Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E119 ANDREW SCHULZ WANTS ALL ANIMALS DEAD - IMPAULSIVE EP. 119

00:00:00.340 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:03.000 We have a new podcast.

00:00:04.320 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

00:00:05.760 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

00:00:06.860 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

00:00:11.040 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

00:00:13.200 which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:15.440 occasionally different opinions.

00:00:16.760 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

00:00:19.600 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

00:00:22.560 Good Taste is my business.

00:00:24.740 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:00:27.620 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:30.000 i'm hamza and i'm martin and we're the hosts of out of character the best podcast in the world

00:00:35.840 it's really funny and a good time really yeah yeah i think statistics just came back and we're

00:00:40.900 one of the funniest two guys with mics and that's pretty hard to beat right now but it's true

00:00:45.500 actually why should people listen to us tell them well we're trendy we're funny we're topical you 0.99

00:00:50.380 get all your news here not you know the facts but maybe our takes on it um and everything in

00:00:55.220 between. So listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

00:01:00.020 get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of

00:01:05.700 Scam Goddess Podcast, the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who

00:01:11.100 practice it. Each week I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I could talk to you for

00:01:16.240 an hour. You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now

00:01:21.180 you can catch full episodes of my show on

00:01:23.340 YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess

00:01:25.460 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple

00:01:27.300 Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:29.960 Scam Goddess!

00:01:31.860 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman,

00:01:33.500 Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane,

00:01:35.140 Patrick McDonald, and we're the hosts of the

00:01:37.260 Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists

00:01:39.120 podcast, the Improvised Character Comedy

00:01:41.220 podcast, where each week a new panel

00:01:43.340 of artists discuss their craft.

00:01:45.440 Join us for a panel of Eurovision

00:01:47.800 participants. And we do a little

00:01:49.600 Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope

00:01:51.580 dress up? He winks

00:01:53.480 on Halloween. He gets right up next to

00:01:55.540 the microphone. I hear you can

00:01:57.460 almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

00:01:59.460 You've never seen Italy so

00:02:01.320 quiet as when the Pope gets up to

00:02:03.520 wink on Halloween. Listen to

00:02:05.300 Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every

00:02:07.380 Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

00:02:09.300 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

00:02:11.280 podcasts. Dude, I'm telling you, it is

00:02:13.480 fucking bullshit. This is 1.00

00:02:15.500 the thing. Peter's putting straws in turtle's

00:02:17.420 nose? 100%. All marketing. Shout out to

00:02:19.360 Robby Slobick, man.

00:02:20.420 He thought of this idea. 1.00

00:02:21.340 I'm telling you, it's all bullshit. 1.00

00:02:23.340 How many animals do we need? 1.00

00:02:24.500 Let's just, let's talk about that.

00:02:26.040 How many total animals do we need?

00:02:28.180 We need all of them?

00:02:28.960 Spencer, I'm just going to wait.

00:02:30.260 I'm not saying anything.

00:02:31.380 We need all the animals. 1.00

00:02:33.380 Protect the fucking animals, Spencer. 1.00

00:02:35.220 Why? 1.00

00:02:35.800 Why do we need them all?

00:02:43.580 Mike's in the zone right now.

00:02:44.860 I'm done, I'm done.

00:02:45.640 What are you doing?

00:02:47.040 Logan had posted a great...

00:02:48.600 Speaking of the zone, what about the zone and what's going on with this fight?

00:02:53.780 Hold on.

00:02:54.100 Do you like that?

00:02:54.740 That was pretty good.

00:02:56.360 That was pretty good.

00:02:57.740 Hold on a second.

00:02:58.880 That was good, dude.

00:03:01.060 You're rushing right into the fight.

00:03:02.720 I'm sorry.

00:03:03.340 I'm excited.

00:03:04.180 We've got a lot of stuff to talk about today.

00:03:06.200 Welcome back to Impulsive, the number one podcast in the world.

00:03:08.960 That's a fact, and we know that.

00:03:10.200 Thank you guys for listening, watching, viewing, subscribing.

00:03:12.360 If you're not subscribed, hit that button for me.

00:03:14.600 Yeah, the fight.

00:03:16.640 The KSI fight.

00:03:17.480 it is a thing it is officially confirmed we can finally talk about it we've been uh biting our

00:03:21.800 tongues for the past like two weeks now november 9th at the staples center in los angeles i will 0.98

00:03:27.780 be putting on a show and beating the shit out of my arch nemesis damn jay jay colantonji yeah 0.98

00:03:35.620 dude did you ever did you ever imagine growing up in ohio you'd be selling out the staples center 0.99

00:03:40.680 no man no that's actually this is nuts it's it's where it's where my life gets weird because the

00:03:46.100 like boxing boxing i never thought i'd be a professional boxer by the way no head guards

00:03:52.360 this fight yeah no head guards 10 ounce gloves last fight was 12 ounce gloves and literally

00:03:57.480 registered as a professional fighter so i think the only reason ksi didn't go down last fight

00:04:03.420 is because of the headgear yeah he got lucky because he says vice he said vice versa in his

00:04:08.120 video today which wait are we can we talk about that a little bit too yeah we should you put out

00:04:12.440 you please so logan put out a classic lp smackdown video which by the way excellent i thank you you 0.86

00:04:19.400 said it because i was going to get off logan's dick i mean it's a it's a classic troll like if 0.93

00:04:26.020 y'all haven't noticed we've been on a troll wave lately yeah because it's fun it's just it's fun 1.00

00:04:30.140 to fuck around and then and then it had a token bum in it it was fantastic but so we so we put 0.78

00:04:35.940 this out and i i remember when we were making it the whole time i was thinking gee i really hope 0.99

00:04:40.560 he doesn't come out and go the professional route and just like not talk shit yeah i'm like i hope 0.75

00:04:45.780 he doesn't i hope he doesn't come out and have like some sit down video in a boxing room where 0.99

00:04:49.700 he's talking about strategy and shit had an overhead light this pat probably shot it at 0.95

00:04:54.460 about uh 8 p.m it was dark outside in in the corner of a ring like all that super super classy 0.99

00:05:01.180 i'm not subscribed to him went the opposite way we did uh and it kind of just fucking made 0.88

00:05:06.600 everything boring bro like he's like i'm gonna pound his head in and he's gonna feel my fist 0.98

00:05:11.440 break every bone in his face and i'm like what the fuck are you saying bro yeah he's taking it 1.00

00:05:16.500 he's he's he's acting so serious but i see through it the kid's an actor a shitty one but he is an 0.99

00:05:22.240 actor and i admire his confidence like i'm proud of you jj i really am i am not i am not letting

00:05:27.280 him walk into this with because yo straight up bro like there are a lot of people around that 0.98

00:05:33.440 They're just like, what the fuck is this kid? 0.98

00:05:35.200 Why is he even going to step in the ring with LP? 1.00

00:05:37.140 I don't care how fucking small or dumb or fat the opponent is. 1.00

00:05:41.680 I'm not letting this kid walk in with a head like that, bro. 1.00

00:05:44.280 No, I'm not saying you do,

00:05:45.600 but there are other people in the camp that would like you to believe

00:05:47.700 that this is going to be like a walk-in knockout.

00:05:49.540 No, no, no.

00:05:50.320 I just want you to walk in like, y'all.

00:05:52.520 No, no, no.

00:05:53.280 I think it's going to be a sick fight. 0.86

00:05:54.560 It's going to be disgusting.

00:05:55.360 It's going to be the biggest sporting event of the year.

00:05:57.020 And by no means am I sitting here way overconfident.

00:05:59.860 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:00.780 I mean, you've already had a fight with him.

00:06:02.240 Exactly.

00:06:02.560 know and and the kid the kid can fight and he can he can take hits and most of all he's got heart

00:06:07.540 and i've said that i've acknowledged it um i just think when it comes to like talking about the game

00:06:12.800 plan and about the attitude and everything i i'd rather make a troll video because at the end of 0.69

00:06:17.640 the day bro i'm gonna do the best i possibly fucking can and work the hardest that i can 0.73

00:06:22.640 which historically in my life has led to very very good things and a lot of positive outcome 0.82

00:06:28.060 um are you gonna show more of the training do you think this time around since i know last time that

00:06:33.320 was kind of something you wanted to hide are there still things that you still do you got up your

00:06:36.700 sleeve yeah i mean i mean so last time it was like i didn't i didn't know what i was doing i was i was

00:06:43.220 a youtuber trying to become a boxer which is very hard to do in three months yeah we managed to pull

00:06:47.860 it off the i remember the last week right before the fight i found the jab finally i was like oh

00:06:54.060 my god this is like a this is what the jab is supposed to do finally it was like one punch that

00:06:57.800 could use and now i've become a fully uh fully fledged completed vetted boxer and quite literally

00:07:06.020 i'm now a professional boxer i've been training for the past year you know this guys i yeah i

00:07:11.680 could have taken the year off i could have went on a soundcloud rapper music tour it's just crazy 0.86

00:07:15.740 to be back in this uh shit talk for the for the camp to be back in the like swing of it because 0.90

00:07:23.060 i just remember like when we're making content when we're doing podcasts we have big guests which 0.97

00:07:28.200 by the way we've got some huge guests this week yeah massive yeah and like i said last week i'm

00:07:35.140 like yo we have a controversial guest we put out yesterday's episode which if you haven't seen it

00:07:39.560 was quite controversial i know we were talking about it a lot but that wasn't the controversial

00:07:42.960 guest that wasn't him we've got a like one of the most controversial guests ever almost as big as

00:07:49.520 can we can we nah i don't want to i don't want to i don't know if anybody else wants nah just

00:07:53.180 just stay tuned stay tuned for friday's episode but what i was gonna say was like all this stuff's 0.62

00:07:57.080 fun and there's always like anticipation we're amped up for shit but this fight dude like when

00:08:01.800 i saw those promo videos come out today and i thought back to what it was like on press conference 0.98

00:08:06.040 one press conference two all the documentary shit leading into it and most of all fight night 0.78

00:08:11.500 man i haven't even not even being in the fight but just being in the camp around him i haven't

00:08:15.920 felt that type of energy yeah it's it's it's fun that's that's coming up quick so quick yeah yeah

00:08:23.160 that's wild press conference is when september 14th here here in la next week yeah like a week

00:08:28.960 and a half and there's another one in uh in london i believe so we're gonna have to fly there

00:08:33.260 we gotta go back there is he gonna put it in his like warehouse again that he gets for five bucks

00:08:38.160 an hour where they where only they know the entrance and exit routes and we don't get any

00:08:42.700 that information to share with our security team where in LA is it I got I got an idea I think it's

00:08:47.740 at that it's next to the Staples Center I think let's do it in the middle of Compton at Watts

00:08:53.280 Empowerment Center oh on our turf that's actually probably way safer way safer than where it was

00:08:59.080 but uh but yeah it's it's it's big it's gonna be fun it's uh it's gonna be on DAZN an app called

00:09:05.160 DAZN it's like the Netflix for combat sports Eddie Hearn's promoting it he's the biggest

00:09:08.880 boxing promoter in the world. I also believe

00:09:10.920 he's coming on this podcast

00:09:12.860 to talk about it, which is going to be

00:09:14.920 cool. It's insane, man. You're securing

00:09:16.920 bags. Well, bro, I mean,

00:09:19.260 fuck, dog. Everyone thought 1.00

00:09:20.880 I was going broke, but I guess

00:09:22.920 not. I don't think anyone

00:09:25.080 thought you were

00:09:26.880 except for you joking about it. No, bro, I got

00:09:28.880 hit up and people were like, why would you say you're going

00:09:31.000 broke? I was like, I don't know. I like to fuck around.

00:09:32.820 Was it KSI that hit you up? Or was it 1.00

00:09:34.860 Batman?

00:09:36.320 Christian Bale?

00:09:37.240 I heard you were going broke.

00:09:39.380 No, no, Jake did.

00:09:41.460 Our fugitive friend, Connor Blakely, hit me up.

00:09:43.320 He's like, I can't believe you said this.

00:09:47.600 Why did you say you're going broke?

00:09:48.180 He watches every episode.

00:09:49.740 He's going to see that, bro.

00:09:51.100 He goes, it's a bad look.

00:09:52.820 I'm like, bad look, bro.

00:09:54.220 How can I get any, like, worse?

00:09:55.920 Like, I literally can only improve from here.

00:09:58.220 Shout out Connor Blakely.

00:09:59.100 Keep your head open.

00:09:59.760 And also, get out of prison, bro, and stop running from the law. 1.00

00:10:03.280 Shut up. 0.99

00:10:04.240 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:10:05.460 I'm curious.

00:10:06.240 We'll talk about it.

00:10:07.260 Look, look, look.

00:10:08.220 I was on Twitter today, bro.

00:10:09.780 Logan Paul trending in the United States.

00:10:11.440 Not from a controversy.

00:10:13.360 This felt great.

00:10:15.120 Yeah, it felt great.

00:10:16.980 That's big news.

00:10:18.160 Yeah, man.

00:10:18.860 This fight is super exciting.

00:10:21.380 I'm excited to see all this come to fruition.

00:10:24.240 Speaking of coming to fruition, what about boners?

00:10:27.640 Oh.

00:10:28.220 Just because.

00:10:29.240 That was a very vascular transition.

00:10:34.580 A vascular transition.

00:10:35.560 We're trying to keep the transition short and not very long.

00:10:38.100 Yeah, and veiny.

00:10:39.160 Right, correct.

00:10:40.700 Man, do we want to...

00:10:41.760 No, no, no, no, not that.

00:10:43.300 Not that one.

00:10:44.080 I was just talking, do we need a lead-in for the thing?

00:10:47.020 For what thing?

00:10:48.620 Is it the wrong sponsor? 1.00

00:10:51.760 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:10:52.540 Oh, you're trying to give me a transition for the sponsor? 1.00

00:10:53.980 Oh, I appreciate the attempt at alley-oop.

00:10:57.460 We've seen this in the NBA.

00:10:59.720 They throw the ball up and no one goes and gets it.

00:11:01.680 Not in my house.

00:11:02.760 No, no, no.

00:11:03.560 Hey, no problem.

00:11:05.000 So, yeah, the fight's going to be sick.

00:11:06.600 And then after that horrible vascular transition,

00:11:10.380 you went to a chain smokers party,

00:11:13.360 which sort of has to do with boners yesterday.

00:11:14.700 Yes, I went to the chain smokers party yesterday.

00:11:17.180 It was at probably like around $100 million house

00:11:20.320 up in Bel Air in the height of Beverly Hills.

00:11:24.800 Found out about it just a couple days ago,

00:11:26.540 and this was like one of those super protected parties,

00:11:29.120 like high, high, high A-list.

00:11:30.980 How I got in, I have no idea.

00:11:33.180 well the night shift's taken off well easy you are the co-host of the number one podcast in the

00:11:37.960 world bro you got clout an a minus is an a that's true but i did i had a let's say it was c okay

00:11:43.300 i had a friend who actually threw the event and so he got me into whatever and uh i went there

00:11:48.440 and boy he was gonna come but he's not been feeling well and so he rested and said and i

00:11:53.580 went there and it was it was packed with stars i was i was just feet away from jared leto he was

00:11:58.880 just rocking a big sombrero and by the way this guy is just not on the same planet as us he is

00:12:05.580 just and by the way great actor one of my favorites just a great guy but he was in outer

00:12:09.940 fucking space dude really i feel like a lot of actors are yeah like that's why they're such 0.94

00:12:14.340 great actors a lot of actors i've met i've said this before just fucking weird dude like imagine 0.99

00:12:19.240 being able to hop into another person's body and truly be them yeah you're no longer pretending 0.96

00:12:25.780 if you're like a true actor you you're not pretending you're being and so that doesn't

00:12:30.180 surprise me yeah yeah great any great artist is like that in a sense like they're just different

00:12:34.700 after specifically but yeah but it brought out but it brought out like all the you know all the

00:12:38.940 djs were obviously diplo was there just being diplo you know good old west hanging around all

00:12:44.260 those girls and uh and then i saw one thing i saw there also was the tana mongeo oh my brother's uh

00:12:53.100 my brother's wife was there jake must have been no he he wasn't and i saw her and by the way 0.98

00:12:58.160 looking like a complete and utter fucking snack okay but dressed in all black a utter departure 1.00

00:13:06.160 from the the last time i saw her walking down the island all white and i looked at her and 0.99

00:13:10.900 all i could see on her was the face of someone who was saying where is my dear husband

00:13:16.460 yeah sorrow just sorrow and just downtrodden sullen and i went up to her and i said miss

00:13:23.180 manjow and or mrs paul you know how are you and she said oh i life is good but there was just a

00:13:28.240 twinkle of sadness in her eye oh man you didn't see it but she was there and by the way she looked

00:13:33.660 great shout out tana manjow or tana paul wait but i thought you said she couldn't get in the party 0.95

00:13:37.740 because i was gonna leave that fucking part out okay out of respect she had a little bit of she 1.00

00:13:42.340 had a little bit of trouble getting in because she by the way showed up fastly late because she 1.00

00:13:45.800 is both fashionable and late and late yeah and so she showed up quite late to the party and and i

00:13:51.420 said to my guy at the gate brandon you have tana monshaw outside the gate and he said mike i'll be 0.95

00:13:56.100 honest with you i don't give a fuck who's well you said her name wrong oh is that the last name 0.96

00:13:59.460 no no he said he said even if it was madonna even madonna like he's like yo she's gotta stay the 0.99

00:14:05.620 party's over so but shout out tana so did you uh have any extracurricular activities after this

00:14:11.880 party of excitement i mean there's a lot i don't know what we're trying to unload exactly but

00:14:17.440 you well you you explain to me how there's a hey our guest is here how you doing how you doing we're

00:14:22.380 gonna bring him on in a second but you explain to me how there's a difference between uh you're

00:14:25.900 having recently between long-term girlfriends oh yeah so i've been trying to so i've been hanging

00:14:30.620 out with emily willis lately she's become just a i've had this infatuation with another i would

00:14:37.400 consider a list porn star and so i've been i've been working through this dilemma in two things

00:14:43.560 that i i want in life one is a long-term girlfriend and the other is to continue having intercourse

00:14:49.000 with adult film stars right so i i had an interview with adam 22 that's going to be coming out on the

00:14:54.780 night shift this week and he made the idea that potentially i wife up a porn star are you out of 0.98

00:15:03.000 your fucking mind now hear me out i know it seems a little fucking weird dude okay because 0.99

00:15:08.040 because yeah it's yeah it's just a little strange so so yeah she's she's the queen of black draw 1.00

00:15:13.640 she is she's become very big on black bro how many stepbrothers can one girl have and the king 0.95

00:15:18.660 the queen of stepbrothers and so yeah like would it be a little weird watching my my wife get 0.99

00:15:23.140 gang banged potentially but but it's the only thing i could think of and mom i know you're 0.97

00:15:29.160 watching this i apologize but at least i'm thinking about settling down yeah yeah no you're

00:15:36.260 looking in all the wrong places mark yeah you didn't say that to emily willis last night

00:15:41.500 what did i say i asked her i asked her last night i said i said hey would you can if if mike wanted 0.78

