Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E98 - PLAYING GOD

00:00:05.000 Don't try to go and make up the muddy send five million.

00:00:08.000 Big up with the sell to the maximum.

00:00:09.000 Now, there is more than six million who used to die.

00:00:11.000 So, one boy with the truth is blood clot.

00:00:12.000 I don't know.

00:00:13.000 I'm trying to check the champion.

00:00:14.000 I'm from New York.

00:00:15.000 Yeah, man.

00:00:15.000 That's how they're murdering.

00:00:16.000 I don't kill.

00:00:17.000 I won.

00:00:18.000 Yeah, man.

00:00:18.000 Kevin.

00:00:19.000 I'm kidding.

00:00:20.000 You don't know, sir.

00:00:20.000 Respect up there.

00:00:21.000 I read him checking a select a car right now with a hit run.

00:00:23.000 I know.

00:00:23.000 We kill some select a boy around here.

00:00:25.000 I got them a babe like them a bitch. 1.00

00:00:27.000 Who is this?

00:00:28.000 Ducky starts.

00:00:29.000 Ducky Ranks.

00:00:37.000 That was Diplo, because he's from Philly.

00:00:40.000 And a friend of mine just died.

00:00:42.000 Chris Cotton kicked the bucket.

00:00:46.000 And more people died too.

00:00:48.000 A lot of death today.

00:00:50.000 Jersey City's a war zone.

00:00:51.000 Yesterday, two lunatics went on a shootout and ended up at a kosher grocer and murdered two, I guess, Orthodox Jews, right?

00:01:00.000 If they're running a kosher place.

00:01:02.000 We'll get to that.

00:01:03.000 Fascinating details about that and the reaction.

00:01:08.000 But before we get started with anything, I'm kind of in shock here.

00:01:13.000 I just found out Chris Cotton was going to be my co-host.

00:01:17.000 He regularly co-hosted my old show, the Gavin McInnes Show.

00:01:21.000 We got along great.

00:01:23.000 Very funny guy.

00:01:24.000 A lot of rude sex jokes and stuff, especially on podcasts.

00:01:29.000 Talked about South Philly a lot and how where he grew up, it was hell.

00:01:34.000 But what a lot of people don't think knew about him is that he was a very religious guy.

00:01:38.000 And we would get into arguments because he wasn't happy with how little I gave Jesus attention.

00:01:45.000 He knew I was Catholic and Christian, but he kept pushing me.

00:01:48.000 He said, do you accept Christ as your personal savior?

00:01:50.000 Because you sound more like you just believe in God.

00:01:53.000 You have to accept Christ to be Catholic. 0.93

00:01:55.000 And he would send me texts.

00:01:57.000 My God, it's weird when someone dies, you go over their texts, right?

00:02:02.000 Yeah.

00:02:02.000 And it's like this little ghost is in your phone all of a sudden.

00:02:06.000 To be saved, you have to have faith.

00:02:09.000 Then in brackets, believe that God, prophet or creator, came to earth, died on earth, came back to life, and he is currently preparing a place in heaven for all who believe and repent their sins to God.

00:02:24.000 I wonder how many people knew that about him.

00:02:26.000 We also disagreed about Trump a lot.

00:02:27.000 He said Trump was racist and blah, blah, blah.

00:02:31.000 I don't think it's fair to read those texts out, but I sure he'd be fine with that.

00:02:37.000 I hope he's in a better place.

00:02:39.000 I can't get any details about what happened.

00:02:41.000 I don't know if he OD'd.

00:02:42.000 He's only 32 years old.

00:02:44.000 So I guess we'll keep you informed on that.

00:02:46.000 I guess you don't care, but he's a funny guy.

00:02:47.000 Let's show some of his stand-up.

00:02:49.000 Have you got some of that?

00:02:58.000 What's up, Sony?

00:02:59.000 Thank you, Sonia, for that introduction.

00:03:01.000 I'm Andrew.

00:03:03.000 I don't do festivals outside the country.

00:03:04.000 I don't go out the country.

00:03:05.000 I don't trust people.

00:03:06.000 I'm not going out the country.

00:03:07.000 Fuck that.

00:03:09.000 You don't even like me here.

00:03:10.000 You look rich to get outside.

00:03:12.000 I don't even want to block unless I got to.

00:03:15.000 They make good hoes across the street. 1.00

00:03:17.000 That's my theory.

00:03:20.000 You want to go to the wild wild?

00:03:21.000 Who drives me?

00:03:22.000 I got to drive.

00:03:22.000 I got to lose my spots.

00:03:23.000 Fuck out of here.

00:03:24.000 I'm not going to walk.

00:03:25.000 Okay, you get it.

00:03:29.000 Very black guy.

00:03:30.000 Hair's cutting.

00:03:31.000 Very black. 0.96

00:03:32.000 It was hard when we were on the same show because we had to do a lot of contrast work with the lighting.

00:03:36.000 That's not true.

00:03:38.000 Well, Talib Starks is.

00:03:39.000 I remember that.

00:03:39.000 He was fun, too.

00:03:40.000 One time we had David Duke on the show.

00:03:44.000 And David Duke is really into nutrition and dieting.

00:03:49.000 And he thinks that bread is really bad for you.

00:03:51.000 He thinks we shouldn't be eating bread.

00:03:53.000 And he thinks that white bread is even worse than normal bread because it's been bleached.

00:03:59.000 And that, you know, white sugar, all that stuff.

00:04:02.000 He calls it white death.

00:04:04.000 And so he is breaddest against white bread.

00:04:08.000 So we had him on my show.

00:04:09.000 All I could find, by the way, Vimeo made Keith the Cop take down all my old shows on TGMS because of Proud Boys, because I'm the leader of a hate group.

00:04:21.000 Vimeo.

00:04:22.000 So I found this on some on Greatest Hits montage.

00:04:27.000 Oh, there's Dante Nero.

00:04:28.000 Oh, this is when we came up with the idea of no wanks together.

00:04:33.000 I will commit to once a month.

00:04:35.000 Whoa.

00:04:36.000 All right.

00:04:36.000 I'll meet you once a month and raise you nothing.

00:04:39.000 Now, I want to focus specifically on this, your belief that white bread is evil.

00:04:48.000 Well, you know, I'm not saying that all grains are evil.

00:04:52.000 All right, that's enough.

00:04:53.000 Not really showing a lot of Chris Cotton.

00:04:56.000 But yeah, sorry.

00:04:57.000 I guess, you know what?

00:04:59.000 When you lose a friend, it's kind of self-indulgent to talk about it on a show.

00:05:06.000 Unless you have a great montage of all their best clips.

00:05:09.000 I mean, what am I doing right now?

00:05:10.000 I'm just saying I had a black friend.

00:05:12.000 I'm not really helping his memory or anything.

00:05:16.000 I mean, it's sort of like when someone dies.

00:05:18.000 Remember when Harris Whittle died and everyone had a picture on Instagram of them with their arm around him?

00:05:23.000 What are you saying?

00:05:24.000 How are you helping?

00:05:25.000 You're just saying I knew a dead guy.

00:05:29.000 Well, they say that you die two deaths.

00:05:32.000 One when you leave the earth and the other one when people stop talking about you.

00:05:36.000 Yeah.

00:05:37.000 I guess there's some hope there that someone will look him up and go, oh, that was a cool guy.

00:05:42.000 Oh, what happened?

00:05:42.000 I remember him on your show.

00:05:44.000 Yeah, he was an awesome dude.

00:05:45.000 Great back and forth between you guys.

00:05:47.000 It was just a super funny guy.

00:05:49.000 Yeah.

00:05:49.000 You were interested in each other.

00:05:50.000 You were like, you know, you were trying to figure out how each other ticks, kind of, but you got along on stuff.

00:05:54.000 You make each other laugh.

00:05:55.000 It was great.

00:05:55.000 You should show your face when you talk, Ryan.

00:05:58.000 Okay.

00:06:00.000 What are you dressed as?

00:06:02.000 Just a dude.

00:06:03.000 You look like Andy No's brother.

00:06:06.000 I don't like that.

00:06:07.000 But I have a nice camo tie with a wooden clip.

00:06:10.000 I think I want to get like a an orange.

00:06:13.000 You know the bright orange hunter orange to contrast it?

00:06:16.000 So it looks like a nice hunting tie.

00:06:17.000 Yeah, it doesn't look like a camo tie from here anyway.

00:06:21.000 I wouldn't have known if you'd said that.

00:06:21.000 It's invisible.

00:06:23.000 People are like, where's your tie?

00:06:26.000 Yeah, people like, where's your tie?

00:06:27.000 Where's your tie?

00:06:28.000 It's invisible.

00:06:30.000 All right, so should we talk about the fun stuff first or get into the news?

00:06:35.000 I'm always down for fun.

00:06:36.000 Let's do fun stuff first.

00:06:38.000 It's like the New York Post.

00:06:39.000 The New York Post starts out with like a woman who treats her rescue dogs like shit. 1.00

00:06:46.000 And then we get into the heavy stuff.

00:06:48.000 So let's keep it light first, right?

00:06:51.000 Yes.

00:06:52.000 Lilith's, what's her name, Lizzo?

00:06:54.000 Lizzo's ass is gross. 1.00

00:06:59.000 Have I got that here?

00:07:00.000 Hot take. 0.79

00:07:01.000 Hot take. 0.79

00:07:03.000 2-1.

00:07:05.000 So she's a brave.

00:07:07.000 Is that each of her cheeks ratings? 0.94

00:07:09.000 That's a two?

00:07:10.000 That's a one.

00:07:11.000 Yes.

00:07:12.000 And I'm not exaggerating.

00:07:13.000 And you know how I don't like to give low numbers.

00:07:16.000 She goes to a Lakers game and she has to flash her ass. 1.00

00:07:21.000 And it's empowering and it's awesome.

00:07:24.000 You know why?

00:07:25.000 Because she has a shitty ass. 1.00

00:07:27.000 Not literally.

00:07:29.000 If it was someone with a beautiful fat ass, like actual round cheeks, then people would be outraged. 1.00

00:07:36.000 But because it would be sexist.

00:07:38.000 But because she's got this shitty sort of a chocolate tub hanging up the back, don't show her talking. 1.00

00:07:45.000 Where's the one where she's walking in the Lakers game? 0.95

00:07:47.000 We should show what we're talking about.

00:07:50.000 Yeah, there she is at the Lakers game. 1.00

00:07:52.000 Let's zoom in on that ass. 1.00

00:07:53.000 Here's the ass. 0.99

00:07:54.000 Because you see the concept of it first, right?

00:07:58.000 No, go up to the picture, Ryan.

00:08:00.000 Picture right above it, please.

00:08:00.000 Okay.

00:08:02.000 Picture right above it.

00:08:03.000 There.

00:08:05.000 So let's zoom in on that ass. 1.00

00:08:07.000 I mean, everyone's sitting there watching a game, and she comes out and flashes this weird, flat, cellulite, gross, chunky thing. 0.98

00:08:17.000 It looks like she's pregnant with a bunch of kids' toys. 0.90

00:08:21.000 You know what I mean?

00:08:22.000 It looks like Santa's bag.

00:08:24.000 Not his scrotum, but the bag he keeps the toys in.

00:08:26.000 It's so lumpy.

00:08:28.000 There's some lumps.

00:08:29.000 What are you showing off?

00:08:30.000 And then show her walking there.

00:08:32.000 No, not talking there.

00:08:35.000 So that's a little video, right?

00:08:39.000 Yeah.

00:08:43.000 Oh, maybe this is the actual clip of her doing the flash.

00:08:46.000 Oh, they're dancing to her song.

