Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E64 - IMPEACH WHO?

00:00:04.000 Mel that must dial Surprise, surprise, so you're rubber live from New York.

00:00:16.000 Get off my lawn with Kevin McKinnon.

00:00:23.000 Ducks categorize us as our prize.

00:00:27.000 That's that was the Urban Dance Squad.

00:00:34.000 Big band in the 90s.

00:00:36.000 I kind of am going off the New Kingdom thing I did yesterday where I'm remembering early days in the 90s when I cared about new music.

00:00:46.000 They were from Utrecht, which is a great, it's one of my favorite cities in the world.

00:00:49.000 It's right next to Amsterdam, but it's got none of the Amsterdam tourism.

00:00:53.000 So there's no, it's not like a bunch of frat boys there getting wasted.

00:00:58.000 It's everything that's great about Amsterdam, but in a beautiful little quaint village.

00:01:04.000 You know, the bikes and the canal and all that awesome Dutch stuff.

00:01:08.000 These guys were huge.

00:01:09.000 They had five albums.

00:01:11.000 They're not Americans. 1.00

00:01:12.000 I don't know why...

00:01:20.000 He's Dutch.

00:01:22.000 Rude Boy Remington is the guy rapping.

00:01:26.000 And they did a lot of different types of music too.

00:01:28.000 They did metal, they did funk, they did everything.

00:01:31.000 When grunge got big in the mid to late 90s, or mid 90s, I guess, early 90s, they tried to go more grunge and it didn't work.

00:01:39.000 But they got some fast jams too.

00:01:41.000 Anyway, great band.

00:01:43.000 And I can play them on the show because I talk about them.

00:01:45.000 We've got a wonderful episode here for you.

00:01:48.000 We're going to talk about Trump.

00:01:49.000 I'm going to break down this whole thing about impeaching Trump.

00:01:53.000 And I'm going to include Obama spying on Trump because it might be a pube off topic, but it just shows that the whole allegation here is that Trump is not above the law.

00:02:02.000 Yet the DNC has been behaving like they are above the law for the past 10 years at least.

00:02:10.000 I'm also pushing Brooks brothers now.

00:02:13.000 I think I might be getting too old for Fred Perry.

00:02:15.000 I think a father of three should wear Brooks brothers.

00:02:19.000 So I bought about six of these.

00:02:21.000 And you know what's great about them is you can wash the shit out of them and dry them and they don't change.

00:02:27.000 Fred Perry's shrink.

00:02:29.000 That they do.

00:02:31.000 Maybe I should get rid of this stuff.

00:02:33.000 Because if I'm sitting here, it looks like I have a growth hanging out of my ear.

00:02:41.000 Some new revelations that have happened since we last spoke to you.

00:02:44.000 Nikki Glazer is X'd.

00:02:46.000 We are dumping Nikki.

00:02:47.000 She's no longer in the...

00:02:53.000 Do you want to just show your face for a second?

00:02:56.000 Sure.

00:02:58.000 We've been marketing.

00:02:59.000 So Ryan here was astute enough to notice that Trump was totally different in the 80s, totally different personality.

00:03:08.000 So we thought, let's use this to make commercials.

00:03:11.000 So we made a commercial for free for stone defensefund.com that will be airing for you today, so you can see.

00:03:19.000 It's a great fund.

00:03:20.000 Another change I want to do, besides Brooks Brothers, and I'm going to do a huge green screen on this bullshit.

00:03:28.000 I'm also going to start watching the final videos at the end of the show with the green screen so we can sort of point to stuff.

00:03:34.000 And then I'll come back here and say goodbye.

00:03:38.000 So yeah, I heard Nikki Glazer on Howard Stern and she said, they said, should Shane Gillis have been fired?

00:03:43.000 And she said, yes.

00:03:45.000 And I said, no, you're dumped.

00:03:48.000 We're done.

00:03:48.000 I don't love you anymore.

00:03:50.000 We need to start seeing other people.

00:03:55.000 What did she say about it specifically?

00:03:57.000 Did she say what she said?

00:03:57.000 She said, if I had said something like that, I'd expect to be fired.

00:04:01.000 Again, and this sort of goes back to the Trump thing.

00:04:04.000 No one ever knows the exact thing that happened.

00:04:07.000 So they'll go, oh, he was racist?

00:04:09.000 Okay.

00:04:09.000 Well, then he shouldn't have done that, and you can't be racist.

00:04:12.000 Well, no, he wasn't running a Klan rally.

00:04:14.000 He was joking about how Chinatowns are spontaneous, and they were making fun of people who see Chinatown appear, and he goes, yeah, they're like, these chinks just showed up. 1.00

00:04:22.000 So there's a great argument that he was lampooning racism.

00:04:27.000 I'm looking at an ex-girlfriend right now.

00:04:28.000 That's how I feel.

00:04:29.000 You ever see her feet?

00:04:31.000 No.

00:04:31.000 You'd be happy that she's your ex.

00:04:34.000 Why?

00:04:34.000 Are they famously gross?

00:04:36.000 Yep.

00:04:37.000 See, that's not too crazy, right?

00:04:39.000 That's fine.

00:04:40.000 They're just bunions.

00:04:40.000 Okay, what about those?

00:04:42.000 Whoa.

00:04:43.000 How does that do for you?

00:04:44.000 Whoa.

00:04:45.000 Those are her feet. 0.99

00:04:48.000 You need surgery.

00:04:52.000 A revolver.

00:04:54.000 Why wouldn't you get surgery?

00:04:56.000 Does she talk about it?

00:04:58.000 Do you get that from wearing high heels too much?

00:05:00.000 I don't know.

00:05:01.000 No, I don't think so.

00:05:03.000 Because why would the bone grow?

00:05:04.000 No, how often would you have to wear high heels?

00:05:07.000 I don't know.

00:05:07.000 It'd be years.

00:05:08.000 All right.

00:05:09.000 Well, then I'm glad we've broken up.

00:05:10.000 Yeah, she's dead.

00:05:11.000 By the way, this is how you break up with a chick. 1.00

00:05:13.000 You sit down and you go, I have a five-hour bummer sesh coming up.

00:05:17.000 And you say, this isn't working out.

00:05:19.000 Then she cries and you sit there and you hear her argument and you've always lied to me, blah, blah, blah.

00:05:24.000 And you just wait it out.

00:05:27.000 And this is what I tell guys who are going, I don't know how to do this, man.

00:05:31.000 And there's pussy moves you can do, like leave a message on her machine, which I did once and have regretted ever since, or ghosting her is another pussy move. 1.00

00:05:38.000 You just sit down and you go, I have one to five hours of shit I'm about to go through.

00:05:44.000 Saturday's gone.

00:05:46.000 But guys work in the sewers.

00:05:48.000 You know what a rat king is?

00:05:50.000 Yes.

00:05:51.000 It's when all their tails get intertwangled and they block the sewers.

00:05:56.000 So you have like a nest of dead rats that have tied.

00:05:59.000 I don't even know if it's true or if it's an urban myth.

00:06:02.000 I've never heard it was an urban myth, but.

00:06:04.000 Okay, but anyway, they have to go in there and pull out dead giant rats, probably get bitten, and they come home and they wash themselves off.

00:06:12.000 They wash the shit off their legs and they go home to their families. 0.96

00:06:15.000 So you can be uncomfortable for a few hours to dump a bitch who sucked her dick 10 million times. 1.00

00:06:22.000 Luckily, Nikki and I don't have to go through that because she didn't know we were dating.

00:06:28.000 Also in the news, since I last spoke to you, Also, from listening to Stern, I'm listening to Nick Cannon this morning and Robin says, Are you ever going to get married again?

00:06:38.000 By the way, you know what else I saw on that show?

00:06:39.000 What?

00:06:40.000 Heard on that show?

00:06:41.000 Nick Cannon quit AGT because they wouldn't let him wear a turban.

00:06:46.000 You know how he likes wearing turbans?

00:06:48.000 Yeah.

00:06:48.000 Is there anything more ridiculous than that?

00:06:50.000 Oh, you might have the clip.

00:06:52.000 It didn't occur to me that the clip would be online.

00:06:55.000 Yeah, turban. 0.97

00:06:58.000 What a weirdo.

00:06:59.000 What a weirdo.

00:07:02.000 Yeah, Howard Stern's got it right.

00:07:04.000 Oh, he's finally doing a bit?

00:07:07.000 Are you conspiring?

00:07:09.000 I'm sorry, there's something else going on here.

00:07:12.000 By the way, that turban look that he's got on, that is a woman's look. 1.00

00:07:17.000 Oh, that's a female turban? 1.00

00:07:18.000 Yeah, this is sort of like...

00:07:20.000 Remember that dude...

00:07:22.000 Yeah, Sway with MTV news.

00:07:25.000 Hey, Sway. 0.99

00:07:26.000 Yeah.

00:07:26.000 The thing you have on your head with your dreads up and a big thing.

00:07:29.000 What about it?

00:07:30.000 That's female. 1.00

00:07:32.000 That's what African and Caribbean women do. 1.00

00:07:35.000 Come on, bro.

00:07:36.000 You see this too with Krusty Punks?

00:07:37.000 They get this Maori tattoo that's like a chin thing.

00:07:40.000 Yeah, that's Maori women saying they're married. 1.00

00:07:43.000 You might as well have a red dot on your forehead.

00:07:45.000 Like, check in on the culture you're co-opting.

00:07:48.000 So I've noticed Sway hasn't done it in a while.

00:07:51.000 Maybe he heard me and realized that he's dressed in drag.

00:07:54.000 Now he wears one with a little.

00:07:55.000 He's in African drag. 1.00

00:07:57.000 I'm not talking about that.

00:07:58.000 It's when he has the big blanket, African blanket on his head. 1.00

00:08:01.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:02.000 Anyway, it looks like Nick Cannon is wearing a woman's turban. 0.98

00:08:08.000 Men don't wear it.

00:08:09.000 Like, Sikhs wear turbans, but they're bigger than that. 0.97

00:08:12.000 What's up?

00:08:13.000 You, yeah.

00:08:14.000 You had that shit on your head, though.

00:08:16.000 A turban? 0.99

00:08:17.000 Why are you calling it shit?

00:08:18.000 You're wearing it.

00:08:19.000 You don't take yours off.

00:08:19.000 Gary's got his on.

00:08:20.000 That's a bottle of water.

00:08:21.000 Oh, my.

00:08:22.000 That's a booing. 0.98

00:08:24.000 Very fucking funny.

00:08:26.000 I need you to feel it, though.

00:08:28.000 What's wrong with my turban, man?

00:08:29.000 Your turban is fucking amazing.

00:08:33.000 I think you're inspiring.

00:08:34.000 Your turban look like Nicki Minaj's ass. 1.00

00:08:36.000 Ha, ha, ha.

