Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E15 - BABY MONSTERS

00:00:09.000 I came to church to praise all love.

00:00:13.000 Oh, live from New York.

00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGinnis.

00:00:20.000 I said it was a lover's team.

00:00:23.000 Didn't trust my own feels.

00:00:27.000 Let someone else behind my wheel.

00:00:30.000 Said it was love driving me.

00:00:33.000 But the only one who should seriously meet it.

00:00:42.000 They see me in a red dress, popping on the deathbed.

00:00:50.000 What are you doing here?

00:00:53.000 They see me in a red dress, popping on the deathbed.

00:00:58.000 See me in a red dress.

00:01:01.000 She sings like a man doing a woman's voice. 0.97

00:01:04.000 Hello, I'm a lady.

00:01:05.000 I'm wearing a red dress.

00:01:08.000 But yeah, that sounds like a rip-off.

00:01:09.000 Sucking on a tailpipe, sitting on a headlight.

00:01:14.000 That chorus sounds like a popular country song.

00:01:17.000 Yeah.

00:01:17.000 You think it's Taylor Swift?

00:01:18.000 I think it's Taylor Swift red.

00:01:22.000 Wait, she has a song called Red?

00:01:23.000 Yeah.

00:01:24.000 Oh, wow.

00:01:25.000 Yeah, Red Dress, Red. 0.98

00:01:27.000 Loving you was hella, watching you was tailpipe.

00:01:31.000 Talking on a headlight, fucking on a headlight.

00:01:37.000 Alright, not this part.

00:01:54.000 Here we go.

00:01:58.000 No, that's not it.

00:02:00.000 That's impressive that she can play guitar and sing at the same time. 1.00

00:02:03.000 She's a great songwriter.

00:02:04.000 Very talented young lady.

00:02:06.000 Remember, we were all supposed to feel sorry for her because she sold her publishing?

00:02:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:02:10.000 Sorry?

00:02:11.000 I was young.

00:02:12.000 Yeah, but your dad wasn't.

00:02:14.000 And you got a shit ton of money.

00:02:16.000 I know, but now I want it back.

00:02:18.000 Yeah, I'm sorry.

00:02:20.000 Look at all my student debt I signed up for.

00:02:23.000 I owe a quarter of a million.

00:02:25.000 Yeah, that was dumb.

00:02:25.000 You shouldn't have bought a Ferrari, Ninkum Poop.

00:02:29.000 Sucking on your tailpipes.

00:02:30.000 Sucking on a tailpipe.

00:02:32.000 Hanging with my hot wife.

00:02:36.000 So I'm watching that video, and I don't know much about music.

00:02:39.000 You look at my, you can see my taste on this show is terrible.

00:02:42.000 I like punk.

00:02:44.000 But why is that song so bad?

00:02:48.000 There's mathematical reasons why.

00:02:52.000 She's off key.

00:03:04.000 So the actual structure of the song is fine.

00:03:09.000 There's some guy out there who made this whole video happen just to fuck that chick. 1.00

00:03:14.000 And a producer who got a beach for the production.

00:03:18.000 But didn't one person go, uh, Sandy, this sounds really, really bad?

00:03:24.000 Well, that's true.

00:03:26.000 Does Dharman produce music videos now, too?

00:03:29.000 Oh, they did a highs and lows kind of thing right there.

00:03:31.000 But there's two of her. 0.99

00:03:34.000 And he's like, nah.

00:03:36.000 I know that's me, but nah.

00:03:37.000 So that's a little joke they throw at the end there so she can say she was just kidding the whole time?

00:03:41.000 Click on her other. 0.97

00:03:42.000 Does she have other songs that are just as bad?

00:03:47.000 Fantasy.

00:03:48.000 Official music.

00:03:49.000 She's brand new.

00:03:50.000 So she's the new Fridays girl.

00:03:55.000 I had a fantasy about you and me being in love.

00:04:01.000 After the midnight up, feeling everything to the moon and you suck. 0.87

00:04:11.000 Thinking of you.

00:04:16.000 Holy shit.

00:04:25.000 So why?

00:04:26.000 See, this is where I get confused.

00:04:27.000 I know that sounds terrible.

00:04:28.000 I have earholes.

00:04:29.000 But why?

00:04:30.000 What's mathematically is wrong with it?

00:04:32.000 Is that off-key too?

00:04:33.000 She's off-key.

00:04:34.000 So what does off-key even mean?

00:04:36.000 Like, okay, let's see.

00:04:37.000 If we get an instrumental of a song.

00:04:41.000 Here, you sing it in key.

00:04:44.000 I am a guy and I'm loving you.

00:04:47.000 Right.

00:04:48.000 Now if we do a song that sounds like the song you made up this morning, One Headlight.

00:04:56.000 This is the karaoke version.

00:04:58.000 I'm going to sing on key for one bar and then I'll sing off key.

00:05:05.000 So long ago I don't remember when.

00:05:09.000 It's when they say I lost my only off-key now.

00:05:13.000 Well they could have died easy of a broken heart disease as it listens to the cemetery tree.

00:05:21.000 I can't sing off.

00:05:22.000 Now I'm just hitting different notes.

00:05:24.000 You're so good.

00:05:25.000 I'm so good.

00:05:25.000 I wrote a song this morning in Ryan's car and it's really good.

00:05:28.000 You want to hear it?

00:05:29.000 Oh, I can't wait.

00:05:39.000 Oh, man.

00:05:40.000 That's good.

00:05:40.000 When I call at you, when I don't at you, when I don't ban a thinking that I miss you.

00:05:48.000 Yeah.

00:05:48.000 Pretty good.

00:05:49.000 See, they didn't do the miss you part, but I mean.

00:05:54.000 Yes.

00:05:55.000 Unfortunately, I had heard that song earlier in the day.

00:05:58.000 What is the song?

00:05:59.000 One Headlight by the Wallflowers.

00:06:01.000 It was playing like as you were recording.

00:06:03.000 No, I was listening to it.

00:06:04.000 Then I went into the mechanics.

00:06:06.000 And then I had a song in my head the entire time I was putting down the deposit and talking about the wheels.

00:06:11.000 And then I was shocked that I came up with such a great chorus and forgot that I just had a song in my head from your car.

00:06:17.000 It was playing very low, but here's the part.

00:06:30.000 they didn't do the I miss you part.

00:06:31.000 And think about that's probably stolen from somewhere else.

00:06:34.000 Just like my fucking, can you imagine if the races were reversed?

00:06:38.000 The only good thing I've ever come up with, and then we find out it's hockey night in Canada.

00:06:42.000 Fuck.

00:06:42.000 Well, don't forget about the You Can't Mess Around with That Petty Bone.

00:06:48.000 You can't start a fight with the Pettybone.

00:06:50.000 You can't start a fight.

00:06:52.000 Hey, hey, hey, hey.

00:06:54.000 Yeah, that's a good song.

00:06:55.000 Yeah, that is a good one.

00:06:56.000 You're right.

00:06:56.000 Thank you, Ryan.

00:06:57.000 That feels really good.

00:06:58.000 And then there was, of course, Did You Get Shot When Your Hot Got Caught in the Dog?

00:07:04.000 You don't even have a stop.

00:07:06.000 That's awesome.

00:07:07.000 And you.

00:07:09.000 One time, Saroosh Alvie, who co-founded Vice, was sitting at his computer and he's like, Did you get caught when you hot got caught in the dog?

00:07:15.000 He goes, What is that song again?

00:07:17.000 And I'm like, That's my hit.

00:07:19.000 Yeah.

00:07:20.000 You're singing one of my top hits.

00:07:22.000 Just like you be singing highs and lows sometimes.

00:07:24.000 Oh, I sing highs and lows all the time.

00:07:27.000 You don't know the words.

00:07:27.000 You call it ups and downs.

00:07:29.000 How can I give you my heart if I can't take your word?

00:07:32.000 Dooba-da-da-da, the dooba-dad-dird. 0.99

00:07:34.000 Yeah.

00:07:36.000 The song is a fucking dird.

00:07:38.000 Speaking of unbelievably bad music, some, we got to come up with a name for our guys.

00:07:43.000 Like, Lady Gaga has little monsters, right?

00:07:46.000 Well, we have a little monster on the show every Thursday.

00:07:48.000 Bait, we have a baby monster. 1.00

00:07:50.000 Maybe we should just call him our guys baby monsters.

00:07:53.000 That's cool.

00:07:54.000 Okay, that's so.

00:07:56.000 A baby monster.

00:07:57.000 I wonder if he'll be mad about that.

00:07:59.000 I'm the baby monster.

00:08:01.000 What the fuck are you calling other people baby monster?

00:08:03.000 No, when he's mad, he says, my man.

00:08:06.000 My man.

00:08:07.000 Why are you calling other people baby monster?

00:08:10.000 What the fuck's going on there?

00:08:12.000 He lost 360 bucks the other day, and he lost his shit along with the money, comes into the bar, locks the door.

00:08:20.000 Whoa.

00:08:21.000 And yells to the bar, no one is fucking leaving this place until I get my fucking money. 0.72

00:08:25.000 I'm running everyone's pockets.

00:08:27.000 Damn.

00:08:28.000 And then he went through everyone's pocket in the bar.

00:08:32.000 And I think what happened was he doesn't keep his wallet in his pants because it's bad for his back.

00:08:37.000 What the fuck?

00:08:38.000 Yeah, when you sit on it, it hurts your back.

00:08:41.000 I took my wallet out too.

00:08:42.000 You take your wallet out every time you sit down?

00:08:44.000 What planet are we on?

00:08:47.000 So your wallet's outside of your pants right now?

00:08:49.000 Planet Big Wallet.

00:08:50.000 Yeah, it's right here.

00:08:52.000 But it's a big boy, so.

00:08:54.000 I thought you had one of those stupid, like, Instagram ad wallets that you can take keys and credit cards and it's razor-thin?

00:09:00.000 No, no.

00:09:01.000 I have a card holder for when I wear a suit.

00:09:05.000 That's it.

00:09:05.000 What?

00:09:07.000 What kind of cards?

00:09:08.000 It has your identification, your credit card, and then a money clip.

00:09:12.000 And then that's it.

00:09:13.000 And then it's just a little certificate.

00:09:14.000 So why don't you use that?

00:09:16.000 Because I have so many documents.

00:09:18.000 Documents?

00:09:19.000 You carry documents in your wallet?

00:09:20.000 Yeah.

00:09:21.000 What is your birth certificate?

00:09:22.000 My receipt for the Nintendo Switch comes with a $5 gift certificate.

00:09:25.000 So there's that.

00:09:26.000 So when I buy another game, I could go there.

00:09:28.000 Then I got a lot of cash.

00:09:29.000 I have Jamaican cash, Haitian cash, and Israeli cash.

00:09:35.000 That would come in handy.

00:09:36.000 Yeah.

00:09:37.000 Do you even have a valid passport, Mr. World Traveler?

00:09:40.000 I do.

00:09:40.000 But I've never left the country still, the continental yet.

00:09:43.000 And then I have an Epstein Didn't Kill Himself pen inside here.

00:09:46.000 A pen.

00:09:47.000 By PokePens.

00:09:48.000 No one cares a pen in their wallet, my friend.

00:09:50.000 Nobody.

00:09:51.000 It goes right in the spine.

00:09:54.000 And then I have a wall.

00:09:54.000 Yeah, and it's so small and so comfortable that all I have to do is take out my wallet every time I sit down.

00:09:59.000 Yeah.

00:10:01.000 Brilliant.

00:10:02.000 Speaking of...

00:10:03.000 So wait, he comes in the thing, he checks everybody's wallet.

00:10:05.000 That's it?

00:10:05.000 Oh, wait, sorry.

00:10:06.000 So he keeps his money in his front pocket.

00:10:09.000 And he was getting out his keys to give someone something, and I think it fell out then.

00:10:14.000 And then an African-American gentleman was sitting there, and I believe he stole it. 1.00

00:10:19.000 Was he there for the pants checking?

00:10:21.000 No, he was outside.

00:10:24.000 Everyone ran their pockets.

00:10:26.000 We all know him.

00:10:27.000 Right.

00:10:29.000 And there was no money there, obviously.

00:10:33.000 And then he gave up on that.

00:10:36.000 Never apologized.

00:10:37.000 He likes to make us like put the spotlight on himself when he's confronting everybody.

00:10:41.000 Like that's this, that's a similar part.

00:10:43.000 That's a part two of the shutting off the TVs when his porn magazine fits.

00:10:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:48.000 It's the exact same thing.

00:10:49.000 Everybody.

00:10:49.000 Well, it's an announcement.

00:10:50.000 You're all in trouble until I figure out who's in trouble.

00:10:52.000 Yeah.

00:10:53.000 Well, it's an easy way to get to the bad guy, right?

00:10:55.000 You just tell the crowd they're going to get stabbed.

00:10:57.000 Right.

00:10:57.000 Yeah, that's what drill sergeants do.

00:10:59.000 They're like, we're all going to run a mile if whoever didn't fuck up comes forward.

00:11:03.000 So we had another baby monster send us this guy, and he said, my buddy's in his 20s, and he's still making music.

00:11:10.000 I keep telling him to get a trade.

00:11:12.000 What do you think?

00:11:12.000 Does he have the sprinkles?

00:11:14.000 And spoiler alert, no.

00:11:18.000 This has potential, kind of weird music, and the quality of the video is really good.

00:11:23.000 So if he's not a good artist, he definitely knows some.

00:11:26.000 That's interesting.

00:11:29.000 Johnny Gordon.

00:11:30.000 Okay, he looks kind of weird.

00:11:32.000 A lot of potential here.

00:11:34.000 Like, the lighting is cool.

00:11:44.000 Only 90% sure this is not a joke.

00:11:58.000 Is this like zombies making music?

00:12:00.000 This is after the apocalypse.

00:12:02.000 We train zombies to stop eating brains and they start having rights.

00:12:06.000 Yeah, this does seem like a thing in a zombie movie where zombies have rights.

00:12:11.000 Like, there's a cutaway.

00:12:13.000 His name is Zombie Kodak.

00:12:17.000 This is your target.

00:12:19.000 The last zombie movie I saw, the one with Tignataro saying, holy fucking shit.

00:12:24.000 They were breeding.

00:12:25.000 There was a baby.

00:12:27.000 So maybe they'd eventually make videos.

00:12:30.000 Maybe this is the baby all grown up.

00:12:32.000 Is it possible that this is what exactly they're going for?

00:12:36.000 Like the sort of...

00:12:47.000 My brain is pretty big and my imagination is pretty expansive.

00:12:53.000 I just cannot imagine anyone not thinking this is garbage.

00:12:58.000 Even in the background.

00:13:00.000 Like, remember there was that rapper?

00:13:02.000 I think he was from New Zealand.

00:13:03.000 And he was like, Zoo, Betty, we gotta get home.

00:13:06.000 We're gonna get over this.

00:13:08.000 And he was so bad that it was kind of a cool type of music.

00:13:12.000 And I could see it being played in a club and people not even noticing that what they're listening to is terrible because it had something to it.

00:13:20.000 I know what you're talking about.

00:13:21.000 Yeah, babe, you're going to get with me.

00:13:22.000 We're going to be together.

00:13:24.000 Yeah, we're going to have fun.

00:13:25.000 It's just a ramble.

00:13:26.000 He rambles.

00:13:26.000 Yeah, just rambling, mumbling.

00:13:28.000 How do we find that?

00:13:32.000 Because you're going to get into mumble rap if you say.

00:13:34.000 But before we get into that guy, do one more that he has.

00:13:38.000 Because I just went, oh, it's like comedy music, which I don't like.

00:13:41.000 Like ween, I hate ween.

00:13:43.000 I hate joke music.

00:13:44.000 It's like joking during sex.

00:13:47.000 Like, if you're having sex with a girl and there's a giant queef, you know what you do? 1.00

00:13:53.000 This.

00:13:56.000 It's not comedy time.