00:08:48.000 oh that's why you turn it up But she went there with a dress that has no ass. 1.00

00:09:00.000 So that's how she was just out and about.

00:09:01.000 She didn't expose her ass. 0.98

00:09:02.000 That's how her ass was presented. 1.00

00:09:04.000 She turned around and said, look at the back of my dress. 1.00

00:09:06.000 But if in that same clip, they should show her walking to there, and you see her walking with these disgusting cellulite cheeks. 1.00

00:09:14.000 Like, it would be like you showing your disgusting penis as opposed to me showing my godlike schlong. 0.99

00:09:21.000 You know what I mean?

00:09:22.000 Right.

00:09:23.000 Like, if you don't have it, don't flaunt it.

00:09:25.000 So what, it's not in the Daily Mail thing?

00:09:28.000 No, not from what I saw here.

00:09:30.000 But look at this.

00:09:32.000 Here's her. 1.00

00:09:32.000 New man on the Minnesota Timberwolves. 1.00

00:09:35.000 There it is!

00:09:36.000 New man on the Minnesota Vikings.

00:09:43.000 From the Minnesota Vikings.

00:09:45.000 Oh, God.

00:09:46.000 Who wants her take, lady? 1.00

00:09:47.000 Yeah.

00:09:48.000 Show us the big butt. 1.00

00:09:49.000 And so she gets on social media and says, you have to do your best you and you have to be proud of yourself.

00:09:56.000 No, no.

00:09:57.000 If your ass is disgusting, don't show it to people.

00:10:00.000 I mean, it's bad enough that you're so fat you're dying with your tiny purse.

00:10:05.000 That's pretty funny.

00:10:09.000 Wait a minute.

00:10:10.000 Go back to that.

00:10:11.000 That goes hilarious.

00:10:13.000 Did someone really do that to not be hot?

00:10:15.000 Luzo was at the Lakers game like...

00:10:20.000 If you have to wear a suit for TV or something, cut the backs off of everything.

00:10:26.000 That's a great idea, yeah.

00:10:27.000 Yeah.

00:10:28.000 Ben Johnson.

00:10:29.000 I like him.

00:10:30.000 Yeah, he's a hero.

00:10:32.000 Who is Ben Johnson?

00:10:33.000 I don't know anything about him.

00:10:34.000 Me neither.

00:10:35.000 That's not for us to know.

00:10:36.000 So that's also in the non-news.

00:10:38.000 And then, oh, we've been meaning to get to this for a while.

00:10:42.000 The Steve Harvey eye roll.

00:10:44.000 This is 1-7.

00:10:45.000 He was interviewing for the Miss whatever pageant.

00:10:48.000 Miss Universe is a really unattractive South African girl. 1.00

00:10:53.000 But this was, I don't know what stupid pageant this is. 1.00

00:10:57.000 I couldn't imagine watching those, especially now that they took the bikinis away. 1.00

00:11:00.000 Steve Harvey rolls his eyes after reading climate change question at Miss Universe pageant.

00:11:07.000 Now you gotta watch this closely because you only get a second.

00:11:19.000 Okay, now, the reason we brought this up is not because that's funny and that is amusing, but the tweeter who paused it, we want would like to elect him formally for the Nobel Pause Prize.

00:11:34.000 Check this out.

00:11:35.000 The guy who paused that.

00:11:38.000 What are you doing, Ryan?

00:11:39.000 This is a cut version or something.

00:11:41.000 Go back to the original motherfucking page and scroll down. 0.82

00:11:45.000 Ow. 0.99

00:11:47.000 I don't understand.

00:11:48.000 We talked about this.

00:11:50.000 And you're just showing me the pause.

00:11:51.000 Why would that previous pause win a pause prize?

00:11:54.000 I was confused too.

00:11:55.000 I was like, that's the video.

00:11:56.000 Are we not looking for the video?

00:11:59.000 No.

00:11:59.000 But wait a minute.

00:12:00.000 We've talked about the Nobel Pause Prize and we're laughing our heads off.

00:12:03.000 That's why I'm doing it.

00:12:04.000 And then you didn't know the picture?

00:12:07.000 I was confused.

00:12:08.000 It was cut.

00:12:10.000 It was cut?

00:12:10.000 Yeah, I was like, this is the full video.

00:12:12.000 This is what we looked at.

00:12:13.000 Yeah, that pause is from the full video.

00:12:16.000 The person paused it as one frame was going to the next frame.

00:12:20.000 I thought we already discussed this.

00:12:21.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

00:12:22.000 The Nobel Peace Pause or the Nobel Pause Prize?

00:12:25.000 Nobel Pause Prize.

00:12:27.000 Which I came up with.

00:12:28.000 Thank you.

00:12:28.000 Oh, that's her.

00:12:29.000 That's Miss Universe. 1.00

00:12:31.000 Look at her.

00:12:31.000 Nice hair, Miss Universe.

00:12:34.000 I don't think it's very great at all.

00:12:35.000 No, you look like someone at my gym.

00:12:37.000 At least we beat Mars.

00:12:39.000 At least Earth is on the map.

00:12:42.000 Thanks, South Africa, for putting Earth on the map.

00:12:44.000 A lot of South African shit these days. 1.00

00:12:46.000 A lot of South African shit these days. 1.00

00:12:49.000 All right, are we almost ready?

00:12:52.000 Yeah, I think we got to talk about it.

00:12:54.000 It's fucking big news.

00:12:55.000 And we have a very special guest to talk about this.

00:12:59.000 So as of a little bit, Wednesday morning, it was just Jersey City Warzone, right?

00:13:07.000 The New York Post is printed at, I think, 4 in the morning, and they can only tell us what they know at that time.

00:13:13.000 And all we knew is there was a big shootout in Jersey City.

00:13:16.000 They said with long guns, which I thought was a weird phrase.

00:13:21.000 I think they mean assault rifles, which are, again, just the same rifle your dad has to hunt with deer, made to look badass.

00:13:28.000 This was in Jersey City, which has slightly more lax gun laws than Manhattan and the five boroughs.

00:13:35.000 But with 1-3, we knew around 11 o'clock that there was hints of anti-Semitism.

00:13:45.000 I don't think that is it, though.

00:13:47.000 No, that was just a press conference.

00:13:48.000 Never watch those.

00:13:50.000 They're so boring.

00:13:52.000 It's watching a press conference.

00:13:54.000 No, you should go back to it, though.

00:13:56.000 Watching a press conference is like saying, who knows the least?

00:14:00.000 What is the base, base, baseline of knowledge we have here?

00:14:04.000 There was a shooting, and our hearts go out to the victims.

00:14:07.000 We are investigating them.

00:14:08.000 We will punish them with the floats that stand alone.

00:14:10.000 I know.

00:14:12.000 I know everything you're saying.

00:14:13.000 And they can't make statements on speculation like if you hear Twitter is replete with speculation.

00:14:19.000 Right.

00:14:20.000 And much of it turns out to be true.

00:14:21.000 They have to play it too safe.

00:14:22.000 So I'd rather see 900 pictures, 900 theories.

00:14:25.000 I'm not going to take them to the bank, but by the way, I just farted.

00:14:29.000 I hope it doesn't ruin my political career.

00:14:31.000 Or mine.

00:14:33.000 Or yours.

00:14:34.000 Look at this.

00:14:35.000 Who wants to watch this?

00:14:37.000 Anyway, let's get back to Earth.

00:14:38.000 So 1-4, I think it was the mayor of Jersey City, who is Jewish, saying, yeah, this is looking pretty anti-Semitic.

00:14:45.000 What does it say there?

00:14:46.000 Jersey City mayor says Jewish market was targeted in the shooting incident.

00:14:50.000 Mayor Fulop said that after reviewing the CCTV footage, it has become clear that the two gunmen who are now dead targeted the kosher market.

00:14:57.000 A police officer and three civilians were killed in the gun battle.

00:15:00.000 Now it's a man and a woman, right? 0.86

00:15:01.000 You still say gun men?

00:15:03.000 They didn't know it was a man and a woman then.

00:15:06.000 It should be gun persons. 1.00

00:15:08.000 Yes.

00:15:09.000 Gun X. Gun X. Yeah, yeah.

00:15:13.000 That's interesting that they go to the kosher groceries because they did that after Battaclan.

00:15:18.000 After they shot up the Battaclan, they went to a Jewish neighborhood and they went to a Jewish grocery and started shooting people there. 0.93

00:15:25.000 It's knowing where Jews are going to be. 0.99

00:15:29.000 And yes, there is a rise in anti-Semitism, but it's not from these guys.

00:15:34.000 Despite what the media tells you, it's not a MAGA thing.

00:15:37.000 It's a Muslim thing. 0.93

00:15:38.000 It's a black thing.

00:15:40.000 It's a black Hebrew-Israelite thing.

00:15:42.000 And despite what the media tells you, the black Hebrew-Israelites have nothing to do with Christianity or white supremacy.

00:15:49.000 Although we're going to see people trying to crowbar that in.

00:15:52.000 The black Hebrew Israelites consider themselves Jews.

00:15:57.000 What do they think of people who wear yarmucas and all that?

00:16:00.000 They laugh at them.

00:16:03.000 I used to argue with them in Brooklyn on the street, and I'd say, so you're denying the Holocaust?

00:16:06.000 And they go, no, no, no, the Holocaust happened.

00:16:09.000 They go, we're denying its validity.

00:16:12.000 They wouldn't use a term like validity.

00:16:13.000 Just the guy literally laughed.

00:16:15.000 God, I just became so claustrophobic all of a sudden.

00:16:18.000 Yeah.

00:16:20.000 Yeah.

00:16:22.000 The guy literally laughed when I brought it up, and he said they got the wrong people.

00:16:27.000 We have always been the true Jews.

00:16:30.000 And it goes back to like Ethiopia and Zion and the Lion of blah, blah, blah.

00:16:36.000 I don't have time to research it.

00:16:38.000 True Holocaust, it says on the shirt.

00:16:40.000 True Holocaust? 0.80

00:16:41.000 Wow.

00:16:42.000 Yeah, so they say they should have got it.

00:16:43.000 Well, they shouldn't have got us, but if they were looking for Jews to massacre, we were the ones.

00:16:48.000 You killed the wrong guys.

00:16:49.000 You got the wrong dudes.

00:16:52.000 So it shows you how nuts they are.

00:16:53.000 So, of course, I don't read press conferences.

00:16:56.000 I go to eager politicians like Andy No 15.

00:17:00.000 That's when we started seeing what's really going on here.

00:17:03.000 Officials slow to name Jersey City shooters, but those with knowledge identified them as David Anderson and Francine Graham.

00:17:09.000 Anderson was part of black Hebrew Israelites, a black nationalist anti-Semitic sect.

00:17:15.000 Now, this story is dead.

00:17:17.000 Dead in the water.

00:17:18.000 It's like if with George Zimmerman, they go, Peruvian Jew, huh? 0.50

00:17:26.000 If we blank him up in Photoshop, we can keep this story.

00:17:30.000 Or that Filipino guy who put bombs in everyone's mailbox, they saw him and they thought, yeah, he is ethnically ambiguous, but let's white him up a bit. 0.58

00:17:41.000 And he did like Trump, so I think we can use it.

00:17:44.000 This can't be used.

00:17:46.000 So this story, I promise you, is now officially over.

00:17:50.000 And this shows you that Ron Coleman is right.

00:17:55.000 A lot of these people that we're up against, and I avoid the term liberals these days, but you know who I'm talking about.