00:15:46.580 to wife you up would you leave the porn game and she said hell no hell no she loves it because 0.87

00:15:51.120 she's 19 she's got ed adam said on the show 19 how crazy sorry 20 20 how crazy is that adam said 0.98

00:15:57.480 on the show yesterday she her head is still filled with the um optimistic porn mentality what she

00:16:04.600 basically i think he's saying that she is in that really fruitful time where where porn is

00:16:11.220 everything and like she just she doesn't really care about anything else outside what age does

00:16:15.640 her skin become like a lizard's i still can't understand this you bring this up when we talk 0.78

00:16:20.340 about riley too it's sorry to all my porn star and stripper audience members oh they get like 0.72

00:16:25.600 hard porn stars and strippers dude something happens i think around i think around like 25 0.97

00:16:31.680 where their skin becomes evidently amphibic yeah man they just turn into reptiles yeah 0.98

00:16:39.600 wow have any science behind why that happens i think bro i mean if you have a lot of sex if you 0.86

00:16:45.000 have that much sex you turn into a lizard dude think about it doesn't need to be science it's 0.83

00:16:49.480 just it is a fact what if you spend so much time like going to air one and getting ice cream and 0.99

00:16:56.520 shit like that and then like later on you have to be a chameleon and change into a porn star so they

00:17:03.500 get so used to swapping skin right that they quite literally lizardize have you been to hawaii 0.99

00:17:09.900 yeah you see all the lizards you see all the lizards running around it's all used to be people 0.84

00:17:14.460 oh shit yeah look it up it's messed up dude we got a sponsor today guys it's a new season 0.91

00:17:21.740 Antonio Brown is on the Raiders Le'Veon Bell is with the Jets Odell Beckham is in Cleveland I'm 0.98

00:17:25.820 trying to go to the first game by the way the one thing that hasn't changed is where I'm putting my

00:17:30.120 money down on all the games my bookie is the place to bet on football every weekend they have better

00:17:35.540 bonuses and more prop bets than any other sports book period this year they're hosting the first

00:17:39.680 online handicapping super contest first place is guaranteed guaranteed to win at least a hundred

00:17:44.560 thousand dollars and it only costs a hundred dollars to enter all you got to do is pick the

00:17:48.540 nfl games against the spread every week to climb the leaderboard and score your share of the huge 0.74

00:17:53.100 cash prize pool wow yeah you did a sponsor fucking a dude i mean because you want to know what i was 0.92

00:17:58.360 just about to do i was gonna take over halfway through the read because i know all the talking 0.91

00:18:02.060 points yeah pick your top five teams every week climb the leaderboard against the spread uh use

00:18:06.720 promo code logan logan at my bookie.ag which you can buy.ag yeah i don't know where they got that

00:18:14.700 i don't know they gave me something else oh what would you get you got that this is my bookie

00:18:17.860 online today that's my bookie and don't forget to use the promo code logan when creating your

00:18:21.340 account to claim the bonus bet win get paid nice you can find it google it shout out dave portnoy

00:18:26.360 damn you're just pulling all the punches all right guys let's bring on our guys you've seen

00:18:32.120 him on MTV's Guy Code, his latest comedy 0.99

00:18:34.240 special, the CrowdWorks special, is on 0.90

00:18:36.040 YouTube now, where you can catch him giving zero fucks

00:18:38.240 about political correctness. It's Andrew 0.88

00:18:40.400 Schultz. Let's fucking go. 1.00

00:18:45.120 Hi, guys. 0.97

00:18:45.960 Hey, good to see you, man. How you doing? There he is.

00:18:47.960 Hey, so Andrew, where you from, man? You from New York? I'm from

00:18:50.140 New York. Yeah, born and raised. Let's fucking go.

00:18:52.100 Okay, cool. Mike's kind of from New York. 0.99

00:18:54.080 He's from Connecticut. From Stanford?

00:18:56.240 Okay. I know. It's weird.

00:18:58.100 I don't know much. I don't know much about Connecticut.

00:19:00.080 But you know I'm not fucking from one of the five boroughs.

00:19:01.820 Sorry, because a lot of times what happens is people come on the show and I don't know where they're from. 0.82

00:19:05.440 And I'm like, oh, yeah, what's good?

00:19:06.820 I'm from New York. 0.99

00:19:07.360 And they're like, oh, yeah, well, where the fuck from? 1.00

00:19:09.600 And I'm like, oh, shit, fuck. 1.00

00:19:10.640 You present like you're from New York. 1.00

00:19:12.440 I know.

00:19:13.000 Yeah, you have like a Brooklyn vibe to you.

00:19:15.260 I met you in New York.

00:19:16.660 Where'd we meet? 1.00

00:19:17.520 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:19:17.960 I think it was a place called Bauhaus. 1.00

00:19:20.580 On 14th?

00:19:21.300 Yep.

00:19:21.800 Yeah, at 3 Wong's joint.

00:19:24.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:19:24.820 3.30 in the fucking morning. 0.99

00:19:25.900 And I said, I know that, dude. 0.99

00:19:27.040 And it was the classic, like, you came in. 1.00

00:19:30.060 I think you were probably boozing and I was fucked. 1.00

00:19:32.960 And so it was a classic like caveman meeting. 0.99

00:19:34.780 I'm like,

00:19:35.220 Hey man,

00:19:35.780 huge fan.

00:19:36.720 And you're like,

00:19:37.200 Oh man,

00:19:37.740 cool dude.

00:19:38.240 And I'm like,

00:19:38.600 y'all can I get a pic? 1.00

00:19:39.300 And we took a shitty ass. 0.99

00:19:40.480 I couldn't find it. 1.00

00:19:42.600 Oh man.

00:19:43.380 And that was it.

00:19:44.640 I never thought we'd reunite on the impulsive.

00:19:47.180 I love what you guys are doing,

00:19:48.700 man.

00:19:48.800 I've been watching.

00:19:49.700 Thanks man.

00:19:50.460 Yeah.

00:19:50.660 We get,

00:19:51.060 we get wild here.

00:19:52.340 Uh,

00:19:52.580 this is good. 0.97

00:19:52.980 This porn star conversation cracked me up. 0.81

00:19:54.960 I was sitting there.

00:19:55.500 Let's get back to it. 1.00

00:19:56.680 Amphibious skin.

00:19:57.540 I mean, 0.99

00:19:58.120 we don't have to rehash,

00:19:59.040 But it did conjure up some feelings 0.90

00:20:02.720 Because we had this porn star on a podcast

00:20:06.140 On my podcast

00:20:06.920 And she said something very interesting

00:20:08.920 She said 80% of porn income 1.00

00:20:11.240 Is from getting paid to fuck guys 1.00

00:20:14.640 As opposed to doing the videos 0.99

00:20:17.400 Oh, I mean like being a prophet too

00:20:19.200 Oh, like escort

00:20:19.420 Yeah

00:20:20.120 So she said that the videos are billboards

00:20:23.580 That's advertising 1.00

00:20:25.040 You don't make any real money doing that shit 1.00

00:20:28.000 80% is just going to Dubai 1.00

00:20:30.280 Getting shit on 0.99

00:20:31.760 How true is that? 0.99

00:20:33.300 I believe it because a couple things

00:20:35.540 One, Riley noted at that a little bit

00:20:37.500 And by the way, can you say

00:20:38.660 Is your girl really a 0.97

00:20:39.840 It's not my girl

00:20:41.080 You're a little defensive there

00:20:45.840 He's catching feels 1.00

00:20:47.120 She's cute

00:20:48.380 Is it like

00:20:50.740 Okay, what's up with that?

00:20:52.320 What's it like meeting her dad

00:20:54.960 From her 0.99

00:20:55.680 I don't fucking know 0.96

00:20:59.440 Mom I'm so sorry 0.95

00:21:03.620 You guys meet them together

00:21:05.060 Oh god

00:21:06.960 I'm just kidding 1.00

00:21:09.420 Would you ever date a porn star 0.99

00:21:11.100 Yeah why not 0.98

00:21:12.540 I don't know

00:21:13.380 You saw me try to be

00:21:16.820 I tried to be

00:21:18.520 I tried to front like it was okay

00:21:20.420 No

00:21:20.980 I'm judgmental though

00:21:23.100 You can't. 0.99

00:21:23.520 I won't date a girl for a second toes longer than her first. 0.65

00:21:26.060 I'm like that, too. 0.87

00:21:27.780 I can't do it.

00:21:29.020 Evan's feet are like that.

00:21:29.940 I stay with my dad's.

00:21:30.840 I shun him for that reason.

00:21:32.160 Yeah, I think even one of my feet is like that. 0.99

00:21:34.300 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:21:35.120 So you're a hypocrite, too? 1.00

00:21:37.020 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:37.440 Like, I don't want you to have things I do.

00:21:40.520 Okay.

00:21:41.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:21:41.460 I'm totally fine with, like, that double standards and shit. 0.96

00:21:43.920 What are some other, like, double standards or maybe human bodily dysfunctional type things that you have? 0.99

00:21:51.440 That I have? 1.00

00:21:52.100 I've got a super hairy ass. 1.00

00:21:53.580 I don't like women to be hairy. 1.00

00:21:55.580 I've curved chicks over moles a lot of times. 1.00

00:21:58.600 Where's the mole?

00:21:59.300 I hate to say it.

00:22:00.520 So here's the deal. 1.00

00:22:02.460 Face moles, I've got like a basic size that you can't really go over.

00:22:07.140 Thickness or like circumference?

00:22:09.520 Girth, yeah, circumference.

00:22:10.840 Now we're talking.

00:22:11.500 I like these kind of complexes.

00:22:12.500 And so once you start to approach like a 14 millimeter on the girth size.

00:22:16.700 Oh, you go metric?

00:22:17.640 Yeah, dude, because I mean, I drive a huge.

00:22:19.920 That's big.

00:22:20.540 That's big.

00:22:20.620 That's big.

00:22:20.720 That's big.

00:22:21.620 that's big we're talking to camera lens what i meant to say was 1.4 millimeter okay i apologize

00:22:27.440 the porn stars have affected my ability to measure properly okay because i always overestimate my

00:22:35.540 measurement because i'm trying to compete yeah but dude yeah dude like once you hit that 1.4

00:22:39.880 millimeter right and then if you get below the neck yeah i'll go a little bit bigger but i know 1.00

00:22:44.960 there's this one i don't want to talk about the one girl there's this one girl no because she's

00:22:48.760 gonna watch this show and every girl with i think moles are cute yeah right here hey you got a little

00:22:54.140 one on your nose right now i have one on my nose but it's under the realm it's not this uh i had 0.64

00:22:59.640 a blood vessel that was popped oh yeah you ever have one of these and the doctor has to like laser

00:23:03.480 it off yeah yeah now i'm now i'm kind of suffering and then this the face rashes i didn't wear a

00:23:07.800 band-aid on my face today i normally do you're looking good man thanks bro the beard's really

00:23:11.460 help it out bro nah yeah i feel you yo did you see hey did you see dave chapelle's new yes i did

00:23:17.360 Can we talk about this?

00:23:17.960 Of course, please.

00:23:18.920 All right.

00:23:19.600 So, thoughts.

00:23:20.780 Yeah, thoughts.

00:23:22.160 Wait, can you context a little bit for the people who haven't seen it?

00:23:24.580 Sure, sure, sure.

00:23:24.840 Okay.

00:23:25.220 If you haven't seen Dave Chappelle's new comedy special,

00:23:27.240 I mean, he's been known to be controversial and say things that shock people

00:23:32.800 to get reactions, but this last one.

00:23:35.300 Sticks and Stones, baby.

00:23:36.480 Woo!

00:23:37.300 Yeah, that's what it's called, Sticks and Stones.

00:23:38.900 Love it.

00:23:39.500 Heavy F-bombs.

00:23:40.600 Heavy F-bombs.

00:23:41.720 But moreover, shots, shots at everybody.

00:23:45.200 He talks about school shooters in a joking light, which, I mean, insane. 0.72

00:23:52.080 He's got a lot of gender.

00:23:53.840 A lot of he considers LGBTQ the alphabet of people. 0.83

00:23:59.500 Yeah, a lot of transvestite jokes. 0.58

00:24:00.780 There was, yeah. 1.00

00:24:02.160 White heroin addicts, gun ownership. 0.99

00:24:05.400 I mean, he hates basically everything. 0.97

00:24:07.100 There's been a lot of feedback, a lot of blowback on him doing stuff

00:24:11.240 sheerly because he was pushing buttons and throwing those sticks and stones but it's not

00:24:16.360 it's not real people like the people that are upset about this they're not real people like

00:24:21.040 we got to stop giving them so much attention i mean like he had a very poignant brilliant 0.97

00:24:26.320 hilarious comedy special and we all laughed and enjoyed it and there's like five fat chicks with

00:24:31.600 short hair on the internet that are upset about it and they write a blog and then we act like

00:24:35.820 that's everybody that's on the internet but it's not everybody that's on the internet so it's like

00:24:40.080 The one thing that annoyed me about the special is that he started it by doing that, like, juxtaposition, like, I'm going to do an impression.

00:24:47.180 No, I love the Bourdain.

00:24:48.620 But the impression, which was, okay, who am I?

00:24:52.100 You know, you're canceled.

00:24:53.280 You're this.

00:24:53.680 You're that.

00:24:54.140 And then they start saying, Trump, whatever.

00:24:55.720 No, I'm you.

00:24:56.460 It's the worst doing comedy, blah, blah, blah.

00:24:58.100 And it's just like, no, Dave, like, you perform for arenas every weekend, and people love your comedy.

00:25:02.840 I mean, like, I tour around the world.

00:25:04.120 I'm doing these theaters, and nobody is like that. 0.93

00:25:06.460 this is the small little tiny part of the internet that we give so much fucking weight to because 0.95

00:25:11.600 these companies are so afraid so it's like you can't you can't fucking give any credence to that 0.89

00:25:16.400 at all was there a time where you gave those people weight because you're you're not you're 0.62

00:25:20.140 not by any means politically correct at all though i'm saying the first joke that you made

00:25:24.540 that offended people i'm sure you got backlash did you yeah did you heed to them at all no why

00:25:30.260 not because i had nothing to lose like when i started doing stuff on you know youtube and 0.75

00:25:36.280 like social media it was because no comedy network wanted to fuck with me so i already just i just 0.95

00:25:43.180 came to this conclusion like there's nothing for me to lose i either put my shit out because i know 0.97

00:25:47.260 it's funny and or i just quit comedy like i guess those were the options so i was like these are the 0.96

00:25:53.120 jokes i want to talk about if i want to talk about trannies i'll talk about trannies if i want to 0.99

00:25:56.200 talk about trump grabbing pussy and why he should be able to do that then i'll do that like whatever 0.99

00:26:00.160 the joke was for me because for me it was always about the joke like i'm not one of these comics 0.99

00:26:04.060 that like like we have these hilarious comics that like uh and it's really funny like we let 0.93

00:26:09.060 other we let people come to america and then they make millions of dollars like shitting on america

00:26:13.040 like it's the most hilarious thing it's like under the guise of like we're helping you it's 0.84

00:26:17.820 like you guys have countries go help them you know what i mean like not helping us but like

00:26:22.320 it's just this hilarious thing that you could just go and whatever point is i don't care about

00:26:27.200 the politics of it i care about the jokes right it's just funny and i think chappelle's in a

00:26:31.680 different you know ball game where like everything he says has a little bit more weight and means 0.63

00:26:35.540 shit but me i i just i want to i want to make jokes were there were there any points in this 0.87

00:26:40.840 one where he crossed i i got on the phone my mom to talk about it yeah she watched she watched it 0.98

00:26:45.260 yeah or no sorry she watched an npr special on it because as you know everybody and yes why do

00:26:50.300 we need to think so much it's too much fucking think pieces bro were there any times he crossed

00:26:54.120 the line no in my opinion you can't cross the line in comedy it's like ever no you cannot cross 0.96

00:27:00.060 the line if if it's funny or if you're going for the joke you know like i think um what was it

00:27:05.040 patrice o'neill you guys know what patrice is patrice o'neill is the best in my opinion the

00:27:08.800 best ever and like his whole philosophy was like an unfunny joke and a funny joke start from the

00:27:13.720 same place the goal is always to make you laugh like if you want us to not tell the joke don't

00:27:20.240 laugh at all right right like the opposite of love is not hate the opposite of love is apathy yeah

00:27:26.460 Right?

00:27:26.740 That's what people miss.

00:27:27.480 It's like, if I tell a joke and you're booing, I got something.

00:27:30.460 Yeah.

00:27:30.640 I haven't made it funny yet.

00:27:31.740 Yeah.

00:27:32.060 But I got it.

00:27:33.020 You know what I'm saying?

00:27:33.800 I got you.

00:27:34.420 Because you got a feeling.

00:27:35.380 That's it.

00:27:35.860 I gave a feeling happen.

00:27:37.480 Now I'm going to make it silly enough and then we can have fun.

00:27:39.920 Yeah.

00:27:40.220 But that's exactly what I'm looking for is the reaction.

00:27:42.220 If you just sit there and give me no reaction, every comic, I swear to God, will go, I need

00:27:46.780 to punch that up.

00:27:47.700 I need to get that a little bit better.