00:13:57.000 I don't break for queefs. 1.00

00:13:59.000 That's a t-shirt.

00:14:04.000 This one's called Vampire Killer.

00:14:08.000 You told this guy to get a trade.

00:14:09.000 I don't think he's smart enough.

00:14:11.000 I don't think I want him wiring my home.

00:14:15.000 Don't let this guy run electricity.

00:14:17.000 He's going to get zapped.

00:14:19.000 I mean, if he's making the music video, then yeah, kip it. 0.92

00:14:21.000 If this guy helped plumb your building, you're all dead.

00:14:26.000 It's going to start rotting from the inside out.

00:14:28.000 The walls are going to smell like sewage.

00:14:30.000 What trade could he do?

00:14:48.000 Does he think this sounds good?

00:14:55.000 You know what I'm sensing?

00:14:56.000 Mickey Avalon.

00:14:58.000 So Mickey Avalon's serious about what he does, but it happens to not hit the...

00:15:03.000 This is good mark.

00:15:12.000 I mean, I don't want to be too honest about this because I'm scared the guy's going to kill himself.

00:15:16.000 This is a little cruel, yes.

00:15:19.000 This is mean to him.

00:15:21.000 This is so bad that it's cruel of him to himself.

00:15:27.000 Like, this is bullying.

00:15:29.000 He's bullying himself by putting this out.

00:15:32.000 Poor kid, leave you alone.

00:15:37.000 You bully.

00:15:39.000 Stop ridiculing this poor guy.

00:15:46.000 Did he say I'm a patriot in Hollywood?

00:15:51.000 I'm a patriot in Hollywood.

00:15:52.000 Okay.

00:15:54.000 Well, now we take it back.

00:15:55.000 Now it's good.

00:15:56.000 Now that we know your MAGA, all your music's suddenly good.

00:16:00.000 Who's that?

00:16:01.000 So who's Mickey Avalon?

00:16:03.000 He's the guy who did the My Dick song.

00:16:05.000 My Dick.

00:16:06.000 Oh, yeah.

00:16:07.000 No, but that's joke music.

00:16:08.000 That's Ween.

00:16:09.000 Yeah, but he has other songs that are like serious, but it still sucks.

00:16:12.000 Same with Ween.

00:16:13.000 They have a whole country album that's serious.

00:16:15.000 Oh, I see.

00:16:15.000 But it doesn't suck.

00:16:17.000 It's good joke music that I hate.

00:16:19.000 Now I got to find that guy, though.

00:16:21.000 I know, I'm looking for him.

00:16:22.000 New Zealand rapper, Cringe.

00:16:25.000 Cringe rapper, maybe?

00:16:27.000 Cringe rapper, mumble.

00:16:29.000 Pretty sure he's from Australia or New Zealand.

00:16:33.000 Or maybe he's Armenian and American.

00:16:35.000 I remember what he looks like, so I'm on the lookout.

00:16:38.000 Vampire Killer.

00:16:41.000 When we were kids, we were in bands and we knew we sucked.

00:16:45.000 How come the kids today don't know when they suck? 0.94

00:16:48.000 You suck.

00:16:49.000 Red dress?

00:16:50.000 You suck.

00:16:51.000 Fridays?

00:16:52.000 You suck.

00:16:52.000 Vampire Killer.

00:16:54.000 You suck a vampire killer. 1.00

00:16:58.000 Okay, I want to move on, but I'm scared to change the subject.

00:17:02.000 I'm on the lookout, but...

00:17:06.000 I don't know.

00:17:07.000 To which your veil.

00:17:08.000 To which your veil? 0.67

00:17:10.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:17:11.000 What is this?

00:17:14.000 What are you talking about?

00:17:17.000 Oh! 0.60

00:17:18.000 That looks like him.

00:17:19.000 I think you got it.

00:17:21.000 I'm so happy.

00:17:22.000 Yep.

00:17:23.000 Getting on this shit for you.

00:17:24.000 2010, baby.

00:17:26.000 It's coming straight through you.

00:17:27.000 You feel this, baby?

00:17:29.000 Coming straight through you.

00:17:46.000 See, now, if you're at a club, a very hip, cool club, cutting-edge stuff, and among all the really cool songs this came on, no one would bat an eye.

00:17:57.000 They'd just be like, oh, I haven't heard of this kind of music.

00:17:59.000 It's probably from France.

00:18:01.000 Turn it up.

00:18:12.000 And I don't know what it is right now.

00:18:14.000 But I know she wants me back.

00:18:17.000 I know she wants me back.

00:18:18.000 Why is she not?

00:18:22.000 Why are you in a hole, dude?

00:18:23.000 And I don't know what it is right now, but I know she wants me back.

00:18:28.000 I know she wants me back.

00:18:30.000 And every time I try to move on, too, I keep on stumbling back on.

00:18:34.000 Now, maybe people would start going, what the fuck is this?

00:18:37.000 What the?

00:18:39.000 What is that?

00:18:40.000 Somebody's little cousin paid the DJ 20 bucks to play their hit.

00:18:46.000 He has another one too, but the weird thing is, is he remembers all these lyrics.

00:18:49.000 This is not just spit out the top of the head because he doubles it up.

00:18:52.000 So that means he has to remember.

00:18:58.000 So there must have been a moment where he, because this went viral.

00:19:02.000 So he got recognized and he's like, yo, what's up?

00:19:04.000 And they go, holy shit, you're that hilarious, shitty guy that everyone was laughing at.

00:19:09.000 He's like, yeah.

00:19:10.000 It's a joke.

00:19:13.000 Or maybe he fought like the first two guys and then they kept coming and coming and coming.

00:19:17.000 And he had to go like, yeah, I know.

00:19:20.000 I'm really funny.

00:19:21.000 Oh, do some more jokes, funny guy.

00:19:23.000 Oh, I'm pretty tired.

00:19:25.000 I did a lot of jokes yesterday.

00:19:27.000 I'm kind of joke hungover.

00:19:29.000 Oh, that was a joke.

00:19:47.000 Can someone else carry your backpack while you're making your video, please?

00:19:51.000 All right, that's good.

00:19:53.000 Thanks to the baby monster who sent that in.

00:19:56.000 I'm not sure this baby monster thing is going to take.

00:19:59.000 This movie looks cool.

00:20:01.000 By the way, yesterday, we got a letter from a baby monster who wanted us to watch The Siege of Jardotville.

00:20:08.000 And we watched it here in the studio after the show.

00:20:11.000 And it's fucking good.

00:20:13.000 But we'll get to that another time.

00:20:15.000 This movie is a true story about some guy who was a dirtbag criminal and a great dad.

00:20:22.000 But after he got caught, he had to disappear.

00:20:26.000 Which means you're not a good dad.

00:20:27.000 Whoa, what happened to the lighting there?

00:20:29.000 Oh, that was a...

00:20:30.000 I did a fade.

00:20:34.000 Oh, thank God we know that it's MGM.

00:20:38.000 Why do they do that?

00:20:39.000 My father lusted after freedom.

00:20:44.000 The kind of freedom most free people never experience.

00:20:50.000 The suspect has been identified as John Vogul, the second largest counterfeiter in U.S. history.

00:20:56.000 Vogul printed over $22 million.

00:20:59.000 But he only spent $50,000.

00:21:01.000 They caught him before he could unleash them.

00:21:02.000 He came and went from our lives.

00:21:05.000 He always made me feel like part of a bigger world.

00:21:08.000 I'll be on the riches.

00:21:12.000 When I watched his trailer, all I could think was just, I'm a shitty dad.

00:21:16.000 I love you, baby.

00:21:17.000 You're leading me on the same heart, Dad.

00:21:19.000 You're a piece of a pot.

00:21:21.000 And through the thing.

00:21:22.000 I don't say shit like that to my daughter.

00:21:23.000 I suck.

00:21:25.000 I gotta pick her up more and swirl, spin her around. 1.00

00:21:27.000 Yeah, what are the good dad things that he does?

00:21:30.000 Like, picking them up and stuff.

00:21:32.000 Dancing with them and stuff.

00:21:33.000 Saying things that.

00:21:34.000 Having a cigarette.

00:21:35.000 Yeah.

00:21:36.000 Having a cigarette, missing a tooth.

00:21:38.000 Talking to Josh Brolin.

00:21:40.000 No, that's just something great dads do.

00:21:42.000 They have a cigarette in their mouth and a beer and like, get over here.

00:21:44.000 Yeah.

00:21:45.000 You couldn't catch this if your life depended on it.

00:21:48.000 You just start smoking cigarettes and you're like, Kevin, what are you doing?

00:21:51.000 You're like, I'm trying to be a good dad.

00:21:52.000 I'm being a good 70s dad.

00:21:57.000 Kid, you don't ever let anyone tell you what you can and can't do.

00:22:02.000 You can do anything you want.

00:22:04.000 Anything.

00:22:05.000 You see that?

00:22:07.000 That was good.

00:22:08.000 That's the sky.

00:22:10.000 There's your limit.

00:22:12.000 It's up there.

00:22:13.000 And it goes on forever.

00:22:17.000 Homeboy's getting that like, edit.

00:22:19.000 Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do.

00:22:20.000 I'm trying to be such a good dad that I get laid.

00:22:25.000 Well, that's just your fangirls on the sidelines.

00:22:26.000 You're like, I'm not trying to get laid, but thanks.

00:22:28.000 And that makes you a good dad.

00:22:29.000 Fucking tons of chicks. 1.00

00:22:31.000 No.

00:22:31.000 I want to be such a good dad that I get groupies.

00:22:34.000 They're lusting for you, but you're not.

00:22:35.000 Listen to that concept.

00:22:36.000 A guy who wants to be such a good dad that he gets tons of pussy. 1.00

00:22:39.000 Oh, no, that's just a single dad.

00:22:41.000 Yeah, okay.

00:22:41.000 Sorry.

00:22:42.000 I want to be such a good husband that I get tons of pussy from chicks. 1.00

00:22:45.000 Yeah.

00:22:45.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:22:46.000 All right.

00:22:46.000 Sorry.

00:22:49.000 I am my father's daughter.

00:22:53.000 Come here.

00:22:58.000 The singer.

00:23:01.000 Oh, this is a good part.

00:23:05.000 I'm an entrepreneur.

00:23:07.000 Share things about your father that you don't know.

00:23:12.000 He's good at playing fuck-ups.

00:23:14.000 Just tell me the truth.

00:23:16.000 You're gonna get it when you walk a mile in my shoes.

00:23:19.000 I'm guilty for proven innocence.

00:23:26.000 Through the years, long and wearing, with you, my dreams, I will be sharing.

00:23:33.000 In whatever you choose to endeavor, I will support you forever and ever.

00:23:39.000 It's weird.

00:23:40.000 Okay, that's enough.

00:23:41.000 So that's his real daughter.

00:23:42.000 Yeah.

00:23:43.000 Oh, cool.

00:23:43.000 When I saw that trailer, I cried.

00:23:46.000 And now I'm looking at it going, this is gay. 1.00

00:23:47.000 Why am I showing this on the show?

00:23:49.000 What a waste of fucking time.

00:23:51.000 I think you're a fag in the mornings when you're hungover. 1.00

00:23:54.000 So sometimes I'll be doing my research in that state.

00:23:57.000 And then I'm like, here's a movie, guys.

00:23:59.000 It's beautiful and you're going to cry.

00:24:01.000 And it's about a dad who loves his kids and just can't be there for them as much as he wants to, like all of us.

00:24:08.000 And then, you know, sober after lunch and a beer, I'm like, what the fuck kind of faggot shit is this? 1.00

00:24:15.000 I'm bullying myself too.

00:24:17.000 I'm just like Johnny.

00:24:20.000 By the way, so that's his daughter in it.

00:24:23.000 I guess it's a coincidence that his daughter happened to be the perfect part.

00:24:27.000 But this is amid some controversy where Ben Stiller, son of Jerry Stiller, one of the most successful comedic actors of all time, said, you know, there isn't really nepotism in Hollywood.

00:24:41.000 It's basically just meritocracy.

00:24:43.000 If you're good, you make money.

00:24:46.000 And he was, of course, instantly lambasted because everyone in Hollywood is there because of nepotism.

00:24:54.000 There's some stragglers who blew their way in, but for the other 99%, including Ben Stiller himself, it's all nepotism.

00:25:04.000 Daily Mail had a whole list of them, like Gwyneth Palcho's daughter and fucking Diana Ross' daughter and fucking Angelina Jolie is John Voigt's daughter, Jennifer Anniston.

00:25:19.000 Show Friends was based on a soap opera.

00:25:22.000 And her dad was in the soap opera for like 50 years.

00:25:27.000 He grew old in front of a bunch of housewives' faces.

00:25:30.000 What a moron.

00:25:33.000 Again, we're not really mad at you for cheating.

00:25:37.000 Just don't gloat.

00:25:40.000 Like that pedophile photographer.

00:25:43.000 Okay, we are mad at him, by the way, for being a fucking pedophile.

00:25:48.000 But the fact that he's so smug after.

00:25:51.000 Just go disappear.

00:25:52.000 And Ben Stiller, you got your job from your daddy.

00:25:54.000 Fine, fine, whatever.

00:25:55.000 Now go hide.

00:25:56.000 Don't go bragging about how no one ever helped you And you made it here on your own.

00:26:01.000 That's fucking horseshit.

00:26:06.000 In other news, let's do some LGBT.

00:26:10.000 Let's do the intro and then the cool background.

00:26:13.000 Did that guy send us his new background yet?

00:26:16.000 The new racism one we got.

00:26:19.000 So that one's physics.

00:26:21.000 Actually, wait, that happens in the future.

00:26:23.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:25.000 That doesn't matter.

00:26:27.000 Why are you lying?

00:26:29.000 I felt ugly.

00:26:29.000 I felt gay.

00:26:30.000 And then we fell in love.

00:26:32.000 And then they eat them pooping.

00:26:33.000 And we have a very good relationship.

00:26:36.000 I don't like the fucking.

00:26:37.000 You don't want to see the closed-up picture of my haters.

00:26:39.000 You hate gay. 1.00

00:26:41.000 You ugly.

00:26:42.000 Homophobe alert.

00:26:44.000 Amazing.

00:26:46.000 Good stuff.

00:26:50.000 One thing all of, like, there's gays that we grew up with, like YMCA Village People, Rob Halford, Queen, Freddie Mercury. 0.99

00:26:57.000 Those were just people who happened to like dicks.

00:27:00.000 And we didn't hear much about it.

00:27:02.000 In fact, a lot of us never even registered.

00:27:05.000 Liberace would be on talk shows, and they'd ask him if he has a special girl in his life.

00:27:11.000 So these new gays, I don't think are gay.

00:27:14.000 I think it's people that are boring.

00:27:16.000 Like Elliot Page is a lesbian who toured the world via my old company, Vice, doing the show Gay Caitian.

00:27:25.000 And she, that's some currency, especially in other countries. 0.97

00:27:30.000 You say you're gay in Mexico, a Maricón. 1.00

00:27:32.000 You say you're gay in the Middle East, you're fucking dead.

00:27:35.000 It's a capital offense, the Caribbean. 1.00

00:27:37.000 So she was like, yeah, I'm fucking living life on the edge.

00:27:40.000 And then Juicy Smoulay comes out and she starts crying on Colbert about hate crimes and how hard it is to be gay.

00:27:48.000 But then she looks around and she goes, everyone's fucking gay. 0.99

00:27:50.000 It's boring to be gay. 1.00

00:27:52.000 So now she goes into like, I'm a dude, cuts her tits off trying to keep her currency. 1.00

00:27:57.000 Similarly, you have all these straight white middle class people who hate themselves because school tells them they suck constantly.

00:28:03.000 This is still pretty distracting.

00:28:05.000 And they go, I want to be interesting.

00:28:10.000 I wish I was a race.

00:28:12.000 And that's why we have our ADT guy wishing that he was more than just 4% Native American.

00:28:18.000 And so they go, I'm multifaceted.

00:28:22.000 Oh my God.

