Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E113 ERIK GRIFFIN THE COMEDIAN - IMPAULSIVE EP. 113

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00:01:53.680 Halloween. He gets right up next to the

00:01:55.620 microphone. I hear you can almost

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00:02:12.320 It's like a transvestite

00:02:13.560 because from a distance you're like

00:02:15.580 oh, what do we have?

00:02:17.860 Yeah.

00:02:19.180 And then you take a bite and you're like, is that dick?

00:02:23.680 what is that you know so i don't know

00:02:27.500 i've been coughing non-stop can't stop coughing it's like a little tickle like there's a small

00:02:39.680 little man in the back of my throat it's all the alcohol it's all the booze getting out of your

00:02:42.620 system i think it's the booze got to be oh what i'm getting at is this you guys would you guys

00:02:47.480 want to start with a voice exercise today not really i didn't want to either i was just asking

00:02:51.820 if you guys wanted to.

00:02:52.640 Yeah, I was kind of, you know.

00:02:55.100 Anyways.

00:02:55.800 Welcome back to Impulsive,

00:02:56.640 the number one podcast in the world.

00:02:57.820 Thank you guys for listening,

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00:03:05.800 We do an extended audio Q&A

00:03:07.060 with the guests

00:03:07.520 after the visual is done.

00:03:08.920 What's up, boys?

00:03:09.500 I'm asexual.

00:03:10.260 I'm just going to say it.

00:03:10.940 I'll dive right in.

00:03:12.020 You're pregnant?

00:03:13.240 What?

00:03:13.720 Are you pregnant?

00:03:14.100 That's not what that means.

00:03:15.280 No, yeah, it is.

00:03:15.900 Yeah, it is.

00:03:16.560 Asexual means, I'm pretty sure.

00:03:18.040 Or is that where you like guys?

00:03:19.780 Or is that when you like guys angers?

00:03:21.320 No, no, no, no, no.

00:03:22.240 That's pros, I don't know.

00:03:24.080 Pro-sexual.

00:03:24.520 Bro, asexual.

00:03:25.480 This has happened to me once in my life before.

00:03:28.480 And I don't know if it's like something I should be like shy about

00:03:31.640 and maybe not just say on the number one podcast in the world.

00:03:33.860 But when I was about 21 years old, for a six-month period,

00:03:38.460 George Janko and Mark Doner, my best friends,

00:03:41.400 they were like, yo, you aren't into girls and you aren't into guys.

00:03:45.480 You're asexual.

00:03:46.280 like we don't think you have any sexual preferences or tendencies for anything and i sort of feel it

00:03:52.500 happening now where dude my libido is is so low i have no desire i'm to have sex dude i swear to god

00:04:04.120 i think i think the london abisa london bender yeah just flushed it out of my system and maybe

00:04:09.920 because i'm sober now too by the way day like 10 of sobriety how are you guys how are you guys

00:04:14.540 feeling honestly good bro and by the way just quick note on it you guys look like no like

00:04:19.020 legit there's smiles emitting from your body oh maybe that's the invisalign i will i will come

00:04:24.360 out and say this dude i'm on the exact opposite side of the spectrum i dude it's the only thing

00:04:29.600 i care about bro i can't stop fucking dude i've been i've been just in the fucking zone for like

00:04:34.520 six days now i told you i'm on like 22 nuts in the past he said his dick is on standby because

00:04:39.740 stand by because no antidepressants that thing was just sucking the libido right onto me

00:04:44.200 the booze was making putting me into a deep dark hole you guys found you you found your mojo dude

00:04:49.560 you i lost the mojo but here's here's what you steal did you go back in time and steal his mojo

00:04:55.160 from a cryogenic frozen chamber i have another i have another quick let me know i just want to

00:05:00.040 have another quick first get it uh here's what i want to say about being asexual it's it's i can't

00:05:07.620 decide if it's good or bad uh i think it's good because like my my productivity has risen and my

00:05:14.680 relationships with people specifically girls are no longer driven by the desire to to have sexual

00:05:21.060 intercourse with them which i think is good like when i speak i make sure i'm speaking to provide

00:05:25.880 the person i'm talking to the utmost value that i can in their lives and when i'm receiving uh

00:05:32.280 energy from people and just like hearing and listening to them talk i make sure that like

00:05:36.040 this is going to be a conversation that's helping my life isn't the isn't kind of the

00:05:39.640 purpose of asexual to not see things as good or bad partially i'm gonna look so you're trying to

00:05:45.960 label it without sexual feelings or associations like bro like when i talked to a girl literally

00:05:51.780 two weeks ago when i was talking to a girl that i thought was like cute or whatever like i'd have

00:05:55.340 like an agenda let's be honest i'd have a boner yeah a boner agenda and now it's like i'm just

00:06:01.660 i'm speaking to everyone the same male female dog cat rat this is good i really like where this is

00:06:08.540 going can i throw another word out at you i love sapiosexual oh can i define pull it up because i

00:06:13.680 think you may have become a sapiosexual define sapiosexual sapiosexual finding intelligence

00:06:19.140 sexually attractive or arousing yes okay yes but does that but does that would that transfer

00:06:25.160 meaning like you'd want to eventually have sex with yes yes it does i don't i don't even get

00:06:28.940 there bro because you've been hanging out with a bunch of idiots bro that's the real reason hey

00:06:33.760 all right maybe it's not true but you will say sometimes i'll be like yo don't you don't you

00:06:37.200 think she's hot like don't and you always say to me well she's pretty of course and she's got

00:06:41.820 sexual appeal but most of all she's extremely talented you're turned on by talent dude you

00:06:47.480 just are you're an ohio boy just turned on my talent i love talent bro which is great well

00:06:52.900 we're in hollywood there's a lot of talented people yeah i've always dude i'm telling you

00:06:56.740 I've always seen you as the 50-year-old meditating in the mountains.

00:07:00.220 You guys doubted it.

00:07:01.360 I see the path.

00:07:02.420 It's unfolding.

00:07:03.020 Yeah, man, I still don't see it.

00:07:04.340 It's unfolding, bro.

00:07:05.240 You're just going to be a wizard.

00:07:06.400 You go from A to C, bro.

00:07:07.480 I'm telling you.

00:07:08.240 Dude, I'm 50 years ahead of you.

00:07:09.960 You just don't even see it yet.

00:07:10.940 I'm just grinding.

00:07:11.600 You just don't even see it yet.

00:07:12.600 I'm going to bed at midnight.

00:07:13.780 I'm sleeping nine hours a day.

00:07:14.760 It's all good.

00:07:15.220 Soon you're going to be levitating in a mountain in the Himalayas.

00:07:17.560 I promise you.

00:07:18.080 I promise you.

00:07:18.460 My ability to put up with obnoxious girls because of my boner agenda

00:07:25.900 used to be high dude

00:07:27.100 dude the boner misleads you

00:07:28.480 and now it's

00:07:29.160 I'm out bro

00:07:30.660 I'll leave

00:07:31.400 if I'm not in a situation

00:07:32.360 I'm like yo

00:07:33.180 like I'm

00:07:33.660 I'm gaining nothing from this

00:07:35.380 you're thinking with your big head

00:07:36.560 hashtag

00:07:37.140 I'm thinking with my big old

00:07:38.540 for once in your fucking life

00:07:39.840 hashtag

00:07:40.260 dethrone the boner

00:07:41.900 ah

00:07:42.580 I don't know

00:07:43.220 debone the throner

00:07:44.320 debone the throner

00:07:45.040 please make that hashtag trend

00:07:46.860 I don't know how you're gonna

00:07:47.680 fucking do it

00:07:48.360 but if you can make

00:07:49.100 debone the

00:07:49.720 no dethrone the boner trend

00:07:51.460 we'll bring you on

00:07:52.340 and Paul Sam

00:07:52.780 I'm not even fucking kidding

00:07:53.760 cause you're a social media maven

00:07:55.640 Hey, you were going to say something before the show,

00:07:58.900 and we kind of got sidetracked.

00:08:00.140 Yeah, I had a night, what, the horror story with the DM?

00:08:02.080 No, the DM, yeah, yeah.

00:08:03.000 Yeah, it's been fucking a nightmare, dude.

00:08:04.500 I was on the night shift, and you fucking,

00:08:07.020 there's a girl that everyone on this show and the night shift

00:08:10.560 know I have a huge digital crush on.

00:08:12.100 She's just in another level above all the other girls

00:08:14.300 I love in this world.

00:08:15.180 And I finally saw an opportunity to shoot my shot

00:08:17.220 this past weekend.

00:08:18.620 I shot at the UFC fight.

00:08:19.620 There was so much going on.

00:08:20.880 And I fucking shot when there was too much defense still.

00:08:23.940 Like, Dikemio Mutombo was still standing there with his hands here.

00:08:25.860 I was waiting for him.

00:08:26.540 You just got swatted.

00:08:27.240 No, no, no.

00:08:27.820 Not in my house.

00:08:29.100 And I just shot it up, dude.

00:08:30.300 And it was the worst shot.

00:08:31.480 It was almost like an over the head, like behind the back.

00:08:33.380 The art of DM and texting is, it is a finesse, dude.

00:08:38.200 Like, and by the way, I'm going to pat myself on the back here.

00:08:41.460 I'm a sick texter, dude.

00:08:42.880 Like, I'm on Google Images.

00:08:45.280 I'm finding stuff.

00:08:46.060 I'm sending voice memos.

00:08:47.260 I'm doing the animojis, GIFs, everything, bro.

00:08:49.580 I'm creative.

00:08:50.080 I'm witty.

00:08:50.360 I'm quick, bro.

00:08:51.160 Like, I'll spend 10 minutes concocting the perfect text.

00:08:53.660 Just to make a girl laugh and smile

00:08:55.620 You fell into the trap

00:08:57.960 Easy

00:08:58.300 I am a 99%

00:09:02.480 Shooter

00:09:02.980 Because the clout was one

00:09:06.800 People know

00:09:08.960 Her name is Julia Rose

00:09:10.720 It's Julia Rose

00:09:12.220 Get it fucking right

00:09:13.380 Show some respect

00:09:14.980 How did you get swatted?

00:09:16.320 I said some dumb shit that was too long winded

00:09:19.320 I'm usually very playful and by the way

00:09:21.040 Dismissive and just chill about the whole situation

00:09:23.260 and i fucking shot a shot that was contested it got swatted away like a fucking fly in chef katie's

00:09:28.940 kitchen and and logan went even one step further and convinced me to fucking delete it bro it was

00:09:34.620 whack as fuck bro like i'm i'm i was it like he was like ashamed of me i was on send messages all

00:09:41.800 day and by the way i'm on that wave i'm terrified i'm terrified for when i have a true blow up in

00:09:48.640 like two years and then people girls are going to screenshot dms that i've sent them that like

00:09:53.780 they left me on scene they're gonna be like look when this is a segue i don't know i think you've

00:09:57.660 got so many out there that it might be respected this is an incredible segue but let me put one

00:10:02.380 pin in it before i have stared the shit back to course we're working on it avidly he's showing

00:10:07.060 me no fucking faith whatsoever i got it i relax which can you tell me something that means you

00:10:13.560 believe that makes me feel like you believe in me in the situation i don't care just say it anyways

00:10:17.100 you got this

00:10:18.180 thank you

00:10:18.840 and it's so fucking real

00:10:20.280 the way you said it bro

00:10:21.260 alright so

00:10:21.680 this is the segue

00:10:23.120 I want to bring our guest on

00:10:24.240 but Eric

00:10:24.840 I'm so sorry

00:10:25.360 we do have a lot

00:10:26.180 just a lot of

00:10:27.100 two more quick things

00:10:28.000 yeah two more quick things

00:10:28.780 be careful

00:10:30.880 what you say

00:10:31.820 when you DM

00:10:32.580 or text people

00:10:33.660 is there

00:10:34.120 wait a second

00:10:35.340 bro

00:10:36.220 I

00:10:36.800 when a girl

00:10:38.220 like

00:10:38.700 not just a girl

00:10:40.420 if I have a girlfriend

00:10:41.240 and she is sexting me bro

00:10:42.880 my responses

00:10:44.280 I know this is gonna be

00:10:45.200 way boring

00:10:45.760 my responses

00:10:46.780 to like a sexually charged message are neutral even if it's a girlfriend because i am afraid

00:10:53.800 of getting hacked whether whether it's on my iCloud or uh Instagram and my my message is

00:11:01.040 leaking it doesn't translate well what you say sexually and a message when it's exposed to the

00:11:06.440 world that is a very five years later that's a not even that's a very intimate thing right

00:11:11.020 our friend this is tricky for me because he's our friend good friend true jordy uh got did he get

00:11:18.860 hacked do we know i don't even know and by the way his dams got leaked it's an evolving situation

00:11:23.340 he was gonna pull the the the message up but it is it is i can't i read him before i i can't bro

00:11:29.580 i read him before i got i came on the show and i was like like i just they're pretty they're pretty

00:11:35.760 the graphic at what point at what point do we have to uh you know just keep this stuff off the

00:11:41.460 internet what are you saying spencer like just let's go back into person where there's no to

00:11:46.520 each no way to document no i'm not saying it's bad i'm not saying don't do it i'm not telling

00:11:50.480 people what to do i'm just saying if you're gonna be diplomatic right if you're gonna understand

00:11:54.300 the game at what point do we unplug and we dive back into into reality into communication so

00:12:00.380 nobody can track that no it's probably both you can do both okay here's what's your take because

00:12:05.260 people have been i've never had so many people on twitter ask for my take i don't know why people

00:12:08.520 align my take with some freakdom but i'm gonna i'm gonna say something really quick okay say

00:12:13.020 one i agree with spencer in one respect keep the shit off the fucking internet find like just like

00:12:18.920 you out of self-protection and also just because it's not the kind of person i am i don't i don't

00:12:23.660 send shit that's like i'm gonna stick my whole arm in your yes yes i don't say i don't send it

00:12:27.940 quick benchmark which quick benchmark also if you're trying to like uh impress a girl it's

00:12:32.940 almost cool when you don't if she sends you a sexually charged message and it's cool if you

00:12:37.080 don't hop on it like 99% you don't yeah yeah yeah yeah but you don't dunk right away but i do want

00:12:43.280 and and that's the only thing i'll say like anti the whole situation because to be completely

00:12:46.980 honest with you i'm riding majority on this thing listen after 30 so on years of life you're just

00:12:52.480 not fucking turned on by the simple missionary you know grabbing butt like that kind of stuff

00:12:56.420 you got to do some freaky leak shit and every other group in this world is protected right now

00:13:01.240 I can't fat shame.

00:13:02.480 I can't slut shame, girls.

00:13:04.100 I can't shame fucking anybody.

00:13:05.600 So why are you people freak shaming my boy, Jordy?

00:13:08.200 Jordy, get your freak on, boy.

00:13:10.220 Nobody's judging you.

00:13:11.040 I'm riding with you, bro.

00:13:12.300 Just try your best to maybe not fucking write it so graphically.

00:13:15.740 Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong.

00:13:16.860 He didn't do anything wrong.

00:13:17.760 It just got him.

00:13:18.980 It's just a little too freaky.

00:13:20.260 No, it's not too freaky on whose standards.

00:13:22.580 It's just like it's embarrassing is the only thing I'd say.

00:13:24.660 Like, you know, everyone has their own sexual preferences.

00:13:28.540 And like, you know, some of the stuff he was talking about.

00:13:31.680 Not for me, bro.

00:13:32.520 All of it, actually.

00:13:33.900 It's for me, but in action, not in writing.

00:13:37.500 Like, I probably do all the shit he taught.

00:13:39.460 Who the fuck knows?

00:13:40.600 But I'm not going to write about it.

00:13:41.940 I'm going to talk about it on the podcast.

00:13:43.080 I'm so curious as to what he wrote.

00:13:44.460 You guys have really sold me.

00:13:45.940 I can't wait to see him and just dap him up and be like, yo.

00:13:49.100 He didn't know it was like that.

00:13:50.720 Better man than me, brother.

00:13:52.080 Better man than me.

00:13:54.500 All right, guys.

00:13:55.520 Let's bring the guest on.

00:13:56.560 We have some more stuff to talk about.

00:13:58.240 Let's do it with Iman.

00:13:59.620 All right, guys.

00:14:00.100 You know him from Workaholics and a slew of other TV appearances.

00:14:02.800 He's a pro stand-up comedian with his second Showtime comedy special, American Warrior.

00:14:07.120 Now streaming.

00:14:08.260 It's Eric Griffin, everyone.

00:14:11.120 Yo, he went the opposite way.

00:14:12.600 Only guest in the history of the show.

00:14:14.740 111 episodes.

00:14:15.740 You're the first guest to come that way.

00:14:16.880 Why wouldn't you come that way?

00:14:17.700 I don't know.

00:14:18.380 I don't know why no one's done that.

00:14:19.160 Can you do me a favor?

00:14:19.940 Can you say talent again?

00:14:21.800 Talented.

00:14:23.140 By the way, that's how I say it.

00:14:24.800 That's how he says it.

00:14:26.040 Talent.

00:14:26.580 Okay.

00:14:26.820 He's mocking my Ohio accent.

00:14:28.440 Oh, is that what that is?