00:18:03.000 They are Bolsheviks, and all they care about is power. 0.97

00:18:07.000 So they will happily, and these include secular Jews, Jewish people, Jewish media are going to happily bury this story because it doesn't fit their narrative. 0.51

00:18:17.000 And you see that this is the way they treat Israel all the time, like it's a pain in the ass.

00:18:21.000 And they often say, being Jewish has nothing to do with Israel.

00:18:27.000 That's got a lot to do with Israel.

00:18:28.000 Did you see yesterday, this is a little off topic, but in the news, BDS is this boycott Israel movement, right?

00:18:36.000 And Trump is trying to thwart it.

00:18:38.000 So he said that American, that Jews are a nationality, linking them to Israel.

00:18:46.000 So you could say, well, then it's anti-Semitic to have BDS.

00:18:50.000 Jewish liberals took that to mean American Jews are not real Jews.

00:18:54.000 So this guy is out there trying to stop Israel from being choked, and Jews are thwarting him and calling him anti-Semitic.

00:19:03.000 You can't win with these lunatics.

00:19:06.000 It's clown world.

00:19:07.000 Don't even try.

00:19:13.000 But check this out.

00:19:14.000 Caroline Orr.

00:19:16.000 She's always good for a laugh.

00:19:19.000 Check out her tweet, 1-8.

00:19:23.000 Fuck your slow. 1.00

00:19:28.000 Nope.

00:19:29.000 You sure that's...

00:19:36.000 There's 17 and then 19 and right in between is what I clicked on.

00:19:45.000 Maybe some of them are left over.

00:19:47.000 So we have Christian fringe group.

00:19:49.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:19:50.000 The Jersey City shooter was reportedly linked to the anti-Semitic black Hebrew Israelites.

00:19:56.000 Good job, Caroline.

00:19:57.000 You are dead on so far.

00:19:58.000 Broadly speaking, yeah, this is how broads speak. 0.96

00:20:02.000 A mirror image of the Christian identity extremist ideology. 0.86

00:20:07.000 What?

00:20:08.000 They're called Israelites, and Christians are now responsible. 1.00

00:20:14.000 Embraced by many white supremacists.

00:20:16.000 So they're called black, and they're called black Israelites, and who's responsible? 0.88

00:20:22.000 Christian white people. 0.56

00:20:24.000 That's how their brains work.

00:20:27.000 And what does she end it with?

00:20:30.000 But with very different power dynamics.

00:20:32.000 Yeah, the power dynamics are pretty different, my dear.

00:20:35.000 Why are we giving women a voice? 1.00

00:20:36.000 What are they contributing?

00:20:38.000 You go to their Facebook and it just, it's a butterfly and it says follow your dreams.

00:20:42.000 Thanks for thanks for your two cents.

00:20:47.000 And then go back to this Christian fringe group.

00:20:50.000 One seven?

00:20:56.000 NBC News says the mode of the Jersey City attack on the kosher store by the Christian fringe group.

00:21:02.000 How are black Hebrew Israelites a Christian fringe group?

00:21:06.000 It's almost like there's a cone, a funnel, and the end spout is white supremacy.

00:21:14.000 And whatever happens in the news has to go down into this cone and come out white supremacy.

00:21:20.000 Even if it is the exact opposite, then you know what they say?

00:21:23.000 It's a mirror image.

00:21:26.000 Anyway, 1-6, we learn from Gateway Pundit that David Anderson, who looks kind of like a Black Ryan Katsu Rivera, and what appears to be some Indian chick, are the ones responsible.

00:21:41.000 There we are.

00:21:42.000 Black Ryan. 0.70

00:21:44.000 Black Ryan and Kegel Mike and Kegel Mike with a wig. 0.88

00:21:52.000 Who?

00:21:54.000 Jordan Peele.

00:21:55.000 Jordan Peele?

00:21:56.000 That doesn't look nothing like Jordan Peele.

00:21:58.000 What's the other guy, but I forgot his name.

00:22:00.000 So you can't do the joke then.

00:22:02.000 So wait a minute.

00:22:03.000 You couldn't remember the guy in your joke, so you just made it his comedy partner?

00:22:07.000 Yeah.

00:22:07.000 That's not how that works.

00:22:09.000 Everybody gets them confused anyway.

00:22:10.000 What?

00:22:11.000 So if someone looks like Ed McMahon and you can't remember his name, you say Johnny Carson.

00:22:15.000 No, because people know who they are.

00:22:17.000 Like, by face.

00:22:19.000 It's Michael Keegan, I believe.

00:22:21.000 Keegan Michael Key.

00:22:22.000 Keegan Michael Key.

00:22:23.000 Okay.

00:22:24.000 That's an annoying name, isn't it?

00:22:25.000 It is irritating.

00:22:26.000 It's hard to remember.

00:22:27.000 That's him with a wig.

00:22:28.000 Christian Fringe Group.

00:22:30.000 And anyway, this is 1.9.

00:22:33.000 I'm sure now this is all over the news.

00:22:34.000 This is ancient news to you, but you may remember the black Hebrew Israelites from the Covington Catholic School case, where they said they began taunting them and threatening the boys.

00:22:48.000 And these kids were like rural kids or they were, were they from Kansas or Wichita or something like that?

00:22:55.000 They're small town, southern kids.

00:22:57.000 Kentucky.

00:22:58.000 Kentucky.

00:22:59.000 And they see these big, scary black men in the big city, in a fucking dangerous city like D.C. Oh, good. 1.00

00:23:05.000 They have audio of them getting harassed.

00:23:07.000 You are not savages.

00:23:08.000 You are the children of God, according to the Bible.

00:23:12.000 You are the children of Israel.

00:23:15.000 Before you started worshiping totem pose, you was worshiping the true living God.

00:23:21.000 That's right.

00:23:22.000 Totem pose.

00:23:23.000 Before you became an idol worshiper, you was worshiping the true and living God.

00:23:30.000 And this is the reason why this land was taken away from you.

00:23:35.000 Because you worship everything you're doing.

00:23:37.000 Wait a minute.

00:23:38.000 So he's saying that Catholicism is a bastardization of religion, yet they're a Christian fringe group?

00:23:44.000 He said, before you worship false idols, you used to worship the Jews, meaning his people.

00:23:49.000 How is that Christian? 1.00

00:23:50.000 He's bawling out Catholics and calling them a bunch of incest babies.

00:23:56.000 And he also referred to the students as future school shooters.

00:24:00.000 But we dropped that and we focused on the Indian with the drum who was in the dude's face. 0.62

00:24:08.000 That's the story because he smirked.

00:24:10.000 And what did they say on USA?

00:24:12.000 Or what was the USA network or whatever?

00:24:16.000 Isn't that kind of aggressive?

00:24:17.000 Standing your ground?

00:24:19.000 So black Hebrew Israelites can yell their faces off. 1.00

00:24:22.000 Indians can go up and pick fights. 0.99

00:24:24.000 But if someone white stands their ground. 0.78

00:24:28.000 It's bad news.

00:24:31.000 If you were to hear this from the next studio, you would probably think this is a Nazi podcast, right?

00:24:36.000 Because you keep hearing all this defense of the white male.

00:24:39.000 Maybe it's red pilling.

00:24:41.000 But it's like you keep attacking us.

00:24:43.000 I mean, there's a black people murder Jews, and we're told that it's white supremacy and Christian fringe.

00:24:50.000 That's why I'm bringing this up, because you started it.

00:24:53.000 You drew first blood, as Rambo would say.

00:24:56.000 Well, it's that thing where they were just practicing white oppressive.

00:25:02.000 What was that other story?

00:25:02.000 It was the Indian kids that did something, and they were like, well, they were just exhibiting white behavior.

00:25:06.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:25:07.000 There was Indian kids at a high school, and they were spitting on black girls, calling them the N-word.

00:25:12.000 I think one of them actually urinated on them.

00:25:14.000 And some black journalist who's got a name like painter, and she's just become a painter recently, she wrote an article about how they were subsuming or they were transmogrifying white racism, and it was coming out through them.

00:25:32.000 So it was like Ghostbusters.

00:25:35.000 The white racism went through their Indian bodies, possessed their arms, and then they were like, you're an N-word.

00:25:42.000 They were exhibiting whiteness. 0.94

00:25:43.000 You can't win.

00:25:44.000 You can't win.

00:25:46.000 And the irony is, my experience has been that white people are the least racist group there are.

00:25:51.000 Like a white guy, his daughter starts dating a black guy, pretty normal. 0.70

00:25:57.000 Not the end of the world.

00:25:58.000 Half the time they think it's really cool.

00:26:00.000 Go do that with a Korean dad or a Japanese dad. 0.93

00:26:04.000 Or why don't you, as a black man, start dating a white woman and introduce her to your black mom?

00:26:12.000 See how thrilled she is.

00:26:13.000 Why don't you walk your Asian, hey, black guy, walk your Asian girlfriend through the hood and see how well the other black women appreciate your new Asian date. 1.00

00:26:23.000 I'm guessing not a ton.

00:26:26.000 Apparently there was no P during that whole Indian thing.

00:26:29.000 No, what?

00:26:30.000 There was no urinating.

00:26:31.000 They were accused of urinating and yelling racial slurs.

00:26:33.000 It was just racial slurs.

00:26:35.000 Indian descent in quotes.

00:26:37.000 Indian descent.

00:26:38.000 What the fuck does that mean?

00:26:39.000 They say that the police now say that only the latter happened.

00:26:42.000 So only racial slurs were yelling slurs.

00:26:44.000 Oh, good.

00:26:44.000 National news for bad language, bad kids.

00:26:49.000 We agree that that's bad.

00:26:50.000 Yeah.

00:26:51.000 Misbehaving.

00:26:52.000 I think there's worse things happening in the world.

00:26:56.000 You don't get worse than this.

00:26:58.000 It's pretty bad.

00:26:59.000 This is it.

00:27:00.000 Did you hear the audio of that?

00:27:01.000 No?

00:27:02.000 Oh, by the way, before we get to the audio of that, the guy with the drum, remember him, right?

00:27:06.000 He said he was a Vietnam vet, which he technically was, but he was in the Vietnam War after it was over.

00:27:11.000 And he was a refrigerator repairman.

00:27:14.000 And he sucked at that and was fired.

00:27:18.000 He was discharged from the military for being too shitty at repairing fridges.

00:27:23.000 And you need a fridge in Vietnam.

00:27:25.000 You know what else you need?

00:27:26.000 I knew it.

00:27:28.000 Doctor, geez.

00:27:34.000 I keep thinking we have tons of time and we're way ahead of schedule.

00:27:37.000 And then I realize the clock's out of batteries.

00:27:40.000 We're actually late.

00:27:42.000 That's shit.

00:27:42.000 I'm kind of excited about this next guest, though.

00:27:44.000 Nathan Phillips is that Indian man. 0.95

00:27:47.000 Yes.

00:27:47.000 What, you were going to play audio of the...

00:27:51.000 Wait, don't find Nathan Phillips.

00:27:52.000 I gave the Nathan Phillips story as a As a filler for you to play the audio of the shooting.

00:27:58.000 Should we play this?

00:27:58.000 Is this a...

00:28:02.000 When did you get time to research this?

00:28:05.000 I just saw it had popped up on Twitter or something.

00:28:08.000 Let's see if they play any audio here.

00:28:12.000 Right here.

00:28:13.000 I've never experienced nothing like that in my life.

00:28:15.000 Police in Jersey City say it will be a while before this neighborhood returns to normal after a shootout terrified residents and put their homes in the center of a combat zone.

00:28:25.000 The investigation will exchange fire with police.

00:28:32.000 Just get out the street.

00:28:33.000 The shootout began at a cemetery just after noon, where officers confronted two people they believe on confidence.

