Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E130 TIM DILLON IS FUNNY - IMPAULSIVE EP. 130

00:00:00.260 Breaking story from Alpine News Network.

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00:00:30.520 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:33.060 We have a new podcast.

00:00:34.480 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

00:00:35.860 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

00:00:37.020 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

00:00:40.980 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

00:00:43.160 which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:45.600 occasionally different opinions.

00:00:47.020 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

00:00:49.840 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

00:00:52.720 Good Taste is my business.

00:00:54.920 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:00:57.800 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:00.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

00:01:09.760 The Improvised Character Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

00:01:15.600 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

00:01:18.680 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

00:01:20.900 Does the Pope dress up?

00:01:22.240 He winks on Halloween.

00:01:24.500 He gets right up next to the microphone.

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00:01:34.660 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:42.140 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

00:01:47.800 the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

00:01:52.180 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

00:01:54.080 Ooh, I scammed them.

00:01:55.260 What?

00:01:55.720 I could talk to you for an hour.

00:01:57.120 You're a generational yapper, like me.

00:01:59.140 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

00:02:01.280 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

00:02:04.520 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:02:10.480 Scam Goddess!

00:02:12.340 You want to get away with everything?

00:02:13.600 Just some, just enough. 1.00

00:02:15.100 Full-body burka in a wheelchair. 0.99

00:02:17.440 Full-body burka in a wheelchair, and then literally you could scream the N-word into a microphone, and it's going to be okay.

00:02:23.860 Do you want to get away with everything? 1.00

00:02:25.280 Yes. 1.00

00:02:25.460 Full-body burka in a wheelchair, wheel up, wheel up in a burka. 0.99

00:02:29.140 and grab the mic and just let it rip. 0.96

00:02:38.580 Bro, I'm cold.

00:02:40.060 Well, warm yourself up.

00:02:41.100 We got to do the World's Number One podcast.

00:02:43.100 I'm trying.

00:02:43.560 I just got done practice, and I'm in the ice bath,

00:02:46.620 and if you stay in there a long time,

00:02:48.400 the coldness seeps into your bone marrow,

00:02:50.280 and now I'm shivering. 0.99

00:02:51.760 Do you think people can tell that we're out of our fucking minds right now? 0.99

00:02:54.620 I don't know. 0.99

00:02:54.820 Look at my hair. 1.00

00:02:56.300 It's a fucking disaster. 0.99

00:02:58.500 Hey, welcome back to Impulsive, the number one podcast in the world. 1.00

00:03:02.240 You're hot.

00:03:03.280 Thanks.

00:03:03.740 Thanks.

00:03:04.060 If you're not subscribed, make sure to hit that subscribe button.

00:03:06.480 We love you guys.

00:03:07.380 This is a great podcast.

00:03:08.380 Great show, huh?

00:03:09.240 Try it.

00:03:11.120 The UK press conference was confirmed.

00:03:13.880 That's cool.

00:03:14.920 Shout out Eddie Hearn, Matching Boxing.

00:03:18.220 Sky Sports is where it's going to be available to watch in the UK.

00:03:22.440 So shout out Sky Sports for making that happen.

00:03:24.760 I'm excited, man.

00:03:25.560 even though last year we did almost die via paint cans.

00:03:31.300 If you remember, full paint cans were thrown at us

00:03:34.760 at the U.K. press conference.

00:03:36.000 My dad got punched in the face.

00:03:38.540 Did he deserve it?

00:03:40.200 That's up for debate.

00:03:41.540 They told us last year that the only people

00:03:43.680 that are allowed to carry guns in the U.K.

00:03:45.600 are the Royal Guard, so...

00:03:47.520 Getting the Royal Guard. 1.00

00:03:48.440 We're getting the fucking Royal Guard. 0.99

00:03:49.640 We've got the guys with the big hats, 1.00

00:03:51.240 the little thing that goes on in the swords and shit. 0.99

00:03:53.600 They won't. 1.00

00:03:54.400 They cannot be shaken. 1.00

00:03:55.560 You will get a bayonet to the heart if you fuck with us. 1.00

00:03:59.720 If you throw a paint can at us, you'll get stabbed in the chest. 1.00

00:04:03.900 That's going to be fun. 0.97

00:04:04.820 Details to come on that.

00:04:06.580 Speaking of boxing, besides my fight coming up on November 9th,

00:04:10.900 we had our YouTube fight this weekend.

00:04:13.200 Our friend Fousey fight.

00:04:14.940 Fousey tube?

00:04:17.160 Well, he didn't fight.

00:04:18.400 He kind of just got beat up.

00:04:21.840 But he had a fight.

00:04:23.300 It was tough to watch.

00:04:24.600 it was tough to watch it was tricky man um we made those that instagram story of us just looking

00:04:30.020 utterly devastated and he followed up with me after and he said i let i know i let you guys

00:04:35.280 down and i said foozy you didn't let us down you know you tried your best you gave it a shot and 0.96

00:04:40.620 unfortunately that guy slim whoever the fuck he is dude just brought the pain he did man yeah it 0.77

00:04:47.460 was uh i just felt i felt bad i mean i kind of addressed this a little bit on jake and logan i 0.97

00:04:52.360 if you guys watch that if you're not go subscribe to that channel for sure but uh it boxing is such

00:04:58.500 a dangerous sport and footsie was fighting with his hands down for too long and taking too many

00:05:02.200 headshots i don't know if you've seen a a picture of this guy i actually want to want to pull it up

00:05:06.280 he was just he was just gassed you know what i'm saying oh can you look that up yeah i can i can

00:05:11.520 aaron carter oh god this see this ain't good none of this is good boxing's a dangerous sport and if

00:05:19.580 you're fighting with your hands down you don't know how to fight with your hands down

00:05:22.260 your head is just a target um i mean his nose looks like it's broken his his eyes swollen shut

00:05:28.960 do you think it was a technique thing or do you think it was just because he was so

00:05:32.400 gassed you know what i'm saying like he just it's a technique thing yeah but he couldn't even he

00:05:36.340 couldn't even hold his hands up like he probably trained with his hands up but by round two he was

00:05:40.420 in the first 30 seconds he was already hands down you you heard me say i go fuji's gonna lose this

00:05:45.960 fight you can tell boxing is so technical i've said this before i've learned this coming from

00:05:50.660 athletic background and trying to like substitute my athleticism for boxing technique which is what

00:05:58.520 i did uh last year like looking back at the first fight with ksi and the videos we made uh pre-fight

00:06:06.460 i was wondering why i was so confident in my ability and it was because i was an athlete

00:06:12.220 yeah but i quickly learned that doesn't fucking matter doesn't at all at all no no way there's no

00:06:18.820 Translation between being an athlete 0.58

00:06:21.540 And being a boxer

00:06:22.340 So what's different this year?

00:06:24.360 I've had a year and a half to two years of boxing training

00:06:27.420 Where my athleticism can now be applied

00:06:29.780 Because the technique is there

00:06:31.840 Are you even more confident this year

00:06:33.620 Than you were last year?

00:06:35.040 I was confident last year

00:06:36.480 Just because I tend to be naturally good at things

00:06:38.780 But this year

00:06:39.760 I'm not going to be overconfident 0.93

00:06:42.420 But yeah, I'm extremely fucking confident 0.73

00:06:44.620 And last year at the UK press conference

00:06:46.720 If y'all remember

00:06:48.180 I walked in.

00:06:48.860 I was kind of just, like, sad.

00:06:50.600 It looked like I was going to cry the whole time.

00:06:52.160 I just didn't want to be there. 0.99

00:06:53.340 But this year, yo, I want this fucking smoke, dog. 0.99

00:06:56.900 Like, yay! 0.99

00:06:59.620 We're in and out.

00:07:00.720 We're showing up. 1.00

00:07:01.460 National Guard off the fucking plane. 1.00

00:07:02.760 Look out! 1.00

00:07:03.580 Rolling through with 100 fucking goons, bro, and just showing up. 1.00

00:07:06.960 We're going to be there for, I think, like 20 hours. 1.00

00:07:08.480 That's it.

00:07:08.920 That's it.

00:07:09.640 And then back to the United States until the fight on November 9th.

00:07:13.260 Get your tickets.

00:07:14.540 Staples Center.

00:07:15.620 So what's next for FouseyTube?

00:07:16.920 I talked to him at length.

00:07:18.480 By the way, I'm going to bring him on my show, The Night Shift, in the next week once his face heals up to kind of talk about it. 1.00

00:07:23.380 But I said to him, bro, just like, you know, he's been through how much trial and tribulation, so much shit, bro. 0.97

00:07:30.060 And a lot of things that he's tried haven't worked out. 0.97

00:07:32.000 But it's just kind of like an indicator or an example of, like, success.

00:07:37.460 Like, it's never easy.

00:07:38.480 You have to try a million things.

00:07:39.740 You have to do a million things.

00:07:40.740 I mean, he's taken some harder punches, no pun intended, than other people.

00:07:44.860 but you're right i'm still trying to warm up i am so cold if you've ever sat in an ice bath

00:07:50.900 it it literally just seeps in your skin and normally i have the warm shower to warm me up

00:07:57.120 but the guest is here so we just had to come straight to set but to answer your question

00:08:00.360 yeah foosie's been through a lot man so one thing about the kid that we do know we know he's a

00:08:04.800 fighter like literally he's a champion and he's not going to stop just because he took the l

00:08:08.400 So we'll see

00:08:09.400 Speaking of taking L's 0.99

00:08:10.820 You avoided one

00:08:12.480 With the Aaron Carter chain

00:08:14.480 It seems

00:08:15.500 I actually want to talk about this

00:08:16.860 With our guest dude

00:08:17.620 Oh yeah let's talk about it 0.99

00:08:18.660 With the fucking guest then 1.00

00:08:19.540 Hey let's bring him on 1.00

00:08:20.420 This guy's great

00:08:21.180 This guy's great

00:08:22.220 Our guest today is someone

00:08:22.960 You'll be glad to be introduced to

00:08:24.340 If this is your first time

00:08:25.240 Hearing of him

00:08:25.880 He's a comedian

00:08:26.720 Touring the country

00:08:27.440 And torching everything

00:08:28.440 In his path

00:08:29.280 He's been on Comedy Central

00:08:30.280 And has his own podcast

00:08:31.760 The Tim Dillon Show

00:08:33.080 You guessed it

00:08:33.800 It's Tim Dillon

00:08:34.900 Thank you guys

00:08:36.440 Thank you

00:08:37.580 Thanks so much.

00:08:38.480 Good to be here.

00:08:39.280 What's up, brother?

00:08:40.020 Everybody's training.

00:08:40.940 I feel right at home.

00:08:42.340 Look out!

00:08:43.180 It's exciting.

00:08:44.940 There's a training squad in the kitchen.

00:08:47.100 I was like, this is insane.

00:08:49.360 What do you think about that?

00:08:50.300 What do you think about a training squad?

00:08:51.500 You wake up in the morning.

00:08:52.740 You open your eyes.

00:08:53.440 You're ready for a peaceful morning.

00:08:54.460 The first thing you hear is, let's go, champ.

00:08:56.120 People are punching each other.

00:08:57.380 I think that's good.

00:08:58.140 I mean, that's what you need, right?

00:09:00.040 I mean, he's going to fight somebody in an arena.

00:09:03.000 You know, I've offered on the undercard to fight Chelsea Handler.

00:09:05.640 uh if she will agree to that you know that i will begin to train for that that's not a gimme 0.53

00:09:10.760 that's not you know that girl not a gimme at all she bites she does bite i know that uh but yeah

00:09:16.840 it looks i mean it seems like you're doing everything you can to win so you're gonna

00:09:20.300 either murder or what you know whatever it's in god's hands yeah yeah yeah you're you know you're

00:09:25.540 absolutely right my my logic was uh why would i not do everything i possibly can and allocate

00:09:30.000 every single resource i can to win this fight and that's that's what we're doing and i got a

00:09:34.820 question for you yeah first i want to address how we met um yeah theo von's podcast yes i came on

00:09:40.920 he had us as the guests yes we were the guests and and man you're fucking hilarious we had a good

00:09:45.980 time we had a lot of fun yeah we had a lot of fun and then we saw that thing after the show yeah 0.63

00:09:51.260 well there was a lot a lot of people got angry not a lot of people but there's like a contingent

00:09:56.700 of people that were like why would you go on a podcast with logan paul i can't believe it i'm

00:10:03.060 morally offended or whatever it is.

00:10:04.720 And I'm like, and a lot of them just hate you

00:10:06.620 because you're like a young, rich kid.

00:10:07.920 They don't care what you did in the forest.

00:10:09.660 No one cares.

00:10:10.460 None of my fans care.

00:10:11.460 By the way, you called it the suicide farm.

00:10:13.720 Yeah, well, whatever it is. 0.99

00:10:14.920 Which to me was fine.

00:10:15.800 I didn't know what it was.

00:10:16.860 I'm not even up on it.

00:10:17.840 I'm like, I didn't know what it was.

00:10:20.220 I didn't know what he did.

00:10:23.320 But none of my fans care about that.

00:10:25.200 They just, you know, they're like,

00:10:26.160 ah, he's rich, you know, and we don't like him.

00:10:29.700 So, yeah, and Theo's people were getting mad

00:10:31.960 and it's like, grow up. 0.97

00:10:33.060 i get it here's why i get it because like i did have a phase where i was just oh fuck like i was 0.97

00:10:38.660 just obnoxious you know like like me what i've said this before me watching my 22 year old self 0.92

00:10:43.900 i yeah i i'm like yo i i don't like i don't like that kid on the on the screen that i'm watching

00:10:48.280 like i i don't understand how that kid got famous yeah yeah yeah so i get it uh but it's it's

00:10:53.260 interesting i always find it interesting how people aren't able to separate internet persona

00:10:56.740 from real life persona like you know it's a character it's a kid and i'm sure when you're

00:11:02.320 on when you're on stage and you're doing stand-up comedy it's not a hundred percent

00:11:06.340 exaggerated version of what you are in in real life he didn't really get he never used to give

00:11:12.680 people much though like he had this this vlog personality and then there was nothing else to go

00:11:17.560 by the podcast has humanized him a lot because you can sit here and watch how he really is like

00:11:21.760 with all the all the good morning logang what's popping there's a boxing documentary here that's

00:11:26.200 so great there's like 40 can you can you show nine cameras here rolling at the same time wait

00:11:30.700 Is this DAZN?

00:11:32.020 This is 40 days from DAZN, yeah.

00:11:33.900 DAZN production.

00:11:34.700 And I follow you every day until the fight.

00:11:37.640 Yes.

00:11:38.080 Wow.

00:11:38.440 That's awesome.

00:11:39.300 Every day.

00:11:39.780 Two cameras, man.

00:11:40.760 This is the most intense thing I've ever experienced.

00:11:42.860 It's great.

00:11:43.860 When you walk into Rogan, it's just there's one producer and a dog.

00:11:47.100 But when you walk in here, there's like 10 cameras.

00:11:49.720 That's how it usually is.

00:11:50.720 Usually there's one producer and a dog or two.

00:11:52.940 I thought this was your team.

00:11:54.520 I was like, I knew this dude was big. 0.99

00:11:56.320 But I didn't know he was fucking. 0.99

00:11:57.620 This is my team. 0.99

00:11:58.520 This is my team.

00:11:58.540 This is my team.

00:11:58.580 This is my team.

00:11:58.960 They follow me all.

00:11:59.660 they make sure i'm still doing keto and uh it's oh yeah you are doing keto i'm doing keto now man

00:12:05.500 it's just protein and fat and you know it's very masculine diet yeah you think it's think it's

00:12:10.220 working i think it's it's certainly working but is it sustainable i don't know like is it long

00:12:14.600 term can you live without ever having like a car yeah so i look at orange juice like cocaine now

00:12:22.940 like when i see somebody drinking orange juice i do i think about that i'm like what if i just

00:12:28.120 swirled it around in my mouth and spit it out could i do that a little gummer you know how

00:12:33.100 about that it's just not you know you can't imagine this is your life yeah but it's a good

00:12:37.300 reset you know and then you know hopefully in three or four months you can start like

00:12:41.920 oh you're incorporating like yellow brown rice little you know he's uh the cameraman is vegan

00:12:48.380 i was i wanted this guy to be here the vegan ultra marathoner he's doing vegan things yeah i

00:12:53.140 know if there was a guy that i would love it's a vegan who runs marathons just use that's my idea

00:12:57.760 of a fun guy he's the same thing i know but he doesn't have a man bun so when i look at him i

00:13:02.300 don't feel any hate but he gets his eyebrows threaded okay we're getting there we're getting

00:13:07.000 there little by little we can get there spencer is um he's out destroying student debt he's good

00:13:11.940 for him yeah he's taking on how's he doing is he just giving people money uh yeah i think so

00:13:15.940 is that really what he's doing i i don't know bro he's got a bus painted like a shark okay that

00:13:20.960 doesn't seem like it's gonna destroy any debt that seems like it's a way to incur debt to be

00:13:25.380 I'm trying to tell them that.

00:13:27.400 Well, no, I think what it is is because what happens is if you have debt, you write your debt on the side of it.

00:13:34.480 Okay, but I'm still confused.

00:13:37.800 I'm still confused about the link between the shark van and the debt.

00:13:43.280 He says he's going to bring it around to colleges in California.

00:13:46.760 Students are going to write how much debt they have on the side in a Sharpie marker.

00:13:50.440 And then he's going to bring the bus to Washington and show them the bus.

00:13:53.200 And then go into the White House?

00:13:54.580 No, he said, I think he said he's driving it into the treasury.

00:13:58.340 Is that what he said?

00:13:59.140 I don't know. 1.00

00:13:59.520 Actually, shit. 1.00

00:14:00.260 He's going to drive it into the treasury. 1.00

00:14:01.700 Well, that might do something.

00:14:03.000 I didn't know he was that committed.

00:14:04.920 God bless him.

00:14:06.180 Here's what I'll say.

00:14:06.820 I thought it was sort of a stunt, but I had no idea he was going to.

00:14:10.040 Us mere carnivores don't understand the thinkings of someone with such a wise and plant brain.

00:14:15.280 He's trying, you know?

00:14:16.240 It's important.

00:14:16.880 He's got it figured out.

00:14:17.760 I assure you, everyone watching this, Spencer has it figured out.

00:14:20.280 We just don't understand it.

00:14:21.960 Yeah.

00:14:22.320 Hey, you know who Aaron Carter is?

00:14:23.980 Yes.

00:14:24.580 You're a fan of his music.

00:14:26.420 I'm not as familiar.

00:14:27.960 I'm ashamed, deeply ashamed to say I don't know that much of his stuff. 1.00

00:14:35.120 You're an uncultured swine. 1.00

00:14:36.560 I am a real classless pig. 1.00

00:14:39.980 I don't know much of Aaron's stuff. 0.94

00:14:42.980 I know there was one song when I was like a little kid.

00:14:45.340 I want candy.

00:14:45.980 It was something to do with a candy or a party.

00:14:48.440 There was also a party.

00:14:49.900 He was having a party and he wanted candy at the party.

00:14:53.260 I don't know what it was.

00:14:54.100 Is that an original track?

00:14:55.640 Wasn't I Want Candy a 70s song?

00:14:58.280 Is that a remake?

00:14:59.980 I don't know what he was doing, but I'm kind of familiar with that.

00:15:02.820 I don't know what he's done recently.

00:15:05.040 This podcast, actually.

00:15:06.600 Okay.

00:15:07.000 He was on last Friday, and he gave me this chain.

00:15:11.260 Oh, nice.

00:15:12.400 We have no gifts. 0.99

00:15:13.620 Damn it. 0.99

00:15:14.280 We have no gifts. 1.00

00:15:15.180 No, it's fine.

00:15:15.760 I just wanted to tell you this.

00:15:16.720 This is a diamond chain.

00:15:17.300 It's not fine.

00:15:17.980 I have nothing.

00:15:18.960 So he was wearing this, and I had an impulsive chain that was on set.

00:15:22.780 He's like, I'll trade you.

00:15:24.100 So I traded him this.

00:15:25.680 Yeah, and that's fake, right?

00:15:27.140 Well, I mean, you have.

00:15:29.720 That was a bad trade, Logan.

00:15:31.540 Don't you have lawyers to prevent you from doing things like this?

00:15:34.260 No, bro.

00:15:34.740 Isn't there a team?

00:15:35.800 I looked at Andre.

00:15:36.620 That would be me.

00:15:37.340 Yeah.

00:15:38.280 That's right, right.

00:15:39.380 Aaron Carter goes, I got 50 carrots around my neck right now.

00:15:43.020 You want to trade?

00:15:43.720 And I looked at Andre, and Andre's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:47.520 Because he heard carrots, and he's a vegan.

00:15:50.280 He got so excited.

00:15:51.860 Yeah, go for it, man.

00:15:53.240 Carrots?

00:15:53.640 so i did it and then and then we found this someone tweeted us this picture here zoom in here

00:15:57.920 tim you can see this but yes 15 19 that's 15.19 yeah but free shipping on ebay free shipping so

00:16:06.120 now you think that's literally what that is he just that's a 15 you think that so we thought so

00:16:12.020 yeah and then we went down to a high-end beverly hills uh jeweler yeah called persian guy 14 carats

00:16:18.840 i think he's a white dude but we went down there and he checked it out and he came back and the

00:16:23.020 First thing he said is the chain is a cubic zirconium. 0.99

00:16:26.420 And we were like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:16:27.660 Yeah, chain's fake. 1.00

00:16:28.680 Well, Aaron Carter hasn't been, and I say this with no malice,

00:16:32.480 but he hasn't really been killing it recently musically, right?

00:16:36.300 I mean, he's not.

00:16:37.320 Am I wrong?

00:16:37.920 And so that made sense when we found out that it was CZ 5912 or whatever.

00:16:41.980 It's no longer Aaron's party.

00:16:43.540 But the fact, he wants candy, but I don't know if he can afford it anymore.

00:16:46.800 But the thing is, is this thing is actually real.

00:16:50.220 Oh, okay.

00:16:51.940 Real diamonds.

00:16:52.740 And what will that run you?

00:16:54.660 Six, five, six K?

00:16:55.880 Five to six Ks.

00:16:56.620 But your chain's still more.

00:16:58.560 15K, so we lost $10,000.

00:16:59.940 We lost 10 grand.

00:17:00.760 Yeah.

00:17:01.140 God.

00:17:01.940 I'm trying to think what, now that I know that you barter like this, I'm trying to think

00:17:05.020 what I can give you.

00:17:06.020 And then you could just trade me.

00:17:08.240 Like, I'm like, you trade me your home.

00:17:10.680 I have a pair of new balances, but they're all, you know, it's all.

00:17:15.260 What's your favorite possession?

00:17:16.680 I'm curious.

00:17:17.920 My favorite possession?

00:17:19.420 That's very interesting.

00:17:20.220 It used to be a waffle iron.

00:17:21.420 Legit.

00:17:21.740 Really?

00:17:22.060 It used to be a waffle iron.

00:17:23.520 Now with keto, it's not.

00:17:25.180 Plain waffles?

00:17:26.140 What kind of waffles?

00:17:27.100 Just waffles.

00:17:27.960 Belgian waffles.

00:17:28.600 Just a Belgian waffle iron. 1.00

00:17:29.620 But would you put shit in them? 0.99

00:17:31.080 You would put stuff on top of them. 0.99

00:17:32.420 Yeah.

00:17:32.640 You know?

00:17:33.300 Yeah, it's not like a pancake where you get in it. 0.99

00:17:35.220 You don't fuck with it. 0.95

00:17:36.200 You just put stuff on top of it. 1.00

00:17:37.520 You fuck with Eggos? 1.00

00:17:39.600 Eggos. 1.00

00:17:40.200 Eggo waffles?

00:17:40.700 Like Lego my Eggo?

00:17:41.800 No.

00:17:42.240 I mean, when I was younger, you know?

00:17:44.040 When I was younger, some of my friends did. 1.00

00:17:45.780 Because I had some really white trash friends. 1.00

00:17:48.120 We love Eggos, by the way. 0.99

00:17:49.500 Well, that, I mean, sure.

00:17:50.900 He's from Ohio, so.

00:17:51.920 Yeah, no, I was just in Ohio.

00:17:53.060 I was just in Cincinnati, and boy, that is a, you know.

00:17:55.660 Eggo town.

00:17:56.420 Well, there's no town where the food matches the people more than Cincinnati.

00:18:00.240 Like, what they eat matches exactly who they are.

00:18:02.140 Like, you look at them, and you see, like, a woman in pajama pants with a neck tattoo

00:18:06.280 and three vapes on her person, and you go, what would she eat?

00:18:10.720 And then you see, like, a bowl of spaghetti with chili and cheddar cheese.

00:18:14.340 You're like, yeah, that's exactly right.

00:18:16.080 That fits.

00:18:17.040 She's like, you want to go down a skyline?

00:18:18.860 You know what it is?

00:18:19.240 It's carnival food, but no carnival.

00:18:21.020 Like, there's no rinds.

00:18:22.600 Cincinnati is the carnival.

00:18:23.860 It's just carnival food, you know?

00:18:25.720 And just the game is trying to get health insurance.

00:18:29.360 It's very tough.

00:18:31.160 But it was great shows.

00:18:32.100 Everyone there needs to laugh because, you know, it's been de-industrialized.

00:18:35.420 Yeah.

00:18:36.180 Shout out Cincy.

00:18:37.140 Yeah, Cincinnati.

00:18:37.900 Thanks a lot.

00:18:38.580 And hope that didn't offend you.

00:18:39.600 So it was a waffle iron, but now what?

00:18:42.100 Now it's hard to say.

00:18:43.380 Surely you've got one thing that when you're feeling, like, mega depressed, you'll, like, hold it.

00:18:47.320 And you'll be like, oh, this ain't that bad.

00:18:49.460 I don't know.

00:18:49.880 you know because i'm a comic it's probably a microphone it's i hate to say oh wow getting

00:18:54.140 on stage and because like when you're depressed you go on stage you try to get you try to make

00:18:58.160 that funny ah so that's kind of probably what it would be i mean you know i don't have a thing

00:19:02.700 i don't have a magical thing where i'm like you know this is i derive power from it do you feel

00:19:08.400 uh do you feel safe behind a microphone is that like a is that a yeah i mean to an extent yeah

00:19:13.680 because you know we got i got good at being funny so when you get good at being funny you feel less

00:19:18.780 vulnerable behind the mic 100 how how much of being funny is a genetic thing versus learned

00:19:25.960 comedy interesting question that's a good question interesting question i don't know i think there's

00:19:31.940 a lot of really talented people that don't work hard and there's a lot of people that work hard

00:19:35.880 that don't have that natural talent so it's hard to say i feel like the delivery portion of it is

00:19:40.980 natural and that's so important well the delivery portion of it is is is work too okay but i mean

00:19:47.380 listen man you don't meet many comics where you're like they have no natural talent yeah usually

00:19:52.080 there's something there where you're like that guy or that chick there's something funny uh about

00:19:57.420 them or they just developed it but then there are some people that you meet them and you're like you

00:20:02.280 respect them more because you're like this is all work like nothing is like they've worked themselves

00:20:07.940 to being funny do you know who ian bagg is i know him i don't i don't i haven't met him but i know

00:20:13.240 him he's like a scottish british i think he's an american okay so neither of what you said just

00:20:18.820 is he but i okay maybe he's american does he maybe look scottish yeah he does oh well there you go

00:20:24.040 it's an arbitrary example but i talked to him because he his stand-up comedy was like he would

00:20:29.840 interact with the audience the whole time yeah he didn't have like a set per se yeah i'd never

00:20:33.960 seen anything like it when i watch this guy do stand-up and uh he would just riff off the audience

00:20:39.920 and the callbacks were crazy

00:20:41.100 and everything was off the top of the dome.

00:20:42.740 I do a lot of that, but you got to, it's hard to,

00:20:45.320 you know, it's hard in Cincinnati

00:20:46.460 when people are overdosing on heroin in the crowd.

00:20:49.460 You have to have a bit, you have to have jokes.

00:20:52.080 That's just an improv set, right?

00:20:54.240 It's crowd work.

00:20:55.000 So what he's doing is crowd work, which is great.

00:20:56.660 If you do none of that, I like to do a lot,

00:20:59.200 like a good amount of it

00:21:00.080 because then you feel like it's a live show.

00:21:02.560 You feel like you're there and it's, you know, it's crazy.

00:21:05.160 And you could, but you got to also, I think, have jokes.

00:21:08.020 Yeah, yeah.

00:21:08.340 You got to have something to say.

00:21:09.200 because if i go see a comedian i want to be like i want to hear this guy say something

00:21:12.640 yeah well yeah yeah when you do the crowd work you go it feels like you you guys go in there

00:21:17.440 with some ammo so if you see a can't make any examples because you know pr teams here but if

00:21:23.340 you see a person that fulfills a certain stereotypical opportunity for you i won't

00:21:28.780 say what kind obviously but you have a joke planned for that attack you can i mean it depends

00:21:34.060 that's kind of i don't know i mean you want to stay away from like what's hacky and what's been

00:21:37.940 done right yeah so if you if it's like all like uh race stuff or all i mean it's that kind of

00:21:43.680 gets hacky because people have heard it before you ever you ever venture into that territory

00:21:46.700 the what is now deemed if you say i mean listen sure i mean you venture into any territory you

00:21:51.840 can to try to be funny yeah you know the kid that uh i'm friends with that guy shane gillis

00:21:55.460 unfortunately who just you know he got um you let go from snl you're friends with him yeah we're

00:22:00.240 friends he's a good dude you know and he uh he i don't think that uh he was prepared for the level

00:22:06.760 animosity uh that was directed at him you know how's he doing he's doing good he's doing good

00:22:12.680 but it's like you know i mean when people pile on like that online when they just and that's my

00:22:17.820 problem with it i'm like you could disagree with what he said or you could think he shouldn't have

00:22:21.280 the job but to just be out and be like this guy's a racist he's homophobic it's like you don't know

00:22:26.360 the guy you don't know his intent you don't know what he's about and then you know how it is people

00:22:30.800 just dog pile and and it just gets to a point where you're like you have to like get get off

00:22:34.920 the internet you uh you agree with snl's decision there to remove him no no because i think that

00:22:41.780 snl a few years ago was doing stuff that would be they themselves would consider offensive yeah

00:22:47.020 for sure they would do an asian accent they were doing stuff like that i mean chelsea handler has

00:22:50.900 a new documentary about uh being white or whatever but you know and fine it's cool but she's also in 0.99

00:22:56.860 the privilege of being white but then a few years ago chelsea handler's doing racial jokes and you

00:23:02.340 make a fortune doing like racial jokes and then you decide oh that everything i did was wrong i'm

00:23:07.500 sorry now i'm this person yeah it feels fake i like it feels fake to us yeah i like seeing this

00:23:12.740 new like uh inception i think i think chappelle just did a great job of it of just people running

00:23:17.420 on a platform of please cancel i'm not changing anything i'm not here for your feedback i'm not

00:23:22.600 here for your cancels when you're big you can do that right when you have the money and you're big

00:23:26.300 you can do that but when you're younger it's tough because you're trying to get on yeah we had this

00:23:30.580 conversation last night actually do you want to talk about this at all yeah we just had an

00:23:34.780 obligatory conversation randomly about what could be said and what can't be said right you know like

00:23:40.280 there may have been something that was going to be that that wasn't but anyways i told him this

00:23:44.580 i told him this what you just said is so accurate if you're if you're a smaller creator and you rely 0.95

00:23:49.920 on if if someone needs to turn the key for you yeah and you're canceled it could fuck you up

00:23:56.080 If you rely on brands to pay your bills, 0.90

00:23:58.460 it could fuck you up, absolutely. 0.98

00:23:59.500 And I argued back. 0.98

00:24:00.600 I said, these are the brands I rely on to pay my bills.

00:24:02.760 Right.

00:24:03.060 My bookie, condom brands, alcohol brands. 0.99

00:24:06.040 And they're like, wow, he said something fucked up 0.98

00:24:07.720 and now everybody's talking about it. 0.99

00:24:09.040 Give them more money.

00:24:10.000 Yeah.

00:24:10.320 By the way, also, my whole situation is if I get canceled, 0.98

00:24:12.980 I'm just going to do porn. 0.97

00:24:14.540 Right. 0.98

00:24:14.880 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:24:15.420 That's a great idea.

00:24:15.900 I already have the fallback already planned out.

00:24:17.340 I'm already doing porn, and I'm not canceled.

00:24:19.140 There you go.

00:24:19.580 So you're diversified.

00:24:20.980 I'm preparing, yeah.

00:24:22.260 I got premiums.

00:24:22.860 Yeah, but when you have the companies like you have,

00:24:25.040 and I have them on my podcast too,

00:24:26.440 that market primarily to degenerates, you know?

00:24:29.100 And then, you know, let's be honest.

00:24:30.840 And we're also selling CBD oil to people

00:24:32.780 that don't want to hear their baby.

00:24:33.520 Me too.

00:24:33.940 They don't want to hear their baby scream.

00:24:35.500 They're like, just rub CBD on it.

00:24:37.080 Give it to them.

00:24:37.560 It's better than Xanax.

00:24:38.640 I know he's sick.

00:24:39.620 You don't need vaccinations.

00:24:40.720 Hit them with some CBD.

00:24:41.840 So I walked that line.

00:24:43.240 Unfortunately, I'm partnered with one of the most

00:24:45.720 squeaky clean, controversy-free, you know,

00:24:48.360 partners of all time.

00:24:49.480 And so I have to really lean on the safe side.

00:24:52.460 Yeah, well, I get it, man.

00:24:53.900 as a comic uh i i think that people that listen to me want to hear stuff that they can't say at

00:24:58.740 work absolutely that doesn't mean that it's hateful it means that they want to hear somebody

00:25:03.440 be funny and not care and that's why you have things like patreon and you have other things

00:25:08.400 that kind of allow you to go directly to hell yeah you know hell yeah but i do think even the

00:25:12.780 brands dude eventually the brands are going to be like listen what are we freaking out about

00:25:17.000 you know like do you have a time period for that because i'm looking forward to that a little bit

00:25:21.800 I mean, I think, well, if Trump wins again, it's going to be either like people are either it's going to either go crazier for four years or people are just going to go, listen, this is the new reality.

00:25:32.760 And you're just going to start hearing people say slurs and like special K commercials and cereal.

00:25:38.440 You know what I mean?

00:25:39.160 That could be the thing, too.

00:25:40.840 Like, you know, I don't know.

00:25:42.560 I mean, I don't know.

00:25:43.040 But I think that's the direction it goes in.

00:25:44.800 You guys like football?

00:25:45.960 That's great.

00:25:46.600 My bookie is the place to bet on every football weekend.

00:25:50.380 Better bonuses and more prop bets than any other sports book, period.

00:25:53.700 This year, they're hosting the first online handicapping super contest.

00:25:56.580 First place is guaranteed to win at least $100,000.

00:25:59.240 It only costs $100,000 to enter.

00:26:01.120 Imagine the things you can do with $100,000.

00:26:03.400 Tell you what, you could buy two things that are $50,000.

00:26:05.840 All you got to do is pick five NFL games against the spread every week

00:26:08.440 to climb the leaderboard and score your share of the huge cash prize pool.

00:26:12.500 How's your experience been so far in my bookie?

00:26:13.800 I'm incredible.

00:26:14.540 My bookie always pays.

00:26:15.560 Are you rich?

00:26:15.820 Are you rich yet?

00:26:16.380 I'm not really that great.

00:26:17.540 You got to put more down.

00:26:18.260 but i'm gonna bet more next time that a boy my bookie is always the right play you bet you win

00:26:23.920 they pay up to a thousand dollars first deposit bonus double your first deposit use the promo

00:26:28.420 code logan it's my name l-o-g-a-n to activate the offer visit my bookie online today that's

00:26:33.000 m-y-b-o-o-k-i-e and don't forget to use a promo code logan when creating your account to claim

00:26:37.900 the bonus bet win get paid i think if trump wins again you might see corporations they don't care

00:26:44.540 anything they don't care about anything but money right so you might see them just be like all right

00:26:47.680 you know what we went woke that you know didn't work out well let's go the other way yeah let's

00:26:52.000 see what happens like apple is opening a plant in texas now they're gonna start producing stuff

00:26:57.180 and and i mean by the way it probably was trump that made that happen so i could see them you

00:27:01.960 know in a year or two now starting to introduce you know slurs into their campaigns yeah i think

00:27:06.180 they're close i mean it's i mean listen these these companies these entertainment companies

00:27:09.680 they don't care about all these people they're doing woke comedy now that are getting some 0.95

00:27:13.220 fucking losers dude they're losing but it's also like they the people hiring you don't care 0.98

00:27:18.020 they don't care about your they're hiring you because they think that's where the money is 1.00

00:27:22.120 right now when they think that the money's not there anymore you're gone yeah authentic comedy 0.96

00:27:26.900 that hurts people's feelings is coming back it's coming back it's coming back and i am so fucking

00:27:31.500 here for we hope so yeah part of the reason i ask you this as well is uh because on theo's podcast 0.96

00:27:36.380 you were saying some shit that i i wouldn't even i wouldn't even dream about yeah well here's the 0.90

00:27:41.240 deal as a gay dude i get a little so i didn't there it is i didn't know that i guess you didn't 0.99

00:27:45.340 know this you were getting very nervous sitting next to me no they told me on it on yeah because

00:27:49.360 i was like you were having a panic attack you thought it was all over you thought it was like

00:27:52.940 somebody set you up to get canceled again for sure you thought ksi was paying me yeah you're 0.96

00:27:58.480 like who is what is going on who's this nazi next to me who's this fat nazi that was hired by the

00:28:04.440 you know uh so i get a little more leeway but not a ton of leeway but i also as a comic i'm like

00:28:09.480 listen man all i'm ever trying to do is be funny shane was trying to be funny he was saying shocking

00:28:15.040 things to try to be fun you're not always going to be funny you're not always gonna be fine i see

00:28:19.960 you disagree with no no no which is okay no yeah no i was just gonna ask you i was just thinking

00:28:24.580 because as a comic to me in a way i sort of dictate you as someone who's got a uh a thick

00:28:32.280 skin yes i think yeah i do does anything ever hurt your feelings are you do you ever claim to be

00:28:37.540 victim no no i mean things it things my personal life will hurt my feelings but like i don't care

00:28:42.880 what people say part of it is i'm an addict i have i'm like sober eight years so if i cared

00:28:47.540 about what people said i would probably be out drinking using drugs and dead so i have to be

00:28:53.240 like 100 i don't care what anyone says yeah now that's i don't know i'm not saying everyone should

00:28:58.700 live like that but the way i personally am i don't care what people say because i also look

00:29:02.500 at people's actions and sometimes dude the amount of people that call me and have private conversations

00:29:06.880 with me and these are like people that are in the business that are high up in the business that

00:29:11.140 call me go oh man it's snl things that's screwed up i feel bad for the kid and then their public

00:29:16.340 persona is either not saying anything or the worst endorsing the other side of what they really feel 0.98

00:29:23.480 i know enough of that to go oh this is all kind of bullshit breaks my heart bro yeah it does 0.88

00:29:29.440 breaks my heart i had i had i had a incident like that i could say it yeah i said this publicly 0.92

00:29:35.240 do you know who uh do you know who aaron paul is aaron paul uh breaking bad yes yes yes so before

00:29:41.520 i thought you were gonna say aaron carter again it keeps being aaron carter the whole life a lot

00:29:44.420 of aaron carter i had this chain aaron carter came on it's the same story over and over i'm

00:29:50.600 like god he has been hitting the head yeah bro i gotta stop hitting the head now uh before before

00:29:55.640 the japan thing aaron paul i had met him twice one once was that i think the streaming awards

00:30:00.660 and the other was at neon carnival at coachella and the first time he came up to me he's like yo

00:30:04.840 i just want to say love your stuff love what you do with your brother uh changing the landscape

00:30:09.660 really appreciate you i'm like yo that's all you're like yeah yeah like nice to meet you we

00:30:13.980 got the same name and then coachella same deal just stoked to see me big fan shook my hand hug 0.58

00:30:19.160 whatever japan happens hate tweet immediately one of the biggest ones like like like go rotten hell 0.55

00:30:27.560 i think was the verbage he used so crazy go rotten and i'm like bro i've i've met you like

00:30:31.860 twice we have like a bunch of mutual friends like yeah like reach out to me now do you dm him that 0.79

00:30:36.400 or do you are you just like you're getting so much of it you don't know that that that one

00:30:41.060 specifically just hurt because i know i saw that his sentiment to me in real life and then and then

00:30:46.300 the the 180 like i i wouldn't mind a flip but yeah the 180 from like you'll love yourself to 0.94

00:30:53.280 like literally go die and by the way when you're dead rot in hell yeah just the the words the words

00:30:58.180 the words he used prior to it too were so pc constructed like kids are watching your content 0.96

00:31:04.360 and you have a responsibility like it was like one of those like i like like if it was anyone who

00:31:09.940 hadn't expressed such approval of me in real life it wouldn't have been a problem it wouldn't matter

00:31:15.420 yeah so i actually i actually i actually blew the tweet up on a on a poster board and uh taped it in

00:31:21.080 front of my treadmill and used it as motivations for the better last year just because just because

00:31:26.580 like this i mean i'm sure that's how you get ahead listen that's how a lot of these guys have

00:31:31.040 gotten careers in hollywood because they just don't care i mean miley cyrus's new video and 0.98

00:31:36.200 whatever she's got disabled people in the video she has a woman who's like 700 pounds great great 0.85

00:31:41.680 but where were they last year well they weren't cool yet they weren't cool yeah where were they 0.83

00:31:47.160 last year so now all of a sudden you're like oh i love disabled people and i love this 700 pound

00:31:52.800 woman and you know but where were miley they were here there's been fat people for a long time i i

00:31:59.900 know many of them well maybe they would have loved to be i would have loved to be in a miley cyrus 1.00

00:32:03.680 video sitting in a tub like that woman you know inclusivity had to be on the upswing at at some

00:32:09.540 point in time and maybe it just happens to be now here's the deal it's the way and i understand that

00:32:14.460 but it's you can't expect like people that do that in a very like transparent way this is not

00:32:22.380 inclusivity based on high moral fiber it's inclusivity based on marketing i want to stay

00:32:27.800 at the top it's like chelsea handler did that documentary because she's like well i did a lot

00:32:32.040 of racist jokes let me get ahead of my own cancellation let me put a doc out to just

00:32:36.060 make people so that when people find her jokes where she's like don't people from alaska look

00:32:40.460 like they have down syndrome you know and with a theater full of people being like this is the 0.78

00:32:44.680 genius you know when people find that she started donating to special olympics yeah but she also

00:32:49.160 made a documentary about being white oh people like oh she's turning it around you know it's

00:32:54.840 just fake dude there's a whole generation of people that don't care anymore we need to get 0.89

00:32:58.680 you and chelsea on the undercard it's i mean she'd win she i would fight her valiantly but

00:33:04.660 she would probably win do you believe in the privilege hierarchy i mean to an extent yeah

00:33:10.060 it's easier to be white than black in this country what about what's much easier what's 0.99

00:33:13.860 something i could strap on i mean this i don't even i don't even know how this is fuck what's 0.99

00:33:20.800 something i could add on to my my appearance or to my person to protect myself like like i'm a 0.99

00:33:27.320 straight white christian yeah i'm fucked right now dude like what can i what can i do to like 0.98

00:33:34.180 protect myself you're not fucked yeah i wouldn't say fucked i mean do you want to get away with 0.99

00:33:39.040 doing some stuff i can't change my race so we found out earlier what do you want to be able to 0.99

00:33:44.900 do because i'll tell you right now preference here's what you want you want to get away with

00:33:47.800 everything just some just enough full body burka in a wheelchair full body burka in a wheelchair

00:33:53.740 and then literally you could scream the n-word into a microphone and it's gonna be okay do you

00:33:59.000 want to get away with everything yes full body burka in a wheelchair wheel up wheel up in a

00:34:03.580 burka and grab the mic and just let it rip and you're good break if i told you i wanted to 0.84

00:34:08.820 have a career in comedy would you break my legs who would like severely break my legs

00:34:13.600 so that i can do that this poor guy just got out of an ice bath we're gonna move on he's just

00:34:18.960 trying to normalize your team's pissed how cold do you get after that it's just it's in your bones

00:34:24.020 should i do that would it help for me to do it do you work out i mean i do to an extent what does

00:34:29.040 that mean define well what what does it mean you tell me you asked the question you set the

00:34:34.400 parameters all right do you work out i'll jog occasionally okay but you what do i gotta do do

00:34:40.240 i have to like for one hour a day at least five days a week i mean that is insane who is doing

00:34:48.400 that who is doing that one hour a day five days he's doing four hours a day i know he's getting

00:34:56.380 paid millions of dollars to fight that's true this guy in an arena you know no i i listen i'm starting 0.99

00:35:01.760 to now because i'm at la you know new york are you less health focus ah fuck i wanted to ask you 0.98

00:35:08.380 this on theo's podcast but it didn't feel right okay and it still doesn't feel right it doesn't 0.97

00:35:13.100 matter but it's i'm at home yeah it's my podcast i got some this is a great bedroom people don't

00:35:17.600 realize your bed is right there it's right there people have no idea uh and there's a maid over

00:35:22.180 there hi how are you this is this is it bro this is the part that gets clipped what is this 9-11

00:35:29.640 jews no i just like make eye contact i'm so getting ready to no no i'm good i'm good i support

00:35:35.700 israel like where where exactly does this go i can skate around it now because i know it would

00:35:39.780 get me canceled and went well yeah do you you you remind me of chris farley yeah sure uh are you

00:35:45.800 ever fighting to try to not be known as the new chris farley does that bother you well i think

00:35:51.780 any big guy that's kind of funny is going to be compared to far i mean 100 you're just going to

00:35:56.240 get that comparison you're going to get compared to like kevin james or whatever i mean i don't

00:36:00.140 think my material is nothing like his and the podcast is nothing like his um like he was a

00:36:06.540 he was a brilliant he was one i think probably you look at the top 10 funniest people that have

00:36:10.780 maybe ever existed was that guy so it's never an insult i don't care but it's like tonally we're

00:36:16.260 very different that that wasn't medically we're very different your after work life is very

00:36:21.020 different i mean you gotta understand he was as bad as it comes in terms of drug use and yeah

00:36:26.440 it wasn't it wasn't great that that wasn't the insult part yeah the insult part was do you ever 0.99

00:36:31.840 feel like fuck like if you just fucking say it is your do use your weight as part of your stick 0.99

00:36:39.160 here's the thing i don't use it as much as part of my stick but does it make me more likable 1.00

00:36:43.020 potentially i don't know that's hard to that's hard to know so because on theo's podcast you

00:36:47.740 were talking about losing weight and i'm wondering like how much weight can you lose before like

00:36:50.640 you know the average person is like oh like tim when he was a fat guy i don't know it's a good

00:36:55.680 it's a good question i mean i think that there's very little chance of like me having a six pack

00:37:00.360 you know what i mean like i'm never gonna be a guy that walks on stage and looks like dane cook

00:37:05.500 yeah but i do think that i should get healthier i think everybody should get healthier because i

00:37:10.720 don't think that like um i don't know i think that some of the funniest stuff that i do is on

00:37:16.400 the podcast and that's just people listening because that's not even people watching you know

00:37:20.260 i look at like jonah hill and like you know he yo-yoed yeah we talked about that yeah i saw

00:37:25.100 tweets like i like fat jonah hill better and i'm like i don't know i was just wondering i was i

00:37:30.200 think you got to evolve i think jonah hill is an actor it's harder for him to evolve right

00:37:33.540 because jonah hill's just handed scripts yeah but if if you as a comedian can evolve and become

00:37:39.040 something else and you can write about stuff and you could i don't think it's as big of a deal for

00:37:43.780 a comedian but if you're an actor and you play one type of role it might put you in more of a box

00:37:48.700 typecast yeah i decide what i say on stage like i decide what i say and who and how i say it yeah

00:37:54.780 so it's easier for me but i mean who knows but i mean all one of the biggest parts of being funny

00:37:59.560 is probably staying alive right like i think so dead i mean that's huge i mean that's the other

00:38:03.880 thing it's like that's i think a lot of that is in people's heads when they're like if i lose weight

00:38:08.100 if i stop doing coke if i spend time with my family i won't be funny well my rebuttals to

00:38:13.460 myself would be I just watched did you see uh Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis I haven't 0.97

00:38:17.380 seen it yet yeah it's pretty funny yeah but like there are so many Zach Galifianakis you're a fatty

00:38:22.660 jokes right and you look at Zach Galifianakis like yo he's not even that fat anymore no he's lost a

00:38:26.940 lot of weight yeah a lot of weight yeah but he's still he's still funny he's still not only funny

00:38:31.660 but he's still not like in the movie everyone calls him Zach Galifianakis I talked with I talked

00:38:36.460 with Rogan about this and Rogan because I was saying I was getting healthier and I asked him

00:38:40.140 for a lot of advice and i was like i feel like it makes me more likable and he's like dude he's

00:38:43.780 like you're just funny he's like it's in your head he's like it's just in your head and you 0.99

00:38:47.400 just you just want an excuse to eat like shit yeah and to treat yourself like shit but he's 0.99

00:38:52.020 like it's in your head you just gotta plow through it and wrote like you want to talk about mental 0.99

00:38:55.740 discipline nobody has more than joe so it's like i think when i either talk with him but yeah it's

00:39:00.760 an absolute concern you don't have to be worried about asking like it's a thing that that that i

00:39:05.300 think is in the mind of any comedian by the way that's comedians that are drunks that's comedians

00:39:09.820 that are big it's not just being bigger it's like if you're if your whole act is that you're a 1.00

00:39:14.300 partier do you stop partying ever yeah if your whole act is that you you fuck all these chicks 0.99

00:39:19.260 and you you settle down with somebody are you still funny if you're not that bachelor guy you 0.99

00:39:23.440 know so it's like hard what are your thoughts on that because i think about that from time 1.00

00:39:27.100 i run a platform of yeah all kinds of dirty shit yeah porn and partying and all that shit 0.99

00:39:33.320 and now i'm sober and christian yeah like am i gonna be not funny if i settle down and get like 1.00

00:39:38.440 a fence and shit no no i don't i don't know how funny you are now like what is it not very 0.77

00:39:43.920 someone say someone say not at all you'll be okay i think you're gonna be okay uh no i mean 0.98

00:39:52.520 listen man we all gotta evolve right you're a different guy than you were five years ago so

00:39:57.560 part of you is probably like if i stop doing things are people gonna like me is my audience

00:40:01.660 gonna like me dude your audience changes right yeah people watching this are probably different

00:40:05.520 than the people watching you five years ago potentially so you just got to keep like going 0.99

00:40:09.280 the effects you know yeah the fuck was that i think it was yours i think you got it you know 0.98

00:40:15.420 um i'm assuming you're trying to achieve mainstream success um okay i want to i don't know what that 0.98

00:40:27.120 even means i'm asking i don't i'm not really sure i don't know what that means either i mean just

00:40:31.060 because like i don't think i'm i don't think uh like i'm not gonna host a tonight show you got a

00:40:35.900 goal yeah i want people to pay money like i you know we're selling tickets now i want people to

00:40:41.300 pay money to and enjoy the hell out of what i do i want people to listen to the podcast i want them

00:40:45.140 to come out to live shows uh that's pretty much the goal you know uh it's what all my friends and

00:40:51.080 people that i respect do but as far as like mainstream success it's like i look at mainstream

00:40:55.020 shows i don't even understand what's happening now jimmy fallon's playing with uh the muppets

00:40:59.380 or he's playing checkers with Cameron Diaz.

00:41:00.880 I have no idea who's watching that.

00:41:03.500 What's the viewership on these shows?

00:41:05.060 Does anyone know?

00:41:05.520 A couple of mil.

00:41:06.320 A couple of mil?

00:41:07.360 Yeah, two million.

00:41:08.100 I don't know what's going on there.

00:41:09.580 I feel like people just turn it on to fill a void.

00:41:14.260 I used to put these on my show on to fall asleep.

00:41:16.200 What void?

00:41:17.360 No, just like I said.

00:41:18.380 If it's void where you need to see Cameron Diaz play chess.

00:41:21.340 Not at all.

00:41:21.940 What's wrong with it?

00:41:22.480 No, I mean, and I turn on Jimmy Fallon.

00:41:24.380 And it's like the stories that lead into Jimmy Fallon

00:41:27.300 are so horrific 1.00

00:41:27.940 because there's a lot of crazy shit 1.00

00:41:29.100 going on in the country 0.99

00:41:29.760 and then Jimmy Fallon's show

00:41:30.660 is so insane

00:41:31.340 that it's like,

00:41:32.220 another mass shooting today.

00:41:33.580 Next on The Tonight Show,

00:41:34.700 Jimmy Fallon and Post Malone

00:41:36.120 go to Red Lobster.

00:41:37.720 I'm like,

00:41:38.080 why is this happening?

00:41:39.060 Why are we doing this?

00:41:40.240 Why is that entertainment?

00:41:42.080 Jimmy Fallon goes to the Olive Garden

00:41:43.560 with Cardi B.

00:41:44.640 But SNL is not that far off either. 0.99

00:41:46.900 It sucks. 1.00

00:41:47.300 It sucks. 0.99

00:41:47.520 Yo, I'm sorry. 0.99

00:41:48.440 SNL blows, dude. 0.99

00:41:49.780 It sucks. 1.00

00:41:50.280 SNL is so bad. 1.00

00:41:51.020 It sucks. 1.00

00:41:51.800 Do you know how painful it is 0.99

00:41:52.860 for me to watch SNL with him?

00:41:55.340 Yeah.

00:41:55.640 Because he wasn't,

00:41:56.780 he's not versed per se on chevy chase farley good shit spade like i've seen every single 0.95

00:42:04.100 fucking episode of that like the highlights and i knew the caliber that they were operating at 0.85

00:42:08.720 and then and then now i think they just had their season premiere and uh i think billy eilish 0.94

00:42:13.460 performed yeah and woody harrelson hosted yeah and it i mean like i just i cannot believe it's

00:42:19.760 still a thing you know what it is man i don't know how many people it's a thing for i think

00:42:25.040 It's just a thing for the people that are in media,

00:42:27.080 the people like blue checks on Twitter that watch it.

00:42:28.960 I don't think anybody really cares.

00:42:30.140 I've never,

00:42:30.400 there's not a single friend I've ever had.

00:42:31.780 That's like,

00:42:32.120 I'm going to go home and watch SNL.

00:42:34.200 It's become a,

00:42:35.160 it's become a show where the political satire on it has become weak.

00:42:41.060 And it used to be funny.

00:42:42.260 You know,

00:42:42.580 when Will Ferrell was doing Bush, 0.86

00:42:44.120 it was funny,

00:42:45.140 dude.

00:42:45.620 And now Alec Baldwin doing Trump and what they're doing with Trump.

00:42:48.560 None of it's funny.

00:42:49.840 The only one that's funny.

00:42:51.040 It makes you feel bad for Trump.

00:42:52.140 I don't even like Trump,

00:42:53.000 but it like makes you feel,

00:42:54.060 you watch the show and you're like i mean trump is funnier than snl trump you know one of our

00:43:01.000 peers just got a uh a show on nbc yeah name is lily singh did you hear about that uh yeah you

00:43:07.720 seen it i have and let me say this um i believe that everyone who works on the show should be

00:43:17.320 executed and and and i and i don't say that it will be via what means by the way i mean

00:43:27.740 is there like a way dude i mean it is that bad it is so uncomfortable you know what i mean

00:43:34.900 i mean it is the worst show that i don't know why when you said that i thought guillotine

00:43:40.900 Don't spend that kind of money

00:43:44.500 Don't spend the guillotine money

00:43:45.980 We've already wasted a lot of money

00:43:48.040 At NBC

00:43:48.940 Bro, I watched it, so someone in our community

00:43:51.840 Am I wrong?

00:43:53.620 No, dude, it's rough

00:43:55.200 It was rough

00:43:56.720 Somebody from our community, this guy Keemstar

00:43:58.580 Commented on it

00:43:59.680 I love the names

00:44:02.620 Fousey and Keemstar

00:44:04.940 It's like a video game

00:44:06.260 Does anybody have a name, like Tom?

00:44:07.820 No, well, even Logan's got two first names

00:44:10.560 but he commented on it

00:44:12.800 and he said that she clearly 0.99

00:44:14.520 hates white people. That was what he said. 0.99

00:44:16.640 It just sucks. And I didn't watch it 0.99

00:44:18.580 before I could. It's not even that.

00:44:22.240 You're

00:44:22.760 diving in too far. Yeah, you're right.

00:44:24.720 Listen, it's just so bad.

00:44:27.040 I don't, dude, I'd rather watch 1.00

00:44:28.900 white people get killed than 1.00

00:44:30.660 that show. 0.99

00:44:32.280 It's not even, dude, the problem

00:44:34.760 is the comedy.

00:44:36.660 Dude, the audience is so uncomfortable.

00:44:38.380 They're laughing like someone made a joke

00:44:40.960 In the waiting room of a hospital

00:44:43.080 While your grandmother's dying

00:44:44.520 They get that kind of laugh

00:44:45.420 It's like an uncomfortable laugh

00:44:49.000 And by the way

00:44:49.660 Her laugh track is literally like 20 people

00:44:52.760 It's almost like they didn't get enough people

00:44:55.260 That would want to watch it

00:44:56.020 I noticed that too

00:44:56.900 They didn't pack the audience

00:44:59.480 Because to your point

00:45:01.400 How many people want to go watch someone

00:45:03.420 Talk about cultural norms in societies

00:45:06.020 It's shocking

00:45:07.200 they couldn't get more people. 0.82

00:45:08.280 They probably shoot it in New York City, right? 0.64

00:45:10.360 Yeah.

00:45:10.520 How crazy is it that they could not have gotten more people?

00:45:14.260 They could have shot it at Bubba Gump Shrimp

00:45:16.760 and gotten a bigger audience.

00:45:19.160 It is an uncomfortably small audience

00:45:21.660 that doesn't know what's happening.

00:45:23.540 Yeah.

00:45:23.780 Like they don't know what's happening.

00:45:25.020 And it's tricky for me because Lily's a friend

00:45:28.120 and I like her.

00:45:28.720 Yeah, and she's a friend of mine too.

00:45:29.660 She's my best friend.

00:45:30.780 So that is very difficult.

00:45:32.540 No, I've never met her. 0.94

00:45:33.940 You're sending your best friend to the guillotine

00:45:35.880 for shows that bad i mean dude she's probably not a bad chick but you can't just do stand-up 0.91

00:45:41.860 it would be like if i just stepped in a boxing ring it's like there was no training yeah where

00:45:46.020 was the training yeah and then you hire a bunch of right i know some of the writers on the show

00:45:49.320 and i like them they're not bad people um but is it her delivery that's off or could she not

00:45:54.620 deliver the jokes weren't didn't sound great the only problem is the writing and the delivery

00:46:00.280 but that's everything

00:46:01.360 that is it

00:46:02.760 and to your point

00:46:03.800 and the set is no good

00:46:05.340 to your point

00:46:06.320 that you said that

00:46:07.060 it was

00:46:07.320 she wasn't trained

00:46:08.740 but at the same time

00:46:09.880 like it goes back

00:46:10.660 to that marketing aspect

00:46:11.560 you talked about earlier

00:46:12.380 which is

00:46:12.760 they selected someone

00:46:14.340 who was at the highest part

00:46:15.600 of wokeness

00:46:16.860 I'm smarter than you

00:46:17.960 yeah

00:46:18.220 dude it's

00:46:18.640 I'm smarter than you comedy

00:46:19.920 I'm better than you

00:46:21.020 who wants that

00:46:21.960 who wants to turn on a TV 0.99

00:46:23.420 and have somebody be like

00:46:24.260 I'm better than you

00:46:25.320 and I mean it's like 0.99

00:46:26.520 it just sucks 0.82

00:46:27.920 I don't care about 0.98

00:46:28.740 the racial angle at all

00:46:29.600 make fun

00:46:30.000 dude 0.98

00:46:30.220 make fun of white people you know what i mean just let's let's have cat williams do it uh you 0.97

00:46:36.440 know or another woman who's funny you know i mean yeah that's i feel bad for her and i mean

00:46:42.600 they'll keep her on for seven or eight years um you really think so no no i'm kidding they'll get

00:46:47.840 they'll get rid of that but who knows where it'll go i don't know one season well the left people

00:46:52.620 the people on the left are mad at her now too because she did a joke about uh burka or hijab

00:46:56.860 oh no she's indian she's allowed she's indian so now people are turning on her so now it's the

00:47:02.960 show is for no one the show's for literally no one do you is there a point where all this stuff

00:47:08.340 comes to such a head where like for me being early into all this stuff and podcasting and

00:47:12.620 making jokes and all that stuff like i already have that feeling of like i don't know if i want 0.96

00:47:16.560 to do this like imagine every fucking joke every day imagine every fucking joke you make or every 0.96

00:47:21.400 time you go to open your mouth you're like you have to make 46 000 micro calculations of who 0.99

00:47:25.980 you might possibly piss off it is the saddest existence i've ever experienced or thought of

00:47:32.700 in my entire being on this planet like it's just it it makes life unfun i know well i mean and then 0.53

00:47:38.900 but i think you just gotta just just just just be fun like i think if you're funny or if you get

00:47:44.680 good at being funny like the funnier you are the the the more you can go into certain things you

00:47:49.180 know everybody people know you like we go on the road and i'll do comedy in front of people and

00:47:53.920 they know i i know where the line is i know you can't go or like nobody's doing slurs on stage

00:48:00.120 nope that nobody's laughing unless you are a unless you are a black or well yeah but it's

00:48:04.860 also like audiences are not into that anymore so like the idea of like people like you talk to 0.73

00:48:11.380 people that are the woke people and they're like well these comedians are going out they're being

00:48:14.920 hateful i'm like no the only things that people are doing on stage are either so absurd or

00:48:18.960 ridiculous or people get that they're ironic people understand it it's not these comedy shows

00:48:23.420 man they're comedy shows they're not hate rallies people just want to laugh they want to laugh at 0.99

00:48:27.460 ridiculous stuff you said you said that the funnier you are the more you might be able to get away

00:48:33.520 with of course that's why dave chappelle does it very well because he's a master of what he does 0.87

00:48:37.720 but then it's almost just another micro calculation am i funny enough to make this joke yeah i think

00:48:42.980 i am but am i but what if this person gets offended but you can you know what that's why

00:48:46.700 the internet exists you can do your own thing look at alex jones maybe the funniest comedian ever

00:48:50.860 you know he is maybe one of the funniest people he's funnier i mean how about this lily sing

00:48:56.820 bye jones that show would go insane i watch that every night i drive 150 miles an hour to get home

00:49:04.300 to turn the tv on killing families don't care i need to see alex every single night that he's on

00:49:09.340 doesn't mean i agree with him doesn't mean i'm gonna turn the tv off and be like well he made 0.99

00:49:12.840 a good point problem is he won't do it because he's making so much fucking money off his own 0.86

00:49:16.760 private gig well why would he have a why would he have me well he probably would he would absolutely 0.92

00:49:21.460 do it first of all let me tell you right now he'd be on a plane tomorrow uh no he would never be

00:49:27.000 allowed to do it but it's like let mainstream stuff die because it will and the stuff that

00:49:31.400 you guys are doing and the stuff that other people are doing becomes a new mainstream

00:49:34.460 yeah you know i mean that's just it you know and i wish lily luck like i don't hate i have

00:49:40.680 Not negative about her, but your best friend.

00:49:42.920 She's my greatest friend.

00:49:46.320 But she was my math tutor growing up.

00:49:48.000 The point is that she, I mean, the show is rough.

00:49:53.120 It's a rough show. 0.99

00:49:54.900 It's rough to watch.

00:49:56.900 I mean, listen, dude, a lot of people make mistakes.

00:49:58.780 Sebastian Maniscalco is one of the best comedians

00:50:00.360 that's ever lived, right?

00:50:01.280 Amazing.

00:50:02.060 But, you know, it's like the MTV Music Awards.

00:50:03.840 It's like not his crowd, right?

00:50:05.380 So he goes into the MTV Music Awards.

00:50:07.040 It's not his crowd.

00:50:09.200 It's like, you know, 15.

00:50:10.320 it didn't work it didn't really go over because it's just like you know these are 16 year old

00:50:14.280 kids you know no yeah little zen is not the audience for sebastian meniscalco that's just

00:50:19.860 not the way but i love sebastian yeah like i'm just above the cusp of what is his audience or

00:50:26.060 i i think that in a in a in a music award show where people are there because they're fans of

00:50:32.200 of music and they are not necessarily fans of comedy at all they just don't know you know

00:50:37.020 sebastian is in and is an amazing comic but it's well out of his comfort zone right that's why he

00:50:41.600 did it and that you know but if you look at it you're kind of like oh yeah this just underscores

00:50:47.600 how fractious everything is now oh like there because he sells at madison square garden four

00:50:52.700 nights in a row yeah you know he he's one of the most successful comics and he's the bat you watch

00:50:56.820 him he's amazing yeah but it's just like dude no matter how good you are now you're not going to be

00:51:01.080 for everybody is that his fault for taking the job or i think it's anyone's fault i just think

00:51:05.660 it's like you're never going to be for everybody you know i mean i he right well i mean he should

00:51:12.460 have went at them you know he should have just started roasting them and insulting them saying

00:51:16.760 you know be like lizzo's in the back putting on her diabetic boots you know she's gonna explode

00:51:23.020 you know things like that what is migos who are they i don't even know what it is is it a restaurant

00:51:28.600 i met him once um he's a good dude yeah he's a good dude the one thing stuck out to me more than

00:51:33.980 anything though i noticed i noticed how big his head was i didn't know that i mean whoo he just

00:51:39.920 got a big old head and uh i think that's part of the reason why he's so successful his his 0.95

00:51:44.440 facial expressions are so big he's very animated animated as fuck and i heard in hollywood the 0.99

00:51:50.380 bigger uh the big head eyes mouth nose ears anything the bigger you can be and the more 0.98

00:51:57.020 character like like who knows yeah you're gonna be good he looks kind of like a caricature of

00:52:01.560 himself he's like he's a very animated guy but it's also like he's talking about family and

00:52:06.360 there's like you know kids in the audience that are just on molly they're like what's a family

00:52:09.760 yeah i have no idea what a family is they're like what is a family like well i've never had one i've

00:52:14.540 never met one nobody i like has one what is it you know you mean like a rat family of 40 people

00:52:21.380 like is that is that amigos is that what that is yeah i mean so so no matter how good you are dude

00:52:27.380 It's just, it won't be for everybody.

00:52:29.000 Speaking of kids, you did a podcast, How to Be Popular.

00:52:31.800 Yeah, that was a big one.

00:52:33.020 People like that.

00:52:33.920 Can you do an updated version for adulthood, specifically in Hollywood?

00:52:37.720 Oh, I mean, sacrifice children, you know?

00:52:41.580 I mean, lie, cheat, steal, divorce yourself from any sense of truth or honor.

00:52:45.680 It'll work.

00:52:46.400 Right now, is that still the method, right?

00:52:48.460 That was, I mean, listen.

00:52:49.460 I thought it was right now.

00:52:50.280 It's like, go vegan.

00:52:51.560 I mean, sure, you could do, here's how to really get big in Hollywood.

00:52:54.580 don't don't have any innate sense of what is and isn't right or good and if you don't have an

00:53:02.300 innate sense of what is right and what is good you could kind of do whatever you can take the

00:53:07.440 temperature of whatever people want you to do make yourself that yeah some of the most successful

00:53:11.300 people i know they're like liquid they take the shape of their container so whatever like if it's

00:53:15.480 woke time it's woke time three years ago these people were you know calling everybody this word

00:53:20.860 and that word but now they're woke and then in three years if woke stuff relaxes they're gonna

00:53:24.720 be like well we're good we don't we're not marching anymore because that's not the deal

00:53:28.560 so i think that's a that's a big way to succeed here it's a city of shapeshifters it's a city of

00:53:33.580 people because it's all about being cool right it's all about being relevant and and what's

00:53:37.440 relevant right now is being i mean you even see the kids from stranger things like tweeting like

00:53:42.060 social justice you know and it's like they just feel the pressure because they're looking at

00:53:45.840 other people in their orbit and they're like yeah okay and it's like the greta thunberg girl

00:53:50.740 um there's people that are like she's so great but they're also on private jets like these are

00:53:56.560 people that take private jets and they're like this girl's great listen she made some valid

00:54:00.400 points but she was a little creepy it was a creepy speech i don't know if you saw it

00:54:04.220 unfortunately don't know how much we could talk i've watched it five yeah it was it was too much

00:54:10.360 you know so so the the the normal reaction to that from a human being that just turned on their tv

00:54:15.560 was like what like yeah okay but is she okay like that was a normal reaction like what's going on

00:54:22.020 she's like my childhood you're like this is this is very odd you know i wanted her to go the full

00:54:27.620 thing and just throw out conspiracies you know you killed jeffrey emcee in the cell and then you come

00:54:34.160 to us and ask us it's like wait a minute okay now it's getting good some are saying she's like a

00:54:39.820 like a plant of some sort no man i don't listen here's the deal others are saying that she's

00:54:44.420 actually golem from the lord of the rings i did it well that's i did a video on on instagram and

00:54:50.480 put it out on twitter i have to cut i just did an i pretended to be an agent for like these kids and

00:54:55.140 it was just wasn't making fun of these kids which is making fun of agents yeah like the idea that

00:54:58.320 you'd be an agent for a child activist you know and you just represented all these people it's

00:55:02.220 like can you get david hogg on the phone we sent 30 pairs of sneakers to his dorm you know i need

00:55:06.860 this guy you know because this is agent who was like malala went with a competitor you haven't

00:55:11.500 heard her name in two years then it was like malala you got to come out as non-binary if you 0.97

00:55:15.120 want heat now no one cares about landmines honey nobody gives a shit about clean water it's about 0.91

00:55:19.600 guns and climate you know so there are people behind these doesn't mean the kids are wrong

00:55:23.760 there's people behind them there's a machine it's the way it is do they build them or do they see

00:55:28.640 opportunities and then promote them i don't think anybody needs to get built i think people show up

00:55:32.920 it's like listen people get cast think about it like a movie right people get cast in a role but

00:55:37.080 How many people show up wanting the role?

00:55:39.640 A lot of people.

00:55:40.760 You don't have to go get somebody and kidnap them and go, hey, be this thing.

00:55:43.640 Well, because there's conspiracies that some of these anti-gun kids are actually lab-grown.

00:55:47.780 Well, here's the thing.

00:55:48.500 Some of them, they'll try them out, and then it'll come out that they were like, wait a minute.

00:55:52.680 You said the N-word on Xbox Live, and it's like, you're out.

00:55:55.620 And then they find a kid who's more pristine.

00:55:58.660 And, you know, I mean.

00:55:59.580 Like Kyle Kashuv.

00:56:00.640 Kyle Kashuv is out.

00:56:01.860 They tried, you know, the NRA.

00:56:03.140 Canceled.

00:56:03.400 They tried, but Kyle was apparently, you know, getting a little wild on Xbox Live.

00:56:08.500 Just letting it fly.

00:56:10.220 Kyle was letting it fly.

00:56:11.800 And, you know, he was a little comfortable.

00:56:13.960 You know who loves Kyle Kashuv?

00:56:15.240 I don't know.

00:56:15.920 Alex Jones.

00:56:17.000 And also Ben Shapiro.

00:56:18.320 What a fun dinner, huh?

00:56:19.920 Alex, Ben, and Kyle Kashuv.

00:56:22.300 A fun kosher barbecue dinner.

00:56:24.600 But Ben and Alex don't like each other.

00:56:28.240 So it's a mix.

00:56:29.020 You got to be careful how you mix those kind of people up.

00:56:31.660 Yeah.

00:56:32.260 Well, yeah.

00:56:33.000 it's wild man i mean i love the people that you've been having on because i think it's so cool that

00:56:36.780 you guys have all of these different people on like when i saw ben shapiro on here i was like

00:56:40.140 this is and you did a better interview of alex jones i'll tell you this than 99 of people that 0.89

00:56:45.240 have interviewed him oh shit because you get the internet and people don't and people don't

00:56:49.280 understand like what he's doing i i think a lot of what he says has validity to it and some of it 0.97

00:56:53.980 is like you know come on it's a little it's performative but you got you kind of got him

00:56:59.260 because you were just like, come on, man.

00:57:01.140 It's a thing, right?

00:57:02.280 You're like doing a thing.

00:57:03.500 Yeah, I tried to humanize him a little bit.

00:57:06.780 That was the goal, to try to understand

00:57:08.340 why he is the way he is

00:57:10.080 rather than necessarily his logic or his political thinking.

00:57:13.340 Everybody's heard his script.

00:57:14.440 I want to ask you an opinion, actually,

00:57:16.900 because we caught some flack for that episode, obviously,

00:57:19.120 for giving Alex Jones a platform.

00:57:21.080 Our podcast got, like, what, 600,000 views or so.

00:57:23.500 Of course. 0.99

00:57:24.420 But Rogan does the same shit, 12 million views. 1.00

00:57:27.480 He gets flack. 0.99

00:57:28.120 he gets serious flack he gets serious flack i wonder if he catches heat from the higher ups

00:57:33.080 the powers that be i think that's the kind of flack we're getting listen man he'll catch flack

00:57:36.880 for it but you know he's had a lot of people on his show that are controversial but he does these

00:57:40.400 long-form amazing interviews and listen man you watch the he's doing something that the media has

00:57:45.820 failed to do right yeah you watch the you know he had bernie sanders on how many people watch that

00:57:50.620 and we're now more like oh bernie sanders is an interesting guy who has a lot of beliefs that

00:57:55.340 make sense to me and the only other time you saw him is like these two minute sound bites on a

00:57:59.820 debate or on the news so rogan's doing a thing the reason that rogan catches a lot of flack is like

00:58:04.320 he's doing like so much better and he's so much more relevant than this old media that's like

00:58:10.900 dying yeah but a lot of people just you know alex jones the sandy hook thing people have valid

00:58:15.260 gripes and they're angry it's just at what point is there any level of redemption yeah that's you

00:58:20.460 know i i i definitely envy joe rogan and maybe it's like a age and experience thing and wisdom

00:58:26.080 thing but i admire his ability to stay in his lane and just and just go full throttle and well

00:58:30.600 he's also known alex for a long time uh yeah you know he's known him for a long time he's been with

00:58:34.580 him he was with him when he was the enemy of the right wing and they all hated him because he he

00:58:38.300 knew him when he was you know george w bush was in power and alex was you know out there talking

00:58:44.140 about the iraq war 9-11 yeah so to see the pendulum swing dude and i've only seen it

00:58:50.380 And I'm only 34, but like the idea of seeing like, like left-wing people being like, we, we, now they like love the CIA because CIA doesn't like Trump.

00:58:58.920 But when I was growing up during the Iraq war, they're like the CIA and the FBI, they're all liars.

00:59:03.980 And now they, so it's like, nobody has any values.

00:59:06.580 Everybody's just blowing in the wind.

00:59:08.000 Gotcha.

00:59:08.260 Because that, once again, like what point do you just open up a, an orange stand on the side of the wand and just.

00:59:14.700 Well, there's a lot of people doing that already.

00:59:16.400 That's happening.

00:59:17.120 I mean, there's a, you'd have to ask them, but there's, you'd have to pull over and ask.

00:59:20.180 a guy with an orange stand and he'd be like, okay. And you'd be like, at what point during

00:59:25.160 the political, uh, geopolitical climate, what point did you decide the media landscape was

00:59:30.680 too punishing and that you wanted to sell fruit on the side of the road? Okay. What was

00:59:35.260 it? And he might be like, Chelsea Handler documentary. That was it. Juicy small A. I

00:59:40.400 just can't. Doja cat. Too much for me. I got a segment here. We do segments on this

00:59:45.420 show. Uh, I wanted to get your thoughts on some things. Cause I like your thoughts.

00:59:50.180 Thank you.

00:59:50.780 It's called Tim Dillon.

00:59:52.360 Thoughts on?

00:59:53.620 Uh-oh. 1.00

00:59:54.520 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:59:55.140 That's great. 0.99

00:59:55.480 So I'm just going to show you some stuff.

00:59:56.680 Yeah.

00:59:56.900 It'd be cool to hear what you think.

01:00:00.160 Instagram and Instagram models. 0.96

01:00:02.180 The butt models. 1.00

01:00:04.040 Insta-hoes. 1.00

01:00:04.560 They're called. 1.00

01:00:05.740 I mean, they're making a living.

01:00:07.020 I live right by that pink wall, right?

01:00:08.960 Oh, no!

01:00:09.800 I live right over there.

01:00:10.900 On Melrose?

01:00:12.160 Right on Melrose.

01:00:13.460 They charge an admission there?

01:00:14.880 I don't know, but there's a security guard there, which I think is great.

01:00:17.080 Yeah.

01:00:17.240 Because there's no security guards outside nursing homes. 0.83

01:00:19.440 you ever think you'd see a day they're just the elderly do what you need to go in there rob them

01:00:24.220 hook up whatever you want but these are our influencers they'll be treated with respect 0.98

01:00:28.240 you think you'd ever see a day when a wall would get more action than a fucking amusement park i 0.95

01:00:32.420 mean dude it's crazy but we did a video in front of it it was kind of funny we just talked to some 0.94

01:00:35.820 of these girls i mean they're all they're all pretending they're not really there like all

01:00:39.200 these instagram models pretend they have this self-awareness but they they're they're like 0.98

01:00:42.800 this is the satire on late stage capitalism but here's my tits just in case like they're all 0.95

01:00:49.380 they're trying to divorce themselves from what's happening you know they're like oh my god i can't 0.99

01:00:53.800 believe i'm really here but here i am nobody owns it nobody's just like i'm a whore you know 0.86

01:01:00.020 everybody's like it's a you know we're doing we're just satirizing the type of person who would be 0.99

01:01:05.500 here you know with their ass out but i'm here with my ass out so it's one of those things where it's 0.95

01:01:11.520 like you know a lot of them that i've talked to they it's weird well and their audience is all 1.00

01:01:16.020 horny men who are too stupid to read between the lines when the tits come out yeah so they're like 0.99

01:01:20.060 wow maybe she really does care about geopolitical you know it's a real uh it's a real smart audience 1.00

01:01:25.800 that expects a lot you know uh youtube and youtubers i mean they're so diverse now right

01:01:32.780 because you have you guys and then you have people you have like the people that eat cereal

01:01:36.460 you have the mukbang people you have the people that open presents i mean i think there is a prop

01:01:41.860 Like, it is a product. 1.00

01:01:43.280 Like, I look at what's on YouTube, and I'm like, this is not good.

01:01:45.960 Like, I see somebody opening a present, and there's 30 million people that are like, I wish I had a present.

01:01:50.600 I'm like, how bad is it out there?

01:01:52.500 I watched a new documentary on influencers.

01:01:55.420 It was on Hulu.

01:01:56.440 It was called Jawline.

01:01:57.780 And all these girls, you know the MagCon guys, like all the girls that were going to see them, I thought these girls just thought they were hot.

01:02:04.500 But a lot of these girls, it was so sad.

01:02:06.120 They're like, my mother works three jobs.

01:02:08.120 I don't have a father.

01:02:09.440 These are the only people that tell me not to kill my son.

01:02:11.580 And I'm like, oh my, I was like so sad.

01:02:13.380 I'm like, I had no idea how bad it was out there.

01:02:16.300 I thought you just wanted to, you thought they were cute.

01:02:18.940 No, Taylor Kniffer is these girls' role model.

01:02:21.440 I thought they thought he was cute.

01:02:22.840 They're like, they're the only people that say, don't cut yourself, go to school.

01:02:25.440 I'm like, what is going on?

01:02:27.580 So I don't know, man.

01:02:28.480 It's a, I think it's, it's, there's a lot of trouble.

01:02:32.060 We're in trouble as a country.

01:02:33.580 I mean, we're in some trouble.

01:02:35.200 Is it just the country or is it the world?

01:02:37.940 No, it's everything.

01:02:39.020 It's the whole planet, you know?

01:02:40.320 but i mean i get a view of this country but yeah the youtube thing uh there's like girls that are 0.99

01:02:45.520 800 pounds me and ben the other day my producer just watched a a very large woman eat a whole 0.52

01:02:50.160 chicken bones and all i don't know what she did with the bones great question how many views 1.00

01:02:55.540 hundreds of thousands she's just a very large woman eating a whole chicken i just try to

01:03:00.700 understand like what is what's going on what's wrong with us something's wrong dude are we 0.96

01:03:05.040 fucked i don't know but it it it it ain't great and if you go on youtube it's not great but do 0.87

01:03:14.340 you know any influencers that are like lower level guys that are trying to get on and it's very sad 0.96

01:03:18.580 like guys are like yeah it's so sad it's like it's also sad yeah well because they're not they're not

01:03:23.820 do nowadays they're not doing it for love of creating you have the the occasion the barrier

01:03:28.720 to entry right now is and that was what the mad con guys were doing the love of creating no

01:03:32.380 can you tell yeah that was cameron dallas the love of creating yeah no jumping on a bed

01:03:37.640 getting likes and being famous and making that's awesome there's nothing wrong with that i think 0.98

01:03:41.940 it's very cool yeah yeah it just gets old and then you're fucked and now you're yeah but like 0.85

01:03:46.220 cameron became a model like some people become another thing right some people are smart enough 0.98

01:03:50.340 to like parlay into something else yeah all right nightclubs there's mike by the way oh my god uh

01:03:56.000 this was last night by the way i like i when i was when i was younger i was selling mortgages

01:04:01.300 And we used to go into New York city and go to like these nightclubs.

01:04:04.200 And my boss was like a 24 year old guy who used to sell cocaine,

01:04:07.720 but then was selling subprime mortgages.

01:04:09.100 You have the aesthetic of everyone in my office.

01:04:10.920 I'm from there.

01:04:11.460 You have the aesthetic of every friend I had before I was 28.

01:04:14.500 And we would go to these clubs like guest house and home in New York city.

01:04:19.000 I mean,

01:04:19.240 it was like 2000 and what I like 2006 or whatever.

01:04:21.860 And it was fun,

01:04:22.660 dude. 0.99

01:04:22.760 It was fun to just get fucked up at nightclub, 0.98

01:04:24.360 but it's like now because I'm a comedian and I just go to the mall, 0.92

01:04:26.880 like the last place I'd ever want to be is like a,

01:04:29.780 And it just, it's not my thing.

01:04:31.520 Yeah.

01:04:31.760 I mean, I would go, but it's not, it's not an arena where I'm like, you know, like I'm never like, I just like silence and quiet.

01:04:40.600 Like when I get out of a comedy club, I'm like, let me just take a walk down a quiet street.

01:04:44.420 You'd think the same thing about Guy Fieri.

01:04:46.660 It's not the case.

01:04:47.400 Yeah.

01:04:47.800 No, he loves Nightclub.

01:04:48.840 Oh yeah.

01:04:49.200 Well, that's, yeah.

01:04:49.800 Well, he's cool.

01:04:50.700 You know, I'm not as cool as him.

01:04:52.320 You guys, you guys are the same age.

01:04:54.300 There's two types of overweight guys in LA.

01:04:55.840 There's guys that maybe do comedy

01:04:57.940 And then there's guys that manage rappers

01:04:59.840 Oh, we know some of those

01:05:02.000 You know, they're chubby guys

01:05:03.920 That wear like Adidas suits

01:05:05.640 And they manage rappers

01:05:06.560 And they love nightclubs

01:05:07.940 And they love brunch

01:05:09.260 They also love brunch

01:05:11.040 That's big here in general

01:05:12.440 You know who I think of when he says that?

01:05:14.400 Murda Murph

01:05:14.940 The tracksuit

01:05:16.920 Murda Murph's great, shout out Murda Murph

01:05:19.020 I don't know Murph, but I'm sure I also enjoy you

01:05:22.160 He got shot through both femurs

01:05:25.680 Well, that is unfortunate, Murph, and you got to have better friends, maybe.

01:05:29.080 I don't know, but, you know, you got to look at your social settings.

01:05:32.820 When you call yourself Murder Murph, I guess this is the life you live, right?

01:05:37.400 I don't call myself Murder Tim because I don't, you know. 1.00

01:05:39.980 Yeah, you don't want to manifest the shit. 0.99

01:05:42.220 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:42.840 Cat Williams versus Kevin Hart.

01:05:44.760 Personally, I'm a Cat Williams guy, but they're both the greatest comedians.

01:05:47.520 I mean, they're both amazing.

01:05:48.800 I just love Cat Williams.

01:05:50.880 Hey, what happened to him?

01:05:52.460 Cat?

01:05:52.880 Yeah.

01:05:53.200 I don't know him, so I don't know.

01:05:54.720 so I don't really I don't know I mean I think he's had some he's still one of the funniest people on

01:05:58.680 earth yeah um but I mean he's had some things you know I don't know if it's drugs I don't know if

01:06:03.440 it's whatever it is I don't like to say what it is I don't know but I know I knew a guy that used 0.73

01:06:07.940 to open for him and every now and then uh it was like it was hilarious he was like a white guy and

01:06:12.320 cat just like every now and then he just wouldn't show up to the show or he couldn't get there for

01:06:15.900 whatever reason and that guy my friend would just kind of have to walk back out and be like

01:06:19.360 uh it'd be like 12 000 people in an arena and my friend's like uh cat's not cat's not coming but 0.99

01:06:24.600 and then he'd have to keep doing jokes he'd be like so my bitch is like and they were like wait

01:06:29.060 a minute damn so but yeah cat williams to me is like i don't know if there's anyone that makes 0.96

01:06:33.340 me laugh more than him he is funny i think he might be the one that makes me laugh the most 0.56

01:06:38.020 louis ck one of the funniest comedians ever he's back he's being funny he should be allowed to be

01:06:43.860 funny enough enough enough leave him oh he's back he's back doing shows i mean he's one of the

01:06:49.080 greatest comedians that's ever lived um i don't know i'm not saying that everything he did was

01:06:54.880 appropriate in fact a lot of it wasn't i'm sure he would say a lot of it wasn't but like at the

01:06:59.420 end of the day you know this goes back to that redemption thing it's like this is a guy that

01:07:05.680 you know is incredibly talented and you know what exactly is uh you know his detractors and the

01:07:14.300 people that don't think he should work i mean is that you know is is the idea that you know there

01:07:19.280 are people that have murdered people that get out and get jobs so the idea that he should not have

01:07:23.180 a livelihood or she he shouldn't have any career he shouldn't be able to perform ever i don't you

01:07:27.160 know yo i find i think about this often too there are rappers uh i'll use uh ynw melly as an example

01:07:34.120 who allegedly shot and killed his two best friends in the car and then drove to the hospital and try

01:07:39.780 to stage it as a drive-by and he gets put in jail and there's hashtag free melly tweets right and

01:07:46.160 by the way he's he's charting like top top 50 right now really do anything i mean rappers can

01:07:50.460 do anything and their fans are like it's okay oh murder they'll be like you'll be like he shot his 0.98

01:07:55.920 daughter in the face he'd be like yeah but his new shit is fire you know that's why that's why 0.99

01:08:00.620 i think six nine if he gets out we'll still pop yeah it used to be it used to be killing was okay 0.99

01:08:05.560 but snitching was a no-go.

01:08:07.300 Yeah.

01:08:07.660 But now snitching, I mean, the 6'9 thing, I mean, you can't do that.

01:08:11.460 Well, no, according to him, he thinks he's going to get out

01:08:13.940 and just re-pump that whole career going again.

01:08:16.100 You don't think there's a comeback for 6'9"?

01:08:17.740 I mean, I hope.

01:08:19.120 I mean, there's no street cred left there.

01:08:20.860 I don't think you need street cred.

01:08:22.480 I don't think it matters, dude.

01:08:23.640 You have rainbow hair and face tags.

01:08:25.180 You just got to be woke.

01:08:26.580 Another thing was, too, people were like, oh, he's going to get out

01:08:29.200 and go into witness protection.

01:08:31.400 I saw someone on Twitter say, witness protection, what's he going to do?

01:08:34.400 change the 6'9 to a 6'8?

01:08:36.120 How do you change your face

01:08:38.500 tattoo? He has a very distinct

01:08:40.460 look. Yeah, yeah. He's a very

01:08:42.280 definitive look. Shawn Mendes

01:08:44.240 and Camelia. We got a note from

01:08:46.380 the producer. Shawn Mendes and Camelia.

01:08:48.000 I think about these guys so much.

01:08:50.300 Both people. I mean, it's so important

01:08:52.480 to know what they're up to.

01:08:54.220 Wait, don't show them. Do you know who either of these people are?

01:08:56.340 I know exactly who they are. I'm not like out

01:08:58.340 of it, you know? Shawn Mendes

01:09:00.440 is the guy that a lot of gay people 0.96

01:09:02.340 wish was gay, right? They're always like, 0.67

01:09:04.400 Who wishes to be gay. 0.99

01:09:05.380 And then Camilla is another, Camilla Cabello, right? 1.00

01:09:09.420 Yeah, I think so. 0.53

01:09:10.200 And she's got that song about Havana.

01:09:11.780 I'm in Havana.

01:09:13.220 I love Castro.

01:09:15.200 And he's fun.

01:09:17.320 What are my thoughts?

01:09:18.300 I mean, they're hot.

01:09:19.440 They're young. 1.00

01:09:19.880 They're fucking. 1.00

01:09:20.520 They're rich. 1.00

01:09:21.740 Is there any, I mean, what's the.

01:09:23.600 I don't know.

01:09:24.060 I actually don't know.

01:09:24.600 Are they implicated in something I should know about?

01:09:26.720 Supposedly.

01:09:27.100 Well, I guess it was very funny about it.

01:09:28.780 Oh, what did I say?

01:09:30.100 Oh.

01:09:31.060 Oh, you have thoughts.

01:09:31.740 It was a quick, it was quick.

01:09:33.060 Oh, I said.

01:09:33.600 they made a weird video

01:09:35.300 recently like making out

01:09:36.520 maybe you were talking

01:09:37.060 about that

01:09:37.560 I might have been doing

01:09:38.280 the thing that people

01:09:39.440 I don't know

01:09:40.320 I was maybe imitating

01:09:41.600 Sebastian or something 0.93

01:09:42.480 I was saying he was gay 0.75

01:09:43.280 I think 1.00

01:09:43.580 Sebastian Maniscalco

01:09:44.520 just flipped out

01:09:45.240 at the VMA

01:09:46.060 just started yelling at him

01:09:47.040 but I mean there's a lot

01:09:48.340 of closeted dudes

01:09:49.420 in Hollywood I'm sure

01:09:50.280 oh yeah

01:09:51.020 yeah there's a lot

01:09:51.720 of stuff going on

01:09:52.460 you know

01:09:52.920 but I'm sure that's a genuine

01:09:54.560 I'm sure that relationship

01:09:55.380 is genuine

01:09:55.880 and I hope

01:09:57.060 I wish them

01:09:57.620 the best of luck

01:09:58.920 yeah

01:09:59.780 you know him right

01:10:02.300 you know him 0.99

01:10:02.760 i know no well you don't know okay no how are any of the mad con dudes gay dudes 0.96

01:10:10.920 i would assume okay or bisexual yeah for sure there's a lot of sure sure there's some high

01:10:17.780 profile names in this city yeah that i've been hearing about recently that i would never mention

01:10:22.540 mac mac mac brought like one of them up to me the other day and i was like yo you didn't know

01:10:27.000 like and here here's common knowledge and i mean like the biggest names it's it's you think it's

01:10:31.960 a problem being closeted no i don't care what people do i just i i think to me as a comedian

01:10:37.680 the type of comedy i do i want i i just i'm like listen i i don't want somebody lying to me

01:10:44.480 that does my type of comedy but if you're an actor i really don't care what you do

01:10:49.060 i don't care who you are when you leave that's why i don't care what your politics are

01:10:52.500 i when you're done with being an actor i don't care who you are i don't want to see jimmy fallon 0.74

01:10:57.060 interview you i don't need to see you make small talk i don't need to know you're sleeping with i

01:11:01.280 don't need to know what your political views are i don't care what you had for lunch but do you

01:11:04.360 think by not uh by withholding that information you're furthering the progression of the lgbtq

01:11:10.640 movement potentially but that's on them that's when that's your own personal thing like i wouldn't be

01:11:14.980 okay lying to fans okay i wouldn't be okay lying to people that but if you're okay with that then

01:11:21.360 that's cool i'm sure people are lying about a lot other more more stuff than that you know

01:11:26.040 all right let's do audio only it's like this but it's okay yeah it's audio

01:11:30.840 okay i don't know what that is it's exclusive on spotify and itunes for the avid avid listeners

01:11:38.600 good uh but yo tim dylan thank you for coming on bro yeah i had a lot of fun man i appreciate it

01:11:42.520 thank you guys tim dylan dylan everybody where can they find you on social uh tim j dylan d-i-l-l-o-n

01:11:47.380 on instagram and uh tim j dylan t-i-m-j-d-i-l-l-o-n on twitter same handle on instagram and twitter

01:11:53.240 and get me there big facts hit that subscribe button guys right now exclusive audio only

01:11:58.480 interview with tim dylan on spotify and itunes thank you for listening to impulsive the number

01:12:02.180 one podcast in the world peace i was still here man here comes a question imdb says upcoming

01:12:09.500 project untitled tim dylan project is that one of those imdb errors or do you have an untitled

01:12:14.880 i do but i mean it's like i mean i think that's probably everyone in this town has an untitled

01:12:18.920 project you ever you ever you ever do acting i did a few things i mean i i've been on some some

01:12:23.900 shows and like comedy central things like that um i don't do a ton of like you strike me as a

01:12:29.300 comedy actor like even like a snl sketch type of well we know that's not i appreciate that uh but

01:12:37.380 yeah man i mean i i'm not against it i go out for auditions and stuff you know what about mad

01:12:41.560 remember mad tv great is that still that's already lang yeah brian callen who's a friend of mine was

01:12:46.120 great comedian was on mad tv yeah i loved mad tv man you would be mad tv i think so i mean i'm into

01:12:51.840 that i mean i'm into actually making another sketch show because i do these sketches like on

01:12:56.700 on my instagram they're really funny i put a little funny videos on twitter some of them blow

01:13:00.020 up and they're just funny videos like but it's hard to see them on network tv right it's hard

01:13:04.900 to see me imitating megan mccain and you know saying some crazy shit going on network tv but

01:13:09.280 i think you'd have to find people and there's actually comedians talking about it now like 0.87

01:13:12.740 what would it take to put together

01:13:14.560 like a YouTube exclusive 30 minute

01:13:16.460 sketch show. Yeah. Like a

01:13:18.700 weekly sketch show. It's kind of an interesting idea

01:13:20.520 and people kind of brought that up. I don't know how

01:13:22.580 serious people are because the thing with comedians is

01:13:24.600 we're all doing our own things. Yeah. I'm leaving this

01:13:26.540 I'm getting on a plane with like Bert Kreischer and doing a tour

01:13:28.600 with him for a week and then I'm back here

01:13:30.440 and then I'm doing my own show. It's like

01:13:32.240 so we're all in our own world but like if

01:13:34.500 you would have put a bunch of us together I think we

01:13:36.500 could get make a really cool thing. Yeah for sure.

01:13:38.800 100%. Hannah's stocking and shots

01:13:40.840 Hannah's putting out

01:13:42.460 a new show she put a teaser out yesterday that she claims is going to be sketch based with that

01:13:48.220 whole squad but she's not she's not a comedian facts you know i mean some of them would like

01:13:53.200 to imagine they they're quite funny though i would like to imagine i have wings i've been

01:13:57.040 i've literally been trying to fly since i was fun i love that like i would i mean i think that uh

01:14:02.940 could the the definition of comedian as a lot is broad it's like i mean it shouldn't be i mean

01:14:09.400 Well, there's a lot of people that are like, hey, I'm funny.

01:14:11.380 Let me give it a shot.

01:14:12.300 You don't have to be a stand-up.

01:14:13.540 You can be a whatever.

01:14:14.900 Podcast.

01:14:15.580 Yeah, you can do a podcast, and there's some very funny people in there.

01:14:18.040 Who knows?

01:14:18.620 But there's also a lot of unfunny people that say the right things and make money.

01:14:23.680 Hell, yeah.

01:14:24.340 Yeah.

01:14:24.980 He asked you about acting.

01:14:26.580 Yeah.

01:14:26.940 What about acid?

01:14:29.240 I did acid.

01:14:30.020 I mean, one of the first times I did acid was on – I was in eighth grade,

01:14:34.060 and my friend and me dropped tabs of acid on the eighth grade graduation stage.

01:14:36.960 Oh, you started early.

01:14:38.020 Yeah, dude, I was going to blow young.

01:14:39.480 I was wild.

01:14:40.160 I was wild from like 13 to 25.

01:14:42.420 That was your range.

01:14:43.480 Mine was 18 to 26.

01:14:44.940 Yeah, it was my range.

01:14:45.680 I got clean in 26.

01:14:47.120 And, you know, and I did, we did like a tab of acid each.

01:14:51.580 And we're like, all right, well, this is ending in five minutes.

01:14:53.300 Because what could an eighth grade valedictorian have to say? 1.00

01:14:55.280 Well, this bitch got up and was like, you know, when my family came to America, I'm like, you're German. 1.00

01:15:02.100 What are you saying? 1.00

01:15:03.540 What is this?

01:15:04.280 You're from Queens.

01:15:05.120 What are you talking about? 0.95

01:15:06.440 He's a shot.

01:15:07.280 And it was wild, and it was wild.

01:15:10.040 But then, you know, it was fun.

01:15:11.880 I used to love doing that.

01:15:13.360 Shrooms, acid.

01:15:14.420 Acid, really?

01:15:15.200 Yeah, it was fun.

01:15:15.540 Did you set intentions?

01:15:16.960 Because nowadays, the big thing is you've got to set intentions first. 0.99

01:15:20.180 Oh, the ayahuasca and all that shit. 0.98

01:15:21.320 Wait, where were you from? 1.00

01:15:22.400 Long Island.

01:15:23.040 So I'm from Connecticut.

01:15:24.180 Yeah, so there was no intention setting.

01:15:25.560 No, no intention. 1.00

01:15:26.520 The intention was to see some weird fucking shit. 1.00

01:15:28.200 Yeah, to get fucked up. 1.00

01:15:29.020 That was the intention. 0.99

01:15:29.780 But now it's like you've got to sit in a circle,

01:15:32.480 you've got to light a couple candles,

01:15:34.060 and you've set your intentions.

01:15:35.200 So today I'm going to find out my long-term strategy for global health.

01:15:41.840 Well, this is a lot of like, you know, I think professionals from like Burbank,

01:15:46.140 and then they're going to see a shaman.

01:15:48.140 They're like, we're going to go see a shaman and do ayahuasca and Kim's backyard. 1.00

01:15:51.500 And then really focus on, you know, it's like, you're full of shit. 0.99

01:15:54.560 Has anyone, does anyone you know come away from a psychedelic trip with a life-changing revelation? 0.99

01:16:02.260 shit i i i haven't but and i mean not that i haven't but i i know people that have but let's

01:16:10.060 be honest it's never the one you set intentions for if you're like i am gonna solve world hunger 0.95

01:16:15.340 today you come out of it and you're like that's how vacuums got made in the first like it's never

01:16:19.880 the one you fucking thought it was gonna be i mean i also like wasted a lot of psychedelics 0.88

01:16:24.060 i was a dumb teenager and i was just not you know i i remember going to some bar in a town that was 0.99

01:16:29.260 like next to a really rich town and i remember being like high on acid look at one of my friends 0.98

01:16:33.360 be like these people don't have any fucking money like this is a lie like this is so that's what i 0.99

01:16:38.400 that's where i was like anytime you're on acid and you're at a bar you've already fucked up you're 0.99

01:16:42.540 already wrong you've already already wrong like you're like do you think that i can have two more 0.99

01:16:46.080 of those shots yeah like what are you doing why are you at a fucking bar but i think i think maybe 0.96

01:16:49.980 if i'd waited but no listen the one thing i did from psychedelics i remember taking shrooms i 0.98

01:16:53.480 remember being like oh everything that is like everything is learned that was just like the big

01:16:58.540 general thing that everyone takes out of it like oh everything that i've ever been told isn't set

01:17:02.820 in stone it's learned it's acquired it could be wrong and the only things that are real we're all 0.72

01:17:08.620 sitting on a beach me and a bunch of my friends i'm like the water the sand all this shit is real

01:17:12.440 those are the only things that are actually real and all the information i've ever been told is

01:17:17.420 just complete you know knowledge that somebody else has given to me none of it was acquired on

01:17:21.720 my own type of thing i have an interesting thought that just crossed my mind when you're talking

01:17:25.480 there about some something serious that actually has like some weight to it yeah but you're a

01:17:30.180 comedian so i like i'm i'm like yo is he like joking no i mean that i mean that's true i mean

01:17:35.200 it's and it sounded true but yeah i guess the question is how often are you talking about

01:17:41.460 serious breakthroughs you've had personally occasionally and then occasionally but nobody

01:17:46.360 want like that's not what i'm good at yeah friends like in your in your real life like

01:17:50.380 how often are you being funny i'm being funny i think a lot even with friends like even though

01:17:55.120 i'm serious a lot with friends i'm still probably being funny with friends even though but what you

01:17:58.800 can't be funny all the time like you know if somebody calls me and is like oh you know my

01:18:03.160 wife has cancer i'm not like you're the thing about cancer you know i mean i'm a person but

01:18:07.880 later on am i going to try to make it funny probably because i can do that and like we're

01:18:12.640 going to laugh at horrible stuff i think that's part of what i like i bring new some of my friends

01:18:17.060 is like i'll be able to make you guys laugh about things that are that suck what's your what's your

01:18:21.220 ratio of funny to genuine and like serious i would say 70 30 funny and 30 serious what do

01:18:27.140 you think ours is not yeah maybe you think so wait sorry did you say 70 in comedy 70 trying

01:18:34.480 to be funny and being funny and then 30 i would say we're probably close because we have so much

01:18:38.360 business shit that needs to get done too and so like what we yeah i mean we're we're always laughing

01:18:42.840 but the other thing too is like i think our comedy and humor is similar to yours in that 0.87

01:18:49.360 it's a fine line yeah do you know what i'm saying like something like you you are really really good

01:18:55.400 at doing what he was just talking about i think which is like flipping the script at the last

01:18:59.120 second like you'll be talking about something i don't i'm not ready for him by the way that's

01:19:02.480 my favorite kind of comedy yeah and then it's funny yeah yeah and you're great also it's like

01:19:06.120 doing a podcast and being a podcaster i think it's important you can't just be funny for an hour yeah

01:19:09.660 you have to be like interesting funny interesting oh here's a story this is kind of funny or here's

01:19:14.480 a serious thing that has a funny part of it that you can be funny or like a setup like you talk

01:19:18.800 Yeah, 100%.

01:19:21.380 I love having you guys on because it's such good.

01:19:23.920 I appreciate it, dude.

01:19:24.560 I love being on here.

01:19:25.920 I wish I had a chain to trade. 0.99

01:19:28.000 Are you going to get in touch with Aaron Carter and be like, dude, what the fuck? 0.99

01:19:31.080 So we thought it was, we honestly thought it was going to be fake. 0.99

01:19:34.820 And we, I mean, I don't know how to say this.

01:19:37.160 We were going to jump Aaron Carter.

01:19:38.860 Yeah, listen, I agree.

01:19:41.180 Until we find out it was real.

01:19:42.480 Now we're, instead of jumping him, we're going to make a cake and deliver it to him.

01:19:45.580 but i i still lost ten thousand dollars mind you so like i do i it's not great what do i do like

01:19:51.940 i'm not i'm not gonna wear this anymore bro do i look like a dude who wears this no i don't i

01:19:55.500 don't know who wears that erin carter yeah i got 50 carats on my neck what is erin carter's deal

01:20:02.020 like what is he he's just killing it he don't manifest nothing he's just he just i'm suffering

01:20:07.040 he's suffering from some severe mental well you're assuming dude when you're a child no no yeah no

01:20:12.180 he's suffering from some severe child and you get really big as a kid like that it takes a toll i

01:20:16.300 think yeah right yeah but remember back in the day when it was like he he suffered from the old 0.86

01:20:21.820 uh days of child acting where it was just easy stuff like cocaine and shit like that now creative

01:20:27.160 people are crazy like the other night at a comedy store shia labeouf grabbed me and he was like 0.79

01:20:30.700 he he was like uh he was like that was a great set you're a genius it was like oh thank you but

01:20:36.180 like you looked in shia labeouf's eyes and i'm like oh he is like he's a brilliant guy but there's

01:20:41.220 something there like there's something there wow you know what i mean god you're like look at his

01:20:46.380 eyes you're like wow you are there's something there's something going on yeah he's one step

01:20:51.020 away from yeah who knows and i think he's in who knows i think he took the step into who knows and

01:20:55.860 he's been living in who knows like you know when you figured out that like only the beach and water

01:20:59.700 were the only real thing yeah like he went one step further and he doesn't even believe that

01:21:03.780 But those are real now.

01:21:04.440 Yeah, he's like, the beach is fake.

01:21:06.500 He's way, he's gone, dude.

01:21:08.660 Great actor.

01:21:09.600 Very talented man.

01:21:10.480 Is Jim Carrey on that wave?

01:21:13.060 Probably.

01:21:13.880 He's a brilliant guy, right?

01:21:15.060 Jim Carrey was a brilliant guy.

01:21:16.200 He's still a brilliant guy.

01:21:17.320 He's also been through some-

01:21:17.960 Enough with the paintings, though.

01:21:19.320 It's just painting people.

01:21:20.400 He's doing drawings.

01:21:21.720 Come on.

01:21:22.420 Nobody wants to. 0.99

01:21:22.800 He's been through some shit, dude. 0.99

01:21:24.480 Who was it for, Jim? 1.00

01:21:26.520 He'd tell you it's for himself, man.

01:21:28.080 Yeah, I guess that's what it is, dude.

01:21:29.320 In the universe.

01:21:29.920 Just put it on the fridge.

01:21:32.020 All right, that's it.

01:21:32.980 All right, guys.

01:21:33.460 that's it we're gonna wrap it up thanks guys yeah thank you no absolutely thank you yeah yeah

01:21:37.720 thank you guys for listening we'll see you next time

01:21:39.520 Lisa tell them about our new show we have a new podcast it's called don't lie to me

01:21:58.540 I'm Lexi Iwanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

01:22:04.100 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

01:22:08.480 occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:22:12.680 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:22:17.800 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:22:24.360 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman.

01:22:26.140 Angela Jaritana

01:22:27.080 Jeremy Culhane

01:22:27.800 Patrick McDonald

01:22:28.560 And we're the hosts of the

01:22:30.000 Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast

01:22:32.340 The Improvised Character Comedy podcast

01:22:34.360 Where each week a new panel of artists

01:22:36.660 Discuss their craft

01:22:38.200 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants

01:22:41.100 And we do a little Halloween sometimes

01:22:43.500 Does the Pope dress up?

01:22:45.100 He winks on Halloween

01:22:46.840 He gets right up next to the microphone

01:22:48.680 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other

01:22:52.060 You've never seen Italy so quiet

01:22:54.560 as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:22:57.540 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists

01:22:59.840 every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

01:23:02.040 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:23:05.040 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian,

01:23:07.880 creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

01:23:10.680 the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery,

01:23:13.460 fraud, and those who practice it.

01:23:15.080 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:23:16.960 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:23:18.140 What?

01:23:18.600 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:23:20.140 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:23:22.160 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:23:23.920 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:23:27.420 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

01:23:30.400 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:23:35.080 I'm Hamza.

01:23:36.020 And I'm Martin.

01:23:36.680 And we're the hosts of Out of Character,

01:23:38.140 the best podcast in the world, is that what they said?

01:23:40.880 Wait, they said that?

01:23:41.900 Yeah, yeah, they said that.

01:23:43.180 The best podcast with two best friends who jabber

01:23:45.980 and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff,

01:23:48.740 give our input on it.

01:23:49.840 That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener.

01:23:52.140 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:23:57.600 Sometimes I just feel like a burden.

01:23:59.220 You're a bird.

01:23:59.980 You fly.

01:24:00.680 You're a martin.

01:24:01.340 And we are Out of Character Podcast. 0.63

01:24:03.580 Dude, you messed up the clip.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - October 03, 2019

E130 TIM DILLON IS FUNNY - IMPAULSIVE EP. 130

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