Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E255 Tim Dillon Roasts Joe Rogan, Dr. Fauci & Dixie D'Amelio

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00:00:30.900 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

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00:02:12.680 That Dixie D'Amelio girl has that song, sometimes I don't want to be happy.

00:02:15.200 It's like, no, you're going to be happy. 1.00

00:02:18.020 And you're going to be happy now.

00:02:20.880 800,000 people a week are filing for unemployment.

00:02:23.060 You're singing in a mansion.

00:02:24.520 You're going to be happy or we're going to throw you in a volcano. 0.95

00:02:29.740 you visit me often in the bathroom early in the morning most times i'm naked yep today i wasn't 0.95

00:02:40.700 and you showed me a video today a pretty uh explicit video of you engaging in so i can't 0.99

00:02:45.540 even say what type of behavior with his uh standout girlfriend people know as lana rhodes

00:02:52.160 or amara depending on what channel you watch her on and uh just came to wonder at what point is

00:02:58.060 role-playing like full-on like schizophrenia oh like the person just keeps switching back

00:03:04.820 and forth between personalities like oh what point are you the guy from split well i think

00:03:10.460 when you try to take into a real world scenario so like so like she was a naughty nurse last night

00:03:16.760 if she shows up at like icu and tries to like perform an open heart surgery i think that we've

00:03:22.060 reached a place that we have an issue right all right it's a good start welcome back to impulsive

00:03:26.460 the number one podcast in the world thank you guys for listening watching viewing and subscribing

00:03:28.900 if you're not subscribed hit that subscribe button yeah man it's just um but don't show me

00:03:34.020 those videos anymore thank you was that like one of those like yeah don't don't don't show me those

00:03:40.020 videos no i i really don't care i swear to god my favorite part where she was like i really love my

00:03:45.660 job it's wild in the house that i'm moving from how are you i was okay until i heard that story

00:03:55.180 Is it because you're Christian?

00:03:56.740 Heard what story, by the way?

00:03:57.620 I think any religion would be against that.

00:03:59.340 Just start right off the rim.

00:04:00.840 Against what?

00:04:01.460 We were talking about Barstool. 1.00

00:04:02.640 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:04:03.660 I just, I just, like, first of all, you guys are watching this. 0.99

00:04:07.460 Nobody ever says, all right, rolling. 0.99

00:04:09.160 They just start fucking talking. 1.00

00:04:11.340 And when shit is gross, I know we started. 1.00

00:04:13.820 Like, as soon as he said that, I was like, oh, we're rolling. 1.00

00:04:16.100 Why do you act like you're any better than us?

00:04:18.820 Yeah.

00:04:19.260 No, I don't act.

00:04:20.100 I just necessarily perform better than you guys.

00:04:22.640 That's because you got Jesus on your shoulder.

00:04:24.480 Bluetooth?

00:04:24.760 Good for you.

00:04:25.580 You know what?

00:04:26.600 I'm not religious car.

00:04:28.140 Just, you know, I don't show my friends me having sex with my girlfriend or the fact 0.64

00:04:31.400 that you guys role play every single day. 0.96

00:04:33.240 How boring is your sex that you guys have to act like different people every day? 0.56

00:04:36.960 Like, do you guys that much hate each other? 0.96

00:04:38.960 You're like, hey, when we have sex, you don't be you and I won't be me. 1.00

00:04:42.560 And then we can finally fuck. 0.99

00:04:44.080 First, it was blue true. 1.00

00:04:45.580 And then now it's just role playing.

00:04:47.020 So you're above that. 1.00

00:04:47.980 You don't like to show your friends like nasty shit. 1.00

00:04:50.120 The first time I met you, you ran into the room with your dick in your hand, spinning 1.00

00:04:53.160 it like a helicopter blade. 1.00

00:04:54.340 singing I'm George of the Jungle.

00:04:56.280 I'll always remember it.

00:04:57.180 It was one of the most memorable things

00:04:58.880 I've ever seen you do.

00:05:00.220 I remember that.

00:05:00.600 Well, just flopping your...

00:05:02.120 You almost, like you said,

00:05:03.060 you almost took flight.

00:05:04.900 That's a little different.

00:05:06.020 Oh, is it though?

00:05:06.660 I mean, that's your girl, bro.

00:05:07.960 That's your girl.

00:05:08.960 That's your girl, man. 0.74

00:05:09.480 Oh, you think my girls... 1.00

00:05:10.740 You should never did that stuff before, huh? 1.00

00:05:12.160 Our guest today...

00:05:13.520 Our guest today

00:05:15.440 is an impulsive legend

00:05:17.240 returning to bring the house down.

00:05:18.540 He's our first official guest

00:05:20.220 inside of the new studio.

00:05:22.040 We gotta go big.

00:05:23.420 And the only way to do it

00:05:24.120 He's with Tim Dillon, ladies and gentlemen. 1.00

00:05:26.300 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:05:26.740 He's back. 1.00

00:05:27.440 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:05:28.180 Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim. 1.00

00:05:31.000 Thanks, brother.

00:05:31.960 Thank you so much.

00:05:32.480 Sorry for that story, by the way, Tim.

00:05:34.000 I think it was beautiful.

00:05:35.240 It's a beautiful moment showing someone in the bathroom,

00:05:37.680 you and your girlfriend. 0.95

00:05:38.660 We often get caught in what we call the dick sand. 0.98

00:05:41.680 Yeah.

00:05:42.160 It's so hard to get out of.

00:05:43.800 Yeah, it's tough. 1.00

00:05:44.700 So she's a naughty nurse. 1.00

00:05:46.160 Yeah. 0.71

00:05:46.620 Or a cheerleader, depending on what day you ask me.

00:05:48.680 Okay, and you're someone with symptoms of COVID.

00:05:51.860 COVID, a broken ankle.

00:05:53.620 Last night she said

00:05:55.660 I had an overwhelming amount of pressure

00:05:57.620 There was no real sickness

00:05:59.060 It was just an overwhelming amount of pressure

00:06:00.800 The worst part is

00:06:03.380 The video she's like

00:06:04.980 Don't worry I'll relieve you from the pressure

00:06:07.460 And Mike's like

00:06:08.220 Yes thank you nurse

00:06:09.880 It's like someone's holding a gun to his head 1.00

00:06:13.740 And they're like role play bitch 1.00

00:06:15.320 You have to get better at it 1.00

00:06:18.340 You ever do the RPG stuff

00:06:20.900 The role playing

00:06:21.460 Well, that's, you ever used an RPG in the bedroom?

00:06:25.420 I think when someone's hooking up with me, they're always pretending I'm someone else.

00:06:28.660 So I always imagine they're doing a role play in their head because their eyes are closed

00:06:33.380 and a lot of times they're screaming.

00:06:35.220 No, I've never, I'm not into like role playing.

00:06:37.680 I think it's just hot enough from like, I'm me, you're you.

00:06:40.560 Got it.

00:06:40.940 That's good.

00:06:41.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:42.180 That's good enough.

00:06:43.660 This is fun enough.

00:06:44.660 And I'm also bad.

00:06:45.640 Like I would want to be something that I'm believably not.

00:06:49.080 What, for example?

00:06:50.500 You know, I just want to be, I'd want to be a sport, like in sports or a fight. 0.94

00:06:54.420 Like it would be ridiculous. 0.79

00:06:55.980 Yeah. 0.66

00:06:56.100 I'm like a fighter.

00:06:56.860 I'd be like, I'm a boxer and you're, and they go, no, you're not.

00:07:00.400 You're not.

00:07:01.400 So I want, I'll do like a realistic role play where I'm like a manager at a, at an Island's

00:07:09.840 Burgers and Shakes.

00:07:10.900 I'm a manager. 1.00

00:07:12.760 Great.

00:07:13.560 And I'm a manager and you're a waiter who's going to be fired.

00:07:16.820 and you know and it's just

00:07:19.140 very and it's always sexual harassment

00:07:20.960 all my role plays are oh I'm committing a

00:07:23.060 felony in my head so that's

00:07:25.080 why I stay away from it because I'm like oh this is an abuse

00:07:27.080 of power this is not good

00:07:28.760 so I try to just stay away

00:07:30.600 look Tim

00:07:31.560 Joe Rogan says you're a national treasure

00:07:35.120 he also said the vaccine for coronavirus

00:07:36.840 was freshly fallen snow so

00:07:38.980 I love him to death but you know

00:07:41.040 he says a lot

00:07:42.240 he really does he also said

00:07:45.100 Connecticut. He also said Connecticut is

00:07:47.100 simply a highway between New York

00:07:49.400 and Boston. Every other day he talks to me, he's like

00:07:51.240 vitamin D cares COVID. I'm like,

00:07:53.080 I don't know, but all right, so I'm

00:07:55.200 just taking vitamin D, no mask, thinking I'm good.

00:07:57.340 So I'm going to drop dead on his advice.

00:07:59.260 I love him to death, but...

00:08:01.980 There's something about

00:08:05.080 conviction, even

00:08:06.420 if you know that

00:08:09.000 someone is so wrong,

00:08:11.120 where you can respect

00:08:12.260 their their beliefs in what they're saying sometimes he'll have like a doctor on his show

00:08:16.860 and then the beginning of the thing she goes no i'm not a doctor and then she'll just go

00:08:20.720 like she'll just still go she goes now listen i'm not a doctor but here's three hours of my

00:08:25.660 advice and you go okay this seems reasonable but he's always been about that uh don't listen to

00:08:31.700 anything i say type mentality he well yeah he's a comedian he's a really smart brilliant guy but

00:08:37.440 he has so much pressure on him because so many people listen and take everything he says word

00:08:41.600 for word and i think he's very smart he's very smart people on the show but it's a tremendous

00:08:45.520 amount of pressure to just have people like every day going like oh are you right about that because

00:08:52.080 he's talking he's just talking for three hours right i was thinking about that yeah i won't talk 0.77

00:08:56.800 to my friends for three hours i hate i hate people right is he i hate people we we always people but 0.99

00:09:04.160 also like fuck off the fans yell at us all the time because around the one hour and five minute 0.99

00:09:09.060 mark he always says how long we've been rolling and he turns to the team one at 110 120 and i 0.99

00:09:13.960 always say to him like listen i could do this right now free paycheck free for the next six 0.85

00:09:19.040 hours and it would be the best time of my fucking life right some people just love well you're like 0.78

00:09:23.400 me here's what mike does mike will ask someone a question and then answer it for them because mike 0.91

00:09:29.260 is me in the sense that we're really only ever having a conversation with ourselves

00:09:33.240 we're never really like no one else is ever in the room and it's just us saying what we want to do

00:09:40.160 and it's just like thanks for being here but no matter what you say it's it doesn't matter

00:09:45.140 it doesn't matter i've got a agenda a list of points i want to just work through in my own head

00:09:49.680 and you can eat a pokeball while i do that but who cares that's really what it is i don't know

00:09:54.440 i don't know how he does it yeah i don't know how he does it um rogan you're talking about yeah it's

00:09:58.940 and for so long it's tough he's really good at literally he listens listeners he really listens

00:10:04.820 and he's interested he cares about stuff he's curious so that's the thing i think that's that's

00:10:08.360 his shtick that allows him to be able to do it like he really cares and he's curious yeah but i

00:10:13.600 i was still wondering how someone can retain that much information in their head like how much does

00:10:18.660 he know how much is he listening incredibly intelligent guy he's incredibly intelligent

00:10:23.380 it and it's amazing when you talk to him how much he does retain from all of those different hours

00:10:29.300 of experts because he'll be able to cite things and talk about things where you're like i would

00:10:32.940 have forgot that that's the biggest thing yeah i think yeah that makes that he holds on to it and

00:10:37.500 then he when he does these three-hour interviews he's talking to somebody about like a book that

00:10:42.260 he's reading or wild they're good interviews wild yeah he's like a sponge but also i always tell him

00:10:47.640 too yeah as you get older and you learn more and you pick up from here and there you you almost

00:10:52.020 naturally become more conversational on a general set of topics you know what i'm saying it's kind

00:10:57.360 of an age and with it what is it with it with age comes wisdom right yeah but this dude is so well

00:11:02.380 studied we saw him at in hawaii you know on vacation at the four seasons resort and he's

00:11:07.100 always just laying there with the earbuds and probably listening to an audiobook or a podcast

00:11:11.500 he has that you know he has that in his head where he like likes uh a cool like he likes to

00:11:19.100 be really good at what he does yeah so he doesn't like to be half-ass at anything so if he's doing

00:11:23.800 stand-up he's really good at it if he's doing a podcast he wants to be really you know he wants

00:11:28.000 to be the best what about set design that one's that one's tough um that one is a that's a that's

00:11:35.500 a rough one that is a rough one you're not recording right no people have said he looks

00:11:41.740 like he's on the inside of a microwave i've seen so many different uh people call it the red pill

00:11:45.820 because it's this kind of pill-shaped red.

00:11:48.760 It's very interesting he went in that direction.

00:11:50.720 Is it in a bunker?

00:11:52.300 It's not in a bunker.

00:11:53.480 It's where it always is in like an office building.

00:11:55.380 Okay.

00:11:55.820 Weird how they make it a pill.

00:11:57.340 It's just a room that you go in and it feels it's not a round.

00:12:01.280 It's like a, it's just a room that they have that's like a rounded room.

00:12:03.720 Look, we talk about shapes all day.

00:12:05.220 Yeah.

00:12:05.440 I want to get to you.

00:12:06.320 Yeah.

00:12:06.680 You do a lot of political commentary.

00:12:08.720 You've leaned into your internet sketch.

00:12:12.260 i've leaned into that over the quarantine because there's nothing to do like and i love i love doing

00:12:18.380 that stuff and i love podcasting i love being funny any way i can so right now it's harder and

00:12:22.320 harder to do it live a lot of comedians haven't uh even tried to branch out they're in they're in

00:12:27.920 some trouble why well because that's all there is now so if you can't do anything online you're

00:12:32.760 in a little bit of trouble you uh you're performing live well we are i have live dates coming up but

00:12:38.480 But we, you know, I did them in last summer, last summer into the fall.

00:12:42.820 Cases went up again.

00:12:43.880 They shut down again.

00:12:44.980 So we had to take four or five months off.

00:12:46.960 And then hopefully we're doing them again late February, March.

00:12:49.380 We're hoping these things happen.

00:12:51.100 I saw some of the dates, but in a lot of ways, it's a very much an evolve or die mentality.

00:12:55.400 That's right.

00:12:55.800 And you've clearly took the evolution route while other people sit and wait for live shows to come back.

00:13:01.740 And now not only do you have sketches, but you also have a podcast of your own that's, by the way, doing very fucking well.

00:13:06.760 It does very well, and it's – I need to get it out.

00:13:10.000 So I have all this stuff in me.

00:13:10.860 I got to get it out.

00:13:11.540 I got to make people laugh.

00:13:12.400 That's – I'm built.

00:13:13.400 It's a sickness, whatever it is.

00:13:15.120 So I can't sit around and wait for somebody to let me walk into the comedy store.

00:13:18.880 I have to do something funny a few times a week just to feel good about myself.

00:13:24.700 I have a podcast.

00:13:25.820 You have a podcast.

00:13:26.840 Yes.

00:13:27.440 How do you feel about everyone having a podcast?

00:13:29.260 It's not good for society.

00:13:31.560 I'll tell you that's going to be a very big problem.

00:13:33.800 Fauci, one of my problems with Fauci is he went on all these podcasts.

00:13:36.760 Like the guy who's supposed to be finding the cure for coronavirus is like, you know, sitting there on H3H Street.

00:13:43.660 He's an influencer, yeah.

00:13:44.240 Yeah, it's like, get in the, he's on Frenemies.

00:13:46.740 Get in the lab.

00:13:48.020 Get in the lab and solve this problem. 0.95

00:13:50.720 Stop arguing with Trish Paytas.

00:13:52.260 But no, it's, he's, he's too many.

00:13:55.120 He's on too many pod games on everybody.

00:13:57.580 He presented an award at the digital VMAs.

00:14:00.140 I'm like, get him, get him in a lab.

00:14:02.500 You know why?

00:14:03.200 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:03.540 Because Fauci fucks. 1.00

00:14:04.660 He fucks. 1.00

00:14:05.040 He does. 1.00

00:14:05.540 That's what he does. 1.00

00:14:06.120 he fucks 0.99

00:14:07.320 what a great name to say that with 0.99

00:14:09.860 it rolls off the tongue

00:14:12.180 you could tell he's just itching

00:14:14.420 for that little bit of celebrity

00:14:15.500 he's such a performer

00:14:17.400 that's been a nerd for 30 years in a lab

00:14:20.280 and no one's cared he's like one day 1.00

00:14:22.020 we're all gonna be fucked and everyone's like shut up 1.00

00:14:24.340 and he's just a nerd 1.00

00:14:26.220 and every day and then this happened

00:14:28.100 and you gotta admit there was probably a little spring in his step

00:14:30.540 like when the cases started skyrocketing

00:14:32.200 he was walking around his house like today's the day 0.99

00:14:34.620 I'm slinging dick 0.98

00:14:35.540 today's the day i'm everywhere like he was a tiktok kid in that moment he was like everyone cares 0.99

00:14:41.820 about me right so even though it was like very bad it's a pandemic you know there was a little

00:14:46.340 part of him that's like this is my time yeah it's so funny when you see someone get made likable on

00:14:52.160 the tail end of someone else's unlikability yeah like he was made famous by how much people didn't

00:14:58.060 like how trump talked about him and his ways you know what i'm saying yeah and people felt that

00:15:02.420 Cause he's a little guy.

00:15:03.440 I mean,

00:15:03.640 he threw that pitch out at the,

00:15:05.440 that was,

00:15:05.900 I mean,

00:15:06.440 he threw a pitch.

00:15:07.080 He's just guy working.

00:15:08.240 Why?

00:15:10.180 That's why we have,

00:15:10.920 that's why we have a pandemic.

00:15:12.240 Cause he's so busy doing podcasts and throwing pitches out.

00:15:15.220 He'll have a single soon.

00:15:16.440 He's the guy who came up with like the vaccine.

00:15:18.800 No,

00:15:19.000 he's the guy who came up with the savage dance.

00:15:20.720 Yeah.

00:15:21.060 He came up with that.

00:15:22.380 No,

00:15:22.720 he came up with don't go outside.

00:15:24.480 Like he came up with,

00:15:25.700 you know,

00:15:25.940 what we need to do supposedly to kind of cure it.

00:15:27.960 And it's like,

00:15:28.780 it's so weird.

00:15:29.420 Cause every public health director looks horrible.

00:15:31.640 like they all look horrific like everybody

00:15:34.080 in charge of health in the country looks

00:15:36.120 dead and then they all come out to a

00:15:38.140 podium and they're like

00:15:39.040 and then they walk out and they look at you and they're like no

00:15:41.960 tennis and then they go back

00:15:43.620 like a hole they go into a crevice

00:15:46.040 where they live and you go get

00:15:47.780 someone that looks healthy

00:15:50.060 to tell us what to do

00:15:51.740 but he literally is now

00:15:53.480 the Bryce Hall of the administration

00:15:55.980 he's the guy

00:15:57.520 dude I heard recently he's been working

00:15:59.960 on potentially doing the bust it challenge

00:16:01.580 You know, the one where they come out and then they drop it real low.

00:16:04.360 Yeah, he'll do it.

00:16:05.120 He'll do it.

00:16:05.820 He'll bust it.

00:16:07.260 Tim, at first glance, this doesn't look.

00:16:10.160 I didn't know this was you.

00:16:11.480 This is role playing.

00:16:12.160 This is role playing.

00:16:14.320 I didn't know this was you.

00:16:15.760 This is what I dress up like when I role play.

00:16:17.740 You want to know?

00:16:18.780 Like this.

00:16:20.300 So this is fantastic.

00:16:21.680 This is our new health director. 0.99

00:16:23.560 She has, you know, she's an interesting lass. 0.61

00:16:26.600 Yeah, there's a.

00:16:28.100 Have you done a Newsome sketch?

00:16:29.500 I didn't.

00:16:30.260 I didn't do a Newsome sketch.

00:16:31.160 we missed it

00:16:31.820 I was out of town

00:16:32.700 when he did that dinner

00:16:33.520 it would have been really fun

00:16:34.300 because he went to

00:16:34.840 in the middle of quarantine

00:16:35.940 Gavin Newsom went

00:16:36.780 just hanging out

00:16:37.520 he went to the French Laundry

00:16:39.200 vineyard

00:16:39.580 yeah

00:16:39.800 in a

00:16:40.600 clearly inside

00:16:42.220 he's like inside drinking wine

00:16:43.760 with a bunch of other people

00:16:44.620 that are really rich

00:16:45.240 and that was when

00:16:46.400 everybody was like

00:16:48.060 locked down

00:16:48.960 businesses were closed

00:16:49.960 and he was going out

00:16:51.580 every day going

00:16:52.160 you can't

00:16:52.960 you know

00:16:53.200 how dare you

00:16:54.060 and then him

00:16:54.940 and a lot of these guys

00:16:55.900 are doing it

00:16:56.220 the mayor of Austin

00:16:56.840 went on vacation

00:16:57.520 like a lot of these guys

00:16:58.860 are doing it

00:16:59.280 and they're getting caught

00:16:59.940 so that would have been

00:17:00.500 a fun one

00:17:00.900 We didn't do it, sadly.

00:17:02.280 The mayor of Miami can do it because they don't have COVID there.

00:17:05.500 They never had a single case.

00:17:06.860 The club's never closed.

00:17:08.300 They had never had an issue.

00:17:09.900 So the mayor of Miami will go show up with purple to live Miami. 0.85

00:17:13.220 It's okay. 0.90

00:17:14.000 They don't care. 0.99

00:17:14.480 It's absolutely fucking fun. 0.98

00:17:15.380 Miami's about a lifestyle, and COVID's not involved. 0.96

00:17:17.840 Not a part of it.

00:17:18.380 Miami sells lifestyle, and they have no interest in COVID or pneumonia or dying. 1.00

00:17:23.820 It's Latin sex, white couches. 1.00

00:17:27.720 White lines. 1.00

00:17:28.520 Yeah, white lines, and that's it.

00:17:30.440 And if you don't fit into that

00:17:31.580 Get out

00:17:32.000 And COVID certainly does not

00:17:33.420 Yeah

00:17:33.700 It does not fit

00:17:34.380 No COVID doesn't fit in there

00:17:35.740 They're not entertaining it

00:17:37.180 Right

00:17:37.520 So look

00:17:38.360 Can I

00:17:38.940 I don't know if I can say this

00:17:39.960 But you can say it all

00:17:40.820 You called me

00:17:41.460 Yes

00:17:41.900 The other day

00:17:42.700 I did

00:17:43.080 It was him

00:17:43.480 It was Tim Dillon

00:17:44.100 I called

00:17:44.620 Said yo are you staying in California

00:17:46.500 Yeah

00:17:46.920 Are you

00:17:47.900 No

00:17:48.500 I'm out

00:17:49.500 I'm out soon

00:17:50.620 I was thinking about it

00:17:52.400 It's been weird

00:17:53.860 Joe moved

00:17:54.640 Some of my friends had moved

00:17:56.180 Tom Segura

00:17:56.860 Another comedian moved

00:17:57.860 Joey Diaz

00:17:59.400 a really funny comedian move everyone's kind of leaving michael gruen's leaving in miami who

00:18:03.920 can be kind of convinced me he had a sharp kid he's a smart guy he's like a legend i go into

00:18:09.180 his clubhouse room every night and it's like it's like him and bryce hall and warren buffett in

00:18:14.120 clubhouse the strangest disgusting and i'm like what is going on but he's somehow michael gruen 0.52

00:18:20.580 has taken all the tiktokers and every financial mind in this country and blended it's like it's

00:18:26.520 a legend whatever's happening is legendary and i just he lets me in his room and i'm just goofy

00:18:30.660 and i make people laugh and like i listen to really smart people all the time but michael 0.98

00:18:34.800 was like yeah you're an idiot if you stay go trailblaze somewhere else and like go be a part 0.99

00:18:39.620 of a growing city uh another you know and i was like man so i'm going down to texas i mean i called 1.00

00:18:44.060 a realtor i got off the fight decided i've decided yeah i called you and what you said really stuck

00:18:48.920 with me you're like yeah a lot of people are out of here and like i'm like you know at the end of

00:18:52.620 the day i'm like i think i love la i came here it gave me a career and it was like joe and all

00:18:57.440 these guys and working at the comedy store these were all great things but like it just feels like

00:19:02.140 something is ending here i agree it feels like something's ending and i feel like cities like

00:19:06.400 miami and austin seem to just maybe be more interesting at the moment is that are you going

00:19:11.440 to austin i'm going to austin is like 30 minutes outside of austin fucking awesome it is such an

00:19:17.720 amazing city yeah vibrant one blue dot in the middle of the blood red state of texas yeah

00:19:23.680 what's the street six nine nine six there's a number there's a number street six street

00:19:29.620 six street and then there's another i think there's like delaney or some other area with like

00:19:33.660 bars that you go into that have slides you go 45 minutes you go 30 45 minutes out and not even

00:19:39.060 you get lakes beautiful like natural like i i love it so i'm gonna get a house out there

00:19:44.500 and just chill

00:19:45.660 and do the podcast out there

00:19:46.740 and still come to LA

00:19:47.800 and still go to New York

00:19:48.740 and still travel

00:19:49.520 but I like to be like

00:19:51.040 a home base there

00:19:51.860 maybe

00:19:52.200 you're decided

00:19:53.160 I decided within

00:19:54.460 within 24 hours

00:19:55.920 I talked to him

00:19:56.560 I spoke to Gruen

00:19:57.580 I spoke to a few other people

00:19:58.860 they were all 1.00

00:19:59.900 the Nelk kids 1.00

00:20:00.800 are going to Florida 1.00

00:20:01.380 like a lot of people

00:20:02.180 are just leaving

00:20:03.000 the Nelk

00:20:03.620 they're going 0.83

00:20:04.340 yeah they're going to Florida

00:20:05.580 what's going on with you

00:20:06.660 what's going on with you

00:20:07.280 and Nelk

00:20:07.620 you guys been spending

00:20:08.240 some time together

00:20:08.840 just friends

00:20:09.880 nothing more than that

00:20:10.720 I just had dinner with them

00:20:11.640 they're just fun kids

00:20:12.620 I respect

00:20:13.060 I like people that are

00:20:14.380 funny and their stuff makes me funny i mean yeah i know that you know pee on old people in grocery

00:20:19.120 stores or whatever but what it's funny you know i mean they like blow up cars but anything not

00:20:23.600 funny um is anything not like can you go to can you go too far sure with your pranks and jokes

00:20:29.660 like yeah like when you see kids smashing milk gallons on their head in the grocery store yeah

00:20:35.100 is that funny no not to me but to someone that's the problem that's a great point someone thinks

00:20:42.560 do you know the kids who did that way back in the day you remember this yes gallon smashing

00:20:49.080 right you slip and fall you throw the gallons of milk in the air and smash yeah right toss

00:20:53.920 chuck the milk of the people hurt themselves doing that they got banned for you from youtube for i

00:20:59.020 think two years like black blacklisted and they also got sued for a hefty amount of money yeah

00:21:04.960 and i'm seeing yeah and i'm seeing it uh sort of this resurgence of gallon smashing on tiktok i

00:21:11.120 I don't like how this conversation, it just seems so weird to me.

00:21:14.140 Like, I don't want, like, why are they being,

00:21:16.280 why are they being blackballed or censored for gallons, Matt?

00:21:19.340 You could, you could probably.

00:21:20.180 This is what I'm saying.

00:21:21.060 I think it's one of those is too, I think it's too far, dude.

00:21:23.400 Well, you could probably monetize a video right now of, like you said, 0.99

00:21:27.360 you're, you peeing on a bum. 0.96

00:21:29.060 Like you probably could monetize. 0.88

00:21:30.900 So why can't you throw milk in the air?

00:21:33.340 Well, I just, and that's.

00:21:34.740 The dairy industry has a very strong lobby.

00:21:36.720 But that's my question. 0.99

00:21:38.180 And they do not fuck around. 0.99

00:21:39.520 Don't damage yogurt. 0.98

00:21:41.120 you could go too far and people let you know like i think we're living in a time now where nothing

00:21:45.860 is ever going to be funny to everybody and nothing will ever not offend someone yeah so you're you're

00:21:50.920 working with percentages what do you get offended by people people that aren't see i'm the opposite

00:21:56.320 where i get offended where if you waste my time so like if you're doing something that isn't funny

00:22:00.580 and it's like you know you're you're being too self-important or too uh political and it's it's

00:22:07.200 like transparent i'm like oh that offends me just because you're taking my time and that annoys me 0.94

00:22:13.160 like cringe shit like if somebody swim people or it's really self-serving not wasting other people's 0.57

00:22:19.060 time yeah skill right that's true i i recognize i appreciate when people have that skill right i 0.97

00:22:26.740 love that i think there's too many people out there that think that that uh the time is just

00:22:31.820 something that you can just you know are you guys talking about the importance of entertainers being

00:22:36.340 entertaining right now kind of no i'm not even talking about that because listen i'm just talking 0.94

00:22:41.080 about because because oh because listen social media has given a platform to every fucking 0.98

00:22:46.120 moron in the entire world yeah which is good for good and bad right but like like you said there's 0.99

00:22:52.060 a lot of people out there who are just they just want to say something and you have to swim through 1.00

00:22:58.440 that fucking muck all day but if you find yourself wasting your time by sitting there watching 0.97

00:23:04.840 An unimportant 1.00

00:23:06.460 Misinformed

00:23:07.820 Illogical video

00:23:08.720 That's your fault

00:23:09.300 For sure

00:23:09.680 I'm talking about

00:23:10.540 In real life

00:23:11.120 I agree

00:23:13.100 You walked out of

00:23:13.900 A premiere once

00:23:14.560 Because they like

00:23:15.120 Were taking away

00:23:15.660 Don't waste my

00:23:16.220 Don't waste my time

00:23:17.100 Yeah

00:23:17.460 Seriously it's huge

00:23:18.720 I had a homie

00:23:19.680 Call me the other day

00:23:20.440 He goes

00:23:21.800 He goes

00:23:23.380 Hey man

00:23:23.780 I just want to send you

00:23:24.580 Good energy right now

00:23:25.620 That's horrible

00:23:26.400 Why

00:23:26.980 No I mean

00:23:28.000 Is that all he called for

00:23:29.240 Yeah

00:23:29.780 I mean that's horrible

00:23:30.600 I agree with you

00:23:31.660 I mean that's horrible

00:23:32.020 You want to talk about time

00:23:33.160 You're talking about time

00:23:34.280 I would block that person

00:23:36.020 If someone called my phone

00:23:38.160 I'm so with you

00:23:38.880 And said I want to send you good energy

00:23:40.200 I said

00:23:40.540 Keep it

00:23:41.160 You're blocked 1.00

00:23:42.140 Keep the fucking energy 1.00

00:23:42.820 I will never speak to you again 1.00

00:23:44.120 Go away

00:23:45.520 I liked it

00:23:46.140 I would be like 0.96

00:23:46.780 Did you just kill someone? 0.92

00:23:47.980 Like I would be so suspicious 0.73

00:23:49.240 I'm like

00:23:49.960 Did you just choke your girlfriend out?

00:23:51.460 What happened? 0.99

00:23:52.040 I'm so with you

00:23:53.040 That is such a guilt thing

00:23:54.600 No

00:23:54.780 Just hitting you up to wish you well

00:23:56.420 Let you know that you're loved

00:23:57.460 Oh man

00:23:58.100 That's what

00:23:58.660 That's the equivalent

00:23:59.340 And he said

00:23:59.940 I don't want to waste your time

00:24:00.800 I don't want anything from you

00:24:01.660 That's all

00:24:02.020 And I was on my way

00:24:03.400 to a sparring session and i was a little tired so i used it it was it felt it felt good i'm with

00:24:08.360 you on that these guys you guys you i mean but i i would do that and then ask you for 100k like i

00:24:13.500 would go right like i'd go right into listen now that i've got you on the phone i've got you on

00:24:19.920 the phone how's that love i said i got a great idea i'm i'm you know cash poor is the term

00:24:24.700 and i really want to no i mean i get what you mean it was quick it was like a quick little

00:24:29.240 i love you good luck that was it yeah okay appreciated it nothing wrong with that i guess

00:24:34.240 why uh you just blocked him i did block him i'm impulsive yeah yeah and a word from our sponsors

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00:25:54.080 to the program i'm just scrolling on your instagram here yeah why are you shitting on 0.94

00:25:59.040 cleveland ohio well you know the answer that's the thing about cleveland i've been i love cleveland 0.96

00:26:03.800 i've been in cleveland like four or five times i go all the time and i make fun of it and they

00:26:07.680 love it because it's like half the city's a hospital it's true i mean the cleveland clinic

00:26:11.940 owns half of the city you go to walk into mcdonald's it's somebody's getting an ekg

00:26:15.100 everything's a hospital the food in cleveland is so unhealthy it's like it doesn't even give

00:26:22.280 you gas it stays in your stump they have something called a polish boy sandwich yeah which is like

00:26:27.040 a sausage and just i don't even know feces it's on a and it's like and you eat it it does you 0.99

00:26:32.540 don't even get gas it just stays like right here in your fucking sternum and it's so but i i like 0.97

00:26:39.320 it it's desolate it's it's it's heyday was 100 years ago no but i disagree you think so it's 0.99

00:26:45.880 coming back i think it's gonna come up i think i think cleveland is a stock where right now you

00:26:50.340 buy buy low right now cleveland is a stock that's being manipulated on reddit right now and it will

00:26:55.260 probably but no i mean i hope you're right i love the audiences there i love the people there

00:27:00.020 but we're the we're the best people that and we're the worst people that um i interesting

00:27:05.800 arizona's got some rough ones arizona's got some great ones but they've got some rough ones 0.59

00:27:10.440 there's george there's something sorry there's something about the level of tan drunkenness 0.59

00:27:16.560 you got to pick one like the level of how tan you are and how drunk you are it becomes a problem

00:27:22.540 there's an intersection of intoxication and tan when as an audience for comedy becomes right

00:27:27.580 because by the way they're a good audience i love them and i go there leather tan or leather tan

00:27:32.000 hammered people uh they just are wild and unpredictable and the worst no they're not

00:27:38.640 the worst at all the worst yeah the worst is like people that are too smart like that are that are

00:27:44.900 too cerebral and you could find them in cities maybe like san francisco yeah yeah where you go

00:27:50.880 there and they're like and they're they're very impressed with themselves and uh la audiences can

00:27:57.580 be great but it can be you know can also be everything else it can be you know like like

00:28:01.680 really good looking young people that don't need to laugh at anything so if you're an instagram

00:28:06.140 influencer and you're like 19 and hot uh you know you're not gonna you don't need to laugh at anything

00:28:13.260 Well, it actually is a detriment.

00:28:14.780 Laughing gives you wrinkles.

00:28:16.380 Right, right.

00:28:17.420 So like sometimes the Hollywood improv,

00:28:19.300 like there'll be just people there

00:28:20.420 that like kind of stare at you

00:28:21.620 and sometimes they're great.

00:28:23.300 But I like the working class people

00:28:25.720 that come to those clubs.

00:28:26.700 Like Connecticut probably has a great, great crowd.

00:28:29.100 Connecticut has some good crowds.

00:28:30.500 Why does Joe Rogan hate Connecticut?

00:28:32.220 Connecticut's like, it's almost nothing.

00:28:35.580 It's like, it has like, I know you love it, but.

00:28:39.060 Look from there.

00:28:39.940 I know, but didn't you, this is like me and you,

00:28:41.640 we have a lot of similarities.

00:28:42.940 I'm from Long Island

00:28:44.140 You're from Connecticut

00:28:44.820 That's where we literally 1.00

00:28:46.220 Almost destroyed our lives

00:28:47.500 Right

00:28:47.700 And all we talk about

00:28:48.460 Is how great they are

00:28:49.140 Great it is

00:28:49.600 All we talk about

00:28:50.240 Is how great they are

00:28:50.700 Our behavior

00:28:51.480 While in those two places

00:28:52.500 Was horrible and criminal

00:28:54.160 And deadly

00:28:55.300 And all I can talk about

00:28:56.240 Is the pizza

00:28:56.780 Yeah

00:28:57.040 They got great pizza there

00:28:58.200 What are you talking about

00:28:58.860 You did heroin

00:28:59.800 For 10 years

00:29:01.140 I would do coke all night

00:29:02.340 And then wait for

00:29:02.960 Bagel Place to open

00:29:03.880 And I talk about it

00:29:04.780 Like it's the greatest place

00:29:05.840 It's ever been

00:29:06.460 Connecticut Long Island

00:29:08.140 Very similar 1.00

00:29:08.700 A lot of white trash 1.00

00:29:09.760 Yeah 1.00

00:29:10.080 A lot of good food

00:29:11.240 And a lot of

00:29:12.360 nothing else like it's not a cultural place and a massive disparity between wealth and and and

00:29:18.540 like you got the hamptons out there and then two seconds later you got the walt whitman mall and

00:29:23.000 that's and that's connecticut you have greenwich and then you have something else bridge yeah new

00:29:26.800 you know but it's i mean yeah it's like it's it's it's uh it's not the worst place but it ain't

00:29:33.900 great you're pretty uh pretty out there sometimes oh boy i hope so i'm i'm just connecting some

00:29:43.600 dots here yeah this picture on your instagram yes i met this kid three years ago and i've

00:29:49.380 watched him become the best podcast producer in la an amazing video editor and the guy i 0.99

00:29:53.560 counted more than anyone he is transitioning tomorrow and i am buying him a pussy he will 0.99

00:29:57.440 then be fired as a woman but it's been a great run that's the guy over there yeah yeah 0.99

00:30:02.580 Uh, in my defense, I, I, I wanted a male producer and, uh, and that's why he has to go, but 0.91

00:30:10.900 that's your choice.

00:30:11.680 Is that, I mean, it's your choice. 0.98

00:30:12.840 I'm going to buy him a puss and I call him.

00:30:15.480 No, but in all seriousness, I do call my business manager every now and then just for fun.

00:30:19.940 And I go, cause I have two guys that I pay that work with me and I go, listen, they're

00:30:23.620 both transitioning. 0.99

00:30:25.540 This is crazy. 0.99

00:30:27.000 The coincidence, but we got to pay, like we got to pay.

00:30:29.420 And my business manager has to be like

00:30:31.620 Why do you have to be paying for the surgery?

00:30:34.460 He has to kind of be serious about it

00:30:36.200 He knows I'm kidding

00:30:36.960 He still has to be like

00:30:38.740 I'm like dude, this is like blindsiding me

00:30:40.940 It's catching me

00:30:41.880 I had no idea

00:30:42.620 But they're dealing with things 1.00

00:30:43.660 So can we start them on hormones?

00:30:45.520 And then he's like

00:30:46.180 He's like

00:30:47.100 Well, he goes

00:30:48.440 There's a lot of complex

00:30:49.580 And I'm like dude

00:30:50.360 I'm kidding around

00:30:51.320 Merry Christmas

00:30:52.100 I called him at Christmas 0.98

00:30:53.320 Has he bought you the puss? 0.97

00:30:55.480 No 0.88

00:30:55.880 Not yet

00:30:56.580 No, we're taking him to Texas though 1.00

00:30:58.240 how nice no pussies there lots of good i'll be sending you better put those feelings right back 0.99

00:31:04.380 deep in you and cover them up with brisket and you good yeah we'll be sending you good energy man 0.93

00:31:08.380 every day do you uh do you ever talk to sasha baron colin i've never talked to him he's a

00:31:13.180 brilliant guy i've never spoke to him it would be interesting to speak to him because i think he's

00:31:16.820 one of the greatest comedic minds ever but then he does say some things about online stuff and

00:31:21.740 censorship i just want to understand why he feels the way he feels more because i disagree when i

00:31:27.900 hear him but i maybe there's things that he could enlighten me on that make me he's pro he's pro

00:31:34.220 censorship he's very much pro that and i'm not so interesting yeah he's very much for him especially

00:31:39.720 for him but i think he feels it like companies like facebook and stuff like they really have

00:31:44.800 to clamp down and twitter and stuff like that whereas i feel like that's a real slippery slope

00:31:49.760 and it ends in a bad place but again he's a guy i have so much respect for comedically that

00:31:54.960 be interesting to see hear why he felt i think he feels that way because he wants a better world

00:31:59.020 and he wants people to be treated better yeah his intent is good his intense good i just feel like

00:32:03.440 the way getting there uh through uh censoring people isn't the way to do it uh because it's

00:32:10.460 all the issue of who's doing the censoring why they're doing the censoring what's your what's

00:32:14.560 your opinion on does anything need to be censored and part and parlay that to twitter just is uh

00:32:19.740 testing a tool right now i think called like bird watch or something i can't remember what it was

00:32:23.420 where the community is able to actually vote on the horrible idea i know horrible well well

00:32:29.760 they don't like you but but here's what i think it does i think it democratizes the decision

00:32:34.580 making around the around it so as opposed to just jack at jack saying yo this dude can't be here

00:32:40.460 it then trickles down to a hundred other people there's gotta be a process for sure if you are

00:32:45.380 accused of something or if they want to get rid of you you should have to have you have the ability

00:32:50.280 to defend yourself right there's got to be some transparency they can't just say your account is

00:32:55.060 locked and suspended forever uh there's got to be some transparency like here's why we want you out

00:33:00.020 and here's what you can do about it and there should be some type of process i think that's

00:33:04.760 the way you got to do but like if you're harassing people or or you know being at you know doxing

00:33:09.680 people putting out their information advocating you know trying to hurt them or something i get

00:33:14.040 where it gets sticky and people might have to go that's not sticky they have to i mean at the end

00:33:17.980 of the day there's a responsibility there to protect the lives but it's just the lines of 0.96

00:33:21.240 all that stuff's very weird right because people harass me all the time people say shit about me

00:33:25.560 it's fine it's like i i put out a lot of stuff i say a lot of crazy stuff if people say it back

00:33:30.900 to me that's okay so the internet's got to make room for that there's got to be a space for people

00:33:35.080 to tell you a lot of things about you that you don't like right that's the whole that's the

00:33:39.400 thing they could still do that but i think the thing the the part that people leave out a lot

00:33:42.920 of times is since these are private organizations a lot of times they're limiting liability that

00:33:47.340 could then be used against them so like if somebody's on a rampage and and uh just skirting

00:33:52.640 the line of free speech but kind of encouraging violence like as soon as that goes over the line

00:33:57.600 yeah they then get sued for for you know being liable they could be found liable and lose money

00:34:03.280 as a result of it so i think it's it is as you said a very very tricky yeah there's there's a

00:34:08.500 space there and i'm not one of these people that's like everything should be allowed it's like there's

00:34:12.660 there's got to be a space but like i think you just got to know you you should if you're a user

00:34:17.200 of one of you should have the right to know why you're being taken off and if there's anything

00:34:21.260 you can do about it for sure because i make jokes all the time where i go that joke could be seen

00:34:27.060 by somebody and they could go we don't like this guy i'm some of my podcasts demonetize on youtube

00:34:31.820 i don't know why it just happens so i think that like there's all these algorithms and stuff nobody

00:34:37.700 really understands why that now that's a nobody gets it that's a big one the youtube one's a big

00:34:42.460 our first episode back uh demonetized and uh shadow it's is it really you started the episode

00:34:49.560 by moaning sexually very sexually and i because that was the hook we used so obviously that should 0.98

00:34:55.260 be monetized well no money like from a sex toy company yeah from some adam and eve as you as you 0.96

00:35:01.240 know it's 2021 yeah what yeah my my grandparents are have seen it lived it tiktok kids view it

00:35:10.860 every day on Instagram. 0.97

00:35:13.000 Instagram is porn. 1.00

00:35:15.580 It's sex and porn. 1.00

00:35:16.080 Instagram is porn. 0.99

00:35:17.220 If I was 12 years old,

00:35:19.760 I no longer have to go to my dad's Playboy magazine 1.00

00:35:22.840 where I see a little Pamela Anderson butt cheek. 0.98

00:35:25.680 Right. 1.00

00:35:26.040 Just a little.

00:35:26.780 Yeah.

00:35:27.280 It's all on Instagram now.

00:35:28.480 It's all there.

00:35:29.020 I'm fascinated.

00:35:29.420 Kids are growing up so quick.

00:35:30.820 And that's one of the cleanest ones.

00:35:32.780 I mean, at the end of the day,

00:35:33.740 we're having this-

00:35:35.040 But no, but the biggest one

00:35:36.280 and the biggest offender is Twitter.

00:35:38.140 I can go on Twitter right now 1.00

00:35:39.540 and watch a naked woman 0.98

00:35:41.780 saw another woman's head off. 0.89

00:35:43.980 Right now on Twitter.

00:35:45.300 I accidentally ended up on a page the other day

00:35:47.540 and it was in some Middle Eastern country 1.00

00:35:49.780 and she was sawing a woman's fucking- 1.00

00:35:52.460 They don't have dance. 1.00

00:35:52.760 How do you accidentally stumble upon it?

00:35:54.060 Someone liked a post of mine

00:35:56.340 and I clicked it to see who is this- 1.00

00:35:58.400 Are you fucking around? 1.00

00:35:59.940 Like in that murdering- 1.00

00:36:01.380 No, no.

00:36:01.840 Oh, like am I getting involved in the murder?

00:36:03.420 No.

00:36:04.120 No, I'm dead serious.

00:36:06.260 So someone was-

00:36:07.240 Probably pro-choice of words.

00:36:07.720 I actually reported the page.

00:36:10.420 I thought I showed up.

00:36:11.660 Mike is the good guy in this.

00:36:12.900 He's like, I watched the murder porn.

00:36:16.960 No, when I saw the song.

00:36:18.100 And then I reported the page.

00:36:20.000 I'm now launching an investigation on my another channel.

00:36:23.040 Me and Gavin Newsom are launching it.

00:36:25.420 And Dr. Fauci.

00:36:26.620 So Twitter doesn't have those ads in the middle of it

00:36:28.380 because the problem is like, 0.97

00:36:29.780 if you watch a naked woman saw off someone's head

00:36:32.840 and then it's like Chobani flips, that's the problem. 0.92

00:36:35.640 That's the problem, exactly.

00:36:36.160 And Shabani's like, we don't want to be it.

00:36:37.840 No problem to demonetize beheadings.

00:36:40.020 Good point. 1.00

00:36:40.700 I think that's reasonable.

00:36:43.240 But even more.

00:36:43.800 That's my line.

00:36:45.780 Beheadings is my line.

00:36:48.000 But if it's just heads talking, I go deal with it.

00:36:50.460 Grow up.

00:36:51.300 What if the head keeps talking after being beheaded?

00:36:53.580 Or if I watch one of the beheading videos and go, this is kind of fun.

00:36:56.400 Then it's got to stay.

00:36:57.660 If they're funny and it's good, then it's got to stay.

00:37:00.900 But Twitter's the place.

00:37:02.420 You can go to Twitter.

00:37:03.220 you can see full on gang

00:37:05.220 like all that stuff right and they have dictators

00:37:07.100 of foreign countries saying crazy things

00:37:09.080 about all kinds of people

00:37:10.600 and you know so that's where they run into this

00:37:13.120 hypocrisy problem where it's like

00:37:14.420 they get rid of certain people but then there's certain people they leave on 0.71

00:37:17.260 who are saying crazy stuff

00:37:18.520 all these social media sites are tailored

00:37:20.560 to your interests in some way right there's an algorithm

00:37:23.160 it's gaming you figure out

00:37:24.440 what you like what your personality is so that concerns me 1.00

00:37:27.340 the naked beheading with you 0.99

00:37:29.300 it doesn't surprise me 1.00

00:37:30.280 I don't want to hear it

00:37:32.260 Can I ask you a personal question?

00:37:33.720 That's a very interesting algorithm.

00:37:35.360 Yes, of course.

00:37:36.160 What's your Instagram explore page look like?

00:37:38.500 Good looking dudes, food, and houses.

00:37:41.700 Can we pull it up?

00:37:43.380 We don't have to.

00:37:44.640 That's exactly what it is. 0.91

00:37:45.740 It's got shirtless dudes, houses, and food, restaurants.

00:37:51.340 I got concerned about myself yesterday on my Instagram explore page.

00:37:55.140 What did you have? 1.00

00:37:55.740 Women. 1.00

00:37:56.420 Beautiful women everywhere.

00:37:57.840 Well, that's not quite concerning.

00:37:59.900 That's the thing, right? 0.93

00:38:02.260 overwhelming amount and i realized it's like that's the content i mean what the fuck am i

00:38:07.580 doing what did you think was gonna be what do you think was gonna be there they're like books 0.73

00:38:10.160 it used to be pokemon but it's concerning because you know you reflect back on your behavior yes

00:38:19.560 and what have i been just observing admiring what am i what am i doing yeah but that's what

00:38:25.220 we're supposed to look at instagram you're supposed to look at what you find good looking

00:38:28.320 and aspirational stuff, right?

00:38:30.060 So I'm like, I'd love to own that house.

00:38:31.780 I'd love to own that house and food.

00:38:34.300 House and food makes sense.

00:38:35.840 I'd love to own that person.

00:38:36.680 But are you ever, like, what do you want?

00:38:38.460 I'd love to own that beef wellington. 0.92

00:38:40.720 I don't send any DMs. 1.00

00:38:43.180 I'm like, I'm kind of a pussy with it. 1.00

00:38:44.380 I don't send shit either, yeah. 1.00

00:38:45.160 So you just look. 0.96

00:38:45.820 You're just looking.

00:38:46.340 I just look.

00:38:46.840 Just wasting your time looking.

00:38:47.720 I just look.

00:38:48.560 Every now and then,

00:38:49.540 every now and then I'll do something like really,

00:38:51.000 like, I'll DM an actor.

00:38:53.260 I'll be like, hey man, that show rocked.

00:38:55.440 And they'll be like, thanks.

00:38:56.480 or they'll just be like big fan.

00:38:59.800 They'll be like, hey, your stuff's really funny.

00:39:01.060 And I'm like, great.

00:39:01.760 And that's where it always dies.

00:39:02.920 It's over. 1.00

00:39:03.540 What are they going to send me their dick? 1.00

00:39:05.160 It's over right after that. 1.00

00:39:06.300 Why don't you try opening?

00:39:08.420 No, but that's where I won't do,

00:39:11.260 but I'll just send, I'll be like,

00:39:12.540 hey man, this rocks or something.

00:39:14.780 And then that's it, it's over.

00:39:15.960 Have you tried opening with something a little more exotic?

00:39:18.360 Yeah, that's a good point.

00:39:19.360 Just, I mean, you know, like complimenting someone's work.

00:39:21.660 They hear that all day.

00:39:22.380 I always talk like an agent.

00:39:23.480 Like I messaged somebody the other day.

00:39:24.500 I'm like, you're going to do great things in this business.

00:39:25.880 like i didn't even know what i'm saying like it's the least it's the least sexual thing you

00:39:29.500 can ever say and that's what i said i messaged him i'm like yo dude you're an amazing actor you're

00:39:34.620 gonna do big things in this no you're doing it and they're like that means a lot and i'm like

00:39:37.600 all right well i'm your father now this is insane you're doing it all wrong that's the equivalent

00:39:41.640 that's the equivalent of sending good energy yeah that was that's the answer you're right

00:39:46.000 sent here's what i would do next time okay send a send an ad from a a local pamphlet for an 89

00:39:51.940 dollar air conditioner that's on sale randomly okay it will spark a conversation you have no

00:39:57.160 idea where it's gonna go but it's it's much better than sending good energy anything work

00:40:01.340 anything just either one of you have advice as well i haven't said to dm in a while that's a

00:40:07.060 good that's an interesting well here's here's the thing no because i think that's funny mike's like

00:40:12.340 offer them heroin i'm like you haven't done this in a while oh my god i think that's funny right

00:40:17.640 The air conditioning.

00:40:18.320 No, that is funny. 0.98

00:40:19.120 If a girl sent an air conditioner to me or a toaster or any object that's random. 0.87

00:40:24.240 Sometimes I think it's that.

00:40:25.920 That's because you guys are guys and you're horny.

00:40:27.340 They can send you a toaster.

00:40:28.080 Wait, why does it?

00:40:29.200 No, an air conditioner.

00:40:30.140 Yeah, it's actually supposed to be the opposite. 1.00

00:40:31.840 The girl's hot. 0.84

00:40:32.440 She can send you anything and you'll be like, oh, yeah, dude, let's hang out and get lunch. 1.00

00:40:35.980 But if a girl receives a fucking air conditioner, you're locked. 1.00

00:40:40.080 It is a pressure test for that woman or man. 1.00

00:40:44.400 Send a woman an air conditioner 1.00

00:40:46.640 That says $89 on sale today 1.00

00:40:48.540 And if they say

00:40:49.460 What is this? Leave me alone

00:40:51.580 I can just imagine five years from now

00:40:53.080 In the LA Times, there's like a big article

00:40:54.680 They're like, we call him the air conditioner rapist

00:40:57.360 We call him the air conditioner

00:41:00.260 He sends $89 air conditioners

00:41:02.520 To his victims

00:41:03.160 He would start with a photo of an air conditioner

00:41:06.060 And then someone from the set of Cobra Kai

00:41:08.260 Would disappear

00:41:08.900 Great show, by the way

00:41:10.760 Third season's ridiculous

00:41:12.480 No, but if they come back and they're like, you know, my father started that company.

00:41:18.440 Right. 0.96

00:41:18.720 And then you're like, are you fucking serious? 1.00

00:41:20.620 And they're like, no, you fucking idiot. 1.00

00:41:21.800 I'm playing with you. 1.00

00:41:22.260 What's good, though? 0.99

00:41:23.060 Now, all of a sudden, you have found a girl that can hold a convert fucking sage. 0.98

00:41:27.180 It's much better than what I'm doing. 0.99

00:41:28.860 What I'm doing is trying to be like some type of sage-wise.

00:41:32.620 It's like the worst thing ever.

00:41:34.440 To be like, you are going to be great.

00:41:37.900 I'm telling you this.

00:41:39.200 You will succeed.

00:41:40.880 It's the worst idea.

00:41:42.000 It's getting hard, Tim.

00:41:42.920 It's tough.

00:41:43.520 To meet people in the pandemic.

00:41:45.220 It's tough.

00:41:45.840 Yeah.

00:41:46.760 We used to send videos, comedy videos.

00:41:49.180 We used to.

00:41:49.940 Yeah, we used to make sketches.

00:41:50.780 Hey, guess what?

00:41:51.440 What?

00:41:51.800 They weren't comedy videos.

00:41:53.220 They were sketches.

00:41:53.800 No, because I went back and looked at some of these old ones we sent.

00:41:57.520 They're not funny.

00:41:58.960 No, no.

00:41:59.640 I had a great-

00:42:00.640 No, no, no.

00:42:02.140 I had to unsend all of them.

00:42:03.220 I want to hear one.

00:42:04.140 Okay, let me give you an example. 0.99

00:42:05.180 I went out with this girl, and I saw her on a billboard.

00:42:07.920 We were shopping, and I go, hey, mom, help me out with this.

00:42:09.720 And the video was this.

00:42:10.440 I saw her and I go hey I just saw your

00:42:12.540 billboard and my mom interrupts me she goes hey 1.00

00:42:14.460 I know you're trying to DM that girl she's out of your league 1.00

00:42:16.880 enough of that and I was like no no no and I kept

00:42:18.760 it rolling but it was just like our shoulders

00:42:20.380 no no mom like back me up she's like no 0.99

00:42:22.520 you're ugly she's not gonna like you and then 0.89

00:42:24.680 I'll put the camera on her face like alright it was worth a try 1.00

00:42:26.440 and then they would just die of laughter

00:42:27.920 that's kind of funny

00:42:29.140 you probably had to be there

00:42:31.700 it's corny now I think

00:42:33.500 well maybe now I mean

00:42:34.840 it would have been funny if your mom turned around and you were like

00:42:37.920 you're a father you have two children

00:42:39.400 you need to focus on your children 1.00

00:42:41.960 mom shut up I want to have another 1.00

00:42:44.160 kid with you 1.00

00:42:45.900 and then you look at her and go I want to have another kid with you

00:42:48.160 something like that I think is funny

00:42:50.020 no I don't think you can lead with nuanced comedy

00:42:52.280 no you can't I don't think you can

00:42:53.980 because they don't know you

00:42:55.640 that's what the video's for

00:42:57.500 listen I never type

00:43:00.020 because anything you say sounds creepy

00:43:01.700 especially in air conditioning

00:43:03.280 no it's not George listen I guarantee you

00:43:05.740 I have a higher hit rate on DMs 0.99

00:43:07.520 and you probably have never sent a fucking DM. 0.99

00:43:09.300 I used to do this for a living. 0.99

00:43:10.400 All I'm saying is this.

00:43:11.960 All you're trying to do is get your foot in the door

00:43:14.940 and spark a reaction.

00:43:16.240 It's pretty good.

00:43:17.300 So like, listen, it doesn't have to be an air conditioner.

00:43:20.140 It could be, we used to do dancing girl emoji.

00:43:22.020 He would do, I would do the surfing guy.

00:43:23.680 And then it just spark,

00:43:24.940 all you're trying to do is spark a conversation

00:43:26.860 without brick to forehead hitting them 1.00

00:43:29.060 with either you're hot, do you want to see my dick 1.00

00:43:31.360 or you're going to be a great actor someday. 0.99

00:43:33.060 How about, do you want to make a thousand dollars?

00:43:36.740 Hilarious.

00:43:37.140 As long as you're ready for what they say back

00:43:39.140 That's funny and I'll give you $1,000

00:43:41.220 So that it's

00:43:42.720 But I don't know

00:43:45.140 Because I talked to you about this a while ago

00:43:46.980 Where it's like sometimes it is hard to talk to someone

00:43:49.140 Like I'm so used to talking like large groups of people

00:43:51.260 Sometimes it is tough to talk to like a person

00:43:53.740 Like I don't know

00:43:54.760 It's like hard

00:43:55.620 It's hard to talk to like a person

00:43:57.280 As opposed to a wall 1.00

00:43:59.360 A group of people

00:44:00.380 Singular 0.68

00:44:02.060 I'd rather talk to 300 people sometimes than like one person

00:44:05.820 Hello, it's me, Logan.

00:44:07.680 We interrupt this program to bring you yet another word from our sponsors.

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00:45:32.360 Back to the program. 0.99

00:45:33.220 I had a girl way back in the day. 0.99

00:45:35.360 I was hooking up with her and she said, can we stop for one second?

00:45:38.580 I said, sure.

00:45:39.600 Yeah.

00:45:39.900 She goes, you're like really weird and turning me off more than anyone in my life.

00:45:45.360 That is. 0.99

00:45:46.240 Wait, in the middle of having sex?

00:45:47.620 We weren't there yet.

00:45:48.840 Right.

00:45:49.400 Role play.

00:45:50.920 Role play?

00:45:51.940 Sorry, foreplay.

00:45:52.940 Okay.

00:45:53.180 I was like, how much role play is going on in this house? 1.00

00:45:55.620 But you had the wherewithal and confidence at that moment to know that she's fucking dumb. 1.00

00:46:01.360 Right? 1.00

00:46:01.560 Like you didn't look back and be like, oh, you're on the same page.

00:46:05.020 What did you do that turned her off that?

00:46:06.720 Nothing out of the ordinary for me.

00:46:08.980 Right.

00:46:09.220 Just like, could you elaborate a little bit?

00:46:11.440 Nuance, like funny jokes, like, right. 0.97

00:46:13.420 Fucking, I don't know, me just being me. 1.00

00:46:15.380 And she wasn't pretty, pretty bland ass, vanilla ass girl. 1.00

00:46:18.940 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

00:46:19.500 Sometimes there's no chemistry.

00:46:21.440 Doesn't work.

00:46:22.000 Doesn't line up.

00:46:22.620 What did you say?

00:46:23.540 Do you say something back?

00:46:24.880 Like, uh, I think I said something like that seems about right.

00:46:28.500 Oh, okay.

00:46:29.120 That's a great way.

00:46:30.000 That seems about.

00:46:30.560 that's kind of great because i have no objective here i'm just like i don't know leave you're

00:46:34.980 saying that's about right is what if i just dm'd people that's about right that's about right

00:46:39.780 that's about right and then put the ball in their court then you make it a question and you

00:46:45.080 that's about right yeah yeah that's about right question mark let's go also one last thing on it 0.78

00:46:51.020 don't ever fucking message dm someone don't make it be like the first thing they see in your thing 0.88

00:46:57.280 we've talked about this a long time and all the time always respond to stories it's smart go 0.98

00:47:02.920 through their thing find something relatable something funny something that you could spark

00:47:07.220 a combo around and then respond to their story because they have already they have already i'll

00:47:11.800 wait days to find the perfect story yeah they've already put themselves out there patience they've

00:47:16.200 already put themselves out there in a in a state where they're expecting a level of feedback yeah

00:47:21.020 so they're like yo this is my new air conditioner like i got it for sale 89 at the local home

00:47:27.220 improvement store what do you think of this like on their story and then that's the alley up wow

00:47:32.240 that looks like the 3500 cubic foot i can't wait till the first air conditioner i sent i'm de-platformed

00:47:38.440 like right afterwards and i call mike i go dude what happened i just sent an air conditioner it

00:47:44.780 was like a dual meaning you know who got halsey pregnant i don't me either who is it are you 0.79

00:47:52.780 saying it's are you saying it's me it's up in the air we've fucked a lot a lot because i like her 0.91

00:48:02.400 the whiny nature of her whatever she does and uh but i'm dating billy eilish oh how's that going 0.99

00:48:10.820 she's legal yeah uh how is it it's very sad she's very moody a little emo for my taste it's a little

00:48:17.820 sad and a little vegan for my liking where'd you meet um i uh where did we meet i i was i don't

00:48:23.440 know some seance i don't know what she does um have you seen the documentary about her the

00:48:28.100 documentary about is like a horror movie where it's like it's a and she's clearly very talented

00:48:32.400 but like the doc that's coming out about her now it's like this horrific horror why i don't know

00:48:37.600 i'm like everything's okay you're doing well it's like that dixie d'amelia girl has that song

00:48:42.460 sometimes i don't want to be happy it's like no you're gonna be happy and you're gonna be 0.89

00:48:47.400 fucking happy now. 0.67

00:48:49.320 800,000 people a week are filing for unemployment 0.99

00:48:51.340 and you're singing in a mansion.

00:48:52.960 You're going to be happy or we're going to throw you in a volcano. 0.90

00:48:56.520 I'm sorry 0.98

00:48:57.480 but I don't care.

00:48:59.840 Well, money doesn't make you happy. 1.00

00:49:01.200 Shut up. You can't release 1.00

00:49:03.480 a song during a pandemic and an economic

00:49:05.580 collapse and go, sometimes I don't

00:49:07.680 want to be happy. It's like, you gotta

00:49:09.460 be happy. It's relatable.

00:49:11.440 Bieber dropped Lonely.

00:49:13.320 Relatable. Well, he was writing about his life.

00:49:15.240 And it's not relatable because

00:49:17.300 I guarantee you

00:49:19.180 that you can, you know, sometimes

00:49:21.580 I don't want to be happy. First of all, it's the lyrics because she's

00:49:23.640 going, sometimes I don't want to be happy.

00:49:25.960 So sometimes I

00:49:27.560 don't want to be happy. It's like, it's basically

00:49:29.560 like she has it. Like she's going,

00:49:31.500 sometimes I just want to be a cunt. 1.00

00:49:33.700 You know, it's like just, that's the 0.99

00:49:35.520 song really. Sometimes I want to be

00:49:37.560 a bitch and ruin a dinner. It's 0.99

00:49:39.540 like, you have to just, I like

00:49:41.580 them. I, I, I'm very,

00:49:43.540 I'm pro everyone, but

00:49:45.120 i just because in my head in my head somewhere i'm like you'll in my head i just want you'll

00:49:51.700 never be able to collab with her now like why would that's how sick i am i gotta get out of

00:49:56.340 here i gotta go to texas because in my head i want you'll never be able to i think people get 0.59

00:50:00.000 it yeah people get your comedian yeah i'm a kid they like they're all actually the tiktok kids

00:50:04.080 are actually the coolest kids in the world at last because they're living these amazing lives

00:50:07.740 so like if you make fun of them they think it's great like they're actually so much cooler than

00:50:11.300 like a lot of comedians i know who are super sensitive it's weird it might be it might be

00:50:16.460 a generational thing i think it might be yeah think about it these kids grew up getting bullied

00:50:21.040 online all of them right all of the tiktok stars right because until you're famous attempting to

00:50:27.080 be a tiktok star is not cool cool that's right i realized that because they were like yeah i used

00:50:32.760 to get beat up and bullied for doing this and now they're like the cool kids at the

00:50:37.060 happened to me and jake that's probably right yeah but also so yeah yeah i bet you the i bet

00:50:42.660 you they also it's a slogan it's logan slogan i bet you at the end of the day the tiktok stars

00:50:49.940 also have already come to terms with the nature of their like being on this planet they're like

00:50:54.420 yo i'm famous for hitting woes and bus it challenge and it's like like dave chapelle 0.99

00:50:59.800 right he deserves some fucking respect you know what i'm saying like don't talk shit to dave 0.98

00:51:04.500 chapelle he's a fucking legend right some of them are like the person on tiktok that's like 0.99

00:51:08.800 you know i don't even know what they're doing over there you probably know better than i do 0.97

00:51:13.060 like well i think it's a lot of dancing is what i've observed yeah they've come to terms with

00:51:17.420 the fact with the fact that they're not so opposite on your guy i'm like yo if you got

00:51:21.000 the bag doing that you're a winner that's what i feel yeah like they're all we're not calling

00:51:25.200 losers no no i thought you guys like that too yeah i don't i don't i don't let uh i personally

00:51:30.380 don't think finance dictates any kind of like like arts arts you know craftsmanship they're 0.97

00:51:35.360 crafty though because like people make do you see that dumbest people make money i mean 1.00

00:51:39.240 fucking redneck morons make hundreds of millions of dollars that doesn't make me respect them any 1.00

00:51:44.280 fucking more well it gives them a little something you go hey they live like it's a little something 1.00

00:51:48.260 do you have anyone online tiktok uh instagram youtube that you that you follow and like 0.99

00:51:54.820 appreciate maybe as a as an up-and-coming young creator that you think is actually that kid alex

00:51:59.440 warren that he had on i think is a funny i watched his episode yes i think i don't i don't watch a

00:52:05.320 ton of youtube stuff but i watched his episode impulsive because i know you're a huge fan of

00:52:08.440 him so i thought he was kind of like like a funny kid but it's it's it's a very different medium to

00:52:13.160 the medium that i'm in but i i will appreciate it like i do watch some stuff and i'm casey fry

00:52:18.420 i so i know i don't know too much about him but i know that i have friends that really like him

00:52:23.620 amazing yeah it's like cody co's buddy mine is a good dude like i'll watch his stuff like i it's

00:52:29.120 very different um and interesting vlogs and all of that like i don't really some of my watch and

00:52:36.640 i'm like yeah this is really entertaining and some of them i watch it go i don't get this but

00:52:40.840 it's okay it's not for me the three people you just named are all insanely talented yeah like

00:52:45.880 like actually talented like cody is fucking hilarious very funny and very talented guy

00:52:51.200 and uh i think there's a lot of people like like h3h3 makes me laugh ethan makes me laugh a lot

00:52:56.820 like those people all like i think there's i appreciate everybody who's figured something

00:53:02.760 out i think that's so with the tiktok kids they figured something out so to me the most interesting

00:53:07.120 thing in the world is figuring something out even if the thing you figured out isn't for me

00:53:11.600 because so much stuff's not for me but if you figured something out that's a hell of a lot

00:53:16.480 more interesting to me than somebody not figuring something out and complaining where do you think

00:53:20.300 where do you think it leads though because and i've always been very anti tiktok and i know it

00:53:25.260 leaves orange county marrying an ex-baseball player and then going into one of those churches

00:53:29.860 where they're like jesus and you're like rocking out and there's a guy and you live in newport 1.00

00:53:35.700 beach and you have huge tits and then there's botox it becomes the real housewives of orange 0.98

00:53:40.260 county that's exactly where it leads i mean that's why i think it leads but what i'm saying 0.99

00:53:44.200 as the bar continues to get

00:53:46.480 lowered for what is like

00:53:48.040 acceptable content

00:53:50.700 or like even like championed

00:53:52.500 content and you look at

00:53:54.160 people like Scorsese

00:53:56.620 and they're just like that dude didn't do 0.93

00:53:58.500 the fucking bust it challenge 0.99

00:53:59.980 why do I give a shit what 0.99

00:54:02.360 Scorsese directed 20 years ago 0.97

00:54:04.320 he hasn't done one challenge on

00:54:06.540 TikTok you know what I'm saying like where

00:54:08.460 does it like what's next after

00:54:10.380 TikTok it's crazy but here's 0.96

00:54:12.500 the thing maybe art maybe really cool shit maybe it goes swings back oh you think so no no i don't 0.92

00:54:18.340 i think it gets worse and worse and worse but i also think there's gonna be people are just gonna 0.64

00:54:24.880 find people they really resonate with and then they're good that's why like i'm like more pumped

00:54:29.860 about like setting up my own thing in texas like building a big studio and doing what maybe building

00:54:33.880 a stage in my backyard and doing shows there if i want like i think everyone's gonna be super

00:54:38.340 independent and i think everyone will collaborate with each other and do stuff but i think that

00:54:42.140 like scenes are maybe dying out a little bit,

00:54:45.700 which is sad because I think all of us

00:54:47.160 to some degree, we're in a scene

00:54:48.300 and that's how you collaborate with people.

00:54:49.960 But I think now,

00:54:50.740 especially in the comedy world,

00:54:51.700 guys like Andrew Schultz,

00:54:52.640 maybe we talk all the time

00:54:53.520 and like you've got to have your own little world

00:54:55.440 and operate from within it.

00:54:56.820 So we can make whatever we think is good

00:55:00.040 and we don't need networks

00:55:01.340 and we don't need anybody.

00:55:02.460 But yeah, are you going to get good fellas?

00:55:04.380 Probably not.

00:55:05.180 You ever seen WALL-E, the movie WALL-E? 0.89

00:55:07.300 You know those fat people

00:55:08.440 that just sit in the cars, 0.69

00:55:09.280 they have no bone structure anymore?

00:55:10.420 Those are my parents.

00:55:11.700 That's what's coming

00:55:12.520 Those are my parents

00:55:13.640 That's what's coming

00:55:15.500 No it's bad

00:55:16.120 Yeah it's all bad

00:55:16.700 I mean listen it's not good

00:55:17.640 It's a blatant money grab

00:55:19.200 Nothing coming is good

00:55:21.260 That being said

00:55:22.460 It might

00:55:22.840 It'll be funny maybe

00:55:24.000 You know

00:55:24.840 When the scenes come back around

00:55:26.120 Yeah

00:55:26.540 And hopefully

00:55:27.000 Coronavirus is cured

00:55:28.700 Right

00:55:28.960 Yes

00:55:29.560 For good

00:55:30.300 What do you think is going to happen

00:55:31.940 Do you think people are going to

00:55:33.060 Go crazy

00:55:34.080 Drugs

00:55:34.600 Alcohol

00:55:34.960 Sex

00:55:35.360 I think for a little while 0.97

00:55:36.040 I think for a little while

00:55:36.840 It's the Roaring Twenties

00:55:37.700 The party

00:55:38.180 Yeah yeah for sure

00:55:38.760 And then I think people

00:55:40.060 Here's the problem with that

00:55:41.460 nobody has any money the problem is the economy right so like that's the real issue he didn't

00:55:46.340 know that well it's no one has sitting on a bag a lot of people it's tough right if you look at

00:55:52.280 the unemployment numbers to rise in poverty it's tough so like i think young people in their 20s

00:55:57.000 and stuff they're gonna go out but are you like if people in their late 20s 30s with kids and

00:56:02.420 stuff they're not they're just looking to work so they can live so yeah there's gonna be like

00:56:06.700 a party for a little bit but i think there's also got to be like let's figure out how do we

00:56:11.400 function as a country where a lot

00:56:13.460 of people aren't working or a lot of

00:56:15.380 people are not making the money they're used to making. Do you think there's going to be

00:56:17.340 a post-pandemic baby boom? 0.94

00:56:19.620 There could be. Like a round 0.99

00:56:21.340 two of boomers? 1.00

00:56:23.200 I thought that's happening during the pandemic. 0.67

00:56:24.980 I thought so too, but I'm just asking questions.

00:56:27.660 So many people, but I think so many people

00:56:29.440 now are so,

00:56:30.840 I think people want to, after this pandemic,

00:56:33.440 people want to do a lot.

00:56:35.340 I don't think they're going to jump into having kids.

00:56:37.240 I think they're going to go and do stuff

00:56:39.360 they want to do. I think they're going to travel. The main thing

00:56:41.340 i want to do is travel travel right so like when this pandemic's up i want to schedule shows all

00:56:45.320 over the world and i want to go so i think that a lot of people are feeling like that they're like

00:56:49.880 hey man yeah the last thing i want to do is like have a kid right now and sit in a house for 18

00:56:55.440 months more travel less babies more travel i think that's more more sex tourism less babies

00:57:00.960 we're all medical tourism uh what's again to get like a operation sure i'm gonna have oh i'm gonna

00:57:06.860 have hair put on my head yeah in turkey yeah i mean i think when this thing ends everything that

00:57:14.700 we felt during this which has been the craziest time of my life i think uh we're gonna we're

00:57:20.040 gonna keep a lot of that we're gonna keep a lot of that we're gonna keep the world will never go

00:57:24.020 back to the way it was crazy never go back to the way it was this has changed all of us forever

00:57:28.520 someone asked me how long i think uh people will be wearing masks for forever i said five years

00:57:34.160 five years yeah i mean society's changed forever they scoffed at me yeah no you're right i couldn't

00:57:39.420 believe it you're right society's changed forever people there's people that will never go back to

00:57:43.060 an office again and will work from home forever there's people that will never live in a city

00:57:46.820 again that will live in the suburbs now forever there are people that will uh never go to crowded

00:57:52.820 places again and just feel uncomfortable like there are people that just it's your own level

00:57:57.520 because i don't think coronavirus is going to go away so i i think it's just going to be with us

00:58:01.700 and you're going to, there'll be better treatments and better testing.

00:58:05.520 But I think it's one of those things where this has permanently changed a lot of,

00:58:10.280 like 9-11 did, where it's like, we had a shield of invincibility before 9-11

00:58:14.460 where we were like, we can't be touched.

00:58:16.060 And then after 9-11, you remember, you never quite felt exactly how you felt pre-9-11.

00:58:21.380 You always go to an airplane, you always take your shoes off.

00:58:23.620 Always on an airplane now, for a lot of us, there's just this weird little thought

00:58:27.500 that never existed pre-9-11 where like, something could go wrong.

00:58:30.400 And that never

00:58:31.680 So I think with this too

00:58:33.080 Every now and then

00:58:33.680 Like you'll be sitting somewhere

00:58:34.560 Two years from now

00:58:35.140 And someone will go

00:58:35.620 And you'll go

00:58:37.320 It's like a horror movie 0.99

00:58:39.500 What the fuck was that 0.99

00:58:39.740 You'll be like 1.00

00:58:40.400 You'll just run to Target

00:58:41.300 And get toilet paper

00:58:41.900 You'll be like

00:58:42.300 Are we going again

00:58:43.120 Round three

00:58:44.360 I start another podcast

00:58:46.400 Like it's

00:58:47.320 You don't know

00:58:47.880 It's wild

00:58:48.420 It's really wild

00:58:49.280 I see

00:58:49.540 I'll be watching movies

00:58:51.180 And there'll be gatherings

00:58:52.240 You know outside of a club

00:58:53.200 Wherever the scene

00:58:53.860 And it

00:58:54.240 I have a visceral reaction

00:58:56.780 Yeah

00:58:57.160 Wow

00:58:57.780 Remember those days

00:58:59.900 people used to pack together like sardines in a can inside the club and in lines they used to

00:59:05.400 wait wait in lines yeah in groups i'm a new york guy so i remember we used to cram on a subway

00:59:10.900 to the point where i would feel like a hand touching me and it would be like some woman

00:59:14.400 holding a baby and the baby's like just playing with my face i would turn around and i would be

00:59:19.340 like hey man like that was new york and i lived there for years and it's sad because like i don't

00:59:24.740 know i don't know the next time i'm gonna feel comfortable doing that now touching a baby's 0.90

00:59:27.880 face yeah i don't want to get beaten up by a puerto rican toddler anymore no but i i i don't 1.00

00:59:33.040 know when that's all gonna be back to normal well new york's the exact opposite of miami they went 1.00

00:59:37.420 the whole other direction right i mean you go there now and there's you know those little um

00:59:41.680 things fly across no they go across the street yeah somebody goes well it's the leadership

00:59:48.880 yes the leadership's like bill de blasi and joe cuomo these are they're very bad at their jobs and

00:59:53.440 you didn't it didn't matter when they didn't have to do them or they had to do them but then when

00:59:57.160 they had to do their jobs and they couldn't do them effectively it was a real they doomed new

01:00:02.040 york and new york will be fine it'll come back it's a great city but at the end of the day it's

01:00:06.300 in trouble and la is in trouble la is in trouble and unfortunately i don't know what you know it's

01:00:12.240 a time horizon it's like when's this thing gonna come back i don't know are you talking about

01:00:16.540 corona no i'm talking about like cities like los angeles yeah when is la gonna come back it's fine

01:00:22.500 I think because Biden just printed

01:00:24.400 what, $3 trillion?

01:00:26.300 $3 trillion extra dollars?

01:00:27.760 Well, you're going to pay for that. Someone's paying for it.

01:00:30.160 That's the problem.

01:00:31.340 That's the issue. 1.00

01:00:33.280 I'm a YouTube fucking box. 1.00

01:00:36.440 Ask Bryce Hall for the fucking box. 1.00

01:00:38.640 Get it from the Sway House. 1.00

01:00:39.980 Or Michael Gruen.

01:00:41.180 I think we have a gift for you.

01:00:43.420 We have a fan here.

01:00:46.480 Oh, wow.

01:00:47.740 No, an actual fan, like a rotating

01:00:49.340 same place I bought the air conditioner.

01:00:51.520 Jake, do you have a gift?

01:00:54.980 Oh, thank you.

01:00:55.660 We do have a gift.

01:00:56.800 Is it a gun? Is this where I get killed? 0.91

01:01:00.080 Yes.

01:01:02.240 That's okay if it happens.

01:01:03.480 Like the Joker? Fight for the monetization.

01:01:06.780 Just as a preface,

01:01:08.280 this dude has watched everyone

01:01:09.720 from Mike Tyson to every

01:01:11.740 single person that's been on the show

01:01:13.920 walking to the show. He messaged me

01:01:15.920 today and he said,

01:01:16.520 I'm hearing rumblings. Tim Dillon's coming

01:01:19.800 on the show. I'm like, yeah, our homie.

01:01:21.520 Timmy D, he's been on before.

01:01:22.660 We're friends with the guy.

01:01:23.460 He's like, I have to get him something.

01:01:26.180 I have to get him a gift. 1.00

01:01:26.860 I'm like, gee, what the fuck? 1.00

01:01:28.080 Come on. 1.00

01:01:28.980 That's so sweet.

01:01:29.880 Thank you so much.

01:01:31.320 He lives in the studio.

01:01:32.680 It's also a really strange gift.

01:01:34.420 Before you leave LA, I thought you could use it.

01:01:36.460 Dude, I appreciate this so much.

01:01:37.940 It's just an envelope.

01:01:38.560 Thank you so much.

01:01:39.460 Oh, it's a gift certificate to Craig's. 0.97

01:01:41.220 I fucking love Craig's. 0.93

01:01:43.000 Thank you so much. 0.94

01:01:43.940 Thank you so much.

01:01:45.060 I love this.

01:01:46.520 Thank you.

01:01:46.960 Dude, I really appreciate this.

01:01:48.280 And they just opened restaurants.

01:01:49.940 I appreciate this

01:01:51.600 The amount of this is half of one appetizer

01:01:55.320 So I think that's very

01:01:56.800 How much?

01:01:58.060 $50

01:01:58.500 At Craig's

01:02:00.820 I appreciate it

01:02:03.180 Listen this is very nice

01:02:05.660 I appreciate it

01:02:06.360 I love Craig's

01:02:08.360 He shorted GameStop

01:02:09.380 He lost everything he had

01:02:11.040 I'm like yeah it's not a lot

01:02:14.740 Somebody goes he's homeless

01:02:16.020 I'm like oh thank you

01:02:17.440 Thank you so much

01:02:19.120 He lives in a tent outside this house

01:02:21.620 He's doing something nice for you

01:02:22.900 I'm like well god thank you

01:02:24.460 When did you get that?

01:02:28.620 Well thank you brother

01:02:29.640 Do you listen to the podcast?

01:02:30.880 That means more to me

01:02:31.780 Thank you so much I really appreciate it

01:02:34.040 I don't even know what this is

01:02:35.940 No thank you

01:02:37.220 You ruined the envelope

01:02:39.040 This is made out of boxes

01:02:42.800 That people in LA could live in

01:02:44.220 That's how bad things are

01:02:46.640 But thank you very much

01:02:48.320 Do you have an untitled Tim Dillon project?

01:02:51.060 Are you working on it?

01:02:51.720 Is that true?

01:02:52.420 No, this is all wrong

01:02:53.300 What's happening here?

01:02:54.340 It's all wrong

01:02:54.700 I did have an untitled Tim Dillon project

01:02:56.060 But it didn't work

01:02:56.700 Like it was a pilot

01:02:57.800 With Comedy Central

01:02:58.440 It didn't go anywhere

01:02:59.140 What's wrong with those people?

01:03:00.780 The people that were supposed to make you go somewhere

01:03:02.300 I don't care

01:03:03.600 It's like to me

01:03:04.240 I'm like

01:03:04.600 It's funnier online

01:03:06.260 It's all fun

01:03:06.920 Know who's watching TV

01:03:08.020 What are we doing?

01:03:09.620 What are we

01:03:09.940 That's not

01:03:10.680 TV

01:03:11.500 And movie theaters

01:03:13.140 Yeah

01:03:14.320 Specifically AMC

01:03:15.460 Oh, here we go

01:03:16.020 Yeah, I agree

01:03:17.160 Okay

01:03:17.560 hey when I'm wrong I'm wrong

01:03:19.620 it's not just

01:03:21.040 like you said it's not just TV and movie theaters

01:03:23.680 it's primarily AMC

01:03:25.780 those three letters

01:03:27.400 as more as a ticker than a movie theater

01:03:29.960 I love AMC because it's the best theater

01:03:31.240 and it's the best experience

01:03:32.640 it seems like a company that has great technicals

01:03:35.680 I also miss Blackberry

01:03:38.120 I also miss my Blackberry

01:03:39.500 and my Nokia

01:03:40.880 Kevin told me

01:03:43.580 he said that's Soul

01:03:45.840 The movie Soul

01:03:46.700 Disney Pixar movie Soul

01:03:48.300 The Spanish movie

01:03:49.160 Soul

01:03:50.180 S-O-L 1.00

01:03:51.160 I'm curious

01:03:53.140 S-O-U-L

01:03:54.060 Oh okay Soul

01:03:55.340 He said it was streamed 1.7 billion times

01:03:59.200 Crazy

01:03:59.760 1.7 billion minutes 1.00

01:04:01.600 Kevin I'll fucking kill you 1.00

01:04:03.400 No 1.00

01:04:03.660 What

01:04:04.920 Kevin

01:04:05.340 What is it 0.99

01:04:06.380 Kevin I will throw you off a cliff 0.95

01:04:08.860 Well that's great

01:04:09.820 I haven't seen it

01:04:10.460 I have a podcast

01:04:11.160 And I need to do business

01:04:12.360 Yeah

01:04:12.780 And the people trust me

01:04:14.080 To say statistically

01:04:16.040 And factually true statements 1.00

01:04:18.000 You're going in the volcano with the D'Amelios 1.00

01:04:19.940 Because of that one 1.00

01:04:21.000 I got a weight class wrong in the last podcast

01:04:22.840 It's been eating me alive

01:04:24.980 I said a welterweight was a 200 pound

01:04:26.940 I know that's not, it's cruiserweight

01:04:29.260 Why did I say that?

01:04:30.940 What is soul movie?

01:04:32.580 You haven't seen soul?

01:04:33.240 I've never seen it twice

01:04:34.160 Do you like animated films?

01:04:36.120 Yeah I'll do it

01:04:36.780 You just watch it

01:04:37.800 What's it about?

01:04:40.740 It's about life

01:04:42.640 Yeah

01:04:44.120 It's about life

01:04:45.420 It makes you really appreciate it

01:04:46.720 Finding one's purpose

01:04:48.180 Okay

01:04:49.900 It'll make you feel good

01:04:50.760 1.7 million what?

01:04:53.200 Kevin

01:04:53.640 Bro I read stream

01:04:55.240 Kevin

01:04:56.340 Well that

01:04:57.160 My thesis

01:04:59.040 The thing I was going to say

01:04:59.860 Following it

01:05:00.520 Now makes no sense

01:05:01.560 It was minutes

01:05:07.420 It was minutes

01:05:08.760 I guess the point is

01:05:09.780 Hold on

01:05:09.960 Well that's still a lot of 0.99

01:05:10.980 Fucking watches 0.99

01:05:11.680 That's what I'm saying 1.00

01:05:12.260 why are we arguing

01:05:13.160 that's a lot

01:05:13.760 that's a lot

01:05:14.240 it's a big difference

01:05:15.080 between streams and minutes

01:05:16.640 that's a huge difference

01:05:17.500 I guess

01:05:17.680 I guess

01:05:18.080 I guess the difference

01:05:19.200 or what I was

01:05:20.320 trying to say was

01:05:21.420 it was fascinating

01:05:22.420 how

01:05:22.860 on opening weekend

01:05:24.780 yeah

01:05:25.160 like at the box office

01:05:26.360 the biggest movies

01:05:28.040 you'd watch for them

01:05:29.400 to cross that 1B

01:05:30.560 mark

01:05:31.180 right

01:05:31.520 Avengers

01:05:31.980 is opening weekend

01:05:33.280 is gonna cross a billion

01:05:34.200 and

01:05:35.060 a digital release

01:05:36.860 now

01:05:37.440 in the form of Soul

01:05:38.860 is

01:05:39.240 the numbers are

01:05:40.440 massive

01:05:41.980 comparable yeah right i mean it's the new world man that's a new world so i think that's just

01:05:46.660 what's gonna be the future do you have a a place you'd like to house some sort of show like if you

01:05:53.520 had a surely netflix is a good platform are you working on a i'm working on stuff but i mean i

01:05:58.440 think that like at the moment uh because of the what way the world you know where the world is

01:06:03.560 right now like podcast and then eventually doing live stand-up's great and then once we can really

01:06:08.320 start working and putting people back in a room and having people collaborate everybody's not

01:06:13.160 worried about this crazy thing then i'm like let's make all kinds of cool crazy shit but at the

01:06:18.020 moment it's harder and harder to do uh so i think once this starts to open up and normalize then

01:06:23.520 yeah i want to make all kinds of stuff but at the moment it's a lot of work and i think that i could

01:06:28.720 just channel that creative energy into the podcast and the videos i do and live shows and stuff like

01:06:34.480 that but like i'd love to do it make a make a film i'd love to raise capital i'd love to do all

01:06:38.300 that and i think i could when things get to a point where you can do that stuff easier i want

01:06:43.420 to make a film so bad you can make you've made one right uh i made a i made a couple i've written

01:06:48.320 two scripts it's just it's it takes a lot of time it's a lot of time and there's something about

01:06:54.240 the closed nature of this particular moment in time that we're living in that that sort of

01:07:00.620 hinders my creativity uh on on traditional hollywood projects now writers rooms are taking

01:07:06.120 place on zoom it's not a writer's room it's a writer's it's hard even as a comedian i tell my

01:07:11.320 producer sometimes we have to drive to vegas to go to dinner because we you know we were closed

01:07:15.440 down for months i'm like i just got to go observe stuff because i it's hard for me to be funny when

01:07:20.020 i can't go out and see what's going on if i'm not living a life it's very hard to like convert

01:07:24.900 experiences into comedy because there's no experiences exactly and i did all of the jokes

01:07:29.440 about corona and all that stuff six months ago seven months ago so it's like it's hard to like

01:07:34.380 you have to live you have to live you have to go move around do something you gotta live a lot of

01:07:40.240 artists will uh i knew an artist that would put herself in uh devastating scenarios yeah

01:07:50.960 relationships right that she knew were destined to tank just for inspiration she she would 0.98

01:07:57.340 intentionally go into a relationship

01:07:59.100 hoping to have

01:08:00.760 her heart broken

01:08:02.300 just to have something to write about

01:08:05.800 because a lot of times

01:08:06.780 when you're emotional

01:08:10.560 you're the most creative you've ever been

01:08:13.580 it's so weird

01:08:14.980 that's why so many artists

01:08:15.880 the best artists are so

01:08:17.600 they're sad

01:08:18.600 even comedy comes from dark places

01:08:21.080 a lot of mine does

01:08:23.440 so it's hard

01:08:25.500 Well I've done really good during this period

01:08:28.300 Because there's a lot of like

01:08:29.620 There is a lot of opportunities to make people laugh

01:08:32.400 About really dark stuff

01:08:33.640 Because you have to laugh about stuff

01:08:35.200 And the news is just really bleak

01:08:37.320 So it's been pretty good

01:08:39.460 And the news shows no signs

01:08:42.200 Of the bleakness doesn't seem to be abated

01:08:44.220 Have you taken any precautions

01:08:45.660 Should 0.99

01:08:47.800 Everything go to shit 1.00

01:08:49.100 Talking like apocalypse type 1.00

01:08:50.920 You got a gun

01:08:52.660 I'll have guns in Texas

01:08:55.480 How many?

01:08:57.000 Two.

01:08:57.920 Okay.

01:08:58.320 Where are you putting them in a safe?

01:09:00.280 I'm going to put one in the refrigerator.

01:09:01.960 Cool.

01:09:02.240 So I know where it is.

01:09:03.840 And then I will have one, I don't know, probably I'll leave it on the stand right by the door. 0.99

01:09:11.040 So if somebody comes in, I'll just have a note that says, just kill me. 0.99

01:09:14.580 Just don't wake me up. 1.00

01:09:15.820 Just kill me. 1.00

01:09:17.060 And hopefully they'll just figure it out. 1.00

01:09:19.660 No bunker?

01:09:20.580 No, there's no bunker.

01:09:21.660 but uh i tend to believe that if the apocalypse happens it happens it's going to be one of those 0.98

01:09:26.900 things where it's like if it all goes to shit it's all going to go to shit even if you survive 0.60

01:09:31.100 five days more than somebody else it's like i don't know i don't know if i'm concerned about 0.97

01:09:34.360 that i don't know if i want to live to be like well that was the hollywood sign like i don't

01:09:39.760 i don't need to be that guy well that could be your movie right that's like if you live

01:09:43.820 throughout it right the world yeah it's called this is the end but with seth rogan yeah also

01:09:49.080 So if that happens, there's-

01:09:50.160 It's such an L.A. conversation to be like,

01:09:52.880 if everything ends and everyone's dead,

01:09:55.960 where are you and what is your content?

01:09:58.760 What are you-

01:09:59.460 How do you turn that to your advantage?

01:10:02.000 Mass starvation, nuclear attacks.

01:10:04.100 Hold on.

01:10:04.480 This is only a half L.A. conversation.

01:10:07.180 Yo, middle America is prepared for the-

01:10:09.960 I asked you this question.

01:10:11.120 They're prepared.

01:10:11.820 They would rattle off.

01:10:13.560 Where you grew up, people are prepared.

01:10:14.640 My dad has two knives on him at all times.

01:10:17.860 Guess where?

01:10:18.420 You'll never guess.

01:10:19.080 I don't know

01:10:19.720 Neck

01:10:20.220 Ball sack

01:10:21.040 Ball sack

01:10:22.340 That's not

01:10:23.960 Neck 0.94

01:10:24.420 The fucked up thing 1.00

01:10:25.100 He goes 1.00

01:10:25.340 He shows me his knife

01:10:26.720 He always works out like this

01:10:27.800 You've seen it

01:10:28.620 Always

01:10:29.060 Yeah

01:10:29.780 It's like a little whiff

01:10:30.360 It's smart

01:10:30.880 It is smart

01:10:31.480 And he has one around his neck

01:10:32.420 Well everybody

01:10:34.180 During like the riots

01:10:35.540 And the pandemic

01:10:36.300 Everybody started to get

01:10:37.460 Real apocal

01:10:38.100 Like everybody started

01:10:38.900 That's what I'm saying

01:10:39.480 Did you take any precautions

01:10:41.000 I moved to the desert

01:10:43.080 For six months

01:10:43.980 I went to Palm Springs

01:10:44.840 I got out of LA

01:10:45.820 I went out

01:10:46.620 I left

01:10:47.000 Because I was in West Hollywood

01:10:47.800 And every day

01:10:48.220 It was like a problem

01:10:48.960 so I went out

01:10:50.500 I rented a house

01:10:51.120 in the desert

01:10:51.540 and I lived there

01:10:52.360 and then I just came back

01:10:53.720 to the valley

01:10:54.180 but I got out

01:10:55.660 so I did take a precaution

01:10:56.880 I left

01:10:57.360 have you ever seen the show

01:10:58.300 Doomsday Preppers

01:10:59.320 yeah

01:11:00.240 ironically 1.00

01:11:00.940 they're gonna die 0.99

01:11:01.860 the people that do that show 0.99

01:11:03.280 will be the first 0.98

01:11:04.660 will be the first to die

01:11:06.280 why 0.96

01:11:06.560 they will electrocute themselves

01:11:09.080 day one 0.99

01:11:10.380 of the

01:11:10.840 they do these trials

01:11:12.100 the trials always fail

01:11:13.300 Melissa

01:11:13.660 you were supposed to get

01:11:14.560 to the craft

01:11:15.180 the river faster

01:11:16.280 yeah

01:11:16.600 I always look at these people

01:11:18.340 and I say to myself, 1.00

01:11:20.280 damn, these are the motherfuckers 1.00

01:11:22.040 that are going to be left if the world hurts. 1.00

01:11:23.540 Yeah, it's horrible.

01:11:24.220 Like he talks about GP.

01:11:25.560 And by the way, what a horrible way to spend your life.

01:11:27.880 Like, yo, GP is going to be the person

01:11:29.660 that repopulates the earth.

01:11:31.420 It's just like Fauci's right now,

01:11:33.360 but for 30 years, 0.96

01:11:34.960 Fauci had to be the loser talking about germs.

01:11:37.840 So all his whole life, 0.96

01:11:39.100 Fauci was the guy at the party.

01:11:40.140 He was like, you know, the virus replicates. 0.98

01:11:42.480 He'd go, well, you shut up.

01:11:44.120 And now he's right, but who cares?

01:11:46.080 Because you had to be that guy your whole life.

01:11:47.780 you had to be he looks like a virus like you had to be a virus for your entire life to be right at

01:11:52.960 the end i'd rather just go out i think if everyone's going out i'd rather go out than be the

01:11:57.260 guy at the end who's like well look at see see see i always got that water aquifer everyone said i

01:12:04.360 was nuts bought extra air conditioners i could stay cool folks well eccentric folks for sure 0.95

01:12:10.400 but i always think about i'm way too logistical yeah with this shit um like if especially with 0.99

01:12:17.760 like some of these underground bunkers the the cause of the global meltdown is always my favorite 0.98

01:12:25.300 part right it's all it's always different right is emp financial market crash locus nuclear war

01:12:32.380 right like if because i this is where my mind goes if you have like an underground bunker

01:12:37.340 yeah right and you're preparing for nuclear war and the nuke goes off do you get you melt no inside

01:12:45.320 your bunker do you melt no you're safe do you microwave yourself hold on the the risk from a

01:12:50.400 nuclear blast is is only for dying from the initial blast is only relative to the location

01:12:56.200 you are to the initial blast it's only good for call it a couple i don't know a couple hundred

01:12:59.440 miles maybe the problem is the radiation that falls afterwards so if you're underground you

01:13:03.080 have some sort of purifier bunker that's going to protect you from the rate the radioactive

01:13:07.200 issue earthquake and you're in your underground bunker well that's a different story mike sounds

01:13:12.580 like a scientist to trump iron it's like this is like one of trump's experts but the thing is if

01:13:18.880 there's a nuclear blast and you're in an underground bunker you actually have to be prepared for very

01:13:23.540 long-term living because the next thing that happens is what's called a no not only that but

01:13:27.660 it's called a nuclear winter and so what happens is the nuclear particles actually block out the 0.82

01:13:32.280 sun completely you won't their photosynthesis stops happening and yeah a lot of weird shit

01:13:37.680 happens after nuclear blasts yeah a ton a ton of stuff it almost seems like we should just if it

01:13:43.240 happens it happens bro but we but as a society we were going into a depressive state and and

01:13:48.420 rioting and looting based on the fact that we had to sit inside and watch netflix for six months

01:13:52.760 because we weren't allowed to go on contact imagine if there's an actual issue a real 0.95

01:13:58.300 fucking issue i think if there's a nuclear winter i think the i think it's going to be a problem 0.89

01:14:03.320 yeah i mean we couldn't handle chilies being closed i don't think a nuclear winter is gonna 0.99

01:14:09.580 work great restaurant i love it look how close they're sitting yeah maybe they're better friends

01:14:15.100 than we thought originally i thought yeah well this is this is the whole this is i just don't

01:14:19.460 remember george starting there we're a team to be honest i was thinking about this i didn't want

01:14:24.020 to say and also that's why i haven't been talking as much because i'm like i've been in my head be

01:14:29.440 like why am i so close i haven't looked at him once i just sense his presence here the mic was

01:14:36.000 right he's become a part of me no even look where your cup is that's where you were sitting yeah

01:14:40.960 this is like this the mic was here hey yeah you like chilies and islands so i i assume you want

01:14:46.120 no we're garbage we've we've established that i actually do have a question for you now that i'm 0.89

01:14:51.660 allowed to talk um do you feel that society is getting like a little ridiculous with this 0.91

01:14:58.700 cancel culture do you get scared writing material now is it like limited i don't know i think yes 0.99

01:15:03.740 yes and no i don't know is there a lot of jokes you write where you're like fucked out kill but 0.81

01:15:07.900 you're just gonna find the people that like you now this is all you're not gonna please everybody 0.55

01:15:11.700 so this whole idea like the idea that you're gonna please everybody is no longer a thing so

01:15:16.200 the people that like you're gonna like you the people that don't like you are not gonna like you

01:15:19.360 uh they're gonna whine incessantly about it no one cares it's kind of like you waste so much energy

01:15:24.580 so many people that complain about cancel culture this that the other thing they're wasting a lot

01:15:28.400 of energy when they could just be find the people that enjoy it find the people that dig what you're

01:15:33.340 doing and do it there's always going to be people that go i don't like it or i'm offended or i don't

01:15:37.080 get it it's it's what it is and you can't help those people you can explain it to them like once

01:15:43.140 you could go here's what i'm trying to do and they can go okay i still don't like it it's like

01:15:46.440 cool yeah we'll part as friends but they but the good thing for the person on our side of the table

01:15:52.800 is a lot of those people also keep watching yeah they keep why and i hate to be that guy that's

01:15:57.220 like yo just embrace it but at the end of the day like some of those ones are the are the most

01:16:01.140 you know fervent fervent watchers of the content if you put yourself out in the public in any way

01:16:07.680 you can't control and there's somebody really smart told me this early on they were like

01:16:11.000 you can't control what other people think of you just can't right so you can put yourself out there

01:16:16.080 know who you are do what you want to do what people think about you is their business and it's

01:16:20.780 like all of us you know we make good livings we have a lot of freedom it's like the trade-off is 1.00

01:16:25.760 Yeah, people are going to say shit. 0.99

01:16:27.280 What about those folks 0.99

01:16:29.640 who everyone likes?

01:16:33.180 Like 100% or damn near likability.

01:16:35.960 I think of Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

01:16:37.740 Does anyone not like The Rock?

01:16:39.420 Yeah, there's definitely people that don't like Dwayne The Rock.

01:16:41.360 And why?

01:16:41.960 I don't know why.

01:16:42.640 The main reason is because he got political recently.

01:16:45.900 He got super political recently

01:16:47.520 and said, Joe Biden's my man

01:16:49.240 and Kamala Harris is my girl. 1.00

01:16:50.600 And literally lost 50% of his fucking audience. 0.99

01:16:54.880 Like David Dobrik, everyone seems to like him. 0.99

01:16:56.640 He's like a friendly guy.

01:16:58.060 But then there are people that are like that,

01:17:00.320 but I don't have an interest in,

01:17:01.520 I want to be a person who can always,

01:17:05.440 you know, like my main concern

01:17:07.660 is being like as funny as I can be.

01:17:10.420 And that's not, you can't think about being liked.

01:17:13.240 So if I'm being really, really funny,

01:17:16.060 that's my main, my allegiance is to that

01:17:19.580 more so than like being liked.

01:17:20.800 And there's a lot of people that make

01:17:21.880 much better livings than I do being liked.

01:17:23.700 God bless them.

01:17:24.320 but I my most important thing is like the freedom to kind of be funny and amuse myself and make my

01:17:29.960 friends laugh and make people laugh you have taste good taste that's also like socially acceptable 0.85

01:17:35.960 right yes like the leader of a white supremacy group is it wants to be funny and make fucked 0.97

01:17:41.120 up jokes to his fellow white supremacists but that's not in good context in real life yeah 0.99

01:17:46.600 but I can't control that here's the thing you know these people that everyone wants to get rid of and

01:17:52.160 platform and stuff like that i grew up they were all ignored they were ignored i mean this is not

01:17:58.220 they didn't have any political power in this country and they still don't i mean you can

01:18:01.740 march around you can wear a hat you can put horns on your head you can do whatever you want

01:18:05.440 you have no institutional power in this country to really do anything um you know stop bringing

01:18:11.140 them on cnn stop interviewing them like you know what i mean it's like at the end of the day

01:18:14.880 these people that are you know outside of the mainstream and like just advocating these crazy

01:18:20.820 you know pathologies and stuff i mean i just think the best way to deal with that is to ignore it or

01:18:26.980 counter it on its facts and on the merits and go here's exactly why you're wrong here's why you're 0.95

01:18:31.040 an idiot that's the way we did but no yeah but no one's listening to that like if you're if you're 0.99

01:18:34.820 bought in like we had we we had hoped in the beginning of the show that we can bring alex 0.99

01:18:39.440 jones on the show which we did as an entertainer but for that's what he is to us sure but to his

01:18:46.220 followers and to the people that buy into his cult right he is a god of sorts right in the same

01:18:53.460 way a lot of other people that we've seen that have done things similar to alex jones are so

01:18:57.900 unfortunately you can't rely anymore on people's ability to uh separate or or or stop believing

01:19:06.600 something because you give them a fact facts are all negotiable i agree but the problem is there's

01:19:12.480 no real better way at the moment right because if you take it out of the hands of people you're

01:19:17.820 getting you're putting it in the hands of someone so you either want you either want jack from

01:19:21.740 twitter to decide or you want a group of guys from silicon valley to decide like at the end of the 0.99

01:19:26.440 day the q anon thing with trump it's a dumb conspiracy theory everyone knows it's dumb 0.86

01:19:31.180 except the people that believe in it but they have become fodder we make fun of them yeah absolutely 0.96

01:19:35.960 people that believe in that stuff get made fun of nazis should be made fun of like people that

01:19:41.260 believe an absurd thing should be made fun of and there's a lot of power in not taking them

01:19:45.680 seriously and i think when everyone takes them seriously goes they're a threat you're actually

01:19:50.560 legitimizing them and their power base grows instead of just laughing at them the most powerful

01:19:56.620 tool to me to deal with a lot of these people is to go they're a joke like demeaning demeaning

01:20:00.960 treat them like a joke they doesn't always work it doesn't but right it doesn't always work what's 0.99

01:20:05.980 the goal to make them feel stupid or 0.99

01:20:07.960 get them out of this 1.00

01:20:09.640 fucked up mindset? 1.00

01:20:12.160 You're met with denial and 0.98

01:20:13.940 then they want to prove you wrong and they lean in further.

01:20:16.080 If people are laughing and stuff 0.88

01:20:18.240 and they're starting to realize how ridiculous 0.88

01:20:19.800 they sound, you have to get 0.99

01:20:21.940 people to realize how ridiculous. 0.98

01:20:23.760 Do you really think Chrissy Teigen's eating children? 0.98

01:20:26.660 They honestly.

01:20:28.320 We have friends.

01:20:29.940 We have literally friends, as I'm sure you do

01:20:32.020 that, truly believe

01:20:33.740 that these people are harvesting

01:20:35.860 Children's organs 1.00

01:20:37.660 Tom fucking Hanks 1.00

01:20:40.020 Forrest Gump 0.99

01:20:41.940 Run Forrest Run

01:20:43.480 Is running to a preschool 1.00

01:20:45.480 To steal children 0.87

01:20:46.940 To harvest their adrenochrome ridden 1.00

01:20:49.660 Spleens 1.00

01:20:50.420 If you say it like that enough 1.00

01:20:53.920 People understand how crazy it is

01:20:56.580 Like I think if you say it like that

01:20:58.980 Enough

01:20:59.920 Like the way you just said it

01:21:01.460 Is it a phase mom

01:21:02.360 I hope it is

01:21:04.960 I hope so, huh?

01:21:05.560 I hope so.

01:21:05.920 Well, they took a huge hit last week

01:21:08.020 when they didn't come arrest Biden at the inauguration.

01:21:12.300 That was a tough one.

01:21:13.040 Or two weeks ago.

01:21:13.600 The whole QAnon army was supposed to come and arrest Biden.

01:21:19.280 They were supposed to be, I think, a public hanging.

01:21:21.320 And Trump was supposed to be re-exalted

01:21:23.560 as the king of the universe,

01:21:25.460 not just the United States, the universe.

01:21:28.520 And so when that intergalactic situation

01:21:30.840 didn't come to fruition-

01:21:32.180 Well, they'll get into-

01:21:32.520 Here's the next thing.

01:21:33.140 They'll all get into healing or crystals or whatever. 0.99

01:21:35.480 Like these people are just going to get into the next bullshit thing. 0.98

01:21:39.160 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:21:40.260 Whatever it happens to be.

01:21:41.780 So you think the people that support QAnon today are sending you good vibes tomorrow?

01:21:46.360 Yes.

01:21:46.780 Got you.

01:21:47.580 Yeah.

01:21:48.160 No, they're going to become those people.

01:21:49.860 And I already see it.

01:21:50.720 Like I see some of their Twitters.

01:21:52.740 They're just going to go into some other thing because they need a direction.

01:21:58.980 They need a direction.

01:22:00.240 They're going to start talking about aliens. 0.97

01:22:01.780 QAnon people start talking about aliens. 0.86

01:22:03.060 real soon because earth isn't working for them or what they thought was going to happen on planet

01:22:07.580 earth is not working so they're going to be like actually it's the universe it's the intergalactic

01:22:11.000 and you just got to let them talk and go okay cool man it's just it's just the conviction that

01:22:16.060 that which they talk with like yo yeah you ask me are there aliens out there yeah i would say

01:22:20.240 maybe yeah maybe there are but if you come to me and you're like yo like man an alien was in my

01:22:26.260 bedroom last week like he was sitting there i had a conversation with him he told me that they were

01:22:29.820 going to arrest Biden at the inauguration. What if I told you

01:22:31.840 that? Right. Because it

01:22:33.820 happened. Well, then I would probably believe it.

01:22:35.520 Now, what do your friends say? What do your friends say after none of this

01:22:37.760 happens? Do you call them and go, guys,

01:22:39.840 what's the deal? Going on here?

01:22:42.160 One of my boys, very good

01:22:43.880 friends, has a boy

01:22:45.500 who has gone 0.51

01:22:47.340 crazy. Yeah,

01:22:49.840 yeah, yeah. Off the deep end. I know.

01:22:52.160 Yeah. Hold on.

01:22:53.480 I don't even know what it is.

01:22:56.100 Overtaken? Overtaken.

01:22:57.680 he forgot lost yeah his disease has gone to the brain like it's sad but it's like i also just

01:23:04.880 think you got to let people have that experience because it's the same experience for people that

01:23:08.800 maybe dropped a lot of acid in the 60s q anon's a lot less fun you know in the 60s at least people

01:23:13.720 just dropped a bunch of acid and fucked in a field q anon they sat on a computer for four years you

01:23:18.260 know but they they're still gonna have to sober up and it's just like that was their protest movement 0.94

01:23:23.880 that was their like it's like my parents were like yeah man we ate peyote and just went on you know

01:23:29.620 did orgies and like somebody else's parents would be like we thought nancy pelosi was cooking babies

01:23:34.380 in a bar that was our that was our rebellious face that was our badass rebellious face it's a 0.99

01:23:40.180 face it's a face the fucked up thing about it is they in my eyes they ruined conspiracy that like 0.87

01:23:44.880 conspiracy theories used to be a ton of fun you could kick it with your friends you could eat 0.94

01:23:48.920 some popcorn on a friday night and and and look at the fact that you know maybe we're all just 0.95

01:23:53.080 tetrahedrons, as fucking Jim Carrey would say. 0.99

01:23:55.500 Yes. 0.99

01:23:55.780 Or some sort of, like,

01:23:57.080 now it's aligned with our real life.

01:23:59.620 QAnon became like the game clue

01:24:01.120 where they're like, well, you're going to solve it.

01:24:02.880 We're going to fix it.

01:24:03.840 We're going to, and I'm like, dude,

01:24:05.180 dude, what are you doing?

01:24:05.960 What is it?

01:24:06.440 Like, people were like,

01:24:07.380 it was like a live action role play game.

01:24:09.260 Right, right, right.

01:24:09.740 And that's what they were doing. 0.99

01:24:10.840 But without the blowjobs. 1.00

01:24:11.780 It was Pokemon Go with Hillary Clinton as Satan. 1.00

01:24:16.340 Like, that's what it was.

01:24:17.300 Pokemon Go, it was, that was a big game.

01:24:19.000 Gotta catch them all.

01:24:19.920 Like, I was weirded out in New York City

01:24:21.680 people running around like adults were like running around after fake pokemon that was crazy

01:24:27.320 and that was q anon you're just running after hillary clinton somewhere with let's get her

01:24:32.680 that's just what but you gotta let people have fun you gotta let them have fun listen there's

01:24:36.560 not a lot there's not enough to do in this country to have fun anymore and it was fun they had a good 1.00

01:24:40.180 time here's the thing with the q anon people it's hard they were having a lot of fun they were having

01:24:43.920 a lot have you ever did you see them with the meetups and the hats and the pictures of joe

01:24:47.580 biden with the horns they had fun yeah and it's like you know what everybody needs that's their

01:24:51.700 bowling league that's their fucking little league that's their like hey man our kids play on the 0.93

01:24:56.740 same soccer team it's like it's like yeah man bill clinton's an interdimensional shape-shifting 0.98

01:25:01.240 demon and he's got like it's there yeah the problem lately though has been in what i call

01:25:07.280 the bleed they they've started to bleed into other actual events like you're like wow the people that

01:25:14.340 stormed our Capitol building with Confederate

01:25:16.360 flags also had Q patches 0.64

01:25:18.260 as they were murdering the cops.

01:25:20.000 There's a lot of hot Instagram influencers 0.99

01:25:22.040 that are Q peep. It's kind of hilarious. But that's the other 1.00

01:25:24.220 thing too. You're sitting in a

01:25:26.120 business meeting and we have a conversation

01:25:27.780 with people that you're about to do millions of dollars worth of business

01:25:30.320 with and you're having a conversation with Tim Dillon. You're like

01:25:32.240 yo, these people are fucking crazy. And the guy that 1.00

01:25:34.220 you look to that's the head of the organization you're about to

01:25:36.160 team up with says, but are they

01:25:38.220 actually that crazy after all? And you're like

01:25:40.060 a fucking A. Yeah, but you know what? Sometimes it's bleeding 1.00

01:25:42.220 into life. Sometimes you just gotta look at someone next to you and go

01:25:44.240 he makes really good hoodies you know it's like sometimes you just got to let him stay in their

01:25:48.980 lane i have friends where i will only speak to them about the thing that i i have friends for

01:25:53.480 one topic yeah i have friends for like one time i have like a friend for one topic and then as

01:25:58.820 they go to another topic i'll hang up i'll go hey man i'm going through a canyon great excuse i'm

01:26:02.380 in a canyon you just go i'm out i'm in palm springs i'm in the desert i have friends where i literally

01:26:06.680 only talk to them about one thing and that's what you got to do and you just got to let them then

01:26:10.780 And they can have their cue friend and talk about nonsense.

01:26:13.400 You like compartmentalize them.

01:26:14.760 I need to.

01:26:15.400 Do you have a cheeseburger guy currently?

01:26:17.180 I have a guy where I'll just talk about meat.

01:26:19.320 I have a meat friend.

01:26:20.260 We'll talk about steaks.

01:26:21.460 And he'll ask me about steakhouses.

01:26:22.940 I'll talk to him about steakhouses.

01:26:24.460 We'll go back and forth about steakhouses.

01:26:26.240 If he ever said, my wife had cancer, I'd go, I got to go.

01:26:30.500 I can't go there with him.

01:26:32.340 It's not what it's about.

01:26:33.420 What if he said, see, but you can't get out ahead.

01:26:36.600 Don't tell me you were molested. 0.97

01:26:37.780 We're talking about ribeyes. 0.99

01:26:38.840 No, you can't get ahead because before you hung up the phone, he was about to say, and

01:26:42.400 she's leaving me all her wagyu.

01:26:44.260 Yeah.

01:26:44.480 And you can have some of it.

01:26:45.720 Okay, that's true. 1.00

01:26:46.180 See, you're fucked up, too. 1.00

01:26:47.120 That's true. 1.00

01:26:47.760 That's a good point.

01:26:49.120 But can I be your cheeseburger guy?

01:26:50.480 That's why I'm asking.

01:26:50.900 We can discuss cheeseburgers.

01:26:52.320 Why?

01:26:52.680 Because you're going to say it was invented in Connecticut, even though it was invented

01:26:54.820 in New York City on the dock?

01:26:56.600 Were they?

01:26:57.020 David would say they were invented in Hamburg, Germany, where he's from, the hamburger.

01:27:01.020 David's out of his mind.

01:27:02.260 He believes in Q&A.

01:27:03.100 Nothing was invented anywhere but America.

01:27:06.300 What's your best cheeseburger out there right now?

01:27:08.840 Good question. 1.00

01:27:10.800 Chain-wise, I don't want to hear some fucking rinky-dink spot 0.99

01:27:13.160 at Walt Whitman Mall. 0.99

01:27:14.980 No, a chain cheeseburger that's really good.

01:27:17.160 There's a spot in New York City called the Five Napkin Burger.

01:27:19.440 Oh, yeah, I heard of it.

01:27:20.020 That's really good.

01:27:20.700 They have Gruyere cheese and sauteed onions

01:27:22.600 and this rosemary aioli.

01:27:24.500 That's a really good one from a chain.

01:27:28.560 You know, I mean, I love, like, I mean, Shake Shack is killer.

01:27:33.480 In-N-Out's good.

01:27:34.820 Ever had Whataburger?

01:27:36.280 Whataburger's really good.

01:27:37.520 Is it?

01:27:38.280 It's really good.

01:27:39.460 It's not great.

01:27:40.580 Would you say it's on the same level as In-N-Out and Shake Shack?

01:27:43.360 Yeah.

01:27:43.860 Yeah.

01:27:44.100 I mean, it's really good.

01:27:45.840 Wendy's from the 90s was amazing. 1.00

01:27:47.980 When Wendy's in the 90s, when there was like old women working there, Wendy's- 1.00

01:27:52.180 Where's the beef? 1.00

01:27:52.980 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:53.220 Those were just chubby old women that had never had kids. 1.00

01:27:57.140 Right. 1.00

01:27:57.320 Like they had never, you know, they had never cradled a baby.

01:28:00.500 So that Baconator, that was everything.

01:28:02.200 Their child.

01:28:02.940 Yeah.

01:28:03.200 That was everything to them.

01:28:03.960 But Wendy's was a very fun and sad place.

01:28:06.320 and it was like you know it was really good so those burgers are great but the best burger i

01:28:10.660 think is the one you make at home there's never been a better cheeseburger than eat one off a

01:28:14.160 grill like when you're when you just jump out of a pool and you're eating it and that's the best

01:28:19.700 cheeseburger that's a good point yeah that's the best thing cheeseburger is about mindset

01:28:23.600 yeah it's about mindset wendy's is great wendy's was amazing and with the old with the old women 1.00

01:28:29.620 and then the contrast being you know the underage icon and logo for the business some poor girl who 1.00

01:28:34.820 clearly didn't want to promote cheeseburgers. 1.00

01:28:36.460 She just wanted to hang out with her friends, go to school,

01:28:38.660 you know, do the normal stuff.

01:28:40.260 And Dave Thomas had, you know,

01:28:42.340 I don't think it was actually his daughter.

01:28:43.900 No, it's fake.

01:28:44.760 And you know who that young girl is now?

01:28:46.060 Do you know who that young girl is now, though?

01:28:47.620 No, it is. 1.00

01:28:48.720 It's his actual fucking daughter. 1.00

01:28:50.080 Do you know who that young girl is now, literally? 1.00

01:28:52.320 Lizzo.

01:28:55.100 And that's a little known fact.

01:28:57.920 That's absolutely true.

01:28:58.740 Lizzo!

01:28:59.300 Who is she?

01:29:01.240 Dave Thomas' daughter.

01:29:02.540 It's a chain restaurant called Wendy.

01:29:04.420 You've been there

01:29:05.580 I've been there

01:29:07.040 A lot of Wendy's in Ohio

01:29:08.860 That's the joint

01:29:10.200 Are you a fan of Grater's ice cream in Ohio?

01:29:12.500 I don't know what you're talking about

01:29:13.420 Wow

01:29:13.720 Ohio is

01:29:17.580 Black raspberry chip at Grater's

01:29:19.560 It has subsections

01:29:20.740 Like Cincinnati is still Ohio

01:29:23.960 But the food's gross there

01:29:25.740 It's chili

01:29:27.060 You're pissing somebody off real bad 1.00

01:29:30.940 Skyline Chili is for women with neck tattoos

01:29:32.720 It's for women that are big fans of UFC

01:29:34.520 That's what it is

01:29:35.880 It's carnival food but there's no carnival

01:29:39.000 Like the game is let's get health insurance

01:29:40.620 Cincinnati is a hell of unspeakable

01:29:44.120 I mean 0.53

01:29:44.520 There's like wild wolves that walk the streets

01:29:46.940 It's such a weird place

01:29:47.980 And the food is like disgusting

01:29:50.680 It's really brilliant

01:29:51.700 Do you like chili? You're like yeah

01:29:53.380 Do you like it on top of buttered noodles?

01:29:55.760 And you're like not right that seems weird

01:29:57.480 Why would you do this to me? Like a hot dog maybe

01:29:59.960 But why are you making my pasta?

01:30:01.500 Food in Cincinnati is like fried cigarettes.

01:30:03.740 It's like the worst thing you could ever have.

01:30:06.380 We've done the Cincinnati.

01:30:08.680 You sent me a picture?

01:30:09.880 Yeah.

01:30:10.340 I don't think you did, dude.

01:30:11.160 It's a group.

01:30:12.220 Oh.

01:30:12.700 What about Portland?

01:30:15.820 I'm not a huge fan, but I don't hate it.

01:30:18.180 It's fine.

01:30:18.860 They're a little wacky over there.

01:30:19.580 Andrew Scholes hates Portland.

01:30:21.020 I don't love it.

01:30:21.780 I don't love it.

01:30:22.680 I don't love it.

01:30:23.720 I like salt and dry ice cream and stuff that comes out of Portland.

01:30:26.360 I got something that I can no longer ignore.

01:30:30.460 Yeah.

01:30:30.740 Wow 1.00

01:30:31.920 China rolls out anal swab 0.83

01:30:36.320 Coronavirus test saying it's more

01:30:38.360 Accurate than the throat method 1.00

01:30:39.960 Throats and assholes 1.00

01:30:41.960 Any orifices 1.00

01:30:43.200 They're just trolling

01:30:45.300 They're just having fun now

01:30:47.360 They're literally telling us

01:30:49.120 Imagine the face

01:30:50.420 That's the same face 1.00

01:30:54.380 If they did it anally 1.00

01:30:55.200 She would have the same exact face 1.00

01:30:56.740 That is an anal swab 1.00

01:30:59.280 You think that's going to make its way here? 0.99

01:31:03.140 I mean, at what point is China literally just telling us 1.00

01:31:05.180 to go shove it up her ass? 1.00

01:31:06.360 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:31:07.480 Like right now?

01:31:08.600 Here's the thing that people don't know,

01:31:09.980 and this will probably tell you more about it.

01:31:13.100 Anal is the way to greatness for a lot of things, 0.95

01:31:16.080 and not only swabs now, but sex, 1.00

01:31:18.320 but also getting fucked up. 1.00

01:31:20.000 Butt chugging. 1.00

01:31:21.060 If you look at the efficacy of taking drugs, 1.00

01:31:23.740 if you stick a pill in your asshole, 1.00

01:31:25.720 it's like 10 times more effective 1.00

01:31:27.620 than taking it orally.

01:31:28.800 In a Weibo poll,

01:31:29.720 80% of respondents said

01:31:30.880 they could not accept

01:31:31.820 the invasive method.

01:31:34.480 At what point are our doctors

01:31:35.540 going to just quit?

01:31:36.580 Yeah, well, then they won't get better.

01:31:38.680 Then you won't get better.

01:31:40.280 Do you know what I mean?

01:31:40.760 Like, one of the doctors

01:31:41.740 are like, all right, bro.

01:31:43.340 I'm not doing this.

01:31:44.180 It's inconvenience

01:31:44.940 made sense for use

01:31:46.960 only in select groups.

01:31:48.960 Select groups. 0.97

01:31:49.640 Porn stars. 0.99

01:31:50.380 I love, yeah, 0.98

01:31:50.780 it's just like the hot people. 1.00

01:31:51.900 So many girls are obsessed 1.00

01:31:53.560 with trying to get 1.00

01:31:54.060 near their boyfriend's 0.74

01:31:55.260 buttholes nowadays

01:31:55.960 and I feel like this is

01:31:56.640 the cheat code.

01:31:57.620 This is how they say

01:31:58.760 If you want to go see Grandma Jane 1.00

01:32:01.840 You got to have your butthole swabbed 1.00

01:32:04.540 And they stick a cucumber in it 1.00

01:32:05.720 I'm with you

01:32:07.520 That's all we got bro

01:32:08.500 How come?

01:32:10.100 I got a call five minutes ago

01:32:11.780 I'll answer any questions you want

01:32:14.320 Tim Dillon thanks for going on Paulson

01:32:17.000 Thanks so much

01:32:17.920 If you guys are watching

01:32:20.620 We're sending you good energy, good vibes

01:32:22.800 Don't waste your time

01:32:24.760 Hit that subscribe button

01:32:26.320 We'll see you next time

01:32:27.000 Bye

01:32:27.960 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

01:32:30.620 We have a new podcast.

01:32:31.940 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

01:32:33.380 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

01:32:34.480 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

01:32:38.660 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

01:32:40.820 which means we have wildly different references,

01:32:43.060 occasionally different opinions.

01:32:44.380 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:32:47.160 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

01:32:50.160 Good Taste is my business.

01:32:52.360 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

01:32:55.260 or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:32:57.620 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess podcast.

01:33:04.840 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:33:09.240 Each week, I bring on an amazing guest.

01:33:11.120 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:33:12.300 What?

01:33:12.760 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:33:14.300 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:33:16.300 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:33:18.080 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:33:21.580 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:33:26.680 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're

01:33:33.920 the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast, the Improvised Character

01:33:38.320 Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:33:43.220 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:33:46.300 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:33:48.520 Does the Pope dress up?

01:33:49.840 He winks on Halloween.

01:33:52.120 He gets right up next to the microphone.

01:33:53.380 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:33:56.980 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:34:02.280 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

01:34:06.780 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:34:09.840 I'm Hamza.

01:34:10.580 And I'm Martin.

01:34:11.240 And we're the hosts of Out of Character, the best podcast in the world, is what they said.

01:34:15.440 Wait, they said that?

01:34:16.460 Yeah, yeah, they said that.

01:34:17.640 The best podcast with two best friends who jabber and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff.

01:34:23.320 Give our input on it.

01:34:24.420 That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener.

01:34:26.940 Listen out of character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:34:32.180 Sometimes I just feel like a burden.

01:34:33.780 You're a bird.

01:34:34.540 You fly. 1.00

01:34:35.240 You're a Martin.

01:34:35.900 And we are out of character.

01:34:37.080 Character podcast.

01:34:38.180 Dude, you messed up the clip.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - February 09, 2021

E255 Tim Dillon Roasts Joe Rogan, Dr. Fauci & Dixie D'Amelio

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