00:28:41.000 That was a Bernard Bernie Kirk.

00:28:44.000 His son was one of the guys who saved the day and killed the shooters.

00:28:50.000 Sounds like Vietnam over there, man. 0.98

00:28:52.000 Shooters polluted with bullshit views on white people and Jews. 0.99

00:28:58.000 And I think the media is responsible for purporting these lies.

00:29:02.000 They're also responsible for not like the Covington bullshit not waking up people to the black Hebrew Israelites also led to this. 0.98

00:29:09.000 This whole, you know, there was an ABC News thing where they said, this is, we brought this up in advance.

00:29:15.000 This was an incident earlier.

00:29:18.000 We had a whole episode called Hate Has No Home Here or something like that, or the hate that hate made or something.

00:29:25.000 ABC News had this big special on hate, which was all about MAGA and anti-Semitism and racism coming from Trump supporters.

00:29:33.000 They didn't talk about the black Hebrew Israelites, but then they used this to say, see, we told you anti-Semitism was on the rise.

00:29:39.000 No.

00:29:40.000 Anti-Semitism is on the rise from actually the black Hebrew Israelites are not that common, obviously, but Muslims.

00:29:49.000 Anti-Semitism is everywhere.

00:29:50.000 You don't find it in MAGA.

00:29:52.000 You don't find it with Trump.

00:29:53.000 Drop that angle.

00:29:56.000 Look up this site.

00:29:56.000 We've seen this before.

00:29:58.000 It's all one.

00:29:59.000 That's one URL with obviously no apostrophe.

00:30:03.000 It's secular liberal Jews saying Trump is the issue. 0.79

00:30:11.000 We have to defend Muslims.

00:30:14.000 They should have a join the Jewish movement to defeat Trump.

00:30:17.000 They should have a big thing for the black Hebrew Israelites. 0.82

00:30:21.000 Of course.

00:30:21.000 Yeah.

00:30:22.000 Stop monitoring them.

00:30:24.000 Right?

00:30:25.000 Jews reject Trump.

00:30:27.000 Why?

00:30:28.000 Why?

00:30:29.000 All right.

00:30:30.000 What do you five?

00:30:31.000 Speaking of why, let me redo my tie, because we have a pretty, pretty important guy here to talk about this.

00:30:42.000 Ladies and gentlemen, without further to do...

00:30:46.000 God damn.

00:30:47.000 I can't believe men wore ties every day.

00:30:50.000 Bow ties.

00:30:51.000 Yeah, that is redunk. 1.00

00:30:52.000 That must have been a huge pain in the ass.

00:30:54.000 Never tied a bow tie, but I'm interested.

00:30:56.000 Well, I've got many videos online on how to do it.

00:31:03.000 Yes, let us.

00:31:05.000 Sorry.

00:31:06.000 Sorry about this, folks.

00:31:07.000 I'm watching.

00:31:08.000 I'm seeing how you do this.

00:31:09.000 You make the back part of the tie first.

00:31:11.000 Yeah.

00:31:12.000 You fold that, and then you stuff the front part of the tie through the back part of the tie.

00:31:17.000 There's a little hole that forms.

00:31:18.000 That's it?

00:31:19.000 Yep.

00:31:19.000 Oh, wow.

00:31:20.000 Way easier than tying a traditional tie.

00:31:23.000 No.

00:31:23.000 Because finding that hole is a bitch.

00:31:24.000 And then even after you put it all through, you have to keep shaping them until they make a bow tie shape.

00:31:30.000 All right, let's go to our guest.

00:31:32.000 God, are you there?

00:31:34.000 Hey, Gav.

00:31:36.000 Hey, Ryguy.

00:31:38.000 Hey, God.

00:31:39.000 Hey, Ryan, shut up.

00:31:40.000 You don't have a dad.

00:31:42.000 Hey, you noticed the song.

00:31:44.000 That was me, by the way.

00:31:46.000 You wrote that?

00:31:46.000 No, it was me that made the whole setup with the dads going away.

00:31:51.000 You know, a lot of people ask me why there is bad things in the world.

00:31:57.000 And I say, what's your options?

00:31:59.000 This is the problem with a lot of people.

00:32:00.000 They go, hey, I don't like that.

00:32:02.000 And you go, okay, what do you how does it work with you?

00:32:05.000 Like, people get mad at me where kids have a cancer.

00:32:09.000 And I go, Wait, do you have an accent there?

00:32:10.000 What are you a weird Russian guy? 1.00

00:32:12.000 Oh, I'm like, uh, it's not an accent.

00:32:15.000 You have an accent.

00:32:16.000 You say a boot.

00:32:17.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:32:18.000 Anyway, people ask me about the kids with cancer, and I go, okay, so no kids have cancer.

00:32:24.000 No kids get sick.

00:32:25.000 You kid, you jump off a hill, you can't hurt your leg.

00:32:29.000 You see that chick who got run over and her shin bone coming out her leg? 1.00

00:32:34.000 I just did that the other day.

00:32:36.000 Um, she knows now.

00:32:37.000 Okay, I don't jump in a car, on a moving car.

00:32:40.000 I don't pick a fight with the car.

00:32:42.000 You know, I have checks and balances in there.

00:32:44.000 Hold on a sec, hold on a sec.

00:32:45.000 How do we even know that you're God?

00:32:47.000 How do you know?

00:32:49.000 Okay, like, what do you want me to people who say this?

00:32:52.000 You want me to make a pencil float?

00:32:54.000 You want me to tell you that your first turn on was Christy Bradnox when you were a little kid?

00:32:59.000 You saw her wearing tube socks and the elasticity was gone and she used a rubber band and that made you sock guy forever now?

00:33:06.000 Holy shit, that is true about Christy Bradnox.

00:33:09.000 Hey, look at me.

00:33:11.000 Hey, what's up?

00:33:12.000 I'm Gavin.

00:33:13.000 Hey, look, I'm Ryan.

00:33:15.000 Is that good?

00:33:15.000 I mean, what do you want me to do?

00:33:17.000 I could make your brain believe it.

00:33:19.000 Okay, I totally believe that you're God.

00:33:20.000 Now, we just had these guys, the same guys that were messing with the Covington Catholic School kids, the black Hebrew Israelites. 0.98

00:33:27.000 I'm sure you're familiar with them.

00:33:29.000 We talk about them on the show quite a bit.

00:33:31.000 They're all over Brooklyn, and they're these guys who are black, black power. 0.99

00:33:34.000 They hate white people.

00:33:36.000 They more than just hate Jews. 0.95

00:33:38.000 They don't think Jews exist.

00:33:39.000 They think they're the Jews.

00:33:41.000 So when you mention the Holocaust to them, they laugh because they go, they got the wrong guys.

00:33:45.000 It would be like if you were trying to do the Armenian genocide and you got a bunch of Moldovans or something. 0.90

00:33:50.000 Anyway, they were just responsible, again, as I'm sure you know, for this shooting in Jersey City.

00:33:59.000 And it was an anti-Semitic attack at a kosher restaurant.

00:34:03.000 And when we see something as ridiculous as Hebrew Israelites murdering, I think they were Orthodox Jews, you think, where is God in all this? 0.55

00:34:13.000 What does God say about all this?

00:34:16.000 I'm glad you asked me about that.

00:34:19.000 This is kind of complex, and I have to speak down a little bit because, you know, when you get to Christopher Hitchens, people get all confused.

00:34:27.000 But the black Hebrew Israelites, they are just doing what all religions do, which is trying to figure out this, you know?

00:34:37.000 Yeah.

00:34:38.000 Jews, Catholics, Christians, everyone has a religion.

00:34:43.000 This is kind of, you know, I put a microchip at the very beginning, right?

00:34:46.000 You know, the first domino thing?

00:34:48.000 You know the movie where the guy eats the stuff at the beginning and then it goes in the water and then everyone has that forever?

00:34:57.000 Prometheus.

00:34:58.000 You mean the engineering sacrifice at the Prometheus 2012 movie?

00:35:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:05.000 So that's basically right.

00:35:06.000 You nailed it that.

00:35:07.000 In fact, some religions, like black Hebrew Israelites, get it worse than a fucking movie. 1.00

00:35:14.000 But some guys get close to understanding that in your DNA, I have built an awareness of me.

00:35:21.000 Awareness of Mother Nature.

00:35:22.000 I'm an awareness of what unifies us all.

00:35:24.000 That's what religion is.

00:35:26.000 These people going, I know something's up there.

00:35:28.000 I know, I look up, I see infinity.

00:35:31.000 Something crazy's going on.

00:35:33.000 Something crazy.

00:35:34.000 And some people fuck it up bad, like the cargo cult, you know them?

00:35:38.000 Yeah, that's that Aboriginal tribe in Papua New Guinea who they make planes out of wood. 1.00

00:35:43.000 Yeah, they worship a plane.

00:35:45.000 They see a plane go by, which is you guys.

00:35:48.000 You made that.

00:35:49.000 The Western world, right?

00:35:50.000 And they go, oh, it's magic.

00:35:51.000 It's a God.

00:35:53.000 What's happening to your accent now?

00:35:53.000 Wait a minute.

00:35:55.000 Now you sound more Italian.

00:35:57.000 Yeah, I am getting a little Italian now.

00:35:59.000 I like to move it around.

00:36:02.000 So Catholicism does a very good job.

00:36:05.000 Judaism, very good job.

00:36:08.000 That's closest to the truth.

00:36:09.000 So wait a minute.

00:36:10.000 The Jews don't believe that Jesus is your son.

00:36:13.000 The Catholics do.

00:36:15.000 Which group is right?

00:36:16.000 I'm not going to say that because you've got to figure that out.

00:36:19.000 But you're getting very warm.

00:36:22.000 And the black Hebrew Israelites, right, they could have been great.

00:36:25.000 They got Hebrew in there, they got Israelite.

00:36:28.000 But there's an animosity in this country, which is ironic because this America is a place close to God.

00:36:35.000 It's the one the most like God.

00:36:37.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:36:38.000 Now you're full Italian. 0.97

00:36:39.000 Now you're like, hey, close to God.

00:36:42.000 Or you like, you think like Buenos Arducci.

00:36:44.000 Yeah, I feel that too.

00:36:46.000 So when I set up this thing with the understanding that I live up here and I'm there and I, you know, you understand Mother Nature.

00:36:56.000 I'm Mother Nature.

00:36:56.000 You understand that there's a greater power, as the alcoholics say, right?

00:37:01.000 Once you realize that, you start formulating traditions and you get it together and you start recognizing something's out there.

00:37:08.000 And even it's funny with the atheists, they say, oh, I don't need that tradition.

00:37:14.000 And then you have like Joe Rogan, he does Sober October, which is just Lent.

00:37:18.000 Or, you know, they go to therapist, which is just going to a priest.

00:37:21.000 So that's why I say Catholicism very close.

00:37:24.000 You basically nailed it.

00:37:27.000 But these stupid fucking atheists, like Star Wars, you know Star Wars? 1.00

00:37:31.000 Yeah, yeah, I remember Star Wars.

00:37:33.000 Of course you do.

00:37:33.000 They have the thing in it.

00:37:35.000 It's called the minichondria or something like that, right?

00:37:38.000 Basically like mitochondria.

00:37:40.000 Anyway, these are these little cells that are in everybody and they relate to the force.

00:37:46.000 And Luke Skywalker, he has like a billion of them or something, right?

00:37:50.000 So he's the most Jedi guy because he has the most force in him.

00:37:53.000 That would be like a bishop or a pope.

00:37:56.000 So the guys who wrote Star Wars think they're coming up with this crazy thing, but it's just my same thing again and again.

