Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E231 Dear Mr. President

00:00:00.260 Breaking story from Alpine News Network.

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00:00:30.480 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:33.060 We have a new podcast.

00:00:34.480 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

00:00:35.860 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

00:00:37.020 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

00:00:40.980 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

00:00:43.360 which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:45.600 occasionally different opinions.

00:00:46.920 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

00:00:49.700 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

00:00:52.720 Good Taste is my business.

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00:01:00.000 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

00:01:07.380 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

00:01:11.780 Each week, I bring on an amazing guest.

00:01:13.680 Ooh, I scammed them.

00:01:14.860 What?

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00:01:30.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're

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00:02:12.300 Which one of Josie's Victoria's Secret model girlfriends was shitting her pants on the party? 0.99

00:02:18.460 Something tells me it was the boxing idiot that's taking in 200 milligrams of protein a second right now. 1.00

00:02:29.320 welcome back 1.00

00:02:35.360 how you guys doing

00:02:39.040 that's good

00:02:39.680 welcome back to Impulsive

00:02:40.720 the number one podcast in the world

00:02:42.840 here we are

00:02:44.160 yo

00:02:44.460 hey

00:02:44.960 Caleb just showed me some data

00:02:46.420 data?

00:02:48.080 apparently it's not true

00:02:49.180 this whole time

00:02:50.920 230 episodes

00:02:52.980 don't say what I think you're about to say 0.98

00:02:55.140 don't even fucking say it 0.99

00:02:57.060 because I've heard rumblings on the internet 0.99

00:02:58.660 I've heard all kinds of different numbers

00:03:01.280 And they're not the one that's been thrown around here 0.99

00:03:03.400 What are you about to fucking say? 0.98

00:03:04.800 Nothing, I won't say it, I won't say it 1.00

00:03:06.280 Say it!

00:03:06.740 I'm not gonna say it 0.99

00:03:07.440 Just fucking say it 0.98

00:03:08.420 I won't 0.99

00:03:08.980 So many people

00:03:09.680 The streamies would indicate that we are indeed the number one podcast in the world

00:03:13.700 Joe Rogan didn't get nominated for streaming

00:03:15.640 What does the data say, Logan?

00:03:18.380 Just tell me, I need to know now

00:03:19.880 I can't put on the charade anymore

00:03:21.640 We're not

00:03:22.240 I can't muster the strength to say it

00:03:25.160 We are the number one podcast in the world 0.58

00:03:26.580 oh my god sometimes you got to celebrate the fuck-ups in life am i right that's a fact 0.99

00:03:34.280 yeah so welcome back guys what did what is happening right now george it's fucking election 0.99

00:03:38.680 day oh okay okay there's a lot of there's a lot of shit going on in this country okay but this 0.87

00:03:43.920 episode today it's gonna be great it's gonna be one of the greatest episodes ever done 0.83

00:03:48.380 what accent i don't fucking know oh man you're different it's something about you 0.69

00:03:53.220 yeah the uh there's a lot of businesses that are boarding up their walls man everywhere it's getting 0.94

00:03:58.600 crazy out here cities bro it's crazy i don't blame them i what do you what do you think's

00:04:03.060 gonna happen are the riots gonna be a cause of of trump winning or biden winning or both in both

00:04:09.560 cases buildings are being destroyed and looted my educated guess would be uh trump wins tomorrow

00:04:17.600 And then they find out that

00:04:19.620 Biden got more votes

00:04:21.440 But he didn't get the important votes 1.00

00:04:23.200 And then people are going to lose their shit 0.99

00:04:25.260 That's not how the system is set up though 0.99

00:04:27.320 So if Trump wins the electoral college

00:04:28.940 Then he wins the election

00:04:30.940 That's what I'm saying

00:04:31.480 But every time this happens

00:04:33.200 They act like they don't know about this

00:04:34.660 First of all

00:04:37.120 I hope people don't

00:04:38.660 That doesn't happen 0.99

00:04:39.700 I hope people keep their fucking calm and relaxed 0.98

00:04:42.040 I put out a tweet today 0.99

00:04:43.000 People need to learn

00:04:45.480 how to overcome, adapt, and make do

00:04:49.580 with any environment they're given in life. 0.99

00:04:51.800 Of course, go out there, fucking rock your vote. 1.00

00:04:54.120 But if your team loses, don't go bitch and cry about it. 1.00

00:04:57.520 Yeah, don't be a sore loser. 0.99

00:04:58.940 Listen, there's a lot of people out there this year 0.96

00:05:01.520 who have claimed massive losses on their businesses

00:05:05.020 because of COVID, and I get that.

00:05:07.140 But then there are a lot of real smart people out there

00:05:09.380 who capitalized off of COVID,

00:05:11.200 who realized there was a hole in the content space,

00:05:13.560 or there was a hole in...

00:05:14.700 I had friends who worked in the medical placement field who started importing masks from China.

00:05:20.020 Every downturn in life presents an opportunity for those who are wise enough to create one.

00:05:27.460 Well said.

00:05:28.380 Well said, Mike.

00:05:29.460 Absolutely.

00:05:29.840 Yeah, I want to emphasize, I want Americans to be in a place where we can keep it cordial, right?

00:05:36.700 Keep the sore loser attitude at home and respect the person that does win the presidency.

00:05:41.920 Because, after all, they are going to be the president of the United States,

00:05:44.960 the country that you live in for the next four years.

00:05:47.360 Here's the problem.

00:05:48.200 We grew up in a time where everybody got a trophy.

00:05:50.360 So people don't understand when they don't get a trophy.

00:05:53.060 I didn't, George.

00:05:54.100 I grew up in a time when trophies didn't even exist yet.

00:05:56.180 There was no wheels.

00:05:56.980 They didn't have metal.

00:05:57.580 They didn't have metal.

00:05:58.100 What did Moses give you?

00:05:59.120 Cars had boxes.

00:06:00.160 When you won, what did Moses present to you?

00:06:04.160 Not a trophy.

00:06:05.480 Not a trophy.

00:06:06.500 Hey, it's good.

00:06:07.360 I feel like Kanye officially is definitely probably not going to be president.

00:06:11.240 I know I know but I have a fun game I have a fun game come back come back from the game

00:06:16.480 I have a fun game uh I got some quotes here uh speaking of presidencies uh between Trump and

00:06:24.080 Kanye I have quotes that either Trump said or Kanye said I want to go ahead and read them

00:06:28.760 and I want you guys to guess who said who said it who said the quote and there's only two people

00:06:33.800 we can guess from Trump or Kanye okay who produced this segment Caleb our new producer

00:06:38.220 Who also showed me the data

00:06:40.400 That broke my heart

00:06:41.580 But this one's great

00:06:42.900 Alright ready

00:06:43.340 I've never seen a thin person

00:06:44.880 Drinking Diet Coke

00:06:45.860 Oh that's Donald Trump

00:06:47.280 For sure

00:06:47.820 That's Donald Trump

00:06:50.140 I don't even think

00:06:52.000 Either of them said that

00:06:53.120 Is that a real quote

00:06:54.340 That's what I say

00:06:55.420 He says they're all real

00:06:56.340 Trump

00:06:56.920 Trump said that

00:06:57.800 Wait I don't get it

00:07:00.540 What does that mean

00:07:01.340 I know

00:07:01.760 Diet Coke isn't for

00:07:02.980 Is it for thin people

00:07:04.920 I don't know

00:07:05.300 What does that mean

00:07:06.160 Now, only people I see drinking Diet Cokes are thin people.

00:07:09.940 Donald Trump would tell you otherwise.

00:07:11.840 Okay, go ahead.

00:07:13.040 Also, for anyone that has money, they know the first rule is to use other people's money.

00:07:16.560 Kanye West.

00:07:16.880 That's very smart.

00:07:17.980 I would say Trump as well.

00:07:20.380 Kanye West.

00:07:21.060 Kanye.

00:07:21.580 Yeah.

00:07:22.160 I mean, that's true, though.

00:07:24.100 That's very true.

00:07:24.960 That is true.

00:07:25.360 Once you get money, don't spend it.

00:07:26.840 Here we go. 0.95

00:07:27.640 Sorry, losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest, and you all know it. 1.00

00:07:31.160 Please don't feel stupid or insecure. 1.00

00:07:32.520 It's not your fault. 1.00

00:07:33.500 Kanye West.

00:07:36.160 are you trying are they the same I can't any one of them can go either way uh Trump that's Trump

00:07:42.800 that's Trump okay really uh dang it high IQ one high IQ two one what do you think his IQ is if

00:07:48.900 yours is 127 his is probably what 190 191 I'd say 215 I'd say he's I'm pretty sure he created

00:07:55.300 the Hadron Collider he did he did right my Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make

00:08:00.460 my enemies tell the truth Trump Trump yeah Donald Trump all right nice at Katy Perry 0.89

00:08:08.520 Kanye Katie what the hell were you thinking when you married loser Russell Brand there's a guy who 0.92

00:08:16.460 has got nothing going a waste oh my god I hope that's Kanye that's Trump why is Trump talking 0.97

00:08:26.480 About Russell Brand like that

00:08:27.540 We love Russell

00:08:28.220 We love Russell Brand

00:08:29.520 Was that before him

00:08:30.720 Being a president

00:08:31.300 There's no way

00:08:32.160 Nah

00:08:32.580 I don't think it was

00:08:33.900 Why is he chirping

00:08:34.940 At Katy Perry

00:08:35.840 I mean

00:08:37.100 Why

00:08:39.120 I don't know maybe

00:08:39.920 Dude

00:08:40.140 Can we talk

00:08:42.100 For one second

00:08:42.800 Before you go to

00:08:43.500 The next question

00:08:43.920 He like

00:08:45.140 Over the past week

00:08:46.440 He's been trying to like

00:08:47.400 Stack

00:08:48.080 His front row

00:08:49.800 With like celebrities

00:08:50.680 That support him

00:08:51.500 And it's like

00:08:52.440 And it's like

00:08:53.280 Okay

00:08:53.880 This is not a

00:08:54.880 Vote

00:08:55.840 Or me being biased

00:08:57.100 Towards Trump or anybody

00:08:57.840 But

00:08:58.100 Trump's support

00:08:59.600 From the celebrity community

00:09:00.520 Is like

00:09:00.900 Lil Pump

00:09:02.180 Kid Rock

00:09:04.120 Lil Wayne

00:09:04.880 Lil Wayne

00:09:05.300 50 cent

00:09:06.200 Oh he did get 50

00:09:07.580 Which I actually respect

00:09:08.940 In politics especially

00:09:10.320 Ice Cube

00:09:11.440 Yeah he got Ice Cube

00:09:12.300 Wait 50

00:09:12.900 50's opinion on it

00:09:14.560 Literally was like

00:09:15.240 Yo

00:09:15.520 Biden's gonna raise my taxes

00:09:17.960 I don't care what

00:09:18.920 Trump does

00:09:19.880 He's gonna keep more money

00:09:20.920 In my pocket 0.98

00:09:21.320 So I don't give a fuck 0.98

00:09:22.060 Alright ready 0.98

00:09:22.940 Room service

00:09:24.460 Ugh

00:09:25.100 I hate when I order fruit

00:09:26.940 And I can taste the other food

00:09:27.940 They cut it with the same knife

00:09:29.160 Beef flavored pineapples

00:09:30.860 Kanye

00:09:31.340 100%

00:09:32.060 Kanye

00:09:32.400 Yeah it's Kanye

00:09:33.000 Kanye

00:09:34.720 Isn't he also the same guy

00:09:38.040 That says he can taste sound

00:09:39.180 That sounds like

00:09:40.980 I've done that before

00:09:41.800 On acid

00:09:42.680 This one's tricky

00:09:43.820 This one's tricky

00:09:44.780 You cannot go to a 7-Eleven

00:09:47.020 Or a Dunkin Donuts

00:09:48.060 Unless you have a slight 1.00

00:09:48.960 Indian accent

00:09:49.780 Kanye 1.00

00:09:50.920 Oh I really hope

00:09:52.380 That isn't Trump

00:09:53.100 That's got it

00:09:53.120 That's got it

00:09:53.660 It's 100%

00:09:55.020 this one's a curveball i'm gonna say trump it's biden and i understand that wasn't an option

00:10:00.840 that i gave you but caleb threw it in there as a go to a 7-eleven unless you have a can't go to it

00:10:06.840 that's what i'm reading and that does sound as we've seen him speak on the show before when we

00:10:12.400 pulled him off the tv that time that sounds like something he might say he says some pretty

00:10:16.880 ridiculous things you guys ever like youtube like things that he says i i giggle i try not to i 0.96

00:10:23.500 Well he has a stutter 0.96

00:10:26.280 That was ironic

00:10:27.720 That was incredibly ironic

00:10:29.060 Is anybody else looking forward to 2024 election?

00:10:33.260 Like is it just me?

00:10:34.600 Honestly I'm over elections

00:10:36.060 No no no no listen to me

00:10:37.380 At some point

00:10:38.200 At some point we will get like a young spry

00:10:42.880 JFK-esque 1.00

00:10:44.580 Like all the ladies are like 1.00

00:10:45.940 Wow that dude can sleep over my house 1.00

00:10:49.220 When my husband goes to Detroit on business

00:10:51.200 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:10:52.120 And like, instead of two fucking idiots, bro, like, like a real spry lad, bro, is coming 1.00

00:10:59.540 in 2024. 1.00

00:11:00.320 I feel, I think it's going to come from the GOP too.

00:11:02.320 I think the GOP is going to produce a solid, um, a solid, like, you know, looker of a,

00:11:08.880 of a guy, a real jet.

00:11:10.320 Yeah.

00:11:10.700 I'm more excited for 2028.

00:11:13.720 Is that when you can run?

00:11:14.760 That is, uh, the LA Olympics.

00:11:17.020 Oh, so you're going to run?

00:11:18.380 Yeah.

00:11:18.700 The a hundred meter.

00:11:19.540 Nice.

00:11:19.900 Remember when you ran the 100 meter for the

00:11:22.240 Challenger games and you fell over the starting block

00:11:24.540 And broke your leg? Yeah man I realize this

00:11:26.740 I say a lot of things

00:11:28.080 I say a lot of things

00:11:29.880 You called me out on it once

00:11:32.320 Hey man you enjoy that

00:11:34.440 Chick-fil-A? Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

00:11:36.120 Crumple the bag a little more if you can 0.99

00:11:38.480 Is that what the sound was?

00:11:40.760 It's crumpling a bag

00:11:42.100 Like you weren't even trying to be quiet

00:11:43.740 He's playing an accordion with his Chick-fil-A bag

00:11:45.820 Sorry are we all doing something?

00:11:47.380 i do have to shout them out for the choice of location uh shout out chick-fil-a fantastic

00:11:53.180 this is not sponsored uh fantastic location so i'm not mad at you about that speaking of saying 0.99

00:11:58.200 stupid things you've established a track record of saying really dumb shit saying things uh pre 0.99

00:12:03.460 as prerequisites to the actual success of the program you you you like to claim success the 1.00

00:12:09.180 i'm the fastest youtuber in the world i'm the best youtube boxer yeah i think you're setting

00:12:14.260 yourself up for a presidential run perfectly do you know what i'm saying like you are you are 0.99

00:12:18.780 i will personally defeat world hunger yeah you have no fucking plan for you don't even know 0.98

00:12:24.700 who's hungry or am i just imagine you plan on feeding them somehow like you are you sorry in 0.98

00:12:29.040 your mind you already did you already fixed it maybe i'm just cap the king cap oh that's a nice

00:12:34.500 but i don't want to be and you know it's crazy everything that i don't cap about everything that

00:12:39.480 i like approach with humility and just like well we'll see what happens it was fantastic like with

00:12:45.520 the pokemon thing for example i was like i'll try this it could work whatever huge dwarf the

00:12:50.800 challenger games bro we we sunk so much money into the challenger games when i said i was gonna be

00:12:55.320 the fastest man hundreds of millions of dollars and i pulled my hamstring right off the starting

00:12:59.040 blocks you know what i said about that i'm gonna give a give a commentator roll and go i might not

00:13:04.420 be good at it and look what happened fantastic one of the best in the biz um yeah uh yeah how 0.95

00:13:14.360 are you doing after that breakup oh wow let's talk about it i guess are you okay i'm fucking

00:13:20.620 good bro like you know was it um how did you i haven't even seen the video the video i love how 0.72

00:13:27.440 he said i haven't seen the video well you made it mike so mike made a breakup video called we broke

00:13:31.700 up 3.2 million views you should break up with girls more often that's pretty good views first

00:13:37.300 time trending on youtube top 10 top 10 trending it's a shame because now you're incentivized to

00:13:42.080 fabricate relationships on youtube that's why people do it i think right yeah i think that

00:13:47.300 what you do i also took i didn't okay but i took the night shift out of the title and it was real

00:13:50.980 simple we broke up i think it's a night shift we broke up yeah i couldn't do that but there's been

00:13:56.800 there's been so many uh there's been so many good night shift episodes about fun and like

00:14:02.940 pleasing exercises like you could go watch them and learn about foods and travel but for some

00:14:07.880 reason like the world just loves the idea of something crashing down and they're like wow

00:14:12.620 or or maybe maybe you're looking at the glass half empty yeah maybe look at a half full maybe

00:14:18.080 rebirth maybe no michael maybe they're just so invested in your relationship just like every

00:14:22.100 other internet relationship and they wanted to see what happened they were sad the internet was

00:14:28.060 sad barstool put out an article that said america's they break a bottle with your both names on it

00:14:32.640 they're like yeah america's internet couple has broken up that saddened me that really saddened

00:14:38.860 me a lot are you okay yeah i'm good i'm good i wish i wish uh i could say that and that it was

00:14:46.840 as clean as that video made it sound you know what i'm saying because as you know there's always

00:14:50.860 you always like anybody watching this who's in a relationship or has come out of one like you

00:14:56.380 always think you know what the best thing is and a lot of times you're right but then sometimes like

00:15:01.220 it just keeps poking i don't know well your brain's battling your heart right and it's emotions

00:15:07.200 versus logic 100 for example like cardi b today unfiled her divorce papers against offset

00:15:14.420 dismissed her divorce dismissed them bro it was just like you know what never mind 0.86

00:15:19.960 She was so fucking sure 0.99

00:15:22.780 But that's why I don't like to talk shit 0.99

00:15:25.020 About the other person 0.98

00:15:25.640 As you saw in this video

00:15:26.500 I was very clear

00:15:30.080 That this was something that existed within me

00:15:33.260 And you know

00:15:35.860 She's an absolutely incredible person

00:15:37.340 Has done absolutely incredible things for me

00:15:39.220 To me

00:15:39.780 And so I don't know

00:15:42.880 Who knows what's going to happen

00:15:43.860 I'm a never say never kind of guy dude

00:15:45.320 I don't have the answers that you so seek

00:15:47.680 But I do know that it's happening across the board

00:15:49.740 There's a lot of breakups going on right now.

00:15:51.320 Our friend Harry Jowsey.

00:15:54.060 Who's that?

00:15:55.640 Our friend.

00:15:56.940 Had a very short-lived relationship with It's Julia Rose.

00:16:01.120 Guys, I don't know how much this I want to get into right now. 1.00

00:16:04.860 This city is fucked. 0.99

00:16:06.560 Who are we talking about? 1.00

00:16:07.560 I'm sorry.

00:16:07.920 His name is Harry Jowsey.

00:16:09.700 He was on Netflix's Too Hot to Handle.

00:16:11.480 He came on our podcast after manifesting it.

00:16:14.680 Fabulous young lad.

00:16:17.000 And he was in a...

00:16:18.780 Why is my face like that on the screen?

00:16:21.020 Why did you choose that?

00:16:22.340 I was just going to ask.

00:16:23.780 He was in a short little public stint relationship with my brother's ex-girlfriend.

00:16:30.280 This is why this one hits close to home, right?

00:16:32.940 Because I love my brother.

00:16:35.200 And I love Harry.

00:16:37.420 Do you love this man?

00:16:38.520 You just met him.

00:16:39.180 No, we've hung out before.

00:16:40.680 He's great.

00:16:41.100 We got a group chat now.

00:16:42.880 It's cool.

00:16:43.280 Shout out to the girl that lands Harry Jowsey for the life gig.

00:16:46.580 Because he really is a lover.

00:16:47.960 Anyways, go ahead.

00:16:48.520 yeah yeah so he was seen uh he was seen with julia and then i was i was looking at my brother's

00:16:55.500 story today and julia is back in the picture all i can say is poor harry i mean i don't know what

00:17:06.780 happened right but i seen julia with my brother again and it just goes to show man this this la

00:17:13.380 relationship stuff is tricky one day you're together one day you're not or it's one day

00:17:18.060 Or you're actually flying on a jet across the country with some athlete or. 0.99

00:17:21.740 It's just fucked up, man. 1.00

00:17:23.100 It's all fucked up, bro. 1.00

00:17:24.320 It's like you think you have things, like I said, you think you have things figured out in the moment. 0.99

00:17:29.540 Or, by the way, there's also, like, other things that pull you.

00:17:32.520 There's a lot of temptation.

00:17:33.540 I don't know if anybody watching this knows this, but there's a lot of good-looking people in this city. 1.00

00:17:38.640 I can't relate to any of this shit. 0.99

00:17:40.380 I know, because you're a good Christian who lives in Arizona, man. 1.00

00:17:42.660 No, it's just not good-looking. 1.00

00:17:43.520 No, it's like, first of all, I don't want to get into that.

00:17:46.540 No, it's just 0.97

00:17:47.780 People need to fucking understand 1.00

00:17:50.020 When shit gets hard 1.00

00:17:50.860 You can't just throw it away 0.99

00:17:51.780 It's not a

00:17:52.200 You can't archive this picture

00:17:53.560 You get what I'm saying? 1.00

00:17:54.680 Yeah, I'm looking at you, bitch 1.00

00:17:55.720 Bro, my poor girlfriend 1.00

00:17:57.340 You know how many times 1.00

00:17:58.460 I have to sit this fucking poor woman down 1.00

00:18:00.000 And talk to her? 1.00

00:18:00.820 Both of you guys need to 1.00

00:18:01.720 Catch a fucking grip 1.00

00:18:02.740 Or catch these hands 1.00

00:18:04.140 They're just not easy

00:18:06.040 Not easy

00:18:06.860 No, it is 0.99

00:18:07.620 You guys just gotta fucking 0.99

00:18:08.540 Shag it up 0.99

00:18:09.280 And if you pull the trigger

00:18:10.920 Mean it 0.99

00:18:11.580 Don't fucking just pull the trigger 1.00

00:18:13.120 To pull the trigger 1.00

00:18:13.660 It's not an airsoft gun

00:18:15.380 No, because

00:18:15.920 No, because sometimes you pull the trigger irrationally.

00:18:21.180 Don't do that.

00:18:22.220 No, and hastily.

00:18:22.860 No, but it's hard, George.

00:18:23.940 Then maybe you're not.

00:18:25.080 You do it with how you talk.

00:18:26.080 You do it with how you talk and stuff.

00:18:28.180 We do it in different places.

00:18:29.560 You are one that sticks out your relationship, and you make it through tough times, and you're grounded in a little bit more of simplicity.

00:18:38.140 You understand that in both of our relationships that there are factors that you don't have to necessarily deal with.

00:18:42.920 No, I understand.

00:18:44.140 There are all kinds of weird things

00:18:47.040 I get it

00:18:47.860 On both sides Georgie

00:18:49.080 We're a mess

00:18:49.800 And I'm not trying to make 0.99

00:18:50.580 You fucking let me talk 0.98

00:18:51.200 I've had that relationship 1.00

00:18:53.280 Where I break up

00:18:54.320 And get back

00:18:54.920 And break up

00:18:55.500 And get back

00:18:56.080 And do this

00:18:56.600 And do that

00:18:57.120 But you gotta start

00:18:58.440 Taking time to realize 1.00

00:18:59.480 It might be fucking you 1.00

00:19:01.160 And it was 1.00

00:19:02.100 It was me

00:19:02.800 Yeah

00:19:03.160 I'd sack it up

00:19:03.940 And for anybody listening

00:19:05.340 They're gonna hate me

00:19:06.340 For saying this

00:19:06.940 But I'm on a quick track

00:19:09.120 To get cancelled soon

00:19:10.000 So I just might as well

00:19:10.760 Hop on that train

00:19:11.420 I believe

00:19:13.860 I might be old fashioned

00:19:15.060 I feel like a man

00:19:15.980 In the relationship

00:19:16.660 Needs to be

00:19:17.600 A leader

00:19:19.140 But doesn't mean

00:19:19.860 It's worth more

00:19:20.800 I'm not saying

00:19:21.340 The man's worth more

00:19:22.220 I'm saying

00:19:22.560 You got to lead

00:19:23.340 With the example 1.00

00:19:23.960 A female 1.00

00:19:26.140 Has a lot of hormones 1.00

00:19:27.160 They're built this way

00:19:28.200 If they're going

00:19:29.020 Off the wagon

00:19:29.540 Respect it

00:19:30.220 Deal with it 0.99

00:19:30.720 Like a man 1.00

00:19:31.280 How 0.99

00:19:32.260 If two fucking 1.00

00:19:33.480 Couples are 1.00

00:19:34.040 Freaking out

00:19:35.540 Every two seconds

00:19:36.200 To me 0.98

00:19:36.640 That's two chicks dating

00:19:37.740 Let me tell you something

00:19:39.020 You have

00:19:39.860 You're right

00:19:40.640 First of all

00:19:41.500 Something wrong 1.00

00:19:41.820 With two chicks dating 1.00

00:19:42.400 No not at all 0.93

00:19:43.380 What are you trying to say

00:19:43.800 george listen quick trick to get canceled this is it this is me i agree with you uh i'll speak for

00:19:50.580 myself there's a certain amount of ego that exists in a relationship between two d-list pseudo 0.71

00:19:57.460 celebrities okay one who has every rapper in his in her fucking inbox and 13 million instagram 0.83

00:20:04.080 followers the other one who is you know a proud host of the number one one one 86 podcast listen 0.94

00:20:11.040 and what I'm getting at

00:20:11.780 is this

00:20:12.220 factors

00:20:13.100 understand that certain

00:20:14.060 relationships have more simplicity

00:20:15.080 I'm not saying

00:20:15.720 your relationship's easy

00:20:16.460 I'm just saying

00:20:16.920 I have not been as good

00:20:19.040 me personally

00:20:19.720 she's done great

00:20:20.560 I have not been as good

00:20:22.160 as you're saying

00:20:23.060 I should be

00:20:23.840 at navigating

00:20:24.660 the insane waters 0.99

00:20:26.540 that is a fucking 0.99

00:20:27.580 internet relationship 0.99

00:20:28.600 which is why

00:20:29.260 no matter what happens

00:20:30.700 I feel confident

00:20:33.240 in saying

00:20:33.700 I won't have a return

00:20:34.880 to a couple's channel

00:20:36.220 that adds an aspect

00:20:37.980 how long did you post

00:20:38.780 a video before

00:20:39.360 after breaking up

00:20:40.300 how long

00:20:40.640 It was a little quick

00:20:41.940 It was a little quick 0.97

00:20:43.060 Immature

00:20:43.520 So immature

00:20:44.520 All right George 1.00

00:20:44.900 So fucking punchy 1.00

00:20:45.620 No no no no 1.00

00:20:46.480 Because there's another factor

00:20:47.820 That you have to take into account

00:20:49.280 What

00:20:51.840 What

00:20:52.780 I probably shouldn't

00:20:54.640 Yeah

00:20:54.900 It's not your relationship 0.95

00:20:55.860 It's not fucking going 0.95

00:20:56.580 Here's what I was gonna say 0.95

00:20:58.400 Cause you're right

00:20:58.840 A relationship will tell you

00:20:59.920 It'll tell you what's wrong with you

00:21:03.100 100%

00:21:04.460 A lot of room for personal growth

00:21:05.920 In relationships

00:21:06.440 I'm gonna steal this quote from

00:21:08.060 Our friend

00:21:08.920 Our good friend

00:21:09.600 Who you guys both know and love

00:21:10.620 sud guru i saw this clip going viral on tiktok now i'm gonna steal it and hopefully now i go

00:21:16.460 viral on tiktok as if these were my words is it the bad breath one i'm gonna say it okay what

00:21:21.860 listen let's say you don't brush your teeth for three days right sud guru said your nose

00:21:30.180 right above your mouth your nose right above your mouth your sniffer won't be able to tell

00:21:35.240 that your breath smells but breath smells bad but everyone in the room will know that your

00:21:39.820 breath smells bad right he said this is the human predicament it's so easy to say oh this is what's

00:21:46.020 wrong with her this is wrong with him this is wrong with that guy over there but it's so much

00:21:50.360 harder to tell what do i have to improve here what's wrong with me and what areas do i need to

00:21:55.600 work on your nose is right above your mouth do you see what he's saying how in theory it should

00:22:02.880 be so easy to look inward smell your breath and and identify where you need to improve what your

00:22:11.220 shortcomings are but it's just not for whatever reason that's the human predicament it takes a

00:22:15.380 lot of work it takes a lot of work and a lot of uh maturity and maybe uh a drop of the ego that's

00:22:23.100 i know it's hard for me it's just it's just for me too like george george has been in relationships

00:22:27.600 I haven't been in a relationship in over a decade and the first one I got into was highly publicized

00:22:35.580 a massive integration between love and business which is just treachery tricky it's treachery

00:22:42.500 the amount of times when we should have taken a one week break to to to gather our thoughts

00:22:47.860 but couldn't because we had content to deliver to the night shift audience I gave up I gave up

00:22:53.480 very it's and and i will too this is a learning lesson for me i do need to do a lot better and i

00:22:58.620 i love the idea that i have um separated that relationship from the night shift brand i i

00:23:05.400 never wanted to have a couple's channel i saw the views views views eight million on the first video

00:23:10.500 then six million then five million then eight million then four million i i lost track of the 0.71

00:23:15.380 idea that 1.5 million and two million views doing what i want to fucking do is way more important

00:23:21.900 And then 8 million views from people who are coming to see a girl on my channel. 0.64

00:23:25.520 But you hit trending for the first time.

00:23:26.920 How'd that feel?

00:23:27.740 I did it without her in the thumbnail.

00:23:29.680 I did it because it was the topic.

00:23:31.800 Do you know why?

00:23:32.600 Do you know why you hit trending?

00:23:33.840 I figured something out.

00:23:35.260 Because I took the night shift out of the title.

00:23:37.480 Maybe, possibly.

00:23:39.700 YouTube trending.

00:23:41.980 Wholesomeness.

00:23:42.860 Oh, yeah.

00:23:43.340 We talked about this.

00:23:45.120 Bro, wholesomeness.

00:23:46.600 My editor sent this to our food group chat the other day.

00:23:49.140 This was the trending page.

00:23:50.180 i mean this is tiktok galore and look how wholesome best friends buying each other

00:23:58.660 costumes baking halloween treats raiding halloween candy carving pumpkins with my best friends

00:24:06.800 charlie noah james chase loray dixie d'amelio these people are just so wholesome and i fear

00:24:13.880 that I've gone down the wrong path for too long.

00:24:18.400 I don't know if I'm wholesome.

00:24:20.120 Here's my question for you.

00:24:21.480 Where are they making these people?

00:24:24.000 Like, where are these people being?

00:24:25.200 Because these are clearly molds built from a factory.

00:24:29.560 Do you know the Powerpuff Girls?

00:24:31.920 Yes.

00:24:32.520 You know how the doctor had a little sugar,

00:24:35.200 a spice, and something nice?

00:24:37.000 Yeah.

00:24:37.380 That's how these people were made.

00:24:39.000 So where did the doctor go wrong with me

00:24:40.860 when he started adding old pants?

00:24:41.680 You're Mr. Mojo Jojo.

00:24:42.940 Oh, got it. 0.60

00:24:43.880 Yours was like blue chew

00:24:45.900 Yeah

00:24:46.460 Heroin

00:24:47.720 Just comes out of the boner all the time 1.00

00:24:49.120 Little porn stars 0.99

00:24:51.420 Some chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-A 1.00

00:24:53.360 Yeah no this is you

00:24:54.320 Also created by the doctor 1.00

00:24:55.960 Like you're the evil green monkey with the big brain 0.99

00:24:58.280 Wait he was created by the doctor? 0.99

00:24:59.840 Yeah that the Powerpuff Girls beat up

00:25:01.320 So this is

00:25:02.240 I mean some could interpret this as saying 0.99

00:25:04.500 You're gonna get your ass kicked by TikTok stars 0.99

00:25:06.700 I guarantee 1.00

00:25:08.760 I could almost guarantee that 1.00

00:25:10.140 By 2021 I'll have had my ass beat by the Sway House 1.00

00:25:13.480 Or like the drip crib 1.00

00:25:15.800 Or something

00:25:16.280 Because I'll be walking around

00:25:17.580 And they'll be like 1.00

00:25:18.220 You fucking didn't hit a wall 0.99

00:25:20.680 When you passed by 1.00

00:25:21.500 So that's disrespectful 0.99

00:25:22.540 And they just start shit stomping 0.99

00:25:24.500 Yeah 0.99

00:25:25.140 It's very possible

00:25:26.680 Are we getting up there guys?

00:25:28.640 Are we getting old?

00:25:29.820 When I look at stuff like this

00:25:30.960 And I watch the content

00:25:31.840 I'm like

00:25:32.300 Am I out of it now?

00:25:33.800 When you ask that question

00:25:34.700 Do you look at me and Logan

00:25:36.020 As like similar ages?

00:25:37.380 Or like 1.00

00:25:37.540 What the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:25:38.300 I don't remember that you're older 1.00

00:25:39.980 Mike you don't act like you're 40 years old

00:25:42.840 So basically you're saying 0.99

00:25:43.560 I'm old as fuck 0.99

00:25:44.440 I'm a fossil 1.00

00:25:44.960 But I'm an immature bitch 1.00

00:25:45.960 At the same time 1.00

00:25:46.660 Like what are you George

00:25:47.600 At what point are you going to let me

00:25:48.840 Continue to live my life

00:25:50.200 On this planet

00:25:50.780 I can't say that

00:25:51.620 But I am

00:25:53.400 I am maturing

00:25:54.580 By way of launching

00:25:56.340 A video gaming channel

00:25:57.560 This week

00:25:58.120 Oh

00:25:58.800 I know we're not supposed to

00:26:01.600 Now I feel bad

00:26:03.120 No I'm not going to talk

00:26:03.920 No because you looked at it

00:26:04.880 Last week

00:26:05.140 No because we're not supposed to plug

00:26:06.000 I'm not

00:26:06.720 No it's fine

00:26:07.180 It's fine

00:26:07.660 The average age of video gamers

00:26:09.300 Streamers

00:26:10.760 What was it 34

00:26:11.740 Yeah right

00:26:12.460 Yeah what the

00:26:13.320 You're prime

00:26:14.560 Prime time

00:26:15.200 You're ripe

00:26:15.680 Not to trend on YouTube

00:26:17.040 Not to be wholesome

00:26:18.120 To stream Call of Duty

00:26:19.620 I personally believe

00:26:20.900 That I'm about to have

00:26:22.060 A very

00:26:22.700 Very fun time

00:26:24.060 In the streaming space

00:26:24.860 I'm calling you right now

00:26:26.220 I didn't feel this way

00:26:27.160 When I started shooting

00:26:27.800 YouTube videos

00:26:28.520 Are you done with

00:26:29.740 YouTube videos?

00:26:30.320 No

00:26:30.540 Okay

00:26:30.980 But the Twitch space has

00:26:32.560 For whatever reason

00:26:33.800 Embraced me

00:26:34.740 With open arms

00:26:35.820 On like a massive level

00:26:37.080 And I'm just really excited

00:26:39.100 To like start streaming

00:26:39.720 I told you this dude

00:26:40.440 It's hard

00:26:41.040 I know

00:26:41.460 And I'm not making any promises

00:26:43.680 It could beam directly 1.00

00:26:46.300 Into the fucking ground 1.00

00:26:47.000 But the thing is this 1.00

00:26:47.780 I got a good team behind me

00:26:49.580 They're doing all the OBS stuff

00:26:50.880 They're doing all the animation

00:26:51.820 It's like I feel good

00:26:52.620 About all that stuff

00:26:53.400 And as you know

00:26:55.200 I love two things

00:26:56.540 Gaming and talking

00:26:57.420 Non-stop

00:26:58.160 I know

00:26:58.660 And engaging directly with fans

00:27:01.620 Like my chat

00:27:02.820 I will engage with my chat

00:27:04.080 More than any other 0.99

00:27:04.860 Fucking gamer on the planet 0.99

00:27:05.820 Dude 1.00

00:27:06.120 Every single

00:27:06.900 Like this person has a question

00:27:08.220 I'll immediately hit them

00:27:09.100 With a response 0.97

00:27:09.600 I'm ready to engage

00:27:10.820 and interact boys i'm talking we sit here and we talk to these cameras with these people around us

00:27:16.320 who pretend to be our friends evan told me the other day he goes yo guess how many hours i

00:27:21.720 streamed in the past three days i said how many of he said 30 10 hours a day you're crying you're

00:27:27.440 crushing it but you do anything for that long it's exhausting but streaming with people watching

00:27:32.240 you i don't know how you guys and you know it's crazy you know this they play together and they're

00:27:38.660 On opposite wings of the house

00:27:40.160 So when things get heated

00:27:41.900 In Call of Duty

00:27:42.540 Modern Warfare Zone 1.00

00:27:43.920 Fuck 1.00

00:27:45.040 I'm gonna get shredded 1.00

00:27:46.100 Modern Warzone 1.00

00:27:48.340 Just say Verdansk

00:27:48.620 Say Verdansk

00:27:49.280 Verdansk

00:27:49.900 Nice

00:27:50.720 Bro they're both yelling

00:27:51.560 About the same thing

00:27:52.600 From opposite wings

00:27:53.560 I'm like yo

00:27:54.200 What is happening

00:27:55.000 And it's always from him

00:27:56.300 He's like Mike

00:27:57.160 Come on 1.00

00:27:57.580 What the fuck 1.00

00:27:58.500 Oh no 1.00

00:27:58.980 Pan to Evan

00:28:00.240 Pan to Evan

00:28:00.880 Evan

00:28:01.280 Evan

00:28:01.520 Come here for one sec

00:28:02.180 Nice

00:28:05.060 Alright

00:28:05.380 Hello

00:28:05.820 Have things gotten better

00:28:07.320 Since I got the PC

00:28:08.820 What do you mean?

00:28:09.420 Like, my gameplay.

00:28:10.660 Am I as bad?

00:28:11.240 Oh, no.

00:28:11.940 He's actually improved.

00:28:13.380 Really?

00:28:13.960 Because I walked in on him, and this is what his character was doing.

00:28:16.840 I'm like, yo, Mike, what are you doing?

00:28:17.680 He drops the control.

00:28:19.200 His team's going, Mike, where are you at?

00:28:20.900 This is his avatar.

00:28:24.760 That's because you were trying to vlog with me while I was gaming.

00:28:27.320 We lost cobs with this guy.

00:28:29.800 So you're distracting us, George.

00:28:31.360 It was your fault.

00:28:33.120 But it's gotten a lot better because the screens are...

00:28:36.320 It'll go for a while

00:28:39.420 Check out that gameplay

00:28:40.340 The screens are 240 hertz

00:28:44.480 Anything else?

00:28:45.860 A lot of hertz 0.50

00:28:46.340 Anything else you want to say today?

00:28:47.480 Why don't you tell me what you did last night?

00:28:51.320 Tell him

00:28:51.860 Yo, talk about the day

00:28:53.440 Talk about the day in general

00:28:55.060 Yes, Keir, come here

00:28:55.880 Talk about the day in general yesterday

00:28:57.360 I firmly believe

00:28:59.380 That yesterday

00:29:00.320 May have been one of the best days 1.00

00:29:02.080 In Evan Eckenrode's fucking life 0.99

00:29:03.680 Easily 1.00

00:29:04.120 One long time

00:29:05.000 In a very long time

00:29:05.880 start off the day by golfing at trump national that's what it is literally the most beautiful

00:29:21.660 golf course i've ever been to in my entire life you kyle nelk our good friend mike malak chase 0.84

00:29:27.000 hero chase and chase and i were on a team versus mike and kyle okay i was fucking on it like probably 0.79

00:29:33.360 the best I've ever golfed. Really? 0.94

00:29:35.200 Dude, he was like getting pissed. Him and Kyle

00:29:37.480 were literally getting pissed. Dead shot straight

00:29:39.240 every fucking time. I'm not going to lie. Mike and I 1.00

00:29:41.260 chatted. I didn't know

00:29:43.400 you had it in yet. I didn't know you golfed.

00:29:45.460 Or golfed. See, that's the thing.

00:29:47.540 People like to sleep on the kid.

00:29:49.420 Don't ever sleep on the kid. Don't sleep on the kid.

00:29:51.400 Don't sleep on the kid. And then what happened? But yeah,

00:29:53.260 then we went to

00:29:54.880 Wolfgang Puck. Wolfgang Puck's

00:29:56.860 met him, the dude.

00:29:59.720 He was just chilling. Just chilling.

00:30:01.220 Chilling there. That's crazy. Dope as fuck.

00:30:02.820 I had the best food 1.00

00:30:03.920 I've probably

00:30:04.620 ever had

00:30:05.660 the Wagyu

00:30:06.300 we had the

00:30:06.840 A5 Wagyu 0.99

00:30:07.920 fucking melted 1.00

00:30:08.760 in my mouth 1.00

00:30:09.280 yeah $250 steak

00:30:10.500 I hope so

00:30:11.100 yeah melted 0.99

00:30:12.000 sex 0.99

00:30:12.580 speaking of sex

00:30:13.620 came back 0.99

00:30:14.220 had sex 0.99

00:30:14.820 yeah 0.99

00:30:15.220 let's go

00:30:17.580 let's go

00:30:18.780 what a setup

00:30:20.040 what a way to end 1.00

00:30:21.060 the fucking day 1.00

00:30:21.860 yo yo yo 0.99

00:30:22.760 but also

00:30:23.480 you discovered

00:30:24.620 how to utilize

00:30:25.440 your superpower

00:30:26.320 I believe every man

00:30:27.660 has a superpower

00:30:28.400 might take a little

00:30:29.180 finesse to find it

00:30:30.620 but

00:30:31.300 but Evan does this thing

00:30:32.800 where I'll be sitting around after boxing

00:30:35.600 and he'll come up and just start

00:30:37.580 massaging my shoulders.

00:30:40.100 Hands are so strong.

00:30:41.820 I'm not even getting better than any

00:30:43.840 masseuse I've ever had in my life

00:30:45.840 and he does it for his boys.

00:30:47.980 He'll go up and give you

00:30:48.960 two to four minute massage.

00:30:50.940 We're all just like, yo, your hands.

00:30:52.700 You can't talk.

00:30:53.440 How is it possible?

00:30:54.200 No one ever talks.

00:30:55.040 Well, he discovered that if he just 0.98

00:30:57.100 utilizes that superpower with women, 0.98

00:31:00.280 game over. 0.99

00:31:01.880 Game over.

00:31:02.260 Bro, it's a cheat code

00:31:03.640 Massages in general are a cheat code

00:31:05.780 Imagine if you're good at it

00:31:07.120 You're connecting to that person on a different level

00:31:10.480 You're like showing that

00:31:12.320 Because you care

00:31:13.760 It's like a service

00:31:14.460 You're good with your hands

00:31:17.500 That's fantastic, well congrats

00:31:20.220 There we go, Evan Akinrod

00:31:22.520 Ladies and gentlemen

00:31:23.100 By the way, another Evan Akinrod episode

00:31:25.840 I'm sure will be coming down the line

00:31:27.160 I totally dig that

00:31:28.260 Not that you needed to

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00:32:10.080 Get your first order free when you use the promo code LOGAN.

00:32:13.040 Just pay $5 shipping.

00:32:14.360 Again, that's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.

00:32:15.820 Promo code LOGAN.

00:32:16.920 Our new videographer, Kevin, used that code twice.

00:32:20.660 He really did.

00:32:21.820 He really did.

00:32:23.760 Transition King.

00:32:24.760 Yeah, that was good.

00:32:25.420 Transition King.

00:32:25.700 That was good.

00:32:26.380 I got a podcast, bro.

00:32:27.680 i got you know 231 episodes deep i'd hope i'd be somewhat good with this yo speaking of how deep

00:32:35.340 we are in this podcast 230 episodes and also like how i opened and opened this podcast and we always

00:32:41.660 say with the number one podcast in the world and i feel like that like i really do feel like that

00:32:45.900 like this is pretty versatile versatile show but the problem is it is more of a show like i just

00:32:52.420 said than a podcast so ranking on the charts isn't as likely given that all our viewership

00:32:59.560 and attention comes from fucking youtube not a bad thing it's just not where the podcast charts 0.51

00:33:05.460 are makes sense right like minimum half a million maximum seven million views per podcast all on 0.98

00:33:11.300 youtube granted the downloads are still very good but for those of you who are dedicated impulsive

00:33:17.960 fans it's this weird balance between us trying to decide like do we really go full-fledged and

00:33:24.600 lean into the podcast space the audio space uh and and maybe do like half a show or like

00:33:31.060 no visual at all which i don't want to do like look around it's a great set i think we're getting

00:33:35.480 a new set soon or and and we'll see what happens and i'm glad i'm like saying this out loud just

00:33:41.960 expressing how i feel i think there's power in staying in your lane

00:33:46.920 yeah as as as corny as it sounds like paving your own path and us being uh i think on the

00:33:56.760 forefront of like a a hybrid show slash podcast i bet in the future there's going to be a space

00:34:03.560 where that opens up for us to neatly nicely fit in i don't know when i don't know where

00:34:11.540 but it's almost like it's almost like you just have to trust your vision we talked we talked

00:34:17.800 about this at the beginning of the show and did a lot of like soul searching about what platform

00:34:25.240 the show is going to be on this is what two years ago oh are we what are we coming up on our two

00:34:29.220 year november 19th wow 17 days almost two years of impulsive and i remember i asked you i was like

00:34:36.580 I really see a lot of money time effort going to audio I know to pure podcast so much and we we

00:34:44.900 and we thought about it in the beginning we're like even you know after you built the set like

00:34:48.460 probably like a like maybe 20 episodes in we had the conversation seriously like yo do we go all

00:34:52.160 the way to audio because I think there's a tremendous amount of promotional power that

00:34:56.180 comes out of being the number one number two number three podcast in the world which I which

00:35:00.920 I thoroughly believe that if you shifted our one to seven million views per episode over and say

00:35:06.180 became 60 percent of that on the podcast charts i think you're looking at a top five pod no i

00:35:10.680 that's what i'm saying but it's like we've made this commitment to this thing that we know we're

00:35:15.580 like good at and that we thrive at there's just not at this moment in time a window for a visual

00:35:22.400 podcast and it's crazy because i mentioned this to you guys this morning joe rogan 1200 episodes

00:35:28.460 deep 10 years of podcasting with audio being the primary uh functionality of his uh program

00:35:36.420 before he got his hundred million dollar spotify deal right it took him a decade dude

00:35:41.380 we're two years in with video with sorry with video being the primary no because he was on

00:35:46.340 youtube was he on youtube the whole time i think so but it wasn't it wasn't his shtick i mean even 0.56

00:35:50.280 now like look we have four fucking cameras he's got two he's got three right he has a wide and 0.69

00:35:55.600 to stationary we have a person manning a camera and a camera that just keeps moving no matter 0.98

00:36:02.440 what happens pan to the wide pan to that camera cut to the wide i don't know if you can see

00:36:07.140 yeah but it's moving it's it's slow but it's moving you know how much electricity

00:36:11.600 that that that takes you could run probably a submarine we have lights like this is it's a

00:36:17.940 studio it's a professional studio so it's like i believe there's definitely this is uh i'd like

00:36:22.220 to believe there's a there's power and and like i said just staying in your lane and trusting

00:36:25.740 the vision i feel like we enjoy performing more that's that's why instead of talking you know so

00:36:30.520 well let's be honest we got we got we got pretty faces too i mean you're gonna hide these faces

00:36:35.780 behind audio no you're gonna say something snarky why don't you do me a favor take that snarky 0.99

00:36:39.140 comment stick it in your fucking back pocket george right yo yo i fucking say what two of 1.00

00:36:45.220 the people are good looking fuck you no i was gonna say when i was growing up people used to 1.00

00:36:48.900 say i have a face for radio oh that's that's was wait a second jose and i dressed up as uh zelda 0.99

00:36:58.940 and link for halloween and i just kept making jokes about how good she looked and how like

00:37:02.760 i didn't i didn't not look good but i wasn't as like i didn't feel in my element so much as her

00:37:07.440 like she's so pretty and i was just like i just literally felt like the weak link

00:37:11.040 nice nice nice and speaking of the weak link i thought about this because i'm also 0.73

00:37:16.860 like fucked up like i'm i have a lot of uh ailments mentally and physically oh 0.82

00:37:24.300 primarily physically yeah check this out this trips me out flat-footed like flat-footed 0.99

00:37:32.380 not as bad as you but plancher's flashlight is flashlight is sure whatever you want to say

00:37:37.160 colorblind i had lasik but before blind as a bat damn near wore glasses for five six seven years

00:37:46.100 of my life um and then there was one more there was one more ailment that i forgot but these three 0.96

00:37:53.840 tiny penis these three alone let's take this flat-footed colorblind can't see okay in this 0.96

00:38:00.620 life i was born to be a six foot two semi-built man okay so in this life i was privileged because 0.97

00:38:11.340 of technology to be let's say an alpha or at least at least have the characteristics of that

00:38:18.380 of an alpha yeah the hunter right leader of the pack dog if i was if i was born in you know a 0.99

00:38:26.220 1000 BC I'd be fucked you'd just be a dud do you know what I'm saying seriously we'd go hunting 0.99

00:38:34.220 the crew would go hunting and me just like I look like I can do it but I got shin splints I can't 0.99

00:38:39.980 see in the dark I'm running I'm running into trees I can't shoot my arrow and hunt the animals like

00:38:45.100 this trips me out dude I was born in the perfect time where because of technology my ailments I 0.99

00:38:50.800 i could still thrive but in another life i would be a fucking dud waste of space type shit i would 0.99

00:38:58.320 be a gatherer barely because i couldn't separate the poisonous berries from the non-poisonous 0.99

00:39:02.560 berries because i'm colorblind do you hear what i'm saying like like absolute couldn't even gather

00:39:07.180 berries that's what i'm saying dude timing is everything timing is everything like i just got 0.89

00:39:14.200 lucky i got lucky that i was born in this space and even with like my youtube shit you know i

00:39:18.240 happen to like filming things on camera there happened to be an audience for that 20 years ago 0.95

00:39:22.180 what what would i have done bro you know i was thinking about the other day it tripped me out

00:39:25.240 what if my parents are never like hey let's leave this country let's just stay here

00:39:30.320 what i would be a completely different human being like a completely like my the what i like

00:39:38.960 what i probably did for a living like how i talked my mannerisms like yo i just thought about this

00:39:44.280 you're absolutely right

00:39:46.440 but just going back on what I said selfishly

00:39:49.500 because I just thought about this

00:39:50.560 I wouldn't even have realized

00:39:54.660 I was colorblind

00:39:55.560 you know what I'm saying

00:39:57.040 they'd be like Logan 0.94

00:40:00.180 go shoot that

00:40:01.840 go pick the berry the red berry

00:40:03.220 I'm like red berry

00:40:04.100 we could have never identified

00:40:08.420 why I kept rolling my ankle

00:40:10.940 because

00:40:12.700 No one knew what flat feet were

00:40:15.420 Or they're like yo

00:40:16.960 Throw the boomerang at that tree

00:40:19.500 I'm like tree 1.00

00:40:20.320 The fuck are you talking about 1.00

00:40:22.960 And no one would have known 1.00

00:40:24.480 I know exactly what you would have been

00:40:28.080 A healer?

00:40:29.040 Nope 1.00

00:40:29.300 You would have been a theatrical person 1.00

00:40:32.140 A mime 0.77

00:40:33.200 He would have been a mime

00:40:35.560 I can actually mime pretty well 0.87

00:40:37.480 I can mime pretty well

00:40:39.480 This is another cap

00:40:42.540 I'm gonna get pissed

00:40:43.220 No this is fantastic

00:40:44.540 Oh that's great

00:40:45.180 This is great

00:40:45.700 Wait is there actually

00:40:46.740 A window there

00:40:47.460 Knock on it

00:40:48.180 What

00:40:51.580 That was really good

00:40:52.700 That was phenomenal

00:40:54.100 My miming is pretty good

00:40:55.480 That was phenomenal

00:40:56.540 That was really

00:40:57.580 I could see a future

00:40:58.640 For you in the circus

00:40:59.300 If I was that good

00:41:00.220 And my girl was arguing

00:41:01.300 With me

00:41:01.660 I would just immediately

00:41:02.320 Go into that

00:41:02.840 How many times

00:41:03.860 I've been

00:41:04.080 Is faking

00:41:07.860 Is faking

00:41:08.500 It's faking to be death bad 1.00

00:41:10.240 I saw some girl do it on TikTok 1.00

00:41:11.440 Do you see that video?

00:41:13.260 I will FaceTime my best friend

00:41:15.300 I've actually done this 0.99

00:41:17.320 Because I almost got my ass beat 0.99

00:41:19.180 At Five Guys Burger 1.00

00:41:20.400 Kaveh was right there 0.87

00:41:22.140 Shaking the fries 0.97

00:41:23.100 I went up to this girl all confident 0.97

00:41:24.860 And I grabbed her shoulder

00:41:27.100 Because I'm young by the way

00:41:28.420 Don't do this 1.00

00:41:29.560 Don't ever go up to a girl

00:41:30.540 Sounds like assault

00:41:31.220 So I grabbed her and I pulled her hair back

00:41:33.780 No I'm just kidding

00:41:34.300 I just tapped her shoulder

00:41:35.480 And I went to go get her 1.00

00:41:37.140 Napkins

00:41:38.720 But like this

00:41:39.400 Douchey

00:41:40.140 Confident

00:41:40.800 Yeah

00:41:41.160 And all I hear is 1.00

00:41:42.220 Hey what the fuck 0.99

00:41:43.440 And I was too scared 1.00

00:41:45.480 To turn around

00:41:46.300 So

00:41:47.560 The guy grabs my shoulder

00:41:49.180 Spins me around

00:41:50.140 Jacked 1.00

00:41:51.660 Jacked 0.66

00:41:52.640 Out of his mind

00:41:53.820 Dude

00:41:54.180 And I just look at him

00:41:55.660 And he goes 1.00

00:41:56.760 What the fuck 1.00

00:41:57.800 Are you doing 1.00

00:41:58.240 Grabbing my girl

00:41:59.040 And I just go

00:41:59.720 No

00:42:01.260 Shut up 0.79

00:42:02.720 How did you 1.00

00:42:04.060 Get into that

00:42:05.200 Stick so fast

00:42:05.960 I don't know 0.92

00:42:06.580 And then Kaveh grabbed me 0.75

00:42:08.060 And he goes

00:42:08.320 I'm so sorry 1.00

00:42:09.020 He's deaf 1.00

00:42:09.900 So he was trying to give her napkins 0.99

00:42:11.560 And they were like

00:42:12.880 Oh okay

00:42:13.500 And the girl's like 1.00

00:42:14.260 You piece of shit 1.00

00:42:15.160 You fucking almost hit it 1.00

00:42:16.660 He's deaf you asshole 1.00

00:42:18.040 They got in a fight 1.00

00:42:18.860 And I was like

00:42:19.800 And I knew how to spell my name too

00:42:21.880 Why?

00:42:23.500 I had a deaf friend

00:42:24.340 That he taught me how to spell my name

00:42:25.300 So

00:42:25.640 I just kind of pulled that card real quick

00:42:27.640 I know you may get in some trouble

00:42:29.440 From other people

00:42:30.520 But I

00:42:30.860 I'm impressed by how fast

00:42:32.540 You thought on your feed

00:42:33.200 I also

00:42:33.800 Asshole move

00:42:34.960 But I saved my life 0.97

00:42:35.800 Yeah you might have

00:42:36.520 Saved your life

00:42:36.920 In life or death

00:42:38.660 Scenarios

00:42:39.220 You probably

00:42:40.760 Could get a pass

00:42:41.820 I don't know

00:42:44.880 I was a kid bro

00:42:45.940 Like I

00:42:46.440 I wouldn't do it now

00:42:47.160 I would take the 1.00

00:42:47.800 The ass beating now 1.00

00:42:49.020 I don't know 0.99

00:42:50.620 To be honest

00:42:51.200 He was a pretty big guy

00:42:52.540 But yeah

00:42:54.180 Am I gonna get in trouble

00:42:55.120 For this?

00:42:57.080 Uh

00:42:57.440 Jettel

00:42:57.840 Jettel let you know

00:42:58.540 We'll find out

00:42:59.480 We'll find out 1.00

00:43:00.560 You handle women like that 1.00

00:43:02.420 Normally 1.00

00:43:02.780 I just tapped it on the shoulder

00:43:05.360 I didn't do anything.

00:43:06.300 You said you manhandled her.

00:43:08.380 No, I didn't.

00:43:09.080 Did I say I manhandled her?

00:43:10.140 My dad told me a story regarding your story about how you sit when you pee.

00:43:16.240 What did he say?

00:43:17.940 He said one time he was dating a woman from California.

00:43:22.260 Mind you, this isn't Ohio, dude.

00:43:24.820 Ohio.

00:43:25.360 By the way, did you read the comments?

00:43:26.440 Do you know how many guys were siding with me?

00:43:27.960 So my dad goes, my dad said, Logan, I was dating this girl from California.

00:43:33.540 and I was over her house one day

00:43:35.800 and I stood up to go pee

00:43:37.640 and she goes, what are you doing?

00:43:39.880 Yo, yo.

00:43:40.820 What?

00:43:41.420 She goes, what are you doing?

00:43:42.880 He's like, what do you mean I'm going to pee?

00:43:44.680 She goes, yeah, why are you standing up?

00:43:48.320 My dad goes, what do you mean?

00:43:50.860 I'm a man, so I stand up to go pee in the bathroom.

00:43:53.020 She's like, no guy I've ever dated stands up when they pee.

00:43:54.940 Because she's from California.

00:43:56.360 He goes, you would be so surprised

00:43:58.600 how many dudes are just like George.

00:44:00.700 I can't believe that.

00:44:02.520 It's just respect

00:44:03.400 You don't want to get anything dirty

00:44:04.660 But when you're at a house 0.99

00:44:06.260 That you don't give a shit about 0.98

00:44:07.400 Yeah Stan 0.99

00:44:07.840 I actually

00:44:08.300 I kind of test my

00:44:09.920 Yo but it turned

00:44:10.640 It turned her on apparently

00:44:12.080 She loved that he stood up

00:44:13.640 When he

00:44:13.840 To her it was like

00:44:15.080 Oh that's a caveman

00:44:15.840 He's a caveman

00:44:16.460 What are you doing over there

00:44:17.780 Yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:44:18.940 I'm standing over here

00:44:20.880 Just imagine he gets her so turned

00:44:22.360 Now she's like 1.00

00:44:22.660 Stand up and shit 1.00

00:44:23.440 I want to see you stand up 1.00

00:44:24.620 And he's like

00:44:25.320 I can do that too

00:44:26.260 What's going on with this guy today

00:44:29.760 Justin you put something 1.00

00:44:30.680 In his fucking cereal this morning 1.00

00:44:32.020 Sorry guys 0.99

00:44:33.420 I'm sorry

00:44:33.880 No but listen

00:44:35.260 Yeah

00:44:35.680 Just like

00:44:36.400 He made it

00:44:38.540 He made it so

00:44:39.300 Evident that like

00:44:41.600 He's like you know 1.00

00:44:42.580 Like women 1.00

00:44:43.200 He told me Logan 1.00

00:44:44.020 Like bad advice to Sonny 1.00

00:44:45.400 Women like to be handled 1.00

00:44:46.520 Women like to be handled 1.00

00:44:47.400 By a man 1.00

00:44:48.120 Right

00:44:48.620 You know

00:44:48.920 And kids in your generation

00:44:51.120 They don't know

00:44:52.320 They don't know how to handle 1.00

00:44:53.420 These women 1.00

00:44:54.080 And I said

00:44:55.300 Dad I

00:44:57.260 I hear you

00:44:58.600 I have to disagree with you

00:44:59.880 If only you knew 1.00

00:45:01.100 The shit that our generation was doing 1.00

00:45:03.060 It will haunt you 1.00

00:45:05.000 Father 0.99

00:45:05.480 It's fucked up Mike 1.00

00:45:07.680 I can't go down the street without seeing 1.00

00:45:10.960 Someone eating someone else's ass 1.00

00:45:12.460 It's just not as easy as he's making it sound 1.00

00:45:14.880 There are a lot of girls out there

00:45:16.320 That's why nobody knows they have bad breath 1.00

00:45:17.760 Because they're just in asses 0.99

00:45:19.040 This will never know what this is eating 0.99

00:45:22.280 There are a lot of girls out there that want that

00:45:29.080 You know what I'm saying

00:45:29.980 there's a lot of girls out there who want to be told what to do who want to be but what if you're

00:45:35.060 not like super like i'm not super embracing i'm not then you you may need to end up being with a

00:45:40.340 girl who compliments that relationship side why are you talking like my girlfriend's not in the

00:45:44.800 room sorry wait hold on a second he wasn't talking about him he's using a hypothetical example we're

00:45:50.020 good to do with you i got you huh what i'm what i'm saying is what i'm saying is there's a i think

00:45:56.180 i think your dad is probably closer to accurate on that statement than you think he is and george

00:46:03.460 mentioned this earlier in the show in a much more uh shakespearean way than than greg paul which

00:46:09.820 we've known to tell it like he thinks it is at all times but there are a lot of girls out there 0.67

00:46:15.020 who want to be fucking told by men yo like this is how things i i know i agree with you no no i 0.56

00:46:20.980 agree with him dinner tonight yeah i agreed with him we're working out you're by the way if you go 0.99

00:46:25.760 out with your girls tonight be home by 11 p.m. or you're not watching the friends finale tomorrow

00:46:30.000 night I'm gonna try man I say this all the time uh I'm not a pushover everything's up for a

00:46:36.760 conversation I'm a Christian man you guys might be shocked about this I've never talked about that

00:46:40.220 before but uh everything I I'm very like I feel this we're very equal but the way I was raised

00:46:46.620 the way I saw my mom and dad communicate is when he's saying something that he feels in his gut 0.96

00:46:51.560 in my mind take it all the way back to way back in the day caveman shit the man would lead the 0.94

00:46:58.060 direction of where the family would go right so here's the thing i told my i told my my god willing 0.98

00:47:04.100 my future wife i said hey this is going to be a situation that i feel is going to be comfortable

00:47:09.480 in the long term so if this doesn't make you feel comfortable then maybe you need to date somebody

00:47:13.100 else that's like not this way but if i have a gut feeling i feel this i go this is my example

00:47:18.260 This is how I feel

00:47:19.820 If we want to talk about it

00:47:22.220 We could

00:47:22.660 But if the house is on fire

00:47:24.180 Which is an emotion

00:47:24.920 But if I ever did this

00:47:26.340 The house is on fire

00:47:27.560 And our kids are in there

00:47:28.380 It's like

00:47:28.840 And I turn to you

00:47:30.120 And I go

00:47:30.340 What are you going to do

00:47:31.000 That's

00:47:32.040 Not

00:47:32.540 No girl wants that

00:47:33.760 Of course not 1.00

00:47:34.340 A girl wants a man 1.00

00:47:35.180 That's going to jump in there 1.00

00:47:36.060 And handle the shit 1.00

00:47:36.940 Of course 1.00

00:47:37.400 I semi agree with you

00:47:38.420 I do

00:47:38.760 I'm not

00:47:39.420 I'm not like that

00:47:40.420 I 0.91

00:47:40.980 You throw your girl into the fire 1.00

00:47:42.360 And say grab the kids 0.99

00:47:43.060 No no no

00:47:43.740 I'd like

00:47:44.500 I'd like for that to go unstated

00:47:47.860 because of my actions

00:47:48.960 and I've proven myself

00:47:50.180 as a leader

00:47:51.280 that she can trust

00:47:52.160 and vice versa

00:47:52.920 depending on the circumstance.

00:47:54.220 Absolutely.

00:47:54.620 Does that make sense?

00:47:55.200 I don't need to say like,

00:47:56.820 hey, I'm the man.

00:47:57.780 No, but I don't think he's saying it.

00:47:58.800 No, I never was like,

00:47:59.880 man, you, woman, 1.00

00:48:01.680 dick, vagina, 1.00

00:48:02.860 leader, leader. 1.00

00:48:04.080 I never said that, bro.

00:48:05.400 We were just having a conversation.

00:48:06.140 That's what I think it is too.

00:48:07.300 I think he's illustrating

00:48:08.220 for conversation

00:48:08.860 what he does through his actions.

00:48:10.180 So I think you're on the same page

00:48:10.980 but there's two different

00:48:12.940 schools of thought on it

00:48:15.480 that exist between

00:48:16.960 And also two very big differences

00:48:20.180 Between leadership in a relationship

00:48:22.220 And control in a relationship

00:48:23.980 Yeah that's gross

00:48:25.040 It is a very very fine line 1.00

00:48:27.200 That men have historically been terrible at walking

00:48:30.780 There's a difference between being able to

00:48:33.540 Lead your family out of a fire

00:48:35.520 And saying 1.00

00:48:37.060 Yo I saw you look at that fucking bartender 1.00

00:48:40.740 For 30 seconds too long 1.00

00:48:42.340 And when we get back to the fucking house 0.99

00:48:44.080 I'm gonna show you why you don't look 0.99

00:48:45.420 There's a very

00:48:46.480 There's a lot of guys out there who treat women like that

00:48:50.640 Now I prefer to be on the far other end of the spectrum

00:48:55.260 I'm a bit of a lazy leader

00:48:59.840 Now if the house catches on fire 1.00

00:49:02.360 I'm grabbing her and I'm pulling her out the fucking front door 1.00

00:49:04.160 If the plane's going down and putting the mask on 1.00

00:49:07.020 Or all that shit 1.00

00:49:07.680 I got all that shit down pat 1.00

00:49:09.080 But dude if she wants to go fucking 1.00

00:49:11.160 Go out for a week with her 0.95

00:49:13.160 I honestly have never given 1.00

00:49:15.980 That much of a fuck 0.92

00:49:17.220 Obviously about her past 1.00

00:49:18.600 But definitely about her past

00:49:20.180 It just doesn't

00:49:22.360 I think you need to walk a line

00:49:25.440 That's what I'm getting at

00:49:26.360 Absolutely

00:49:26.780 Insecurity doesn't mean you're a leader

00:49:29.120 There's never been a day

00:49:30.760 That I would ever disrespect my girl

00:49:32.460 By telling her what she could or cannot wear

00:49:34.200 If I had a daughter

00:49:36.400 And a man would ever try to tell her

00:49:38.160 What she's going to do 1.00

00:49:39.020 I'd beat the shit out of that guy 1.00

00:49:41.780 Wait what 1.00

00:49:42.860 I would never ever ever tell her what she well. What if I wear like lingerie to like Whole Foods Whole Foods or Bank of America?

00:49:50.820 Yeah, no, would you make it the suggestion be no?

00:49:52.960 No, I would let her do what she did and I wouldn't even say this. Nope. Why are you wearing lingerie the whole like a g-string George?

00:49:59.180 I'm not talking as a friend. I'm talking about like the one that goes way up and not even

00:50:03.580 Hot like she wore this. I'm just gonna just imagine. No, I wouldn't here's the thing

00:50:07.460 I'm not what if she's going if you're gonna like treat her that way

00:50:10.980 she's going to start faking things.

00:50:12.080 What do you mean treat her that way?

00:50:13.380 Bro, no.

00:50:14.000 To me, that's not treating her.

00:50:14.860 This is your best friend.

00:50:16.340 So you have a conversation.

00:50:17.980 You're my best friend.

00:50:18.820 If I saw you going

00:50:19.620 to Whole Foods and Lingerie,

00:50:20.920 I'd say this.

00:50:22.360 Why are you doing that?

00:50:23.520 Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

00:50:24.820 I wouldn't condemn her.

00:50:26.820 I wouldn't say she can't,

00:50:27.980 but I'd help her

00:50:29.700 logically think through

00:50:31.540 and make sure

00:50:32.340 she's making the right decision.

00:50:34.340 And I can speak.

00:50:35.300 I'm not like that.

00:50:36.340 I can speak from a practice standpoint

00:50:37.780 on this, George,

00:50:38.420 because for me,

00:50:39.680 My girlfriend wearing a g-string

00:50:41.340 Or lingerie to Whole Foods

00:50:42.800 Is a Tuesday

00:50:43.480 That happens pretty much every week

00:50:45.420 Mike Mike

00:50:46.020 Ex-girlfriend 0.98

00:50:47.280 Oh shit 0.99

00:50:47.920 Sorry buddy 0.98

00:50:49.300 But honestly like

00:50:52.360 Is there any line

00:50:54.580 Like can she cross the line

00:50:55.660 In any way

00:50:56.080 Where you're like

00:50:56.500 Yo listen

00:50:57.020 That girl said one mean thing about you

00:50:59.340 And you hit her in the face 0.83

00:51:00.620 With a toaster 0.92

00:51:01.260 Okay no

00:51:01.980 There's obviously conversations

00:51:03.500 Where we have a conversation 0.98

00:51:04.800 There's times that I fuck up 0.99

00:51:06.280 And we have a conversation 0.94

00:51:07.220 But 0.99

00:51:07.920 But when it comes to common sense shit, no. 0.99

00:51:12.400 First of all, I already know every common sense move she makes. 0.99

00:51:15.020 Would you wear lingerie to Whole Foods?

00:51:16.980 What if there was a brand deal involved?

00:51:18.820 Assume I'm talking to Whole Foods right now.

00:51:21.840 It's for $150,000.

00:51:22.800 How much are we talking?

00:51:24.580 I'll walk in with a lingerie with you.

00:51:27.240 You're saying no?

00:51:28.080 I'll tell Jerry Rogers right now.

00:51:31.020 Hey, yeah, Jerry, she's out on the brand deal.

00:51:33.720 Here's the thing.

00:51:34.360 My whole theory is this.

00:51:35.540 And I'm obviously going to be talking to people that are in a new relationship

00:51:38.480 If you don't know your girl within a year of dating her 0.99

00:51:40.920 You guys need to figure shit out 0.98

00:51:42.320 But if you're newly dating a girl 1.00

00:51:44.600 Let her do what she's doing 0.55

00:51:46.800 So you observe who she actually is

00:51:49.220 And then you can choose

00:51:50.420 If that's the person you want to be with

00:51:52.400 A lot of people fall in love with

00:51:54.160 Potential

00:51:55.400 Like oh she's great but if she did this 0.99

00:51:57.300 That's a fucking mirage 0.99

00:51:58.840 That person doesn't exist 1.00

00:52:00.020 Fall in love with a pattern

00:52:02.060 See how she acts on every Tuesday

00:52:04.180 Every Wednesday

00:52:04.800 And be like alright cool

00:52:05.920 This is a person I can be with

00:52:06.820 For the rest of my life

00:52:07.380 And then when you guys

00:52:08.480 Are established

00:52:09.340 And there's things that

00:52:10.660 Tiny but like

00:52:11.320 Like hey babe

00:52:12.200 I don't like it 1.00

00:52:13.140 When you shit standing up 1.00

00:52:14.700 Why do you think my girl 1.00

00:52:15.540 Has fallen in love

00:52:16.340 With my pattern of farting

00:52:18.540 Cause they smell so bad

00:52:20.400 That it's like one of those

00:52:21.080 Bad smells where you're like

00:52:21.780 Oh god

00:52:22.540 How is it

00:52:23.280 How is that even possible

00:52:24.140 How is it even that

00:52:24.820 Did you have corn

00:52:25.940 Is that

00:52:26.820 Is that corn but ketchup

00:52:28.980 Ketchup corn 1.00

00:52:30.000 You sick bastard 1.00

00:52:30.940 Who mixes those two 1.00

00:52:31.800 She's starting to

00:52:32.580 I hope my chef doesn't watch

00:52:33.800 She's starting to slightly maybe resent the chef because of the meals that he's putting in her body.

00:52:38.600 You resent Eric?

00:52:39.520 I'm on a high-protein diet.

00:52:41.480 Bro, it's bad.

00:52:42.260 We'll be arguing.

00:52:43.060 Can you imagine the middle of an argument, bro?

00:52:46.120 A middle of a...

00:52:47.060 Like, bro, I'll do the fart.

00:52:49.120 You can do the talking, go.

00:52:50.040 Serious.

00:52:50.440 I'm like, baby, listen.

00:52:51.340 I have a lot to work on, and I'm trying, and I know...

00:52:55.340 That was a wet one.

00:53:01.980 He's been disgusting. 0.95

00:53:03.320 Whoa! 0.98

00:53:03.800 We went on that party bus

00:53:05.140 That's disgusting

00:53:05.560 We went on that party bus

00:53:06.640 The other night

00:53:07.080 And I would

00:53:07.860 I would get this 0.99

00:53:08.920 Fucking gaseous 0.99

00:53:10.280 Whiff of 0.99

00:53:11.420 That wasn't me

00:53:12.000 That wasn't me

00:53:12.600 That was Josie's friend

00:53:13.680 That was Josie's friend

00:53:14.460 Bella Bonobos

00:53:15.400 Yeah

00:53:15.680 Oh yeah she's a farter

00:53:16.900 Ketchup farts

00:53:18.040 She's a farter

00:53:19.180 Which one of

00:53:19.920 Which one of 1.00

00:53:20.460 Which one of fucking 1.00

00:53:21.480 Josie's 0.99

00:53:22.140 Victoria's Secret 0.51

00:53:23.200 Model girlfriends 0.99

00:53:24.440 Was shitting her pants 0.98

00:53:26.180 On the party 0.99

00:53:26.620 Something tells me

00:53:27.560 It was the 1.00

00:53:27.940 Boxing idiot 1.00

00:53:29.500 That's taking in 1.00

00:53:30.240 200 milligrams of protein

00:53:31.720 A second right now 0.99

00:53:33.020 who was just dropping mud in his fucking Lincoln Zelda outfit 1.00

00:53:37.840 the entire fucking night. 1.00

00:53:40.140 And everybody on the bus, the bus driver, 0.99

00:53:41.980 was driving into the guardrail.

00:53:43.960 You farted in front of her friends like that?

00:53:45.960 No, bro, no, not just in front of her friends.

00:53:47.480 In front of, like, the top ten models

00:53:49.960 and also, like, some strangely placed influencers

00:53:53.500 who I don't understand still why they were on the bus.

00:53:57.360 Why are you here? 0.99

00:53:58.380 Hey, your boyfriend stinks. 0.98

00:54:00.460 Can we talk about that, like, how random that was? 0.96

00:54:02.900 like okay so so we go we're going to this party uh whose party was it sam's right is that sam no

00:54:09.720 no no the party yeah the whole party the wicked rabbit who throws that party 0.98

00:54:15.100 all right great i don't know fuck so we're going to we're going to this party anyways we and we go 0.98

00:54:19.940 to get on this bus and it's like josie couple rail thin my other models like some like all 0.94

00:54:25.780 very pretty josie i'm not saying like that but i'm just trying to establish what i'm sorry so

00:54:31.640 So all these beautiful people

00:54:33.060 Canceled

00:54:33.660 And then

00:54:34.080 And then there's another group

00:54:35.520 Of like photographers

00:54:36.560 And then randomly

00:54:37.860 I'm like okay

00:54:38.960 I know that girl

00:54:39.560 I know that girl

00:54:40.040 That's it

00:54:40.340 That's Emma Chamberlain

00:54:41.360 It's the first time I met her

00:54:43.660 Why's she

00:54:44.620 That's Belle's favorite YouTuber

00:54:46.080 She's great

00:54:46.720 Yeah she's 1.00

00:54:47.280 I'm addicted to her shit now 1.00

00:54:49.180 Because of Belle 1.00

00:54:49.680 She's fantastic

00:54:50.400 And the worst part is 1.00

00:54:51.580 I always talk shit 0.99

00:54:52.620 I'm not gonna lie 1.00

00:54:53.300 I always fucking talk shit 0.99

00:54:54.640 On how like easy 1.00

00:54:55.780 This concept is

00:54:56.820 No she's brilliant

00:54:57.620 Oh she's brilliant bro

00:54:58.960 I watched her for 20 minutes 1.00

00:55:00.720 Put fucking cheese 1.00

00:55:02.020 Yeah 1.00

00:55:02.340 On it

00:55:02.920 What was it

00:55:03.800 Probably

00:55:04.300 Dude

00:55:05.420 Oh

00:55:06.140 Everyone loves charcuterie

00:55:07.800 That's a hard concept

00:55:09.000 Have you ever watched

00:55:09.660 Somebody put it together

00:55:10.760 For 20 minutes

00:55:11.720 While talking

00:55:12.800 I watched everything

00:55:14.320 It was amazing

00:55:15.340 I've watched her go to

00:55:16.200 Drive-thrus and eat

00:55:17.040 Vegan food on 1.00

00:55:17.900 Like she

00:55:18.500 Something

00:55:19.180 I think there are 0.66

00:55:20.020 Certain people in this world

00:55:21.140 Just have it

00:55:22.000 That have that thing

00:55:23.560 Where they're just like

00:55:24.340 They never have to say

00:55:25.720 To their fans

00:55:26.200 Oh I'm about to

00:55:27.020 Re-concept for next week's episode

00:55:28.860 Because the fans 0.98

00:55:29.580 Don't give a fuck 0.71

00:55:30.980 About the concept 0.90

00:55:31.660 4 million views

00:55:32.320 Put a camera 0.90

00:55:32.960 In the girl's face 1.00

00:55:34.000 Have her talk about 0.99

00:55:35.820 How flat the surface is

00:55:37.880 Yo yo

00:55:38.300 Do you know how old she is

00:55:39.860 No

00:55:40.500 12

00:55:41.020 13

00:55:42.140 Unbelievable

00:55:43.380 At that age

00:55:44.320 She's 19 0.85

00:55:45.900 Crazy 0.67

00:55:46.420 She's 19 0.69

00:55:47.220 And she has a coffee thing

00:55:49.120 And all that stuff

00:55:49.640 Yeah

00:55:49.860 19

00:55:50.400 I kept calling her

00:55:51.660 The coffee girl

00:55:52.320 I saw her

00:55:52.840 Knew who she was

00:55:54.320 Obviously

00:55:54.660 She saw me

00:55:55.740 It was like that weird thing

00:55:56.820 Where you uh

00:55:57.540 You know of each other

00:55:58.960 It's like you know

00:55:59.540 each other whatever and then she said she liked the podcast i said you have to come on sometime

00:56:02.280 oh i'd love that yeah we gotta get her on i love when you meet people at these like posh

00:56:06.940 parties because another one was the uh the david dobrik uh pseudo girlfriend perfume uh charlotte

00:56:15.380 deal i thought you were talking about charlotte north carolina no there's an apostrophe

00:56:24.860 D'Alessio

00:56:25.900 Is that right

00:56:26.520 Yeah

00:56:26.980 I talked to her

00:56:28.000 I got a chance to meet her

00:56:28.820 At this

00:56:29.140 At the party

00:56:29.720 Talked to a lot of girls

00:56:30.740 Huh

00:56:31.000 Mike

00:56:31.500 Plutonically

00:56:33.540 Plutonically 1.00

00:56:34.800 Yeah bullshit 0.98

00:56:35.440 It's not like you guys 0.71

00:56:36.300 Talked about anything meaningful

00:56:37.280 You're a good looking guy

00:56:37.560 Hey you and also you 1.00

00:56:38.840 Combine the crap 1.00

00:56:39.800 And then cut it 1.00

00:56:40.440 Cut the shit 1.00

00:56:41.300 Sorry 1.00

00:56:41.620 Alright

00:56:41.880 So I talked to this girl

00:56:43.460 Very quickly

00:56:43.960 By the way

00:56:44.900 Fantastic attitude

00:56:46.720 And energy

00:56:47.260 Great great person

00:56:48.160 Talked to her for a second

00:56:49.200 She said she was a

00:56:50.160 She had seen the Ben Shapiro episode

00:56:51.800 Wow

00:56:52.300 And it spilled into a conversation

00:56:53.760 About the podcast

00:56:54.560 and about Ben Shapiro

00:56:55.740 and left-leaning versus right-leaning

00:56:57.800 and socioeconomics,

00:56:59.100 I was like,

00:56:59.420 this girl could really hold her own

00:57:01.220 in a conversation.

00:57:02.060 It was quite refreshing.

00:57:03.020 This was at an L.A. party.

00:57:04.040 At an L.A. party.

00:57:04.640 I talked to her for 25 minutes

00:57:06.340 about everything from, you know,

00:57:08.900 the election coming up

00:57:10.180 and parties.

00:57:11.320 Where was I?

00:57:12.100 What was I doing while you were talking to her?

00:57:13.360 You were farting in the corner 1.00

00:57:14.260 like an asshole. 1.00

00:57:15.000 Farting and making faces 1.00

00:57:16.680 like you weren't farting.

00:57:17.800 It was like a one-two punch.

00:57:19.360 Like, I'm farting,

00:57:20.400 now I'm pretending not to fart.

00:57:22.240 Now I'm farting, now I'm making...

00:57:23.680 Give us an example of what that face looks like.

00:57:25.460 So he farts and then you go, do it for me.

00:57:32.160 Because it's warm and it tickles.

00:57:33.900 No, the key is to pressurize slowly, right?

00:57:39.900 If you let it go all at once, there's going to be audio that follows.

00:57:43.420 Yep, yep.

00:57:43.920 Right?

00:57:44.320 So you have to pressurize slowly and steadily.

00:57:48.280 You have a method?

00:57:49.200 Of course.

00:57:49.540 You got to keep it quiet.

00:57:50.260 That's classic.

00:57:51.100 No, no.

00:57:51.800 You got to keep it quiet.

00:57:52.740 and worse

00:57:54.100 what's worse

00:57:54.700 if you're on the party bus

00:57:55.520 when there's a lot of music

00:57:56.420 if you do it too quick

00:57:59.140 there's a vibration

00:57:59.960 that follows

00:58:00.620 amongst the seat

00:58:02.020 for all to feel

00:58:02.720 what if somebody

00:58:03.360 paused the music

00:58:04.020 right when you

00:58:04.500 tried to let it rip

00:58:05.300 that happened a couple times

00:58:07.420 a couple girls

00:58:08.320 were in the midst

00:58:09.180 of singing

00:58:09.520 the most obnoxious

00:58:10.200 part of your 0.70

00:58:10.620 most obnoxious song

00:58:11.680 girls just want to have fun 0.99

00:58:12.460 hit the peak part of it

00:58:13.840 and the driver's like

00:58:14.440 we're gonna be at

00:58:15.260 the absolute coach

00:58:16.080 gotcha

00:58:17.380 yeah just looked around

00:58:18.720 but yeah

00:58:19.620 he's talking about

00:58:20.360 the gaseous

00:58:20.880 decompression theory

00:58:21.840 Most dudes know about it.

00:58:23.260 How do you not know about this? 1.00

00:58:24.540 You're about to let a fucking bone-shattering rip out 0.99

00:58:27.900 at a fine dining establishment, and you're ready for this? 1.00

00:58:31.280 Watch.

00:58:31.560 It's a casual loosening of the sphincter.

00:58:34.680 That's all it is, okay?

00:58:35.880 So you're tightened up because you know it's coming,

00:58:37.920 and you are using varying ratio-driven metrics 0.95

00:58:41.840 to loosen your butthole as the fart pushes downward 0.97

00:58:45.860 because of gravity. 0.99

00:58:47.880 And now here's the problem.

00:58:49.480 Can you fart upside down?

00:58:51.840 Can you fart upside down?

00:58:52.660 Now you're asking questions that we don't have the answer to.

00:58:55.400 We don't even know.

00:58:55.420 That I don't know the answer to.

00:58:56.200 No, no.

00:58:56.740 But if you make a slight miscalculation on gaseous decompression, it actually compounds the fart.

00:59:03.760 Okay, so you have two choices.

00:59:05.260 You have this decompression, which is the right way.

00:59:07.960 You have full-on fallout, fallout boy we call it, which is just a disaster.

00:59:13.300 But if you fuck up at 50% of decompression, it's almost like a compounded exponential effect. 0.84

00:59:18.340 And so it's almost like three farts at once 0.95

00:59:20.400 Because you didn't follow through with your original strategy

00:59:22.260 Being a boy, I mean girls

00:59:23.580 Girls go through that too obviously

00:59:26.020 But I would presume that it's a little bit more

00:59:28.540 Prominent for males

00:59:29.800 And being a boy, there's a lot of that

00:59:32.200 Balance of the body

00:59:33.740 Balance of the inner workings of the body

00:59:35.960 That we have to master

00:59:37.780 You know, get down to a T

00:59:39.280 Something tells me that

00:59:41.000 I was about to shake my head and agree with you

00:59:44.380 But something tells me that we're absolutely wrong

00:59:46.180 On that because of the whole 0.99

00:59:48.020 having a giant set of boobs 1.00

00:59:50.040 that are fucking 1.00

00:59:51.040 falling all over the place 0.99

00:59:52.140 and the egg 0.58

00:59:53.100 that drops out of your ovary

00:59:54.660 like once a month

00:59:55.560 and like the hormones

00:59:56.460 I'm not talking about that

00:59:56.660 I'm talking about

00:59:57.560 I'm talking about

00:59:58.020 I'm talking about

00:59:58.520 farts 0.98

00:59:59.280 males 0.95

00:59:59.800 reaching the point of no return 0.99

01:00:02.340 on which 0.98

01:00:04.020 oh like when you shit your pants 0.94

01:00:05.180 after farting 0.98

01:00:05.760 well it's all circumstantial George 0.86

01:00:08.680 and now we're talking about sharts

01:00:10.400 have you sharted 0.93

01:00:11.620 I was

01:00:12.080 I was

01:00:12.460 have I sharted

01:00:13.420 I have one of the most famous sharts

01:00:15.340 in human history

01:00:16.920 that has been televised

01:00:18.680 and talked about

01:00:20.100 hundreds of thousands of times.

01:00:22.920 Do you know what I'm talking about?

01:00:23.880 Yeah, of course. 1.00

01:00:24.260 You shit your pants 1.00

01:00:25.320 at your sister's wedding. 1.00

01:00:26.340 In a tuxedo.

01:00:27.340 It's one of the most well-known.

01:00:28.500 It was rented, dude.

01:00:29.660 It's Men's Warehouse.

01:00:30.620 Imagine turning that suit back in.

01:00:34.060 I'm banned from Men's Warehouse.

01:00:36.120 Do you remember why?

01:00:37.120 Bro, he got a chicken sandwich

01:00:38.200 from the deli down the 7-Eleven.

01:00:40.620 A Cubano sandwich

01:00:41.680 from the gas station

01:00:42.700 the night before.

01:00:43.420 I was out by myself

01:00:44.240 meeting a Tinder date

01:00:45.080 in Washington.

01:00:45.100 You sleep in the bed.

01:00:46.520 That you make

01:00:47.320 I was talking about

01:00:49.260 I was talking about

01:00:49.740 Ejaculation

01:00:50.360 That's what I was talking about

01:00:51.240 What

01:00:51.500 How do we get here

01:00:53.060 The point of no return

01:00:53.860 Dude this compensation

01:00:54.720 The point of no return

01:00:55.480 Bro this point's been coming

01:00:56.760 For a while

01:00:57.300 Of no return

01:00:58.360 What do you mean

01:00:59.080 And we can't go back

01:00:59.680 Go

01:01:00.260 No it's just tough dude

01:01:02.460 It's tough 0.99

01:01:02.940 Wait what about jerking off 0.99

01:01:04.080 You know what I don't like 1.00

01:01:05.300 That girls are able to come

01:01:06.640 56 times in one city

01:01:08.120 No no no it's good

01:01:09.320 It's good

01:01:09.680 It's good

01:01:10.060 It's selfish

01:01:10.560 No no no no

01:01:11.500 It's good for them

01:01:12.580 You're jealous

01:01:13.520 I'm extremely jealous

01:01:15.020 Extremely jealous 0.99

01:01:16.340 Like, bro, when I used to sit and watch my ex-girlfriend masturbate with her magic wand. 0.99

01:01:21.580 Wait, what? 0.99

01:01:22.240 Wait, what?

01:01:23.460 Sorry.

01:01:24.000 And have I crossed some sort of line?

01:01:25.420 I feel like this is a decent topic.

01:01:26.840 What?

01:01:27.060 What did you say?

01:01:28.060 Wait, hold on, hold on.

01:01:28.720 Wait, this happens?

01:01:30.240 What's going on right now?

01:01:31.000 This happens?

01:01:31.340 Explain to me what your concern is. 0.99

01:01:32.740 You watch her masturbate? 1.00

01:01:34.120 Okay. 1.00

01:01:35.180 My ex-girlfriend is obsessed with masturbating. 1.00

01:01:39.260 Are you still allowed to talk about her? 0.99

01:01:40.940 Like, this open?

01:01:42.240 Bro, are we late enough into this episode? 1.00

01:01:45.500 I'm talking to the fucking chick 1.00

01:01:46.500 Like what the fuck dude 1.00

01:01:47.460 The relationship's on 1.00

01:01:48.420 Fucking 1.00

01:01:48.760 In a shitty place 1.00

01:01:49.960 Alright whatever 0.99

01:01:50.460 I guess I can say 0.99

01:01:51.140 Whatever the fuck I want 0.99

01:01:51.940 Girl loves 0.99

01:01:52.940 A girl loves to 1.00

01:01:54.100 Fucking masturbate right 1.00

01:01:55.120 With her Hitachi 1.00

01:01:56.000 Hitachi magic wand 1.00

01:01:57.320 Which a lot of girls 0.96

01:01:57.880 Out there use

01:01:58.360 I'll just be playing

01:01:59.680 Call

01:01:59.980 Call of Duty Warzone 1.00

01:02:00.880 This girl will run 1.00

01:02:02.040 Through a cycle 1.00

01:02:02.600 I'll be like

01:02:03.620 Yo how many times

01:02:04.380 Did you just come

01:02:05.080 And she'll say

01:02:06.320 Sometimes she'll say

01:02:07.260 18

01:02:07.680 Sometimes she'll say

01:02:08.480 60

01:02:08.800 This has gotten

01:02:09.920 To a point where

01:02:10.740 It's no longer

01:02:12.020 Relatable

01:02:12.880 I feel

01:02:13.620 There's somebody out there

01:02:14.700 Who does this

01:02:15.420 it is that and like honestly like but but just like like casually like she like you know normal

01:02:21.540 relationship maybe you're playing a video game maybe girls reading the book she'll just go to

01:02:25.440 town absolutely okay all right maybe maybe i'm the abnormal i say no it's no you're not you're

01:02:30.220 the normal i go babe what are you uh you're gonna watch something you're gonna turn on like maybe

01:02:34.940 some of your old content or like what are you what are you gonna watch and she says i'm thinking 1.00

01:02:38.320 About you and your stupid curly 1.00

01:02:40.320 Hair 1.00

01:02:40.680 And that made her come 19 times

01:02:44.340 Cap

01:02:45.520 Yo Ace can I ask

01:02:48.520 Are you ever like distracted while playing

01:02:50.320 Games and just in the back

01:02:51.140 She's not

01:02:54.320 Super vocal like that she goes

01:02:56.080 So what happens is this

01:02:58.440 Cause I've also not been

01:03:00.340 Playing games when she does sometimes we'll just be watching a movie

01:03:02.400 And she'll roll into it for

01:03:03.900 20 minutes okay

01:03:05.340 It's very simple ready for this

01:03:08.300 I'll explain it to you

01:03:09.340 First of all

01:03:10.300 I'll be watching the movie

01:03:10.860 Then I'll hear the sound

01:03:11.580 Of the magic wand

01:03:12.860 She won't even tell you

01:03:13.960 No she'll just grab it

01:03:14.840 And just start right

01:03:15.720 And she'll be under the blanket

01:03:16.940 She'll be under the blanket

01:03:18.120 And then

01:03:19.560 The bottom of the blanket

01:03:22.540 That I'm under as well

01:03:23.700 Will start to lift up

01:03:24.820 Because her feet are

01:03:26.040 Becoming rigamortis

01:03:27.840 And they're stiffening 1.00

01:03:28.760 All the girls 0.85

01:03:30.120 That know exactly

01:03:30.820 What I'm talking about

01:03:31.640 Their legs will become

01:03:33.060 Rigamortis

01:03:33.720 And start lifting

01:03:34.700 Uncontrollably

01:03:36.080 Off the couch

01:03:37.180 Danny's in headphones

01:03:37.980 Good

01:03:38.240 Lifting off the couch

01:03:39.740 Her chest will fill up with air

01:03:43.520 She starts levitating

01:03:45.520 She starts to levitate

01:03:46.480 And then I will simply hear this

01:03:51.700 And then

01:03:56.380 Almost as if she is lifted

01:03:59.480 From a

01:04:00.340 Seance or some sort of

01:04:03.440 Dream state she looks at me

01:04:05.460 Like this she goes

01:04:06.160 and i'm just like i go was that a good one or did that go as you had expected and she literally

01:04:14.360 goes she goes she goes and i hear like doesn't answer right back into it again so you and then

01:04:22.140 and then and then i'll just the day you'll start shaking legs lift off the ground

01:04:26.520 and i'm like and i'm like i i'll are you watching what are you watching minions no and then

01:04:37.280 anything there could be no children uh you know no country for old men whatever and then i think

01:04:42.120 to my i'm like i'm thinking to myself and she's so vastly enjoying it and there's all this tingling

01:04:46.240 going on and i think to myself and i'm like the last time i jerked off was 46 seconds of some of

01:04:53.800 the most guilty and regretful time of my life and i came into a an old sock and then went downstairs 0.99

01:05:00.800 and prayed for forgiveness like why are men's why is men's masturbation so much less stimulating 0.97

01:05:08.940 cool and exciting than women's i think it's because they have a tool i think it's because

01:05:13.140 they have an electronic also also i'm gonna make a bold statement for men's masturbation technology 0.64

01:05:20.700 has not kept up 0.88

01:05:22.120 with women's 0.99

01:05:23.440 a broad statement

01:05:24.540 right now

01:05:25.300 your go-to tool

01:05:26.560 go-to tool 1.00

01:05:27.660 for masturbation 1.00

01:05:28.520 is a dry 1.00

01:05:29.340 fucking hand 1.00

01:05:30.760 it's your hand 1.00

01:05:31.880 imagine if your

01:05:32.960 go-to tool

01:05:33.680 go-to tool

01:05:34.700 for searching

01:05:35.600 the internet

01:05:35.920 was your hand

01:05:36.700 we can't

01:05:39.300 we haven't improved

01:05:40.120 from something

01:05:40.720 that already existed

01:05:41.600 on our body 0.99

01:05:42.440 since the fucking 0.99

01:05:43.680 beginning of time 0.98

01:05:44.820 you remember

01:05:45.320 what they had

01:05:45.720 before that

01:05:46.140 like hold the hand

01:05:46.640 stones

01:05:47.440 they would just 1.00

01:05:47.800 rub it on shit 1.00

01:05:48.540 they'd be like 1.00

01:05:49.020 this feels great

01:05:49.600 This feels great

01:05:50.960 This feels great

01:05:52.220 And then some other guy

01:05:52.900 Was like

01:05:53.320 Hey stop doing that

01:05:54.240 And he's like

01:05:54.560 Wait keep doing that

01:05:55.460 I guess

01:05:56.200 Okay so I guess

01:05:57.220 Flashlights

01:05:58.420 Yeah but

01:05:59.080 That's

01:05:59.500 It's

01:06:00.120 Bro bro bro bro 0.83

01:06:01.100 Jerking off 0.77

01:06:01.980 Is kinda 0.63

01:06:02.740 It's just aggressive

01:06:05.320 You know

01:06:05.940 It's an aggressive action

01:06:07.940 Bro think 0.99

01:06:08.480 This is pathetic 1.00

01:06:09.780 You look like 1.00

01:06:12.140 You know what I'm saying

01:06:13.500 You look like

01:06:14.060 You look like 1.00

01:06:15.240 A fucking idiot 1.00

01:06:15.840 Bro 1.00

01:06:16.080 Women are like 1.00

01:06:17.160 They're specimens dude 1.00

01:06:18.860 Right

01:06:19.200 They're pieces of art

01:06:20.480 They're beautiful

01:06:21.280 And so there's a level of like finesse

01:06:23.860 And touch and taste 0.99

01:06:25.720 That goes into a woman's masturbation session 1.00

01:06:30.020 I think 1.00

01:06:30.420 I'm not a woman myself

01:06:31.760 Also here's another thing

01:06:33.000 It's like

01:06:33.580 Danny

01:06:34.500 Just so everyone knows

01:06:35.540 Danny has left the premise

01:06:37.400 We probably should have told

01:06:38.140 I didn't know this was going to go this far

01:06:39.380 But it's clearly

01:06:39.880 This is good content

01:06:41.140 I think

01:06:41.700 I'm going to text my mom

01:06:43.720 And say don't watch this one

01:06:44.500 But here's the thing

01:06:45.820 And this is the reason why 0.97

01:06:46.660 Guys tools suck 0.85

01:06:47.860 Because a fleshlight 0.98

01:06:49.120 Is something I would never buy

01:06:50.800 Because I

01:06:51.440 I'm always the type of guy

01:06:52.580 That thinks one step ahead 1.00

01:06:53.520 What the fuck 0.99

01:06:54.360 Do you do with this thing 0.99

01:06:56.120 When you're done

01:06:56.600 You wash it

01:06:58.160 You rinse it 1.00

01:06:59.560 You feel like an asshole 1.00

01:07:00.720 Just dishwasher proof 1.00

01:07:02.200 What the fuck do you do 0.99

01:07:03.580 No yeah 1.00

01:07:04.200 What do you do with this shit 1.00

01:07:05.520 And you know those fake butts 1.00

01:07:06.900 With the rubber

01:07:07.540 And the new

01:07:08.040 Yes

01:07:08.520 Who cleans this

01:07:10.060 Yeah you would

01:07:10.900 You just gotta stick it in the shower

01:07:12.380 Who cleans this

01:07:13.520 How far do I go with this

01:07:14.260 Well just tell me who cleans it

01:07:15.420 I can't get into this

01:07:17.740 There's no way

01:07:18.260 I can get into this conversation

01:07:19.000 He doesn't have one.

01:07:20.040 No, I don't have.

01:07:21.040 You have a flesh.

01:07:22.100 Tell me who cleans it. 0.99

01:07:22.900 Tell me who cleans it.

01:07:23.540 You never cleaned it once.

01:07:24.900 What?

01:07:25.360 What are you talking about? 1.00

01:07:26.800 The half man. 1.00

01:07:27.860 The torso man with the giant cock. 1.00

01:07:30.780 He got a torso man. 1.00

01:07:31.820 No head.

01:07:32.820 My ex-girlfriend has a half a man. 0.88

01:07:36.740 Isn't that all she needs?

01:07:38.400 Right, babe? 1.00

01:07:39.560 She has a half a man that has a penis that is filled with what seems to be a water bottle. 1.00

01:07:45.680 Or like a small squishy water bottle 0.99

01:07:48.080 That makes like a crinkling sound

01:07:50.160 When it's touched

01:07:51.600 But

01:07:52.640 And I've named them

01:07:54.140 Because I'll be honest

01:07:54.880 Like me and the homie 0.83

01:07:56.020 Have shared my girlfriend

01:07:56.900 A couple times

01:07:57.540 My ex-girlfriend 0.99

01:07:58.460 Is that fucked up? 1.00

01:07:59.560 It's fucked up 1.00

01:08:00.260 If he doesn't have a backstory 0.99

01:08:01.200 He is no

01:08:01.680 So I've started

01:08:02.900 Yes

01:08:03.760 Yes

01:08:07.340 That's the sound

01:08:09.740 And so I gave him a backstory

01:08:11.100 I called him

01:08:11.740 I called him like

01:08:12.420 I can't remember

01:08:12.980 I think it was like 0.98

01:08:13.600 Billy or some shit 0.99

01:08:14.660 Did it account for him 0.99

01:08:15.600 not having a head or legs well the hardest thing about it is i can't high five him while we're

01:08:19.500 doing it because he has no arms like i always wanted to be like in that scenario with like a

01:08:23.820 hot chicken just high five your homie i've done that with some of my boys in this room get that

01:08:28.140 but here's the problem my person has no oh wow no we have to cut that i have we have to yeah

01:08:33.900 because you wouldn't want either of your girlfriends to hear it right no no no no just

01:08:37.860 I didn't say it was you

01:08:39.860 I didn't say it was you

01:08:40.780 Alright that got wild

01:08:47.500 Thanks for listening to this episode of Impulsive

01:08:49.240 Oh you have to cut that

01:08:50.440 We'll cut it

01:08:50.960 No we'll cut the episode here

01:08:53.400 We appreciate you guys

01:08:56.900 Thanks for watching this episode of Impulsive

01:08:59.660 Hit that subscribe button

01:09:01.180 We'll see you next week

01:09:03.460 Lisa

01:09:05.780 Tell them about our new show

01:09:07.660 We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me.

01:09:10.800 I'm Lexi Iwanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

01:09:16.080 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

01:09:20.460 occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:09:24.640 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:09:29.780 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:09:33.980 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're

01:09:41.160 the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast, the Improvised Character

01:09:45.560 Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:09:50.460 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:09:53.540 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:09:55.760 Does the Pope dress up?

01:09:57.080 He winks on Halloween.

01:09:59.360 He gets right up next to the microphone.

01:10:00.640 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:10:04.220 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:10:09.520 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

01:10:14.020 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:10:17.000 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

01:10:22.660 the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:10:27.040 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:10:28.920 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:10:30.080 What?

01:10:30.640 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:10:32.120 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:10:34.180 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:10:36.140 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:10:39.400 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

01:10:42.380 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:10:45.340 Scam Goddess!

01:10:47.160 I'm Hamza.

01:10:47.840 And I'm Martin.

01:10:48.420 And we're the hosts of Out of Character,

01:10:49.580 the best podcast in the world.

01:10:51.740 It's really funny and a good time.

01:10:53.740 Yeah, yeah.

01:10:54.380 I think statistics just came back,

01:10:56.200 and we're one of the funniest two guys with mics,

01:10:58.500 and that's pretty hard to beat right now.

01:11:00.400 but it's true, actually.

01:11:01.960 Why should people listen to us?

01:11:03.260 Tell them.

01:11:03.700 Well, we're trendy.

01:11:04.580 We're funny.

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01:11:05.920 You get all your news here.

01:11:07.060 Not, you know, the facts,

01:11:08.320 but maybe our takes on it

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01:11:12.660 on the iHeartRadio app,

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Impaulsive with Logan Paul - November 03, 2020

E231 Dear Mr. President

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