00:08:40.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:08:42.000 Anyway, so Robin says to him, Robin, are you going to get married again?

00:08:47.000 He was married to Mariah Carey.

00:08:49.000 And he goes, nah, nah, nah.

00:08:51.000 He goes, that's not for me.

00:08:52.000 That's not for us.

00:08:53.000 He goes, that's a European construct that was done to help parcel different various pieces of land and show ownership on a person and their land.

00:09:02.000 And it's post-agriculture among the fertile crescent of Europe.

00:09:06.000 And it is a European construct that doesn't belong to me.

00:09:09.000 And when he said me, he meant Africans.

00:09:11.000 And then he goes, I'm tribal.

00:09:13.000 I'm a tribalist.

00:09:15.000 And I was listening to it going, yeah, whatever.

00:09:17.000 Like, Chinese people don't have marriage. 1.00

00:09:19.000 But I thought, can you fucking imagine if I said that?

00:09:25.000 If I got up on stage and said, the Negro can't handle marriage.

00:09:29.000 It's a European thing.

00:09:31.000 Black people are more tribalist, and they have trouble with the concept of marriage. 1.00

00:09:37.000 It has to do with agriculture and other things.

00:09:40.000 And it's not really designed for them.

00:09:41.000 It's designed for us Europeans.

00:09:43.000 I mean, there'd be riots in the streets.

00:09:45.000 It'd be a whole different story.

00:09:46.000 This is what I've noticed moving to America, is that blacks can say things that whites can't. 1.00

00:09:52.000 And I know that's a cliché, but when you come from another country like I do, like Britain and Canada, it's much more glaring.

00:09:58.000 Like I came from Quebec.

00:10:00.000 French people and English people were not friends.

00:10:03.000 And there was a lot of voluntary segregation there and fist fights in school.

00:10:09.000 But French people didn't have a different set of rules.

00:10:12.000 French people couldn't say certain things and they could say certain things.

00:10:15.000 And it didn't matter if you were French or English.

00:10:18.000 Both sides had things they couldn't say.

00:10:20.000 You couldn't say the N-word.

00:10:21.000 Negre, I believe, is the French version of that word.

00:10:25.000 But here in America, you go, oh, it's a totally different set of standards.

00:10:29.000 That's racist.

00:10:31.000 That's the bigotry of low expectations.

00:10:34.000 All right.

00:10:35.000 Also in the news, we forgot Greta Thunberg's spooky face she made when Trump walked by.

00:10:42.000 It's ancient news now.

00:10:43.000 It's at least three days old, but we would be remiss if we didn't at least include it.

00:10:47.000 For future generations, say someone discovers this show in a time capsule.

00:10:53.000 We have to make sure we've included everything relevant, right?

00:10:56.000 Like, say Trump gets shot on a Friday and we don't shoot till Monday.

00:11:00.000 We still have to mention it.

00:11:01.000 What's going on?

00:11:02.000 It won't play?

00:11:03.000 It's this player.

00:11:05.000 God, anything non-YouTube gives a really hard time in full screen.

00:11:10.000 Do Trump the entire episode.

00:11:12.000 Okay, I have no problem doing Trump.

00:11:14.000 Frankly, I could do young Trump or old Trump or whoever you'd like.

00:11:17.000 Don't go full screen then if it causes problems.

00:11:21.000 frankly.

00:11:22.000 In fact, I love I like when you show a bunch of crap like that.

00:11:30.000 People can go look it up on their own.

00:11:32.000 Dude, it's way easier.

00:11:33.000 That's what usually takes so long because I have to do this.

00:11:35.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:11:37.000 But now it won't play?

00:11:38.000 And then when it's not zoomed out.

00:11:39.000 Yeah, but it's not playing anymore.

00:11:40.000 No, no, no.

00:11:42.000 Anyway, you can find that.

00:11:43.000 But the Greta Thunberg thing is fascinating because she's such an obvious trap. 1.00

00:11:49.000 And what she does, it's sort of like Pete Buttigag, right?

00:11:51.000 They sent him out there hoping we'd call him a fag. 1.00

00:11:54.000 And we didn't, which pissed them off.

00:11:56.000 And now what they do is they send out this little girl and they hope we go, what a stupid bitch. 1.00

00:12:01.000 And they go, that's a child, you pig. 0.81

00:12:04.000 And she is a stupid bitch. 1.00

00:12:08.000 Oh, who's here?

00:12:12.000 She looks like a fucking cartoon. 1.00

00:12:14.000 Yeah, she really does.

00:12:15.000 A garbage pail.

00:12:16.000 She's a brat. 1.00

00:12:17.000 She's a crying brat. 1.00

00:12:18.000 Yes, I'm insulting a child.

00:12:20.000 You're the ones who put her out there.

00:12:23.000 Who is that?

00:12:23.000 You know who else uses child, children in war?

00:12:27.000 Radical Islam. 0.99

00:12:28.000 I think it was Iran, maybe during the Iranian Revolution in 1979.

00:12:33.000 They'd put these plastic keys around children's necks and send them into battle.

00:12:37.000 And the keys get you into the gates of heaven after you get killed.

00:12:40.000 So it's good if you get killed.

00:12:41.000 Go out there, go out there.

00:12:42.000 And of course, the soldiers shooting them were dying of guilt because they couldn't handle it.

00:12:47.000 Oh, this looks fun.

00:12:51.000 This is when the next episode kicks in.

00:12:57.000 You know what's happening now?

00:12:58.000 We initially invited women into the foray and said, you're part of the group.

00:13:02.000 And we got Ankolter and Malkin and informed women.

00:13:04.000 Now it's just all kinds of bratty cunts. 0.95

00:13:08.000 So we're getting into mean girl high school stuff.

00:13:12.000 We are in the movie Mean Girls now, and we have bratty little bitches making cunty faces at the president because they're not happy. 1.00

00:13:21.000 Look up, see if you can find this picture.

00:13:23.000 It's Greta Thunberg's parents and her all wearing Antifa shirts.

00:13:28.000 It's like a converse logo, but it says antifasciste.

00:13:32.000 If you are putting your daughter into the fray like this and putting her up against the president of the United States, you're a shitty person.

00:13:39.000 And I'd go even farther and say, if you put your kid in the movies, then you're a shitty person.

00:13:46.000 There's his parents.

00:13:47.000 Her dad's a famous Swedish academic dick.

00:13:53.000 Her parents are rich.

00:13:54.000 Academic.

00:13:55.000 I know what you're saying.

00:13:56.000 What about Soph?

00:13:57.000 Aren't you exploiting her?

00:13:58.000 Soph is not being sent all over the world to represent the entire left.

00:14:04.000 She does videos for us that she was doing elsewhere.

00:14:08.000 She's self-aware, doesn't cut school.

00:14:10.000 She's self-aware, doesn't cut school.

00:14:12.000 She's not marching all over the world.

00:14:13.000 And she's not in this sort of public forum the way that this Greta Thunberg is. 0.98

00:14:19.000 When she complains about, I should be back home, it's like, well, the people that aren't climate change people aren't telling you to talk.

00:14:28.000 It's the climate change people that are telling you to talk.

00:14:30.000 And here's another kind of a doozy.

00:14:32.000 She's not mentally ill.

00:14:34.000 Greta Thunberg is mentally ill.

00:14:37.000 That's not an opinion.

00:14:38.000 That's not an insult.

00:14:41.000 It's a fact.

00:14:42.000 But our buddy Michael Knowles, who we should get on the show, let's get Michael Knowles on the show, if not today, tomorrow.

00:14:46.000 Okay.

00:14:47.000 Michael Knowles was on Fox News, and he dared to describe her as a mentally ill Swedish girl, which is a hate fact.

00:15:01.000 Hello?

00:15:03.000 Oh, is there supposed to be like, hate fact, fact, fact.

00:15:06.000 Okay.

00:15:07.000 Aren't you supposed to be Trump all day?

00:15:09.000 Yeah, there was a Echo Trump.

00:15:13.000 Okay, let's play it.

00:15:15.000 The hysteria movement is not about science.

00:15:19.000 If it were about science, it would be led by scientists rather than by politicians and a mentally ill Swedish child who is being exploited by her parents and by the international left. 0.59

00:15:29.000 So what you're hearing here is a political movement and a religious movement, and it's fulfilling.

00:15:35.000 I don't, that's Chris Hahn.

00:15:36.000 He's often on Tucker.

00:15:38.000 He's anyone's dog for a bone.

00:15:39.000 No one listens to his show.

00:15:43.000 And I don't think he knows that Greta Thunberg is genuinely mentally ill.

00:15:48.000 And I don't think he's ever heard of Michael Knowles.

00:15:50.000 This is not uncommon with the left.

00:15:51.000 They're very parochial, very insular.

00:15:56.000 Religious political goals of the left, but it isn't doing very much for science.

00:16:00.000 Chris, you had a visceral reaction to that.

00:16:02.000 Go ahead.

00:16:04.000 Yeah, I mean, you're a grown man and you're attacking a child.

00:16:07.000 Shame on you.

00:16:08.000 She's trying to attack the left for explaining the microphone. 1.00

00:16:12.000 Relax, skinny boy.

00:16:13.000 I got this.

00:16:14.000 Okay, you're attacking a child.

00:16:17.000 He can't see Michael's body.

00:16:20.000 So I think he's remarking on Michael's head.

00:16:24.000 He was skinny head.

00:16:26.000 Skinny head.

00:16:29.000 That reminds me of the book Gig, which I have here somewhere, where this bartender was talking about skinheads who invaded her bar on Avenue A. And she said, then they're coming in.

00:16:40.000 The skinny heads came in.

00:16:42.000 They're trashing my bar.

00:16:44.000 He's a skinny head.

00:16:45.000 Let's call him skinny head from now on.

00:16:47.000 Grown man, have some cup.

00:16:49.000 I'm not.

00:16:50.000 I'm attacking the learner.

00:16:53.000 Maybe on your podcast, you get away and say whatever you want because nobody's listening.

00:16:57.000 You're on national television.

00:16:58.000 Be a grown-up.

00:16:59.000 Just talking about children.

00:17:01.000 Harris Faulkner probably gets 500,000 viewers.

00:17:08.000 Daily Wire, I would say, gets the same.

00:17:13.000 So this guy, Chris Hah, doesn't realize that Michael Knowles has got a very popular show on Daily Wire.

00:17:20.000 And I looked up their Twitter because I had a feeling that Chris Hah doesn't have a life outside of Tucker and Fox News as the liberal punching bag.

00:17:28.000 I think Twitter followers are a relatively reasonable metric.

00:17:31.000 Even if Rush Limbaugh never tweeted ever, he'd probably have several hundred thousand just because of who he is.

00:17:37.000 Chris Hahn has 16,000 followers.