00:28:23.000 I'm not even a woman.

00:28:24.000 They started with I'm a woman.

00:28:26.000 And now they're like, I'm all these different creatures.

00:28:29.000 And then this guy, he vacillates from male to female during the day.

00:28:34.000 And he explains, a lot of people are going to be cynical about how fast he changes, but he explains why here.

00:28:42.000 Hi, everybody.

00:28:43.000 It's your friendly female alter art. 1.00

00:28:45.000 And in today's video, we will be switching.

00:28:48.000 Me and Alex will be switching out who is in front and now just as a disclaimer, every system is going to switch differently.

00:28:55.000 And every switch in every system is going to look differently.

00:28:58.000 Just because me and Alex can switch very fast does not mean every alter in our system can switch this fast.

00:29:03.000 Please give us a like because I know we're going to get called fake for this.

00:29:07.000 All right, here it goes.

00:29:08.000 Please give us a like.

00:29:09.000 Doesn't that sum it up?

00:29:12.000 Yo, what's up?

00:29:13.000 Hey everyone, it's Alex from the A system.

00:29:14.000 The reason me and Art can switch so quickly is because we've been in the system the longest.

00:29:18.000 We've both been in the system since early childhood.

00:29:21.000 We have switched tens of thousands of times.

00:29:24.000 Not all the switches in our system are that smooth.

00:29:26.000 For example, the switch between me and Asher is a lot longer than that.

00:29:30.000 Thank you.

00:29:31.000 Hi, everybody.

00:29:32.000 It's your friendly email.

00:29:33.000 Can you like that?

00:29:34.000 Let's give that a like.

00:29:35.000 Okay.

00:29:36.000 I like that.

00:29:39.000 There's your like.

00:29:40.000 You happy now, bitch? 1.00

00:29:42.000 I don't like art.

00:29:44.000 I like Alex.

00:29:45.000 So when I go over there and I go, hey, man, is Alex around?

00:29:48.000 And she goes, I don't think so.

00:29:50.000 I go, come on.

00:29:51.000 I want to talk to Alex.

00:29:52.000 Okay, what's going on, dude?

00:29:54.000 I go, hey, man, what's up?

00:29:56.000 Glad that fucking bitch art is gone. 1.00

00:29:59.000 Is she a chick, by the way? 1.00

00:30:00.000 And he's like, nah, she's just a fag. 1.00

00:30:05.000 And I thought this was interesting.

00:30:07.000 I'd never really noticed this before, but someone pointed out that these people are always alone.

00:30:16.000 Have you noticed how lonely they are?

00:30:18.000 I've noticed this with Sarah Silverman and Chelsea Handler, and I think they're starting to notice it.

00:30:23.000 I'm noticing a, oh, farts.

00:30:28.000 What are some key things I could look up from that tweet?

00:30:32.000 Oh, was this girl explaining her pronouns?

00:30:36.000 It was called libs posting their L's or something, but I don't think that'll be it.

00:30:41.000 Wow.

00:30:42.000 So they got banned?

00:30:43.000 Yeah, I guess they got banned.

00:30:45.000 Fuck.

00:30:45.000 But she was saying sometimes she's he, she, and then other days she changes, and the way to know if it's going to be a change is to check for this, then that.

00:30:59.000 This is.

00:31:02.000 This isn't the one, but I mean, they're all the same, right?

00:31:05.000 And look, they're always alone.

00:31:09.000 So I would suggest that you do your co-op.

00:31:12.000 It was a TikTok, right?

00:31:14.000 Yeah.

00:31:15.000 But you just show that one.

00:31:19.000 They're all the same, and they're always alone.

00:31:22.000 So it's not just boring people that wish they were interesting.

00:31:26.000 It's lonely people that wish they were interesting.

00:31:29.000 And that's why they're lonely.

00:31:31.000 Because they're boring and self-obsessed.

00:31:33.000 Hey, hey, lesbian. 1.00

00:31:34.000 I don't get it.

00:31:34.000 Can someone please explain it to me so I can like understand?

00:31:37.000 Hello, my name's Phoebe.

00:31:38.000 I use Neymar.

00:31:39.000 Whoa, did she cut her wrists and she's doing a video and making sure you see her bandages? 1.00

00:31:43.000 Go back.

00:31:46.000 Was mental illness this prominent when I was a kid?

00:31:50.000 Look, she has to get her bandages in the shot. 1.00

00:31:53.000 Yeah, nobody does that hand thing normally.

00:31:58.000 Yeah, she just wants to show them off.

00:32:01.000 I did cut, sure.

00:32:02.000 A lot of you have noticed and have been asking me.

00:32:05.000 Meanwhile, nobody did.

00:32:06.000 Is it raining out today?

00:32:09.000 Go back to her, though.

00:32:12.000 Hello, my name's Phoebe.

00:32:13.000 I use pronouns primarily, and he, him is sort of like a secondary pronoun, and I'm a lesbian.

00:32:18.000 So somebody tagged me in this.

00:32:20.000 Nice to meet you.

00:32:21.000 Pronouns do not equal gender, and that's like the whole thesis statement and the answer to your question, basically.

00:32:26.000 Like digging a little deeper into that, though.

00:32:28.000 Lots of lesbians have complicated relationships with gender for all kinds of various reasons. 1.00

00:32:32.000 Lesbians who were socialized as women and are not attracted to men like have a really weird experience in patriarchal society and like the male gaze and like all of these things.

00:32:42.000 So it's very common to feel like incredibly disconnected from womanhood as a concept.

00:32:47.000 Anyone?

00:32:48.000 Another one?

00:32:51.000 Alone.

00:32:56.000 Okay, I can't look at that anymore.

00:32:58.000 I've had enough.

00:33:02.000 I'm going to wager that we've never been this crazy.

00:33:05.000 This is the craziest we've ever been.

00:33:08.000 What do you think?

00:33:09.000 Dude, it's bad.

00:33:10.000 I mean, I'm just scrolling through that same video here.

00:33:13.000 And just the amount of cosplay, mental illness, narcissism.

00:33:17.000 Like just damaged narcissists.

00:33:19.000 Yeah, this is what social media has done to a generation.

00:33:24.000 When I was a teenager, if you took out a camera and started photographing people, it was just annoying.

00:33:29.000 They'd go, fuck off, stop.

00:33:32.000 There'd maybe be one guy who had a camera in a dark room, but he would go to shows and take pictures of bands.

00:33:37.000 He wouldn't be always catching people on their couch.

00:33:40.000 I mean, I guess there would be some kids who took like photography in high school and they'd have the artsy-fartsy pictures of their friends, but it's everywhere now.

00:33:50.000 I think it probably has to do with fatherlessness.

00:33:54.000 I think pretending you're a woman in a video game is fucking up the genders. 1.00

00:33:58.000 And constant porn this past year has been a porn festival.

00:34:03.000 Every time you shake hands with someone who works from home, you're shaking hands with penis skin. 1.00

00:34:09.000 That guy just beat off.

00:34:11.000 I'm telling you, the amount of wanking, like no wonder, what's his name?

00:34:15.000 Jeffrey Toobin got caught.

00:34:16.000 Everyone's beating off 24 hours a day.

00:34:18.000 Stop it.

00:34:20.000 Get your hands out of your pants, you fucking perverts.

00:34:22.000 You smell like dick cheese.

00:34:25.000 And it's all, I think it's adding to rampant gayness. 1.00

00:34:29.000 Like, look at this.

00:34:31.000 1-7.

00:34:32.000 This is the level of faggotry we're experiencing here in New York post-pandemic, pre-pandemic, too. 1.00

00:34:38.000 Wait, what's this?

00:34:39.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:34:41.000 That's Washington Square Park right by NYU.

00:34:47.000 He's shooting water in his heiny, yeah.

00:34:50.000 That's really bad diarrhea.

00:34:54.000 That's me on my tushy.

00:34:57.000 My tushy bidet.

00:34:58.000 Yeah.

00:35:00.000 Well, at least he's clean.

00:35:03.000 And then I thought this one was funny, too.

00:35:05.000 This guy is such a diva that he stops for no one.

00:35:10.000 Look out, boys.

00:35:11.000 I'm too sexy for my taser.

00:35:29.000 It's best to, right before he gets it, he really gets his stride.

00:35:39.000 There must be times as a cop where you're sort of going, you're like, oh, I put your, put your hands behind your back.

00:35:51.000 And then someone goes, are you laughing, officer?

00:35:54.000 No, I'm trying not to cry.

00:35:56.000 God.

00:36:02.000 Back in the good old days, you could joke about stuff like that.

00:36:07.000 Go to jump to 2-0.

00:36:10.000 This was some good news.

00:36:11.000 This is loosely linked to homosexuality.

00:36:14.000 Man found dead with the words, I touch little girls, written on chest.

00:36:19.000 Damn.

00:36:20.000 I mean, gays are disproportionately linked to pedophilia, but this isn't a case of that.

00:36:26.000 I thought it was.

00:36:28.000 Isn't that great news?

00:36:30.000 That guy, John, from the office, who also was John Wick, not John Wick, but he's also in those adventure movies.

00:36:36.000 You know the guy?

00:36:36.000 John Creacher?

00:36:37.000 Yeah.

00:36:37.000 John Krasinski.

00:36:38.000 John Krasinski.

00:36:39.000 He has a show called Good News.

00:36:41.000 It's a YouTube show he does with his kids, and it's all like, a kitten was saved from a tree.

00:36:45.000 This should be in his Good News segment.

00:36:47.000 Hey, a pedophile was murdered.

00:36:49.000 Doo-doo-doop-da-doop-doop. 1.00

00:36:51.000 Beep.

00:36:52.000 Let's see the article.

00:36:54.000 Yeah.

00:36:55.000 Today, with John Krasinski, they killed a fucking pedophile.

00:37:00.000 No need for taxes.

00:37:02.000 No need for courtrooms. 0.87

00:37:03.000 No need for nothing.

00:37:04.000 It's been handled.

00:37:08.000 What does it say?

00:37:09.000 An elderly Staten Allen man was found dead in a multifamily house with the words, I touched little girls written in marker on his chest.

00:37:16.000 Robert Raynor, 80, was that 80?

00:37:18.000 Was located by emergency medical crew in the hallway of Tompkinsville and blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:37:23.000 The law enforcement source told the advance the message was written in black ink, and it was unclear who wrote it, why, or whether it was written before or after Raynor died.

00:37:33.000 Yeah, that's not giving us any details, dude.

00:37:36.000 On the foot, he also had the words, I touch, written on one foot when discovered by police.

00:37:42.000 So maybe they just tried starting there, and they were like, nah, what's not really an attention grabber?

00:37:49.000 Huh.

00:37:52.000 Yeah.

00:37:53.000 So that got me looking up pedophile vigilantes or sorry, vigilantes who kill pedophiles.

00:37:58.000 And I discovered this case from the 80s, 19.

00:38:02.000 Marianne Bachmeyer, Germany's revenge mother, who shot her child's killer in the middle of his trial.

00:38:09.000 So I guess they didn't do metal detectors back in Germany in the 80s.

00:38:13.000 And in the middle of the courtroom, she just goes, he murdered her seven-year-old daughter.

00:38:19.000 She murdered him. 0.95

00:38:21.000 Sounds good to me.

00:38:22.000 More good news.

00:38:24.000 Here on John Krasinski's great news.

00:38:26.000 And she had leather pants on when she did it. 0.91

00:38:29.000 You can't beat that.

00:38:30.000 Only Germans can pull off recreational leather pants. 1.00

00:38:34.000 Yeah.

00:38:35.000 Can you imagine I had on leather pants right now and didn't say anything?

00:38:40.000 Yeah, you'd have to be like slash or above.

00:38:43.000 Yeah, unless you just stepped off a motorcycle, leather pants are impossible to pull off.

00:38:48.000 And also, I assume they're boiling fucking hot.

00:38:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:51.000 Wasn't that an episode of Friends?

00:38:54.000 Her sentence divides the country.

00:38:56.000 What division?

00:38:57.000 Between pedophiles and non-pedophiles?

00:38:59.000 They should have had a trial.

00:39:01.000 They got the right guy.

00:39:05.000 Alright, let's have some fun and jump over to my pet Biden. 1.00

00:39:10.000 Alright.

00:39:12.000 Yes, I did it.

00:39:13.000 I shot and flusen him.

00:39:16.000 Are you mad?

00:39:17.000 You mad, bro?

00:39:18.000 You mad, Broseph?

00:39:20.000 You mad, mine guy?

00:39:22.000 Mein Dudas.

00:39:23.000 Mein Dudas.

00:39:27.000 Biden.

00:39:28.000 On him I can depend.

00:39:31.000 Biden.

00:39:32.000 A monster of the president.

00:39:34.000 He's big and loose.

00:39:36.000 Sleepy.

00:39:36.000 But a friendly monster too.

00:39:39.000 My pet.

00:39:40.000 Biden.

00:39:40.000 Wait, what?

00:39:41.000 That doesn't rhyme.

00:39:47.000 He's at it again.

00:39:50.000 So, my cute little senile old grandpa, Mr. Magoo, who I think is going to make it to 2024, but it'll be like crawling towards the finish line.

00:40:01.000 You know, you see those marathons where it's some woman on her hands and knees just trying to get to the end and she's four hours late?

00:40:07.000 That's going to be 2024.

00:40:09.000 Like they'll say, so, Mr. President, how do you feel about losing the second election of your term?

00:40:16.000 Your second term.

00:40:17.000 And he's just going to go, oh, all kinds of bananas are aimed directly.

00:40:21.000 Not bananas, but it is bananas.

00:40:24.000 But anyway, I probably said too much.

00:40:28.000 No, not even close to that.

00:40:30.000 Like her, there we go.

00:40:31.000 There's Biden in 2023.

00:40:34.000 She leads him by about four car lengths.

00:40:39.000 That's going to fuck up your knees, ladies. 1.00

00:40:40.000 Stop.

00:40:44.000 What a scene right there.

00:40:45.000 She was awarded.

00:40:46.000 Hey man.

00:40:47.000 Hey, man.

00:40:48.000 She was exactly like Biden there. 0.75

00:40:50.000 So anyway, this is ancient news now, but he's at some, I don't know, truck factory, and they're looking at a beautiful 18-wheeler, and he gets caught up in the moment, and he goes, yeah, I used to drive one of these.

00:41:03.000 What?

00:41:04.000 When were you a trucker?

00:41:06.000 Did you deliver Fresh Direct in a sprinter van?

00:41:09.000 It's Peapod, man.

00:41:10.000 Yeah.

00:41:11.000 Corn Pop and I used to travel the country.

00:41:14.000 I'd sleep, he'd drive.

00:41:15.000 Corn pop.

00:41:16.000 I'd drive, he sleeps.

00:41:17.000 No, Peapop.

00:41:19.000 Not 18-wheeler.

00:41:20.000 I used to be in an 18-wheeler.

00:41:23.000 And then the defense people use is, they go, no, no, he rode in one.

00:41:27.000 He misspoke.

00:41:28.000 And he rode in one because he gets to know the people.

00:41:31.000 And Trump doesn't know any people, which is just horseshit.

00:41:34.000 No one's more connected to the working class than Donald Trump.

00:41:39.000 He worked with them, literally, for years.

00:41:42.000 And you notice this when he talks about the unions and inside jokes.

00:41:45.000 Yeah, there's the steam fitters.

00:41:46.000 They'll be checking out at 2 p.m.

00:41:48.000 And no one gets the jokes, but blue-collar guys go, yeah, classic steam fitters, Don.

00:41:52.000 Classic steam fitters.

00:41:55.000 There's a plumbing crew.

00:41:56.000 They'll probably be building a potato gun on their own downtime. 0.68

00:41:59.000 Am I right?

00:41:59.000 Yeah, we do do that.

00:42:02.000 We do do.

00:42:03.000 Let me hear it.

00:42:07.000 Man.

00:42:08.000 Oh, I wish.

00:42:09.000 And anyway.

