Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E87 - OFF THE CUFF MONDAY

00:00:40.000 you fix the monitor and the thingamadoodle here?

00:00:43.000 That was Ings she's from Seattle She plays sweet licks and everyone loves them. 1.00

00:00:50.000 I listen to KEXP a lot, Hipster Station that's out of Seattle.

00:00:54.000 So I end up with a disproportionate interest, knowledge of Seattle rock.

00:01:00.000 These are handy, aren't they?

00:01:02.000 These little hand combs.

00:01:03.000 I was stretching in bed the other night, and I went, and my hand sort of touched my hair, and four hairs got stuck between my hand and the headboard.

00:01:17.000 As I pulled away, I heard them go, and I said to my father, oh, no, I just lost four crucial hairs in an area where I don't want to be losing them.

00:01:27.000 And she goes, you should think about Rogaine.

00:01:29.000 And I go, wait, what?

00:01:32.000 You want me to start taking Rogaine?

00:01:35.000 And she goes, well, I mean, I go, do you not want me to go bald?

00:01:39.000 And she goes, no.

00:01:41.000 And I'm thinking, that's not the deal.

00:01:46.000 It's through thick and through thin, life and death, bald and hair.

00:01:50.000 They say that.

00:01:51.000 That's how it goes.

00:01:53.000 I don't know.

00:01:53.000 And then I was kind of weirded out by that.

00:01:56.000 Through baldness and in hair?

00:01:58.000 You're supposed to say, I don't give a shit.

00:01:58.000 Yeah.

00:02:00.000 Right.

00:02:02.000 But then she sensed that I was kind of weirded out.

00:02:05.000 And then she goes, well, do you want me to go bald?

00:02:06.000 I go, you're a girl.

00:02:10.000 Yeah.

00:02:11.000 It doesn't happen.

00:02:12.000 It's like, how about this?

00:02:15.000 I don't want you to go through menopause.

00:02:16.000 Booyah.

00:02:17.000 Yes, I do.

00:02:18.000 You can jizz in them.

00:02:18.000 No periods.

00:02:19.000 Oh.

00:02:19.000 It's awesome.

00:02:20.000 But then they get wacky.

00:02:21.000 Wacky, schmacky.

00:02:24.000 Wacky, tabacky.

00:02:26.000 um we're gonna try a new thing today folks we have no agenda no notes no nothing this is going to be more like the podcast our old podcast that the fans are complaining that the new the podcast has just become a way to sell free speech.tv yeah I'm sorry your free shit isn't coming at you the way you want it to I'm sorry this free benefit concert isn't up your alley you guys pay so if we're going to have a fun off-the-cuff hang sesh it should be with you guys not a bunch

00:02:56.000 fucking strangers. 0.94

00:02:57.000 I know.

00:02:58.000 True.

00:02:58.000 I woke up with a bad feeling that I'm going to get sued.

00:03:02.000 Which is one of the reasons I'm so cheap, by the way.

00:03:07.000 I like to have a buffer, a nest egg, for emergencies.

00:03:10.000 I'm like a squirrel.

00:03:11.000 Always saving stuff.

00:03:13.000 I'm not a check-to-check dude like you.

00:03:14.000 I do kind of check-to-check.

00:03:16.000 I almost said the N word there. 0.91

00:03:18.000 Check-to-check nagger. 0.77

00:03:20.000 You almost said that?

00:03:22.000 Yeah.

00:03:22.000 If I did use that epithet, I would have used it with an A. Not a hardy R. Hardy R. Hardy R. And being good at it, if you will.

00:03:31.000 We got a letter from some German guy.

00:03:34.000 I'm sure I can find it.

00:03:35.000 We'll do You Got Mail.

00:03:36.000 You Got Mail.

00:03:37.000 We'll do Gavin's Mailbag.

00:03:41.000 Is that what it's called?

00:03:42.000 Ryan's Mailbag?

00:03:43.000 We'll do that.

00:03:43.000 No, it's Gavin's Mailbag.

00:03:45.000 But some German guy goes, yeah, you didn't invent the video drops.

00:03:48.000 That was in a popular German show I used to watch as a kid.

00:03:51.000 And then he showed me this thing that was just the Jesse Waters thing where you're showing a normal show and then you jump in with all these edited things.

00:03:58.000 He's doing Fred drops like on Howard Stern where it's just like when we're talking about farts.

00:04:06.000 But instead of a sound, it's a video.

00:04:08.000 That's us.

00:04:09.000 I hate this fucking shit.

00:04:12.000 All right, Ryan, calm down.

00:04:14.000 We invented that.

00:04:17.000 I wonder if you can make a board for yourself.

00:04:21.000 I got iPads out the wazoo at home, by the way.

00:04:24.000 That would help a lot.

00:04:25.000 Yeah?

00:04:26.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:04:27.000 You like that, you little bitch? 1.00

00:04:28.000 Yeah, I think that's pretty cool.

00:04:31.000 So let's begin the show with just rapping about our weekend, bro.

00:04:35.000 My weekend was amazing.

00:04:35.000 Broseph.

00:04:37.000 Very action-packed.

00:04:38.000 So Robin here is likely incapable of competing with Batman.

00:04:43.000 Now, why would you say that?

00:04:44.000 Oh, that Robin.

00:04:45.000 Oh, I never thought about that.

00:04:46.000 Howard Stern's Robin is Robin.

00:04:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:04:49.000 I never thought of that.

00:04:49.000 Me neither.

00:04:50.000 He's Batman.

00:04:51.000 She's Robin.

00:04:52.000 I used to hate her, but I listen to Howard Stern in the car every day, and she really glues the show together.

00:05:00.000 I read her book, her autobiography.

00:05:02.000 I heard it was pretty crazy stuff, right?

00:05:04.000 She got...

00:05:05.000 Yeah, fingered by her dad.

00:05:06.000 Ew.

00:05:06.000 Yeah.

00:05:07.000 Her dad married her mom, said she's the ugliest woman I ever met. 1.00

00:05:12.000 Oh, my God.

00:05:14.000 But the weird thing is her black radicalization. 0.86

00:05:19.000 She claims it was because she had this friend, and then she was at a party, and the friend acted like she didn't know her, a white friend.

00:05:26.000 And ever since then, she was Farrakhan.

00:05:28.000 I don't know.

00:05:31.000 Ooh, I should put that little mouse next to Pee Wee. 1.00

00:05:35.000 What mouse?

00:05:37.000 Right there.

00:05:37.000 What little mouse?

00:05:40.000 This mouse.

00:05:41.000 That would...

00:05:41.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:42.000 You would see his face.

00:05:43.000 And it would hide there.

00:05:43.000 Yeah.

00:05:44.000 There's something hanging back there.

00:05:46.000 Wouldn't he be cute there?

00:05:49.000 I believe it to be true.

00:05:51.000 I saw a really good show speaking of Farrakhan.

00:05:53.000 I don't know if he's...

00:05:55.000 Farrakhan's a prophet that I think you ought to listen to.

00:05:56.000 That was terrifying.

00:05:58.000 I like...

00:05:58.000 Public Enemy.

00:06:00.000 Imagine you had a white country song going, Richard Spencer is a guy that I think you ought to listen to.

00:06:05.000 Yeah, the most radical...

00:06:07.000 We have...

00:06:08.000 Professor Griff, of Public Enemy, has the same politics as Richard Spencer.

00:06:12.000 He wants segregation.

00:06:14.000 He doesn't want it government sanctified, but he wants blacks to have their own... 0.99

00:06:19.000 Actually, Richard Spencer wants blacks out of the country entirely.

00:06:21.000 But Professor Griff says, all right, that's not going to happen, but let's do like...

00:06:25.000 Florida...

00:06:27.000 Maybe...

00:06:29.000 North Carolina South Carolina like he wants to choose about six states that's how they move too how does that work with the mulattoes and the mixed race couples? 1.00

00:06:41.000 Yeah, do they get booted out?

00:06:41.000 That's interesting.

00:06:43.000 I don't know, but what's going on with your camera?

00:06:45.000 It's taking up way too much of my life.

00:06:47.000 Oh, no, I was just.

00:06:48.000 I haven't said anything like I haven't said enough for me to warrant.

00:06:52.000 The framing of your camera is taking up, is showing too much of my self.

00:06:52.000 No, look at that.

00:06:57.000 It should be zoomed in on you.

00:06:58.000 Oh.

00:07:00.000 Or tilted or something.

00:07:03.000 Like, you see you too much.

00:07:05.000 Yeah.

00:07:06.000 Yeah, I'm trying to fix that.

00:07:07.000 I got angles.

00:07:08.000 You just, yeah, you just angle it.

00:07:10.000 But I had a cigar yesterday at the local place, and they were watching this show, and I thought it was a movie.

00:07:16.000 It was so good.

00:07:16.000 Vincent D'Anofrio's in it.

00:07:17.000 All the guys from all the gangster movies are in it.

00:07:20.000 It's called Godfather of Harlem, and it's really good.

00:07:24.000 Now, it's very racy.

00:07:25.000 There's a lot of Guinea.

00:07:26.000 There's a lot of N-word.

00:07:28.000 Forrest Whitaker is the main guy in it.

00:07:29.000 They have Malcolm Maxi's a character in it.

00:07:33.000 Adams pull up the TV series.

00:07:37.000 Yeah, it's on Epics.

00:07:38.000 It's a TV series, but it's done.

00:07:40.000 I hate when they do this.

00:07:43.000 Oh, you got it?

00:07:44.000 Okay.

00:07:44.000 Yeah, it's good.

00:07:45.000 Let me see.

00:07:46.000 I hate when you got to sign up.

00:07:47.000 It's like free speech.tv.

00:07:48.000 I hate when you have to sign up for shit.

00:07:49.000 It's really becoming a thing now.

00:07:52.000 We were talking about this right before the Nesh thing.

00:07:56.000 Me and the crew.

00:07:59.000 How you have to go from TV stuff to just all these different subscriptions.

00:08:02.000 Hulu, Netflix, blah, blah, blah.

00:08:05.000 Well, you have your, it's almost like your bands.

00:08:07.000 Like you have your, you should probably have like three or four.

00:08:11.000 And that's it.

00:08:12.000 And you don't watch TV.

00:08:13.000 Yeah.

00:08:14.000 That's why I like to keep the show down to an hour because you shouldn't be watching more than an hour of the G a day.

00:08:19.000 Yeah, you got to go out there and do something.

00:08:21.000 You got to have your own thoughts.

00:08:23.000 That's what I've been trying to get away from my phone.

00:08:26.000 I want to get out of my head.

00:08:27.000 That's the beauty of boxing.

00:08:28.000 You get out of your head.

00:08:30.000 This looks cool.

00:08:31.000 I'm gonna shoot this cow. 1.00

00:08:42.000 That's my dead cow. 1.00

00:08:43.000 Wait, what?

00:08:46.000 I'll shoot you right in the dead pig. 0.99

00:08:48.000 No.

00:08:49.000 Dude, now I have to get a bullet out of that pig if I'm going to have a selling. 1.00

00:08:52.000 Why'd you do that?

00:08:53.000 I have it.

00:08:54.000 You just cost me $40 to $50.

00:08:56.000 Been a long time, Joe.

00:08:58.000 It's 220s down the drain.

00:09:00.000 Just because you come from Sugar Hill, think you can play me.

00:09:04.000 I heard you got out, brother.

00:09:05.000 What is it you want from me, mom?

00:09:07.000 There's something I want you to see.

00:09:09.000 More heroin comes out of these Project Towers than any other place in Harlem.

00:09:14.000 So.

00:09:15.000 Wouldn't like this winner with away.

00:09:17.000 You know what I saw the other day?

00:09:18.000 Yeah.

00:09:19.000 That is, it's so good that you're watching it going, I looked over my wife and I went, this is awesome.

00:09:25.000 Nice.

00:09:26.000 Angel has fallen.

00:09:29.000 It's about these contractors who are pissed that the new president isn't hiring them to go overseas.

00:09:35.000 What are they called?

00:09:36.000 Blackwater?

00:09:36.000 Black.

00:09:37.000 Blackwater.

00:09:38.000 It's basically Blackwater pissed at the president.

00:09:41.000 And so they frame his number one bodyguard.

00:09:45.000 And it has a lot of action.

00:09:48.000 A lot of action.

00:09:50.000 This is Jared.

00:09:51.000 Not going to lie.

00:09:52.000 Gerard.

00:09:53.000 Gerard Butler, the Glass Region.

00:09:56.000 It's cold out here.

00:09:58.000 It's cold out here.

00:09:59.000 He loves Open Anthony, by the way.

00:10:01.000 Oh, really?

00:10:01.000 Why do we?

00:10:02.000 Yeah, they did an interview with him.

00:10:02.000 He's like, yeah, I listen to you all the time.

00:10:04.000 And he's dropping references.

00:10:07.000 By the way, just pause.

00:10:08.000 Isn't it funny how black actors can be disfigured and still famous? 1.00

00:10:12.000 Like Forrest Whitaker was shot in the eye.

00:10:16.000 He has 1.5 eyes.

00:10:20.000 Yes.

00:10:22.000 If you were his doctor and he was in there going, how is it, Doc?

00:10:26.000 And the doctor would have to say, you're never going to act again.

00:10:30.000 You lost 0.5 eyes.

00:10:32.000 And he's like, no, I think I'll have my own show about being a gangster in Harlem.

00:10:36.000 And then I was watching this movie, looking at fucking Morgan Spurlock's face, Morgan Freeman, and he...

00:10:47.000 They call it like cookie crisps.

00:10:50.000 Yeah, it's not just a couple moles.

00:10:53.000 He's been shot in the face with raisin buckshot.

00:10:58.000 And then there's entire dark patches.

00:11:01.000 Like he's a new race. 0.99

00:11:05.000 That is interesting.

00:11:06.000 He's the victim of an acid attack.

00:11:08.000 And there's a scene at the end where he's like...

00:11:15.000 Okay, I won't say it the context, but there's a scene towards the end where you see his face super close up and you're like, Jesus Christ.

00:11:22.000 Is there Land Rover from Mars about to walk over that fucking thing?

00:11:26.000 Did NASA promote this?

00:11:27.000 Look at that young picture.

00:11:28.000 Was he always a speckled face?

00:11:30.000 I don't see the speckles there.

00:11:32.000 It's hard to tell without resolution, but it seems normal.

00:11:34.000 Dude, he's got a handful of raisins glued to his face.

00:11:38.000 Yeah, his face is sponsored by Sunmaid.

00:11:42.000 Yeah, there's a couple raisins on there starting. 0.94

00:11:44.000 They've developed over time.

00:11:45.000 That's the baby raisin's face.

00:11:46.000 They're sunspots.

00:11:48.000 He's like a tree with the oak rings.

00:11:49.000 You can age him by his raisins.

00:11:51.000 You can tell how long the winter's going to be.

00:11:53.000 Two scoops of raisins in the package of Morgan Freeman's face.

00:11:56.000 Based on the shadow of his moles, you can tell if we're going to get another month of winter or not.

00:12:01.000 You can tell if we're going to get another boring movie.

00:12:04.000 His eyes just turned blue, or does he have blue eyes?

00:12:07.000 Or are they so bad they're glaucoma ink blue?

00:12:09.000 I don't fucking know.

00:12:10.000 Maybe it's rabies.

00:12:12.000 Didn't he fuck like his granddaughters?

00:12:14.000 Raisins and rabies.

00:12:16.000 Didn't he fuck his granddaughter? 0.99

00:12:17.000 The one that married her?

00:12:18.000 I think, right?

00:12:19.000 Who married his granddaughter as her granddaughter's friend?

00:12:22.000 There's something real creepy going on.

00:12:24.000 And she died.

00:12:26.000 Part of a cult thing, some sort of seance or something.

00:12:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:30.000 What?

00:12:30.000 Yep.

00:12:31.000 Well, now we're off on a tangent.

00:12:33.000 See, that's what happens when the show is just an amorphous blob.

00:12:37.000 Daughter.

00:12:38.000 So Angel Has Fallen is about...

00:12:47.000 And yeah, the bad guys are white.

00:12:49.000 I'd like them to be terrorists.

00:12:50.000 But terrorists are kind of clowns, too.

00:12:52.000 So these guys that he's up against are the best in the world.

00:12:55.000 They're ex-Green Berets, ex-Marines, ex-military.

00:12:59.000 So they're all really good at their jobs.

00:13:00.000 And they have better technology than America.

00:13:03.000 So America doesn't know what to do.

00:13:04.000 Oh, God, I hate your webcam shit.

00:13:08.000 Look at those.

00:13:13.000 That scene's awesome.

00:13:15.000 Look at that guy flying in the air.

00:13:16.000 Was that CGI?

00:13:17.000 How did they do that?

00:13:18.000 He stumped in, ran, and jumped off a trampoline.

00:13:21.000 That's real.

00:13:26.000 Wow.

00:13:28.000 This is just one second.

00:13:29.000 And it's not like there's this one crazy climax.

00:13:32.000 This is the beginning of the movie.

00:13:33.000 Is this the trailer?

00:13:35.000 Why is the trailer just playing the movie?

00:13:37.000 It's kind of a great idea because this is the hook.

00:13:40.000 And then you just play the hook.

00:13:41.000 You're like, yeah, you're going to see the rest.

00:13:42.000 Get down, Raisin Face. 1.00

00:13:45.000 My brain.

00:13:45.000 You're going to wash these fucking raisins off your face.

00:13:49.000 We got to get some coral.

00:13:50.000 And then he comes up.

00:13:51.000 Did it work?

00:13:53.000 No, fuck.

00:13:54.000 My raisins are boring.

00:13:55.000 I'll never sink to the bottom.

00:13:57.000 Of course, Jada Pinkett Smith, the small black woman, is the genius who solves everything. 1.00

00:14:02.000 Now, you're going to be mad, but I bought another video game.

00:14:06.000 And in it, the two it, if you will.

00:14:09.000 I can't even hear the word it without seeing Gary Cole.

00:14:12.000 In it, if you will.

00:14:13.000 If you will.

00:14:14.000 And I'll be at an important meeting.

00:14:16.000 Like, well, if the capital gains tax is 20%, then maybe we should put the rest in real estate, and that will really do it.

00:14:23.000 And I go, if you will.

00:14:26.000 It's a curse.

00:14:28.000 There we go.

00:14:28.000 That's cookie crisp.

00:14:30.000 What is going on, dude?

00:14:31.000 It's cookie crisp disease.

00:14:33.000 I want to take a solding iron or some liquid nitrogen and just like, zap him off.

00:14:39.000 Yeah, that seems unreasonable.

00:14:41.000 He's a freak.

00:14:43.000 Him and what's his name, Lawrence Fishburne?

00:14:45.000 Is that who it was?

00:14:45.000 No.

00:14:46.000 Lawrence Fishburne's got a crater face.

00:14:50.000 Lawrence Fishburne, but the guy we just saw, Forrest Whitaker.

00:14:52.000 Force Whitaker. 0.68

00:14:52.000 He has Foggy Eye. 0.68

00:14:53.000 Go back to Angel Has Fallen.

00:14:56.000 Is that what it's called?

00:14:57.000 Angel Has Fallen.

00:14:59.000 Angel Has Fallen.

00:15:00.000 Ryan.

00:15:01.000 Angel has fallen.

00:15:02.000 Oh, something crazy.

00:15:08.000 Nick Nolte's in it.

00:15:09.000 Oh, cool.

00:15:11.000 We always joke because Nick Nolty's such a drunk that he doesn't know he's in a movie.

00:15:16.000 And when the bad guy is punching him, he's like, the guy who was at the catering truck just punched me really hard.

00:15:24.000 He was super nice to me at lunch, and then he grabbed me and threw me down.

00:15:26.000 I got a story on the subject, on the...

00:15:34.000 The area of Tropic Thunder when they were shooting.

00:15:38.000 On the set.

00:15:40.000 Nick Nolte was in his trailer, and he was so fucking wasted that he shit his pants.

00:15:48.000 No.

00:15:49.000 And then he thought, I lit up.

00:15:53.000 But I don't have any pants.

00:15:55.000 No problem.

00:15:57.000 So when the PA went to get him for a scene, he was there with duct tape and a garbage bag making pants.

00:16:06.000 Wow.

00:16:07.000 He had like a leg and a half.

00:16:09.000 He had Force Whitaker eyes worth of pant legs with duct tape and a contractor bag as he was fashioning what could have been kind of sexy, almost black leather pants to wear because his had shit all over them.

00:16:24.000 He's probably done it so often he's good at making garbage pants.

00:16:27.000 Yeah, well, that's the role he played too in the movie.

00:16:29.000 I don't think he knew when they were rolling and when they were not.

00:16:32.000 Maybe he's a method actor.

00:16:33.000 Yeah, he's really good at playing a drunk.

00:16:36.000 I thought my character would shit my pants.

00:16:38.000 Go play that for a sec.

00:16:39.000 You don't just show the picture and not play anything.

00:16:42.000 Couldn't find a Dixie coon skin with a high hooker holding your prick and showing you the way. 1.00

00:16:48.000 Okay.

00:16:55.000 What?

00:16:57.000 You're a wife. 0.76

00:17:00.000 You love Steve Coogan.

00:17:02.000 I love Coogan.

00:17:03.000 You're a Cooganer. 1.00

00:17:04.000 It's like a Cougar, but for men who like Steve Coogan.

00:17:07.000 Cook of the mouse or something.

00:17:09.000 I don't know.

00:17:09.000 All right, so that's enough.

00:17:11.000 Coogan's the best.

00:17:12.000 I don't know what it is.

00:17:14.000 We last saw you Thursday, right?

00:17:16.000 Thursday we did the greatest hits show.

00:17:18.000 I felt kind of bad because it was so heavily marketing and not just shooting the shit.

00:17:23.000 I have an idea.

00:17:24.000 What?

00:17:25.000 Tell me if it's lousy.

00:17:26.000 We do a show that is from the desk like this, meant for YouTube, and it's pre-produced.

00:17:33.000 We shoot it beforehand.

00:17:34.000 We set up the clips.

00:17:35.000 We have a little bit of fun.

00:17:36.000 And then we just put it to YouTube instead of putting the live show.

00:17:41.000 Yeah, your idea involves me doing an extra 25% work.

00:17:45.000 Well, just setting up a clip.

00:17:46.000 going to be mostly just cutting the clips perfectly.

00:17:48.000 And so it's going to be you just kind of Any is so Friday was Milo's show.

00:18:05.000 What did we do in the day?

00:18:07.000 I know what I did to my kid.

00:18:08.000 My son, there's a thing with kids that are like 10 or 11, actually all kids, but it gets better at 10 or 11.

00:18:14.000 It still exists at 6 and it still exists in the teens where they don't want to wear a jacket.

00:18:19.000 No one tells you what you're signing up for when you become a parent.

00:18:22.000 I assumed the trouble would be like fights, bullies, I don't know, grades.

00:18:27.000 I have to do his homework.

00:18:29.000 Never comes up.

00:18:30.000 There's no bullies.

00:18:30.000 There's no grades.

00:18:32.000 The trouble is screens.

00:18:34.000 50% of your job as a father is getting the screens away and monitoring screen time and making sure that there's no porn.

00:18:41.000 Everything is parent protected on all the devices.

00:18:45.000 And they're not just watching TikTok.

00:18:47.000 They're playing Minecraft if they are in their allotted screen time.

00:18:50.000 It's like being a corrections officer.

00:18:52.000 And then another huge part of it is pushing jackets like you're a fucking crack dealer.

00:19:00.000 Come on, man, try it, man.

00:19:02.000 It's really warm.

00:19:04.000 So I just got sick of it.

00:19:05.000 I'd catch him sneaking out in his shorts in the winter.

00:19:09.000 And I just said last week, I went, you know what?

00:19:12.000 Fuck it.

00:19:13.000 You win.

00:19:14.000 I don't care anymore.

00:19:16.000 I read that book, That Which Does Not Kill Us, about Wynn Hoff and cold training.

00:19:22.000 Yes.