00:38:02.000 Religion, religion, religion.

00:38:04.000 I'm giving you awareness that I exist.

00:38:07.000 Now with the black Hebrew Israelites, it was good, right? 1.00

00:38:10.000 Living in the most godlike country.

00:38:12.000 Because the more free you are, right?

00:38:14.000 The less government, the less communists, the less people playing God, the more natural you are.

00:38:19.000 The more natural you are, the closer you are to God.

00:38:22.000 So that's why America, with its least minimal government, is the most godlike country.

00:38:27.000 Because people are the most natural, the most nature-based.

00:38:30.000 You know what I mean?

00:38:31.000 I handle everything.

00:38:33.000 You kill somebody, you have nightmares.

00:38:35.000 These black Hebrew Israelites who kill these Jewish people at the Koshor place, they're going to be having nightmares.

00:38:41.000 They won't be part of society.

00:38:43.000 They feel very bad.

00:38:44.000 Yeah, I don't know if they feel very bad.

00:38:46.000 They might be considered martyrs in their world.

00:38:51.000 Are you going to send them to hell?

00:38:54.000 Let me get to that in a second with heaven and what heaven is, because I like what you had a great theory the other Day.

00:39:00.000 I like it a lot.

00:39:01.000 Thank you.

00:39:02.000 But anyway, this animosity that we have here in this country, in America, where they say it's racist and it's hellhole and it's sexist and it's trans and there's white supremacy in the White House, all of this negativity infects religion.

00:39:19.000 And then you have a group like black Hebrew Israelites that could just be a normal group of people who are black pride guys and it makes them have hate in their hearts. 0.77

00:39:30.000 And they soon start resenting white people, they resent Jews and they get evil.

00:39:36.000 And I blame in many ways this sort of ethnomasochism, this guilt-tripping, saying America sucks, America was never great.

00:39:44.000 That makes you hate America.

00:39:46.000 And that leads to radicals perverting religion.

00:39:52.000 By the way, fucking Ricky Gervais, this whole thing with him saying, oh, the problem with religious people is like Catholics think that they are right and then everyone else goes to hell and dies.

00:40:06.000 That's stupid.

00:40:08.000 Everyone is going to heaven who is good and doesn't commit sins.

00:40:13.000 The people like the cargo cult, they just fucked up a bit.

00:40:16.000 But no one thinks cargo cults go.

00:40:18.000 Okay, some fuckheads think that cargo cult guys are going to hell, but that's crazy.

00:40:23.000 For the most part, everyone is just trying to figure me out.

00:40:27.000 That's normal.

00:40:28.000 Now, the black Hebrew Israelites would have been on that path if they didn't get polluted by the hatred that we seed. 1.00

00:40:36.000 Mostly people like Caroline Orr.

00:40:40.000 She keeps seeding this hatred.

00:40:42.000 That kind of mentality is what happens.

00:40:44.000 And I think I might fuck with her, maybe give her shingles or something, because these cunts really aren't fucking up life for everyone. 1.00

00:40:52.000 They're getting into everyone's minds, thinking we live in a horrible country.

00:40:55.000 So maybe this is heaven that we're in right now.

00:40:59.000 And being a sperm or being, you know, a twinkle in your daddy's eye was like mortality.

00:41:04.000 Then we die when we're born, and now we're in heaven.

00:41:07.000 Yeah, I remember you saying that.

00:41:09.000 So you say heaven is something we can't conceive of.

00:41:13.000 That I like.

00:41:14.000 Because the whole like angel wings and playing a harp, that's just us trying to put a handle on it, you know, trying to figure shit out.

00:41:23.000 But in reality, it's something unfathomable to you, what is up here.

00:41:27.000 That's why I dress like this guy.

00:41:28.000 That's why I have a funny voice so you can understand me.

00:41:32.000 But if you could really see me, I'd be more like a gas, more like a fat.

00:41:36.000 More like a fat?

00:41:40.000 And the thing about your theory is it recognizes that what happens after you die is unfathomable.

00:41:46.000 For example, these guys who do the murder, right?

00:41:49.000 Black Hebrew Israelites, they will be drenched in guilt. 0.95

00:41:54.000 They will not be part of society.

00:41:55.000 They will not be raising family.

00:41:57.000 They will not be part of next generation or next generation or next generation.

00:42:00.000 They are cut out of the big picture.

00:42:02.000 And the big picture is all of us unified trying to improve life.

00:42:05.000 And I know that the naysayers, the ethnomasochists and the negative people, they say, oh, life's getting worse.

00:42:11.000 Look at lifespan.

00:42:13.000 It's going up.

00:42:14.000 Everything's going up.

00:42:15.000 Quality of air, everything's going up.

00:42:17.000 We are making heaven here on earth.

00:42:19.000 I gotcha.

00:42:21.000 So when these guys do these things, they don't become part of the big picture, which is making life better.

00:42:26.000 Same as when I have like a sister and a brother have sex, they make a retard. 1.00

00:42:31.000 I do that on purpose.

00:42:32.000 That's a check in balance.

00:42:34.000 So don't worry about these murders.

00:42:35.000 I mean, they should be prosecuted, of course, to the full extent of the law.

00:42:38.000 But eventually, you're going to see that these people do get punished by me.

00:42:45.000 That's why I always push forgiveness.

00:42:47.000 I'm not pushing forgiveness today, by the way.

00:42:49.000 Fuck those assholes.

00:42:51.000 But I push forgiveness from people like Ricky Gervais, who fucks up and gets this whole atheism thing wrong.

00:42:57.000 Do women shit? 1.00

00:43:00.000 I'm not answering that.

00:43:01.000 Okay, I think...

00:43:11.000 And it's conceivable that this is heaven and that what these men did is hell, bringing hell to earth, bringing hell to heaven?

00:43:22.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:43:28.000 Oh, so he's gone.

00:43:30.000 Huh.

00:43:32.000 Well, he's never gone.

00:43:35.000 I can undo my tie now.

00:43:36.000 God is gone.

00:43:37.000 Yeah.

00:43:38.000 A lot of death in this episode.

00:43:40.000 A lot of death.

00:43:41.000 You know what we should do, though?

00:43:42.000 He was talking about a woman who has a bone coming out of her nose. 1.00

00:43:47.000 I mean, sorry, her leg. 0.99

00:43:48.000 Oof.

00:43:50.000 Go to final video.

00:43:51.000 It's actually the last link.

00:43:52.000 I have to show you what he was talking about.

00:43:55.000 I really don't want to see this.

00:43:57.000 Yeah, warning alert.

00:43:58.000 This is graphic violence, NSFW.

00:44:01.000 You're about to see a woman's bone sticking out of her leg. 1.00

00:44:03.000 So hold on.

00:44:04.000 Hold on to your cotton socks.

00:44:06.000 Warning alert is like two warnings in one.

00:44:08.000 Warning warning. 0.67

00:44:09.000 Yeah, you're a warning.

00:44:11.000 Aktong. 0.89

00:44:12.000 We have a warning alert coming.

00:44:13.000 If you don't like the letters NSFW, you're in for a tweet.

00:44:18.000 I'm not going to watch.

00:44:20.000 You got to watch.

00:44:22.000 Oh, damn.

00:44:24.000 Look, why are you attacking a car?

00:44:27.000 This is where it gets really bad.

00:44:29.000 Look away now.

00:44:30.000 Oh, she's trying to run the foot. 1.00

00:44:31.000 Oh, God.

00:44:32.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:44:35.000 That's attempted murder, right?

00:44:37.000 Yeah, I would think so.

00:44:38.000 Attempted vehicular manslaughter or something?

00:44:41.000 Oh, shit.

00:44:42.000 So she goes to get up.

00:44:45.000 But her bone is sticking out of her ankle.

00:44:48.000 Oh, my God.

00:44:50.000 Did he get out of the car?

00:44:52.000 Eww, gross.

00:44:54.000 I hate it.

00:44:55.000 Call 911, dude.

00:44:56.000 Why are you filming this?

00:45:01.000 Yeah.

00:45:02.000 That's rough.

00:45:03.000 Wait, is that guy next to her filming?

00:45:06.000 Did you see that?

00:45:07.000 Someone was walking up.

00:45:11.000 Is that guy filming?

00:45:15.000 Yes, he is.

00:45:15.000 Hopefully calling it.

00:45:16.000 No, yeah, he is filming.

00:45:18.000 Holy crap.

00:45:20.000 We're sick.

00:45:21.000 We're all in film school.

00:45:23.000 We're all AP reporters these days.

00:45:26.000 When I was in Vegas, there was some shit going on, and I chose not to film it.

00:45:29.000 I was like, People would love to see this, but I mean, what am I?

00:45:34.000 A fucking robot person?

00:45:36.000 Security camera?

00:45:37.000 What?

00:45:38.000 And I just watched the guy punch a security guard and get smashed up on the floor of the casino.

00:45:45.000 It was amazing.

00:45:45.000 Oh, I know that story.

00:45:46.000 And you didn't film it because it's our friend.

00:45:49.000 Yeah.

00:45:49.000 Minor D. But he wasn't really my friend at the time.

00:45:52.000 I mean, he was being an asshole.

00:45:53.000 He called me.

00:45:54.000 He's like, he said, I walked up to him.

00:45:55.000 He was on Acid.

00:45:56.000 He was like, I know you're kind.

00:45:58.000 Did he mean Japanese, Puerto Rican?

00:46:00.000 He meant robots.

00:46:01.000 Yeah.

00:46:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:46:02.000 I remember that.

00:46:02.000 He was on meth or something.

00:46:04.000 He thought everyone was a robot.

00:46:05.000 He was on ACID, and he was like, you're actually pretty convincing.

00:46:09.000 Ouch.

00:46:10.000 Thanks.

00:46:11.000 Watch this.

00:46:14.000 That's a funny thing to do.

00:46:16.000 Go to people on meth and go, you want to see the quality of cyborgs these days?

00:46:19.000 Watch this.

00:46:24.000 Damn.

00:46:28.000 Boston Dynamics, baby.

00:46:32.000 How would you show off if you're a really realistic cyborg?

00:46:34.000 Kalamazoo.

00:46:37.000 I guess sing.

00:46:38.000 Pulikala.

00:46:39.000 Roop.

00:46:40.000 Boop, boop. 1.00

00:46:43.000 Kind of looks like you're malfunctioning, though.

00:46:47.000 You know, people believe that there's clones, right?

00:46:49.000 My kids will say shit like this.

00:46:51.000 They don't believe it, but all that crazy shit goes through their filters.

00:46:55.000 So they know about the Illuminati and all this stuff.

00:46:57.000 Really?

00:46:58.000 I don't think my daughter thinks we went to the moon.

00:47:00.000 Wow.

00:47:00.000 And yeah, there's clones.

00:47:01.000 So like Christina Aguilera, okay, she's really good.

00:47:06.000 We don't want to lose her.

00:47:08.000 So we clone her a bunch. 0.95

00:47:10.000 And then the first Christina can die, or I think they kill her. 0.78

00:47:13.000 And then the other clones will start taking over, right?

00:47:17.000 But the problem with this is some of the clones start malfunctioning.

00:47:22.000 And they'll like, hey, hey, Christina, how was your tour?

00:47:25.000 My tour is time.

00:47:29.000 And I think they also believe they're cyborgs too.

00:47:32.000 But look at like clone malfunctioning.

00:47:35.000 And these fucking loonies think that they've caught like the Illuminati screwing up.

00:47:42.000 Got them red-handed.

00:47:43.000 They don't do anything to...

00:47:47.000 So then they go, uh-oh, we gotta turf that one.

00:47:50.000 Human clone.