00:42:11.000 And if I used to drive an 18-wheeler, man.

00:42:14.000 Oh, I wish.

00:42:16.000 I forgot to.

00:42:20.000 Hold on.

00:42:21.000 I used to drive an 18-wheeler, man.

00:42:23.000 Oh, yeah?

00:42:25.000 And then he has time to say, no, no, Ryden.

00:42:27.000 And he goes, yeah, I had to.

00:42:29.000 Had to.

00:42:29.000 Had to to pay the bills.

00:42:31.000 Your mandatory 18-wheeler ride.

00:42:33.000 But he, I think his first job in politics was when he came out of the womb.

00:42:37.000 He's been doing this for 50 years.

00:42:39.000 When did you have a chance to become a trucker?

00:42:42.000 I had to to make ends meet.

00:42:44.000 Back in Scranton, PA.

00:42:49.000 The other thing they do, too, is they, I noticed, I saw it when this was big on Twitter that people were saying, oh yeah, Trump dodged the draft to Vietnam.

00:42:59.000 Who the fuck wouldn't?

00:43:00.000 And by saying he had bone splints, he's not brave.

00:43:03.000 Yeah, I'm not brave enough to go to Vietnam.

00:43:05.000 Are you?

00:43:05.000 Would anyone?

00:43:07.000 And Biden deferred the draft, the Vietnam draft, exactly as many times as Trump did.

00:43:13.000 Or maybe even more.

00:43:14.000 So that's a non-issue.

00:43:20.000 22, the White House is having trouble defending this allegation or lie.

00:43:30.000 What the fuck's going on?

00:43:33.000 Something's going up with your computer, guy.

00:43:36.000 White House, I love this word, struggles to defend Biden claim that he used to drive an 18-wheeler.

00:43:41.000 Look at his face.

00:43:43.000 That person is lost.

00:43:46.000 That person is totally confused.

00:43:49.000 He's like, you know when you're super duper blackout drunk and you're like, am I in a parking lot or am I at work?

00:43:56.000 That's sad.

00:43:58.000 You know, he got booed thoroughly in his hometown.

00:44:01.000 Oh, in Scranton?

00:44:02.000 Yep.

00:44:03.000 Have you seen this new commercial going around?

00:44:05.000 The Biker ad? 0.76

00:44:08.000 It's for, I don't know what he's running for.

00:44:11.000 Mayor of Scranton PA or something?

00:44:14.000 Congressman?

00:44:16.000 I don't know that stuff.

00:44:18.000 But it's a very popular ad that's gone viral.

00:44:21.000 Look up Biker Scranton political ad fire. 0.99

00:44:25.000 Benny Johnson said it ripped his face off.

00:44:27.000 I have a feeling Benny Johnson made it.

00:44:29.000 He seems to be very enthusiastic about things he had something to do with.

00:44:32.000 Let's see.

00:44:34.000 So it's on Benny Johnson's Instagram.

00:44:36.000 No, you should already have found it by now, Ryan.

00:44:38.000 Mayor or Scranton PA political ad biker.

00:44:44.000 And don't say ad, say commercial.

00:44:48.000 Ad.

00:44:51.000 We'll just wait here.

00:44:54.000 You can show.

00:44:55.000 No.

00:44:58.000 Biker, Scranton, PA, political, commercial.

00:45:02.000 Cut out mayor. 0.86

00:45:07.000 And now go to videos.

00:45:12.000 Are Scranton for Biden commercial?

00:45:14.000 No, no, no.

00:45:16.000 Might be on Benny Johnson's Instagrams.

00:45:19.000 Yeah, it probably is.

00:45:20.000 Let's check him out.

00:45:22.000 So, guys, I know I've been talking about Biden for a long time, but this is getting crazy.

00:45:29.000 Oh, click on that one where Biden looks like a lunatic.

00:45:32.000 So any Biden picture?

00:45:34.000 Sorry.

00:45:36.000 I have to compliment Republican Senimar leader, Mitch McConnell.

00:45:41.000 Oh, God.

00:45:42.000 He had made a political encourage people to get vaccinated and continue to do so?

00:45:46.000 And the state's in pretty good shape.

00:45:49.000 Alabama Republican governor, K. Ivy, recently spoke out to encourage vaccination.

00:45:55.000 And even the commentators on facts who have been belittling it.

00:45:58.000 On facts?

00:45:59.000 On facts?

00:46:01.000 I am not going to take advice from a fing three-year-old that can't stay. 0.99

00:46:07.000 Even facts.

00:46:08.000 He called Fox News facts.

00:46:10.000 Wow.

00:46:12.000 And you know what he does with sentences?

00:46:14.000 He reads things and he stops mid-sentence and then barrels through the period.

00:46:21.000 So a lot of people have said they don't want to get the vaccine and that's because it's really hard to do actually.

00:46:29.000 Pull up an article or go back to Benny Johnson's thing, his Instagram, and hopefully there'll be a...

00:46:35.000 Yeah, okay, look at that tweet.

00:46:37.000 Walk into the Capitol without a mask and you'll be arrested.

00:46:40.000 So this is what Joe Biden does.

00:46:42.000 He goes, walk into the Capitol without a mask and you'll be arrested.

00:46:45.000 Cross our border illegally with COVID and you'll get a bus.

00:46:51.000 Take it to the city of your choice.

00:46:53.000 He doesn't even know that you have to go walk into the Capitol without a mask and you'll be arrested.

00:46:59.000 Cross our border illegally with COVID and you'll get a bus.

00:47:02.000 Take it to the city of your choice.

00:47:03.000 He just goes, walk into the capital.

00:47:04.000 And I bet it's because his vision is gone.

00:47:08.000 So the font is size a million.

00:47:12.000 So the teleprompter says, walk into the Capitol without a mask.

00:47:20.000 So as it's scrolling, he's like, walk into the Capitol without a mask.

00:47:26.000 And you will be there tomorrow.

00:47:30.000 But yeah, let's go back to his Instagram to find that political campaign ad.

00:47:33.000 Dupa Da, Dupa Dee, Dupa Doo, Dupa Dee, Dupa Do, Dupa Dee, Dupa Dee.

00:47:41.000 Boy, we're really going back now.

00:47:44.000 Fudge, we can't find it.

00:47:45.000 Is it super new?

00:47:47.000 Yeah.

00:47:48.000 I don't think it's this far back.

00:47:53.000 What are you doing now?

00:47:54.000 Maybe it's on a story.

00:47:57.000 Oh, this is not making for very good TV.

00:47:59.000 John Fetterman?

00:48:01.000 Yeah.

00:48:02.000 Oh, wait, wait, wait.

00:48:03.000 There it goes.

00:48:04.000 No?

00:48:04.000 Right?

00:48:05.000 Smashing the face.

00:48:06.000 What was the burning the face thing you mentioned?

00:48:08.000 Yeah, just because it has the word face in it.

00:48:14.000 No, it's a whole ad.

00:48:15.000 It's like 30 seconds, and it's not that good.

00:48:17.000 And I'm getting mad that we're wasting so much fucking time on this bullshit.

00:48:22.000 By the way, did you see the news that the guy who confronted Tucker Carlson and said he's the worst thing in the world, worst thing for our country, worst thing for our state, worst thing for our town, and what you're doing to humanity?

00:48:33.000 This is the thing that they do.

00:48:35.000 They have this vernacular that is like little kid talk.

00:48:38.000 Like when Judd Appetow said Tucker and I were the worst humanity has to offer.

00:48:44.000 Like that's how you talk when you're a sullen teen.

00:48:46.000 How's it going?

00:48:47.000 Terrible.

00:48:47.000 I want the entire earth to die.

00:48:50.000 My teacher is the worst thing available to humanity.

00:48:54.000 That's how they talk.

00:48:55.000 But it turns out that that dude has CIA ties.

00:49:02.000 Damn.

00:49:05.000 Uh-oh.

00:49:06.000 I got it.

00:49:07.000 It's in the separate.

00:49:08.000 You sent that in a separate email.

00:49:10.000 Yes.

00:49:10.000 And it is right here.

00:49:14.000 Man who confronts Tucker Carlson faces conspiracies about being a CIA operative.

00:49:19.000 A conspiracy theorist is once again citing an unnamed White House source.

00:49:22.000 So this is a skeptical publication.

00:49:28.000 Justin, the White House knew about the Tucker confrontation.

00:49:31.000 The entire setup was planned out in advance per White House official.

00:49:35.000 Yeah, the Daily Dot's full of shit.

00:49:37.000 What a strange link to send about that.

00:49:40.000 But yeah, this guy who does the tour guides is linked to this CIA-funded outdoorsy thing.

00:49:47.000 Go back.

00:49:53.000 So NASA, yeah, there we go.

00:49:56.000 This is kind of odd.

00:49:58.000 So the NSA got caught spying on Tucker when he just happened to bump into this Montana man with CIA Connects.

00:50:05.000 So click on those pictures.

00:50:13.000 Keep going.

00:50:15.000 It's not every day you get to tell someone they're the worst.

00:50:17.000 Daily Dar Bailey MT, okay?

00:50:22.000 Yeah, yep.

00:50:24.000 Wait, I skipped one.

00:50:26.000 There we go.

00:50:28.000 Board member of the Asia Foundation Securing Our Future project.

00:50:32.000 During his first field season, Dan performed numerous rivers assessments across Mongolia with American scientists.

00:50:40.000 So he works for the Asia Foundations.

00:50:43.000 And now we'll go to the next one.

00:50:44.000 He's a river ecologist.

00:50:47.000 The Asia Foundation proposed improvements.

00:50:50.000 Memorandum from the CIA to the 303 committee subject, the Asia Foundation, proposed improvements in funding procedures.

00:50:58.000 He works for a CIA-funded foundation.

00:51:01.000 And while Tucker was bitching about the CIA bitching, pointing out that the CIA was tracking him, he gets caught by or accosted by a CIA operative.

00:51:16.000 Yep.

00:51:17.000 Too true, JD Vance.

00:51:21.000 So to the guy that sent me that story, why would you send me a daily dot link?

00:51:24.000 I know what you're going to say.

00:51:24.000 You're going to say, well, no, I just looked it up.

00:51:26.000 You could have looked it up too.

00:51:28.000 Terrible excuses.

00:51:31.000 We still need to find that fucking ad, dude.

00:51:34.000 True.

00:51:38.000 Here, I'm going to do it.

00:51:40.000 Something's done, you got to do it yourself.

00:51:42.000 Want something done right, you got to ask a busy person.

00:51:44.000 That's the only way anything gets done in this fucking town.

00:51:47.000 Like, I'll bet you forgot about Katie Hopkins' trailer for her show. 0.74

00:51:53.000 Right?

00:51:54.000 I just saw that email yesterday.

00:51:56.000 That just came in, right?

00:51:59.000 So you have forgotten about it.

00:52:00.000 Forgotten?

00:52:01.000 You forgot about it recently.

00:52:02.000 It happened yesterday.

00:52:06.000 Maybe he's not an actual biker.

00:52:10.000 there it is.

00:52:10.000 That's better, Teddy.

00:52:11.000 Look at you now.

00:52:13.000 See, if you don't do it our way, we won't back you.

00:52:16.000 We pick who wins and loses around here.

00:52:19.000 I hate these rich turds.

00:52:21.000 You know what?

00:52:22.000 I'm not doing this fake, phony, elitist BS.

00:52:26.000 It's not me.

00:52:28.000 I don't need you, and I'm not going to let you clowns muscle me. 1.00

00:52:31.000 I'm not doing this for you.

00:52:38.000 What the heck?

00:52:39.000 I'm Teddy Danes, and I'm running for Congress in Stranton, Pennsylvania.

00:52:44.000 You know.

00:52:46.000 Dude, if you have a shirt that says America first, then wear that shirt in your commercial, because right now we see Eerie IRS.

00:52:57.000 That's confusing, and it's distracting.

00:53:00.000 Anyway, minor flaw.

00:53:02.000 Joe Biden's hometown, I despise swappy sellout politicians, and that's exactly why I'm running.

00:53:10.000 I'm tired of these elitist suits who have sold out our country, and something needs to be done about it.

00:53:17.000 These establishment sellouts are completely out of touch with real America.

00:53:21.000 They are nothing more than bought and paid-for hacks who sell out America and the individual freedoms and liberties of everyday people like you and me.

00:53:29.000 Hell, they'll even eat their own for a dollar.

00:53:32.000 They don't care about protecting your freedom of speech, your right to bear arms, or even Alexa security.

00:53:39.000 They're more concerned about appeasing the left than they are standing up for us.

00:53:44.000 Time to bring out the big guns.

00:53:45.000 And the big guns are the millions of men and women in this country who feel as though their voices aren't being heard.

00:53:52.000 I'll be your voice.

00:53:53.000 I did my part.

00:53:54.000 I served our country in the U.S. Army.

00:53:57.000 I survived gunfights with Taliban terrorists in Afghanistan.

00:54:01.000 And they gave me a purple heart.

00:54:03.000 If I was willing to risk my life for freedom, when I was deployed overseas, you know I will take the fight to the enemies of this nation in the halls of Congress.

00:54:13.000 We are at a pivotal moment in American history.

00:54:16.000 If we don't act now, we could lose our freedom forever.

00:54:19.000 They used to say socialism was at the door.

00:54:22.000 Well, now, it's in the building and coming down the hallway.

00:54:26.000 It's time for we the people to take our country back from corrupt swamp creatures in both parties.

00:54:34.000 I'm in this fight for my family, and I'm in this fight for your family.

00:54:38.000 I've been a fighter my whole life.

00:54:40.000 This is a fight that I won't walk away from, and I've never backed down from anyone or anything in a fight.

00:54:48.000 Send me to Congress so I can be your voice.

00:54:55.000 Kid looks pretty young, Teddy.

00:54:57.000 What took you so long?

00:54:58.000 Yeah, that was a good ad.

00:55:00.000 I thought it was a little corny at the beginning, but then I started to get pumped.

00:55:04.000 A lot of Trump dog whistles there, too.

00:55:06.000 Like what?

00:55:06.000 Trump stickers, people with Trump hats?

00:55:08.000 Oh, little Easter eggs.

00:55:10.000 Yeah, Easter eggs.

00:55:11.000 He's so right, though, about how socialism is in the building.

00:55:14.000 The communists always said they would take us over from the inside out.

00:55:18.000 And as my buddy Tony was saying yesterday, they have.

00:55:21.000 They did.

00:55:22.000 They've won.

00:55:23.000 When you have...

00:55:24.000 Okay, the number one mantra.

00:55:26.000 It says, fuck your feelings in his head.

00:55:31.000 Nice.

00:55:32.000 The number one mantra for the communists is, you're racist.

00:55:35.000 You're racist.

00:55:36.000 Now, why is that?

00:55:37.000 Because it's good at controlling white people. 0.92

00:55:41.000 Blacks are already controlled. 1.00

00:55:43.000 They have the military-industrial complex.

00:55:48.000 They have the drug war.

00:55:49.000 So they're already kept under the boot.

00:55:53.000 And they're voting Democrat.

00:55:54.000 They're easily controlled.

00:55:56.000 They're done.

00:55:57.000 But we need something that can control whites and Asians, I guess. 1.00

00:56:01.000 And so what we do with them is we make them feel bad about themselves and we put this terror on them.

00:56:05.000 We say, you're racist, you're racist, you're racist.

00:56:07.000 And they're constantly dodging that bullet, going, no, I'm not.

00:56:09.000 No, I'm not.

00:56:10.000 I'll do anything.

00:56:11.000 To the point where they're sending themselves to re-education camps.

00:56:15.000 Like that guy who said, yes, I am racist, but I'm going away to a center to learn how to de-racism myself.

00:56:23.000 So it's like self-imposed communism.

00:56:26.000 And then what are our top brass saying?

00:56:28.000 We've got the director of the American military saying that white supremacy is the number one problem in America right now.

00:56:35.000 We've got the FBI and the CIA saying that domestic terrorism from patriots is the number one problem.

00:56:44.000 We've got hundreds of people in solitary confinement right now because they dared to vandalize and trespass on the Capitol.

00:56:51.000 And they've turned that into some sort of insurrection.

00:56:54.000 They've turned a meandering into an insurrection.

00:56:56.000 That's all communist.

00:56:58.000 That's all socialism.

00:56:59.000 That's all out of Chairman Mao's little red book.

00:57:02.000 We're living in it now.

00:57:04.000 Look at the judges that John and Max were set up with.

00:57:07.000 Three black women, the Asian guy left. 1.00

00:57:09.000 So three radical leftist black women, probably Soros linked, say, no, we're not giving him an appeal.

00:57:16.000 Who is the DA who threw them in jail in the first place?

00:57:19.000 Cyrus Vance.

00:57:21.000 Major globalist funded by Soros.

00:57:24.000 So we talk about this looming threat of globalism and communism.

00:57:28.000 That's in the past tense.

00:57:31.000 Black women represent 7% of the population.

00:57:33.000 They represent 75% of Proud Boys' appeals.

00:57:40.000 Let's check in on Antifa, shall we?

00:57:44.000 Oh, this was interesting.

00:57:46.000 Well, show you a little clip.

00:57:49.000 How do you hear that?

00:57:50.000 I mean, I'm sure for jaywalking, there is a case in the book where you can do a year work and you can pay a $50,000 fine.

00:58:00.000 There's two things playing.

00:58:01.000 Well, stop the other thing playing.

00:58:07.000 That was a good one.

00:58:08.000 Yeah, that was a pretty good one.

00:58:09.000 He deeked out the first punch, if you recall.

00:58:11.000 Pretty good.

00:58:13.000 But he couldn't take the other 22.

00:58:18.000 Wrong background, Ryan.

00:58:20.000 So this was at a, I don't know, a pro-life thing in Northern California.

00:58:25.000 And, oh, I love this one.

00:58:27.000 And it's fun to watch really carefully.

00:58:29.000 You should probably go to, yeah, stay on camera too for this one.

00:58:32.000 It's almost worth a green screen.

00:58:34.000 But the way they fight, it says tomes about who they are and where they come from.

00:58:41.000 So, watch this.

00:58:42.000 I'll try to get out of the way a bit.

00:58:47.000 So, you wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

00:58:50.000 So, there's Proud Boys there, it appears.

00:58:52.000 I see some black and yellow.

00:58:53.000 And it was this Christian pro-life group.

00:58:56.000 And Antifa just showed up to beat them up because if you don't want to kill babies, you need to die.

00:59:00.000 And what I see always is these arrogant women who obviously can't fight. 1.00

00:59:05.000 Maybe a hundredth of 1% of women can fight. 1.00

00:59:09.000 And so these women who can't fight, they have all the hubris of Conor McGregor, and they dive in there ready to kick some ass and take some names. 1.00

00:59:16.000 They always get a rude awakening, and they chicken out immediately.

00:59:20.000 And then there's, and by the way, those women with too much moxie are on both sides. 1.00

00:59:25.000 Both women just dive in and rush at these dudes who go, I guess I'll punch you in the face? 1.00

00:59:30.000 I don't know.

00:59:31.000 And then you have the male dudes who aren't quite as brave, but they go in anyway, and you can tell this is their first fight.

00:59:39.000 So right now, what you're seeing is patriotic bodyguards versus pussy white males and stupid bitch feminists. 0.98

00:59:48.000 Good punch there. 0.50

00:59:50.000 Wait, stop.

00:59:51.000 Now, see, that even takes more.

00:59:52.000 So you'll see yellow arms deliver a good normal punch that he turns over beautifully.

00:59:57.000 And then the other guy does like a plap-plap.

01:00:03.000 Yeah, look at that other punch. 0.86

01:00:05.000 It's like down.

01:00:09.000 And then his helmet comes flying off.

01:00:12.000 So they know, look, they understand grappling and they pull him down.

01:00:18.000 Why is that chick? 1.00

01:00:19.000 Look at all the chicks in there. 1.00

01:00:21.000 Of the right and the left.

01:00:22.000 Ladies, leave. 1.00

01:00:25.000 You're not dudes.

01:00:29.000 Look at her.

01:00:31.000 Like that woman-on-woman crime right there. 0.99

01:00:34.000 And that's probably a woman in the ski mask. 1.00

01:00:38.000 But you'll see now, see that guy in the t-shirt?

01:00:41.000 He obviously has fighting experience, and he's learned that with these little pussies, it's best to pick them up and drop them on their heads. 1.00

01:00:47.000 Bye-bye.

01:00:48.000 So he just picks him up and slams them on the ground.

01:00:50.000 He figures, all right, that guy's handled.

01:00:52.000 And now this guy with yellow arms proceeds to make sure he stays down.

01:00:57.000 Gives him a few kicks while he's down.

01:01:00.000 Look, they just throw them around like little rag dolls.

01:01:05.000 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

01:01:08.000 We're taking our doll back.

01:01:09.000 Yeah, have him.

01:01:26.000 That's another annoying thing women do. 1.00

01:01:28.000 We have you on camera.

01:01:29.000 You're going down.

01:01:30.000 First of all, they could be holding their ID up to the camera.

01:01:33.000 They're not going down.

01:01:34.000 Antifa consistently gets out of jail.

01:01:38.000 Secondly, they're masked up.

01:01:40.000 Like, no one's going down, smartass.

01:01:42.000 Your phone is not a weapon, Karen.

01:01:45.000 Conservative Karen. 0.98

01:01:51.000 Look at that monster in the tank top. 0.99

01:01:53.000 He's not filming anyone.

01:01:55.000 If he wants someone to go down, he throws them on the ground.

01:02:05.000 So that was fun.

01:02:11.000 And this is...

01:02:12.000 That's the end of fucking...

01:02:16.000 Oh, this is sort of similar.

01:02:18.000 Get to get on mic a little more.

01:02:20.000 This is pretty similar.

01:02:21.000 Jump to 2-8.

01:02:24.000 I'm really happy I finally figured out the problem with black women in America. 1.00

01:02:29.000 Oh.

01:02:30.000 No, 2-8, Ryan.

01:02:32.000 2-8.

01:02:35.000 2-8 is Jim Bro predicted this.

01:02:39.000 2-8A?

01:02:41.000 Or 2-8-B?

01:02:42.000 2-8.

01:02:44.000 No, there's 2-8-A, there's 2-8B, and then there's another 2-8.

01:02:48.000 Okay, and yeah, there we go.

01:02:56.000 Look at the way they talk.

01:02:57.000 And I think I know why.

01:03:02.000 They just are screaming and abusing.

01:03:05.000 See, where's my mouse?

01:03:07.000 What was this protest about?

01:03:09.000 Oh, this was ELAD.

01:03:10.000 Okay, there was a community center or something that they tried to board up and prevent from being seized.

01:03:17.000 Maybe people were living there illegally, something like that.

01:03:19.000 But this is ELAD's footage.

01:03:34.000 So you came.

01:03:34.000 Stop, stop.

01:03:35.000 So this is the old trope that the police in America came from a security force that was meant to catch escaped slaves.

01:03:46.000 Therefore, all cops are inexorably linked to slavery.

01:03:51.000 Okay, first of all, that's a retarded argument, but how do you explain Mongolia? 0.98

01:03:56.000 We've talked about this before.

01:03:56.000 I don't understand how you get away with all the other cops in the rest of the world.

01:04:01.000 Do you know there's other countries outside of America and you have to apply the same logic if you think that there, so there'd be no police here if there was no catching escaped slaves?

01:04:11.000 Who fucking cares what the first ones were?

01:04:14.000 Every nation has police.

01:04:16.000 America needs police.

01:04:19.000 New York City desperately needs police as we've learned over these past few months.

01:04:25.000 You should see fucking Penn Station.

01:04:29.000 It's disgusting.

01:04:31.000 Blood, junkies, filthy people like with no clothes on, just covered in dirt.

01:04:38.000 People shitting, pissing, vomiting.

01:04:40.000 Everywhere.

01:04:42.000 Blood and piss and shit everywhere.

01:04:44.000 It's shocking.

01:04:46.000 The walk from Penn Station to Anthony Studio, the least number of junkies I've ever counted was six.

01:04:52.000 And when I say junkies, I mean like with one shoe on, was six.

01:04:56.000 It's usually 13 to 20.

01:04:57.000 And it's a block and a half.

01:05:01.000 So, anyway, go back to these fucking bitches. 1.00

01:05:09.000 Are you seeing a lot of white privilege here?

01:05:25.000 Don't found this black girl being a bitch. 1.00

01:05:27.000 See, they're spoiled. 0.99

01:05:30.000 We don't like you, so leave.

01:05:34.000 So that's Elad they're pushing away?

01:05:36.000 Yeah.

01:05:36.000 We don't like you, so leave.

01:05:38.000 Recording ass bitch. 1.00

01:05:39.000 No, it is him.

01:05:40.000 See, the problem with him is he's now recording ass bitch. 1.00

01:05:44.000 While he's recording him.

01:05:45.000 Now that you've...

01:05:46.000 He's going to be recognized by everyone.

01:05:48.000 How does he go to these things now?

01:05:49.000 He goes and he gets recognized.

01:05:51.000 It seems like that's been the case for a bit.

01:05:53.000 Yeah, but they're just going to block his camera and harass him.

01:05:55.000 He's not going to get any interviews anymore.

01:05:58.000 Right?

01:05:59.000 Yeah.

01:05:59.000 Well, no, he gets some interviews with people that aren't so extreme.

01:06:03.000 Like Antifa knows who he is, but like leftists that just go out to protest probably don't.

01:06:07.000 Yeah, but even then, the leftists are going to come over and start screaming at him and shoving him and saying, you can't be here.

01:06:14.000 I tried to get him uncensored, but he's got his own thing going on.

01:06:27.000 Yeah, why don't you talk to all that?

01:06:28.000 Why don't you talk to all that?

01:06:30.000 So that guy that's harassing him the whole time gets arrested pretty aggressively.

01:06:39.000 He didn't stop him.

01:06:42.000 And dude, there are people that hit cops with, like the white shirt cops.

01:06:46.000 What are those, the captains, sergeants, somethings?

01:06:49.000 Yeah, sure.

01:06:50.000 They hit them with a fucking skateboard in the leg.

01:06:52.000 And like, dude, you are going to jail for a day until you get bailed out by that.

01:06:57.000 Do the logic.

01:06:58.000 You create a society on your computer right now and then have your little digital citizens beat the shit and humiliate and pour water on the guys you have enforcing the laws. 0.79

01:07:07.000 Let's see your little simulated city now.

01:07:11.000 Do the math.

01:07:13.000 We can't have police officers getting accosted, dummy.

01:07:18.000 What do you think?

01:07:20.000 It's like those people who argue with cops.

01:07:21.000 Like the cop is going to bow his head and go, you know what?

01:07:24.000 You're right.

01:07:24.000 I'm sorry.

01:07:25.000 Bye.

01:07:25.000 Free to go.

01:07:26.000 You called me a bitch. 0.98

01:07:31.000 Yeah, so it was a...

01:07:33.000 They were locking themselves in a space.

01:07:35.000 They were squatting.

01:07:36.000 This guy tries to go back in.

01:07:37.000 They're like, you're not.

01:07:39.000 Oh my God.

01:07:40.000 What are you doing?

01:07:42.000 Are you serious right now?

01:07:44.000 Are you serious?

01:07:49.000 Imagine squatting in New York City in this heat wave.

01:07:54.000 You're not going to have AC, I assume.

01:07:59.000 Toss your guy getting tossed.

01:08:00.000 Record the cops tossing your buddy.

01:08:02.000 Look at you.

01:08:04.000 This guy right here with the repent shirt or whatever.

01:08:08.000 I don't know what video, but he gets slammed pretty good.

01:08:11.000 Huh.

01:08:11.000 It's kind of nice revenge because he's been bugging Elad the whole fucking time.

01:08:15.000 Elad's not even conservative.

01:08:17.000 I mean, he's a Zionist.

01:08:20.000 But his politics are pretty liberal.

01:08:22.000 And in modern New York City, that's David Duke.

01:08:25.000 Boom.

01:08:26.000 Oh, I remember seeing that.

01:08:28.000 That's the guy?

01:08:29.000 That's the guy that was bothering Elad the most.

01:08:31.000 Who wears his stupid camera?

01:08:36.000 Oh, wait, here comes the...

01:08:37.000 Look at that.

01:08:37.000 That girl hits this fucking cop in the back of the legs with a skateboard.

01:08:42.000 Bam! 0.98

01:08:43.000 Doing my part.

01:08:47.000 And then she's like, what are you doing today?

01:08:48.000 Ow, are you serious right now?

01:08:51.000 It was a clean hit.

01:08:52.000 Are you serious?

01:08:53.000 Get off of me, you fucking pig. 0.99

01:08:55.000 My dad's a lawyer.

01:08:58.000 All their parents are rich.

01:09:00.000 And I think they squat because they want to keep the rent money.

01:09:03.000 Or maybe their dad tried cutting them off.

01:09:05.000 I'm going to see if she can pay for herself for a week. 1.00

01:09:09.000 Like, I can't liquidate them paying for my rent, so I'll sublet, then take the money.

01:09:14.000 Dude, that's a good guess.

01:09:16.000 Right?

01:09:16.000 They've got a decent apartment that's on like somewhere that's not so dangerous, like 14th and 3rd, somewhere near Union Square or something in the NYU zone.

01:09:26.000 Then they sublet that to someone.

01:09:28.000 Yeah, there.

01:09:29.000 He's got his camera.

01:09:30.000 Where's his camera gone?

01:09:31.000 He probably gave it to one of his brothers.

01:09:32.000 Oh, he gave it to his brother right there.

01:09:34.000 And then kabuki.

01:09:35.000 Kabuki.

01:09:38.000 It's fun seeing Antifa get slammed.

01:09:46.000 There was a big, speaking of Tucker, there was a big Make Tucker pay was trending because Tucker said, Fauci, who started the pandemic, who invented COVID, who started this mess,

01:10:02.000 he said something like that.

01:10:03.000 Maybe it's within the trend.

01:10:07.000 They go, well, Fauci has to sue him because Fauci did not start COVID.

01:10:13.000 But there's actually a pretty good argument that he did.

01:10:16.000 Because we have him talking about major investigations into genocide and pandemics and how sometimes you may have to build the actual virus to see and Wuhan doing exactly that and Fauci's money and Fauci's okay being linked to Wuhan. 0.56

01:10:35.000 So all of that together says that he's at least tangentially responsible for this mess.

01:10:42.000 Fauci said, I don't mind making viruses in order to study viruses.

01:10:47.000 Fauci said, I know there's a risk there, but it's collateral damage.

01:10:50.000 We'll get to know.

01:10:52.000 And Fauci's okay was linked to the funding of the Wuhan lab.

01:10:58.000 See, he doesn't just say shit.

01:11:00.000 And then these people are so uninformed, they don't know any of this, so they just go, make Tucker pay.

01:11:05.000 Sue him. 0.98

01:11:06.000 Donna wants him to be sued.

01:11:08.000 Donna, resist. 1.00

01:11:12.000 Now...

01:11:13.000 Take it from the guy who created COVID.

01:11:15.000 Watch this.

01:11:15.000 There.

01:11:17.000 Now that we have a Delta variant.

01:11:19.000 Wait, take it from the guy who created COVID.

01:11:21.000 Watch this.

01:11:22.000 Now that we have the Toyota Corolla, we can drive five miles and provide an unusual gas mileage.

01:11:35.000 By the way, that Jimbro, I think he's Canadian.

01:11:38.000 He predicted all this.

01:11:40.000 Fucking Jimbro, dude.

01:11:43.000 Remember him?

01:11:44.000 Jimbro Slice.

01:11:45.000 He predicted the second lockdown.

01:11:50.000 The mask.

01:11:50.000 The mask is about compliance because they know Canadians like to do what they're told.

01:11:54.000 So if they tell you you have to wear a mask, next they're going to tell you you have to contact trace.

01:11:58.000 Then they're going to tell you you have to take the vaccine.

01:12:00.000 And because Canadians like to do what they're told, they're hoping that everyone just complies.

01:12:04.000 And then guess what, kids?

01:12:05.000 Once you take your vaccine, like a dumb person that doesn't know any better, they're going to tell you, sorry, the vaccine isn't as effective as we thought it was going to be.

01:12:14.000 So now you still got to wear your mask, still got to get contact trace, still have all the restrictions and social distancing, and still take your vaccine.

01:12:22.000 And then what did you get out of all of this?

01:12:24.000 You got a whole year where you weren't allowed to travel.

01:12:26.000 Your business was closed.

01:12:27.000 They took your rights and freedoms.

01:12:29.000 They forced the vaccine on you.

01:12:31.000 And what happened?

01:12:32.000 The same amount of people died.

01:12:34.000 Everything is the exact same.

01:12:35.000 And now they're going to put you back on lockdown and bring it all the way till July of next year so they can do the same thing again.

01:12:42.000 Bring you from July, August, and September, getting you off lockdown, but just to bring you back on lockdown again.

01:12:48.000 If you idiots haven't figured it out yet, it's a perpetual cycle that you never get out of.

01:12:53.000 And it's a way to take your rights, your freedoms, close your business, take your wealth.

01:12:58.000 Why?

01:12:59.000 So you become dependent on government.

01:13:01.000 Why?

01:13:01.000 If you're independent, the government works for you like it's supposed to.

01:13:05.000 If you depend on the government to give you a paycheck to feed your family every month because they closed your business on you, now the government doesn't work for you.

01:13:12.000 The government rules you.

01:13:14.000 So instead of a middle class, we have the government, upper class, and the lower class dependents that rely on the government to survive.

01:13:22.000 In other words, we have a slave class. 0.87

01:13:24.000 And that's what they're trying to do.

01:13:26.000 It's that simple.

01:13:27.000 It's not a joke.

01:13:29.000 Nailed it.

01:13:31.000 By the way, just to leapfrog back to Biden while we're talking about COVID, he said about six months ago, or maybe less, four months ago, he said, look, it's very simple.

01:13:43.000 You get vaccinated, you don't need a mask.

01:13:45.000 We're finally done with this.

01:13:47.000 Vaxed or masked.

01:13:49.000 Or both.

01:13:52.000 But he also said, is that all that has?

01:13:55.000 No.

01:13:56.000 Because he clearly said, if you get a vax, you don't need a mask.

01:14:00.000 There's text.

01:14:02.000 Oh, yeah.

01:14:02.000 Folks, if you're fully vaccinated, you no longer need to wear a mask.

01:14:05.000 If you're not vaccinated yet, go to vaccine, blah, blah, blah.

01:14:07.000 So what's the date on that?

01:14:12.000 May 13th.

01:14:13.000 May 13th.

01:14:14.000 So May, June, three months ago, he said this.

01:14:18.000 And then what does he say today?

01:14:20.000 He says, that was true then. 0.86

01:14:21.000 It's not true anymore.

01:14:23.000 What?

01:14:24.000 The vaccine got less good?

01:14:28.000 This is hard to hear.

01:14:28.000 If you're fully vaccinated, you no longer need to wear a mask.

01:15:00.000 They didn't get vaccinated.

01:15:02.000 It was spread more rapidly.

01:15:04.000 And people more people were getting sick.

01:15:07.000 That's the difference.

01:15:08.000 What the hell?

01:15:10.000 Those are just lies.

01:15:12.000 How about the deaths?

01:15:14.000 What are the deaths at?

01:15:15.000 You're just making this shit up.

01:15:17.000 And they always choose the highest number.

01:15:20.000 If the deaths are high, they go for deaths.

01:15:21.000 If the cases are high, they go for cases.

01:15:23.000 And they can manipulate the number of cases, too.

01:15:27.000 I think I'm having COVID exhaustion at this point.

01:15:33.000 Okay, last thing on the cops.

01:15:35.000 I heard that the cop shot a guy, and he all he had was a water pistol.

01:15:40.000 And four years ago, I would have gone, what the fuck kind of ushole cop was that?

01:15:45.000 What a moron.

01:15:46.000 You got to train these cops better.

01:15:48.000 That's where your brain goes in a normal, not fake news world.

01:15:51.000 You go, cops need better training, guys.

01:15:53.000 Come on.

01:15:54.000 By the way, if we had more time, we'd start doing sketches.

01:15:56.000 And I would love to do a commercial for cop training where we teach you how to shoot guns out of perp's hands.

01:16:02.000 Yeah.

01:16:02.000 Next time we have some time off and we're in the country with some guns, we should do that commercial.

01:16:06.000 Yeah.

01:16:07.000 Pretend to be a training thing where you could show cops how to shoot shit out of perpetuation.

01:16:10.000 Shoot just the trigger finger.

01:16:11.000 If you have to shoot a shot.

01:16:12.000 Or shoot a guy's hat off.

01:16:15.000 Nothing scares a perp more than getting their glasses taken off their eyes because now they can't see.

01:16:20.000 Or like shoot, if you want me to say me to comply, shoot my glasses and my tie off.

01:16:26.000 Yeah.

01:16:27.000 Whoa, okay.

01:16:28.000 And we show footage from Wanted.

01:16:30.000 You got me?

01:16:31.000 Where they curve the bullet?

01:16:32.000 Yeah.

01:16:33.000 Or fucking Josie Wales, whatever, that Glenn Eastwood thing where he's an outlaw. 0.99

01:16:39.000 I've been wanting to do some skits while you were away.

01:16:41.000 I was like, maybe I should do like a Hobo Johnson music video recreation because I was doing the car, me and my wife.

01:16:48.000 Wife.

01:16:49.000 We were driving around.

01:16:50.000 I was like, so my sister was like, hey, I got a blister on your foot. 0.98

01:16:54.000 And I was like, read me a book.

01:16:56.000 And my mother and my father never raised me, but I got a message.

01:17:01.000 You might want to work on that writing.

01:17:02.000 We got the easy.

01:17:03.000 So have we announced that you got married?

01:17:06.000 Not yet.

01:17:08.000 Well, ladies and gentlemen.

01:17:09.000 Yeah.

01:17:10.000 I did, yeah.

01:17:11.000 But if that's coming up in the future, we're going to tell you about the proposal and all this.

01:17:16.000 You know what's funny about that episode?

01:17:19.000 What?

01:17:20.000 When you asked me how I proposed, I hadn't yet done it.

01:17:23.000 I did it later that day, so I was like, okay, this is in the future.

01:17:27.000 So that's why I was saying...

01:17:28.000 So you're lying.

01:17:28.000 Yeah, for the show.

01:17:29.000 I was like, you know, because this was going to air after post-marriage.

01:17:33.000 So I was like, that's why I keep saying, so, well, you give her the ring.

01:17:37.000 And you're like, why are you saying you?

01:17:39.000 Ryan's talking about we banked episodes for various emergencies, me going away and stuff like that.

01:17:44.000 And in it, he describes his proposal.

01:17:46.000 But you told me like it had already happened.

01:17:49.000 So you lied to me.

01:17:51.000 So you're a liar.

01:17:52.000 I'm a showman.

01:17:53.000 No, that was a lie.

01:17:54.000 You lied to me.

01:17:56.000 So you've since done that?

01:17:57.000 It was exactly the way I explained it.

01:17:59.000 Except we did dinner before.

01:18:02.000 Uh-huh.

01:18:03.000 And it was in the projects in the Bronx?

01:18:05.000 Not the projects.

01:18:06.000 It's a co-op in the Bronx.

01:18:09.000 Yeah.

01:18:10.000 The shittiest part of America.

01:18:11.000 Co-op City is the crown jewel of the Bronx for sure.

01:18:16.000 There's sprawling parks.

01:18:18.000 Something tells me if I look up the rape stats for rape, but I mean...

01:18:22.000 But it's beautiful rape. 0.95

01:18:24.000 It's the crown jewel of rape.

01:18:26.000 Could you picture a better backdrop to get raped?

01:18:28.000 It's the best place to be raped in the Bronx. 1.00

01:18:30.000 It's the spoonful of sugar to make the rape medicine go down. 0.99

01:18:33.000 So anyway, you hear a cop shot a guy with a water pistol, and you're like, you need better training, man.

01:18:39.000 This poor guy was shot just for having a water pistol in his hand.

01:18:43.000 Maybe he was playing with his grandson.

01:18:45.000 Why'd you kill him?

01:18:46.000 Then we see the bottom.

01:18:48.000 Here's another thing.

01:18:49.000 Before I get to that, have you seen this footage of the guy throwing drugs into a dude's car?

01:18:54.000 The police officer throwing drugs?

01:18:55.000 Yeah.

01:18:56.000 No.

01:18:57.000 So the footage from the black dude in the passenger seat was, hey, what are you doing? 0.95

01:19:00.000 Why are you throwing drugs in my car?

01:19:01.000 And you see the drugs go through the air and into the car.

01:19:04.000 And you go, that looks pretty bad.

01:19:06.000 And then you see the body cam footage.

01:19:09.000 And what the cop was doing was, with his body cam, he said, what's that?

01:19:13.000 The guy pulls out a bag.

01:19:14.000 He goes, it's an empty bag of cocaine.

01:19:16.000 And then he throws it back to him.

01:19:18.000 And he's like, well, this is looking bad for you.

01:19:22.000 And then he throws it into the car as like, we'll deal with that later or we won't deal with that.

01:19:26.000 Or I already have the bag on tape.

01:19:28.000 I don't need the bag anymore.

01:19:29.000 And I don't want to be carrying around a bag of Coke.

01:19:31.000 So he threw it over there.

01:19:33.000 I guess it's not needed as evidence.

01:19:37.000 And the guy's like, I got you on camera.

01:19:39.000 And he's like, yeah, I'm wearing a camera.

01:19:41.000 I got me on camera.

01:19:42.000 I got me on camera too.

01:19:43.000 Hey, bro, what's that?

01:19:44.000 What's that?

01:19:45.000 What you just threw in here?

01:19:46.000 What's what word?

01:19:47.000 I got you on camera, bro.

01:19:49.000 I got you on camera.

01:19:50.000 We're all good.

01:19:52.000 Hey, bro, you just threw that in here.

01:19:54.000 Yeah.

01:19:56.000 Yeah.

01:19:57.000 If this article doesn't add that in there.

01:20:00.000 It's edited.

01:20:01.000 Fish kid Savo, local rapper from Racine, Wisconsin.

01:20:04.000 I am okay.

01:20:05.000 I'm not locked up.

01:20:06.000 I was detained for a little while, and they talk about investigations.

01:20:09.000 I haven't gotten it.

01:20:10.000 This is my new pet peeve.

01:20:12.000 Why do you have that accent in Wisconsin?

01:20:14.000 Wisconsin is...

01:20:16.000 Hey, how's it going?

01:20:17.000 They sound like Fargo.

01:20:18.000 Hey, the fucking cops threw this in my car.

01:20:21.000 But he's got that yo accent from screens. 0.98

01:20:26.000 Dude, they did not add the body cam.

01:20:30.000 Wow, this is just a half-assed article here.

01:20:33.000 No, no.

01:20:37.000 They don't.

01:20:37.000 But go back to the one.

01:20:38.000 The first article you said refuted it.

01:20:41.000 See, this is the problem even with body cam footage is someone gets a hold of it and they cut out the beginning.

01:20:48.000 I've talked to cops that don't like body cams.

01:20:50.000 They go, oh, it does us more harm than good sometimes.

01:20:55.000 This is a post.

01:20:56.000 Yeah, yeah, but viral video shows.

01:20:58.000 No, no, this is.

01:20:59.000 This is the body cam.

01:21:00.000 Oh, yeah, this is what you want.

01:21:09.000 I got specs of green.

01:21:10.000 You're good at the surgeon.

01:21:11.000 Now, how many people have seen this?

01:21:14.000 And how many people have seen the drugs being thrown in the car?

01:21:19.000 I mean, every fucking time you hear a story's pushing.

01:21:33.000 What's what?

01:21:35.000 What's what were?

01:21:36.000 I got you on camera, buddy.

01:21:38.000 I got you on camera.

01:21:38.000 We're all good.

01:21:40.000 Now this is what part they cut out.

01:21:41.000 Hey, buddy, you just threw that in here.

01:21:43.000 Yeah.

01:21:43.000 Because it was in his pocket, and I don't want to hold on to it.

01:21:46.000 That's on their body cam that they took it off of him.

01:21:52.000 I'm telling you where it came from.

01:21:54.000 It's an empty baggie at the moment, too.

01:21:56.000 So.

01:21:56.000 Okay, buddy.

01:21:58.000 Oh, so it's useless evidence, I guess.

01:22:00.000 Wow.

01:22:00.000 Because whatever they scrape out of that is going to be like a billionth of a gram, and it won't go anywhere in court.

01:22:05.000 So it's just like, fuck this.

01:22:08.000 But let's see the poor innocent man who was murdered just for having a children's toy.

01:22:14.000 Here's the audio from Howard's first 911 call.

01:22:16.000 Phoenix 911, where is your emergency?

01:22:25.000 What is the emergency there?

01:22:27.000 Now!

01:22:28.000 Do you hear me?

01:22:31.000 Do you have an emergency?

01:22:33.000 Officer down.

01:22:34.000 Officer down.

01:22:35.000 Officer down.

01:22:43.000 Officers responded to Howard's residence at about 8.20 p.m.

01:22:46.000 When they made contact with him, he was uncooperative and broke a window, injuring his hand in the process.

01:22:52.000 Here is body-worn camera video from the first police contact that night.

01:22:56.000 Three contacts then.

01:23:02.000 Now this guy's aggressive, and he's already said there's a dead cop.

01:23:07.000 It's not a good combo.

01:23:10.000 It's a phoenix police permit.

01:23:15.000 You become the copy of the colour.

01:23:18.000 And they're saying, fuck you.

01:23:20.000 The odds are getting higher and higher that you're going to get shot.

01:23:25.000 No, I did not.

01:23:27.000 Are you sure?

01:23:28.000 No, I believe you.

01:23:30.000 You're a fucking idiot.

01:23:32.000 You have a fucking way out.

01:23:34.000 I believe in you.

01:23:35.000 I believe this fucking place.

01:23:38.000 Fuck you.

01:23:39.000 Alright, have a good night, sir.

01:23:41.000 Fuck you, Big.

01:23:42.000 Have a good night.

01:23:46.000 So anyway, scroll ahead.

01:23:48.000 So he cut his wrist just then.

01:23:51.000 Right?

01:23:52.000 To offer medical aid for his injured hand.

01:23:54.000 Keep going back.

01:23:54.000 Go to the next visit.

01:23:58.000 Have a good night.

01:23:59.000 Go away.

01:24:00.000 So he does it again.

01:24:01.000 Calls the cop, says he's bleeding.

01:24:03.000 And then he tells him to fuck off and go away.

01:24:05.000 Now, the third time he calls, they go back because he says he cut himself.

01:24:12.000 And he says, I'm going to kill you.

01:24:14.000 I have a gun.

01:24:17.000 On the call or in person though?

01:24:18.000 In person.

01:24:21.000 921B.

01:24:24.000 All right, 92%.

01:24:24.000 Go back to the city.

01:24:26.000 Not back, forward to the house, I mean.

01:24:28.000 At about 9.15 p.m. or CIT.

01:24:30.000 Officers who are CIT spam.

01:24:32.000 Here's the body-worn camera video from the third contact that night.

01:24:39.000 That's fucking brave to stand there.

01:24:41.000 You're right, right.

01:24:48.000 A very aggressive drunk, huh?

01:24:49.000 I'm more of a funny guy when I'm drunk.

01:24:53.000 Although, when I watch footage of me on this show drunk, it doesn't seem very funny.

01:24:57.000 Seems sad and funny.

01:24:59.000 Sad and wandering.

01:25:01.000 Do you need medical attention?

01:25:02.000 You call the fire department.

01:25:04.000 I don't know.

01:25:05.000 Fire department.

01:25:06.000 Oh, I don't know either.

01:25:06.000 Did you call the fire department?

01:25:11.000 Well, the fire department's here.

01:25:13.000 Can they help you?

01:25:14.000 No.

01:25:15.000 They're idiots.

01:25:17.000 Okay, well, why are you calling them then?

01:25:19.000 What?

01:25:20.000 I'm not even calling them.

01:25:22.000 He's on the board.

01:25:28.000 We're just trying to get you some help, family.

01:25:30.000 I have a gun.

01:25:32.000 You have a gun down.

01:25:33.000 I have a gun.

01:25:34.000 What the fuck?

01:25:42.000 So the story is...

01:25:44.000 Cop shoot an innocent man with a silly little space water pistol.

01:25:48.000 The truth is, men commit suicide by cop.

01:25:54.000 And then that brings us to, remember the guy last week?

01:25:58.000 He's covered in facial tattoos.

01:25:59.000 He covers his tattoos with brown makeup to rob a bank.

01:26:03.000 When they're doing the wanted poster, they want him to not look like the guy with tattoos because that's what he's disguised as.

01:26:09.000 If it was me and I had a clown nose on, the wanted poster would include me with a clown nose on.

01:26:16.000 That story becomes cops photoshop a man to make him look more like a suspect.

01:26:23.000 Well, yeah, kinda.

01:26:25.000 But anyone who knows the whole story, and they did get the right guy, he was a serial bank robber.

01:26:29.000 So it worked.

01:26:31.000 But anyone who hears that story, looks it up, gets what I just said, and they see him and they go, oh, I get it.

01:26:36.000 They didn't photoshop him.

01:26:38.000 They just took out the tattoos because that's how he looked when he robbed the place.

01:26:42.000 Right?

01:26:44.000 But the young Turks, and that looks exactly like him, big, huge nostrils. 1.00

01:26:48.000 The young Turks have this new Malcolm X dude. 0.98

01:26:50.000 I believe he's with the Young Turks now.

01:26:53.000 At least that's what one of our baby monsters said.

01:26:58.000 And they're running with the original rumor.

01:27:01.000 So this video I'm about to show you might as well be a guy bitching about cops shooting someone with a water pistol.

01:27:07.000 It's that naive.

01:27:10.000 Decided to manipulate a photo of a black man in order to make him look like a suspect.

01:27:20.000 A Portland judge decided to...

01:27:23.000 It's one thing to hear a rumor and be fooled for a second.

01:27:26.000 It's another thing to have the rumor explained, the myth dispelled, and then go off at a tangent.

01:27:34.000 Bitching about it still.

01:27:35.000 Like, you might as well bitch about hands up, don't shoot right now. 1.00

01:27:38.000 I guess that's what they do.

01:27:40.000 I bet 70% of black people think that Trayvon Martin was just an innocent, sweet boy that went to go get some Skittles.

01:27:46.000 And I bet you 60% of black Americans think that Mike Brown said, hands up, don't shoot.

01:27:52.000 Do they ever take calls?

01:27:54.000 That would be a good streeter, dude.

01:27:56.000 What?

01:27:57.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:27:58.000 Asking black people what happened with Mike Brown.

01:28:01.000 Interesting.

01:28:01.000 Like in Paul's neighborhood in South Jersey, he should do black streeters for us.

01:28:09.000 Why are you saying that?

01:28:11.000 Doesn't sound safe.

01:28:12.000 One time he did a streeter for me, and I got it back, and it was like...

01:28:20.000 And I go, this was kind of a cool idea asking people about aliens, but it's inaudible.

01:28:25.000 And he goes, oh, you can't fix that.

01:28:27.000 New York City is really loud.

01:28:29.000 I'm like, no, I'm not talking about background noise, shithead.

01:28:33.000 I'm talking about the fact that your mic wasn't on.

01:28:38.000 Anyway, let's hit the mailbag.

01:28:45.000 It's coming up.

01:28:46.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:28:51.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:28:56.000 Let me touch it.

01:28:58.000 Let me touch it.

01:29:01.000 Yeah.

01:29:03.000 I want to touch it.

01:29:04.000 I want to touch it, touch it, touch it, touch you.

01:29:07.000 I want to be dirty.

01:29:10.000 That was jazzy.

01:29:13.000 Yo, Gav, saw a comic this morning and almost spit up my coffee when I noticed the resemblance to Sean King.

01:29:20.000 Okay, these are not tagged, right?

01:29:23.000 Okay, gotcha.

01:29:24.000 This was from 11 a.m.

01:29:26.000 And it's called This Morning's Comic.

01:29:29.000 Would you oppress me?

01:29:31.000 I'd oppress me.

01:29:32.000 I'd oppress me hard.

01:29:34.000 Sean King's in shit.

01:29:36.000 I think he's finally losing his hustle.

01:29:38.000 Isn't that supposed to be Sean King?

01:29:41.000 That's that comic.

01:29:42.000 Yeah.

01:29:42.000 The comic man.

01:29:43.000 Yeah, I don't think this went over this moron's head.

01:29:48.000 Well, the illustrator did his job.

01:29:56.000 Possible 9 from 1966.

01:29:59.000 I watched this old game show called What's My Line.

01:30:03.000 And look at this beautiful woman.

01:30:05.000 Jim Goad thinks women were prettier back then.

01:30:07.000 I strongly disagree.

01:30:11.000 Yes.

01:30:12.000 Is it used by all four of us?

01:30:16.000 I would have to be the authority to answer that specifically.

01:30:19.000 And with my understanding of their overall areas of activity, we'll give them a no.

01:30:27.000 It is not used by all four of you.

01:30:29.000 Well, now wait a minute.

01:30:34.000 I guess we better give them a yes.

01:30:35.000 And we better give you a yes.

01:30:37.000 Self-confidence, John.

01:30:39.000 It could be.

01:30:39.000 It could be self-confidence.

01:30:42.000 She is pretty amazingly sculpted.

01:30:44.000 She looks like a cartoon. 0.99

01:30:45.000 Okay, we'll give her a nine. 0.98

01:30:47.000 It's Friday.

01:30:48.000 TGIF.

01:30:49.000 We're generous.

01:30:50.000 We're ready to party.

01:30:56.000 Vote for Teddy. 0.73

01:30:58.000 That was that guy?

01:30:58.000 Oh, Teddy Daniels.

01:30:59.000 We already Showed that commercial.

01:31:00.000 I guess we could have waited, right?

01:31:04.000 Pit bulls.

01:31:05.000 They don't disproportionately attack kids.

01:31:07.000 Dalmatians and poodles are higher up on the aggression list than pit bulls.

01:31:11.000 It's like AR-15s.

01:31:13.000 They look scary, so people want to ban them.

01:31:15.000 You fell for the bullshit.

01:31:18.000 I don't believe you.

01:31:20.000 Do pit bulls, and you know there's going to be a lot of disproportionately attack.

01:31:32.000 I'm just going to say attack.

01:31:35.000 Ow. 0.99

01:31:37.000 Poor husky. 1.00

01:31:39.000 See, there's all kinds of shit like defendpitbulls.com.

01:31:43.000 Hidden reason about pit bulls.

01:31:46.000 Why are pit bulls dangerous?

01:31:48.000 It's the owners.

01:31:48.000 There's so much.

01:31:49.000 This is like when you try to look up if old single women are happy. 1.00

01:31:53.000 You just get article after article written by old single women about how they're just fine. 1.00

01:31:58.000 But like I was saying earlier with Sarah Silverman and Chelsea Handler, if you watch their Instagram feeds, they're doing a lot of like, some people are asking me if I'll never have kids and I won't.

01:32:08.000 And that's a choice I made.

01:32:10.000 And I think post-pandemic, they're going to like family reunions and stuff.

01:32:14.000 And they're seeing all these big happy families with cousins.

01:32:16.000 And I had three kids and now I'm a grandma.

01:32:19.000 And she's like, okay, so you've got quite a group of loving people surrounding you at all times.

01:32:24.000 I make videos where I'm all alone and I talk to my phone about my pronouns.

01:32:32.000 And I'm happy.

01:32:34.000 So yeah, the Pitbull thing's going to take some research.

01:32:36.000 But my hunch is that, yes, Dalmatians and poodles are higher up and no one has a Dalmatian.

01:32:47.000 Dear Gavin, Intergalactic President of Fag Zone, thank you for alluding me to the existence of Viagra Boys as a bigoted, biased Gen Xer. 0.99

01:32:54.000 I really thought that edgy, funny, yet cool music was done.

01:32:58.000 But sports is a great, that is a great album.

01:33:03.000 I mean, song.

01:33:19.000 Baseball.

01:33:23.000 Basketball.

01:33:30.000 I want to get some more tattoos.

01:33:31.000 Dude, let's get some tatts. 1.00

01:33:33.000 I want to get tatted up.

01:33:34.000 I want some mince and tattoo.

01:33:35.000 I'm going to get a nantifa tattoo.

01:33:37.000 A big black crow carrying an A bomb.

01:33:39.000 A bomb with an anarchy on it.

01:33:42.000 Does the stomach hurt as a tattoo?

01:33:44.000 Yes.

01:33:45.000 You have your stomach tattooed, right?

01:33:46.000 Yeah.

01:33:46.000 No, I don't have my stomach tattooed.

01:33:47.000 Really?

01:33:48.000 Nope.

01:33:49.000 Huh.

01:33:50.000 Chest?

01:33:51.000 It all hurts.

01:33:52.000 Chest hurts.

01:33:53.000 I hate anything on the bone.

01:33:54.000 Yeah.

01:33:55.000 Hey, Kweef squad, I want to start by saying that I don't care whether or not somebody gets the vaccine.

01:33:59.000 With that being said, giving in when you feel strong against it is no different than quitting on your country in the Olympics.

01:34:04.000 Giving in to political pressure, despite your personal views, is weak and un-American. 0.60

01:34:09.000 What's next?

01:34:10.000 You can't go to law school if you're a Christian? 1.00

01:34:13.000 I understand that is a wide gap, but the government feeling comfortable exercising political pressure is a slippery slope.

01:34:19.000 The more people that go along with the move, the more they'll take.

01:34:22.000 If we want to get this country back, we need to be strong, stand up, and say, I'm not doing this shit.

01:34:27.000 Just my opinion.

01:34:28.000 Love you more than a friend.

01:34:29.000 Yep, you're right, sir.

01:34:31.000 I was wrong to tell that girl that she should get it if it means getting into law school.

01:34:38.000 That was a mistake.

01:34:40.000 Ayo, she has the sprinkles. 0.87

01:34:42.000 Either one is hilarious and hot.

01:34:44.000 Okay.

01:34:45.000 This is sprinkles, by the way.

01:34:46.000 I jumped a few down.

01:34:50.000 Hi.

01:34:51.000 Did they come back with the numbers?

01:34:53.000 Hi, my name's Amanda, and I'm a girl boss.

01:34:57.000 Oh, hi, Kylie Jenner.

01:34:59.000 What?

01:34:59.000 You need to borrow more money?

01:35:01.000 A lot has changed since you've last seen me.

01:35:03.000 I bought my own skyscraper, started a seminar, and got more money.

01:35:09.000 I used to wake up from my nap as a child and wish I was in an office.

01:35:12.000 And now look at me.

01:35:14.000 I bought my own skyscraper.

01:35:17.000 Same joke twice in 10 seconds.

01:35:20.000 China, talk to me. 0.94

01:35:21.000 You're a girl boss. 1.00

01:35:22.000 You don't have time for traffic.

01:35:24.000 That's why I'm not.

01:35:24.000 So anyway, this is pretty funny, especially for a hot chick.

01:35:29.000 A lot of riffing, but how long is this fucking joke?

01:35:32.000 Check the length of this.

01:35:35.000 Five minutes.

01:35:36.000 Five minutes of girl boss. 0.95

01:35:38.000 This is part two.

01:35:40.000 Jesus H. So we get it, and you did a good job, but it just goes on and on and on.

01:35:47.000 She's the inventor of TB coin. 1.00

01:35:48.000 No sprinkles there, I'm afraid.

01:35:51.000 And then the second one.

01:35:53.000 No, we're good.

01:35:54.000 We're good.

01:35:57.000 Greetings.

01:35:58.000 First of all, there's no better...

01:35:59.000 This is death of cool.

01:36:00.000 There's no better entertainment available than your content.

01:36:02.000 Your show provides everything, politics, music, and humor.

01:36:05.000 I constantly laugh out loud and sometimes laugh so damn hard that the beginning sounds like the cry moms do at weddings. 0.62

01:36:10.000 What the cry moms do at weddings. 1.00

01:36:13.000 Or when they drop a kid off at college.

01:36:15.000 Kind of like a gasp.

01:36:16.000 So thank you for that.

01:36:17.000 Although I have not read your book, the sentiment is spot on.

01:36:20.000 I grew up in the 90s doing nothing but listening to music and going to shows.

01:36:22.000 We had to judge albums by the cover and risk good money on the hopes.

01:36:25.000 So he's talking about my book that he hasn't read and saying he agrees with it.

01:36:29.000 And he's saying we used to work hard to be cool and now the kids can just sit on their ass and look on their phones for all the pop culture things.

01:36:36.000 That's not the point of the book at all, sir.

01:36:39.000 The death of cool is about your life and how you have your cool phase where you're into like partying and chicks and stuff.

01:36:45.000 Then you cease to be cool, propose, get married and have kids.

01:36:50.000 Now there's a new chapter.

01:36:52.000 And what I'm saying is they're both awesome, but you got to grow up, get a ring on it, be a man and say, all right, that was fun, kooky days, played a lot of video games, goodbye.

01:37:03.000 Now I'm being a dad starting a life.

01:37:06.000 He judged the book by its cover.

01:37:08.000 He really did.

01:37:08.000 He surmised the entire synopsis.

01:37:11.000 And no, I'm not one of those people that say, my cool was better than your cool.

01:37:17.000 Dearest Gavin Lil Rygai, I ended up popping out like five kids because I couldn't handle the emotional side effects of hormonal birth control.

01:37:25.000 That's a great story.

01:37:27.000 The cops crying on television remind me of the two months I actually tried to take birth control pills with the soap opera tears.

01:37:33.000 Yeah.

01:37:35.000 From now on, camera people, when someone is crying, like the mayor who was doing the jiggling to George Floyd, or the guy who said, boo, nigger, or Van Jones, a lot of people can wake up.

01:37:49.000 He's drying the.

01:37:50.000 You know the I can't breathe.

01:37:52.000 You know the I can't breathe.

01:37:53.000 You remember that?

01:37:54.000 You need to zoom in on those tears.

01:37:56.000 We need to see them.

01:38:00.000 What is going on at these meandering hearings?

01:38:03.000 Did those creeps agree to eat estrogen for the week preceding the inquiry for full dramatic effect?

01:38:08.000 Did someone slip mare urine into their iced teas at lunch?

01:38:12.000 I didn't know mare urine makes you cry.

01:38:15.000 Aren't your cop friends shaking their heads right now as their asshole cop image gets dragged through the mud?

01:38:21.000 I think a lot of cops see the Capitol Police as not real cops.

01:38:25.000 But yeah, it's embarrassing.

01:38:27.000 And a lot of people assume cops are a monolith.

01:38:29.000 When all of that fucking with people for COVID and shutting down gyms is going on by cops, cops were mad.

01:38:37.000 They go, what are our fucking fellow cops doing?

01:38:40.000 They're giving us a bad name and they're trampling people's rights.

01:38:43.000 I want confirmation that these are real cops with families and dignity.

01:38:47.000 The suits look far too oversized and puffy.

01:38:50.000 The material for the crying cop uniform looks like a costume.

01:38:53.000 They don't even fit properly.

01:38:54.000 It's not real.

01:38:56.000 That's a theory.

01:38:57.000 I mean, dude, I thought that as soon as I saw this.

01:39:00.000 As soon as I saw this like days ago.

01:39:02.000 Like, what the fuck kind of fucking...

01:39:04.000 What the fuck can...

01:39:05.000 It looks weird.

01:39:06.000 Just as weird as that guy's hair.

01:39:07.000 Oh, we talked about his hair before.

01:39:08.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:10.000 Fucking.

01:39:11.000 He has the worst hair in the White House.

01:39:16.000 And I looked him up online.

01:39:17.000 He's always had the shittiest, like, Jew just got out of the shower hair. 1.00

01:39:23.000 It looks like he just got done cooking for three hours with Ratatouille under his chef's hat.

01:39:31.000 Hey, Rygai and Gavin, I have a very important question.

01:39:34.000 I need your takes on it to settle a very violent debate I'm having.

01:39:37.000 Do teenage moms count as MILFs? 1.00

01:39:39.000 No.

01:39:40.000 On one hand, they're technically mothers. 0.98

01:39:41.000 It can be very sexually appealing.

01:39:42.000 I'm 19, so no pedo.

01:39:44.000 But on the other hand, the idea of MILF implies maturity.

01:39:46.000 Yes, of course it does.

01:39:48.000 MILF is based on the average mom. 0.80

01:39:51.000 The average mom you see is, especially these days, is 30 to 50.

01:39:57.000 So a MILF, like think about if someone was Googling MILF porn and they saw a 17-year-old, they'd go, what the fuck? 0.88

01:40:04.000 This is a gip.

01:40:06.000 I remember reading once that the two biggest words that are Googled for porn are MILF and barely legal.

01:40:12.000 And it was like, these guys are either disgusting perverts who are old women or their fucking pedophiles.

01:40:18.000 But what that really says is young men are probably looking at barely legal because that's the kind of shit they're into.

01:40:23.000 And then dads like me are probably looking at MILF because that's the kind of women they fuck. 1.00

01:40:29.000 How do you know when to fight and when to avoid the situation?

01:40:32.000 If you're out with your girl and a crazy homeless person is yelling at you, do you confront them ready to fight and potentially get stabbed by a crack addict when you could just have walked away?

01:40:40.000 Seems retarded. 1.00

01:40:41.000 That's obviously the extreme end of the spectrum.

01:40:44.000 At what point are you a pussy for walking away? 0.99

01:40:46.000 The thing about fighting you have to understand is you punch a guy, he falls, hits his head on the edge of a pot, a steel potholder, bleeds out, gets a concussion, whatever, dies.

01:40:56.000 Now you're going to jail for murder.

01:40:58.000 You should avoid fights at all costs.

01:41:01.000 And if you need to punch because of words, you're a pussy. 1.00

01:41:05.000 Yeah, and is that guy worth it?

01:41:06.000 Like you're going to go to jail or get hurt for this fucking guy?

01:41:09.000 No.

01:41:10.000 Now, I know if someone insults your wife, your wife's a whore. 1.00

01:41:14.000 Or you're with your mom and they go, your mother's a whore. 1.00

01:41:16.000 Now we're getting there.

01:41:17.000 It's hard to.

01:41:18.000 That's a tough one, but if you're witty, you should be able to come back with more.

01:41:22.000 Like, your mother didn't seem like a whore when I was fucking her last night. 1.00

01:41:28.000 She seemed like she loved me.

01:41:29.000 Is she that good at it? 0.99

01:41:31.000 Is she that good at it, if you will, that she can make every single guy think that he's the one? 1.00

01:41:37.000 She's talented at fucking. 1.00

01:41:39.000 She must have been doing this for a long time.

01:41:40.000 Then you see you're coming back with it, with his mom.

01:41:43.000 Now, the second there's any kind of actual violence, then you respond with violence.

01:41:47.000 And that's all written out in the law.

01:41:50.000 Now, what about you see four black dudes on the train, and they're calling some old Chinese lady a chink.

01:41:58.000 You got it.

01:41:59.000 I had that exact thing happen to me.

01:42:01.000 What did you do?

01:42:01.000 They didn't call her a chink, but it was like four to five.

01:42:05.000 I think it was four black kids.

01:42:06.000 This was July 4th, two years ago, I think.

01:42:10.000 And so we're on the train, and the lady was waiting to get off the train by the doors. 0.99

01:42:13.000 The doors open, and they pushed through her.

01:42:15.000 Like, they all just pushed through her.

01:42:17.000 And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:42:18.000 And I had my headphones in.

01:42:19.000 Like my headphones out.

01:42:20.000 Never have your headphones on the city.

01:42:22.000 That's annoying.

01:42:22.000 With my back to a thing.

01:42:25.000 There's no headphones in Manhattan.

01:42:26.000 But this was, here's the thing.

01:42:28.000 It was on the train, it was packed.

01:42:30.000 We're all waiting for a train that wasn't packed.

01:42:32.000 So, I mean, there's people everywhere, but these shameless kids do that. 0.99

01:42:36.000 So you're pretty safe.

01:42:37.000 You're surrounded by all family type people.

01:42:39.000 Nobody said anything to these kids.

01:42:41.000 And I was shocked.

01:42:42.000 I was looking around.

01:42:43.000 I was like, yeah, people would just let this happen.

01:42:46.000 But I don't know.

01:42:47.000 I was like, not me.

01:42:48.000 I'm sick of this.

01:42:49.000 The absolute worst case scenario is like a young Asian girl and these four or five black teenagers who don't know repercussions. 1.00

01:42:56.000 So stabbing you is nothing.

01:42:58.000 It's like stabbing a fish.

01:43:01.000 So you might get, it's looking like you're going to get stabbed.

01:43:03.000 So you have to go over there and go, guys, guys, guys, relax.

01:43:07.000 Leave her alone. 1.00

01:43:08.000 Now they're going to come over to you.

01:43:09.000 But you have to do that.

01:43:11.000 Because the other option is you sit here, maybe they slap around, maybe they start raping you, and you're just sitting there going, that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

01:43:21.000 What if you do something weird?

01:43:22.000 Like you're like, yeah, kill that bitch. 1.00

01:43:24.000 And then you keep just like distracting them.

01:43:26.000 They're like, hold on a sec.

01:43:28.000 Like the Joker on the subway.

01:43:29.000 Can I rape her after you? 1.00

01:43:31.000 Yeah, and then they're just like, you just take all the fun out of it for them.

01:43:34.000 Yeah, that's not going to work.

01:43:36.000 But so those are the gray areas.

01:43:39.000 No, there's no gray area with the Asian girl and those black guys. 1.00

01:43:42.000 But the gray areas are, of course, people verbally assaulting your mom or girlfriend or wife.

01:43:49.000 But I would start doing my best with, you know, coming back at them with other words.

01:43:55.000 But yeah, I think Every Man's Worst Nightmare is a gang of stupid teens Who don't know ramifications accosting someone, and you're like, Well, I'm either stabbed or I have nightmares about what a pussy I am for the rest of my fucking life.

01:44:08.000 I have another one while we're on this topic: lie and say there are police in the next car.

01:44:12.000 Be like, guys, guys, there's police right in the next car.

01:44:14.000 Cut that shit out.

01:44:16.000 I'm looking out for you.

01:44:17.000 I'm team raped that bitch, but there's cops right there. 1.00

01:44:20.000 Yeah, that's pretty good.

01:44:21.000 Yeah.

01:44:21.000 Or one time I pretended I was a cop and the kids just laughed in my face.

01:44:25.000 Right.

01:44:26.000 But if you pretend there's a couple cops, like there's cops right down there, dude.

01:44:30.000 I'm just saying.

01:44:30.000 Do you remember that story?

01:44:31.000 We were doing streeters, and we had a camera equipment and all that stuff.

01:44:34.000 And I got surrounded by like 15, 12-year-old, 13-year-old black kids.

01:44:38.000 And they go, yo, what you doing?

01:44:39.000 What's this for?

01:44:40.000 That's a nice camera.

01:44:41.000 And I go, guys, you don't want to fuck with this.

01:44:43.000 This CRTV cops review television.

01:44:46.000 Or the police.

01:44:47.000 That was pretty quick.

01:44:48.000 And they go, what you fixing to do, nigga? 1.00

01:44:51.000 And I'm like, so the cop thing, that's not throwing you off?

01:44:56.000 That's not bumming you out?

01:44:58.000 What if I show you my badge?

01:45:00.000 And then you have a fake badge?

01:45:01.000 Like, we still don't care about cops.

01:45:03.000 Put the badge up your ass.

01:45:04.000 We throw water on you, motherfucking bitches. 1.00

01:45:08.000 So in a way, de Blasio de-clawing the police has made all of us vulnerable because now we can't even lie and say we're cops anymore.

01:45:17.000 Okay, here we go.

01:45:18.000 Last one.

01:45:19.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:45:19.000 I'm Rygai.

01:45:20.000 I have a theory as to why some women are so obsessed with every possible sin of America's history. 1.00

01:45:24.000 It's because it's gossip.

01:45:26.000 More specifically, it's the type of gossip that women love. 0.99

01:45:30.000 Women aren't that interested in gossip about a person that everyone knows is a piece of shit loser, but they'd kill to know the dirty little secret about the person everyone respects and admires. 1.00

01:45:39.000 The same way housewives in the 50s might have said, you know that perfect new couple down the street? 1.00

01:45:45.000 Well, I happen to know he's banging his secretary.

01:45:48.000 Woke women instead say, you know that amazingly prosperous and free country, America? 1.00

01:45:52.000 Well, I happen to know a dirty little secret that they had slaves.

01:45:56.000 Check out this young female teacher talking about the evils of America. 1.00

01:46:00.000 Notice the lack, sorry, notice the look of absolute glee on her face while saying America is a racist country. 0.99

01:46:06.000 It's the exact expression she'd make while spreading a nasty rumor about the popular girl. 0.99

01:46:12.000 That everything is true.

01:46:19.000 See, when I read that, everything is true.

01:46:26.000 She loves it.

01:46:27.000 That's so poignant and true.

01:46:29.000 And what's with her verbiage?

01:46:31.000 She's a teacher? 0.99

01:46:33.000 You mean when I read that, I realize, or I can't help but notice everything is true.

01:46:39.000 But.

01:46:40.000 See, when I read that, everything is true.

01:46:45.000 That's such an ugly sentence.

01:46:47.000 Yeah.

01:46:47.000 So when I read that, I realize everything is true.

01:46:50.000 And then she tries to like condescend her whole, be condescending to her whole, I know reading is hard.

01:46:56.000 Yeah.

01:46:56.000 Well, you don't know reading is hard because you can't speak.

01:47:00.000 When I read that, everything is true.

01:47:03.000 That's not a sentence.

01:47:04.000 That's gross.

01:47:06.000 All right, folks, let's go to the final video.

01:47:28.000 This is amazing.

01:47:31.000 I would rather start with a video like, ladies and gentlemen, the weekend.

01:47:34.000 Make a fun TGIF thing.

01:47:36.000 Hope you enjoy yourselves tonight.

01:47:38.000 Hope you go out and don't get too wasted.

01:47:40.000 Here's my advice for going out tonight.

01:47:42.000 Don't do bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, burbur, bourbon, bourbon.

01:47:46.000 Bourbon is a reward.

01:47:47.000 Also, it takes a while for it to go through your system.

01:47:50.000 So you'll be like, I'm pretty sober.

01:47:52.000 I think I could have another one.

01:47:53.000 And then you'll have it.

01:47:54.000 And it's sort of like those people who take acid and they go, it didn't work, didn't hit me.

01:47:57.000 And then they take another hit and then two hits hit them.

01:47:59.000 I would say bourbon can take up to half an hour to really understand how much you've had.

01:48:05.000 So go like this.

01:48:06.000 Bourbon is a reward I get for drinking two beers.

01:48:10.000 The beers anchor you, they hydrate you.

01:48:12.000 They keep you safe at night.

01:48:14.000 So you go beer, beer, bourbon.

01:48:16.000 And then if that bourbon was delicious, oh, I'm glad you liked it.

01:48:20.000 Let's have, if you would like another one.

01:48:22.000 Uh-oh, my daughter's on the line.

01:48:24.000 Hello?

01:48:41.000 All right.

01:48:43.000 So yeah, you have to take the beers and see if you deserve the fucking comments.

01:48:53.000 The bird would just.

01:48:55.000 Oh.

01:48:57.000 There's nothing to do with this, I'm sure.

01:48:59.000 Is there a bald eagle in this at all?

01:49:00.000 No.

01:49:01.000 Okay.

01:49:01.000 What are some of the other comments?

01:49:03.000 So far, there's just those.

01:49:05.000 Oh, man.

01:49:09.000 So wait a minute.

01:49:10.000 Stop, stop, stop.

01:49:11.000 So you, yeah, you have your buzz, and if you enjoyed that bourbon, that's great.

01:49:15.000 But now you have to earn your next bourbon with two beers.

01:49:18.000 And then you won't be hungover the next day.

01:49:20.000 The more beer you have, the less hungover you'll be the next day.

01:49:23.000 And you don't want to destroy your Saturday, do you?

01:49:26.000 Anyway, besides that, have some fun and stick to beer as much as possible and take it easy on the shots.

01:49:31.000 And don't do Coke.

01:49:33.000 You know, you have a weekend.

01:49:34.000 You don't want to destroy one entire day.

01:49:36.000 Just to make Friday like 14% funner, you totally obliterate Saturday.

01:49:42.000 Take it down a notch.

01:49:43.000 Have a normal Friday night where you remember going to bed.

01:49:47.000 And then your Saturday will be awesome too.

01:49:49.000 Make plans.

01:49:51.000 Plans that make you get up early.

01:49:53.000 All right, so this is a guy getting arrested.

01:49:55.000 He decides he's going to make a run for it and doesn't check the traffic first.

01:50:00.000 And this guy should get into boxing because he's got an iron jaw.

01:50:08.000 Oh, no.

01:50:08.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

01:50:12.000 I'm fine.

01:50:13.000 I'm fine.

01:50:21.000 God.

01:50:22.000 Oh, my fucking God.

01:50:24.000 Alan.

01:50:25.000 Alan!

01:50:26.000 For fuck's sake, Alan.

01:50:29.000 Look, where'd your shoe go?

01:50:30.000 It's alright.

01:50:32.000 It's still in the air.

01:50:34.000 It's going to be landing in the next 10 minutes, probably.

01:50:37.000 That's you if you go bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon.

01:50:40.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:41.000 Wow.

01:50:43.000 Wow, that shoe went.

01:50:44.000 You saw it land?

01:50:45.000 No.

01:50:46.000 Yeah, it goes like this.

01:50:47.000 It goes lines up on.

01:50:51.000 Oh, you can't see my mouse.

01:50:54.000 Let's watch the first one.

01:51:03.000 Okay, let's watch it one last time.

01:51:06.000 18 million are going fast.

01:51:07.000 I'm good.

01:51:09.000 Oh, no, I'm not good.

01:51:10.000 Whoa.

01:51:11.000 Excellent drive by Nicholas in there.

01:51:14.000 Comes down and right down the fairway.

01:51:16.000 Jesus, dude.

01:51:17.000 And by the way, if you're running, run into the woods.

01:51:23.000 Have fun this weekend, guys.

01:51:24.000 That's the most important thing.

01:51:25.000 We've got a lot of work to do starting Monday.

01:51:28.000 We've got to save this country from itself.

01:51:30.000 We've got to fight the socialism that's already bled into every facet of our economy, of our culture, of our government, of our schools.

01:51:39.000 We've got a big mess to clean up, but the good news is that their leader is falling apart.

01:51:44.000 And soon we'll be able to pick up the pieces without Mr. Magoo driving everyone off a fucking cliff.

01:51:50.000 And in the interim, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:52:08.000 I wanna live the heartbeat of my fleet, and breathe the life in a mouse be. 0.51

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 30, 2021

S04E15 - BABY MONSTERS

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