Greg Wycliffe - November 04, 2021


If Mountain Guides Were Honest


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

136.1735

Word Count

1,237

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 good morning welcome to our first guides meeting of the season I know we're all
00:00:11.040 super stoked to get back on those mountains but remember guys we're
00:00:15.440 professionals the pandemic has been tough on us guides Parks Canada shuttered the
00:00:20.760 mountain the crew has been cashing in on the CERB it's hard to believe that any
00:00:25.320 of us would be considered non-essential now here are today's assignments newbie
00:00:30.840 your group will be going to shades of beauty I'll be taking my group to
00:00:34.560 virtual reality and Billy you'll be taking your group to transparent fool
00:00:39.420 sound good hey can we go over some safety guidelines or talk about the
00:00:43.500 current weather warnings that we're seeing today
00:00:46.980 oh man good one newbie
00:00:50.500 now because of all that time under lockdown there's a lot of money to make up for
00:01:05.960 and as such the association has recommended two changes to our programming this season
00:01:11.300 number one to get as many people on the hills as possible
00:01:14.660 we're going with a safety second approach and number two to deal with any
00:01:19.760 issues that may come up because of this we've hired a liaison to act between us
00:01:24.740 the mountain guides and our mountain guests may I introduce to you guys miss
00:01:29.900 constru thank you guides days sometimes end badly with hindsight every accident is
00:01:40.280 preventable but why dwell on that as the mountains infinite combinations dial will
00:01:47.660 spin and spin so will we at the Association we spin the story if something
00:01:54.520 goes wrong on the mountain we spin the story to ensure no legal action can be
00:01:59.060 taken and to safeguard the reputation of the Association while we can't
00:02:04.160 technically endorse cutting ropes or leaving a guest defend for themselves we can
00:02:09.140 certainly help you contain any situation you find yourself in times were a lot
00:02:14.240 tougher before miss constru came on board these gappers and I mean these
00:02:18.460 clients just can't fathom the danger matrix of avalanches lightning falling rocks
00:02:23.840 bears falling trees but miss constru puts things into our perspective she's
00:02:29.840 going to be an integral part of our industry let's review our post critical
00:02:33.920 incident response protocol that is what our clients and general public think we
00:02:40.640 do this is what we really do what does our legal team always say silence is golden
00:02:50.180 that's right see something say nothing the Association and our insurance lawyers will
00:02:57.540 work in concert to deflect and defend you incidents are always the mountains
00:03:02.600 fault when in doubt blame the mountain blame the mountain blame the mountain
00:03:08.240 once you've learned and recited the official story of the incident you will
00:03:13.040 unlock new opportunities as a mountain guide you may even get your next
00:03:17.480 certifications for free I had an incident outing once it was something minor
00:03:22.700 several people died it was definitely a long day I thought I'd lose my guiding
00:03:27.740 license my sponsorships I definitely thought my lodge was in jeopardy but they
00:03:32.720 actually made a promotional film about me the best thing to do following a fatal
00:03:42.620 incident is to put you in the spotlight and ensure others can admire you nothing
00:03:49.280 establishes you more as an expert than writing magazine articles and being on a
00:03:53.960 speaker panel did people just get injured because of my risk analysis I'm on an
00:03:59.660 expert speaker panel is everyone clear on their objectives for the day super time to
00:04:07.400 meet your client welcome everyone to the first day of your mountaineering
00:04:24.380 adventure before we get to your questions let's review the waiver by signing this you
00:04:31.780 acknowledge how inherently dangerous and deadly the mountains are you release your
00:04:37.960 guide from any and all harm once you leave the comfort of our four-star lodge
00:04:44.740 clients are somewhere on the spectrum from naive to arrogant and that is why I
00:04:51.220 must protect the guides at all costs so what's this part the part about the
00:04:56.920 guides needing to be released from negligence let's take a look at that that's just
00:05:05.380 standard boilerplate legalese it's fine they call me a client liaison but I
00:05:13.000 basically act as a diversion agent so what happens when the guy makes a mistake
00:05:17.920 yes and any other questions I just yeah I just asked what happens if the guy makes a
00:05:24.940 mistake sorry is there anyone else with a question no okay so moving on seriously so
00:05:33.400 is there anyone here dabbling in photography any adventure writers or social media
00:05:39.640 influencers good good you know there will be a lot of opportunities if you just
00:05:46.660 listen to your guides and follow their lead lots of opportunity this is how we
00:05:53.320 groom those we like to call sympathizers in an emergency and especially in the
00:05:58.520 aftermath these folks are instrumental in rewriting history hey where are
00:06:03.880 backpacks where the hell are we supposed to put our safety equipment we at the
00:06:08.300 Association believe that wearing a backpack in an avalanche terrain just isn't
00:06:13.480 safe that is why you will all be issued this communication device communication
00:06:19.780 device packs are no longer suggested to be worn on climbs as you are in danger of
00:06:25.240 being dislodged from your stance in the case of an avalanche hi I'm your favorite
00:06:30.340 red diamond and black bull sponsored athlete and today's mountaineering
00:06:34.600 adventure is brought to you by shpeeps the latest technology and safety
00:06:39.640 equipment super reliable 200% of the time have a problem on the mountain just press
00:06:46.020 this button why would you pack and carry safety equipment with you when you can
00:06:50.160 call in the safety equipment for drone delivery and every order comes with a
00:06:56.100 complimentary six-pack of black bull each of your devices have been connected
00:07:00.660 to your credit cards for easy processing with this device you're never alone you
00:07:07.620 know the last time I came from one of these outings my wife told me the rumor
00:07:11.580 bodies being left in a woodshed fucking a dumb one my wife bought me this
00:07:16.260 Kevlar jacket with the whole body camera and a pocket knife but now I'm kind of
00:07:19.920 glad she forced me to wear it and lastly don't forget to have fun hope so
00:07:41.580 yes I understand your sister will no longer walk again okay have you have
00:07:48.960 you even thought about what our mountain guides are going through right now the
00:07:52.920 feelings of the guides are more important than anyone else's need to know
00:07:57.540 incident reports are voluntary and anonymous at the Association so members
00:08:02.520 don't have to report an incident if they don't want to and if they do well all
00:08:06.840 documents are privileged so good luck to any guest who wants to get their hands
00:08:11.820 on them I'm so sorry that the mountain took your husband away from you I mean
00:08:18.460 there's no other explanation of what happened really we all would have been
00:08:24.360 there no there's nothing that could have been done differently to change the
00:08:28.640 outcome since the conception of the Association after an incident we always
00:08:34.080 just send out our own people to investigate there's a motto we use in
00:08:38.260 Latin name oh you decks in cal so sua we have judged ourselves and have done no
00:08:44.220 wrong hello CNN yeah listen accidents happen okay it's important to remember
00:08:49.920 that after the incident everyone did their best the truth of this cannot be
00:08:56.160 underestimated if things go wrong it's an act of God and if things go right
00:09:01.860 please tip your guide