Justin Trudeau is Superman ｜ CANADA NOW - ep3
Episode Stats
Words per minute
179.14496
Harmful content
Misogyny
1
sentences flagged
Hate speech
3
sentences flagged
Summary
Justin Trudeau thinks your tax dollars can help save the world. We re headed into an economic depression here in Canada, but not to worry, our Prime Minister is going to help you with your homework. This is Canada Now, hosted by Greg Wycliffe.
Transcript
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Justin Trudeau thinks your tax dollars can help save the world.
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We're headed into an economic depression here in Canada, but not to worry,
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our Prime Minister is going to help you with your homework.
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Canadians have lost over 3 million jobs so far since the beginning of this COVID-19 lockdown,
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with 2 million of those coming from the last month of April alone.
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Faced with this grave uncertainty, Justin Trudeau posed the crucial question,
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what's a job? You see, after someone explained to him the concept of jobs and that there's this
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whole economy outside of bartending and being a ski instructor, Justin Trudeau was horrified to
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discover that many Canadians don't grow up with two nannies. Horrifying.
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Unprecedented, unprecedented, unprecedented. You see, in these uncertain and some would say
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unprecedented times, our favorite Laurentian elite has made it a priority to renovate his second
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home with 8.6 million taxpayer dollars. But guys, it's not that Justin is an entitled rich kid who
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doesn't respect hard work and the value of money. It's just that your business, your income that
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supports your family is not as important as Sophie getting her new crown moldings.
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These are significant steps and we will do more.
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But in Justin's defense, in his mind, this renovation, he's creating jobs. You see,
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from what I can tell, the liberal philosophy is very simple. How do you create more jobs?
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Spend taxpayer money. How do we get people to vote for us? Spend taxpayer money. How do we prevent
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people from asking us tough questions? Spend taxpayer money. Because any consistent criticism will have
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the whole liberal brand crumbling like a house of cards. But the liberals have spent so much money
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leading up to the last election and during this lockdown crisis that they don't even know how much debt
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we have. What is the size of our current national debt? The Honorable Minister. And Mr. Speaker,
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I think that what will happen as we do that is we will allow ourselves to have a stronger economy at
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the end because of these investments. Probably have a trillion dollars. Yes or no? The Honorable
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Minister. Mr. Speaker, as I said, we will continue to focus on the importance of supporting Canadians.
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I feel like we're stuck in a very bad episode of The Apprentice, except the guy in charge has great hair.
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Everybody who's actually competent has been fired. And instead of a failed business challenge on a
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reality TV show, our economy is ruined. And that's a continuing commitment, Mr. Speaker.
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And for anyone wondering if this fiscal irresponsibility is anything new, it's not. Back in August 2019,
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the liberal government in one week alone announced 4.9 billion dollars in spending, conveniently just
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days before they called for the election. What a coincidence. Out of these over 500 announcements,
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there are businesses like Pan Ang Pharma, Marcon Metal Fab, and Weaver Apps. If you're a business
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owner, you might be wondering why you're not on that list. The answer is simple. With this liberal
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government, they clearly pick winners and losers. And when it comes to people who got swindled into voting
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for the Liberal Party again, and they're not directly profiting from their policies and spending,
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boy, are there a lot of losers. In other news, despite not even knowing our national debt or the
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future forecast of our job market, Justin Trudeau announced 850 million dollars to spend outside of
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Canada to help the world fight the coronavirus. We need to take care of ourselves and take care of
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the rest of the world as well. Take care of ourselves by taking care of the rest of the world.
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When I was young, I came up with some pretty crafty excuses for asking for money from my parents,
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but this is some next-level stuff. Hey mom, can I borrow $20? I'm going to save the world.
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But let's face it, the only thing bigger than Justin Trudeau's ambition is the hole in his frontal lobe.
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But you gotta understand, many economic experts are saying we may very well be headed into a Great
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Depression. But that won't stop Trudeau from encouraging you to stay home and be safe and
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don't listen to your evil capitalist employer. I mean, all this talk about supply and demand is
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so boring anyway. Justin Trudeau would much rather focus on what's important and what he's good at.
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Hey kids, if you've encountered challenges or problems that are really tough and you need a little
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Bad posture aside and strange implication that Justin is starting to act like our daddy
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aside, you gotta be in awe of Justin here. Not only can he save the world from the coronavirus,
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but he can even help your kid with their homework. Is there anything Justin Trudeau can't do?
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Well, he can't balance the budget. He can't keep his promise about electoral reform. He can't make
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a profit from legalizing weed. He can't build a pipeline to save our oil and gas industry. He can't
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even remember how many times he wore blackface. He can't stand up to China or Canadian lives that have
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been killed or imprisoned. He can't be transparent. He can't explain himself. He can't answer questions.
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When it comes to representing Canada on the world stage, he can't get any respect. He can't keep
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women in power positions if they disagree with him. He can't stop rubbing shoulders with human
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rights abusers. He can't stop campaigning for a security council seat at the UN. And he just can't
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stop himself from driving this once great country into the ground. But your kid's math homework,
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oh, he's all over it. And I know many naive Canadians who have been pumped with propaganda
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will say, Greg, he's doing his best. He's doing his best. This is a phrase you might direct at
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somebody like Forrest Gump or Gilbert Grape or the kid from your high school who would always pick
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pennies off the floor in the cafeteria. I have the most respect for the penny kid, by the way.
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But Justin Trudeau doing his best. Don't forget, this is a guy who said to a Canadian veteran who
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lost his leg fighting for the freedoms of this country, he looked him in the eye and said,
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you're asking for more than we're able to give. If you think Canada with Justin Trudeau is doing
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its best, we're fucked. This is Canada now. Thanks for watching.
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I got a little heated there. I know. A little fucking heated. Yourself?