00:17:40.000 Got 18 now.

00:17:41.000 Oh, 18.

00:17:42.000 And Michael Knowles has about 200,000.

00:17:45.000 So Michael Knowles has approximately 10 times the Twitter followers that Chris Hahn has.

00:17:52.000 Forgive me if I don't assume that that means more people listen to Michael Knowles than Chris Hahn.

00:18:01.000 Anyway, play a little more of it.

00:18:05.000 She's trying to save the planet because your president doesn't believe in climate change and kids need to take to the streets to worry about their future. 1.00

00:18:13.000 You are despicable for talking about her like that and you should apologize on national television right now.

00:18:19.000 I think the international left and her parents who are exploiting a girl with many mental illnesses.

00:18:24.000 You called her mentally ill.

00:18:26.000 Take it back now.

00:18:27.000 She is taking it back now.

00:18:28.000 She is mentally ill. 0.73

00:18:29.000 She has picat disorder.

00:18:30.000 She has obsessive compulsive disorder.

00:18:32.000 She has selective mutism.

00:18:34.000 She had depression.

00:18:36.000 Her mother wrote it.

00:18:38.000 You see what's going on there, too?

00:18:39.000 As he hears Michael Knowles say autism, selective mutism, she was suicidal.

00:18:44.000 I believe she has Asperger's.

00:18:46.000 As Knowles was smart enough to already know all the diseases, you can see Chris Hahn go, uh, oh, she's literally mentally okay.

00:18:53.000 I thought you were more like when Gavin says that trans are just mentally okay.

00:18:58.000 You're sort of using it as a general blanket, but you mean literal diagnosed mental illnesses.

00:19:03.000 And the mom wrote about it.

00:19:04.000 When haters go after your looks and differences, it means they have nowhere left to go.

00:19:08.000 And when they know you're winning, I have Asperger's, and that means I'm sometimes a bit different from the norm.

00:19:13.000 And given the right circumstances, being different is superpower.

00:19:16.000 Asper power. 1.00

00:19:17.000 Yeah, it is a superpower.

00:19:18.000 Like, say, when her mother dies, she'll probably empathize less and be less grief-stricken because she has more sociopathic tendencies.

00:19:26.000 Counting toothpicks.

00:19:27.000 Oh, my mother is no longer available because She has passed into another world.

00:19:31.000 I may join her as I have discussed suicide in the past.

00:19:34.000 Now, I thought this was an interesting article in Daily Mail where they go, I'm really worried about her.

00:19:41.000 The 16-year-old Swedish environmental activist went head-to-head with President Donald Trump, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:46.000 And then they have this world-renowned psychologist who says, I'm worried that we use a kid like this, who arguably should be getting better treatment because she said she's had anorexia, said she's got Asperger's, and said she battled depression.

00:20:02.000 This is a guy, by the way, who supports climate change and thinks that it's bad.

00:20:09.000 You know what?

00:20:10.000 Let's try getting rid of these.

00:20:11.000 This is a picture of my wife and I before we had kids in St. Martin.

00:20:16.000 We rented a boat that day and spent tons of money.

00:20:19.000 Makes me happy to see.

00:20:23.000 This is some kind of a raccoon skull, I think.

00:20:27.000 And this.

00:20:29.000 I think this is a coyote skull or maybe a fox skull.

00:20:33.000 Those are gone now, folks.

00:20:34.000 My head is now what goes in that hole.

00:20:40.000 Also in the news.

00:20:41.000 Oh, wait, wait.

00:20:42.000 Speaking of Mean Girls culture and how we're just dealing with a bunch of snarky bitches, check out Rashida Talib. 1.00

00:20:49.000 Now, I don't trust this vape shit going on.

00:20:51.000 This smells of corporate interference.

00:20:53.000 I'm suspicious of tobacco companies really pushing this jewel epidemic where everyone's dying of vaping.

00:21:00.000 I hate vaping.

00:21:01.000 I don't allow it in the studio.

00:21:02.000 It tastes like burnt raspberries.

00:21:05.000 But I like that people have the right to smoke, and I don't like the war on smokers.

00:21:11.000 So check out.

00:21:16.000 So that's sort of ancillary to what I'm talking about.

00:21:19.000 So check out Rashida Talib talking to this vape woman like a bitchy sorority sister. 1.00

00:21:25.000 Does it start at the beginning or time code?

00:21:26.000 No, I think I time coded it correctly.

00:21:29.000 Porter, I was breathing because I want to know more about you and your beliefs.

00:21:33.000 And I respect that.

00:21:34.000 We all have different beliefs.

00:21:36.000 But you call yourself a converted conservative and reformed Marxist.

00:21:41.000 Are you a conspiracy theorist?

00:21:44.000 I think my politics are entirely irrelevant to this hearing.

00:21:47.000 Oh, okay.

00:21:48.000 Why were you winking at one of my colleagues on the other side of the aisle?

00:21:51.000 You winked.

00:21:52.000 Because I know Glenn Grothman.

00:21:53.000 Oh, that's what.

00:21:54.000 So the winking, did he?

00:21:55.000 He introduced me.

00:21:56.000 He's a friend of mine.

00:21:57.000 Okay, I understand.

00:21:58.000 I didn't know what the winking was because I thought maybe there was something like a conspiracy thing going on there.

00:22:04.000 I didn't know.

00:22:05.000 Do you think there's a conspiracy in this hearing, ma'am?

00:22:07.000 No.

00:22:08.000 I actually think people are speaking truth here, and you can provide information.

00:22:13.000 May I address the truth?

00:22:14.000 No, no, no.

00:22:15.000 Well, the truth to you is very different for the majority of people in this room who do believe that children are being...

00:22:25.000 You're still smoking.

00:22:26.000 I'm not smoking.

00:22:29.000 Thank you.

00:22:29.000 And I'm not lying under oath.

00:22:31.000 Order, please.

00:22:32.000 Enough.

00:22:33.000 Does that sum it up or what?

00:22:36.000 I actually feel like I'm being too flattering when I say a high school cafeteria.

00:22:40.000 That's a junior high cafeteria.

00:22:45.000 Were you just winking at my boyfriend? 0.88

00:22:47.000 She's mental.

00:22:48.000 What the fuck was that?

00:22:49.000 I was winking because I know him.

00:22:51.000 We're friends.

00:22:52.000 Oh, you're friends, are you?

00:22:53.000 Max, are you friends with her?

00:22:55.000 Well, yeah.

00:22:56.000 My sister and her played softball.

00:22:58.000 Oh, you played softball, did you?

00:22:59.000 I know what you two are doing, you fucking bitch. 1.00

00:23:02.000 You bitch. 1.00

00:23:06.000 She's a loon, this Talib. 0.98

00:23:08.000 Tlaib.

00:23:10.000 We're going to start seeing Republicans getting their faces scratched.

00:23:13.000 This is a great picture.

00:23:13.000 Yeah, look at her.

00:23:15.000 She's a crazy. 1.00

00:23:16.000 This is what I used to say about the left.

00:23:16.000 Oh, my God.

00:23:19.000 Remember, I said they're maniacal or juvenile.

00:23:24.000 And then I said, you know what?

00:23:26.000 Let's stop calling it fake news.

00:23:27.000 Let's call it crazy ex-girlfriend news.

00:23:30.000 I prophesized this.

00:23:32.000 Look at her.

00:23:32.000 Oh, my God.

00:23:33.000 She is a crazy ex-girlfriend. 1.00

00:23:34.000 The sex wasn't even that great.

00:23:37.000 And you're just looking at her when she bangs on your front door, your building, and your doorman calls you going, what is going on, Mr. McInnes?

00:23:43.000 You go, just don't answer the door.

00:23:46.000 Mr. McInnes, people have to leave and come in out of the building.

00:23:48.000 She's been here all day.

00:23:50.000 Call the cops.

00:23:51.000 I don't know.

00:23:52.000 Is that her crying? 0.70

00:23:53.000 Sure is.

00:23:54.000 She's a crazy ex-girlfriend. 1.00

00:23:56.000 We should do a green screen video about this.

00:23:59.000 Yeah.

00:24:02.000 Way to go.

00:24:04.000 Way to go.

00:24:04.000 Way to not just allow women to get into the political field, but to force them into the political field, even when they didn't really feel like it.

00:24:12.000 All right.

00:24:13.000 Final story before we go to really break down this impeachment is actually no.

00:24:22.000 Let's have some fun.

00:24:23.000 Okay.

00:24:24.000 Let's show your commercial for Roger Stone.

00:24:28.000 All right.

00:24:29.000 And bump time.

00:24:30.000 We call it road rock, but it's a deeper shade of soul.

00:24:34.000 Deeper shade of soul.

00:24:37.000 Deeper shade of soul.

00:24:39.000 So when it comes to impressions, there's really two Trumps.

00:24:42.000 Is that correct?

00:24:43.000 Yeah, there's the 1980s Trump where he's just kind of...

00:24:50.000 Show is 80s Trump.

00:24:51.000 Oh, you want to see it?

00:24:52.000 Yeah.

00:24:53.000 Oh, yeah, 80s Trump is like kind of a quieter type of guy, you know, frankly.

00:24:57.000 He talks about a lot of things.

00:24:59.000 You know, frankly, addressing Roger Stone, you know, he was a very brilliant strategist.

00:25:03.000 A lot of people aren't quite brilliant the way he is, but he got the job done.

00:25:07.000 He did a tremendous job for Reagan.

00:25:07.000 He went in there.

00:25:09.000 And frankly, I think he's going to do really good jobs for George W. Bush also.

00:25:14.000 Are you thinking of running for president, 80s Trump?

00:25:17.000 No, and Roger Stone has actually brought that to my attention.

00:25:19.000 He would be my running mate and help support my campaign.

00:25:23.000 And frankly, it's not something I'd really want to do right now.

00:25:26.000 There's a lot of people that could do the job, but I frankly don't think I would do the job.

00:25:29.000 There's a lot of people that could do it, but I just hope they'd do a good job.

00:25:32.000 Okay, so now let's go to 2019.

00:25:34.000 He's much more...

00:25:38.000 He's super bombastic and loud and very insulting.

00:25:45.000 He likes insulting people.

00:25:46.000 Can I just introduce hands?

00:25:49.000 How Asian is either of these guys?

00:25:52.000 Not Asian at all, basically. 1.00

00:25:54.000 Okay.

00:25:54.000 Just had to jump in there.

00:25:55.000 So why would that be?

00:25:56.000 Let's just curious.

00:25:57.000 Okay.

00:25:57.000 So let's hear 2019 Trump As opposed to the sort of quiet guy from the 80s.

00:26:02.000 Well, hands on the podium, first of all.

00:26:02.000 Right.

00:26:05.000 Very handsy.