00:47:51.000 All I'm getting is clone wars.

00:47:53.000 Human clone.

00:47:55.000 Maybe Christine Anguillera clone? 0.65

00:47:57.000 Because I'm pretty sure I remember her.

00:47:58.000 She was a clone. 0.80

00:48:03.000 What?

00:48:04.000 Nothing.

00:48:04.000 You heard that?

00:48:05.000 Yeah.

00:48:06.000 Human clones malfunctioning.

00:48:07.000 Got him.

00:48:08.000 There we go.

00:48:09.000 Let's see these clones doing their clone-ass yet. 1.00

00:48:12.000 So an extremely important...

00:48:22.000 Are you okay?

00:48:23.000 Yes.

00:48:23.000 Hold on.

00:48:26.000 Hold on.

00:48:26.000 You'll be fine.

00:48:28.000 Hold on.

00:48:28.000 Hey, camera guy, we want to see this.

00:48:30.000 There we go.

00:48:30.000 Okay.

00:48:32.000 Yeah, camera guy, get in there.

00:48:33.000 You want to see a clone malfunctioning.

00:48:35.000 We actually go back to...

00:48:39.000 Sir.

00:48:40.000 What is she laughing at?

00:48:43.000 Ah, he's having a heart attack.

00:48:44.000 It's not a stroke, it's a malfunction.

00:48:47.000 Science looks like it over at this time.

00:48:49.000 When that could have happened at any time, over the course of the five and a half years of the US.

00:48:52.000 Boring.

00:48:55.000 Okay.

00:48:56.000 I guess I'll try to pep it up a little more.

00:48:59.000 Wait, wait, go back.

00:48:59.000 The guy was malfunctioning because he was going too fast?

00:49:02.000 No, look at her in the back. 1.00

00:49:03.000 Looks like it over at this time.

00:49:04.000 To the left.

00:49:05.000 Back and to the left.

00:49:07.000 Oh, I see.

00:49:10.000 Okay.

00:49:10.000 Boring.

00:49:12.000 How'd your speech go today, honey?

00:49:14.000 Okay.

00:49:15.000 Did everyone like it?

00:49:18.000 Who told you is there is one issue out there.

00:49:22.000 Yeah, her knees are malfunctioning because her eating malfunctioning has been happening for a long time. 0.98

00:49:26.000 We noticed a lot of these clones are obese, and it's hot out when they malfunction.

00:49:32.000 I guess they get grease in some of the joints.

00:49:35.000 Yeah, let's make a fat clone. 0.99

00:49:36.000 Oh, is that the chief of police in Chicago?

00:49:39.000 He just realized that affirmative action, I mean, that racial profiling was actually helping Chicago before he banned it.

00:49:47.000 Did he die?

00:49:48.000 Or a statement hearing?

00:49:50.000 Dyer got fired.

00:49:51.000 He got fired right before his retirement.

00:49:53.000 Come on, come on, walk with me.

00:49:54.000 Walk with me.

00:49:56.000 I got you.

00:49:57.000 Did you see her Stepford wife stare? 1.00

00:50:00.000 I'm fine.

00:50:02.000 Hey, everything's cool.

00:50:04.000 Hate has no hope.

00:50:05.000 I can still deliver.

00:50:06.000 She'd be good in bed.

00:50:08.000 If someone is that determined to keep, if the show must go on, she doesn't break for queefs. 0.99

00:50:14.000 No.

00:50:14.000 She keeps plowing through.

00:50:17.000 Oh, next time I do that, by the way, and you're a photographer, drop to the floor and take a photo upwards so it looks like I'm Zeke Heiling.

00:50:23.000 Uh-oh.

00:50:25.000 Just pause.

00:50:25.000 Have these people who make these compilations ever heard of fainting?

00:50:29.000 Yeah.

00:50:31.000 Oh, Rachel.

00:50:32.000 Quick, quick, chaps, if we could. 0.98

00:50:34.000 Does this do anything?

00:50:37.000 I love it.

00:50:48.000 I love when people faint.

00:50:50.000 Remember my friend Eddie once, he was just sitting at a desk, just pause, and he just started going.

00:50:55.000 He's looking and he's on his community and he just started going.

00:50:59.000 And I could not stop laughing.

00:51:02.000 Once I knew he wasn't dying, right?

00:51:04.000 Yeah.

00:51:04.000 And he sort of came up and he's like, whoa, huh.

00:51:06.000 He had been working for two days straight.

00:51:08.000 So he just had like a breakdown.

00:51:10.000 What's this bitch got? 1.00

00:51:11.000 West.

00:51:12.000 Clone disease.

00:51:14.000 Who cloned that?

00:51:15.000 Oh, God.

00:51:18.000 No.

00:51:19.000 I'm not feeling them good.

00:51:24.000 No feeling.

00:51:26.000 Here we go again.

00:51:28.000 It's West.

00:51:30.000 No, I'm not feeling uncoded.

00:51:32.000 That reminds me of that chick who puked at the DNC rally. 1.00

00:51:36.000 And then she tried to make it awesome. 0.89

00:51:37.000 She goes, I just threw up.

00:51:39.000 And everyone goes, yeah.

00:51:40.000 Oh, yeah, the girl, yeah.

00:51:41.000 You rock.

00:51:43.000 You rocket puking.

00:51:46.000 By the way, rocket puking is what happens when you work at NASA and you become overwhelmed by your workload.

00:51:53.000 I didn't know that.

00:51:54.000 Yeah, rocket puking. 0.98

00:51:56.000 Rock.

00:51:56.000 And a lot of people who rocket puke rock at puking.

00:52:00.000 Ah, I see, yes.

00:52:01.000 Ah, I see.

00:52:02.000 Rock at it, if you will.

00:52:08.000 Oh.

00:52:10.000 Oh.

00:52:14.000 This is demanding gun control.

00:52:16.000 Do you think God made her barf? 0.82

00:52:17.000 Hey, God, can you come back on the show?

00:52:20.000 The patriarchy made her barf, okay? 0.65

00:52:23.000 Okay.

00:52:26.000 Why do the cameramen always leave when the good part happens?

00:52:29.000 I don't know.

00:52:30.000 And then, meanwhile, heartless beings in the streets that could be calling the police video bone sticking out.

00:52:36.000 We got a problem.

00:52:38.000 Your job as a cameraman is to show us the money.

00:52:41.000 Yeah, why is there nobody in the front row?

00:52:43.000 There's got to be some footage.

00:52:44.000 Look, she's clapping.

00:52:45.000 You bar.

00:52:50.000 Okay.

00:52:51.000 Well, not for us.

00:52:52.000 I just threw up on national television and it feels great.

00:52:55.000 I mean, she did own it.

00:52:57.000 I mean, that would have sucked if she was like, what I was doing, I was burping, and then someone threw a coffee at me in reverse.

00:53:09.000 Well, all right, we'll buy it.

00:53:10.000 Okay.

00:53:10.000 I never heard of reverse throwing before.

00:53:13.000 Sounds a lot like throwing up.

00:53:16.000 I just threw in backwards.

00:53:19.000 Let's make the one second from the right fall. 0.91

00:53:21.000 Well, yeah, these are all clones, by the way.

00:53:25.000 Oh, we didn't see that?

00:53:28.000 I saw it.

00:53:29.000 Made me horny.

00:53:31.000 Can I help you?

00:53:32.000 We're all out in a little.

00:53:35.000 That's, you know what I just said to them?

00:53:36.000 I said, I can't fuck you all.

00:53:38.000 And she got upset.

00:53:40.000 She's like, I hope it's not me who got up.

00:53:42.000 I'm a busy man.

00:53:42.000 I'm sorry.

00:53:43.000 Oh, it's Katie Parrott see.

00:53:45.000 I'm going to ask Josh about that.

00:53:47.000 Oh my God, that was a bad one.

00:53:51.000 My buddy Josh LaCash, who did the mailbag number two with me?

00:53:53.000 Uh-huh.

00:53:54.000 He knows her.

00:53:55.000 That's great.

00:53:56.000 She called him weird because he wore a MAGA hat.

00:53:57.000 Get her on the show.

00:53:58.000 Our first caress.

00:54:00.000 Caress?

00:54:03.000 Everybody loved this.

00:54:04.000 Oh, she said caress instead of guest?

00:54:07.000 Our first caress is a careless whisper.

00:54:10.000 The first caress is my face caressing the floor.

00:54:13.000 Check it out.

00:54:13.000 Our first caress.

00:54:15.000 Oops.

00:54:21.000 Did she just see a demon?

00:54:25.000 Was there somebody in the crowd doing this?

00:54:28.000 Oh, man.

00:54:29.000 I don't have the wire.

00:54:30.000 Drop it like it's hot.

00:54:31.000 Drop it like it's hot.

00:54:31.000 Drop it.

00:54:32.000 Drop it like it.

00:54:33.000 What are you doing?

00:54:34.000 Why are you showing your screen to everyone?

00:54:36.000 Oh, man.

00:54:36.000 I had a stroke.

00:54:38.000 I think I just clone malfunction look like when there's a keyboard in front of it.

00:54:42.000 Okay, play that.

00:54:44.000 Drop it like it's hot.

00:54:45.000 Drop, drop it like a...

00:55:01.000 Oh, I got the wrong person.

00:55:04.000 And that was number one in Australia, New Zealand.

00:55:08.000 I zap you with the malfunction.

00:55:11.000 The lost scroll, it's out there.

00:55:12.000 All right, Alex, we might come back to you if talking to God has given me divine powers.

00:55:18.000 So, yeah.

00:55:20.000 I zap you.

00:55:22.000 And you die. 0.79

00:55:23.000 Not die.

00:55:24.000 Thank you.

00:55:28.000 I hereby zap you.

00:55:31.000 I zap you.

00:55:32.000 You will fall.

00:55:34.000 Fall.

00:55:37.000 Who should I zap?

00:55:39.000 I zap that black man. 1.00

00:55:41.000 Zap you, black man. 1.00

00:55:42.000 Zap you. 0.99

00:55:46.000 Who shall I zap?

00:55:48.000 Who shall I destroy?

00:55:49.000 Hey lady, Arabic lady, your language is stupid. 1.00

00:55:52.000 I hereby zap you.

00:55:54.000 Forget what you're talking about and faint.

00:55:57.000 You're good at this, dude.

00:55:58.000 It's fun.

00:55:59.000 Hey, Blabbermouth, you're not qualified. 0.82

00:56:02.000 I hereby zap you, you're breathing in front of me. 1.00

00:56:09.000 Oh, I didn't know who to zap.

00:56:10.000 I'm zapping this man at the podium.

00:56:13.000 You're going to lose energy.

00:56:15.000 You're going to fall down.

00:56:18.000 That's a twofer.

00:56:19.000 You got the podium, too.

00:56:21.000 Hey, man in the glasses, I hereby strip you of your energy.

00:56:24.000 Your spine no longer works.

00:56:26.000 You can't see.

00:56:27.000 Your equilibrium is over, and so are you, sir.

00:56:32.000 There you go.

00:56:35.000 Wait, pause.

00:56:38.000 Who added that stupid beat?

00:56:40.000 I did.

00:56:41.000 Wait, stop it.

00:56:42.000 You said drop it like it's hot.

00:56:44.000 No.

00:56:45.000 So you're the one ruining this?

00:56:46.000 I found the culprit.

00:56:47.000 I was about to criticize the video guy for wrecking the song.

00:56:51.000 Stop playing Snoop Dogg.

00:56:52.000 The reason I sang drop it like it's hot is because I was talking about when Hillary collapses because it looks like she's building up. 1.00

00:56:58.000 And I had done another video about that.