00:27:49.620 What about if a joke is, you're saying it's impossible to cross the line, but what if 0.99

00:27:54.480 a joke is is not a joke and it's just not funny i remember there was that one female comic a while

00:27:59.440 back maybe like a month ago and she was making fun of uh xxx oh yeah dina yeah yeah i remember 0.61

00:28:05.540 that did like i fucking hated that did that still works for you yeah it was a good joke really yeah 0.74

00:28:12.780 i didn't like that i didn't like that at all man it was a good joke and i and i spoke to x like 0.93

00:28:19.160 but you know i would dmx a little bit and i still thought it was a good joke because it had nothing

00:28:23.840 to do with x like what i hated is when people tried to justify the joke by x's life right like

00:28:29.760 oh he did these things and he was accused of you know beating it doesn't matter what he did or

00:28:34.340 didn't do the joke is about venmo it has nothing to do it's like the joke was what was it um you

00:28:41.780 know i was watching you know i heard about the story about xxx you know tentacion he was uh

00:28:45.540 brought fifty thousand dollars to go buy a car and he was killed and robbed and he's like if that

00:28:50.120 isn't the best joke that is the best example of venmo or commercial promotion or advertisement

00:28:54.640 whatever it is you know what i mean and uh she's just doing like a missed misdirect but the point

00:28:59.120 is it's a joke right it's nothing it's not going to bring x back it's not going to keep x dead like 0.53

00:29:03.200 these are the jokes yeah and jokes are not for everybody yeah like if we can have holocaust

00:29:07.580 yeah yeah but you could have 9-11 jokes i just think i don't know i don't know what because

00:29:12.400 like you're right jokes are not for everyone and i am like a i'm a i'm a very open-minded person

00:29:16.000 but that one just fucking struck me the wrong way because you probably really love x yeah 0.63

00:29:20.220 i think it's it comes down to like i like what you said about action right if you don't like 0.87

00:29:25.360 the joke don't laugh and i think if you don't like if somebody really crossed your line yeah

00:29:29.960 which i'm sure it crossed a lot of people's line because that's you know a figure of our generation

00:29:34.960 then she's gonna not have people tuning into her next special so i think the best way you can

00:29:39.920 i guess cancel somebody or you know uh like just hate somebody is to not give them your

00:29:47.360 view don't give them your eyeballs because i i didn't know who she was before that so

00:29:52.320 naturally famous yeah the big i think the big like you said the biggest lesson out of it is

00:29:57.120 if you don't like it don't watch it there was a there was a part of the thing you got to miss 0.95

00:30:01.860 it here is like everybody thinks their feelings matter like your feelings don't mean shit yours 0.97

00:30:08.340 don't mean shit mine don't mean shit yours don't mean shit like we we were raised in this weird 0.99

00:30:13.680 time where if we complained about like our teachers right our parents would go oh let's 0.99

00:30:19.680 get those teachers fired and then it got in our heads that like when we complain it means anything 0.97

00:30:24.180 it's the stupidest idea ever you can feel shitty about something that's okay and you hold on to 0.99

00:30:29.020 that shit that's life i don't mean like i remember when he was making jokes because like my biggest 1.00

00:30:35.400 thing is i went into it trying i'm like let me experiment with this let me find a way to get 0.98

00:30:40.240 offended by it and i watched the whole episode and there was a long chunk of it where he goes 0.98

00:30:44.660 into heroin addicted whites yeah that hits home for me because i spent 10 years as a fucking 0.94

00:30:49.140 opiate addict right there was not one like oxy oxy and heroin yeah there was not one shot it no 0.99

00:30:55.260 no i didn't bang it but but still yeah like dope but there was not one point of watching him talk

00:31:00.360 about women jumping out of garbage cans strung out on heroin like that i was like yo that hurt

00:31:07.340 my feelings right at not one point and i'm like yo by the way like there may have been parts like

00:31:12.840 where i was like damn that that one that one was a that was i almost felt bad laughing at certain

00:31:18.580 parts like even a little bit but there was never a point where i was like he went too far i'm gonna 0.58

00:31:23.140 go activate on this now and protect the sanctity of the heroin yeah addicted community on this one

00:31:28.920 yeah because y'all like to your point it's just it's just the easiest way to put it is just we

00:31:33.700 we have just gotten so tangled up and like i i am very hurt right now yeah and someone has to pay

00:31:40.520 for it did it cause so did it cause you to reflect in any way i'm curious yeah i mean uh like on what

00:31:47.060 you went through no it didn't it didn't really it didn't really bring it just it just felt like

00:31:52.680 yo like the good thing i think he did that protected him in a lot of ways in this show

00:31:59.020 was he took shots at everybody yeah there was very few protected groups protected groups

00:32:05.020 that could have said like yo you came at us but not them like he just went to everybody and so

00:32:10.560 it's hard for one group to come out and be like oh well you said this about us and then they're

00:32:14.640 like well he said about us too are we all gonna stop watching them or all flip out together like

00:32:18.600 Where's the unity of the cancel culture?

00:32:21.000 It's always one group who's pissed off at a time.

00:32:23.980 Well, everybody's competing for victimhood.

00:32:26.320 Yeah.

00:32:26.880 Who's winning?

00:32:29.240 It's a close call. 1.00

00:32:30.900 Yeah, I think the blacks got it. 1.00

00:32:32.780 I think the blacks are on top. 1.00

00:32:34.060 Oh, really? 1.00

00:32:34.740 Yeah, I think.

00:32:35.560 Who else?

00:32:36.160 Who would you think?

00:32:36.740 Well, who did the hierarchy of victimhood?

00:32:40.140 You can find it.

00:32:41.060 I don't know. 1.00

00:32:41.280 Do you think the trans are on top? 1.00

00:32:43.300 Not. 1.00

00:32:45.100 I can't speak.

00:32:45.820 Oh, why not?

00:32:47.280 nah nah

00:32:48.340 you get in trouble

00:32:49.280 oh yeah

00:32:49.980 can you give them

00:32:50.540 can you give them

00:32:51.360 context on the last episode

00:32:52.540 we were just talking about

00:32:53.340 how I was trending

00:32:54.620 on twitter

00:32:55.100 not because of a controversy

00:32:56.440 controversy

00:32:57.440 if I answer your question

00:32:58.760 trust

00:32:59.380 there will be a million tweets

00:33:01.020 about whatever I say next

00:33:02.440 do you feel comfortable

00:33:03.420 pulling up the hierarchy

00:33:04.400 at least

00:33:04.780 or is that not something

00:33:05.520 we should show

00:33:06.080 what a victimhood hierarchy

00:33:07.440 yeah I mean it does exist

00:33:09.140 it's worth

00:33:09.580 we can talk through this

00:33:11.320 who cares

00:33:11.580 this is the

00:33:12.660 I'll be honest

00:33:14.300 this is why

00:33:15.080 this is why I put out

00:33:16.660 the the crowd work special it's definitely not i don't think it's something like that

00:33:21.540 like i got probably the most diverse audience in comedy and the point of it was there was just too 0.97

00:33:33.160 much fucking thinking everything was a thought piece about some shit you know what i mean like 0.98

00:33:37.160 it's just popeyes puts out a chicken sandwich and there's like these think pieces about it 1.00

00:33:41.460 It was just too much, right? 1.00

00:33:43.000 And basically what I did is I just did, I have this crowd and this Indians and blacks 1.00

00:33:49.240 and fucking white chicks and all these different religions, whatever. 1.00

00:33:53.200 And I just roast them one by one. 1.00

00:33:56.140 And it's shot in a way where you see them laughing at it.

00:33:58.880 And it's like, you can't be offended on behalf of someone who's laughing at themselves.

00:34:03.100 And the whole point was we can laugh at ourselves.

00:34:05.220 This idea like we don't have a sense of humor is nonsense.

00:34:07.300 yeah all we do with our friends all day is make the worst possible jokes right and the second

00:34:13.080 we're being recorded all of a sudden we have to be like these pious moral like human beings

00:34:18.060 it's not so interesting just show people laughing don't tell them what to do just show it and

00:34:23.400 everybody falls in line that's always been my philosophy you do do a lot of crowd work on stage

00:34:27.660 has there ever been blowback from any of your bits one guy because he was he like murdered 0.98

00:34:32.960 somebody who was in jail for a while and like oh shit and then it was just like i didn't know and 0.91

00:34:37.900 then we were you didn't know that he had murdered someone i think i knew i put it together like 0.98

00:34:41.480 when he said he like what was the joke it wasn't even a joke i was just talking to him he's like

00:34:45.820 well when you're in jail for eight years or whatever oh and then we i was like well what

00:34:49.820 were you in jail we were trying to figure it out and i put the clip out and it started to 0.81

00:34:52.500 fucking go it was like it was out for a few hours at like half a million and then i got like an 0.88

00:34:56.920 email from the guy like hey you didn't ask my permission yeah he's like he's like i'm gonna 1.00

00:35:01.540 kill you yeah i mean you didn't say that but it was like this ain't worth it he's like you didn't 0.69

00:35:07.360 ask for my permission and then put the squirt gun emoji right but you didn't ask the guy that 0.98

00:35:12.520 you killed permission to do that so i don't feel that bad what if he did true true yeah sign this 0.98

00:35:18.620 nda did you take down that clip uh yeah i took down oh shit so if your life is in danger you'll 0.96

00:35:23.260 buckle only if i don't have a uh like a like a signed thing so now we put a thing on all the 0.95

00:35:28.620 doors at the comedy like you're being filmed you're being filmed so it's already do you do

00:35:32.720 phone in the bag for your shows videotape i think phone in the bag bag is whack like i want you to

00:35:40.000 take a picture or take a video oh it's a big it's massive in comedy right now because people are so

00:35:44.800 scared they're scared for their lives i mean literally like it is it is it's more about your

00:35:48.640 material it's like louis just keeps getting leaked and it takes so long it takes so long to develop

00:35:53.780 an hour and then some guy records

00:35:55.940 a whole thing and then uploads it to YouTube.

00:35:57.960 That would piss me off because

00:35:59.720 that's your livelihood. Like, I can't tour

00:36:01.940 if I don't have the hour of material that I'm

00:36:03.800 touring with, right? And if you leak that,

00:36:06.140 like, that's fucked up. What did you think about the Louis 0.97

00:36:07.880 bit in Chappelle's shit? 0.99

00:36:09.860 Oh, what did he say? I forgot it. 1.00

00:36:12.320 One of the only people that got in trouble 0.99

00:36:13.920 for jerking off in their own bed. Dude, the Louis thing is absurd. 0.99

00:36:16.140 It's like, he asked permission. What do you

00:36:17.900 want? He asked.

00:36:19.980 If he asks, how much more 1.00

00:36:22.040 can you do yeah can i jerk off in front of you okay what else do you want can you tell me 1.00

00:36:29.880 you're sitting your daughter down right you're sitting your daughter what do you tell her with 1.00

00:36:34.780 guys you say they no means no yep of course right yes means yes no means no right you tell your 1.00

00:36:42.180 daughter that she's in a room can i jerk off no means no yes guy jerks off 0.99

00:36:47.640 dude you can't say anything yeah right it's just a weird thing and he's ugly if zach efron was 0.99

00:36:56.960 whacking off in front of people it wouldn't be a big deal right any of you guys could whack off 0.99

00:37:01.340 in front of girls it would be cute as fuck i don't know about him dude i don't know yes you 1.00

00:37:05.880 could you could whack off race your girl would be fine with that she'd be used to it she's like 0.99

00:37:12.120 yeah no but yo i love it oh come on this is like absurd it's like you know they they it was planned

00:37:18.720 that attack there was a new york times it was like reaching out to girls for months

00:37:23.060 some reporter was trying to find girls because they heard the rumors so they were trying to dig

00:37:28.500 up the story i bet that happens a lot it was targeted it's what happens with college athletes

00:37:33.340 a lot i know from from my school when i was at michigan state there was a guy named keith mumfrey

00:37:37.740 And he got his NFL chances down the shitter.

00:37:41.680 He couldn't go to the NFL because a girl came after him and said, you know, she was in the Me Too stuff.

00:37:47.020 Years go by.

00:37:48.260 Literally, I just saw the article that it got solved.

00:37:51.040 The university had to pay him a quarter or $750,000 and her a quarter million just to settle it and walk away because his NFL chances were just shot because of this.

00:37:59.880 The university kicked him off the football team because of sexual misconduct.

00:38:03.380 Why did they pay him?

00:38:04.720 Was she lying?

00:38:05.560 Yeah.

00:38:06.200 Oh, she was lying.

00:38:07.140 and the university took action on something

00:38:09.740 that wasn't true. That's common, man.

00:38:11.920 There's a lot of athletes that are getting slammed

00:38:13.740 by that. And you know what, really, what the real

00:38:15.720 shit with Louie is? And then, look, I can't 0.99

00:38:17.660 confirm none of this, but like, what did

00:38:19.740 Louie start doing

00:38:20.640 kind of before this all bubbled up, right?

00:38:24.060 Oh, now you're talking, boy.

00:38:25.780 Now you're talking. Out of nowhere,

00:38:27.620 he produces his

00:38:29.660 own sitcom, right? Cuts

00:38:31.600 out everybody. He fronts the money. He does

00:38:33.740 all that kind of shit, right? 1.00

00:38:34.760 he's producing he has his own 1.00

00:38:37.140 ticketing service he has his own

00:38:38.980 email list he's blasting everybody he's editing 1.00

00:38:41.080 everything himself he's shooting all his own shit 1.00

00:38:43.020 once you start cutting motherfuckers 1.00

00:38:45.360 out that used to make money 1.00

00:38:47.240 on you and probably used to

00:38:49.160 you know squash things and used to keep

00:38:51.260 things quiet right once you cut

00:38:53.200 them out they're like oh wait you're not gonna go make all that 0.81

00:38:55.260 money damn it's almost like they 0.91

00:38:57.220 make an example of you so other people that are like 0.99

00:38:59.320 oh you thinking about acting up right now we

00:39:01.220 just did this like to whoever 1.00

00:39:02.820 Then fuck the shit 1.00

00:39:04.080 You know 1.00

00:39:04.340 Yeah

00:39:04.640 It's a control

00:39:05.220 It's a control game

00:39:06.160 It's like I'll protect you

00:39:07.660 And I'll keep all these

00:39:08.680 You know voices quiet 1.00

00:39:09.760 And I'll keep these girls 1.00

00:39:10.600 From like coming out about shit 1.00

00:39:11.640 As long as I'm making 1.00

00:39:12.380 Millions of dollars on you

00:39:13.460 This one seems like

00:39:14.780 A bit of a reach

00:39:15.420 It could be

00:39:15.900 This one seems like a reach

00:39:16.840 It could be

00:39:17.280 Who is that?

00:39:20.300 Oh look

00:39:20.800 Look I'm not gonna put it out there

00:39:22.600 Yeah

00:39:22.820 I don't know

00:39:23.380 I don't know exactly for sure

00:39:24.560 Cause you don't wanna get smacked

00:39:25.760 It's not even

00:39:26.380 It's not even me

00:39:27.260 It's not even me getting smacked

00:39:28.340 Is it

00:39:28.720 That's just what

00:39:29.760 I'm just doing math

00:39:30.660 I'm not even a conspiracy guy 0.98

00:39:32.260 I'm just saying the moment the most powerful guy in entertainment starts to pull his shit back and set an example that, hey, you can do this on your own. 1.00

00:39:40.600 You really don't need any of these motherfuckers. 0.99

00:39:42.460 I mean, it's like what you guys are doing, right? 1.00

00:39:44.480 It's really no different.

00:39:45.420 I think it's more like Ninja, to be honest.

00:39:48.500 Ninja with him switching over to Mixer.

00:39:50.280 But Ninja's got a daddy, right?

00:39:53.200 His daddy is Mixer or Adidas or whoever the new thing is, right?

00:39:56.380 He's not bouncing completely.

00:39:58.840 What about Vitaly?

00:40:00.120 Like Vitaly kind of did that.

00:40:01.380 He has but

00:40:02.120 He's protected

00:40:03.420 He's protected

00:40:04.900 But here's why

00:40:05.860 How

00:40:06.100 Because he came out

00:40:08.640 Beating up

00:40:10.100 Strangers

00:40:11.060 In the street

00:40:11.900 And having

00:40:12.620 Like he

00:40:13.260 What was his prank

00:40:14.680 Back in the day

00:40:15.340 No he pretended to be a zombie

00:40:16.880 Whatever

00:40:17.280 He's a prankster on YouTube

00:40:20.960 That just

00:40:21.900 Hopped platforms

00:40:23.340 He does

00:40:23.720 His own

00:40:24.600 His own app called

00:40:25.340 Vitaly Uncensored

00:40:26.240 Where it's like a sexual

00:40:27.740 Prank 0.92

00:40:28.380 Hybrid 1.00

00:40:29.980 I want to say porn 1.00

00:40:30.640 Yeah it's like

00:40:31.120 It's like a weird hybrid where it's uncensored, obviously.

00:40:34.420 Yeah.

00:40:35.640 And he's converted a really, really large audience subscription service, by the way.

00:40:41.020 So he's making bank.

00:40:41.860 Genius.

00:40:42.240 Like bank, by the way.

00:40:43.340 Data.

00:40:43.620 We heard some numbers.

00:40:45.140 Which we don't know what's what. 0.99

00:40:47.020 But I guess what I was getting at is when he started, even as zombies or beating up strangers, whatever the fuck he was doing. 0.98

00:40:52.580 Yeah, yeah. 0.98

00:40:52.880 When he started, he was huge. 0.99

00:40:55.880 It's all the fucking same. 0.99

00:40:57.320 What do zombies do? 1.00

00:40:58.860 They beat up strangers. 1.00

00:40:59.400 They beat up fucking strangers, okay? 1.00

00:41:00.980 That's the point. 1.00

00:41:01.680 All right, exactly.

00:41:02.100 It's all full circle.

00:41:03.340 Eat them.

00:41:03.700 But listen, what he's built a platform on is-

00:41:06.700 How has anybody ever gotten caught by a zombie?

00:41:09.520 Yo, what's it good?

00:41:11.320 It boggles my mind.

00:41:12.540 Unless they're like-

00:41:13.440 They're inherently slow.

00:41:14.380 The I Am Legend zombies, those boys are quick.

00:41:16.520 No, no, no.

00:41:16.980 You know why?

00:41:17.640 Persistence.

00:41:18.040 Let's say you have the slow zombies.

00:41:19.460 Yeah.

00:41:20.660 Persistence.

00:41:21.360 Persistence is key. 0.99

00:41:22.020 Yeah, it's the Jason shit or whatever, like the slow- 0.99

00:41:24.140 Who would follow you? 0.99

00:41:25.260 Was it Jason?

00:41:25.860 Yeah, Jason.

00:41:26.320 He was so slow, but also he can morph from spot to spot.

00:41:29.580 Well, you have to sleep.

00:41:30.980 zombies like they don't they ain't about that six eight hours no they're going yeah yeah yeah

00:41:36.140 slow and steady it's a marathon yeah yeah okay i got you yeah the i am legend one is they're quick

00:41:41.160 they're quick and they can like climb on each other and stuff yeah no that's that's good they

00:41:45.260 function like an ant community anyways it's because it's new york that was just all the 0.99

00:41:49.440 black and puerto rican zombies all these zombies were taking place in like fucking michigan 1.00

00:41:55.320 those are fat white people chasing each other right that'd be extra slow fat zombies 0.99

00:42:00.960 anyways yeah can't so so the cancelers are they dude no one gets canceled anymore like who 0.97

00:42:09.560 actually gets canceled the people that are trying to make it happen what about harvey

00:42:14.480 harvey got actually harvey got canceled that's a crime that's a crime yeah is he in jail

00:42:20.560 he's gonna be

00:42:22.460 no he's not

00:42:23.400 you don't think so

00:42:23.980 no

00:42:24.460 he's got too much money

00:42:25.820 he's not going to jail

00:42:26.920 they all dropped the case

00:42:28.240 right

00:42:28.420 I think every one of them

00:42:29.340 dropped the case

00:42:30.140 he just paid everybody off

00:42:31.380 dude he's not going to jail

00:42:32.600 no one gets canceled

00:42:33.660 what's the name of the company still

00:42:34.840 the Weinstein company

00:42:37.140 the Weinstein group

00:42:37.900 yeah but didn't they file

00:42:38.580 for bankruptcy

00:42:39.160 I

00:42:40.180 no

00:42:40.780 I thought the Weinstein company

00:42:42.320 I thought they did

00:42:42.760 I thought they were gonna get bought

00:42:43.760 wasn't Jay-Z 0.99

00:42:44.400 Spencer's looking all this shit up 0.99

00:42:46.320 right now 0.99

00:42:46.680 point is no one

00:42:47.480 the last person to get canceled was

00:42:49.120 I think a trial will be

00:42:50.460 delayed until January. Yeah, but Kathy was 0.74

00:42:52.460 broke before that. The last person to be

00:42:54.440 successfully canceled was like

00:42:55.720 Christopher Columbus, bro.

00:42:58.400 Way back, dude. The Italians got 1.00

00:43:00.360 pissed, bro. Was it the Italians? 1.00

00:43:02.660 I don't remember. I'm saying this. 0.99

00:43:04.540 It could have been just the liberals. I don't know.

00:43:06.120 Here's why I think, let's say Weinstein, who by

00:43:08.440 the way, I think might be a bad example

00:43:10.400 because he did criminal acts.

00:43:12.640 Yeah, but

00:43:13.520 I think he is

00:43:16.420 100% definitely canceled

00:43:18.560 because what else is he going to do?

00:43:19.880 Let's say he doesn't go to jail.

00:43:21.100 What does Harvey Weinstein do?

00:43:22.580 Does he buy a ranch in Oklahoma?

00:43:25.200 Do you know what he does?

00:43:25.860 The same thing he always has done, 1.00

00:43:27.540 which was just sat on his ass while other people made movies. 1.00

00:43:30.520 Finance. 0.99

00:43:31.600 Nothing changes.

00:43:33.120 Dude, the one guy that got canceled 0.53

00:43:34.500 was the guy who came out as gay from House of Cards,

00:43:37.740 Kevin Spacey. 0.57

00:43:38.500 Oh, Spacey got smoked.

00:43:39.940 I think he's the only guy.

00:43:42.500 Is he coming back?

00:43:43.580 Let's go.

00:43:45.160 I did see some stuff of him.

00:43:46.860 I'm going to stop short of rooting for him

00:43:52.320 Because didn't he get cancelled for 1.00

00:43:53.820 Molesting little boys or some shit 0.99

00:43:56.360 No I think the kid was like 18 0.99

00:43:58.040 Or something like that

00:43:58.600 Yeah but still I don't know if I want to root for him

00:44:01.120 What about Jussie Smollett 0.99

00:44:02.180 Dude I saw Jussie having fucking 1.00

00:44:05.060 Eggs 1.00

00:44:06.740 At Lafayette

00:44:08.180 In New York's eggs

00:44:10.040 The guy was having eggs

00:44:10.920 At Lafayette

00:44:11.620 I took a picture of it

00:44:12.360 At Lafayette in New York

00:44:14.440 A couple weeks of scrambled eggs

00:44:16.680 fried. No, no. Nice fried.

00:44:18.660 Like, nice fried eggs. Is there a nice way to fry

00:44:20.720 your eggs? I don't know. I was just like,

00:44:22.240 welcome to the city, country mouse.

00:44:24.340 Why is everyone so

00:44:26.300 jumping on everyone about their word

00:44:28.600 today? My mammy used to fry my eggs 1.00

00:44:30.700 real nice. I don't know. He could have been in

00:44:32.640 the dumps and had to go down to scramble, all right?

00:44:34.920 Dude, you're talking about juicy smoulier

00:44:36.600 here, bro. He don't go down to the

00:44:38.620 fucking dumps for shit, 1.00

00:44:40.680 bro. Even he didn't get canceled. 1.00

00:44:43.220 By the way,

00:44:44.580 what does canceled mean? That's a bigger

00:44:46.520 You're out the game.

00:44:47.620 It's over.

00:44:48.060 But Harvey Weinstein, he gets canceled. 0.99

00:44:50.000 He still, bro, he just sets up a new LLC in someone else's name and fun shit. 0.99

00:44:54.240 That's it. 0.99

00:44:54.520 Is he really canceled?

00:44:55.800 Hey, question.

00:44:57.120 Here we go.

00:44:57.820 Do you think you could have guessed that Harvey Weinstein was doing all those things before

00:45:03.720 he got accused of them?

00:45:05.180 Like when I see pictures of Harvey, it just seems so obvious to me.

00:45:08.280 You've been in LA, right?

00:45:09.640 You've been in LA for a little bit, right?

00:45:11.160 You've been out here operating in this world, and you've been creating content that people like and enjoy, right? 1.00

00:45:19.100 You think that you could get your dick sucked to have a girl in a YouTube video? 1.00

00:45:23.460 Do I think I could? 1.00

00:45:24.620 Do you think a girl would suck your dick to be in one of your vlogs? 1.00

00:45:27.740 It cringes me to even answer this question. 1.00

00:45:29.880 The answer is obviously yes.

00:45:31.360 Yes, obviously yes.

00:45:32.220 And you don't even get an Oscar at the end of it.

00:45:35.380 So why?

00:45:36.340 It's like, but also like, hold on a sec.

00:45:39.860 Well, the biggest thing is necessity here.

00:45:41.960 The reason why that would never happen is because, obviously, he would never have to do that based on his personality.

00:45:47.880 And same for me, based on personality and everything outside of it.

00:45:51.240 Was that why Weinstein had to use his power? 0.59

00:45:54.440 Because he looks like a meatball?

00:45:56.260 No, not because he looks like it.

00:45:57.800 It has nothing to do with looks.

00:45:59.500 I think they—

00:46:00.680 Nothing.

00:46:01.260 You don't think? 1.00

00:46:02.160 Dude, we've seen ugly motherfuckers have bad bitches forever. 1.00

00:46:04.980 Yeah, but they're probably balling. 1.00

00:46:06.140 We don't care about the way men look.

00:46:08.120 That means nothing, right?

00:46:09.020 It's an added bonus, but the reality is

00:46:11.080 if you're great at what you do, you're going to get laid.

00:46:14.000 Just to give it some context,

00:46:15.460 he's not even losing a fifth

00:46:17.320 of his net worth from all that.

00:46:20.200 Isn't that crazy?

00:46:21.400 Are you sure?

00:46:23.060 Yeah, his net worth is between 240 and 300 million.

00:46:25.800 Oh, he's chilling, dude. And by the way,

00:46:27.000 even if he loses two fifths, who gives a fuck? 0.99

00:46:29.340 You still got 200 million. 0.98

00:46:30.520 To come away from what he has with that,

00:46:32.740 I think from what I pull from it,

00:46:34.600 just from a completely different viewpoint,

00:46:36.320 is it's more about the karma bro like if you're really damaging that many people's life in the

00:46:43.140 next life a plant is gonna come on harvey you're gonna be a plant bro you're gonna be the plant 0.97

00:46:48.240 and someone's gonna come on you dog you're not even a human you just have to be a dirty plant 0.97

00:46:54.640 he's gonna have a shitty yeah next life that's fair um i just think the funny thing about these 0.99

00:47:00.280 things like the whole thing with me too the whole the whole movement like it's always like 50 year 0.95

00:47:05.420 old chicks right these like 50 year old actress chicks that are coming out and they're talking

00:47:09.060 about it right yeah and it's because of course you are because you're not getting the auditions 0.97

00:47:13.860 anymore like margot robbie ain't saying shit because she enjoys getting all the roles in 0.98

00:47:20.160 hollywood okay i guarantee some director has said some wild shit to margot but she's like you know 0.97

00:47:26.480 what i'll put up with that because i'm getting 20 million dollars to do this movie with will smith 1.00

00:47:30.480 when you're 50 and nobody's answering the phone calls and you used to suck dick to get the 1.00

00:47:35.080 auditions and you're like i used to suck this motherfucker's dick to get auditions and now 1.00

00:47:38.900 i can't even get a call back i think you raped me that's what i think the game is by the way 1.00

00:47:46.280 the other thing with all this is i think people think that watch from the outside that that this 0.96

00:47:52.720 was this land you know land this massive explosive story that came out of nowhere yeah everybody in 0.63

00:48:00.340 that fucking circle knew exactly what was going on for all the years leading into it i'm not every 0.81

00:48:05.300 girl that hung out at those parties knew what harvey weinstein did and i'm and by the way i 0.97

00:48:10.140 want to i want to put this out there because i think it's important to say we talked about campus

00:48:15.080 sex assault we've talked about me too we've talked a lot of things here don't even watching this for

00:48:20.340 a second think we're taking anything away from the importance of those movements to protect actual

00:48:25.180 victims because like we talked that we talked about and by the way i'm not even i don't even

00:48:29.460 know if anyone would infer that but i'm just saying why would they they will but that because

00:48:34.880 they will because it goes it goes right back to the where we started this podcast of people looking

00:48:41.180 for any possible way to jump on somebody yeah but they're the reason why those voices are silence 0.98

00:48:46.920 like i when you cry wolf right that's what this a lot of this shit is is the boy who cried wolf 0.98

00:48:54.340 and then there are other people who are really getting eaten by a wolf and nobody's listening 0.98

00:48:58.820 because there's all these boys who cried wolf

00:49:00.820 and nothing really happened. 1.00

00:49:01.980 So that's why you got to cut this shit out. 1.00

00:49:04.280 You got to cut out these stupid stories 1.00

00:49:05.600 so that when we hear, 1.00

00:49:06.780 like right now, if a girl goes,

00:49:08.280 this guy, me too'd me.

00:49:10.100 You know, 90% of people in society are going to go,

00:49:13.240 well, what really happened?

00:49:15.260 What, let's be, did you know?

00:49:17.340 We don't even believe it anymore 1.00

00:49:18.380 because there's been so much bullshit. 1.00

00:49:19.960 That's the danger of the bullshit. 1.00

00:49:22.660 That's the danger of the misinformation. 1.00

00:49:24.880 That's why, yeah.

00:49:25.560 So it's like, yeah, they should get out of here.

00:49:26.880 how much of it do you think um not not to align it with like a left or right or a location again

00:49:32.400 but i'm going to how much of it do you think has to do with the fact that the stories about

00:49:38.480 entertainment that get out to the media all come from the bubble that is los angeles oh yeah i mean 0.97

00:49:44.600 this shit is nonsense dude it's like of course you just put out whatever narrative you want like 0.96

00:49:49.060 you guys saw the variety article where it's like conan o'brien is bringing back podcast or like is 1.00

00:49:54.680 is making podcasts the shit yeah what the fuck but like what that is is that's mainstream hollywood 0.95

00:50:01.580 realizing it missed the wave which was the podcast wave yeah and that's their way of trying to like 0.99

00:50:06.920 recapture that and reclaim that right they're going oh we're ahead of this this is actually

00:50:12.600 ours here's the guys you should look at they know they're behind unfortunately them doing that still

00:50:17.300 works because i think he's what like number three or number four on like most viewed or most listened

00:50:22.280 podcaster he was when he started i don't know if he still is sink down a little bit um i'm not sure

00:50:26.940 i mean usually you get that initial bump everybody's number one when they drop and you fall back but

00:50:31.600 but yeah that's this is hollywood just coming becoming unhinged like you live here uh no i

00:50:36.520 live in new york do you like coming to la yeah for the comedy the comedy scene is good out here

00:50:41.100 i got you and is that what you're doing right now uh no i just came out here to do some podcasts

00:50:45.320 because i had this special drop tight tight tight and you you do do a lot of uh you're like pro

00:50:49.940 bite-sized content versus the hour-long special yeah i think you got to earn the hour okay like

00:50:55.180 i you know like when you first start anything you don't deserve anybody's hour of attention

00:50:59.420 like a stranger walking up to you and saying hey can i talk to you for an hour that's the most

00:51:04.160 absurd notion in the world so it's like i had to build up to an hour like this last one was 35

00:51:09.920 minutes the next one will probably be around an hour something like that but it took me years

00:51:14.440 of slowly building up that confidence

00:51:16.560 and that patience in me.

00:51:18.060 How long?

00:51:18.360 How long?

00:51:19.480 I mean, I've been doing it probably

00:51:20.580 coming up on 13 years,

00:51:21.880 but, you know,

00:51:22.880 the last probably three years

00:51:24.140 I've been doing it

00:51:25.000 in, like, small, bite-sized content.

00:51:27.180 I heard comedy,

00:51:28.660 stand-up comedy

00:51:29.140 is one of the hardest things

00:51:29.900 to do in entertainment.

00:51:30.760 Is that true? 0.99

00:51:31.460 I haven't done the other shit. 0.99

00:51:32.940 It's probably not as hard 0.99

00:51:33.840 as his girl's job. 1.00

00:51:36.060 That shit seems difficult. 0.99

00:51:37.640 I'm like, 1.00

00:51:38.160 I asked her.

00:51:39.580 I asked her.

00:51:40.380 Quite literally, man.

00:51:41.660 No, that's got to be tough.

00:51:43.020 I mean, 0.99

00:51:43.400 that's what you get for dating a porn star 1.00

00:51:46.800 yeah who's the girl what's her name 1.00

00:51:49.260 uh I'm oh you want to jerk off 0.99

00:51:51.220 through her later phone no I just want to see what 1.00

00:51:53.100 she looks like her name's her name's Emily Willis 0.99

00:51:55.200 I had her on my show um

00:51:57.000 and then also what's your show I'll check out your

00:51:59.100 show it's called the night shift it's a 0.97

00:52:00.900 it's a porn and culture 0.99

00:52:03.020 oh you're about porn I like adult 0.63

00:52:05.080 content I think it's an untapped 0.91

00:52:06.660 no he's not yo you're not

00:52:08.960 he's not about porn let me help you here

00:52:11.100 okay thank you no go ahead

00:52:12.560 It's not about porn.

00:52:13.580 He just doesn't shy away from porn.

00:52:15.980 Yes, that's right. 0.81

00:52:16.400 Oh, by the way, hold on.

00:52:17.760 Let me say this. 0.87

00:52:18.300 To be fair, though, what percent of Mike's brand is porn?

00:52:20.780 Let's say like 20?

00:52:21.520 No, not that much.

00:52:22.400 20? 0.98

00:52:22.740 Maybe he is about porn. 0.89

00:52:23.960 It's got to be kind of...

00:52:25.760 No, I want to put a couple pieces out there.

00:52:30.640 What do you say in the percentages?

00:52:32.900 Oh, she says 35.

00:52:34.620 So one thing is this.

00:52:36.360 I don't watch porn.

00:52:37.400 Smoke show. 0.69

00:52:38.380 Yeah. 0.96

00:52:38.820 Got a little Emily Ratajkowski vibes.

00:52:40.960 Well, that's why I asked.

00:52:41.920 She's 20 now. 1.00

00:52:42.780 When does she turn into a reptile? 0.98

00:52:44.780 A reptile. 1.00

00:52:45.600 A reptile?

00:52:46.380 She's only 20? 0.76

00:52:47.380 20.

00:52:47.820 So let me say this really quick. 1.00

00:52:49.120 How many porns has she made? 1.00

00:52:49.680 A ton. 1.00

00:52:50.300 She's going to be best newcomer, dude. 1.00

00:52:51.800 She's doing them daily. 0.99

00:52:52.840 Right.

00:52:52.980 Let me say this.

00:52:54.260 I don't watch porn.

00:52:55.500 Yeah.

00:52:55.900 What I do is, so here's what's happening.

00:52:57.580 Tell me more lies.

00:52:58.800 No, no. 1.00

00:53:00.260 Let me fucking speak, Andrew. 0.98

00:53:03.520 What's happening right now in LA, in the podcast, in the show, and in the YouTube scene is you're 0.99

00:53:08.700 starting to see a bleed over of the adult industry into the culture and so like there's so like

00:53:14.540 there's a show called no jumper adam 22 that's my guy adam right yeah so he has started to bring it

00:53:19.720 over and so i'm honestly just grabbing my surfboard so porn stars in real life they shift your habits

00:53:27.540 when it comes to how to talk to how to talk to women but they haven't how so for me they haven't

00:53:32.560 at all so so they make you think it's much easier to get laid than it really is and you start to 0.99

00:53:38.540 expect more than 99.9% of women are willing to give yeah for sure for example uh like they're 0.90

00:53:46.640 just like it's not it's not good training for fine and wifey is what that's a fact no i'm just okay

00:53:51.040 so say say you get in this loop where i'm by the way a lot of probably your friends and my friends

00:53:55.860 and my friends probably get caught in this loop.

00:53:59.020 Yeah.

00:54:00.680 Not my friends.

00:54:03.360 Well, I'm talking about celebrities in general.

00:54:05.660 Okay, I got you.

00:54:06.400 I'm not.

00:54:06.940 Which I'm not. 0.99

00:54:07.480 You just start having sex 1.00

00:54:08.800 and hooking up with porn stars 1.00

00:54:09.740 over and over and over again. 0.87

00:54:10.960 And it's so easy, by the way.

00:54:12.140 Like they walk in the front door, 1.00

00:54:13.740 you fuck, you eat lunch, you fuck, 1.00

00:54:15.880 you watch a movie. 1.00

00:54:16.780 And by the way, they're doing crazy shit. 1.00

00:54:18.520 Right. 1.00

00:54:19.000 And the first time you take a normal woman on a date, 0.97

00:54:24.020 yeah you have to schmooze her a little bit you have to woo her you have to win her over it's

00:54:27.840 not it's not pants down right away don't you enjoy that i i do i'm just saying it can get 0.98

00:54:32.280 dangerous especially if like your only goal is to have sex here's the here's the one cork i'll 0.89

00:54:37.760 put in it and i made a tweet about it yeah i hate to like be the bear of bad news but really 0.95

00:54:43.400 the only thing separating the adult film stars yeah and the la club girls yeah our camera rolling

00:54:51.260 in the bedroom that like the expectations are the same are almost the same for the porn stars and

00:54:56.040 the girls i see at the club yeah hang out meet them come back to the house hot tub for 20 minutes

00:55:00.620 and then it's it you know what i'm saying so it's like the expectations when you want to find a wife

00:55:05.700 or a long-term girlfriend are completely different i understand that and by the way

00:55:08.820 my expectations will never change when i when i meet a girl that's nice and i meet her at the

00:55:14.460 grocery store yeah i'm gonna say to her hey like by the way i've had this situation in the past

00:55:19.200 don't never change are you you promised you haven't been jaded you don't think you've been

00:55:23.320 jaded i've been jaded on the idea of the sanctity of womanhood a little bit by the way that happened

00:55:31.020 before i started hooking up with porn stars because of the sexual culture of new york city

00:55:35.200 and la it's not just porn stars it's the average girl that i go when i go to when i go to tau in

00:55:40.540 new york or when i go to marquee in new york yeah the only difference is there's no camera rolling

00:55:45.280 right they're still they're still and but and like i'm i'm very very very chilling hands off at 34

00:55:52.180 years old if i don't have sex that night i'm just gonna eat buttery toast and watch a netflix special

00:55:57.260 i don't care you don't need it i don't need it at all that's important don't need it all and

00:56:01.560 that's the other thing that separates you from expectations and from being harvey wine i like 0.97

00:56:05.080 i don't care i don't fucking give a shit yeah i like what you said about how uh porn hub and all 0.98

00:56:11.240 is like porn is making this transition 0.99

00:56:13.520 into modern culture.

00:56:15.620 Did you guys see Pornhub

00:56:17.480 put out the PSA about

00:56:19.440 climate change?

00:56:21.180 You gotta look this up.

00:56:23.420 Pull up the video.

00:56:25.660 What's the deal with this?

00:56:27.400 I'm over this climate change. 0.99

00:56:29.660 I'm fucking over this. 0.99

00:56:31.140 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1.00

00:56:32.920 Nope, nope, nope. Off the site.

00:56:34.620 Can you guess what came up, bro?

00:56:37.060 I'll find the link.

00:56:39.180 Pornhub video launched a reason.

00:56:40.520 about plastic pollution.

00:56:42.340 Please play it.

00:56:43.520 You just made me go to Pornhub, bro. 1.00

00:56:45.460 I saw hentai. 1.00

00:56:46.400 I'm sorry.

00:56:46.980 Oh, you did?

00:56:47.640 Wait, go back.

00:56:49.560 It's Mike's one time of the month.

00:56:51.380 What's the deal?

00:56:52.060 What is their concern about the plastic thing?

00:56:54.840 Well, there's a bunch of plastic in the ocean.

00:56:56.480 So apparently Pornhub wanted to get involved in it

00:56:58.880 and they wanted to bring some awareness.

00:57:01.140 Do you guys really care about this environment?

00:57:02.780 Wait, hold on a second. 0.99

00:57:04.780 Can we fucking talk about like how many animals? 0.99

00:57:07.480 Can we watch this video? 0.99

00:57:08.140 Is this it?

00:57:08.620 Yes.

00:57:09.000 Can you pull the big screen?

00:57:10.520 At Pornhub we have a motto

00:57:13.240 We don't use plastic

00:57:14.840 The dirtier the better

00:57:18.940 But even for us there's a limit

00:57:23.480 Right 0.99

00:57:24.720 This is like in the Philippines 0.99

00:57:26.620 Dirtiest porn ever 0.99

00:57:39.220 No, no, no 1.00

00:57:40.400 That's not the fucking one 0.99

00:57:41.660 Yeah 0.99

00:57:42.080 I think it is

00:57:43.400 There was

00:57:43.720 Give me a hot second

00:57:45.320 But we got it

00:57:46.720 We got the emissions

00:57:47.420 I think we got it

00:57:48.440 There's a lot of bottles

00:57:49.380 On the beach

00:57:50.000 I'm gonna send something

00:57:50.880 Go ahead

00:57:51.220 Is there more

00:57:51.940 There's bottles on the beach

00:57:52.860 There's straws and turtles noses

00:57:54.220 You've seen the video

00:57:54.880 I don't buy that either

00:57:55.920 I think that's fake

00:57:56.700 What do you mean

00:57:57.140 What do you mean

00:57:57.620 The straws and the noses

00:57:58.720 How you about to say that

00:58:00.280 How

00:58:00.640 The straws are deep 0.99

00:58:02.360 How the fuck could 0.99

00:58:03.260 Okay 0.99

00:58:04.240 My buddy had a joke about it

00:58:05.520 So I can't take it from him

00:58:06.420 But the idea 0.99

00:58:07.320 Of how fast a fucking turtle 1.00

00:58:09.520 would have to swim 1.00

00:58:10.580 directly into a straw.

00:58:12.980 No, no, no, no, no.

00:58:14.500 If we're going to talk about it,

00:58:15.980 we're going to talk about it.

00:58:17.440 Turtles, known as the slowest 1.00

00:58:19.080 fucking animal on the planet. 1.00

00:58:20.260 Not in the water. 1.00

00:58:21.180 Not in the water, bro.

00:58:22.100 Even in the water.

00:58:23.180 I've seen them.

00:58:23.780 They don't go that fast.

00:58:24.940 They would have to swim 0.68

00:58:25.760 You haven't seen an Alaskan 0.97

00:58:26.820 king's spice crab.

00:58:28.420 Into a straw.

00:58:29.800 It's fast, dude.

00:58:30.620 Into a straw.

00:58:31.940 Or into a tampon 0.99

00:58:32.780 or whatever the fuck they are. 1.00

00:58:33.740 And it lodges into their nostril 1.00

00:58:35.840 and somehow goes even further.

00:58:37.100 Do you know the chances of that?

00:58:38.420 Have you ever tried to grab something in the water and you go for it and it moves out of the way?

00:58:42.100 Yeah, it's probably pretty low.

00:58:43.280 I think they might eat it.

00:58:44.240 It's fake.

00:58:44.620 PETA's doing it.

00:58:45.400 No.

00:58:45.600 What?

00:58:46.180 PETA?

00:58:46.680 It's PETA.

00:58:47.460 PETA?

00:58:48.100 PETA's doing it.

00:58:48.980 It's the Jussie Smollett of animals.

00:58:52.280 I'm tapping out of this combo. 1.00

00:58:55.120 Dude, I'm telling you, it is fucking bullshit. 1.00

00:58:57.780 This is the thing. 1.00

00:58:58.700 PETA's putting straws in turtle's nose? 1.00

00:59:00.660 100%.

00:59:01.060 All marketing.

00:59:01.700 Shout out to Robbie Slowick, man.

00:59:03.200 He thought of this idea. 1.00

00:59:04.120 I'm telling you, it's all bullshit. 1.00

00:59:06.080 How many animals do we need? 1.00

00:59:07.180 let's just let's talk about that how many total animals do we need we need all of them spencer

00:59:12.000 i'm just gonna wait i'm not saying anything this is all you know all the animals protect the 0.98

00:59:16.780 fucking animals spencer why why do we need them all spencer tell us i think what animals do we 0.98

00:59:21.660 need how many animals do we need spencer people who know no it's it's more about when you remove 1.00

00:59:27.240 like look up when you take away bees for example bees when you take those away it can eliminate

00:59:32.800 every part. I don't buy that at all.

00:59:35.340 They tell you that shit. It doesn't happen. 1.00

00:59:37.720 It doesn't happen.

00:59:38.880 That's how the first...

00:59:39.540 I got to protect Spencer

00:59:43.200 on this one a little bit because

00:59:44.500 let's talk about

00:59:46.960 if somebody says there's gravity

00:59:49.240 and then you drop something

00:59:51.340 and it falls to the ground

00:59:53.000 and you're like, no, I'm not buying the whole gravity thing.

00:59:55.940 He's got some decent

00:59:57.200 proof or reasons to believe.

00:59:58.860 The thing is people think 1.00

01:00:00.180 fuck you just said shit that had nothing to do with what the fuck we're talking about okay this 1.00

01:00:05.300 is the reality like polar bears gotta go rhinoceros had a good time you gotta go oh my god it's got a 1.00

01:00:13.800 stone growing out of its head this is this is the this is not meant to be here this is this is the

01:00:17.900 issue okay so hey what you're saying oh that's a valid point yeah but when we look at the course

01:00:23.520 of history yes man will always realize how small man is and what you're saying is man's ego and 0.63

01:00:31.360 you're not the only one that's thought this way throughout culture shit dude talk to the 500 0.98

01:00:36.280 cities that are 30 or 300 feet underwater and all of their civilizations civilizations are dead 0.99

01:00:42.660 because of mosquitoes i don't believe in aquaman or whatever the fuck you're talking about karma 0.92

01:00:47.080 always comes back around okay karma can come back around i'm cool with that you're coming back as an 0.99

01:00:52.960 anal bead in the next life, bro. 0.98

01:00:54.620 God bless. 1.00

01:00:55.360 Harvey Weinstein's anal bead. 0.99

01:00:56.840 No, no, it's not. 0.99

01:00:57.640 I don't care.

01:00:58.040 I don't care.

01:00:59.260 I don't care.

01:01:00.040 My point is this.

01:01:00.980 We're going so far to save all these animals.

01:01:03.060 You don't care about polar bears.

01:01:04.420 Do you really care about polar bears?

01:01:05.660 Polar bears are lit.

01:01:06.460 They are.

01:01:06.760 What do you like?

01:01:07.180 Do you like seals or polar bears more?

01:01:08.740 Because you can't like them both.

01:01:10.080 You can't like them both.

01:01:10.940 You can't like them both.

01:01:11.760 You have the predators and the prey. 0.99

01:01:13.280 If we get rid of polar bears, seals are pretty fucking happy. 0.99

01:01:15.460 I think it's a chain reaction of negative shit because there is an ecosystem and there 1.00

01:01:20.920 is a balance. 0.99

01:01:21.520 Sure, technically, humans don't need polar bears.

01:01:24.880 But what happens when the polar bears are wiped out?

01:01:26.540 There's more seals.

01:01:27.420 What happens when there's an extra amount of seals?

01:01:29.840 What happens?

01:01:30.240 I don't know.

01:01:30.840 Exactly. 1.00

01:01:31.700 We'll deal with that shit when we get there, dog. 1.00

01:01:34.280 What if it's bad? 1.00

01:01:36.340 Just figure it's not going to be bad.

01:01:38.400 Here's a perfect example.

01:01:39.420 Here's what happens when there's extra seals.

01:01:41.520 And walrus.

01:01:42.200 Walry.

01:01:42.740 Walry.

01:01:43.260 Walrus.

01:01:43.800 They jump off the mountains.

01:01:45.300 Yeah.

01:01:45.620 You seen that?

01:01:46.200 I have seen that.

01:01:46.720 Yeah.

01:01:47.300 So they jump off the mountain. 0.94

01:01:48.180 You have to figure the fuck out how mountains work. 0.98

01:01:49.860 You have become. 0.99

01:01:50.480 Look, the dodo bird just walked off

01:01:53.300 and then it was gone. You don't need to be around.

01:01:55.160 If you're walking on mountains, you don't need to be around.

01:01:56.860 I think what happens with that mentality...

01:01:58.380 How many animals do you love? You really need.

01:01:59.800 We need two animals or three animals.

01:02:01.480 Okay, I'm just saying.

01:02:03.900 Put the animals aside.

01:02:05.380 Sharks are lit.

01:02:08.400 Very cool.

01:02:10.420 Sharks of all the five animals?

01:02:12.980 Have you seen a great white

01:02:14.120 jump out of the water?

01:02:16.680 I was a bit surprised. 1.00

01:02:18.760 Have you seen a great white? 1.00

01:02:19.980 That's the best one animal you get out of here.

01:02:22.680 Sharks? 1.00

01:02:23.500 Asians don't even eat sharks. 1.00

01:02:25.020 They're a useless fucking animal. 1.00

01:02:27.260 They're useless. 1.00

01:02:28.320 Have you seen a great white shark? 0.99

01:02:30.100 They don't even eat sharks.

01:02:30.800 They eat everything.

01:02:31.500 They eat jellyfish.

01:02:32.400 They don't eat sharks.

01:02:32.940 The last time I'll go.

01:02:34.160 I'll proudly defend it.

01:02:34.780 I'll proudly defend it.

01:02:35.700 Have you seen a great white shark jump out of the water?

01:02:39.980 That's the most badass animal on the face of the earth.

01:02:42.140 I love that thing.

01:02:42.740 He gets a foot out of the water.

01:02:43.940 Have you watched the WNBA game?

01:02:45.480 Look it up.

01:02:46.080 He has the vertical of a WNBA player.

01:02:48.820 You're about to get schooled.

01:02:50.180 Sharks beat it.

01:02:51.360 Pull it up, Logan.

01:02:51.960 Sharks gotta go.

01:02:52.460 Pull up the image, Logan.

01:02:53.640 I'm surprised you chose sharks, bro. 0.99

01:02:55.520 I'm not gonna give you shit about the sharks. 0.99

01:02:57.560 Okay, number two, 0.96

01:02:58.440 because this is gonna get really weird.

01:02:59.380 Can I say one thing on one really quick?

01:03:01.640 The last time I saw a shark,

01:03:03.320 he was tearing apart a victim

01:03:05.160 on a family vacation I was on in Cape Cod.

01:03:07.760 See?

01:03:08.000 What? 1.00

01:03:08.380 Ripping, because they eat humans' legs.

01:03:10.480 And then he went into a tender opioid file.

01:03:12.020 And I PTSD because of that.

01:03:14.420 Okay.

01:03:14.620 The first time I ever did an oxy

01:03:16.060 was because I couldn't get the image 1.00

01:03:17.320 of fucking the shark. 0.99

01:03:18.820 You're trying to cancel me for what shark I like. 1.00

01:03:21.940 You're trying to cancel me?

01:03:23.560 Okay.

01:03:24.000 Next, what is this?

01:03:24.840 Okay, look how high he gets.

01:03:25.280 Okay, that's not that high.

01:03:26.460 That's not that impressive. 1.00

01:03:27.620 This fat fuck couldn't even get off the ground. 1.00

01:03:30.000 You see that that's what you like? 1.00

01:03:31.900 Because his mouth came out of the water?

01:03:32.420 There's way more impressive photos, all right?

01:03:34.520 There's way more impressive photos. 1.00

01:03:35.620 Dude, what a dick. 1.00

01:03:36.340 What a fucking dick. 1.00

01:03:37.420 Are they surf? 1.00

01:03:38.840 Dude, they bite surfers and shit. 0.99

01:03:39.440 Dude, that's pretty badass. 1.00

01:03:40.900 Look at this.

01:03:42.280 Look at that.

01:03:43.540 Look at that. 1.00

01:03:43.700 What a stupid animal. 1.00

01:03:44.680 I'm surprised you chose this. 1.00

01:03:45.900 What a stupid animal, dude. 1.00

01:03:46.940 That's a dumb animal. 1.00

01:03:48.580 What's the first thing that came to my mind? 1.00

01:03:50.020 That's the dumbest animal I've ever seen. 1.00

01:03:52.220 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:03:53.180 Let's go another one. 1.00

01:03:54.620 I'm scared of getting judged at this point.

01:03:55.700 Why would you not say dogs first?

01:03:57.300 Dogs got to be number one.

01:03:58.580 Dogs number one. 1.00

01:03:59.840 Dude, we've fucking mated them for years, so they're just complete bitches. 1.00

01:04:03.860 All they do is just sit in front of us. 1.00

01:04:05.980 They do whatever we tell them.

01:04:07.080 They roll over.

01:04:08.240 That's a good animal.

01:04:09.300 It's a good animal.

01:04:10.060 Okay, number two.

01:04:10.720 But you're trying to hold me to some societal standard, okay? 1.00

01:04:13.260 Holy shit. 1.00

01:04:13.620 I get to pick what animals I like. 0.99

01:04:15.620 All right, dog?

01:04:16.580 Okay, go.

01:04:17.020 You like shark, go.

01:04:19.020 We're going to find some karma.

01:04:19.900 I'm going to keep it general.

01:04:21.240 Birds.

01:04:22.620 Birds are sick. 1.00

01:04:23.600 Oh, fuck, dude. 1.00

01:04:24.400 Listen, chickens are sick. 1.00

01:04:25.220 You need chickens.

01:04:25.680 I'll give you chickens.

01:04:26.700 You need to eat the chickens.

01:04:27.660 The rest of them could go.

01:04:28.600 He's a vegan.

01:04:29.600 I am.

01:04:30.560 I don't eat chickens.

01:04:30.960 He doesn't eat chickens.

01:04:32.120 I don't eat chickens.

01:04:32.520 But he eats eggs?

01:04:33.160 He eats eggs.

01:04:33.620 I do eat eggs.

01:04:34.020 Dude, you are wild. 0.99

01:04:35.440 I'm going to hell for that one. 1.00

01:04:36.280 I'm going to hell, dude. 1.00

01:04:37.460 You eat them before they even become the chickens? 1.00

01:04:41.140 Dude.

01:04:41.660 That's how much he eats chickens.

01:04:43.200 He doesn't even want them to become chickens.

01:04:45.400 His stomach is a Planned Parenthood.

01:04:50.620 Okay, keep going, keep going, keep going.

01:04:55.020 Next.

01:04:56.000 All right, what else we got?

01:04:57.340 What other animals we got?

01:04:59.220 Three more, dude.

01:05:00.600 Dude, I mean, frogs are cool.

01:05:02.740 Bro, what are you saying?

01:05:03.980 Frogs are cool, dude.

01:05:05.460 Bro.

01:05:06.060 Dude, Spencer's three years old.

01:05:08.720 Dude, frogs are sick.

01:05:09.580 Sarks, birds, frogs.

01:05:11.380 You don't want any pets?

01:05:13.240 How many frogs have you even seen?

01:05:14.500 You know the pet I'm going to get.

01:05:16.420 I can't talk about it.

01:05:18.300 I can't even release it yet.

01:05:19.820 What do you mean you can't release it?

01:05:20.820 Okay, jungle cats.

01:05:21.700 No, no.

01:05:21.940 Cats are sick.

01:05:22.680 Jungle cats are...

01:05:23.060 No, no, no. 1.00

01:05:23.380 House cats suck. 1.00

01:05:24.360 Yes. 0.99

01:05:24.800 I'm sorry.

01:05:25.080 Those are very low.

01:05:25.800 What is the pet that he wants to get that he can't talk about?

01:05:27.360 Just say it.

01:05:27.820 It's a caracal.

01:05:28.760 It's a caracal cat.

01:05:29.520 It's not a cat.

01:05:30.220 Is that a Dumbledore? 0.99

01:05:31.100 Is that like a fucking Harry Potter? 0.99

01:05:33.040 They're badass. 1.00

01:05:33.520 They could kill you. 1.00

01:05:34.480 Oh. 1.00

01:05:35.000 They're sick.

01:05:35.600 Okay.

01:05:36.000 So jungle cats.

01:05:37.060 So a cat.

01:05:37.580 You want a cat.

01:05:38.260 Yeah.

01:05:38.460 How come you let them off so easy on a cat that could kill you?

01:05:41.300 Here's the thing about cats. 0.76

01:05:42.660 That's pretty sick.

01:05:43.640 Cats I kind of respect.

01:05:44.960 I have a respect for cats.

01:05:46.220 That's the last animal I thought you would respect.

01:05:48.140 No, I have a respect.

01:05:48.740 I feel like one of the reasons why is because you respect them and their ability to say, 1.00

01:05:55.340 fuck you. 1.00

01:05:55.960 I'm not going to listen to you. 1.00

01:05:57.400 You're not going to cancel me.

01:05:58.920 You're not going to tell me what to do.

01:06:00.260 Oh, you want me to come right now? 1.00

01:06:01.980 Fuck you. 1.00

01:06:02.740 They're the Dave Chappelle animals. 1.00

01:06:04.220 100%.

01:06:04.620 100%.

01:06:05.940 I hate cats, bro.

01:06:08.080 Yeah, but you're thinking right about this.

01:06:09.640 Do you know what I mean?

01:06:10.300 But I'm glad we agreed that you barely could think of five that you like.

01:06:13.100 There we go.

01:06:13.460 So we don't need them all.

01:06:14.780 There's some that can go, right?

01:06:16.540 There's some that can go.

01:06:17.340 That's what we got left.

01:06:18.780 Birds, sharks, caracow.

01:06:20.940 And I think you only even did four.

01:06:23.200 I don't even think you got to number five.

01:06:26.420 Animals I like.

01:06:27.500 You didn't even put dogs on there.

01:06:29.100 God dang, bro.

01:06:30.060 The animal thing is a little bit over,

01:06:31.540 and I think the global warming thing is a little bit overdone.

01:06:34.060 I think that we don't need, you know.

01:06:35.380 Do you think we need a globe?

01:06:36.320 do you think the earth is flat no i don't think you know i don't think it's flat do you think

01:06:42.380 there's an earth at all yeah i think there's an earth you know here's the thing obviously it's 0.89

01:06:46.460 a flat you know it's a circle or whatever a sphere and uh but like who gives a fuck either way i

01:06:52.240 kicked some girls out of my house the other day because they thought it was flat and that made 0.67

01:06:56.320 you made them want to leave was anyone here no no so here's what happened how they leave i um yeah

01:07:01.080 i they're like do you think the earth is rotten they're uh from london do you think the earth

01:07:05.920 is round or flat. I go,

01:07:07.920 you know what? I actually know for a fact

01:07:09.900 there is no Earth. And they're like, oh my god,

01:07:11.900 finally someone's speaking our language.

01:07:13.640 And I'm like... He thought he was gonna, like, scare

01:07:15.820 them off with that, and they were like, wow, you think the right

01:07:17.900 way. And by the way, 2.30

01:07:19.860 a.m., Mr. Bad 0.99

01:07:21.880 Boy over here, porn star, sleeping 0.99

01:07:23.900 at this point, because I'm responsible. 0.99

01:07:26.200 You were sleeping? Yeah. I come downstairs,

01:07:27.740 he's got a harem of flat Earth girls down 1.00

01:07:29.880 here. I like that. And all the shit he talks to me 1.00

01:07:31.720 about porn stars. I like that. 1.00

01:07:33.520 No, no, no, no, no. Dude, by the way, flat Earthers,

01:07:35.920 I like that.

01:07:37.120 Oh, wait.

01:07:38.140 Are you sure?

01:07:38.820 I can tell, actually.

01:07:40.840 Oh, my God, dude.

01:07:41.960 It's a flat earth society mug.

01:07:42.560 You brought your own flat earth society mug?

01:07:43.960 No, they gave me this cup.

01:07:45.120 But I like, I don't believe in flat earth. 0.99

01:07:46.920 I think that's pretty dumb. 1.00

01:07:47.700 But I like the idea of a flat earth girl because they're gullible. 0.99

01:07:51.620 You can convince them anything you want. 0.99

01:07:54.260 It's your G-spot's in your throat.

01:07:56.040 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:07:56.680 Like, there are things you can get a flat earth girl to do that you can't get a spherical earth girl to do. 0.98

01:08:03.680 Right? 0.97

01:08:04.360 Huh? 1.00

01:08:04.600 so i'm with you on this harem of flat earth girl they will believe anything bro real talk oh my

01:08:11.680 god that was well played oh my god man all right here we go i've never i've never laughed harder 0.97

01:08:17.340 i think you're about to defend uh me in some way when i said about porn stars porn stars you said 0.99

01:08:24.240 and you were about to say no i never said i think you're reaching bro fuck damn i was looking for 0.99

01:08:29.180 I'm okay if you're into the porn stars, dude. 0.99

01:08:31.720 That's fine. 1.00

01:08:32.820 Go through your face. 0.97

01:08:34.920 We're not going back. 0.99

01:08:35.860 We're not going back here.

01:08:37.380 Listen, you worked on this show called Guy Code.

01:08:39.400 Oh, dude, years ago.

01:08:40.240 Yeah.

01:08:41.140 Yeah, a long time ago.

01:08:42.100 How was that?

01:08:43.060 It was fun.

01:08:43.600 It was cool?

01:08:44.100 Yeah.

01:08:44.420 I have a segment here.

01:08:45.580 We do segments on this show.

01:08:46.740 Okay.

01:08:47.740 We change it to bro code so we don't get copyright infringement.

01:08:50.200 Call it Guy Code.

01:08:50.920 What are they going to do? 0.82

01:08:51.680 I don't know.

01:08:52.360 Let's do a segment.

01:08:53.100 We have this amazing graphic here that our producer Dylan made.

01:08:56.260 Mike asked him why he's...

01:08:57.140 Oh, this is dope.

01:08:57.800 why he's a producer if he can make these amazing graphics get it dylan um i'm gonna present you 0.83

01:09:04.220 with a scenario go and and you i want your advice yeah okay you don't like your friend's girl she's 0.82

01:09:09.620 a bitch yeah what do you do this happens with him a lot he doesn't he doesn't often like who i'm 0.78

01:09:14.200 talking dude i i you know what i um i kind of went for it and uh it doesn't work at all it doesn't 0.99

01:09:22.100 You just got to let them do their thing.

01:09:23.660 I gave pushback and, you know, eventually they just, 0.99

01:09:28.160 they're going to do what they want to fucking do, man. 0.97

01:09:29.740 You got to at least say how you feel and let them know up front. 0.98

01:09:33.400 Yeah.

01:09:33.740 But at the end of the day, like guys are going to do 0.95

01:09:36.880 whatever the fuck they want to do. 0.86

01:09:38.120 I set up false storylines to create a major rift. 0.99

01:09:41.920 And so I'll be like, I'll like create a whole play out of it.

01:09:45.300 Yeah.

01:09:45.500 Almost like a movie script that I'll put,

01:09:47.400 make like 50 pages in my room and I'll read it every day

01:09:50.200 when I get up and I'm like, all right, I'll go downstairs. 0.99

01:09:51.740 I'll be like, damn, bro, I saw that chick you're talking to. 1.00

01:09:55.800 He's got a new man, dude, and shit. 1.00

01:09:57.900 And, like, I'll make up this whole play, 0.99

01:09:59.320 and, like, I'll pit them against each other

01:10:00.660 until they eventually end up fighting.

01:10:02.320 And they break up.

01:10:03.460 It's guaranteed.

01:10:04.480 It's guaranteed anything to protect the sanctity of the brotherhood.

01:10:09.280 Ah, I see.

01:10:10.300 I see, okay.

01:10:11.120 Yeah, no, I don't know.

01:10:12.620 By the way, none of that's true.

01:10:13.740 I'm only playing into the fans,

01:10:16.360 because the fans, his last relationship,

01:10:18.920 they blame me for their breakup.

01:10:20.760 they're like oh he did it did he get involved a little or he's gonna he's pretty involved she

01:10:25.060 would also say that you know what what it's not true but what happened what would you say what

01:10:29.400 was your i know we i mean we both know it's just a mutual growing apart right it's just it's just 0.89

01:10:34.100 we're both uh like fire signs all we want to do is fucking masochistically fight fire signs yeah

01:10:40.080 like aries i'm not like a horoscope guy but i use that example for anyone who is a horoscope guy 0.95

01:10:44.700 right even if you're a girl uh i said fire steins like frankenstein we just fight a lot and we

01:10:52.560 liked it and like because we're masochists and i like i like drama and conflict and like that

01:10:56.580 doesn't work right it was one of us has to buckle i know what i'm saying yeah all right next scenario

01:11:01.120 you both like the same girl okay you and your boy are gunning for the same chick yeah how do you

01:11:06.640 settle it can't do that man i think you gotta call it i think you gotta call it up front really

01:11:12.340 Yeah, you guys compete for the same girl.

01:11:15.020 You're not supposed to.

01:11:16.160 I yield to my boys.

01:11:17.620 That's a huge violation.

01:11:18.800 It's like, you want it?

01:11:19.460 Go get it.

01:11:19.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:21.140 You know how I can relate this?

01:11:22.620 My brother and I have been in this scenario before.

01:11:25.180 Who won?

01:11:26.080 I did, and he got so mad at me.

01:11:27.580 Remember New Year's?

01:11:28.360 Oh, yeah, it was crazy.

01:11:29.420 It ruined my New Year's.

01:11:30.680 That's how bad it got.

01:11:31.500 Oh, hey, can we bleep this?

01:11:32.960 Hey, can we bleep this?

01:11:33.740 Can you mark this?

01:11:34.320 I'm going to say this name just to give you some context.

01:11:36.820 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:11:38.300 S***.

01:11:38.700 the way um we yeah yeah we were both we were both kind of flirting with her and i ended up

01:11:46.660 getting her number and he flipped on me done uh she had 0.66

01:11:49.560 it's like oh you got daddy issues i gotta take you down no but like how did you smash no no no 0.98

01:12:00.960 no no no we she lives somewhere not here but i mean you at least reached out is it fucked up 0.95

01:12:07.680 that my answer to this is best man wins no because you're you're probably competitive and like to you 0.67

01:12:13.600 it's more sport than it is actual like you meet girl and you like her where like i'm going if he 0.79

01:12:18.880 really likes her i don't even know her yet so i don't give a fuck that's like me i there's never 0.97

01:12:22.780 in vegas and we're at the and it's a fucking table and it becomes like a joke like all right i like 0.97

01:12:28.320 this girl i like this girl and we're both like absurdly hitting on her in a joking fashion but 0.98

01:12:32.960 we'll see who wins that's fine right and she's kind of aware of it as well and it's just like 0.98

01:12:36.780 we're all just goofing around having a good time but if my boy really fucking likes a girl 0.95

01:12:40.520 yeah i'm not gonna squash that if anything i want to big him up i'm just saying you know how amazing 0.99

01:12:45.500 my guy is yeah you find out your bro's girl's cheating on him oh no dude you gotta push her

01:12:50.720 in a river oh yeah lake yeah yeah i thought that i thought that my boy's girl was with somebody

01:12:56.680 and and i followed them but it wasn't her imagine if you had pushed her in a river dude that would

01:13:01.380 have been bad that would have been really bad but yeah no i followed them a little bit and i was 1.00

01:13:05.420 Like, is this fucking bitch actually cheating on my guy? 1.00

01:13:08.420 And it wasn't her. 1.00

01:13:09.680 But, oh, yeah, you got to tell immediately.

01:13:12.000 That's your boy.

01:13:12.820 But if your boy is doing a little something,

01:13:16.020 you're not telling your boy's girl.

01:13:19.940 No.

01:13:20.220 No, of course not.

01:13:20.900 I mean, yeah, we know.

01:13:22.500 Like, my boy's girl is always my boy's girl.

01:13:25.780 Like, I tell them all that right up front.

01:13:27.720 It's like, I like you.

01:13:28.680 You're going to be my friend.

01:13:30.080 But as long as you're with him.

01:13:33.020 Yeah, it's a loyalty thing.

01:13:33.940 Yeah, the second you stop being my boy's girl, like, I don't really know you.

01:13:36.720 Yeah, I got you.

01:13:37.440 You know what I mean?

01:13:37.840 Yeah, of course.

01:13:38.560 What about, would you ever hook up with your boy's ex?

01:13:41.960 No.

01:13:43.500 No, definitely not.

01:13:45.600 Definitely not.

01:13:47.020 No.

01:13:47.500 Why are you looking at me?

01:13:48.500 You guys do that?

01:13:49.200 No, I don't.

01:13:49.860 I don't.

01:13:50.620 I don't.

01:13:51.360 The thing is, these people.

01:13:51.880 No, we have a different definition of ex. 0.98

01:13:54.060 Oh, a guy that, like, if he fucked a girl back in the day, that's different. 0.65

01:13:58.300 No, like, they dated. 0.98

01:13:59.560 Like, heavily.

01:14:00.640 A year plus. 1.00

01:14:01.440 Like, kissed on the mouth and, like, in public type of shit. 1.00

01:14:04.440 What if your boy gives you permission? 1.00

01:14:06.060 Oh, you got to go.

01:14:08.160 But sometimes they'll give permission because they don't want to seem insecure.

01:14:11.120 Yeah.

01:14:11.620 Like, it's like, oh, okay.

01:14:13.260 Oh, wow.

01:14:15.200 That was probably it.

01:14:16.140 That was it.

01:14:16.840 That was it, huh? 1.00

01:14:17.440 Who did you fuck? 1.00

01:14:18.200 He hasn't spoken since the animals. 1.00

01:14:21.540 This guy is going through it, man.

01:14:23.220 He is really going through it.

01:14:24.120 He's like, but if they take the sharks, what about rabbits?

01:14:27.280 I like rabbits.

01:14:28.040 Would you take frogs back if we gave you the opportunity?

01:14:31.440 No.

01:14:31.960 That one was weird to me, dude.

01:14:33.240 I think he means psychedelic frogs.

01:14:35.100 The ones that have those properties.

01:14:36.220 You can lick the ones you can lick.

01:14:38.040 Frogs are lit, dude.

01:14:39.080 I don't care what anybody says. 1.00

01:14:40.420 Do you think New York and like, yeah, like New York bros follow a different set of rules than fucking. 0.99

01:14:47.300 Why, why? 0.99

01:14:47.940 What are you doing?

01:14:48.440 I don't know.

01:14:48.860 Because like me.

01:14:49.780 You're getting that something.

01:14:50.780 No, not really.

01:14:51.720 I just think, I think the same way as you on a lot of things, bro.

01:14:54.480 Like I just, like, I'll be honest with you. 0.99

01:14:56.760 There's a lot of like best man wins type shit. 0.99

01:14:58.960 I'm a big like 1.00

01:15:00.280 Yielder on shit 1.00

01:15:01.700 Like I just don't give a fuck 1.00

01:15:03.140 Yield 0.99

01:15:03.580 Like if you like

01:15:04.340 And it's so funny

01:15:05.100 Because sometimes

01:15:05.640 Like a guy will be like

01:15:06.320 By the way man 1.00

01:15:07.560 I saw her first 0.99

01:15:08.560 I like her

01:15:09.100 I'm like

01:15:09.380 Bro I'm literally

01:15:10.300 About to go order Shake Shack 0.99

01:15:11.640 I don't give a fuck 0.99

01:15:12.860 About this conversation 0.97

01:15:14.140 All right

01:15:14.620 It's weird

01:15:15.200 Yeah

01:15:15.520 There's like so much more like

01:15:16.780 Pride 0.77

01:15:17.900 About girls 1.00

01:15:18.920 And ego too right 0.99

01:15:20.000 It's like

01:15:20.740 Like dudes are validating themselves

01:15:22.540 About who they sleep with

01:15:23.600 And if they don't

01:15:24.480 They're empty

01:15:25.020 That's when I was talking about 0.99

01:15:26.260 Like addiction type shit 0.99

01:15:27.280 And we've all been through those phases 0.99

01:15:28.580 we're just fucking hoeing it up big time and like everyone by the way guys and girls oh for sure 0.66

01:15:33.540 how long do you think that phases can last before it becomes a problem oh i went through like maybe 0.91

01:15:38.940 a couple different versions of it and um i think it became a problem it became a problem and then

01:15:46.840 like i met my girl and now i got a girl so i don't oh yeah yeah but it's like maybe not a problem but

01:15:53.160 not a problem like it was an emotional issue a problem like i'm tired in the morning because

01:15:57.780 i was out late on a day drinking now i can't get work done yeah so is this affecting work this is

01:16:02.560 not worth it yeah we're in a weird we're in a weird place with it right now too because we're

01:16:06.440 we just both went sober because he's rolling up on a on a uh a fight on this fight oh you fighting

01:16:12.520 the guy again yeah that was good by the way i watched that you guys proved something very

01:16:17.160 interesting uh which was that what makes a fight watchable is not the level of skill it is the

01:16:25.980 backstory yeah you guys had way more viewership for that fight i'm a huge boxing fan like

01:16:31.800 generational boxing my dad used to like cover ali's fights like that i like love boxing i used

01:16:36.200 to box when i was younger and um it's like i remember watching that happen and remember those

01:16:41.700 24 7s that would happen on yeah yes yes it's like you guys built that yourself you guys had the

01:16:46.880 outlet to the people yeah you built up your beef you built up the interest to it and people watched

01:16:51.580 it and at the end of the day the a fight is the most primal way to solve anything we don't need

01:16:57.000 you to have the most perfect skills we need you to have the backstory yeah you know and it was 0.56

01:17:01.420 fucking i've loved i loved seeing it happen because it just yeah dude it proved like these 0.87

01:17:06.160 the guys that are like making these fights happen like the ufc guys they're not that smart 0.96

01:17:10.080 they just get a little bit more than most people it's the backstory yeah we uh it's november 9th

01:17:15.380 and actually this time it's a professional fight there's no headgear headgear's coming off yeah

01:17:19.020 200 gloves.

01:17:19.680 What do you wear?

01:17:20.000 10 ounce.

01:17:20.940 Whoa.

01:17:22.020 At the Staples Center. 1.00

01:17:23.260 At the fucking Staples Center. 1.00

01:17:24.240 Get out of here. 1.00

01:17:25.040 When is it?

01:17:25.720 When is it?

01:17:26.040 November 9th.

01:17:26.800 November 9th.

01:17:27.620 Yeah, it's going to be crazy.

01:17:27.900 I'm going to come out if I can.

01:17:29.160 Better, dude.

01:17:29.840 So this is good.

01:17:31.360 Are you, let's see, you're in November.

01:17:33.240 You're, have you started?

01:17:34.280 Yeah.

01:17:34.640 What do you have to get down to?

01:17:35.620 What is the catch weight?

01:17:36.360 I'm at the weight.

01:17:37.900 It's 200.

01:17:38.700 He's smaller than you, right?

01:17:40.100 He gained some weight, man.

01:17:41.660 Really?

01:17:42.840 Purposefully?

01:17:43.420 He said he was bulking, but I think it's just a classic, like.

01:17:47.020 McDonald's.

01:17:47.500 I think, no, I think when you eat a lot and you work out and you're in your body, like, I don't think his body is built.

01:17:53.620 I don't think he's got an athletic body.

01:17:54.860 He's got like a bigger frame.

01:17:56.020 Yeah, yeah.

01:17:56.360 And that's just how he fills out.

01:17:58.480 Yeah.

01:17:58.980 And we saw he turn into a meatball.

01:18:01.140 This is an easy fight for you.

01:18:02.460 Like, from what I saw, he's got an overhand right.

01:18:05.660 That's pretty quick.

01:18:06.500 But he has nothing to follow it up and nothing else there.

01:18:09.240 And it's like, as long as you keep distance like you did, you're jabbing and you're moving just away from the right. 1.00

01:18:15.080 The bullshit. 0.99

01:18:15.780 That's all it is. 1.00

01:18:16.380 It's the overhand right.

01:18:17.020 and he's so off balance

01:18:17.980 after throwing it

01:18:18.740 you almost want to

01:18:19.960 bait him into throwing it

01:18:21.000 it's because it's like

01:18:21.560 what punch would you use

01:18:22.860 I mean we talk about this

01:18:23.680 in camp

01:18:24.000 I'm curious what you would say

01:18:25.160 what punch to counter

01:18:26.560 the overhand right

01:18:27.180 is there a

01:18:27.700 I mean there's

01:18:29.240 it depends how risky

01:18:30.340 you want to take

01:18:30.700 it's like

01:18:30.980 like I want to knock 1.00

01:18:32.100 this motherfucker out 1.00

01:18:32.820 when he winds up in here 1.00

01:18:34.260 because by the way

01:18:34.700 I see it coming from

01:18:35.300 like a mile away

01:18:35.960 so then you throw first

01:18:36.840 it's straight right

01:18:39.320 yeah

01:18:39.600 I mean that's

01:18:40.740 now here's the thing

01:18:41.320 he throws it

01:18:42.180 he throws it quick right

01:18:43.760 like that's something

01:18:44.700 that I looked

01:18:45.160 and I was like okay

01:18:45.780 When I say quick, I'm not talking about, like, Lomachenko quick.

01:18:49.340 I'm talking about for the average person who's been maybe learning some boxing.

01:18:54.000 So he actually gets it off quite quick.

01:18:55.760 That's like a punch. 0.98

01:18:56.520 But if you see it from a mile away, it's straight right down the pike. 0.95

01:19:00.840 Got it.

01:19:01.440 I mean, dude, he's a brawler. 0.99

01:19:03.220 The thing that fucked him up. 0.98

01:19:04.500 He's got size on it. 0.60

01:19:05.540 It's like, you're not going to win that brawl. 0.66

01:19:06.840 The thing that fucked him up, the only thing that fucked him up was not being in shape for the fight.

01:19:10.940 And I think everyone knows that.

01:19:12.180 I think even JJ knows that.

01:19:13.480 Just like the conditioning is going to be down pat this fight.

01:19:15.820 That's all you need to worry about.

01:19:16.700 But also you have muscles and like those require oxygen.

01:19:19.520 That's what he said.

01:19:20.880 It's like the same thing that happened with Anthony Joshua, right?

01:19:23.140 Everybody's like, he looks in such great shape.

01:19:25.040 Why did he get so tired?

01:19:26.460 It's like, because when you're that big.

01:19:28.420 Is there a solve for that?

01:19:30.380 You could slim up, but I wouldn't.

01:19:32.500 I mean, I'm just running.

01:19:33.520 I'm sure that's what your coaches are telling you.

01:19:35.040 Are you training out here?

01:19:35.980 Yeah.

01:19:36.160 Who are you training with?

01:19:37.040 Milton Supreme is his name.

01:19:38.440 Milton Supreme.

01:19:39.120 He's from New York.

01:19:40.080 Yeah.

01:19:40.380 I don't know.

01:19:40.840 I'm sure he's good.

01:19:41.680 I'm sure he's good.

01:19:41.720 I'm sure he's good. 1.00

01:19:42.240 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:19:43.860 Oh, get out of here. 1.00

01:19:45.420 We're going to bring Shannon on, too, to our camp. 0.99

01:19:47.320 Oh, dude, he's good at hype and shit. 0.98

01:19:49.680 You have no idea. 0.99

01:19:50.640 It's interesting.

01:19:51.680 Oh, my God.

01:19:53.240 It's interesting, though.

01:19:54.120 I remember when we were in the gym one time,

01:19:55.640 he said that when you knock somebody out,

01:19:58.460 you're not even trying to go in and knock someone out.

01:20:00.920 It's going to happen clean.

01:20:01.740 You're playing your game, and that's when you get the—

01:20:04.500 But I think you knock him out not from one shot.

01:20:06.900 I think it's a combination.

01:20:07.980 It's a knockdown combination.

01:20:09.280 Yeah, because I think from what I was watching,

01:20:11.460 it was

01:20:12.400 I think you're tagging him

01:20:13.320 with the jab

01:20:13.760 as much as you possibly can

01:20:14.740 he'll try to time your jab

01:20:15.920 another thing is

01:20:17.140 it's faint

01:20:18.060 he tries to throw over

01:20:19.460 for sure

01:20:20.040 it's faint

01:20:20.640 pop out

01:20:21.320 and then just straight right

01:20:22.960 hey clip this

01:20:24.400 watch me knock him out 1.00

01:20:25.140 with that punch

01:20:25.580 I honestly

01:20:26.380 I think you hit him

01:20:27.540 with that punch actually

01:20:28.320 I think once or twice

01:20:29.400 in a fight

01:20:30.040 but I think what you're gonna do 0.68

01:20:31.240 is you're gonna hit him

01:20:31.860 with the straight right

01:20:32.640 it's gonna stun him

01:20:33.740 a little bit

01:20:34.240 and he's gonna be a little tired

01:20:35.460 and once his hands are down

01:20:36.780 you just start teeing off

01:20:37.760 that's what I would

01:20:38.820 is there a Vegas bet

01:20:40.120 you can make

01:20:40.720 where you can guess what punch

01:20:42.560 the knockout happens with.

01:20:44.520 I guarantee it.

01:20:45.360 You should bet it.

01:20:46.420 It's probably $13,000 to one.

01:20:48.420 You probably bet $10.

01:20:49.380 You probably went $130,000.

01:20:50.780 But you got to be careful too

01:20:51.780 because now you got no headgear

01:20:52.880 and you got the little gloves.

01:20:53.920 For sure.

01:20:54.340 So it's like you could get tagged.

01:20:55.740 For sure.

01:20:56.140 Yeah, for sure.

01:20:56.800 No, I've been watching fights my whole life.

01:20:58.640 I mean, I've watched tons of fighters 1.00

01:21:00.440 talk a rampant amount of shit 1.00

01:21:02.580 and then just get fucking pummeled 1.00

01:21:03.940 because at the end of the day, 1.00

01:21:04.860 it's a fight.

01:21:05.520 It's a fight.

01:21:05.780 Like anything can happen.

01:21:07.300 What's your background in athletics?

01:21:09.200 I did MMA in high school for four years, and I did wrestling and football.

01:21:13.780 Yeah, you have a build that could be wrestling or football.

01:21:15.520 I tried to get him to do a cage fight.

01:21:17.280 He wouldn't do it.

01:21:17.660 He wouldn't do it.

01:21:18.440 Because he shouldn't do it.

01:21:21.180 Do you follow MMA at all?

01:21:22.320 A little bit, yeah.

01:21:22.880 I'm trying to get one fight in the UFC after this.

01:21:26.040 I thought they spoke to you about that.

01:21:28.240 It's been like this weird phone tag type situation where we see each other talk about each other on the media.

01:21:35.840 I'm talking about Dana will say something, and I'll say something.

01:21:38.700 You should fight CM Punk

01:21:39.780 I want to so bad

01:21:41.020 He would wash him

01:21:41.780 I know

01:21:42.160 I don't think he will

01:21:43.420 I think he got

01:21:44.600 Embarrassed pretty bad

01:21:46.960 I don't think he's gonna come back

01:21:48.400 But it needs to be someone

01:21:49.640 Who's not like

01:21:50.060 You know 1.00

01:21:50.260 A fucking killer 1.00

01:21:50.960 Yeah 1.00

01:21:51.380 If that happens

01:21:52.780 Let me know

01:21:53.920 Cause 0.71

01:21:54.240 Do you know who

01:21:55.080 Israel Adesanya is

01:21:56.460 Stylebender

01:21:57.380 Oh yeah

01:21:58.240 Oh yeah

01:21:58.700 So that's a buddy of mine

01:22:00.340 And he should definitely

01:22:01.720 Come into camp

01:22:02.380 Cause he's just

01:22:03.260 This great personality

01:22:04.300 It would build

01:22:05.220 Things so well

01:22:06.440 And he's about to bust 0.99

01:22:07.320 Robert Whitaker's ass 0.99

01:22:08.500 in October so 0.99

01:22:09.240 we'll build that up

01:22:10.740 that'll be good

01:22:11.320 that'll be fun right

01:22:12.040 yeah yeah yeah

01:22:12.640 alright here let's do

01:22:13.160 the next one

01:22:13.900 oh I'm hyped

01:22:14.660 it's gonna be sick 0.97

01:22:15.760 it's gonna be fucking fun 0.96

01:22:16.940 yeah that'll be good 0.86

01:22:17.720 being in LA this year 0.99

01:22:19.000 you and your homie

01:22:20.420 are talking to two girls

01:22:21.240 your friend is trying 0.86

01:22:21.760 to close the hottie 1.00

01:22:22.500 her friend is 1.00

01:22:23.800 not so hot 1.00

01:22:25.140 oh shit 0.99

01:22:25.900 the classic grenade 1.00

01:22:27.780 situation

01:22:28.700 pull the pin

01:22:29.240 your friend is trying 1.00

01:22:30.380 to close the hottie 1.00

01:22:30.880 what do you do

01:22:31.780 in that situation

01:22:32.760 that's always a tough one

01:22:34.540 I don't know

01:22:34.960 I don't know

01:22:35.420 just gotta ask her

01:22:36.420 about her life

01:22:36.980 you know what i do how far are you willing to go by the way i mean i'll have conversations 0.82

01:22:41.880 about their life that's it though because by the way oh am i gonna have sex yes no because okay 0.99

01:22:46.480 because i don't do i don't do the grenade shit either yeah i will not do it i hate to say that 0.99

01:22:50.400 because i feel like a shitty friend yeah but i will not take the grenade because that's what 0.96

01:22:54.760 they're by the way a lot of times it's incumbent on that they're like they're like yo you are only 0.96

01:23:00.100 like a girl has literally said to me you are only having sex with me tonight if we're able to have

01:23:04.880 a sleepover because your friend is hooking up 1.00

01:23:06.820 with my friend, Melissa, who, by the way, 1.00

01:23:09.280 has fucking cupcakes hanging 1.00

01:23:10.820 out of the corner of her mouth, dude. 1.00

01:23:12.520 Do you know what I'm saying? And I'm like,

01:23:14.040 I don't want to do that

01:23:16.820 to my friend.

01:23:19.580 Here's the thing about a grenade,

01:23:20.940 though. If somebody doesn't jump on it,

01:23:22.960 it kills both people. No, 100%.

01:23:24.520 Because this is the problem.

01:23:27.160 He's back, baby.

01:23:28.140 I'm back. 1.00

01:23:29.860 He's fucking back. 1.00

01:23:31.460 Let him have his frocks. 1.00

01:23:33.920 give him his fucking frogs let's give me the frogs no but for real if you if if somebody doesn't take 0.99

01:23:39.960 the grenade then usually what happens i'm speaking from experience i've seen this before is the 1.00

01:23:44.920 grenade goes blows up the friend you're both done thousand percent you're both done thousand percent

01:23:50.580 and she becomes that girl that call her daddy has talked about so many times that is only doing it

01:23:57.160 because her friend wanted her to when in reality she's really not like i talked about this scenario

01:24:02.920 where have you ever been in a scenario where you say it's just you and there's a girl and her

01:24:07.920 friend and you're trying to close the girl and the friend is like stop samantha we have to go home

01:24:13.240 you said you have to wake up in the morning you have church you got to do and the girls like

01:24:17.320 literally got to a point where she's like yo can you please stop like i'm i really want this and 0.99

01:24:21.180 you're actually fucking it up yeah the caller daddy girls have said that more times than not 0.82

01:24:26.460 it's a conversation that's already happened between the girl that you're trying to hook up 0.99

01:24:30.860 with and the other girl to try to get her out of the situation yo do you think that's why louis ck 0.99

01:24:37.960 just whipped out his dick because he was tired of the back and forth yeah yeah yeah he's just like 1.00

01:24:43.660 but you can't do it you can't just whip out cocks i'll be just who just brought this up the other 1.00

01:24:49.260 day what about the dick coming out chanel west coast her friend just whipped out no more no more 1.00

01:24:55.960 whipping out dicks, guys. 1.00

01:24:56.920 You remember when you could do, you could take the try 0.99

01:25:00.120 at it. And then it was

01:25:01.840 either like, oh, well, I am a

01:25:03.980 fan of that. Or it was like, yo, you've

01:25:06.060 overstepped your boundaries and we're no longer. 1.00

01:25:07.840 Now, dick whipped out. 1.00

01:25:10.300 You should be able to whip your dick out in your 1.00

01:25:14.180 home. If it's my home, 1.00

01:25:16.080 my dick. Back in the 1920s, 1.00

01:25:18.060 we could whip our dicks out. 0.98

01:25:19.600 It's your home. If it's your place, 0.99

01:25:22.060 you should be able to do whatever you want in your place.

01:25:24.180 Now, listen, if she goes, no, I'm not interested in that,

01:25:25.960 you have to respect the no, but again, it's

01:25:28.020 no means no. You have to say

01:25:30.240 no. My question is, what's

01:25:32.060 the intent with the dickwhip?

01:25:34.480 How has it ever

01:25:36.000 been effective? Put the cards on the table.

01:25:37.860 No, what? Put the cards on the table.

01:25:40.440 Do you know a good move, Doug?

01:25:42.200 A good move, this is a fun one. If you're hard

01:25:44.120 and it's in your pants, but your shirt is

01:25:46.000 covering it, sometimes you just pull that shirt off.

01:25:47.820 Adjust the shirt. An old school adjust the shirt.

01:25:50.300 Show the fucking pistol, bro. 1.00

01:25:51.420 Just let him know what's hacking, dog. 1.00

01:25:53.280 This is 2010 to 2014 shit. 0.99

01:25:56.600 It's gone now, but all of these things. 0.98

01:25:58.820 And another question, does home ownership also transfer to car ownership? 1.00

01:26:03.680 Shut the fuck up. 0.99

01:26:04.340 No, no, no, no. 1.00

01:26:05.300 Let me finish this thought.

01:26:06.620 No.

01:26:06.900 Because the amount of times I have done the 2000, it doesn't.

01:26:10.260 Definitely not. 0.71

01:26:10.600 The most times I've done the 2014 dick whip has been in life. 0.97

01:26:14.540 Especially if you're driving Uber. 0.81

01:26:16.580 It's more about the jurisdiction.

01:26:21.520 Nice.

01:26:22.120 I see what you're doing.

01:26:22.740 Your home is, it's your home.

01:26:24.320 You can be however you want in your home. 0.58

01:26:26.040 Like, a girl can't get upset if you're walking around in your underwear in your home. 1.00

01:26:30.080 Yeah, but what about when the underwear comes off, though?

01:26:32.420 The underwear comes off, she's like, listen, I don't, I'm not into that kind of thing.

01:26:35.100 Oh, absolutely.

01:26:36.160 I'm so sorry.

01:26:36.680 Listen, I'm tired.

01:26:37.580 I'm going to go to sleep. 0.92

01:26:38.200 Do you make the same sound that you make when you almost hit another white person in the grocery store? 0.96

01:26:41.960 which is 0.96

01:26:42.420 oh

01:26:42.680 oh

01:26:43.220 oh

01:26:43.600 I am so sorry

01:26:47.400 and they're

01:26:49.100 I didn't see you there

01:26:50.440 it's like O-P-E 1.00

01:26:52.240 oh 1.00

01:26:52.880 sorry

01:26:54.580 alright

01:26:55.680 yeah where can they find

01:26:57.420 your comedy special

01:26:58.300 bro all my

01:26:59.280 stand up everything

01:27:00.120 on YouTube

01:27:00.740 YouTube.com

01:27:01.500 slash the Andrew Schultz

01:27:02.240 just type in Andrew Schultz

01:27:03.200 we got hours of stuff out there

01:27:04.400 and you can find all that there

01:27:06.280 alright cool

01:27:06.860 and Instagram

01:27:07.600 Andrew Schultz

01:27:08.940 S-C-H-U-L-Z

01:27:09.880 in both of them

01:27:10.700 same with Twitter

01:27:11.300 alright cool

01:27:11.940 I want to do audio only right now

01:27:14.220 It's this but audio only

01:27:15.140 We're going to have some more fun with Andrew

01:27:16.200 Spotify and iTunes

01:27:17.340 Check us out there

01:27:18.520 Thank you guys for listening to Impulsive

01:27:19.980 The number one podcast in the world

01:27:21.280 Hit that subscribe button

01:27:22.440 We'll see you next time

01:27:23.540 Peace

01:27:24.260 Yo this was a wild one

01:27:26.660 Thank you guys

01:27:27.180 That was fun

01:27:28.060 No we got audio now

01:27:28.900 I got bad news though

01:27:29.700 Stay with us

01:27:30.060 We're still going bro

01:27:31.000 Just no cameras now

01:27:32.620 So uh

01:27:33.300 Stay close to the mic 0.99

01:27:34.760 But you can just make dumb faith 0.98

01:27:36.100 We are going right now 0.99

01:27:36.840 Can I shoot one text or

01:27:38.280 Yeah of course

01:27:38.840 Go for it

01:27:39.240 I'm sure we could hold a conversation

01:27:40.760 Only if you tell us who you're texting.

01:27:42.720 I thought Joe Rogan, dude.

01:27:44.120 I was looking over your shoulder. 1.00

01:27:45.320 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:27:46.540 He's like, they're not that good, man. 1.00

01:27:48.000 Don't worry.

01:27:51.340 No, I think Joe said you were good.

01:27:54.440 No, no, no. 1.00

01:27:55.180 Civilian. 1.00

01:27:55.860 Define the business. 1.00

01:27:57.140 I thought those were my girls.

01:27:57.920 Are you talking about boxing? 0.99

01:27:58.720 Yeah, I think Joe said you were good.

01:28:00.020 I remember them saying that he thought you were good.

01:28:02.660 I ran into him outside of the Laugh Factory.

01:28:08.380 I remember.

01:28:08.800 And he came up to me.

01:28:10.040 He said, man, a lot of people yelled at me because I said you were a good fighter.

01:28:14.960 A lot of people were mad at me about that.

01:28:16.580 I'm like, bro, if my name comes out of your mouth, people are going to be mad at you.

01:28:19.260 Like, that's just how it works.

01:28:20.900 But yeah.

01:28:21.660 Yeah.

01:28:22.340 You know what would be a power move is having him announce the fight. 0.97

01:28:25.340 I would legitimately give the remaining 85% of my right testicle to make that happen. 0.96

01:28:30.320 I would. 0.99

01:28:30.680 I would.

01:28:30.980 I would.

01:28:31.060 I would.

01:28:31.100 I would.

01:28:31.160 I would.

01:28:31.180 I would.

01:28:31.260 I would.

01:28:31.720 85% left.

01:28:32.440 85% left.

01:28:33.460 Yeah.

01:28:33.580 Gone.

01:28:33.920 I don't need it.

01:28:34.480 He's missing 15.

01:28:35.540 Of what?

01:28:36.040 Gone. 1.00

01:28:36.320 It's a testicle. 1.00

01:28:36.720 Wait, you got 15% of your testicle taken from the splitting things? 1.00

01:28:40.380 No, no, no. 0.99

01:28:41.040 From a chair.

01:28:41.900 Close.

01:28:42.280 Yeah, sort of.

01:28:43.380 I did the splits.

01:28:44.760 I jumped off the table and was in the split position and landed on a chair.

01:28:48.780 Very happenstance.

01:28:49.860 The backseat of a chair.

01:28:51.400 That's horrible.

01:28:52.680 You didn't see that when you jumped?

01:28:54.640 You have it on film, don't you?

01:28:56.060 I do, but you can't tell.

01:28:57.340 This was a time when I didn't understand physics as much as I do not.

01:29:02.020 Like simple physics.

01:29:03.020 And by the way, I had this conversation with my dad. 0.99

01:29:05.660 I'm going to teach my fucking kids about physics so they know before they go running down a 0.99

01:29:11.100 cement driveway and it's just rained outside, it's going to be slippery. 1.00

01:29:15.480 All this, I was never taught this.

01:29:17.780 And so the table had one, it was one post in the middle of a circular table.

01:29:22.140 So when I jumped, the Bugs Bunny thing happened.

01:29:24.280 And it wobbled.

01:29:24.840 Yeah.

01:29:25.580 Yeah.

01:29:26.060 So you didn't go as far as you want to go. 1.00

01:29:28.240 And they cut off a piece of your testicle? 1.00

01:29:30.480 Took it off. 0.99

01:29:30.960 It was a three inch hematoma.

01:29:32.340 Three inch hematoma.

01:29:33.040 So they removed it.

01:29:33.720 It was dead.

01:29:34.240 I'm sorry. 0.98

01:29:34.560 I thought the testicles are kind of like an egg where it's just water in the middle. 0.98

01:29:39.260 No, no, no, no, no. 0.98

01:29:40.820 They're tubes, little tiny tubes that make up the testicle. 0.99

01:29:44.260 And you can just shave off 15%. 0.99

01:29:46.580 Oh, wow.

01:29:47.320 Wait, but were we talking about the vas deferens?

01:29:49.600 Vas deferens, correctly, yes. 0.99

01:29:51.360 I think the vas deferens make up the testicle. 0.99

01:29:54.000 I'm looking at testicle makeup. 0.99

01:29:55.360 Your background in medical science is starting to show, Andrew.

01:29:57.700 That's why you got to trust me about these animals.

01:30:00.300 what percent what percent can you lose before it's not producing that's the thing bro you could

01:30:06.620 probably be at five to ten before you're still yeah so it's like a liver here check it out 0.98

01:30:10.420 you only need one yeah tom green yeah yeah yeah so testicle yeah see see this is collecting two 0.71

01:30:16.220 tubules is it is it true you need okay this makes sense wow okay and then so you had a few of those 0.98

01:30:22.520 yeah and they just shaved shaved right off but it's okay because the other ones are going to

01:30:26.400 and it's still producing. Yeah, correct. Yeah, both of them are.

01:30:28.800 I like how the guy doing this vector image

01:30:30.720 made the ball sack wavy.

01:30:32.420 He wrinkled it?

01:30:34.420 Yeah, he wrinkled it. He's like, I gotta make this

01:30:36.580 realistic. 1.00

01:30:39.180 Damn. Wow. 1.00

01:30:40.960 We're just looking at dicks 0.99

01:30:42.540 now at this point. I thought the conversation 0.99

01:30:44.500 ended. This could be the

01:30:46.620 thickest dick sandwich ever. 0.99

01:30:48.380 It's got visuals. 1.00

01:30:49.980 Yeah, that happened, man. You ever have any

01:30:51.920 traumatic injuries like that? 0.99

01:30:54.040 The testicles? 0.99

01:30:55.040 I don't know. 0.99

01:30:55.940 Just talk about injuries in general.

01:30:57.560 I mean, I've had a couple of concussions.

01:30:59.500 You play sports?

01:31:00.340 Yeah.

01:31:01.920 I had a couple of concussions, but nothing that crazy, man.

01:31:05.260 No.

01:31:06.040 It must be nice.

01:31:07.100 Yeah.

01:31:07.600 Yeah.

01:31:07.880 Sorry, buddy.

01:31:08.740 No, that's cool.

01:31:09.220 Sorry you had to go through that.

01:31:09.720 No, that's fine.

01:31:10.460 You can't tell.

01:31:11.660 Yeah.

01:31:12.120 I couldn't.

01:31:13.680 I didn't know until you told me right now.

01:31:15.780 I knew immediately.

01:31:17.680 I met him first time.

01:31:18.940 No, first time I met him.

01:31:20.040 I saw his biceps.

01:31:20.900 This kid's down 15%.

01:31:22.180 Yeah.

01:31:22.380 It's like a Dow Jones.

01:31:28.080 That's cool.

01:31:28.680 That's cool, guys.

01:31:29.540 I'm glad you think this is running back.

01:31:32.320 What's that?

01:31:33.520 What?

01:31:34.060 Oh, we have a segment called Facts with Spencer.

01:31:36.300 It's the best, dude.

01:31:36.860 It's the best.

01:31:37.360 Spencer said he totally forgot.

01:31:38.780 He has a lot of facts.

01:31:39.740 Yeah, I got some good ones.

01:31:40.840 I can't wait for this one.

01:31:41.560 Why don't you just give us the good stuff, huh? 0.97

01:31:42.860 What's the Ariana Grande thing? 1.00

01:31:44.200 Yeah, so we got Ariana Grande is suing Forever 21 over lookalike model in ads.

01:31:50.020 $10 million she's suing him.

01:31:52.780 Okay.

01:31:53.240 Okay, I want you guys to look at this image, though,

01:31:55.280 because that's the lookalike right there, bro. 1.00

01:31:58.640 But Ariana Grande doesn't even look like herself. 1.00

01:32:02.480 $10 million. 1.00

01:32:03.220 She's trying to get a $10 million bag off that.

01:32:04.680 Do you understand what I'm saying? 1.00

01:32:05.460 She's makeup and tanning and fake eyelashes and all these things,

01:32:09.080 so it's like, how can you claim an image?

01:32:11.280 It's like when LeBron was like,

01:32:12.580 Taco Tuesday is my...

01:32:15.060 I'm going to trademark Taco Tuesday. 1.00

01:32:16.480 It's like, are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00

01:32:18.400 You've got to be out of your fucking mind. 1.00

01:32:20.020 You can trademark Paco Tuesday. 1.00

01:32:21.920 I said the same thing.

01:32:22.720 I was like, this doesn't make any sense.

01:32:24.360 That was weird.

01:32:25.400 And that's a great point. 0.99

01:32:26.840 What does Ariana Grande look like? 0.99

01:32:29.140 We don't know. 0.97

01:32:29.720 We don't know.

01:32:30.620 How can you sue over that? 1.00

01:32:32.380 She's probably really pretty. 0.97

01:32:33.460 She's very childlike to me.

01:32:35.360 I find it weird.

01:32:36.320 I find it a little pedophilic.

01:32:37.860 Like if guys are into it.

01:32:39.600 Because I know she's over 20 or whatever.

01:32:42.500 But she looks like she's 15. 0.59

01:32:44.180 14.

01:32:44.800 14.

01:32:45.300 So it's like, I can't.

01:32:47.640 It is weird.

01:32:48.240 It's weird, right?

01:32:49.040 Yeah, it is. 1.00

01:32:49.600 it's fucking weird the long ponytail and shit 10 mil on that 10 mil she's going for a 10 mil bag 1.00

01:32:55.700 nah dude god knows she needs it right bullshit and he's in forever 21 bankrupt too all of them 1.00

01:33:01.120 are bankrupt oh that's shady wow just let him have it yeah she's just well they're going down 0.99

01:33:05.620 ship is sinking might as well loot it yeah uh walmart walmart curbs ammunition sales saw that

01:33:12.080 calls for stronger background checks so uh yeah they're they're no longer selling uh

01:33:18.380 handgun ammunition and you can't bring your weapon into walmart anymore what's your guys

01:33:23.560 thinking on on the gun stuff who's going that's a deep one we're pretty we're pretty we're pretty

01:33:30.320 aligned on it i i think i'll speak for myself i'm i'm cool with people owning guns i think i think

01:33:37.880 in short i don't think there needs to be as much heavy riflery right i don't think there needs to

01:33:43.000 be extendo clips right and i think there needs to be a little bit more background and mental

01:33:48.860 health checking like for example the the one thing that always fucked with me the most was

01:33:52.520 the guy this the las vegas shooter yeah was able to purchase like 34 like long range rifles over

01:33:59.960 the course of like six months like to me that seems a little overkill yeah i have started to

01:34:05.980 come around to a little bit a little of it the more guests that we have on the show that's like

01:34:09.600 hey i just want to let you know that well we're all like getting fat and just like telling mexicans 1.00

01:34:14.580 they can't come into our country yeah china's weaponizing like it's about to go down and shit 0.98

01:34:19.720 and so like a part of me is like damn it would be kind of dope to have maybe one ar right but i just 0.99

01:34:26.600 uh like the 32 ars like i'm starting to like yo why the fuck do you need that with the big round 0.91

01:34:31.240 drum on it the china thing is i mean i want to get back to the gun thing i said but the china 0.60

01:34:35.300 things interesting because like do you remember that one child policy china had for a minute

01:34:40.120 yeah so weird we talked about that on this show before yeah what the so for a while it was you

01:34:44.740 only got to have one kid and they were all making sure it was men because you know men were going

01:34:48.980 to be the breadwinners in the household you needed something to like support the family right so they 1.00

01:34:53.000 would just abort the chicks and so there's this whole generation of chinese kids that were born 1.00

01:34:58.880 male and don't have any women to fuck right is there any country more ready for war than a 1.00

01:35:08.420 country that has an entire generation of men who won't have a woman to start a family with damn 1.00

01:35:14.740 or or by the way to have sex with at all to have to get that off your mind yeah just blow some 1.00

01:35:19.760 steam off yes so like if they're thinking that far ahead with shit they're like oh we're about 0.99

01:35:24.480 to go to war all right just make sure there's a bunch of guys ready to risk it all because they 0.94

01:35:27.360 got nothing to lose done i mean they've done yeah they've been on that now who knows if that's there

01:35:31.180 i'm just saying it throws it out how many how many of them are there they have the largest

01:35:34.880 standing army in the world they have the largest standing army we don't know if that's how many

01:35:38.880 no no it's i mean is it the large china is the largest yeah but you don't think a few of them

01:35:43.300 could have been counted twice that that's why i feel like it's it's hard to like say that they're 0.63

01:35:47.320 the exact same one fuck do you know what i'm saying if they're like we got two billion it's 0.89

01:35:51.840 like you sure you know what i mean you got four last names you know what i mean you could confuse 0.99

01:35:56.280 a few people they could have like 50 million people really they could that's a total possibility 0.93

01:36:00.680 that they got 50 million so it is what it is but the gun shit is weird because like if you look 0.98

01:36:06.160 anywhere that did there's no country that has freedom of speech and doesn't have guns 0.98

01:36:14.640 like we're the only one that has freedom of speech even canada does not have freedom of

01:36:21.500 speech has freedom of expression right in england you get arrested for a tweet

01:36:25.080 right so it's like there is a correlation people like to act like there's not but there is a 0.96

01:36:30.340 correlation between getting to say whatever fuck you want and owning a gun i don't know what that 0.97

01:36:36.340 is the constitution in general we have a constitution that we have a country that is 0.99

01:36:40.280 built upon a document that if you challenge you will be bodied bodied let's go okay like people 0.98

01:36:50.620 are not and it's literally like like you're like yeah but this was made for muskets and people are 0.94

01:36:55.460 like listen here's how much more musket talk i'm willing to fucking hear from you do you want me 0.98

01:36:59.140 to smack the shit out of you or should i go get my ar like literally like it's people are willing 0.99

01:37:04.020 to fucking die for and by the way and by the way that's been great for a long time 0.99

01:37:13.640 that's all the musket talk i'm willing to fucking hear from you just loading that banana clip 1.00

01:37:19.820 keep going yeah fucking drum with 900 fucking bullets in it all right all right i got a good 1.00

01:37:26.040 one guys this is this is big news teenage boy goes blind after existing on pringles white bread 1.00

01:37:32.600 and french fries what yeah yeah yeah yeah young and dude what blind yeah so he first visited a

01:37:41.580 doctor at age 14 complaining of tiredness um yeah so this is from a uh doctor report so dude he's

01:37:51.260 blind because he ate pringles white bread and what yeah and uh french fries sounds like it

01:37:56.100 might have been doctors a lot of starch a lot of starch and so yeah he occasionally had uh

01:38:00.560 processed meat um and sausage as well never ate anything else all right but come on let's 0.79

01:38:07.600 fucking be honest dude listen to the things you just named yeah like i thought he was on a i thought 0.96

01:38:11.680 he was on like a diet where he only ate like a cup like you just named the worst things of life 0.99

01:38:16.980 what were they again uh we got pringles yeah yeah processed meat how does it make you blind though

01:38:23.740 that's what's kind of crazy i know the side effects yeah it's interesting we sure this isn't

01:38:28.160 like some sort of genetic oh no how did they say no he was good he was gucci man and then he just

01:38:33.620 walked in at 17 he's blind oh is it potentially that exact concoction if you because because 0.90

01:38:40.160 by the way if so sue the fuck out of pringles oh yeah yeah i mean can you though if they make you

01:38:46.640 blind i mean but if that's all you eat but i agree because if you if there's no side effect 0.97

01:38:52.120 that tells me pringles are gonna make me blind i'm suing them because if all you ate was broccoli

01:38:55.600 you'd probably be chilling right probably but that's another conversation that comes up all

01:38:59.580 the time too about the difference between personal responsibility and brand responsibility and telling

01:39:03.260 you about side effects it's like like they'll put out a new pill and they'll be like i don't

01:39:08.320 think we're gonna have to say that this makes people's feet fall off because right and then

01:39:13.420 somebody gets it and they're like honey it says take two but i'm gonna take 40 tonight is that

01:39:17.700 cool and honey's like yeah sure go for it jimmy he takes 40 and they're like honey my feet fell

01:39:23.140 off but the brand never said it so they sue him but you're it's not the brand's fault you're just 1.00

01:39:27.360 a fucking moron he probably could potentially get a bag out of it but did you see that uh george 1.00

01:39:33.980 janko actually posted this on his story he was at dq and they had a sign on the register saying 1.00

01:39:39.940 uh you know by law you know we have to state that some of the products on the menu cause cancer

01:39:46.380 wait of course like they had a big ass sign on it wait what doesn't cause cancer that's your first

01:39:52.240 time see bro when you walk through any hall there are hallways in the california that you walk 0.77

01:39:56.440 through and it says this hallway causes cancer but it gets to the point where where it's interesting

01:40:01.080 because our food is doing that you know it used to be like cigarettes and it used to be all this

01:40:05.400 stuff it's like what are they putting in this food bro it's a treat yeah it's crazy you ever go to

01:40:09.660 europe and just like eat everything that you would normally eat here you're chilling you'll just lose 0.94

01:40:14.060 weight it's the weirdest it's just like what the fuck are we eating like i cut out bread and and 0.91

01:40:19.720 and refined sugar after being in europe i was on europe uh i was in tour in europe for whatever 0.99

01:40:25.380 that sentence is for two weeks and i was eating like shit smoking drinking i felt fucking amazing 0.96

01:40:30.060 and i came back i was like what is going like what's the deal and dude it's the food yeah it's 0.98

01:40:35.120 just you just can't now listen i don't blame them for doing this you got 300 million people to feed

01:40:39.840 it's a lot of people bro you got to figure out how to do it it's a giant cafeteria it's a giant

01:40:44.520 cafeteria chicken patties that's it the rich people are gonna eat the organic nice stuff and

01:40:49.840 then the poor people are gonna have to eat yeah i'm at arowana every day it's like i feel spoiled

01:40:54.540 Erewhon?

01:40:55.120 What's Erewhon?

01:40:56.280 What?

01:40:56.800 I brought it up earlier.

01:40:57.600 He's from New York.

01:40:58.400 You're going to fall in love, dude.

01:40:59.360 You're going to fall in love.

01:41:00.280 It's like a cracked out Whole Foods, bro.

01:41:02.480 Yeah.

01:41:03.020 It's a grocery store?

01:41:04.460 Yeah.

01:41:05.000 It's like 10 steps above Whole Foods.

01:41:07.340 Okay.

01:41:08.100 Like if you're balling, you're there.

01:41:09.480 They don't even consider it a grocery store.

01:41:10.920 It's a grocer. 0.99

01:41:12.360 Oh, they're not fucking around. 0.99

01:41:15.340 But it's a proprietorship. 0.98

01:41:16.540 It's nowhere spelled backwards.

01:41:17.760 Can I eat animals there?

01:41:19.440 Or it's just-

01:41:20.060 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:21.240 And by the way-

01:41:22.020 Oh, it's like the highest quality-

01:41:23.360 It's a budget thing to me.

01:41:25.160 That's the thing, though. 0.89

01:41:26.060 You want to find a girl?

01:41:26.740 See, this is my thing, man.

01:41:27.740 That's the spot.

01:41:28.380 It is.

01:41:28.920 It is.

01:41:29.300 It's a good spot.

01:41:29.960 But that's my thing. 0.97

01:41:30.940 It's like I'd rather spend the $20 a meal now than like $40,000 on a hospital bill replacing my left testicle. 0.76

01:41:39.200 You got insurance. 0.93

01:41:39.960 You know what I'm saying?

01:41:40.520 He's not wrong.

01:41:41.760 It's an investment.

01:41:42.760 Yeah, put in that money, bro.

01:41:43.640 It's an investment.

01:41:44.080 I put that premium fuel in the tank, dog.

01:41:45.760 Facts.

01:41:46.280 My car's still running.

01:41:47.380 That 2006 Buick's kicking, dog.

01:41:48.760 I would say synthetic oil as opposed to premium fuel. 1.00

01:41:51.700 Like you're putting in that good shit. 0.99

01:41:52.980 yeah yeah do you have any other facts uh i can last one apple patents watch band that could id 1.00

01:42:02.640 uh you from your wrist so it from your skin it can read your skin and say yo this is you this 0.99

01:42:09.720 is if anybody tries to steal your shit yeah it's not gonna work yeah like those guns that only you 0.99

01:42:13.960 can shoot oh oh i dig that yeah it's interesting that's an interesting tie-in to the gun conversation 0.99

01:42:21.020 the electronic because this yeah this is this technology is coming out question for you how 0.98

01:42:24.820 often do you have to recheck in because my question is you're you're a veteran porn star

01:42:30.640 and you get it and you get it fixed on your wrist and it gets to know your skin but then as we know 1.00

01:42:36.000 you turn into a lizard turn into a fucking guy become a reptile and then full fucking circle 0.98

01:42:40.820 really um all right i have to go i have to go try to sell my cool bus you see that bus right there 1.00

01:42:44.940 yeah i have a lady that might want to know some people might know some people that might want to

01:42:48.700 buy it how much uh i'm asking for a hundred thousand dollars for the bus easy you seen the

01:42:54.280 inside no you gotta show me i mean it's a cool bus west coast customs cool bus bro yeah it is 0.97

01:42:59.300 decked out um but yeah yeah legally you can whip your dick out in it too truth yeah that's what 0.73

01:43:04.740 that's like 20k more on the price point and the sign of the door andrew thanks again for coming 0.99

01:43:10.740 on bro sure man thanks for having me yeah of course we'll see you next time take it easy

01:43:18.700 We'll see you next time.

01:43:48.700 news. Good taste is my business. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

01:43:54.640 you get your podcasts. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin. And we're the hosts of Out of Character,

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01:44:22.240 So listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app

01:44:25.240 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts

01:44:44.920 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:44:47.640 Does the Pope dress up?

01:44:48.880 He winks on Halloween.

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01:44:52.880 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:44:56.000 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:45:01.320 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

01:45:05.820 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:45:08.800 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

01:45:14.060 the true crime comedy podcast

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01:45:20.180 guest. Ooh, I scammed them.

01:45:21.920 What? I could talk to you for an hour.

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01:45:25.940 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

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01:45:36.320 Scam Goddess!

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - September 04, 2019

E119 ANDREW SCHULZ WANTS ALL ANIMALS DEAD - IMPAULSIVE EP. 119

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