00:26:06.000 Gonna want to squeeze the torso with the. 1.00

00:26:09.000 almost like a golf swing.

00:26:11.000 So that's the physical aspect.

00:26:13.000 But let me tell you about Roger Stone.

00:26:16.000 They've pilloried Roger Stone, vilified him, tried to destroy him.

00:26:21.000 They're doing their best to take him down.

00:26:24.000 And why?

00:26:25.000 Because an email, out of millions of emails, he might have said something to Julia Assange.

00:26:31.000 Julian Assange, great guy about that.

00:26:32.000 No, he said he didn't get an email from Julian Assange, but he did.

00:26:35.000 So he forgot about an email.

00:26:37.000 Forgot about one email.

00:26:40.000 Imagine all the emails out there.

00:26:42.000 He didn't do a Hillary where she deleted 30,000 of them.

00:26:47.000 We hate her, don't we?

00:26:49.000 She's really crooked, really gross. 1.00

00:26:51.000 He'll walk away from the podium.

00:26:53.000 She's really gross. 1.00

00:26:54.000 And everybody goes wild.

00:26:57.000 Point at people.

00:26:59.000 Didn't they send more people to Rogers House than Osama bin Laden, Donald?

00:27:04.000 It looked like a James Bond villain capture.

00:27:08.000 Really crazy stuff, folks.

00:27:10.000 Boats, helicopters, you name it.

00:27:12.000 The whole works.

00:27:14.000 Really crooked stuff.

00:27:15.000 Real creepy.

00:27:17.000 So why are the two Trumps so different, 80s and 2019?

00:27:20.000 Well, I think it's because 80s Trump was a businessman.

00:27:24.000 He was trying to sell real estate.

00:27:26.000 And nobody wants a madman going in there swinging and yelling tons of stuff at people because it's more of a boardroom type thing.

00:27:34.000 You're going to want to pitch buildings and know what you're talking about, about zoning and rights and all these things.

00:27:38.000 So much more soft-spoken, convincing tame.

00:27:43.000 And what about now?

00:27:45.000 Older Trump, he has to sell the idea of America.

00:27:50.000 Big, big country, most important country in the world.

00:27:53.000 Greatest country in the world.

00:27:55.000 So he's on a grand stage, the most powerful person, and he has to project to all these people, not just American people, all sorts of people, frankly.

00:28:08.000 A lot more people.

00:28:09.000 And he has to be that way, because nowadays you can get vilified for just being a patriot and liking America at all.

00:28:20.000 So he has to be very strong and bold against everybody in the media, everybody that hates him, Antifa.

00:28:28.000 Goes from the bottom to the top.

00:28:30.000 This is big, folks.

00:28:31.000 And what can we do if we want to defend these people that have been vilified in this era of anti-Americanism?

00:28:37.000 Where can we go to defend, say, Roger Stone?

00:28:39.000 Go to stonefensefund.com.

00:28:44.000 That's again, stone defensefund.com.

00:28:48.000 You know, it's a great fund, and there's a lot of people that are funding things, but frankly, I think this is one of the great things that you could fund.

00:29:00.000 What do you think of our new set?

00:29:01.000 Too many skulls? 0.95

00:29:04.000 Oh, I didn't even notice you did that.

00:29:06.000 Yeah, there are too many skulls.

00:29:09.000 A little cluttered.

00:29:10.000 Let's put these up.

00:29:12.000 Up on there.

00:29:14.000 and then we'll put this next to the trump yarmulkes That's kind of cool.

00:29:24.000 Yeah.

00:29:26.000 And now you get like unfettered gav, gav in a box.

00:29:30.000 It's like a dick in a box.

00:29:31.000 It's a dick in the box.

00:29:33.000 And the fish could go right behind your head eventually, maybe?

00:29:36.000 Yeah, eventually, maybe.

00:29:37.000 Because nobody will think that there's a fish tank growing out of your head.

00:29:41.000 That would be quite strange.

00:29:42.000 Frankly, if you do want to do that, I think that's something you could do.

00:29:44.000 It's not something I would want to do, but frankly.

00:29:47.000 Carson King is this kid who held up a sign at a sports game and it said, please donate money to my GoFundMe or whatever so I can buy beer.

00:29:56.000 I want to buy some Bush.

00:29:58.000 B-U-S-C-H, Amheiser-Busch.

00:30:00.000 He got way too much money, blew up, and he got hundreds of thousands of dollars.

00:30:05.000 And he went, oh shit, I don't want to die of alcohol poisoning.

00:30:09.000 So he donated it to a children's hospital.

00:30:12.000 Oh, cool.

00:30:12.000 The Des Moines Register was writing about the story, and they thought it would be prudent to go back almost 10 years through his Twitter to when he was 16, and they found some horrible, horrible hate, including Krazens are gay as hell.

00:30:33.000 And now that gay marriage is legal, I'm totally going to marry a horse. 1.00

00:30:38.000 I don't know what Tariq Nasheed is talking about.

00:30:40.000 I guess there was some racist jokes in there.

00:30:42.000 I know I saw him say N-word please at one point.

00:30:46.000 Here's, and everyone's talking about, dude, he was 16, and why did you drudge all that up?

00:30:50.000 Here's another thing that no one's talking about.

00:30:52.000 Eight years ago, Twitter was very different.

00:30:54.000 And a lot of these comedians getting in trouble for the shit they said eight years ago on Twitter, it was kind of 4chan.

00:30:59.000 It was kind of like raunchiest, most disgusting jokes you could come up with.

00:31:03.000 There wasn't a lot of chicks on it. 1.00

00:31:05.000 It wasn't used by a lot of politicians.

00:31:07.000 It was more just like fart jokes.

00:31:09.000 And here's a picture of a tranny's dick. 1.00

00:31:12.000 There wasn't that much, you know, philosophical.

00:31:15.000 Again, Broads got involved and it became all about love and sharing and Greta Thunberg.

00:31:23.000 So he said, look, I'm very sorry about these tweets.

00:31:29.000 Show more of the hashtag StanWithCarson.

00:31:32.000 This is in Ohio, the Midwest.

00:31:33.000 And this is a great story.

00:31:35.000 It's a very inspiring story because the Midwest said, yeah, you know what?

00:31:41.000 Fuck this.

00:31:42.000 We're done with cancel culture. 0.99

00:31:46.000 He apologized and he kept his fund going.

00:31:50.000 And he said, I'm going to keep doing this until we get more money and I'm going to donate it all to the children's hospital.

00:31:55.000 So Bush said, fuck you.

00:31:57.000 This guy's crazy.

00:31:58.000 Crazins aren't gay.

00:31:58.000 We hate him.

00:32:01.000 And Coors Light picked him up.

00:32:03.000 Now that's relevant because Joseph Coors, the guy who started Coors Light, once said that blacks aren't smart enough to work at his factory.

00:32:12.000 This is like a million years ago.

00:32:14.000 And that's why he doesn't hire blacks. 0.98

00:32:16.000 His sons took it over and said, our dad said stupid, racist shit and had crazy beliefs.

00:32:21.000 We're not doing that anymore.

00:32:23.000 And we're a new company and we're not racist and we're sorry.

00:32:26.000 And so Coors Light, I can't help but think that it's linked to that.

00:32:28.000 They picked up on this Carson King.

00:32:31.000 And they put him on one of their beer cans.

00:32:34.000 And he's kept going with the money.

00:32:36.000 I think it's up to about $1.2 million donated to the Children's Hospital.

00:32:41.000 Wow.

00:32:42.000 Now, fuck the kids.

00:32:44.000 No, thanks.

00:32:45.000 Not literally.

00:32:47.000 This isn't about that.

00:32:48.000 What's amazing here is that they know this person isn't a bona fide racist.

00:32:52.000 He's not a bona fide bigot.

00:32:53.000 He apologizes for his unfortunate use of the words when he was fucking 16 in a different Twitter, which no one's mentioned.

00:33:02.000 Let it go.

00:33:03.000 Enough with the permanent persecution of people for the sins of the past.

00:33:08.000 You know, a great example of this is that NASCAR guy who lost his funding because his dad used the N-word in the 80s.

00:33:16.000 God, if I was punished for everything my dad did, we would be in trouble.

00:33:20.000 All right.

00:33:21.000 So let's really break down this impeaching scandal and how totally and utterly nothing burger it is.

00:33:32.000 Thank you.

00:33:34.000 Thank you.

00:33:36.000 you Thank you.

00:33:40.000 This is it, folks.

00:33:41.000 Trump is going to be impeached.

00:33:44.000 New York Post today, impeaching to the choir.

00:33:47.000 Pelosi announces inquiry.

00:33:51.000 And then the post adds, but isn't that what they've already been doing?

00:33:54.000 I don't get this scoop.

00:33:56.000 You've been trying to impeach him since the day he was elected.

00:33:59.000 The fact that Nancy Pelosi is launching an inquiry seems to be the final nail in the coffin as far as the left is concerned.

00:34:07.000 And if you want to know how the left feel, check in with late night talk show hosts.

00:34:11.000 They are sort of the evangelical preachers of the leftist movement.

00:34:18.000 And they're thrilled.

00:34:19.000 Let's start with Stephen Colbert.

00:34:21.000 What does it say at the top there?

00:34:23.000 Late night host, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, mock Donald Trump's impeachment troubles.

00:34:27.000 Just to be clear here, you know what the impeachment troubles are?

00:34:30.000 That he was caught on the phone saying to someone in Ukraine, I think you should investigate Joe Biden's son.

00:34:37.000 Something fishy went on there.

00:34:39.000 That's it.

00:34:40.000 Now, the angle they're using for impeachment is he said, investigate Joe Biden's son or else we're not doing business with you and we're going to punish you monetarily with tariffs, who knows what.

00:34:53.000 But it was basically blackmailing Ukraine into investigating a crime.

00:34:57.000 What's the matter with pushing someone to investigate a crime?

00:35:00.000 Anyway, he's since released the transcripts and we can see that he never guaranteed anything.

00:35:05.000 He just said, I'd like you to look into that.

00:35:07.000 Pretty boring, right?

00:35:08.000 Nope.

00:35:09.000 This is it.

00:35:10.000 Let's see Stephen Colbert first.

00:35:12.000 Buckle up, America. 0.99

00:35:18.000 Oh, good.

00:35:21.000 This is eerie.

00:35:23.000 Lordy, what a day.

00:35:26.000 You really feel the ground shifting under your feet.

00:35:29.000 Note how smug they are already.

00:35:31.000 Just pause.

00:35:32.000 I've noticed, by the way, with the left, that they go so far ahead.

00:35:35.000 Like, remember when you were 18 and you get a new job and then you sort of buy a jet ski?

00:35:41.000 Like, you already talked to the people at the jet ski place before you get your first check.

00:35:44.000 And then you get your first check and you go, they took out $300?