00:57:00.000 Bad news for the Obama administration.

00:57:02.000 Shut up, bitch. 1.00

00:57:03.000 We have this new CNN ORC.

00:57:05.000 I'm sick of CNN.

00:57:07.000 I hereby zap you.

00:57:09.000 Turn around.

00:57:11.000 Yeah.

00:57:11.000 Stop making sense.

00:57:13.000 Get confused.

00:57:15.000 End the segment.

00:57:17.000 Get her out of here. 1.00

00:57:21.000 Hey, German guy. 0.97

00:57:22.000 Schlaventie Gutenberg.

00:57:26.000 Tremann.

00:57:27.000 Tremann.

00:57:32.000 I hereby cripple thee. 0.97

00:57:32.000 Black man. 0.97

00:57:34.000 Zush. 0.84

00:57:39.000 Everybody came to the attention of God.

00:57:40.000 It's fun being God.

00:57:42.000 It's like a trust fault that nobody.

00:57:43.000 You can touch your glasses all you want.

00:57:44.000 I hereby remove your spine and turn you into a human stock. 1.00

00:57:49.000 Fall.

00:57:51.000 Fall.

00:57:52.000 Stop carrying him. 0.96

00:57:54.000 Touch your nose and leave your soul. 0.95

00:57:57.000 Goodbye.

00:57:58.000 I curse thee.

00:58:04.000 Clones are real.

00:58:05.000 A human sucks.

00:58:06.000 You're done.

00:58:07.000 Bye-bye.

00:58:08.000 You're out.

00:58:08.000 Hi Wiggly.

00:58:10.000 I like how he's looking at him.

00:58:14.000 It's weird how they picked up his legs.

00:58:16.000 Hey, old man, die. 0.68

00:58:19.000 Casey was about 15 minutes into his speech on terrorism when he started slowing down.

00:58:25.000 You start chatting with God, then you're just cloning people.

00:58:29.000 Poison kicked in.

00:58:30.000 Lady in the back. 0.98

00:58:32.000 You're out of here.

00:58:34.000 No, no, no.

00:58:36.000 Oh, I got you.

00:58:40.000 And by proven cost savings in the health system that everybody agrees with.

00:58:44.000 Whoa, Weebles wobble, but they do fall down. 1.00

00:58:48.000 I'm back.

00:58:48.000 I'm fine.

00:58:50.000 You're not fine.

00:58:50.000 Yeah, no, I'm not.

00:58:52.000 And the healthcare for children was a subject.

00:58:55.000 I can't see him.

00:58:58.000 This happens a lot about Al Gore.

00:58:59.000 Oh, I know what it is.

00:59:00.000 He doesn't use deodorant because it's bad for the environment.

00:59:03.000 The spray on.

00:59:04.000 He's worried about the Freon.

00:59:07.000 And he reeks so bad that people fall.

00:59:11.000 Yes.

00:59:14.000 Stagnates, all right.

00:59:17.000 Bye-bye.

00:59:18.000 All right, this is stupid.

00:59:20.000 I can watch these all day.

00:59:23.000 Basically made it to the end.

00:59:26.000 Dude, talking about Syria, yes.

00:59:28.000 I wanted to get into Trump for a second here for a change.

00:59:31.000 We never talk about this guy.

00:59:32.000 No one does.

00:59:33.000 At least talked about president in history.

00:59:35.000 I wish Mad Magazine would cover him just once.

00:59:41.000 So he was depicted by some conservatives as Thanos.

00:59:44.000 Creator of Thanos responds to the Trump ad, seeing that pompous fool using...

00:59:56.000 Was fucker in the pussy. 1.00

00:59:58.000 Hello, I've noticed when you have fame and wealth and you're around a lady, she seems enamoured. 0.97

01:00:05.000 You could almost grab her... 0.88

01:00:09.000 Do you know what the word pompous means?

01:00:11.000 Using my creation to stroke his infantile ego, it finally struck me that the leader of my country and the free world actually enjoys comparing himself to a mass murderer.

01:00:23.000 See, this is the problem.

01:00:24.000 Our literature in this day and age is superhero movies.

01:00:28.000 So we don't see the humor when they make Donald Trump Darth Vader.

01:00:31.000 That's like making Donald Trump Satan because that's our Bible.

01:00:35.000 So these characters are not just silly characters to most people.

01:00:40.000 Thanos is a mass murderer.

01:00:42.000 Really?

01:00:43.000 What did he mass murder?

01:00:44.000 A bunch of cartoons?

01:00:46.000 Ooh, I'm scared.

01:00:49.000 Let me see the video he's talking about.

01:00:51.000 Because the reactions were priceless.

01:00:57.000 If you look at all the reactions, there's all these people explaining the plot.

01:01:00.000 And they're going, this was actually shortly before Thanos fucking realized he had lost and was going to die.

01:01:09.000 And that's what happened to him in this video.

01:01:12.000 He died.

01:01:13.000 What's going on now?

01:01:15.000 Link don't work.

01:01:18.000 Why not?

01:01:19.000 Don't know.

01:01:20.000 But if you just click on that link, that one tweet, it should bring you to all the other comments on it.

01:01:26.000 I know.

01:01:28.000 No, you don't have to go to the actual story.

01:01:30.000 You're not going to get the fucking thing.

01:01:32.000 There you go, my friend.

01:01:34.000 Very simple stuff.

01:01:35.000 I am inevitable.

01:01:40.000 On a solemn day, I recall that the first order of business for members of...

01:01:51.000 Like, how can you not get that joke?

01:01:53.000 How can you be offended by that?

01:01:56.000 And we have the guy who created Thanos.

01:01:58.000 He was saying what we all know to be true, which is he won this impeachment thing.

01:02:03.000 You came at him with Russia. 0.95

01:02:04.000 You came at him with impeachment.

01:02:06.000 You keep coming at him with these nothing burgers and he keeps winning.

01:02:09.000 Just like Thanos.

01:02:10.000 Yes, but Thanos technically lost.

01:02:13.000 They just don't get anything anymore.

01:02:15.000 Is it willful ignorance?

01:02:19.000 Another example of this is this thing.

01:02:21.000 I saw Alyssa Milano tweeted it.

01:02:23.000 This is the one who's been crying hysterically about life.

01:02:26.000 This is 1.9.

01:02:29.000 She promotes this video that says, everyone's laughing at us.

01:02:31.000 And I thought this was a very relevant video because it implies that we give a flying fuck what European leaders think of us.

01:02:39.000 Have you seen the Minister of Health for, I think it's Sweden or Finland or something?

01:02:45.000 She's this big.

01:02:47.000 Just look up obese minister of health.

01:02:51.000 She's gigantic, enormous.

01:02:54.000 Yeah, there she is. 1.00

01:02:56.000 That's the Minister of Health?

01:02:57.000 Yes.

01:03:00.000 She's accused of being too big to be credible.

01:03:02.000 Yeah, correct.

01:03:03.000 So we don't want these people laughing at us.

01:03:06.000 You look at all their war ministers, too, like the Minister of Defense for all these European countries.

01:03:11.000 They're all broads.

01:03:12.000 And then you look at China and the Middle East, and they're all murderers and ex-military guys. 0.97

01:03:21.000 So no one gives a shit what Europe thinks about us.

01:03:24.000 In fact, if Merkel has a problem with America, we feel proud.

01:03:27.000 But let's go back to that original video.

01:03:30.000 World leaders caught on camera laughing about President Trump.

01:03:33.000 Several world leaders mocking President Trump.

01:03:39.000 They're laughing at him.

01:03:41.000 My administration is a more than first of all.

01:03:44.000 Is there a bigger laughing stock than Justin Trudeau with his blackface? 0.99

01:03:48.000 And how many videos have we seen of him going up to Trump and going, hey, oh, you guys are, oh, okay.

01:03:54.000 I'll be over here.

01:03:55.000 I'll be putting stuff in my little notepad, my little briefcase book, my little man purse.

01:04:01.000 I've seen that a billion times.

01:04:03.000 And Macron is laughing at him.

01:04:05.000 Macron, who dated his teacher when he was 14 years old and then married her.

01:04:10.000 She's like 25 years older than him.

01:04:12.000 Of course, childless.

01:04:13.000 She's too old to make babies. 1.00

01:04:15.000 And this guy is such a loser that he makes socialist France go delirious and say, why are macaroons coming up?

01:04:28.000 Anyway, he makes socialists delirious, and that's why you have the yellow jackets.

01:04:36.000 Because they saw his tax plan and said, that's fucking insane.

01:04:39.000 And you don't get much more socialists than France, as far as European countries go.

01:04:43.000 So to piss them off, take some real top-level incompetence.

01:04:47.000 Now, as far as the other blonde guy laughing, I don't believe you that that was from Justin Trudeau.

01:04:53.000 I'll give you that his team's jaw dropped when he said something crazy.

01:04:57.000 And I'll even give you that Macron was laughing.

01:05:00.000 But Boris, what's his name?

01:05:01.000 Johnson, also being part of that?

01:05:04.000 Nah.

01:05:05.000 I'm not buying it.

01:05:06.000 All right, next, what do we got?

01:05:09.000 Any administration in the history of our country.

01:05:13.000 Didn't expect that reaction, but that's okay.

01:05:16.000 World leaders mocking.

01:05:18.000 I've done more than any other leader in the history of our country.

01:05:22.000 And of course they laugh.

01:05:23.000 You know who's laughing?

01:05:24.000 Mugabe is out there.

01:05:26.000 Saudi Arabian sheiks, like human garbage despots, monsters. 1.00

01:05:33.000 The world is a shithole.

01:05:35.000 China just randomly kills. 0.89

01:05:37.000 You love Muslims? 1.00

01:05:38.000 They randomly kill Muslims just because.

01:05:41.000 They arrest people for Facebook posts in Britain.

01:05:44.000 These countries suck.

01:05:48.000 I want them laughing at us.

01:05:50.000 I didn't think it was cool when everyone liked us because our president was black. 0.99

01:05:54.000 Ooh.

01:05:54.000 I like that he laughed it off, though.

01:05:57.000 Well, he knows he's talking to assholes.

01:06:00.000 Meanwhile, he's paid for that room.

01:06:01.000 The UN is paid for by America.

01:06:03.000 And they're all sitting there shitting on us all day.

01:06:06.000 He was, and he cut their money drastically.

01:06:09.000 And they fucking hate him for it.

01:06:11.000 Didn't expect that reaction, but that's okay.

01:06:13.000 Thank you.

01:06:20.000 Keep going.

01:06:21.000 Why do you keep leaving it?

01:06:25.000 Allies are deeply worried about him.

01:06:27.000 They say he's becoming increasingly isolated.

01:06:29.000 Something is very wrong.

01:06:32.000 The world sees Trump for what he is, insincere, wait a minute.

01:06:37.000 So this is the best political out of this primary.

01:06:39.000 We have CNN, MSNBC, and that sounds like Joe Biden talking about how he's not a good leader.

01:06:46.000 These are all people that are trying to take him down or running against him.

01:06:51.000 Dangerously incompetent and incapable, in my view, of world leadership.

01:06:56.000 And if we give Donald Trump four more years, did they get outrageously and dangerously wrong?

01:07:03.000 My view of world leadership.

01:07:05.000 And if we give Donald Trump four more years, the world sees Trump for what he is.

01:07:10.000 Insincere, ill-informed, corrupt, dangerously incompetent, and incapable, in my view, of world leadership.

01:07:17.000 And if we give Donald Trump four more years, we'll have a great deal of difficulty if ever being able to recover America's standing in the world and our capacity to bring nations together.

