married for about an hour and a half to Brody Jenner. 1.00

00:27:33.000 Bruce Jenner's son, I believe.

00:27:35.000 And now they dated for, I don't know, a month, and now they're no longer lesbians.

00:27:40.000 Ladies, I have some bad news for you.

00:27:43.000 You were never lesbians.

00:27:45.000 This is what girls do in college. 1.00

00:27:47.000 They're 69 and they think that they're LGBT.

00:27:51.000 You want to be brave and gay?

00:27:53.000 Be gay when you're my age, when everyone's ugly, when your tits are sagging to the ground, when you've got cellulite, your ass is losing its shape. 1.00

00:28:00.000 Let's see you do it then.

00:28:02.000 This is not brave.

00:28:03.000 This is play acting.

00:28:04.000 You're playing lesbian the same way you played house when you're a little girl. 0.97

00:28:09.000 You're not really gay. 0.89

00:28:11.000 Lesbians are not lesbians unless they're ugly. 1.00

00:28:13.000 Sorry.

00:28:14.000 It's just a fact.

00:28:18.000 Gays are gay. 1.00

00:28:19.000 Actually, what I'm noticing now, and this brings us to the next segment, straights are gayer than gay. 1.00

00:28:25.000 I think we have to say goodbye to gay having anything to do with homosexuals. 1.00

00:28:29.000 Because my experience is straits are way gayer than gays could ever gay. 1.00

00:28:34.000 So let's let the gay ship sail. 1.00

00:28:36.000 Mark Ruffalo is gayer than any gay. 1.00

00:28:42.000 Or look at this.

00:28:44.000 There's a show out called This Is Us.

00:28:46.000 I've never watched it, but I just saw this clip from the Emmys last night.

00:28:49.000 And the guy who's the star of the show is so unbelievably gay. 0.99

00:28:55.000 And I don't mean homosexual.

00:28:59.000 He brought his parents to the awards ceremony.

00:29:01.000 And the way he talks is so unbelievably irritating.

00:29:05.000 What are you doing, Ryan?

00:29:06.000 Is this not it?

00:29:07.000 No, a paraplegic is the head of a show.

00:29:12.000 He can't move.

00:29:13.000 That guy.

00:29:15.000 Show that's clip.

00:29:17.000 Wait, go back to the beginning.

00:29:19.000 My love and Tamilia joining me now from This Is Us, Nominal.

00:29:27.000 Thank you very much.

00:29:28.000 Thank you very much.

00:29:29.000 I have to say, you have some very special dates with you here.

00:29:33.000 Yeah, I brought my mom and dad.

00:29:35.000 Yeah, they're here tonight, right here.

00:29:36.000 They must be so proud.

00:29:38.000 They're pretty excited.

00:29:39.000 Come on, guys.

00:29:39.000 Come here.

00:29:40.000 Come here.

00:29:40.000 Come on, guys.

00:29:41.000 What the hell?

00:29:41.000 What is this?

00:29:42.000 It's the first time.

00:29:43.000 They basically, come on up.

00:29:44.000 I hate celebrities.

00:29:46.000 Hi there.

00:29:46.000 I'm Julian.

00:29:47.000 I'm so irritating.

00:29:48.000 We see you on television.

00:29:49.000 It's so nice to meet you there.

00:29:51.000 Interviewing him all.

00:29:56.000 Third time's the charm.

00:29:57.000 Tell me.

00:29:58.000 Third time's the charm.

00:29:59.000 That's right.

00:30:00.000 Why is this the first year?

00:30:00.000 Why?

00:30:02.000 Why?

00:30:02.000 Why would you want to go to that?

00:30:03.000 I think it's like seven hours long.

00:30:06.000 You have to sit in a chair for seven hours.

00:30:07.000 You can't pee.

00:30:08.000 Can you imagine?

00:30:09.000 That sucks.

00:30:10.000 Does anyone watch this shit?

00:30:13.000 I forget it even happens.

00:30:15.000 Yeah.

00:30:17.000 Imagine caring about this is us getting an Emmy.

00:30:22.000 This guy is just, he's like an Italian guy who takes paintball too seriously. 1.00

00:30:26.000 You know, we're going to go over the, you know, the shed.

00:30:26.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:29.000 I'm sure you are.

00:30:29.000 You know, Milo, you told me last year that a mantra of yours, if you will, is to lead with love.

00:30:35.000 Lead with love.

00:30:36.000 That's my mantra.

00:30:36.000 Is that something that you're doing?

00:30:37.000 That you learn from.

00:30:38.000 Yeah, very much learned from my mom and dad.

00:30:40.000 My mom and dad, they're very loving people, very supportive.

00:30:43.000 Raise my sisters and I. Watch your step pop.

00:30:46.000 Raise my sisters and I with that.

00:30:48.000 You know, with the grace that they have.

00:30:51.000 Just human beings.

00:30:53.000 Can't look at them too much.

00:30:54.000 I'll start crying.

00:30:56.000 That's melancholy show.

00:30:57.000 Imagine calling your dad graceful.

00:30:59.000 Well, you can't even imagine having a dad.

00:31:01.000 He gracefully exited.

00:31:03.000 Hey, dad, you showed real grace today.

00:31:07.000 I noticed that at the bar.

00:31:08.000 When someone bought you a drink, you paid for their drink and you bought them a drink back.

00:31:12.000 That was really graceful.

00:31:14.000 You've showed incredible grace today, old man.

00:31:16.000 Pops.

00:31:17.000 Watch your step.

00:31:18.000 Watch your step, pops.

00:31:19.000 So I looked it up.

00:31:21.000 And it is gayer than gay. 1.00

00:31:23.000 Homosexuals, goodbye. 1.00

00:31:25.000 You're no longer invited to the word gay.

00:31:27.000 We've taken the ball and run with it.

00:31:29.000 Oh, look, there's that huge, obese pig. 1.00

00:31:31.000 Yeah, is this the first bi-wedal couple? 0.99

00:31:35.000 What's bi-wedal mean? 0.86

00:31:37.000 One weighs a lot, the other one weighs normal.

00:31:40.000 That's the first fat lady I've seen with a skinny digital. 1.00

00:31:42.000 She's enormous, too.

00:31:43.000 I forget her name, but when you see her.

00:31:44.000 Oh, she's tremendous.

00:31:45.000 She's great.

00:31:46.000 She's huge.

00:31:48.000 No, go back to the beginning.

00:31:49.000 She's fantastic.

00:31:50.000 Turn it up.

00:31:52.000 This is the show.

00:31:53.000 You know what we should do?

00:31:54.000 We should watch a whole episode of this.

00:31:55.000 On the show?

00:31:56.000 Yeah, let's start watching shows together.

00:31:58.000 You know what we should do?

00:31:59.000 The Unbelievable, I'm Told, is Unbelievable.

00:31:59.000 What's up?

00:32:01.000 Chelsea Manning has that video about Hello World, This Is My Privilege, or something. 0.96

00:32:07.000 We should sit there and watch those and make it an episode.

00:32:10.000 Okay.

00:32:11.000 Maybe it's a good idea.

00:32:12.000 Oh, so we don't watch them together.

00:32:13.000 We do it.

00:32:14.000 No, we watch it.

00:32:15.000 We just clos it.

00:32:16.000 Oh, okay, cool.

00:32:17.000 So we have a camera on us and then a camera on the screen.

00:32:20.000 I like it.

00:32:21.000 Frankly.

00:32:22.000 Frankly.

00:32:23.000 Great idea.

00:32:24.000 Okay, what is this crap?

00:32:26.000 It's so strange, isn't it?

00:32:29.000 How just like that, a complete stranger can become such a.

00:32:32.000 There he is.

00:32:33.000 That's the guy.

00:32:34.000 How many times did she say strange is there?

00:32:37.000 Is it strange how strange this happens with this?

00:32:40.000 The only way this can be bearable is if some of them are aliens and they're here to kill us all.

00:32:46.000 Hi, I'm black.

00:32:47.000 I know.

00:32:50.000 Yo, I love you.

00:32:54.000 I'm making a little tiny egg.

00:32:56.000 What is this fucking the nothing happened show?

00:32:58.000 Yes, it's a soap opera.

00:33:00.000 So there's like five different couples and you just follow them throughout life.

00:33:04.000 It's this revolutionary new thing called fucking soap opera.

00:33:09.000 You're watching a soap.

00:33:10.000 This is your telenovelas.

00:33:14.000 Ew, everybody's all happy and there's like little moments of sadness.

00:33:17.000 This is what I mean about gay. 0.56

00:33:19.000 I was sad because we've taken gay from the gays. 1.00

00:33:22.000 If I was gay, I'd be protesting, saying I want my gay back. 0.99

00:33:26.000 You're out gaying me.

00:33:27.000 Was it M. Night Shyamalan?

00:33:30.000 Yeah, it is.

00:33:31.000 Oh, yeah, it is.

00:33:32.000 He looks like a funny little boy, doesn't he?

00:33:38.000 Looks like the kid that I am 10.

00:33:40.000 Yeah.

00:33:40.000 He plays with cow dung way too much.

00:33:42.000 It's fun.

00:33:43.000 It's like Play-Doh.

00:33:45.000 I saw her on. 0.60

00:33:46.000 Is there any other video on that Facebook thing?

00:33:49.000 Because there's one where she's wearing a black leather dress. 0.99

00:33:51.000 Go back to the feed of that show.

00:33:53.000 Okay.

00:33:54.000 And she's wearing a black leather dress.

00:33:56.000 Keep going.

00:33:58.000 On Jimmy Kimmel.

00:34:00.000 Oh, that thing is so gay. 1.00

00:34:02.000 They're just talking about how life is love.

00:34:06.000 What the fuck?

00:34:07.000 God, she's dying.

00:34:08.000 Look how fat she is. 1.00

00:34:10.000 Keep going.

00:34:12.000 Yeah, there she is. 1.00

00:34:13.000 Oh, my God.

00:34:14.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

00:34:15.000 That's terrible.

00:34:17.000 Her fat is bigger than her tits. 1.00

00:34:19.000 And her tits are huge. 1.00

00:34:21.000 It says, guess who stopped by the tonight show?

00:34:23.000 It'd be funny if it said guess who stopped.

00:34:24.000 She's a literal bag of garbage. 1.00

00:34:26.000 She's a contractor bag of garbage. 1.00

00:34:32.000 You can put her out Thursdays, Thursday mornings.

00:34:35.000 Wednesdays recycling.

00:34:36.000 Thursdays is this chick.

00:34:38.000 Chrissy Metz coming down the red carpet in the Force Flex by Glad Bag.

00:34:46.000 Holy shit.

00:34:47.000 Like if that was your male friend, you'd go, Eddie, what the fuck, man?

00:34:52.000 What are you doing?

00:34:54.000 Do you have a disorder?

00:34:55.000 Like, you're going to die.

00:34:56.000 I would be so worried about him if he was my friend.

00:34:59.000 But when it's a woman, she's basically black and she rocks. 1.00

00:34:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:04.000 And we're positive about it.

00:35:07.000 We're staying positive about her getting diabetes and dying.

00:35:10.000 But there's more gayness I wanted to show.

00:35:13.000 Wait, I got a clip of her.

00:35:16.000 I want to see what she moves like.

00:35:18.000 I want to see her get on, like when they say, welcome.

00:35:22.000 Oh, no, they just start with her.

00:35:23.000 Look at her.

00:35:24.000 She looks like a Varouka Salt in Willy Wonka when she lies and turns into a Jerry Blueberry balloon. 1.00

00:35:32.000 And what's going on?

00:35:33.000 Is he in This Is Us this season?

00:35:36.000 I mean, the way I know it, I know.

00:35:38.000 I mean, technically.

00:35:38.000 I'll have to say something.

00:35:39.000 Technically, stop breathing for a second.

00:35:42.000 I was like, if you stop eating for a second, Austin.

00:35:46.000 He is.

00:35:47.000 Look at him.

00:35:47.000 I know, but.

00:35:49.000 What the fuck?

00:35:50.000 But this could be from anywhere.

00:35:51.000 It could be.

00:35:52.000 Just a stock photo of M. Night Shamel.

00:35:54.000 Why are they trying to make it look advanced?

00:35:55.000 It's a soap opera.

00:35:56.000 The end.

00:35:57.000 Right.

00:35:58.000 You have a famous guy doing a cameo in your soap opera.

00:36:00.000 That guy on the phone or something.

00:36:02.000 Anything but looking at you.

00:36:05.000 Look at that.

00:36:05.000 He's on someplace else.

00:36:07.000 This is what I don't get about modern society.

00:36:08.000 Why are we all pretending, like with Miley Cyrus, we're pretending she was a lesbian for a month? 0.83

00:36:14.000 What?

00:36:14.000 She made out with another hot chick when she was drunk at a party and then decided to subsume lesbian culture and make it her own.

00:36:21.000 She wasn't a lesbian. 1.00

00:36:22.000 That woman is dying. 1.00

00:36:23.000 Why are we all just being...

00:36:33.000 But you got to see this.

00:36:35.000 Gayer than gay. 1.00

00:36:36.000 Dax Shepard has a crush on Brad Pitt.

00:36:40.000 Oh, shoot.

00:36:41.000 That's another parlor thing.

00:36:44.000 Oh, fudge. 0.99

00:36:45.000 I think it's this one.

00:36:46.000 Viewpost on parlor.

00:36:48.000 God dang it.

00:36:49.000 They make it.

00:36:49.000 See, that's the thing they got to change.

00:36:51.000 You should be able to look at stuff without signing in, frankly.

00:36:55.000 Well, why aren't you on parlor?

00:36:57.000 I am.

00:36:58.000 I just haven't not signed in on this.

00:37:01.000 Well, sign in.

00:37:03.000 And also, check all the links before we start the show and make sure they work.

00:37:08.000 Oh, you got that stupid verification thing?

00:37:10.000 Yeah, this is an opening.

00:37:11.000 Anyway, Dax Shepard is a fan favorite of Ellen.

00:37:14.000 So when she's away going on a pussy-eating vendor, she gets Dax to come in and do the show. 0.99

00:37:21.000 And Dax's favorite subject is Brad Pitt.

00:37:25.000 How gorgeous he is.

00:37:26.000 Now, you're allowed to have man crushes, but your man crush has to be a killer.

00:37:30.000 For example, my man crush Jason Statham.

00:37:34.000 I like seeing him kick the living shit out of people in movies.

00:37:37.000 You're not allowed to like Brad Pitt as a dude.

00:37:41.000 That's like liking David Beckham or something.

00:37:44.000 What the fuck are you doing, Ryan?

00:37:47.000 You can't figure out those little robot things?

00:37:50.000 No, the captch is fine.

00:37:51.000 The password's not correct.

00:37:53.000 What?

00:37:56.000 Wow.

00:37:57.000 Anyway, it's ruined now.

00:38:01.000 What are you doing?

00:38:01.000 You're trying to figure out what your own password is?

00:38:04.000 It can only be a couple of things.

00:38:06.000 Well, then why are you having so much trouble?

00:38:09.000 This has been like 10 minutes.

00:38:11.000 I don't think it's actually working.

00:38:12.000 Oh, my God.

00:38:13.000 It would be faster if you just to look it up.

00:38:15.000 Dax Shepard, Brad Pitt, Ellen.

00:38:18.000 God, I want to stab you sometimes.

00:38:21.000 He's not smart enough to use Parlor.

00:38:23.000 He can't work his password.

00:38:25.000 He can't work anything.

00:38:27.000 That's, by the way, my ghetto social media now, Parlor and Telegram.

00:38:30.000 And you can find it on the links on this site.

00:38:35.000 Ew, look at his sweater.

00:38:38.000 I hate celebrities.

00:38:41.000 I was told that Ellen left a surprise for me, which I'm excited to see.

00:38:45.000 Apparently, she was talking with another guest last week, and my name came up.

00:38:49.000 I haven't seen this, but let's take a look.

00:38:51.000 I'll tell you who saw that movie, I bet, a ton of times.

00:38:54.000 And he's in love with you, as a matter of fact.

00:38:57.000 Every time he's here, Dak Shepard, take a look at this clip of how obsessed he is with Brad.

00:39:02.000 Let's talk about Brad Pitt, because you love him?

00:39:05.000 Sure deal.

00:39:06.000 I'm actually changed.

00:39:07.000 Look at this son of a gun.

00:39:08.000 Let's be clear, you're not gay, okay? 1.00

00:39:13.000 I am not with the exception of him.

00:39:15.000 I see.

00:39:16.000 He is an angel.

00:39:19.000 He's not a...

00:39:21.000 This is someone that has fallen from the stars.

00:39:24.000 Let's give Dax his gift.

00:39:24.000 Right.

00:39:26.000 Oh, my God.

00:39:34.000 Do you know that Dax Shepard has a crush on you?

00:39:37.000 I have a bit of a crush on Dax Shepard.

00:39:39.000 I don't believe it.

00:39:39.000 Wow.

00:39:40.000 Woo! 0.99

00:39:42.000 Woo! 0.99

00:39:46.000 Guys, I did not know that was coming.

00:39:50.000 I gotta take a cooldown lap.

00:39:53.000 Well, another surprise today.

00:39:56.000 What have we done to masculinity?

00:39:57.000 And I don't think Dak Shepard is gay, by the way.

00:39:59.000 That's my point here.

00:40:00.000 Is that gays have been left in the dust? 0.61

00:40:03.000 We have out-gayed gays. 1.00

00:40:05.000 Look at this.

00:40:05.000 This is gayer than gay.

00:40:08.000 We love daddy.

00:40:10.000 These little rascals. 1.00

00:40:11.000 We don't need your love.

00:40:12.000 What they did is they vandalized yourself.

00:40:13.000 clean your room.

00:40:20.000 Who gives a fuck?

00:40:21.000 I cried.

00:40:22.000 The miracle really is not only that they tricked me, is that neither of them told me last night during bedtime, which is almost impossible to believe.

00:40:28.000 They can't keep any secrets whatsoever.

00:40:31.000 That's entertainment.

00:40:33.000 If my wife brought the kids to the studio and I come in and there's fucking notes all over the wall, I go, what are you doing?

00:40:40.000 You brought the kids into the city?

00:40:42.000 What are you doing now?

00:40:43.000 Did they miss school?

00:40:45.000 Why are they here?

00:40:46.000 Tell them to go back home and now I got to clean the studio.

00:40:50.000 It's idiotic.

00:40:52.000 And it's unbelievably gay. 0.99

00:40:55.000 Okay, my final entry into this is activism is gayer than gay. 0.99

00:41:02.000 And I was looking at this tweet where this guy put up, he was talking about a weekend of climate change fighting.

00:41:10.000 Oh, Jesus, Ryan.

00:41:11.000 There you are.

00:41:14.000 Adam Greenberg.

00:41:15.000 First of all, look at his face.

00:41:16.000 Click on his face.

00:41:18.000 You're just going to want to punch it.

00:41:20.000 Look at that.

00:41:21.000 Look at his unbelievable fucking face.

00:41:25.000 And his stupid little landing strip from 1990s hustler on his chin and his sweet little smile with his kafaya and his wool hat.

00:41:36.000 It's probably 80 degrees that day.

00:41:39.000 Look at him.

00:41:40.000 Okay, now check out the pictures that he posted.

00:41:43.000 So what does he say?

00:41:44.000 No, no, not yet.

00:41:44.000 Amazing sight.

00:41:45.000 Amazing sight.

00:41:46.000 Healthcare workers together with Black Lives Matter.

00:41:48.000 What the fuck have they got in common?

00:41:50.000 I hate the way the left just puts it all in one big bucket.

00:41:54.000 Have set up free health screenings and blood pressure clinic on Independence and Washington in DC.

00:42:00.000 What?

00:42:01.000 Oh, that's the streets?

00:42:02.000 Welcome to Shut Down DC.

00:42:04.000 Building a better world is good for you.

00:42:06.000 So come on down on the price is right.

00:42:10.000 Free shit for me.

00:42:11.000 So first, this is the least queer out of any of the pictures, and it's blood pressure checks in case you're stressed out about the fact that the Earth won't be here anymore. 0.99

00:42:20.000 And by the way, all this climate change bullshit, these lies, they are stressing out our kids because we're telling little eight-year-olds that the Earth's not going to be here when they're 30 years old.

00:42:32.000 That's clearly a lie.

00:42:33.000 Even my son, my six-year-old, goes, Dad, did turtles die with plastic straws?

00:42:38.000 I go, no, it's not a thing.

00:42:40.000 There was one video that went viral where a woman pulled a straw out of a fucking turtle's schnauz. 0.98

00:42:45.000 And that became the end of plastic straws forever.

00:42:48.000 Because we're living in this epoch where politics is fashion and a trend changes everything.

00:42:55.000 So that's the lease gate gets.

00:42:56.000 Now check out this.

00:42:58.000 Look at this.

00:43:00.000 What the fuck?

00:43:02.000 Why, first of all, why is an Asian there holding it? 1.00

00:43:05.000 Secondly, what the flying shithead does Black Lives Matter have to do with unicorns? 1.00

00:43:13.000 Am I the only person not crazy here?

00:43:15.000 Look at that.

00:43:17.000 Black Lives Matter, and they've made a stencil out of a unicorn and spray-painted different colors around it, so now it's a rainbow flag? 0.58

00:43:24.000 Black Lives Matter, for example, a unicorn on a full moon.

00:43:30.000 Is that the, like, I want to wear that shirt?

00:43:32.000 I would probably get beat up for wearing it.

00:43:34.000 Yeah, it seems like you're mocking the movement.

00:43:36.000 They're so ridiculous that they look like they're mocking it.

00:43:39.000 Maybe it's a Lisa Frank throwback because that was like a very, like in the hood, this kind of stuff.

00:43:46.000 A lot of people were big in the hood.

00:43:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:43:49.000 Like in the Bronx, like the black community. 1.00

00:43:51.000 Yeah, go back to that stupid sign.

00:43:53.000 No, you're wrong.

00:43:54.000 No, there's nothing to do with that.

00:43:55.000 It's just unbelievably fucking retarded. 1.00

00:44:00.000 Look at that.

00:44:01.000 And what does climate emergency have to do with black lives?

00:44:04.000 And what does any of that have to do with a unicorn?

00:44:06.000 I think there's another one, too.

00:44:08.000 Is that it for pictures?

00:44:10.000 It's just lame.

00:44:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:12.000 No, no, no.

00:44:13.000 Look at this.

00:44:14.000 Look at on the far left there.

00:44:16.000 One world, one love.

00:44:19.000 And then there's a medical sign with the snake.

00:44:22.000 Earth, body, both.

00:44:25.000 What?

00:44:27.000 One earth, one love, earth, body, both.

00:44:29.000 Oh, no, no.

00:44:30.000 I'm sorry.

00:44:31.000 I don't know why I said I'm sorry.

00:44:33.000 It's one earth, one body, love both.

00:44:36.000 It's top down, top down, top down.

00:44:39.000 Still gay, still retarded. 1.00

00:44:40.000 One earth, one body, love both.

00:44:43.000 Yeah, what they didn't do was use the icons to separate the two.

00:44:48.000 You know, so it does look like shit.

00:44:48.000 Yeah.

00:44:50.000 Yeah, it's very confusing.

00:44:52.000 And now that you explain it to me, I still don't get it.

00:44:55.000 Like, love your body?

00:44:57.000 One earth, one body, love both.

00:44:59.000 You love your body?

00:45:00.000 Or do we already love our body?

00:45:01.000 I don't even know.

00:45:02.000 I don't know.

00:45:03.000 Unbelievable.

00:45:04.000 All right.

00:45:04.000 So speaking of the truth, there was a brilliant little prank played in Massachusetts in a small town where they put up flyers all over town, this shishi bourgeois town that pretends to embrace Islam, yet they don't have any jihadists in their vicinity.

00:45:25.000 They put up these posters that said, Islam is right about women. 1.00

00:45:29.000 And That's just genius.

00:45:31.000 It's the same as it's okay to be white. 0.93

00:45:33.000 And it's kind of the same as the Sharia protest we had in New York, where we kind of tricked Antifa into supporting Sharia, which, by the way, is everything they're against.

00:45:43.000 Because we said we're against Sharia, and they go, no, no, no, we're for it. 1.00

00:45:46.000 And you go, oh, okay, you're for women being second-class citizens. 1.00

00:45:49.000 So this is a guy.

00:45:51.000 I'll explain the joke to you in case you don't get it.

00:45:53.000 No one in the town seemed to get it.

00:45:55.000 He's saying, yeah, I'm so sexist that I support Islam.

00:45:58.000 It's the kind of a joke I've done a few times.

00:46:00.000 In fact, I did it at the Sharia rally. 0.60

00:46:03.000 I said, let's cut this shit.

00:46:04.000 They're right about a lot of stuff.

00:46:05.000 Women can't drive. 1.00

00:46:06.000 They should get permission to drive.

00:46:08.000 And I'm sick of seeing hot chicks everywhere. 1.00

00:46:10.000 Put a burqa on them. 1.00

00:46:12.000 I get too horny looking at them.