00:14:29.420 talent talent challenge challenge last i like how he's the voice of reason right here he is

00:14:35.320 like looking at you guys like okay you freak monsters you could tell that's that's spencer's

00:14:40.180 role yeah i get it i love it you know he doesn't even really wear glasses right you just

00:14:43.400 they're not prescription at all i don't need these actually hurt his eyes they're turning

00:14:47.780 him blind five percent smarter and congratulations guys on the sobriety and uh all that kind of

00:14:53.300 stuff i i think that you know mental illness and all that kind of thing is like a thing that we

00:14:56.580 kind of like we shame that all the time and i applaud you talking about it like this and

00:15:00.580 good for you for not being vegan anymore i think that's ridiculous

00:15:03.240 vegan is like you know i always say don't disguise food as shit that i like

00:15:09.020 you know what i mean because i always i had to joke about this because it'd be like it's like

00:15:14.220 vegan pizza you know you know like uh from a distance it's like a transvestite because from

00:15:20.720 a distance you like oh let's go yeah and then you take a bite and you're like is that dick

00:15:27.240 what is that you know so i don't know just just do you i like i like this like you know this is

00:15:36.640 a sign of growth right here you know you guys have come a long way and this is uh bro i've

00:15:41.040 but this subject you're talking about i have a lot to say about so let's uh quickly on the

00:15:45.280 quickly on the food my whole thing is if you have to put my food in quotation marks i don't want to

00:15:49.080 fucking eat it if you have to serve me chicken i don't want it yeah just give me chicken without

00:15:54.260 the quotes dog i don't fucking need them call it what it is just say like this is you know barley

00:15:58.780 and like you know soy protein yeah yeah this is yeah just be like oh let me get some of that soy

00:16:02.640 protein don't tell me oh it's chicken and it's oh it's shrimp and it's like no it's not it's not

00:16:09.400 it's so annoying so i did i had to tell you this spencer's vegan actually oh i'm not surprised

00:16:14.320 i can feel his vegan heat on me right now yeah and it's hot it's not heat bro he's gonna stab me

00:16:21.580 with a fake knife yeah hey you want to use my knife to defend yourself it's a fucking chapstick

00:16:27.560 it's not a knife bro yeah that's what i'm saying it's okay though i'm not we're not gonna shame

00:16:31.380 i let it happen i let it happen i think it's funny bro there's crazy ass vegans i would consider

00:16:35.640 myself like five percent crazy you're you're pretty you're pretty cool vegan pretty tight

00:16:39.400 he is too they're both pretty cool i'm fine with i'm fine with vegans but i i did i went on a date

00:16:45.520 once you know and you know we're talking i take it to a barbecue restaurant okay i'm it's my one

00:16:51.660 of my favorite restaurants i'm a barbecue guy look at my big dude you know i was sitting there

00:16:55.080 we're chilling i'm being charming as hell because i have to be because i'm not cute like logan you

00:16:59.020 know what i mean i'm all trust me i know that i know you know what i mean i gotta i gotta have

00:17:02.640 i have to have game yeah yeah all of us so then uh and then and when we look at the menu she hits

00:17:08.940 me with you know i'm a vegan right oh no if i've ever heard a time for a sound effect

00:17:14.760 i mean good god i mean i was like oh no oh thank you yeah it's really late but

00:17:20.200 get involved with the conversation bro but like but the thing is like give me the benefit of the

00:17:26.400 doubt like tell me ahead of time hey i'm vegan then i take you to the salad barn you know like

00:17:31.900 you know what i mean that should totally be a place yeah if there's not a salad barn right now

00:17:37.580 that's a huge mistake dude cut to logan in a year like welcome to the salad bar

00:17:41.780 it's a great idea you guys got great ideas oh man i'm not i at this time last year i was vegan

00:17:51.320 training for my fight and now that i'm training again i'm not vegan i was just telling the boys

00:17:55.020 before the show i feel great i feel great it's all about moderation right isn't it really but

00:17:59.720 are you vegan because you want to protect animals or is it about health um i would say more so

00:18:05.160 health and the environment just like overall health consumption yeah well if it's health

00:18:10.340 first then it's still okay to how you know what kind of meat you eat what how you eat you know

00:18:15.460 i'm more of a proponent for people to just be more mindful about their food i think like with the with

00:18:21.020 the uh time we live in especially with animal agriculture there's like some really shit food

00:18:26.180 that people are eating so if we can just there's a way to eat meat that you can be healthy there's

00:18:30.160 a way to eat almost anything that you can be pretty healthy but i think now more than ever

00:18:34.440 We need to be mindful of this.

00:18:35.540 You know, I saw it.

00:18:36.300 I was just going to say, it gets expensive.

00:18:39.420 Actually, this is the only place, this is the only place, like, in the United States

00:18:43.080 is, like, one of the few places where, like, you have to spend a lot of money to get less

00:18:46.800 food that's healthy.

00:18:47.940 Yeah.

00:18:48.240 But I could go to, like, you know, the hometown buffet, spend $6, and, like, you know, feed

00:18:53.780 a whole village.

00:18:55.420 Our last guest, Greg Sipes, is it Sipes?

00:18:58.080 Sipes, yeah.

00:18:58.880 He came on and said that the, which I slightly agree with, that the more money you spend

00:19:03.460 on eating kind of cleaner, healthier foods

00:19:05.400 now, whether it's meat or not meat, but you spend more

00:19:07.340 on, like, the good shit, the less you spend on hospital

00:19:09.240 bills later in life, which is kind of a cool take.

00:19:11.380 I dig that. And then we

00:19:13.220 started talking about, like, his dog being his god

00:19:15.460 and, like, him listening to his dog.

00:19:17.360 Yeah, I was like, y'all, I'm gonna hop off the train.

00:19:19.280 Mayday, mayday.

00:19:21.020 Crazy town, come in.

00:19:22.960 I was like, I'm gonna hop off the train before it crashes into

00:19:25.240 the salad bar. No, but it's, I mean,

00:19:27.200 there's something about that. I think a mental, I think,

00:19:29.180 like, physical health and, like, I

00:19:30.900 recently started, like, finally taking care of this

00:19:33.180 because of like my mom you know has dementia and it's like a new thing and i was like oh man like

00:19:37.740 what is the cause of this and it's like high cholesterol high blood pressure inflammation

00:19:41.440 and all these things and i was like damn who's gonna take care of me i was like okay i gotta

00:19:45.360 start taking care of myself so you just like you know i started eating less and like you know those

00:19:48.800 kind of things and so it is important but but but what you're talking about about being vegan too

00:19:52.960 is like i saw this video and it was a great video because it was a super hot chick and she's talking

00:19:57.540 about milk and just like you know so you see the hot girl you're immediately like oh what's up with

00:20:02.180 this hell yeah and then it's all her talking about like in in like hot girl way about how milk is

00:20:07.100 terrible and this is what they're doing to the cows and i was like i'm out you know what i mean

00:20:11.100 i can see you running as soon as she comes on the screen you get like the fucking toilet paper and

00:20:14.780 like the lube and shit and then she just goes on she's like so milk is and she's just like you guys

00:20:21.180 might like cow milk well here's why it's bad and you're just like what the fuck is this i was not

00:20:24.740 expecting are you still drinking milk no i i'm all almond milk and coconut milk you're still

00:20:29.740 drinking milk I still do I'm from the east coast I can't believe it because I'm I'm almond milk

00:20:34.760 too yeah I got I got a I started coconut milk I kind of like almond milk in my coffee because

00:20:39.060 it tastes too nutty you know but the coconut milk has like I don't know I just my ex-girlfriend

00:20:43.800 got me on the coconut milk so oat milk yeah what's the deal see I don't want everything

00:20:49.480 tasting like oatmeal yeah yeah uh have you guys ever ever like just been in the mood to ball out

00:20:54.620 and went for some hemp milk what are you saying now you got the crickets you got the crickets

00:20:59.440 You got the crickets?

00:21:01.060 It's a little secret for the OGs out there.

00:21:02.640 But is it like hemp milk with THC in it?

00:21:04.480 No, no, no.

00:21:04.980 It's just made from the hemp plant.

00:21:06.080 What's the point of that?

00:21:06.580 If you're really feeling like you got a ball out, it's a good option.

00:21:09.300 So that's like vegan weed.

00:21:11.340 You know what I mean?

00:21:12.400 Dude, I've already went on to the next level.

00:21:14.740 I've been doing dandelion milk.

00:21:17.600 It's kind of gross, dude, to be honest with you.

00:21:19.900 Where's the sound effects now on that one?

00:21:22.540 It's funny because you go way overboard on the sound effects like 90% of the time.

00:21:27.020 He was late on the one side of the thing.

00:21:28.720 Now, before we even say anything,

00:21:30.060 oh, hey, nice to see you.

00:21:32.480 What's going on?

00:21:33.340 That's a fact.

00:21:34.120 Oh, this motherfucker.

00:21:37.240 The worst.

00:21:38.640 We go back a bit.

00:21:40.420 Yeah, man.

00:21:41.400 Oh, my God.

00:21:42.880 What?

00:21:43.120 Oh, my God.

00:21:43.700 It's all making sense.

00:21:44.860 Yeah, you see now.

00:21:45.740 Oh, my God.

00:21:46.340 What happened?

00:21:46.900 So I pulled up a picture here.

00:21:49.080 You were one of the pilots in my movie Airplane Mode.

00:21:52.300 Yeah.

00:21:53.300 Yeah.

00:21:54.440 I was the captain of the ship.

00:21:55.980 Yeah, you were.

00:21:56.740 Look how much makeup Logan has.

00:21:59.800 I was just going to say, what the?

00:22:01.640 I'm like, who's this chick?

00:22:02.780 What's up, girl?

00:22:04.000 What's up, girl?

00:22:05.260 They caked me, dude.

00:22:06.580 Logana.

00:22:07.040 Look at Logana right here.

00:22:07.960 Is this the inside of a wax museum?

00:22:09.840 Did you just meet Logan Paul, the wax character?

00:22:12.700 Well, you know what?

00:22:13.280 He wasn't available on set all the time, so we had like a doll.

00:22:17.600 But here's why this is funny, dude.

00:22:20.540 So you still haven't seen the movie, right?

00:22:22.000 I still haven't seen it.

00:22:23.120 Maybe get on that, bro.

00:22:24.640 It's on iTunes.

00:22:25.380 You can watch it on Airplay Mode.

00:22:26.740 Like and subscribe.

00:22:27.620 So I have to pay for it?

00:22:28.580 Buy it, yeah.

00:22:29.140 A movie I barely made any money on?

00:22:30.580 I haven't actually paid to watch it?

00:22:31.940 Yo, I'm sorry.

00:22:32.640 Is that what you're saying to me right now?

00:22:34.300 It's an indie movie.

00:22:35.500 We didn't pay our actors well.

00:22:36.600 And by the way, let me tell you something that frustrated me, okay?

00:22:39.040 Yes.

00:22:39.520 Yeah, let's hear it.

00:22:39.880 This guy still comes to me.

00:22:41.080 He's like, yo, do me this favor.

00:22:42.400 Come do the movie.

00:22:43.120 And I'm like, cool, man.

00:22:44.040 Anything for you.

00:22:44.840 Then I say to him, hey, man, could you come on my podcast?

00:22:47.580 Oh, fuck.

00:22:48.700 And he goes, I'm trying to focus on my.

00:22:51.440 Oh, my God.

00:22:53.520 And I was like, what?

00:22:55.000 Oh, my God.

00:22:55.520 So I got to do this piece of shit movie.

00:22:59.600 I got to be the captain of this freaking Titanic movie I have to do.

00:23:05.500 And then you can't come on my podcast?

00:23:07.280 Wow.

00:23:08.040 Wow.

00:23:09.240 I got big-timed by Logan Paul, man.

00:23:12.820 Damn, bro.

00:23:13.700 You know what?

00:23:14.060 I want you to produce an apology video for me.

00:23:18.520 Let's hear it right now.

00:23:19.840 Give it to the camera.

00:23:20.720 He's going to be like, hey, Eric.

00:23:22.980 You know, I was like, I thought to myself, when you mess up with chicks, are you going to make an apology video?

00:23:28.660 About a severe and continuous lapse.

00:23:30.760 I just send them the same one just at the beginning.

00:23:33.300 You just change it?

00:23:34.120 Yeah.

00:23:35.320 I made a severe and continuous lapse in judgment.

00:23:38.260 Wait, yo.

00:23:38.680 Again, what you're describing right now is a bit of a pattern.

00:23:43.140 I hate to say it.

00:23:44.220 No, wait, hold on.

00:23:44.940 Hold on.

00:23:45.320 I'm reading the text.

00:23:46.260 I pulled him up here.

00:23:47.040 You said, hey, man, I started a podcast and I'm building up and I'd love to have you on mine.

00:23:50.800 This was right when we started.

00:23:52.240 I said, Eric, I love you, G, but I just started one, too,

00:23:55.200 and I'm going to stay exclusively on that for a bit.

00:23:57.160 And you said, bro.

00:23:59.140 And then I said, I know, dog, I fucking suck.

00:24:01.500 Listen, I'll come on it.

00:24:02.540 That was just for the time being.

00:24:04.180 At least you admitted yourself.

00:24:05.880 I just wanted to put it out there.

00:24:08.220 Like I said, you're not the only person.

00:24:09.800 I got friends in the city who have said, hey, man,

00:24:13.080 would you mind coming back on my podcast?

00:24:15.300 I went on yours, man.

00:24:17.240 No, no, no.

00:24:17.820 But by the way, I'm legitimately just teasing you.

00:24:20.180 I totally get it because there's four things I can't stand.

00:24:22.800 Okay.

00:24:23.420 Don't ask me to take you to the airport.

00:24:24.960 Yeah.

00:24:25.280 Oh my God.

00:24:26.220 The worst.

00:24:26.660 Okay.

00:24:27.060 Don't ask me to help you move.

00:24:28.620 Okay.

00:24:28.980 That's the worst.

00:24:29.460 Even worse.

00:24:29.980 That's the worst.

00:24:30.700 I'm not going to read your script.

00:24:33.160 Yep.

00:24:33.600 Yep.

00:24:33.960 I'm not going to your play.

00:24:35.560 And then the fifth one to that I added to this, I'm not doing your podcast.

00:24:39.280 Ah, classic.

00:24:40.240 So it's just a pencil.

00:24:41.120 When you do a podcast, you totally get it.

00:24:42.680 You understand.

00:24:43.220 So when I always ask people, I go, hey, if you want to do the podcast, I totally get

00:24:46.760 it.

00:24:46.900 If it's a no, because it's that kind of business.

00:24:49.660 You know what I mean?

00:24:50.100 where everybody's like you know there's a lot of time commitment so you know i totally get it i'll

00:24:54.000 absolutely come on i also like i have this uh thing in me like it's just like a sick honesty

00:24:58.840 like man how many people you hit up and they just don't respond and by the way it happens to me with

00:25:03.100 a lot of people too i'm just like man at least fucking tell me like you can't come on for xyz

00:25:07.880 reasons or whatever so you know i i always respond to people we've had this conversation before i'm

00:25:11.860 like i'm gonna fuck you to one of the two i'm surprised he gave you that many words to me

00:25:16.980 No, but it was cool

00:25:19.200 I mean, I totally got it at that point

00:25:21.500 I was like, alright, you know what I mean

00:25:23.180 But I was building up at the time, too

00:25:25.280 I had like a thousand subscribers

00:25:27.040 So it wasn't like, you know

00:25:29.780 It wasn't all that, you know what I mean

00:25:30.980 But I get it, but yeah, there's airplane mode

00:25:32.880 Well, just going back to this for a second

00:25:35.220 Bro, like

00:25:36.140 If you've seen the movie, you know

00:25:38.520 Me and you kind of made out a little bit, bro

00:25:40.440 Did we? You don't remember that?

00:25:42.360 Well, he was dead

00:25:43.440 You don't remember that? He was dead when it happened

00:25:45.340 in the movie.

00:25:46.940 Do you think I remember anything about it?

00:25:49.480 I triggered you, if you remember.

00:25:51.640 Here's what happened.

00:25:52.340 What happened?

00:25:52.940 So you were dead, and in my attempt to revive you

00:25:55.840 and give you mouth-to-mouth,

00:25:58.300 I was just like...

00:25:59.840 on your mouth.

00:26:02.780 I don't think I told you

00:26:04.980 I was going to do it.

00:26:05.960 Well, a lot of things happened in that movie that we didn't know

00:26:08.580 was going to happen.

00:26:10.100 You know what I mean?

00:26:11.140 Like the on-set orgy.

00:26:12.940 the onset orgy yeah that was that was but i always say i i appreciated your hustle and making that

00:26:18.760 movie and all the work that you put into it leading up to it you know i just i didn't understand why

00:26:22.980 you know it took like eight and a half years to come out oh there was a thing that happened you

00:26:27.040 may not have heard yeah yeah so it just was weird but i was like i was like oh wow because let me

00:26:32.500 ask you a question at that particular time did this all this was new like social media blowing

00:26:37.960 up the way it is with youtube and all this kind of stuff was sort of new and like it was like the

00:26:42.580 thought of like oh i want to be in hollywood i want to do movies and stuff but like now cut to

00:26:46.700 three four five years later it's the opposite it's the right like this is where people want

00:26:50.800 to be wild but it was crazy at that particular time i remember remember you know where i met

00:26:54.440 you at i met you at like uh johnny who sent me a video of him roasting you by the way

00:26:58.560 bro he's johnny's the king of roasting he's always roasting me so he sent me this video

00:27:07.480 make sure you show them this video but anyways we were at that out at this party and it was like

00:27:12.180 all the people were there yeah beavers there oh oh yeah yeah it was his birthday it was his birthday

00:27:17.820 party at that at that where you used to live you know yes and then like so then it was all these

00:27:22.820 people who were like at that time still trying to figure out like oh i want to do movies i want

00:27:26.680 to do tv and all this stuff and now it's just kind of like ah wow go fuck yourself yeah look

00:27:32.140 at what i'm doing here yeah without you yeah without you without it's an interesting uh

00:27:36.460 especially paradigm flip for you too.

00:27:38.180 Cause you come from traditional Hollywood.

00:27:39.940 Yeah.

00:27:40.420 And I,

00:27:40.900 now I'm trying to be like,

00:27:42.160 you know,

00:27:42.380 I need to,

00:27:42.960 how do I get on the podcast and how do I do?

00:27:45.240 Like,

00:27:45.380 how do I make the proper Instagram?

00:27:47.000 Yeah.

00:27:47.320 Yeah.

00:27:47.480 What is that?

00:27:48.600 I'm all trying to make the proper Instagram,

00:27:50.300 like picture and whatever it is like that.

00:27:51.960 And it's just like,

00:27:52.560 it's totally weird how it's flipped.

00:27:54.140 Do you have a favorite filter for Instagram?

00:27:56.160 Do you like Jakarta?

00:27:57.280 I need like a skinny filter.

00:27:58.860 Jakarta?

00:27:59.140 That's my favorite.

00:27:59.580 You know,

00:27:59.980 the filters.

00:28:00.640 I,

00:28:00.800 it was one.

00:28:01.540 I know.

00:28:01.820 Fuck.

00:28:02.380 I do.