01:07:28.000 Our capacity to bring nations together?

01:07:32.000 By the way, Joe, you want to get into laughing stocks?

01:07:35.000 You nibbled your wife's fingers. 0.78

01:07:38.000 She goes like this, explaining something.

01:07:40.000 He sees her fingers near him and goes...

01:07:53.000 What kind of brain does he have?

01:07:55.000 Then we have the infinite smelling of kids.

01:07:58.000 Clone brain.

01:08:01.000 What was that?

01:08:07.000 President of the United States.

01:08:13.000 You call your kids in from the other room because you want them to hear what the president of the United States has to say.

01:08:22.000 Ugh.

01:08:26.000 What if that isn't his wife?

01:08:29.000 I don't know what his wife looks like. 0.94

01:08:32.000 All right.

01:08:32.000 Let's end the show here.

01:08:35.000 Let's end the show with this annoying guy on the plane.

01:08:38.000 That was his wife, yeah. 0.98

01:08:39.000 Okay, good.

01:08:40.000 She's pretty hot for whatever, how old she is. 1.00

01:08:43.000 62?

01:08:44.000 You know who's really hot at 62?

01:08:45.000 Vanna White.

01:08:46.000 She's been hosting Wheel of Fortune now that Pat Saecek is recovering from surgery.

01:08:50.000 She looks fucking fantastic. 0.92

01:08:53.000 I know I'm the first person to ever say that.

01:08:56.000 Come on.

01:08:57.000 62?

01:08:58.000 Like, your grandma's 62.

01:08:59.000 You're Puerto Rican, so you're probably your great-grandma is 62.

01:09:03.000 94.

01:09:06.000 Uh, 94.

01:09:08.000 Uh, it's a fat.

01:09:09.000 It's a fat.

01:09:12.000 Whoa, what's that sexy pic?

01:09:13.000 Oh, it's probably Photoshop.

01:09:16.000 No, the one where she's wearing lingerie.

01:09:18.000 Lingerie.

01:09:19.000 It's up higher.

01:09:20.000 Okay.

01:09:21.000 Looking.

01:09:22.000 No, it's up lower.

01:09:23.000 It's down lower.

01:09:24.000 Oh.

01:09:26.000 Is that real?

01:09:29.000 It's a very long bum.

01:09:33.000 I'm a long bum hunter.

01:09:35.000 I'm the long bum hunter.

01:09:37.000 Alright, let's watch this douche on a plane and get out of here. 1.00

01:09:39.000 Douche on a plane.

01:09:42.000 Gotcha.

01:09:44.000 Get ready for douche. 1.00

01:09:46.000 You know what happened?

01:09:47.000 The Chinese guy on United Airlines?

01:09:50.000 You know what happened to him?

01:09:51.000 He's suing the United Airlines for $20 million.

01:09:55.000 So that's exactly what's going to happen to you.

01:09:57.000 And do not tell me what to do.

01:10:00.000 This is a free country.

01:10:01.000 So fuck off.

01:10:04.000 Fuck off.

01:10:06.000 I'm not moving anywhere.

01:10:08.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:10:14.000 He's got his hands in his pockets.

01:10:18.000 Me, myself, and only me.

01:10:20.000 Okay, well, how do you?

01:10:22.000 Three of us.

01:10:25.000 I'm a comedian.

01:10:28.000 So everything is gonna be on Facebook.

01:10:32.000 You, let me record you.

01:10:34.000 And I don't care what you say.

01:10:35.000 The guy is black.

01:10:36.000 I don't know.

01:10:37.000 The flight attendant.

01:10:38.000 And I overheard him later.

01:10:40.000 This goes on and on.

01:10:41.000 We won't watch the whole thing.

01:10:42.000 It's 11 minutes.

01:10:44.000 But he says, there must come times when you talk like that to someone, but you're out in the real world and not, you know, safe here in a plane.

01:10:52.000 Basically saying, I would love to see you out on the street, motherfucker.

01:10:56.000 I want to kill you so bad.

01:10:58.000 I don't care what you say.

01:11:00.000 It's my right to record you.

01:11:02.000 And there we go.

01:11:04.000 Show me your face.

01:11:06.000 This is the same with like talking shit to cops.

01:11:09.000 You know you're getting kicked off the plane.

01:11:12.000 The second you do anything.

01:11:13.000 When I'm on a plane, I'm like a beaten housewife.

01:11:16.000 Because I want to get, they're only supposed to give you a drink an hour.

01:11:20.000 So there's ways around that.

01:11:21.000 Like I'll get a Woodford Reserve and a beer.

01:11:23.000 And my wife will get the same.

01:11:25.000 And we'll both have doubles.

01:11:26.000 Now that's one, two, three, four, five, six in one order.

01:11:30.000 Because she's not going to drink it.

01:11:32.000 And they know you're cheating, but you got to be careful.

01:11:34.000 And by the way, guys, if you're traveling with dudes, especially with gays, slip the flight attendant 20 bucks. 0.91

01:11:41.000 Believe me, it comes back tenfold in tip, I mean in free drinks and great service and the plane becomes a flying bar if you give your flight attendant 20 bucks.

01:11:55.000 That's it.

01:11:57.000 I know the law.

01:12:01.000 I study law.

01:12:03.000 Maybe we'll bump into somebody someday outside of all this.

01:12:06.000 Here, he just said it.

01:12:10.000 I'm in court every day.

01:12:13.000 What accent is that?

01:12:14.000 I'm in court every day.

01:12:16.000 He sounds like God.

01:12:17.000 Yeah.

01:12:18.000 This is how God talks.

01:12:19.000 I think he's Italian.

01:12:19.000 And he looks like Marco Sflaghi, a guitarist from Italy.

01:12:23.000 So I think he's Italian.

01:12:25.000 Is he drunk?

01:12:26.000 Because he's not slurring.

01:12:28.000 You're making everybody else's life miserable right now by delaying the plane.

01:12:36.000 And everybody else got the right to be angry at you.

01:12:43.000 Hey, Facebook.

01:12:46.000 Listen, boomer.

01:12:47.000 Not everything's Facebook.

01:12:48.000 Hey, Facebook.

01:12:50.000 My real name is Marius Buron.

01:12:54.000 And check my Facebook site.

01:12:57.000 I make covers.

01:12:59.000 Lately, I made Metallica cover.

01:13:02.000 That's awesome.

01:13:02.000 Pearl Gem.

01:13:04.000 That's fine.

01:13:05.000 Just Marius Bamon.

01:13:10.000 And check my Facebook site.

01:13:15.000 Lately, I made Metallica cover.

01:13:19.000 I'm looking in the comments to see.

01:13:21.000 Hi, my name is...

01:13:27.000 Mario Sperone.

01:13:30.000 That's what I hear.

01:13:33.000 Mario Sperone?

01:13:34.000 Metallica?

01:13:35.000 It's funny you say he looks like an Italian musician and then he is.

01:13:39.000 Yeah, he looks like Marco Swoggy.

01:13:42.000 Svogly. 0.90

01:13:43.000 Mario Sperone.

01:13:46.000 Airplane video.

01:13:51.000 Yeah.

01:13:53.000 Yeah.

01:13:55.000 Oh, here he is.

01:13:57.000 Oh, you got him.

01:13:58.000 Nice.

01:13:59.000 That is Marco Swoggy.

01:14:01.000 Oh, it is.

01:14:03.000 I was about to say, you finally did something right.

01:14:06.000 Nope.

01:14:07.000 False alarm.

01:14:07.000 He looks exactly like him.

01:14:11.000 If you hear an interview to interview.

01:14:13.000 No, no, just show.

01:14:14.000 Let's finish up with this guy.

01:14:15.000 We gotta go.

01:14:16.000 Okay.

01:14:16.000 My Facebook site, I make covers.

01:14:25.000 We're only 250 in.

01:14:28.000 Pearl Gem.

01:14:29.000 Jump ahead.

01:14:30.000 This girl.

01:14:32.000 Run away.

01:14:37.000 And nothing else matters.

01:14:43.000 So he's gonna listen to Metallic.

01:14:47.000 He's been having trouble with these headphones the entire time.

01:14:50.000 So what they've done, what they do when anyone is remotely cantankerous is they get the cops and they come down.

01:14:57.000 But sometimes the cops are coming from a completely different gate.

01:15:02.000 So it could be 20 minutes.

01:15:04.000 That's why it's not actually taking that long.

01:15:06.000 They probably made the decision one minute in and it's going to take 10 minutes.

01:15:11.000 And he's clearly drunk.

01:15:12.000 That's why he's having so much trouble with the headphones.

01:15:15.000 What's he doing now?

01:15:19.000 Okay, keep going because eventually the cops show up.

01:15:21.000 Just scroll till you see a cop.

01:15:24.000 Please, go report and we will advise you to when the reporting will begin.

01:15:30.000 Okay, go back, go back a little bit.

01:15:32.000 Ooh, nice buns.

01:15:38.000 Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment, unfortunately, we're going to need all passengers to declaim this aircraft, take all combined cells with you, and then we can at a later time.

01:15:52.000 We will keep you advised once we're in the terminal.

01:15:54.000 No, no, no, get him off.

01:15:58.000 Get him off. 0.98

01:16:00.000 Get people!

01:16:02.000 Wait in the terminal area, and we will advise you when the reboarding will begin.

01:16:08.000 We apologize.

01:16:10.000 You know, phones are like teddy bears now.

01:16:13.000 And when a little boy is in trouble, he looks at his teddy and holds his teddy.

01:16:18.000 It's our security blanket.

01:16:20.000 Thank you.

01:16:21.000 You can stay soon.

01:16:22.000 Thank you.

01:16:23.000 You guys wanna get up or you wanna stay up?

01:16:25.000 Wanna take off our seats.

01:16:26.000 Everybody, jump you the whole thing.

01:16:29.000 This is why I've traveled so much.

01:16:34.000 And you are low obliged.

01:16:36.000 And you are low obliged.

01:16:37.000 And you are being recorded.

01:16:39.000 Sorry, guys.

01:16:40.000 Sorry, guys.

01:16:42.000 Sorry, everybody.

01:16:43.000 That's not me.

01:16:44.000 Those are those fucking assholes.

01:16:46.000 Just get off the side of it.

01:16:50.000 You know what?

01:16:51.000 Suck my dick. 1.00

01:16:54.000 If you don't like my shit, suck my fucking dick. 1.00

01:16:59.000 Suck my dick. 1.00

01:17:00.000 You wanna suck my dick? 1.00

01:17:01.000 Come over here.

01:17:03.000 If you have the courage, suck my fucking dick, you fucking gay. 1.00

01:17:07.000 Is it courageous?

01:17:08.000 Oh my god, I love you.

01:17:11.000 I love you.

01:17:12.000 I'm gonna beat you ass, motherfucker. 1.00

01:17:18.000 What are you looking at on your phone?

01:17:20.000 You checking your email?

01:17:22.000 I'm telling you, this is epic.

01:17:25.000 That guy just whispered, shithead.

01:17:27.000 Just tell him he's a shithead.

01:17:29.000 What's he gonna do?

01:17:30.000 beat you up?

01:17:30.000 They're gonna make me late for my connection flights, motherfuckers.

01:17:33.000 They're gonna make me late What were you saying?

01:17:38.000 That woman said. 1.00

01:17:39.000 I can't believe I let that bitch make me spit on her. 1.00

01:17:44.000 Is there any better way to dismiss yourself from responsibility?

01:17:48.000 I can't believe I let that bitch make me spit on her. 1.00

01:17:51.000 I let that bitch make me spit on her. 1.00

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 12, 2019

S02E98 - PLAYING GOD

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript