Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E15 - FROM THE MAILBAG 1

00:00:22.000 Hello folks, welcome to a special edition of Get On My Lawn.

00:00:25.000 This is from the mailbag, banked summer shows.

00:00:29.000 We don't want to leave you empty-handed during the summer weeks, days, heat waves, even if we're away.

00:00:37.000 We have our co-host here, Mr. Matty O'Dell.

00:00:42.000 He'll be helping us parse through these various letters.

00:00:45.000 As you know, we always get more letters than we can deal with.

00:00:49.000 So during these holiday episodes, we thought it'd be great to catch up.

00:00:55.000 So let's just dive right into it, shall we?

00:00:58.000 Should we even have the mailbag song?

00:01:00.000 We could, if you'd like.

00:01:04.000 Why not?

00:01:05.000 Okay, let's try it.

00:01:18.000 This is from Jason S. You don't have to have the camera on Maddie at all times, Ryan.

00:01:25.000 Okay.

00:01:27.000 And Maddie, you don't have to say anything if you don't have anything to say.

00:01:30.000 Obviously.

00:01:35.000 Fagenkrantz and Gavin Stern.

00:01:38.000 Where did the computer go?

00:01:39.000 I missed the random questions you would sling at it.

00:01:41.000 It's fun watching Ryan trying to beat it to the punch because it's like watching the Special Olympics.

00:01:46.000 Yeah, what did happen to our Alexa?

00:01:48.000 We have it.

00:01:49.000 We just didn't.

00:01:50.000 We stopped trusting it.

00:01:51.000 Remember, we thought we were like, this thing's listening to us all the time and it's not worth getting shitty information.

00:01:58.000 Huh.

00:01:58.000 But we could reinstitute it right now if you'd like.

00:02:01.000 I think you just have to hook it up to the Wi-Fi.

00:02:04.000 Yeah.

00:02:04.000 Let's do that later.

00:02:06.000 Cool.

00:02:06.000 I like it.

00:02:07.000 I know it's spying on me, but I'm not planning another meandering on January 6th, so I have it in the house all the time.

00:02:14.000 It's good, like, what's the population of Australia type of stuff.

00:02:20.000 Plus, with little kids, they're always asking questions you don't know the answer to.

00:02:24.000 Like, what the fuck did my son ask me the other day?

00:02:27.000 What's the deepest part of the ocean?

00:02:28.000 I don't fucking know.

00:02:30.000 I looked it up.

00:02:31.000 It's seven miles.

00:02:32.000 But we don't know.

00:02:39.000 He also said the other day, he said, dogs' hearts are better than ours.

00:02:42.000 They would need two heart attacks to die.

00:02:45.000 What?

00:02:46.000 Does that mean dogs have two hearts?

00:02:50.000 This one's from Jason, oops, almost said his name.

00:02:55.000 It's happening, he says, and he shows me a letter from the Secretary of Veterans Affairs.

00:03:01.000 Dear veteran, thank you for your service to our nation.

00:03:03.000 Your commitment to our country's long legacy of service has protected us, and our nation owes you a debt of gratitude we can never repay.

00:03:11.000 That sounds nice.

00:03:13.000 Thanks, government.

00:03:14.000 Thanks for noticing.

00:03:16.000 We must once again ask you to volunteer to serve.

00:03:18.000 Uh-oh.

00:03:19.000 COVID-19 has affected all of us in unique ways.

00:03:21.000 We have lost far too many former brothers and sisters in arms, family members and friends.

00:03:25.000 It's time for this pandemic to be over, and I ask for your help in protecting this nation and completing the last part of this journey.

00:03:30.000 Our greatest hope in defeating this deadly virus is for each of us to get vaccinated as soon as possible.

00:03:35.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:03:36.000 Vaccination is essential. 0.97

00:03:38.000 Here's a brochure.

00:03:40.000 If you can do it.

00:03:41.000 That wasn't such a juicy letter.

00:03:43.000 I should have screened that first.

00:03:48.000 This guy is telling us sucking on a chili dog.

00:03:50.000 I bet it's the same fucking video we already played.

00:03:53.000 Oh, no, it's not.

00:03:54.000 Oh, that's exciting.

00:03:56.000 Dude, that's my type right there.

00:03:59.000 Hold on a second.

00:04:00.000 Maddie, what is your type?

00:04:04.000 Me?

00:04:04.000 Yeah.

00:04:05.000 What, women? 1.00

00:04:06.000 Yeah.

00:04:06.000 Oh, men.

00:04:07.000 Look at her.

00:04:07.000 We can do men.

00:04:08.000 Yeah, no, no.

00:04:10.000 I'm into women. 1.00

00:04:10.000 Thanks. 1.00

00:04:13.000 Yeah, that's not bad.

00:04:16.000 I mean, I've been married to a blonde, but I don't like brunettes. 1.00

00:04:22.000 Maybe that didn't work out because you're a brunette type of guy. 1.00

00:04:25.000 Maybe.

00:04:26.000 Who knows?

00:04:27.000 Her hair is really weird, too.

00:04:29.000 It's like two hairdos at the same time.

00:04:32.000 Yeah, it's like almost a bob or something.

00:04:35.000 She's got a bob and long hair.

00:04:39.000 I like Jews, American Indians, Italians, Chings. 0.65

00:04:47.000 Go back to the beginning.

00:04:50.000 Oh, this is a chick who watches the show. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Yeah.

00:04:53.000 Oh, my God.

00:04:53.000 That's the best thing about being a man.

00:04:55.000 When your wife dies, like in a plane crash or something, you're like, I'm sad.

00:05:00.000 And the kids are going to be fucked up.

00:05:02.000 But this would be one of the first calls I make after my wife dies.

00:05:08.000 She's in Razor Night.

00:05:11.000 Hi, Diana Depp.

00:05:12.000 Man, this is Gavin.

00:05:12.000 I understand you watch the show.

00:05:14.000 I am single.

00:05:15.000 And I'm mourning.

00:05:16.000 Diana Depp.

00:05:17.000 She's going to be like, uh...

00:05:20.000 Is this because your wife died?

00:05:21.000 Yeah.

00:05:21.000 How old are you?

00:05:22.000 Well, I'm 79.

00:05:23.000 It's the year 2042.

00:05:26.000 Yeah, I'm fucking 60.

00:05:27.000 I'm not interested.

00:05:28.000 I'm not horny anymore.

00:05:29.000 Alrighty.

00:05:30.000 I did not know she was going to die of old age.

00:05:32.000 I was hoping it would be a plane crash.

00:05:54.000 Yeah, I think if my wife looked down from heaven and saw this is the next one I did, I think she'd be pretty happy.

00:06:00.000 You know, you don't want it to be like, who's that famous Asian chick that was on H3H and she has like 9 billion followers?

00:06:10.000 She's half Asian, Filipina. 0.74

00:06:12.000 She was abused as a kid and she looks like a 10-year-old.

00:06:16.000 Oh, right.

00:06:16.000 And she does these TikToks where she's like, oops, I'm a baby.

00:06:22.000 Oh, what did I do?

00:06:24.000 And there's all these fucking millennials just, oh, I want to be a pedophile, but it's illegal. 0.99

00:06:30.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:06:31.000 That would disappoint your wife. 0.82

00:06:32.000 Bella? 0.51

00:06:33.000 No.

00:06:34.000 Here we go, buddy.

00:06:36.000 10, top 10 most like TikTok videos of all time.

00:06:40.000 Oh, yeah, she's the number one, I think.

00:06:42.000 And all she does is go boop, beep, bop. 1.00

00:06:45.000 Where is the distance?

00:06:46.000 There she is.

00:06:47.000 That's her. 0.88

00:06:50.000 That's the number one TikTok video of all time.

00:06:59.000 I don't get it.

00:07:00.000 It's pedophiles.

00:07:02.000 Annie Mae video games has turned this new generation of men into pedophiles.

00:07:07.000 They want to fuck children. 1.00

00:07:12.000 You know what that's proof of?

00:07:13.000 They're virgins. 0.97

00:07:15.000 Because any of us who were laid when we were young teens, it sucked.

00:07:22.000 Who was your first lay, Maddie?

00:07:24.000 A girl I went to high school with, Tammy.

00:07:27.000 How old were you?

00:07:29.000 15.

00:07:30.000 Oh, that's pretty late for a tough kid.

00:07:34.000 You tough guys usually lose it like 13 to your babysitter.

00:07:38.000 That was my cousin.

00:07:42.000 Were you kind of late in your scene?

00:07:45.000 No.

00:07:47.000 Because I was 17 and I was the laughingstock.

00:07:51.000 17?

00:07:51.000 Yeah.

00:07:53.000 No, 15.

00:07:54.000 And what was it like?

00:07:57.000 You know, a little awkward.

00:08:00.000 Nothing to write home about.

00:08:02.000 See, that's what I don't get about this glorification of fucking teens.

00:08:05.000 You fucked teens when you were a teen. 1.00

00:08:08.000 And it sucked.

00:08:09.000 Yeah.

00:08:10.000 I'll tell you what.

00:08:11.000 There was a girl that I had gone to junior high school with and high school with.

00:08:18.000 And it wasn't until maybe 2007 or 2008 I ended up hooking up with her.

00:08:26.000 And it's better when they're in there like, I think at the time she's probably in 2006, in my late 30s.

00:08:39.000 Like once they're comfortable with their body, they're not self-conscious and they know what they like.

00:08:44.000 Yes.

00:08:45.000 It's a way better ride.

00:08:47.000 Way better ride.

00:08:48.000 Yes.

00:08:49.000 Yeah.

00:08:50.000 I think 30 is a peak.

00:08:51.000 Obviously cultures are different, different parts of the world, but in Canada, in the 80s, when I was a teenager, girls were not into it. 1.00

00:09:02.000 They wanted to make out for six hours, which you do and you have red all over here like a rash.

00:09:09.000 And they have skin.

00:09:10.000 In the 80s, the girls would need a coat hanger to pull up their pants. 1.00

00:09:13.000 So to get your hand down there, it was like sliding your hand into a wall.

00:09:18.000 So you get down there, you're trying to feel, you might get pubes, you're probably not going to get pussy lips. 0.98

00:09:23.000 I should have actually gone around the back now that I know.

00:09:26.000 Yeah, down around.

00:09:28.000 Yeah.

00:09:28.000 It's basically where the asshole is.

00:09:30.000 The reach around.

00:09:33.000 And then you get to college.

00:09:35.000 Now, I think it's different with kids today, but back when I was in college, they were not climbing up the walls looking for cock.

00:09:42.000 They were like accepting a dick from behind and sort of like, ah, ah, ah.

00:09:48.000 And then now we're up to like 23 years of age.

00:09:53.000 Now they're starting to get into it, but not crazy, not experienced, but like, I enjoy this, let's do this.

00:10:01.000 And then it was only until 25 and up where they started wanting the cock. 0.60

00:10:07.000 Yeah.

00:10:08.000 And it was fun.

00:10:10.000 But from fucking 14 to 20, 10 years, 15 to 25, was just like, it wasn't fun.

00:10:18.000 It's a lot of negotiating.

00:10:20.000 Yeah.

00:10:21.000 Like I said, most young women are very self-conscious.

00:10:26.000 Yeah.

00:10:27.000 I remember this chick Tammy I went out with. 0.98

00:10:30.000 I showed her my dick or something.

00:10:32.000 We were dating.

00:10:33.000 And she goes, well, I guess if you show me that, I can show you these.

00:10:36.000 I was like, yeah, yeah, let's see them.

00:10:37.000 I've never seen them.

00:10:38.000 And she goes like this.

00:10:40.000 Dude, two ferret heads.

00:10:44.000 The saddest banana tits you've ever seen.

00:10:48.000 And I had seen porno mags.

00:10:50.000 I knew they weren't supposed to be that bad.

00:10:52.000 And I was just like, all right, okay, let's put those back in.

00:10:56.000 And thank you very much, by the way, letting me see them.

00:10:58.000 And I'm a huge fan.

00:11:00.000 Those were great.

00:11:01.000 But if you don't want to pull them out, we can do sex with the t-shirts.

00:11:05.000 Yeah.

00:11:06.000 T-shirt on.

00:11:08.000 Put your fucking t-shirt on, bitch. 1.00

00:11:11.000 All right, now I'm jumping down a bit here.

00:11:16.000 You do know a woman beater, says this guy.

00:11:19.000 Hey, Gav, you claim to not have any examples in your life of a man hitting a woman for no reason.

00:11:24.000 Did you forget about the time you went to jail for allegedly headbutting a guy who slapped a mouthy bitch? 1.00

00:11:31.000 Once again, wrong.

00:11:33.000 When I was talking about woman beaters, I was talking about the archetype of the like, where the fuck's my dinner? 1.00

00:11:40.000 Hey, you stupid bitch. 1.00

00:11:42.000 The one that's in the movies where the guy's in Brooklyn and he has a wife beater on.

00:11:46.000 He's always Italian. 0.99

00:11:47.000 He's got black hair slicked back like mine.

00:11:50.000 He's a drunk like fucking Robert De Niro in Raging Bull.

00:11:55.000 That archetype, I've personally never come across.

00:11:58.000 Have you, Maddie?

00:12:00.000 Someone that just beats women just because not. 1.00

00:12:02.000 Just because her dinner's late or she's getting lippy. 0.98

00:12:05.000 We hear about it all the time.

00:12:07.000 We get accused of being that way.

00:12:09.000 Anthony Kumia has to go to fucking anger management and rehab because he's accused of being that.

00:12:15.000 But I obviously wouldn't be friends with anyone like that.

00:12:20.000 I'd go, dude, what the fuck was that?

00:12:22.000 Because obviously that person's a psycho.

00:12:25.000 He obviously also kicks dogs and like shoves kids.

00:12:29.000 You're not a good person, obviously.

00:12:31.000 So in this case, we had a girl at our store, Sarah Brania, Filipina, little tiny girl. 0.54

00:12:40.000 I could pick her up and throw her across the room. 1.00

00:12:42.000 She's probably, my daughter, my 13-year-old daughter is probably, 14, sorry, is probably way bigger than her. 0.69

00:12:49.000 And my daughter's tiny.

00:12:52.000 So she, at our behest advice, fired this douche who had a man bun and flip-flops And sold weed at our store. 0.94

00:13:02.000 She fired him because he kept not showing up for work.

00:13:05.000 And he lost his shit because he was fired and he was so spoiled.

00:13:09.000 His parents paid his rent.

00:13:11.000 He didn't really need money because he was.

00:13:14.000 Are you going to blow Maddie, Ryan?

00:13:16.000 Not today.

00:13:17.000 He's in the crotch region. 0.69

00:13:20.000 The crotch region of Antarctic.

00:13:23.000 Just going to give Maddie a quick beach, just relax him.

00:13:25.000 Yeah.

00:13:27.000 Looked a little stressed.

00:13:30.000 Full hospitality.

00:13:32.000 Full service shop here.

00:13:33.000 We do everything top to bottom.

00:13:34.000 Would you like a body work my Asian to blow you? 1.00

00:13:37.000 Would you like a happy beginning?

00:13:40.000 I knew this guy who was doing business in China, and he came back to his hotel room, and there was a woman on his bed.

00:13:46.000 He goes, what the fuck are you doing?

00:13:48.000 This is my room.

00:13:48.000 And she's like, oh, he got me to stay here.

00:13:52.000 You want sex? 0.95

00:13:54.000 He's like, no, get the fuck out of here.

00:13:57.000 So he tells her, he goes, what did you do?

00:13:58.000 You had some young woman in my bed? 1.00

00:14:01.000 They go, oh, you don't like that?

00:14:02.000 He goes, no, don't fucking do that.

00:14:06.000 Not that I don't think any of us would be objecting that much if it happened to us.

00:14:10.000 We'll see what we can do.

00:14:11.000 I don't know how many men would have done that, but.

00:14:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:14.000 Well, this is his version of the story.

00:14:16.000 Although, this backs it up.

00:14:18.000 So he comes down to his hotel room the next night.

00:14:20.000 Guess what's there that time?

00:14:23.000 Nothing.

00:14:24.000 A handsome young man.

00:14:26.000 Ooh.

00:14:26.000 In a leather jacket, ready to rock.

00:14:29.000 He's like, no, no, no, it's not the type of prostitute that was my problem.

00:14:36.000 And then day three, a dog.

00:14:38.000 Day four, a goat.

00:14:40.000 A watermelon with warm water in it.

00:14:43.000 He's just not a fan of gratuitous sex.

00:14:45.000 Wait, I forgot what I was talking about before.

00:14:48.000 Oh, the fire demand bun with flip-flops.

00:14:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:53.000 So he swatted her. 1.00

00:14:55.000 An open-handed slap that was probably more shocking than painful.

00:15:00.000 It's not like she had a black eye, but she's probably never been hit by a man before.

00:15:04.000 So we went to his apartment and kicked his ass very briefly.

00:15:08.000 That's not what I was talking about.

00:15:10.000 That's a lunatic, pothead, fuckhead, spoiled brat who slapped a woman and got his comeuppance. 0.73

00:15:17.000 That's not the where's my dinner guy.

00:15:20.000 So sorry, this doesn't count.

00:15:24.000 This one is from Kishkish.

00:15:26.000 I can say their names if it's fake names.

00:15:28.000 Dear Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. 0.99

00:15:32.000 Which one is which, do you think?

00:15:34.000 Oh, you're for sure Mermaid Man. 0.99

00:15:36.000 Isn't it a Merman?

00:15:39.000 Yeah.

00:15:39.000 There's no such thing as a Mermaid Man, lady.

00:15:42.000 It's a jellyfish.

00:15:43.000 Wait, no, no, that's from SpongeBob.

00:15:46.000 Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

00:15:48.000 Oh, okay.

00:15:49.000 She explains the SpongeBob reference.

00:15:52.000 She goes, it's not because I'm a gay adult who watches kids' cartoons.

00:15:55.000 I'm a stay-at-home mom with three kids.

00:15:57.000 All right.

00:15:57.000 She goes, this article is fucking weird.

00:16:00.000 I know you have both lived upstate, and I'm curious what your take is.

00:16:03.000 We live in Kingston, and I can't decide if we should get out now or if we're in the right place for the apparent impending apocalypses.

00:16:11.000 Only half kidding.

00:16:12.000 This article is really good and gets crazier and crazier as it goes on.

00:16:14.000 I like you more than a friend.

00:16:18.000 So Warren Buffett's son, Peter Buffett, has dropped $160 million on a shit town in upstate, Kingston, New York, which sucks.

00:16:27.000 I don't know.

00:16:28.000 I get how this would make you uncomfortable.

00:16:30.000 I think $160 million is obviously more than their entire budget.

00:16:34.000 But upstate is such a shithole that who cares?

00:16:38.000 Like in Monticello, I was up in Berryville, not far from Port Jervis, half an hour, 20 minutes.

00:16:46.000 In Monticello, the only people who have money are criminals and corrections officers.

00:16:51.000 So when you're at a restaurant, it's the guy with the gold chains, who's clearly a Coke dealer, or the fucking corrections officer guy that are getting their asses kissed by the waitress because they're the only ones that tip.

00:17:04.000 So that's the situation you're in?

00:17:06.000 Yeah, I take the philanthropy.

00:17:08.000 Why not?

00:17:09.000 Do you know Kingston, Ryan?

00:17:11.000 Yeah.

00:17:12.000 Shithole, right?

00:17:15.000 It's all a shithole up there.

00:17:17.000 What's a nice upstate town?

00:17:19.000 New Windsor, Monroe is really nice, but all the Hasidic. 1.00

00:17:23.000 Calicoon is okay.

00:17:25.000 Calicoon?

00:17:26.000 It's a little quaint.

00:17:28.000 Do you know Kingston, Maddie?

00:17:30.000 Yeah, exit 19 on 87.

00:17:32.000 There's nice parts of all those upstate places, but the places that are in disrepair are very...

00:17:36.000 I've stayed there once in the middle of a snowstorm.

00:17:39.000 They shut the highway down, so we had to stop and stay in some motel 6.

00:17:43.000 Is this as a biker or as a driver?

00:17:45.000 No, no, no.

00:17:46.000 Just I was going to visit a girlfriend of mine who was going to college at Delhi University, and we never made it because of the snowstorm.

00:17:54.000 Huh.

00:17:56.000 Yeah, I say if they're throwing money at your town, say thank you.

00:17:59.000 Plus, it's increasing the property value around.

00:18:02.000 So yeah, by all means, go nuts, Peter Buffett.

00:18:04.000 Buy yourself a town.

00:18:06.000 I'm into it.

00:18:11.000 Black Rifle Coffee.

00:18:12.000 Hello, fuckers. 0.99

00:18:13.000 Just canceled my subscription to Black Rifle Coffee.

00:18:15.000 Been with them for years, but after the recent interview with the New York Times, they can fuck off.

00:18:19.000 The CEO went on a rant about the Proud Boys being extremist and racist.

00:18:23.000 Really?

00:18:24.000 I would link to the article, but I don't want to give them one click.

00:18:28.000 Wow, what amazing business acumen.

00:18:30.000 Kiss up to the lefties and see how much coffee you can sell them. 0.95

00:18:34.000 Oh, better change the name of the company to something less scary for your new customers.

00:18:37.000 Pink pussy coffee, perhaps. 0.99

00:18:42.000 Says Vlad.

00:18:43.000 That's Evan Hafer.

00:18:45.000 Now, I saw that.

00:18:46.000 Are you online with New York Times?

00:18:49.000 Should we give them a click?

00:18:50.000 Of course.

00:18:51.000 Okay.

00:18:51.000 Yeah.

00:18:52.000 They're not going to get rich off our click.

00:18:54.000 No.

00:18:55.000 But we should be subscribed to New York Times and I actually drink Black Rifle Coffee.

00:19:01.000 What?

00:19:01.000 Currently?

00:19:02.000 I actually drink Black Rifle Coffee.

00:19:04.000 Well, you should stop.

00:19:04.000 I know.

00:19:05.000 I haven't seen the article yet.

00:19:07.000 Well, they stabbed Kyle Rittenhouse in the back.

00:19:09.000 You know that, right?

00:19:10.000 Really?

00:19:11.000 Well, I know the CEO is Evan Hafer, and then a guy, Matt Best, and a guy named Jared Taylor.

00:19:17.000 Those are like the three main.

00:19:20.000 And they're all vets.

00:19:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:19:21.000 And they all don't know.

00:19:22.000 Evan Hafer was a Green Beret. 0.59

00:19:24.000 Jared Taylor was what they called T-PAC in the Air Force.

00:19:30.000 He would go on special operations and control the overhead, the air.

00:19:36.000 When he needed air support, he would call it in for the special forces.

00:19:40.000 And then Matt Bess was a Ranger in 2nd or 3rd Battalion.

00:19:46.000 Why don't, like, we're not asking them to support Charlottesville, but how could you not support Kyle Rittenhouse?

00:19:53.000 He was actually wearing one of their shirts.

00:19:56.000 Yeah.

00:19:56.000 Well, that's when they had to make it clear that they don't support that.

00:20:00.000 That's when they went left.

00:20:02.000 I had no idea.

00:20:03.000 Kyle Rittenhouse does not strike me as a radical righty.

00:20:08.000 We were going to have his lawyer on the show.

00:20:10.000 He missed his flight.

00:20:12.000 But it was clearly self-defense.

00:20:16.000 And it was fucking radical nut bar leftists that would love you to die.

00:20:20.000 Everyone who drinks black rifle coffee, they would love, and Tifa would love them all to die. 1.00

00:20:25.000 Weren't they hitting him in the head with a skateboard saying, I'm going to kill you?

00:20:29.000 I'm going to fucking kill you.

00:20:30.000 Yeah.

00:20:32.000 Sounds like a pretty clear case of self-defense.

00:20:36.000 So in this article, he says, I hate racist, proud boyish people. 0.94

00:20:41.000 That's the poll quote.

00:20:43.000 See if you can dig it up.

00:20:45.000 Who's that, Evan Hafer?

00:20:46.000 Let me see.

00:20:48.000 I hate racist, proud, boyish people. 1.00

00:20:50.000 Like, I'll pay them to leave my customer base.

00:20:54.000 How many are...

00:20:55.000 First of all, proud boys have nothing to do with racism, but how many racists are like, we love black rifle coffee and we hate niggers?

00:21:03.000 Seven?

00:21:05.000 Here, go to, let's see who said it.

00:21:09.000 So just the way you do that, Ryan, yeah.

00:21:15.000 I'll pay them to get the fuck out.

00:21:17.000 If that was the case, I asked, had Black Rifle Coffee, which sells a thin blue line coffee, consider changing the name of its Beyond Black Coffee, a dark roast.

00:21:26.000 It has sold for years to Beyond Black Lives Matter.

00:21:28.000 Surely that would alienate the racists.

00:21:30.000 He began to laugh.

00:21:31.000 You wouldn't do that, I ventured.

00:21:32.000 I would never do that, Hater Hafer replied.

00:21:35.000 We're trying to be us.

00:21:36.000 But he did.

00:21:37.000 He just did it.

00:21:38.000 I saw, I don't know if it was Photoshop, but I saw a bag that had Black Lives Matter on it.

00:21:42.000 Really?

00:21:43.000 Black Coffee Matters.

00:21:44.000 I actually have a bag.

00:21:45.000 I've had a bag of Beyond Black.

00:21:48.000 Oh, you have a bag of Black Lives Matter coffee.

00:21:50.000 So that was Hafer.

00:21:52.000 Yeah, Evan Hafer.

00:21:53.000 So which one is he now?

00:21:55.000 He was the one who...

00:21:55.000 He's the founder of the company.

00:21:58.000 Not that guy.

00:21:59.000 What a cock. 1.00

00:22:00.000 No.

00:22:00.000 So he was Green Beret.

00:22:02.000 That's best.

00:22:03.000 And a CIA contractor.

00:22:05.000 I think it's his...

00:22:06.000 How can you be a Green Beret and be a douche? 1.00

00:22:09.000 I don't understand it.

00:22:11.000 Just following orders.

00:22:15.000 They have great photography at the New York Times.

00:22:18.000 It's one of the only good things about that place.

00:22:20.000 That's the guy, right?

00:22:21.000 Hafer?

00:22:21.000 Yep.

00:22:22.000 He's the one who did the video saying, hey, the written out shit.

00:22:27.000 Not me.

00:22:29.000 Fig.

00:22:32.000 Fat?

00:22:32.000 He's a fag.

00:22:34.000 He's not a fag, actually. 1.00

00:22:35.000 That's a compliment.

00:22:36.000 He's sub-fag. 1.00

00:22:39.000 Here's a lame thing to say, but the fact that he has no tattoos bothers me.

00:22:45.000 I don't say that about everyone.

00:22:46.000 I don't say it about my waiter or anything or my accountant, but you're in the military and you have no tattoos?

00:22:52.000 Oh, his partner Matt Best is covered.

00:22:55.000 Yeah.

00:22:56.000 We don't see Matt Best saying any of this shit.

00:22:59.000 You know what?

00:22:59.000 If it's controversial and it's going to shut your company down, I could see you when Kyle Rittenhouse is wearing your shirt, just shutting your mouth and not saying anything.

00:23:09.000 I'd forgive that.

00:23:10.000 That's not the end of the world.

00:23:11.000 But to go out of your way to shit on your supporters.

00:23:15.000 What called article written?

00:23:18.000 It's brand new.

00:23:18.000 Oh, I was just saying.

00:23:20.000 Yeah.

00:23:20.000 I haven't heard about it.

00:23:21.000 No, I think it was this weekend.

00:23:23.000 July 14th.

00:23:24.000 Wow.

00:23:25.000 Updated July 19th, but July 14th.

00:23:26.000 I'm going to have to look that up.

00:23:29.000 Hey, Gavin, Rygai, I've stumbled across a rare 10 out of 10.

00:23:34.000 Her name is Gina Holgwin.

00:23:36.000 She is a Mexican sports journalist.

00:23:38.000 I stumbled across her show while watching TV with my Spanish mom, and I couldn't believe my eyes.

00:23:44.000 I can't believe we have Mexican viewers.

00:23:48.000 Just kidding.

00:23:49.000 Okay, now I want to make something clear when we review these kind of women. 1.00

00:23:53.000 I know that I'm a, without any of the money or the background, I'm like a 5.8, right?

00:23:59.000 So I would eat shit for a mile just to get to her ass, just to be clear. 1.00

00:24:04.000 But we're obviously just judging 10, so it's like when you're talking about the MLB and you say Noah Synergaard sucks this year because he's only throwing 90 miles an hour.

00:24:14.000 I could probably throw 45 miles an hour, and even then it would make my hand throb from the blood going forward.

00:24:20.000 I'm not in the same league as this person, but the beauty of, you know, media is you get to bitch about women out of your league. 1.00

00:24:28.000 I'll tell you what, though, the way her top is makes her right boob look very long. 1.00

00:24:35.000 Oh, let's see that again.

00:24:37.000 Hispanics tend to have... 1.00

00:24:39.000 Why do Hispanics have such huge jugs always? 1.00

00:24:42.000 I don't know.

00:24:43.000 Something in the water.

00:24:45.000 They have small asses and gigantic tits. 1.00

00:24:48.000 Something in the agua.

00:24:49.000 They definitely look better.

00:24:50.000 Her left, our right, is propped up in the cup.

00:24:54.000 But the one that's like kind of down on her shoulders.

00:24:57.000 It's a little sad.

00:24:58.000 Cleavage is weird, too.

00:24:59.000 She's got butt cleavage. 1.00

00:25:00.000 Yeah.

00:25:00.000 Like publicity.

00:25:02.000 See, right there, she's smoking. 1.00

00:25:04.000 Well, of course that's incredibly hot.

00:25:06.000 I mean, Maddie could wear that and I'd have a boner. 1.00

00:25:10.000 There's some other longies.

00:25:11.000 But I gotta say, I'm not at bananas about her nose.

00:25:15.000 Oh, wow.

00:25:16.000 So she's got butt cleavage, and her nose is not cute enough for my taste. 1.00

00:25:21.000 Sub-ideal.

00:25:22.000 It's a little sharp.

00:25:22.000 It's got that Sarah Silverman kind of a beak thing.

00:25:26.000 Well, it's had work done to it.

00:25:31.000 Yeah.

00:25:32.000 She's got a bit of a pelican nose. 1.00

00:25:34.000 What's a pelican?

00:25:36.000 But yeah, she is fucking hot. 1.00

00:25:38.000 Sorry, but not...

00:25:39.000 There's ones like the change your life.

00:25:42.000 This isn't changing my life.

00:25:46.000 Hey, Gavin and Fagarikin.

00:25:50.000 I don't think he's talking about anyone but Ryan there.

00:25:52.000 That can't be me.

00:25:53.000 Been watching every night with the wife and have been noticing the stuff you're always bringing up.

00:25:58.000 It's sad.

00:26:00.000 The greatest threat to our democracy since 9-11, the Civil War, Pearl Harbor, etc., are the narrative the idiots of the country are gobbling up in reference to the meandering, voting, and any other thing they can use.

00:26:13.000 They're even talking about censoring anyone from all platforms if they get banned from one, as well as censoring text messages.

00:26:20.000 What?

00:26:21.000 Some real 1984 shit.

00:26:23.000 Thank God for your show, as many say.

00:26:25.000 A breath of sanity, keep plugging away.

00:26:27.000 And check out Cocaine Country Dancing for an intro song. 0.74

00:26:31.000 Okay, I gotta see that.

00:26:32.000 I don't remember seeing texts.

00:26:36.000 Do they maybe mean DMs?

00:26:38.000 You can't DM someone a censored.tv link on Facebook or Instagram or anything.

00:26:43.000 But a personal text?

00:26:47.000 Ryan is so slow that I'm...

00:26:48.000 Censoring a text message, just the beginning.

00:26:50.000 By Red State.

00:26:52.000 Let me see.

00:26:53.000 Red State is a very underrated site.

00:26:56.000 They've got some amazing scoops.

00:26:58.000 They're the ones where Ryan Gurduski pointed out that if you're looking for a race war and racism, check out the Mexican gangs murdering blacks in South Central just because they're in their neighborhood.

00:27:10.000 They have ethnically cleansed South Central. 1.00

00:27:13.000 Shooting, they shot some black teenager 13 years old on her skateboard.

00:27:17.000 They would shoot into homes and throw Molotov cocktails into black people's homes based on where the children are to maximize the terror. 0.77

00:27:25.000 Zero media coverage outside of Red State.

00:27:29.000 So let's see this opening paragraph.

00:27:34.000 Oh, fuck.

00:27:34.000 It would be a grievous error to assume that President Joe Biden and his merry band of Democratic lawmakers only wish to tamper with your tech message over supported COVID-19 misinformation.

00:27:43.000 The very idea they would make such a suggestion should send a chill down the spine of any freedom-loving American.

00:27:48.000 Yeah.

00:27:50.000 See, that's such a great way to get in the door.

00:27:52.000 I'm protecting you from misinformation.

00:27:56.000 I love you.

00:27:58.000 I'm worried about you.

00:28:00.000 It's like a parental filter for everybody.

00:28:04.000 Well, that was his big push the other day, Biden, about misinformation.

00:28:08.000 He wants the cellular phone companies to tap into your SMSs.

00:28:15.000 Is there anyone in America who goes, that sounds good?

00:28:18.000 Yeah.

00:28:19.000 Let's stop the misinformation.

00:28:21.000 How could he even...

00:28:22.000 Like, even Antifa.

00:28:23.000 I didn't even know he was talking about that.

00:28:25.000 He was like, what?

00:28:26.000 Antifa's got to know that they're on the chopping block, too.

00:28:30.000 Who declares misinformation?

00:28:32.000 Like, who's the ruler?

00:28:35.000 Starts out, we don't want you to think that if you take this vaccine, you'll die.

00:28:39.000 And it ends up with, you shouldn't be criticizing Biden.

00:28:43.000 That's misinformation.

00:28:45.000 And don't mention his son's laptop.

00:28:47.000 That's Russian disinformation.

00:28:48.000 They called the laptop thing Russian disinformation.

00:28:51.000 Wow.

00:28:54.000 The realities are we'll handle that.

00:28:57.000 Realities are.

00:29:00.000 Wow.

00:29:01.000 Hey, Gav, this is just one example of insanity going on in the Bay Area.

00:29:04.000 The crime is so bad in Oakland that even all the BLM anti-police brutality people are starting to think, Jesus Christ, Mercedes calling me like 15 times a day now.

00:29:13.000 This is getting...

00:29:15.000 I got to tell her to chill the fuck out. 1.00

00:29:18.000 I don't talk to my wife 15 times a day.

00:29:20.000 Take a chill, pill.

00:29:22.000 Wait, have we messed things up?

00:29:24.000 Yeah, sorry, the left is starting to think they've messed things up.

00:29:27.000 The D and the judges in San Francisco are still letting out criminals with little to no punishment.

00:29:32.000 So this woman, this young girl, is being stalked by a lunatic.

00:29:38.000 And she calls her father, Blaise Zariga, and she says, this guy's been chasing me, groping me.

00:29:44.000 I'm hiding in a bookshop, and this nut is telling me they belong together.

00:29:50.000 So he jumps in his car, heads down there.

00:29:52.000 She calls the police.

00:29:53.000 They get the guy, Bill Gene Hobbs, and he has evil tattooed on his fingers, and he's been stalking her.

00:29:59.000 Sorry to laugh.

00:30:00.000 And they let him go.

00:30:03.000 They don't even let her have a restraining order. 1.00

00:30:06.000 Wow.

00:30:07.000 The question is, where are they now?

00:30:13.000 How old is this girl?

00:30:15.000 15.

00:30:16.000 Did you show the link?

00:30:17.000 Yep.

00:30:18.000 A 15-year-old girl.

00:30:21.000 Stalked.

00:30:22.000 He's grabbing her.

00:30:23.000 Been following her for half an hour.

00:30:25.000 Holy cow. 0.89

00:30:28.000 I mean, is that an argument for vigilanteism or what?

00:30:32.000 Shoot to kill.

00:30:34.000 Shoot the pervert. 1.00

00:30:35.000 Shoot the kill.

00:30:39.000 Dear Gavin and former faggot, Ryan. 1.00

00:30:42.000 Thank you.

00:30:43.000 This is actually spelled Faget.

00:30:45.000 I don't know if that's on purpose.

00:30:47.000 First, I'd like to congratulate Ryan on having a baby and getting, quote unquote, married, which he's not done.

00:30:52.000 That's not true.

00:30:53.000 Girlfriend's wearing the ring is not proposed.

00:30:57.000 We're getting married this Thursday.

00:30:58.000 Very exciting.

00:31:00.000 This Thursday?

00:31:01.000 Yes.

00:31:02.000 Okay.

00:31:04.000 Then I would like to thank Gavin because he's the reason I cannot find an aide.

00:31:09.000 Who wants aides anyway? 0.93

00:31:13.000 I'm in a wheelchair and need an aide to help me do my daily things like eat, go to the bathroom, and basically do everything for me that I can't do.

00:31:21.000 I've been looking to hire a new aide, and every time they walk into my room and see the Proud Boy's flag and how religiously I watch your show, they get offended and don't come back.

00:31:30.000 What are you going to do?

00:31:31.000 Beat them up?

00:31:33.000 So that's a perfect example of someone scared of your thoughts because you're clearly paralyzed.

00:31:39.000 You're no physical threat to them.

00:31:41.000 You're only sitting in a chair and thinking and those thoughts are a threat to them.

00:31:47.000 Talk about the fucking pussification of a country.

00:31:50.000 That paralyzed man's thoughts are a threat to me.

00:31:53.000 Keep calling the agency.

00:31:55.000 If anybody that lives in Syracuse wants to help, please let me know.

00:31:58.000 One more thing, I've been wanting to get a VPN.

00:32:00.000 I wanted to know if you could suggest a good one.

00:32:02.000 Also an internet, because Google is taking over.

00:32:05.000 Thanks.

00:32:06.000 I like you more than a friend.

00:32:08.000 Well, we had a VPN guy as a client for a while, right?

00:32:11.000 Yes.

00:32:11.000 What was that again?

00:32:13.000 Should we give them a free shout out?

00:32:15.000 Sure.

00:32:15.000 ExpressVPN.

00:32:17.000 Express VPN.

00:32:18.000 And then for browsers, we've been using Brave.

00:32:20.000 Brave.

00:32:22.000 Which works 99% of the time.

00:32:23.000 Sometimes there's a weird thing, though, where you look up like Maddie Odell, and it'll say zero results.

00:32:30.000 Wow.

00:32:30.000 And you go, zero?

00:32:33.000 Like, I'm sure there's a football player with that name from the 60s.

00:32:37.000 With Chrome, you never get zero results.

00:32:41.000 Yeah.

00:32:41.000 But you often do with Brave.

00:32:46.000 This is from Brandon.

00:32:48.000 Hey, Gavin, if you thought Ryan's apartment was disgusting, you need to check out Hood Meals on TikTok.

00:32:53.000 I'll leave a couple of links below.

00:32:56.000 I jumped way down here to the next flag.

00:32:59.000 This guy is living in the hood, and he shows his various disgusting meals, and occasionally you get a look at his...

00:33:07.000 I'll tell you, he's shrimp and terminated.

00:33:10.000 Damn right.

00:33:11.000 I'll show you right now.

00:33:15.000 Maddie, you missed it.

00:33:17.000 Go back.

00:33:18.000 He's got to put it on my monitor.

00:33:20.000 Oh, you don't have the monitor on?

00:33:23.000 Wait, he hasn't been able to see anything yet?

00:33:25.000 Everything I put on the back behind you.

00:33:27.000 Like the chick. 1.00

00:33:28.000 Okay, check him out when he goes to his fridge.

00:33:31.000 Oh, my.

00:33:32.000 The door comes.

00:33:34.000 Both door.

00:33:36.000 Holy shit.

00:33:38.000 Look at the sink.

00:33:46.000 No water.

00:33:47.000 Oh, my God.

00:33:49.000 I told her to fucking give me another weed. 1.00

00:33:52.000 Hood pride.

00:33:55.000 I think there's roaches in there or no?

00:33:57.000 I think the toilet you shoved your hand into was a lot bigger than that tank.

00:34:06.000 Yes, sir.

00:34:07.000 Why do black people like shrimp so much? 1.00

00:34:10.000 Scrimp?

00:34:11.000 I hate shrimp.

00:34:11.000 It's insects.

00:34:12.000 Ooh, that thumbnail, though.

00:34:14.000 That's got to be for Coke.

00:34:17.000 What's the other one for?

00:34:18.000 Both ends?

00:34:20.000 Yes.

00:34:22.000 Oh, that was depressing.

00:34:24.000 What is it supposed to be?

00:34:25.000 An air fryer?

00:34:26.000 I talked to a cop once who said he went to a house in East New York, kids running around.

00:34:31.000 The mother did nothing for the kids at all. 1.00

00:34:33.000 They were all just roommates.

00:34:35.000 And the kids went to bed when they went to bed.

00:34:37.000 They had TV on 24 hours a day.

00:34:39.000 There was no nothing, no dinner time, no bedtime.

00:34:41.000 There was food, though, and the food was just a big iron skillet on the stove that was, what do you call it, Sloppy Joe?

00:34:49.000 Yeah.

00:34:50.000 And when the kids were hungry, they would go by and have a nibble.

00:34:53.000 That's how they ate.

00:34:55.000 Like a buffet.

00:34:56.000 But it was infested with roaches.

00:34:59.000 So what you would do is you'd go by the frying pan and you'd go, kong, kong, kong, kong, kong, with your spoon.

00:35:06.000 That would scare the roaches away.

00:35:08.000 And then you'd have your spoonfuls and then drop the spoon and leave.

00:35:14.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:35:16.000 So the sloppy Joe would be probably at least 2% roach shit.

00:35:23.000 Utterly disgusting.

00:35:25.000 Holy shit.

00:35:29.000 We didn't see this one yet.

00:35:32.000 What one?

00:35:33.000 Oh, this one.

00:35:35.000 Ramen noodle.

00:35:36.000 Yeah, the same joke.

00:35:41.000 Oh, shit.

00:35:42.000 What the fuck?

00:35:44.000 Oh, no.

00:35:47.000 What the fuck?

00:35:53.000 I would commit random acts of violence if my home looked like that for sure.

00:35:57.000 I'd want to steal people's sneakers.

00:35:59.000 Go underneath the sink and turn up the water supply, asshole. 0.99

00:36:04.000 I am under the sink.

00:36:10.000 Now we skip a lot.

00:36:12.000 Can you just mark it for me?

00:36:14.000 A little flaggy?

00:36:15.000 It's pretty funny that guy.

00:36:16.000 Flag.

00:36:16.000 Okay.

00:36:18.000 What was that, Maddie?

00:36:19.000 I said, it's pretty funny.

00:36:20.000 That guy, he's living on the street eating what in prison or jail you would call a crackhead soup because it costs 15 cents.

00:36:29.000 But it's so good, right?

00:36:31.000 Ramen noodles.

00:36:32.000 Oh, I love it.

00:36:35.000 There is a YouTuber called Serpensa.

00:36:39.000 He is South African, but lived in China for a long time, and mostly makes videos about China.

00:36:44.000 He recently did a deep dive into what is happening in South Africa right now.

00:36:47.000 Great video from a great guy.

00:36:48.000 Here's one clip I pulled from the video around 40 minutes in.

00:36:54.000 What you can see here, guys, is my daughter playing with children.

00:37:02.000 Okay, that might seem weird.

00:37:04.000 Oh, okay, that's what kids do.

00:37:05.000 But my daughter is half Chinese.

00:37:08.000 She is playing with kids over there.

00:37:11.000 Mexican, black, Korean, Puerto Rican, white, and God knows what else.

00:37:22.000 Everything you can think of.

00:37:23.000 Like a big mix.

00:37:26.000 And there's nothing, there's no hatred, there's no weirdness, there's no racism, there's no bullshit, it's safe.

00:37:32.000 Look at that.

00:37:33.000 It's kids being kids.

00:37:35.000 Okay?

00:37:36.000 This is America.

00:37:41.000 Everyone in America is fucking deluded.

00:37:43.000 They think it's the most racist country in the world.

00:37:46.000 You don't know what real racism is.

00:37:48.000 Alright?

00:37:49.000 If you grew up in South Africa, if you lived in China, any of these places that I've spent great times, like great periods of my life in, you would know what real racism is.

00:37:59.000 America is a country where my child, who is a mixed child, can play with children of all different races and the parents sitting around there.

00:38:13.000 We gotta get Willem Peter on the phone.

00:38:19.000 My guy.

00:38:22.000 Let me try him.

00:38:26.000 What's the time difference?

00:38:28.000 I think it's like 12 hours.

00:38:31.000 It'll be 7 in the morning.

00:38:34.000 Oops.

00:38:34.000 Is this some goofy shit like 12 plus 4, like 12 plus 2, like 14 hours?

00:38:40.000 So this is the guy, if anybody wants to check it out.

00:38:43.000 His name is Serpentza.

00:38:50.000 Hanging up.

00:38:53.000 Yeah, he said it's the Wild West there.

00:38:54.000 He's in a gunfight.

00:38:56.000 What?

00:38:58.000 Him himself?

00:38:59.000 He was in Gunfights, soldiers in Afghanistan, gang members.

00:39:06.000 It's really fucking rare.

00:39:09.000 It's a big deal to be in a gunfight.

00:39:12.000 That's a once-in-a-lifetime thing, assuming you live.

00:39:18.000 He's busy gunfighting.

00:39:19.000 He hasn't been uploading.

00:39:20.000 Last upload was a month ago.

00:39:22.000 So he's busy.

00:39:24.000 He's busy fighting for his fucking life.

00:39:26.000 I don't think that's a good idea.

00:39:26.000 What was that Dianeford song you said was all about Zuma?

00:39:30.000 Oh, Never Lee Kameise.

00:39:33.000 He's talking about how bad it is.

00:39:35.000 They don't trust anyone because the cops will shoot you in the back of the head.

00:39:38.000 And they don't stop at the robots, which are the traffic lights.

00:39:42.000 You got to keep your head on a swivel, 360 degrees.

00:39:45.000 Well, they call traffic lights robots, right?

00:39:47.000 It is a robot.

00:39:56.000 They don't have a video for it?

00:39:58.000 No.

00:39:59.000 There's a live performance of it, but otherwise there is no video.

00:40:02.000 You have to forward it a little bit.

00:40:23.000 We were talking the other day about how they're much more comfortable with DMS and Lord Isak than they are with Drake and Kanye West because they come from hell.

00:40:32.000 A little bit further up the ride.

00:41:06.000 I'm not even trusting Roblox.

00:41:08.000 I'll get shot in the back of the head by. 0.64

00:41:09.000 What are you going to do?

00:41:10.000 Go run, tell Zuma?

00:41:12.000 He goes, he doesn't give a fuck.

00:41:13.000 That's why we keep a gangster.

00:41:19.000 I met this British guy who lived there recently, and it's been shitty for a long time. 1.00

00:41:24.000 Yeah.

00:41:25.000 And he goes, oh, it was the greatest time of my life.

00:41:28.000 You know, really wonderful.

00:41:31.000 Well, weren't you surrounded by razor wire?

00:41:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:33.000 We were in an encampment, and you come home, and the steel gates would open, and then they closed behind.

00:41:39.000 He goes, there was a shooting in the next block from me, actually.

00:41:42.000 Home invaders shot, and the people were armed, and they killed the home invaders.

00:41:47.000 But, you know, it was just a fantastic time.

00:41:50.000 What?

00:41:50.000 Yeah.

00:41:52.000 Not a good idea for an evening.

00:41:55.000 No.

00:41:59.000 Here we have a letter from Alfred.

00:42:01.000 Table Mountain.

00:42:02.000 Certain types of fish are being renamed in the wake of anti-Asian hate crimes.

00:42:07.000 So Asian carp is now being called invasive carp.

00:42:12.000 Oh, that's nicer.

00:42:13.000 And this is what I love about censorship.

00:42:15.000 You have less information.

00:42:18.000 So now I just know of this invasive species.

00:42:21.000 I have no idea where it came from.

00:42:23.000 Could be Turkish, for all we know.

00:42:26.000 And now I'm less smart.

00:42:28.000 Yeah, because doesn't it help to know where they're infading from? 1.00

00:42:31.000 Because if you're like, well, this is where they're from.

00:42:34.000 So it's, don't freak out if you see this carp.

00:42:36.000 But if you say it's an Asian, you're like, what the fuck's an Asian carp doing here? 1.00

00:42:39.000 This is clearly invasive.

00:42:40.000 They're huge.

00:42:41.000 Well, they say, have you seen the videos of them where people are riding in their boat and they're jumping everywhere?

00:42:48.000 Because they get really freaked out by engines.

00:42:50.000 I guess where they're from, there's not a lot of motorboats.

00:42:54.000 So they go crazy when they hear engines and they start leaping to get out of the water to get the sound out.

00:42:59.000 So people get hit in the head.

00:43:01.000 Yeah.

00:43:02.000 You spread bread into like balls and you put it on the hook and that's how you catch carp.

00:43:08.000 Oh, yeah?

00:43:08.000 They don't eat meat or worms or anything like that.

00:43:11.000 Bread balls.

00:43:13.000 They love red balls.

00:43:15.000 Bread, bread.

00:43:16.000 Oh, bread balls.

00:43:17.000 Aren't they not edible?

00:43:20.000 People do eat them.

00:43:22.000 I mean, I don't think it.

00:43:24.000 It's like a giant goldfish.

00:43:26.000 Basically, it's a koi fish.

00:43:30.000 That looks fun.

00:43:31.000 They were dumped at the waterways in the United States, and they people threw them there.

00:43:38.000 And that's why they're known as the invasive species.

00:43:41.000 They're also renaming the chinkfish.

00:43:45.000 Oh, really?

00:43:46.000 Yeah.

00:43:48.000 Insensitive.

00:43:49.000 What about gookworms?

00:43:50.000 The gookworms are still staying because they come from, I believe, gook, Taiwan.

00:43:56.000 Gook is Korean and Vietnamese.

00:43:59.000 Carpra family of fish natives.

00:44:01.000 They've been in the United States for 100 years.

00:44:05.000 Four types of invasive carp.

00:44:07.000 How'd they get here, though?

00:44:08.000 Fuck.

00:44:10.000 They're stuck on the hull of some boat or something?

00:44:12.000 Why don't they tell us this shit?

00:44:15.000 See, if we had the computer up and running, we could say, computer, who brought Asian carp here? 1.00

00:44:21.000 They're all over the town island in.

00:44:24.000 They're all over what?

00:44:25.000 Town Island in.

00:44:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:28.000 You can stand over by the bridges, by the railroad tractions, and look down, and you'll see hundreds of them.

00:44:34.000 Wow.

00:44:35.000 Good question.

00:44:36.000 How did the Asian carp get here? 1.00

00:44:41.000 They were imported in the United States into some of the southern states for us in private aquaculture ponds to clean out algae.

00:44:47.000 Yeah, I thought so.

00:44:49.000 Which is another invasive thing, right?

00:44:51.000 We've had some invasive algae that's been pretty bad.

00:44:54.000 Sure.

00:44:55.000 Modern Baseball, the band, is just a copy of The Front Bottoms.

00:45:00.000 Also, I like both bands.

00:45:02.000 Sorority Noise is also a similar band that is good, but the song Flashlight by the Front Bottoms is a romantic song you would like.

00:45:10.000 It's from 2011.

00:45:11.000 The Hold Steady are also a lot like this.

00:45:14.000 And they all have ugly singers. 1.00

00:45:21.000 Which I like.

00:45:26.000 Great video, guys.

00:45:31.000 Really sucked in, doesn't it?

00:45:34.000 Like a black hole.

00:45:35.000 We just have some footage of like a train?

00:45:55.000 What about uh put on um the hold steady that's an exciting band that does that kind of talky emo while Ryan digs that up someone sent in a picture that's on the Fox News building the maastro still had glitter on his face They led us to the office and once my eyes adjusted I took a little look around Is this their biggest hit?

00:46:24.000 On the mantel was a portrait Ryan play their biggest hit they got this song that has this chorus like oh oh They go crazy people have been complaining about this lip here and asking us to get some sort of a board that makes it consistent.

00:46:41.000 But if you notice no You're a pussy if that bothers you dead on though that's the way it has to be so see how that picture lines up like that otherwise if we move flush like the picture don't line up like that. 0.93

00:46:53.000 Well also we get a glare if we don't have the screens at our glare.

00:46:58.000 That's true.

00:46:58.000 No one's gonna smash the subscribe.

00:47:00.000 Okay.

00:47:03.000 Yeah, you go to Hold Steady in Videos and you go The Bear and the Made and Fair.

00:47:11.000 You go most popular one.

00:47:13.000 Yeah View Count.

00:47:14.000 Okay.

00:47:15.000 Most popular.

00:47:16.000 This one smashes the subscription.

00:47:18.000 This one like eight years ago.

00:47:30.000 No, do your little hood rat friend. 0.99

00:47:32.000 That's good.

00:47:34.000 Little hood rat friend. 0.99

00:47:36.000 Yeah, that's their hit.

00:47:40.000 I like seeing singers that are ugly because I know they're good.

00:47:44.000 It's like in baseball when they're drafting guys, they look for the guy with the ugly girlfriend because it means he's a hard worker and he's loyal and stays true.

00:47:56.000 That guy's not here for his looks.

00:47:59.000 Hearts to be heartbroken and always being broken.

00:48:31.000 People still cut.

00:48:32.000 Isn't a hood rat like a ghetto chick? 1.00

00:48:36.000 So he's got some black crackhead calling him a lot?

00:48:39.000 I don't believe you.

00:48:41.000 They're not attracted to guys like you.

00:48:45.000 It's not a thing.

00:48:47.000 Anyway, due to belligerent, and check out the Hold Steady, they're worth your time, I promise.

00:48:51.000 Due to the belligerent and embarrassing actions of certain individuals, all Fox News and Fox business channel guests must pass a breathalyzer test before appearing on air.

00:49:00.000 Someone asked if that was my fault.

00:49:02.000 I haven't been at Fox for like fucking five years at least.

00:49:05.000 But I used to do their shows annihilated.

00:49:10.000 One show, I was doing Coke with Bill Schultz in Drinking All Day.

00:49:15.000 And then I went, oh shit, from 35th Street, I went, I got to go home.

00:49:19.000 We were moving out of our apartment.

00:49:21.000 So it was exactly five years ago.

00:49:24.000 Change into a suit and then get picked up to come do Fox.

00:49:28.000 I'm riding my bicycle, annihilated on Adderall and Booz, and I was hitting cars that were going in the same direction, like falling into them, wiping out.

00:49:38.000 I hit my head, cut it open.

00:49:40.000 And I remember like these construction workers getting out of their truck and going, holy shit, are you okay?

00:49:45.000 Jesus Christ, Mr. You okay in there?

00:49:51.000 And I went home, I put on the suit, I called the car service or whatever.

00:49:56.000 It was already predone.

00:49:57.000 And I just fell asleep on the hardwood floor in a suit with a puddle of blood growing behind me.

00:50:06.000 And then I woke up, cleaned up the bloodstain with toilet paper, got in the taxi, and then I get to the show and Jim Norton was there.

00:50:15.000 And I'm talking to him.

00:50:16.000 I'm still bleeding.

00:50:18.000 So he sees a line like coming down.

00:50:20.000 He goes, are you fucking bleeding?

00:50:22.000 I was like, oh, shit, I am.

00:50:23.000 So I got more paper towels and I cleaned it off.

00:50:27.000 And then I did the show basically Blackout Drunk.

00:50:31.000 Regularly did that on Red Eye.

00:50:34.000 Where can you find those fucking episodes?

00:50:36.000 That'd be awesome.

00:50:37.000 I bet if you looked up Gavin McKinnis Drunk Red Eye.

00:50:40.000 Yeah, I'm checking it.

00:50:42.000 Drunk.

00:50:43.000 Red Eye.

00:50:45.000 Like really drunk.

00:50:46.000 Sometimes they'd have to like Greg would have to acknowledge it because it was embarrassing.

00:50:53.000 Let's see.

00:50:55.000 But they often didn't notice.

00:50:58.000 No, they don't look.

00:50:59.000 They couldn't tell.

00:51:00.000 That's the beauty of being Scottish.

00:51:01.000 People just think, oh, he's bombastic.

00:51:08.000 Oh, here we go.

00:51:09.000 Kevin McInnis Under the Influence.

00:51:20.000 You got it?

00:51:24.000 I found a good playlist, by the way, but let's see.

00:51:27.000 Why are you so bad at your job?

00:51:28.000 Kevin McInnis Under the Influence is the name of the video.

00:51:31.000 It's me drunk on Red Eye.

00:51:33.000 Took me about eight seconds to find.

00:51:35.000 You still can't find it.

00:51:37.000 There it is.

00:51:39.000 So go to 13 seconds.

00:51:49.000 The truth about this story is actually kind of haunting.

00:51:52.000 Don't say anything disgusting.

00:51:54.000 It's not disgusting.

00:51:55.000 The woman had a miscarriage.

00:51:57.000 Oh, see?

00:51:58.000 What did I know?

00:51:59.000 She said.

00:52:00.000 Stop it.

00:52:00.000 All right, stuff.

00:52:01.000 You are a father.

00:52:03.000 You are a father.

00:52:04.000 And it lived.

00:52:04.000 Shut up.

00:52:05.000 It lived on snacks and on Smarties.

00:52:08.000 And she shut off.

00:52:10.000 Two years later, and a few people tried to rescue it.

00:52:13.000 And just before it does something, stop talking.

00:52:17.000 Stop talking.

00:52:18.000 And it lived.

00:52:19.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:52:20.000 It lived.

00:52:20.000 Stop it.

00:52:21.000 That was a good joke.

00:52:22.000 Did you get that joke?

00:52:23.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:52:24.000 They found a tongue in a claw machine, and I said the woman had a miscarriage, and she threw it in there, and it lived on Smarties and grew up in the claw machine.

00:52:33.000 That is pretty funny.

00:52:35.000 Pretty good bit.

00:52:36.000 That's pretty good.

00:52:38.000 Okay, scrolling down.

00:52:40.000 Gavin is a hypocritical moron.

00:52:43.000 Oh, shit.

00:52:44.000 See, this we're going to be removing from the mailbag for misinformation.

00:52:48.000 Yes, Queen.

00:52:50.000 This is not true information.

00:52:52.000 And for your protection, we're not going to read this email.

00:52:56.000 Gavin, you're such a staggering fucking hypocrite lecturing Ryan about willfully ignorant and refusing to take in contrary information.

00:53:04.000 You are far more mentally obese than he is.

00:53:07.000 Every time anyone emails or calls into your show with some sort of critique or contrary piece of information, you immediately accuse them of being a quote-unquote millennial and discount what they're saying.

00:53:18.000 It's such an embarrassing fucking crutch that this guy's got some real oomph to him, doesn't he?

00:53:24.000 He's so mad.

00:53:26.000 That anytime a caller brings up something contrary to what you're saying, we immediately start the timer to see how long it takes for you to start screaming the fucking M word at them.

00:53:34.000 Either that or you start quizzing them on how many kids they've had because pumping sperm into a bitch is such a high talent skill. 1.00

00:53:42.000 No, nobody with kids is a moron.

00:53:44.000 You're a fucking retard, dude. 1.00

00:53:47.000 That was very hurtful, but I think it would be much more effective if you had specific examples.

00:53:54.000 Because it is amazing how often millennials come up with some sort of criticism and they're wrong.

00:54:00.000 Now, in this case, you make an interesting allegation, but we need...

00:54:07.000 What you need to make your point is an example of me calling someone a millennial and them being right. 0.91

00:54:14.000 But you don't have that because you're a fucking millennial.

00:54:18.000 Either he's a very passionate fan.

00:54:22.000 It's easy to make an interesting allegation, but can you make an interesting alligator?

00:54:33.000 I mean, if you just have the tail and little hands, that's not really interesting.

00:54:39.000 But if you had, like, maybe elephant ears or something.

00:54:43.000 But that wasn't easy.

00:54:44.000 I came really close to destroying your studio.

00:54:48.000 But I held back because it's mine.

00:54:52.000 I was going to smash those fucking monitors.

00:54:54.000 You were going to smash my money on the market.

00:54:55.000 How much is that fancy one with the different colored things on the back?

00:55:00.000 That's a lot.

00:55:05.000 I mean, Pete Townsend smashed his stuff.

00:55:07.000 That was probably a...

00:55:09.000 What, a $2,000 amp?

00:55:11.000 He also had a lot of hard drives to smash.

00:55:14.000 So he's going to try to go ahead copy in that molester.

00:55:19.000 Yeah, you'd like to get doing his research.

00:55:22.000 Yeah, the jury's still out on that.

00:55:23.000 Remember that story?

00:55:24.000 What's that?

00:55:25.000 Pete Townsend was accused of having kiddie porn.

00:55:28.000 He said he was doing research.

00:55:30.000 No way.

00:55:31.000 Yeah.

00:55:32.000 How much fucking, how would that really help you?

00:55:35.000 If I was, first of all, I would never want to do research.

00:55:38.000 Like, say you're doing a screenplay about a pedophile.

00:55:41.000 That would be a bummer.

00:55:42.000 But I would call the police or someone and say, hi, I'm about to do some research for a role in a play about a pedophile.

00:55:52.000 I'm not happy about this.

00:55:54.000 I can tell you the hours I'll be doing this research from 3 to 4 on Thursday.

00:55:58.000 Like, I don't want this on my fucking computer.

00:56:05.000 Could be a guy, though.

00:56:07.000 Well, he did have a song called Rough Boys Out on the Street.

00:56:11.000 I want to suck and taste them.

00:56:13.000 Out on the street?

00:56:15.000 Now, when I see kids that are like bad boys and they have, you know, a rumble seat in their car and a chain and a switchblade, I think, oh, good.

00:56:24.000 There's some young youngsters getting up to trouble.

00:56:27.000 I want to, hey, guys, get out there.

00:56:29.000 Get some pussy and maybe get in a fight. 1.00

00:56:31.000 Yeah.

00:56:32.000 Sucking on their dicks and tasting them in any fashion doesn't come up. 0.83

00:56:38.000 No.

00:56:39.000 That's not something that goes through your mind when you see quote-unquote rough boys.

00:56:45.000 Yeah, that's a.

00:56:49.000 Is it a character?

00:56:52.000 I don't know, because there's some molesty stuff in that shitty album they put out.

00:56:57.000 Tommy?

00:56:58.000 Yeah.

00:56:59.000 Come over here.

00:56:59.000 I want to bite and kiss you.

00:57:03.000 Pardon?

00:57:14.000 Tough boys.

00:57:15.000 Come over here.

00:57:17.000 I want to bite and kiss you.

00:57:21.000 So we have a kidney porn allegation and talking about boys and saying he wants to bite and kiss them.

00:57:28.000 Does he say suck anywhere?

00:57:33.000 Okay, he didn't say suck.

00:57:35.000 Not yet.

00:57:37.000 I got the lyrics up there.

00:57:38.000 Kissing boys.

00:57:39.000 Doesn't say taste.

00:57:40.000 He says bite and kiss.

00:57:48.000 Like I'm trying to play devil's out of here.

00:57:49.000 Maybe it's a woman saying this and he's just singing it? 0.84

00:57:53.000 Rough boys, I want to buy your leather. 1.00

00:57:55.000 Make noise.

00:57:56.000 Try and talk me away.

00:57:58.000 We can't be seen together.

00:58:00.000 Tough kids, what can I do?

00:58:02.000 I'm so pale and weak.

00:58:04.000 Rough fits in my hush puppy shoes, but I'm still pleading, pleading, bleeding, fining, whining, shining.

00:58:12.000 I want to see what I can find.

00:58:14.000 Oh yeah, he's checking him out in a video.

00:58:16.000 Let's see the video.

00:58:17.000 Oh.

00:58:20.000 Ew, he just, did he tap one of their feet with his feet?

00:58:23.000 Okay.

00:58:25.000 The way he was looking at him, the guy he was standing behind there, just looking him up and down.

00:58:30.000 This is from a woman's perspective. 0.91

00:58:31.000 Can you please put her in the video and have her eyeing the rough boys? 1.00

00:58:36.000 Don't fuck away!

00:58:37.000 Maybe he identifies as a woman.

00:58:40.000 We're going to call this episode Rough Boys.

00:58:46.000 It's like Joe Biden when he sniffs women. 0.95

00:58:49.000 When he sniffs women, and we were talking with that weird gay black guy, remember, that was on the show a million years ago? 1.00

00:58:55.000 And we're like, you see cute kids?

00:58:56.000 You think you want to high five of them and go, what's up, buddy?

00:58:59.000 Sniffing them is number 1,036 on the to-do list.

00:59:07.000 That means you're gay. 1.00

00:59:10.000 That's the best case scenario.

00:59:14.000 Yeah, if Gay's a step up from your song that you just made, that's... 0.82

00:59:18.000 Not a good look.

00:59:19.000 Not a good look.

00:59:21.000 Frankly, he's smelling the boys.

00:59:23.000 Oh, I saw these kids the other day, these skateboarders, they were out there, they were doing tricks, and security was chasing them, and they were like, fuck you, and they ran away.

00:59:33.000 I mean, these guys were nuts.

00:59:35.000 I just wanted to bite some of them, maybe on the forearm, and then just taste like their legs or their legs. 0.95

00:59:45.000 You know what I mean?

00:59:46.000 Yeah.

00:59:47.000 When you see guys out there up to no good, you're like, get over here, you.

00:59:50.000 Well, if they're rough boys, sure.

00:59:52.000 Just lick them. 1.00

00:59:57.000 No good.

00:59:58.000 No good.

00:59:59.000 Not easy to explain your way out of.

01:00:04.000 Oh, this is a retarded story. 0.99

01:00:07.000 This is from Mike, Portland PD doing weird shit.

01:00:10.000 Does this seem odd to you?

01:00:11.000 Also, look at the top reply to the tweet, LOL.

01:00:15.000 So it says, booking photo, lineup photo.

01:00:18.000 The Portland police used Photoshop to alter a defendant's photo to make him look more like a robbery suspect.

01:00:25.000 Now he'll be released from jail.

01:00:27.000 So at first glance, you go, well, that's corrupt.

01:00:30.000 What are they doing?

01:00:33.000 But I looked into this.

01:00:34.000 The guy was a serial bank robber, doing it again and again and again.

01:00:39.000 But when he would go up to the till, he would cover his tattoos with brown makeup.

01:00:46.000 I guess he's in blackface. 0.99

01:00:48.000 So when the police were looking for the guy, they didn't include the tattooed face.

01:00:55.000 They include the disguise, basically, that he was wearing.

01:00:59.000 But the judges went, oh, so you're photoshopping pictures now?

01:01:02.000 Case thrown out.

01:01:03.000 Oh, get the guy's robbed eight banks.

01:01:06.000 So they're basically defending his disguise.

01:01:09.000 They're like, no, that's not fair.

01:01:11.000 Don't.

01:01:12.000 Now, anyone who saw this booking photo would go, oh, it's not him.

01:01:15.000 That guy has tons of tattoos on his face.

01:01:17.000 Click on the link.

01:01:22.000 Rock boys.

01:01:23.000 Yeah, they put like hair and a beard on him.

01:01:25.000 They covered the tattoos.

01:01:27.000 Well, it's a little darker, so it's more beardy.

01:01:30.000 But yeah, you're right.

01:01:31.000 They did add hair.

01:01:32.000 But scroll down.

01:01:35.000 It was him, by the way.

01:01:37.000 Minor detail.

01:01:38.000 I'm not saying it isn't, but.

01:01:40.000 So this is him.

01:01:42.000 When he robs the banks.

01:01:44.000 His tattoos are covered up.

01:01:46.000 So if you're looking for the guy...

01:01:48.000 Yeah, like say I robbed a bank and then I shaved my beard off.

01:01:51.000 When you're putting out the can you find this guy, you're going to have me with a mustache on.

01:01:57.000 Abvi.

01:01:59.000 Dang.

01:02:00.000 Well, that's been done for years with guys would dress up as women and rob banks and they'll show the woman pick. 0.66

01:02:07.000 Yeah.

01:02:09.000 What are they praying for him now?

01:02:13.000 I want to bite and taste him.

01:02:16.000 Wait, did he say bite and taste or bite and bite and kiss?

01:02:20.000 Bite and kiss.

01:02:21.000 I want to bite and kiss them.

01:02:24.000 I love seeing rough boys.

01:02:26.000 Let me just triple confirm that.

01:02:31.000 I hate pleading, too.

01:02:32.000 Why are you pleading?

01:02:33.000 You sound like an old fag to me. 1.00

01:02:35.000 I want to bite and kiss you.

01:02:37.000 Yeah, Maddie's right.

01:02:37.000 I want to bite and kiss you.

01:02:40.000 Under the sheets.

01:02:41.000 Rough toys under the sheets.

01:02:43.000 Nobody knows her.

01:02:44.000 I don't even really want to do that to hot chicks. 1.00

01:02:49.000 Maybe I do.

01:02:50.000 Not a biter. 1.00

01:02:51.000 Yeah.

01:02:52.000 In my hush puppy piece.

01:02:53.000 Some girls that were into biting. 1.00

01:02:56.000 What is this?

01:02:57.000 In my hush puppy shoes.

01:02:58.000 Are those for men or women?

01:03:00.000 Well, he's saying he's so not a rough boy.

01:03:03.000 Oh.

01:03:04.000 Yeah.

01:03:05.000 But he's attracted to the rough boys.

01:03:07.000 That's why he wants to buy him leather.

01:03:09.000 Right.

01:03:10.000 Hush puppy shoes are like old man shoes.

01:03:12.000 Yeah.

01:03:12.000 They're comfortable orthopedic.

01:03:16.000 This is disturbing.

01:03:17.000 There's no way out of this.

01:03:19.000 He wrote a pedophile song.

01:03:21.000 Yeah.

01:03:21.000 Is this before lyrics were widely available?

01:03:24.000 Never ever really.

01:03:24.000 I'm trying to be open-minded here.

01:03:26.000 Attention to the lyrics, just the chords.

01:03:28.000 Rough boys, throughout my entire life, I've never heard.

01:03:32.000 The only way to do a song about rough boys is like, good work, rough boys.

01:03:35.000 Hope you get some pussy. 1.00

01:03:36.000 Anyway, bye.

01:03:39.000 Get up to mischief, you bad boys.

01:03:42.000 Not like, oh, I'm pleading.

01:03:44.000 I know you don't want to fuck me because I wear hush puppies. 0.98

01:03:48.000 Let me buy you leather.

01:03:50.000 Yeah.

01:03:52.000 Can I kick your poo cu? 1.00

01:03:56.000 What a fucking day.

01:03:59.000 It's kind of like, it's not even just a gay song.

01:04:01.000 Like, it's a submissive gay song. 1.00

01:04:04.000 Yeah.

01:04:04.000 So it's like a weird fetish gay song.

01:04:06.000 He is definitely the bottom.

01:04:14.000 Okay, last letter.

01:04:14.000 We got to wrap this up.

01:04:16.000 From Target.

01:04:19.000 This is David sending us a woke commercial.

01:04:23.000 What we value most should be held in our hands.

01:04:28.000 A trust that fuels us.

01:04:30.000 Baddies jogging. 0.50

01:04:33.000 Ethnically ambiguous children.

01:04:34.000 Black woman, of course. 1.00

01:04:37.000 Wait a minute, stop.

01:04:40.000 Black people don't need sunscreen. 1.00

01:04:43.000 I mean, I guess if a black woman really stayed out in the sun and lay there on a lawn chair for six hours, she might become a little darker. 1.00

01:04:54.000 Was that sunscreen or cocoa butter?

01:04:56.000 Oh, okay, go back.

01:04:59.000 We become the good, we can't afford to lose.

01:05:01.000 Go back.

01:05:04.000 A trust that fuels us to know exactly where we stand.

01:05:10.000 No, that looks like sunscreen to me.

01:05:12.000 Black girl sunscreen.

01:05:13.000 It says it on the.

01:05:14.000 Black girls don't need sunscreen. 1.00

01:05:16.000 Black girl sunscreen is just an empty bottle.

01:05:18.000 Actually, it's kind of racist.

01:05:19.000 It's just an empty bottle with a label.

01:05:22.000 It's just water.

01:05:24.000 Are you saying you don't want to be darker?

01:05:26.000 Isn't that racist of you?

01:05:28.000 We use sunscreen because we don't want to singe ourselves so we're peeling off giant sheets of skin.

01:05:34.000 That's painful.

01:05:35.000 And you can't sleep at night if you sunburn your back.

01:05:39.000 But you guys, you're African. 1.00

01:05:43.000 You're fine.

01:05:44.000 So the only excuse you have for sunscreen is because you don't want to be darker and that's racist.

01:05:50.000 A lot of melanin.

01:05:51.000 True.

01:05:53.000 Wow.

01:05:56.000 I remember I used to go to Costa Rica with my co-worker, Sarush Alve, from Vice, and he'd come back darker. 0.72

01:06:03.000 And his mother would be furious.

01:06:04.000 Oh, Sarush, what have you done? 0.78

01:06:06.000 You look so dark. 0.93

01:06:07.000 Because it's classism there.

01:06:16.000 Copywriting.

01:06:23.000 Well, they probably have the excuse of saying, well, it's not that we don't want to get dark or we don't want to get skin cancer.

01:06:30.000 But I think you need to get burned to get skin cancer.

01:06:34.000 I don't think it's bad when black people get dark.

01:06:36.000 I red that screen.

01:06:37.000 What?

01:06:38.000 I've been as red as that screen behind you.

01:06:41.000 Yeah.

01:06:41.000 Oh, when we were kids, you didn't wear, there was no sunscreen ever.

01:06:45.000 You just accepted.

01:06:47.000 You just made sure there was no sand in the bed because that made it much more painful.

01:06:52.000 I can remember being young, like 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and getting so sunburned that my back would be blisters.

01:07:00.000 And like you said, peeling pieces.

01:07:02.000 Oh, yeah.

01:07:02.000 And girls in the neighborhood would want to pop them and peel the skin.

01:07:06.000 I would sit there for hours with girls peeling sheets of skin off my back. 1.00

01:07:11.000 Well, that was the goal, to get the biggest piece you could.

01:07:14.000 Like if you got something like this, that was a major accomplishment.

01:07:17.000 I was like, hold on.

01:07:18.000 Start little.

01:07:19.000 Don't move, don't move, don't move, don't move.

01:07:22.000 Hours.

01:07:24.000 Yeah, that's skin cancer.

01:07:25.000 Young child.

01:07:27.000 That sucked.

01:07:28.000 So we're not making that the last letter.

01:07:30.000 Let's make this one from Rihanna. 0.97

01:07:34.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:07:35.000 I'm Ryguy.

01:07:35.000 Gavin, you changed my life.

01:07:37.000 At a time in my life when I was being convinced that a woman should prioritize her career above all else, your videos made me realize all I really wanted in life was just the opposite. 0.87

01:07:45.000 Nothing can make me happier than to be a wife and a mother.

01:07:49.000 I'm 27, dating very seriously.

01:07:52.000 However, a common attitude I'm coming across with men in their 30s is that they don't believe in marriage.

01:07:57.000 What they mean by that is they will live with you, they will be in a long-term relationship with you, they'll have kids with you, but they don't see the importance of a legal piece of paper that says you're married.

01:08:06.000 What would you say to a man that says they don't believe in marriage that would convince them of its importance?

01:08:12.000 Many thanks.

01:08:13.000 I like your new sunglasses.

01:08:14.000 Annie, just make it a deal breaker. 0.95

01:08:18.000 It's too easy to leave a woman that you're not married to.

01:08:21.000 It's just you're in a relationship and she has a kid.

01:08:25.000 I mean, they're still going to get fucked financially if it's more than 10 years, right?

01:08:28.000 But you should say to him, if it's no big deal, then let's just get married.

01:08:32.000 If it's just a silly piece of paper, then you shouldn't have a problem with it.

01:08:36.000 If I, and this is the woman talking, if I was at a thing where I like men to wear hats on Wednesdays and you go, that's stupid.

01:08:43.000 Well, if it's so stupid and nothing, pop a hat on on a Wednesday.

01:08:47.000 You said it's meaningless.

01:08:51.000 So you should be able to do it.

01:08:58.000 I think that's the way you have to do it because I'm not saying that marriage is the be-all and end-all and your life is meaningless without it, but it's sort of like not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim.

01:09:11.000 Not all deadbeats that aren't going to be there for you are against marriage.

01:09:15.000 But wait a minute.

01:09:17.000 Not everyone who gets married is going to be a great husband and never stab you in the back, but the deadbeats are all anti-marriage.

01:09:24.000 So you just got to do it.

01:09:25.000 I suggest marriage rape. 1.00

01:09:27.000 And I feel like I'm betraying my gender here by giving all these tips.

01:09:33.000 The why of things.

01:09:37.000 But my buddy Tracy, she said to her friend Dan, what kind of wedding ring are you going to get?

01:09:43.000 What should we do?

01:09:44.000 And he said, well, I'd want to use my grandmother's wedding ring.

01:09:47.000 And she goes, well, I'd love to see it.

01:09:49.000 She's always talking about marriage, by the way.

01:09:51.000 And he goes, okay, I'll bring it back.

01:09:53.000 So next time he sees her, he's brought it back from his grandmother's house.

01:09:56.000 And she goes, oh my God, thank you.

01:09:58.000 I do.

01:09:58.000 And she put it on and accepted his proposal.

01:10:01.000 Hilarious.

01:10:01.000 Wow.

01:10:02.000 She marriage raped him. 1.00

01:10:04.000 And they had a kid.

01:10:05.000 I'm not going to say it went great.

01:10:07.000 That ruins the story.

01:10:09.000 So don't ask me if they're still together.

01:10:11.000 Wow.

01:10:12.000 A fucking woman, boss. 1.00

01:10:16.000 But yeah, you got to play hardball as a lady. 1.00

01:10:18.000 And all this shit about, it's just a piece of paper.

01:10:21.000 It's a major change.

01:10:23.000 What do you think, Maddie?

01:10:24.000 It's a milestone.

01:10:25.000 Definitely.

01:10:26.000 Now, you're divorced?

01:10:27.000 Yes.

01:10:29.000 Should you have not gotten married?

01:10:31.000 No, I loved it.

01:10:33.000 Like, we didn't get divorced due to like infidelity or anything.

01:10:36.000 We got divorced.

01:10:38.000 I would say I was 22, 23, and my wife was 19 at the time.

01:10:46.000 And we were married seven years.

01:10:49.000 How soon did you have a kid?

01:10:51.000 Right away.

01:10:52.000 Were you a biker?

01:10:54.000 I mean, she made me sell my motorcycle.

01:10:57.000 Were you in the Hells Angels at the time?

01:10:59.000 No.

01:10:59.000 Oh.

01:11:00.000 No.

01:11:01.000 But I've been riding motorcycles since I'm 10 years old.

01:11:05.000 She was a little unhappy with my motorcycles because she had a cousin that was very near and dear to her that died in a motorcycle wreck.

01:11:14.000 Okay.

01:11:14.000 So to try to pass a fire, I sold the bikes that I had at the time.

01:11:19.000 But I always rode.

01:11:21.000 And so why did it fall apart?

01:11:24.000 We grew apart as people.

01:11:26.000 Like, we had different directions we wanted to go.

01:11:30.000 You know, Chuck Zito says, I spent too much time at the club with the boys.

01:11:36.000 I neglected my marriage.

01:11:38.000 I didn't spend time with my daughter, I think it was.

01:11:41.000 And he goes, I ruined the marriage.

01:11:44.000 Everyone's walking on eggshells when they talk about Chuck Zito.

01:11:46.000 I mean, that's in his book.

01:11:48.000 I'm not.

01:11:49.000 That's in his book, Street Justice.

01:11:50.000 Yeah.

01:11:51.000 That's when he had the Nurse LMC, I believe.

01:11:55.000 And he told the story that he was going to show up on this day to go riding with the boys.

01:12:00.000 And he told his wife at the time, no, you can't come.

01:12:03.000 It's just the guys.

01:12:04.000 And when he showed up, the two other guys had their wives with them.

01:12:08.000 Oh, shit.

01:12:09.000 Yeah.

01:12:11.000 But that's it.

01:12:11.000 Like you said, it's in his book.

01:12:12.000 It's public knowledge.

01:12:14.000 Yeah.

01:12:14.000 So was that a part of your problem?

01:12:17.000 No, no, no, no.

01:12:18.000 My wife would never get on a motorcycle. 1.00

01:12:20.000 My wife.

01:12:21.000 No, but I mean, spending too much time with the guys, with the club, with whatever.

01:12:26.000 In future relationships, yeah.

01:12:28.000 But not with the wife.

01:12:29.000 I'd be like, I'll be home in three days.

01:12:31.000 But didn't you go to prison while you were married to her?

01:12:34.000 No, no, no.

01:12:35.000 I got divorced in 2001.

01:12:37.000 Oh, and you were clean as a whistle back then?

01:12:40.000 No, I was actually in jail doing a year in county jail when I got divorced October 2001.

01:12:48.000 Wait, she dumped you while you were in prison?

01:12:50.000 No, no, no, no.

01:12:52.000 Because that's...

01:12:53.000 We had a guy on the show, Mike Kimmelman.

01:12:55.000 He did two years for insider trading, which I think he was innocent.

01:13:00.000 Yeah.

01:13:00.000 And she dumped him after a year.

01:13:02.000 No, no, no.

01:13:03.000 Just in New York State, it takes a year to get for the paperwork to go through because they want you to kind of try and reconcile.

01:13:10.000 But I would say.

01:13:13.000 So we're just not getting the gossip out of you is what I'm saying.

01:13:16.000 No, I was in jail.

01:13:18.000 I forget for what at the time.

01:13:19.000 I could go back through my rap sheet and look at it.

01:13:21.000 But in 2001, October, when it was finalized, I was actually incarcerated.

01:13:29.000 And how old was your kid?

01:13:31.000 2001.

01:13:32.000 He was six.

01:13:34.000 Huh.

01:13:34.000 He was born in 1990.

01:13:36.000 Sounds like we could do a whole show on this.

01:13:37.000 1990.

01:13:38.000 Oh, listen.

01:13:39.000 We go through my whole rap sheet if you want.

01:13:41.000 I don't care less.

01:13:44.000 So don't use Maddie as an example.

01:13:47.000 No.

01:13:47.000 That was a freak occurrence.

01:13:50.000 The guy was involved in crime.

01:13:51.000 That's not.

01:13:52.000 That's certainly not this guy here.

01:13:54.000 But Annie, you got to get a ring on it.

01:13:59.000 It's really important.

01:14:00.000 And if this guy says it's a meaningless piece of paper, then he shouldn't have a problem with going to get it.

01:14:05.000 You can go to the courthouse and everything.

01:14:06.000 That's fine.

01:14:08.000 Still works.

01:14:09.000 But when I got married to my wife, you know, her parents flew down there.

01:14:14.000 Like, we're making a serious decision here.

01:14:18.000 And to bail a year later would be I fucked over all of these people who came there and wasted their time for some bullshit.

01:14:26.000 No.

01:14:27.000 That's why when people have second marriage, the dad doesn't have to pay for it and no one has to go.

01:14:32.000 Because we already put all your eggs in the first basket.

01:14:35.000 Well, traditionally, it's supposed to be the bride's father who pays for the wedding.

01:14:40.000 Right, but he doesn't have to do that more than once.

01:14:42.000 No, I wouldn't.

01:14:43.000 Fuck that.

01:14:44.000 But I'm talking to you here on a human level.

01:14:46.000 On a human level.

01:14:47.000 I saw this great meme this morning that said how to arrest an Italian, and it was handcuffs over this part of the hand. 0.99

01:14:54.000 Hilarious.

01:14:56.000 I can't fucking express myself.

01:15:00.000 All right, folks, that's from the mailbag special edition here in the holiday weeks.

01:15:06.000 We don't want to deprive you of quality content, so we pre-record these.

01:15:11.000 We're also a little insecure and worried that you'll go get your pussy from someone else. 0.99

01:15:17.000 We want you to only bite and kiss us and no one else.

01:15:22.000 We want to be your only rough boys.

01:15:25.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 26, 2021

S04E15 - FROM THE MAILBAG 1

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