00:35:49.000 I can't afford a jet ski.

00:35:51.000 The left is constantly buying jet skis.

00:35:53.000 Like, this is it.

00:35:54.000 They're done.

00:35:55.000 This is awesome.

00:35:56.000 We nailed them.

00:35:57.000 Meanwhile, Joe Biden's son is guilty.

00:36:00.000 Hunter Biden was getting kickbacks to the tune of 50 grand a month.

00:36:04.000 Yeah, you should investigate that.

00:36:06.000 Joe Biden should not be president.

00:36:08.000 He is corrupt.

00:36:10.000 But anyway, just for asking questions about Joe Biden's son makes people cheer like this.

00:36:15.000 They're not political.

00:36:16.000 They're not informed.

00:36:17.000 Why are they getting involved?

00:36:18.000 You got a seatbelt on your couch?

00:36:21.000 Number one, why?

00:36:24.000 You know what Colbert was funny?

00:36:26.000 Buckle up. 0.96

00:36:27.000 Because for two and a half years, Donald Trump has had scandal after scandal.

00:36:31.000 Russian collusion.

00:36:32.000 Obstruction of justice.

00:36:34.000 Russian collusion, that was disproved?

00:36:37.000 Okay, you got nothing on Russian collusion.

00:36:39.000 Obstruction of justice.

00:36:40.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

00:36:41.000 Keep going.

00:36:42.000 Saying Nazis are fine people. 0.92

00:36:45.000 He never said Nazis are fine.

00:36:47.000 Will you stop zooming in and out like a lunatic?

00:36:50.000 He never said Nazis are fine people.

00:36:52.000 He said there was fine people on both sides.

00:36:54.000 And he wasn't talking about the Charlottesville lunatics that you saw with the Tiki torches.

00:36:58.000 He was talking about the other people who were at that rally for statues.

00:37:03.000 Of course, he didn't mean there's fine people on both sides with Nazis and Antifa.

00:37:07.000 And the proof of that is he clearly doesn't think there's fine Antifa.

00:37:11.000 He was talking about a precursor to that same day's events, which was a protest about statues, which, by the way, is how the organizers tried to frame the whole thing in order to get their numbers up.

00:37:22.000 They didn't tell anyone it was a Nazi rally.

00:37:25.000 Unnamed co-conspirator to campaign finance violations, lying about the Moscow Trump Tower, speaking money to pay.

00:37:32.000 A real estate mogul was involved in a building in Moscow, as well as cities all over the world.

00:37:39.000 That's why he's president in order to help build a building in Moscow.

00:37:43.000 Like these accusations are so flimsy.

00:37:45.000 And I'm about to get to the left's actual crimes are exactly what he's talking about here.

00:37:51.000 But the difference is the left did them.

00:37:53.000 Trump didn't.

00:37:55.000 Pay for the border wall.

00:37:56.000 Faking the weather with a Sharpie.

00:37:58.000 Every time.

00:37:59.000 Faking the weather with a Sharpie.

00:38:01.000 Doesn't that sound dangerous?

00:38:02.000 Hey, no.

00:38:03.000 Every time people have asked, is this the thing?

00:38:07.000 Surely this must be the thing.

00:38:10.000 And every time, it wasn't the thing.

00:38:12.000 No, and it's not the thing either.

00:38:13.000 But here's the thing.

00:38:14.000 This time.

00:38:16.000 There's a new thing.

00:38:17.000 And it might be the thing.

00:38:20.000 Okay, this is spooky.

00:38:22.000 Look at this.

00:38:24.000 I wish the thing wouldn't show up when you pause.

00:38:28.000 Because this afternoon, Nancy Pelosi did this thing. 0.99

00:38:32.000 Today, I'm announcing the House of Representatives moving forward with an official impeachment inquiry.

00:38:37.000 Well, he's thrilled.

00:38:48.000 Why are all talk show hosts on the same page?

00:38:53.000 Look, women... 1.00

00:38:57.000 These are my enemies.

00:38:58.000 Men, angry, women liberties. 0.91

00:39:01.000 And the smelling beta pipes and gay friends that take them to these late night shows. 0.97

00:39:09.000 Is it because women have extra time to watch these late night shows? 1.00

00:39:17.000 It's an army of broads. 1.00

00:39:19.000 Anyway, so that's one.

00:39:20.000 Keep going.

00:39:21.000 Trevor Noah, of course, the smuggest African immigrant in the history of African immigrants. 1.00

00:39:26.000 Dude, you should be happy you're out of South Africa.

00:39:28.000 It's in a civil war right now.

00:39:30.000 You're in hell.

00:39:31.000 I mean, sorry, you escaped hell and you're here now.

00:39:34.000 How about relentless patriotism?

00:39:36.000 And maybe take in a couple white farmers while you're at it.

00:39:39.000 J. Trump.

00:39:40.000 Once again, the president of the United States is in big trouble.

00:39:44.000 Once again, news special report.

00:39:46.000 Good afternoon, everyone.

00:39:47.000 We're coming on the air in this busy news day with breaking.

00:39:50.000 Can you just pause here?

00:39:52.000 The right and the left is convinced that he's evil and he's always screwed.

00:39:56.000 And I'll never forget Greg Guttfeld when I was doing Red Eye a lot.

00:40:00.000 I would say during 2016, once every week and a half, he would email me and go, your boy just blew it.

00:40:07.000 Your boy's toast.

00:40:08.000 And I'd go, no, he's not toast and he's going to win.

00:40:12.000 My boy is not in trouble.

00:40:13.000 Why don't you guys just accept that he's winning in 2020 and it's four more years and get on with your lives?

00:40:20.000 Announcement from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of a formal impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump.

00:40:27.000 Today, I'm announcing the House of Representatives moving forward with an official impeachment inquiry.

00:40:33.000 Just push action.

00:40:34.000 Do you know why this is going on, by the way?

00:40:36.000 The moderate left, the moderate DNC, the Bidens and the Pelosis, have been told that the goon squad with Rashid Talib and AOC and the other two are the future of the DNC.

00:40:49.000 So get on board or you're done.

00:40:52.000 And Biden was reluctant.

00:40:54.000 And he said, no, like you're too radical.

00:40:56.000 The end of fossil fuels, abortion a day after the baby's born.

00:40:59.000 We're not going to get voted in.

00:41:01.000 And then he found out Trump was looking into his crimes, which he did.

00:41:07.000 And he went, all right, fuck it.

00:41:08.000 We're in.

00:41:09.000 And they said, all right, we're going full radical.

00:41:11.000 The DNC is now the ANTIFA.

00:41:15.000 And to date by the president, have seriously violated the Constitution.

00:41:20.000 The president must be held accountable.

00:41:22.000 No one is above the law.

00:41:25.000 Holy crap.

00:41:26.000 We'll see.

00:41:28.000 The DNC is clearly above the law.

00:41:30.000 The Clintons were clearly above the law.

00:41:34.000 Really?

00:41:35.000 He's really winning.

00:41:37.000 After two years of avoiding it, Trump may finally face articles of impeachment, which believe me, he is not happy about.

00:41:44.000 It's impeachment, which Trump hates, plus articles, which he hates even more.

00:41:50.000 Yeah.

00:41:50.000 If his mom ever caught him with a Playboy magazine, he'd be like, I swear I'm not reading the articles, just looking at the boobs.

00:41:58.000 Man, he's not crazy.

00:41:59.000 And if you thought Trump was unhinged before, I can't even imagine what he's going to be like now.

00:42:05.000 Like, he's been crazy.

00:42:06.000 Can you imagine what he's going to be like now?

00:42:07.000 You better keep your kids away from Twitter people because this thing is going to be a category five tweet storm. 0.68

00:42:13.000 And this one will hit Alabama.

00:42:16.000 Can you give a senior's, a woman, an old lady, kind of a level of humor, doesn't he?

00:42:22.000 Like he's at an hospice or something?

00:42:28.000 But how did we get here?

00:42:30.000 And what does it all mean?

00:42:32.000 Well, let's find out in our brand new segment, the full story.

00:42:37.000 Look how wrinkly my neck is.

00:42:38.000 I'm becoming an old person.

00:42:41.000 Look at that.

00:42:42.000 So, how did the Nancy Pelosi neck on the road to impeachment? 1.00

00:42:46.000 Well, it all started last week with a mysterious report from a whistleblower.

00:42:51.000 This is CNN breaking news.

00:42:53.000 And we do begin with that breaking news.

00:42:55.000 CNN has learned that President Trump had a communication with a foreign leader that was so troubling to one U.S. intelligence official that they filed a whistleblower complaint.

00:43:06.000 The Washington Post reports this involved a promise.

00:43:09.000 Jeff Bezos reports who the whistleblower is or who the foreign leader is.

00:43:13.000 Let's see the next one.

00:43:13.000 Keep going.

00:43:16.000 God, they're losers.

00:43:17.000 They're literally losers.

00:43:19.000 Look at that.

00:43:20.000 Go back, go back, go back.

00:43:21.000 Look at that audience.

00:43:22.000 Isn't that disturbing?

00:43:25.000 Middle class white female.

00:43:26.000 Same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same.

00:43:33.000 There's a dude.

00:43:35.000 No people of color, by the way.

00:43:37.000 Have you noticed that?

00:43:39.000 I think there's a dude.

00:43:41.000 It's just these uninformed broads that don't like Trump because he represents the guys that wouldn't fuck them in high school or college, for that matter. 0.59

00:43:51.000 And the pussy quote really pissed them off because they're not familiar with a world where hot chicks want to fuck famous guys. 1.00

00:43:59.000 They are familiar with a world where fat, ugly chicks wanted to fuck famous guys. 1.00

00:44:04.000 I don't know who that is.

00:44:07.000 Who's this?

00:44:08.000 Pelosi?

00:44:09.000 We just saw that one.

00:44:10.000 There's a Jimmy Fallon.

00:44:11.000 Yeah, there's, let's see Jimmy Fallon doing his Trump, which isn't his, who's he doing Daryl Hammond's Trump, right?

00:44:17.000 It's weird when you see impressionists rip off other guys' impressions.

00:44:21.000 Like Mike Myers ripped off, what's his name's Lauren Michaels?

00:44:27.000 Yeah, Dr. Evil is just Dana Carvey's Lauren Michaels. 1.00

00:44:30.000 Thank me.

00:44:31.000 Thank me very much.

00:44:33.000 You're all very happy that I'm here at the United Nations.

00:44:37.000 I mean, wow, just look at all the room full of diverse cultures and ethnicities.

00:44:42.000 Seriously, it's like the scariest college brochure I've ever seen.

00:44:47.000 But I know what you're all thinking.

00:44:48.000 It's so great to be here with me for the last four to six hours of my presidency.

00:44:55.000 Just pause.

00:44:56.000 You know, I've seen them, and this is way back in 2016, they're so confident that he's going to jail that they would start openly discussing Pence, President Pence, and how we're in big trouble with President Pence.

00:45:08.000 I even saw Milo joking yesterday saying, I'm actually looking forward to President Pence.

00:45:12.000 We're more likely to get a war.

00:45:15.000 You make one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader, and everyone acts like you made one phone call blackmailing a foreign later.

00:45:24.000 I guess it's like the older one.

00:45:26.000 I think we get it, right?

00:45:27.000 So that's, oh, wait, no, there's James Corden, too.

00:45:30.000 I mean, I haven't seen James Corden's, but you can predict it, right?

00:45:34.000 New information has come to light regarding President Trump and his troubling phone call with the Ukrainian president, and it led to a major announcement this afternoon.

00:45:44.000 House Speaker Nancy Pelosi came out of an emergency closed-door session with congressional Democrats, and she had this to say.

00:45:52.000 Today, I'm announcing the House of Representatives moving forward with an official impeachment inquiry.

00:45:58.000 Just you heard.

00:45:59.000 Just pause.

00:46:00.000 Look into Nancy Pelosi's eyes.

00:46:02.000 You were looking into the eyes of a dead goat.

00:46:05.000 Stop imbuing all of this authority and wisdom and efficiency on the government.

00:46:13.000 The White House, this includes Trump, politics is Hollywood for ugly people.

00:46:18.000 They're all clowns.

00:46:20.000 And justice does not happen.

00:46:22.000 Justice doesn't happen on a local level.

00:46:24.000 We got our boys looking at nine years for fighting back after an ambush.

00:46:27.000 So you should all know that that injustice you see on a local level goes all the way to the top.

00:46:32.000 It's all a fucking shit show.

00:46:34.000 And it seems like the only innocent person in all of this is President Trump.

00:46:39.000 He seems to be the only honest one in this mess, and you just keep chasing him.

00:46:44.000 In fact, I would argue that the proof that Trump is an innocent person is the incredible rage that surrounds him when he walks into this swamp and tries to push the drain button.

00:46:59.000 You heard Pelosi.

00:47:01.000 Pelosi.

00:47:02.000 Finally, the time for talking about impeachment is over.

00:47:06.000 It's time to inquire about impeachment.

00:47:11.000 This is it, guys.

00:47:14.000 Let the talking stop and the inquiring begin.

00:47:18.000 He's on our side, in a sense.

00:47:19.000 It's really gaining steam now.

00:47:21.000 At this rate, Democrats should have Trump impeached by the last six months of his second term.

00:47:21.000 It is.

00:47:28.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:47:29.000 More than 180 House Democrats are now in favor of impeaching President Trump.

00:47:34.000 It's like the old saying goes, work with a foreign government to undermine a democratic election once, shame on you. 0.53

00:47:41.000 Do it twice.

00:47:43.000 We are going to inquire about the possibility of doing something this time.

00:47:47.000 Maybe.

00:47:47.000 We'll see.

00:47:48.000 So poor Giuliani is in the midst of all this, and he's the one that was really pushing for this.

00:47:54.000 He saw Joe Biden, sorry, Hunter Biden, get something like $3 million.

00:47:59.000 And as I say, $50,000 a month from this company is like doing consulting or something for Ukraine.

00:48:06.000 And he got the job.

00:48:07.000 I fucking hate this guy, by the way, Andrew McCarthy.

00:48:11.000 This is the guy who wrote the book Free Speech and Islam, little chap book for, I think, Encounter books.

00:48:16.000 He's also the guy that got John Derbyshire fired from National Review, even though John Derbyshire wrote an article that offended him that was on TackyMag, my old site.

00:48:25.000 John Derbyshire is a friend of mine.

00:48:27.000 This guy is a cuck.

00:48:28.000 He's a neocon.

00:48:29.000 He's a never-Trumper. 0.85

00:48:31.000 He's a rhino, Republican in name only. 0.93

00:48:33.000 I do not trust this guy as far as I can throw him, and I can throw him pretty far.

00:48:40.000 Wait, that doesn't make any sense.

00:48:41.000 All right, let's check Juliani on telling some liberal to shut up. 1.00

00:48:45.000 It's the guy who's always on top.

00:48:46.000 I'm going to make it available, and we'll see.

00:48:49.000 Okay, I'm going to bring Rudy back in.

00:48:50.000 Rudy, you've been listening to this conversation.

00:48:52.000 I sure have, and I'd like to say to Mr. Hahn, I should sue you for libel, because he irresponsibly You're a public figure.

00:49:05.000 Yeah, and by the way, do you have any idea that the State Department?

00:49:11.000 Shut up, Ruth, Chris.

00:49:13.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:49:14.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:49:14.000 You don't know what you're talking about. 0.95

00:49:16.000 You don't know what you're talking about, idiot.

00:49:18.000 I do.

00:49:19.000 You just lied.

00:49:20.000 I wish you would stop.

00:49:21.000 You lied.

00:49:22.000 I wish you would stop, Mr. Christmas.

00:49:27.000 Why don't you tell him to keep his mouth shut so we can tell the truth?

00:49:30.000 Yeah, Chris, just let Ruth. 0.99

00:49:31.000 Just keep your mouth shut.

00:49:34.000 Keep it on fact.

00:49:36.000 He said about me that I was asked by the State Department to go dig up political dirt on Trump's opponent.

00:49:44.000 Totally false.

00:49:45.000 The State Department asked me.

00:49:47.000 Just said it.

00:49:50.000 No, I didn't.

00:49:50.000 You did, you liar.

00:49:52.000 Just let him go.

00:49:52.000 You did.

00:49:53.000 Tell him and you can respond.

00:49:54.000 Turn him off so I can speak.

00:49:57.000 I do not want to be interrupted.

00:49:59.000 Okay, let's let Rudy speak and from that serial liar.

00:50:04.000 So here's why I was asked by the State Department.

00:50:07.000 It's all documented.

00:50:08.000 They called me to facilitate a meeting between the president and Mr. Zelensky.

00:50:14.000 All right, we got it.

00:50:16.000 So Giuliani was asked to look into this.

00:50:18.000 Crime.

00:50:19.000 And the DNC's attitude here, I actually think it's a good political strategy in this era of laziness.

00:50:26.000 You saw those dumb bitches standing up and clapping on Colbert. 1.00

00:50:29.000 So having an idiotic philosophy like this is effective.

00:50:34.000 We're living in an era where Sean King steals money from black people pretending to be a black man, and he's a hero. 1.00

00:50:44.000 The methodology here is that Joe Biden knows that he was corrupt and he did something wrong with Hunter, his son.

00:50:51.000 And the attitude is scorched earth, intense offense.

00:50:56.000 Anytime someone tries to investigate me, I'm going to come at them like a complete lunatic, talk about impeachment for the sin of even questioning my business practices.

00:51:06.000 And I think it's pretty good.

00:51:08.000 I think it's a smart thing to do.

00:51:10.000 Now, just to discuss what's really going on here, this is what Trump wanted investigated.

00:51:16.000 This is on the New York Post.

00:51:18.000 President Trump's personal attorney, Giuliani, early Monday, accused Ukraine of laundering $3 million to Joe Biden's son Hunter and questioned how former President Barack Obama could have allowed it to happen.

00:51:33.000 When prosecutor asked Cyprus for amount going to Sun, he was told U.S. Embassy, Obama's, instructed them not to provide the amount.

00:51:42.000 Prosecutor getting too close to Sun and Biden had him fired.

00:51:46.000 So someone investigating this corruption has already lost their job.

00:51:50.000 And this is all on Obama's clock.

00:51:52.000 And it's something that Joe Biden should have to answer for if he's running for president.

00:51:59.000 Clearly.

00:52:00.000 I said, you're not getting the billion.

00:52:02.000 I'm going to be leaving here.

00:52:03.000 I think it was, what, six hours?

00:52:04.000 I looked.

00:52:04.000 I said, I'm leaving in six hours.

00:52:06.000 If the prosecutor's not fired, you're not getting the money.

00:52:09.000 Well, son of a bitch.

00:52:11.000 Got fired.

00:52:12.000 And they put in place someone who was solid.

00:52:16.000 So they talk about blackmailing a foreign country.

00:52:19.000 That's exactly what Joe Biden did to the tune of $1 billion in loan guarantees.

00:52:26.000 Let me just repeat that.

00:52:27.000 He told Ukraine in 2016 that the U.S. was considering canceling $1 billion in loan guarantees unless it got rid of the top prosecutor, Viktor Chokhin, who was investigating his son.

00:52:37.000 But Chokin, who was voted out of office by Ukraine, but Shokin, who was voted out of office by Ukraine's parliament, was looking into Burisma holding an energy company that gave Hunter Biden a seat on its board.

00:52:50.000 Burisma paid Hunter as much as $50,000 a month.

00:52:54.000 There's your smoking gun, dummies.

00:52:56.000 Your smoking gun is Joe Biden threatening $1 billion in losses unless you ignore my son's $50,000 a month.

00:53:08.000 Now, let's just, on the subject of spying and corruption and ne'er-do-wells, let's not forget that Obama, Barack Obama, was spying on Trump.

00:53:20.000 There is your crime.

00:53:21.000 There is your impeachment.

00:53:25.000 When is this from, this article?

00:53:27.000 It's pretty old, right?

00:53:29.000 Is that 08?

00:53:30.000 No.

00:53:30.000 What's the date on that?

00:53:31.000 2017.

00:53:32.000 1920.

00:53:33.000 Yeah, 2017.

00:53:34.000 Of course it was 2017.

00:53:36.000 It was post-election.

00:53:37.000 According to the media reports this week, the FBI did indeed wiretap the former head of Trump's campaign, Paul Manafort, both before and after Trump was elected.

00:53:45.000 If Trump officials or Trump himself communicated with Manafort during the wiretaps, they would have been recording too.

00:53:51.000 And then this woman goes on to say, if these reports are accurate, it means U.S. intelligence agencies secretly surveilled at least a half dozen Trump associates, and those are just the ones we know about.

00:54:01.000 Besides Manafort, the officials include former Trump advisors Carter Page, Michael Flynn, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:54:08.000 Speaking of Obama's corruption, he also got away with this.

00:54:11.000 Remember Pelosi said no president is above the law?

00:54:16.000 Remember when Obama leaned over and on a hot mic?

00:54:20.000 And I'm not just talking about a sexy guy named Mike.

00:54:24.000 I mean a microphone that's picking stuff up.

00:54:26.000 Obama, during talks and soul, urged Moscow to give him quote-unquote space until after the November ballot.

00:54:33.000 And Meldrev said he would relay the message to incoming Russian President Vladimir Putin.

00:54:41.000 Do you remember that?

00:54:42.000 He said he'll have more flexibility after the election.

00:54:45.000 He mumbled it to him, but we picked it up on his mic.

00:54:47.000 We picked it up on his mic.

00:54:48.000 The unusually frank exchange came as Obama and Medvedev, God I hate Russian names, huddled together on the eve of a global security summit in the South Korean capital, unaware their words were being picked up by microphones as reporters were led into the room.

00:55:03.000 So so far we have Joe Biden threatening a billion-dollar loss to Ukraine unless they ignore his son's corruption.

00:55:09.000 And we have Obama colluding with Russia and saying, let's let this election die down and then we can get back up to our dirty business.

00:55:19.000 And we also have Obama going above the law and spying on Trump and his officials.

00:55:25.000 And while we're on the subject, I'm reminded of Bill Clinton.

00:55:29.000 This was a while ago.

00:55:31.000 You know, though, the Uranium 1 story with Hillary Clinton?

00:55:35.000 So Bill Clinton wanted to open up Kazakhstan and help this donor to the Clinton Foundation, the Canadian guy, mine uranium, I believe it was, in Kazakhstan.

00:55:46.000 He wanted to mine in Kazakhstan. 0.81

00:55:47.000 Kazakhstan is a totally corrupt, shithole country dictatorship where people have no rights. 0.99

00:55:53.000 It looks beautiful, but if you drive around there, you'll never see a person because they all live in flea-bitten shacks while you see nothing but white marble. 0.96

00:56:02.000 He's a dictator.

00:56:03.000 He changed all the names of the month to variations on his name, I believe.

00:56:08.000 And so Bill Clinton went there for $500,000.

00:56:11.000 He did a speech and he awarded this despot a human rights award.

00:56:17.000 Similarly, Hillary Clinton, which is this one now?

00:56:23.000 It's funny too, because when you look this up on Google, you see nothing but Vox and CNN and Washington Post and all these corrupt left-wing mainstream media sources talking about the impeachment.

00:56:33.000 And you have to go all the way to the American Thinker to find true stories about Hillary selling most of the world's uranium to Russia in exchange for donations to the Clinton Foundation.

00:56:44.000 The pay-to-play scandals that you may have forgotten about because they're rarely reported.

00:56:50.000 The New York Times reported this week on the unseemly transfer of cash from parties interested in major uranium deals to the Clintons.

00:56:58.000 The Canadian company selling uranium-1 had global consequences.

00:57:04.000 It would put one-fifth of all uranium production capacity in the United States under Russian control.

00:57:08.000 That sounds safe, right?

00:57:10.000 Don't you need uranium for nuclear weapons?

00:57:13.000 But Hillary doesn't care about America's safety. 1.00

00:57:15.000 She doesn't care about anything but money and power. 1.00

00:57:17.000 And Trump cares about justice.

00:57:21.000 He wants the DNC to be ridiculed.

00:57:24.000 He wants them to be exposed.

00:57:25.000 He wants them to get caught for their crimes.

00:57:28.000 And their crimes, as you can see, go on and on and on.

00:57:32.000 Obama's crimes, Bill Clinton's crimes, Hillary Clinton's crimes, Joe Biden's crimes, and Hunter Biden's crimes.

00:57:39.000 But in this corrupt culture where fat ladies who go see Colbert run popular opinion, simply asking a crime to be investigated is a crime. 1.00

00:57:48.000 All of the sudden, we're in like twin.

00:57:52.000 Ducks stare at us as soon as we begin.

00:57:57.000 When I fade the frame of four things...

00:58:00.000 I'm regretting this now.

00:58:03.000 It feels a little empty.

00:58:07.000 Hmm.

00:58:08.000 I could make it all white stuff, which it was.

00:58:11.000 I like that stuff before.

00:58:12.000 That was kind of cool stuff.

00:58:13.000 It was like anatomical stuff.

00:58:14.000 It kind of balanced out all the action figures.

00:58:18.000 And the picture is very light.

00:58:21.000 Alright, that's the beauty of this.

00:58:22.000 Well, we learned.

00:58:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:23.000 You live and you learn.

00:58:26.000 You live.

00:58:27.000 You learn.

00:58:29.000 You live, You learn.

00:58:30.000 Frankly, there's a lot of things that you could have done differently, but I think the things that you did do are quite things that you should be proud of.

00:58:37.000 And it's a great job.

00:58:38.000 You have a great job.

00:58:39.000 And you did a great job, frankly.

00:58:43.000 Okay.

00:58:46.000 So that took a big bite out of the show, but it was important to get across that as KRS1 of Boogie Down Productions once said, the ones screaming Keep It Real the Loudest are the ones the most full of shit.

00:59:02.000 We're running out of time, and I want to show you some fun videos at the end, but let's squeeze in a letter for the mailbag.

00:59:09.000 Okay, we can totally do that.

00:59:10.000 Now, this is going to be a great intro.

00:59:12.000 I'm just setting it up real quick.

00:59:14.000 We have an intro for this, right?

00:59:15.000 Should just be a button, dude.

00:59:16.000 And don't show the player.

00:59:18.000 No, frankly, I would never do that.

00:59:20.000 I think showing the player.

00:59:20.000 You never do that.

00:59:21.000 Don't do that, my friend.

00:59:22.000 I've done it plenty of times without the player.

00:59:24.000 I'd say 98% of the time you've seen it.

00:59:26.000 Okay, the strongest 2% you've ever seen.

00:59:29.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:59:34.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

00:59:39.000 Let me touch it.

00:59:40.000 Dear Gavin and Ryan, your five levels of Antifa segment, GO ML Live number 13, was great, but I think you omitted one key level.

00:59:49.000 Perhaps level 1.5 should be the high priests or professors slash academic think tankers.

00:59:55.000 True, they don't wear black, but without their simplistic theories, it's hard to imagine level 4s emerging organically, even if they are their kids.

01:00:02.000 Level 5s are also recruited by level 3s and 4s, educated in universities.

01:00:08.000 And level 2s can't get into law school without first passing through these undergraduate gatekeepers.

01:00:16.000 Consider the many creepy chanting videos you've played on the show, and recall that you can often see these high priests leading their students like cult leaders.

01:00:24.000 Their bizarre theoretical frameworks also make it possible for level one financiers to channel funds to left-wing activists, who in a non-clown world would presumably be their enemies.

01:00:35.000 You notice how I'm reading, Ryan?

01:00:37.000 In a colorful way that's conversational and doesn't sound like I'm just trying to plow through it?

01:00:42.000 You noted that the level twos would still be able to organize Antifa without level one support, but how would they do this if Antifa ideas weren't passed on to naive students?

01:00:52.000 What the hell was that?

01:00:53.000 Oh, it's a dog.

01:00:54.000 Dogs.

01:00:55.000 Somebody brought it up.

01:00:55.000 Dogs aren't allowed in this building.

01:00:57.000 Well, they're support dogs.

01:00:59.000 A lot of dogs can be.

01:01:00.000 You can have a support guest.

01:01:01.000 It doesn't sound like a support dog to me.

01:01:02.000 Sounds like a maniacal Chihuahua.

01:01:04.000 Well, maybe they need the support of sound.

01:01:06.000 By the way, Maniacal Chihuahua will be playing at Mercury Lounge on Thursday with Urban Dance Squad.

01:01:11.000 Maybe these high priests should be grouped into level two with them.

01:01:15.000 Still, I think they deserve a mention as most people have never heard of the radical Antifa ideology until they enter university.

01:01:21.000 Please keep up the good work.

01:01:22.000 Best wishes, Andy, in California.

01:01:24.000 That's a great point, Andy.

01:01:26.000 The problem is you get into sort of the diaspora of Antifa.

01:01:31.000 For example, the rich housewives in my neighborhood who were happy to pick up the cause after Antifa decided I was evil.

01:01:39.000 And, you know, they post, Antifa posted my school, my kids' school.

01:01:45.000 Antifa put a giant banner over the highway exit that goes to my community that called me a Nazi and was there for about a week and a half because the state troopers couldn't get their shit together.

01:01:55.000 I didn't even know about it.

01:01:58.000 But then the housewives go, yes, thanks, radical alt-left.

01:02:02.000 We'll take it from here and terrorize his children and ruin their social lives and vandalize his car and leave him notes in his front door and blah, blah, blah.

01:02:13.000 And yell at him and yell at his house and stuff like that.

01:02:17.000 Live stream him at CVS.

01:02:19.000 So they're part of it too.

01:02:20.000 What I was trying to do with that five levels of Antifa was talk specifically about the mob that was at my talk or the mob that was at my NYU talk and pepper sprayed me and who's all there.

01:02:33.000 Who can you grab?

01:02:35.000 Now, the Proud Boys fight on October 12th, the money for the signs came from the top, right?

01:02:44.000 The guys who paid for it, number one.

01:02:46.000 Two, the lesbian lawyers, I saw them handing out the signs to the various people they had hired. 0.99

01:02:53.000 Three, I saw the shot collars also there that night.

01:02:56.000 So of the five levels, the only ones who weren't literally there was the number one guy who wrote the check.

01:03:01.000 I saw the shot collar.

01:03:02.000 We showed pictures of him from that same night.

01:03:05.000 And then four, we had the academic kids who vandalized the venue.

01:03:10.000 And then five, we did have some loser stragglers who were there just because they felt beholden to their cult leaders.

01:03:17.000 So the five levels I talked about were people that if you reach down, just like when biologists will reach into a pond and pull up a bunch of scum and then show you the different eggs and insects that are just in that one scoop, I was showing you the five levels of the scoop.

01:03:31.000 Now, as far as the DNC, Bill de Blasio, Cuomo, the Attorney General, the teachers, you're very right.

01:03:39.000 The teachers are the ones who started this mess that told them about Antifa and glorified them.

01:03:43.000 In fact, we had a professor who was fired recently for admitting he's literally in Antifa.

01:03:48.000 He doesn't just support them.

01:03:49.000 He's a member.

01:03:51.000 But you got to draw the line somewhere.

01:03:53.000 And it's just amazing that it's just amazing that we have alt-right Nazis with tiki torches who say Jews will not replace us.

01:04:04.000 And we instantly condemn them, push them away, and say, these guys have nothing to do with us.

01:04:09.000 They're fucking freaks.

01:04:10.000 Fuck them.

01:04:10.000 And it's only a tiny sliver of the left.

01:04:13.000 I mean, the right.

01:04:14.000 When you go to the left, it's a rather large swath, and there's a very gray area from the alt-left to the center where you have AOC and you have supporting them.

01:04:25.000 And you have, what's his name?

01:04:27.000 The black dude holding the Antifa handbook.

01:04:30.000 Keith Ellison.

01:04:31.000 Keith Ellison holding the Antifa handbook.

01:04:33.000 You're a loser.

01:04:34.000 So they have their own Tiki Torch guys, but they love them.

01:04:38.000 And Tim Kaine's son is a member of Antifa, and he says, we have to fight on the streets.

01:04:42.000 We had Maxine Waters the other day saying, I'm going to take out Trump.

01:04:46.000 She said she was going to take me out. 0.99

01:04:48.000 Where to the ball game?

01:04:49.000 Now, Charles Johnson was kicked off Twitter for saying, let's take out D-Roy Mackisson.

01:04:54.000 D-Ray.

01:04:56.000 And he's not the president, is he?

01:04:57.000 All right, it's all too heady and serious.

01:04:59.000 Let's get up, go over to the green screen studio and look at some funny videos to keep things light and fun.

01:05:16.000 We're living in a culture where call the police is everyone's go-to instant thing.

01:05:19.000 I saw a video the other day where some guy was smoking, and this guy didn't want him smoking outside his store, so he blasted him with fire extinguisher powder, and the guy just goes, call the police.

01:05:28.000 And he goes, good, call the police.

01:05:29.000 You keep hearing that again and again.

01:05:30.000 Call the police.

01:05:31.000 Get security.

01:05:31.000 Get a manager.

01:05:33.000 Just handle your business.

01:05:35.000 And when I was a kid, you'd have a fight.

01:05:37.000 It would be preordained.

01:05:38.000 It would be like 3.30 at the abandoned baseball diamond near the school.

01:05:42.000 You'd be pooping your pants all day.

01:05:44.000 You would do it.

01:05:44.000 You'd get the fight over with.

01:05:46.000 No authorities involved.

01:05:47.000 No teachers, no parents.

01:05:49.000 And six times out of 10, which can be reduced to three times out of five, you'd become best pals with the guy.

01:05:57.000 So it was very refreshing.

01:05:58.000 I sort of gave away the ending to see this fight.

01:06:00.000 I like that you took your shirt off so no one can grab you.

01:06:04.000 But check out this little round.

01:06:06.000 Boom.

01:06:09.000 Oh, I think he got his head on the way down.

01:06:11.000 Just pause.

01:06:12.000 You may have to go back to that.

01:06:13.000 I've noticed watching 8 Million Fights that the old pick you up and slam you down thing seems to do better than fists. 0.97

01:06:21.000 It seems to be more effective than punching someone in the head.

01:06:24.000 Getting a good punch to the head that knocks them out is incredibly rare.

01:06:27.000 I've never done it in my life.

01:06:29.000 I've been knocked out a few times, though.

01:06:31.000 Whammo.

01:06:31.000 Look at that.

01:06:32.000 He's a little guy.

01:06:33.000 Also, ducking is a very...

01:06:38.000 Gets right down.

01:06:40.000 And then he whams him. 0.93

01:06:41.000 I think he snaps his head on the way.

01:06:42.000 That could have broken his neck, actually.

01:06:44.000 Maybe that's a little rough.

01:06:45.000 This is in Jersey City, right?

01:06:47.000 Or New Jersey Transit, somewhere in Hoboken, maybe.

01:06:51.000 So he's ready to rock.

01:06:54.000 And the guy's like, no, I'm done.

01:06:56.000 I'm fucked up.

01:06:57.000 I don't want to fight anymore.

01:06:58.000 You almost broke my neck.

01:06:59.000 You're a really good fighter.

01:07:01.000 You're done?

01:07:01.000 We're done.

01:07:02.000 Yeah.

01:07:02.000 You apologize?

01:07:03.000 Well, then we're good.

01:07:04.000 Right on, bro.

01:07:07.000 And he goes, yeah, you fucked me up really bad. 0.52

01:07:09.000 And my nose is bleeding.

01:07:11.000 Your nose is bleeding?

01:07:12.000 Hold on.

01:07:12.000 I was buying my wife something for anniversary.

01:07:14.000 Here's a tissue.

01:07:15.000 There you go.

01:07:16.000 Paper towel.

01:07:17.000 Oh, wait.

01:07:17.000 I'm just checking the schedule.

01:07:18.000 Oh, thanks.

01:07:19.000 Thanks for the paper towel.

01:07:21.000 Yeah, we're good.

01:07:23.000 They're bros.

01:07:25.000 That's the America I grew up with.

01:07:28.000 Now, the America we have now is a little reckless.

01:07:31.000 And I think the fact that we don't handle our business and we call the cops all the time means that we don't understand ramifications.

01:07:38.000 And we do incredibly stupid shit like smoke the hottest pepper in the world.

01:07:45.000 Oi Ve.

01:07:47.000 You know what this is turning into?

01:07:49.000 This is that Rick Dickulous, whatever that show is called.

01:07:52.000 Ridiculousness, yo.

01:07:54.000 Remember he had a black friend that he bought?

01:07:56.000 That big, huge dude?

01:07:58.000 Yeah, I forgot his name.

01:07:59.000 And it was like me and my big black friend.

01:08:01.000 And then the black friend stopped getting paid.

01:08:03.000 And he's like, I'm not your friend anymore.

01:08:04.000 And he's like, okay, fine.

01:08:06.000 I don't have a black friend.

01:08:08.000 Now, what's amazing about this is when you eat a hot pepper, it goes down your throat into your stomach.

01:08:14.000 You can get to that with water and milk.

01:08:16.000 When you inhale a hot pepper, it's in your lungs.

01:08:19.000 You can't get in there.

01:08:20.000 I've ever been scared to do something on YouTube.

01:08:25.000 What are you doing, dude?

01:08:29.000 What is that?

01:08:29.000 A Pendleton?

01:08:31.000 Is that an exercise bike?

01:08:33.000 A machine?

01:08:34.000 It's a phone holder.

01:08:36.000 Oh, I see.

01:08:39.000 Going out with a bang this year.

01:08:40.000 I told you guys.

01:08:41.000 Retirement's a bitch. 0.74

01:08:42.000 Retirement's a bitch. 0.74

01:08:44.000 When did you retire at?

01:08:45.000 35?

01:08:47.000 What is he?

01:08:47.000 40?

01:08:48.000 Is that a cop?

01:08:52.000 Do more.

01:08:53.000 Do more.

01:08:55.000 Look at his terror face.

01:08:57.000 Do more.

01:08:58.000 There you go.

01:08:59.000 Now you're good.

01:09:00.000 Now it's deep in there.

01:09:02.000 That was smart.

01:09:03.000 Now, you see, the problem with water is it goes down your throat through your esophagus to your stomach.

01:09:10.000 That's not getting to the lungs. 0.80

01:09:16.000 I bet no caveman has ever even done this.

01:09:20.000 He might be the first person to have ever done this in the history of the earth.

01:09:24.000 I'm serious.

01:09:25.000 That particular pepper?

01:09:28.000 It's still going to hurt, dude.

01:09:30.000 Now he's like, I can't believe how much it hurts.

01:09:33.000 What was I doing?

01:09:35.000 Strong men create good times.

01:09:37.000 Good times create weak men.

01:09:39.000 Weak men inhale hot peppers, trying to give themselves some sort of life experience. 0.77

01:09:46.000 Meanwhile, it looks like he was face fucked by LeBron James.

01:09:54.000 Is that the whole thing?

01:09:55.000 Yeah.

01:09:55.000 You notice his fence?

01:09:56.000 By the way, barfing doesn't help.

01:09:58.000 It's in your lungs.

01:09:59.000 Yeah, his fence.

01:10:00.000 It's meant to keep him out.

01:10:03.000 Yeah, it keeps him in.

01:10:04.000 He's not allowed to leave.

01:10:06.000 The barbs are pointed inwards.

01:10:09.000 His neighbors put that up.

01:10:10.000 His neighbors.

01:10:11.000 I got some good news and some bad news.

01:10:13.000 I'm paying for your fence, and it's all expenses covered by me.

01:10:17.000 But the things point in because you freak me out.

01:10:20.000 Didn't you smoke a hot pepper?

01:10:22.000 Yeah, I smoke them all the time.

01:10:25.000 All right.

01:10:25.000 Do we have anyone, anything else?

01:10:27.000 We do.

01:10:27.000 How many are left?

01:10:28.000 One.

01:10:29.000 Oh, this is the last one.

01:10:30.000 This is badass.

01:10:32.000 This is why these military guys, after they retire, are frustrated.

01:10:37.000 Obviously, there's PTSD and it's traumatic to go through a lot of what they went through, but a lot of it was fucking exciting.

01:10:44.000 And I hope I'm being respectful to vets, but a lot of them miss the excitement.

01:10:50.000 Like this, how are you ever going to recover from this?

01:10:52.000 They're chasing a fucking submarine and winning.

01:10:57.000 What are you going to do after that?

01:10:58.000 Play golf?

01:10:59.000 Go do paintball?

01:11:06.000 Adu debarco.

01:11:08.000 What does that mean?

01:11:09.000 Park your subkeep.

01:11:12.000 Pull over to the side of the ocean.

01:11:18.000 By the way, sub guys, dive. 0.91

01:11:21.000 What are they doing?

01:11:22.000 You're a submarine.

01:11:24.000 It's like chasing a water snake.

01:11:26.000 Go! 0.95

01:11:28.000 And by the way, this is cocaine they have.

01:11:30.000 So, I think a lot of us don't want them to get caught.

01:11:34.000 I'm too old for cocaine, but I know you youngsters are hoping that they fail.

01:11:38.000 Look at this: bang, bang, bang.

01:11:41.000 So, he bangs on a submarine door, and it's successful.

01:11:46.000 They get it open.

01:11:51.000 Pretty intense, huh?

01:11:55.000 Oh, they show it twice.

01:11:57.000 Open up.

01:11:58.000 Hello?

01:12:00.000 That'd be funny if the guy inside just goes, I'm doing the dishes and then dives.

01:12:06.000 Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.

01:12:08.000 I hope they have life jackets on.

01:12:09.000 Yeah, what if those guys dived when the dudes were on top?

01:12:12.000 That looks a little too perfect, doesn't it?

01:12:15.000 Was that a setup?

01:12:15.000 Anyway, they got...

01:12:20.000 They got tons and tons of cocaine.

01:12:23.000 Guys, what are you doing?

01:12:26.000 What a waste.

01:12:27.000 What a waste of time and money.

01:12:29.000 You prevented what?

01:12:30.000 A bunch of dudes talking too much and staying up late, working on a sales deal?

01:12:36.000 Great.

01:12:37.000 17,000 pounds of chatty Kathys are now prevented.

01:12:43.000 I love you guys.

01:12:44.000 I love our military.

01:12:45.000 I love our Coast Guard.

01:12:46.000 I think you'd be a little more useful if we were fighting jihad and other bona fide threats and not wrecking the party.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 25, 2019

S02E64 - IMPEACH WHO?

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