00:28:02.920 God dang.

00:28:03.360 Where's the sound effects?

00:28:04.100 I'm going to sit the next play out.

00:28:06.560 I'm going to sit the next play out.

00:28:07.560 Dylan, are you high today?

00:28:08.200 Oh, God.

00:28:09.220 You didn't know THC was in that?

00:28:11.240 Oh, man.

00:28:12.380 Wait, what are some other ones?

00:28:13.820 THC was in that.

00:28:15.000 What?

00:28:15.220 Abu Dhabi, the Middle Eastern.

00:28:16.120 I don't get those ones.

00:28:17.200 New York.

00:28:18.080 Oh, oh, no.

00:28:18.980 Oh, oh.

00:28:19.640 What does it mean?

00:28:20.460 They're all cities, aren't they?

00:28:21.760 There's Valencia.

00:28:23.060 There's Balenciaga.

00:28:25.120 There's Gucci.

00:28:26.080 No, those are not.

00:28:27.940 Versace.

00:28:28.800 Those are Chloe Brands.

00:28:30.900 Shot guy.

00:28:31.680 Ariana Grande.

00:28:32.520 day yeah there's a lot all right so is it has it been has the transition been tough because

00:28:37.820 no not necessarily because i still you know i still enjoy this just this what has been created

00:28:45.040 is just a new media that's why they call it new media on sag you know it's just a new media but

00:28:49.720 it's just very lucrative i i kind of count this as like almost like being a professional athlete

00:28:53.460 you know like you come in you're gonna you're gonna do your thing for as long as you can

00:28:57.340 but then there's a shelf life for this kind of stuff because like you know it's gonna stick

00:29:01.320 You're appealing to young people who are in the cool, you know, they're into cool and you're not going to be cool forever.

00:29:06.240 I think that's why a lot of the people do try to break out for traditional because they know that the shelf life is longer.

00:29:11.560 Like unless you're this fucker who's just going to sit around, be around forever because people want to look at his dumb mop ass head.

00:29:18.120 Like a lot of other people just a lot of people just come in and they're gone.

00:29:21.900 But you guys were talking about I enjoyed your conversation about, you know, how you're approaching women now.

00:29:28.660 And, you know, it changes as you get older.

00:29:30.520 So, I mean, you're going to wake up 35 and be like, I don't want to have a rager anymore.

00:29:34.920 You know what I mean?

00:29:35.260 Like, wow, there's people in my house.

00:29:36.980 And like, well, you know, it's just going to.

00:29:38.820 Or in Mike's case, you're not.

00:29:41.780 So I'm actually literally about to wake up 35, like tomorrow.

00:29:45.060 I'm like a few days out.

00:29:46.380 I know.

00:29:46.700 But look what's already happening in your life.

00:29:48.460 I stopped sending sex.

00:29:49.740 You know, I was like when I was 18.

00:29:51.380 But like everything else, I'm pretty much still.

00:29:53.260 I'm a young man, dude.

00:29:54.380 Yeah, but 35 is on the road to starting to be an adult man.

00:29:58.660 cool so when i hit 35 you think that's when it starts that's when you start to go oh i gotta

00:30:04.100 get my shit together that's when it happens well i skipped 10 i skipped 10 years too because i loved

00:30:09.160 to party that's what i'm saying so you're like in a you're you're you're working it all out right

00:30:13.600 yes yes but what happens is like young people have a way of letting you know you old as fuck

00:30:17.940 oh they tell me every day they tell me that's just what happens we keep them young and spry

00:30:24.280 yeah but you know that's just what it's just just how it's gonna happen you know people just hit

00:30:28.160 But, you know, again, like I've I've this whole DM thing is like, I love that conversation, too, because like, where's the where's the sanctity?

00:30:36.260 Where's the like, you know, like people aren't outing people who are gay.

00:30:39.220 Like there's like a code for that. Right.

00:30:41.460 You're not supposed to like, you know, you don't put that on the Internet.

00:30:43.720 That's what I was saying. So it's like so why put on the freak shaming just because somebody you don't like because I've I've had this happen to me.

00:30:49.920 You know what I mean? But like I took a shot I shouldn't have taken.

00:30:53.580 I put my toe in the pool and it was cold as hell.

00:30:56.840 yes yeah so i get it so i learned a lesson but they didn't have to like take it screenshot it

00:31:02.200 put it on the internet and everybody's talking shit about me that's like damn that happened to

00:31:06.200 me too once pretty bad i don't think i've i've said it uh on the internet yet uh right after

00:31:12.180 japan for some reason i think i think like a month after i was like i was looking for validation

00:31:20.300 from people.

00:31:22.800 Specifically

00:31:23.320 high-end Instagram models.

00:31:27.520 Interesting.

00:31:28.280 Which was weird, bro.

00:31:29.920 What makes a high-end Instagram model?

00:31:31.960 Followership.

00:31:32.780 No, the ones who do

00:31:35.840 big brand

00:31:38.240 deals.

00:31:39.380 The ones who walk the runway.

00:31:41.800 Not that high-end.

00:31:43.740 Give me an example.

00:31:46.480 Who's a guest model?

00:31:49.200 I don't know.

00:31:50.100 I don't even know

00:31:51.020 That's how like

00:31:51.660 Icaro

00:31:52.520 I don't know

00:31:53.040 I'm trying to

00:31:53.680 Yeah I know

00:31:54.160 I'm just trying to figure out

00:31:55.040 What is high

00:31:55.900 So we could just say

00:31:58.060 Really high chicks

00:31:59.140 On the internet

00:31:59.680 Give us a follower count

00:32:01.000 Give us a rough follower count

00:32:01.740 I don't know

00:32:02.040 Like five to ten mil

00:32:03.260 Okay

00:32:03.520 There are some girls

00:32:04.340 Who are Instagram models

00:32:06.800 They do their

00:32:07.820 Coco Loco

00:32:08.380 Bright white smile

00:32:09.120 Bang energy

00:32:09.740 Like bullshit

00:32:10.780 Like friends

00:32:11.580 I didn't say it

00:32:13.440 I get it

00:32:14.260 Like get the bag

00:32:15.640 But also like

00:32:16.220 Let's be honest

00:32:16.860 What's happening here

00:32:17.500 And then there's the ones

00:32:18.540 Who walk the runway

00:32:19.280 and there's one to do like uh versace campaigns those chicks so i i i dm like like like 15 bro

00:32:26.460 which is crazy i normally do it i dm one girl maybe every two months and this was this was

00:32:34.300 that that that seems a little light that i would one girl every two months

00:32:38.620 that would mean that i every time i hang out with you is once every two months because i feel like

00:32:44.380 Who's the last girl that you know of that I DM'd?

00:32:47.440 It doesn't.

00:32:48.780 There was one the other day.

00:32:50.360 Responding to DMs is the same as DMing, by the way.

00:32:52.660 No, no, no.

00:32:53.720 Yes.

00:32:54.080 I've got girls signing my DMs.

00:32:56.640 That's a technicality.

00:32:58.820 If a hundred chicks hit you up, how many times do you respond?

00:33:03.560 Yeah, here we go.

00:33:04.500 The truth comes out.

00:33:06.680 Look, look, look.

00:33:07.540 The point is, you went on a bender.

00:33:08.780 I went on a DM bender, bro.

00:33:10.320 And one of the girls, she screenshotted the tweet or the DM and tweeted it.

00:33:16.220 And it went, like, kind of viral.

00:33:17.840 And she's like, ew, yeah, fucking right.

00:33:21.180 Because, again, it was right after Japan.

00:33:22.580 I literally cannot.

00:33:23.700 I was, like, one of the most hated people on the planet.

00:33:25.020 And, like, you know, rightfully so, girl, get those fucking likes and retweets.

00:33:28.480 And also, by the way, now, like, she's fucking ugly now, bro.

00:33:33.340 I'm still saying, like, I won.

00:33:34.840 I won, bro.

00:33:35.820 That's quick.

00:33:37.340 She didn't age well.

00:33:39.180 She didn't age well

00:33:41.060 We're talking like a year and a half

00:33:42.380 I'm running a marathon and she's sprinting

00:33:45.640 Damn

00:33:46.000 What is she like 27 now

00:33:47.720 Well I mean luckily for you

00:33:51.460 You don't care how she looks

00:33:52.380 Because you only care if she's talented or not

00:33:54.400 Well now at this point in my life

00:33:55.900 But at the time you can imagine

00:33:57.380 I was like damn I just got exposed

00:33:58.840 But that makes me feel sad that you were just like in a room

00:34:01.380 It was quiet and you were just DMing

00:34:03.340 Oh he was in a really dark place

00:34:05.420 He was like no

00:34:06.960 for my life to be all right that was enya it was enya he was listening to enya that was me i was

00:34:13.920 man that was it was a rough time yeah i get it that was bad you know i you know what i i was i

00:34:18.700 didn't jump on the bandwagon i i just was i appreciate that you know i i it was a bad choice

00:34:23.560 but it was like come on that also that well that no it does mean a lot because like i do

00:34:27.820 i do have you up i hit you up yeah i and i have friends by the way not not friends like uh i call

00:34:34.080 like acquaintances who did like jumped on the bandwagon with their fucking

00:34:38.820 knives in hand and shoved the knives in my back.

00:34:42.100 That was my chance.

00:34:42.640 And I was just like,

00:34:43.200 what the fuck?

00:34:44.140 Like,

00:34:44.400 uh,

00:34:45.200 it probably exposed so many people to you.

00:34:48.080 Oh my God.

00:34:48.640 Well,

00:34:48.860 it's there.

00:34:49.760 I will say,

00:34:50.580 I will say again,

00:34:52.200 every single person,

00:34:53.820 uh,

00:34:54.140 95% of people who were acquaintances and stabbed me in the back.

00:34:57.980 They got their likes,

00:34:58.960 they got their retweets,

00:34:59.680 they got their views.

00:35:00.440 And like,

00:35:01.000 again,

00:35:01.340 I'm,

00:35:01.820 I'm running a marathon.

00:35:02.800 This,

00:35:03.040 they're sprinting.

00:35:03.700 and now like you you don't hear it from no yeah you do that the first time when they last time

00:35:08.000 you heard from christian del grosso that you hear from you hear from them when they hit you up

00:35:12.300 when they hit you up to be a party but it was that the first time you realized

00:35:18.200 like legitimately how famous you are and that the responsibility of it

00:35:22.820 that's deep i

00:35:28.220 or was it the dubai mall yeah no there were times before that what i'm trying to my answer is like

00:35:36.900 it's trying to say that made me famous in a notorious way like like exponentially more

00:35:43.580 like household name and not a good way type situation uh because you know guarantee you're

00:35:50.820 You're not the first person to be in a place called the Suicide Force.

00:35:55.980 It would be crazy to imagine that you find something like that.

00:35:57.900 Wait a second.

00:35:58.180 Wait a second.

00:35:59.400 I'm going to stop this conversation.

00:36:00.660 Can I put one more?

00:36:01.820 I just want to put the final thing in it.

00:36:03.500 I know.

00:36:04.500 We don't want to go.

00:36:05.100 No, we don't.

00:36:05.480 We don't want to rehash.

00:36:06.380 But I'm just saying, like, you're not the only person to ever do that.

00:36:09.100 And what I'm saying is, like, that was like, I was like, wow, this dude's famous.

00:36:12.400 I actually moved to a place recently regarding that whole event because a fellow YouTuber made a video about it the other day,

00:36:20.120 kind of re bringing it up and people tweeted at me and i said oh you're talking about why don't

00:36:24.860 we just say it right so i made a made a video and i said it's weird because i actually don't

00:36:29.660 remember that happening like i've moved to a point now like like what the fuck is good you

00:36:33.440 know how many scandals we've been through since then like i who get who gives out it by the way

00:36:38.360 i hate to say but i don't really give a shit when it happened originally i know but like to

00:36:41.840 i'm sorry to say it to get away but i'm saying to get away from that it's not necessarily about

00:36:46.480 this thing anymore what i'm saying is like that's what it leads into the conversation about like

00:36:49.980 why you have to be careful in your dms is what i'm saying for sure it's like like how like you

00:36:54.020 know yeah yeah nothing's safe bro nothing's safe so my outreach has has gone to almost to nil

00:36:59.160 because of that but you have rice gum going through forest in japan with phase banks not

00:37:03.580 clickbait and it's man something tells me this is a bit of an homage i'm interested

00:37:08.620 but this has something to do with something

00:37:11.900 If you shop at REI, you should use Wikibuy.

00:37:15.620 It's a browser extension that automatically...

00:37:17.960 All right, guys, so we're in a forest and we're in Japan.

00:37:20.340 I don't know what that means.

00:37:21.280 It's a legit forest in Japan.

00:37:23.180 I don't know what to say about this because I don't want to piss anyone off.

00:37:25.580 Let's take a quick thumbnail.

00:37:29.360 That was it.

00:37:31.160 That was it.

00:37:32.060 And like...

00:37:32.740 How dare they?

00:37:33.360 They should say you were credited for that.

00:37:35.620 No, no, please don't, actually.

00:37:37.080 No, please don't.

00:37:38.020 No, but what I'm saying is like,

00:37:39.120 So now nothing's sacred.

00:37:40.560 So like now you can't even like now you have to have these like really super vanilla conversations.

00:37:45.600 If that, because my problem with you, you young people, I'll be the old guy here.

00:37:48.960 It's my problem with the young people is they don't know how to communicate anymore.

00:37:51.900 And the only way they want to communicate is on their little phone and the messages.

00:37:55.700 But then now it's like, how deep can you get?

00:37:57.700 Like, what can you say?

00:37:58.840 Like, you have to be so careful.

00:38:00.480 At what point?

00:38:01.280 Hey, let's FaceTime.

00:38:02.920 Let's get on a call.

00:38:03.780 Let's meet at a coffee shop.

00:38:04.880 because if if nothing i say is going to be like you know just between us like what are you supposed

00:38:10.260 to do because look i'm the kind of guy i gotta take shots you know i gotta be like yo what's up

00:38:15.180 yep and then maybe you're like oh listen i'm not into you or like you know the sort of moment

00:38:18.860 you're not that's when it becomes you have carte blanche to be like all right let's put this on

00:38:24.060 the internet let's let you know shame this person for like you know having proclivities or whatever

00:38:28.860 it might be you know i mean i just think that i don't it's what a world we live in that it has

00:38:32.560 No privacy

00:38:34.700 Fatal convenience

00:38:35.920 Look at this guy

00:38:37.720 That's the name of his podcast

00:38:39.820 Welcome back to Fatal Convenience

00:38:41.560 It could be about meat

00:38:43.920 It could be

00:38:44.780 There's a lot of fatal conveniences in the world we live in today

00:38:48.640 I think that communication

00:38:50.520 I'm just saying a vegan talk

00:38:52.920 Is about to come

00:38:53.540 I'm just kidding

00:38:55.200 It's true

00:38:59.140 After that happened

00:39:00.360 Any of my controversies

00:39:02.080 and by the way i'm done now x x controversial as everyone here knows in this room um after that

00:39:08.680 happened i i made sure to gauge how many people approach me in real life you know how many people

00:39:14.360 approach me in real life how many zero of course millions millions of some some do some do not

00:39:21.080 there was but there there was one girl like a year after and she's like how dare you and i was like

00:39:26.360 and again it was a year after so i'd gone through a tremendous you were there tremendous tremendous

00:39:30.760 growth and i was like hey oh this is great i go hey um i understand you're offended i am so sorry

00:39:36.460 i'll apologize again to you as many times as i need i want you i want you to i want i go i want

00:39:40.680 you to know i want you to know i love you and i hope you have a great day and she's like you

00:39:43.700 fuck you fuck you you shouldn't have done it i was like i understand i'm here not to try to spread

00:39:48.780 positivity and love and i want you to know that i i love you and she's like what she didn't know

00:39:53.740 what to do with herself have a good day yeah she said thank you yeah thank you bro it's like i

00:39:59.060 I really, I killed him with kindness for the first time in my life.

00:40:01.940 I was like, wow, that really works.

00:40:03.220 Yes, it does.

00:40:04.040 Just neutralize them.

00:40:05.900 They don't know what to do with themselves.

00:40:07.280 Like when that situation happened with me where I, like, you know, I sent, you know,

00:40:09.980 I was like, again, dipped my toe in the water and it was really cold.

00:40:13.160 I shouldn't have.

00:40:13.860 She was too young.

00:40:14.820 It was like, you know, and then like her friend hits me up there like, you bozo.

00:40:19.600 That was my favorite thing she called me.

00:40:20.680 No, stop, stop.

00:40:21.820 Really?

00:40:22.240 You bozo?

00:40:22.520 Really?

00:40:23.160 I respect that.

00:40:23.620 You bozo.

00:40:24.260 I was like, that made me laugh.

00:40:25.600 But all I could say after that was just like, I'm sorry.

00:40:27.500 if you felt uncomfortable if you felt offended but that's all you can say but people want to be mad

00:40:32.480 and they want to they got to get that out so that's the kindest thing to do too is just to

00:40:36.860 let people like let them have that you know yeah yeah let them have that because because then they

00:40:41.660 okay after they're they because at that moment that girl probably said you know it's like oh

00:40:45.680 oh well i guess you're not you're not the devil you know i thought you were the devil as if like

00:40:49.960 gonna meet you you're gonna be like hi give me your soul you know like eating baby hearts you

00:40:57.900 know what i mean yeah my thing too isn't it kind of good to be controversial like i our country's

00:41:04.000 like built off controversy bro we look at our president dude he he ran a campaign like i don't

00:41:10.220 know if you ever wanted to totally ideally i'm i'm i'm pretty non-controversial i think some

00:41:16.360 controversy is good let's swap the word out controversial i would love to just be rebellious

00:41:22.220 like edgy you know that's the same thing it's sort of controversial there's like a it's a negative

00:41:28.620 connotation edgy is like this dude's walking the line and i crossed that line a couple times but

00:41:33.880 there's nothing in your well yeah i get that you know it's like i mean i'm not if i'm all right do

00:41:37.980 you do you support what do you think about conor mcgregor punching the old man did you see it i

00:41:42.460 didn't see it but like he is who he is you know you have to you know he like that's all part of

00:41:49.120 his brand that's what i said that's kind of the way he's the notorious but i also said i got mad

00:41:54.360 at them because i said i think we have a responsibility to use our platform a certain

00:41:57.400 way and like do you is your dad still with us no i i don't even i've never met my dad you know like

00:42:01.680 so thanks for bringing that up but like asshole sound effects listen have you did you ever have

00:42:08.100 like a fucking role model that was like an old gray haired man how would you feel if some fucker

00:42:13.220 punched him in the face well wait wait wait listen we're not condoning his actions but let's make

00:42:18.480 sure that i'm saying let's make sure that's his brand yeah but let's make sure we voice that like

00:42:23.260 just because that's what these guys did and i and they got some shit for it too on the comments like

00:42:27.140 you were the only one that said let's make sure people know that this kind of i said it's not

00:42:32.060 cool but all i was saying in that situation is this guy's an irish pub you could tell after he

00:42:38.280 got hit he literally just went over to his friend and said hey what's up like so yo not face it's

00:42:43.380 a different situation if my grandpa got hit of course it's terrible so like that's not cool

00:42:47.620 either i'm not condoning it i think none of us are condoning that if you're in a federal penitentiary

00:42:51.980 and with a bunch of murderers and the person comes out of the cell stabs the co in the neck 40 times

00:42:57.080 and she dies would you say well i mean it is a jail for murderers that kind of stuff kind of

00:43:01.460 happens here you know like you can't well that's not the same that's not the same analogy at all

00:43:06.640 like because it does happen there because the person sometimes i sit here and i'm just like

00:43:10.260 who am i fucking city like what the fuck is wrong with you guys no that's not the moral conscious

00:43:14.800 i do on certain punching old people is where i draw the line well what if it's an old person

00:43:18.940 i know i love how it's like we're all terrible people being a creep in the dms is okay

00:43:28.100 Hell yeah, bro.

00:43:29.460 But punching a whole guy who probably deserved it.

00:43:32.060 You don't know what he said.

00:43:33.380 You don't know what he said.

00:43:34.340 It's circumstantial.

00:43:35.600 You don't know context.

00:43:36.700 I think I was just too close to my grandfather and shit.

00:43:39.940 You know what?

00:43:40.160 What is your grandfather?

00:43:42.400 If your grandfather was here right now,

00:43:43.680 he was probably a tough bastard, right?

00:43:45.200 Yeah, he was a fucking World War II fucking vet.

00:43:47.180 Would he want you to be like,

00:43:49.360 oh, I'm so sorry that the old man got hit.

00:43:52.680 No, he probably would have taken out his bayonet.

00:43:54.880 He'd be like, he's lucky I didn't punch him in that face.

00:43:56.900 That is exactly right.

00:43:58.100 Okay, so let's give the old guy the benefit of the doubt, too.

00:44:01.700 What if he was talking shit to McGregor like, you ain't nothing, you know, to McGregor like, you know, we don't know.

00:44:06.820 Or if he's like, hit me.

00:44:09.060 You won't punch me in the face.

00:44:10.760 Yeah, but people are going to say that to your whole life.

00:44:12.940 You know how many people have been like, come on, man.

00:44:14.540 You're a big guy.

00:44:15.180 You can punch me in the face.

00:44:16.100 And then I got to go do five years suspended sentence.

00:44:18.100 Fuck that shit.

00:44:19.040 You got to be the bigger man and walk the fuck away, dude.

00:44:21.860 You're asking somebody to be a bigger man who his brand is.

00:44:25.780 Yeah, I get it.

00:44:26.180 That's all we're saying.

00:44:27.060 Yeah, I get it.

00:44:27.540 I'm not condoning his actions, but I'm saying I understand him.

00:44:30.520 You're not surprised.

00:44:31.200 I'm not surprised.

00:44:32.040 You know, he made an impulsive choice, an impulsive choice,

00:44:35.060 to like, you know, because that's part of what's going to get him back in the ring

00:44:39.680 and make $100 million.

00:44:40.880 You know, sometimes we make these choices and we don't see the ramifications of them

00:44:44.120 because we don't understand the position that we're in.

00:44:46.600 I think that's all that happened to you.

00:44:48.600 It's just a situation of just being like, oh, this isn't going to be bad.

00:44:51.680 And then you don't realize it until later.

00:44:53.180 Then you go, oh, my bad.

00:44:55.100 It's almost like a no-presses, bad-press situation.

00:44:56.900 situation you know what i'm saying like it just it just it reinvigorates his brand but the thing

00:45:01.180 is too he threw a freaking a dolly threw a dolly at a bus yeah you think he has any qualms about

00:45:07.780 punching an old man talking shit and then sold a lot of whiskey after that like he was chilling

00:45:13.460 bro who should we be more mad at you know who should be more mad at is the people that still

00:45:17.700 write him checks well that's what i i called out dana white on it too and i because dana white was

00:45:22.800 like i mean listen it's a pub shit happens at pubs and i was like i mean like it's like do you do

00:45:27.940 you at least say something like yo like because listen these people at the end of the day these

00:45:32.000 people are at the end of the day fucking role models and so like at least somebody on the show

00:45:36.560 say hey don't go punch old people i would hope not i would hope that like somebody that's going to

00:45:41.980 do something so brutal and violent that literally can kill someone is their profession is not a role

00:45:48.200 model it's a good point okay because just so what's the difference between what happened in

00:45:54.340 that pub and what happens in the ring is that the people are professional that's the only thing that

00:45:59.340 makes it different but they're trying to people trying to kill each other you know what i mean

00:46:03.860 like one hit could like devastate someone's life it's happened it's happened you know what i'm

00:46:09.320 saying so i just you know i just i'm not i'm not a fan of like those kind of violent sports i'm

00:46:14.200 just not a fan of him so but i get like you're not gonna watch my next fight yeah i mean i'm

00:46:19.260 just saying he didn't even watch airplane mode what makes you think he's gonna watch the next

00:46:22.180 one train wreck at a time it's not a train wreck this one this one's buttoned up this one's locked

00:46:29.240 down i just i'm not a fan of those sports because like i just saw look what happened just i see

00:46:35.200 muhammad ali i see like all these boxers that like you know it does something to them and it's crazy

00:46:39.700 is that even UFC fighting

00:46:41.880 is safer than boxing.

00:46:43.640 How is that possible? I've heard

00:46:45.740 that. Because one, it's only

00:46:47.580 three rounds. It's like, they end

00:46:49.760 it quick. You know, it's not about

00:46:51.480 lasting. It's about

00:46:53.440 submission. So like, when you're done, you're done.

00:46:55.440 Boxing, you just take a coup of...

00:46:57.560 Yeah, yeah. And then if you get knocked down,

00:46:59.680 you have 10 seconds to get back up. And your brain,

00:47:01.300 you know, your brain, like, you know, you probably

00:47:03.440 CT and whatever that stuff

00:47:05.620 and like, you know, all the concussions. You probably have many

00:47:07.380 concussions all the time. CBD, all that

00:47:09.420 all kinds of fucking acronyms

00:47:11.840 do you guys think fighting will always be a part of culture

00:47:14.540 though or do you think there will come a time

00:47:16.480 where I think it's going to get worse

00:47:17.720 I think it's getting more gruesome

00:47:18.860 as long as these god dang men are around

00:47:22.160 I think they're going to start throwing like weapons into it

00:47:24.580 I don't think so I don't think they'll go back

00:47:26.280 we were at the UFC fight this weekend and Jake goes

00:47:28.340 just think about it bro

00:47:29.220 2000 years ago this would be a coliseum

00:47:32.460 and the two dudes fighting in the ring

00:47:34.440 so they had weapons and they'd kill

00:47:36.560 each other to the

00:47:38.160 death dude yeah and they'd send in lions to fight the the warriors don't act like we don't want to

00:47:43.580 see that i mean that's i remember when i was a kid they had this thing called glow gorgeous ladies

00:47:48.560 of wrestling so they had the show on netflix but that was actually a real thing but i remember

00:47:52.520 one night this girl broke her arm and she broke her arm in a way that the bone came you know

00:47:59.600 obviously it was a accident right but they made it out like this i can't believe that this happened

00:48:07.020 you know they kept showing it and it was just like so you know violence is always something

00:48:11.820 we're gonna like uh you know capitalize it's harder to find nowadays though because i remember

00:48:15.520 when i was when i was growing up we had faces of death you can go to fucking the the people

00:48:19.940 watching this that are in their late 20s early 30s might know it was like a show where you could

00:48:23.460 see people die it was a vhs yeah yeah and you can go rent it at the store be in the adult section

00:48:28.420 with all the pornos and shit and you could rent it and it would be people getting gored by bulls

00:48:32.160 People drowning.

00:48:33.460 It was called Faces of Death.

00:48:34.560 What?

00:48:35.100 I didn't like it as much as my friends did.

00:48:37.880 We would sit around, rip the bong, and watch people die all day.

00:48:40.280 I don't like it.

00:48:40.560 Now, God forbid you show a fucking toe in a video, you're going to get demonetized.

00:48:47.020 Look up Faces of Death, bro.

00:48:48.200 No.

00:48:48.960 Don't look up Faces of Death, bro.

00:48:50.460 Actually, you know what?

00:48:51.260 Don't look up Faces of Death.

00:48:52.660 But it did exist.

00:48:53.480 It's just, as a society, obviously, we have become pussified.

00:48:56.780 You know that.

00:48:57.640 I don't know if it's pussified.

00:48:59.140 I think it's more sensitive.

00:49:01.280 Yeah.

00:49:01.400 Like sensitive bitches.

00:49:04.280 Less savage.

00:49:06.140 Placified.

00:49:06.740 Whatever you want to call it.

00:49:07.520 This guy wants to live in a cave and like walk up to women like, you're mine.

00:49:12.780 He wants to just grab them right by the back of the neck.

00:49:15.760 I'm not even sad, dude.

00:49:16.520 You know how to.

00:49:17.500 I mean, it's funny because in certain ways, like I still, like there are certain positions

00:49:22.000 that I still wish were a little bit more.

00:49:23.800 Like missionary?

00:49:24.840 Like what?

00:49:25.680 You a missionary guy?

00:49:27.340 That's your favorite?

00:49:28.160 I haven't been in a missionary position.

00:49:29.720 Really?

00:49:30.020 Or a missionary in years.

00:49:31.200 Maybe I'll go there sometimes

00:49:33.220 So you're not an intimate person

00:49:35.320 You don't want to look somebody in the eye

00:49:36.660 You don't want to kiss them

00:49:38.080 You don't want to make love

00:49:39.580 What I do is I just turn their fucking head around

00:49:41.880 Savage

00:49:43.540 But you can't punch an old man in the face

00:49:46.240 You know what, after this show

00:49:50.660 Maybe I'll start

00:49:51.400 Thanks a lot Spencer, you've convinced me to punch old people

00:49:54.760 That's not what we're saying

00:49:56.180 But it's just damn

00:49:58.480 You can't on one be like

00:50:00.320 I want to turn her around, but you've got to protect old men.

00:50:05.600 Make your choice, man.

00:50:07.080 I don't agree with that.

00:50:08.220 I think there could be different levels of it.

00:50:11.420 You could be a freak in the sheets, but a non-elder killer.

00:50:15.980 That's not that far-fetched.

00:50:17.840 He's not a killer.

00:50:19.540 He could have killed him.

00:50:20.660 He could have killed him.

00:50:21.760 He's a 70-year-old man.

00:50:23.100 I want to talk about workaholics.

00:50:24.280 Okay.

00:50:26.080 It's time to shift, bro.

00:50:27.480 Yeah, it's time to shift.

00:50:28.180 time to shift let's talk about work i started with a regular glass how did that happen 30 minutes in

00:50:33.440 now i have the grandpa glass why does eric have a plastic cup we'll just tease it don't worry about

00:50:38.500 it you just poured this water into the glass that was here bastard sorry about that workaholics

00:50:45.840 yeah i mean like what's good this is it's a huge show and uh would you say that was uh

00:50:50.860 partially how you got your big break oh it was my big break yeah workaholics was like the whole

00:50:56.640 thing i didn't even know i remember going to the audition i remember reading the script and

00:50:59.700 thinking like this isn't gonna make it oh really yeah i was like they're not gonna let me say this

00:51:03.760 stuff on television you know like i remember my first audition was the thing about you know like

00:51:08.860 having sex with my wife you know that was the whole that was the audition for that was like

00:51:12.980 you know i woke up 5 a.m and it was longer too i had this long monologue about having sex with my

00:51:18.020 wife and that was the audition and uh i just it was just one of those things and i was like okay

00:51:23.280 i remember i did it way i wanted to do it you know and then like i remember the casting director

00:51:28.360 they looking at each other and they were like okay you know and then i then then the callback

00:51:33.260 it was like adam and all the guys now i had just been at a show with adam like a week earlier okay

00:51:38.880 and i didn't know he was doing this stuff to me he was just like this young kid so i was giving

00:51:42.680 him the whole like you know keep working at it kid you got one day you know one day you're gonna

00:51:47.340 make it you know what i mean you're sonning him yeah yeah and then the next week he's sitting in

00:51:51.900 the room as the executive producer but i still didn't know when i saw him in my mind i was like

00:51:56.600 oh look at adam interning at you know what i mean and then it wasn't until like like uh my buddy

00:52:04.100 chris delia he hits me up like yo i just heard from adam you did great at this audition i was

00:52:08.220 like what and then my manager's like how'd you do with the adam divine audition and i was like

00:52:11.600 oh shit and i was like oh shit this that was his actual show so but anyway i did the audition had

00:52:16.500 to audition like three or four times before i got the part and it was like you know it taught me

00:52:20.600 something about like when you go to auditions don't ever think you can't make do it no matter

00:52:24.160 who's in the room because i had never done anything and i'm here in this room with all

00:52:27.160 these people that have been on all these shows yeah you know yeah and i was like oh man you know

00:52:31.560 yeah but you were nervous yeah i was nervous and i was like oh what am i gonna do but you know i

00:52:34.840 booked a part and then you know now i'm here do you think it was a benefit not knowing who adam

00:52:39.740 was yes that that's crazy how life works you know one time i i they tim allen uh he wanted somebody

00:52:48.340 to replace his opener because a guy was going on to do something else and so the lady his handler

00:52:53.140 lady was like hey you know i didn't know that i was auditioning for him while i was doing some

00:52:58.240 stand-up i just i just was doing my regular show then i went upstairs and he was like you were

00:53:01.860 funny blah blah blah you know but i didn't know if i had known maybe it would have been different

00:53:05.280 maybe i would have been up there like oh my god you know i don't i don't know so i guess sometimes

00:53:08.440 it is better just not to know just do you be your be your best self i heard stand-up is one of the

00:53:12.660 hardest things to do in hollywood you know it's like you know because it takes a while to actually

00:53:18.560 get your voice you know you get your point of view and then like you know boom and here it is

00:53:22.740 you know it's like it it can be because of the heart i think the hardest thing to do on stage is

00:53:28.380 to actually be yourself i mean think about that just to be like as vulnerable as you possibly can

00:53:33.680 and conveying these ideas and thoughts in a humorous way so you have to be thoughtful you

00:53:38.400 have to be caring about what you're talking about you have to be like confident and so it's a lot

00:53:42.080 that goes into it that's so true like if you think about how we act off camera like we we have we have

00:53:48.060 more 90 000 more belly laughs to the point where we're on the ground crying off camera because

00:53:54.580 we're because like at the end of the day like something is always a little bit different

00:53:57.760 you're always either protecting your you're like your brand or you're like you're something's always

00:54:04.040 a little bit different like i'm sure are you the same way or you got to a point where you're exactly

00:54:07.780 the same off and on camera i'm pretty close to like just but i just become an exaggerated version

00:54:12.180 of myself and my emotions you know because i talk about a lot of things i'm like this is how i feel

00:54:16.360 about these things and i want to feel those emotions while i'm on stage because that's what

00:54:20.560 people are laughing at they're laughing at a dude dealing with this story i'm telling you about you

00:54:25.560 know you have to do and you have to do that at the same level every single night is it does acting

00:54:29.780 on a show like workaholics take that pressure off of a stand-up or is it just a different ball

00:54:34.320 It's just different.

00:54:35.180 It's completely different.

00:54:36.260 It's completely different.

00:54:37.280 Completely different.

00:54:38.040 You know, just acting.

00:54:38.880 It's like you're collaborating.

00:54:40.320 You're taking somebody else's words, making it your own.

00:54:42.560 And stand-up, it's all you and your insecurities with the crowd.

00:54:46.120 You know what I mean?

00:54:46.480 It's completely different.

00:54:47.640 People have said recently that stand-up in L.A. is like,

00:54:51.860 I can't remember if it was veganism or trying anal for the first time.

00:54:55.660 Everybody's like, I can't remember what it was exactly,

00:54:59.560 but it's like when you come to L.A., everybody tries stand-up.

00:55:03.060 Yeah, yeah, they do.

00:55:03.780 like oh i think i want to be a stand-up fucking comedian which is i think that's the beauty oh

00:55:07.460 it's great yeah for sure but the new thing now is podcasts podcasts oh yeah that's what everybody's

00:55:13.580 doing now thinking that everybody's gonna blow up you know so it's like you know but it's but

00:55:17.140 there's something about this format that people feel closer to you they feel they feel like they're

00:55:22.580 they're more engaged in your life they feel like they understand you they feel like they're in your

00:55:26.140 head it's not even like the funny things that we do it's like these little conversations people

00:55:30.200 pick up on a thing and they go oh you know what i feel the same way you feel about this thing or

00:55:34.920 like you know or you inspired me to like do this differently and so it's a weird this is a weird

00:55:40.140 platform it's a new ground it's a new age you know so it's it's pretty exciting podcasts also

00:55:44.920 provide if you listen to the right ones provide a decent amount of value too which i think is

00:55:48.620 making like the people who listen to podcasts smarter quicker yeah uh i always think if i had

00:55:53.320 like a a podcast to listen to or even like someone whose vlogs i i could have watched growing up i

00:56:00.000 i wonder how my life would have been different like dude i didn't know you had to pay taxes

00:56:03.980 until i was a freshman in in college and i got my first check from from vine and my mom said

00:56:09.460 you're gonna get have to give 25 to the government i'm like i'm sorry ma i made this money

00:56:14.580 myself i'm not giving this anything what are you saying so entitled i never i didn't know i know

00:56:21.380 i never heard someone even the idea didn't cross my mind to not go to college until after i was

00:56:28.280 like already in college yeah the internet nobody was talking about that when you were in when we

00:56:32.680 were in high school even for you too bro when you went out when you were in high school junior year

00:56:36.380 they started giving you like they started bringing you into counseling like why are you gonna start

00:56:39.640 doing your your college admissions like gary v was like the first person i ever heard say like

00:56:45.060 you know fuck college is what he would always say but that was the first time i'd ever even heard

00:56:49.560 that so like the amount of like paradigm shifting content that goes to younger people now i go to

00:56:55.600 college yeah i went for a little while but it just wasn't it wasn't for me at the time was it in

00:57:00.120 entertainment no no no no i wish it was i i have a lot of regrets when i look back i go damn it i

00:57:05.360 should have yeah just went full into it but when you're from la at that particular time everything

00:57:10.460 felt like a pipe dream uh you know what i mean so like when it feels like a pipe dream you feel

00:57:14.900 like i know i can't make it so i always tell people like when you whatever your dream is

00:57:19.880 you have to like know or believe that you can do it and you don't have to convince anyone else but

00:57:25.580 yourself and whoever your higher power is and when you when you're at that moment that's when

00:57:30.580 you're going to attack it and nothing's going to stop you because if you start thinking about

00:57:33.720 well you know how can i make it so many people are doing it once those thoughts come into your

00:57:39.880 head you're doomed yeah i think a lot of people uh fake believe too like the belief has to be

00:57:45.940 they have to be it has to be real it does have to be real it has to be like this thing where you go

00:57:50.120 oh i can i remember the moment i was like oh i could do this i'm great at this when when you

00:57:55.520 You know, it was like I was I was like at just like some bullshit show in L.A., you know, just like doing open mics and stuff.

00:58:02.260 And I finally got like a sort of a show, you know, it was at this the Friars Club.

00:58:07.160 And then I'm doing it and I'm feeling this thing where I'm like, because then because then somebody came up to me afterwards like, hey, man, I booked this show.

00:58:14.620 It's a paid gig out in.

00:58:15.700 And I was like, oh, this is how it works.

00:58:17.600 Ah, OK.

00:58:18.840 You know, it was like, this is how it works.

00:58:20.100 I have to like just make my peers laugh.

00:58:22.680 I have to make I have to like, you know, you have the mustache.

00:58:25.520 I was born with this mustache.

00:58:28.060 That's good.

00:58:29.740 I was like 32 when I came out the womb.

00:58:32.140 It was a lot.

00:58:33.580 It changes in size, I feel like.

00:58:36.960 Well, I have to shave it, man.

00:58:38.060 Sometimes it's thicker.

00:58:38.900 Is your beard always like that?

00:58:41.200 He's been getting a lot of comments on the beard.

00:58:42.460 I love how he looked at the camera like he was all cute.

00:58:45.220 I mean, shit, dog.

00:58:47.320 He's pretty sharp.

00:58:48.400 Let's be honest.

00:58:49.060 He's pretty cute.

00:58:49.980 Pretty damn cute.

00:58:51.180 Shit.

00:58:51.880 I'll admit it.

00:58:52.800 That's why he gets all those DMs.

00:58:54.400 And we're full circle.

00:58:55.520 Here we are.

00:58:56.080 We're back in there.

00:58:57.020 Well, I just pulled up some pictures of you at the Clippers game because you love going

00:59:01.680 to the Clippers game.

00:59:02.280 Yeah, me and Adam and I go to the Clippers game.

00:59:03.420 Yeah, and I was looking at this one, and Jesus, Jesus.

00:59:06.180 Well, I was filming I'm Dying Up Here at the time.

00:59:07.720 This is going across your whole face.

00:59:08.620 Yeah, because I was filming I'm Dying Up Here at the time, and it was the 70s, and I had

00:59:11.620 to have a huge mustache.

00:59:13.000 You're with a lot of big folks here.

00:59:14.380 Yeah.

00:59:14.720 I'm curious.

00:59:15.300 What makes someone a Clippers fan?

00:59:18.980 No offense.

00:59:20.120 I'm just, I got to learn because I'm not from LA.

00:59:22.540 I punch him in the face.

00:59:23.640 it's just interesting all i heard was the lakers growing up but the lakers to me were always too

00:59:28.560 flashy it was always too hollywood it was always too like you know people are fake i felt like

00:59:32.420 the same as the mets in new york there's mets and there's fucking jets fans like can you believe

00:59:37.860 that there's actually people out there yeah who still root for the fucking new york jets like

00:59:42.380 these things are these are fossils dude but they still exist the mets in this room right now

00:59:47.120 go clippers dude you know you just you never know right clippers are blue collar but when we win the

00:59:51.820 championship this year you'll see yeah i was gonna say speaking of that clippers and the jets both

00:59:56.220 look really good whoa the jets yeah levy on bell yeah we'll see oh yeah if you can stay in michigan

01:00:02.780 state grad once every five years like you know who looks good the clippers and the jets it's here

01:00:06.900 it's crazy and then the next year people are like wow they fucked that up that's when you know an

01:00:10.120 asteroid is like imminent it's on its way like you gotta just pay attention to the science yo i saw

01:00:15.960 a thing there's a big asteroid headed towards earth and i think in 10 years it was gonna yeah

01:00:19.860 That was one of my facts.

01:00:22.060 Oh, you fucked up.

01:00:23.180 It was one of my facts, man.

01:00:24.760 I had four today, so we can talk about it.

01:00:26.900 We'll put a pin in it.

01:00:27.420 Yeah, put a pin in it.

01:00:28.400 What do you want to just talk about right now?

01:00:29.460 We could.

01:00:29.720 We might as well.

01:00:30.260 Yeah, we could.

01:00:30.720 So we're going to die?

01:00:32.080 Yeah, tell it.

01:00:32.700 Is that it?

01:00:34.020 Facts.

01:00:34.720 There we go.

01:00:35.320 We're in it.

01:00:35.880 Let's go.

01:00:36.340 Are we going to, like, shoot a rocket?

01:00:37.900 What are we going to do?

01:00:38.400 Yeah, how do we stop it?

01:00:39.280 That's what Elon Musk is trying to figure out.

01:00:40.920 So Elon, I don't know if you guys saw this.

01:00:42.940 Elon Musk.

01:00:43.460 Why is he in charge of everything all of a sudden?

01:00:45.160 he's great

01:00:46.720 did you guys see this he tweeted

01:00:49.460 nuke mars

01:00:50.540 did anybody see that

01:00:52.260 I must have missed that

01:00:53.760 isn't that for

01:00:56.780 creating water

01:00:58.700 and terraforming

01:01:00.340 you got your scientist guy over there

01:01:02.200 what's the reason to nuke mars

01:01:03.980 this guy might be the first person to walk on mars

01:01:05.980 I'm not even kidding

01:01:06.600 you're totally right

01:01:08.400 the idea is that it would buy greenhouse gases

01:01:11.380 yeah

01:01:11.980 it's a big proposition

01:01:14.320 Wow

01:01:16.300 Look at that rugged nerd

01:01:17.260 You just don't expect that

01:01:22.000 You know you would just go

01:01:22.680 You see how many times he blinked when he said that

01:01:25.360 Is there a correlation between like intelligence and blinking

01:01:28.220 He blinked like 40 times

01:01:29.980 Why do you think Blink 182 was so successful

01:01:32.400 And intelligent

01:01:33.140 182 blinks

01:01:34.920 Didn't think about that

01:01:36.160 Is that a fact

01:01:36.820 This guy's Mr. Just pulling nerd shit out of that

01:01:40.520 He knows a lot

01:01:41.240 so yeah uh apophis is a 370 meter in diameter near earth asteroid uh first spot in 2004 that

01:01:49.580 could hit the earth in 2029 uh but don't worry only a probability of well under three percent

01:01:56.780 that's a pretty high that's a little high for a little high that's well under three yeah but you

01:02:04.560 don't yeah but think of the odds of when you don't use a condom it's probably higher than that and

01:02:08.700 You still do it.

01:02:09.120 Well, that's not applicable.

01:02:10.660 Wait, wear a condom?

01:02:12.360 I'm saying when you don't.

01:02:14.100 That's every single time.

01:02:15.340 So there's no odds there.

01:02:16.820 It's not applicable.

01:02:17.520 Now that he's sober, Mike is voicing me.

01:02:21.000 He's using condoms now.

01:02:22.660 Did you hear this?

01:02:24.380 Did you hear this?

01:02:25.280 Really?

01:02:25.840 He started using condoms.

01:02:26.600 Wow.

01:02:27.460 My asteroid is for sure on the way.

01:02:28.880 My question is this.

01:02:30.080 What's happening right now?

01:02:30.800 The Clippers are good.

01:02:31.760 The Jets are good.

01:02:32.780 He's using condoms.

01:02:34.400 This is bad, dude.

01:02:34.860 Not for the hills.

01:02:35.860 Everybody get off Earth ASAP.

01:02:37.540 Start buying beans.

01:02:38.320 Just start buying water.

01:02:40.080 Get some almond milk.

01:02:41.260 My dad has water jugs in his basement.

01:02:43.280 He's got like 30 gallons of water.

01:02:44.960 But that's it.

01:02:45.400 He's had it there since I was about five.

01:02:47.020 He's always ready for this zombie apocalypse to break out.

01:02:49.320 Oh, yeah.

01:02:49.900 But that's all he's got.

01:02:51.620 There's no bunker.

01:02:52.440 There's no fireworks.

01:02:53.800 Just a bunch of water.

01:02:54.780 It's interesting, though.

01:02:55.600 Elon's calling for us to start to make an effort to create some form of defense, which probably makes sense.

01:03:02.480 Like, we're technologically advanced enough to create some form of grid to protect this planet.

01:03:07.180 My question is this.

01:03:08.320 370 meter diameter asteroid.

01:03:11.940 Pretty freaking big, dude.

01:03:13.080 Not really, bro.

01:03:13.840 Oh, yeah.

01:03:14.700 Not in comparison to the Earth.

01:03:16.280 It doesn't have to be.

01:03:17.280 So tell me why.

01:03:18.160 That's what I'm asking.

01:03:19.260 I'm sure you know why.

01:03:20.300 What was the size of the asteroid

01:03:22.480 that wiped out the dinosaurs?

01:03:24.480 That was more like a mile to two miles.

01:03:27.120 But think about it.

01:03:28.000 In the grand scheme,

01:03:29.320 a mile to two miles is fucking nothing.

01:03:30.260 Would you mind coming over here

01:03:31.660 and explaining this?

01:03:32.560 Yeah, but that's huge.

01:03:33.680 What are you talking about?

01:03:34.080 No, but I'm saying in the grand scheme

01:03:35.640 of the size of the Earth.

01:03:36.220 That's not even one time around a track.

01:03:37.480 That's not even a quarter mile.

01:03:38.660 I know, but what I'm saying is like, but wouldn't like, okay, come over here.

01:03:42.040 You want to get there?

01:03:42.980 But wouldn't the, what is the ozone layer or whatever, like, you know, the-

01:03:48.400 Burn it up.

01:03:48.720 Burn it up even more.

01:03:50.300 I mean-

01:03:50.840 Depending on how fast it's going.

01:03:51.920 Get them close to the mic.

01:03:52.540 Wait, what's your name, first of all?

01:03:53.480 I'm Dylan, by the way.

01:03:54.280 Stay your credentials.

01:03:55.820 Stay your credentials, Dylan.

01:03:56.960 At Dylan Dickstein.

01:03:58.120 No, not your socials.

01:03:59.660 God, why are you-

01:04:00.780 Always close.

01:04:01.500 Why are we believing you right now?

01:04:03.260 So I'm a PhD student at UCLA in aerospace engineering.

01:04:06.380 and I'm a prospective astronaut.

01:04:08.540 He's worked at Kennedy Space Center,

01:04:10.640 SpaceX, he's worked with Richard Branson.

01:04:12.640 This is the smartest dude in 100 miles.

01:04:15.140 He's literally in the running to be the first man

01:04:17.120 on Mars. I'm just kidding.

01:04:18.540 My next question is, why are you in our garage room?

01:04:21.620 What the fuck is good?

01:04:22.580 These are my friends.

01:04:23.540 He's got guilty pleasures too.

01:04:26.640 He's got guilty pleasures too.

01:04:27.720 I'd love to see his DMs.

01:04:30.820 My question is, why can

01:04:32.900 an asteroid less than a quarter

01:04:35.040 mile in diameter. Wipe out

01:04:37.120 the entire Earth. So,

01:04:38.960 the answer is extremely nerdy. I'm not sure

01:04:41.100 how nerdy we want to get. All the way.

01:04:42.660 Let's get nerdy and nerdy. The equation

01:04:44.700 for kinetic energy is 1Fmv

01:04:47.240 squared. The velocity is squared.

01:04:49.480 And so, what happens is

01:04:51.220 they're all going super fast.

01:04:53.520 And so, that energy is

01:04:55.200 super duper high. The mass

01:04:57.060 is just linear. Thanks for dumbing it down for us.

01:05:00.660 Guys,

01:05:01.180 it's a super fast asteroid.

01:05:02.920 It's hurling towards the earth

01:05:05.900 Bad news

01:05:07.700 And then all of us are like

01:05:08.620 Okay

01:05:09.060 What do we do?

01:05:11.140 What do we do?

01:05:11.660 What do we do?

01:05:12.560 Is it moving at 9.88 meters

01:05:14.540 Per second per second?

01:05:15.300 That's the rate of gravity

01:05:16.260 My guy

01:05:16.560 So no

01:05:17.080 So it is or it's not?

01:05:19.100 Look at him trying to pull a

01:05:20.240 Pull a number out

01:05:21.160 Well he's saying no

01:05:22.260 But you're shaking your head yes

01:05:23.380 I mean

01:05:23.740 It's going way faster

01:05:24.780 Holy shit

01:05:25.540 That's not good dude

01:05:26.500 It's not good

01:05:27.600 Okay but so

01:05:29.200 So what?

01:05:29.800 So what when it hits

01:05:30.520 It's the size of a football field

01:05:32.800 like it's bigger but then what i mean this this thing is going to try to enter our atmosphere

01:05:38.100 and it's going to start to erode and so it's going to get a little bit smaller over time as

01:05:42.840 it starts to burn up as it enters our atmosphere super fast but at some point if it's massive

01:05:47.780 enough and that doesn't have to be that big sometimes even like something a few inches wide

01:05:52.460 can penetrate earth's atmosphere but something this big will likely if it were to enter earth's

01:05:58.520 atmosphere it would continue down to the earth and it would impact very very fast yeah and then

01:06:02.200 it's that impact that were caused that the damage of like you know like you know tsunamis and the

01:06:07.160 plates would would move this is the closest thing to like interplanetary roulette i've ever heard

01:06:13.200 like the the earth is spinning the ball's getting dropped in where's it gonna land is it gonna land

01:06:17.680 on double zero like even going in the ocean wouldn't necessarily be a good eye good thing

01:06:21.540 either right because tsunamis and then but that it's the it's the dust particles though that that

01:06:26.800 it will coat the earth

01:06:28.000 and then you have

01:06:28.480 an ice age

01:06:29.040 oh shit

01:06:31.660 yo can you imagine

01:06:33.540 two decades from now

01:06:34.920 it's an ice age

01:06:35.800 good luck with all

01:06:36.820 that water Greg

01:06:37.720 I know he's like

01:06:38.300 thanks for telling us

01:06:39.640 hopefully that fucking

01:06:40.080 works out for you

01:06:40.880 thanks for telling us

01:06:41.680 about our imminent death

01:06:42.660 next on Impulsive

01:06:44.860 thank you bro

01:06:45.740 man yo

01:06:48.460 I want him to walk

01:06:50.040 on Mars though

01:06:50.760 you deserve it

01:06:52.300 same we gotta blow

01:06:53.220 him up man

01:06:53.760 him and Joel

01:06:54.400 the podcast guy

01:06:55.300 there's some really cool

01:06:56.220 like I'm not gonna

01:06:56.720 talk about it now but there's some cool requirements that you have to have to actually you know be in

01:07:01.220 the running for sure obviously being on a famous podcast is one so check that one off the list so

01:07:05.420 he's not gonna but no actually for you actually uh you know in order to send someone to mars like

01:07:12.760 they don't want just people who are competent to do that they do want people that can speak and

01:07:17.680 you know and he was he was good but he's gonna colonize too so he's got to be cute because it's

01:07:22.020 It's going to be girl astronauts, too, right?

01:07:24.280 Yeah.

01:07:25.220 He's going to have to impregnate people, right?

01:07:27.360 You're going to have to plant your seed.

01:07:28.260 You got good genes.

01:07:29.140 What if there's some secret mission that they know this asteroid is going to hit the Earth

01:07:32.240 and they got to get people like him to Mars?

01:07:34.460 And the entire Boutine L.A.

01:07:36.220 To save the Son of the team off the Earth immediately.

01:07:38.940 To save.

01:07:39.940 Number one podcast on Earth.

01:07:41.140 Back to my mustache.

01:07:41.740 I want to die on Mars.

01:07:44.120 I tweeted this before.

01:07:45.260 I want to die on Mars.

01:07:46.140 I think it's going to be possible.

01:07:46.900 I just don't want to die on Earth.

01:07:47.880 It seems kind of boring.

01:07:49.020 He said we'll be there in the 30s.

01:07:51.100 What?

01:07:51.300 We'll be there in the 30s

01:07:53.020 The mid 30s

01:07:54.620 Can you come back real quick

01:07:55.460 I just have another question

01:07:57.260 Okay so

01:07:58.520 I'm sure you know about the

01:08:01.260 Like the test simulation

01:08:05.060 The group of people that

01:08:06.580 Stayed in the dome in Hawaii

01:08:09.160 And simulated

01:08:10.540 Okay so I talked to one of the girls

01:08:13.340 That did it in the first group

01:08:15.080 In the DM

01:08:16.060 He said no it's funny about

01:08:19.080 We texted

01:08:19.680 he's going deep man he's like what's up girl tell me about that dome

01:08:24.460 and speaking of dome is that how you did it yeah yeah it was smooth but then after that i was like

01:08:32.880 hey like when are we going to mars i asked her she goes that's one thing we learned actually

01:08:38.980 in the dome she goes it doesn't look like we'll be making it to mars in our lifetime and she was

01:08:45.180 my age is that not true i mean i'm much more optimistic than that like not only will we see

01:08:50.000 it happen in our lifetimes but i i think 15 years from now 2034 is what i'm calling there's hope

01:08:56.020 and he's gonna do it why did she why would someone say that why would someone say that

01:08:59.880 we can't go to mars what are the things that make that make it not possible yeah i mean we were

01:09:03.780 talking about this a little bit earlier but radiation is is a big issue there there are

01:09:08.580 ways to solve this though uh if you live underground for instance like if you are able

01:09:13.460 to dig tunnels on Mars.

01:09:15.160 There's actually an effort

01:09:15.760 right now for that.

01:09:17.080 If you live behind

01:09:17.860 a wall of water,

01:09:18.760 also can protect you

01:09:19.680 from radiation.

01:09:20.440 What?

01:09:21.060 Yeah.

01:09:22.180 But the hardest parts

01:09:23.880 also are bringing

01:09:25.540 enough water and food.

01:09:27.680 Yeah.

01:09:28.000 Greg Paul.

01:09:28.720 He's got so much

01:09:31.240 fucking saved up, dude.

01:09:32.500 Your dad's like,

01:09:33.320 I knew it.

01:09:34.780 He's like,

01:09:35.100 I can get these jugs

01:09:36.420 down to Atlantis

01:09:37.160 right away.

01:09:38.720 So is terraforming Mars

01:09:41.820 like the goal?

01:09:43.460 before like just getting people there i mean the first few missions will be pretty much just can we

01:09:49.140 do this it's a feasibility test of going there and it's not a short mission either earth and

01:09:54.240 mars only align every 26 months and so you have to do it how long is the mission isn't it 333 days

01:10:00.000 it's nine months to mars nine months back but in order to catch earth and mars when they're in

01:10:05.660 closest proximity it's actually eight months of a stay so the whole thing is 26 months that's like

01:10:10.180 a trip to long beach and traffic that's not a big fucking deal we're used to it but are you serious

01:10:14.660 you don't take the 405 to mars okay i think elon musk would say he might be able to he's gonna put

01:10:22.300 one of those little rail systems yeah but then like okay so is the technology available like

01:10:26.860 do we have like a spaceship that can make it and like you know keep recirculate air and uh you know

01:10:31.820 have enough water in the ship and all that kind of stuff is that technology even available there

01:10:36.000 there are two architectures right now that are looking plausible for it.

01:10:40.200 One is through SpaceX called Starship.

01:10:42.960 And then there's another through NASA called SLS or Space Launch System.

01:10:46.760 And both are prepared for this.

01:10:48.600 Who do you trust more, NASA or SpaceX?

01:10:52.460 I mean, trust is there with both.

01:10:53.980 Honestly, it's really whoever can get there.

01:10:55.820 Such a diplomat, I love it.

01:10:57.440 I mean, I've worked for both.

01:10:59.720 But honestly, either one would be, I'd be glad to go on.

01:11:04.920 Wow. Incredible.

01:11:05.660 Well, thank you, bro.

01:11:06.240 Thank you again.

01:11:06.960 Good luck.

01:11:07.240 I want to see this guy.

01:11:08.580 Yeah, see this guy make it.

01:11:09.600 Yeah, for real.

01:11:10.840 You know?

01:11:11.240 Seems dangerous.

01:11:14.080 Mysterious, right?

01:11:14.980 Seems dangerous.

01:11:15.900 Well, I was talking to him earlier because there was like this guy that was living in the space station and like he, his body changed because of it.

01:11:22.520 He got really sick.

01:11:23.720 Oh, yeah.

01:11:24.400 Remember that guy?

01:11:24.900 Yes, yes.

01:11:25.360 And his whole body changed.

01:11:26.800 And I was like, damn.

01:11:27.660 So I don't think we're that close.

01:11:29.940 I saw him at the airport.

01:11:31.220 Oh, you did?

01:11:31.740 Yeah.

01:11:32.260 Yeah, I saw him at the airport.

01:11:33.220 One of the twins.

01:11:34.080 Bald guy.

01:11:34.740 Yeah.

01:11:35.020 I was going to say something to him

01:11:36.980 Because that's the type of person

01:11:38.940 I fanboy over

01:11:40.000 The people who are actually making a difference

01:11:42.200 You're making a difference

01:11:44.340 I'm talking about the heavy hitters

01:11:47.480 Dude's been to space

01:11:48.820 He chilled in the ISS

01:11:50.260 I'm just going to tweak you a little bit

01:11:53.700 Is he making more of a difference

01:11:55.960 Because he went to space

01:11:56.980 Where everybody's already been already by now

01:11:59.320 Or are you making more of a difference

01:12:00.820 Because you reached 10.5 billion people

01:12:03.000 With your video content

01:12:03.940 Just something to think about

01:12:04.920 it's all to think about who knows i i don't know if it's he goes who knows i don't know if it's a

01:12:08.900 game of like who created more i think it might be uh you know you guys are both mavericks in your

01:12:13.940 own path but i didn't say anything to him i i pussed out bro because i saw someone else go up

01:12:18.420 to legit fanboy well i i not not so i saw someone else go up to him and he wasn't very receptive

01:12:24.320 yeah he's like dude i just got back from earth and by the way he was with his wife who is

01:12:30.900 Senator. Can we get my mustache

01:12:33.220 off the screen? Yeah, I love it, man.

01:12:35.020 It's just incredible. It goes across your whole face.

01:12:37.340 I told you I was filming a 70s

01:12:39.140 show and I had to have a big

01:12:40.660 mustache. Look up, I'm dying up here. Guys, I got

01:12:42.940 some more facts that are

01:12:44.480 pretty important. I mean, that one's big, but

01:12:46.980 The Matrix 4

01:12:48.980 is in the works with Keanu Reeves.

01:12:50.620 That is way bigger. That is way

01:12:52.940 bigger. That is way bigger.

01:12:54.660 Wait, wait, wait, wait. The first

01:12:56.520 Matrix, brilliant.

01:12:58.540 Genius movie. To me, I need you to

01:13:00.480 I need you to tread lightly here.

01:13:02.400 To me, one of the best movies, you know, one of the most influential movies, Matrix.

01:13:07.760 Absolutely.

01:13:08.380 But two and three, okay?

01:13:10.500 Look out!

01:13:11.420 Two and three, like, what?

01:13:13.100 You liked three?

01:13:14.260 Two, fucking almost an equal classic to one.

01:13:17.960 Three, I hear you, I hear you.

01:13:20.720 I literally cannot.

01:13:22.220 I cannot.

01:13:23.940 You're killing me right now.

01:13:25.640 I think they were all important, dude.

01:13:27.240 I think they were all important.

01:13:29.060 Dylan says no.

01:13:30.100 Our producer says no.

01:13:30.840 He's just agreeing with the guests.

01:13:32.100 He's being a show.

01:13:32.520 You also, man, your movie selection is interesting.

01:13:34.940 I was about to say, give me your top 10 movies.

01:13:38.300 It's actually known the exact opposite.

01:13:40.400 I'll give you my top three.

01:13:41.620 Give me your top three movies of all time.

01:13:42.880 No Country for Old Men is probably in the top three.

01:13:45.980 Okay.

01:13:46.360 A movie by the name of Sicario that was with Benicio Del Toro.

01:13:51.680 Okay.

01:13:54.440 And I'm trying to think of what my third.

01:13:55.940 Oh, I like a movie called Children of Men as well.

01:13:58.500 maybe not like you're like i know you probably like despicable me like shit like that i will

01:14:03.060 stab you all right well what are your fucking top three mr griffin godfather number one all right

01:14:08.340 see this is what i'm talking about you're mainstream i'm not mainstream that's a brilliant

01:14:12.640 movie how dare you it's class how dare you i'll back off it's a classic go ahead school of rock

01:14:18.380 jack black dude i'm fucking real school of rock that i can watch school of rock if you put school

01:14:24.060 gonna rock on right now no matter where it is in the movie i will sit and be laughing and enjoy

01:14:28.500 myself that is uh but that is just one of the best movies i gotta watch it okay you gotta watch

01:14:32.660 that uh matrix love the matrix okay okay 10 things i hate about you i've been hearing a lot about i

01:14:38.940 cannot believe you pulled that out dude you that's incredible no it's awesome first of all i have

01:14:43.000 like it's really all about genres like if i had to pick my you know teen angst drama list it actually

01:14:48.260 goes 10 things i hate about you clueless mean girls yeah legally blonde and then not another

01:14:55.280 scary movie but not like but you're just not throwing like kids in there and shit no no no

01:15:00.860 depressing that guy's a pervert the guy that makes those movies um he made that one what's the one

01:15:07.020 ken burn what's the you know one that's the band in the united states do you mean not another teen

01:15:11.500 movie yeah not another teen movie not yeah not another teen movie do you want to know a fun fact

01:15:16.040 yeah fun fact he was hit it no do you know that do you know the the scene where the the chick

01:15:20.080 makes out with the older woman yeah yeah that was the same the older woman was the same person that

01:15:27.000 kissed david dobrik in airplane mode really and we've gone full circle ladies and gentlemen

01:15:32.920 so do you think it's okay for old men to be hit um i'm just kidding let me and by the way hey can

01:15:38.900 i say depends if he's like look i want to go back to the facts yeah give us some real facts

01:15:45.860 yeah but how can warner bros is going to be producing what are they going to do with keanu

01:15:53.240 reeves though how's he going to be like you know he's got no eyes it's like john wick did you guys

01:15:57.540 in the matrix or does he have to be could be did you guys see i wonder if they'll do this did you

01:16:02.280 guys see gemini man with will smith did you see what they did to his face that all that whole like

01:16:08.420 you making people young yeah i saw i saw an imaging the de-aging stuff i saw an image of

01:16:14.380 right there the one yep boom i saw this yesterday and it's pretty wild yeah it's pretty really did

01:16:19.980 it even i thought how do you act that good with that rig you just get used to it after a while

01:16:25.660 i guess you just like you're like whatever it's a great question what is this gonna but this is

01:16:28.960 very controversial though this de-aging why you know well because we're talking you know people

01:16:33.220 are talking about like you know like like they're gonna do this for everyone they're not giving other

01:16:37.360 people chances or i don't know like oh oh like you know for actresses it is kind of a big hack

01:16:42.360 they seem to be only doing it for men like i wear the i don't see you know you know are there women

01:16:47.000 that have done this anybody know there have been women that have been de-aged in movies um yes

01:16:50.980 yes uh star wars princess leia oh nice do you remember she she walked in at the very end in

01:16:57.480 one of the recent star wars she was she was way young there's an even there's an even what

01:17:02.020 there's an even bigger scandal that's been being talked about on twitter with uh people making

01:17:10.340 people look like other people in videos because they're starting to say deep fakes

01:17:14.580 this shit's great because yo like they're like some funny ones this shit's gonna change the

01:17:19.840 world like people are gonna be on camera killing people and it's not really gonna be them on camera

01:17:25.040 killing people it's gonna be hacks and it's gonna be eric out there just gonna get punching old men

01:17:29.320 in the head because we know he wants to you'll probably be able to commit some serious crime

01:17:33.100 and be like that wasn't me yeah that wasn't that was a deep fake that that's what i'm getting at

01:17:37.260 but there's technology i'm sure that there's enough technology to actually see this one's

01:17:43.840 crazy yeah this one is wild this is where i hear what you're saying but this video might disprove

01:17:48.700 that at the beginning before anything you get together and you read through the script and um

01:17:54.440 So it's like, you know, all these heavyweights, like, you know, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert

01:17:59.480 Denny Jr., everybody.

01:18:00.820 And at the end is like me, like, you know, like, hey, happy to be here, guys.

01:18:07.300 And some other supporting guys.

01:18:08.660 And then Tom Cruise walks in.

01:18:10.900 Oh, my God, dude.

01:18:11.500 And even those guys are like, whoa, and he's super stoked to be there.

01:18:15.500 Dude, crazy.

01:18:15.820 Yeah, oh, boom.

01:18:16.740 He turns into Tom Cruise.

01:18:18.660 Like, literally, is Tom Cruise right now.

01:18:21.220 Hey, keep going, dude.

01:18:22.500 He's like, wow.

01:18:24.440 So he comes over and he sits next to me,

01:18:26.860 and I think he had been briefed on some of the supporting guys,

01:18:29.920 but he was, like, trying to place me, you know?

01:18:33.820 So he sat down next to me, and he's like, I, uh...

01:18:36.260 Oh, my God, dude.

01:18:39.680 You just can't tell.

01:18:40.820 I love your work.

01:18:43.220 You can't tell?

01:18:43.980 Dude, that's Tom Cruise, as far as I'm concerned.

01:18:46.700 I've never seen a more perfect segue for something,

01:18:50.080 a quick one in my entire life.

01:18:51.340 This is what happened with Jake and Erica Costell.

01:18:54.440 at lunch 100 what happened that was not jake paul at that lunch that was a deep fake so all right

01:19:02.240 let's talk about this eric i cannot i don't know how much you know about this i don't know i'm

01:19:06.080 so so my my brother my brother just got married congrats and uh all right and uh a picture came

01:19:13.520 out the other day and it looked like someone was eating lunch with my brother's ex-girlfriend

01:19:19.480 erica costell and the whole internet was saying that it was jake but they assumed that it was

01:19:24.400 again are we sure it looks not it looks like him but it's a deep fake bro it looks like jake's just

01:19:30.880 but he ate too much chick-fil-a we know this is erica but i'm just when i zoom in here this

01:19:35.420 brother's not that fat that's what i'm saying this yeah bro it looks like a deep fake oh they

01:19:40.500 did look at his forehead up at the top yeah see how it's smudged right there here that looks like

01:19:46.340 Jay Leno as a young Jay Leno.

01:19:48.020 That's what I'm saying.

01:19:48.860 I think it is Jay Leno.

01:19:49.840 And then there's another one.

01:19:51.240 Just like, I don't know if my brother...

01:19:53.420 Would tuck his shirt in like that?

01:19:54.540 Yeah, that's just not like him.

01:19:57.280 It's crazy.

01:19:58.080 And by the way, shame on everybody that went on the internet

01:20:00.180 and was talking shit to Jay because it's like clearly not.

01:20:03.620 It's not.

01:20:04.220 I mean, it doesn't.

01:20:05.000 Again, I'm just, I want to pose the question.

01:20:06.860 Sucky part of fame, right?

01:20:07.840 Yes.

01:20:08.820 Yeah, got to sleep in the bed you make.

01:20:10.460 And Tana responded.

01:20:11.920 She said,

01:20:12.240 I think it's like a dog call.

01:20:19.180 Yeah, I just wanted to clear the air a little bit because it just, you know.

01:20:22.120 I think there's a lot of people out there still talking about it.

01:20:24.240 And I think it's important that we make them.

01:20:26.480 Here's the thing.

01:20:27.000 Let me ask you this.

01:20:27.800 Is your brother and his wife, they good, right?

01:20:30.540 Yeah, it's the love story of the 20th century.

01:20:32.760 So it's like, this is just what's going to happen.

01:20:35.760 It's always going to happen.

01:20:36.760 Like, this is the world we live in now.

01:20:38.080 you know and uh you know you guys are you know you're you're the kind of people that are in the

01:20:42.380 public eye you're you're on the cutting edge of like you know this kind of technology and like

01:20:47.080 always being out there on social media and it's just like this is part of it and so if you're

01:20:51.960 going to date anybody they got to be have a strong will they have to know that you guys are good and

01:20:56.380 then as long as they're good who cares what any of these people are saying who cares because because

01:21:01.500 because if it seeps into their relationship at all the only thing is this lameo which makes me

01:21:06.800 think that they're not good oh is that what you got i see i've seen me like she was laughing

01:21:11.840 with the whole the mail oh yeah that looks like a laughing my ass off you know oh yeah yeah and

01:21:18.900 also it's good to know that she supports the welsh terrier foundation because i'm a huge fan

01:21:22.920 as well of the wtf they're yeah they're great great people yeah great people welsh terrier

01:21:27.360 foundation um hey what what i'm sorry we have a welsh in the family i'm of welsh descent i'm of

01:21:39.900 welsh descent i can see 40 i'm from wales my ancestors are from wales that makes sense what

01:21:44.840 can you tell us about hollywood what's one thing you've learned that you think is a good piece of

01:21:48.540 advice for those aspiring to sell their soul to entertainment oh that's a question for me um well

01:21:54.360 I just think that if that's really your dream,

01:21:55.940 I think you should, like, focus on it and follow your dream.

01:21:58.480 And, you know.

01:21:59.600 What happens if you suck?

01:22:01.300 Can you cut this shit?

01:22:02.160 Is that your real answer?

01:22:03.000 What happens if you suck?

01:22:04.700 No, no, but this is the thing.

01:22:05.560 We all know those people who are like,

01:22:06.660 I'm going to be a professional bodybuilder.

01:22:08.640 And they're like, I just don't got to aim them like twigs type.

01:22:12.240 But here's the thing.

01:22:12.980 So it's rare that you find someone who has the drive.

01:22:17.640 There's two kinds of people.

01:22:18.400 You got people that, like, have the drive.

01:22:19.880 Yep.

01:22:20.420 But they don't have the talent.

01:22:21.320 But they got the drive.

01:22:22.520 They're going to.

01:22:22.760 But see, that kind of person is going to realize at a certain point, I can't do this.

01:22:28.840 So there's a lot of people that talk about doing stuff.

01:22:31.700 My problem in L.A. is so many people think trying to do something is the same as actually doing something.

01:22:37.580 So those people, I'm not worried about those people because they're going to be floundering around.

01:22:42.660 But the people that are really going to get focused and they're going to chase their dream, take that shot.

01:22:48.440 if you fail at it in the process of trying to achieve that goal you will find the best of

01:22:55.540 yourself and you're going to pivot into something else that you're going to find and you're going

01:23:00.100 to be successful because those kind of people they just they just shine yep you know i like that

01:23:05.160 i'll take that real answer i'm the exact opposite on that front i have i have the juice but no drive

01:23:11.180 i just like hanging out by the pool yeah but you but you know like girls i would say a lot of that

01:23:15.180 I mean, I forced myself, but I like lazy rivers.

01:23:19.420 But I'm saying I think that right now what you're going through from the beginning of the podcast is your life's about to change.

01:23:25.600 You just said earlier, you both were talking about that you're more productive.

01:23:28.880 You have more drive.

01:23:29.980 You have more.

01:23:30.520 So this is like a new way of even looking at the world right now that you both are going to experience as you stay sober, as you start eating healthy, as you start making different choices about how you talk to people.

01:23:40.380 And next thing you know, you guys are like, you're going to be like, you know what?

01:23:43.100 I actually want to start that, you know, carpentry business that I was always thinking about when I was a kid.

01:23:47.480 I have always wanted to be a carpenter.

01:23:48.940 I've wanted to make bowls out of wood.

01:23:50.640 No, you know what I really want.

01:23:51.660 Really?

01:23:52.180 Yeah, you didn't know that?

01:23:52.940 Oh, a woodworker.

01:23:54.380 Yeah.

01:23:54.740 Well, then you're going to have a little wood station over there.

01:23:56.780 My granddaddy's granddaddy did it.

01:23:57.600 We're going to get Brad the fuck out of here.

01:23:59.560 Is that real?

01:24:01.360 Sorry, Brad.

01:24:02.020 We're going to transform your workstation.

01:24:03.420 That's going to be the woodworking area.

01:24:04.660 All I'm saying is, like, whatever, like, your life's changing right now.

01:24:08.360 So I just feel like you should ride that wave of, like, productivity and positivity.

01:24:12.840 i was i was lying he he's right i dude i work all day exactly i'm just kidding dude but even still

01:24:18.240 though what i'm saying is this is the hard part is people that do have drive but they've made some

01:24:23.180 bad choices with drugs and alcohol you know they still think but i can still do it look look what

01:24:27.940 i've done all i'm saying is imagine what you could do now yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a big one that's

01:24:34.420 a big fact i i've i've every time i go sober i never ever regret being sober there might be times

01:24:43.380 where like i'll be out and i'll be like man like i could use a drink so i could dance a little

01:24:46.360 harder but i never ever ever i'm like man i wish i wasn't sober man that was a bad decision

01:24:52.340 but 90 percent of the time that i'm i drink i'm like wow i i regret all of that yeah everything

01:24:59.540 i did was stupid i like people always say like oh you can't be sober in the club it's just so

01:25:04.100 boring so i have to drink it's like no the reason why it's boring is because you're not supposed to

01:25:07.460 be there when you're sober you realize you're not supposed to be there he was dancing the other night

01:25:12.460 he was getting his groove on there's a way to embrace down shades on for like for like 30

01:25:19.860 minutes straight some girl comes up to me she's like i can't believe you're you're sober right

01:25:24.080 now i was like honestly me either i'm having a good ass time well then you just realize like

01:25:27.520 shit i can't really dance i can't even dance i think on a real note though you're there having

01:25:34.880 fun and they're suppressing something to some degree 100 there's two different ways that you

01:25:40.040 can that you can go out and party you can legit party or you can suppress shit that's not always

01:25:44.780 bad though because i i'd i'd bet that suppression bro is honestly just boredom like like people

01:25:50.480 are just bored they have nothing else to do they don't know how they don't know how to express

01:25:53.760 that boredom that's the thing boredom is really really really good and it's it's where creativity

01:25:59.260 is sparked about so a lot of people what they do is their boards they go drink they go do something

01:26:04.300 that's or also not to cut you off but i'm just because i want to jump in what you just add on

01:26:09.540 to that is like some people drink take drugs uh because they don't have coping mechanisms you know

01:26:14.620 yeah they don't have to they don't know how to cope with some of the things that are going on

01:26:17.540 in their life social anxiety is the key driver that's the key so they go so they make that choice

01:26:22.260 it's not because like i i think everything in moderation is fine like if you're a person that

01:26:26.200 like you go i'm out with my friends we're gonna have a couple and we're in a safe environment

01:26:30.140 and then we're gonna do that that's fine but when it comes to thing where it's like i need this

01:26:34.920 to do such and such well then that's when it's a problem yeah you know these people like we go to

01:26:40.060 the club i'm out again let's pre-game we gotta pre-game when it's like that then it's like okay

01:26:45.200 is this really you know that's why abiza was so dangerous and like literally i think i flushed it

01:26:50.020 all out of my system is because like you you can't go to a club in Ibiza sober it's just like it

01:26:56.980 doesn't exist like Ibiza is the party city of the world they throw tomatoes at you

01:27:03.440 you have to have a breathalyzer to go in the club yeah get your sober ass out of here

01:27:08.580 the topic the topic for me is is uh is an interesting one I like he I think a lot of

01:27:14.540 people if you're drinking because and you have a really really good time when you drink and you

01:27:17.960 go out and you party and it's in moderation i'm all for that the thing with me is i think a lot

01:27:22.120 of people do drink out of a desire to kill that social anxiety so that they can get out there

01:27:26.600 have a conversation whatever i think people like logan awesome sober awesome like he's awesome

01:27:32.680 both ways me this is me normally this is me sober outgoing talkative like i want to i want to talk

01:27:39.180 jive be funny all that shit when i drink i actually shell up and i become less funny less talkative

01:27:45.780 less me like i'm very i'm very like it numbs me very much and also nubs my penis quite a bit

01:27:52.260 which is not and we're back yeah but yeah dude this sober run's been great already dude it's

01:28:00.740 been a it's been a week and i feel great i know he's feeling fucking good but i think i just think

01:28:05.400 the problem is we always think that like people because i don't drink i never have i just not my

01:28:09.220 thing yo that's a lot of people you've never drank no no i've like the first time i the first

01:28:15.800 time i like okay i went on vacation with my buddy and i said i said okay i'll try a few drinks

01:28:25.200 because you know let me live a little right so i thought so like on the plane over i had a little

01:28:30.220 champagne i was like okay this is you know whatever tastes like socks yeah i was like whatever i had

01:28:34.620 like a banana colada and i was like this alcohol just ruined this really nice shake you know what

01:28:39.660 i mean you know and then i had i was like this was a delicious shake that has tastes like medicine

01:28:45.540 i was like what the fuck yeah okay and then i had like i'm at the bar i was in um the cook islands

01:28:50.900 and i'm at the bar and they had like oh today's special drink and i was like okay i'll try the

01:28:54.640 special drink fuck it right i had like i had like an inch of it and i was like what is happening i

01:29:02.020 was like i don't like this and that was it that's so i i tried it that was done and that was like

01:29:05.920 i'm talking about that's in my recent adult life what about other activities no and i i just

01:29:10.820 actually recently started doing like um a little weed with cbd you know like the one three combo

01:29:17.500 four combo because you know just to because my brain doesn't turn off when i get back from the

01:29:21.940 club and i'm like oh you know i'm going to talk about jokes and then you know so just to like

01:29:25.800 relax and inflammation how you like it's fine you know what it's funny that i i didn't realize i

01:29:31.220 was a little high till the other day i was on this other podcast and i was driving over it was

01:29:35.320 it was in the morning and i was puffing on the thing a few times it's like a one four you know

01:29:40.000 four one four one whatever you get what i'm saying four one and uh when i got there i was

01:29:44.900 sitting there and the lady goes hey are you okay and i was like oh shit it was the first time i

01:29:52.120 was like oh man you know what i can't be doing i can't you know i gotta be careful you know yeah

01:29:57.480 you know because that shit is like like a mixed drink do you think about going up to like 30 30

01:30:02.560 no no no 18 ones i'm like no no no yeah i have those yeah i have all of them you know because

01:30:07.140 i get the but you know it's like i was thinking like this don't even affect me you know what i

01:30:11.460 mean so i said let me go up to one you know one four you find yourself walking into like a

01:30:15.900 mcdonald's dress as a chicken you're like i know i feel fine dude you're like nothing but that was

01:30:20.060 the first time i think that was the first time i was like oh i'm legit high the only other time

01:30:23.560 i've ever been high is like i but my friend gave me i said i have a headache they gave me

01:30:28.060 prescription migraine medication oh shit and i was gloopy i was like curling my hair and i was like

01:30:34.800 whoa you know it's only and that was like when i was in my 20s you know i mean so is the um is the

01:30:40.180 the like never taking a sip of alcohol or like the the sober lifestyle is that typical for

01:30:46.780 comedians because i know chris stilly is the same way for a second no no it's not it's not it's just

01:30:52.720 opposite it's all about it's all about people's choices no it's not because like you're around

01:30:56.520 alcohol all the time i know a lot of comics that drink and drink and drink too much robin williams

01:31:01.560 chris farley carlin like it's just an environment of like drugs and alcohol and that kind of stuff

01:31:07.020 so i just made a choice i just it was like i remember in 1999 that um you know going into

01:31:14.920 that it was like you know y2k all right yeah i was at i was at a new year's eve party and people

01:31:21.660 were just crazy and i made the choice then i was like oh i'm i made i hadn't drank to that point

01:31:29.040 and once i saw how everybody was and i'm taking care of a baby and my friends like vomiting in

01:31:33.700 the in the in the bathtub and i was like ah that's it nope not gonna be me i don't want it

01:31:39.260 because i don't get it i don't get why you would drink and you can't remember what happened

01:31:43.260 why is that fun can you tell me that's my question to you i'll tell you why i don't get it i'll tell

01:31:48.060 you why me personally I love a good challenge and when I'm when I'm drinking challenge when I'm

01:31:56.140 drinking it's like I have to work hard to act normal and I like that like I'll yo I'll be I'll

01:32:04.880 be I'll be nine out of ten drunk you won't even know sometimes ten out of ten Lloyd comes out

01:32:09.480 you'll know but I could be just obliterated you have no idea because like that that challenge

01:32:15.960 for me to try to act like I'm sober and have

01:32:17.780 conversations and be normal Logan without

01:32:19.860 embarrassing myself. It may be the weirdest reason

01:32:21.820 to drink I've ever heard. That's one.

01:32:24.080 That's one. Also, also,

01:32:25.320 it's like fun to

01:32:27.760 be out of control and be a little

01:32:29.700 reckless. Did you see Wolf of Wall Street? Yeah, we had him on the show.

01:32:32.140 Okay, so remember at the end,

01:32:33.900 you know, in his mind,

01:32:36.300 he thinks he drove the car.

01:32:38.200 Ah, yes. That's you.

01:32:41.760 When Lloyd comes out. I think that you think

01:32:43.800 that you're like the same, but I bet you

01:32:45.740 like if you videotape like yourself and you watch it you'll be like ah i didn't know that i did that

01:32:51.900 or said this or acted a certain way you might be right but but there are people that are what is

01:32:56.760 it called functional alcoholics you know there's functional alcoholics but well no you're not

01:33:00.880 because that's alcohol i'm not saying you're an alcoholic you're a functional drinker i'm talking

01:33:04.420 yeah that's what i mean yeah yeah do you see do you see the uh movie the gambler with mark walberg

01:33:08.500 yes so there's a part where goodman is john goodman right he says uh because because walberg's

01:33:14.960 always getting drunk in the movie and goodman says i got drunk one time in high school i pissed

01:33:19.440 myself i never fucking got drunk ever again yeah yeah so you seem like one of those people that's

01:33:23.840 like yo like i got fucked up one time i didn't like it wasn't that i actually wasn't even me

01:33:27.960 getting fucked it was just seeing people fucked up and i was like i don't i was just like i just

01:33:31.640 didn't get it it's like people that like the next day they're the head that they're oh my god i can't

01:33:35.900 even you know and i was like you don't remember what happened last night you know especially when

01:33:39.360 i and for me too especially when i see girls like that it's the most annoying i just like oh my god

01:33:44.620 yeah being sober and seeing drunk people is is it's a lot it's a wake-up call but it's a wake-up

01:33:49.960 call for sure you're just like yo what what the fuck are you doing but here's something i had to

01:33:53.300 learn though i had to learn this and i had learned it hard way when i was really young it was like

01:33:56.860 you don't want to be the guy that's like oh you're drinking no of course not you don't want to be

01:34:01.520 that guy because then people are like they don't go you know what he's right let's not drink you

01:34:06.280 know what they do they go i don't want to hang out with that guy you know so i was like so i

01:34:11.260 learn i know how to be around but a lot of times though i don't want to be around if i'm the same

01:34:15.600 at a bar after a show or something like that and it was people once i see people starting to get a

01:34:19.820 certain way i gotta leave because i'm the sober one i don't want to be responsible i don't want

01:34:25.720 to hear like later like why you let that happen or you know you know that you're sober bro you

01:34:30.900 couldn't stop him from punching that old man right exactly what's wrong with you dude that's but

01:34:35.320 that's the thing so i'm like oh this is getting out of hand so i'm out but i'll still have fun

01:34:39.920 I'll be okay. I'll buy some rounds.

01:34:42.120 I'll be like, all right, you know. But after that,

01:34:44.000 I'm like, all right, I'm out.

01:34:45.740 You're fucking daddy, bro. You're buying rounds, not

01:34:47.980 drinking. Yeah, you are kind of daddy.

01:34:49.900 I was so tired of being designated driver

01:34:52.060 when I was younger. I don't know if people liked me

01:34:53.920 or if they wanted me to be designated driver.

01:34:56.060 You get that call. Yo, Aaron, what you

01:34:58.040 doing, man? You still

01:35:00.000 got that Tahoe?

01:35:02.140 The four-seater, yeah. You got PayPal?

01:35:04.240 Yeah, can you pick us up? You know what I mean?

01:35:06.600 Yo, I want to do

01:35:07.440 the audio only. Is that cool?

01:35:09.580 I mean, I'm going to do it anyways, regardless of your answer, but it's like this, but it's

01:35:16.500 audio.

01:35:17.120 There's no faces on Spotify and iTunes.

01:35:18.980 Oh, okay.

01:35:19.480 So no, you're it.

01:35:20.520 We show your body, just not your head.

01:35:22.100 Oh God.

01:35:23.380 Don't do that.

01:35:24.320 Hey, thank you for coming on impulsive, bro.

01:35:27.100 It's the number one podcast in the world.

01:35:28.400 Where can they find you on Instagram?

01:35:29.620 You can find me at Eric Griffin with a K E R I K Griffin, G R I F F I N. I have my own

01:35:34.660 podcast.

01:35:35.300 Let's go.

01:35:35.980 Griffin with Griffin.

01:35:37.960 There we go.

01:35:38.540 I'm going to be on it, by the way.

01:35:39.780 He's going to be on it.

01:35:40.220 I'm coming.

01:35:40.620 I'm coming on it.

01:35:41.520 He just said I had to get to like 100,000 before he would even look at me.

01:35:44.680 That's right.

01:35:46.000 You're not even there yet.

01:35:48.640 I'm looking right now.

01:35:49.460 You're at 90.9K.

01:35:50.700 Oh, you're close.

01:35:51.240 I'm working on it.

01:35:51.900 I'm coming.

01:35:52.340 Oh, that's just Instagram, though.

01:35:53.680 You know what I mean?

01:35:54.280 Oh, you got the Twitter, too.

01:35:55.000 I'm talking about my-

01:35:55.720 Yo, go follow Eric Griffin on Instagram.

01:35:57.240 Get him to 100K, and we'll send you a pair of shorts.

01:35:59.760 Yeah.

01:36:00.180 Give me a-

01:36:00.740 Yeah.

01:36:01.600 What he said, you know?

01:36:02.780 But anyways, thanks for having me on.

01:36:04.360 I appreciate it.

01:36:04.780 Of course, brother.

01:36:05.400 Thank you guys for listening.

01:36:07.420 I'm sorry.

01:36:08.160 Were you going to say anything?

01:36:09.540 Thank you guys for listening to a false of the number one podcast in the world.

01:36:12.020 Hit that subscribe button.

01:36:12.940 We'll see you next time.

01:36:13.740 Peace.

01:36:15.220 Here we are.

01:36:16.780 We're still here.

01:36:17.900 I mean, it's the same thing.

01:36:18.880 I want to know what the biggest laugh you ever got on stage was.

01:36:22.500 Is there a joke that just takes the cake?

01:36:25.760 It's not about the joke so much as it's about moments.

01:36:29.740 You know, just the moments.

01:36:31.140 You might have a moment, you know.

01:36:32.800 so i remember i was like i a guy attacked me one time at the comedy store i've told this story

01:36:37.980 before but anyway the guy was being drunk and he like he rushed the stage because i was like

01:36:41.440 getting on him you know and he like threw a chair at me and like you know and i threw the chair back

01:36:45.940 and then like you know he punched him in the face you know and then like you know they took him out

01:36:51.980 and then the place was pandemonium so i went on stage and i grabbed the mic and i was like

01:36:55.180 everybody sit down you know people going nuts and they just were like you know everybody because i

01:37:02.060 I used to work in a school, so I had that dean of students' voice.

01:37:05.320 So everybody was like, oh, okay.

01:37:06.720 And then I finished my set.

01:37:08.540 I did comedy, and then at the end, I got a standing ovation.

01:37:12.240 So that was one of those moments.

01:37:13.660 It's just about a moment.

01:37:14.460 When the comedian fires back.

01:37:15.880 When literally you punch the guy in the face.

01:37:17.440 Yeah, yeah, man.

01:37:18.060 I had to punch him in the face.

01:37:19.060 Is there footage of this anywhere?

01:37:20.040 No, I wish.

01:37:20.760 Was he old?

01:37:21.120 I'd be more famous.

01:37:21.940 Was he old?

01:37:22.660 And was this at a pub in Iowa?

01:37:23.740 Yes, mother.

01:37:25.200 No, he wasn't.

01:37:26.380 What's the?

01:37:27.140 He was a drunk.

01:37:27.800 You know what?

01:37:28.320 He looked like you, actually.

01:37:29.680 Fuck.

01:37:30.440 He was an asshole.

01:37:31.680 By the way, it was me

01:37:33.240 By the way, it fucking was me

01:37:35.400 This is your chance to apologize

01:37:36.880 I've made a severe and continuous last intention

01:37:39.880 No, but I've had weird

01:37:40.600 Even for you, don't you have like

01:37:42.460 You just have a moment

01:37:44.580 It isn't necessarily about like

01:37:46.620 The words, it's just like

01:37:48.820 All these things coalesce

01:37:50.260 My favorite moments by far in all my vlogs

01:37:52.740 And everything I've ever shot are when

01:37:54.440 People get in my face

01:37:55.620 When like haters, real life haters come up to me

01:37:58.260 Who don't know who I am

01:37:59.680 they're just they're just like some guy who's having a bad day and he comes and he's like

01:38:02.900 you cut me off whatever there's a dude who like spit on my car and then some dude came up and

01:38:09.760 told me he was gonna like report me to the police it's the classic like they're going to take

01:38:12.600 pictures of your license plate wearing an uber and uh yeah those are my favorite yeah i just

01:38:17.900 love fucking with people i'm a bit of a antagonizer so do you still do i have a question for you

01:38:21.720 something i've always wanted to talk to you about is like are you still doing those videos like with

01:38:24.780 your brother like where you're like like playing pranks on people in public uh not nah not so much

01:38:29.420 not so much oh okay that's good because i wanted to tell you this because my my uh my friend he's

01:38:34.080 got two kids and and a shotgun and you know he's just got two kids and he was talking to me about

01:38:38.720 it one day he was like he's like man i i can't let my kids watch logan paul and he they can't

01:38:45.220 watch anymore because they're doing that they're they're doing that out in public and you know

01:38:50.940 making people upset oh they're mimicking they're mimicking it you know and i was like and he was

01:38:55.440 like i can't let them watch anymore because they don't understand and i thought and i was like

01:38:59.280 I thought it's because when kids see things on YouTube,

01:39:02.520 they feel like YouTube is 100% real.

01:39:05.600 Yeah.

01:39:06.000 A hundred percent.

01:39:06.580 It's like some sort of documentary footage,

01:39:08.360 not realizing that like, no, a lot of this is staged.

01:39:11.300 It's like a skit.

01:39:13.060 Yeah.

01:39:13.420 You know, but I just wanted you to know that.

01:39:15.720 I'm glad to hear that you're not necessarily doing that as much anymore

01:39:18.080 because there are kids out there who are like,

01:39:19.820 I'm going to do that too.

01:39:21.080 Yeah.

01:39:21.240 And they're doing it to real people.

01:39:22.440 And people are like, you're a little dick.

01:39:23.960 It's only a matter of time before like somebody in Senate's like,

01:39:26.860 yo, I just filled the Senate house with Orbeez.

01:39:29.280 10 years from now

01:39:31.040 So it was just like

01:39:33.220 It was just interesting

01:39:33.880 I didn't know if you

01:39:34.780 Like what your thoughts were

01:39:36.140 No for sure

01:39:36.640 We um

01:39:37.220 I mean like

01:39:38.640 I mean I get it

01:39:39.780 I'm not trying to put you

01:39:40.520 On the spot

01:39:40.940 But I just wanted to get

01:39:42.340 Yeah but you tainted

01:39:43.120 The generation

01:39:43.800 Yeah it's okay

01:39:44.560 I tainted it

01:39:45.000 Bro to me

01:39:46.380 To me that's

01:39:47.080 That one sounds like

01:39:48.560 Bad parenting

01:39:49.140 Like I'm just gonna be honest

01:39:50.460 Like if your kid is

01:39:51.820 Being a fucking

01:39:52.520 Punk in public

01:39:53.900 Yeah

01:39:54.400 Don't blame the kid

01:39:55.640 He watches on YouTube

01:39:56.360 And by the way

01:39:56.820 It's not just Jake and I

01:39:57.700 There's everyone

01:39:58.140 No no no

01:39:58.440 It's all that

01:39:59.100 but that was just an example of it no no but he was but that is it's like what are you supposed

01:40:02.500 to do like you know you're not with your kid 24 hours a day and so not now we're in a world now

01:40:07.120 where people have cell phones and then they go to school and kids have cell phones and it's like

01:40:10.820 my answer it's hard to like you know my answer just like have a conversation with your kids

01:40:14.820 about the reality of what they're watching like that's what he did yeah which is good

01:40:18.460 if we do a prank now i it's like a really fleshed out super elaborate hard to recreate

01:40:25.360 Next to impossible to recreate type prank

01:40:27.780 Like we put a

01:40:28.740 When Mike moved in the house

01:40:29.940 We put an alligator in his bed

01:40:32.420 A full alligator

01:40:33.840 I didn't know if it was real

01:40:36.640 My friend's kid's cousin was eaten by the alligator

01:40:38.800 That they put

01:40:39.380 Great job Logan

01:40:41.060 Those videos come in now

01:40:44.120 Of all the people that found alligators

01:40:46.260 Logan gets cancelled

01:40:47.500 I got a personal question

01:40:50.600 Selfishly

01:40:51.580 Do you live in

01:40:54.160 like when you're on stage you live in the zone now like like i guess sometimes i get in these

01:41:00.900 like fucking strides on this show and in my own content too where i'm like yo i'm in the fucking

01:41:05.760 zone right now and it's like as i do more of this shit it goes up from originally it was like five

01:41:11.300 percent now it's probably more like 40 are you in the zone a hundred percent of the time

01:41:15.520 interesting you say that because like also with doing a podcast myself and finding myself

01:41:20.240 find myself talking to people about these like deep subjects sometimes or just even just talking

01:41:24.620 about something anything intently for an hour and a half or whatever it is like you know so often

01:41:29.640 and then also then at night going on stage and having to like it does become like you know what

01:41:34.980 what part of my personality is just me chilling you know that's that's why it's like it's hard

01:41:39.660 to find that it's hard to like know the balance you know and to know the difference between because

01:41:43.220 that's my drug when something happens to me i go right on stage and i'm just talking about it and

01:41:47.520 i'm like getting it out that way and that becomes like a thing too you become addicted to like that

01:41:51.940 you know that that cathartic feeling of like you know release but that's not always healthy it's

01:41:58.300 not always like you know you know i can't be at that level at all times so i'm not always like

01:42:03.520 that yeah but it is something that you know we have to start we have to think about in this

01:42:07.800 type of business because there's so many you know mediums to like you know get your voice out yeah

01:42:12.620 and then and then the other question is uh do you what do you think are the like biggest

01:42:17.980 points of stand-up uh are the most important parts to your stand-up routine is relatability

01:42:25.760 on stage relatability the biggest way to get a laugh out of a crowd no uh being authentic is

01:42:32.760 okay no matter what that is because there's no right or wrong way to do it you know there's no

01:42:36.760 like you know some people are conversational you know there's people that you do you feel like you

01:42:40.900 know or there's other people that have like their wordsmith like seinfeld's a wordsmith he's gonna

01:42:45.580 say jokes a certain way and when you laugh you're laughing because you appreciate the joke that he

01:42:50.040 just put together other people you might laugh because that person is like acting out something

01:42:54.700 delivery yeah so it's all so but i think you want the people to be authentic i always say never

01:43:00.780 apologize for things that you say on stage because immediately people are going to be like oh yeah

01:43:05.160 you're not supposed to say that but if you own what you say in an authentic way people are going

01:43:09.920 to be like well i don't agree with that but oh that's him and it's him that's why i've tried to

01:43:13.960 do that out the bat because then i that's just like because i say a lot of fucked up shit and

01:43:18.000 i've tried to come out right off the rip and be like yo this is who i am i'm gonna say fucked up

01:43:22.180 shit i'm sorry i'm not sorry but if you don't like it uh i don't know go have lunch i mean i

01:43:26.620 don't mind offend i don't mind offending people right like it's like i'm fine with somebody saying

01:43:31.800 like i mean i bet you kind of feel this way it's like it's fine for for me to say to you

01:43:37.560 oh i see that you were offended by what i did as long as you can admit that wasn't my intention

01:43:43.620 and that's the part people don't want to do yeah you know what i mean like that's the part that

01:43:48.780 they just go they just like oh i can't believe you did that i can't believe you said that

01:43:51.900 you go this is the environment for that yeah i'm not running for office this wasn't at some

01:43:57.360 symposium or in front of like you know academia or whatever no i'm i'm just out here does that

01:44:02.700 happen yes people you would think that if you walk into see a comedy a comedian you would think that

01:44:10.580 people have hard shells or at least don't they don't people are still but it's just but it's

01:44:15.220 the same thing i would say you know on a youtube content like you know you're doing something on a

01:44:20.400 youtube video and then people are like oh my god i can't you're just like yo clearly this is for

01:44:27.520 entertainment value if you don't like it i get it i'm not your cup of tea unfortunately unfortunately

01:44:35.480 use the word intent unfortunately intent has become slightly irrelevant like people know

01:44:40.800 and i had this conversation with evan the other day like bro intent is everything

01:44:46.540 they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions so i mean there is something to be

01:44:51.320 like to being like thoughtful and responsible all i'm trying to say is like it's okay

01:44:56.400 that you don't like me it's okay that you didn't like what i said but don't make it out like i'm

01:45:03.960 the devil because you don't agree yeah yeah i think i by the way i think all this is hurting

01:45:08.820 comedy i really do i think it's all i think all this like culture i think all of it's hurting

01:45:13.740 comedy i think the shit that we like i think night like 90s and 2000s comedy will forever

01:45:19.540 be looked at maybe even eight 70s eight from chevy chase on through like the late 90s and

01:45:25.520 early 2000s when you could say whatever the fuck you wanted will be looked at as the golden age

01:45:30.000 of comedy i think comics are handcuffed nowadays it's hard it's hard to really just like you know

01:45:34.800 be yourself without worrying but that's the thing when you put something out and for public

01:45:37.900 consumption you know that's the problem it's like you know once it's out in public consumption they

01:45:41.860 have it on their own phone now they could be like that's do you think that's the biggest problem

01:45:45.840 yeah cell phones yeah all of that stuff man just having you know just it being so like watered

01:45:51.280 down and saturated that you know even like you know but the but that's the bad side of it but

01:45:56.420 the good side of it is like we all can find an audience i mean that's the great thing about it

01:46:00.400 what i love about youtube for instance is the fact that you're now one away from one every single

01:46:06.660 person and then you could touch whatever number of fans you have and they and you can have this

01:46:12.500 relationship with them and you can it could be lucrative for you if it's within youtube's

01:46:17.520 guidelines to do to speak to that audience so i just hope that that those guidelines don't start

01:46:22.200 getting stricter well they are they are actually they just loosen some on the copyright front but

01:46:26.900 but a little bit a little bit oh that's getting crazy and they loosen them a little bit but for

01:46:30.500 the most part you'll see that continued uh just to tighten tightening but at the but at the same

01:46:34.960 time i think what happens is if you build a big enough audience playing by the rules you can take

01:46:40.700 10 to 20 percent of them to a different platform and say i'm now gonna literally have adult film

01:46:45.580 stars fucking on my show and i'm going to do it and it's not against any guidelines i own the

01:46:49.440 audience i own the platform i don't need your permission to do so right well that's the thing

01:46:54.080 too is like you know i mean that's i mean that really is the goal is like like why do we need

01:46:58.440 these like third-party places to platforms to like tell us what we can and cannot do in an age

01:47:03.300 of like where you could have your own server and a website hell yeah you know i mean why not like

01:47:07.520 why not have you know impulsive.com and that's where you see the podcast you know will people

01:47:11.480 go to it but it was just like they've made it so convenient and they've done all the other work

01:47:15.500 and then they're just taking 50 i also think like people when you look at the the history of things

01:47:21.660 like there's always probably times in the early 2000s or whatever you know time period you're

01:47:27.140 talking about there's things that they couldn't say that they had to stay away from sure so i

01:47:31.380 think you know as time is progressing right now we're just seeing that you know the social climate

01:47:36.480 is changing yeah and they're adapting and we might be in a time where there's extra restriction

01:47:41.360 and youtube has to be safe to protect their brands and their assets but i don't mind that by the way

01:47:46.920 i don't mind like you know with me too and all everything that's going on all that just means is

01:47:52.100 that we just have to be more thoughtful about our what we're gonna what we're gonna make funny but

01:47:57.640 we're still gonna do the same types of things but we're gonna it's just separating the the the

01:48:02.740 people that are like not really serious the people that don't don't take their art form you know

01:48:08.180 serious it's like laziness yeah you know like like what lewis ck did like that's you know that

01:48:13.500 isn't a sign where we're like oh comedy's in a really bad space that was just stupid i agree i

01:48:18.240 agreed with that like 90 but also part of me understands especially being you know slightly

01:48:24.400 a comic myself and that's what i do and make people laugh is that a lot of the funniest shit

01:48:30.280 you say isn't planned out it comes off the hip it's not like well i do need to check with my pr

01:48:35.100 team to make sure that this is an appropriate joke do you know what i'm saying i'm not saying

01:48:38.960 that but what i'm saying is like you just you just become more aware yeah it's just it's just

01:48:43.200 your your your life changes you know it's just like when you're like you know five years ago

01:48:47.520 what you might have said to somebody in the dm is different now and it's because you just grow

01:48:52.100 you know you you know you're gonna be like all right i'm not gonna be uh like it's just 100

01:48:56.880 misogynistic anymore now you know what i mean but so you but like it's like can i still make fun of

01:49:01.580 women can i make fun of women and them not feel like oh you know that's the thoughtful part is i

01:49:08.360 still want to make fun of women so i need to do it but is there yes you can that's what i'm saying

01:49:12.660 that's the challenge like he's like he's saying like it's like what logan's talking about with

01:49:17.160 drinking it's like the challenge is to be able to say these things in an environment where they're

01:49:22.420 telling you you can't that separates the men from the boys like you remember when you could

01:49:27.720 remember when you could make jokes about women drivers yeah but can you make it like like can

01:49:32.900 you see a place right now where you could make a joke about a woman driver yes it just depends on

01:49:36.780 how it's worded and put together this is my whole point yeah it's all about context it's all about

01:49:40.600 like if the joke is about a specific person like ice t tweeted something that was so funny he was

01:49:46.720 like i don't call women bitches i call bitches bitches for sure for sure so it's like it's like

01:49:54.440 that kind of mentality of like we have to be more specific we have to be more like again i just like

01:50:00.280 to use the word thoughtful yeah well and i think too just on a cap on i think also the the the main

01:50:07.060 thing is like what level because there's because by the way even if you word it perfectly even if

01:50:12.120 you give the perfect context there is going to be a girl on twitter who is on her couch with her

01:50:16.680 cats right and she's going to be pissed but that's why you have to cover yourself right with a

01:50:21.640 blanket what sorry what happened i'm saying i don't say it's like contextually yes okay so even

01:50:27.500 if they have a problem you go you know you're okay right right and i think the biggest thing

01:50:31.420 is like if as long as it contains its contains itself to one to two cat ladies and it doesn't

01:50:37.540 blow up to the john legends wives and that kind of thing then you're it still like yeah this this

01:50:44.060 girl came to the comedy store one night um and i'll never forget it because she like i was working

01:50:48.740 some stuff out you know what i mean you're working it out you know she goes on twitter and she's like

01:50:52.680 oh i would rather take the date rape drug than listen to your stand up whoa now i had a tweet

01:51:01.260 ready to go that was then you're perfectly ready to go fuck yourself oh my god that's fucking

01:51:08.120 wow that's epic but i didn't send it because i was like i took the i took i was trying to be

01:51:14.720 not like hey obviously we you know but then it didn't matter because she wanted to be upset so

01:51:19.500 what i'm saying is like you're still going to get that there's people that want to be mad at you

01:51:22.920 they want to be like they want to see what you say and do and they like they want to look back

01:51:25.720 on your tweets and be like i can't believe you said this you know i guess i guess my biggest

01:51:30.640 thing is that is just like trying to deal with the fact that risk versus reward has found a way

01:51:36.660 into the comedy routine i know what i'm saying it's still entertainment though at the same time

01:51:40.640 people like you know it's like somebody that goes up and just completely talks about politics all

01:51:43.840 the time that's not sometimes that's not entertaining it's never fucking entertaining

01:51:47.740 and at the same time it's not entertaining for like you know half the crowd to be women 50 percent

01:51:51.680 women and then they're like you know they're hearing about you know your balls and you're

01:51:54.720 like whatever so that might not be entertaining to them either you know it's like it's a difficult

01:51:58.140 balance you know it's a weird like you know and that's what makes like i said that's what

01:52:01.820 separates the greats from people that are just like i want to be a comic yeah i'm funny i wrote

01:52:06.760 some jokes yeah you know that it takes this this is a business you know it's a you know it's a

01:52:11.760 skill that you have to cultivate you can't just be like hey i'm funny and when i'm with my friends

01:52:16.480 i'm funny so why can't this be uh you know why am i not making a lot of money doing this you know

01:52:21.820 no so maybe you're an asshole i'm going to mars with him hey saying by the way you're gonna need

01:52:28.720 you're gonna need some i ain't dying on this fucking rock fuck that yeah hey guys uh that's

01:52:33.080 it that's all we got i got a 330 i gotta run eric thank you again bro thank you my friend i really

01:52:37.400 enjoyed this thank you thank you thanks for listening to impulsive greatest five stars or

01:52:41.100 I'm going to do something bad.

01:52:42.180 Bye.

01:52:55.780 I'm Hamza.

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01:53:10.340 Why should people listen to us?

01:53:12.040 Tell them.

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01:53:31.740 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

01:53:32.900 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

01:53:36.580 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions.

01:53:42.900 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:53:45.740 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:53:50.820 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:53:57.320 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald.

01:54:01.780 And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

01:54:05.320 The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:54:11.380 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:54:14.540 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:54:16.780 Does the Pope dress up?

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01:54:20.360 He gets right up next to the microphone.

01:54:22.080 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:54:25.200 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:54:30.000 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:54:38.020 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast, the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:54:48.060 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:54:49.960 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:54:51.140 What?

01:54:51.600 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:54:53.140 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:54:55.140 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:54:56.920 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:55:00.400 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

01:55:03.380 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - August 21, 2019

E113 ERIK GRIFFIN THE COMEDIAN - IMPAULSIVE EP. 113

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