00:19:22.000 And if you can get it, look how fat I am these days.

00:19:25.000 My plaid is bending.

00:19:28.000 If you can produce more brown Fat and learn to breathe in the cold.

00:19:32.000 It's very healthy for you.

00:19:33.000 So I thought, best case scenario, you learn how to survive the cold better than others.

00:19:40.000 Worst case scenario, you get super sick.

00:19:42.000 But I used to do this when they were younger.

00:19:44.000 I do this thing called Kids' Day, where you do whatever the fuck you want, eat whatever you want.

00:19:50.000 And they would always just watch TV, stay up till four.

00:19:53.000 They'd watch TV for like 20 of the 24 hours, eat junk food, get super sick, and the next day they were just devastated.

00:20:00.000 And I'd go, see, that's why I have rules.

00:20:03.000 So with my middle kid, I just said, fine, go nuts, buddy.

00:20:08.000 And he went out in 30-degree weather with just shorts on and a sweatshirt.

00:20:14.000 And I saw him shivering in the street.

00:20:17.000 I was driving around.

00:20:18.000 I was driving to go into the city on Saturday.

00:20:20.000 I don't really remember my Friday.

00:20:22.000 And I saw him just shivering on the street.

00:20:25.000 And I just thought, good, good.

00:20:27.000 It's a lesson learned.

00:20:28.000 And then today I hear him, and he's in the car and he's about to puke.

00:20:32.000 He has a fever.

00:20:34.000 Wow.

00:20:35.000 And I go, I go over to his bed this morning and he's going, oh, it's a rash on his face because your body's cooking the virus, right?

00:20:45.000 That's what a fever is.

00:20:46.000 It's trying to microwave the virus to death.

00:20:49.000 And the virus will have side effects, like little bumps all over your face.

00:20:53.000 So I go, I hate to tell you, dude, but this was the setup.

00:20:57.000 I warned you.

00:20:58.000 And you learned the hard way.

00:20:59.000 And you know what he said?

00:21:01.000 What?

00:21:01.000 Classic, my eldest boy.

00:21:04.000 He goes, you could have brought me pants.

00:21:10.000 Like I see him on the screen go, oh shit.

00:21:16.000 Here's a hat.

00:21:17.000 Are you okay?

00:21:18.000 Here's a hug.

00:21:19.000 No, dude, this is what you signed up for.

00:21:21.000 So now the rule is, if it's below 40, then you have to wear...

00:21:30.000 50 to 40, you have to wear pants.

00:21:32.000 Below 40, you got to wear a jacket and a hat.

00:21:34.000 I love going out with no coat, no jacket.

00:21:38.000 Last year, I actually did the Wim Hof method.

00:21:39.000 Remember, I was doing the ice baths?

00:21:41.000 Yeah.

00:21:41.000 Ice baths, you know, all that.

00:21:44.000 And then, um, but why do people say you can get a cold from the temperature being low?

00:21:49.000 Everybody tells me it's a myth, but I think you get a cold when you're in the cold.

00:21:54.000 Everybody tells you that's a myth.

00:21:56.000 Here's the problem with your minute brain.

00:21:58.000 And by the way, hanging out with you so much was giving me this thirst for knowledge because I felt like I was playing golf with a toddler.

00:22:06.000 And I realized that I had an IQ deficit hanging out with you.

00:22:11.000 And so last night I started reading all these intellectual books and it refurbished my IQ.

00:22:17.000 And it reminded me of when my wife was pregnant, she'd have a craving. 1.00

00:22:22.000 And she would just go, I don't know why, but and I would say, follow the craving, follow the craving.

00:22:26.000 It's there for a reason.

00:22:27.000 So she's like, okay.

00:22:28.000 And she ate about 350 grapefruits.

00:22:31.000 Like I could barely lift the garbage bag with the grapefruit husks.

00:22:35.000 And we researched later and discovered that our daughter in her was going through the part of the development that was the brain.

00:22:44.000 They were making the brain at that point.

00:22:46.000 And the brain uses citric acid.

00:22:48.000 So the body sent out a craving and said, get citric acid.

00:22:53.000 When I hang out with Detective Shitty, the brain says, you have an IQ deficit.

00:22:59.000 Go read Gulag Archipelago and Google Archipelago.

00:23:05.000 So Gulag Archipelago is by this Russian author, Shenzitsyn or something, and it's sort of like...

00:23:15.000 It's.

00:23:16.000 Oh, wow.

00:23:16.000 And it's just him, first-hand accounts of being on the Russian Gulag in the re-education camps.

00:23:22.000 And then Michael Rechtenwald is that anti-NYC, anti-PC NYU professor who was fired for being an anti-PC NYU professor, even though the guy was basically a communist, but he was a rational leftist, and that's not good enough for academia these days.

00:23:38.000 So he was fired, well, retired.

00:23:41.000 And I started reading his book.

00:23:42.000 And you know how you hate reading?

00:23:44.000 Yeah.

00:23:45.000 Here's a tip.

00:23:46.000 First of all, if you're reading fiction, fiction is for fags, you have to follow the arc of the stories. 1.00

00:23:53.000 You can't jump around.

00:23:54.000 Indulge yourself.

00:23:55.000 That's the beauty of nonfiction.

00:23:57.000 It's almost like a record.

00:23:59.000 Just leave.

00:24:00.000 If the chapter's boring, like he's got this chapter, Google Marxism.

00:24:05.000 It's a little too academic for my taste.

00:24:06.000 And I wanted to jump up to people who have been deplatformed.

00:24:10.000 I just jumped up.

00:24:12.000 You don't have to read the whole book.

00:24:14.000 You don't have to eat your vegetables.

00:24:16.000 I've read mostly nonfiction.

00:24:18.000 I've always have a thirst for it.

00:24:20.000 People hop around.

00:24:21.000 Are you bored?

00:24:21.000 And here's another thing.

00:24:23.000 Say you sort of space out and you lose a page.

00:24:26.000 Lose a page.

00:24:27.000 I think school really fucked us when it comes to reading books.

00:24:31.000 Oh, I see where you're being.

00:24:32.000 Because, yeah, I always shame myself to go back.

00:24:34.000 Yeah, you fucked up.

00:24:35.000 That's going to be on the test.

00:24:36.000 None of it's going to be on the test.

00:24:38.000 You can retain 5%.

00:24:40.000 That's fine.

00:24:41.000 No one's going to quiz you.

00:24:43.000 You don't have to become an expert on everything you read.

00:24:46.000 You don't have to finish the whole thing.

00:24:47.000 You can just fart around.

00:24:50.000 I think the secret to getting you back into books is to treat them as records.

00:24:53.000 Play a few songs.

00:24:54.000 If you're not liking that, put that away and go put on a new album.

00:24:59.000 Hop around.

00:25:00.000 Next to my desk downstairs, I've got like 50 books.

00:25:05.000 No, that's not true.

00:25:06.000 In my living room, I have about four books at all times.

00:25:10.000 Next to my bed, I have about six.

00:25:12.000 Who knows?

00:25:13.000 Sometimes I'll have a book that I barely dip into.

00:25:15.000 It'll take me years to finish.

00:25:18.000 Some books I never really finish because by the time I'm near the end, I forgot that other part.

00:25:23.000 I'm looking up all the books that I've read before.

00:25:25.000 So I got.

00:25:26.000 They're all children's books.

00:25:27.000 No, they're not.

00:25:28.000 The Elegant Universe is a theoretical physics book by Brian Greene.

00:25:31.000 The pig that wants to be eaten is a, All right, that's enough, Ryan.

00:25:40.000 This is like when you showed us what music you like for 20 minutes.

00:25:45.000 This one's really good, though.

00:25:47.000 It's called Natural History of the Senses, all about...

00:25:55.000 You're like, oh, wow.

00:25:56.000 Okay.

00:25:58.000 That sort of makes me leap.

00:25:59.000 Speaking of leaping all over the place, that will lead me to Sunday, where we had Dinesh D'Souza and Arthur D'Souza Michael Shermer gave me his book.

00:26:10.000 He's an atheist, and it's all about how science has.

00:26:14.000 Why don't you look up Arthur?

00:26:15.000 Michael Shermer, please.

00:26:17.000 Before you go too far, the cold weather thing is.

00:26:20.000 Okay, stop.

00:26:20.000 Let me explain something to you.

00:26:22.000 Sorry, you're right.

00:26:22.000 That was a huge tangent.

00:26:24.000 Your problem is that you're thinking of cold, the disease, and cold, the temperature.

00:26:30.000 Yes, they're synonyms.

00:26:33.000 When you get cold, your immune system is worse at its job because you're vulnerable.

00:26:40.000 You're busy taking care of trying to warm up your body.

00:26:43.000 That means germs can get in easier.

00:26:45.000 The same with being incredibly tired.

00:26:47.000 Say you only sleep three hours a night.

00:26:49.000 You're more likely to get a cold from lack of sleep.

00:26:52.000 Anything that or hungover, anything that leaves you vulnerable leaves you prey to bacteria, and that includes getting cold.

00:26:59.000 So you don't catch a cold from being cold.

00:27:01.000 You catch a cold from having a distracted immune system.

00:27:06.000 Right.

00:27:06.000 And also, the viruses that cause cold spread more easily in lower temperatures.

00:27:12.000 Interesting.

00:27:13.000 On top of that.

00:27:14.000 Maybe they spread more easily because more people have them because their immune systems suck. 0.94

00:27:19.000 Anyway.

00:27:21.000 So look up Michael Sherman's book, Shermer.

00:27:25.000 God damn, his name.

00:27:26.000 There's certain names that are just cursed.

00:27:28.000 I've known about this guy for a while.

00:27:31.000 And he's done a couple Rogans.

00:27:34.000 He's done five, he said.

00:27:36.000 I'd only seen one.

00:27:38.000 But while him and Dinesh were having this debate, and we just covered all the basics, I kind of regret not going with my gut instinct, which was, was it?

00:27:48.000 The moral arc.

00:27:49.000 That's the one I started.

00:27:51.000 Boy, it's hard.

00:27:52.000 It's hard after a hard day's work, too.

00:27:54.000 You sit down, you had a beer, and you're just like, all right, I'm just going to chill.

00:27:58.000 And basically, your brain wants you to read People Magazine and look at their outfits.

00:28:03.000 And then you pick up the moral arc, and you're like, Jesus, what's the subhead say?

00:28:10.000 How science and reason led humanity towards truth, justice, and freedom.

00:28:17.000 Dinesh disagreed with him on that, by the way, and said it was God.

00:28:21.000 So that was interesting.

00:28:22.000 But my first instinct was to say, what conspiracy theories are real?

00:28:27.000 I didn't ask that.

00:28:30.000 And you go, Gavin, why don't you go with your first instinct?

00:28:32.000 Okay, let me explain something.

00:28:34.000 With Gina Belafonte and Ann Coulter, I realized after the talk that I should have said, let's talk about sex.

00:28:40.000 Because Anne has some great theories about how Me Too and all this sort of fear of being a predator makes sex and dating worse.

00:28:48.000 And Gina Belafonte has a 23-year-old daughter who's going through this right now.

00:28:51.000 So it would be a perfect subject.

00:28:53.000 And I didn't do it.

00:28:54.000 And then with Cornell West and Candace Owens, I said, I'm not making that same mistake.

00:28:59.000 Hey, we have a black activist and a black philosopher, I guess I'd call you, Candace.

00:29:04.000 Oh, you're both philosophers, right and left.

00:29:07.000 And, you know, slavery comes up a lot with you two when you're discussing things, segregation.

00:29:11.000 So I think the first question is going to be what everyone thinks it'll be is, what about sex?

00:29:17.000 And I thought that would be a funny way to introduce the show.

00:29:19.000 And they both sort of go, what?

00:29:22.000 And that flopped.

00:29:24.000 So it's a roll of the dice.

00:29:25.000 I thought it was pretty good.

00:29:26.000 It led into a very good discussion about consent.

00:29:28.000 Well, I managed to steer the ship.

00:29:30.000 You did crashing.

00:29:31.000 It was a great yesterday's episode or whenever it was.

00:29:35.000 I forget.

00:29:37.000 It was really good.

00:29:38.000 It was probably the best.

00:29:39.000 And you did amazing, frankly.

00:29:41.000 The Shermer and D'Souza one?

00:29:43.000 Yes.

00:29:44.000 Really?

00:29:45.000 I was riveted.

00:29:46.000 All I could do is look at my audio levels, and I can't look at what's going on, and I was loving it.

00:29:52.000 I was like, this is amazing.

00:29:53.000 Really?

00:29:54.000 Really good.

00:29:55.000 I just thought we said gay marriage, we said abortion, we said trans, and each side had the answer you'd think they'd have. 0.93

00:30:02.000 Yeah.

00:30:02.000 Well, I just thought they were just so articulate with what they were saying.

00:30:06.000 You could hear the same thing being said with a less economy of words and a poorer economy of words, and it kind of doesn't have the same impact.

00:30:15.000 I also felt for a bit there, I felt like Robin Big, Rob Drydeck, who pays a big black guy to be his friend. 0.78

00:30:22.000 I was like, I paid money to hang out with intellectuals.

00:30:26.000 So now it's three intellectuals, Dinesh, Michael, and me.

00:30:31.000 Seven books, seven books, one retarded book. 1.00

00:30:35.000 So I felt kind of cheap.

00:30:38.000 And I felt like I was cheating.

00:30:39.000 Good thing I was behind the bar in an apron, so I didn't act like it was the three amigos. 0.97

00:30:45.000 But yeah, that got kind of weird.

00:30:47.000 One thing that kind of bothered me is when I Michael Shermer, it's not even that hard.

00:31:00.000 I think of Arthur Herman, who's the guy who wrote How the Scots Invented the Modern World.

00:31:05.000 But anyway, he was talking about society and what its basic needs should be.

00:31:10.000 And we talked about the poor and a safety net.

00:31:13.000 And we said, what about Michael brought up, you know, the poor black kid who grew up without a father, born to a drug-addicted mother in the hood, no prospects.

00:31:23.000 He's not going to go to Stanford.

00:31:25.000 He's not going to pull himself up by his boot shops.

00:31:26.000 He doesn't have boots, was Michael's quote.

00:31:29.000 And then later I was saying, well, yeah, that's the beauty of a strong border.

00:31:35.000 Now there's burger flipping jobs in California for that black boy that you just talked about.

00:31:40.000 Now there's construction work.

00:31:41.000 Now there's all kinds of retail and fast food shit for that kid to get started, to work his way up, to get his own independence, to give him self-esteem.

00:31:52.000 And he said, oh, I think we're pretty good on immigration.

00:31:56.000 We're sort of in between, you know, we're not as strict as Japan, but we're not as open as.

00:32:02.000 And then he said some other countries.

00:32:04.000 And I think that was a mistake on his part because there's no one with more open borders than America.

00:32:09.000 There's no one more, come on in, than America, to a fault.

00:32:14.000 Could you imagine Mexicans being replaced with another mass immigration and then their jobs are being taken for even less money?

00:32:23.000 Ryan, they would start rallying.

00:32:24.000 They would travel at some point.

00:32:26.000 What?

00:32:26.000 What do you mean?

00:32:27.000 Get out of the house.

00:32:28.000 What are you saying?

00:32:29.000 That's not possible?

00:32:30.000 That's been going on for millennia.

00:32:32.000 Mexico has a huge problem with illegal immigrants from the worst Central American countries. 1.00

00:32:37.000 No, New York, I mean, not like America.

00:32:41.000 American Mexicans.

00:32:42.000 American Mexicans get taken over by Guatemalan?

00:32:44.000 Yeah, their status being.

00:32:46.000 But in Mexico, they have a major problem with illegal immigration, and what they do is they throw all their illegals into a bus and they take them back over the border.

00:32:54.000 The Caribbean, you turn on public access TV in the Caribbean, Jamaica, all these countries, Barbados, and all they're talking about is illegals from the other islands coming in.

00:33:06.000 We're the only ones who aren't allowed to discuss it.

00:33:10.000 Any his, let me go back now, leaping all over the place.

00:33:15.000 I wish I knew what I did on Friday.

00:33:17.000 I definitely went to the gym.

00:33:18.000 I haven't sparred in a long time.

00:33:21.000 Friday night was You Did Milo.

00:33:25.000 How was that?

00:33:26.000 I haven't watched it yet.

00:33:27.000 It was great.

00:33:27.000 Good episode.

00:33:28.000 So Enrique Tario from the chairman of Proud Boys was supposed to be there, but he, Roger Stone got all his verdict and everything too late.

00:33:36.000 Oh, we haven't even talked about Roger Stone, right?

00:33:38.000 The verdict was since we last saw you?

00:33:40.000 No, we already discussed that.

00:33:42.000 We did a video, a separate video for you.

00:33:43.000 Oh, yeah, of course.

00:33:45.000 But that was Friday.

00:33:48.000 That's what we did Friday.

00:33:49.000 We did the Roger Stone video.

00:33:51.000 Yes.

00:33:52.000 I remember the new because we wanted to get it out before.

00:33:56.000 Oh, that's another video we got to put up is your commercial.

00:33:59.000 Yeah.

00:34:01.000 And then a list of videos.

00:34:02.000 Dear Trump a commercial.

00:34:05.000 I want to record a bunch of stuff for Christmas, too.

00:34:08.000 I have some ideas.

00:34:09.000 Like, one, I want to...

00:34:13.000 I don't think so.

00:34:16.000 What is that?

00:34:16.000 That's Sonic Youth.

00:34:18.000 Oh.

00:34:18.000 Cool thing.

00:34:20.000 One, I want to is to have Milo and I go to a mechanic's garage.

00:34:25.000 I know of a guy in Maryland who's on a lot of car shows.

00:34:30.000 And he could show Milo and I, and I act like the big tough alpha male, but I'm a pussy too.

00:34:37.000 Milo is like 1% more of a pussy than me. 0.99

00:34:40.000 And we learn how to change a tire.

00:34:43.000 No, we'll have a competition to see who can change a tire fastest. 0.97

00:34:46.000 And then the other competition, or not, not the other competition.

00:34:49.000 Then we'll learn how to change oil.

00:34:51.000 Then we'll learn what, like if your car just goes, off some quick fixes you can have, something you should always bring.

00:35:02.000 Then maybe we could do, I want to do four shows.

00:35:04.000 Then maybe we could do like common myths.

00:35:07.000 You know, like for example, you know that glue you can get when you get a flat tire and you put it in the car and you go pss, and then the glue seals the hole and then the aerosol from the can fills up the tire again.

00:35:20.000 But no, now you just glued your tire to your rim and it's a fucking bitch to get off. 1.00

00:35:26.000 So don't use that shit.

00:35:29.000 I'm also a big proponent of driving on the rims.

00:35:32.000 You get a flat, you're in New York City, you're probably going to be near a garage.

00:35:36.000 Drive a few blocks.

00:35:37.000 Terrible advice.

00:35:38.000 Well, that's my advice.

00:35:40.000 We'll learn why that's terrible advice.

00:35:41.000 I also want to watch Withnail and I with Milo.

00:35:45.000 And I think we could spread that out.

00:35:46.000 We should probably also watch a Christmas show.

00:35:49.000 If we watch a Christmas movie and we pause it and comment on it, it could take up a few episodes.

00:35:57.000 Mayhaps.

00:35:59.000 Mayhaps.

00:36:00.000 Let me write that.

00:36:01.000 Well, I won't write that down now.

00:36:02.000 But can you remember?

00:36:04.000 You write it down.

00:36:06.000 So yeah, so Friday we recorded the Roger Stone thing.

00:36:08.000 I sent it to Roger right away without thinking.

00:36:11.000 This is a problem of mine.

00:36:13.000 I'm not couth.

00:36:15.000 So I'll say things like, my dog's a retard in front of someone with Down syndrome. 1.00

00:36:21.000 Or I'll say, yeah, he's a fucker.

00:36:23.000 He got caught cheating on his wife like a fucking idiot.

00:36:26.000 And then there'll be a guy who just got back with his wife after being caught cheating.

00:36:30.000 And I will have said that right in front of him.

00:36:32.000 It's a curse.

00:36:34.000 I'm blind.

00:36:35.000 So you sent him the video where you said he's going to die in prison.

00:36:38.000 Okay.

00:36:38.000 Thank you for knowing where I'm going with that.

00:36:41.000 Yeah, I sent him a video and I was like, he's not going to survive.

00:36:44.000 Meanwhile, he just got the news hours ago that he's been found guilty.

00:36:49.000 And then I sent him a video, hey, dude, you're going to fucking die.

00:36:54.000 He's probably thinking, oh, this is good.

00:36:56.000 At least I got my friends to make me feel better.

00:36:59.000 I got support.

00:36:59.000 Dude, I'm being paranoid.

00:37:01.000 Let me call my friends.

00:37:02.000 And they'll tell me, you're not going to die, dude.

00:37:04.000 Relax.

00:37:05.000 No, you're going to die.

00:37:07.000 Yeah, you're going to fucking die.

00:37:09.000 Jesus.

00:37:11.000 Well, I don't know.

00:37:15.000 I don't know.

00:37:16.000 Let's say that.

00:37:16.000 There's plenty of best case scenarios.

00:37:18.000 Here's a pretty good case scenario.

00:37:19.000 I say he serves three.

00:37:20.000 Ready for this?

00:37:21.000 He does the appeal.

00:37:23.000 He's found guilty again on the appeal.

00:37:26.000 He gets three years, but it doesn't start until what would be January, February, March.

00:37:33.000 Let's say May.

00:37:36.000 So he's taken off to prison in jail in May.

00:37:39.000 Suspended sentence, right?

00:37:41.000 What does that mean?

00:37:42.000 When you get the sentence, but then you go to jail afterwards.

00:37:45.000 There's some time between when you go to jail and sentence.

00:37:50.000 What?

00:37:50.000 No, no, he's free the whole time.

00:37:52.000 Until he goes, until the man.

00:37:57.000 So he remains free until May.

00:37:59.000 And, of course, this is still hundreds of thousands of dollars.

00:38:02.000 So sometimes you're like, can I just go to fucking prison?

00:38:06.000 I don't have another million on me.

00:38:09.000 So May he goes and he gets Pensacola is one of the few prisons that's still minimum security.

00:38:18.000 They're kind of getting rid of those.

00:38:20.000 They tend to be all maximum security these days, but there are still a smattering of the ones where there's no gate.

00:38:27.000 You can leave.

00:38:29.000 Walk out.

00:38:30.000 Go ahead.

00:38:30.000 Escape from prison.

00:38:32.000 You'll be in big shit because you escaped from prison.

00:38:34.000 It's the same as if you scaled a fence, but there's no fence.

00:38:38.000 There's no guards.

00:38:39.000 And you can fish.

00:38:40.000 Like Enrique went to a jail like that.

00:38:43.000 He would fish.

00:38:43.000 He played golf sometimes.

00:38:45.000 Wow.

00:38:45.000 He had a job.

00:38:48.000 I was like, can I go there?

00:38:50.000 What crime can I do?

00:38:53.000 So let's say he's in somewhere like that.

00:38:55.000 Minimum security.

00:38:56.000 He can see his daughter and his wife a lot.

00:38:58.000 Conjugal visits, whatever.

00:39:00.000 And then, so that's May, June, July, August, September, October, November.

00:39:04.000 Seven months, Trump pardons him in December a year from now.

00:39:11.000 So that'd be nine months.

00:39:13.000 That's the best case scenario, I say, which isn't great.

00:39:18.000 Anyway, so you did that.

00:39:19.000 Then you did Milo.

00:39:20.000 Milo was mad and Ricky didn't make it.

00:39:22.000 There was that big, tall dude.

00:39:23.000 I don't know what name he's going by now.

00:39:25.000 Joe.

00:39:25.000 Yeah, Joe.

00:39:26.000 And then who was the other guest?

00:39:28.000 Denise McAllister.

00:39:30.000 She wrote a book.

00:39:31.000 She had a falling out with Megan McCain, but she just wrote a book about things that men want to say to women but can't.

00:39:38.000 What's that got to do with Joe Biggs?

00:39:40.000 Oh, I'm just on the site.

00:39:42.000 I just opened up the browser, as you saw.

00:39:44.000 Right.

00:39:44.000 Well, you're talking.

00:39:45.000 Shouldn't we see your face?

00:39:46.000 See, that's what I was thinking.

00:39:48.000 I was thinking, this went through my head.

00:39:50.000 Look at my face, or while I'm talking about the book, why aren't you pulling up the book?

00:39:54.000 You're in my head.

00:39:55.000 Before you speak.

00:39:56.000 Yeah.

00:39:56.000 It's called like wanting to do a good job.

00:39:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:58.000 So I deterred away.

00:40:00.000 Don't worry about finding the visuals when you're talking.

00:40:02.000 You can't scratch your belly and scratch your head at the same time.

00:40:04.000 So my face instead of the book.

00:40:06.000 But sometimes, sometimes you want to not see my face and see that, well, why are we looking at your face when you want to?

00:40:13.000 Anyway, so she had a falling out with Megan McCain.

00:40:14.000 She wrote a book about how men should be men and women should be women, correct?

00:40:17.000 Yeah, she went to Megan McCain's wedding and then she said some stuff.

00:40:20.000 And Megan McCain was like, you were at my wedding.

00:40:23.000 I remember that became a whole meme.

00:40:24.000 Right, right.

00:40:26.000 And so they went through that.

00:40:27.000 He's getting a pretty good guess.

00:40:27.000 It was a good episode.

00:40:28.000 It was a good episode.

00:40:29.000 A lot of, you know, colorful convo, a lot of shots.

00:40:34.000 They did moonshine shots.

00:40:35.000 Oh, I don't like that.

00:40:37.000 It was pretty bad.

00:40:38.000 He poured the moonshine shot into the champagne, and Joe's like, anybody want to take this?

00:40:43.000 I don't.

00:40:43.000 This is gross.

00:40:44.000 And I took it.

00:40:45.000 And it wasn't that bad, frankly.

00:40:47.000 And then afterwards, I think we did karaoke.

00:40:48.000 Did you do moonshine?

00:40:49.000 An Asian man did moonshine? 1.00

00:40:51.000 I'll drink a ton of stuff.

00:40:53.000 I'll do a shot right now.

00:40:54.000 No, I can't.

00:40:55.000 Never mind.

00:40:56.000 I'm so crazy, I'll do a shot right now.

00:40:58.000 No, I can't do that.

00:40:59.000 I got to work.

00:41:00.000 Yeah, I got stuff to do.

00:41:01.000 Yeah, I'm not that crazy.

00:41:03.000 But besides that, I'm psycho.

00:41:06.000 Suicidal.

00:41:07.000 Actually, no, we didn't do karaoke then.

00:41:09.000 All right, so that's that.

00:41:11.000 And when is that up on the site?

00:41:13.000 That's up.

00:41:14.000 Fully, the high-res version, not the live stream.

00:41:18.000 The front is clipped off.

00:41:19.000 We start right with the episode.

00:41:21.000 Toats.

00:41:21.000 Great.

00:41:22.000 All right, so that's Friday.

00:41:24.000 And then Saturday, I had nothing to do with this.

00:41:26.000 Latinos for Trump had a press conference for Max and John, the proud boys who were in prison for four years, who I believe are filing an appeal as we speak.

00:41:37.000 They're filing an appeal today.

00:41:40.000 Now, the next events I'm about to tell you could hurt the appeal or could help the appeal.

00:41:45.000 And I think it's 50-50 either way.

00:41:48.000 I get nervous about all this kind of stuff, but whatever.

00:41:50.000 I'm an old man.

00:41:52.000 So they had a rally in front of Trump Tower that was more just to talk to the press and to get press about Max and John.

00:42:00.000 Because I think a lot of judges like Mark Dwyer and the prosecutor Steinglass, they like to just sort of flex their muscles, show off to Cuomo, put men in cages, and then disappear.

00:42:12.000 Oh, wait, that's a different picture.

00:42:16.000 This was two days ago, frankly.

00:42:20.000 They stole our go back to your mommy's. 1.00

00:42:22.000 Go back home to mommy. 0.51

00:42:24.000 They took that.

00:42:25.000 That's ours.

00:42:26.000 Yeah.

00:42:26.000 That's interesting.

00:42:28.000 They changed the picture.

00:42:30.000 I think the post is sometimes less sympathetic than the daily news.

00:42:35.000 The post before, the picture before was women, Enrique Tario, a big Trump flag, and it said Latinos for Trump.

00:42:45.000 And now they changed it.

00:42:46.000 Look at the authors, by the way.

00:42:48.000 You'll notice when you see a lot of these articles, you look up the author, and it's a child.

00:42:53.000 It's like a little kid.

00:42:56.000 Olivia Benson, I'm familiar with her.

00:42:58.000 Yeah, she's like an antifoot chick. 1.00

00:43:02.000 They're all little rich girls. 0.97

00:43:03.000 So they probably said, yeah, can you change the image?

00:43:07.000 We shouldn't give Latinas for Trump a platform. 1.00

00:43:11.000 Is that her?

00:43:12.000 Yeah.

00:43:12.000 A little girl, a babysitter.

00:43:15.000 We have babysitters telling us what's happening in New York City in the post.

00:43:19.000 So basically, like they went there to do a thing, and then the Antifa came out.

00:43:23.000 They were like, you look up their resume, and it's like, graduated in 2018 from NYU.

00:43:28.000 How'd you get a gig at the post?

00:43:30.000 Yeah, look at him.

00:43:31.000 Look at Ben Cohn.

00:43:33.000 An infant.

00:43:35.000 Is he gay?

00:43:36.000 He looks like a live-action Ken doll.

00:43:41.000 Yeah, he looks gay. 0.63

00:43:42.000 He's got a gay face. 0.99

00:43:43.000 What was that picture of him and that guy with a baby?

00:43:45.000 He looks like the most convincing robot.

00:43:48.000 Yeah.

00:43:50.000 Is that his husband and his kid or his nephew?

00:43:54.000 I don't know.

00:43:56.000 I graduated from NYU in 2018, got married in 2019, and then adopted a baby.

00:44:01.000 I'm one year out of college and I have a husband and a baby.

00:44:04.000 Anyway, so those fuckers changed the picture.

00:44:08.000 They took away.

00:44:09.000 It was a cool picture before, too, because it had the big-breasted Latina, Latinas for Trump. 0.99

00:44:14.000 And they did it for publicity, and they got it.

00:44:17.000 Although I'm mad about that picture.

00:44:19.000 Unless there's more than one article.

00:44:23.000 Let me see here.

00:44:24.000 Hold on a sec.

00:44:26.000 That was the post.

00:44:27.000 This was the post.

00:44:28.000 There we go.

00:44:29.000 Proudboys call Andrew Cuomo, Fredo, and Baby.

00:44:32.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:44:33.000 I'm sorry.

00:44:33.000 Idiot alert.

00:44:35.000 And this is by Craig McCarthy.

00:44:36.000 That's the only article I was talking about.

00:44:37.000 They didn't change the picture.

00:44:38.000 Although, showing Antifa and that other thing is still millennial bias.

00:44:42.000 That's what you see in the post.

00:44:44.000 I can't believe I'm seeing millennial bias.

00:44:45.000 The New York Post is supposed to be the blue-collar paper.

00:44:48.000 That's like what plumbers and construction guys read.

00:44:50.000 But anyway, go back up.

00:44:52.000 So that's just a great image.

00:44:54.000 Latinas for Trump right there. 0.60

00:44:56.000 That's a big guy with a sombrero on her red t-shirt with her huge tits. 1.00

00:44:59.000 God, Latinas have big jugs. 1.00

00:45:01.000 And there's Enrique Tario, and they're talking about political persecution.

00:45:05.000 So Enrique set up that rally for that picture, for this article.

00:45:09.000 It worked.

00:45:11.000 Then that night, somebody could have conceivably been Antifa, but somebody put up banners all over the city.

00:45:25.000 And try the daily news for this.

00:45:28.000 They had some pretty Good ones.

00:45:31.000 Like one of them had Max Hare smirking, and it said smirking in the face of tyranny.

00:45:36.000 It said never surrender, something like that.

00:45:42.000 Yeah, no surrender, no retreat, which the press is listing as Nazi slogans.

00:45:52.000 Never surrender?

00:45:53.000 That's a fucking never surrender.

00:45:57.000 It's a Corey Wade song.

00:45:58.000 That's the coolest one, though, that one you just showed.

00:46:00.000 It has Max Hare in court, and it says smirking in the face of tyranny.

00:46:04.000 Now, Max is having his appeal today.

00:46:07.000 Really?

00:46:08.000 Yeah, is the judge going to go, fuck you, when he sees all these flyers?

00:46:11.000 Or is he going to go, shit, this is not happening in a vacuum?

00:46:14.000 There's a lot of eyes on this case.

00:46:16.000 I better be fair or I'll be known as a corrupt judge.

00:46:19.000 Now, the most controversial one, Andrew Colminko's Frito.

00:46:23.000 The most controversial one was not that.

00:46:26.000 Keep going.

00:46:26.000 Do they have it on?

00:46:28.000 No.

00:46:28.000 It was one in a Jewish neighborhood, the Hasidic Jews.

00:46:32.000 They keep calling it an Orthodox Jew neighborhood.

00:46:33.000 Hasidic Jews in Williamsburg.

00:46:37.000 And it said, Mark Dwyer, pedophiles, X, Proud Patriots, check mark.

00:46:46.000 And it was lampooning the judge, Mark Dwyer, for giving a pedophile three months.

00:46:54.000 There was this serial pedophile rabbi who was molesting eight-year-old boys.

00:47:00.000 Sorry, younger than that, I believe.

00:47:02.000 But he did it eight times.

00:47:04.000 Eight times.

00:47:05.000 So he was caught and arrested.

00:47:07.000 And there was some problem with the evidence or some, they got great lawyers to point out a flaw in the trial.

00:47:12.000 And he ended up, he'd already been in jail for nine months.

00:47:16.000 So Mark Dwyer only gave him a year.

00:47:19.000 Meaning, with time served, he only had three more months.

00:47:22.000 So he got three months for raping children.

00:47:25.000 And Max and John get four years for.

00:47:28.000 Can you not find it?

00:47:29.000 The Dwyer one is not popping up.

00:47:32.000 Maybe because it's so poignant.

00:47:34.000 No, that's not it.

00:47:35.000 I don't want it to pop up.

00:47:36.000 You could look at...

00:47:41.000 Did that ever occur to you?

00:47:43.000 No.

00:47:44.000 Do you look at Telegram?

00:47:45.000 No, I don't look at anything.

00:47:47.000 You ignore all my messages.

00:47:50.000 Basically all of them.

00:47:52.000 On Twitter, my inbox is full.

00:47:57.000 Ain't nobody got time for that.

00:48:01.000 Ain't nobody got time for that.

00:48:04.000 Oh, I just found another Prowboy is going to three years in prison. 0.58

00:48:08.000 Tommy Trigger Tommy, who pulled a knife on those Antifa, who had him cornered.

00:48:13.000 He just got three years.

00:48:14.000 Can you just find this fucking thing, please? 0.98

00:48:17.000 I was going to find the trigger.

00:48:18.000 NYC Antifa Twitter.

00:48:20.000 They've got their angle on it.

00:48:24.000 Well, you can't huff and puff after you just suggested me to find something.

00:48:29.000 That doesn't make sense.

00:48:31.000 At least give me a second to either get it right or fuck it up.

00:48:34.000 Keep going down.

00:48:35.000 There they are.

00:48:36.000 Now, you'll notice that there's a slight bias with...

00:48:43.000 So they've added their three arrows, which was the paramilitary wing of the Communist Party, Socialist Party.

00:48:51.000 They hated commies too, those guys.

00:48:53.000 But I think it's funny that they use that symbol because they are the paramilitary wing of the DNC.

00:48:58.000 Anyway, this, so it says Mark Dwyer, pedophiles Czech, Patriots X. This was portrayed by the left as anti-Semitic because it's in a Hasidic neighborhood.

00:49:10.000 The pedophile priest lives in that neighborhood.

00:49:14.000 So if it was a pedophile Catholic priest that Mark Dwyer got rid of, they'd put it near the Catholic church that the pedophile was associated with.

00:49:20.000 It doesn't seem anti-Semitic to me.

00:49:22.000 Maybe because it has a Jewish man on it. 1.00

00:49:25.000 You can't criticize Jews even if they're serial rapists. 1.00

00:49:29.000 No, they're fun.

00:49:30.000 So yeah, they said that the Proud Boys were perpetuating a stereotype.

00:49:34.000 Now, I've heard people conjecture that it was Antifa who did that to try to make Proud Boys look bad and fuck up their appeal.

00:49:42.000 I don't think it was New York City because they didn't go to the rally and they went to visit Max.

00:49:48.000 Anyway, I didn't go to the rally either.

00:49:50.000 Look at that.

00:49:50.000 Show that thing.

00:49:51.000 This is the funniest thing.

00:49:52.000 United Against Racism and Fascism.

00:49:55.000 Imagine holding that sign.

00:49:57.000 I'm not racist.

00:49:59.000 While we were holding signs in DC, the Shortel Steakout King signs, I felt such like a loser.

00:50:06.000 Oh, really?

00:50:06.000 Holding a sign.

00:50:08.000 Yeah, but that's not what I'm getting at.

00:50:09.000 And the David Shortel thing was funny.

00:50:11.000 This is, I'm against racism.

00:50:13.000 And you're holding a sign that says that.

00:50:15.000 Yeah.

00:50:16.000 0.01% of the population disagrees with you, dude.

00:50:21.000 And the guy holding it, too, was like 45.

00:50:24.000 He probably has a wife and kids.

00:50:25.000 And he's like, sorry, can't play with the kids today.

00:50:28.000 I have to carry a sign that says I'm not a racist.

00:50:32.000 The short tail sign's very cool, but still the idea of holding a sign, like, look at this.

00:50:36.000 Ah, we just did it for a photo app.

00:50:37.000 We didn't like march around.

00:50:40.000 Anyway, so my story is, I'm sitting around Saturday, and I figure I'm going to go to Sacred, the Church of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ, which is a church in Hell's Kitchen, which is near where my Knights of Columbus chapter is.

00:51:03.000 And it's a big Westies church.

00:51:06.000 And the Westies, the gangsters in the 80s, they would go there.

00:51:09.000 There'd be no crime or violence there.

00:51:10.000 Other groups would get together.

00:51:12.000 There'd be no, it was a place where they would come together.

00:51:15.000 And there was no violence at Church of the Sacred Heart.

00:51:17.000 And then Mickey Spillane, the seminal Westies gangster who basically started the Irish Mafia, or at least put it on the map, he married some chick there. 0.52

00:51:29.000 And she was the daughter of a prominent New York politician, basically Andrew Cuomo's daughter.

00:51:36.000 And they merged together the criminal world and the political world.

00:51:41.000 So it was a very big deal, that wedding.

00:51:43.000 And I thought, I should go there.

00:51:46.000 It was a hell of a trek.

00:51:48.000 I don't know.

00:51:48.000 I kind of regretted it.

00:51:50.000 It was all Hispanics. 0.91

00:51:51.000 There was some Puerto Rican woman who was her 50th birthday. 0.98

00:51:56.000 So I was pretty much the only white guy there.

00:51:58.000 Quinceinera.

00:51:59.000 It's called.

00:52:00.000 What?

00:52:00.000 It's actually called a quinceinera.

00:52:04.000 Quinceinera.

00:52:05.000 Yeah.

00:52:07.000 And so they were all going to a birthday party, and I saw the sermon.

00:52:09.000 It was a good sermon.

00:52:10.000 The priest was pretty good, Puerto Rican guy, thick accent, but he did a good job.

00:52:14.000 And oh, wait, I forgot something.

00:52:16.000 Before we abandon these banners, De Blasio and Cuomo had a heart attack.

00:52:24.000 I'm being hyperbolic, Ryan.

00:52:26.000 Okay.

00:52:27.000 So Cuomo released a statement about the banners.

00:52:32.000 He's pissed, especially Cuomo equals Frito.

00:52:36.000 I see Cuomo as Frito.

00:52:37.000 I get the Frito thing.

00:52:38.000 I see him more as Uday Hussein, sinister. 0.99

00:52:41.000 I mean, and it's funny that he's all about equality.

00:52:44.000 He made his bones off his dad's back.

00:52:47.000 His dad made his bones being a homophobe.

00:52:50.000 He ran against Ed Koch, and his motto was vote for Cuomo, not the homo. 1.00

00:52:54.000 And now Andrew Cuomo's Twitter page is him with like some gag dude in a rainbow flag from the Pride March, which was, what, five months ago?

00:53:04.000 So Cuomo put out a statement and it said, we're not impressed bigot boys skulking around in the dead of night.

00:53:13.000 Do you want to turn that up?

00:53:18.000 Andrew Cuomo is responding to acts of vandalism, apparently at the hands of neo-fascist groups.

00:53:25.000 Posters and banners with the Proud Boys website were found on New York City bridges and tunnels this morning.

00:53:30.000 The banners included what the governor described as anti-Italian American stereotypes and extremist right-wing propaganda.

00:53:37.000 Governor Cuomo said, quote, New York is not intimidated or threatened by neo-fascists.

00:53:43.000 Just last month, two members of the Proud Boys group were sentenced to prison for violence in Manhattan.

00:53:52.000 Okay, so find Cuomo's statement, though.

00:53:55.000 He says, hey, bigot boys.

00:53:57.000 He actually released a formal statement.

00:53:59.000 I have a message for the bigot boys who skulk around like cowards in the dead of night.

00:54:03.000 When you preach hate and division, New York answers with love and unity.

00:54:07.000 Crawl back into your hole, bigot boys.

00:54:09.000 There's no place for hate.

00:54:10.000 He says we answer with love, and then a few words later, he goes, crawl back into your hole.

00:54:15.000 Not like the bigot boys need help.

00:54:17.000 I think they should file a cease and desist against Cuomo, saying stop using that term.

00:54:22.000 And then De Blasio, the pothead that he is, tuned in like five hours later.

00:54:29.000 What?

00:54:29.000 What's going on?

00:54:31.000 What?

00:54:32.000 What?

00:54:33.000 Oh, hey.

00:54:34.000 Yeah, man.

00:54:36.000 Fucking.

00:54:37.000 Yeah.

00:54:39.000 You guys are a joke.

00:54:41.000 Imagine calling yourselves proud boys when you're a fucking disgrace to humanity, man.

00:54:47.000 You ought to just fucking keep going through the Holland Tunnel and just get out of New York, man.

00:54:54.000 That's what he said.

00:54:55.000 Mayor Spikoli.

00:54:56.000 Mayor Spikoli, do you have his quote?

00:54:58.000 You dick.

00:55:00.000 Yeah.

00:55:01.000 He called the right-wing group an embarrassment to humanity.

00:55:04.000 An embarrassment to humanity, dude.

00:55:07.000 Yeah.

00:55:07.000 And then he.

00:55:07.000 Drive the hell out of town.

00:55:09.000 They also said, next time you're on the highway, do us a favor and drive the hell out of town.

00:55:14.000 Yeah.

00:55:14.000 Your pathetic, hateful stunts have no place in the city.

00:55:17.000 That guy needs to drink booze. 1.00

00:55:19.000 The buzz?

00:55:20.000 Yeah.

00:55:20.000 His insults are terrible.

00:55:23.000 There's no guts.

00:55:24.000 Hey, fuckheads. 0.99

00:55:26.000 Putting up banners.

00:55:27.000 Put up a banner on my fucking...

00:55:30.000 Chasey Mansion or whatever?

00:55:32.000 Mason Gracie?

00:55:33.000 Come over to Mason Gracie where I live. 0.99

00:55:35.000 I'd love to meet you face to face in an alleyway, fuck nuts.

00:55:39.000 When it says like, hey, man, when you're on the highway, keep driving, dude.

00:55:45.000 He's such a soggy, like a, like a cinnamon stick that is stale cinnamon stick.

00:55:51.000 He's like Jerry Blank in Strangers with Candy.

00:55:54.000 Let me see.

00:55:56.000 I stole the TV.

00:55:59.000 Jeremy.

00:55:59.000 Like no edge.

00:56:02.000 Yeah, baked.

00:56:03.000 Look up the Jerry Blank stoned episode.

00:56:05.000 I mean, Strangers with Candy stoned episode.

00:56:08.000 That's de Blasio.

00:56:10.000 And you look at pictures of him in his yearbook.

00:56:12.000 He had a giant Italian.

00:56:13.000 What do you call it?

00:56:14.000 It's a Jufro. 1.00

00:56:15.000 It's an afro.

00:56:16.000 For Italians, it's an italfro. 0.88

00:56:17.000 He had a big italfro.

00:56:19.000 And he's just like, hey, dude.

00:56:22.000 And then he got a job interning for David Dinkins because he's a cool black dude.

00:56:27.000 Hey, man, I want to help out.

00:56:29.000 I'm super tall.

00:56:30.000 I could like get all the top.

00:56:32.000 See all those books?

00:56:33.000 I don't need a ladder.

00:56:34.000 I'll just grab them and hand them to you, dude.

00:56:37.000 And David Dinkins goes, okay, thanks very much, young man.

00:56:41.000 You're going to be mayor one day.

00:56:43.000 Oh, mayor.

00:56:44.000 Thanks, dude.

00:56:46.000 Look at him.

00:56:47.000 Hey, man.

00:56:47.000 He's like Justin Trudeau.

00:56:51.000 Same exact guy.

00:56:54.000 Wait a minute.

00:56:55.000 Check this out.

00:56:56.000 What if an elephant had pants on, man?

00:57:00.000 But like sexy pants, like leather pants.

00:57:03.000 What if you tried to make an elephant look hot?

00:57:05.000 Like you gave him leather pants and like blonde hair that was like slick bag and like fingerless gloves, even though he doesn't have fingers.

00:57:14.000 And you like, I don't know, drew like a six pack on his belly even though you couldn't see it.

00:57:22.000 Elephants couldn't even feel tattoos, man.

00:57:24.000 They'd be totally tatted up.

00:57:26.000 Yeah, you could just paint tattoos.

00:57:28.000 It's only for a parade.

00:57:29.000 Why isn't anybody tattooed an elephant?

00:57:32.000 Well, it doesn't.

00:57:35.000 It's crazy.

00:57:37.000 Tattooed elephants.

00:57:38.000 Such a crazy situation.

00:57:39.000 What does he say?

00:57:40.000 Your dad?

00:57:41.000 He says something really stupid.

00:57:44.000 I just made that up.

00:57:44.000 What does he say about crazy, though?

00:57:46.000 That's like really something crazy.

00:57:48.000 That's really something crazy.

00:57:50.000 That's like really something crazy.

00:57:53.000 Anyway, so we got to buzz.

00:57:55.000 We got the banners done.

00:57:57.000 Meaning, as a subject, I had nothing to do with it.

00:58:00.000 But I went to Church of the Sacred Heart, sat through the sermon.

00:58:03.000 It was nice because I was like 10 minutes late and ended it at 10 minutes before.

00:58:08.000 So it was a 40-minute sermon.

00:58:09.000 That's good for me.

00:58:10.000 I have so much trouble concentrating in church and I can't stop thinking about sex.

00:58:16.000 I'm sorry.

00:58:18.000 If there's couples there, I think about the best sex they ever had.

00:58:21.000 I wonder what, like, I just want to have a crystal ball and say, what was the best sexual experience of your life?

00:58:26.000 Can I watch it now?

00:58:29.000 Sorry.

00:58:29.000 I think about moves I want to do with my wife.

00:58:32.000 I'm just consumed.

00:58:34.000 I just had a weird thought.

00:58:35.000 What?

00:58:35.000 When you said you wanted to ask Gina Belafonte and Ann Coulter about sex, I was like, I wonder if Ann Coulter's ever kissed a girl.

00:58:43.000 No.

00:58:44.000 I know.

00:58:45.000 But you never know.

00:58:46.000 You never.

00:58:47.000 I can tell.

00:58:47.000 I know her very well.

00:58:48.000 She's a born-again Christian.

00:58:49.000 Gina did. 0.98

00:58:50.000 Gina did, definitely.

00:58:51.000 Gina kissed a girl earlier that day. 0.55

00:58:53.000 Yeah.

00:58:54.000 She kissed a girl and made her cry. 1.00

00:58:56.000 Georgie Porgy.

00:58:58.000 Yeah.

00:58:58.000 Gina Porgy.

00:59:02.000 That's what I said.

00:59:03.000 Frankly, she kisses girls, makes them cry. 1.00

00:59:06.000 Real mean.

00:59:08.000 Bad lady. 0.99

00:59:09.000 She's really mean.

00:59:09.000 Oh, Dinesh D'Souza.

00:59:10.000 I had lunch with him on Sunday before we did the talk.

00:59:14.000 He was just pardoned by Trump.

00:59:17.000 Are you kidding?

00:59:18.000 Yeah.

00:59:18.000 I don't know how much I can say.

00:59:21.000 But he said Trump was surprisingly human.

00:59:24.000 Like, how you doing?

00:59:26.000 Frankly, what's going on?

00:59:27.000 And they said, okay, I will give this away.

00:59:29.000 I hope I don't get in trouble for this.

00:59:31.000 But he said, wow, Mr. President, you must have thick skin, constantly getting bashed.

00:59:37.000 And he goes, yeah, it sucks.

00:59:40.000 Like instead of, ah, well, let the dogs yap.

00:59:43.000 It's like, yeah, it sucks.

00:59:44.000 Yeah.

00:59:44.000 We got Big Daddy.

00:59:47.000 And got nothing but shit.

00:59:49.000 Yeah.

00:59:49.000 Fucking assholes.

00:59:50.000 No, he didn't say that.

00:59:51.000 Nobody likes to be hated.

00:59:52.000 You know, he's doing great.

00:59:54.000 He's a kind-hearted man.

00:59:56.000 Also, you got to understand, Trump has been a rock star since I was 10 years old.

00:59:59.000 Like Mad Mag.

01:00:00.000 People go, oh, he's a reality star president.

01:00:02.000 No, that's just like the past five years.

01:00:04.000 I was watching him on Sally Jesse Raphael in 1985.

01:00:08.000 He's always been around.

01:00:09.000 I've never not known Trump to be around.

01:00:12.000 And he leans into it.

01:00:14.000 He's like, all right, you want me to dance?

01:00:15.000 I'll dance.

01:00:15.000 He literally does like this cool dance.

01:00:17.000 He did the roast.

01:00:18.000 Yeah, I remember humorous.

01:00:19.000 I remember he was on the cover of Playboy.

01:00:21.000 And it's some woman wearing his jacket.

01:00:24.000 And then he's just got a white shirt on.

01:00:27.000 And the caption says, ah, nice magazine.

01:00:30.000 Should I buy it?

01:00:31.000 Uh-oh.

01:00:32.000 This brings us to something that I want to talk about before I finish my Church of the Sacred Heart story.

01:00:40.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:00:41.000 See that?

01:00:42.000 Nice magazine.

01:00:42.000 Want to sell it?

01:00:44.000 Oh, nice.

01:00:45.000 That's pretty funny.

01:00:46.000 I just saw a Domino's commercial he did, too.

01:00:49.000 It was really good.

01:00:50.000 So I don't like advertising for other shows.

01:00:52.000 Anthony Cumille is wonderful at his job.

01:00:54.000 I don't like admitting I listen to his show because he's the competition and I don't want you to leave here and go there.

01:00:58.000 However, his audio of Donald Trump saying fuck.

01:01:02.000 Well, good thing is it's on YouTube.

01:01:04.000 Okay.

01:01:05.000 So nobody has to jump ship.

01:01:06.000 Don't leave us.

01:01:08.000 Don't leave us for aunt.

01:01:10.000 The way he says fucking is the way Ryan and I say fucking when we're talking about tits. 0.96

01:01:16.000 And it just shows what a human being he is.

01:01:19.000 We have listened to this 356,000 times.

01:01:22.000 He's a New Yorker through and through, and it's ridonculous. 1.00

01:01:26.000 So he's got this guy, Anthony has this guy, Hayden Christians.

01:01:29.000 No, what?

01:01:29.000 Chauncey Hayden, who was...

01:01:36.000 Fucking him.

01:01:37.000 We have the audio.

01:01:38.000 Yeah, yeah, this is...

01:01:41.000 No, no.

01:01:42.000 Amazing.

01:01:42.000 It's not a parody or anything.

01:01:44.000 Oh, no, it's really.

01:01:45.000 I've had people tell me it's not real.

01:01:47.000 If you listen to that, it's him.

01:01:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:49.000 There's only one Donald Trump.

01:01:50.000 It's either him or Alec Baldwin.

01:01:52.000 One of the two called me three in the morning.

01:01:54.000 This is, let's hear it.

01:01:57.000 Am I fired?

01:01:59.000 I'll never fire you, Charlie.

01:02:01.000 Charge, we've been good to your magazine with The Apprentice.

01:02:03.000 You saw the ratings that went to number one.

01:02:05.000 I mean, it's killing that.

01:02:06.000 That show is huge.

01:02:07.000 It's huge.

01:02:08.000 It's the biggest thing in the NBC people just.

01:02:11.000 They said it's the biggest show they've had since friends.

01:02:14.000 Well, it's what we both predicted.

01:02:16.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:02:17.000 Charge this person.

01:02:18.000 I don't even know who the hell she is. 0.85

01:02:20.000 I never took her out.

01:02:21.000 I don't know who she is.

01:02:22.000 And by the way, based on a picture, I would never take her.

01:02:25.000 She looks like a fucking great hooker. 1.00

01:02:28.000 Let me give you a break. 0.96

01:02:30.000 That's it.

01:02:30.000 That's enough.

01:02:31.000 The second one's really good, though.

01:02:32.000 Oh, really?

01:02:33.000 She looks like a model. 0.99

01:02:35.000 That's Canadian.

01:02:36.000 I don't know.

01:02:37.000 Did he grow up in the Ottawa Valley?

01:02:38.000 That's the way we say fucking...

01:02:43.000 You know?

01:02:44.000 I walk in there and I was fucking, what are you guys doing?

01:02:47.000 And they were fucking, nothing.

01:02:52.000 Norma tells you to recognize that.

01:02:53.000 Dealing with ancient history, number one.

01:02:57.000 She's not even attractive. 0.97

01:02:59.000 All right, all right.

01:03:01.000 By the way, she's not a good-looking. 0.99

01:03:04.000 She is.

01:03:04.000 She's out.

01:03:06.000 It's worth it.

01:03:07.000 Hey, find it.

01:03:09.000 Penthouse is like that.

01:03:12.000 Do you think I'm going to go out with a Penthouse pet?

01:03:14.000 A Penthouse is...

01:03:16.000 Well, she was Playboy. 1.00

01:03:17.000 She's the only girl ever to do both.

01:03:19.000 That's her clean note.

01:03:20.000 She's forget it. 0.97

01:03:22.000 I never took her out.

01:03:23.000 So she's buying a coattail.

01:03:24.000 She's trying to hop on it. 1.00

01:03:26.000 And that's the only reason I recognize the name.

01:03:28.000 That was like five, six, seven years ago.

01:03:30.000 It's kind of a long clip.

01:03:31.000 Yeah, why can't you find it?

01:03:35.000 Like, tell you, you listened to this 3,000 times.

01:03:38.000 Who the fuck at this time?

01:03:39.000 There we go.

01:03:41.000 And number one.

01:03:42.000 Number two, who the fuck it would be?

01:03:44.000 I use models for that.

01:03:45.000 I don't use Lakewood people for that stuff.

01:03:47.000 That literally sounds like my great-grandfather.

01:03:49.000 And number two, who the fuck?

01:03:52.000 I use models for that.

01:03:54.000 Why would I use a penthouse pet to advertise?

01:03:56.000 was they talking about advertising?

01:03:57.000 She wanted to he And it's because he wanted her to be a model for something.

01:04:07.000 For what?

01:04:08.000 I don't know.

01:04:08.000 A magazine or some shit?

01:04:10.000 So that was the guy.

01:04:11.000 He used to do a magazine Stepping Out, and he was the local gossip columnist.

01:04:15.000 and the premise was big, and this girl was saying that Donald Trump wanted her to advertise something.

01:04:19.000 He's like, no, she's fucking... 1.00

01:04:24.000 Yeah.

01:04:24.000 She's fucking in there, fucking.

01:04:27.000 Even an H in there.

01:04:29.000 All right, so let me get back to my story.

01:04:31.000 We're all caught up now with all the news, right?

01:04:33.000 Yeah.

01:04:33.000 Oh, he was on Stern a lot, Chance Hayden.

01:04:35.000 I think he's a Stern guy.

01:04:37.000 Come to think of it.

01:04:38.000 Yeah, he was on Stern.

01:04:39.000 Yep.

01:04:41.000 So I'm walking around.

01:04:43.000 I look at my watch.

01:04:44.000 It's like 6 o'clock, and I realize, by the time I get home, it'll be like 7.38.

01:04:50.000 I'm going to miss bedtime.

01:04:51.000 I might as well just take my time.

01:04:52.000 So I'm walking around.

01:04:53.000 Hell's Kitchen is thriving now.

01:04:57.000 When I moved here in the 90s, Hell's Kitchen, you did not go there.

01:05:00.000 Now it is like party time.

01:05:03.000 So as I'm walking home, I see Mickey Spillanes.

01:05:07.000 Now there's a Mickey Spillanes up in Westchester that I watch boxing matches at.

01:05:11.000 But this one I thought, oh, let's check out.

01:05:14.000 I went to Mickey Spillanese Church where he got married.

01:05:18.000 that's cool.

01:05:19.000 Let me go to the Mickey Splanes bar.

01:05:22.000 So, I walk in, and the bartender goes, hey, can I help you?

01:05:26.000 I go, whatever.

01:05:26.000 I'm in New York.

01:05:27.000 There's gays everywhere.

01:05:28.000 Yeah, could I, do you guys serve food?

01:05:30.000 Yes.

01:05:30.000 Okay.

01:05:31.000 Can I get a menu?

01:05:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:05:33.000 What do you want to drink?

01:05:34.000 Sugar.

01:05:35.000 And I'm like, I'll just get a bud, Bud Light, whatever.

01:05:37.000 I'm not drinking Maker's Mark anymore.

01:05:38.000 I'm done.

01:05:39.000 I cannot handle it.

01:05:40.000 It's like cocaine.

01:05:42.000 I don't want to quit it.

01:05:43.000 It quit me.

01:05:45.000 Buy Coke.

01:05:46.000 I can't even handle pot, really.

01:05:48.000 Oh, that would be another idea.

01:05:50.000 Watch, you know that movie with the little elf that could, that Christmas movie?

01:05:56.000 Island of Misfit Toys?

01:05:57.000 Yeah, that one?

01:05:58.000 Why don't I watch that baked?

01:06:01.000 Whoa.

01:06:02.000 It'll take like two hours, and then we could split that up and make that Christmas episodes.

01:06:07.000 It's like de Blasio night.

01:06:08.000 Yeah.

01:06:09.000 Hey, you're an embarrassment to humanity, dude.

01:06:12.000 Keep driving.

01:06:13.000 Drive right out of town.

01:06:17.000 Oh, yeah, it's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

01:06:20.000 Anyway, so he goes, then I see this guy looking at me down the bar.

01:06:25.000 And thanks to the media's false allegations and the SPLC's accusations, I have to keep my wits about me.

01:06:33.000 I don't listen to headphones.

01:06:34.000 Even at the platform near my house, I see this millennial staring at me.

01:06:39.000 And then I look, he's a rich kid.

01:06:41.000 I live in a rich neighborhood.

01:06:42.000 And he's reading a book called Fascist Capitalism.

01:06:47.000 His dad definitely makes $300,000 a year.

01:06:50.000 Fascist capitalism.

01:06:51.000 Then this other guy is like a skater.

01:06:52.000 Meanwhile, he's 35 and he's staring at me sort of like, and I hate those passive-aggressive attacks because what are you going to do?

01:07:00.000 Come at him and go, what are you doing?

01:07:02.000 What's with the tongue?

01:07:02.000 Now you're bagel boss.

01:07:04.000 Or you just ignore it and you're letting him get away with it.

01:07:08.000 You got something to say?

01:07:09.000 Say it, dude.

01:07:11.000 You want to go?

01:07:12.000 Let's go.

01:07:12.000 But just as like, and then you can tell people later, I wasn't putting up with his shit for one second.

01:07:18.000 I just stared him down.

01:07:20.000 Ooh, you stared him down.

01:07:22.000 The other thing they love to do is the photo.

01:07:28.000 Now you're in my phone.

01:07:30.000 I gotcha.

01:07:31.000 Now I can dox you, and then Antifil will come and beat you up and do the dirty work. 1.00

01:07:37.000 I know where he is.

01:07:38.000 He was at this crosswalk two days ago.

01:07:40.000 They did that in DC.

01:07:41.000 The guy with the man bun doxed us.

01:07:44.000 Anyway, I go into Mickey's planes.

01:07:45.000 I see this guy looking at me, and he's like.

01:07:49.000 And I go, what is going on here?

01:07:52.000 And then he comes over and he goes, I like your new sunglasses.

01:07:57.000 And I thought you would say like, oh, no way.

01:07:59.000 That's boring to you.

01:08:00.000 You told me this.

01:08:01.000 Oh, I tried to do this story already.

01:08:02.000 So I go, oh, hey, how you doing?

01:08:04.000 And I've got my Bud Light.

01:08:07.000 It's in a plastic cup, which should have shown me something fishy was going on.

01:08:11.000 And I go, oh, okay.

01:08:13.000 I don't really like beer in a plastic cup, but whatever.

01:08:15.000 And he goes, hey, man, I called into the show once.

01:08:19.000 Oh, cool.

01:08:20.000 Are you here with anyone?

01:08:21.000 And he goes, no, my girlfriend's at work, and I thought I'm just wandering around.

01:08:25.000 We're both on self-dates, I realize, which is the thing the New York Post is talking about.

01:08:29.000 You got to find this article.

01:08:30.000 It's the hot new thing in New York City.

01:08:33.000 Self-dating.

01:08:35.000 I do that all the time.

01:08:36.000 You go out on a date.

01:08:37.000 And then it had a picture of this woman who had bought herself flowers.

01:08:42.000 Feminism and gang rapists are about the same as far as the devastation they've done to women's lives. 1.00

01:08:50.000 This poor woman is sitting there with a delicious cocktail and a thing of roses on the bar with her, just like, I'm so happy. 0.98

01:09:02.000 And I'm a mommy because I have my dog at home.

01:09:05.000 So this is life on the town.

01:09:08.000 You know, I might get one of these self-weddings later on and just marry myself, which is also a thing, folks.

01:09:15.000 The subtle art of dating yourself.

01:09:18.000 It's an art form.

01:09:20.000 Rare.

01:09:22.000 Like Picasso, really.

01:09:24.000 So anyway, we're on self-dates and I go, sit down.

01:09:28.000 And he goes, yeah, I'm kind of surprised to see you here.

01:09:30.000 I mean, maybe it's the same reason as me.

01:09:32.000 And did you know this is a gay bar?

01:09:35.000 And I looked around and there was no chicks. 0.90

01:09:40.000 We were at a raging gay bar.

01:09:42.000 Mickey Spillane, if only he knew what his legacy had become.

01:09:48.000 A raging homosexual super gay bar. 0.99

01:09:51.000 And because we're both straight men, we saw that said beer, $4 and we saw sliders and we went, that seems affordable.

01:09:59.000 And we were both sucked in by that.

01:10:01.000 And as we were walking in, we ignored a gigantic rainbow flag, like as big as this, as big as this building.

01:10:10.000 So we pushed that aside.

01:10:11.000 What's that fucking flag doing there?

01:10:13.000 And walked into a gay bar.

01:10:14.000 Move, gay flag. 1.00

01:10:15.000 I got wings to get.

01:10:17.000 Move, faggots. 1.00

01:10:18.000 Why are there so many homos here? 1.00

01:10:20.000 Yeah, it's a very, very gay bar.

01:10:22.000 By the way, I didn't say this before because it would erect the punchline.

01:10:25.000 Hell's Kitchen is way gayer than Chelsea, way gayer than the West Village.

01:10:29.000 It is just San Francisco levels gay. 0.99

01:10:33.000 Super duper gay. 1.00

01:10:35.000 I still go to Rudy's, though.

01:10:36.000 Which is weird.

01:10:37.000 It's sort of like Israel having settlements.

01:10:39.000 Like, we gave you the West Village and said, go butt fuck each other blind. 0.79

01:10:44.000 And they're like, no, thanks.

01:10:45.000 I want to go way up to where the Westies were. 0.98

01:10:48.000 Okay.

01:10:50.000 I'll get a $4 slider and then a man comes greasing his buns. 0.68

01:10:53.000 All right, who am I sliding on?

01:10:55.000 Like, no, shit.

01:10:56.000 Well, it was funny, too, because the barmaid was kind of pokritudinous. 1.00

01:11:00.000 She had quite a pair of cans, and we were like, we could just grab those.

01:11:04.000 Girl, I love your tats.

01:11:07.000 Oh, my God.

01:11:08.000 I was actually thinking about getting some.

01:11:09.000 And those are, can I just check those out?

01:11:12.000 And then you just sort of like, yeah, that, see, Michael, this is what I was talking about.

01:11:16.000 I want that kind of lip.

01:11:17.000 Can we just, can you dump them out for a sec?

01:11:19.000 Yeah.

01:11:20.000 And then you blow your cover because you do like a tight butt fart. 0.99

01:11:22.000 You go, and they're like, it's him.

01:11:25.000 Almost like in a Glorious Bastard when he had two fingers apart.

01:11:28.000 It didn't sound like your asshole is a baby yawning.

01:11:30.000 Why was that so tight?

01:11:33.000 Yeah, these are good.

01:11:34.000 These are the kind of tits I want to get. 1.00

01:11:37.000 Hey, can I try something?

01:11:38.000 I want to see if your butthole is as tight as my boyfriend's because I feel like his could be a lot tighter. 1.00

01:11:44.000 And I've never really done it with a girl.

01:11:46.000 Let me just check that out, shall we?

01:11:48.000 Yeah, that's much, that's very different.

01:11:51.000 So now you're boning your chick. 0.93

01:11:53.000 Can I finger you?

01:11:54.000 What's a vagina feel like? 1.00

01:11:55.000 They're so gross.

01:11:56.000 I might barf, but let me just check it out.

01:11:58.000 Ew, gross.

01:12:00.000 That's undercover second basing.

01:12:04.000 Undercover, upside-down jogger.

01:12:06.000 If you ever have to change the URL for this site, that would be a, is that domain available?

01:12:12.000 Undercover, upside-down jogger.

01:12:14.000 Upside-down jogger. 0.94

01:12:16.000 And this is the, when you get to the homepage, this is sort of on a GIF that's just streaming.

01:12:21.000 We're going to have to get .NET.

01:12:23.000 Oh, it's gone?

01:12:24.000 No, no, no, it's not.

01:12:25.000 It's gone.

01:12:26.000 That URL is available for $10,000.

01:12:32.000 So yeah, we had a bunch of beers there with the gays and hung out, had a meatball sub and walked home.

01:12:39.000 I bet you did.

01:12:41.000 I ate their balls.

01:12:44.000 Get it?

01:12:45.000 And loved.

01:12:45.000 It was actually a very shitty sandwich.

01:12:47.000 The food sucks.

01:12:48.000 Mickey Spillane's the gay bar.

01:12:49.000 Isn't that disappointing?

01:12:50.000 I hate plastic cups, too.

01:12:52.000 What are we at?

01:12:52.000 A rave?

01:12:53.000 Like, what am I going to do?

01:12:54.000 Smash it over someone's head?

01:12:55.000 We're at a gay bar.

01:12:56.000 They're the least violent people in New York.

01:12:58.000 I don't know.

01:13:00.000 So yeah, I had a nice chat with him and then went back home.

01:13:03.000 And the next morning, I went out and did the Dinesh Michael Shermer thing.

01:13:07.000 When do you think that'll be done?

01:13:09.000 Ooh.

01:13:11.000 Definitely before.

01:13:13.000 Things are going to get easier.

01:13:15.000 Definitely before Friday.

01:13:16.000 But Saturday, there's no content, so it's almost kind of a good thing to drop it on Saturday so it doesn't go under the radar.

01:13:24.000 And, you know.

01:13:25.000 So maybe this Saturday.

01:13:26.000 Yeah.

01:13:27.000 That gives you a lot of room to sit on your ass playing video games.

01:13:31.000 So that's the end of the show, folks.

01:13:33.000 What do you think?

01:13:35.000 Maybe we should make this a Monday's regular thing.

01:13:36.000 You just show up in your normal civilian clothes, no notes, talk about the weekend.

01:13:44.000 Oh.

01:13:46.000 Gay male couples, huh? 1.00

01:13:49.000 Well, maybe the gay male couple should stop doing this all the time. 1.00

01:13:53.000 Huh?

01:13:54.000 Yapping.

01:13:55.000 Maybe that gay male couple should have his fucking sandwich ready once in a while. 1.00

01:13:58.000 Stop fucking complaining all the time.

01:14:01.000 We were talking about that the other day.

01:14:03.000 I don't want to trivialize domestic violence.

01:14:05.000 I know five guys who have had their lives flushed down the toilet for it.

01:14:09.000 All of them were innocent, which is why I once tweeted out every instance of domestic abuse I've heard of has been some cunt trying to ruin a guy's life. 0.99

01:14:16.000 I got in a lot of trouble for that, but it's just my personal experience.

01:14:19.000 I'm just saying a fact.

01:14:20.000 Now, it might be a scourge.

01:14:22.000 It might be taking over America. 0.97

01:14:24.000 I don't see it with my own eyes.

01:14:26.000 But everyone I talk to has never known or known of, we're not talking about the 50s and 60s, a guy who was just like, where the fuck's my dinner, bitch? 0.97

01:14:38.000 Like a guy who beats the shit out of his wife or girlfriend, and she's got like the sunglasses on. 1.00

01:14:43.000 Oh, I'm such a klutz with these cupboards.

01:14:46.000 I know the archetype.

01:14:47.000 I see it in Cassavetti's movies, but I've never come across it.

01:14:51.000 And if I did, like if Anthony Cumia beat the shit out of his girlfriend, like outside of beating him up or calling the cops, I would just never speak to him again.

01:15:02.000 Like the idea that men just hang around going, whoa, she's in big trouble.

01:15:07.000 Looks like she should have had his sandwich ready.

01:15:10.000 Yeah, it's sort of a bad one.

01:15:12.000 She shouldn't have been doing this.

01:15:13.000 Like I've never come across it ever.

01:15:15.000 And I've met thousands of people from all walks of life, all races, everything.

01:15:20.000 I have heard of very abusive relationships in lesbian couples. 0.98

01:15:25.000 But that's about it.

01:15:26.000 Got to go to World Star Hip Hop.

01:15:28.000 This is not a fun, fun subject to end on.

01:15:31.000 Got to go to WorldStar Hip Hop.

01:15:33.000 Are we doing mailbag or no?

01:15:34.000 No, we're out of time.

01:15:35.000 Oh.

01:15:36.000 I like you more than a friend, guys, and I need you to be brave.

01:15:41.000 No, wait.

01:15:44.000 We're filing so many appeals today.

01:15:46.000 We filed three appeals today.

01:15:47.000 Tommy Trigger, Max Hare, John Kinsman.

01:15:51.000 To get them out of jail because we're never going to give up.

01:15:54.000 Get fired.

01:15:55.000 Get in trouble.

01:15:57.000 Be brave.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 18, 2019

S02E87 - OFF THE CUFF MONDAY

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