00:46:14.000 And that's my same joke.

00:46:16.000 And by the way, no one got the joke at the rally.

00:46:17.000 That's so weird.

00:46:18.000 rallies they want to hear like hitler talk dadada dadada dadada dadada dadada dadada So you can just basically say, USA, this is America.

00:46:29.000 We rock freedom.

00:46:30.000 Yeah.

00:46:31.000 You basically have to talk like Team America World Police.

00:46:34.000 Anyway, that's the joke I did at the Shari Rally, and this is the joke they did in town, and it's just beautiful.

00:46:38.000 Let's just roll the tape.

00:46:39.000 Somebody call this town idyllic.

00:46:41.000 Its streets are clean, green spaces, well manicured, the The people of Winchester diverse and engaged.

00:46:48.000 Then taped to the streetlights, suggesting that women are subjugated by the Muslim faith. 0.98

00:46:58.000 I find the sign disturbing, and I hope it's just a prank that someone didn't think through.

00:47:06.000 There weren't a lot of them.

00:47:07.000 Eight, maybe ten.

00:47:08.000 But placed in the town center where passersby would take notice.

00:47:13.000 Dude, whoever did this, please contact us.

00:47:15.000 You're awesome.

00:47:16.000 And hilarious.

00:47:17.000 Personally, I don't agree with that.

00:47:19.000 It was him.

00:47:20.000 A second-class citizen.

00:47:22.000 Human rights.

00:47:22.000 I believe in human rights.

00:47:24.000 The words could be interpreted in several ways, but the police say whatever the meaning, it's protected speech.

00:47:30.000 It's non-threatening.

00:47:32.000 It was basically one statement.

00:47:34.000 Weird badge.

00:47:36.000 Right now, it's kind of funny.

00:47:37.000 The only reason we took him down is because they agree with it.

00:47:40.000 It's like a judge dread badge.

00:47:41.000 If the intention was to shock people, it may have worked.

00:47:45.000 If the intention was that the tenets of Sharia law and what those say about women are right, then I disagree. 0.59

00:47:54.000 It is an interesting dilemma.

00:47:57.000 Even like if she pronounces it defiantly, Sharia.

00:47:57.000 Sharia.

00:48:00.000 Have you noticed a pattern with this show and the outrage culture in general?

00:48:04.000 A total willfully ignorant conspiracy.

00:48:10.000 A complete inability to comprehend satire.

00:48:13.000 Not one of those people went, I get it.

00:48:15.000 It's pretty funny.

00:48:16.000 You got me.

00:48:19.000 Like the whole Proud Boys thing, where they get beat up until they can name five breakfast cereals.

00:48:26.000 People just call it bizarre.

00:48:27.000 The idea that it's a joke has never occurred to anyone.

00:48:30.000 That's a funny prank someone played, and it's hilarious and it's insightful.

00:48:34.000 It's really what good art is.

00:48:36.000 And getting good at it, if you will.

00:48:38.000 If you will.

00:48:42.000 All right.

00:48:42.000 I think we should Oh, yeah.

00:48:47.000 No, let's call Michelle after we do the Antifa thing. 0.99

00:48:51.000 I'm going to get up, go to the green screen room, and explain to you why Candace Owens is right and the Department of Homeland Security is wrong.

00:49:00.000 Thank you.

00:49:02.000 I'm a Z. Peace.

00:49:08.000 Candace Owens was ridiculed last week for saying that white nationalism is not a thing.

00:49:13.000 White supremacy is not a problem.

00:49:17.000 She's wrong.

00:49:19.000 White supremacy is a problem in that this constant myth of Nazis lurking around every corner is putting people in jail.

00:49:27.000 It's getting people deplatformed, depersoned, fired.

00:49:30.000 We've got entire firehouses shutting down based on the possibility that the VP is a proud boy and that might affect how he puts out fires.

00:49:39.000 Yet, you can have a Muslim work at American Airlines and be sabotaging planes, and it takes about a year before anyone dares risk offending him by saying, excuse me, are you a terrorist? 0.99

00:49:50.000 So this boring fact is actually one of the most dangerous things in the country right now because they are using the myth of white supremacy to throw people in jail.

00:50:01.000 I got two buddies, John and Max, facing sentencing this month, and it could be nine years for defending themselves against bona fide domestic terrorist Antifa.

00:50:12.000 So there is anti-Semitism in this country.

00:50:15.000 It's Islamic.

00:50:18.000 There is terrorism in this country.

00:50:20.000 It's Islamic and Antifa.

00:50:22.000 And white supremacy is not a thing.

00:50:25.000 Now, by saying it's a thing, you are empowering law enforcement to go and start picking up Trump supporters and throwing them in jail.

00:50:32.000 My friends are looking at nine years in prison for defending themselves from an ambush.

00:50:37.000 So NBC News recently announced the Department of Homeland Security is adding white nationalism to its list of threats.

00:50:48.000 And they were basing this on the El Paso shooting where how many were killed?

00:50:52.000 22 people were killed in El Paso by a guy who hated immigration.

00:50:55.000 That just means white supremacy to them.

00:50:57.000 I don't really understand why.

00:50:58.000 Why is anti-immigration immediately mean that you're a white supremacist?

00:51:04.000 It doesn't add up to me.

00:51:06.000 And they also conveniently ignore the shooting that happened around the same time where Connor Betts killed more people, 34 people.

00:51:14.000 And Betts had long expressed support for Antifa accounts, causes, and individuals.

00:51:20.000 So we have Antifa terrorism and anti-immigration terrorism.

00:51:24.000 We don't have a white nationalism problem.

00:51:27.000 That's a lie, and you are being lied to in order to grab power from you and give it to the tyrants, the authorities.

00:51:36.000 I was pretty shocked to see the Department of Homeland Security jump on board, and they talked about targeting patriot groups.

00:51:43.000 That's a really disturbing part of that article.

00:51:45.000 They said that back during Timothy McVeigh, they had to focus on patriot groups.

00:51:49.000 Timothy McVeigh, by the way, was not a white nationalist.

00:51:52.000 He blow up that building because he hated the government because he saw the government murder people on the Quresh compound.

00:51:58.000 And that Quresh Compound, those deaths included plenty of visible minorities.

00:52:03.000 So, this is a trick they do.

00:52:04.000 They ignore Antifa, they ignore Islam, and anytime they see a white guy do a crime in a country that's about 75% white, by the way, they say, Oh, that's domestic terrorism.

00:52:13.000 They include violence.

00:52:14.000 I mean, sorry, they include vandalism, they include tree spiking, smashing the windows of a bank, any sort of anti-government thing immediately becomes white supremacy.

00:52:23.000 Even the Vegas shooter, they use the Vegas shooter as an example of white supremacy.

00:52:28.000 Meanwhile, we don't even know what his motive was.

00:52:31.000 And I believe his girlfriend was Muslim.

00:52:34.000 Anyway, look at the mob in this link, this evil Nazi mob. 0.89

00:52:38.000 I don't understand why we don't talk about socialism.

00:52:40.000 These guys are socialists.

00:52:41.000 Isn't socialism a threat?

00:52:43.000 But I looked these guys up.

00:52:44.000 The National Socialist Movement, right?

00:52:44.000 I never heard of them.

00:52:46.000 The Nazis. 0.71

00:52:47.000 I believe the acronym includes National Socialism.

00:52:50.000 This is the threat that's taking over America.

00:52:52.000 This is Department of Homeland Security ignoring Islam, ignoring Antifa.

00:52:56.000 They have to focus on one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, seven dudes and some crazy lady, one of their girlfriends, I assume. 1.00

00:53:07.000 This is the threat that's taking over America.

00:53:10.000 This, Candace Owens, is an imbecile for saying this is not a big deal.

00:53:15.000 She trivialized the trivial. 0.97

00:53:17.000 That's where we are in society right now.

00:53:19.000 To simply state facts is radical.

00:53:20.000 Just scroll down on this pathetic website, which takes a while to get to, by the way.

00:53:24.000 When you look them up, it's ADL, SPLC, a million different links about how evil they are.

00:53:29.000 And then you finally get to their site of this tiny group of people.

00:53:32.000 And by the way, they're choosing their best pictures.

00:53:36.000 They're choosing their most numerous photographs.

00:53:41.000 And it reminded me of, what was this, the Daily Beast article?

00:53:48.000 Domestic terrorism arrest tied to white supremacy, FBI director.

00:53:51.000 Yeah, so this is...

00:54:06.000 So this isn't just a silly lie.

00:54:08.000 This is a dangerous myth that is going to imprison men, put men in cages for no fucking reason.

00:54:15.000 John and Max were defending themselves after Antifa ambushed them.

00:54:18.000 If anyone should be in prison for domestic terrorism, it's the guys who vandalized the venue, threatened people, beat up a journalist, stole his stuff.

00:54:26.000 All of that was expunged.

00:54:28.000 None of that appears on the FBI stats.

00:54:32.000 Now, let's just take a look at Islam just for a second. 0.95

00:54:35.000 Let's peek in on Islam.

00:54:37.000 Yes, they are only 1% of the population.

00:54:39.000 That's true.

00:54:40.000 But isn't it funny how even by the alt-left standards, even by the Daily Beast, FBI, mainstream media, even by their standards, we have a Muslim problem. 1.00

00:54:51.000 If 1% of the population is about as dangerous as, you say everyone's a Nazi, right?

00:54:56.000 So that's like 50% of the population.

00:54:58.000 Let's say it's 30% of the population.

00:55:00.000 30% of the population are white nationalist Trump supporters, according to you.

00:55:04.000 Aren't you disturbed by your own stats, which, by the way, are bullshit?

00:55:07.000 But even by your own stats, 30% of the population is doing as many shootings and terrorism and murders as 1% of the population?

00:55:16.000 Does that not bother you?

00:55:21.000 So looking at this, you've got to search pretty hard to find proof, by the way, that the FBI are lying.

00:55:26.000 But the Religion of Peace is a good website for this.

00:55:29.000 And it says, the FBI list includes violence against property rather than people.

00:55:33.000 In fact, the formula used by the agency to divine terrorism is somewhat fuzzy.

00:55:37.000 While it includes tree spiking and bank robbery, for example, it somehow admits the Arizona assassination of a Sunni cleric by Iranian terrorists in 1980, or the 1990 murder of Rabbi Kahane by an Islamic radical at the New York Hotel.

00:55:51.000 Even the killing of two CIA agents by a Muslim extremist at Langley in 1993.

00:55:57.000 By the way, the other trick they do is they count terrorist attacks as one incident.

00:56:01.000 So say some Nazi Klansman shoots his buddy for fucking his wife.

00:56:07.000 That's one incident.

00:56:08.000 September 11th, 3,000 people died, World Trade Center.

00:56:10.000 That's one incident.

00:56:11.000 One for one.

00:56:12.000 Seem reasonable?

00:56:13.000 Also, this link leaves out a million other examples.

00:56:17.000 For example, one of my favorite examples of people ignoring Islamic violence is this guy, Anton Nolan. 0.98

00:56:23.000 So that was in, where was it, Nebraska?

00:56:26.000 Oklahoma.

00:56:27.000 This guy, they call him Anton Nolan in all the press, right?

00:56:31.000 And no one notices this.

00:56:34.000 That's from rubbing your head on a prayer rug five times a day, bowing to Allah. 0.99

00:56:39.000 His name is not Anton Nolan.

00:56:41.000 His name is Yakim Yisrael.

00:56:44.000 And him beheading his boss for firing him was not workplace violence, as the FBI stats say, as the mainstream media says.

00:56:52.000 Him beheading his boss was just typical Islamic behavior. 1.00

00:56:56.000 In fact, on his Facebook page, and look how deep I got to go to the internet to find the truth.

00:57:01.000 He had the 8, 9, 13 quote from the Quran, I will instill terror into the hearts of the unbelievers, smite ye above their necks, which means chop their heads off, and smite all their fingertips off them, which is why we have people, Islamists posing like this in photographs, because it's from that same quote. 0.98

00:57:25.000 So the truth is that within this 1%, we have a dangerous risk of domestic terrorism that is disproportionate to their population.

00:57:36.000 American Muslim men, always tell a liberal this, by the way, and they never believe you. 1.00

00:57:41.000 I'm going to say it for the 50th time.

00:57:43.000 Young American Muslim men between the ages of 18 and 24, 25% of them, one in four of them think suicide bombing is sometimes or often justified.

00:57:56.000 Go talk to all Christians, all Trump supporters, all quote-unquote patriot groups, and ask them, when is suicide bombing justified? 0.71

00:58:06.000 You are going to get a big fat zero percent.

00:58:10.000 But with American Muslim men, it's very common, especially black American Muslims.

00:58:15.000 We've got these jihadist camps all over the country that get zero media attention.

00:58:19.000 We've got Islam Burg. 0.91

00:58:21.000 We had that one in New Mexico where a child was starved to death in some bizarre ritual.

00:58:26.000 These guys get away with it.

00:58:28.000 They got away with probation.

00:58:30.000 It barely made it to the newspapers.

00:58:31.000 Have you got that one?

00:58:32.000 Child Starved to Death in Ritual in New Mexico?

00:58:36.000 These camps all follow the same Pakistani Muslim cleric.

00:58:43.000 Yet, we don't talk about it because, I guess, because the guys are black, it's not convenient. 0.90

00:58:48.000 The truth is: hate is not on the rise in America.

00:58:55.000 That is a lie that is used to fear-monger and give the government, law enforcement, the deep state more power.

00:59:04.000 If I can convince everyone that they're going to blow up tomorrow by those eight Nazis we just showed, then I can take away your rights.

00:59:12.000 Then I can spy on you.

00:59:13.000 Then I can throw your friends in prison.

00:59:15.000 Then I can de-platform you.

00:59:16.000 Then I can stop Trump from getting re-elected.

00:59:19.000 If I can make Trump Hitler, then I can win World War III.

00:59:23.000 That is the mentality behind this lie.

00:59:25.000 But look at, there's a real clear politics link I've brought up on the show a million times, but I'll bring it up again.

00:59:31.000 And that's, who wrote that again?

00:59:33.000 You just had it up.

00:59:35.000 There it is.

00:59:37.000 David Harsanyi.

00:59:40.000 And he says, he's talking about the FBI stats and how flawed they are.

00:59:43.000 And he says, he's explaining where they get this misnomer of there being a surge in right-wing violence.

00:59:53.000 There were zero acts of right-wing terrorism in the entire nation in 2002.

00:59:58.000 Since then, we have a, quote, surge to 36 in a nation of 325 plus million people in 2017.

01:00:07.000 Among those acts, there were 11 fatalities.

01:00:09.000 By the way, bee stings kill about six people a year.

01:00:13.000 So we have twice as many domestic terror deaths in 2017 than we had bee stings.

01:00:19.000 We're in the same general category.

01:00:21.000 But you don't hear the Department of Homeland Security bitching about bees.

01:00:26.000 They talk about the Las Vegas shooter.

01:00:28.000 Then there is the matter of inconsistently defining terrorism.

01:00:33.000 If throwing a rock through the window of an Islamic center is an act of right-wing terrorism, why isn't it an act of left-wing terrorism for anti-capitalists to throw rocks through the window of a business in Oregon?

01:00:44.000 Excuse me.

01:00:45.000 Surely both fall under the description of terror, which the GTD defines as the threatened or actual use of illegal force and violence by a non-state actor seeking to attain political, economic, religious, or social goal, blah, blah, blah.

01:00:57.000 Basically, terrorism is someone committing violence to show, to attain political gain.

01:01:04.000 The FBI has a blind spot when it comes to Antifa and Islam.

01:01:08.000 And the Antifa one is particularly egregious.

01:01:10.000 One of the most shocking examples of this was this guy, Zach Rahl.

01:01:14.000 He's in Philadelphia.

01:01:16.000 He's like a big cop guy, and he has benefits for cops all the time.

01:01:18.000 We've had a cop suicide once a month so far this year with the NYPD.

01:01:22.000 So cops are under siege.

01:01:23.000 And it's not just throwing water.

01:01:25.000 It's getting murdered and being ridiculed to the point where their life isn't worth living.

01:01:29.000 Anyway, Zach Riel had a brick thrown through his window and they spray painted Nazi on his house.

01:01:37.000 This just missed his girlfriend, this brick.

01:01:39.000 You know what Zach Rel Sin was?

01:01:41.000 How do you pronounce his name, Riel?

01:01:43.000 Zach Sin was having a rally, a We the People rally in Philadelphia, where a bunch of boomer conservatives dress up like Ben Franklin and they wave the Constitution around.

01:01:53.000 It's almost kind of like nerdy founding fathers type stuff.

01:01:56.000 Antifa said this was a Proud Boys Nazi rally and it was to celebrate the synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh.

01:02:06.000 What?

01:02:07.000 How is that peak clown world or what?

01:02:10.000 I've said this before.

01:02:12.000 If Nazis, if there was a synagogue shooting in Germany in 1942, the Nazis wouldn't go and have a celebratory rally. 0.59

01:02:20.000 Even the Nazis would go, let's let the dust settle.

01:02:24.000 Let's let it die down a little bit, guys.

01:02:26.000 But in today's clown world, that was the norm.

01:02:29.000 In fact, there was a tweet about it.

01:02:33.000 Yeah, that's the next one right after that.

01:02:35.000 The Proud Boys magazine.

01:02:36.000 Yeah, go to that one.

01:02:37.000 So scroll down.

01:02:40.000 There, that tweet.

01:02:41.000 Malcolm Harris, one week from right now, the Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups are coming to a rally in Philadelphia right outside of the National Museum of American Jewish History.

01:02:50.000 Now, the rally was down here, right?

01:02:53.000 It's the city center.

01:02:55.000 Yes, there's going to be lots of museums and big things.

01:02:57.000 It's about a quarter mile away from the Jewish Museum.

01:03:00.000 But the narrative became they're there to celebrate.

01:03:02.000 This is the fucking insanity we're living in right now.

01:03:05.000 And that morning, I remember the Jewish Museum tweeted out, we're still open, like defiantly standing up for themselves, despite a giant rally to celebrate a synagogue shooting.

01:03:16.000 And you know what else happened that day?

01:03:16.000 What?

01:03:18.000 I just remembered.

01:03:19.000 Two Marines were attacked, pepper sprayed.

01:03:21.000 They were called SPIC and Wetback by Antifa.

01:03:24.000 And those Antifa were arrested and are facing 15 years in prison for attacking Marines they assumed were there for this Nazi rally, which wasn't a Nazi rally at all, and ended up with a brick through Zach's window.

01:03:35.000 But the FBI doesn't list that.

01:03:37.000 And finally, one of the biggest cases of Antifa terrorism was this guy, William Van Spronsen.

01:03:44.000 Now, here on It's Going Down, which is an Antifa website, they murder him and make him into this God who was just trying to, look at that, who was just trying to wreck a car so it couldn't go pick up illegals and deport them and put them in cages.

01:03:57.000 That's all.

01:03:57.000 Really, if you're going to wreck a car, you can just break all, you can just pop the tires with a knife.

01:04:02.000 He had magazine after magazine, round after round of ammunition, because he was going to mass murder ICE workers.

01:04:10.000 This is a group that doxes the homes of ICE workers, threatens them at their facilities.

01:04:16.000 This guy had already been arrested for attacking a cop at this same facility.

01:04:21.000 He was going there to kill dozens and dozens of people.

01:04:24.000 By killing him, they prevented a bloodbath.

01:04:28.000 They prevented bona fide domestic terrorism.

01:04:31.000 The myth of white nationalist terrorism is putting men in jail.

01:04:36.000 It's going to start, it's going to be used to justify a massive roundup of patriots, and it's going to put my two buddies in jail for nine years for defending themselves.

01:04:47.000 You should be wary of white nationalism, not because it's a thing, but because it isn't a thing.

01:04:52.000 I got the friends cause they're green They can't be seen You know, we did, we'll hear it soon. 1.00

01:05:02.000 We still have to edit it, but we had Joe Biggs and Roland Martin on the next free speech.

01:05:08.000 When do you think that's going to be ready, Rag Eye? 1.00

01:05:12.000 For sure this week, maybe, well, this Friday we have Milo and I. No, it should be ready.

01:05:17.000 How long does it take you to do that?

01:05:18.000 It should be like tomorrow.

01:05:20.000 Okay, we could do it.

01:05:21.000 How long does it take?

01:05:22.000 Well, I have a busy night tonight, but I mean, tomorrow night?

01:05:26.000 Yeah.

01:05:27.000 You're just merging the videos.

01:05:28.000 Yeah, you need to do cuts.

01:05:31.000 And you have to work.

01:05:32.000 We're not editing anything out.

01:05:33.000 It has to be 100% live.

01:05:35.000 Anyway, he was saying hate is on the rise in America.

01:05:40.000 You kind of know where he's going to come from.

01:05:41.000 A CNN contributor, Roland Martin, he was wearing this sort of African garb.

01:05:46.000 And I said, okay, why is hate on the rise?

01:05:48.000 And he said, this is a common trope with them.

01:05:52.000 White men see that they're going to be a minority in a long time, by the way. 0.53

01:05:56.000 It's something like 30 years or 20 years or something.

01:06:00.000 And that scares them.

01:06:03.000 Now, the funny thing about that theory, and it is a theory, is I've never heard any white guy mention that ever.

01:06:10.000 And I've never even really thought about it.

01:06:11.000 I clearly aren't worried about the white race if I'm making American Indian kids, right? 0.96

01:06:16.000 Right.

01:06:17.000 But do I like the idea of whites become a minority? 0.78

01:06:21.000 Not really.

01:06:23.000 I don't like the idea of Japan losing Japanese people and it becoming a different culture.

01:06:29.000 I'll have to think about it.

01:06:31.000 It's going to take some mulling over.

01:06:33.000 But to assume that it's this thing where everyone, there's a rise in white nationalism because whites fear they're going to be a minority, it's kind of a crazy theory.

01:06:43.000 And to base your entire ethos on it, the entire election campaign, that whole hate has no home here, is based on the assumption that white nationalism is on the rise.

01:06:54.000 Jesus.

01:06:55.000 With the flubs?

01:06:56.000 The flubs are out of control today.

01:06:59.000 We should do a flub montage.

01:07:02.000 It's just weird.

01:07:03.000 You know what I mean?

01:07:04.000 It's like someone says, it's like someone having a problem with you because they assume you're gay.

01:07:10.000 And you go, but I'm not.

01:07:11.000 And you go, man, I think you are.

01:07:12.000 I saw you kiss Milo.

01:07:14.000 And you're like, yeah, that was to incense Islam. 0.95

01:07:18.000 That was to make terrorists mad.

01:07:20.000 No, I know you are.

01:07:21.000 Okay, put all your eggs in that basket, dummies. 1.00

01:07:24.000 I'm not calling Roland Martin a dummy, but I'm just really confused by that weird theory.

01:07:31.000 And people don't act a certain way because of something that's going to happen in 20 years.

01:07:37.000 I mean, I know everyone I know on the new right is concerned about Trump's reelection.

01:07:42.000 So we don't really think more than November ahead.

01:07:44.000 People don't really think more than a year ahead.

01:07:47.000 So this whole idea that we're concerned about 2040s demographics, have you ever heard anyone say that?

01:07:53.000 Not you, Ryan.

01:07:54.000 You don't talk to anyone.

01:07:55.000 But I've never heard anyone say that.

01:07:58.000 And he says, talk to Pat Buchanan.

01:08:00.000 I don't think I've even heard Pat Buchanan say that.

01:08:02.000 He talks about the West a lot, but I don't think I've heard him talk about the whites being a minority.

01:08:09.000 Anyway, let's talk to Michelle because she's a resident expert on this subject, and she's a woman in a minority, so that's good for our political correct pandering. 0.99

01:08:20.000 Politically correct.

01:08:21.000 It's a nice guy.

01:08:23.000 No more.

01:08:25.000 It's a dream.

01:08:26.000 No more.

01:08:29.000 Michelle, are you there?

01:08:31.000 Hello, Given.

01:08:31.000 I'm here.

01:08:33.000 I'm a Malcontent.

01:08:34.000 That's the name of your fans.

01:08:36.000 That's right.

01:08:36.000 I think Lady Gaga.

01:08:37.000 I think we're going to the diamonds and there's Michelle and the Malcontents. 1.00

01:08:40.000 Yes.

01:08:41.000 Lady Gaga has little monsters. 0.99

01:08:44.000 I think Katy Perry has kitty cats. 0.99

01:08:46.000 Right.

01:08:47.000 We're malcontents.

01:08:49.000 I wanted to tell you about this article that I saw.

01:08:51.000 It really disturbed me.

01:08:52.000 It was the Department of Homeland Security Strategy adds white supremacy in its list of threats.

01:08:59.000 And then in the article, they go on to say that the FBI considers white nationalism a bigger threat than Islam.

01:09:06.000 What say you?

01:09:08.000 You know, the deep, deep, deep state that infests all of these administrative bureaucracies and alarmingly, our law enforcement agencies is like the crud at the bottom of, you know, some really, really nasty toilet and some public space that you just can't scrape away.

01:09:29.000 I mean, or like really bad tartar that you just can't get rid of.

01:09:34.000 And, you know, we had to deal with this under the Obama administration.

01:09:38.000 There was a DHS report that basically said the same thing.

01:09:42.000 And what they were doing was targeting Tea Party activists, pro-lifers, immigration enforcement patriots.

01:09:48.000 And that's what this is again.

01:09:50.000 I mean, and obviously it's targeting groups like the Proud Boys and the Patriot Prayer.

01:09:55.000 And there's no evidence for it.

01:09:58.000 And so we still have mollifying of the likes of care, even though we have President Trump in office.

01:10:04.000 Yeah.

01:10:05.000 Well, I think it's about Trump.

01:10:06.000 I think it's an anti-Trump dictum.

01:10:09.000 Like this one sentence really disturbed me.

01:10:11.000 It said, with a focus on what was called patriot groups that was quickly overshadowed.

01:10:16.000 So they were talking about back during Timothy McVeigh, there was a focus on patriot groups and quotation marks, and now they're back on that.

01:10:24.000 Clearly, they mean anyone who likes Trump is now a white nationalist and is now a domestic terrorist that has to be monitored.

01:10:32.000 Yes.

01:10:33.000 Well, it tells you something about the level of scholarship behind reports like this in that I don't know if you saw the part where they characterized incel as a terrorist movement.

01:10:46.000 Oh, great.

01:10:50.000 That's in there.

01:10:53.000 It's just anti-mail.

01:10:55.000 And the problem is people take this up.

01:10:57.000 Like the jury for the Proud Boys case in New York here, they hear this and they go, oh, geez, we better nip this in the bud and throw those guys in prison so we don't have a radical Nazi movement starting.

01:11:10.000 Yeah.

01:11:11.000 It's a dangerous power grab.

01:11:14.000 It is.

01:11:15.000 And like I said, what's most dispiriting is that this is happening under the Trump administration.

01:11:21.000 And, you know, despite the best efforts of allies and friends of sovereignty and patriotism to get rid of this crusty layer, they haven't succeeded, obviously.

01:11:34.000 And this is right after Trump was saying that he thinks Antifa should be listed as a domestic terror thing.

01:11:40.000 And we had that massive shooting in Ohio with, what was it, 30 people killed?

01:11:46.000 Yeah.

01:11:46.000 34 people killed.

01:11:47.000 That was an Antifa guy.

01:11:49.000 And we totally ignore these Antifa attacks and find, you should have seen this NBC article.

01:11:54.000 I'll send it to you.

01:11:55.000 But they have this picture of like the National Socialist Movement, and it's four guys, Zeke Heiling.

01:12:00.000 I looked up their site.

01:12:01.000 It really is half a dozen guys.

01:12:04.000 And they're dominating the news cycle now as far as the FBI goes.

01:12:08.000 Well, this is everything that your lawsuit against the SPLC is bringing to light.

01:12:12.000 You know, this tactic of taking some random person in Idaho, extrapolating from that and turning it into some sort of concerted movement when, you know, the reality is that it's groups like Hamas and Hezbollah and CARE and of course Antifa now and Abolish ICE, which is increasingly violent, that are the actual organized movements.

01:12:40.000 And I love President Trump and everything that he's doing on sovereignty, but at some point, all of these threats of these designations have to turn into actual action.

01:12:50.000 Otherwise, we're going to see more Daytons, and we're certainly going to see more of what happened at the Tacoma ICE detention facility, where a militant, violent, murder-minded Antifa terrorist tried to firebomb that place.

01:13:03.000 Thank goodness he was shot and killed before anyone was hurt.

01:13:06.000 But his manifesto is out there urging other people to murder ICE agents and their families.

01:13:12.000 And for that matter, anyone who supports ICE and supports immigration enforcement.

01:13:17.000 And it was applauded by many people online and spread on Facebook and Twitter.

01:13:21.000 Yeah, and they said he was just going to hurt a car.

01:13:24.000 Meanwhile, he had magazine after magazine.

01:13:27.000 That was a mass shooting that was prevented.

01:13:29.000 And it doesn't make the FBI stats.

01:13:31.000 They don't list that.

01:13:32.000 Yes.

01:13:33.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:13:34.000 Well, the manipulation of that FBI data, you know, in favor of basically regurgitating SPLC reports hasn't stopped yet.

01:13:47.000 No.

01:13:48.000 I'm going to get kind of Alex Jonesy on you right now.

01:13:50.000 Okay, I can't help but think the death of math is somehow part of this.

01:13:55.000 Like, they're correct.

01:13:59.000 There is more domestic terrorism, I guess, than there is Islamic terrorism in America. 0.65

01:14:04.000 Muslims are 1% of the population, so they shouldn't even be... 1.00

01:14:11.000 Where's the Jewish terrorism? 0.70

01:14:13.000 But people don't understand the term disproportionate.

01:14:16.000 We're in a country that's 75% white.

01:14:18.000 Of course, the majority of crime is going to be white in this country, but they cross that. 0.92

01:14:23.000 And I can't help but think the death of math was sort of planned so they could manipulate stats like this and brainwash into everyone into not knowing what the word disproportionate means.

01:14:34.000 Yes, I think I've talked to you before about how I want to do a documentary on the death of math and the sacrificing of math at the altar of social justice.

01:14:44.000 It really doesn't, it's not just about college.

01:14:47.000 It goes all the way to preschool.

01:14:49.000 And the textbooks were written by University of Chicago education ideologues who were dedicated to this hijacking of public institutions by social justice ideology.

01:14:59.000 And you see the same type of propaganda when it comes to comparing the crime rates of illegal aliens versus American citizens and why we shouldn't be worried about that when, of course, 100% of the crimes committed by illegal aliens are 100% preventable.

01:15:16.000 Remember when Alex Jones was nuts?

01:15:19.000 Remember when conspiracy theories sounded crazy?

01:15:23.000 They really are crushing math.

01:15:25.000 And you'll notice this with liberals.

01:15:26.000 I always do this trick.

01:15:27.000 I say, okay, so say there's 12 million, 30 million.

01:15:30.000 We're disagreeing on that.

01:15:31.000 I think it's 30.

01:15:32.000 You say it's 12.

01:15:32.000 Okay.

01:15:33.000 Tell me what number is too much.

01:15:37.000 And they're allergic to numbers.

01:15:39.000 Like you can say 100 million and they go, well, Nevada is pretty vast.

01:15:42.000 They could squeeze them in Nevada.

01:15:44.000 Yeah.

01:15:45.000 I'm glad you brought up the numbers because I analyzed them in Open Borders Inc.

01:15:45.000 Yeah.

01:15:50.000 That 13 million figure for illegal aliens comes from the Pew Research Center from 20 years ago and hasn't been updated.

01:15:57.000 And in fact, the upwards of 30 million figure that you use and that I use didn't come from right-wing haters and xenophobes.

01:16:05.000 It actually came from Princeton University researchers who, you know, finally included like all of the updated information that you should so that we weren't using some static number that feeds into open borders propaganda.

01:16:19.000 Yeah, the other lie they like to say is that they all come by plane.

01:16:22.000 So a wall isn't going to stop them.

01:16:23.000 No, no, the ones we have on record come by plane.

01:16:26.000 We don't have a record of the hundreds that pour over every single day.

01:16:31.000 Yes, that's absolutely right.

01:16:33.000 40% of the people who are here illegally are, in fact, Visa overstayers.

01:16:38.000 And yes, we have records of them, but then we let them loose and there's no biometric entry exit system for all of those visa holders so that when they overstay their visas and their expiration dates come up, that we can find them and then eject them from the country as we're supposed to do. 0.99

01:16:55.000 So the other 60% obviously are, as you say, are here illegally. 0.81

01:17:00.000 And many of them, of course, we have tracked because they've been through the system.

01:17:05.000 They've been ordered to port it.

01:17:06.000 And then we just let them run loose as well.

01:17:09.000 The only country that does that.

01:17:10.000 I mean, Mexico is harder on their illegals than we are on ours.

01:17:14.000 That is for sure.

01:17:16.000 Well, you're doing the Lord's work, Michelle.

01:17:18.000 And we know you're run ragged there promoting this book, but I just started it last week and it's a masterpiece.

01:17:24.000 Thank you.

01:17:25.000 I appreciate that.

01:17:26.000 I was in Aurora, Colorado this weekend at a stand with ICE rally.

01:17:31.000 Saw one of your proud boys there who stood up and got off the sidelines when this abolished ICE mob had targeted the private home of the facility director of the Aurora ICE Center.

01:17:45.000 And, you know, we're pushing back.

01:17:47.000 And, you know, it's intergenerational.

01:17:49.000 It's beautiful.

01:17:50.000 It's peaceful.

01:17:51.000 And finally, at least, the police officers here are standing up to the mob.

01:17:57.000 And I want to see it spread.

01:17:59.000 I told you, I want this to be a viral movement.

01:18:02.000 Yeah, well, lies run sprints and the truth runs marathons and just marathons.

01:18:06.000 That's right.

01:18:09.000 Michelle, thanks for coming on.

01:18:10.000 Always a pleasure.

01:18:11.000 Thank you, Gavin.

01:18:13.000 My dog picked me on the leg today.

01:18:16.000 My dick has caught my eye.

01:18:20.000 My spin throw out of the snow.

01:18:22.000 Speaking of white nationalists, I forgot to give Tommy shout outs when he got out of jail.

01:18:28.000 That was a very big deal.

01:18:30.000 I forgot because I keep trying to get him on the show.

01:18:32.000 He's obviously very busy running around.

01:18:34.000 I spoke to him today.

01:18:35.000 I'm trying to get him on freespeech.tv.

01:18:38.000 He said he'll think about it once a week, just like Joe Biggs.

01:18:41.000 Wouldn't that be cool?

01:18:42.000 That would be cool.

01:18:43.000 Big British flag behind him.

01:18:44.000 British update.

01:18:45.000 I wonder if he knows that that stupid Bruce Sprinkstein movie where the Indian guy is obsessed with the boss and he goes to Aspury Park and stuff and he gets spat on by a Nazi skin. 0.97

01:18:58.000 I wonder if he knows that that movie took place in Luton.

01:19:02.000 Luton, which is 55% Muslim now.

01:19:06.000 And if anyone's getting their face spat on, it ain't no Indians. 0.92

01:19:11.000 Yeah.

01:19:12.000 That place is totally overrun by brown people. 1.00

01:19:15.000 And the movie's all about how hard it is to be brown in Luton.

01:19:18.000 Try being white in Luton.

01:19:21.000 Try being Tommy Robinson in Luton.

01:19:23.000 Or a woman. 0.78

01:19:26.000 Try to not get raped there.

01:19:28.000 That's a bad scene.

01:19:29.000 Actually, I don't know how rape is. 1.00

01:19:31.000 But anyway, Tommy, I wanted to get him on to talk about this.

01:19:34.000 Might get him on tomorrow.

01:19:35.000 But the second he gets out, nothing's changed for him, by the way.

01:19:39.000 He's still under attack constantly.

01:19:40.000 And this Muslim is talking about how he's going to kill Tommy. 1.00

01:19:44.000 Murder him and his family.

01:19:46.000 He tells the police.

01:19:47.000 This is a country, by the way, where you get jailed for making a rude joke about Nelson Mandela on Twitter.

01:19:53.000 So they're police, thousands of arrests, thousands of arrests based on Twitter jokes.

01:19:59.000 But someone makes a bona fide, credible threat, which is illegal everywhere.

01:20:03.000 Here in America, we don't, bona fide, believable, credible threats, we don't include that in free speech.

01:20:10.000 The law doesn't include that in free speech.

01:20:12.000 That's a death threat.

01:20:13.000 That's a whole different ball of wax.

01:20:15.000 If the Crips, the head of the Crips says, kill Ryan Katsu Rivera, here's where he lives.

01:20:21.000 That's illegal because it's plausible.

01:20:24.000 You notice I said him and not me in this.

01:20:26.000 Anyway, oh, a lot of rapes. 1.00

01:20:28.000 A lot of rapes.

01:20:29.000 Cab driver rapes. 0.83

01:20:30.000 A lot of raping.

01:20:31.000 They're coming for evil predators.

01:20:32.000 Two women raped by a Luton guy.

01:20:35.000 Another taxi driver.

01:20:36.000 That's a year apart.

01:20:37.000 So it's different.

01:20:39.000 That's crazy.

01:20:40.000 I think they only have like nine police.

01:20:42.000 This is a different one.

01:20:44.000 Taxi driver from Luton, 2007.

01:20:46.000 Anyway.

01:20:46.000 Oh, no, no, this is the same one.

01:20:47.000 And then this one's fun.

01:20:48.000 Homeless man jailed for Christmas rape in Luton.

01:20:51.000 So Tommy's back in Luton where, no, it's not Nazi skin head spitting.

01:20:55.000 It's people threatening his wife and kids.

01:20:57.000 So he goes to the guy's house several times.

01:21:01.000 And it's in the notes, Ryan.

01:21:02.000 Jump ahead.

01:21:05.000 He goes to the guy's house and says, what are you doing threatening my family?

01:21:11.000 Until the guy calls the police.

01:21:13.000 And then when the police show, he goes, good.

01:21:16.000 I'm glad you're here.

01:21:17.000 this is right after a fucking a robots Here it is. 0.95

01:21:25.000 I have.

01:21:27.000 I'll show you the phone calls, yeah?

01:21:28.000 I've rang the police again multiple times today.

01:21:31.000 I rang him just 20 minutes ago.

01:21:33.000 I rang him three hours ago.

01:21:34.000 Got through to the copper.

01:21:35.000 Sergeant, what's going on?

01:21:36.000 Oh, yeah, I'll get hold of the officer in the case now.

01:21:39.000 The officer in the case now.

01:21:41.000 So again.

01:21:42.000 We have an officer on the case?

01:21:44.000 What?

01:21:45.000 What reason?

01:21:46.000 The man who's threatening to kill my kids and my mum and my wife is behind this door.

01:21:51.000 He's now hiding.

01:21:52.000 He's turned his lights off.

01:21:56.000 And he's hiding in his house.

01:22:01.000 Vic Berger, a proud boy came to his house to say, he thinks I set it up.

01:22:06.000 But this is what happens when you threaten people.

01:22:10.000 People come over to your house and go, what are you doing?

01:22:12.000 This isn't a random doxing.

01:22:14.000 If you get people hurt and you're threatening people's lives, and Vic Berger editing in a crying child accusing Mike Cernovich of beating his kid, you're going to get people attracted to your location.

01:22:24.000 And they're going to come by and say, wait, what are you doing?

01:22:26.000 What's happening here?

01:22:28.000 It's called doorstep.

01:22:29.000 Imagine a white bloke, yeah, specifically, making racial comments.

01:22:34.000 Because in his video online, he says he's going to kill any English person he finds.

01:22:37.000 What's the stop him walking outside here if he is mentally ill and stabbing and killing any English person that he finds?

01:22:43.000 Let alone saying he's going to murder my wife.

01:22:45.000 I've had to go for meet and stay at my children's schools and talk to their teachers about him.

01:22:51.000 Oh, there you go.

01:22:53.000 The door's opening.

01:22:55.000 About this man here saying he's going to kill him all.

01:22:58.000 Say he's going to kill my family.

01:23:01.000 So.

01:23:02.000 Wait, the door's opening?

01:23:06.000 I think it's three days.

01:23:07.000 What's wrong with him?

01:23:08.000 He started making these threats three days ago.

01:23:10.000 He doesn't come out.

01:23:11.000 Anyway, update coming soon.

01:23:14.000 He's in there.

01:23:16.000 So does this This is how Tommy protects his wife and kids.

01:23:23.000 He has to go to the murderer's home to get the police to come because they're there to arrest him.

01:23:29.000 The neighbor saw him today.

01:23:35.000 It's really, you got to get to the part where the kind says to him, you shouldn't have done this.

01:23:40.000 This is not how you handle it.

01:23:41.000 And he goes, actually, it is.

01:23:43.000 It worked.

01:23:44.000 Six hours ago, I've rang the police officer.

01:23:45.000 I've got a recording of it again, asking, what?

01:23:48.000 Just nick him.

01:23:48.000 Six hours ago.

01:23:49.000 No, no.

01:23:51.000 Just pause for a sec.

01:23:52.000 Yes, it was six hours ago, but he'd been calling the police for days.

01:23:55.000 Oh, shit.

01:23:56.000 This threat is ancient.

01:23:57.000 Crazy.

01:24:02.000 I've been advised by the police to go and speak to school.

01:24:04.000 The police have been trying to find out where I am for two days.

01:24:07.000 They're trying to find me.

01:24:08.000 Go up to the cops.

01:24:09.000 They should be trying.

01:24:11.000 When I take my kids to school tomorrow, I'm not watching out for some bloke with a knife.

01:24:13.000 I'm saying you're being threatened about this gentleman.

01:24:15.000 You want to dig it back a little bit?

01:24:16.000 Yeah.

01:24:17.000 You've been threatened by this gentleman.

01:24:18.000 We come here.

01:24:19.000 Yeah.

01:24:20.000 Officer, he's just been arrested now.

01:24:21.000 Yes.

01:24:22.000 So because we come here, they've run him, now he's been nicked.

01:24:26.000 The gentleman has been arrested for the allegation you've told us about.

01:24:29.000 Brilliant.

01:24:30.000 That's it.

01:24:30.000 That's all I want to know.

01:24:31.000 But do you know it is pretty bad?

01:24:31.000 That's all.

01:24:33.000 Don't you think it's pretty bad that I've had to come to his house before they used to get him?

01:24:36.000 I'm not having to go to you.

01:24:38.000 I'm not having you.

01:24:39.000 Can I just say, in future instances, you come down here, it's just going to make the situation worse.

01:24:39.000 I'm just saying.

01:24:44.000 You've nicked him.

01:24:44.000 No, it's not.

01:24:45.000 It's not worse.

01:24:45.000 I'm going to go home.

01:24:46.000 My wife's going to sleep very well tonight.

01:24:48.000 You come in here, it's just going to make the situation worse.

01:24:50.000 No, it's not.

01:24:51.000 You've nicked him.

01:24:52.000 It made the situation better.

01:24:53.000 Now my wife's going to sleep well at night. 1.00

01:24:56.000 As Ezra Levant points out, Britain is a dystopian time machine where you can see what we're going to be like in five years.

01:25:03.000 All right.

01:25:05.000 Pretty heavy show.

01:25:06.000 Sorry, folks, but that Department of Homeland Security thing really fucking got my feathers ruffled.

01:25:11.000 And I think we can lighten it up with the mailbag.

01:25:14.000 Okie dokie.

01:25:21.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:25:26.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:25:31.000 Let me touch it.

01:25:32.000 I don't like seeing the player there.

01:25:34.000 Me neither.

01:25:35.000 I hate it.

01:25:35.000 Why do you do that?

01:25:36.000 I had to rush it up.

01:25:40.000 You can tell by the notes that mailbag's next.

01:25:42.000 It says Tommy Robinson.

01:25:43.000 We have been following the notes.

01:25:46.000 All these have been going very unsequentially.

01:25:48.000 I've been jumping around a lot.

01:25:50.000 Hey, Gav, a while ago, you made a video that had the song Bamboo by Heinz in it.

01:25:56.000 Heinz were called the Deers, but the Deers are a Montreal band, though it's spelled differently, who enforced copyright on them and made them change the name to Heinz.

01:26:06.000 I think both of the front women in that band deserve a spot on your list of hot chicks. 1.00

01:26:10.000 Would love to hear your thoughts.

01:26:13.000 Are they traditional beauty or are they gross babes? 1.00

01:26:16.000 The problem with women in bands is they're two points more attractive because they're playing instruments and stuff. 1.00

01:26:21.000 Go back to the beginning.

01:26:26.000 Can I just say that go ahead?

01:26:33.000 they're kind of hiding themselves with fast edits They're knockouts.

01:26:52.000 All right, so let's stop.

01:26:54.000 Stop.

01:26:55.000 No, no, pause it, I mean.

01:26:56.000 Oh.

01:26:57.000 I want to rate them.

01:26:58.000 So the one with the small face closest to me, the whole band is making her an 8, but I know she's not an 8.

01:27:06.000 If it was your friend's girlfriend, you'd go, oh, she's sweet. 1.00

01:27:08.000 She's 7.7.

01:27:10.000 But the band makes her an 8.

01:27:11.000 And I would say it's the exact same with the other one.

01:27:14.000 Maybe the one with the little face is an 8.1, and the one with the bigger chin is an 8.

01:27:19.000 What do you think?

01:27:20.000 You're so cruel with your ratings, by the way.

01:27:23.000 I'd say 7.6 for the one on the right.

01:27:27.000 What do you mean one on the right?

01:27:28.000 The one closest to me?

01:27:29.000 6.9 for the one on the left.

01:27:31.000 6.9?

01:27:32.000 Yeah, 6.9.

01:27:34.000 Fuck you.

01:27:35.000 You're an idiot.

01:27:36.000 Nah.

01:27:37.000 6.9?

01:27:39.000 I get the uniqueness stuff, but these are great.

01:27:42.000 That's not a 6.9, dude.

01:27:43.000 On the right.

01:27:44.000 You like that?

01:27:45.000 Which is the right?

01:27:46.000 That looks like a witch. 1.00

01:27:47.000 This one?

01:27:48.000 You think she's a 6.9? 1.00

01:27:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:50.000 Look at her face.

01:27:50.000 Well, that's a bad freeze.

01:27:52.000 Keep playing it.

01:27:53.000 Okay, it looks like my aunt Colleen or something.

01:27:57.000 No, you're mental.

01:27:58.000 It's a great song.

01:27:58.000 Play the music.

01:28:18.000 I think they're Spanish.

01:28:19.000 I think they're from Barcelona.

01:28:23.000 I think they would be like 9 out of 10 fun.

01:28:27.000 Now, you piss me off of that 6.9 shit.

01:28:29.000 But visually, the only question is from 7 to 8.1.

01:28:32.000 You leaving the 7 and going into 6 land is just irritating. 0.84

01:28:36.000 Yeah, she's 6.9-ish. 0.98

01:28:38.000 But, you know, when I see those girls too, it makes me love women so much. 1.00

01:28:42.000 This is what I think trannies see that and they go, I want that. 1.00

01:28:46.000 You can't have that.

01:28:48.000 Girls are fun. 1.00

01:28:49.000 Girls are different. 1.00

01:28:50.000 Girls aren't boys. 0.99

01:28:53.000 It's not something you can acquire.

01:28:55.000 And if you're gay, then it's not something you can be. 0.97

01:28:58.000 They're just cool, awesome chicks from Barcelona who nap in the day because they have a siesta. 1.00

01:29:04.000 But it reminds me of that other band, Haim.

01:29:06.000 Those Jewish girls who grew up in LA. 0.53

01:29:08.000 They are Jewish, aren't they?

01:29:09.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:11.000 Is that name Jewish?

01:29:12.000 It sounds like it's Jewish.

01:29:15.000 Oh.

01:29:17.000 But these girls, they're what I call gross babes, where they don't have standard beauty, but you find yourself really attracted to them. 1.00

01:29:30.000 So doesn't that make someone a 7.9, even if they're a 6.9?

01:29:34.000 Like, she could be a 6.9 if she was a cunt, but because she's a singer of a band, I think it makes her a 7.9. 1.00

01:29:40.000 She bypasses the scale.

01:29:42.000 Yeah.

01:29:47.000 Yeah, there's something.

01:29:48.000 And you know what's cool?

01:29:49.000 Because those three girls have been best friends their whole lives, they're really together individuals.

01:29:55.000 So like when you date her and stuff, she's just a rock.

01:29:57.000 You know what I mean?

01:29:58.000 Girls with a bunch of sisters, they just seem so sure of themselves.

01:30:03.000 They're the least crazy bitches you can date. 1.00

01:30:08.000 That being said, gentlemen, do not date a girl in a band.

01:30:12.000 Sorry.

01:30:13.000 Do not date anyone in Heinz and don't date anyone in Haim.

01:30:18.000 You know why?

01:30:20.000 Because she will cheat on you. 1.00

01:30:21.000 You have to understand that everywhere they go, guys are drooling, dying to fuck them.

01:30:28.000 Eventually, there's going to be a lapse.

01:30:30.000 Eventually, she's going to have one too many margaritas and she's going to open her legs and you're going to be cheated on. 1.00

01:30:36.000 So let those go.

01:30:38.000 Unless you're Matthew McConaughey.

01:30:39.000 Wow, they are very unusual looking.

01:30:42.000 That video was about eight years old, so there's a lot of different hams out there.

01:30:42.000 Yeah.

01:30:50.000 They kind of remind me of Bruce Willis's daughter with the weird head.

01:30:58.000 Wait, let me see.

01:30:59.000 I would like to see that.

01:31:01.000 What are you going to call them all?

01:31:02.000 Fives?

01:31:03.000 No, they're not fives, but they're like, Oh, yeah.

01:31:08.000 Rumor will.

01:31:09.000 Yeah, she does have that. 0.96

01:31:10.000 I have a rumor vibe.

01:31:11.000 Yeah, but she's got nicer skin. 1.00

01:31:14.000 That's not a good picture, that one in the middle.

01:31:16.000 And that one on the left looks like she has plastic surgery. 1.00

01:31:19.000 Anyway, they're all pretty deceptive.

01:31:20.000 She's a fucking radium. 1.00

01:31:21.000 All right, the one on the left right there.

01:31:21.000 We got to get on with the show.

01:31:23.000 Stop saying left.

01:31:24.000 What does left mean?

01:31:25.000 The left most on the screen.

01:31:26.000 I mean, left is left.

01:31:27.000 Right is right.

01:31:28.000 Middle is middle. 0.72

01:31:29.000 According to them, you mean the leather jacket?

01:31:30.000 That's left?

01:31:31.000 Yes.

01:31:32.000 Leather jacket, what do you got?

01:31:32.000 Okay.

01:31:34.000 That's 6.3.

01:31:38.000 What?

01:31:40.000 What about her special?

01:31:42.000 What about her special?

01:31:43.000 Or good.

01:31:44.000 Okay, keep go back to that original picture.

01:31:46.000 All right.

01:31:46.000 That's terrible.

01:31:47.000 And the one in the middle?

01:31:48.000 I'm being generous with that one.

01:31:49.000 One in the middle is like, What?

01:31:54.000 You're all over the map.

01:31:56.000 You think the one in the jacket is 1.5 uglier than the one in the middle?

01:32:01.000 you're just Look at her cheeks.

01:32:04.000 I'm never asking you.

01:32:06.000 First of all, she has no lips.

01:32:07.000 You're fired.

01:32:08.000 You're fired from chicks. 1.00

01:32:09.000 And look at her thick eyebrows and her snoozy eyes. 1.00

01:32:13.000 She sucks. 0.99

01:32:14.000 I'm sorry.

01:32:14.000 She sucks.

01:32:15.000 And I don't know.

01:32:15.000 She's weird.

01:32:16.000 The one on the right, what's she?

01:32:17.000 A 2?

01:32:18.000 A 9?

01:32:18.000 I don't know anything anymore.

01:32:20.000 No, she's like a... 1.00

01:32:27.000 You're a gay. 1.00

01:32:27.000 Shut up. 1.00

01:32:28.000 What would you rate them?

01:32:29.000 You're a gay. 1.00

01:32:30.000 You know you never rated them?

01:32:31.000 Okay.

01:32:32.000 The one in the jacket, again, I'm remembering that she's in an awesome band and she's totally together as a person.

01:32:37.000 So I'm doing the whole package.

01:32:39.000 7.4.

01:32:41.000 The one in the middle, 7.1.

01:32:44.000 The one in the end there, 7.1.

01:32:48.000 7.

01:32:50.000 And you went same.

01:32:52.000 All girls in bands are 7s, basically.

01:32:55.000 Except for that fat girl. 1.00

01:32:56.000 I think you're rating blows.

01:32:58.000 Well.

01:32:58.000 Yeah.

01:33:00.000 Do you think the one in the middle is less hot than the one in the leather jacket?

01:33:03.000 Yes.

01:33:04.000 No, you don't.

01:33:05.000 And your voice cracked.

01:33:06.000 You don't think that.

01:33:08.000 Look at the voice crack because I'm so scared of you.

01:33:08.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:33:10.000 No, because you can't lie with confidence.

01:33:14.000 But the one on the left.

01:33:15.000 The one on the left could be a supermodel. 0.99

01:33:18.000 I don't think you're seeing well.

01:33:20.000 Go look at a different picture, too.

01:33:22.000 I'm familiar with the band.

01:33:24.000 That's the one with the buck teacher.

01:33:25.000 I've been following the band for eight years now.

01:33:27.000 That's like the brunette. 1.00

01:33:29.000 Oh, because maybe because she's usually a brunette. 1.00

01:33:32.000 She was the one we just saw singing, by the way.

01:33:34.000 The front girl.

01:33:37.000 Why are we doing this?

01:33:39.000 Stop.

01:33:40.000 They're just all right.

01:33:40.000 I don't know.

01:33:41.000 You're annoying me.

01:33:43.000 Subject.

01:33:44.000 Rambo is going to be awesome.

01:33:46.000 You know how I know Rambo is probably an awesome movie?

01:33:49.000 This is from a guy Kyle.

01:33:54.000 Variety Magazine says it's another cruel and ugly showcase of xenophobic carnage.

01:34:01.000 And the screenwriters, quote unquote, adopt the racist view of Mexicans as murderers, drug dealers, and rapists.

01:34:09.000 Yeah, this is where we're at now.

01:34:11.000 Like the last episode of Kirby, the last season of Kirb Your Enthusiasm did terrible with the critics.

01:34:17.000 And I realized it's because there was a fatwa out on him.

01:34:20.000 And they thought that was Islamophobic.

01:34:22.000 It was probably the best season ever.

01:34:24.000 He gets, what's his name?

01:34:26.000 Salmon Rushdie on the show.

01:34:28.000 And they talk about fatwa sex, where girls want to fuck you more when there's a fatwa out on you. 1.00

01:34:32.000 Is there another sitcom on earth that would dare think of fatwa sex? 1.00

01:34:36.000 Brilliant!

01:34:38.000 Anyway, I'm at the point now where I see critics give a movie a bad review, and I know it's a good movie.

01:34:44.000 Do you have the trailer?

01:34:45.000 We already showed the trailer for that.

01:34:46.000 I can't wait.

01:34:47.000 Is it in theaters?

01:34:49.000 I don't think it's in theaters yet.

01:34:50.000 Let me see.

01:34:51.000 September 20th.

01:34:52.000 It did come out three days ago.

01:34:54.000 Great.

01:34:55.000 Can't wait to check it out.

01:34:56.000 All right.

01:34:56.000 Isn't one of the arguments why women are coming here to escape drug dealers and murderers?

01:35:03.000 And so portraying Mexicans as drug dealers and murderers.

01:35:07.000 We should do a whole other show on the types of people that are going across the border.

01:35:10.000 He wasn't talking about Mexicans when he said they're not sending their best.

01:35:13.000 He was talking about the types of people who cross the border illegally.

01:35:16.000 And this idea that it's women and little children, no, they bring children because that's helpful when you get arrested. 1.00

01:35:23.000 You pretend it's your child.

01:35:24.000 And by the way, these children get raped regularly.

01:35:28.000 Secondly, the Mexican government has been pretty forthwith about the fact that they like to export their criminals. 0.89

01:35:35.000 It's cheaper than jail.

01:35:37.000 So they push their criminals to the border.

01:35:39.000 They help them.

01:35:40.000 They give them comic books that explain how to do it.

01:35:43.000 It's part of their population control.

01:35:48.000 Family separation.

01:35:50.000 You know what you should say to a liberal when they bring up the cages and all that shit?

01:35:52.000 Say, okay, tell me what to do.

01:35:55.000 A family comes through, a sweet, gorgeous little family with little kids.

01:35:59.000 What was that again?

01:36:00.000 Go back?

01:36:01.000 They're doing DNA testing to see if, like, because there's so many fake kids.

01:36:06.000 Not real kids, frankly.

01:36:08.000 Next letter.

01:36:11.000 Hey, Gavin, I'm from England.

01:36:12.000 I'm 17.

01:36:13.000 I've read your book, The Death of Cool, and me and my friend are determined to have party days reminiscent of your own.

01:36:17.000 However, we're struggling with one crucial detail.

01:36:20.000 How the fuck do you get girls to fuck you? 1.00

01:36:22.000 None of us are virgins, but we're in a dry spot at the moment.

01:36:24.000 I've tried being realistic with my options, but I'm getting frustrated.

01:36:27.000 I'm worried I'm going to end up like those loser millennials that don't have sex till they're 25. 1.00

01:36:31.000 Please help.

01:36:32.000 Thanks.

01:36:32.000 Calem.

01:36:33.000 Calem, you got to lie a little bit.

01:36:36.000 All's fair in love and war, but you got to be ruthless.

01:36:39.000 And 17 is a tough age because women haven't really developed strong libidos yet. 1.00

01:36:44.000 Even in their 20s, they're not like genuinely horny.

01:36:47.000 They're more like, let's just fuck because that's what you do.

01:36:51.000 And it will help our relationship.

01:36:52.000 But I don't think they lust until they're over 25.

01:36:56.000 And then they really start getting good at it, if you will, in their 30s and 40s.

01:37:01.000 So the only way you're going to get into 17-year-old's pants, and again, I'm only recommending this for 17-year-olds, is to pretend you love her and that you're the one and this is going to be special.

01:37:12.000 And then once you get that over with, you can keep moving.

01:37:14.000 I know it's horrible, but it's the only way.

01:37:14.000 I'm sorry.

01:37:17.000 And fathers, tell your daughters about this.

01:37:20.000 Tell your daughters that not only do boys lie, but they lie to themselves.

01:37:25.000 So I remember being that age, and when I told her that this is love and this is going to last, I meant it because I brainwashed myself.

01:37:34.000 So, gentlemen, be ruthless, and ladies, be dubious.

01:37:37.000 Now, when you get older, there's a whole other way to pick up chicks, and this is well documented in my hip movie, How to Be a Man.

01:37:43.000 You have to be a fun guy, you call them up with something to do.

01:37:46.000 Hey, we're at a party, we're going to a thing, there's always an event, so you're fun, but you don't want to end up in the friend zone.

01:37:52.000 So, very early in the game, you have to establish, holy fuck, you're so fucking beautiful.

01:37:56.000 I cannot believe it.

01:37:58.000 You're my exact type.

01:37:59.000 Like, you must have a flaw.

01:38:01.000 Do you have like ugly feet or something?

01:38:02.000 Because I'm looking at my type from the dictionary.

01:38:06.000 And then once you've done that, then when you get her back to your house, you will just start hitting on her because you made it clear that was your intention from the beginning.

01:38:14.000 The worst part about just, hey man, everything's cool.

01:38:17.000 I don't want to necessarily want to fuck you.

01:38:18.000 I'm just a buddy.

01:38:19.000 The problem with that attitude when you go 100% that way is you get her back to your house and you're laughing.

01:38:29.000 And then you come like, and she just naturally sort of goes, it sucks, and you need to avoid it.

01:38:37.000 All right, next letter.

01:38:39.000 Joni Mitchell in Blackface.

01:38:41.000 Gavin, the exchange with you and Ryan about Joni Mitchell's Blackface Nom de Plume was unintentionally hilarious.

01:38:46.000 Oh well, I'll take it.

01:38:48.000 Art Nouveau is apparently the actual name Joni chose for her alter ego.

01:38:54.000 So Ryan, while habitually in the fog, had it right when he cited it to you.

01:38:59.000 Your insistence that he was wrong and your attempt to educate him on movements in schools of art just piled on the comedy.

01:39:05.000 It's a great routine.

01:39:06.000 You guys need to keep this one going.

01:39:11.000 Ryan?

01:39:12.000 Yes.

01:39:13.000 You said that that character's name is Art Nouveau.

01:39:16.000 Yes.

01:39:17.000 told you you were wrong.

01:39:18.000 And it turns out that I was in fact whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

01:39:26.000 You were just about to apologize.

01:39:27.000 happened?

01:39:28.000 I...

01:39:29.000 Yes?

01:39:29.000 Was...

01:39:31.000 Okay, we got that for our last time.

01:39:32.000 Rawr.

01:39:43.000 You can't say that you're wrong?

01:39:45.000 I can and I will.

01:39:46.000 I will proudly admit to the folks at home and to you that I was...

01:39:54.000 You holding back a sneeze?

01:39:57.000 You're roaring like a dino.

01:39:59.000 Like a dinosaur.

01:40:00.000 Now you're retching.

01:40:01.000 I just dry heaved for real.

01:40:02.000 That's real brazen.

01:40:04.000 Can you find this font saying he's wrong?

01:40:08.000 Oh, I said it.

01:40:09.000 I'm going to have to edit that together.

01:40:10.000 I'm going to have to patch that.

01:40:11.000 Edit that in post.

01:40:13.000 Yes.

01:40:14.000 Nice catch. 0.96

01:40:16.000 I was sure it was zip something.

01:40:18.000 Gavin, the exchange with you and Ryan about Oh wait, Maryse, read that one.

01:40:28.000 I was in.

01:40:28.000 I was not exactly right.

01:40:30.000 What do you mean not right?

01:40:32.000 I mean not right.

01:40:35.000 I don't get you.

01:40:37.000 You mean you were wrong?

01:40:40.000 You can't even hear it.

01:40:41.000 Yeah, that's right, Malf.

01:40:42.000 I was what you just said I was.

01:40:44.000 You know what he was wrong about?

01:40:46.000 He told Ralph Malf to join the army and go fight in the Korean War.

01:40:46.000 What?

01:40:52.000 He almost killed Ralph Malf.

01:40:54.000 Hey, G-Dog, I know it liked to joke that Ryan is a fag because he cries over you breaking his Buzz Lightyear dolly, but I was watching some of your old videos for the Rebel, and it sounds like you used to think he was actually gay.

01:41:03.000 See the link below.

01:41:06.000 I remember this.

01:41:08.000 A semi-reach out from David Cross's wife, Amber Tamblin, and during the whole incident on the bus, the vulgar joke on the bus.

01:41:17.000 And she goes, how do you feel living in Trump's America?

01:41:19.000 I think she did an article recently where she goes, raising a daughter in Trump's America makes me more resolute feminist or something. 1.00

01:41:25.000 I said, it's just a joke.

01:41:26.000 And she goes, but you have a daughter, has someone with a daughter, and that makes me blow my top. 0.60

01:41:31.000 945, I'm asking.

01:41:31.000 It's a good idea.

01:41:33.000 And I think that's part of what they're trying to do.

01:41:35.000 Why was it time coded completely different places?

01:41:38.000 Oh, I see, okay.

01:41:40.000 I see him every day at work.

01:41:41.000 He's a wonderful dude.

01:41:43.000 And I've got all my proud boy pals like Dante Nero, John Thaddeus, Hassan, Yosef, Amish Patel, my Muslim pals, Ali Hassan, my gay pals, Pax Hart and Chadwick Moore, Ryan Katsu Rivera, and of course Milo.

01:42:03.000 I can't list any more celebrities.

01:42:05.000 That's really annoying graphics.

01:42:07.000 Yeah, who did that?

01:42:08.000 I think that was John Fattygate back in the day.

01:42:10.000 Was it Fattygate or was it?

01:42:11.000 That's a compound.

01:42:12.000 So John...

01:42:16.000 Sereno, yeah.

01:42:16.000 Sereno.

01:42:17.000 Johnny Sereno.

01:42:18.000 You know what's weird?

01:42:19.000 I assume that was just kidding.

01:42:20.000 Yeah.

01:42:21.000 I don't even remember that.

01:42:22.000 Yeah, I brought it up to you before, but no, it was actually said in joke form.

01:42:22.000 You don't?

01:42:26.000 It's like the rule of threes.

01:42:27.000 It's like, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, da, ba, ba.

01:42:29.000 And then you cover it up with another one.

01:42:30.000 But yeah, I guess people.

01:42:31.000 I think I was joking.

01:42:32.000 I don't remember.

01:42:33.000 It hurts my feelings.

01:42:34.000 I don't remember ever thinking you were gay.

01:42:35.000 Right.

01:42:36.000 So I think I was just making fun of you.

01:42:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:42:38.000 But it went past my radar and somebody brought it up to me, and I laughed very hard at that.

01:42:38.000 I thought that was fun.

01:42:42.000 Hey, Gavin, whiskey has been my drink of choice the last couple years, and I need some tips from the expert.

01:42:45.000 Is it gay to get the one big ice cube when drinking a whiskey on the rocks? 0.97

01:42:49.000 No, it is not gay.

01:42:50.000 It's actually much more convenient because the ice cube goes, touches your mustache, and then you can just...

01:42:57.000 I'm dying for a drink or a cigar or something.

01:43:00.000 That just made me drool.

01:43:02.000 You know, the other end of the spectrum is a bunch of little ice, and that mixes with your drink.

01:43:07.000 It dilutes it, and then it gets in your mouth when you sip it.

01:43:09.000 You got to have little lips. 1.00

01:43:10.000 So yeah, the bigger the better.

01:43:13.000 Why drink Makersmark over Woodford Reserve or Bullet?

01:43:16.000 I find them all equally good.

01:43:17.000 I find Maker's Mark's a little sweeter, but Woodford Reserve is fantastic, and so is Bullet.

01:43:22.000 Although I don't like the Bullet Rye.

01:43:24.000 I'm not a Rye guy.

01:43:26.000 Does all Canadian whiskey suck?

01:43:28.000 I don't know much about Canadian whiskey.

01:43:29.000 I kind of got into bourbon after moving to the States, so I don't even know what Canadian whiskey is.

01:43:36.000 What's Canadian whiskey?

01:43:38.000 I believe Seagram's, Seagram 7.

01:43:41.000 Oh yeah, that would come in that plush purple bag.

01:43:43.000 We used to keep our marbles in that bag when we were kids.

01:43:46.000 Wait, I think that's Crown Royal.

01:43:47.000 Crown Royal, right?

01:43:48.000 Hypothetical.

01:43:49.000 You can drink for free for the rest of your life, but you can only drink blackberry margaritas.

01:43:52.000 Would you take the deal?

01:43:53.000 Absolutely not.

01:43:53.000 First of all, I'm rich, so I don't care about money.

01:43:55.000 But secondly, I have my drinks, and when they're not there, I just, Like my dad left two Coors Lights in the fridge, and I ran out of bud the other night, and I just saw them, and it might as well have been calm.

01:44:07.000 I was just like, oh, well, I don't have any beer.

01:44:10.000 Coors Light tastes to me like wet cardboard.

01:44:13.000 And if I'm on a plane and I'm dying for a bourbon, they often have Woodford reserves, by the way.

01:44:17.000 Yeah, they do.

01:44:17.000 But I go, Can I get some bourbon?

01:44:18.000 They go, We have Jack Daniels.

01:44:21.000 No, thank you.

01:44:21.000 I just won't drink.

01:44:22.000 I used to love it.

01:44:23.000 Yeah, I can't do it.

01:44:24.000 I can't not have my drink.

01:44:25.000 I'd rather do Jameson over Jack Daniels.

01:44:28.000 I used to love Jack Daniels.

01:44:31.000 All right, we're running out of time here.

01:44:32.000 Let's just do one more.

01:44:33.000 Hey, Gav, would you please address the fact that the Nazis were leftists?

01:44:37.000 Yeah, I mean, I know that.

01:44:40.000 And today with that anti-sorry, that white nationalist video, they're called the National Socialists.

01:44:46.000 And the Department of Homeland Security's takeaway is the nationalist part.

01:44:51.000 Why does anyone talk about the socialist part?

01:44:53.000 I'm so tired of left-wing SGWs labeling regular Republicans as Nazis.

01:44:58.000 They really go to their way to portray us this way with the fake Zeke Heil photos.

01:45:01.000 I think Antifa needs to be shown the mirror. 0.97

01:45:04.000 Here's a good pre-Trump article that seems to get more accurate over time.

01:45:07.000 And it was Obama, Hitler, and the exploding, and exploding the biggest lie in history. 0.80

01:45:12.000 Of course, Dinesh D'Souza is the master at this.

01:45:15.000 And wasn't it a Republican Party that freed the slaves? 0.73

01:45:17.000 I like you more than a friend, Chris.

01:45:20.000 Yeah.

01:45:21.000 Okay, let's end the show, guys.

01:45:24.000 Should we do the black man seeing fried chicken or the couple banging in the tub? 0.91

01:45:28.000 Let's do both.

01:45:29.000 Yeah, these are cool.

01:45:30.000 Now, imagine Fox News did this.

01:45:32.000 They did, and CNN did, and that's why it's not ever going to go anywhere.

01:45:35.000 But CNN, I like when my head is in this box.

01:45:38.000 CNN had a black guy on the show, and they decided it would be a good time to show him some fried chicken.

01:45:44.000 No way.

01:45:45.000 Hillary Clinton says that Trump's campaign is appealing to a fringe in the Republican Party that is racist.

01:45:51.000 I wanted to listen to part of her speech with you and then get your reaction.

01:45:54.000 So here it is.

01:45:55.000 Shoot.

01:45:56.000 I am the extra Whoa.

01:46:02.000 And my extra crispy And he says, extra crispy cake.

01:46:08.000 Absolutely not.

01:46:09.000 We were going to play them.

01:46:10.000 He said, I'm the crispy, extra crispy curler.

01:46:13.000 Same guy that another viewer asked us about if it was racist because they colored his skin darker.

01:46:17.000 Yeah, and they said he's extra crispy.

01:46:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:46:19.000 That is hilarious.

01:46:20.000 I think Joe brought that up.

01:46:21.000 It was MSNBC, not CNN.

01:46:23.000 But yeah, you could never, if Fox News did that, you'd never hear the end of it.

01:46:26.000 Remember when the Straight Pride Parade guy said, we are racist instead of not racist?

01:46:32.000 He made a typo, and it was a Twitter moment, and everyone was like, that was the biggest publicity they got.

01:46:36.000 This goes back to what I'm saying about politics as fashion.

01:46:40.000 They don't care about the truth.

01:46:42.000 It's just about their team winning.

01:46:45.000 It's got nothing to do with politics.

01:46:47.000 It has everything to do with trends and what's hot.

01:46:50.000 And right now it's hot to pretend everyone is a fucking not. 0.65

01:46:53.000 See?

01:46:54.000 All right, let's see.

01:46:55.000 Watch some couple banging.

01:46:56.000 Oh, warning, by the way.

01:46:57.000 X-rated stuff coming up.

01:47:00.000 What the frick?

01:47:02.000 What's the matter?

01:47:02.000 It won't load?

01:47:03.000 I'm seeing a new load.

01:47:05.000 Oh, because it's pornographic?

01:47:08.000 I've seen porn.

01:47:08.000 I don't know.

01:47:10.000 Yeah, I've seen pornographers.

01:47:11.000 This is strange.

01:47:13.000 It was working before.

01:47:14.000 They moved.

01:47:15.000 Is it taking it down?

01:47:16.000 So it was an office, and across the way, they could see a couple in their bathroom, and they were having sex with the curtains open, and you could see the guy shagging it from behind, and they were all laughing their heads off in the office.

01:47:29.000 That happened to me once.

01:47:30.000 We were shooting a movie, my movie that's, oh, it was Creative Control.

01:47:34.000 The movie Creative Control.

01:47:36.000 We were shooting that movie, and we had to be there at like five in the morning on Saturday, and there was a guy who had come home from clubbing all night, and we watched him get fallated.

01:47:46.000 He ate a cheeseburger, then she blew him under the table, and then he went to work, so I guess he didn't sleep at all.

01:47:53.000 And she just lounged around his apartment.

01:47:56.000 It was like a form of prostitution. 1.00

01:47:58.000 I think I found it in a different area.

01:48:02.000 Okay.

01:48:04.000 Okay.

01:48:05.000 Let's see what you got.

01:48:06.000 Come on, Johnny.

01:48:08.000 They're laughing their heads off.

01:48:10.000 I don't know if I would laugh.

01:48:12.000 I think I would just sit there being a creep, staring.

01:48:15.000 Going, oh, that's cool.

01:48:19.000 Jesus, this is great.

01:48:27.000 Are they exhibitionists, do you think?

01:48:29.000 Or do they not know what's happening?

01:48:31.000 I think they have to know that there's the risk of that happening.

01:48:34.000 I've done that twice?

01:48:38.000 Have you ever done something like that?

01:48:40.000 Like with those big windows?

01:48:41.000 No, that looks like a cool way to fornicate, though.

01:48:43.000 Yeah.

01:48:43.000 There's a day bed.

01:48:44.000 There's a bathtub there.

01:48:45.000 Oh, is that a bathtub?

01:48:46.000 I thought there was a day bed.

01:48:47.000 Well, no.

01:48:47.000 Where's his legs?

01:48:48.000 On the other side of the...

01:48:53.000 Oh, yeah, he's sitting on a couch.

01:48:55.000 Yeah.

01:48:56.000 Oh, okay.

01:48:57.000 That's not as fun.

01:48:58.000 Yeah.

01:48:59.000 Man.

01:49:00.000 Kind of an eventual position, though.

01:49:02.000 That's fun.

01:49:02.000 Because why would they have the bathtub right there with the...

01:49:10.000 You should get fired.

01:49:11.000 You should get in trouble.

01:49:12.000 You should be brave.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 23, 2019

S02E62 - POLITICS AS FASHION

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript