Impaulsive with Logan Paul - October 07, 2021


E295 Adam Ray Roasts Logan Paul’s Love Life

Mentioned
E294 My Friends Confront My Addiction E296 Dan Bilzerian’s Famous Celebrity Hookup

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 26 minutes

Words per minute

224.02

Word count

19,301

Sentence count

486

Harmful content

Misogyny

97

sentences flagged

Toxicity

497

sentences flagged

Hate speech

276

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.160 Breaking story from Alpine News Network.
00:00:03.440 Homeowners Tony and Janet needed to consolidate their debt.
00:00:06.720 They called Alpine Credits.
00:00:08.740 In a flash, an Alpine Credits superhero appeared in their kitchen.
00:00:13.120 Using telekinesis, she consolidated their debt into one low monthly payment.
00:00:17.920 She then used her powers to make the dirty dishes disappear forever. 0.91
00:00:23.020 Own your home, need a loan, Alpine Credits can help. 0.99
00:00:26.460 Alpine Credits, where homeowners get approved.
00:00:30.900 Lisa, tell them about our new show.
00:00:33.460 We have a new podcast.
00:00:34.880 It's called Don't Lie to Me.
00:00:36.260 I'm Lexi Iwanu.
00:00:37.420 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.
00:00:41.400 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,
00:00:43.740 which means we have wildly different references,
00:00:46.000 occasionally different opinions.
00:00:47.240 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.
00:00:50.080 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,
00:00:52.880 Good Taste is my business.
00:00:55.300 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
00:00:58.200 or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:00.000 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator,
00:01:05.480 and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.
00:01:07.780 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud,
00:01:10.980 and those who practice it.
00:01:12.160 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.
00:01:14.060 Ooh, I scammed them.
00:01:15.240 What?
00:01:15.700 I could talk to you for an hour.
00:01:17.240 You're a generational yapper, like me.
00:01:19.240 That's why I had to make yapping a job.
00:01:21.000 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.
00:01:24.520 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,
00:01:27.480 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:30.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're
00:01:36.860 the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast, the Improvised Character
00:01:41.280 Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.
00:01:46.160 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.
00:01:49.240 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.
00:01:51.460 Does the Pope dress up?
00:01:52.780 He winks on Halloween.
00:01:55.080 He gets right up next to the microphone.
00:01:56.340 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.
00:01:59.740 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.
00:02:05.240 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:02:12.700 And you were smoking him, dude.
00:02:14.940 You told him to shut up. 0.77
00:02:15.780 You said, yeah, this is my show.
00:02:16.900 Thank you.
00:02:17.460 Yeah, I think I said it funnier than that.
00:02:18.840 But yeah, I definitely said something.
00:02:20.320 Yeah.
00:02:29.740 y'all watching squid game i'm not i i heard about it um it's one of those things you gotta watch
00:02:35.400 supposedly the best performing show in the history of netflix is that wow is that the deal
00:02:41.820 it was i know it's in another language yeah yeah it's it's uh my buddy told me that's the greatest
00:02:46.760 show he's ever seen in his life really he said it's the greatest show he said do not watch it
00:02:51.220 in english it'll be cheesy you have to watch it in their language with subtitles and he goes it
00:02:55.280 Is the greatest show to ever exist
00:02:57.100 It's out of South Korea yeah 0.82
00:02:58.740 I don't know I assume it's not out of North Korea
00:03:01.380 They don't even know that there's television
00:03:03.500 Guys welcome back to Impulsive
00:03:04.800 The number one podcast in the world 1.00
00:03:06.340 If you guys are watching this from North Korea
00:03:08.240 How? Hit that subscribe button
00:03:10.820 That's not how they say it
00:03:11.580 No no no how are you watching this program
00:03:13.940 Surely YouTube is not allowed
00:03:15.620 There has to be one person out there 0.98
00:03:17.520 So South Korea
00:03:19.600 The situation in North Korea we gotta get into at some point 1.00
00:03:21.880 Cause that shit is fucking weird 1.00
00:03:22.820 You wanna get into North Korea 1.00
00:03:23.720 Not right now 0.94
00:03:24.460 Well I might be cool
00:03:25.880 But
00:03:26.140 Just quickly
00:03:27.000 30 seconds 0.87
00:03:27.640 South Korea though
00:03:28.740 Is producing
00:03:29.480 High quality 0.99
00:03:31.120 Fucking content now 0.99
00:03:32.700 Right like 0.99
00:03:33.140 What was the movie
00:03:33.780 That came out
00:03:34.600 And swept the
00:03:35.180 What was that
00:03:35.520 Like two years ago
00:03:36.180 Oh oh oh
00:03:37.020 Parasite 0.94
00:03:38.160 Parasite
00:03:39.060 Parasite
00:03:39.640 Great movie
00:03:40.620 You watch it on the
00:03:41.340 On the
00:03:41.740 In a car
00:03:43.000 Dude dude
00:03:43.620 It's not just
00:03:44.300 It's not just film
00:03:45.540 They got
00:03:46.040 They got art
00:03:46.760 And media
00:03:47.560 They got 0.98
00:03:48.400 Do K-pop 1.00
00:03:49.140 BTS 1.00
00:03:49.780 Great arts 1.00
00:03:52.440 Coming out of Korea
00:03:53.240 Yeah 1.00
00:03:53.680 Why
00:03:54.140 How
00:03:54.800 I'd like to go visit
00:03:56.360 Yeah
00:03:56.660 I think so
00:03:57.320 I got a lot of soul there
00:03:58.420 Nice way to go 1.00
00:03:59.440 Yeah you suck 1.00
00:04:00.080 Guys we have a guest 1.00
00:04:01.260 We have a guest today
00:04:02.140 He's a guest
00:04:03.400 I've been wanting to get him on
00:04:04.180 The podcast for a while
00:04:05.040 I'm not sure where he is
00:04:06.460 He's not in my eyeline
00:04:07.900 There he is
00:04:08.580 Come on in guys
00:04:09.420 Ladies and gentlemen
00:04:10.160 It's Adam Ray
00:04:11.200 It's Adam Ray
00:04:12.060 He's a writer
00:04:12.660 Known for the heat
00:04:13.480 Red 2 and Spy
00:04:14.700 2015
00:04:15.180 I'm reading your IMDB bro
00:04:16.820 Dude perfect
00:04:17.400 Can I read your
00:04:18.920 Can I read yours right after this
00:04:19.980 Can I read your Instagram
00:04:20.740 Ready
00:04:21.160 Please
00:04:21.720 And tell me which one of these are true
00:04:22.920 Oh god 0.98
00:04:23.540 I should have fucking made it funnier 0.99
00:04:25.600 Already pressure 0.98
00:04:26.440 What's up fellas
00:04:27.180 I know Caleb
00:04:27.740 Who's this guy
00:04:28.320 Nice
00:04:29.240 What's up man
00:04:29.840 You call everybody brother
00:04:31.480 Yeah
00:04:32.900 I just started doing that recently
00:04:34.600 That's why I'm asking
00:04:35.320 And one of my black friends
00:04:37.160 Recently was like
00:04:38.140 He's like
00:04:38.440 Oh brother huh
00:04:39.100 And I was like
00:04:39.680 No it's just my thing now
00:04:41.020 Like I'm saying it
00:04:41.780 Like it has nothing to do with
00:04:43.780 Can I tell you something
00:04:45.180 Yeah
00:04:45.620 I
00:04:46.000 Hold on a second
00:04:46.600 So when you started
00:04:47.940 No
00:04:48.520 Sorry I'm sorry
00:04:49.240 Go ahead
00:04:49.520 Go ahead
00:04:50.160 Go ahead
00:04:52.240 We'll just play a laugh
00:04:53.180 You have a laugh track?
00:04:54.740 I just found this.
00:04:55.340 You play a laugh track?
00:04:56.560 We're in Howie Mandel's studio.
00:04:58.480 He's got all kinds of weird shapes.
00:04:59.760 Tell an unfunny joke.
00:05:00.580 Oh, so many gadgets, yeah.
00:05:02.080 Adam. 1.00
00:05:04.460 I can't believe this fucking shit. 1.00
00:05:08.120 Holy shit. 1.00
00:05:08.740 Bro, no joke. 0.99
00:05:09.340 I was doing a show in St. Louis probably eight years ago.
00:05:12.380 I was like maybe my second year headlining.
00:05:14.320 And there's some guy I thought was playing like a cricket sound effect.
00:05:17.920 He brought his crickets.
00:05:19.340 After a bit.
00:05:20.080 There was, yeah, crickets in the crowd.
00:05:22.860 And I was like, dude, these are the heckles you hear about
00:05:24.580 But these were real life crickets
00:05:25.740 He's brought crickets?
00:05:26.820 Yeah
00:05:27.000 You're lying
00:05:27.700 No 1.00
00:05:28.500 What a scumbag 1.00
00:05:29.360 No, hold on, I love that 1.00
00:05:30.400 It's genius
00:05:30.980 Totally
00:05:31.400 It's genius
00:05:32.120 But it was like a guy who like had, you know, like hit a hole
00:05:35.360 I talked to him after the show
00:05:36.160 We ended up smoking this like, um
00:05:37.820 Not a gravity bong
00:05:38.980 Yeah, meth, that's what it was
00:05:40.020 Thank you so much 1.00
00:05:40.800 George always comes in hot with the fucking 1.00
00:05:42.920 Drunk talk 1.00
00:05:44.620 My mom's gonna watch this
00:05:45.580 And that's how I find out you were doing meth 1.00
00:05:47.480 From that bearded fuck 1.00
00:05:48.520 Your mom sounds like Robin 1.00
00:05:49.680 Mike's mom
00:05:50.180 Yeah, my mom
00:05:50.640 Jewish mom? 0.91
00:05:51.300 No, but we give her that voice
00:05:53.000 Because she found out he was doing meth
00:05:55.240 Have you done meth, Mike?
00:05:57.180 It was one of the drugs I didn't use, but many others
00:05:59.380 And by the way, I didn't bring the drugs up again
00:06:01.760 This keeps happening
00:06:02.520 We'll circle back to this
00:06:04.140 I like the sound effect though, what's Logan's joke he's going to do?
00:06:07.180 No joke, I was just going to say I too, Adam
00:06:09.460 This is just me being truthful
00:06:10.820 I say, hey brother
00:06:12.060 Every time I say it
00:06:14.960 I'm like, yo
00:06:15.900 Is the African American community
00:06:18.480 Am I allowed to?
00:06:19.560 Yeah, but it's my verbiage.
00:06:21.840 It's my speech, my diction.
00:06:23.320 Yeah, it's a part of who you are.
00:06:24.960 Have you always been saying it?
00:06:26.200 A while, dude.
00:06:27.120 We're all brothers and sisters.
00:06:29.840 That's a t-shirt.
00:06:31.000 Somebody write that down.
00:06:32.000 What was your name again, Jeff?
00:06:33.220 That's brother.
00:06:33.980 Kevin, yeah, I'm sorry.
00:06:35.160 You know, it worked well.
00:06:36.060 It worked well for...
00:06:37.160 You're memorable.
00:06:38.160 No, you're very memorable.
00:06:39.420 You are, dude.
00:06:40.100 No, you're killing it.
00:06:41.680 Wait, but the brother thing, 0.99
00:06:46.180 the first all-black room I did
00:06:48.260 was hosting for sinbad right this is probably again like 10 years ago guy by the way rips like
00:06:53.060 two plus hours of crowd work material uh you know he's got stuff about kids from his kids and then
00:06:59.420 he's got marriage stuff and then him and his wife split and got back together so he's got you know
00:07:03.100 material from every stage of life but uh but uh you know it's my first time with an all-black
00:07:08.000 audience and and uh and dion cole remember telling me he's like don't black it up and i was like what
00:07:12.780 do you mean he's like you're gonna find yourself as a white dude in an all-black room feeling this 0.98
00:07:16.420 like inclination to kind of be like what's up motherfuckers you know and i did it i get up there 0.99
00:07:21.800 i'm like don't do it don't do it and then i just see them all they all go nuts and i keep it going 0.99
00:07:25.360 for adam and i get up there i go i go make some motherfucking noise in the house and everyone's 0.77
00:07:29.200 like all right this guy there's no way that's how he talks for real you know dude what's your 0.97
00:07:33.820 ethnicity uh i think russian jew so you're much you're just kind of carry that you're white guy
00:07:38.300 you're white guy and i know that because i saw you perform last night and and apparently it was 0.59
00:07:43.040 news to you that a crip is the same
00:07:44.960 is different than crip. Bro that was
00:07:46.780 fucking hilarious. Oh yeah my 0.99
00:07:48.040 white rapper brother-in-law
00:07:50.740 Dirty. Shout out to Dirty.
00:07:53.600 I can't believe that. YouTube
00:07:54.900 is shit. It's actually not bad but 1.00
00:07:56.660 he yeah he's got 0.90
00:07:59.000 he was I think he was in the Bloods and Crips
00:08:00.960 where he's got friends that he kept
00:08:03.000 in touch with from the Bloods and Crips 0.71
00:08:04.680 which you know that's again what happens when your
00:08:06.880 family expands. You're just like oh now
00:08:08.860 I've got an in you know like now
00:08:10.580 Have you exercised it at all? Have you like
00:08:12.880 tried to go to Compton
00:08:13.880 and rep a set 0.99
00:08:14.600 or any of that shit? 1.00
00:08:15.380 For sure. 1.00
00:08:15.920 Yeah, yeah.
00:08:16.760 And it goes as you think.
00:08:19.120 Yeah, they're just like,
00:08:19.960 where's Kevin?
00:08:20.640 I'm like, sorry.
00:08:21.420 I didn't know I had a plus one.
00:08:23.180 Right?
00:08:23.560 And right when I...
00:08:24.580 You bullied him out of the room.
00:08:25.220 Give him a shout out.
00:08:26.080 He leaves. 1.00
00:08:26.640 God damn it, Kevin. 1.00
00:08:27.420 We got to work on your timing, man. 1.00
00:08:29.360 You just talked yourself
00:08:30.180 out of a Bloods and Crips picnic.
00:08:32.700 All right.
00:08:33.200 What were you playing this time?
00:08:34.080 It was applause.
00:08:34.680 Nice.
00:08:35.000 Bro, you're hilarious.
00:08:36.200 You're so funny.
00:08:37.000 It's an honor to be here, man.
00:08:38.100 It's an honor to have you on.
00:08:39.120 I came to your show months ago.
00:08:40.840 Back at Supernova
00:08:41.600 Yep
00:08:41.940 And then afterwards
00:08:42.900 When you were performing
00:08:43.980 I was like 0.99
00:08:44.280 That guy's fucking funny 0.98
00:08:45.800 You know 0.99
00:08:46.160 Like George said last night
00:08:47.500 Like great voice by the way
00:08:48.800 Oh thanks man
00:08:49.440 Dude that voice
00:08:50.100 Tequila and weed baby 0.98
00:08:50.960 That's the problem
00:08:51.640 Probably a little lack of sleep
00:08:52.780 Probably maybe my dad
00:08:55.880 Leaving had something to do with it
00:08:56.900 But we'll talk about that
00:08:57.780 Like screaming in a dark
00:08:59.380 Into a plastic bag
00:09:00.480 For days at a time
00:09:01.680 For sure
00:09:02.060 Oh man yeah
00:09:03.660 Made you a little course
00:09:04.220 For sure
00:09:04.420 Definitely probably did that
00:09:05.480 At some point
00:09:05.960 But yeah that show was great
00:09:06.980 That was
00:09:07.380 And that was right
00:09:08.300 Maybe two months before the fight
00:09:09.400 Right
00:09:09.640 Before the fight
00:09:11.200 I think that was the first show
00:09:14.300 After COVID
00:09:15.580 That's why it was a big deal
00:09:18.640 I remember going out
00:09:19.220 It was a big deal
00:09:20.540 Shout out to my boy Mark Saratella
00:09:22.980 For getting that going
00:09:23.820 And the Houston brothers for putting it on
00:09:26.340 But they found a space
00:09:27.920 Made comics feel safe
00:09:29.520 The outdoor thing
00:09:30.560 I don't know if you got to do any of these shows
00:09:33.360 With cars set up
00:09:34.860 Oh the drive-in ones?
00:09:37.140 You're not missing out
00:09:38.180 it was like so degrading
00:09:40.300 they just reverse out of there
00:09:40.700 they gave people like clappers
00:09:43.580 it was great that they tried to get something going
00:09:45.900 I'm sorry a drive-in comedy show
00:09:48.200 there were some acts like
00:09:49.280 Burt Kreischer crushed that
00:09:50.820 and his act is conducive to people pulling up in cars
00:09:53.820 sitting on the back of trucks
00:09:55.380 but this was like at the Magic Castle
00:09:57.380 so people pulled in
00:09:58.860 and you know they had the comedy
00:10:01.540 on a radio frequency in their car
00:10:03.560 but like
00:10:04.060 timing's off
00:10:05.040 you couldn't hear
00:10:06.060 you need that give and take
00:10:07.180 as Neil Brennan was saying that night he was like this is great to get to flex the muscle he's like
00:10:11.240 but you got to have that back and forth that you get with the live audience so when we had that
00:10:14.480 outdoor show that was uh that was money man and I remember seeing you in the crowd and I was like
00:10:18.220 oh this is cool I was like I hope I get to say what up just because I wanted to get inside your
00:10:22.660 head like again like two months prior what's that like literally yeah dude like I was hoping George 0.93
00:10:27.440 had some of that meth that fucking yeah LP meth that gets you right inside the brain got me there 0.94
00:10:31.920 and you could just follow you don't want to be there it's chaotic what is it like what's it what 0.99
00:10:36.440 is it like when you wake up what's going on imagine a tornado on fire with livestock being
00:10:41.040 spun around by whirlwind wow dude where do you have a graphics guy that should be the opening
00:10:45.300 to this podcast yeah you've been thinking about that right because i know i know that's what it
00:10:48.920 is it's a on fire tornado with livestock makes sense dude does it yeah okay you're a go go go
00:10:54.380 dude but in some interviews i've seen you gotta you have a chill button depends what part of my
00:10:58.760 life i'm at you know for sure but that that part of my life i was in chill mode came to see a good
00:11:02.160 show yeah got linked up and then uh yes ironic that i saw you last night yeah and i was like hey
00:11:07.280 you want to do free tomorrow awesome come on the pocket big time because he georgie as you know
00:11:11.580 our audience knows is kind of uh doing the stand-up thing larry's man grinding grinding man
00:11:16.840 yeah you got all the uh all the pieces you know he's okay i haven't i haven't seen it i'm just 0.90
00:11:22.040 kidding i'm gonna go fuck myself great to see him yeah he was that guy hey kevin let's get out of 0.99
00:11:27.680 I think he's the best 0.99
00:11:29.780 Nice dude
00:11:32.360 Do you have the feedback by the way
00:11:34.080 I do have the feedback
00:11:35.580 Can we just make sure it's not on the
00:11:37.260 Yeah there's some feedback coming through the headphones here
00:11:39.340 I've been looking for a moment to ask you
00:11:41.900 So look I'm going to out you
00:11:44.540 I'm going to out you bro
00:11:44.840 You're 39 years old
00:11:47.140 But have you always been this good at comedy
00:11:49.580 Has it taken you forever
00:11:51.000 I sort of even asked because you're sitting next to George
00:11:53.500 I want him to hear us
00:11:54.300 Got the protege right here
00:11:56.020 Because when I saw you
00:11:59.040 You're seasoned dude
00:12:00.580 You know exactly what you're doing
00:12:01.540 You know when you're going to laugh
00:12:02.440 I think there was some good crowd work that night too
00:12:05.920 Which is definitely a part of my
00:12:07.580 I'd say probably really the last five years
00:12:10.560 It's an active part of the show
00:12:14.120 Whether I'm doing a 15 minute set
00:12:15.540 Or I was just in
00:12:17.000 Fort Lauderdale 0.99
00:12:18.680 And there was some crazy shit that goes down 0.98
00:12:21.380 Sometimes I have bits that I kind of 0.93
00:12:22.960 Use to set up some sort of an exchange
00:12:25.240 where it's like I talk about my dream you know as a kid was being in the NBA so
00:12:29.680 that's a good line to use to be like and what do you do right now so I'm working
00:12:33.580 air-conditioning you know oh and what was that wasn't the dream was it and
00:12:36.940 then sometimes they say yeah all right and then that goes down the whole thing 0.98
00:12:40.120 you know you were a fucking five-year-old kid being like somebody 0.96
00:12:42.520 should really fix the temperature here I think I'll do that someday hopefully get 0.99
00:12:45.160 paid for it you know and so this guy so then that guy would be like no my dream
00:12:49.000 was XYZ and then we use that to kind of go into and get info and usually it's
00:12:53.740 an athlete or one guy this pothead one night i think it was in arizona wanted to be an astronaut 0.86
00:12:57.800 but he straight up was just like it was too fucking high man i was like and you were already 0.85
00:13:01.420 high enough right and he was like pretty much man i was like i couldn't get higher than i was man 0.98
00:13:05.380 oh you know what it was that night what's that there was a fucking drunk person that was having 0.98
00:13:10.220 way too much fun yeah interacting with you and you were smoking him dude you told him to shut up 0.98
00:13:16.240 you said yeah this is my show thank you yeah i think i said it funnier than that but yeah i
00:13:19.920 definitely said something yeah no dude i love you i love you explain a circumcision oh yeah last
00:13:28.560 night yeah well i mean i appreciate you man it's it's a skill set that like i have done poorly so
00:13:34.840 many times because when you're trying to crowd work like in podcasting which you guys have uh 0.53
00:13:39.940 have clearly you know got under control it's a fucking listening game man so it's like 0.95
00:13:43.920 you know i would be thinking of say something funny when i would start talking and i wouldn't 0.98
00:13:48.820 be listening so then when they would say something back i was just like trying to think of like quick
00:13:52.860 snaps and then they say something and i don't have the info so then i'm just like yeah so that's 0.99
00:13:57.580 probably why you got your shirt at the fucking fat fuck store and they're like but i'm a lady 0.99
00:14:01.400 and you're like all right chill you know i was telling you about my mom's untimely death and you 0.99
00:14:07.600 just made fun of my fucking shirt now it doesn't body shamed me yeah is this guy listening so uh 0.91
00:14:12.500 so then it was you know just trusting that you can have a little silence and like build the moment 0.99
00:14:17.140 Is truly a big part of it
00:14:18.940 And then just reps of
00:14:20.900 Thinking something, saying it
00:14:23.300 And not being funny and then you just get more and more
00:14:25.180 Comfy with trusting that you're going to deliver
00:14:27.320 Some stuff in a timely manner
00:14:29.300 But have you always been doing stand up
00:14:31.620 I guess like why
00:14:32.500 Honest question, why am I hearing about you now
00:14:35.140 Dude I mean
00:14:37.100 I don't know man
00:14:38.440 I've been grinding I'd say for
00:14:41.560 Came out here for acting school at USC
00:14:43.480 Graduated in 05
00:14:44.440 uh hit the ground running with you know youtube videos youtube it just popped so i was doing a
00:14:48.540 lot of sketches right snl was always kind of the dream so i was like i'll do stand-up because i
00:14:52.400 feel like a lot of those guys have that background you know i was acting is what i came here to do
00:14:56.000 so once i wasn't doing plays i was like i want to still be on the stage because i love that live
00:14:59.740 fix that you get from it but you know uh uh an improv uh did a bunch of that but then it was
00:15:05.260 trying to organize too many people to get like rehearsals and things going i was like stand-up
00:15:08.820 is just you so that's way more easier as far as like being accountable goes for and uh you know
00:15:14.820 acting's been good the last couple years um you know it's just a grind man there's truly um you
00:15:22.340 know you have to really get a good grasp on enjoying the process of getting better and it's
00:15:27.200 like early on and george you'll find this out man it's like you get a little bit of good vibes and
00:15:32.060 good heat and you kind of trick yourself into thinking you're further along than you are and 0.93
00:15:35.720 expecting more out of yourself right and you're like why don't i fucking you know like i got a 0.93
00:15:39.840 good 20 minutes now i can't get a late night spot at the at the tonight show and it's it's uh it's 0.92
00:15:45.700 truly uh one of those numbers games careers and the cream does rise to the top but i think every
00:15:51.420 if you can you know adjust your mindset at least and that's what i try to do uh to like every year
00:15:56.100 i don't you know get a special or something like that it's another year to to get better to uh to
00:16:01.780 keep uh you know just stacking the chips on everything that you're trying to do but honestly
00:16:06.160 man i don't try to make excuses it's like i have buddies back home and see others like there's just
00:16:10.120 too many white guys is that what it is too many white guys on netflix and they can only take like
00:16:13.880 bill burr you have hair that's probably why you have hair they only take bald guys in their 50s
00:16:18.460 and i'm like that has nothing to do with it but i appreciate the support we interrupt this program
00:16:22.100 to bring you a word from our sponsors ladies and gentlemen there's a lot going on in the world
00:16:24.940 whether it's stuff you're excited about or stuff you'd rather not think about can't always control
00:16:28.840 the vibes out there but you can always control the vibes in your head with a pair of raycon
00:16:32.680 wireless earbuds in your ear whether you use them to pump up wind down work or work out raycons are
00:16:38.440 my go-to for the on-the-go audio and the new everyday earbuds look feel and sound better than
00:16:43.500 ever with an improved rubber oil and look look and feel and optimized gel tips for the perfect
00:16:48.140 in-ear fit these are impressive before you even start listening you get three new sound profiles
00:16:52.460 to make sure everything you're listening to sounds its best with just the right amount of bass and
00:16:56.920 There's also an all-new awareness mode for when you need to listen to your surroundings instead.
00:17:01.160 Raycons offer eight hours of playtime and a 32-hour battery life.
00:17:04.080 There's also a built-in mic, and you can take calls on your earbuds at the press of a button.
00:17:07.580 They start at half the price of other premium audio brands, but they sound just as good,
00:17:11.480 and Raycons come with a 45-day happiness guarantee.
00:17:14.720 Right now, Impulse listeners can get 15% off their Raycon order at buyraycon.com.
00:17:18.480 That is buyraycon.com to save 15% back to the program.
00:17:23.860 But, yeah, I don't know.
00:17:25.140 you uh control what you can control man is what i just try to do and then you know uh not be a 0.98
00:17:30.480 piece of shit and be funny and deliver and and then hopefully um you know i just taped a uh 0.98
00:17:36.860 what i hope will be my special i was gonna ask surely something so finally i just was like you 0.99
00:17:41.800 know what i'm going to again like take matters into my own hands and i feel like i got you know
00:17:46.660 a good grasp i'm like who i am on stage and like my material i like right now that i kind of want
00:17:50.680 to get rid of and um you know some pre some post cove stuff and then uh you know wanting to capture
00:17:56.540 some good crowd work moments to have in a full show and so i taped about five shows up in san
00:18:00.640 francisco at the punchline which one of my favorite clubs real intimate people definitely argue i had
00:18:05.460 an old manager that did that was like you know have your special be in the theater if you're
00:18:09.040 introducing yourself to everyone you want it to be grandiose and have them aesthetically be like 0.98
00:18:13.800 this guy's the shit it's in the fucking theater and i'm like you know i kind of disagree is you 0.99
00:18:18.440 whatever fits you and the intimacy 1.00
00:18:20.700 of like supernovas you saw me
00:18:22.560 or even the factory with crowd work
00:18:23.980 it's a higher success
00:18:26.800 rate I feel like and I feel more comfy to do it
00:18:28.600 than in a theater which I have done but it's like you can't
00:18:30.880 see as far back you're yelling into the
00:18:32.700 darkness right the sound is different
00:18:34.260 the sound's different totally no one told me this I opened up 0.97
00:18:36.740 for Joe Coy and they didn't fucking let me know 0.71
00:18:38.700 this so I hit a joke that usually 0.92
00:18:40.560 crushes to open it up and it was all like
00:18:42.640 and I was like oh my god
00:18:43.960 I'm sorry man that's okay I should have had that laugh
00:18:46.560 machine for you there it is mikey right on cue my my favorite question to ask i put it down because
00:18:53.600 i just realized you're not wearing shoes i fucking love that every every podcast real quick tangent 0.99
00:18:57.340 do you also do that on the airplane all the time if you wear shoes on the airplane you're a fucking 0.98
00:19:01.580 weirdo if you wear jeans or shoes on the you see some of these old guys great t-shirt you talking 0.93
00:19:06.120 t-shirts mike somebody should tell you that get it out the door but i mean there's a lot you see
00:19:09.580 some of these old guys still rocking those 1950s uh traditional scenarios they're like
00:19:14.260 Traditional scenarios 0.93
00:19:15.000 If I'm going on the plane
00:19:15.940 I'm wearing a suit 1.00
00:19:16.520 And you know the real old guys 1.00
00:19:18.160 They hobble in with the full suit on 1.00
00:19:19.680 A lot of hobble
00:19:20.680 Shorts
00:19:21.480 Yeah
00:19:21.880 And I'll sometimes
00:19:23.020 Like I hate to say it
00:19:23.840 But I'll
00:19:24.120 The place I draw the line 1.00
00:19:26.180 Is the people with the bare feet 1.00
00:19:27.220 If you don't have socks on 1.00
00:19:28.640 Then leave your fucking shoes 1.00
00:19:29.420 A thousand percent 1.00
00:19:30.060 Socks
00:19:30.520 That's disgusting
00:19:30.800 Yeah
00:19:30.960 Even if your socks
00:19:31.860 Well how about this
00:19:32.860 Dirty socks or no socks
00:19:35.040 Dirty
00:19:35.700 Yeah
00:19:36.360 Dirty socks 0.88
00:19:36.900 Because at least that's capturing
00:19:37.860 Some of the smell
00:19:38.500 Yeah because I don't want to see your toes 0.96
00:19:39.780 How dirty 1.00
00:19:40.680 What's dirty right
00:19:41.540 Like actually dirty
00:19:43.140 Or like you wore them for one day
00:19:44.420 That is a good question
00:19:46.360 I'm asking you because truthfully
00:19:48.480 I'll find myself wearing the same shorts
00:19:50.380 10, 12, 60 days in a row
00:19:53.100 A thousand percent
00:19:53.660 That's what makes dudes great dude
00:19:55.660 We're like yo these shorts are my ride or dies
00:19:58.520 They were with me from the initial purchase
00:20:00.540 They've been through some rough times
00:20:01.860 A couple pick up games
00:20:02.900 Did you have a favorite pair of like
00:20:04.860 I don't know anything lead up to the fight
00:20:06.520 Dude I had a favorite hat
00:20:08.940 I had a favorite hat that said Yeti on it
00:20:10.900 Nice. 0.99
00:20:11.380 I got fucked up and survived everything. 0.99
00:20:14.400 I'm telling you, this has been all around the world. 0.99
00:20:17.380 Wow.
00:20:18.000 Spain.
00:20:19.160 We went to Ibiza, Ohio, Dubai.
00:20:23.520 Flowing off my hat on a dirt road.
00:20:25.900 We go get it.
00:20:26.320 It gets run over by a truck like a shotgun to a hole through or whatever.
00:20:28.620 Oh, man.
00:20:29.420 I was in Ohio, and I saw this fan.
00:20:32.200 He was so nice, such a sweet kid.
00:20:33.660 He goes, can I have your hat? 1.00
00:20:35.280 I'm like, fuck. 1.00
00:20:36.440 Sure, brother. 1.00
00:20:37.660 You just gave it to him.
00:20:38.300 No, I said, no. 1.00
00:20:39.100 Get the fuck away from me, kid 1.00
00:20:41.900 Where's your parent? 1.00
00:20:42.660 I needed him to know
00:20:44.740 If I was going to give him this hat
00:20:46.220 It's like a piece of me
00:20:47.420 I so thought this story was going to end on the sweetest note ever
00:20:50.520 Be like, no, that's the first time I stiff-armed a kid
00:20:52.700 In public
00:20:54.040 Usually I do it private behind closed doors
00:20:56.020 But this time I wanted people to see
00:20:57.420 It wouldn't have been the first time
00:20:59.260 You know, though, I totally respect that
00:21:02.540 I'm sorry, I gave him the hat
00:21:04.040 I gave him a speech beforehand
00:21:05.840 Sorry, I cut you off
00:21:06.960 I was like, hey kid, this hat's seen everything
00:21:09.660 This is a piece of me
00:21:11.540 I'm gonna give it to you because I like your energy
00:21:13.680 But I need you to know how significant this hat is to me
00:21:16.120 And then I place it on the little kid
00:21:17.640 And I don't have it
00:21:18.660 And I don't regret it, but I think about it every day
00:21:20.780 48 hours later, eBay
00:21:22.700 Straight to eBay
00:21:24.620 Bought it back from the kid
00:21:26.120 Social influencer Jake Paul's hat that I took from him 1.00
00:21:29.460 Turns out the kid was a dwarf 1.00
00:21:30.720 Sold it for 60 grand, I bought it from him 1.00
00:21:32.580 Sold it for 35 bucks
00:21:33.940 No, we're kidding
00:21:35.380 No we're not
00:21:35.820 I bought it
00:21:36.400 Dude that's so funny
00:21:37.460 And now he's wearing it
00:21:38.460 That's so funny
00:21:39.540 Who bought it
00:21:40.420 No I never went on the eBay
00:21:41.600 We're not sorry
00:21:42.540 I'm sorry
00:21:43.300 I'm sorry
00:21:43.840 Are you gullible too
00:21:44.860 He's so gullible
00:21:46.160 Are you really
00:21:46.840 Oh dude somebody told me
00:21:47.980 Maybe a month after my folks split
00:21:50.520 On the playground
00:21:51.100 That they got back together
00:21:51.980 He was like
00:21:52.420 I heard he's like
00:21:53.020 He was like kind of
00:21:53.940 You know I would go to his house a lot 1.00
00:21:55.660 Like what a fucked up lie 1.00
00:21:56.800 At like 10 0.99
00:21:57.580 How old were you
00:21:59.060 About 10 yeah
00:22:00.600 Oh no
00:22:01.380 How about lying about like
00:22:02.800 Hey I heard like 1.00
00:22:03.440 They're bringing Barchetta back
00:22:04.540 At the cafeteria for lunch
00:22:06.180 Did you guys have barchetta? It was like a pizza boat type thing
00:22:08.200 Yeah yeah yeah
00:22:08.920 So ours was called barchetta 1.00
00:22:11.080 And you know that's the type of shit 1.00
00:22:14.820 You want to maybe throw some fibs 1.00
00:22:16.280 At kids about but this kid was like
00:22:18.420 At recess
00:22:19.640 By the way I'm like not even a month removed
00:22:22.060 So I was like still very raw and I was just like
00:22:24.020 No way
00:22:25.420 Like just immediately on board with it because I probably wanted it to happen
00:22:28.220 How would he have known that?
00:22:29.960 Did you do your due diligence?
00:22:31.560 My mom was good friends with his 0.99
00:22:33.560 so i'm sure he heard it in conversation on a phone call or like i'm so sorry yeah no fuck 0.99
00:22:38.480 that guy you know like and then the kid was like what was that oh you know um adam's mom you know 0.98
00:22:42.980 is uh getting a divorce and then just comes to recess with that info locked and loaded
00:22:47.360 just shooting truth darts at me and i was just like nasty divorce i went home and i was like mom 1.00
00:22:52.700 i don't know what happened but like fuck yeah she was like no he's a he's a piece of shit who told 1.00
00:22:58.200 you that and i was like wait what all right we still having spaghetti for dinner you know 1.00
00:23:01.740 Did you end up
00:23:03.480 Getting the kid back
00:23:05.420 I'm sure
00:23:07.520 He was definitely one of those 1.00
00:23:09.580 Bully kids 1.00
00:23:11.180 That grew into the bully 1.00
00:23:13.140 Was the type of kid that
00:23:15.560 You know
00:23:17.060 Would have emergency clothes a lot
00:23:19.420 Because he'd fall in the mud a lot
00:23:20.760 Did you ever have emergency clothes
00:23:22.420 Where they'd have purple sweatpants
00:23:25.260 And a weird turtleneck 1.00
00:23:26.540 If you fucked up your shit at school 1.00
00:23:28.420 What you're talking about 1.00
00:23:30.520 It's the oversized gym clothes that no one wore
00:23:33.580 And they're always moist
00:23:35.100 Always moist? What is that?
00:23:37.080 I don't know
00:23:37.560 Why isn't I getting more attention?
00:23:40.540 These moist gym clothes
00:23:41.500 Does that still happen in schools?
00:23:43.320 I'd actually like to know that
00:23:44.380 Probably not after COVID 1.00
00:23:46.820 It's probably bring your own shit now 1.00
00:23:48.660 You're going to stick in mud for a bit 1.00
00:23:50.640 The worst would be 1.00
00:23:51.900 I'd feel so bad when a girl would accidentally 1.00
00:23:54.880 Show her shoulder at school 1.00
00:23:56.460 Because she'd wear the straps
00:23:57.480 And in my school shoulders weren't allowed 0.96
00:23:59.700 Like you weren't actually allowed to have shoulders
00:24:02.840 Wait, wait, wait, wait
00:24:04.080 Where did you go to school where you couldn't show a little shoulder?
00:24:06.180 No, not show them, you couldn't have shoulders
00:24:07.760 You weren't if you had any kind of shoulder
00:24:09.920 If you did this, detention
00:24:11.320 What? No fucking sitcom shrugs? 1.00
00:24:15.620 No fucking 1.00
00:24:16.420 I guess the test is today, Mr. Larson 0.99
00:24:18.880 Detention
00:24:19.560 What did I do?
00:24:23.040 Detention again! 0.95
00:24:24.480 You shrugged, goddammit, George 0.96
00:24:26.340 Oh, man 0.86
00:24:28.100 These pretty girls would be wearing these 1.00
00:24:30.420 Just extremely baggy 1.00
00:24:32.520 Really not so pleasant outfits
00:24:35.220 They didn't want to highlight anything, huh?
00:24:37.680 Well, yeah
00:24:38.300 The school would be like
00:24:39.380 Here, wear this trash bag
00:24:40.440 Instead of the shoulder outfit
00:24:41.660 Stop
00:24:41.740 100%
00:24:42.720 No, I'm not in trash bags
00:24:43.940 It wasn't trash
00:24:44.520 I'm comparing the oversized gym outfit 0.73
00:24:48.480 Which basically was a trash bag
00:24:49.880 I took a picture to go 100%
00:24:51.780 Wearing a trash bag 0.80
00:24:52.620 Aren't you guys supposed to be comedians, bro? 0.99
00:24:53.920 Trash bag Tina 0.97
00:24:54.120 This is jokes, guys 0.96
00:24:54.920 We're funny, we're not educated
00:24:55.960 Well, see, we are
00:24:57.000 We're yes anding everything that comes at us
00:24:58.980 And we're trying to like you know make something out of it
00:25:01.020 What's the most annoying like 0.98
00:25:03.040 Dude you're fucking triggering me right now bro 0.99
00:25:05.340 I'm having flashbacks 1.00
00:25:07.320 What's the most annoying heckler
00:25:09.580 Or person you had in the crowd
00:25:11.560 Where you're like I can't believe this is a human
00:25:13.440 Bro I had one this past weekend
00:25:16.060 Well the craziest one I'll tell you
00:25:17.880 This past weekend I'm going to be posting a clip on my Instagram
00:25:20.040 Next week of this
00:25:21.380 I had to kick out this guy it was bonkers
00:25:22.940 But the worst one I had was
00:25:25.220 I was playing Wolverine at Universal Studios Hollywood
00:25:27.300 That was my day job when I graduated
00:25:28.880 I was doing the back lot tour on the tram and then playing Wolverine
00:25:31.640 Because somebody had to step up
00:25:33.100 George didn't have that beard yet
00:25:34.340 I feel like you'd be amazing at that
00:25:36.140 You wear the suit, you wear the fake abs, the fake fangs
00:25:39.280 And then your face is showing
00:25:40.500 And it's like 23 an hour to go up to kids
00:25:43.280 And be like hey you like Spider-Man
00:25:44.960 And they're like yeah
00:25:45.760 And I'm like yeah me too, he's my best friend 0.99
00:25:47.580 And they're like no shit 0.93
00:25:48.520 And I'm like yeah you want to take a picture 1.00
00:25:49.720 You can fucking jerk off to it later 1.00
00:25:51.120 Very Italian 1.00
00:25:54.360 And why is Wolverine in my box? 0.99
00:25:58.960 Wolverine just told me about some hit he put out on, you know, yeah. 0.95
00:26:02.180 Hey, Shing. 1.00
00:26:04.220 You ever regret it? 0.87
00:26:05.200 Shing, he says Shing when he takes him out. 1.00
00:26:07.480 That's such a funny thing to do. 1.00
00:26:09.700 Bozoings. 0.66
00:26:10.680 You're like, all right, worst character ever. 0.99
00:26:12.960 But so I was at this winery in Paso Robles.
00:26:16.480 You guys ever go up there?
00:26:17.580 Never, not once.
00:26:18.460 It's like three hours from here.
00:26:19.600 It's like Napa light, right?
00:26:20.820 It's got its own flavor.
00:26:22.000 So I go up there, and I'm in the upstairs of this brewery.
00:26:24.360 And my buddy lived there, so he was bringing a comedy show back.
00:26:27.980 So it was about 300 people packed in this upstairs brewery.
00:26:30.500 And I was doing all this material about playing Wolverine and whatnot.
00:26:33.960 And I was about three years in, maybe like 20 minutes max that I felt good about.
00:26:38.780 But at that stage, I'm just like, I got an hour.
00:26:40.680 And they're like, oh, cool, 20 is fine.
00:26:42.540 It's probably not that great.
00:26:43.880 You're like, cool, cool, cool. 0.63
00:26:44.880 And so there's a gal to my left about 20 feet away. 1.00
00:26:48.180 And she's just hammered. 1.00
00:26:49.320 And she's like spitting stuff out left and right. 1.00
00:26:51.440 This can't stand for your best. 0.96
00:26:53.500 that i was like somebody get her another drink you know like and take her take her keys and then
00:26:58.440 she at one point was like let me give you a kiss and i was like should i let her kiss me so i walk 0.99
00:27:02.380 over she like licks the side of my face i make some crass comment about getting like herpes
00:27:06.700 gingivitis and like all everything you could ask for in one lick and then as i'm walking back to
00:27:11.160 the middle of the stage i'm like looking down thinking of my next move and i just seen the
00:27:15.020 peripheral uh my peripheral vision like her hand go up and everyone's drinking wine instead of
00:27:19.760 winery and i just see her hand go up like this and then just like that and before i'm like looking
00:27:24.820 down but i kind of see it and i it would just happen so quick before i could even like turn
00:27:29.680 or like get out of the way so it was just like make one choice so i just went like that and i
00:27:35.240 swear to god the base of the wine glass my palms were just sweaty enough that the base of the wine
00:27:39.240 glass like clipped like two little parts of the webbing of my hand and stuck for about half a 0.81
00:27:43.800 second and i just was like fucking like that and grab and wrap my hand i swear to god wrap my hand 0.98
00:27:49.200 around it and realized that i just caught the fucking wine glass i'll admit it i swear to god 0.97
00:27:54.080 brett riley you can hit him up he'll confirm this whole story that's whose gig it was i wrap around 0.91
00:27:58.220 the wine glass and then i slowly turn my head to it and then there's a silence in the crowd and 0.98
00:28:03.040 then i just went and everybody goes everyone's going nuts everyone was doing that and fucking 0.86
00:28:11.060 going to detention and uh and dude and so it was crazy everyone's going nuts and now i'm just 0.91
00:28:16.240 thinking of like how do i button this and so i walk over and i put it on her uh right in front 0.99
00:28:20.280 of her table and i go i told you i'm wolverine bitch don't fuck with me place goes nuts again 0.99
00:28:25.000 they end up taking her out like i'm like hey i mean it was like tom hanks walking into a panera 0.99
00:28:30.020 bread everybody went fucking nuts you know that is so cool smoking me out drinking afterwards like 0.58
00:28:34.620 i end up smoking in this weird couple's car in the back like for an hour after and they got into 0.98
00:28:38.600 this huge fight and i like slipped out of the car while they were fighting because i thought they
00:28:41.760 were going to take off um fell asleep in the shower that night twice and like woke up falling
00:28:46.100 out of the shower and the guy the night didn't take the turn i expected dude i ended up through
00:28:50.020 i ended up he's like he's like two days later i was homeless smoking meth with a trash bag
00:28:56.140 covering my shoulders dressing up like george just to get into nightclubs yeah eating crickets 0.98
00:29:00.300 that some guy kept letting out or out like dude where did this fucking story dude i'm telling you 0.94
00:29:04.500 this was three years in the comedy getting my first taste of like you're the man in paso robles 0.97
00:29:09.480 i mean they were throwing the kitchen sink at me and they were like dude that's an that was a crazy
00:29:13.920 unscripted never gonna happen again moment
00:29:15.680 so I was just like very gluttonous
00:29:17.700 I was like give me all the shots give me all the weed 0.99
00:29:19.380 I threw a lean cuisine at the fucking window and broke it 0.99
00:29:21.940 hell yeah 1.00
00:29:22.500 the moment you were like I'm the shit right now 1.00
00:29:24.700 yeah dude you gotta have that you gotta like you know enjoy it 0.99
00:29:27.680 I could have just gone home and been like no no no
00:29:29.800 Wolverine's gotta get his beauty rest
00:29:31.120 you make a good point can I ask is that one of the coolest
00:29:33.940 things you've ever done 0.95
00:29:34.960 at that point I've done some pretty cool shit
00:29:38.080 since yeah thankfully yeah
00:29:39.520 we interrupt this program to bring you a word from our sponsors
00:29:41.960 it's Blue Chew today say it with us
00:29:43.640 Blue Chew. Blue Chew is a unique
00:29:45.580 online service that delivers the same active ingredients
00:29:47.820 as Viagra and Cialis but in chewable
00:29:49.740 form and at a fraction of the cost
00:29:51.500 Blue Chew's tablets help men achieve harder
00:29:53.740 stronger erections to combat all forms
00:29:55.740 of ED, erectile dysfunction.
00:29:57.580 Blue Chew is an online prescription service
00:29:59.280 so no visits to the doctor's office,
00:30:01.480 no awkward conversations and no waiting in line
00:30:03.480 at the pharmacy and it ships right to your door in a discreet
00:30:05.500 package. The process is simple
00:30:07.520 sign up at BlueChew.com, consult one
00:30:09.540 of their licensed medical providers and
00:30:11.460 once you're approved you'll receive your prescription
00:30:13.260 within days the best part it's all done online bluetooth is licensed medical providers work with
00:30:19.600 you to find the right ingredients and strength for your prescription uh so if you could benefit
00:30:23.300 from the extra confidence when it's time to perform visit bluetooth.com for more details
00:30:27.260 and important safety information here's a special d uh special detail it says deal and i'll say it
00:30:34.200 we got a special deal for you guys try bluetooth free when you use the promo code logan to check
00:30:38.500 out just pay five dollars shipping that's bluetooth.com promo code logan to receive
00:30:41.740 your first month free thank you and blue chew for sponsoring the podcast thank you thank you
00:30:46.300 reading his heart i have these moments sometimes that are like definitely not supposed to happen
00:30:52.220 but just because of like how physics are of course you know yeah one of the coolest things i've ever
00:30:57.040 done and i will stand by this to this day you ever go to dave and busters love it arcades in general
00:31:01.800 just big fan you'll find arcades big fan you'll find me there every time love that so you know
00:31:06.640 the bar game where that little
00:31:08.600 line goes up and down on that
00:31:10.660 tower and you have to stop it right
00:31:12.820 in the middle? Yeah. So hard.
00:31:15.380 I'm pretty good too when I'm paying
00:31:16.600 attention, but I was on a date
00:31:18.720 with a girl, right? Why else would I be at an arcade
00:31:20.700 as a grown man? Great.
00:31:22.660 By the way, he was definitely there by himself. Continue?
00:31:24.640 I was by myself? Yeah. Great date
00:31:26.760 spot though, by the way. No joke, yeah.
00:31:28.640 Great date spot. Except I get too sucked up in the games,
00:31:31.000 dude. You're competitive. Lost in the sauce. 0.81
00:31:32.700 So she's like, should I go
00:31:34.660 get us some more
00:31:36.100 Keita Diaz? You're like, let me finish
00:31:38.460 the time game, Christine.
00:31:41.080 Do you not see me playing? 1.00
00:31:42.580 Try to line the lineup with the fucking line. 1.00
00:31:45.000 Just hold the fucking tokens. 1.00
00:31:46.920 Just hold the fucking tokens. 1.00
00:31:48.220 Tickets now, which by the way are gone. There's no more tickets, dude. 0.99
00:31:51.560 See, hey, they just go right to the cart.
00:31:53.100 I can't believe it. You won't see him walking
00:31:54.440 with the big pilot. You know that
00:31:56.240 kid's ball. Wow, he must be good at the pirate game.
00:31:59.020 Oh, that kid has his parents shell out
00:32:00.920 like 15 grand so he can get
00:32:02.740 90,000 tickets
00:32:03.800 You get a bouncy ball
00:32:04.840 And six now and later
00:32:05.580 Yeah but can you get
00:32:06.220 Like a platinum card now
00:32:07.320 So like if you have
00:32:07.960 Like the upgraded
00:32:08.740 That card
00:32:09.360 That means yo
00:32:09.900 I've had 150,000 tickets
00:32:11.640 I'm strictly talking about
00:32:12.740 Just like in Vegas
00:32:12.940 Yeah probably
00:32:13.560 You could tell 1.00
00:32:14.420 How big someone's dick is 1.00
00:32:15.760 By how many tickets 1.00
00:32:16.480 They were holding
00:32:17.020 And now I don't know
00:32:18.000 That was my high school
00:32:18.600 Yearbook quote by the way
00:32:19.520 Yeah
00:32:20.020 Yeah
00:32:20.560 But look
00:32:21.100 I was like
00:32:21.860 Okay so you got
00:32:22.280 Dave and Buster's
00:32:23.000 You're crushing it
00:32:23.760 We were playing this game
00:32:24.380 Was doing well
00:32:25.000 And I turned to her
00:32:26.860 And I didn't even
00:32:28.180 Face the machine
00:32:28.880 And I said like 1.00
00:32:29.840 The corniest shit 1.00
00:32:30.480 I was like 1.00
00:32:30.780 This one's for you
00:32:31.920 And I just went 1.00
00:32:32.640 direct eye contact with the girl i went boom i turn and hit the jackpot right in the middle
00:32:40.320 and you know like bro i i did it with the attempt to be cool but obviously i wasn't gonna do it 0.96
00:32:45.940 and so now i'm like fuck do i acknowledge that this was single-handedly the coolest 0.96
00:32:49.800 fucking thing i've ever done in my life or or do i like play it off like that i have to play it off 0.98
00:32:54.980 what do you do yikes i mean that is a this is a great story and an even better question because 0.99
00:33:01.340 what do you do yeah the move is i mean you you hope i mean then you just gotta ask yourself
00:33:06.520 what's the type of girl that you want to be with at that point right the type that like also freaks
00:33:10.700 out and goes well i'm usually not into these games but that was fucking incredible and like 0.97
00:33:15.260 celebrates your celebration or you freak out and she's like it's just a fucking game it's not a 0.98
00:33:21.240 fucking my dad owns a ticket company like i could get you tickets what if she was just so impressed 0.99
00:33:27.360 That she went up one more knot 0.99
00:33:29.040 That's what I'm saying
00:33:29.600 She just like 1.00
00:33:30.100 Holy shit 1.00
00:33:31.220 This is the hottest shit ever 1.00
00:33:32.280 Put her arm out 1.00
00:33:32.940 And they just walked into the sunset together
00:33:34.660 Like off that one thing
00:33:35.480 Well that's the ideal situation
00:33:36.520 He looks in his eyes 0.94
00:33:36.960 I want to Dave and bust inside of me tonight 0.99
00:33:38.860 Dave and bust inside of me 0.98
00:33:40.320 Yeah
00:33:40.420 And the owner comes over
00:33:42.260 He's like
00:33:42.500 By the way there's tickets behind Mike
00:33:43.180 I love how there's tickets behind Mike 0.99
00:33:44.700 Like I've never seen that shit in my life 0.99
00:33:46.320 Whoa 1.00
00:33:47.100 Set up for the story
00:33:48.600 Wow
00:33:49.240 That's incredible 0.99
00:33:49.920 Fucking props 1.00
00:33:50.500 It made one bitch 1.00
00:33:51.360 So what I did was 1.00
00:33:52.260 Okay so yeah
00:33:52.840 So then
00:33:53.220 I looked at it
00:33:54.400 And I turned back
00:33:55.720 And for the first five seconds
00:33:57.420 I was like
00:33:57.960 Yeah it's whatever
00:33:59.720 And then bro
00:34:01.700 Natural
00:34:02.040 I was bleeding from the inside 0.99
00:34:04.240 About how fucking cool it was 0.97
00:34:05.700 And I was like 0.93
00:34:06.520 I have to be honest with you 0.93
00:34:08.280 That was so fucking cool 0.81
00:34:09.460 I admire myself 0.72
00:34:11.280 So he did both
00:34:11.600 He did both
00:34:12.280 I go I have to be honest with you 1.00
00:34:14.160 That was the dopest shit I've ever done 0.99
00:34:16.980 That's not really how cool I am 0.99
00:34:19.020 You in the back there
00:34:20.340 With the shoulder showing
00:34:21.120 I have the most embarrassing story
00:34:23.240 That's like that
00:34:24.000 Not like that
00:34:25.340 It reminds me of that
00:34:26.200 And it happened literally last night
00:34:28.560 We were at the Laugh Factory
00:34:29.520 And I invited these comedians to my house
00:34:32.260 And I did not think that there were certain comedians
00:34:34.400 That were going to show up in my house
00:34:35.300 And I get a text like I'm on my way
00:34:37.780 And I'm at the red light bro 0.99
00:34:38.960 And I'm like what the fuck 0.99
00:34:40.420 So I call my mom and dad 0.99
00:34:41.760 It's like Bill Cosby's coming over
00:34:42.960 I can't believe it
00:34:44.320 I don't even have his number
00:34:45.240 Okay keep going
00:34:46.560 R. Kelly's performing
00:34:47.700 Dude I must see
00:34:50.260 That's must see TV right there
00:34:51.540 I'm sorry I know some people are pissed about it
00:34:52.800 Yeah yeah yeah
00:34:53.380 Pissed off dude
00:34:55.260 look at you wow is that a pun intended it's all getting cut yeah just keep going just keep your 1.00
00:35:00.320 fucking story the cameras aren't even on bro it's all getting keep going george what's your story 1.00
00:35:04.520 man i'm at the red light i'm on the phone my mom and dad and i'm just like i'm like super fucking 0.99
00:35:09.380 excited yeah and i'm telling them like i can't believe it this is so cool like blah blah i'ma 0.93
00:35:12.980 go fuck they're calling me right now so i hang up and i go what's up man like just super like 0.80
00:35:17.320 like i'm cool and he goes dude we're at the red light next to you and i turn around and they're 0.99
00:35:22.520 I was like, and I just, I got so guilty.
00:35:26.240 I was like, I was telling my mom, you're coming over to my house.
00:35:28.540 I was just a little excited.
00:35:30.500 So adorable.
00:35:31.580 Were you physically like, bro, this was me in the car, right?
00:35:34.840 I swear to God.
00:35:36.020 No way.
00:35:37.840 That's excitement, dude.
00:35:38.800 That's raw George excitement.
00:35:40.600 I'm like, hold on, hold on.
00:35:41.260 This is the best part.
00:35:41.900 They're going to call me right now.
00:35:42.660 I hit the button.
00:35:43.180 I just go, what's up, dude?
00:35:45.700 Oh, so they saw the transition.
00:35:47.040 Yes.
00:35:47.580 Yes.
00:35:48.200 And they're like, dude, we're right next to you at the red light.
00:35:50.160 And I go, oh my God.
00:35:51.520 So I just had to confess what I did
00:35:53.080 It's easier to confess man
00:35:55.360 Same thing in stand up man
00:35:57.420 If something goes not as planned 0.99
00:35:59.480 And it's kind of fucked 0.97
00:36:00.280 You comment on it 0.99
00:36:01.360 Everyone enjoys that way more
00:36:02.740 Holding in your excitement
00:36:07.000 That's like the equivalent 0.99
00:36:07.880 I've heard from some gals 0.99
00:36:09.940 I guess even from guys 1.00
00:36:12.680 You're holding in a fart right
00:36:13.880 And you finally get to let it out
00:36:15.200 That's probably the closest thing I can think of
00:36:17.700 The best feeling ever
00:36:18.620 Especially with a new girl
00:36:20.300 End of the date 1.00
00:36:20.920 You drop her off
00:36:21.860 I could go for 30-40 seconds
00:36:23.560 Who's let one out
00:36:24.580 Like date one
00:36:25.840 And just been like
00:36:26.880 This is who I am
00:36:27.800 Take it or leave it
00:36:28.440 That's a legend
00:36:29.060 I feel like that's a Kevin move
00:36:30.220 Oh Kevin would definitely do that
00:36:32.100 Yeah yeah for sure
00:36:32.960 What are you gonna do about it
00:36:34.260 Oh man is that your voice
00:36:35.500 You never heard of it
00:36:36.540 Scarface is so good
00:36:37.960 Well I've only seen Nodge
00:36:39.080 But I was like
00:36:39.500 Maybe that is how he sounds 1.00
00:36:40.500 Fuck yeah 1.00
00:36:41.140 But you're sitting in that booth 1.00
00:36:43.200 In a very Scarface manner 1.00
00:36:44.700 So yeah
00:36:45.440 Also with his legs up
00:36:46.800 Farting
00:36:47.280 As he's farting
00:36:48.540 He's letting him out right now
00:36:49.840 that's the fart booth 0.96
00:36:50.900 yeah 0.57
00:36:51.140 okay so you do that though
00:36:52.580 because that's
00:36:53.040 what Mike said
00:36:53.820 that's some legend
00:36:54.420 do what 0.65
00:36:55.220 like you just be farting 0.59
00:36:56.320 on the first date
00:36:56.900 oh no no
00:36:57.700 that's insane
00:36:58.460 no you gotta keep the
00:36:59.420 I mean dude
00:36:59.920 I uh
00:37:00.840 you know
00:37:01.840 when I have met
00:37:03.140 couples like
00:37:04.560 or uh
00:37:05.260 in shows or whatever
00:37:06.260 I used to do a bit about that
00:37:07.420 and like
00:37:07.900 there'd be guys
00:37:08.800 that were just like
00:37:09.200 yeah man 1.00
00:37:09.540 you gotta let her fucking fly 1.00
00:37:10.520 like I trap her face 1.00
00:37:11.340 in the pillow
00:37:11.720 when she sleeps
00:37:12.340 that's a game 1.00
00:37:12.980 called what I fucking eat 0.99
00:37:14.260 and I'm like 0.99
00:37:14.760 dude that is 0.99
00:37:15.820 no chick is ever 0.99
00:37:16.960 turned on by that 1.00
00:37:18.160 like and even the gals 1.00
00:37:19.060 that they say are like
00:37:19.820 obvious no obviously well i don't know for me i'm like keep i i don't know man keep it alive 0.85
00:37:24.740 it's keep the romance alive as long as you can but like but but also hey man i do know gals that
00:37:29.780 like you know just laugh it off from their dudes and it's not an issue so i guess it's just you 0.96
00:37:34.280 know it's the equivalent of a prank it's like you're fucking with your buddy yeah it's just 0.96
00:37:39.260 like can you handle this because i can't so a lot of girls a lot of girls that i that i've 0.98
00:37:44.040 farted in front of like especially moving into a relationships phase they'll be like yo that was 1.00
00:37:50.160 a bitch fart like they'll actually comment on it and be like yo that was that was a bitch 0.99
00:37:53.840 my question has never been when is it okay for me to fart my question is when is it okay 1.00
00:37:57.580 for them to fart now that's the big that's the big question i would yeah how far it depends on
00:38:03.700 what it is if it's like a like you know the middle of the night they're going out on the
00:38:07.840 lawn and all the grass dies like yeah probably do that away from the bedroom always but if it's
00:38:13.200 like a little cute you stepped on a button yeah whatever that was what about like the early
00:38:17.940 morning i've been laying on one side for a while and i'm gonna just like let one rock i think it
00:38:22.720 always comes down to the smell too like if you're if we're talking about and if it wakes you up if
00:38:26.500 it's in the morning and it wakes you up like that always is daunting like you've ever woken yourself
00:38:30.960 up with a fart on a plane in the middle of the seat hi i'm adam ray every year so many people
00:38:36.780 struggle from no dude i've had a couple of flight farts dude great they're opening they're gonna
00:38:42.900 The shirts, the shirts, man.
00:38:45.120 Flight farts.
00:38:45.720 You speak in T-shirts.
00:38:46.780 Yeah, you really do, man.
00:38:47.980 You do.
00:38:48.600 Flight farts.
00:38:49.180 I hate us.
00:38:49.540 How has COVID been for you?
00:38:50.800 Are you a fan of it, non-fan? 0.97
00:38:52.480 Do you believe the government's trying to turn us into gay frogs like Alex Jones? 0.94
00:38:55.480 Like, where are you at with it? 0.98
00:38:56.060 Great question. 1.00
00:38:56.660 Gay frogs? 1.00
00:38:57.260 Yep. 0.99
00:38:57.540 Is that his take?
00:38:58.360 It is his take.
00:38:59.460 Not a bad take.
00:39:01.400 Not a great take.
00:39:04.020 You know what I'm saying?
00:39:04.980 As long as both sides are...
00:39:06.640 I can see both sides.
00:39:07.760 Yeah, I can see both sides.
00:39:08.740 Yeah, yeah.
00:39:09.280 One a little clearer than the other, but I see them both.
00:39:12.140 I don't know, man.
00:39:12.820 i think most comics and most people uh thought you know oh uh a month maybe so that's a nice um
00:39:20.720 you know a break a a uh you know shut down just um where you truly have no you can't go anywhere
00:39:29.120 can't do anything so like this is fun almost yeah east coast guy seattle exact opposite okay so for
00:39:35.780 me it was like yo there's a big snowstorm coming oh this is fun dude we can hunker down play some 0.96
00:39:40.700 board games for a while guess what two girls one cup videos exactly just fucking watch everything 0.91
00:39:45.840 all the christmas classics is what i'm trying to say when i found out the snowstorm wasn't 0.88
00:39:49.220 gonna stop in june or august and the snowstorm was just gonna keep coming yeah mountain dew 0.83
00:39:54.680 code red panic attack yeah yeah it was uh it sucked and then it was like oh it really sucks 0.98
00:40:01.800 and then look i think you know you think in terms of like your own career and shit as far as like 0.98
00:40:07.240 oh is stand-up never coming back and then you know you quickly push that to the side with 0.63
00:40:12.640 oh people are my folks gonna die you know i'm saying like so you just try to balance like
00:40:17.200 what's prioritizing even at that point which i think was a healthy thing to do and hopefully
00:40:22.380 you did it it's like i tried to even strengthen some relationships with some family members 0.98
00:40:26.740 uh dirty for example my uh rapper brother-in-law being like i should fuck now i have i have no 0.98
00:40:31.700 reason to not get back to him or you know i'm saying like just uh take advantage of the downtime 0.99
00:40:37.000 exact opposite here with my family
00:40:39.320 yeah it got a little
00:40:40.480 heated oh jesus 1.00
00:40:42.560 yeah they're doing all kinds of shit back there 0.99
00:40:45.480 hey guys deal or no deal at this point 0.99
00:40:47.500 so what do you hear
00:40:49.060 on mic
00:40:50.480 can you hit me with the applause please
00:40:52.340 oh so the mics are still rocking around
00:40:54.560 yeah yeah no we're crushing it 0.69
00:40:55.840 dude my 1.00
00:40:56.220 I'm gonna out him but fuck it whatever 1.00
00:40:59.400 who's this I have an uncle 1.00
00:41:00.780 what's his name don't do it
00:41:03.320 just call him uncle jimmy
00:41:05.080 we'll do it I do have an uncle jim
00:41:06.920 It's Jim's brother
00:41:08.040 Uncle Jim's brother
00:41:10.680 It's Uncle Jeff
00:41:11.460 Jeff, I love you
00:41:12.240 You're my uncle
00:41:12.800 I always love you
00:41:13.340 You're my family
00:41:13.840 Yeah, yeah
00:41:14.260 I'm about to check you, bro
00:41:15.340 This is what we do
00:41:15.980 This is what family should do, man
00:41:17.640 I don't know if you met him
00:41:19.260 Was he the crocodile guy?
00:41:21.380 Nice
00:41:21.700 I don't know if anyone
00:41:22.520 wants to be labeled that, by the way
00:41:23.660 The guy who looks like
00:41:24.320 he was in the jungle
00:41:25.900 And he had the glasses 0.99
00:41:26.900 He was funny as fuck 0.99
00:41:27.700 Okay, that's cool 0.98
00:41:28.320 The restaurant
00:41:28.780 The one that watched 1.00
00:41:30.240 your aunt ride my cock 1.00
00:41:31.220 Yes 1.00
00:41:31.660 The one who was outside
00:41:33.100 No, oh, no, don't
00:41:34.180 That's my mom's side
00:41:35.200 I'm talking about my
00:41:35.860 i'm talking about greg's brother big family first of all you no no not massive yeah but
00:41:40.300 you know and is everybody though sorry real quick question sure how much of uh your success
00:41:46.760 pulled the family more together zero okay absolutely everyone was already where they were 0.87
00:41:51.740 they don't no one gives a fuck gotcha except my one uncle jeff cool right and i've heard that how 0.94
00:41:56.720 you want it no because i've heard these stories i've heard these stories about like you know 0.96
00:42:01.080 your family members and old friends coming out of the woodwork to try to get right they feel
00:42:05.840 like they've they're maybe entitled because they're your family right you you owe them something and
00:42:10.660 you know it's a simply not the case and b especially because you know the role he played
00:42:16.480 in our life was nothing of significance like just truly you know uncle family gathering sure whatever
00:42:22.280 but i definitely don't think it it entitles you to anything and it's for the first time in my life
00:42:27.800 bro he crossed a line and he he asked uh he asked jake to buy him a truck like in full sincerity
00:42:35.340 he's like hey like and he's always like asking for stuff and and i had to check him i'm like
00:42:39.920 you know maybe calm down a little bit but it was the first time a family member was like hey man
00:42:45.500 like you're super rich and famous i'm your uncle how about you give me a truck just that's such a
00:42:52.680 straightforward question it is ask it like that that's such a dope i'm actually yo i actually
00:42:57.800 respect his kind of that's dope bro at least you're going for it because beating around the
00:43:01.080 bush is almost more passive and whack and for sure like creates more you know awkward moments
00:43:06.040 it's the juxtaposition of those two things like i know you buy me a truck like though that's dope 0.96
00:43:12.300 to me yeah there's a power move in that but so so in real life dude that's pathetic yeah it's 0.95
00:43:19.020 pathetic and it's sad can he afford a truck or did he just want a better truck he can afford a 0.99
00:43:23.680 truck, dude. He's got like six. He owns 1.00
00:43:25.540 a truck lot.
00:43:26.980 He owns the Chevy dealer.
00:43:29.380 I'll read it.
00:43:31.540 I'll read it to you. Congrats on your
00:43:33.560 new Ferraris. This was to Jake. He bought
00:43:35.620 two. I told him I was fucking stupid. Was there a 1.00
00:43:37.660 deal or he just bought two? No deal. He bought two.
00:43:39.740 Awesome. May I ask one thing from you, but only
00:43:41.660 because I'm not rich and you make more money while shitting 0.99
00:43:43.680 than I do all year? Will you buy me a newer 0.99
00:43:45.500 model used truck? Mine died. Thanks, Jake.
00:43:47.900 Wishing you the best and I want you to thank you again for the
00:43:49.600 tickets to your fight. That was so much fun.
00:43:51.440 I mean, hey, man.
00:43:53.680 Should we just get him a truck, then? 1.00
00:43:55.160 Shoot your shot. 1.00
00:43:56.040 Shoot your shot. 1.00
00:43:56.640 That wasn't that bad. 0.99
00:43:57.820 I thought it was kind of, like, worse.
00:43:59.060 And he asked for a used car.
00:44:00.220 But he asked through text, man.
00:44:02.160 If you're going to ask for a big favor, it's got to be over the phone.
00:44:05.100 I'm old school.
00:44:06.240 See, that's where I think he lost us with the insincerity of what he wants.
00:44:10.820 It's not even like a, hey, man, how are you?
00:44:13.000 Like, let's sit down.
00:44:14.400 Let's go grab dinner.
00:44:14.980 I'm your uncle.
00:44:15.420 You're my nephew.
00:44:16.600 Like, it was just like a, hey, man, you're rich.
00:44:18.260 Can you give me a truck because I'm related to you?
00:44:20.080 You just turned him into a weavy arm inflatable arm.
00:44:22.200 Hey, man, I'm rich.
00:44:23.540 if that guy did in all fairness go into a person it sounds like it would be your uncle yeah
00:44:28.060 but you have to read the room man and those types of conversations got to be in person and even if
00:44:33.740 you're trying to get a dinner going first and then you're like oh i'll bring it up at the dinner 0.73
00:44:37.260 then fucking don't do that because then you're gonna think oh he just asked us to go to dinner 0.97
00:44:41.360 so we could ask for something it's like it's got to be at a fucking fun you know maybe you're at 1.00
00:44:45.320 dave and buster's you're about to fucking you know you went back to the same machine you know big 0.98
00:44:49.620 style just for nostalgia purposes 0.99
00:44:51.460 and he's like dude this is crazy man 0.99
00:44:53.140 remember that girl that fucking what was her name again 1.00
00:44:55.420 man she used to drive a truck didn't she 1.00
00:44:57.580 man I would love a truck 1.00
00:44:58.880 find a way to organically bring it up
00:45:01.860 or gamify it even
00:45:04.620 like yo if you hit this next shot Uncle Jim
00:45:06.820 like I'll buy you a truck
00:45:07.980 I'll do that all the time
00:45:10.120 I do that all the time
00:45:11.640 I was getting drunk with some
00:45:14.800 strangers at the airport and I was like hey
00:45:16.380 thousand bucks each of you if you can guess
00:45:18.660 why i'm going to oregon you get one guys they didn't get it right guess we're in oregon guess
00:45:22.240 why i'm going to oregon they didn't get it right but i play these games all the time i gamify 0.99
00:45:25.840 everything have you videotaped that that's a great fucking like now i do shit for fun i just do shit 0.95
00:45:30.820 i know you do but that is a great like me and my friends game show prank thing in airport bars by 0.99
00:45:36.000 the way is an untapped like i'm also an airport bar drinker not you know within reason but like
00:45:41.480 dude if like again it's got to be i'm sure those people you were drinking with turned it up a notch
00:45:45.820 because you sat down with them right they were not drinking and then afterwards they were drinking
00:45:49.680 probably you know what it is that about the experience of having to deal with your of losing 0.99
00:45:54.220 a thousand dollars they didn't have like fuck this plane's going down our luck sucks you know 0.98
00:45:59.420 what it is and do you ever watch insomniac with david tell that was a show where david tell would 0.99
00:46:05.320 go around it was on comedy central when comedy central was truly just doing you know comedy shows
00:46:09.220 and he would go around late night all around the country to bars and do man on the street shit but 0.92
00:46:14.100 be funny and just 0.99
00:46:15.220 kick it in all these
00:46:17.840 dive bars, bigger bars around the country 1.00
00:46:20.000 and fuck around with fucked up people 1.00
00:46:21.920 and drink with them and make jokes and roast them. 1.00
00:46:24.580 There's a version of that.
00:46:25.520 That's awesome. 1.00
00:46:26.100 But also, not everything has to be taped, so fuck me. 0.99
00:46:30.080 I'm on that now, bro. Dude, today I discovered 0.99
00:46:32.060 Mike is a... I knew he was old
00:46:33.860 and now I know he's creepy, dude.
00:46:35.920 Is Mike? Yeah, he's a pervert. 1.00
00:46:37.900 36. That's old? 0.99
00:46:39.480 Bro, he walked?
00:46:41.020 Is it?
00:46:41.860 Compared to me, I'm 39, baby. 0.96
00:46:43.340 We're the same gen, I think
00:46:47.500 What are we, all millennials?
00:46:49.780 We are
00:46:50.020 It is weird, my 7 year old nephew, I told him I was turning 39
00:46:53.000 He was like, you're gonna die soon 1.00
00:46:54.100 You ain't getting a fucking truck from me 1.00
00:46:59.020 You ain't getting a birthday, kid 1.00
00:47:01.100 I'm gonna murder you 1.00
00:47:02.100 He's a little goof, man 1.00
00:47:03.320 He'll dry hump the couch, which is hilarious 1.00
00:47:05.280 Again, pervert, not a goof 0.99
00:47:07.360 Totally, but he'll look at me dead in the eyes 1.00
00:47:09.260 With a big goofy smile
00:47:10.200 So I'm like, dude
00:47:12.860 like two more seconds and I'm gonna have to sign something I feel like you know but he I'm sorry
00:47:17.340 just reiterating your nephew yeah will dry hump a couch while making direct eye contact yeah because
00:47:22.580 he thinks it's funny because he sees how uncomfortable I get and it makes him laugh 0.61
00:47:25.520 well dogs do it does he want to be a comic like you I think so he's a he takes the piss out of
00:47:29.540 himself real hard yeah dogs do it that's a great point what's that does he do that in school no
00:47:34.220 he's clean school he's a I mean he's you know he'll hopefully be an athlete I think you I now
00:47:39.060 get why parents put all those eggs in that basket
00:47:40.900 because like you know he'll also head
00:47:43.140 butt the fridge so you're like alright this kid
00:47:45.200 is probably not gonna you know go to Harvard
00:47:47.040 for you know anything
00:47:48.940 yeah so hopefully it's the professional
00:47:51.100 athlete but he's he's a freak of nature on
00:47:53.100 the head when it comes to sports
00:47:54.580 that's the prereqs these days for the
00:47:57.140 for the football team at high school
00:47:58.380 it says here he humps the pillow in front of others
00:48:01.080 will make him direct eye contact 1.00
00:48:02.380 smashes his fucking dome into the refrigerator 1.00
00:48:04.800 he runs a 4-2-40 1.00
00:48:06.820 He can come on a futon in under eight seconds
00:48:09.460 You're like, alright, I don't know if that's a stat
00:48:10.900 While looking at his uncle
00:48:12.000 While using solely his uncle as the inspiration
00:48:15.400 Does it blink?
00:48:17.060 Weird
00:48:17.500 Weird criteria
00:48:19.220 Boy, the NFL's changed
00:48:20.500 Somebody get Gadella on the phone, man
00:48:22.360 What's happening over there?
00:48:23.500 Used to not even be able to smoke weed in the NFL
00:48:25.340 Now they want you to hump a pillow and look at your uncle
00:48:27.940 Who you won't buy a truck for 0.99
00:48:30.280 Fucking 40 Dash 0.99
00:48:31.580 How long does it take you to nut on a futon? 0.99
00:48:33.800 Oh man, that's so funny
00:48:35.560 I think this nephew of yours, it sounds like he'd get along well with Mike.
00:48:39.520 I was in my shower today. 0.98
00:48:41.000 This is why I called him a pervert. 0.93
00:48:42.760 You know, minding my own business. 0.77
00:48:44.000 Last thing I expect is to be put on YouTube while I'm in my shower.
00:48:47.820 What'd you put on?
00:48:48.820 Nothing.
00:48:49.180 I'm in my shower.
00:48:49.920 Gotcha.
00:48:50.700 And Mike comes in.
00:48:52.060 He goes, knock, knock. 0.99
00:48:53.180 At first, I'm like, who the fuck is here? 0.99
00:48:54.560 No one lives in this house anymore. 0.99
00:48:55.860 Literally, there's no one here.
00:48:57.100 And I couldn't tell it was Mike.
00:48:58.160 And so I hid behind the wall, you know, covered me junk.
00:49:00.640 And it was Mike.
00:49:01.220 And he just got this weird grin on his face.
00:49:03.420 I'm like what's going on
00:49:05.620 Sure enough
00:49:07.520 David the German videographer
00:49:09.720 With a rig 1.00
00:49:10.840 I'm like get the fuck out of here 1.00
00:49:13.100 I'm showering and they're pointing at my penis 1.00
00:49:14.880 Zooming in and stuff 1.00
00:49:15.940 We had to use a pretty big zoom
00:49:18.960 Now what are you going to use this for
00:49:21.360 That's my question why
00:49:23.220 We exploit each other's privacy
00:49:27.060 Gotcha
00:49:27.520 But never in my house
00:49:29.920 While I'm not doing YouTube
00:49:31.280 In the shower
00:49:33.220 In the shower for your content is endless.
00:49:35.480 Bro, when we live together, we're roommates.
00:49:37.680 Dude, no one lives at that house now.
00:49:40.180 I can't be a roommate with someone.
00:49:41.440 You don't live there.
00:49:42.060 I'd love to be your roommate.
00:49:43.240 I'm going to be the middle friend here, and I think what Mike did is totally fine.
00:49:45.680 Thank you.
00:49:47.340 I'm not even going to use it.
00:49:48.740 Well, yeah.
00:49:49.180 He told me to replace his body with a...
00:49:52.000 Oh, that's funny.
00:49:53.640 With like a centaur?
00:49:54.480 No. 0.93
00:49:55.000 I want to be a censored block man.
00:49:58.380 My whole body is like a block censored person.
00:50:01.120 Why not?
00:50:01.680 Yeah.
00:50:01.940 You got the means to do it.
00:50:03.220 There is probably, it goes out the window, privacy, right?
00:50:06.040 With what you guys are doing.
00:50:06.940 No, no, that's what I'm here to tell you.
00:50:08.400 No.
00:50:08.820 Because I've never.
00:50:09.540 Bro, come on.
00:50:10.120 Well, we've gotten into some huge battles about the privacy thing.
00:50:13.060 Bro, he's.
00:50:13.420 We've gotten into some huge battles about it.
00:50:15.940 Yeah.
00:50:16.380 Boo.
00:50:17.060 Yeah.
00:50:17.860 Because people want, you've given them an access, right?
00:50:20.760 Into like what you're doing, your life and all that.
00:50:22.520 And now it's like, as the fans, they're probably like, well, you don't get to decide now what's
00:50:27.500 too much.
00:50:27.760 My only rebuttal would be is, Adam, I'm not doing that anymore. 0.98
00:50:31.100 I haven't made a YouTube video in fucking months. 0.96
00:50:32.920 I think I put out like three this year 0.98
00:50:34.940 I am not doing YouTube besides this
00:50:37.860 Well yeah, you're not, but I am
00:50:39.600 Yeah, but I need my content 1.00
00:50:41.580 Hey man, if you don't want your dick to be videotaped 1.00
00:50:44.920 Don't have a dick 1.00
00:50:45.680 Yeah, that's where I'm at 1.00
00:50:46.960 That's where I'm at
00:50:48.140 That's where I'm at
00:50:51.200 Don't take showers
00:50:53.080 By the way
00:50:53.580 I didn't consider that
00:50:57.580 You make a good argument, man
00:51:00.500 He gets final review on all my
00:51:02.240 Well that's good
00:51:03.200 As long as I'm a block censored man
00:51:05.320 That's what he told me
00:51:06.020 And by the way 0.98
00:51:06.480 Don't fuck it up dude 0.89
00:51:07.960 It's really funny 0.95
00:51:08.700 I'm either gonna say
00:51:09.540 That's it or it's not
00:51:10.580 And you will 0.98
00:51:11.200 Abide by what block man
00:51:14.680 I wanna be 1.00
00:51:15.240 My dick 1.00
00:51:15.480 My decisions 1.00
00:51:16.200 That's right 1.00
00:51:16.720 My dick 0.99
00:51:17.300 No but honestly 1.00
00:51:18.560 But honestly
00:51:20.060 That's a t-shirt too 1.00
00:51:20.920 My dick my decisions 1.00
00:51:22.120 You know what I 1.00
00:51:22.960 Oh my god
00:51:23.700 That would not
00:51:24.320 That t-shirt would not work
00:51:25.420 Yeah it wouldn't probably
00:51:26.020 Spencer's gifts would probably
00:51:27.240 Oh yeah
00:51:27.720 They might go 1.00
00:51:28.260 Oh man oh shit 1.00
00:51:29.440 I didn't even think about it 0.99
00:51:30.200 In the bad way
00:51:30.780 Yeah
00:51:31.100 yeah that's terrible no but i mean someone would wear it oh i see so when you think about it in
00:51:35.900 real life it actually is not good yeah that's i we have the rule of thumb it's kind of like it's
00:51:41.100 better to ask for forgiveness than permission 1000 yeah well you know once again that one's
00:51:45.900 applicable to only certain situations yeah it's so so great example that my um my buddy brad
00:51:51.380 williams who's a little person we got to play in the nba celebrity all-star game 2019 right in
00:51:55.180 charlotte and so uh brad being uh a dwarf we were like all right we got to do some sort of we're
00:52:00.000 doing um a podcast he's since left i'm still doing it about last night check it out and so he uh he's 0.88
00:52:06.360 like we should do some sort of stunt with me obviously take advantage of fucking having a 0.79
00:52:10.240 dwarf in the game there's never been one and so i buy online this thing called like a piggyback and 0.90
00:52:14.060 it's basically for dads that are going camping and there's like a bar in the back it's like a
00:52:17.500 backpack i know what it is i bought one for my roommate as well a thousand percent kids can stand
00:52:20.900 on the bar and they put their hands on their dad or mom's shoulders and uh and you know get a nice 0.97
00:52:24.740 little stroll through the woods and so I take a video of us doing it I hit up Sue Bird who was
00:52:30.280 our coach and I was like hey I got this thing what do you think about us wearing it like calling a
00:52:33.780 timeout me walking out with Brad on my shoulders for a defensive stance she's like hilarious
00:52:37.320 and then I was like I should probably run it by the NBA which was my first mistake so I sent
00:52:42.660 them this video they're like absolutely not hard pass I'm like why not they're like what if you
00:52:46.900 drop them I go it'll be hilarious and they're like we don't have dwarf insurance I'm like I
00:52:50.820 don't know that was a real thing you should for sure get that yeah they didn't say that but we 0.94
00:52:54.940 just cough in my face what's that well it's because he wanted to avoid the mic it's a pot
00:52:59.220 it's got my fourth shot but they uh yeah they definitely were like you can't uh you can't do
00:53:04.420 that and everybody afterwards like you should have just done it and then been like sorry well
00:53:09.460 that's indeed by the way because what would they have done stop the whole game i walk out with them
00:53:13.640 like in in the context of pushing cut in the context of pushing the boundary a little bit
00:53:18.360 for content i will most times ask for forgiveness unless there's some sort of ongoing
00:53:23.380 circumstance that needs to not fall apart right i want to ask something because you know comedians
00:53:29.000 in general how i believe have a platform to be a bit little bit more risque than the average
00:53:33.660 artist uh because you know you can always fall back into the guise that it's a joke
00:53:37.940 um but also like yeah you should know i think innately any uh comedian is saying something for
00:53:46.500 the laugh right not like even people at chapelle and burr's level who to me are the goats like uh
00:53:53.480 you know they're trying they're trying to be funny they're trying to they're going what sounds the
00:53:57.860 funny like what is the funniest to them and sounds funny it's like they're they have mastered doing
00:54:03.440 it in a way where you're gonna get the laugh totally you know what i'm saying and a lot of
00:54:08.360 comedians especially and i i you know go to george's uh set sometimes and there'll be comedians
00:54:13.800 Who are still practicing amateurs
00:54:15.400 If you will come before him
00:54:16.560 And they'll try the dark comedy
00:54:18.320 And the joke's not funny
00:54:19.640 Because the delivery's wrong
00:54:20.620 And now you just said 1.00
00:54:21.220 Some real fucked up shit 1.00
00:54:22.140 Right 1.00
00:54:22.400 Have you said something
00:54:23.420 Where you're like
00:54:23.840 Ooh I botched that
00:54:25.400 And now like
00:54:26.020 I went too
00:54:27.180 Because you're risque dude
00:54:29.440 A little bit yeah
00:54:30.080 And especially
00:54:30.840 When you're performing in LA
00:54:32.120 Right
00:54:32.580 I imagine the reactions
00:54:33.920 To some risque jokes
00:54:35.220 Totally
00:54:35.620 Aren't the same as
00:54:36.480 When you're in Wisconsin
00:54:37.220 Totally
00:54:37.840 I think your intention's
00:54:39.340 Gotta be there
00:54:39.920 I think things can get taken
00:54:41.600 Out of context
00:54:43.060 people are I think listening for like trigger words in certain uh instances more than like the 0.81
00:54:48.160 actual content so that can get you in trouble but like as long as shit's not getting like really
00:54:53.900 videotaped I also just know what I'm saying usually I feel like I got a pretty good grasp
00:54:58.460 of like what's coming into my head I guess doing crowd work is where it's up to there might be more
00:55:03.440 opportunity for something to go off the rails because I'm truly just trying to be in the moment
00:55:07.720 And listen and respond
00:55:09.260 But like even in Fort Lauderdale
00:55:11.780 This last weekend there was this really 1.00
00:55:13.120 Sweet sassy black woman 1.00
00:55:15.160 And she was making some comments 1.00
00:55:17.540 And then I was firing back
00:55:19.480 About how what she was saying
00:55:21.280 About what I was wearing was way cooler
00:55:23.140 Than the white guy version of me describing it 1.00
00:55:25.720 And how I wanted the sassy black woman 1.00
00:55:27.520 To be like narrating my day 1.00
00:55:28.840 And then we like had this whole back and forth
00:55:31.060 That was really great
00:55:31.780 And there was a time I remember
00:55:33.180 Where I'd be on stage and if I had that thought 0.76
00:55:35.840 I'd be like oh you can't say sassy black woman 0.88
00:55:37.620 You know what I'm saying? Just because of 1.00
00:55:39.140 Feeling not comfortable enough in knowing
00:55:41.640 My intention or that I was
00:55:43.620 Going to make it funny so I don't really feel
00:55:45.720 That now but I also I'm not up
00:55:47.680 There trying to divide the audience
00:55:49.860 Actively
00:55:50.240 It comes from dark places
00:55:52.480 It's called a joke for a reason when you go to open mics
00:55:55.640 Bro you hear jokes that are like
00:55:57.020 Whoa bro like I can't believe this dude said that
00:55:59.780 And then it just comes back to the day
00:56:01.800 And age like bro when all these 0.99
00:56:03.700 Comedians have gone through some shit 0.86
00:56:05.440 to be this type of way and funny trumps everything it's like just like you were saying some people do 0.97
00:56:10.980 just get off on the shock value stuff and there's even professional comics uh that are crushing it
00:56:16.220 that that have a piece of that to what they're doing where they're just like oh this is going
00:56:19.540 to elicit a response you know i just i just think like to his point it comes back to how funny was
00:56:25.800 the joke right so like because because we we've i feel like we've talked about this with a with a
00:56:30.460 comedian on the show before but what happens is you get a lot of these like amateurs and then all
00:56:34.780 the way down to like tiktok comments nowadays where everybody somebody's you know make a video
00:56:39.660 about their mom dying and somebody inevitably in the comments will be like have some something to
00:56:45.000 say right that they think is funny right until what they say is just not funny at all and they
00:56:50.220 go back to the old adage it was just a joke man like i did it for comedy but it wasn't funny yeah
00:56:55.940 so so my advice to people has always been yo if you're gonna make a dark joke that is gonna is
00:57:01.240 shock valued like crazy 1.00
00:57:03.120 that motherfucker better hit 1.00
00:57:04.960 and better hit hard and every 1.00
00:57:07.140 single person that hears that joke better be laughing
00:57:09.240 like it seems like shock
00:57:10.980 comedy is not the place to be testing
00:57:13.340 on the main stage like nail 0.99
00:57:15.220 that fucking joke make sure 0.99
00:57:17.300 that every single person is gonna 0.99
00:57:18.780 double over because if you're
00:57:21.400 I mean especially very timely 0.97
00:57:23.520 shit that just happened that people are still 0.95
00:57:25.480 coming to terms with and 0.75
00:57:27.180 processing and it has to do with like
00:57:29.040 that kind of very dark matter
00:57:30.940 not dark matter of course because we don't know much about that but
00:57:33.940 but that's been off podcast
00:57:36.040 but yo but yo if you're in the tiktok comments making unfunny jokes talk about dark matter 0.97
00:57:43.580 does it matter um is it real is it real are they trying to make the frogs gay yeah the frogs gay 0.98
00:57:49.280 with that ribbit sounded real effeminate ribbit's code for cock yeah so um i do think it's also 0.98
00:57:55.220 interesting when you have people that aren't comics throwing hail marys on first down on in
00:58:01.260 the comment section it's like why no one's coming to you like i was at a wedding like i don't know
00:58:06.380 pre-covid a few months before covid uh went down and uh one of my buddies uh uh mutual friend of
00:58:13.240 the guy getting married and i've known this guy for for a hot minute was the best man and he's
00:58:16.640 like can i run some jokes by you for the uh for my best man speech and i already was just like
00:58:20.540 i can already tell lee that these are going to be horrendous and offensive and i'm here for it dude
00:58:25.800 what do you got and he had this joke about like about um our buddy like his mom like blowing one 0.90
00:58:32.300 of them at a party and there was just no joke it was a weird fucked up story being like and that's 0.91
00:58:37.760 when she sucked out cocks and everyone was like and i was like dude don't tell this joke he goes 0.98
00:58:43.060 it's funny right he goes you're a comedian though come on you gotta help me out i go no no no i'm 1.00
00:58:47.340 telling you as a comic first of all yes do i want to see you go up there and just fucking bomb and 0.98
00:58:53.600 you know arguably ruin a chunk of the wedding absolutely absolutely dude as a fan of just 0.97
00:58:58.580 great live moments in life thousand percent i'm here for this but you know i love mike i think
00:59:03.600 you're you know just definitely call an audible on this and he did some version of it and he just 0.89
00:59:08.620 was like nah i think it's funny and i'm like lee no one's going to you for the fucking no one's 0.94
00:59:13.960 gonna be like dude least speech wasn't that funny and he's like why not i go because you're not funny 0.99
00:59:18.020 and he was like fuck dude i was like you're not not funny you're just in this moment no one's 0.98
00:59:22.960 gonna be expecting you to be coming going hard in the paint with the jokes be sincere you know 0.99
00:59:28.020 open with a joke you know there's and again it's a reading the room situation but he went for it
00:59:33.180 and dude it was like weird oh yeah a version of it and i remember sitting there just being like
00:59:37.900 and i get it was one of those great like he did it crickets and then i just go and he looked at
00:59:43.100 me and he was like i was like no dude i wasn't laughing because it went great i was laughing 0.89
00:59:48.100 because you fucking rolled the dice i i i have to i have to be honest big time he's like as 0.99
00:59:53.000 fuck it was red or black and you you put 40 on magenta you know what i'm saying yeah 1.00
00:59:57.520 who's uh the story intrigues me so the so mike's mom sucked one of your friend's dicks i mean this 1.00
01:00:04.880 was a made-up story that he thought it was funny yeah yeah it was something about her being like 0.98
01:00:09.980 a cool mom which she definitely
01:00:11.960 is you know but I didn't grow up with him I went to
01:00:13.800 college with my buddy Mike so but Lee's story
01:00:16.020 was like in high school she was the you know
01:00:18.000 so it was already just like
01:00:19.620 where was this that
01:00:21.800 Agoura Hills and the cool moms 1.00
01:00:23.980 out there just sucked their kids dicks that's what he 1.00
01:00:25.740 no she didn't at all that sounds cool though 1.00
01:00:27.840 but it does sound cool by the way we
01:00:29.920 all wish we knew that mom right
01:00:31.600 did you have a mom growing up
01:00:33.340 because because like
01:00:35.800 George if you can get out of here that'd be awesome
01:00:37.140 They have a chili festival out there
01:00:40.420 And I thought it was like
01:00:41.760 The people that made the chili were cool 1.00
01:00:43.160 But evidently they got moms just fucking blown 1.00
01:00:45.520 Do not skip over that 0.98
01:00:46.720 People who make chili for a living are very cool
01:00:48.500 You like chili?
01:00:49.860 It's okay
01:00:50.320 You eat cereal?
01:00:52.520 Love cereal
01:00:53.280 Top three
01:00:54.620 Man I'd say go to
01:00:57.240 When I was truly roughing it
01:00:59.800 Frosted Flakes
01:01:02.520 I used to sing in my head instead of
01:01:04.440 They're great I'm sad
01:01:06.760 As I would take a spoonful 0.99
01:01:08.000 Tony the Tiger was a fucking hero to me man 0.99
01:01:10.360 Leaning into the depression 0.99
01:01:11.400 I'd like to know what your second favorite cereal is
01:01:13.240 Cinnamon Toast Crunch
01:01:20.020 Yeah way to go
01:01:20.660 I think for sure
01:01:21.380 I think for sure
01:01:22.920 Yeah
01:01:23.700 I think more often than not 1.00
01:01:25.780 Historically gals have cut my hair 1.00
01:01:27.200 Really? 1.00
01:01:27.700 Currently
01:01:28.000 I got a buddy of mine
01:01:30.400 It's become a good bud
01:01:31.140 That cuts
01:01:31.520 Cuts the hair appropriately
01:01:33.320 Yeah
01:01:33.640 I did
01:01:34.760 I went to Floyd's once
01:01:36.000 i'd say two years after i graduated and this gal was uh not in a good mood and i even said like 1.00
01:01:43.580 she yanked my head at one point because i like and kind of let my head dip a little and she like 1.00
01:01:48.360 yanked it and she goes don't fucking move well and i was like oh yeah and i just i well i got 0.76
01:01:53.760 and i go i go oh i go maybe this is not the day to hold scissors in people's heads huh so that 0.95
01:01:59.960 as like a joke and she goes i'm fine and i was like yeah you're not so let's maybe let's reconvene
01:02:06.920 the schedule so i just but i felt so awkward and vulnerable to be like i'd never been in a position
01:02:12.280 where i was like should i irish could buy a haircut so i'm just like she'll probably calm down right 0.99
01:02:17.100 like she seems cool that she's got tattoos wearing floyds they got you know they're playing fucking 1.00
01:02:21.620 you know mumford and sons and so uh it's always a sign of a good time and um and then she just got 1.00
01:02:27.240 real aggressive and she did like a couple aggressive like on the side of my head i walk
01:02:32.620 over she's like all right we're done she goes get up and i was like i go i gotta be honest i go i
01:02:37.740 don't know yet what my hair uh fully looks like um because i'm facing back from the mirror i go
01:02:43.160 but this is one of and i'll say this is the most polite way i can uh worst experiences i've had
01:02:49.440 as an adult not even in a not even a barber shop just as a being alive like i'm going back to like 0.65
01:02:56.060 my bar mitzvah when i fucked up a little hebrew but like this is this takes this is at the top 0.83
01:03:00.680 right now so congrats i guess wow and then i go to the front and i told lady i was like i um 0.88
01:03:06.000 i was like look i don't even know i was like i probably shouldn't pay for this but i'm going to
01:03:09.820 and i'm actually even going to tip her more because i feel like she's having a bad day but
01:03:13.580 maybe and i'm benefit the doubt i feel like is always a home run way to go in most instances
01:03:18.700 you know so that you can kind of like you know manage your own uh heat that's bubbling and so 0.96
01:03:23.260 she's like uh she looks at me i put my hat on at that point and i was like but i'm gonna give her
01:03:28.680 a little bit more but i feel like you should maybe talk to her because she probably shouldn't
01:03:31.180 be holding scissors yeah and she just goes uh she goes i bet it's fine and i take my hat off
01:03:35.640 and i go is it and her face i will never unsee it seeing the woman who's like the cashier to like 0.99
01:03:41.840 close everyone out she looks at me and just goes whoop she said oh just made a noise looking at my
01:03:48.040 head and so i went home that night this is when myspace was still clicking this probably 2006 0.86
01:03:51.200 a year after I graduated and I went online and made some stupid video just ranting and riffing 0.93
01:03:56.020 about my uh my poor cut and uh and it circulated enough to where like the head of Floyd's hit me 0.62
01:04:01.960 up on MySpace got that message that little red notification and he was like hey man saw your 0.81
01:04:07.600 video so fucked up let me know who that was and where it was and we will take care of that also 0.74
01:04:12.820 would like to offer you like three months free haircuts and I was like bro appreciate the sentiment 0.99
01:04:17.760 but you're offering what was the problem in the first place it's like you go to a strip club you 0.95
01:04:23.040 know i'm saying and and you know you end up getting fucking pink eye and she calls you up 0.94
01:04:27.080 she's like i'd love to give you cancer too you're like that's not how this works bambi but so so i 0.95
01:04:31.880 was like i respectfully gonna say no thanks to the haircuts and he was like you got he kept 0.70
01:04:35.940 hounding me he's like you gotta let me know who it was i gotta like get to the bottom of this i was
01:04:39.280 like again i think she just maybe bad cut i don't want to get her fired but um anyway who you guys
01:04:44.760 voting for now i don't feel so weird about my question you ever just go with the story way
01:04:48.520 too long what was your question mike now i don't feel so weird about my question that i have yeah
01:04:52.380 did you expect that answer yes yeah great great uh look i got a question for you man you told me
01:04:59.200 last night that uh you had a story behind the uh the cast oh you won't tell it you told me you'd 0.99
01:05:04.800 save it for the pod but dude i guess oh you're a liar you did say i guess i guess he was fucked 0.97
01:05:08.660 up because he's all that's all he does now he gets could you tell by the way no you can keep it 0.99
01:05:12.440 clean yeah what's your drink of choice vodka good for you always keep that weight down right yeah i
01:05:17.400 don't know what what if that's fun it's good it's clean it's clean it gives me the like tequila or
01:05:22.420 is that just a little bit too much of an upper no i i i do not like the taste of tequila and it
01:05:26.960 gives me hung over you know oh for two you know i was about to see if you wanted to go uh halfsies
01:05:31.840 on a tequila company i was gonna start tonight sure yeah fine called um jeff's truck i don't
01:05:38.180 I actually would buy that
01:05:43.440 I actually would buy that
01:05:44.960 I do want to ask you because
01:05:46.940 I hadn't seen you
01:05:48.820 I saw you before the fight
01:05:50.400 and now last night I think was the
01:05:53.080 and I'm sure you guys have talked about it
01:05:54.980 in grave detail
01:05:56.620 but how much
01:05:58.420 just straight up simple answer
01:06:00.860 how fun was it 0.99
01:06:02.300 because when you were fucking going at it dude 0.98
01:06:04.860 it was like 0.99
01:06:05.600 I've never it was almost like I felt like I was a little kid watching uh you know somebody gets
01:06:12.380 like Ken Griffey Jr. you know for for for being from Seattle getting called up to the majors right
01:06:16.400 and just being fucking big smile the whole time and then that ends up being his thing through his
01:06:21.100 whole career and you're like whoa I feel like I don't see this from guys like this who are truly 0.93
01:06:26.200 like I'm pumped to be here I'm soaking it up I'm all business but I'm like not letting the moment
01:06:32.720 be lost on me yeah i caught like you know quite a few waves of that i thought that was really cool
01:06:37.740 and i don't know if that was i feel like that's a part of just who you are but also how tough is
01:06:42.560 that there's a lot of questions coming here how tough is it how tough is it to um to maintain
01:06:48.140 that level of like i guess this is why i'm here is to to have fun and to you know do something
01:06:54.140 special and to you know as you you know said in your post game like inspire some people how much
01:06:58.580 of that can you actually apply
01:07:00.480 mid-fight or is it once you see 0.99
01:07:02.460 Floyd are you just like I gotta kill
01:07:03.880 so no yeah full breakdown 0.99
01:07:06.040 I appreciate you observing that your
01:07:08.240 intuition is
01:07:10.080 spot on so I gotta take this
01:07:12.360 mom I'm so sorry why would anyone do that
01:07:14.620 I'm so sorry
01:07:16.460 for the joke man I'm so sorry
01:07:17.920 sorry dude I'm sorry 0.91
01:07:20.600 man I'm a dick keep going I really want to hear 0.69
01:07:22.540 the full answer I'll keep it short 0.98
01:07:24.180 it was the best experience of my life it was
01:07:26.480 the most fun I've ever had
01:07:28.440 in my life and i learned a lot about myself that night and and the most important thing that i 0.79
01:07:32.980 learned is that when i lead with fun i do well i'm not a uh i'm not a i'm gonna fucking like 0.87
01:07:38.900 murder you type of fighter or like just person um my brother is silent right bro when you're 0.97
01:07:44.380 fighting me when you're sparring me i'm fucking roasting you yeah i saw you were like chirping 0.99
01:07:49.800 like yeah fight the whole fight it's how i spar too and it fucks people up dude like i'm just i'm 0.99
01:07:55.080 Asshole in the ring 0.98
01:07:56.060 I'm bullying you physically and verbally 1.00
01:07:58.860 It's a head game too man 0.99
01:08:00.320 It fucks everyone up 0.99
01:08:02.660 And it fucked Floyd up bro 0.98
01:08:03.720 I'm talking it to him 0.79
01:08:05.480 Were you waving to the crowd
01:08:08.680 Or were you almost doing a cartoony
01:08:10.500 I was pointing
01:08:10.960 I did that for one part too
01:08:13.820 I did the wind up bro
01:08:16.060 That's what that was right
01:08:17.160 Oh man that was very funny 0.97
01:08:19.440 It was a good ass time 0.59
01:08:22.040 I can't believe that I fought Floyd Mayweather 0.97
01:08:26.460 That's insane
01:08:27.200 You can tell that you
01:08:28.020 Yeah, that was very genuine afterwards
01:08:30.240 It was good, bro
01:08:31.780 I'm dangerous when I'm just having fun
01:08:37.200 Because I don't care
01:08:40.240 I'm not tied to winning or losing
01:08:42.100 I just want to have fun
01:08:43.020 And when I have fun, I do well
01:08:44.480 What would you have done if you guys
01:08:47.520 Has there ever been this moment in boxing
01:08:50.000 Where like both guys hit each other at the same time
01:08:52.480 Almost like they're just 69ing 0.99
01:08:54.240 And they just fucking 1.00
01:08:54.900 You know what I'm saying 1.00
01:08:55.740 Like fist to fist
01:08:56.560 There's probably a better term for it
01:08:57.640 But it's like
01:08:58.140 Just fist
01:08:59.080 You know like you both just
01:09:00.000 And you go down at the same time
01:09:01.280 There have been those moments
01:09:02.460 Oh wow
01:09:02.920 If I ever fight Jake
01:09:03.960 I want that to happen
01:09:05.460 That'd be so cool
01:09:06.240 I want to knock
01:09:06.780 I want Jake and I to knock each other out 0.89
01:09:08.700 At the exact same time 1.00
01:09:10.080 The shit talking's probably extra special 1.00
01:09:12.860 If you fight your bro 0.99
01:09:13.560 Which is probably why I actually won't do it
01:09:15.460 Yeah
01:09:15.660 It's all fun and games
01:09:17.120 But uh
01:09:17.780 You just start laughing the way through
01:09:19.060 No it'd be
01:09:21.220 You could dial it up
01:09:22.000 It'd be violent
01:09:23.160 And oof
01:09:24.060 We've never sparred dude
01:09:25.040 That's the thing
01:09:25.620 And like he
01:09:26.400 He thinks I can beat him
01:09:27.580 And I think
01:09:27.940 Or he thinks
01:09:29.300 He can beat me
01:09:29.840 And I think I can beat him
01:09:30.680 Of course
01:09:31.180 And this is how it gets going man
01:09:33.100 Nah
01:09:33.540 It's too much
01:09:35.040 Are you watching
01:09:35.400 It's too much
01:09:36.020 Lifetime
01:09:36.540 Get in the game man
01:09:37.620 Shell out some cash
01:09:38.560 For this fight
01:09:39.220 Nah it's too much
01:09:40.080 I mean but maybe it's not 0.89
01:09:41.600 I don't fucking know bro 0.95
01:09:42.580 Great way to be with it 0.98
01:09:43.560 That's the answer
01:09:44.260 You know what I'm saying
01:09:44.740 Like time will tell
01:09:45.740 Also
01:09:46.200 Yeah who knows man
01:09:47.820 You just might be in a spot
01:09:48.920 Where I feel like it's got to
01:09:51.120 Like anything in life right
01:09:52.560 Like the moment's got to
01:09:53.500 It's got to manifest itself the correct way
01:09:56.640 I don't know
01:09:57.360 Do you have a girlfriend?
01:09:58.920 Fiance
01:09:59.200 Thank you bro
01:10:01.660 We've been dating for about
01:10:04.260 Four or five maybe
01:10:07.180 Did you lose hope as a younger person
01:10:10.160 You know late 20's early 30's
01:10:12.160 Were you like dude
01:10:13.020 How am I going to find the one
01:10:14.580 And did you compromise in a way
01:10:16.580 I actually was very set on being
01:10:18.580 Did you just ask him if he compromised?
01:10:19.840 Yeah, I did.
01:10:20.700 I did.
01:10:21.060 I want to know.
01:10:21.320 Yeah, he's going to say that.
01:10:22.340 Yeah, you know what? 0.99
01:10:23.120 I just decided to fucking. 0.99
01:10:24.080 I want to know. 0.99
01:10:25.020 I want to, like, bro, when I'm 38, if I'm like, well, I'm lonely, I guess I could maybe
01:10:29.460 not look for things that I normally would in a person because I'm lonely.
01:10:32.520 For sure.
01:10:33.120 Yeah.
01:10:33.440 Is that your sad, lonely voice?
01:10:34.740 I'm lonely.
01:10:35.420 Dude, I feel like, yeah.
01:10:36.400 What is it?
01:10:37.700 Do you cry at movies?
01:10:40.080 Pixar animated films.
01:10:41.660 Thank you.
01:10:42.100 Up destroys you, doesn't it?
01:10:43.660 Dude, come on.
01:10:44.020 I have a great story about that.
01:10:45.100 I didn't know that, dude.
01:10:46.080 Dude.
01:10:46.560 Wow.
01:10:47.080 The guy who-
01:10:48.580 I think so
01:10:50.080 I've said before
01:10:51.120 Pixar films 1.00
01:10:51.660 Fuck me up 1.00
01:10:52.860 But I want to know 1.00
01:10:54.940 What if you fought
01:10:55.840 The grandpa in Up 0.69
01:10:56.940 Like a guy dressed
01:10:59.020 As the grandpa in Up
01:10:59.940 Seems like abuse
01:11:01.360 Seems like abuse
01:11:03.520 But hey
01:11:04.080 I want to know
01:11:04.920 I'm a young lover myself
01:11:06.840 Single
01:11:07.620 Hopeless 0.68
01:11:08.100 You know I did
01:11:08.560 I did the long distance thing
01:11:09.860 A few times
01:11:10.480 Post college
01:11:11.640 And then 0.98
01:11:12.160 And that sucked 0.89
01:11:14.120 And then 0.82
01:11:15.300 And then date around
01:11:16.900 LA for a bit
01:11:18.340 and really just enjoyed that uh i guess that single life of the road and then being back in
01:11:24.780 la but i always it was always just you know and it's still been that way like career just taking
01:11:30.460 up so much that i i um you know uh just didn't put a lot of stake in like trying to i got very
01:11:37.120 comfortable being like you know what i'm just gonna be single and my buddies get married and
01:11:41.140 have kids and i was just like awesome for you but i'm so you know have tunnel vision for what i want
01:11:47.060 to do and I don't want to have anything not that you know a relationship holds you back uh you know
01:11:52.600 I think it you know should add to it but like I just was never in a space where I wanted to
01:11:56.960 and I because I had been in relationships where I'd worked to a point to where I
01:12:00.880 you know could um close out a show at the improv right and they were I'd be on that list where
01:12:05.120 they'd hit me up and be like yo we had a fallout come close this you know packed show out and you
01:12:09.780 know rose with a girl that was at like her friend's birthday party and she was like you're 0.92
01:12:13.900 gonna fucking leave and i was like yeah this is a huge fucking day like i gotta go and i've also 0.94
01:12:18.000 been here for two hours like what's another yeah like i've done my commitment to this like and and 0.98
01:12:22.580 and so having to pick and choose and wanting to just be full in all the time has been like a real
01:12:27.040 challenge for me to to find um someone that i don't mind taking nights off with and so now i
01:12:32.940 have so so you're still you know full on and is she understanding of that totally and loved it i
01:12:37.920 I mean, we met at a comedy club.
01:12:40.840 Her best friend was dating a friend of mine at the time
01:12:44.240 and brought her, and we just very eighth grade
01:12:46.620 kept in touch for a while before she moved here.
01:12:48.860 But she loves it.
01:12:49.600 I mean, she came to the show last night
01:12:51.740 and was geeking out that you were there.
01:12:53.700 Actually, she was geeking out when,
01:12:56.800 because she's 26, I'm 39,
01:12:58.420 and she saw you at the club and was like, 0.99
01:13:02.320 fucking Logan Paul's here. 1.00
01:13:03.560 And I was like, you trying to make me fucking nervous, bitch? 1.00
01:13:05.060 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:13:05.960 Trying to make me nervous, bitch? 1.00
01:13:06.880 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:13:07.400 But, yeah, she's all about it. 1.00
01:13:09.120 Love to come to every show, laughs as always.
01:13:11.280 She doesn't, like, give me tags and stuff,
01:13:12.600 but she definitely also isn't like a yes man.
01:13:15.080 She's not like, you know, well, you're a mate.
01:13:18.680 You know what I'm saying? 0.99
01:13:19.220 She's like, this joke sucks. 0.99
01:13:20.480 Yeah, or, like, it's funny, or do that, 0.99
01:13:22.340 or, like, just a good amount of support.
01:13:25.820 And also, you know, if I pick up a gig
01:13:27.820 or I'm going to do this,
01:13:29.360 it's made me also, too, be a lot more cognizant of, like,
01:13:32.940 because I am so go, go, go, of, like,
01:13:34.800 all right, because she's so cool about it,
01:13:37.020 go out of your way to find those times to
01:13:39.000 you know have a night
01:13:41.000 to you know just be
01:13:42.460 together and I know you're you know it sounds like 0.99
01:13:44.680 oh you just want one fucking night a year but 0.93
01:13:46.800 it's we find a good balance and now she's 0.98
01:13:48.880 got a cool job that she's into so that helps
01:13:50.520 but it's good to miss people man like being on the road
01:13:52.900 even for a weekend it does suck helps
01:13:54.600 yeah man distance you know
01:13:56.460 there it is
01:13:57.680 so
01:13:58.920 everyone was saying you weren't going to contribute today dude 0.99
01:14:02.820 but you came in hot right there who the fuck said that 0.97
01:14:04.920 a lot of people outside the building dude I think it was my 0.99
01:14:06.760 uber driver mainly but yeah she's she's 26 she's 26 and you're 39 yeah yeah we were talking about
01:14:12.860 this before we started podcasting today right i don't think that's weird at all no but when is
01:14:17.860 it weird how how young can a 39 year old date before it's like this is weird yeah i don't know
01:14:24.200 um well she's never not her i'm saying this is a general question so how if you were dating a 20
01:14:30.900 year old is that weird or a 19 year old is that weird like it's legal or even 18 is legal but
01:14:35.920 is that fucking weird dude yeah i mean i yeah it doesn't interest me it's weird right yeah 0.98
01:14:40.680 so what's the what is the i don't know i i mean it's almost like with i think the fuck i don't 0.99
01:14:46.880 know you know my my mom used to want me to be with a jewish girl so bad and then she just was like 0.96
01:14:52.160 and uh and now she's just like have somebody that you're you know connecting with and that you want 0.99
01:14:57.620 to laugh with and can still see yourself getting old with and all that um and so the religious
01:15:02.600 affiliation didn't matter as much she's like as long as you have that connection i feel like that
01:15:06.660 you know carries some value with the age thing but yeah i don't know man like yeah you have to be
01:15:11.900 able to have a conversation with the person right like when you get to that like 39 verse 19 i feel
01:15:16.600 like the conversation changes a lot but yeah we this society has like gotten to this point where
01:15:22.200 i think it always has been at the point where it's like oh there's got to be a cutoff somewhere
01:15:27.400 like a 39 year old that can only date to this to this age yeah and in la i've and i'm sure in new
01:15:34.460 york and other cities i've started to notice this phenomenon of it not being like the older guy
01:15:39.140 that's trying to find the younger girl it's the opposite oh yeah and you find these girls that 0.99
01:15:43.200 are 21 22 and they're already completely sick of 25 26 27 year old fuck boys and they want 0.99
01:15:50.620 a guy that wants to settle down or they want a guy that you know has life experience or they 0.99
01:15:55.660 want a guy that could teach them something or they want a guy that's financially capable of
01:15:59.080 all these different things and i think that you know also as a 36 year old single person and
01:16:04.860 someone that does date people majority mostly in their mid to mid-20s i would say you know i run
01:16:10.420 into that issue myself sometimes it's weird because you do have these girls that are looking
01:16:13.880 at it from the opposite side but they don't have a voice in the situation it seems like you know
01:16:18.080 i i i 100 agree i totally get that i i just where why i guess i think it's weird is because where
01:16:24.780 you started off is it's so hard for me to imagine a 39 year old having a like multiple prolonged
01:16:33.220 conversations with a 19 year old you're not even in the same you don't know you don't know 0.99
01:16:38.520 you don't know shit when you're 19 oh totally you know shit yeah like i don't know i don't care who 0.99
01:16:43.440 you are that's that's a you're a parcel of who you're gonna be you're tommy in it but tommy 1.00
01:16:47.560 knows something tommy knows a lot tommy knows i think not in a gross you know a lot more you
01:16:52.460 You're right there's a lack of
01:16:54.160 Perspective and just life experience
01:16:56.840 Like you cannot replace
01:16:58.800 Just like in stand-up
01:16:59.920 I'm like what is
01:17:02.340 What is the substance here
01:17:03.620 Dude sometimes it gets gnarly
01:17:06.220 I'm a 50, 60 year old billionaires
01:17:08.040 Oh dude I see them in shows
01:17:09.720 Where you're just like what is happening here
01:17:12.580 Man like how 1.00
01:17:14.160 Yeah fuck I don't know man 0.99
01:17:15.860 Occasionally I feel like you get these 1.00
01:17:17.900 You know these
01:17:19.160 Cause you are right and I think that's the
01:17:21.900 that that's the thread that passes through this entire conversation is your substance in life is
01:17:27.120 built off your life experience it's not about being able to make funny jokes it's not about
01:17:32.560 you know studying a lot in school and being a a you know a history buff right it's about it's 0.94
01:17:37.860 about going through shit that's what builds you that's what builds every fiber and every part of 0.85
01:17:42.560 you and so like when i i ask the question a lot to people like when i'm talking to somebody that's 0.99
01:17:46.880 18 or 20 i'm like what you been through what's what you been through you know i'm saying like
01:17:51.040 what's what was the hot what was the as opposed to like answers like well my dad's boat last week
01:17:55.980 was so there's this like our neighbors had this like titanic party and they had like they like
01:18:02.280 bought actual icebergs which is like why global warming which yeah whatever is like not happening
01:18:08.120 because like they bought the icebergs and my dad's boat ran into one which like he how is he 0.66
01:18:14.100 fucking supposed to know that i'm sorry do you have any coke like you know but there's yeah 0.88
01:18:18.680 correct so you're like well there's that version correct that's but that's what i'm saying like 0.98
01:18:22.140 it's like how much how much because that is also the fiber of building a rapport and relationship
01:18:26.480 i feel like it's something that people can really connect on yes oh you've you've made it through
01:18:30.840 this struggle i've made it through this struggle you know and and it creates a conversation it
01:18:34.500 creates depth and and all that stuff so to that point occasionally you find this 22 year old or 0.86
01:18:39.780 25 year old or whatever depending on what age you are thousand percent that's been fucking through
01:18:44.060 it and that's and they've and they've and they've you know they they dealt with trauma and this or 0.99
01:18:48.480 they dealt with that and they're able to talk from a place of fucking knowing and all of a sudden 0.70
01:18:52.080 you found a connection between with a four 13 year or 14 year age man you couldn't be do you 0.94
01:18:57.580 think it could be dangerous because if she's that young and you're like no by the way i'm not talking
01:19:01.920 about you yeah yeah i'm just saying in the situation if like mike was dating a 24 year old
01:19:05.860 23 year old or whatever even 21 right yeah um what if this is the case-by-case situation where
01:19:11.000 the girl is going to grow
01:19:12.500 and she's not going to be 1.00
01:19:13.640 the same woman
01:19:14.440 that she's going to be 0.98
01:19:14.980 in five years
01:19:15.600 and now you added
01:19:16.560 five years to your timeline
01:19:18.160 so it could be dangerous 0.94
01:19:19.480 dude my girl's
01:19:20.480 six years younger than me 1.00
01:19:21.360 I didn't even want to date her 1.00
01:19:22.660 because of that
01:19:23.080 because I was like 0.99
01:19:23.440 fuck dude 0.99
01:19:23.800 she's not even developed yet 1.00
01:19:25.140 until I got to know her history 0.80
01:19:27.340 and who she was
01:19:28.060 I was like oh this girl
01:19:28.680 is more grown up than me
01:19:29.640 totally man
01:19:30.300 well that's how it is for me as well
01:19:31.500 I feel like she's more mature
01:19:32.380 than I am
01:19:32.820 but like the life experience thing
01:19:34.180 we kind of meet in the middle
01:19:35.060 you know
01:19:35.360 and it's just like you said Mike
01:19:36.480 like she's had enough
01:19:38.120 that we've you know
01:19:39.360 found through just
01:19:40.020 you know getting to know each other
01:19:40.900 more that uh is also relatable that i've gone through like whether it's family stuff or you
01:19:46.220 know relationship stuff and uh had she not had a handful of of relationships prior i probably
01:19:51.500 wouldn't have been as confident in being like okay cool then she's but it's like you know all ready
01:19:56.340 for for this type of a commitment but um but all about it and also you just find these people and
01:20:01.340 this is why fucking life is crazy like that where you go you know uh had no clue that we would be 0.81
01:20:06.540 that like just on the same page and that she'd be that like you know i think i was a breath of 0.99
01:20:12.120 fresh air you know versus what she'd been uh used to and and and just found in her whether it was
01:20:18.060 line of work or um you know uh the freeway she was you know sleeping next to no that's sad 0.62
01:20:23.960 just immediately i love i love i love when women are uh good at being companions or like a girl
01:20:36.520 or a partner like some some are like significantly and noticeably better at being
01:20:41.660 you're you're with you you know you're you're your counterpart and it's so identifiable um
01:20:49.120 and for me like uncommon yeah male not uncommon it's just it's rare right and that's that's where
01:20:54.920 the girlfriends come and that's where you get you hopefully you find your queen yeah um because
01:20:59.000 you know i have to be honest i'm not a great companion at this point in my life you know
01:21:04.820 Well you want to do your own thing
01:21:07.760 You want to just be the kind of
01:21:09.180 There's no complaints
01:21:11.660 At least you're honest about it
01:21:12.540 My objective isn't to be in a relationship right now
01:21:15.580 I'm doing my thing 0.98
01:21:16.460 When you have a girl who's almost been seasoned 0.99
01:21:20.600 When you said it 0.51
01:21:22.160 She's been in a relationship 1.00
01:21:23.100 She knows the fucking drill 1.00
01:21:24.660 And can teach what I need 1.00
01:21:27.880 Me about how this works 1.00
01:21:29.820 And she'll make jokes too
01:21:31.700 She's like we gotta have
01:21:32.580 You know 0.98
01:21:33.320 Kid's not super soon 1.00
01:21:34.440 But she's like
01:21:34.960 You know
01:21:35.700 She wants them
01:21:36.380 I think I
01:21:36.840 You know
01:21:37.060 I'm crushing the uncle game
01:21:38.400 With my nieces and nephews
01:21:39.220 And I think it'd be cool
01:21:40.060 But also right now
01:21:41.380 We're not in a rush
01:21:42.320 But she'll make jokes
01:21:43.320 Being like 1.00
01:21:43.660 I need people to like
01:21:44.960 Look after me 1.00
01:21:45.580 When you fucking die 1.00
01:21:46.400 Way before me 1.00
01:21:47.080 Hilarious
01:21:47.960 Hilarious
01:21:49.200 Yeah yeah
01:21:49.620 And then also you know
01:21:50.440 And then there's like a beat
01:21:51.240 And then she doesn't laugh
01:21:52.080 And I'm like okay
01:21:52.540 She meant that
01:21:53.020 Oh shoot she meant it
01:21:53.820 For sure 0.96
01:21:54.040 You can pass the meatloaf
01:21:54.760 Yeah
01:21:54.980 Are you a meatloaf?
01:21:56.500 Yeah
01:21:56.680 What's that?
01:21:57.200 You eat meatloaf?
01:21:58.160 Yeah
01:21:58.360 In LA?
01:22:00.420 Who's cooking that? 0.99
01:22:01.540 Probably mom up in Seattle.
01:22:02.940 Mom's meatloaf.
01:22:03.580 Yeah.
01:22:04.140 Why, do you have a meatloaf spot?
01:22:05.060 You said that like you were opening a meatloaf restaurant.
01:22:07.280 Dude, I can't remember the last time I've heard anyone talk about actually eating meatloaf.
01:22:10.700 It's an aggressive move.
01:22:11.940 I think if you order it in public, you're saying a lot about yourself. 0.91
01:22:14.540 You're weird. 0.84
01:22:14.920 Yeah, you're a weird guy.
01:22:15.900 Dude, like if you're at a dinner at a nice restaurant and someone says, I'll take the meatloaf.
01:22:19.580 I love meatloaf.
01:22:20.520 Just getting outed.
01:22:21.380 Would you order it at a restaurant?
01:22:23.500 I'm not a psychopath.
01:22:24.520 Yeah, there we go.
01:22:25.020 It's a big, it's a tall order, man.
01:22:26.960 Just whisper it.
01:22:27.460 Hi, can I get these for the appetizer?
01:22:29.600 Don't make a big deal out of it
01:22:30.760 But if you could just
01:22:31.540 Like leave it at the edge
01:22:32.180 Of the table
01:22:32.540 And act like it was
01:22:33.200 Like a mistake
01:22:33.940 And then I'll be like
01:22:34.960 Well it's here
01:22:35.600 We gotta have something
01:22:36.280 Yeah
01:22:36.700 That guy
01:22:37.720 You guys have a
01:22:39.020 We gotta wrap this up
01:22:39.780 I don't know
01:22:40.320 You know
01:22:40.880 I got nothing left
01:22:41.960 Unless you got something
01:22:42.720 I mean
01:22:43.720 Oh is that her
01:22:44.360 Yeah
01:22:44.760 She's beautiful
01:22:45.960 Thanks dog
01:22:46.720 She looks a lot younger
01:22:47.660 Than what you said
01:22:48.240 Gotta be honest George
01:22:48.960 I don't like the way 0.99
01:22:49.420 You fucking looked 1.00
01:22:50.040 Or said that dude 1.00
01:22:50.900 But we can edit that out
01:22:51.740 He goes
01:22:52.260 He goes
01:22:52.560 Wow dude
01:22:53.540 She looks beautiful 1.00
01:22:54.120 That's your girl huh
01:22:55.820 Good to know I can 0.88
01:22:56.720 Leave a phone over 0.98
01:22:57.480 She's coming to
01:22:57.800 Tonight show
01:22:58.620 You just see your work
01:23:00.520 In the crowd
01:23:00.900 I'm over here
01:23:01.260 He's like
01:23:01.480 Yeah
01:23:01.860 Yeah dude
01:23:03.540 But dude
01:23:04.720 Thank you for coming on
01:23:05.380 This world man
01:23:06.080 You guys are crushing it man
01:23:07.000 Hell yeah
01:23:07.400 Very cool to be a part of it
01:23:08.640 Where can we find you
01:23:09.280 On Instagram
01:23:09.700 Adam Ray Comedy
01:23:10.400 On Instagram
01:23:11.080 Adam Ray Comedy
01:23:13.080 On Twitter
01:23:13.460 Podcast about last night
01:23:14.800 You can see me on
01:23:16.020 I'm going back to Australia
01:23:17.000 To shoot season 2
01:23:18.240 Of Young Rock
01:23:18.880 Which is the rock show
01:23:20.220 About his life
01:23:20.800 Playing Vince McMahon
01:23:21.640 So if you got a steroid guy
01:23:22.800 Oh no way
01:23:24.160 Yeah
01:23:24.460 Oh very cool
01:23:25.660 Yeah man
01:23:26.080 So we did season 1 last year
01:23:27.260 And
01:23:27.460 That's so cool
01:23:29.540 It was only in a couple eps last season
01:23:31.360 Because it took you up until he was in college
01:23:32.920 And now it's going to be full wrestling all season
01:23:34.540 So I'll be jacked for that
01:23:36.960 And then stand up dates
01:23:39.540 At AdamRayComedy.com
01:23:40.780 And then probably
01:23:43.160 Helping Jeff buy a truck
01:23:45.740 In the next couple weeks 0.99
01:23:46.840 Hey Uncle Jeff we're going to get you that fucking truck 0.99
01:23:49.140 It'll happen but not yet 1.00
01:23:50.620 Keep believing man
01:23:51.580 Guys we love you
01:23:54.200 Hit that subscribe button we'll see you next time
01:23:55.740 Take it easy bye
01:23:57.460 Lisa, tell them about our new show.
01:24:00.260 We have a new podcast.
01:24:01.680 It's called Don't Lie to Me.
01:24:03.040 I'm Lexi Iwanu.
01:24:04.220 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.
01:24:08.160 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,
01:24:10.380 which means we have wildly different references,
01:24:12.800 occasionally different opinions.
01:24:14.220 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.
01:24:17.060 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,
01:24:19.920 Good Taste is my business.
01:24:22.120 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
01:24:25.000 or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:24:27.460 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.
01:24:34.580 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.
01:24:38.980 Each week, I bring on an amazing guest.
01:24:40.880 Ooh, I scammed them.
01:24:42.060 What?
01:24:42.520 I could talk to you for an hour.
01:24:44.060 You're a generational yapper, like me.
01:24:46.060 That's why I had to make yapping a job.
01:24:47.820 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.
01:24:51.340 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:24:57.460 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're
01:25:03.660 the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast, the Improvised Character
01:25:08.080 Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.
01:25:12.680 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.
01:25:16.060 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.
01:25:18.280 Does the Pope dress up?
01:25:19.600 He winks on Halloween.
01:25:21.880 He gets right up next to the microphone.
01:25:23.620 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.
01:25:26.520 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.
01:25:32.040 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,
01:25:36.520 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:25:39.580 I'm Hamza.
01:25:40.340 And I'm Martin.
01:25:41.000 And we're the hosts of Out of Character, the best podcast in the world, is what they said.
01:25:45.200 Wait, they said that?
01:25:46.220 Yeah, yeah, they said that.
01:25:47.380 The best podcast with two best friends who jabber and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff,
01:25:53.060 give our input on it.
01:25:54.180 That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener.
01:25:56.520 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:26:01.900 Sometimes I just feel like a burden.
01:26:03.540 You're a bird.
01:26:04.300 You fly. 1.00
01:26:05.000 You're a Martin.
01:26:05.640 And we are Out of Character Podcast.
01:26:07.880 Dude, you messed up the clip.